#I'll have a couple days off for my birthday but no money to do anything

[killerchickadee]

I really need a vacation. Like an actual proper week off work and go somewhere vacation.

Too bad I'm poor and don't have any vacation pay left.

[witchywriter18]

Raising children with Sebastian

This is a continuation of this headcannon list.

For some reason, I imagine Sebastian as a girl dad. Idk, he just gives off that vibe.

ANYWAY!

After you both get home from St. Mungo's, you promptly go pass out on your shared bed since you just pushed out a human being.

Sebastian on the other hand is wide awake, sitting in your rocking chair while holding his baby girl.

You're probably out for a couple of hours and wake up to find Sebastian still sitting there and holding your daughter, just staring at her while silently crying in happiness.

After a few days of settling in, your friends start visiting, wanting to see more of the baby and hold her.

Sebastian is very reluctant, not wanting his daughter to be held by anyone else but you and himself.

"Have you washed your hands? Did you wash them for 5 full minutes?"

Yeah, your friends basically need to be squeaky clean before they even think about holding your daughter according to Sebastian. You try to tell him that he's going a little overboard but-

"Overboard? MC, I'm not letting our daughter catch any germs our friends trek in from the outside world."

He can't be swayed. It's a full body scrub down or no holding the baby.

So I actually looked it up and breast pumps were a thing at this time (they were invented in 1854). So you make sure to pump regularly so that if you're not available, there's a supply of milk for Sebastian to feed your daughter with.

When Sebastian has to return to work after his leave, he actually considers quitting and being a stay-at-home father. He doesn't want to leave his girls 🥺

"Sebastian, we can't both be the stay-at-home parent. One of us has to be working and my freelance career doesn't provide substantial funds for us to be raising a family. Especially if we want more children after Anne."

"*sigh* Fine! I'll go back to work! But I won't like it!"

So he begrudgingly goes to work, pouting the whole time.

"Damn society, need money to function. I just want to stay at home with my wife and daughter but nooooo! Money is unfortunately needed to be earned to be able to live and support a family!"

"Um, Mr. Sallow? Maybe now isn't the time since we're currently on a potentially dangerous mission?"

Any enemies that get in his path are promptly eradicated in his annoyed rage.

As soon as the clock strikes 5 o'clock, he is out! Goodbye! Anything else you have for him can wait until tomorrow! He has a wife and child go smother in kisses!

"I'm home! Where are my beautiful girls?!"

It's like this everyday now. Pouty when he leaves, full of energy when he returns. Not always great when Anne is napping....

"I'M HOME MY LOVES-"

"WAHHHHH!"

"SEBASTIAN SALLOW I SWEAR TO MERLIN-"

Safe to say Anne is a daddy's girl. Not to mention she has Sebastian wrapped around her little finger. Gets that from you though.

"Sebastian, is that another stuffed toy? Didn't you already bring Anne one two days ago?"

"Yes but look! This one's a snake! I just need to find a badger one to go with it.... maybe just get one of every Hogwarts mascot."

Yeah, your daughter is SPOILED!!! She has to make grabby hands at something and it's hers.

There was arguing at who's name she'd say first.

"She's going to say 'papa' first, I guarantee it!"

"No, I think it'll be 'mama'."

"SNUFFLES!" *happy Graphorn noises in the background*

Did I mention that you take Anne to visit your beasts? You do and they're all so gentle and sweet to her. ESPECIALLY your Graphorn, Snuffles. He keeps his tail away from her though since it's spikey.

Once Anne is a year old, Sebastian is ready for another.

"Come on love, we agreed that after Anne turned one, we'd discuss about having another baby. Please?"

"Sebastian, it's literally midnight. Ask me again after Anne's birthday party. Now go to sleep."

Yes. Yes he did wake up as soon as the clock struck midnight on your daughter's 1st birthday.

One week later, you and Sebastian actually sit down to discuss having another baby.

"If you're going to put another baby in me, at least take me out to dinner first."

"Done. I'll go call Ominis and Poppy to watch Anne!"

"I didn't mean right this second!"

Is anyone surprised he got you pregnant again a month later? No? Okay then.

This time though... it's twins.

"Since I'm giving birth to two babies at once, you have to wait two years this time around before you even bring up the subject of more children. And I'm not making any promises."

Your twins are fraternal brother and sister. The boy is named Eleazar (after Fig 🥲) and the girl is named Áine (Celtic goddess of wealth and summer, name meaning "radiance")

When it is time for Anne to go to Hogwarts, both you and Sebastian are misty eyed. Thankfully for Sebastian's nerves, Feldcroft is a flooflame away if she needs either of you. Or if there's some boys he needs to scare away.

"No boys until I'm dead and buried, understand?"

Then once the twins start school, your little nest is empty until the holiday breaks or occasional visits. And Sebastian is suffering from empty nest syndrome.

"Darling. Since all the children are off at Hogwarts, I was thinking..."

"That you want another child?"

"Yeeessss."

You agree because you also miss your babies and want another one.

9-10 months later, you have another baby girl named Gwen.

Also, if it wasn't clear, every single one of your children has Sebastian's freckles. Your children look like a mix of both of you but they always end up gaining Sebastian's freckles. And his mischievous behavior.

"ANNE, ELEAZAR, AND ÁINE SALLOW!!! HOW DARE YOU SNEAK INTO THE RESTRICTED SECTION AND NOT CONSULT ME!!! IF YOU DID, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN CAUGHT!!!"

"Sebastian, that is not the purpose of this howler!"

"Oh, right. I mean, HOW DARE YOU SNEAK INTO THE RESTRICTED SECTION!!! THAT WAS VERY WRONG OF YOU AND I'M VERY CROSS!!! *quieter voice* I'm not really, your mother is just making me seem responsible. I am disappointed in you getting caught though. Remind me to teach you a charm next time you visit home."

[aylacavebear]

She Thought She was Normal

Story Summary: Maria really thought she was normal, for most of her life. It was normal for people to have natural talent, she would tell herself the older she got. Many things came easy for her, and that was probably how their rivalry began when she was five and he was seven and she met the Winchesters. Little did either of them know that it wouldn't stay like that forever, both having a far larger destiny than they could imagine

Word Count: 2131

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. Will eventually be 18+!

Warnings: Alcoholism, Hustling Pool, Injuries

----------------------------------------- Chapter 9

Maria spent the next three years traveling across the country, torturing numerous demons trying to get any information on the yellow-eyed demon that had taken her parents from her, but not one of them gave anything up.

Maria had changed the paint job on her father’s truck, her truck, to all black, wanting it to blend in as much as possible. She’d also given it a few upgrades over the years; better gas mileage and tweaked it so that it could go faster than it used to. She’d also installed a lock box in the bed of the truck where she kept her hunting supplies, as well as other supplies like spare clothes.

The nightmares had mostly stopped at this point, as had her grief. She hadn’t coped with it in the healthiest of ways, killing every monster she came across and finding solace at the bottom of a bottle most nights, whiskey her choice of numbing poison. Maria found that she had a knack for playing pool as well, eventually getting good enough to win games and become quite the pool shark. She used the money for motel rooms when she felt the need for a bed and a hot shower.

She’d found herself back in Sioux Falls, South Dakota one day in late August, driving with no particular destination in mind at the time. When she saw the familiar buildings from a life that seemed to have almost been a dream, she sighed as she turned down a side street, mindlessly heading to her Uncles, more muscle memory than anything. 

His place looked the same as she’d remembered it as she pulled into the driveway, turning off the engine. She hadn’t spoken to him since that night they’d burned her father’s body, the memory played in her mind for a moment of the night she’d driven away. A heavy sigh left her lips as she got out of her truck.

“Maria?” a voice asked from the doorway of his house.

She’d been looking at the ground, moving somewhat slowly when she heard his voice, “Hey Uncle Bobby,” she said with a small smile as she looked up at him.

For a moment all he could do was stare at her, relief, shock, anger, and curiosity all mixed in his expression. She was an adult now, twenty, and her birthday was only a few months away. She was in front of him, embracing him in a hug before he could even speak, “Sorry I never called,” she told him quietly.

“I’m just glad you’re okay, kid,” he told her, hugging her back before the two went inside, “How you been?” he asked.

They sat in his living room, spending the next several hours catching each other up on their lives over the time she’d been gone. He didn’t even mind her having a couple of beers while he drank whiskey. When she excused herself, he called John, asking him to pass along to the boys that she had shown up at his place and was okay. It was the least he could do, knowing they’d been just as worried as he had been. John thanked him and agreed before the two hung up. Bobby debated asking her about the book she’d taken out of his safe but chose not to. He had also chosen to keep the package that had shown up at his doorstep four months after she disappeared, a secret as well. The instructions stated not to give it to her until she was twenty-one.

“So, you get a new number?” he asked when she returned.

“Yeah. I’ll leave it with you before I head out tonight,” she replied, sitting down on the couch and getting comfortable again.

“You’re not staying?” he asked, sighing.

“No. Heard about a werewolf a couple states over,” she replied casually, sipping her beer.

“Can you make me a promise kid?” he asked, looking over at her.

“What’s that?” she said, tilting her head a bit.

“Will you at least stop by again, for your next birthday? You’ll be twenty-one. Least I can do is get you something,” he replied with a small smile.

“I don’t see why not,” she chuckled.

“Wish you were staying longer,” he sighed.

“I’ll try not to be such a stranger,” she replied, looking out into the room at nothing in particular.

“You still didn’t promise,” he told her, raising an eyebrow.

She looked over at him and rolled her eyes, “Fine, Uncle Bobby, I promise I’ll be here on my twenty-first birthday,” she said, slightly sarcastically, but had meant it.

That had at least made Bobby feel better. He knew she’d keep her word, or at least hoped she would. She stopped drinking once her beer was gone though, needing to sober up before she headed out in a couple hours. Maria enjoyed getting to catch up with her Uncle and was thankful none of the Winchesters were there, wanting to leave before they had a chance to show up, even if they had no intentions to. 

The two bid each other farewell before she drove away while Bobby watched her from the driveway. He could tell she had shut her emotions away and had pulled away from everyone she’d known, even after three years. She’d left out how she’d turned to whiskey most nights, drowning out the memories and the pain just so she could sleep without the nightmares of that week. She hadn’t wanted him to worry but had no idea he saw through the facade she had put on in his presence. He didn’t know the details, but he’d been through enough grief in his life to have an idea of how she was coping with it. 

She took care of the werewolf, barely breaking a sweat, but was glad she’d gotten a motel room for the night. It had been an easy enough kill but the blood splatter required a shower and a change of clothes. As she sat on the bed, brushing her damp hair, her mind wandered to Sammy and Dean for a moment. She hadn’t thought about them since that night. Her gaze fell on nothing as she remembered the two of them, briefly curious as to what they were up to. A small smile came to her face, thankful she hadn’t asked her Uncle for their numbers. 

“Another day, another dead monster,” she said quietly before heading to bed for the night.

