#I'll post the follow up chapter to 'forward from the author' soon

[ranticore]

I saw the zeta post and I adored the concept and it left me with a million questions. If the zetas lack tongues are they incapable of speech? the post also mentioned that a kattakani's bodies don't comunicate with each other much, is that part of the reason why? Do they have some kind of sign language? Also I 've realized that the company that was settling Siren with all these GMO's was wildly unethical at best (love sticking a guy in a dream and then making him turn into a whale) -but what the hell was even the reasoning behind trying to make a sentient sapient human derived creature incapable of community empathy or solidarity? Was there a running office game of 'who can think up the experiment that crosses the most moral lines'?

Hiii

zeta had to re-evolve speech all on their own because it wasn't just a lack of tongues holding them back but also a lack of certain language centres in the brain - they could understand speech but struggled to produce it. they use sign language now due to a lack of tongues (it's why they wear hand-guards, their hands are very important to their social functioning so they get protected well). but the reason the kattakati bodies don't talk much is the same reason why most people don't talk to themselves anyway (some do ofc it's impossible to make really sweeping statements about a whole population); they tend to turn their communication outwards to other people than keep it internal.

Honestly there was an effort in the company's HQ to think up the worst stuff they could do and still turn a profit because they found Siren a perfect place to experiment without any oversight so if they were going to need to do something horrible in the future, they might as well test it out here. The dream thing is just an example of corporate penny-pinching - sure they could commission a bespoke dream for Ishmael and the beta phocids that matched their future lives a bit more, but that costs a lot of money and they really just needed the bare minimum, why not just use one of the pre-made dreams. It's not like they'd remember the dreams anyway. They were not interested in the minds of their first three design iterations (or the harpies), only their bodies. Even though they had a massive budget and were seeking huge profits they still did everything as cheaply as they could get away with; the pilots who surveyed the planet even had to bring their own equipment from home because it was barely provided.

As for the zeta and why they were made like that, well, it's basically just preemptive union-busting on a genetic level. Workers who only follow orders but never talk amongst themselves, never show curiosity towards their neighbours. A hyper-atomised taskforce.

[authorsadiethatcher]

I meant to write this post last week, but events left me distracted. But now I'm here, writing this month's State of the Thatcher Address. It's dark and rainy where I am, but that just means it's easier to write and I don't have to wear sunglasses when I run.

In the next few months, you might notice a few changes I'm making. Or maybe not, because I'm this isn't a pivot, just a slight shift in how I do things (and at times where I do them from). But what you can be sure that I will continue to bring you my special brand of bimbo fiction (please remember that what I write is fiction).

However, one change that I'm making is a pullback from Twitter. My Twitter will stay up, but it will only be used for book announcements from now on. Instead, I'm moving all captioning and commenting to Bluesky. I've already got a handful of fun and sexy captions and will be writing more soon. Check it out.

Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/sadiethatcher.bsky.social

A quick reminder that you can find my books on Amazon, Smashwords, Google Play Books, Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and Everand. You can also read everything I’ve published under my Sadie Thatcher name since last May 2023 on Ream, which is a subscription platform built specifically for authors. You can check out my Ream page below.

Ream: https://reamstories.com/sadiethatcher

And speaking of Ream, I have a Ream exclusive novel called The Muse (extreme dollification) that is now complete. I’ve made the first three chapters available for free. All you have to do is sign up as a follower at the link above to get a taste of my first real story that is too extreme for Amazon. I'm thinking about writing another Ream exclusive, but I haven't had any ideas for it yet.

I also post the occasional bit of flash fiction for followers on Ream. I have one up already and plan to post another one this week. As soon as I’m inspired, I’ll add a new mini-story to Ream.

On the Libby Feron front, I am finally moving forward with Astra's first book in Magical Misfits Academy. Astra will get a trilogy and then there will be a second trilogy featuring a classmate of Astra's. Hopefully it all comes together soon. Since I don’t talk about my fantasy writing often, checking out https://libbyferon.com/ and signing up for the email newsletter is the best way to stay informed. At some point, there will be a free novella offered.

The up and coming news isn't as significant this month, because I'm writing this in the middle third of the month. The Stacked and Racked Series is finished, although I'll admit that Lexi played less of a role in this series than I had originally intended. She was more an example of what Brandi's future might entail. I'll be publishing the omnibus soon. There are two more books in the Bimbo Candy Series. I set up a sequel in Growth Mindset. The next book will be called Accidental Bimbo. I have it all outlined, so I'll be writing that next. As with most of my series, this will be a trilogy.

The last new series I plan is listed in my notes as Plastic Bimbo. I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote it down, but I'll figure something out. I don't know how plastic the bimbos will actually get, but there could be some shiny skin involved. Who knows?

I'll write another update in December, because I don't actually have all of December mapped out yet. I will say that I have a commission coming up that could be a lot of fun. That's something else I'm working on.

For those in the northern hemisphere, stay warm and dry. And maybe horny, too.

[magicalqueennightmare]

Sins & Amends Chapter 17

(Image is not of reader. Just needed something to fit the aesthetic of this chapter)

Billy Russo x Female Reader (60 part story)

This follows pre- the punisher into the storyline of daredevil, punisher season 1 and beyond

This is NOT Canon Billy. This is decent human being Billy left with bad options over worse decisions

This was also posted to A03 under: WaywardGaPeach. That account and this one is the only place you'll see me post this. If you see it on any other platform/account know it's not me.

Chapter Summary/Warnings: How many more people could you lose? [Angst, loss, funeral]

It didn't make any sense. The police report, what you'd been told had happened just didn't add up to the plans you knew they had that day. 

Frank and Maria would've been at the carousel. It was a long standing tradition. Had you and Billy not split, had your heart not been aching from the breakup you would've been with them. You knew enough people who were first responders to know there had been a bloody massacre that day involving three gangs but NYPD, the District Attorney everyone was trying so hard to shovel it down your throat that the people who were the closest thing to family you had were gunned down at a stoplight across town?

To make matters worse you had no way to find Frank. He'd been taken from the scene, you were told he was dead but there was no body. You weren't actually family so no one in places of authority was taking you seriously. 

------------

"Y/N sweet heart. We gotta meet Father Lantom first thing" you blinked through tears you hadn't realized had found their way from your eyes down your cheeks, a few of them dropping onto the folder you had laid out in front of you. "It doesn't make sense Curt. Why them? Why Maria and Lisa and Jr? Where is Frank's body? I have so many questions and no damn answers" 

He held out a hand to pull you to your feet and you let him. He waved a hand around the floor where you'd been pouring over everything you had actually managed to get your hands on. "This isn't helping you. We'll find him. Wherever he ended up. If he's in a potter's field we will get him excavated and moved to be next to them but dammit me and you gotta help each other here. They both would've kicked my ass if I let you drive yourself into the ground. You're still my family and I still have your back but we gotta get through this first ok?" 

You nodded slowly "Thank you Curt. I really don't know what I would do without you" you pulled him into a hug and he held you for a few moments until he could tell you wouldn't break into a thousand pieces from him letting go. He nodded towards your bedroom "Get some rest"

You crouched to collect everything off the floor and could feel him watching you "I promise I'm headed in as soon as I clean this up. I just don't think I can look at this then hold it together for the service" he didn't look like he believed you but his phone started ringing and you knew from the particular tone it was Billy calling "Go talk to him. I'll be fine" you forced a small smile onto your face and managed to hold it until the guest bedroom door shut behind Curtis then you crumpled onto the floor holding all the files and paperwork in your lap.

You hadn't thought you could hurt worse but that day had destroyed any notion of moving forward you'd held onto.  Nearly everyone who mattered to you had been ripped away and you knew you were being lied to by a lot of people, what you didn't know was why or how to uncover the truth.

You had the next two and a half weeks off thanks to everyone at the station house that you'd worked with for so long offering up their own furlough days to the cause. Jason and Chief Michelson knew you weren't mentally capable of handling your job at the moment and had been more than understanding. 

You didn't want to lay all your trauma at Curtis' feet either. Frank had been like a brother to him. He'd known Maria the entire time she'd been with Frank and had held the kids as babies. You knew he was hurting. Billy had been keeping in contact with him multiple times a day for the last week. He'd tried calling you the first few days but you couldn't do it. The thread you were hanging on by was simply so bare. You couldn't chance it snapping. Not before you could at the very least lay Maria and the kids to rest.

You couldn't stand the thought of Frank's body being out there somewhere. Him going unclaimed, people assuming he had no one who loved him. You owed it to Maria and to him to find him. You had to make sure he was next to them but to do that you had to get through the next day. You slowly pushed yourself to your feet and trudged towards your room. You could hear Curtis' voice muffled slightly by the door and swore you heard your name but you were too exhausted to care. 

You walked into your room and collapsed across the bed. You knew the night wouldn't be easy on you. Your unconscious mind was the monster waiting under the bed but you couldn't risk falling asleep during daylight hours you had too much work to be done.

The next morning when your alarm went off you'd already been awake for hours staring at a photo on your wall. It was from the day Maria and Frank had gotten married. She looked so happy with her head laid over on Frank's chest. 

How the hell were you supposed to say goodbye to someone who'd meant so much to you? You were broke out your thoughts by Curtis' light knock at the door "Y/N?" "Come in Curt" you responded pushing your blankets off your legs. He opened the door and the smell of coffee hit your nose.

He had the mug he usually used at your place in one hand and your favorite mug in the other. "I made coffee. Can we talk for a second before you start getting dressed?" You slid up the bed into a seated position and patted the mattress not far from you "Of course"

He handed your coffee over then sat down. You took a few tentative sips while you waited for him to speak. After a moment he finally said "Billy called last night to see how you're holding up" "I appreciate it" it was the truth. He nodded then said "He wanted to know if it was ok if he sits with us at the funeral"

You drew your feet up under you and stared down into your coffee. Did you want to be sitting next to Billy while you mourned Maria and the kids? It seemed only right. Him and Curtis were Frank's best friends just as you were Maria's. "Of course" you finally spoke and Curtis watched you for a second before saying "Ok. I'll call him while you're getting dressed"

You watched silently while he stood and went to walk out the room but before he could step out you said "Thank you for being here Curt" he gave you a small smile and said "Always" before shutting the door behind him.

-------------------

You hugged your arms tightly around yourself as you walked into the church. Since you and a couple of Maria's cousins had been the ones to make the arrangements all of you had to meet Father Lantom before the service just to insure how you wanted it to go.

You spotted Eliza and her husband Bryan at the head of the church but felt a wave of nausea wash over you at the sight of the bigger white casket that had been picked for Maria sitting between the smaller silver caskets that held Lisa and Frank Jr. "I can't do this Curt" you whispered feeling his hand at your lower back "It's ok Y/N" you felt yourself sway slightly. God you had to be stronger than this. Maria had been there for you through so much. Hell the two of you had went through Vivian and Jon's deaths together.  You could do this, you had to.

------------------------

You were sitting in the second row of the church. Curtis was sitting on one side of you and Alice was sitting on your other side holding your hand. Billy was on the other side of Curtis while Kenzie was next to Alice. 

------------

Your eyes hadn't moved from the caskets until Father Lantom said "Maria's best friend Y/N is going to share a few words with us" you took a deep breath and felt Alice and Curtis both squeeze your hands as you stood and walked to the front of the church.

Father Lantom hugged you and whispered "I am so sorry. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here" the two of you had talked in great length already. He knew how conflicted you were and despite you not being Catholic had offered any counselling help he could. You nodded and said "Thank you" then climbed the two steps to the pulpit.

You looked across the crowd and recognized nearly everyone there. When your eyes skimmed over Billy he met your gaze and those dark brown eyes held you for a second before you started talking  "Most of you know me. Maria's parents pretty much adopted me so she was so much more than a friend she was like a big sister. I learned what love and family was from her. Every choice I made she was there. The day I graduated high school she was in the crowd making a very large amount of noise for one woman"

You took another deep breath then continued "The day she got married, I was her maid of honor. When she had Lisa and Frank Jr I was in the delivery room holding her hand. I feel like a piece of my own heart is laying before us today. My world stopped when these souls were ripped away from us. No matter what Maria was always there. Lisa and Frank Jr barely got a start at life. The world isn't fair, it isn't just..." 

You lowered your head and took a few deep breaths. You just had to hold it together a little while longer "There's a poet that me and Maria both liked. One of her pieces seemed to fit so I thought I'd share it" you locked eyes with Billy again and knew he could tell you were barely hanging on. No matter what had happened between the two of you, he knew you inside and out.

Curtis caught your eyes and mouthed "You ok?" You nodded then finally continued "It's called Multi-Verse. I'm just going to share a small part.. How comforting to think that there are so many universes. Perhaps one where the titanic did not sink, One where humanity is kind to the earth, not a curse. Possibly one where magic is real. Where faith is rewarded instead of scorned. And perhaps even one where I do not grieve because you are alive and I have no need to mourn"

The tears were flowing freely enough you could barely see straight so you simply said "This was my family if I ever had one. As long as I live, I will keep their memories alive. They deserved so much more and I can only hope somewhere they're all happy and together" you stepped away from the pulpit and Father Lantom helped you walk down.

Billy was standing to the end of your row of pews. One look to each other was all it took. He pulled you against his chest and you felt your shoulders start to shake with the force of your sobs as soon as he wrapped his arms around you. Alice and Kenzie moved down so he could ease you into the pew on the end. "It hurts so much Billy" you whispered clinging to his suit jacket. He soothingly ran a hand across your back "I know sweetheart. We're all here for you. I'm here for you and I am so sorry" you didn't ask for which thing he meant, you simply allowed yourself the comfort.

-----------------------

After the graveside service was over you took Alice and Kenzie's offered ride home. "Call if you need me" Curtis reminded you as he pulled you into a hug. Billy stood silently watching you as you walked away with Alice's arm around your waist. You were exhausted mentally and physically.

You were sitting with your head laid over on the window when Kenzie pulled over in front of your building. "Do you want us to stay a while? We don't have any plans"  Alice offered but you shook your head "I love you both for the offer but I just want some time alone and before you say it I promise to call if it gets bad" 

Alice leaned over the seat and kissed your forehead "I love you too partner" you tried to smile but couldn't quite manage it. "Bye Kenz. I love you too" you said and patted her shoulder before climbing out. 

You knew they wouldn't pull off until you were inside so you waved once then walked in the door. You wanted to shower, change into comfortable clothes and cry in the privacy of your own home. Mourning wasn't a step by step thing everyone did it their own way and you had to figure out yours especially now that the one person you always turned to was who you were mourning.

Tags @intothesoul

@weallhaveadestiny

[chen-chen-chen-again-chen]

Hi, hello, hola, and happy Stab Caesar Day! Tumblr ate my original draft because, um, I guess its hunger is horrible and insatiable? But here I am for take two. Thank you to @artsyunderstudy, @larkral, and @forabeatofadrum, who tagged me today and who continue to craft delightful things.

Updates on My Good Egg (Good morning, good night, good morning): My plan of posting Chapter 4 today ain't gonna happen. I updated the author's notes, but the next posting date is TBD. I need to focus on my health right now, and then I'll be travelling for a bit (March 24-April 7). But hey, if you've been meaning to read this one, now's a great time to catch up? 🤣

In the meanwhile, I'll share a snippet featuring several of my OCs, Baz's queer, chaotic uni friends. Behind the cut for mild spice. 🌶️

Bunce goes off with Simon so that she can pump the American bartender for information, and as soon as they’re out of earshot, Emma leans forward, her eyes glittering. “Well?”

“Well what.”

“I told Liu and Ramesh you got kidnapped,” Emma says, waving her hand dismissively, “and of course we’re all very worried and hope you’re doing okay and acclimating to regular life again, but have. You. Ridden. That.” 

Baz regrets downing a few rats before they left for the pub, because it means he has enough blood in him to blush. “We’ve been figuring out this kidnapping situation,” he says coolly. “It hasn’t left much time for carnal pursuits.” 

“Baz,” Liu says, aghast. “Why haven’t you fucked that nice himbo? He’s clearly gagging for it - he couldn’t stop staring at your arse in those jeans.” 

“Is he a himbo?” Ramesh says. He pulls out a pen and starts to doodle a triple Venn diagram on a napkin. “He seemed like more of a twunk to me. And he’s got a great bear belly.” 

“Ladies,” Emma says, her hands fluttering in mock-distress, “please don’t objectify that sweet boy before Baz gets to objectify him. Baz will eat his fill of the man-meat and then give us a report.” 

(Please put in the comments/tags if you think Simon Snow is a twunk, a himbo, or something else delightful. 🤣)

Hello tags and tagbacks: @whogaveyoupermission, @cutestkilla, @facewithoutheart, @captain-aralias, @fatalfangirl, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @whogaveyoupermission (THE EDGING CONTINUES), @raenestee, @ileadacharmedlife, @shrekgogurt, @hushed-chorus, @shemakesmeforget, @theimpossibledemon, @imagineacoolusername

More about the hiatus for My Good Egg:

(Warning for some hard stuff, Big Feelings, trauma recovery. Feel free to skip and just bask in Ides of March posts instead!)

Okay, so introspective life/writing blather here... I keep meaning to write a post, at some point, about some of the best practices that I follow when I am writing about material that is heavy, like in Baker boxer teacher grief or the Rosethorn girl universe.

A lot of stuff that works for me is probably self-evident: go slow, be gentle, ground yourself, talk to safe people, have a release valve, be able to walk away, offer yourself a lot of self-care and self-compassion, take care of the soft animal of your body. And don't feel like you have to put everything in - some of what you can write can just be for you, and it can be enough to have written it, and not include it in the finished product.

I honestly didn't expect Good morning, good night, good morning to get me where I live. It is, as I've always maintained, a dumb horny rom com (that somehow developed a plot and backstory and plot TWISTS and OCs but ANYWAY). But there was a line in Chapter 3 that kept rattling around in me:

“You were a kid,” Simon says, his voice low and angry. “You were just a kid.” 

This is not the first time I've been triggered by own fic (and probably won't be the last, LOL!), but this one did me a doozy. I've had to take a few steps back, and just focus on recovering from trauma that's been reactivated in my body. It is wild what the body remembers, and how it holds onto pain.

(There is, at the same time, other stuff happening with my family with grief and estrangement and just a whole mischegoss of hard feelings, so that adds another element into the mix.)

To circle back round to My Good Egg: I'm putting it to the side for now while I tend to my health and just recovering from the past few weeks. It's funny - I don't think it's a particularly angsty story or one that does a super deep dive into trauma, but I need to take some pieces off my plate right now, and this fic is one of them.

I will always keep writing - the WIP game has been a delightful brain refresher, and I have a very fun Six Sentence Sunday post that I'm already excited to share. But for now, My Good Egg is gonna have a li'l nap. When I come back to it, I think I'll switch over to writing the second draft in its entirety, and then posting the chapters weekly, whenever that happens. I'm not putting a timeline on it right now.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk making your way through this personal essay, if you've gotten this far. I am continually blown away and delighted by everyone who engages with the fic, and I am so excited to serve you up some treats in the future.

To end on a lighter note, here is an exchange with my spouse, the inestimable EarlobeGreyTea who continues to offer thoughtful and nuanced feedback on this fic, Exhibit A:

EarlobeGreyTea: Did they fuck in this chapter?

Me: No Me: And they didn't fuck in the previous chapter Me: It's the EROTIC Grope Fest. It doesn't have to have explicit sex (yet) EarlobeGreyTea: Yeah, I guess it isn't the Sloppy Fuck Fest

Love you all. ❤️❤️❤️

[mirkwoodshewolf]

IATCOD Chap. 23; Guardian of the White city

*Author's note*

Jesus am I on a roll with this story or what? Already I think this is a far better improvement than my last LOTR fic cause I've got TOO deep into this story to just let it be abandoned. Now I was thinking whether or not to wait till I got the next chapter done before I posted this but I decided to just go ahead and post this chapter and I hope that sometime this week I'll finish up the next chapter and let you all enjoy a double update in one week (that is if I can do it but who knows).

Not much for warnings except this is mostly battle sequences, there's talk of male hierarchy (apologizes if this chapter ends up a bit too political but this is what Hela has dealt with, especially in Gondor and MOSTLY with Denethor II).

Also IMAGE BELOW IS NOT MINE!!!! CREDIT GOES TO THE CREATOR I'M JUST USING IT FOR VISUAL PURPOSES ONLY.

