#I'M ALMOST THERE GUYS IT'S FINE
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not me fucking up my vocal cords trying to sing Husk's part in loser, baby...
#it's right at the bottom of my vocal range#I'M ALMOST THERE GUYS IT'S FINE#anyways#have a nice day (unless you're a prick)
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hewwo
#stargate sg1#stargate atlantis#neko atsume#almost cried drawing that cute little fucking tac vest on jack btw. look at him.#not in love with all of the atlantis team especially rodney and weir and tela i fuckim struggled with them#like i'm happy with how they look it's fine but short of sticking a maple leaf on rodney or something you know#it's the props#i couldn't figure out how to make who they were obvious. idk man they're cute and i know who they are I guess. felt the same with sam tbh#giving her a little math sheet felt a lil cheap but you know what it's done i'm not gonna keep workin on these the gateroom killed me dead.#also i woulda done the other sg1 members that show up later but I haven't gotten there yet in my watch-thru.#like i saw them as a kid when it was airing on tv but not yet while actually paying attention to things like the plot#my posts#my art#stargate#the sg1 one was done first so that's why i didn't end up putting a lot of detail into the planet they landed on vs how much detail#i had to keep leaving out of the fucking got dam gateroom why is there so much detail in that room hey guys what the hell is up with that r
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pygmalion and galatea for aroace people
you should tell your friends what I look like, riz gukgak.
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#fh class quangle#class swap babeyy! bard!riz that's whats goin on!#I really need tags for these now I think lmao#ask to tag#I feel like this should be tagged something. but I dont know what#in my brain after the initial kidnapping class swap baron's thing is every time riz keeps his story abt them up in front of his friends#they get a little bit closer. they send him pictures of where they supposedly are n stuff#theres a scene in my brain only of kristen and riz on top of the van and kristen is like everything kinda sucks rn can u tell me abt baron#cause what you guys have is so nice and beautiful. and riz almost doesn't but he ultimately can't deny kristen a little peace#lmao I feel like dipping into baron stuff with the class swap is like showing my whole ass online again I just. I'm a#horror person before all else... I cant stop myself. canon baron is Great and Cool but that is kind of the thing. for a horror thing theyre#Too Cool. I think cool is kind of the neutralizer of scary. when a monster is a certain amount of cool it overrides the scary#and now u just have a Cool Monster#its so fucked for bard!riz this year bc he doesn't have an office (he's mooching off the school wifi from the AV club room lol)#so there's no buffer between adventure and home life. so baron just shows up in the strongtower apartment lmao#sophomore year bard!riz looks like a slasher protag so I just leaned into it I guess. he gets a mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon kennedy#well. its worse actually. they can show up where he is at any moment theyve proven this. but they dont#they choose to punish him slowly as he lies to his friends instead. baron is mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon and also a bitch#I think its gonna pop up if class swap baron ever speaks in a comic I do but their voice comes from like. inside their hollow face#it sounds like it's a lot deeper in there than that skull should be#tbh what I have rn is kinda like a bag of loose pieces that Can fit together into something great but I dont have the energy to#really sit down with them yet lol. Im doing this inbetween other things#it comes or it doesn't! it's fine. funny how today's bad comic day also. I wont say this is for bad comic day bc all my comics are#flawless and beautiful and perfect and awesome and beautiful and the best#but u should. if u havent drawn a comic today or at all ever u should draw a comic
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I think one of the most surprising parts of transition, specifically going on testosterone, is just how... normal it felt to me. When I was watching other people go on testosterone and describe how they felt, I anticipated that I'd feel the huge emotions, the spark, I guess. But I didn't. If anything, I went from being a neurotic mess to being... normal. Almost painfully normal. It's like I've gotten a cloth and dusted off this thing I call my body.
