#I'M SENDING IT WE'RE GOING

[candyriku]

Death Spiral: Chapter 1 is up!

Death Spiral - Riku/Sora, Figure Skating AU, Mature Rating, Chapter 1/?

Riku's figure skating career has him on top of the world at the age of nineteen. But after an injury at a competition he was favored to win, his coach gives him an ultimatum: skate in the comparatively less demanding "Pair" category with a partner, or quit the sport altogether. Too bad the partner his coach suggests just so happens to be Sora, his childhood best friend who later became the other half of slightly toxic codependent queer relationship when they were teens. Riku never thought he'd see Sora again, and in some ways it was easier like that. Now, Sora's back in Riku's life, and he can't help but feel all his unresolved emotions coming back to the surface. And, worst of all, there's something else there too. A flicker of hope.

[egophiliac]

was this anyone else's first thought, or

[drdtfuitgumies]

class is NOT going well. and happy birthday min!! (inspired by this meme!)

[punctuation-completionist]

okay, so, i just realized i never said this, but if i ever reblog something from you and you want me to take it down, please do just shoot me an ask explaining which post it is and like. try to make it clear that's what you're getting at (ie, if you just send me "fuck you never reblog my stuff i hope you die" i am not going to understand that inherently as a request and more of as a dick move)

because, genuinely, i don't wanna be reblogging something that you're uncomfortable with and if i ever fail to read the room, it's probably a mistake and i would love for you to tell me that i made one.

[ash-and-starlight]

extremely heterosexual things are happening

[mylittleredgirl]

i'm so charmed by the letter trapper gets back from his wife in "kim"

louise mcintyre is hilarious actually

[nepenthean-sleep]

i see we are now past terfs in the tlt fandom territory and are now into nazis in the tlt fandom territory. what the actual fucking fuck.

there is currently a person in the tlt fandom posting extremely racist and eugenicist "takes" about the series twice an hour (and somehow??? getting a few notes?????) and i am so totally disgusted and offput by this, in combination with how some tlt fans of color have been harassed recently, that i am debating just leaving the fandom entirely.

this is not fucking acceptable. this is not okay.

[ofshivelight]

had a dream last night i was with my rabbi picking out a tallis from a big bin and i woke up so excited for my beit din

[moonlitkissing]

I need a corset, fishnets, a flowing dress and a cute boy between my thighs

[evansboyfriend]

tbh im personally tired of shitty parents and shitty families drama like can one (1) person on this show have normal parents who are normal and nice. yes i had to say normal twice. it needs emphasising.

[b4kuch1n]

IT ARRIVED IT ARRIVED IT ARRIVED

DESPITE EVERYTHING DESPITE MY CHRONICALLY CURSED INTERNATIONAL MAIL PROBLEM I AM STILL THE ZONE RPG

[screechingfromthevoid]

Orym growing his hair out while Dorians gone because he's not really taking care of himself makes for an EXCELLENT gay hair cutting fic

[snippy-tano]

See now I'm having a thought about Medic!reader who is on the tram with them and sees Tech fall. When they all wake up and Hunter ushers everyone to the ship, they stay behind and go looking for Tech and find him alive but seriously injured and unconscious.

They find a small cave and they hide out there until they know it's safe to comm someone to come and get them. Maybe Rex or Echo or Riyo🥺❤️

I just need reader softly taking care of Tech and him waking up like "you were supposed to leave."

And they say "I could never leave you."

Your choice whether the relationship is established or it's just hidden feeling that come out here❤️❤️❤️

Prooooooooooo

Thank you for this. This was incredibly therapeutic. I may have gotten carried away and y’all should let me know if I should continue this as like an actual fic. Because oooooh boy is it tempting.

Anyway, I hope you like it! And I hope this helps you just as much as it helped me lol

WARNING SPOILERS! THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR TBB S2 FINALE! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK :')

Masterlist is here!

Taglist is here!

Tagging: @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life; @marvel-starwars-nerd; @mackstrut; @dissapointingpancake; @ahsokatano-thetogruta; @welcometothepedroverse; @fractiouskat; @mandaloriandin; @bantha-shit; @badbatch-simp24; @katelynnwrites; @s1st3r; @leotatombs; @torchbearerkyle; @rain-on-kamino; @the-navistar-carol; @bombshe77; @arctrooper69; @social-mockingbird; @littlebluebatbrat; @get-wr3ckered; @dangraccoon

————————————————————————————————

Falling

Everything happened so fast, you almost thought it was all a dream. Or rather a nightmare.

