#I'M SO INSANE RIGHT NOW YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

[dear-ao3]

Katya mentioned something about John Adams being woke in comparison to many politicians today. I'm just wondering about his policies if you'd like to say anything. Only one I really remember is the Sedition Act or whatever it was called which was...not great if I remember right. You totally don't have to respond, I'm just curious! Also if you want to just list certain things for me to look up, that works as well. But seriously I don't mean to bother you.

I just find it interesting because so often people talk about the founding fathers without actually knowing crap about them. Like I've seen people say stuff like "the founding fathers meant this" just for there to literally be letters/essays/policies/etc that literally say the opposite. Which is insane because you'd think originalists would study very heavily the first several years after the Constitution. If you want to know what James Madison thought about the first amendment...dude was president...study what he did during that time. Same with all of the other founders that were in some part of the government.

I just happen to know less about John Adams than other founders but I'm interested in learning more! I find history fascinating and I particularly like to study early US history because so many ppl have misconceptions.

im going to be real with u boss i was making a joke. trust me, i know john adams sucked. i believe you're referring to his very unpopular alien and sedition acts of 1798, which restricted immigration and free speech.

i study american history. i was making a joke about how bad his presidency was, but i now understand what website i am on now and will refrain from making future comment. anyway, i am more well versed in the civil war, but whatevs live laugh love.

this isnt a diss on u anon, but like i was just joking.

[midnightshindig]

You write the Cecil’s kid hc’s so well! Could we see him assigning his kid who’s already friends with Mark to try and get more info on him after the events of season 3 (basically betray his trust and spy on him a little)? Bonus points if Mark didn’t know the reader was related to Cecil when they became friends :)

Idk how to title this just read the ask

This is such a cool idea!! I've been kind of frustrated with Mark this season, but he's also a teenager just trying to navigate the world in a way that makes the most sense to him.

SEASON THREE SPOILERS!!

Hcs below the cut!

After Nolan goes insane and abandons Earth, Cecil decides he needs a constant feed of information on Mark's mental state

Enter stage right: his teenage child

Who, up till now, was a secret from all but the highest ranking government officials.

but now he's transferred you to Reginald Vel Johnson High School, rigging the system just enough so that you have three classes plus lunch with Mark.

He gently suggested it might be a good idea to make friends, and send you on your way.

and much to his chagrin, you and Mark hit it off immediately!

You only find out why your dad made you change schools when Mark reveals his secret identity to you

but luckily for Cecil, you know your dad well

He has reasons for things

"Y/n... I'm... Invincible."

"oh? OH-! Cool- thats- amazing, Mark, really! I'm gonna be right back!" And you crash into the hallway, running down the stairs out to your car and calling your dad

"Y/n I told you not to call this line at wo-"

"YOU SET ME UP WITH INVINCIBLE?!"

"Woahhhh, no. No, not like that I just- I need to keep an eye on him. I'm not asking you to spy or betray anybody, just make sure he's level-headed and not an evil Viltrumite. Okay, kiddo?"

So you begrudgingly start reporting to your dad on Mark's mental state

And this goes fine, for a while

You and Mark get into college together, staying in contact even when Mark goes rogue

All until Mark threatens Cecil, and Cecil reveals he basically has an audio bomb implanted into Mark

Mark comes home to tell you and William about it, not understanding when you choked on your drink at the news

"He did WHAT?" You yelled, slamming your mug down onto William's dorm table and pulling yourself to your feet "That fucking- I can't believe-" You mumbled incoherently, trying to keep your cover

Would Mark still be your friend if he knew?

Would your dad blow this for you?

You didn't know what to expect at all

Mark's right across from you, talking about how he threatened your father, and you don't know if he would do the same to you

I mean, of course he wouldn't

You've known Mark almost two years by now, you're practically family

You go on like this, nervously keeping your fathers secret

and it's fine until he starts asking more and more of you

Ask deeper questions, get more specifics, figure out what he's planning, try and convince him Cecil is right

and how can you say no when his throat is purple and bruised

you loved your dad

and so you start digging deeper into Mark

"Say, Mark," you pop a fry into your mouth, him, you, and William at a drive through parking lot "Why don't you believe in rehabilitation? I mean, like, you were pretty anti prison in highschool, remember that whole presentation we had to do?"

Mark tenses, and he can't give you a better answer than "It's just not right. Y/n, it just.... it isn't okay."

There isn't a lot you can do with that.

Mark, in secret, is growing suspicious

He's paranoid, though, and can't take his suspicious seriously

What if though? What if you're an alien or a spy or someone who could get someone really hurt?

He asks Rudy to run a background check on you

"I'm surprised Mark, what do you want to know?" He seems candid, like this is an unusual request but nothing he can't do

"I want to know- uhg- everything! Where they come from, are they evil? A criminal past? Wh-"

Rudy cuts off Mark, with a curious voice "Where they come from? Mark of course they're human, just as human as Cecil is, and he swears the mother was human as well"

"What does Cecil have to do with this?"

"Oh. Oh you don't know."

Mark is growing impatient "Don't know what, Rudy?"

"Y/n is Cecil's child. How else would I know them?"

"I didn't know you knew them! I- what???" Mark is furious, his chest starts heaving and he crouches down on the floor of teen teams hideout

He has to talk to you.

Tensions are high when you meet

in the woods

behind your university

alone.

He knows, he has to know, there's not way he doesn't know and he's not going to totally murder you oh noooooo

So when Mark arrives, and you're shaking like a leaf, it only reaffirms your guilt in his eyes

"Y/n- You're working for Cecil? Why?!"

"Why? Mark- he's my dad!" You're on the verge of crying, a state of hysteria Mark has never seen you reach

But he's relentless, and continues "Our whole friendship was a lie?! You've been, what? Spying on me? Poisoning me slowly in my sleep? What- are you just waiting to strike?!"

He approaches you, and you duck to the ground, covering your head with your hands

"Please don't hurt me!!"

Mark pauses, watching his friend- who never felt scared of him before- cower beneath him, flinching when he raises his voice

He felt his soles hit the ground, unaware he'd even begun flying

"Y/n.... I'm not going to hurt you."

He patted the top of your head as you looked up at him, bleary-eyed

"But... I can't let you hurt me either."

and with that, Mark was gone, the fallen leaves flying everywhere as he left

and you were left alone in the woods, still shaking like a leaf

Mark was hurt and betrayed, and he couldn't hurt you

but he could definitely hurt Cecil

and he just might.

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

The Rich Bitch

note: I have a weird fascination with tv shows in which they show/sell/renovate homes, and I watch that shit daily, so that's why this fic now exists. This fic is for the S Club girls, you know who you are 🖤

warnings: 18+!! smut, language, unprotected sex bc pregnancy is not a thing in my fic world.

pairing: Realtor!Sihtric x fem!reader (no use of Y/N)

summary: After being dropped as a buyer by Uhtred and Finan, because you were impossible to deal with, Sihtric took on the job of being your new realtor. Your attitude was something he would surely fix in time, but his main mission was to sell you a house, whatever it would take.

word count: 7,4k

Masterlist

Reblogs & comments are immensely appreciated.

'Come on,' Sihtric laughed, 'it can't be that bad.'

'Oh, it is,' Uhtred stressed, 'you don't understand.'

'He's right,' Finan backed Uhtred, 'I dropped her as a client for the same reason. She's just impossible.'

'I also thought it wasn't that bad,' Uhtred added, 'so I made my move when Finan dropped her, thinking I could easily sell a house to her. Because how bad could it really be, right?'

'You can't even begin to imagine,' Finan said, 'I showed her dozens of mansions, and nothing was good enough. She's a rich bitch who is impossible to please.'

'And I did the same, showing her the most amazing houses that people would die for,' Uhtred sighed, 'but Finan's right, nothing was good enough. I'm out of ideas, I truly am. I can't sell a house to her, it's impossible. I showed her a house with a pool that was the size of an amateur basketball court, and she complained it was too small. Too small! She's a single woman, Sihtric! What does she need a pool for that's bigger than the size of a damned basketball court?!'

Sihtric leaned back in his fancy black chair, with his leather boots put up on his desk as he smirked at the two men who he shared the workplace with. The three were all real estate agents, the best in town nonetheless, and their agency was booming; selling multiple luxurious villas and mansions weekly, earning satisfied client after satisfied client. But that was until you had appeared at their door one day, looking for a new home that was the best of the best. Finan was up for the task, because nothing was a bigger jab in the face to his fellow estate agents, which were his best friends too, than selling an insanely expensive house to a drop dead gorgeous woman. But unfortunately for the Irishman, you turned out to be a handful. Finan dropped you as his client after he had shown you so many houses that he had lost count, all which you turned down for the most ridiculous reasons.