I honestly think it's interesting how natural I feel on testosterone. I never really thought I could feel this normal, but I do. It's like I can stand in a crowd and not feel like eyes are watching me, like ants crawling on a log.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#HAVING FEELINGS#like i watched this guy talk about how... almost explosive it feels for him on testosterone...#...and he was talking about it like 'RAAAAAGH FUCK I'M SUDDENLY FILLED WITH THE URGE TO PUNCH DRYWALL'#'ANGRY...HUNGRY' and i think that's completely fine. but it was weird when i didn't experience that#instead of being like... i guess hormonal??? i just feel like i can take a deep breath for once#(though i do relate to when he was like 'I NEED TO EAT EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE 🤬')#but yeah... i guess this is me just being fascinated at how the same exact hormone even at the same levels will feel and look so different#like to me that's magic. like the human body is the messiest result of pure magic to me#i guess to me it's so interesting that people have an intense experience on testosterone when i just do not#(and my levels are normal for my body/age range. it is painfully in the middle of normal in fact)#(though i am overdue for labs. i was JUST talking about labs with my dad too 💀)
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Brain Cleanse Part II
And oh god do we need it after last nights episode of UIKY. Amazing acting but jesus Evans is terrifying in it...
As as its Tux Tuesday here are some shots of our boy rocking up to work in a Tux as Director (its important to keep up standards...), looking even more beautiful than Venice and being generally gorgeous and non psycho..
#shaun evans#itv endeavour#endeavour morse#tux tuesdays#brain cleanse edition#part two#we still have more UIKY to go...#I'm going to need a lot of brain cleansing by the end of this week#that guy who turns up on set in a tux#because its important to keep up standards#damn he looks fine in a tux#I bet he almost never wears them irl#hot damn evans
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What else is to be known about Herring?
somebody besides me who remembers my other silly little OCs... that's a shocker! 👀✨
unfortunately like most of my other stuff that got pushed to the wayside once the Pizza Tower hyperfixation started, i kinda just didn't know what to do with him. but, i have been wanting to bring some of them back, Herring included! i still have a soft spot for that little guy, i just need to figure out how to fit him in. (fun fact, did you know that Herring was one of many father-figures that Eyhm's had over time? ✨)
there's not really a lot that hasn't been said, he's simply a little fishy guy trying to go throughout life while dealing with the fact that he's living in a world where most creatures are several feet tall... and he's only a few inches. (even smaller than Eyhm is now...)
but, if i were to try and fit him back into my Pizza Tower canon, i think i've got a silly way of doing it... :
one day, Fake Peppino decides he wants to get Eyhm a special treat, he's very loving and caring for her after all! he's heard from the others that kitties like fish, so, he goes out to go find one for her. but when he shows back up to the pizzeria he's caught something very strange... a tiny little fish, but it's squirming and crying out to be let free in perfect English. where in the world did Fakey find this...? obviously Eyhm really doesn't want to eat him, not something that's living and talking like this. and so she takes to acting like Fakey's brought her a new friend... friends are not for eating after all! (but, how frightening it must be, to be a fish cornered by both an enormous beast and a cat... no worries though, he will be safe with Eyhm!)
#somebody else remembering that my Fish exists though... i am honored 👀✨#i really do want to do more with him sometime though! i feel bad just leaving him off to the side...#and he can fit in with the rest of the Pizza cast fairly well! he's just got to deal with the Frog that's man times larger than he is.....#but nothing a little introduction can't fix!#once this Fish is seen as a friend then Fakey will have almost no reason to want to eat him! or feed him to his teeny kitty!#my art#pizza tower#pizza tower oc#eyhm stuff#pizza tower fake peppino#but really.... where the heck did Fakey get this guy from anyways? hopefully nobody's missing him...#ehh i'm sure it's fine! ✨
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"Oh yeah I'm just gonna see what animating walk cycles is all about, just gonna do a quick practice"
9 hours later
This silly rabbit fella guy has given me the gift of animation motivation but the curse of ignoring every other obligation in my life until it's done
@rorydrawsandwrites and he moves! On his own!! Probably won't risk it with a grocery cart anytime soon
I won't specify whats in the cup
#the amazing digital circus#tadc jax#jax#remains au#remains jax#tadc au#That one alan becker tutorial in my watch later finally got used#For like half a minute I ain't sitting through a full critically helpful tutorial psh are you kidding#stay hydrated#Why is every animation in a different style? Idk I'm just throwing stuff at the wall#That gives me an idea.....#No no no i have responsibilities#He really has just become my animation little fella guy#Almost like a puppet--#It's fine I'm using the other one he's chill W it trust
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oh nuts. a life experience has given me a new layer of perspective on Cas's homosexual declaration of love to Dean.
