#I'd 100% read it
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@rowanthestrange ooh, yes please.
anyway tonight in fucked up doctor/yaz thoughts (because there is no way i can spin this story that they won find a way to make it a little fucked up) (perhaps bc thats the nature of stories who knows):
what if 14 decides to transition bc of like,,,the doctors feelings for humans are more idolisation than anything else + regret over missed time and chances with yaz + desire to distance themself from their 10 self
#The Doctor Who audience on AO3 may be one of the few places you can publish a messy transfem!14 fic#I go on there to read all the genderqueer 14 fic from all the other genderqueer/trans/nonbinary authors#(pretty much who's been writing the other trans!14 fic)#and you're one of the authors who I'd trust to do it well#your Doctor/Jack fic with no pronouns certainly serves well towards your credentials#(excellent fic btw! I've read it twice & have been meaning to comment it feels very organic)#so if you decide to go for it#I'd 100% read it#(I've absolutely been in the ''do I want to BE them or do I want to FUCK them?'' conundrum with gender before)#doctor who#reblog
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A little love letter to Din Djarin writers... 🤍
I love that some of you write him as soft and gentle while others focus on the darker, harsher parts of his personality. I love that he can be both a quiet, kind man caring for his child or an intimidating, terrifying bounty hunter who is a lean, mean killing machine... depending on what the fic warrants.
I love how you write him with other characters from The Mandalorian or even with those who would never cross paths with him in canon, from Star Wars or elsewhere. I love how you write him interacting with yourselves and us, and some of you even create your own original characters to exist a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away alongside him.
I love that some of you ship him with that one other special person, while others recognise how desirable he is and ship alllllll the ships. Not forgetting those of you which are here for none of those ships and/or even headcanon him as ace. I love that any of those options allow you to explore your own identities and sexualities through him.
I love that you can write the most tooth-rotting fluff or filthiest smut, and all of those things in between. Whether it's for general audiences or explicit and strictly 18+ ... all of your fics have an audience and someone out there who appreciates your writing.
I love how differently you can interpret him, but there are also so many common themes and tropes running through your writing. I love that there is room for all of your Dins here.
I love that he means so much to you and that all of us here hold him in our hearts a little bit. I love that we can all watch the same episodes and come to entirely different conclusions about him. I love how much we love him.
Getting to be a part of this wonderful community and interact with so many people who love the space tin can man as much as I do has truly been one of the best things that happened to me recently. I'm so glad I made this little blog... It reminded me just how good fandom can be. I am blown away by the number of talented people here!
So, I just wanted to take a moment to express some gratitude towards all of you! Thank you for writing your Dins and please don't ever stop. Finally.... last, but not least:
I love Din Djarin!!!
#din djarin#the mandalorian#din djarin fanfic#din djarin fanfiction#din djarin x reader#the mandalorian fanfiction#i got a uhhhh not nice anon a couple of days ago lol and i'm not posting it here (truly speaking to the wall) but i didn't want to dwell on#that and instead spread some love around!!! because anyone who is brave enough to put their writing out there is amazing to me#and especially a character as well known and beloved as din... that's far more impressive than sending anon bs lol#anyway i truly mean it i don't read as much as i'd like to because my brain can't take it when i'm focused on my own stuff sometimes but#you all ROCK and i don't want anyone to ever feel like they don't or their din is 'wrong' or OOC bc truly only favreau writes him#100% in character bc he made him lmao. all fanfic is by definition ooc BUT THATS another rant for another time
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—^—^—^—^—^—^—^—^—^—^—^—^—^—^—^—
Chubby!Togame Jo x GN!Reader
Type: Headcanons
—v—v—v—v—v—v—v—v—v—v—v—v—v—v—v—
Chubby!Togame who enjoys wearing monk clothes or sweats because they're big and hide his belly well
Chubby!Togame whose cheeks you can squish (and he lets you squish them cuz he loves feeling your touch)
Chubby!Togame who is canonically undefeated in eating challenges (and apparently he enjoys participating in those)
Chubby!Togame who loves the food you get him, especially because it's you who got it for him
Chubby!Togame who will finish the food you can't eat
Chubby!Togame who will eat the things you don't like
Chubby!Togame who gives you the best hugs. He will engulf you entirely in his embrace
Chubby!Togame who is so nice to cuddle with
Chubby!Togame who enjoys taking naps with you lying on him
Chubby!Togame who is still strong and will casually carry you (regardless of what size you are) because you weight nothing to him
Chubby!Togame who in fights is especially sturdy due to him being bigger
Chubby!Togame who tackles his opponents because he knows his mass will take them down
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Feel free to add your own headcanons!
