#I'll delete this later because it's not that. fucked up. if you consider that these very people decided that they needed

[hiimbloblos]

Everything that promotes LGBT will now be banned: a rainbow without a light blue stripe, all kinds of themed patches, badges on clothes, as well as parades, processions, rallies and themed parties.

For that - up to 12 years in prison.

Hi! What! Literal murder can get you 2 to 8 years in prison. Killing a man gives you less years! Hello! Can anybody fucking hear me!

Updating this post because. WELL. If anyone, ANYONE supports LGBTQIA in here. Even if they're the straightest people ever. THEY FALL UNDER THE SAME CATEGORY. LGBTQIA ALLIES ARE CONSIDERED EXTREMISTS TOO.

Moreover, everyone could get in trouble - even if the person isn't an activist or part of LGBTQ, but speaks out that LGBTQ people must have equal rights with everyone else.

You can get in trouble for a LGBTQ-symbolic repost from 10 years ago - if the policemen can capture it after Supreme Court's decision will take effect.

And another update: this "law" will only be valid after January 10, 2024

The court decision will come into force on January 10 of the following year - unless an appeal is filed.

[flowerandblood]

ONE YEAR OF FLOWER&BLOOD

✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙

Exactly one year ago I posted my first chapter of the My Best Friend series. Nowadays I think it's something awful and I don't even try to edit it because I'd have to write everything from scratch, but I've left it for people who feel attached to the story. I remember getting about six likes and one comment on the first day and that huuuuge interest made me eager to create chapter 2 and then all the others.

I remember the excitement with which I waited and then replied to comments, not believing that people were actually waiting for the next chapter. At the time I was literally not following anyone, which was good because I wasn't comparing myself to anyone.

Eventually I felt I was ready to try writing other series and a few were successful enough that I decided to stay here permanently and create because it made me happy. Up to that point, everyone had been very kind to me and I started following more and more blogs, wanting to feel part of the fandom, to make friends with everyone. Now I know that was the biggest mistake I made.

Seeing things that didn't interest me, fanfic's whose way of writing couldn't draw me in, I felt frustrated, while at the same time fearing that if I stopped following someone, that person would see it as an affront. At the same time, The Impossible Choice, my biggest project until The Fall from the Heavens (which I'm currently editing and re-editing, while inserting on AO3), began to be written.

Just when I thought I had reached the pinnacle of my abilities (which wasn't true), I also started to clash with anonymous hate messages, probably the worst of which were those vilifying me and my husband, and those regarding my one-shot with Micheal Gavey. I know now that taking it personally and getting involved was my big mistake, and the fandom was shaken by drama that got out of hand.

I was a few steps away from deleting my blog at the time, but my husband talked me out of the idea (thankfully, as my stories aren't saved anywhere else − I'm only now moving them to AO3).

That's when I first realised that some people here I don't even like, and they probably don't like me. I wondered, why are we following each other then? Why are we pretending to have any courtesy? It was only later that I realised that to be considered someone's friend, you have to reblog their work and preferably agree with them even when they write hurtful things.

Since I've depleted my circle of those I follow to about 20 people, since I've blocked dozens of people and tags, there's been blissful silence (with the exceptions of when I write about behaviour in the fandom that I find toxic and someone accuses me of causing drama, but I'm used to it now). I've also never written happier than I do now.

Ideas come to me on their own, I don't feel uptight about what other big people will think of me, whether they reblog it, approve of it or not. I don't give a shit and life is beautiful! Although I can be emotionally unstable, I'm only 70 people short of crossing the next milestone of 3,000 followers, and that's BIG for me. It amuses me that I keep getting messages that someone is going to block me or stop following me, and you guys keep coming. It's gratifying.

I'm going to keep writing for you guys, and I'm sure during season two you'll also see my posts describing my impressions after the episodes in which I hope to involve my husband. I'll also keep you updated here on how I'm doing with my book I'm creating in my private life.

Apreciation

@ewanmitchellcrumbs

Ange. I know that sometimes I'm fucked up, but I want you to know that you've made this place so much more bearable for me that I can't imagine it without you. What I appreciate most about you is that you can talk and discuss, that you always try to understand the other side, that you are empathetic, warm and kind. I feel that, like friends in everyday life, we can also tell each other about things we disagree about, and there are not many people like that here.

On top of that, you are very talented and your stories are always a pleasure to read, even when they are short, you are able to build the plot and atmosphere perfectly, something I have always admired. Thank you for every kind word and understanding.

I still remember your first message to me via ask, referring to the fact that I didn't want to write a pairing with a mermaid because someone else was writing about it at the same time. My heart melted then, it was so nice!

@targaryenrealnessdarling

Liz, Queen of Angst! Your calmness and composure puts me in awe. You're disgustingly talented when it comes to writing and you have a super-sweet personality. When you started following me I began to squirm with delight, and when you started reblogging my stuff? My goodness!!!

@persephonerinyes

You've been engaging and reblogging my stories for as long as I can remember. Always involved, your thoughts make me smile. Thank you for being with me for so long!

@zenka96

You've been here with me since the dawn of time. You know that I love you. Your support from the very beginning really makes me feel like I have a friend here.

@huramuna

I am so proud of you! I remember your asks when I wrote Glass Cuts Deepest, your illustrations for me and your uncertainty about whether you should start writing yourself. I'm so happy for you and that you are so successful! You deserved it.

@black-dread & @aegonx

You are my favourite gif makers. Your work always leaves me in awe, you are amazing! I know how much work you put into it and somehow you make even the worst lit scenes look wonderful!

@summerposie; @0eessirk8; @melsunshine; @immyowndefender; @bellaisasleep; @kckt88; @thedamewithabook; @happinessinthebeing; @queenofshinigamis; @travelingmypassion; @mefools; @fan-goddess; @toodlesxcuddles; @ammo23; @troublesomesnitch; @mariahossain; @out-of-life; @apothe-roses; @heavenhatesme; @whitearemydarkestnight; @liv-cole; @blackswxnn; @echos-muses; @watercolorskyy; @at-a-rax-ia; @tssf-imagines; @snh96; @hiatuswhore; @exitpursuedbyavulcan; @darylandbethfanforever9; @the-dendrophile-bookdragon; @opheliaas-stuff @zaldritzosrose

Your comments and reblogs make me want to keep writing. You make me laugh, you comfort me and you support me. I know I'm definitely forgetting someone, but I want you to know that I love everyone who comments on my stories and there is nothing better for me than responding to your reactions and questions! I have known some of you for so many months that I truly consider you my good friends!

lottie-blue-star; aveatquevale-; aemondtargaryenwifey marvelescvpe; alphard-hydraes-blog; herejusttostan; li0nn3stuff; alexandrawho; vilmakamunen; angelinap09; theloveablestargirl; rose-blue-19; xxxkat3xxx; flosaureum; mandiiblanche; librawh0re; jasminecosmic99; ivvypg; rojocarnation; killmanduh; tokkiiidoll; wolfdressedinlace; angelofvivianne; nina2697; starwarsgirlsimmer1; katsucker; ipostwhtifeel; aemondsdelight; ilswemoon; tigrigri; pasta-rask; roselibrary; lystargs; gemini-mama; nikstrange; tempo-rary-fix; coffeeobsessedtrencher; gwuinivyre; dreamerbythewayx; diiickbrainn; mothmankit

And everyone else I missed and whose icons I would recognize from afar. I know that you have been with me for many months, often in silence or communicating anonymously. Your silent support and presence is something wonderful for me, knowing that you have been with me for so long and read all my posts!

Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!

[botanikos]

Image text: It's Lisa Simpson giving her presentation with the words "I blocked and deleted anons for months, and left this blog/Stolas only for it to all keep going anyway."

Today, while singing around the kitchen after having a hard time at work, I had some "post-stress clarity" or whatever you want to call it.

I have been so exhausted, anxious, and genuinely saddened by the ongoing anonymous tirade that continues to mention my name (and others — but I don't speak for them, only myself). So allow me to make some clarifying statements, shall we? Not that I owe anyone a single word... besides, those I am close with or who know me know the truth. And let me just say thank you.

To everyone else, I refuse to apologize for making this post. As a victim of this circlejerk of an anonymous harassment campaign that people don't want to acknowledge or take seriously and just label as regular old "drama" even though it's been going on for months and that is fucking WILD — I am tired of keeping quiet. So here it is, why I "left."

1. My very first anonymous "criticism" was not that at all. I still wouldn't classify it as "hate" either, despite what others thought of it at the time. However, I have come to the conclusion now, months later, that it is entirely possible, and very likely, they mistook me for someone else. "Jude, that is awfully generous" ; no it isn't. It's what I believe to be true. My URL, at the time before it was changed to botanikos, was very similar to another person's. Knowing what I do now, it makes sense. No harm, no foul.

2. I have no real proof of who has been / is / was sending the constant barrage of anonymous messages. The Cam blog stepped up and said it was them. I believe they played a part in it, for sure, but considering things are STILL being said and I received messages even after blocking them. . . Huh. Interesting, don't you think? Anyways. . . That being said — Not once have I ever made a post about or directed towards another name that has been consistently mentioned in all of this, yet my posts were stolen and used. Linked, of course, because I took the reblog feature away. So again. . . The only things I have ever addressed are a select very few (2-3 messages at most) anonymous asks. I have. . . So many screenshots of messages I consistently received. Let that sink in.

3. "Just ignore and block. They will stop." If that were true, do you think I would have left this blog? No. Again, I don't know who is behind any of this, but it doesn't take rocket science to realize it's because I write Stolas and started befriending people? I assume that is what I am guilty of and what drew the attention? Coz otherwise, WHAT is the reason FOR ALL OF THIS/THAT? I'll wait, if anyone has a valid explanation. . .

4. Yea. I DID make a new blog! Wow! It's almost like I felt unsafe and anxious on this one after everything that's happened/been going on! And the only real way I saw myself regaining control of the situation was to take a few days away, shut down this blog, and start anew?!?! And even still, my name is being dragged around to other people. . . Funny how cowards don't want to ask or talk to me themselves about whatever curiosities they have. Huh! But no longer surprising. I'm just disappointed that I know 6 year olds with more decency and respect than the adults over here.

At this point, I am acutely aware that whoever is behind this, while I may not know their direct identity. . . It is SOMEONE or a group of people who are either close friends with one another and have interacted with me on some level (or the people around me) or they are someone I am close to and unaware of their double standards.

So, of course, I'm going to use a different name and different blog, be private and highly selective, and slow to follow people back or write anymore. Because my spirit and desire to be here while not entirely gone has been severely broken. If you feel like you need anything made clear or confirmed from me, just ask. I have screenshots of everything I need/felt was necessary. I'm an open book. Talk to me in private if you need anything more from me. But there's your explanation.

So let it fucking go. At this point, I'm done being sad about it; now I'm just furious. And if saying all of this makes you dislike me or question my character, I hope you take a moment to do a little reflecting yourself, too. Because nothing I've said above is in any way demeaning. I have given you my experience(s). This blog has brought me so much joy, and sparked new friendships that I am grateful for. But the fact remains that I had to leave. I have to be someplace else, and I'm not even fully present there either.

[doonarose]

WIP fic under the cut. I'm still in a dark as fuck mood and this lacks porn but has them well-position to start making out soon (which is always my actual motivation). I'm sure I'll delete it later, tidy it up and throw it onto AO3 at some point. But fuck it, I wrote something even though I knew a giant slab of fandom will find it morally reprehensible.

They end up human.