One second you were helping provide cover as Tech worked to get the tram moving. The next he had fallen and Wrecker was working to pull him back up aboard the train.

“Don’t you do it, Tech.”

It was the pleading tone in Wrecker’s voice that had you turning from where you had taken cover. You were moving towards the back of the tram before anyone could stop you. You stopped just behind Omega and looked down to see Tech raise his head before raising his blaster.

A pit formed in your stomach as you began to panic.

No no no no no no no no

“When have we ever followed orders.”

Then he fired.

And you screamed, loudly and gutterly.

The tram jerked upright and took off, you stumbled against the wall, blinking slowly. You could hear the batch screaming at each other, but weren’t making out any of what they were saying. You only held onto your trembling hands, feeling like the edges of your vision were darkening rapidly.

You only caught the shout of needing to brace yourself, your instincts numbly forcing you to comply.

Then your vision really did go black.

When you came to, everything in your body ached. Your ribs protested every breath and you knew you were in rough shape. You gingerly lifted your head, seeing yourself surrounded by smoking wreckage.

Omega’s voice had you turning just in time to see her collapse. With a groan of effort, you climbed to your feet, hand pressing against your side. You met eyes with Hunter and he hesitated.

Please Hunter, I have to go back. You practically begged in your mind, hoping he would understand.

It looked like he was going to protest, likely saying that he couldn’t lose anyone else, but you couldn’t let him choose for you. You had to do this.

So you turned and ran as fast as your ribs would let you into the woods. You could hear Wrecker and Echo yell for you, but you didn’t stop. You’re honestly not sure how you managed to move so quickly and for so long, although you figured it was probably the adrenaline.

Eventually you fell to your knees, squeezing your eyes shut as a way of hopefully shutting out the pain. You had bacta patches in your med pack, but you refused to use any. If you found Tech and by some miracle of the Force he was alive, you knew he would need every patch you had.

After your vision cleared, you forced yourself back to your feet and continued walking in the direction of your best guess as to where Tech fell. You weren’t running anymore, but you kept a good pace, knowing that the Empire would be out looking for Tech very soon.

If you found him, you had to move quickly.

Eventually, you found what looked like wreckage from the tram. Your heart began to pound as you began to pick through it, looking for any sign of Tech.

Then you saw it. Armor.

You swallowed your nerves and forced air into your lungs as you stepped over the smoking debris. The running of water nearby and the sound of your own haggard breathing was all you could hear. You knelt beside Tech, hand hesitating. His helmet was gone and he definitely looked like he had fallen from a great distance, but it was hard to tell if he was still alive.

You pressed your fingers against the side of his neck, praying to every god or deity you knew about, begging them that he would be alive. For a few agonizing seconds, you felt nothing.

And then you felt it, the very gentle thump of his heart beat. It was weak, incredibly so, but he was alive. You almost burst into tears right then and there, but you knew the Empire was on their way if not already almost here.

You had to move. Now.

Tech was bigger than you, but you had to move him and fast. You stripped off a few pieces of armor, tossing them closer to the large river that you were near. Maybe the Empire would think he fell into the water and go searching further down the river. It would hopefully buy you both some time. Then you sat him up, placed his arms over your shoulders and stood up.

He was by no means a small man. He may be the “skinniest” in the Batch, but he was still built like a soldier, which meant that he was an incredible deadweight. Your legs shook from the effort, but you managed to hold him steady.

His helmet and goggles were missing, but you didn’t have time to go looking for them. Your sole focus was getting the both of you out of there and to a relatively safe location as fast as you could. Tech had injuries that needed to be tended to immediately. In any normal situation, you wouldn’t have moved him for fear of a neck or back injury. But you didn’t have that option.

After a quick feel of his neck, it didn’t seem like anything was broken, which was good enough for you.

You moved through the clearing, stepping around debris as best you could. Thankfully the ground wasn’t wet or muddy, so the likelihood of footprints being left behind were small. But still, you zigzagged as much as you dared, stepping where there were already indents in the grass in an effort to conceal your path.

You were two klicks away when you heard Imperial ships zoom just above the tree line over you. For one horrifying second you thought they were going to spot you, but they continued on, heading the direction you had just come from. The burning in your ribs became background noise as you tightened your grip on Tech’s arms and began to move faster.

