#I'll probably put it on my wall .
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hide – A Souvenir, 1994
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what is this. Anyway Found a ballpoint pent that works like a fineliner.
#i like it tbh I'll still put it on my wall#I like the filter but you can't see the grey#oh well idrc#rkgk#mother 3#claus mother 3#masked man mother 3#mildliners#mother 3 spoilers#probably#fanart#xsue's art#I miss my tablet so much#ill take it with me after christmas but even that seems so far away
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interconnected young númenórean OCs:
oruzîr: native of romenna from a faithful family, loosely associated with the brotherhood. he's taken when random people are being picked off the streets in Romenna in retaliation for a joint assassination attempt on Sauron and Ar-Pharazon (the loyalists are filtered out, of course, but he's very much not) and killed-slash-sacrificed. I am not giving any details but, uh, it's not pleasant by any means because of the whole "collective punishment and deterrent against treason" facet.
he also becomes the basis of a lot of númenórean/gondor-arnorian folklore about dead people appearing to their kin in dreams (together with gorlim from the first age probably) because he does. more than once, and all with namo's permission, he's just waiting for his best friend to arrive in the halls and there are those whose spirits can be raised by the appearance of someone who died well and is now a given value of okay.
angrod: yes, his parents chose a random name from the histories, next question; on a day to day basis he goes by something adunaic. taken on the same day as his best friend and for the same reasons, killed a few days after him. one of the people oru did talk to in dreams, they leave the halls together.
ireth: oru's cousin and other best friend, born and raised somewhere beyond romenna. her family moved to pelargir a few years before the other was killed, because the situation in númenor was getting too bad for their liking and that's probably how she survived everything that happened. also talks with oru in a dream, raises a symbolical grave for him in her garden which becomes something of a local curiosity/chapelet in later days. her letters regarding the post-mortem conversation are probably the best preserved account of the whole idea. childhood friend to several members of the brotherhood.
dirên: youth engaged to avalêzrê, very deep in illegal activities. he is killed while leading a fugitive "traitor" to the coast.
khamil: dirên's younger brother, raised by him after their parents passed on from illness, 14 at time of death. in the absence of a dirên to question he is unfortunately arrested by the king's men and brought to the temple where in dire circumstances he manages not to reveal the names of any of his brother's co-conspirators. I feel guilty for killing him off because lil bro is the same age and I realised that's actually a kid when I put the two together.
avalêzrê: she's the unofficial leader of a group in romenna that calls itself the brotherhood for lack of a better name and consists of several "full-time" and several looser affiliated members. their goals are non-military, they mostly occupy themselves with the collection of medical and financial support, preservation of art and culture, as well as passing on messages for whoever among the faithful might have need such service.
tirithon: core member of the brotherhood. taken by sauron, he is unable to keep many of the others secret under interrogation. sacrificed soon after.
azgabar: friend of tirithon betrayed by him. he holds no grudge and forgives him in the halls before they go on.
azrathel: sole survivor of the brotherhood, former neighbour of oruzîr and angrod. she meets and becomes a friend of ireth after the downfall.
súrion: an acquaintance/loose friend of azrathel and one of the people who came up with the assassination plot. if he ever learns about the azrathel-ireth-oruzir connection it's going to be awkward, especially as he's probably going to meet ireth someday. ("your cousin kinda died instead of me, and tbh neither of us should have died but uh if anyone here committed treason it was not him and maybe I should have predicted the outcome")
#this probably pins the speaker of my last númenor fanfic as azrathel really#also idk if I'll be able to write anything more for them cause uh. I declined to share anything about oru's manner of death#but I did come up with something and now I can't unsee it when I think about him#and I can't really say 'no that's not what happened' either because sauron very much WOULD do that#also this is why i say I'd prefer to live under hitler than pharazon; when the nazis did retribution they at least put people to the wall#(also yeah I know they did worse things too AND it's me coming up with the Númenor stuff mostly#but in my defense antiquity-ish despots were big on gruesomeness)#tw human sacrifice#tw death#tw implied torture#tw child death#<- writing about númenor comes with a ridiculous number of these thought the above are the ones I use most often#*sighs*#oruzîr#angrod of romenna#ireth#dirên#khamil#(have I given the youngest of the victims a name that is one letter off from the name of my brother who died in childhood... yeah it seems.#maybe I'll change it because this is awkward)#avalêzrê#tirithon#azgabar#azrathel#súrion#númenor#my post#Silmarillion#silm
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no ones ever gonna understand how much i love daigo doin this stupid shit after dissolving the tojo
