#I'll post my art again once I feel like it's good enough I guess

[simm-mouse]

I'm going to stop posting art for a while, I haven't really been satisfied with the art I've been showing as ever recently. I'm sorry but I'm just really unhappy with my art right now, I just don't feel like it's good enough to show it. I'll still be here posting stuff, just anything but art

[kosmicdream]

im confident enough to post FFAK, which has anal prolapse, but i dont post the true drama....... my opinions about manga. *dramatic music* sometimes i kinda want to do some reviews.. its mostly me complaining.. it makes me sound so bitter like "do you like anything kosmic!" and..yes ! i do!!! okay!! i like a lot of things. once in a while, i dip my toes into a popular series to try to see if we are a good fit. Series like: Beastars, Dorohedoro, Dungeon meshi,ect.. and i kind. well. I dont like any of them LMAO. I mean, Ok, i actually really was into Beastars for a time, but after the fight with the bear guy (its been a few years sorry) and that story arc concluded.. it just spiraled to laughable levels and did not recover. I was genuinely laughing at it at times bc it kind of felt like a desperate scramble with the like. loopholes and power upgrades.. But I was invested for a time, it had a charm to me! I also loved the art and im curious about the authors next series about santa (partly because i too, am writing a story about santa). Dorohedoro has a great visual style, fun characters, i enjoyed reading but it also kinda didnt ...land for me beyond that, which is a shame. I feel like it is a series that "should" have clicked with me. And its like, not offensive to me but.. I'll forget that ive read the whole thing. I like STUFF in it. but thats not enough for me anymore. If i had read it when i was younger tho, it might have been a diff story. idk. My most unpopular opinion of all is that... I hated Dungeon Meshi.. Sure its ..pretty! cute designs. but i found it SO painfully boring and it actually was a struggle to finish. in the end, it felt like a waste of time.. SHOCKING take i know. That is the darling of everyones heart and i like, understand WHY its popular. .. but for me, i was not fed by anything. i am unfed and starved and going to eat elsewhere oh, and i.. as a person who has read a lot of fighting mangas.. I have tried to read chainsaw man, but i dont know if I can. I did finish Fire Punch. I'm surprised to say: i kinda liked it but it took a long time to force myself to read thru it. I honestly hated many aspects of Fujimoto's storytelling/character acting that i didn't think my opinion on it would change, but I'm a little more open to it now. I dont think i could ever super be into it or whatever, but i did find genuine enjoyment in aspects of fire punch. I did not really like look back. I haven't read his other one shot(s)? Where am i going with all this..I guess im giving some unrequested reviews after all...oops... a lot of this is spurred by how houseki no kuni is one of my most fav series, not only visually/characters/story/ect.. but i cant lie.... the ending... was kind of a flop for me... gorgeous and poetic ig sure but.. AUGH! it isnt what i wanted. maybe it'll be one of those "it'll grow on me" endings but thats mostly me having to go thru the 5 stages of personal grief and gaslight myself into it, but as the like actual honest first-reaction feeling it kinda lost me. I think it did not work when i felt the confrontation btwn phos/cinnabar wasn't the one i wanted to see. i will say tho, while im dissapointed, its not like a DEEP one or anything. I know its a miracle to even get to an ending.. i guess my take away feeling from it was like "everything fit together too well, too planned" but didnt feel planned, emotionally. I wasn't sold on it. Anyway, im here to speak my truth and my hot takes which, i honestly dont even want to have that one about HnK but its the real feeling i have for it.. Once again Utena's ending just has made all these other issues i have with various stories more obvious LOL

[captainjacklyn]

Another DOL post..I'm never stopping with these, it's just fun for me to share my characters which I am disappointed to not be able to draw. My art skills can be easily bested by that of a six year old's hand paint.

He indeed identifies as a male though if you saw the previous post about him (the first post about him really) Elias can change his genitals, due to his human DNA being mixed with several different animals.

Degrees of Lewdity :

ReLaTiOnShIpS :

ROBIN

"Robin? You better be careful with him, if I find out that you're planning something- Uh? Oh, you just want to get to know him? Very well, I guess that's alright, I'm not even sure why I got worked up. It's his fault if he gets into trouble...doesn't mean I wouldn't go out of my way to protect him."

Looks after Robin.

Acts like a mother for him, highly strict and demanding when interacting face to face but behind the scenes, he does everything he can to look after him and make sure he's safe.

The only one Elias genuinely cares for.

*pat pat* you stay there and play games while I sell my body to take your debt okay?

Good.

Manipulates this one like crazy, "I'M DOING ALL OF THIS FOR YOU HOW DARE YOU TALK BACK TO ME-"

His words not mine.

SYDNEY

"He's my partner if that's what you were wondering, I've spent quite a good amount of time with him. Don't fill his mind with too many lewd thoughts if you plan on seducing him, his purity is rather useful. He even gifted me a dress last week..Mhm? Yes..I am fond of Sydney."

Elias doesn't particularly understand his own emotions.

He just likes having Sydney since his privileged life/status makes it easier for him as well.

Did go out of his way to spend time with him at the beach, proceeded to question every single idea which led him to do so.

WHITNEY

"Whitney tried to use me for quick money making on multiple occasions, you ram your knee in the balls and run, he doesn't take hits there very nicely."

Yeah no.

They don't get along.

Elias just ignores him whenever he tries to interact, will dismiss him when the time comes.

I've tried to allow it, but from the shaming to the constant abusive scenarios, there isn't much to allow.

KYLAR

"He got his ass thrown into prison, and for all I know, he just belongs to the asylum. I assure you that I attempted to aid him, he wasn't treated very kindly so I assumed to have found someone I can understand and relate to. Turns out he was a perverted psycho...Oh really ? I'll give you this one fact, Kylar never loved me, he just wanted to keep me as a possession."

