#I'll just be rambling in my corner
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thinking about the dr3 anime yet again and I need to complain once more about that fuckass ending bc at no point was bringing Hope's Peak back EVER a good idea and I genuinely don't understand the argument that it was a good ending for the Hope's Peak Era. I really don't. In no world can I conceptualize this being a narratively satisfying ending
like, everything from dr0 to the second-to-last episode of the dr3 anime goes to such lengths to show not only that Hope's Peak as an entity had become corrupted, but that what allowed that corruption in the first place was the structure of the system in place. Imbalance from systemic structures allows for those in power to corrupt; that's such a major point of the series. The reason Hope's Peak researchers got cocky is because they saw the talented as having inherently more worth as a result of their talent. Hope's Peak, as it initially existed and was presented in THH, was to encourage talented people to enhance those talents and enter the workforce to increase infrastructure, but relying on these few talented people and building a society that depends on them to function created a power dynamic between the talented and everyone else that led Hope's Peak itself to want to increase that power, hence why in all future installations, it doubles as a research facility to try and breed talent artificially.
The moment where Hope's Peak went into a point-of-no-return was its nosedive into greed. It opened up a Reserve Course of normal students with normal teachers that received nothing special other than the Hope's Peak name, and charged a fuckton out of these students because that's all Hope's Peak saw them as useful for. They made that power imbalance that exists between the 'chosen talented' and the 'majority talentless' and exacerbated it for greed, so that they could lab-grow their own talents. But the reason it got to this point was because of the idolization of Hope's Peak as an entity, not in spite of it, and that's what I think DR3 forgot in its ending.
Yes, former students like Yukizome and Munakata did idolize it, because they were the chosen talented. They had nothing but good faith for Hope's Peak as an entity because they didn't have to see the harm it was doing to everyone else in the country that wasn't talented until the Tragedy began. Munakata's way of thinking is inherently flawed because he can only see his narrow-minded view of Hope's Peak-defined hope, and this should've been what Makoto shattered. But Makoto deciding to RE-OPEN Hope's Peak goes immediately against that, because all that does is continue to idolize the system as it existed. No, you cannot fix him(Hope's Peak)!!! The reason that it fell to corruption was because the way in which the system was inherently designed created an imbalanced caste system that the greed of the Steering Committee exacerbated. If Junko hadn't shown up, who knows how much worse things would've become? The second Hope's Peak generated artificial talent with Izuru, any shot of Sakakura's and Yukizome's infiltration doing anything to stop them basically died. All the Steering Committee had to do was unveil their little lab pet, and Hope's Peak's favorable reputation and government backing would've done the heavy lifting to move forward with the project. Building a second Hope's Peak in tandem with the first was never a good idea. It was only expanding the talent empire that Hope's Peak had started.
Idk, the anime bothers me in its insistence that "Actually, all the problems were just the individuals in power, it's actually just having the right person in charge and then all the problems go away!" very Harry Potter epilogue of you Danganronpa, nice FUCKING going with that one
#dr anime critique#dr critical#I love this series but holy fuck was that a bad ending#I'll just be rambling in my corner
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Batman #149 by chip zdarsky is mostly unremarkable, but I'm really fascinated by how it makes a great case for 'good' endings not saving 'bad' stories*. Because there's a lot of interesting concepts in this issue (bruce having to deal with his rapidly aging and decaying clone making him think about his own life, re-establishing a 'nest' so to speak for his family after pushing them away, etc) but bc of the OOC slog that came before it, almost every moment w/ the batfamily comes off as unearned and disingenuous imo.
Like, everything with Damian is the perfect example in this. Because in isolation it's...fine. admittedly it's a missed opportunity to not go deeper into how Damian would feel about a clone of his dad who tried to kill considering Damian's relationships with clones of himself (the heretic rejects and respawn) or with former enemies who wanted him dead but who were manipulated and/or brainwashed (like suren and maya).
