#I'll keep us friendly but not so cozy

[gatsby-holmes]

Huh

[ozzgin]

Yandere! Yakuza x Reader (II)

Reader is cozying up to her unusual home, and her new friend decides to surprise her with a romantic gift. Or at least what he considers to be romantic: a small reminder that no one else can mess with her. Continuation to the yakuza landlord idea!

Content: female reader, obsessive behavior, mentions of stalking, violence, death, mild gore

[Part 1] | [Part 3] | [Yakuza Masterlist]

You search for your keys and open the postal box, retrieving a thick envelope. You've been living at the new apartment for several weeks now and truth be told, you could get used to this lifestyle. Your commute to work is much shorter, the path is never devoid of people, and there are multiple bakeries on the way back with some of the best pastries you've tasted in your life.

You turn around and look for Daitou, somewhat distracted and dreamy. It really feels like a Hallmark movie. A peaceful, idyllic life. Ah, there he is! The scarred man is standing guard before one of the stores. The curtains have been pulled, blocking any glimpse of the inside. You walk towards him with a certain joyful bounce in your step. As you approach him, you can hear muffled screams coming from the building. He notices you and flashes you a smile. 

"Don't come too close, I hear the owner's been avoiding his loan payment and getting all friendly with the neighboring Family. We're questioning him in the back."

"Don't you usually do the interrogations?" 

"Only if we don't need them afterwards. I'm not too good at keeping them alive, ya know?" He scratches the back of his head and laughs awkwardly. "Do you need anything?"

You open your mouth to speak, but it's a little difficult to formulate a full sentence with the interrupted moans and cries occasionally making their way out. The door is ajar and you avoid glancing in its direction, fixating on the man before you. 

"I...uh... just wanted to know if this letter is intended for me or the landlord. It looks like an official document."

You show Daitou the envelope and just as he is about to grab it, he notices the blood stains seeped into his glove. He quickly removes it, wipes his hand on his shirt, and nonchalantly plucks the paper from your fingers.

"That's for Boss. I'll pass it on, so don't worry."

You nod and bow slightly before hurrying back home. Well, doesn't make it less of a movie, you suppose. Just more of a thriller. Or something like that. You drop your bag, slip off your shoes and throw yourself onto the futon with a loud thud. The warmth of the sheets envelops you and the wails of the shop owner become but a distant dream. 

Without the worry of stalkers, or finding a roof above your head, you can finally rest. 

Tonight is rather dark, with the moon shrouded in heavy clouds. Daitou yawns silently as he observes the masked man testing out passcodes for the entrance. Every now and then he lets out a whispered curse, crossing out another number combination on his little crumpled note. It doesn't take a genius to figure out this is the famed stalker you'd complained about earlier. No one else currently lives in the building. 

Eventually, the keypad lights up and the door unlocks. The mysterious man lifts a fist victoriously and reaches for the handle. 

"Oop! Not so fast!" Daitou drops his heavy, sinewy arm over the man's shoulders, pulling him in a friendly embrace. Like two old pals meeting at an intersection. "Let's take a walk together, what do you say? (Y/N) sleeps until noon on weekends, no need to hurry."

With a grunt, the stalker tries to shove himself out of the tightening hold, but the yakuza doesn't budge. He towers over his new friend with an unfaltering, unbothered grin. 

"Now listen, I don't blame you one bit, ya know? I ain't blind, at least not in this eye", he continues as he points to the real counterpart of his glass prosthetic, "so I'm damn well aware of a pretty girl when I see one. And (Y/N)? That's some good taste alright." 

He gives the man an affectionate pat over the chest, pulling him away from the building into one of the side streets. 

"If you want, we can have a drink before the deed, I know a good place five minutes from here. We can share some stories of our favorite girl, eh?" Daitou looks at his watch, feigning mild concern. "But I'm afraid you're not leaving this neighborhood either way. In one piece, that is." 

His arm goes limp and the masked man is released from the iron hold, tripping over from the sudden lack of support. He crawls against a wall and fumbles for something, swiftly pulling out what seems to be a pocket knife. His breathing is erratic and he points the tip of the blade towards the yakuza, now with his features darkened by a frown. He sounds like an entirely different person and the instant switch to a ragged voice startles the stranger.

"See, the trouble is, I promised miss (Y/N) I wouldn't allow a fucking dog like you to be in her presence ever again. Sadly for you, I'm a man of my word." Despite the threatening tone, his posture is relaxed and he stands before the stalker with his hands bare. 

"If I were you, I'd use that little butter knife on my own throat. I don't go easy on horny cockroaches. Especially the ones that mess with my woman." His final words spill out in a bitter growl. 

A small animal in the trashing jaws of a predator. Blood splatters and pools in the asphalt cracks and drained hands claw at the walls, hoping for an escape. As despair sinks in, the alleyway becomes quiet again, save for the merry whistle of the remaining party. Daitou carefully ties the trash bags with the focus of a child wanting to impress the parents with a chore well done. Halfway through he stops and gasps, surprised.

"Oh man, did I really just say 'my woman'? How embarrassing." He blushes and shyly pushes the wrapped slabs away. "I haven't even asked her out yet, ya know? Better not rat me out, Mr. Stalker." He snickers at his monologue and continues the cleanup. 

"Can you really not refrain yourself from smoking in here?" You try to fan away the puff of smoke, scowling at the young blonde man sitting across the table. 

"Why do you even care so much?" Kazuya groans and stuffs the remains of the cigarette in the ashtray.

"I don't want my carrot cake tasting like tobacco. You're lucky the old man is afraid of you, otherwise you would've gotten your ass banned a long time ago."

"You know, I've been thinking about it lately - haven't you gotten quite the attitude? You have a big mouth for someone surrounded by dangerous gangsters. I could blow your brains out right now." 

He lowers himself in his seat and briefly lifts his shirt, flashing a carelessly tucked in gun. He stares at you for a few seconds, as if expecting a reaction, then lets out a chuckle upon seeing your indifferent expression. 

"Shameless. You could at least try to pretend you don't know I have a soft spot for you."

"Just a wild guess, but your Boss probably wouldn't appreciate you shooting civilians in the middle of a café. That's all." You respond with a shrug. 

Your banter is interrupted by Daitou's heavy footsteps nearing in your direction. Kazuya waves, signaling your location, and kicks a chair out, inviting his friend to join. 

"Where the hell were you last night? I thought you'd come with us for drinks after that long ass questioning."

"Sorry, I had to take care of something." Daitou returns an apologetic smile and tilts his head to gaze at you. "Which reminds me, I brought you this."

Your eyes widen in surprise and a faint red tints your cheeks. Was there some special occasion you didn't know about? He places a small box in your hands and leans back in his chair with a cheerful smirk on his face. Kazuya watches the interaction, equally curious as you. 

You open the mysterious gift, giddy with anticipation. The nauseating smell abruptly invades your nostrils and you can feel the contents of your stomach bubble up and pile at the back of your throat. You gag involuntarily and slap your hands over your mouth, as the box tumbles down. A single severed human finger and some teeth glistening with moisture roll out. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Kazuya jumps from his seat, toppling over the table in the process, and lunges at Daitou's throat. The latter can only stare in shock, baffled at a reaction he didn't foresee. There's genuine confusion shaping his features.

"But-...I thought..."

"What the hell did you think, that you'd show up with fucking human remains over some tea and cake?! Jesus, Daitou, she ain't our Lieutenant!"

"But I did- I did tell (Y/N) I'd..." he tries to find you with a pleading, worried look. 

Once the risk of vomiting on the floor has diminished, you shove yourself between the men and gently try to remove Kazuya's arm, still clawed around the other man's throat.

"Let him go, Kazuya. He didn't mean to scare me." You glance at Daitou reassuringly. "Does that mean the stalker guy is now a solved matter?"

The yakuza nods energetically, his eyes now sparkling with pride. He knew you'd understand. Once the tension is lifted, you quickly sweep the gory tokens back into their box and explain the situation to Kazuya. He collapses back in his seat with a frustrated sigh, facepalming himself. 

"I'm so sorry, (Y/N), I should've told you he's being serious when he says shit like this." He glares at his friend. "She didn't actually expect you to go ahead and do it, dumbass. Couldn't you just mention it or something? 'Hey, I took care of that pervert following you around'! You think she would've demanded proof?"

Daitou is nervously fidgeting with his glass eye, as if searching for the proper words.

"But you always say women will like you more if you surprise them with gifts." He concludes with a pout.

There's a prolonged moment of silence and you burst our laughing, as the blonde simultaneously lets out an exasperated whine. You cannot get over the bizarre sight in front of you: someone as massive and imposing as Daitou, cornered like a punished school boy. 

"See, this is what I've been telling Boss. You're a lost cause." Kazuya rests his elbows on his knees, closing the distance between him and Daitou and continuing with a lecturing tone. "If you got a crush on someone, you bring them flowers or something! What are you, a crackhead? Do I have to teach you basic manners?"

"More importantly, uh...what should I do with these? I guess jewelry made of teeth is a thing, but the finger? Won't it go bad?" you cautiously dangle the package next to your ears, listening to the rustle of its contents. 

Kazuya rips the box from you.

"I'm starting to suspect you don't have all the tiles on your roof either. I'll get rid of it, so you better pretend nothing ever happened. Are we clear?"

Both you and Daitou nod obediently.

On your way back, the man can't help the excitement building up in his chest. You liked his gift, didn't you? He hasn't done anything wrong. Does that make it official, then? As he ponders the implications, he peeks at your small frame, barely managing to keep up with him. Would it be alright if he reached for your hand? Is he supposed to ask first? All these steps confuse him to no end.

Nonetheless, he couldn't be more thankful for you. 

[harunayuuka2060]

Ace: Hey, where's MC? Are they not with you, Grim?

Grim: They're going to be late.

Grim: They're busy taking care of the newcomers.

Ace: Yikes.

Deuce: I'm surprised the headmage allowed them to stay in Ramshackle dorm.

Epel: Crowley is a Yes-man whenever money is involved.

Ace: Lol. Anyway, shouldn't we send them a message to hurry up?

Deuce: Yeah. I'll do it-

MC: *enters the room with a multi-seat stroller*

The six baby dragons: *all behaving in their respective seats*

Ace, Deuce, Epel, and Grim: ...

Ace: Bruh-

The baby dragon: *looking at his siblings*

His siblings: Krrr!

The baby dragon: KRRR! *bares his teeth*

MC: ...

His siblings: *give him goofy expressions in return*

MC: ...

The baby dragon: Krrr!

MC: *chuckles*

MC: *fell asleep in a sitting position*

The baby dragon: *uses his head so they can lean on*

The others: *keeping them warm and cozy*

Jamil, Kalim, and Azul: ...

Kalim: Is it just me or the little ones are purring?

The six baby dragons: *are indeed purring*

Azul: Fascinating. So these dragons exhibit characteristics reminiscent of cats.

The baby dragon: Krrr...

Jamil: Azul, you're being noisy.

Azul: Huh?

Kalim: Aww~ You don't want us to wake your Mama?

The baby dragon: ...

The baby dragon: Krr.

Jamil: You're still not friendly, huh?

[hummingbird-games]

2024 in Review (Indie Games)

2023 | 2022 | 2021

Helloooo gamer friends!!!

I'm so tired.

Lol.

Anyhoo, y'all don't care about that!!! Y'all are here to see what games I played and what the heck I have to say about them! Reminders: I don't bash games I didn't like, and I try to post more in-depth thoughts and reviews and general yapping to Gem's Game Gems.

DEMOS

When Stars Collide - I am by no means a sci-fi girlie. I need a HEAPING dose of fantasy or fantasy elements to help me out. That said, y'all might remember how I went feral for Gilded Shadows, so I am locked in for this journey with WSC. It's just as mysterious and lore intense as GS, but also just as intriguing and engaging!

Love Me, Love Me Not - I looooove when a game charms me to pieces??? Our MC Addie, the introduced LIs, the story, the art??? Where do I begin?? Anyway, please check this one out y'all! I'm impatient for the full game (shocker, I know).

Threads of You: Beyond the Bay - So my thoughts and reactions for this one are on the side blog, but I really enjoyed the demo and I have eyes for Chris, Vince, and Alex hehehe.

Lost in Limbo - While I'd been keeping tabs on this game for what seems forever because of the character art that originally caught my attention, I almost didn't finish the demo because it was lowkey disturbing (I'm a wimp and not all horror is made equal). But!!! BUT!!!! I push through to the end, had a good time, noted that I need to play the full game in the daylight with the music turned down low. And I absolutely adore Ara and Xal so, so much.

A Simple Twist of Fae - Absolutely no one cares, but I read a lot of manga this year. Like, a lot-a lot. Like, ~180 books and 1/3 of that was manga. Anyhoo, When JMB announced she was cooking up this game, I was impatient to get my grubby hands on it. AND THEN I PLAYED IT AND IT WAS THE SHOJO INSPIRED GAME OF MY DREAMS?!?! Like.....I wish I could both have it on my computer and also on my bookshelf. Final build dropping when??? (Also the UI design is utterly delightful, I cry.)

The Summit Library (FULL DEMO) - The last time I reviewed this game, we got chapter 1 as a taste, and I was. Locked! In!! The full demo gives us the first 2 chapters as well as the previews for all the romance routes and while giving everyone a whirl I'm *still* undecided on who to go for in the future, I must mention this: TSL is so aspec friendly???? I do love a game with smut, don't get me wrong looks at College Craze but sometimes I have my moments of being overwhelmed/sliiiiiiightly repulsed and the variety of options you have to choose how you react and interact with the various LIs in this game is amazing. (I have more thoughts on this, so I'll try to remember to post to the sideblog, but please understand that this game is totally worth your attention and time imo!!!)

Fully Released & Played (at least 1 playthrough)

Rabbit Trail - This. Game. Is. SO. Cute. *punches the air* 😭🥹(Copy + paste of my review on the itch.io page -> This was so charming, so fluffy, so cozy, just delightful all around??? I've only reached one ending so far, but René is just the cutest protag to play as, and his interactions as he delivers his mail made me cheese so dang hard! (Also, I wanted to fight his parents for not properly appreciating their kid LOL))

Stuck by Design - I checked this game out because I was looking into games that fellow programmers had worked on, and this cozy game stumbled onto my lap. The music was perfect, the UI is beautiful and clean, and I thoroughly enjoyed the performance of the VA for the LI, Yuki.

Wake Me Up If You Need Me - I called this game older!HSDJY MC x Ryan coded and I'm still right. The voice actor MAKES this game, and the interactions the player has with Reed is so flippin' delightful?? All my love and adoration to the game developer. May they make more beautiful games.

