#I’ve started this show in September 2022?

[fancygremlin]

So, I was looking into deep pressure stimulation (DPS) and pressure stimming and I came across a website from which I took this screenshot:

I noticed that in the fandom (fanart and fanfics alike) Raph is the one that administers these tight hugs when Donnie needs them, and I am all for it. I love to think Donnie goes to him and asks directly for DPS when they are in the Lair and off mission.

However, I noticed that in the series Mikey is the one that constantly looks out for Donnies sensory needs. Whenever the softshell is shown to be in the middle of a stressful or high-stakes situation, and Mikey is within reach, the box turtle is the one that gives these tight hugs.

At the top of my head I have just a couple of examples, but I am sure there's more in the show:

In Smart Lair, when they rescue Donnie from S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N., Leo and Raph jump immediately into action, while Mikey instantly goes to hug him instead:

In the movie, too, when they are in the subway and about to get crushed by the Krang inside of the Turtle Tank, Mikey is hugging a crying Donnie:

I like to think this shows that Mikey is the most attentive when it comes to Donnie's emotional state (as established in Breaking Purple) and needs both when on and off missions.

Thank you for coming to my brief TED talk.

[dragonsareawesome123]

Congrats to Reverse 4 You for being the first Thai GL to get a worldwide Netflix release!

AJSJSSJSKS WHAT????

[emilyondemand]

Why are there 2 Elain weeks? I'm not upset with celebrating more Elain! But I'm confused. Did the hosts lose the login info?

So the very first Elain Archeron week was hosted back in 2021, that torch was passed onto the current hosts who have been running the appreciation week since September of 2022. The current hosts were harassed by Eluciens and Gwynriels who were trying to claim their own Elain week in 2023 which they held in March or April (?) and it flopped, so they abandoned it. They have always been welcome to celebrate in our long running Elain week, but if they do, they typically only contribute to the Romance prompt.

When Elain week posted their rules this year (which have been exactly the same for the past 3 years), antis decided to use it as a chance to bash the event and create drama over… males. Thus elaingate was born by people who were never going to, nor had any intention of actually participating in Elain week to begin with.

Our current hosts are very familiar with harassment surrounding the week, unfortunately, and just held their boundaries. Antis didn’t like that the hosts didn’t give into their tantrums, so they took the more manipulative approach of playing victim, and acted as though they didn’t feel welcomed to participate because the week is hosted by Elriels. Despite the fact that Elriels were by far and large interacting with, liking, and sharing ALL of the content posted. (From what I saw anyway, I can’t speak for what may have been happening on Twitter and I apologize if any Eluciens were being unfairly attacked on that platform. From what I’ve heard it’s unhinged in those parts, so I avoid)

A lot of them pretended to be nice to our faces on IG, while coming onto Tumblr to whine and complain about how many Elriels were participating, any nods to Azriel in any form in any piece was criticized, they tried to start drama over an artist who theorized Elain having shapeshifting abilities and gave her wings, one of the captions on one of my own commissions was mocked and made fun of in the pro Elain tags, and many of us were blocked, unblocked, and reblocked- it was just bizarre tantrum throwing behavior and a poor show of trying to play the victim while simultaneously manufacturing all of the drama.

So now, someone has taken over the reins of the random one time elucien led elain week and has decided to host it again, I’m assuming they will be resuming in March of 2025. The sad thing though is that it isn’t being held because of actual love for Elain’s character, but because they want to be spiteful and ugly over not being the first ones to host and control the real Elain week. And that is what it really comes down to- pettiness, unfortunately.

[kiwikiwiandkiwi]

H+L moments in 2022

I’ve seen these recaps before so I thought I’d make one with my favorite moments of 2022 since it was such a special year for them (and for us too):

1) I’m gonna start with probably my favorite moment (and this was just the beginning of everything) Louis wears the same blue and green shirt for his shows in Houston and Seattle (aka HS) 28 days apart of each other:

2) Louis pointing nonstop to a Larry sign during his show in Washington (here's the moment in different angles x, x, x):

3) Louis, during his Pittsburgh concert on Valentine's day, wears pants with a butterfly logo on them - a butterfly that was inspired by the movie Papillon, the same movie which inspired Harry’s butterfly tattoo:

4) Louis, on his Reykjavik show, wears a shirt that's written Maison - home in french - on the same day Harry announces his new album, Harry's House:

5) Ok, maybe this is my favorite moment. Harry, during his first concert of 2022, sings You're Still the One while wearing a rainbow jumpsuit (knowing exactly what this song means to us after singing it in 2018 and fonding way too hard while looking up at the VIP box):

6) Harry doodles an "H" and a subtle-ish “L” on his shoes while stunting in Italy:

7) The peace ring makes a comeback in May and then for a few days in September (worth mentioning that the first appearance in September was on the 7th, the exact same day the ring made a comeback in 2021:)

May 19th:

Sep 7th 2021 and Sep 7th 2022:

8) Louis and Harry being in Italy at the same time and Louis pretending he is not aware of it:

9) Harry dresses up as Danny Zuko (making him look a lot like Louis) aka a character from Grease aka one of Louis' favorite movie aka a character Louis played when he was young (a play so important to him that he still has the jacket he wore in it):

10) which leads me to this moment, because while wearing a Danny Zuko costume, Harry sang Hopelessly Devoted to You, a song that speaks for itself but that later on, Louis said was his favorite song from Grease:

11) After years of Harry telling us he's the little spoon, Louis finally confirmed that he is in fact the big spoon:

12) so many songs and lyrics from Harry's House and Faith in the Future (big, big, big, biiiiiig shout out to Keep Driving, Daylight, Written All Over Face and Lucky Again)

[yosajaeofficial]

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER UPDATE

Heya everybody! We’re back for a double episode of, “The Monthly Jayce Myles Comics Updates”! The reason why August wasn’t fulfilled like normal was due to college and how busy I immediately got when entering in, which is what I figured would happen so I’m not too surprised with it to be honest. I took some time in order for me to make a fulfilling update instead of doing a rushed one to pump out yk? We’re now gonna get to the updates and bonus content I’m gonna show.

Buckle your seat belts, close your eyes and take your hands off the wheel cuz this is gonna be a ride~

THE COMIC

(OFFICIAL W.I.P: PAGES 28 & 31)

The comic’s gotten slower due to college, however, I really needed a break from it in general so I could prioritize my personal life and also refresh myself on drawing what I want to instead of rushing my age physically and turn 78 years old when I haven’t even reached 20 yet. Nothing much to say but showing the w.i.ps because of the slower progress, it’s getting there though. We got to 30 pages! Which means that the first section is sketched out (calculated to be approximately a fourth of the full chapter done, it could go lower or higher in the numbers depending on what I want/vision). I’m hella proud for getting 30 of them pages done honestly. A huge accomplishment for doing this story for a long while.

Ya’ll don’t really know, but I am indeed changing things here and there about the story where I’m shifting small details, doing redesigns, and reboots with other small things overall. I would be honest and say that’s where I’m progressing the most and not the debut chapter, I’m able to have a clearer vision of the story in my head and on paper when doing future chapters yk? I won’t go into details about redesigns or those details being changed since they’re hella spoilerish and a bit unnecessary considering that the JMC hasn’t even debuted yet. Ya’ll will get those details later when the comic functions and I will reveal more in future updates!

