#I'm *suffering* over here
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I am one who never is able to reread books, no matter how much I love them and think about them and how strong their grip is on my very heart and soul.
Like, I don't know if it's just the "there are so many other, new books I want to read" or if it's the "I already know what happens so the adrenaline isn't as high" or what it is, but...
I just cannot reread a book. I've tried (and I think the closest I got was a couple books of the HP series way back when...)
BUT-- I'm saying all that preface to say this--
I really, really, really wanna reread Fourth Wing & Iron Flame.
Because when I say I cannot think of anything else-- I mean it. They have overtaken every single thought (and it doesn't help that I've been listening to fantasy fangirls podcast to get all the deep dives lately, no, that doesn't help at all).
I have dozens of other books I want to read. An ever-growing and never-ending TBR pile. It's crazy...
And yet...
I want Xaden. I want Violet. I want Sgaeyl and Tairn and Andarna. I want Liam. I want Rhiannon. I want Ridoc and Sawyer. I want to go back over and over to Basgiath.
Dammit!
I'm probably gonna end up rereading these, aren't I?
#books#fourth wing#iron flame#rebecca yarros#the empyrean#xaden riorson#violet sorrengail#sgaeyl#tairn#andarna#liam mairi#rhiannon matthias#basgiath war college#dragons#personal#ramblings of a mad woman#WHEN IS BOOK 3 COMING?!#I'm suffering over here
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RELEASE A DECENT QUALITY VIDEO OF THE KONKUSU SAKASHITA FIGHT SCENE YOU BASTARDS
#I'm suffering over here#is it really even a fight scene when the one guy just flattens the other guy like a steamroller
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Okay, that's it, I'm ready for 2024 to be over now. It's made it quite clear it's out to get me and I'm tired of dealing with this shit. Can I turn into a bear and hibernate until 2025 comes, please?
#seriously i want this to stop. wake me up when this fucking year is over.#i'm suffering over here#oh my god this week has been hell#hylian rambles#vent post
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you do not know the true pain
when an eyelash falls into your eye, until you have a infinite number of eyes. Like it sucks ass.
#Angel problems#GodHelpMe#Please#I'm suffering over here#My stupid body ain't built with hands!#What do I do?
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Hire me Blizzard I'll give them the couple's sleepwear they deserve
#PLEASE every day im so upset they don't have matching skins#yea there's the one where they're both young but i don't think i've seen a single Rein use that one#i'm suffering over here#overwatch#overwatch 2#overwatch fanart#ana amari#reinhardt wilhelm#overwatch ana#overwatch reinhardt#anahardt#arg… that be me art matey
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Thinking about Them 🥺
Art Tumblr | Twitter
#xmen#x men#x men 97#roguegambit#x men fanart#rogue#gambit#remy lebeau#anna marie lebeau#HELP i've fallen into roguegambit HELL and i can't get out#and when i say Hell i mean it i'm fucking Suffering over here#i'm so so emo over them just want them to be soft and happy and safe and in love#also have the BIGGEST fattest crush ever on these two god#especially rogue oh my god#THE girl ever that southern accent has bewitched me body and soul#xmen97 you don't want to know what will happen if you don't fucking give them back to me#art#my art#literarymerritt#merritt draws
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Posting a close up just because :D
#soaps art#jason todd fanart#Batarang incident aftermath#I was about to tag this batfam but i dont think that applies here#The school semester is over and I'm suffering a mild existential crisis as I wonder what I'm going to do with my life#Itll be ok tho
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Ugh I'm so sleepy. Eepy man. Enjoy this shit I cooked up in ten minutes.
You wake up, only to find yourself just as tired as you were a few hours ago. Your eyelids are heavy, and you're fighting back sleep with every blink. Exhaustion wracking your body with every movement.
You feel Simon groan and sit up next to you.
"Mmm... five more minutes?" You mumble sleepily, shivering at the sudden lack of warmth.
"'M sorry love, we've gotta get up"
"Please? I'm so tired..." You whine quietly
"Negative," he says, chuckling at your miserable pout.
"Please, Si?" You say it so sweetly. The nickname you rarely used. His weakness.
A moment passes before you finally hear a response.
"Fine."
You grin, knowing that you've won. He lays back down and wraps his arm around you, pulling your back to his chest. You close your eyes and sleep quickly overtakes you.