God is in the bookshop. She looks decidedly human except for all the ways She definitely doesn’t. And heaven and hell are not… anywhere. Both Crowley and Aziraphale had felt the cosmic shift in the universe several moments earlier that signalled the very sudden and absolute dissolution and disappearance of a whole lot of celestial bureaucratic… stuff.

The Book of Life has also zapped itself out of existence and even as Aziraphale recognises the lack of book in his hands, he’s forgetting what precisely his fingers are flexing to find.

“You’ve done well, Crowley and Aziraphale.” God says without opening Her mouth (because, technically, she does not have one).

Beside him, and quite before Aziraphale has managed a coherent thought let alone a planned and rational response for the omniscient, omnipotent being before them, Crowley is spluttering and swaying and yelling: “We’ve? Done? WELL?”

God does not respond to that. Or rather, She does but it’s with such a momentous transfer of acknowledgement, clarity and wit, entirely lacking in words or even images, that Crowley sways further on his feet before taking a stumbled step backwards. He falls silent.

Aziraphale has never seen Crowley look meek and it distracts him for a moment from staring at God.

Eventually Crowley recovers. “No more heaven?” he asks, sounding as shocked as Aziraphale feels. “No more hell? But you – ”

“Correct.”

“I don’t understand,” he says with a broken, exhausted voice that cracks Aziraphale’s heart open. They’ve been fighting – each other and everyone and everything for too long and now it’s just… over?

God remains infuriatingly tranquil. “It is not for you to understand.” Again without speaking, but She smiles and gives off the impression of tilting her head as though conversing with a very young child about things they are not ready to comprehend.

“Just like that, it’s over?” Crowley presses and steps closer to Aziraphale’s side.   

The angel has balled his hands into fists and is still trying to formulate an acceptable thought to vocalize to the Messiah.

“Just like that,” God agrees.

“And I suppose this was all part of Your plan.”

“It has happened. So, yes.” She seems to grin, a little manically. “Obviously,” She… teases.

Crowley lets out a rattling, exasperated, exhausted breath and Aziraphale steps forward to stop him from arguing further with God. He tries very hard to look God in the eye and fails for the expected reasons (far too many eyes to choose from). “Of course,” Aziraphale readily agrees. “And we wish only to assist and support the great ineffable plan, absolutely, your…” his voices disappears as he scrambles with an acceptable honorific. “Your great and all powerful holiness.”

Aziraphale feels like he’s going to throw up.

Crowley has found his voice again, having had another thought and daring to ask another blasted question. “But we’re denizens of heaven and hell,  shouldn’t we be…” he trails off as Aziraphale looks at him sharply and closes the last of the distance between them to bump the back of Crowley’s hand with his own.

Thankfully, God seems to be amused and with a rush of overwhelming feeling Aziraphale is suddenly acutely and specifically reminded of every single instance of his time on Earth. The sparking whiplash of a million memories being fired instantaneously across his temporal lobe makes his teeth grind together and his jaw ache. He can tell just be looking that Crowley is experienced the same.

Perhaps most ridiculously, God’s expression, insofar as she has one, turns contrite. “Apologies, those corporations can be so unwieldy.” She considers the pair of them, allowing a moment’s recovery. “Not, strictly speaking, denizens of heaven or hell though, was my point.”

They seem to fall into a sort of stalemated silence after that. God beaming beatifically, ever-patient but still troublingly imposing. It makes Aziraphale fidget and worry and want very badly for this to be over.

Crowley, it seems, still has questions, opening his mouth to ask but God’s not-words beat him to it. “You’re not the only ones, you know. All has been taken care of. As planned.”

Crowley almost manages to interrupt Her. “Well that’s bloody cryptic. What about all the other angels?”

Muriel!

“Some have found their humanity, some have moved on, some never were.” She considers Crowley carefully, her smile affectionate. “Muriel is well, you’ll see.”

“I’ll actually see or I just have to trust that it’s ineffable?” he all but snarls.

God, quite resoundingly and not particularly helpfully, agrees and Crowley seems to have to accept it against his own will.

“And what about you two?” God knowingly asks.

Aziraphale swallows. “I quite like existing.” He manages to get two of Crowley’s fingers into his palm, wrapping his hand around them and holding on. “Crowley does as well.”

“With the humans,” God agrees. “As denizens of Earth.”

The breath seems to go out of Crowley and his shoulder hunch up and his free hand raises to pull his glasses off his face. “It’s really all over?” he says, his voice carrying resigned, exhausted hope. “No Armageddon, no second coming. The world’s not going to end and people are just going to be free?”

“For at least a couple billion years,” She says. “Is that not what you wanted?”

“To be free?” Crowley asks and Aziraphale’s grip around his fingers tightens again. “Is it possible?”

“All things are possible,” God tells them and Crowley finally looks up at her. “And Earth and its people are free of angels and demons and all their interference. You saw to that.”

The corners of Crowley’s eyes crease up and he shakes Aziraphale’s hand away. “So, we would have to be…”

“There are no more angels and no more demons.”

“But we could be – ”

“It’s already done,” She says gently.

Aziraphale hasn’t quite caught up yet, he’s still processing the idea of everything being free. Free will and freedom and a couple billion more years before whatever is next in the Ineffable Plan. That’s quite a long time.

Crowley lets out a rattling, shocked gasp of a breath and it makes Aziraphale look away from God and towards him.

Crowley is staring back with bright brown eyes that are getting brighter in God’s illumination as they well up with tears that Crowley is quick to blink back.

“Your eyes,” Aziraphale says before he can think better of it. “They’re the same as when you were – ”

“Human,” Crowley interjects. “She’s leaving us human.”

“Oh.” The enormity of that hits Aziraphale hard in the core of his chest. His heart speeds up and he tries to reckon with whether it feels different now that he’s not an angel. The thought alone aches like nothing he’s felt before.

“Humans could never truly be free of celestial interference if celestial entities walked amongst them. You know that, that’s what you wanted for them.”

“We wouldn’t have to interfere,” Crowley argues. “No more miracles or temptations. We’d just leave them alone.” Crowley trails off as God rolls Her eyes at a galactic scale.  

Aziraphale digs his manicured fingernails into the exposed flesh of his wrist and then stares down at the ruddy crescent indentations. He wills them away but they are fading slowly, humanly. He could go further, draw blood, and then he’d simply have to get a plaster for it.

“We’re going to die,” he realizes.

“Six thousand bloody years and two Armageddons and you’re giving us fifty years?” Crowley is also staring at the nail indentations on Aziraphale’s arm.

God snorts in a very unladylike manner. “Thirty-five years, maybe. Neither of you has taken particularly good care of these corporations and they’re rather aged. So, let’s say forty years if you’re lucky. You’ll should stop drinking so much, too. And take up pilates. Or yoga.”

Crowley stares at her and Aziraphale starts wringing his hands again. “You can’t really expect us both to just… die! How would one even – There’s no heaven!” Aziraphale can feel himself panicking, heart speeding up even further, sweat breaking out across his forehead and down the back of his neck and there’s no miracles to fix it. “What about all the people dying and we got rid of heaven!”

God shushes him and her own ethereal power washes over him a warm, lavender-scented bath. With candlelight and a good book and a foot rub. He lets out a sigh of relief that he hasn’t earned at all and feels terrible about relaxing.

“Souls remain eternal,” God says. “And death has always been the next great adventure after life.”

“Yes, but what is it?” Aziraphale demands. “The afterlife if it isn’t heaven?”

She grins and Aziraphale’s sneaking suspicion over the last six millennia that it was never heaven solidifies. Aziraphale never once even saw a human soul there.

“Unless you choose to take a short cut, you’ll find out in forty odd years.” She’s teasing again. “Until then it’s – ” she pauses for dramatic effect, long enough for Crowley to let out an incoherent noise of frustration and bewilderment before both he and Aziraphale say along with her (unmoving, unspeaking, unreal lips) – “Ineffable.”

Simultaneously there’s the distinct impression of Her laughing at the entirety of humankind – which now, rather shockingly, includes Crowley and Aziraphale and several other past-Celestials (but that’s another story) – along with Her sudden and complete absence from the universe.

It’s a creepy feeling that Aziraphale tries to miracle into submission out of habit. Then he looks at Crowley and says the first thing that comes to mind. “I think I will kind of miss the yellow.”

Crowley looks at him like he’s stark-raving mad before blinking stupidly into the quiet of the bookshop and the regularity of London sounds coming from just beyond.

Aziraphale clears his through and flexes his hands at his sides. “What do you suppose we do now, then?”

Crowley is still staring at him. “Absolutely no idea, angel. We’ve got thirty-five years assuming neither one of us gets hit by a bus or gets cancer or… or bird flu, for fuck’s sakes. What could we possibly get done in under four decades?” he shakes his head and sticks his hands deep into the too-small pockets of his dark jeans. “I don’t know what we do.”

[proshipconfessions]

Responding to your last post about proshippers complaining about other proshippers. You didn't provide this option, but I really think it should depend on the content of the ask... And yes, this is a confession blog for proshippers/profic, etc. aligned people. Telling us to go to antiship confession blogs is horrifically stupid and is only going to put us in dangerous positions.

The proship community is not immune from being shitty. There are proshippers who act just like antis. People who think they can change their race and give themselves disabilities are straight up infecting the community as well. There are proshippers who are horrifically ableist against pwOSDDID, schizospec disorders, etc. There are proshippers who straight up use slurs they can not reclaim. There are proshippers who call people the r slur. I especially think proshippers with these disorders (including myself) should have a safe outlet to talk about the toxicity and abuse within our own community without telling us to basically become an anti. Because what the hell???

Of course, I can't read every single anon that you get, but if they are anything along the lines of what I'm talking about here, consider not deleting them. Especially don't tell people to "just become antis" or "just go to antiship confession blogs." That's harmful as fuck.

If anything, these confessions should serve as a reality check that our community isn't perfect. Or serve to remind people that this behavior shouldn't or won't be tolerated in the proship community. Not every self-proclaimed "proshipper" is actually a proshipper, especially if they act abusive, ableist, or harass people like antis do. I will die on this hill.

If you don't want to house confessions about these topics, that's fine. Just say so, and I'll make my own confessional blog where these topics are allowed.

You’re right that there are plenty of people who are proship and also shitty af. It’s something that I’ve both posted plenty of confessions about and have actually even—in case you haven’t been familiar with my blog for a while—made my own post about! It’s like one of just a few posts that I have made speaking directly from my mouth and not a confession. It’s just a post that I wrote about behavior that I hate seeing pop up far too commonly in this community. I literally can’t count how many people I have blocked, which includes not only antis, but also shitty proshippers and pricks who claim to be them while supporting harm caused to others in real life.

You’re also right that you can’t read every anon that I get. I would have much preferred that you even just ask what kind of thing I’m talking about instead of acting like you’re some secret second mod and I’m just some asshole who refuses to hold anyone or any behavior accountable as long as I agree with them on some level.

I really do wonder what you would think about one of the (many with a similar tone) asks that inspired this post.

Do you know how many anons I get with the same fucking attitude and the same fucking insistence that they’re right and I’m wrong and evil, and yet I’m somehow the perfect mouthpiece for their beliefs? What reality check is this supposed to be giving me? Please either stop assuming that everything I say is in bad faith or genuinely try to explain to me what the good content for my followers is in this ask. This is the behavior that I mocked in my post. I also have an old one that I think is somewhere in my drafts(?) where the evil behavior that they’ve seen among a bunch of proshippers that has made them hate all proshippers is venting about harassment from antis. The fake post I made mocking them is an amalgamation of those two, but you only get this one since I’m way too tired to go find the other one rn lol. If someone reminds me, I can reblog it with it later.

