#I'M IN MENTAL ANGUISH
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So I'm writing a fanfic for my post 02 au and I'm wondering has anyone ever just spend multiple weeks teaching yourself the Japanese school system and then double checking each and every character's age and birthdate that you setup for them so that way (despite it being an au, in which you can change things and make your own rules) it can be relatively accurate to real life.
Yeah, me neither. Only an insane person would do that!
#HELP I'VE BEEN AT THIS FOR 6-7 HOURS#I'M IN MENTAL ANGUISH#I can't be the only on right?#My brain has broken multiple times now#I had open google docs samsung notes a calender 2 wikis 3 google tabs and a calculator#fandoms#digimon adventure#digimon adventure 02#digimon post 02 au#digimon#character ages#fanfic madness#fanfic problems#fanfic
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you and Mr. Fell don't ever talk to each other-
-you never say what you're really thinking.
#good omens#good omens 2#good omens spoilers#good omens 2 spoilers#this parallel has been eating me up#i've never made gifs before but i tried my best :')#i'm sure someone else has already done it better and prettier but i wanted to make my own#you cannot comprehend the physical and mental anguish...#...learning how to make gifs has put me through#like i've tried several times in the past and i've always given up#but nooooooooo this show#*this show* inspires me to put myself through a clothes wringer to learn#also go to jail michael sheen i hate your stupid face (affectionate)#go s2#go s2 spoilers#i made this
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Thank you so much @tmkalp for creating that wild west au 🙏 and for being ok with me making my own :D
So here, have Chase being hog-tied to a train track!
First things first(because you KNOW I gotta add a description to every image lol)
I hate that goddamn train. I'm gonna admit I traced the hell out of it and it took me hours??? It came out so ugly brooo
It's WAYY too small but not a single cell in my body is motivated to redraw it
Aight, train rant over
Buddy is supposed to be a western prostitute(the pants were supposed to be non-transparent fading into a transparent tone) because I couldn't think of any other villainess role in a western movie.
Not that I was more creative with Chase 💀
I literally just looked up 'western film female protagonist' and stole ideas off of there
Also yes, Chase is in extreme back pain
Buddy: Well hello there
Chase: *muffled insults*
#cinderella boy#cinderella boy webtoon#Buddy#chase hollow#western au#thanks again tmkalp 🙏🙏🙏#that train caused me mental anguish#let it burn in hell next to Vannessa#Originally Buddy was going to have a gun but I wanted to be done with this already#realy excited for the update tomorrow :DD#heard that it's gonna be GOOD#I might make another western au with both Buddy and Chase as competing saloon girls#imagine: While Chase is in the spotlight Buddy sits at a table in the back brooding#because 1. the attention isn't on him#and 2. because he's probably jealous of all the other men getting Chase's attention lol#he's so pettyyyy#I'm going to draw him getting an ward for pettiness next lol
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Just to say, I have received several RUDE AS HELL emotionally devastating fic requests to the inbox so BRACE YOURSELVES, THE PAIN TRAIN IS ONCE AGAIN LEAVING THE STATION.
@plotdesigner @clumsycopy @niennawept YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID. 🤣🤣🤣
#adar#adar asks#fic requests#I'm gonna get there y'all#ficverse adar#ficverse adar is groaning RN#“MORE pain?!?!? MORE mental anguish???!?? HAVEN'T I SUFFERED ENOUGH?!?!?!?!?
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"it should've just been me instead..."
#knuckle sandwich#my art#hello I haven't posted any knux stuff in almost a year sdfghjk#anyway I'm here to deliver on angst!#protag not wanting to deal with the trauma of killing mystery man in selfdefense#so they're thinking how they'd rather be the one to get killed so they wouldn't have to deal with the mental anguish aftermath of it all
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Luz borrowing Hunter's scroll to call Amity after she sleep spells him because even though Hunter's breathing and she can feel him breathing, "Sleep followed by petrification" was Belos' "Humane" way of putting down Hunter and she's A Little Bit Crazy and Traumatized so she's like "I need someone here who can Fight Me to the death if it seems like I'm going snap and try to petrify him. Amity can you come to my room and spend the night please I need you to protect Hunter from me :(((("
i've had a couple friends with OCD talk about how strongly they see themselves in AU luz & nowhere has the evidence Ever been stronger than in this ask.
luz. baby.
you have OCD.
