#I’ve talked about it a lot on this blog though so if you search you can find more of what I’ve written about it

[pynkhues]

I recently started my iwtv rewatch and in episode 5 s1 louis says “i ignored all the other duties of the role claudia once mocked me for- the unhappy housewife” Do you think louis is saying that he was a housewife? was he the one in charge of keeping rue royal tidy? why did the house get cluttered after louis became depressed?

[minniesmutt]

☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐧𝐢𝐚𝐜 𝐨𝐫 𝐯𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞

☾ ━━━ PAIRING: HAN X READER ☾ ━━━ CONTENT: VAMPIRE!HAN, HUMAN!READER, SOMNOPHILIA, CONSENT JEWELRY, IMPLIED FREE USE, UNPROTECTED SEX, NO PREP, SMUT W/ LITTLE PLOT, ☾ ━━━ WC: 1k ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog

     Jisung loved his girlfriend with all his undead heart. He just didn’t like their sleep schedules. His was pretty unavoidable. Yeah, he could walk in the sun, but night was when he was most active. And it’s not like he needed sleep to get his energy back like humans. That’s what blood was for. 

     So while he was up all night doing whatever, his pretty girlfriend was fast asleep. It had started taking a toll on their sex life. He didn’t want to complain much to her. He was centuries old, and he knew humans couldn’t go for hours nor did they often have the drive supernatural beings did. He only said something when she brought it up.

     “Do you know the last time we had sex?” Y/n asked randomly

     “Fifty-four days ago. I don’t know the hour and minutes to but—”

     “Were you counting the days?”

     “Yes…?”

     “And you didn’t bring it up to me at all?”

     “I wanted to after the first week but I didn't want you to think I was that needy.”

     Y/n sighed and walked over to her boyfriend, cupping his cheeks, “Ji, sweetie. I’ve told you my sex drive is high. You can always talk to me if you need me. I didn’t realize how long it had been.”

     “Everytime I want to though your… it’s going to sound dumb.”

     “No it won’t. What is it?” Y/n asked 

     “Everytime i’m in the mood you're always asleep and I don’t want to wake you because I know you need sleep.”

     “Then,” Y/n tried coming up with a solution. She knew it was hard with their occult difference.

     “See. There’s not really —“

     “Just fuck me when im asleep.”

     “Huh?!”

     He couldn’t deny he had thought about it a few times. Just pull back the covers and slip into her. Something about how pretty she looked when she was peacefully sleeping did something to his brain. 

     “Fuck me when—“

     “I heard you the first time, baby. But, are you sure? I don’t want to take advantage of you like that. Because if I fuck you, I’m going to want to bite you.”

     “You always want to bite me.”

     “I always want to fuck you.”

     “You can fuck me whenever you want.”

     “What if you’re not in the mood?”

     “What if we have a code word or something? Something for me to tell you, ‘I’m not in the mood today’ or ‘I’m in the mood today’? Would that help you?”

     “Yes. A lot,”

     The couple sat on the bed and brainstormed some ideas. Searching the internet a bit for ideas as well. Finally the settled on a piece of his jewelry. A necklace, easy floor him to spot since the camper may not always pay attention when he was focused on something and her neck was something his eyes always focused on. 

     He found an old necklace of his he had completely forgotten about. Nice enough that it could go with anything she wore. Y/n took the necklace from him and pecked his lips. She didn’t put the necklace on yet. She waited till she was getting ready for bed. She finished her skin care and clasped the necklace around her neck, making sure it was visible over her sleep shirt. 

     Jisung had zero clue. Forgetting a little about it and focusing on a track he was working on. He got pulled out when she kissed his cheek, “I’m going to bed,” Y/n told him, smiling a bit 

     “Have a good night,” Jisung said as he turned and pecked her lips. He saw the necklace but didn’t think much, again already having forgotten about the conversation a bit. It wasn’t until a few hours later he suddenly remembered. He froze at his computer, Eyes darting to the clock in the corner. Two twenty-nine in the morning. He didn’t know when she said goodnight to him so he didn’t know if she was asleep or not. His eyes needed a break anyways so he got up and walked down the hall to their bedroom. 

     “Baby,” he called a couple of times, no responses. He walked in, double checked and was wearing the necklace, and checked her  pulse. Both her pulse and her breathing were even and slow. She was asleep. 

     His cock sprung up at the thought of acting on things he’d thought about for so long. He walked over and pulled back the covers. He didn’t catch much of what she was wearing to bed at the time but boy was he happy to find his girlfriend in just one of her large t-shirts and nothing else. Making it easy for him. 

     “Fucking hell baby,” Jisung groaned then turned her onto her back. 

     The vampire put her thighs over his easily. He pulled down his shorts and boxers enough to get his dick out. He could see her folds glistening. He really wondered how long she was waiting in anticipation for him. 

     He pressed his tip into her slowly. Watching her to make sure she didn't wake up. Slowly pushing in further when she didn’t wake. He let himself get used to it. Feeling like he could cum from just the thrill of the action alone. He gave himself a minute then pulled back and thrusted into her. 

     His pace started slow. Careful to not wake her up but his pace picked when he realized she was sound asleep. Grabbing her thighs and pushing them up towards her chest. He pushed deeper into her, cock twitching inside her. 

     He tried keeping his voice down. Trying to swallow his groans as best he could. Gripping her thighs tightly as he frantically thrusted in and out of her. The thrill of what he was doing catching up to him and coming out inside her. Filling up her womb and burying himself into her. Grunting as he rode out his high. 

     Jisung took a moment to regain his clarity and pulled out. Amazed she managed to sleep through it. He grabbed a warm washcloth from their bathroom and cleaned her up. Kissing her neck before sinking his fangs into her. Drinking her neck, hands holding hips. 

     He pulled his fangs out of her neck and laid down beside her. Pulling the blanket over them and holding her close. Whispering an ‘I love you’ into the back of her head

☾ ━━━━━━ KINKTOBER M. LIST     M.LIST    TIP JAR

☾ ━━━ please support writers by reblogging and/or leaving feedback

☾ ━━━ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: @bowsnbang @tearfulspark78 @purplesprinkles19 @hanyorustar @tinyelfperson 

@yeetmehome @boldy-49 @seungminsbest @galaxycatdrawz @paborachaslvt

@skzfelixlove @igetcarriedawaywithyou @ihrtlix @kkamismom12 @leenaur 

@annoyingwastelandshark @tajannah-price1 @sillygoosegoose @charlieg1rl @kibs-and-bits 

@lxlsposts @seunmong-in @korthbum @linocvp1d @lesbirino

@emilyhadenbaker @linosoju @moonlightcandy00 @bangtanksea22  @rei-reia 

@possum-playground @doitforbangchan @dreamgardenficrecs @bookswillfindyouaway @mallielovssyou 

@minniesuperversee @seungfl0wer @straykidslover2024 @virluna148 @hyunlixie143 

@rebecca-johnson-28 @spookzyclown @thecutiepieme @kittycatkrissa @whyisaah

@hyvneluv @sunaslut69 @sylveonitesworld @chansbabygirlsstuff @bottlebugg 

[alphajocklover]

just wanted to say that Uncle story you made was really good... Any chance for a part 2?

Hey everyone. I wanted to thank you all for your kind words concerning my Uncle John. After I shared what had happened to him and how I got into TF reporting, I got a lot of supportive messages (along with the regular ones that seem to think this is some sort of… kink blog? What even is that?). Because of how kind you’ve been, I thought I should update you on how everything is going. I’m sorry to say there isn’t much to update you on though. I have a good idea as to who transformed my uncle, which I’ll probably expand upon in another post (I keep saying that, I know, but I will), but what I don’t know is where he is. I haven’t got a clue where he is at the moment, but luckily I’m not the only one searching for him.

The Douchebag Revolution has been keeping an eye out for him for one. Since I help them out sometimes they’ve been helping me. They can be surprisingly nice at times, and they’re pretty sympathetic to people who have been transformed against their will, since they all were at some point. They also seem to have somehow gotten the idea that Uncle John was straight before he got transformed, but since that seems to motivate them more I haven’t corrected them.

I have members of other groups I’ve mentioned helping me too. I won’t name names, since they could get fired (or transformed), but I do have some connections at EB Jewelry, despite the company's anti-journalist policy. They’re the reason I was actually able to get some information on the company in the first place, and they’ve been using some of their connections within the company to help look for my Uncle. They haven’t found much yet, though it's because of them I can safely say that EB Jewelry isn’t involved in what happened.

Then of course there are the other TF Reporters who help, a few personal friends of my Uncle, and… Nick. My Uncles literally devilish friend, Nick. Honestly, he’s been looking harder than anyone, and I think I know why. I’ve always referred to Nick as my Uncle’s devil friend, and that's how he introduced himself to me, but… from what I’ve noticed, they were actually closer than that. It was the little things that gave it away. The look in Nick's eyes when he talks about my uncle, both fond and painful, the way he seems more desperate to find him than I do, how protective he’s been of me since my Uncle disappeared. I think he and my Uncle John were seriously involved, for quite a long time.

It’s kind of weird to realize your Uncle is, or at least was, in a long term relationship with a devil, but no matter the reason, I’m glad he's here. I don’t know If I could do all this without Nick's help. He’s half the reason I haven't been turned into a dumb hunk myself. I do worry sometimes that this is starting to get to him. Whoever transformed Uncle John has been sending… pictures, recently. He’s always transformed in a different way and with a different look, but I can just tell it’s him. They’re showing him off like some sort of trophy, using him to mock us. Nick never says anything but it’s killing him seeing my Uncle that way, I can tell.

This whole thing is my fault. I was the reason my Uncle got changed. I have to get him back. I know whoever took him is reading this post. I know you’re powerful, powerful enough that time travel, demons and capitalist don’t want to fight you. But I’m not afraid of you. I know who you are, and I’m giving you a fair warning: I’m coming for you, and I’m getting him back. No matter what.

**I’ve been meaning to do a sequel to the ‘My Uncle’ story for a while. I love big lore stories. I need to introduce the big bad soon, but there so much other stuff to write too so it might still be a bit. Hope you love this story and hope you guys can wait!**

[azurbright]

So this is my Grumbo, creative writing assignment for my course. My teacher liked it, and I got many compliments from my peers. It's based on another Grumbo short story I made for this class. Generally, though, you should be able to gather what's going on.

I only had 200-300 words per entry, with a 5 entry maximum, so that's why they're so short. For everyone who said they wanted to see it.

@oso-bigback64 @raylaismad @not-a-boot @crispycheeto364 @a-sociopath-do-your-research @endaisgayandtrans @auseryoumayknow @ghost-er-toast-er

Blog entry number 1: Day one

Many months ago I began my search for the key to immortality. Although I have yet to find it, I am sure that I am going to get there soon. Nobody has done what I have been able to do, technological advances have not come as far as this yet. Today, a boy fell from the sky, he claims his name is Grian, he has yet to indulge me in where he has come from but I will inform once I become aware. As of now I have brought him back to my lab and we’ve begun testing. He doesn’t seem to feel any pain at all once so ever. He claims not to be immortal but something does seem off. Only time will tell. We got along easy, I don’t mind having the company around, he's a bit of a pessimist but I can make it work. Later today I plan on taking him out to town, he says he hasn’t had a meal in days which simply just can’t be good for him. Now, however, I am in my office whilst he naps on my couch, writing this entry here. The testing went well, his blood and hair samples are currently in the lab, I am awaiting results. What I do know now though is he seems to be sprouting these sort of purple feathers along his back. When I asked him about them he didn't know. Will do more research on those.

Blog entry number 2: Day fourteen

Today, I have a lot to say. I have made a technological breakthrough. The feathers were the answer, the stem of these feathers that come from him hold a sort of liquid, the chemical compound is something that I have never seen before. It's simply extraordinary. Grian has opened up to me more, he's talked about the sort of tortures the Watchers put him through. When I asked him what a Watchet was he also wasn’t quite sure. They claim to be gods, but he believes that they are something so much worse. I have tried to find books and papers about them but they seem to be mostly mythological creatures that random people have written about. Grian looked over the books with me but he doesn’t think most of the information is correct. I've claimed him as my patient, and I believe he has claimed me as a sort of patient as well. He refuses to sleep unless I do. I believe it's just the kindness he carries with him, he's less pessimistic than I had originally gathered but he had just fallen from the sky after being held captive for an unknown amount of time. All that being said, he continues to stay in the lab seeing as he doesnt have any family, or doesn’t remember. He doesn’t even necessarily think he's from this world. Which, opens up the idea of multiple dimensions, exciting stuff for a man like me really. Once again I will report back soon with more information.

Blog entry number 3: Day thirty

Something strange has started to happen, perhaps it's due to the stress but Grian seems to be strangely concerned about it. The fronts of my hair have begun to grey out, nothing too serious, I feel perfectly fine. It's probably because I’ve been working too hard. On another note, I think I’ve figured it out. Grians DNA from the feathers mixed with the chemical compounds of CH4 and CHN2OPS, must be injected through the skin directly into the vein. I believe it is possible I have found it. A test subject is all I really need, I’ve sent Grian out to find and catch rats to test on. He's found one, and it hasn’t died yet. Thinking about it now, I don’t know why I made immortal rats. Ignoring work, Grian and I have been getting closer, I think we must be connected somehow. For someone like me, a scientist that is, it is surprising for many to hear that I believe in a predetermined destiny, and that destiny has brought Grian to me for quite a few reasons I don’t think I’m ready to disclose yet. Not to him, or whoever is reading this blog here. Besides, I need to do more research and distractions aren’t necessary.

Blog entry number 4: Day sixty

I’m starting to fear that the greying isn’t normal. It has spread from the beginnings of my hair to the very roots and all over. I feel older somehow, my bones feel lighter? Grian says he does not truly believe I am okay and has begged me many times to stop my work. But how can I stop now? When I have already come this far? I know the immortality shot works and I can just give it to myself, the first human test subject. He says he's worried about me, about what will happen. He claims that the Watchers are punishing him, through me. Although, I’m not sure why they would do that because I haven’t even known him for long but maybe it ties back into the whole fate thing. I am a little bit worried about how this is all affecting Grian, especially because he hasn’t been talking much, I’m sure he's just feeling a bit under the weather. Right? Today though, I think something happened between us. I'm not an experienced person but there was a moment where everything felt okay, we were just sitting together, me on my stool, and him in his small chair in the corner. He's found a way underneath my skin. I’d be lying if I said I want him to leave. I have thoroughly enjoyed his company more than I’ve ever enjoyed someone else's company. I'd usually consider myself a loner but I don’t want to be alone again. I think he feels similarly, I think that's why he's so worried about the greying. I don’t know.

