#I'M COMING TO GET YOU GUNTER JUST HANG IN THERE!!!!!

[dirtyoldmanhole]

so i'm not like, sleepwalking through conquest, it's fun in a 'turn the brain off' sense after a few annoying work days that only FE gameplay can scratch the itch right? it's also neat catching on characterization i completely skipped over the first conquest run.

so i get past the 'elise needs medicine' chapter listen i might be kind of desperate for grandpa

and OMFG I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THIS PART WHERE ELISE DREAMS ABOUT GUNTER??????? THE WAY I JUST LIT UP LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE????? aaaaaa

so obviously it's a massive hint dangled that his arc, while extremely short in conquest, isn't over yet.

but DAMN do some of these lines hit so different once when you've romanced him properly/gone through the whole rev shebang T_____T

OW

(azura's pause is because she's been talking with him the whole time, in brief stints, but she can't tell corrin because of the curse that'll kill her if she mentions valla.)

corrin's little pause ... oof.

OW

MY FEELS..........................................................................................

t_ttttt

the lonely bit... ;_; man if elise noticed that... just damn.

I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO GET BRAINED BY A 2X4 OF FEELS OKAY

ngl i do love how corrin's lines are written here, even though gunter's ""death""" hasn't come up beforehand, you can hear that pretty vicious sense of trying to bury the grief hardcore, still, and remain poised.

honestly, corrin's one of the better self inserts of the FE series.

;_;

(and then the scene moves on after)

that's actually interesting that elise has a more than the usual interactions with him in conquest, if i remember right? (since there were the few post endgame that i've technically-read-but-never-actually-played-through where she calls him mean LMAO). genuinely thought she'd be too young to remember him well.

[kradeelav]

Hello! I want to learn how to draw content on the more spicy side, but I'm unsure where to start. Do you have any tips/resources for it? I would love to make Corrin/Gunter art and some of my other favorite pairings. Thank you in advance!

on the practical/technical side:

having a solid understanding of anatomy helps, of course - the basic bone structure of course, but how skin, fat, muscle hangs as well. you don't actually need to watch live-action porn to get references (i never have believe it or not), but i do follow a few historical kink/bear magazine archivists online. personally i find that there's more of a variety of beautiful shapes and humans in those old photos, and you generally know it's consensual since they've personally submitted them.

you also can't go wrong with reading other erotic comics ... i say comics vs illustrations since you start to see the pacing of these scenes like any other human interaction and the tools the artists use. when does intimacy turn into foreplay? when does the artist/mangaka zoom in to capture the sensation of the moment? what clever tricks do the artists to capture the climax when the bodies are all pressed together and when finding a good camera angle is tricky? how do they show the heightened feeling with symbols and textures? how is kink power dynamics shown with characters in different positions? do you show faces and the expressions to show the pleasure or not? what comics feel cold and manufactured to you versus ones that capture real eros? why? etc.

on the mental side:

if you're anything like me, you might have a lot of shame to untangle when it comes to harder varieties of erotic art. (i hope not! not everyone does. but it's unfortunately common given the societies we live in.)

it's going to take a while, and it's going to feel really weird at times when you draw something that's uncomfortably intimate or taboo, but that's when you know it's working and you gotta keep pushing through.

you gotta keep drawing.

privately, i have a personal rule that i'll draw anything at least once; if i feel afterwards that it turned out to be a personal squick, i won't go there again, but that guideline has been marvelous to start breaking through the manufactured idea of disgust and also just to experiment with putting myself in other people's shoes about what they find hot. sometimes it's surprising! i've learned a lot.

lastly, on that note - draw what you find deeply intimate. forget about other people. selfshipping? the most niche kinks possible? the kink that feels like the internet can't stand? who gives a shit about them (no taste, the lot of them).

draw the human. the tenderness, the visceral, that overpowering desire for you that almost scares you with how intense it is and that sends your brain alight.

that's going to be timeless.

[redrobin-detective]

You better learn it fast, you better learn it young 'cause someday never comes

Father was coming. Months and months of waiting for him to reach out and, finally, Father was coming home. It wouldn't be to stay, no, he had his own life outside of the ice. As much as Ice Thing who had once been Gunter and before that Orgalorg missed him, they knew father had earned his flesh and freedom back. The crown had been Father's prison but it was Ice Thing's bright new future. Once upon a time, they would have never been satisfied with this; paltry powers and a minor kingdom but Father's influence had shown them the beauty of a simple life.

"Come on everyone, Father and the others will be here any minute and I want this place spotless," Ice Thing announced, clapping their way through the hoard of penguins careful not to jostle them. They were the master now but Ice Thing would always be one of them.

"Wenk," Guntilla said, flapping her fins.

"No, he's just visiting and if we want him to visit again everything needs to be perfect," Ice Thing explained impatiently.

"Wenk, wenk," Goonder noted bitterly.

"Don't talk about him like that, he may look and act different but he's still our father. I expect all of you to be on your best behavior or we'll have no snacks or cuddles tonight and that's a promise," the rest of the penguins wenked in dismay and hastily went back to cleaning the Ice Palace. They were just putting the final touches on the charcuterie board when there was a knock at the door.

"Oh they're here!" Ice Thing exclaimed, "Gonther, Ginty, open the door and let our guests in." They stood in the entryway holding the ice board of snacks when the group shuffled in. Big sister Marceline - elder only in years as Father's child and not in age- and younger brother Finn were there followed by friend Jake. The Candy Princess was absent, Ice Thing was neither surprised or unsurprised given her bad history at this palace. Father was hanging towards the back of the group, looking shyly around the place. He had on an obnoxiously big coat with his hands stuffed under his armpits. He was using the coat more as a shield than out of any desire for warmth.

"Welcome! Welcome!" Ice Thing exclaimed, shoving the ice tray into Jake's hands so they could shake everyone's hands. "I was delighted to get your message; I'm so happy you guys could come. Please stay as long as you like, here have some snacks, have anything you want. The fruit of the Ice Kingdom is yours for the picking!"

"Thank you for having us," Father said quietly. His mouth quirked up into a little smile as some of the penguins waddled up to him and flapped at his knees. "And hello there, how have you all been?"

"Wenk," Gunder elaborated. Father blinked in confusion at the various chirpings. Ice Thing had worried Father would lose his affinity for Penguinese along with, well, everything else. The others would be so disappointed but they'd deal with that particular heartbreak later.

"He says he's better now that you're home," Ice Thing translated before hastily continuing when they saw father's grim expression. "Of course I've explained that this is just a visit." They reinforced to the penguins still mobbing Father. "Father doesn't live here anymore, he has his own home to return to. He's here to collect his things from the Past Room, remember?"

"Father?" Marceline muttered under her breath with a guarded look.

"I mean it makes sense, Simon or wait I guess he was Ice King back then was always babying these guys and calling himself Daddy and stuff sooooo," Jake continued. He opened his jaw wide and ate the entire charcuterie board, ice tray included. "So I guess you don't speak penguin anymore, huh?"

"I guess not," Father said, hands awkwardly hovering over the heads of his penguins, children who had not seen him for months on end and demanded attention. Some begged for forgiveness for whatever kept him away from home. Some screamed at his absence, at his change. Some wept, believing he no longer loved them. Father, ignorant to their chittering, looked up at Ice Thing with poorly disguised anxiety.

"Gunter," Ice Thing said to his second in command. "Please show our guests to the Past Room so they can get stared. Ice boxes are all set for you down there. I'll let Father take what he needs from his bedroom and he'll join you downstairs soon."

"Why the rush? I think we should all go together?" Marceline frowned. They didn't know what she was jealous of when Father clearly favored her best.

"Marcy, come on, let them have some alone time. I think they got some Daddy-Alien Penguin Child stuff to sort through," Finn loudly whispered which everyone heard. Father's tanned cheeks turned an embarrassed red but said nothing. "Alright Gunter 2, lead the way!" He spun around to follow after the penguin and the others followed leaving Ice Thing alone with his father. They'd missed him terribly but now that he was here, they had no idea what to say.

"Your room just as you left it, didn't touch a thing. It's always open to you, if you ever want to come back, for a visit or for longer. The Ice Kingdom will always be your home," Ice Thing explained cheerily as he showed him the path Father undoubtedly knew. Father was silent as he walked quietly behind them.

"The penguins have missed you," so did I, went unsaid. "I'm sure they would love it if stopped by more often, or even just called."

"I didn't mean to abandon them," Father said slowly, carefully. "I will admit I was scared of coming back, afraid that being here would - I don't know - make me turn into him again or something. I didn't forget about them or you, I-I guess I hadn't framed our relationship as you had."

"You hate the Ice King," Ice Thing said, their voice becoming rough and losing it's whimsy as they stood in the entryway of his father's former bedroom. Blue mumus, various colored pencils and cracked ice sculptures were littered on the floor, unmoved since their owner last threw them there. Ice Thing had stood in this doorway many times, intending on tidying up the space but found they could not touch their father's abandoned possessions. Then he really would be gone.

"I don't really hate-"

"You deny all the things he loved in order to separate yourself from him. You stay with sister Marceline and care for brother Finn but we were your children the longest and instead you shun us." Ice Thing stated coldly, staring ahead into the vacant room and not at the familiar imposter beside him.

"The Ice King was silly and kind and full of feelings he could not understand much less control. But he was, more than everything, my beloved father. I understand he was not you and you were not him but you are the only thing that remains of him and so I must either build a relationship with you from broken scraps or accept that he is lost forever." They finally turned to look at the pale, stricken human. "My daddy is gone but I am willing to make due with a father if you are."

"Gunter," Father whispered softly, staring into Ice Thing's crystalline eyes. Father may have changed but his eyes were still pale wizard blue and just as sad. He wordlessly opened his arms and Ice Thing -a king and a god but also a parentless child - shuffled forward into his embrace. He was warm. It felt wrong but also strangely right.

"I'm so sorry," Father took a deep steadying breath. "I don't mean to but somehow I end up leaving the people I love behind. I know it must be strange to see me like this but the man I was... I was so miserable and confused and out of control. It took so long to escape from the crown that I kept away from anything reminding me of my old life. I wanted to be my own person outside of his craziness but by doing so I lost my connection to all the good things I had as Ice King and you all were one of my good things." Father pulled back and looked up at them.

"I'll be better. I'll stop by more often and bring treats and generally be more present. I... Daddy promises," he said awkwardly trying to infuse his old self into the words. But the attempt fell flat into the air, sinking like the dust on his father's old life. Ice Thing appreciated it but they had already made peace with their loss. They had watched Father and Marceline circle each other miserably for centuries. That would not be them.

"Thank you, Father," Ice Thing said, gently squeezing his father's delicate human shoulders. "Please take what you'd like from this room but I'm going to leave for you in case you need it. As I said, the Ice Kingdom was once yours and its lights will always be on for you. And if you ever need to talk, let us say I know what it's like to have your loved one changed and gone before your eyes."

"Yes, I suppose you do," Father muttered mostly to himself. "What did I ever do to deserve such kind children?"

"It was how you raised us," Ice Thing responded. They watched as Father took in the room, running his hands over the dust covered objects like they were ancient artifacts to be studied instead of his own belongings. He looked over at the drums hastily shoved into the corner and tapped a knuckle roughly on one of the cymbals which echoed through the room. "Do you still play?"

"I never learned how to play the drums," Father sighed. "Ice King did that all on his own. I never felt a calling to learn the drums but I guess it suited him. I-I think I remember songs, hours and hours of practice and how to hold a beat but I haven't touched them since I changed back. Not sure I really know how anymore."

"You taught me or rather you talked out loud enough as you learned that I picked up the basics. We could play together sometime, like you and Marceline do. Maybe one day we could play as a family." Ice Thing offered. Father smiled at him, sweet but also sad. 