NEXT CHAPTER

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@queen-paladin

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

@thats-s0-ravenn

_________________________________________________________

After the beacons were successfully lit, I had ran towards the armory in search of my old Gondorian armor that I had forged myself when I was Captain of the tower guard.  Now knowing Denethor I would’ve thought he’d had this destroyed or thrown out so that there was no more trace of a Celestial ever being here.

But surprisingly I had found it not in the chest I had kept it in, but in a special display near the King’s of old armories and weapons.  The armor shined and my sword still sharp.  As I finished fastening the last bit of my armor, I saw Haldir leaning against the doorway of our room.

“You wish to come and fight at my side.” I told him.

“I know you wish to protect me but I cannot take being locked up in this kingdom another second.”

“And I wasn’t going to let you. But I have one very specific request you must follow.” I walked up to him and reached up to his face.  “When you see any Nazgul, do not engage with them. You will turn and ride as hard as you can.”

“I promise.” He said after a brief period of silence. 

“Thank you, now come, our steed awaits near the gates.” I held the back of Haldir’s neck and used Makkari’s speed to get us there in just a few seconds where a dark brown horse with a white patch up along its nose stood.  He let out a startled neigh before he huffed and shook his head.  “So sorry Anárion. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“Anárion?” questioned Haldir.

“Yes, this here was Boromir’s horse. Ever since his rider’s death, I sent a message to him to return home and await my arrival.” I reached out and touched Anárion’s nose and he let out a few huffs.  “He’ll be our steed in battle. Now come, we don’t have much time.” We both got on top of Anárion and I ordered the guards to open the gate for us and soon I urged Anárion forward and with great speed, he rode us towards Osgiliath.

When we got within the city’s range, Haldir told me.

“The city’s overrun. Orc archers are up along the walls ahead of us.”

“Easy pickings.” My right wrist glowed and using Thena’s magic, I summoned a shield that stood just a few inches away from Anárion’s charging form and that was able to cover over both mine and Haldir’s heads like a roof.  Orcs arrows bounced off the shield as we charged in and Haldir used his bow and arrow to fire from behind and kill the six archers that had been shooting at us.

 As we rode deeper into the city, I took Aeglos off from around my chest and stuck his blade into the ground before dragging it across the graveled path.  Thanks to some of Thena’s enhanced magic, his blade didn’t break as he was able to brig up some of the gravel and dust from the city floor to provide a good cover for some of the Gondorian soldiers or the Ithilien Rangers to use their weapons and strike the orcs down.

Anárion rode in a full gallop as I took back Aeglos and let out a battle cry holding him outward and impaled an orc from the back, raised its limped body in the air before it’s fly right off of Aeglos’s blade.  Haldir used his bow and arrows to bring down any orc that tried to come at us.

I could sense a good number of lives being lost further into the city but the outer rim still needed aid.

“Take the reins!” I cried to Haldir.

“What?!”

“Just take the reins! Keep aiding the men along the outer perimeter of the city!” I quickly adjusted myself so that I was facing Haldir and his arms came around me to take the reins.  “You elves aren’t the only ones with fancy moves.” I said smirking at him.  He looked at me perplexed as I perked my brow at him and did a flip move that I learned from Cain.

I picked up my legs and I soon flipped over both Haldir and Anárion.  When I had leapt, I was first curled into a ball but when I felt my legs coming towards the sky, I straightened myself out until I finally landed on my feet before some orcs that stood before me.  Using Aeglos and my own strength, I took each of them down.  Slicing off their limbs or twisting their necks with my bare hands.

I turned briefly to Haldir and gave him a firm nod and he gave me a nod back.  He urged Anárion onward and I soon saw them both disappear into the battle.  My admiration soon turned to hatred as I growled lowly and blocked an orc that had raised its mace at me and I used Aeglos’ staff to block it.  I kicked the orc’s stomach to send him flying towards one of the buildings as three more tried to come at me.

Both Cain’s teachings and Thena’s powers were making my blood boil and adrenaline pumping.  I crossed blades with two orcs while another one tried to come at me from the side.  I pulled up a Celestial shield to block his attack then used that shield to disarm him allowing me to kick him and see his body skip like a rock on water.

I pushed back the two orcs I had crossed blades with and easily relieved them of their heads before I raced further into the city.  Any orc that I came into contact with, received the full wrath of the Celestial of death and I gathered up as many men who still had a fighting chance to come aid with the town square of the city.

I leapt up along the old buildings and took down the orcs that were using the towers as high ground for their archers.  I slammed one orc down onto the roof while I punched another orc right in the throat disabling him before I stuck Aeglos’ blade right through his skull.

But all too soon I heard them.  Their piercing screams that felt like nails slowly scrapping across the floor.  From the dark clouds I saw them riding on fellbeasts.  The Nazgul had come.

I watched in horror as their fellbeasts swooped down like a dark shadow and began scooping up any Gondorian man they could find.  I also could hear the men calling for a retreat and saw them all starting to ride back to Minas Tirith.  My heart broke as I knew it to be true.

Osgiliath was lost.

Swallowing my fear, I took to the skies using Ikaris’ gemstone and flew off towards one of the nine who had about four guards in the claws of his fellbeast.   As the demonic creature released them to fall to their deaths, I intervened and caught each of the men and carefully set them down.

“Make for Minas Tirith! GO!!” the men nodded and quickly took off running.  I soon heard the screech and roar of both a Nazgul and a fellbeast heading towards me.  I flew out of the way but both chased after me.

“Give up and surrender yourself Celestial of Death!” the Nazgul spoke to me.

“Over my dead body.” The fellbeast soon shot its neck forward and tried to capture me in its horrid jaws but I fired a couple of star bolts at it to deter it away from me.  It let out a cry of pain as I took off flying away from it.  Suddenly out of nowhere a second Nazgul came at me and nearly had me in his grasp but with some quick reflexes I was able to avoid his fell grip.

The two Nazgul soon took chase after me.  So long as they targeted me and not the men, I can give them some time to reach the city.  Oh I hope Haldir made good on his promise and is fleeing with the men now that the Raiths are here.

“Alright you guys, think your fellbeasts can beat the speed of the Starlights?” I then took off flying high above the clouds and the Nazgul continued to resume chase.

Their fellbeasts surrounded me and tried with both jaw and claws to catch me, but I was too fast for them.  I fired more star bolts at them as well as their riders and I saw as they curled themselves inward at the power of my Starlight brother Ikaris.

Suddenly out of nowhere, the third Nazgul, and this one I did know by name.  The second deadliest of the nine to ever be named, Khamûl The Easterling.  His fellbeast roared in my face and I was suddenly struck with fear as these creatures (much like their masters) had a fell air about them that made anyone feel utter fear and despair.  Khamûl then grabbed hold of my throat and I struggled in his grip as he hissed at me.

“They will all die. And you shall watch them.” The two Nazgul dove back down to attack the retreating Gondorian armies and Haldir while Khamûl still had me in his grasp.  He pulled me up to him and my vision soon became hazy as I felt the affects of the Black breath come onto me.

 I tried to resist and use my own powers to overpower the dark aura of the Black breath but Khamûl was not to be trifled with.  Next to Angmar himself, he is the second most deadliest of the Nine.  Both in life and in death he was a foul, foul man.  However, unlike if I had been the Celestial I was back then I would’ve easily given in.

It took everything I had to muster the Starlight’s Blaze within me.  Those men, Haldir, the people of Gondor.  My body slowly flickered until my eyes glowed pure starlight and I said to him.

“You will not hurt any of these men! Khamûl the Damned!!!” I then felt a burst of light burst out of me and I heard Khamûl let out an agonizing scream as both he and his fellbeast recoiled from my Starlight blaze and took off flying.

As quick as the attack came, it was snuffed out and the affects of the Black breath had fully taken over me and I felt myself falling from the skies and my vision went dark.

*3rd Person POV*

While the men and Haldir made their retreat from Osgiliath and rode to Minas Tirith with all their might, they thought that thanks to the Lady Celestial they would be home free with no orcs or Nazgul chasing them.  But their hope was soon snatched away as two of the Nazgul came swooping down and attacked them.  Grabbing either men alone or men plus their horses before allowing them to fall from a great height to their deaths.

Haldir kept watch on the skies not seeing Hela in sight, his heart pounded fearing the worst when he noticed up ahead Gandalf and Pippin riding on Shadowfax charging head on to aid them.  Suddenly from the clouds burst a powerful bright light and it aimed for the backs of the Nazgul.  Haldir had seen that kind of light before and he knew exactly who it was that was making it.  It was also at that moment, Haldir saw Gandalf used his own staff to aid the bright light that had shone down from the dark clouds.

With no way of flying back to Osgiliath, the Nazgul fled towards the mountains as Gandalf soon joined the men in leading them back to the city.  But Haldir still caught no sight of Hela from the clouds, that was until he had seen her falling and unable to stop herself.

“HYAH!!” Haldir urged Anárion with great haste, Boromir’s steed ran with what almost felt like the speed of Makkari.  But even with all his speed, Hela seemed to be getting closer and closer to the ground with no chance of slowing down.  Something had to be wrong, Haldir could feel it in his gut.  “HELA WAKE UP!!” he cried but that still didn’t seem to rouse her awake.

Finally Hela landed with a loud BOOM.  And Haldir was just barely a few short feet from reaching her.  Anárion reared and neighed fearfully at not only the sound but seeing that Hela had not moved ever since her fall.  Haldir quickly got off his saddle and raced towards Hela.

“Hela! Hela!” Haldir knelt down beside her and pressed his head over her heart and could hear it beating.  He breathed a sigh of relief but it was gone for a moment when he could see no physical injury but her face had looked even paler than it normally was.

Very carefully, he picked her up in his arms and placed her on top of the saddle before mounting just behind her.  He allowed Hela to lean against his chest and he urged Anárion onward back towards the city.

Back in the city, Gandalf and the soldiers of Gondor and the Ithilien Rangers immediately began to pile the city gates after just barely escaping with their lives after a long night’s battle.

“Mithrandir!” Gandalf turned around and saw Faramir riding his horse towards them. “They broke through our defenses. They’ve taken the bridge and the west bank. Battalions of Orcs are crossing the river.”

“It is as the Lord Denethor predicted. Long has he foreseen this doom.” Spoke one of the soldiers as he unmounted his horse.

“Foreseen and done nothing!” snapped Gandalf.  When Gandalf had urged Shadowfax to fully turn around, Faramir caught sight of Pippin riding in front of his mentor and friend and was taken back at the sight of yet another halfling in his sight.  “Faramir?”

Pippin taking notice of Faramir’s intense gaze upon him, slightly turned his head away almost trying to make himself invisible when Gandalf realized why Faramir was looking at him the way he was.

“This is not the first halfling to have crossed your path.” Faramir shook his head and replied with a verbal no.  At that statement, Pippin’s eyes grew wide as he stared up at Faramir and asked him.

“You’ve seen Frodo and Sam?” Faramir nodded.

“Where? When?” asked Gandalf urgently.

“In Ithilien. Not two days ago.” Pippin looked up at Gandalf in pure joy while Gandalf’s heart raced in relief.  Oh such a blessed news to know that the two hobbits were still alive and had not been gone from this city in barely three days.  But Gandalf’s relief was hindered as Faramir told him, “Gandalf, they’re taking the road to the Morgul Vale.”

“And then the pass of Cirith Ungol.�� Gandalf finished, his eyes widened in fear.  Faramir nodded again.

“What does that mean? What’s wrong?” asked Pippin.  But Gandalf didn’t hear the young hobbit’s question as he urgently demanded to Faramir.

“Faramir, tell me everything. Tell me all you know.” But before Faramir could say a word, another voice broke through the crowd.

“Help! Help! Mithrandir help! It’s Hela!” the three of them turned and soon riding up was Haldir with Hela.  The three of them turned to Haldir and their eyes widened in shock (mostly Pippin’s and Gandalf’s).  “She has yet to awaken. And she fell straight down to the earth like a fallen star. Physically I cannot see any injuries but I’m still worried.” Haldir explained.

“Set her down.” Gandalf told Haldir.  Haldir got off of Anárion and carefully took Hela into his arms and set her down on the floor.  Gandalf and Pippin got off of Shadowfax and Pippin quickly went up to Hela and touched her face.

“She feels cold. Gandalf what’s happened to her?”

“The Nazgul.” Faramir answered.  Pippin looked up at him. “I’ve seen this happen many times since they’ve arrived to haunt this very city. Some have claimed that this is a technique they use to petrify their victims.”

“Yes. It is a technique known as the Black breath.”

“Is she going to die?” asked Pippin fearfully.  Haldir turned to the halfling offended he’d even suggest such a thing.

“To some they have.” Answered Faramir.

“But to Hela it surely won’t. But she has taken a great amount to render her unconscious.” Gandalf gently pushed Pippin aside and pressed his hand to Hela’s forehead and began to softly chant a healing spell to awaken her.

As the men began to take notice of a woman wearing Gondorian armor on the ground, they started to crowd but Faramir ordered them to give her some air and let Gandalf do his job.  Suddenly Hela let out a gasp as her chest began heaving.

“Steady Hela, steady my dear girl.”

*My POV*

One moment I was in nothing but complete darkness and the next I suddenly felt myself shooting upwards awake and I tried to fight whoever was in front of me but when I caught sight of both Gandalf and Haldir, and Gandalf’s voice slowly becoming clearer from my fuzzy hearing.

“Hela, steady my dear girl.”

“Gandalf?”

“Yes, I’m here. And you’re lucky to be here too. If you weren’t who you are and had had that much Black breath affected you, you’d be beyond any help.” I then turned to Haldir and was relieved to see him alive and in one peace.  I embraced him to which I felt him tense up slightly but he instantly wrapped his arms around me.

“I was so worried they’d—”

“You and Mithrandir saved all of us. How are you though? You were the one who fell from the sky at great speed and fell straight into the earth.”

“Did I? I—don’t recall that.” Haldir looked at me to see if I was jesting but one look in my eye and he knew I wasn’t.  Truly I don’t remember anything after I had unleashed the Starlight’s blaze on Khamûl.  Suddenly I felt another body collide into mine and I looked down to see that it was Pippin.

“Oh Pip.” I said lovingly as I embraced him.

“You were as cold as death, no pun intended with you being the—but I had feared you were…..”

“Shhhh. It’s alright Pip. I’ll be okay. Takes more than some Nazgul to break me.”

“As I live and breathe, Gandalf spoke the truth.” Pippin and I looked up and at first I thought I was seeing double.  The man before almost resembled Boromir to a T but he was younger, had a slight lighter shade of hair color and wore the uniform of the Ithilien Rangers.  He looked at me in pure awe.

“Hela, this is Faramir. He said he had seen Frodo and Sam.” My heart leaped in rejoice as I stood up with Haldir’s help and asked him.

“You have? Where? When?”

“As I told Gandalf and your halfling friend just moments ago. Not two days ago in Ithilien. But they have taken the road to the Morgul Vale.”

“What?!” I asked fearfully.  “But that leads to—”

“Cirith Ungol. Yes. Faramir was about to tell us everything he knew before your ranger friend came to us with you unconscious.” Gandalf told me.  Knowing to keep Haldir’s true identity a secret I turned back to Faramir and asked him.

“Yes. Please tell us all you know of what happened when you came across our friends.” Faramir nodded then ordered any and all guards to take the wounded to be healed not in the House of Healing, but in the secondary medical Halls.  I found it strange Faramir would not have his men go to the main healing house but that would have to be a question for another time.

Faramir soon guided us away back towards the royal stables to put Shadowfax, Anárion and Faramir’s horse away.  All the while, Faramir explained to us everything that had happened when he came across Frodo and Sam.  To me, it comes as no surprise that Gollum finally tracked down his ‘precious’ and by taking them to Cirith Ungol, I knew he was leading them there just to reclaim his precious back.

For a creature has made that her nest for centuries and only one time did I encounter her and that was when Druig, Makkari and I first went into Mordor when we were younglings.  I’ll never forget the first time we saw her, we barely escaped with our lives and Druig still had the scar of her bite to this day on his chest.  All to save me.

As our horses were now untacked and could now rest in the comfort of the stable, a messenger soon came forth and he said.

“Lord Faramir, your father requests to see you and the Lady Celestial right away.”

“Tell my father we will be there shortly.” Faramir told the messenger.

“He’s insisting now. Especially you my lady Celestial.” Oh no, this could only mean one thing.

“Tell him we’re on our way. But tell him that he may unleash his wrath upon me first before he even speaks a word to his son.”

“Hela,” Pippin started.

“Pip, you keep practicing your initiation. I’ll even have Gandalf or Rahl quiz you.” I looked down at him, giving him a firm look to not say another word on the manner.  “Come Faramir, let us see what your father wishes to speak to us about.” As I took a step, I felt myself suddenly grow faint as I suddenly staggered forward like a newborn foul but both Haldir and Faramir caught my arms.

“Perhaps I should accompany you Hela.” Haldir tried to offer but I told him.

“Lord Denethor has required only our presence. I dare not allow you to be taken under his wrath and scrutiny. Please return to our room Rahl and take some rest.” I looked at him with soft pleading eyes and as stubborn as this elf is, he abide my request.

“As you wish.” I mouthed a thank you to him as Faramir took off and helped guide me to the throne room.

“You sure you do not wish to seek a healer my lady? The Black breath of the Nazgul is no wound to tread lightly.”

“I appreciate your concern young lord. Unlike most of your men who have in some cases been petrified to death, the Black breath has never gone that far with me. I may have some fainting spells now and then and quite possible some nightmares at night but that is all the damage they can do to me with their accursed breath.”

“If you are sure, but if you do need any assistance, I will do what I can to help aid you.” I gave him a loving thank you as he continued to guide me to the throne room.

When I felt like I was able to walk on my own, Faramir reluctantly allowed me to take a few steps until he could see for himself that I was now fine.  And it was at that moment we had arrived at the doors of the throne room.  We entered inside and I held Faramir back so that I could go first.

He looked at me with the same reluctance but I assured him with a firm nod as I held my head up high and slowly walked towards Denethor who glared down at me from his throne with Perses and Deimos at his side.

As I stopped before his throne, I put my hands behind my back and stood at attention while Denethor stood up from his throne, a menacing look in his eye.  He came down from the throne, stood face to face with me before winding his hand back and gave me a hard backhand across the face.  His ring giving me a small cut as my breathing harshened and I soon turned back to him.

“Ever you have wanted to prove your worth more to the World of Men. Celestials prancing about thinking they were superior to us. Claiming to teach us, when all you do is look down upon us like we’re scum. Like we can’t fight our own battles! Treating us no better than children. Or an undisciplined pet.”

“I did what I judged to be right Denethor.”

“What you judged to be right!?” he sneered lowly. 

“The Celestial has ruined the plans I had given the men at Osgiliath. Now because of her, the city is lost!” Deimos proclaimed.

“Those men all through the night were greatly outnumbered and outmatched. There was no victory to which there would be any survivors had I not intervened.” I said trying to keep my cool.  “Denethor, your men were lead into a massacre. How is there victory in a fight such as that?”

“Osgiliath was our only line of defense, now it is lost because of you.” Denethor hissed in my face, his hot breath dancing across my skin as he shook with rage.  He turned to go back to his throne as Deimos said.

“If I may have permission my lord, I could teach this Celestial what happens when a soldier goes out of line.” I saw the gleam of a silver blade shine at his hip as his red eyes grew crazed as he stared down at me with a lustful desire for blood.

“Deimos. Out of the two of you the Lady Hela could easily take you down with just the flick of her wrist.” Perses spoke up.  Deimos growled as he turned his attention to Perses.

“And what of you old man? I seem to recall you screaming for mercy as I had you weaponless.”

“What must be taken to order is a punishment that fits the crime. Exile would do no good nor would death even stop the Celestial of Death. Imprisonment is useless for there’s no cell strong enough to keep her.” Perses said.

“Perhaps there is a punishment best fitted for someone of your—stature.” Denethor said with a malicious grin.  “Perses, take her to the East wing and have her fitted for her new duties.” Perses bowed his head then he came down before me and gestured for me to follow him.

Of course Denethor would put me in this position believing it would humiliate me.  Having served as councilor to the King of Gondor, then fought alongside the armies as one of the tower guards, eventually moving up the ranks as Captain.  Some had even called me the Guardian of the White city, but now at Denethor’s command, I have been sentenced to the ranks of scullery maid.

Now wearing mere peasant rags and given a bucket and rag just to clean the very floors of this entire palace.  I dipped my rag into the bucket of water and then proceeded to scrub the floors as hard as I could in order to give it that ‘mirror-like quality’ as per Lord Denethor’s orders.

I wiped the sweat from my brow having already been at this for hours and I let out a deep, heavy sigh.

