#I'M ALLERGIC TO FIRE

[mrs-scarecrow]

"Hi miss Emma! I know you're a hunter, but still. I want to give you a gift." The candelmaker holds out a candle to The Gardener, a candle shaped like a rose. "It's made of three different layers of wax, each has a different flowery scent!"

(Hettie @ask-the-chaotic-duo )

Can you light it for me and set it on that table??

I'm gonna stay over here if that's alright!

[eggman-1]

Every NPC talking about pirates in Lurien village and stuff got my hopes up abt actual pirates. but of course it was just bokoblins

[savage-rhi]

Having a B3 overdose be like

[torchickentacos]

New way to cope with immune issues: viewing your immune system as an utterly incompetent minion or henchman of some sort that insists on fighting literally everything it comes across, much like Team Rocket trying to give Giovanni every random pokemon they find even though he asked for literally none of that and does not want them. Alternately, my immune system is a dog and I am shouting 'LEAVE IT' as it tries to attack things like stress or the fact that it's cold outside or perhaps just bad vibes. It is a cat bringing me dead mice in the form of allergic responses and I'm going 'oh. okay. I don't want this. thanks I guess. please stop'

[kimberlychapman]

100% saw this as a Tribble swarm, and then realised there are definitely Tribble farms that cruelly harvest Tribble fur (not just nice shearing like with wool), and while Klingons hate Tribbles they still recognise that abusing the creatures has no honour, so there's a Klingon ship out there on a mission to eradicate the illegal Tribble farms and bring down the whole Tribble fur trade but they have to battle Ferengi and Orion Syndicate folks regularly and...

Oh shit, I just came up with a whole 'nother line of stories for my SpaceDad Stories universe, didn't I?

Okay, FINE, I will go write some more. Mumble mumble damned Tribbles mumble.

Falkland wool has an exceptionally bright white base, comfortably medium length fibers, and is soft to the touch 🐑 I tend to reach for Falkland as a spinner when I want an extra-squishy yarn, as it has a tendency to make extra-bulky singles, puffing up enthusiastically in the finishing process!

All our colorways are available on Falkland top in our online shop ✨

[christ-with-a-why]

ugh god my body just cannot catch a fucking break

[david-watts]

can’t wait to get screamed at all fucking day and not being able to leave my room because SOMEONE doesn’t believe in allergies

[nityarawal]

3/23/23

Dear Courts-

This is my testimony for myself & Carol Lund with her husband Keith.

I was slumlorded out of Joan Grandizio's home at the "Freedom Farm," at 

59605 Grandon Road in Turweleger community of Anza, CA in January.

I started working with Joan on a referral from our handyman Ryan Wickoff. 

He said she fired him for no good reason. He was going to move in. 

So we hired Eddy Lyons - another kind handyman to investigate the trailer I was buying to tow to her farm in Sep. 

Eddy also still needs to be paid for that service! We both did this in good faith and spent a day in Pine Cove with the owner Oceana Cotton.

Eddy also witnessed this kind of abuse at Barbara Bradford's farm after her maintenance guy raped me! She stole most if my furniture and storage!

I was living at Kosh's airbnb in Pinyon at 69907 Averill Drive, Mountain Center, CA 92561 at the time. 

We found out Kosh's well water was polluted (and spreading giardia!)

I passed a parasite worm there for 1st time in life after 1000's of cleanses because of dozens of foul rentals & dirty hospitals/court violence!

Then I moved next door to Mary Schmitz's animal rescue Farm at:

62950 Pinyon Dr

Mountain Center CA 92561 

Moonrise Ranch ✨🐎🏕😊

To a dirty teepee she said was cleaned and 2 geckos crawled under stomach 1st night!

I cleaned her farm for months 24/7 (and it appeared deeply neglected for months.)

I told Mary we needed someone to tow trailer in October and she said her ex boyfriend Sean was going to steal it for himself! ): 

I asked her to advise him not to since she's a realtor and this was my verbal disclosure of my plan to buy it- because she said we could move it to her farm- and I only needed someone to tow it. 

I said it was mean and she drunkenly laughed it off. 

All her instruments were stolen too! (I have pictures of them so we can return them to rightful owners!)

She must be looting all her clients because she stole 3 guitars and all my roomful of assets since I took this job with Joan in January and won't let me go home! 

They also blocked me from water and home many times while I was at Elliots- locking me out late at night and in bad weather!

Oceana Cotton had promised to sell trailer to me or give it to Stevie and Joleen. 

Stevie now has cancer of dick & needs his home returned! (It was indeed stolen!)

Joan liked my handyman Eddy Lyons but fired him too for being friends with her "hated" tenants Carol & Keith and not obeying her "silencing" orders.

Finally, in January things were unbearable tending to Mary's 6 sick dogs while she battled alcoholism- she'd moved me to one of her 5 boyfriend's fathers home: Dan Elliot senior at:

61283 Chalet DR.

MOUNTAIN CENTER, CA

92561.

She promised he was sober- yet I had to ask him and friends not to do crystal meth in house because I'm really allergic and its illegal- cleaned needles up from whole property! I told him this condemned his house as a realtor, I'm allergic to Nazi drugs and don't want to ever see or smell it in a house! 

He was living in his Inherited Probate getting slumlorded by siblings in court stressed out of his head ill. Feds were terrorizing him too and Kosh on late payments with drone trespassing.

So I cooked, cleaned, provided food- gave him all my money and was his slave for months after being enslaved to Mary at her farm- and now Joan doxed my location to cops on brobes for months at her home & camping in snow.

I stayed one week at Dennis Sketchleys- a handyman that gave me a tick in my bed- when he slumlorded me from 54399 valleyview and tollgate/country club homes and beat me. I promised never to go on his property again but was desperate in snow! 

Then Dennis kicked me out after Mary's client Jessie was murdered at her airbnb tree house listing with Mike in Pine Cove. 

(I really need assets from Divorce Dissolution so I don't have to rent from ex-cons and field their abuse!)

Joan hired me to move to her Landers rescue with Glen; he's her 400 pound laborer that is ill from inhumane conditions- he can no longer walk- and rides machines around property hobbling to tend to animals.

There was no hot water or kitchen.

Joan offered me her "clean" Dome house. I got there after dark and took her word that it'd been cleaned for me. 

The bed was filthy and floors covered in dirt I saw in morning. 

Joan wanted me to take over Glen's job at her Lander's farm.

She said Glen was making: $400/mo at

$15/hour and she covered Phone payments, 2 days off, 25 hours a week for Morning feedings with Blankets on horses,

Checking on all cat & pippy Litters.

Puppies- are in-door & out-door with Double gates. Glen used Tractor to take

Manure to dumpster with Wheelbarrow.

She was marketing Earthen domes on camp websites. She said there was no

Kitchen which doesn't seem legal. 

I could see Glen wouldn't live long when I got there with such I'll health abd depression in substandard room even though he's my age! 

I worked for several days alongside them all training with him and encouraged Joan to keep him too. 

(He doesn't have anywhere to go and depends on his job and is very subservient and hard working despite Joan's demands. He nods as told to colleagues/tenants like obedient slave despite physical handicaps from her grossly neglected abd functionally obsolete animal shelters!)

Glen promised to put in hot water and a shower in a bathroom within a week since there was nowhere to clean up properly and it was very cold and windy. I was freaking out with no shower after 2 days of cleaning pig & horse / puppy/cat shit.

Joan asked me to come back to her Anz farm to work on contracts. 

She said I'd be doing the work exchange like Glen taking over his job. 

Joan gave me very detailed directions to her property. 

She said:

"10:30 a.m.

Come down mtn to Rancho Mirage

74 straight

10 west

Hwy 62

29 palms

Windmills

Yucca valley (call Joanne) 

Old women springs rd -Hwy 247- left (north)

20 miles to

Reche Rd. 

Curves to right - turn right

Pass

Landers post office - GPS

5-10 min away 

Left see Moose Lodge

Next White Building

Says Billfs Hall

Left on Gibraltar (if get to end of Gibralter - Gone too far- see back of property.)