You had been walking for what felt like hours. Every inch of your body was burning with effort and breathing was becoming more difficult. But you somehow kept going. You knew Tech was still hanging on because you could feel his soft puffs of breath against your neck. It was honestly the only thing keeping you going.

The way you carried him was far from ideal. There were many other ways that are better for medic carries in a situation like this, but considering Tech was fully unconscious, the odds of getting him up across your shoulders were small. This was the best you could do in the situation you were presented.

The elevation began to increase and the burning in your legs only intensified. You stumbled once, your heart leaping into your throat. But you managed to keep a hold of Tech and when you could breathe again, you continued walking.

As the light in the sky started to dim, you stumbled across a cave. It was hidden from the air from all the tree cover. You almost didn’t see it from the ground due to the high bushes and brush covering the entrance. It was far from ideal, but once again, it was likely the best you could do.

You only hoped there were no creatures inside who had the same idea you did.

The bushes cut into your pants as you forced your way inside, but those were minor scrapes, you had much more pressing injuries that needed tending to on Tech. You moved further into the cave, hoping to get far enough that when you started a small fire, it wouldn’t be spotted from outside. The cave had a bend and you rounded it, blinking in the darkness. Your eyes quickly adjusted and you could see that the cave continued on to the right, but there was a wall running along the back. It would do well for hiding the two of you.

Your legs shook from overuse as you carefully kneeled, turning Tech so you could gently place him on the ground. For a few seconds, you hunched over, breathing heavily.

Your entire body ached, from both the crash and the effort of carrying so much deadweight as far as you did. Your ribs made every inhale and exhale remarkably painful and you breathed as even as you could to try and lessen the pain.

When you were sure your vision was cleared, you yanked off your medpack and began to pull everything out. You pulled out a small orb and hit it, bathing the corner of the cave in a soft light. You grabbed a small flashlight and leaned over Tech, lifting up his eyelids and flashing the light. His pupils dilated as they should, which was a good sign.

You set the light down and began to search him for injuries. You scanned him and found he had a lot of broken bones, but thankfully no internal bleeding. It was a relief.

You fell into an easy trance, pulling off his armor and placing bacta patches on his worst injuries and splinting where you needed. You very quickly ran out of bacta patches, but still did your best to set everything so the bones would heal properly. When you were truly out of supplies, you covered him up with a shock blanket, placing your jacket underneath his head.

You brushed a hand across his cheek, beyond thankful that he was alive and you had been quick enough to find him.

Your troubles were far from over. You were still trapped on this planet with a severely injured trooper and your own injuries. You couldn’t stay here until you both healed, but neither of you were in any shape to fight your way out right now. You could try to call for help, but there was always a chance of it being intercepted and you both being caught anyways.

You’d have to wait for Tech to wake up to call for help. Hopefully he would be able to think of ideas on how you can get out of your predicament. But for now, you both needed to get some rest.

You wanted to lay down, but you knew once you did that you were not getting up again for a while. So you climbed to your feet and grabbed a small silent alarm you kept in your med pack before heading to the mouth of the cave around the corner. You gathered some wood from just outside the cave and set the alarm before pushing through the brush and fluffing it back up once inside.

The small fire you made didn’t take long to start.

You would have to go out for more wood very soon, but at least for now there would be some warmth for the both of you. You found a spare roll of gauze at the bottom of your pack and got to work pulling off your own armor until you were only covered by one layer of clothing. Painstakingly, you wrapped the gauze around your abdomen.

It wouldn’t do much for the broken bones, but at least you had some support. They were crudely wrapped, but it was the best you could do for now.

When you finished, you eased yourself onto the cold cave floor. Your entire body hurt and was trying to lull you into sleep. But with Tech still unconscious, you knew that someone had to stay awake.

So you started talking.

At first you talked through medical triage. You walked yourself through your training manual that you basically had memorized at this point. Then you talked through a few specific procedures you had learned along the way as a combat medic. Then when you ran out of that, you started to talk about your life. You talked about your home planet, your family, how you grew up, your hopes and dreams then, your hopes and dreams now, how you ended up joining the GAR, your first mission with the Batch and how quickly you’d come to love them like family.

You were just beginning to talk about a holodrama you and Omega were in the process of watching when you heard movement.