CTRL FREAK - The developer team brought us The Faithfulness of the Universe which is a banger in its own right, and CTRL FREAK is the team's commercial, finished project that I also found delightful. The soundtrack and the animations are chef's kiss 💛

Breathless Winds - Ooo, baby, ooo. So. If there is only one game you play from this list and you have some spare cash to spend (at the time of writing, the game is on sale!!!) please, please, check this one out. It left me absolutely spellbound, both the orginal demo, and then the full game. While I didn't get to blog fully about this one, and I only tackled 2 of the 4 routes, this game is absolutely everything. This is my indie game of the year. Poppy and her journey resonated with me, and between the music and the art, everything just came together so perfectly.

Wake Up Magical Girl - Listen TF up, if miseri creates it, I'm gonna play it, idc, idc. That being said...this game had a kick to it that when I finished my first playthrough, I had to stare off into space and gather myself. It takes the concept of magical girls and heroism and gave me a teeny tiny existential crisis, but other than that, I'm fine, it's fine, play this game, thank you.

Sleeping Under Spells - God, I love me a game where I get to argue with a LI. I love it. Bonus points if it's lowkey stupid stuff we're bickering over LOL!!

Our Wonderland - Yeah, uh huh, you thought you'd escape me talking about this game this year, didn't yah???? Too bad. The fifth and final arc dropped this year and I played it and I cried and felt for the briefest moments that life was okay. To say something different than my review of last year, I love that this seems to be the game that helps fellow ace devs find and flock to each other, I'm not kidding 🤣 so thank you Carrot for helping us fellow aspec peeps feel seen and validated and understood!

I Watched a Full Game Playthrough and Highly Recommend

Replay Boys - Okay so technically at the time of posting, there's still one more video I'm waiting to watch (Naja of BlerdyOtome uploaded her stream to YouTube) but my Godddddd. I've had my eye on this game for FOREVER but I was lowkey waiting for it to move to itch.io (I'm still a lowkey Steam hater 🥹) anyhoo, watching this absolutely wild game made me go ahead and buy a copy for myself to replay at a later time, but it's just great. The summary only scratches this surface of what the game entails 🤣

Gemi’s Gushies

(a list within a list of games that have devs trucking along in the background and I want to spotlight for y’all)

Save the Villainess - Life got away with me and unfortunately I never finished my play of the demo BUT what I have played was fun and I hope to return to this in the new year!

Woman of Xal 2 - Plot Twist Studios is on that Sequel Train with the next installment of WoX!!! Which I'm VERY excited for!!! I've unfortunately only completed one playthrough of this game, but the first game is definitely a masterclass in replayability, and I hope next year I'll be able to do a second playthough as I wait for game 2's Kickstarter!

...

And that's 2024! Any shared favorites?

- Gemini 🫶🏾

[brittscafe]

I don't know if you did this but, can i request "one bed trope" with Grimmjow? i love that man so bad, i need my daily dose of him 💀

Ugh, of course! <3

You wish you weren't stuck in this situation with Grimmjow, but the events leading you here were unfortunate to say the least.

You walk behind Grimmjow in the world of the living when suddenly the thunder booms loudly. You flinch from the sudden loudness and lift up your head, gazing up into the dark sky.

The clouds seem to scatter around, gathering around and taking over the sky.

"Damn it," Grimmjow curses underneath his breath as the rain droplets start to pour down from the sky.

"What? It's just a little rain," you suggest, shrugging your shoulders.

Suddenly, the rain starts to break down from the sky. Within seconds Grimmjow and you are soaked, clothes stuck to your wet bodies.

The rain seems to sting Grimmjow's body and he seethes at the feeling of it.

Grimmjow's hand slaps down onto your wrist and he starts to drag you behind him. Although, your feet can't seem to keep up with him and you start to stumble and tumble over.

"Damn girl, come on!" Grimmjow hisses out, glaring back at you over his shoulder. He grits his teeth and clenches his jaw, harshly. Grimmjow may have been glaring at you and looked like he wanted to kill you, but his heart spoke differently.

He saw the way your eyes were filled with fear and even tears. So, he loosens his grip on your wrist and clears his throat.

"I think there's an inn nearby!" you speak up as the wind howls loudly and picks up the speed. Grimmjow and you rush through the woods and burst into an inn.

It's dimly lit, the only light are candles all around the walls. You and Grimmjow pant heavily, water dripping from your clothes and onto the old wooden floor.

The inn is warm and friendly. An older lady sits at a desk, wearing a faint smile and her grey hair pulled back into a slick bun.

"Damn, curse that rain!" Grimmjow curses out, his wet hair sticking to his forehead.

"Grimmjow," you nudge his shoulder and point over to the woman.

"Are you two looking for a room?" the elderly woman speaks up and your eyes light up with interest.

"Um, yes please," you bow your head down.

"Luckily for you, I have one last room available. Here's the key and if you need anything, I'll be down here," she speaks softly with a soothing voice, handing you a golden key.

You take the key from her hand and shoot her a smile.

"Thank you," you whisper out, walking down the dark hallway and Grimmjow follows behind you.

You place the key inside the lock and turn it. The lock clicks open with a quiet sound and you push the door open. Your mouth gapes open and Grimmjow's breath hitches in his throat.

One large bed sits in the middle of the cozy room and you gulp.

"Only one bed? Great," he scoffs out with annoyance, shoving his way past you and into the room. You roll your eyes with annoyance and step inside, closing the door behind you.

You sit underneath the white covers as the shower runs in the background. The shower soon shuts off and your heart lodges in your throat.

The door swings open and Grimmjow walks out, only wearing a pair of sweats. The fresh water makes his abs glisten and his wet hair hangs over his eyes. Your face becomes red hot and your stomach twists into uneasy knots.

"Grimmjow! You couldn't have put on a shirt?" you scoff out, gazing the other way.

Grimmjow lets out a tiny chuckle and you glance back over at him. Your mouth waters at the sight of him and he bites on his bottom lip.

"Oh, come on. Don't tell you you've never seen a man without his shirt on?" he questions you, a smirk growing along his pale face.

"You should sleep," you suggest, changing the subject and Grimmjow lets out a tiny scoff.

"I'm not human. Therefore, I don't require sleep," Grimmjow retorts harshly and you knit your eyebrows together.

"Grimmjow, there's enough room in this bed for the both of us," you scoff out.

"I don't want to sleep with you," Grimmjow seethes out and you giggle quietly.

"I didn't mean it like that. We can have separate sides of the bed, come on," you pat the empty side of the bed next to you. Grimmjow's expression softens and he lets out a deep breath.

He climbs into the bed beside you and watches outside the window as the rain continues to pour down.

"I hate the rain," Grimmjow sighs out, lowering his head. He's vulnerable for a minute and you can see it.

"Maybe it's because you're half cat," you suggest and Grimmjow shoots you a harsh glare.

"Shut up! I am not," Grimmjow flicks your forehead and you scrunch up your face.

"Yeah, yeah, try to deny it all you want. I'm going to bed," you sigh out, blowing out the candle on your nightstand and snuggle up into the covers.

Grimmjow's left with his jaw dropped open as you quickly fall asleep.

You're in your most vulnerable position right now. Eyes closed, lips slightly parted as soft breaths leave your throat. Grimmjow's eyes rake over your eyelashes, not fluttering at him for once.

A piece of your hair dangles down in front of your face and Grimmjow's breath hitches in his throat as he reaches out. He gently moves the piece of hair out of your face and tucks it behind your ear.

You seem to inch closer and closer to Grimmjow in your sleep. The candlelight on his side of the bed, glows onto your face. Grimmjow's heart rams against his chest, wanting to rip out.

He slowly lifts up his hand and reaches out towards your face. He traces your cheek, the softness of your skin, creating goosebumps along his skin.

Grimmjow's eyes widen and his breath hitches in his throat.

Why? Why does he feel this way about you? It doesn't make any sense to him.

The covers ruffle as you move in your sleep and Grimmjow quickly pulls away from you. Your arms wrap around his waist, pulling him closer to you.

A startled gasp leaves his lips and he gazes down at you, eyes widen and confused. You were so warm against his body, you fit perfectly against him.

You move your thigh over his hips and Grimmjow's heart skips a beat.

You were so vulnerable right now, he could do anything. Grimmjow could kill you if he wanted to, but he doesn't want to. He feels a deep instinct to keep you safe.

Grimmjow slowly wraps his arms around you, your head resting on his chest. His eyes rake over you and your innocent, sleeping face. He leans his head down and places a soft kiss on your forehead.

He rests his head against the pillow and closes his eyes, a warm smile growing on his face.

Grimmjow was so glad that you were asleep...or at least that's what he thought.

[libraryofgage]

Addams Family Steddie Seven

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | ao3 (this part hasn't been added to ao3, yet, but I'll do it when I get the energy for tags lol)

Anyway, I'm back with another Addams Family for y'all fhdjsk

We now get Steddie children! I added little picrews of them at the very end, too! I just think they're little guys (affectionate) ^_^

Anyway, he's a big boi this time too, so you definitely don't see any typos no matter what you think

Dustin

"It's haunted?!"

Steve grins a little as he lets Dart dash into the house before shutting the door behind them. Dart only pauses by Dustin long enough to get a pat on the head before rushing off to explore. "Yep," Steve says, messing up Dustin's hair and meeting Eddie's gaze as a door bangs in the distance.

"Are you sure that's safe? What if it goes, like, full poltergeist on us?" Dustin asks, looking up at them suspiciously.

"I wish he'd go full poltergeist. I couldn't summon one for the life of me," Eddie says, sighing and shaking his head. "There's nothing like blood dripping down the walls to make a place feel like home."

"Okay, this?" Dustin says, gesturing to Eddie with raised eyebrows as he looks at Steve. "This is not making me feel better about the ghost."

Steve snorts and shakes his head, removing his hand from Dustin's hair. "Don't listen to Eddie. Blood is too hard to get off the walls and would mess up the paint. Anyway, Casper lives in the tower, and he likes D&D, so you can include him in sessions and stuff."

Dustin's face does this weird twisting thing as he tries to process the fact a ghost lives in their house and that it likes D&D enough for that to be a significant feature of its personality. He looks up at Steve, squinting slightly. "Like the friendly ghost?" he asks.

"He thinks it's ironic," Steve and Eddie say, perfectly in sync, and Dustin's disgusted expression nearly makes Steve dissolve into laughter.

"You're disgusting," Dustin tells them, rolling his eyes as he picks up one of his suitcases. "Just show me to my room before you start making out."

Steve snorts and leads Dustin upstairs, pointing out the living room, kitchen, D&D room, and guest rooms along the way. He has to grab Dustin's arm to keep him from veering straight into the D&D room, shooting him a look as they head up the stairs. "You can check it out later," he promises.

"I'll give you the grand tour," Eddie says, trailing behind them with a box of Dustin's computer stuff in his arms. "But first, check out the room. Stevie's been dying to know what it looks like."

"I haven't been dying," Steve says, looking over his shoulder to wink at Eddie as he continues, "You'd know when I'm dying, babe."

"C'mon!" Dustin shouts, ducking away from Steve and running up the last few steps. "Stop making everything a weird flirting thing."

"We're in love, Dustin," Eddie tells him, coming to a stop at the top of the stairs next to Steve. "It's only gonna get worse from here."

"I'm moving out. Don't even bother putting the stuff in my room. I'll go live with Mike, instead."

"At least see the room before you do," Steve says, gesturing to the door with Dustin's name on it.

Dustin rolls his eyes and marches over to the door. He throws it open, clearly expecting to see nothing of interest, only to freeze in the doorway, his eyes widening. "Woah," he whispers.

"I knew he'd love it," Eddie says, pulling Steve over so he can see the room is well.

It's at least twice the size of Dustin's old room. There's a loft bed with a desk and lamp under it against the wall to the right of the door. The opposite wall is covered in tools and random parts and wires, all placed carefully on hooks or shelves with a large table underneath. A pair of safety goggles is hung on a nail right above the table, with a little sign next to them that reads in all caps "WEAR THESE!"

Steve almost makes out with Eddie in the doorway of the room for that alone.

The wall with the window has been turned into a cozy area with bookshelves and posters of fantasy maps and cryptid anatomy. A telescope is set up next to the window, which has a clear view of the sky. In fact, it's one of the only windows that isn't blocked by trees from the cemetery. Two oversized chairs are set into a semicircle with beanbags, creating plenty of space for Dustin's friends to come sit and hang out.

"So, you like it?" Eddie asks, setting the computer box on the desk under the bed.

Dustin nods as he drops his bag, rushing over to the work table so he can inspect the tools hanging over it. "This is fucking awesome! Everything I need to make a lich animatronic is here!" he shouts, his excitement so great that he completely misses the equally excited flicker of the lights in the room.

"Language," Steve scolds, more on reflex than anything else.

"Yeah, yeah," Dustin says, waving his hand dismissively as he reaches out and pulls one of the wire bundles down from the wall. "I take back everything I said, by the way, be as gross as you want. I don't even care anymore."

Before Steve can tease Dustin, he's grabbed around the waist by Eddie. "With pleasure," Eddie purrs, dipping Steve and kissing him breathless just inside Dustin's room.

Steve can't help laughing into the kiss, inadvertently letting Eddie's tongue slip past his lips. And then he doesn't really care about laughing, too consumed by Eddie and his hands and his tongue and his teeth and Eddie.

He does, however, start laughing so hard that Eddie almost drops him when Dustin turns around and screeches like a banshee.

Belladonna

Eddie brings their first child home on a wonderfully dreadful day. The sky is unleashing a torrential downpour on the world, lightning cracks and thunder rolls through the clouds, and wind howls across the street. Perfect weather for a Saturday, really.

Steve was ready to spend the first half of the day in the kitchen, trying out recipes Wayne and Grandmama had given him while Dustin sat at the island to finish his homework. In the second half of the day, he'd sit at the piano outside his and Eddie's room and play while Dustin watched TV or worked on the lich animatronic in his room or fine-tuned a new character in the D&D room.

Eddie would be gone for most of the day, trying his level best to get struck by lightning. He's yet to succeed, but that just means Steve gets to cheer him up when he gets home. And the new song he's working on will do just that, especially when he tells Eddie it's composed from the lyrics Eddie wrote in that journal he gave Steve before they started dating.

Yeah, that will definitely cheer Eddie up, and Steve should probably tell Dustin to just order Chinese for dinner because he doubts they'll be leaving the bedroom after that.

The thought makes Steve grin as he pulls out an apple and nightshade pie from the oven, the cloying scent spreading through the room and making Dustin crinkle his nose. He hasn't quite worked up to nightshade, but he's almost there.

"I finished," Dustin says, pushing his homework away and dropping his pencil.

