#I'll probably still be writing on my breaks instead of eating lol
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not-neverland06 · 2 months ago
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Are there more logan fics in the works?👀
Yes!
I don't know if you guys care about this but I do have a list of WIP's:
-Old Man Logan Hc's -I was considering a monster!fucker esque fic but I'm not sure -a couple hurt/comfort requests -Lumberjack!Logan -a handful of X-Men reader requests with varying powers
I am still writing for him, I'm just having a little bit of writer's block because I keep bouncing between too many ideas lol
plus some other miscellaneous Hugh stuff (Van Helsing and some godawful magician movie he was in)
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icewindandboringhorror · 6 months ago
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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toothfa-1-ry · 2 years ago
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DON'T MAKE PROMISES YOU CAN'T KEEP - CHISHIYA
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You always find yourself breaking the promises you made to Chishiya, you never meant to break the last promise though. I wonder if he felt the same
GENRE: fluff or angst it depends on how you look at it :)
PAIRING: Chishiya x gn reader (this is my first time writing a gn reader so pls correct me if there are mistakes)
WARNING: swearing, blood, injuries
A/N: a quick paced fic which probably made no sense lol but I still hope you enjoy. Is Chishiya ooc? Maybe? Will I delete this? Maybe? Anyways pls reblog and write something I would really appreciate it ( ˘ ³˘)♥
Ps remember to hydrate and eat ♡
-
You look up at the night sky, stars scattered everywhere.
It took a minute for you to realize where you were and what happened as you breathed heavily.
Oh right.
You were shot, you were bleeding, you were dying
"Fuck this game" you mutter as your right hand is clutching your side where the bullets were lodged in.
"fuck-" you cough out blood "fuck..fuck the king of spades" you squeezed your eyes shut trying to remember how it had exactly followed out.
Kuina got shot, Ann got shot, that Heiya girl was gone somewhere and Aguni was no where to be found.
You let out a soft groan still clutching your side tightly, trying to stop the bleeding as you try to remember how it had exactly followed out
You remember yourself seeing red after kuina fell on the floor, you remember cursing Arisu's plan even though it worked..sort of
You remember punching the king of spades and dragging a knife across his face, that wasn't enough to kill him though. That bastard had to put bullets in you. You remember clutching your stomach and stumbling away somewhere before falling down.
"The bomb must have killed him" you murmur softly looking to your left seeing ruins of buildings and smoke.
You look over at you desolated and ruined surrounding and then look at your red stai ed shirt "shit I'm gonna die in this hellhole"
You wanted to cry but you just couldn't. The tears won't come out. "Kuina..Ann" you mutter softly as you closed your eyes. Your forgetting someone, who are you forgettin-
"Chishiya" your eyes widened and you gasped softly "Chishiya-" you try standing up but for no use as you felt a sharp pain all through your body as you moved a inch "fuck" you cursed.
"I'll come back for you. I promise" you say as you held Chishiya's hand looking at the red, staining his white hoodie
"go play the game"
"I'll come back" you said you eyes turning glassy
"y/n" chishiya turned at you this time holding your arm firmly "I'll live, quit acting like I'm dying" he said it firmly even though his voice was slightly hoarse "go and play the game"
You nod as arisu urges you to come fast, the game registration was about to end
"I'm gonna be with you again..I'm gonna end this whole thing with you" you whisper again one last time before turning away and running leaving chishiya alone, bleeding.
"Chishiya-" you call out his name but at what cost? Your stomach seemed to bleed even more at the slightest of movement and everytime you cough blood seemed to pour out of your mouth.
You didnt even know where you were, you left Chishiya somewhere and promised him something that seemed impossible to do now given your circumstances.
"please Chishiya..I promised him, I have to go-" you plead out loud, as if some kind of supernatural force would bring you to him.
If you were really gonna die in this fucked up world, you want to be next to him. The crazy psychopath who saved your life even just a few hours ago when Niragi pointed the gun at you leaving him wounded instead, the cat eyed boy who you seemd to find comfort in the fucked up games you were playing.
Maybe it was at this point when you realize your feelings for him, or maybe you had realised it a long time ago and all you were doing now was accepting it.
Without knowing a single tear dropped rolled out of your eye, the stars looked brighter than ever but deep down you knew it was going to be the last thing you were gonna see. You were giving up, what if arisu and usagi win the last game? You were already dying that too alone-
"you were always kind of loud."
You snapped out of your thoughts, was that?
"didn't you say you were coming to get me? Jeez instead you got shot too huh- I got hit by a bullet for you just for you to get hit by 3 more?"
You moved slightly which seemed to be the wrong thing to do as you wince on pain
"look left, don't move your body. I thought you said you passed medical school"
Immediately your head turned left and there you saw, the same bored cat eyes and white hoodie that now had a huge red stain in the right chest area.
There he was limping, walking very slowly, dragging his feet as his right hand was firmly pressed in his chest trying to contain the blood flow.
"Chishiya- stop don't, don't move" you say as loud as you can looking at him as you layed down on the ground "your gonna bleed even more- just lie down there"
Chishiya walked a few more steps going against your protest before he let out a wince of pain as he collapsed to the ground only a few inches away from you.
"agh..I'm tired" he said as you turned his head to face you "you look tired too-"
He stopped midway though as he saw tears streaming down your face "y/n-"
"you idiot why were you walking around- your bleeding" you cry out "your shot so why were you walking, coming to me- you came-"
"you called."
"wha-"
"you also promised to end this thing with me. You really should know how to keep the promises you make y/n"
It surprised you, the way he says it so nonchalantly as if you both weren't bleeding to death right now, as if he didn't risk his entire life right now.
"Arisu and Usagi are playing the queen of hearts right now." Chishiya said "just hang in there y/n"
You heard his raspy voice trying to reassure you "I don't know if-"
"saying that will jinx things up, hang in there."
You both look at eachother. Him looking at your face which seemed to be stained by tears and blood both probably yours and you staring at his tired eyes which seemed more tired than usual.
"you had to get shot... does it hurt?" He asked you
"of course it hurts you idiot" you let out what seemed to be a laugh.
"ah sorry, I shouldn't have asked" he mused
You both stayed in silence for a while before you break it
"w-why did you take the bullet for me..the one Niragi shot, why did you come infront of me?"
Pause
"maybe it's because my ideals have changed"
"wha-?" You held your breath
"maybe it's because my priorities have changed, maybe because I wanted to experience having a bullet inside of me-" Chishiya looks at you "maybe because I had a chance to protect you. Or maybe because I just wanted to"
"do you really mean it?" You say so softly in disbelief
"I've always wanted to protect you until your last game" he looks at the red stain that stained your white shirt.
"I've always wanted to be with you till the end" you whispered
You stare at the way his usual bored eyes slightly widened before letting out a soft sigh
You both get engulfed in silence again, there was no need for words.
"do you think we'll go back to the real world, by the end of this?"
"we-" chishiya seemed to hesitate for a while, contemplation whether to say it or not. "We're gonna go back to the real world. I trust Arisu"
You smile to yourself without saying anything as your sight seemed to grow weaker by the second, as you heard Chishiya's voice grow softer by each word
"okay" you didnt know if you really believed what you said but you really wanted to
Chishiya seemed to have realised this as he sighed softly, he paused for a while again before saying "it was nice knowing you. I'd like to know you even after going to the real world."
your eyes widened by his words before giving a soft smile "I'd like that too"
"Congratulations on clearing all the games. All surviving players will now be given a choice."
You gasped softly as chishiya muttered a few inches next to you "they did it"
"please select if you will accept permanent residence in this land or if you will not accept. I repeat-"
You look at the night sky as fircrackers of different colours burst
"I think-" chishiya looks at you and stretched out his right hand "I will not take it" his raspy voice finishes.
"i think-" you breath out as your reach out your left hand only to find out there was still some distance between leading the both of you to interlace your pinkys together "I will also not take it"
"Let's hang on to life for a little longer y/n...don't break another promise. We're gonna meet each other in the real world too" Chishiya's raspy voice breathed out
You nod slowly "I promise."
...
Present day
"bring a stretcher over here! I hear a heartbeat!"
" hang on there for a little bit"
"they've been severely injured, especially in the stomach. There seems to be internal bleeding as well"
"it's a miracle that they're still alive"
"they're heartbeat stopped for one whole minute"
"they were walking a thin line between life and death"
You open your eyes.
God people were so noisy, especially the two males who were in the bed next to yours
"I heard your heartbeat also stopped for one whole minute.. do you think anything changed?"
"Im not sure, I guess I look a lot flashier now. What about you?"
"Since I almost died, I think I'll be able to live a more useful life now."
"so you were also a good for nothing jerk huh?"
"yeah"
Soon a nurse came to take away 'Niragi' you you realised was the name of one of the guy whose heartbeat also stopped, leaving only the white haired male and you in the room
You cleared you voice
"uh- ahem, not that I was eavesdropping but- did you say your heartbeat also stop for a minute?"
The white haired boy turned to look at you slightly surprised "yes. I'm guessing you too."
"hm" you him "what a coincidence.."
Your both left with a silence, you look at him s you contemplate whether to say something
"uh- by the way, my answer is probably yes."
"excuse me?"
"uh..well you were asking him if anything changed right?..I think so. I don't know what but" you touch your heart "I feel this sort of relief and happiness yet I also feel sad as if I made a promise to someone but I can't remember"
The white haired male looks at you with his cat eyes. You could almost swear that you know him.
"ah sorry you didn't ask me-" you quickly apologize for speaking out of your turn until you were interupted
"what a coincidence. I feel the same way. As if i made a promise but I can't remember it...that's a unique way to put it"
He says the words so nonchalantly as if the both of you hadn't just survived a meteor crash it surprised you, as if you had heated someone say something similar before
"I'm..y/n. Do I know you or?" You ask slowly trying to soak every small feature in his face, trying to remember from where you know him from.
"no.. although you look very familiar to me" he says "I'm Chishiya. It's nice to meet you"
He reaches out his hand and you reach out yours.
"it's nice to meet you too"
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weixuldo · 1 year ago
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Enigma// ch 13
anakin x reader
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a/n: sorry for the wait!!! i started a summer job and i’ve been hellllllaaaa busy lol- dw tho, im still writing!!