You stopped talking and looked over at Tech. He wasn’t awake yet, but he was starting to stir. As quickly as your ribs would allow, you sat up and moved over to where he was laying. You adjusted the blanket covering him and hovered, watching as his eyes slowly flickered open.

His eyes widened and he started to sit up, but you placed your hands on his shoulders and forced him back down.

“It’s okay. You’re safe, relatively speaking. But you have a lot of injuries, so you shouldn’t move.” You said and he blinked, taking a few deep breaths.

“You are correct. I will take your advice and remain from moving.” He replied and you let out a breath, relaxing ever so slightly. You reached forward, pulling the blanket so it more fully covered him.

“You were supposed to leave.” Tech said quietly and you let out a sigh.

You knew he was going to bring it up eventually, you had just hoped it wouldn’t be almost immediately after waking up. It shouldn’t surprise you though, this was Tech you were talking about.

You played with a seam on your sleeve that had torn in the crash. “I could never leave you.”

Silence fell for a moment and you let out a breath. Everything about this mission had gone wrong from the moment you set foot on this planet. More than anything you wished it had played out differently, but that is not what the galaxy had planned for you.

You knew Tech would likely scold you, saying the rest of the Batch’s wellbeing outweighs his own life. You knew that he was likely correct in that thinking. The needs of the many often outweigh the needs of the few.

But with Tech, you tended to throw all that out the window.

You had never admitted it to anyone before, but you’d always had a soft spot for him. It started out harmless enough. When you were assigned to work with the Batch, he was always the one that never really seemed to take care of himself. So as a medic, you took on that responsibility. You did it for all of them really, but Tech seemingly needed it the most.

Very quickly after that, your motives changed from just doing your medic duties to doing it because you cared. Then it shifted again to just plain affection. You had no idea when that grew into a crush, but it eventually did. You never said anything, and you never planned on saying anything. Your lives were all crazy enough as it is that there was no time.

And if today was any indication, it was too dangerous. Anything could happen to anyone.

Tech cleared his throat and you closed your eyes, waiting for him to tell you that you made the wrong choice.

He surprised you by placing his hand over yours.

Your eyes snapped up and you met his gaze. “Thank you. Without you, I shudder to think at what would have come of me.”

You let out a shaky breath, nodding. His hand gave yours a squeeze and made no move to let go. Not that you were complaining.

“How are you feeling? What’s your pain level?” You asked and he thought for a moment.

“I am feeling like I fell off a train.”

“Tech.”

“Apologizes. My pain is manageable. Thank you for providing me aid. Have you treated your injuries?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yes. I have.”

“You shouldn’t lie to me, cyar’ika.”

You averted your eyes as your heart thumped in your chest. “I did what I had to do. Don’t worry about me, my injuries were minor. Now you need to get some rest. The more you sleep, the quicker your injuries will heal.

“I am not tired. I have been unconscious for some time now. You, on the other hand, need to rest as well. I will wake you in a few hours, I promise.” Tech insisted and you tried to formulate an argument, but you also knew if something happened, you would also need to be rested, especially as the one currently in the best health.

He must have sensed your resistance fading because he gave your hand another squeeze. “Get some rest. Please.”

You found yourself nodding before you could say no. Tech seemed pleased with himself, but you were too tired to care. You tried to hide your wince as you sank down to the floor, but it was hard to keep your face passive. Tech didn’t comment on it though, which you appreciated.

“Two hours Tech. Wake me up in two hours.”

His hand found yours again before giving it a squeeze. “I promise.”

You tried to fight your exhaustion, but it all hit you at once. You drifted to sleep with Tech’s warm hand tightly holding yours. You didn’t know what would happpen when you woke up, but Tech was alive and so were you.

And that was enough.

[hallowxiu]

barbatos, diavolo, & solomon: you have to stay away from the house of lamentation for the foreseeable future barbatos, diavolo, & solomon immediately after: so we will be sending you to the house of lamentation-

[marc--chilton]

(mgv) wilson in pre-rut and still working but it being more and more obvious to the ducklings (who are not in tune with his cycle like that freak house is, thanks) because he starts following house around more than usual, sometimes even getting physically closer to him when it's not necessary (and house lets him most of the time too. not all the time though. if he gets especially annoyed he'll snip at him and wilson backs off with his head ducked which is..... atypical pre-rut alpha behavior but also their friendship is atypical so whatever)

it's so bad sometimes they even catch wilson smiling while he pretends not to notice while house steals his wallet so he can empty out the vending machine for his favorite snacks. later when they're alone in house's office, house pulls out a couple bags of wilson's favorites he got while he was raiding the machine and tosses them over. the look on wilson's face is so dopey that house can't help but snicker and tell him to put in his notice of leave for his cycle soon because he is really swimming in it now