#I hate how much all the canon stuff makes sense for a chubby Togame but THEY STILL ONLY MADE HIM BUFF#like seriously#did you guys know that weightlifters also have some chub? so yeah#chubby togame makes 100% sense#I'd love to read your thoughts on that!#wind breaker#togame headcanon#wind breaker togame#togame jo#togame x reader#togame jo wind breaker#wind breaker togame jo#headcanons#togame jo x reader
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i'm so relieved that people like my retrobat stuff bc i can tell tumblr definitely prefers two very specific batmans: Tortured Diesel DILF and Edward Cullen But Cooler. meanwhile i'm out here like
#i mean i COULD wax poetic about how serious/grounded stories don't necessarily have to humorless and grimdark#i think someone who is 100% brooding all the time is just as cartoonish and wacky as someone who is always 100% silly#if anything it comes off as insecure. like omg look how serious i am guys!! i made batman unfunny and cruel and abusive!!#i think there's a lot to chew on with a guy who is miserable and traumatized but still at the end of the day a paragon and optimist#if he wasn't ultimately optimistic and big-hearted he wouldn't be doing literally any of this shit lbr he'd just shoot guys and go home#like look man if you wanna write the next great gutwrenching american novel maybe don't pick a single dad in a fursuit as your protag sorry#IF I WANTED SERIOUS NAVELGAZING I'D READ HEMINGWAY. WHICH I ENJOY AS WELL#shebbz shoutz#batman#dc
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Aetna's a lil freak 👀
#i laugh so hard at this bc i'd 100% expect it from ares but not aetna 😭#lili reads#lore olympus#lore olympus webtoon#lo#lo webtoon#lo hades#lo persephone#lo aetna#lo kore#hades#kore#persephone#aetna#lore olympus hades#lore olympus persephone#lore olympus kore#lore olympus aetna#persephone x hades#hades x persephone#hades x kore#kore x hades#lore olympus memes#lo memes
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I need to make a point of saying that contrary to popular belief, I do not read. I do not enjoy reading, I hate being asked to read things, reading is exhausting and a chore. I like to write just for the sake of writing. The act of writing itself gives me so much gratification just to be able to do it!
But if I saw this bitch in the wild at 300k+ words I would never fucking touch it LMAOO doesn't matter HOW good it is man that's way too fucking long
what the fuck was I THINKING LMAO THIS SHIT IS INSANE I WOULD NEVER READ THIS
Not saying I think MM is bad or not worth the read. I certainly think it is! But for like, you know, people who like to read. Not me LOL glad some of y'all literally will sit and re-read this shit regularly though. Y'all juggernauts for that
It's not even like I write topics that I don't enjoy. I certainly enjoy them, otherwise I wouldn't be writing them. But I like writing them, not reading them. But that's not exclusive to topics, I just don't read anything in general
#how the fuck do y'all sit still that long#I get so exhausted sitting and reading#This is why I don't even reread my own work man#do I risk grammar errors and flow issues? absolutely#but would I rather drink bleach than go back and edit my work? 100%#listen I'll write until I die#I'd love to know if there's anybody else out there that's like me#hates to read loves to write#where my chronic writers at#chronic writer needs to be paired with chronic reader I swear to god I'll constantly feed them for a crumb of affection#just don't ask me to read shit#I need a fucking editor bad lol#my hobbies? writing and drawing#that's kind of it really I don't do anything else
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"Battles are ugly when women fight" =/= "women shouldn't fight ever." Jack never said that. In Narnia, women demonstrably do fight in battles. Case in point: Lucy in HHB, Jill in LB.
You can judge the moral value of any society based on how it treats its most vulnerable members: women, children, minorities. Women are inherently vulnerable in wartime. Any battle in which women must fight is de facto extremely ugly, and it reflects very poorly on the society that placed them in that position.