Of course, it was never just 'five more minutes'. Simon called your work shortly after and informed them that you wouldn't be coming in today. However that works.
#I'm actually so tired it's unreal#Dying out here#Ofc I didn't get to take the day off. I have to suffer#Who knew exhaustion was what would make me write smt#That's crazy#Got less than 2 hours of sleep#Which actually normally doesn't bother me#But I guess it adds up over time#*shocked pikachu face*#If only I had a Simon in my life#simon ghost riley#cod x reader#ghost x reader#ghost x gn reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x gn reader
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Why do these shots look so uncomfortably similar? Did they do this on purpose? Were they meant to parallel each other - Remy being dead and Rogue feeling dead inside? Is that what this is signifying? Is that what they're telling us with this? Haven't we suffered enough?
These writers are fucking sadists...
#x men 97#gambit#remy lebeau#rogue#anna marie lebeau#romy#haven't we suffered enough?#they're drinking our tears#i'm not okay#i'll never be over this#rogue x gambit#the payoff to this better be worth it i s2g#cable get your ass back here and fix this shit
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best believe i don't know shit about mk11 but i sure as hell know these guys gay asf
#mortal kombat#mk11#sub zero#scorpion#hanzo hasashi#kuai liang#subscorp#kuaihanzo#i want mk11 so badly ☹️☹️☹️#but i'm only allowed to buy it (with my own money) after exams are over???#that is like#3 months away#you're depriving me here#frankly im suffering
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Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.
Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.
Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.
Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.
#i did try to draw that distinction in the original post but I didn't really go into detail#mostly bc i was trying to be concise and just focus on how the church talks to sufferers#so here's the long version#pontifications and creations#only thou art holy#also side note: there was someone yesterday who responded to that post with the suggestion that suffering is generally the sufferer's fault#and it got worse from there#just an absolutely rank response that had me immediately blocking that person and googling if there was a way to remove someone's addition#idk to what degree that person is an active member of this broader christian community we've got going on here#but if you see that post (and you'll know it when you see it) please as a favor to me don't interact with it#there were some lovely responses and additions to that post yesterday too#but that one made me mad#idk. to a certain degree i wanted to vent#they're blocked now though so whatever#anyway. I've sort of been percolating on these various thoughts for a few weeks#since i went to a really fluffy women's talk on suffering#and now i kind of want to give my version#I'm far from the greatest sufferer in the world. i am well aware of that#but as I've been sick I've just done So Much Thinking and reading about theodicy and struggle with God that i feel qualified to opine#unlike the giver of that talk#anyway#tag rant over#...for now#theodicy
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The most embarrassing series of posts about Lawlu you will ever read: edition Punk Hazard (part 2)
We're still not done with the Punk Hazard! There's way too many interactions with them there and posts have apparently a restriction of 30 images, geez. Anyway, let's follow the tale further!
Law: Hey, I can hear that.
It's hilarious, because it turned out to be true in the end. Law wouldn't betray Luffy (as in backstab him), but he would finish the alliance early if that means keeping Luffy safe. But would it count as betrayal actually?
And then Luffy brags again. Wait, or doesn't he? It sounds kinda correct to me though lol. Also of course there's nothing to worry about, after all it will be Law's job from now on!
Law (thinking): Those people... how did they survive so long on their own?! They have no sense of danger!
Probably a moment later: Wait, so it will be my job to worry for them all the time?!
Law (thinking): It's nice of them to have brought the kids here, but they're pirates, I can't really expect Strawhats to actually want to help them, right? Damn, if I have to choose between keeping Mugiwara-ya safe and keeping the children safe, I guess the choice is only one to make...
Law (thinking): They actually want to help the children?... but why? They're not friends with them like with that fishman and mermaid on Sabaody... are they saying this just on a whim? Anyway, I can't lose the main goal from sight, keeping Mugiwara-ya safe is the priority.
To understand Law's odd reaction here we need to go back to his flashback:
Because when he told the nun and the children that he doesn't want to leave without Lammy, they just told him they will leave him behind on his own (but will return for him later on). That's why he expects that Nami wants to stay behind by herself. But Luffy's isn't having any of that, Luffy's like "no one is getting left behind on my watch". And no wonder really, because Luffy also knows how it's like. After all didn't Garp and Dragon leave him behind on his own as well, choosing to pursue their jobs instead? But Luffy does not want others to feel the same way he did.