Over the next several months, past the holidays and into the new year, she was still interrogating demons for any clue on the yellow-eyed demon. She wanted to know not only who he was but what he was, knowing he wasn’t a normal demon. Maria also took care of random cases along the way. Her phone though, had gotten destroyed on the last case she took, and that wasn’t the only thing that had taken a bit of a beating. 

She groaned as she pulled off her flannel, then her shirt, barely able to raise her arm high enough to get it off after fixing her other dislocated shoulder against the motel wall. Her other arm had a gash four inches long on it. Thankfully it wasn’t deep. She went to the bathroom to clean up her wounds. As she glanced in the mirror she noticed the bruise forming on her cheek and her split lip.

“Stupid demon,” she grumbled as she turned on the warm water and grabbed a washcloth.

Maria cleaned up her wounds before bandaging her arm. Her whole body was sore after that fight and all she wanted to do was sleep, not even having the energy to drink that night. 

Again, she’d lost track of time, completely forgetting her promise to her Uncle, following yet another lead on the yellow-eyed demon. Before she knew it, another almost two years had passed. She was twenty-three, only a couple of months before her twenty-fourth birthday, and found herself in Palo Alto, California. The drive she had been on had been a long one so she got a motel room for the night before heading to the local bar near the college. 

It was a Friday night and the place was packed with college kids, most of them around her age. She wasn’t paying much attention to any of them when she heard a voice to her left, “Sis?’

She felt goosebumps run down her body hearing that word before she turned to look at the man who had spoken to her. His hair was short, but also with a little length to it, and even with his age, she saw that little twelve-year-old boy in his eyes, “Little brother?” she asked, wanting to make sure.

He smiled and fought back tears at seeing her. There was no mistaking that jet-black hair of hers, even if it was longer now, laying over a red flannel, even if it wasn’t the same one from their childhood, “How have you been?” he asked, pulling her up and into a hug. 

She was a bit shocked at his strength and his height. He was almost a foot taller than she was now when he’d always been shorter than her before.

“Who’s this?” a female voice said before Maria could answer his question.

Sam let her go, and wiped away the couple of tears near his eyes as he put his arm around the woman who was now next to him, “Jessica, this is Maria, my little sister,” he told her.

Jessica smiled at her, “I’ve heard a lot about you,” she told Maria before she pulled her into a hug.

Maria was surprised but hugged the woman back, “Uh, nice to meet you,” Maria replied, before she pulled away from the hug, fighting all the emotions that had begun to surface.

Sam kissed Jessica on the cheek as Maria just watched the two of them curiously for a moment before the woman walked over to a group of people a few tables away, “So, how you been sis?” Sam asked her again as he sat down at her table.

“Uh, good…” she replied before she too sat down across from him and looked up at him.

“What brings you to Cali?” he asked her, sipping the beer he’d brought over with him.

“Honestly, not sure really. I was just driving and needed to stop for the night,” she replied, and glanced around the bar, looking for his brother and father.

“They’re not here,” he told her, figuring out quickly who she was looking for.

She looked back at him and tilted her head a bit, confused, “You’re hunting alone?” she asked.

Sam laughed a bit at that one, “I stopped hunting. I’m going to college to be a lawyer,” he told her, “Jess is the love of my life,” he added, looking over at the woman and smiling.

Maria glanced at her before looking back at Sam, “Well, you’re smart enough for it,” she chuckled.

Jessica gave the two space for the night as they caught up on each other’s lives. Sam explained that he and John had gotten into numerous fights over the last few years when it came to Sam wanting to go to college and stop hunting. It had eventually boiled over to where John had told him that if he left, he wasn’t to come back, and he hadn’t looked back, especially after he’d met Jessica, whom he called Jess.

Maria stayed in town over the weekend, hanging out with both Sam and Jess. It was a feeling of family she hadn’t had in a long time and the two easily slipped back into their routine of being siblings. Sam had explained that he hadn’t even spoken to his brother or father since he left. That had made her feel a little more comfortable about staying the weekend. Jess had taken several pictures with her phone of the two of them, and even some with the three of them. Sunday night had come too quickly for the three of them as they said their goodbyes. Sam made sure to write his number down for her and hide it in her glove box, even if she had programmed it into her phone.

“Hey, come back by around Halloween. I’m taking my tests next semester and it’d be nice to see you again,” Sam told her while she sat in the driver's seat of her truck.

“I’ll do my best, but I’m not making any promises,” she replied, chuckling a little.

“And next time, you can stay with me and Jess. She adores you,” he chuckled.

She rolled her eyes, “We’ll see, okay?” she replied.

“Yeah, we’ll see,” he said before she drove off, heading who knew where to fight god only knew what.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 10

Tag List: @deans-spinster-witch @kazsrm67

Link to the master list for this story.

[flutter2deceive]

Bitching about financials and job things under the cut

My company announced like 2 months ago that our jobs are being eliminated, but it's like this nebulous thing because they're outsourcing and we need to transfer all our products, so my end date isn't until 3/31/2026. Like that's so far in the future and I'm gonna get severence (at end date, i will have worked there for 20 years literally over half my life) + a retention bonus, so I'll be ok for a little while after the fact i think i hope

But anyway i decided to immediately start cost-cutting 2 months ago:

•canceled subscriptions (canceled hulu, paramount+ (i have a plex server hookup anyway), canceled ubereats (and also stopped ordering from them altogether), canceled or went down a level on my minimal patreon subs)

•signed up for Shell's rewards system (it's literally free and you save at least 20cents/gallon every single time and sometimes more without having to spend any money you just click a button and boom extra 10cents if you fill up on a specific day.)

•haven't done *any* fun online shopping or regular store shopping for that matter

•severely cut down my fast food spending (i'm sorry taco bell ily), and as my friends are in similar financial woes, we've stopped ordering food every weekend and opted to make cheap dinners where we each bring some small component like 1 brings pasta 1 brings sauce 1 brings garlic bread

•this isn't a recent change, but i never go out anywhere for like drinks or to see local comedy shows like i used to frequently do. I'm a homebody who goes into the office twice a week and goes to my best friend's house on saturdays and just sits at home the rest of the time

Even with all that!! My debit card is at $26, my 1 credit card is $3 away from its limit, the other is $21 from its limit. I *thankfully* get my paycheck at midnight, but like... woof!

Last paycheck i was down to less than $100 the day before as well. It's so mind-boggling to me that it's this bad. Partially because I've had some unfortunately-timed plumbing issues and had to pay a pricey deductible (but glad i have the insurance obv cuz of how much the total cost would've been otherwise.) But also partially cuz i feel like shit is so much more fucking expensive than it's ever been!! And the last gallon of milk i bought and properly refrigerated went sour like a full week before its expiration date.

I have a decent job and make pretty good money (for now at least.) I have made several cost-cutting measures recently. I feel like I don't *do* anything. And it literally doesn't matter!!

My best friend who has an equally comfortable job told me he had about the same amount of $ as me to last him til his next paycheck too.

And on top of the financial stress, i am so fucking stressed at work because no one knows what they're doing and i keep getting roped into things at the last minute with an IM that says "hey got time for a quick call?" And then i end up having to put together a complicated spreadsheet that is needed by end of week. Why didn't you fucking ask sooner than 2pm on a thursday?! Oh cuz someone who will still have a job at the end of this didn't do what they were supposed to? Ok sure I'll get right on that. And I do. I do get right on that and have it back to you within a couple hours. Because i stupidly care about my job.

Ugghhh i hate everything atm... Except i was able to livestream my favorite singer Terri Clark's debut concert at The Ryman tonight. And i have a ton of Fran/CC fanfics queued up to read. And the Ghosts discord is constantly coming up with the cutest scenarios for H$, my current otp. And i am off the entire next week because next Friday is my birthday. And my dog is snoring.

So i guess it hasn't been such a bad day after all, Charlie Brown... or some such sentimental nonsense 🙃🙃🙃

[sketch-guardian]

I might do asks publically now that I feel a lil more comfortable using tumblr but I also might use anon since it’s Less scary so this is kinda like a test for the moment!! :))

Is it okay if I ask for the classmates (old and new) with a mate who they find out is like a prince or princess later on in the year?? I don’t know the gender neutral name for it other than monarch which seems very vague.

Aw don't worry, do what makes you feel most comfortable, either way is okay☺Your ask is perfectly fine✨I'll do my best to write some good headcanons💕(I don't the neutral term either honestly😖but at most we can say MC is part of royalty🤷🏻Also, I apologize if I didn't reply immediately🙈):

"RAD CLASSMATES+NEW EXCHANGE STUDENTS WITH A ROYAL MC"

DEMYA

Demya was born into a tribe of bloodthirsty demons with cannibalistic tendencies and now she's the last still alive of that lineage, having been driven to extinction. Demya wouldn't know if she could be considered a specimen of an endangered species or even a princess of a lost kingdom, either way she would still find herself fantasizing every now and then. Demya would probably be a bad influence for royal MC, especially for their etiquette, in fact she would enjoy being rebellious and breaking certain rules together with royal MC. Demya would notice that royal MC has obvious advantages over others, especially on Earth, regarding privileges or favors, she would especially appreciate the delicious food they can afford and would ask if going to restaurants and showing off as a couple would get them a discount (no, she's not taking advantage of their status, she would do it even with a non-royal MC, maybe pretending that it's their birthday or that they're getting married just to get a free dessert, she's a menace after all-). In general Demya isn't used to luxury or being spoiled, however she wouldn't mind being doted on by a royal MC

DOMNRA/MOBIM

Domnra has never shown too much interest in wealth or anything similar, he's used to a fairly simple life and when he was a warrior angel before his fall from the Celestial Realm, he was more used to following orders rather than issuing them, however he could not deny that more money would certainly be useful to him. Domnra would be stunned the first time he found out about MC's royal status and flabbergasted he wouldn't be able to stop himself from calling royal MC quite a dumbass, because of all the people they could have had or chosen, they chose him, terrible taste in his opinion (self loathing much?). Domnra would be pretty sure that his demon nature and thuggish attitude wouldn't do much for MC's royal reputation, he can only imagine if anyone found out, but he would appreciate royal MC's willingness to take risks for their relationship. Domnra would not be the type to let royal MC spend a lot of money despite their availability, in fact exasperated he would scold royal MC for spoiling Mobim with lots of toys and cutesy clothes, even a small crown to make the little curse feel important

AZUL

Azul, despite his occasional mood swings, lives his life quite philosophically, lightly, so while he would be surprised at first by MC's royal status, their relationship wouldn't change much aside from a few jokes or humorous requests. For example, every now and then Azul would pretend to behave like royal MC's personal butler, imitating Barbatos, for shits and giggles, or he would ask royal MC if he could come to Earth one day to haunt their castle or mansion, because it would be hilarious to terrify visitors, he would then sulk at his request being denied. Either way, Azul would become royal MC's personal artist and make paintings to hang in their home or even sculpt statues of their image in all their glory, he would be honored to be able to immortalize his lovely star. Azul would also be charming enough to sway the attention of media from royal MC, if they needed a break from duties and expectations, his magic would come in handy too

