#I��m sorry tumblr ily!!!
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Me, coming back to Tumblr after over a week just to post 'I think I got a good grade in therapy today - something both normal to want and possible to achieve'
Actually, I've been rather depressed lately, which is why I haven't been here, and I am still struggling with depression, but yeah.
#crystal visions of lilies in the valley#I've missed you all. I've just been depressed and the things that normally make me happy aren't helping as much lately#including Tumblr which is why I haven't been here.#besides; no one wants to read my ungodly lengthy thinkpieces on Big Country (of which I've actually only written one#I guess but still have not actually finished - hi M. you know the piece I'm talking about 😅 ).#I'm just struggling with my mental health which also makes my motivation to do stuff I usually like to do way worse#so yeah I'm sorry 😓 but ILY all
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Thank you to everyone who got us to 500 likes!
#500 likes#tumblr milestone#thank you#ayooooooo swag -mod ex#also sorry for not answering a few asks- we’ve either been busy or not mentally and/or emotionally able to answer them the past few days#so i’ve just been leaving them to hels lmao -mod ex#ex ily but i say this as politely as i can. you've been making me answer things that make me sad :( -Mod Hels#m sorry-/gen m just not good with words and answering stuff like that :[ -mod ex
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crappymixtape's holiday celebration
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ . A V E R Y M E R R Y M I X T A P E . ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇
you've arrived on tumblr today to find a neatly wrapped package waiting for you – all golds and reds and greens with a glittery bow on top – and when you open it up you find a mixtape. the writing on top loops and scrawls across the label, stickers of snoopy in a santa hat covering some of the letters, and when you pop it into the player you hear your favorite songs come to life.
it sounds like sitting by the fire with warm cup of hot cocoa, steve in the kitchen singing along with burl ives, silver and gold decorations, on every christmas tree – it sounds like eddie settled in next to you on the sofa, pressing kisses to your forehead and whispering in your ear, merry christmas, baby.
this is for you, my loves! a little celebration for us and our boys and this wonderful time of year. i'll be posting once a week – on fridays – throughout all of december with requests i've gotten and a few of my own ideas. you can find the playlist below!
THE PLAYLIST ( fic release dates noted below )
GOLD & GLITTER // 12.2 with steve for @superblysubpar 🎶 the nutcracker suite, tchaikovsky steve goes to the nutcracker ballet downtown every year, even has his own balcony seats – this year he brings you along as his date, but somehow you both miss the entire second act ( rich!steve harrington x reader • smut with a sprinkle of fluff ) BABY, ITS COLD OUTSIDE // 12.9 with steve for @sattlersquarry 🎶 baby it's cold outside, frank sinatra & dorothy kirsten it's been snowing all day, enough to snap the power lines and make the lights go out, and when steve comes over to build you a fire you can't think of a more perfect time to exchange gifts ( steve harrington x reader • pure fluff ) I WANT YOU THE MOST // 12.16 with steve for @palmtreesx3 🎶 rockin’ around the christmas tree, brenda lee steve's never been kissed under the mistletoe, what kind of girlfriend would you be if you didn't make it memorable? ( established relationship, tiny bit of fluff, lots of snark, sprinkle of smut, steve x reader ) HOME TO ME // 12.23 with eddie from me, xoxo 🎶 christmas time ( don't let the bells end ), the darkness eddie has to work on christmas eve, so you climb into his bed and fall asleep, waiting for him until he gets home christmas morning to give him his present ( eddie munson x reader • fluff, smut, est. relationship ) CHRISTMAS MAKES ME CRY // 12.30 with steve from me, xoxo 🎶 christmas, leona naess you go home with steve over christmas to finally meet his family and when it doesn't go as planned he feels like he's ruined everything, but you're there for him when he needs it most ( modern!steve harrington x reader • angst, hurt / comfort a little fluff, est. relationship )
LOVES FOR MY FAVORITE WRITERS you babes mean THE WORLD to me, oh my god, thank you so much for being here and for nerding out about this shit as much as i do! omg and for the enabling LOL. go follow all of these handles right now! ( and if i forgot anyone, i'm sorry ily too! )
☀ @inkluvs ☀ @fiveraccoonsinatrenchcoat ☀ @carolmunson ☀ @abibliophobiaa ☀ @dukesmebby ☀ @finalgirleddiemunson ☀ @curseofaphrodite ☀ @softharrington ☀ @starrystevie ☀ @acourtofsnakes ☀ @theshireisburning-so-mordoritis ☀ @a-dealwith-god ☀ @keeryshousee ☀ @lofaewrites ☀ @wroteclassicaly ☀ @katyswrites ☀ @schoopsahoy ☀ @andvys ☀ @chestylarouxx ☀ @supernovafics ☀ @superblysubpar ☀ @sswwmmpptthhnngg ☀ @harrywavycurly ☀ @thyme-in-a-bubble ☀ @lovebugism ☀ @sailor-steve-blog ☀ @sattlersquarry ☀ @plainemmanem ☀ @skullrock ☀
@curiositydooropened ☀ @luveline ☀ @stvharrngton ☀ @loveshotzz ☀ @forever-rogue ☀ @forevermoreharrington ☀ @livingintheupsidedown ☀ @annab-nana ☀ @familyvideostevie ☀ @theemporium ☀ @1986harrington ☀ @lucasnclair ☀ @roanniom ☀ @upsidedownwithsteve ☀ @stevebabey ☀ @starryeyedstories ☀ @kimmyiewrites ☀ @softharrington ☀ @hollandweather ☀ @palmtreesx3 ☀ @stevesbabysittingservice ☀ @princessdave ☀ @sweetsweetjellybean ☀ @fettuccin-e ☀ @usedtobecooler ☀ @aloneinthehellfire ☀ @poguemunson ☀ @myobmaya ☀ @reputationmunson ☀ @sincerelyyoursg ☀ @harringtons-cupid ☀ @spinmewriteround
AND HUGS TO YOU! YES, YOU! XOXO, 💿 KATE i absolutely cannot believe it's almost been a year since i've come back to this place and i have loved every single moment of it. making friends ( ily moots! ) seeing new faces ( nonnies you're my fav! ) and putting words to all of these characters we love so much. so just thank you, for everything, you're wonderful and i'm so glad you're here with me ♥️
✨ divider love to @saradika
#makeacrappymixtape#averymerrymixtape#requests#my asks#holiday celebration#steve harrington smut#steve harrington#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington stranger things#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington x reader#eddie munson stranger things#eddie munson imagine#eddie x reader#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson smut#eddie munson#stranger things#steve stranger things#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington x you#stranger things fanfiction#steve x you#steve harrington x fem#eddie fanfic#eddie stranger things
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what if six lives! mary had tumblr
yeah what if. that would be crazy lol
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🗝️ cross-marked-angel
daddy finally fucked off 🥳 pls wish him a good trip. i'm going live in ten
🗝️ cross-marked-angel
does @raccoongirlbush want to join.. the stream always makes more when we pretend to kiss 💛 i PROMISE i'll take you out later with the extra dono money, wear something nice!!!!
🦝 raccoongirlbush Follow
o7
🗝️ cross-marked-angel
anne i swear to lo!!! ok whatever click here to join the stream, i look forward to seeing all of you there~
#streams #i'm just kidding ily anne... #please accept dinner as my humble apology #i'll peg you later <3 #wait how many followers do i have on here again?
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🧡 menhera-prince-unlimited Follow
We're all seeing this, right? The fucking election results? I feel so bad for Rersetia, getting stuck with an Ally governor who does nothing but fear-monger and whine about the Overlifers-- all bark and no bite, that one. Unfortunately, woke little brats who don't know any better will flock to this one and decide it's a great victory instead.
I think I know what the next podcast episode will be about. It's about time we get the Allies to step down-- power doesn't mean competence. There are better people, with horns and tails, nothing but pure devil blood running through their veins, waiting for their chance out there, but when will Altos Diablos realize that?
🦌 allybentincksmain Follow
william please
🧡 menhera-prince-unlimited Follow
hans omg i forgot you followed me here haiiii ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
#hanni tag
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🤍 vitamarkedheart Follow
just seen the UGLIEST girl omg
🤍 vitamarkedheart Follow
bitches still go out like this.
🤍 vitamarkedheart Follow
wear green stockings or don't show your legs at all, fucking cow lol
🗝️ cross-marked-angel
on it bossman 🤍💚
🤍 vitamarkedheart Follow
wasn't talking to you. but can you dox that girl for me
#and then stop stalking my blog thank you #i love you princess <3 but get out #you are such a creep
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🦝 raccoongirlbush Follow
when is @/menhera-prince-unlimited going to come out with the Ally Bentinck sex tapes like we all know what he's hiding
#ally bentinck #religious posts #horny posts
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🐾 madwoofwoofspiritboy Follow
my girl got me a new collar :3 gonna post a pic later on the alt, horny timezone bitches are gonna have to wait
#m woof woofs
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🌠 lord-marlborough-official Follow
Please be normal about seeing James Stewart and I together tonight. For the last time, honestly...!
🌠 lord-marlborough-official Follow
Even just allegations of abuse can ruin a person's life, literally fuck off with that. You all think you know everything.
🗝️ cross-marked-angel
you fucking wish it was just allegations lol
🌠 lord-marlborough-official Follow
I thought I blocked you, did you make another account?
🗝️ cross-marked-angel
hehehe <3 you're amazing at changing the subject... it's why he loves you 💚
🌠 lord-marlborough-official Follow
High again? @vitamarkedheart can you come deal with her now?
#sorry about this lol #don't believe them for a second #or her for that matter #marly reblogs
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💌 idolofthedevils Follow
HELLO Everyone I must Tell You NOW!!!!11 That none other than Next Month, Devils Willing,,, I will have a NEW FEATURE (๑>◡<๑) for the Pup Hoods that you all so Adore very very Very very much~ for the first time Everrrr <3 now you shall ALLLL have the option to pay for ☆Custom☆ Pup Hoods up on the site, at the LOW low Low price of an extra Twenty Guilders ♡ ~('▽^人) and nouuu Additional Wait :3 doesn't that sound great n amazing n Everything you ever wanted???? Stop moping around, Get it up, let me see you all Happy now ( ◡‿◡ ) you weird Furries with Fursonas may join in the Celebrations naowwwww~
I love you all Forever and ever ♡\(��▽ ̄)/♡ please make me very Happy and very much Richer!!!!! TOO!!!
#business spam #small business #JUST KIDDING FUCKETTES!!!! #you wish you were me #go make monopolies elsewhere ily <3
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🫁 nassauphilia Follow
sometimes I miss the feeling of knowing that at least death is a certainty
🗝️ cross-marked-angel
it can still be one 😘
🫁 nassauphilia Follow
is that supposed to be comforting or a threat??
#and how did u find my vent blog
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🦌 allybentincksmain Follow
The word of the Western Kingdom today is to have UNPROTECTED SEX 🙏🔥!!! Please enjoy yourselves, suck a lot of dick for good luck 🧡!!
#i love you all <3
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🩸 tail-tangled-of-este Follow
hot take, maybe, but I think they should bring back teaching Messianic in schools. you can't take children to a museum and expect them to be moved at the valiance of the devils when they don't know what the angels wanted.
#i don't remember who taught it to me but i am eternally grateful #maria.txt
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#unreality#suggestive#tw implied abuse#i feel like william's first post deserves a tag for how annoying it is#but idk how to tag fictional conservatives#so#ask to tag#six lives won't make you happy#revealing urls tomorrow if u guys are confused
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Gyutaro x reader requests :3
Requests are; Open!!
Hello hello hello!!! If u know me, u know I love Gyutaro (a concerning amount but hey we all have our struggles)
I most likely will not do full entire fanfictions but rather little headcannons/senarios. I’ve done these on my wattpad so for reference this is what I mean by that (no need to actually read this it’s just to show how i do my shit lol) but if you request something and I REALLLYY like the idea or if I’m pumped full of motivation, I might do a full one.
Edit; okay!! What the fart! The link won’t work ig no reference for yall
Here are some guidelines for what I will/wont write, and then under that I’ll set up a little master-List ^_^
Also sen I know you frequent tumblr and the ds tag aswell so helloo! Hello hello!! Ily!! :3
_______
What I will definitely write!! (If it’s not on here I can try, but this is stuff I definitely will do!!)
-Fluff, I love love LOVE toothrotting fluff
-Angst, depending on how mentally stable I currently am when writing
-Hurt comfort LOVE LOVE LOVEEEE hurt comfort
-Reader w disabilities
-Phobias
-Disorders
-Readers who have gone through past grooming/abuse (I feel u yall ❤️)
-Gore (it’s demon slayer like cmon it’s gonna happen at some point when it comes to something)
-Cannibalism (same sitch as gore, demons n stuff bro)
-Human reader
-Demon reader
-Yokai reader
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What I won’t/can’t do
-NSFW!! I am a minor :3 (ofc I can leave jokes or mentions of shit but I’m not gonna actually post nsfw as a minor)
-M! reader (sorry I just gen suck w it and I’m mostly writing these 4 me, I’m sorry 💔 this does not apply to mtf trans topics!! ❤️)
-Depictions of something unhealthy (grooming, gaslighting, abuse, manipulation, pedophilla, not cool stuff!! I can write this in hurt comfort/taking about trauma but I will NEVER make it something to actually do w the relationship)
-Yandere stuff (though I love this as a horror idea, a lot of ppl actually enjoy romanticizing yandere stuff which classifies as romanticizing abuse. That is totally not cool!! I hate writing that stuff bc it normalizes those topics to younger ppl reading which is dangerous!)
-Incell shit. I’ve seen too many ppl on here go ‘oh Gyutaro is an incell’ ‘I fought the incell accusations and lost’ well I DIDNT. I don’t care about the plot at all, Gyutaro literally RAISED A GIRL. IN THE RED LIGHT DISTRICT. He literally taught her to defend herself against creepy men!! Like cmon guys use critical thinking and common sense pls 😭😭
_______
I do not know how frequently I will be able to post/write. My life is literally in limbo rn and I am prioritizing myself‼️‼️
If you wanna ask just send it in as a question for my blog, I can work w it that way. Idk if that’s how ppl usually do it or not I’m new to tumblr but fuck it we ball 🔥🔥
And I am posting this 10 minutes before new years, let’s kick 2024 off with scribbles about our favorite demon boy!! <3
_______
Masterlist!! (Hc / fanfiction
!Human Gyu with an !upper moon reader
Random self indulgent fluff fanfiction
How Gyutaro would like to cuddle
Comforting him with snuggles n praise
Braids
Gyutaro with an !artist reader who has Gyutaro as their main muse
#gyutaro#gyutaro demon slayer#gyutaro x reader#gyutaro x you#fanficton#x reader#demonslayer#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny x reader#kny#demon slayer x reader#kimetsu no yabia x reader#gyutaro shabana#male wife#oh my god I’m litteraly in LOVE with this man
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the sanguine thread that binds our fate
@crash-bump-bring-the-whump asked:
21 “Please be okay. Please be okay, please be okay—” with dealer's choice for oc c:
a/n: this got. very long lol and tumblr ate the version i answered your ask with i'm sorry :/ i edited it all over again just for you
tumblr hates my experimental prose so please do read it on ao3 if you can ily
contains: mild gore, nausea (no vomiting), panic attacks, prescription benzos, car accident, m/m romance, blood drinking, alcohol
did my best to make sure the gist of all the code segments were properly explained in the prose so that if you're not programmer brained it makes sense still lol. temperature units are kelvin, all velocities in m/s, force in newtons, BAC in mg/dL.
Takes place during the Divine Descension arc, during which the Archfey gives up aer divinity for a year to live with Thanatos on Kepler 22-b, a human colony designed to replicate the late 90s/early 00s. Ae works at a coffee shop and goes to a knitting club. :) not relevant i just thought you should know
Rea liked it when Thanatos came to walk aer home from work. Ae was perfectly capable of making the journey on aer own, of course — it was only twenty minutes and ae could actually cross the street without supervision — but when Thanatos came, they could walk with their fingers laced together and he would smile while he told aer about his day in the office or at home and it always seemed as if nothing could be wrong in the world.
ambient.temperature = 298 proximity.scan(Thanatos[lover]) = true return emotional.state(happy!)
It was a bit strange thinking of aerself as "Rea." Ae always called aerself Space in aer own head, because that was what Time called aer, but ae was certainly not the Divine Reality or even the Archfey in this so-much-more-mortal body. Rea wondered sometimes if ae was truly experiencing what it was like to be human, or if it was merely what it felt like to be a sapient concept with its soul bonded to an artificially-woven human brain. Ae would never know anything different, so ae supposed it didn't matter. Ae liked being Thanatos's Rea. The concept-made-human turned in lazy circles, passing Thanatos's hand from one of aer own to the other as ae revolved aer way down the street
angular.velocity = 63 linear.velocity = 1.2 radiant.temperature[Thanatos[lover].hand] = 302 return emotional.state(happy!!)
"Rea." Oh, yes. Thanatos was talking now. Time to pay attention. Thanatos's image tilted slightly as ae halted aer spinning to look at him.
system[vestibular].recalibrate()
"Yes, my love?" Ae grinned. Couldn't help it, really. Seeing his face had that effect on aer.
He smiled a little too. "I'm glad you're having fun, but we need to cross the street now, all right? We need to be careful."
"Can I press the button, Thanatos?"
"Yes, you can press the button. And then we're going to look both ways, right?"
Ae laughed. "Of course, my love. Look both ways carefully. I have not been hit before, have I?" Ae'd only jumped out into the street once chasing a butterfly, and now he had to behave this way every time. Rea had just forgotten ae wasn't the Archfey at the time. A concept could get very used to being indestructible.
Ae pushed the button. A robotic male voice indicated that the two of them should "wait." Rea slipped one hand into the pocket of aer khaki slacks and the other into Thanatos's hand. He squeezed back and gave aer a smile, though the brown eyes behind his spectacles were gazing off into the distance and bringing his thoughts with them. What was he thinking about? Ae couldn't feel his soul now the way ae could when ae was Reality. It was… strange. As excited as ae was for all the new ways ae could experience Thanatos now that ae was mortal, ae missed that. Knowing when he was hiding his feelings. Seeing through his little lies. Not that ae couldn't do that now. It was just a slightly more troublesome matter of analyzing his facial expressions and tone of voice. That was all right. Rea was here to learn, after all.
Thanatos[lover].soul.resonance = NULL visual.input[walk.sign.status] = "red" Thanatos[lover].get(emotional.state).ping(callback()) self.interoception.alert(hungry) Thanatos[lover].fetch(emotional.state) = {positive, pensive, loving} action.required = none return emotional.state(happy!)
The walk sign changed to the white figure of a man mid-stride. Rea had asked Thanatos about this, and he had explained that it was an indicator to people who may not read the local language that it was safe to proceed. Rea did not read any language, but it didn't matter, because Thanatos was there, and he could. The two of them looked both ways, Thanatos normally, and Rea in a comically exaggerated manner calculated to get him to laugh, and then he led aer into the street. This was a quiet road close to the apartment complex, and there were no indications that there had been anyone down it for several minutes at least.
"What do you think about Brian's tonight, dearheart?" Thanatos said suddenly, breaking his train of thought. "Put you in something nice, take you out on the town? Maybe a movie after?"
A date! Thanatos was going to take aer out on a date! And to aer favorite restaurant too. Ae still got just as excited about it every time, even after all the millennia they'd spent together. "Yes, yes! I am hungry. Should I wear the blue dress? Or the argyle sweater? And can we see the one with the Matthew Damon? I like that one. Or we could- oof!" Ae sat down hard on the pavement, the tender flesh of aer wrists scraping open and sending shocks of pain up aer arms.
self.interoception.alert(pain!!!) self.damage.percentile = 10 update.status(injured[dermal.hand[quan=2]]) analysis(cause[injury])) = fall analysis(cause[fall])) = Thanatos[lover].push[force=68] analysis(cause[Thanatos[lover].push]).ping(callback()) return emotional.state(confusion)
What had happened?
visual.input[identify.shape] = "ford f-150" vehicle.speed = 35.9 self.danger.percentile = 92 analysis(cause[Thanatos[lover].push]) = reduce(self.danger.percentile) Thanatos[lover].danger.percentile.ping(callback()) proximity.scan(Thanatos[lover]).ping(callback()) proximity.scan(Thanatos[lover]) = false proximity.scan(Thanatos[lover]).ping(callback()) return emotional.state(panic!!)
It was so much information all at once, ae was struggling to process it all. There had been… a car? And Thanatos had… pushed aer out of the way. Where was he? Where was Thanatos? The truck had come out of nowhere. Ae hadn't sensed it at all, and Thanatos must not have either, or he would have done something before he did. He had enhanced hearing, heightened reflexes. Rea didn't, ae was a mere mortal now. Where was he? Where was he?
Focus. What did ae remember? Ae'd turned back to talk to him, he'd pushed aer in the chest, ae'd… seen the truck hit him. By the celestial river. Ae'd seen it hit him. He'd been sent… flying… calculate the angle. Probable trajectory. There!
visual.input[identify.shape] = Thanatos[lover] Thanatos[lover].danger.percentile = 40 Thanatos[lover].damage.percentile = 70 visual.input[identify] = Thanatos[lover].blood!!! Thanatos[lover].soul.resonance = NULL return emotional.state(panic!!!!)
Oh, gods, he was a mess. Skin already starting to purple, limbs sticking out at unnatural angles, blood streaming from his temple and his nose. It looked like he'd tried to shield himself with Shadow, but hadn't been able to get enough of a barrier up in time to make a difference. He wasn't conscious. He wasn't breathing. Rea couldn't breathe. Aer eyes prickled with tears that quickly obscured aer vision and flowed down aer cheeks to splash Thanatos's face. Was he dying? Was he dead? No, surely not. He was a vampire. Blunt force couldn't just kill them. He'd told aer that. They needed silver or to cut out the heart with wood. His heart! Was it intact?
His tie was ruined, of course, and ae pulled it off, extremely aware of the bruising on Thanatos's throat and the conspicuous stillness of his chest. He didn't need to breathe. Ae knew that. But he almost always did, unless he was doing something that would be easier without it. Would they ever…? No. Can’t think about that. Check his heart. His sweater-vest was torn already, and ae didn't know why ae was so painstaking in unbuttoning his shirt when it was clearly ruined. A horrible purple-and-black bruise spread over Thanatos's chest, but there was nothing that could have impaled his heart. He was safe. Wasn't he?
Thanatos[lover].soul.resonance = NULL analysis(predict("life without Thanatos")).ping(callback()) Thanatos[lover].damage.percentile = 80 analysis(predict()) = exception.failed Thanatos[lover].soul.resonance = NULL
Thanatos's left arm wasn't broken, and ae delicately took his hand in aer own and lifted it to aer lips, still struggling to process what was happening. He couldn't leave aer like this. He had to be safe. "Please, Thanatos," ae whispered, "please be all right… Please wake up. I cannot—I am not ready to go on without you. I cannot… do this alone, please, Thanatos, I need you—" His sleeve slid downward with the movement, revealing the jade bracelet containing the Divine Reality's power. Ae could take it, give up aer mortality and get aer soulweaving back, maybe be able to do something for him. He wouldn't want aer to do it. He'd guarded the power so carefully, kept it out of the hands of both usurpers and Rea aerself. They'd both been so determined to finish the experiment. But if he needed aer, then the experiment would just have to be a wash. Ae had the rest of eternity to experience humanity. He only had one life.