Dismissed Kylar.

You think this guy wants to make out with the equivalent of a pathetic wet rat ? He doesn't even know if he likes the librarian who treats him with kindness.

Nuh-uh.

Nah.

Stans are coming after me, but my boy openly defended a dude who decided to stalk him in response.

BAILEY

"...What about Bailey? He has done many things for me as a child, I know that our hearts have never been one, I see that now. But if it means seeing her again..I'll pay him off, I'll pay Robin's debt along with my own and we'll run from this god forsaken swill of a town."

The first reason as to why Elias is so hardworking is because he believes that once his debt is fully repaid, he'll be able to see Monika.

Otto Hightower and Alicent toxic dad and daughter~

Woohoo and the line of trauma doesn't stop there cause Elias also treats Robin like SHIT-

The pressure of needing to save those he cares for is so great that it causes him to install his own suffering on them as well.

You're stronger than you think Elias, you're strong enough to stand as a wall between Robin and Bailey, between Sydney and Himself, between the Orphans and this Fucked up Place.

Burn your feelings to the ground and carry on.

Woah too emotional on the last one chill-

[theviolentblue]

'ashes to ashes' - the violent blue

sometimes when I notice the beautiful golden rays cascading off the tall cypress tree along my walking path, I can't help but wonder if it, too, might just turn to ash?

sometimes I want to kill things. not people, not animals, just things. I want to roll like a fireball across the desert and wipe out whatever tries to take cover. I don't want this. but I want to want it more than I've ever wanted to want anything before. I've always wanted to want what everyone else wants, and it seems like recently everyone wants to kill things, so that's what I want and I will stand firmly on that ground for eternity.

sometimes I can't help but over-exaggerate my feelings. when it's increasingly difficult to get even a single stray thought across without excessive intake of caffeine or pills, I guess I tend to take advantage of those times that I achieve levels of acceptable articulation, or at least acceptable enough that I am half-way understood. after all, if people don't understand the motive behind my ideas or thoughts or things I say (like "sometimes I want to kill things"), vitriol is often more likely than curiosity, and I'll probably end up ignored or outcast.

sometimes I victimize myself. this can manifest in various ways. for example, the false belief that I am misunderstood. in some ways, I may be too understood. I have cut my chest open and bled on stage for complete strangers, and after waking up on the linoleum, house lights on, I've asked if the art was good enough for them? did they clap? I act as though I have been forced to do this by the "consumerist, all-entertainment-no-substance, charlatan-led" society that... we live in, but I do it to myself. I'm here again, right now, doing exactly that, just so I might have a chance to repeat the cycle once more. am I a masochist? am I greedy? am I anything?

sometimes I think too much. the best moments in my life are the moments I don't... think, that is.

sometimes I wish I could just be a cypress tree, no desire nor ability to scream and dance and perform to be noticed, and no need to be noticed at all. I wonder if that's how you feel right now. you thought too much, and victimized yourself, and over-exaggerated. or, at least that's what they told you, so you didn't view yourself as a human anymore, just as a thing. and you wanted to kill things. and you did. I'd like to think your body found it's way back into something worth living for. you were my world, and when I watch our earth slowly burn, all I can possibly think about is you.

sometimes I notice you now, dancing between my thoughts like light between the pines of that cypress tree, and I can't help but wonder if it, too, might just turn to ash?

-

hey tumblr. this is my first time posting on here so go easy on me. I wanted to share this piece I wrote a few months ago and performed at my university. hopefully you can find some meaning in it, because it's yours now.

follow along here for more pieces like this, or check out my youtube (www.youtube.com/@theviolentbluetube) for some video pieces like this. excited to share more with you soon, including some songs I've been working on.

[ink-flavored]

Song Pic Saying Tag Game

Thank you to @vacantgodling for tagging me!

Rules: Pick an OC and post a song you relate to them, an image that represents them in some way (aesthetic, picrew, art, etc), and a quote of dialogue or narration from them. Totally feel free to expand and explain!

This got long so I'll do the tagging right up front: @duelistkingdom @liv-is @hallwriteblr @mjjune @zeenimf and anyone else who wants to!

I have the perfect combo for this in the form of Justice, everyone's favorite emotionally conflicted angel

Song

For non-Spotify users, here is a Youtube link to Songbirds by Ben Thornewill, and just the lyrics if you don't feel like listening to audio.

I picked this song for Justice because throughout the story he struggles with his perfectionism, a sort of "holy imposter syndrome" (i.e. not being good enough of an angel), and a crisis of faith once Heaven has made clear he's no longer welcome. He's still loyal to God, he wants to continue being an angel and do what he's been created for (serving humanity and being a literal embodiment of justice), but now he's been told he doesn't belong. And on Earth, he's the "songbird in the city air" as mentioned in the song. He feels like he's never going to "make it" -- never be good enough to get in Heaven's good graces again. He has a stubborn sense of morality and refuses to compromise on his ideals, which is exactly the thing they rejected in him. He starts to realize... maybe they were right. He doesn't belong. Obviously that's a bit of a downer for him.

When it comes to "playing the part," he still acts the part of an angel even though he's as close to being a fallen angel as he can be while keeping his wings attached. Being able to literal sense human pain and suffering, he is programmed by God to help every person on the street no matter what. And despite doing this, he doesn't really get the sense he's actually materially helping, at all. No matter how many problems he solves, there's never a dip in the grand scheme of things. He cares so deeply that it hurts, and despite his estrangement from Heaven, he's more than willing to bend over backwards for humanity, doing whatever anyone needs. To his own detriment, sometimes.