Steve sets the pie on a cooling rack and shuts off the oven. "And that was all your homework?" he asks, dropping his oven mitts and moving to Dustin's side of the island. He leans over Dustin's shoulder, pulling the homework back and skimming over the answers.

It's a sheet of chemical equations, and Steve very quickly realizes he's got no clue what he's looking at. He frowns slightly and hums. "How confident are you?" he asks.

Dustin chooses one of the equations and starts explaining his balancing process. He gets about halfway through before Steve puts a hand over his mouth to stop him. "Okay, okay, I get it. You're gonna make my brain hurt," he says, grimacing when Dustin licks his palm. He pulls his hand away, dragging it on Dustin's shirt to clean it.

"Can I go now?" Dustin asks, looking up at Steve.

Steve sighs and ruffles his hair. "Run along. I think Casper is in the D&D room," he says, his guess confirmed by the slam of a door down the hall. With a grin, Dustin slides out of the chair, shoves the homework into his backpack, and runs out of the kitchen.

Now that he's alone, Steve takes a deep breath and starts cleaning the kitchen. He rinses used mixing bowls and utensils before placing them in the dishwasher, unplugs the mixer, and wipes the counters clean of flour and sugar and nightshade extract.

He's just finished cutting the pie when lightning strikes a tree outside the kitchen window, thunder rolls loudly over the house, the lights surge and flicker, and the front door swings open to slam against the wall with a vigor only Eddie could produce. Steve blinks and looks out the window once more, confirming that it is, in fact, still raining, and leaves the knife in the pie to welcome Eddie.

If he's come home this early, he must have finally been struck by lightning, which means there's something to celebrate.

Steve grins excitedly and heads to the front door only to stop short when he enters the hallway. Eddie is soaked to the bone, which is expected, sporting a huge grin that reveals too-sharp canines with the ends of his hair burnt like he'd (finally) been struck by lightning. He looks like a drenched rat, and in his arms is an equally drenched child that he carefully sets on her feet.

She looks no more than ten and sticks close to Eddie, staring at Steve with silver-grey eyes. Her skin and hair are the same deep black as the calla lilies on the porch, and the hair she's pulled up into two puffs on either side of her head has a similar reddish tinge along the edges. Splashed across the bridge of her nose, cheeks, and forehead are freckles lighter than the girl's skin, standing out because of it.

Eddie smiles excitedly at Steve, practically vibrating where he stands but not moving since the girl is gripping the edge of his shirt. "Stevie! Sweetheart! I'm home!" he says, his gaze flicking between Steve and the girl and unabashedly begging Steve to ask about her.

Steve can't help chuckling. "Welcome home," he says, walking closer and grabbing the towel he'd placed on the coat rack after Eddie left that morning. He crouches in front of the girl and smiles warmly. "Hi, what's your name?" he asks.

She fidgets for a moment, glancing up at Eddie long enough to see his relaxed shoulders and infatuated smile before looking at Steve again and smiling at him. Her right canine is sharper than her left, and Steve feels his heart melt at that sight. "I don't know," she says, shrugging as she steps forward. "I don't like my name much, but I haven't thought of a new one, yet."

"I see," Steve says, unfolding the towel and wrapping it around her shoulders. "Well, my name is Steve, and you've already met Eddie here. Did you lose your parents?" he asks.

It's not that he doesn't know why Eddie brought a child home. Steve has made no secret of his desire for children, after all. He just has to make sure Eddie acquired the child...well, legality doesn't really matter, but he can't have stolen the child from people who truly care for her.

The girl rubs her cheek against the towel, looking delighted by something so soft, and says, "Oh, I haven't lost them. I know exactly where they are." Her grin widens a bit, and she points down at the floor. "I put them there myself."

Steve raises an eyebrow at her, getting a slightly amused smile. "Did you? How come?"

She sighs, shaking her head as though it's a shame. "They were meanies. I wanted new parents."

"And you met Eddie."

She nods, looking excited as she glances back at Eddie. "He had a big pole to catch the lightning!"

Eddie crouches next to her now, his eyes bright and eager as he says, "It was amazing, Stevie! The moment she walked up to me, I was finally struck!"

The girl nods in agreement, and Steve looks between the two of them as he considers. Her parents are gone (by her own hands, apparently, and Steve feels oddly proud already), and she got Eddie struck by lightning. "Do you have any other family?" he finally asks.

When the girl shakes her head, a few drops of water flying off the ends of her hair, Steve can't help grinning. Something settles in his chest, warm and happy, and Steve nods once. "There's a lawyer in the family," he says to Eddie, meeting his gaze.

"They're perfectly corrupt, too," Eddie agrees.

Steve nods and looks at the girl again. He scoops her up, standing straight and grinning when she squeals with delight. "Welcome home," he tells her, already figuring out the best way to introduce her to Dustin.

----

Exactly two weeks after Steve and Eddie gain a daughter and ask a favor from the Addams lawyer, she chooses her name.

It happens in the kitchen. She's sitting next to Dustin, both of them watching Steve and Eddie make pancakes for breakfast. Eddie is getting the pan ready while Steve is making two batters. One has chocolate chips and will be cooked the first. The other will have chocolate chips and nightshade berries fresh from Flora and Fauna's secret garden at their psychiatric hospital.

"What are those?" their daughter asks, pointing at the jar of nightshade berries.

Steve picks up the jar and shakes one out, placing it in her palm for closer inspection. "They're called nightshade. They're deadly," he says, smiling as he shakes the rest into a black mixing bowl.

"Do they taste good?" she asks.

"I wouldn't try it," Dustin says, leaning closer despite his wary look. "Unless you're like Eddie and Steve, I guess."

"Am I?" she asks.

"Well, you did just fine with the cyanide," Steve reasons, considering the berries for a moment. Finally, he nods once and gestures to the berry in her palm. "You can try it."

She lights up and pops the berry into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. After a few seconds, she swallows. "They're good," she decides, nodding once and looking unaffected by the berry.

Steve decides to give her a few minutes still, just to be sure.

"You know," Eddie says, looking over his shoulder and taking the finished chocolate chip batter from Steve, "they come from a plant with purple flowers."

"Oh!" Dustin says, sitting up straight, "We learned about them in class. They're called Atropa belladonna, or belladonna for short. They're native to, like, Asia and Europe."

"What class did you learn that in?" Steve asks, mixing chocolate chips into the batter alongside the nightshade in the second bowl.

"English. We read some story where a wife poisoned her husband using belladonna. Max said it was very girlboss of her," Dustin explains.

"So, it's a flower and a poison?" Steve and Eddie's daughter asks, studying the jar for a moment before grinning. "I like it!"

"Yeah?" Eddie asks, flipping a cooked pancake onto a large plate before pouring more batter into the pan. "Maybe we should get you a cutting."

She shakes her head. "I like the name," she explains.

Steve and Eddie both pause, sharing a look before turning their gazes to her with serious expressions. "Would you like your name to be Belladonna?" Steve asks.

After a few seconds of serious consideration, she nods once. "Yeah, I like it."

Eddie abandons the stove, dropping the spatula in favor of sliding around the island and lifting Belladonna from her chair. "It's perfect!" he tells her, hugging her close and spinning her in a circle. "Our little poison flower!"

Belladonna squeals in surprise, latching onto Eddie's neck as Steve flips the pancakes so they don't burn. "You know we gotta enroll her in school now, right?" he asks, looking over his shoulder just in time to see Eddie throw Belladonna in the air.

"Aww, man, she's too young to get her spirit crushed," Dustin says, leaning forward to watch as Steve slides a few more pancakes onto the plate.

"There's nothing wrong with a good spirit-crushing," Steve says, glancing up when the lights flicker and a cabinet door slams. "See, Casper agrees with me."

"They can't crush my spirit if I crush theirs first," Belladonna says, scrambling her way to sitting on Eddie's shoulders. She drapes herself over Eddie's head, arms hanging in front of his face, and brightly adds, "And by crush, I mean kill."

Eddie grins and grabs her hands, moving them so he can see Steve. "Our daughter is perfect," he tells him.

"She's just like y'all," Dustin says.

"Isn't it great?" Steve and Eddie ask, meeting each other's gaze and laughing when Dustin just rolls his eyes and mutters about them getting grosser by the day.

El

El stays with them on the weekends. She spends all of Saturday playing with Dustin and Belladonna, switching between the two as she pleases until they've all somehow congregated in the living room to watch true crime videos and judge the criminals. On Sunday, she helps Steve in the kitchen as he preps lunches and dinners for the week and then tends to the plants outside. Eddie sometimes joins them in the kitchen, but he usually ends up doing laundry most of the day.

On this particular weekend, Wayne drops El off with several suitcases next to her on the porch. Steve stares at them for a moment before looking up at Wayne. "Did something happen?" he asks.

"Well, I'm leaving on a world trip," Wayne says, placing a hand on El's shoulder as he continues, "and El would rather stay here than tag along."

"It is the middle of the school year," Steve points out, glancing down when Belladonna pokes her head out the door.

She sees El and lights up. "Oh, perfect! I've got a brand new guillotine from Cousin Wednesday. You got one, too, right? Let's race them!" she says, pushing onto the porch and grabbing El's hand.

El nods and looks up at Wayne. "I will be inside. Please help Steve bring my bags in," she says before grabbing one of her bags (presumably the one with the guillotine in it) and letting Belladonna drag her into the house.

Steve can't help smiling as they pass him, reaching out to ruffle each girl's hair. When they've gone inside, he looks at Wayne. "Where are you planning to go?" he asks.

"I'm gonna start domestic with Area 51," Wayne says, looking excited just to talk about it, "Then I'm gonna hit those Parisian catacombs, make my way to a haunted forest in China, and then circle back to spend a few weeks in the Bermuda Triangle."

"You'd better not pull a Fester on us," Steve jokes.

Wayne sighs, shaking his head regretfully. "Nobody could pull a Fester except him. How do you follow that up? I mean, the grief he put his brother through, it's impressive all right," he says.

Knowing the full story of Fester's disappearance and homecoming, Steve can't argue with Wayne. "Well, maybe you'll get lucky enough to be abducted," he says.

"One can only hope," Wayne says, returning Steve's grin. "Seriously, though, you don't mind watching El, do you? I'm sure Cousin Itt wouldn't mind if it's too much trouble."

Steve waves away his worries. "She's Eddie's sister, which makes her my sister, and she's friends with Belladonna and Dustin. Of course, she's welcome here. In fact, you're welcome, too, when you get back," Steve tells him.

Wayne laughs, pulling Steve into a spine-crushing hug. "I just might take you up on that," he says, patting Steve's back before pulling away. "Now, let's get El's stuff to her room."

----

El already has a designated guest room, and she helps Steve unpack her things in it. Her clothes are already in the closet and dresser, her books and knick-knacks are on the bookshelf, and she's currently setting out her skeleton collection on the windowsill while Steve hangs up her photos of cobwebs.

"Can I invite friends over?" El suddenly asks, looking at Steve as he carefully hammers a nail into the wall.

Steve blinks and looks over his shoulder. She's finished placing her collection and is now sitting on the bed, feet idly swinging over the edge. "Yeah, just try to let me or Eddie know when you do," he says, flashing her a reassuring smile before focusing back on the nail.

As though he's been summoned, Eddie bursts into the room and zeroes in on El. "It's about time!" he says, throwing himself onto the bed next to El. His weight makes her bounce, and she falls over Eddie's stomach, blinking a few times.

"You know," Steve says, putting down the hammer to hang the photo on the nail, "you could've invited her to stay here at any point."

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?" Eddie asks.

"Why was waiting more fun?" El asks him, pushing on his stomach to sit up again.

Eddie grins at her. "Cuz I made a bet with Dustin about how long it'd take, and I won," he explains.

Steve pauses and raises an eyebrow at him. "What did you bet?"

It must be something good because Eddie doesn't shy away from Steve's gaze. Instead, he lights up and jumps off the bed. "Well, Dust-Bunny lost, so he's agreed to babysit Belladonna next Friday," he says, wrapping his arms around Steve's waist and spinning them to the center of the room. "So, we can go out."

"Like, a date night?" Steve asks, a smile tugging on his lips.

"Whatever you wanna do," Eddie promises, pulling Steve into a dance to music only he can hear. Steve is only a little jealous of Eddie's auditory hallucinations.

"I can also watch Belladonna with Dustin," El offers, watching them from the bed. She has a tiny smile, looking completely relaxed and at home watching Eddie and Steve flirt. "If she dies, it will be in an entertaining way."

Steve snorts, pulling away from Eddie and dropping onto the bed next to El. Eddie follows, crouching in front of them and grinning up at her. "You don't need to babysit, too," Steve tells her, ruffling her hair. "But we'd appreciate it if you make sure Belladonna actually goes to bed on time."

El nods once. "I can knock her out if she stays up too long," she says.

"We have sedatives for that, so no blunt objects required," Eddie says, "They're in the kitchen."

"Can I have a bottle for my room?" El asks.

Steve and Eddie share a look, and Eddie shrugs. "Sure, I'll make some just for you," Steve promises. When El smiles a little wider at him, he pulls her into a hug. "Remember, this is your home now, too. So, just do whatever makes you comfortable."

"Oh," El says, leaning into Steve as she nods, "I'll start putting down traps, then."

Steve makes a mental note to warn Dustin later to watch out for those traps.

Romero

Three months after Belladonna twirls into the house and sets root and two months after El has laid down her final trap, Steve starts rearranging one of the guest rooms. He's not sure why, of course, but he's filled with a sudden and inescapable need for it to be different.

Steve changes the sheets on the guest bed, replacing them with a new, forest green set. He gets a dresser for the room and asks El to carve insects along the sides. The desk stays, but he moves it to sit under the window and replaces the curtains so they're lighter and more easily swayed by the breeze. He gets a bookcase and fills it with odds and ends: a jar of marbles, a comb with a mother-of-pearl handle, a shrunken head Belladonna found on the ground one day, and a collection of buttons, to name a few.

Finally, Steve covers the room in plants, dragging in planters and pots and even a fish tank for an aquatic plant set-up. While he never had a green thumb before, taking care of Nix and spending several hours on the phone with Morticia has given him the skills to make sure the plants thrive. He grows flowers and succulents and wall-crawlers and everything in between.

When he's done, two weeks have passed, and Steve inexplicably feels like the room is just about perfect.

It's just missing an occupant.

----

Someone grabs the back of Steve's shirt, tugging on it until Steve groans and rolls over. He stops once he's facing the edge of the bed, blinking tiredly against the odd glow coming from the kid standing there.

It's the middle of the night, and Steve had been halfway through a dream in which Dart and Nix were waltzing in the backyard, so he can definitely be forgiven for not questioning the child's existence. He just questions what brought the child to their room.

"Wha'z wrong?" he asks, the words slurred together and practically incomprehensible.