You have a relaxing dinner with Ahsoka until the end of the year approaches
warnings: cursing, cannon disabled character, insecurity, mention of periods, possible pregnancy mention,
_______________________________
More time passed and you prepped for finals; luckily this year you were able to exempt most of your sit in exams and instead only had one big project and a 20 page thesis due. 
You had been feeling nauseous for the past few days but the 20 page paper’s deadline was looming over you, so it was probably the stress from that. You also hadn’t had much time to eat, so you could also just be hungry. 
You ignored the feeling and went back to typing.
The paper was almost done, only two more pages then you were free for the weekend.. Just two more.
Ring Ring
Ahsoka was calling, you finished the sentence you were on before picking up the phone.
“Hey”
Hey hey! Are you busy tonight?
“I should be free after one more page of this thing”
Damn! Congrats! You've been at that shit since mid terms! I think that deserves celebration!
You laughed, hopefully she wasn’t proposing a party because you weren't quite feeling up to that.
“What do you have in mind?”
I dunno… wanna  just grab take out and eat it by the koi pond? I kinda just want a chill night before I have to start practice for nationals. 
“That sounds wonderful”
Cool! I'll see you at 6:30?
“Sounds good to me!”
Oki bye bye!
The end of the line clicked as she hung up and a small smile settled onto your face; even though you hadn’t known Ahsoka that long, the two of you just clicked and were almost always on the same wavelength.
Some of you wanted to tell her about Anakin, but you just felt like at this point it would add drama to the already stressful end of the year. 
You were seen as the baby of the friend group, so you wouldn’t know how they would feel if you and Anakin officially confirmed the relationship…Also Ahsoka could be a little dramatic at times and you were afraid she would become too involved and make jokes or treat you and Ani differently.
And you had known Anakin long enough to know that those small changes would piss him off and he might accidentally take it out on the relationship.
You got back to your computer when you got a really bad cramp in your abdomen. 
Oh fuck, you hadn’t gotten your period on its normal week so apparently its deciding to come now…great, something else to add to your delightful week.
You finally finished your paper and let out a long groan as you stretched your back. You grabbed your keys and headed down to meet Ahsoka outside the dorms. Once the two of you met up and got your food, you walked to the koi pond on the northern side of campus. 
The sun was setting and the sky was a mixture of beautiful oranges and pinks; you took a seat on the iron bench that overlooked the gardens surrounding the koi pond. 
“This is so nice, I needed to chill,” Ahsoka said, breaking apart the cheap wooden chopsticks that came with her bento box. 
“Yea, I feel ya” you said opening the box of lo mein you ordered. 
“Ya know, I cant believe i’m gonna be graduating in just a few weeks… Like what the actual fuck, I swear I was just a freshman like two weeks ago” Ahsoka baffled as she watched the fish swim laps around the pond. 
“Oh yea, I wanted to get a brunch with all of us next sunday before I have to go to nationals, would you be able to come?” she added.
“Yes! I’d love to” you responded, before remembering that would be one of the last times you would see her before her graduation. 
“I’m going to miss you so much Ahsoka” you said sadly, “Will you keep in touch?”
“Does a fish need water? Of course y/n!” she smiled; “you’re my best girl friend; sure sky guy and Ben are nice, but they're not another girl. And I like Satine alot, but she's older and in a totally different place in life than us, ya know?” 
“Yea, I’m glad we met too” you smiled. 
You conversed over random topics and future plans-
“Do you think you’ll party a lot next year?” she asked you
“Hmm, I don’t think so” 
“Why not? Don’t you wanna find a partner or atleast a hook-up?” She asked, biting down on her last California roll.
“I’m actually pretty content, I think most of my party phase was exhausted freshman and sophomore year” 
“Yea, I get it, I really only kept going out cause the team likes to go to the big parties. Kinda changing topics though, are you interested in anyone this year?”
You froze for a split second before bringing the noodles to your mouth, “Not really, I mean I’ve been seeing this guy off campus, but I wanna keep it on the dl and so does he” you responded (you didn’t have the heart to completely lie to her).
“Ooo, is he cute? How old is he? What's his name? Does he have socials? I gotta make sure he’s good enough for my girl”
“Hah, that's a lot. Umm, I think he's cute, he doesn’t use social media much, and he’s just a bit older” (yeah right, more like twice your age).
“Ok….what's his name?” she asked again, a devious grin on her face.
You smiled and looked away, “Ahsoka, I love you, but I can't tell you, I promised him we’d keep it under wraps… He’s a very private person” 
“Do I know him?” she definitely was gonna guess it if she kept at the questions.
You took all the power you could to construct a final lie, “no, I met him on a dating app”.
“Oh, never mind I guess, I’m happy for you!”
Phew.
You were not practiced in lying.
“Thanks, I really like him… I think I may be in love…I’ve never felt this way before” you smiled. 
“That’s amazing, y/n. Will I meet him some day?”
“Of course” 
The rest of dinner was pleasant, until your stomach started hurting again.
“What’s wrong?” 
“Nothing, I think I'm just gonna get my period soon” you said.
“Wait, shouldn’t you have gotten it like two weeks ago?”
Huh?
“Yea, remember, we’re kind of synced, You’ve been starting yours half way through my cycle since like September”
“Oh, I think it's just late from the stress”
“Hopefully so” she laughed, “Wouldn’t want that mystery man to have knocked you up”. 
She was joking, but something in you became worried… it had been a long time since your last period… and you and Anakin had been pretty busy…but wait
Anakin couldn’t have kids. 
The doctors said so.
But what if…
You shook the thoughts from your head and asked Ahsoka if she would come with you to the drug store to pick up some tums for the stomach ache.
She went off to go look at the shampoo because she needed some more and you sneaked off to grab a pregnancy test.
While you were in line you decided to update your boyfriend on the night’s conversation
“Hey babe, just fyi Ahsoka was asking about who i was seeing so i lied and said a guy from tinder, just wanted to lyk”
In no time your phone buzzed
Alright, thanks for covering, have a good night princess.
“Goodnight my love”
___________________________________
The week went by and you only had the project to finish. Most of your academic stress was subsided, but your personal stress grew by the day.
You hadn't opened the pregnancy test you got last week… you couldn’t bring yourself to.
or
Maybe it was because you hadn't had time…
oh who were you kidding? 
You were scared. 
But if you were pregnant, you should probably find out soon. Right?
Right.
You went into the bathroom and locked the door.
This was it.
The moment of truth.
***
a/n: so this ch was more of a filler to get to the next few chapters…. the plot is thickening and i hope your interest stays!! ty again for reading :)
taglist: : @dnamht @sxoulohvn @angeelcoree @wtf-andys @httpeachesblog @katsukiswrld @jetiikote @poisonedsultana
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jichanxo · 10 days ago
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senseific update ⭐
am gonna talk about senseific and my writing goal last month, so this is a long post ↓
my goal last month was to add 5,000-10,000 words to my senseific wip, and at 12:05am on the first day of the next month, i made it to 10,000 words 😭🙏 so stoked!! i made some serious tangible progress. for once. lol
it's currently at 45k words. i'm not sure exactly how much i added, since i deleted some of my placeholder writing and that cut into the word count as i worked, so realistically i added a bit more than 10,000, though i have no idea how much. either way, i made it!
i got a first pass done of all the dance club stuff, which is... the writing equivalent of me Eating My Veggies. it's not always the most fun (especially covering things that happened in canon) but it's necessary. feels like i've been stuck there forever, and now i can move onto other things... until of course i have to proofread it, but shhh...
robotics and boxing are next, i think. still very lost when i think about the biker stuff 😭 i did end up mentioning the skateboarding in passing, but i don't think i'll do much with that since the plot is so short. (i guess shikishima will turn up at the finale anyway?)
anyhow that still means there's a whole lot to do, and i need to keep doing my notetaking on the clubs 😔 back to the mines...
since i added so many words to chapter 3 (since i finally filled out the conclusion to the dance club plot) i had to change where i split chapters 3/4!
currently things look like this:
chapter 1: 7,011 words (this one needs minor adjustments when i sort out my shit with robotics club)
chapter 2: 6,895 words (i have a spot marked to add a robotics club scene)
chapter 3: 9,990 words (The Dance Club Conclusion. so she's fucking Big. after i take a break i'll need to give it a second pass)
just from looking at the word counts of these chapters you can see why getting 10,000 words done was a big deal for me... got a big chunk done...
chapter 4 got a new title and i shoved a few of the end scenes of chp3 at the start of this one instead. after that is an unfinished boxing scene, then some kitakata related plot to look at, so those are probably the next things i'll aim to get done.
chapter 4's currently called "talk too much", since the scene of kitakata saying something stupid to yagami got moved here instead of chapter 3. and also uh. gossip gets brought up. usually i need to think a lot for titles but this immediately felt right for once.
speaking of titles though, right now i'm unsure about senseific's title. again. but i have no alternative so i'll just have to keep thinking about it. maybe i need to ask around for opinions... it's not an urgent issue so maybe i'll stop worrying so much.
anyway it was kinda funny writing kitakata and yagami sorta getting along with the full knowledge that kitakata is going to ruin it all in an already written later scene 💀 don't give kitakata too much credit yagami, he's going to make you regret it later lmao
anyway i think that's everything. i wrote this text wall at 1am (though i will post it at a normal time)
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knullanon · 2 years ago
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Could you write a part 2 of Lost and Found? Where he is introducing the reader to himself and what he do. But is treating her really delicately and softly. Afraid of losing the darling again.
sure! also sorry to everyone who doesn't like chicken alfredo, I got the munchies rn lol
Lost and Found Part 2
words: 2344
warnings: drugging, arguing, kidnapping, lmk if I missed any!
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~~~
It was a while before the strange headaches and lethargic feeling left. You still didn't know what had caused it, but you had to assume that it was whatever that woman had given you.
The reminder of what had happened made you on edge, and you remembered how you needed to get out. The doors were a start.
You tried to pry them open, but they seemed to be almost soldered shut. You couldn't move it, even just a little. You had given up on trying after the 3rd time, and instead looked around for other possible escape routes.
The window was thick. Too thick, actually, to even break it. You could see where the glass ended, and it had to be at least a few inches thick. So, you had to give up on that route too.
There were some vents in the room, but since the room was so tall in height, and there was almost nothing on the walls to latch onto, it would be a challenge to get up to them.
After a while, and looking at the same spots every 5 seconds, you decided to take a small break and just sit down for a minute.