ZURI

Zuri was used to noble treatment when she was still an angel, however it wasn't a life that suited her, she felt almost hollow in that period, because the admiration received was not due to her merits, but to the role she filled. Currently, as a demon, her reputation has been earned through her efforts and work, so Zuri feels more accomplished and proud of her position. Zuri would perceive MC's royal status rather quickly, even before their confession, especially due to their manners and etiquette, which would result obvious to her. Zuri would prefer to be seen as an equal by royal MC as she would do the same, also thanks to her bearing, Zuri would make royal MC look good if seen in public by paparazzi. Given her rather refined tastes, Zuri and royal MC, at a ball or at a Lord Diavolo's event, would draw everyone's attention with their best clothes and jewels, arousing admiration and envy, not that the couple would take any notice, as they would only focus on themselves. Royal MC might even be tempted to call Zuri a queen, while she would softly scoff with a subtle amused smile. Also, Zuri would offer to become like a sort of seamstress for royal MC, should they need one

ODON

Odon, as an eldritch horror, has not experienced what people would call luxury, they don't exactly have needs to satisfy in order to survive to begin with, so all activities Odon would try to do, would be simply for the pleasure of experiencing new things. Furthermore, in the past, when Odon was young and essentially devoid of any kind of empathy or emotion, they lived in a dark and damp cave, where they could shift into their true eldritch abomination form undisturbed. After their change of ways, Odon has moved to a wooden cabin in the outskirts of Devildom, near the woods, it would almost resemble a haunted house, but it's cozy and the only thing haunting that place would be Odon. Odon would find the idea of royal MC wanting to be with a demon like him rather curious and endearing, a love story between a monarch and an eldritch horror would certainly be a tale worth telling, otherwise they would simply be content about being accepted for what they are and would do the same for royal MC. One of the advantages of being with royal MC for Odon would certainly be having access to the best tea around, especially green tea, as it's their favourite, while royal MC would be able to find rather ancient and rare books in Odon's possession, moreover they wouldn't need bodyguards thanks to Odon's eye-like creatures around, royal MC wouldn't have to worry about being attacked, because any threat would disappear before they even realized it (don't ask what happens to those criminals-)

REMIEL

Remiel has lived for most of her youth in isolation, as her race, half-angel and half-nephilim, would be quite discriminated, so she may have some trouble understanding at first what royal MC means as they explain their lifestyle and status, however with a little help, she would be able to associate royal MC's status with high-ranking angels' one and consequently understand royal MC's situation a little better thanks to the practical example. Honestly, Remiel wouldn't mind MC's royalty, as she would love them either way, after all it was their pure bright soul that intrigued her in the first place, however Remiel would be curious to discover royal MC's personal experience, through stories and photos, the angel of death would also be interested in learning about their family tree, as hers is also peculiar, albeit for other reasons. Remiel would be confused but flattered by royal MC's thoughtfulness in providing her with a spring big enough for both preening and cleansing her wings, as the angel of death would need a large space to spread her wings, a simple tub wouldn't be sufficient and a huge bed would be ideal for resting, which royal MC would beg Remiel to do, since she would deserve it. Even experimenting with tailor-made clothes to leave room for her wings would be strange to Remiel, as she has always owned the same black robe, however it would be a nice new experience that she would enjoy. If royal MC's castle had a mausoleum, they might see Remiel perching on a high place, almost like a gargoyle, while watching over them

NATHANIEL

Nathaniel in the Celestial Realm is seen as a sort of advisor, a mentor that many turn to for advice or wisdom in times of need, it can be exhausting, especially for Nathaniel who isn't a talker, however at the end of the day, doing something good would be worth it and being of a high rank can come in handy when needed. Honestly, Nathaniel's reaction to finding out that MC is royalty would be a shrug, meaning he wouldn't care, not in an offensive way, it's just that he'd be fine with anything, ultimately he's chill like that. Their relationship wouldn't change that much, maybe Nathaniel and royal MC would see each other slightly less often due to their duties, however they would find moments to share together and spend alone, possibly in peace, for example spending a day sharing a picnic and then watching the sunset in the middle of nowhere, with the sound of water and animals in the background, then waiting to see some shooting stars. That would be a nice break from their busy schedules, although royal MC would be pretty sure that Nathaniel would be more busy staring at them with a dreamy gaze rather than at the view

URIEL

Uriel, as a warrior angel, is of a fairly high rank, but not enough to take irrevocable decisions or give certain orders, in fact she wouldn't be allowed to speak freely with the Celestial Realm council, she would first need permission or to be convened by the council itself. Uriel has never been interested in earthly politics or humans in general, so she would be a little perplexed by royal MC's kingship, but she would rightly guess that they would be in a position of power compared to others, a bit like the celestial hierarchy, a detail that would help Uriel understand royal MC's situation better. Uriel, though she wouldn't mention or admit it, would be honored to have been chosen by royal MC as a significant other, even though she would probably seem more like their royal guard in their company. Uriel would ask questions about how royal MC's family came to hold such a position in society and if there were ancient armors or weapons in their castle, Uriel would look at them in slight awe. If royal MC joked about a relationship between a monarch and their knight being a fairly recurring theme in romance, Uriel would say that their case is different and that it would be inappropriate anyway (royal MC must not be fooled, Uriel would blush under her wings-)

[chryza]

you keep mentioning making money off of games like hsr but how? im dying to know

All right I'll make a proper post about this lmfao. May I present

The Invalid's Guide to Making Money Off Mobile Games

(Please note I'm using my affiliate links, so if you click through and join up I will get rewarded at no cost to you.)

The primary way that I make money is through Swagbucks. (I also use Inbox Dollars, but I tend to use Swagbucks more for different deals. They're both owned by the same parent company.) Swagbucks is a survey website, but they also offer affiliate deals with mobile games. For proof that I'm not grifting, here is my profile.

Each swagbuck (SB) is a penny, so 100 is a dollar, 1000 is 10 dollars. As you can see as of posting this, I've earned 121, 297 SB or $1,212.97 since I started in January. I play various mobile games for a few hours every day, but I took a break for about a month and a half since I was getting burned out. I cash out to Paypal usually, but you can get a bunch of different gift cards, it's nice to be able to directly get people gift cards for their birthdays through the website.

There are a ton of different offers to choose from, from various sponsors of varying levels of credibility. They'll offer to complete different checkpoints within the game for SB within a certain amount of time.

When I'm looking for an offer to start, I'm looking for a few things in particular. The amount on offer has to be worth my time. Usually, I'm looking for offers in the $40-$150 range. Anything above that is likely to have a catch, require massive amounts of in-app purchases to complete, or is downright impossible. I always consult the swagbucks reddit to check out offers beforehand, so I don't waste my time. I also consider the time investment I'm putting in. Usually 1000 levels of a puzzle game for $35 is the minimum I'm looking for. For idle games, I'm looking more in the $50 minimum range.

This is one of the offers I'm currently working on. (the game is Klondike, for $110 total offer)

Typically with an offer in this range, I know I'm going to make a few purchases. I always try to go for stamina boosters on the cheap. I've spent about $5 so far and I'm only a week into this and already about 1/3 of the way done. I log in multiple times a day since I am, as I've stated, disabled, so I have the freedom to do so. If you do not have the ability to be so on top of things, I recommend looking at the second to last goal point, and making that your target.

Other offers are like this

(This is Ant Legion, a game I've played before). As you can see the amount on offer is significantly higher. $340 to be exact, though keep an eye out for things like "purchase X"--typically those are 1:1 rebates, so you get a boost for free. With these types of games, you're going to be making substantially more in-app purchases. When I try this offer, I'm going to budget about $40-$50 so that I'm still making a profit of about $285. Understand that there is risk involved--if I spend that money and I *don't* make it all the way to 31 in time, I'm SOL.

Swagbucks also offers gambling games. Just stay away from those. I did one and spent about $70 to make a profit of about $150, but none of it was from the app itself. They're predatory and meant to funnel in-app purchases, though again, check the reddit. There might be a couple that are legit.

Typically with Swagbucks, I like to be doing 3 offers at a time--two idle games, and one puzzle game. I'll check my idle games throughout the day to make progress, and sit and binge the puzzle games to get to the level checkpoints (Usually about 1000 levels, which isn't as bad as it sounds.)

Before I get into the next section, this is very important, please listen to me.

If you cash out for more than the minimum threshold for taxation in your country, you will owe taxes on the money you make.

You'll need to do research for your individual situation. For USAmericans, the threshold is $600. I budget about 10% of that to go into taxes, and I have a spreadsheet with receipts for in-app purchases which qualify as business expenses in this case. Here is the SB page for more info.

Next, I've just started using Mistplay after being bombarded with ads about it. generally, I like it. I'm also not saying that it's possible to double-dip SB and Mistplay rewards, because I would not do that because it's against terms and conditions, but it might be possible (though I definitely don't recommend it).

Mistplay works differently in that it offers 'units' for playing games for a certain amount of time. I've earned about 500 units in a day playing mobile games for a few hours, and minimum cash out starts at $5 for 1800 units. Overall it's a nice system that allows me to make money on more "fun" games that I'd otherwise be playing anyway without making money, such as for instance, Honkai: Star Rail which I'm planning on starting tonight. And if you do join Mistplay, this is my recruit link ;).

Overall tips:

be prepared to watch ads. I have my shit set up on multiple devices, I have a phone and a tablet with different games on each and I usually have ads going on on one screen while I'm playing merge what the fuck ever on the other. That's how they're making the money to give to you, pussy up etc.

It does take some dedication to rack up big numbers. I consider myself on a fairly relaxed grind and usually play mobile games for about four hours a day. You can try out your limits and whatnot

RESEARCH. you can download a game and test it outside of the SB tracking to try it out, or check out the subreddit. Mucho helpful information.

IF YOU DO AN OFFER and it DOES NOT TRACK CORRECTLY do not panic. Complete the offer to the best of your ability, take screenshots, and use the SB help center to request your missing SB credit. They usually get back to me within a business day with my shit in pending.

It's a slow crawl to victory. You'll be like "i am not making fucking ANYTHING." and then the next week you'll be like. pending for $100. Be patient.

Check out the other shit on the SB and Inbox Dollars websites. I occasionally do surveys for over a dollar (though I use Forthright for surveys because overall it pays better for my time.)

Good luck gamers!

And. Please don't like. blow me up about this being a scam or whatever? I see people press x to doubt but the proof is in my bank account. Or well. My medical provider's bank account now because I've been using the money to slowly pay off bills.

