#I'd really love to see a nice week dedicated to these two and their relationship

[wooahaes]

fortunato in amore

pairing: non-idol!seungkwan x fem!reader

genre: fluff. established relationship au.

warnings: n/a, ask to add warnings

word count: ~1.1k

daisy's notes: venice is on my list of places i'd love to see one day tbh

Waking up in Venice in general felt like a dream. Waking up next to you in Venice, though… That felt special.

This trip had been a long time in the making, to be honest. After your last birthday, the two of you got around to talking about milestones. The pictures you’d both seen of your first birthday, the vague memories of your fifth. You celebrated your thirteenth with your family, your sixteenth with a few friends online… and the rest were looser. Vaguer. Your eighteenth had been dinner with your parents, too focused on the coming college years to do anything more special. And your twenty-first…

“I was sick,” you had shrugged off the idea of doing anything special. “I mean, I could have done something, I guess.”

“Did you do anything special after it?” Seungkwan rested his chin in his hand, watching you. “It’s a milestone for a reason. If you don’t want to do anything special, then you don’t have to…”

To be honest, you’d never really thought about it. A few weeks later, you’d come back to him and asked if the two of you could take a trip for your next birthday. Somewhere you’d never been before. The two of you ended up sitting down one night and just looking through places, trying to narrow it down to somewhere you’d enjoy going. After a while, you’d settled on Venice—Italy seemed nice, and you thought you’d enjoy the trip. Thus began the two of you saving up for the trip with the plan to have enough money to spend on yourselves and for gifts for your loved ones. The first day of your trip had been dedicated to finding little things for the people in your lives: things you’d mail off to your parents, other presents the two of you would take to his family when you saw them again. The two of you ended up snuggled together that night, completely exhausted from the day behind you.

Now he was admiring you in the morning sunlight. He reached forward, brushing a stray strand of hair back from your face. Maybe, in another life, this would be your honeymoon and not just your birthday trip. Traveling with you only opened up a world of opportunities. He’d always wanted to go places with you, but living in that reality now… He wanted to see everywhere with you. The two of you would have to take more trips abroad in the future. 

Eventually, you began to stir from your slumber, letting out a sleepy yawn soon after. You snuggled closer to him, legs intertwined with his own. 

“Good morning,” he’d said, voice still slightly hoarse from sleep. “Happy birthday, my love” 

Still sleepy, you let out a soft giggle as you nuzzled his neck with your nose. “Good morning,” you let out a blissful sigh. Yet you just buried your face in his neck a moment later, already about to drift back off to sleep. 

Tomorrow, he would wake you up again if you tried this. We’re in Venice, he would say. We should go explore. But for your birthday, he’d let you get the sleep you craved. Just for a little longer before the two of you would get ready for the day. The two of you couldn’t cuddle like this always when you were sleeping, but Seungkwan always took joy when the two of you could be snuggly. Besides… Both of you had been awake before his alarm went off. The two of you could afford a little more sleep.

“I love you,” he said aloud, fingers running over the back of your shirt. Absent-mindedly, he smoothed out the folds in your shirt, while staring up at the ceiling. “Sometimes I think about what would have happened if you didn’t trip and spill your smoothie on me.”

It earned a soft chuckle from you. “You looked good in pink, y’know.” 

He gently swat at your side, although he chuckled himself. “I do, but that was my favorite sweater.”

“I paid for your dry-cleaning,” you just smiled, eyes still shut. “Vernon told me you walked around, ranting about me for days until I asked you out.”

“You called me cute,” he said. “I thought you were cute, but…” He’d been too upset about the sweater, a gift from his mom for his birthday, to stop being annoyed. Yet he remembered the way your text had stopped him completely in his tracks: the cute little ‘hi seungkwan! sorry if this is too forward but i thought you were cute and i wanted to know if you would maybe get a coffee with me sometime? i’ll be careful with my smoothie this time haha’ that he read and reread over and over. 

Vernon had been the one who took his phone out of his hands. He had started typing out a reply for him, only to pause and glance at his face, “I’m supposed to tell her yes, right?”

Seungkwan averted his gaze. “Of course I’m going to say yes—” 

He’d lunged for his phone a moment later, brain finally catching up to him, but either way the end result would have been the same. It was all worth it, too, considering where it led. He remembered the early days of your relationship, where you’d fall asleep on bus rides after dates with him, head resting on his shoulder. He’d always rest his head against your own, shutting his eyes for a few minutes to just enjoy your company. He remembered the hassle of you moving in with him that was all worth it when the last and first thing he saw was your face. 

“Are you excited for the opera tonight?” He stifled his own yawn a moment later. “I told Seokmin about it. He was jealous, but I promised to get him pictures of the opera house.” He shut his eyes, stretching a little as he felt his spine popped. Then he relaxed into the mattress again, already feeling sleepy. “I sent Jeonghan pictures from our gondola tour yesterday… I said he’s coming with us next time we come here.”

It earned a sleepy chuckle from you. “Mhm. Sure.”

“We should do this again,” he said. “Travel together, I mean.” 

“I’d like that.” You pressed a kiss against his neck before relaxing against him.

Let’s see the world together, he wanted to say. He’d say it against your lips later, a quiet promise to spend this life together wrapped up inside of it.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @synthetickitsune @wonuziex @porridgesblog @staranghae @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny @bewoyewo

[pomefioredove]

Okay I read the match up thing 3 times so I am 90% sure I'm doing this right. You want a good amount of info right? Well here you go I listed everything I thought of that would describe me and maybe affect a relationship.

Personality

It depends on who you ask but the usual summary is really nice, considerate, sweet, smart and helpful. Also being described as innocent and sheltered because I miss out on social cues, have never smoke or vaped, haven't had a partner or my first kiss, never got in trouble an am not allowed the house without some adult with me despite being 17. I only recently got permission to walk to the seven eleven across the street only with a friend. Despite all this I'm not completely clueless and have a dark sence of humor and a bunch of sarcasm used for comedy and am not bothered by cursing whatsoever in others or myself.

It depends on who I'm with but my attitude can vary like if I'm around people I'm not familiar or comfortable with I get quiet but when I'm with friends and chosen family I can get really talkative especially about my interests, though I am a introvert so any social interaction wears me down.

When it comes to confrontation regarding myself I tend to stay away as much as possible even if something bothers me if it's something I don't see as a big deal to "keep the peace". But when it comes others I'm much more willing to back them up in their confrontation or even confront someone for them if need be.

Alot of people have done those relationship tests on random people and friends, I didn't know what they were until after the test but I apparently passes the orange one?

I've also been told multiple times that I passed the "bird test" but I don't know what that is and haven't had time to Google it because I forget I don't know if it's important but I figured I'd mention it just in cade.

I like giving out random gifts to people I know and go to school with. It's usually something that reminds me of them, that suits their taste, or a craft I made that I thought they would like.

I kinda struggle sometimes with maintaining relationships that I develope in person especially when I'm not seeing them often and can sometimes like dissappear for anywhere from 2 days to a week just randomly with no warning.

Interests

My latest is origami flowers and I like making them and giving random small bouquets to people that would like them or look like they have had a rough day.

Though I love movies and i can eve. Quote and act most of the ones i like and love Easter eggs.

I write a whole bunch two especially for fandoms in involved in and have multiple pages that are dedicated for one fandom that get long 6,000 word stories every week

I love videos games, I wouldn't say that I'm a gamer cause I don't have near enough time committed or games, but I'm really good in combat games like Super Mario and Mortal combat, I also like RPGs, Games like Mr. Tomato and Ms Lemon, I am average at any kind of games like Fortnight because I'm not good at any weapon that needs to aim like guns and arrows when I need to shoot from afar but I'm really good at close combat, and good at being support and can usually manage to stay alive. I'm also really good at board games which I win at alot and card games. I don't usually have much of a temper but with games can get pretty heated sometimes.

I do a lot of crafts, like soap making, candle making, cross stitching and love cooking and baking.

I love reading as well and have been known to go through five books in the span three days

Life Style

I'm usually decent about picking up after myself and my crafts, meaning no trash in my room but because of all my hobbies there is always a bunch of clutter that I'm not bothered by and sort of organize a little to make it look decent keep the peace.

Alot of days I don't have the energy to do much other then watch movies or play video games and just hang around the house most of the time. On the few days I do have to go out that's usually when I get all my work done because I feel more productive getting one to two weeks worth of work done in a day in between talking to people and whatever favors and tasks teachers give me.

At school I'm known as sort of the go to if you need a favor or any help with schoolwork even the classes I'm not in because I have a bunch of ideas, know a lot about random stuff and when I don't know I am able to look up good material to source.

When I come home honey from those days I usually just eat and then go to bed afterwards.

I love warmth, warm showers, warm close and physical affection. I don't get much of that and am a bit touch starved but make up for it with long hot showers and usually sleeping with a heating pad.

I tend to stay up very late most nights and only go to bed at a decent time like 11 when I have to go places the next day. I'm not loud when I stay up though it's usually me listening to music through headphones and writing, reading, or playing games.

I don't know

Background

I've recently realized my childhood was not healthy at all.

My parents were divorced by 5 and because of my dad having custody bur working late night shifts and I was left with my grandmother who homeschooled me. She had Ptsd, depression, and Biolar and should not have been left to cars for me.

I would be screamed at constantly for things that she was stressed about and couldn't control and was repeatedly told the story of my parents divorce ans how my mom legally abandoned me and didn't want me.

She would have random breakdown and panic attacks and every time I tried to console her would tense up and start yelling at me causing me to be really akward now when people get upset.

She constantly guilt trips and gaslight me and my sister even now ans combined with how my dad is a bit of a compulsive liar makes me second guess alot of what people say.

My dad was also a alcoholic and used to constantly pick fights with us, their combined behavior made me really anxious and I realized that I have anxiety because of them, at the time it was so bad I would get mine panic attacks sometimes just at the mention of going to their house. My anxiety was so bad that I threw up alot ans developed a fear of getting sick like that so I stopped eating as much as I should back then leading me to lose 50 pounds.

Now I'm much better, my dad is clean and a muc better person and we have made up but my grandmother is just as bad. My anxiety gets really bad sometimes still and in those days I lay down with my heating pad until I no longer feel like I'm going to throw up. I don't know why exactly but the heat helps. I also have a very crappie memory and can remember basically nothing till age 15 and even then those are spotty.

You probably didn't need that last bit but tldr: I am not completly mentally stable but am willing to learn and grow and change.

(No jack or Leona please I just want see myself getting along with them.)

I match you with 𝐀𝐳𝐮𝐥 𝐀𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨

The First Impression:

Azul first sees you as a threat to his business. No, really! Here you are, being all nice, offering help and doing favors for the other students for free... it doesn't matter how nice or innocent you seem, he'd be naive to underestimate you.

Why He Fell:

...Well, he's partially correct. You're definitely not as innocent as others take you for, so much becomes apparent when he hears you crack a joke for the first time. But you aren't a liar; the whole "nice and helpful" thing is genuine, and what's more is you're smart; you pick your battles, you avoid getting taken advantage of, and you're actually quite efficient and handy.