Zdarsky doesn't go into any of this but you could maybe excuse it as the issue not being about Damian. However, coupled with the previous bizarre characterizations of Damian in 147 and 148, it ends up not being fine- instead it starts to feel...icky how Damian (who, despite often being drawn and written as white, will never have his connection to the non-white al ghuls forgotten and will always be effected by racism even when not portrayed as a poc) is constantly written as overly violent, uncaring and narrow minded in this run. Coupled w/ trying to recanonize the morrison origin for Damian it's like. OH this is badly written and laden with subtle bigotry, sick**
That's me going into detail on it with Damian but it's applicable to other things in this issue- the way Cass, Steph and Duke have all been ignored or turned into jobbers makes their inclusion in the 'family' here feel hollow instead of satisfying. Bruce proclaiming that Zur was still a part of him and he needs to accept responsibility for his actions (when it means taking in clone son) wrings hollow when just last issue zdarsky was bending over backwards to separate Bruce and Zur bc otherwise the Jason thing would get really awkward. Ends are achieved through means that feel hollow or strange. I'm at my destination but damn why'd the bus have to do all that???
I only really have opinions on this latest arc of zdarskys Batman bc it's the one I've read the closest (bc I'm a hater, masochist and avid follower of even the bad damian storylines) but it's not saying great things.
Bc zdarsky can do one thing good in this book, and it's write Bruce and Tim. And yet this entire story, whether of his own volition or editorial mandate, includes other characters who aren't Bruce and Tim, the fabric starts to unravel in very telling ways.
(p.s, I think pennyworth manor is an interesting idea but I feel like in execution it's just gonna be 'bruce living in a house haunted by the memory of the people he couldn't save' but with a different dead guy this time. Illusion of change and whatnot)
*whether or not the ending is good is up to you ofc, as is your opinion on the proceeding arc! I saw some ppl complain that the ending was too "WFA" for them, which I get even if I dont think it'll literally be the same premise. If anything it's probably a lead into the new tec run. Likewise many ppl who aren't in the weeds of Damian and Jason characterization liked the previous arc! But I have my opinions and rest my case before the bench
**disclaimer, I'm white and portrayals of bigotry in comics are complicated and subjective, but I am basing my point here off what other poc comic fans on socmed have been saying about 149. Also the "sick" is sarcasm incase that wasn't obvious
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#bruce wayne#uhhh. not gonna tag the others i dont have time#batman#idk if the zdarsky series has its own tag#anyway yeah. i saw some interesting discussions surrounding 149 and it got me thinking#the experience of reading the issue is inoffensive until i remember how we got here and then all of a sudden i start to feel downright evil#the bruce/zur separation thing pisses me off so bad. MOTHERFUCKER YOU WERE JUST SAYING LAST ISSUE THAT NONE OF IT WAS HIM#and maybe we were meant to agree w Bruce and not Jason in that issue but if that's the case. piss poor job demonstrating it#Bruce never really faces like. interpersonal consequences from the family that last beyond an issue#which is WILD considering the shit he pulled back before they knew he was having a menty b (mental breakdown for those who dont know)#the damian thing is just like. its such clear author bias in ways both lowkey funny and also. not funny. at all#i know a lot of ppl on here didnt vibe w/ batman and robin by joshua williamson but like#i cannot stress enough how he was one of the ONLY ppl in damians corner and now hes leaving that series#he says he approves of the new creative teams assigned but also they're his coworkers. so i dont trust SHIT until its in my hands#anyway one day I'll give a more good faith reading of zdarskys Batman and i do wanna read his daredevil some day#but as it stands he suffers from terminal ''has seemingly never read a comic not abt my special white boys and refuses to try''#which means everyone is going to have to suffer through my haterism#also sorry for no images. i really want to but i just don't have the wherewithal to do alt text rn
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I randomly felt like watching this edit again and ohh ... the feelings😭😭 This video basically carried me through my last semester and final exams at high school, I literally watched it multiple times every day (I swear a couple hundred views are from me alone), on the bus ride to school in the morning, when I got home again, before going to bed, just in between because I felt like it ... Internally I wasn't doing that well at the time, and it just brought me so much comfort. Also I'm pretty sure it plays a significant role in how I fell more and more in love with 2nd Dimension Heinz💕 This edit just means so much to me and I love it so much <3