[toomuchracket]

I have a few birthday imagines that go round my head all the time. The first one being that reader has a 'normal' job, and Matty is in the band. It's coming up to his first birthday as a couple and she starts freaking out because what do you get someone who is able to afford anything he wants to buy. Anyway maybe in the end she makes him something? It would be all about the sentiment with Matty I think, so either something personal/homemade or maybe she plans a day for them doing all of his favourite things :)

Equally when it gets to readers birthday, Matty wants to buy her everything she's ever shown a slight interest in but he also doesn't want to overwhelm her, especially as she keeps reminding him not to go over the top. Maybe he remembers reader completing Charli's perfume one time so he sneakily asks her what fragrance it is then buys it for her. And I like to imagine he'd take her for a fancy meal out aswell, somewhere better than she's ever been before, maybe a fine dining restaurant.

my love @throughthepostmodernlens has a lovely fic quite similar to your first request with the day full of his fave things, but i'll discuss a lil bit too!

like you said, the man has enough money to get whatever he might want or need, so it's a total struggle to buy him a gift, especially because you're somewhat more financially limited than matty - he's hyper-aware of that though, and of the fact his taste is so diverse that planning a gift for him could be overwhelming, so he's very like "you don't need to get me anything, sweetheart, all i want and need is to spend the day with you". and that's cute, it really is, but you'll be damned if you're going to let your boyfriend's birthday go without a gift from you. and again like you said, i think matty would so appreciate sentiment over monetary value, being gifted something personal. i'm obsessed with the idea of you and matty having your own little book club, where you take turns to pick a book then read it independently and discuss it over some wine (and a joint, if that's your thing), and i think you'd maybe do gifts relating to that - you're always ranting at matty for dog-earing the pages of his books to mark his place, so maybe you get some bookmarks made up of your favourite pictures of the two of you and put them in his gift. matty's also the type of boyfriend who's just obsessed with hearing your thoughts at every second of every day (i fully believe he's the type to be like "so what are you thinking rn" at like 3am when you're trying to get to sleep lol), so you gift him your fully annotated copies of the books he's recommended thus far for your little book club (with little dedications to him at the start of each one), and that way he can spend hours reading the little scribbles verbatim from your thoughts about something he's personally recommended to you because he thought you'd like it :((( you put those in a gift bag with a lovely bottle of wine and a bunch of flowers and some chocolate (and maybe a little bag of weed too lmao), and you bake him a birthday cake, and head over to his house on the morning of april 8th. and matty's so happy to see you on his special day, and also slightly exasperated about the fact you got him a gift when he told you it was unnecessary - you shut him up with a kiss and tell him to open it. he's touched when he sees the homebaked cake, impressed when he sees the wine and chocolate, giggly at the weed, blushy at the flowers, and deeply overwhelmed and emotional at the literary gift. matty's a little confused at the books ("they're the ones i chose for us to read?") at first, until you tell him to open them. when he picks up the first one, one of the bookmarks falls out of the front cover, which sets him off already because "that picture of us is so cute. like look how pretty you are"" (which makes you blushy), and then when he flicks through the pages and sees your annotations he fully cries like "i'm getting little glimpses into your brain oh my god i fucking love this i love you i love the way your brain works" (then because she goes vibes actually). and that's just on the first book! matty gets so much more emotional with every book he picks up - he insists on doing this even though you tell him its the same idea for each - and you physically have to climb onto his lap and hold his hands to stop him just sitting and reading them for the whole day. but yeah - lots of teary kisses from matty, telling you this is the best gift he's ever gotten and he's so grateful and he just loves you so much and you're the most brilliant and beautiful and kindest person he knows, before he pulls himself together and you guys have the loveliest day.

and yeah, matty would be a bit of a nightmare on the lead-up to your birthday - he spoils you at the best of times (when you let him), simply because he's a simp (lol) and he loves you and wants to treat you well, but you make a point of sitting him down and looking him dead in the eye to tell him to keep the gifting lowkey. and it's hard for matty to not immediately pull out the credit card as soon as you offhandedly mention you like the look of something you saw advertised or walked past in a shop; you notice this about him quite quickly, so i think you'd drop subtle (and not-so subtle) hints about what you really wanted for a good while before your birthday. going with perfume, mentioned in the ask - while you're out for george's birthday, you really loudly compliment charli's perfume while matty's in earshot, like "i'm almost out of my favourite one, i'll need to buy more soon haha!", and matty hears and he's like "ooh i could get her some for her birthday!". and he makes a point of looking in your room to see which one you wear, but you have a couple on rotation and he has no idea which one you mean - matty's undeterred, though, because it means he has an excuse to come up and kiss your neck as you're getting ready for dates like "god, you smell amazing. what perfume is that?" and you're like fuck yeah he's got the hint "it's a dior one!" and tell him the name. on your birthday, you're surprised when matty hands you a dior-embossed envelope rather than a gift bag, and ready to yell at him when he says "look, sweetheart, i know this is a bit more money than you're probably cool with having spent on you, but i think it's something you'll love" - you open it to see an invitation to their selfridges boutique for a vip fragrance creation session, aka you getting to create your own personalised perfume. and while yeah you're utterly aghast at how much this is probably costing matty (he will not say), a) he looks so excited to be gifting you this opportunity, b) the thought of creating your own perfume with the brand you wear daily has you GIDDY, and c) it's actually a very thoughtful gift and you know fine well a single bottle of dior collection privee fragrances can last for a decade because they're so pure, meaning it's actually economical of you to do this, so you don't complain. instead, you give your boyfriend a big kiss and say "this is incredible. thank you so much. i love you!", and matty exhales and reciprocates the affection. and you both have a lot of fun at the dior boutique while you create your own scent, and also in matty's bedroom when you head back to his after dinner (which was in the literal fanciest place of all time, it was incredible), because the perfume you've come up with is so irresistible to matty that he actually cannot keep his hands off you at all (another bonus of that gift) lol <3

[miyazaki-division]

The day was slowly coming to an end in Miyazaki on a certain shrine maiden's birthday. The birthday girl was currently relaxing in the living room when Kyoko heard someone knock on the door. Walking over to the door Kyoko opened it and to her delight revealed a certain socialite from Shizuoka. 

"Happy Birthday Dear," Reika smiled, looking stunning as always with a couple of gifts in her hands. Walking inside the house, Reika hugged the shrine maiden gently, making sure not to disturb the gifts in her hands too much. 

"I would've come sooner but something came up in Shizuoka that I had to deal with. Now then I got you a few things for your birthday." Reika carefully placed the gifts on a nearby table and passed one of them to Kyoko. 

The first gift was a pair of black Louboutin heels. Thankfully the heels were quite small as Kyoko wasn't sure if she could walk in the six-inch stilettos that Reika wore daily.  

"Haha! Don't fret Kyoko. I made sure to get you the ones with the smaller heels as I'm well aware that you don't often wear them as I do." Reika laughed, picking up the second gift and passing it over.  

The second gift was one that had Kyoko choking. It was a beautiful necklace and earring set made of genuine diamonds and pearls. Kyoko almost didn't want to touch it, afraid to damage it in some way.

"Now every young woman should have their jewelry so that's why I bought you your first set."  Reika giggled amused at the look on the shrine maiden's face. 

"Now this gift I'll admit was a bit unexpected," Reika said, opening the final gift herself and gently pulling out what was inside. 

In Reika’s hands was a baby fox sleeping away. Careful so as not to wake them, Reika placed the baby fox in Kyoko's hands. Kyoko could barely hold back a squeal at the sight of the sleeping creature. 

"I found them a couple of days ago. They were in my garden thankfully I discovered them before they could get closer to some of my more dangerous plants. I tried looking for their mother but sadly no luck. I was a bit stuck on what to do. I couldn't keep them because I knew Kiyohime would try something. Then I remember that you had experience with foxes. So I'm leaving this little one in your care." Reika explained, scratching the fox's ear. 

Suddenly a loud honk was heard that had Reika rolling her eyes and Kyoko nearly jumping out of her skin.

"Tch. That's Sakura. She and Kanon are in my car out in front of the shrine. Remember what I said about something coming up in Shizuoka? A group of people was foolish enough to try something on Sakura's territory. Now she's on a warpath and let me tell you that is something you do not want to be on the receiving end of. We managed to track them to somewhere in Miyazaki. I barely managed to get Sakura to let me stop by here first to drop off your gifts but it seems like she's getting impatient. Well, then Kyoko I have to leave now. It seems like there are a few people…whose life spans are going to be cut early. I'll see you soon." Reika gives Kyoko one last hug before walking out the door. 

Just as she opened the door to leave another loud honk was heard.

"Sakura! I get it! You're pissed! Take your anger out on those bastards when we find them! Not my car's horn!" 

Kyokos eyes lit up at the sight of the woman- her favorite big sister! The fun big sister even.

“Big sis~ so good to see you!”

She was well aware that money wasn’t hard for Reika to come by. She wasn’t expecting gifts like these however.

Kyoko had never owned anything so extravagant.

“Hey at least I’ll finally be a little bit taller!”

She couldn’t help but fawn over the little fox- a new friend for Mochi to play with!

She was a little sad to see Reika go so soon, stepping out the door behind her she gave a small wave to the other two ladies in the car.

“Bye everyone- have fun tearing those fuckers to shreds”

[taegularities]

i think i included this as an option last time and you picked the other one so i'm throwing it in again lol say drabble for the first time they slept together at that party? 🥰

fic: songs about you

pairing: fwb!tae x reader, childhood best friends to lovers; fluff, smut warnings: sexual tension, unprotected sex, manhandling, rough sex, fingering, crying, big dick tae, masturbation, drunk and bathroom sex (i seem to love that), they're also so cute :((( wc: 1.7k a/n: awh i remember that it was one of the options 🥺 and you know i love that couple so much, i'll keep coming back to them <333 btw ari, please tell me why this almost made me cry lolll. this took ages omg... also, unedited !!

ask my character! <3

"You remember when you'd invite me to those events during senior year?" you ask, closing your tired eyes for a moment.

Taehyung is as gone as you, perceiving his surroundings in a neverclearing blur. He looks at you with confusion in his starry pupils, and hums, "Hmm?"

"You'd take me to those parties, and I'd hate it here."

"Still hate it?"

"Despise it. You rich people spend money on parties that no one will remember."

"Ouch," Taehyung jokes, "it's not like I'm the host. No need to diss me."

"Well, your eighteenth birthday party was a lot more fun when we went to that burger place. The official, fancy one? Eh."

In your head, your speech is clear, but you bet that you're mumbling and swallowing words; not that it's any kind of challenge to him. He'd understand through your movements alone.

"Tell me then," he says, the tone of his voice shifting. His eyes are dazy, and his breath smells like bitter alcohol. "What was so great about the burger night?"

Your and Taehyung's friendship dates back to an easier time. When you'd gather with your friends, hunched over your homework and projects. Living through high school days, complaining about its pain as though no bigger issues existed.

Back then, you guess they didn't.

Taehyung liked to play the piano to you. The feeling that engulfed your heart back then, listening to every gentle note he gifted you, was still a veiled one.

Today, things have changed. Realities have shifted. Maybe you're not head over heels in love with him – maybe – but you still know what lingers in your heart.

And the inebriated version of you has a lot less inhibitions; a lot less fears to voice her mind.

So you say, "It was just us. You and me. The entire night felt a little different, you know? Maybe because the diner was empty that time..."

"It was empty. I liked it, too."

You move a little, though you soon realise that you shouldn't have – because the world is spinning.

"But it was the first time that I really hoped for you to kiss me."

Wait. What?

Why are you saying that? For fuck's sake.

"Kiss you?" Taehyung asks. When you look at him, his forehead is wrinkled in confusion.

Oh God, what have you done?

"I'm sorry," you hurry to exclaim.

"No, I... wait, tell me more about this."