Thanatos[lover].soul.weave(form[physical].repair) return error("access denied. requires administrator permissions.") initiate("DivineReality.runtime") error = "ACCESS DENIED" await(input(JADE.BRACELET.AUTH.KEY)).ping(callback()) return auth.output("authenticating...")
Rea pressed aer fingers to the stone, awaiting the surge of magic that would signal the return of the Divine Reality, but instead of the hot burst of power, ae felt cold fingers grasping at aer wrist. "What are you doing, my love?" The effect of Thanatos's admonishing tone was rather diminished by the way it scraped from his battered throat and had him hacking up chunks of tissue afterward. Rea screamed, then burst into tears.
"Divines, I thought you were dead! How could you do this to me? You are so cruel!" The words were familiar, a staple in their arguments, filling space while ae tried to gather aer scrambled wits. "I -I wanted to help you. I thought that if I got my power back I could-"
"Shh, love, it's all right." His voice could always soothe aer, as damaged as it was. "Vampire, remember? If a little blunt force could kill me permanently, I wouldn't have made it this far. I just lost consciousness for a moment, that's all."
How could he be so calm? Half of his bones were broken, he must have been in a monumental amount of pain. It was even his broken arm he was gripping aer wrist with. Was he used to this? Was this what the war had been like for him? Ae felt so useless and lost. He was always there for aer and ae could never help him when he needed it. Aer mental processes were sparking and stalling, ae needed his direction, anything to make it all stop. "W-What do I do? How do I help you? Than, I-"
Thanatos smiled gently up at aer. "Breathe, dearheart. It's nothing a bit of blood can't cure. Let's focus on getting me out of the street so someone doesn't try to hospitalize me, mm?" Rivulets of his liquid Shadow were already flowing out to drag his shattered limbs back into position. He was so brave. "Don't think I'll be walking any time soon. Are you well enough to carry me? Don't worry, I don't think I could be in much more pain than I already am…" So he could feel it. Was he staying strong just for aer?
Wordlessly, mechanically, Rea lifted Thanatos into her arms. The familiar movement felt so horrifically wrong. Ae'd carried him thousands of times: to the bedroom for sex, back to his own bed after, to the sitting room to watch television together when his curse ailed him, into and out of the bath, just for fun. Without the kisses and laughter, with him so awfully still, trying not to alert her to his suffering, it was of no comfort, and sent lances of distress through aer heart. Ae blanked out between the street and balancing him on aer knee to fit the keys in the lock. A singular directive, “get Thanatos home,” held system failure at bay. Once the door had closed behind aer and ae'd laid Thanatos carefully on the couch, though, it all caved in.
system.respiratory.exception = "conflicting input data" system.motor.exception = "system memory low" sensory.input.exception = "conflicting input data" analysis(cause(system.error)).ping(callback()) error = "analysis failed. system memory low" system.process[sort=memory][0] = "panic.runtime" forcequit(panic.runtime) error = "panic.runtime failed to quit" admin.override(forcequit(panic.runtime)) error = "panic.runtime failed to quit" admin.override[master](forcequit(panic.runtime)) error = "panic.runtime failed to quit"
Ae crashed to aer knees, choking on nothing with a fresh flood of tears blurring aer vision. Aer ears rang and her lungs spasmed. Eyes squeezed shut, swallowing fitfully against nausea. Ae hated when this happened. Ever since the kidnapping, those three nights when ae thought ae'd never see Thanatos again, the panic would claw at aer chest and strangle aer at the worst times. At least ae could let him out of aer sight without breaking down, now, but what if this reset all aer progress? Rea felt like aer mind was shaking itself apart.
"-ea? Rea! Reality, come back to me, come on!" It was Thanatos's voice. Thanatos's hand on aer cheek. Thanatos's patient concern grounding aer for a moment. "Where are your pills, Rea?"
The Xanax. Yes. It could stop this. "In the drawer…"
"Get them. Take your pills, darling. While they kick in, I'll take a little drink, and that should help, too. I'll be fine here for the few seconds it'll take you to retrieve them. Go on, Rea. Keep breathing. We're okay." Yes. Ae'd take the medicine, and then ae could help Thanatos…
Aer hands shook as ae turned the white tablet out into aer palm and swallowed it dry. Returned and sat on the floor in front of the couch, aer back to Thanatos. Executing commands in sequence. Running in standby mode. The gentle kiss and whispered "easy, love" that Thanatos pressed into aer neck before his fangs sliced through both the flesh and the alarms going off in aer mind were a shield against the relentless thoughts. His venom filled aer veins and everything stopped.
self.interoception.alert(pain) self.damage.percentile = 2 update.status(injured[dermal.neck])) analysis(cause(injury)) = Thanatos[lover].feed() self.danger.percentile = 0 Thanatos[lover].input(venom.runtime) self.venom.concentration = effective.percentile[60] error = "panic.runtime failed" system.alert("reduce euphoriant concentration before running panic.runtime") system.process[sort=memory][0].ping(callback()) error = "failed to sort. complex processes restricted." return emotional_status(hazy[positive])
"I love you, Thanatos. Thank you," Rea whispered, and though he couldn't answer, the soft chuckle and gentle squeeze of aer shoulder were enough of a response. Despite his calm demeanor, the desperation in his swallows and the way he trembled against aer back betrayed just how badly he needed this. He must have been fighting so hard not to alarm aer. Rea loved this man with all of aer heart. This foray into mortality had put so much load on him, and he never once complained. Instead, he dressed aer in the mornings, cooked aer meals, helped with her nightmares and panic attacks, and still had time to both work and take her out on dates. He fought off those who wanted the Divine Reality's power for themselves, even though his offensive capabilities were relatively weak. He was incredible. Ae didn't deserve him.
Eventually, Thanatos's fangs detached from Rea's neck, and he sealed the wounds with his tongue, as was his habit. He let out a deep groan as he lay back on the couch, clearly exhausted but not wanting to take more than ae could give. He already looked better, with the bruises on his face and neck beginning to fade and his breath no longer crackling in his lungs. "I don't think I'm feeling Brian's tonight. What do you say we order in instead, eh, love?" he murmured with a smile, fingers pulling at aer sweater. Ae leaned into his touch.
"Pizza?" ae asked. "And box wine? And can we watch Sherlock Holmes? I will bathe you and change your clothes."
"Sure. And you don't have to do that, dearheart. I'll be walking on my own soon enough."
Ae shook aer head. "I want to. It’s the least I can do." He'd taken so much care of aer lately.
A chuckle and a kiss. "Very well, then.
self.interoception.status[hunger].ping(callback()) Thanatos[lover].soul.resonance = NULL proximity.scan(Thanatos[lover]) = true self.interoception.status[hunger] = 0 self.interoception.alert(full!!) self.interoception.alert(fatigue!) self.alcohol[blood].concentration = 0.06 emotional.state().ping(callback()) error = "failed to fetch. use analysis.parse(self.emotional.state) for complex data"
Thanatos hadn’t made it through the opening sequence before his eyes fluttered shut. Rea, with a stomach full of cheese and dough and a head full of boxed Bordeaux, felt aer eyes getting heavy as well. Sleeping on the couch next to him felt very… normal. Or at least as normal as a manifestation-turned-mortal dating a vampire could feel, probably. Ae could almost forget that half of aer lover's bones were shattered and that he'd likely need a few days before he could get out of bed. His chest rose and fell just as gently as it always had, with no indication that twenty minutes ago he'd been trying not to flinch as the last of his wounds clothed in the bath.
Bathing him had been an arduous affair during which ae was fairly certain he'd had a flashback induced by his own post-traumatic stress, as evidenced by the faint outline of a ritual sigil that appeared on his chest, the same way it did after his worst nightmares. He'd just gone silent and unresponsive, and all ae could do was finish as quickly as possible while trying not to jostle him too much. When he looked up at aer, ae couldn't tell if he was seeing his Rea or a stranger. To aer relief, he'd bounced back once he was clean and dry again, but the utter helplessness Rea felt in that moment was the most foreign emotion ae'd ever experienced.
Ae was the Divine Reality, the most powerful being in the universe. Fourteen billion years of being able to warp reality at a whim hadn't prepared her for four thousand with aer handsome vampire or even a single one as a mortal. Everything was new and loud and difficult, and without Thanatos at aer side, Rea might have given up on the whole thing and just chosen to wait out entropy in aer cottage. He'd changed everything, ae owed him so much, and right now, ae couldn't even protect him the way ae always had before. Ae was weak, useless. But he didn’t care. He'd never asked for much more than aer companionship, and that ae was determined to give, no matter what.
The television droned on and Thanatos began to snore softly. He'd be so embarrassed if he knew. Always so obsessed with his suave vampire image. Ae smiled gently, threaded aer fingers through his and let aerself drift, praying to whoever could hear (aerself? Time?) that whatever wind of fate had brought them together would not change.
taglist: @athenswrites, @albatris
#thanatos iuventus#the archfey reality#original fiction#my writing#writeblr#coy writes#whumpblr#coy whumps#wip: rwtv#divine descension arc#wip: ieiunusverse
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Breathe With Me Part II
Summary: Luke is determined that you end your day on a good, relaxed note. Pairing: Luke Skywalker x Gender Neutral!Reader Rating: M Warnings: crying/emotional reader, steamy makeout session, illusions to past/future smut (not described, just as in "this has happened before/could happen in the future"). A/N: Reposting AGAIN. Again, tried to write it so you can insert any era of Luke you want (no idea how soon after ANH he became a commander). Please let me know if you want a part 3 with Luke and reader's vacation! Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated. Masterlist can be found linked in my pinned post on my blog (which includes a link to part 1; Tumblr is weird about links with me sometimes and if I link things, it gets lost in the ether, so please take a look if you’re interested!). Enjoy!
***
You went to take a sip out of your water, sighing when only a few drops slid down your throat. You glanced at the empty mug and set it back down on the table harder than you meant to, wincing as Threepio startled and looked at you. “Sorry, didn’t mean to do that,” you mumbled, turning back to your datapad.
“Oh, it’s quite all right,” Threepio replied. Artoo whistled next to him.
You tried to concentrate on the files Leia had sent you, but everything was jumbling together into an incoherent mess in your mind. You set the pad down and leaned back in your chair, rubbing at your eyes as you looked around the mostly empty conference room back on the rebel base. “You know, you guys don’t have to stand here if you don’t want. I won’t mind if you need to leave.”
“Oh, well,” Threepio motioned to his companion, “Master Luke instructed us to stick close to you. He mentioned you’d been under a lot of stress and wanted us available to you in case you needed any assistance.”
Your heart swelled and you chewed on your fingernail, unsure what to say. He was always so sweet and thoughtful. “Do you know when he’ll be back?”
Artoo beeped as an arm shot out of one of his sockets, grabbing your empty mug by the handle and speeding out of the room. You watched him with a frown before returning your eyes to the protocol droid.
“Oh, I suppose it should be any minute now. I don’t believe they went far from base.”
You nodded your thanks, feeling tears fill your eyes as Artoo wheeled back over to you. He whirred softly as he set your now full cup of water back down on the table in front of you. You patted his head and smiled, picking up your datapad again to message Leia.
Will it be an issue if I get these files back to you tomorrow instead?
She replied instantly. Not at all. Is it bad again today?
Yeah. Really bad.
I’m sorry things got too hectic for a vacation once we all got back. I just freed up some time, so why don’t you let me take care of those files? If you send Threepio my way to help, it shouldn’t be an issue for me. Go get some rest. You’ve earned it. Luke is with me now giving a report. He’s almost done and I’ll send him your way as soon as we finish.
Thank you, ILYSM.
ILY too. Now go rest.
You sighed, sending Threepio to aid the princess as requested before trudging down the hall. Artoo stayed faithfully by your side, determined to carry your water for you. Since Luke had become a commander, he got his own small, but private quarters. You had your own bunk assigned to you with the others, but you frequented Luke’s room so often, people usually looked for you there first. You buzzed the code into the keypad—still feeling your stomach do somersaults at the fact that Luke made your name his passcode—and flopped down on the mattress.
You glanced around for a moment before burying your face in the pillow and letting the Jedi’s familiar scent wash over you. Doing all he did for the rebellion had its perks (mainly thanks to Leia): a double bed, his own private refresher complete with a bathtub (a small tub, but still a tub), a mini fridge, a small counter complete with storage, a kettle, and burner, and even a screen that came down out of the ceiling to go with his projector. It was initially intended for meetings with others off base, but you and Luke had used it for watching holos whenever you got the chance.
Artoo dimmed the lights as your eyes drooped, using one of his little arms once more to pull the blanket over you. He struggled with the thick material and you smiled, helping him pull it the rest of the way over your shoulders. “Thanks, buddy.”
He chirped happily before settling beside you to wait for Luke.
***
A gentle shake on your shoulder pulled you out of your slumber. You’d ended up crying yourself to sleep, the box of tissues Artoo had brought from the refresher still on the bed beside you. Luke sat beside you on the bed, staring down at you with concern as he moved the tissues to his nightstand and brushed some leftover tear tracks away with his thumb. “Hey, starflower.”
“Hi,” you warbled as he kissed your forehead.
He gently brushed your hair away from your face. “Guess what?”
“What?”
“Leia managed to get us both five days off.”
You stared at him in amazement. “Five? But won’t they need us? Especially you?”
“Things are calm enough now that they’ll manage.”
“But what if something happens?”
“Then they’ll call us, but Leia seems to think we’ll be fine. Even Mothma agreed. Now scoot over.”
You did as told and he climbed into the bed with you, pulling you tight against his chest. He kissed your forehead again, his hands gently wandering from your hair to your cheek, jaw, and neck. His fingers wrapped around the back, massaging the tension away. You weren’t sure how long you laid there, dozing on and off with Luke peppering your face with kisses and massaging your sore muscles. His soothing voice whispered sweet nothings in your ear as he nuzzled into you, smoothing a hand up and down your back and squeezing you tight.
“Does anything in particular sound good?” he asked. “Or do you want me to take the lead?”
“Um…” you hesitated. The dimmed lights made a blue, almost hyperspace-like glow in Luke’s room. That, combined with the steady beat of his heart against your ear, made you feel like you could breathe deeply for the first time in weeks. “I’m having trouble thinking right now, so do you…” you glanced up at him, “Do you mind taking the lead?”
“Of course I will.” His thumb brushed against your cheek before he left a soft kiss on your lips, then your nose, cheeks, and forehead. “Will you be okay if I get up and get some things ready for a few minutes?”
You nodded, reluctantly extracting yourself from his hold. He kissed the back of your hand as he slid out of bed, clinging to you until you were out of reach. He murmured a few things to his astromech that you ignored as you let your eyes slide closed again. You hugged Luke’s pillow to your chest, inhaling his scent and pretending he was still holding you. You heard him moving around the room, prying your eyes open long enough to see him rooting around in his mini fridge as Artoo whizzed down the hallway at top speed like he always did whenever Luke sent him on a mission. Their closeness made you smile as you closed your eyes again.
You had almost slipped into sleep again when you heard Artoo hustle back in with a series of excited beeps, followed by the sound of running water and a plunk. You opened your eyes to Luke gently stroking your cheek, tucking your hair behind your ear as he pulled you into a sitting position. “Mmkay, sweetheart, let’s get you out of these clothes.”
“Mmm, kinky.”
He chuckled. “Not like that.” He brushed his lips against your neck, just below your ear, as he helped you undo your pants. “But if you want, I’m more than happy to help with that. But no pressure if you’d rather just relax and cuddle.”
You lifted your hips as Luke slid your bottoms and underwear off in one go. “I’m…not sure I could get in the right headset for that to feel good right now. I’m sorry. Is it okay if we just see how I feel?”
“Of course.” Luke lifted your shirt over your head. “You never have to apologize and you’re never obligated to do anything.” He pressed his lips to your forehead before shrugging off his jacket and rolling his sleeves to his elbows. Before you could admire his forearms and hands for too long, he disappeared into the refresher again and you heard the water stop. He hurried back out and carried bridal style to the refresher. He set you down in the now full tub of warm water, complete with a lavender bath bomb.
“Where did you even find this?”
“Leia had a few. She knew you were stressed, so told me I could use some if I needed them. I hope the lavender is okay. The scent is supposed to help you relax.”
You nodded, leaning back in the tub. “Yeah, it’s perfect.” You sighed as you felt the exhaustion hit you like a freight train, bringing more tears to your eyes. “Ugh, no, I thought I was done.” You buried your face in your hands, leaning your elbows against your thighs in the water.
Luke rubbed your back. “Just let it out. Do you want some space or company?”
“Don’t go,” you mumbled into your hands.
“I’m not going anywhere.” You felt him kiss your hair before gathering it behind you and tying it into a loose bun. “You left a hair tie here last time. Who knew you forgetting things would end up being so convenient?”
You let your hands fall into the water, huffing out a meager laugh as Luke took your favorite body wash—which had found a home in his refresher—and spread it over his hands. “I mean, I practically live here anyway, so does it really count as forgetting?” You groaned as Luke’s hands smoothed over your body, gently working out the knots as he came across them.
He laughed and the sound further relaxed your muscles. “I guess not.” He hesitated, gently pushing you to lean back so he could rub the body wash over more of you. “You know…if you did just want to…move all your stuff in here, I wouldn’t mind.”
You glanced at him hopefully. “Is that allowed?”
He shrugged, rubbing your thighs. You couldn’t help but admire the veins and tanned skin of his forearms. You always forgot how large his hands were until you saw them compared to you, making you melt every time. “I doubt it would cause too much of a ruckus. Command knows you’re in here more often than your own quarters anyway and no one’s said anything yet. Plus, I am also part of command. I could pull a few strings…if you want.” His blue eyes looked at you hopefully, nervousness tinging their edges.
“Are…” you paused to groan slightly as his hands moved to your sore calf muscles, “are you sure you want me to?”
He smiled and the lovestruck look in his eyes made you want to cry again. “More than anything.”
Your stomach flipped and you smiled shyly at him before nodding.
His face lit up. “Is that a yes?”
You smiled. “Yeah.”
He flashed a toothy grin at you before squeezing your thigh and pressing a deep kiss to your lips. You pressed your forehead to his for a few seconds before you both laughed, kissing him again before his hands traveled to your ankles and feet.
You glanced at his hair and chuckled. “I think it might be a bit humid in here.”
He laughed. “Well, I know how you like your water to be Mustafar temperatures.”
You couldn’t help the loud laugh that bubbled up out of you. “Your hair’s so fluffy.”
He smiled before shaking his head vigorously, making it fluff up even more. “If you tell anyone else that nickname, I’ll get you back.”
“What, you don’t wanna hear them call Commander Floofwalker over the loudspeakers?”
He laughed. “No. Especially Han will never let me live that down.”
“I mean, you have similar haircuts, so I bet his does it too—oh, Maker, imagine poor Chewie.”
Luke laughed so hard, he had to pause in massaging your feet. “Oh no, that would be bad. We might not be able to get him through the door to the Falcon’s cockpit.”
“I’m sure Han would love having a bunch of poofy fur in his way while he’s trying to pilot.”
“Just flying like pleh pleh pleh.”
You giggled, admiring his smile as he met your eyes.
“It’s good to hear you laugh again. I love your laugh.” He smoothed a hand up your calf and back onto your thigh. “And your legs.”
Your smile faded a bit. “Are you sure? I’m a little insecure about them.”
“I know you are. But they’re perfect, I promise.” He kissed the part of your knee that poked out over the water. “Every part of you is. But you are turning into a giant wrinkle, so I think that means it’s time to get out.”
He helped you up and out of the tub, pulling the drain and drying you off with your favorite fluffy towel. “Now,” he kissed your jaw, “do you want Artoo to go grab some clothes from your room or just wear mine?”
You fixed him with a look. “You know the answer to that one.”
He smiled before wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into the bedroom with him. He put his hands on your shoulders and gently sat you down on the edge of his bed before turning on the burner and setting the kettle on top of it. He pulled a mug and hot chocolate pack out of the cabinet before making his way to his dresser. After gently pulling a black v-neck shirt over your head and helping you step into his boxers, he left a soft kiss on the inside of your thigh.
As he stood, you pulled out the hair tie, the motion making the collar slip off one shoulder. You glanced up as Luke blew a slow breath out his mouth, his eyes tracking the movement hungrily. You chuckled nervously. “What?”
“Just…” Luke shook his head, shuddering out another breath as his blushing face filled with awe. “When your hair sort of just rains down like that combined with the off-the-shoulder….”
You laughed. “You okay over there?”
He laughed breathlessly, stepping between your legs and pulling you flush against him. “Yeah.” He pressed a deep kiss to your lips, his hands roaming underneath the fabric of his shirt to glide over your skin. Your lips moved in tandem as his hands, still warm from the bath water, slowly traced up and down the sides of your torso and spine. He gasped softly as you dipped your tongue into his mouth, returning the gesture as his hands moved over the top of your shirt, his fingers barely grazing over your chest to cup your face. His hands were large enough that his thumbs could still stroke your cheeks while his fingers wrapped around the back of your neck. You slid your hands up his chest, feeling the toned muscle beneath his shirt, slipping into his hair and giving it a gentle tug. He shuddered out a shaky exhale and you felt his knees buckle slightly as he leaned against the bed.
Before you could continue, the kettle started whistling. Luke continued kissing you, hands wandering, for several seconds as the whistling intensified. You laughed against his lips. “Luke—”
He cut you off with another kiss, murmuring a hmm? into your mouth. You pushed against his chest and he finally pulled away with a dazed expression on his face. “Are you all right?”
“Yes, but your kettle.”
He frowned. “Huh?” His eyes widened as the whistling increased in intensity, his head whipping around so fast his hair flew with him. “Oh!”
You laughed as he rushed over to the kettle, taking it off the burner and depositing the hot chocolate pack’s contents into the mug. “I thought Jedis were supposed to be focused.”
He chuckled as he poured the steaming water over the powder. “I was focused, just not on the kettle…Oh, I’m out of spoons…uhhh…” He hesitated before swirling his fingers several inches above the cup.
You laughed harder. “Are you Force-stirring?”
He laughed with you. “Maybe?”
You clutched at your stomach. “Artoo is literally holding a spoon in his arm.”
“No, he’s—oh.”
Artoo beeped, holding a plastic spoon from the cafeteria in one of his pinchers.
You doubled over on the bed. “Maker, Luke.”
“You got me a bit frazzled, okay?” The sound of his bright laugh filled the room and your chest. He took the spoon from the droid before stirring the mug before him. “It’s not my fault you’re so attractive. I’m over here trying to pamper you and you’re making fun of me.”
“And I appreciate it. I love you. I’m sorry.”
He smiled, his joy so palpable and radiating, you wondered if this was how he felt when he sensed your emotions through the Force. “I love you too.” He handed you the mug, watching you lovingly as you took the first sip. “Is it warm enough? Taste okay?”