“This is my thanks to the city?” I scoffed shaking my head.  “To now be no better than a servant and for what? Saving the lives of his own soldiers.”

“It was well noble of you my lady.” I looked up to see Faramir standing at the end of the hall before coming over to me.  “We would have lost double the amount of men had you not come to aid us.” I dropped my rag and wiped my hands against the apron of my raggedy gown and went to curtsy to him.  “Please, none of that my lady Celestial.” I stood naturally as he stood just a few inches from me. “My apologies on his behalf. If it were up to me, you’d be rewarded for your valiant deed, not submitted to such a degree of hard labor.”

“Well your father’s not the first Man to try and degrade me for being a female warrior. And he won’t be the last I’m afraid.”

“I hope as payment, you should at least deserve this back.” He soon handed me my Gondorian armor that I was forced to surrender before being given these rags.  I smiled and took it from his arms and said as I stroked the White tree engraved on the chest plate.

“Truthfully I would’ve thought your father would’ve had this either destroyed or thrown out. I was surprised to see it in such a display and in good condition too.”

“That’s because a young man of the city took great honor in caring for it. A very foolish one. Who wasted many hours slaying dragons instead of attending to his studies.”

“You did that?” I said astounded.

“Yes. When Gandalf told me the stories of the Celestial of Death serving and protecting our city, I knew such an armor had to be taken great care of till she returned.” He then bowed his head to me in respect.

“And I thank you Faramir. If only you had been there when I first made this armor. Most of the men couldn’t believe their eyes, said they’d roll in their graves at the day a woman would be Captain of the Tower guard. And boy did they.” The two of us softly laughed before he told me.

“People doubted me too. Boromir was always the soldier.” His tone grew solemn as he continued, “They were so alike he and my father. Proud, stubborn even, but strong.” I set my armor down to the floor and placed my hand to his shoulder.  The two of us stared into each other’s eyes and I told him.

“Both you and your brother share the same fighting spirit. But I also see in your eyes strength of a different kind. And I know your brother saw it. He spoke so highly of you during our time together.” Faramir’s eyes held a sense of sorrow for the loss of his big brother.

“How did it truly happen?” he asked me.  “I had heard one side from your other hobbit friends that passed through here. Was it truly because of the Ring he died?”

“The Ring tempted your brother and took him yes, but it was not because of the Ring he died. He kept his honor as Captain of the Guard, a true noble warrior and Man of Gondor by aiding me, Pippin and another hobbit friend of ours from an army of Uruk-hai. Saving my life from an Uruk’s blade with two arrows already in his body. It wasn’t until the third arrow that he was unable to fight anymore. Your brother died a hero’s death.��� I watched as Faramir swallowed hardly as he took in the true story of his brother’s death.

“Now I know at least he did not die with darkness in his heart. And that he died the way he would’ve wanted to go. Fighting to his last breath.” I smiled solemnly at him and gave him a soft nod before embracing him.

Almost immediately Faramir embraced me back and I could feel the wetness from his tears as they slowly slid down and landed onto my shirt.  Neither of us spoke a word until I knew his moment of grieving had passed.

After it passed, he offered me a spot to witness Pippin being sworn in as the new guard of the Citadel.  I looked down at the floor and said to him.

“I think your father would greatly see my head on a platter if I were to disobey his orders.”

“You were charged to follow the orders of the Steward and his sons, were you not? By order of Perses.” The way he spoke his name held some sort of venom to it.  So not even Faramir trusts him.

“Aye, that was his command.”

“Then as the youngest son of the current Steward, I order you to stand at my side and watch your friend be sworn in. I have a feeling he’ll need you there for him.” Since it was to be announced that Pippin was going to be sworn in at this very hour, Pippin had been sitting in a shroud of anxiety and insecurity.  He had begged me to write down the oath for him because he had already forgotten what he was supposed to say (of course I obeyed his wish).

“I take it you have met him.”

“Yes. A noble heart your friend has. Even said the same thing you had told me about my strength, as well as my father hoping to see that one day.” I could already see it in his eyes.  Heck even Boromir has told me during our time at Rivendell of how much his father verbally discriminated Faramir for his own victories in favor of his (Boromir’s) own.

Truthfully I hope Pippin’s right.  In my experience with Denethor, they weren’t always in positive light for he held a deep-rooted jealousy and hatred for both Aragorn and myself respectfully during our time here.

“First let me return this armor to my room as well as check on my friend who helped me to aid you.” He nodded and picked my armor back up before handing it to me and I walked off back towards my room where Haldir was mending the wound on his arm.  “You got hurt?” I said racing over to him as I dropped my armor.  He took my hands into his as he assured me.

“Thankfully it was just a graze unlike the wound I had received at Helm’s Deep.” Haldir looked me up and down and he said with venom in his tone. “He didn’t.”

“Afraid so. Been demoted all the way down to scullery maid. Thankfully Faramir is allowing me to see Pippin be sworn in. After all I am to serve not only the Steward but his sons as well, as per Perses’ orders.”

“A loop-hole. Does Denethor know of that slipped detail?”

“One way to find out. You sure you’ll be okay up here on your own for a while?”

“I’ve had my fixture of battle and air for the day. Go and support your friend.” I nodded.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, I promise.”

“I know you will, don’t fret over me.”

“Old habits.” I softly smiled at him and he gave me an encouraging nod to go on my way.  I shut the door and sighed deeply before racing off towards the throne room to meet with Faramir so that we could enter together.

“If my father should question why you left your post, I’ll take the blame.”

“No Faramir, I cannot let—”

“I won’t allow you to be scorned by my father anymore throughout your time here Lady Hela.”

“You are willing to take the rod for me even though we barely know each other?” he nodded.  “And there is no chance I am going to convince you otherwise, is there?”

“If you wish to debate we can, but I get the feeling you’d rather be there for your friend rather than trade words with the Captain of the guard.” He’s clever I’ll give him that.  Druig was the same way when it came trying to out-best any one of us in a debate, especially with Ikaris (boy he loved to toy with him a lot. Same with Hermes).

“You’re very kind Faramir.”

“Only doing what is right my lady.”

“Promise to call me Hela and no longer add any formalities and I’ll willingly keep my mouth shut around your father.” He softly chuckled before we both entered the throne room together side by side.

There we saw Pippin standing just a few feet away from the foot of the Steward’s black throne, some additional court members scattered throughout the room, Perses (as always) at Denethor’s side.

“I thought I had sent you away to have the corridor floors cleaned?” Denethor snapped at me.

“My Lord I ordered her to be my personal handmaid for the time being. As is command, she is to also obey my orders as well.” Denethor sneered then Perses spoke out.

“Yes, so it was as command. But the young woman must refrain from speaking until the initiation has been complete.” I bowed my head in acceptance to Perses (even though I loathed to do it) then he turned his attention back down to Pippin.  “Peregrin Took, son of Paladin Took. You stand before the council and the Lordship of Gondor to pledge your loyalty to this city. Please recite the oath of the tower guard.”

Pippin knelt down with his left knee forward and he soon recited the oath that I had taught him.

“Here do I swear fealty and service to Gondor. In peace or war, in living or dying. F….from…..” C’mon Pip, you know this.  I could hear him faintly muttering the oath under his breath as he continued, “from this hour henceforth until my Lord release me—or death take me.”

“And I shall not forget it.” Denethor said.  He stood up from his throne and stood before Pippin as he held out his ringed finger for Pippin to kiss as he continued, “nor fail to reward that which is given.” Internally I scoffed at Denethor’s demeanor towards Pippin.  I saw as Pippin finally sealed his fate by kissing Denethor’s ring before the Steward cupped his chin to force him to look up at him as he continued, “Fealty with love, valor with honor. Disloyalty with vengeance.”

Denethor walked over towards a large table where various foods had been spread out and I saw his eyes come towards Faramir and I as he said the ‘disloyalty with vengeance’ phrase.  Pippin rose up and turned towards me and I gave him a soft but proud nod.  Denethor snapped his fingers and like a dog I was forced to come over to him.

“Prepare for me the best arrangement of food.”

“Yes my lord.” I spoke lowly as I began reaching out for various food items for him to consume, he then spoke to his son.

“I do not think we should lightly abandon the outer defenses, defenses that your brother long held intact.”

“What would you have me do?” asked Faramir and immediately his father responded.

“I will not yield the river in Pelennor unfought. Osgiliath must be retaken.” Is he crazy? Those men were lucky to get out of there alive just barely this morning and now he’s going to send them back there?!

“My lord Osgiliath is overrun.” Faramir tried to reason with his father but it fell on deaf ears.

“Much must be risked in war.” Why is it when he said that, it sounded like Deimos was talking to him now?  “Is there a captain here who still has the courage to do his lord’s will?” yes me! If you want Osgiliath back, send me! No need to waste anymore lives that had already been lost to you.

Then after a long period of silence, Faramir would say something that would break my heart for the rest of my days.

“You wish now that our places had been exchanged. That I had died and Boromir had lived.” As Denethor picked up a chalice of wine he spoke in a dazed whisper but it held so much truth behind it.

“Yes. I wish that.” My heart broke for Faramir.  All he ever wanted was his father’s approval and love and now to be told this just before you send him off on a suicide mission?! I turned to Faramir and could already see the tears forming in his eyes but he kept a strong face as he said to his Lord.

“Since you were robbed of Boromir…I will do what I can in his stead.” He bowed his head to Denethor and proceeded out of the throne room.  Pippin and I watched in shock and heartbreak at Faramir’s decision to die for a father that openly admitted to wish that he were dead and his eldest son were still alive.  “If I should return, think better of me father.” Faramir said brokenly before walking off again, hoping for one last stretch of love from his father.

But all Denethor said was this in a sneer.

“That will depend on the manner of your return.” Once Faramir was gone, I slammed his tray down, scattering the food and even denting the table itself.

“HE IS YOUR SON!!” I shouted.  “Your only living son no less! How can you treat him this way!?”

“Faramir knows his worth to this city and his family’s name.”

“So you will send him and those men to die for your honor! Have them all die in your name whilst you sit on your arse and engorge yourself in food and wine!”

“They will die doing what’s right for Gondor.” Denethor rose up from his seat as he and I stood almost chest to chest staring each other down.

“Boromir would be ashamed to be your son if he heard what you have told his little brother! He was more of a father than you’ll ever be!”

“And your Celestial kin would be greatly disappointed for you not willing to free them. With all your power and nearly an Age since you became the Last Celestial of Middle Earth. What do you think they would tell you?” I clenched my fists tightly as they shook with rage and I glared at him.

But right now I couldn’t bear to sit behind and watch as Faramir and those brave men throw their lives away.

“Your father and your father’s father roll in their graves. You, Denethor II are an insect amongst men who governed before you.” I knew that would get to him.  His own body shook with rage as I summoned my Celestial armor back over the rags I was forced to wear before retreating to find Faramir but also to contact an old friend for additional help.

*3rd Person POV*

There was silence in the city as the people gathered to watch their soldiers march back to Osgiliath in full Gondorian armor.  But there was no hope in their eyes, nor cheers of praise or good luck, for they all knew that these soldiers would not be coming back alive.

Some began to throw down flowers along the graveled pathway as their horses slowly walked down the city towards the gates.  Some of the soldiers took the flowers from people’s hands as their last gift they would be given.  Suddenly a voice broke through the crowd.

“Faramir! Faramir!” Faramir, who was leading his men up front, turned to see Gandalf walking through the crowd until he came up and walked beside his horse.  “Your father’s will has turned to madness! Do not throw away your life so rashly.”

“Where does my allegiance lie if not here? This is the city of the Men of Númenor. I will gladly give my life to defend her beauty, her memory, her wisdom.” As Faramir spoke, Gandalf could already tell that Faramir had lost all hope in ever obtaining what he longed for most.

The love and approval of his father.  And without it, there was just no sense in trying anymore.  So he’ll do the one thing he can do, die trying.

“Your father loves you, Faramir.” Gandalf assured him as Faramir rode on.  “He will remember it before the end.” Suddenly riding pass through the crowds riding on Boromir’s horse was Hela, with her cloak on and the hood covering her head.  She rode forward and came before Faramir to stop him in his tracks.  Faramir’s horse nickered alarmed but stopped which caused the army to stop.

“Hela, this is not your fight. By order of the Steward’s son, I ask you to step aside.”

“You think you could really order me around, little brother?” she removed the hood to reveal her eyes glowing of pure white light.  Faramir’s soulless eyes began to sparkle with a brief sense of light.

“Boromir.”  Hela’s voice then spoke with both her voice as well as Boromir’s mixed together.

“Hela told me what father has said to you. Please little brother, I know we have been through much together in our lives and you have followed me everywhere but I ask you to cease now. Do not follow me into death.”

“If not me then who will?” asked Faramir brokenly.  “Your reclaim over Osgiliath has fallen because of me. To not fight for your honor would shame me.”

“Forget your honor then!” Boromir’s voice rose.  “I made my choice when I had fallen down my path. You—you have always been smarter than my little brother. For once in your life do not be stupid as I have been!”

“I am sorry brother. But I must do what I can do defend this city.” Faramir then guided his horse around Hela and Boromir’s horse and the men did as their commander did as they finally came to the gates.

“Faramir.” Boromir whimpered as Hela’s eyes returned to normal and she quickly rode back to the palace, her face buried into Boromir’s horse’s mane.

Once the armies of Gondor were out of the city, they formed two long lines and rode onward to the fallen city they had barely escaped from earlier that same day.  The banners of the white tree waving proudly in the breeze as they rode onward. 

Soon the orcs began to emerge from the ruins of the city to see what their next move was.  Even they knew that these men were riding towards their deaths. 

Back inside the throne room, Denethor was eating his meal with Pippin at his side, there was no one else but the two of them and they stood there in silence until Denethor asked Pippin.

“Can you sing master hobbit?” Pippin turned to the Steward and said.

“Well….yes. At least, well enough for my own people. But we have no songs for great halls and—evil times.”

“And why should your songs be unfit for my halls?” Denethor said.  His chin stained with juices from the grapes he had just eaten.  “Come sing me a song.” He then demanded as he kept eating his feast.  Pippin slowly turned his gaze away from the selfish, gluttonous Steward and sung a song that was held in his heart.

Whilst out there on the fields of Pelennor, Faramir lead his army in full charge knowing full well that none of them, not even him would make it out alive.  The orcs of Osgiliath all gathered around the edge of the city and their archers readied their arrows to fire at the oncoming Calvary.

*Pippin*

Home is behind the world ahead

And there are many paths to tread

Through shadow to the edge of night

Until the stars are all alight.

Mist and shadow

Cloud and shade

All shall fade

All shall….

Fade

Arrows whistled and the sound of the thunderous hooves were quickly silenced from the fields.

As Pippin finished his song, he turned to Denethor to see if there was even a hint of any remorse or grief at knowing what he had done.  But Denethor kept that blank stare as he kept stuffing his face with food.  Pippin lowered his head in anguish as he had never felt this level of heart break in his life.

Meanwhile, up in Hela and Haldir’s room; the two were both on the floor up against the bed as Hela wept into Haldir’s lap.  Tears streamed down her face as she could hear every last one of those soldier’s heartbeats stop and felt their souls leave to the great beyond.  Clenching her heart in pain as she tried to suppress the pain but it was all too great for her.

Haldir, could only hold his Celestial in his arms.  Hoping that just being there for her would ease her pain, but he knew deep down there wasn’t anything else he could do for her.  This was a burden that she had to deal with thousands of times, and thousands of times she’ll have to bear it then.

Suddenly she stood up and like a risen corpse, she soullessly walked out of the room to head for the tombs of the Kinds and Stewards of Gondor to seek peace and council with the dead.

*Haldir’s POV*

No matter how hard she tries, no matter how strong she becomes, there will always come pain whenever a soul passes away from Middle Earth, for Hela will always feel it.  And for a ‘Lord of the city’ to send those soldiers to be massacred and not care what happens to them? This is what confuses me about mortal Men.

Why must their pride and stubbornness govern their correct judgement in battle and war? Now all those lives, including his only remaining son are now dead. Who now will defend this city if not Hela? Mithrandir? Or even Denethor himself?

I retook Hela’s cloak and put it back around me and headed out.  I will allow Hela to have some alone time, right now there was a cause of action that needed to be taken.  What Hela and I did when we first came here, find out just who the three council members of Denethor are.

As I walked back towards the underground library, I passed by a room where Perses’ voice spoke up.

“So how many does this make now Nergal?” huh? I quickly raced back and pressed my back against the wall right where the door was cracked open.

“This makes 998 souls in total.” Answered Nergal.

“Grah! Why are we wasting our time with this? We should make our move now!” I heard an unfamiliar voice speak.  Could this be the third one that neither Hela nor I have come across yet?

“What you severely lack is patience Deimos. If we leave in a hurry, Hela and the wizard will think that we’re up to no good.” Answered Perses.

“We have been wasting over 40 years here! If we are to attack, the time is now before the riders of Rohan come!” The voice, Deimos replied harshly.

“The bond between Gondor and Rohan is severely damaged. Thanks to us, Gondor was unable to aid Rohan in their time of need at Helm’s Deep. Theoden wouldn’t dare answer the call to a kingdom who didn’t come to help him.” I heard Nergal say.  “One thing I know is the poison that severs old alliances, mortal pride. And Denethor clearly showed that the loss of his son was greater than that of Rohan’s safety, much less his own city’s.”

Mortal pride? The way Nergal spoke about mortality sounded similar to the way my kin spoke of the world of Men.  Their mortality, their pride, stubbornness, their brief lives.

“Plus we must continue to be cautious. Hela has been poking around trying to figure out just who we are. After all she has been Gondor’s aiding Celestial since the days of Elendil.”

“With the massacre I convinced Denethor to agree on, she’ll be out of commission for a while.” I heard what almost sounded like a lustful moan from behind the door from Deimos “I can still taste the blood in the air.” Deimos said.

“Enough of your demonic pleasures Deimos. We must proceed on with phase 2 of our plan whilst the orcs move into the city. And this time, the Lady Hela will play a big part in our plan.” Perses told him.

“And just how will you convince her? As we have already said, she’s suspicious of us and will not come willingly.” Nergal said.

“Which is why we won’t go for her directly. Deimos, answer this riddle for me; A Mighty warrior goes to war. Unlike those who are of brute strength, this warrior is cunning. He makes more armies surrender than any other soldier before him. How does he do it?” I thought of the riddle in my head but never before have I heard this one.

“The heart. He goes for their heart.” Oh no! Mithrandir and the halfling! I must warn them.  I raced out of the corridor and searched for them throughout the palace but I couldn’t find either of them anywhere! As I came around another corridor I noticed two guards up ahead and saw as they turned to me.

I moved Hela’s hood to cover more of my face and slowly turned back but saw three more guards coming towards me blocking my way out.  With no other choice, I walked a ways out and told the guards in front of me.

“Is there a problem gentlemen?”

“You are the Ranger that accompanied the Lady Celestial to Gondor, are you not?” one of the guards in front of me said.

“If I am? There’s no law against Rangers from entering the city is there?”

“There is if he doesn’t show his face. A man who hides under his cloak like a shadow is a coward, if not an enemy spy.” One of the bigger guards that stood behind me said.

“I assure you I am no spy to the enemy. If anything the spies you seek are within your own council.” I told them.  I evaluated just how many of them surrounded me, their weapons on hand, as well as how they would try to overwhelm me by trying to come at me all at once (as per the usual move men usually do when facing an enemy).

“You’re coming with us, outsider.” Said the tallest guard out of all of them.

“And if I refuse?” I questioned as I slowly reached for my dagger.

“Then we take you by force.” He replied as they all surrounded me from every side, closing any chance of a quick escape.  I eyed all five of them before they all came at me. 

I swiftly took out my dagger and ducked as I sliced at one of their legs, right behind their calves where there was no protection before coming back up and managed to block another guard’s dagger with mine.  Our blades crossed before I threw him back and that’s when I felt a rope come around my neck pulling me back against an armored chest.

I struggled and tried to free myself but my vision was quickly going black.  In one final attempt, I headbutted the guard who had me by the throat which caused him to drop the rope and release me.  Quickly taking a deep gasp of air I grabbed my dagger and tried to throw it at the man who had nearly choked me to death, but something felt off.

My arm was frozen in place.  Suddenly my hand twisted oddly and I was forced to drop my dagger.  As I gripped onto my wrist trying to stop it from bending back any further, my arm suddenly shot to the left then to the right before I felt myself crumbling down towards the ground.