"...Why?"

"I just. It's not every day that your best friend says anything like that."

"It's so dumb. I know, it's really fucking stupid."

"No, I..."

He gulps. Looks around. The guests are busy conversing, fake laughing, stepping onto their own dresses, discussing whatever the party's purpose might be.

But Taehyung's focus is somewhere else.

Which he proves when snatches the glass off your hand, placing it along with his own on a nearby table.

And then, he's pulling you away from the crowd, somewhere where none of you will be missed.

Your heart bursts behind your chest, hand clutching his in anticipation.

"What are you doing?" you inquire, slower in your heels than him.

"You just..." he shakes his head, whispering your name. Halts when you reach the bathroom, rushing to open the door and pull you inside. "You can't say that and expect me to stay calm."

"Why are you... not ca–"

"I–" He's breathing heavily, blinking slowly. Holding you against the door, not entirely sure what he's supposed to do.

"Why did you never tell me about that?" he prods.

"I... didn't think it was necess–"

"It's important. Of course it is."

And that's all you get. There's no more chance to say much more; the palms on your waist silence you.

So does the way he pins you harder against the door.

And so does the plush mouth that falls on yours, hard and greedy.

Whatever you thought how this evening might evolve... that wasn't it.

The following minutes, the entire night pass in a dense fog. You barely breathe – he doesn't let you.

He explores your body. Kissing up and down your skin. Sheds your clothes, touches every part that you need touched. You've dreamed of this before.

You didn't think it'd actually happen. Ever.

"I've fucked so many women, wishing they were you," he admits at some point, fucked out and drunk beyond belief.

Until now, most of his and your utterances consisted of moans, each others' names, crude curses. Until now, you blamed the booze, the effect it has on you, the craze that flows through your veins.

But the way he's looking at you now... despite his lewd statement... it's something else–

"Have you?" you want to know; a tight knot builds in your tummy.

"This is unreal."

"Tae..." You squirm in his grip, gasping when curled fingers press against a spot inside you. "Fuck me, please. No more wishes... I'm here now."

"Are you sure? God, I..."

"I am," you promise immediately, "I am. I... thought about this a lot." He stares at you in silence and tenderness. Like he can't believe what you're saying. "And besides... I've always wanted to be the one to wet your dick."

Taehyung chuckles, a deep, soft sound directly from his chest. He looks sweet like that, but when his lips return to your neck, his demeanour changes.

Buried in your skin, pecking your shoulder, he guides his cock to your clit. He doesn't do much yet – except for the torturous teasing, rubbing the head against your nub, toying with your patience.

And when he's had enough, he leans back.

A strong hand turns you swiftly, pressing your cheek against the door and pulling your ass back until you're angled. Palms firmly against the door.

His length continues to prod your entrance, never quite shoving it inside, no matter how wet you already are.

But he breaks. Of course he does.

You hear him spit into his palm, and close your eyes in anticipation, taking a deep breath before he finally gives in.

You saw his member just a minute ago – if it's anyhow as menacing as it looks, you're screwed in the best way possible.

Quite literally.

"Careful, yeah? You'll tell me when it's too much?" he says. His voice is strained. He's heavy breathing.

"Mhmm..."

And that's when you mewl.

Louder than before, shaking in your spot.

Taehyung is quick to slap a hand against your mouth, muffling your sounds as he dives in inch by inch. "Nod if you're okay."

You do. Though you can't suppress the constant moans that fall out of you. And he makes sure to silence that sound.

There's something about it.

Having your best friend and long-time crush fuck you against the door. Thrust into you gently first, before he picks up on pace and rails you into oblivion. The way he's controlling you and your undying moans, hand never leaving your lips.

The tears that escape your eyes fall on his fingers, and when he notices the sensation, he tenses. "You good?"

You nod hastily, sure that your make up's smeared. God, you'll need to leave after that.

"Good. Holy fuck, that's hot."

Which is when you realise that he didn't tense solely because he was worried.

But because he's enjoying your reaction.

Of course he is. Kinky bastard.

"More? Harder?"

His suggestions come broken, every other syllable swallowed. Fuck, he's battering your pussy. Ruining you, slamming his hips against your ass.

Shit, how did you get here?

You nod once more, and he laughs, presumably surprised that he's still not pushed you to your limits.

Delightful.

So he drills you rougher, burying himself to the hilt, balls deep inside you; breathing hard, losing his mind when your fingers shift to your clit.

A minute later, you're coming undone – swaying so hard that you reckon you must be moving in circles, until you realise that it's just in your head.

Mind empty, you let the high ebb down; he’s still fucking you, chasing his own release, guiding you through your orgasm.

And when he pushes in one last time, remaining in you with his entire cock buried, you think you’re dreaming.

The deep, reverberating groans of his are insanely dizzying. You can’t do this. You can’t– how did you–

You didn’t know. You didn’t know that intimacy with him entailed all that. Where was this insanity all your life? Why didn’t you reveal your thoughts to him earlier?

Fuck.

“How... was that?” he dares to question.

“It was...”

“What you imagined? What you wanted?” There’s cockiness in his voice. But somehow, there’s worry, too. “Better... worse?”

“It was– just right.”

“Okay. Good.”

He remains in the position, leaning in to kiss your shoulder, your back, your arms. Then, he pulls out, immediately backing away to grab some toilet paper. He cleans you up; you wince.

And then, he says, “Look at me.”

You turn around; the ache between your legs is too tangible. You’ll feel it harder tomorrow, you know.

Still swaying, you slip your eyelids open. Gaze into his; there’s affection and post-coital bliss in his stare. Something you can’t decipher as he brushes your hair back.

Thumbs wipe the remnants of your tears away, hopefully clearing your cheeks of the make up.

You don’t know what he’s thinking until he claims, “You’ve always been so pretty, Swan.”

Your eyes widen; you put your palm on his hand, lifting it to your lips to plant a gentle kiss on his skin. “And you, Tae.”

“Do you wanna leave?”

“Yeah,” you answer, no hesitation in your words. “Please.”

And so you do.

Goodbyes are uttered in a hurry, the car ride in some cab a faint memory.

At his place, you fall into each other deeper. Kiss every inch of him, hugging him close, moaning the night away.

To you, this is still just a drunken night’s mistake. You’re sure you’ll talk about it in the morning. Think about the next steps in your relationship.

You’ll wonder what the hell happened, and how a single confession could lead to something this big.

You won’t know that it’s the beginning of something you’ll never be able to fathom.

Or that there’s unbearable pain ahead. Joy. Lust. Love.

Or that you’ll become his song; the very last he’ll ever play on loop.

–

i’ll edit this later, but oh my god i hope it was okay !!! some quick smut :’) lemme know what u think <3

[imaginationofomi]

Come Together

Thirty-Seven

It was perfect. Or at least it looked perfect. It certainly looked better than the picture on the website where she'd found the recipe.

Nayeli made hundreds of desserts in her lifetime, but the cake she baked for Isaiah's birthday was something she hadn't tried before. Home cooks and some self-proclaimed chefs wrote of how similar it was to rum cake. While the baking process had similarities no matter the flavor, she found that the only thing Guyanese black cake and rum cake had in common was alcohol content.

While a batch of infused whipped cream finished up, she packed the cake into a box and snatched a few crumbs for a taste test. To her, the cake was amazing, but she didn't know what exactly it was supposed to taste like, if all the flavors that were supposed to be there popped out, if it tasted anything like his mom's. Some recipes were personal, and she likely had a few secret ingredients. Nayeli did her best. That was all that mattered.

She put the whipped cream in a separate container and pulled her hairnet off as she walked out of the kitchen. "Grace, hold down the fort. I'll be back in a few hours," she said, heading for her office so she could grab her purse.

"Got it, Boss."

Danielle click clacked away on the keyboard, wireless earbud in and closing out an important conversation. She bid the person on the phone adieu and stopped typing as Nayeli picked up her handbag.

"We need to talk when you get back," Danielle said, face neutral.

"That doesn't sound good."

"It could be good. It could be bad."

"Just tell me now." Nayeli didn't want to deal with the anticipation while she was with Isaiah. She would be worry about what could be when she was supposed to be thinking about him.

"The owner is selling the building. The block, actually."

"Shit. It's almost time to renew our lease, too." She was a glass half full kind of girl, so she wanted to believe that the new owner wouldn't come in and try to force everyone out by hiking up the prices. However, the world was a selfish place, and most people were looking to make a dollar no matter the cost. They were already in a high rent district. Luck wasn't likely to be on their side, "Can we afford a rent increase?"

"A small one. Anything more than 4 percent, and we're toeing a very dangerous line."

"I have cushion money if we need it." EJ kept her pockets padded while they were together. Between never letting her spend her own money and the weekly allowance, she had a fat savings account tucked away for emergencies.

"Hopefully we won't need it. The weddings are keeping us in good territory."

"They're going to slow down after October. We have time, but we need to figure something out before then."

"We will. There's no doubt in my mind. You go do whatever you were doing. I'll come up with the first game plan, and we'll talk more when you get back."

Nayeli was worried, but not too worried. God hadn't failed her yet.

Being that it was early afternoon, she got caught in the lunch rush traffic of people heading back to their offices and other places of employment. It wouldn't have bothered her if she wasn't trying to make it to the fire station before they were called out.

She noticed an uptick in first responder presence, not unusual in the middle of fire season, but the last time she visited, she'd only seen her Isaiah for a couple of minutes and her dad for about thirty seconds before the alarm sounded, and they were called to a fire started by a fallen power line.

That day, she found favor. The garage doors were open when she pulled up and parked. A couple of rookies were cleaning hoses while a few more checked the trucks for what needed maintenance. She greeted who she knew by name, waved at the others and walked inside. The reception desk was empty, and people were scattered around. She dropped the cake and whipped cream off in the kitchen and found Isaiah in the day room with Tommy, Marshall, and Andrea playing Mortal Kombat on a PS5.

"Nothing but a bunch of big ass kids," she laughed as Marshall put his hand in Andrea's face to block her vision. They cursed and protested along with Tommy when Isaiah paused the match and got up to hug her, "Happy birthday!" she said loudly and grinned up at him.

"Thank you, Lil Bit." Their hug was longer than normal in the presence of his colleagues but still too brief for her. Outside of the station, they never held back. She was worried about her dad inserting himself into their business, but with EJ permanently out of the picture, the hard questions she didn't want to answer were obsolete. And she was sure people were catching onto them anyway.

"I left a surprise for you in the kitchen." Ignoring the stares of the other firefighters, she tugged him along and unclipped the tabs on the plastic cake holder. She lifted the top and presented it to him, "Tada!"

"Is this....."

"Guyanese black cake. You have to tell me how I did. I've never made it before." He smiled at her, nodding slowly before he closed his eyes and rubbed them. Nayeli panicked and touched his arms as he started sniffling, "Oh no. What did I do?"

"Nothing. I haven't had it since my mom passed." Tears made his eyes red. He wiped his face with his t-shirt and pulled her into another hug, rubbing her back and pressing repeated kisses to her forehead, "She made it for me and my dad all the time."