That said, "Women feel that they must fight in the battle because the situation is so desperate/the culture fails to recognize their vulnerability/the culture actively exploits them" is entirely different than "adult women choose to fight as a matter of calling and do so in culturally appropriate ways." There's a very good reason why most modern democratic nations allow women to enlist, but don't include women in their drafts.
Father Christmas says "battles are ugly when women fight" specifically to clarify that Susan and Lucy don't have to go into battle against the Witch even though he's arming them. He's saying, "That's not your job; Narnia won't put its women in positions where they must fight." This is not a remotely misogynist statement; it's saying that a noble society has a responsibility to care for women during wartime. Which. Yes.
#i am almost positive that I've seen this sentiment expressed around these parts before in similar terms#but i figured I'd take a crack at articulating it anyway#Father Christmas was 100% right to discourage the girls from fighting ar Beruna#but it's also awesome that Lucy does go into battle later on#and I believe with every fiber of me heart that she was knighted at some point#these things! are not mutually exclusive!#reading fairy tales again#narnia#pontifications and creations#i enjoy being a girl
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hnk ch. 100 thoughts (spoilers)
Making a full-on separate post because I thought there was a lot to draw from in this recent chapter... I needed to document it, so here is my veryy long thought bubble on hnk 100:
The chapter felt like a depiction of Phos in transition to accepting themself and adapting to a new phase of peace that they hadn’t experienced before. While young Phos had a carefree life, they were perpetually stuck feeling useless, never satisfied with the way they lived, and gradually lost all their friends, selfhood, and purpose.
It’s a little difficult to emotionally match the pacing of the story considering how often the series goes on hiatus now, but note that Phos had only recently come to terms with their own flaws and the reasons why everything ended up the way it did. They had a wish to be happy, and meeting these lifeforms allowed them to realize the meaning of their existence and be more content with it.
That poetic verse was introspective and contemplative. Rather than placing worth based on certain levels, like the gems’ hardness levels or Lunarians’ caste system, these rudimentary rocks perceive that all life is made equal. For thousands of years, gems tied their own value to a designated role, and if they couldn’t fulfill it, they devalued their existence. We saw a lot of perspectives throughout Phos’ journey, including how Rutile “failed” as a doctor for being unable to fix Padapradscha on their own, or how Dia “failed'' to live up as a diamond with refined fighting skills compared to their rivaled counterpart. Again, these are just flawed traits passed down from their human predecessors and the curse of immortality.
The chapter ending conveyed a hopeful conception that all things, primitive or refined, come from the same place (nature). I struggled to connect the details mentioned in ch 97 before, but it gave us sooo much foreshadowing to this new world. Dr. Ayumu said that, “the inorganic things that we had been using for ourselves will soon have a world of their own'', alluding that these little guys that Phos met are the new world.
Interesting how Dr. Ayumu wanted Adamant to “build the bridge” and Phos to “burn the bridge” in order to create this “beautiful, rational world” to be a more freeing and less destructive place, and refresh the Earth to avoid relying on human values and qualities to stay self-fulfilled.
I was talking with @/mlkinis who brought up an interesting theory of using rocks in this new arc to symbolize the reversion of materialism. The rocks, elements derived from basic nature, have vastly different virtues compared to the gems, a class of refined minerals that developed a habitual routine of upkeep socially and culturally. While gems are also made from the Earth, they are perceived as high-value and are often polished to be artificially beautiful.
One Buddhist principle reflects on detaching oneself to worldly possessions and desires, such as wealth, in order to attain inner peace, and it seems that having these primitive rocks is a representation of Phos “letting go” of the gem society, which may be another way of showcasing that the world is returning back to life as the way it once was, and that Phos is on a path to attaining ultimate happiness. I’m wondering if Dr. Ayumu’s line, “When you cross that bridge, burn it” refers to Phos leaving their suffering behind as they’re going forth to being happy in this new world that is coming to be...
Anyway, upon reading the passage, along with meeting the sentient rocks and hearing its rock friend sing the verse, I felt like Phos reconciled with their own self and existence, and melted from feeling at peace 🥺😭!! Thank you, Ichikawa as always… This was a very cool and comforting chapter for me.