1 block f/ end

About mile

Knox- ni-man - (right)

(Applegate way should say)

Pass abandoned house

Next property 

Will see 1 8th 1

(JOANS)

TELEPHONE POLE

58562

METAL EAGLE DANCER

CHURCH- JESUS SAVES

STORAGE"

So I think it's supposed to be:

58562 Applegate Way? 

Or Knox-ni-man? 

(Note: She failed to mention if it was Gibralter Ave or Dr. And they're side by side. How many have they tricked & trashed cars on tow? 

Please present my full letter!)

But the 2nd day I was there I came home one night from getting groceries and Must've passed Gibralter and took a second Gibralter on Left! 

Joan failed to mention there were two Gintralter roads parallel next to each other in my notes as you can see. 

So I end up at the end of this road with a deserted house in the sand. 

I looped around to see where I went wrong on directions and came back to dead end with abandoned house confused. 

I tried to circle out and got stuck in a sand driveway.

 I called Glen to get me and he said put car in reverse or neutral and slammed my car right into the back side of his truck! 

He promised his friend would fix it next day but failed to follow up. I've written them both many times!

I sent Joan the bill for over $3000 and she's shirking her responsibility to all employees that have worked for her.

She invited me back to Freedom Farm in Anza to shower and use her kitchen. 

She said everything was hers in refrigerator and insisted I help myself. 

She wanted to do the contract with me so I paid $40 to download a work exchange rental but she wouldnt sit down and focus on it for several days. She has added from parasites!

Her agenda was to wrongfully evict her tenants!

I told Joan I don't go to court or talk to police due to PTSD. 

She wanted me to go to the Courthouse with her to smear the tenants and I said I can't go to court. 

I asked her to drop me at a park or mall while I wait for her. 

She refused to drop me off and finally I had to get out at curb of Murietta Courthouse and wait for hours in the landfill across street. 

She had no sympathy for PTSD I have from domestic in-house terrorism of courts! 

Then she grilled me about my divorce and lack of settlements all day.

Since then I found out psychiatrist courts kidnapped me to Dr. Singh Was advertising my head for a Probate murder at Moreno Valley Hospital for Riverside Health. 

We feel Joan took bribes on all employee heads for court and is contentious.

Joan failed to sit and focus on contract all weekend because she was obsessed with wrongfully Evicting her tenants! 

I told her I can't Get involved- as my custody battle is priority of my life- and I don't have energy to deal with inhumane actions to people. 

For an animal rescue- we could all see she was being careless and cruel to all of us employees.

Joan told me her lawyer got ill visiting her and had to have his leg amputated when he was recently there and put me on a couch on the enclosed porch waiting room. She said Glen had slept there before me and didn't want me to open it into a bed. 

We feel Joan was intentionally spreading germ warfare. 

All the employees were traumatized by her lawyers diseased fate serving her and she never cleaned out his room. 

When I went into it I vomited and disease is rampant in her homes.

Joan instructed me to never speak to tenants Carol & Keith. 

She said she'd trained Glen just to nod at them. This is not my way but I was trying to be a loyal servant so followed orders. Carol & Keith were confused by my silence and scared having a stranger on property they weren't introduced to, so it put me in a uncomfortable, and compromised position.

One night I was in kitchen making tea and Joan called on speaker phone. 

Carol & Keith heard and were also in kitchen. 

Joan kept calling Carol "fatty" loudly on my phone and screaming other nasty names goading her on my speaker phone from Landers, meanwhile putting me in harms way with her upset and bullied tenants in THEIR kitchen! 

I also ate some potato salad and salami- because Joan said everything was hers- when in fact it was the tenants! That caused alot if drama! I paid Carol back $5 and decided to testify for her rather than Joan!

On Saturday- which was supposed to be my day off- Joan called and texted over a dozen times from morning to night about her tenant dispute harassing us. 

I told her I needed some rest from her drama. 

She wanted to call cops on tenants. 

I said if she needs to do that let me know- so I could leave.

 I have an extremely clean and prudent history despite many court contentious people like Joan trying to take bribes on head in ponzi scam against moms and lying in smear campaigns.

Joan knew I was just diagnosed with PTSD from officer rapes and foul play in September and I couldn't talk to them. 

She lied and said tenant called cops! 

Officer King came and tried to interrogate me and drag me in. 

I said I was just a guest- sat in my car- and refused his interrogation. 

Joan called and he wanted my phone to talk to her. 

I said "no" so he was pissed he had to use own phone and was rude to me rest of night. 

It was upsetting that Joan dragged me in anyways- and kept saying my name "Nitya" - which is very unusual and private. I texted her to never dox my location to a cop or my name again! 

I asked officer King for his card before he left and he was rude not to give it to me. 

I have sent videos of all the sarcastic, rude and nasty things he said to me to both Carol & Joan. 

It was extremely racist.

I told Joan I would leave if cops Terrorized us again and she led me to believe tenants had called- when it was her! She left a voice-mail confessing and then after lying about it.

Monday she wanted me to go to court with her again; I said "no" so she wanted me back in Landers and arranged for another laborer to come up. 

Monday morning I broke her rules -she said -by asking Carol for cops business card before I left. 

I also found out my x's atty died in a scuba diving accident last summer. 

It seemed preminiscious since I'd written a song about her called Barracuda Mamma. Sharkbait song unfolded that weekend and I was pleased with sequel I'd written and good news for my children's freedom from one atty in their pedophile sting.

I sent my new song to Joan and Carol as I was getting ready to drive to her Landers farm hours away.

Joan texted me to leave. 

It was very cold considering I'd worked 24/7 in slumming conditions for a week! She asked about my records and was looking to see if she could get me in trouble for court. 

I confessed dmv.org consulted with my ex husband and was withholding my registration even though IRS stole thousands of dollars of tax returns from 2016 divorce and also hired gay officer Enoch and Daniel Crabtree to steal my Lexus rental car on rape bribes from attys. I'd been caged by Dr. Singh 18 months of covid in shit filled rooms slumlorded out of over a dozen homes, all my assets stolen, and dmv refused to honor years where I couldn't even use Lexus Lemon while it was being serviced! Santa Monica Lexus dealership tried to steal my car while I was raped at hospitals and dmv.org refused to register it. I paid several hundred and they said that would suffice! 

They got several thousand from IRS yet they still fail to send registration sticker! Joan knew I was working for her to clean up that one thing from previous courts abuse!

I left within an hour when she said "bye," only to be greeted by officers Schmitt coming out of bushes hiding at gate. 

He cordially told me to have a good day.

 A block later Sheriff Curtis was coming down her dirt road and pulled me over. 

He said he was arresting me on registration and Cuffed and beat me into back of his car.

Carol said she was talking to officer Schmitt and he realized I lived and worked for Joan so came out and had Curtis release me. 

Curtis threatened to steal my car if he ever sees me again. 

Sargeant Protero raided my home and stole my phone & dog Blu I share with our handyman Eddy Lyons- in covid of 2020. 

Mountain Liquor say our Nazi Sheriff Brags about violence they've inflicted on me and say they wished they'd stolen my Lexus as well as my rental car when they had me raped with broken ribs in covid for 18 months of shit filled hospitals.

Mary Schmitz stole all my belongings from her boyfriend's dad's house where I was renting. 

We all feel both her and Joan doxed my location to have me murdered.

Joan wrote to say she was surprised I didn't go to jail! 

She asked me to wait all day while she sorted everything out. 

I sat in rain for 8+ hours- then she called to say she didn't want me back and laid her silencing trip on me.

I've been homeless since camping in snow. 

Mary Schmitz refuses to return assets and Joan just sends "cease & desist" messages to any reasonable communication.

We feel these animal rescues are a farce and they're actually abusing humans and animals.

I've seen 7 Dr's since with over 20 variants of parasites and bugs. 

Carol says Joan had covid and was taking parasite medication- but she failed to disclose Germ warfare! 

I need reimbursement on car damages, gas, health repercussions and a home for that week of hard work we all did. 

I need $50k in damages to cover unemployment for next year and would like to have my home back with tenants. 

We will bug bomb and disinfect it. Otherwise both her properties should be closed down and are condemned. 

We feel Joan has abused over 6 employees just since September spreading parasitic disease, gaslighting & abusive tactics; and she's not in her right mind to practice business. 