Blog entry number 5: Day eighty-seven

I was supposed to die today. I should’ve listened to him, I really should have. Science isn't meant to mess with the laws of nature. People die and I've passed my prime in a short time. As of a few minutes ago my body was roughly around the age of seventy-five or so. Grian is gone now, he traded his life for mine. I can’t even thank him. He came here just to bid me goodbye, and through the crack in the door I caught sight of the Watcher, it was beautiful in a sick kind of way. I'm young again, I’ll die one day but not now. For the rest of my life I’ll be mourning somebody who fell out of the sky, and anybody could hardly believe me. All I can keep thinking is about how I shouldn’t have done this, I was so insistent, and wrong, and right at the same time. I did figure it out but the cost was what mattered. I’m back to being alone, I caught a glimpse of my appearance in the mirror. My hair is back to dark, it doesn’t feel real. Even running my fingers through the thick hairs on my head. I’m stressed, I want to forget this all. Every last second.

[fiendishfables]

hello!! i saw ur blog and i was super excited to see another aroaceee is it alright if you do platonic adam x reader headcanons? he can be reader's friend, sibling, or preferably reader's father figure as long as its platonic, anything u'd like is fine! sorry if my request is kinda weird lol, i just haven't seen a lot of platonic hazbin hotel stuff (especially stuff with adam in it)

a/n: Always good to meet other aroace individuals, indeed. I personally love Adam, he is absolutely my favorite character. I’ve been dying to write for him more and thinking of him as a dad is just my favorite scenario-

warnings: cursing, Adam being Adam, brief mentions of sex, subtle hints at Lute x Adam (if you squint)

words: 944

additional notes: this was one of my first asks I ever got; I AM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. Enjoy~!

Adam as a Father Figure

Headcanons

First of all, he never expected to actually have a kid of his own, but now here he was

By the time you turned 6, you knew about every single curse word in existence, along with a (disturbingly) decent amount of female anatomy

Lute gets promoted to babysitter

When Adam is off performing with his band or needed in the council/other Heavenly resides, Lute is responsible for keeping track of his child

Even if she lost you (which she has, multiple times) he won't be that worried

You were a kid and as far as Adam knew, kids needed food

Hence how he knew you would find your way back to him eventually

Okay scratch that, maybe he does get a little worried...a lot

Starts to doubt his ability as a parent

Once he even got Sera to send out a search party for you because you had been gone longer than usual

It worried him sick whenever you went exploring, but he was almost a bit prideful that his offspring had managed to inherit his sneaking around capabilities already at such a young age

Lute has had to console her boss many times in response to your random disappearances under her watchfulness

He has legit been facedown on the couch with his head in her lap whilst he bawls his eyes out, blabbering to her about his worries pertaining to you, and then somehow that stems to his hopes and dreams in life (he doesn't wanna talk about it)

Only for you to walk in with food from some random location about 10 minutes later

You'd be on the floor as soon as you enter the domicile because Adam would have jumped on you and then proceeded to hug the very life out of you (all while stealing your bag of food in the process and running off with it)

Calls you a bitch, dumbass, and 'a little shit' for worrying him

Though he would never openly admit he had been worried

He doesn't care if you have a social life, he wants you home safe before 9pm, sharp

── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──

Teaches you how to play guitar

He claims its because he wants to pass on one of his awesome talents to his only child, but he also really wants you to join him and his band on stage one day or another

You are in the starter stages of learning and are able to accurately get chords down and learn to read sheet music

A tear just may have come to his eye

The first song you two ever perform together is "Hell is Forever"

He did see someone try to give you a rose after your performance and nearly knocked them out

Trust him, he's a sex and relationship positive guy (for the most part) but he also can't help but feel like he wants to protect you at all costs

If you dare to call him over-protective, he will very gladly give you the silent treatment for a good 5 minutes

After that time mark, he will be groveling at your feet and whining about how sorry he is (rare that he actually says 'sorry')

His biggest fear is his own child having it out for him and not wanting anything to do with him

A clingy parent, no doubt

Wants to train you in the ways of becoming an Exorcist Angel

Poor guy is a bit insecure about everything and needs extra reassurance, though he would never ever outwardly ask for it

That's a sign of weakness in his eyes

Not for his child though

You come to him with even the smallest hint of watery eyes and he is already going full dad-mode

Determined to find the fucker who made you upset

Promises to give em' a good ol' kick in the balls (or vag)

Adam won't discriminate, he's just there to beat the ass of whoever hurt his precious baby

He will get in a fist fight with Sera in order to make you happy

Just expect to be the one he then blames when he gets demoted

── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──

Adam totally took lots of naps before he had a child, so this just makes for the two of you ending up crashing on the couch together and creating a melodic tune out of your in-sync snoring patterns

Anything the two of you can do together without constantly arguing is a miracle, so this is to be cherished

He has definitely given you some very creative nicknames (as he calls himself 'Dickmaster')

Lute has taken many pictures

She wants to make a photo album and give it to Adam one day just to piss him off

But as she knows how much he really cares for you, she does not want to risk him growing apart from you due to something stupid she did for a few momentary laughs

Let's you two have your moments without interrupting

The two of you always fight over food and who gets to pick where you go for the evening, if going anywhere at all

Lute claims that you are making Adam all the more emotional, but no one seems to be complaining

Especially not the High Council

Its nice to have him shut his mouth for once and remotely think about his actions and who they could potentially effect

Adam has something to lose now, and everyone in both Heaven and Hell alike knew it

No demon spawn would ever get to set even a foot near you

You were the first life he felt truly responsible for

He refuses to fuck it up and lose someone else he cares about

He would protect you until the ends of time, whether you liked it or not

[seungvocado]

Break Ground [Final]

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — Pairing: Seungmin x Reader

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — Content/Trigger warning: Step brother!Seungmin, Step sister!Reader, Fem!Reader, Slow burn, Fluff, Service dom!Seungmin, Soft dom!Seungmin, Fingering (F. Receiving), P in V sex (unprotected), Creampie, Aftercare (?). [Let me know if I miss out any!]

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — Sypnosis: Y/N who is secretly in love with Seungmin - even before they were step-siblings, navigates the complexities of their relationship. Unspoken feelings escalates when she dates another boy to distract herself from Seungmin.

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — Master list - Break Ground (mini series)

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — 18+ work! MDNI! Ageless/blank blogs will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog.

It was a few days after that fateful day that had changed everything between them. The atmosphere between Y/N and Seungmin had been thick with unspoken tension ever since. Every time they were alone, the air crackled with the weight of their unexpressed feelings.

One evening, they found themselves alone in the living room, their parents out for a dinner with friends. Seungmin sat on the couch, his eyes occasionally flicking to Y/N, who was pretending to focus on her phone. She could feel his gaze, the unspoken words hanging heavy between them.

Finally, Seungmin broke the silence. "Y/N," he began, his voice a little hesitant, "I... I need to talk to you about something."

She looked up, feigning nonchalance though her heart was racing. "Yeah? What’s up, Seungmin?"

He hesitated, as if searching for the right words. "I’ve been thinking a lot about us. About what happened… and how I feel about you."

Y/N raised an eyebrow, trying to hide the smirk threatening to form. She had an idea of where this was going, but she wanted to make him work for it. "And how exactly do you feel about me?" she asked, her tone playful, almost teasing.

Seungmin sighed, running a hand through his hair, clearly struggling with how to express himself. "You know it’s complicated… but I can’t keep pretending that I don’t care about you more than just as… as a step-sister."

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat, but she kept her composure, leaning back on the couch. "Oh? Is that so?" she teased, enjoying watching him squirm. "And what are you going to do about it?"

Seungmin looked at her, his expression serious. "I want to be with you, Y/N. Not just in secret. I want to be with you for real. I know it’s risky, and we’d have to be careful, but… I can’t keep this to myself anymore."

Y/N’s teasing facade faltered slightly at the earnestness in his voice. She leaned forward, her playful demeanor softening. "You know, Seungmin," she said, her voice dropping to a more sincere tone, "I broke up with my boyfriend."

Seungmin blinked, clearly surprised. "You did?"

She nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. "I realized that I couldn’t keep pretending with him when my heart was somewhere else."

He looked at her, his expression a mix of relief and confusion. "But why didn’t you tell me?"

Y/N leaned closer, her smile turning into a smirk as she spoke in a low, teasing voice. "Because I wanted to see how long it would take you to ask me out. And… because I know you were secretly jealous." She poked his arm playfully, enjoying the way his cheeks flushed slightly.

Seungmin’s eyes widened, and then he let out a small, almost embarrassed laugh. "You knew?"

Y/N knew that Seungmin was deeply jealous of the public affection she had shared with her ex-boyfriend at university. Even though Seungmin had never outright expressed his jealousy, the way his eyes would darken or how he’d get tense whenever her ex was mentioned spoke volumes. The every morning after Seungmin and her pleasured each other, Y/N had already made up her mind to end things with her boyfriend.

Breaking up with him wasn’t difficult; the connection she had with Seungmin was so much stronger, so much more real. However, she knows the secrecy of their new relationship came with its own set of challenges.

"Of course I knew," she teased. "You’re not as good at hiding your feelings as you think, Seungmin. I could see it every time we were at school. You hated that I could be affectionate with him in public, didn’t you?"

He groaned, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah… I did. It drove me crazy seeing you with him when I couldn’t even let on how I felt about you."

Y/N reached out and took his hand, her teasing replaced by sincerity. "Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore. I broke up with him because I wanted to be with you. I just love teasing you too much to tell you right away."

Seungmin squeezed her hand, his expression softening. "You’re something else, you know that?"

Y/N grinned. "I try."

They sat in silence for a moment, the weight of their mutual confessions settling between them. Then, Seungmin gently tugged her closer, his eyes searching hers. "So… does this mean we’re really doing this? Secretly dating?"

Y/N leaned in, her lips brushing against his in a soft, lingering kiss. When she pulled back, her eyes sparkled with mischief. "I think we’ve been doing this for a while now. But yeah, Seungmin… let’s make it official."

Seungmin’s smile was a mix of relief and happiness. "I’m glad," he murmured, pulling her into a deeper kiss, their connection now even stronger with the knowledge that they were finally on the same page.

As they pulled away, Y/N couldn’t resist one last tease. "You know, Seungmin, you might have to get used to seeing me tease you in public now. I can’t help myself."

Seungmin chuckled, shaking his head. "As long as I’m the only one you’re teasing like this, I think I can handle it."

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ

Seungmin’s years of bottled-up affection and hidden desires seemed to have created a flood once the dam finally broke. Now that they were together, he couldn't help but be an incredibly affectionate boyfriend, making up for all the lost time when he had to pretend that Y/N was just his step-sister.

At university, Y/N and Seungmin maintained the appearance of step-siblings, keeping up the facade for the sake of their friends and classmates. The knowledge that they couldn’t openly show their affection in public made the moments they shared in private all the more intense.

Whenever they were alone, whether it was sneaking kisses in secluded corners of the campus or meeting up at their favorite spots outside of school, the chemistry between them was undeniable. But in front of their friends, they had to act like nothing had changed, keeping their interactions casual and friendly, hiding the passion that simmered beneath the surface.

Seungmin made sure to shower Y/N with all the love and attention he had kept locked away for so long. He was always finding excuses to pull her close, to press soft kisses to her forehead, her cheeks, her lips—anywhere he could reach. It was as if he needed to make up for all the years he couldn’t show her how he truly felt.

Whether it was a gentle brush of his hand against hers as they walked side by side, or a full embrace when they were in the privacy of her room, Seungmin was constantly seeking out ways to express his love. He’d lean in to steal kisses when she least expected it, and when they were cuddled up together, he’d nuzzle into her neck, leaving a trail of tender kisses as he whispered sweet nothings into her ear.

In the mornings before they left for university, Seungmin would pull Y/N into his arms, pressing a lingering kiss to her lips, as if he couldn’t bear to be away from her for too long. And when they returned home, he’d greet her with the same level of affection, as if each moment apart only made his love for her grow stronger.

It wasn’t just physical affection, either. Seungmin made sure Y/N knew how much she meant to him with his words and actions. He was always attentive, always ready to listen to her, to comfort her, to make her feel cherished. The years he had spent hiding his feelings had only deepened his love for her, and now that he could finally express it, he was determined to make every moment count.

Y/N, for her part, relished in Seungmin’s affection. She had always known he cared for her, but experiencing it so openly and freely was something entirely different. The intensity of his love was overwhelming at times, but in the best possible way. And as much as she loved teasing him, she knew that his affection was something she had come to rely on, something that made her feel safe, loved, and truly cherished.

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ

The sexual tension between Seungmin and Y/N had been building steadily for months. Their secret relationship was filled with stolen kisses, late-night rendezvous, and whispered confessions. But despite how far they’d gone, there was still one line they hadn’t crossed—a line that Y/N was eager to step over.

Every time they were alone, the desire between them grew more intense. They had explored each other’s bodies with hands and mouths, pushing the limits of their self-control, but Seungmin always held himself back from going all the way. Y/N could feel his restraint every time they were together, the way his hands would tighten on her hips, or how his breath would hitch as he fought to control himself. She could tell he was struggling, especially when she teased him, urging him to let go and take her fully. But Seungmin had made up his mind—he wanted to wait and give her a perfect first time, no matter how difficult it was.

One night, as they lay together in her room, the moonlight casting soft shadows across their tangled limbs, Y/N couldn’t hold back her longing any longer. She pressed herself against him, her hands roaming over his chest as she whispered, “Seungmin… I want you to take me. I want you completely.”

Seungmin’s breath caught in his throat, his body tensing as her words sank in. He had heard her say this before, had felt the same desperate urge to give in, to finally claim her as his own. But he knew if he gave in now, there would be no going back.

He closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing as Y/N continued to press kisses along his neck, her hands wandering lower, teasing him. “Y/N,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire, “you know how much I want to… but we have to wait.”

Y/N pulled back slightly, her eyes meeting his with a mix of frustration and yearning. “Why, Seungmin? We both want this. Why can’t we just…?”

“Because,” he interrupted gently, his hands cupping her face, “I want it to be special. I want it to be perfect. And… I don’t trust myself to stop if we start now.”