'At the last house I showed her she said she didn't like the carpet,' Finan groaned, 'the carpet! She didn't buy it because of the carpet. I mean, Jesus Christ! You can hire someone to pull that bloody carpet out!'

'Maybe she wants a home that doesn't need any work,' Sihtric shrugged, 'that's a common demand.'

'No,' Uhtred snapped, 'that's not it. I have shown her well over ten properties that she could move in right on the day, and still,' he threw his hands up, 'I give up, you can have her,' he looked at Sihtric, 'otherwise we drop her from our agency.'

'Fine by me, I'll take it,' Sihtric chuckled, 'you know I like a challenge.'

'Yeah, good luck,' Uhtred scoffed, 'I'll talk to you in a week.'

'Trust me, I'll sell a place to her,' Sihtric smiled, full of confidence.

'And there he is,' Finan laughed, 'the cocky bastard. We'll see about that.'

Sihtric was not quite like his friends and fellow agents when it came to work. Uhtred always dressed formally for the job, wearing a fancy suit with nice and shiny shoes underneath, and treating those in search of a new home like absolute royalty, which was a guaranteed success for a sale. Finan was always dressed rather sharply too, but less formal, and he was more the kind of estate agent to joke around and lure his clients into a purchase with his friendly smile while promising them a special discount, one that didn't even exist, but it always worked.

But Sihtric was a little different. He didn't do formal wear, instead he dressed in whatever he felt like on the day. Some days he'd wear a nice blouse with some jeans and leather boots, and other days he'd show up with a loose fitting t-shirt, some sweatpants and a pair of expensive sneakers. He didn't wear fancy jewelry, except for some rings around his tattooed fingers. He also had a visible tattoo on his neck. His hair was either loose and messy, or tied back into a bun, or entirely braided, and he had a well kept goatee as well as a few scars on his face.

Buyers always were a little wary of him at first glance, as they'd expect a real estate agent who sold houses that cost millions to be dressed as a millionaire himself. But it was simply impossible for anyone to not warm to Sihtric's charm after only a few minutes. Sihtric was smart and canny, he always figured out in no time what buyers were actually looking for and the things they didn't want at all, resulting in many successful sales. He could read people like no other, and if he realised a buyer wasn't feeling the house he was showing, he'd cut off the viewing because he was not about to waste anyone's time. 

Sihtric was also direct, never sugarcoating anything for anyone. He sold homes and he never wanted to sell lies, and in all his years of working in the business, he never had to drop someone because he failed to sell them a home. And he would do whatever it would take to keep that reputation. If he only knew what he had signed up for when he took you over as a client from Uhtred.

You were livid when Uhtred dumped you as his client out of the blue, through an email. First Finan, and now him. You didn't understand why those men couldn't just do their job of finding you a forever home, as if it should be that hard. You considered changing estate agencies, but in the email Uhtred referred you to his colleague, Sihtric, and you decided to give the firm another chance. You wouldn't deny that Uhtred and Finan had tried to find you a new home, albeit barely though in your eyes, they still had tried. 

You didn't have much hope for that Sihtric guy if you were honest, but you still pulled up to the address you had received by email a few days after your agent change. As usual, you had done no prior research nor looked the house up on maps, so the house listed was a surprise at first sight when you arrived.

It was a mansion to say the least, with a massive driveway and a dramatic fountain in the middle of it. The smell of chlorine greeted your nostrils when you stepped out of your silver Rolls Royce, indicating the mansion had a pool in the back. You hoped that it was at least of a decent size, and not like that pathetic little kiddy pool the house had which Uhtred showed you once. Your black high heels clicked on the pavement while your white sundress flowed behind you as you crossed the street. It was a hot summer afternoon. Your large Dior summer hat and big Gucci sunglasses shielded your face from the sun, and also managed to hide half of your disgusted face when you stopped before stepping onto the actual driveway, seeing it was no smooth surface but consisted of millions of dark pebbles instead. You sighed and groaned softly, there was no way you were able to make it to the front door without scratching your beloved Louboutin's.

You looked around and then spotted a rather rugged looking man coming out of the house, and you frowned. You lowered your designer shades and glared over the rim, judging the man's nonchalant haircut as his long hair was tied back, and you muttered an 'Ew,' upon seeing the simple black jeans he wore with a pair of hideous black boots underneath. Your demand for every house you were shown was to be available, meaning no residents or employees living there anymore, so you weren't sure why this man just came out of the house. But regardless, you needed help crossing those pebbles from hell to even view the inside of the house in the first place. And since the man seemed strong and muscular even from a distance, you were sure he could help you, whoever he was. Little did you know that it was Sihtric, your new real estate agent.

You pushed your shades back up your nose and waved at him.

'Uhm, excuse me!' you called out, 'are you the pool boy?'

'Pool boy?' Sihtric murmured to himself, 'who the fuck does she think she is?' He then cleared his throat and called back, 'Ma'am?'

Sihtric was confused as to why you were yelling at him instead of coming over, but he figured immediately that you were the nightmare buyer Uhtred and Finan had warned him about. And you in turn were offended when the man didn't come over right away, leaving you like a damsel in distress on the opposite side of the driveway.

'Do you work here?' you yelled.

'Eh, I'm your real estate agent!' he yelled back.

'Oh!' you chuckled, then made a face, 'oh… okay, so you must be Sihtric?'

'I am!'

You looked at him and scoffed at how he simply didn't come over to offer any help, surely he saw your shoes and the impossible road ahead of you. You truly had to spell everything out for a man.

'Well,' you yelled and pointed at the pebbles, 'surely a strong man such as yourself could help me cross this driveway?'

Sihtric stared at the small rocks and then had to fight a grin, because he knew what you wanted now. You wanted him to hold your hand as you stumbled across the driveway, or even better, you wanted to be carried by him all the way up to the front door. Why else would you bring up his physique like that? But Sihtric wasn't about that special treatment, and he refused to give it to you.

'You got feet?' Sihtric yelled.

'Excuse me?'

'Do you have feet?' he asked, slowly this time.

'Of course I have feet!' you snarled, 'but these pebbles,' you groaned, 'have you seen my shoes?'

'Oh, I see them,' he smirked and looked at your bare legs for a split second, even from afar he couldn't deny you were hot. 'But you have feet, yeah? So you can walk too?' Sihtric asked, amused.

'Yes, I can walk too!' you hissed, 'I don't understand what-'

'Great! Then I'll meet you inside,' Sihtric yelled and gave you a thumbs up, then stepped inside the house and disappeared.

'What?' you scoffed.

You thought he was joking, but after a few long seconds it became evident that Sihtric was not coming out to help you, so you groaned and pouted as you took off your shoes. And after you had finally made your way across the boiling hot pebbles, barefooted, you sat down and cleaned your already blistering feet with the wipes you always kept in your Louis Vuitton purse. You were fuming when you put your heels back on and turned to see Sihtric, looking at you with a shit-eating grin on his face as he leaned against the doorpost. He thought you were gorgeous, and he'd flirt with you instantly if he wasn't aware that you were such a bitch. So instead of flirting he decided to remind you that just because you had a lot of money, didn't mean you deserved to be treated like a queen if you weren't a kind person yourself.

'Well, would you look at that? I'm proud of you, miss,' he smiled down at you, 'you made it all the way here by yourself. Was it a life changing experience? Do you need a foot massage tonight?'

'Uhtred could have warned me about his replacement being such an asshole,' you huffed and got up, 'not very professional, are you?' you sneered as you gave him a judgemental look, glaring over the rim of your shades again.

'And I am delighted to meet you too,' Sihtric mocked and bowed his head a little to you, 'so, now that we're done with the formalities, shall we view the house then?' he asked and turned on his heels, then made another jest, 'you might want to take off those shades, or the house may come off dark-'

'Why is the house not gated?' you snapped, 'anyone can just go up to the front door, and I don't like that.'

Sihtric turned back to you and scoffed with a smile. He then pursed his lips and nodded lightly as he scratched his goatee for a moment.

'So you want a gated property?' he asked.

'Of course I do.'

'And yet when my colleague asked about your wishes during the intake, you didn't mention that. Your only demand was for the houses to be empty and available right away.'

'Must've slipped my mind,' you shrugged.

'Sure did,' Sihtric smiled, then became serious all of the sudden, 'but then I hereby declare that this viewing is over. I will go back to my office now, and I will contact you by the end of the day with a new listing.'

He pushed past you and opened the front door again, pointing you out.

'Excuse me?' you asked, absolutely baffled.

'You want a gated property,' Sihtric said, 'and that is not what this is. So we both know you will not be buying this house. My time is valuable, miss, and I am not wasting it for anyone.'