Also, last month Jae, no you haven’t drawn the turtles yet. However, we’re close to their debut for the chapter so keep strong! You’re doing great! :3

BONUS CONTENT: Jayce Myles Over The Years

Many of you know that Jayce Myles, whose name is in the title of the series, is our protagonist for this ROTTMNT comic! She’s my OC that I’ve had when going through my senior year of high school. We’re gonna be getting into a deep dive with her as a character and how their designs came to be during the process!

This is the first ever drawing of Jayce that I’ve done, the day I made it is so vivid in my head because I was going through it… I was in my Pre Calculus class and I had failed another test after multiple attempts through the school year. My initial idea was to cry (which I did) but then I just started doodling on my phone and I created this drawing, then from there it was history. This was in 2022, not too long ago. I became a Rise fan a couple weeks after the movie came out (which I didn’t know at the time, it was a pure coincidence) and I wanted to create a Rise OC for a while. So that day in Pre-Calc, I was able to take advantage of my mathematical suffering and create my magnum opus (exaggerated). She didn't have a name at the time so it was actually a stand in for me. Jayce got their full name until a couple days later.

EVOLUTION OF JAYCE MYLES

(October 2022- February 2024)

As you all can see, Jayce did indeed have lots of designs and ideas being sketched out while I created her as my official Rise OC. I had ideas for them to have an androgynous look from the start based off of my own self! I knew they were gonna have a Rise comic, but there were ideas for them to originally come from the 2012 TMNT universe with their "serious demeanor". It was quite interesting but there isn't much media of those ideas since they were cut a bit early on.

(Older Renders of Jayce from 2022)

Their signature color looked like it was gonna be this denim blue for quite a while but then I scrapped it cuz I thought it wasn't showing their personality like how I want it to. There was also another scrapped concept where Jayce's demeanor would be more monotone and "soft" (as in a blank slate, which doesn't give her a true personality). It was cut because it made me think that I wasn't giving her the best potential as the protagonist then I should've been giving them. Jayce was more introverted and quiet, but now they're much more expressive and full of personality. Ya'll will see in a more better light when the comic debuts, I'm not holding back with Jayce's personality anymore.

("Issue 1: Graffiti" Panels from page 1. The only page that was completed until the plot got scrapped.)

There were lots of pitches and concepts for the JMC over the years too, where lots of storyboards got drafted and one of the first of those drafts got their first page completed. However, I'm pulled a Richard Williams and kept being like "No, I don't like this" and kept going back to the drawing board. I like to look back on these old drafts especially after seeing the older interactions and how different they're gonna be in the official comics. I for sure was learning over 2023 and 2024...

Now finally, we're gonna touch on the last thing for this update~

JMC'S FINALIZED PILOT (ADDITIONAL CHARACTER)

We are going to talk just a teeny bit about the debut chapter but I'm able to become vague without spoiling too much since lots of the older pitches were scrapped. But yes, this was when I came up with the idea, "What if Jayce had a job?"

That's where the idea of Jayce working at a deli joint came from. Where she would have to get a 9-5 and possibly fired, it was pretty funny when doing the drafts since I never knew how a real deli worked and my dumbass just used my mom's experience at Denny's as referenced (she walked out and quit after almost a year).

Thus, our pilot was born.

You can go read a non canon comic I did that touched on this concept when it was fresh in development right here! [Jayce and Mikey Phone Call] & [Splinter/Randall and Jayce Interaction]

The shop itself was based off of a friend's film back in junior year. He made a FNAF parody called, "Five Nights At Fernando's" and it was such a stupid assignment but that gave me the idea of making use of the dumbass "Fernando's Shop" and make it a reality. So then Fernando's Taco Shop was created and we had the shop Jayce worked at. We already talked a bit about Archie and his deal in the first JMC Monthly Update and I can't say anymore due to spoilers but he was also involved of the creation of the pilot.

The older pitches had a cashier or a manager be like some NPC ahh character that never was gonna be brought up ever again but something in me thought it would be a cute idea to create an actual character for this manager that wasn't a stupid bossy ass hoe. It was very sweet in the drafts so I thought I could create more with that concept in mind.

Introducing: Rogelio Andazola!

(Rogelio Andazola Evolution: 2022-2023 | Still Not Showing The Finalized.)

His design is one that is the most consistent when compared to the rest of the roster, I guess that I hit the nail with his because I couldn't imagine him any different. There are only minor changes like his gray strands disappearing (bro reverse aged) and his facial expressions are much more expressive after I played around during the soft reboot. Once again (and as annoying as it is), you will all see where I'm coming from when the debut chapter releases! Rogelio as a character has also altered his personality, he's based off of my grandpa, can't wait to show you how that comes into play in the story!

Thank you all so much for sticking around for this very heavy update! I worked way too much for the photos to be sent on here and dug up lots of my old art in order for this to become a reality! It was actually insane that I kept lots of it instead of making it turn into lost media, I'm happy I got to show lots of it instead of having to make it the fuck up by memory (which I wouldn't have done in the first place and is an exaggeration). The comic is slaying in the runway and I'm working on it here and there at my own pace. Maybe next time I can finally show ya'll the turtles in the next W.I.P in the comic section. Have an amazing day/night everyone and we're on the way to victory!

[livvyofthelake]

remember when this happened. can you believe gay brains day was a mere ten days after the Horrors… girl what were you doing

you’re kidding. say sike right now.

[canichangemyblogname]

@trans-buckleyy (this is my main), I got into watching 911 ~September 2022 and looking back through some of my old message/posts about it I was talking about how the gifs I'd seen on tumblr made me think buddie were together. So yeah I definitely got 'baited'/misled by the fans (I didn't start watching for buddie specifically, they just came up on my dash the most) - I commented at the time that a lot of the posts on tumblr about 911 felt like they were only through the lens of buddie shippers so I can see how so many people were misled, fortunately for me the illusion shattered as soon as I actually started watching the show. Though there's been a massive shift in attitude, when I first joined the fandom most people were happy shipping buddie and not believing it would ever become canon, now it seems like everyone has convinced themselves it will. Imo they're kind of setting themselves up for disappointment.

I’m sure I’ve said this before on my blog: capitalism combined with the white supremacist suppression, homogenization, or sterilization of cultures & traditions leads people to make consumption and products part of their identity. Fiction and fandom fill a need to belong that often replace real support systems and community (this is why so many in fandom feel lonely). Rather than a hobby, fandom is part of some people’s identity. So, pushback against popular fan interpretations— or fanon— can feel like a personal attack.

It seems to me that the blogs that just do fandom things to do fandom things—like shipping, that are happy to delineate between canon and fanon, and that understand that fanon is fanon and will likely never go canon are also the same blogs that love things like “rare-pairs” and “multi-shipping.” They seem to approach it from a “it’s never that serious” mentality and really just seem to want to have fun with it. It’s a hobby, not part of how they define themselves. Hobbies and interests are welcome to change, whereas people see identity as fixed and deterministic (it’s not, but that’s a whole other discussion).

There’s been a massive shift in attitude because the landscape has changed. Many of the most hard-core fans have staked their group belonging and (fandom) worldview around buddie. It was *the* singular 9-1-1 fanon relationship (the rest are all canon). It brought them together with people, people who they now see celebrating more on-screen queer representation. They feel spurned. Videos are surfacing of some of the most hard-core sobbing over Buck being confirmed as bi, but not getting buddie. They're telling their audience/followers that if buddie never goes canon, their quality of life will decrease, and they’re repeating many of the same things you (and many other fans) mention: they were led to believe this was a done deal, a foregone conclusion. How does one admit they’re likely wrong about “endgame” when they’ve spent the better part of 6 years supporting this and believing in it? They’re having far more difficulty accepting this than you did. Unlike you, actually watching the show did not set their expectations for what canon will likely be.