Also, I really can’t tell where I said in my post that I would tell these people to go to antiship blogs (other than my reference to a comment where I said that if all that people send to my inbox is how much they hate proshippers and basic proship ideology, then they should probably take that to an anti blog) instead of just deleting the ask, like I actually said in the post. The post that was really more of a way to let off some steam while getting some use out of the Tumblr polls that I practically never get to do anything with. Do you think that the person in those screenshots that I put above is more at home here than they’d be sending this to some anti’s blog?

But like to try to put myself in your shoes, you could’ve been having a shitty day when you sent this, you could be young, or hell, you could’ve seen someone say something similar to my statement recently while meaning this shitty completely different thing. Or maybe you’ve never seen my blog in your life and have no clue what kind of stuff I do/don’t post. My response might sound super defensive, and I hope that it doesn’t, and that I’m not jumping to conclusions, too. I’d hate to blow this out of proportion over what could easily be just a misunderstanding. If I’m being too harsh, sorry. I aim any coldness towards all of these bigoted ideas and the idea that I hold them, and not at you as a person, as I’m willing to believe that you’re an entirely rational person who just misunderstood me and lashed out at me bc of it. But if there is a next time, please try to give me the benefit of the doubt. I don’t ever intend to do anything harmful, and what I said wasn’t intended to imply anything like what you’re saying here at all. I’m not talking about proshippers venting. I’m talking about actual antis coming into my inbox with the “I’m like TECHNICALLY a proshipper, I guess, but I just despise proshippers and think that people who engage with certain types of fiction are inherently bad!!!” So unless you’re one of these people coming into my inbox, then I am NOT telling YOU to go to antiship confession blogs. And if you are… well, then you’re probably not gonna see this, since I’m going through and blocking all of these dickheads soon.

[jorisjurgen]

World of Twelve dashboard simulator #2

👁️ katarynadance follow

Freaks may say i want to fuck antonio sadisski from the bontarian boufbowl Love Arrow team. I'm freaks. I mean im freaks. I mean im freaks.

🌌 somethingquietplace

I wouldn't go that far, but NGL, I don't know how one might not develop an affinity for him... Very charming man! He might be the second greatest player after Khan.

Then again, my opinion on who the second greatest player is changes all the time, haha.

🌸 sadidaskickshoe follow

Ehh khan's been dead for centuries....! Let it go. I think he's cool, but thinking nobody will ever be better is crazy...

🌌 somethingquietplace

He developed most of the techniques still used to this day, just so you know. Visit a museum perhaps. It might be helpful?

🎃 sacriblo0ody follow

average khan fan showing how much criticism of his favourite misogynyst he can withstand.

🌌 somethingquietplace

And you're an average 16 year old child with Very Important Opinions trying to educate me nicely.

🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow

Seeing somethingquietplace and sadidaskickshoe on the same post is kind of terrifying.

#worlds most toxic crossover? #20 callout posts gang real?

(1,582 notes)

🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow

Guys they both blocked me ASFHFKDKGJSJ

Do i get a boufbowl fandom badge of honor now????? Did i make it in life?????

🦠 gorebludsac follow

I don't think it's a nice way to post, considering one of them is like neurodivergent and a minor, and the other is tumblr user somethingquietplace (diagnosis self explanatory)

🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow

I'm sorry yeah i forgot that they're both diagnosed.

#ngl i feel bad kinda for both of them

(34 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

.

I hate adventuring with other people. Just being there and knowing I'll never be their friend. I want to say something, be in the conversation, but I never know what to say, and everyone already knows each other and

Well even when they don't yet know each other, obviously they'll prefer anyone else over me. They'll give up on trying to talk to me.

It's so weird... I hate everyone. Everyone has stupid interests and tastes. Just braindead things. Romance and fucking and fashion. And all of them have normal lives and normal families and once in a while they ask something about mine and I don't know what to say at all. And I want to be liked. Even if I have zero respect for anyone I want to like me. Is it weird?

I guess I'm just sad because I don't have that innate talent to pretend like I care about other people. Or maybe I wish someone actually liked me besides my family.

#delete later #...I really like this ''forbid others from reblogging a post'' function they added recently #When my dad dies I think I will finally kill myself I guess. #not osu #Honestly I can't tolerate anyone at my work. I hate them all and want them dead. #And I can't tolerate anyone close to my age. #They all insult me. Constantly. You know. #So the only people who like me are my family. #Its neverending. I can't take it anymore. #I think me only liking my family might be a self fulfilling prophecy but i don't care. #or so I think.

(2 notes)

🌸 sadidaskickshoe follow

people who post about their family issues on here are weird.... My brother isn't here but just the idea of him seeing anything on my phone makes me so scared to write anything!! 😵‍💫

#temp

(1 note)

🌌 somethingquietplace

I wish people would refrain from obvious vagueblogging about my deleted posts.

#delete later #not osu

(284 notes)

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

people who stalk other peoples blogs are so weird!! I think it's easier to follow one another. Because this is getting embarrassing for us both XD

🌌 somethingquietplace

Ok.

#Mostly I am following you because you said you liked Khan Karkass. #Even if you don't have good opinions (ones I agree with) on him.

(1243 notes)

🦠 gorebludsac follow

A second mad xelor explosive machine has hit the tumblr boufbowl fandom

#those.two.... are mutuals now. #i canrt stop laughing there are tears rolling down my face #remember when kickshoe told me in explicit detail how she wanted me to kill myself #or how quiet typed out whole 40 paragraphs of threats #and ended that post with ''youre wasting my time away from work'' as if hes not termianlly online too #this is historical for me and nobody else

(46 notes)

🪰 maldemal follow

She throw dice on my tabletop til i eacflipcity

🕳️ eviltreeman follow

Collect my Thirsty Branches

(459 notes)

🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow

Bruh someone tried to kill the prince again and missed. How the fuck does a fifth assassin in a row fail at killing the prince of brakmar!!!! I can't live in this stupid country anymore

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

Even if things suck i dont think killing royals is the answer..... 😰

(109 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

Was in a store recently. The prices were disgusting, and the worst of all, the Ministry of Moral Purity wants to propose a tax for being negative about the government... Are we in Brakmar now? Is this Brakmar we're in?

I have something very taxable to say but shall refrain.

🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow

Bontarians when something bontarian happens bontarianly in bonta: is this fucking brakmar

unlike you, I have the free speech to wish death on our royalty. I can say freely that I hope the prince of brakmar kills himself.

🌌 somethingquietplace

It's literally so easy to hate you even besides the holier than thou attitude... Your city has lava. Would a good place to live with good people have lava. Would a good place with good people have invented something called "the Brakmarian burial"?

🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow

You can't be saying that white-blue boy

#WHERE DID A RANDOM BONTARIAN LEARN A 500 YEAR OLD GANG TERM FOR BODY DISPOSAL?? #WHAT???

(24295 notes)

🪄 pantypervert69 follow

CALLOUT POST:

@/xellymelly has been selling re-bought goods from The Mad Xelor. Do NOT buy from her. Not only are they dangerous, they are also wildly past their expiration date. DO NOT USE ANYTHING YOU BOUGHT FROM HER. IT WILL KILL YOU.

🌌 somethingquietplace

If you have items made by The Mad Xelor, Kerubim Crepin from Bonta's Aux Tresors de Kerubim shop has a recycling program for all victims of this scam. He even gives out rewards for all the items you bring in.

I implore you to consider taking the things you bought to him, and making the world a safer place. (And "★bring some magic to your life★")

#not osu #I can personally vouch for this store's quality. It's very well known among some circles around here.

(4838 notes)

🚬 pigpigeazer follow

Everyone always jokes about the bad parts of classes but nobody ever talks about how generous the pandawa are, how honest iops are, how lively ecaflips are, and how empathetic sacriers are

🎃 sacriblo0ody follow

literally im always saying that!

🤖 athefogenesis follow

Except it always comes at the expense of mentioning that their religion makes them ignorant, addicts, or drives them to self harm?? We need to bully people who are hardcore about class tenets harder. You're destroying yourself for some all powerful reality-warping creature that doesnt give a shit about you

🤹 lancerclown420 follow

People like you give us atheist classes such a bad name. Everyone and everything in the world has a purpose, both those who follow a deity, and those who follow a primciple and

Actually they're a sufokian supremacist so nvmmmm

🧙 hupperschlongartor follow

THE NOTES ARE A FREE BLOCKLIST 💀

(637 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

.

#not osu #delete later #the thing is that. I never stopped hating him for ruining my life. #But the amount of hatred i feel ebbs and flows. Does it make sense? #This is stupid. So stupid... Like #oh nooo papycha... you neglected me as a child to the point of incurable mental diseases... #They would be better off if I was dead honestly #i need me and my dad to die. #I need everyone to die actually

(2 notes)

🦞 foggerfish follow

Apparently there's a big thing going on in demigod history community because Goultard (you know, the 4847372882843 or whatever year old son of Iop) undied again and was spotted somewhere around Astrubian border.

👽 cvt3-r41nb0w follow

MY WEDDING IS BACK ON NOBODY WILL HOLD ME BACK. He already married witches i can be the fourth

🗣️ thedarkwitchfromthatbook-is-gay follow

Isn't he gay

😈 osawhip666 follow

isn't he a mass murderer

🌌 somethingquietplace

Finally a reason to kill myself?

#I have to work with demigods a lot so... #Wish me luck in avoiding him like plague? #I had horrible experiences with him in the past #but talking about it would definitely lead someone to finding out who I am so... #I hope he kills himself and it sticks for once.

(447 notes)

🪐 8lunarcoeur8 follow

Heyyy

I wish people would stop rb'ing quiet's boufbowl gifsets considering the fact hes racist, misogynist, a freak, a bonta apologist (goes with the racism), has a fucking Maid, and likes some really weird things.

At least kickshoe has the excuse of being like a teen but this fucking guy is just something else.

🧙 hupperschlongartor follow

whatd he do? 🥺

🪐 8lunarcoeur8 follow

Says weird things about brakmar (x, x, x, x, x, x, x, and mooooore), is a freak (x, x), and a misogynist (x, x, x) (STOP STANNING KHAN KARKASS) also he's weird about huppermages and self described his class as an antihuppermage and even though it was like 200 years ago hes a wholeass immortal man and also is Still a weirdo about ecaflips.

(385 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

RE: the newest cancellation

I don't care about your feelings and I have nothing to apologize for.

#not osu

(1842 notes)

🦴 skellythievin follow

Not me honoring sram by stealing bones from the graveyard 😭

🦴 ougigou-woof-woof follow

LEGENDARY POST

#WHY DO I HAVE THE SAME PFP AS THE BONE STEALING SRAM

(59227 notes)

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

Yaaa antonio sadisski won as always!! They should put sadidas like him in the hall of heroes for our country ᕙ⁠ ⁠(⁠°⁠ ⁠~⁠ ⁠°⁠ ⁠~⁠)

👯 mirarynnnw follow

He sucks

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

Hi kill yourself :) /gen

#i was banned from using my phone but ill risk it all again to say that nobody will miss you!

(12 notes)

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S02E07

Took a break but we're back.

I like the episodes in the woods. I don't much care to go in the woods but I like watching them lol. The shots are really beautiful too.