Thankfully, the child seems perfectly fluent in half-awake linguistics. "Bad dream," he says, voice soft like the breeze but all-encompassing like the rustle of leaves.

Steve hums softly and reaches out. He picks up the boy, vaguely noting that he can't weigh more than a five year old. The child says nothing as Steve cradles him to his chest and rolls back over.

"Sleep h're," Steve mumbles, placing the boy down between him and Eddie. He keeps his right arm under the boy's head, letting his bicep act as a pillow. And Eddie, somehow, seems to sense a child in the bed in his sleep. He shifts closer, draping his arm over the kid's stomach and then grabbing the edge of Steve's shirt tightly.

The boy settles in, grabbing Steve's other arm to hold like a teddy bear. "Good night," he says, the words barely more than a whisper.

Steve smiles and kisses the boy's temple, murmuring a good night in return before falling right back to sleep.

When Steve wakes up in the morning, his arm is still acting as a teddy bear. He tries to pull away, intending to go to the bathroom, but the grip tightens. Steve is about to tell Eddie he'll be back in a minute but pauses when he looks down.

Green eyes meet his, staring calmly. They belong to a little boy, no more than five, with skin so pale it almost has a green tinge and hair so red Steve is surprised the pillow isn't on fire. The boy is pinned under Eddie's arm, looking perfectly content to stay there.

"Uh, good morning," Steve says, his voice rough from sleep.

Before the boy can respond, Eddie hums softly, a smile tugging at his lips. "Good morning, sweetheart," he says.

Steve can't help a soft laugh. "I wasn't talking to you, babe," he says.

Eddie opens his eyes at that, zeroing in on Steve first like always before seeing the boy in their bed. "Oh," he says, holding the kid's gaze for a few seconds, "Good morning."

The boy nods to Eddie and sits up, finally letting go of Steve's hand only to hold his arms out. Steve doesn't really think; he just scoops the boy up, cradling him close.

Apparently comfortable, the boy finally says, "Good morning. My name is Romero."

And Steve suddenly knows who he redecorated the guest room for.

----

Belladonna and El don't blink twice at seeing Romero sitting at the kitchen island, a small cup of milk in front of him, when they come down for breakfast. Dustin, however, stops in the doorway and gestures at him while asking, "When the fuck did we get another one?!"

"Okay, first of all, language," Steve says, turning around and aiming a spatula threateningly at Dustin. "Second of all, this is Romero. Now, come sit down."

"Do neither of you find this weird?" Dustin asks, looking at Belladonna and El as he slides into his usual seat at the island. Eddie places a cup of orange juice in front of him, pushing down the bill of the cap he insists on wearing inside before moving on to get drinks for El and Belladonna.

"Nope! I've got a brother now," Belladonna says, grinning as she leans closer to Romero and pokes his cheek.

"You already had a brother," Dustin mutters before taking a sip of his juice.

Belladonna still hears him, so she turns to Dustin. "Yeah, but you're, like, an older brother," she says. "I go to you when I need to bury someone or rig something to blow up. Now, there's someone who can come to me for that stuff."

Dustin blinks, considering for a moment before relaxing. "Well, I guess that's true. Oh, and that music box you asked me to...fix is done," he tells her.

"Thanks, Dustin!" she says, settling in her seat again as Steve slides a plate of eggs in front of her.

"I put ghost pepper on it like you asked," Steve tells her, kissing the top of her head before putting another plate in front of Dustin. "And yours already has ketchup."

He goes back to the stove and finds a cup of coffee waiting for him. "Thanks," he says, pulling Eddie into a quick kiss before pulling away.

Eddie hums and playfully nudges Steve away from the stove. "I can make the oatmeal," he says, gesturing for Steve to go sit at the island, too. "Go bond with the kids."

Steve rolls his eyes but doesn't argue. He just takes his seat next to Romero and idly fixes a few fly-away hairs sticking up. "Romero, this is Belladonna, Dustin, and El," he says, pointing to each kid as he introduces them. "Belladonna is our daughter, Dustin is my brother, and El is Eddie's sister."

After a few seconds, Romero looks up at Steve. "Must I call them aunt and uncle?" he asks.

"Nope, you can call them whatever you like," Eddie says, grinning over his shoulder at Romero. "I suggest Dust-Bunny for Dustin."

"Can we please let that nickname go?" Dustin asks.

"No," El says, watching as Eddie pours oats into a pot of warmed milk. "It's amusing."

Dustin groans and shoves a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

"Hey," Belladonna says her eggs, poking Romero's cheek again, "How come your skin is green?"

"To blend in," Romero says, inspecting his now empty cup with a slight frown. He doesn't ask for more, though.

"Blend in with what?"

"The forest."

Belladonna hums, nodding once like that answers every question and doesn't inspire more, and focuses on eating her eggs.

"You know, we'll have to enroll Romero in school, too," Steve suddenly says, taking a sip of his coffee.

Eddie hums in agreement, pouring oatmeal into bowls before placing them in front of El, Steve, and Romero. "Good point. How old are you, Romero?"

"How old do I look?" he asks, picking up a blue plastic spoon and using it to stir around the oatmeal curiously.

"Around five," El tells him, pouring pitch-black syrup into her oatmeal before passing it to Eddie.

Romero nods. "I'm five."

Steve hums, meeting Eddie's gaze. His husband doesn't seem to have any ideas, either, so Steve tucks this moment away for later, after the older kids have gone to school. For now, though, he pours some honey into Romero's oatmeal and encourages him to give it a try. When Romero's eyes widen slightly at the taste, Steve grins and feels something warm settle in his chest.

Robin

Two weeks into summer, Robin appears on the front porch of the house with her dorm room in bags around her and an impatient expression. Steve has a similar expression when he opens the door. "What took you so long?!" he asks, yanking Robin into a tight hug that she quickly returns.

"C'mon, dingus, you know I had to finish school," she says, digging her fingers into Steve's side and grinning when he jerks away. "Now, show me to my room. I know you've set one aside for me."

Steve rolls his eyes, but he doesn't correct her. He has set a room aside. It's on the first floor. He'd dubbed it Robin's room when he finally spent more than two seconds studying the space and realized it had a perfect view of the house where the married couple likes to argue on the front lawn. They'll offer Robin hours of entertainment.

"Help me carry your stuff," he says, picking up several bags.

As he's shouldering two of them, Belladonna rushes onto the porch and crashes into Robin's legs, grinning up at her. "Robin! What took you so long?" she asks.

"Geez, she really is your kid," Robin says, grinning at Steve before crouching. "As I told Steve, I had to actually finish school."

"I know. I wanted to go set it on fire, but Dad wouldn't let me and Romero said it would draw too much attention."

"Well, set it on fire next time. If anyone dies, they have to give everyone an A."

"That's not true," Steve says, shooting Robin a look before gesturing Belladonna closer. "Here, can you help us carry stuff inside?"

"Okay! I'll take...this!" Belladonna grabs what looks like the heaviest bag on the porch, straining as she drags it inside.

Steve watches her and shakes his head. He looks at Robin and gestures to the final bags on the porch. "You gonna get those?" he asks.

"I can't believe you're making me carry things, Steven," Robin says, huffing as she picks them up. "Me, a guest in your home, having to carry her own things inside."

"One, not my name. Two, you're not a guest, Robin. You're family. And family carries their shit."

Robin rolls her eyes, unable to help a grin as she uses her foot to hold the door open for Steve. She slides into the house behind him, nearly tripping over Dart but managing to step over him at the last minute. "Once again, your name is whatever's comedically appropriate, dingus," she says, sticking her tongue out as they catch up to Belladonna dragging her bag down the hall. "And aww, you called me family."

Steve pauses and looks at Robin, a serious expression on his face. "Of course, you're family, Robin. You're more family than my parents. Living in a house with you was literally my birthday wish when I was 13," he tells her.

"Ooh, kinda embarrassing to admit that," Robin says condescendingly, her face scrunched into a sympathetic smile. It only lasts for a few seconds before she drops it into something more genuine and bumps her hip against Steve's. "But you're my family too, and I'm glad we get to be together now."

"Is this Robin?"

Steve blinks and looks over his shoulder to find Romero standing just behind them. He's gotten used to his son just appearing whenever and wherever he likes. "Yep. Romero, this is Robin. Robin, this is Romero, my son," Steve says, unable to contain a grin.

"Ohhh, this is the famous Romero," Robin says, spinning on her heel and crouching in front of him. They study each other for a few seconds. "Favorite color?"

"Gold. Like honey."

"Favorite food?"

"Dino nuggets."

"Right on. Favorite movie?"

"Friday the 13th."

"Favorite weapon?"

"Crossbow."

Robin nods once and looks up at Steve. "He sure fits right in," she says.

"He's got a way with the electric chair in Belladonna's room," Steve says, a happy pride filling his words.

"I'm sure he does," Robin says, nodding along like she hasn't heard Steve say this before during one of their phone calls. She flashes a grin at Romero, messes up his hair, and then stands. "Okay, show me my room already, dingus."

Steve snorts and nods, leading Robin the rest of the way to her room. "We're planning a big dinner to welcome you," he says, looking over his shoulder at her, "Everyone is gonna be there. Except Casper. He's on vacation."

"Ghosts take vacations?"

"Well, you can't expect him to work 24/7, right?"

Robin considers for a moment before nodding, figuring it would be an unreasonable expectation to have.

----

"The blood doesn't even look real," Robin complains, throwing popcorn at the TV from where she's sprawled on the armchair. He head is resting on one arm while her legs are thrown over the other, a bowl of popcorn and a soda balancing precariously on her stomach.

"It's the first movie," Steve tells her, shifting to lean more comfortably on Eddie's shoulder, "Give them a break." Romero is in his lap, sleeping with his head cushioned on Steve's chest. He'd nodded off a few minutes into the movie, and Steve had started idly running his fingers through Romero's hair.

"But she's right," Belladonna says, pouting as she tilts her head back to look up at her parents. "It's too dark to be real."

"They wouldn't really let the actors bleed," Dustin explains, looking up from his little animatronic long enough to meet Belladonna's gaze, "It's not, like, ethical. And the actors could sue them."

"They have never bled to death before," El decides, frowning from her spot on the floor. Her head is propped on Dart's side, and she's idly playing with a spider she'd found in her room. "They don't look nearly happy enough."

Steve feels Eddie laugh before he hears him, his shoulders and stomach shaking. "It's not even a clever death," he points out, feeding a few pieces of popcorn to Steve, "I wouldn't look happy, either."

"See, when I made these kinda comments at college, everyone looks at me weird," Robin says, nearly spilling her soda over herself and the chair as she wiggles to get comfortable. "Thank fuck I'm around normal people now."

"You think this is normal?" Dustin asks her.

"Yeah."

Dustin blinks and then points at El and Dart. "That's literally a freak of nature," he says, his tone still affectionate despite the words.

"Thank you for the compliment," El says, tilting her head to look at him.

Before Dustin can say he was talking about Dart, Belladonna turns around and pouts at him. The scene on the TV starts flashing, backlighting her in red and white and black. "How come you haven't called me a freak of nature?" she asks.

"It's okay, sweetie," Eddie says, reaching out to pat her head. "You'll always be our little poison flower."

"Besides, being a freak of nature is about your vibes, not your looks," Steve adds, flashing her an encouraging smile.

Belladonna considers this for a moment before nodding and turning back to the movie to watch the character's arm get completely torn off. "The arterial spray isn't accurate," she complains.

"You're all so weird," Dustin mumbles, not bothering to hold back the endeared smile tugging at his lips.

Steve's own smile widens as he reaches for Eddie's free hand and brings it to his lips, playfully biting his palm. "Isn't it great?" he whispers, meeting Eddie's eyes. He gets a semi-feral grin in response, one that shows off sharp canines, and Steve decides they'll simply have to break the bed again tonight.

Tag List!

(Tumblr has a limit, so I couldn't get everyone who's requested a tag, but I did try to get as many as I could)

@estrellami-1, @justforthedead89, @starman-jpg, @abstractnaturaldisaster, @sugartin, @ashwagandalf, @xjessicafaithx, @somegirlsomewhere, @imjust-that-shy, @blaqcats-fics, @littlebluejane, @xoxoladyclara, @halfadoginatank

@pjoneedstherapy, @nocturnalgayboi, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @justforthedead89, @gothwifehotchner, @elizbaehth, @angels-dressed-in-blood, @imfinereallyy, @oile-loves-sharks, @carlprocastinator1000, @stxrcrossed186, @spider-boygirl, @epiclazershark, @7shrewsinatrenchcoat

@perfectlymellowthing, @just-a-tiny-void, @nburkhardt, @nailbatandfreak, @sunfloweringstories, @vampireinthesun, @novelnovella, @bookworm0690, @bestwifehaver, @goosesister, @phantomcat94, @martinskis-lydias, @ghostofyourvampiregf, @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring

@nerdsconquerall, @dontslayfay, @potato-of-the-lord, @suikatto, @deliriousmom, @code-switcher, @lizard-dyk3, @anonymousbandgirl

Belladonna! (POV: you are Steddie and your daughter is very proudly showing off her new fang)

And Romero! (POV: you have insulted his little bow tie and he is now contemplating ways to get revenge)

[amybizarre]

🎄✨𝓐𝓭𝓿𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓢𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓝𝓻. 𝓣𝔀𝓮𝓷𝓽𝔂 𝓣𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮✨🎄

𝓟𝓻𝓸𝓶𝓹𝓽: Family Tradition

𝓐𝓵𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓮: All

𝓣𝔂𝓹𝓮: Short Story (No warnings)

𝓞𝓹𝓮𝓷 𝓽𝓸𝓭𝓪𝔂'𝓼 𝓭𝓸𝓸𝓻!

You've been busy the entire day.  With the help of Jazzy, Swan and Butch, you've been cooking up a storm for the festivities tomorrow. There had been so many potatoes to peel, so many pots to stir, so much meat to be prepared, so much sauce to be made.

All for feeding your lovely Wallies a festive feast tomorrow. It took the entire day and now you and your cooking team were rightfully tuckered out. But there was still one problem to solve for today: Dinner.

There was absolutely no way you'd even look at the stove today anymore. Luckily your family had a trdition for that, that solved this problem very nicely.

"Alright folks! Which pizzas do y'all want for dinner?", you asked loudly as you entered the living room, where most (if not all) Wallies were right now. To catch their attention better, you waved a flyer from a pizza delivery service around.

Immediately all heads turned to you, some expressions confused, others excited and one sceptical.

"Pizza?", Actor asked, looking up from his phone for once. "How comes?"

"Didn't you cook all day?" Royal tilted his head, keeping his friendly smile.

You smiled and crossed your arms, leaning against the door frame. "That's the point precisely. I've been in the kitchen all day. But all that food is for tomorrow. I do not plan on cooking any more today. Which means: Pizza for dinner today."