#actually funny that I dug it out after some time of not watching it just now when the end of my study programme is around the corner#and I'm once again stressed as hell#but who knows maybe it works its magic and I'll ace all projects and exams and such again now#but even with out all that it's just really beautiful <3#the text makes me think of kind of a darker AU where Heinz being genuinely evil is a bigger plot point and Selina is worried about him#because he's becoming more unpredictable and extreme and she's torn because she wants neither him nor others to be hurt#but she also just loves him too much and feels herself drawn to him more and more and she can't help it😭#or something like that idk I'm just rambling incoherent stuff here#f/o: 🚂#2nd dimension doofenshmirtz#Youtube
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Might be a little radio silent today and tomorrow, but I'll be back soon. Gonna run off a queue & pop in and out. 💜
#i'll be okay...just not today#tw family death#it’s the day of the funeral and it’s been very difficult#I hate saying I’ve dealt with this since I was a child in my family#but it’s my husband’s grandmother who we were close with#I'm trying to distract myself the best I can and be there for him and make time for my own feelings too#but it’s shitty. the whole thing is#it wasn’t surprising but watching her slowly fade away hurt more than I imagined it would#i keep trying to tell myself i'm fine. that i can keep it together#my first funeral as a child was traumatic cause i didn't understand it and then it...just kept happening to our family#and her (my aunt) anniversary is in September#22 years and it still haunts me in the most bizarre yet beautiful ways#I’m rambling now. I know things get better and it just becomes something you deal with#it doesn’t mean it’s easy#my heart goes out to anyone who knows what I mean#I don’t even know if I know what I mean#sigh. if you read all this thank you and I love you#truly this little corner of the internet has brought me such sweet friends and i cherish you all. so much.#☆.queue
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I had a guy I have spoken to once (not a real conversation, just introduction basically) come up to me and be like "I'm gonna head out, gimme a hug" today and like. I KNEW that there are Weird Church Dudes like that but I haven't encountered one until now. awkward church side hugs ftw I guess?
#immediately mentioned it to an older friend (slightly older than my parents and recently married. she's the best)#and she was like. yeah that's. sure something#the guy is like... traveling tho and was just visiting so hopefully I'll never encounter him again bc I do Not like feeling cornered#(this occurred in an open outdoor area btw I was not ACTUALLY cornered and many trusted people were around#which is the only reason it didn't freak me out TOO much lol)#Lu rambles
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ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..
#ash rambles 💚#negative#part of it is definitely the weather#it's so dark and dreary and i never wanna leave my bed#but also just. my mood akdjajs I'm kinda down in the dumps today#im recovering from being sick which always fucks me up#and i just cant shake this feeling of anxiety..? and i feel kinda a lot like my f/os wouldnt like me or would fall out of love or never see#me as more than a friend and other stuff like that#i.. actually got broken up with yesterday irl!#it wasnt messy. he said that this isnt what he wanted and it was fine and we're back to being pals. i wasnt sad at all in the moment and#i dont think i am now..? it's weird. we were laughing like always literal minutes after having the chat. when we got together we said that#if things domt work out we wanna keep being friends. and we're doing just that. honestly i saw it coming and idek if i LOVE him anymore#what even does love feel like..? regardless I'm not upset or sad at my breakup since i saw it coming and I'm honestly happy he just. Talked#to me about it. we communicated and then three minutes later went back to talking about x.enoblade LMAAOO it was fun!#but it is ridiculous for me to expect to feel NOTHING at no longer being in a relationship. i cant just feel nothing. i dont feel sad per s#just... in my thoughts i guess? I don't think the feeling of my f/os not liking me stems from me being dumped though. i think thats just me#being me sjdjaksj I'm very insecure a lot of the time. i dont think being dumped helpd very much though LMAAAOO#I'm doing okay i promise. and I'll be alright. theres just both a lot and nothing going on at the same time and i feel... idk what i feel.#i hope my f/os love me 😭 i hope that a lot#and honestly i know this community is ass and I'm more than happy in my own corner with my couple of followers but. ngl I've really felt as#though I'm not valued here and all that junk as of late. yeah just.. i think everything is happening at the same time and I'm tired and#i feel like I'm a confused kiddo who doesnt know anything anymore BAHAHAHA#holy shit it just sounds like i need a shower and a nap huh- I'll be alright I'm just. dealing with stuff akdjsks but i also hate to always#bring the mood down like this! i always try my best to be haha silly and all that shit. I'm just gonna try to daydream about f/o cuddles#(and try to convince myself they dont hate me ofc)#oh and. i know i mentioned this but. i hate the weather. so much. I'm sad all the time. November is actually my least favorite month too 😭#I've gotta study a lot today and I'll try to sneak in some k.urohyou and hopefully start watching monster too but yeah i apolgize if#I'm acting off these days ajdjajs I'm very stuck in my own mind these days. not exactly the most fun place to be 😭#delete later#i mean akdjajs i literally started crying the other day because my friend said that my husband (k.yohei) loves me ajdkahdb come on ash..