You nodded, setting it down on the nightstand and scooting over, patting the space beside you.
He climbed in next to you, using the Force to push the button that brought the screen down. He took his datapad from a drawer in the nightstand and fired up the projector, his library of downloaded holomovies lighting up the tarp. Pulling you against his chest, he left a soft, lingering kiss on your forehead before holding the pad out to you. “You pick. Then we can get some dinner, sleep, and decide if we want to just relax here for the next few days or fly anywhere you want.”
#star wars#luke skywalker#star wars x reader#star wars imagine#star wars fluff#star wars comfort#star wars fanfiction#luke skywalker x reader#luke skywalker imagine#luke skywalker fanfiction#luke skywalker comfort#luke skywalker fluff#gender neutral reader#luke skywalker x gn!reader#my writing
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I'm alive...
Just going thru some extra spicy mental health lately, and I turned all my tumblr notifs off.
I haven't run away b/c literally some of y'all are the coolest ppl in my phone and I don't wanna disconnect from you.
And, to no one's surprise, I am still horny and feral asf for the Rizzard of Waterdeep. He's got me in a chokehold (lol) forever I think.
Also, I am working on some deadlines for the @bg3tarotdeck, and I am trying to maintain what focus I have on it.
I'll be ok. Eventually. I'm just going thru it rn, and getting support from my therapist so I'm not dealing with it on my own. I just need to slow down a bit.
If anyone feels inclined, I will never say no to being tagged in Gale posts, or sent dms/asks of Gale pictures and art, and about any other random stuff.
I have also started going back down the Sims 4 rabbit hole the last couple days and I'm trying to make my barbies Sims have a meet cute. Yes, i made Gale and Sagora. yes they are in separate households...and *yes* I also made their strong likes fine-tuned so they will naturally be attracted to each other. Because I can. I am Sims God. I am not sorry. lol
But fr, Ily all, and I'm not gonna run away from tumblr without saying anything. I just need to (as another friend has put it in their own social media) "Recalibrate."
I'll be back to m unhinged, extra-feral shenanigans in no time. <3
#mira maunders#personal post#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#bg3 tarot#bg3 tarot deck#mental health#sims 4#ily peeps so much I wanna group hug all of you
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hey guys!
ik i didnt have enough time to say this, but I just want to express how much y’all mean to me. i only came on tumblr as a joke, but the amount of sweet and kind people im mutuals with is just so amazing. you guys are the best😭. I’m gonna make an appreciation not for each of y’all:
@m-rsy : thank you so very much for being my #2 stalker of the month (DW ITS A GOOD THING😭😭)
@freak-accident419 : UR SO COOL AND SWEET TYSM FOR LIKING MY POSTS (and also thank u sm for making fanfic for my delusional ass🤭)
@mikesimpsblog : TY FOR JUST EXISTING ILYYYY🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
@joshhutchersonfanboy4ever : TYSM FOR LIKING EVERYTIME I POST. TY BABEHHHHH
@hutchersonlovr : TYSM FOR WANTING TO BE FRIENDS. IM SO SORRY I COULDNT TEXT U BACL SOON ENOUGH. BE THE BITCH U ARE (THE BADDEST)
@steellark : TYSM FOR BEING SO SWEET😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 AND LOVING JOSH H.
@httpnymph : to my #1 stalker. Since day 1. THANK U FOR BEING THE BADDEST BITCH ON THIS PLANET. UR SO PRETTY AND SWEET. ILY SMMMM. KEEP GIRLBOSSING BOOKIE🤞🏽🤞🏽🩷💕💕 (ALSO TYSM FOR THE JOSH F. FANFIC I LOVE IT SM)
anywho, i hope u guys have a lovely christmas. and i love each and every one of my moots, even if I didn’t add u to the list. keep being awsome :3💋
#josh hutcherson#fyp#giggling and kicking my legs#she a baddie she showin ha panty#merry christmas#i need u for christmas#i love women#peeta mellark#Mike schmidt#be the best version of yourself#I LOVE U BABY
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spell out your username with songs
Pick a song that starts with the first letter of each of the letters in your URL and then tag as many people as there are letters!
This was loads of fun! Thanks for the tag @emjayeingray, ily <3
As a surprise to absolutely no one, most of these remind me of the marauders:
M - Mykonos by Fleet Foxes [v nostalgic for me]
U - Ultimate by Lindsay Lohan [BOP]
L - Leonard Cohen by boygenius
[this makes me think of "The Cadence of Part-Time Poets" by @motswolo on ao3]
T - The Weekend (Remix) by SZA, Funk Wav, Calvin Harris [BOP]
I - I Can See You by Taylor Swift
[dorlene and jegulus... bc ofc]
I - I Know The End by Phoebe Bridgers
[...Halloween 1981. Sorry!!!]
M - Merely Players by Ari Notartomaso and Niamh Wilson
[marylily in "Delicate" by TheIdeaofSarcasm on ao3]
O - One That Got Away by MUNA
[marylene, specifically mary singing to marlene to deal with her unrequited feelings]
M - Maharani by Alamat [BOP]
E - Elsewhere (cover) by Bethany Joy Lenz (from One Tree Hill)
[This song is just so very dear to me.]
N - Nonsense by Sabrina Carpenter [BOP]
T - Tu Jhoom by Abida Parveen and Naseebo Lal (from Coke Studio) [Please listen to it and read the translation! It’s SUCH a beautiful song I cannot!!! It makes me think about MANY things in life, one of which is Effie singing to the kiddos <3]
S - Somebody to Love by Queen
[a.k.a. one of the best songs to ever exist]
thanks for readin'!
alright, tagging y'all to do the thing if you so choose: @libertuune @cauldroncakesandwine @dreamland-ivy-reads @heydxrxthea @eniaos @kat-m-toast @sebbianas @pavlovleowrites @mochafrappiccinolatte @maladaptivewriting @kiwi2229 [hi, sorry if i forgot someone! i don't use tumblr a ton and my brain is a sieve!]
#song#music#tag game#usernames#marauders#marauders era#wolfstar#marylily#dorlene#jegulus#marylene#effie potter#bops
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I write my diary posts on here as though I'm exclusively talking to tumblr strangers but there are several real life friends of mine (+ my husband) who follow me.... So uhhh hi L*** and M**** and E*** I'm sorry that I'm fucking insane ily and thank you for pretending you don't see these dumbass posts when we're hanging out
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CRASHING INTO HERE )
HI‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
FIRST OFF HAPPY BIRTHDAY‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ HOPE YOU HAD A RLLY GREAT BIRTHDAY AND WISHING YOU THE BEST‼️‼️‼️
Ok uh where to begin, uh first off I love you so much wth‼️‼️‼️ . However we are gonna need to get a new house soon, probably explosive proof too.
Umm still so insane to me how quickly we grew close, like to the point we're even qqps⁉️⁉️ INSANE… but arghhh IT MAKES ME RLLY RLLY HAPPY
Like I still remember like the first time you reblogged one of my electro posts AND THEN TAGS YOU PUT MADE ME GIGGLE SO MUCH but also like it gave me such a motivation boost seeing how you enjoyed it. AND ARGHH THEN SEEING UR ART MAN….M AGRHHHH DUDE YOUR ART IS SO YUMMY, AND THEN BECOMING MUTUALS ….. dude I'm so bad at interacting with mutuals but the fact we pretty quickly started talking and exchanged discord users and started talking more
AND LIKE all the silly shenanigans and interactions we get to on tumblr HEHEHE, I look forward to those a lot and they make me really really really happy
AND AGRHH still so insane how linked our brains are, literally the other half of me, it's so crazy to me to connect with someone so easily like that and like argh MANNNNNN
IDK IT MAKES ME RLLY HAPPY, YOU MAKE ME HAPPY!!!! AND I RLLY RLLY LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
so uh yeah HAPPY BIRTHDAY ‼️ (oh sorry for nearly killing you with the electro shocker angst (no I'm not ) (love you still <3)
oh ok ...!!!!!! erm. errrr WHATOKAYYYYYY
HEHE THANK YOU SO MUCH ‼️‼️‼️it was a good day :3 and now even better ehehehehe (READING THIS MADE MY DAY WTH!)
HEHEHE I LOVE YOU TOO!!!! SO MUCH I REALLY DO!!! and. well yeah. but do we have the money to get one. we might as well get banned from the country ,😓😓
YEAH.... i was really surprised it happened so fast too but I'M SO RLLY HAPPY AND SOOO HAPPY TO BE QPPS W/YOU ^0^ ♥️♥️
yeah i was going through the tag and i saw that and i went INSANEEEE I WAS PACING AROUND MY ROOM A LOT 😭😭😭 still makes me giggle. AND HEHE HAPPY TO HEAR THAT!
AND THANK YOUUUUU!!!! it means so so much to hear that 😭😭 AND SAME. SAME. i suck SO much at directly interacting with people oops. and still we started talking rlly fast and argghhhh crazy stuff
:333 me too!!!!! the shenanigans are so silly.... they always make my day and i look forward to them!!!!! they make me happy too ILY!!!!
AGHAHAHA YEAH. YEAH I FEEL YOUUUU WE'RE PRETTY MUCH EACH OTHER'S OTHER HALVES ‼️‼️‼️linked brains i tell ya. i never ever connected with someone this smoothly it's insane !!!! wthh!?!
EHEHEHE YOU MAKE ME HAPPY!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TOO<3333
thank you again!!!! (sigh. it's okay. (OK NVM!!!!! (yeah yeah... love you too :3)
#PHEW!!!#that was a bit hard to reply to.... <- terrible at being direct lmao (skill issue)#we ball tho#WTF ‼️‼️#also i don't think either of us ever explicitly stated we r qpps#so there you have it ig (it was obvious before we got together.)
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𝘋𝘰 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘙𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦 ?
𖦹 pairing: yoon jeonghan x reader 𖦹 wordcount: 26.3k (im sorry) 𖦹 genre: enemies to roommates to lovers, angst, fluff, smut (mdni 18+)
𖦹 reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated ♡! tumblr is based on reblogs not likes, and they help writers like me to get better reach. thank you!
𖦹 summary: your first day at your new university you spill coffee on an unsympathetic asshole. unfortunately for you that unsympathetic asshole becomes your roommate. 𖦹 in other words: you and jeonghan get off on the wrong foot, but through forced proximity and a snow day in due to a storm, you learn that your roommate is more than just the campus playboy.
𖦹 tags: non-idol!au, uni!au, e2l!jeonghanxreader, campusplayboy!jeonghan, roommate!jeonghan, stoner!jeonghan, afab!reader, bestfriend!booseoksoon, forced proximity, joshua likes to try and keep jeonghan humble, jeonghan is king of the sassy man apocolypse and also a complete asshole in the beginning, joshua is a wise man when he gets high, there is lots of figting (like a lot), alludes to reader coming from wealth but not formally mentioned.
𖦹 note: THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR PATIENCE.. i'm sorry it took so long T-T fjhkajfhakf. I would like to thank my two beta-readers @gyuswhore and @drunk-on-dk. ILY GUYS THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP, this fic really wouldn't be what it is now if it weren't for them. also tagging @ourdawnishotterthanourday @seokgyuu and @highvern, cam was the one who gave me the idea for stoner!jh so everyone thank her hehe, they had to listen to me complain about this fic multiple times on discord... (ily all) 😢 i love this story a lot and i hope you will all enjoy it 🤗!! - anna ♡ p.s. 🇵🇭 anon if u see this... huwag mo susugurin yung bahay ko, ito na po hehehe 😁!
smut tags/warnings under the cut!
𖦹 smut tags: dom!jh, sub!reader, afab!reader, virgin!reader, oral (f and m receiving), breast play, mutually intoxicated sex (weed), penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, corruption kink, shotgunning, multiple smut scenes (3), jeonghan's a munch, petnames (for reader: baby, angel, sweetheart, princess/for jeonghan: hannie).
𖦹 warnings: mentions of neglectful parents, family trauma, verbal abuse is mentioned but nothing too bad, unhealthy coping mechanisms, alcohol, panic attacks, drug use (just weed, nothing crazy), if i miss any warnings or smut tags please let me know!
Prologue.
You hate Yoon Jeonghan. The moment you met him, you hated him.
It had taken you about ten seconds to get on his bad side. All it took was a cup of iced coffee and a bump in the sidewalk. In the blink of an eye, your freshly made latte had become a wet coffee-coloured stain on Jeonghan’s bright white shirt. Mortified, you apologized profusely, not knowing what else to do. Everything happened so fast, that you didn’t even realize you were tripping and then spilling your drink onto him.
“What the fuck is your problem?” he spits at you, eyes cold as ice.
Your cheeks heat up fast, and you’re stuttering your words all over the place. To say the least, you felt bad. You haven’t even been here for more than 24 hours and you were already fucking up badly. Just a few minutes ago you were ready to start fresh, beginning a new semester at the university you transferred to from your hometown.
Looking back up at the man who was currently staring you down, you begin to take napkins out of your bag to wipe his shirt. A yelp escapes your lips once you feel him slap your hand away from his chest.
“I said what the fuck is your problem?” he repeats himself, the fire in his eyes glinting against the light of the sun.
“I’m sorry, I tripped and—” you begin to explain yourself but he cuts you off, not wanting to hear your excuses.
“I don’t care that you tripped, you spilt your drink on me,” he seethes, clenching his jaw as he talks.
Now you’re equally as pissed as him, you stare at him for a second trying to see if he’s joking because he couldn’t be serious right now. Quickly, you realize that he is indeed not joking, if anything he’s more serious than you were when you told your parents you were moving away.
“I’m sorry I spilt my drink but it was an honest mistake. It’s a stain, you can wash your shirt,” you scoff at him. Unbelievable, you thought. As you roll your eyes, you watch him get red in the face with anger.
Jeonghan is a lot more frustrated now that you’re giving him attitude, after the fact that you stained his clothes. His fists begin to ball at his sides, who does this girl think she is?
“You’ve got a lot of nerve. You can’t just talk to me that way.” It was his turn to scoff at you, this petty fight between the two of you not leading anywhere.
You look him up and down, you could take him in a fight if it came down to it, or at least that's what you like to tell yourself. His body is on the slimmer side, his looks seem to be his only redeeming quality. Long-haired, with long eyelashes; he was a pretty boy, you’ll admit that much. Yet his personality is not in harmony with his looks, and you found it to be quite surprising. How can someone so good-looking be so spiteful?
“Too bad, I’ve already apologized and tried to make up for my actions. Didn’t mommy tell you life isn’t always fair?” You mockingly pout up at him as he towers over you. Before Jeonghan could come up with a rebuttal, you walk past him, purposefully knocking your shoulder with his.
“Hey! I wasn’t done with you! You’ll regret this day!” he shouts at your figure as you walk away from the scene. As you walk away you pray to the gods that this is the last you’ll see of the long-haired pretty boy.
Little did you know it wasn’t going to be your last encounter with Yoon Jeonghan.
I.
With desperation you scour multiple sites, looking for a roommate to stay with for the time being. Your move was abrupt, and you didn’t have time before you left home to look for a place to stay. For the past week, you’ve been staying at an Airbnb, hoping you’d be able to find a place soon.
It was about one in the morning when the gods had finally decided to answer your prayers. A listing from a student attending your university was looking for a roommate to split rent with. As you read the listing, prices, and location, everything ticked all your boxes. Releasing a heavy sigh of relief, you message the person who posted the listing, asking if they were still looking for a roommate.
You: Hi, is this still available?
I’m ok with the rent prices and I can move in ASAP.
Hanniehae:
yah heres the address.
come by tmrw at 2. we can talk about the details in person.
Is it dumb of you to move into an apartment without asking any other questions? Yes, it was. But you were desperate to move out of the Airbnb you were staying in. The fees were starting to add up and you couldn’t afford to stay there anymore. Plus this is a person who’s going to the same school as you, they can’t be that bad…right?
…
It was that bad.
As soon as the door to your potential future apartment opens, you come face-to-face with the man who was yelling at you about a coffee stain just a few days ago.
His long shoulder-length blond hair is a little messy, his eyes tired, like he had just gotten out of bed. It made you scoff, it's two p.m. but he was sleeping? The other part of your brain is wondering why he looked so good when he had just rolled out of bed. You would complain or at least make a snarky comment but you’re stuck in a predicament where you needed to find a place to stay fast.
“So you’re stalking me now?” he scoffs, his eyebrows scrunching with confusion and a bit of anger.
“Stalking you? You must think you’re special.” You roll your eyes at him, a sneer already on your face. “No, dumbass. I’m here because I’m looking for an apartment.”
“I don’t think it’s very nice of you to call your future roommate a dumbass. My name is Jeonghan by the way.” Jeonghan smirks at you, the gears already turning in his head.
He didn’t realize you were the one who was inquiring about the extra room last night. This has all gotten a lot more amusing for him since you’ve already somehow found a way to get on his bad side. It’s looking like karma was on his side for today, and he couldn’t be more pleased.
“No. I must’ve gotten the wrong number.” You try to deny your fate, looking at the door to see that it is indeed the right place. You curse under your breath as you glance back and forth between the complex number and Jeonghan’s smug face.
“Well, you certainly didn’t. Here look at the texts, Y/n.” He shoves his phone in your face, and your first name flashes across the screen, proving that he was the person you were texting last night.
The back of your eyes feel as though they're burning, why am I always bumping into this asshole? You think to yourself, sighing.
“If you don’t want me to live here then fine. I’ll find somewhere else,” you bluff, your pride still standing strong even though you need a place and you need one now. Pretending like you’re about to walk away, Jeonghan grabs your arm before you can go too far.
“No. Whatever I guess, past is past. I need someone to split rent with, and you obviously need somewhere to stay so…” He shrugs as he holds onto your wrist, and you watch how his long and slender fingers wrap around it. The grip he has on you is firm but yet so delicate at the same time.
“Fine. Only because I really can’t find somewhere else, but once I do, I promise I'll be out of your hair,” you mutter, already not liking the idea of this setup.
Jeonghan grins at you, relieved. He was happy to have someone to split the rent with, but what he’s more excited about is the fact that he’ll be able to piss you off in closer proximity. You seemed easy to anger and luckily for you, it’s Jeonghan’s favourite pastime to piss people off. There’s something about the way you react when you’re annoyed that he finds so amusing, at least you won’t be boring to live with, he thinks to himself.
“You can move in today if you’d like. There’s nothing much to talk about, I've already listed everything in the posting. Don’t go in my room and I won’t go in yours. That’s all,” he says as he realizes he’s still holding onto your wrist. You become aware of it too, pulling back your hand quickly, your face reluctant but you know you can’t say no.
“Fine. I’ll be back with all my things.” You look at him up and down once again, his sleep shorts and shirt baggy on him, but somehow he pulls it off. Especially the long hair, it makes you wonder what secrets it could possibly hold.
“I don’t need help moving in by the way,” you add.
“Who said I was gonna help you?” he chuckled, his arms crossing in front of his chest as he stared at you, raising an eyebrow.
You’ve had enough of his egotistical bullshit, flashing him your middle finger as you walk towards the elevator.
II.
As you're lugging your belongings into the apartment, you watch Jeonghan leisurely manspread on the couch, watching an episode of Spongebob. You can’t help but roll your eyes as he acts so nonchalant as you heave your fifty-pound suitcase into the room. Then again, you did say you didn’t need his help, so who’s really at fault right now?
Not bringing a whole lot with you, just the essentials, you opted to purchase everything when you found a place to stay. Thankfully, you were able to find a place now rather than later, all because of Jeonghan. As much as you hate him, if it weren’t for him you’d still be paying for the overpriced Airbnb.
With a slam, you lay out your suitcase that contains practically your whole life. Conveniently enough, the place came fully furnished, so you didn’t need to buy a new bed and desk.
As you unpack, you reminisce on all the memories your items hold. You really didn’t want to leave your city but you knew it was for the best. The toxicity of living with them did impact your mental health considerably. Starting fresh in a new city, a different school; it just seemed like the best thing to do at the time. Now you just hope that in the future you will appreciate the hard decision you had to make.
…
It was around eleven p.m. by the time you stepped out of your new room, and you noticed that the devil reincarnated was long gone from his spot on the couch. It wasn’t until you got closer to the kitchen that you heard the sounds of a headboard banging against the wall, and that was all you needed to go straight back into your room.
“Jeonghan! Please…” You hear a woman’s voice moan.
Running back to your room, you shut the door quickly behind you, you're mortified, to say the least. You barely know Jeonghan, and not even twenty-four hours into moving in, he’s already having guests over? A scoff can’t help but leave your throat, at this point, you shouldn’t even be surprised, Jeonghan definitely seems like the type to fuck around, even if his roommate was home.
As quickly as possible you take out your headphones, not wanting to hear the obnoxiously loud sounds the girl in Jeonghan’s bed was making.
“It can’t be that good,” you mumble to yourself, eyebrows scrunched like you were in deep thought. He just can’t be, you add to your thoughts, not wanting to give Jeonghan credit for actually being enjoyable in bed.
With the whole world shut off, you head to the kitchen, craving a warm cup of ramen and some diet coke. The moment your electric kettle began to boil, you could feel the floorboards move under you slightly. The presence of a body behind you made you stiffen, even though you knew exactly who it was.
Not trying to give him attention, you continue to make your food, pretending you can’t hear anything but the music blaring through your headphones. That was until they were snatched off your head, the abrupt action making you jump slightly.
“What do you want?” you sigh, not even bothering to look behind you. Eyes still trained on the water that was filling your ramen cup, making sure it didn’t pass the fill line.
“I called out your name like ten million times, you didn’t answer,” Jeonghan announced, but you don’t care. If he’s going to act like he’s the only person living here, then so will you.
“Why would I?” You turn around to look at him now, his face a little too close for comfort. “I was under the impression you were busy with your visitor.”
“I was, she left. I guess you didn’t hear her.” Jeonghan shrugs, placing the headphones he stole from you onto the countertop.
Jeonghan has always been the type to get bored easily, not wanting to prolong a usual visit, it was better for him to fuck, clean up, then have them leave. No one he’s slept with has ever stayed the night and he preferred it that way. It’s better when it’s casual with no feelings involved.
In short, Jeonghan was a grade-A asshole, especially in your books. A man who doesn't care for sincerity, only convenience.
“Whatever, if you’re going to fuck a random chick while I’m here, you could at least have the decency to be a little quieter,” you grit, your cheeks heating with embarrassment and anger.
Even if you didn’t like Jeonghan, you wouldn’t have done what he did, not that you’ve ever had sex, but still.
Jeonghan couldn’t help but chuckle, the face you made when you got angry really amused him. Something about the way your cheeks would flush and your eyebrows scrunch. Pushing your buttons brought a rush in him that he just couldn't explain, he just wanted to see how far he could go to get you all worked up.
“Well, it wouldn’t have bothered you if it was you who was in my room instead.” Jeonghan hovers over you once more, the height difference settling within you once again. He lets out the most annoyingly smug chuckle, one that makes your fists ball and your cheeks turn bright red.