She could see the sincerity in his eyes, the way he was holding himself back for her sake. It made her heart ache with both love and longing. She knew he was right, but that didn’t make it any easier. “You’re driving me crazy, you know that?” she teased, trying to lighten the mood, even as her body ached for more.

Seungmin chuckled softly, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip. “You’re the one driving me crazy,” he murmured, leaning in to capture her lips in a deep, heated kiss. “But I promise, it’ll be worth the wait. Your birthday… I’ll make it special for you. I’ll take you fully then.”

Y/N sighed, a mix of anticipation and frustration swirling within her. “You better keep that promise,” she whispered against his lips.

Seungmin grinned, his eyes darkening with a mix of love and desire. “I will,” he promised, kissing her deeply once more before pulling her close, both of them trying to ignore the fire burning between them.

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ

Y/N woke up to a flood of messages and calls from her friends wishing her a happy birthday. She smiled as she read through each one, her heart warming at the love and attention. The day had finally arrived, the day she and Seungmin had been eagerly anticipating. But she pushed that thought to the back of her mind for now, focusing instead on the plans she had.

Because her birthday clashes with the holidays, her parents and Seungmin surprised her with a suite in a resort by the beach, where her friends decorated the suite’s living room with flowers, balloons and streamers. The table was already filled with gifts, and Y/N felt her heart swell with gratitude as she reached and saw all her close friends already in the room, surprising her.

She thought this was a family trip and did not think that her friends would be in it too. She knew this would be Seungmin’s doing, to invite her close friends since he knew Y/N would like to spent some time with her friends too on her special day. She made a mental note to thank him later.

They ordered a huge brunch spread, complete with pancakes, waffles, and mimosas. The conversation flowed easily, filled with laughter and stories. Her friends, knowing she had broken up with her boyfriend, made sure to keep the mood light and fun. Y/N just laughed it off, her mind secretly preoccupied with thoughts of Seungmin.

After brunch, her parents presented her with their gifts. Her mother handed her a beautifully wrapped box, and when Y/N opened it, her eyes widened in surprise. Inside was a set of delicate lingerie in soft pastels, intricate lace detailing the edges. She looked up at her mother, who smiled and winked.

“Just a little something for you to feel special,” her mother said, a knowing twinkle in her eye. “We know how close you and your boyfriend were.”

Before Y/N could respond, her father handed her a smaller box. She opened it to find a pack of condoms, and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Dad!” she exclaimed, trying to hide her mortification.

He just chuckled. “Better safe than sorry, right? We just want you to be prepared.”

Y/N forced a smile, nodding along even though she felt a wave of discomfort wash over her. They didn’t know she had broken up with her boyfriend, and she wasn’t about to correct them now. Seungmin, who had been quiet during the gift exchange, glanced at her with a subtle, knowing smile that made her heart skip a beat.

Her parents decided to leave after Brunch for home, thinking they should leave the youngsters to their activities.

It was a perfect day—one filled with the warmth of friendship and the carefree joy that came with it. But as much as Y/N enjoyed the time with her friends, she couldn’t help but feel a growing sense of anticipation as the hours passed.

As the night wore on and her friends finally returned home leaving only her and Seungmin staying for the night, Y/N found herself growing more and more anxious. The anticipation that had been building all day was almost too much to bear. After a nice bubble bath, she changed into the new lingerie her mother had given her, the soft lace brushing against her skin, and sat on the king-sized resort bed, waiting.

It wasn’t long before she hear the bathroom door open. Her heart raced as she sees Seungmin came out with a towel to dry his hair. He entered quietly, closing the door behind him, and when he turned to face her, the intensity in his eyes made her breath hitch.

He threw the towel aside and went to his bag taking out a small, neatly wrapped box, and Y/N took it, her hands trembling slightly. She unwrapped it carefully, revealing a delicate silver necklace with a tiny pendant shaped like a puppy. It was simple, cute, yet elegant, and she immediately fell in love with it.

“Happy birthday,” he murmured, his voice low and filled with something deeper than just affection.

“Oh, Seungmin… it’s beautiful,” she whispered, her eyes shining with emotion.

“I’m glad you like it,” he said softly, taking the necklace from her and gently fastening it around her neck. His fingers brushed against her skin, sending shivers down her spine. “I wanted to give you something special, something that would always remind you of how much I care about you.”

Y/N reached up to touch the pendant, her heart swelling with love for him. “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “I’ll never take it off.”

Seungmin smiled, his eyes darkening with desire as he took in the sight of her in the lingerie, the necklace resting just above the delicate fabric. “You look… incredible,” he murmured, stepping closer to her.

Y/N felt her breath catch as he closed the distance between them, his hands coming up to cup her face. He kissed her softly at first, his lips gentle and tender against hers. But as the kiss deepened, the passion they had been holding back for so long began to surge forward, unstoppable.

They moved to the bed, their kisses growing more intense, more desperate. Seungmin’s hands roamed over her body, caressing her through the delicate lace, his touch sending waves of pleasure through her. Y/N’s hands weren’t idle either; she traced the lines of his muscles, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath her fingertips.

When Seungmin finally pulled back, his breathing heavy, he looked at her with a mix of love and something more primal. “Are you sure about this?” he asked, his voice rough with need.

Y/N nodded, her eyes locked on his. “I’ve never been more sure about anything,” she whispered.

With that, they slowly began to undress each other, their movements filled with both reverence and urgency. When their bodies finally met, skin on skin, the sensation was overwhelming. The feeling of being so close, of finally fulfilling the promise they had made to each other, was almost too much to bear.

Seungmin took his time, exploring every inch of her body, worshiping her with his lips and hands. He kissed her deeply, their tongues tangling together as they lost themselves in each other. The anticipation that had been building for so long made every touch, every kiss, feel electric, the pleasure almost too intense.

“Seungmin…” Y/N whispered as she felt him move lower, his mouth leaving a trail of fire down her neck, her chest, her stomach. He paused for a moment, looking up at her, his eyes filled with love and desire.

“I want to make this perfect for you,” he murmured, his voice low and husky.

“It already is,” she breathed, her fingers threading through his hair.

He smiled at that, and then he was kissing her again, his hands guiding her hips as they moved together, the tension between them building higher and higher. The pleasure was overwhelming, the connection between them so deep, so powerful, that it felt like nothing else in the world existed.

As Seungmin's hands slid lower, teasing the waistband of her panties, Y/N's breath caught in her throat. The tension between them was thick, each movement filled with anticipation. When Seungmin finally removed the last barrier between them, he took a moment to just look at her, his eyes drinking in the sight of her laid bare before him.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his voice filled with reverence.

Y/N felt a blush creep up her neck, her heart pounding in her chest. “Seungmin…”

He leaned down, capturing her lips in a deep, passionate kiss that left her breathless. His hands roamed over her body, exploring every curve, every dip, as if he was memorizing the feel of her. When his fingers finally found her center, she gasped, arching into his touch.

“Does that feel good?” Seungmin murmured against her neck, his voice deep and husky. He nipped at her collarbone, his fingers digging into her hips as he pressed his body closer to hers.

“Yes… so good,” Y/N gasped, arching into him. Her hands slid up his back, her nails raking down his skin, eliciting a groan from him that made her pulse race.

He was slow, almost maddeningly so, his fingers moving in a gentle rhythm that had her squirming beneath him. He watched her closely, his eyes dark with desire as he teased her, drawing out her pleasure until she was on the edge of begging.

“Please…” she whispered, her voice trembling with need.

Seungmin’s eyes darkened with lust as he looked down at her, his breath heavy. “You don’t know what you do to me, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice strained with the effort of holding back. “You make me lose control… I’ve been holding back for so long, but tonight… I don’t want to anymore.”

“Then don’t,” Y/N urged, her voice barely above a whisper. “I trust you, Seungmin. I want you to let go. I want to feel all of you.”

That was all Seungmin needed to hear. His resolve crumbled as he captured her lips in another searing kiss, his tongue plunging into her mouth with a hunger that matched her own. His hands gripped her hips more tightly, lifting her slightly as he aligned their bodies. The sensation of his hardness pressing against her core sent waves of heat through her, and she instinctively rocked her hips against him, craving more of the friction that drove her wild.

Seungmin growled low in his throat as he felt Y/N’s heat against him. He broke the kiss, panting as he looked down at her, his eyes filled with a primal need. “You feel so good, Y/N… I can’t get enough of you.”

With a groan of surrender, Seungmin’s hands moved to her thighs, parting them as he positioned himself between her legs. He reached down to grasp his length, guiding it to her entrance, but instead of entering her, he teased her, rubbing himself against her slick folds. The sensation was maddening, and Y/N whimpered, her hips bucking up to meet him.

“Please, Seungmin,” she begged, her voice trembling with need. “I need you… don’t tease me.”

Seungmin smirked at her desperation, the control he had over her fueling his own desire. “You’re so beautiful when you beg,” he murmured, his voice thick with lust. “But I want to make sure you’re ready for me.”

With that, he slipped his finger back inside her and added another quickly after, her warmth and wetness nearly driving him over the edge. Y/N gasped at the intrusion, her body instinctively tightening around him as he began to move his finger in and out of her, slowly at first, then gradually increasing the pace. The sensation was electric, her nerves alight with pleasure as he added a third finger, stretching her further.

“Seungmin…” Y/N moaned, her hands clutching at the sheets as he pumped his fingers into her with increasing intensity. “It feels so good… I’m so close…”

Seungmin’s eyes were locked on her face, watching every expression of pleasure that crossed her features. “That’s it, baby… let go for me,” he coaxed, his thumb finding her clit and rubbing it in firm circles. The added stimulation sent Y/N over the edge, her body tensing as she cried out his name, waves of pleasure crashing over her as she came undone around his fingers.

He didn’t stop, didn’t slow down, even as she rode out her orgasm. Instead, he kept up the relentless pace, his fingers thrusting into her, his thumb working her clit, drawing out her pleasure until she was a quivering mess beneath him.

“Seungmin, I can’t… it’s too much…” Y/N gasped, her body trembling from the intensity of her release.

But Seungmin wasn’t done. He withdrew his fingers, his hand slick with her arousal, and brought them to his mouth, his eyes never leaving hers as he licked them clean. “You taste so sweet, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice low and seductive. “I could spend all night tasting you.”

Y/N’s breath hitched at his words, her body already aching for more. “I want to feel you, Seungmin… all of you,” she whispered, her voice shaky with need. “Please… I need you inside me.”

Seungmin’s control snapped. He reached down to line himself up with her entrance, but paused, his eyes searching hers for any hesitation. “Are you sure, Y/N?” he asked, his voice gentle despite the fire burning in his eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Y/N nodded, her heart swelling with love for him. “I’m sure,” she whispered, her voice filled with trust and affection. “I want this, Seungmin. I want you.”

Seungmin’s breath hitched at her words, and for a moment, he just looked at her, his expression unreadable. Then, with a slow, deliberate movement, he positioned himself between her legs, the tip of him brushing against her entrance.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

Y/N nodded, with her consent, Seungmin began to push inside her, his breath catching in his throat at the tightness that enveloped him. Y/N gasped, her body tensing at the unfamiliar stretch. Seungmin stilled, his hands gripping her hips as he gave her time to adjust to the feeling of him inside her.

Y/N felt her heart racing as she felt him slowly begin to push inside her. The sensation was intense, a mix of pleasure and pressure as her body adjusted to the intrusion. Seungmin moved carefully, inch by inch, his hands started massaging her sides as he watched her face for any sign of discomfort.

He let out a shaky breath, his control fraying at the edges as he continued to push deeper, her warmth enveloping him in a way that made his head spin. When he was fully seated inside her, he paused, his forehead resting against hers as they both took a moment to adjust.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice strained with the effort of holding back. “We can stop if it’s too much.”

Y/N shook her head, her hands clutching at his shoulders as she tried to relax, her eyes fluttering shut as she focused on the sensation. “I’m okay… just give me a moment,” she whispered, her voice soft but determined.

Seungmin waited, his body trembling with the effort of remaining still. Seungmin leaned down to place soft kisses all over her face. He was buried inside her to the hilt, and the sensation of her warmth and tightness surrounding him was almost too much to bear. But he would wait as long as she needed, because this wasn’t just about pleasure—it was about them, about the connection they shared, about the love that had brought them to this moment.

“You feel… incredible,” he whispered, his voice laced with awe.

“So do you,” Y/N replied, her hands sliding up his back, pulling him closer.

For a few moments, they just stayed like that, their bodies intertwined, their breaths mingling as they savored the intimacy of the moment.

Finally, Y/N took a deep breath and nodded, her eyes meeting his. “I’m ready,” she whispered, her voice filled with trust and love.

Seungmin’s heart swelled with emotion as he kiss her once on the lips and began to move, slowly at first, giving her time to adjust to the sensation of him inside her. Every inch of her body was alight with pleasure, and she could feel every movement, every thrust, as he filled her completely.

The pleasure was intense, overwhelming, but Seungmin held back, his movements slow and controlled as he guided her through the experience. He was patient, making sure she was comfortable, that the pleasure outweighed any discomfort.

The sensation was overwhelming, but it was also perfect, and she couldn’t help the moan that escaped her lips as he began to pick up the pace. And as Y/N’s body adjusted, she began to meet his thrusts, her hands gripping his shoulders as she urged him on.

“Y/N… you feel so good,” Seungmin groaned against her ear, his hands went to her breasts as he thrust into her with increasing intensity. “I can’t believe we’re finally doing this… you’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”

Y/N’s breath hitched as the pleasure began to build again, her body responding to every movement, every touch. “Seungmin… don’t stop… please, don’t stop,” she gasped, her hands clutching at his shoulders as she met his thrusts with equal fervor.

He knew what she needed before she even finished the sentence, his pace quickening just enough to push her closer to the edge. The tension between them was electric, the pleasure so intense it was almost unbearable.

Seungmin’s control was slipping. He could feel the pleasure building inside him, the overwhelming need to lose himself in her completely. He leaned down, capturing her lips in a searing kiss as he continued to move inside her, his pace growing more desperate with each thrust.

Y/N moaned into his mouth, her body trembling with the intensity of the pleasure that was coursing through her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper inside her, the sensation of him fucking her deep drives her wild with desire.

“Seungmin… I’m so close… please, I need you…” Y/N gasped, her voice trembling with need.

