#I'M ON MY BULLSHIT TODAY!!
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getting satoru to the point where he's begging real nicely for "mommy's pretty pussy" 😵💫 doesn't matter if you sit on his cock or his face, he just needs it as soon as possible or he might start crying (if he isn't already)
#rambles.#I'M ON MY BULLSHIT TODAY!!#in my selfship i usually see us as switches#but i simply have to feed myself more of the mommy content i (and anyone else who might crave it) need#and at this point i'm contemplating like..... actual mdlb dynamics for us LOLLLL i'm living in my own little crazy snow globe#somebody come shake me around#cw mommy kink
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what's the threshold theory
There was a post about how Tom is the only crew member who isn't really affected by the Borg, and there's a theory that he has so much luck because he saw the past and the future when he crossed the transwarp threshold. He saw the past and the future, all of time and space. There's some subconscious part of him that remembers that experience. In fact, Tom refused to play a part in Chakotay indulging Annorax's temporal incursions, probably because a part of him knew nothing good could come of it.
If we extend that same theory to Janeway, some of her wild luck with time travel and other crack plans starts to make sense. She doesn't verbally hate time travel until after the events of Threshold, since it happens in Time and Again without complaint. Janeway has an uncanny knack for time travel, as evidenced every time she deals with it. She hates time travel, but it might be because part of her knows exactly how to manipulate the timeline. She manages to avoid the "inevitable" temporal explosion in Future's End, saving both Voyager and Braxton. She resets the entire timeline in Year of Hell, and no one else followed her reasoning. She pulled it off flawlessly. In Relativity, she senses the incidents are all related, despite it being just one reading that connects them. By the time she's involved, she has a temporal incursion factor of .0036 and a time travel protocol named after her, even if that may just be Braxton's personal grudge. Then there's Endgame, where she intentionally changes the timeline. Up until this point, she has been dragged into time travel, but for the first time, she jumps in on purpose. How does Admiral Janeway know how to get them home sooner in a way that completely avoids the Temporal Integrity Commission? It's because she has seen all of time, and part of her knows exactly what needs to happen so she can get Voyager home and do it in a way that becomes baked into the prime timeline. Maybe she doesn't consciously remember what happened during her transformation, but the experience lives in her mind somewhere, guiding her decisions.
#every day is threshold day#tldr threshold cemented the time travel shenanigans#we're not counting her disparagement of time travel in relativity i know it's technically before threshold#but they've messed with the timeline so much that her past timeline is also changed.#Time travel is funny because the past is the future the future is the past#so while relativity comes before threshold in the prime timeline her timeline has also been changed in a way that it wasn't before threshol#we could chalk it up to a writing oversight but this is more interesting#not to mention her uncanny luck with the Borg which I think ties in as well#it's part of why her instinct is so strong#also the bio neural gel packs but that's a different theory#listen she's amazing with or without having seen all of time and space but she has seen all of time and that must have affected her somehow#those little salamander babies also have all of the cosmos in their mind#tried to explain as concisely as possible but it is part of my overarching theory#she doesn't second guess herself nearly as much following their jaunt into transwarp#I have more but I'm trying to be brief cause it's written up partially in my drafts somewhere and i have some things i need to do today lol#meta#Star Trek voyager#Kathryn janeway#threshold day#did you expect me thresholdbb to not have a serious threshold theory?#listen I can make anything nonsense and turn anything into a serious theory I was known for this kinda bs in grad school#I wrote a 25 page paper on NOTHING once#I wrote a paper about how corn fields were super gay and it made my professor cry I can spin the bullshit it is one of my skills
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You don't get it, do you?
If you say that Izzy's death was a beautiful conclusion to his arc, that it was kind. You just. You don't fucking get it.
You don't get to say shit like that if you're able-bodied, and then ignore those of us who are disabled, and who liked Izzy, and are now angry and saddened by his death.
Do you think it was, I don't know... A humane way of ending things?
