#I'd be abandoning the first community that welcomed me despite them pointing me in this direction since they know they can't help me convert

[foxxsong]

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[onethousandwords]

Self-Sacrifice, Forgiveness, and Other Christian Elements in Gravity Falls

I'm a Christian who enjoys various books, cartoons, anime, and video games. Although, I believe the Bible is the best source for really understanding and appreciating God, I think God also speaks through nature, people, and various sources of media that people create. Maybe not in whole but in part. I'd like to disclaimer this by saying that I'm aware Alex Hirsch is Jewish (and seems to have a secular worldview which doesn't exclude him from being charitable). I pray that he opens his heart to Jesus, but I'm aware that there is a trend in modern Christianity that involves Christians or people claiming to be Christians to behave in ways that are distinctly not Christ-like. I have been guilty of not behaving in a very Christ-like manner myself (in different ways - I have my struggles), but it pains me to see people in the LGBTQ+ community turned away and unwelcomed in the faith, to see people with means being uncharitable, to hear hateful rhetoric.

But I'm hopeful that he could be open to the idea as he did create at least one character (a side character) that he seems to enjoy (and fans also enjoy) that is strongly hinted as having a Christian (possibly Catholic) background. This is a side character, though. The Pines family (the main characters of the show) are Jewish. Also, the show at times can be irreverent (Stanley Pines is a criminal and at one point prays to Paul Bunyan for help) and leans a little too heavily on the occult (though, it does showcase an element of danger to that, so I don't feel like it actually encourages it that much - regardless of how Alex jokes about it). But it is a well-written and enjoyable show.

With that disclaimer out of the way, let's get into finding God in Gravity Falls! In Gravity Falls, self-sacrifice seems to be a common theme in the show. It is also an extolled virtue in Christianity and in general. But Christians are often called to "take up our cross" (Matthew 16:24-26) - basically putting to death the self (self-sacrifice) for the sake of others. If the characters aren't self-sacrificing something for each other, they're learning to be more self-sacrificial. This is first seen in the episode Legend of the Gobblewonker where Dipper and Mabel initially brush off their great uncle (grunkle) Stan's attempt to bond with them via fishing in favor of going monster hunting with Soos (another prominent character in the show that is practically Stan's honorary son). However, later in the episode, they feel bad about leaving their Grunkle Stan all alone (because despite his criminal behaviors (he's seen in a flashback teaching the children how to counterfeit money), he genuinely wanted to spend time with them in a legitimately good and caring way. They return to their grunkle, and despite having felt rejected and abandoned, Stan welcomes them back. They all have a good time.

As a side note, this episode is good on a first watch but even BETTER on subsequent rewatches after watching the whole show. Stan's moments seem all the more sad and painful, and the ending of the episode seems all the more joyful and triumphant. Anyway, the children learn a little more about self-sacrifice, and Stan is shown to be forgiving.

The self-sacrifice theme is continued in many other episodes, too. In The Inconveniencing, Dipper risks his "cool" reputation with his new teenaged friends by performing the Lamby-Lamby Dance (which involves being dressed as a lamb - which could be Alex in a way referencing his Jewish roots here - a literal sacrificial lamb - but also Jesus himself is referred to as the lamb of God) to get their ghost tormenters to spare everyone. In the Time Traveler's Pig, Dipper eventually learns he needs to let go of his crush, Wendy (sacrificing his own wants) in order for his twin sister Mabel to be happy with her pet pig, Waddles. In Little Dipper, Dipper eventually decides to let Mabel remain taller especially on learning that she feels like he's better than her at everything. In The Deep End, Dipper sacrifices his job (and therefore his chance to spend more time with his impossible crush, Wendy) in order to help Mabel save Mermando (a Merman).

In Land Before Swine, Stan eventually comes to the conclusion that he needs to self-sacrifice after causing a rift between himself and his great niece, Mabel, with his selfish and lying behaviors. And he does by risking getting eaten by a dinosaur in order to save Waddles. Mabel, then, forgives him. Interestingly, this episode also includes an abandoned and dilapidated church and the aforementioned Christian character, Fiddleford McGucket (more on him later), who interrupts the other characters who started arguing when their lantern broke (he fixed the lantern - and I find that to be interesting symbolism - Christians are called to be a light before others- Matthew 5:14-16). He also tries to help later but ends up failing in that endeavor (which is okay because Stan needed to have his big moment). In Sock Opera, despite having worked very hard on her sock puppet show (which also involved a musical number and was very cool), Mabel risks the destruction (and it does get very destroyed) of her show in order to save Journal 3 which is very important to Dipper. The main villain of the show even asks, "Who would sacrifice everything they have worked for for their dumb sibling?" And Mabel, acknowledging how much her brother has done for her, responds, "Dipper would" before following his example.