That's a nice shot too lol. Although, what the actual hell is going on with... is that supposed to be water? Are these dust particles? What?

Note that there is no tattoo on his arm yet.

Rex: Why the fuck am I doing this, Charlie?

"Is this the dog I read about on the paper? The one who can find anything?" That's... not exactly what Rex does.

Parks and Recreation fans know.

They're already in love because I'd hit him with the trash bags.

I think Rex is leading the interrogation on this one.

Time for a hike!

Oh, Charlie. He's a city boy. And we also learn that he hates spiders. Sarah, on the other hand, was a Pathfinder which, aside from what the word implies, I have no idea what it entails.

Who made the executive decision for the shot to stay there for like ten seconds?

I believe Emmanuel Kabongo also guest starred in S6 in the superhero episode.

"They can't keep us here long. We're cops". Oh, they could very well keep you but who would want to?

Yay, Kendra! Finally.

"It's the 21st century, Charlie, you don't have to choose anymore". Words to live by.

Oh god, Sarah, that was so subtle.

Children, please. We're in the middle of an investigation.

The flirting continues in the lab. It's really a wonder they manage to solve so many cases when they are like this all the time.

The mug says MUGSHOT in it. Do you have any idea how long it took me to figure out that downstairs is a coffee shop? Also, how many precincts have a coffee shop in the ground floor? SJPD is living it up.

"That's right, I brought my dad this time and he's gonna kick your ass". Disregard the fact that they have like two years of age difference, whoever is the captain (or in charge) at a precinct immediately gets awarded with the "tired parent" title because they will be the person who will be holding the rest of them back from doing stupid shit.

"Are you posing?" "Google Earth. Always taking pics."

lol Charlie and Valentine fighting for who is the alpha team. I know who's ending up in jail, though.

Again, I would like a scene like this with Charlie and Sarah, please and thank you.

While Charlie was ultimately right, at some point there was no evidence to support his theory that Alia was innocent and not the culprit in all this. In other words, he was just being stubborn. Contrary to what many shows support, you can't lead an investigation based on your gut.

"You're the best cop I've ever known and I'm the best ranger you've ever known". Considering that you two don't exactly live in a metropolis, that's... insignificant.

Joe's "...otherwise it's not a nation worth protecting" line is good. I mean I don't want to write all of it but it's good.

That's a ferocious beast! So pretty, though.

Felt cute, might delete later.

Jesse asking Charlie to give his entire theory for Valentine being the culprit while Charlie is running and trying to catch his breath lol

Let Charlie have his angst moment! Don't inform him immediately that Rex is fine.

See, Valentine easily snuck up behind Best Cop.

I'm sure that Charlie and Kendra fucked after this episode, when Charlie went back to the woods to "check how the wolf was doing".

I love that Charlie doesn't want Sarah to realize how much of a total boor he is when it comes to art. Like she doesn't know! Don't worry, art knowledge is not your selling point.

Establishing "team as family". I actually like the subtlety of this one, I don't like it when in shows they keep saying it. Let it happen naturally.

I guess these are the best screenshots of these photos I've taken. 1080p, baby! I'll put these here as well since this has gotten too long once again.

[loopingpyre]

Yeah, fair enough on the needing more detail point, I sort of wanted to test the waters to see if you'd even care first, cause I wasn't gonna waste time typing out a whole thing if the notion of JRPGs being fundamentally flawed didn't interest you and then you deleted my ask. So I guess I'll now oblige and explain in more detail.

I've been playing a few of the SMT games because my girlfriend really likes them and I, being a good girlfriend (trying to!) want to show that I care about her interests. Prior to this I've only really played Persona 3 and 5 and Yakuza 7. For this, I played Soul Hackers 2, and Devil Survivor 1 and 2 (1 to Yuzu's ending, and 2 to Ronaldo's ending), and about an hour of SMT V, which I found boring, and she, having played the whole game (I'm pretty sure) agrees with me that it's boring, so I decided to not keep playing it (for now at least)

My main issue with most all of these games comes mostly threefold: the amount of time and commitment they take, the difficulty and in particular the manner in which it is imposed, and the heavily formulaic nature of their plots. These are sort of holistic issues, I guess, so I can't really neatly divide them, but I'll try.

First of all: the time commitment. Playing both Devil Survivors to a single ending took me around thirty to forty hours each, going off of my save files. (I was playing the 3DS versions, mind, and listening to all the voice acting, which surely extended the time played.) I understand that it gets faster on NG+, and in itself, this isn't exactly the biggest of deals, because video games in general take a long time (it's the way it is really), but JRPGs just feel like they take way longer than the average video game and this issue compounds when one considers the latter two flaws I've observed.

So, secondarily: The difficulty, and the way it's imposed. Soul Hackers 2 obviously is not a hard game, and there's not that much variance in its content, and it's not the longest of these sorts of games, either, so I wouldn't say it's the greatest offender here (using that term feels wrong...), but with Devil Survivor 1, I felt this the most. About 80 percent of the way through the game, which I'd generally found to be quite unchallenging for the most part, I found myself suddenly struggling against Belial (the fire demon). During a grinding session in which I was trying to level myself up so that I could weather my way through this (to my annoyance, as I found the grinding incessantly tedious, more on that later), my girlfriend looked over my shoulder, and said "why do your stats look like that?"

You see, my stats, at the time, all four, magic, vitality, agility, and uh... What was the fourth one. Strength! Yeah, um they were *all* at exactly 17 (give or take 1.) I explained to her, rather calmly, that I had done this because I couldn't really choose which of the four stats I wanted more of, and thought it would be best if I made all of these numbers perfectly balanced and equal.

This is an approach I almost always take in most any video game that offers any form of upgrade or skill tree: I struggle with overchoice, can't choose a priority to go for, so every time I have resources with which to upgrade, I just upgrade whatever is most recently neglected such that I have a generally well-rounded skill set and can do a bit of everything.

She, an SMT veteran, immediately went like, "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO "

And explained to me that the way I was *supposed* to do this, was to specialize in one area or another, magic or strength or tanking damage with high health, or whatever. To which I said "HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT!" She insisted I should have just known it, I guess? Anyway, I considered this a grievous design flaw that irreparably impaired my enjoyment of the game. As I did not have an old save file with which to revert my statting decisions, and did not wanted to restart the entire game, nor did I want to grind the same fucking goddamned shibuya battle over and over and over and over and over again for god knows how many hours until I somehow corrected my stats

I opted to use my (hacked) 3DS to install an external cheat which inflated my protagonist's level to 99 with all four stats at their maximum of 40. I did this because I had decided I hated how this game was balanced and wanted to finish it and no longer waste my time. I felt pleased with this decision, because I was playing through the bad ending in which the cast brute forces their way out of the lockdown and ruining the world, while myself brute forcing my way out of the game and ruining the game balance. *ahem* I mean, fixing the game balance

My girlfriend said "I'm glad you had fun ruining one of my favorite games :(((" In response, I opined that Devil Survivor would have been better if it were a straightforward visual novel.

While Soul Hackers 2 does not have this specific issue, given that Ringo's stats are all mostly preset by the game and you can only mildly boost them here and there, I did instead take umbrage with the way that the later floors of the Soul Matrix dungeon were organized around teleporters which teleport you from one island of the floor to another, with no clear sense of rhyme or reason to their routing. I considered these teleporters to be arbitrary and stupid, as they were frustrating, and demanded that I have the capacity for rote memorization of the layout and teleporter placement of an entire dungeon whose corners broadly look all the damn same. I called these a blatantly egregious example of "fake difficulty".

She warned me never to touch several of the older SMT games.

I booted up Devil Survivor 2, with my girlfriend's advice about specialization in mind. I enjoyed the game a lot more than Devil Survivor 1, but, for the sake of mitigating gameplay frustration, I pirated the DLC. I quickly realized I would not enjoy the grinding, even with the reduction of grinding that the DLC enables, and cheated to have infinite money so I could have more fun with the game. I went for Ronaldo's ending, because he's sort of a leftist and his voice acting makes him sound like Knuckles the Echidna from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I thought siding with "communist Knuckles the Echidna" was a very funny image

Anyway, across all three of these experiences, I generally wondered, "do I like these? do I like their stories? do I like their gameplay?" and I feel like the answer is broadly sort of... yes, sometimes, but generally no?

I kinda just don't really understand the appeal of being railroaded into repetitive tasks for the sake of increasing numbers that then decide whether or not you win, rather than like, your actual skill, which is just down to pressing the same buttons over and over. I get that part of the appeal is the long-term strategy of building your party, and that's valid and all, but I tend to very quickly get frustrated with it because often times I fail to intuit the correct strategy ahead of time, and the solution turns out to be "rewind the clock back several hours!" and I don't want to do that and have to redo all the work I did up to that point, and then potentially have to rewind again if I do it wrong.

So, the appeal is supposed to be the strategy, I guess, which just takes a lot of dedication that I don't have in me, but if I dial that down to make it easier, then the game's reduced to pressing more buttons, and, just isn't really fun at all in the way it's supposed to be. And that all might be fine if the story was worth the effort, but... is it?

All of these games have very thin narratives which all more or less boil down to "humanity good" vs "humanity bad" vs "humanity bad but sometimes good so it's worth it (sometimes)" ideological conflicts that all end up with killing one or another divine or cosmic entity with omnipotence of one or another variety, and like, cool, I guess, is that worth 50-100 hours of effort? Is that something I'm invested enough in to throw myself into an entire series, hell, an entire genre, of games for? I'm not really sure that it is, to me, so. Weh?

Is that really all that there is to this entire game genre? Like, outside of indie games that mostly have their own issues (they're all very derivatively ripping off Mother 3 and/or Undertale and/or Chrono Trigger and not generally bringing a lot of new mechanical ideas, and even still they just kinda find their way back to the issue of the grind not being that fun most of the time)

And my girlfriend has just argued to most of this that maybe I just don't like the games, and I shouldn't force myself to like them, and she'd like to please stop rehashing this argument with me, and maybe she's right, maybe I just don't enjoy JRPGs, and that's okay, but uh...

I don't know. I want to try and see what she sees in them and find out if I can really care about them the way she does. She has a Jack Frost plushie that I sometimes play with, and it's cute, and I want to care about him more the way she does, not just because he's cute but because I've played these games and had fun and know who he is and definitely don't hate his stupid little face aaahh I love him so much

and I keep inventing fun little lore for Frosty the Jack Frost plushie (she calls him Frosty) about how he sells stuff he stole to the Black Market which is owned by Black Frost, and he's planning to kill King Frost and overthrow the Frost Monarchy, and all that, and she seems to find that cute even though she keeps contradicting it with lore and trivia from the games and I keep going "well I dunno *in the back of my mind: but maybe I want to know*" and like

I'm sorry if this seems like an insane unhinged rant but I just really love my girlfriend and I think it'd hurt a little to have to give up on something she really loves, even if I know, intellectually, that she loves me more, and that that won't change if I don't like SMT, and it's okay if I don't like them.

But I want to like them. I genuinely do. I don't know how to like them and I don't know how to tell her I want to like them and am not trying to start a fight with her over something she loves. I don't know. Am I missing something?

for the record I kind of like a lot of things Soul Hackers 2 does and I think I'd like it a lot more if it was finished but that's a can of worms I maybe shouldn't open....

Holy shit this is so much and thank you so much also for caring enough for my opinion because i have a whole lot to say here, and I adore these games.

Let's break it down point by point.