Well. If that's the case then, first of all, I don't want you anywhere near me. Second of all, I want you to sit with yourself and think, but like really think, about why you think it's more humane to kill off a physically disabled queer character rather than, I don't know, let him live out the rest of his life happily, getting more and more accustomed to his disability, overcoming his trauma and enjoying his life to the fullest.
Queerness and disability rarely intersect in media, unlike real life. For a few episodes, Izzy's arc gave so many of us hope. It was a beautiful, dazzling story of a man who's been through unimaginable horrors, who was only just starting to overcome his trauma, finding love, acceptance and community.
Do you know how rare it is to witness a story like that? To see yourself in a character, in a way that you've never felt seen by media before?
Now, can you imagine how much of a slap in the face it was when he died? And a death that, I might add, wasn't necessary for anyone's development, was anticlimactic, cruel, and, perhaps the most importantly, came way too early?
So, you don't get to tell us that we're overreacting after Izzy was killed off. You don't get to do that, because you just don't get it. We're hurting, and for a good reason. Because it's vile, and because if we don't speak up against it, nobody else will do it for us. You can sit in your own little corner, telling yourself that the season finale was good and satisfying, and that you're happy with the way it ended if it's indeed the series finale.
Meanwhile I'll stay here, thinking about how a beloved, queer, disabled character on a beloved queer show was put down with a gun like a horse with a broken leg.
But that was the kind thing to do, wasn't it?
#izzy hands#ofmd critical#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd s2 finale spoilers#disability#disability in media#ableism#ooooh weeee#i woke up and chose violence today lads#>:)#but yeah#i felt that i needed to get this out#because it's only now really hitting me how fucking shaken i am because of all of this#so yeah#i'm not off my bullshit just yet#probably won't be for a WHILE#bleh
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[image description: two screencaps from revolutionary girl utena. in the first, akio is sitting next to touga in his car, saying "my ohtori academy values the independence of its students..." in the second, akio is walking away from the vice principal and guidance counselor with his arm around utena's shoulders, saying "i expect you to offer them guidance that stresses their independence. /end id]
akio ohtori being a fucking liar compilation
#i'm really on my touga utena parallels bullshit today huh.#maybe i should finish up that other post i have in my drafts too#revolutionary girl utena#parallels#m
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hahaha wheee haha
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#continuing to tag ship instead of answering any of the reporters' questions#as you can see. I am still on my Reki Speaks English Pretty Fluently But Can Not Read It For Shit bullshit#and also. teen shenanigans. which can also be grown up shenanigans if ur not a square#man. todays been a Whole thing. how was it really the case that every art supply store I went to ran out of black ink#three! I went to three stores! literally a triangle in the city!#still have some of the devils tar left but I'm not enthusiastic about it#well! that's for future baku to care about and for me to ignore babeyy#tbh this is like. Im just glad I can still scribble a funny comic when it strikes me it's been too long#I don't do that a lot anymore... even tho its such a good measure of like. ur sense of timing#if u can draw a funny comic ur powerful enough to do anything. u can eat the sun u can kick its ass. u can draw a sad comic too#I realized I missed that...#also accidentally sent this from draft without adding tags lol. and tried adding tags on mobile and it spit in my face and called me a bitch#got enough of that. one must never forget one's currently on tumblr#now I sleep. gods. gods do I need a bit of that#have a good night lads. bring a worm onto a rollercoaster. see what happens
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what always gets me is how arthur yells at the miners in annesburg while defending archie downes. specifically, it's the way in which he screams "he's just a goddamn boy"
his outrage & ferocity is so potent that I almost shake during the cut scene. it almost makes me feel as if he's said those exact same words before, in that exact same note of anger.
(perhaps while he was grief stricken & kneeling before two crosses)
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Haurchefant: Sometimes WoL...I think I would give my life just for one of your smiles.
#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#Haurchefant Greystone#if people are noticing a pattern in these quotes today and the next few days........ i'm back on my bridgerton bullshit lmao
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"Why doesn't their side call out the bad behavior they accuse us of??"
Because they've blocked all the crazies on their side and aren't seeing it. Just like you're not seeing all the bullshit on your side because you've blocked all the crazies over there, too.