#hnk#hnk spoilers#hnk 100#houseki no kuni#very very introspective read between the lines kind of chapter#thank you for reading!!#the pacing of the story has been a little wacky considering how many hiatuses it's been going through#you often forget the context of previous chapters... it can get a little hard to piece together#i'd love to hear other peoples' thoughts too =)
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#discworld#Nightwatch#night watch#what a good fucking book#100% reccomend reading it but i'd say after reading from Guards! Guards! to Feet of Clay to get a good feel of Vimes before jumping in it
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wait okay so now that you're seriously thinking of publishing, will you be writing a new prequel to game theory with the new 'Canon'? like the story as it's meant to have happened between gwyn, augus, terho and the nightingale, or are we just starting from game theory?
ALSO I'm so glad that you might be publishing the ftv soon for wholly selfish reasons -- you're clearly done writing about these characters, but personally I am nowhere near done reading about them, and I'm definitely not creative enough to write fanfiction myself either, so I'm just stuck rotating the characters inside my head like a microwave😭😭 it's really tough out here!!!
imagine the massive wave of new readers and the new community that's gonna come in once the story's more accessible... IT'S SO EXCITING
Hi anon!
No prequel, I'll be starting with Game Theory (and Deeper into the Woods will be published afterwards as a prequel, just as it was chronologically in general!)
Quite a bit of Game Theory is being edited and new content being added (anyone on the Gary & Efnisien tier can already see about 2,000 words of new content in the first three chapters alone, including new scene/s with Crielle), and some content being removed where it's OOC. The events with Terho and the Nightingale will be explained in Game Theory, with Gwyn likely meeting with Terho (or learning about him) a few times within.
As for Fae Tales, you know, it's nice to think there will be some new readers, and there might be like a handful or two, but there will be no massive wave. It is the least popular thing I've written in proportion to the amount of time I've put into it. Even the AUs have all generally done better proportionately.
It's one of the reasons I've never rushed to publish, honestly. It's a lot of work to put into something that you know will never financially justify itself. To the point where I think other projects are far more viable financially (Underline the Rainbow as a series I actually think would be great, because new, meaty omegaverse has a very intense (though small) fanbase and I think that series would bring more people in).
There would be no massive wave of new readers. I think we'd be lucky to see at most about 10 or 20 new folks, and I'll cherish everyone, but I'm also pretty realistic. More people find all my other works these days than Fae Tales, The Ice Plague is still one of the worst performing things I've written in proportion to length + time + work investment (despite being one of my favourite series out of anything I've written).
I think I'm realistic, and I also think there's a chance that the Fae Tales Verse if published could draw some haters. Most people don't want that level of BDSM in their epic fantasy, unless it's much lighter 'romantasy,' which Fae Tales definitely isn't. There's even a chance I might get my KDP author account suspended because of breaching content TOS/violations.
So yeah, it's a risk, but I'll take it. It's just not a risk I'm prioritising right now, because I can't see a way that the Fae Tales Verse will ever really go that far. Hand on heart, way more people who come over from my fanfiction find Falling Falling Stars and Underline and almost no one (with maybe a few exceptions - I love y'all) goes into the canon these days unless they're older / long-time readers.
#asks and answers#fae tales verse#game theory#it's so generous of you to think there would be a massive wave anon#i genuinely can't see it being many people at all#i'd be truly shocked if more than 100 people bought that series as paperbacks or hardbacks#even of existing fans#i love that series with all my heart#and i know it has other folks who love it with all their heart#but those people can read it for free#and not everyone wants to have something like that on their bookshelves#i was going back through my bookmarks/kudos ratio#and realising that even after all this time#The Ice Plague hasn't had the pick up i hoped it would#and it still looks like#over 3/4 of Game Theory readers have never read through#to Augus' and Gwyn's happy ending in All That We Were#so uh#yeah#i don't find it depressing because i have other series i think would do better once published#it just means it's right at the bottom of my current priority list#until further notice
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Red Hood Characterization
This is really long so I'm putting a cut here, I've been thinking about Jason Todd's character motivations and the question of whether or not his actions are based in a Moral Code (I don't think so, not to say he's without any morality) and I talk about that in more depth here.