In Society of the Blind Eye, Fiddleford readily takes a shot from a memory-erasing gun to save the kids from being shot with it (though, he also readily acknowledges that this won't hurt him due to how "broken" his mind already is). In Northwest Mansion Mystery, Pacifica (another side character - known for being rich, snobby, and selfish) risks the wrath of her parents and possible danger and apologizes to a ghost her family wronged in life. She also repents allowing townsfolk (considered rabble by her parents) to attend a fancy party that the ghost and his folk were promised many years ago. The ghost is accepting and forgiving - it's even later stated in additional media after the show that the ghost and others like him still watch over her.

And now, we get to Not What He Seems. One of the most iconic moments in the show is when the portal is revved up, the shut-down button is within reach, and Mabel is forced to make a choice. Her and her twin brother have discovered that their great uncle has been lying to them all summer and not just the relatively harmless, goofy con-man lies he's known for - no. He has multiple forged IDs in his possession, there is an old newspaper he owns that says Stan Pines is Dead, he's been engaging in very suspicious behavior, two government agents have told the children that they suspect Stan is building a doomsday device.

Grunkle Stan pleads with her not to shut the portal (this suspected doomsday device) down. Dipper, full of worry and fear, tells Mabel to use her head. And Mabel, full of tears, replies to Stan that she's not even sure if he is her grunkle which causes all parties present to pause their fighting at seeing the usually happy-go-lucky girl in tears. Stan tells her that everything he's done and worked for has been for his family and to look into his eyes and "Is he really a bad guy?" Mabel takes a moment before surrendering completely, letting go of the bar that hosts the big red shut-down button and ascending into the air due to a gravitational anomaly.

"Grunkle Stan," she says, "I trust you." Trust is another theme in Gravity Falls, but I think Mabel is saying a lot more than just "I trust you" here when she says that. She is also saying, "I love you, and even though you've lied to us all summer, I forgive you."

Although, Stan has certainly proven that he cares (he fought a pterodactyl for Mabel's pig, he protected Dipper and Mabel from zombies, etc), it can't really be said in that moment that Stan had earned any trust or forgiveness after everything they'd seen. And yet, Mabel gives it freely, anyway. In that moment, Mabel is displaying Christ-like behavior. It's also appropriate symbolism that she is shown to surrender and ascend in this moment.

I'm going to skip a Tale of Two Stans for a moment, but come back to it because I also think it's important.

More self-sacrificing happens when in the Stanchurian Candidate, Stan gives up the possibility of his getting elected in order to save his family (this actually helps him get elected but hilariously, he's later disqualified due to his many crimes).

At the end of Weirdmageddon, Stan ultimately sacrifices himself (he has his entire identity erased) in order to save his family (and the whole town). Although, he does not technically "die" - he has, in a sense, given up his entire life. John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this: that he would lay down his life for the sake of his friends. Fortunately, this show has a happy ending, Stan gets his memories back. Although, there is no mention of Christ, it does feel like a metaphor for what happens when someone hears and accepts the Gospel - the Good News - that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, was raised again after three days, and if we ask him for forgiveness and trust in Him to save us, we will be saved.

Basically, what happens is you die (to sin), you lose your "sin" identity. Then, you are "born again" - in a sense, you gain a new identity in Christ - one of righteousness. Stan does this by gaining a new identity - one of a hero instead of a crook. This is what Jesus does for us - He saves us and gives us a new identity. Even if we aren't engaging in criminal behavior, we all have something we need to be forgiven for. None of us are perfect. We've all lied, we've hurt people's feelings, by inaction - we have contributed to bad things in the world... Some of us may have even smuggled Pugs.

Since this is getting very long, I'll save the rest for a part two.

[poughkeepsies]

Welcome back. This time it's even more delusional.

Featuring additions from beloved contributors and some Olympic-level reaches for episodes 15-18. But if this is the Olympics then god help me I will step onto that podium as the most insane clown in this depraved, abandoned circus.