Law's shocked "?!" there really says volumes. He probably didn't expect that option of "not leaving anyone behind" as even possible. We will see him struggling to accept it later on as well in this arc.
Law (thinking): Wait a second... How did that turn out this way?!
Because let's rewind a bit. Law's just reached his inner peace with the dificult decision that he's gonna sacrifice the children's fate in favour of keeping Strawhats safe. But here Luffy makes a 180 turn on him and tells him "Actually, we're saving the kids and there is this funny samurai as well, we also want to reassemble him". And Law is like TrafalgarLaw.exe stopped functioning, please reboot. He thought he made it clear this is not the time to be altruistic and has a difficult time to process this illogical conclusion. You were too lost in your own thoughts, that's why you missed it, Law.
Law (thinking): Friends?! What?! Whatever, put that thought aside for now, more importantly... those conditions for the alliance are ridiculous! Also it would totally be something I would want to do and make it a condition, if not for the fact I think it's impossible to pull that all off.
Usopp (thinking, surprised): Luffy was right, he's actually a good guy!
Luffy (thinking): I knew you would help us!
Law (thinking): You must be kidding me, what kind of pirates are so altruistic. Great, now I have even more troubles to deal with. And yet I can't refuse them.
Law (thinking): No, anything but this...!
I'm so sorry for him in this one, tbh. Can't make it look funny anymore, I'm sorry! (but if you really want to, then the classic "Am I a joke to you?" commentary is usually spot-on) At least it was Chopper and I think Law is okay with touching animals and minks.
Luffy (thinking): Torao, you come up with the best ideas! This sounds so fun!
Law (thinking): I'm actually not gonna allow you to rethink. You need to stick with me so I can keep you safe.
(my god Torao)
Luffy: No chance! Good luck getting rid of me now after you offered friendship to me!
(those two, I swear...)
Fun fact: he didn't, lol. Law trusted him with this, but Luffy told them all only after they boarded the Sunny lol. Ouch, Luffy!
Luffy's safety is constantly on his mind, isn't it... and he's taking the most work on himself as well. Also can you try to think of anything else for a change, Trafalgar Law?! I know you're super duper worried but, come on...
Yeah, I know Law, right? You try so hard to keep him safe, and he goes and does some ridiculous shit again. And so the neverending spiral of worrying and suffering because of it continues for Law, lol.
Luffy (thinking): I will make you proud, Torao! Just watch me kidnap that guy in a few secs!!
Robin (thinking): Luffy is so excited, not sure if it's because of the plan or that Trafalgar. Probably the latter, actually, he just ignored the plan after all...
He's adorable but omg, they miss the marks all the time when it comes to each other, don't they. It's pure romantic comedy!
The end result is to be expected haha. Law's eyes are like constantly on Luffy lol. At least Law's not so anxious and worried anymore, because fake cuffs are part of his backup plan, so things are going okay for now.
Luffy is instantly interested in Torao's connection to Joker. He just wants to know more about Law, circumenstances be damned, because who cares they're locked up, right.
Law (thinking): Really? You ask about it now?! Fine, whatever, I will tell you... it's not like I can hide it from you forever.
He's not really that great at lying to Luffy, is he? Unless he just sold him a half-truth, but it doesn't appear to be this way. Alliance is all about trust after all, right? (Law says that in Wano) And Law is a bit uncomfortable sharing his connection to Doflamingo, but he does it anyway.
Luffy is so easily impressed with Torao, and it makes it even funnier that it's for all the wrong things really lol. Though it's understandable because when Ace died he got a big hole in his chest and couldn't survive, so in Luffy's mind anyone who can actually live despite that might be like the strongest person ever in his mind (stronger than Ace even?!). It's ridiculous, cute and actually a bit touching. I doubt Law understood it right lol, he's just lying there in disgrace.
Law (thinking): You will pay for this! Especially for making me look so pathetic in front of Mugiwara-ya!
Also Luffy please stop staring at Law like this all the time and close your mouth. He's so infatuated with him.
Law's face here is kinda hilarious, listening to Robin's and Luffy's talk about Kinemon's legs. Is he thinking something like "Interesting, you like it that much? I could do it for you all the time actually... I can do so much more, in fact"
Please someone shut them up.
Change of tone. As soon as Luffy's so worried and stressed, Law becomes all serious and worried as well. You can't make this shit up.
Showing off in front of Luffy lol. You actually want him to think you're cool, don't you, Law?