#snap chats#is this a gaiden spoiler. its been like five months catch up you nerds#ANYWAYYYYY NOO I LOVE HIM ....... this whole bit is like four seconds long but i love it so much#i just reminded myself i should probably make gaiden/y8 videos for daigo.. i'll make it a JP/ENG comp or somethn.. one day#not soon tho like its barely anything since he's not in those games Long At All but still. im lazy 💀#excuse me while i gush about daigo for twenty minutes now because hehee HE'S SO CUTE I CAN'T GET OVER IT#this is literally the middle aged equivalent of going yippee like YOU CAN TELL HE'S SO RELIEVED IT'S SO CUTE#got the energy of a student with crippling anxiety after they somehow get through giving a presentation without throwing up#AND his lil smile ......... thank you gaiden you made me wanna eat drywall with daigo's sad puppy dog eyes about kiryu#and then immediately made up for it a minute later#sorry i keep scrolling up to look at him and i love him so much. what if i threw up#i dont like using babygirl lightly but this is actually the most Babygirl frame of him ever ive decided#thats my boy .... i love my boy so much ..... he's so cute ... come so far in life congratulations king ..... ily ...#him lookin up at the sky for a minute just to breathe i know he thankin god for the fact he somehow isnt dead yet#im gonna ignore the fact all of this was for naught so i dont bash my head against a wall anyway stan daigo#im gonna be sick i love him so much#if i redraw this later shut up. i love him...#this is why i try not to look at cutscenes anymore cause when i do i feel my brain being put in a microwave and start to melt#its not my fault i love my guys so much .... ok bye i have work to do ....#and then when i finish that work i can go back to loving my guys YAAAAAY !!!!!!!
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as a former twitter lurker i can confidently say the deterioration of the fandom fourth wall is at least 70% kpop twitter's fault
#i'm probably not going to be able to capture all the nuances of this convo but i'll do my best#for example a lot of the engagement tactics social media admins use now originate from how brands would interact with kpop twit#also like. rpf / ship culture is a PART of kpop and kpop fandom#(as in the companies behind these artists are known to push certain pairs or push certain interaction etc)#but people have taken what's acceptable in kpop fandom and brought it over#into other fandoms where those rules DO NOT APPLY#and as that behaviour becomes more common people become more comfortable rpf-ing where your average non-rpfer can see#and then before you know it fucking jesse jfresh is mentioning sidgeno fanfic in his official blog post#put the fourth wall back i swear to GOD#m speaks
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Got my Zane/Wake charm from Vograce today! I'm not obsessed with it, so I probably won't be going through with making more.
(1st taken in fluorescent light, 2nd with a flashlight 3rd with a homemade attempt at a lightbox)
I think Vograce's charms just generally look better if they're brighter and have more saturated colors. This doesn't play to their strengths. It does look an awful lot like a film slide, that's just nit compelling me enough personally.
If you're interested in the charms and really really want one, leave a comment or something - I can see about getting a handful made - but this doesn't seem like it'll be worthwhile to go ahead and try to sell multiples of to me lol
Looks cool on my wall of (mostly not made by me) charms though.
#update#zanewake#keychain#it does look *cool* though#it's very striking on my white charm wall#that being said i just don't think it looks attention grabbing enough#also there are some oddities in the print quality and that makes me think that something w this many subtleties of tone is probably not#best suited to this while a more cartoony thing like my stunticon charms works better#....one day I'll finish Dead End#ill put the rest of the tags later when they wont show up in the main tag ... I don't think its necessary
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all the other akis I got today :) (plus some extras)
and I wanted to show some closeups... the chainsaw man exhibition stand because it's one of my favorite stands of him now, and chibigurumi aki's outfit lolol
#I feel so spoiled with aki things today#you.. do not wanna know how much I paid for the tiny aki bean plushies#I got totally scammed I thought they'd be way larger#I think I'll put both the usagi ringo keychain and the easy revenge keychain on my itabag!#next day I have off I'll redo my whole itabag probably#I have a lot more things to put inside and I want to reorganize the keychains#I think I'll need to get a new keychain wall grate soon......#akis akis akis my heart is so happy#aki <3
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don't tell the others but she's my new favorite
#again pls don't let the others know#they're not ready to know yet#barbie#dolls#living barbie doll 1968 my beloved#the clothes are actually not barbie they're a mod clone from around the same time lol#they might actually be for a male doll they're so loose i'm not even sure. i like them anyway#they need to be flattened out tho bc as you can see there are some deep wrinkles#maybe i'll lay them under a book#she's who i wish to be#i'm putting myself on an ebay ban for the time being tho bc i've gone a bit crazy in the last month lol#when i next get a doll i'm probably gonna hunt for a titian stacey. since i have original ponytail barbie in midge in red hair#i need the tnt era barbie to have a contemporary friend. but also w red hair#all of my dolls will be redheads bc they live in a better world than i do#also don't mind my shitty lighting. my room has shitty lighting#idk how else to say it#there's just one lamp and the walls are dark
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ok i've just now realized a 1000x easier way to store all of the Gifted Eyhms i've been receiving
THE CAT BINDER ARRIVES TOMORROW (I HOPE)
#.....okay if me deciding putting cats all over my walls instead of. in a nice organized way. wasn't proof enough of my undiagnosed adhd.#then i dunno what else i'd be able to tell the doctors.#but heyyyyyy my kitties are gonna look sooo PRETTYYYYY#i'll probably leave the ones in frames up still and the ones that are stickers since they're smaller#but.... Organ ization....... soon.......