[necrotic-nephilim]

for the ask game (i'm so happy you're still doing it!)

in a bit darker version of canon, one of the antikilling batfam members actually kills someone (i'm thinking dick or tim). maybe it's an accident, maybe the're spiraling and reach a breaking point or maybe something happened that irrevocably changed their worldview. how do they feel? do they cover it up? do they continue killing? who knows about it, who helps them cover it up, who joins them? how does bruce, the rest of the family and hero community react if they find out?

for the ask game!

ugh i LOVE when characters are pushed over the edge and have to deal with the consequences of their actions. especially Dick and Tim who are just. both so dedicated to their moral codes and having them shatter. you get both versions bc i have thoughts. we'll start with Tim

there are a lot of routes you can take Tim killing someone. but i specifically would have it happen right after the Titans of Tomorrow and/or Lonely Place of Living arc, where Tim faces an evil older version of himself who's very pro-murder and has led the Titans down this dark path as Batman. because that's what Tim's afraid of becoming. he's afraid of what being Batman would do to him, and he's afraid of whether this future is inevitable or not. so to have Tim in this mindset of hypervigilance of what he's capable of and he kills someone anyway? i'd love to toy with the "is the future inevitable or can we change it" concept. i like the idea Tim's kill is Captain Boomerang, given the death of his dad and all. Tim insists up and down to Bruce that he can handle this mission, it won't be too personal for him, he's fine. and the funny thing is, he feels fine. he's compartmentalizing all his feelings pretty well. so well, in fact, he doesn't realize he's killed Boomerang with his bare hands until it's already done, and there's blood everywhere and Tim has to figure out what to do. he has to cope with the inevitability of the future he's convinced he just set into motion.

he would know, realistically, there's no hiding it. especially not from *Bruce*, who knew Tim was on this mission. someone's going to notice Boomerang is missing sooner or later no matter how well Tim cleans up this crime scene. honestly, i think he'd call Helena. he's close to her, and she's pro-murder, making her the least likely to judge him for it. what he doesn't expect is that when she shows up, she takes the blame for it. she fully looks Batman in the eye and says she murdered the guy and somehow, Bruce buys it. Tim keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. because more than just committing murder, it'd terrify Tim to get *away* with murder. to know it was just that easy, he had to call one person and it all went away. Helena doesn't even seem particularly bothered by taking claim for it, she's killed men for less and she thinks she's helping Tim with this, helping ease his conscious on the whole thing. she even tells Bruce that Tim tried to save Boomerang, that's why Tim is covered in the blood. it makes perfect sense to Bruce he doesn't think about it further. so Tim falls deeper into this spiral of knowing what he's gotten away with. and of course he doesn't open up to Helena about the Titans of Tomorrow stuff, so she has no idea how this could rattle Tim so much. why he doesn't believe her when she promises him this is just a one-off thing for him and she knows he won't do it again.

i think Tim's spiral would just keep going. it's one of those paradoxical things, where he is his own enemy. he's convinced himself he is this thing, so he's becoming it. what could've been just a one-off moment fo weakness with a man who hurt him and he got away with becomes an obsession. Tim can't stop considering how selfish it is, that he gets to kill Boomerang and yet everyone else has to live with the people who hurt them being alive. i think it'd be fun, if Tim turned to Tony Zucco, or someone similar who's hurt a member of the Batfamily. it's not a serious idea, it's a late night thought that plagues Tim. if he knows how he would do it, then he can avoid actually doing it. very "Opeidius trying not to fuck his mom" complex. but the more Tim tortures himself over it, the more he notices how easy this is for him. to plan out how he could murder just about anyone and plot a clean getaway for no one to even know there was foul play. he doesn't act on it. he refuses. but it consumes him. if he's awake, he's thinking about how he'd kill the people who hurt his family, and how easily he could get away with it.