There was a big, cushy chair that sat in front of an extravagant desk. The chair itself was huge, taller than you, and you had to hop into it rather than sit in it. However, it was the softest chair you had ever sat in. It almost felt like a cloud.
The desk, just like the chair, was also huge. You could barely prop your elbows on it, and you felt like a little kid at a dinner table. There were a few drawers that held some papers, pens, office things that you absentmindedly noted.
However, there was nothing really of interest. You did note that there were a few large gaps in some of the drawers, like something was taken out of them. There weren't many indicators to what, however, so you dropped that case too.
For a while, you just sat in the chair, and would sometimes turn around to look at the window. Outside, it almost looked like a large snowy canyon, with some trees at the bottom. It was huge. The canyon itself was wide and open, and you could tell you were somewhere in the mountains, as peaks popped up behind the rock formations, all of them different and probably extremely tall.
The trees at the bottom were mainly on the edges, but there were some spots that had been completely overrun by them, and you couldn't even see the snow from there. You had figured out that you were at least at the edge or end of something, probably the canyon itself.
Even though you were internally panicking and anxious, you couldn't help but forget about your worries when you looked outside to the pretty landscape in front of you.
"Are you enjoying the view?"
You jumped back, seeing that that woman was there. You almost sunk into the chair a little, before you hopped down from it, and started to back away.
Her head tilted, "I see the... medicine is wearing off. That's good. I was hoping that you would feel better enough to-"
Her eyes were trailing around the room, and she finally saw the untouched food that the man had left for you. She sighed, "-to eat something."
She walked over to the tray, picking up the bowl, and grabbed the spoon. She held at an angle, letting the soup fall back into the bowl before looking back at you. "It's cold." She said it bluntly, like she knew you had let it get that way.
She started walking back to the door, and turned to face you again. "Father will be back soon- I'll let him know to ask for another bowl. Or were you hungry for something else?"
You didn't know what to say. This woman had kidnapped you, was keeping you hostage, and now she was just acting like it was no big deal?
"Who are you?" You asked again, and this time (thank god) she awnsered.
"My name is Cassandra Savage. I'm your- well, Father will explain that to you." You tried to ask what she was, but she shut the door before you could even say anything.
---
After Cassandra left, you were alone for half an hour before someone else came in. You didn't really know what to do, since you had already searched the room for something to help you and had found nothing, so you instead decided to try and get some sleep.
However, you found it impossible knowing that either of them, or maybe someone new might enter without you knowing. You would close your eyes, only for them to snap back open, looking at the door, just to see that the room was still empty.
You realized after a while that it would be useless to sleep, and instead, you sat in the bed, and looked out the window, watching the snow fall. It was still beautiful, even if it was unwarranted.
You were so distracted by the window, that when you heard the door open, you spun around, the noise scaring the hell out of you. Standing in the doorway was that man. The one who had given you the food earlier, and who had to leave due to... something.
The silence that followed was loud. You both stared at each other for a good minute or two, before he finally made a move towards you. You didn't bother moving away, you realized that it was a useless effort, and you believed that if you were more compliant, there might be more opportunities for escape in the future.
He walked up to the side of the bed you were on, and put down the bowl on the nightstand. Looking at it, it looked like chicken alfredo. The glass of water he had given you earlier was sitting right next to it, untouched.
He walked to the desk, and moved behind it to the chair. He grabbed the headrest and started to drag it over to your bedside. Surprisingly, it made no noise when being pulled.
He moved it right next to you, just enough space in between that his legs could fit, before he sat down.
You didn't move from your position when he reached for the bowl again, picking it up and holding it out to you. While you wanted to just ignore him, you reluctantly took the bowl from him, and held it down in your lap.
He didn't say anything at first, and neither did you. It felt awkward, but really what the hell were you supposed to say?
"I apologize for leaving you earlier. There was a... business matter that couldn't wait."
"Who are you?"
While you were just trying to figure out why you were here, his face seemed to sadden. "You truly don't remember who I am?"
He reached up to touch your face, just like he did when you first saw him. But this time, you blocked his hand with your own.
He took back his hand, and sighed. "Did Cassandra not tell you why you are here?"
You shook your head, "She said you would explain it to me."
He put his hands in his lap, and leaned back. "I would ask that you let me explain everything before you say anything. Can you do that?"
"Yes."
"My name is Vandal Savage, and you are my daughter." Your confusion apparently showed, as he gave you a look, please don't.
"When you were 5, you were taken from me and your family. I still do not know by whom, but I do know that they gave you to your... 'parents'."
His jaw clenched as he spoke, and you could tell he was angry just thinking about it.
"However, I had believed you had been killed. They had hidden you so well, I paid hunters and assassins to find you, to bring you back. None of them were successful."
"I admit, I had overcome my grief after a while. While you were my baby, I realized that if you were dead then that meant that no one could harm you again. Even if I didn't know where you were buried, or where you were, there wasn't any doubt in my mind that you were dead."
He turned to you, again trying to cup your cheek. This time, you let him. "When Cassandra brought me the file, I thought it was another trick. But it was you."
There were so many emotions going through you. Was he lying? What if he's telling the truth? You had some belief that you were adopted by your... parents, but there was never any evidence to show that you were right.
Was he actually telling the truth?
"You were alive. You are alive. I couldn't believe it. My baby, who was kidnapped and hidden from me for so many years, is alive."
He held your face in his hands, looking down at you with adoration and tenderness. "I'm so sorry for not finding you: I'm sorry for leaving you."
He pulled you in, embracing you awkwardly since you hadn't moved from your position in the bed.
"_____, you will never leave me again."
His words made you stiffen. He pulled back, still holding your face. "Thank you for listening to me." He held a small smile for a moment, before it dropped.
"Now," he gestured to the bowl you held in your lap, "I need you to eat at least something."
You were about to reach for the fork, when he beat you to it. He picked at a piece of chicken, before going for a piece of pasta. He raised to your mouth, still holding the bowl.
You grabbed the fork from his hand, and tried to take it, but he wouldn't let go.
"What are you doing?" He pulled his hand away, and again tried to feed you himself.
"I can feed myself." You tried again, but he took the bowl and placed it on the table, along with the fork.
"Then why didn't you eat what I gave you earlier?" He didn't seem angry, more that he was confused.
"I-I didn't know who you were." You turned your head towards the window again, realizing how stupid you looked. Why couldn't he just let you eat by yourself?
"Did you think there was something in it? Do you think I would drug you?"
"Yes." You instantly regretted saying that, realizing that that might've just pissed him off. However, he stayed silent, waiting for you to continue.
"I mean, you did drug me to bring me here."
His eyes narrowed, "That was to bring you here. You don't have any idea on how to function in the world, how to survive. It's a miracle that you weren't hurt before I found you."
"Besides, it was to keep you safe. I didn't want you to hurt yourself when you were being taken here."
"I'm not incapable of living! I've been doing it for years, I'm not some fragile kid!"
He didn't seem to care about the anger in your voice, "Just because your kidnappers disregarded your safety does not mean that I will."
"I'm not gonna be kept locked up just because you think I'm some stupid-"
"Don't."
He had grabbed your chin, making you face him. It didn't hurt, but it was enough that you couldn't move it.
"Don't you dare act like you know anything. You were taken away from me, from your family. While they might've had a different life, this one is not easy. You can't fight, you don't know what we do."
He had started to lean towards you, his voice growing louder every word. Even when he was sitting down, he still towered over you.
"_____... I know that the change might be hard to get used to. But you don't understand how anything works here."
He picked up the bowl, and handed it to you. "However, if you believe that you can finish it, then go ahead."
You took the bowl, and set it down in your lap again. You glared down at it, trying to hide your anger. You already pissed him off enough, _____, don't do it again.
You ate the food quickly, and you had to admit, it was good food. Maybe it was just the fact that you hadn't eaten anything for almost a day, but the food made you want to eat more.
When you were done, he gently took the bowl from you, and handed you the glass of water. You drank half of it, before he took it from you, hearing a small chuckle. "I'm glad that you're finally hungry."
He slowly got up from the chair, and picked up the chair, bringing it back to the window and desk.
He walked back to your bedside, and leaned down. He kissed your forehead and held you for a moment, before he let you go. "If you need anything, Cassandra will be here shortly, she will lead you to your permanent quarters."
he looked down sadly, "I wish I could stay with you longer, but the League continues to intervene with us."
League? You wanted to ask him what he meant, but he was already walking to the door. He turned around, and gave you one last lingering look before he walked out, shutting the door.
There was the little click of the lock, and you were left alone. You sat up for a few minutes before you drank the rest of the water, and decided to finally get some sleep.
You didn't want to process anything. Not yet. That would come for later, along with figuring out what the hell was going on. Why did he just find you now? What League is he talking about? Who's your mom?
While you ignored the questions, you felt yourself being pulled to sleep again, and finally you felt yourself fall asleep.
~~~
ahhh I feel so good about this chapter! also, unrelated but I realize I should probably make my masterlists separate! so that is what I'll do! don't know when I will, but between tomorrow and next sunday! I love you guys so much!!
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shenashygans · 2 years ago
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THE SUNDAY CURRENTLY -16-
On a Friday. Yes. You read that right. A Sunday Currently post on a Friday. Bakit ba? Sinipag ako eh. Baka kasi sa Sunday tamarin ako. Talo nang maagap ang masipag. Lol. Or maybe I just have a lot of thoughts (that I'd probably won't write anyway) So I'll just start now. Another TSC by yours truly~
CURRENTLY
Reading
Closing Cycles by Paulo Coelho
Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person. Nothing is irreplaceable; a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because it no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.
Writing
A TSC post on a Friday. Because I have nothing to do. I was too early at work today. Too early to break the fast. Too sleepy to function.
Listening
Ben&Ben Radio (Spotify) and it's currently playing Pasilyo :)
Thinking
From the question, "sino kaya ang dulo ko?" and it just came to me last night. Na what if I am worth the journey, but I'm not the destination? Made me (over)think, I tell you that. But hey, I'm still worth something, eh? Alexa, play At The Beginning. Lol. Pero I'll stop myself there. Because I shouldn't be overthinking in the first place. I hate my scumbag brain sometimes \(._.)/
Smelling
Jo Malone - Nectarine Blossom, still
Wishing
I could've been there with her when she's going through some stuff. But I couldn't. I can't. I wanted to, really. And I wish she knew I'm sorry. And I'm going to make it up to her for the rest of my living days. Wish that it's easy to voice out what I feel instead of drowning them. Wish you know that you got this. That you have me to depend on. That I may not be there with you, but I can be there for you.