"I would love to, honestly but I think I need more time before I'm ready to step back into those shoes again. I'm sorry, Gun- Ice Thing, really I am, but right now it's quite difficult to even stand in this room. I need to be Simon again before I can think about being Ice King." Disappointed but not surprised, Ice Thing led Father out of his former room and towards the stairs to the Past Room with the others.

Father was alive but it was different than before. Ice Thing had no hopes that he would ever return to being Ice Thing's beloved if complicated Daddy. It stung, an ache that reached deep into their icy heart. Father would visit and he would laugh with them and maybe, one day, he would even play the drums with them again. But it would never be the same. It was up to all of them to accept this new reality, for all the good and bad that came with it.

"Let's bring some more snacks down, if Finn doesn't have something to distract himself he's going to cause problems trying to get the car working," Ice Thing commented.

"The car?" Father blinked, "just what do I have down there? I can't even remember."

"I guess we'll find out together."

[smileyfacemojisworld]

Credits To @puppiesandnightlock for the idea❤️

THANK YOU SO MUCH @puppiesandnightlock for the Sing 2 Christmas one shot idea(storyline, honestly)

Chapter 1

Buster Moon's POV:

I got out of bed and grudgingly trudged down from my little staircase made of books to open the windows. Bright sunlight blinded me along with an icy chill of.. Wait, is that? I forced my eyes open and squinted, rubbing my eyes ferociously. A gorgeously shaped snowflake landed gracefully on the window plate, as I admired it with awe, I looked down and noticed the rooftops of the houses in the city were aesthetically coated with a thick layer of seemingly fluffy snow. My little mouth dropped in astonishment of the breathtaking sight. It rarely snowed in Calatonia, making it almost a lifetime opportunity to see the city with snow. I was just mindlessly gazing out my window when suddenly the door was kicked open and in came in Porsha, who I recently invited to stay at New Moon theatre. (I'm using New Moon Theatre since we don't know exactly how Majestic looks like, other than the stage.) Porsha rushed frantically to me and gave me a body-crushing hug, while ecstatically squealing, "Merry Christmas Mister Moon! I've invited the everyone to the theatre, Rosita, Norman and all 25 of her kids are coming, oh and don't worry about them, I already went Christmas shopping yesterday, got each and everyone who is coming gifts, ooh guess what I got for Ash, you'll never guess!" My head was spinning, I was clearly dumbfounded, but before I could even mumble a single word in, Porsha started rambling again, "I got her a new guitar case, she's gonna love it, I can already tell! I spent so long trying to decorate it in her style, we two have such different taste, I bought I bunch of stickers from her favourite store to DIY it, and it turned out perfectly, I got Rosita and Norman one of the very best nannies to look after their kids for as long as they like so Rosita won't have to worry and Norman can finally concentrate on work, I'm gonna take the kids to a huge toy store and get them whatever they want, since I don't know all of their likings, Gunter a karaoke system, got Johnny a portable keyboard and sheet music, for Meena I got her new baking stuff and recipes, Miss Crawly loads of new dresses and wigs for her to dress up with, AirPods for Nooshy so she can street dance without having to always lug that bulky radio around, I got Clay a new guitar, since his is, like, 15 years old, Alphonso merchandise for his business and for you I got, oh whoops I almost spilled the surprise!" Porsha covered her mouth with her hand/paw (???) and snickered, "You'll never guess what it is! But don't tell anyone about their gifts, alright?" she warned. I blinked, flustered with all the new information processing through my tiny brain(smol). "Hello?

You there? Come one, we have to decorate the theatre, thank goodness I was reassured by Rosita, who's gonna bring breakfast, we already have so much to do! Now let's go!" Porsha stopped waving her hand in my face and strutted out. I reluctantly followed her out, stretching my arms and yawning groggily, tossing my perfectly pre-planned outfit on, which consisted of my regular snow-white(®) button down shirt, a dark blue suit jacket with matching pants along with a black belt. I lost the bow tie and put on a tie which didn't exactly suit my style, but looked definitely like the explanation of 'Christmas' It was red and green striped, with several, small, Christmas elements around it. I kicked my chocolate brown shoes on and dashed off to find Porsha, who was humping a box of old Christmas decorations, along with a newly, store-bought bag of Christmas decorations, which she willingly offered to get. We emptied the box and bag to find a Christmas tree slightly taller than Porsha, numerous baubles and colourful fairy lights, a glittery golden star, miniature bells that ring a delightfully pleasant tune to hang up on the tree, collectable reindeer, scented candles that smelled pleasingly of peppermint, stockings, decorated wreaths, ornamental angels and fairly expensive snow globes. I lighted up the scented candles and placed them all over the theatre, arranged the ornaments of reindeer, angels and snow globes immaculately and decorated the bottom part of the Christmas tree, while Porsha had to set up the tree, decorate the upper half, hang the fairy lights on and through the ceiling and got the opportunity to position the star. I wiped a drop of perspiration off my sweaty forehead and panted, that was certainly a lot of work, but we got it done just in time! I looked up at Porsha and grinned from ear to ear, thanking her profusely for her help.

Porsha's POV:

Oh, my gosh, today is Christmas! It's the most, wonderful time, of the year! I stayed up all night wrapping all my gifts, I'm exhausted and ecstatic all at the same time! I must say, I think I overdid myself on the presents, but after all, AM earning my own money, now that Buster got me a job here at New Moon Theatre AND I was invited to stay here. I got ready in a blink of an eye, wearing my white cropped top, neon blue puffy jacket, midnight blue ripped jeans and my. ankle length brown uggs. I thought the outfit looked gloomy so I threw on some colourful neon jewellery and stormed off to Buster's room to wake him up. I just noticed the absolute beauty of the snow through his window, it was gorgeous! He and I got ready for the crew's arrival, I seriously can't wait for them to get here! 

I planned out a perfect day! First, I pleased Rosita to get us all our favourite breakfast for each of us, who gave in after one request, she's the best! I regret being so rude to her... 

My favourite breakfast is french toast and a milkshake with extra whipped cream, Buster's is toasted PB&J sandwiches with milk, Miss Crawly's is toast and tea, Ash's is fruit tarts and lemonade, Gunter's is pancakes with fruit, Johnny's is avocado toast with tea (being British don't mind me), Rosita's and Norman's is coffee, the kids all have different tastes, but they like reallyyy sugary stuff, Nooshy's is- hold on I don't think she eats breakfast, does she? 😃🤔 I texted her she sent me:

GirlieOnFire(Porsha): Heyyyyy

IllegallyDancing(nooshy): hiiiiiii what's up

GirlieOnFire: do you eat breakfast?

IllegallyDancing: no course I don't that's for WEaK pEoPIE🤭🥰

GirlieOnFire: well you really should it's not gUd FoR yA🤓👆

IllegallyDancing: yes I eat breakfast

👁️👄👁️

GirlieOnFire: well you should've just SAID SOO🤨

Illegally Dancing: why am I friends with you

GirlieOnFire: I should be asking that, now what do you eat

IllegalyDancing: well I go to any restaurant and see if they have any food leftover in their trash, why?

GirlieOn Fire: ...

IllegallyDancing: what? 🤨

GirlieOnFire: *Venmo $200*

IllegallyDancing:😨

GirlieOnFire: now shoo and go get smth to eat

So I forgot to ask her her preference🤭 Ah well of I'm gonna guess sweet stuff, cuz she told me the first time she went into a diner was went Johnny met her

Continuing, Clay loves TEA

WITH HONEY(yeah totally for sure I asked Ash 🥰) 

So after breakfast, we're gonna walk around caroling and promoting our theatre. I'm gonna surprise Buster with the promoting and his other gift, I managed to convince one of my FAVOURITE FASHION BRAND to sponsor the theatre! I can't wait to see the look on Buster's face when I tell him!

End Of Chapter 1

I’m so sorry, it’s not me best work, I don’t have snow, so I don’t know the experience, please comment some ideas and thoughts, I take criticism very well❤️

If you’re into Jooshy, I highly recommend @puppiesandnightlock ‘s fanfiction, Breakdancing and Romancing, on Fanfiction.Net. This fanfic was the genius story that got me obsessed with fanfics in the first place🤩

[hoperays-song]

Sing 1 Commentary and Review Pt. 3

Welcome back to the madness loves!!! Also, I tried to tone down the commentary so I get further in the movie this time. Is this an elaborate plan to distract me from my fic being with my beta reader? Yes! Am I using it for content? Also yes! Enjoy!

Yes, I am trying to restrain myself more this time, it's hard.

------------------------------------

Guys, guys, guys, here me out here... I think Barry minds.

Also, headcanon I'm not sure I ever mentioned on here before but the reason Barry minds Johnny taking his spot isn't jealousy of being passed over but because he didn't want his honorary nephew to have a larger role in the gang than he already did. He was trying to protect him.

HERE. This is the moment where Marcus confirms they were going to stop stealing after this last heist. They were legit only doing it out of necessity because the needed money.

(aka my debt theory is going strong bwahahaha)

Ok but the way Marcus looks at Stan and Barry when Johnny storms off, just his face of "that's weird right? or is it normal teenage angst? what's going on?" is so funny. He's so lost.

Also, I genuinely believe that Johnny might have been planning on telling his family about the singing here (he comes back much later but seems still really hyped up like he was getting the confidence to do so) but didn't when he was given the role of getaway driver. Even if it was just for one job, it clearly made him feel way less seen as a person and like he was a disappointment for not fitting into the mold of who he thinks his father wants him to be (the queer metaphor is still going hard I see, lovely).

👏 Relationship👏  Counseling👏 

Engineer Rosita My Beloved!!!! <3

This woman definitely has at least two masters degrees in mechanical engineering because the machine she made is something out of Willy Wonka.

So... there either were intake forms where they all listed their talents and Johnny put down a skill he hadn't done since he was little or... Buster legit just asked this teenager to learn an skill that takes years upon years of training in like a month. For some weird reason, i'm leaning towards the latter and Johnny having experience is a coincidence.

Horrified Punk Rocker™️

I completely forgot that Meena wrote out what she was gonna say to Buster on her hand. I love that and I will be including it everywhere.

Also, unrelated, but Buster is on his second felony of the movie right now and we barely are passed the 30 minutes mark. Not to mention the numerous misdemeanors.

And, the workshop where they build their props in apparently on the second floor according to Buster. That seems like you're making more work for yourself with all the moving up and down but, you know, you do you.

Mike puntable moments counter: 19

He really does not think things through does he?

Lance puntable moments counter: 17

Dude, she's your girlfriend, for fucks sake, be supportive!!!! It's not rocket science over here!!!

Johnny making fun of his dad and exaggerating his accent will never not be funny to me. He's acting like a regular teenager, not a gang member, and it's both adorable and hysterical.

Judith has arrived!!! We love characters who are actually just trying to do their jobs here. Like imagine being the bank representative assigned to Buster freaking Moon. You'd be pissed off too.

... Gay. That's the only commentary I can add here. That's very gay.

Gunter, the chaos enabler, Rosita, the chaos handler, and Caspar, the chaos.

You just know as soon as Caspar got home he was begging him mom to let him hang out with the fun dance guy again.

Johnny's over here going through the nine stages of grief about his singing career.

Also, do we know why Johnny was called away this time? Because they weren't planning any heists in between the one we have already seen and the failed one to our knowledge. So, was he actually called back because of something to do with the garage? It would technically be a family business thing then after all.

Ash, I am so sorry. About everything you go through in this movie. So sorry. You get adopted by a crazy guy and an old rockstar by the end of the next movie if it's any comfort (probably not but worth a shot).

Also, their apartment is huge!!! How are they affording that when struggling to find and keep gigs???