eventually, Tim forces himself into early retirement. it's so sudden, no one expects Tim to just suddenly say he's hanging up the cape. everyone has at some point, gotten cold feet and insisted they were done with the life, but Tim. he really means it. he stops being a vigilante completely, he doesn't even like running comms. he starts to isolate himself just to be sure he won't get to close to someone to want to kill for them. no one can really get through to him and talk to him about what's going on, and it's been enough time since the Boomerang incident that no one, not even Helena, seems to put the pieces together about that being the catalyst to all of this. they want to respect his decision, but something is clearly wrong and no one can figure out what it is. they try to reach out but well. the world keeps turning. there are crises and villain attacks to deal with and eventually, it slips on everyone's mind to check on Tim because they have to save the world again.

in the end, it all comes back to that inevitability. Tim does kill again. who he kills and how he kills them doesn't even matter, and that's the worst part. he knows it doesn't matter because this was a path he set himself down bc he could never avoid it in the first place. he kills and he gets away with it, even when he's not a vigilante. he never would've ended up on this path if he hadn't seen his future self. grandfather paradox and all that. eventually, Bruce does find out. but by then it's too late, and Bruce has no real hard proof, just a suspicion he can't tell anyone else because everyone would just jump to Tim's defense. Tim has Bruce in a corner, and for once. Tim starts to kind of enjoy the game. madness spirals babey.

and of course, the Dick version

i know, with Dick, we all like to talk about that time Dick technically made the Joker's heart stop by beating him so badly. and sure, that's a fun canon moment. but it's the *Joker*, you know. i think Dick accidentally killing someone is far more fun if it's just. some henchmen. some low level villain who would've at best gotten a five year sentence for what the did. you can almost rationalize it, when it's the Joker. but when it's no one? it's just some guy? that's crunchy. that's far worse to handle. Dick wouldn't mean to do, it was the stars aligning for the worst situation. he doesn't pull his punches because he's tired and angry about something unrelated he doesn't even remember. and he just. keeps punching until some random guy is dead underneath him. and there's no bringing him back.

Dick would confess *immediately*. like, he'd firmly believe he needs to face consequences for what he did and it's the only way to rectify the situation. Bruce has taught him everybody deserves justice and Dick is sticking to those guns. he tells Bruce, he tells the Titans, hell, he even tries pretty hard to turn himself in to the police. of course no one will let him though. because it's *Dick*. they know it was an accident. they know Dick would never dream of doing that on purpose and that Dick shouldn't destroy his life for a mistake. and Dick is so torn up that no one will let him face real consequences. everyone tries to tell him stories of the people they failed to save, but to Dick, this is different. this isn't getting there too late and the bomb goes off, this is beating a man with his own fists until he felt the guy's chest cave in and still going anyway. the guilt eats Dick alive.

Dick would have a panic spiral, but very different to Tim's in the above. instead of being terrified and self isolating, Dick forces himself into overdrive. if he can't get anyone to let him face real consequences for what he did, then he has to make up for it. he has to save *every person* he can. he's overworking himself on this desperate need to be better. he knows it's unsustainable and so does everyone else, but Dick won't stop until he literally collapses. because if he had energy to kill someone, then he has to have energy to save someone.

there of course comes a breaking point. Dick stretches himself too thin and i think the culmination of it would be a long talk with Bruce. maybe Bruce opens up about the people he failed to save and they really discuss it all. Dick's guilt, his fear of himself, his anger, all of it. it's probably the closest Dick comes to therapy about all this. i do think. it's fun if some more unsavory people like Slade find out about what Dick did and try to use it as an in to manipulate Dick. pull the whole "you're no better than me, now we both know what you're capable of". and Dick has to fight that. he's stuck between a genuine support system and Slade or someone similar trying to drag him down. bc Dick knows he's not a killer, but deep down that voice inside of him is impossible to silence completely.

though i think Dick comes out stronger at the end of it, he would falter, for just a moment. he has a brief time where he almost gives in, or maybe he starts to give in. he agrees to be Slade's apprentice, unable to cope with his guilt. he's so close to killing again, but it's the light at the end of the tunnel, realizing he could never do this again. it snaps Dick out of it. he's never going to uproot the worst of the guilt from his chest but he's proven it to himself this isn't who he is. he's able to be stable again and it's all a growing moment. that said, it still haunts him. when Jason comes back from the dead, he hears whispers that Dick killed someone, and Jason holds it over his head in fights. villains know about it. maybe it even taints Dick's image, the whispers of how Nightwing beat a guy to death once. sure, he grows from it and all, but it never *quite* leaves him.