She never had a reasonable reason to fire all of us and it appears she's working for courts full time as a nazi soldier weaponizing motherhood. 

We feel 50k is a fair sum if she settles today so that we can heal at home in peace for remainder of year with kids & new puppies. 

Thankyou!

Blessings,

Nitya Rawal

Encinitasbeachhome.com

National Association of REALTORS 

Journalist @nityalakshmi108 - all docs and Grievances posted since September.

PS

More notes from Joan on Landers Job:

Ac

Porta potty

Joan Grandizio

Facebook 

3 or 4 hours a day

Dome house: 

Bigger Fridge

Table

Toaster oven ( which I bought at Anza Hardware & just returned- because I've been terrified Curtis & Nazi cops would steal my car & kill me with their hospital & court contentious bribed colleagues of atty Sharkbait circle!)

No water

Park in front of Dome

Walk

5 acres

2nd half sold

"Guanacasa" - Costarica

Transfer benefits to Costa

Start business 2-3 years

Buy a property that has a business

150k Ranchette 

Left on Gibraltar (if get to end of Gibralter - Gone too far- see back of property.)

[yutasbellybuttonpiercing]

slowly, i'm going down

access full masterlist here!

pairing: song mingi x reader (no pronouns mentioned, reader has female anatomy)

au/genre: college!au, tutor!reader, mingi does not give a shit about studying, smut

word count: 4816 words

warnings: voice kink (AHHHHH), oral and fingering (reader receiving), reader is a little mean, kitchen sex, anime references, cringe, a joke about adhd, dirty talk... um..., oh right Mingi has a big dick (wbk), everyone's a little silly, unprotected sex (boo ‼️👎🏻), premature ejaculation almost, creampie, cum eating... (not reader...), i think that's it. NOT PROOF READ YET!!

synopsis: mingi hates studying, but what he hates way more than that is being perceived as stupid. what mingi loves on the other hand, are pretty people getting flustered about his voice

or

mingi shows you exactly what he hates and loves.

a/n: i was almost ready when i saw this tiktok and it completely blocked my mind because it's SO FUNNY, but at the same time, it's men being dudes, dudes being bros, and that kind of made it hard for me to continue. i apologize for the 24h delay 😞

taglist: @byuntrash101 @goquokka @ashwoodforest @choisansnotsolegalwife

Mingi is not one to sit there and look at books. Or papers. Or anything that doesn't move and feed his brain with bright colors and his ears with noises, really. He prefers to vibe, and studying is definitely not the vibe. Sadly, studying is a part of his life as a university student. Yes, he chose this path for himself and yes, he was aware that it would involve studying. Still, now that it's really happening and is not just an obstacle to overcome in the far, far future, Mingi kind of wishes he'd chosen something else to do with his life. It's just exhausting, why would he waste the precious time he has left on planet earth on something that doesn't get the serotonin floating? He's pretty sure he has some undiagnosed ADHD simmering up there, but who is he to judge that? He's certainly not studying to become a doctor or whatever.

Anyway, given the fact that Mingi doesn't like to study, he's not had much experience with it in the first place. He's barely gotten his way through school, but uni is a different level. Hence, he needs someone to 1) teach him how to study and 2) make him study, or rather: have a judging eye on him while he is supposed to study, so the fear of being called out on it may light a fire under his ass and force him to bury his nose between the stinky pages of an old library book (on that note: he also needed someone to show him how to check out books from the library).

And that's why you are here, every Thursday afternoon, sitting at the sad excuse of a kitchen counter slash dining table in Mingi's scandalously expensive apartment given its size, growling next to him every time you catch him analyzing the bumps on his wallpapers instead of the letters on the pages.

Mingi generally likes you, even though you are a bit scary, he has to admit, or maybe that's the appeal. You are polite, but you have a way of looking at him that makes him feel like he's getting mansplained by your eyes. Your taunting gaze on him makes him feel small, and he doesn't like that at all. It makes him feel like all these years of drinking milk to make him stand at the 1.84m he is at today were in vain. You always have that one expression on your face, and maybe that's just Mingi's subconsciousness telling him to STUDY HARD FOR GOD'S SAKE, but in the way your eyebrows would scrunch together just the tiniest bit, he reads: God, he is fucking stupid.

He doesn't know which (since he did not pay attention in biology class, nor is he even sure they teach that in biology class) chemical in his brain suffers an allergic reaction every time you look at him like that, but there has to be one. There is nothing that Mingi hates more than being called stupid. Well, except for studying, maybe.

Call him lazy, call him a scalawag, call him witty for being able to get through all of school without reading a single one of the set books if you must, but do not call him stupid.

The only problem is that you haven't, well, called him stupid per se. It's just how Mingi interprets your stares. Also, he desperately needs you because he doubts there will be many other contestants that are okay with getting paid as little as you are (which is all Mingi has left by the end of a month full of Pokémon trading cards). So Mingi just has to sit back and relax and simply take it because, apparently, that's what he gets for not studying his entire life.

A loud ringing wakes Mingi from his peaceful afternoon nap - one that he has really earned this time around, he managed to look through his study notes for a full 20 minutes during his lunch break!

Disoriented, Mingi raises his head to make out his location and what year he is in. It rings again. Slowly, Mingi recognizes the shrill sound as his door bell. He slowly gets up, a quick glance in the mirror tells him that his hair is an absolute mess (which is really a crowning achievement given his buzz cut length) and he has imprint marks from his blanket all over his right cheek, but his sleepy mind doesn't even take it in. Mingi furrows his brows and shakes his head. Who would dare to disturb his peaceful slumber at this ungodly hour (4pm)?

The answer, of course, stands right in front of his door. With your arms crossed and the tip of your shoe drumming a dent into Mingi's "come in if you're a silly baka"-door mat, you raise an unimpressed brow at the sleepy shell of Mingi that blinks one eye after the other.

A few seconds pass until Mingi finally realizes who you are, and his mouth forms an 'o'-shape. Immediately after, he furrows his brows once again, his body slumping forward a bit because: why on God's green earth are you here? Then, it hits him like a truck, the aftermath of the collision blowing the remaining sleep out of his eyes: it's Thursday afternoon!

"Sorry," he says and sheepishly scratches the back of his head, then steps aside to let you enter.

"It's fine, it's only freezing cold outside," you stare at him before stepping in, shudder as you kick your shoes off, slip into Mingi's guest slippers and hurry inside. Mingi's brain does not register the sarcasm drenching your words.

"Let's get to it, shall we?" You ask as Mingi finally manages to follow you into the kitchen. You sit, take out a few sheets of paper from your backpack, then look over questioningly as Mingi has not even moved a millimeter, but instead started yawning like his life depends on it. Your eyes drift down his body. "Or maybe after you've put on some pants?"

Mingi freezes, looks down to confirm that, indeed, he's not wearing pants, but Naruto boxer shorts, then covers his crotch with his hands and buzzes off into his room.

Minutes later, Mingi reenters the kitchen, a pair of sweatpants hanging low on his hips that, yes, he checked twice if he's wearing them the right way around. As mentioned, he is generally unable to properly focus on his studies, but today, it's exceptionally bad. Of course, you'd notice.

"Mingi, are you okay?" There's worry in your eyes – a sight Mingi has not seen. Ever.

"I'm fine, just tired," he mumbles, eyes unfocusing as he stares ahead.

"Yeah, you are? Why?" Mingi's tired mind cannot question why you suddenly seem so interested in his well-being. He also doesn't put any meaning into why you're scooting closer to him, your forearm accidentally touching his.

"I studied during my lunch break," Mingi informs you, a little, proud smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Something tingles inside his chest as you carefully place your hand on his arm. As he looks over at you, you smile at him, and he notices your gaze flickering down to his lips for a second.

Hold on. Mingi's mind suddenly snaps out of its hazy state and works on overdrive. He might be the type to vibe, the type to just let things play out, but he'd be damned if he didn't notice when someone likes him like that. He suddenly notices the way you started creating skin-on-skin contact with him, the way you want to be closer to him, eyeing him even more than you ever did before. Just... why? Is it because you saw him in his Anime panties?