recently I had occasion to tell a person I had feelings for them knowing full well they didn't feel even a twinge of the same thing for me. while the whole thing was a decidedly unpleasant experience, I kept laughing at myself internally bc I didn't want to say "the happiness is just in saying it" like fucking Castiel over here. (we don't need to talk about it, it's fine.) (I am happier having said it and it's kind of bullshit, but I digress.)
because the thing is, the happiness isn't in just saying it, right? the happiness is in the having. I made a whole TikTok "proving" that the Empty didn't come for Cas when he confessed his love, but rather when he realized Dean loved him back. even for Cas, the happiness was in the having, not in the saying, however brief it was.
and I've always been one of those people who rolled their eyes at the whole concept. why would the happiness be in just being, in just saying it, if it's right there in front of you to have. and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks (as I was washing my kitchen counters).
Cas really didn't think he could have Dean.
at all. in any capacity. he really, truly, and honestly felt to the depths of himself that Dean did not have any twinge of similar feelings, that this really was a Hail Mary shot-in-the-dark. and I think me, personally, really didn't understand that about Cas. that his belief in his love being unrequited was that unshakable.
something else I've been pondering is how audiences have so much more empathy for fictional characters who share traits that IRL they find objectionable and unappealing. but the thing is about fictional characters is that we follow them around in their most private, vulnerable moments. we see Dean mourning Cas when he dies, literally killing himself because he can't live without him, but it's so easy to forget that we're the omniscient ones here.
Cas never knew.
Dean's whole thing was pushing him away, keeping him at arm's length, making it seem like whatever heroic thing he does for Cas he'd do for anyone. he downplays how important it is for Dean to share the Deancave with him, to show him his favourite movies, share his favourite songs. he acts like the things Cas does for him don't mean that much to hide how much they do mean. he uses "we" whenever he even gets in the vicinity of expressing a feeling. "We were worried." "We're glad you're back." "We needed a win." "You're our brother." The audience knew the difference. We saw how he'd clench his jaw or swallow hard or make a face that said "God, I'm being such an idiot". Because we saw him in those little moments. We got to see the cracks in the mask.
but Cas never knew.
the self-hating angel of Thursday was never going to think it was all a way for Dean to protect himself. obviously, that's the delicious tragedy of it all, but what I think I realized at the end of all that is Cas confessing his love to a Dean who didn't love him back wouldn't have worked. Because the happiness really is in the having. If happiness was just in saying it, then The Empty would have come before Cas even finished getting the words out of his mouth.
so Cas's plan wouldn't have worked if Dean didn't love him back.
this is just me yapping on about my own nonsense, but I do think it's really interesting. there's contentment in "just saying it". there's freedom and relief and an unburdening. I think one can argue that it makes being happy in the being easier. there is certainly some joy in telling a person you think that highly of them. but true happiness?
nah.
true happiness is always going to only be in the having. Cas didn't understand the difference until he experienced it, and by then, it was too late.