Seungmin groaned as he felt Y/N’s walls tightening around him, his hands gripping her hips tightly as he thrust into her with a force that bordered on desperation. “Come for me, Y/N,” he urged, his voice rough with emotion. “Don’t hold back,” he whispered, his voice rough with emotion. “Let go, Y/N. I’m right here with you, I’ve got you.”

That was all she needed. The pleasure built to an unbearable peak, and with a cry of his name, she came undone beneath him, her body tightening around him as waves of ecstasy crashed over her.

Seungmin wasn’t far behind. The sensation of her climax, the way her walls clenched around him, was too much to bear. With a few more desperate thrusts, he followed her over the edge, his own release shattering through him as he buried himself deep inside her. Seungmin catch Y/N’s lips into a searing kiss, tongue tangled with her’s as he paints her walls with his cum. His body trembling with the force of his release as he held her close, his grip almost desperate.

Seungmin’s body shuddered as he rode out the intense waves of pleasure, buried deep inside Y/N. His breath came in ragged gasps, his forehead resting against hers as he tried to regain his composure. His body spent but his heart full. Y/N wrapped her arms around him, holding him close as they both caught their breath, the aftershocks of their lovemaking still pulsing through them. The room was filled with the sound of their heavy breathing, the air thick with the scent of sex and the lingering warmth of their shared release.

Y/N’s hands were still tangled in Seungmin’s hair, her body quivering beneath him as she slowly came down from her high. She could feel the rapid thumping of Seungmin’s heart against her chest, their bodies still intimately connected, the sensation of him still inside her making her feel a warmth and connection unlike anything she’d ever experienced before.

“Y/N…” Seungmin murmured, his voice laced with emotion as he slowly lifted his head to look at her. His dark eyes were filled with a tenderness that took her breath away, and she could see the love and devotion in his gaze as he brushed a stray lock of hair from her face.

She smiled up at him, her heart swelling with affection as she cupped his cheek with her hand. “Seungmin,” she whispered back, her voice soft and filled with emotion. “That was… incredible.”

Seungmin’s lips curled into a small, satisfied smile as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to her lips. “You’re incredible,” he whispered against her mouth, his voice still a little breathless. “I can’t believe we just… did that. You were so perfect.”

Y/N blushed at his words, her heart fluttering in her chest as she returned the kiss. As she pulled away, Y/N smiled, her heart swelling with affection as she reached up to brush a strand of hair from his forehead. “So were you.”

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” she confessed, her voice trembling slightly. “I can’t believe it finally happened… with you. It was everything I imagined and more.”

Seungmin’s eyes softened even further as he pressed his forehead against hers, their noses brushing as they shared a moment of quiet intimacy. “I’ve dreamed about this for so long,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “But it was more than just the physical… it’s because it’s you, Y/N. I love you so much, and being with you like this… it’s like everything I’ve ever wanted finally came true.”

Y/N’s heart soared at his words, and she felt a warmth spread through her chest as she looked into his eyes. “I love you too, Seungmin,” she whispered back, her voice filled with sincerity. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone else… you’re everything to me.”

Seungmin’s heart swelled with emotion, and he couldn’t resist leaning down to capture her lips in another tender kiss. The passion from earlier was still there, but it was tempered with a deep sense of love and connection that made the kiss feel even more meaningful.

They stayed like that for a while, their bodies still connected as they exchanged slow, languid kisses, savoring the afterglow of their lovemaking. Seungmin’s hands gently caressed her sides, his touch soft and reverent as he memorized every inch of her skin. Y/N’s fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck, her touch light and soothing as they shared this intimate moment.

Eventually, Seungmin reluctantly pulled back, his gaze full of love as he looked down at her. “Are you okay?” he asked softly, his voice laced with concern as he searched her eyes for any signs of discomfort.

Y/N smiled up at him, her eyes shining with happiness. “I’m more than okay,” she assured him, her voice full of contentment. “I feel… complete. Like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.”

Seungmin’s heart swelled with emotion at her words, and he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before slowly pulling out of her. The sensation left them both feeling a little empty, but the warmth of their connection remained.

As they lay there, tangled together in the sheets, Seungmin pulled Y/N into his arms, holding her close against his chest. She nuzzled into his neck, her breath warm against his skin as she sighed contentedly. Seungmin’s hand gently stroked her back, his touch soothing as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“Thank you,” Seungmin whispered, his voice filled with gratitude as he held her close. “For trusting me, for loving me… I’ll never take that for granted.”

Y/N looked up at him, her heart overflowing with affection as she cupped his cheek. “I’m the one who’s grateful,” she replied softly, her voice filled with emotion. “You’ve always been there for me, even when I didn’t realize how much I needed you. I love you, Seungmin… and I always will.”

Seungmin’s heart melted at her words, and he couldn’t resist capturing her lips in another sweet, lingering kiss. “I love you too, Y/N,” he whispered against her mouth. “More than anything.”

They stayed like that for a while, wrapped in each other’s arms, their bodies warm and content as they drifted off to sleep. The night had been everything they had hoped for and more, and as they fell asleep in each other’s arms. In that moment, the world outside didn’t matter; all that mattered was the love they had for each other.

[engeorged]

Aster's Maze

Follow up to Obi's Place, Santa’s Otto and The Sugarman’s House

Art by @badoobers

Words by @engeorged

I know it’s been over a year since I posted, but it’s been quite a journey for me. One I’m not even sure if I’m ready to talk about. The encounter with Obi changed me somehow and I’m not the same person I was. I can’t quite seem to settle anywhere for very long any more. I feel restless, and to be blunt, like I’m not quite fully present wherever I am.  My mind is always in a different place?

Let me go right back. By now, you’ve probably read about my encounter at Obi’s place. I’m not gonna lie, I was a wreck for a few days. It was like a hangover meets a sausage casing? The amount of food he’d packed in me took days to digest. I was swollen for 72 hours, not really able to do anything but sleep and go to the toilet. (I’ll spare you the details although I’m aware a few of you out there will want them you dirty bastards!!) I didn’t check my messages the whole time but after my last post, a lot of you had reached out to me. Turns out there’s quite a few of these guys around and they don’t fuck about! The pictures you all sent me were quite eye opening! (That's maybe for another post!)

The whole thing felt like a dream, but on reflection I realised it was a pretty good dream. I hate to admit it, but being able to eat that much food was quite a turn on. I tried for months to find him again and ask what he did to me. I’ve not been able to repeat it by myself, and trust me, I’ve tried. I can’t really even eat half of what he put into me. Every few weeks I would sit down in a restaurant or a buffet place and just block the afternoon out and eat as much as I could to see what would happen. Now I’m a big guy (and getting bigger!) and I could probably out eat most people if it came down to it but there’s just no way I can get as full as I did that morning. My belly is definitely increasing in size and capacity but still, without whatever magic he was using I can’t do it again. 

To cut a long story short, I ended up travelling. The few stories you sent me (that weren’t totally nuts) were fascinating, but from all over the world. I’ve been searching for trolls in Norway, piscies in the UK, dragons in china, tikoloshes in Africa. Nothing! Not a single bite. I was starting to believe that maybe it was a hallucination from being so over tired. Maybe the stripes on the road had hypnotised me as I drove or something. 

I’m currently living in Greece for a bit. I’ve pretty much run out and so I found a casual labour job on a building site in Greece. It’s a bit of a shit show to be honest,  but all I have to do is turn up and lay bricks for a few hours in the afternoon and I get paid! The extra bit of timber I’d put on means I break a sweat the second I get up, as even though it’s early autumn, here it’s still 24 degrees by midday! 

It was coming up to lunch time on the site when I started feeling a bit faint. I realised I’d not had anything to drink for a few hours and I was super dehydrated. I grabbed my water bottle and when lifted to my lips, only a few drips came out, so I had a scan of the area and saw a guy with a cart selling gyros and beers. Usually the street food was pretty good around here so I headed over, still wearing my tight high viz vest. As I got close to the stand I started to realise how hot the guy was selling them, now I’m newly ‘out’ and so I don’t still fully know what my type is but I can tell you reader, this guy was everyone’s type. He was stacked, his arms were like ripe watermelons and as I got close I realised how huge he was. I’ve told you I’m 6’5, but this guy towered over me. He must have been 7 feet easily. His hair was everywhere and he had this crazy medallion around his neck with a symbol on it I recognised from somewhere. 

Now, I know my story has ended up on some niche websites and blogs, so I know what you pervs are all waiting for. So here it is. His gut was potentially the hottest thing I have ever seen. It was huge. He was so tall it was practically oval. Firm and round and pushing against the buttons in his shirt. It was like he wasn’t even tempted to hide it. In fact, as I approached, he lifted his arms above his head to stretch which meant that there was a good three or four inches of furry dome poking out from underneath. He looked as stuffed as I was at Obi’s. As I got nearer I started to regret my decision to go over. I must have looked like an absolute state. I was wearing my battered work jeans and fluorescent jacket, covered in brick dust and sweat and I absolutely stank. A 280 lbs slab of man like me working in 30 degree heat is a recipe for funk, and I was dripping with it. He looked up and saw me so there was no going back, I committed and walked up trying to look cool. Something about him made me want to melt into a puddle. I said ‘Yasass’ in my best Greek accent and he replied with a bass filled ‘Hello, how can I help you’ in perfect English. His accent was vaguely British with a hint of Greek overlayed. The rumble of his voice made something shift inside me. I think I was in love. 

I ordered two beers and paid him. Lifting it to my lips, thirst took over and downed one on the spot. I didn’t really want to leave, I wanted to try and get his number or something. I downed the second beer and I could see it must have impressed him as he leant forward in his cart and offered me another. I ordered two and offered him one which he took. We stood chatting about the weather and what I was up to and as we chatted he started putting together a huge gyro full of amazing smelling meat. There was a hint of salad at the bottom but the thing was packed as tight as his shirt. He wrapped it up with his strong hands and offered it to me. I took it immediately and took a big bite, within minutes the thing had gone. It was the best tasting thing I’d ever had. When I finished I realised he’d just been watching me eat it, not saying anything. His dark eyes focussed on me making me feel very seen. He had very keen eyes that looked deep into my soul. (I know how pretentious that sounds, don't worry, but you’ll see I’m right in a minute!)

I jokingly said I could eat another one and before I’d finished my sentence he had one there in his large paw! I won’t bore you with the details because there will be a lot more later but suffice to say I ate 3 of his huge gyros. I was substantially full, my own belly was beginning to push out against my work clothes and I’m pretty sure I lost a button  I offered to pay but he wouldn’t take it. He just said he’d see me again. I went back to work on the site very full and very horny!

I stopped by for lunch every day for the next week and a half. In the evenings I discovered he owned a small but very cool restaurant bar selling the same food but with the addition of a whole selection of spirits and cocktails. It was a full two weeks before I plucked up the courage to ask him out. There was just something about him that drew me in. Reflecting back I don’t know if we actually spoke about much. Even now I know very little about him. All I remember is his huge belly, round and tight, every day staring at me. Perfection in a fursuit. I remember that he had a few piercings. The medallion round his neck had chains coming off it connecting to nipple piercings. He also had a heavy gold nose ring, which, if I wasn’t thinking with my dick, might have been a bit of a clue. I was looking out for whatever Obi was, not whatever he was. And is, I guess? 

On reflection, and with what I know now, he was strategically increasing my already substantial belly capacity for the game. (More on that later) Every meal, he would give me a little bit more food. A bag of stuffed vine leaves here, some baklava there, extra meat in the wrap, a special sauce, larger wraps. Before I knew it I was eating 6 of his gyros twice a day with whatever accompaniments he palmed off on me that day. Every evening I would spend bloated and swollen, nursing my aching stomach whilst thinking of Aster. (Oh I forgot, one thing I did get out of him was his name) I guess I should add that I didn’t twig what was happening in case that’s not obvious. I was bewitched by everything about him to the point where I didn’t realise he was testing me out for something much bigger. 

A few weeks in I had a penny drop moment, I’d just finished my 6th evening gyro and he was making me one more to finish me off. My belly was huge, packed with the supply of food he’d been encouraging me to eat. I was wearing a now painted-on shirt and I was standing in the street at 5pm obediently stuffing myself silly with his street food. I’d gone past full a few gyros ago and it was now simply pushing and stretching my stomach more and more. The feeling of the stretch (as some of you probably know) is exquisite. I’d experienced it fully with Obi and I’d been chasing that feeling all over the world to get to that place of total engorged capacity and it dawned on me suddenly I was there again. Something about that day made me realise I'd met another one of these creatures. Aster wasn’t human. 

I swallowed down my last bite and took the next one from his massive hairy hand. I looked at him properly for maybe the first time. Looking past my own lust and attraction and I saw that he wasn’t quite ‘right’. His hair was shaped in such a way that hair didn’t really grow. His side burns were much more than a side beard and that ring in his nose was huge because his nose was so large and flat. And his belly! No human belly would ever be that size and rounded shape when it was that big. It would be sagging down over his belt, not sitting proudly on top of it defying gravity. I started eating the food he’d made me and asked him outright. ‘Who are you?’ He looked me in the eye and said with a slightly crooked grin ‘Obi said you could eat.’ 

I stood back aghast. He was one of them. I had so many questions. But before I could ask any of them he started packing up his cart. I found myself rooted to the spot while he packed away. I literally couldn’t move. As he grabbed the handles he turned to me and put his large hand on top of my distended stomach and winked. And that’s when I saw it. The little purple twinkle in his eye. With that, he was gone and I was finally able to move. The fullness I was not noticing yet hit me and I nearly sat down on the pavement where I stood but I managed to pull myself together and make it back to the site where I did very little work. He’d fed me as much as Obi had done but without me noticing. And I let him! 

I could hardly wait for opening time at the restaurant that evening.  Still full from lunch,  I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to ask him out or just demand some answers. When I saw him behind the bar, cleaning a glass with a tea towel I knew what I wanted. I marched right up to the counter but before I had a chance to speak he pulled out a single purple rose which he handed me. As I looked at him in the low light, I realised all his confidence had fallen away and he was genuinely a little nervous. Turns out he’d fallen for me too. He ended up asking me on a date. Who knew a 7 foot tall Minotaur would be such a hopeless romantic. (Yeah I just dropped that in. I didn’t know how else to say it really! It is what it is?) He told me that he finished around midnight but that he had somewhere he wanted to take me and would that be alright. I agreed, obviously! And parked myself on a table by the window to wait for him. 