You couldn't believe your ears, and you couldn't possibly pick the right curse word to call him out with. You had just made your way to the front door only, without shoes, only to not even get a full tour of the property. You were offended and angry that he dared to treat you like that, and so you just stormed out of the house without another word.

'Oh, miss?' Sihtric called after you as you stepped off the porch, 'careful with those heels on your way back, will you? I'll make sure the next house has no pebbled driveway.'

'You- how dare you!' you snarled and attempted to jump at him, but the agent was quick to slam the door in your face.

Sihtric had kept his word and emailed you with another house to view that same night, and your appointment was scheduled two days after your first horrible encounter. That night after the failed viewing, you wrote a long email in which you complained about Sihtric and his behaviour, and you had emailed it to Uhtred. Uhtred in turn had forwarded it to Sihtric, with the added message: 'Told you so.' But all Sihtric did was laugh when he read the amazingly worded rant about him, written by you, that clearly meant nothing. Because despite the fact you were apparently "incredibly offended" and "disgusted by his behaviour and appearance", you still agreed to be present at the next viewing, so Sihtric knew there had to be something that kept you coming back.

And he was equally as amused and irritated upon seeing you for the second time. The way you got out of your expensive car in that tight fitting dress, he was surprised you didn't have a driver to help you out. You wore the same heels as last time, but this time you were able to walk up to the door all by yourself. But not before you had to ring and wait at the intercom for minutes before Sihtric responded. He had heard the ringing the first time, and he had seen you get out of your car as he looked through the front door's window, but he liked to see you struggle in the heat before he opened the gates that surrounded the building.

'Good afternoon, miss,' Sihtric smiled widely as he stood in the door.

'Afternoon,' you replied and feigned a smile back.

You hadn't forgotten about his behaviour, the only upgrade today was that he looked a little more… decent. His hair was braided and he wore a grey blouse that wasn't fully buttoned up, showing off a little bit of chest with his hammer pendant visible, but not in a tacky way. The only thing that ruined his look was the fact he wore those leather boots again underneath his black jeans. You couldn't deny that he was good looking, for a savage looking man that was. Your type was the all shaved and spray-tanned rich business man, who treated you like a queen, and Sihtric didn't even come close to looking or behaving like that. But still, you knew a handsome man when you saw one, and there was something about Sihtric that was undeniably attractive, you just couldn't stand his attitude.

'So, the house is gated and we got no pebbles,' Sihtric remarked, 'how did we like the exterior then?'

'Not too bad,' you admitted, 'but the gates could be higher, because people can still climb over.'

'They could,' he agreed, 'but this place has the latest security system installed, with cameras covering the entire property day and night. It's in direct contact with a security company that is housed at the end of this street, it looks after every other mansion in this area. Also the top of those gates are secured with electricity, giving you a good shock you'll need to recover from when you try to climb over.'

It was clear you had nothing to remark, and that pleased Sihtric, meaning he got to cross one of your demands off the list he had created the night before. He would sell you a house, he knew he would. Maybe not today, but he would in time.

'Now, if you come in,' he said and stepped aside to welcome you into the spacious hallway, 'you will see that this place was recently renovated by the previous owners.'

'I see,' you said and looked at the ceiling, 'and… does that chandelier come with the house?'

'It does.'

'I hate it.'

'Well, then if you decide to buy this place, you can take it down.'

'I don't want to put in any work.'

'No shit,' Sihtric mumbled, then spoke up, 'then you can hire someone.'

'Why would I spend money on someone for that?'

'Why wouldn't you grab some stairs and take it down yourself?' he retorted, 'oh, wait,' he clicked his tongue, 'of course, how stupid of me, you can't do that wearing those heels.'

'I can do a lot in these heels that would surprise you,' you snarked.

'Oh, can you now?' Sihtric smirked. He looked you up and down for a split second and bit down on his lower lip. 'Look,' he sighed, 'just forget that chandelier, okay? That's not what it's about. It's about this house being the right fit for you. So, let's continue to the living room.'

You followed the realtor into the impressively large and empty living room, and you wandered around slowly as you inspected the place while Sihtric gave you all the details you needed.

'It's been renovated last year,' he began, his eyes following you around while he leaned back against the wall, 'the whole house that is. New floor, new kitchen, new layer of paint. It's basically brand new. It's got double-pane windows everywhere, also new, and the size of the windows allow for a perfect amount of natural light to brighten up every room, making it even feel more spacious than it already is.'

'I see,' you murmured, quite satisfied with what you saw so far.

'Any complaints?' Sihtric asked with a smirk.

'None,' you looked at him, 'yet.'

'Very well,' he said, 'let's go through that door on your right then, and I'll show you the kitchen.'

You followed Sihtric again and, after the living room had surprisingly pleased you, the spacious kitchen did too.

'Countertops are all granite,' Sihtric informed you, 'and the cabinet handles are actually antiques, they reused the originals when they renovated it. Furthermore the kitchen comes with the latest technology when it comes to cooking. You got your built in multifunction oven-'

'I don't cook,' you interrupted, 'so all that doesn't matter to me.'

'You don't cook,' Sihtric said, then chuckled, 'of course you don't. Well, then, if the kitchen doesn't matter, we'll move onto the first floor.'

Sihtric took the lead again and walked you up the grand spiral staircase, which he told you was also brand new. He felt confident this time showing you around. Maybe you hated the chandelier in the entrance hall, but so far you hadn't complained about anything else, which pleased him. But his confidence was shattered when he saw your face as you looked around the master bedroom.

'What is it?' Sihtric almost groaned, looking at the perfect bedroom.

'The ceilings,' you scoffed as you looked up, 'they are too low.'

'Too low?'

'Yes, I feel… it's just very claustrophobic.'

'Claust- lady,' he took a deep breath to calm himself, pinching the bridge of his nose as he did. 'Okay, okay,' he fake smiled, 'noted, madam. I wasn't aware you required high ceilings at all times, my bad,' he then muttered, 'probably need it for your ego.'

'What was that?' you snapped.

'Nothing,' Sihtric said. 

He knew for a fact there was nothing wrong with the ceilings, as they weren't low at all. In fact, the ceilings had been raised during the renovation, so he knew you were just bullshitting him. But knowing that, he immediately told you once again that the viewing was over. And once back at his office, he added the low ceilings and chandelier to your shit list, joining the pebbles and non-gated properties.

Sihtric found it was indeed not an easy task to find something that would please you. The biggest issue was that most available homes had already been shown to you, and you had turned all of them down. He stayed up night after night, working outside of his office hours, looking for that one property you just couldn't refuse. And after hours of searching, he finally found one. He went by the place himself twice before sending you an email to schedule an appointment, making sure that there was nothing that wouldn't satisfy you, and he felt confident again.

When you met Sihtric for a third time, outside the gates of yet another seemingly perfect property, you were completely shocked by his appearance. He looked even more rugged than usual, which you thought was impossible. His hair was loose and seemed somewhat uncombed, as if he had just gotten out of bed. Not a professional look in your opinion. Also his plain white t-shirt and black sweatpants weren't very professional for a realtor either, you thought, and you couldn't hide your unpleasantly surprised face as you crossed the street.

You were dressed in your fancy heels, wearing a short black skirt and a white sleeveless crop top. Your LV bag dangled from your shoulder, and you took off your Gucci shades as you approached him.

'Good morning to you too,' Sihtric sighed upon seeing your disapproving face.

'Are you okay?' you asked, with actual concern, 'are you sick?'

'Sick?' Sihtric asked, mildly offended. He was a little tired perhaps, as you had given him a headache non stop with your ridiculous demands, but there was nothing that could indicate he was feeling under the weather. 'Why do you think I'm sick?'

'Well,' you scoffed and gestured at him, 'you look like shit.'

'I beg your pardon?'

'Look at you!' you almost yelled, 'did you even brush your hair? Christ, you look homeless.'

Sihtric stared at you, his duo-coloured eyes full of rage, and he clenched his jaw in an attempt to calm himself. He took a deep breath and then laughed as he shook his head.

'Nah, I'm not playing that game,' he sighed and grabbed the keys out of his pocket, 'come on.' He walked you through the gates and up to the fancy porch. 'The property is gated, there's a smooth cement driveway and, I checked, there's no chandelier in the entrance hall and no low ceilings in the bedroom. So, how do you like the outside?' he asked before opening the front door.

'It's nice,' you said curtly, 'I like the palm trees over there.'

'Wait,' Sihtric scoffed, 'did you just say you actually liked something?'