“Flirting with me won’t get you anywhere,” you spit at him, not wanting to play into his trap.
“I’m not flirting, sweetheart, I’m only telling you the truth,” Jeonghan says with a sing-song voice as he walks away to go back into his room.
III.
It has been a few weeks since that last incident, and although you hate how Jeonghan continues to bring people over, you’ve learned to tune it out. The situation isn’t ideal, but all you can think about is the fact that you finally have a place to stay.
Being his roommate felt like hell on Earth sometimes, the constant need to pester him about something different each day was starting to push you to your breaking point. Jeonghan was a horrible slob, only half decent enough to put away his own dishes. You tend to find his belongings all over the common area, sometimes it's a piece of clothing that couldn’t possibly belong to either of you.
A pink lace bra lying across the couch was pretty much your breaking point. You were so fed up with his constant lack of care for a common space. Thinking it was left from the night before, you decide it’s time to confront him about the boundaries he has yet to stay within.
“Jeonghan I swear to god if I find another item from one of your flings I will—” You begin to march up to his room, not even bothering to knock this time. The anger begins turning from a bubbling simmer into a full-on rolling boil.
Before you could even finish your sentence, you're met with the image of a topless girl hovering over Jeonghan, kissing him like he’s the cure for old age. They both tear apart from each other to look at you, your face resembling the scream by Edvard Munch. This is definitely one of the worst and embarrassing moments you’ve experienced in your life.
“Oh my god! Sorry! Oh my god, I didn’t know, Sorry! Sorry!” You’re rambling out of embarrassment at this point.
You hurriedly try to close the door, but before that you fling the bra into his room, flying across and hitting the back of the girl's head as she tries to cover up.
“What the fuck!” she screams, and it feels like the more you stay, the worse the situation gets.
“My bad!” you yell from the outside of his room, ready to scurry off into the only place you can stand to be in at that moment.
As you headed back to your room, you covered yourself in all your pillows and blankets, trying to recover from the embarrassment you felt. It was on you for not knocking before you came in, but you had just been so sick of Jeonghan’s habits, that you were too mad to even think twice. The regret begins to overwhelm you, and you can’t help but scream into your pillows.
“Of course, he had to just be hooking up with someone. Thank god it hadn’t gone any further.” You mumble into your pillow, trying to cover the fact that your whole face resembles a bright red tomato.
Before you could spiral any deeper into thoughts of jumping off your balcony, your door bursts open to reveal your very own personal demon, one that took form as your roommate. You don’t even turn around, your head still buried in your pillow, instead opting to flip him off for putting you through a traumatizing situation.
“So we’re into voyeurism now?” he teases you, laughing maniacally at your sulking figure.
He strides over to the right side of your bed, hovering over where you lay. Words of protest spill out your mouth as you feel him turn you over so your body is facing upwards. Cheeks still flushed from a few minutes ago, you look at him through the slits of your fingers, your palms covering the rest of your red face.
“Just leave me be. I did not mean to catch you guys in the act.” You couldn’t even make eye contact, your words muffled by your hands.
“Y/n…if you wanted to join you could’ve just asked. You know I could never say no to two of you at once,” Jeonghan snickers, his smirk permanently plastered on his face.
Angry at his vulgar statement, you fling upright, your face red with anger instead of embarrassment. As you sit up, you begin to take a better look at his frame. His shirt was nowhere to be found, his boxers peeking out of his grey sweats. You didn’t expect him to be so toned, his arms not extremely muscular, but you could tell he worked out at least a little. His height allows his abdomen to be in your line of sight with how you're sitting on your bed. The gulp leaves your throat involuntarily, betraying your facade of anger. A part of you curses him silently for being so attractive, which is something you never want to admit to him out loud.
“Don’t flatter yourself, asshole.” You roll your eyes, trying to keep eye contact with him, even when his abs are right in front of you.
“Next time, put a sock on your door or something. Or at least stop having your hookups leave their shit around the apartment!” An arm extending, motioning over to the living room where you had found the aforementioned bra.
“Okay, okay, fine. Jesus Y/n, you know this wouldn’t have happened if you just had knocked.” He copies your actions, rolling his eyes back at you. His nonchalant tone never leaves, even in a situation like this. It angered you how careless he is, Jeonghan never cares about anything, and every day you wonder how far he can keep this act up.
“I wouldn’t have to do all that if you two weren’t so careless!” You raise your voice at him, standing up from your bed. The anger shoots through your veins like bullets, how can he be the offended one in this situation? Jeonghan’s audacity never ceases to amaze you.
“Why do you always have a stick up your fucking ass? Do you not get laid or something?” Jeonghan’s fists ball, he’s equally pissed now, appalled at how you’re raising your voice at him right now. “I see how it is Y/n, you know, maybe if you got as much as I did, you would learn to loosen up a bit. It was one bra.”
“You’re unbelievable Yoon Jeonghan.” You scoff, offended by his words. It’s not fair that this is the conclusion, even though he’s right, you haven’t gotten laid, not for twenty-two years to be exact. “If I had known that you were this much of a terrible roommate, I wouldn’t have agreed to stay.”
“If I had known that you were such a stuck-up bitch, I wouldn’t have agreed to let you live here.” He matches your energy, turning on his heels after, not even letting you sputter out a rebuttal, the sound of the door slamming echoing throughout your room.
You stood there in shock, agitated. The silence of your room allows his words to sink into you. I’m the bitch? He’s fucking ridiculous, I wouldn’t even be acting this way if it weren’t for him. Eyebrows scrunched in frustration, you recall the argument you two had, and what frustrated you, even more, is the way conversations you have with him can turn from one to a hundred so quickly. In all honesty, it gave you whiplash dealing with him.
…
Jeonghan’s blood pressure is at an all-time high. How dare you enforce all these rules onto him, when he’s the one who agreed to let you live with him in the first place.
“Past is past, yeah fucking right,” he mutters under his breath as he sits on his bed, thinking back to the day you showed up at his doorstep.
The grudge he held for you spilling coffee on his shirt, that he could get over. But your constant need to dictate his actions? Hell no. He can’t let that slide, especially when he was living in this apartment first.
Jeonghan can’t help but run his fingers through his hair, the stress of arguing with you was catching up to him. Something about you and the way you acted towards him gets him heated so quickly. The effect you have on his mood didn’t make sense to him, especially because he considers himself to be a generally careless person.
Maybe it was your face or the way your cheeks would flush when you would raise your voice at him. Or maybe the fact that your small frame looked so harmless as you argued with him, the way your hands would ball into tiny fists. Part of him is amused at your anger, until you start to strike a nerve, that's when he begins to lose all self-control. He can’t even remember the last time he has fought with someone like this, you really just know how to rile him up.
IV.
Since that argument with Jeonghan, the two of you have learned to stay out of each other's way. It wasn’t like either of you went out of your way to talk to one another before what happened, but there was definitely a thicker layer of distaste now.
There are times when he would see you cooking in the kitchen, opting to stay in his room only after you had cleared the space of your presence. It wasn’t one-sided either, you tend to only leave your room to cook or head to class. Not bothering to even spare Jeonghan a second glance.
Not only was there less clutter in the common spaces, it wasn’t completely spotless, but at least he was trying to be more mindful. What surprised you the most was that he didn’t bring people over as often anymore, opting to go out late instead. There were mornings when you were forced to face him, passing by him as you left for class, only to realize he was coming home from being out all night.
You hear the door beep as you get ready to put on your shoes. Jeonghan’s figure is entering your peripheral vision as he steps through to the mudroom. Pretending like he isn’t there, you put on your coat and mitts, leaving the apartment to walk to your next class.
The weather had gotten considerably colder since you first moved into the apartment. Snow was starting to fall to the ground rapidly, the temperature dropping to a whopping negative 20 degrees Celsius. You were concerned, considering you walk to school, but a little snow has never stopped you. And you simply can’t afford to skip any lectures.
As you make your way to school, you admire how your new city is beginning to turn into a winter wonderland, the people around you all bundled up for the cold weather, as well as the snow that was sticking to the tree branches and bushes. Most people would curse at the weather, but you felt appreciative of all the little things, especially knowing you wouldn’t have been able to experience them in your home city.
“Well, don’t you just look like a cheerful snowman, all bundled up!” Seungkwan notes on your appearance, watching as you sit beside him for your digital marketing class.
“Good morning to you too, Kwan,” you roll your eyes at his remarks, your cheeks and nose still red from the cold.
Meeting Seungkwan this term was probably the only reason you are still in this class. Not only did he help you improve your comprehension of the class material, but he was also just a joy to be around. His spunky personality shows through even in the most unpredictable situations. Sometimes you wonder why he hasn’t thought about going into law, his urge to argue with the professor during lecture always gives you secondhand embarrassment. But at the same time, you can’t help but admire his extroverted personality.
“Any news on your roommate? I don’t even know why you continue to live with him Y/nie,” Seungkwan shakes his head.“If I were you I would’ve moved out after the first incident.”
“Well, I would, but there’s literally nowhere else to stay. So I kinda have to suck it up or I’ll be homeless,” you sigh, readying your things to head to the dining hall. The grumble in your stomach starts to grow louder with each passing minute.
Seungkwan can only sigh, pitying your situation, especially because from what you’ve told him, your roommate seems to be a total asshole.
Within a few minutes, the two of you reach the dining hall, quickly spotting two big heads arguing over the last piece of pepperoni pizza.
“Kwon Soonyoung, I swear to good if you don’t hand over the last slice.” Seokmin’s eyes set ablaze, staring at the slice that Soonyoung doesn’t seem to want to relinquish.
Every day since you met them, you wonder why Seungkwan thought it was a good idea to introduce them to you, especially because they both collectively share only one brain cell.
“Or what Seok? I’m older than you. How about you respect your elders? I deserve it!” Soonyoung huffs, one hand gripping his tray, his other swatting around aimlessly in the air.
They looked like two rabid animals circling around one helpless prey. Seungkwan sighs beside you, not in the mood to deal with his friend’s antics. Tired of hearing them fight over a measly slice of pizza, he tries to separate the two of them, and instead of rectifying the situation, it makes things worse.
“Seungkwan gets out of here, it's between me and his greedy ass,” Soonyoung practically barks at the only person trying to make sure no one dies because of a slice of pizza.
“I’m greedy?!” Seokmin points to himself in disbelief, and the look on his face shows how offended he really is. “How can I be greedy, I let you borrow my toothbrush this morning when you lost yours!”
Oh, that's gross, you thought. But knowing Seokmin and Soonyoung, they’re the type of best friends that act like family.
“Dude! You can’t just be yelling that out loud!” Soonyoung looks at him wide-eyed, coming closer to his best friend. The tray in his hand tipped over slightly, gravity causing it to almost slip off. Soonyoung is now more upset over his secret being revealed than the mediocre food that he was fighting over less than 30 seconds ago.
Seungkwan sighs once more, taking the tray from Soonyoung’s hand so it doesn’t fall onto the floor. Then no one would get any pizza at all.
As you watch them from a few steps back, you see the pepperoni pizza get restocked just behind them. The cooks observe the scene that has been unfolding with an unimpressed look in their eyes. It’s not every day that you see two idiots fight over something so trivial.
“Okay fine I’m sorry, but you know their pizza is my favourite!” Seokmin apologizes.
“You two idiots need to stop fighting. They literally put out more, probably because they’re tired of hearing you guys argue!” You motion over to the fresh pizza.
Dumb and dumber stare at each other for a millisecond, then back at the pizza, before speeding over to take enough slices for themselves. You and Seungkwan give each other an exasperated look, both of you questioning why you two are even friends with them in the first place.
When the situation finally settled down, Seungkwan began grilling you about your roommate once more. He is so invested in your setup, and even more so because you haven’t even told him who you’re living with. It could really be anyone on campus.
“Y/nie you never told us who you’re roommate is,” Seungkwan cuts off Seokmin and Soonyoung’s conversation about their favourite Pokemon.
The three of them throw you curious looks, the spotlight now on you.
“Oh, really?” You think back to when you first told Seungkwan about Jeonghan, you really didn’t think naming him would be vital information. Seungkwan thinks otherwise. “His name is Jeonghan? Maybe you guys know of him, he’s in our year, after all.”
“Jeonghan? Like Yoon Jeonghan?” Seungkwan looks at you, his eyes practically bursting out of their sockets.
“We don’t just know of him, Y/nie,” Soonyoung adds, the grave look on his face indicating that maybe naming him was something you should’ve mentioned from the start.
Seungkwan looks at both Seokmin and Soonyoung, his eyes going back and forth from the two of them to you. It’s like the three of them could communicate without any words. You knew their bond was strong, but you didn’t know it was to this extent.
“Y/n…” Seungkwan starts off, placing his hand over yours. “We’ve known him since we were in first year and…he’s definitely built a reputation for himself.”
He nudges his head behind you, causing you to turn around. Jeonghan sits there with Joshua, the two of them laughing a few tables before yours. As you observed the two of them, you couldn’t help but notice how good-looking he was, especially when there was a genuine smile on his face. A girl was sitting beside him, her arms wrapped around his bicep like he was just going to disappear if he let go. You take note of the fact that she isn’t the same girl who you caught in his bedroom the week before.
“So he’s a fuckboy? That’s it?” you snort, not really seeing the problem with that. It doesn’t matter to you anyway, it’s not like you would ever become romantically involved with him.
“Well yes… but he’s also just not someone I think you should be around. You two live together, and if you got any closer with him, it just wouldn’t end well,” Seungkwan sighs, just wanting to warn you about Jeonghan and his womanizing ways.
“His friend Joshua is pretty nice though,” Seokmin adds. “I don’t know why they’re friends but that’s just how they’ve been since we started school here.”
V.
The snow has gotten considerably thicker compared to when you first got to school. The snowbanks along the street start to hit you mid-calf, causing you to wonder if you should’ve taken a taxi home instead. Looking around, you realize that it never stopped snowing from this morning. The chilly weather and the new city experiences are not something you’re used to as someone who’s lived somewhere warm your whole life.
Lights twinkling from shiny Christmas decorations that have yet to be taken down, the cold air that the snow brought along is constantly hitting you in the face. Your cheeks are rosy, your nose running, and the tote bag on your shoulder is constantly slipping off. As annoyed as you feel from all the overstimulation you’re experiencing, you can’t wait until you can just go home and rest.
When you picked this city as your new place to live, you didn’t realize how much you romanticized the winter experience. It’s nothing like any of those Christmas hallmark movies you watched as a kid.
As you walk back to your apartment, you think about what Seungkwan and the boys enlightened you on. The more you begin to learn about Jeonghan, the more you wonder if it was a good idea to move in with him in the first place. There isn’t any going back now, you’re pretty much stuck with him till you can find a place of your own.
You don’t see much of him anyway, it’s not like you’ll be forced to be around him 24/7.
…
“You know what Shua, she’s so infuriating. Not even my mom is up my ass like this.” Jeonghan scoffs.
Joshua decided to walk home with him before going back to his place. He quickly realizes that he regrets making that decision because even in the comfort of Jeonghan’s apartment, he still has to listen to him complain about his new housemate.
“You don’t have a mom, Han,” Joshua rolls his eyes, he can’t keep listening to Jeonghan complain about the same things over and over again.
“Exactly!”
“She’s probably not even that bad, you’re always the type to overreact.”
“Well if she just minded her own fucking business, I wouldn’t be complaining in the first place,” Jeonghan scoffs, running his hand through his hair in frustration.
“Well maybe if you didn’t leave shit like your hookup’s bra in the living room, I wouldn’t be up your ass all the time,” you scowl, taking off your winter coat as you walk through the door.
It’s a miracle that the two didn’t hear you come in; Jeonghan’s complaining was too loud for anyone to hear anything other than his voice. The moment you walked through the door, it was also the first thing you heard, causing you to roll your eyes as you took your boots off. All the excitement you had to get home is long gone.
“Coffee girl has a point dude,” Joshua sides with you.
“What the hell man, you’re my friend, not hers!” Jeonghan raises his voice, obviously offended that his best friend took the side of someone he considered his enemy.
Joshua only chuckles at his best friend’s baffled expression, it’s not every day that he sees Jeonghan so easily affected by a girl. In almost every circumstance it was the other way around.
“I am your friend but I don’t think I could ever live with you,” Joshua laughs.
He has a point, you don’t think anyone would willingly decide to live with Jeonghan. Except for you.
“Well I gotta go, the weather is continuing to get worse. See you around coffee girl.” Joshua flashes you his charming smile, patting your shoulder as he exits.
“It's Y/n by the way!” you yell at him before the door fully closes. The small smile on your face reaches your eyes.
It's quickly wiped off when you turn back to see Jeonghan giving you a death glare from across the living room. His strong forearms crossed as he taps his foot impatiently, almost like he’s waiting for an argument to start up again.
“Now you’ve got Shua taking your side now?” Jeonghan sneers at you, lasers practically shooting out of his eyes with every move you make.
“It’s not my fault Joshua has critical thinking skills,” you argue back.
Every time you’re near Jeonghan, your blood pressure seems to spike. So much for that one week of peace, it’s obvious you’ve struck a new nerve with him. Before the argument could escalate even further you decide to just walk away.
Retiring to your room, you finally change into some comfy clothes. The whole day had just been extremely tiring, and coming home to Jeonghan starting a new argument with you didn’t help. The moment you walk back out you know he will have something snarky to say, so instead you find solace in your own room for the rest of the night.
You ponder about why your roommate from hell is the way he is. Does he have an allergy to being nice to people? Maybe he was dropped on his head as a baby? With all the sex he has you would assume he’d be a laid-back person, but his temperament proves you otherwise.
…
The obnoxious ringing of your alarm causes you to spring up from your bed. Eyes still droopy with sleep, you haphazardly reach for your phone on your bedside table. Blaming your bad mood and lack of motivation to wake up on the fact that Jeonghan was the last person you thought of last night. A part of you wishes you weren’t so eager at the beginning to enroll in classes at the beginning of the term, or else you wouldn’t be waking up at seven a.m. for an eight-thirty a.m. lecture.
As you begin to check the notifications your eyebrows raise as you read the email sent by your university.
To all students at ____ University,
Due to poor weather conditions and an upcoming blizzard, classes will be moved online until further notice. It is highly advised that all students are to stay indoors till the snowstorm passes. An email will be sent out with details on when in-person classes will resume.
Thank you and stay safe,
____ University’s Administration Team.
“What the hell?” you blurt out in your still-dark room, the light of your screen reflecting onto your face.
You fling the comforter off your body to look through the window of your room. As you peer out the glass you notice that the snow had gotten considerably higher overnight. While walking home yesterday, it didn’t register in your mind that the excessive snowfall was going to become this much of a problem. Not that you were complaining, this just meant you’re able to sleep in a little more.
Jumping back into bed, you realize that because of the advisory to stay indoors, you’re going to have to be around Jeonghan for an unknown period of time. The thought of having to spend time holed up in your apartment with him doesn’t particularly excite you, if anything you’re dreading it. Ultimately, you decide that it’s a problem for your future self, lulling back into a much-needed deep sleep.
…
It’s past mid-day when your body finally decides it’s time for you to wake up. The light peaking through your curtains blinds you. Your head is still fuzzy from the fact you overslept, you couldn’t help but crave a glass of water.
As you untangle your limbs from your sheets, you enter the living room, only to be met with the sight of your roommate building Legos while watching an episode of Crayon Shin-Chan. It gives you whiplash, seeing him playing with Legos and watching cartoons. It’s a stark contrast from when you caught him making out with that girl in his bedroom.
You decide to just ignore his presence, knowing that if either of you spoke it would just turn into an argument.
“Had a good sleep Y/n? It’s practically past noon now,” Jeonghan speaks out, his back facing you as he continues to assemble what seems to be a ramen shop Lego set. You roll your eyes at his comment, continuing to fill up your glass with water.
“Well I wouldn’t be so tired if I wasn’t dealing with your shit all the time,” you spit back, glaring at him over your shoulder.
Leaning back against the kitchen counter, you continue to observe Jeonghan playing building his legos, his slender fingers calculated with each and every step as he assembles them. The manual on his lap, while his long blond hair is tucked behind his ear.
“You wouldn’t have to deal with my shit if you just minded your own business.” He acts unfazed, still working diligently, not even bothering to look up at you.
Why does he always have some type of rebuttal? It was like he was raised to argue with people. The more you think about it, you realize why Seungkwan has a certain distaste towards him. He would probably argue with Jeonghan more than you do.
“And I wouldn’t have to mind your business if you didn’t disturb the peace by being so loud whenever you bring someone over.”
A part of you wonders if in another universe you and Jeonghan actually got along, or maybe if he’s an asshole in every other universe too.
“Whatever, I don’t bring anyone over anymore. So take what you can get,” Jeonghan sighs, still not caring enough to take his eyes off his work.
Although you hate to admit it, he's right. Ever since that argument in your bedroom, he hasn’t brought anyone over. Which you're thankful for, but that still doesn’t excuse his stuck-up behaviour.
You sigh, walking over to sit down next to him. Maybe this is his way of finding a middle ground, he’s probably just as tired from all the fighting as you are. One thing about you is that you know when to yield, and if this is Jeonghan’s way of trying to cause fewer fights with you, then so be it. Jeonghan is human too, so you’ll forgive him for now, especially since the fights haven’t really been one-sided either.
“Thank you for that, I appreciate it,” you mumble, taking a look at his Lego manual, and helping him put some of the pieces together.
For the first time that morning, Jeonghan looks up at you. You weren’t aware of his gaze as you continued to put blocks together, but he really took his time looking at you. The light shining through the windows caused your skin to glow. Your eyebrows scrunched in concentration, tongue slightly poking out. He finds you cute, he’ll admit, maybe one of the prettiest girls he’s seen so far in his life, and he’s met a lot of pretty girls. If it weren’t for all the disagreements, he wonders if you two would have actually gotten along and maybe even been more than roommates.
“I’ll be better now, or at least I’ll try to,” he speaks up, eyes still focused on you. As you meet his gaze, you can see he truly meant it. It causes your breath to hitch, it was the first time you’ve seen him so serious, but in a positive way. A small smile forms along your lips, and you take out your hand, signalling for him to shake it.
“Roommates? This could be a peace treaty of sorts.”
“Okay, roommates. Also, I’m sorry for saying all those mean things about you, I can become an asshole when I’m angry,” he apologizes as he gives you a firm handshake. “Which is a shitty excuse, but still, I’m sorry.”
“I forgive you, and I’m sorry too,” you retract your hand, going back to building the miniature ramen shop. “It’s tiring having to argue all the time, I’m sure it was tiring for you too.”
He chuckles, nodding his head in agreement, and it surprises you a little. It’s the first time you’ve seen a genuine smile from him since you moved in. It felt good to be on the same page with him, the arguing would’ve definitely caused you two to loathe each other until you finally decided to move out.
“This calls for some type of celebration,” He declared, standing up abruptly to search through the fridge.
Jeonghan comes back shortly with a bottle in one hand and two wine glasses in the other. You give him a confused look as he returns to his spot on the carpet. The amused and slightly mischievous glint in his eyes concerns you a little.
