#I'll keep going

[womp-womp-waa]

When Aiden woke up in a hospital his first reaction was to panic. All it did was remind him of his childhood. When he was 13 his parents sent him away to a psych ward after he got diagnosed with depression.

For some reason their first thoughts was that he was a danger to himself. How could he be a danger to himself if he couldn't even get out of bed. All this reminded him of those horrid years in that hospital. All of the workers claimed that they were only trying to help him when all they did was make everything worse. Every single day he woke up in that place he wanted nothing more for it all to end. He wasn't a stranger to a routine, he use to just stay in bed all day, only getting up to use the bathroom. But that routine, that was hell. Maybe it was the lack of control that he had in there. Being forced to do activities with people when he didn't want to. 'It'll help you' they said 'Talking to people who share the same problem with you will help' it didn't.

Did his parents get sick of him again. Was learning about the phantom realm too much. Did they decide it was too much trouble to help him or did they think he truly lost it. Why did he have to be in a fucking hospital again?

His head snapped at the door opening as he backed away in the corner. No he wasn't doing this again.

[despair-tea]

I think I'm growing up alright. I'm gonna keep at it.

[lixzwithapen]

(Life's a game)

I fall deeper

Get weaker

I can't comprehend

There is no end

Life's a show

Hide your sorrow

Take your mind

Hide it behind

Facades of sanity

Lies of clarity

They musnt witness

The illness

I can't comprehend

Why we pretend

Life's so distant

It wasn't meant

For me or you

We know it's true

I fall deeper

Steeper

Am I even real?

My lips I seal

It's of no consequence

I have no sense

It's all a game

So hide the shame

Hide your heart

And play your part

[reysdriver]

reblog meme of the day because people want to enjoy the work of creators without supporting them

[sonibo1]

new music out soon.

[ringmasterblog]

Apparently, I have been on Tumblr for about 4 years. Wierd.

[lazylittledragon]

if i had a nickel for every au spawned from twitter that i SWORE i was going to be normal about

[circlique]

what if...asami...without her makeup? would you vote for korrasami then?

FINALS

[bigassbowlingballhead]

so i watched the first three episodes of the bear last night. I did not liveblog to be in it a little more.

the shots of the food, straight up pornography. Especially with Carmy's hands all up in the shot.

Sydney, she's everything. She's the smartest person in there and everyone should be following her lead.

Sydney and Richie in the car?? okay. I get it.

Matty Matheson i'm in love with you (genuinely the biggest smile came on my face when i saw him, i had no idea he was in this)

richie's kinda fine

i think marcus and carmy should kiss

Tina. I already know when sydney breaks through to her it's gonna be a moment

carmy and syd best besties i adore them

the bear in the opening confused the shit out of me but i'm starting to get it

why is jeremy allen white doomed to be hot in chicago let that man fly

[swampybogg]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Actually, the bars aren't so bad anymore.

Think you can fix him? Read about his care instructions over at Tiger Tiger)

[mejkosmos]

no because people never shut up about how bad bill fumbled ford which,,, okay valid BUT can we talk about how bad ford fumbled //FIDDLEFORD//?!? FOR A DORITO?!?!??!?

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

[kcdoos]

TILL DEPTH DO US PART - TEAM FUTURE!!!!! 💚✨

[yudol-skorbi]

i am at the point where if i dont finish now i'll newer finish so yeah the rest of the gaaaaaang

[vulpixelates]

i know it will never happen but i so desperately desire an origins-type playable backstory thing in all games but especially veilguard. i feel like it added so much depth to origins and made you feel instantly connected to your character in a way that gets lost in games like inquisition where you fill in the blanks as you go except for the bare basics. like, i do enjoy the freedom to willy nilly decide where a character was before the events of the story from a creative perspective, but the playable origins were just so good! especially when you go back to where your warden is from and can engage differently with the arcs there