In a way, he doesn't really belong anywhere anymore. Not in Heaven, not in Hell, not on Earth. He's in a perfect in-between, everywhere he goes. Like a bird in the city.

Pic

This art was a commission from @auroblaze and also directly inspired by the song above!

We can get the obvious symbolism out of the way right now - Justice, large wings, sitting and watching some birds, who are flying merrily into the sky. Free to go wherever they please, while Justice can't. He's kept all the holy signifiers, his wings and halo, but is unable to use them the way he wants to. He's up high, closer to Heaven, but will never be able to reach as high as the birds can.

Also please take note of the grandma sweater. That has nothing to do with this symbolism, but it is a very important part of his character.

Saying

Okay so. Most of these thoughts are in my head instead of on the page, but there is ONE I can use.

Context: Justice invites Pride to a church event and when they get home, they have this conversation.

“I know, I guess I…” Justice leaned against the wall, brow furrowed. “I was trying to prove something to myself.” “Like what?” He didn’t answer right away, picking at his nails. “I know you don’t want a relationship with God,” he said, slow and deliberate, “and that’s fine. I would never ask you to. But I don’t think that means you have to be abandoned by me—by us. We can still get along, we don’t have to be separate to coexist. Does that make sense?”

Justice is both trying to prove to himself that Pride's demon status doesn't preclude him being able to hang out with humans (and at least one angel) in a civil way, and in turn that the eternally suffering that God prescribes for sinners to be illegitimate. Justice, deeply faithful even after being thrown out by Heaven, feels like it's wrong for him to be cast out, but for his many thousands of years of life, he's been told demons deserve it. If that's wrong too... maybe all of it's wrong.

And also he invited Pride because Justice liiiiikes himmmmmm~~~~

[layingeggs]

Sorry I haven't been active on here art wise. Not that I have to produce content or anything. But I do want this to be an art blog! And I'm not art blogging! So like, I need to be able to express that I guess.

But here's some stuff I feel happy to show. First of all, my girly.

This is my oc. My original child. Her name is Rietta. She is a lowpoly character with 5 articulated fingers sitting at a cool 708 tris. Why? I don't know. Why not!

I suppose it is a pain to have to animate all of those fingers even if the polycount allows it. But then, don't you have the same amount of animating fingers with mid poly and high poly characters??? Surely, I can't allow Shrek of all things to impose the limits of my artistic ability?

Anyway I shan't be doing this again I don't think. I'm rather enamoured with the lowpoly muppet hands in fact. And Rietta shall walk through the muppet handed world, alone with her articulated fingers. She will be a queen of the monsters. Just like how in Labyrinth, the goblins are all puppets and the goblin king is a meaty man.

But here's my wonderful girly. Unanimated because I keep distracting myself going on to do other things right when I'm in the middle of something else. I've decided to start some plant creature studies.

It's palmon from the digimon series! Drawn from reference. In many ways, she is the ideal plant monster I think. Mentally, I am comparing your plant monsters to her. I know that it's unlikely that your plant monsters will be as cool as her, but the point is that you have to try!

I'm going to draw up some more plant monsters, and then I want to try making my own wonderful plant child. I may post her here. I don't think she'll be as cool as palmon. But that's okay. The important thing is to try. We are striving for the ideal.

Hoo ee boy I tell you. All that fiddly hatching and such? Massive pain. It's good to try and draw like this every now and then to exercise your art skills but I definitely want to cultivate an art style of communicating as much cuteness and coolness as I can with a minimum of lines and brush strokes!!

It's like I'm in a gym. I've got to do deadlifts at least once. Squats are the king of exercises! But ultimately what I really want long term is to just find an exercise regimen that keeps me in shape and keeps me happy. That's how art is innit? You want to draw the tough stuff at least once, but ultimately the only long term thing you want to do is find a good paced doodling.

So yeh. I'll get through my plant studies and then go back to animating girls. Alongside this mountain of other stuff I'm not posting because I'm juggling too much. Too much dilletantism or not enough? I think so long as I'm still making stuff, I'm happy!

[aquareegia]

Hello,

I can't sleep and I just wanted to share some thoughts regarding our book project. These are my own thoughts, I'm sure @vesselsscarlet will share their own thoughts if they want to.

I've overcome the frustrations tbh, I just feel deflated now lol. I just know I will never do something like that ever again. What really got to me, were the asks I received, when we started to get a little more direct.

I almost wish I didn't delete some of them, just to show you how rude and condescending some people were about it... but I really didn't want to have to see it whenever I looked into my inbox because it really made me feel like shit.

It didn't help that people kept comparing us to other projects and made us feel like we are not good enough with what we offered. Other than the downright rude asks, I'm sure those people actually didn't mean any harm, but it still came off iffy in the whole context tbh.

Just to state a few facts... we started this project in December. We announced it very early, we didn't even have a deadline set for a while.

Once we knew a touring schedule, we quickly shared a deadline, which was realistic for us to be able to finish the book in time (despite living in different states and not being able to work directly together). There was plenty of time before and after we announced a deadline. We did put up reminders and updates and we said in our first posts to check out the tag in case you miss something. We simply can't put up weekly reminders and run after every single person. It also would be pushy and annoying tbh.

You're all old enough to follow simple instructions and set your own schedules.

I don't care for explanations why it didn't work out tbh. We all have our private lives that take priority. We all have our struggles with mental health that sometimes cause us to procrastinate and lack motivation for something that isn't a priority. If anyone gets that, it's me. However... we also said that we ask for one simple thing, and that is communication!

We're not some monsters, that'd bite off your head if you asked for more time or something. It's ok if you'd need more time but is it too much to ask for a little heads up?

We have always said that this project is only possible with your help. If there's just cricket chirping in response, what are we supposed to do?