As he removes the cork from the spine of the wine bottle, you get a good view of his strong forearms. You’re not sure why it was so mesmerizing to watch him do such a mundane task, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away. The veins in his arms become more prominent with each move he makes. Before you know it, he’s pouring you a glass and handing it over to you.
“Wine? Really? It’s only 2 p.m.,” you give him a questioning look, you’re hesitant but you take the glass from him anyways.
“Why not? We don’t have school tomorrow anyways,” he shrugs, placing the wine bottle down to take a sip from his own glass.
You follow his actions, taking a sip of the red liquor, and feeling the liquid overcome your taste buds. Making a small sound of delight, you stare at him with wide eyes, showing him that you like the way it tastes. Jeonghan seems to know his way around wine, because, for someone who doesn’t indulge in drinking often, even you enjoyed what he handed you.
“It’s good right?” he grins, clinking the side of his glass with yours.
You giggle, taking another swig, allowing yourself to truly relax for the first time since you moved in. The buzz of the alcohol already takes effect the more you drink it, causing all your limbs to loosen up.
If someone told you that you would be drinking wine and assembling Legos with Jeonghan a week ago, you would’ve laughed in their face. But now that it’s actually happening, you’re not opposed to hanging out with him like this again.
Maybe in this universe, you and Jeonghan do get along.
…
A couple hours and half a ramen shop later, you can start the really feel the effects of the alcohol. There wasn’t much talking between you and Jeonghan, only exchanging a couple words when you got stuck on a part of the build. His voice was soft and nurturing, patiently teaching you when the instructions were unclear. It was the first time you’d heard him so soft spoken, but maybe because every time you two were conversing it was through shouting.
“Here, you just need to put this piece there, then it should look like the manual,” he mumbles, taking the platform from your hand to put the block in the right way.
His fingers lightly graze yours as he takes it from your hands, the warmth of his touch making you blush slightly. The proximity of your face to his, plus all the wine you had in your system started to make you feel more flustered than normal. In regular circumstances, you probably wouldn’t have thought so hard about the small interactions you had with him while you two put the Legos together. But something was hanging in the air as you two shared this moment together, and you couldn’t really put your finger on it.
“Oh okay… thanks,” you mumble as you continue on with the instructions. “When did you get so fond of Legos anyway?”
“My dad and I used to build them together when I was younger,” he confides with a sad smile across his face.
Jeonghan doesn’t really like to indulge in his home life much, but the wine in his system caused his walls to crumble a bit. Every brick he laid to put his feelings behind slowly came undone with each sip he took from his glass.
“He felt bad that I had to grow up without a mom, so he liked to bond over this,” he continues as he motions over to the plastic blocks in his hands.
Your mouth went dry as you heard him talk with so much cadence, a part of you felt bad for him, naturally so, but you also empathized with him. Growing up, your home life wasn’t the best either, and the fact that he’s decided to tell you something so important made you feel a little bit closer to him.
“He seems like a great dad,” you affirmed, not wanting to press too much because you weren’t sure if he wanted to elaborate more on the situation.
Placing your hand on his shoulder, Jeonghan stops and looks at the way you smile at him. It's sympathetic, but he can’t tell you’re not doing it out of pity, just understanding. The city lights reflected in your eyes, causing them to twinkle in your now dim apartment. The way you stared at him made his heart skip. At the beginning of the day he saw you as his stuck-up roommate, but now you’re just Y/n, who happens to be his roommate.
“He is, he really did a lot for me growing up,” Jeonghan chuckles, tearing his eyes from you to hide the blush starting to creep up from his neck.
“I’m glad to hear that,” you say as your hand goes back to continue putting pieces of Legos together. “My parents weren’t really like that when I was young.”
Jeonghan perks up a little, stunned by the fact that you decided to share a tidbit about yourself. He doesn’t really know much about you, so the fact that you’ve also decided to confide in him about your family surprised him.
“They were always away when I was kid, they had to travel for work a lot, but I got used to it,” you mutter, not really sure why you felt the need to tell him about the neglect you felt when you were a kid. The topic of your parents was sensitive, and a part of you isn’t sure why you felt so comfortable talking about it with someone whom you felt resentment for not more than twenty-four hours ago. Jeonghan should be the last person you talk to about this, but yet you did it anyway.
“I only ever saw them on weekends, and even then they weren’t the most affectionate people on earth.” A sigh leaves your lips as you recount the years you spent alone. “They were so busy that they ended up hiring a nanny at some point.”
“That must’ve been hard, I’m sorry Y/n,” Jeognhan puts his hand over yours, giving you a solemn look, his frown mimicking yours.
The knot in your throat intensified as he stared at you, causing you to swallow harshly.
“It’s fine, I got used to it. It’s the reason why I moved cities,” you admit as he continues to hold your hand reassuringly. “They just expected so much from me, being the only child and all, and it got so bad to the point that the only time they spoke to me were to criticize my actions. I just knew that I would be happier if I didn’t have to be around them all the time.”
A bitter laugh leaves your lips, the tears in your eyes threatening to spill. If it weren’t for the fact that you had alcohol running through your system, you probably wouldn’t feel so emotional. Your parents are supposed to be the ones taking care of you and to be there for you when you need to be, but it seemed like the total opposite. Instead, they were the ones you couldn’t share anything with, not even when you told them that you got accepted to your dream university. Neither of them ever congratulated you on your achievements or milestones, nothing seemed to impress them.
Jeonghan didn’t utter a word, only listening to what you had to say, and it felt nice. For the first time, you could just genuinely share your feelings, without the scrutiny of your parents, without the fear of being ridiculed or being called weak.
“Your parents don’t know anything about you Y/n, and one day they’ll regret every time they doubted you.” Jeonghan shrugs, and it feels like a breath of fresh air, hearing someone comfort you in a way your parents refuse to.
“Thank you Jeonghan,” you whisper, blinking away unshed tears. “I’m sorry for dumping all that on you by the way.”
The guilt in your stomach circled as you realized that your tangent went on longer than you would’ve liked, especially because the conversation was meant to be about him and not you.
It's clear to him that you thought talking about yourself was a selfish act, but it’s not. Jeonghan knew that the reason for your guilt was because of how much your parents neglected and ridiculed you growing up. If anything he feels guilty that he’s only now realizing how nice of a person you are.
“Don’t be. I’m happy to listen.” He squeezes your hand, doing what he can to soothe your pain.
…
You suddenly wake up to find yourself seated with your back resting against the base of the couch. As you begin to regain consciousness from your cat nap, you hear the tv humming softly, the screen glowing as it plays a random movie. You also realized that your head was resting gently on Jeonghan’s shoulder, causing you to jolt up slightly from your position.
“Rise and shine sleepyhead,” Jeonghan chirps, chuckling at the way you had just reacted.
You don’t even remember falling asleep, let alone putting your head on his shoulder as you drifted off. The warmth of his body radiating onto yours, the smell of his cologne wafting off of him and enveloping your senses. At least he doesn’t stink, you thought to yourself.
“I don’t even remember falling asleep, sorry,” you murmured, your cheeks turning red.
The ambient lighting reflected onto Jeonghan’s face, the clear view of his smug expression made you want to smack him. There’s a glint in his eyes, one that you couldn’t really put a finger on. His arm is over your shoulder, which you didn’t realize was around you till now. Rubbing up at down your arm soothingly, it causes you to lean into his touch even more. You weren’t sure what had possessed you to do so, but all thoughts had left your head. Relaxation flowed through your veins, causing you to not think too much of the situation you’ve been put in.
His touch is innocent, but the hair on your arm raises with each brush of Jeonghan’s palm.
As you became more calm with each second that passed, you put your head on his shoulder once again. Embracing the intimate position you’ve been put in with your roommate of all people. You decide to just watch the movie that was playing, even though you didn’t know what was going on. Anything to stop you from thinking too much about the fact that you’re practically cuddled up with Jeonghan; the man who you despised not too long ago.
“It’s fine, you seemed pretty drowsy from the wine,” he whispers in your ear, his breath fanning across the side of your face from the close proximity. “Remind me not to let you drink so much.”
“I don’t drink often, I'm pretty sure I'm still a little tipsy,” you laugh, still staring at the flashing scenes coming off the screen.
You can see Joenghan observing you from your peripheral vision, his eyes scanning your face for any type of discomfort. He couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol he had drank or the atmosphere of the cozy apartment, but he didn’t hate that he was holding you close. You were so focused on the TV, yet he found you more interesting than whatever movie he decided to put on. Eyebrows scrunched with concentration, lips in a line as you continued to pay attention to the characters in front of you. The red tint on your cheeks from the alcohol looked good to him, even when doing the most mundane act of watching a movie.
“Y/n,” Jeonghan calls out for you with his soft voice, eyes entranced by your beauty.
“Hmm?” you respond to him, finally meeting face-to-face with him. Taken aback by how close he had gotten as you turned to look at him, your eyes grew wide.
He doesn’t say much more, only taking his other hand to grab ahold of your chin, levelling your face with his. Looking down at your lips and then back to your eyes, makes your palms sweat. All your thoughts are in disarray as he moves close enough to nudge his nose against yours. Practically tasting you, but not close enough to feel his lips on yours.
Frozen in your spot on the carpet, you don’t move an inch, even though you could feel him starting to close the gap between you. A part of you is telling you to run away, push him off, anything, but your body stays still. Wrapped in his embrace, you don’t want to leave, not even when you begin to feel his lips place a soft kiss on yours.
His warm lips are plush as he presses himself against you even more. The world crumbles away as you kiss him back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to stabilize yourself. He becomes rougher, kissing you with more intent. Jeonghan takes his hand off your chin to wrap it around your waist, pulling you over and onto his lap. You can’t help but gasp at how fast he’s able to dominate the situation, but you don’t stop moving along with him.
For once in your life, you release yourself from self-doubt and overthinking. Letting Jeonghan take over all your thoughts, all of your senses. It’s all you can think about now, Jeonghan, Jeonghan, Jeonghan, his name replaying in your head. No one else at that moment existed except you and him, and it causes you to kiss him back with the same determination.
He grips onto your hips, feeling you up, kissing you for all he’s worth. As if you're the only source of water during a year-long drought. A groan bubbles up from his throat as you grind yourself against his crotch, and you can’t help but moan back in response. He takes that opportunity to force his tongue past your lips, licking the inside of your mouth. It felt so damn good that you can only grind against him harder. The kiss became wetter, messier, with each passing second.
“F-fuck, you can’t move like that sweetheart,” he detaches his lips from yours, groaning from how you keep pressing yourself against his growing erection.
It’s the first time you’ve seen him so flustered, and the look on his face is addicting. You’ve never kissed anyone before, but you were just trying to go along with the flow he had set.
“Are you ok? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” you pant out, still out of breath from the little make-out session you just had.
You weren’t born yesterday, and the more you shuffle against his body, you begin to feel his hard-on brush up against the inside of your thigh. It makes you gasp, you didn’t realize how turned on Jeonghan had become just from kissing you. The experience of even just kissing someone was foreign to you, whatever it is that you were doing, he obviously enjoyed it.
“Oh,” is all you can say after discovering how hard he is under you.
“I didn’t tell you to stop though, did I?” He says, eyes lidded as he looks at your flushed face.
He connects your lips with his once again, his hands travelling up your shorts and under them, groping at the soft skin of your ass, forcing you to grind against his length. A moan leaves your lips as you feel him touch you in such a lewd way, but you don’t want to stop. The pleasure of it all rewires your brain as you become more obsessed with the feeling of him all over you.
“T-that feels really good,” you whimper against him, shamelessy starting to grind against him on your own accord.
He lets out a chuckle before detaching his lips to place wet, hot kisses against your neck, moving down further to suckle on the base of your throat and collarbones. This is the first time you felt someone kiss you there, or anywhere to be honest, but you didn’t want him to stop. Not after knowing how good he is with just his mouth and hands all over you.
“We can’t keep going or I’ll lose my self-control,” he breathes against your neck, his harsh grip still kneading your ass. The reality of the situation finally seeped into his brain. You whine against him, the last thing you want him to do is stop, but he does so anyway, pulling you off him. The only sound of both of your heavy breathing echoes throughout the apartment.
“Oh okay,” you feel a little rejected, not sure why he couldn’t go any further with you.
“It’s not that I didn’t like it, but I want you to be fully sober the next time I kiss you,” is all he says before he walks away, going back to his room without another word.
You’re left dumbfounded; the short, yet hot make out session started to finally sink in. It made you stop and think for a moment, would you even have gone further if he allowed it? Would you have let him fuck you on the floor of your shared apartment? It scared you how fast you made up your mind, the thought of him pleasuring you sending a shock throughout your whole body.
It’s not every day you kiss your roommate who you thought you hated. As you try to recollect your thoughts, you realize how all of this could lead you down a really bad path. But a part of you is curious as to what would have happened if Jeonghan hadn’t stopped himself.
VI.
It’s the next morning and your university sent out another email that classes will go back to regular scheduling the following day. You felt relief that the snowstorm wasn’t too extreme but at the same time, you didn’t want to return after the short break. School was the least of your worries though, the thoughts of what happened last night with Jeonghan stayed at the forefront of your mind.
You woke up before him, bright and early, others would think you’re just an early riser, but in reality, it was because you were up all night replaying the moments of when you lost your first kiss to your roommate. Not being able to get a wink of sleep, you decided to stay up till morning, early enough to make breakfast for yourself. It made you feel a little pathetic, knowing how easy it was for Jeonghan to conquer all your waking thoughts.
If only you knew that he faced the same problem as he tried his best to fall asleep.
“Morning,” Jeonghan walks into the kitchen nonchalantly, catching a glimpse of you cooking by the stove.
His sudden presence startles you, causing you to yelp out while cooking a batch of scrambled eggs. Turning around your eyes couldn’t help but trail down his frame, his long blond hair flowing to his shoulders, not wearing anything but a pair of grey sweatpants, his boxers slightly peaking past the waistband. You were practically drooling as he stood there, his arms crossed accentuating his biceps.
“Do you have to sneak up on me every time?” You mutter, breaking away your gaze from his body to regain focus on your current task. The eggs in your pan slightly burnt because of how much Jeonghan distracted you.
He laughs at you, noticing the now brown eggs that sit sadly in your frying pan. Watching your shoulders slump with disappointment, he can’t help but admire you right back. Your sleep shorts and long T-shirt did not leave much up to the imagination. It wasn’t even noon but Jeonghan couldn’t help but imagine fucking you against the kitchen counter.
“I didn’t know I had to announce my presence every time, my bad, princess,” Jeonghan teases, observing how you react to the name he’s given you.
Striding to where you stand, he comes up right behind you placing his hands on your hips, close enough that you could feel his breath tickle the nape of your neck. It leaves you breathless, and you finally understand why so many girls are desperate to get a lick of his attention. Even his slightest actions exude some sort of attractiveness, an effect you didn’t fully realize he had till last night’s hot make-out session.
You try to ignore your intrusive thoughts, ignoring how close he’s standing behind you. As you plate up your food, he continues to follow you around, trying to get you to crack under the sexual tension he had created between the two of you.
“Could you just stand still for one minute?” you sigh, feeling him coming behind you again, arms around your waist.
“Why won’t you look at me?” he answers you with a question, and you can practically hear the pout in his voice.
“Maybe because there’s a hot pan in my hand right now, and you keep trying to annoy me,” you chastise him, your voice coming out breathier than you wanted. He continues pestering you, feeling up your waist, not wanting to let you go so easily.
His large hands hold you close, your ass right against his front as you try to finish up what you’re doing in the kitchen. It was hard to ignore a man like Jeonghan, especially because he was refusing to relinquish his hold on you as you placed the pan back onto the stove to cool down.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you last night,” he admits, his voice a little rough from just waking up.
You sigh, turning around to face him, his arms moving to inclose you against the counter. The lust in his eyes is clear as if the only thing he’s hungry for this morning is you.
“Me neither,” you whisper back, his body so close to yours to the point that you could hear his heartbeat against his chest.
Looking into his eyes, you could see the mischievous glint reflecting against the morning sun. Is it too early for you to be horny for your roommate? Maybe. But you didn’t care, after having a taste of Jeonghan last night, all you want is more of him.
Once those words were uttered, Jeonghan didn’t waste any more time. His mouth claimed yours in a heated kiss, making you dizzy and out of breath. As he forces his tongue past your lips, you can’t help but moan out of surprise. The grip he has on you only gets tighter until he lifts you onto the kitchen island, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist. The counter is at the perfect height, allowing you to feel his erection right against your heat. Jeonghan presses into you harder, allowing his clothed length to brush up against you, making you whimper against his lips.
“J-Jeonghan,” you moan out for him as his lips trail down your neck just like last night. The feeling of him pressed up against is so addicting, to the point that you’ve forgotten about your breakfast that is plated beside you.
He doesn’t dare stop showering you with kisses, his hands travelling up and under your shirt to grope at your breasts, playing with your hardened nipples. He’s thankful you were still in your pyjamas, no bra to stop him from touching your full mounds.
“You’ll be my breakfast for today, is that okay with you?” he mumbles against your neck and you can only nod in response.
Your eagerness makes him chuckle, and you can feel the vibration of his voice along your skin. He pulls back from you, swiftly removing the oversized shirt you have on. He groans at the sight, seeing your body for on display for him. His hard member twitches in his pants as he takes in every inch of your curves. Jeonghan can’t help but dive back into your breasts, taking one in his mouth, licking and suckling on your nipple while he massages the other.
“That feels so good,” you moan, eyes closed as you lose yourself in the pleasure of his mouth.
He’s only paying attention to your chest, but the bottom half of you is becoming wet and needy with every second that passes. Jeonghan is obsessed with the way you moan for him, the sounds coming from your mouth are so unholy, it’s all he wants to hear from you from now on. Just seeing you spread out for him like this is making his thoughts run a million miles per hour. He has so much he wants to do for you, but he decides to take his time, wanting to just savour each inch of your body.
“I can’t get enough of you,” he sighs, pulling his mouth away from your body, standing back a little to take you in more clearly.
You already looked so fucked out, and he loves it. He loves seeing your bare chest heaving, hair dishevelled, lips red and swollen. This image of you is so drastic from when he first met you, he never thought you’d be so submissive and needy for him. The blood rushing from his brain down to his dick, it's almost painful how hard he is, but he doesn’t care. He wants to see you come undone from his mouth before anything else.
“Can I taste you baby?” he asks so sweetly as if he isn’t asking to make you cum from just his tongue.
The ache between your legs intensifies, causing you to shut them close to allow yourself some type of relief. You’ve never been this aroused before. Of course, you’ve touched and played with yourself before, but you’ve never had anyone eat you out. The yearning to experience it grows tenfold as you watch him move closer, removing your shorts and panties in one go.
“I’ve never done this before,” you admit to him, avoiding his gaze as your cheeks turn red. Your legs shut in an instant as you feel the cold air hit your wet core.
Jeonghan sighs, gripping your face between his hands, your cheeks squished between his fingers. His dominant side begins to show as he stares at you with a serious look in his eyes. You find him so sexy as he examines you with so much lust, the wetness in your legs becomes harder to ignore the longer you two stay in this position.
“I don’t mind, as long as you’re okay with me eating you out,” he assured, waiting for your approval.
“I’m more than okay with it,” you nod eagerly, taking his hand off your face and placing it between your legs, “touch me here, please Jeonghan.”
You sound so needy for him, it makes his head fill with thoughts of you under him, begging him to fuck you harder. But that's for next time, he concludes, right now he just wants you to feel the pleasure of his fingers and tongue.
Without pausing, he forces your legs apart, spread for him so wide to the point that your body begins to ache at your knees and hips. Jeonghan doesn’t care, his eyes are still trained on your glistening cunt, so exposed for him, all for him. Running a finger against your slit, he tests the waters, and you immediately react with a moan. He’s barely touched you but you’re so responsive; the sounds you’re making practically frying his brain.
He doesn’t stop because he’s only focused on making you cum against his mouth. Starting with his fingers, he rubs your clit lightly, giving it much-needed attention. Your hands fly up to his shoulders, trying to stabilize yourself as he continues to play with you.
“Fuck you’re so wet,” he grunts before inserting a finger into your sopping hole. “And so tight.”
You moan as he breaches your entrance with his fingers, the feeling of him inside you making your eyes roll to the back of your head. He takes the intensity up a notch, allowing a second finger past your folds. You’ve never felt this full before, your own fingers feel like nothing compared to Jeonghan’s.
“Hmm Jeonghan please,” you beg him, for what exactly, you weren’t sure; all you know is that you need more of him.
Hearing you whiny, breathless and begging for him makes him groan as he watches your face contort with pleasure. The scrunch of your eyebrows as your small hands grip his shoulders in enough to make him cum in his pants.
He continues his ministrations, pumping into and out of your pussy till the only thing he can hear is your moans and the sound of your walls squelching against his fingers. The familiar feeling of an orgasm is approaching quickly, causing you to spasm against his wet digits. But he doesn’t stop there, instead, he removes his fingers to get on his knees, face levelling with your spent core.
“So wet for me aren’t you?” he chuckles as you feel his hot breath against your entrance. “I bet you’re as sweet as I imagined too.”
Taking his tongue he places a long languid lick against your wetness, flicking it up and down till it has you gripping onto his locks. One hand pinning you down as the other teases your hole.
The feeling of his mouth against your cunt is much more intense than having his fingers inside you. It felt so good, you thought drool was about to escape past your lips. Jeonghan doesn’t go easy on you, even if it’s your first time receiving oral. His mind only focused on feeling you release onto his tongue.
“Ah! Jeonghan please,” you continue begging, gripping his hair the more his tongue plays with your pussy.
He ignores your pleading, thrusting his fingers, tongue sucking and biting on your bundle of nerves. You look down at him, his eyes piercing yours as he eats you out. The image of his mouth on your cunt is so lewd, but you love it. You love having him kneel in front of you, doing what he can just so you can reach your orgasm.
“I-i’m gonna cum,” you moan out, your head lolling back as you release onto his tongue.
“You did so well princess,” he praises you, standing up so that you two are at eye level once more.
Jeonghan’s chin is wet with your release, his lips red and pouty from how hard he was trying to get you to your climax. He doesn’t break eye contact with you as he places his soaked fingers against your lips, forcing you to taste your cum on his fingers. He grins as you obediently lick them clean, imagining it's his cock in your mouth instead. As much as he yearns for more, he stops there, not trying to overwhelm you after such an intense orgasm.
“Best breakfast I’ve had in a while,” he smirks as he watches you come down from your high.
Collecting your clothes from the kitchen floor, he places them back on your body. Your mind still buzzing with pleasure, and you couldn’t find the strength to reply to his comments. Instead, you just allow him to carry you into the washroom to get you cleaned up.
VII.
The last time you had seen Jeonghan was the night before school started up again. The two of you didn’t really talk about it after it happened, he just cleaned you up and asked if you wanted to finish the Legos together. He talked to you more about his family but after that, it was mostly silent. You gave up going to bed, tired, and did not want to wake up late for classes the next day. The little ramen shop had been left unfinished, the remaining pieces were few but still scattered on your shared coffee table.
