#I'M NOT INSANE TRUST

[dels-bluevoid]

Gachiakuta has so much theory potential, it drives me nuts. My newest one is that Enjin and Kuro have met before and it may be important for Enjin's backstory. Give me some time and I'll write something comprehensive about it

[laragomu]

"i'm a top" "i'm a bottom" okay?? some men are born to... plow fields... some live to be great physicians, others... to be great kings. me? i was born to serve you arthur. and i'm proud of that. and i wouldn't change a thing.

[bumblingbabooshka]

People honestly portray Tuvok as far too "rolling his eyes, reluctantly going along with Janeway's silly little shenanigans" - he's literally so serious about being right there with her on every decision she makes. Janeway's like "I'm going to stay behind if the ship blows up" and Tuvok's like "I'm staying with you." Janeway's like "I'm going to deliver every member of the Equinox crew into the jaws of death via an alien revenge massacre" and Tuvok protests a grand total of one time before being fully on the bridge assisting her. He was the only one with her when she made the decision to honor the caretaker's wishes and save the Ocampa, dooming them all. He was willing to get court marshalled in order to fulfill a wish she couldn't grant by her own hand: Get them home [no matter what happens to me] <- wherein 'me' is Tuvok. This was the same wish that spurred him forward when he had to leave her on that planet and everyone left thought him cold for trying to fulfill it without her when in his mind it was akin to a dying wish, the last thing she'd ever express to him: Get them home [no matter what happens to me.] <- wherein 'me' is Janeway. He told Seven that the golden rule to follow is that the captain is "ALWAYS RIGHT" <- (His ACTUAL words) and when Seven asks if the captain should be followed even if someone KNOWS she's wrong he says "Perhaps." This man is perhaps the most ride or die dude in the universe about Janeway. Despite her labeling him her 'moral compass' he is by NO means impartial or unbiased. He'd defend her to his last breath. He canonically makes detailed psychological observations about her and has for years. He accounts for her luck when calculating the success of certain plans. It's implied in 'Twisted' that Janeway typically listens to Tuvok's suggestions and follows them nearly without fail - to the point that he's surprised and obviously irritated when Chakotay doesn't. Despite this they've been inside one another's quarters so infrequently that Tuvok can remember each instance. They call each other "Captain" and "Mr. Tuvok" even though they've known each other for twenty years. There's something wrong with them.

[demaparbat-hp]

Mutual damage (a WIP)

[warpedpuppeteer]

It's interesting how Buck's love interests are all written in a way that ends because of the reason they meet/happen in the first place and then of course, we have Eddie.

Abby, who changes Buck's view of a healthy relationship but then turns around and ghosts him, making him wait for months on end and letting him realize she's not coming back on his own.

Ali, who meets Buck during a dangerous situation in his line of work and then leaves him for how dangerous his work is.

Taylor, who lashes out at Buck for using her as a fake date and saying she thought she could trust Buck to be a friend who then ends up using him for her career and chose to put his friends in danger.

Natalia, who's there to help him embrace and deal with his temporary death but it leads to their break up because of the constant talk surrounding death when Buck's not comfortable with it.

We can't confirm for Tommy till it ends but it's important to note how he offers to get Buck into his interests like flying and muay thai yet doesn't show effort with Buck's interests like dressing up according to the bachelor party theme despite Buck being stressed about it. And we also have the fact that the entire reason they got together was due to Buck's jealousy for Eddie which he then claims to be was for Tommy. Makes me think they are either going to end because of differing interests OR because of the jealousy issue popping up again.

Funnily enough, every scene above has an Eddie parallel:

Eddie co-parents with Buck and not only does this not stop after a dangerous event but Eddie also has Buck down as a legal guardian (healthy relationship - Abby).

Eddie is in the same dangerous line of work and they have each other's backs. This happens right off the bat too.(dangerous job - Ali).

The Lawsuit era and The Dispatch era - both where they "betray" each other but manage to work through it (betrayal/lie - Taylor).

Eddie doesn't pressure Buck to talk about his temporary death until Buck's ready and is more focused about him living than in his death (death doula - Natalia).

Eddie who has different interests than Buck (poker, basketball and UFC/MMA) but also manages to show interest and actively takes part in whatever Buck comes up with; he suggests their outfit for the themed party AND ends up staying there for Buck even when others leave (different hobbies & showing interest/taking part - Tommy).

Absolutely fascinating when you start noticing that Buck's relationships keep failing for one reason or another and then we have him and Eddie who face the same sort of situations but they still come out of it stronger together.

It's clear that there's a reason Buck is able to overcome anything when it comes to Eddie (that conversation with Maddie about being there for each other even at their worst 👀) and we've already established that everything Eddie looks for in a partner is already something he has found in Buck. So really, all that's left is for them to realize that hey, the one I'm looking for is right in front of me! 🤷🏽

And yes, it's been said to death (hah) but you don't find it son you make it. And Buck and Eddie have already made it.