I saw someone say on here that Titans: Beast World: Gotham City was some of the best Jason Todd internal writing they'd seen in a while, and I've been a Red Hood fan for 8 years or so now? pretty much since I read comics for the first time, so I went and checked out and I thought it was good! The way the person I saw talking about it as if it was rare and unusual made me wonder though, because as well-written as i thought his stances on crime were, there wasn't really anything in it that went against the way I conceptualize Jason?
This kinda plays into a larger question I've been thinking about for a while with Jason though, which is that, do people think that the killing is part of a fundamental worldview that motivates him a la batman, and that worldview is the reason he does the things he does?? Because 8 years ago i was a middle schooler engaging with fiction on the level that a middle schooler does, so I simply did not put much thought into it beyond "poor guy :(" but ever since I actually started trying to understand consistent characterization, I don't really see Jason as someone who's motivated by a moral code in his actions the way batman or superman is!
tbh my personal read is that he's a very socially-motivated guy, his actions from resurrection to his Joker-Batman ultimatum in utrh always seemed to me like every choice made leading up to his identity reveal was either a. to give him the leverage and skill necessary to pull off his identity reveal successfully, or b. to twist the knife that little bit more when he does let Bruce find out who he is. Like iirc there's a Judd Winick tweet like "yeah tldr he chose Red Hood as his identity because it's the lowest blow he could think of." And I think that's awesome, I think character motivations rooted so deeply in character's relationships and emotions are really fun to read! I also think it's where the stagnation/flatness of his character comes from in certain comics, because if his main motivation is one event in one relationship that passes, and he is not particularly attached to anything in his life or the world by the time that comes to pass, it's a little harder to come up with a direction to go with the character after that, because there isn't much of a direction that aligns with something the character would reasonably want? But I do think solving this by saying "all of the morally-off emotionally driven cruelty he did on his way to spite Batman was actually reflective of his own version of Batman's stance that's exactly the same except he thinks it's GOOD to kill people" isn't ideal. To be fully honest, it seems to me like he never particularly cared one way or the other about killing people to "clean Gotham of crime," he just did everything he could to get the power necessary to pull off his personal plans, and took out any particularly heinous people he encountered along the way (like in Lost Days.) Not to say I think the fact he killed people keeps him up at night anymore than everything else in his life events, I just never really thought he was out there wholeheartedly kneecapping some dude selling weed or random guy robbing a tv store for justice.
Looping wayyy back to my question, Is this (^) contradictory to the way he's written/the overall average perception of the character? Because like I enjoyed his writing in Beast World i have zero significant issue with anything there, I just didn't believe it would be a hot take, like yeah, that is Jason. It's been a while since I've read utrh and lost days, but I don't think my takeaway directly contradicts either of those too bad iirc. Idk all this to say I think Jason killing and being alright with killing is an obvious and objective fact, but i guess i've always seen it as more of a practical tactic than a moral belief, and I think taking the actions made during the lowest points of a character's life where he is obsessively focused on this ONEEEE thing and trying to apply it as a Motivating Stance to everything he's done after that, doesn't really follow logically for me.