Belial is fairly challenging, the game is hard. And I think your girlfriend has done you a severe disservice. If she wanted you to min-max your stats in a certain direction, she should have told you about that straight up. I can understand her immediate reaction due to it being uncommon, but how is that your fault? The game is actually designed for it anyway.

You're given party members that focus on different niches, Yuzu and Midori and Keisuke can all perform powerful magic offensive roles, Atsuro is a strong tank, Kaido has powerful offensive stats, and you share a skill pool, so having a less specialised build is really only going to make it that much harder if you try to make your protag the main attacker, which some SMT vets seem to instinctively do in these games. Having a mix means you could play the healer, carry an extra element or phys attack or status condition to cripple a foe.

I personally would have leant towards a code that lets you boost levels faster, but I think her response to cheating was unreasonable. I think the game is balanced well even if you make an even spread but you're trying to have fun and try her thing. Kind of rude to you really, because sometimes you just need to cheat, these games are HARD. Remember that escort mission earlier on? Kind of needlessly tricky.

There's a reason that new versions of these releases have additional easy modes. In some of their PS2 game promotion, Atlus PR famously said 'we get off on your tears'. That mentality has somewhat changed since. Whilst some, like I, say that the difficulty is kind of part of the point, there's only so much you should have to put up with. I actively reccommend cheats in some games as a way to ease you in, when they are so challenging.

(Were you playing the DS version? The Yuzu ending certainly isnt a 'bad ending' on 3ds. The 8th day makes it one of my fave endings. Trying to complete every ending is a fool's endeavor in my opinion, and you should only lean towards what you think is best. Maybe look up an ending guide on the offchance the cool ending you want is hidden in some way so you never have to touch the game again unless you actually want to. The point is about you making Your Choice.)

Moving along, Ronnie my beloved. Love that guy, his route is easily the best. I love Soul Hackers 2 despite it's frustratingly flaws of 'they ripped half the game out and sold it as day 1 dlc' and 'the fucking soul matrix', and a lot of people just dismiss it out of hand based on early dungeon design and miss out on the way it deals with it's cast. Im so glad you can SEE IT.

Within many Shin Megami Tensei games, the stat grinding difficulty is the point insofar as you are fighting a world that is falling apart and wants you dead. And even so, you keep fighting and surviving. These titles can be rather samey as they go over their various aspects of humanity over and over, but thus can they really be made a representative of the JRPG genre? What about Pokemon, which is about adventuring and bonding with your creatures? SMT has a distinct theme they stick to that they repackage in different flavours. Fuck it, play old ones and cheat in them. Load up on macca and buy a gazillion healing items to cut down the grind and overall playtime.

I've noticed a distinct absence of the Persona games too? Which is strange given how they all differ from traditional smt in terms of theming.

My favourite RPGs are 'The World Ends With You' and 'The Caligula Effect 2'. Entirely different from SMT and dont focus on 'humanity' in that way at all and they absolutely aren't representative of more mainstream JRPGs.

(sidenote, what are your favourite RPGs out of curiosity? I can probably help you hunt down some specific titles that you would like more?)

I adore your Jack Frost lore. Why can't that work in canon? Little fairy friend SHOULD overthrow the frost monarchy!

(and that sort of stuff is encouraged in Atlus' other series Etrian Odyssey, which is a dungeon crawler where you make a team of customised guys (you can start anywhere).

I think the only thing you can really do is play more, but i dont think you should push yourself either or you could burn out and appreciate it less. I'm sorry that I don't have magical advice that will solve that conundrum.

Thank you so much for coming to me though, it means a lot and I hope this ramble does anything for you. Im trying to check on my phone that I covered everything in your post and Im so sorry if I missed anything (please point it out if so).

Best of luck?

[hot-take-tournament]

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT

PRE-PRELIMINARY #63

"Prev tags" should never have become a thing.

[JUSTIFICATION UNDER THE CUT]

Pre-preliminaries will be used to determine what qualifies as a hot take. Propaganda is encouraged!

Also, remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure! (exposure like when you’re exposed to the fact that the KISS Scooby Doo crossover does actually exist, scarring you for life)

"Prev tags" is just annoying, inefficient, only works sometimes, and just dumb as fuck. Like, if someone tells you a funny story, and you wanna relay it to someone else, you're gonna be like "Hey, this person told me a funny story! I'm gonna relay it to you." You WOULDN'T go up to someone and be like "GO FIND THIS PERSON WHO TOLD ME A FUNNY STORY." Like, holy shit that's just dumb. The scavenger hunt aspect simply is not worth it. In my experience, it NEVER is worth it. It just puts me in a bad mood. Plus, what if it's a long post? You want people to have to scroll up and down and up and down just to get to those tags? Holy shit, no! That's just irritating!

And people like to claim 'Oh, prev tags is an INTEGRAL feature to the site!" NO IT IS NOT. It started popping up in 2021. The first time I remember seeing it, it was a text post, and everyone was going "prev" and the OP's tags were just a "spike trap" joke, where it told people to prev tags them. THAT IS THE ORIGIN. Prev tags isn't an ancient feature from the era of SuperWhoLock that we cannot leave behind- in fact, in posts FROM that era, people would copy-paste or screenshot tags and commonly be like "Why would you leave this in the tags?" Prev tags can't do that!! We steal tags here, sir! Posting someone else's tags in the body of the post has been part of the site's culture for AGES!

Not to mention- prev tags has really bad archival issues. Say you're on a post, and there's something in the tags you consider a great addition, so you go "prev" along with the rest of your tags for posts like these. A month later, the person you "prev"d has deactivated for whatever reason, or maybe they've deleted the post. Those tags are gone. They are just GONE. You can't get them back, you can't view them again, the tags are completely gone. Meanwhile, screenshotting or copy-pasting the tags preserves them.

(This is, to a lesser extent, worse for me, since I have ADHD, which negatively impacts my memory. So no, I do not automatically remember my hilarious tags.)

Many people like to claim "Oh, that's not the point of it, prev tags is for privately telling the person who left the tags you appreciate them!" Which, first of all if they don't like prev tags, that'll just tick them off. But second of all... If you wanna tell them you liked their tags, message them??? A friendship of mine started and persists because my friend messages me posts I've tagged like "Good tags" or smth like that. That would not have happened if I'd just been "prev tags"d.

And if anything, prev tags decreases communication between us. That friend of mine and I have commonly had conversations about those tags, since they're most often related to blorbos. And our friendship is stronger because of that! If they'd just been like "prev" that wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have had all those great conversations. I wouldn't have that friend. I know, messaging people scary, but I highly doubt people are gonna find being messaged about how awesome their tags were irritating. Please, just actually talk to EACH OTHER instead of talking in the tags! Subject yourself to the mortifying ideal of being known, it will reward you!

I'll die on this fucking hill. Out of any hill, I will die here.

[omgkalyppso]

I posted this before but deleted it both because I was embarrassed and because I was worried I'd severely fucked up Astarion's age for the nth time, originally referenced from This Post. But I've seen many more analyses and I think it's right. I think it is. Anyway!

EDIT: I DID GET HIS AGE WRONG because that is the post I meant to reference. But I'm not fixing it. 232.

I was tagged by @luinen-bluewater to complete this far simpler ship meme: otp, ot3/4.

Here is the template I actually used: ot3. Here's the otp version.

I'll tag a few people to complete any of the templates referenced: Luinen, @the-eldritch-it-gay, @vlwv, @tadpole-apocalypse, @boghermit, @lemonbronze, @littleplasticrat and YOU.

I'll put the above image chopped up below the cut so it's easier viewing for the curious. And I'll ramble a bit more (bg3 spoilers, discussion of vampirism and character deaths).

In my headcanons, Astarion neither remains a spawn nor becomes the Vampire Ascendant, he becomes a vampire, and some hundreds of years later he turns Étoile to a vampire as well (this post / these headcanons need reviewing after the epilogue changes with the Crown, but we'll see).

With this in mind, I was thinking of Halsin being the longest of their lovers and how Étoile could possibly handle his death:

Étoile and Astarion occupied on some adventure / business or other, and when they return, an unaffected or perhaps impatient messenger has come to deliver news of Halsin's death. And it is so long after the others of their relevant, initial, adventuring party has passed (or maybe not. Lae'zel is a wild card (no aging on the astral plane)). Still, i can imagine one of them snapping. I think it's more interesting if it's Étoile, saying aloud that the messenger is mistaken, that surely the message is that Halsin's ill and is calling to see them a final time — Astarion's near shouting in embarrassment and worry, telling the messenger to go, calling Étoile's name, grabbing their arm until Étoile says loudly that they heard them. They heard what they said. And also sends the poor messenger away.

But then I started considering an alternative which I felt was ooc for Halsin from the base game but which I think is more possible / within the scope of his character after the addition of the epilogue. Reminder that Étoile is a paladin of the neutral evil goddess Auril, started bg3 as neutral good but whom I consider neutral evil, and is an Oathbreaker by the end of their adventure:

Halsin at like 820 or older, life expectancy 700-1000, veering wildly between peace with the natural order of things and intense discomfort with things that feel unfinished, the way they always do. And sometime with Étoile leaned against his chest he speaks of Silvanus, the Oakfather, of children and elders in all families of creatures have come and gone, of how his druidic order has changed more slowly than a tree spreads its roots, and how never in all that time did Étoile ask him to abandon his god and his (god's) comfort for the sake of vampirism and eternity. Fondly, expecting Halsin to imagine it an irritation after his speech, Étoile recalls that Astarion did, three hundred or so years ago. Étoile points out that they know the comfort they found in their worship, and they would never have sought to steal that from him (Halsin). To be a vampire is unnatural, lost to his Oakfather. Halsin points out that he has felt that Étoile has wanted to ask before, even if it has always remained unsaid, in the emptiness in their chest (lack of heartbeat), in the slant of their mouth when his (Halsin's) movement is broken with age, in how they've (Étoile has) breathed in his silver hair the more it's overcome him, something that felt respectful once, but now he's past where his end should have been, and the temptation of rekindling old strengths, the hope of another thousand years, through vampirism, shames him (Halsin) greatly. The selfishness of an old mind. Why wouldn't it have felt like a possibility a hundred years ago, two hundred, more? How could he dare to think of continuing a protection of his forest, of caring for his kin, if he lost all connection to them, and even fears what makes them the same in their morality so much that he would dare forsake it. If he was going to lose his faith, why wouldn't he have done so when he was younger and different, except that he was stronger then, in body and in mind. And yet what difference would there be, feasting upon the wild in the woods? And Étoile would be blunt about the differences, and about how there are even laws now, that they helped put in place. "They" could punish them both greatly for this, but the transformation itself would be their shared shame. He could be their first spawn, and perhaps their only, but if he wanted this now — that it was no corruption of age, just a changed heart. And they would happily accept him into their home if all beasts and men turned from him as a decree from his Oakfather -- but he would have to be sure, because the fallout could be immeasurable. Étoile would try to do it permissably, but they would turn Halsin in secret, if need be. And what if "they" were like. fucking no???? and to ensure you don't do this thing we're going to keep you sealed, either in an area or in a fucking coffin until your druid has passed. (Astarion would lose his fucking mind.)

Abbreviated:

Halsin: what if i've lived long enough to see myself become the villain. Étoile: well my ship has sailed, and you know, if i meet you in hell then it's not hell

I think though that Halsin's village would have warm, clean shelters under the ground, just below the surface as if to shelter from storms, but well-used and familiar to vampires after years of shared knowledge and resources. They'd be glad to claim him.