Even though the restaurant was pretty busy, he found time to be quite attentive. Every hour he brought me another rose and a plate of something to eat. By the time it was midnight I had a vase full of flowers and a belly full of Greek food! Bear in mind I was stuffed from lunch and I arrived at the restaurant at 6. So do the math to work out how full I currently am. That’s important for the rest of the story! As the final customers left I watched as he whipped round the place lifting the chairs and sweeping up as fast as he could. It was kind of cute to see how keen he was. When it was all done he explained to me that he wanted to take me somewhere that was special to him, somewhere he thought I would enjoy. He looked a little sheepish but I agreed. We walked through town (slowly I might add, I was basically round at this point) as he held my hand. Not many people can make me feel small but walking around holding this giant's hand was quite humbling. At this point I think my belly was bigger than his but he was still over half a foot taller than me. Being near him calmed my stomach too. It was like I was just pleasantly full when I was near him, not dangerously packed to bursting. We chatted a little bit but we mainly walked in silence, happy in each other's company.

We arrived at a sort of park on the edge of town. There were a few ruins we walked past but we ended up at the edge of what looked like a small cave. In any other setting I would have run a mile but he has been so tender with me I just felt super safe. In the moonlight, at the edge of the cave we stood looking into each other's eyes. He slowly leant in to kiss me and I let him. As he leant back I felt myself rooted to the spot again unable to move. He started walking backwards into the cave and as the dark consumed him he winked again and beckoned me to follow him. After a minute the effects of whatever it was wore off and I was able to slowly walk into the cave. After a few steps I discovered that  it was lit all along by torches and it started to become more of a corridor. There was no sign of Aster but I carried on into the maze. As I walked I felt a little rumble in my stomach. I brushed it off as just digestion starting and kept going. After a few turns it saw a few petals in the ground. The massive softie had left me a trail to follow. 

Eventually, I came across a small recess in the wall with a little table set into it and a candle. I sat down on one of the chairs and Aster emerged from out of the darkness with two heavy cloched plates. He sat down and put the plates in front of us. He pulled the cloches off to reveal a sizeable plate of oysters. I smiled and he smiled back. I found myself inexplicably hungry and went to take my first one, but he leant over and stopped me. He picked up a large oyster and lifted it to my lips. I smiled and opened my mouth and titled my head back. If I’m totally honest I’ve never eaten oysters before but I’d seen it in films. I knew I was supposed to swallow them whole so fortunately I didn’t make a tit of myself. I don’t know if you’ve had them before but I’m not gonna lie, they taste good but they are like swallowing snot! Being fed them was hot though! Knowing I had the full attention of this slab of man was really doing it for me! He fed me a few and then sat back and I did the same for him! Watching his heavy Adam's Apple bob up and down as he swallowed was a surprising new kink I discovered in that cave! 

Suffice to say, it was like time worked differently in that cave. We’d only been there a few minutes and there were a fair few oysters on each of our plates. Maybe 3 dozen each? They didn’t really take long to eat but it felt like we were there for hours. I wasn’t counting the oysters but by the time we’d cleared the plates, my belly had advanced quite a way. Like way more than a few dozen oysters would have done. It was still tight and round but it was a lot bigger and heavier. It appeared that my tank top had ripped at the edges and so I just took it off. Even though we were underground it wasn’t cold so I was happy in just my jeans. 

I looked at Aster and he had the biggest grin on his face. His own belly was beginning to blow out from our oyster binge. I could see even more of his substantial furry belly pushing out from his shirt. I wasn’t sure if he looked taller at that point? Everything about him was larger in some way and he was meatier and hairier too. (Yes every part of him was bigger. I won’t say more than that!) He was absentmindedly rubbing the underneath of his belly curve as he watched me readjust to my new bloated mass. His eyes were both kind and predatory at the same time. We stood there for a little while admiring one another until he winked and shimmered like Obi used to. With that he was gone and the chase was back on. I lumbered on further into the maze of tunnels, my swollen midsection slowing me down considerably. The path twisted and turned as I was led deeper in. 

I couldn’t tell you how long it was until I found him. At first, I began to hear running water and so, for want of any other clues, I followed the noise. The walls of the maze were beginning to look less constructed by human hands and more cave-like, I guess? Stone bricks giving way to actual stone. I even thought I saw a few flashes of gemstones here and there but I was more interested in my next meal. Even though I must have eaten a week's worth of food so far, I was still inexplicably hungry. I don’t know if I can describe how it felt. My insides felt packed full. Like totally solid. There was very little give to my belly. And yet I knew I wanted more. Actually I needed more. The stretched feeling I have when I’m around these guys is something I’ve never experienced before. 

Eventually, the water got louder and louder until I walked through a stone archway and found myself in a cavernous expanse. The sound of water turned out to be an underground waterfall, the water cascading down into a piercing blue lagoon. The ceiling was lit with some sort of glowing insects which were making a melodic rhythmic chirping sound. I searched around the expanse until I found him. He was sitting with his legs in the water next to a fire where he seemed to be grilling fish. It was the first time I’d seen his legs and they were indeed as you would imagine them to be. Covered in thick black hair. I couldn’t see his feet as they were in the water but I am guessing he didn’t have five toes at this point. It seemed that he was becoming more of his true self the closer we got to the centre. I made my way round and joined him sitting by the water. It was one of the most beautiful places I’d ever been. We sat there for a few moments in silence. Enjoying the beauty. I realised after a while that he was holding my hand.  He turned his attention to the fire and pulled out a perfectly grilled fish which he placed next to himself and he began to break off pieces of the succulent meat and began feeding it to me. The fish melted in my mouth. It was so succulent and tender. I ate the whole thing quickly and he brought a second fish over and put his hands back on the floor as a signal for me to feed him. I obliged, tenderly placing it into his mouth. We did this for a while until all the fish he was cooking had gone. He leant forward and I thought he was going to kiss me again but instead he plunged his hand into the water and pulled out more fish. I’m no expert but I know one of them was a Salmon, and a pretty big one at that. And I think there was a rainbow trout and something else sort of blue? We carried on eating and cooking and eating and cooking for hours. The time weirdness means I have no idea how long we were there or how many I ate at this point, but looking at the both of us we were both much bigger. I don’t know if it’s part of the atmosphere or I genuinely ate that much but there it was.  My own belly was enormous. Way bigger than I had been in the diner. His gut was spectacular. Round and hairy and now totally free from his shirt. Bear in mind he was nearly 8 feet at this point.

He reached over and tenderly began to massage my own swollen stomach. His hands, surprisingly gentle, but firm. I closed my eyes and relaxed and basically let him do what he wanted to me. All of my senses seemed to be heightened, every little touch was like a wave of ecstasy flowing across my skin. His smell was heady, strong and potent and filling my nostrils. Eventually, I realised he’d gone but I stayed there for a little while longer. Partly because it was so beautiful but also partly because I could hardly move. 

I pulled myself to my feet, hauling my cantilevered belly up. It was still self supporting and jutting straight out from me into the air. I wished there was a mirror somewhere so I could have seen it properly. I saw an opening in the wall near the waterfall so I followed it through into a darker and more narrow part of the maze. The walls were closer than before and there were a few parts where I was worried I might not get through with my newly ballooned gut. After a while I started to smell the aromatic smell of cooking pork which made me instantly hungry again. I followed the smell and found three doors with a riddle written above it. I can’t remember the riddle but it was something about liars and guessing the way. You can probably guess that I’m not the smartest guy, I’m not dumb, but when it comes to stuff like riddles I’m out. My belly was rumbling loud at this point too so I was distracted. I decided to just listen at each of the doors. Door one I could hear a whistling noise which I reckoned was some sort of drop. Door two was a distinct growling snore. Although Aster was super stuffed I was pretty sure it wasn’t him asleep, and having met some of these guys I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a cute teddy bear behind there! I approached door three and had a listen. I could just about hear a sizzling sound and with the smell of pork I couldn’t handle it so I threw the door open. I wasn’t disappointed! 

The room was a small stone cell with a fire pit sunk in the bottom. On top of it was a decently sized pig on a spit. I couldn’t see Aster so I stepped in gingerly. The door closed behind me and as I turned it dissolved into the wall. There was no way out. I stepped into the room and looked into the shadows at the edges.  And there he was, taller than ever. As he stepped out into the light of the fire I could see he’d changed more. The first thing I noticed were the horns that had now sprouted from the top of his head. They weren’t massive but they were slightly curved and protruding from his thicker hair. The hair wasn’t just thicker on his head either. He’d now taken off his shirt and I could see the extent of it. He was pretty much covered in thick black hair all over his arms and sides. Virtually the only skin visible was across his bloated sphere of a belly. And that had a decent covering all along the bottom of the curve stretching up to a thick happy trail that snaked up to his hairy pierced pecs. The thick gold chain connects to his medallion. 

He spoke with a deep gravelly voice that I could literally feel in my feet. He told me under no circumstances was there to be any pork left before we left this place. Under any other situation I would have laughed. The pig had to be 200 lbs of meat. That would literally have taken any normal person a few weeks to eat. But here, with him, I knew right there that we would do it. I was apprehensive to think about how much my stomach would distend after that but I knew that whatever this place was it would be ok. I walked up to him and put my hands firmly on the sides of his thick belly and looked up. He looked down at me and bent his head to kiss me on the lips again. I smiled and sighed with contentment. Something special was about to happen. 

He pulled back and handed me a sharp knife, and took out one of his own and cut a slab of meat. The juices were rubbing down his arm. He pulled off the crackling and greedily began to eat it, crunching and swallowing it down. He offered me the meat and I eagerly opened my mouth to receive it. It tasted even better than it smelt and within minutes the whole slab had disappeared into me. We continued to feed one another the pork for a while, taking it in turns to slice off large chunks of flesh and sharing the delicious meat. We were soon covered in the stuff, our bellies continuing their rapid expansions. As we progressed, instead of slowing down we began to speed up. We even abandoned the knives and took to simply ripping off our next portions and guzzling down our haul. He fed me and I fed him and we ate ourselves. The boundaries of reality slipped away as we gorged on the meal together. (Yes I know that sounded a bit twatty but that’s how it felt. How many pigs have you shared with a fucking Minotaur?)

We didn’t take any breaks in our gluttony, the pig simply ended up inside both of us. I’d guess Aster ate more, simply because he is a good few feet taller than me but I didn’t notice him actually eating more. By the time the pig was reduced to bones we were both insanely swollen. My own gut was packed so big I couldn’t see anything else when I looked down. The skin tightly stretched over the vast quality of food it held inside itself. If I thought for a second about how much food I contained I’m not sure my brain could handle it. I looked like someone had slipped an air compressor up my arse and turned it on for a good half an hour. Physics had to be different in there because there was no way I’d have been able to stand up without some supernatural help. Looking at Aster, he was the same. Comically swollen, his huge abdomen surrounded by a sea of hair. The only difference between us is that you could still see some of his muscle definition.  The power and strength he contained was tangible when you looked at his animal-like frame. 

Covered in grease and bits of food we sat back admiring each other's new size. I wanna keep the story a touch modest, but he was clearly aroused by our efforts. I won’t go into details because I never kiss and tell, but fuck me he was a big boy! I’m glad there was magic in the site because after what we did next I could have ended up in hospital! 

After we had, erm, cuddled, we lay back with our heads next to one another. Our engorged stomachs stuck high into the air, solid and packed with food, unyielding in their size and volume. We stayed for a period of time and chatted about our lives. Aster clearly wasn’t wanting this to be a one off encounter. He was surprisingly affectionate and romantic for a half man half bull. He wanted to know all about me and my life and what my plans for the future were. It was such a tender moment I could have stayed there forever but Aster had one more plan up his sleeve. He pulled himself up easily and offered me a hand to help me up. I just about managed to get to my feet, helped by his superhuman strength I assume! Kissing me again he led me by the hand into the shadows where we found a new door. Fortunately, it was a double door as neither of us would have fit through anything smaller at this stage. We walked into a vast cavernous space. I didn’t think it was possible but it was even more beautiful than the underwater lagoon where we ate the fish. The glowing insects were back and this time other glowing creatures joined them. Small colourful lizards darted from rock to rock making patterns in the water that filled half the floor. Several smaller waterfalls fed this one, each framed by cascades of glowing plants with brightly shining flowers falling down.  Alongside the water was a long banqueting table covered with food. There were golden bowls and plates full of oversized fruits and bread. Huge slabs of roasted meats and wheels of cheese. At the end there appeared a large ornately decorated cornucopia which seemed to be the source of the food. Aster led me to the table and sat us both down in large oversized thrones. We’d made it to the centre of the labyrinth!

As we sat down, our swollen bellies resting on our legs I realised he had plans to carry on eating. Whatever magic was present meant I definitely felt hungry but there was no way I could physically move to get the food. I was practically pinned down underneath the sheer ridiculous size of my own belly. I was about to say this to Aster when I heard something move in the water. I looked across to see six men emerge from the water. I say men, we both know they weren’t that. If I had to guess I would say they were some sort of water nymphs? They had a pale bluey green tinge to their skin which had a faint shimmer to it as well. They were lithe and incredibly beautiful, their muscles and sinews visible underneath their skin. Their tight shorts left very little to the imagination and their eyes looked as hungry as I felt. They were here to feed us. 

I don’t know whether we were there for a few days or weeks or months. The food from the cornucopia kept coming and we kept eating. Non stop gorging, all enabled by the blue dudes. Their dexterous long fingers feeding us food and massaging our swelling bellies. We both ended up the size of trucks, our inhumanly swollen bellies stretching way past what was physically or morally possible. 

At some point we were done and we were pushed or rolled to the edge of the water. I slipped in and sank heavily to the bottom. Whether I was magically able to breathe underwater or whether I somehow didn’t need to breathe, I’m not sure, but Aster and I were able to move freely under the water. We swam for a while through caverns and caves, snaking away from the maze. When we surfaced we found ourselves on a small island just off the coast of the town. Away from the magical influence of the labyrinth, Aster was back to his more human form and his belly was vastly reduced but still clearly swollen. I was the same, my belly was huge, but it at least was obeying the laws of physics. Again, I don’t want to make the story any more r-rated than it needs to be so let’s say we spent some time with each other there. We needed some time to digest and recover as well. 