#edit: i am so so open to discussion and disagreement on this but please try to have something substantial to say. god bless!#like ofc jason kills but to me it was less “everyone I've ever killed deserves death objectively”#and more “when people are dead they stop doing things like heinous atrocities and trying to kill me"#i don't even think he wanted the joker dead (only) because he thinks he objectively morally deserves death#although the joker is one of the most extreme cases possible and he if does think that he's VERY justified#i really do think it was just about bruce#and wanting bruce to avenge him to show he loved him and he mattered and wanting his dad to give him security#all the killing was about the clown and everything with the clown was about bruce#i've NEVER forgotten the bit in lost days where he has the joker tied up at gunpoint and doesn't kill him#i think if it was only about a moral greater good situation he would have taken him out then and there#if you disagree i'd love to hear why provided you can be civil and not an jerk#also if you disagree PLEASE PLEASE put screenshots and comic issues if possible#i'd love to check them out and form my own stance on them#just know that if you say like. battle for the cowl. or the Tom King batman annual or something i probably won't care too much#comic characterization is ever-changing and inconsistent i truly believe that the best thing to do is just read the important stuff#and try to form your own stances from there#because there's never gonna be 100% of comics involving a character that align with each other perfectly and that's just a given#jason todd#red hood#dc comics
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Things that happened in Martyn & Cleo Double Life canon:
Cleo hoping to find her soulmate and start a life with them
Cleo dumping Martyn without giving him a chance to explain his side of the story, but hearing him out when he comes to her later
Martyn watching Cleo through his spyglass and telling the audience she seems safe and happy even though he thinks it's weird she's outside at night
Martyn, after he's had time to consider how he wants to play this, spinning a story about trying to be a provider for her and Cleo explaining that she wanted him, not things
Cleo not being remotely impressed by the "I was providing" sob story, lol
Martyn calling Cleo selfish for choosing to be with Scott because she's supposed to be HIS soulmate and he wants a partner
Cleo willing to forgive Martyn if he meets them halfway
Martyn refusing to meet them halfway because he doesn't think he did anything wrong
Martyn screaming about how Cleo's building bridges with Scott but "When will she think about mending our bridges???"
Martyn explaining to Cleo that he doesn't understand why his Session 1 actions bothered them
Martyn centering his character arc and roleplay on trying to win Cleo back without actually apologizing
Cleo giving Martyn a flower and stating that if he loses it, she'll be real cross with him
Cleo chasing Martyn out of her yard because he tried to put an HOA sign on her base and she wanted to make it clear that she wasn't associated with them and their hate for his base (even though she does think his heart base is strange)
Martyn attacking Cleo after she said attacking is a form of affection to her
Cleo setting boundaries with Martyn and explaining what he can do to get her back
Cleo sighing when Scar set her up on a date with Martyn, but taking the chance to talk to him instead of walking out
Cleo genuinely wanting Martyn in her alliance
Martyn and Cleo giggling constantly when they chat
Scar asking if Martyn wanted him to play a romantic music disc for him and Cleo (and Martyn getting excited and saying yes)
Martyn offering to take Cleo's armor and weapons to the deep dark so he can enchant them and bring them back while she stays safe
Cleo gifting Martyn diamonds, expecting nothing in return but not wanting him to die from lack of a good sword
Martyn and Cleo forming a secret alliance that allows Cleo to live with Scott while being on good terms with Martyn
Martyn expressing frustration that Cleo wants to keep this alliance secret because he wants them to be public allies; Cleo softly shushes him when people approach and might overhear
Martyn telling Cleo that she's putting out a lot of mixed signals because she keeps reeling him in and then pushing him away, claiming he is very confused about where he stands with her
Martyn teasing Cleo by punching her off a cliff and accidentally killing her and feeling so bad about it that he apologizes profusely despite roleplaying as someone who refused to apologize for Session 1
Martyn and Cleo immediately threatening Bdubs together when he said hi to them while they were hanging out, sdkfj
Martyn genuinely apologizing to Pearl for dumping her after Session 1
Martyn hiding under Cleo's bed while she defends him from an enderman attack
Cleo offering to let Martyn move into her house after Etho and Joel grief his base; Martyn saying he might take her up on that
Cleo and Martyn agreeing to move out and base together at Box
Cleo trusting Martyn with the location and resources of her red life base