A few moments pass, and you sit back, then pat your pencil against the book to remind him of the reason why you're actually here. Mingi groans, admittedly a little dramatically and unreasonably erotic, brushing a hand through his hair to flex his biceps right in front of your face. You seem unimpressed.

"Well, fuck me," he chuckles deeply, the rasp in his voice more evident than usual due to his nap. It's then when you tense, he notices from the corner of his eye. Oh. Okay. So it's the voice?

"I'm really glad you're tutoring me, you know?" He purrs, throwing in a little praise to get you extra bothered, and you simply breathe out nervously.

"Heh, no worries," you brush him off. Mingi decides that, for now, he's made you suffer enough and keeps quiet. Instead, he focusses on his studies, although he's already planning his next step to terrorize you with the sultry rasp his vocal cords are gifted with.

"Mingi, focus-"

"No, I get what I have to do, the contents just won't stay in my head." Mingi reasons, his voice unusually, but not by chance, high pitched, eyebrows scrunched as to why the hell he has to do this before doing that only to do whatever next when it wasn't like this for the other exercise he had to do minutes prior. He is not stupid (!), he does understand how this works. It's just that it doesn't make sense, and that is surely not his fault.

"Are you stup-" you start, but shut your mouth before you're even able to call him the dumbest fucker you've ever crossed paths with. Mingi inhales sharply. Oh, oh, you're lucky he is patient, and you're lucky he knows that as soon as he growled a few dirty words into your ear, you'd slam your upper body on the counter without regards of caution, pushing your panties down under your skirt and begging him to take you right there - or at least, that's what he imagines.

Yes, Mingi is super patient, that's just what comes with the entire vibe-personality package, so he does not dump your cute sorry ass on his baka-door mat, but simply closes his pen, lays it on the table and looks at you. A fabulous idea plops into his mind.

"God," he groans as deeply as he can, stretching his arms over his head, "I guess I'm just a little" - he throws in a little moany sigh - "a little distracted today."

"A-are you?" You nod, biting your lip subconsciously. Mingi looks at you without moving his head. "Why?"

"Well, just stuff, you know?" Mingi enjoys how the rumble in his voice makes his throat and - obviously - you feel. "There's just a lot, going on. Like big... big stuff. Stuff that just keeps coming and coming, in and out, just like that. Ugh, I wish I could just let all this frustration out you know, all this pent up stuff." He watches for your reaction.

Unmistakably, your hand holding your own pen in a relaxed manner mere seconds ago now desperately grasps the poor objects until your knuckles turn white, your breathing is uneven and loud as if you'd just ran the entire way from Mingi's place to the next convenience store (seriously, why the fuck is he paying so much for this godforsaken apartment?). And - Mingi's favorite reaction to him ever: you're pressing your thighs together.

Oh, how Mingi loves himself a good reaction like this.

"Big stuff, huh?" Your voice trembles as your nervous eyes search for his. "H-how big?"

"Oh, really big. Just really fucking big," Mingi confirms with a slight smirk. He loves how you just fold easily like that. One second, you're over there feeling superior on your little throne of knowledge that Mingi lacks, and the next, you're making a little mess in your panties just because Mingi so much as spoke. Absolutely incredible. People should start calling him "the rizzler".

"I think-" you clear your throat, "I think I should head home then?"

Mingi smiles to himself as soon as you turn away to pack your stuff into your backpack. His hands automatically reach out to play with his pen, his long, slender fingers toying with the object, inevitably drawing your attention to the movements. "Already?"

"Mhm." You stare a second too long, gulp, then hastily stuff your belongings into the big compartment of the backpack, Mingi listens to the sweet melody of stressed breathing and papers crunching.

As amused as he is, he decides that it is time for the big reveal.

"Keep it in your pants, baby" he looks over, his eyebrow halfway raised, and stops rocking back and forth and fiddling with the pencil as you freeze in your tracks and stop packing. "What?"

Slowly, you turn your head to look at him. "So you know?" You manage to squeak.

Mingi smugly pushes his tongue into his cheek. He loves how you're basically vibrating out of nervousness. "Oh, I know."

You sigh, hands finally letting go of your stuff and motioning defeat. He wonders what's going on in your mind right now. Are you afraid he's going to call you out? That he's going to make fun of you? That he's going to call you a needy slut and send you home? Or are you wondering if he's going to give you what you want? Mingi loves this game.

That's why he decides to make your situation a little more miserable.

"I also know that you think I'm stupid," he explains calmly, trying his best to no longer show any excitement, smugness, or any emotion whatsoever on his sharp facial features to really confuse you. Well, that's what you're getting for (almost) calling The Song Mingi stupid. Just a little payback, is all. He's not going to go so far and make you cry. No, no, Mingi can't handle when people cry, much less so if it's because of him.

Nevertheless, your breath hitches. Oh, you're fully aware that he didn't like you calling him that at all. Oh, how the gears are turning behind your forehead as you're trying to figure out what's going on, and what's going to go on in the next minutes.

"Thought so," Mingi deadpans. Yeah, that's right. Look how smart he is now! Super smart! He's got you all figured out. He knows exactly what to say and how to act to make you feel - and, fuck, does this feel like redemption - stupid.

"I'm sorry-" you start, back facing Mingi's form, but Mingi is not here for it. Mingi has gotten what Mingi wants. Mingi feels as powerful as he imagines a lion to feel, like, every day.

"Dumb fucks good," he simply states, just putting it out there, throwing it into the room for you to do with that statement whatever you like. Mingi's mind is already satisfied, his ego stroked because he's just proven that he isn't dumb. Although... he wouldn't mind a little diddling because, if he's being honest, you're hot as fuck and seeing you react to him in this way- well, he's also just a man!

"What?" You probably think you must've terribly misheard him as you whip your head around to face the confident Mingi smugly leaned back in his chair. Your eyes meet his, and he is sure that you now realize that, no, you definitely did not mishear him. That was exactly what he said.

In the blink of an eye, Mingi feels your presence on his lap, a last final look into his eyes before he feels your lips against his, desperately chewing away the remaining air separating his spit from yours. It's messy, lips colliding, too much teeth and tongue, but it's all raw and desperate. Mingi gets the vibes that you may have had some pent up want for him, but that's honestly the last clear thought he can muster before you grind your hips against his.

A deep groan escapes Mingi's lips, inevitably echoing against your own quiet gasps that just turn louder with every movement of your hips, your hands frantically trying to touch him everywhere at once to the point where he has to grab your arms and pull you back. Your eyes, wide. And confused, but somehow lidded and hazy at the same time struggle to take in Mingi in front of you. Yes, Mingi is aware of the effect of his siren eyes.

For another moment, he simply enjoys seeing how destroyed you look already, but honestly, there is just one thing on his mind.

"I'm gonna eat you out," he informs, waiting for you to nod frantically, whine and scramble off his lap for him to keep his promise. And you do, allowing Mingi to grab your waist with his large hands and lift you onto the counter. Of course, he can't resist getting another taste of your lips, almost losing himself in the soft pillows that frame your pretty mouth, but the hardness creating a tent in his sweatpants reminds him that he should possible attend a little lower.

Hence, he kisses his way over your cheek towards your jaw, then over your neck and down your collarbones. Mingi is not sure what your opinions on love bites are, so he just hopes you can remember him being right here and here and here even without visual proof, he can save that for next time.

Okay, Mingi admittedly was not able to hold himself back completely, his teeth only gently nipping at your skin on his way down. He simply hopes for the best, but your sounds seem to imply that you do not mind him one bit. Instead, you sound as if you wouldn't mind him taking a few bites more.

Impatient as you are, you assist Mingi in pushing your shirt out of the way, the straps of your bra automatically falling down your shoulders to reveal more of you to his hungry eyes.

And as much as Mingi would like to spend hours playing with your chest, he keeps it down to a minimum, kissing the soft flesh while gently pushing the remaining material out of the way for better access. His lips wrap around a nipple, his hands meanwhile busy with massaging the other and carefully holding your waist. God, Mingi loves boobs. But he might love the way your fingers comb through his hair and gently pull on it a bit more even.

Finally, the time has come, and Mingi kneels down on the floor. Pushing your skirt up, hands caressing your thighs, he creates eye contact with your eyes glazed over by lust and want. It doesn't even faze him that he hasn't cleaned these floors in weeks, honestly, he is in so deep he probably wouldn't even realize if the stove was on, lighting his study notes on fire.