#amity is like 'he sleeps with you basically every night and you've never petrified him before....?'#and luz is like yeah but i'm thinking about how i could do it. which is functionally the same mentally for me as doing it except 150 times#in a row. with all the associated mental anguish.#amity: ....okay. i'll be there in a few minutes. don't... do anything drastic. okay??#luz: i can wait. i won't hurt him. i promise#amity: i meant to yourself. but okay!#luz being like amity i'm so sorry to ask it of you i know you're not in my guard and don't want to be around me but#nobody else knows i'm evil :((( and amity like where do i even begin. okay. sure. i'll protect hunter.#toh#replies#princess luz au#and who is that other witch#horrible mindscape trauma pals#shitty idiot repression gang#luz noceda#amity blight#hunter toh#ocd
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while i do love the concept of the batfam meeting a de-aged bruce pre-jeremiah, i think i love the concept of them meeting him mid-jeremiah best
#the absolute mental anguish in this orphan would make him prime adoption material if he wasn't literally their dad#g!bruce meets batfam#i guess that's what i'm making the tag be for when i post abt this + related topics then#jeremiah is just a whole 'nother level#rn i'm at the part where the bridges just went down and WOW#yeah all of gotham prolly knows bruce is batman with how he just went out beating up bad guys on rooftops with no mask#no mask no fear no secret identity#bruce right after accepting his fate as the dark knight!!! i love it#i love this boy#gotham!batman#gotham!bruce wayne#gotham tv show#gotham#joker#the joker#jeremiah valeska#jerome valeska#bruce wayne#gotham!bruce#gotham!bruce in regards to the rest of the extended batman universe is what i so wholeheartedly crave atm#stole that tag straight off my last one but i prefer the shorter tag more for typing purposes#gotham tv#gotham tv series#tv: gotham
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me: MY HAIRLINE IS RECEDING OH NO OH FUCK
also me: full time student (worth noting i wrote stupid here at first without realizing), 20-30 hours in customer service every week, teaching myself 3/4 classes, teaching myself advanced algebra with a teacher (basically just a proctor) who shuts down any/all asks for help, juggling college financial woes, navigating dying relationships/people abandoning and/or attacking me bc i don't have time for things i used to anymore, none of my hobbies are making me happy when and if i have time for them,, i have no time for myself, i'm on my second all-nighter this week, i'm perpetually exhausted in a way sleep isn't fixing, my body aches because i'm so tired, and i'm barely able to stay asleep when i do get the chance bc the anxiety wakes me up
my hairline: two hops this time!
#i'm so stressed man#sehtoast rambles#sehtoast vents? fuck if i know#i just feel like i can't get ahead#i used to be able to get all my shit done by friday and have the bulk of the weekend to myself#but that's not doable at all this term#i just had a whole ass mental breakdown over fucking homework#like i'm almost grateful T made it near impossible for me to cry bc like#i was going to have a whole sobbing crying breakdown and at least i only had to feel the mental and physical anguish of it instead#it's 3am and i just made coffee so i can do the rest of my work#luckily the last two are super little in comparison but#i can't keep doing 30 pages of notes with 10 pages of homework and a 40 question 'quiz' for math#on top of making like 7 excel spreadsheets a week#not including the 50 page readings for management plus the 50 questions that follow and the writing assignments#i'm so glad my ids class is easy. dr s is my personal jesus christ for being so gentle with her students#idk i'm just... really not doin well rn#at all#idk if anyone read this far in#if you did ily and appreciate you
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Oh how I wish to shatter myself into 10 pieces so I can create art for all the things fighting for a crumb of attention in my head
#so is the fate of a multi fandom artist who also has 5 relevant oc worlds#I can't draw naruto art when homestuck creepypasta hxh haikyuu and ocs are waiting for their turn#and I can't stick to only one#this is causing me so much mental anguish and on top of that art block#what makes it even worse is that I'm in the middle of exam season#how can I focus of uni assignments when I have Dave Strider and Hidan jumping around my gray matter?#I'm fighting not writing an essay number 876328 on how sectors of otherworldly creatures work in my main story#on the other hand maybe I should make a side blog for my ocs and their world even though no one cares about them
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computer how do i download mutuals on my phone for offline use
#currently i'm in the Middle Of Nowhere#the internet goes out every 5 secs#and i'm fighting The Horrors because i woke up 4am to travel#tried to take a nap but it backfired and ended up conjuring my worst enemy Headac#news flash neighborhood favourite mutual going through mental anguish send him strength in these trying times 🙏#qrevo.txt
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ahhhh I'm so lonely
#hey look your friends are soooo happy they're having a great time but#you can't have what they have because you're too disgusting and no one wants you. we all hate you#i. really wish I could be in a relationship of any kind#almost all my friends are in a relationship of some sorts and it's making me. incredibly jealous that they're able to find#someone who actually wants to be with them...#I've been forcing myself to not think about this as much but when I do it really causes mental anguish for me and I want to cry#i just don't understand why I'll never be able to have what others have. why I'm always a choice farthest away from getting picked#it feels as if the world is rubbing it in too. like and it's like that for every type of#relationship. why is it so fuckijg hard for me to be loved like that. why can't I hold hands or ramble to someone like they can#it feels cruel but it also feels like it's my fault for existing and having wants.