Friends, I don’t know whether what happened was a dream or some sort of vision, but I do know I’ve gained 50lbs in a few days. I have a very definite and prominent ball belly now, which I’m not unhappy about. I also have a new boyfriend. Unlike Obi, Aster was happy to stick around, so I do know that something happened. I don’t really want to ask too many questions from Aster because I don’t really mind if it was real or not. I know he’s here and I know we ate a shit ton of food and I know he’s not going anywhere

For the rest of my stories click here

[gin-juice-tonic]

I've been thinking a lot about gender identity and stuff lately, but to my shame I’m not the most educated person when it comes to lgbt related stuff. Every time I try to search it to learn more I end up freaking out and clearing my browsing history because of the feeling of being watched. I know I’m being unreasonable, but it’s stronger than me. I don’t have anyone to ask about this kind of stuff. Everyone around me is negative about lgbt, I grew up among this negativity. I’m afraid to ask my online friends because I don’t want to seem ignorant or stupid. What have I decided to do? Send an anonymous ask to a stranger about my concerns (sorry about that), whose blog helped me to accept the fact that I might not be who I though I was at the first place. It feels more safe. Back to the point.

As a teen I used she/they pronouns and a different gender-neutral name online for years. I still do it as an adult and now I realise that “she” was more like a compromise for me because it was what I used to be referred as for my whole life, but didn’t feel quite comfortable with. So it’s they/them for me, I guess. Okay. I’ve always preferred to not be related to any gender, but now I see that there’s more to it. I might be a nonbinary, but what if I’m actually an agender? I also consider the possibility of being a genderfluid because one moment I wear a dress and think that it looks good, and the other moment I cry in front of a mirror because of the idea of wearing it. So yeah, it depends on my mood. I don’t know how it works. I’m just so confused. The only thing I know that I’m not comfortable with being referred to as a female anymore. I’ve never really been.

Admittedly, as someone who is binary trans, I do not have a lot of knowledge in this area. I do know what it’s like to not know what you’re “supposed to be” though. And I know it can be frustrating and scary to be lost in trying to figure out your own identity. 

I asked some of my friends, who are nonbinary and genderfluid themselves, and the first thing we all have to say is you should allow yourself more kindness. I am sorry that you grew up around so much negativity. But I want you to know that it’s both okay to feel afraid but also okay to not know everything. If a friend is going to treat you badly for asking questions, they’re not a very good friend. 

One of my friends says the part you said about “making compromises” resonated a lot with them a lot, so you aren’t alone there. As for how you feel in a dress, clothes do not equal gender. You can like how you look in a dress without any of it having to do with girl-ishness. I suggest you try to think about why you like it when you do, and why you don’t when you don’t. My friends also suggested trying other clothes you can express yourself with. Think about why you like them, or why you don’t like them. (Of course, sometimes the answer has nothing to do with gender. I like athletic clothing because they make me look sporty, which is a neutral thing. But it’s good to know what parts aren’t related to gender at all too.) That extends beyond clothes too, any part of your presentation that you think you can play with without getting yourself into danger, you should. 

It’s tempting to feel like you have to scramble to figure out a label. Especially when advice and other people you can talk to can feel sort of “grouped” under them. And there’s a lot of knowledge to be gained that way for sure. But there’s a lot of knowledge to be gained just in figuring out what you do and don’t like. What makes you feel bad, what makes you feel at ease, what makes you super excited. You‘ve got it nailed down that you don’t like being called a female, that’s not a bad start! 

If your friends are people you think are good and kind, I would suggest reaching out to them so that you can explore things a little more with them, considering they know you better than I would. I know it's scary, but there's nothing wrong with not knowing things, and I hope they'd be aware of that too. And even if you call yourself something now and explore more into it, there's no harm if in the future it doesn't fit so good. There's no wrong way to be a gender, and more importantly there's no wrong way to be you.

[bengiyo]

Why Do I Tag So Many Creators in My Posts? It’s About Respect

Earlier today I was talking with @sophsloveskpop in the notes of a post, and was asked about all of the interaction between blogs in the posts and essays about the shows. I’ve noticed an uptick in new names interacting with posts (and making great posts of their own!) and wanted to talk about why I do it and why I like fandom on Tumblr.

Fundamentally, I think it’s generally good courtesy to acknowledge when someone else has expressed a similar idea to your, or an idea that intrigues you. I think it’s best to tag that person and link to their post so that others can also experience it. It also opens you up to a dialogue with them and others.

People Like Getting Their Flowers

If someone posts an analysis or even a quirky idea that I felt the need to think about, I will mention them in my posts. None of the great content we get on here is necessarily quick to make. I absolutely love all of the gifmakers who fight against Photoshop, Tumblr, and God Himself to post snippets of shows on here for us. I wouldn’t be able to flesh out some of my posts, illustrates points, or otherwise breakup walls of text without @liyazaki, @wanderlust-in-my-soul, @pharawee, or @gabrielokun. Whenever I can’t find the gif I’m looking for through Tumblr’s terrible gif search, I reach out to one of them for permission to use their gifs directly.

Also, many of us just like being acknowledged that someone we wrote meant something to someone else. Every time I get tagged by someone in an essay I’m like:

It’s a Conversation

I don’t think fandom is about being the smartest person or the most correct person. My basic framework I’m writing from is Black Gay Nerd Who Watches a Lot of Stuff. It’s what I’m most familiar with personally, and I find that people have really responded to that.

I’ve been around for a very long time, and have been seeing folks like @so-much-yet-to-learn around the entire time, who often has more specific information about fandom life during the airing of shows. @absolutebl and @heretherebedork have watched more BL than I have, and I’ve seen at least 250 productions. ABL has some of the most comprehensive posts collecting some of the history.

I made so many friends after diving into @shortpplfedup DMs to talk about sustainable urbanism and bonding over our shared geography. Now we run @the-conversation-pod together. Through them I befriended so many others, like @elnotwoods and @kyr-kun-chan.

I’m not a color theory expert, and so I love reading posts from @respectthepetty and others (I think @sliceduplife writes about color too).

We wouldn't even have my favorite show without @isaksbestpillow.

I know what shows are coming because of @clairificusrex.

I don’t know much about music theory, but @iguessitsjustme write some great stuff about the music in these shows.

I don’t always read the body language of hands as closely as someone like @wen-kexing-apologist might.

I am not Asian, and so I like reading from @waitmyturtles, @telomeke-bbs, and @neuroticbookworm. I know that @recentadultburnout and @airenyah offer useful perspective on Thai language.

Sometimes folks are going to narrow down on specific shows and consistently write about them for years on side blogs like @miscellar.

Some people have studied so much and bring specific academic lenses to the genre that I find compelling, like @emotionallychargedtowel.

In many cases, I just vibe with them really hard, like @ginnymoonbeam.

I actually didn’t always post as much as I do, but I try to keep up my Stray Thoughts project so that people can keep track of what I’m watching. I used to write less meta, but then I befriended @waitmyturtles and @lurkingshan. Any time I say anything remotely thoughtful Shan is like:

Also, though, this is Tumblr! It’s easy to tag each other and link to each other’s posts! This is what makes us different from every

Isn’t It Just More Fun?

I don’t enjoy shows passively. I grew up in a family that watched things together. My mom, dad, sister, and I all have differing tastes from each other, but we watched a lot of different things together. My friends and I discussed the things we watched at school.

I’m a big fan of the water cooler approach to TV show distribution, which basically says you want your show to be the show people are talking about on their breaks at work. I always like Film Crit Hulk’s theory that movies (and our dramas) are the proverbial campfires around which we gather to share ourselves with each other.

This is all supposed to be fun, and I have more fun when we interact. I get tagged daily by @blmpff about updates from sets, or when we all need to rush to IG to make sure Fluke Pongsakorn doesn’t cut his hair. When @bl-bam-beyond makes a new set or post they let me know, and they recently rewatched Noah’s Arc! I made friends with @gillianthecat in the last year or so, and it’s been fun seeing her make her way through fandom. I always get excited with @troubled-mind pings me in a post because I know it’s going to give me something to chew on. I didn’t have a genuine appreciation for kink culture until I watched along with @lutawolf. If something funny is happening in fandom I know @benkaaoi is going to tag me. I still get excited when @heukheuk pops up in my mentions.

I know I’ve probably forgotten so many people alone the way here, and I’m sorry if I didn’t mention you.

Tag Because It’s the Right Thing to Do

So seriously, tag people and link to their posts. Try to use the giffmakers specific tags when you’re using the search feature. Fandom is better when we all interact respectfully and enthusiastically with each other. Tumblr is special because it lets us create goofy little essays like this and tag dozens of people just to get their attention.

If you have a cool thought about a show I’m watching, tag me. If you see something funny, tag me in the comments. If you wanna hash out an idea before posting it, DM me. This is Tumblr. Don’t be shy with your thoughts. It’s okay to be wrong on the internet. It’s actually fun to be wrong on the internet about show predictions!

Thank you as always for coming to my post.

[ripeteeth]

Hi! I hope this isn't too random or intrusive, but I discovered your blog recently due to coming across your post about reading Frankenstein when I was searching a book ask meme tag. I really enjoyed reading your thoughts about the books you like and I found I shared quite a few of your tastes and opinions as well (eg. I wasn't a big fan of Love in the Time of Cholera or Neil Gaiman's solo writing either, I really love grotesquely interesting and oddly pretty stories like Perfume).

please don't feel any pressure to answer this if you'd rather not, but I was wondering if you had any other books to recommend or talk a bit about that have really stuck with you? I'm also curious about how you usually find more good books for your future reading list – if you have any tips or advice you could share Thank you! ♡

Hi! I’m always down to talk about books I love or loathe! There’s so much out there in terms of grotesque beauty, so to speak!

I worked in a bookstore all throughout college, so I had a ton of resources there in being connected to other book lovers and had the pure luck to spend thousands of hours shelving books and having so many titles pass through my hands. Many of my favorites are here because something about the cover or summary intrigued me while I was reshelving it or finding it for someone (or pulling it during zoning to return to the publisher if it hadn’t sold). If you have a good used bookstore near you, I HIGHLY recommend just taking time to wander through and just look for something weird! Something that catches your attention, even if you can’t put your finger on why. Ask the booksellers there if they have any recommendations - I’ve rarely met a bookseller that didn’t have an opinion or five about good books to share.

I also had the benefit of having a very book-centric family, especially my mom. She’s my best friend and she introduced me to so many incredible titles, like The Stranger, Jane Eyre, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle-Stop Cafe, Lolita, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Anna Karenina, Murder on the Orient Express, and the collected hijinks of Jeeves and Wooster. So many of the books I read are ones she recommends!

Beyond that and recommendations from friends, I tend to pick up books from following publishers. Right now I’m obsessed with reading publications by the New York Review of Books and Fitzcarraldo Editions, both of which publish incredibly high-quality writing from authors I’ve usually never heard of. A lot of these books are either experimental or have never been translated into English before (or haven’t been published in decades). I really tend to just go through their catalogs and grab a book at random and I haven’t had a miss yet. Right now from NYRB, I’m reading Mourning A Breast, a memoir of living with breast cancer by Hong Kong writer Xi Xi, and I have Vasily Grossman’s Leningrad on deck. From Fitzcarraldo, I recently loved Drive Your Plow Over The Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk and am going to start Hurricane Season by Fernanda Melchor soon.

Right off the top of my head, based on the few you referenced here such as Perfume and Frankenstein, I’d recommend:

Grendel - John Gardner

Along with Frankenstein, this is probably my all-time favorite book. It’s a fascinating retelling of Beowulf, all from Grendel’s point-of-view. It’s lush but in that way of undergrowth and decay, and Gardner leans into Grendel’s wretchedness and monstrosity, letting it sing. He’s not interested in rehabilitating a monster, but in giving this pathetic creature a voice. I have a deep love of retellings that move the viewfinder and give the reins to a side character or villain. (Though I admit I haven’t liked many of the recent releases in this vein. They give me the crawling sensation that they were written because it became popular, not because the author had an interest in the story or characters, which is perfectly valid - hey, it’s a capitalist hellscape we all live in, no shame in getting paid - but those aren’t the books I enjoy.)

Crash - J.G. Ballard

This is a weird one. A wonderfully messy, fucked-up weird one where the heartbeat of the story is about psychosexual car crash fetishes. Cronenberg made it into a film in 1995 and the fact that Cronenberg made a movie about it at all should tell you everything you need to know.

A Good Man Is Hard To Find and Other Stories - Flannery O’Connor

If you like dark and oddly beautiful, nothing fits that criteria more than Flannery O’Connor. Something heavy and somber hovers over her work. A sense of dread. Dry grasses. Revival tents. The dead eyed stare of a preacher. A fire you cannot escape.

[A list of recs below the cut]

A few others that come to mind as titles you may enjoy, though I can’t quite put my finger on why. These are all beautifully written, fascinating, and many are uncomfortable in the precise way I like fiction to leave me feeling.

Cassandra - Christa Wolf

The Dwarf - Par Lagerkvist

Hunger - Knut Hamsun

Solenoid - Mircea Cǎrtǎrescu

We Have Always Lived In The Castle - Shirley Jackson

Rashomon and Other Stories - Ryunosuke Akutagawa

The Passion - Jeanette Winterson

Shadow and Claw - Gene Wolfe

Dancing Lessons for the Advanced in Age - Bohumil Hrabal

Voices From Chernobyl - Svetlana Alexievich (Proof that non-fiction can be poetic and haunting)

Just Kids - Patti Smith

A Map To The Door of No Return - Dionne Brand

This Way For the Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen - Tadeusz Borowski

The Street of Crocodiles - Bruno Schulz

Lote - Shola von Reinhold

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous - Ocean Vuong

Autobiography of Red - Anne Carson

Labyrinths - Jorge Luis Borges

If on a winter’s night a traveler - Italo Calvino

2666 - Roberto Bolaño

The Name of the Rose - Umberto Eco

The Pearl Diver - Jeff Talarigo

Beyond The Gates - Molly Gloss

Oryx and Crake - Margaret Atwood

Self-Help and Other Stories - Lorrie Moore

The Historian - Elizabeth Kostova

Get In Trouble: Stories - Kelly Link

Piranesi - Susanna Clarke

Consent - Vanessa Springora

Medea - Christa Wolf

Simple Passion - Annie Ernaux

[darumi-amemiya]

DARUMI_HEADCANONS_V2.EXE

Here we go again!!

I just am having a good day today! A lot like Darumi, the constant gloomy rain today has me pumped! I’ve been gorging myself on a lot of spooky/dark subject matter lately, too! Though honestly that’s my everyday, I’m kinda desensitized to a lot of stuff because of it. Guess that’s why I relate to Darumi so much!