Eyes all across the room lit up.

"Besides, it's been a tradition in my family for a while now. So I'm keen on continuing it.", you added.

That was all it took to get the yellow fellas to flock around you, each one stating their order. You nodded along and patiently noted everything down on a notepad RF had provided you with last minute.

OG had never eaten Pizza before and wasn't sure what he would like. You offered to share a simple salami pizza with him, which he accepted. Royal didn't even know what a pizza was exactly. You explained it to him like a flat bread with sauce, toppings and cheese on it. Now excited, he ordered one with mushrooms and  ham.

RF and Gray wanted to share a pizza hawaii and Actor wanted the most expensive one after reading the entire flyer.

Lovesick ordered the same thing as you, but with extra cheese. So he could continue to be his "cheesy" self, as he liked to inform you.

In the end, the list of pizzas represented the entire range of human emotion. Just in the form of pizzas. If you catch my drift.

The phone call to order them all took about... 20 minutes. Just to place your order. Whoopsie!

After that was done and dealt with, Lovesick hugged your arm and nuzzled it with his cheek. You smiled down at him.

"What's up, Lovesick?"

He giggled, gazing up at you. "A direction, silly~ Aside from that, I was just interested in that family traditon of yours. Tell me more, please~?"

You pulled him along to the couch and tiredly plopped down on it. He wasted no time to start cuddling with you. Wrapping your arms around him, you hummed.

"Well, additionally to eating pizza, we added a little twist to it. My family and I used to eat it on the living room floor, like a picnic. And while eating, we usually watched something on the telly."

Lovesick's eyes sparkled in amazement. "Like a picnic, you say? That sounds really romantic...!"

You nodded. "In a sense it was. When we turned off the big lights and only used the Christmas decorations instead. It was very cozy each time."

Suddenly he sat up straight, softly shaking your shoulders with barely controlled enthusiasm.

"Can we do that too?? Pretty please?! I'll help you set up the blamkets too!"

You couldn't help but chuckle. "Alright, alright! We can do that. I'm sure the others will appreciated it too."

With that being said, he practically dragged you off the couch in excitement. The two of you spread blankets all over the living room floor, to accomodate as much alternates as possible.

Although... A few of them would probably have to sit on the couches and armchairs anyway. You could name at least three, who definitely would.

RF, because he's old. Opposite, because he doesn't wanna participate in the sillies. And Actor, because he thinks he deserves better than the floor. Fair enough though.

Before you knew it, the pizza arrived. The poor delivery boy had trouble balancing the high stack of cartons, so you hastily took it from him to prevent anything from falling down. While you brought everything to the living room and distributed the boxes between the many hungry puppets. Actor, being the richest one in this household, paid the delivery guy for now. He'd probably ask for his money back though. At least from the alternates he didn't like that much.

Before you knew it, the house was filled with the delicious smell of pizza and quiet chatter of your beloved found family.

Bon Appetit! <3

[sugarpsalms]

Ahh, here we are! After much revision (to the point where the only thing that's remained are the graphics [and character icons that @pumpkinspicelatte-art allowed me to use]), I've finally settled on the cast and main story branches this extremely self-indulgent One Piece modern AU.

For personal reference (and for anyone interested) I'll be making the occasional handy info post. Coming up next will be backstories for various cast members, but for now, let's stick with the basics and kick this off with a general run down + main cast corral. Join me below the cut for a silly goofy time!

A beloved nightlife spot in Miami, FL, Golden Hand is packed from open to close. Featuring a sprawling bar, a cozy patio, and three main rooms filled with arcade games, it has something for you, whatever your mood! Come early and you can grab a booth or patio corner; if you like to mingle, the barflies and game floor crawlers are friendly; or, if you’re wanting something a little more thrilling: tell the Bar Manager you came to let off steam. He’ll know exactly what you mean. If that’s what you want, be sure to bring plenty of cash. Once you’re escorted to Golden Hand’s back rooms, you’re going to need it. The drinks are pricier, the smoke is tempting, and—is that a pinball pit? That guy walking around, is he taking bets? Are we gambling? Hey! Stop with all the questions. What are you, a cop?

Crocodile

Owner and founder of Golden Hand, Crocodile is the toast of Miami. Though he’s had several successful ventures, the barcade is by far his most popular. It attracts both locals and tourists and is the pride of the local game design community. Every indie creator from the keys to the panhandle dreams of having Croc scoop their project up! While he’s a busy man, he can be spotted in Golden Hand most nights. Come early enough and you’ll see him chatting at the bar with its manager. After dark though, the only place you’ll find him is the back. If you want to chat, you'll have to drop serious cash.

Mihawk

Bar manager, custom cocktail crafter, and—when necessary—drunk asshole ejector, Mihawk’s is a face everyone knows. Croc may own the place, but Mihawk keeps it running, handling everything from daily operation to public relations. Though his gloomy attitude makes him seem unapproachable at first, regulars and staff alike adore him. Once you sniff his sense of humor out, turns out he’s more witty than scary. Want to charm him? Show interest in his herb garden and never leave with your tab open.

Buggy

Originally a regular, Buggy was ‘offered’ the position of Floor Walker after security footage turned up evidence of him installing card skimmers onto high-traffic games. When confronted, he was given a choice between paying the house a lump percent of his earnings or working off the debt. Chronically broke, Buggy chose the latter. He now spends most nights of the week collecting empty drink glasses and exchanging cash for game tokens. Was this how he pictured ushering in his 40s? No, but he's making the best of it, and as soon as he clears his debt, he's out!

Golden Hand’s various office staff, bartenders, and security

Alvida, Cabaji, Daz, Perona, Galdino, Mohji

Doflamingo

Crocodile’s first and most pesky business partner, Doflamingo is the reason your cup is always full. He’s the owner of several vineyards, distilleries, and micro breweries, and the sole provider of alcohol—among other things—to Golden Hand. Along with his family, he spends every summer in Florida catching up with his old flame, reviewing their contract, and setting up the next year’s shipment plan; as well as making boat trips along the Gulf Coast and straightening out supply lines for… well, back room patrons, you had to know all that smoke came from somewhere.

Rosinante

An ex-marine and Doflamingo’s live-in little brother, Rosi is mostly uninterested in the family business. He has trouble saying no, however, so in exchange for pocket money, he lets his brother keep him on as a kind of secretary. Day-to-day, Rosi fields phone calls, arranges meetings, manages travel plans, and otherwise keeps his brother on track. This last task is critical, as anyone who’s worked with Doflamingo will tell you. No one’s sure how Rosi motivates him, and Rosi isn’t telling.

Law

Former ward of the Donquixotes, Law is enrolled in medical school. Prior to that, he interned with the business. While his job description was vague, he could always be spotted with Doflamingo on his 'boating trips’. Scuttlebutt is, he was a runner, and not the track & field kind. Though no longer an employee, he’s still close with the family. He lives in their house, Doflamingo pays his tuition, and he tags along on their yearly Florida trips—where he still, occasionally, goes boating with Doflamingo as a favor.

Patrons come and go at Golden Hand with the season. Some can be seen every night for weeks, or every weekend for three months; some venture in for special occasions or to impress their out-of-town friends only; and some seem like they've been at the barcade all their life.

Golden Hand appreciates any and all business, of course, but its regulars hold a special place in the staff's heart. There's something nice about knowing what faces to expect... even if some of those faces tend to cause a ruckus.

Shanks

A well-known barfly, Shanks spends 4-5 nights a week in Golden Hand. He comes in early and orders cheap drinks for all of his friends. Despite flirting with both the bar manager and floor walker, he usually goes home alone... and never a minute before closing. He's a very predictable (and unlucky in love) kind of man. He's chatty, an excellent tipper, and surprisingly good at air hockey, making him popular with other other regulars as well as the staff. A few nights a month, he can be spotted in the back rooms smoking with Crocodile. No one knows what they talk about, but these meetings always precede Shanks going out of town.

Smoker

A local cop whose beat includes the streets around Golden Hand, Smoker swings by two or three times a week. Coming off a shift, he'll order a drink to have out on the patio with his partner, Tashigi, before heading to his home outside the city. While he's heard rumors of the barcade's illicit dealings, Smoker isn't in a rush to look into it. It's a popular place, and Croc is friendly with Smoker's chief as well as the DA. Too much trouble, in Smoker's opinion. He's just here to drink.

The Strawhats

A delightfully rambunctious friend group who share a few apartments in Little Havana, the Strawhats can be found in Golden Hand every weekend. The trawl the game floor from open to close, mostly playing with each other, though they've been known to break off in pairs and challenge other couples. When not pestering Buggy for tokens or cozying up to barflies for free drinks, the Strawhats can be found in the back. Their pinball skills are the stuff of local legend, making them the favorites to bet on any evening they happen to be spotted down in the pit.

Recurring background barflies, game floor trawlers, and backroom visitors

Ace, Sabo, Bartolomeo, E. Kid, Killer, Paulie, Icerberg, Rob Lucci

[alanna-artroid]

Jackbox Headcanons!

I felt like sharing some headcanons today. Just a few ideas I have for some of the hosts. I'll label each appropriately.

Master Mentalist:

He's skilled in various forms of magic. Hypnosis is just his favorite/specialty.

Rarely, if ever, raises his voice. He always speaks in a calm tone. Even if he's angry, which is also a rare occurrence, he'll still never raise his voice at someone. If HE'S mad at you, you've REALLY messed up.

Knows hundreds of ways to help people relax/get a good night's sleep. Good teas, soothing music, relaxed muscles, the works. It's easier to hypnotize people when they're relaxed. Helps get them into a trance.

That being said, he's TERRIBLE at going to sleep himself. He has tired eyes for a reason. It's not that he can't go to sleep, he just refuses to sleep at a decent time. The boy will stay up all night if you let him.

He enjoys hypnotizing the other hosts, just to see how they're affected by hypnosis. (With their permission, of course) Some of them are fighters, taking a considerable amount of time. Others soak it up like a sponge, rapidly falling into a trance.

As his (distant) cousin, he knows Schmitty very well. MM has been busy running his show, but they've kept in touch over the years. When Schmitty recommended him to Jackbox, he was on board with the idea.

Speaking of Schmitty, MM ADORES the Quips. They're just too cute! Likewise, the Quips really like him too. (Then again, the Quips like everybody) They really like playing in his magic hat.

He's easily startled by loud noises. It's one of the few times his voice is raised. He'll let out a loud yelp or squeal when he flinches. He no likey.

Jerri Rig

Is very logical in her approach to things. You HAVE to be when dealing with time-travel tech.

Can make all sorts of gadgets and gizmos out of anything. She DID turn a fridge into a time-travel device.

Secretly gets really excited about things. She tries to hide it as if she doesn't care, but you can see it in her smile.

Slightly cybernetic. The big box on her head DOES come off, but she prefers to keep it attached. Patches up a HORRIBLE head injury she suffered a long time ago. Let's just say there's a reason the box only has one eye.

Has a love-hate relationship with Master Mentalist. She often tries to find scientific explanations for his magic and is frustrated when this doesn't work. He finds it amusing. <3

Plays mini golf in her spare time. That's how she got the idea to use LOW scores for Time Jinx.

Acts sassy but actually really cares about people. She knows all the Time Jinx players personally since they're all time travelers.

Likes to listen to music while she works. Usually, remixes and electronic music.

Dictionary Keeper

Half angel, half devil. Mostly takes after her angelic side but can whip out her devilish features if needed.

Lives in a library in the clouds. More specifically, there's an apartment-esque part of the library she lives in. Her area has all the living essentials. A cute kitchen, a cozy bedroom, even the bathroom is pretty.

The ULTIMATE book nerd. She's read SO many books and is always eager to get more for the library.

Super friendly. She'll happily welcome anyone into the library. When she worked on Pack 6, she quickly befriended the other hosts. Even [REDACTED] was no match for her overwhelming sweetness! (They're dating.)

Finds words in the strangest possible places. In her sock drawer, in her hair, on her balcony, anywhere!

She's learning how to play the piano. This is shown in the credits song, which she performs herself.

Uses Dixie as a nickname, as Dictionary Keeper is a bit of a mouthful.

[wyn-n-tonic]

So... I haven't been feeling super great and it could just be because my period is three weeks late and all my hormones are in a pile up causing me to be insane or it could be the 27 years worth of major depressive disorder just chilling in my brain or it could be the EDS and the possible POTS, you know? It could be all of those! It could be none of those! But I will say... I have seen a significant decrease in my stress levels and I would like to talk about the things I'm doing for self care that are keeping me from losing my fucking mind.

Read more because this shit is just me rambling about my favorite self care things. Like I've really finally found a good combo for me and it makes me so happy that it doesn't feel like a chore. It's just nice!!! Also, this is not medical advice, this is just your friendly neighborhood mentally ill girly who deals with chronic illness sharing the things that make me happy.

FIRST OF ALL!!!! WASH YOUR FACE!!!! THEN TAKE YOUR FUCKING MEDS!!!!! I take my meds every single day at 8:10am because it's good to take your meds at the same time every single day *but* I've also discovered that's the best time to take my adderall so that it's really kicking in by 9 after I've done all my emails and things and need to focus on, like, actually doing my job. I've also been taking women's multivitamins and magnesium glycinate supplements. I feel like they've both made me less of a bitch because it's helped with the pain.

I have been eating breakfast! Not just iced coffee and prayers either, I've been eating a real ass breakfast. Everyday I make myself a little breakfast sandwich with an English muffin, egg, sausage and cheese of choice (I like colby jack, do whatever tf you want). This equals out to about 28g of protein and I'm supposed to have at least 30g first thing in the morning so it's pushed to 31g (maybe more) with the oat milk latte I make with my cute little espresso maker and milk frother. I have also limited my caffeine intake to one silly little coffee a day (but I'll have the occasional sips of coke zero when I feel a migraine trying to move in).

I've been working out recently. Even if I don't go to the gym, I try to get up and go for little walks. Which is nice. After I move, I want an under the desk treadmill.

I have a really bad habit of biting/picking my nails, especially when my anxiety is high or I feel the need to fidget but, for about the last few months, whenever I get the urge to bite or pick, I use cuticle oil instead and have been rubbing that into my nails/cuticles and it tastes god awful so of course I do not bite.

After work, I take a shower and I've started using the Saltair body wash in Santal Bloom because it smells very good TO ME. They have a bunch of different scents. But please remember that body wash is only a scent so please wash yourself with actual soap (and use a washcloth too oh my god, why is this a debate??? WASH IS LITERALLY IN THE NAME). Also, wash behind your ears EVERY SINGLE TIME.

ALSO night showers > morning showers. Argue with a wall because why would I want to get in my cozy bed with a body that has been steeped in outside germs all day??? Dirty feet??? ON MY SHEETS?!?! No.