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Me writing stuff for Exodus and looking at Saga and thinking, how can I make the windfish like cool and fit in universe
Fire eagle.
Fire eagle.
Big ol FIREBIRD THAT LIVES IN A VOLCANO
So, anyone wanna talk AU stuff with me cause i wanna talk about it ngl
#ramble corner with major#careful i might have to go on a rampage of bothering my moots#exodus AU#I'll make proper infomation later i just wanna ramble#theres saga theres tides theres the lon lon farm theres skipper theres the timeshift wars#ahhhhhhhhhhh#my au is consuming my thoughts
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Sometimes I think about how, back when the roster was much bigger, me and my old friend group all picked out WTL characters that we thought the others were the most like, and almost universally people thought Druid was the most like me. That probably should've been my first clue that none of them knew a single thing about me, but hindsight is 20/20
I also often think about how, after several days of going through things that had happened to me over the last four or so years, I was told 'You seem like a person who wants to be understood', and it hit me that until then, I had never met someone who ever really got me. Now that I have, I could never settle for less.
#for the record Sven is like two steps away from being my kinsona#like it's almost embarrassing lmao#i think between him and Leo (with his edits over the years) you can find 70-ish percent of what makes up me as a person#idk man I just. People think Im so aggressive and obtuse#and like. yeah when im backed into a corner im not the nicest#but i dont think anyone would be if they're in fight or flight mode and it feels dishonest to judge someone at their most vulnerable#but when im just like.... There and Alive and being my usual nerdy self#which is 99 percent of the time#i am just a Guy in a Room#and people assume the worst of me for it#like damn what about me is so evil and intimidating. please i want to be seen as soft and kind and genuine for once in my life#i wanna be able to express myself without it being seen as an attack or rude or aggressive#it wasnt until recently where i really started noticing this and by extension getting peeved about it#but i've been so mild-mannered and people-pleasing all my life because i was unknowingly compensating for how people view me#and even with all that bending over backwards it never worked anyway because I was still the weirdo at best and the aggressor at worst#And Im *tired* of that. I'm so tired of it.#I cannot in good faith keep trying to be this un-intimidating flower when people are only gonna see thorns regardless#nugget rambles#text.txt#vent tag#I'll go back to regularly scheduled shitposting soon#Also like clarity on Druid: I project some fears and traumas of mine onto him and he means a lot to me#but in terms of personality he is far nicer and resilient than I would ever be under such circumstances#Druid isn't me but he's someone I wish I had in my life when I needed it. He's someone I wish I could be
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It's Chews-day
*nomnomnomnom*
#digital art#mowmowmowmow#I think I'm gonna make it a ritual of me posting a low effort drawing of a character eating something every Tuesday#because it's chews-day#probably gonna add special effects and shiny stuff to most of them too just because it's SO FUN AAA#Idk what to make the tag 4 chews-day but when I think of something that doesn't give me immense cringe pains I'll edit the tag into this XD#nomnom ig lol#this is my online persona btw! I might make a cosplay of them one day but rn they're just a silly cartoon cat that's easy-ish 2 draw XD#my sona!#silly lil cat#idk presenting myself as a little creature online makes me feel comfortable :]#the kinda comfort you get from huddling in a little hidden corner for a nap as a kid#maybe I just like hiding. even though I can't do it anymore because I'll scare people#I miss hiding as a kid. nothing felt quite as secure as a nap in the closet.#repeating myself here and I think that = yapping/rambling aimlessly so Imma end it here :3#art#artists on tumblr