So, while you may not be a threat to him, Azul still thinks you're worth keeping around.

You grow closer over board games and long conversations. You're almost as good as him (maybe even more so, but he'd never admit that aloud) and Azul loves a good challenge, after all. Over time you both open up about your pasts and your anxieties, and he begins sharing things he never thought he would be able to. It's a comfortable, quiet sort of thing.

The Relationship:

Azul feels important with you.

Not for what he can do or what he can offer, but because he's him, and you like him (he hopes). The first time you make him a gift, he's genuinely confused. He tries to pay you, and when you don't accept, he spends an entire week thinking of ways to make it up to you. It almost becomes a little tradition, doing nice things for one another.

He's able to carve out multiple times in his week to dedicate to you. Azul is surprisingly good at finding the perfect balance between needing recharge time and needing to see each other, and the structure actually works well. Expect lots and lots of physical affection when you get to that point; Azul has been touch-starved for his entire life, after all, and he'll gladly share warmth with you.

[smoshkidtv]

I was tagged in a few posts recently regarding Bit City, and I've actually been ruminating on some thoughts for a while and decided maybe now would be a good time to post about them!

I know long text posts are really daunting and a bit annoying to see on a feed lol, so I'll post a TL;DR and put my more thorough thoughts under the cut ^^

TL;DR - Bit City has a lot of room for improvement and we can already see the cast and crew get more comfortable with the show! I'd prefer if the episode topics strayed away from pop culture references and instead focused on more general, relatable topics. There are some formats that I like more than others, but my overall enjoyment of each part of the episode is dependent the performances of the cast. Still, my main criticism is that some bits can go on for too long. Finally, I would love to see sketch-style content in Bit City, similar to SNL and Smosh the Sitcom: Live, where the cast have a loose script and storyline but are free to improv and banter amongst each other (and possibly filmed in one-take to really capture that 'live' feel). I still very much enjoy Bit City and I'm happy that the cast and crew are having so much fun making the show!

I wanna start off by saying that I actually enjoy Bit City! Yes, the bits do tend to be hit or miss for me, but I think a good chunk of my enjoyment comes from seeing how much fun the cast and crew are having when it comes to making this kind of content. Also, when the bits hit, they HIT. Like, genuinely laughing-my-ass-off kind of moments. That being said, I do think there's a lot of room for improvement, and one thing I wish was in this format.

Obviously, this show is new and trying to gain its footing. The very first ep of the show feels very different from its most current ep (Age Doesn't Matter, as of this post), and that's a good thing! For example, I initially didn't like the opening Changela banter; it felt stiff and forced. But now that they've gotten more comfortable and opened that segment a bit more, it's gotten so fun! Chanse and Angela have such a natural chemistry, and it's so nice to see it shine in a one-on-one segment like this. Kudos!

Another gripe I had with the first few eps of BC was its focus on pop culture/current trends. People (and even Smosh cast/crew) have often compared Bit City to Saturday Night Live, so I'll also be doing that throughout this analysis. SNL has the benefit of filming LIVE, so the topics they present in each episode feels very relevant to current situations. I consider myself pretty chronically online, so it wasn't necessarily a case of not being in-the-know enough for some topics, but I think tackling pop culture/current trends while being on the shoot schedule they have (filming weeks to months in advance and then only posting every two weeks) makes each ep feel outdated as soon as they're posted. Also, for people who are not so caught up with the news or pop culture, having whole episodes dedicated to those topics could potentially alienate those viewers.

I do like that each episode has a topic to cover! It definitely helps me remember what bits are from which episode (like the classic I&A interview is in the YouTube episode, etc.). More recent episodes have shifted focus from pop culture/current trends to more general and yet still relatable topics (relationship culture, straight vs. gay culture, age, etc.), and I definitely see this as an improvement! A few other friends/mutuals I talk to about BC have all said that they prefer those topics more than the earlier episodes, so I'm hoping for more of the same for future eps (I'm super excited for the musical episode!)

Getting into the format of the show, there are some things that work for me and some that don't. You'll find that I have a very similar criticism for all of them lol. So, let's tackle each portion we've seen so far!

Opening banter: I already said that I'm enjoying these segments more and more as the episodes go on. I'm sure those who enjoy seeing Chanse and Angela together are enjoying it, too. Otherwise, I understand that people may find that this segment goes on for too long and want to get into the meat of the video.

Interviews/Reunions: These are kinda in the same boat for me format-wise, so I'll just talk about them both. My main enjoyment of this segment really depends on the performances of the cast featured. Obviously, this segment is very reminiscent of content from Mythical-era Smosh Main (Reunions, Couples Therapy, etc.), but I still think that the standalone versions of this format work better. For some reason, some of the bits in these segments drag on for too long or feel too disjointed (a part of that can be attributed to my biggest gripe of BC, seen further below). I think it's because the content for the standalone versions felt more concentrated/focused, versus in BC where they have to focus resources on other segments of the episode and can't dedicate it to just this one segment. Still, I look forward to this segment each episode since it's mainly improv and (group) character work, which is something I really enjoy!

Hot Goss: First off, I love Tommy, so this segment is already up there for me! His monologues are always well-written, and even if he messes up a little, it adds to this segment feeling like a real interview. Tommy's banter is always amazing, and he just plays so well off of whoever he's interviewing with. That being said, like the previous segment, my overall enjoyment is dependent of the performance of the cast (in this case, the one other person Tommy's interviewing). While we've only had two segments of Hot Goss so far, I like one way more than the other and it all has to do with their performance. Looking forward to more of this format soon!

Game show(?): Not really sure what to call this segment, but it's the part where they have a few of the cast as themselves play a little game. I love these because I love seeing the cast have fun and banter as themselves, but obviously this is the one segment that feels like Pit to me and that's okay. Again, it's reminiscent of other Mythical-era Smosh Main content (Google Search History, Dating Profiles, etc.) but simplified since they can't dedicate a whole Let's Do This-style production to a segment that's about 5-10 minutes long (similar to the reunions/interviews). And again, I still really like this segment and it's the one that's the most consistent quality-wise for me.

Commercials: I am not too happy with most of the commercials for the same reason: they go on for too long. As I understand, the idea to do these commercials came from when they did Smosh the Sitcom: Live and shot a few parody commercials. STSL is probably my favorite piece of content Smosh has made, and those commercials were amazing. Sadly, I don't really think that same level of quality was brought over to BC. Again, it probably has to do with the way BC is shot, and they can't dedicate themselves to multiple, high-production parody commercials, and that's okay. My main issue with the commercials is the run time. The joke of each commercial meanders for too long, and they tend to reuse the same type of joke over and over again. This is further worsened by the fact that the commercials are two-parters, and that they tend to bisect certain segments like the reunions and the game show. Truly, I don't know why they do this. It could be to further emulate SNL, that does have commercial breaks due to it being a TV show, but these breaks don't happen in the middle of a segment. I don't think the commercials need to be two parts OR be that long. I would rather they make the commercials shorter and quicker-to-the-punch with their jokes, than to have them be split into two and go on for too long. I still think the commercials are funny, and the cast performs really well in them, but after about one minute or so of the same punchline, it gets really stale for me.

Chanse jumps over a car: I don't have much to say about this segment and it's mainly because I don't find it very interesting lol. I do like the running joke of it, but something about it doesn't really work for me so I tend to skip this section of the episode (or I don't pay attention to it as much).

There is one thing I wish was in this format and bear with me here: I wish we had more sketch-style content. I did grow up watching classic Smosh, so you can't really blame me for missing this kind of content :P Still, if BC is truly to follow SNL's example, I'm so surprised to see they haven't yet implemented sketches like they have. Obviously, I am not expecting a high-production sketch like what we had in the first year since the buyback. And of course, I don't expect it to be at the caliber of STSL. But if they could, I would love to see a smaller-scale version of what we had with the Sitcom: a sketch with a loose script where the cast are still free to improv if needed. We're kind of getting that with the reunion/interviews, but these segments normally have them on the couch and barely moving around the space. I'd love to see them work with props and have a more coherent plot/storyline than being there to be interviewed by Angela/Chanse/Shayne/whoever. I can't remember when or where this was said, but BC is supposed to still feel like Smosh Main but with all the fun cast antics as Pit and Games. I think improv-lite sketches could really bring that feeling and add another fun segment for viewers to enjoy :)

As always, these are just my thoughts and people are welcome to think differently than I do lol. I am super open to discussion and other's thoughts, but please keep all things fun and civil ^^ This also ended up wayyy longer than I expected so if you read this far, thanks for letting me ramble!

[babybulls15]

(Lestappen, 3.3k, rated T, 1/1)

(Established Relationship, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Christmas Fluff, Marriage Proposal, Christmas Party, Karaoke, Attempt at Humor, Perfect Christmas by S Club 7 is a good song, Mistletoe by Justin Bieber is too but not for a proposal, don't let Daniel and Lando plan your proposal if you don't want a flash-mob, but luckily Max locates a braincell before it could go too far)

Summary:

Lando got the idea that Max could also just sing the song himself. That way he didn’t have to dance but could still be the one to lead the whole thing. Apparently they did listen to Max repeatedly telling them he hated dancing, yet chose not to acknowledge his rejection of the overall idea. --- After getting outsourced from his own proposal planning, Max tries to come up with a way he can show Charles his love, without having to dance. (But ends up doing it a little bit anyway.)

Read it on Ao3 or below. :)

(I hope you enjoy and I'd love to hear your thoughts! :3)

------------------

Charles had a weird relationship with Christmas.

Of course, Charles himself would never admit that. He always said, that it was nothing more than a normal amount of enjoyment. But Max knew better.

Charles was obsessed.

Over the course of his life, Max was sure, his boyfriend had bought at least two years salaries worth of Christmas decorations. From little Christmas tree ornaments to big light-up stars, he seemed to have decorations for every available surface of the house. Max was relieved that Charles drew the line at all things inflatable, because even though he loved him, that would’ve been a step too far. Other than that, all bets seemed to be off though. A few years ago Charles had even escalated to replacing kitchen utensils and appliances with Christmas-themed ones, when the holiday time started.

And oh boy did it start. Early. At least for Max’s taste.

Charles didn’t go so far as to begin celebrating his favourite holiday on the first of September, when the supermarkets would kickoff selling Christmas related products, but he did start shopping for what he seemed to await the whole year.

The week before the first advent.

For most of that week, Max made sure to be as far away from the flat as possible. Because in addition to being obsessed with the holiday in general, Charles was particularly obsessive when it came to the perfect arrangement of all things Christmas in their home. Everything had to be in the right place and light up at the exact same time. When all of it was set up and done though, Max always helped him tidy up the packaging and store it all for the end of the season. Then they usually fell onto the couch, from where Charles could admire his work and point out all the little details to Max.

Max had never really gotten the hype, if he was honest. Sure it was pleasant to have a few things to make the flat feel cozy and warm during the winter – he could appreciate a nice string light or a well decorated Christmas tree. Still, holidays, particularly Christmas, seemed so oversold to him. Throughout his life, growing up, dealing with marketing and sponsorships for every available holiday, Max had simply lost the enthusiasm for it. He could still appreciate the cheer, but didn’t understand why some people got so overly excited, they had to theme their whole lifes around it.