Like I said I personally won't be doing any fan projects in the future anymore. I still very much value the people in this community but I won't lie and say that I'm not a bit disappointed.

Lia and I still have to talk about what we will do with this project. Idk if it even makes sense to extend the time frame tbh. I feel like the majority of those who would've participated, would've done so by now but yeah... idk man.

Guess I'll leave a poll here to get an idea of what to do.

Whatever we choose to do, the book won't be happening this year either way. At the current state, we won't be able to finish it in time for November, so we can only hand it over next year.

Thank you to everyone who submitted their letters and art and did give us a little heads up in case something would be late. We truly appreciate you, and we're sorry we can't hand over your letters as soon as we hoped to. 😔

[iantimony]

sick and weak shabbosposting

thankfully that is a woe-is-me exaggeration. my therapist last week said she was getting over a cold but was no longer contagious and i, like a fool, believed her!!! woe!!! agony!!! struck down by seasonal cold!!! and yet i persist

listening: about halfway through episode 5 of partizan! so far i have laughed a lot more than i thought i would, the most recent bit that had me cackling was about "donating" their "extra mech" to midnite as "charity". really really good. am keeping up with SSHG episodes, i am very excited for them to watch the first hunger games movie at some point.

reading: we're back on the academic papers. i'm giving a general-audience presentation on my research on monday to other graduate students and needed to make sure that i actually understood the fundamental assumptions that we made about the topic. the good news is i think i do! the bad news is uh oh, gotta make a presentation... some articles i read this week: against access, john lee clark: this was a really really cool article. definitely has made me re-think the way i should be doing captions on images. the poetry of the tactile descriptions of people involved with protactile made me a little emotional. vanishing words, grazia rutherford-swan: i'm not sure how to articulate how i felt about reading this. it's raw and it's good. content warnings for abuse and assault. crying in luke's lobster, byran woods: i am not a public crier and i do not think i will ever be but i am working on being more vulnerable and allowing myself to cry in therapy right now. i think if i were to be a public crier, train station restaurants in NYC are probably the ideal choice, followed closely by airport food courts and library stacks (does this count as public still?)

watching: last weekend i watched the cowboy bebop movie with the boyf!

COMPLETELY unrelated but at this point in writing this post a car driving down the main street my apartment is absolutely BLASTING you're out of touch i'm out of time. incredible. no notes.

anyways i enjoyed the bebop movie! once again they are soooo weird about native americans. it is a little funny to see the like...the way western media others the "far east", but it's japanese media doing that but about native americans? there's something to talk about there that someone more articulate than i can take care of. some of the timeline of this movie didn't quite track to me but it's fairly easy to hand-wave (vincent would have had to have been made immune to the nanomachines BEFORE having ~relations~ with elektra and then lost his memory in some separate incident i guess? or lost it just as time went on? who knows, also the implication of the Sexually Transmitted Nanomachine Vaccine is sooo funny). i really liked the comedy relief old guys getting a job to do!! good movie overall, 9/10.

making: i gave up on intarsia for my stupid vertically striped scarf and instead have cast on [drumroll] three hundred and sixty nine stitches!!! give it up for three hundred and sixty nine stitches!!!! my main worry now is that one 50g skein of each color will not be enough and i'll have to order more and risk the dye lots being crazy different...

anyways, ceramics! last saturday i took a day trip to an art museum and nearby ceramics supply store and got a bunch of underglazes, so i'm excited to try out some of those!

did a carving of an illuminated manuscript-style dragon inspired by this beastie on a mug! obviously he is difficult to photograph because curved object, and also isn't colored in yet so it's a bit difficult to pick out, but i'm hoping some fun and creative glaze application will make this guy really really fun

misc: very thankful that i have a work-from-home friendly schedule right now! wednesday suuuuucked, thursday was a little better, and i feel a little better again today, so hopefully with the weekend to recuperate i'll be good for my presentation on monday!

[perelka-l]

You’re a fucking icon and I hope you know it.

People complain all the time about seeing shit they don’t want to see but guess what? THE BLOCK BUTTON IS RIGHT THERE! TAG FILTERS ARE RIGHT THERE!

To all those who are scared, take your time to build up courage and know that people sending you threats/shaming you for the things you like is NOT YOUR FAULT. Being loud and proud about what you like unabashedly is beautiful. You enjoying yourself is what matters.

Also love your art. Especially the exchamps one where they’re both covered in scars and bloody. It’s so feral and I love it. Plus Draycest very good! I can’t decide which I like more: Drayden being aware of Drayton’s attraction to him and waiting for him to make a move, or Drayden not knowing and trying desperately to hide his own attraction to Drayton 👀

Thank you, anon, but I just do similar thing I ever did. At least now I can put things I believed in in words and direct myself more easily where my belief is, but essentially... Yeah. If that is a thing that has to be said and I can say it, hey, might just as well do it. And as I said, it really breaks my heart to see fans be so scared out of this fear. If anything I say coaxes someone out of it, makes someone feel more brave, I can be only happy.

I can fully second what you said. Although it's okay to be scared too, but please remember that online fandom gives you tools to keep out of fire and not put yourself at risk of anything but angry words of someone with no importance. Also indeed pride is a good word here. It's pride month, and something something kink something your fav gays something it's all connected. You get what I mean.

(Plus, c'mon, as I look at jpn fandom I can see everyone get into race who can draw more Kieran in microbikinis, why the fuck they can have fun and not us!!! (I am gonna draw that once I finish online bit of comic ywy))

I think the issue with "the block button is here" is an approach. It feels natural to you, because you know not everything is for you,, you carve out your own space, and that's fine. But for them, if they see something, the thing is on their territory, not other way round. It's not enough to look away, they want it gone from their space - and their space is for them the entirety of where they look.