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Hmmm perhaps it is time to do something about the fact that I am still not registered for courses because the one that I had set my heart and soul on conflicts with one of my required classes and that was so upsetting to me that I haven't looked at the course registration page since November :')
#'sir have you tried having normal emotional responses—' NO I HAVE NOT THANK YOU#i want my class on rural spain with the cool professor who was involved with the 15M and who i made a complete fool of myself to#it's vital for my thesis i need to be in that class what if i sat in a corner and cried about it#i'm only just now realizing that i could probably have emailed him about this dilemma#but now we're like a week out from the beginning of the semester so idk man i guess i'll just Suffer#perce rambles
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i won't post it for now since i use real names in it, but i sent the website i made for one of my best friend's birthday to her and she liked it :)
#it was essentially just a birthday card/message spread throughout multiple pages but i did try my best to make it a little fancy#the 1st page had a bday cake image that bounced around the corners of the pg which glowed yellow & shook when u hovered over it. u had to#click on it to get to the next pg. and obv there was music#and i also made sure to make it look real pretty skdgjk#i had fun :] i'd never used the marquee element before so that was interesting too#ok that's enough rambling in the tags#mine#thx for everyone who gave suggestions! i'll probably use more of them for later gifts and when i get better at programming
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this project started because my brain was like "oh Spark's sticker (yellow team leader) has a really nice smile. :) ... nice smile = White HatOHCOME ON"
then i needed to see him in all the poses (in the blue team outfit for the rest because he'd be blue team)
#pokemon go#villainous au#heroic au#valorous au#<- that's what i call my AU 'cause it's a good cool word that's pretty close to the word 'villainous' and i feel clever#rexan's art#(so yes now we've got heroic & valiant & valorous [i'm the only one who uses valorous but#you'll need to pry that out of my dead hands i'll keep using it and anyone else can too i'll just be stubborn over here in my corner] )#heroic white hat#valorous white hat#I ACTUALLY SPENT SO MUCH TIME ON THESE PICTURES IT'S RIDONKULOUS#(but it was very fun and these turned out very cute so no regerts [sic] )#i think these were my first edits like ever. as in#actually tracing the source pictures. ...wait i made an edit for glistening-gay's Villatic AU characters. but i#finished these Pokemon Go pictures actually back in August 2021. (I KNOW. ALMOST TWO YEARS AGO)#(I JUST NEEDED TO ADD MY USERNAME AND I FINALLY GOT MYSELF TO DO THAT)#-checks date of Villatic post- ...AHA. THE VILLATIC PIC WAS MADE IN 2022 MORE THAN SIX MONTHS LATER. THESE *WERE* MY FIRST EDITS#all other redraws i've done have been eyeballed#...i think my tag rambling is done. ...okay cool yay i finally submitted these pictures to the internets! woo!!
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it's like. everything happens so much. it's all happening right now but at the same time nothing is happening whatsoever. it's a liminal space of an existence. it's slowly crushing me under the weight but when I look up there's nothing actually bearing down on me. there shouldn't be any weight. something is wrong but nothing has happened. I'm simultaneously overwhelmed and utterly bored. nothing is happening and maybe that's the everything that's happening. maybe the everything is the nothing. we aren't there yet but it's all so imminent. either everything is going to crash down or nothing is. I'm just waiting to figure out which.