Martyn rushing to Cleo's aid in the deep dark and trying to turn everyone against him instead
Cleo responding to Martyn's panicked shouts for her to eat by opening her inventory to get food (and drowning because she forgot she was in water)
Cleo hanging back and letting Martyn attack Scott while she does nothing to stop him from doing so, implying as much as she likes Scott, she won't kill Martyn (and herself) for him (and/or she trusted Scott to handle himself even though he ran away while Martyn was shooting at him)
Things that did not happen:
Cleo unwilling to forgive Martyn or consider being his friend and partner
Martyn and Cleo hating each other
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk
#Listen. listen. I understand. but consider... them#Zombiewood#ZombieCleo#Martyn InTheLittleWood#Limited Life canon: Cleo making Martyn godfather to her kids#I 100% support everyone taking their own interpretations from the episodes-#but I often see ''Martyn and Cleo hate each other'' and I wonder ''Did we even watch the same thing?''#and with so many POVs that only see them from the outside perhaps we did not!! So consider... them. Let's rotate them <3#This post is about the sheer amount of 'Martyn dumps Cleo for Ren' fics tagged Martyn/Cleo vs. minimal affectionate fics. help??#also fics where Martyn/Mumbo was canon but Martyn claims he was never attracted to him- only Ren?? Fascinating.#sir can the whole plot be about that because hold up I feel like we should unpack your loveless marriage before you date Ren#I will 100% read a story about you charging into marriage with Mumbo and then going ''Uh I just made a big mistake.'' hilarious#I mean I'm not Ren but if my crush confessed he never loved his husband in the first place I feel like I'd have Questions#To each their own! And I for one greatly enjoy how much Martyn will chase Cleo without humbling himself. lol. idiot. get wrecked.#but just to be clear I am a huge fan of break-up 'fics and choosing to be with someone you want. ergo my interest in Grian/BigB#This post is about Martyn/Cleo and Grian/BigB being fandom rarepairs despite having canon interest in each other#which is 100% fine because everyone should write what they want but!! Come rotate them with me because they are so fun and silly#Grian the man who deliberately cuts comments about Grian/Scar and Martyn/Mumbo from his vids but pursues BigB?? hilarious#In-universe this man went from ''Romance? I do not see it'' to ''Actually I want the cute cookie man'' and took the leap??#Yes king tell me more about this journey of self-discovery. I am aspec-beam'ing you.#Anyway. Need more Martyn/Cleo in my life which is why I'm writing fics of that and other people write fics about what they like <3#but sometimes people don't like it when I pair Martyn and Cleo because ''They hate each other'' and I laugh sfdlkj
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Still wild to me that the Avatar team saw a guy write a love story between a stick and a monkey and were like "This is the guy who we need to write Rangshi and Yangvik" and then he ended up making two of the best couples in all of the Avatar-verse TT0TT
#rangshi#yangvik#'a stick and a monkey?' did I stutter?#listen they knew they wanted to make Kyo's love life messy and were like 'HIM! THAT'S THE GUY! GO HAM!'#of course by the 2nd novel i was shipping the stick and the goddess but that wasn't intentional on Yee's part#willllld that Iron will came out AFTER RoK#maybe some of the yuri rubbed off on his writing kjfdsakljfda#i did like the stick and monkey romance in Epic crush tho don't get me wrong they are fun#it's just that Iron Will they get shoved to the side for uhhh *reads palm* “sisterhood” hmm uh huh yeah that's what that is hmmm#I know this man CAN write sisterhood. Jetsun is proof#i think the issue is that the monkey gets sidelined waaaaay tooo much in the 2nd novel#listen all i'm saying is that genie has a boyfriend.......BUT she also gets two girlfriends in Iron will ok it's a poly situation#Please come back for the Szeto novel FC Yee! *pray emoji*#Have Szeto make out with a volcano and that's how he learns lava bending~! <3 *pray emoji*#(y'all need to read both Epic Crush and Iron Will of Genie Lo bc you'll see A LOT of how both Kyo and YCs novels were influenced)#(it's really fun to see)#guanyin is like if kirima and yangchen merged (and had the voice of chaisee...if you're listening to the audio book)#genie is 100% the rangshi love child#there's a yun/jianzhu dynamic in this too but it plays out differently which is fun#ahhh there's a lot I need to re-read it tbh but i like them#RoK/LoY/1st half SoK>2nd half SoK/Epic Crush>DoY>>>Iron Will#That's how I'd rank the novels imo (tho I REALLY do love Iron Will's ending#I'm just a little....hmmm eh on how we got there....but it's a much better/happier ending than what Kyo got so :'D I'll take it)#epic crush of genie lo#iron will of genie lo
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As this year comes to a close here's hoping for more (I.e. any) Morally grey aroace protagonists in (adult) fiction. Because as much I love Ymir by Rich Larson, I can't just keep reading one book over and over again. I'm starving for Dirtbag Aces in media.