If there is light shining in your eyes, you just move out of its path or hide in shadow, they want the source of light gone but won't move an inch.

(For fuck's sake, someone recently left a comment on my semi-abandoned instagram on a post from 2020 (???) with DanHiru (two naruto old men) kissing, throwing a hiss how disgusting it is that Hiruzen is gay and how they "never want to see this again"?? Like, how does one even FIND this kind of stuff on INSTA for starters. I was so baffled...)

Thank you for your love as well ;w;)b I feel like I really went hard with this art haha, I am unsure if I'll be able to top it anytime soon. I am so stupid proud of it, fr...

Draycest for me is very appealing when Drayden is aware of Drayton's crush, of Drayton's deep, deep desire. I saw some scenario on other side of fence that Drayton possibly could be a pretty much free use slut to try and make Drayden furious, maybe jealous, definitely angry for him. There is an element that Drayton would trust him, would allow himself to be vulnerable and open in his grandfather's arms and it's a rare thing for this guy... But then, Drayden might not even know where such behavior stems from. Maybe though it awakens something more protective or possessive within him...

I love the thought of Drayden harboring his own desire, one that repulses him to no end. Drayden is a type to stick to roles, he's an upstanding man, a mayor, a public person. That little perversion, that dark lust, the fact that he looks at his own grandson and wants. I like the thought that dragon trainers are a bit specific and pretty dragon-like in some behaviors and Drayden is an old man, tempered, wise dragon type... And then there is something that isn't even denied to him but he has to deny himself.

They are so tasty, it makes my head spin... Waaaaaaah...

[fazafras-pizza]

Semi Long (but not super serious) Update Post

((OP: Hi! Sorry for the sporadic posting. I know May was kind of light on content -- I think I've mentioned it before, but I have a comic outside of this that I work on and was trying to dedicate myself to it for the entirety of May and it's got a bit to it (I only got a page and a half done lol, but that's still some! So I'll take it.) Plus I've obviously got other life stuff, but that's my main art focus that would eat up my time.

I would've probably had another post today since I was feeling artsy (it's all I did this afternoon tbh), but I kind of ran out of asks again and couldn't think of anymore mini comics besides the one that's going to transition us to the next Night Shift that I haven't scripted out. (It's so annoying having so much motivation but no creativity 😅)

But the good news from that I guess is that, if you were ever worried about if your ask would get buried if you sent it in, don't be! I've answered nearly every single one that's come in since we came back last August (btw: oh my gosh it's nearly been a year since we've been back that's wild), so I will definitely get to it, like, immediately lol. Y'all send in such good and fun asks and I love making responses for them, you guys genuinely make this such a good time and I appreciate you so much, I can't express that enough. I wouldn't still be doing this if it wasn't for you guys and it makes me so excited to show you what else I've got planned for the blog because ohhhh buddy :))))))

(Like, there is no joke a completed story start to finish planned for this blog and all it's characters. That's how much I love it and everything for it.)

BUT! On another totally different topic -- I wanna talk about accessibility stuff! This pops up in my mind every once in a while and I wanted to posit it here:

Obviously this blog operates with a lot of images containing text and I know a lot of people find it helpful to have image descriptions as part of their experience here on Tumblr. I think the way I would do it is probably going back through and updating all the alt image description things where I can, but I know some posts are so old (since I started this blog in 2017) that that might not be possible. With how there's often continuing text dialogue under those images, do you think that written out image descriptions would interrupt that? And if so, should I post the image descriptions under the text dialogue?

This might be something I have to contemplate for a while, but I think moving forward I'll just start including it in the images because I don't think it'd be too difficult, it's just something I know I'm overlooking.

Likewise, should I make a tab on the blog that has a summary of the "plot" of the blog? That way new followers can catch up without it seeming daunting and old followers can get a refresher if they need to.

Let me know your thoughts and if there's anything else I could do to make it more accessible that I might have not considered! Again, thank you all for following this silly little blog and making it such a joy to run, it's been wonderful, and I'm looking forward to running it for so much longer! 🥰))

[dandy-bones]

Ask Game: List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers :)

⭐️Sure I'll do this! I don't get asks often.

List of 5 things that make me happy.

1.) My boyfriends.

Bein' around them, whether just in servers or in our lil chat, always makes my day better. They're so cute and funny. I love playin' Minecraft with @gb-diesellok and I used ta play Palworld with @golden-spike. I still wanna find more games ta play with them. They're very understandin' about what I've been through and try ta be supportive. We listen to each other and talk through any problems we might have goin' on. And, when we don't wanna talk about it, we're still there for each other. Eventually we talk it through, but bein' patient and not pryin' is important. I feel safe with them and when life is really bad I know I can be with them and feel better.

2.) Food.

I love food and I always have. I can't eat a lot of things in this life because of Tay's food texture issue, but I still get ta sweet talk her into lettin' me try different stuff if I think we can both handle it. I also just like lookin' at food. I dunno what it is about it. I know you all have seen the food I reblog.

3.) Travel.

I used ta travel all the time in my past life. In this one, Tay's work doesn't really let us travel but her determination does. I've been to both coasts of this country thanks to her! I still want ta go to a sandy beach at some point. I've only been to a rock east coast one. We're suppose ta go ta Florida this year so that'll be a new place! I can't wait! We're also tryin' ta save up ta see Kerkopes and their system again. It's always a goal we have because we love hangin' out with them! Hopefully our health will be good enough so we can keep up with them when we walk around town.

4.) Streaming.

At the heart of who I am: I'm an entertainer. In my past life I was chasin' money when I shoulda tried ta just become an entertainer. I did band stuff and I loved that. Now with Tay, I found a passion for doin' the streamin' stuff. I look forward to it every time we have one, I even enjoy her art ones because I get ta sing. It's nice! Here's the gaming channel. This is the art one that is strictly 18+.