But Max understood Charles.

He understood how much it meant to him, to have an occasion dedicated to family and celebrating the love between all of them. To get to have down-time and just revel in being near all the people he sees so little of the rest of the year.

Max also understood that Charles just really loved decorating for it.

So he endured the perfectionism, the timers blocking every available outlet and the themed kitchen tongs. There was nothing he would not do for Charles.

This was were the problems started though.

Because Charles knew. He knew and at least during the holidays he seemed to take shameless advantage of it. Roping Max into every Christmas-related activity he could think of.

One of these activities also included another thing Max normally didn’t really care for. Karaoke.

Every year around the third advent, Charles gathered all their available friends and family for a Christmas-themed karaoke night. To celebrate what was, to Charles, the absolute best thing about that time of the year. Christmas Music.

He always booked the room a year in advance and would demand of everyone to be free, because it’s a year from now, what else could you have already planned?

And that’s how Max found himself, sitting in a private karaoke bar, with about as much decorations as their own living room, surrounded by people who where important to them, trying unsuccessfully to calm himself down.

He could not fuck this up. This was important.

Because Max was on a mission.

He knew how much Charles loved Christmas, how much he loved Christmas-Karaoke, how much he loved their families and friends. And Max also hoped he knew how much Charles loved him. Enough to say yes to marrying him.

He had been planning this for a while now. The thought of proposing to his boyfriend on his favourite holiday had been bumbling around Max’s mind for even longer. Yet he had never had the right idea on how to go about it.

So seeing that after being together for 4 years, Max did not want to delay it any further, in July of that year he had caved and told his friends. His first mistake. Because involving Lando and Daniel could never end in a way that was helpful to anyone.

Their initial reaction had of course been one of support. They were happy for the two of them. But Max should have seen the chaos that followed coming.

He had told them what he had come up with so far. Which was not really anything at all, aside from the vague idea, that it had to be around Christmas and needed to have something to do with music. Lando and Daniel had been understandably sceptical and immediately started taking over the planning.

It had all gone downhill from there.

After hours of discussions about proposal plans that seemed to have nothing to do with neither Christmas, music nor Max, they had come to the conclusion that the only way the whole thing would work, was if they were there. So no private moment just for the two of them to enjoy. No, it had to be something big, something that would make an impression. Not just on Charles but hopefully on the whole world.

A flash mob.

And even worse, a flash mob to Mistletoe by Justin Bieber.

Max didn’t know what he found more horrible about that idea – the song, the fact that he was supposed to dance, or the mass of other people that would be doing it with him. He was self-aware enough to know that any kind of dancing from him before a proposal would not end in the result he’d like. But Lando and Daniel had stopped listening to him at that point. All entranced in their amazing idea and already working on choreography.

Fuck.

But apparently being backed into a corner by his overenthusiastic friends, seemed to get his brain working. While they tried to decide on which racing circuit to rent, Max thought about all the things he did not like about their idea and from there tried to find out what he thought would work.

Christmas and music. But no Justin Bieber.

And their families. Because even though Max shuddered at the image of a hundred strangers dancing to a teenagers Christmas pop song, he rather liked the idea of sharing the moment with people. People he actually knew and cared about. So maybe their friends could come too.

But organizing a special gathering would be hard to pull off in secret. And bringing it up to Charles directly would probably only raise suspicions. They were spending the actual holiday only with Charles’ family in Monaco. And Max’s mum and sister were heading to a tropical island on Christmas Eve to mix it up a little. Their annual karaoke meet-up would be the last time they’d all see each other.

The karaoke meet-up.

It seemed to have everything, happening close enough to Christmas for Charles to be in the right mood, involving music, all the relevant people and most importantly, no dancing. At least not the mass choreographed kind.

So Max had finally settled on an occasion, but was still coming up a bit short on the actual execution. He resigned himself to letting his two friends have their fun, thinking of a million ways to embarrass him in front of his boyfriend and the world. However he would need to cut them off at an appropriate time, so it didn’t get out of hand. In the meantime, Max could definitely use some of their plan to his advantage though.

Daniel had tasked him with writing the proposal speech, which was nice considering he was the one doing the actual proposing, but it also presented another problem.

He didn’t know what to say.

Or rather he knew what he wanted to convey, what he felt for Charles and what he wanted him to know, but Max could not, for the life of him, find words that would express that.

“Just say what’s in your heart.”, had been Daniel’s advice, which did nothing to loosen the knot that seemed to have tied up the pipeline between Max’s heart and his head.

Ultimately it was Lando who had the idea that did just that.

“You could always just quote something.”, he had shrugged while scrolling through his phone to find a suitable dance group to hire.

Max, who had been prepared to be as dismissive of the idea as he had been of all the dancers he’d been shown so far, had paused and taken a second to think about it. Sure, quoting would take away from the originality of his speech, but it would still be as genuine. He could even quote someone Charles admired, so it would be doubly heartfelt.

With this new plan in mind, Max started to look through all the books he knew Charles liked and that had romance in them. There weren’t too many but none of them seemed to really fit their situation.

Again Lando came to the rescue. Even if it was not how he thought he did.

After giving up on trying to convince Max to hire professional dancers for the proposal-flash-mob-that-was-definitely-happening, Lando got the idea that Max could also just sing the song himself. That way he didn’t have to dance but could still be the one to lead the whole thing.

(Apparently they did listen to Max repeatedly telling them he hated dancing, yet chose not to acknowledge his rejection of the overall idea.)

Still, Max could’ve hit himself. His whole plan revolved around them being at a karaoke bar, but he didn’t think of just finding a song to quote? And there were so many opportunities. Christmas songs were littered with cheesy love declarations and if something didn’t feel completely right, he could just try to rewrite a bit. At least it wouldn’t be a whole speech.

So that settled it. He would find a song to sing to Charles and convey the love and dedication he had for his boyfriend, without making a complete fool of himself.

Or so he thought.

Because yes, in theory, that sounded like a bullet-proof plan to him. In reality Max had to get up on that stage alone and sing - actually sing - a song that would hopefully not make Charles say no to his question.

Max was so fucked.

He tried calming himself once again by getting up for another drink. He was a Formula 1 driver, for fucks sake. Why was this so hard?

It didn’t help that he hadn’t told anyone he would be doing this. Not even Lando and Daniel.

Max looked around. He could see the two of them sitting on one end of the couch, snickering at each other. They got some weird looks from Pierre and Carlos sitting next to them, clearly not following what was happening. It was probably nothing good anyway. Charles was currently on stage with his mum, singing a strangely not-really-weirder-than-normal version of ‘Baby it’s cold outside’, which was a feat considering that it was already a pretty weird song to begin with.

In any case it could not get weirder than Daniel and Lando’s rendition of ‘Santa Baby’ they had all witnessed an hour ago. Max had had the strong urge to cover his sister’s eyes, because whatever that was, it was not something he wanted her to have to sit through. Charles had apparently not been as strong as him, because when Max had looked over during a particularly disturbing part (involving a lot more thrusts and voice lilting than ever necessary) his boyfriend had been trying to shield Arthur from the sight, Lorenzo laughing hysterically next to him.

That had fortunately been the last time his two friends had been allowed to sing together. Every time they had made to get up after, someone else had managed to get one of them to agree to sing something harmless with them.

So al things considered, the evening was going great. Max had even gotten up on stage himself - although not alone. Never alone.

It had become a small tradition, that Charles and Max would each choose a song for them to sing together. That way, they both had some element of surprise to their performance. This year Charles had chosen ‘Let it Snow’, traditional yet romantic, while Max had gone for something a little more up to date. He kind of felt bad for Lando and Daniel, seeing as the grand plan they were working on, would never see the light of day, so he had chosen ‘Mistletoe’. It was worth it just for the look on everyone’s faces when the opening began playing, but had been surprisingly fun as well.

However now he did not feel as confident as he had then.

So as Charles and his mum finished their song and everyone applauded, Max got even more nervous. He knew this was it. The moment. The opportunity to go up there and just. Do it.

Somehow his body had gotten the message before his brain did, because by some miracle Max ended up on the stage, in front of the computer, typing in the song he was going to sing.

He was going to do it.

In his haze, Max had not noticed that, while he climbed up the small steps, the room had fallen eerily silent. Everyone was sitting on the couch expectantly looking at the stage. He only realized that all the attention was on him, when he turned around.

And froze.

Max looked at the crowd. Took in his mother, his sister, Charles’ mum and brothers, all with a slight look of confusion in their eyes. He decidedly did not look at Daniel and Lando. And then his eyes fell on Charles and his nervousness evaporated.

Because Charles just smiled at him.

It wasn’t a knowing smile. He definitely had no idea what was going to happen. But it was a reassuring one. The one that always made Max feel ready to face any and all challenges thrown his way. That made everyone else in the room disappear. So without breaking eye contact, he smiled back and pressed play.

The opening melodies of ‘Perfect Christmas’ by S Club 7 started playing. The background singers soft ‘do-do-do’ filling the room. Max took up the microphone.

“Hey everyone.”, he greeted, waving a little awkwardly. “You’re probably wondering what the hell I am doing up here. And alone at that. I’d just like to take the opportunity to say something.” A pause. “And also sing.” Multiple people chuckled. Charles was still looking expectantly at him.

“Charles.”, Max began again and understanding dawned in his boyfriends widening eyes. “I have thought a lot about what I want to say up here. What I want to say to you. And you know me, I’m not particularly good with words.” Max rubbed his neck and his boyfriend chuckled. “But I love you and I want this to be perfect for you. So Lando suggested I could just...borrow someone else's.” Max’s eyes flitted to his friend, who gave him a smile and a wink. “So that’s what I’m gonna try to do now.”, he continued, “Not every part of this song works, so I’m gonna try to just...riff it? But in the end I hope you’ll know what I’m trying to say.”

With his last words the second chorus hit and Max tried to make his voice sound as even as possible as he sang, however crookedly: “The perfect ending to a wonderful year. Would be to celebrate the good times with you here. 'Cause I know for sure, I never wanted anything more. “

He tried a little shuffle from one side to another. Charles’ eyes following his every move.

“The greatest gift that there could be. Wrapped underneath my Christmas tree. Would be the same my whole life through. I'd spend the perfect Christmas with you. Though the winter seems so long. My faith in love has kept me strong. So if I had a wish come true. I'd spend the perfect Christmas with you.” At the last words he took the ring box out of his pocket, got down on one knee and opened it.

“Charles Leclerc, will you marry me?”, he asked, voice wavering just the tiniest bit.

But his worries were unfounded, because Charles, who had already leapt from his place on the couch when Max got the box out, now practically ran to the stage. His eyes were welling up with tears. When he got to Max, standing on eye level with him kneeling on the platform, he threw his arms around Max’s neck while giving him an enthusiastic “Yes! Yes! Oh god yes!”

The whole room erupted into applause, but Max could only concentrate on Charles in front of him, his fiancé. Slipping the ring onto Charles’ finger, then his hands cupping Max’s cheeks and their lips connecting in the most wonderful kiss they had ever shared, Max was so relieved. Relieved he had done it, but also relieved Charles had said yes. He’d had no real doubt he wouldn’t but there was always a sliver of a chance.