I also think there has been a massive shift in the way fandoms approach shipping since the end of Supernatural. A good chunk of the SPN fandom simply stopped watching the show, but continued creating for it. The fandom still dominates on fan-driven sites despite the show now being off-air for 4 years. Many SPN fans had largely given up on canon, preferring fanon, and admitted as such. Until “Destiel” went “canon.” (It didn’t, not really and not technically.) People shifted to this idea that they— the fans— could pressure networks and producers to canonize their ship (they can’t) or make decisions the fandom, a very niche part of an audience, would prefer (they can't). After Buck was confirmed bi, some of the most popular takes were, “This is revolutionary! Just 4 years ago, Supernatural was queerbaiting us all to superhell, and now we have 9-1-1 making a character bi 7 seasons in."

Ultimately, this idea they can pressure shows into making fanon a reality reveals that they have no concept of how television shows are made and produced or how decisions are made at the production and network levels. They are not going to persuade a network plus every writer, every producer, and every showrunner involved to agree to do what they want. But we still see fans in fandom believe they can get all these people to make decisions for the sake of fandom. Just look at the Our Flag Means Death fandom and their billboard fiascos.

Because buddie is part of how this subset of 9-1-1 fans define their sense of belonging, if Buck is in a relationship with anyone other than Eddie, this threatens their community and their relationship with the media itself. Tommy is to these 9-1-1 fans what Eddie was to Buck in 02x01: competition. This is why this same group treated the actresses who played former love interests like shit, too, including death threats and attempts to doxx or "cancel" them. Everything that challenges their (fandom) worldview must be removed. They can't and won't get the network to budge, so maybe they can try to get the actors themselves to quit or the producers to budge. After all, they have "direct" access to these individuals (they don't).

This all seems fantastical just writing about it. The logic doesn't logic, but logic isn't going to logic when social media creates parasocial relationships. Social media makes it seem like we plebians are closer to the patrician class because of how we're exposed to personal aspects of their lives. Repeated exposure to a media persona causes a media user to develop illusions of intimacy, friendship, and identification, and the more prevalent social media is in the media user's life, the more parasocial the online relationship becomes. So if your belonging and part of your sense-of-self identify with being a buddie shipper, then so, too, does the media persona, leading to people like Oliver Stark or Tim Minear being "number one buddie defenders" (they don’t care, y'all, I promise).

Now, add to this the way that m/m shipping has been constructed as inherently subversive (despite the reductive and sometimes regressive tropes that slash-fic uses) and as a form of activism, and you now have people not just identifying with shipping and staking their well-being on a ship, but also believing it is a morally righteous cause to campaign for. To them, they're fighting for representation and the expansion of queer stories. So, when the network and show expand queer representation without them or their ship, they're confronted with the reality that what they're doing doesn't do a damn bit of help. They're forced to ask themselves if their feverish promotion of and support for this ship may not have been about representation. I've seen some of them conclude that 1.) being forced to look critically at shipping is just misogyny because the majority of people in these fandom spaces are women, 2.) they're a queer woman, so, of course, it was about representation, they support and care about queer men and are an m/m ally (yet reblog posts about shooting us if we flirt with men in ways they don't like with the excuse "I'm a woman, I'm allowed to hate men"), 3.) actually, the buddie ship is "superior" representation because it is culturally diverse because Eddie's Latino (yea tokenization!!).

This all plays a large part in why they aren't taking it well when called out for homophobia and the xenophobic hypersexualization of Latino men because, to them, shipping culturally diverse m/m relationships is inherently "progressive" and "subversive" (again, despite the reductive and regressive tropes they use in their writing). They don't need to look critically at what they're saying or how they're hurting marginalized men because they believe they are putting moral pressure on the networks to be more progressive or subversive. Meanwhile, they're drawing rhetoric and ideas from existing queerphobic worldviews and legal structures (like echoing the rhetoric similar to gay panic, a US legal strategy to excuse crimes such as murder and assault on the grounds that the victim being queer led the perp to violence - a.k.a shooting a man for the way he flirted with another man) to tear down canon queer representation, just as they previously used misogynistic tropes to tear down Ana or Taylor or Ali or Marisol.

TL;DR— Many factors have contributed to the wide meltdown and "fandom schism" we've witnessed, not just the fact that some people explicitly started watching for buddie and have skipped whole swaths of the show to fit a "buddie interpretation."

[sleepanonymous]

I think I’m mentally in a good enough headspace to finally write about this. This will be a ranty post, so skip it if you’d like. I’m also not going to pretend I’m not wildly speculating here. I do not know Vessel, nor am I a mental health professional. This is just me rambling into the void; I did my best to make it coherent.

So, to start, we’ll need the message from Vessel that he played during his The Room Below set and the text on screen from the Fall For Me music video. Since I’ll call back to them, I’ve transcribed both below.

Fall For Me:

The truth is I am due a harsh lesson in truth itself and how bitter it can be. Will you teach me? The truth is I am ugly, I am inadequate, I am lost, I am no god. The truth is, I want, to want, to live, and so do you. I just can’t do this any longer. I am afraid. Are you afraid? I want to understand what it is to let go. So for now let me live as a living drama of your pain. If we are to be submerged let us be submerged together.

Vessel’s Room Below Message:

We are here to silently connect. To project ourselves onto one another. We are here to remember. We are here to forget. We are here to worship. Some time ago, I was given a message. It was a message that originated from one of you. Someone possessed by a strong desire to tell me something. The message read very simply: You saved me. I have thought about this message a great deal since. It left me with a feeling that I have somehow been mistaken for someone else. I did not save anyone. I do not believe I have the capacity to save anyone. All I have ever given anyone was a small window into the emotional waiting room of my mind. I do so whilst doing everything in my power to minimize my own vulnerability. In this way, I am selfish. I chose not to give what others can, and yet I am the benefactor of this thankful praise. |I experience a great deal of pain in my life. However, I do not believe I have suffered as you have suffered. Perhaps that is another reason why we are here. At the very least, we have all suffered. I would also like to take this chance to tell you something. To love oneself is not the easy task we are sometimes told it is. We are all limited by something. We are all guilty of something. My own path towards a place of greater self-acceptance is paved with the art that I create. It is a path that I continue to stumble down at the expense of everything else. I am nothing without this music. I am nothing without this mask. So, in this sense, the message I received was true, but only in an inverse sense. The truth is I did not save anybody. You saved me.

For a bit of background, the Fall For Me music video was released in September of 2021, right before the release of TPWBYT. The Room Below show was initially set for January 2022. It was postponed twice due to COVID-19 and was finally set for the end of April 2022. To be honest, most bands would have just cancelled the show after it was postponed, especially if it was a single show, not part of a tour, and not meant for the entire band to be present. According to an online article, the show itself even started half an hour later than it was supposed to. Again, I’m wildly speculating, but Vessel wanted to do this show specifically to deliver his Room Below message. He doesn’t communicate any other way with his fans aside from the occasional chuckle on stage and his awful (/affectionate) heart hands. So what else was he supposed to do in order to respond to that person who told them that he, specifically, saved their life?

Let me back up a bit. Again, this is speculation, but I believe this person with their strong desire to communicate their message to Vessel did so before the music video for Fall For Me was released in September of 2021. It’s possible the message came after, but before makes the most sense (at least to me). I say this because the music video for the song has no direct connection to the lyrics. The base subject matter for Fall For Me is about longing and wanting someone who does not want you back, at least not in the same way.