#I refuse to be upset at anyone. I have so much love in my heart#but I'm going to pack formal clothes for my sister in my own bag just in case. she doesn't need to know that.#you couldn't pay me to care or to stop caring. it's cognitive dissonance#because I know this won't always affect me but it's my whole world right now#I say I don't care and I mean it but at the same time I care more than anything else#it's actually almost scary how much I relate to dark alley#not in a ''I'm in a mentally dark or dangerous place'' way but in a ''yeah I compare myself to others too much'' way#and then I try to make excuses so it can make sense to other people so they won't think the worst of me#like literally I'm trying not to think about fall but it's right around the corner and I'm. falling into it I guess#pun intended of course. I don't want to lose all my friends#I want to be one of the kids who gets invited to people's houses for lunch after church and I know I never will be#because that's the kind of thing that's only for the kids who are going someplace. not the ones who stay#I'm feeling very selfish and it's probably bc I'm tired lol this happens sometimes#I'm gonna make dinner for my family and then I'll feel better skskskskk#Lu rambles#sometimes I think I could write poetry#I feel like once my vacation is actually imminent I'll feel better I just haaate the point we're at right now#which is like. it's SOON but not THAT SOON so I feel like I can't do anything bc I'm just waiting for things to get going :/
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Y'know, I think where some of the major issues that I have with my art lately have at least in part come from my lack of like... doodling. I used to doodle all the time as a teenager, just characters and original species and shit, and lately especially, all my art is for commissions or final pieces or studies, and so little of goofy little drawings
#with a new job around the corner that pays more (plus no internet/little service) I'll likely be letting off on commissions for the season#i need to just doodle! it's too bad my interests are as hard to hold as the breeze#one day a character occupies my whole brain and the next I'm like. whatever. moving on#ANYWAYS sorry for rambling. i really should make a rambling blog but nah#i'm bad about updating blogs lmao
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I fucking HATE how the fandom treats m.ine. it's so bad 😭
#ash rambles 💚#so many shitty takes... too much time on twitter ruins a man#i hear one more person call him a crazy obsessive yandere and i think I'm actually gonna lose it#he's either portrayed like that or as one half of a ship#his actual character is lost on so many people because oOoOOoOOooOoO mInE wAs GaY#i dont doubt that he likes men. it's just that I've seen so many people be weird about it-#also. it's not fucking sexy to wanna kill your partner. a bullet between the eyes isn't an act of love.#I saw a tweet today about how m.ine actually wanted to kill k.iryu because he thought d.aigo liked k.iryu romantically#and m.ine only wants d.aigo to himself. and THAT'S why m.ine wanted to kill k.iryu.#let that sink in. 😐.#i hate how the fandom treats him SO MUCH#i will sit in my corner here. and i will kiss m#m.ine. and we will kiss a lot. and things are good. we are happy. we are far away from all of that.#I'm not saying every fan of his is horrible. I've seen a lot of great stuff and content! but holy shit I've seen some horrible stuff too#and it's hard to not feel like I'm doing something wrong by shipping with him. by loving a guy who the world has always hated.#and ofc I'm not! but still! even whenever i rb content of him here I'm always so afraid ajdhajsj#like ah yes this is the day i finally get cancelled on tumblr dot com for (checks notes) ... shipping with y.oshitaka m.ine??#I'm honestly afraid to take him up to being an official f/o ajdhajsb i think he'll stay in crush jail a little while longer..#i hate how the fandom perceives him so much!!!!!!! i also just hate the y.akuza fandom in general lmao#i do also like k.iryu so.. I've seen shit 😐#I'll delete this later but oh boy i am in a mood#and i know this isnt the first time I've blogged about this#and for that i do apologize. but i really do love this guy and despite wanting to look for content of him i always end up finding the most#infuriating shit!#i know he's done fucked up things. he's not a great guy. but! our relationship is built on mutual trust and i will NEVER write any of that#creepy obsessive shit that the stupid fandom always portrays him as doing! he's not going to kill someone for getting too close to me-#I'm just... upset- get behind me honey! I'll shield you!#and by kissing him I'm not brushing over any of the shit he does in the game. yes he beheaded that guy. yeah he slapped that orphan.#but i adore him and omg i hit tag limit... oopsie daisy lol sorry guys 😭 I'm really sorry for always talking abt this#you were beautiful 💸
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like the very mature adults we are, we basically avoided each other at work today and the only time we made eye contact was when we had to because he needed me to process something.
i'm going to corner him tomorrow and tell him to treat me like normal, act like i never said any thing, and warn him that if he calls me sweet again i'm going to gut punch him. he loses that word. i'll go back to being called cute and short, but not sweet. never again.
#i'll probably have to corner him when he's making food but i'm going to need to talk to him#i just do Not want to text him atm because then i'd have to re-read the rejection#and i cried four times in the work bathroom today. and in my car when i got home. and at my desk when i was alone#i'm not crying again today. i refuse#this man will not make me cry again. i want to go back to work friends.#char rambles
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