This sensation was unlike anything I’ve ever felt.  It was like my own body was beyond my control.

‘You really thought we’d go for the wizard or the Halfling?’ a voice said in my head.

“Deimos.” I whispered painfully.

‘There’s no one closer to Hela than you, Haldir of Lórien.’ How did he know my true name? I soon felt my hands being forced to grab Hela’s hood and no matter how hard I tried to fight, his will was stronger than mine as I revealed my true identity to the guards.

“Bind him!” Deimos’s voice soon echoed through the room and the guards soon came at me with ropes and shackles.  “Wait!” the guards soon stopped.  “Gag him as well.” Deimos spoke in amusement.  Soon my mouth was forced open by their grubby hands as a rag was forced around my mouth and I was dragged out of the palace like a dog. ‘Now what say we take a little rest for a while?’

Suddenly my senses were hazy as my will to fight, or even move vanished and I felt myself go limp against the guards.

*3rd Person POV*

What was unaware to anyone, including Deimos, was that a small creature had witnessed the whole thing from just behind one of the columns.  That small creature was none other than Pippin.

“Oh no, Mr. Haldir. I’ve got to find Hela!” he quickly ran off to find Hela and tell her what had happened to Haldir.

[whisperinthedeadofnight]

With the final chapter of "Marie" posted, my first multi-chapter fic is now completed. Next week, I will begin posting my other multi-chapter fic, which is much longer. This next fic is one that I've been working on pretty much daily for over a year, so I'm very excited to finally be sharing it!

In my previous general update post, I had expressed hope that I would be able to start posting some of my Parks and Rec Timeline posts within a month, but that didn't end up panning out. I am still hoping to get these posts started soon, but I've been busy and haven't had the time for it yet. Likewise with my fanvids, which are probably a bit further away from being ready but will hopefully be ready at some point in the near future. I've mainly been focusing on finishing the editing for my fics, which has taken a little longer than expected, so I haven't really had time to work on those other projects recently. But I just wanted to say that I haven't forgotten about those other projects and that they will be coming at some point. But I don't want to give an estimate right now since I will probably end up getting it wrong again. So if anybody is following along with this blog and is interested in those projects, I will just say stay tuned! They will be coming eventually, and hopefully sooner rather than later.

In terms of other projects, I haven't had a chance to work on too much new stuff recently. I've mainly been focused on trying to get the editing for the fic that I will start posting next week across the finish line. It probably won't be fully completed before I start posting it, but I am probably about 90% done with the editing. And it is only the later chapters that still need to have the editing finished, so I will be good to start posting the early chapters and will definitely have the editing completed before I need to post those later chapters. The editing for that fic has consumed most of my time lately, so I will be looking forward to being able to work on some new stuff once it is completed.

My next fanfiction project will be from a couple of fic exchanges that I have entered. I will be writing fics as gifts to other writers based on their requests and will be receiving fics based on my requests as gifts in exchange. I'll keep it vague because the fics in these exchanges are supposed to remain anonymous until authors are revealed a little while after the works are revealed. But I will be writing some things outside of my usual April/Andy focus. Though I may be receiving some April/Andy fics written by other authors as my gifts, so it may still end up contributing something back to the fandom. It should be interesting to try writing some new things and go outside of my usual writing comfort zone. I will share those fics on here once they are no longer anonymous, but I don't know the exact date of when that will be. But once I finish my current editing, these exchange fics will likely be my new focus (but they shouldn't be as time-consuming, so I will hopefully be able to work on other things on the side).

Outside of those exchanges, my focus will still remain on Andy/April. I do have a shorter multi-chapter work-in-progress fic that I have been working on on the side that is close to completion, so I will hopefully have that one edited and ready to go by the time that I have finished posting my next multi-chapter fic. Aside from that, I do have a couple of one-shots that I have completed and still need to edit. I should hopefully be able to get those out at some point too. After these, I am brainstorming several ideas for my next Andy/April fic, but haven't decided definitively yet. But I do plan to continue writing for them and will hopefully have some more cool content for them coming up in the future.

[selarina]

Warmth

→ Levi Ackerman x Fem!Reader

Chapter 1

Series Masterlist | AO3 link

Summary: Levi comes to understand second chances, dreary yearning, and comfort.

Chapter summary: Seven months after the incident, Levi is still experiencing the effects of his injury. Oh, and he misses you.

Word Count: 5.3k words

Content Warnings: childhood friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual smut, description of injuries, headaches, levi is injured, high school au, eventual college au, possibly medically inaccurate

(warnings will be added as I progress with the story)

Author's Note: Well, it's finally here. There's a prologue painting a picture of how the injury happened. It's linked on my pinned post but I'll create a masterlist for this series soon.

Final year of high school

Levi entered the otherwise crowded cafeteria, looking misplaced in the vibrant crowd. He was clad in his monochrome outfit, a neutral expression gracing his face. He never really understood the practicality of the placement of the tables here, but now, he has a newfound appreciation for their erratic placements that make each table far apart from the others.

He has to push himself to regain consciousness to pause from glaring at his dismal excuse for lunch. At his first glance at the hall, he discerns the blur of a bright red standing out to him unusually. Blinking away the blurriness, he notices an even brighter, golden hair that is accompanying the wearer.

He is turning towards Levi now. It isn’t like he can make a run for it now. Fuck.

"Levi, come over", Erwin yells out to him upon easily distinguishing Levi in the crowd. He espies the other occupant accompanying him on the table, their clamorous energy detectable from a mile. Hange.

He ignores his invite, making his way over to a table that is relatively unoccupied and closer in proximity.

Now, Levi could be a dick sometimes, but he wouldn't normally do anything like that, but his head was aching more than it usually did, and the Tylenol he took this morning didn’t help with shit. He was irritable, more than usual, at least. He wasn't really looking forward to their sorrowful expressions when he would inevitably have to ask Hange to tone it down. He doesn't see why it was warranted with him when they didn't give Miche the same shitty look when he asked.

He captures the sound of giggling before he can see it – two people, he presumes. He hopes they’ll walk past his table. He takes notice of his feet tapping, he sets a hand down on his thigh to still his unbeknown motion. Looking up again, he resumes tapping his feet, with more evenness this time.

Two girls approach his table, evidently oblivious of his presence. The first girl with auburn hair that looks crispy enough to burn in the sun, looks up at him. She holds his eyes for only a second before she is getting her plate up in haste, almost as quickly as she set it down on the table. The other girl whose features he did not bother taking into account, follows suit, but she seemed fairly confused.

He couldn’t say he blamed them. 7 months after the incident and Levi’s a really shitty person.

"He’s having a character development moment. I forgive you for your rude comments, Levi.", Isabel beamed out to Furlan, who has been visibly expressing his distaste towards Levi’s change in behavior. “But say something like that again, and I will be kicking your shin”, her grin only grows wider at that and he finds himself finding it plausible enough to happen.

Isabel’s fully convinced he’ll find the light of life, and change his entire being or something along those lines. Levi thinks he’ll get there when his head will stop its throbbing.

He’s not really aiding his case though, he doesn't sleep at night. But, he would if he fucking could, okay? With the aid of drowse-induing meds, the headaches become mildly bearable but they don’t cease to fully exist.

To reach the horrible conclusion: he doesn’t sleep to cease the headaches and he can’t sleep at night because of the headaches. It’s a real fucking paradox.

A few minutes into his introspection, he notices a figure in his peripheral vision. They come and seat themselves across him.

He looks up begrudgingly, putting no effort to conceal the harshness in his expression.

It’s you.

It's you.

He is looking at you, eyes unblinking, and capturing for long, few seconds. He is waiting for you to say something. He’s certainly not going first. I mean, what’s he supposed to say? I’m sorry for pushing you away all this time. I miss you. Please leave me alone. I want you back. Please.

The two of you just stare at each other and Levi’s starting to feel awkward. He thinks he should probably say something, but it was you who came to him. You probably came with a certain intention.

You look pretty, he notes meanwhile. Well, you always did look appreciable as a person when subjected to the judgment of appearances, but you looked pretty today.

Maybe it’s an added effect of the long gap since he last saw you in person. He has noticed you in hallways since the two of you stopped talking, but he usually just brushed past you, so there was not enough time to notice much. Like how your hair has grown and has gotten a bit uneven since he last saw you, or how the top you’re wearing is something he hasn’t seen ever before.

He doesn't think he deserves to look at you anyway, so he averts his gaze back at his lunch, as he's practiced for the previous several months.

You are still not saying anything – he looks up again, only to see if you were still there. You were.

You look older, as is expected with time. But there was something suffocating about you, he didn’t feel suffocated in your presence. He just found that you looked suffocated, in your posture. Your shoulders were tightly bunched like you were mulling over something. You're fidgeting with your hands, with the sleeve opening of your long-sleeve shirt. It looks warm and comfortable on you, but you don't look comfortable in it.

He hopes it isn’t because of him, but it most likely is.

“Hi”, at the sound of that, he almost stood up to walk away.

“Hey”, he replied flatly.

“Luna misses you. You should come over to see her, she’ll appreciate it”, you mirror his flat tone, leisurely inspecting your nails. A calming mechanism, he remembers.

Right, your dog misses him. She probably does, but how would you know? Maybe you do know. He recalls being 12 years old, convinced that you could read Luna’s mind.

Now, he’s not sure why he is saying this because he could just get up and leave, it wouldn’t be out of character. It certainly wouldn't make situations worse than it already is for the two of you. But it’s you and he misses you and your dumb dog.

“Today?”

“Today”, you honor him with a faint smile. It's been a while since he's seen you sporting that, even if it does look rather contained when in comparison to the wide toothy grin he's used to seeing.

You rush to join a couple of your friends after adding, “Wait for me after school, I’ll be out at 3. Enjoy your lunch.”

He remembers them, your friends, but he doesn’t really care for them at this moment. He isn’t sure what to make of this. He's not sure if this is a second chance at relighting your friendship with him, maybe it’s closure, or maybe it’s actually just your dog missing him and he’s reading into it. He's not sure about anything at this moment.

–

After school, he waits outside the campus, underneath the cherry blossom tree. It’s where you usually met him back when the two of you would walk back home together every day. He’s not sure if you even remember to come here but he waits here anyway. Because maybe he didn’t want you to show up at all.

Or maybe he wanted to know if you still remembered your everyday routines when it involved him, maybe that would make him feel less shitty about himself or even worse. He can't tell.

His head's fucking pounding against his skull, and he can call this off and go home now. He can. But he’s feeling braver and rather desperate, so he waits instead.

He moves a few steps forward to step away from the shade, standing right beneath the faint sunlight. It’s warm enough to serve somewhat as a palliative for his headache. It gradually dispels the anxieties he has managed to accumulate over the day. It felt familiar, the warmth, like he could stand in it for hours while slowly melting into a pool of warmth himself.

He averts his head slightly, watching as the group of students leave the gate with their respective friends, and he thinks maybe the familiarity lies with waiting for you after school.

“Ready to go?” an overly breathy voice reaches him from behind.

You are 15 minutes late, which was to be expected. It’s why he showed up 10 minutes late himself. You and your shitty time management habits manage to piss people off to no end, but he’s used to it. He knows that when you said 3, you actually meant 3:10.

Well, maybe he miscalculated because you arrived at 3:15, but it’s been a while since he’s had to consider you in his routine.

He nods but does not turn to face you. He’s not necessarily eager to experience the influx of desperation all over again, as he did in the cafeteria. He's sure he cannot avoid your gaze for the rest of the day but he'll try for as long as he can.

After a five-minute walk in silence, barring the frequent sound of cars passing by, the two of you arrive at your doorstep. And suddenly, he feels guilt. He realized he didn’t just abandon you, he abandoned your family. The one that nurtured him with love over the years.

With the fresh orange slices that your father placed for the two of you every evening, even though Levi knew it was more for him than for you.

With the fresh linen sheets, your mother laid out for him whenever he stayed over when his mother asked for them to let him stay. He insisted on staying alone at his house, yet he invariably ended up in your linen-clad guest room bed.

With twitching his lips into a rare smile at your brother’s initial awestruck expression from when Levi agreed to help him practice for the try-outs.

With your dumb dog’s ever-growing curiosity for the most mundane shit ever when she would accompany him on walks because you were too lazy to take your own dog on a walk.

With the warmth that emanated from your room, from when you would force him to sneak into your room from the guest room. You would both lie on your bedroom floor at 2 am, thinking and feeling like poetry. As you got up to open up the window, he would watch the ceiling, as the cool night drifted in to engulf him with warmth, not the warmth that came from the searing sun but the warmth that came from the comfort you leisurely provided for him.

“You can leave your shoes on the rack outside, and you can use the washroom to your left to clean up.”, you say and Levi wants to tell you that he knows, he’s done this only a thousand times, but he thinks that would piss you off, which would piss him off, in turn.

He just nods and does what he’s told.

He can hear your muffled greeting to your brother who seats himself on the living room's pale sandy fawn sofa. He might be leaving for practice, as Levi peaked a brief glimpse of the familiar sportswear. He feels guilt, yet again. He isn't sure how many of your brother's matches he has missed at this point, but he believes your brother would understand. That isn't as reassuring as it seems, it makes him feel all the more worse.

He steps out of the washroom and he feels a bit out of place and finds that your brother isn’t there anymore. He must have taken off, ever the hard worker.

“Water?” you gesture to the empty cup in your hand. “No, thank you”, he says as though he’s not parched.

The air feels comfortable to be in, his headaches a bit mellow.

“Where’s Luna?”, he wants to get this over with. He has an inkling that you didn’t just call him because you could read Luna’s fucking mind. Luna’s an idiot and has most likely mistaken Nile for Levi. He wonders if Nile has been here. He finds solace in the fact that he couldn't have possibly been here more than Levi has. And now he wants to punch himself because he was very close to actually doing the math of the years in his head.

As though you were all part of a well-timed play, Luna comes dashing through at the mention of her name. She knocks Levi down in less than three seconds, and he attempts to contain his hissing, but everything still fucking aches.

He's not as agile as he once was, and if he's being honest, his legs forsake him more often than not. He can no longer impulsively decide to walk over to Furlan's apartment only to save money on gas; he can't afford to, as his legs would give up halfway through the journey.

He tries not to focus on the throbbing sensation his head inconveniently provides him. He has to go through with this. It’s the least he could fucking do.

He feels compelled to grovel and beg for forgiveness. And, besides, he's already on his knees for you right now, but he’s not sure if he’s deserving of the opportunity to beg for it.

He feels Luna’s weight shift on his leg and he’s preventing himself from leaving out the yelp that almost left his mouth.

“Levi! Are you uncomfortable? Is Luna hurting you?” you move towards him with worry etched onto your features. It’s the first time you’ve abandoned the monotone today, intonation adjoining your sentences.

The light is unflattering on your face from this angle. You look nice, even still.

Fucking hell. He forgot about how active your dog was. He contains another hiss as he feels her press against his ankle this time.

“I’m fine. I’ll be leaving now. I hope my services satisfy your dumb dog”, he sets himself on his feet, gently pushing Luna away with his hands as he ignores the way he felt his head dizzy in motion.

You gasp. Ever the histrionic. "She. Is. Not. Dumb," you say emphatically, tortuously accentuating every word.

At that, he rolls his eyes quite emphatically for someone who called you histrionic. He waits for it. Your face is scrunching up, your eyelids reaching the apple of your cheeks. Here we go-

“You’re a remarkable, curious, truly gifted, and exceptionally exceptional dog. Aren’t you, baby?”

It's your version of a dog voice that always manages to send him into a cardiac implosion. He convinced himself that your house had residues of some weird cardiac-inducing substances littered around the living room during the initial few times he started witnessing the horror that was your dog voice. It took him three years to come to the conclusion that he might be possibly inclined towards liking your voice when it comes out all uncaring and affectionate. And…cute.

You turn to him and he feels like it’s been forever since you actually looked at him. “I’m dropping you back”, you add despite rushing back to the kitchen.

“I live next door. I can walk myself just fine”, he says as he stands up to brush off specks of fur, but you’re quick, holding a brindle-colored cloth bag and heading out the door, as though his protests seem to fall to ostensibly ignorant ears.

The two of you reach his doorstep and you make no move to join him inside. He’s glad you didn’t barge in like you usually used to, his place doesn’t exactly live up to his cleaning standards, and he doesn’t really want you of all people to witness that.

“Here, take this”, you hand him the bag you carried from the kitchen. “It’s soup, the one dad used to make. I tried to make it myself so for all I know, it’s, uhh, terrible”, you add for his own safety.

“Could have just given me some from Sunday’s batch”, he was genuinely confused.

Your father always made soup on Sundays to give some out to the homeless shelters, it was a weekly tradition that you adopted at the age of 6. But when Levi came into the picture, your dad would save some leftover soup for him. Just like that, it became this tradition between the two of you.

He would leave after practice and come over to your place, disrupting the thoughtfully organized wood pieces that you carved your engravings on. Ever the opportunist, you were planning on selling them and saving money for food. It would piss you off when he would walk in abruptly, he didn’t necessarily do anything but it would still disrupt your mind, and you would get jittery and annoyed. He would go to the kitchen and get you some soup. You would immediately go back to the way you were when nothing happened but he would still be forced to take home all the ruined engraving you made when he was gone to fetch the soup. Not that he was complaining really. They were abominations. Too unsymmetrical for his tastes but you made them.

You don't provide a response to his inquiry.

“I’ll see you, Levi”. He watches as you step back to take your leave. You eye the bag that sits neatly in his arms, jerking your head up to meet his eyes. He looks away at the tree standing at a distance. He misses the sad smile on your face as you turn to take your leave.

He goes to bed with warm soup calming his mind, hoping he’ll really see you again.

–

He does see you again. You appear from time to time to join him for lunch. You don't initiate conversations, other than brief small conversations about the class before or after lunch. He interprets this as a message not to start anything himself, no matter how much he wants to. He doesn't understand why you felt the urge to rekindle your friendship. Is he even allowed to call it that? But he realizes he shouldn't be questioning what he's been wanting all along.

Somedays, you accompany him on walks back home, and on some nights, he can sleep for a good three hours, which is a lot for Levi.

He wouldn’t claim that the two of you are back to the way you were before everything took place, but he believes that even a semblance of your return contributes to something. He’s not entirely sure what that is, but he has an inkling. And he's certain that just thinking about it would cause him to have a full-fledged panic attack. So he doesn't, but it sneaks up on him on a few sleepless nights.

He decided to take a nap, or rather his body chose to lose against his exhaustion today. After all, three hours of sleep is not exactly ideal either. But he focuses on the progress aspect of it.

Waking up from his nap. He is greeted by the strident sound of his phone ringing, he really needs to change it from the default setting. He hates it. He lets it ring because he needs time to reconnect with reality, but mainly because he knows it might be Kenny. It is a Saturday after all, occasional check-ups from Kenny were frequent on a rare few Saturdays. He knows he should pick up, but he’s also aware it’ll just contribute to him feeling shittier somehow.

He uses his core muscles to rise up, not straining his feet. He makes himself lean against the headboard, cushioning his hair, and ruffling it erratically at the back as he moves around to find the right comfortable spot. He is accustomed to not waking his neck first, it hurts to do so sometimes. He’d rather not take the chances.

Glaring at his phone to adjust his eyes, he recounts the fact that it was a Saturday and glances back at the clock to notice that he has slept through lunch. Then, he hears a ping! from his phone.

9 messages and 1 missed call

He’s finally using his phone now. He’s not entirely happy with his whole experience with the device but you’ve been texting him as of recently.

He reluctantly opens his messages.

Erwin Smith (Paradise High School)

4:09 pm: We are meeting today at Trost Cafe. We may watch a movie at Nanaba’s after. You’re welcome to refuse, but we would like it if you could make it.

Hange Zoe (Paradise High School)

4:15 pm: LEVI

4:15 pm: LECVI

4:15 pm: LEVI

4:17 pm: i know erwin told you already but i wanted to let you know that we,re going to Nanaba’s and that tea shop you reallu like is nearby so you can buy some if you show up todayyy

4:17 pm: pluss you get to see me. isnt that a delight on its own (￣∇￣)

Brat

4:30 pm: hey levi, I can’t join you today since I’m meeting up with the group

4:30 pm: unless, I see you there?

Hange Zoe (Paradise High School)

4:32 pm: LEVI i can see that youre online you know!!!

4:32 pm: ALSO, she’s coming today so you should consider it!

She.

He doesn’t get why Hange thinks he’ll show up just because you’re showing up. He doesn’t like the implication of that. He really needs to block Hange, but he can never bring himself to do it – just in case something happens. He will end up muting her chats after today though.