Wish we could've met sooner.
Hoping
I'd understand what I feel. It changes every now and then. Sometimes it's more. Sometimes it's not making sense. Sometimes it's not less, but just right. Sometimes it's all over the place. And sometimes it's all that I've got.
Wearing
my incomplete uniform lol
Loving
The weather today. Chill lang. Sa sobrang chill, hindi uminit ulo ko nung hindi kami pinasakay ng bus kaninang umaga. Lol
The fact that if you'd ask me a certain question about a certain someone, I'd probably answer it with contentment and assurance. If you ask me do I love you this much? I do ;)
Wanting
To be with you right now. I hate adulting. Ugh. PAANO BA YUMAMAN NANG WALANG GINAGAWA? Chos
Needing
To take a break in life. Like, taympers muna? Kapoy din ako eh. Pero feel ko wala akong karapatan magpahinga. Di tayo pwede mag-inarte. Ganern. I need to be strong for myself, and everyone else. I need to be the rational one here. But I need to pahuway din bala~
Feeling
Hungry right now. Might eat breakfast in a while. I feel like doing laundry when I get home, too. Meh~
I don't know if I'm making sense. I'm not??? Like, hello??? Sunday currently on a Friday???? HAHAHAHA such a Gemini thing to do ;)
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real-sun-wukong-fan01 · 2 years ago
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Woo!
so, some people might know me as @slime-sandwhich-nom , or some might know me as the Irish wukong and "not so visible friend" anon!
as said, in this account i would be talking mainly about my ideas and headcanons (also mainly centered on wukong, i have brain rot please spare me)
so! What am I gonna talk about today? About wukong's not so visible friend.
Who is it? I'll explain soon, but first check out @winterpower98 as i already explained it the sketch of the idea there!
and I'm writing this here because i don't wanna spam winter with my ideas lol (scusa amo)
so I'll just ramble here lmao
so, let's start!
Who's wukong friend? his mind.
i was thinking of the concept of "wukong's worst impulses and urges" from jttw, and since this idea originally got created by getting inspired by winter flower fruit mountain monkeys concept, macaque isn't the "not so visible friend"
So what did i do? I made it into literally being wukong's head.
again, check out winter account to understand better this headcanon/idea,
But anyway :
- wukong's friend has the same concept of imaginary friends and "angel and devil on your shoulder"
- it's literally wukong, but as a shadow, it's not evil or good, it's just wukong mind.
- depending on what wukong state of mind this shadow will think differently.
before jttw? Actually just those silly intrusive thoughts you can have, like eat dirt because why not. considering that winter made it that wukong was actually born as a 7-8 year old, i wouldn't be surprised if this shadow was more playful and childish.
during the havoc in heaven? just like wukong, it was running on recklessness and impulsiveness.
Giving ideas and quick shortcuts without thinking of the consequences.
During wukong 500 years under a mountain, both kind of got insane. Completely ignoring consequences, running on anger and impulsiveness.
During jttw? Just the wukong of the book, unlike before, wukong actually listens to his "inner mind" but as we see, the more it passes, the more he learns. Thanks to Tripitaka and everything. Listening less and less to his shadow.
the chapter about the macaque? Still exists, macaque still dies, but! also imagine wukong inner thoughts just growing "alive" like growing into another complete person and wukong has to kill them. the whole "fighting yourself" but it's literally. Instead than macaque pretending to be swk y'know?
After jttw? Both are pretty chill, i like to think that after that whole "fight" they both manage to take a break and figure themselves out to work together without problems (take it with wukong not being happy with himself, after figuring himself out, he manages to find peace with himself.)
Now, in the ask where i already explained a bit of this, i said how this "shadow" can be only seen by wukong and only him.
(unlike macaque shadow)
that's because it's like a metaphor or you talking to yourself, except in a form of shadow more than you thinking or talking alone,
wukong sees it exactly like when macaque talks to his shadow, but for the others it's like wukong is fucking crazy (and probably is.)
now, as this shadow is deadass wukong mind, it can happened that they don't get along, or that the mind hurts wukong (mentally of course)
And how? with mental illnesses. It's never intentionally, it just happens.
It's just how we work, we can have depression, we can have ADHD, autism, it all can happen, (some since you were born, some can grow over the years ect.)
but for wukong it's like if his shadow was insulting him, or distracting him (depending on what he has.)
Literally just imagine it like if you have yourself with you all the time and isn't afraid to hide their problems or struggles with it, they just vibe, because who cares, WE are the one who struggle with things anyway.
you see where I'm going? I'm bad at explaining sorry
but yes, this is the whole concept, use it if you want, everyone is free to take this headcanon,
Ask questions about it, put some more ideas!
I just wanted to share lol
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imagineflurry · 3 years ago
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(Hiya! Nothing to be afraid of here, just a good old pinned post with basic info.)
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welcome to my funky little writing blog!
I am Mint, and I love- Well, writing! I'm usually most active as a roleplayer, but thanks to some self reflection, I've sorta decided to give something a bit more... idk, easier to freestyle and more flexible to focus on right now instead. I still lurk around on old rp blogs, but I wanna try doing something more relaxed, even if just for the sake of my own sanity lol. I want to keep improving, telling stories, and sharing them with others, so yeah. We're doing this shit now as well. Deal!
What I'll be doing on this particular blog is basically shorter, character, or similar inspired writing requests. These will not be full, mile-long marathon fanfics. I am going to do headcanons, oneshots, and drabbles for requested characters, done accordingly to any sender's wishes- but ONLY AS LONG, AS MY BOUNDARIES AND RULES ARE BEING FOLLOWED.
I know, the capitals make that sound a bit intimidating, but! I promise, I do not bite or eat children. I just want to make my point very clear straight off the bat. I may appear snappy due to having lots of experience, having seen loads of shit. This is not anybody's fault, but it totally has shaped me into who I am here now.
FANDOMS I AM FAMILIAR WITH /CAN WRITE FOR:
Friday Night Funkin' (plus *some mods)
Helluva Boss
Villainous
Lego Ninjago
Unikitty
Deltarune
Undertale (some aus included!)
(yes, in case it wasn't made clear by it, Im a cartoon enthusiast with issues lol. I'm very aware of how short this list is, but am also equally aware of my trash memory. I might have forgotten some! If what interests you is not on the list, don't feel ashamed to ask me about it.)
Mao Mao Heroes of Pure heart
Five Nights At Freddy's (most probably Security Breach, but I am familiar with the previous games to an extent too :) )
CAN DO: Platonic, Familial, Romantic, Self/OC inserts or ships, AND amateur edits or icons! these, can feature a FAR broader range of characters/sources, as long as theres visual for me to use of it.)
WON'T DO: Requests about OCs that the sender can't confirm are their own, high explicit sm*t with no consultation
*(No minor characters will feature in any category above platonic.)
**(Things MIGHT get a bit suggestive/mature for some ships aka requests, but I have my limits. Nothing explicit will be shown on this blog. Implied at best.)
Call me Mint, I use any pronouns, I have loads of issues that may make me take unexpected breaks, I am an aroace and trying my best. I struggle with reading tones sometimes and would appreciate if requesters could use tone indicators when speaking with me, and try to be as clear and to be point as possible so we can avoid any unfortunate mistakes.
The DNI/Rules are pretty basic, honest. I tend to just block any nasties on sight as soon as I've sniffed them out, but I may fail to notice them sometimes. @ you all are free to let me know if I have been interacting with a bad egg. /gen
PLEASE never rush me, I hate having to block people for silly shit like that!! You're FREE TO CHECK IF YOUR ASK WAS RECEIVED, But RUSHING isn't.
"CAN I CHECK UP ON MY REQUEST?"
YOU CAN! If it has been a WEEK since you've requested, you can send me an ask, anon or not, OR a direct message, that must contain the following: Hello! Have you received my request? It was: [insert description of said request here]
*It is important to add the descriptions of your requests in these little "nudge" messages because there is always the possibility that tumblr's eaten your ask.
AAAND-- That's the end! thank you for reading this far! Boosts are appreciated, and I wouldn't mind you leaving a like on this post as sign that you've read it.
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behind-the-hood · 3 years ago
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Hey babes, been a while, huh? So, I've been thinking about how I want to get back into the flow of things, and with that came my update on what all's been going on. And it's a lot. So I'm going to hit the big points and my pets, because they are my babies ❤
So, I got divorced, which was great. He's stolen my half of our last tax return he was required by our divorce agreement to give to me, and kept my stimulus checks, which is not great, and I will be taking him to court when my lawyer says the system isn't as slow as a snail on glue.
I've got myself a new boyfriend. He's...the best thing ever ❤ I don't wanna get too mushy on you guys, but imma marry that man ❤ We've been together for over a year now, and in that time we actually lost his mom...and that one still hurts me. She...didn't die in a pleasant way, and I hate that she won't get to see us get married or see her first grandbaby or any of the things she was so excited to see and do...😞
On a less depressing note, I got a lot of new pets. I got a job at the vet, and day four into my job, a couple of big ol' king shepherds came in; they were strays. (I theorize they came from a puppy mill.) Anyway, I adopted the female, and the male was sent to a shelter for german shepherds. Korra, that's what I named her, started getting fat not too long into my owning her. Or so I thought. A couple months later, I went from owning one dog to owning eleven. She had been pregnant and we were in major denial, lol. Anyway, the birth went well, all the babies were healthy, even the runt was doing good at first. She didn't end up making it, she was half the size of the others and some time into the second day, she stopped eating. Korra was sad when her baby died, but after about ten minutes of leaning over the runt protectively, she let me take her. I don't know if her instincts said it was best for the other puppies or what, but she eventually let it happen. After the eight weeks were up, and with the help of my childhood friend, we got all the puppies new homes. I kept one, named him Mikey. She and her parents kept a couple. She named her puppy Fonzie, and her parents named theirs Butch. All three get to go to the park on Sundays and play together. Korra doesn't go too often because she's protective of Mikey and we're working on that, but for now, she's too aggressive and by no means a small dog, so baby steps.
Edit: Captain passed away in November. It was particularly upsetting to me because he was sick before I left for Arizona for a few weeks, and I wasn't going to go if I thought he wasn't going to make it, but everyone insisted he'd be okay and that I should go. He didn't make it, and I hate that I didn't get to say goodbye...but he passed in his sleep at the vet, and he was on medication that kept most of his pain at bay...and that's probably all I could ask for...because they had called the day before asking if we wanted to have him put down, and we never got to make that decision...I feel like it was better that way...it always hurts more to have to put them down...Edit over.