OH! And Étoile's birthday is Oct 20th (their date of creation during early access was Oct 20 2020), I gave Astarion Sept 22nd (first day of autumn), and Halsin May 13th (he seems like a Taurus and I figured he'd be worn and irksome about having a birthday that often falls on a day associated with bad luck (Friday the 13th)).

[gibblegabber]

2o24 recap! ...sorta

all previous years got deleted for location concerns and i won't say much from this year. half of the year was Not Good. but the other half was Pretty Good?

stayed very close to my favorite cartoon for the first half of the year. i was very, VERY sick for a good chunk of it, and genuinely having online friends around often and having cartoons to focus on is what got me through it. and my husband, who put up with A LOT of bullshit dealing with a sick wife for months. also Kick Buttowski's attitude is infectious, you feel like you can do anything when you're in that mindset, and it helped lots! joined a KB:SD server and made some new friends. i met Kick's VA at a local convention too!!

an arcade opened up near us and i spend, uhhh,,, a lot of time there. usually once a week, sometimes more if people are around, but i have a consistent DDR schedule now both on cab and on home setup, and it slaps. it SLAPS. i fucking love DDR and when i get too old and my legs stop working i might as well just drop dead tbqfh.

met Khaliar and Ginger this year! i gave them drawings and letters written in Irken and we fooled around in a bookshop for a few hours, i was too sick to stick around in the city very long so my other plans fell thru but i'm happy the stars aligned to let me meet them at least!!

in the spring i got SO sick that i stopped eating, sleeping and driving far. almost lost my job from being unable to work. it was a virus at first and then anxiety took the reigns and things just got? really bad? i still can't travel because of it. BUT i love food again and can sleep easily and all things considered, we have to look at the bright side and take victories where we can. they're small for me compared to my peers. but i'll keep building on it in 2025.

over the summer we had ARTFIGHT!! and a sudden (?) WOY obsession!! joined another server and watched all of season 2 with Vermi and Hux and a bunch others, it was SO fun! affected who i attacked in AF for sure lmao, sorry to most of my Irken and Vortian bookmarkssss aaaaa (but still got a Vort Mass attack in >:3!)

the fall was probably when i got back to feeling mostly normal again. we had just closed on a new condo, so there were pressing matters to deal with and it helped shake me out of my own head and focus on those things. lots of construction and 700 things going wrong later, and we moved in! it's awesome, we lived in what was basically a single room before, and this is sooooo much more comfortable and it's been so fun to decorate and make our own.

the fall has also been a mini Weeb Phase(TM), i fucking guess. got really into Dandadan thanks to my wonderful friends, but i was PAINFULLY into it to the point that waiting for updates was just sooo hard. so i asked for recommendations for anime/manga to fill the void and instead of TAKING those SUGGESTIONS and WATCHING/READING THEM i instead went back to my favorite anime of all time. which is. regrettably. Osomatsu-san. truly the garbage dump of anime. but i missed the boys so. here we are. i um, bought a hoodie (got 3 of them now), and figures, and DVDs, and i can't fuckignnnnn stop, and uhhh aaaaaaaa anyway. also played lots of webfishing and minecraft with friends, it's been A Lot of fun and feels a lot less, idk. alone? than the beginning of the year felt.

goals from 2023 for 2024 included find a new place to live (done!) and travel around the northeast more (not done!)

definitely need to push the envelope for 2025, or i'll be stuck physically in the same place forever. i was happy in my job last year but not now, so i've been casually applying. bigger place means higher bills so, aughghghh. i still want to learn Japanese, which is extremely difficult with zero self-discipline and eternal distractions. i started in 2022 and then got distracted by like, World's Longest Invader ZIM Obsession and dropped it. so i'll try but it just is what it is unless i can get into local courses with grades on the line.

uhhhmmmm appreciate my friends more. i love them soooo much. have fun. be less afraid of sharing my writing. stop being worried about getting cancelled over fictional characters, they are god damn fictional. HAVE. FUN.

[lil-melody-moon]

Since you were so kind to start the weekend asking session™️ I wanted to ask you a similar question: How did you realize that writing was a passion of yours? And since when? Are you considering your recent activity a good period or a bad period for your creativity?

Kissies❤️❤️❤️❤️🐥

Hehe, I kind if forgot about it, but shhhh 😂

Oh I didn't realize writing is my passion until recently. I've always treated is as one of many hobbies of mine, playing video games always taking over it, but now that I'm trying to quit gaming, focus on books and studies more, I find myself enjoying writing more than ever.

The "His Sweet Candy" story being the proof of that. The last time I was this happy about writing was back when I was writing on Quotev from 2015 to 2022 I think. There are works from 2015 to 2017 there are the ones I've enjoyed writing.

From 2017 up until 2023 writing felt like a chore that I had to do, rather than something I wanted to do. There is a gap in publishing from 2022 to 2023 for a reason. I had to gather myself and finally grow the fuck up. Those years are also very messy, but I'll not dwell on that, it's in the past. I will put a link to my quotev account later if you want to check how different I was those years ago - I hope you won't get a heart attack, this is the time I was mostly lost in fiction (stories from 2017 and foreword). Yugioh stories are not from this time period, the letter are.

But that wasn't when I started writing. I think my first written work I did was at the age of 8. It was a tiny story about a rabbit (I think it was about the one from "Winnie the Pooh"). What kicked in the writing tho was not that. I actually have a story with writing because 8 years old me saw the death of her favorite character in tv and tiny me so wanted to change the ending that she swore she'll learn writing and change that and I actually did that, but deleted the once written work in 2022. This like crossed the line in my writing and made it more mature, so as it is now.

The period of writing I'm in now feels just like the time of writing I had at the beginning. No rush, no pressure, I write what I want, it's great 💜 And I've gained the courage to write more explicit stuff - thank you, Anja 💜 - and also I've found the happiness in writing something for someone. The joy I see after they read it is something I can die for!

Sending much much love 💜

[hypocriticaltypwriter]

(Mikey inspired me so here we go: more Mikayla info for ya)

She has little to no vocal training for her voice (Jason Patric already has a sexy voice. Why the hell would I want to alter perfection??). She speaks a bit softer, but since she's a bit more reserved, nobody notices the difference. I once read a post about a trans woman getting compliments from a man for her deeper voice. He found it far more attractive that lighter, babyish voices. That's Mikayla. Also considering it's the 80s and everyone in their mother smokes, she can blend in more since more people have a bit of a rasp to their voices.

Speaking of the 80s! If we're going by period accuracy, then in 1987 she identifies as "transsexual". It isn't until the modern world comes into play where she alters her vocabulary to "transgender".

Loves being girly but fucking HATES sitting like a girl. She cannot believe how uncomfortable it is to sit with her legs crossed and tucked. You can pry the man spread from her cold, dead hands. Lucy constantly scolds her to not sit "frog-legged".

Whenever she needs to work out for gym or cheer practice she puts some Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, or Whitney Houston on her cassette player. She's definitely apart of the 80s aerobics movement. Jane Fonda ain't got nothing on Mikayla.

Her favorite movie is The Goonies because she thinks both Andie and Brand are attractive (totally not putting my own preferences on her or anything 👀💦)

Nearly cried the first time her girl friends offered to head to the restroom with her. She had no idea girls were so close and considerate.

Biggest regret she has is not punching the living hell out of her father before Lucy packed her and Sam up for their move.

Instead of picking up trash on the beach for work like in the movie (because the deleted scene only has them picking men to do the work) she tries out a few shifts at a local seafood restaurant to make some money.....before she keeps oversleeping due to the vampirism she gets later lol

Girlie just had naturally flawless skin. All her cheerleader friends have a ten step routine and Mikayla just shocks them with a simple wash and drugstore moisturizer combo. I think she gets it from Lucy.

Mikayla is literally the woman I want to be and more YOURE TELLIJG ME JUST SLATHERS ON SOME DRUGSTORE MOISTURIZER AND SHE LOOKS THAT GORGEOUS??? I'm not sure if I'm in love or jealous

I feel like if she ever gave anyone a compilent [me please me please m-] with her voice they're KNEES BUCKLING AND FALLING TO THE FLOOR

Theyre gonna have to lock me up before I start going crazy you guys I'll explode

[humanmorph]

post about PAL 41. yeah you know which bit. (I deleted this post by accident and had to entirely rewrite it and I am JUST posting it now. might change some stuff later if need be)

First of all "No, you dont get it Dre. I want you to FAIL" bitch me toooooooo

The Future reveal was extremely good. what a strong visual. after everything else that happened, it's still this that lingers with me... God... And at least to me a complete surprise. It's really great as a parallel to the other side of the game with the Axiom as a being unlike (but not entirely) Divines, precisely because they've excised humans/synthetics from their creation and being... and Future is not that and can't be that but it is able to wield itself, no Elect necessary. (In a different post I once said I wasn't sure if that had ever happened before, and I completely forgot about Liberty&Discovery. I did not this time.) There's a lot of different things going on with Divines this season, and some spanning back from PARTIZAN too - I think it's impressive that nontheless it all coheres. I already saw someone put this in a way I really liked, maybe I'll try to find that post again later.

I have thoughts about Figure going back to/from their introduction in PARTIZAN, but it all feels a little pointless. The crux of it is that I would've found the character/their arc more interesting played in a slightly different way, and Dre didn't want to do that, or they would've. Usual disclaimer it's their character etc. and I do see why this is the way it is and how it fits together... I have a whole bit about it in my notes app somewhere I don't feel like dropping in here, but in the end they're just not my favourite PC. Which feels kind of mean(?) to say when they just died, but it does color how I feel about this...? It's not like I'm particulary sad, and I'm also not happy about it. Kind of grimly saying Hrm!, I guess. And I did really love their bonds to other player characters. Back in PZN too, I really liked some of the conversations with Kalar expecially, and in PAL the Cori-Figure relationship was an absolute standout, and I liked them asserting themself more generally post-Perennial too... And then throughout this season they've also always been intrisically connected to NPCs I either really really loved or found super compelling. And then they blew up I am excited about Cori getting to deal with Yet More Grief! Expecially considering their gravity clocks - she's aware that they saw her as someone to take care of, vaguely parental, and the clock is about that being somewhat frustrating to her. But she's also clearly glad that they care about her, and she does love them too, so... Well. I think it'll be awesome : ) Kind of wondering what Clem is up to but also she's not really on my radar currently. 👍 And Gur. Oooooh Gur is So Fucked. Completely even Beyond being fucked. It's grim. Everytime I thought it couldn't get worse for him, he's really been through the wringer, huh?, it does. it does get worse.