Now that you were back to your regular schedule you were starting to feel a little rejected, Jeonghan occupying most of your thoughts, did he miss your presence as much as you missed his? How can two people live together but not get to communicate for even a moment? Everything was fine between you two, except for the fact that he was asleep before you left for school, and you were asleep by the time he got home. It left a weird feeling in your stomach that your last interaction with him was the day he ate you out.
He isn’t your boyfriend, you’re not sure if he’s even your friend yet, but you two are something. What do you even call a person who you’ve hooked up with and also share an apartment with? There are so many unanswered questions circulating in your brain, but would Jeonghan be able to answer them? It frustrates you how one moment between you changed everything. You’re a smart girl, but when it comes to men it’s like all knowledge has left your head.
“Y/n, you okay? You’re spacing out,” Seungkwan queried, tapping your shoulder to bring you out of your thoughts.
“Huh? Oh. Yeah, I'm fine.” You give him a small smile before refocusing on your lecture.
Seungkwan wasn’t so convinced, he could tell you had a lot on your mind, but he just wasn’t sure what it was. You two have only known each other for a while, so he decided to trust that you were okay, hoping that you would talk to him about it when you were ready.
“If you say so, but I’m here if you need me.” He gives you a reassuring smile, squeezing your shoulder.
It felt nice to know you had someone to lean on when you needed it, to finally have people around you that are aware of your feelings. You knew from the moment you met him that Seungkwan was going to be one of those people you could be friends with for a long time. He’s so observant, aware of others' feelings, and overall comforting to be around. It made you wonder why you didn’t move earlier, especially because the people you were destined to be friends with were here the whole time.
“Thanks, Kwan, you’re the best,” you whisper, trying not to disrupt the class going on.
Even though you tried to focus on what the professor was talking about, your thoughts still led back to the man who lives less than ten feet away from you.
…
“You did all that with her… on your kitchen counter?” Joshua gives Jeonghan an incredulous look. “Dude we eat there.”
“Well I was eating wasn’t I?” Jeonghan bites back, not wanting to hear Joshua scold him.
The two of them are sitting on Joshua’s couch, blunt in hand as they catch each other up on both their lives. It seems that Joshua missed out on a few things since the snowstorm had hit their city. Quite a lot more than he was expecting, but he wasn’t all that surprised. He knows if you put a woman and Jeonghan in a room all alone, something is bound to happen.
“You’re actually disgusting,” he rolls his eyes, passing the lit blunt over to Jeonghan. “Have you talked to her?”
Jeonghan sighs, grabbing the weed from his friend to take a hit, the smoke immediately filling his lungs, calming him with every puff that he lets out.
He hasn’t seen you since the last night of the snowstorm, and he isn’t sure where the two of you stand, but he does know that it won’t be the last time he has you cumming for him. He’ll make sure of it.
“No, haven’t seen her since that Wednesday,” he shrugs, passing the joint back over to his friend.
“Bro, what the fuck? It’s Friday, she probably thinks you don’t want to talk to her again.” Joshua gives him a disapproving look, but still takes another puff of the blunt handed over to him.
Jeonghan wasn’t sure how to reach out to you, he isn’t even the type to go back for seconds either. Yet he wants seconds with you, thirds, and even fourths, but how does he tell you that without sounding like he’s completely simp? It’s just not his style to beg, his pride tends to get in the way.
“Do you want to talk to her again?” Joshua asks him, curious as to whether this is someone his friend is actually falling for.
Joshua has watched Jeonghan go through his fair share of girl problems, but in all the years he’s known Jeonghan, he’s never seen him fall in love once. He assumes it’s his mommy issues or the fact that he doesn’t like being tied down to one person, but even then, the most indifferent of people can fall for the right person.
“I do. She’s different, Shua,” Jeonghan sighs, the high finally reaching his brain, the world becoming a fuzzy background.
That moment with you two building legos that day lives rent-free in his mind, your willingness to open up to him made him feel warm inside. He felt like the Grinch who’s heart grew ten times bigger after watching you be so vulnerable with him. The view he had on you changed completely, from being his annoying roommate to a girl who’s smart, strong, and enjoyable to be around. You two had a lot in common and it surprised him, and it surprised him that he was able to get along with you, despite all the arguing he put you through.
“Then what the hell are you doing? Talk to her!” Joshuas chastises him, trying to knock some sense into the idiot he calls his friend.
They both look at each other for a moment, eyes red from the weed they had been smoking. A disappointed sigh left Joshua’s lips. Even though he could feel his high hitting him, he felt as though he still had more common sense than Jeonghan had when he was sober.
“And say what? Hey, I liked eating you out, can we do it again?” Jeonghan scoffs, still not sure how to bring up what had gone down that day.
“Yes? That’s what you want isn’t it?”
“It is, but that makes me sound like a needy loser,” Jeonghan grimaces before finishing off the rest of the shared joint in hand, leaving the rest in the ashtray on the table in front of him.
“You’re so annoying, let your pride go for once before she starts to resent you again,” Joshua huffs, annoyed that he’s high and still dealing with Jeonghan’s shit, “She literally just forgave you for being an asshole too, so don’t fuck up again please, for my mental health.”
Although Jeonghan hates to admit it, Joshua is right. He knows that he should at least put effort in talking to you, but he just doesn’t know where to start. Hopefully, you’re still willing to talk to him, or else Joshua might just nag his ear off till he’s old and shrivelled.
VIII.
Beep beep beep. Click.
The sound of the door unlocking brings you out of your thoughts, and you know exactly who it is. Your heart is pounding out of your chest as you sit on the couch, attempting to act unbothered as Jeonghan makes his way past the front entrance. Conflicted on whether you should address his presence or not, you decide to continue watching Gossip Girl as if he’s not there.
“Y/n.” Your heart skips a beat as you hear him call out for you.
You don’t even look at him, just letting out a “Hmm?”, eyes pretending to be trained on the TV. There’s a little bit of shuffling in the front room before he comes over to sit beside you on the couch.
Jeonghan settles down a little too close to you, close enough for you to smell the scent of cologne and weed waft off of him and into your nostrils. The smell is strong yet not unpleasant, if anything you felt more attracted to him because of it.
“I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk since…” He trails off, causing you to finally glance over at him.
His eyes were a bit red and glossed over, he must’ve still been a little high. The way he was staring you down like he just wanted to eat you, it was intoxicating.
“Yeah, I guess we didn’t get to talk about what happened in the kitchen.” You try to keep your cool, but on the inside, you were freaking out.
Not only because Jeonghan was actually making an effort to talk about what happened, but also because he looks so good right now. The lazy smirk across his face as he slowly invades your space is causing your brain to short circuit.
Putting his arm around you, he leans into the couch a little more, wanting to fill all his senses with you and you only. “I liked it a lot. I just wanted to let you know.”
“Oh,” is all you can say as your heart starts to pound in your chest.
You weren’t sure on how to reply, this is the first time you’ve casually hooked up with someone. It was the first time you’ve hooked up with someone in general, and even though you want to proceed with caution, it’s like all thoughts leave your head when Jeonghan is around you.
“I liked it too,” you finally tell him, scared he might just be saying all this because he’s still high.
The same lazy smirk appears his on face again, eyes lidded as he stares at your features. Images of you cumming on his tongue fill his thoughts again; he can already feel all the blood rushing to his lower half. Just the sight of you spread out on the countertop for him could get him to cum in his pants, no matter how experienced he is. It hasn’t happened to him before, but you may just be the first person to get him there.
“Would you be down to do it again?” he propositions, searching for any type of indication that you would indulge in his darkest fantasies.
You look at him with uncertainty, even though you liked how he ate you out, would it be worth it to do it again? Would it be worth it to give him a piece of you, one that you thought you were going to save for someone who truly loved you? There’s so many questions you’re asking yourself, but the way Jeonghan’s gaze is trained on you has all those thoughts slipping away from your brain at the speed of light.
Before even getting the chance to speak, you decide to let your actions do the talking instead.
With one abrupt motion, you settle yourself on Jeonghan’s lap, immediately placing your lips on his with a sense of urgency. He’s taken aback with how forward you’ve become, but lets himself melt into the kiss regardless. Gripping harshly onto your hips, he kisses you back with as much passion, licking the inside of your mouth as if it holds the answers to all his problems.
A moan slips past your lips as you feel his growing bulge rub against you through your thin sleep shorts, the way it’s poking at your clothed clit in the most delicious way has you going delirious with pleasure.
“You sound so pretty when you moan like that,” he breathes against your neck, kissing his way down to your collarbones.
As you lean more into his touch, Jeonghan’s hands find themselves back under your shorts once more. Gripping the flesh of your ass harshly before reconnecting your lips with his in a sloppy, wet kiss. His touch is hot and addicting like you could spend hours on top of him like this. The feeling of his body under yours has your stomach doing backflips as he continues to kiss you till your lips are bruised and red.
“More,” you beg him, trying to indulge in all the pleasure he’s giving you.
Jeonghan pulls away, his eyebrows raising with intrigue as he finally sobers up from his high. He wants nothing more than to take you onto his bed and fuck you like no tomorrow, but he has a feeling that that won’t happen tonight. Not that it bothers him, just that he wants to be in a better state before feeling you around his achingly hard dick.
It’s so out of character for him to take things slow, especially because he’s always been a one-and-done type of guy. But this is different to him, hooking up with you is like he’s experiencing it all for the first time again.
“You want me to fuck you, don’t you?” The wolfish grin on his face reaches his eyes, satisfied with how cock drunk you look, and he’s barely touched you yet.
Nodding vigorously with pleading eyes, you grip his biceps in desperation. He doesn’t concede to your request just yet, instead, he simply pulls you off his lap to take you to his room. You follow him wordlessly, nervous as to what he has cooking up in that delinquent brain of his.
He sits you on the bed, telling you to stay put as he ruffles around his room in search of something. As he continued to seek out whatever it was, you began to take a look around his room, realizing that you’d never actually been inside it. The decorations adorning his room made it look so cozy; especially the warm mushroom lamp sitting on his nightstand and the fluffy blankets that lined his bed. The initial impression of his room screamed Jeonghan, especially because it’s so calm and comforting, even if your first impression of him was the complete opposite. After getting to know him a bit more, his personality translates clearly into his choice of decorations.
“Found it!” he exclaims, turning around to show you what's in his hands.
A small bong in one and a tiny bag of weed in the other. You give him a questioning look but you already know what he is trying to allude to.
“You want me to try it?” you ask him with uncertainty, but also not completely against the idea.
He nods before quickly leaving to fill the glass bowl with some water. Only a few seconds later, he returns, taking a seat beside you on his bed. You weren’t sure what to do so you moved to lay against his headboard, watching him as he meticulously prepared the weed to pack into the bowl. His slender fingers wrap around the grinder till the flower is fine enough to smoke. Continuing to observe him, your eyes waver to his form, hunched over next to you as he places a few sprinkles of the drug into the slider. His biceps flex and unflexing with each movement he makes causing your mouth to salivate. You never thought someone could look so attractive simply packing a bowl of weed.
“I’ll show you how it’s done first,” he smirks, already loving where this is going.
Just because he won’t fuck you tonight doesn’t mean you couldn’t have a little bit of fun in the meantime.
Jeonghan takes his lighter, sparking the drug till it's ready to be inhaled. The water inside the bong begins to bubble as he inhales, allowing the smoke to enter his lungs. Once all the white smoke leaves the stem he holds it in his mouth, dragging you by the arm to bring you closer to him. You aren’t sure where this is going, but you decide to just follow his lead.
His face comes closer to yours, one hand on the bong to keep it steady, his free hand reaching for the side of your cheek, pulling you into an almost kiss. While his hand is on your cheek, he pulls your lower lip down with his thumb, indicating for you to open your mouth for him. He holds his breath till you comply, not wanting any of the vapour to go to waste.
Once you do what he wants, he moves in even closer, till your lips are whispering against his. Then he lets go, allowing the smoke to enter your mouth, noses brushing against one another from the close proximity.
“Be a good girl and inhale it for me,” he mutters, eyes trained on your face as you oblige to his request.
The smell of the weed and his scent make your insides melt, and you can feel the wetness of your arousal starting to stick to your panties. You know enough about the drug to know that the effects of the weed won’t hit you right away, but the new experience is starting to excite you, making your body jitter with anticipation.
Placing the bong on your lap, he packs another bowl expertly like it’s his everyday routine. You copy what he did earlier, placing your lips inside the rim and looking at him through your lashes as he lights it up. The water begins to bubble again as you try to inhale as much smoke as possible, but you are only able to take about half of what is in the stem.
Your lungs felt like they were on fire, causing you to cough a bit from the heat of the smoke. Jeonghan only chuckles at your reaction, finding it endearing how hard you tried to take it all. He finishes off the rest of what’s left, blowing it out once it was inhaled properly before placing the glass onto his nightstand and pulling you onto his lap once more.
“You did pretty well for a newbie,” he laughs, eyes lighting up as he notices that your gaze is now glossed over, the weed finally taking its effect.
The heat on your cheeks clearly indicated that you felt flustered, all you wanted now was for him to pleasure you like he did once before. You hide your face into the crevice of his neck, not wanting him to see how red your face has gotten.
“I didn’t think the first time I’d try weed would be with you,” your voice is muffled, still not really fully grasp the situation, or how you even ended up on his bed both high and horny.
“Did you enjoy it at least?” he asks you, pulling your face out from where you were hiding.
You nod, not able to look him in the eye as he rubs his hands up and down your sides, soothing you while your brain becomes foggy with thoughts of only him. Leaning into his touch more, you place a peck on his lips, giggling at how innocent it is compared to the position you’re in right now. He smiles up at you before leaning into you to give you a proper kiss.
You’re completely engulfed in him, the weed heightening your senses, making you more sensitive to his touch. Every brush of his fingers is like a burst of mini fireworks exploding against your skin. It felt so good, having him in this way, underneath you and feeling the same sensations that you were experiencing.
He groans as you deepen his kiss, grinding your hips against him just like you did not too long before. Jeonghan’s hands massage your bare thighs, wanting to hold onto you till you are out of breath.
“Feels good, doesn’t it,” he mumbles against your lips, and you can only moan back in response.
“Want you, please Hannie.” Your brain is mush, the nickname slipping past your lips accidentally, but with the way he groans, you can tell he enjoys the sound of it.
Pulling away from his face completely, he watches your red eyes beg for him to take you. His resolve falters a little bit, but he’s adamant about his decision. He won’t fuck you, not when you’re both high.
“Not today love, not like this,” he sighs, kissing up your neck, marking you till a little bruise forms.
You whine, gripping onto his hair, letting the strands flow through your fingers. He enjoys the way you tug at him, his boner twitching underneath you. The feeling of his hard length flush against your clothed core makes you grind against him even faster. It made you wonder what it would feel like if he was actually in you, his length filling your velvet walls, but you don’t mind waiting till you’re actually sober enough to register everything.
“I want to do something for you though,” you pout, your lip jutted out slightly.
She’s cute when she’s high, he thinks to himself, enjoying this new side of you. Needy, submissive, just wanting to give yourself up to him.
“Fuck, you’re adorable,” he says as he rests his head against the headboard, wanting to observe your every feature. “Wanna suck me off? Would you do that for me, baby?”
You don’t need to be asked twice, getting off his lap till your face is positioned in front of his clothed erection. Jeonghan’s upper body is sat against the headboard, your intoxicating figure between his legs.
This is the first time you’ve had the opportunity to give someone oral, and you were a little bit nervous about what to do. The anxious look on your face is clear as Jeonghan looks down at you. Luckily enough, you’ve seen a few pornos in your lifetime, so you use that to guide you on what to do next.
A hand creeps up towards the band of his sweats, pulling down on both his pants and his boxers till his hard member slaps against his stomach. Jeonghan lets out a hiss as the cold air hits his length, the tip red and dripping with pre cum. The length surprised you, and you wondered if it would even fit inside you at all.
You start by pumping his hardness up and down, collecting the drops of cum to lubricate your movements. Jeonghan gasps at the feeling, watching your small hand wrap around him. The lewdness of the situation turned him on even more.
“You’re doing well baby,” he lets out with a strangled grunt, trying not to cum at the sight of you playing with him.
The confidence of his praise radiated throughout your whole body, leading to your rookie mistake. You engulf his length in his mouth, trying to fit the whole thing, just wanting to give him the same pleasure he gives to you. Jeonghan yelps from how quick you are to take him whole, grabbing you by your hair to remove you from his dick.
“Fuck, just wait, try starting slower, maybe lick it a little first,” he says with laboured breaths, trying to calm down from the heat of your mouth.
Your cheeks flush from his advice, letting out a small sorry before doing what he says.
Going slower this time, you stick your tongue out, licking and kissing up and down his member, hearing Jeonghan let out a satisfied sigh. You watch him through your lashes, his eyes lidded and red, filled with want as you continue your ministrations.
“Just like that, fuck…” he continues to praise you, his fingers carding through the strands of your hair, helping you get it out of your face.
Your confidence peaks again as you begin to take his tip into your mouth. Sucking on it like it was a popsicle on a hot, sunny day. Jeonghan’s head lolls back and he begins to push your head down to take more of him. Going along with the rhythm, you slowly take more and more of him, to the point where his tip starts to hit the back of your throat. It almost makes you choke, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.
Jeonghan on the other hand is completely enraptured by you and the way you’re taking his cock so well. The feeling of release slowly starts to creep up as you continue to bob your head down, the sounds of your mouth being fucked by Jeonghan’s member filling the room.
“I'm close,” He groans, his grip on your hair tightening.
The pace he set starts to speed up as you continue sucking on him, the underside of his length constantly being brushed by your wet tongue. The hand you placed on his thigh moves to massage the rest of him, the combination of both your hand and mouth sending Jeonghan over that impending edge.
“Fuuck,” he swears, releasing his sticky load into your mouth. He watches you as you begin to sit up, not sure what to do with his cum, “Swallow it.”
You do what he says, swallowing his seed. It didn’t taste as horrible as you expected it to, but it was extremely salty, causing you to make a face after.
He only laughs at you, but pulls you into a kiss, placing you back onto his lap. Jeonghan admires your form, his hands trailing on your soft skin under your shirt. He gives you a look, silently asking permission to take it off of you, making you nod. Pulling it off, he goes straight for your breasts, kissing and sucking on them. You couldn’t help but moan, your hand finding its way to his long hair once again.
“You must be soaked down there by now,” he mumbles as he continues to pepper kisses along your chest. “Want me to help with that?”
“Please.”
He smiles against your breasts, clearly enjoying how needy you are getting for him. Grabbing you by the waist, he flips the two of you around till you're laying underneath him. A sound of surprise leaves your lips, but Jeonghan only smirks, ready to devour you.
The next piece of fabric to leave your body is your shorts, then your panties. He throws them over his shoulder without a care in the world. The only thing he’s focused on right now is to make you feel good.
He hooks the back of your thigh on his shoulders, your pussy glistening under the ambient lighting. Licking his lips, he doesn’t waste any more time teasing you, diving into the heat of your core. The pads of his fingers are prodding at your entrance, his tongue suckling on your puffy clit.
The overflow of senses causes your hips to jolt up, and the sound of a half scream half moan fills Jeonghan’s ears. He hums against your mound in approval, enjoying how he has you squirming. The vibrations of his low voice make your eyes roll back, palms gripping the sheets as he continues to lick at your folds.
“Hannie,” you whine, the nickname sounds like heaven to him coming from you.
Jeonghan starts to get tunnel vision, focused on getting you to release, fast and hard. Two fingers breach your entrance, pumping in and out of you in a rushed pace. The feeling of his mouth right where you need it causes your spine to tingle, your head still buzzing from the high the weed gave you. This time is much more intense than the last, your legs wrapping themselves around his head like earmuffs as he continues to eat you.
Every push and pull of his fingers, every lick from his tongue, you feel like you’re going crazy in the best possible way. The sound of him fingering you bouncing off the walls of his bedroom adds to it all. He begins to pay extra attention to your sensitive bud, kissing and sucking until he feels the gush of your orgasm on his fingers.
“Hannie, please.” You’re practically sobbing from the pleasure, your body trying to recover from the intense climax.
He looks up at you from where he’s laying, your face fucked out, lips swollen, body covered in purple and red from when he was marking you earlier. You looked like his own personal angel, one that came down from heaven just for him to corrupt. He loved the thought of being able to see you in such a compromising position, legs spread and wet from his saliva and your arousal. The tears falling down your cheeks are his favourite part, the fact that he can have you crying and begging for him in seconds gives him an unexplainable rush.
Your eyebrows are knitted, breathing laboured from the high Jeonghan gave you. A high that is a million times better than the weed you smoked less than a couple hours ago.
“You’re so fucking sexy like this angel,” he coins a new pet name for you, it fits you so well. Your body practically glowing after he had his way with you.
“I’m tired now,” you pout, taking his chin into your hand, and guiding him back to you until the two of you are face to face.
“You can sleep here if you’d like,” he mumbles, kissing your cheek, then your lips, then your forehead.
Without a single protest, you get comfortable under his covers, letting his arm wrap around your bare waist as the two of you drift off. The oral sex had sucked out all your energy, literally. The high from the weed began to come down shortly after your orgasm, making your eyes droop and you into a dreamless sleep.
Jeonghan didn’t fall asleep right away though, instead, he opted to watch your peaceful expression, your breathing becoming even as you lay beside him, your arm on top of his as you held him close. He’s completely enamoured by your beauty, it really does feel like you are his personal angel, one sent in disguise as a once annoying roommate. His view of you has completely changed; his thoughts lately have all been connected to you, to the point where he doesn’t think about anything else. None of it settled right with him. The fact that a single thought about you brought him peace, a feeling he didn’t get to experience as often till you.
For the first time in his life, he allowed someone he’s hooked up with to stay the night, not being able to bear the thought of sending you to your own room. He wants to be beside you, even if it means he is breaking the rules he’s set up for himself.
…
When you wake up the first thing you hear is someone snoring in your ear. At first, it alarms you, till you remember you fell asleep in Jeonghan’s bed last night. Your eyes are wide as saucers when you realize that he’s the one gripping your waist while you lay with your back towards him. But what makes your heart skip a beat is how he didn’t ask you to go back to your room after you hooked up. You recall the fact that none of Jeonghan’s previous flings were allowed the stay the night. He didn’t have to tell you that, but you knew from observation that it wasn’t something he let just anyone do. It makes you feel special knowing he asked you, that’s until you recall what type of relationship you two have.
To him, you’re just another girl he’s hooking up with, there’s no label on it. He hasn’t taken you on a date or told you he likes you, so what are you to him? Just his roommate he likes to have fun with? It made your head hurt thinking about it so early in the morning.
You turn to face him, his grip unconsciously tightening with your slight movement. Taking a closer look at him, you’re surprised at how calm he looks while he’s asleep. His face was in a rested state, with no smirk, not even a furrow of the eyebrow. Just Jeonghan.
A strand of hair covers his face, tickling his nose. Before you can think, your hand moves to brush the single strand away, placing it behind his ear as he continues to sleep.