—

Against his better judgment, he agrees to attend. He's dressed in a well-thought-out outfit, consisting of a black shirt and black slacks. Truly revolutionary for the fashion industry. He likes the way it feels on his skin, okay? He’s keenly aware that it sits on him. He’s also barely aware that it’s there at times. It just works.

He barely remembers going up and greeting the group. However, he vividly remembers that you were wearing that ring he bought for your 16th birthday. It’s nothing grand, it’s a simple, randomly engraved silver ring that is now lacking its luster, blemished with darker shades of grey along the edges of the engravings, he cannot help but think of a certain uncanny resemblance.

He pushes that thought away to focus on the ring. He remembers how you told him you wanted opulence on your 16th birthday, as though that occasion meant something more than it actually meant to you. He’s certain it was the peer pressure aspect of it all, but he wasn’t going to falter from giving you what you asked for.

Time passes and he’s suddenly beside Miche at Miche’s fairly clean apartment, but he can't stop staring at that ring on your distinctive finger. It’s consistently there, adorning your finger throughout his evening, it was grounding. Social situations sap him out, but he always had you to tether him, in a way. You didn’t necessarily do anything for him. He was simply content with knowing that you will be around, even if it was a harmless birthday party. For the time being, he is content with your ring.

He looks away to make note of how comical everything looks right now – Hange is figuring out how to play the movie they rented out, with Moblit trying to ensure none of the wires get cut in the process. Miche looks seemingly misplaced, even though it is his house. He puts the effort to turn around to notice Erwin salting a tomato, he moves to pick up a handful of walnuts right after, and at the addition of that into the dish, Levi loses his appetite.

He turns back to witness Moblit trying to snatch the CD from Hange’s hand, he scrunches his nose slightly. He looks back at your hand, now drawing circles on your jean-clad thigh.

He shudders at the thought of being able to seek them out if he truly wanted to. He could just walk over and reached out for your hand, feel the balanced weight of your fingers against his own marred and blemished hands. Though, he isn’t certain what would happen after.

Usually, he isn’t one to think greatly about what could happen or what could have happened but you — you make him think about both of these impossible situations that he has seemingly deemed unworthy of his regret. He despises it but he can’t stop thinking about it, like a parched man craving for the taste of water more and more as he longs for it.

“Ugh, not this movie again”, Miche almost whines shortly before he catches your glare.

Shape eyes shooting daggers, mouth parting to defend its honor.

Levi feels his lips curling into a smile at that. He isn’t sure what it is about this dumb movie that you like so much, not when the main character in the movie is a total piece of trash – in Levi’s opinion.

“Flipped is a work of art at its finest, most purest form that we get to see for the millionth time –” Miche switches his tone of exasperation to one that is meant to tease. “– all thanks to you madame”, accentuating the last word with a slight French accent.

He reaches for your hand and gently taps it with his own, a stupid boyish grin gracing his face.

Levi shifts in his seat, getting up as he decides to help Erwin.

—

“I can’t see shit”, Hange tugs at Levi’s jacket. Unfortunately for Levi, he downgraded when he left his seat to help Erwin in the kitchen because he’s next to Hange now, who won’t stop fidgeting in their seat.

“I’ve been telling you to get your shitty vision checked since you were 12". He’s not exaggerating.

“Go sit on the floor if you want dumbass”

“But it’s cold”, pouting for no one to see because it is pitch black, aside from the faint light from the screen of the TV that illuminates their face.

“Oi”, Hange calls out your name loud enough to have broken you from your trance-like state.

Levi’s certain you were running through the dialogues in your head like the madman you are. “Switch seats with me. Pretty please?”

You don’t say or make any moves to indicate an answer of any sort.

Levi’s not sure he’s holding his breath but he silently sighs when you wordlessly get up and place yourself next to him.

From his peripheral vision, he notices the bright light illuminating your face, more prominently than it did with Hange. Or maybe he’s just more aware of your features, which is why he can fill in the blanks of what’s not visible.

He makes the mistake of slightly tilting his head because he catches you looking at him. He’s thankful for the dark state of the room.

“Need something?” At that, you simply look away. He looks away too. He wants to leave now but at the same time, he just wants to exist in this moment, but only in this millisecond of a moment. Next to you having just acknowledged his presence in a way, with his boisterously annoying and maybe, endearing friends. It’s unfamiliar but familiar.

So much has changed but at this specific moment, nothing has. He’s 12 again, having just warmed up to his newly acquainted friends, he’s happy you’re still friends with him somehow, his mother’s laying out snacks that he helped her set up, he’s happy and you’re there. And he's happy she’s there.

Levi knows this is the part of his life where he either redefines the people in his life and the relationship he has with them or alternatively – he moves on from said people.

He doesn't want either, or maybe he just wants it to come easily, for once. Like water flowing against the grovel, he wants it to happen at its own natural pace, whether it’s rough or smooth sailing is up to the higher forces or whatever. But then again, maybe the natural aspect of it all involves him putting effort into making a decision.

—

“We should do this more often”, Erwin earnestly expresses as he searches for his coat in the pile of coats no one bothered to organize.

“Levi! You should come more often, we do this almost every week now, as you know. And we miss you”, Hange’s hugging him now and he lets her. He counts for 5 seconds instead, hoping he’ll get acquainted with the abrupt physical contact, or maybe she’ll get off by then.

She does.

“Yeah, my mother was asking about you the other day. She misses your-”, Miche starts. “Er, jovial presence?” he reluctantly continues to conclude, voice wavering at Levi’s hard expression directed at him.

Levi’s mildly annoyed, he’s even more annoyed at how he’s just proving the point of his joke.

You snicker at that.

And like a moth drawn to a flame, he can’t help but seek you out.

You’re walking over to the coat hanger, procuring two coats, hands delicately brushing off the invisible specks of dust.

He notices his coat. He’s also pleased to label the other beige-colored one as yours. He's pleased that used the coat hanger, unlike the other idiots in the other room.

After stating goodbyes and ignoring Hange’s attempts to ensure he shows up next weekend, they all go their separate ways.

–

“Walk home with me?”

“Okay”, he responds, almost readily and that's how he finds himself walking side-by-side. It's been 5 minutes of silence, with removal of the external noises around them - boots against the snow, cars speeding through, wind breezing through.

It’s comfortable, serene even. He can barely hear his throbbing head today.

He’s feeling content. He feels as though he's content enough to possibly do something that could change his current state.

He’s thinking and thinking and thinking.

He can feel the throbbing of his head creeping in a nearby corner, waiting like a hungry monster, lurking to take him away.

“Well, I’ll see you then”, you say.

You’ve reached your destination, you’re moving, in and out of your front gate ever so slightly.

50 meters more and he can happily slip into the sleekness of his oddly shaped pillow.

He should just go and rejoice on a decent day in a long time. He should.

You're moving now, moving towards the front of your door.

He makes a sound that's actually supposed to come out as a “Hey”.

“Yes?” you raise your eyebrows expectantly.

"Well," he continues to stare at you in silence, begging for you to just read his mind. As though you were actually reading his mind, you’re starting to trudge towards him now.

You’re standing face to face now, head slightly tilted, hair slightly untamed from the long evening.

He says nothing.

You scoff, ever so lightly. He catches it, but still, he says nothing.

Nothing, when you begin to walk back towards your front door. Face somber. No doubt disappointed at yet another one of his inactions.

“I miss you”

You stop. His heart is fucking throbbing. He can actually feel it.

He's waiting. He's waiting for one of the possibilities to come true - a confrontation, a demand for an explanation, a warning, an end.

Instead you say, “Me too, Levi”.

You begin your feet, shifting closer and closer to him, moving your head, you place your head on his shoulders – forehead against the clavicle of his shoulders.

You look up, so close to his face. Your fingers brush ever so slightly against his hip, he hopes it burns against his skin.

You engulf him into a hug, one he’s so familiar with. He cannot help but give into his sense of craving , cooing at him, asking – no, begging for him to reciprocate.

“I missed you so much”

[jarfulloftears]

when there's no more room in hell [7/7]

find the masterlist & playlist here!

the following chapter includes: vulgar language, vampirism, and gore.

author's note: as we move into our final installment, I just want to thank y'all for the love y'all have shown for this short story. it has really become one of my favorites to write, so much so that I'll be expanding the No More Room universe by diving deeper into not only Nala/Zyà and Cortez's story but the undead society at large as well as a few of Nala's former friends from the living world. I'm still working out the details, but this will most likely be posted on Wattpad, at some point! More details will be coming much later, but in the meanwhile, I hope you all enjoy this last chapter and the rest of the spooky season!

word count: ~5k

I pumped the runway with pounding heels although no step nor stomp was a match for the wall-shaking deep house that blared on. 

I wore a pair of shades, this being one of my favorite accessories in the entire collection. I was thankful that my favorite overall look had been saved for last. 

Going out with a bang was my forté, and though the attire was a bit understated, it varied widely from the more flavorful pieces in the collection. 

It was an all white ensemble that accentuated my figure without completely flaunting it. Not to mention, it paired nicely with my new ‘do. 

All eyes were on me as I strutted, removing the shades just before more camera flashes sparkled from the depths of an audience. 

I kept my eyes forward as I reached the end of the catwalk. 

Pose. Pivot. Glasses. Pose. Pivot. Walk. Spin for one last look. Walk. 

Soon enough, that was that. I walked the catwalk one last time, falling in line with the other models and applauding Cortez as he came out and took a gracious bow. 

He was met with much love, and such sentiments spilled during his after party. It was a quiet, close-knit function. Cortez hated being around too many people at once, and found it only necessary to celebrate the collection with only the people who helped make it happen. 

Besides, we’d be around plenty of people tonight, at Micah’s birthday soirée. Now was the time to enjoy the calm before the storm. 

“You did amazing,” Cortez handed me a glass of champagne. 

“Me? Your work was amazing. The graffiti jacket with the Baroque twist? I’ma need that,” I affirmed as his hand found the curve of my back. 

“Thanks,” he smiled slightly. 

“No, thank you for the opportunity, Mr. Ryan Thomà.”

He chuckled lightly just as I did, sipping from my glass although my thirst for something else was growing. 

Cortez’s was too, which was made evident by his drumming fingertips. 

“The wait won’t be too much longer,” I whispered to him. 

“I’m just anxious… and hungry,” he took his glass to the head. 

“Me too, but we got this… We can stop and get a snack before we head over, if you want,” I offered. 

“Nah, nah. I wanna keep as much of my appetite as I can,” he refuted. “Besides, I’m sure Lily will have as many finger sandwiches or whatever-the-fuck at the party to hold me over for a little bit.”

I watched him as he pinched the bridge of his nose. There was a migraine coming on, one that only had one remedy. 

I wanted to ease his pain, wishing he could feed off of me but I wasn’t sure how that worked with us both being undead. 

“Tezzy, really. We can go, if you want,” I rubbed his arm through the soft material of his blazer. 

He insisted he was fine, but I didn’t want to take my chances. I forced him around, saying our goodbyes and ensuring that he’d see everyone at Micah’s party. 

Soon enough, I was driving him home and whipping up some meat and blood for him. With everything still in pouches, I picked at plastic wrap and blood bags before messily cleaning and rinsing items and quickly assembling a plate and glass for him. 

“Look at’chu,” he gave me a full smile as I knelt next to him. I tossed him on to the couch upon entry into our home, and he was sprawled just as I’d left him. 

“In sickness and in health, huh?” He was too busy joking to open his mouth for a bite of chicken. 

“Cortez,” I deadpanned before just lifting his head to my bosom and bringing the food even closer to his lips. 

He ate until the plate was nothing but bones and drank until the glass was nothing but empty. 

“I’ma let you rest for a little bit, alright? I’m gonna start getting ready,” I informed him. 

“Thanks for gettin’ me home and fed,” he took my hand into his just as I stood up. 

“Of course,” I shrugged before turning to leave the room. 

“Chill for a sec,” he requested, although his unloosened grip was enough to keep me where I was. 

“You know it takes me forever to get ready,” I reminded him as he beckoned me onto his lap. 

“This won’t be long,” he pulled my body against his as I straddled him. 

Our hands were laced, the golden band he gifted me shining. 

“You gave any more thought to this?” He kissed the stone. 

“I already told you yes.”

“You told me I was crazy too.”

“Yeah, I did. Twice. But I still said yes.”

“So, say yes twice.”

“Bye, Cortez,” I started to stand. His wrap on me swiftly tightened. 

I looked into his eyes, seeing just how serious he was. 

“Even with what I said to you, last night?” I questioned how he could still feel so deeply for me. 

He nodded, not an ounce of hesitancy in his heart. 

“Even if I—”

“You know my answer. You’ve known it since the night you came back to me… Now, I’m asking you to let me know yours.”

“Cortez… like forever?”

“For as long as you’ll have me.”

“What if I fuck you over?”

“I can handle it.”

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”

“But I want to.”

“But—”

“Nala, if it’s a no, just say so.”

“And if it is a no?”

“Then it is what it is.”

“I don’t want to be without you.”

“Then don’t be.”

I knew my answer, yet I struggled to say it outright. 

All I could do was kiss him, kiss him like I’d never see him again. 

Soon enough, I was getting ready for tonight. I wore black, accessorizing with gold, of course. 

I stared at my engagement ring for a long while, rubbing at the stone and pondering my forevermore. 

“Oo-wee! Look at’chu,” Cortez’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. 

He wore what felt like the reimagining of a traditional tux. He would make quite the groom. 

“Come here. Let me see you,” he beckoned me to stand from the couch— it’d been a rare instance where I ended up waiting on him rather than the other way around. 

An ankle-length bodycon dress was painted onto me while long sleeves with a Morticia Addams flare waved like flags with my every movement. The statement piece however was a cut out that put my cleavage and full sternum on display.

It was sexy. It was a bit gothic. It had Zyà written all over it. 

“Goddamn,” Cortez was doing a great job of adding to my confidence as he spun me around. 

“I’ma have a hard time parting from you tonight,” he shook his head. 

“I could say the same,” I released his hand to smooth over his lapels. 

“You ready?” he inquired, hands on my hips as he searched my gaze. 

I nodded. 

“No turnin’ back, baby.”

“No turnin’ back,” I affirmed with a toothless grin. 

We were gone. 

We arrived. 

Cortez proceeded to enter the large home without me, making it a point to be seen by many. 

Knowing that it wouldn’t be long before he’d be made to leave— either because of the friend group’s uncomfortability due to speculations about my murder or Micah’s own insecurities, whichever came first— it would rule out any suspicion of Cortez’s involvement in what would soon be Micah’s demise. 

He’d find his way back inside at some point, but in the meanwhile, I was sneaking in. 

I made my way inside through a side entrance, a doorway often used in the height of Micah and I’s affair. 

I slipped past company, who were too liquored up and too involved in their own conversations to notice me ascending a staircase to Micah’s study. 

It was a library sized room, a wall of books on one side and a lounge area complete with a fireplace on the other. 

A rush of memories surged as I ran my fingertips along the furniture and sculptures. 

This was the site of our very first relation, a passionate and heartbroken kiss stolen in the wake of what seemed like a very real breakup with Lily. 

Of course, things escalated. From the desk to the sofa to the windowsill. And the next day, they were back together. 

And just that quickly, I had become his doll to be taken out and played with at his every whim. And I fell for every excuse every time— they were on a break, they had a fight, he felt so alone. 

After a year, I stopped caring about excuses. And six months after that, he stopped giving them, and our relations were no longer justified by puny circumstances. 

We’d enjoy one another for no other reason other than it was a Tuesday. And as he started confessing his love for me— love that proved purely conditional and transactional— I developed what I thought were mutual feelings. 

He promised that he would leave her for me. That I would be the one settling down with him. That together, we would build an empire. 

But then Lily’s mom got sick. He couldn’t leave her then. 

Then the company he co-owned took a hit in stock. He couldn’t afford to build the life he wanted for us. 

It was one obstacle after another prolonging our union, and soon enough, there wasn’t a union in sight for us. 

He fucked me, and as he got dressed, he told me that we were done. Just like that.

No warning. No goodbye. Just “Ayo, this was fun. Me and Lily are gettin’ pretty serious, so lose my number.” 

Apparently, being six months away from a wedding only constituted being “pretty serious” — not as literally being engaged.

And I was pathetic enough to not accept that. I blew his phone up until he changed his number. I popped up on him at his own fiancée’s party.

Previous to that, I even popped up at this very home, having to endure the brass knuckles of his brother’s verbal abuse. 

No wonder Micah was the way he was. His brother was even worse than him, and he was the only person Micah had had since he was a teenager. 

Yes. It was all coming back to me. Not only the memories but the feelings attached to them. Fury and sadness and hatred. So much hatred, and so much of it didn’t even belong to me.

It was hatred that he held for me. 

I just thought he liked to fuck me like he hated me, but it was evident in the way he spoke to me, in the way he treated me, in the way he would embarrass me— he hated me. Like, for real. 

He hated how much he needed me to make him feel like a man. He hated how I dressed. He hated how he could only own me in private. He hated his own life. He hated being an heir. He wanted to be as free as me and hated me because I could and he couldn’t. 

That’s why he wanted to dominate so much of me. It made him feel powerful, being able to put me on a leash, knowing that we all had to answer to someone, and my someone was him. 

I reflected on our many affairs as I poured myself a glass of whiskey. 

That sick smirk of his. That fiery glare he’d give me. That grip he would put on my neck. The bruises. 

There was nothing I couldn’t handle. After all, I was a big girl, and there was nothing I wouldn’t do for Micah. 

Not even when he got me pregnant. 

You can imagine how that ended, and yet, I never ran. 

I was waiting on my happy ending, knowing that just like our sessions of hate-making, there would be bliss at the end of it all. 

I was so naïve when it came to him. Blinded. 

And he knew that. He knew he could get me to do anything, and he thought I was the stupidest bitch he’d ever met because of it. 

I shook my head at the revelation, sitting in the luxurious seat behind the desk, turning to face the paneled windows looking out on the garden below. 

I wondered if Micah ever even liked me. After all, we were friends first, part of the same friend group for years on end. 

Was it all a ploy to eventually put his greatest act of envy into play? He hated me so much that he wanted to ruin me. 

Well, I guess now the feelings really are mutual, and soon it’d be my turn to ruin him. 

He entered the study, made evident by a deep sigh and muttering about how insufferable certain guests were. 

He was always so miserable. 

He came to a halt. “Uh… I’m sorry. You can’t be up here.”

I sipped from my glass, watching his reflection in the window as he slowly approached the desk. 

“Ayo—”

Slowly, I stood before facing him. 

He turned pale within an instant, eyes wide and breath stolen. 

He was still gorgeous.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” my fingertip circled the edge of the glass as I treaded toward him. 

He stepped away from me as he stuttered, “W-What are you doing here?”

“I had to come see you, my love,” I smirked while setting down my glass. 

He was speechless, struggling to rationalize what stood before him. 

“I thought you were dead,” Micah whispered with a hesitant approach. 

“Well… you’ve always said that I was a whore for your attention,” I seductively smirked, an excited anxiety wrestling within me. 

The scent of him was driving me up a wall. Underneath his cologne was the sweet musk of fear. 

“You couldn’t have faked your death. I-I saw your body,” he shook his head, failing to take my words for what they were. 

He was still trying to do the math in his head. His blood pumped with fervor as his heart raced. 

I was slowly approaching him, his steps backward more firm than the ones he’d taken forward. 

“There’s no need to be scared, Micah,” I assured. 

He thought about shouting out for help. With a party still gathered for his enjoyment, he’d have a plethora of witnesses. 

The thought of such turned me on, but I knew better than to let him belt out a cry for attention. All I had to do was get my hands on him, and he’d be done for. 

“What are you?” he asked, disgust mixing with his fear in such a way that it was beginning to fuck with my appetite. 

“I’m yours,” my expression softened.

“You’re fucking crazy… and you’re fucking dead! ” He was going back and forth in his own mind. 

He pondered if he were going crazy, if hallucinations were a side effect of grief. 

“Micah, you know I could never stay away—”

“Get the fuck away from me!” He made a run for it, but Cortez emerged from the shadows and took the form of a door. 

With folded arms, he stood in the doorway and stared down at him menacingly. 

“Yo, what the fuck? What is this?” He looked at me again. 

“It’s your opportunity to apologize,” I answered calmly. 

“Apologize?”

“Yes,” I nodded. 

He scoffed, partially out of amusement. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, I’m serious, Micah,” I nodded while Cortez slowly closed the door of the study. 