Also, they ARE calling it out. You just have everyone on the other side blocked, so you aren't seeing the callouts.
Like jesus fucking christ, can we stop generalizing giant portions of fandom based on the behavior of the worst fucking people in them?? Because I promise you, whether you are seeing it or not, there are really fucking shitty people in ALL corners of fandom.
#signed someone who was bullied so badly on anon by certain fans that i privated all my fic and stopped watching the fucking show#my crime? saying i didn't understand the extreme reactions (on either end) to a character i was neutral about#but yeah sure not a single bad egg on your side#911 discourse#i'm so fucking tired y'all#feeling like starting shit today i guess i don't fucking know i am so tired of people acting like shipping is a fucking morality war#based on the shit the worst people on whatever side decide to pull#also#it is astonishing to me that on the 'block and unfollow protect your peace' website#where half the shit we encounter is through a grapevine and not an op#that people seem to expect everyone to do a deepdive on any poster's past decade of posting to find any obscure bullshit takes#before reblogging an inane everyday post#like jesus christ y'all
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look I just think Jocasta Nu should be able to do push-ups with Dooku sitting on her back, I think she's buff as shit under those Ansata robes
#they've definitely tried it#had to stop because one of Dooku's padawans screamed#....probably qui-gon lets be real#unflappable reserve only because he had to go through puberty with Dooku#and him doing shit like attacking shielded battlefronts with old timey sailing vessels#dooku#jocasta nu#I'm on my dooku/jocasta bullshit today I guess
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Reposting this here since it got blocked in the US on youtube! (totally not mad at all)
#helluva boss amv#helluva boss#verosika mayday#stolas#helluva boss stolas#stolitz#my amvs#fucking copyright bullshit aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#also i'm gonna trauma dump in the tags#today my house almost got flooded!#everythings fine but there's mud everywhere#i'm tired but vibin#ghosties favorites
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It feels like getting pulled underwater—the sharp sideways tug, the slight drag of resistance, then falling, falling, till the waves close over his head. But Logan can breathe when he rights himself again, even if the light has a watery filter to it and the voices have a distant echo. // Sometimes Logan gets a glimpse of guys who've been long gone from the teal, clustered at the far end of the bench or sitting in the box across the ice. He heard Jason's voice in the hallway loud and clear, that infectious laugh. And he could have sworn he saw Raffi fucking Torres getting out of a car in the players' lot. Something tells him not to look up the rosters.
Commissioned @impmakesart to make a painting based on the Sharks' Cali Fin hype reel + the flip side by frausorge. Imp was amazing to work with and I could not be more emotional about this piece and so, so pleased with how it turned out!! 🙇🏻♂️🙇🏻♂️ Commission him here. Thank you Imp!
#as i am sure has been very obvious i have been incredibly unwell this year for a variety of reasons#and i read that fic right after my uncle died suddenly and unexpectedly so i was thinking a lot about hospice while i was reading it#and i was going to about 8 million sharkuda games per week to just not be at home bc everything has fallen apart there#(also for a variety of reasons. but there is a lot of intense grief over my stepsister's death involved)#so today having signed a lease on an apartment on the entire other side of the country to be closer to career stuff and#get a fresh start and a hopefully happier and more stable life (even if a huge move and a career change makes me nervous)#while also the first thing said to me is that another family member had passed this morning (expectedly) and a relative#who became very sick recently (unexpectedly) and who due to advanced age does not have a great prognosis#it became a uniquely precious gift to have this completed and sent to me by imp this afternoon.#the fic + the ensuing games of seeing that reel hit a very tender part of me that has dealt with death and instability my entire life#and it is amazing to see an image of logan's similar loss and instability so perfectly realized!!#his troubled face!! the way it feels both underwater and in another world!! the lights all around that could be anything!!#looking up at the indistinct faces of his teammates who could be so so many people at this point but who he misses nonetheless!!#also PLEASE zoom in on the mist - the texturing and color gradients are SO cool. and the reflection on his helmet is so sick#the color scheme in this is freaking amazing and i just love it all so much man!!!#anyway i don't have a concluding thought. i was going to make this into a puzzle (i'm back on my bullshit)#but i will probably get it printed and framed too#if any of u come visit me know. know that your chances of seeing haunted logan couture are non-zero#and he could be ANYWHERE#art#san jose sharks#logan couture