Well with all that. I'm still not sure how I feel about this as an end to Figure's arc. It's sudden, it's senseless, it's cruel... And it does hit REALLY well as a moment/scene, because Friends at the Table knows how to do the damn thing (the song really got me. The way it stops suddenly), I just don't know how I'll look back on it going forward. & It's the same for Gur (moreso, even) in that it's not like I can't see how this is extremely compelling & the way it works. The way they are working at it and how it frames both characters' whole arc and past decisions... It's just that I also am unhappy about it. Emotionally. I generally think it's worth it to think about why that might be and after mulling it over it's pretty simple: this is very bleak and I'm not able to enjoy that right now. I'm happy (well.) to leave it at that for now. And it really does depend on future developments too. I felt a similar way (not quite the same) about Valences death - and I do occasionally wonder about a shape of the story with them (and hell, Chrysanth) in it - but there was a lot of things I really loved that came out of their death, be it character developments or world changes, that in the end, I do quite like it. What doesn't really hit for me is. Or rather... I feel strange about "small wheels are breaking". Deeply sad to me in a way I can't quite say how yet. Maybe I've misunderstood "the Wheel breaks" this whole time, which like, that's on me, but I'm not sure where to go with it. Waiting & curious about "knock-on effects" for now. Perennial.... : (

And gurrrrrrrrr. fuck meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee he absolutely cannot catch a break ever in his life/death. oooooohhhh my goodddddddd I do commend Keith for trying. I really do. The moment he was like "Where is real Gur?" I had the tiniest bit of hope. Like yeah PLEASE let Keith do some fucking bullshit. Need that rn. Alas. The dice

Like the world if Eclectic hadn't failed that roll...... fuck the dice for realllllll... [COUNTER/WEIGHT SPOILERS. still about PALISADE though] I JUST listened to Mako grab that damn thing in the C/W finale. A WEEK ago I did that. Oh it's just so cool to put next to each other, both Future itself but also the act of taking it (or failing to do so. And also of course Gur, who himself stole Future) and the way it then so completely shaped itself/it's presence/powers after who carried. That's why it's Zeal for Mako and Ambition for Orth (which I was thinking about the other day when I was looking at the fatt.wiki page... it's titled Zeal and that's literally just the case because Mako grabbed it first. If Aria had gotten it like she was supposed to by winning the auction we would probably not know about that other stuff!). There's even a fun way Future's change is reflected in the mechanics: because they were playing Firebrands there literally wasn't a roll to take it. There was no failure, because it would/could not do anything but be wielded. [C/W SPOILERS end.] Though it's interesting to think about that Future isn't a name given by themself either, though they might've genuinely adopted it. It's the Principality's. I've always loved this bit about Motion from PZN 33:

AUSTIN: [...] These things that we call Divines, whether we think of them as our weapons, or our highways, or our saints or gods or mirrors: they aren't ours at all. No matter how well we shop for names to place on their frames, our words are just ill fitting costumes.

But I don't know!!! I wish they'd gotten to talk to it!! It's so interesting to me the way Austin talked about the Ring (since Keith referenced LOTR) being tired of being worn, the Ring wearing itself. Again, extremely cool to me! Also that it's way to... protect itself (? Eclectic took a peril from Divine Blast & Figure. yeap) is still about the thing they detached itself from, which is what do YOU envision. What could YOU do with me.

I did really like the power of the Divine Opposition going through Eclectic causing an earthquake "it's like a rage boiling up in you, maybe". That was sick as fuck. And I really am so curious about Delegates relationship to Divines... I've said this before... I think it's very interesting that Eclectic doesn't fw it, but what do other Delegates think? How do they feel about weaving magic? Do they know to what extend they even have that power? Keith said Eclectic had never weaved magic before, which isn't true, he did, to get into a bathroom after stalking a random stranger (Connadine) (this is still extremely funny.), but in a sense that really is a very mundane way to use divine magic. And to have this literally seismic event happen because of the power coming from a part of himself that he already doesn't connect with, but DID reach out to in a critical moment in opposition to himself, and he didn't have any control over it at all? That's cool to me!!! I don't really have a neat point to make here, I just really want more about Delegates. It somewhat depends on Eclectic making it to next season or not, since I'm guessing the focus will shift away from Palisade as a place. But I just don't want them as a group to vanish from view, whether we have a player character representing them or not (......... Branched............ If you're out there.................. Call me.........).

Last thing but when the computer smell was mentioned I immediately thought of the Afflictions. Was this just because the other scene prominently featuring a smell ("AUSTIN: But it smells like Valence here. ALI: Shut the fuck up. What are you talking about?") had one of those in it? Yes absolutely. It's also a little wishful thinking, because I like them a lot.

[azems-familiar]

🥤🐇🦷🍅 for the writer ask? :O

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

i'll do ffxiv for this since that's the fandom we share. this is a pretty popular emetraha fic but i'm obsessed with how it's written. i also have to, obviously, highlight @thewitchofelpis for their DELIGHTFUL hythazemet and hythwolemet!

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 

i know reader inserts are all the rage for some people (and i respect that) but i hate reading them and i will never write them, lol. ocs on the other hand....sometimes i wish the oc printer in my brain would turn off. what am i supposed to do with all these guys. they're not even paying rent.

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

so this isn't a trick i use anymore, because i've mostly outgrown the need for it, but when i was a new writer doing nanowrimo for the first time (an event which focuses on word count/quantity over quality/get the novel written so you can edit it later) (as a side note i no longer endorse them given everything that's happened but the event was an important part of my life for multiple years so there's that), something i really struggled with was constantly writing and erasing things. some advice i was given was if i found a sentence or a paragraph or a scene or whatever didn't work, instead of deleting it, turn the text red (or another color), leave it there, and move on. you could probably also cut it out and stick it on another doc, if you preferred doing that. but that let me write without fear of deleting everything, or fear of fucking it up, because i had that stress-free option, and sometimes i could come back to those bits and pieces and use them for something else. even if i didn't, those were still words i wrote to be proud of and worth keeping around because i wrote them!

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

i'm not going to answer this one, and here's why: i struggle deeply with self-image and one of my worst issues that i'm constantly working on is my own tendency to consider everything i write bad, to not see the positive elements in it, and to need to be talked out of erasing whole swathes of story when i'm not happy with them. (you see why the above tip was helpful for me when i was younger.) while concrit is an incredibly useful thing, it's something i only personally engage in in specific mindsets, and the constant critical urge is something i'm attempting to train out of myself - and so since i already read my own writing through a heavily critical lens, this is something i'm not going to encourage in myself further!

[saintsir4n]

6. Parentsite

WARNINGS: MENTAL HEALTH, PEDOPHILIA, VIOLENCE

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

(@gossipgirl tweeted)

GREETINGS, followers. Gossip Girl here. Your one and only, period. There are obvious upsides to being the children of the world's most influential people. But the biggest? The luxury of choice. While the majority of the world has little to no say in what they can and cannot do. the elite get to choose whatever they want whenever they want it. Choice in where they live, what they eat, who they speak to Even choice in who they deign to spend their time with. But there's one thing not even they get a say in. No one gets to choose their parents. And as pour moi? Consider me the au pair you never knew you needed. You can come cry on my shoulder in secret any time. And you'll want to. Because no matter where you come from or who you are, family is anything but easy, and no one survives it alone.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"And sent," Winnie grimaced at what she emailed to a certain police department.

"It's done?" she heard Ginny say from her phone.

"It's done," Winnie reassured as she walked down the sidewalk of the Upper East Side, Caesar was 5 feet away from her. Her parents told her to get out of the house before Roger and Jodie Menzies arrived. Whatever their meeting was about she wasn't allowed to be around and so she left. "One step closer to that perv to be dragged into a 4 by 4."

Ginny squealed loud enough for Winnie to adjust her airpods, "Can't wait. But I have a question. You send that video to GG, would she upload it?"

"I mean she's all about exposing our true selves, why not post about a perv?" but that did get Winnie thinking. She glanced at the video in her files, finger hovering over the share icon before she saw the time. "Gin, I gotta go, a Birkin is waiting for me to pick it up so I'll tell you what happens later."

She hung up after Ginny said goodbye and kept walking.

"Miss Dubois," Caesar called out, halting her in her stride.

She swivelled on her feet, glancing up to see his lips twitch as if he wanted to say more.

"Caesar?"

His shielded eyes darted around, noting there was no threat and so he started, "Not to speak out of turn, I am here to serve and protect you. Therefore, it's in my job description to say, that apprehending the video you speak about is not in your best interest. What it details is immoral of course, which is why you should not have it. It's child p –"

"Relax, I'll delete it," She snapped, slightly taken aback as she had never heard him speak this much.

"You've sent it off already. Just be mindful of what ensues," his deep voice warned, "Hermès is this way."

He practically gestured for her to start walking and when she did, she cursed herself. "Fuck.

___

Winnie lay in her bed, trying to keep her composure still overwhelmed by what she discovered about her parents, but she wasn't scared of them, she was terrified, though she would never admit that. Crying in Monet's arms was the worst in her opinion. Winnie opened up, and let the whirlpool of emotions spill onto Monet. She was vulnerable far more than she ever had been and she didn't know what to do.

Monet had invited her over to her house 5 times since then.

Camile De Haan reminded Winnie of her mother, yet her marriage to Grayson seemed warmer, unlike Margaux and Luc's. They welcomed the Dubois Heiress despite her public socio-political views because old money was old money.

"Do you want take out?" Monet questioned, pausing the old Hollywood movie they were watching. Some Like It Hot and they just loved watching Marilynn.

Winnie lay across her body, head on Monet's chest as nails trailed her scalp. It was relaxing, very relaxing and sort of sweet.

Winnie mumbled against her, "Can you cook?"

A smirk tugged at Monet's lips, no, she rarely cooked, she had chefs for that, "So is that a yes?"

"Japanese or Chinese?"

"The former."

"Say please."

Winnie reluctantly grumbled, "Please."

Monet grinned and practically squealed, earning a small smile.

"Are you sure you don't want to be around your old friends?" Winnie suddenly asked. They were supposed to be at school reading out extracts in AP literature.

Monet scoffed, "I only liked Luna and Julian, you know that." she paused after receiving a stiff nod, "And they're all flocking to Audrey, catering to her every whim because of what happened to her mom."

Kiki Hope was in the hospital and that's where her daughter remained, occasionally dancing between there and school. Winnie was momentarily envious of Audrey, her mother was ill and Margaux wasn't.

Sigh.

"Right," Winnie breathed out.

"Besides, I've been banished. GG posted about you and I," Monet wasn't resentful of it.

Winnie disagreed, "Barely, but your ties to Bianca and Pippa were the source for your banishment." her phone went off with a text from her mom, and Monet noticed her tense. "The parentals are finally catching on to PSATs, I passed and yet it's a problem."

"I got higher than you, jealous?" Monet teased getting more B's than C's this time.

Winnie huffed out a chuckle, "Not as jealous you'll be when you hear that Calvin Klein wants me to their #bereal campaign after Doja Cat got cancelled because her chat room streams."

Monet gasped, "Wait, are you serious? Not about Doja, well know she's trolling."

Winnie mused, "The founder and current CEO says that my realism and unfliterdness suit their brand. #americaisbetterthanfrance, Margaux will be pissed for sure."

"Do it, to hell with mothers," Monet encouraged.

Winnie finally smiled and agreed.

___

"You will not be doing that campaign; it ruins our company's brand," Margaux ranted the next day as Winnie readied herself for school.

The Dubois matriarch discovered the proposition made to her daughter by one of her PR workers and to say she was livid would be an understatement.

"Because it's French? My French fans love Calvin Klein." Winnie trailed after her mother, knowing full well it wouldn't damage Velocity's image, it would only better hers and yet somehow it was an issue.

It was always an issue.

Ever since she found out the truth that her parents covered up the deaths of over 200 people 2 decades prior they've been coming down hard on her, despite not knowing. The cameras were off that night, and Winnie made sure they were.

Margaux dismissed her, "I couldn't care less about what they do or do not like, your grades are abysmal."

"I passed my PSATs," Winnie tried to not let her shoulders slump in the presence of her mom.

Her father wasn't around, and having more meetings with the Van Der Bilts and other politicians was where his attention was nowadays.

"You barely scraped by, don't be delusional, I spoke to your teachers," Margaux hissed, now turning to face her confused daughter.

"When?"