Lance puntable moments counter: 27

I am once again reminded that the mob canonically exists here and Mike thought cheating them was a good idea?!?

Mike puntable moments counter: 23

The last moments those poor flowers had. RIP.

The dramatic music that appears whenever she does is honestly amazing. And I love how she just seems to despise Buster on principal here.

But the fact that Eddie's grandmother knows Buster? And a fair bit about his life? Eddie has definitely mentioned him and also Buster went to Eddie's graduation!! That's so sweet, you know he was one of those people who make huge posters of their loved ones faces and their degree.

This, my lovely gentlefolk and assorted cryptids, is what a bad idea looks like!

Ok, we have arrived to the failed heist. Now personally, I would have just pretended to be sick so that Buster would have let me go without worrying about the show. That way my role in the show would be safe while I would also be out of debt, win-win. However, that's clearly not what happened here.

I stand with the fact that this could have been easily avoided but I do not solely blame Johnny here. He's a kid. Kids make mistakes all the time. He just made a mistake. Was it a bigger mistake than a lot of people's? Yes, but it was still a mistake. He is not at fault here.

As for the gang, smart move on their part to immediately surrender. That way they lessened their sentence by not resisting arrest. Also, Marcus looks genuinely worried when he realises Johnny is not there, and I completely understand that. He has no idea where his son is and there's police everywhere, he's bound to be panicked.

Rosita is amazing. I love her, she's so sweet.

Ok, genuinely forgot about Gunter and Rosita's fight at the dress rehearsals.

Also, Mike puntable moments counter: 25

Ok, I feel like we missed a part of this conversation. We jump right to Marcus asking where Johnny was and looking pissed. I can almost guarantee that that conversation did not start like that. Marcus and Johnny are shown to be close, despite their communication issues. He's going to be upset, yes, but he's still gonna be worried about his kid. Marcus definitely asked if Johnny was ok or arrested or sick first.

Also, ouch. This scene hurts. The overall message of familiar rejection for you just trying to be yourself, of who you actually are is not good enough? It makes me sob every single time. This is just insanely painful.

(Yes, this is a central part of Johnny's story being queer coded and as someone who had a similar situation happen when I came out, I'm just saying it's very realistic).

Then the stealing bit afterwards being reference for pushing yourself into who others want you to be to feel love? And Johnny choosing even then it's better if he is his actual true self? Amazing, perfection, true cinema.

This is the emptiest grocery store I've ever seen in my entire life. Seriously. Is anyone other than these two there? I'm guessing a cashier but I don't see one.

Also this security dude is an amazing hype man, just cheering and blasting music.

Buster, stop encouraging kids to commit felonies. I know you're on three now but seriously man???

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND GAVE THIS GREMLIN A BLOWTORCH?!?!?!?! ARE YOU TRYING TO DESTROY SOCIETY???? Also, Meena and Buster were renovating the theatre at the same time as Johnny was practicing with Mrs. Crawly. I completely forgot they were there at the same time?

---------------------------------------

This is taking way longer than I thought but hey, it's time consuming!

Be back in a few (these take a bit to edit sorry)! - <3 Gooseless

[deltas-writing-corner]

Courtship (4): The Gargoyle Graveyard

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland (Malleus x GN!reader)

Author note: Again, thank you all for being patient with me and I apologize for having a very inconsistent writing schedule. I'm going to make it my goal to update on a bi weekly basis instead of leaving you all in silent limbo. Also a reminder I suck at figuring out which warnings to put so if there's something that needs to be forewarned that I failed to disclose please lmk!

Warnings: Mentions of heavy bodily injuries | childhood trauma/neglect | discussions/mentions of discrimination | mentions of virginity/sexual history

Previous chapter | Next Chapter

AO3 version

Clay. Stone. Porcelain. Plaster. Metal. There are even gargoyles carved entirely of wood! Some statues are stand-alone works of art while others are part of a clear collection or series of similar inspiration. They even come in all sorts of shapes and sizes; as small as an apple or a towering height to rival Malleus himself. No matter what, each grotesque has been crafted with the utmost consideration, by well seasoned and knowing hands. Even the ones that have clear defects and cannot serve their intended purpose are free of overabundant ivy, weeds, or dust. There’s a clear degree of love and care the family who makes these statues has for their craft that makes him feel less alone in his interest in an uncherished form of art.

“It should be around here somewhere,” you muse aloud. Ever since he expressed interest in seeing more sculptures made with non-traditional materials, you’ve been keeping your eye out for a particular one that would fulfill his yearning. You eventually find it and eagerly point to it. “There it is!”

Malleus watches as you approach a massive-sized statue covered with a thick and half-wet tarp. He helps you remove the cover, revealing a winged and slightly humanoid canine. There are many more grotesques with a similar design, but what makes this one stand out the most is the material it’s made out of.

“Amazing!” Malleus awes. “I’ve never seen a grotesque of this size made entirely of glass! They’ve even managed to maintain their attention to detail despite such an abnormal material choice.”

“You can even see the inner channel where the water would flow in and redirect out of its mouth,” you notice.

“They even went out of their way to make it functional despite it being unfit for actual installation?” Malleus inquires with disbelief. “Such a shame.”

“If you’re looking to buy anything here, I’m afraid it's a lost cause. One of the first warnings the grandfather gave me is that none of these are for sale.”

“What was his second warning?”

“If we damage anything, even as small as a scratch, he’ll kill us.”

“How charming,” he chuckles. “I cannot blame him. These statues must take weeks to complete. Time is a human’s greatest enemy.”

“For some, sure. But when I went to visit the family and talked to the old man, he was lunging around all this heavy equipment like he was still in his prime,” you recall. “He lives for his craft. If there’s anything humans are at risk of their entire lives, it’s a lack of motivation and reason to live.”

“I suppose that’s true, but the lifespan of humans and the inevitable effects of aging is difficult to live with, especially once it begins to hinder one’s ability to do what one could previously do without issue. ”

“You’re not wrong,” you acknowledge. “But I think I’d rather live a short life with fulfillment than a dull, long-as-shit life.”

To show that he’s entirely on your side, Gunter lets out a guttural bark while his tail rapidly wags and thumps the damp ground, coating the ends of his bushy tail in specs of dirt and dirtied, remnant snow of the north that has managed to stay frozen on the isles warmer south end.

“You’re only agreeing with them because you’ve been promised food,” Malleus chastises. “Don’t think I didn’t pick up on your grumbling stomach.”

“And don't think I didn't pick up on your stomach rumbling either your highness," you quip back at him. "The family has a small cottage nearby we can use. We'll settle down for a bit and eat before sightseeing some more."

Before you turn and walk in the direction towards the aforementioned lodgings, you reach your hand out for Malleus to take and he latches onto you with restrained enthusiasm. He's taller than you, but he takes care not to take his normal strides as to not leave you struggling to keep up with him. Gunter doesn't know the way, so he trots beside you every step of the way up until the destination is in plain view. The cottage is small but well-attended. There’s a rustic flair to its construction that makes it feel familiar and safe despite never stepping foot in it before.

"Those gargoyles were something, huh?" you remark to him while you tap and shake off the gunk wedged into the soles of your heavy boots against the frame of the door.

"Indeed," he nods, taking your cloak off for you and hanging it on the wooden rack nearby. "I don't think I've ever seen that many gargoyles in one day. Just when my eyes land upon an intriguing one, there's several more that catch my attention."

The way he gets all wide-eyed is outright adorable. It makes you grin just as enthusiastically too. "I bet your club is going to have a field day once you tell them about this!"

His child-like smile turns into one of disappointment. "I'm certain they would, if I wasn't the sole member that is."

Your hands halt from pulling out and setting down all the premade food out of your pack. "Seriously? You're the only one?"

When he nods his head, you feel a twinge of hurt in your heart. Poor guy. You can only imagine how disappointing it must be to go through all those lengths to start a club (you would know since you're technically a staff member of the school and have been given a rundown on some of the school's functions and regulations) only for no one to show interest. Of course, you completely understand that gargoyles aren't exactly all the rage within the minds of teenage boys. Still! He goes through so much effort to build relationships with his peers but they always cower away, either due to his status or even because of the way he looks. You won’t deny that he does come off as rather intimidating at first glance, but he's a sweet guy once you give him the chance to speak.

But to expect teenagers going through social pressures and demanding academics to be as understanding and willing to understand someone like Malleus is an impossible demand. Given that everyone in the school can be a bunch of self-centered and easily agitated bunch of pricks, it's understandable that most of the student body isn't keen on trying to take into consideration the proper etiquette one needs to consider in the presence of a young and noble fae. Deuce has met and talked briefly with Malleus on one occasion, but even he visibly shakes whenever his name is mentioned, even in casual passing.

Wait until they found out who you've gone and gotten buddy-buddy with behind their back. They probably think they're slick or that their intentions are well swept under the rug, but it's clear they feel some semblance of responsibility for your well-being, as both a magicless individual as well as a close, albeit older, friend. You dread the day people begin to make the connections between Malleus and you, but you still can’t help but wonder what their reactions might be. You also dread the high probability those two idiots are going to find out and embarrass the living hell out of you, which you know you do not have the patience or tolerance for.

Gunter jumps up and sits himself down in one of the wooden dining chairs, pushing the small ceramic plate towards you with his nose, as if telling you "Alright, I’ve done what I said I'd do, now feed me what I'm owed." You tell him that you'll give him what he's well earned after you get a small fire started in the brick fireplace. Just because it's warmer near the southern half of the island and not as heavily blanketed with snow, doesn't mean the cold has completely vanished, Winter is still winter after all.

"Where did these scars come from?"

Malleus' unexpected question and closeness nearly make you drop the iron rod you've been using to stoke the growing fire. You've since taken off your boots and rolled up the bottoms of your pants just above your knee as the room starts to warm up enough for a thin layer of perspiration to accumulate and roll down your skin. The scars he's referring to are the ones on your right leg, both side by side at an awkward angle and discolored. You have a lot more scars than these, some much more gruesome in appearance than these two. Malleus has never asked about your scars, but sometimes you catch him looking in the general area of some that peak through your clothes. He likely keeps quiet about their existence out of courtesy.

Yet out of all the markings on your body, why did these two stand out enough that he'd finally ask about them?

"It's a long story," you say in an effort to stall the topic. "Sit. I'll feed you two once the fire is stable."

He doesn’t push you for an answer, instead simply doing as you say and lets you poke at the burning logs until they're properly aflame on their own. You made mostly some of your morning favorites; Creamy and thick potato stew with diced carrots and peas and some eggs, ham, and crispy hash browns sandwich between homemade halved croissants. You teased him about having picky taste buds earlier, but Malleus is content to eat anything you serve him so long as it is not comparable to the likes of Lilia's atrocious cooking.

(Seriously, how does a man as old as Lilia not know the basic fundamentals of cooking? And why does everything he makes end up burnt and tasting like something rotten? You will never understand.)

"Don't eat too quickly," you warn Gunter as you pour a bit of light-colored soup onto his designated plate. Your words are ignored, as the equally marred wolf sloppily slurps and munches on the few bits of potatoes and vegetables you generously scraped out of the thermos. His food is gone as quickly as it’s put in front of him and he looks at you expecting more.

"No. The rest is mine," you scold. "And don't beg Malleus for some either! I know you do it behind my back, you little shit!"

He turns to look at Malleus with an accusatory glare, thinking that he ratted him out to you. Malleus’s response towards the silent imputation is to turn and look out the window as if something caught his interest all of a sudden, cup raised to his lips as he politely sips away at his meal without an air of calmness. You have to slap a hand over your mouth to hide the amusement that overtakes your senses.

"Malleus, stop that!"

"Stop what?" he innocently asks.

"Stop making me want to laugh!"

He sets his cup down onto its matching serving dish. "It's not my fault you have an easily satiable sense of humor."