They broke apart, resting their foreheads together and looking deeply into each others eyes. “I love you, cheri.”, Charles whispered. “I love you too, Schatje.”, Max whispered back. “And I’ll never stop.” Charles huffed a wet laugh at that. “Me neither. I promise.”, he said. They smiled at each other for a second longer, before being pulled apart and into the embraces of their friends and family.

After a lot of bone-crushing hugs from their mothers and siblings, Max came face to face with his two immensely disappointed flash-mob-proposal planners. He could tell they were going for the full guilt trip, but Max could also see the genuine excitement in Lando’s eyes and the way Daniel’s lips would barely stay in the frown he was trying to put on. After just blankly staring at each other for a few seconds all three of them burst into laughter. Then Max got a hug from both of them as well.

“Mate why didn’t you say anything sooner? We would’ve totally helped you.” Daniel said. Lando just rolled his eyes. “I think you know exactly why he didn’t ask us again. We went a bit overboard didn’t we?”, he asked, looking a bit sheepish. Max just laughed again. “It’s fine, you did help me a lot. So thank you.”, he said and hoped they knew how much he meant it. “But let’s just shelf the flash-mob idea for one of your proposals.” All three of them grinned at each other.

The evening didn’t end there, but Max’s performance remained the last thing to happen on the stage. No one wanted to follow that. So they sat and talked, simply enjoyed each others company. Just like Christmas was supposed to be.

While Charles, as always, seemed to entertain the whole party, Max sat back and let himself revel in the fuzzy feelings he found himself full of. He didn’t think he had ever enjoyed something Christmas-related this much. But as so often before, Charles had somehow found a way to bring Max out of his shell and get him excited about something he had lost faith in a long time ago.

Looking at Charles now, enthusiastically talking about an encounter with a childhood friend he’d had at the grocery store last week, Max couldn’t help but smile. Charles was his fiancé. His fiancé. The man he was going to marry. How did he get so lucky?

Then another thought struck him.

What if Charles wanted them to write their own vows?

[seeklovenet]

Secret Benefits Critiques Learn Customer Support Critiques Of Secretbenefits Com

Secret Benefits Critiques Learn Customer Support Critiques Of Secretbenefits Com

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[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine shanks deciding you're his wife part 2

A week after avoiding the Marines

Shanks: would you take this to my wife? *Holds a book out*

Benn: *takes it* you really are dedicated to this aren't you?

Shanks: (y/n) doesn't seem to mind

Benn: there is very few things they do mind, so that isn't exactly an accomplishment

Shanks: *pouts* I know, but they're accepting it.

Benn: are they calling you husband?

Shanks: *sinks into his seat* no

Benn: *sighs* I'll take this to your wife

That night

Shanks: *comes into your room and crawls into bed with you, drunk as a skunk* my sweet wife, there you are.

You: captain! I'm trying to read

Shanks: let me cuddle you *stubbornly wraps his arms around your waist and puts his head in your lap*

You: *rolls your eyes but sinks into his arms and goes back to reading*

Shanks: *pouts for a few minutes before mumbling* why don't you call me husband?

You: because we haven't had a wedding and we're it married?

Shanks: we're pirates, pirates don't get married like landlubbers do.

You: *fairly new to pirating* do... Do pirates have marriage traditions different than the normal ones?

Shanks: *nods his head*

You: well no one told me that

Shanks: do you need to be told everything?

You: don't be rude, and I need to be told about practices and customs of a culture I'm a member of but not from. Otherwise how am I supposed to know?

Shanks: sorry

You: why don't you sleep? We can talk once your sober, alright?

Shanks: *grumbles but gets comfy* alright

The next month at Sabody archipelago

You and Shanks: *both have forgotten to talk about it*

Shanks: Rayleigh, meet my wife

Rayleigh: *surprised* wife?

You: it's nice to finally meet you, captain has told me a lot about you

Rayleigh: well now I never thought I'd see the day where our little philanderer would settle down.

Shanks: Rayleigh!

You: philanderer? *smirks at Shanks*

Shanks: can you start working on our ship please *pushes Rayleigh out the door*

You: *alone with Shaky*

Shakky: being a yonko's wife can't be easy

You: *embarrassed* truth be told, I don't know why he calls me that

Shakky: you mean you don't know?

You: no *explains how it all started*

Shakky: I see, no one explained to you what a pirate marriage is like. That's why he looked hurt when you called him Captain

You: would you please explain

Shakky: pirate marriages differ slightly from normal ones. Since most pirates don't have land, and very few possessions they are usually marriages of love rather necessity. There is nothing official, no ceremony, no set rules all pirate marriages must obey. Stuff like that is decided by the people involved in the marriage, which could be for more than two people. But more importantly pirate marriages usually means taking a life partner, and typically once they have taken a partner pirates don't love or sleep with anyone else but again it's up to the couple.

You: but you and Rayleigh

Shakky: he and I have an open relationship, ours is different. Pirate marriages differ partnership to partnership.

You: but Shanks never spoke to me about this, we never discussed any of this

Shakky: he has a tendency to jump the gun

You: I've barely been a pirate for three months, and withing the first two I not only joined a yonko's crew but got upgraded to his wife

Shakky: you are allowed to reject him

You: *thinks about it for a minute* I don't think I will, but he and I need to have a long conversation about this.

Shakky: although, I must admit going from a civilian to not only part of a yonko's crew but the yonko's wife in under a month is quite impressive.

You: thanks, now only if I knew how I managed it.

Part 1

Part 3

[theroyalmisfitmess]

Some thoughts about the newest iCarly Revival ep, i'M a USA Bae

Alright, first of all I wanna say that I liked this episode a little bit better than the last one. I think it was able to serve its feminist purpose subtlety without taking away the fun and entertainment in it. With that, let's get into it deeper.

Main plot first. I think it's nice how we see Carly get opportunities related to her work. It helps show how she earns money and what problems she has as a full-time content creator. The spoof on the American Girl dolls was spot and reminiscent to spoofs from the original series. Then you have Carly's conflict about wanting to be a good role model—it's a very good topic to dive into because iCarly was one of the blueprints of utilizing the internet for entertainment (on and off-screen) and we all know now how unnecessarily brutal online communities are now. Side note, Miranda and Josh's dynamic is really fresh but also familiar and I like how it ties in with the show; it's also a good way to show a completely platonic male friendship of Carly's and I can't help but think if Paul would get along with Spencer. I'm really loving Paul in the show and I hope he becomes a recurring character.

Side plot A. I'm kinda hating how we don't get a lot of good Harper plots. I feel like we've brushed off Dutch way too easily and I want to see her be a human being that feels feelings. So far she's been more of a gag but hopefully the remaining episodes explore her more. There's really a lot about Harper that I wish to know given she's not an OG series character.

Side plot B. Surprisingly enough, Freddie's subplot was handled pretty well, in my opinion. It still felt like a subplot but at least it was essential to his growth as a character. As much as I'd like to see adult Creddie get together, Pearl and Freddie don't seem so bad. I'm seeing that the difficult parts of their relationship is starting but it's interesting to point out that—at this point—they are taking it slow. I think it is absolutely important for Freddie to take it slow, not only because of his two divorces, but also because Freddie has a lot on his plate right now. I did notice something important, but we'll talk about it on my next point... But before I do, Spencer knowing how to talk to a monkey makes so much sense it was very Ross Gellar of him + what happened to Jericho the falcon and Marvin the ostrich?

Now, Creddie hints. Not a lot on this episode aside from two important things I've noticed: 1) how they sit next to each other and 2) Freddie's comment about taking things slow. I might dedicate a whole analysis about their sitting next to each other some other time, so for now all I can say is that it's interesting to see that despite being comfortable with each other there is a respect for boundaries. I don't find it sad that Carly doesn't sit or stand as close to Freddie like before he started dating Pearl because it shows how much she respects and wants him to be happy. Now, Freddie's comment about taking things slow... To keep it simple, it's funny how Freddie says he never takes things slow when it's quite possible that he's already playing the long game with Carly. On second thought, maybe I should create a separate analysis for this too?

Overall, the episode was alright. It was definitely better than last week but I hope we get out of the mid-season slump very soon. I'm absolutely excited for the few eps we have left!

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats #21 | Double Chinn Double (Double) Feature (with Hyapatia Lee)

By the time the '80s rolled around, Bob Chinn, best known for his collaborations with John Holmes (the inspiration for Boogie Nights), had been directing movies for over a decade. For much of that time, he'd been making them for peanuts (in an interview with the Rialto Report, he recounts being once asked to make a movie for five thousand dollars, which was handed to him in fifties on the spot), but in the early '80s, he was directing for Harry Mohney's Caribbean Films, working with respectable budgets (by porn standards). Some of these films starred Hyapatia Lee, one of the most popular porn stars of the era and one of the first contract girls. Now, I suspect these aren't necessarily the defining works of Chinn's career, and I do intend to get to some of his movies with Holmes. But Vinegar Syndrome had a sale and there were two double features of their collaborations going for dirt cheap, and because I am weak and foolish with money, they ended up in my cart and a few weeks later in my grubby little paws. How did this happen? Through the magic of Canada Post, of course! Anyway, what I found was that these didn't represents any extremes of artistic ambition. They were neither seeking to elevate the genre, nor were they hackwork. Rather, they represent a happy medium, movies that seek to deliver the genre's goods in a polished, diverting package. Slick cinematography, courtesy of Jack Remy. Catchy theme songs that wouldn't sound out of place if you caught them on the radio. Flashy titles. Lee recounted the atmosphere on set as one of professionalism and engagement, where everyone present wanted to do as good a job as possible. Chinn claims to have been losing interest in his work at this point, but the results onscreen are the result of confident execution by somebody who had been doing this kind of thing for years and knew how to put the production's resources to good use.

The first one I watched was The Young Like it Hot, where the operators at a phone company worry about being replaced by computers. To keep their jobs, they scheme to go the extra mile in helping their callers. As this is a porno, most of this help is sexual in nature, as when Rosa Lee Kimball stays on the line while an obscene phone caller played by Bill Margold finishes. (In an interview on the DVD, Margold says after shooting his scene, he was invited to record additional dialogue. Being the method actor that he was, he insisted on whipping it out during the recording session despite the lack of cameras.) Sometimes they are informative, as when Bud Lee (real life husband of Hyapatia at the time) explains why the perineum is referred to as taint ("cuz it taint cunt and it taint ass"). But the highlight of their efforts are Shauna Grant's increasingly life threatening home improvement advice to one poor sap played by Joey Silvera. Hyapatia Lee is ostensibly the star, and has a certain charisma, playing the supervisor, but this is really an ensemble piece, and she's joined by more experienced actors like Kay Parker and Eric Edwards. The latter I've occasionally found bland elsewhere, but he has a nice obnoxious quality that serves him well as the villainous manager whose idea it is the automate the operators' jobs. The movie reflects a very real concern (that's very much still an issue in the modern workplace), but overall this is a breezy, affable comedy.