#beautiful and poignant messages in the 2005 CW cult classic dark fantasy show supernatural that they did by accident#like they literally showed how wrong cas was to believe that happiness ISN'T in the having aaaand qed dean loved him back#spn meta#destiel meta#castiel meta#mine.txt#destiel#supernatural meta#spn#supernatural#meta#messy thoughts#lol sorry for the tmi but i needed the lead up okay#i'm fine i knew#i was very much cas in this situation no hope of any other outcome#only he was wrong lmao#I think the way Cas scrunches up his face after Dean's 'don't do this Cas' is almost like that bittersweet regret.#that 'oh. if only we had known this sooner. if only it wasn't too late now.'#AND IT'S A LOT YOU GUYS#i do wonder if cas wouldn't made a different plan with different information#personally i don't think he'd've gone out like that if he understood that dean loved him too#like he saw the love in his eyes. but part of me thinks it was relief that this didn't make dean hate him.#but sometimes it's just bad writing and we can't ascribe conscious thought to an out of character decision lol#but i think after everything cas would've fought for the thing he never thought he could have#which is why in my fix it fic wip that i'll finish someday cas is like okay well. gotta get outta here now and kiss my mute coconut lol#i love them so much
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my favorite thing about mha has got to be how you can't tell if the writers are aware or not that the setting is in fact a corrupt police state
#like. it almost says something sometimes and then they back out of ittttt😭😭😭😭#I'm not keeping up with mha canon presently so I'm just thinking back on things#like. they have plenty of villain characters where it's like oh they're sympathetic and were clearly pushed into this life#by the narrow views of what is acceptable in society and the corrupt police state#AND THEY HAVE CORRUPT HEROES AND A CORRUPT ORGANIZATION SO LIKE. YOU KNOW IT'S A CORRUPT POLICE STATE THE WRITERS MUST KNOW#but then mha pulls fun shit with like. redeeming endeavor!! A CORRUPT HERO WHO GETS AWAY WITH THE SHIT HE DOES BECAUSE OF A BROKEN SYSTEM#while the ENTIRE rest of the todoroki family is like#“well obviously dabi sucks and is a monster and needs to be put away and can never be rehabilitated ever” 😐#AND LIKE. FINE. FUCKING REDEEM HIS ASS IF YOU WANT (BOOO HATE THAT BITCHHHHH) but don't then act like dabi is unsalvageable!!#both or neither babe!! nerf or nothing!!#like. do you guys get me. sometimes it feels like wow look at how much this corrupt society sucks#and sometimes it feels like yes we are going to not examine this at all#it's just. mha is so bad. it's so bad guys and it could've been good but it's bad#it could be so good if it was good but it's not it's just bad#it sucks its a stupid anime stupid manga fuck off
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Part of why I hate this fandom's take on Autobots vs Decepticons is ppl (mainly 'con fans honestly) who can't have any nuance of the situation whatsoever and love to write plots like "oh the humans are racist and abusive towards Cybertronians so this is how Megatron is right" no actually I don't think colonialism/imperialism and racism are justified so long as you can point the finger and say "they were the aggressors first" or "their hands are no cleaner than ours bc their society sucks too" sorry. Please come up with better sociopolitical narratives in your war story.
#squiggposting#i'm too tired to like actually care about this any more#and ppl's fandom takes don't necessarily represent their IRL views#but i'm just like. oh so i see that you want to write mature stories with politics and dealing with bigotry. that's cool!#now do it in a way that actually refutes bigotry and makes some sort of attempt at resolution#bc 'oh humans are just as bad and evil so it's fine if we colonize them' isn't the pro-con take ppl think it is lkdsfjlsdkfs#honestly this is what john barber got right in his story even tho the politics in his became overbearing#at least he's like the one dude who rightfullly pointed out 'uhhh organics have history with cybertronians that makes them very justified#'in not trusting them'#but my mistake is expecting the average 'con fan to disengage from the 'revolution' part to talk about the racism and imperialism lmao#if ppl weren't cowards they would be able to write characters as problematic and bigots and imperialists#but still show their humanity and point out how the cycle of retribution needs to end at some point#and how killing everyone who ever did anything bad (esp for a race as long lived as theirs) isnt a sustainable model of society#that's my PROBLEM man like stop being COWARDS acknowledge that your heroes can be shitty ppl#instead of framing things as good guys vs bad guys and then framing absolution as being only for the good guys#what if good and bad didn't exist and we were all shitty in some way and none of us inherently deserve forgiveness. what then#what if you wrote a story where you had to deal with the reality of rehabilitating ppl who have genuinely done horrible things#what if you wanted to rehabilitate society but realized the majority of ppl in it are monsters. what then?#do you only extend forgiveness and peace to the ppl who got thru with no moral compromises?#do you want to kick the majority/almost all of your race to the curb and give them no mercy/second chances?#what if ppl wrote stories where sociopolitical issues had no good/bad guys and no easy solutions#what if ppl had the courage and ethical fortitude to say 'everyone here sucks actually'#anyways sorry for the rant