I have *never* liked lotion because it's all too greasy or it smells gross or it's BOTH. I just get the autistic ick. I don't like things that sit ON my skin. But I know I should use it and I know I need to so I keep buying different brands of lotion but then I never finish them because oh my god so so gross and greasy. Anyway, somebody recommended that I try eos brand lotion and I have been using the coconut waters scent and oh my god. I recommend this lotion but use whatever you want and buy whatever scent you want, it's just nice. This lotion pairs very well with the body wash I like and it just makes me feel cozy as I get ready for bed.

Also wash your face again!!!!

(For skincare, I double cleanse with an oil cleanser & then a salicylic acid cleanser in the AM and a hyaluronic acid cleanser in the PM)

And I've been dermaplaning lately. That shit slaps. Why wasn't I doing that before???

And people keep telling me to buy topical magnesium to help with chronic pain but I kept getting links for Amazon and the thing about Amazon is... I don't like to use them if I can help it but I especially do not want to buy, like, make up or food or skincare products or vitamins on there because the amount of unregulated third party sellers freaks me out and I'm not trying to pop a rat poison supplement instead of what i actually ordered. You know? Anyway, my friend told me to get this Being Frenshe soothing stick... besties..... I have been using this shit ALL DAY LONG It's going on my thighs, my neck, my shoulders, my fingers, my knees, my ankles, my shins and it's so good for the chronic pain. And it smells so good and layers very nicely with the lotion and the body wash.

Seriously, my skin is so soft and I haven't really felt the need to pop a pain pill in a bit, my sleep is improved, my ability to calm my heart rate down during the day has improved. Did I mention my skin is soft?

Also, I'm currently losing weight and still healing from my biopsy (yes, I know it's been three months!!!) and I feel like the body wash + lotion combo I'm basically living in daily (sometimes twice a day because the showers are just so relaxing and not a chore to me now) are soooo helpful for my stretchmarks and scars.

Also, I've been turning my computer off an hour before bed to read which has been lovely.

Also, I bought enough lip balm (also eos because it's shea and not beeswax) to keep in different places. So I have a bed lip balm, a desk lip balm and a purse lip balm with one floater just randomly around the house.

And the *ONLY* AI we support in this household is the kind in my fancy little toothbrush that guides me in how best to brush my teeth.

Anyway, I just love being in my bed cozy sleep shirt smelling like coconut and vanilla and watching monster movies while not being in pain and having a resting heart rate that is NOT in the 120s. It's so beautiful. especially because, for the longest time, I couldn't get my resting heart rate below 85 while SLEEPING.

[narsus-travel-logs]

Establishing connection...

Pinging S.A.I.L. ...

Pinging...

Pinging...

Connection Established.

Accessing Personal Network...

ENTRY #2

Well... I'm not dead I guess? No, that's not right. I should be more optimistic.

The first day off-ship wasn't terrible. My warp point was an open plain, with a few trees scattered about. The local wildlife is... mostly friendly. I've gone a decent few kilometers away from my warp point since I landed and i'm yet to find another sapient being or any sign of someone else who might've found this planet. I do have confirmation some semblence of society was here at some point - I've run into abandoned campsites with tents propped up inside old ruined buildings. The buildings seem quite desolate and in a state of major decay. By what is left to decipher of their design I'd say this planet was once a Glitch settlement, but that's up for debate.

Before I left, I debated on bringing a specific tool with me. A Matter Manipulator. The Apes who rescued me entrusted one to me as a parting gift. I am aware Protectorate law states unlawful ownership of a Manipulator or other Protectorate technology is a criminal offense, but I either take this with me or I try to construct schematics on my own raw from S.A.I.L.'s survival essentials database. I am the world's biggest clutz so no way am I putting something together on my own. If the Protectorate somehow finds this - Hi! Please don't arrest me. It was life or death.

Anyway, apart from old campsites and ruins, I haven't found much. I've collected some basic resources and began working on a small shelter to live in planet-side until i collect enough resources to repair the ship. Or at least, attempt to. Thanks to S.A.I.L.'s database, I was able to set up quite a bit of furniture and extra tools for myself. Should I need to, I will be able to forge armaments and protective armor for myself with these. Despite its small size, this home I built is quite cozy... it'll deffinately suffice for the time being. I've also eaten a portion of my rations to keep myself sustained. I'm going to place a marker for the ship near the house so I warp down near it instead of kilometers away and head out tomorrow. I'm looking to either find some kind of plant to harvest for seeds or more resources for the ship. Finding neither would be depressing but it could happen. I'll have to prepare myself for that possibility.

I haven't stopped thinking about those apes. It still haunts me. It'll stay that way for a really long time I reckon. It's something I'll have to get used to.

It's going to get quite lonely on this journey. I'm scared. I hope I can get the ship working soon. Being stranded and alone would suck. It would suck so fucking badly.

I don't want to stay lonely.

[DATA EXPUNGED. REMAINING CONTENT REMOVED BY ADMINISTRATOR.]

[itzpris15634]

Ok so about this whole doki doki literature club thingy. As I said it's very messy cause like with most of my stuff there are so many alternative versions because I don't know what I want but

The way I see it the boys are in places of the ddlc girls aside from Monika cause well, there's three of them, not four unless we brought someone else in. In short: Russell = Sayori, Sunil = Natsuki, Vinnie = Yuri. Questionable choices right there, I know, but tbh I'm not going with those choices because I tried to give them whichever of those girls fit them most, I mostly went with how they died. As I always say it's called an alternative universe for a reason.

It's not really important but I thought I'd add it here cause why not, cause Vinnie in a literature club? Well, the way I see it maybe Russell started it or joined one (which was started by whomever Monika is) and Sunil kinda followed behind because the club was small and cozy and he too is into certain literature so why not? And Vinnie? He joined just to spend more time with Sunil and Russell, if they're there then he's there too. Maybe even sooner or later he would get into some literautre not to get kicked out xD perhaps just comic books or maybe even manga? You know, like Natsuki read. Or heck, adding to Vinnie Yuri maybe he would get into horror stories? He already likes horror movies right? So it's not that hard to imagine that he could get convinced to read some horror.

Anyway, although I think of it as mostly from the perspective of how the game plays out, I can't think but wonder who mc could be. Cause I just don't know. Whoever mc and Monika would be the important thing here are the deaths which is where their roles really come in.

So Russell is mc's childhood friend who has lately started being a little less like himself - going late and avoiding his responsibilities etc because of his developing in this world depression. So anyway, he like all the boys develops a crush on mc, all the stuff that happened in the game happen, Monika's counterpart convinces him to kill himself and he ends up hung whether mc accepted his confession or not.

Sunil was the most reluctant at first to have mc in the club because he felt good with just 4 of them so at first he appeared rather reluctant and shy which to mc appeared a little rude by accident but then he warmed up to the new member. He also is the one to notice Vinnie's weird obsession with mc (in a sec about him) cause he didn't use to be like that. He too is the one who noticed Monika's (since I don't know who Monika could be I'll just keep saying Monika) very weird behavior and tried to warn mc. Well, he ended up opening up in creepy ways about his problems and then with snapped neck

And then there's Vinnie who was friendly the entire time with mc, but later like Yuri started getting way too friendly and obsessed with mc seemingly out of nowhere and tried to have them all to himself and that also made him rather agressive. There's also this whole obsession with knives and self-harm, the main point is his obsessiveness and of course death by fucking stabbing himself right on mc's eyes and then his body is left to rot for an entire weekend as Monika is messing with everything.

That's the way I see it if the game was with Russell, Sunil, and Vinnie but this can go many ways really. Like for example I also like having Vinnie as Monika cause that's even more obsessive behavior and as you know I like him like that. Or or having Sunil as mc so Vinnie and Russell fall hard for him and yipee messed up boys poly except ot really, but who would be Natuski then? Idk idk. Basically, I want those three to get their personalities manipulated to get obsessed with mc and then die.

yeeeeah

Doki Doki!! 💖💜💚💙

Hmmm alright roles and casting- okay basing the roles on how they died is an interesting choice! I do like it.

I… don’t have much ideas for Monika and the MC either. Should we pick another boy character? Or go with one of the girls? Hmmm I’ll just refer to them as Monika and MC as well for now lol.

Funnily enough, I actually imagine Russell being the one to start the literature club. He just seems like the kind to take the initiative like that. Which would fit him into Monika’s role more, but TBH it also works fine that he just decides to join a club that another student has started previously.

But I like there are ‘signs’ of Russell’s depression and such. Maybe the MC goes thinking “Huh… he was so responsible and organized back then. Is he okay?” But then they simply dismiss it as him changing through the years. They are childhood friends after all, and people usually aren’t the same for all of their life stages. But dear oh dear is MC in for a shock ahahahaha….

Sunil being Natsuki in the sense that he’s hesitant about a new club member sorta makes sense. I imagine he’s doesn’t meet lots of new people all the time, he just hangs with the people he already knows. And the club was indeed small and cozy, kind of just their friend group but with a Club title to it. So he wouldn’t be too sure about this whole new member thing. Then again, it is a club, and people can join clubs anytime they want, so he has to get used to them.

And also the part where he starts noticing Vinnie’s (Yuri’s) obsession for the MC? I can see that. I do imagine him being very observant in general, so it works.

And the Vin, the Vin, the Vin! God, reading this really makes me remember just how fucked up DDLC really is. But I still do love it regardless. Obsessive Vinnie <33 Which actually, again, makes him another suitable candidate for Monika. You’d love to spend eternity with him in the clubroom, huh? No other distractions 😌😌😌

But anyway yeah! I do like your DDLC AU with the bois. They get their personalities manipulated and then die. Lovely! There are lots of ways we could go about with this.

As for my own ideas, I guess I did have thoughts about my own DDLC AU with the girls, this time. And there is 4 of them here to fit the number. I don’t have 100% any ideas for the roles. Except for Zoe being Monika, for the sole reason that I’d want to spend eternity with her <333

Anywayyyy yeah! Thanks for sending this.

[nandysparadox]

Yeah, so what Ao3?!??!! Let me spam the dam button like they deserve!!!

The fanficcccccc she graduated and fuck it was BEAUTIFUL!!! Oh the imagery is still on point , the fairy is so effortlessly eerie, the way their golden hair caged him, that line, gave me shivers.

Crying screaming squeezing them

I love them I love them I love them so much, I hope Remus doesn’t eat Jaq, oh

I want them to do the air dance and Roman showing his trinkets just like at the ball but again under a more truthful light, I want Roman to sit and watch with sparkles in his eyes as Patton can finally tell him the proper stories that go along with each little thing, how his father got it for him, how his mother used to wear them and whenever he gets teary eyes Roman is right there with him to apologize for his own kind and their cruelty for ripping him away from his family, holding him close and crying just as much from pure aching empathy.

I want them to have their little consort wedding with Jaq in the littlest of bow ties, they are the most proper of best mice (instead of a best man) and I want Janus to just appear to give him away and Patton is so glad to see him while Roman is vastly confused (idk maybe they have like backstory, Janus might have a ✨reputation✨) but Patton is just so happy, telling him what happened, that the mean lady is gone and he fell in love and thanking his fairy snake father profusely for all he’s done and Janus shushes him and insists it was his pleasure, and then the wedding happens and it’s perfect and I don’t know maaaaayyyybbbeeee Janus ends up standing next to a particular bird man and they get into friendly talking and eventually a fairy chess match, which they bet little shiny trinkets on

Is Remus the thorn prince to Roman’s rose? I think he should be

I want to see more of him and Virgil as well, what happened with that? Oh I want to see Patton meeting the rest of the family, I want to see Roman finally being allowed into the human world and I want him to be there as Patton hopefully gets to see his father for the first time in so long and I want Roman to meet the same poet he met so so many years ago and I want that poet to write a poem just for him, the rose prince, once he hears the kind fairy found love and I want Roman to read it as he falls asleep and I also want bards across the human countries to sing their tales for years to come-

LET ME SEND MORE KUDOS DAMN IT

❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙

This fic was incredible, I loved every little bit of it, I swear you have so much talent it makes me go feral, my absolute favorite part was when Roman and Patton were in the woods and Patton was showing him what all the human trinkets did, I keep picturing Roman trying to touch the fire because he’s just silly like that <3

Thank you, so much 💚✨

oh my goodness! thank you so, so much for this wonderful ask 🥺🥺 i'm SO happy you enjoyed the ending, and the story overall! your comments and asks brightened up my day. I cannot overstated how grateful I am for that. i'll break this down into points so i can answer everything you said because aaaa ❤️🥺

very glad The Faerie's eerie vibe came across right. despite the … everything about her, and that she's despicable, I must admit I enjoyed writing her a lot. I guess evil can be fun (for me. not poor patton 😭) and I like that line too :)

your honour, I love them!! and I can promise that remus will not be eating jaq under patton's watch 😆 that's his little buddy

also, after moving to the palace patton makes a cozy little home for jaq <3

I promise the sweet moments and the hurt/comfort will be coming in the future!! patton will have a lot of things to grapple with, but roman will be there to support him in his journey of healing

ok i’m stealing the best mice idea that’s genius dgfghdsfgd they deserve a little bow tie 100% and I can say that I have plans in regards to the crowning ceremony! and they do include janus!

and without veering too close to spoilers, you got something right – janus does have a reputation in the palace, though roman is not particularly privy to it

logan and janus playing fairy chess, that’s a wonderful idea :)

I haven’t yet figured out what remus’ title was prior to being crowned – however, his nature connection is summer rain showers! it’s why roman at some point mentions that his hair always looks a little wet. his main title currently is duke of shadows, since his consort is virgil

we will see more of virgil yes!! :D unfortunately he couldn’t appear more in the main story, but we will see more of him. and patton will have a Time meeting all of roman’s siblings 😆 it will take a little bit of time until patton feels comfortable returning to the human world, but when they do I promise roman will have the time of his life lol! and about the other thing, I can say I have Plans

thank YOU so much!! you are too sweet I swear 😭 I’m receiving all the extra kudos in my heart <3 and I love that scene too, roman is silly and they are adorable ^.^

[carverl]

So I recently replayed every mission from the I Expect You To Die franchise to rank them subjectively from worst to best based on my own experience playing them, keep in mind I don't think there is a bad level out of all of these and I've enjoyed each to a certain extent and when Cog in the Machine comes out I'll add the levels from that game into this list (I am not including the tutorials or intro sequences in this seeing as there's no actual gameplay in either of those)

13. Operation: Squeaky Clean - I've never really liked this level due to the tediousness of mixing the chemicals together, finding the right combination of said chemicals through diagrams and the absolute nightmare of trying to put the antivirus into the rocket at the end which I find utterly frustrating not in a "Oh this puzzle is hard to figure out" way but just in how jank it is and being forced to restart after that destroys a piece of my soul every time. That being said I enjoy the window washer gags and the setting is cool, I just wish the mechanics were more fun.