He wants to tease you more, make you wait, maybe make you beg even, but he just feels too hungry to keep waiting. His fingers hook into the hem of your panties, pulling them down your legs as quickly as possible before spreading your legs and groaning in anticipation.

Throwing your thighs over his shoulders, he pulls you forward a little further, chuckling as you almost lose balance and smile at him. Okay, maybe Mingi feels a little tingle, and maybe that is not a horny tingle, but that's something to worry about later, if ever. Right now, he has a mission: dive in.

So that's what he does, obviously, planting a careful kiss right on your clit to wait for your reaction. And you do not disappoint, gasping slightly at the first sensation before getting louder and bolder the more Mingi tastes you.

His tongue gently parts your folds, getting a first taste of your juices. You basically cry out as his tongue prods at your hole, carefully easing its way inside to caress your walls.

Automatically, your hands fly to his hair, gently pulling at the roots to find a way to ground yourself, the feeling assumingely overwhelming, Mingi thinks, not to brag, but-

Mingi's eyes roll back at a particularly hard tug at his hair, paired with the way your hips grind closer until you're basically riding his face. Fuck, how are you so hot? Mingi's fingers grab hard at your thighs, loving the way the soft flesh feels in his hands.

To experiment a little more and, first and foremost, to get more rewarding reactions out of you, Mingi lets his mouth wander back up to your clit, gently sucking the nub between his lips, his tongue carefully flicking as not to overwhelm you. At the same time, a fingers sneaks its way over to circle your entrance.

Your throat coughs out a broken moan at this, your eyes switching between looking at Mingi's eyes and his mouth, and closing completely. Mingi loves taking in the pleasure written all over your face. He might not admit it, but he loves this kind of praise much more than verbal praise because your body really can't lie. He can literally taste how good he is at this.

He finally pushes his finger inside, loving how the wetness and muscle contractions are basically pulling him deeper and deeper until past his second knuckle. He feels around a little, trying to find the spots that seem to appeal to you the most, watching carefully how you react to each and every flick of his wrist.

Although, he feels that one finger is not enough to prepare you for the rest of him, so he adds another, massaging them into the spot that seems to be making you see stars with the way you grip his hair even tighter and mutter something he interprets as a warning that you're about to cum.

Keeping his pace, he successfully sends you over the edge, letting you ride out your high on his tongue before removing his lips, only getting his fingers massage the last clenches out of you.

Looking up he realizes you look, respectfully, wrecked, with your chest heaving, your hair a little messy and your eyes hazy and glossy, parted lips asking for his. And who is he to deny them, as he leans in to allow you to taste yourself. You seem to like it.

Pulling back after a while, he looks at you. You look so happy and relaxed like he's never seen before. For some reason, it reminds him of the weight in his pants that he suddenly feels the need to inform you about.

"You make me so hard," Mingi says lowly, carefully taking your hand to prove it to you, "feel." It's more your hand guiding his with how fast you reach down to feel him, eager to touch the outline of him through the sweatpants. And as if you're getting paid to stroke Mingi's ego even more, you gasp at his size.

Mingi can't help but smirk, of course, who wouldn't?

"Big stuff, huh?" You repeat your words from earlier, but this time no longer nervous, but cheeky as you bite your lip playfully. Oh, how Mingi would love to make you choke on his dick right now, just a little, and in a loving matter, but he's honestly waited long enough and he really just needs to be in you right now. And besides, Mingi is more in his giving > receiving era.

Instead, he grins. And he feels like there is something more.

Impatiently, you tug at his pants, successfully moving them a millimeter. Mingi helps you push his pants further down until it pools around his ankles. You giggle.

Damnit, Mingi. Why couldn't you've changed your underwear? Mingi mentally scolds himself, a good amount of his previously earned smugness flying out the window. Instead, he gives you kind of a sheepish look.

"I don't mind," you assure, tugging at his anime boxers next, "it's actually relieving to be reminded that you're still the cute, dorky Mingi and are not possessed by a sex demon."

"Incubus," Mingi points out.

"I don't fucking care. Just get this hideous thing off and have sex with me!"

Mingi does not need to be told twice, although he makes a mental note to scold you later for calling the one and only Naruto printed on a piece of fabric shielding his balls from the outside world hideous.

"God, fuck," you let out, and Mingi chuckles at your reaction to his naked lower half, "come here. Please."

You pull him closer, wrap your legs around him and beg him with your eyes. Mingi wastes not another second, aligning himself with your hole and slowly pushing forwards. Your eyes roll back as he enters you, causing you to hold onto him for dear life as he inches inside, filling you completely.

God, must your walls hug him so perfectly? Must you be so unbelievably wet just for him? Must you make these sounds? Mingi feels like he doesn't want to be inside anyone else ever again.

"I feel like I don't want to inside anything else ever again."

How did that get out there?

You chuckle, and have the nerve to pinch his cheek, as if he wasn't balls deep buried inside you right now. "You're so cute."

Cute?!

Mingi will show you cute. He grabs your jaw, admittedly still gently, and makes you look at him as he pulls almost all the way out until his tip catches at your entrance. "Cute?" And he pushes in all the way all at once. You moan, the feeling too much, too intense for you to still keep your eyes open. Helplessly, you cling to Mingi's body as he repeats the action 4 more times before setting a steady rhythm, angling his hips in a way that should stimulate the spot you liked so much earlier.

With your mouth hanging open and your eyebrows scrunched, you look like the prettiest thing Mingi's ever seen. He wants to see you drool, watch you completely lose your mind over nothing else but his cock. At the same time, he is surprised how good it feels. Well, not surprised that it feels good, but that it feels abnormally good, like he's about to nut in the next minute or so. Hopefully, he's able to coax another high out of you before that.

"What was it that riled you up so much earlier? My voice?" He growls, and you as much as whimper in return. "Yeah, like it that my voice is so deep?" You nod pathetically. "Cute."

"Mingi- 's so good."

"Yeah, am I fucking you good?" Mingi grins and you nod weakly, struggling to keep your eyes open. Mingi really shouldn't be the one talking big because honestly, he feels like if u moan one more time, if ur walls clench around him one more time, he is going to lose it. Something about this entire situation is just super surreal to him, or maybe it's simply you that is the reason for his premature high that is coming for him with fast steps.

"Fuck, baby," he groans, kissing your cheek before whispering, "can I please cum inside?"

"Shit, y-yes," you confirm, nodding quickly as you fight your hardest battle to keep your eyes open, focused and on the man that's currently grinding his tip into your sweet spot. Mingi feels like he loves you.

Mingi also feels like he's loosing his grip on reality, which is why he grabs your hips harder than before, using his strength to really slam his hips into yours with force, drowning his thoughts with the sounds of your moans. There is nothing on his mind except for you, you, you, and the primal need to make you his.

"Please," he groans, not quite sure what he's begging for, but it doesn't really matter in the end, does it? All that matters is that Mingi's ears catch the way you're begging him to cum for you, to fill you up, to please, please finish inside. He is not going to deny you that wish.

His hips stutter, his mind goes numb as he feels his muscles tighten and contract, releasing deep inside you. The feeling spreads in his body, feeling high and happy with such a forceful orgasm like this one.

Everything after is just a blur in his mind, he just remembers realizing that you didn't cum a second time, and he wouldn't be Mingi if he kept it that way. That's why he found himself back on his knees seconds after pulling out, sucking your clit back into his mouth, tasting his own release that's threatening to drip out if it wasn't for his fast fingers pumping in and out of you to push you over the edge.

It doesn't take long until you do, orgasm fueled by the lewd action of Mingi eating his own cum out of you, he assumes. Somehow, you two end up in his bed after, mostly because Mingi is a cuddler, partly because Mingi is not able to let you go yet. Or ever. Who knows.

© 2023 YUTASBELLYBUTTONPIERCING all rights reserved — please DO NOT translate, take, nor repost any of my works.

[2tcs]

day 1: camping and candle

“Ugh. Why are we doing this again?” Danny complained as he watched his dad pull supplies out of the GAV.