"Wow!" you say incredulously and put your arms up in offense. "And here I was thinking we were friends!"

His distant demeanor breaks and you both devolve into a fit of laughter together. Gunter unfortunately takes advantage of your joint distraction and slips away with a warm sandwich between his jaw, your sandwich in particular.

"That damn wolf!" you curse. "I knew I should have trusted my gut and pack extras.”

Malleus pities your distress before moving over to sit closer. "Worry not. I'll split mine in half with you,” he reassures.

"No, it's fine," you immediately dismiss his offer. "Have it for yourself."

"I'm not taking no for an answer," he firmly states. “Don’t be stubborn. It’s far too early for that.”

"I thought you liked it when I was stubborn?” you pout.

He shakes his head with a smile. “I would be lying if I said I didn’t”

"At least someone likes my attitude,” you say after chewing and swallowing a mouthful of soup. “Sebek certainly doesn’t."

"The boy is stubborn as well. When two equally stubborn individuals cross paths, you will witness nothing but discord between the two."

"Add the fact I'm human into the mix, and we'll be exchanging fists instead of words sooner or later," you scoff. "I get that some faes don't like humans, but what's his deal with acting like he’s got a vendetta against me?"

"Sebek doesn't hate humans for the reasons you might think," Malleus admits. "It’s more like he finds them difficult to think that highly of. Did you know that he is half-human?"

You nearly choke on your own breath over the sudden revelation. "Really?"

"Indeed," Malleus finds amusement at your disbelief. "Have you ever wondered why his ears aren't pointed like Silver, but his eyes are like mine and Lilia’s?"

"Damn,” you scratch the back of your head with embarrassment. “Now I feel stupid.”

"You aren't. Given the way he speaks, not many would assume he had human blood in his veins. His mother was highly regarded within her social circle, but her marriage to a human man tarnished her reputation a great deal. She's happy and does not seem to care what others think of her these days. However, when Sebek set out to be a knight, his mother's marriage and his lineage were often brought up as a way to scrutinize his character and capabilities rather than any of his actual shortcomings as an individual."

"Poor kid," you sigh. "Lilia told me those sorts of things still happen in The Valley, but it sounds so outlandish that I couldn’t take it that seriously."

"Many faes hold old traditions above all else, to a degree that the purity of one's blood stands above all other merits." His eyebrows pressed together in annoyance. "Even my grandmother thinks it's archaic, but as the reigning queen she has to embody a persona of neutrality between the social divide."

"It sounds like you have your work cut out for you in the future," you say, almost apologetically. "What do you plan to do about it once you're the king?"

There's a brief flash of surprise over your question, but Malleus easily answers it as usual. "I think my first course of action as king would be to properly knight Sebek and Silver."

"Bet my rifle that Sebek is going to cry the entire ceremony!" you remark with certainty. "That's all he ever goes on about, being a knight and all."

"He's devoted countless hours and efforts since he was a child. If there's anyone who deserves to join the knighthood, it's him."

"Definitely," you nod to further cement your agreement with him. "He could stand to lower his voice a bit. He'll give you tinnitus before long.”

"At least we won't have to worry about losing him in a crowd," Malleus jests.

"That's to say we'll lose sight of him to begin with," you remark. "He'll gladly lose me in a crowd. You? You'd be lucky to get out of arm's length."

"You underestimate me, dearest," Malleus smirks. "Ever since I've met you, I've perfected the art of avoiding Sebek's insistent searches."

"Have you now?" you razz back. "Don't let him catch onto the fact. He'll have my head."

He reaches over and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. Each second his skin touches yours makes you tingle. Time slows down ever so briefly if only to savor the small instance of physical connection for as long as possible. "What of your aunts?" he inquires. "Are they as overprotective of you as Sebek is of myself?"

"They’re a trio of mama bears," you proudly admit. "I'm old enough to drink and well equipped to fend for myself, but in their minds, I'll always be the little tyke that couldn't even eat their meals without looking at them for approval. Especially my aunt Gia."

You have three aunts. There's your aunt Marisol, the mother of most of your cousins and the main caretaker of the household. Your second aunt Lucia was well into her studies at university when you came to live with them, but her stress and long hours of mulling over her course materials paid off in the long run. Your gardening skills wouldn't be what they are now without her expertise in agricultural botany.

Then there's your aunt Gia. Oldest of the three. An absolute tank of a woman. No spouse. No kids of her own. She lived off the land like an absolute titan. The woman raised you as if she was the one that carried you for nine months and not your actual birth mother.

How would you describe your parents? If your parents were told to list out their priorities in life, their careers would be at the top of the list and you would be put at the very bottom. Why they carried you to term is beyond your understanding. You later learned that Gia had even offered to take you under her care well before your birth, knowing that your parents might not be well-suited to take care of you in the way she thinks would be beneficial for you. It was a convenient offer that would have saved everyone the trouble years down the line when you had your accident. They worked in a cutthroat industry and were constantly moving up the executive echelons. They had no time for you, yet their pride as a pair of young, successful business magnates made them incapable of seeing past the reality of the situation. That left you mostly in the care of last-minute caretakers and your aunts, but only if they had time from their own busy and preoccupied lives to come out into the city and visit.

You were eight years old when things started to get better, but it was upstarted in the worst possible way. Your parents had to go away for the upcoming weekend for work and left you in the care of a babysitter as per the norm. The babysitter never showed up however and your parents apparently couldn’t be bothered to check up on you even once the entire trip. Their silence wasn’t surprising. You just went on about your business for the next three days on your own like nothing was wrong. Your aunt Gia had even called at one point to check up on you, but you didn’t bother to tell her that your parents had left you to fend for yourself. She would have exploded if you did, but not as much as she did when you woke up in the hospital after falling down the stairs and lying helplessly on the ground for several hours with a dislocated shoulder and a compound-fractured leg. You were lulling in and out of consciousness due to all the medication pumped into you, but what little you do remember seeing and hearing when you regained consciousness will forever stick with you for the rest of your life.

If people think your level of swearing is bad, they should have heard your aunt that day. She swore so viciously that it could set an innocent bystander's eardrums on fire. What will forever stand out the most to you was the fact that your parents didn’t even look the least bit apologetic or regretful. They didn’t even approach you once your aunt was done giving them a piece of her mind to check up on you. They simply talked with the awaiting social worker and doctors and then left. It was for the better, but the small part of you that continued to hold onto the desperate belief that your parents would come around one day sent you into a thrashing frenzy and you had to be sedated before you could hurt yourself anymore.

The next year was spent recovering from your injuries, meeting regularly with your caseworker, and going through therapists like a pack of cigarettes. By the time you were back on your feet and the legal proceedings of your custody case were concluded, all you wanted was to move on with it all. Nearly a decade of neglect left you this unattentive, uncertain husk of a person who couldn’t take a single step forward without looking for some sort of guidance or assurance. Your family was exhausted by the entire ordeal and over speaking with third parties. Your aunts took it upon themselves to help you regain your sense of self in the comfort of your new home, no matter how difficult or demanding it was going to be.

“It took some time, but eventually it clicked in my mind that I was in a better place and I started to get better. As for my parents, I have no clue what they’re up to these days.” You lean back into your chair and let out a shaking yawn. “I like to think they’re getting on well like I am.”

“I don’t understand.” Malleus looks at you with unbelievable confusion. “Your parents treated you poorly, yet you don’t sound the least bit resentful. Why is that?”

You shrug your shoulders. “What’s the point? I'm in a better place now, so I've let bygones be bygones. 'Doesn't mean I don't harbor any anger against them anymore. I do, but getting upset won't change what's happened to me."

Gunter, having sensed your discomfort over the matter, trots over and rests his head on your lap. You gratefully rub the top of his head, carding your hands through his thick, coarse hair. "I'm just glad they let me go without a fuss. Family court was hell for my family.” Your eyebrows knit together. “Expensive too.”

Crackling wood fills the momentary silence that befalls the small cottage. What you've recollected to Malleus is a lot to take in, and if you're being quite honest you'd prefer if he just dropped the subject and talked about literally anything else right now. You hope he doesn't say he's sorry or any other type of apologetic comment. That's all you were ever told that entire year it all happened, during court proceedings, your rehabilitation, by both strangers and distant family members alike.

"I'm so sorry. What happened to you was unfortunate. You didn't deserve it."

No shit you didn't deserve any of that. You were a kid. You don’t need one pity party after another to realize that what took place then had fucked you forever. But as you said earlier, you're in a better place now, with a loving and supportive family that's moved on alongside you. A family you need to get back to as soon as possible.

"I love you."

Well, if he was hoping to take your mind off the past. that certainly did it. How can it not? It came out of nowhere and as good as you are at holding your composure when need be, you're sure you look no less like a gaping fish when warm and plush softness presses right against the corner of your lips. A kiss. His kiss.

"What's wrong?" Your voice sounds shaky. You’re nervous.

"Nothing," he smiles reassuringly. "I simply said what I felt needed to be said."

"Fair enough" you concede easily. He was going to say it sooner or later. He already has actually, now that you think about it. Yet here you are trying to process his words like it’s rocket science.

"Am I going about this too fast perhaps?" he genuinely asks. His hands that have been busy massaging your calves that have settled across his lap somewhere during your long retelling gradually slow down, but his hands never go completely still. "This is my first time experiencing something like this."

"What?" You sit up a bit straighter. "A relationship?"

"Yes."

Your head tilts to the side. "Really?"

He nods hesitantly "Yes?"

For a moment, you go completely quiet. "I don't believe you,” you doubtfully say, head shaking to further showcase your refusal to believe him.

He must not have liked your remark, frowning with clear offense in his eyes. When he dislikes something, the vertical slits in his eyes contract into a thin line. "I cannot lie, yet you still doubt me?"

"I know you can't lie, but I find it hard to believe you haven't been with anyone else before," you explain. Before you can consider the appropriateness that was your newfound curiosity about Malleus's apparently non-existent love life, you blurt out, "Are you still a virgin?"

You slap your hand over your mouth the moment those words come out of it. He's equally caught off guard and nearly drops his warm cup of coffee. Even Gunter is surprised by your question, olive-colored eyes looking at you as if you've lost your mind. It's an invasive question, inappropriate even. You and Malleus have been dating for a little over two days. A question like that is way too early to bring up just yet.

"You don't have to answer that," you tell him behind your palm. "I shouldn't have even asked it. Forget I ever brought it up-”

"I'm not," he interrupts you, leaving you even more shocked than you already are. You’re practically gaping like a fish by now. "I'm not a virgin,” he further insinuates.

A deafening silence, but it’s eventually broken by yourself. “I still don’t believe you.”

Malleus gets further annoyed at your refusal to accept his truth. "I'm not lying!" he insists.

"Bullshit!"

"Do you want me to recount my history to you?" he asks, exasperated as you are at the shift the conversation is taking. "Will that satisfy your doubts?"

"You know what? It will!" you loudly declare. "Who'd you sleep with?"

"He was a young page at the time,” he reminisced. “It happened before I was a century old.”

Your eyebrows raise with intrigue. "Was he cute?"

"Yes," he hushedly agrees. The disconcerting admittance paints his face a pinkish-red glow. "But that's not why I bedded him."

"But surely his looks are what made you interested in the first place?” you make blatant regard of the fact.

“You’re not wrong,” he acknowledges, expertly avoiding agreeing with you outright. “But his looks aren't the sole reason I was drawn to him. He was bright-eyed and ambitious, to the point you’d think him insane given his position in the court. It was also the first time I ever truly met with a group of humans, and my young mind was eager to get a more accurate perspective of humans that wasn’t through the lens of my tutors.”