"I'll make you one every year until we croak," Nayeli promised, not caring if anyone saw her kiss him, "Wait, taste it before I agree to that," she said, breaking off a tiny piece because the whole thing was potent with liquor. She fed it to him and waited for his reaction. His eyes bugged then closed. He reached into the container for another piece, "I did good?"

"You did amazing. Thank you." He held her neck and brought his lips down to hers again. Rubbing her cheek with his thumb, he looked into her eyes and said, "I love you, Nayeli." She knew it to be true, but she was stunned all the same. She recovered quickly, opening her mouth to respond when a loud alarm halted their conversation. There was an apartment building on fire, and Isaiah jumped into action, "I'll see you tomorrow." He kissed her quickly before he ran off to do his job.

Nayeli stood in a daze for a minute, cheeks aching from grinning. To love and be loved. That was what life was about. She lost a lot in a short amount of time, but she would always be a lover girl. It was just in her.

Closing the cake box, she labeled it as Isaiah's along with the whipped cream and left both in the refrigerator for him. The streets were less crowded on her way back to the bakery, but the line inside was long for the time of day. She said hi to a couple of her regulars and went into her office.

Danielle worked nonstop in her absence, and Nayeli felt even less worried once her plans for the potential future of the business were laid out. Danielle had excellent ideas and even started shopping for locations with a similar amount of foot traffic in a decent price range. Push came to shove, they were going to be okay.

The afternoon wound down, transitioning into evening. Nayeli would be the last one out that day. She hadn't closed the store herself in a while, but she wanted to get some things done and let her employees go early.

She checked inventory, added up receipts, closed out the register and started deep cleaning behind the service counter. Making it a once a week task kept the work from being too hard or time consuming, but no one enjoyed moving or taking apart machines to clean them. She put on music to help her along, and it drowned out the sound of someone walking in but not their voice.

"I was hoping you were still open."

"We're not. I just forgot to lock the door." She didn't have to turn around to know who was there with her. That voice soothed her so many nights she knew it like the back of her hand, "There's nothing in the kitchen, so you can go," she said, lowering the music to pay better attention to her surroundings. She still had her back to him, but she could feel that he hadn't moved, "I don't hear you leaving." No footsteps then, either. Sighing, she turned around to face her troubles that weren't supposed to be troubles anymore, "What do you want, EJ?"

"To apologize," he said. His eyes were tired, shoulders slumped. Even with a fresh haircut, it was easy to tell that he was going through it.

"I don't really care to hear your apology but thanks. You can go now." She pointed to the door only for him not to budge.

"Tati misses you."

"I wonder why."

"I'm sorry."

"That's all you have to say? Do you even know what you're apologizing for?" she asked.

"Being a bitch," he answered her, "Wrong is wrong, and I know I'm wrong. I was pissed off, same way you would've been had I brought some bullshit about an open relationship to you, but that had nothing to do with your relationship with Tati. You mean a lot to her, and I know she means a lot to you. I shouldn't have lied to her, and I shouldn't have cut you off from her."

"She must be giving you hell." Nayeli laughed humorlessly, pushing the cappuccino machine back into place.

"She is, but that's not the point. I spent all that time talking shit about Savannah not wanting to be a parent and fucking up Tati's head, and my actions weren't any better. She's down two moms because of me. I need to fix that."

"I'm sure your next girlfriend will be happy to take on the responsibility. Just warn her you like to snatch things when you get mad." It was good that he finally came to his senses, but she didn't appreciate the way he handled things. When he said what he said to her at the pier, she expected that to be the last time they had any type of contact with each other. She wasn't down for anything else at that moment.

"You really have changed," EJ said, tone laced with disappointment, and it made her angry.

"Why wouldn't I after being traumatized by one man that I loved and shit on multiple times by another? Why wouldn't that change me?" she demanded to know.

"You used to understand that people fuck up. You didn't write them off because of it."

"You see where all of that got me. I've been passive my whole life. People have walked all over me my whole life. I didn't write you off until you decided that I didn't deserve to be a part of Tatiana's life because I asked for something you weren't even willing to discuss. I'm finally standing up for myself and setting boundaries and suddenly I'm in the wrong? I'm no longer the meek little woman that holds her tongue and accepts everything so now I'm a bad person?"

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. Your tone said it all. I'm not reacting the way you want me to, and you can't stand it. Well, none of what you are going through is my problem. You made sure of that," she snapped and turned her back to him once again.

"Alright, I get it. We're not cool anymore."

"Glad you got the hint."

"Tati wants to see you." His audacity truly knew no bounds.

"No."

"What do you mean no? The whole point of me coming down here was—"

"To try to manipulate me. It's not happening. I don't want to see her unless you have your shit together," she started, "She needs to know the truth. You need to explain that we are not together and will not be in the future. She should understand what that means, and it might change her mind about wanting to see me. If she's okay with it, I want something in writing because you're not going to use her as a pawn. She doesn't deserve to be jerked around whenever your feelings towards me change. If you can't give me paperwork, leave me out of it. It was hard enough saying goodbye to her the first time. I don't want to have to do it again." Some would consider her demands unreasonable, and she was counting on that this time around. Whatever would get him to leave her alone.

"I hear you. I'll take care of it, butI don't like this side of you."

"I don't like what I've seen of you either. You hurt me intentionally. You've thrown what you've done for me in my face when I never asked for any of it. You pushed for me to be a parent and then decided to erase me from the picture. Over and over again, you made a choice to show me that you never truly loved me. I am tired, and you have disrespected me for the last time," she stated firmly.

"You got one thing wrong. I do love you."

"How could you? What in your actions screams love?"

"You're not the only one that's hurt." He dodged the question.

"I'm very aware of that. We haven't been able to address how you were feeling because.....oh, right. You were ignoring me and treating me like shit when you did acknowledge me. Instead of talking about your feelings, you just reacted. You're two for two at this point."

"Third time's the charm." He tried to lighten the mood, but her face said everything that didn't come out of her mouth.

"My mind hasn't changed."

"I never thought it did."

Her phone cut into the conversation, and she enthusiastically answered the unknown number so she could have a few minutes of reprieve from EJ.

"Hello?"

"Nayeli? it's Jessica." Her voice was shaky and worried, never a good sign coming from the wife of a first responder.

"Hey. You don't sound so good. Is everything okay?"

"It was bad today, it was so bad. They thought everyone was out, but there was a boy trapped inside and Isaiah went back in. He got the boy out and then the roof collapsed on him," Jessica rushed out. Every inch of Nayeli's body went cold.

"Please tell me he's not dead," she whispered, her eyes sliding shut as her heartbeat slowed.

"He's in the hospital. I don't know details, and no one knows who to call for him. Tommy said you guys are close and he needs someone there for him."

"Text me the name of the hospital. I'm leaving now." She hung up and abandoned the cleaning supplies, pushing EJ toward the exit.

"Hospital?"

"This does not concern you at all. Out." She forced him through the door and locked it, running around to turn lights off and make sure other doors were locked before she hopped in her car and followed her GPS to the hospital.

She stopped at the desk to grab a visitor's pass and get the information she needed.

"Hi, I'm looking for Isaiah Patton," she said, trying not to sound too panicked.

"Are you immediate family?"

"He doesn't have any immediate family. I'm his girlfriend."

"Name?"

"Nayeli Gallagher." A woman that was passing by stopped when she heard her name.

"I'll take it from here, Jocelyn," the nurse said, leading Nayeli away from the desk, "He asked for you after he came off the anesthesia. I'm Camille, his nurse. He's in recovery, pretty banged up, but he's okay. There's a lot of bruising. The worst of it is the broken tibia, but he's already had surgery. I'll let his doctor know that you're here."

"Thank you."

"Are you planning to stay the night? I could have a cot brought out for you." 

"Yes, please." Nayeli made the decision to stay before she even made it out of her car. The light in his room was on, but when she first opened the door, it looked like he was sleeping. The creaking made him open his eyes, and she smiled at him, "Hey," she said softly, walking up to his bedside and sliding her hand into his. He had a few cuts on his face, a bruise near his temple, right leg in a cast.

"I didn't think I was gonna see you until tomorrow. Your dad said he didn't want to worry you."

"It's okay. Jessica called me, and I'm glad she did." Bending down, she kissed his lips and leaned her forehead on his. "I am so happy to see you alive and breathing. When she told me the roof collapsed on you, I thought the worst."

"I'm okay. I've broken bones before. Sorry I ruined our camping trip, though."

"I don't give a damn about a camping trip. You're okay. That's all I care about." She kissed him again and exhaled slowly. "I love you, too," she said, heart swelling when his face lit up, "You had to go before I got the chance to say it back."

"Tell me again."

"I love you."

He grabbed her face weakly, groaning in pain as he slipped his tongue past her lips. The nurse told the truth about him being banged up, but he would suffer through all the pain in the world for the woman beside him, "I've been hoping to hear you say that for the last seven years."

"Get ready to be sick of hearing it."

Reality hit her that day. Every time he went to work, his life was on the line. She thought she understood that having a firefighter for a father, but a new level of fear was unlocked. She couldn't ever allow him to leave without knowing that he was loved and cared for.

"I'll never get sick of it. Come here." He scooted over to the best of his ability, leaving some room for her to climb into the bed with him. 

She hesitantly walked around to the other side, "Are you sure it's okay? I don't want to hurt you. Your nurse said you were bruised." 

"You weigh two pounds. I'll be alright. I just want to hold you right now."

Climbing into the bed, she kept most of her weight off of him, lightly placing a hand on his chest next to her head. She could breathe easy knowing he would live to see another day, but she worried about the next time she would get a frantic phone call.

[josiebelladonna]

okay. so, how my "summer vacation" is going to work is like this:

it'll be from memorial day to labor day, akin to how summer vacations used to go from decades before. all the times i'd hear my parents talk about me and my generation basically getting ripped off from summer vacation growing up as it would start in the first week of june and go to sometime in the middle of august: i have a friend, her daughters started school august 1 some five years ago. barely a vacation for anything, and it kind of makes you realize that you never hear about summer camp anymore.

i (mostly) sign off everywhere but here. i say "most" because i've got notifications switched on for certain people on instagram (alex, eric, testament's official page, nate, matt, joey, krista, jeff/possessed, friends i've made over there).

but i'm going quiet on facebook starting memorial day save for a couple of groups, a private food group that i'm part of with my dad, my stepmother, and their friends, and believe it or not, but the one 90s alt rock group that isn't batshit insane: i won't post on my story or share anything on my tl. i'll just post the rest of my mermay around the world drawings on memorial day and bounce. not that anyone's going to see them, anyway.

i'll be deleting the threads app from my ipad on the 31st, or when the dublin prompt goes up.

i won't reblog anything here on main but i'll be on my art blog, the fic blog, and my cooking/baking/food blog. i blocked all the palestine-related/anti-israel/antisemitic tags on here a while back but i'm really going to be blocking them now (fuck you idiots, seriously; this is #1 reason why i'm doing this, i cannot take any of you and your toxic waste. really, does it feel good to be wallowing in lakes of your own feces as you're erasing history?).

as time frees up, i'm going to be writing and making art a lot more, just like when i was in the dark for nearly 2 years from 2016 to 2018. i made so much back then, and i'm looking forward to doing it again for the summer.

i tried doing this back in january, to go quiet for the entire year of 2024, and i couldn't do it. it started with the permanently vacant look on alex's face, to the point it actually had me worried and... cracking my knuckles, too, and then my mom got sick and i realized i couldn't afford to not stay quiet.

now, it's like: you tried to take my mom from me, you tried to take my dad from me, you broke the love of my life's heart by taking his dad from him (and i'm trying so hard to not let my imagination run wild because i have seasons grey for that), you tried to take my house, you took all my money, you're trying to take my animals from me, you completely shattered the relationship between my mom and my brother for literally no reason, i found out my brother's abusive and likes to demonize me (he actually said to my mom "i won't give hannah money if it's going to enable the two of you". "enable". he thinks that we're drug users. plus, he made it all about himself when the entire point of gofundme is bring everyone into the fold; he's more delusional than the pro-pal people) and a monthly drawing challenge i used to love has become the biggest crock of shit. i need a fucking vacation.