“Well, your dad and I agreed that everyone has been a little too stressed. What with the ghosts destroying part of the school and your father and I's recent slump.” Maddie absently replied as she began clearing a spot for the fire pit.

“Besides Danno. This gives us the perfect opportunity to try out the new and improved Fenton Anti-ghost Tent.” Jack shouted as he put a glowing box on the ground and pressed a button on the side that caused it to fold out into what could only be described as a family-size carnival tent.

“Hay Jazz?”

“Ya Danny?”

“Please tell me you packed the actual tent.”

“Yes. I even managed to buy a box of MREs in case Mom and Dad brought contaminated food again.”

“A week of MREs. Yay. Well, we might as well get our side of camp set up 'cause I am not sleeping in that.”

👻🦇👻🦇

“Come hi everyone this is going to be fun. Think about it! Tents, roasted marshmallows, campfire stories. This will be awesome.” Dick said as he jumped out of the van and started unloading camping supplies.

“This is a survival training exercise, Richard. Not a family bonding trip.” Damian said as he looked at the single-family size tent that Dick had packed.

“For once I agree with Damien. This is not what I would consider “fun” or “awesome”.” Tim said as he set up his laptop to finish his report for the next WE project that is due next week.

“I just want to know how the hell I got roped into this.” Jason grumbled as he started picking up stones for a campfire ring.

“Come on guys. This is as close to family vacation as we have been able to get in, like, ever. Let's make the most of it and have some fun.” Dick pleaded with them. “You agree with me, right Duke?”

“I mean. Except for you and Damien, we're all city kids. But I guess it could be fun.” Duke hurriedly added on as he saw Dick start to pout. “Yeah, yeah. Well, I ain't setting this up myself. Duke help me with these rocks. Tim helped Dick set up the stupid tent. And Damien you got the most experience in survival training. I need you to go through and scout the area and pick up wood for this fire.” Jason said while ignoring Dick's happy dance at his family getting along and helping each other.

🦇👻🦇👻

“Come on Danno! How can you protect yourself from ghosts if you don't put on the Anti-ecto Spray?” Jack asked as he followed Danny as he gathered wood for the fire.

“We're in the middle of the forest, Dad. All we have to worry about out here is bugs and bears. And we have a spray for both already.” Danny argued.

“He's right Dad. Besides you have that Ecto Shield that will be covering the camp once everything is set up for the night.” Jazz said, watching as her dad pouted and walked over to their mom.

“Madds? You'll put on the Anti-ecto Spray won't you?”

“I'm sorry dear. But you know that stuff causes my skin to rash. I think I might be allergic to something we used in it.” Maddie said as she pulled out a dutch oven and some baking supplies. “Here honey, why don't you go and make some fudge? I know how much you like your campfire fudge.”

“Campfire fudge is pretty good. But we're going to need more firewood if we're going to bake.”

“I got it Dad.” Danny said, taking off into the woods in a desperate attempt to get away from all the anti-ghost stuff.

“That's my Danny Boy! Always eager to help out. Make sure you get some good size logs too!”

“I’ll go with him. For the buddy system.” Jazz said as she began to walk in the direction Danny had run off in.

👻🦇👻🦇

“Tt.”

“Don't Tt me. A dutch oven is an essential if you are going camping.” Jason said as he checked to see if the water was boiling before moving the pot back over the fire so that the water in it could stay hot.

“It is cumbersome and will weigh us down if we must move quickly through the woods.” Damian huffed.

“Well, it's a good thing we aren't going to need to move quickly through the woods. Now here's a knife and some potatoes. They've already been washed so now they just need cut up.”

“And what makes you think I will help you cook?”

“For the same reason that Tim is cutting up veggies and Duke is cutting the vegan turkey sausage. If you want to eat. You need to help.”

“Richard is not helping.”

“Richard would burn the forest down if we let him do anything more than roast marshmallows.”

“Hay! I'm not that bad.” Dick whined from where he was still struggling with the tent.

“August 26th, 2010.” Tim deadpanned as he put the veggies into the oven.

“Okay. That's not fair Tim.”

“Um. What happened in 2010?” Duke asked before they were interrupted my a loud explosion to the east of them.

“Put a pin in that Glowstick. I think we should check that out.” Jason said as he put the lid on the pot and moved it away from the fire before Tim quickly grabbed the bucket of dirt they had and smothered the fire with it before taking off towards the sound.

🦇👻🦇👻

“What the hell was that!” Danny yelled as he dropped the sticks he was carrying and ran back towards camp.

“I don’t know! Just run!” Jazz shouted back as she pulled out her collapsible creep stick and tossed Danny the laser lipstick.

By the time they broke through the brush, they saw the camp in chaos. The new tent was trying/failing to eat Jack and Maddie was fighting the ecto lights.

“I kinda want to let them suffer.” Danny said as he deactivated the lipstick. Only to sigh as a group of four men ran into the clearing and began to try and help.

“I don’t think that’s an option anymore.” Jazz commented as she watched the human tank shoulder-check their dad to get him out of the way while a tall slender man expertly climbed the poles of the tent to get to the power switch that was at the top of the tent for some reason.

“I don’t know Jazz. They seem like they're doing a good job.” Danny replied as the shortest and skinnyest of the group tried to help Maddy with the lights.

“I’ll get the lights. You get the tent.” Jazz sighed before taking off and using the creep stick to tangle the lights and yank them out of the portable ecto-battery that their parents brought with them. Danny in the meantime ran to the GAV and climbed on top to give him a clear shot at the off button seeing as the tent was moving too much to climb. One clean shot and the tent folded in on itself, back into the box it was that morning.

“Danno! Jazzypants! Good job!” Jack shouted as he scooped both kids into a hug.

“And thank you to you four as well. It’s clear you have had training but you should really leave the ecto fighting to the professionals.” Maddy addressed the young men who had come over to make sure everyone was okay.

“Ecto fighting? Lady I don’t know” The tank asked as he crossed his arms.

“What my brother means to say!” The one who tried to climb the tent interrupted. “Is that we’re from Gotham so are kinda used to having to fight. I’m Dick by the way. This is my brother Jason. Tim is the one who is currently investigating the tent box? And Duke is standing next to him. And last but not least this is Damian!”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you all! I’m Jack! That’s my lovely wife Maddie, and these are our kids! Jazz and Danny!”

“You were quite adept with your baseball bat. Have you ever thought about training with a bo staff?” Damian asked Jazz.

“It’s actually what I was originally trained in when Mom was training me how to fight.” Jazz said while straightening her hair once Jack put her and Danny down.

“If you want honeybun I can make you a new bo staff when we get home. It would offer more maneuverability during a ghost fight.”

“Ghost fight?” Tim asked as he and Duke walked over to the little family.

“Ya! Me and Madds here are ectobiologists!” Jack excitedly said before Jazz took the wind out of his sail.

“It doesn’t really matter what we are right now. The FAT completely wrecked the camp. The GAV and the MREs are okay but we’ll probably have to move camp or go home.”

“I saw an old cabin to the west of us with some candles and stuff not far from here when I got the first batch of firewood. We could stay there and leave some of our supplies in exchange for anything we use.” Danny chipped in.

“Hay! I think we passed that on the way here! Maybe we can all camp together! Safety in numbers you know?” Dick suggested as he bounced on his toes.

“That’s a great idea! How about you boys gather your camp and meet us there!” Jack cheered before he ran off to pack the GAV back up.

“Danny dear. Can you go with them and mark a trail to the cabin for us? Here’s some orange ribbon to tie to the trees.” Maddy said before ushering Jazz off so that Danny could “hang out with boys his age.”

“So,” Danny said as he started down the trail. “Gotham huh?”

“Yup. Where are you from?” Dick asked.

“Amity Park.”

“The most haunted place in the world?” Tim asked as he pulled out his phone and began typing.

“Sounds interesting.” Duke said only for Danny to through his head back and groan loudly causing the siblings to look at each other.

“Yes, it's haunted. No, I would not recommend going. The government already has it’s nose in it. And even though my parents didn’t recognize a group of Wayens doesn’t mean I didn’t. We do not need that kind of publicity.”

“Fair enough.” Jason shrugged while leaning over to look at Tim’s phone.