Okay, first, from @captainragtag, a truly galaxy-brain interpretation of Buck's storyline in 612. I'll let them explain:

Second, @wewatchweewoo made the brilliant observation about 614 and Buck saying "nobody likes a cheater." That's such a rich line coming from Buck that clearly, there must be a reason he's feeling some type of way about it at that point specifically, and literally what else could be the cause of that other than the fact that Eddie is dating and he and Buck have an arrangement (currently operating on the fwb wavelength with knowledge of future episodes) and Buck is being pissy but he can't be more direct about it, so he has to vague Eddie in a way that no one else would suspect.

And the third and final brilliant addition is from @buck-coded. Again, I'll let them explain:

Moving on to 615, we are operating under the assumption that the secret relationship throughout s6 has been a poorly communicated friends-with-benefits arrangement. This is piggybacking off of the previous ideas about 614 but I'd like to add some further analysis about why, then, Eddie would be so quick to accept Pepa's interference.

They've been fwb for a long time at that point and while they have clearly both been very enthusiastic about the arrangement, it hasn't evolved or shown any sign of potentially becoming something more in the future (they are both cowards, please understand.) So while Eddie is very happy to keep being fwb with Buck, he is also feeling like his time is running out, because he can have only a part of him but never the full thing and Buck will eventually find someone to move on with. So, despite the arrangement, he does feel lonely and he thinks he should at least try to move on. Seeing this, Buck himself comes to the conclusion that his time with Eddie is running out and jumps back into the dating game (they always start dating at the same time do you think this is a coincidence???).

The 615 graveyard scene is where everything changes. Because Eddie had taken the first step, but he wasn't being that serious about it. He was just doing it as a precaution but that didn't mean he wanted to stop what he had with Buck if he didn't have to. But Buck had already taken Eddie's decision to start dating again as a complete rejection and thrown himself into dating head first, meeting Natalia and telling Eddie she sees him. And I am so sorry to do this to you in the middle of the delusional secret relationship buddie post but...we have entered the pining era. In my humble but true opinion, it is at this point that they kind of just both unspokenly agree to stop being fwb. Eddie's pining can be seen from space throughout the graveyard scene and 616 as he so yearningly examines Chimney's engagement ring then proceeds to shamelessly stare at Buck throughout the rest of the scene. It may not be directly relevant to the secret relationship aspect of the theory, but a loud moment to consider is the camera pan to Buck and Eddie sitting basically in each other's laps as Bobby talks about madney belonging together.

617 is essentially more of the same with them both trying to move on and being pathetic about it, but an interesting connection to consider is the absence is a presence aspect of the final date between Buck and Natalia. Buck cooking at home is something that has been solely associated with the Diazes throughout s6 and we see him trying to cook for Natalia in 617. However, she freaks out when Kameron, a clear symbol of Buck's relationship with fatherhood, shows up and leaves before eating any of the food he made for her. It's Kameron who ends up eating the food he made instead. Considering it's clear that Kameron and her child are no actual threat to Natalia, it's their roles as Buck's potential child and his other parental figure that are the threat, which can easily be substituted by Christopher and Eddie. Natalia came back because she realized she overreacted about Kameron and the baby, but how will she react when she realizes that those roles still exist in Buck's life, she was just looking at the wrong people?

618 leaves them in the same place but, as I've mentioned before in other posts, it is very telling that Eddie and Christopher end the season on the couch just as Buck decides to go looking for one.

Basically, season 6 does end with them broken up but there is all the evidence to reasonably assume Buck and Eddie have fucked before and shall, on some bright sunny day, fuck again.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

(ALT theory: they don't stop fucking, they just get Natalia and Marisol to agree to regular foursomes.)

Buddie Secret Relationship Conspiracy Manifesto

Hello. Welcome to possibly the most delusional buddie theory yet. This is a collaboration with @swiftiebuckleys, and as such I would like to cite our sources accordingly: dude, trust us.

Okay so I know a lot of people have talked about the theory of buddie possibly being in a secret relationship that is even a secret from the audience during season 6. For me, this started during 6A. It started because I was thinking about how 601 started with such a poignant and domestic Buckley-Diaz family scene that, as a part of a premier that was meant to establish where the characters are after four months of hiatus, told us Buck, Eddie and Christopher are living in each other's pockets as their own little family at the start of the season (I even wrote about this in this meta I posted while 6a was airing lmao).