On the other hand, the music video is Vessel (or a character he is portraying, if that makes you feel more comfortable) committing suicide by sea, and, upon first watch, the words on the screen are his suicide note. With closer examination, this is not the case. The words on the screen, though some statements do seem like they belong in a suicide note, are more like a precursor to Vessel’s Room Below speech, especially with the “I want to want to live, and so do you” quote. Even more than that, the statements show Vessel disproving himself and his importance to Sleep Token fans.

“I am ugly”, “I am inadequate”, “I am selfish”, “I am nothing without this mask.” With these four quotes, I’ll move on to the second part of this post. These four statements are coming from a man with severely diminished self-worth. Plainly, Vessel is struggling, or, to use his word, he is suffering. Without pulling more from his music, these quotes alone are a tell-tale sign that Sleep Token’s anonymous marketing strategy has backfired in the most spectacular way for Vessel. While it has captured the attention of over two million monthly listeners on Spotify and garnered over ninety-nine million views on YouTube, the anonymity has ruined Vessel’s self-esteem.

With the above stated, I believe he’s still on board with keeping up the anonymity of Sleep Token. To be frank, I think he’s the only member of Sleep Token who is still 100% on board with the gimmick. The Vesselettes recently unmasked back in July 2023 (good for them; they deserve to be recognized and praised for their talents), and there are multiple accounts of II, III, and IV walking around festivals and venues unmasked, sometimes even wearing their full stage costumes sans masks. Vessel relies on his masked identity like a crutch to deliver his art. He does so because he believes he has to. He plainly stated this fact to the six hundred people at the Lafayette with him in April of 2022 and, by conduit, all of Sleep Token’s fans who have heard the multiple recordings and edits of this message.

The other members, II, III, IV, even the Vesselettes, the old keyboardist, OG IV, and 2020 session player Sam Kubrick, have all achieved variable success without the Sleep Token façade in the public eye. But not Vessel. The best he had was performing on a small stage hosted by his former university at a music festival in 2014. Before that, he struggled to get subscribers on YouTube and played open mic nights at a local café. Vessel didn’t achieve any recognition or fame until after he put on the mask and bought entirely into the idea that his music, his art, should be wholly separated from who he is as a person.

This mindset reminds me of a Miley Cyrus quote (stick with me; I promise this is relevant) from a few years back. She did a podcast interview and said the following about her Hannah Montana persona: “When I looked like myself, when I didn’t have the wig on anymore, no one cared about me. I wasn’t a star anymore.” Her quote helped put Vessel’s statement, “It left me with a feeling that I have somehow been mistaken for someone else”, into perspective. I saw that snippet on YouTube a couple of weeks ago, and it was like everything instantly snapped into place involving Vessel’s insistence on remaining anonymous.

With the above said, do I believe that the anonymity schtick is a trash idea and that the band should ditch it? Absolutely not, because it works. Without anonymity, the band would not have blown up the way they did after The Summoning dropped in January 2023. Without anonymity, there wouldn’t be extra layers of added lore. Without anonymity, there would be no mini ARGs for the fans curious enough to wonder why there are no credits on the songs their streaming services are suggesting to them (thanks for fucking that up, by the way, Apple Music. A+ shitshow right there). We would not have such emotional, beautiful, heart-wrenching songs without Vessel’s anonymity. Vessel has said this last point himself with his quote about minimizing his vulnerability. Would Vessel have had the confidence to put out songs like Bloodsport, Atlantic, High Water, Missing Limbs, or even Vore without his mask to shield him? In Vessel’s words, all he has given his fans is “a small window into the emotional waiting room of [his] mind.” But what a gifted, beautiful, turbulent, fractured, and brilliant waiting room we have been allowed to see.

In closing, whoever it was that gave Vessel the message about saving their life, I sincerely hope they were in attendance for The Room Below show, and I hope they heard Vessel’s response. I hope they both, as well as anyone else touched by this interaction between the two, have found support channels for the weight of their pain. I hope that they are happy.

TL;DR Vessel is a beautiful, talented, and humble human being who has and continues to save lives with his music. He deserved so much more attention than he got before Sleep Token. I want Vessel to know this (even though he will never see this post). However, I also do not think that he and the other boys should not drop Sleep Token’s anonymity act at the expense of their comfort.

[ollivandersart]

Some accidental Hannibal fanart I did in 2022!

Now that I’ve started doing actual Hannibal fanart I realized how much this could pass for some sort of Will representation lol. I literally knew nothing about the show until a few months ago and did this illustration in September of 2022, so it’s kinda funny to me how much this just looks like fanart (also, fan fact, I got a Scholastic’s Gold Key for it last year, which cracks me up a little now).

[hldailyupdate]

Louis Tomlinson’s feature-length documentary, “All Of Those Voices” will be available to stream on Paramount+ starting Oct. 4 in the United States and Canada.

The documentary, which was released in select theaters earlier this March, gives an intimate look at the former One Direction member’s life and musical career. It was directed by Charlie Lightening, who helmed Liam Gallagher’s “As It Was,” and produced in partnership with 78 Productions and Trafalgar Releasing. It will also be available to stream on Paramount+ in the U.K., Australia, Latin America, Brazil, Italy, France, Germany, Switzerland, Austria and South Korea starting Oct. 5.

“I’m really excited to announce that ‘All Of Those Voices’ will be available to stream on Paramount+,” said Tomlinson in a statement. “This film means everything to me, and I’m looking forward to having it out there in the world!”

The film explores Tomlinson’s personal struggles with loss and his journey from a member of One Direction to a solo artist. After releasing his debut album “Walls” in 2020, and his follow-up “Faith In The Future” in 2022, Tomlinson chose to pull back the curtain in this documentary film showing a much more intimate side of him that his fans hadn’t had a chance to engage with since the storied boy band he grew up in disbanded in 2015.

“This has been something I’ve been working on for years, I’m really excited to finally put it out into the world,” said Tomlinson in a press release at the time of the film’s announce. “I’ve said it a million times but I’m lucky enough to have the greatest fans an artist could wish for, and as they always go above and beyond for me, I wanted to share my story ‘in my own words’.”

-All Of Those Voices will be available to stream on Paramount+! (19 September 2023)

[3rddimension]

Answering the other anon’s question about Saige and Damien with what I’ve gathered from the internet…heads up, this is long! Sorry in advance!

First, I need to preface this by saying, this information is provided to satisfy curiosity only. This new community being cultivated seems to keep discussions to themselves and leave the Smosh cast alone, which is awesome. When this stuff first happened, Saige stans and Damien stans took sides and started being toxic and spreading rumors and misinformation. Really don’t want that to happen here. Warning done? Cool!

Saige started working at Smosh at the beginning of 2021. Damien stated in a stream that he quickly developed a crush on her. It’s not clear when they first started dating but by November 2021, they had moved in together and confirmed their relationship. They made regular appearances on each other’s streams (clearly in different rooms of the same residence). They did couple’s costumes in Halloween and in his end of the year post for 2021, Damien called Saige the “love of his life”.

Damien bought Saige concert tickets to a show she wanted to see, they would show snippets of their outings (a picnic, the Ren faire), and they travelled to Italy together.