The fact you can even lay here, this close to him, watch him rest peacefully, made your heart do backflips. If someone were to watch from an outside perspective they would assume the two of you are dating, but unfortunately, that’s not the case. The lines of your “friendship” with him have blurred since you two started hooking up, and it’s making you wonder if you should detach from him before things get increasingly complicated.
You sigh out loud, taking one last look at Jeonghan’s sleeping form. Giving him a kiss on the forehead before you collect your clothes and leave his room.
IX.
“So you’re telling me that you and Jeonghan have been hooking up?!” Seungkwan’s jaw drops. “Like Jeonghan, Jeonghan? Yoon Jeonghan, the one I specifically warned you about?”
You can’t help but roll your eyes at your friend as you watch his reaction to what you just told him. Honestly, it’s still hard for even you to believe, that you literally live with the man.
Seungkwan invited you for a study session, which failed miserably after hours passed just catching up. You two decided to just give up and go to the dining hall to eat lunch instead, and then he asked you how things were going with your roommate, one thing led to another, and now you’re getting an earful.
“Yes! Last time I recalled, there’s only one Jeonghanwe both know.” You roll your eyes at him, not wanting him to air out your business to the rest of the students in the dining hall.
He side-eyes you, but you don’t want to hear it from him. You already knew that whatever you had going on with Jeonghan was a bad idea, you didn’t need Seungkwan to tell you that too.
“I hope you’re being careful Y/nie,” he sighs. “Jeonghan and feelings don’t mix.”
You hate to admit it, but he’s right, you know Jeonghan is trouble, but you can’t help but continue to give in to his temptation every time he’s around you.
“I know. I’m trying, but honestly, I’m scared—” Your conversation gets cut off by your phone ringing Your heart drops to the pits of hell when you see the contact ID flashing on the screen. Mom.
You scramble to pick up the phone, a shaky sigh leaving your lips as you hear your mom’s voice through the speaker.
“Y/n? Me and your father would like to have a chat with you,” your mom sighs, the background sounding busy, kind of like how busy it sounds in the dining hall right now.
“M-mom? What? Why?” you stuttered.
Now you’re even more worried because your mom doesn’t call you unless it’s absolutely necessary. Your relationship has never been good, but it got increasingly worse when you told them you were moving away.
Seungkwan who is sitting across from you peers at you with curious eyes. He’s one of the only people who know what you’re parents are like. There have been many drunk conversations about how much you resented them, and he would be there to comfort you every time.
“Well, we’ve come to visit, that’s why,” she declared.
Shit, shit, shit. You’re absolutely fucked.
“Huh? Why?” you continue to press her for answers.
The beating of your heart intensifies as you begin to look around the dining hall, immediately zeroing in on the woman who looks exactly like your mom. If the world ended today, you would die happy. Nothing scares you more than having the people you ran away from showing up at your doorstep, a metaphorical doorstep in this situation.
She spots you almost immediately, your dad points you out because you were probably the only two people who were talking on the phone right now.
The line drops dead the moment you two make eye contact, and for the first time in months, you feel exactly the same way you did when you were still a child. Fearing your parents, having to be around them, enduring their every insult, it was all rushing back to you. You could feel the bile rise in your throat, eyes glossy as she makes her way to your table.
“Y/n,” her tone was still as cold as the day you left.
She glances over at Seungkwan with a grimace, the same one she gave you growing up. It angers you how easy it is for her to look down on one of the people you care about most, but Seungkwan isn’t the one to cower over anyone. He returns her scowl before promptly bidding you farewell, emphasizing that you should text or call him when you are free. You know that it was Seungkwan’s way of telling you to be careful and that he’s here for you once your parents leave. To say the least, you’re grateful that he’s your friend.
“Mom, dad,” you match her tone.
Standing up from your table, you finally meet with her at eye level, putting on a brave face, attempting to show her you’re not scared of her like you once were. You’re older now, but for some reason every time you’re around your parents you feel like that little girl again. The one who didn’t know why her parents couldn’t give her an inkling of their affection, a girl whom they raised through nannies, the same little girl they abandoned time and time again.
“We just wanted to know where our daughter is going to school,” your dad says sternly, his cold demeanour unwavering. “We can’t just pay for it without knowing.”
“We also want to see where you’re living.” your mom adds, looking around to judge the state of the dining hall.
You sigh, a part of you should’ve expected they would come to visit at least once, they are still paying for your tuition. Even then, you just didn’t want to think about seeing them again, just imagining it stresses you out beyond belief. You should’ve known they’re only concerned because they invested their money into you and going to school here. You’ve learnt a long time ago that their money will always be more important to them than their own daughter. Always.
…
In the past few hours, they forced you to tour them around the campus, meet with almost every professor you had for the term, and request a report of your grades from the admissions office. The exhaustion caught up with you quickly, physically and mentally. You felt bad for any of your professors who decided to leave their office hours open, even though it was a Saturday. Watching their confused expressions as they endured every question your parents had asked them.
You walked with them to your apartment in complete silence, and all you could think about was whether Jeonghan was home or not. The day went by excruciatingly slow yet you still didn’t have enough time to warn him about your parents' surprise visit.
Once you finally reached your building, you let them in begrudgingly, their faces filled with disgust as they invaded your space. Your mom is especially annoying, running her fingertips against the counters to check for dust; her designer bad tucked securely against her body as if someone was about to break into the apartment at any moment.
You roll your eyes at her actions, offended that she thought that way of your home. Especially because you deemed it as a safe place to live, not really having any issues since you moved in.
“Y/n, you’re home?” Jeonghan calls out for you from his side of the apartment, causing you to jump slightly from the sudden sound of him shuffling around.
Your parents give you an inquisitive look, confused as to why you didn’t mention that you were living with a roommate.
Jeonghan emerges from the bathroom, shirtless and his long hair damp, using a towel to dry his hair. Your eyes widen at the sight, and you can hear your mom audibly gasp behind you. The blush on your cheeks grows as you start to fully register the situation you’re in.
Before you could even begin to answer him, your mom tugged your arm harshly, pulling you into your bedroom before closing the door.
“What the hell were you thinking, Y/n?!” she practically screams, as if she caught you in the middle of doing the deed. Her eyes are wide, completely in shock at the fact that you’re living with someone else, especially because the person you’re living with is of the opposite gender.
“Y/n, why didn’t you mention that you’re living with someone, let alone a man,” your dad doesn’t raise his voice, but you could tell that he was equally as pissed as your mom.
Oh, this is really bad, you thought. You couldn’t even look them in the eyes, not sure how to respond to their harsh inquiries. A part of you wants to cry, scream, anything, just so that they would leave. Praying to god that they would just go back to your hometown, and not to be seen again.
“I was thinking that I needed a place to live, and I can’t possibly pay rent alone,” you shrug, the anger starting to rush through your veins.
You’re done with your parents, you’re done with their constant ridicule, their need to judge everyone with their noses up in the air, as if they’re better than every person they pass as if they’re better than their own child.
Sometimes you wonder if you’re mother actually gave birth to you, because if she did, why does she treat you like an investment instead of a daughter?
“You’re being incredibly stupid Y/n, we will not tolerate what you’re doing here,” your mom scolds you like you’re a child. “You better come back home, this place isn’t up to standard! You live with a guy who looks like he sells drugs for god’s sake.”
“He has a name you know, and he doesn’t sell drugs!” you say with exasperation, tired of the constant criticism and belittling.
“You don’t get to talk to us like that,” your father seethes, eyes blazing with anger.
“I don’t need you two, you know. I had enough money to pay for the tuition, but yet you offered!” you yell. “If you two don’t like that I’m living with a man, then fine. I don’t care, cut me off! I’m tired of the two of you judging my every move, it’s the reason why I moved out in the first place. Do you even care about me? Or are you just here to make sure you’re getting your money’s worth?”
“Don’t you dare raise your voice at us, young lady,” your mother threatened, pointing a finger at you.
“See! You guys don’t even deny it,” you’re practically on the verge of tears, but you try to stay strong, “I’m not sorry for moving out, if anything it was the best decision I’ve made in my entire life.”
“It better be because we will not accept you if you decide to come back to us when your money runs out,” your dad huffs, not even addressing anything else you’ve said prior.
This is so typical of them, ignoring your desperate pleas to just admit that they don’t really care about you. It frustrates you beyond belief, but at least now you’re sure. This little visit of theirs confirms they don’t have a loving bone in their body.
“Leave. I don’t want you contacting me ever again,” you sneered, motioning over to the door.
As quickly as they came, they left without sparing you another glance as they made their way out of your home.
Once they had gone, you felt everything in your body collapse, the stress of your fight with your parents finally catching up to you.
X.
౨ৎ before Y/n comes home with her parents
Jeonghan woke up that morning with a lingering feeling of exhaustion from last night. He stirred in his sleep, subconsciously reaching for your warmth to realize that you were already gone; your half of his bed was left cold, the sheets wrinkled with the memory of where you had slept.
There was a tight feeling in his chest knowing you didn’t stay in bed with him, but he kept reminding himself he had no right to yearn for you. He doesn’t have the right to ask you to stay, to cuddle with him, laugh with him. Jeonghan doesn’t feel as though he has the right to admire the crinkle in your eyes when you smile wide, or the way he can see the stars shining in your eyes when you talk mindlessly about your passions.
After everything, Jeonghan knows he doesn’t have the right to you. He knows all these things, and he knows enough to convince himself to not pursue you, but he’s a selfish being, and like the selfish being Jeonghan is, he only wants you.
Jeonghan spent the rest of his Saturday in peace, or at least that is what it would seem like from an outsider’s perspective. In reality, his every waking thought is about you, or what you are doing, or who you are with. It feels so foreign to him, thinking about a girl he’s barely slept with. The fact that he is concerned about you scares him, but he still can’t stop himself from wondering anyway.
Instead of facing his feelings head-on, he does what he does best—calling up Joshua and asking him to get high.
“It’s fine if you like her,” Joshua mumbles, trying to cure his munchies by snacking on turtle chips, “What did you expect? You spend so much time with her, she’s literally your roommate.”
The two of them sit on the couch, taking hits back and forth while watching South Park, their favourite show to binge while they get high. Except Jeonghan could barely pay attention when you are constantly tormenting his innermost thoughts. Not even a high that has saved him countless times could save him from you.
“Is it normal to think about someone this often? I feel like I’m going crazy,” Jeonghan sighs, taking another hit from Joshua’s dab pen.
“You’re not going crazy, you’re just falling in love.”
XI.
౨ৎ after the fight with y/n’s parents
The soft knock on your door brings you out of your thoughts, causing you to move from where you sit lifelessly, tears staining your cheeks. Your limbs feel heavy like your muscles were a pile of bricks. The few steps from the door feel like it’s taking hours, the weight of the door knob causing your wrist to ache.
By the time you open the door, the first thing your eyes meet is the worrying look on Jeonghan’s face. His eyebrows knotted, lips turned down in a frown. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around you and shield you from all the horrors of the world. That's what he tries to do at least, running up to you to hold you close.
What he expected was for you to welcome him with open arms, allowing him to give you the same warmth you give him. What really happened gave him a shock, one that quickly turned into hurt then into betrayal.
You begin to cry harder, sobs raking your body by the second, all the while Jeonghan tries to engulf you in a hug. What he assumed would bring you comfort only overwhelmed you even more. Your cries are inconsolable, your breathing uneven, causing you to hiccup as he tries to invade your space. Although you don’t mean it, your instincts take over you, pushing him away as hard as you can.
“Get the fuck away from me!” you scream through each hiccup, your arms in front of you as you try to get him as far away as possible.
Jeonghan feels hurt, the way you beg him not to touch you breaks something inside him, something that he isn’t sure he can fix alone. He wants to be there for you, but clearly, all you want is to be alone.
“I’m sorry Y/n,” is all he says as he backs away from you, closing your door with a reverberating slam.
…
It had been a week after the incident and you still haven’t mustered up the courage to talk to Jeonghan. Guilt brews in your stomach every time you think about what happened, the look on his face, the hesitation in his actions, it’s all burned into your memory. You aren’t sure why you had cried so hard, and what compelled you to react to his comfort in that way, but you can’t help but feel sorry. All Jeonghan wanted to do was help you, and you pushed him away.
You pick at the food on your plate as you're surrounded by the rowdiness of the dining hall, Soonyoung and Seokmin argue about something incoherable beside you. Tuning everything out, you can only think about Jeonghan, what he could possibly be doing right now, and if he’s thinking about you just like how you’re thinking of him.
“Y/n, is everything okay?” your highly observant friend asks, his eyes practically piercing into your soul.
Soonyoung and Seokmin go silent as they look at you and then back at Seungkwan, worried as to why you’re looking so glum. Seokmin who is sitting beside you, puts his arm around your shoulder, trying to comfort you, even though he isn’t sure why you’re so upset.
“Huh? Yeah just thinking about that fight I had with my parents,” you frown, playing with the sad-looking mashed potatoes on your plate. Your fork makes patterns mindlessly as you keep recalling the look on their faces when you finally explode.
“I’m sorry that happened Y/n, I’m sure they’ll come around eventually,” Seokmin whispers to you, patting your head.
Glancing up at your friend, you return his smile half-heartedly. You weren’t sure how to tell them that you practically got disowned. The thought of it makes you feel like you’re about to throw up, but the thought of Jeonghan makes you feel even more sick.
“I’m more worried about the fact that Jeonghan and I haven’t spoken since that night,” you sigh. “I pushed him away while he was trying to comfort me, and I’m sure he heard my parents call him all those nasty things, and I haven’t talked to him since then.”
The three stooges look at each other, like they’re speaking telepathically before looking back at you with a pitiful expression. They all knew how involved you got with your roommate, but they weren’t aware of how deep you had gotten with him. Of course, they are worried, but they also understand that you’re old enough to make your own decisions.
“I know we warned you about him darling, but I’m sure if you talk to him, you’ll be able to clear things up properly,” Seungkwan squeezes your hand reassuringly.
You give him a grateful look, thanking the universe once again for gifting you such good friends.
“Fuck your parents actually, we’ll be your new family Y/nie,” Soonyoung gives you a deathly serious look, his goofiness causing a laugh to erupt from your lips. “Let us know what happens with Jeonghan when the time comes.”
There’s a reason why your parents came to visit that night, and maybe this is the universe telling you that you needed to sever your connection with them so that you can finally be free. Allowing you to find a new family actually worth caring about.
XII.
The sound of your broken voice, the way you pushed him away, replays in Jeonghan’s head constantly. He tried everything to erase it from his memory. The non-stop partying, drinking, getting high with Joshua– nothing worked. Even before bed, when he starts to feel sleep take over him, his eyes shoot open again with the image of you screaming at him, crying deliriously.
Then he remembers your warm smile, your laugh and the way it would delightfully ring through his ears. All the good memories he’s kept in his mind, all replaced with you. He continues to ask himself, how did this all come to be? After all the bickering, how did he end up falling for you? Was it the intimacy you two shared? Or did Jeonghan’s subconscious just know that you were meant to bring him down to earth, to be the one who pulls his head out of the clouds.
For a long time, Jeonghan had known he was floating, soulless, just a shell of a human before you came along. No one has ever brought such an array of emotions out of him before. Constantly going through the motions of life, fucking a different girl every day, getting high to numb a pain he couldn’t pinpoint.
He thought he knew himself enough, he thought that not having his mom around didn’t affect him. But it did, and the moment he told you about her absence, he started to realize that it affected him more than he’d like to admit.
It was the look in your eyes, the comfort that was behind them, the lack of pity but more of a sense of empathy. He just felt comfortable, he felt like he could tell you anything and you wouldn’t judge him, or make him feel like he’s some charity case, you were just you.
Flashback to y/n and jeonghan bonding…
The ramen shop was practically done, with just a few more pieces left to spare before you two have completed the whole thing. Jeonghan sat beside you, both of your backs against the base of the couch, legs crisscrossed.
It was the day after you two shared your first kiss, yet you couldn’t help but still act shy around him. Even though it was only a few hours after he had given you oral on the kitchen counter. There was minimal conversation between the two of you, just slowly putting pieces of Lego together. The silence was comfortable, and it surprised you how serene you felt just being around him. It was still a little hard to believe because just a few days ago you couldn’t stand being around one another.
It wasn’t until Jeonghan decided to break that silence, making you believe he felt just as calm around you as you were with him.
“You know how I told you yesterday, that it was only me and my dad?” he speaks up. “Well, my mom would visit me from time to time, hoping my dad had money to spare whenever she went broke.”
You don't dare say a word, just listening to what he has to say, letting him finally pour his feelings into someone who actually cares about what he has to say.
“I would hold so much anger towards her. For not being there, for not caring about me or my dad unless money was involved,” he continued. “She would get what she wanted and leave the next day. No thank you, no calls, nothing. As a kid, I didn’t understand why she couldn’t just stay, or why she couldn’t just tell me once that she loved me. I still hold resentment towards her to this day.”
He looked so sorrowful, and your heart aches for him, especially because you could relate to not hearing the words “I love you”, longing for that person to just tell you, even if it was only once. The constant begging, wishing upon a star that you would hear words of affection from someone who didn’t care, you knew it all too well.
Instead of saying anything, you pull Jeonghan into a hug, tight to the point he could feel his lungs constrict. It wasn’t even from lack of air, only utter and complete surprise, as well as the shock of feeling sparks flowing throughout his body as you held him close. He didn’t say anything after that, just allowing himself to be held by you, allowing himself to feel an ounce of affection that he was never able to receive from his mother. It was to the point that tears almost spilled from his eyes, but he did his best to keep them at bay, his pride always preceding him in everything.
It was that day that Jeonghan knew he couldn’t possibly let someone like you go so easily, and that if he really let himself, he could fall for you, hard.
XIII.
The sound of the TV echoing throughout your apartment shocks you as you enter. You didn’t expect Jeonghan to be home so early, it makes you nervous. The same guilty feeling you felt earlier swirls in your stomach; your process of removing your winter coat is slow as you try to buy yourself time, preparing for what type of explanation you’re going to give him.
You take a whole five minutes to get yourself settled before heading over to the living room, Jeonghan’s face glowing due to the light of the screen, his expression sombre. Probably because he knows you’re home, but is also unsure of whether or not to call out for you.
The tension is thick, and it makes your saliva hard to swallow, but you want to talk to him. After everything that happened, you just miss his presence, his scent, his teasing, everything.
“Oh, look who decided to finally show up,” he glances at you, his eyes taking in your frame.
You scoff, offended by how hostile he’s acting. Although you can’t blame him for not welcoming you with open arms, you didn’t expect him to act like this.
“I could say the same thing for you,” you spit, your face burning with a growing anger.
Jeonghan lets out a bitter laugh, and it makes you grimace, you can’t believe his reaction, he’s acting the same way he did when he first met you. His anger always besting him, even when he knows nothing good will come from it.
“Just didn’t want to overstep, you were pissed off at me the last time I saw you,” he scoffs, pausing the show he was watching on the TV.
He stares at you, waiting for your next move. The look on his face is comparable to when you first met him, when you two first fought. It wasn’t the Jeonghan you had grown used to.
“I didn’t mean to push you away, and I’m sorry, I was in a really bad state and I wasn’t thinking right,” you exasperate. Your hands flailing all over the place trying to explain your actions from that night.
Jeonghan doesn’t move a muscle, he’s obviously hurt by what you did. But you are even more hurt, having to finally face your parents and watch them admit to caring about you. Them always avoiding your pleas of just admitting they didn’t really love you, spoke louder than any words they could’ve ever said. If there was one person in the world who could understand that pain, it should be Jeonghan.But here he is, his own hurt and rejection turning into the anger that he’s directing at you.
“We could’ve talked after you had calmed down, I thought you knew I would be there for you, but you ignored me,” he raises his voice, standing up from the couch to meet eye-to-eye with you.
As he stalks over, your voice becomes caught in your throat. He towers over you, the blazing frustration prominent in his eyes, and yet you know him well enough to know that it’s all a front for his hurt.
“I don’t know why I didn’t and I’m sorry, how many times do I have to tell you?” You articulated. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me after what happened, after what my parents called you! I’m ashamed at the fact they misjudged you like that.”
“I don’t care about what your parents think of me, I don’t care what anyone thinks of me, I only care what you have to say.”
“W-what?” you stutter, not sure what point Jeonghan is trying to make.
He sighs, running his hands through his long hair. It annoyed you how good-looking he is, even when you two are in the middle of screaming at each other. Your resolve slowly starts to chip away the longer you look at him.
“You really think those hookups meant nothing to me? I confided in you about something I’ve never told anyone, not even Josh,” he admits, his breathing picking up as he stares at you, searching your eyes for any indication that you felt the same.
His words resound through the apartment, and you feel it send a shock down your spine. You thought everything you felt for him was one-sided, that you would eventually get hurt by the fact that he could never reciprocate your feelings. The once playboy who you thought didn’t surrender to any woman, let alone someone who you thought he hated not too long ago, is surrendering his feelings to you.
“You care about me?” is the first question you ask.
“Of course, I care about you Y/n. I can’t sleep or eat properly because you’re tormenting every crevice of my brain. I thought I was going crazy because no one has ever had this effect on me,” he confesses, his eyes still trained on yours. “Every waking moment, when I’m asleep, you’re all I can think about. A-and it’s so frustrating, it’s frustrating how I just want to be around you all the time, I just want to care for you.”
You don’t even know what to say, your mouth goes dry. Jeonghan can see that you’re struggling to find the words, and he takes it as a sign that you don’t feel the same way. His body slowly moves away from yours, trying to remove himself from the scene, not wanting to wait to hear your rejection.
“I like you too,” you finally reply.
Words so simple compared to Jeonghan’s confession, and yet the surge of emotion it brought out of him is of a higher magnitude even he cannot understand. The swell in his chest, his heart beating a hundred miles an hour after hearing you confess in such a simple way. All he cares about is that you feel the same.
Instead of saying more, you just pull him into a kiss, allowing his lips to dance against yours, and that’s enough for him. Your actions do all the talking for you.
“Say it again,” he mumbles, his lips close enough to yours that you could his breath fan your face.
“I like you, Jeonghan.”
He captures you again, moving against you till your back is pressed against the wall. Caged in his hold, his hands tighten on your waist, not wanting to let you slip away from him any longer. His tongue slipped past your mouth, licking you up with so much passion but still filled with care and tenderness.
You moan as his hands rub against your sides, feeling him everywhere, breathing in his scent. His hand moves to the back of your head, not wanting you to feel any discomfort from being flush with the wall. It’s the small things that he does, his calculated actions always making your heart swell. You know it’s probably a force of habit, but the fact that he doesn’t anyway reveals his caring nature, a piece of him you never thought existed till you started hooking up with him.
“I want you,” you break away from the kiss to tell him.
You search his eyes, examining how they’ve gotten heavy with lust, you know he felt the same. Jeonghan only nods, taking your hand to bring you to the room. You know what’s coming, and you initiated it. Even though you asked for it, the nervousness in your stomach still doesn’t subside.