“An ‘accurate perspective’?” You make playful air quotes, eyebrows wiggling because you know the fact that he knows what you’re implying. The playful comment is met with a sharp pinch on your leg that makes you jump and shriek out in pain. Did he have to dig his nails into you? Apparently so, and now you have small crescent indents on your skin. “I bet Lilia had a good laugh when he found out.”

“He doesn’t know, actually,” he admits to you with what is obviously a proud smile.

“Now I know you’re lying to me,” you scoff. “Nothing escapes the old man’s radar.”

His hands begin to rub out the marks he’s left on you as a form of apology. “Lilia is sharp, but he had lost most of his vigor by the time I was born.”

You go wide-eyed again. “You mean his hearing and eyesight was better than it is now?”

He nods affirmatively. “From what I’ve been told, terrifyingly so.”

Lilia is already frightening as is. His short stature and boyish looks make him perfectly unassuming to those who don’t know any better. You once watched him beat up a couple of bulky, twice-his-height students from Savanaclaw without breaking a sweat, yet moments before he was jokingly scolding himself for dozing off so easily. You never once thought he was ever out of his elements. A cold chill runs down your spine thinking how much more perceptive the older fae may have been back during his prime years.

“Wonder what Lilia’s gonna think,” you ponder out loud in a quick effort to banish out the skin-prickling mental imagery your mind was invoking. “About us, I mean.”

Malleus seems surprised that you would change the topic to that of all things, but his initial shock goes away as quickly as it came. “As you may have guessed, he’s an open-minded individual, but he’s also very realistic and unafraid to say what’s on his mind.”

“So what does that mean for you and me?” you question with a bit of hesitation.

“Well,” he trails off and ponders for a moment. “He’ll surely like the scandal our relationship would invoke. However, as my caretaker and mentor, he won’t hesitate to put an end to it if he feels it necessary.”

Had it been anyone else sitting beside you, you’d have found that comment way too extreme and outright ridiculous. However, you are not speaking to anyone ordinary. You are not sitting before someone normal. It doesn't matter how well you get along with him. It sure as hell doesn't matter how deeply in love you are with him, and him of you. The moment you have been deemed a shortcoming, the outings, the closeness, it all stops. All of it will come crashing down and both you and him will be left wondering what could have been done differently.

Malleus is truly your best friend, because already he can tell that your mind is beginning to spiral even when you go quiet. He calls for your attention by gripping his hand around your bare ankle and carefully tugging the end of your limb. “Don’t fret over it too much,” he soothes, yet also sounding like he’s scolding you for letting your mind wander off so negatively. “Lilia is an exceptional judge of character. From what I’ve gathered, you’ve well exceeded all his marks. He trusts you, and to gain such a thing from someone as old and wise as him is an extraordinary feat.”

You brew over the attempted compliment he tried to pay to you. Unfortunately, it doesn’t snub out all these festering thoughts in your head. It doesn’t even give you temporary relief. Perhaps it would have brought you a sense of peace a few months ago, but with everything that has happened thus far, you doubt even Malleus can alleviate the storm that rattles inside you, even if what he speaks is without a doubt nothing but the truth.

Surely he can see that you are still having some hangups. When you lift his hand and plant a chaste kiss on the back of his hand, you hope he can decipher the gesture as a pitiful request for his forgiveness for dampening the once energetic mood. He is not at fault for your loss and inability to think optimistically at the moment and you need to make sure he knows it.

Today is about him, not you. Even if it’s just for today, you’ll put on a pleasant facade and worry about the rest at a later date. It’s just you and him, and for now, that’s enough.

You do a mental countdown starting from three, before finally giving him a late response to the three words he uttered in confidence to you earlier. “I love you too, by the way.”

You love him. You love him. You love him. That’s all his mind can think of for the rest of the day. He replays your reciprocation over and over like it’s sacred and all-powerful.

He had planned to return to his dorm before the sun began to set, but he found the mere idea of detaching from you deeply unwanted and made the last-minute decision to spend the evening at the Ramshackle dorm. He already has a few articles of clothing and personal essentials set up in one of the many empty rooms, so neither Lilia nor you had any objections at his sudden request.

“Don’t worry!” You shout across the room so that Lilia can hear you over his phone. “I’ll make sure he gets to bed on time!”

“You have my gratitude!” Lilia’s muffled voice responds gratefully. “Don’t cause too much trouble now, you two.”

“No promises~” you sing in jest before Malleus hangs up. Once the call ends Johnny, Benji, Franky, and you turn their attention back to their ongoing game of poker. Malleus watches and occasionally laughs to himself over the friendly banter shared between the quartet. At the end of every round, the winner is assaulted with colorful profanities whilst they take their newly won gambling chips with ebullience. Yet with each new dealing of cards, the animosity goes away and they’re all back to being friendly. He finds your interactions with your incorporeal roommates more entertaining than the book he’s been reading to pass the time.

“Hey, fairy boy,” Franky informally calls out toward him. “Don’t be a stranger now. Play a few rounds with us.”

“I’m afraid I’m not well versed in card games,” he admits, yet he still finds himself setting his literature aside and moving over to join them.

“Don’t worry,” you give him a reassuring smile. “They’ll go easy on you.”

“For how long?” he knowingly asks.

You give him an impressed smirk at his quick uptake. “I give it three rounds before they start to pull back their sleeves.”

Malleus is well-adjusted to the need to quickly learn a new topic and the expectation for him to fully comprehend it in full. None of them are harsh on him for his minor mistakes like some of the tutors he’s had in the past. Answers that he believes may be obvious or not as complicated as he thinks they are being answered with enthusiastic patience. The smallest achievements he makes are met with a proud response. When he makes a surprise turnabout and wins his first game, he’s rewarded with an encouraging round of applause by everyone.

“Not bad,” Benji praises as he shuffles the deck of cards. “You’re a fast learner.”

“So I’ve been told,” he humbly replies. “Is this the part where you all stop going easy on me now?”

“Don’t provoke them,” you half-heartedly warn. “Otherwise we’ll be up all night duking it out otherwise.”

Franky sets his glass of iced liquor down on the edge of the table. “Don’t you little lovebirds worry. We won’t take up too much of your well-needed time together.”

Annoyed at the clear jab at his relationship with you, you throw one of your chips towards his head. It passes through his body and clatters on the floor behind him. Your fawn Blossom jumps down from their spot on the couch and goes to sniff it, thinking it to be food, but walks away with a disappointed strut when he realizes it isn’t anything edible.

“I didn’t tell them a damn thing,” you defensively clarify. “It was so obvious what was going on between us that they figured it all out before we made it official.”

He lets out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “That’s...I can’t say I’m too pleased to hear about that.”

“We won’t say anything,” Franky reassures. “Just make sure to put a sock on the door whenever you guys want some alone time.”

“Franky!” you hiss at him. “What the hell?!”

“What?” he looks at you, unbothered by your clear embarrassment. “Do you honestly expect us to think you guys went out just to look at a bunch of statues?”

“Oh, I’m sure they were looking at something,” Johnny smirks. “It wasn’t made of stone though.”

“I hate you guys,” you growl out, arms crossing and leaning back into your seat with an angry huff. You don’t mean it. He can see the tremble of your lips as you try to contain the urge to grin. “Even if we did end up rolling around in the sheets, I wouldn’t be yapping about it for all to hear, much less you guys!”

“What happens in the gargoyle graveyard stays in the gargoyle graveyard, eh?” Franky winks at both Malleus and you, nudging you with his elbow.

“Exactly!” you affirm, batting the large ghost away from you for some much-needed distance. “Now stop being so damn nosy.”

They cackle one last time and everyone seamlessly goes back to their ongoing game. Conversations like the one that just concluded are commonplace in your dormitory. Even if he contributed next to nothing to the discussion, he enjoys watching them interact. You come from a world where ghosts are hardly as overt as the ones in this world. Ghosts are said to entertain themselves by picking on the living, to the point that it can be fatal. Your ability to come up with witticisms at a moment's notice is something he enjoys seeing in action. He feels great satisfaction not only knowing that he has secured your love but to also see you in a state of tranquility and within your elements.

As Benji and you have a hushed conversation on the sidelines, he reaches over and places his hand on your knee beneath the table. You quietly reach over and put your hand over his, stroking the back of his hand with your thumb like it’s instinctual. Unfortunately, the heart-fluttering moment is ruined by the sudden buzzing of his phone. He has half a mind to ignore it, but when he gives the screen a glance he realizes ignoring the caller is not an option.

“I’ll be out for a moment,” he excuses himself once he sets his hand down and stands himself upright. “This shouldn’t take that long, hopefully.”

They all stop to look up at him inquisitively for half a second. In unison, they ask, “Sebek?”

“Sebek,” he affirms.

There are simultaneous displays of annoyance, pity, and silent wishes of good luck directed at him. He’s tempted to ask where all this contempt for the boy comes from, but then he remembers the many times Sebek barges his way into their dorm at the worst possible moments. It is either when everyone is beginning to settle down after a long day or in the middle of an important house project, the former more so than the latter now that the dorm is much more stable and in need of less restoration. Malleus learned the hard way how ill you and the ghosts will react when your peace is unwantedly interrupted and your space invaded by an unwanted guest.

Sebek is also quick to scrutinize whatever he sees out loud without a filter. You never seem to mind half of the time, merely rolling your eyes and moving past Sebek’s ill-meaning remarks as if you never heard them. As you are someone Malleus highly regards and holds close to his bosom, he hopes Sebek can one day set aside his strife with humankind and give you the due diligence you deserve.

...Though, he completely understands that reaching that point will take time. While you can endure Sebek to a certain degree, there are times where he, unfortunately, pushes you past that threshold and, without flinching, you will tell him to “Shut the fuck up”. Your words, not his.

“Young master!” Sebek's transmitted voice peaks and he has to half pull it away to give his pained eardrums some relief. “I was informed by Lord Lilia that you will be spending the night over at the Human’s dorm. Have you all your accommodations at their estate? If not, I will swiftly-”

“That won’t be necessary,” he half laughs at his enthusiasm over such a small task. “I have enough to keep me comfortable and well for a few days. Your offer is still very much appreciated.”

“Y-Yes, of course,” he stutters. “If there’s anything you should ever find a need for, please inform me at once! I will fulfill your every wishes no matter the hour!”

He’s enthusiastic and ready to act at a moment’s notice, even during the middle of a cold and dark hour. Malleus doesn’t necessarily dislike this part of Sebek, but he’s starting to understand why someone like you would find such subservience difficult to deal with. At any moment, Malleus could ask Sebek to grab some insignificant item of his and tread through the thick snow to deliver it to him, and the boy would do so with jubilation and utmost timeliness. You on the other hand wouldn’t be caught dead ordering someone to do something on your behalf when you believe you are well and capable of doing it yourself.

You don’t put expectations onto the backs of others, choosing to trust yourself first before anyone else. He knows now that it’s a result of the one instance where you expected something from someone, only to be thoroughly let down and left wondering if it was you who did something wrong.

Malleus cannot make up for the pain you’ve been subjected to, but he hopes that he can become the outlier in your life that surpasses any preconceived notions you may hold onto others. He hopes...No, he absolutely will be the one who brings you your well-earned and deserved joy and repose, just as you have done for him and continue to do so.

You love him, and he will ensure he is worthy of every last drop of your fidelity.

[m111nho]

What a shame

What if after you joined the scouts in order to help Eren get through his Titan experiments with the special operations squad you start getting close to the captain whom you've been bickering with all along?