[mechanicalinfection]

He gets a little quirky at night.

[fashiun-killa]

greta gerwig i love you

this scene is literally the intro to barbie and the 12 dancing princesses but with ken

[iamespecter]

Sorry for being such a poopyhead and letting my negative emotions take ahold of me and control my thought process for nearly 3 days guys anyways self-esteem has been recovered (somewhat) and now I'm just doing a colorblind challenge using Caine to test if I can still paint

(I disabled colors on my screens and therefore CANNOT see any of the colors even in this screenshot, I'm relying purely on values and all I can see are black and whites) (EDIT: Okay, I forgot the exception to this challenge was Caine's eyes because I wanted it to be the same as his original palette just in case this attempt's palette was too unrecognizable.)

I also discovered I like cooking as a hobby during those 3 days of self-reflection. I should stop being terminally online more often

[essektheylyss]

One thing that I feel is really interesting and often forgotten about Essek is that fundamentally, his characterization has been from the start based upon his desperation for external perspectives and connection, which, along with much of his narrative and mechanical positioning, means that he actually has an extraordinary and almost (but not actually, as I'll show) counterintuitive capacity for both growth and trust.

(Buckle in. This is a long one.)

In particular, I would argue, knowing now that many places where the plot touches Ludinus have long been marked for connecting back into the current plot, that he was quite possibly built as a prime candidate for radicalization by the Ruby Vanguard. He felt isolated from his culture, he was desperate for other connection, and he was certainly of the type to believe he was too smart to be drawn into such a thing, given his initial belief that he could control the situation and the fallout. If things had gone any other way, he easily could've been on the other side by now.

As such, he has been hallmarked by being fairly open to suggestion, perhaps for this reason, but the thing about that kind of trait is that it is both how people are radicalized and deradicalized. This is certainly true of Essek, who experienced genuine kindness and quite frankly strangeness from the Nein and was able to move from the isolation the Assembly had engendered to meaningful and genuine connection, largely propelled by his own internal reflection. By the time Nein are aware of his crimes, he's already begun to express regret to an extent and, furthermore, doubt in the Assembly, including explicitly drawing a line against Ludinus, even in a position where he was on his own and probably quite vulnerable.

Similarly, when the Nein reach the Vurmas Outpost some weeks later, he has moved from regret for the position he's ended up carrying a heavy remorse. This makes sense! He's fairly introspective, seems used to spending a lot of time in his own head, and was left with plenty to mull over. It's not some kind of retcon for him to have progressed well past where the Nein left him; it just means he's an active participant in the world who has done his own work in the meantime.

This is another interesting aspect to him. I've talked about this a bit before but I cannot find the post so I'll recap here: antagonists in D&D have significantly more agency than allied NPCs. Antagonists are active forces, against which the party is meant to struggle; allies are meant to support the PCs, which means they tend to be more passive in both their actions and their character growth. Essek was both built as an antagonist, in a position that gives him significant agency, and also was then given significant opportunity to grow specifically to act as a narrative mirror for Caleb's arc. Even when he becomes a more traditional D&D ally, he still retains much of that, though he occupies a supporting role.

I believe that this is especially true because of the nature of Caleb's arc, which I've already written on; the tl;dr of this post is that Caleb is both convinced that he is permanently ruined and also desperate to prove that change is possible. Essek is that proof, because he is simply the character in a position to do so. But this also means that his propensity for introspection and openness is accentuated! He has to do the legwork on his own, for the most part, because that's where he is in the meantime.

But he still ends the campaign necessarily constricted; he is under significant scrutiny, he's at risk from the Assembly, and he goes on the run fairly soon after the story ends. He spends most of the final arc anxious and paranoid, which is valid given the crushing reality of his situation. It would be very easy to extrapolate that seven years into this reality, he would be insular, closed off, and suspicious of strangers, even in spite of the lessons he's learned from the Nein and their long term exposure.

So seeing his openness and lightness now is surprising, but at the same time, given this combination of factors in his position in the narrative over time and his defining traits, it's not by any means unreasonable.

But one thing that I found so delightful is how much trust he exhibits, which is obviously a wild thing to say about Essek in particular, given much of what he learns is both earning and offering trust, which was something he says explicitly in 2x124 that he's never really experienced: "I've never really been trusted and so I did not trust." It makes up much of the progression of his relationship with Caleb, and the trust that he is offered by the Nein in walking off the ship is the impetus he needs to grow.

But I think it's easy to talk about trust when it comes to people who have proven themselves to you or to whom you've ingratiated yourself, and that's really the most we can say about Essek by the time he leaves the Blooming Grove. There is this sense in a lot of discussion of trust (not solely in this fandom) that it is only related to either naivete or love, but there's far more to it. Trust at its best is deliberate—cultivating an openness to the world at large is a great way to combat cynicism and beget connection instead. It allows a person to maintain curiosity and be open to experience, but it can be incredibly difficult to hold onto.