You glared at the realtor, not sure if he was joking or actually mocking you, so you sighed and rolled your eyes as you told him to shut up. Sihtric grinned at that, and he then opened the front door for you. He bowed like a servant as he welcomed you inside, which got on your nerves, and in return to his attitude you held your purse out to him. Sihtric was confused for a moment, but decided to take it, and you then smiled almost wickedly at him.

'Thank you,' you smiled and walked further into the hallway.

Sihtric scoffed and then chuckled, knowing it was his own fault for falling for that trick you just pulled. But if you expected him to carry your bag around the house for you, then you were wrong. Because he dumped the expensive purse on the floor when you had your back turned, and he kicked it with his foot underneath a decorative table next to the door, all while he checked out your ass as you walked ahead of him. He silently wondered if you always dressed rather risky and revealingly, or if you only just did it when you were viewing houses.

You were pleased at first sight when you looked around, for there indeed was no hideous chandelier present and the hall was spacious and bright. Sihtric gave you a quick rundown on all the important things; the two story home was recently renovated with a great security system, it had five bedrooms, five bathrooms, two massive living rooms, one grand kitchen, and there was also a brand new pool in the back which he'd show you later. If you'd make it that far obviously, because first he was going to show you the living room and the kitchen.

'It's nice and bright,' you said as you stood in the living area, your voice bouncing off the walls in the large empty space, 'I like it.'

'Well, I just can't believe my ears,' Sihtric chuckled.

'Don't push it, mister Realtor,' you side-eyed him.

'Oh, I wouldn't dare,' he winked, and then walked you to the kitchen. 'The kitchen was renovated along with the rest of the house, as you can see, they made the countertops granite-'

'Granite,' you interrupted, with a look of disgust painted on your face.

'Yes, the countertop is made of granite,' Sihtric confirmed, then suddenly lost his confidence, 'as is the kitchen island- I… I don't see how that is a problem?'

'I don't like granite.'

Sihtric stared at you with undeniable fury in his eyes once again, while his lower lip was drawn between his teeth. He briefly pinched the bridge of his nose before raking his hand through his hair, his blood boiling inside of him as he went over your list of demands in his head, and suddenly something inside him snapped. He swallowed hard, then exhaled sharply but slowly, and a forced smile appeared on his face.

'It's only the granite you don't like, miss?' he asked, 'or is there anything else about this kitchen that you hate, my lady?'

'Just the granite,' you said after you looked around again, then looked straight at him, 'and watch your tone.'

'Right, okay,' Sihtric rasped and clapped his hands together and stepped closer, 'no granite countertops for the lady, my apologies,' he visibly feigned his compassion, 'however, I can't help notice how at the previous house I showed you, you never made a remark about the granite, which was nearly identical to this here. You only complained about the ceilings being too low in the bedroom, which was ridiculous in the first place. And actually,' he scoffed, 'the ceiling right here is lower than the ceiling we saw in that bedroom, yet you aren't saying a word about that today. So, tell me, are you just a fucking brat all the time, or do you really have a problem with everything my firm has shown you?'

'Excuse me?' you asked, shocked at his sudden outburst.

'Oh, wait, wait,' he chuckled and held his hands up, 'is it commitment issues?'

'What is wrong with you?' you snarled and gaped at him.

'Yeah, that's it, isn't it?' Sihtric smiled proudly and leaned back against the granite counter, 'you keep finding excuses because you are simply afraid to commit to a house. Same reason you are single I assume?'

'This is absolutely ridiculous,' you scoffed, 'what are you, my therapist?'

'So you do have issues?'

'We all have issues!'

'Sure we do.'

'So what's yours?' you snarked and took a step towards him, 'being rude to people? Mansplaining commitment issues? Or are you just a shit realtor?'

'Mansplaining?' Sihtric half hissed and got up in your face, 'I ain't mansplaining anything. I just want to know why you are being such a bitch about every property you've seen, when clearly there is not a single thing wrong with any of them. What is your goal? Why do you keep coming back to me, when clearly I can't find you the right house? Why have you not dropped me as your realtor yet, if I'm so shit at my job?'

'I don't know,' you shrugged, 'maybe I just like to piss you off.'

'Oh, so that's it?' Sihtric clicked his tongue as he towered over you, 'you just enjoy being a rich bitch, huh?'

'Maybe I do,' you half smiled, not backing away, 'and maybe I like the fact you're not giving up on me as a client, but talk back to me instead.'

'So all of this attitude,' Sihtric said calmly as he leaned in, 'is just because you need someone to put you in your place?'

'Maybe,' you smirked and eyed him up and down, 'maybe I'm just testing you.'

'Oh, are you?' he lowered his voice.

'Yeah, maybe I just want to see what happens when you finally snap,' you added fuel to the fire.

'You want to see what happens?' his eyes darkened.

'I dare you to show me,' you almost purred and bit down on your lip as you looked up at him.

There was a tension as you stared at each other, the air not just filled with a form of mild hatred, but something way more electrifying. Something heavy, something that would soon explode and cause sparks and fire. The tension was thickening quickly and it was something… deeply sexual, that needed to be released.

'I'll show you,' Sihtric suddenly chuckled darkly, 'sure, I'll show you.'

He took a small step back. Your heart was drumming in your ears and you felt your cheeks were all burned up, but that was nothing compared to the feeling you experienced when the realtor suddenly took your hand and spun you around. He bent you over the granite counter and trapped you, his muscular body pressing up behind you while you felt the cool countertop against your cheek.

'Are you sure you don't like granite?' Sihtric asked and leaned in, his voice warm in your ear as his breath hot tickled your skin. He slid his hand up the back of your neck and wrapped around it when you didn't respond, and he brought your face up to the cupboards above you. 'What about the modern cabinet handles?' he rasped in your ear as he kept his body pushed up against yours, 'you got a problem with those maybe? Is it not fancy enough for you?'

You half moaned at his roughness and only chuckled in reply. Because you got him all riled up, exactly how you wanted it. And he was quick to catch on your sudden motive. Sihtric gave you one firm slap on your ass and then spun you back to face him. He lifted you up on the counter, spreading your legs swiftly and he shoved one hand under your short skirt, grabbing your thigh, while his other wrapped around your throat. He pulled you closer to him, and you instinctively hooked your legs around his waist, feeling his hard cock pressed up against your soaked panties as your skirt was already pushed up. You moaned at the friction and began to grind your hips against him, desperate for the good fuck you knew he would be. The sound of his ragged breath in your ear, while he enjoyed the way you were grinding up against him, drove you mad and lusting for more.

Sihtric then grabbed your chin and pushed you to look up, at the kitchen ceiling, and he hissed in your ear, 'No complaints about the ceiling, miss Bitch?'

'The ceiling,' you breathed as you smiled and lied, 'is too fucking low.'

He momentarily tightened his grip on your thigh, leaving a pleasantly burning mark, and he then pulled you off the counter. 'Then maybe,' he snarled and pushed you down to your knees, 'you should look at it from a different angle.'

You grinned as you looked up at him, and you bit down on your lip as you ran your hands up his sweatpants, over his muscular thighs, and you chuckled when you palmed his arousal and heard him groan lightly.

'Maybe you're right,' you smiled devilishly and lifted your top up, revealing your tits to him, 'the place does look bigger from this angle, don't you think?' You curled your fingers around the waistband of his sweatpants, lowering them slowly, then doing the same with his boxers, until his hard cock sprung out in front of you. 'And you know,' you began to work him slowly with your hands, 'I only like really…,' you purred, 'really…,' you brought your lipstick painted lips to his leaking tip, 'really big things.'

You enveloped his cock with your lips before Sihtric could even properly respond, and he threw his head back with a grunt while he grabbed onto the granite counter behind him.

'Fuck,' he hissed through his teeth, and a guttural moan slipped from his mouth when you took his length all in the warm wetness of your mouth, 'finally found a way to shut you up, huh?' he laughed darkly as he looked down at you.

You gazed up at him as you enjoyed sucking him off, giving probably the sloppiest head you had ever given in your life, and you moaned when he twitched in your mouth. 

He grabbed your hair with one hand, controlling your pace steadily. 'You do this to all your realtors?' he husked.

You pulled away from him, strings of saliva and pre-cum dripping down your lipstick smudged lips and chin, and you smiled cheekily at him.

'Only the realtors who have really big cocks,' you giggled, 'turns out you are the first.'

That answer was satisfying enough for Sihtric, and he smoothly pushed himself inside your mouth again, steadily using you and fucking your face until he almost came. He pulled out before he climaxed and helped you up on your feet, only to bend you over the counter again. He shoved your skirt up and pulled down your dripping wet panties, and he pushed your legs apart with his knee. He sheathed deep inside you with ease, but you still gasped at the way he stretched and filled you up. And before you knew it you clawed at the granite countertop while your realtor fucked you relentlessly from behind. He thrusted hard and deep inside you, causing you to moan loudly for him, just as he liked it, but he stopped and pulled out moments before you could finish, leaving you a whining and begging mess.