(A/N) I thought about this while listening to "what a shame" by leyla blue so enjoy,,,I'll probably do sum parts lol.So I'm 4'11 irl,I didn't do it so Levi would be taller.

swearing,kind of violence, insinuated smut, agegap

around 4.8k words<3

(F/N)'s POV

It's now been twenty four hours after the stupid trial they held for Eren and we are about to set off for the old scouts' quarters where Eren will be going under a number of experiments.Now don't get me wrong I love Eren but requesting me to join him with the special operations squad to help him get through it? Couldn't he have asked Mikasa or Armin instead?Well I know they chose me because I was the only one of age,still though at eighteen Mikasa is still stronger than me so I don't see a problem with her replacing me.Yesterday's still fresh in my mind,after the trial Commander Erwin and Captain Levi approached me while I was sitting with Sasha.

"Cadet (L/N) can you join us in my office?"I heard a voice behind me say,I turned around and I was shocked.Commander Erwin with Captain Levi were asking me to join them to Commander's office.Oh shit what did I do?

"Yes sir."I saluted and looked him in the eyes feeling intimidated,I didn't even look at Captain,hell he even scared me from what he did to Eren about an hour ago.He beat the shit out of him infront of everyone for god's sake!

I followed behind them through hallways taking a few turns to Commander's office.I was the last one to enter and I closed the door behind me bracing myself for what's to come.

"Please take a seat (F/N)."Said the commander and I awkwardly sat down in front of them.Then I took the courage to look at Captain only to find steely gray eyes looking back at me,however I kept looking at him while I felt my face getting hot.Now that I've taken a better look at him I don't understand why people don't find him attractive,his face is symmetrical with a straight nose and he has a killer jawline.His hair is pitch black and styled nicely and overall he has a good physique even though he is indeed short,he is taller than me by a few inches though.Of course I've heard the stories of humanity's strongest soldier and how incredible he is but to be honest after today I think that he's nothing more than an entitled ass.A very attractive entitled ass.

I turned my head around to face commander and before I could speak he started talking.

"Don't worry cadet you're not in trouble." I let out a breath I didn't know I held. "What we want from you,is kind of a command." he continued.

"Oh." I said and he probably noticed the glimmer of confusion in my (e/c) eyes.

"Well Eren Jaeger will be brought to the old quarters of the Survey Corps under the supervision of the special operations squad led by Captain Levi,"he motioned to the raven haired man who stood still with an expressionless face."And since Eren will be experimenting all the time I thought that it would be good for him to see familiar faces,so we handpicked you to join him."he finished and I was left speechless.

"Sir,I'm sure Eren would prefer for either cadet Ackerman or cadet Arlert to join him,they're all very close."I said and looked up to the intimidating commander.

"Nonesense the reason we picked you is because you're of age and on top of your class." he replied.

"It's actually cadet Ackerman who's on top,I come in second but okay.I will be joining Jaeger and the special operations squad if that's your command."I slumped down my shoulders.

He nodded and started filling me in on what I would be doing there for the rest of the month.

I sighed turning back to see Petra who was talking with Eld.Oluo was talking about something irrelevant with Eren while Gunther was just waiting for Captain's order for departure.I learned all their names yesterday at dinner since we'll spend quite some time together.Eld and Gunther were more quiet and laid back,Oluo was the one trying to imitate the captain so he talked a lot about past missions and himself.Petra was sweet and I could see she admired captain a lot.Maybe a bit too much but that wasn't for me to judge,she was a few years older than me so we clicked.

"Oi"we heard from the very front of our formation,"We're leaving,follow my lead."Captain Levi said with a stone cold face.

A couple of ''yes sir's" were thrown and we started our journey on our horses.By noon we could see the White castle nestled in between the green of the forest.I was chatting with Petra about her Father,he seemed very sweet like her,when captain spoke.

"So when we arrive we'll be cleaning the whole place,got it?" he said looking at me and Eren.

Both of us nodded frantically but I sighed internally.I never really liked cleaning,I found it boring but I always kept my body and clothing clean,I hated the feeling of filth on me it reminded me of the streets.

We continued galloping until we reached the gates of the castle,it was massive.Oh hell no we'd spend the whole day and night cleaning it,the place looked dirty and in no way shape or form fit for residence.

It was now starting to get dark, it's been a few hours since we arrived and we've been cleaning non-stop.Captain ordered me and Eren to clean the whole the left wing.Eren wouldn't stop talking and all I could do is mentally block him out of my head to keep going with the cleaning.A knock was heard from the door of the room we're now cleaning, a second later captain Levi opened the door and I had to compose myself so I wouldn't laugh.He wore a white bandana over his hair and a fucking mask.Both me and Eren saluted.

"Are you done here?"he asked eyeing the room.

"Not yet captain,we still have a room left but we'll get right to it."said Eren before I could speak,I was still trying to hold my laughter in.

"Eren go start the other room and leave (F/N) to finish this, you'll get it over with more quickly,she will join you when she's done."he ordered and Eren agreed,running off to the next room.

I picked up the rug I was working with on the window and started scrubbing, painfully aware of captain's steely eyes on me.

"I don't know why Erwin picked you to join us."a quiet voice said behind me.

"In all honesty captain neither do I."I said not loosing my temper or turning around,I was familiar with his rude remarks,having heard a lot of soldiers complain about it over the years.I didn't hear anything apart from the door behind me close,leaving me alone.

In what felt years later we were done and heading down to the kitchen to grab some food.I caught Petra by the stairs and we walked down to the kitchen meeting an already seated captain.Petra practically run to the table and I flinched at the noise her shoes made sliding on the rocky floor.

"Captain would you like me to make you some tea?"she asked while I sat two seats away from the head of the table.

"No thank you Petra,I am already aware that you know how to make tea.Cadet (L/N) will make some for all of us."he said looking at me and I returned his gaze slightly nodding.Standing up I made my way to the kettle that was already filled with water,placing it on the stove.A yellow light filled the room and I took the tray with the cups,placing it on the table infront of the captain.When I heard the water bubbling I walked over to the kettle,taking it off the stove and throwing three teabags in it,swirling it around and letting it steep.Minutes later I took the teabags out and held the kettle in my hands.Now back at the table I started with the captain,taking a cup off the tray and placing it near his hand.I could smell his hair from where I was standing,which by the way was kind of behind him and a bit on the left side while pouring tea in his cup.I looked down to him and found him starring sight back to me.

"Do you take it with sugar or milk sir?"I asked keeping the eye contact.He raised his eyebrows.

"No,thank you."I nodded and walked around the table pouring tea to every single one of the special operations squad,Eren and then myself.I could see from the corner of my eye captain holding his cup in a peculiar way,instead of holding it from the handle like a normal fucking person,he holded it from the rim,his palm over the opening.Pouring the last bit of tea to my cup as I sat down I looked at Eren who was talking with Eld,Eld was sitting both on my left and captain's while Oluo was sat at captain's right with Petra next to him on his right .Next to me was Gunter at my right and at the far end of the table was Eren.I drifted off looking down at my cup on the table,my hand wrapped around it when a noise was heard from the kitchen's entrance.It was section commander Hange Zoë.They were supposed to come in tomorrow but I guess they were too excited.

"I was examining two titans we caught alive in the city,I would love for you to help me with tommorrow's experiments.I came here to ask for you permission." they said to Eren.

"An experiment?What am I going to do exactl-" Hange cut him off before he could finish.

"What else except of the amazing thing you already do?"

"Well I can't give you the permission, you see someone else in charge for me."he replied and Hange turned to captain.

"Levi does Eren have to do something tommorrow?"they asked and Captain seemed displeased.

"He has to clean the garden."his reply was short.

"Fine then it's settled!Eren tommorrow we're going to collaborate!"they said taking his hand in theirs.Eren looked overwhelmed.

"Yes."he stuttered."But what kind of experiments to you do with titans?"he asked and their face lit up.

"Uhm,what exactly are this experiments?"he asked once again.Then Oluo spoke.

"Hey stop.Don't ask them this."he said and I looked back at Hange.

"Ah I knew it,your expression have away your desire for knowledge!"the captain suddenly sat up along with everyone else and I did the same.I waved Eren goodbye mouthing <<goodnight>>.I felt kinda bad leaving him there all alone with Hange but he asked for it.As I turned to the left where my assigned room was I was stopped from the captain.

"Since Eren will be accompanying Hange, you'll be cleaning the garden.Understood?"he motioned down infront of the window where an overgrown carden was.I sighed, tommorrow was my day off and I really didn't want to spend it this way.

"I'm sorry captain I'm afraid I can't, tommorrow's my day off."I said respectfully and his jaw clenched.

"I see Erwin hasn't informed you about this,that bastard always leaves the hard work to me."he whispered the last part,almost to himself."Cadet while you're with us here,you will not be having days off."he stated sternly.What?

"What?I never agreed to this."

"You don't need to,these are orders cadet."

"Then I don't want to follow orders."I am not loosing my long awaited day off for this shit.

"You see (F/N), you really don't have a choice so go to sleep and be up at dawn or there'll be consequences, besides it's almost curfew."he swiftly turned around and walked on the opposite direction.Great.

As if his orders were engraved in my mind I really did wake up at dawn.Groaning I dragged myself out of bed and in the bathroom,I doubt anyone will be awake at this time so I didn't bother to change off my nightclothes which consisted of a long white tank top,I noticed that the awaited morning cold had hardened my nipples,and a pair of loose fitting pants.I actually stole these from Reiner,he was about to throw them away anyway because of a rip on the left knee.I sewed it up and now it was my favourite piece of clothing I owned.The cold water run down my body and it waked me up instantly,grabbing the soap bar I scrubbed my hair thoroughly.It smelled like lavender.Finishing up cleansing my body,I run the cold water once a gain to rinse off.I reached for the towel and wrapped it around my body,with my left hand I clenched on the material in order to secure it on my body and on the other hand I had my nightclothes.Walkind down the corridor I shivered,I almost dropped my towel when a dark figure appeared infront of me whilst I made a turn.

"By the walls captain you scared the shit out of me!"I cursed forgetting the ultimately embarrassing situation I was in for a moment.But that moment didn't last long when I remebered my appearance.I felt captain's body tense up under the back of my hand.I was practically stuck on his front so I took a couple of steps back,my face now red from the embarrassment of my captain seeing me like this.I heard him clear his throat and he most probably regained his composure.

"Uh change,have breakfast and go start with the garden.I'll be joining you shortly after I make sure four-eyes doesn't kill Jaeger."he said and I nodded sprinting to my room.Unaware of the pair of bright brown eyes that just saw my entire encounter with captain.

Quickly I pulled on my chest wrappings,underpants and a white shirt with my military trousers.I didn't have to wear the harnesses today so I ditched them in the chair near my bed and I laced up my leather boots.I combed my wet hair with my fingers,they fell just bellow my shoulders in a middle part.The kitchen was empty but it looks like someone has already brewed some tea and there's porridge on the stove.I ate quickly,drinking my tea in a hurry and I left the kitchen.The garden was peaceful but also chaotic.It was so overgrown with weeds and it desperately needed organisation,the stone path was also cover in moss.I picked up the water/vinegar solution and a scrubber.I started working on the stone pavement,getting the moss off.

Some time later it was finally finished,the sun now brightly above my head.A few drops of sweat run down my forehead,my hand willing them off in an instant.

"Oi cadet!How is it going?"captain's voice said.

"So now you join me? It's been surely hours!"just breathe (F/N) don't let your anger take over you.He seemed to catch on my anger even though I tried my best to cover it.I felt a harsh grip on my chin,tilting it up where I met his cold eyes.I was still on my knees and his force hold didn't help.

"Why are you complaining cadet?I already told you I'd be joining you when it was possible."

"Couldn't you have joined me earlier,it surely wouldn't take you more than a few minutes to ensure Eren's safety."I spat at him.

"Now brat even if I didn't join you,you still would have to finish this garden.It's orders."he said releasing my chin from his grasp.My eyes shot daggers at him,only if he weren't my boss..."Anyways I'll help you finish so we can start training."he finished.Training?