12. Operation: Friendly Skies - This level is very fun with a host of great lines from the Handler, Zor's car is fun to poke around in and the bomb defusal is a classic moment for me. I don't have any issues with this level it's just a bit basic which is totally fine seeing as it's the first proper level in the series but as a result it comes up short next to the following 11.

11. Operation: Seat Of Power - Seeing inside a Zoraxis meeting room and having a switch that drops Zor's henchmen into a firey pit is honestly both hilarious and unsettling, I love using the villain's own gadgets against them. The villain lair atheistic is very nice and the method of escape is perhaps one of the most stylish in the series with the flying chair being a nice touch.

10. Operation: Winter Break - There's something so cozy about this one with the fireplace and snow outside it's got a unique vibe and I find the safe puzzle to be satisfying to crack and the gravity crystals with the lasers at the end adds some great tension, whenever I play this level I always wear the fedora and the lasers always set it on fire which results in a laugh from me everytime.

9. Operation: Stage Fright - We open The Spy and the Liar with a bang in a fun opening level that has a great sense of espionage and discovery in it, setting the stage is fun and the little details of hearing people below you react to the stuff you drop is such a charming detail, I also love the Fabricator's commentary over the headphones. The fight with Zoraxis agents at the end is exhilarating and even though it's hard to miss with the crossbow it still feels good getting a shot in. Also "THIS IS NOT PART OF THE SHOW EVERYBODY RUN!" Is so funny to me and I'm not sure why.

8. Vacation: First Class - If I'm ever in a mood for a laid back level I choose First Class, it's so classy and I will always remember how good it felt figuring out the combination of buttons on the wall by noticing the clues in the environment myself, fending off the assassins, car and plane gives the level a thrilling conclusion that I really enjoy. That being said I did always find the violinist surviving with no explanation when you're lead to believe she's shot a bit strange but it's not enough to detract from my enjoyment.

7. Operation: Eaves Drop - I love the sense of mystery and intrigue this level has to offer, I feel like a real spy snooping about the Fabricator's workshop figuring out the evil scheme, the element of the flashlight adds a lot in terms of roleplaying as Pheonix in that scenario. I just find the whole set up a ton of fun, the music is suitably restrained and I love how it gets more fast paced at certain parts almost like it's reflecting Pheonix getting more excited at the discoveries they're making.

6. Operation: Deep Dive - As someone with thalassophobia I find this level terrifying in the best way, the thought of being trapped at the bottom of the ocean in a cramped, claustrophobic pod gives me incentive to get through the level. The puzzles are great in this one with the grenade and code being real highlights for me, I love the sense of panic that comes over you when you hear the glass crack or the voice crackle. It's just a great level with a uniquely terrifying setting.

5. Operation: Safe and Sound - John Juniper. That's all I need to say about why this level is so great, we get a proper face to face with the villain in a way we hadn't until this level with an amazing monologue that I never skip. The fast pace of this level makes replaying it very fun with the music adding a great sense of urgency, it feels the most like a classic Bond film moment and I love it. Also the way Juniper made Pheonix a sandwich to eat while he's busy going on about world domination is both funny and adorable.

4. Operation: Party Crasher - Going undercover as Juniper's butler while using his own defence system against him? Sign me up, indeed this level is both tense and super entertaining and was I the only one who got really nervous trying to figure which glasses were wine glasses? There's so much I enjoy in this one with using the masks to find a way out, gassing the Zoraxis agents and of course hearing Juniper's voice crack when he sees you wearing his mask is worth a whole heap of points just on that alone.

3. Operation: Death Engine - The sheer scale and spectacle of this level is remarkable with the outer space set piece being a real standout with probably the most difficult puzzles in the series, I love how elements from across the first game come back in this level to make it feel like a proper conclusion. Solaris's presence instead of the Handler gives this level another unique trait and her commentary as you fumble through every option is great. The last bit where you deposit the nuclear box into the station is so tricky to pull off but feels so satsifying when you do with the instrumental theme playing.

2. Operation: Jet Set - Oh my god the amount of fun I have with this one is ridiculous, the setting is great, the music is classy and I adore how it ramps up in intensity at the later bits of the mission. The sense of tangible progression and problem solving is the perfect balance between being difficult and rewarding, figuring out you have to break the window to the plane is such a god tier moment to me with how well presented it is with the missle aporoaching. The amount of ways Juniper tries to kill you is hilarious and his commentary is the best part of the whole operation; how he goes from polite to agitated to downright murderous is great, big props to the voice actor.

1. Operation: Rising Pheonix - This level is no joke one of the best experiences I've had in any game, the stakes of the mission are massive and you really feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders ascending in that elevator. There's so many great moments like with the lift being shot up, using the taser you find on the table saw and hearing an instrumental of the main theme play as you finally confront Juniper. Juniper's death is shocking (pun intended) and hearing Zor's distorted voice is genuinely chilling, no joke my palms were sweating when I was defusing the nuke. Then when you realise you have to sacrifice yourself to save the world with the swelling music oh my god peak gaming experience. It's such a masterpiece of a level and it is in my opinion the best part of both games.

[nonhumanresources]

Ponytober Day 3 - Casting Spells

More writing but this time it's cool because WOAH IT'S A COLLAB. Friend did the art and I did the writing! It's about me getting turned into a pony by a very distracted friend. Turned out fun I think, and the art is incredible! Check that out here.

Story itself is below! It can also be read here if you prefer a google doc. Due to length I suppose I'll format this like my regular story posts, too. Seriously I was not planning on 4k words.

Summary: Maru is a pony. This is new. However, book club is happening, and this takes precedence.

What to expect: pony TF and ranting about Animorphs.

Length: 4.2k words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maru trotted through the kitchen, taking in a deep breath. His nostrils flared, and he sneezed, the scents emanating from the oven far more intense than he was ready for. He stumbled at the force of it, getting his hooves tangled, clacking loudly against the wood floor. 

Behind him, the softer sound of sneakers echoed slightly through the hallway. “The sitting room is just through there,” Ash called from behind. “And uh, tissues should just be on the counter there. Sorry, there’s probably still flour floating around.” When he heard their voice, Maru’s ears swiveled backwards, bringing it to the forefront of his attention. It felt like squinting, but with his hearing. 

Maru glanced around, finding the tissue box. He actually squinted as he focused on it, the horn atop his head heating up, coming to life with a pale green aura. Another aura of the same color enveloped the tissue emerging from the top of the box, and he flicked his horn upwards, willing it to move. 

The first tissue did pop out of the box, but it shredded itself almost instantly. He tried again, this time moving slower, trying to keep it from stretching at all. The tactic succeeded, and he caught it with a hoof, rubbing his wet, sensitive nose. He still wasn’t used to being able to smell so clearly. The air was in high definition, now—he could even smell directions, if he focused, able to tell based on the breeze on his nose and the strength of the scent where it was coming from. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled, crumpling the tissue into a ball with his telekinesis and tossing it into the trash can. He glanced behind himself and saw Ash waiting patiently, dressed in a flannel and sweats. I guess it has been getting colder, Maru realized. With the new coat, he hadn’t noticed. He resumed his trot through the door on the opposite side of the kitchen, entering a cozy little sitting room. It was sparsely decorated, but there was a huge flag hung on one wall depicting Ash and their two roommates dressed in formal wear. The gag decor served to help enliven the space somewhat. A TV stand stood on one side, though it was pushed to one side to make room for a sofa and a lounge chair facing each other. It seemed almost intimidatingly formal, though he knew it wasn’t. 

Ash followed and let out a little laugh. “It’ll be more friendly when we’ve got attendees to actually make a circle of chairs. Hard to do when there’s just two people in the book club.” They stepped past Maru, brushing against his fur as they scooted through the tight space and settled down in the chair, legs tucked up underneath them, almost like a perch. “I figured the couch would be better for you, considering you’re horizontal now.”

Maru scoffed, but he did trot over and climb up onto the cushions, settling down with his forelegs hanging off the front so he could face forward. It was a bit awkward to sit twisted, but it was better than nothing. He slung his bag off his back and slid it to the floor beside him. “Yeah, I don’t think I’d fit in any of your chairs at this point.” 

“Too long,” Ash agreed. 

Maru felt his face grow a little hot. “Not to mention the pony body.” 

“Yep, lanky pony body.” 

“It’s tall, thank you very much,” Maru retorted. He coughed, changing the subject. He may be lanky, but that was a mark of pride, thank you very much. “That seemed like a lot of mess to bake cookies for just two people. Er, person and pony. What kind did you make?” 

Ash grinned. “Oatmeal.” 

Maru groaned, rolling his eyes. “Seriously?” 

They laughed, shrugging. “What? I thought it was the best choice, given the circumstances. Plus it’s funny.” 

Maru shook his head, but he couldn’t help but laugh at least a little. Leave it to Ash to turn baking into a bit. “Well, they better be tastier than they are funny. You wanna start?”

“Sure.” Ash swung their legs out from beneath themselves and stood. “I’ll grab a few cookies and we can get going.” They exited the room, and Maru heard the oven creak open, cupboards rattling. His gaze wandered the room curiously. While he sat, he fidgeted, his horn lighting up once more and snagging a pillow on the other side of the couch with its aura. He lifted it up and down, spinning it while he inspected the rest of the room. He’d originally done this to practice his telekinesis, but it had rapidly become a habit, and he’d bumped his head against objects he’d forgotten he himself was floating several times at this point. On the plus side, it had genuinely helped him learn better control over the magic. He’d gone from using telekinesis like a numb hand to grasp at everything, straining as hard as possible just to lift it a few inches, to something decidedly more magical. He’d thought of it like a spectral hand, but as time went on, it was feeling more and more like something more ethereal. Letting it act as a force of will, rather than a hand that he could use as he’d done before he’d changed, helped the telekinesis be less stiff. That had been a very exciting and very, very nerve-wracking realization. It was like he had to let go of his old form just to get better at using this one. Or maybe he was just catastrophizing. 

“Yeah! You get that pillow!” Ash cheered. Maru yelped and firing it across the room, smacking it into the far wall. He spun and glared at the doorway, where Ash stood, grin plastered across their face once again. “Sorry to startle you, just thought I’d give you some encouragement. That cushion must have said something real nasty, eh?” They held a plate of cookies, and they dragged a spare chair to the space between the recliner and the couch, setting it down there. They jumped back into the lounge chair with a few cookies in hand, this time with their legs sideways, feet sticking up over one of the armrests. 

“You wanna talk about it?” they asked, biting into one of the cookies and promptly fanning their mouth. “Ow. Hot.” 

Maru grabbed one of the cookies with his horn, blowing on it before he responded. Did he? “Not… particularly,” he admitted. The prospect of getting into it all was daunting. Turning into a small purple pony came with a shocking amount of emotional weight. 

Ash nodded, seemingly content with that answer. “Gotcha. We can talk about something far more important instead.” Reaching behind themselves, they grabbed a small paperback book off the shelf behind the couch and held it up. The cover was a somewhat horrifying depiction of a teenager transforming into a lizard. 

“Animorphs!” 

~ ~ ~

Ash had been the one to suggest a book club. After all, they were the only one who had actually read Animorphs other than Maru, and they’d been keen to reread the series along with him. Maru was already several dozen books ahead, but Ash didn’t much mind; it would help refresh the beginning of the story for Maru, while they got to enjoy talking about each book with him. Plus, it’s not like they were going to get spoiled on the ending; one of the only Animorphs books they’d actually owned as a kid had been the very last one, so they were already long past that point. 

Unfortunately, Maru had texted before the first meeting, abruptly canceling it. Everyone had been worried, as it was radio silence for multiple days before word got out: Maru, their loving friend, was now an utterly adorable cartoon pony. 

No one had quite been able to wrangle the how out of him thus far, but frankly, the entire group was amazed enough at sudden change to be willing to suspend their questions until he was willing to share the information himself—even though several were desperate to find out. Fortunately, all of them were pretty used to talking about this kind of thing; mostly, they were shocked it was actually real. 

So, book club was rescheduled, which gave Ash the time to speed through a couple more books. They’d been meaning to only do the first, but it had gotten them into enough of a reading mood that books two and three had flown by in time for the first official meeting. They reasoned that was more than enough to talk about in an evening. 

“Yes!” Maru leaned forwards, smiling. The expression should have sat oddly on his muzzle, but somehow, it twisted in just the right way for it to come off as natural and friendly. Cartoon horses were just more malleable than their real life counterparts, Ash figured. 

“Okay, so, since we both read the book recently, I don’t think we need a summary or anything,” Ash began, leafing through its pages. “It was good, for sure. I remembered the basic plot from when I was a kid, but it was fun to go through it again. Been a bit since I read anything for kids, too, honestly.”

Maru laughed, his head bobbing up and down. “Maybe the first book is, but they go so crazy so fluffing—I meant, frosting—gah, you know what I’m trying to say. Ponies have a hard time swearing.”

“I got it,” Ash hummed. “I remember some wild stuff, plus everything you’ve mentioned. Most kids books don’t have the main characters kill Hitler. Lump it in with Warriors and Guardians of Ga'hoole under ‘books I should probably have not been allowed to read but completely changed my brain chemistry as a child,’ eheh.” 

“Right?!” Maru resounded, leaning forwards even further. He was tapping his hooves against the couch in excitement, tail flicking. “Like—they’re constantly almost dying, their families are involved, it’s all insane.” 

“Not to mention the sheer amount of alien nonsense,” Ash agreed. “Book four is like, Atlantis, right?” 

“Yeah!” Maru leapt up from where he sat, and Ash leaned to one side, avoiding the sharp end of his horn. He shoved his nose into his bag and came out holding a simple journal in his mouth, levitating another, fancier one with his horn. He set the journal down and searched through the opening pages. 

“I’ve been taking notes as I go,” he explained, distracted. Ash leaned forwards to try and get a look, but they weren’t wearing their glasses, so it was legible as chicken scratch from this far away. “Here—yeah, this is the one where two of them just start having visions for no reason, and then they have to go find Ax underwater.”

“Forgot about the visions,” Ash mused. “What else is going on there? I remember some crazy water animal, right?” 

“Mhm!” Maru’s horn literally sparked with giddy excitement. Ash reached out and extinguished a spark that landed on the oatmeal cookie platter; it was pleasantly warm between their fingers. “It’s this big whale thing that’s got like, thirty tails, and it’s all red. I swear I have a pen somewhere, I could draw—”

He was cut short by a sudden ripple in the air. Like hazy heatwaves, an image swam in between the two friends, flickering like a low-battery flashlight. It was a great, hulking thing, with ruby red skin and eyes that seemed to glare out of its realm of nothingness at the two. The whole thing was cast in minty green light that streamed from Maru’s horn, not unlike a projector. 