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I'll stop posting wips eventually but it's been five days since I've said anything and I don't want anyone to think I'm dead/dying/stuck in a ditch and withering away, so here's 10% of the reason I disappeared (the duck is stuck in rendering hell) (and my little baby laptop is screaming at me every time I open up this file)
I might still be mostly lurking for a little bit so please be patient with me in the meantime 🙏🙏
#seriously though I'm sorry for just up and disappearing like that#wanna talk to people and interact with them so bad lately but I just can't bring myself to do it#so the best i can manage is blabbing in the tags like always#i don't know wtf is going on but over the past few days I've just felt like i don't deserve to talk to anyone#tried to reblog posts from mutuals several times but something in my head keeps saying;#'yeah they don't actually care for your input at all and you're being a bother for even trying etc etc'#and i know deep down that's probably not true (i hope) but i can't reason it away you know#and i know the best solution to this is to just talk to someone#let it be known that i *did* make an attempt to#i tried texting someone (and succeeded) but i couldn't keep doing it and I'm back at square one (and now feel worse lmao)#i'm not really putting this here for anybody to see it as much as i am for myself#but i know that (hypothetically) this could be seen by a real human so it still kinda feels like I'm reaching out in a way which feels nice#makes me feel less like I'm shriveling up in my own self imposed solitude#so uh hello person who might be reading the tags (there's six of you guys here now which is crazy cause i post nothing but junk here lol)#((but thanks anyway for following and even more thanks for reading this if you did))#i'll make my way around all the posts i missed soon enough don't worry#i'm sorry i'm really not meaning to ignore anybody#i have drafted quite a few posts from moots that i couldn't finish leaving comments on but i have seen them#everyone here is super cool and talented as always <3 whether that be through art or writing or just finding neat posts to share#this wall of text is long enough and i'm very eeby so thank you again for reading this#tldr; not dead and i'll be okay eventually :)#not rb#hey look i didn't post a picture of my dog this time (a crime)#i'll make sure to share one the next time i get a good one
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Sometimes I get the Urge to make a Big explanation about my view and thoughts on the universe, like, metaphysically and then like. Remember it doesn't matter and no one cares.
#personal;#it's not like i'm trying to start a new religion or philosophical branch or nothing#more like.....why put in the effort to monologue at the wall. it's not something i want to throw into the void#if i voice how i view and interact with the universe (which. probably honestly includes a non 0 amount of magical thinking)#then i want like. i dunno. a conversation? something about it#but also i know if i post it to the internet i'll get people calling it dumb too and like#don't want that#like it's not theistic but it's also not NOT theistic and it's not anything verifiable with current science#and has to do with nebulous concepts that are merely terms given to things that don't exist (like time. and possible electrons)#maybe i SHOULD write all of it down and try to publish it#weirder shit is being touted these days#maybe i should just shut up now#(need to figure out who in my head it is that makes so many personal posts and get them a blog or something)
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Just had the idea of doing a Roxy askblog that's based on it being a secret blog she's not allowed to have and every so often if someone asks her something she just says stuff like "To the Fazspy reading this, I'm not the real Roxy." to try and throw the staff off her trail lmao
Will probably never make a blog like that, but it could be kinda funny. Maybe I bring the idea of an 'ask Roxy anything' game back where I draw the answers for it instead so it's not a whole ass blog dedicated to Roxy being a sneaky lil shit on the internet
#there's several reasons I probably won't do it but it's a fun spin on stuff#roxy exploring the closed off parts of the plex in first person lmao#taking pictures like 'look see? its right there!' and she's pointing at literally nothing because the camera doesn't see what her eyes see#could be funny!#but doing things is... I would say it's improving but not really#it's improving in a maybe it is maybe it isn't sort of way so who knows if I'll ever get to do it anyway#ANYWAY yeah I'll probs not do this. literally no one would interact with it#the people are bored of my plex history stuff anyway so like... yeah it's cool I know when something won't work#an askblog only works if it gets asks and uh yeah the amount of askblogs I've seen die off within a week here because of that is crazy#no thank you to that I think!