"Training?Why?"I asked

"Because." he replied and began to pull on weeds from the garden.What an asshole.Having no other option I did too and almost an hour later we were done.

"Four-eyes must have finished now,I'll get the others,you though should wear your gear."

Truly in about a quarter of a clock we were standing all together for training.Apparently Eren didn't have any progress in transforming,now with a bangdaged hand.

"Warm up, we're doing hand to hand combat today.I'm pretty sure you know it isn't as important with titans but as a soldier you won't have to face only those.Hand to hand combat is something you should rely on when times get tough."said captain."Petra you're with Eren,Gunther you're with Oluo and (F/N) you're with me,I want to test your abilities."he finished,I suppose Eld was helping Hange with something.

Everyone got in a line,captain in front of me.I made sure to keep my ground while he was just there waiting for me to do something.I could hear everyone else grunting while they fought with eachother,yet me and Captain we're not rushing ourselves, circling around each other.

"Aren't you going to make a move on me captain?Afraid aren't we?"I said with a smirk and he scoffed.

"It's not my fucking skills that are being tested (F/N) so just start."he did have a point so with all my strength I went in with my right fist straight to his face,I already knew he'd avoid it so the moment he did I tripped him using my leg.He did however notice and he wasn't about to fall down,at least without me.His right hand grabbed my waist and I fell on top of him with a whelp.In my state of surprise he took both of my wrists,rolling over on my body pinning them over my head.I grunted,his smug face inches from my own,he really did have beautiful eyes.It looked as if I was defeated but I had another trick up my sleeve.Due to my years spent in the streets I had to learn how to adapt so I learnt how to slide over stuff,making me very flexible.Carefully, without him noticing I lifted my right foot from under him and brought it over his left side,me now rolling over him,in his now surprised state his grip on my hands loosened.I retrieved full control of my wrists so I yanked them off his palms completely.I grabbed each one of his hands and pinned them to his sides,now sitting on top of his waist.

"Shorty has lost finally!" a voice said,Hange.

"Tsk,you win cadet,now get off me."I did exactly as he said.He walked back into the castle after dismissing us.

"Oh my god (F/N)!Captain hasn't lost in hand to hand combat,like never!"Petra walked over to me.

"Really?"woah."Well there's a first for everyone,now let's go to eat I'm fucking starving."

After I showered and changed again,fucking Levi had to choose hand to hand combat the day I showered,I went to the kitchen to eat with the others,everyone was already in there eating.I joined in the conversation with Oluo about how wall Rose has little to no supplies left while eating.It wasn't so bad here after all...

Since Hange was joining us we had to add an other chair,with us moving around I ended up to the captain's left,a bit closer than I would have liked.I looked at Oluo across from me and flashed him small smile.After we finished I joined Hange to their laboratory,them explaining me what happened today,Eren and the others will experiment more in the evening.They asked me if I wanted to join them but I said no,I wanted to relax for the rest of the day,maybe read some more pages of my book.It was about a girl who was helplessly in love with someone she couldn't have,it was more of a diary to be honest.It tugged painfully on the strings of my heart for a reason.

"(F/N) I'm going to need your help in the library once four-eyes is gone."captain said opening the door of my room and I screeched.

"Captain what are you doing?I could have been bare!"who even does that?

"Nothing I haven't seen before now in about an hour I need you in the library, we're going to organise the books in alphabetical order and dust the shelves."I groaned but hid it with a cough.

"Yes captain."he nodded and left,as soon as he did I fell on my bed cursing at him.

It is now almost night,me and Levi have took out all the books off the selves.We are dusting the inside of the selves but I can't quite reach the top.Being 4'11 at eighteen isn't enjoyable,even the military's shorty is taller than you.

"What's wrong?"he asked,he must have saw me struggling to reach the top shelf on my tiptoes.

"It's nothing sir, it's just that I can't reach the top shelf don't worry though I'll just get on top of a chair."shrugging it off I started walking towards the end of the room where a stack of chairs was placed.

"Don't you dare step on a clean chair with your shoes.I'll just lift you."he said gabbing my waist with both hands and placing me on his right shoulder so easily,as if I weighted nothing.God how was he able to do it? Military training,the guy's probably shredded.No don't think about his body right now what the fuck.

"Uh alright,can you go to the left and as I clean move to the right?"I felt his head nod on the outside of my left thigh and I started moving.When I finished I felt the weight under me gone and in a matter of seconds I was on the ground with a big thud.

"What the fuck captain why'd you do that?"I said while getting up.

"Revenge for this morning."he walked off and towards the door.

"Asshole..."I said quietly to myself,or I thought so.

"What did you say?"fuck fuck fuck.

"Nothing sir."I replied my face getting red.

"Look cadet I don't know who you think you are but addressing your superiors like this is unacceptable."his words came off aggressively but his face stayed stone cold.

"Well I'm sorry but what am I supposed to say to someone who won't accept their defeat because they think they're so damn unbeatable?"I snapped and in seconds I was pinned to the wall next to the selves.

"This is the last time I'll go easy on you brat, I'm your captain and I demand respect."venom dripping from his words,his hands tugging hardly on my jaw.

"I only show respect when I know it'll be returned and with all honesty sir you've been quite an asshole to me today." I smirked and I felt a hand slap my cheek,not hard but enough to make me angry.

"What the fuck did you just say?"his eyes burning into mine.

"What the did you just do?"I bit back wiggling my way off his grasp,pushing him down with all my strength.I was on top of him now just like in training this morning.

He reached out to turn me around with his hands but I took them both and locked them behind my back.I knew I'd regret this later,but I was so damn mad.

"Cadet get off me right now and I'm willing to forget what happened today."he said scowling.

"There's no way in hell I'm doing that until you apologize for being an asshole."I replied smugly.He must've not liked that because next thing I knew I was under him,his nose grazing mine.I could feel his laboured breathing on my lips and a thought flashed in my mind.As soon as it did I pushed it away.

"Let me go!"my voice trembled from both fear and fury.His hand had clutched both my wrists in a tight grip,his other hand under my chin tilting it up so I wouldn't miss his eyes.I felt the steely gaze piercing through my (e/c) one.Without thinking I subconsciously looked down on his panting lips and returned my gaze back to his.His eyebrows slightly raised,his eyes now we're traveling down to my panting lips.I knew what was bound to happen any second right now.He slightly shifted, softening his grip on my wrists,his straight nose moved on top of mine,a ghost of a kiss lingered millimeters above my mouth.I closed my eyes waiting for him to lock our lips but that moment never came,on the contrary I heard a sound of steps nearing the door.Captain quickly rose to his feet,pulling me up with him.

"(F/N)! Captain!"Eren exclaimed.He seemed quite disappointed,I wondered if he failed again.

"Jaeger help (L/N) finish organising the books."he ordered and left the room.

Putting the books back in the shelves a realisation came upon me.He wanted to kiss me,and I was to kiss him back.

Dinner approached and everyone was in the kitchen eating except captain.

"Hey Petra do you know where captain is?"Gunther asked and she shrugged.

"He seemed angry so I don't know,he might not want to eat tonight."

"Why would he be angry though?"

"I don't know but (F/N) you were with him right?Did you guys fight?" Eren interrupted and I wanted to throw my spoon at him.We were great friends but he just doesn't know when to shut the fuck up.All eyes on me now.

"Well we did kind of have a disagreement." I said looking at my plate."It's okay I, I'll get him some tea and apologize."they all seemed content with my reply.

The tray wobbled in my hands,I reached his temporary office.Knocking twice I heard a voice behind the door say <<come in>> and so I did.

His gaze didn't falter when I stepped in,walking in a straight line after closing the door,I placed the tray on the desk before him.

"Sir,I would like to apologize for today's incident,I shouldn't have been disrespectful to you and I definitely do not want to be the reason you don't get to enjoy this evening with your comrades."I said and the bastard laughed.He laughed.I've never seen him laugh.That's when I noticed a bottle of dark liquid on the corner of the window behind him.

"Cut the bullshit (F/N) we both know you don't feel sorry for anything that happened today."he said,now I understand,his laugh was a mocking one.I mean he wasn't wrong,I only said that to avoid punishment.He sighed and motioned for me to get to the left side behind the desk so I did.Standing up from his seat,his palm cupped the side of my neck,bringing us closer.He didn't get to do anything else though because I took his face between my hands and pressed our lips together.I sighed into the kiss.He kissed me back,forcefully,teeth grazing my lips.Bevuase of my surprised state of teeth on my lips he took the opportunity to lift me up from my waist,sitting me on top of the desk and slipped his tongue in my mouth.He grunted when my hands left his face and went straight on his hair,running my fingertips over his undercut and tugging at the longer hair on top of it.Humming I slowly tore my lips from his,placing small kissed from his chin to his jaw where I traveled down to his neck,leaving opened mouthed kisses all around until I reached the collar of his shirt.My hands trembled while I unbuttoned the first three buttons off his shirt,moving the collar out of the way I attached my lips on the base of his neck,where it connected with his torso and sucked on the skin,slightly biting it.I was no strangers to lovebites.He sucked in a breathe.

"Fuuuuck." a throaty moan came out of him.I smiled to myself and continued with my work,leaving a few more marks to spots I knew his clothing would cover up.As I pulled away from his torso,I looked up at him.His eyes were full of lust,just like mine.I smiled devilishly at him,kissing him once again.We left the office discreetly and he led me to his room locking the door,pinning me against it.

"After all I don't think you mind discipline."Oh boy.

Streaks of blinding gold twinkled over my eyes the following morning.My face twisted,turning around I let my hand touch the bedding but instead it hooked over a hard surface.Then it hit me.Shit,shit,shit.Last night me...and captain...my eyes widened.Red faced me looked up,captain was sleeping with his hands under my waist.Moments of yesterday's interaction flew through my mind when I heard a groan leave his red lips.His hands tightened around my waist bringing me on top of him.That's when his eyes opened up and found my head in the crook of his neck.The muscles of his stomach tensed up.I rose up using the sheet to cover my chest.

"Uh goodmorning captain?"I said unsure of what to say.He grabbed my nape and forced me on his hard chest once more.

"Shut the fuck up."so he didn't want to talk about yesterday,okay he's saving me the embarrassment.His fingers combed through my hair and I hummed kissing the surface of his chest.He tilted my head up by my hair,I felt something harden against my thigh.Morning sex?Count me in.

When I was about to make a move someone knocked on captain's door.Panicking I pulled away and covered myself in the sheets leaving him naked.

"Captain it's almost nine in the morning,how come you haven't gotten up yet?"Petra.

"I have a headache Petra,I'll come down once the painkiller (L/N) gave me starts working."he replied.

"Oh,I'm sorry to hear that sir.I'll go and make you some tea."her steps became less and less loud until they were completely gone.

I covered him with the sheets and started putting on my clothes.After everything was on I turned to the captain.