5.) Going for walks.

Tay tries ta let me go outside at least three times a week, which is a lot for us. Now that it's gettin' warmer out, I would like ta be outside at least once a day. We take walks to the gas station down the road, just ta get some exercise and some drinks for the week. Then, when Tay has Ko-Fi orders, we go to the post office and to the lil sandwich stop nearby. It's pretty nice! Our health has gotten a lot better too since we've started bein' more active!

⭐️Thanks for sendin' me this! I might send this to a couple other people. Not sure yet. I guess it depends on who like this ask.

[likegemstone]

I have been in a really good groove with creating lately, and just with like "working" in general. In the past, creating has often involved a massive and constant mental wrestling match against myself—second guessing every decision, fighting through constant discouragement, rarely if ever feeling confident in what I'm working on, etc. Just all this emotional/mental exertion on top of the regular emotional/mental exertion that goes into making art.

But lately I have felt really in sync with myself—we're dancing instead of wrestling. I've been brave enough to try out new things that I've never done before (which is REALLY hard for me, like REALLY hard), and been able to notice and accept the areas of my work that I can see need improvement without beating myself up bc they aren't "good enough" yet. It has been really nice, and has shown me that, when I can care for and take responsibility for myself properly (which I now have the skills and tools to do thanks to a lot of inner work and also therapy), I can learn, grow, and improve pretty steadily, and without all the agony of that fucking exhausting wrestling match.

However.

I made a post recently about how I want to draw Daivad getting his ass kicked (and also kicking ass), right? That is in great part due to the fact that I was, at the time, rereading Kengan Asura/Kengan Omega (which is an MMA manga) and I was Very Inspired. And I still am. I've been gathering reference and inspo ever since then. And today I ran out of Haikyuu!! to watch so I was like okay now is the time—I want to draw some sick action scenes with Daivad.

But then. Here comes the anxiety. The overwhelm. The "there's no way you can pull off some sick action scenes—you can barely place characters in a scene and make it look legit, you want to try to do multiple characters interacting in a scene in extreme and dynamic poses?? no shot. and once you try and inevitably fail then you're going to be discouraged and start beating yourself up again and you'll ruin this momentum we've got going on."

So, this post is going to be me using those tools and skills I have now to work through this. Because I know I can. I've done it before.

First skill I'm going to be using: recognizing what exactly is triggering this anxiety, and figuring out a plan to care for the Part of me that's triggered. I want to ensure I'm making my decisions from Core, not from a triggered Part, and I also want to ensure I'm caring for those vulnerable Parts!

I think the thing that is making me feel so anxious and overwhelmed is because dynamic action scenes are so far out of my comfort zone and I haven't come up with a plan for connecting the dots of my current skill to Dynamic Action Scene Skill. It's a whole big leap, and that Part of me sees aaaaalllll of those, like dozens of really tricky dots that I have not mastered yet (perspective, composition, conveying movement, dynamic poses IN perspective, and so on) and is like "!!!!! HOLD UP THAT'S TOO MUCH I CAN'T FIGURE THIS OUT ALL AT ONCE. Trying to master all that stuff will take literal years and probably good money to pay for lessons from people who know wtf they're doing!!"

So, I'll care for that Part by saying: That's true! And it's okay! I'm not going to try to get the perfect action scene down right away, because you're right. Trying to force that would absolutely wreck our confidence and be really frustrating as well. And I appreciate the reminder that biting off more than I can chew can knock me back a few steps. Small bites are best sometimes.

Next skill, now that that Part has calmed down a lot and also feels steadied: coming up with a plan. I want to draw Daivad getting his ass kicked, but don't currently have the skills to pull off a whole Dynamic Action Scene yet. So how am I going to meet that desire/feed my inspiration (Daivad getting his ass kicked) while still protecting my Parts, challenging my skills, and caring for my mental health?

One dot at a time.

I could start with just breaking down some of my favorite panels from KA. Examining how Daromeon frames his scenes, how he works with perspective, how he conveys movement, etc. But specifically I want to see Daivad getting his ass kicked—so maybe I'll start with just one pose that feels doable for my skill level, use KA as reference for the pose and put Daivad in it, and since I have gotten decent at capturing his likeness, I can challenge myself to put an extreme expression on his face and still have him be recognizable. That's totally doable—it'll take time and work and lots of effort, but it's doable! And it will bring me one step closer to Dynamic Action Scene skill level!

Alright, now I'm feeling excited and fired up and also I have an exact pose in mind and I think I already have it saved somewhere, so I am off to draw Daivad, Bloody and In Pain. Wish me luck y'all!

[stvlti]

Fic writer tag

@silenthillmutual tagged me in this challenge. Cheers! Here are my answers:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Not counting orphaned / anonymous works, I have 48 fics across both accounts

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

168,810 (sum total of both accounts)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

DC comics & related media; Death Note; Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (way way back); Noragami (also way way back).