Professionally, SmoshGames partnered with Twitch in the fall of 2020. Saige had started PixelCircus at the same time but it was just beginning so I think she agreed to be hired by Smosh to help with their Twitch content. I think the streams did modestly. There was some drama about how it was clear SmoshGames was just in it for the money versus “normal” streamers being in it for the community. (I think at the end of the day, any monetized channel is in it for the money but that’s another story.) Speculation also arose around doing things live on Twitch causing issues for the cast and scheduling. Regardless, what happened was SmoshGames ended their Twitch streaming in March 2022. Saige started appearing in less content although she still went with Smosh to Vidcon 2022. I don’t think she was as visible as everyone else though. Matt Raub left Smosh in July 2022. This is speculation but I assume he had something to do with hiring Saige so with him gone and the Twitch gone, I think Smosh decided not to continue with Saige. They also hired Angela, Chanse and Arasha at this time.

Saige didn’t get an official departure notice, but people started to notice she wasn’t in Smosh content. She confirmed only in October 2022 that she no longer worked for Smosh. In the meantime, I think her content creation and viewership with PixelCircus picked up. She was going to more tabletop conventions and whatnot. At one point, she had to quarantine from Damien because she caught something at one of them.

Their exact breakup date is not public. Presuming that Damien is a supportive partner, it’s telling that he liked all her IG posts before September 12, 2022 and nothing after. Again, it’s not confirmation of anything but it’s likely they broke up some time after that. Saige also mentioned in her fall 2022 streams that she was moving. (This is much later but they completely unfollowed each other on social media by May 2023.)

When Saige confirmed to her fans that she left Smosh in October 2022, I assume some of her fans thought something was wrong with Smosh. Saige fed the flames by stating in her discord that while she didn’t say anything that “isn’t lawyer approved”, “everything else is a guess or logical conclusion of an intelligent community”. This wasn’t great but what really stirred things in up was a fan making accusations about Smosh being toxic except for Damien in November of 2022 and Saige LIKING that tweet. At this point, I think the bridges were burned and connections severed.

You can leave a company but you probably shouldn’t support someone calling your ex, your former workplace and his coworkers/friends toxic if you want to maintain any sort of relationship. From that point on, I think they just don’t acknowledge each other. Damien and Saige were both at GenCon this year even and promoted completely separate events.

So, that’s what I know. Mostly pulled from Twitter, some Tumblr and IG sleuthing. Saige and Damien did seem happy so I’m sad they didn’t work it out and this is how the relationships, both personal and professional, ended.

It’s not really clear why Damien and Saige’s personal relationship ended. It might seem like it was because she stopped working at Smosh but we’ll never really know. In my personal judgement, from afar and definitely with incomplete information, it does seem like Saige is a bit immature. Maybe a bit of a narcissist. Around this time too, Damien started to experience some breakthroughs and epiphanies about his neurology and mental health, so that may have helped him realize if he was in any unhealthy situations. (Since he’s neurospicy, kind and socially awkward, I think he was probably easy to take advantage of.)

Anyway, hope this answers the previous anon’s question. At the end of the day, I hope both of them continue to improve their mental health and find happiness. It just won’t be with each other.

Dang. That's a long one! Thanks for all the info anon. Also don't forget that this already happened for quite awhile now and all of them already moved on. I can see both of them already happy with the way their chose and i'm happy for them.

[itzynabi]

like someone in love

summary: in which eve and san go on a date

set: early september 2022

word count: 2.6k

warnings: mention of food and i think that’s it

an: the nasan first date is finally out everybody scream!,!! getting this done is the highlight of my life if i’m being honest. feedback and reblogs are much appreciated 💐

eve’s masterlist

Eve had always loved the night sky. Since she often worked long hours, she would sometimes see the stars more than the sun. If she tried hard enough, she would probably be able to name the constellations.

The stars twinkled as she drove to the park, where her and San had agreed to meet up for their date. Yunho was going to drop him off as he was the only member with a licence. As she approached their meet up spot, she saw a car waiting by the benches. She pulled up behind them and was about to call San when he exited the car. She exhaled deeply as he walked towards her car, trying to calm her nerves.

“Hi,” San greeted when he opened the door, a lunch bag in his hands.

“Hi,” Eve greeted back, smiling at him. “Sorry for making you wait, I couldn’t decide on my outfit.”

“Well, you look really good,” he said, getting in the car. Eve blushed, looking down at her dress.

She cleared her throat. “Thanks. Um, you look good, too.” She gestured to his outfit. “So, how long do you think they’re going to sit there and watch us?” She asked, referring to his members in the car. She could see five pairs of eyes watching them through the back windshield.

“I don’t know. I should tell them to leave.” He moved to leave the car.

She stopped him. “No! Um. It’s okay, just… shocked that they’re still there.”

Yunho must have gotten tired of sitting stationary in the car because he soon ignited it and drove off. They could both imagine the complaints that filled the car at that moment from the members who wanted to watch them longer.

“Well,” Eve started, gesturing in front of her, “they’re not anymore.”

“Yeah,” San said. He perked up, shaking the lunch bag in his hands. “I brought the snacks.”

“Oh!” She exclaimed. “What did you bring?”

“Dried sweet potato, Chocolate Binch Biscuits, Orion Choco Pie and chocolate covered strawberries,” he listed off, opening the bag to show her. She hummed in approval.

“Amazing choices, in my humble opinion,” she said, feeling her nerves slowly dissipate.

“Thanks, Wooyoung helped me pick them out. I know you like chocolate so he told me to just buy chocolate snacks.”

“Wooyoung’s always been one of the smartest members in ATEEZ.”

“I’m also up there, right?” He asked, looking at her.

She smiled sweetly at him. “Let’s not get too ambitious.”

He pouted, mumbling, “I should be up there, though. You should think I’m the best from my group.”

“Do you think I’m the best in my group?”

“Yes!” He answered. “But Ryujin’s funnier,” he teased with a smile, causing Eve to pout.

“Well, as smart as Wooyoung was with snack suggestions,” Eve began, “there’s one problem.”

San’s eyes widened. “What is it?”

Eve sighed, drawing out the tension as long as she could. “I’m allergic to strawberries.”

He stared at her for a second before bursting into laughter. “Yah, why are you lying, Biyah? You’re not allergic to strawberries.”

She nodded slowly, pursing her lips. “I kind of am.”

San slowly stopped laughing. “But… but you said you’ve always wanted to try chocolate covered strawberries.”

“Yeah. Because I can’t. For safety reasons.”

“How did I not know about this? I was so excited to give you this.” He huffed, closing his eyes.

“It never came up in conversation, it’s not your fault. If it makes you feel better, I’ll try one.” She suggested.

“Is that healthy?” San asked, looking at her. “Won’t you have an allergic reaction?”

“Well, duh!” Eve exclaimed. “But I’ve got an EpiPen,” she justified, tapping the centre console.

“Don’t you only get EpiPen’s when the allergy is serious?”

“I don’t know. But you prepared the chocolate strawberries for me because I said I’ve always wanted to try them.”

He shook his head profusely. “I don’t want you to have an allergic reaction on our first date!”

“Oh, is that more a third date thing?”

“It’s a never-going-to-happen thing,” San answered. He put the container with strawberries at the bottom of the bag.

Eve pouted. “This could be my one and only chance to try a chocolate covered strawberry.”

“No. It couldn’t, because I’m not giving you any.”

“Wooyoung would give me one,” she grumbled, shifting in her seat.

San smiled at her cuteness. “And he’d have to explain to your parents why he gave you strawberries,” he pointed out.

“Can’t argue with that.”

The conversation stalled there, the two smiling shyly at each other. Eve cleared her throat, looking away from San.

“How was your tour?” She asked him.