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A Musing Monday 🎐
Today i'm musing about connections and how they are often synonymous with our opportunities, our ability to survive, and our thoughts- therefor changing who we are and who will become. Also coin metaphors 🪙
Last Tuesday out of the blue one of my partners was laid off, he started a new job two days later because he knows people who work at a cabinet mill. 🙏
My family made the most healing ratatouille that we ate off of all weekend because someone I know from work had too many eggplants. 🍆📈
We got our house thanks to the efforts of a friend with a real-estate license. I got the contact info for my current therapist from a girlfriend. I have a song stuck in my head from a child I work with and I pick up catchphrases from people on tv and I know how to do pushups for the 1st time in my life bc an online friend taught me how. 🔥💪
Its fun and frightening to think about- that we are obelisks of pennies created from every person that gave us their two cents 🪙🪙
If every trait, thought, inclination, or idea of yours was a coin- which of your coins are old, passed down through the generations until they were shuffled into your hands? Which are invaluable? Like my dads tendency to accept things (like my gayness and transness and polyness) as long as no one is getting hurt, which I know he got from my grandfather ❤️. Which coins are a burden you dont know how to get rid of? Like my mother's propensity to say "It could be worse, think of__ (children in Africa, Houseless folk, etc)" which has become my tendency to minimize my own experiences and neglect to give myself breaks 🫠. Which coins did you find on the sidewalk and which sit with you in your car? Which are made of metals you're allergic to? Which are tarnished and scratched but still good? Which coins of yours are most valuable to you? 🎐
There are so many times in my life where I felt like I couldn't get a leg up, and the only way I got through was stacking pennies, adding up my connections and the ghosts of connections past to try to escape the pit..
With that in mind I want to take a moment to shout out the change (🥁) that others have gifted me with recently, cuz boy buddy have I needed to stack pennies lately, but have been so blessed to have so many new coins.
Thanks @sableglass, the fire you put into the world ignited action into me. I spent a year lamenting the loss of a job until your 'fuck it we ball' attitude inspired me to get resolved about that 🤽♂️. I got a job offer today. You helped me get here.
Thanks @the-golden-comet , you were one of the first writblr blogs I came across. You shaped my idea of tumblr to be something positive and uplifting during a very hard time for me 🫂. Your stories are so free and wild (🐳💦) and wonderful that they changed my outlook on being a writer and that what im 'allowed' to put in a story is anything but a limiting factor. You taught me that the course of a day can be changed with a simple frog gif and that you dont necessarily need to know someone to know how much they care. 🐸💕
Thanks to @tragedycoded for DMLS and @words-after-midnight for Libaw. Yall write the mentalscape of various conditions so well that im taking better care of myself 🧠🌿. I'm more proud of the work I've put into myself. And i'm becoming proud of the person I could have become but didn't.
Thank you to @lychhiker-writes for being my first homie on tumblr and for letting me vent my various frustrations into your dms 😏😅, and for being a brave and honest alpha reader for 7C.
Thank you @wyked-ao3 and @cowboybrunch and @gioiaalbanoart for being such great cheerleaders for my writing 😭💕 seeing yall connect and feel your feelings in my comments gives me so much hope and happiness and I honesty dont thank yall enough. I finally finished ch8 (no, really, check the doc 👀) and your encouragement helped me really embrace Seeker, who I used to think was too boring, and get that chapter finished 🏁.
There are so many others and I'm sorry for not naming them all 🙏 but if I have read your work, thank you. If I follow you or you follow me, thank you. If we have ever bonked together in a discord chat like two wayward beyblades 💞- *Thank You*
Today, I feel like I'm finally out of the pit, and it's thanks to the random 2 cents and spare change yall have gifted me. Your influence is priceless. 🥰💰
(Still no taglist for Monday posts yet, hmu if you'd like to be on it!)