My boyfriend and I also got a kitten. It's cute; he's never really had a pet of his own before and he's super excited about it. I wish I could describe to you the wonder and amazement on his face when he saw Victor use his litter box for the first time 😂 He just picked right up on it, and my boyfriend was so proud 🥰How we came about getting Victor is a little bit more depressing. Or stressful. I don't know; I'll tell you what happened and you can decided. His mom had a few cats, and Big Girl was pregnant. She had four little babies, one of them being Victor. I kept making jokes about wanting to keep him, but my boyfriend and mom were both adamant that I had more than enough pets--which is fair because I do, lol--anyway, they were hitting about seven or eight weeks old when my boyfriend and I were leaving one morning. He was taking me home before he went to work. He turned on the car and we heard a blood curdling screech from in the hood. I panicked and got out just in time to see a kitten run out from under the car dragging its front paw and trying to get away. I caught him and started panicking and crying because his paw was bleeding and I could see bone and I was just in a frenzie. My boyfriend had to get to work though--sometimes his work ethics are cute, sometimes they are frustrating 🙃--so I called my mom on the way to my house and told her what all had transpired and to have a crate ready because we were going to the vet. She called the vet to let them know ahead of time and when we got there, Victor was immediately taken back and examined. Long story short, the belt in the car had cut through two of his finger bones but the rest of the cut was superficial. They decided he would need surgery and sutures. We agreed, we paid, we prayed he lived through the surgery, and then we waited. Good news is that Sweet Baby lived, he barely had a limp despite almost losing his paw, he hated his sutures, and now he runs around and plays with Theo like nothing ever happened, lol. And my boyfriend just adores Victor, and it's very cute 🥰
Anyway, I couldn't stay at the vet because I kept getting sick and breaking out in hives and, turns out, I'm allergic to nearly everything under the sun except for foods and lizards 🙃 I decided to go into real estate like my mom instead, and I just finished up all my classes and am ready to go into the thick of it!! Wish me luck in that endeavor 😁👍
So anyway, I can't think of anything else at the moment. That's my life update--Oh! I got covid from my mom. My quarantine ended literally two days ago, but I only had a cough. That being said, I've been suffering from a sinus infection for well over a month now, and got my period in the middle of it all, so that was awful 🙃 But! All of this is to tell you that I'm hoping to get back into my writing soon, and can present you guys with all the things I never got to finish or would totally love to start!! 😁
There's no set date on when I think I'll have anything ready, but I'm hoping over the next month or so, I can put out the third part of the Papa Makedon series out. I also hope over the course of the week I can start looking at all the asks I'm sure tumblr never told me I had 🙃
Love you, babes!! I hope you all have kept safe and healthy, and I hope to get back with you soon 😁🤙
---
Here's my sweet girl Korra with all her babies. I believe they were about a couple days old at that point.
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And here's my Mikey, as a wee one and as a big boy ❤ He's turning one on August 3rd you guys~ 🥰
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And here's little Victor (please excuse the food on his nose, I thought it was adorable, lol. I've just mostly got videos of him, and not too many pictures 😅)
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reluctant-fan-girl · 4 years ago
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My thoughts on 139 as an Ereri shipper
Buckle up for a long read and some unpopular opinions haha. Feel free to add on/ correct me but this is only how I feel so take it with a pinch of salt, I'm not asking anyone to change how they feel because we're all feeling some feels right now and your grief is valid. I just really wanna talk about the chapter before I go back to my Yaoi ship. (Forgive my grammar errors and all I wrote this at 5am and I'll probably come back and fix the spelling and stuff later today)
Thoughts on ch 139:
Well... here we are guys. The last chapter, it's been one hell of a ride and even though I have only been a part of the community for three years I'm still sad it ended. (Not to mention it finished 4 days before my birthday but that's just an extra oof) I keep seeing a lot of Mikasa hate and even though I used to despise her this chapter really got me thinking and damn, she's definitely one of the strongest characters (second to Levi at least in terms of resolve but hey I'm biased lol) she killed the person she loved, who pushed her away time and time again, and until the very end wanted to save him yet she was the one who ended it all. I doubt I could do that if my girlfriend was doing something similar... but I guess most people are like that. I admit, when I read the chapter at work I began crying in the break room, not because the ending caught me off guard, it was about what I was expecting, but I'm still sad Eren died. All this stuff was foreshadowed through especially the last few chapters and I kind of hopped into the manga around when Zeke blew Levi up, and even then... I feel like I knew this would be how it turned out some time last year? It was mostly predictable since this story, from it's inception, has done nothing but break the shonen stereotype time and time again and this was just the kind of ending that would shatter the mould and make it worthy of that moniker. Now am I happy that Eremika is canon? Not really, in fact not at all I'm mad. Although tbh it's not that I really expected a same sex, age gap relationship to be canon in mainstream manga, but this is what fan fiction is made for right? Besides as much as this manga has challenged or straight up ignored it's very obvious what the intended ship was going to be from the start. Even still the confession at the end by Eren is honestly OOC from most of everything else he's said/done and feels forced but, 🤷🏻‍♀️ like... the ending would have been better if Eren's feelings stayed vague so we could come to our own conclusion. If I had my way I'd have Eren confessing to Levi and they'd run off to live in secret but again... that isn't how it ended and I'm accepting that even if I don't like it. (Plus I can read/write a fanfic of a 'better' ending to make myself feel better) but I'm glad I stuck around for such a bitter sweet end.
Eren's character:
Now I love Eren as much as anyone else, but I see lots of people crying "character assassination" and I feel this personally isnt true at least not completely. We're all grieving right now and I know he was so cute and lovable at the start (hell in a way he still is) but this has always been his character. He is the one who most desperately yearns for freedom because feels trapped by his fate more than anyone else. The line "I felt like I had to and I let myself get caught up in the flow" is proof he *knows* he isn't free despite his father's reassurance, and his own repetition of the phrase. There's a common phenomenon with mantras or the practice of repeating something over and over in your head, the more you say it, *the less you believe it* and IMHO Eren never really felt free from the start. He knew his fate was sealed and he probably could have, no... *should* have acted differently yet he himself couldn't change what fate had in store. He just kept moving forward for no other reason than he wanted to save Mikasa, Armin, and his people. He (may have?) sacrificed Carla, not to serve as motivation, but so that he could save Armin later on by eating the Colossal titan instead of burning to death. It must have been a heart wrenching choice to make but he cares for his friends more than anyone else. He gave them a fighting chance and his death gave the alliance a good name so the world (or the 20% left of it) would see they aren't the same as him. Of course I'm thinking, "What if he had Dina free Carla or just let her eat Bert I mean Grisha probably would have passed on the Attack titan to Eren even if Carla had lived," but Armin very well could've died in another way or things could've turned out so much worse for everyone else. But even if Eren hates his choice I think something to note here is he doesn't seem to regret it, taking some of Levi's advice with him to the grave (quite literally) Plus you guys have to remember he died at 19 years old, that is *young* and I may only be a few years older but 18-21 is a huge period of change and you wont make the best choices, he's dealing with all that on top of the memories of the other titan holders, and the founding titan which I think really messed with him more than anything. He even says he only wants to live 10 more years ;-; the poor thing deserved a full life too even if his perception of time is warped and he never got a chance to become an adult.
The aftermath:
Well, everyone seems happy for the most part which is great! The one thing that I didn't expect was for the ending to be bitter sweet rather than total annihilation. Historia really does seem... fuck it I don't know and this is the part that bugs me most is she never really got the ending she deserved and felt kinda... forgotten? It's hard to tell but I think she ended up loving her child in the end... maybe... she's smiling while holding her... right? Levi is out beyond the walls and he may be wheelchair bound and half blind but he's still alive! Now this is honestly my saving grace here I mean god imagine him surviving a literal bomb only to die such a lame and pointless death in the last chapter. My boy made it through everything though and he's still got them dad vibes with Gabi and Falco which is kinds sweet... but I still hate Gabi. I still really hate Gabi, but it's nice to see that they're all somewhat okay. (Plus okay... Eren Canonically being reborn as a bird is kinda hilarious yet fitting since he got his freedom... Parasitic Jaeger haha good one Isayama.) Who knows if the war will ever end, heck Isayama himself said this is only the begining and while the fight goes on they have a chance thanks to Eren sacrificing himself the way he did. He could've made so many other choices and I don't know what could've/would've been better. Maybe Isayama knows but time travel and altering the past opens a whole ass can of worms that is just... like the killing your grandpa paradox kinda thing and if I were writing this story I wouldn't wanna try and deal with that either, especially after writing one story for eleven years.
(LEVI LIVED MY BEST BOI LIVED WHOOOO YESS 😭😭😭 ALL I COULD ASK FOR AHHH) *cough* sorry I had some crying fan girl in me that demanded to be seen too
Anyways this was just my thoughts for now, I may eventually write more and hell I'll probably go back to sweet sweet denial myself, posting contradictions because dammit I love my ereri too much and some people have good points or some posts are just funny in general. Have a good day, stay safe, and we are all in this together <3 Thanks for reading all the way if you did! (And here's a good meme to lighten the mood too)
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retvenkos · 4 years ago
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Congrats on 2.5k!! You're an amazing artist, and have no idea on how many times I've read your fics 😂 even tho I'm kinda shy to comment... sorry, I'll try to work on that 😅 Can I get a 🔥 for Narnia, Newsies and Harry Potter Next-Generation?
I'm a straight girl, INFP, Hufflepuff, Daughter of Athena (in Percy Jackson universe 😂). I really like to read, and watch movies or TV series, theater or... anything that tells a story, I really don't care about the media as long as they have a good story to tell. I also really like writing, I really write a lot about what I think, or some poems, or even have tried writing songs, but I have no music knowledge so... lol. I really love music, I've loved music since I can remember, and I'm currently trying to learn how to play guitar.
To me, the most important thing that I have are my friends, I appreciate them more that anything in this life and would give my life for them. But I'm not an affectionate person, it's kind of rare when I'm openly about how much I love them, and only with real close friends I tell them a little more often how much they mean to me, and I'm not really into physical touch either, just with really close people.