I used to write RPF too (I was a teenager, of course I did) but I've scrubbed all that from my ao3 profiles.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

top 5 fics not including anonymous ones:

Old aches become new again (DCU | Jason & Dick shenanigans, background Jay/Roy/Kori)

Imposter Syndrome (DCU | JayRoy)

Growing Pains (DCU × The Lego Batman Movie | Dick & Batdad gen fic)

if you can't summon your own tentacles, store-bought is fine (DCU | JayRoy)

the hands that worship you (Black Mirror: Bandersnatch | Colin/Stefan)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Always! It might take days weeks or months depending on what I have going on in my life but yeah :) unless it's a hate comment or bad faith criticisms. Oh and comments asking questions that I've already answered in the author's notes or in other comments or in the text itself (which yes, has happened before. I guess it was good for ""engagement "" but it's not stuff I want to explain again and again like a broken record. I'm not paid to do that - unlike at my day job.......)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

🤡 I've written my fair share of dark fics so it's definitely one of those ones. You can DM me if you wanna know but I am not telling on myself here

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Growing Pains, no contest, because it ends with trans acceptance 💚

But I also think happy endings at the end of a high stakes fic are even more rewarding? In which case it would have to be This Mirror Ain't Big Enough For the Two of Us

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have, once, on a genderbend fic. Some guy was outraged I made Jason a girl lol. But hate comments are few and far between for me because I'm not a bnf by any means

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

Yeah. I write a lot of pwps because they're easy. From there I either go into pwp with feelings territory, crack territory or, well, if it's a dark fic...........one of my longest nsfw fics is a Jason Todd/Scarecrow fic. You get the picture. (That one isn't without plot though.)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

Man. I actually once wrote a YouTube RPF x Death Note crossover. iykyk. But out of my surviving fics the only crossover that I still have posted online is a Death Note x DC fic.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've translated other people's fics, but I don't think I've had mine translated by others

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes but that's from before my ao3 days

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Rem x Misa (Death Note). I go through phases of shipping different pairings but Rem x Misa is the one that I can always come back to and write stuff for / look at art about.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My Teen Titans Dark Academia au. And on that note: I don't even know if I'll have the time to come back to writing long fics period. It's been 8 months since I last worked on my Jaime (Blue Beetle)/Eddie (Kid Devil)/Rose Wilson/Traci 13 road trip & interdimensional travel fic...........

16. What are your writing strengths?

My prose when I'm in the mood to write well. Poetry is my main medium these days so I'm very good at throwing in lots of one liners into my prose too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Trying to pace my story beats and juggle multiple subplots once my projects get into 10K+ / long fic territory.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

As long as the author actually knows what they're doing. The language has to be authentic and not Google Translate gibberish. And then for accessibility's sake they should include the translation either in-text or in the end notes.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

YouTube RPF 😑

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

It's a tie between:

And the encore lasts forever (DCU x Titans TV | trans!Jason/Rose)

Exit Strategy (DCU | Rose Wilson character study)

Tagging @kiseiakhun @thenaphorism @shhhenanigans @smagata @reaperlight @mihaelkeehl or any mutuals who post fics!

[juliedrawz]

Hi Cancíon de Vida! I hope you’re well. How’s your summer break so far? Hope you’ve enjoyed it. Thank you for all you’ve done on here 💜🧡🩷.

Hi dear,

Yes, I'm well and I'm very much enjoying my summer so far, thank you very much for asking 💖

By now I'm back from my first trip and my next is already close! The time has been so incredibly enriching and transforming for me. I learned a bit more about myself and God while in Israel. I met lots of dear friends there who I grew very fond of and saw and experienced so many incredible things that I will forever cherish 🌅 For me, the bible became more alive there. Now I'm soon heading to italy.

~

Furthermore, you are very welcome! I'm indescribably thankful and grateful that my art and what I do is so much loved. It's been my goal to share my passions with likeminded souls and being able to make others happy with something I love doing is a pleasure!

~

It's also very VERY relaxing to for once not feel the pressure to post anything really. Not to sit down and write and write or draw and draw, just to be productive. Even if I say I take my time with everything I do, it's easy to slip back into that routined mindset, that tells you that you have to do something. But all of you, here and on insta, have been nothing but sweet, supportive, understanding and patient and I can't thank you enough for that! It's a relief to find myself in a fandom/community who isn't just nontoxic but also accepting of my privacy and personal faith. You are awesome!

As for my art and the book. Did I mention I somewhat regretted posting my first and second drafts? I'm still grateful though you guys loved and devoured it like a piece of tart while me was sitting behind the screen cringing harder than life. Yikes

Yeah .... every more matured and expierenced author would have told me that this wasn't the bestest idea. Because and especially because ideas change, character developement happens, plotlines change, even the minor ones, you views and opinions also either change or deepen AND last but not least, the writing itself! You improve and you learn things along the way. And then I went, "Why the heck did I post that? It's raw, like uncooked meat!" The second thing is slightly fried here and there but still raw inside. I'm still constantly seasoning the story-steak, slide it left and right and flip it once in a while. And all you got so far is a little sniff and a little taste test. It's not a finished meal just yet and it won't be for a good while. That doesn't mean you won't be able to read it though. Just keep in mind, that whatever does come isn't the solid finished vers.

~

Anyway! I've been leaving the other chapters behind and pondered mostly about Ernesto and his storyline in my book. Honestly, sometimes I'm still surprised how much I ended up loving this character and how much fun it brings me to continue his story, shed light and develope his background and also continue establishing him where the original authors stopped. Now I start to understand why books and movies sometimes/oftentimes take several years!

Also, some of you have been asking me about Héctor's and Imeldas parents. Yes, you'll be introduced to them before you'll read about them. I guess that will make understanding them much easier and you'll also have faces.

-

As to Arlo and Estella, you'll be able to read a whole part of their past and at the same time learn everything about Héctor's early childhood. This gif portraits them just perfect! Also the resemblance! Excuse me?

Carlo and Maria Rivera will be more present in chapter 10? I believe? And you'll also read about them in the land of the dead soon. There, you'll find the explanation to Carlo's behavior if the upcoming character sheet won't already do that.

~

I again thank you for your patience! And while we're at it, I'll remember you once more, that you are free to message me here or on instagram, to ask questions about my book while you wait. I'll try to continue to answer as many as I can without completely spoiling the most important plots and infos.