“I don’t have shit to apologize for. You should be apologizing to me for all the hell you’ve caused— for all the times you almost put our shit on front street. For fucking dying!”

“I died of a broken heart, Micah, and you’re the reason why,” I took a step toward him. “I gave you years. I sat quietly while you went and lived your happy life— the life you promised me.”

“You knew I was with Lily.”

“And I knew you were supposed to leave her. Every time I let you do what you wanted with me, it was supposed to be in exchange for your heart.”

He gulped, his Adam’s apple bouncing delectably as he thought of how to switch his approach. I cut his efforts before he could apply them. 

���But it’s okay… It’s all okay, because I realize that if I really became yours, you would’ve broken me beyond repair.”

“Nala—”

“You don’t get to call me that anymore, Micah!” I roared, my hunger beginning to tear through me in a way that was affecting my attitude. 

“Call me what you used to.”

“N-Na—”

“Did I fucking stutter?” I nearly rushed him but he was quick on his feet, a backwards jog propelling him away from me. 

Cortez shut the other entrance of the study, a soft thud being just the sound needed to trigger Micah’s memory.

“Doll,” he muttered.

Excitement was ringing through me, my joints yearning to be cracked. I cracked my neck and sighed in bliss at the sound of such a term. 

“That’s more like it,” I could feel my fangs growing as I continued backing him toward a seat. 

“You used to like playing with your doll, didn’t you?”

“Nala, please,” it was the sight of my fangs that made him beg. 

“Didn’t you?” I urged just before he found himself tripping into a seat. 

I towered over him as he cowered into the chair. 

I pushed aside one of his locs and ran a hand over his face, knowing that he was scared of even touching me. He feared that a touch was enough to send him to his grave. 

He wasn’t all the way wrong either because with the ways I yearned to lay my hands on him? Oh, he was a goner. 

My mouth watered at the sight of his beautiful skin and freshly twisted locs. 

In another life, we would’ve made beautiful babies. Too bad this was the only life he’d get. 

I nearly laughed at the thought. 

“Tell me what I want to hear, Micah,” I wrapped a hand around his throat like he’d done to me so many times before. 

“I-I should’ve done right by you,” he nodded with a strained voice.

“I should’ve been a man of my word, and I’ve regretted the way I treated you every day you’ve been dead,” His tears were fighting to be seen. 

The fear was good and only getting better, but it was the remorse that was edging me closer to ecstasy.  

“I’m sorry, Nala. I’m so sorry,” he whimpered pathetically, my palms resting on either side of his face. 

He was so warm. My brain was tingling, my body was yearning for him, and I was just about to lose control. 

He couldn’t even bring himself to look at me, too terrified to look me in the face. Meanwhile, the shame and guilt were pushing his tears over the ledge. 

“It’s okay, Micah,” I whispered. “Everything’s gonna be alright, baby.”

“No, it’s not… because you’re gone,” he sniffled, drawing his eyes to mine finally. 

I halted, holding off on my animalistic instincts to hear more of him. 

“I miss you so much, Nala. I need you,” he shakily inhaled. 

“You don’t need anything but a fucking—”

“I’m serious, Nala. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I don’t even know joy without you. You were my joy.”

He continued on, this time, taking my hand into his and intertwining our fingers. 

“Wherever you are, take me with you. This life isn’t worth living without you, Nala… I love you,” he confessed. 

My head and my heart battled, my hunger ripping through logic while my heart banged on the door of my brain. It was all too much as I dropped to my knees. 

“I love you… more than life itself… and I’m sorry I couldn’t give you the love you deserved. I gave you the only thing I had. The only thing I knew.”

He added, “I just wish I could’ve been better for you. I wish you could be mine again.”

I tried not to let my emotions get the better of me, but those were the exact words necessary to lay Nala to rest. To move forward. 

But as I knelt there fighting off tears and letting my hunger consume me in a brain fog, Micah sat up in his seat. 

“I’m so sorry,” he spoke gently, a softness I’d only seen on blue moons shining through. 

His palm found my cheek as he wiped my tears. 

“I’m sorry for all the hurt I caused… You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved,” he admitted. “The closest thing I’ve ever had to real love.”

I reveled in him, eyes closing as I breathed in his essence. 

I missed this. 

“Be mine, one last time,” he whispered.

I gazed up at him, dreamily swimming in those eyes of his. His tears were still tracing his cheeks. 

“I’ll always be yours,” I kissed his tears, fighting the urge to just lap them up with my tongue.

He wanted so badly to match his lips with mine, but he was scared— scared that this would be a kiss of death. 

And that’s exactly what it was. 

“Kiss me,” I whispered. “Show me you love me.”

He dealt with his own battle, whether to do what I said or to tell me what I needed to hear. 

“Play with me one last time,” I whispered. 

“Is that what you came back for?” Both of his palms rested on my face. 

My skin heated, my engine revved, and I became a fool for Micah all over again. His touch was enough to distract me from my mission, but my body was close to a blackout. 

I was in overdrive— the hunger, the lust, the tsunami of emotions all playing tug of war. 

I couldn’t control myself anymore, forcing my lips onto his. 

It was electric, a rollercoaster taking my heart on a journey through time. Our tongues warred while my palms ran against his lap. 

His hand found my throat, the slightest squeeze being given, sending my mind flying through every single moment we were twined in my past life. 

The roughness. The degradation. It was all so hot. 

But when that lack of tenderness would haunt me outside of our nest, that’s when the pain really started to settle in. 

And as his grip strengthened against my throat, that feeling of hatred festered within me. And it led me right back to my death, the only moment where such cruelty was done out of love. 

The feeling of blind safety being pulled from beneath me returned. I’d been shoved right back into the memory of my death, when pleasure rolled through me and my life force was halted.

And as Micah choked me, I was facing that moment of fear and uncertainty again. 

I was being triggered, but before I could pull away in panic, he forced me away with a vehement head-butt.

I fell on my ass, pain echoing at my dome as he quickly scooted his chair backward and stood. 

He sprinted for the opposite entrance of the study, but his track and field days proved to be far behind him. 

Cortez caught him, slinging him backward before grabbing him by the throat himself. Micah was hoisted into the air, Cortez gazing up at him like a Christmas ornament.

“Yo, please,” Micah strained. 

Cortez didn’t hesitate, slamming Micah’s back against the hardwood floor before throwing punches until blood was drawn. 

I finally stood, approaching a sobbing Micah as Cortez wailed on him.

Blow after blow, cracking bones and cries of desperation. Cortez didn’t stop until Micah was losing his grip on consciousness. By then, my head was still throbbing, and Micah was nearly a pulp— blood drenching his swelling features and making him unrecognizable.

Cortez ceased with a deep sigh before ending his bout of silence. 

“You took your power, and you gave it right back to him,” Cortez didn’t have to look at me for me to know he was talking to me. 

I sunk to the floor, sitting on my heels on the other side of Micah, too exhausted to argue or wrestle with Cortez’s evident disappointment. 

“Save the sentimental shit for when he’s actually dead,” he added as Micah weakly begged and pleaded. 

His face was contorted in just the way I imagined it, and his deep baritone had been reduced to soprano whimpers.

But I couldn’t even dwell in the satisfaction of his pathetic tears. I was too entranced by the pooling blood of bruises and the oozing of wounds that had bursted open. 

“The throat or the spine?” Cortez asked me. 

“Y-You don’t have to do this, Nala. Please. I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” He whined. 

“The spine,” I wiped my own tears and sniffled. 

“Say goodbye,” Cortez said. 

“Goodbye, Micah.”

“Please! Lily— she’s pregnant! Please!”

“Fuck you and your bloodline, bitch,” Cortez chuckled before sending one more punch to knock him out. 

Micah’s unconscious body was turned over, clothes were ripped and so was his skin. 

It was almost like getting to the bone of a rib or cracking the shell of seafood. And as blood splattered and flesh squelched, Cortez presented me with the very thing that I wished Micah had put to use during his life. 

I felt so much at once, the first being bloodthirst.

My mouth watered while my head pounded. My fists clenched as my hunger nearly split me in half.

My injury ached on, but it didn’t compare in the slightest to the all-consuming, brain smashing, stomach stabbing pins and needles that nearly made me foam at the mouth in agonized hunger.

And finally— warm, smooth, and savory— I started to quench my thirst.

I sipped from the fountain of Micah while Cortez continued to rip at his flesh. 

My brain fog was lifting bit by bit, and I indulged in every part of him I’d longed for.

I even ripped his heart out, the taste alone nearly pushing me to what felt like an orgasm. But it was the dead look in Micah’s eyes that really sent me over the edge. 

My eyes rolled as I chewed and grunted, barbarically feasting and sharing. With Micah’s heart in one hand, oozing with every bite and every squeeze, I ripped his face into streamers with the other.

My hunger was simmering, and with them, the ferocity of my instincts lessened. The silence of the room was reinstated, and all that was left was the soft rumble of chatter and laughter carrying from downstairs.

I sighed deeply, the gravity of what I had done and what I hadn’t done settling on my shoulders. I could feel tears coming, but I wasn’t completely sure as to why.

Was this what letting go felt like? Had Nala been laid to rest right here next to Micah?

Could I finally move on in the way that I never could in my first life?

I met Cortez’s stare, and within moments, my mounting anxiety was flattened.

I looked at him and knew that everything was going to be okay. Any questions I had would be answered in due time, and I had the rest of my life to figure myself out. To find Zyà.

I tearfully kissed Cortez, sharing the savory taste of my worst enemy in disguise. 

Grief and joy were all rolled up in my tears, and Cortez let them flourish.

“I love you,” I sobbed softly.

I was a wreck, much more than I had anticipated. I was happy, I was sad. I was foolish. I was free. 

“Thank you,” I whispered as he kissed my forehead, right where my aching had quieted itself.

“Of course,” he caressed my cheek tenderly. 

“Thank you,” I repeated while staring into his eyes. 

With blood swiped at our lips and drenching our fingertips, it was best that we get to cleaning things up. 

But I couldn’t pull myself away from his gaze. 

He said, “You fell in love with him again.”

“And I fell in hate with him again too,” I messily wiped my tears.

“Did you learn anything?”

“Don’t go against my instincts… and save the sentimental shit for later.”

“Never give them the chance to think they can outsmart you. You strike. You eat. You move on.”

“I hear you.”

“You did a good job, baby,” he assured me. 

“No, I didn’t. I got in my head. I let my other urges get the best of me. My need for closure,” I shook my head. 

He reached for Micah’s partially detached spine. He cracked off a piece of it, licking it clean before holding it to my view. “Here’s your closure.”

With that, he stood and assisted me to my feet. 

We stepped over Micah’s body, and I led the way to the bathroom only a few steps down the hall. 

It was there that we wiped off blood splatter and cleaned our hands and faces.

And it was there that I gave Cortez a second yes. 

We shared a kiss and soon enough, we were sneaking out of the window— the very same window I’d have to use when Lily made an early arrival home. 

We tiptoed down shingles and dodged the first story window to avoid being seen by party guests. We climbed down a wall ladder and landed in the garden. 

Our hands were joined as we disappeared into the night.

Our clothing found a fire, and we found refuge at his place— a place I hadn’t been since before I died. It felt just as cozy as I remembered it, and I felt as safe as I’d always hoped to be with Micah.

Cortez made me a necklace out of the bone he forcibly cracked, and I made him my husband.

Within days, we were swapping vows and taking a blood oath, something that would bind us for the rest of our undead lives.

I guess I got my happy ending after all.

[treasureswordsgirl55]

Left Behind

Character: James Bucky Barnes

Pairing: James Bucky Barnes / Fem!Reader (Original Character)

Inspired by (song): Pero Me Acuerdo de Ti - Christina Aguilera / Who Knew - Pink!

Warnings: Angst!. So so much Angst! Memories. Mentions of psicological trauma. Mentions of Winter Soldier. Mention of Violence. Angry. Pain. Break up. Angst with a happy ending. Fluff. New Avengers! (My Invented Team). Post! TFATWS.

Author's Note: Hello to everyone!!!

How are you doing? The university doesn't want to give me chance to take a breath!

But... I'm doing a little time to end some Fics that I started to write when The Falcon and The Winter Soldier came out.

This is the second fic that I write this year and I finished yesterday, but... This was write when I didn't know Zemo Intentions, so... The things are a little crazy in this fic.

A few things:

If I can, I'll be posting the first chapter of a new series with Loki. And some fics with Din Djarin, and others with Poe.

I want to write with Chris Beck (The Martian). If I do it, maybe someone read it?

And the last one, thanks you to all the replies, see them makes me happy to know that you like my stories.

So, I hope you like this new fic and welcome to my new readers and followers! XOXO ❤️❤️

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone

I'd stand up and punch them out because they're all wrong

I know better because you said forever, and ever, Who knew?

"- You should talk ..... It's something you both deserve.

- Talk about what? Do you think he deserves, for me to sit down for a damn minute to listen to him, Sam?

- I'll tell you what, you two need to talk. You need to yell at him, cry and tell him everything that goes through your head, Lara. And you should let him do the talking too. He suffers so much and perhaps more than you.

- Don't you dare talk about things that you don't know, Sam"

...

I hear the sound of the rain I let out a sigh and walk quickly to check on Copito, who doesn't even move before the sound of thunder invading the house. As soon as the boxes, closed and ready to be sent to my new apartment, enter my field of vision, that irrepressible desire to leave disappears before the images that flood the house: The thousands of laughter, the hours of crying, the days of joy and the moments of sadness ... I can still see those images when I walk around the house and scold myself for not leaving earlier.

I should have been a lot smarter and not have taken so long to realize that he had moved on and that I was expecting a ghost that would not return.

Lightning strikes somewhere around us, making the house rumble, drawing the attention of the little white cat and he just stares at me as if he knows that pain is invading me. He leans over to run over my legs, purring and telling me in his own way that everything would be fine.

But, he can't erase the caresses from him, much less the words I thought were real.

The sound of the doorbell makes me turn towards the door and the kitten follows me, approaching it as if someone he knew was outside. Thunder interrupts the sound and it resounds, even more insistent.

I feel my body tense up and I remember Sam's voice telling me that we should talk. That we should tell each other the things we felt inside in order to move forward, that I should speak if I wanted to move on. The little security that I had managed to build in the 13 months in which I was alone, seemed to hide under the bed at the unusual idea of ​​who would ring the bell outside was him.

I didn't want to be that weak young woman that he had left behind a year ago. She wanted to be the woman to tell him that she had learned to live without him.

I remember for a moment the gun over my head, Zemo's sinful laugh and not knowing if I would survive at the hands of the man I loved.

After that, he disappeared. Until Sam came looking for me and he told me that Bucky had planned this to stop him again.

That it was a performance ... But even so, he did not return.

I waited for him and he never came back.

I tried to keep my steps smooth, making sure that whoever was outside would not notice that he was inside. That if I noticed that there was no one here, he would leave, but Copito's meow made my options disappear. The "curse" of being a deaf cat is that his meow sounded 10 levels louder than that of any common cat.

As soon as I put my hands on the door I feel his breath on the other side of it and my heart has no qualms about resisting that familiar sound and ends up speeding up its heartbeat, telling me that perhaps against him, I have no chance to fight.

- I know you're there, Lara - His voice sounds insecure, as if fully aware of the danger he's submitting to.

- What do you want? - I make a poor attempt to make my voice sound safe, without noticing how much the mere fact of listening to it still affects me. I hold the door handle too tightly, thinking that perhaps holding it that way would stop his urge to enter.

I looked back at the room full of boxes and the image of the two of us laughing, looking at the room as if we were going to find some key or perhaps a hidden treasure between its corners and talking about how incredible this adventure of living together would be for both of us.

- Talk.

Now his voice sounds monotonous, as if it did not convey the slightest feeling in his words.

- If you stood out for something, it was because your incredible ability to not talk to anyone, Barnes.

I hear his footsteps on the other side at the same time that I feel that the rain begins to fall with much more force and I see that Copito climbs the window and looks out from under the curtain, seeing whatever caught his attention. I dare not look in his direction because I know I will not resist the idea of ​​letting go being so close. I know that I must let the pain take pity on me and allow me to hate him, allow me to learn to forget him, and allow me to overcome him.

- You deserve an explanation of what happened a few months ago, doll - Even though it is a bit further from the door, I feel as if it had said that affectionate nickname in my ear, in that soft tone that he used to use when we were alone, or when we had those moments of intimacy in which the world did not exist for both of us.

- Don't call me that - I barely recognized my own voice, which was mixed between a sob and a complaint full of anger at realizing that I was losing the battle just by hearing his voice. I felt like my hands were sweating, how my body was shaking and how my heart wanted to get out of my chest at the idea that he was so close to me and I refused to get close to that security to which I had become so used to feeling - Please...

- But you're my... - I don't let him finish the sentence because before even thinking about my actions, I found myself opening the door and to my misfortune, even though I had prayed to God that it was a mere product of my imagination, he was there, with that same expression of guilt and pain with which I knew him, with those blue eyes that made me stop thinking just by looking at them for a second, looking at me as if I had seen a ghost, with his clothes soaked and with no intention of leaving.

- Not anymore. I stopped being yours from the moment you decided to leave without even remembering that I was here waiting for you! - I get closer and with all the strength I have I hit him in the chest trying to push him, but I barely make him move from his place - You left me, James!

- Lara, let me explain why I did what I did ...

- No! - I push it again until we are both under the rain, and the cold of it seems to give me the courage that I feared I had lost - I waited for you, I asked many people about you and you did not even deign to appear to say something to the woman you supposedly loved.

I hit him again and I feel the tears mix with the rain, but the difference is that I feel is that my tears burn.

- Doll... I love you with all that I have.

- Do not call me that way! - I slap his chest once more and his hand holds mine against him. - Let me go, Bucky.

He lets out a sigh and I know that my words have the effect on him that I was looking for.

- Not until you hear me - I want to move away, but his vibranium arm does not allow me to separate from him - You are going to listen to me, because I will not leave here until I have made it clear to you what happened that night.

- It's too late, I don't want to listen to you anymore. Go away, please.

- You'll listened me first.

- I'm at least glad to hear that the therapy with Dr. Raynor worked, Barnes. You've become more daring and demanding - I hiss as I try to release my hand from his grip, but again, I fail to try.

- Only with what I want.

- And what do you want?

- I intend to get my girl back, and if not, at least I plan to try! - I drop my shoulders and feel that my heart stops beating for a moment, giving me to understand that I will not be able to fight much more with the idea of ​​trying to hate him.

- Let me suffer in peace! - I scream forgetting for a second that the neighbors are sure glued to the window watching the scene and I let the pain I feel in my chest take over me - Let me learn to live without you...

- That's not an option - He takes my hand gently and leaves it at the level of his heart - It will stop beating if I move away from you for another second.

- You pointed a gun at me without even hesitating - The memory echoes in my head again and I feel it tense under my hand. I dare to look into his eyes for a second and I see them full of tears, while my heart seems to stop - Do you know what it was for me, to see that the man I love more than my life pointed me with a gun as if I were worth nothing to him?

- I had no choice ...

- It's not the answer that I expected.

- I had to make Zemo believe that he was still under the influence of the red book in order to catch him. I could not follow his trail if he noticed that the damn notebook had no effect on me - His blue eyes shine in the small light of the porch and the rain seemed to dampen them even more - What cost me the most in all my life, and I know what do you know, it was having to see you as if I didn't care about anything, but what I told myself was that I was doing all that to protect you, doll - I feel his right hand trying to take me by the waist, but I just want to move away, my body he betrays me and I take a step towards him - I needed Zemo to believe that I didn't care about you so that you weren't the reason why he could manipulate me if he found out I was pretending.

- Why didn't you come back? - The lump in my throat prevents me from talking.

- I thought you wouldn't want to see me again after that. I saw the fear in your eyes, Lara. And that's why I decided not to return ...

For a moment I feel the pain transform into anger and I let go of his grip and grab him by both lapels of his jean jacket and shake him, waiting for him to react.

- Are you stupid? - He give me a soft smile as if I was saying him a compliment - I'll tell you something, I waited for you to give me the opportunity to decide what to do about you, I waited for you day and night in this damn house so that you would give me the possibility of tell you that I was waiting for you. I waited for you to tell you that when I chose to fall in love with you, I thought of the day this would happen, that I was aware of the possibility that he would return, and that you would come out of it and be there waiting for you. I wanted everything with you, Bucky. The normal life, this superhero life with which I met you, life with those nightmares that barely let you sleep at night, your life as an avenger, because damn if you tell me you don't deserve that title, because I'll try to hit you. I imagined my whole life with you, and you didn't even try to explain me this in this moment like you're doing now.