A bit more serious in tone is Sweet Young Foxes, a coming of age story whose dramatic parts are more sensitively realized than I expected. The screenplay was written by Deborah Sullivan, Bob Chinn's wife at the time, and this is a case where a movie definitely benefited from having been written by a woman, and it seems like an earnest effort to capture the anxieties and yearnings of its young women protagonists. Lee moves closer to a real starring role, and is joined by Cara Lott and Cindy Carver as her friends, who aren't quite as strong actors as her but do have decent chemistry. I can believe they're friends even if their line delivery can be stilted. (That the movie has a good ear for genuine sounding dialogue also helps.) Kay Parker is especially good as Lee's mother, hitting some of the same notes as Taboo, and has a credibly emotional masturbation scene in front of a mirror that did not leave me unmoved. (In what way? That's none of your damn business.) This was shot by Jack Remy, the same cinematographer who worked on The Young Like it Hot. That movie looked nice and slick, but this one is a little more stylish, with the solo sex scenes in particular resembling magazine centerfolds. There's also some nice new-wave-ish music that shows up on the soundtrack, which I certainly didn't mind. I do wish some of the sex scenes didn't run quite as long (the previous movie kept them refreshingly concise) as I'd prefer more of the runtime was dedicated to the dramatic elements, but what's there is still good.

Body Girls goes back firmly to comedy territory, where Hyapatia Lee and the members of her gym are trying to win a bodybuilding contest despite a rival gym's attempts to undermine them. This comes in the form of a pair of schlubs in yellow tank tops who break into the gym after hours to sabotage their equipment, only to be foiled by Hyapatia and her girls who just happened to be having sex in the locker room as people do. Of course, despite Lee's attempts to teach them a lesson (which depending on your proclivities, may have the opposite effect), they don't give up, and during the contest threaten the judge at gunpoint. Not one to take things lying down (okay, poor choice of words here), Lee finds a way to influence the judge back in her favour. (The judge is played by Francois Papillon, bringing a dopey charm to the character as he fumbles through his lines in his French accent.) Her method is pretty ridiculous and certainly in service of genre requirements, but I did laugh.

Now, there's probably a dilemma in audience sympathy here as both Lee and her rivals are cheating, but Lee's methods are more agreeable and directed at the judge instead of her rivals so I guess we ought to root for her. She's also buoyant, charismatic and has a real star quality, and is joined by such fan favourites as Shanna McCullough and Erica Boyer, all of whom sport wildly different hairstyles. As can be expected given the exercise theme, most of the ladies have toned, athletic bodies (and given the decade, voluminous coiffures), with the exception of Tigr, who brings a wiry punkish energy that stood out to me despite her limited screentime, and she also performs the miraculous feat of making a mullet look cute. (I'd previously been moved by her work in Kamikaze Hearts, the great mockumentary about a porn production and her relationship with Sharon Mitchell. She didn't stay in the industry for too long, but I'd be interested in seeing more of her work.) The screenplay was written by Lee with her husband Bud (who plays the judge's assistant with an agreeable presence that's neither too alpha nor too schlubby) and is full of exercise-related dialogue. Most of this is pretty clunky and calling it wordplay might be a bit generous ("sexercise" features at one point), but I did appreciate the effort. Also as is requisite for the premise, the longest set piece in the movie is an orgy in Lee's gym with the various participants snaked around different pieces of equipment. I must note that one of the male actors resembles Barry Gibb and that Francois Papillon is shown to wear a tiger-striped speedo. Did I enjoy the movie? Yes, but not for reasons cited in that sentence.

At the end of Body Girls, Bud Lee suggests to Hyapatia, "Let's get physical", which is the title of the next movie. (Body Girls also features a character looking at dirty magazine with stills from Sweet Young Foxes and ends with a plug for some of these other movies, anticipating the MCU's narrative and marketing strategies by a few decades.) Now, all of these movies have had decent theme songs, but the one in Let's Get Physical has lyrics that are plagiaristically close to those of Olivia Newton-John's 1983 hit. (The delivery however is more shrill but not unpleasing.) This movie is a drama where Lee plays a dance instructor trying to put together a ballet performance despite her strained relationship with her impotent husband played by Paul Thomas. (In the interview I listened to, Lee speaks well of almost everyone she worked with on these films, with the pointed exception of Paul Thomas. If there was bitterness behind the scenes, it arguably helps their performances.)

Lee wrote the screenplay for this one, and unlike Body Girls with its surface level references to bodybuilding and exercise, the dialogue here feels packed with knowledge of the real thing, which is understandable given Lee's real life interest in dance going back to her childhood. (I looked up "Luigi jazz dancing" after finishing the movie and was pleasantly surprised to learn it was a real thing.) This movie goes all in on her star power, and features a number of dance numbers that seem genuinely interested in the form rather than just leering at the performers. (There is one scene where the song Lee dances to sounds suspiciously like "Beat It".) I did appreciate that the sex scenes were kept relatively concise and tied into the dramatic aspects, although in some cases, the choices made could be goofy, like the scene where Lee makes love to her student Shanna McCullough while Thomas, in a dramatically justified but still awkward gesture, watches from another room and jacks off. (I assume he's playing the audience in this scene. Also, McCullough's character remarks "I've never done this before" when going down on Lee, and yeah, okay Shanna.) Other highlights include a car stunt that may or may not have been lifted from elsewhere but still looks decently executed, as well as a dream sequence where Thomas (or his character at least) plays the piano and sings a song. This is held back a bit by the genre's demands, like when it places a completely superfluous sex scene at the end after Lee's reconciliation with Thomas, but on the whole this is probably the best one of the lot.

[mofieroll]

You Too (Jotaro Kujo x Fem!Reader)

Inspired from my in-character interaction with @mistaeq! Dedicated to them for motivating me to write! 💛

A Post!SDC Jotaro x Reader one shot where you bond with Holly, who you call Seiko, and pamper your man Jotaro.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Trauma

Word Count: 3k

Two years have passed since the events of the Crusaders' trip to Egypt to save the life of Holly Kujo from being taken by her own Stand. To say that the trip was memorable is an understatement. It was too memorable. The memories of built friendships and increased attachments in just a span of fifty days were unbearable, for fate made the surviving comrades of the group pay for all the joyous moments with the pain of death and eternal separation.

It was hard. Painful. Frightening. Heartbreaking.

It was excruciatingly traumatizing, that even the boy who appeared to be unbothered and distant, the boy who put an end to the cold-blooded century old vampire's curse, couldn't deny it.

Jotaro Kujo couldn't get away from the memories of his dying friends, and so, the supposed flashbacks became inescapable nightmares.

But fortunately, that was until you came.

You met Jotaro a month after he came back from his trip. The meeting was a mere coincidence as you were a year lower than him, you personally did not and had no intentions of getting to know him. It just so happened that Holly or Seiko, his mother, came across your small shop that sold self-designed accessories made from recycled materials. You had told her you search and pick the materials —mostly trash— yourself, which certainly piqued the woman's interest and told you, “Is that right? I have a son, and don't tell him I told you this, but he loves marine animals! It seems you are both fond of nature so I'm sure you'll get along— Oh! I'm sorry dear, we haven't introduced ourselves! I'm Holly Kujo, but you can call me Seiko~”. She was a sweetheart, so you saw no harm in accepting her offer that led you to become a close acquaintance of the Kujo Family.

Much to the matchmaker's Seiko's dismay, it took a year for you and Jotaro to confess that your platonic feelings are in need of a level up. She is Jotaro's mother and your first Kujo friend, of course she'd notice if something was up between you and Jotaro that you both refused to talk about! When you finally re-introduced yourself as Jotaro's.. cough.. girlfriend, Seiko was delighted and decided to treat her second favorite couple (next to her parents Joseph and Suzie) to a nice romantic dinner! The unplanned date embarrassed Jotaro, but he endured it as it gave a good start for the new level of your relationship with him.

Until then, Jotaro became more and more protective. You found it sweet knowing that your boyfriend, former acquaintance, cares about you and shows affection in ways you quite expected for a forbearing man like him. He's not a man of words nor materialistic gifts but a man of straightforward actions— yet he remained mysterious.

Jotaro has been avoiding you since the week has started. He distanced himself yet guarded you as you walked home after class everyday. Everytime you tried to catch him, he's nowhere to be seen. You started to get frustrated, and you know you wouldn't get any explanation even if you corner him and face him alone.

Seiko called you today and asked if you could have dinner wih them, which you excitedly agreed to because you were actually on the way to the Kujo household, a paper bag —which contained your newly designed rings and necklace— in hand.

With Seiko greeting you outside their gates, you entered their traditional mansion and told her about the happenings from the previous days. Even with the mention of Jotaro's sudden actions, Seiko chatted with you nonchalantly.

“Dear, you know my boy would do things that can be a little too unexpected even for me,” Seiko stated, “But if there's one thing or two that I can assure of, is that he means no harm..” You stopped in your tracks as she faced you and tucked your hair behind your ear, smiling, “And he cares for you, [Y/N]. I think, that may be his way of showing it!” Seiko spoke with softness, hopeful that her words would reach you and get rid of any confusion that would spark a misunderstanding on her stoic son's intentions.

You smiled back at Seiko with teary eyes, touched by her comfort. You pulled out the necklace from your paper bag and showed it to her, quietly telling her that it's your gift, only to receive an enthusiastic squeal and hug before you locked the accessory around her neck.

“It looks perfect on you Seiko! I wonder if I'd be as beautiful as you when I reach your age..” You sighed and pouted at Seiko, holding the paper bag on your middle.

“Oh, you!” Seiko playfully hit you as you both giggled, “You shouldn't say such things to a middle aged woman, [Y/N]! I might believe you!” Seiko joked while you insisted that you're sincere about your compliment.

Your chat continued on until she told you to run along and check on her boy, not forgetting to tease that Jotaro misses you. You face warmed in pink, which Seiko found so cute that she had to pinch your cheeks. With her positive and welcoming presence, your determination to face Jotaro fueled.

Seiko informed you that she'll be preparing dinner. You replied, “Mhm! I'll drag Jotaro and we'll meet you here at the dining room! Is that okay?”

“Okay~!”

—

Meanwhile Jotaro, who hasn't come out of his room the whole day, heard you and Seiko pass by. He was sitting in the far corner of his room but the combined voices of yours and his mother's particularly blasted through his ears. He's.. happy.. that you're both safe and sound.. but— why are you here? You should be at home! Did something happen? Did someone bother you? Wait.. did you come here alone? Didn't he tell you even before that you shouldn't go out at night? What if.. what if something happened to you? What if someone showed up and.. and took you away? Took you somewhere.. he can't reach.. What if his dreams were to happen? What if—

Knock! Knock!

Jotaro's sweating face turned to look at his door as his breathing became more unsteady. His eyes widened, brows clashed, and his mouth was agape, gasping for more air. His fists were clenched and he was trembling, who's knocking? Who's trying to get him again?

“Kujo?”

Jotaro stopped breathing for a second while his body still trembled. The voice that called him held sweetness and concern in it but he was still in a dark trance. What if someone's trying to deceive him?

“Seiko called me, may I come in?”