He sighed. “It was great. It really was, but it’s hard. I want to give my all for ATINY’s and be proud of my performance, but it’s like my standards are so high that I can’t even touch them.” He took out the Chocolate Binch Biscuits as he spoke, “You know at the end of a performance, you get that feeling in your chest like you just ran a marathon?” He waited for her to nod before continuing, “I felt that, but I still felt unsatisfied.”

Eve nodded in understanding, taking a biscuit from him. “I’m the last person that should tell you to be satisfied with your performances–” she chuckled, thinking about her perfectionism– “but you kind of just have to learn to be okay with not always being able to give your best.”

San stared at Eve with stars in his eyes. “Wow. You’re really wise.”

Eve scoffed, looking out the window. “I’m not.” She looked back to San. “I just ask my brother for advice a lot.”

“That’s nice. But enough work talk, we have every other day to talk about that,” San said, shaking his head. “For today, we aren’t idols. For today, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend. San and Nabi.”

A smile crept its way onto Eve’s face. “San and Nabi.” She nodded. “Well then, San, stop hogging the biscuits.” She grabbed the biscuits from his lap as he gaped at her.

“I was just holding it!” He protested with a scoff. “It’s not like I was keeping it away from you or anything.”

“You basically are,” Eve said, pouting cutely.

San smiled at her. “You’re very cute.”

Eve’s facial expression turned to one of shock. “No, I’m not. Don’t lie.”

“But you are.” San poked her cheek affectionately. “You should give me boyfriend privileges and just let me be the only one who can call you cute.”

Eve tilted her head in confusion. “Everybody calls me cute, though.”

“Yeah, but when I say it, it’ll matter the most.”

“No, it won’t because you won’t say it.”

San threw his head back in laughter as Eve continued to eat the biscuits. When his laughter died down, he smiled at her fondly.

“You know,” San started. “I was a bit worried that things wouldn’t be the same between us. Wouldn’t be… easy.” He tilted his head. “But now that we’re on our date, I know that those fears were useless. I mean, I’m still San and you're still Eve. And we’re still us. Does that make sense?”

Eve nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, it does. I had the same worry but, as you said, we’re still us. Can’t believe it took us so long to get together, though.”

“That’s because somebody didn’t realise all the times I flirted with her,” San teased.

“So I’m a little oblivious. Sue me.” Eve shrugged. “I don’t pick up on the small details.”

“I was being super obvious, though,” San whined cutely. “I took you on a date!”

“With Ryujin and Wooyoung!” Eve rebutted. “I didn’t find anything romantic because they were there. I thought we were all just a bunch of pals.” She took a bite of her biscuit. “Besides, you invited Wooyoung. He’s your soulmate. I thought you two were celebrating something and just decided to invite us.”

“You’re really oblivious. So when I’d be very touchy with you, what did you think was going on?”

“I just thought you were in a touchy mood,” Eve explained. “Because I sometimes get moments when I have to touch someone — sometime it’s hugging them, sometimes it’s holding their hands — so I thought that was what was happening. Genuinely.”

San nodded, chuckling lightly. “Okay, but I only touched you,” he pointed out.

“I thought you were just comfortable with me.” Eve shrugged, finished her biscuit. “I wouldn’t go around hugging Yeosang, would I?” She asked, mentioning his member that she wasn’t exactly close to.

San bit his lip, smirking when Eve followed the action. “You have a point.” He picked up the lunch bag, taking out the sweet potatoes.

“Chaeryeong really love these,” Eve mentioned, pointing at the food San was peeling.

“I know,” he said, not looking up from his work. “I brought an extra so you could take it home for her.”

Eve felt a warmth unfurl in her chest at San’s thoughtfulness. “That’s sweet of you.”

He shook his head. “You’d have done the same.”

“Doesn’t mean it isn’t sweet,” she pointed out.

The two continued to talk and eat. They were having the most fun with each other as they joked and laughed. Having eaten all of the snacks and putting them back in the lunch bag, they began to just talk about anything and everything.

“But I kind of feel bad,” Eve said, “for keeping this from MIDZY’s.”

San nodded in agreement, sighing. “But we have to.”

“Yeah. I kind of like the secretiveness, though,” Eve revealed. “Is it super stressful? Totally. Do I feel guilty for lying to my fans? Hundred percent. But I like that it’s just us.” Eve linked their hands together on the centre console. “Nobody else but us.”

She looked up from their hands and made eye contact with him, holding his stare for a few seconds.

“You,” San started. “You can’t do that,” he complained and looked out the window before looking back at Eve, making her confused.

“Do what?”

“You can’t make me fall even more in love with you.”

Eve blushed and looked down in her lap with a smile on her face, “Shut up!”

“I’m serious,” he continued. “What if I have a heart attack because of how amazing you are?”

“That would be very unfortunate. And hard to explain to your CEO.”

San groaned. “Why did you bring up my CEO? He’s not who I want to think about on our first date.”

Eve raised her hands in mock surrender. “Sorry, sorry.” She looked at the lunch bag. “You didn’t eat the strawberries,” she pointed out, scratching her nose.

San also looked at the bag. “Oh, yeah. I kind of forgot about them.”

Eve reached for the bag, pulling out the container with strawberries. She took out one of the strawberries, holding it out to San. “Eat,” she softly said.

San leaned forward, taking a bite of the fruit. He groaned at the taste, briefly closing his eyes. “Tasty,” he told her, making a show of licking the sweetness off his lips. Eve’s breath hitched as she watched him, looking down to distract herself.

“Stop,” she whined, still looking at her lap.

“Stop what?” San asked, teasing her.

Eve looked up at him. “You know what you’re doing. What if I have a heart attack?” She echoed his earlier words.

San smiled at her. “I’d take you to the hospital.”

Eve rolled her eyes. “So impersonal.” She checked her phone to see the time. “Oh! We should be heading back now.”

San checked the time on his phone, his eyes growing wide in shock. “It’s been so long already? It feels like we just got here.”

Eve chuckled as they got to cleaning up the car, putting everything away and trying to pick up the crumbs. When they were done, Eve started the car. As she drove, they talked about dramas they had been watching.

“Well,” Eve started, tapping her foot on the floor of the car as they arrived at San’s apartment building. “I’d say that was a good date.”

San chuckled from beside her. “I’d have to agree.”

“This is me,” he said as she parked the car.

“This is you.” She rested one of her hands on the steering wheel, making eye contact with him. They stayed like that for a while before Eve cleared her throat.

“I guess I should go in.” He pointed behind him.

“I guess you should,” Eve smiled softly.

San looked as if he was going to turn to exit the car but instead stayed fixed in his position in his seat.

“I don’t want to, though.”

“I don’t want you to either,” she confessed. “So.” Eve played with her fingers. “What do we do? Do we go somepla–”

Her question was cut off by San, who had leaned towards her, grabbing her face in his hands and bringing his face so close to hers she swears she could count every one of his eyelashes.

“Can I kiss you?” San asked, voice deeper than she's ever heard before.

Eve gulped. “If I say no?”

“Then we can pretend this never happened.”

“And if I say yes?”

“I think you know. I mean you should know.”

Eve reached up with her left hand, wrapping it around San's wrist. She leaned her face closer until she was basically brushing his lips with hers.

“Yes,” she breathed out and San placed the most gentle and delicate kiss she had Ever experienced on her lips. His tongue soon teased against the seam of her lips and she opened them with a sigh. One of San's hands went to her waist, resting there.

“Wow,” Eve whispered after they pulled apart.

“Wow,” San echoed. Eve pulled away more, looking into his eyes with a shy smile on her face. “That was better than January 3rd,” San joked.