Luffy: Omg you're so cool Torao! I thought we're goners fr!
And guess what, it's working like a charm. Oh, Luffy!
Luffy adoring Law again, his eyes are almost sparkling here :D he tries to show off a little as well there heh. It's like "Torao, I'm so impressed with you, so be impressed with me and my crew as well!!"
Law, when not ordering people around: "is there anyone in here who can do x or y?". He's really not used to this "equal alliance" thing either, isn't he? Because that's such an awkward thing to say. Is this first ever alliance for him as well? Perhaps all other arrangements he had was just Law giving people orders.
That would mean this is first alliance both for Luffy AND Law awww. Oda, stop, I'm cringing! There's no way Law did it just for Luffy, right?...
Law making Luffy laugh on purpose will never stop having a special place in my heart <3 because you know he said this just for that. He doesn't yet care much about the others, but he sure af cares for Luffy. Perhaps he joked a bit because he didn't want to see Luffy so anxious like before when worrying about his crew geezas stop.
Someone's showing off again and it works like a charm. Can you stop making it such a show ffs, Law. No you can't, you're just having too much fun seeing Luffy so obviously impressed.
I mean... anyone still doubting Law loves Luffy after this image would have to also doubt Law ever loved his little sister, you know?
Also he's really not very honest, is he. Still not gonna admit it openly, acting cold and keeping his distance, despite the fact Luffy is already holding a dear spot in his heart. I know Law has predisposition for being serious and secretive, like that's just legit part of his personality, but he also clearly doesn't want Luffy to know how he actually feels about him.
Damn, Punk Hazard is long. I wonder if I can finish it with the next post haha. To be continued!
#one piece#trafalgar law#lawlu#luffy#one piece manga#incorrect quotes#or actually???#they're so adorable together I can't stand it sometimes#do tell me if you start to doubt what you thought about the canon after reading this I'm very curious#I mean I might still be interpreting things wrong at some points but I'm actually not adding much of my own here#just reading their expressions and making the connections#repeat after me: suffer more Law suffer! I can watch you worrying over Luffy forever#what do you mean this is not what Oda meant when he said he's gonna make Law suffer??#love is a hurricane#one piece meta
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'The Kiss' Solas X Lavellan
'His kiss. Soft and sweet, honeyed with words of gentle poison.'
Inspired by one of my favourite paintings of Klimt.
Acrylic ink and colored pencil on paper.
#How the scene at crestwood should have ended#It's like a little solavellan art factory over here#Should I be conderned that I spend all my free time drawing these two lost souls? I just can't help it.#I'm trying to cope okay#by sharing my suffering#solavellan#solavellan hell#my fanart#my art#dragon age inquisition#poetry#original artwork#inspired by klimt#illustration#I am suffering okay#I should probably make this into a print#solas x female lavellan#solasmance#solas x inquisitor#da: inquisition#dai#I'm not crying#dragon age dreadwolf#solas#inquisitor lavellan#ah
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NO OK BUT I'M STILL NOT OVER BOOTHILL AND DAN HENG AND THE JADE ABACUS IN ENA'S DREAM!!!!!
For some extra context, I have a whole henghill manifesto I wrote over here, but the tl;dr is that Dan Heng decides to use the Jade Abacus of Allying Oath to save the Express Crew the first time. Boothill urges him to think it over carefully, but he doesn't stop him. And then, the second time Dan Heng decides to use it, we get this instead:
And just! That's so!! so!!!
Because like. We see in the first battle against Sunday that that Jade Abacus is effective, like we really do just get an entire army lead by a whole-ass Emanator of The Hunt right to our location and ready to fuck shit up. It's important. It's incredibly valuable. That is a huge amount of power to hold in the palm of one's hand.
But Tiernan's relic works the same way.
Galaxy Rangers are terribly dangerous. Boothill comments on this when discussing Acheron's motives, because he can't believe anyone would be stupid enough to get The Hunt on their asses. They're considered to be on a level even above The Annihilation Gang.
And now, with the burial relic, he has a way to get thousands of them, almost immediately, and all in one place.
And you can't tell me that wouldn't be something extremely useful to Boothill, like literally life-saving. He's wanted by the IPC. He makes his living as a bounty hunter. His whole driving motivation in life right now is to do whatever he can, up to and including throwing away his own human body, to ruthlessly hunt down one man and kill him in revenge. Like that has to be dangerous, the IPC is a massive entity with far-reaching influence and money and power and weaponry. He surely must have already had some close calls.