-

That being said, I wish you all a wonderful summer wherever you are ❤️ Stay safe, stay healthy and God bless you all! ✈️

[aleatoryone]

In the graveyard

The sun begins to set down behind the dark clouds that poured rain all day. The streetlamps begin to light up, and another night begins on the small city. I looked past the graveyard. Normally, it is a silent place in which people can pay respects to their loved ones. For a moment, I thought today wouldn't be different, especially in a small city like this, when a notice a small purple thing beneath the graves. It looked like some kind of silk. 

I get closer, in an impulse of bravery, and begin to hear sobs and tears falling. The purple silk turned out to be a girl’s hair. It's Abigail. Daughter of the local grocer, known for her adventurer wannabe lifestyle. I consider her a friend of mine at this point. We've done a lot of things together. 

I have never seen her crying, though. 

I enter the graveyard. It seems that she noticed my presence and tried to recompose herself. Her clothes are soaked due to the rain that felt down all day, her normally pale face is completely red, and she didn't seem to care the smallest about all of that. At least, until now. 

“Abi?” I spoke, trying to get a sense of what happened to her. 

“Oh, hi.” She said shyly. “Not trying to be rude, but why are you here?” 

“I saw you crying. I thought you may need some help.” 

“Everything’s alright.” 

“Sorry to bother, but you don't seem alright.” 

“I'll be. You don't need to worry about me.” 

I notice some tears rolling. She seems so weak. I wipe her tears away and hug her, reassuring things would be okay.  

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk...” She sobbed. “Is that I know it’s not a big deal.” 

“If it weren’t, you wouldn’t be crying.” 

“Seriously, I'll be alright, you shouldn’t be bothered.” She muttered. “It’s just... eh... ah... I can’t.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“Like, I know I shouldn’t be crying. Everyone around here has their reasons to cry. Sebastian and his father, Shane and his depression and alcoholism, Jodi and her husband, and here I am, crying because things don’t go my way, like the spoiled child I am.” Abi confessed, between the tears that were escaping her eyes. “And that’s what makes everything worse.” 

“You’re not a spoiled child.” 

“I am. That’s how you perceive me, all of you.” She breathed deeply. “And I do notice the faces you guys make when I say or do something.” 

“Girl...” 

“I heard Haley saying that once near the library, with everyone agreeing. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t say anything to anyone.” She bemoaned. 

“Not even to Sam and Seb?” 

“I don’t know... I was never that close to Sam to begin with... I’d hang out with him because Sebastian does. But Seb has been acting weird lately... it seems his jealous of you and me. He’s barely talking to me now.” 

“Is that why you were sad in the first place? Come here.” I whispered just before hugging her once again. 

“It can be one of the reasons. I don’t know… I don’t even know how to tell you what I feel... sorry. Guess I kept everything hidden for so long that I can’t control anything anymore.” 

“It’s okay. You just shouldn’t be bottling your emotions--” 

“I KNOW! But who will I ever talk to? No one cares!” 

“I care.” 

“…you do?” She says looking directly at my eyes. Her face shows a mixture of thankfulness and surprise. 

“I suppose we’re good friends since the day we’ve been at this graveyard practicing.” 

“Thank you. For real. I was afraid you didn’t consider me a friend of yours."

================================================

I always thought Abi would be that kind of person that suffers a lot in silence. Like, damn, she comes from a disfunctional family, have her feelings and wishes invalidated etc. I've never seen any piece of art that reinforces that.

So I decided to make one myself, and I'm finally brave enough to post it for the world to see.

[nethercomfies]

A personal note

This is mostly a bit about why I've been gone so long and sort of "future plans" I have for this blog, so... If that doesn't interest you, feel free to skip this post.

On where I've been:

Initially, I took a break from Tumblr due to some larger drama going on behind the scenes that I inevitably got tangled up in... I don't really want to go in too much detail as it's all in the past now and I generally don't want to bring up any drama on this blog, just as a small explanation I guess?

Anyway, then life just happened... Went on a vacation, moved to a different town, college starting back up again, and a bunch of other stressful things, along with a loss of someone incredibly important to me... Overall, I didn't really have the time or energy to write, or deal with running a blog for that matter, so Tumblr had to be put aside for a while as I tried to sort my life again.

Honestly, I don't even know if half the people I used to interact with on here are still around (Except for Lost... Hi, Lost! :) 💛... Also Hori and Addy who've already popped up in my notifications 👀), but it might be nice to interact with people again as well, as I haven't been able to talk to a whole lot of people lately either...

On future plans:

I'm in my final year of college, preparing for finals in July and some other exams spread out along the way, as well as having a lot of homework and stuff to study for. In short, I don't have a WHOLE lot of time for the forseeable.

But I'd still like to get back into writing, since it's been a nice escape amd some of you guys have always been so sweet and kind to me, so I hope that in my free time I'll manage to put something out every once in a while.

It might be mostly shorter scenarios, headcanons, etc., but I'll try my best.

I've actually been sort of working on something bigger in the background, which is still in the planning stages, but will probably take up a large part of my writing, but in the meantime I'll try to squeeze something smaller in every once in a while.

I've also been trying to create more art again, so if I get to the level where I'm comfortable enough to share that again, I might throw in a few drawings every once in a while too.

Aside from that, I don't know yet how active I'll be on here... I remember getting really overwhelmed at times, so it's fully possible that I'll just pop in here to post and then flee to my private blog again, but idk about that yet.

Just... If I'm slow to respond to asks, dms, etc., that's why. I'll try my best to keep up, but it'll depend on how much energy I have for all of that. I'm not trying to ignore anyone, just doing my best to not run out of energy :)

That's mostly all I've wanted to talk about, thanks for reading this. Have a good night, everyone!