I love long talks where I can talk about... anything. I have so many thoughts about so many things, and I'd really like to share them with someone, and that person to tell me what they think too. I'm open minded, and if someone doesn't agree with me it's ok, but I really like to debate and be able to see everyone's point of view.
I don't tend to say when I'm feeling down, and I'm kind of good at hiding it, (I hide my feelings with humor lol) so... I have to be really sad to let people know about it (and just really close ones). I don't feel comfortable letting other people know when I'm not feeling well, and even if they know it's still rare that they could help me so... I just feel with it on my own (even tho it would be nice to have someone there sometimes). On the contrary, I'm always there to help everyone. Most my friends come to me for advice and I help them the best I can. So... I'm kind of the therapist friend that no one check how is doing lol
You could say I'm kind of a geek? Nerd? Whatever xD but I like to have fun (like... it's easier to get out of trouble when you're one of the "good kids" in class 👀 I still follow most of the rules tho, just know how to have my ways sometimes). I'm kind of the stereotype for Ravenclaw, but I'm a Hufflepuff xD so yeah... I really like music, and musical theater, and lots of reading. Love to spend time with my friends, but really enjoy time with myself. I spend most of my day daydreaming, and don't like to follow rules lol (But I'm the voice of reason with my friends. I don't like rules, but follow them... if it's necessary) . I hate people who are selfish, or that don't care about others. Also hate people who manipulate others or that get into "friendships" just to get something out of it (those are fake friends so).
So... yeah, that's it. I'm sorry if it's a lot, and no problem if you can't do it 😅 (also, I would love some rivals-to-lovers? If it's possible). Really love your work 💕
Pd. Sorry for my bad English 😅
HP Next Gen:
I ship you with James Sirius Potter!
so first of all, james sirius is one of those dorky jocks who is made up of lame jokes, poorly timed finger-guns, an inexplicable talent in school (despite rarely studying), and persuasion skills that somehow work on even the strictest of teachers.
it is from this that the rivalry between you is born. james sirius potter doesn’t have to do anything! he can run a hand through his god awful hair, give a teacher a grin, and his entire year is set. he can skip lessons for quidditch, where you get extra work when you were sick with dragon pox! it’s not fair that james sirius potter gets to waltz through this school like he’s all that, and the rest of you have to suffer.
at first, the rivalry wasn’t that bad, you just rolled your eyes in class whenever his obnoxious “thanks, professor” was heard over the din, or whenever you went to quidditch matches and he showed off on his broom, instead of doing his job as seeker (at which he was pretty good, not that you’d admit it).
BUT THEN,,,,, you become herbology partners, and things get bad. fast.
you get that harry potter is friends with neville but really? neville, head of gryffindor house, the most just of gryffindors, is letting james sirius potter leave class 20 minutes early because he has quidditch practice? practice that, mind you, doesn’t start until AFTER class has ended? your professor leaves you to do the work of two people all on your own because james sirius potter said it was cool that neville cut the head off of nagini? come on! everyone says that!
so you end up having to do extra work, which leaves less time for your other classes, and you have to do it in herbology - a class that has the potential to be deadly when difficult. 
it’s not a week until you march up to gryffindor tower (which is a pain on the legs, especially since your common room is in the basement) and wait for james sirius to show his sorry face. he doesn’t come down until lunch time, and then you have to follow him down to the great hall, because he “didn’t have breakfast” and he needs to eat “for quidditch.” it’s annoying, and yet he’s smiling the whole time?
you tell him he can’t leave class early - you almost had your finger bitten off the other day because no one else was there to hold down the plant while you tried to pick off it’s petals.
he says he can’t, but he’ll do your essays or whatever. “that’s plagiarism, you realize that?” “alright, then i’ll give you my notes.” “you don’t take notes.” “then i’ll start.”
and this is clearly going nowhere, so you sigh and leave.
it’s probably not even two weeks later when you are going to neville. he’s the head of gryffindor house and the one who made this arrangement. can’t he do something? the professor tells you that he chose you to team up with james sirius because he knows you can handle it on your own - and then he gave you some lame excuse about why james sirius needed the extra time, something about him about to be promoted to team captain at the end of the year or whatever.
and next class, for the little time that james sirius is working with you, he teases you about how you went to the professor. it annoys you to no end.
about a week later, you come down with a cold - madam pomfrey says a lot of it is due to stress, and while she gives you a potion to help you out, your still sick for two days. the day you get better, it’s the weekend and you get up early with the plan to get to the teachers before the quidditch game starts and ask beg them for less homework, or at the very least pick up what you missed. it’s early - almost everyone is still asleep, and when you walk out of the common room, you see..... james sirius potter? he asks if you’re alright - he heard you were sick for a couple days. you’re a little too tired for this, so you just answer his questions, no complaining. he then hands you a stack of parchment. “what is this?” “notes, for the classes you missed.” “oh.” “and i know how you feel about the rules, so i didn’t actually write you a herbology essay, but i did give you a good outline.” “oh.... thanks.” “’course.” and he gives you one of his awkward smiles and a solitary finger gun. you roll your eyes, but wish him luck in the game. he’s a little shocked, but you say it’s against ravenclaw, and their egos need to be taken down a peg.
and from there you are a little softer toward james sirius, but he’s still annoying as hell.
i have a very vivid idea of you having gone to a quidditch game, and gryffindor, of course, won. you decide to wait in the stands until everyone clears out, because it’s easier that way, and you want to finish your popcorn, anyway. james sirius has lingered on the pitch with the current quidditch captain, and when he sees that you’re one of the few still lingering, he goes up to meet you. he sits down next to you and steals a bit of you popcorn, which makes you roll your eyes, and he says something like “i didn’t expect you to wait for me.” “i wasn’t.” “sure.” and the two of you sit there for a moment, james coming down from the high of winning, sharing the remnants of your popcorn. it starts to drizzle and james uses his wand to make an umbrella, and the two of you start up a conversation about whatever - definitely not school related, and not even quidditch related, just something out of the blue. it’s not until all of the popcorn is gone and it’s raining in earnest that the two of you walk to the castle, james laughing at his own jokes and you smiling despite yourself.
i also imagine that, when the two of you become better friends, james sirius has a quidditch accident where he maybe breaks his arm or something. you get to go into mom mode, and james sirius teases you, saying that he “didn’t know you cared.” and it’s reminiscent of the dialogue above, but instead of denying it, you say “of course i do, you idiot.”
alright i went off (and now i want to write a fic about this) but i think the two of you would be really cute together because james sirius would love to talk with you about everything. he has a whole lot of siblings, and as the oldest is great at keeping conversation and he’s also actually really good at reading a room, despite what he may pretend. he would know when you’re feeling bad, and he’s also really good at accurately finding your insecurities and then boosting your self-esteem in exact ways.
and i also think that you and james sirius are music enthusiasts. if you are a pureblood, he introduces you to the wonders of muggle music, and if you are a half-blood or muggle born, you bond over your favorite muggle artists.
also, i have this headcanon that james sirius learns the guitar so he can be a certified heartthrob™ and no doubt he got the idea from you - you were in the hufflepuff common room just messing around, and he notices your guitar. maybe you learn together?
and while james sirius isn’t much of a reader, he loves movies more than anything else, so the two of you definitely have marathons.
Narnia:
I ship you with Peter Pevensie!
alright, the two of you would have the sweetest, most supportive relationship I’ve ever had the pleasure of writing
this one is a certified friends to lovers because from day one, the two of you get along really well together. even though peter is a little more extroverted, he’s the older brother and has a lot of introverted tendencies because he’s tired™
there is nothing that peter would love more than going on a walk through the gardens with you, talking about your interests - he likes to steer the topics to what you like to do because (1) he likes the way your eyes light up when you talk about what you love, and (2) he is tired of talking about himself. as king, he’s only ever talking about the problems he’s facing, or big problems that cover all of narnia. the smaller interests you have are his respite, his chance to have a bit of normalcy, as a high king.
you are also both hufflepuffs, so you’re fiercely loyal to those you love, and you’re both hard workers - stopping at nothing to do what needs to be done. you are both there to bolster the other in their efforts, but also get them to relax at the end of the day, since caring as much as you do and working as much as you do is the definition of exhausting.
you’re also the parent couple! we have peter, the dad friend (complete with the worst dad jokes you have ever heard. they’re even worse when they’re “king” jokes which are like dad jokes 2.0) and you, the mom friend! together, you make sure that your friends (and subjects) are well taken care of. and you act like stand in parents for edmund and lucy, which is not only exhausting but rewarding.
now, even though peter is a very affectionate person, more than that he’s thoughtful and the moment he realizes you don’t like that, he’ll stop. he’s more than happy to just be near you - reading books or pouring over documents with your input (because he definitely gets your input on issues of state). 
he also becomes big on getting you flowers or making you food (because headcanon that peter learns to cook in the cair paravel kitchens!). peter just has a lot of feelings, and as long as he has a way to express them, he’s good. 
he loves it when you give him praise, so whenever the two of you are stargazing and you compliment him, he blushes deeply. use this power wisely, because he will blush a deep red, and it’s a little awkward when he’s the definition of heart eyes in the middle of a privy council.
Newsies:
I ship you with Crutchie!
alright, so you and crutchie are, once again, a really sweet couple.
crutchie loves your way with words - you have a tiny notebook that he got you as a present, one year, and you are constantly writing poetry in them. you will often show him your work, and he’s astounded with your level of craftsmanship. he’s told you on multiple occasions that you should write one of those poetry books that he sees well-to-do men buy for those they love, and you get al bashful, one of his favorite looks.
also, both of you are dreamers. you definitely have lots of talks together, usually when you’re doing something absent minded like mending clothes or selling on the same corner, and you talk at length about what you want for this world, and what you hope to do in it. crutchie has a big imagination, and so do you. sometimes, the two of you see who can make up the best, most random story.
also! in a high school! au the two of you are the sweetest, most unsuspecting rule breakers ever. i mean, you’re friends with race and albert, after all, there has to be a chaotic streak in you somewhere. everyone is genuinely surprised when they realize that you and crutchie have snuck out of class and pulled the fire alarm before.
the two of you are also big readers. i imagine that crutchie likes mystery novels a lot. idk why, exactly, but he loves sherlock holmes, so the two of you not only read books together, but rate the different versions of sherlock holmes adaptations. (modern! au, of course, unless benedict cumberbatch is making tv series in 1899)
you debate over which of you is watson and which one of you is holmes. you’re both really smart, so it’s hard to say which one of you gets sherlock rights.
also, both of you are really good at hiding when you are hurting or in pain. and yet, both of you are also really good at spotting it in the other, seeing as you know the tells of hiding. i think you are both really empathetic and would be good with each other - leaning on each other when necessary and always being attentive of the other. all around, you’re a great match.
also, in a modern! au crutchie would love the percy jackson series. the two of you would riot over the terrible live-action movie and be very excited when the disney+ series comes out (here’s to hoping they don’t botch it)
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sleepyxdarling · 5 years ago
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Yandere bois part one!