- You do not know how much I regret not having returned that night to look for you.

- I do more.

I separate from him as soon as I hear thunder near us and walk towards the stairs, hoping that he would leave, although inside I hoped that he would try to stop me.

- Tell me the truth, and I'll stop bothering you. You don't love me anymore?

My heart hits my ribs hard as if I wanted to jump up to him and deny everything I had said before.

- I won't answer that - I murmured as I took off my jacket and held it as if my life depended on it.

- It's the only thing that will make me leave of here, even if I leave my heart with you.

- James ... - I hear his footsteps approaching and when I turn around, he is standing in front of me, remaining a few inches below the step where I am standing.

- Tell me that and I'll go.

- No - I lie while I feel the irrepressible urge to jump into his arms and tell him that I still love him like the first day I met him- I don't.

- And then why are you crying, doll? - How do you notice that? - I know you enough to know when my little doll is crying.

I hate you so so much, Barnes.

- 'Cause I can't even lie about how I feel about you - I admited at the same time as Bucky smiles and wipes his face with the back of his hand, as if he was wiping his tears.

- Give me the opportunity to show you...

- That you won't you go again? - The fear is present my voice and he gives me a smile, while I feel the warmth of his hands on my face in contrast to the cold of the rain that surrounds us - You'll break my heart.

- Never again, doll. Never again.

His lips press mine in a soft kiss, one of those that transmit security to me and take away the pain that I felt for so long. I bring him as close as possible to me, feeling our clothes melt due to the water dripping from both of us. We separate when another thunder sounds again, and we see that Copito jumps behind us, making us laugh.

- If it occurs to you to leave me again, I myself will go for you.

Bucky starts laughing as I feel him relax in my hands

- And I will tell Loki to give you the gun to shoot me.

His cell phone starts ringing and he barely sees the screen, he doesn't hesitate to answer- I'll be there in a few hours, Yelena.

"She hasn't left you, has she? Fuck..."

- If you bet with Spector ... I'm sorry for you, Belova.

I don't hear her answer but seeing him laugh and enjoy with his new team makes me happy. He ends the call and turns to me, wrapping his arms around me.

- It's from work?

- Yep... I have to go in a few hours. Are we okay, doll? - He takes my face in his hands and makes me look into his eyes - If you want me here with you, I could tell the team that I'm not available.

- No, it's ok. Go and save the world, Barnes. Always and when you return, we're ok.

- It's a promise.

[lethargicsunlight]

'Demon': Prologue ♡ BakugouXFem!Reader (Book 1)

Alright I'm doing it.

I'm doing the thing.

It literally keeps me awake at night I gotta write thisss *cough* okay

Originally I was only going to post this unto Wattpad, but getting traction on their website is a little more difficult than good ole' Tumblr, so I'll be posting it on both. Feel free to visit my Wattpad here: LINK if you want to support my writing on that end. (I would so appreciate it)

This post is going to run pretty long, as it will host both the prologue of the story and my author's notes. Just a heads up.

Summery:

A slow-burn action/romance where you begin in the bowels of a Villain base and rise up to join U.A.'s top Hero Class. This life was your choice. In the event of learning then losing the love of a friend, you make a decision that changes your reality at the core--to become an imposter among villains and bring them down from the inside out. The organization that ruined your premature perfect life was known as H.H., after their leader Head-Honcho. His crime of choice: intelligence. Training and conducting espionage agents and assassins across Japan as a means to further the dark underground network. Your training began at thirteen, after managing to impress the multi-faced villain with your stealth and your conviction. Rumors would soon spread through the dark alleys of Naruhata City of a masked assassin known as Demon, whose bare face could steal the souls of her targets. Everything appears to be going to plan; but the Hero Agencies you've been slipping information to are calling for an end to your superior sooner than you had anticipated. Your time as 'Demon' is limited. What will happen when your world comes crashing down? Where will you go, when everything you had known you helped to destroy?

AUTHOR'S NOTES

This is a slow burn fan-fic; and I am not italicizing those words without reason. This is going to be an agonizingly slow action-packed adventure-romance. This is a self-insert story, just like my three-part series 'Some Combat Training' (link) where you as the protagonist will not be described outside of being female, general physique, and a generalization of your uniform(s). Skin, hair, eyes, etc. will not be described at all--besides ambiguous adjectives. That said, I am taking liberties with physique and stature due to the nature of the story. You're abilities rely on stealth as well as close and fast combat, therefore you are described as 'small', 'lithe', 'athletic', and all of those other fancy little ninja woman words. Your personality has been shaped by the events of your life and the people within it; but if I were to describe it I would choose words like: Intelligent, determined, self-sacrificing, quiet, humble, and studious. The story will follow along with the anime for the most part starting at around the time of the USJ event, though at some point the story will branch off and become more my original concoction. (Such as, fast-forwarding the time-line to when the characters are older.) Some information about you as the protagonist will not be written here, as I plan for those to be revelations within the story. There will be angst, blood and gore, adult-humor, trauma, death, bad language and warnings will be listed with each chapter as needed. Feel free to comment on those chapters as soon as you see something that isn't mentioned that might make someone (if not yourself) feel uncomfortable. I will not be offended. This story is meant to get a little dark. Please comment if you can about your opinions! I have never posted an on-going fic before, and anything you have to say I would appreciate! <3 Now, please enjoy this short prologue~ Chapter 1 is being reviewed and edited, to be release very soon! 👹🖤⛓🔪💣 ...four...five...six.. You counted the footsteps behind your left ear, round the corner of the dim abandoned subway. You'd been stationary; still so long that your digits had all but numbed. Turn... one...two...three... The footsteps were distancing from the hall your attention had been set upon. A T-section, where the entity had gone down and away from your destination. You had to cross that 'T' to get to the junction--where you needed to leave a note completely undetected. The slightest mis-step would lead to suspicion. Suspicion would lead to investigation. Investigation lead to the five percent chance they could find that note--and no percentage was too small. It all hinged on absolute perfection. Nine...ten...eleven... This was their fifth round. A patrol. You had to make sure their movement were predictable before this would work--despite having successfully delivered the note fourty-two times and counting--you did not have the luxury of assumption. Only if their stride was even, only if you absolutely knew they were moving at a certain pattern, could you depend on the following information: It took fifteen steps before they would reach the broken light on their route. The haze of the dust and pollutants reflected in the working lights prior to that was your cover. Cross the 'T', leave the note, and cross it again. Out of sight and out of earshot, mission successful. Fourteen... f-- You turn, and it takes three steps to arrive at the drop to the tracks. You bunch and leap, and even the quietest friction of fabric from your uniform creases your brow. You land, just outside of the light's reach on the thin concrete slab beyond. Your eyes track the metals, the jutting wall tiles; that with which the barest touch could emit a sound--and you maneuver around them. Under, creeping low--and over, leaping to land on the balls of your feet and checking your balance before moving forward. Careful to not cast a shadow into the hall. Paced, so as not to move too quickly nor too slowly. Counting, because every second was controlled and calculated. You reach the juncture, and once again

edging the light you propel yourself to land back on the main thoroughfare. The next obstacle--removing the loose brick. Behind a metal bench centered between two closed-in stair cases, where the tile meets what had once been a decorative brick mosaic; eight bricks right and eighteen bricks up, was your note's destination. Just above your head, where you had to bend at an awkward angle to reach. Not practical, less detectable. You're wearing tight fabric gloves with grips on the pads, but thin enough you can feel the texture of the brick as you gently lace your fingers at each of the corners. Lifting, centering, and pulling the brick from its slot. Holding it just right, you can avoid the loud scrapes and grinds--but you have to hold it perfectly centered. Success. In goes the note. As does the brick, back into the wall. But you're only half-way done. Leap. Quiet, maneuver, avoid, measure. Silent. Leap. Hide. You're back is once again at the wall, the footsteps of the lackey you'd been avoiding closing in proximity to the Hall you'd just left. Four... five... six... Your eyes focus on the wall opposite of you as you ground yourself. The next few seconds determined a new reality. Either they followed their pattern, or they didn't. You had to be flexible. No assumptions. If they move towards the junction, you have to follow. If they move towards you, you'd calculate on your feet. Seven... eight... nine.. Turn. ...one...two...three.. You don't relax. Even after you count their steps to fifteen, even as you slip away back through the hall, even as you exit the unattended vent and breathe in fresh air--you don't relax until you're sitting on the floor in your room, calming down, your mask in your hands. After checking to make sure your door had not been opened, and no one had looked for you. No tracks in the dust. Only then do you allow yourself to ruminate on the contents of the note you had written, because you could still see every letter of it in your mind. ------ 55-1, Minami Senju 5-chome, Musutafu Target: Fukui Mitsuo Floor 8 3 AM. 7. Accompanied. Head. ------ For the briefest moment, you feel your hands shake. They always did on these nights. Realistically, you'd left no openings. Tested and re-tested every method. Calculated every movement. Left nothing to chance. But the 'what-if's' still linger, and you let them. The fear is good. It keeps you on your toes, your mind on edge, your tongue to the roof of your mouth. If he found out, you wouldn't know it until it was over. So you pretended he already did. Below you, underground in his base, plotting how to get at you when you were most vulnerable. Tear you to pieces, throw you in a pit or in a cage. No--too risky, he'd just kill you. A dead-end is better than a possibility. You'd learned that from him. You swallow, head turning so the amber morning sky is in your peripheral. All things considered, you would still unfortunately need sleep. You cherished the brief moments of sunlight and let your mind swim in the memories of your childhood spent in the daytime; before retiring to the broken and borrowed mattress. Seven days. You would check the location of your note in two. If there is another note in response, you would create a reactionary plan. The pattern continues. Until he finds out. ...Until he finds out.

[authorsadiethatcher]

I love summer, but May is my favorite month. Why? Because it's my birthday month. And I chose the picture to go along with this month's State of the Thatcher Address because my favorite color is blue. If you've paid attention to my covers, you've probably noticed that. There's a lot of blue outfits.

April was filled with family obligations, travel, and some medical stuff. I still got lots of writing done, for both of my pen names, but it was not just a work month for me. May will definitely have more words get written as I have deadlines approaching.

I'll talk about May's writing a little further down, but this month should be a good one. And the current weather forecast has the rain giving way to warm temperatures and sun just in time for my birthday. I can't complain about that.

A quick reminder that you can find my books on Amazon, Smashwords, Google Play Books, Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and Everand. You can also read everything I’ve published under my Sadie Thatcher name since last May on Ream, which is a subscription platform built specifically for authors. You can check out my Ream page below.

Ream: https://reamstories.com/sadiethatcher

And speaking of Ream, I have a Ream exclusive novel called The Muse (extreme dollification) that is now complete. I’ve made the first three chapters available for free. All you have to do is sign up as a follower at the link above to get a taste of my first real story that is too extreme for Amazon.

I also post the occasional bit of flash fiction for followers on Ream. I have one up already and plan to post another one this week. As soon as I'm inspired, I'll add a new mini-story to Ream.

On the Libby Feron front, my fantasy writing is going decently well. I'm working on a series of novellas or short novels that was initially inspired by the pirate attack on Port Royal in the Pirates of the Caribbean movie. But on top of that, I'm also got an idea for a time travel fantasy novel percolating in my head. More on that another time. However, since I don’t talk about my fantasy writing often, checking out https://libbyferon.com/ and signing up for the email newsletter is the best way to stay informed. At some point, there will be a free novella offered.

Now it’s time to talk about what to expect this month. First, I've already released the first book in the His Dreams Series. This is the first time I've written specifically from the male perspective for an entire story. The entire series will be like this.

I also have one last book left in The Secret Series. I plan to finish writing it today and will be submitting it for publishing May 3.

And then there's the new content. I have two new series that will begin to appear in the middle and then the latter part of the month. First is an alien hucow story. A town will be taken over by aliens and the population turned into livestock for the aliens. I'm not sure of all the details yet, but I'm excited to write it.

Finally, there's a series idea I've had for a while that I'm looking forward to. It's been documented that if a male dominated workplace has a single woman, nothing will really change. Instead, the woman is far more likely to conform to the male points of view, playing along so that she can be one of the boys. While the reality of that is unfortunate, it makes for a good setup for a bimbo story, which I'm calling Tokenized, at least for now. All titles and ideas are subject to change with my whims and muse.

So that about does it. You can also hopefully expect a fantasy novella from me as Libby Feron at the end of the month called A Throne of Bones. What a month this will be.

[lemontwst]

08/14 - announcements from a vacation in quarantine.

hello my sweet, sinful children!!!

i’m so sorry i left you all to your lonesome for two days (three days? eh, time is relative anyway), but i wanted to enjoy the last few moments of my vacation away from social media!

between my job, moving to a new house and updating this blog every day in the meantime, my wick was almost completely burned out, so i hope you can forgive me for taking some time off to recharge the good ole batteries!

i haven’t been completely idle however!!! i’m proud to announce that i’ve finally wrapped up the last of my writing commissions, so i can fully dedicate myself to this blog once again! daily headcanons/scenario updates will begin again starting from today. i have quite the backlog of messages (and fanart!!!) to go through, but i promise i’ll start chipping away at all your questions and lovemail soon!

Nessun Dorma updates.

the poll for chapter one is now officially closed. the results were tied for the longest time, but alas, we’ve had a surge of dom!Epel votes this week, so it seems our precious apple boy will be the one doing the rawing this time around! (i’m sorry sub!Epel fans in the inbox, you guys got my vote but we could not prevail against the bottoms in the end!!!). istg y’all better let me have sub!Azul when the time comes www

rantings of a dom aside, i humbly thank everyone who participated in the voting! this game would literally be pointless without all of you.

about the next ND update, chapter 2 will release sometime next week! possibly on thursday/friday, if i manage to send everything to my beta readers in the next couple of days. you’ll get a little snippet of one of the smut scenes the day before the chapter goes public, so i hope you look forward to it!

on milestones and celebrations.

we’re almost at 1.5k followers. what the actual fuck, fam.

and of course we’re going to celebrate!!!! this might be thirsty thots boulevard but we are still classy, well-mannered harlots around here!!!!!

i’ve always wanted to learn how to code in CS, so would you guys be interested in playing a short, smutty interactive fiction game like this one, with one of our twisted husbands as the love interest? (original game post by the amazing author @/godsamael). i'll give you some more interactions and personality options for your self-insert, and you’ll be able to pick the reader’s gender between male, female and possibly non-binary if i can get the code to work! 

i’ll probably make a poll to decide which husband you’ll be able to f*ck, so let me know if this is a yay or a nay for you. if it’s a nay, i’ll come up with something else to entertain you.

upcoming writings.

time for the usual lies i mean uuh our wonderful and very regular schedule because Miel is an organized writer who never posts headcanons and scenarios on a whim. here it is, for everyone who asked.

acedeuce poly scenario with f!reader. (tomorrow??)

more cybertwst (idia & vil are up next)

dick headcanons for pomefiore

mindbreak scenarios with [redacted bc i ain’t spoiling this lmao]

and there you have it! if you sat patiently through this entire existential crisis, Ramiel gives you a smooch on the forehead and blesses your weekend with p0rny lucid dreams. 

[rosettahart]

Glass-says: Chapter 15

Chapter 1, Chapter 14

Ao3 link

Summary: Logan and Patton's first date.

Warnings: Implied Anxiety Attack and Mention of Death

Chapter 15

Patton squeezed Logan's arm as he watched Virgil and Princey. He couldn't help but bounce up and down. "They're so cute!"

Logan squinted at the pair, pushing his glasses up. "Is that not just…"

"It's their first time meeting in person! They've waited so long and now they're finally together!" Patton pulled Logan along behind him back across the room towards the doors.

Logan frowned. "None of you are aware of the situation?" He glanced back at Virgil and Roman before returning his attention to Patton. "Are we not going to stay here to dance as well?"

Patton giggled, opening the door to the theatre and leading his crush into the space and up the stairs onto the stage. "After some time thinking about it Virgil thought it might look a little funny to others if you looked like you were dancing by yourself, so he came up with a solution." He let go of his arm, holding up his hands excitedly. "Wait here."

Logan gave a curt nod as he watched Patton quickly make his way up to the soundbooth. "I suppose this is indeed the preferable option to the gym. It is much quieter and with plenty of room in which to move around."

Patton rushed back down after starting the music on the playlist he had scrambled together earlier, jumping up the stairs to get onto the stage. 

Logan held his hand out for Patton. "Shall we dance?"

Patton nodded, putting his hand in Logan's with a grin, resting his other hand on his shoulder like Virgil had shown him to. "Virgil tried showing me how while I was helping him get ready." He chuckled apologetically when they both moved to step forward with opposite feet. "Did I say tried?"

"You happened to, yes." Logan adjusted Patton's grip and the placement of his hand on his shoulder. "As I am the one leading I take the first step forward with my left foot and you take one back with your right. Then you are to take a step the same way with the opposite foot and after that your feet are to come together."

Patton watched Logan's feet thoughtfully as he tried to follow his instructions, sticking out his tongue as he did. He stumbled as he miss-stepped, laughing at his own clumsiness. "It looks like I'm all tangoed up. Could you maybe tell me how to do it again, Lo? I think I almost got it."

"This is not a tango." Logan sighed. "I do not understand why you requested me to be your date to a dance when you yourself do not know how."

"I thought it'd be fun." Patton shrugged.

Logan shook his head then let go of Patton's hand for a moment to push up his glasses. "We will take this at a slower pace to start and when you become confident in your movements we'll bring it to meet the tempo of the music."

Patton gave a nod. "Where do we start?"

Logan nudged Patton's foot back. "With one," he then pushed Patton's other foot back diagonally to be in line with the other, "two," he moved the foot Patton had started back on to meet the other one, "three and then…" Logan stepped back with his right foot.

Patton stepped forward. "Four." He looked up at Logan with a grin. 

Logan gave a nod, moving his left foot back and then over to meet the other, making sure Patton was doing the same except forwards. "And five, six."

Patton started to get the hang of it with Logan's feet guiding his own and the nice gradual speeding up of the logical nerd's soft counting. The counting became steady when they had caught up to the tempo of the song.

"Now you know the basic box step."

Patton giggled, confident enough now to take his eyes off his feet for a few seconds to look up at Logan.  "Guess we're both boxing ourselves in."

Logan squinted, glancing around them confusedly for a moment. "Boxing ourselves into what?"

"So when did ya learn how to dance?" Patton asked, slowing down his pace when the song changed. 

"I learned how when I was eleven. My dad thought I should know so I would be prepared in case an event that called for that knowledge ever arised." Logan explained.

"What was he like?" 

Logan faltered slightly then corrected himself while in thought over the question.

"Oh, sorry, you don't have to answer that if you don't feel comfortable answering. You've just mentioned your dad before and I'm just a little curious what he was like." Patton quickly added.

"He was sort of like you." Logan replied quietly. "Without all the word play though and not as… energetic."

Patton smiled softly. "He sounds like a neat guy."

Logan gave a nod, his eyes unfocused, still in thought. "I am sure the two of you would have gotten along quite well."

"Logan?"

Logan looked down to meet Patton's gaze.

"I bet he's really proud of you and who you're becoming." Patton mentioned, unsure why he had felt the need to say it, but feeling like it was the right thing to say.

Logan completely stopped dancing, focusing on pushing away any thoughts of his dad. This was not the time to be remembering him or dwelling on the past. He had already spent more time than he should have doing so.

Patton moved his arms so he could hug Logan. "I'm sorry, Lo. I didn't mean to-"

Logan cleared his throat, gently shifting Patton back away from him. "I am certain he is. There would be no reason why he would not be."

Patton nodded unsurely as he watched Logan. He rested his hand back on Logan's shoulder as he rested one of his own on Patton's waist, taking his hand quietly.

Logan searched for something to say to break the silence, his eyes stopping on their hands. "Shall I spin you around?"

Patton's face brightened back up. "You shall."

Logan gave a slight nod, leading Patton into it. His lips twitched up as the ghost giggled. "I wonder how naturally this comes to you. Being able to still touch and hold my hand amongst other things." He pondered out loud.

Patton shrugged. "With Virgil, Roman and you, I don't really have to try. Though it took me a while to be able to lift even just little things."

"I see… Have you ever tried lifting Virgil or Roman up in any way?"

"I have emotionally," Patton chuckled, "But I've never picked either of them up before." He grinned. "Would you like me to try?"