“Let’s just get this done.” Danny grumbled trying to walk ahead of the group.

“We’re totally going to investigate this aren’t we.” Duke whispered when Danny was far enough ahead.

“Tt. Obviously Thomas.”

~~~~~

An hour late but I think I did it. Hope everyone enjoyed it!

[fire-fira]

Due to a random conversation that led me to work out a rough scale for spice tolerance, I'm curious how people would rate themselves. SO:

[docdudo]

Hi hi!!

Read your foster parent au and it’s probably my favorite thing I’ve read on this app lmao

I was wondering though

I’ve seen a lot of hcs about price liking spicy food because of yknow- fire breathing.

Do you think they’d avoid giving the baby spicy food?? Or do you think they’d be unaware that it might be too spicy for them?

(Really I just got curious about what they do if the kid is struggling with spicy food-)

That's an interesting ask, considering i'm allergic to pepper kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk (Well, pepper, or spicy stuff? I'm not sure how to put it in english, but i'm alergic to that).

I can see Price liking spicy stuff easily, him and Ghost kkk

No, but for sure, the 141 probably searched a lot about humans, before and during the reader's stay. They searched a lot of safe foods for humans too, since different species have different diets.

They would probably not give them anything spicy, nor anything that they don't think it's healthy or safe for them. They did buy a lot of little snacks for humans, but still mostly healthy things.

(All the food they have in the house that they think you shouldn't eat is safely locked in high cabinets).

[yurozo]

ink-related natural disasters (leon kennedy restaurant au oneshot)

summary: it's your first shift, and leon's been asked (ordered) to show you the ropes (fuck up tremendously in front of you on numerous occassions). no warnings, gn!reader.

a/n: my first request!! i hope you guys like it :D if y'all want me to continue the restaurant au let me know!

"does the cheese pizza have dairy?"

it's only half an hour into his shift, and leon's already contemplating on the different ways that he can permanently end his career in food service. lighting himself on fire in the middle of the floor is currently the most viable option, the candle is right there and if he moved his arm down just far enough-

"yes, ma'am. the cheese pizza does have dairy in it," he answers instead, mouth pinched into a thin smile. the pen between his fist cracks a little at the last word, earning a much easier end than the man holding it.

"then i won't get it," the woman says, looking back down at the menu with a huff. "i'm allergic."

for all of leon's strength, he can't help the little sigh that comes out of his mouth then. the man sitting at his table gives him a sympathetic look, and it's only then that leon does actually feel a bit bad.

not only does he have to deal with a woman who apparently never passed third grade english, he's currently responsible for training the new person coming in tonight. in all honesty, he's not quite sure why wesker gave him the responsibility. he's certainly hasn't been here the longest, not the most strict, and about three shattered glasses currently in the garbage isn't exactly giving a testimony to his self-assurance.

he's fucked. leon's going to have some half-baked college kid show up, stand behind him ominously all night, and ask questions until his head hurts. wesker didn't even allow him the chance to say no-- just glaring through the world's darkest sunglasses before storming off to his own office.

the only hope for him is that the tips are decent enough for him to put up with it.

the woman sitting in front of him, who he has so aptly named public enemy number one, finally finishes her order. leon offers a quick goodbye, snapping the notepad shut with his best attempt at a smile. he walks away, looking for the next open source flame is until he freezes right as claire walks by him.

what might just be the most beautiful person he's ever seen in his life is currently at the front entrance.

you're there, chatting with jill at the hostess stand with a nervous smile on your face and a notebook tucked to your chest. as cliche as it is, the restaurant really does seem to come to a standstill-- conversation seems to dim, everything seems to move in slow motion, and leon suddenly feels like air isn't getting into his chest.

if you're actually the new hire, he is truly and royally fucked.

claire giggles to herself as she finally breezes past him, muttering something under her breath that goes completely over his head. he couldn't give less of a shit what she's saying, because now jill's pointing at him, and you're looking at him with a smile and bright eyes.

it's a miracle he isn't a puddle on the floor yet, but that's neither here nor there. not when you're now walking towards him, and leon still hasn't thought of something cool to say.

"hi," you greet him softly, quickly rattling off your name and qualifications while leon is still a million miles away. "you're leon, right?"

he blinks at you slowly. "huh?"

"leon." you clarify, the slightest hint of a grin curling at your lips. jesus, you're cute even when you're clearly pitying him. "jill told me that i'm supposed to shadow you on the floor."

"i'm leon." the words leave his mouth a little too fast, the syllables blurring together in a barely perceptible haze. he gives himself a mental smack on the forehead. "i'll take care of you."

at least he has the mind to smile, even if the plastic of pen number two shatters completely in his fist.

-

he learns four things about you in the span of two hours. one, that you're incredibly smart. after about three tables you've already picked up on the general routine, the menu prices, how to describe food that you don't even eat.

two, you have a great sense of humour. or he's just on a roll with his jokes. regardless, you've laughed at every shitty one-liner that left his mouth tonight, and leon feels like he's on cloud nine.

number three, you're gorgeous, and in a way that everyone else is noticing too. tables are significantly nicer to him when you're standing politely behind, as if they too want to be on their best behaviour to win your approval. get in line, he always thinks bitterly.

and finally, you're friendly in a way that almost infuriates him. mostly because he can't tell if he's actually winning brownie points with you, or you're just entertaining the man training you. every piece of information about yourself is carefully folded and tucked away in his brain for safekeeping, just in case its the former.

"you know, i should set you up with my daughter, i think you'd love her." the old lady at his table speaks up, reaching across the table to pat his arm. "she's a real gem."

"okay," leon sighs, "how about instead, i get you that appetizer?"

you stifle a laugh behind him, but he can still feel the puff of air on his back. leon can feel you move behind him until your head is peeking over his shoulder, pretending to be very interested in whatever he's writing on the ticket.

you're so close-- he can feel your hair brushing against his cheek, feel the warmth of your shoulder right against his back, and thats when disaster strikes.

ever so glorious pen number three creaks under the weight of his grip, before pronouncing its death by exploding ink all over both his hands and the ticket. all he can do is mutter some half-formed apology to his table before running to the bathroom with his metaphorical tail between his legs. you follow closely behind, but not before giving the customers an apologetic smile and a sickly-sweet apology.

again, infuriating. been here a couple hours and you're more of a natural than he is.

any hope of brownie points with you is draining alongside the ink dripping onto the ceramic. when he looks up at himself in the mirror, he can't help but internally cringe at his appearance. fully-formed eyebags, hair tousled from a nervous habit he's too tired to break, and now ink all over his sole work shirt. he's been looking like this in front of you this whole time, no wonder you probably think he's truly lost his mind.

you appear behind him through the mirror, just over his shoulder again. "you really should take it easy on the pens. they didn't do anything wrong."

a half-hearted laugh rings between the both of you. you reach for the paper towels to start getting some of the blue residue off. the way you touch him is soft, way too caring for someone you just met. he thinks that's the part he likes the most so far.

the heart on your sleeve, not too unlike his own.

"so much for taking care of you, huh?" he chuckles, staring down at the way your hand is holding his with the other rubbing the ink off his palm.

"you did great, don't worry," you smile, glancing up at him. "let me return the favour."

-

still trying to will the blush off his face, leon furiously uncrumples the ticket and sticks it in front of luis.

"sancho, what the hell is this?"

"it's the order for 37, what does it look like?" he barks back, a little too harshly for something that is most definitely his fault. if luis is offended by his tone of voice he certainly doesn't show it, just tilting his head at leon like he's got him all figured out.

"it looks like you wrote this with the pen in your mouth," he laughs, sticking it above him anyway. "what's got you so distracted?"

before leon can give him some sort of half-witted answer, ada steps up to the counter, glaring at the piece of paper above her like it personally offended her. "you're an idiot, kennedy."

leon just sighs, "tell me something i don't know."

[myfandomrealitea]

Pre-emptively blocking people is good for everyone.

Seriously. The amount of times I see people whining or laughing about being blocked when they 'haven't even done anything' just tells me that not many of you know its actually a really good way to properly curate your online space, and its not something to be offended over.