HC 1: Darumi has a website of her own, and it’s considered a denpa site because of what she posts on it.

I think Darumi’s the type that people stereotype as ‘chronically online’. She’s an otaku, she’s a menhera, she probably engages with a lot of the stuff on the Japanese ‘do not search’ list…

Darumi probably runs a blog talking about her day to day life while writing down all her emotions and whatnot. She posts on the mental health boards often, talking about how frustrating it is to have such intense emotions and have nobody else understand WHY they are so intense. She signs all of her posts with 💀🔪, if she can get away with it.

I think she ABSOLUTELY has a neocities, or a Japanese equivalent!! She has one with autoplay music and fun music. It’s bright and flashy and even though she LOVES eyestrain. It isn’t really the most accessible website, honestly, what with the flashing colors and loud sounds… But it’s SUPER stimulating for her and she loves it!!

HC 2: Darumi is wearing a sweater on top of her typical clothes.

This is less ‘theory’ or ‘headcanon’, and more just an observation! Watch this be SUPER WRONG and it’s a headcanon anyway.

In the CG where she jumps out to greet Gaku, we see what I assume to always be present under the sweater: a sailor school uniform top with no ribbon, a white breast pocket, two instances of bandage-wrapped forearms, and a cute little pink wrist accessory. I kinda wanna guess it’s a scrunchie, but it’s never seen in her hair so I don’t know what it actually is besides maybe a wristband.

The outfit is similar colors to the hemoanima outfit, but it IS still different from it! Short sleeves, no gaping stab wound, all of that! Interestingly, though… She also kind of looks like some of her makeup is off, similar to her usual hemoanima appearance.

If it’s an art error, then they might’ve been given the wrong direction for the art in this case. If it isn’t an art error, and she actually has different outfits throughout the game, it makes me wonder if the other students have alternative looks as well. It’d be neat if Darumi and the others had summer and winter looks!

Imagine it starts in winter, but over the course of the game you get closer to summer and the like! I don’t know if you’d realistically get there in 100 days… If that’s too much of a spread, then maybe she changes outfits for the spring?

It’d be cool if she did, honestly! I think it’d be cute to see her in this design! The makeup just under her eye kind of resembles a 2, I wonder why that is. It’s probably just partial exposure and lighting and stuff.

HC 3: Darumi is a goodie-goodie deep down!

I think it’d be interesting if Darumi Amemiya, under all of the confusion and misconceptions of others, is actually a pretty sweet girl who’s constantly looking out for everyone else. She’s just… an odd girl, and the things that make HER happy aren’t the same as the things that make OTHER PEOPLE happy.

In one fan-translated exchange between her and Takumi, it’s suggested she’s trying to lighten his mood by… shouting at him that they should die together!

As we all know, my homegirl Darumi is RIDICULOUSLY mentally unwell and has 99 different diseases.

Joking aside, just from that exchange (and a friendly convo with another Hundred Line blog!!) I got the impression that under all of the chaos Darumi is a very sweet and kind girl. Much like Pinkie Pie, she cares deeply about others’ morale and their feelings. She probably wants to make EVERYONE happy, but her version of happiness and the others’ version of happiness are two very different things.

HC 4: Darumi likes learning new things, and performs well academically!

Another self-indulgent one because I think it’s cute! Darumi Amemiya LOVES going to school, she has a few select favorite classes that she enjoys attending, and even her bullies can’t get her down when it comes to her favorite classes.

She loves Biology, History, and Japanese classes! She struggles in Math, and is well-known around school for breaking down sobbing when things don’t go well when it comes to stuff like grades or tests.

Her parents are loving, but they’ve long since stopped expecting too much out of Darumi because of her many, many issues. So, to give them something to be proud of… She does her best in school!

HC 5: Darumi loves umami and sweet foods!!

Darumi considers an excellent meal to be microwaved chicken ramen!! She’s told this to people before and they look at her as if she’s holding a gun to their heads. Savory and umami foods make her mouth water, and she’ll leap at the chance to eat meat, even if it’s raw!! (She… does not do well with raw meat, obviously. Girl can get really, really sick!!)

Darumi’s favorite type of candy is cotton candy, and her parents once bought her an at-home cotton candy making machine for kids as a gift! She likes trying to make konpeito cotton candy… but she’ll never share if she got it working! She likes to keep the mystery alive!

[everettes-requiem]

welcome to everettes-requiem 𓆝

i am always feeding them the ugliest parts of me

an ask blog for lotf oc, everette ainsworth, managed by kuni! inbox? OPEN!

hullo guys, it’s about time i made a new introduction post! and so, here it is! if you don’t know who i am, then hi!! as mentioned earlier i’m kuni, a 16 yr old they/them with an adoration for lotf and most of all, my lotf oc!

but that’s probably not what you’re here for, a boring little introduction of me. this is named everettes-requiem after all, so you must be here for information pertaining the ask blog and everette!

well look no further! under the cut is all the necessary information you need to know, including and most importantly, the rules that you should read over.

CONTENT WARNING!

prefacing this by saying this ask blog will deal with some serious and heavy topics. if any of these trigger you then it's best not to interact with this blog for your safety, or re end of this section if you still do decide to look through my stuff! these topics include:

religious trauma

suicidal thoughts

internalized homophobia

neglect

emotional and mental abuse

violence

death

slight gore / blood

everything will be trigger warned and content warned appropriately! so if you still do want to go through my account, then just watch out for those, they will often be at the top of posts in bold. i want everyone to be safe, so be careful, thank you!

ABOUT THE BLOG + TAGS

everettes-requiem used to only serve as my oc blog, but now that my main is gone, it also serves as my own account to reblog and comment and reply to things out of character! aka just me, kuni!

i will always let people know whether it’s me who’s talking, or whether it’s everette who’s responding! i usually do so i using an em dash and typing out either name, for example

— everette ainsworth

— KUNI !!

even so, there’s a lot of stuff to sift through on my account and there’s bound to be more to come! that’s why i’ve compiled a list of tags that you can search in order to navigate my account properly, in which i will sort all my posts shortly. these tags include:

#everette answers

#pre island

#on island

#post island

#lore

#everette funfact

#kuni talks

#kuni reblogs

#kuni draws

#highschool au

#ainsley!

everettes-requiem currently is sticking to answering asks. thus, there is no set story, at least not one that has enough revealed about it yet. meaning, content will be non-linear and is based on the content of the ask. however, in the near future, i promise things will answer themselves.

for now though, like i said, the ask blog will be mostly answering asks! it’ll also involve sending asks to other accounts, and also responding to other accounts that aren’t just asks! here and there, there will be posts that reveal bits of everette's backstory, and of course some shitposts too for fun!

ASKS/RULES

while this is an everette blog, other lotf characters are also open for asks, as long as the ask has some sort of relation to everette. other ocs can also interact with everette, they are more than welcome!

addtionally, i'd say that more serious or darker asks are allowed. lotf itself is a book with darker subjects. though of course, there are some rules that should be followed.

1. be patient. you should ask as many asks as you'd like, i encourage it! but please dont send the same one multiple times. i have a life outside of my blogs and asks will be answered as quickly as they can.

2. do not be discriminatory (ableism, racism, transphobia, etc) please leave this blog if you are discriminatory because we do not want you here!

3. this goes without saying but no nsfw asks. lotf is a book full of twelve year olds at the most and everette himself is a young minor. it's just plain gross.

other than that the blog is yours to ask whatever you'd like! this place is welcome to anybody and anyone really.

now i know that was a lot to read through but thank you if you did stick to the end! now go interact with everette!! no promises you'll like the response, but i hope it'll still be fun for you guys 𓆝⋆˚

[cosmicjoke]

Hello :)

I’ve seen you write essay-like long posts about Attack on Titan and analyzing this complex story in depth, which I love. For me personally, it’s been a long while since I watched it and I currently don’t have the time to rewatch it. But I think it’s a story that has to be experienced at least twice to fully understand it, because the story isn’t told linearly and having certain things in mind while watching earlier scenes reframes everything.

Someday I’m gonna do just that. But until I can, I’m going to rely on your takes and my fuzzy memory of the events to feed my hunger for “food for thought”. Even though it’s been so long, I still can’t stop thinking about the story, as there’s just so much to unpack. With that in mind, could you (only if you have the time and the willingness to do so, of course) give your detailed opinion on as to WHY Eren felt like he had to do the horrible things he did?

It’s obvious, especially from the last conversation he had with Armin in the anime, that he does KNOW that what he did was morally wrong. So why then, did he still do it? That’s what I can’t wrap my head around. The reasons for his actions.

Like, even if it was due to his innate, selfish desire for freedom, it’s still obvious that he knew it would lead to his death. He had the power to stop the remaining scouts from killing him, he could have used his titan powers to stop them, but he didn’t. In that conversation scene with Armin, it seemed like he knew his own death was inevitable. So why didn’t he prevent that? What was the point of flattening the earth for his idea of freedom if he doesn’t stick around to see the results of his actions? Was it actually his plan to rid the world of the titans? I discussed his with a friend who said Eren did everything because “it was the only outcome he saw among all the possible outcomes that would get rid of the titan powers — because only in a world without titan powers can the Eldian people actually be free.”

But Eren did so many things that were detrimental to the Eldians, individual and as a whole, like in the raid on Liberio, where he not only killed innocent Eldians, but also made the world actively hate Paradis, that it seems to me he didn’t actually do it for the sake of the Eldians

(Though my friend would argue that Eren saw every possible future and there simply isn’t a future where his goal is achieved without hurting at least some Eldians. And that his version, while hurting some, still hurt the least of them. But that just doesn’t sit right with me.) But again, if he actually did do it for selfish reasons, which is what I’m leaning towards, then why would he be alright with dying, aka giving up on his self? Trying to understand that dude just frustrates me, so I thought maybe you could shed some light on this with your theories on him.

(I’m on anon to help keep toxic Eren fanatics off my back and I don’t have the balls to deal with them, lol.)

Hi there, and thank you for the ask!

I've talked a lot about Eren and his motivations on my blog, which you can probably find if you just search his name on my blog. But I'll give it my best shot answering here as well.

First off, I'll just say that the way you're leaning is the right way. Eren didn't do what he did for anyone but himself, and that's sort of the point of his entire character. The theme of dreams and needing to be able to let go of them is a pronounced one in AoT, and Eren, in the end, is the purest example of someone who wasn't able to do so, and that ties into his lack of maturity. He never progresses past his childish whims or desires. He never grows up. That's why we see him appear as a child during the Rumbling. Because that's who he really is and who's he's always been. The Rumbling itself is a manifestation of Eren's truest nature and desires.

Second, your friend is wrong about the "possible futures" Eren sees. Eren doesn't see multiple futures. He only sees one future, which is the only future. People don't get how time works in AoT, which is understandable. Anytime you're dealing with time travel, it gets confusing. I didn't get it at first myself. But basically, the only reason Eren sees the future he does is because it's the only future there is. If there was some other possibility, some other course he took, he wouldn't have seen the future he did at all. It only exists because he literally willed it into being. We see this through the course of Eren's actions in manipulating past events, once he gains control of the Founding Titan's powers. He literally manipulates events to ensure he'll end up with the power to commit the Rumbling. The way he manipulates Grisha into killing Frieda and taking her power, the way he redirects Dina's Titan away from Bertolt to eat Eren's own mother, setting off the events which will lead to him gaining the power to wipe out humanity. Eren very literally orchestrates the events which lead to the future he saw. So there are no multiple or possible futures for Eren to "choose from". There's just the one, and the one future he sees exists because what he does is what he was always going to do.

The point of us being shown the equally devastating results for the Eldian's as the rest of humanity is to drive home that what Eren is doing isn't to save the Eldian people at all, or even his friends. He's willing to murder the entire population of Eldian's outside of the Walls, which no doubt outnumbers the number of the island. He doesn't care. Sasha dying, Hange dying, Levi almost dying, etc... all of that is meant to drive home this point. Eren isn't doing it for them, or for anyone, other than himself. As he confesses to Ramzi, and then later to Armin, he "had to do it" because he "wanted to do it". He says to Ramzi, when he finds out that humanity existed beyond the Walls, that he was "so disappointed". He confesses this to him while sobbing, because what Eren is confessing here is that he wanted to destroy humanity beyond the walls to make it match his childish vision of what the world should have looked like beyond the Walls. He wanted it to look like the images in Armin's book, a vast, unexplored, untouched wilderness, just for him. And when he discovered humanity existed beyond the walls, it shattered that vision for him.

To answer your specific question about why Eren didn't stop his friends from stopping him, it comes down to Eren attempting to cope with his own monstrosity. Throughout the lead up to Eren's actions, and even during, Eren tries to cope with his own, monstrous nature by telling both himself and others that he's doing it "for them". He lies. He's lying to the rest of the 104th when he tells them, before they leave for Marley, that he just wants to protect all of them. He was already planning on betraying all of them. He was already working with Floch at that point, in coordination with Yelena and Zeke. He'd already told Historia his real plans, to betray Zeke and enact a full scale Rumbling, this fully 9 months before they ever left for Marley. The Scouts success or failure to negotiate with Marley had nothing to do with Eren's decision. He'd already decided what he was going to do before they ever set foot there. Eren's depression as he's walking around Marley and thinking to himself that none of these people are his enemy, his realization that all of these people are innocent, is because, confronted with that reality, he's no longer able to hide behind the excuse of protecting his friends or the island from an impending threat. He realizes, in that moment, that the future he sees, that him unleashing a full scale Rumbling, is purely the result of his own, selfish desire. Which, again, is to create the world he saw in Armin's book, his own, personal idea of freedom. We see Eren continue to drink the copium though, even after this point. For example, when he grabs Hange through the bars of his cell and screams at her that he saw no other choice because of her supposed failure to come up with a real solution. Pure deception, both of Hange and himself. Eren never even gave Hange's plan to negotiate a chance. He disappeared and kicked off his plans with Zeke before anyone from the Scouts had a chance to even attempt negotiations. And this, too, is why Eren doesn't attempt to stop the Alliance from stopping him. It's a giant cope. Eren tells himself and them that he's not going to stop them because freedom is the most important thing to him, and that he loves and cares about all of them too much to impede on their freedom of choice. Again, this is a lie on Eren's part. He's already impeded on their freedom, multiple times, particularly in his forcing them to rescue him from Liberio and backing them into a corner, taking away their choice, by forcing them to accept his and Zeke's plan and forcing them into a conflict which they'd all expressed a desire to and were attempting to avoid. He tries to tell Historia that he's doing it for her, too, that he's just safeguarding her freedom, while in the same breath, disregarding Historia's already stated decision to inherit Zeke's Beast Titan.