"For research purposes I would-"

Before Logan could finish his response Patton was already sweeping an arm under Logan's legs, surprised he was actually managing to keep him up in his arms.

Logan blinked, surprised himself. "That was adequate."

"It's like you don't weigh anything." Patton bounced Logan up a bit with a laugh. 

Logan squirmed uncomfortably, pushing himself out of Patton's arms and straightening his suit. "Well that is enough of that and I shall remember to make a new note of that ability."

Patton beamed, bouncing up and down. "Now you do me."

"I am certain the answer to if I could lift you is fairly clear already. As you are weightless it would only carry similar results."

Patton's eyes widened. "You made a pun!"

"I-" Logan exhaled. "That was not intentional."

Patton pulled out the puppy eyes along with a slight pout. "Please will you pick me up?"

Logan begrudgingly gave into Patton's request. "I suppose you've given into plenty of my own requests so it would only be fair to give into some of yours." 

Patton wrapped his arms over Logan's shoulders, hardly containing his excitement at being held bridal style in his date's arms. "Best date ever."

"As this is the only date I have been on I have nothing of which to compare this one to. Though 'fun' was promised and I did enjoy spending some time with you." Logan mentioned. 

"Enough to go on a second date…?"

Logan met Patton's gaze. "As long as it is properly planned out with plenty of time beforehand." 

Patton gave Logan a quick kiss on the cheek, his eyes sparkling. "I promise it will be. I'll-"

One of the doors to the theatre flew open, Virgil rushing in with his mask in his one hand. His hair and suit were disheveled and his makeup was smeared down his cheeks, his body visibly shaking.

Patton quickly moved over to rub his arms. "What's wrong, Virgil? Did something happen?"

"Ci ran off. I-I don't what I did o-or I said, but he left and I don't know if I'll… or if he'll ever-"

"Its going to be okay, kiddo. Just breathe for me, okay?" Patton gently guided him into one of the audience chairs as Logan got down off the stage beside them.

"I apologize, but I am going to find Roman as I need to be back home soon. I will see you both next week." Logan bowed his head apologetically.

Patton gave a nod in understand before sitting down beside Virgil to start calming him down.

Logan made his exit, knowing where to go to find Roman and that he'd have to be quick to catch him before he left.

~

Roman practically dove into his car when he got to it. He aggressively threw his mask into the back seat and undid his tie, sending it back to join his mask and soon his suit jacket followed as well. Before he could put the car into reverse a knock on the passenger sides window just about gave him a heart attack.

Logan was standing beside the car with an intense glare directed right at Roman.

Roman swallowed, uneasily unlocking the car so Logan could get in.

Logan opened and door and sat down. "You are going to explain exactly what happened." 

Roman nodded, knowing if he left anything important out the nerd would murder him with just his gaze alone. "Okay."

Chapter 16

Author's notes: Wasn't sure if I was going to post the update here or not but after over a week of being up on ao3 it's here. So I'd recommend if you'd like to follow this fic to follow it over there. Though I should for certain be putting he link to over there when new chapters are up here.

Taglist:

@kittiebrick

@absolutesandersidestrash

[fragmentedshards]

The Final Curtain, Chapter One

A Shocking Revelation and Several Changes

-

The room was full of people all looking at each other sorrowfully, adding to the nervous atmosphere hovering above them. Lau and Ran Mao stood by the window, exchanging confused glances. Elizabeth sat on the piano bench and sobbed on Paula's shoulder, prompting Agni and Prince Soma, who had been mourning nearby, to join in the attempt to comfort her. Tanaka, Bardroy, Mei Rin, and Finnian stood together nearest to the door, each with furrowed brows and dejected auras. At one point, Finnian squeezed his eyes shut, and tears began streaming down his face. Mei Rin pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and began to dry the boy's tears, while Tanaka rested his hands on the boy's shoulders in a fatherly fashion and Bard gently rubbed the boy's head. Even the Undertaker was there, standing alone next to a small end table, looking almost like a lost puppy. It was, perhaps, the most solemn wake anyone could imagine, though the wake of the deceased Earl Ciel Phantomhive had passed several days ago.

Sebastian took a turn about the room, speaking to each person briefly. His talk with the Undertaker took a little bit longer than the others. When he reached the other Phantomhive servants, he spoke to them in low, gentle tones, as he had done to the rest of the visitors. Finally, he gave Bard and Tanaka each light pats on their shoulders, raised Finnian's head, and cupped Mei Rin's face before striding to the center of the room, calling everyone to attention. He glanced at his pocket watch and sighed, putting it away as if it were irrelevant. This action on his part only served to further the queasy foreboding the others felt. Taking a deep breath, Sebastian said, "I don't suppose there's any use dawdling, nor do I believe there is any easy, clean way to go about this endeavor. I have brought you all here today because someone wishes to speak to you."

With that, the door near the servants opened, and in walked none other than Ciel Phantomhive.

The resulting buzz from the rest of the people in the room ranged from joy to panic. Even Lau and Ran Mao seemed caught off guard. Only the Undertaker kept his composure, merely raising and tilting his head in curiosity and near amusement. Ciel held up his hand to the small crowd, refusing to look at them. "Silence," he said, in just as irritated a tone as ever. "I have something to tell all of you.”

A fearful and anticipatory silence settled over the whole room. Although Ciel had clearly tried to keep his normal aloof attitude, he could not help it when that mask fell and was replaced by something that could almost be mistaken for guilt. Standing with his back to Sebastian and his face towards the rest, he began to speak.

"When I disappeared after the death of my parents and the destruction of my home, I was, in reality, captured by an underground cult. I still to this day do not have a clear picture of their purpose, although fairly recent interactions with the remains of this cult have given me a decent clue. During my time there, they branded me, tortured me, and nearly killed me. It wasn't until the moment before I would have died that I resorted to what is called the Faustian contract."

Ciel paused a moment, debating the diction of his next sentence, ignoring the horrified gasps from various people in the miniature crowd.

"Moments later, I found my enemies lying dead all around me, and myself restored and bound to a demon who would act as my butler until the day I avenged my parents. On that day, he would devour my soul."

Bard, Mei Rin, and Finnian all glanced at each other briefly, so many past experiences suddenly making sense. Mei Rin stared at Sebastian blankly. At length, Sebastian looked her way, prompting her to look emotionlessly at her shoes. Sebastian, in turn, did the same, holding his head lower than normal.

Ciel continued to speak to the small crowd. "Doubtless this is connecting many inexplicable events in your minds. At any rate, there's more. The fire that ravaged this city - the one that Pluto caused - that was the day I got my revenge. The exact details are too complicated for me to explain to you lot at this moment, but the long and short of it is, an angel of massacre had corrupted Queen Victoria and led her to attempt to cleanse the country. That resulted, in part, with the annihilation of the Phantomhives, or at least that was the intention." Ciel paused to shudder at the thought of what had really happened to his parents.

"However, after my family had been avenged, complications arose. Sebastian found himself unable to devour my soul, as an injury sustained during the avenging battle caused the temporary loss of our contract seal." At this, Ciel removed his eyepatch and Sebastian slid the glove off of his hand with his teeth, both of them revealing the contract seal. The others all gasped once more. "This allowed another demon, this one rather a miscreant, to tamper with my soul. Once again, I'll not labor through the details of this with you. The result of that struggle ended with my becoming a demon and Sebastian remaining my butler." Ciel allowed his eyes to glow red in order to demonstrate, garnering more gasps from the rest of the people in the room.

Ciel's eyes returned to their normal midnight blue, and he once again donned the eyepatch. Sebastian followed suit with his glove, white as ever. "As it seems Sebastian is bound to me forever, and I do not appear to be dying unless killed in a certain way, I have decided to continue running Funtom as a demon. Obviously my - species, I suppose - is not a fact that anyone else need know. And besides, why let a perfectly successful and expanding company go to ruin like that? I will also continue to operate as the Queen's Guard Dog; no sense in letting England's Underworld go without proper control either. For all intents and purposes, I am back and I am staying - except, I realize, for one particular circumstance which is beyond my control, and I must mend that.”

Ciel paused and took a deep breath.

"Soma. Lizzy. Please come forward.”

Elizabeth and Prince Soma both obliged, looking bewildered and a little dazed. They reached Ciel, who held out his hand to each. He held Soma's wrist, palm facing upwards, and placed Elizabeth's palm down on it gently, grasping them together. There was a moment of solemn silence before Elizabeth's eyes grew wide.

"Ciel, no!" she tried to remove her hand, but it would not budge.

“Lizzy-"

"I don't care if you're a demon, I don't care about all the things you and Sebastian have done!" Elizabeth exclaimed, her voice rife with desperation. "I love you, Ciel, please don’t-"

"Lizzy!" Ciel's voice, previously a weary one, now silenced the entire room once more. "This is the best, I promise you. You have to trust me. I know things you do not know." He turned to Soma, who was standing as still and as shocked as if he had been turned into stone, his golden eyes wide and his lip nearly trembling.

"Ciel..." Soma began, as if to make absolutely certain of the earl's decision. Ciel just slightly nodded his head, somber as ever.

"Take care of each other," he instructed them. "And rest assured that this is the right way of things. I promise." He gave their hands a firm yet affectionate squeeze before releasing them. "Now then," he said, closing his eyes and running his hand through his hair to fix it. "I have things to do. Life will resume as usual, more or less. You may now all go about your daily business. Oh, and you four -" the young earl looked at Bard, Mei Rin, Finnian, and Tanaka, who still seemed to be processing the entirety of what had just happened. "I believe Sebastian will want a word with you soon." And with that, the earl departed from the room, followed by a Sebastian with a slightly changed demeanor.

Author’s Note: hey everyone! I’m starting to post my stories on here finally, so that’s exciting... I’m sorry if the formatting is off, I’m currently mobile. As soon as I can figure out how to log back in on my laptop I’ll try to make better posts. Meanwhile, you’ll probably have a deluge of chapters on this story. Enjoy!

[puckwritesstuff]

I LOVE THAT LAST CHAPTER OF YOUR MAIN FIC! ❤️ It makes me kinda sad to see it end... but is it really the end? All I know is that I'm looking forward for your future works! Especially that Media-Based Logyn AU that you posted. It makes me excited. Your one-shots of different Logyn AUs are also so good. Please don't ever stop! ❤️❤️

Thank you!! I will admit, seeing this ask made me go back and add an author's note at the end of the chapter that I forgot to post:

"Loki and Sigyn will return in Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness and Thor: Love and Thunder."

I marked the fic as complete for two reasons:

I have no new chapters, and am not likely to have any more any time soon. The next two movies I'll be adapting are coming out back-to-back and I need time to figure out how I'm going to adapt them and how they're going to fit with what I've already done, while still maintaining the story that the filmmakers were telling. Just from the trailer of Love and Thunder, I know there's going to be a lot of jury-rigging to get that movie's New Asgard and my New Asgard to fit together.

From what I've seen, new readers are less nervous about picking up a completed story with a cliffhanger than an incomplete story that looks abandoned. I don't want the continuity lock-out that a lot of comics-based works end up having, and leaving it as complete for a few months while I work on other projects and new material helps ease those readers in. I did the same thing when I published Chapter 34-- huge cliffhanger and the promise that more is to come, but marking the fic as complete because I haven't written it yet.

I've already started working on two new projects-- the sequel to The Lady is a Tramp, and one of the media-based AUs that I came up with in that post you're referencing. I might even end up writing two of those AUs, one of them has really gripped me recently. I'd expect new chapters of the main fic to start sometime towards the end of the year. The stories I'm working on are summer stories and I want to start publishing at least one by June. These are soft deadlines though, so don't mark your calendar just yet. And, of course, I'm always open to prompts! ^_^

Unlike with the Take On Me fic series, Love, Duty, and Glorious Purpose is predicated on having MCU content to adapt, rather than me making plots and storylines wholesale. I dipped into a bit of that with the recent arc, but still with the conceit that this is an alternate version of the MCU, not just how I would tell the story. However, when the main fic finally does end, it will probably be because of the following reasons:

I get bored and no longer want to work on the project (not likely at the moment, but I'm fickle lol)

Tom Hiddleston stops playing Loki in the MCU (not seeing that at the moment, but he's alluded to it recently, and they'd want to give his version of the character a proper send-off should he chose to leave)

The MCU stops making content (not likely at all right now, but would include point 2 as well)

If 2 and 3 happen, but not 1, I might have some continued adventures, but if 1 happens I would definitely pull together an ending for Loki and Sigyn before marking the fic as complete for the last time.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for the ask!

[gamergirl8989]

Promises (F!Kiran x Alfonse version)

Hi everyone! So this is my English short story project that I'd done! This takes place after chapter 10, that's what the first half of the story is about. XD

Also, I didn't use my regular team, I just used the generic team (Alfonse, Sharena, Anna and Virion, but Virion is barely mentioned) because it would make more sense for my teacher. Also, for generic purposes, Kiran’s hair is black. XD

Anyways after I upload this I’m gonna upload the version that has my Summoner, Ayla in it. X3

Edit: here’s a link to the Ayla version: https://gamergirl8989.tumblr.com/post/167851174187/promises-ayla-x-alfonse-version-alright-so

Sorry for the longish Author's note, enjoy the story!

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Kiran watches as her Heroes get struck down by the Radiant Hero Ike, biting her lip. Virion had gone down due to Ike having distant counter, Anna got beaten earlier by Mist and Soren, and Sharena had gone down because she was closest to Ike, but she was able to do a great deal of damage before being defeated. The only Hero she had left on the field was Alfonse, and Ike was the only enemy left on the field. Alfonse was down to 5 health, but Ike was down to 3. "You got this Alfonse! You can beat him!" The black haired Summoner shouts to the blue haired prince. The prince smiles a bit, running at Ike and dealing the final blow. Afterwards, both the Heroes and enemies came back to life. "We lost. But I have no regrets. You have showed us your strength. We're not enemies. Someday, somewhere... We might just meet again. I look forward to it." Ike says.

"We did it! Our homeland is saved. It's time to head back!" Anna declares with a smile. "Ugh, I'm so tired..." Sharena complains. Kiran couldn't help but chuckle a bit, looking around and getting a bit distracted. "Alright, Kiran, let's get-" Anna starts, but was soon cut off by a loud sound. "What was that?" the red haired commander asks, confused. This made the black haired Summoner look back over at the group. "No!" Alfonse starts. "The gateway, it's closing..." he says, as the group starts running. Unfortunately, Kiran wasn't a fast runner like the others, so she had some trouble keeping up. "Kiran, hurry! This way!" she could hear Alfonse shout, but as she leaped to go through the portal, it closed. "No!" Kiran shouts, falling to the ground, but quickly getting up and looking around frantically.

"Hello, Summoner. This time, it's just you and me." A girl's voice could be heard. 'No. Not Veronica, anyone but her, not now!' Kiran thinks frantically, turning around with fear. She was right, it was the Emblian princess, Veronica, standing behind of Kiran with her tome open. "Your bratty little friends are on the other side of the Gateway. There's no one to save you now..." The princess continues, as Kiran tries to get away, only to trip and fall. "I made a promise to you, and I intend to keep it. It's time to die." Veronica continues. Kiran was frozen in fear, starting to tremble. "I'll pop your head right off... Just like I used to do with my dolls." Veronica says, smiling wickedly. Kiran closed her eyes, taking a shaky breath, readying herself for the pain that was about to come.

But it never came. A sudden blast of magic came from the distance and hitting Veronica, making Kiran’s eyes snap open. "Who dares-?" Veronica says, surprised by what just happened, and fell down from the force of the attack. Kiran stumbles to her feet, knowing this was a good chance to escape. "Run, Kiran! Towards the light!" a male's voice shouts. A Gateway opens, and Kiran stood there, shocked. "Just go! Trust me! I'm Zacharias – Alfonse and Sharena's friend!" the mystery man, who claims to be Zacharias, shouts. Kiran nods, and starts running towards the gateway. Kiran sees a flash of light, which did concern her, but she kept running. "Keep going! Your almost there!" Zacharias shouts. Another flash of light appeared. "Kiran! You'd better watch out for Alfonse and the others!" was the last thing she heard Zacharias shouts, before seeing one more flash, jumping through the portal.

The next thing Kiran knew, she in a foresty area, tumbling to the ground as she went through the portal. "Oof!" She grunted as she landed on the ground. "Kiran!" she could hear Alfonse say. Ayla looked up to see the blue haired prince running over to her, followed by Sharena and Anna. They ran to Kiran, who was now getting back onto feet. "There you are. Am I glad to see you!" Alfonse says. "Oh, Kiran!" Sharena says, both her and Alfonse hugging Kiran. This caught Kiran off guard, but she hugs back to reassure them. "When I saw you disappear just like Zacharias did, I thought my chest would burst." He says, looking very worried. "Me too. I'm so glad you're safe. Seriously, don't do that." Sharena says. She looked like she had been crying. "I'm so sorry I worried you guys... But your friend, Zacharias, he saved me – Veronica found me and was about to kill me, and –" Kiran stops herself for a second, taking a breath. "It's... It's a long story, I'll tell you guys on the way back to the Order." She says exasperatedly, while Sharena and Alfonse pull away from the hug. "What? You say that Zacharias saved you? What are you talking about? How..." Alfonse says. "Let's talk later! We have to get out of here before they close the gateway on us again!" Anna shouts. Alfonse, Kiran and Sharena nod, and the group starts running back.

The next day, Kiran was sitting in a secluded part of the garden, trying to relax. Everyone in the Order of Heroes heard about what had happened the day before to her, and everyone was constantly asking her if she was okay. To Kiran, it was very exhausting, having everyone worrying over her. Even in the garden, she could still feel someone watching her, but she tries to brush it off. 'Probably just Feh...' She thinks, looking around and seeing the fluffy white owl sitting on a branch nearby. Kiran sighs, thinking about something else that happened yesterday. She expected Sharena to hug her, that was normal for her. But it wasn't normal for Alfonse to hug anyone. She sighs, trying to figure out what it could mean, blushing a tiny bit. She then heard rustling of leaves, making Kiran snap out of her thoughts, sighing. "If this is you, Kargero or Saizo, this is the third time I'm telling you, I don't need protection. I highly doubt that Veronica would sneak in here to kill me." Kiran says, sighing.

"You can't be certain about that, Kiran." Was the response she got, but it wasn't from either of the Hoshidan ninjas. She looked up to see Alfonse. "Oh! Alfonse, hey!" Kiran says, smiling a bit. "S-Sorry, Saizo and Kagero have been on me all day about my safety." She says sheepishly. "It's okay." Alfonse says, coming over to her. Kiran blushes a bit, but tried to hide it by pulling her hood up over her head. "Kiran? Are you okay? You've been acting off lately..." Alfonse says worriedly. "O-Oh, yeah, I'm fine!" Kiran says quickly. She was afraid of ruining the two's friendship if she was truthful about her feelings, especially if he didn't feel the same way. Alfonse frowns, having the feeling that she wasn't telling the truth. "Kiran, you can tell me." He says. Kiran gulps a bit. "I... I don't want it to ruin our friendship..." she mumbles, looking down slightly. "Hm?" Alfonse asks, not being able to hear her.

Kiran could feel her heart pounding wildly, sighing and standing up. "I..." She starts, unsure of how she should say this. Alfonse listens, frowning from worry. "I... I love you..." she says, quickly pulling her hood further over her face to hide her blush. Alfonse stood there, shocked. When Kiran didn't hear a response, she felt tears form in the corners of her eyes. "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything..." She whispers, about to leave. However, she didn't expect Alfonse to grab her hand and hug her. "There's no need to be sorry." Alfonse starts, wrapping one arm around her, then letting go of Kiran’s hand to move her hood. Kiran looks at him, shocked. She was still blushing, not expecting this. Alfonse then leans in and kisses her. Kiran’s eyes widen a bit, but then closed her eyes and kisses back. After a few seconds, Alfonse pulls away, looking into Kiran’s eyes.

"...Because I love you too." Alfonse finishes. Kiran smiles and hugs him, her hood falling off her head in the process. Alfonse smiles and hugs back, resting his head on top of hers gently, being that bit taller than her. "I wasn't sure if you felt the same way, I was scared of ruining our friendship..." Kiran mumbles. "Well, I do feel the same, and I want you to know that I vow to protect you, Kiran." Alfonse says. Kiran smiles looking up at him. "Thank you, Alfonse... I swear, I'll help you all I can throughout this war, and stay by your side, and bring peace back to Askr." Kiran vows. Alfonse smiles, kissing her forehead. "Thank you..." he says. The two stay in each other's arms for a little, promising that they'd never abandon the other.