#just fucking grateful today#i love yall#go hug someone or some shit#writers on tumblr#a musing mondays#writeblr#a musing#bonk me like a beyblade#coin collection#it's my wealth#here I've been thinking I'm only rich in bullshit#art changes the world#people make art#you do the math#many thanks#im finally getting doing better
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Behold! This absolutely incredible drawing of me as a Pokemon gym leader, drawn by my wonderful and incredibly talented friend Fen @salt-and-bramble 💙💙💙
I love it so much as a work of art and as a drawing of me and I'm using it as my profile picture everywhere now.
Fen did a wonderful job of - capturing lots of details that match up with things I actually wear (the heart gems I put on my forehead, my favorite top with the boob window, the galaxy print on my favorite dresses, the color of the glowy wheels on my skates), while also adding so many delightful little things that spark so much delight in my soul (the heart-shaped pupils, a much fancier design on my gloves than I currently have, the poi-pokeballs, a lil bit of embellishment on the cleavage) and. the hair.
Gods, the hair. Y'all have to understand - I've legit never seen a picture or depiction of my hair I've loved anywhere close to how much I love this. I've gotten a lot of compliments on my hair over my life, and despite historically really hating it, lately I've been figuring out ways to get it in a state where I can appreciate it myself, which has been a slow and strange process. But when I first saw this drawing, I felt like I understood for the first time what people are seeing, when they look at my hair and tell me it's beautiful. (When I told Fen this, they said I have the curls of the ocean... ;-; this has stuck in my head, and I think of it when I look at my avatar or my hair.) And the action lines in the rest of the piece really enhance the wave vibes...
it's just so perfect ;-;
#there's more to the story of how this image came to be and why the comment about smarthome bullshit and the other people involved#but - I'll be posting that later#because I've been writing this post in my head for the last several weeks and today it finally came out like this#and the perfect should not be the enemy of the good#and I know I've already said this but#thank you so much Fen#I love this I love you I'm so so so glad you're a part of my life#these last 2 months have been horrible but your support has made them so much more manageable#and this picture was one of the purist and brightest spots in that darkness#and it means the world to me#💙 💙 💙#personal#art#gym leader sona saga
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Wow I'm still sick
#it's been over a week now#I'm behind but have been catching up on linktober- I'm grateful for having a long weekend#but I feel terrible and need to go back to work today#definitely at risk of sinus infections and stuff by now. it's been over a WEEK#bleh. I'm too young for this. weakened immune system chronic disability bullshit#I started taking a sinus medicine and instantly had EXTREMELY vivid nightmares and had to stop#idk what to do man#poking my body like heal please#you better yet girl?#personal
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good news about having something coming later today: buzzing with excitement ! ! ! i'm nearly free ! ! !
bad news about having something coming later today: oh god i'm anxious. i feel ill. i am watching movies to distract myself but i feel so so bad.
#good news: y'all get a teaser later today ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !#bad news: i just spend 2 hours watching a movie that randomly threw an insane bullshit fantasy twist in the last 20 minutes#that might have been foreshadowed by A Single Line#but ultimately just came right the fuck out of nowhere and now i'm feeling frustrated for wasting my time skjdhfgjksdf#people will simply write a semi-grounded scifi suspense horror and then decide in the last 20 minutes “fuck it--it's satan actually”
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it's midnight and i can hear my upstairs neighbors talking. do you know how LOUD you gotta be for that??? I've only ever heard my neighbors voices when they are FIGHTING, like, yelling and screaming. i could report them to the complex since there's a "quiet after 10pm" rule but alas im not a cop. still annoying as hell though.
#genuinely like guys. come on.#like COME ONNNNNN#i worked nights so i get being awake and doing things at midnight but also#you still gotta be considerate?? of others???#its why i try not to be loud even during the day#and ok yeah in not currently trying to sleep. insomnia ftw. but it's the principle right?? there are other neighbors who probably ARE#sigh#sorry im sure ill stop bitching about my neighbors eventually but they're new and I'm frustrated today already#and im unaccustomed to their bullshit right now#shh ac
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