"i need a fucking vacation" was the sentiment that started all of this. i wasn't able to go to monterey this year for my birthday because of my mom's blood clots + the property taxes. all of 10 people sent me a birthday wish (and i used to get dozens, too!), and in fact, i'm lucky to get any interactions anymore and it's at the point now where i start to wonder "what the hell is even the point?". i started the gofundme after my birthday and it started the chain reaction between my mom and my brother. it all started with my birthday.

well, no, it actually started further back than that. it started with kinktober 2023, the thing that just about killed me. feeling vulnerable (and not in a good way) and exposed. feeling like i was doing something wrong for writing things that are *supposed to be* erotic when the whole already-fractured world began to fragment even more. feeling like i was doing something wrong for participating when i should've made my raison d'etre all about the i/p conflict like everyone else (that's the other thing i despise about pro-pal people, aside from the fact they've traded their swastikas for keffiyehs: the guilt-tripping). feeling like i was doing something wrong for writing things upwards of 3k words when others were doing drabbles and involving "you" and being the artist, i couldn't help but compare myself. feeling like i was doing something wrong for craving things that stimulate the senses and to fucking hell with being simply horny. feeling like i was/still am doing something wrong for being attracted to a guy whom i never met, lives thousands of miles from me, is with someone else (who i really don't like, don't trust if it saved the world, and don't understand the appeal of), and probably wouldn't like me if he got to know me personally, either. my ben shepherd era left some particularly deep scars on me. feeling like i was doing something wrong for having different kinks. the fact the sheeple were flocking to just one person didn't help, either (i also admonish this with the organizers of mermay, too, the honestly gross way they flock to adam_is_arting when... he's really not that good? it's competent, but that's about it. it looks like the work of every other artist on instagram right now so i really just don't get it). "they're the sexy ones, not me."

if you're going to support someone and their openness i'd say with their sexuality, do it for other people trying to do the same thing. you might *think* this isn't a competition but your playing favorites tells a different story.

your playing favorites and leaving those whom you claim to support behind in the weeds tells my lizard brain that it is.

it really doesn't feel like there's any room for me and no one will be honest about it. it should make sense that i feel my mental health beginning to slip.

my birthday was kind of a catalyst.

...

i need a fucking vacation.

[nathank77]

5/4/24

10:33 p.m finished at: 11:08 p.m

So I slept really well. I fell asleep in like 30 minutes or less. I got really high before bed and obv took my xanax. Was it the weed or being over tired from only getting 4 hours of sleep the other night? We will see. I slept for 4 hours, woke up peed and then took a Benadryl. I took a couple to a few hits and passed back out. The Benadryl was a just in case. I woke up once more and passed back out. Then I woke up at like 3:30 I think.

I've been smoking weed all day and having a red bull day enjoying bully. Idk if the weed is making it worse or better or the same. I've been more positive and calm and I've been more relaxed. I've been convincing myself the hallucination is murmuring or something, incoherent things that sound like what I'm either thinking or random things. Last night it said carnegie hall. So that's not positive or negative or anything? It was neutral.

I mean at one point yesterday I felt like it was getting worse but I was really tired. Today seems about the same as any other day but I mean its hard to tell. I got to see what sleeping is like on a day I got like 8 hours. Just using Xanax and getting stoned before bed.

I mean we will see and we will keep tracking the hallucination and slightly the mental pictures... I'm trying not to ruminate on it or negative things. Cause that doesn't help its obsessive in nature.

My new obsession is trying to control the hallucination by convincing myself that it's so indiscernible that it either sounds like my internal monologue or it sounds like nothing but a weird ahh or incoherent sounds. We will see how it goes.

Sleep really does matter cause if it can fix it then that would be great but if it has little to no effect then it isn't worth the money...

Especially if it could worsen the hallucination. However I'll keep myself busy and keep trying to think its indiscernible and try to change my inner monologue that's been effected by hearing the same phrases for months on end despite the fact that like yea I can still hear birthday present or happy birthday but Maybe I can convince myself that most of it is indiscernible. Especially my dead name and bussyunt... use your imagination that was changed to bussyunt from pussy cunt.... but that happened months ago with the voice when it was more intelligent...it helped me...

So now I'm trying to help myself and change things to indiscernible noise or my monolgue or random neutral shit.

We will see. I know one thing, I could backtrack a bit but it won't be significant. It won't be like October all of a sudden.

So I'll take it day by day cause it would be nice to get off xanax ALTHOUGH maybe that's not possible...

Xanax stopped the mental pictures with auditory hallucination thing. It hasn't happened since I started taking it..

Let's say my hallucination stays the same or gets marginally better and I'm sleeping great and falling asleep easily....

Let's say that I try to get off xanax but- those mental picture with auditory hallucination thing happens again... I'll stay on Xanax until the day or even months after I stop hallucinating assuming I ever stop. I'll stay on Xanax forever if I hallucinate forever just to stop that mental picture/auditory hallucination trauma.

I do keep seeing weird specks out of my peripheral vision, that's a little new.... but not really it was happening months ago... but I'm trying to stay positive. It's rapid and disappears... but I did get enough sleep last night. I'm a little worried. I wouldn't say it happens often but maybe a few times today, maybe 4 times I something in my peripheral vision for seconds. I won't count last night cause I only got 4 hours and it's always like that with a lack of sleep....

I'm def worried about that but I mean as long as it doesn't get worse. I just got to track everything and anything....

I guess I'm on the fence. I notice my thoughts are a little sloppy.. like thinking Nathan deadname. That was getting better significantly before but sometimes I think tiki tots or something too cause I'm high... idk I got to track everything and that's what I mean about changing my internal monologue by trying to erase those phrases as much as I can by changing the hallucination..

Idk... I'm trying bc sleep is really an issue with me... and I need to fix it...

I feel like if my sleep stays the same and I got to drug myself all the time beyond Xanax it is not improving and then it's not worth the money or the risk...

Beyond that it can help ptsd.... the issue is making my auditory hallucination or any hallucination worse....

But I feel more like me... when I've been on dating sites, not putting 420 friendly and being like she's a pot head and I mean I may never be able to smoke pot again regularly, I feel I lost a huge part of my identity.... like I kinda get when Katie cried and said, "you're always high so it's not really you." Bc of her trauma with her parents having been alcoholics.... but the high version of me feels like me. Especially when I am less high and medicated..... bc it's something that evens me out... and feels more like a mood stabilizer than, "woah man," if that makes sense. Right now I def feel high cause like I have no tolerance... but it will even out more.

We will see, I don't want to lose this part of myself. Without edibles weed doesn't cost an arm and a leg anymore. I mean atm bc of what I have I won't need to get my card until like August.

Anyways- I'm playing bully. I stopped for dinner. I'm feeling lonely but I'm used to it. Trying to numb that pain with distraction....

Hardcore moshpit is starting Tuesday I'm excited. I'm going to take Tuesday the 7th to the 13th and play black ops everyday all day long assuming I don't get smashed cause then I'm going to be mad. I haven't played any bo4 cause I only seem to do well on hardcore barebones moshpit and hardcore Nuketown which are two playlists that only last a week each spread out over a 15 week rotation.

[foreverpining]

Backstory (10th Grade Part 1 [I'm sorry there's a lot this year])

So summer came and we spent quite a bit of that together as well. They even went to one of my therapy appointments with me and met my therapist. At this point things were starting to get a little more heated between us. They'd lost their virginity already although I had not. We came really close a couple times that summer at my aunt's house while everyone was busy, in my room when they'd got there but my mom didn't know yet to keep an eye on us. School came again and as always it comes with struggles. None so much as 9th grade brought our friendship tho. We'd sit in the afternoons after school discussing the future how we'd move out and get an apartment together as soon as we could. We even with the ever growing closer act of sexuality discussed possibilities for if a certain surprise were to happen even tho I was on birth control. We spent their birthday on the couch in the living room of my parents house I had made them cookies to take home as a birthday present. Just a few days later he was back over for Halloween but our planned event was cut short by my existential crisis about growing older so we decided instead to go trick or treating one final time. It was the last time I trick or treated and I'd honestly go so far as to say my favorite we wondered through neighborhoods going house to house until it was far too late and everyone was out of candy. They had braces so when we got back to my house to trade candy till their dad got there they ended up giving me pretty much everything they got and left with a left chocolate candies at my insistence. We at least one day together every week that whole year leading up to the big event of 2018 Christmas. The Christmas I'll never forget. We discussed it and both of our families celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve so we decided we could spend the day together. Now I haven't actually noted this yet but a big barrier of us making it to third base was my mom was a helicopter mom and she was constantly checking in on every few minutes. Well she had agreed to my bestie spending Christmas with us rather far in advance but when the day actually came she ended up being sick. Since she'd already agreed she still let my bestie come over. When they got there the first thing we did was I excited gave them their presents. A T-Shirt from the show The Flash off the CW and a little Iron Man plush, because my bestie really loves comics. Actually side note years ago around this time they made a tumblr and most of what they posted on it was shower thoughts and Batman AUs. Back to the story my bestie didn't really have money to get me anything so they'd written me a note that I actually lost sadly so I can't show you but it was really sweet and gave me like a dollar and some change which I ended up taking to the dollar tree and buying a little teddy bear and told them that would be their gift to me. I let them name it and they named her Aurora. So we were sitting in there after that completely unsupervised and one thing lead to another and we went all the way on that fateful Christmas day. After we finished we cuddled on the couch ate some leftover Christmas foods from my family's celebration the day before. Then their dad got there to pick them up I expressed to them I was really sad for them to leave and since they'd changed into the shirt I'd gifted them they gave me the one they had came to my house wearing that day. I have taken that shirt to psych wards because it feels like it gives this comfort only their energy does. After that the rest of winter break seemed to fly by but something felt off. It felt like my bestie was trying to distance their self from me. I didn't think too much of it cause we would have a class together the next semester of school. Sadly my dear reader I do have to tell you this is where our story takes a dark path for a while, from the other side I will tell you it becomes lighter with time. Sorry have to make pt 2 10th grade was a lot.