But then for the rest of 6A there really wasn't any significant on-screen buddie or Buckley-Diaz moments, even though there was plenty that was implied at, including: Buck and Eddie planning to go to Marisol's house to help with repairs without the rest of the firefam, Buck and Chris hanging out so Chris potentially telling Buck the secret about skipping school even though he didn't tell Eddie, Buck and Eddie sitting in the back of the waiting room together separate from the rest of the firefam while they waited for news about Karen, and Eddie giving Hoover to Buck and convincing him to keep him even though his building doesn't allow dogs. What do all but one of these moments have in common? They're moments where Buck and Eddie were either alone or away from anyone who would know them from the rest of the gang and wouldn't feel the need to hide their relationship. When at work, Buck and Eddie had a reasonably normal amount of on-screen interactions, but it was only their moments happening outside of work that was pushed to the off-screen. (Bonus: one on-screen 6A moment that lives in my head rent-free and screams of secret relationship is that shot of them stepping into frame together and holding eye contact while the song lyrics in the bg go "I want your sex and your affection when I'm holding you close" in 609.)

However, while this^ is all well and good, it's 6B that really gives the secret relationship theory its wings.

Episode 10 gave us the lightning strike with a sequence that was shot almost entirely from the perspective of Eddie. While in the initial aftermath of the strike we see the shock on Hen, Chimney, and Bobby's faces, the scene is in slow-motion and muted until Eddie realizes what's going on and we watch every minute facial expression on his face as the horror dawns and he snaps into action. Eddie's reaction is what sparks everyone else's movement and then we see him completely forgo his own injuries and his own safety to save Buck. In the secret relationship trope, the near-death experience is a lot of the time what forces the couple to blow their cover and reveal their relationship. That didn't happen here as buddie were already close enough to warrant the strength of Eddie's reaction and Buck was unresponsive and there wasn't any time to lose. HOWEVER, episode 11 and the absence of a scene with Eddie alone at Buck's bedside can be explained by the fact that he couldn't be shone there or his bedside confessions would have given them away to the audience. As it is, other than Margaret and Maddie, Buck's mother and sister, he's the only one dressed in all black, his composure crumbling and unable to make eye contact with Buck's body in the hospital bed, the perfect picture of a grieving widow.

Episode 12 has the infamous couch scene which is meant to signal to the audience that Eddie is the couch Buck has been searching for, even if Buck himself doesn't know it. However, in the context of the secret relationship theory, what if the total lack of reaction from Eddie about Buck falling asleep on his couch is because they already know this?

Episode 13 has the infamous poker scene and this is where the theory actually diverges for a lot of people. Going with the original theory that buddie have been together since before 6A, this would explain Buck's lack of reaction to Eddie telling him to get dressed up and taking him out on what is essentially a date - he wasn't surprised or suspicious because it wasn't unusual. If you go back and watch the scene, you'll notice that it opens right when Buck and Eddie are approaching the door and about to be in the presence of other firefighters, but initially they're walking away from a dark alley while fixing their clothes - why would they need to fix their clothes unless they got messed up in the first place? Why wouldn't they show us the before or after of the poker scene, why only the parts where they're in the presence of other people from the department? Plus, Eddie really was looking TOO blatantly hungry in that entire scene, and he wasn't really hiding it from Buck - maybe because he's allowed, and expected, to look. This isn't even to mention the scenes of Buck, Eddie, and Christopher being a family, but I will go back to those later.

Where this episode splits this theory is the alternate potential for them to have gotten together after the poker game (my initial post after the episode first came out.) This would have been the perfect opportunity because there's really no way that if they weren't already together, the thought that this might be a date hadn't crossed Buck's mind (and, again, Eddie really did look too fucking horny in that scene it wasn't something you could ignore.) The next outside of work scene we see the Buckley-Diaz' in is the baking scene with Buck and Christopher. Eddie's location is completely unknown - he could be on shift, he could be running errands, he could be with Pepa - but the fact that Buck and Chris are together and baking for his class and planning dinner really drives home the fact that they are a family once again. However, the easy confidence of Buck parenting Christopher and the way he glowed with happiness in that moment would make even more sense if he had had his place in the Diaz family as Eddie's partner and Christopher's other parent confirmed to him.

One way to possibly combine the two theories is if we assume that Buck and Eddie were actually fwb throughout 6A (an idea given to me by @captainragtag) but actually got together after the poker scene. ANOTHER way is if we assume they've only been fwb, even after the poker scene. Them being fwb would potentially explain some holes in the theory, moments where they should have had a bigger reaction to something or known something beforehand if they were in a relationship (kind of the sperm donor arc and Eddie's reaction, but that could also be explained by Eddie's lack of reaction being because he already knew and was just pretending to be finding out for the first time with everyone else.)