#books#asexual#booklr#ace#asexual books#aroace#ace books#I honestly feel so alone in wanting more villainous or at least not 100% squeaky clean moral paragon ace characters#especially bc the rest of the community has decided that those type of aces are “bad representation” like yeah there's a history of villains#being coded as asexual to emphasise their evil bc appearantly not experiencing attraction = evil#but God damn it is so demoralising seeing other queer identies getting to have Good(!) messy/morally derelict representation that has#dedicated subcultures that clamour for and celebrate such#but the ace community is still on that infantilisation type beat where ace characters have to be the most blandly inoffensive#can't so much as say a mean word goody toe shoes or it's “bad rep”#pheww I went off a bit there but uh yeah if you want a class traitor drug addicted cyborg alien monster hunter ace mc then read#ymir by Rich larson#and if you also appreciate a good villainous ace then let me know so I'm not the lone ace who likes the “bad rep” aces#also i don't dislike good/nice characters and I genuinely hate the edgelord sentiment that good/nice (queer) characters are boring ugh#I'd just like to see more variety in aroace characters and not see every halfway decently written villainous ace character get dumped on for#“bad representation” by the ace community#so yeah I love me some#dirt bag aces
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just so we're all aware i think the most delightful way to interpret sun's crush on roxanne was that roxy gave sun massive gender envy but she didn't know she was trans yet and so she mixed up the feeling of "i want to be her" as "i want to kiss her" instead 👍
#xero says things#i saw a confession once that was abt sun being transmasc and liking roxy bc roxy liked him as a Boy and it gave him gender euphoria#and i love that take just as much too but i did also 100% read it wrong so i ended up with this take from it instead AHAJABSJD#was reminded of it just now by a skeletons thing my friend sent me so i figured i'd throw it out there LOL#sun and moon show#the sun and moon show#tsams#sams sun
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idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.
the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.
yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.
but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?
this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.
yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.
i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.
so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.
because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.
he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.
but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.
yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.
#UGH. sick of this stupid show (<- pathologically obsessed with it (it's just on a downturn rn))#anyway hi welcome back to my terrible mind here's another excruciatingly long yyh meta post no one's gonna read that i should just make a#video essay because nobody wants to squint through all that text but MAYBE they'd listen to me read it out. anyway#i actually made and then abandoned another post comparing yusuke's sacrifice here to genkai's death by toguro if anyone's interested in tha#anyway yeah sorry if im rusty in uh talkking about these guys. they're still rattling around in here dw#that comment just fucking hijacked my brain. my first thought was to make an ep 89 yusuke pov fic but since that's Probably not#gonna ever Actually get done (sorry) i figured i'd put the analysis behind it here bc this fucking choice makes me want to rip my hair out#(in a good way in a painful way)#yeah this gets derailed. ugh i hope all that stuff about yusuke's motivation in this gambit makes sense bc i still don't feel 100% about my#reading of it. his ass IS very much an unreliable narrator. but in what way? ehhhhh it's hard to say for sure in this case. to me.#yyh#yu yu hakusho#yyh meta#yayyy#yusuke urameshi#literally wrote for so long the sun started rising (<- not impressive since you don't know when i began writing. but i can't tell you bc i#don't remember lol)#also: his relinquishing of this fight is very interesting to me. he loses his shit when raizen kills sensui and deprives him of that victor#and he tells the others to stand down once he returns. so clearly he still Cares about beating sensui himself#but when he thinks there's no other choice he's willing to settle for passing that torch to his friends#he's like well they've earned a good revenge killing. as a treat#the real answer is probably something like 'it would fuck with the pacing' but fuck that lol it's in the show i'm going to talk about it#and a lot of this still applies even if he Can't hear them bc he Has to expect the begging and crying bc 1. he's lived it via toguro 2. his#plan depends on it. even if he's only imagining his friends' heartbreak he's choosing to ignore it for the sake of his plan#ANYWAY the real answer for. pretty much everyone is to give up fighting and find something healthier to attach their worth to#which is why kuwa not being in the final arc is a good thing (as much as it hurts me not to see my boy)#yyh really said YOU HAVE TO BECOME WELL ADJUSTED. DYING WILL NOT GET YOU OUT OF IT#i only skimmed thru this once sorry if it's ass
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