Like can you imagine it? Galaxy Rangers are solitary creatures. If Boothill were to find himself near death, he would probably be all alone. Do you think he had regrets? Did he wonder if anyone would find his own burial relic? Did it feel the same way it did when they melted his flesh, replaced it with metal? Did he lay there with his vision slowly blacking out until he thought of home, and family, and the little daughter who he never even got to hear her first word, until he was so full of fury that he could prop himself up on his rage like a crutch and find help?
Tiernan's relic would have been like a get-out-of-jail-free card. Just for one time, no matter where Boothill was, someone would find him. The Galaxy Rangers aren't sociable or organized between themselves, but they help their own. Someone would save him.
He chooses to give all of that up to help Dan Heng.
And I just cannot get over it, especially the wording of it, the pause before he speaks, the gentle way he tells him to hold onto his once-in-a-lifetime treasure...!! He wants Dan Heng to leave this to him! He wants him to keep this precious item that will help him save his companions again in the future! And maybe it's just...wishful thinking, me reading too much into it? But I mean. Just the way he says it...
I really do think it comes from a place of deep kinship and respect. That there's a lot of thought and feeling behind that statement. Something from one Pathstrider of The Hunt to another. Boothill fought for his home and his family, he fought really really hard! But. Sometimes that just doesn't matter. And now he's watching Dan Heng fight for his, too.
When he made that decision the first time, Dan Heng was in the parlor car of the Astral Express. He was completely removed from any danger. He could have chosen to get the hell out of Dodge and not look back. Obviously we know he would never even consider such a thing, but it was technically an option, and Boothill watched him decide to go back into the proverbial lion's den for his friends anyway. And I'm sure that was part of what sealed his decision, to later use Tiernan's relic instead of the Jade Abacus to summon enough people to disrupt Ena's Dream. Because he greatly values ideas like righteousness and justice and saving people, and Dan Heng so beautifully embodies all of that and then some.
Boothill doesn't have people to protect anymore, only ghosts to avenge.
And there is just something so endlessly endearing about him wanting to help Dan Heng, to make sure his friend doesn't go through that the way he did.
#honkai star rail#henghill#boothill#dan heng#hsr#hsr boothill#hsr dan heng#bootheng#I feel like I'm just repeating myself a bunch and not saying anything orz#spinning my tires#do you get me. do you feel me.#do you understand my vision#does the blood in your mouth taste the same as mine.#I'm frothing at the mouth over here Hoyo how dare you get me so into a ship OTL#there are few things that get me in the heart so hard as 'character loses everything and uses it to make sure no one else goes through that#just#ARGH#Because Dan Heng has suffered so much in his life but it's never been this specific kind of loss.#He never had any kind of family to lose in the first place. He didn't until Himeko took him in.#But Boothill has been through all that and it sucked and he already really likes and relates to Dan Heng.#they're like two goofy little peas in a pod haha#so of course he wants to protect him#How could his heart not be swayed by him?
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For the record (excluding the mentions during and directly after the marriage):
Number of times Dan mentioned Henry in the video unprompted: 1
Number of times Phil mentioned Henry in the video unprompted: 4
#dan and phil#dapg#phan#i had to count because i was like did dan even ever mention him again#so at least he did once but this is still like phil...buddy...#dan just suffering through the game barely engaging with anything except the careers#meanwhile phil spends the whole time like#'oh... you and HENRY huh? well I'M over here with my wife susan and lesbian daughter suzette sooo'
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*launches a care package into space for cal kestis specifically*
#jedi survivor#star wars#cal kestis#bd-1#beedee doodles#bright eyed and fluffy haired#every day i wake up and choose HAPPINESS AS MY CANON#okay this is my post so it's time to rant in the tags#the wanderer jacket is THE BEST ofc#but god i cannot find any pants i'm 100% happy with to pair with it OTL#the BELTS DON'T MATCH#the BOOTS DON'T MATCH#it's like the glamour system in xiv all over again#where things aaaaaaaaaalmost match but the buckles are silver and gold or the leather straps are a few shades off from each other#i was only put here to suffer#cal my honey bunches of oats i'm sorry i didn't want to shell out 20 bucks for the deluxe edition so you'd have nice pants#dapanda draw proper backgrounds challenge (impossible)
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