Going into episode 14, all of these theories could explain the *gestures vaguely* everything about Eddie's storyline in the episode. If they're hiding a relationship, the absence of any mentions of Buck when talking about Eddie (and Christopher) being alone would make sense, especially after how pointedly the previous episode showed that Eddie is always spending his free time with Buck, with or without Christopher. It would also explain Buck's extremely unsubtle date-ruining advice - either they're together and Buck just doesn't want Eddie to go on the date because he doesn't want to share even to keep up pretenses, or they're fwb and Buck is jealous and afraid to lose Eddie and their relationship if Eddie starts actually dating. Also, considering how many pure fanfic tropes the writers have used before, it's safe to assume they have at least a baseline knowledge of how buddie are written by fans and what's the first trope every fanfic reader in this fandom learns about? Christopher's first and foremost wingman duty is to pack his stuff and go to a sleepover so his dads can do unholy things to each other. Christopher being at a sleepover when Pepa told Eddie to come over and him insisting that he was alone at home when just last episode we saw buddie spending all their time off shift together is just a little too sus if you ask me. Another secret relationship moment in the episode is Eddie going for the wrong gear shift in his own car. He initially reached for the gear shift on the center console when that's not where it is in his truck. But do you know where the gear shift is in a jeep? I'll give you one guess. Do we know anyone who owns a jeep? I'll give you another guess. This would make total sense since we know Eddie is a passenger princess and Buck would be driving them everywhere if they were in a relationship. Even when Buck isn't the one driving, Eddie would be much more likely to borrow his car more often if they were in a relationship and basically living together.

If this all doesn't convince you, I would like to leave you with the reminder of a moment that I'm sure has haunted all of us since 614 came out:

Actors are always aware when they're on camera and even if they aren't, the dozens of production people, including the director, would be. Do with that what you will.

(If anyone has anything they'd like to add to this feel free to message me or send me an ask and I'll make edits! And, I mean, this is all just for fun not to be taken seriously, but if there is a point that you think really brings the theory down also feel free to send me an ask about that lets see if I can provide a suitable explanation.)

edit: another thing to keep in mind as pointed out by the brilliant @swiftiebuckleys is the precedent set by 606 "Tomorrow" for flashbacks showing the start of a relationship.

[ghost-chance]

Excerpt from "The Demon King and the Half-Breed Hermit"

Gotta log off for a while after this but first, I wanted to share this (unedited and incomplete) scene. It's for an upcoming (in-the-works) chapter of my Piccolo/OC-centric ▶Dragon Ball post-GT◀ fic, found on my FFnet account. Why am I sharing it? Firstly, it's proof I'm still writing (...trying...) and despite the long wait for new chapters, DK&HBH has NOT been abandoned. (NOTHING has been abandoned!) Secondly, THIS is what happens when I tell myself "I need to start writing characters who can effectively communicate and deal with their emotions like functional adults!" 😑 Yes...AUBERGINE happens.

Hopefully the "Queen of Issues" can make someone smile.

🌲🌳🌲🌳🌲🌳🌲🌳🌲🌳🌲🌳🌲🌳🌲🌳🌲🌳🌲🌳🌲

Life as a single mother was generally a struggle; as a single mother of two half-Saiyan boys, life was a never-ending catastrophe. Fortunately for Son Chi-Chi, both her boys were grown men capable of running their own lives; unfortunately, that left her to manage her household alone. Oh, sure, Gohan and Videl regularly offered to move her into their home and take care of her, but she wasn't quite ready to accept that offer. She was quite capable of taking care of herself…at least, that is, when she wasn't weighed down with groceries and being chased down by a saber-toothed wildcat.

Winded, she stumbled and landed hard on her knees, her bags falling and the contents scattering. One moment she could practically feel the beast's rancid breath on her neck; the next a warning shout split the air, quickly followed by a pained yelp. Chi-Chi scrambled onto her back and stilled at the familiar silhouette cast by the afternoon sun through the trees. Black hair as ragged as ever and eyes dark as pitch, Aubergine held the struggling wildcat by the throat, leaching away its strength. She drained it a little longer before letting it slink away in shame, then looked to her fallen sister-in-law over her shoulder. "Are you hurt?"