Margaux folded her arms, "After I heard you using your father and me as an excuse to talk to your concubine during classes."

Winnie's jaw clenched, "It was one time."

Monet took a step forward, "Several, so do not lie to me. Now, when you go to school, a friend of mine is dropping by to have lunch."

"Who is this friend exactly?" Winnie let out a breath when her mother's attention was called elsewhere.

The front door was pulled open by two servants and walked in Helena Bergmann. And like the former model she was, she sauntered passed, legs long in stride and balanced like Naomi.

"Lena," Margaux met her in the middle of the foyer and kissed her cheeks.

"Margs," Helena smiled at her old friend, letting her German accent slip, Then saw the studious teenager eying the pair, "Winifred, haven't you grown even more enchanting, like your mother."

Both Dubois' were deeply dissatisfied by that comparison, but the youngest allowed Helena to kiss her cheek.

"Thank you, Miss Bergmann."

"Oh please, call me Helena, you and Otto have been friends since... What do Americans call it? Kindergarten, ah the word they stole from the Germans."

"Oh I'm sure the Germans made sure they had no choice but to use it," Winnie retorted, ignoring the insinuation that she and Obie were ever friendly.

"Yes, I'm sure too," Helena nodded, then took her agitated friend's hand, "Blowouts first, then I've booked a table at Tiffany's."

"I heard you did that and I made sure to book out the entire room so we won't be bothered," Margaux's smile wavered the moment she locked eyes with her daughter,  "Winifred shouldn't you be on your way? You were absent yesterday, I would hate to get another call about your misdeeds whilst I'm enjoying myself."

Winifred was handed her school bag and phone by Caesar who guided her to the door, "Bye Mom, and have fun, Helena."

___

"You were right," Winnie slammed Ginny's locker shut after she came over.

"Excuse me?" the blonde put away her lipstick and blinked slowly,  "say that again, I must've misheard you."

"GG hasn't posted about creepy Caparros," Winnie explained, then was confused at the lack of response, "Gin."

"What I'm talking about is the fact I was right and you admitted it," Ginny said smugly.

"Oh fuck off."

"But that's not all," Ginny paused and leaned closer after seeing Miss Keller walk passed "Apparently Mr Caparros was fucking more seniors," she caught her friend's eyes widening, "GG's not posting this and I've sent multiple tips." Both teens appeared confused by the anonymous accounts' silence on the matter, "And please tell me you've deleted that video from your phone. It may be as protected as the military's but that doesn't mean anything."

"I've deleted it, Caesar had to be on the one to remind me what it truly is," Winnie rushed out, holding up her phone and adjusting her necklace.

"Aww my favorite baldy."

"Don't let Wholian hear you say that."

Ginny just laughed in response, but her amusement phased quickly when Max strolled past, purposefully avoiding eye contact with not just her but Mr Caparros who stood at the end of the corridor.

But soon the Wolfe teen stopped when Winnie called out his name, grinning when she gestured for him to turn around.

Several police officers briskly walked through the school, alerting many students, some looked guilty others anxious about why they were there, to begin with.

Zoya, Obie and Julian got up from their seats in the courtyard to see. Audrey – who was on the phone to the hospital - ended the call and nudged Aki to look. Monet just came out of a classroom after hearing the commotion and Luna finally looked up from Instagram to stare in anticipation.

The police officers were accompanied by headmistress Burton who tentatively pointed to Mr Caparros whose face fell instantly.

The other members of staff were anxious, mainly Miss Keller but everyone's eyes doubled in size when they saw one of their own get arrested.

"Rafa Caparros you're being charged with several counts of engaging in sexual conduct with minors, distributing sexual images to students and possessing child pornography," gasps and looks of horror were shared across the school after hearing such things. More took out their phones. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in court. You have the right to talk to a lawyer for advice before we ask you any questions. You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop answering at any time."

Rafa knew not to say anything and compiled. Seeing the mirthful glint in Winnie's eyes made him gulp.

Ginny looked at Max as Rafa was taken away. She saw him turn away, looking a mixture of disheartened and disorientated.

Max knew from the amusement on the Dubois heiress face, she was at fault.

But all her glumness faded when Caesar whispered in her ear and uttered four dreadful words,

"Your parents are here."

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(@gossipgirl tweeted)

Spotted: one teacher learning the hard way to not mix business with pleasure, and one student being reminded not to fly too close to the sun or you'll get worse than you're wings melting off, because, who better to humble you than the two people who brought you into this world.

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She found her mother and father in the headmistress's office, yet no headmistress Burton in sight, no doubt doing damage control for the mess, because when she walked through the halls everyone was hysterical. Ginny chased after Max who kept on insisting that he wanted to be alone, meanwhile, all the other victims didn't know what to do with themselves.

Margaux looked her normal level of disgust, stood around, shawl concealing the top half of her blazer and as she placed a hand on her husband's shoulder. Luc wasn't pleased, more jaded than ever as he sat on the headmistress's desk.

So when the door shut behind them, Winnie awaited their reprimanding because they had only been on Constance St Jude's campus 5 times.

When Margaux opened her mouth, Winnie sighed, "I was enjoying an exquisite white truffle with my friend Helena when I received a call from one of my friends down in the New York police department."

"You can just say NYPD," her daughter murmured.

"And I'm not finished," she snapped, squeezing her husband's shoulder, who shifted, "Your father was in a meeting with the current mayor of New York and yet we have to be the last to know that you have been soliciting pornography."

Winnie clenched her hands, "It was a student and a teacher, one that I made sure would get locked up."

"I never knew you were into social justice Winnie," Luc uttered for the first time, drawing a groan from his daughter.

"Me either Luc, must have slipped your personality," Margaux mocked, folding her arms.

Winnie's eyes narrowed and felt her heart pound so loud she could hear it in her ears, "You don't know me, you're barely around other than to lecture and put me down," her gaze moved from her enraged mother then onto her exhausted father, "or flat out ignore me. This benefits you two. Dad, the campaign that you're clearly doing to get every politician in your favour, going out to dinners with the Menzies so whatever is published is in our favour. You can use this to your advantage and yet you're reprimanding me.''

Margaux and Luc both exchanged a look, the former then turned back to Winnie, "We'll take your devices, preventing you from sending tips from that factous twitter page."

"You're out of your mind," Winnie snarled, so angry she wasn't shocked that her mother knew about GossipGirl.

Luc pinched the bridge of his nose, "It's either that or therapy."

"For what? I'm fine. Just as stable as the pair of you," Winnie sneered.

They both took deep offence at that.

"And therapy is funding capitalism – not that I'm against that –  through mindless thoughts and repressed trauma, buy me a damn diary or I'll cry into my cotton pillow like the rest of the normals. I don't need therapy."

Luc averted his gaze, truly dumbfounded by his daughter's response, but that only drew Margaux to say.

"You need it more than you know, you'll go to the sessions we pay pay for, and Caesar will escort you to The Ostroff centre every week," Margaux stepped forward.

"That nut house is not a place for me," emotions flooded Winnie's eyes and clung to her voice.

"You'll go, because you have a problem that needs to be sorted, corrected, pornography and that of a student at this school, really Winifred?" Margaux drawled, embarrassed by her actions.

"Mr Caparros was a paedophile and I'm the one who needs to be punished," Winnie let out a shuddered breath as her voice broke.

Luc shook his head, "You'll be lucky that the NYPD's chief didn't receive that email."

"So you spent money paying off another corporation?" Winnie spat.

They both stiffened at the terminology, and shortly Winnie regretted her retort.

A glare made its way onto Margaux's face, recovering from her shock.

"I'm disappointed in you."

Disappointed... a word Winnie heard frequently, a word she rarely fought against, but today she had enough.

Winnie shakily neared her mother and snarled, "Disappointed in me? You cannot be disappointed in me. For the worst portion of my life, you've raised me. I'm you. From the fried strands of hair to the soulless voice, all meticulously concealed with a nice accessory." Luc stood up as he heard the shuddered breath his wife let out. "You must despise yourself. It must keep you up at night. Good, I hope it does... so take your disappointment and shove it up your straight-laced ass."

Winnie's chest panted as she spat out a series of insults, her mom blinked rapidly eyes turning cold and mouth opening and shutting but nothing came out.

She looked physically pained by the words and that only spurred Winnie on more.

"This is who I am. You made me, I can't change even if I want to. So coming to me, realizing what you've done, but now it's too late. I'm your heir, the future of this company, and this thing we call a family and if you don't like it then that's on you. Don't blame me for the mistakes you've made."

Winnie didn't spend a second more in that room, she broke from her mother's sickening gaze and threw open the door, ignoring Caesar along with the other Dubois security who were waiting behind and staggered past.

The students were still far too engrossed in the drama to see the Dubois heir in such disarray.

Winnie could hardly breathe, therapy is my fucking punishment? She loathed them.

A body bumping into hers had her jolting back.

Miss Keller stammered out, "Are you okay?"

The tears in Winnie's eyes came as a shock before they were harshly torn from her iris with a quick wipe.

"Why wouldn't I be okay? Shouldn't you be focusing on scrubbing your laptops, checking your camera rolls, staying away from us students just in case we arouse you?" a bitter laugh escaped her as she spoke, "But of course that would be our fault if something were to happen."

"What Mr Caparros has done –"

"You and your little brigand probably knew," Winnie quickly cut her off and towered over her, "God you're all useless."

"You cannot speak about us that way," Mr Keller shrieked.

"And you're pathetically small," Winnie looked her up and down in disdain.

"You cannot speak to me that way!"

"Why can't I?" Winnie snorted, "You offended? I'm not apologizing for offending you, you should've walked away when you had the chance."

And with that she strutted off, rendering the startled teacher to clutch her chest as she desperately looked around hoping someone saw the interaction but no one did other than the security guards, who acted like they saw nothing.

___

Margaux and Luc arrived at their estate several minutes after their daughter, They had to be notified by Caesar about Winnie's outrage and how she had wrecked her room so badly that Abaddon had to be removed and placed with the other dogs that they owned.

So when they reached their foyer, they heard screaming and shouting from above.

Luc exhaled deeply after dropping his wife's arm, knowing now more than ever that Winnie needed therapy, sure using it as a punishment was ruthless but it was necessary.

"Our daughter is a monster," he said, turning to Margaux whose face contorted into forced satisfaction.

"And that's why she's the perfect heir to our company."

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(@gossipgirl tweeted)

There comes a moment in every parent's life when they realize they've created something they can't control. Children will test your patience, love and hatred. Parents are human, but you and my followers are something else. I've noticed there's something cruel in all of you. Something sinister and whether it was nurtured or born it's thriving and it's my job to bring you back, make you grow into better people or Generation Z will have to say arrivederci, because you cheat, manipulate, lie, and evade. But most of all, you do not learn. Why would you when your parents are the ones that taught you to do so? But don't worry, you'll pay for it later. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

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a/n:

not me realising that i haven't written winnie eat anything since the first chapter, not intentionally, i promise.

i was tired of teachers in shows who have "relations" with students not being arrested. there are so many cases of this happening and them being let off completely: the original gossip girl, gossip girl reboot, pll, riverdale, scream and more. winnie helped by an end to rafa's rotten reign, but of course, her parents reprimanded her. it wasn't because of what she did, it's how she did it is where the problem for them lies. so now it's off to therapy with winnie, she needs it but the way margaux framed it was like a punishment which is plain spiteful, especially how she worded it as well.

i had to add another cute moment for monifred because i feel like it's time we had it.