Let's meet my boys! I will probably write about them so it's best to get introductions out of them way yeah?
You can ask them questions..or request stuff for them if you even care lol
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Yoshi, 19
Is a college student studying psychology
He manipulates his darling by crushing their self-esteem and makes them question everything
"no one is actually your real friend except me..they all hate you..I'm the only one who you can trust"
He likes to keep his darling fragile and weak
Is very blunt and cold
"you look weird today..all the guys are looking at you funny"
Will try to control his darling
"if you don't wear what I pick out for you then you are going to look ever grosser than normal"
"I'm the only one that can walk you home..do you want to get stabbed?"
"don't accept food from no one else.. I'll cook for you. They are calling you fat by giving it to you"
Is always making darling question her choices
"are you sure that was the right thing to do?"
"hmm..that wasn't very smart of you"
"do you want to be laughed at?"
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If his plan works then he is very cocky and a tease while often degrading them
"whose a good little freak? You are!"
Very possessive
Adores talking down to his darling
"you are just a cute little whore huh? You're basically begging me to touch you..well what if I say no?"
Sadistic af!
Now if his plan doesn't work..
"you're still not listening to me?! You're just a little whore huh?!"
Will kidnap his darling and give them intense torture
"I am the only one you should listen to!"
"God I can't believe I'm in love with you! Such a filthy girl/boy"
Is far more violent and rough with his methods of affection
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Suke, 18
Is a blind boy
His senses are on point though
He can smell that you ate a waffle for breakfast three hours ago
He can feel exactly what your clothes are made of
He can taste.. everything!
He is super quiet and polite
"hey [name]...do you want to go to the coffee shop?"
Comes from a poor family so he works at a cafe to get more money
His confession is very sweet
"[name]..you make my world of darkness full of light..please be mine"
If they say yes..cool! If not...
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"why...why are you being cruel..is it cause I can't see?"
Full on rips the bandage around his eyes off and grabs his darling by their shoulders while he's crying
"you...you are all I care about! Please!"
If they say no again..
"I see..then I can not let you leave.."
His method of kidnapping would be to strangle them then bring them home
His parents work two maybe three jobs so they are gone a lot
Will keep his darling in his room
"I love you..I love you so much"
Is constantly touching his Darling and smelling them
Will go to their house and bring back their clothes and other things to make them feel at home
When he's out at work he puts headphones on his darling and forces them to listen to a recording of his voice
He will also gag them and blindfold them along with typing them to his bed
When he has enough money saved up he will take his darling and move into a nice one bedroom house
Will get a better job and be able to take care of them better
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Shun,18
Baby boy!
Hyper and all around happy
Is a master at baking
Can legit make anything taste good
Is always happy to his darling and just clingy
"[naaaammmmeee]! I missed you! I super missed you!"
"I've been gone for 2minutes"
his darling will be his taste tester
"[name]! I made bonbons! Eat them for me!"
Is fawned over by other people but he isn't for it
"haha thanks for calling me cute..buuut..I'm totally in love with [name]!"
Legit does not care about being private about his feelings..if his darling rejected him..
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Will legit break down crying
"no..nonono...please no..you have to be my prince/princess!"
He will pull his darling into a hug and stab a needle into their back
He came very prepared
When they wake up they will be in an expensive penthouse
They are tied to a chair and shun is cooking for them
Will be super happy to have his darling there that he will ignore all questions they have
If they refuse to eat his food or act out in violence then he will not be happy
"why are you being so mean...I love you so much and you are being totally rude.."
He will be a lot more forceful but he will always say it's all for love
If they try to escape he will track them down and drag them back
He is delusional so he thinks his darling is just being rude cause they need to adjust to this life
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Ryo,22
He is a famous reporter
He usually gets interviews with celebrities
He is so fed up with celebrities and their stuck up ways
He is even more fed up with the fans
Will often get request from weird fans
"no..I can not get you jumin's hair..fucking weirdo"
His darling surprised him for sure
He didn't expect to fall in love
He will be more of a distant lover
Likes to take pictures of his darling both in secret and when they know it
"hey..I need to test out this new camera lens so be my model"
He is a Total lazy boy
Would rather lounge around instead of working
His confession will be more of a casual one
"[name]...date me."
If they say no..
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"all those cute celebrities get the one they want but I can't..? You are selfish"
Is the most insane out of the others
Will kidnap his darling by hitting them on the head and dragging them into his car
They wake up in a room with pictures of them all over the walls
Ryo is all over them
Touching them
Kissing them
"my sweet star.."
He Will take pictures of them while they are crying
If they behave he will give them more freedom
As punishments he will break their fingers or their legs
The quickest one to want sex
Will take photos while they do it
"you look so good.."
When he goes to work his darling will be tied up and an automatic camera will be placed infront of them
A huge pervert and likes to take panty shots of his darling
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deantrblandbananauyu · 6 years ago
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I had a dream: Deantrbl grew a beard!
Soooo I just had a dream last night and I'm glad I still remember some part of it which were probably the most epic parts of it and I would like to post it here and share with you guys because I want to remember this dream till the day I die hahaha jk (or maybe not lol)
Note: this will be like a fanfic or scenario kind of things and most of it don't make sense because again it is a dream and dreams don't usually make sense.
WARNING! I never write anything like this so if my story telling is confusing the excuse me lol. I'm not used to doing this kind of stuff I just want to share what I had in my dream last night (jan. 6, 2019) also I haven't had sleep so please try to understand if I have typos lol
Characters/real & unreal? people involved:
Dean( Deantrbl/deanfluenza/Kwon Hyuk)
Zico(Block B, Woo Jiho)
An old funky,adorable,kinda mischievous type of Granny (yep that's right there's an old lady involved)
Me(the dream is in my P.O.V.)
G.soul(in his red hair era) kinda the antagonist but not really
SimonD(but I'm not sure if it really is him or some other rapper..idk) kinda the antagonist's side kick lol
Ok so here it is...
****
I went in a room that seems like a basement mancave kinda dark and with neon lights around the room. As I walk in towards the couch I saw Dean sitting in a very comfortable way like he's chillin with his arms spread across the backrest of the couch and on the other couch beside it was Zico who was also chillin. But what shookt me the most was Dean, Kwon freakin Hyuk had a freakin BEARD!!! And it looked so good on him. (He actually looked soooooo hot and he was wearing a loose green t-shirt that exposes half of his arms and his neck and also his hair...omg his hair...he still had it in a man bun but the curls were much better. He had a cute twirt on the sides of his face like how he likes to have it haha and he bleached his hair again close to the roots and it was a bit lighter so he looked really cool and hot ajdjhadfgjdz.) And then suddenly I turned into a youtube viewer wherein I was watching that actually scene I saw few moments ago...and I was practically trying to screenshot every single angle dean has because that bearded Dean is a rare jewel (idk if he's ever gonna think of growing a beard lol) so I'm saving all that screenshots for my life. (Also I was low key waiting for my phone notifs of dean's fan accounts to pop up and see if they saw dean's new look but there weren't any) so I kinda felt a bit excited knowing I was one of the first to see him like that HAHAHA...
Then I got back to the actual scene (no longer a youtube viewer) and so I walked closer towards them then suddenly a pizza appeared on both of them and they were eating it exaggeratedly as if they're filming a pizza commercial (their expressions after eating the pizza are oscar worthy hahaha). And I was like whuuuuuut?! And I was just like watching them dunno if I'm suppose to praise them or laugh at them but they seem to be really proud of what their doing and wanted to hear some praises like lil dorky kids haha
Also the lil granny appeared out of nowhere sitting next to Dean and dean was now laying on the other couch (him amd zico kinda switch places) then the granny tried to lay beside dean as if wanting for a cuddle hahaha ( ok this might seem weird and all but in my dream it was kinda cute scene cause the granny had a cute innocemt vibe to her and everybody loves her but she kinda has a funny/naughty side to her but not in a cougar/slutty kinda way lol if u know what I'm sayin)
And so dean hugged her cutely from behind and I was supposed to feel jealous (as if I am dean's gf Ha! I wish it was real lol) but I was not jealous at all instead I kinda jokingly said it's ok granny I'll let you borrow deam for.a while hahaha
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Then the action kicks in!
Suddenly a guy break in the room through the window and was holding a gun pointing at our direction like those police trying to arrest people...and it was G.soul in his bright red hair then came in after him was I think SimonD or someone else and he was kinda out of the place and clueless but just follow what g.soul does haha
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Then I looked at the couch and saw zico holding armalites (like long guns..idk what it's called) and he was suddenly like in rambo mode with lots of gun hanging on to him then he handed out one to Dean and their like ready to fight but the it didn't feel dangerous or hostile and I was still like..whuuuuuuuuuut?! (Whut is happening?what are u guys doing? Is this for real? Should I fight too?) Then I shift my sight to Dean and he put the gun on the other side and grab something....He picked a granade and tried to take the pin out with his teeth but then he realized something. . .It wasn't an actual granade but a soft squishy one and he was like "whuuuuut the?" ~
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then he found out it was the granny's squishy toy that she use as a stress ball kinda and he handed it over to her while giggling then the granny was amused saying "my squishy! u found my squishy~" then she squeezed it on her cheeks while smiling and I was like...aweeee
Somewhere in the background the I can sense or hear the 3 guys intensely fighting (but don't worry I think nobody got injured or died and there were no gorey/bloody scenes)
And then my dream was cut cause I woke up
The End
Here's Dean with beard. I tried to mimic the actual look he has in my dream but can't find a nice angle I've seen a few pics of him showing that kind of vibe but his angles on the pic were not good to put a beard on (cuz I only used a beard app haha)
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He kinda look like a homeless guy here but trust me he looks so hot in my dream and it actually suits him haha
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Here's another one much cleaner looking lol
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Diary Entry #2:
Today's Date is Sunday Oct. 3rd, 2021. Current time: 11:00pm
Dear Diary and to anyone who reads this,
Today I woke up late again. Staying up late like this probably isn't good for me but I've been tossing and turning. I've been feeling a bit odd all week but overall okay. My biological mom has been really snippy with me for not cleaning the house as often because I'm supposed to clean everything pretty much. I'll get more into that situation later.