Eve rolled her eyes, thinking back to the day they almost kissed. “Technically, nothing happened January 3rd.”

“But something could’ve,” San pointed out, brushing his hand across Eve's cheek. Her eyes fluttered shut at the contact. When she opened them, she saw San looking at her with a heartwarming smile on his face.

“You ready to go inside now?” she asked.

San shook his head. "Not yet." He leaned forward, placing a kiss on her lips, letting himself linger. Eve felt his hand on her waist tighten when he pulled away. “Now I am.”

She pulled out of San's arms as he turned to open the door to the car.

“Goodnight San.”

“Goodnight Nabi.”

bonus:

Eve drove back to her dorm building, absentmindedly singing only to herself with a smile on her face. When she arrived at the building, she got out of her car, locking it as she walked to the elevator. Once inside, she did a little dance of excitement, clearing her throat and tucking her hair behind her ear when she finished.

She walked to her apartment unit after getting off the elevator. Eve bit her lip in an attempt to conceal her smile as she put in the code for the door, entering soon after.

As she took her shoes off, she heard Chaeryeong shout “She’s back!” followed by the sound of five pairs of feet going to meet her at the door. Her members poked their heads past the wall as if they were in a Disney movie.

“So,” Yeji started in a sing-song voice, “how was it?”

Eve did another little dance of excitement, jumping up and down. Her members’ faces broke into big smiles as they joined her in her happy celebration dance. Eve smiled harder as she thought about how her date ended, knowing the group wouldn’t go to sleep anytime soon.

tagging: @seolboba // @ateezivy // @ateezjuliet // @cafemilk-tea // @smh-anon // @alixnsuperstxr // @cosmicwintr

©️ kim nabi

[deadpoolsbathwater]

6 albums I’ve been listening to a lot lately! Plus one track from each that I’m especially fond of.

tagged by @byronicbi 🥰

i’m more of a playlist listener than an album listener so some of these may be ones i haven’t actually heard in a bit 😂

unheard by hozier -this one’s obvious, i’m a hozier girlie. too sweet is prob my favorite on there, but empire now is a close second

appaloosa bones by gregory alan isakov- i listened this one on repeat when i took the train to chicago in september to see hozier. the title track, appaloosa bones is my favorite and what i loved first

we made a mess in middle america by the way down wanderers- i’ve been following this band since 2017 i think? i’ve lost track of how many shows i’ve gone to and i’ve become friends with the drummer lmao. i had hey honey on repeat when it dropped

i’m cheating and saying all of the crane wives cuz i never pick an album i just listen to the playlist that has all of their music in it- i spent 3 months of 2022 listening to literally nothing but the crane wives i was possessed. curses started it but please listen to their new song, the well, too

guts (spilled) by olivia rodrigo- red introduced lacy to me as a willry song and he was So Right. and there’s a few song on here that slap so it technically makes the list lol

hadestown (original broadway cast)- this is on my recent album history, although it’s been a bit lol. if you haven’t heard hadestown, you need to. wait for me will change you

i’m also gonna do honorable mentions so you get a fuller picture 😂

hoziers entire discography

lord huron’s entire discography

a lot of upsahl

noah kahan

tagging @demon4dilfs @crealkller @deardekarios @pinkopalina @aturnoftheearth and anyone else who wants to do this!! i’m not sure who all likes doing these

[hedgiwithapen]

Dammit Hedgi Day BEGINS

Prompts are now OPEN Until the 24th of September I’ll be taking prompts, and as you all voted, beginning on the 23rd (saturday) and continuing till the 25th the EIGHTH anniversary of my first Dammit Hedgi (courtesy of Mosylu on Can’t Live in Dreams, I'll be posting them for your suffering and enjoyment

What prompts am I accepting? Originally an ANGST fest, it can get a bit more broad especially in recent years, so: Many!  I reserve the right to ignore shipping requests and just write gen, DHD is a smut-free zone, and it’s my day so  I will write about characters with my viewpoints so prompt with caution if you like a character i do not :)  you may rig your prompt for fluff, but do not count on it. like I said, Angst. and it's Dammit Hedgi Day, not "awww Hedgi that's so sweeet" day.

Dammit Hedgi started with The Flash, but yeah I quit watching that at season 6 and i don't wanna think about anything past like... season 5 maybe. Send me Flash stuff anyways, but let's stick to the roots. same with young justice (i did NOT watch s4) and of course the LoT and early Supergirl characters live in my heart. Big clinging to Stargirl, though, and I'm currently loving My Adventures With Superman, getting more comfy writing Leverage characters...

Y’all know me, you know my fandoms, and what I’ve been watching so as always, go nuts! Can’t promise I’ll fill it all (last year I had 65! prompts! and did fill them all so...) prompts for my RPG characters, for my shows, for the wild crossover of ur heart (Old Guard/ Flash crossover? why not. Leverage and Shazam? Sure!  Stargirl and the Librarians, heck yeah.) Feel free to send shit in, and I’ll either do it or I won’t, that’s DHD babes. I’ll try, anyways!

New to Dammit Hedgi Day? All I need is a character or two/ fandom and a dialog or narrative prompt!

You can send me a couple characters and an angst prompt from a list like  this one or This one,  Or this ….or  if there’s a whump post out there that grabs at you, you can use that.

You can send me an episode and a character for me to do a reaction fic or introspection, like Jax at the end of White Knight (LOT) or Beth in Stargirl: Summerschool episode 11. 

If we've chatted about an Au? send it! if there was a prompt from past years you liked and want More Of? (roundups for 2020 , 2021, 2022) hell yeah!)

canon stuff? post canon? pre canon? for want of a nail because canon is fake? go for it.

Canon suffering!! aus make everything worse!! you can ask for missing moments, or whatifs. We’ve had 7 (good lord you guys) of these now, you know the drill.  go for it.  I may not get to all of them. but I’ll write a lot because  now it’s a challenge! Current aus and hiatus fics are hella open to be extra angsted upon.  Any angst potential posts you’ve seen from me, canon angst that the writers ignore! Prompt away!

 HELL YEAH SMORES PARTY IN HELL! WHOOOO!!!! (join the Discord!)

[thornsofthefuture]

an interview with lucy lamb — a talk about couchsurfing, australia and the afterlife

today's thorns of the future guest is lucy lamb, a rising star of modern post-crystal castles electronic music, inspired by early 2010s fashion. lucy is an artist from melbourne, australia. she describes her music as "alt, indie, electronica, dance-pop and witch house with elements of darkwave". lucy is a producer and a singer, as well as a lyricist. her first ever release was a single titled "hello", which was self-released by lamb through distrokid.

thorns of the future: how did you start your journey with music?

lucy: I’ve always loved making music ever since I was a little kid. Started singing lessons when I was like 7 years old, fell in love with Miley Cyrus which was the reason I wanted to become a singer lol. Started making music when I was about 16, and released my first EP when I was 18.

thorns of the future: what are some of your favourite songs right now?

lucy: My favourite songs right now are Canary Wharf Drift by Bassvictim and Your Face by Wisp.

thorns of the future: who inspired you to make music?

lucy: Literally Miley Cyrus in the Hannah Montana tv show I was so obsessed.

thorns of the future: what is your craziest experience during a live show?

lucy: I played in this club in Tokyo which was a wild experience for me. There was no stage so I was just on the danceflooor with the crowd and kind of just walking around like weaving through everybody with my microphone which I definitely wasn’t used to.

thorns of the future: what software do you use to make music?