The room was dead silent as the image faded away, the unicorn’s horn going dim once more. Ash blinked the bright afterimage out of their vision, the dread gaze hanging in their mind. 

“Dude.”

“I-I don’t know how I did that!” Maru yelped almost immediately. “I’ve barely even started studying illusion magic!” 

“No. Dude.” Ash knocked a fist on the wooden chair, and Maru’s muzzle snapped shut. “That was awesome.” 

Maru looked like he might faint, but he gulped it down. “Yeah. Y-yeah, it was cool. It was just sudden, is all.”

“Two questions,” Ash stated, holding up a hand. “One, what do you mean by studying?” They held up a finger. “Two, think you can do that again?” A second finger went up, and they waggled them in front of Maru’s snout. 

In response, the book on the couch came to life, floating up in the air. “Uh, I found it a few days after… y’know. The whole thing. It’s a book of Equestrian magic, I think, so unless there are other unicorns out there, I can’t see it being for anyone else.” 

“Also awesome,” Ash interjected. That brought a smile to Maru’s face again, wiping away the shocked expression. Good.

“As for doing it again… maaaaybe? Like I said, I don’t even know how I managed it the first time.” Maru shoved his journal aside to make room on the floor in front of him, dropping it open to a bookmarked page. Complex diagrams covered it, labeled with what Ash could only assume were notes on casting technique and the like. That sounded… magic-y enough. 

“Do you want to try it again?” Ash pushed, unable to keep a hint of excitement out of their voice. It wasn’t every day you got to see magic purple ponies, after all. 

“I mean, yeah, obviously,” Maru sighed, tapping his hoof on the page. 

“Let’s do it, then!” 

“How are we supposed to replicate an accident, though?” 

Ash shrugged. “More book club, obviously. Here, I’ll get back into place…” they trailed off as they threw their legs back over the armrest of the chair, shifting back and forth to get comfy. “There. Then you can look at your spell book, but don’t focus on it; just keep talking about Animorphs.”

The pony gave them a baleful look. “I don’t know if Animorphs is the answer to everything, Ash.” 

“C’mooon, Maru, just give it a try. Look, I’m even eating another cookie. I swear you can’t even tell it’s a new one.” True to their word, Ash snagged another oatmeal cookie and took a bite, opening their mouth to show off the half-chewed mush. Maru stuck his tongue out, turning away.

“Fine, just never do that again,” he chided. 

Ash gave him a thumbs up, then swallowed. “Okay. Book four. The Animorphs are… what, on a boat? Stranded in the middle of the ocean? Flying above it? Where are our heroes?” 

Maru rolled his eyes at the theatrics. “Boat, yeah. So, Tobias and Cassie were having visions, right? And then they all saw these ocean ruins on the news and recognized the writing on them as Andalite language, and it gave them such a powerful vision that both of them blacked out.” Maru sighed. “Look, Ash, I don’t know if this is gonna work.”

“No, no, keep going!” they protested. “Seriously, now I’m just into the story. I wanna hear about it.” 

Maru shrugged. “If you say so. The Animorphs had to make it out to the middle of the ocean, right? But it was too far for the two hour morph limit, so they had to get onto a boat somehow…” 

Ash listened attentively, doing their best to look relaxed while keeping an eye on Maru’s horn. It was an experiment, sure, but it was also just fun to listen to him talk about something he was so clearly passionate about. Whether or not they got to see some more magic, Ash considered this a successful book club. I’ll have to catch up a bit further for next time, they thought. Otherwise it’s just gonna be a storytelling hour featuring Maru.

The pony’s explanation of the book trailed off. He squinted, attempting to readjust his glasses with a hoof, only succeeding in knocking them further off kilter. A bit of telekinesis righted them. “Uh. These words are starting to make more sense to me. Should I be worried?” 

Ash made a noise somewhere in between ‘probably?’ and ‘no clue, you’re the magic expert.’ “Try reading them, see if that activates the spell or something. Then keep talking about Animorphs, every time you get into it your horn starts glowing. I’m sure there’s some magic-pony-emotion-thing going on.” 

Maru stuck his snout basically into the spellbook, squinting harder. “The Animorphs are with Ax, under the ocean, right? This one’s like….” He pronounced a word in a language that made Ash shudder, the syllables slipping around their ear like water currents. “And Visser 3 knows they’re there. Um, ssslierat alethandra. They need to get out before the whole ship gets blown up by the Yeerks, and…” 

He kept going, but Ash was finding it hard to concentrate. The magic words interspersed in the story weren’t just impossible to understand; they were actually difficult to listen to. They kept knocking around in their head, taking up far too much space, drowning out the rest of the story. An ache began to pulse inside their skull, and they rubbed their temples, trying to ease the pressure. 

They could tell Maru had taken a breath, but Ash couldn’t manage to get out anything than a grunted “Uh-huh.” He immediately launched back into the story-spell, and their headache continued to get worse. Their hand bumped uncomfortably against their forehead; Ash pulled it back, vision swimming. 

What was in front of them was very clearly a hoof. “Agh. Maru?” they mumbled, head pounding. He didn’t seem to hear. With another one of the strange phrases, their back arched, hip bones reknitting themselves and making the seated position awkward to maintain. 

This was, of course, not a great situation. Whatever spell Maru had, it wasn’t illusions—it was turning Ash into a pony, too. They grunted as their shirt grew tight under the flannel, aching back consolidating into two oddly textured lumps that strained to be freed. Ash had to stop him reading it and fast—they couldn’t be a pony, because tomorrow, they had classes to attend, and the two were very likely going to be at odds with one another. 

“Yeah, yeah. Hey, Maru?” They tried to interrupt him again, but they were slurring their words, voice quiet under the strain of the changes. They coughed, and the cough turned into a hack that stretched their neck to twice its regular length. “Maru!” 

They twisted around, frantic now. Maru’s eyes had a silvery sheen over them, vision locked to the tome on the floor. His horn was alight with shining magic, brighter than Ash had seen it the whole evening, bathing the room in an eerie green glow. The sight would have been exceptionally frightening, had he not been relating the plot of The Message, book four of Animorphs by K.A. Applegate. That part made it only moderately-to-somewhat frightening. 

Ash nearly passed out as, with one word, the pain suddenly spearheaded somewhere near their prefrontal cortex, then blossomed outward. They held their face with a hoof and a hand, feeling as a horn sprouted between them, fortunately passing right between two fingers instead of stabbing into them. It was sharp. 

“Listen, Maru, I—”

Shhhrrrip! One shoe tore in half, another creamy blue hoof poking through it. Ash kept trying. 

“I really think—”

Another magic word, and Ash’s hair was obscuring their vision, fluffing out into a styled mane. The blonde faded to green, then a deep blue towards the end. 

“Would you stop reading?!”

With a mighty tear, two feathered wings BURST from Ash’s back alongside a long, flowing tail. With their already precarious choice of seating position, the shove from beneath was all it took to shove them up and back. They flailed four hooves as they tipped over the armrest. Their wings flared outwards to help, which accomplished exactly the opposite, unceremoniously dumping them right onto their head. Collapsed in a heap of shredded clothing, mussy mane, and bedraggled feathers, Ash let out a deep sigh. One final magical word made two pointed pony ears pop into existence, peeking out from their mane. 

Well, they thought. At least now I get to see if I like the oatmeal cookies more.

~ ~ ~ 

“...the sperm whales let them ride them back to shore, and Ax… oh.” Maru blinked as he reached the end of the spell. His horn was glowing, but no alien fish swam through the air this time, glowering at its real compatriots. “Nothing? I swear I said it right….” 

He glanced once more through the spell. That really was all of it? The story idea had been interesting, and he had an easier time making out the runes now, but it really had been for naught. He sighed; Ash’s ideas were usually too silly to work, and half the time they were jokes, anyway. 

A whinny somewhere behind him stopped him dead. Maru’s stomach dropped, ears laying back. Oh no.

He spun around and clapped both hooves to his mouth, suppressing a shriek. A large alicorn was propped up against the couch, upside down. One he knew well—he’d drawn this alicorn, back when he’d had the ability to hold a tablet pen. 

“Ash?” he gasped, horn sparking again. One of the motes of light drifted down and rested atop their brand new snout. They blew it away, clearly exasperated. 

“That would be me, yes,” they said sardonically. 

“But you’re—”

“Yes,” they interrupted, sounding grave. “It appears my ass is, in fact, a horse.” Based on the unfortunate positioning, this was an easy fact to confirm. The deadpan delivery was even enough to push past the usual cartoon censorship. One of their shoes dropped off a hoof, smacking into their horn and bouncing away. “Along with the rest of me. Help me up, yeah?” 

Maru nodded and rushed over, tripped over himself in his haste. He braced his shoulder against the lounge chair and pushed, sliding it over the floor, only stepping on Ash’s wings and mane once or twice in the process. They wriggled all four legs, trying to right themselves. Maru helped tilt them and got smacked with a wing as they came rightside up, a wobbling mess. 

“Now then.” Ash stood up, taking a step towards Maru. Or, well, they tried. They only succeeded in throwing themselves face-first back to the ground. They quickly sat back up and coughed. 

“Ah. What I meant to say was this.” They reached out a hoof, pawing at the Animorphs book that had been dumped to the floor along with themselves. They made a motion as if picking it up and raising it into the air, and seemed surprised at how ineffectual this was in accomplishing anything whatsoever. They sucked in an annoyed breath, raising an eyebrow at Maru. 

“Look, the page SAID illusion, I swear,” he said, but the excuse sounded a little lame. “I… don’t even really remember casting it. I said it exactly like it was on the page.” 

Ash sighed. “I’m sure it said illusion. I trust you, Maru. However—” they raised both wings. “—I am also a pony. So something went wrong. You looked like you’d been possessed when you were casting that thing.” 

Maru opened his mouth, but Ash continued before he could speak. “Not actually possessed. Sorry, I don’t think my apartment is haunted. Maybe next time though.” 

Even despite the panic, Maru sighed, a little disappointed. “At least that would give an explanation. I’m sorry, Ash.” 

Despite the situation and all the awful feelings swirling around in Maru’s stomach, there was a deep-seated relief. At least I’m not alone. It was something of a selfish thought, but it was true.

Ash clicked their tongue. “Yeah. I bet. Listen, bookmark that page for later and stop working on illusion spells for now. Book club only goes until 8 and I need to learn how to move things with my mind before your ride shows up.” They tapped their horn with a hoof. 

“I can help!” Maru agreed readily. “It’s the least I can do. It’s not that hard once you start to figure it out.” 

“Sweet. Y’know, Animorphs kinda got it right with their transformation scenes, honestly. Felt like I was living the book.” Ash cracked a grin, and Maru groaned internally. He knew that grin. “On the bright side, I can think of a few people who are gonna be sooo jealous.” 

“Ash, I forbid you from gloating,” he snapped. 

“Oh, come on! You know I gotta. Just think of the funny pictures I could send!” They pushed themselves to their feet, shaky, but didn’t fall this time. Maru propped them up against his shoulder, and despite their extra alicorn height, he was pleased to see he still stood shoulder-to-shoulder with the other pony. 

They walked through the apartment, still arguing as they left the sitting room and the oatmeal cookies behind. There was a lot to go over, but the evening was young. There would be time. In the end, the only true tragedy of their first ever book club meeting was that the book itself lay discarded, flatly undiscussed. As it turned out, fascinating as Animorphs was, there were several more interesting things to discuss that night.

[arlatius-art]

Please, tell me about your mage inquisitor! I beg of you!!!

OHHHH MY GODDDDDDD literally just finished writing his four page backstory doc about his circle life pre inquisition, but I'll give you the abridged version

but it's still very long so under the cut it goes

Theo was raised in a very andrastian templar family and was the only one in his immediate family that had magic. and since his family is so pro cop they send him to the ostwick circle and are like "it's ok Theo the templars are just there to keep you safe :)" and Theo's like "ok! :)" but woah!! actually the templars suck!!! in his early years at the circle he lost any belief he used to have in andraste (if shes meant to be a champion of mercy and freedom, why are mages being treated like this?) and starts to resent the chantry and all templars

a year or two after hes sent to the circle his cousin (Percy) is sent to the same circle, they're very close to Theo is THRILLED at the new company and tries to help make Percy's initial transition into circle life more comfortable. it doesn't work very well though! Percy escapes the circle but gets caught and dragged back by the templars. when Theo hears he completely panics and goes and begs the templars to not execute Percy or make him tranquil

it's a whole production, begging, crying, on his knees, but more notably it is so crazy out of character. the templars do end up taking pity on at least one of them, and let Percy off with a firm warning. it really didn't deter Percy from trying again though and Theo realized that begging for Percy's life wouldn't work a second time

so Theo starts tactfully cozying up to the templars, trying to build up a rapport with them in hopes that if Percy tries to escape again the templars would be willing to go easy on him for Theo's sake.

it starts simple with making a point to greet every templar by name when he sees them, and over time it slowly built up to the templars having Theo spying on the other mages when the templars weren't around. over the years Theo turned in dozens of would be escapees or blood mages to the ostwick templars. he didn't actually have a problem with people trying to escape or so blood magic, but he considered the mages he reported to be reasonable sacrifices if it meant keeping Percy and himself safe(r) from templars

but Theo being friendly with the templars didn't escape the notice of the other mages in the circle. he quickly (and rightfully) earned a reputation among the mages as the templars lap dog.

he especially made a point to endear himself to knight commander golan and knight captain gabriel (oc, the templar in that last piece). Gabriel and Theo would later start seeing each other in secret and it would be just the worst most destructive and unhealthy relationship in the history of thedas ever

his plan to call in favors from templars to keep him and percy safe worked too. Percy escaped from the circle a LOT and when he was inevitably captured and returned Theo could call in a favor from the templars to let Percy off with a very light punishment

when the mage rebellion finally reaches the ostwick circle Theo's like "oooh fuck all the mages hate me and the only relationships I have at the circle now are Percy and the fucking templars I'm so fucked". somehow he manages to convince Gabriel that he isn't involved with the rebellion at all and that he had no idea this was going to happen (by that point the other mages knew not to talk about secrets when Theo was around). heesves the circle with Gabriel and stays with him until the conclave

even after the circles fell he still wasn't free, not really. he had no confidence that the mages could actually win the war. even now that he was "free" he decided that he had to continue to endear himself to the templars so that they would be merciful when the circles were inevitably reformed

he's mentally stuck under templar rule, even if he isn't physically

also he's a recovering lyrium addict (Gabriel used to have Theo take it with him)