Blocking is a form of protection. Its also a form of mutual protection.

Especially on websites that don't offer more extensive or usable filtering, tagging and avoidance options. Twitter, for example.

Blocking isn't some personal insult. Its a method of saying; hey, we clearly shouldn't interact, so I'm gonna build this soundproof wall between us to make sure we can't.

To use The Salmon Analogy, if I run a restaurant based on salmon as the main ingredient, and you're allergic or or severely dislike salmon, me refusing to serve you isn't a personal sleight. Its me recognising that you can't or really don't want to eat salmon, and its me protecting you from an unpleasant experience and myself from you inevitably screaming at me for serving salmon.

If you are someone who enjoys 'objectionable' content, such as gore, and you stumble across an extremely anti-gore blog, its absolutely a viable option to pre-emptively block them. Maybe your paths never would've crossed, but its better to ensure they don't than potentially wind up the victim or hate or harassment.

Blocking is an absolute sure-fire way to ensure that you do not see something you do not want to. It should be used as liberally as you want to.

[tiredfox64]

Liu Kang × unimpressed person that does their best to make fun of him. If you could do him and a girl who could not care less hes a god and instead is making fun of his bob and the fact that he seems allergic to shirts given that he cant wear more than 75% of one at aany given time

I'm Not Impressed

Yip notes: I feel bad when I have to fake being impressed. It's a lot of "Really?!" which is the equivalent of "That's crazy"

Pairing: Liu Kang (MK1) x Afab reader

Warning‼️: I never warn about my language, second half not proofread cause I was in class

So god comes to your door one night and tells you that he wants you to be one of his champions. Right, okay, cool.

…

Cool? Sweetie, that’s your creator right there. Your creator asked YOU to be one of his champions to fight another realm. Did you need time to process that or…no, alright…I don’t know why I am trying to talk to you.

You’re not the kind to marvel at Liu Kang not that he asks for that. You’re not all that impressed. Sure, he’s the god of fire but if you think about it hard enough you could extinguish him with a fire extinguisher.

Let’s get this straight, you’re not undermining him at all. You understand that he could still beat your ass terribly. Nobody wants a burst ass. But you’re just not someone who is easily impressed. Some think you are plain rude. Some think you aren’t entirely neurotypical. You don’t see it that way, this is just who you are. You find it would be ruder to pretend to be impressed. This rule applies to everyone, not just Liu Kang. Even your family understands that about you.

Liu Kang could see that you weren’t like Johnny who didn’t believe Liu Kang at first. He knew you understood that he was the god of fire and the protector of Earthrealm. That didn’t stop you from making comments though.

Even after first introducing himself you made it clear that you didn’t care who he was. I mean you were outright ready to start shit the moment you opened the door.

“Who the fuck did your hair?” You said the moment your eyes landed on him.

“I beg your pardon?”

You saw his glowing eye go wide before narrowing in disappointment. He was hoping your comment was because you wanted to drive him away. A little tease like that won’t drive him away. So he explained the whole god thing and the protector bullshit to you.

“Oh yeah? Is that right?” Your tone was not rude you were actually asking if what he just said was the truth.

“Yes. Please, I must discuss important matters with you. May I enter?” He asked in his gentle voice.

“I mean, whatever, sure. But don’t try anything stupid I won’t hesitate to beat your ass.” You warned the literal fire god himself.

You believed everything he was saying which was surprising. If he could make himself burst into flames right in front of your eyes, you’d believe anything he says. You accepted his offer to go to the Wu Shi to train. It’s for a good cause so whatever. You could get out of the house.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

Poor Liu Kang, you never give him a break.

You always find something about him to make fun of. It could be his hair, his clothes, his face in general. You were warned to be more respectful of him. In a way, you do respect him by listening to what he has to say and the advice he gives you. But that doesn’t stop you from pointing out some silly things.

For example, his hair. You’re always pointing out the bun in the back. It does nothing. His hair is still down and possibly getting in the way. And when he mentioned to you all that he used to have a bob cut, hah, fuck him he shouldn’t have said it. You snorted the moment you heard that. You laughed at the thought of it because you could never understand why he would have that cut. Good thing he didn’t mention what color it used to be; he would never hear the end of it.

You also make fun of his facial expressions. He’s calm and you know it. But his resting face seems so disappointing. When he’s disappointed, like when Johnny doesn’t take something seriously, it adds more fuel to the fire. You only figured out the difference when you first said something.

“Well, ain’t you just a ray of fuckin sunshine. Why are you so upset?” You asked as you looked at everyone else training. They seem to be doing fine, what does he have to be upset about?

When you looked back at him you saw his eyebrows were more furrowed and you could see the corners of his mouth tip down. Now he was upset. He was upset with your assumption.

“I am only displeased with your attitude. I was fine beforehand.”

“Oh so you just look like that.”

May the elder gods help this man.

You watched him roll his eyes as he grimaced at your attitude. He pointed at the others to signal you to return to training. You put your hands up like you didn’t just insult this man’s face. He could see that smug fucking grin on your face.

His clothes though, ugh, that is so easy to poke at. It’s like he’s allergic to covering up. You would expect some modesty from a god but you could always be wrong.

You found it funny that the sleeves were rolled up. The shirt is already short-sleeved but apparently it’s not short enough for Liu Kang. If you wore your button-up shirts like he wears his you would be called a slut. Side titties would be shamed in this Academy except by Johnny, he would welcome it.

At first, you thought he purposely got a shirt that was too small for him. The sleeves looked like they struggled to contain his muscles. Those things are bound to rip if he flexes a little too much. Oh but remember he’s “modest” so he would never do that. No, no, he’s too modest to gloat but not modest enough to cover up. And to answer your question, no, his shirt is not too small. In fact, it might be his size. He’s scrunching it from the back.

Why it took you so long to notice you had no idea. You were more focused on the front and not the back.

You only noticed when he was explaining to all of you why the Mortal Kombat tournament was important, something about making sure those Outworld fuckers stay back. You were staring at the back of his head before lowering your gaze. Wow, he has a nice ass OH something is up with his shirt look at that. How could your eyes not be drawn to that area. The red sash wrapped around his waist called for your attention. His shirt was bunched up in the back. It’s like those girls who would tie a hair tie at the back of their shirt to make it squeeze against their body which just made it funnier.

As you all gathered to figure out who would be the true champion, you decided to stand near Liu Kang instead of with everyone else. Johnny had already aggravated him from the start so a fire was already going. Oof that eye-roll and grimace came from the soul. He was already side eyeing you as you scooched over to him. Before you could say something he was ready to interrupt you.

“Please act well today. Do not provoke me.”

“I wasn’t gonna provoke you, damn. I just wanted to ask you if you’re feeling a little cold?”

He wasn’t confused, he knew you were starting something. His hand went up to his forehead as he leaned against the armrest. He’s so tired.

“I’m just asking cause, ya know, you could easily button up that-“

“Enough!” He pushed your hand away which was slowly inching towards his chest.

“I’m just trying to help. You could easily button up if you untuck your shirt. Here.” You reached towards his back and started to untuck his shirt from the tight red sash.

“By the Elder Gods, you are out of your mind!”

It became a scuffle between you and Liu Kang as he tried his absolute best to stay calm. The monks that were near were either occupied with Raiden beating Johnny’s ass or trying to avoid being stepped on by you. Once you got it untucked he was mentally defeated. Liu Kang gave up, you won.

“See, now we can button that up. No need to show the universe your man tits.” You used the loops on his right side to hook the buttons.

He let it happen. His eyes stared straight ahead, not at the fight but past the horizon. Where did he go wrong? Why him?

You stared down at him, waiting for any other reaction than that blank stare. All you got was him holding his hand out to tell you to fight Raiden. You looked over to see that Johnny was flat on his back, clearly the loser of the fight. You shrugged and made your way over. He clearly didn’t want to talk to you. Now time to get your ass beat.

No, you will not win this match. You were never gonna win this match. You got your ass handed to you by a simple farmer who speaks softly. And could call Liu Kang cruel or even sadistic for how he was feeling. But by the gods was he satisfied by seeing that fight. Karma!

Yap notes: Yeah so I died whoops lol. Nah but I'm glad to get another fic out and hopefully I start feeling better soon. Uni is killing me this semester ugh. Maybe I’ll make a post explaining more. Adiós!