'We weren't done with the viewing yet,' Sihtric hissed in your ear.

He spanked your ass once firmly, to which you gasped with a moan, and he then pulled up his sweatpants. He took your hand and dragged you with him up the black marble stairs, to the second floor. Your legs were shaky, and you struggled to stay up on your high heels, but you made it to one of the bedrooms where Sihtric pushed you on the bed.

'Master bedroom,' Sihtric said as he pulled his sweatpants down again and joined you on the bed, 'three large double-pane windows,' he continued and grabbed your ankle, 'wooden floors with heating,' he pulled you towards him, 'and raised fucking ceilings with smartphone controlled led lights,' he added before he pushed himself back inside you again, 'comes with an ensuite bathroom too.'

Sihtric continued where he had left off in the kitchen, fucking you relentlessly but being able to watch your face now as he did, which made him only go harder on you.

'Oh, god!' you moaned and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

'What?' he chuckled, his face buried in your neck while he kept your legs hooked around his waist, 'and fucking complaints about this room?'

'N-no,' you babbled, eyes rolling back as he continuously hitted the right spot, 'it's… it's p-perfect.'

You moaned in his ear whenever you weren't grazing it with your teeth, earning a heavy grunt from the savage looking man each time he heard the pretty sounds you made for him, while he took you on the queen sized bed in the massive bedroom.

'Good,' Sihtric then said and stopped his movements, to which you protested again. 'No, no,' he chuckled and hushed you, slowly dragging his length out, 'no, I won't give you what you want just when you want it. The world doesn't revolve around you,' he whispered in your ear, slowly pushing himself back inside you, 'but it seems no one ever told you that. Or maybe someone did,' he murmured and bit your ear teasingly as he fucked you painstakingly slow, 'and you just didn't listen, because you think you know it all. And you know what needs to be done?' he leaned back and grabbed your face, looking deep in your dazed and teared up eyes.

'Please,' you begged, hands grabbing and tugging at his shirt, 'please, don't stop, I'm so fucking close.'

'Shh now, you know what needs to be done to pretty little brats like you?' he asked as he traced your lips with his thumb, smiling, 'they need to be fucked so good to the point they can't think for themselves anymore, because that's all they really need, right? That's all you really need, isn't it?' he brushed his lips against yours, slowly thrusting into you, 'being fucked back into place, being reminded that you can't always get what you want when you want it. Being reminded that nothing and no one is perfect,' he stopped as he was deep inside you, and whispered, 'nothing is perfect, princess… Except for this house you'll be buying today.'

And with those words he left you on the edge again, as he pulled out and adjusted his clothing once more. You were already too dumbed down, you could only agree with him while he helped you up from the bed. He pulled your skirt down over your bare ass and then led you down the stairs again. He walked you down carefully, as you wobbled on your high heels, but he was nonetheless impressed that you still hadn't taken those off.

'You didn't lie when you said you could do a lot in those heels, huh?' Sihtric said with a sly smile.

'You'd be surprised,' you giggled, feeling a little lightheaded.

You followed him through the massive house as he took you into the backyard, informing you the yard had a dining area and lounge area. And he pulled you with him to the lounge space, which was next to the large pool.

'Is that big enough for you?' Sihtric asked as he sat down on one of the comfortable chairs, 'the pool I mean, not my cock,' he smirked.

'Yes,' you almost whispered as you looked around, barely grasping the size of it, 'it's… it's good.'

Sihtric hummed in approval, and when you turned around to face him, he had already taken off his sweatpants and boxers again. AndtThis time he stripped himself entirely, taking off his shirt too, which left you speechless as you took in the sight of his godly shaped body in the hot sun.

'God,' you gasped, 'you… you're so fucking hot.' 

Sihtric smiled satisfied at that confession, returning the compliment even. But you didn't have much time to gape at him, because he took your hand and pulled you towards him, turning you around to face the pool again.

'Now,' he said and lowered you down on his cock again as he sat back in the chair, 'I need you to take it all in,' he groaned and slowly began to fuck up into you, his hands holding your legs up by the back of your knees, 'and by the time I'm finally done with you, I'll want an answer.'

You moaned when he picked up his pace, your head falling back on his broad shoulder while his hot and ragged breaths warmed your neck with each grunt and moan he let out. Sihtric would've loved to keep this going for hours, but he knew he was running out of time and had to return to the office soon. So he didn't go slow on you anymore, like he had done in the bedroom. Instead he fucked you hard and deep again, like in the kitchen, and he didn't stop until he felt you tighten around his cock as you released, and he spilled his seed deep inside you as you both moaned heavily. 

And luckily for you, the property consisted of so many acres that no neighbour nearby could possibly hear what happened that afternoon, next to the pool.

'So,' Sihtric said as he handed you a glass of water, then sat down next to you on the lounge set and threw some papers on the table, 'have you made up your mind?'

'I have,' you smiled at him, your hair just as messy and wild as his.

'I need to hear it,' he smirked and pushed the paperwork your way.

'The place is perfect,' you said, 'but you already knew that. So, yes, I'm buying.'

'Good,' he smiled and clicked his pen before handing it to you, 'then please sign here on the dotted line.'

You signed and sealed the deal with a rather heated kiss, after which Sihtric handed you the keys to the property right away, before he said he had to run because he was late for meeting his colleagues in the office for their weekly debrief. You watched him speed off in his fancy car, and only when you walked back inside your brand new house did you see how recklessly the realtor had been with your expensive purse, as you found it shoved away under some ugly looking table.

'Fucking savage,' you muttered, but couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips while you still felt him inside you, long after you had finished.

'There's no way,' Finan said with a scoff.

The Irishman and Uhtred stared with disbelief at the signed paperwork Sihtric had thrown on the table.

'Told you I'd sell her a house,' Sihtric flashed a cocky grin, 'and I did.'

'But how?' Uhtred asked.

'Sometimes you just have to go the extra mile,' Sihtric shrugged.

'I don't know what you did,' Finan chuckled, 'but congratulations.'

'I don't care what he did,' Uhtred said, 'at least we never have to see her again.'

'Well,' Sihtric laughed at that, 'I wouldn't be so sure about that.'

'What?' Finan asked, 'why?'

'I think I'll be hearing from her again soon,' was all Sihtric said, leaving the men to guess what exactly had happened that afternoon.

But Sihtric was right. Because you called the number that was included in his emails that same evening, and Sihtric was more than happy to meet you outside of business hours from that day on, now that he knew how to handle you and actually had grown fond of you. The same way you weren't able to get him out of your mind anymore either, nor out of your new home after a few weeks.

@mrsarnasdelicious @neonhairspray @sihtricsafin @errruvande @penumbrie @lexeirikrleif @diiickbrainn @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @bubblyabs @dixie-elocin @alexagirlie @stupiddarkkside @urmomsgirlfriend1 @gemini-mama @foxyanon @man-i-be-that-pretty-motherfuckr @thenameswinter99 @m-a-s-h-k-a @superblyzanynight @hernakedmuse @ewanmitchellfanatic @lady-targaryens-world @cosmosnkaz @stronger-than-steel @cheesesandwichsanto

[hopstitchstell]

Okay so I'm not normally someone to get into things like this but I believe this post is missing nuance. Don't get me wrong, I think certain statements in SG's post could have been expanded upon, but there is so much more to this discussion. Of course I believe that VAs should be protected but the amount of people who have jumped the gun before fully researching the situation is insane. Having read through comments on both sides and as much of the legal stuff my brain could understand, I believe that there just isn't much of a cut and dry solution right now.

I personally think that there could have been a better way for this to be handled but what's done is done and all that can be asked is that people slow down and take everything from both sides with a grain of salt.

This is nothing against OP because I understand wanting change and support for those who have worked on projects you love, and I understand being upset when things like this happen, but please everyone just breathe for a moment. I love Hades and want nothing but the best from this situation, but jumping to conclusions isn't it.

Thank you.

(new version of this in my pinned, pls rb that one thnx)

Hi. I love Hades and Hades 2 as much as everyone else but we NEED to make some noise because Supergiant is refusing to sign contracts with fair pay and anti-AI clauses. And they are straight up recasting VAs to punish VAs who are striking (sag-aftra has been striking for 7 months).

We really need to make noise here because this mistreatment will continue if we don't.

I'm providing a link for the company contact page in the replies. Please send them a comment on their contact page and encourage others to do so. Maybe even leave a steam review about it, idk.