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😭💔
#the problem is that I tend to extrapolate things from the beginning.#I have a serious crush. I would date him if he asked. heck I think I'd marry him.#and then we get to the massive#overwhelming ISSUE:#having kids is genuinely my worst nightmare. I'm not exaggerating in any way. being pregnant and having kids is my worst fear.#so because of that I cannot get married and thus I cannot date and thus#I can't allow myself to be in love with this guy.#which then leads to mental anguish bc I sometimes wonder if God isn't doing something here#but in the end I can't have... any of this. because I'm too utterly averse to having children#and that's kind of the end result of any of it#ugh#why did I have to have this crisis (again) over my morning coffee.... alas
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Vanquish & Aywin for @foxieflower
Bonus:
#vanquish the tiefling#aywin the half elf#vanqwin#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 spoilers#dnd ocs#bg3 ocs#sorry we had to hijack astarions entire being for this#but anyways just HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#on the floor#screaming crying shaking throwing up like!!!!!!!!!#these two make me so mentally unwell and i love it#also this post is very big and i'm sorry but i just didn't feel like optimizing any of the gifs#except for the last one since it was like 15mb after reversing it lol#anyways these two make me experience mental anguish everyday and i love them so much#now i just need larian to fucking fix astarions kiss animation so these two can finally properly kiss#like PLEASE LARIAN I'M ON MY KNEES BEGGING YOU#PLEASE FIX IT#aaaaaaaa anyways i'm just hhhhhhh dead#shout out to dai#we suffer together#handshake emoji#long post
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I'm not going to be tone policed on how I talk about any subject whether it personally affects any of you or not. I am certainly not going to be persuaded to speak more kindly to my oppressors and/or direct political opponents because they are personally affected by the issue I'm talking about.
Some of y'all are letting the female socialization that demands we be kind and considerate at the expense of ourselves (& our social movements) push you right into sugar coating important topics and out of being an effective communicator.
#cutting off any healthy tissue for an aesthetic or mental anguish is mutilation#I'm sorry if that hurts some of y'all's feelings but it's the truth of the matter#whether or not if they are kinder ways to say this is irrelevant#I'm not going to sit here and tell y'all how to talk about any subject so that you don't upset anyone#& I would personally like to stop seeing 50 different variations of the same post telling me what the appropriate way of discussing this is#I'm here to liberate women not coddle you or should you from the criticisms of your actions#we are sisters in arms in a sociopolitical fight not friends.#lily responds#like I was going to keep my mouth shut when you were just discussing that you would like for people not to say this because you are radfems#& want to feel welcomed & comfortable n the spaces you have a fool right to be in regardless if I think it's our job to ensure that comfort#but telling me I can't describe mutilation as it is bc it's hurting the trans ppl who are actively destroying my rights on mult axises?#fuck no lol. I'm not putting in effort work to spare their feelings.#especially when it seems like the most direct blunt way of describing things it's the only way to get through to them#y'all are out of your damn minds lol#ok im done#rant
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So, you may be wondering why I haven't answered the asks to Kittypet Kingdom yet.
College has started yes. I have gotten busy looking for jobs but most important in my free-time whenever I can work on it.
I can't. Physically can not because I love sharing about the first thing to come to my brain than actually work on the project.
I have an inappropriate distribution of my attention span.
I shared so much of Kittypet Kingdom lore, fun facts, and etc that my brain logged it as "complete" and I can not start actually working on it because I already shared about it.
It's basically:
Me: sharing details of my story And its gonna be so good! I can't wait to create it!
Friend: Oh I can't wait to read it!
Also Me: proceeds to in depth explain every single event and character and plot- just the entire fucking story because I was excited
And then!
And then after you've unofficially shared the story, your brain logs it as basically a completed task and continuing to write the goddamn thing just has you like this!
IT'S A GOD DAMN FIGHT WITHIN MYSELF BECAUSE I WANNA BE A FUCKING MYSTERIOUS WRITER BUT, I CAN NOT LEARN WHEN TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND IT'S ACTUALLY GIVING ME PAIN!
I LITERALLY HAD A COMIC ALMOST READY TO BE IN PRODUCTION BUT I SHARED SO MUCH ABOUT IT AND HYPED MYSELF UP AND SHARED THE CHARACTERS THAT I ACTUALLY INTIMIDATED MYSELF OUT OF WORKING ON IT AND IT'S BASICALLY ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO WORK ON IT NOW.
#kittypet kingdom#kit makes text posts#I am almost 100% sure I have diagnosed and untreated adhd because I've been talking to my friends#my friends who have adhd I've been going like#“oh that's relatable” and “I know the pain” and they would ask if i have adhd and I would said no#never been been tested in my life#I'm fighting with my mother to get me tested and treated because I just want this over with and tired of being labeled as lazy and stupid#I am in so much mental pain and anguish#If you wondering why I'm depressed and have anxiety? THIS IS IT#THIS IS WHY I HAVE ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION!#THIS EXACT REASON!
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