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I want to get to the good part of this blastvoid thing I'm writing but i do NOT want to write the part before it and I'm procrastinating so fucking hard
Like i know what i want and it'll be satisfying but it's like the reverse of eating beef jerky, where this is the tough gross part you just need to swallow before getting to the fucking SPPIUCCE
#I'm writing their early days when blast first realizes a) fucking void is an option and b) he REALLY wants to#but it's in the middle of a one night stand with a woman#and I'm just......so uninterested in most straight stuff......like unless its genderfuckery with the characters cause that's cool#also hard because i really believe background characters should have their own lives so trying to write these OCs as likable and believable#without them taking to too much time#or at least if they do have them be fun enough that it's fine#and also having it be believable that they'll go about their business even after the story moves on from them#hard too to get into the head of a frat bro/fuckboy which is kinda how i see Blast#or rather it's hard to write him without making him either too soft or too gross#like the way i like and see women isn't necessarily the way a guy like that would and it's tough to figure out where the crossover is#so i can use it to make this whole thing more believable#i REALLY want it to be clear that blast and void do not have the kind of relationship that would be good for anyone else#and probably really isn't even good for them#but that requires a fair amount of build up to get it across the way I'd like#like blast is fixated on void and so hyper aware of everything he does that he's almost#but not quite#scared of him#and void knows what he's doing because blast is the Goldie Locks of candidates for someone to help him with the GOD stuff#and he D O E S N O T want him going anywhere so he's gonna keep him close using every trick in the book#but blast IS charismatic and he IS fun and he DOES make daily life a lot more pleasant#so he's uncomfortably attached too#but blast has zero fucking for clue about any of that other than he's aware of just **how little** he knows about void#IT'S A FUCKING LOT OF SUBTEXT TO GET ACROSS WITH A CHARACTER I'M STRUGGLING WITH#I'm going to do it but MAN#blastvoid
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gerard talked about collecting knives and killing people and some people on instagram are freaking out about it, but most of us are just like, "oh yeah that's normal, nothing crazy happened" and i find that both very humorous and very telling of how much mcr fans are just conditioned to the darkest, most depressing thoughts
#I've not actually seen the video but I've seen people quoting it and I'm like. yeah. sounds like gerard ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i just love our ability to be like. yeah we've all been through dark times. collecting knives is weird but also we sorta get it#people do weird stuff when they're depressed and they think weird almost dangerous things#but i think it's fine as long as you don't act on it#hopefully someday you'll tell people about it and they'll see that you're so much better and they won't judge you for who you once were#anyway#love you guys#and i love gerard way and his ability to talk about the darkest things yet still shed so much light#mcr#my chemical romance#gerard way#mike hemical rome ants#gerald
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sorry but i hate that claudia's dress is hung up like it's in a museum. i know why it is, and it's sweet and tragic and i don't blame louis for trying to both honor and grieve her in this way, but i hate it <3 that her clothes fitted perfectly just for her by her immortal companion, just like her diaries, her own private thoughts penned down throughout her life, have been preserved and made perfect in bright open spotlight for gloved hands and watching eyes to feast on even in death. kinda hate it here
#j watches interview with the vampire#sorry i can't stop thinking about claudia she is haunting Me#like i understand keeping it! i'm assuming he got it from the theatre before burning it down since santiago clearly kept it#and i was struggling to think of how louis could treasure it in a way that didn't feel almost. exhibitionist#and i was like well. actually lots of people keep and treasure personal mementos like this#they just don't have the money or desire to put them on display#they tuck them in chests or boxes labeled keepsakes and pull them out to hold and breathe every once in a while#they're private reminders of love and life just for us#but a tragic thing about louis i think is both that living post claudia has felt more like playing house for so long#and his own grief being back burner-ed for decades at a time leads to processing in a more poignant and visual way like this#for louis i think it's fine tbh! i think it's what he needs to feel close to her beyond the rocks in his ankles#but for claudia i hate it#if that makes sense. there is no reminder of her after her death that can't feel a little Displayed and i think it's by design#it's a story about memory and the exploitation of writing it down and publishing it#putting your own personal everything on display to be consumed by onlookers#and since claudia now only exists in memory of course she highlights this in a most emphasized way of all the characters#it just sucks. guys it SUCKS