[macsimagines]

I love your scenarios and hcs, I'm especially obsessed with the ones where the yanderes experience intense regret for (parts of) what they've done, like the cheating hcs for Kisaki and Ran or that excellent one of Mikey with an insecure darling who tries to leave him. Ough, the anguish, the regret, it's everything. So can I ask for maybe some headcanons for yandere Rindou, Inui, and Mitsuya who have achieved their dreams of being with their darlings but it's not all they made it out to be - one way or another, they've broken their darlings, and now they find that they don't like it at all. Thank you so much!

I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY

WARNINGS: MINORS DNI, PHYSICAL ABUSE, MURDER, SUICIDE, KIDNAPPING, AND POSESSIVE BEHAVIOR

Rindou Haitani

He regretted it the moment he brought you back to his place. Thankfully his brother and him shared the pent house suite of a large luxury building and had plenty of room and privacy. Still, watching you throw things at him and cry about how much you hate him is basically torture.

At first when you quieted down and stopped with all the dramatics he was relieved. Maybe you were starting to get used to your environment?

No you were plotting an escape attempt and lulling him into a false sense of security. And you try again. And again. And Again. And fucking again. Until finally he took his brother's advice...

"I don't want to do this," He whispered in your ear as his grip on your limbs tightened, "It's just... I have to keep you from leaving..."

SNAP! Goes your legs. Don't worry he'll feed you and help you do everything you need to do. He'll even help with physical therapy! When he decides he can trust you enough to not run.

You're quieter now. Sure, you flinch any time his hands get near you and you're suddenly a shaking mess whenever he walks in the room. It's just nerves though. You'll get better, right?

Ran has to come over to help keep him together. It's honestly a disturbing sight to behold. Watching Rindou brush his S/O's frail hair, helping her get dressed and feed her. It's like he's playing with a doll...

"It's ok, baby. You're just... sick. That's all. You're just sick and I'm going to make you better again."

Inui Seishu

You're a childhood friend he's adored ever since you moved in next door. After the fire though, you stayed in touch. Or at least you tried. You called, you wrote letters you even tried going through Koko, but he just kept you at distance.

Years passed, he fell in with a bad crowd and you tried to move on. But you never really forgot your friend... Which is why when you ran into him, gang uniform and all you just smiled and tried to talk to him like he was the same kid you grew up with.

And Inui feels everything he felt for you and tried to push down rushing back up. You're so warm and kind. He wants that for himself. No he needs it.

Which is why when he's dragging you back to his place and locking you chain and all to his bed he's sure you'll understand. Inui has needed you so badly, and he's been so alone and suffering. You'll make it better though right?

But it was like the very air around you was poison. He's watching you slowly start to fade and wither. Your complexion is terrible, you won't take a brush to your hair, getting you to fucking eat is a fight.

It slowly starts to drive him insane. What happened to the woman that danced all night with him? Where is his love that would laugh and smile at him? When was the last time he actually heard your voice?

Inui is convinced you're some kind of imposter. You couldn't possibly be the same girl he loved all these years.

With rough hands wrapping around a delicate neck and squeezing so tightly he whispers; "I don't need a fucking fake to love."

Mitsuya Takashi

OOF. Taking you was a challenge. It was only because you refused to marry him... "I've got my whole life ahead of me. You're just starting out on your career. Now just isn't a good time." But Mitsuya wasn't going to wait a second longer to be with you forever.

He knew you'd fight him, but you're not strong as he is. And honestly, your escape attempts are pretty much thwarted every time. He's smarter than you.

Its... Impossible to get away from him... And eventually you loose all hope. But it's ok. You'll hang in there. When he finds you, limp and dangling from the ceiling fan he doesn't believe that you're gone.

When you left you took whatever sanity he had left. Because he keeps you. Your corpse. He's crafty and resourceful so stuffing and embalming you is easy work. And he makes sure his favorite doll is only dressed in his finest works.

"How about this, darling? I think the pastels go lovely with your new complexion. Don't worry about your stitching either. I'll make sure you don't break apart again."

[batpersik-art]

how are we feeling fronnie nation

[vaguely-concerned]

the strength it must have taken for illario to not immediately go full 'lmao since when have you even had a kiss hello lucanis' sibling violence mode during the café talk. inspirational. rook and lucanis really were doing all that right in front of his salad huh

[anghraine]

#op this is amazing#if you follow me you better vote in this i wanna see what people choose#don't miss out on the stuff under “keep reading”#THE THOROUGHNESS#i can't even#this is like a thesis in spirk#and it's not even everything#special mention to them also staring at each other for a completely unnecessary amount of time in the alternative factor#+ “it give me emotional security”/spock literally smiling and blushing#��when I feel friendship for you i am ashamed”/circling each other like animals while jim begs him to help him save the ship#“i need him”#“i have a responsibility to this ship. to the man on the bridge. i am what i am leila”#GAY#THEY MAKE ME INSANE#also giggling @ the last option just being “amok time”#the entire episode#accurate (via @spirk-trek)

Thank you very much!! I totally used your blog to find the screenshots to link to for the turbolift porn scene, so I'm doubly flattered :D

Also I felt deeply oppressed by being limited to 12 options and spent a good week deciding on which I absolutely had to include. So I had a separate draft explaining the "holy shit, holy shit" of several more I didn't include >_>

Copy-pasting the honorable mentions just for shits and giggles:

— "The Naked Time" (S1) - other people's inhibitions dropping for space infection reasons makes them silly. Spock without inhibitions is just absolutely miserable and tormented for various reasons, but his devastated shame just keeps deepening until we get:

Jim, when I feel friendship for you, I'm ashamed. [...] Understand, Jim. I've spent a whole lifetime learning to hide my feelings.

Spock always has "repressed gay angst given humanoid form" vibes, but damn, it's barely metaphorical here, and specifically tied to his feelings for Kirk? Wow.

— "The Corbomite Maneuver" (S1): the last to be removed because it was so difficult. I only dropped it because while it's "lmao you remember you're coworkers on the bridge surrounded by other coworkers, right?" it's not quite as unhinged as "if 430 people have to die to try saving Jim, them's the breaks" etc.

SPOCK: Has it occurred to you that there's a certain inefficiency in constantly questioning me on things you've already made up your mind about? KIRK: It gives me emotional security :)

— "The Galileo Seven" (S1) - a broadly meh episode in which the usual background hum of bigotry Spock endures just becomes the episode. Kirk and Spock are separated for most of the episode (Leonard Nimoy apparently disliked the experience specifically because he had to carry the main plot without William Shatner around), but at the very end, they're all reunited on the bridge, and Kirk is charmed and amused by Spock's continuing refusal to admit anything he did was illogical. Kirk gets out of the captain's chair, walks over to Spock, leans on a nearby console, and as the conversation goes on, he puts his arm around the back of Spock's chair and leans in further. Obviously delighted, he says:

Mr. Spock, you're a stubborn man.

Spock replies:

Yes, sir.

— "This Side of Paradise" (S1) - Spock gets deliberately exposed to happy sex pollen by a woman who had a crush on him back in the day. After frolicking while high on the sex pollen, he finds time for this:

SPOCK: You don't understand, Jim, but you'll come around sooner or later. Join us. Please.

And then, once his head is clear:

LEILA: On Earth, you couldn't give anything of yourself. You couldn't even put your arms around me. We couldn't have anything together there. We couldn't have anything together anyplace else. We're happy here. I can't lose you now, Mr. Spock. I can't. SPOCK: I have a responsibility to this ship, to that man on the bridge. I am what I am, Leila, and if there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live in them.

Sometimes he'll just say something like this and afterwards, I'd have to literally go lie down and contemplate my own repressed gay angst I thought I was over because it's so ... damn.

— "The City on the Edge of Forever" (S1) - mostly for the wild interaction between Kirk's best female love interest and Spock:

SPOCK: Interesting. Where would you estimate we belong, Miss Keeler? EDITH: You? At his side, as if you've always been there and always will. [To Kirk] And you? You belong in another place.

Thanks, Edith. Also, the episode marks Kirk's relationship with Edith as different and special via Spock's transparent jealousy, which sure was a choice!

— "Spock's Brain" (S3) - of all things! But while it sucks in many ways, it gives us:

KIRK: Spock, is that you? SPOCK: Captain? Captain Kirk? KIRK: Yes, Spock. Yes. SPOCK: Captain, there is a definite pleasurable experience connected with the hearing of your voice.