lucy: I use Logic Pro, I’m still learning how to use it properly though.

thorns of the future: what's "the other side" about?

lucy: The Other Side is about crossing over to the after life pretty much. It talks about being scared to die and the things you would miss. It can kind of be interpreted as being about any sort of transition from one thing to another, any sort of change, but I think the obvious one (especially when watching the music video) is the transition to death. It’s just a fictional sort of story if you will.

thorns of the future: are you planning any new releases?

lucy: I have 3 singles coming out in the next few months all with music videos. ‘Bed of Snow’ is coming out on September 20th and I’m so excited for it. All the songs are of course dance/electronic but I’m leaning a little bit into like indie rock elements in two of them, with the third being like a full commitment to witch house.

thorns of the future: what's a country you would never travel to?

lucy: Probably North Korea for obvious reasons.

thorns of the future: tell us about the things you enjoy most, except for making music.

lucy: I love travelling that’s my second favourite thing in the world after music. I went on a year long trip around the world in 2022 which was absolutely amazing. I went on a 5 month road-trip around Australia earlier this year too. It’s a little hard to travel like that while also doing music so I think for now I’m taking a break from travelling. I also love animals, especially weird exotic ones. The weirder they look the more I love them because it just makes me thing how weird and amazing the world is.

thorns of the future: have you ever met anyone famous from the electronic scene? who was it and how was your experience with them?

lucy: I can’t say I have yet. Someone I’d LOVE to meet is the guys from Air. They’re a huge inspiration for me and one of the most talented electronic duos I know.

thorns of the future: what's the riskiest thing you've ever done?

lucy: The riskiest thing I’ve done was probably when my friend and I did couchsurfing through Europe. There’s this app called couchsurfing where you can arrange to stay at strangers’ houses for free while you’re travelling. We were pretty nervous every time we stayed with someone because there was always the question of like what’s in it for them? Why are they letting random people stay at their house for free? The people we stayed with sometimes turned out to be weird and kind of put us on edge but a lot of the time they were really cool people too so. We were literally on such a tight budget we had no other option but to do our accomodation this way.

thorns of the future: are there artists you truly hate? why?

lucy: I don’t really hate any artist in terms of the kind of music they do like I respect all genres and whatever kind of music you wanna make even if I don’t like it. Like it’s got nothing to do with me so I don’t really care enough to HATE any artist.

thorns of the future: what is the best live show you've ever been to?

lucy: There’s this experimental electronic duo from Melbourne called Npcede. I played a show with them and they were really great. It was a guy singing and a guy playing bass. They both had like really amazing stage presence and interacted with the crowd so much. The lead singer started playing the electric guitar with a violin bow halfway through as well I loved it. I also have to mention seeing the band Film Noir in Berlin, they’re an indie rock band and the lead singer’s energy was so compelling it made the whole thing sooo immersive and fun.

thorns of the future: name one thing you really hate about australia.

lucy: Honestly I think Australia is a great place to live I think it’s beautiful, it’s diverse and it’s very liveable. If I had to say one thing I hated about it I guess just how far away it is from everything lol because it’s always so hard and expensive to travel anywhere.

thorns of the future: tell us about the weirdest thing that has happened to you as an artist.

lucy: The weirdest thing that’s happened to me as an artist is probably when someone randomly approached me on the street when I was in Tromso, Norway, and told me they recognise me and love my music. Was superrrr weird for me because Tromso is a pretty small town with not many people and it was just really random to meet someone who knows me there.

we would like to thank lucy lamb for answering all of our questions. we really appreciate you. that’s all for now.

images & videos: lucy lamb

spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/artist/1fLl0QDFau1trbJkpjvyEt

instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/luucylamb/

hyperfollow:

https://hyperfollow.com/lucylamb

peace.

[dkniade]

On the topic of how much Kaeya and The Rain & Cryo Vision part of his backstory (and a bit of Diluc, Stormterror/Dvalin, Albedo & Dragonspine OSTs, Mondstadt & Venti’s history) means to me personally. Here are some quotes from poems I’ve written, to show the slow improvement and healing.

Warning: PTSD / trauma, death ideation, blood, self-deprecation, swearing (It gets from angst to bittersweet, which is a major improvement for me.)

“In learning to associate snow not with sadness and emptiness, but rather with Kaeya himself, it’s helped greatly. This is the first winter I’ve spent with Kaeya, and many more to come, I’m sure, with each year’s storm hurting a little less.”

—“part v”, To a Certain Cavalry Captain, March 2021 (when I first started playing game)

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“And so I wish to wither away beneath the touches of orange leaves. Yet I don’t want to die.”

—“part ii”, Elegy of a Vibrant Orange Death, September 2021/March 2022 (relapse)

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“A certain vision. A certain Vision.

Beyond the dark. From here, depart.

That night. The future. That knight. The future.

To see that dawn, I’ll keep living on.

.

Until next time, towards that night

I say farewell. Goodbye, this spell.”

—“Epilogue”, Snowstorm Nocturne: Act I, September 2021 (major breakthrough, started to write about it seriously through Snowstorm Nocturne)

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“In truth, I should thank you kindly. Your Vision, in spite of everything that you’ve gone through, still glows with such fervour, like a beacon of hope in a dark, stormy night. And indeed, you’ve been like a lighthouse for me, so I just thank you for all that you are. / To me, you’re the North Star.”

—“part ii”, Today is a Day Worth Celebrating, November 30, 2021 (in-character self-insert letter to Kaeya on his birthday)

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“You want to pick a fight? Oh, I’ll give you

a fucking fight. My poetry, my sword.

My seek for answer, my lust for victory.

And you—

loneliness, ugly name, solitude, fatal voice,

I will dance your dance no longer!”

—“x. Poet’s Riposte”, Snowstorm Nocturne — Act III: Into the Storm, My Love!, December 11, 2021. (major breakthrough, misguided but more confident)

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“My reputation.

I care not, my friend,

if it shall be that of a bloodstained swordsman,

covered in powder and glaring with flames.”

—“xi. Forsaken child and his terror of storms”, Snowstorm Nocturne — Act III: Into the Storm, My Love!, December 11, 2021. (major breakthrough, misguided but more confident. Named after the Stormterror’s Lair OST “Forsaken Child of Archaic Winds” and Stormterror himself)

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“The storm may seize our breath and yet

This song shall ne’er be put to rest.”

—“Oath of Ancient Freedom”, January 2023 (based on first poem in the sword Freedom-Sworn’s Chinese lore)

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“If someone attempts to deprive you of song,

The freedom you seek, saying ‘Here you belong.’

.

Then raise your voice above the winds,

And fight back. For Mondstadt, forever.”

—“Eve of Ancient Freedom”, January 2023 (based on second poem in the sword Freedom-Sworn’s Chinese lore)

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“‘a white alchemist.’”

“‘Those yellow flowers imitate the sun’s brilliance, you know.’”

.

“‘Last time you said, Into the storm, my love!

This time I urge you: In the pursuit of truth,

know that as a flame, it can warm you, it can burn,

so choose your distance carefully.

Lest you hurt yourself again.’”

—“Taraxacum Officinale: Pursuing True Spring Days”, June 12, 2023 (alludes to Albedo’s Solar Isotoma, and Diluc as a Pyro user)

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“没想到是因为凯亚而踏到这一步…多谢。这家伙…的确配得上‘冰风剑士’之名。”

—caption of a 2021/2023 Kaeya art improvement post, July 6, 2023 (not really a poem. Practically sounds like his Ascension: Conclusion Voiceline in Chinese)