The lights were dim, the sunset leaking past your curtains, making your skin glow angelically. Jeonghan stares at you with awe, your features highlighted by the gleam of the sun rays. He knows you’re beautiful, he admires you even when you don't notice it. But there is something about the way you look right now, the anticipation of this moment, as well as your nervous blush; it causes all his thoughts to come to a halt the moment his gaze lands on you.
“Please Jeonghan, fuck me,” you beg him, the arousal between your legs gets harder to ignore with each second that passes, “I’m ready.”
“Whatever you want, as long as you’re sure,” He gives you a serious look, just wanting some form of consent.
“Yes please,” you whine, reattaching your lips on his.
He doesn’t hesitate anymore, allowing himself to get drunk on your touch instead. Slowly moving over to the bed, you feel the back of your knees hit the mattress. You let yourself fall, Jeonghan laying on top of you, showing you no mercy as he places kisses tenderly along the base of your neck. Soft exhales leave your lips as he continues to shower you with affection, the now-familiar feeling of pleasure swirling in your stomach once again.
Jeonghan takes his time, he’s in no particular rush when it comes to you. All his past hookups were finished within an hour or so. With you it’s different, he could adorn your body with love till morning, and some more after that. He sucks and licks your neck till bruises form, then sits back to admire his work. The smirk on his face is filled with satisfaction, your needy gaze causing his hardening member to constrict against his jeans.
“I wanna make you feel good first,” He declared, giving you space to properly lay down on your bed, your clothed core facing him, legs spread.
He moves down, laying between your thighs, unbuttoning your jeans without a word. His teasing nature comes into play as he spends an excruciatingly long time taking off your clothes. The impatience that you’re feeling starts to grow, taking off your shirt and bra as he finishes removing the remaining clothes from your bottom half.
He chuckles at your enthusiasm, his face so close to your core that his nose nudges your clit slightly. The shocks of pleasure crawling up your spine and he’s barely laid a finger where you need him most.
“So needy, I adore that about you,” he mumbles.
He peppers soft kisses up your legs till he latches his lips on your pussy. Licking your folds all while he ignores your swelling bud. He could practically feel it pulsing every time he brushed past it slightly. Jeonghan loves the way you taste, so sweet and wet, your juices leaking past your entrance and onto your sheets. If he could, he would just stare at you from this position for hours. Watching you whine and writhe within his hold, begging for him to touch you.
“I need you to eat me out,” you keep begging, “make me cum please.”
“Such filthy words coming out of that pretty little mouth,” he tsks, but he gives in to your request anyway.
His tongue lays a flat strip against your mound, licking up what’s left of your dripping arousal. One hand gripping your thigh to keep you spread, while his free hand teased your entrance before fully plunging two fingers in. The feeling of his fingers filling up your hold causes you to let out a salacious moan, your back arching off the bed. You look like you came straight out of a porn movie and Jeonghan can’t take his eyes off your expression.
His long slender fingers hit you right where you need it, making you keen, the sound of your wetness squelching is like music to Jeonghan’s ears. Stars are starting to form behind your eyelids as his tongue suckles on your clit, getting you close to completion embarrassingly fast.
Your hands move down to grip Jeonghan’s hair, pulling at the strands as you try your best to focus on your orgasm, thoughts of him fucking you on your bed filling your thoughts. Imagining his length slide inside you triggers your release, the gush of your arousal filling his mouth. Jeonghan groans, your tight pussy gripping his fingers as he feels you cum.
“Mmh Hannie,” your words are barely discernable as you try to come down from your high.
He moves back up to place a kiss on your lips before getting rid of his clothes. You watch him with a fucked-out look. Eyes lidded, pupils blown, you’re practically salivating as you stare at Jeonghan’s slender but toned frame. He smirks when he notices you ogling, moving to hover over you, the feeling of his hard cock brushing past your leg.
Placing his lips back on yours, you two lay there for a minute, kissing and touching each other. Jeonghan just wants to savour you as if this moment is his last, even though that is not the case, he will continue to treat you this way till there’s a time when he can’t do so anymore.
“Please, fuck me, please I need it,” you blabber against his lips, not wanting to wait another second.
“Do you have a condom?” He pulls away to ask you.
“I want it raw. I’m clean, promise,” you tell him in between kisses.
The moment you mentioned fucking raw, it’s like Jeonghan’s brain went haywire, thoughts of feeling you completely plague his brain. The thought of getting to feel you without the thin plastic in the way, he would die happily with a smile on his face.
“Fuck are you sure? I’m clean too, but are you really sure baby?” He continues to ask you, not wanting this to be a rash decision you would regret after.
“I’m on the pill, it’s ok, trust me,” you assure him, the neediness in your voice becoming stronger.
Jeonghan’s member twitches against you, making you aware of the fact that he likes the idea of it all. He mumbles incoherent swears against your lips as he tries to collect himself, not wanting to blow a load prematurely. He may be experienced but the thought of fucking you raw could get him to cum untouched.
He doesn’t miss a beat, moving to sit back on his heels, lining up his dick with your entrance, the tip red and leaking with precum. He rubs it against your folds to coat himself in your slick before collecting his spit, the saliva dropping onto his shaft and adding to the lubrication. Moans leave your lips as you feel his prod at you with his length, the pleasure going off in waves. Looking down, he watches his member gliding against your pussy lips, and you just watch him enjoy himself. It's agonizing, being this close and still not feeling him enter.
“I’m going crazy, please, just put it in,” you whine, laying with your elbows supporting you, watching Jeonghan tease you relentlessly.
“You better watch your mouth before I make you suck me off instead,” he warns you, his domineering side coming out again.
You shut up quickly, trying to calm yourself before you combust with impatience. Something about Jeonghan makes you so needy for him, the eagerness to feel him finally fuck you after not having any penetrative sex starting to pile up on you. You’re a virgin but for Jeonghan it was like another version of you unleashes itself when he’s pleasuring you. Constantly craving his touch, wanting to feel his mouth on you, he’s just so addictive.
Jeonghan finally pushes himself past your entrance, letting his cock fill you completely. Tears start to sting your eyes from the stretch, you knew it was going to hurt, but nothing could’ve prepared you for this feeling. He doesn’t stop though, slowly thrusting in and out till you get used to the feeling.
The discomfort leaves shortly after, letting pleasure rush through your veins, and you whine out for him, your head thrown back against your pillow. His length continues to hit that sensitive part against your walls, making you clench around him.
“F-fuck you’re so tight,” He groans, removing himself from your sopping core till only his tip remains.
Jeonghan takes the back of your thighs, pushing them against your chest before thrusting into you again. The angle is deeper this time and you almost let out a scream as he grinds his hips against yours.
“Jeonghan, feels so good,” you call out deliriously, your brain hazed with pleasure.
He leans in so the two of you are chest to chest, peppering your face with kisses as he continues you fuck you. The feeling of your tight walls constricting against his dick is making him twitch inside you. He’s never had raw sex with anyone before, but now that he knows what it feels like, he won’t ever go back, but only for you. You’re the only one he wants to see filled with his cum. The only one who he gets to plant his seed in and watch it drip out after.
“Shit,” Jeonghan swears, feeling your grip on him.
Your pussy starts to convulse with every thrust, and he knows you’re about to cum. Taking things up a notch, he begins to pound himself into you, and the sound of skin slapping echoes throughout your room. His hand snakes down to your clit to rub it in circles, making your vision go white.
He leans back again, holding your legs open and in the air, hypnotizing himself with the sight of his member disappearing inside you. The feeling of his orgasm coming closer as you continue squeezing him tight.
“Gonna cum,” you moan, your chest pounding, pussy sore from the beating it’s taking.
Jeonghan knows he’s close too, and once he senses your orgasm on his cock he cums shortly after, groaning as he fills you to the brim. The feeling of his cum spilling in you satisfies you in a way you didn’t think was possible, and you know you’re going to be asking him to do so every time.
“You make me crazy, that’s the best orgasm I’ve had,” he admits.
Jeonghan’s breathing is laboured, letting go of your legs as he lays himself against your chest. You brush through his hair while giggling at his sudden confession, it makes you blush, especially knowing his history. You could still feel him inside you, and for some reason you liked it, just having him lay there with his length engulfed in your walls.
“Who would’ve thought we would’ve ended up like this,” you mumble, still running your fingers through his strands, his face smothered in your breasts, kissing them tenderly.
“You put a spell on me or something,” his voice muffled into your chest, “I’m obsessed with you now, so you can’t get rid of me.”
You laugh at his declaration, kissing the top of his head. The fact that he’s clingy with you after sex is surprising, but endearing at the same time.
“Do you want to finish building our ramen shop?” Jeonghan asks, lifting his face from where he’s lying on you.
You give him an inquisitive look, wondering why that’s the first thing he asks you after he just defiled you and took your virginity. But you don’t mind it either, you had almost forgotten about the scattered pieces that sat on top of the coffee table, waiting to be completed.
“We can if you want, but maybe we should clean up first,” you giggle.
The sound of your laughter rings through Jeonghan’s ears, making his chest swell with happiness. He never thought that the sound of your voice would bring him so much joy. The initial dread when he heard your voice turned into something more. It may be too early to tell you he loves you, but he knows he’s getting there, and this time he isn’t scared. This time Jeonghan doesn’t mind the fuzzy feeling in his chest when he sees you, or the fact that sparks fly when you touch him.
He had once thought that he was going mad because of the emotions you evoked out of him, but now he understands. He understands that he’s meant to fall for you; the angel who came down to earth to teach him that there's more to life than just going through the motions.
Epilogue.
“Seugkwan,” your boyfriend grimaces as he sees your best friend approach your table in the dining hall.
“Jeonghan.”
Seungkwan gives Jeonghan a good look up and down, his analytical eyes scanning him as if he can see through your boyfriend's soul. He glowers at the way Jeonghan’s hand holds your thigh possesively, hating how easily it was for him to slither his way into your mind and dicknotize you.
That’s what Seungkwan likes to call it, scolding you about how Jeonghan hypnotized you with his dick. You found it silly how he could come up with such a word, but for some reason, it’s now a coined term within your friend group.
“Kwan, are you going to just stare at him all day or are you going to sit down?” You sigh, wondering why the two of them just don’t seem to get along.
Seungkwan huffs, his stubborn personality not allowing him to sit down till he’s won, he’s not sure what he’s supposed to win, but his watchful gaze on Jeonghan keeps him standing.
“That depends, will Jeonghan disappear if I decide to take a seat?” He rebutted, his chin held up high.
You laugh at how dramatic he is, but you know that Seungkwan acknowledges how much Jeonghan has changed. Even after knowing him for so many years, he’s seen how much nicer Jeonghan has been to him and the two dummies named Soonyoung and Seokmin.
“No, he won’t, unfortunately,” you sigh, “but I want you here, so sit.”
“Yeah, Seungkwan sit,” Jeonghan smirks, until he realizes what you had just said, “Wait what? Unfortunately? Baby, why would you say that?”
Seungkwan laughs at Jeonghan’s butt-hurt face, finally taking a seat across from the two of you. He watches as Jeonghan pesters you on what you meant by “unfortunately”. Whining about how you said that you would stop teasing him in front of your friends.
Even though Seungkwan likes to pretend that he doesn’t like Jeonghan, he’s really started to see Jeonghan's true personality when he’s not acting like a complete asshole. And as long as he’s treating you right, he doesn’t actually care if you two are dating. If you're happy, Seungkwan’s happy.
“Okay! Stop acting like a kid, I was just joking,” you groan, covering Jeonghan’s mouth with your palm. “Anyways, now that he’s silenced, how was your weekend?”
Before Seungkwan could answer your question, Jeonghan’s tongue shoots out to lick your palm. A shriek to erupts from your lips, pulling your hand away from his mouth. You turn to him with a horrified look on your face, only to see him smirking back at you.
“Gross! Don’t do that again!” you smack the back of his head lightly.
“Ow! I’ve done worse to you, why are you mad!” Jeonghan argued, rubbing the spot on his head where you hit him.
“Jeonghan, enough! We’re in public,” you whisper at him, curious eyes around the dining hall peering at the two of you.
Seungkwan only laughs, watching you scold him like he’s a dog who ate food off the dinner table.
You sigh at him as you fake your anger, the amused glint in your eyes reflecting in the light as you watch Jeonghan pout. It’s funny to see him this way, playful and clingy. You didn’t expect that side of him to come out in public, but you’re glad that he feels comfortable enough to act childlike around you and your friends.
Being able to witness this side of him brings you a lot of happiness, even though you two are constantly bickering, it’s all for laughs this time. When you two first met, the fighting was real and unforgiving, you thought you hated Jeonghan. But the universe had different plans in mind, and even though it was unexpected, you wouldn’t have it any other way.
end.
© wonustars
𖦹 a/n: that's all! thank you for reading and i hoped you liked it :3!! don't be afraid to send me an ask or comment, and reblog. i appceiate your support 💞
𖦹 fic taglist: @writingbarnes @yuyunhoo @blurr3db3rry @noiceoofed @aaniag @yogurttea @arcofagamotto @lovrchl @woozixo @unusuallyshy @if-i-like-i-reblog @angelfeverdream @leahhhher @hanniebwii @whowantshota @zezedoesshit @dawgyeom @yoonzinoooo (also tagging my lovely star @lololololchips just cuz :p)
(for those who signed up for the taglist, and i couldn't tag, i've removed them sorry. perm tag list will be in the reblog!)
#jeonghan#yoon jeonghan#seventeen smut#svthub#jeonghan smut#jeonghan x reader#jeonghan fic#seventeen x reader#svt fic#seventeen fic#jeonghan fanfic#seventeen fanfic#wonustars ✧ ゚. {works}
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lilaaah sweetheart ! 'm so sorry dat ppl r bein so yucky to u , im curbstomping all of them into da sidewalk hmph >:( hv u thought abt turning off anon :O ? it might be worthwhile for a littl while , at least until these icky ppl go away . . i luvs u so much bbie , im always here if u ever need mi <3<3 !
my pwetty guard pup ! ! 's okay, it's not all on tumblr (i got a msg from someone 've spoken once outta nowhere that just said "fvck you cvnt" nd dat's y i'm upset rn) — tbh mi anon has been off fr a while, i only jus turned it back on <33 nd thank u bbie, ily ! !
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This is a little out of nowhere but do you happen to have any funny persona fics you would recommend? Just asking because I've been feeling a little down lately (nothing bad don't worry) and could use a chuckle and we seem to have quite a similar sense of humour.
Anon I really tried to find a good list of funny/light hearted fics for you but I only got two 😔. I'm gonna be honest I haven't read a lot of good fics lately, at least in terms of persona. My main comfort tag guess who has kind of gone to shit (by which I mean there's nothing I personally want to read) so I'm reading more RE8 fics now by which I mean the Dimitrescu family being soft. If I think of anymore I'll add to this post but here are the two I have for now!
So here's the first one written by Rui a good mutual of mine. It's a persona 5 royal chatfic that is packed full of light hearted banter and some great jokes. Lots of good character interactions and there's ships too which aren't the main focus but they're there if you want them. It's honestly one of my comfort fics and is the only two P5R fics I read regularly (the other one isn't light hearted so no point recommending). And while you're at it check out the rest of her work too it's awesome.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/21791233/chapters/51997897
And here's the second one! This one is very self indulgent and light hearted but it's a fun little yukamitsu one (I couldn't resist but it's me ofc you're gonna get a yukamitsu rec 😭) where Mitsuru teaches Yukari how to swim and Yukari is being a gay mess, featuring Junpei the ever helpful not side kick.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/4052671
I hope you enjoy them! I am very sorry I really tried to find more but alas my fic recs have been very dry recently 😔
#asks#anonymous#i hope these do cheer you up anon <3#if i find anymore i will add them#i spend 90% of my time in the m*tsuru and y*kamitsu tags so like my recs are very limited 💀#and rui wasn't sure if you wanted to be tag but ily and your work#i can't help recommending it its so good#but yeah! sorry to disappoint anon but fics have been a bit of a sore subject for me lately 😔#I can't go into the mitsur* tag anymore without seeing something that makes me super uncomfortable :/#if you want sappy family re eight focs i am more than happy to oblige#but again you asked for persona so#honestly while we're on the subject if anyone wants to rec ME fics please do im absolutely starved 😭#apologizes if the links don't work but tumblr is a bitch so I wouldn't be surprised 😔
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Chapter 13
of the wwx emperor au that’s now more like the terrible horrible time the Lan Sect is having ugh
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 Part 1 | Chapter 8 Part 2 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12
WangJi has to admit that Jiang YanLi is pleasant company.
She displays none of the flirtatious behavior WangJi had found so alarming when forced to spend time with female disciples in the past. She also asks no questions that require elaborate explanations. In fact, most of her conversation is focused solely on the task at hand, and highly informative in nature.
WangJi had not known that the Peach Blossom Pavilion stands in the exact place the Immortal Empress had chosen to settle on the Immortal Mountain, or that the cypress growing in the corner of the courtyard was planted by YanLing DaoRen. Many of the palaces have been renamed since YanLing DaoRen’s reign, and Jiang YanLi does not hesitate to explain why, despite the uncomfortable subject matter. She takes him through three of the largest Imperial Libraries, explains how the construction of the new watchtowers was managed, and leads him across the Imperial Gardens, happily narrating the history of each ruler’s contribution to the beauty and symmetry of the layout.
Nearly two hours pass in this manner, and WangJi would be hard pressed to say when was the last time he had spent two hours in a more relaxed environment.
“This is the Six Fans Pavilion,” Jiang YanLi says, gesturing to the shuttered building to their left, “When the Emperor Consort, Wei ChangZe, first arrived at the Immortal Mountain with the Jiang Sect, this is where the Jiang Sect was placed to stay. During the Empress’ lifetime, it was the place where Wei Ying--“ she smiles and ducks her head, “I mean, the current Emperor, preferred to reside. After the Empress and the Emperor Consort passed away, the pavilion was closed.”
Jiang YanLi is narrating the story kindly, leaving out the fact that the Empress and the Emperor Consort were assassinated, and that the person who carries the blood of their murderer is strolling by her side. WangJi is certain that he does not deserve this kindness, nor does he know how to receive it.
Jiang YanLi, however, does not linger on the subject.
“This is the entrance to the South Lakes courtyard. The South Lakes Pavilion houses the Head Healer to the Emperor, and her grandchildren. I hope you do not mind a slight change in plans, Second Young Master. The Head Healer’s granddaughter was quite insistent that I should stop in for tea.”
If WangJi did mind, he would never say so out loud. He nods, and Jiang YanLi instructs their escort to wait outside.
The courtyard is pleasantly shaded with plum trees, and carries a faint scent of saffron. They had not gone two steps before WangJi hears a child laugh. A familiar voice stops him in his tracks.
At the far end of the courtyard, surrounded by potted plants and piles of dirt, the Divine Ruler of Shan Dynasty is sitting on the ground. A child is sitting next to him. They both have their hands in a small pot, and seem to be pressing down dirt around a tiny green shoot.
Wei WuXian is laughing.
His hair is only half tied, majority of it loose around his shoulders, sweaty strands stuck to his cheek. He appears to be wearing only a black set of inner robes, and his feet are bare, toes covered in soil.
WangJi feels as if all the air has gone from his lungs.
Wei WuXian looks up, still grinning. Any fleeting suspicion WangJi might have had, that this meeting may have been prearranged, would have been swept away by the expression on Wei WuXian’s face. His shock is so great that he does not move for long seconds, eyes wide and unblinking, resembling a startled deer frozen in place.
Then he is scrambling to his feet, jerky and uncoordinated, nearly propelling himself back into the already planted set of pots. Every inch of him is an assault on WangJi’s senses. A smear of dirt under his chin. A flash of white ankle under the black robe. A single layer of cloth tightly belted around his waist, waist that now looks indecently small in comparison to the width of his shoulders.
WangJi knows that he is breathing, but the air available to him is painfully insufficient, making his chest ache.
The smile, initially chased away by shock, returns to Wei WuXian’s face, but it no longer holds the earlier careless joy. Instead, there is something almost self-conscious about the shape of his mouth, the way he shakes out his sleeves and brushes at his robe, removing none of the dirt in the process. He steps forward, as if to approach them, then pauses to scoop up the child at his feet. The child settles on his hip easily, as if he belongs there, small chubby fingers immediately tangling in the dark hair.
The Emperor has crossed half of the courtyard by the time Lan WangJi’s mind manages to regain some of its function. Majority of his thought processes are still unable to move away from the robe shifting around bare ankles, or that streak of mud across the pale neck. But the functioning part succeeds in raising an alarm; the Emperor is approaching. WangJi is still standing in the same place, and has not yet offered a greeting.
Jiang YanLi, whose presence he had completely forgotten about, stops him before he can kneel.
“Please,” she says softly, “do not kneel here. It will only make him unhappy. The South Lakes are a place where he prefers to just be Wei Ying.”
Before WangJi can reason out an acceptable alternative to kneeling, Wei WuXian is in front of him, cheeks flushed with color.
“Lan Zhan,” he says, “shijie, what--“
WangJi hears Jiang YanLi explain about the tour, and the tea, and probably other things he is not capable of comprehending at the moment.
When turned into the sunlight, Wei WuXian’s eyes are liquid amber, dark honey collected from the late autumn flowers. There is a tiny leaf stuck in his hair. There is dirt under his fingernails. He shifts the child on his hip, a move that looks practiced and natural. WangJi does not understand the agony in his chest; it feels as if all of his ribs are broken.
The child is studying him. WangJi does not have much experience with children, but this one is quiet and watchful, despite his young age. He seems to be measuring WangJi, but it is not clear if he approves.
“Ah,” Wei WuXian says, “Lan Zhan, this is Wen Yuan.”
“It is nice to meet you, Wen Yuan,” WangJi says.
He is sure that he must sound stiff and formal, but he does not know how to speak to children.
However, it is good to focus on something that is not Wei WuXian. It is necessary.
“Ah,” Wei WuXian says again, “I should get him-- washed up. It will only take a moment. Lan Zhan, will you stay and have tea with us?”
He is leaning slightly away from the weight on his hip, tilting his head up, his smile sweet but cautious. The damp ends of his hair are curling slightly, the breeze pushing the shorter strands across his cheek. The child yawns, and tucks his forehead against the curve of Wei WuXian’s neck.
WangJi wonders if it is possible to die from this pain.
He manages to nod.
Wei WuXian has almost crossed the entire courtyard again before WangJi can remember the mechanics necessary for walking.
He has barely made two steps himself, when a shout from the gate forces him to turn back.
Nie ZongHui and the four men they had left outside are spilling into courtyard, their weapons drawn.
“Your Majesty,” Nie ZongHui says, “Lady Jiang. I must ask you to return to the Jade Sword Palace immediately. There has been an incident.”
#the untamed#cql#mdzs#wangxian#ficlet#m#wwx emperor au#chapter 18 is giving me a hard time#so there might not be a chapter happening tomorrow#tbh it's probably just me#bc it's getting too hot to sleep comfortably so i'm cranky and nothing i write makes me happy#anyway#if i do drop the next chapter tomorrow it'll be nielan#ily guys for all your messages and tags and asks#these are only showing in the tag once in a blue moon too so#sorry if you can't find it idk#tumblr sucks as always
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