"I better get going,see you later captain."I smiled and he nodded.Opening the door and making sure no one was around I returned to my room.Now what the fuck was all this?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi sex witch! I'm pretty sure you've answered this but it was on the old blog, can you (briefly) explain squirting to me? I don't really understand how it happens and the internet has conflicting views

it’s not just the internet! sexperts - including educators, healthcare providers, sexologists, researchers, etc - across the board have different opinions about the phenomenon of squirting (or vaginal ejaculation), and the best I can explain it is by telling you why I can’t, strictly, actually explain it. 

essentially: some people with vaginas find that during sex - sometimes but not always tied to orgasm - they release enough fluid for it to be noticeable and, sometimes, embarrassing. sometimes embarrassing enough to swear off sex forever. Eve Ensler’s 1996 play “The Vagina Monologues” features a monologue called “The Flood” that was based on an older woman who had sworn off sex when she was very young, after kissing a boy in his car and unintentionally releasing a “flood” of fluid all over his car seats. although it’s not named as ejaculation or squirting, it sounds pretty familiar to anyone aware of the phenomenon.

most people who experience squirting don’t go so far as to stop having sex forever, but it can be alarming and embarrassing for those who aren’t prepared for it and think they might have just peed themselves in the middle of solo or partnered sex. one test that’s often recommended to differentiate between urination and squirting is to go to the bathroom immediately before sex and then see if squirting still occurs. while going to the bathroom before sex is never a bad idea, this strategy isn’t exactly foolproof. 

the two leading theories re: “what is vaginal ejaculation?” are currently a.) urine and b.) some elaborate fuckery involving the Skene’s gland. this article does a good job of breaking down both, but let me explain it briefly for those who don’t feel like clicking a link.

a.) the urine theory 

so, back to urinating before sex not being foolproof. essentially, studied were done that included having vagina-owners urinate, doing an ultrasound to make sure the bladders were empty, letting them enjoy a bit of sexual arousal, and then checking on that bladder again. in many participants the bladder had refilled partially or all the way during arousal again - and was empty again after they squirted.

hmm.

so that’s a compelling case for urine, and it is the theory backed up by twitter’s favorite gynecologist Dr. Jen Gunter. but hang on - wouldn’t all these people KNOW of they were persistently pissing themselves during sex? and why do so many people describe ejaculate in terms that sound so unlike urine - namely, being colorless, odorless, and sometimes creamy? that doesn’t sound like urine at all. 

well...

b.) the Skene’s gland

today on Vaginal Anatomy Is A Lot More Complicated Than Your Sex Ed Class Taught You: the Skene’s glands are found inside the vagina but have openings in the vulva on either side of the urethra. Their primary known purpose is creating lubricant for the urethra, which possibly helps prevent infections. they’re also surrounded by tissues that swell up with blood during arousal - sexy.

even sexier? they MIGHT be the source of vaginal ejaculation. Michael Castelmann gets into detail about it here, but the short version is that there’s some spicy evidence to suggest that the Skene’s gland may be roughly analogous to the prostate, and that vaginal ejaculation is pretty much the same substance as penile ejaculation save for the absence of sperm. 

as with many issues related to folks w/ vaginas, there’s not a rock solid answer and there may not be for a long time, because there’s a massive discrepancy when it comes to whose bodies are prioritized in research. personally I think there’s plenty of space for both of these theories - and others that we haven’t even hear yet - to be perfectly true at the same time. human sex and bodies are messy, and sometimes answers are multitudes. 

[dirtyoldmanhole]

ooooh now we're getting into conquest endgame.

loveblog time! just started slime!garon's level.

lol iago and hans' chapter was significantly easier than ryoma. still had to do a few resets but it was fairly straightforward.

unexpected dynamics i really enjoyed this route was: camilia/laslow! there's a winking-teasing sense of mutual indulgent self-aware humor especially from her to him, and i feel like he's got the right mix of flirty but adorkably sincereness for her. love camilia being the 'niles but female' competent kinkster and laslow being the goober.

speaking of her: i still love that camilia + hinoka scene so goddamn much. really need to do some more camilia/corrin yuri.

i also really enjoyed arthur x practically everyone; he's one of those that i probably will make an excuse to draw. dynamic with elise is easygoing and just great, his supports with benny are GENUINELY ADORABLE wtf, and he actually has a shockingly touching S support with azura. (azura gets a hell of a lot of great S supports). i'm not feeling his S support with corrin as much but he's just fun for the subversion factor.

kind of irl chuckled at corrin's support with elise with the training bit, cannot help but think that was corrin channeling a little of gunter there. :P

slime!garon is... mm. not doing it for me. awkward 'haha what the fuck?' vibe lol. points for creativity (i could see the application in a kinky hentai doujin or two god bless) but that's about it.

i'm really, really glad i actually completed revelation first. holy shit revelation's last four chapters were like "specifically designed to ANNIHILATE krad emotionally + id wise with a steel chair yeeting this villainfucker into orbit". this? ehh. i can see how CQ would appeal if you were a nohr royalty stan but ehhhhhhh, i would have much rather have seen garon's badass blight dragon form that i know you see in birthright. or at least some sort of tragic pathos to the whole posession thing. (obviously half the unsaid factor is it kinda leaves gunter's whole arc just limply hanging. there. though i'mma wait until the very last two scenes i know are coming up before throwing judgement on that)).

[hoperays-song]

Okay, so based on my last ask: remember in Sing 1 when Ash's spikes starts flying off while she's rocking Set It Free? And Johnny doesn't even react to it because he's sad? (I feel so bad for Johnny, but I can't help but find that scene slightly funny for some reason)

I can't help but imagine that scene now with Ryan trying to comfort Johnny and has to duck down to avoid them - with Johnny still not reacting.

(Though considering Ryan's personality he'd probably try to cover Johnny slightly or something? In that case I don't know whether Johnny reacts or stays deeply in thought by himself still)

Sorry this is random 😂😅

OK, I LOVE THIS IDEA!!! The whole idea of Ryan being in Sing 1 is absolutely amazing and I love it but the pure opportunities for this scene alone is just ✨perfection✨. I'm gonna have to further write this out (I'll tag you in the full written out one if you want)! I hope you enjoy tho! - <3 Gooseless

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Ok so, this would start with the singing competition becoming a talent competition (probably to get more participants). And since in this Ryan joins the main cast, we of course get a pan over in the beginning showing his day to day life. I imagine he's on a phone call standing outside an agency of some kind (implied that it's a dance company by his outfit). We only get to hear his side of the conversation (though we can hear muffled noises of voices) but he seems exasperated and a bit worried.

R: Mom, I'm fine I swear. I'm at an audition now.

R: No, it's not for one of its associated companies. I double checked.

R: Manman, not you too. I'm fine! I can handle myself!

R: Yes I'll be home in time for my classes, I just need to fit in a few more jobs first.

*a worker appear with a clip board, looks around, calls the number on Ryan's shirt*

R: Here! Look, moms, I gotta go, love you.

*ryan hangs up the phone and heads into a room behind the worker*

The next time we see Ryan is when the flyers are spreading around, he's walking on a sidewalk, texting on his phone until a flyer on the ground catches his eye. He picks it up and immediately starts grinning, giving a little bounce of excitement.

At auditions, Ryan is in the dance category, competing as a soloist. I think his audition song would be Take Me To Church by Hozier (mainly because I do want him to dance to something slower in comparison to the final song). Mrs. Crawly and Buster both seem really impressed by this and and smiling and nodding along at the end, Mrs. Crawly even seeming to be crying a bit.

Ryan is picked first draft unlike Johnny when it comes to the selection, however he is the last one named. We can see him watching the singers being picked from the side, clapping when the final selection is announced.

The next time we see him is when they're being assigned their rehearsal areas and given performance recommendation lists. He's next to Johnny, mentioning that he's dances modern, contemporary, and lyrical, not ballet as Buster apparently recommended. He shares a frustrated look with Johnny when the man brushes off their concerns before heading off to his rehearsal space.

When the power cuts, Ryan appears with the rest of the group at the bottom of the stairs, looking around like everyone else. He voices his agreement with the confusion on how they're supposed to practice if they can't see, and he and Johnny shrug at each other before returning to practice, Ryan accepting the glow stick Gunter offers him with a "Thank you".

When Meena walks through, we see Ryan doing a spin in his rehearsal space.

During the showing of what the groups lives are like, we see Ryan returning to what appears to be an empty and cramped hotel room, immediately opening his phone, allowing the audience to see a picture of him with an older tigeress and lioness, along with two liger cubs, before he clicks out of the photo app and to a contact labeled mom. Again, we get to hear his conversation from his end (though we can hear muffled noises of voices) and his motivations are revealed. He's trying to make it on his own as a dancer as well as help his family financially.

R: Hey mom!

R: Yeah, I'm okay, just missed you guys. How are the girls?

R: *laughs* That's my Ames alright! And Bella? How's she feeling?

R: That's a bit better at least! I'm sure she'll be back to normal in no time. But mom, you're not gonna believe this.

R: Yeah, I got a gig! My first solo gig! It's a talent competition and the prize is $100,000 mom!

R: No, I'm not kidding! We could pay off rent and Bella's stuff and manman's loans and everything!

*the scene goes in to the life of the next person*

At the rehearsal, we see Ryan walking off stage before Mike walks on. Ryan is sitting on the opposite side of Ash compared to Rosita, looking worried as she's crying.

The next scene we see is the prepping for run-through for the Noodlemans one and Ryan is reading the newspaper over Johnny's shoulder. He looks at Johnny, apparently concerned at Johnny's behavior, when Johnny answers Buster asking if they're ready. He's seen putting a hand on Johnny's shoulder as Buster leaves and appears to be asking if he's ok.

During the theatre flood, we see that Ryan is the one doing the best besides Johnny (tigers are good swimmers after all). He's able to stop himself from being completely swept up by the current at first but is eventually pushed into the lobby with the others. Ryan is seen looking around frantically as the water raises and is the second person to take their last gulp of air before the room fills entirely. When they all spill out onto the street, he's one of the first back on his feet, helping Johnny up as he was the closest.

When the group is shown reeling after the flood, Ryan is seen sitting with a duffel bag on a bench, trying to call someone without getting an answer. It's implied he doesn't have anywhere to stay due to the bag next to him.

At Eddie's pool house, when they're trying to convince Buster to try again, we see him react in a shocked manner to Johnny's statement of "I lost the chance of ever speaking to my dad again" and keeps glancing at him for the rest of the interaction, visibly concerned.

At the start of the rebuild, Ryan also receives a call, leaving an audition to go join the rest of the troupe. He also is seen helping with the renovations, helping Johnny with the beams and slabs of concrete in particular. I would also add scenes of the troupe hanging out in there too, during the rebuild, so we see scenes of all of them practicing together and watching each other perform, cheering them on.

During the show, Ryan performs second, after Rosita and Gunter, to the song Stand Out Fit In by One Ok Rock. He high fives Johnny when he leaves the stage and then helps him drag the piano on stage for his song.

During Set It All Free, Ryan is standing next to Johnny, clearly checking on him to see if he's ok. When the quills fly, he shield Johnny himself, resulting in getting stuck in the cheek. At that, Johnny seems to snap out of it a bit, and reaches up to help him pull it out, now also looking worried. The rest of the performances, he can be seen nodding along and clearly happy, standing next to Johnny, as if he's making him experience the shows instead of moping.

When Marcus reappears, Ryan actually is hinted at seeing him first (tigers have a really good sense of hearing compared to the other species after all) and slightly turns his head towards where Marcus is before turning back to the show with a smile.

When Johnny walks back to join the others, Ryan smiles at him and pats him on the shoulder and Johnny smiles back at him. He also stands next to Johnny during bows, with Gunter on his other side.

At the unveiling of the New Moon Theatre, he's standing next to Johnny as well and throws and arm around his shoulders in the photo.

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Ok! One, I'm so so so sorry with how long this took (I promise I'll post the other one soon). Two, thank you for the amazing ask!

In this, Ryan would have left Klaus's troupe a few months beforehand and is trying to make it on his own as a dancer as well as helping his family care for one of his sisters, Bella, who's hinted at being sick.

There are a few Rynny coded moments, but not many, mainly because in this au I would want that plotline to spread across both movies to make the relationship seem to movie at a more natural pace. Also, their interactions in this set up a pretty natural felling close friendship that could appear in the next movie that wouldn't be shocking.

Ryan's personality is also given a spotlight a bit in this au as well, as he's shown to be ambitious as well as to be a caring individual. It also dives a bit into his backstory, but not a lot.

I hope you enjoyed!! Thank you again for the awesome ask!!!

- <3 Gooseless