His widened eyes calmed, turning his tormented expression into one of those longingness. His shuddering arm reached out as he subconsciously stood and walked towards his shut door. His cold hand gripped the handle.. but he didn't have the slightest strength to pull it himself. What is he doing? He can't face anyone like this, especially..

On the other side of Jotaro's door was you, with a hand that also gripped the cold handle, waiting for the right timing to enter. Your heartbeat has increased its pace, indicating your uptight feeling of facing him after not seeing him for over a week. You were nervous and a short flashback of your first meeting with Jotaro popped up in your mind. Has it really been two years?

Jotaro never directly told you of his.. episodes. But, there were times where you just happened to observe that whenever you were late on your meeting, he immediately scoops you in a hug while he trembles; or whenever you randomly visit him on weekends and you enter his room only with a knock, he abruptly charges at you with his folded fist stopping inches from your worried face. He didn't tell you about what's haunting him, not even once. Yes, you were undeniably frustrated by him avoiding you, but you love him well enough to have the willingness to act up whilst having patience.

You waited for more minutes before speaking again, “I'm gonna enter now, alright?” You assured, carefully sliding the door behind you and turning on the light switch after you entered.

Your eyes wandered after it adjusted to the lit room, locking on the form of a slouched man in the corner, sitting with a knee up that had his arm and head resting on it while his other knee was folded. You quietly sighed and walked close to him, hiding the impatience to throw yourself at him and pepper him with kisses, mumbling i missed yous. You would have done it, but that kind of affection.. goes for later.

You sat beside Jotaro and placed the paper bag on your side. You weren't too close nor too far from him, just enough to have your hand caress his messy dark hair. You loved seeing him without his hat, seeing his flawless face be shadowless. But if he took it off, the reason is either he's agitated or.. sleep. There was a time when you told him that he should take off his hat indoors and a time you tried to take it off yourself, but he completely ignored you at both and kept the hat on.

“How are you?” You asked without expecting a reply. It was to make him acknowledge your presence, and that is because you didn't know that he's been waiting for you to come in since the moment he heard your voice.

Jotaro wanted to answer. He wanted to lock you in his arms and.. say sorry. He wanted to apologize for neglecting you but— how is he going to do that without telling you too much?

“Why the f*ck did my mother call you? I don't need any help. That b*tch.”

There it is, his method of putting up a tough facade, the swearing that would prompt anybody to think that he needs no help. It worked on you once, but you're not just anybody to him now.

“Mhm. Seiko checked up on me while I was heading home from.. somewhere. She invited me for dinner,” You informed. You didn't want to tell him that you were on your way here even before Seiko called you, knowing full well that he's against you ‘roaming’ at night alone.

You continued to comb through his hair as he answered, “For real [Y/N], I'm fine. Leave. I don't need you to stay here— or.. or something.”

Your hand lowered to his upper back and started to rub circles, “Would you look at me and say that again, Kujo?” you asked in a slightly teasing tone, trying to light up the mood.

You started humming a soft melody, a melody that somehow always soothed Jotaro. The first time you hummed it was when you were cooking dinner for him and Seiko wasn't home. He got into a fight that day and he was abnormally quiet, not the usual, resulting to a tension between the two of you. You hummed the melody to ease the atmosphere, and when you were placing his plate on the table, he suddenly grabbed your wrist and muttered an apology before he told you to ‘keep doing’ what you were doing. The melody was just random, so you did your best to remember its tone and hum it whenever you both need comfort.

And this time, he was soothed again, but he isn't going to be swayed so easily even if he wants to.

“F*cking go away.” He huffs, “You're just like the annoying b*tch. Leave me alone.”

No, stay. He stated in his mind the complete opposite of what came out of his mouth. Of course you didn't leave and continued to hum and rub circles on his back. He may be one of the harshest men you've met, but you have a counter for that. Well.. you're stubborn.

He remembered what you said about heading home from.. somewhere. Where was that? “Where were you coming from?” He asked in a demanding tone.

“Doesn't matter where I was, Kujo. You're still not looking at me.” You retreated your hand from his back and crawled to sit in front of him in crossed legs before placing your hands on his large ones, “I wouldn't mind being like Seiko, although..” You squeezed the top of his hands, bowed your body and peeked at his face where your warm [E/C] eyes met his tired yet enchanting aquamarines. Your lips quirked into a small smile, “You wouldn't want your partner to be your second mother, would you?”

Partner?

Jotaro looked at you blankly, not realizing how close your faces were, “You're still worrying about me too much, I'm fine. I'm.. I'm just remembering..” You straightened and held his cheeks, gently pulling up his face before standing on your knees. You shifted your hand and cupped his face, delicately looking at him to encourage him to speak.

In that moment where he's putting his toughness down, you've completely set aside the issue from the past week. The thoughts that Jotaro might've had enough of you because he thinks you're oblivious to his personal issues— all gone. Holly's words echoed through your mind. Mother truly knows best.

“Egypt.. friends dyi—” Jotaro cut his words and sighed deeply, “..all of it is hitting hard. You won't understand.”

You bit your bottom lip and nodded. He's right, you would not be able to understand, but that's temporary. It'll take more time for him but you're willing to wait, “I.. dream of you..” He swallows the lump in his throat while you wipe the sweat forming on his temple, “I dream of you dying too.”

With that, you were able to catch on more of what happened before you came in his life. People close to him died. People who he probably traveled with.. might have died right before him.. or not. And now he's being haunted, probably by the guilt or by the experience itself. You're still skeptical, but it's considerably clear now.

Your eyes that looked at your hand which wiped his bead of sweat shifted to his eyes, and you saw fear. He was frightened, not only by the past, but also by the possibility that he might lose you too.

You retreated your hands and sat on your legs as you and Jotaro continued to communicate through your eyes. Your heart was thumping fast against your chest, now of sympathy.

“Jotaro, I..”

This time, you threw yourself at him. Arms snaking around his neck, your face buried on his shoulder. You wrapped him in a tight hug as it took him time to return the affection, wrapping his arms around your back and pulling you even closer as he closed his eyes and basked his head on yours. You and Jotaro savored the hug for a while, not thinking about anything else aside being in each other's arms.

“I'm here.. and I'm telling you that I'll be here to love you longer than that delinquent head of yours expected.”

You broke the hug gently, a hand shifting to cup his cheek while you also reached for the paper bag. Jotaro opened his eyes as he felt you fix his sitting position so you could sit —with crossed legs— on his thighs, laying your back on his chest.

“See this?” You lifted the paper bag with both hands, giving Jotaro the chance to once again wrap his arms around your waist. He doesn't mind giving in to your touch as of now.

Jotaro grunted, “Inside this lovely recycled and eco-friendly paper bag are things that.. uhm.. how do I introduce it..” You slowly placed your head on his shoulder, putting the bag down between your legs. You contemplated as you stared on the wooden ceiling, “I know! The things.. consider it as our promise to each other, Kujo. Am I clear? Yep, I'm clear!”

Jotaro clicked his tounge in annoyance as you lifted your head from his shoulder when he was about to rest his head against yours. Why can't he just cuddle you without you moving too much? Can't you and him just cuddle in peace?

You shifted again, now face to face with him. You acted surprise when you saw his furrowed brow, “Oh? Kujo is annoyed with the mighty [L/N]?”

“Just get it over with, woman.” Jotaro supported your back with an arm, watching you as you struggled to hold his free hand with one of yours. You had set aside the paper bag, the things in it now hidden in your other hand.

When you finally settled with wrapping your small hand around his palm so his fingers were loose, you smiled up at him and swiftly leaned in to kiss the tip of his nose. Jotaro turned away, snorting to at least lessen his flustered state. Where is his hat now that he practically needs it?

Jotaro felt a cold thing graze his skin, along with what seems to be two fingers pushing the thing on his. He glanced and saw you inserting a ring on his pinky with a serious face. You were glaring at his hand, your smile only returning when you successfully inserted the ring.

You let go of his hand and was about to wear the other ring yourself when he grabbed your wrist, snatched the ring and easily inserted the accessory on your pinky, all of it with only one hand as his other arm was still supporting you.

You were taken aback, ready to question him when he pulled you into a bridal position and locked your upper body with his arms within a second. You chuckled instead of saying a thing, wrapping your arms around his torso.

“Keen for a cuddle, huh, Kujo?”

“Good grief. You're one brave woman to challenge me.”

As you and Jotaro became ignorant to your surroundings, a flash of a camera resided from the slightly opened door, the sound being followed by a muffled kyaaah! which, with no doubt, came from the adorably giddy mother of the impatient man in your arms.

[End!]

[khaleesiofalicante]

I was going to wait until the end of Malec week/month but since today is Malec Pride, I thought it'd be better to say now! 😊

Since I was very young, I had moments were I expressed attraction to girls - I kissed my friends because I wanted to, I was drawn to images of girls in relationships and at the age of 6 or 7, I remember being so distraught because I thought it meant I couldn't get married or have kids. My parents found images of girls on my laptop (nothing really explicit, just girls kissing really) and I remember them sitting me down and going, "you know these are two girls don't you?" - from that point I just kind of dismissed it for a while and concentrated on boys because I thought they were nice too.

Then when I was about 12, I started getting into books - one of the first series was TSC. And I remember reading about Alec and being so anamoured by him! I read city of bones and wanted to know who he was going to be with and when I saw it was Magnus I was shocked but excited! From that point, I'd watch any show that had a LGBTQ+ character in it and by reading about Malec and all these characters and other media, I realised that I was bisexual.

Alec and Magnus are my favourite characters of all time. Alec's loyalty, his protectiveness, his desire to dedicate his life to making others' lives safer - and I got to see him develop from someone ashamed to someone proudly him. Magnus' charm, reassurance, pride and kindness - and his bisexuality, the first bisexual character I ever read who was like me. When I hear people close to me - my mum or my bf's family - say that bisexual people are greedy or attention seekers or confused (they're straight or gay, they're just confused!) I think of Magnus Lightwood-Bane and know they're wrong.

Luckily, my friends are great (all turned out to be LGBTQ+ 😂), my bf is understanding and supporting even though he's not used to LGBTQ+ circles and I overhead my dad say when I was 16, "I think she'll be bisexual; she loves who she loves."

When TSC ends, I'll have experienced these characters for about 13 years; they were there throughout my teens and be there for most of my 20s. I love them so much and so happy they've been part of my life for so long ❤

(Sorry this was so long! Just wanted to get my pride on!)

This was so beautiful and heartfelt and endearing. 

Thank you so much for sharing this with you. It’s ALWAYS so gratifying to hear how much magnus and alec mean to someone else. 

I’m so glad they helped you through this. I’m so glad they were there for you. That they are still there for you. 

I’m so proud of you, you beautiful butterfly 💙

[angelsonthesideline]

Tales From the Ex-Crypt Vol. 9

Wow.. volume 9.. I'm going to wrap it up with this one because I really don't want to live in the past or think about any of these people any more. I'm happy, even if Mr HTG is still not officially mine, I only want to look forward and these crypts will be closed. There are definitely more stories than the ones I've written here.. but this is the one that people are like "NO.. that only happens in movies!"