#I'm not putting the effort into something like that just to have it die so fast#hi if you read this far go find an askblog and pester the shit out of them it's fun#I haven't seen any around for a while but I also can't view half of tumblr on my phone#so it's really fucking hard to see them even if I follow them :(#but yeah if there's any sb askblogs out there or anyone that wants to have a go at it tag me in a post.#I WILL show up to be silly in your inbox though I may not always remember the plot if there is one#again. I can't see half of tumblr on mobile and that includes blogs but I'll do my best man#askblogs are fun! they're goofy and chaotic!#highly recommend!! I haven't ran one in years but they were very fun!!#ANYWAY Roxy just making posts like 'Jerry. Sandy. I know what you two keep doing in the Gator Golf caravan. :)'#just name dropping random plex guests to be like 'I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE' for shits and giggles#'who are they?' 'oh just two morons that dont know I know Everything Ever. Don't worry about it.'#ya know?? fun! goofy shit! could be funny!#random pictures from inside the plex like 'lmao they think I cant see them' and its just a fucking wall like yeah I wonder why#maybe it's the fucking wall in the way who knows? it's a mystery sdfdsf#pop rox talks
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exists
Realizes there's so many better more popular AUs than mine
Fucking gives up and dies
#Vague vent#Ig??#Idk I'll explain here#In the safety of the tags.#I know like- I don't need to be popular and I should be happy with what I got#WHICH I AM#IM SO SO SO THANKFUL FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YALL AND HELPING ME GET THIS FAR#I mean it!!#But sometimes it's hard you know.#Like I work so hard on something#For once#Putting effort into something#And...#No one cares#I feel like I'm talking to a wall#Showing my art to a wall#And maybe that's just me!#I mean my art isn't great#It's mediocre at best#But yk..#God idk.#I just- I see other creators and their loved AUs or loved OCs and..#I kinda envy them#I'm sure it's overwhelming as shit#But it also seems so rewarding.#For people to like what you make.#I'm probably being dramatic.
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what colour should i paint my new bedroom knowing that technically im only allowed to do pastels but pastels are ugly
#like i know what i want but a) should i be so bold and b) i hate blue and i NEED to find the correct colour#bc it's a long room so i want to do red on the short wall with the door and blue on the long wall#then put a bunch of shelves over the blue#but either way the blue has to be the right shade or i'll scream#i HATE jewel tones i do NOT want them near me#it needs to be a primary blue or i'll scream#but i'm not too bothered about red i like all reds#plus i have red fitted sheets (which ikea doesnt sell anymoer and now they have holes in them so rip)#anyway i really also love the green colour i've found like the light green#and i think orange and green is also nice & theyre still not pastels by any stretch of the imagination#but like. theyre also not primary colours so . idk#like my landlord shouldn't ever be in my bedroom but yk#also we have a blue tiled bathroom and a green tiled kitchen if it matters#& we'll probably do a yellow wall in the living room bc i dont think we'll be able to stop my roommate#(but if it were up to me & the other roommate i think we'd have a green and orange living room)
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You’re just so specil to me :) (Patreon)
#Doodles#Deltarune#Spamton#Blue Addison#Okay so /now/ I have it all out of my system. Probably. Lol#Decided to try something new with the colours for Blue - I think I like it! It's simple and readable#And also blue blushes hehe ♪#Yet more throwing things against the wall without much thought - why is Blue the only one getting Spam action? Well if he's the only one-#Just isolate them together don't worry about it it's fine lol#And then I started thinking about well Why would that be the case? What is is about Blue? *spreads hands* This#Lol#In reality it's probably just that Blue's the one that had the meet-cute and Spamton's just trying to take it slow#One is already a lot haha#I am proud of my self-control to not draw Queen's lips as one of his thoughts about blue things as well lol#Stop trying to put your mouth on blue things Spamton!#Always a treat to pull out my gold glitter pen haha I wish it scanned better :') I'll have to find a good alternative sometime#Blue knows he's just BSing him lol - but what if he does mean it?? No he doesn't lol#It's just funner to pick on him than tell the truth
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I finished painting another wall and honestly I'm feeling the white walls
#put all my picture frames back up :)#next wall will take longer but whatever#i'll also probably do one or two coats of white paint on my accent wall so the new wall colour will cover properly#i'll reinstate the shrine soon too!#rayrambles
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