— "Is There In Truth No Beauty?" (S3) - when Miranda Jones initially fails to save Spock and Kirk loses his shit (tactically, but he admits afterwards that he thinks he was being truthful):

The other half [of Spock] is human. Far more human than you, apparently … If you don’t reach him soon, he’ll die. But that’s what you want, isn’t it? … You want him to die. What did you do to him on the bridge? Did you make him forget to put the visor over his eyes? … You know your rival, don’t you? You couldn’t keep him from making a mind-link with Kollos, something you couldn’t do yourself! With my words, I’ll make you hear such ugliness as Spock saw when he looked at Kollos with his naked eyes! The ugliness is within you! … Spock saw Kollos, and for that he must die … The smell of hatred, the stench of jealousy permeates you. Why don’t you strangle him while he lies there?

— "Wink of an Eye" (S3) - one of the most chilling cases of a woman pursuing Kirk without even slightly caring about the wildly coercive circumstances (and in this case, creating them). Also, uh:

DEELA: He's trying to communicate with the Vulcan. His species is capable of much affection. RAEL: I have noted that. DEELA: I wonder if they will demonstrate it to us. :)

o_O

So one of the revelations from watching the entirety of TOS is that Kirk and Spock's relationship is not only every bit as homoerotic as rumored and then some—though it is—but that they are also incredibly fucking unhinged about it. So for this week's poll, I wanted to honor this discovery!

(The character limitations don't allow for much detail, and in context these are even more incredible, so I'll add the links/clips/summations beneath the cut!)

1— "The Empath" (Season 3)

Context: the girl of the week, Gem, is a member of a species of mute empaths able to absorb others' injuries through sympathy and generally drawn to positive emotion. Meanwhile, Kirk is tortured by other parties in the episode to test her willingness to take on others' suffering, and he falls into an exhausted unconscious heap on a bench.

Gem starts to head away towards McCoy, but is suddenly arrested by something she senses and turns to look at Spock, who is moving over to sit next to Kirk and watch him sleep. When Spock realizes he's being observed, he turns away and pretends to study data in his tricorder. Gem isn't fooled, however, and walks back over to him, touching Spock's shoulder and staring at him with wonder in her face over this simple feeling whatever his emotion is while delicate music plays in the background. See for yourself:

2— "Shore Leave" (Season 1)

Context: Kirk is fatigued and strained and in physical pain after ... uh, everything (this episode was aired immediately after "The Conscience of the King" and "Balance of Terror," so it's not hard to buy). He tries to stretch out his back and Spock, standing behind Kirk with his hands on the back of the captain's chair, pulls his hands back and asks him if something is wrong. Kirk explains it's just the kink in his back. A pretty female yeoman starts massaging his back (uh) and Kirk welcomes it under the mistaken belief that it's Spock doing it:

"That's it. A little higher, please. Push. Push hard. Dig it in there, Mr.—"

Spock lifts a brow and pointedly steps forward so Kirk can see it's not him, and Kirk immediately orders the yeoman to stop with a meaningful look at Spock.

(Bonus episode points: Spock's smug satisfaction at tricking Kirk into taking shore leave where McCoy failed, and them grasping at each other when they're in danger.)

3— "A Taste of Armageddon" (Season 1)

Context: After Kirk successfully uses a risky gambit to trick two neighboring peoples into making peace rather than continuing to murder millions of people via computers, he explains his thinking:

It was a calculated risk. Still, the Eminians keep a very orderly society, and actual war is a very messy business. A very, very messy business. I had a feeling that they would do anything to avoid it, even talk peace.

When Spock is dubious about acting based on "a feeling," Kirk adds:

Sometimes, Mr. Spock, a feeling is all we humans have to go on.

Spock replies:

Captain, you almost make me believe in luck.

And then Kirk dials it up to:

Why, Mr. Spock, you almost make me believe in miracles.

Then the camera just focuses on Spock visibly trying to process this and the episode ends.

4— "Requiem for Methuselah" (Season 3)

Context: this is one of relatively few episodes in which Kirk actually gets to pursue a woman because he likes her rather than desperate circumstances; as usual with people he cares about, she dies. He's so emotionally drained at this point in the show that, upon returning to the ship, he describes his immortal rival for her love and himself as "A very old and lonely man, and a young and lonely man," mutters that he wishes he could just forget it all, and falls asleep at a table.

Meanwhile, Spock (who has been visibly intense and uncomfortable throughout the whole episode) stays nearby as McCoy enters. Spock gestures at him to stay quiet and McCoy briefly exposits a plot point to Spock, then segues into an unexpectedly vicious, half-smiling monologue about what Kirk's gone through in the episode and how Spock could never understand it:

Considering his opponent's longevity, truly an eternal triangle. You wouldn't understand that, would you, Spock? You see, I feel sorrier for you than I do for him, because you'll never know the things that love can drive a man to. The ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate chances, the glorious failures, the glorious victories. All of these things you'll never know simply because the word love isn't written into your book. Goodnight, Spock.

Spock just endures and politely replies "Goodnight, doctor," but after McCoy leaves, he allows himself to respond. Without so much as a scene break, Spock slowly walks over to the unconscious Kirk, touches his face, and mind-melds with him while he sleeps. And then he wipes Kirk's memory (!!!) of the tragic romance with his rival this girl, murmuring:

Forget.

5— "And the Children Shall Lead" (Season 3)

Context: a simple instance from a weak episode, but also ... damn, it's a lot. A bunch of children under the malign influence of an evil imperialist alien have managed to take over the Enterprise. This isn't the first time something roughly similar has happened, but at this point, Kirk has a full on panic attack as he and Spock leave the bridge and take the turbolift. Kirk clings to Spock as he melts down and Spock unsuccessfully tries to calm him with "Captain," but it only works when he murmurs, "Jim."

Kirk freezes and then immediately calms back down to his usual rational self. Spock is still concerned and Kirk assures him he'll be fine now (and is).

6— "Miri" (Season 1)

McCoy, Janice Rand, Kirk, and Spock are all gathered around trying to figure out the disease of the week, which has infected all of them (though Spock is asymptomatic). Kirk and Spock lock eyes and Spock points out that they can't go back to the ship, including him since he'd be a carrier, and then he adds:

Whatever happens, I can't go back to the ship ... and I do want to go back to the ship, captain.

Kirk smiles slowly and they just stare at each other as if Janice and McCoy had dropped off the face of the planet.

7— "The Tholian Web" (Season 3)

Context: Kirk is trapped in a different phase of space while a local anomaly is gradually driving the crew of the Enterprise to insane rage. At the same time, the hostile Tholians are threatening the Enterprise with the obvious intent of killing them all within short order, and Kirk's disappearance places Spock in command throughout this triple crisis. Spock refuses to order an escape, instead insisting on the Enterprise remaining in place to keep trying to rescue Kirk, homicidal insanity of the crew be damned, even as the Tholians began attacking.

McCoy urges Spock to prioritize the welfare of the Enterprise and its crew above Kirk, telling him they can't afford to stick around and keep trying. Spock refuses and things predictably get worse.

McCoy confronts him about his priorities:

You should've known what could've happened and done everything in your power to safeguard your crew. That is the mark of a starship captain, like Jim.

Plot events lead everyone, including Spock, to believe that Kirk is dead, and as acting commander, Spock also has to lead the memorial service:

as a result of the battle, we must accept the fact that Captain Kirk is no longer alive. [...] I shall not attempt to voice the quality of respect and admiration which Captain Kirk commanded. Each of you must evaluate the loss in the privacy of your own thoughts.

McCoy continues to lash out at him directly afterwards:

He was a hero in every sense of the word, yet his life was sacrificed for nothing. The one thing that would have given his death meaning is the safety of the Enterprise. Now you've made that impossible, Mr. Spock. [...] I really came here to find out why you stayed and fought. [...] You could have assured yourself of a captaincy by leaving the area. But you chose to stay. Why?

Spock coldly replies:

I need not explain my rationale to you or any other member of this crew.

They snap at each other until they find the recording left for both of them by Kirk in the case of his death. It (hilariously) begins:

Bones, Spock, since you are playing this tape, we will assume that I am dead, that the tactical situation is critical, and both of you are locked in mortal combat.

The message is honestly both wise and heartwarming about how they should respect each other and both have important qualities to offer in a crisis. McCoy immediately feels ashamed of how he's been behaving at such a moment, and tells Spock:

Spock, I, er, I'm sorry. It does hurt, doesn't it?

Spock bleakly replies:

What would you have me say, doctor?

8— "Turnabout Intruder" (Season 3)

Context: in the very peculiar series finale, Kirk's autocratic and vengeful ex-girlfriend uses some kind of machine to take control of his body, leaving him trapped in her body. Spock notices almost immediately that "Kirk" is acting out of character and that "Janice" clearly knows something, so he goes to talk to "her" and Kirk tells him everything. Spock thinks it's possible but there's no certain proof, and Kirk urges him to mind-meld with him:

You are closer to the captain than anyone in the universe. You know his thoughts. What does your telepathic mind tell you now?