"No," Chi-Chi answered as she gathered the spilled goods, then belatedly added "thank you." Aubrey shrugged and hoisted the bags onto her shoulder as the black faded from her eyes.

"Well, someone's got to shield the squishies," she replied instead. The familiar retort used to irritate Chi-Chi, but now she recognized it for what it was: you're welcome. I don't mind. Aubergine's long silences, half-answers, and silence took a while to adjust to but by now it was like a second language to her sister in-law. 

The remainder of the journey to Chi-Chi's home passed in a silence midway between comfortable and awkward, and before she knew it, the matron was stowing away her groceries. Aubergine sat at the table, brooding and fiddling with a small shaker jar from the revolving rack in the middle. Recognizing the speckled contents, she pried the lid open, sniffed at the contents, and sneezed; her eyes and sinuses burned in protest as she jammed it closed and shoved it back on the rack. Yes, she identified it correctly. "So how's Piccolo settling in?" At the resulting silence, she turned to find Aubergine scowling like someone who just chewed five lemons in a row without stopping to sweeten them. "That well, huh?" Chi-Chi teased. I

Aubergine shot her a deadpan glower then exchanged the speckled powder for a jar full of tiny seeds. As if it explained everything, she grunted, "he's not dead yet." These seeds didn't burn her nose but they had a rather unpleasant smell somewhat like rank body odor. Nose scrunching at the stink, Aubrey exchanged the jar for a tall shaker full of tiny white crystals with a much sweeter scent. Over by the table, Chi-Chi gave a knowing smile as the half-breed examined her spices. "I don't understand how one person can require so many of these things," Aubergine muttered surveying the multitude of tiny jars and shakers on the Lazy-Susan. "What's the point of all this crap?" 

"Spices?" Chi-Chi asked, and upon receiving a blank look added, "they make food taste good. As for the number, different dishes require different spices—you can't cook everything with the same ingredients." Aubrey stilled, eyes wide and locked on the three jars she investigated before. "What brought you here anyway?" If Chi-Chi didn't know any better, she'd say the half-breed was embarrassed.

"He quit complaining," Aubrey mumbled. "He used to whine that I was poisoning him; now he doesn't say anything…but…he doesn't have to. I thought…" She fell silent, cleared her throat, then collected the other two bottles and shoved the lot toward Chi-Chi. "Fish. It was worse than usual."

Chi-Chi was used to getting only half the picture from her half-Saiyan sister-in-law but this was even less information than usual. Those three spices were never used in the same dish; then again, this was Aubergine, and Aubergine was quite possibly the worst cook in the realms. "Correct me if I'm wrong," Chi-Chi asked, "but are you saying you cooked fish…with black pepper, cumin, and sugar…?" The half-breed glanced at the jars, read the fading labels, and gave a wary nod; Chi-Chi felt her breakfast threaten reappearance. "No wonder, then," she sighed. "Cumin and pepper can be used on fish but generally not together, and you don't use sugar on seafood."

"This is so stupid." …and so began Aubrey's usual response to statements regarding food as anything beyond life-preserving sustenance. After so many years of hearing the same thing over and over again, Chi-Chi easily tuned out the increasingly loud rant and gathered a few more appropriate seasonings for fish. "Food doesn't have to taste good!" Aubergine spat without regard. "Its only purpose is to keep you from dying of hunger, anything beyond that is friv—" Finally, she went silent. Of course, taking Chi-Chi's frying pan to the skull would shut anyone up.

"There's more to life than just existing," Chi-Chi scolded as Aubergine rubbed the already swelling lump on her skull and growled under her breath. "There's more to life than just survival. We were put on this Earth to thrive, not just not die."

"We were put on this Earth because my dumbass brother didn't have the balls to kill that midget Pilaf from the start." This time she ducked the frying pan. 

"You're missing the point as always," Chi-Chi huffed. "I swear, you're so much like my Goku. Aubergine, when your life's over, you'll have an eternity to look back on what you did. If all you have to look back on is not dying, then what's the point?" Aubergine went silent, glaring at the wall beside her as if blaming it for everything that ever went wrong in her life. It didn't escape Chi-Chi that said wall stood between her kitchen and the home Goku and Aubergine grew up in. Not for the first time, she wondered what the half-breed's life was like in those early years, and what molded her into the distant, bristly woman she was now.