The truth is, Eren doesn't care about anybody else's freedom but his own. Again and again, he impedes on and takes away the freedom of others, including his closest friends, all in service to realizing his own, personal sense of freedom. He tells them that he isn't stopping them from fighting him because he respects their freedom, but again, this is just a giant cope on Eren's part. He allows them to come after him because its his way of coping with his sense of guilt and self-loathing. The same way he continues to lie, up to the very end, when he tells all the members of the Alliance (except Levi, who I've posited Eren doesn't speak to at all), that he did what he did to "make them all into heroes". Another, giant cope. A lie he fabricates because he can't deal with any of them knowing the truth. He tells all of them this, but it's only Armin whom he confesses the truth to. He can't lie to his best friend, and that's why we see Eren tell Armin that he knew, from his vision of the future, that he would fail to wipe out all of humanity, and that because of it, he would only imperil his friends and the island further, because naturally, the world would want revenge for Eren's actions, and yet he still went through with it. Why? If he really cared so much about his friends or the rest of the Eldian people, why would he continue to go through with a plan that he knew would end up only endangering them further, would only continue the cycle of hate and war? Because, again, Eren never actually cared about any of that. All he cared about was experiencing his own, personal sense of freedom. He was so driven, and so compelled toward it, that even knowing he would fail, he couldn't help himself. Eren doesn't find out he's going to fail until Ymir lends him her power. He finds out he fails to wipe out all of humanity in that moment, and yet he pushes on in his actions. He could have stopped right then and there, before a single Wall Titan was unleashed, but he continues on. Again, because Eren is compelled by his very own, restless nature, to do what he did.

Eren is bored. That's what it boils down to. The scene near the beginning of the story, when we see Eren sitting, staring up at the sky, and he says "I wish something would happen"? That right there encapsulates the entirety of why Eren does what he does. He's doomed to be perpetually unsatisfied and bored with his existence. He had a good and happy life, and it wasn't enough. And wiping out all of humanity wouldn't have been enough, either. He convinced himself it would quench his thirst for freedom, but the reality for Eren is, nothing was ever going to achieve that for him. Again, his very nature renders it impossible. He's always dissatisfied, and always "wants something to happen". It's why he kills Mikasa's kidnappers. It's not because Eren cared about saving Mikasa (he didn't even know her at that point), it's because he wanted something to happen. Because he was bored. Eren could have easily listened to his father and waited for the proper authorities to come. The same way he could have allowed the Survey Corps to actually attempt negotiations before deciding he just "had to" enact the Rumbling, or he could have gone with Zeke's plan of a limited Rumbling. Again, it's not what Eren wanted, though, in either case. He wanted destruction, he wanted chaos, he wanted something to happen to disrupt and tear apart his mundane existence.

The shot of Eren standing atop his massive Attack Titan, near the end, with his arms spread wide and a look of pure elation on his face as he says "Freedom!", that's Eren getting to experience what he aimed to. The world is crushed and left desolated beneath him. Remember, Eren destroys 80% of the world's population, and that's enough for Eren to feel he's achieved what he set out to. To experience a desolate world free of humanity. But again, this is Eren coping. He's trying to immerse himself in the feeling of "freedom" as a way to distract himself from the horror and nightmare below. He finally feels what it's like to be in a world that looks like the pictures in Armin's book, but it's still not enough. It's never going to be enough. Eren realizes this. He gets to feel what it's like to be "totally free" from the expectations and demands of others, and yet he's still dissatisfied. It doesn't quell the restless dissatisfaction that defines Eren's core.

This leads into your last question, about why Eren doesn't stop the Alliance from killing him, so he can experience the results of his actions. Eren is already going to die. He knows his time is short, that he only has a few more years left to live at this point. Eren is compelled forward to enact the Rumbling, regardless of this, because again, he can't help himself. He's totally driven by his own desires. Again, up to the point Ymir lends him her power, Eren thinks he's going to succeed in destroying all of humanity. Upon realizing he won't, that his friends and comrades are going to stop him, he still feels that same drive and desire to go through with his plan anyway, again, because it's what he wants, it's the only thing he really wants, and nothing is going to stop him from trying to take it, even as he knows he won't succeed.

Eren loves his friends. He cares about them. He doesn't want to hurt them or endanger them. But as we see from his childhood on, Eren is someone who's always going to put his own desires above their well being. It's why we see him constantly getting into fights as a child, despite the burden it places on Mikasa, despite his mother asking him to stop. He forces Mikasa to chase after him and place herself into situations she doesn't want for herself, and Eren enacting the Rumbling and forcing the Alliance to chase after him is the exact same scenario, only writ large. He's forcing his friends to chase after him and try and stop him from causing trouble. Again, though, at the same time, Eren doesn't want to actually hurt them. He's so guilt ridden over Sasha and Hange because he knows his actions led to their deaths, and he never wanted that. But as ever, he couldn't help himself. He couldn't keep himself from putting his own desires over their well being. Again, Eren lets his friends come after him as a way to cope with the crushing guilt of his own, monstrous nature and actions. He doesn't stop them because it's his only way to sooth his inner turmoil, to tell himself he allowed them their freedom of choice.

But once again, the inherent contradiction in that is that Eren already took away their freedom of choice, and still continues to here, by forcing them into a situation not of their own choosing. He forces all of them to fight him to the death, despite having considered him a friend and comrade. He forces Mikasa to have to kill him, which goes against everything Mikasa herself ever truly wanted. He forces them all into a position of having to kill their own, former comrades who have become Yeagerists, something he specifically mentions to Armin at the end. He's still taking away their freedom, but he deludes himself into thinking otherwise by letting them come after him at all. He's able to do this because he still succeeds in achieving that supposed feeling of freedom he set out to gain. He's still able to experience "Freedom!", as he says, without stopping them. But all one has to do is look at Eren's actions before this, in the lead up to the Rumbling, to know that, had his friends and comrades actually threatened his ability in any way to get to this end point, he would have acted in whatever ways necessary to stop them. It's the reason he doesn't tell anyone about the vision of the future he had. Because he knows if he did, they would stop him. And if he had been willing to tell anyone of his vision, he would have seen a completely different vision, anyway. He would have seen a future in which his friends stop him from enacting the Rumbling at all. It's why he lies and distances himself from everybody. It's why he forces them into a conflict they'd all been trying so hard to avoid. It's why he makes Grisha kill Frieda and the entire Reiss family. It's why he kills his own mother. It's why he's able to accept Sasha dying, and Hange dying, and Levi almost dying. It's all in service to him gaining the power to enact the Rumbling, to make sure events unfold in the exact way he needs them to to get to that end point. He would have been willing to kill anyone to gain that power, the same way he was willing to kill all of humanity just to experience what he deluded himself into believing was true freedom. Once he has that power, he's able to enact his plan, and everything after that doesn't matter. His friends and comrades can come after him. They can do whatever they want. Because Eren already got what he wanted. He's already getting to live out his own desires, and once more, he's able to assuage his guilt by telling himself that he's allowing his friends the freedom to try and stop him.

Anyway, I hope this helps answer at least some of your questions. The only way to understand Eren's actions is to accept his selfish, childish nature, and how he was always going to do what he did, not because it was inevitable or because he had no other choice, but because it was what he wanted to do. Nothing was ever going to stop him from doing what he wanted.

[sailorsplatoon]

📌Pinned post

About me!

Hi! You can call me Lily, LilyMoon, sailorsplatoon, sailor, or whatver you want, idc.

My pronouns are she/they!

I am a minor (17 years old), so no NSFW interactions on my blog please.

I mostly post about Splatoon, but I also like Pokemon, Kirby, Pikmin, The Owl House, Amphibia, Gravity Falls, Sailor Moon, and a bunch of other stuff! Feel free to talk with me about those if you'd like!

You're welcome to tag me in anything! I don't really scroll at all, so if you want me to see something, it's best to tag me. I love getting tagged too!

About my blog!

This is primarily a Splatoon ask blog, and a lot of it is centered around shipping and my ocs, so feel free to send me an ask! I love seeing what you guys have to say! Also I recognize that my blog can be very difficult to understand if you don’t have all the lore, so if you have any questions about anything on the blog at all, just send them over and I’m happy to answer them!

I like all sorts of ships, but my OTP is Acht x Agent 4 (or dedfour as I like to call them). I post about them a lot. You can check the #dedfour and #acht x agent 4 tags on my blog if you’re curious what I’ve posted about them in the past!

But the ships don't stop there! I also post alot about Harmony x Acht x Agent 4, AKA p4ruf1sh. Now Harmony gets to join the lovebirds in a polycule! You can find more about that on the #p4ruf1sh tag!

And it keeps going! I post a lot of oc x canon stuff too, which you can find under the #oc x canon tag! Currently there’s Marie x Shina, Shiver x Birch, Frye x Elle (au exclusive), and Callie x Elita/Pepper. If you want to know more about a specific one, search my blog for a tag of the canon character.

Another one that I've talked about a little bit is a polycule QPR that I've been calling bittersweet pancake, it's between Captain 3, Agent 8, and Big Man. You can find those posts under the #bittersweet pancake tag!

All of the relationships also have children that I post about frequently, so here's a post with a short guide to all of them!

Where to find me!

I have an ao3 account that I post fan fiction on, I also post the same fanfic here on Tumblr!

Here’s my carrd if you want to know more about me (though it's mostly the same stuff that I wrote in this post).

I also have Twitter, but I’m not as active there as I am here.

My fanfiction!

I wanted to put a little list of all the fanfictions I've written so far! If you're curious, give them a read!

This Forgotten Melody is an Acht bacstory that just so happened to be the first fic I ever posted! As a result, it doesn't have a specific tag on my blog, nor is it in any way canon compliant... but you can find it on ao3!

Watch The Sky With You is the Dedfour fic that my blog is based around! You can find it on my tumblr under the tag #Watch the Sky With You, or you can read it on ao3!

I write a ton of very short oneshots on here too! I've archived all of them on ao3 if you're curious. All of these come from writing requests, so feel free to send one if you're interested!

Lastly, there is my ongoing fanfiction called An LED Light at the End of the Tunnel!!! This is an Agent 4 angst fic in which Four gets lonely enough to consider turning to the hypnoshades. New chapters come out every Friday!

Anyway thanks for checking out my blog! Bye!

[viharmons]

do you know where to get violet exacts? i mean, i want to collect her clothes but i live in europe, poland, to be specific, and besides ebay or depop i don’t know where to look because not all of the sites like poshmark work for me because they only ship to usa/canada from what i know, the only exacts i find are 100+ dollars which in my currency is like 400/500 pln and thats a lot so im really struggling here, i already have 600 pln saved up but if i get anything from depop it’ll all be gone in a minute :( so any sites recommendations where i can get some maybe a lil cheaper? because if this keeps going that way i might eventually need to sell my right arm and my liver lol

xoxo, love ur blog

thank you! anyway, i looked into it online and there aren't many options to buy secondhand clothing online in poland. therefore, i don't know any other sites that ship to poland. you can still use depop and ebay, but instead of searching “violet harmon”, or anything along the lines of that, you can try searching for the actual brand and name of an item. for example, “sheer floral henley free people” would probably work if you were searching for violet’s free people floral burnout henley. some people cluelessly sell exacts for really cheap, so you might get lucky. i’ve found a lot of exacts searching this way. i would also go to thrift stores in your town, as violet’s clothes are over a decade old, so you might actually find something. you can also use the image search feature on ebay by inserting an image of an item you want. it’ll show you results that look similar to the item you’re looking for, or even show results to the exact item. other than that, you can probably talk to depop and ebay sellers and ask them about international shipping. though, the shipping fees will probably be high. there really is no way around these expensive prices, at least not that i know of. sometimes you might have to make the sacrifice of spending a shitload of money. but don't be discouraged about it, there are tons of alternatives to violet’s clothes too, so if you want to look into that, you could probably find some nice things. i hope this helped a little bit. i tried my best. :,)

[futurequibblerjournalist]

hiii im a bit new to this blog... who are the characters Aurora and Charity?

Hiiii and welcome!

So Aurora and Charity are canon teachers at Hogwarts during the same time Severus teaches!

Aurora Sinistra is a teacher in the Astronomy department, she is a black woman and she attends the Yule Ball with Barty Crouch Jr disguised as Mad-Eye Moody and looks incredibly uncomfortable while doing so. These are the just about the canon things we know about her. She’s often headcanoned as a Ravenclaw in the same year as the marauders and she’s usually a very blunt character personality wise. She appears very confident in herself to outsiders though I personally like to make her a bit more uncertain of herself and also I headcanon her to be autistic!

Charity Burbage is a Muggle Studies teacher, the very same that gets abducted by Voldemort in I believe July 1997? She gets killed by Voldemort and fed to Nagini and her last words are something along the lines of “Severus, please, please” after she tries to remind him that they were/are friends and thus he should help her. This is just about all the canon information we get on her. In fanon she’s often portrayed as a somewhat ditzy, fun loving Hufflepuff who’s trying to appeal to the good sides of her mainly Slytherin friend group. Some portray her as muggleborn, though her wiki says she’s most likely a half-blood or a pureblood so I headcanon her to “pureblood” (pureblood father, half-blood mother).

They’re usually put in what’s commonly referred to as “Snape’s gang” which is a group of students, some of which we know canonically hung out with Severus. The group usually includes Charity, Aurora, Severus, Avery (I call him Edmund Avery Junior), Mulciber (I call him Bruce Mulciber Junior) and Wilkes (I call him Wilhelm). I also personally include Igor Karkarov in this group and partially Nott (I call him Tiberius Nott Junior, he would be the father of the Theordore Nott we see in Hari’s year).

There’s a handful of different ships for them. I think a lot of people commonly ship them together, though of the ships including them that you’ll see on my page will likely be starrynight (Severus/Aurora) or seabunny (Charity/Igor).

I recently did a long yap about Charity that you can find here and I’ve also talked about both her and Aurora a lot on here so if you search “Aurora Altair Sinistra” and “Charity Grace Burbage” on my profile you should be able to find me talking about them in one way or another!

If you’ve got any other questions feel free to send them my way!!