Today me and J watched my favorite musical, after he got back from work, we were gonna play in the switch but he didn't have the online membership so we ended up watching the movie instead. He really enjoyed the movie and I was glad, he liked the music and everything! J is so cool in all honesty, I accidentally ended up gushing about him to my friends...we'll call them Doll, and Madre. I'll get back to them too. I wanted to express quickly the dream that I had of J which I typed down this morning.
"I had a dream that me and J went to a a weird snowy "mountain" area (is was more like a glorified hill) but at the top theres tables where you can break and eat. I feel like I've had this dream before and I'm curious if its a real place but it was beautiful the white snow was shiny and the mountain was high enough you could see plenty of frozen water. We ate food together and looked at the view."
I really do dream to see these things with him sometimes but I don't wanna see overly obsessed with him so ill move forward. I think I might just be hyperfixated lol 😅
So tomorrow I will be hanging out with my "adoptive parents" which is just this millenial couple I met, I'm super excited because I haven't spoken with them in a long time and I miss checking up on them. My adoptive dad (AD) and adoptive mom (AM) are really cool! AD has his own art account and encourages my art, he likes to bully me but in a loving way which makes me really happy. He never really puts me down like my bio dad. And AM is so kind to me, she babies me a bit but not in an annoying way, she makes me feel like a special kid compared to my actual bio mom, which I wanted to speak more on. My bio mom today got snippy with me because she had to clean the living room, I've been dealing with a bad leg injury for a couple of days now and haven't been able to do much. She gets mad at me but won't get mad at my little brother who doesn't even do anything. I'm stuck being the maidboy of the house just because I live here. I'm not in work or school but I'm working to fix my mental health and she's not been very helpful. I know it could be worse and I could be back with my abusive bio dad but sometimes I feel underappreciated and like I can't do anything else but clean and that is all I'm good for.
I ranted about my mom and gushed about J to Doll and Madre and it was nice. Doll is super happy for me and I love her so much. J really wants to meet her as well which makes me super excited. I know Doll is super excited to meet him too. I'm still just a bit traumatized from bringing my ex into my friend group. I know it's not my fault and J isn't like that but I'm still getting used to this safe feeling I have with him. Doll showed me her new characters she rolled for in the game we play. Madre was super invested in her work but we watched a movie together today too! Madre's cousin came in and interrupted our movie halfway in, which was annoying, but I don't care enough about him to rant about it. The movie was really good and one of my current hyperfixations. We chatted for a bit and joked. I really missed talking to them; I also miss my best friend, GT (for Goliath twink). GT has been really busy with his boyfriend but its always fun talking to him. Hopefully I'll get to talk to him soon! I'm getting a bit tired now of writing so I'll finish this off with saying that from the last entry J seems to be doing better with his friend and they're hanging out tomorrow which is why I've got some time to myself tomorrow so I'm excited! That's all for now! See you tomorrow.
-JB
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fanfic-chan · 3 years ago
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Oooooh this looks so fun! ❤️ I just included all characters in this cause I ran out of answers but most of it's anime so I guess it's fine?^^`
A character you relate to personally: Mm, there are quite a few characters I relate to a lot, but I think for this I'ma say Asahi. I struggle a lot with anxiety and I have a terrible fear of disappointing people. It can even be crippling at times, but like Asahi, I'm working to overcome those obstacles and watching his progress throughout the series is something that's truly inspiring for me.
A character you simply cannot understand: Oikawa. Not in a bad way or anything, I still like him, I just think he's a very odd little man lol.
A character you learned life lessons from (This gets kinda long so skip if you want.): Gosh there are so many, it's hard to choose, so I'll just say the one who's probably had the biggest impact on me so far, and that's shockingly going to have to be Starlight Glimmer from MLP: Friendship is Magic. Back when I was still a tiny 15 year old Dessie, right after I had my stroke, I was terribly depressed and hurt after my two closest irl friends at the time stopped talking to me. I think now, seeing me in such a terrible state and wheelchair bound at the time, it must have been really scary for them and they likely just didn't know how to act around me, or what to say, so they avoided me. At the time though I took it really hard and became rather bitter about it. I isolated myself and after we moved and I recovered I outright refused to make anymore irl friends at all. Ever. It only made my depression worse obviously and if not for my dad being patient with me and talking me through it bit by bit I honestly don't know where I'd be. One thing I remember vividly though is that I was really into MLP back then and it was one of the few things that I truly found any joy in at the time. One day I was watching the show as I usually did and it revealed Starlight's backstory. At the time I'd really hated her character, but the further I got into the episode, I started to notice a lot of uncomfortable similarities between her and I. We'd both been hurt by people, and because of it we let our fear of being hurt again prevent us from creating new, better relationships, and instead we isolated ourselves and lashed out at anyone who attempted to convince us that what we were doing was unhealthy, both for us and those around us. By the end of that episode I was a complete wreck and I just sat there crying because it was the first time I'd ever really gotten a chance to see what I was doing. It wasn't long after that when I finally decided to let it go and forgive them, even if they never actually knew what they did, even if I never got an apology. It wasn't something that happened overnight, but nowadays I'm a lot happier and I don't feel that burden on me anymore. I still struggle with talking to people and making friends, but I'm getting there and it's definitely a lot easier now than it was. Funny how a pastel unicorn of all things was one of the breaking points though.
A character you liked at first but now dislike: Don't hate me for this, but I'm honestly not a huge fan of Xiangling from Genshin Impact. I liked her fine at first but after doing her story quest, idk, there's just something unsettling about how serious she sounded about eating Paimon. I get that the traveler makes the emergency food joke a lot but Xiangling just sounded a bit to sincere about it for my comfort. Sorry, but no one's eating my travel companion on my watch!
A character you disliked but now like: I think I'ma say Shigaraki from MHA on this one. He's not the type of character I like enough to write stories for, but learning about his backstory in the anime recently really helps me to understand him better. He's by no means even close to being in my favorites list, but I can atleast understand why he turned out the way he did and I appreciate him a lot more as a character because of it.
A character you'd like to cuddle and watch a movie with: Definitely Deku. I love analyzing movies and I feel like he'd be the type that wouldn't mind pausing Star Wars five million times to discuss the characters' trauma and how that affects their actions. We're both just little nerds that like to ramble on an on about deep topics and discuss theories. Who cares if it takes us 8 hours to finish the movie?
A character you'd love to have a tickle fight with: skhjgdhdkk idk maybe Yamaguchi cause he's like, the only character I think I'd have a slim chance of beating?? We'd probably both just get flustered though pffft 🤣🤦
A character you dislike but can't pinpoint why: I don't know why, but I just never really cared for Spinner or that one villain that died early on in MHA called.. either Magness or Magne, I think it was? Idk. I just found them to be kinda boring in comparison to the other villains like Toga, Compress, or Dabi for example. They just didn't leave a big impression on me for the most part I guess? They're ok just not in my list of favorites.
A character you like but can't pinpoint why: Stitch, from Lilo and Stitch. I'm freaking obsessed with him and idk why. Half my regular outfits are Stitch themed and it's not even on purpose it just happened. 乁( •_• )ㄏ
A character you were uncertain about at first but now like: Shockingly enough I was kinda iffy about Aizawa at first but I warmed up to him after a bit lol. It's funny cause he's one of my faves now. 😂
A character you disliked from day one and still dislike: Mineta. Don't hate him to the extent that some others do but still not a character I'm particularly fond of for obvious reasons. It'd be great if he got some redemption but being as he's mostly just there for comical relief character I doubt we're going to get a whole lot of that canonically.
A character you liked from day one and still like: Suga! I love how he's able to be chaotic and funny while still somehow keeping his team mom status. I think I also saw somewhere that some people see him as an INFJ like me so, personality buddies! :D
A character you want to be best friends with: I think when taking my reserved personality into consideration, maybe someone like either Bokuto from Haikyuu or possibly even Kirishima from MHA would be cool? I need to be adopted by a funny extrovert who can lead the conversation and keep the attention off of me. Bonus points for them being taller than me so I can hide behind them lol.
Your favorite character of all time: RazorRazorRazorRazorRaz-
Tagging: @duckymcdoorknob @cuteookielove33 @helloitsghost @otomiya-tickles @just-open-the-fridge-yo @veryblushyswitch @ventilicious @burningablaze and anyone else who wants to join!^^
Anime Characters Tag
This may have been done before, but the idea came to me and I really wanted to start my own tag game for a change so here we go! I see a lot of tag games about animes in general, but what if we got a little more specific?
~~~
A character you relate to personally: Reki (Sk8 the Infinity)
A character you simply cannot understand: Viktor (Fire Force) (don't get me wrong, I like the guy, but he's totally nuts and I cannot keep up with him XD)
A character you learned life lessons from: Chise (The Ancient Magus' Bride)
A character you liked at first but now dislike: Fujiwara (Kaguya-Sama: Love Is War)
A character you disliked at first but now like: Sousuke (Free!)
A character you’d love to cuddle and watch a movie with: Deku and Hinata (MHA and Haikyuu respectively)
A character you’d like to have a tickle fight with: Dekuuuu (MHA)
A character you dislike but can’t pinpoint why: Hatori (Sekaiichi Hatsukoi)
A character you like but can’t pinpoint why: Mei (Citrus)
A character you were uncertain about at first but now like: Noya (Haikyuu) (honestly I can't believe I was ever unsure about him because I fangirl over him so hard now)
A character you disliked from day one and still dislike: Tsukishima (Haikyuu)
A character you liked from day one and still like: Deku, Kageyama, and Hinata, and Shinra are the most prominent ones to come to mind (MHA, Haikyuu, and Fire Force respectively)
A character you want to be best friends with: Hinata (Haikyuu) (he's so energetic and encouraging over the tiniest things I mean how could I not want to be bffs with him?)
Your favorite character of all time: ABE ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 (Big Windup)
~~~
I'm tagging @veryblushyswitch, @giggly-squiggily, @skribblz, @simplysmilingdrew, and @vqler. Feel free to add other types of characters as you go if you think of more!
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