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The backlash against Frozen, which, from my observation, has cooled down (that isn't a joke, I swear-) quite a bit over the past few years, was less based on the quality of the movie itself and more on the fact that its massive success and reach really overshadowed a lot of other movies that came out prior to it and after it and was getting credited for stuff that had already been done before plenty of times, and in many cases, in those exact movies. This is why, to this day, many fans STILL refuse to give Tangled its props without trying to put Frozen down in some way. In their eyes, Tangled should have gotten the glory and accolades Frozen received, but did not, and that made them quite jealous. Overall, Frozen is far from a bad movie. It's a great movie with a great message, characters, music and does actually deserve the success and recognition it got, and some fans need to stop being so salty about it and uplift their fav movies without putting Frozen down so they get the proper appreciation they deserve as well. Although, yes, the credit this movie got for allegedly introducing themes, archetypes and tropes that had already been seen before in Disney, including movies set in a fairytale world with heroines as the protags, was undoubtedly the most annoying part about its success and is part of the reason why many tried to drag this movie and its main leads.
#disney#frozen#txt#ngl i was part of the hate train for a long time too#not as much as others tho but still i was one of these people who thought frozen was overrated af#but now i realized i was kinda full of it for that opinion#when i saw it the first time the major gripe i had with how many songs it had#but now i'm actually fine with that#idk my stance on this movie had always been a weird one#i have always contradicted myself when it came to this movie#until recently when i've finally begun to embrace it#i have always liked it and not liked it? idk. it's been weird#i do want to see thiw franchise get expanded but i'd prefer a tv series#and i think frozen ii needs a retcon ngl that movie was a whole shitshow writing wise#and the message was not as impactful i'm sorry but it's in line with the typical “the power is actually in me” bullshit#it's some selfish nonsense and is against the main theme of almost every disney movie#which is about how your dreams will come true if you have faith AND do for others. something even better will happen or you will want#something else entirely#it's about selflessness love and sacrifice whether it's romantic platonic familiar or even related to the community as a whole#but anyways that's an entirely different point#so yeah frozen isn't a terrible movie you guys. i think the anger is misplaced
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screaming crying and throwing up about lloyd being literally javier's weakness i am not even exaggerating for the bit it is absolutely canon and acknowledged in-universe that the best way to get to javier is through lloyd because if you attack lloyd javier will put himself in harm's way to protect him i hate them so much 😭
#i talk a lot <3#tged#the greatest estate developer#lloyd frontera#llojavi#yet another thing the webcomic stole from me#but it's fine it's cool i've made my peace with it i don't care#they just butchered one of my favorite arcs of the entire novel i'M FINE-#also are we gonna talk about how they massively nerfed my guy javier in the fight with the hell knight??#like they made it so he was getting a hell of a beating#when in the novel the only reason he went into the defensive was because he tried to save on of the hostages from canavaro#but he was holding his own pretty well against the hell knight#that's why he decides to go against lloyd. because he can sense lloyd is the weak point in javier's almost perfect defense.#BUT IT'S FINE I DON'T CARE LMAOOO#also yes i know we're already in the asfahan arc but like. let me mourn in peace :(#javier asrahan
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I finished season 3 earlier this week and I'm sorry but my brain keeps circling back to this
You're telling me this guy
THIS GUY RIGHT HERE
CANNOT HANDLE A METEOR HAMMER
#the umbrella academy#tua season 3#diego hargreeves#almost nobody used their powers well in that finale#like the spiritual opposite of the s2 opening#if you want the enemy to look dangerous fine just don't pit the ranged weapon against the trajectory guy#there are ways to make this work without just ignoring what your characters have already been shown to be capable of#i know everyone is mad at s4 and I'm late to the party#let me catch up#also technically i think it was a kusarigama not a meteor hammer#but meteor hammer sounds cooler
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