[izzy-b-hands]

I'm gonna ask a weird question but:

Is there anything you guys (aka y'all following me lol) want to see more of from me, in terms of a potential item(s)/service(s) to purchase?

Better explanation of what the fuck I'm waxing on abt below the cut. TW for talk of money/work/the overall state of things economically for me and my plans/goals/potential options to keep making things better.

I need to bring in more money. I'm getting more stable, trying to save on top of the generous donations I've been given while using them as needed for things we absolutely need (food, basic supplies/necessities.) But we're still so tight, and I know nearly everyone is dealing with some form of this right now bc Everything Sucks Economically on like. a level of how it felt in 2008 (extra terrifying feeling now) but. It's killing me. I can't take feeling like a burden like this. I have to do more.

I have been applying elsewhere, for FT, PT, and contract jobs that pay better, though I am hoping more for the FT positions of course. Thus far, I have not had any bites back that amounted to anything, but intend to continue my efforts regardless (because what else can I do there anyway?)

I've been trying to figure out other options, w/things I know I can do somewhat well to very well. All would be cheap, but hopefully would add up over time until I can get a FT job again and while I grind away at the current PT job (which I am hoping to add more hours to for the next semester, when they have us make our scheduling choices again and allow us to potentially add at least one more shift to our schedule.)

So, a poll. To gauge interest, and see if y'all have any opinions/would even potentially purchase anything like the below things from me. I'll try and detail each option below, but first, the options:

1. Photo Prints: I've done photography since high school, though I only have my current Pixel phone available for it right now. That said, they would be as cheap as I can get away with, and my Pixel actually doesn't do too badly, plus I would be editing these to make them as good looking as possible. Ideally, I'd have a Pay What You Want option instead, so ppl can just give whatever they think the print is worth since these will be smaller, amateur prints, but I'm not sure if all the platforms that usually handle photo print sales for smaller creators allow that. So, in that case, a range of probably $1-$5 at most for each print. They would be of things out here; I have access to and experience already with taking city and nature themed pictures (it was literally all I did in hs and since then bc of where I've lived.) So general city life/scenery, plus local wildlife like the birds, squirrels, and nature surrounding us in all seasons, plus any extra pictures I can take elsewhere whenever Housemate and I are out and about (aka probably lots of mountain and ocean shots.) My speciality when I had my other camera was micro/detailed photography, and I'd like to explore this with my current setup and see how they turn out and potentially offer those as well.

If it would help to see some current pictures that I am considering as the first set I would put up for sale, please reply on this post letting me know and I can post a couple as examples 🙌

2. Poetry Commissions: I have done these on and off since middle school, usually for friends/family. Nothing wild, but usually shorter, some rhyming, some free verse, poems on varying topics. I've done them for birthdays, holidays like Mother's Day and Father's Day, as well as with obits or for weddings, and even a baby shower, to go on the invites. I haven't posted much of what I've written in recent years, but as with the pictures, I would be happy to post some of the ones I've written before as examples. Poetry is where I have no fear and will work myself to the bone to provide the best work possible; if you can get me just the bare basic details (ex. You want a poem for your brother's bday. Give me his name, a couple of hobbies/likes of his, and two of your favourite memories with him and I'll write you something beautiful, to celebrate him and his place in your life and take the piss out of him too, depending on your relationship with your brother lol), I can get you a poem in a 2-4 day turnaround time for as low as 5¢/word. Electronic only, but you would get a PDF of the poem that you can do whatever you want with afterwards (I would require my name remain credited on any other posting/usage elsewhere, but you wouldn't have to pay me again if you want to reuse it for another brother, to harken back to our example.)

3. Data Entry/Transcription Assistance: This one is a pretty wide range of what I can offer. I have experience working with medical documents (neurology, ophthalmology, and optometry for specific specialities both in data entry and transcription) via two of my last jobs, technical documents from two prior jobs (public library and medical staff training specifically), and historical documents including both handwritten (including print and cursive) and typed documents and charts via my volunteer work with Zooniverse. This is my bread and butter in terms of general job skills, and one I genuinely enjoy. That means that I come into each job, regardless of field or exact task, with excitement and an open mind, ready to prioritise and organise everything to the requested system and/or standard, with the goal to go above and beyond that however possible. Usually I achieve this by completing projects as ahead of deadline as possible, as well as by taking on any additional related tasks as needed (example: you hired me on to type up all of Grandma's lifelong journal entries for archiving and easy reading at an upcoming family reunion, but now you've found that Grandpa has one too. For minimal to no additional cost, I will happily take that on and endeavour to have both sets of data typed up in an easy to send/print word doc and/or PDF well before the reunion deadline.) I am more than willing to take on contract/NDA required work for this option as well, and have done so in the past with a prior job (aka why I'm not allowed to share any of the clinic training docs I made.) Cost might depend some on project size and deadline, but a general estimate would be, to stick with our above example: $5 per 250/pg journal, with a small additional charge of $5 if a rush is requested (aka say the reunion gets moved up to three days from now vs three months or weeks.) I would endeavour to charge no higher than $25 with $5 rush fee if rush requested for bigger projects.

4. Research Assistance: More or less what it says on the tin. Can be for work, home related things, whatever (though if requested for school/in regards to homework, I only go as far as providing resource links because unfortunately, usually doing the research yourself is a part of the learning process. However, if you're struggling to find primary or secondary sources, I am happy to help find those for you so that you can peruse them to see if they'll have the information you're looking for. If they do, great! If they don't, then I would keep looking for more.) While research hasn't been my main task at any of my prior jobs, it has always been a feature in much of the day to day work regardless, and is a skill I have kept up in my volunteer work with Zooniverse on projects which requested it. Looking for sources for anything, from work projects to recipes can be a slog. Let me do it for you. Pricing on this I'm putting at $5. That's it. Pay me $5, and I'll find as much as I can in regards to whatever you have that needs researching. Turnaround might depend on project, but I'm leaning 1-4 days at the very most.

So. There we are! Vote on the poll if you'd like, reply with any opinions/feelings/ideas you have for me about these, and thank you if you read this whole thing ❤️🫂

[usmsgutterson]

venting about problems I'm worrying about two months before they'll become problems and they're pretty insignificant anyway

having to navigate a friend group where one of my closest friends is the ex of another of my closest friends is a logistical nightmare.

I turn nineteen in january. I wanted to just do a thing with friends (bowling or dinner or a rage room or smth) and then something with family (dinner and maybe a trip to a bar with my sisters because nineteen is the legal drinking age where I am and I do want to get a liiiiiiitttle tipsy at least)

but like. I might have to just do three things because Person A ghosted Person B after like, a month and a half-two months?? of leading them on, and also Person B made Person A angry for the entire year leading up to their break up but Person A didn't say shit and so Person A is like "our relationship ended on a bad note" and Person B is just like "Person A has been ghosting me since august and took me off of the accounts we shared without warning but I'm fine, I've made peace with it even though being ghosted freaking sucks" so it's--it's all very complicated.

How do I know I'll need to plan three things if I want Person A involved in my birthday celebration?? I watched the fnaf movie with Person B and my friend Person C on the day before halloween and before we went I invited Person A and they were like "will my ex be there?" and when I was like "yeah" they were like "ugh no. why would I want to see my ex??" and mentally I was like "it is a fucking movie. can you not sit for two hours, NOT EVEN NEXT TO PERSON B and just fucking be cordial??" but I never said that bc I am nice externally and when they get angry, Person A becomes almost as terrifying as my dad does.

SO, if I want to celebrate with all of my friends, I will AT MINIMUM have to do a thing with Persons B and C, another thing with my friends L, H, C again and Person A, and then go to dinner with my parents and sisters where I will absolutely be getting drunk because I will legally be able to and all of the fucking stress and MONEY going into it?? not even slightly worth it oh my fucking word.

and it just--it kind of makes me mad because I shouldn't have to celebrate my birthday with three groups of people three or four different times. I don't have the energy to do that even slightly, and it pisses me off because how are you incapable of being calm and cordial and collected for an hour in a rage or escape room?? How are you incapable, ABSOLUTELY INCAPABLE of being cordial for the length of one dinner at Boston Pizza where I will be drinking a literal FISHBOWL of alcohol and getting so drunk that it'll be impossible not to laugh at me??? how. how can you not. just this fucking once.

and I know it probably makes me sound really selfish--I promise this isn't how I actually am, the idea of celebrating my birthday more than twice is just a LITTTTTLE nauseating and kind of makes me want to spiral into social burn out because I can handle doing multiple different things with family but with friends I just--my social battery is gone after six hours and I've been really excited about this birthday since I hit eighteen because both of my sisters are able to drink already and I have been missing out on the times they're hanging out with people for almost a full two years now because alcohol is involved and I'm sick of missing out. I promise I do my best not to be self centered or vain but I feel like it's justified in this case.

With my family my social battery is basically LIMITLESS because they respect when I go quiet and aside from my mom asking me what's wrong a couple of times, they'll understand that I don't really wanna talk but am more content to listen for like, ten or fifteen minutes until one of them does something that makes me laugh and I'm back in the groove of things, but it just. I have the energy to do something during the day on my birthday and a dinner. anything more than that and especially anything that doesn't happen within the week after my birthday?? I'm at the point where I have spent five months at home almost unrelentingly and my capacity for weekly social events is not at all like it used to be even SLIGHTLY, as much as I hate that.

and I just don't--it just fuckin' irks me to no end because I get not being able to be around your ex--I have an ex who I can't stand to be around anymore because of how we ended things so I absolutely get it--but like. The only reason that they ended on a bad foot was poor communication and Person A's unwillingness to clear stuff up even despite Person Bs numerous attempts at reaching out before they just gave up on Peson A. Clear stuff up and at least be acquaintances or at least TRY TO BE ACQUAINTANCES.

again, I probably sound selfish but it is one in the morning, I am sleep deprived and this entire vent was stream of consciousness style venting so. please let it be known that the version of me that's angry because I have to have two celebrations for one occasion is not the me that exists all the time.

[writingintheshadowsforever]

Hey just wanted to check on you and make sure you are doing OK! I realized we haven’t heard from you in a bit🫶🏾

Hey sorry for answering this so late I've been really bad about replying to everyone in my life. Over these past couple of weeks and thank you for checking in on me nonnie. I'm doing okay life has just been hectic as usual with me working two jobs, and my sister and her two kids still staying with us. On top of all that my nephews gave me their cold so yeah I've been more absent in a lot of things in my life. I wish I could be more present in, and it really sucks. But today is my last day at my fast food restaurant, so after this week I'll be off Sunday-Tuesday for a while.

I'm looking forward to it too hoping to catch up on a lot, and my birthday is coming up this Friday. This my sound sad but I've decided to go ahead and work on my B-day considering. I'm off for three days after Saturday and I do need the money on my check. Plus I don't have any super extravagant plans for my birthday, and no one in my life is secretly planning me anything. I'm going out to eat with a friend on Monday or Tuesday cause she's off on those days, and I am too. But yeah there's my little life update I'm still alive, and think about you guys. One day is getting closer and closer.