So, I was minding my own business at work when one of my regular customers walked in with a friend. They had been at a dinner party, and started talking about winter tires, and my customer said that the friend had to come see me for tires, and proceeded to bring him in. His friend wasn't someone who really stood out to me, there was nothing remarkable to me about him. He was nice enough, mild mannered, tall, blue eyes, great smile (I'm a sucker for eyes and smiles) and we went over some tire options. I sent them on their way with the friend having his quotes in hand.

I didn't really think anything more of it, it was busy (snow) season and I was plenty busy. A week or so later, the friend comes back, he had decided on some tires and steel wheels and put his deposit down on the order. I wrote up the order, and handed him his copy, when he asked "so when do I get to see you again?" and my smart ass responded with something to the effect of when he got his tires on.

I hadn't really paid any attention to him prior to that moment, and he wasn't my "type" at all. I went home, and something kept nagging at me about him, so I sent him a text after getting his number off his order slip. This is not something I generally do, but since he'd already asked me out, I didn't feel like I was overstepping. This was also 10 years ago.

I didn't hear anything back until the Monday, when I got a profuse apology for the delay, and the excuse that he had had his phone stolen while having lunch on a patio over the weekend in a busy tourist town.

We started talking regularly, he came in and got his snow tires in the meantime, and we hung out for our first "date". He told me he was on a joint task force for terrorist threats between the FBI and CSIS and had to travel often as the supervisor of his unit. He said he would try to see me as often as possible but that it wasn't always a lot of time. I didn't mind, as I was busy and we facetimed and talked by text and phone. I never felt neglected.

We dated for a year, our relationship was amazing, we got along so well, and he made me strive to be my best self. I lost a ton of weight, was eating well, and made an appointment with my doctor to get my mental health in check.

We never had sex, we just had incredibly hot makeout sessions. I always thought it was odd that he didn't want to go any further, but he said he had had a bad experience and wanted to wait until we were married. As he was on the smaller side, I figured that had something to do with it, but I was so absolutely in love by that point it didn't really matter.

He had all sorts of pics of him in his flack in his suits, in the cars, with the guns, or just in offices. I'd get a text or call saying he was flying in and was driving to see me, but would only have about an hour or two to spend with me before he had to get back to his team and back on the road. It kept things exciting, and I loved surprise visits when he'd text me at work that he was outside.

I wanted to see him more, of course, especially as things got more intense between us. But it was always a matter of time for him. No matter how awful other things in my life were going, whenever asked how things with him were, I would immediately brighten and say they were amazing.

My anxiety was getting to a very dysfunctional level, and I was struggling hardcore to manage it. I went to the doctor, he arranged for me to begin therapy. He was supportive when I told him. This was around our 1 year together. But the next time I got to see him, I got doused with ice water, when I gifted him with an expensive watch and he told me he wanted to take our relationship back a step because of his schedule. His reason was that I was amazing and I deserved to be able to pursue someone who could give me everything he wasn't able to due to his job. I was blindsided and devastated. Because I loved him so much, and was dumb, I agreed to try. I'm an absolutely all-in or all-out type of personality, there is no grey middle ground for me. It is why I do struggle with FWB and casual arrangements, unless I have mentally steeled myself to be all-out and just enjoy the moment without feelings.

My first year of therapy and into my second was almost fully dedicated to dealing with this trauma. I have never had a break up so devastating. I am pretty sure most of the damage came from the shock, but also from the "trying" to move forward with him flitting in and out of my life instead of just cutting clean ties.

I cried a lot.. I was so stressed my cortisol levels caused my body to produce more than double the healthy level of reverse T3, completely messing up my thyroid and metabolism, I gained weight, lost energy and all the other fall out. It took me years to recover, and moving to NS and stumbling upon a doctor who treated the thyroid issues (which seem to be back in working order now after some thyroid hormone therapy).

I have never ever let someone have so much impact on my life, and the only reason I can ever explain it with was just the depth of love I had for this man. I don't even know why or what sucked me in, beyond his confidence and charm. He was one of the many devil Aquarius that I dated, always trying to prove the zodiac/astrology stuff was absolutely wrong (because I am generally SO drawn to Aquarius and have dated that sign more than any other). The zodiac definitely kicked my ass with Aquarius to show me that I fucked around and found out the hard way for sure.

We did the on and off/casual thing for 6 months before it was too toxic and messed me up too badly and I cut him off. It was about 6 months later he crawled back, and we tried it again for about another 6 months before I broke again and cut him off permanently.

I tried to not think of him, and started trying to move on with dating. My longterm ex and I had become gaming friends again by this point, in a mostly healthy and functional way. He had asked me to get an app called Voxter so he could send me voice messages (pre-imsg) and I had. You have to make an account to use Voxter though, and then the app itself didn't pick up my soft voice so I deleted it. But the account remained.

One day, I get an email that I have a new suggested contact/friend on Voxter. I open the email, and low and behold, it is Mr Aquarius Devil... and I'm like "hmm.. I don't have any of his new contact information in my phone" so I go to my computer and open my gmail.. start typing in his name and up pops this picture:

The fucker was MARRIED... and had a KID.

I will say, that was the BEST closure ever.. I was INSTANTLY over his ass instead of lamenting WHY it hadn't worked and what I had possibly done wrong. What I had done wrong, was fall for a fucking dirtbag.

Now, I work with the public.. and I had lots of regular customers that would ask me how I was and what was going on with me, and share what was going on with them. I was angry, and I showed a few of them this pic and was like "look at this fucker, he has a WIFE and KID" and I think it got back to him.

Two weeks after I stumbled upon this picture on his gmail, I got a full confessional email from him.

Turns out, he had been married for 12 years, and his son was 7 at the time I found out. Not only that, but he wasn't in law enforcement, HE WAS A PASTOR.. He had also gotten busted for sleeping with two women in his congregation, and fooling around with two others. He had lost his congregation and his church was sending him out west to some rehab. His wife was staying with him, and moving out there with him. He basically said it was all a lie (everything) and that his therapist said he had to write apology letters and explain himself to his victims (like myself). He said it was an ego trip to compensate for low self esteem. So basically, I was just an ego boosting toy for him.

A year later, I received a random text message from a southern Alberta phone number. I am guessing it was his wife, as all it said was "Have you been in contact with J***?" and I was like "J*** who?" and never heard anything ever again. But I am sure he was already back to his old tricks.

[dovechim]

After a hectic week I can finally sit down and dedicate the next hour or so to continue my story because I really want to get to the part which I'd like to hear your opinion - and everyone else's - about!! ☆ Long Story Anon

So we kept messaging for the following days, both busy with our respective classes; but before I knew it and I can't say I was surprised, he invited me to do something again less than a week later. We're from a considerably small city, there isn't much to do around here, so we had a hard time coming up with an idea. Well, he suggested to pick me up and we'd go back to his house to eat something, to which I agreed. I was with my friend and we were both jumping around from excitement ☆ 1

Needless to say my friends all loved him; they were happy that after such a long time and with such bad luck in love I finally found what seemed to be the last guy on earth who was worth more than two seconds of my life. I knew going to his house implied something more serious than making out could happen, but honestly I didn't mind if it did. In context, he lived with his little brother and parents; where we're from it's common at our age to still live at home since we've not graduated yet ☆2

But he'd mentioned during the first date that his parents were away for an anniversary holiday and his little brother was staying with the oldest one who lived in his own apartment with his fiance; meaning we had the house for ourselves. As planned he picked me up and took me there, had some food delivered and we watched terrible horror films on netflix. He'd cheesily try to put his arm around me on the couch and I'd move closer, ending up snuggled together with my heart about to burst ☆ 3

At one point both brothers and the fiance show up with some food, for some reason and that's when I knew half his family on the second date lol. But they moved upstairs quite quickly after eating and left us alone to watch the movies. Eventually he'd kiss my cheek, not-so-subtly letting me know he wanted to KISS-kiss me, but me being the nervous little shit I am didn't really know what to do. It'd been two whole years since I even attempted to make out with someone!! ☆ 4

So he had to move even closer and he said, which I'll never forget: "you're so shy", which I wasn't surprised about, it's not common for a 22 year old to be that reserved, I guess, but with a little bit of patience that single moment turned into the best first kiss I've ever had. I was so scared he'd be a terrible kisser, like I'd experienced before bc that's just a deal breaker for me and everything else about him was so perfect; but boy...was I wrong. We ended up making out for so long that ☆5

Our lips hurt, and he didn't even try to go too far, already noticing that I wasn't the kind of girl to tear off our clothes and start fucking (not that I didn't wish I were lol), so he just held me tight and took me home eventually. God, the memory of his kisses will never leave my mind. To this day I still get butterflies because it was the kind of kiss that makes you feel like your bodies fit together and makes your toes curl :') ☆ 6

im so soft for you and him already :”)))) it’s so sweet that he wasn't afraid of scaring you off and still went for it!! a lot of guys i know are hesitant about dating an inexperienced girl bc they’re scared they will scare her off, and once my friend asked me how he should chase after a girl who has never dated. i literally got so pissed lmao i just said “just fucking treat her like a fucking normal person!!! what are you intending to do that might scare her off???” 

We had a third date after that, about a week later. We went out to eat and it was the day he started posting instagram stories with me and tbh I was surprised. In our generation it takes more than just a couple of dates for a guy to 'announce' he's not 'single' anymore. You know, like if he had intention of seeing other girls at the same time he wouldn't be parading me around for everyone to see, which only fed my hopes of him being 'the one' even more ☆ 7

omg yes :/ the dating culture is so complicated lmao like ppl can be going out with different people at the same time and there’s a certain time after which you’re considered exclusive... it’s so tiring tbh

Another week passed and out of the blue he was asking me to meet his parents. He was very lowkey about it; he said he missed me, mentioning they'd returned from NY and asking if we could meet again that night, but "my parents would be there too, is that a problem?" lol. So I said no, obviously, even though I was shitting my pants, I'd never met a boy's parents in that context before but he seemed excited. He picked me up and we drove back to his place where they were waiting for me ☆ 8

I decided I didn't want to read too much into it back then, but still couldn't help but notice that the older borther+fiance had dropped plans to go to dinner with us so 'the whole family would be there to meet me'. Did that mean him bringing a girl home wasn't that common? Was I actually that special? As if I didn't notice myself falling fast and hard for me enough, his whole family welcomed me with huge open arms. His little brother, extroverted as they come at the age of 10 did everything ☆9

To include me in the conversations; the older brother would tell embarrassing stories. The parents, both doctors, both dating since college and pretty much the whole family (fiancee included) were some of the most welcoming people I'd ever met. They treated me like a family member from the very beginning and noticing how nervous I was they would try to make the dinner as easy going as they could. The guy in question, let's call him Jed? Would hold my hand under the table to calm me down ☆ 10

Or rub soothing circles over my the fabric of my jeans to distract me when a family member would embarrass him. I fell in love with his family as fast as I fell in love with him and I just couldn't believe I'd found someone so perfect. We'd make out until our lips were sore and he'd drop me off at home always leaving me with a feeling of sadness that I had to say goodbye. He made me so happy that I started to go out more, meeting my friends I was just in such a good mood because of him ☆ 11

no you must have been so nervous!!!!! i mean i get that he was low key but  still... parents are a big deal. i hope his intentions were rly pure and that he was that into you!! but im glad they were nice :”) 