Spock melds with him and is promptly convinced.

Bonus: Spock tries to help Kirk escape shortly thereafter and holds his wrist/hand for a good twenty seconds.

9— "The Paradise Syndrome" (Season 3)

Context: Kirk becomes a carefree amnesiac stranded on a planet of transplanted Indigenous people (it's as bad as it sounds), but there's a much more well-done subplot around Spock commanding the Enterprise in the meanwhile. He stubbornly risks the ship (again) to try and rescue Kirk, but the attempt disastrously fails, leaving the ship with only impulse power. McCoy says in some frustration:

Well, Spock, you took your calculated risk in your calculated Vulcan way, and you lost. You lost for us, you lost for that planet, and you lost for Jim.

Despite his exasperation, McCoy still tries to get Spock to rest. Spock simply ignores him and orders the ship to head towards the planet Kirk is stranded on, still stubbornly set on rescuing him, even though they have no warp capabilities and have to travel entirely by impulse power. When McCoy protests that it'll take months, Spock replies:

Exactly 59.223 days, doctor.

And there's no clever solution around it, either. They do take nearly two months getting to the planet and Spock spends 58 days of the journey fixated on figuring out the puzzle that will allow them to save Kirk. McCoy tries to get him to eat or sleep, since he's done little of either for over 50 days, but Spock refuses to do anything except prepare for rescuing Kirk:

I'm also aware when we arrive at the planet, we'll have barely four hours to effect rescue. I believe those symbols are the key. [...] I am not hungry, doctor. [...] My physical condition is not important, doctor. That obelisk is.

McCoy eventually threatens to call security to force him away from studying the puzzle and make him lie down, so Spock finally goes to bed. As soon as McCoy is gone and out of earshot, Spock just gets back up and returns to contemplating the puzzle until he has a breakthrough.

Then upon beaming down and finding an injured, still-amnesiac Kirk, Spock mind-melds with him to try and repair his memory.

I am Spock. You are James Kirk. Our minds are moving closer. Closer, closer, closer, James Kirk. Closer. [...] Our minds are one. [...] Spock!

Spock breaks the link and falls back, gasping. When McCoy asks what's wrong, Spock just says:

His mind. He is an extremely dynamic individual.

10— "The Enemy Within" (Season 1)

Context: Kirk has been split into two people, representing each half of his personality: one half is noble, intellectual, and restrained, but cautious and indecisive, while the other is strong and bold, but vicious, selfish, and violent. At this point in the episode, Spock et al don't know about the split, so good!Kirk is oblivious and evil!Kirk's bizarre behavior is being attributed to normal Kirk. McCoy sends Spock to the captain's quarters to find out what's wrong with him.

Spock dutifully goes to Kirk's quarters, where he finds good!Kirk relaxing without a shirt on and promptly realizes he's gay loses the ability to put normal sentences together. It's difficult to overstate or even describe the homoeroticism of this scene, so judge for yourself:

Bonus: after Spock realizes he's dealing with only half of Kirk and has taken up helping him present a good front, he has to keep correcting good!Kirk's weaknesses and tells him that acting like actual Kirk means "You can't afford the luxury of being anything less than perfect."

11— "Errand of Mercy" (Season 1)

Context: Kirk and Spock are trying to pass themselves off as members of a species of ostensibly docile, peaceful people being (ostensibly) colonized by the Klingon Empire. Kirk in particular struggles to keep his head down, and when a Klingon shoves and threatens Spock, Kirk loses his shit and nearly clobbers the Klingon. Spock manages to calm him down and as they walk away, Kirk mutters:

You didn't really think I was going to beat his head in, did you?

Spock replies:

I thought you might.

Kirk says:

You're right.

12— "Amok Time" (Season 2)

We all know about this one, let's be real. It's difficult to even choose a moment—Spock confiding in Kirk about Vulcan mating practices (Kirk: O_O) and his loathing of the prospect, with Kirk protecting his confidentiality ("I haven't heard a word you've said"), Kirk defending his own choice to implode his career and defy Starfleet (without breaking Spock's confidence) to rush Spock to Vulcan ("I owe him my life a dozen times over. Isn't that worth a career? He's my friend"), Spock telling Kirk he'll undoubtedly find pon farr "distasteful" and Kirk responding "Will I?", Spock begging T'Pau not to let T'Pring choose Kirk as her champion ("I will do what I must [in combat], T'Pau, but not with him! ... In the name of my fathers, forbid. Forbid! T'Pau. I plead with thee! I beg!"), Spock's bleak response to T'Pau's "live long and prosper" after his victory ("I shall do neither. I have killed my captain and my friend"), Spock explaining that his pon farr vanished the moment he thought he'd killed Kirk ("When I thought I had killed the captain, I found I had lost all interest in T'Pring"), McCoy trying to get Spock to admit that his relief at Kirk's survival is illogical and Spock blatantly lying that he is just concerned with the loss of an effective captain, to which Kirk simply responds "Yes, Mr. Spock. I understand" while McCoy splutters ...

But honestly, my favorite is the brief moment of unrestrained emotion when Spock discovers Kirk is still alive and he cries "Jim!" as his whole face lights up and he grabs him. It's one of the only times in TOS that he's in his right mind and yet too overwhelmed to hide what he feels, and it's famous for a reason.

[king-spite]

so it seems the poppy war has become my absolute favorite series so ofc i'm losing my mind comparing every scene with my other favorite series (red queen) and making an unfathomable amount of headcanons

[quaranmine]

On Wednesday before I gave my presentation I confessed to a new employee that I was worried it would be too long and she brightly told me her life hack was to just let AI rewrite things for her. She said I should put in all my talking points and ask ChatGPT to give me a five minute exactly presentation. I was like....how is the most polite possible way (since this is a new colleague I shouldn't get off on the wrong foot with) that I can express that I will Not be taking this advice. Ever. I told her that I didn't think we were allowed to use ChatGPT at this job (we most certainly are not, it is a nightmare for any type of protected information) and also that I prefer to write all of my own work. Despite my best efforts the last part of that was still passive aggressive, lol.

Something about being a writer makes it so that it's almost offensive to me for someone to suggest I use AI to do my work instead? Like, the day I reach the point where I let AI write something for me is the day y'all need to be checking me for brain damage because clearly I'm losing it

[majoris]

hi hello im just gonna complain in the tags so don't worry about that hope you're having a nice time a good day cozy soft day to you my friend ✨

[emmameyyer]

"'Reprimand'?" She snorted at the thought, raising an eyebrow before settling herself beside him on the pavement. She couldn't imagine why anyone would give a fuck about someone indulging on a joint or two. Unless... "I mean, this is just weed, right? It's not like, laced with ice or something?" Emma looked concerned as she took it off him, though she needn't have worried, he soon reassured her. "I don't get it then," the blonde winced at the familiar burn in her lungs as she inhaled, shrugging at him. "Who'd be reprimanding you? — Oh, shit. Is it even legal to do this on the streets here?" Emma glanced around them, lowering the joint, now a little paranoid. She didn't really understand the town's politics, worlds apart from the Panem they once knew.

"Oh, duh, sorry. I'm Emma. And you're insanely hot, by the way." Only a few hits of the weed so far and she'd already felt more emboldened. "It's actually a little intimidating," she laughed, eyeing him up. "What's your name?"

Adrian was quick to wave a dismissive hand, grateful to have proven himself wrong. She wasn't here to scold him, she was here to indulge him. His demeanour changed in an instant, influenced by the high settling his anxiety, and he patted the empty space next to himself. "No, excuse me. I thought you were here to reprimand my recreational drug use. My apologies for the mistake," he smiled, holding the spliff out to her. "You know, it's common courtesy to introduce yourself before you share a man's weed. So, what's your name?"

[beevean]

the hallmark of Peak Fiction is shoehorning a very serious conversation about a very serious past conflict in an unrelated scene, in the form of snarky banter played for laughs, so that the writer can pretend they listen to audience feedback, while not needing to fully think of addressing the issue and fully sweeping it under the rug because it would be inconvenient to paint the involved characters as dumbasses/vile. Bonus points if it literally goes nowhere and it can be removed from the scene without affecting the flow of the dialogue.

And if it makes me want to eat my own bones because I feel the urge to beat the involved characters to death with a nailed bat, that's just a plus :)

[multishipper-baby]

Not publishing the ask yet because I want to reply with the playlist but I have to comment on it because

Anon. You just gave the biggest neuron activation.

IT'S 2 AM. BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP WHEN I'M THINKING ABOUT THEM.

[ettadunham]

sometimes i remember the hunger games and how nobody actually paid attention to what was in those books

[talkorsomething]

I have Got to get more transgender