"Life was always enough before." The admission was quiet—half-muffled in Aubrey's mostly flat chest and aimed into the polished tabletop—but to the human matron it had the same impact as a battle cry. "Stay out of danger," the half-saiyan muttered as though reciting some sort of task list. "Find and maintain shelter, locate reliable sustenance, protect your brother…" ..wait for me to come find you. I promise, I'll come find you! Bardock may have been a visionary, but an honest Saiyan, he was not. He never came for them… "That used to be enough…" …until said brother ran off with a blue-haired teenager in search of adventure and left Aubergine behind. Sure, she caught up after a while and tagged along for a few misadventures—living alone in the wilds got boring, after all—but at the end of the day, she couldn't even accomplish the most important of these tasks. She couldn't protect Goku. One hand strayed up to brush her bangs out of her dead eye. She couldn't even protect herself. "Why isn't that enough anymore?"

"Perhaps it never really was enough." Chi-Chi's smile held no judgment and her voice no censure. "Perhaps you're only just realizing it now." Perhaps…Aubergine turned to the window, eyes trained on the distant misty peak of Mt. Paozu. After so many years of feeling stuck in place, maybe it was time to change. "I've offered before and the offer stands—I'll teach you to cook if you'll let me." For the first time, the offer was answered with a long silence instead of some bitter retort or evasive remark, proof in Chi-Chi's mind that the other was finally considering it.

"A year ago none of this would've…" Aubergine fell silent; again, she was driven to brush her bangs away from her blind eye though they weren't impairing her sight. That nervous tic would be the death of her someday… She cleared her throat and tried again. "Nothing mattered a year ago. It still shouldn't matter." Chi-Chi faltered. She recognized where this topic was leading as easily as she knew how Aubergine must have reacted to Piccolo's resurrection. She smoothed the skirt of her long dress and seated herself at the table. The rest of the groceries could wait a bit longer.

"The first time I lost Goku…" I lost Goku. Even after so many times of saying those words, her throat still caught around them; even after how many times Goku died, the very mention still triggered an echo of the day Krillin brought her the news. Her son, missing – her husband, dead – worst of all, the threat wasn't even over. "Well, I was a mess," Chi-Chi finished mildly. The past was in the past—let it lie there in peace. "Every time I lost him, I felt sure it was my fault for not being strong enough to keep him. Every time he came back, I tried harder than before to make him stay…and every time, I lost him again anyway…the last time, for good. He refused to be revived." Even now, the words made her eyes burn and her throat clench, so it was a comfort when Aubergine broke the tense silence.

"He was an idiot like that." The dry remark earned a weak chuckle.

"Indeed. Even now, were he to walk through that door, I'd still take him back. He left us all behind when he refused resurrection, but I'd still welcome him home with open arms." She hummed softly, leaning on her elbows and looking out the nearest window. Already the blue of the sky was deepening and the days, shortening—harvest time might come early this year. "For all his faults, and there were many, Goku was always so much stronger than I ever could be. I could never leave behind those I love, even to keep them safe…he did so without a second thought."

"But when the danger's gone, how does staying dead solve anything?" Aubergine cut in—an unusually long sentence from an unusually brief speaker. "The people he left behind—they still needed him—they depended on him, and he turned his back on them!" Chi-Chi hazarded a glance at her company; Aubergine was off in another world, her vision trained somewhere far beyond the woodgrain of the tabletop. "Didn't he know? Didn't it matter?" Chi-Chi's wrinkle-framed lips tilted into a sly smile.

"He knew there were such people, I'm sure," she answered. "I have a feeling he didn't quite understand what it would put you through." Aubergine gave a faint nod, eyes distant, then startled as she realized the subject change. Both women knew they were no longer talking about Goku; neither was ready to admit it, either. The half-Saiyan's cheeks darkened in embarrassment, but the effect was lessened by the venomous glare aimed out the window. "You never told him, did you?" Chi-Chi pressed.

"Why bother?" Aubergine muttered. "He knew what he was doing. He had to know I'd—" She fell short, remembering vividly the searing pain in her chest from the day the earth was destroyed—the fracturing of a heart timed to the shattering of a planet. From the first wince to the last breath, she felt Piccolo die, and it was a feeling she'd never forget…or forgive. "...I never should have marked the bastard."

Once again, Chi-Chi was given only bits and pieces, but this time she was content with it. If the scars on Aubergine's throat were any indication, the whole picture wasn't one she cared to see.