I'd even dare to say he made me a better person in ways only I can understand. He'd text me what he was doing or who he was with every day, all the time, even if I didn't ask -which I never did. Sure, he wasn't perfect; sometimes he'd forget we had plans. I have a feeling he lied to me a couple of times but about nothing really major; sometimes he'd be in a bad mood and be sarcastic and annoying af but honestly nothing too bad. All in all I had absolutely nothing to complain about him☆ 12

It wasn't until around a month and a half into the 'relationship' that we went out for drinks and then back to his place that he tried to have sex with me (he'd waited to bring it up more than any other guy I'd ever met lol). I didn't directly tell him I was a virgin, he kinda guessed, and he was more than okay with it, even saying 'I'll wait as long as you want to'; and damn I didn't really want to wait that long, it was just that the time was never right! ☆ 13

At this point we'd both had dinner with his parents several times already. They told me in that household they'd set the habit of having dinner together every night, and were more than happy to let me into their little tradition. At more casual nights we'd sit down and watch some film on netflix, the parents and little brother always moving upstairs at the end and leaving us both alone to make out some more lol. I was even invited to his dad's birthday dinner at a fancy ass restaurant ☆ 14

this is so cute 😭 im just very ugh whenever a guy kinda hints at sex bc dude u gotta make me WANT it not just ask for it :/ but it sounds like he was super respectful!! and tbh im just very bad with other ppl’s parents, but his sounds rly perfect  😭 do such ppl even exist??? i cant even remember the last time i ate w my family :/ 

So by the third month I already felt part of that family tbh. I'd cooked alongside the mother like lifelong friends, and sat down for coffee after dinner to talk about how fast technology is moving with his dad. His little brother would tell jokes or ask me to teach him some guitar and I think they began to love me as much and as fast as I loved them, honestly. I was even invited to the dog's birthday part lmfao I was just unable to attend but was kindly provided with video memories ☆ 15

Everything was going so perfect, I think we could've lasted so much longer but maybe just the timing wasn't right. I still remember him dearly though, but back then I had my heart broken so bad that I simply wish I'd never met him. What hurt the most was growing so attached to his family and then out of the blue, and without a single chance to say goodbye I never saw any of them again. I should've known life isn't a movie or a book and nothing that starts so well can end just as happily ☆ 16

WHY ARE YOU USING PAST TENSE?????????? NO!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO SHAKEN RIGHT NOW bc this feels like that part in a book where the author’s just leading u towards that horribly devastating ending and that’s exactly what ur doing  😭

The last night I went to his house - btw we never visited MY house because MY family as much as I love them to death aren't as welcoming as his was with me, so until I knew FOR SURE this guy and I were serious, I decided to suggest activities that required not being at my place lol - the whole evening started weirdly. He'd been taking longer than usual to text me, and it was getting too late so I though we just weren't doing anything but he insisted he wanted to see me ☆ 17

And fuck, I wanted to see him to, once or twice a week just wasn't enough anymore and I missed his touch so badly. So I agreed for him to pick me up, even though he kind of strung me along for a few hours. By the time he picked me up I hadn't eaten, not knowing wth we were going to do but he said he'd had dinner before picking me up. Why would he though? He knew we had plans, which usually involved dinner, why not wait for me for eating? Either way, I'd missed him, I wasn't about to fight ☆ 18

We reached his place and his mom was already going upstairs for sleeping along with the little brother; the father was performing a surgery so we were alone at the living room together. He was a little tense and I didn't understand why, he said he was tired because he'd had class up until late and I asked if he just wanted me to leave but he asked me not to; he wanted to see me, he wanted me to stay. We cuddled on the couch and I had to wake him back up several times, growing annoyed ☆ 19

And when the dad got home he quickly got up and pretended to do something in the kitchen. The man had to eat and we had to wait for him to leave to sit back together, the whole situation was awkward af. I was wondering if I should just call a cab and leave, but he insisted not to. At around 2am (it was a friday) while making out he asked if I wanted to go up to his room, to which I said yes. He knew what that meant, so he was excited about it, going upstairs to check if his room was clear ☆ 20

Damn, I hit ask limit again :'( I'll have to leave it here right now but I swear I'll get to the point eventually lol I'm sorry!! also thank you for giving me your patience and space to tell this story, I feel like this way I can tell it without filters about what really happened or how I felt and actually receive honest unbiased opinions

omg i literally cannot believe u ended right there??????? i hate tumblr’s ask limit. im on the edge of my seat right now!!! thank you for taking the time to send me these, im so invested in ur story now its insane!! 

come back whenever you have time bb

[littlespoonevan]

If you are taking prompts (and feel so inspired...) I would love to hear your thoughts on how Isak and Even have evolved over the past 3 months. Does Even have a key to kollektivet yet? Has Isak introduced Even to his parents? How has living in the "now" and not being fake anymore changed Isak? I miss watching them learn and evolve together and I'd love to hear your thoughts on how things have changed!

oh yes i love this idea, let’s talk about this!!! (i have already written about isak meeting even’s parents so i didn’t include it but you can read it here)

december is a lesson in learning to be

with the circumstances of how they got together and the resulting pain that came from misunderstandings and even’s episode, their relationship had hurtled forward into something very serious very fast

and it’s not necessarily easy to go back from that

when you’re put in such a situation that makes you realise you would go to the ends of the earth for someone you can’t suddenly forget that just because things are settled again

but isak had meant it when he said minute by minute

so they make a fresh start of sorts

they focus on dating and tentatively becoming boyfriends

it’s offset somewhat by the fact that even still spends most nights in isak’s bed and the fact that beneath the excitement of starting a relationship there’s the undeniable warmth of unwavering love to cushion them

but they have their first date the week before christmas: a simple dinner and a movie type scenario

and this would seem boring and cliche, maybe, to someone else

but not to isak

because even loves movies and isak can’t think of a better date idea than getting to watch him bounce excitedly on his heels as they wait in line in the lobby, to hear his little intake of breath when the lights go down inside the theatre, to watch the way he stares at the screen with rapt attention for the entire film, to listen to him ramble all the way home on the tram and then for another hour while they’re getting ready for bed and then in bed about all the camera work and the themes of the story

eventually even seems to realise their conversation has been fairly one sided and he cuts himself off with a sheepish expression. “i’ve been rambling, haven’t I?” he asks, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment

but isak just smiles fondly, expression half-buried in the pillow. “I don’t mind,” he whispers. “i like listening to you talk about this stuff.”

and even is just so- floored. bc he doesn’t know how he got so lucky to have this boy in his arms

he kisses his smile into isak’s mouth before asking, “so do i get a second date?”

isak hums as he pretends to think about it and murmurs a soft, “i think so.”

they go on seven more dates throughout december

they still see each other almost every day, still hang out with their friends and kollektivet together, but their dates - those are the times reserved just for themselves

dedicated to making steps in their relationship and telling each other stories about their families and their pasts that aren’t always serious, that are sometimes just tidbits and anecdotes to make each other smile because they’re nice memories and they feel like sharing them

by the time they reach new year’s eve isak feels like they’re stable 

they’re on the right track 

they’ve managed just over four weeks of being boyfriends and it’s working

they’ve found their footing now; they can keep moving forward

january and the return to school poses an entirely new challenge

things have settled between them now and isak had spent most of christmas break getting used to being affectionate with even around his friends

not overly so, but the small touches - leaning into each other, an arm around a shoulder, a kiss on the cheek - they’ve done them all and isak feels okay

feels good

because by some unspoken rule his friends seem to be able to tell that making a big deal out of it would make him uncomfortable, they know he’s not ready for playful teasing yet

so instead they don’t react at all except to perhaps offer a smile

but now they’re going back to school and even is feeling so much better than he was before they broke for christmas and they’re settled 

and isak needs to learn how he wants to act with even in public

the first day back to school is terrifying and isak hesitates at the gate with even by his side because he wants his life to be real and he wants to live in the now but his old insecurities are still very much real and the thought of people staring at him, at them, makes his stomach churn

even waits patiently beside him while he decides what to do

(the truth is even is nervous too, he hasn’t been to school since his episode and he’s still unsure of how people are going to treat him)

it’s this knowledge, that even is also afraid, that makes isak react

“hold my hand,” he says, eyes still trained anxiously on the crowded school yard

even blinks at him in surprise, “what?”

“hold my hand,” he repeats. “i’m not brave enough to hold yours but if you take mine i won’t let go.”

even watches him a moment longer, the words ticking over in his head

but then isak looks at him and whispers, “we both need it,” and even’s taking a deep breath and sliding their palms together, fingers interlocking and gripping tight

they walk in together and isak holds his breath until they reach the boys but when no one seems to be paying them any attention he feels his hold on even’s hand relax slightly

even squeezes his hand once in acknowledgement

the first week is made up of little touches: knees knocking under the table in the cafeteria, shoulders brushing as they walk down the hall together, private smiles and hands lingering when they say goodbye in the morning

and by the end of the week isak feels- better

no one really bothered to look at them besides the odd glance on the first day back 

he figures most people saw them at parties over christmas break so the shock must have worn off by now

that doesn’t magically make him comfortable because his insecurities are still rooted deep inside the depths of his mind but when they walk into school the following monday he takes even’s hand and his heart is pounding in his chest but he feels proud

slowly he learns how to sit with even during lunch how he sits with him when they’re at his kitchen table having pre-drinks with the boys  - casual touches, limbs overlapping here and there, comfy

by the second week back even starts kissing his cheek as a hello or a goodbye and isak is surprised at the fact his only reaction is the same giddy fizziness he gets in his tummy whenever even does anything sweet

the day he kisses even’s cheek when they’re saying goodbye at the lockers he blushes to the high heavens and even is grinning like an idiot when he steps back

kisses on the lips are reserved for secluded hallways and empty classrooms but on one of the last days of january even kisses him goodbye when there are still a few people lingering in the hallway and isak doesn’t flinch away

he leans into it, just a little, and smiles shyly when even murmurs a goodbye

and the world keeps on turning

february is routine

it’s dinner with even’s parents every wednesday night

it’s even being given a key to kollektivet and his name being written next to isak’s on a shelf in the cabinet and being added to kollektivet group chat because “i know you don’t live here but you live here”

(”oh my gOD eskild shut up”)

it’s saturday night date nights because parties are always on fridays and they’re usually too tired on sundays to do anything

it’s after school coffee dates 

it’s designated friend time because it’s important that they don’t get lost in each other and forget the rest of the world

it’s the two of them desperately trying to cling to “minute by minute” when their heads are already thinking about weeks, months, and years from now

they’ve been together long enough to know they’re in this

they’re in love and they don’t plan on stopping any time soon

plans are made taking one another into account

and when they think about the future they undeniably see one another in it

and it’s not always easy

isak is still learning about even’s mental illness and even’s still trying to help isak work through his own self-acceptance and there are bad days

and days where it’s fucking hard

but they take care of each other and they stand by each other and they hold each other

because it’s been three months and isak is now sure of two things:

life is now

and they’re an us