It is clear that the Essek we meet now is a very pointedly and intentionally trusting individual. He trusts Caleb and by extension Caleb's trust in Keyleth, as he shows up and picks up a group of strangers from a foreign military encampment and walks in without issue. He trusts the Hells to follow his lead moving through Zadash and to exhibit enough discretion so as to avoid bringing suspicion upon all of them. He trusts that Astrid will respond well to his entrance, but he also trusts himself and the Hells enough to execute a back-up plan in the case that she doesn't. In the end, he even trusts them enough to give them his name and identity.

He doesn't scan as someone who has spent half a dozen years living like a prey animal, afraid of any shadow he runs across in an alley, withdrawn into himself and an insular family, which would've been an easy route for him to take. He scans as someone who has learned the kind of trust borne of learned confidence and a trained eye for good will and kindness, which are crucial weapons one would need for staving off cynicism in his circumstances—as if he has survived thanks more to connection and kindness than paranoia and isolation. (If we want to be saccharine about it, he scans quite poignantly as a member of the Mighty Nein.)

So it is easy to imagine this trust and openness as a natural progression of his initial search for perspectives external to his own cultural knowledge. Though he makes those first connections with the Assembly to try to vindicate his personal hypotheses, he finds in them exposure to the deepest corruption among Exandrian mortals, which could've—and did, for a time—turned him further down that same dark path.

But it's also this same openness to exposure from the wider world that allows the Nein to influence him for the better, and in spite of the challenges he's certainly faced simply surviving over the past seven years, he seems to have held onto this openness enough to move through the world with self-assurance and a willingness to extend the kinds of trust and good will that he has been shown.

(I would be remiss not to mention that I was reminded about my thoughts on this by this lovely post from sky-scribbles and their use in the tags of 'light' to describe Essek's demeanor this episode, which is really such an apt word for it.)

[jerreeeeeee]

do you think after barry died in phandalin his lich form constituted fast enough to see the rest happen. you think he was close to losing himself upon seeing his wife's nightmare all around him and no sign of her. you think he thought tres horny boys would die for good. you think he heard taako say he wouldn't leave without him

[justsimplypanic]

nobody understands jaskier like joey batey does

we are so fucking lucky

[cromulentreader]

Two fools.

[johanna-swann]

Sometimes I look at Buddie (911) and am utterly astounded at how quickly that friendship escalated. Like. They hated each other for three shifts or so, then they pulled a live grenade out of a man's leg and ended that first week of knowing each other with promising to have each other's back "any day".

Only a couple months later they're at a stage in their friendship where Eddie brings Buck along when he takes his kid to see Santa. Which (idk for sure because I'm German and we don't do that here, but) seems like such a family thing? Something you'd take close family or family friends to go do. Not a work buddy who you've known for 3 months.

Then another half year or so later Eddie has a key to Buck's flat and feels comfortable enough to drop in unannounced and leave Christopher there for the rest of the day (also unannounced). I can only assume Buck has a key to the Diaz home at this point, too. At least I can't think of a reason why Eddie would have a key to Buck's flat but not the other way around. [I also want to emphasise that they both have family and/or friends in LA who they've known for longer than they've known each other. It's not a "well, someone should have a key in case something happens and you're my only option" situation.]

A few episodes later we hear Buck say "this is Eddie's house, I'm not really a guest" - implying that hanging out at the other's home, dropping in without texting first, etc etc is their normal. This is where they're at.

Another few weeks and Buck breaks down screaming and crying in his work dad's arms when he thinks he lost Eddie. Also Eddie changes his will to make Buck Christopher's legal guardian for the eventuality of his untimely death. They haven't known each other for 2 years yet.

There's more after this of course (the movie nights and zoo visits, cooking for each other, saving each other), but really though. It's been only 2 years, less than that even. Insane.

[pisshandkerchief]

just want to say right now as an american: no matter if kamala wins or not we are fucked either way. do not forget this

[murmurmurl]

@tearwolfe I like his new drip. a lot.

[pessu]

now that aai2 is officially released can I talk about simeon saint and simon blackquill in prison. you're a girlfail clown who brought everyone who wronged you to justice by manipulating people and pulling the strings to make them your perfect little dolls but now you're confronted with the fact that the best and only friend you've ever had was unequivocally loyal to you until his death which you orchestrated. and then you meet simon blackquill and since you're a master manipulator you can see behind his façade easily and you know immediately that something is wrong, that this boy only a few yours younger than you couldn't have possibly killed who they say he's killed. and so you sneak around and taunt him but you're desperate to solve this puzzle and in the end you laugh because how can someone so smart love so strongly and be so loyal to someone that he'd go to prison for it. because that's so obviously stupid, you see, it only leads to death and misery.

and you mock him and laugh but in the end you look at his face and what stares back at you, is the only person you've ever loved as much as you've hated. because simon blackquill is loyal to his core and so was knight and now you're forced to live with his ghost right in front of you.