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jowritesfanfiction · 2 years

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Marty’s Driver’s Test

Fandom: Back to the Future

Ships: Marty & Doc, Marty/Jennifer, Dave & Marty, Linda & Marty, George & Marty

Additional Notes: Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Canon

Synopsis: Marty’s got his driver’s test and thinks he’s going to fail, so he turns to the company he’s got for support.

If you’d like, feel free to read it here!

Marty McFly was going to take his driver’s test today. He’d been running through how to do all the maneuvers in his head for a week, but that didn’t help his anxiety over failure. His family wasn’t much help, either.

“You’re not going to fail.” Dave said, with a mouth full of food. “It’s easy.”

Maybe for you, Marty thought.

Dave had passed his driving test with ease. That was Dave throughout his school career in a nutshell. It wasn’t until he got out of college that Dave actually had some difficulty. But that didn’t stop Dave from expecting his younger siblings to have the same ease in school that he had.

“All you have to do is drive. It’s not that different.”

Marty stared at his plate.

“What?” Dave scoffed.

“Nothing.” mumbled Marty.

Dave checked his watch. “Oh dammit, I’m gonna be late.”

Dave shoved one last helping of food in his mouth and rushed out the door.

“Where’s David?” Lorraine asked, appearing from the kitchen.

“Late for work.” Linda explained.

Lorraine sighed. “Marty, are you going to eat that food or are you just gonna stare at it?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You should eat.” Lorraine insisted. “It’ll help you for today.”

“I’ll eat it if you don’t want it.” Linda offered.

“No. I’ll eat.” Marty grumbled, stabbing at his food.

“Suit yourself.” shrugged Linda.

Lorraine retreated back into the kitchen.

“Linda?” Marty asked.

“Hm?”

“How did your driving test go when you took it?”

Linda squinted her eyes. “The examiner wasn’t paying attention most of the time and just made me drive around for a bit.”

“Oh.” Marty stabbed at his food.

“Why?”

“I just wondered.”

“Your test’s today, right?”

“Don’t remind me.” he groaned.

“You did that yourself.”

Marty sighed.

“You’re not gonna fail. It’s easy.” Linda said.

Marty rolled his eyes. “That’s what everyone says, but it doesn’t help.”

“At least you’re taking the test in the summer and not during school.”

Marty twirled his fork.

“What test?” a tired George McFly asked, stumbling into the dinning room. “School hasn’t started up again, has it?”

“Marty’s got his road test today.” Linda announced.

“Oh.” George said. “Did you want to practice before your test?”

“No.” Marty said, coldly.

“Don’t you need the car for work, Dad?”

“Oh, right…” George muttered, “After work, you can practice. If you want to.”

“My test is at one.”

“Oh.”

“You could tell us how to do the maneuvers.” Linda suggested.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Marty snapped, leaving the table.

George blinked.

“Where is he going?” Lorraine asked, returning from the kitchen.

“My room.” Marty called back, thundering off.

Maybe Jenniefer would be of some help. Afterall, she’d taken it more recently than the rest of the McFly household.

“Hi, Mr. Parker. This is Marty. Is Jennifer around?”

“Yes, I’ll get her.”

Marty waited in silence.

“Hey, Marty.” Jennifer said.

“Hey, Jennifer.” Marty said. “How are you?”

“I’m doing well. My dad’s making me go shopping for his garden with him today.”

“Didn’t the last one die because he forgot to water it?”

“Yeah.” Jennifer laughed, “He says he wants to try something new that he read in the newspaper.”

“Wonder how long it’ll take before this one dies.”

“I'll let you know.” Jennifer vowed. “But how are you?”

“I’m stressed out. I’ve got my road test today and I feel like I’m gonna fail.”

“Oh, I understand how you feel. I felt that way before I took mine.”

“Really?”

“Yup. I don’t think a single person hasn’t thought about failing.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Marty mumbled. “Hey, Jennifer?”

“Yes?”

“How was your road test?”

“The test wasn’t that hard when I took it.” Jennifer told him. “I thought for sure I was going to fail at the beginning, but it went away by the end.”

“How?”

Jennifer shuffled, “I don’t know…”

Marty looked down at his lap.

“But talking through what I was doing was helpful.” Jennifer interjected. “You could try that.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I’ll be cheering for you.” she promised.

“Thanks.” Marty breathed.

“Yeah.” Jennifer smiled through the phone, “Oh. My dad’s calling me.”

“Right. Bye, Jen.”

“Bye, Marty. And good luck.”

“Thanks.”

Marty hung up and laid across his bed. He felt his stomach twist in a knot. His throat tightened as if he was going to puke.

He wanted to puke—it’d get rid of this feeling. For a little bit at least. Maybe he'd get out of taking the driver’s test, too.

He whined and rolled on his bed.

A knock came from his door—it was his mother. Marty groaned a response.

“Your sister and I are going downtown to go shopping.” she told him. “Why don’t you go to a friend’s house?”

He didn’t feel like going to a friend’s house.

“Or you can come with us.”

Marty really didn’t want to do that.

“What do you want to do?” his mother asked in a slightly demanding tone.

“I’ll call a friend.” Marty grumbled.

“Alright. Don’t forget to be home in time for your test.”

If only he could forget about that stupid test. Instead, all he could think about were three point turns and reverse turns.

With Linda and Lorraine gone and a want—no, a need— to forget about his worries, Marty headed over to Doc, the only friend he felt he could go to.

“Marty!” Doc greeted him.

“Hey, Doc.”

“Hello, Marty.” Doc greeted before adding, “Is everything alright?”

“I don’t really wanna talk about it.” Marty mumbled. “Can I just watch you work?”

“Sure.” Doc said, letting Marty in.

Marty took a seat on the table. Doc began working on whatever invention he was working on and was talking to himself.

“That should go there…nope. That’s the wrong one. This one should be…here…” Doc droned.

Marty sat, watching Doc. “What’re you working on?”

“My biggest invention yet!” Doc announced. “If it works, that is.”

“You don’t think it’s gonna work?”

“Well, I hope it does, but it’s been difficult trying to make it work.”

“How?”

“Well, considering something like this has only been thought of on a theoretical level—”

“No. That’s not what I meant.” Marty clarified, “How do you make sure it’ll work?”

“Ah.” Doc nodded, “Well, lots of failed tests and a little faith.”

“Faith?” Marty asked, incredulous. “How can you have faith if you keep failing?”

“Because failure isn’t a full stop. It lets you know you can keep going and keep learning.” Doc answered.

“Tell that to my teachers.” Marty sighed.

“Is that what’s bothering you, Marty?”

“Sorta. Not really.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Doc offered, still working.

“Not really. I just want to listen to you work.”

“Alright.” Doc returned and went back to muttering to himself.

Neither Marty nor Doc said anything to each other. The only sounds that filled the garage were that of Einstein’s heavy breathing and Doc’s occasional tinkering.

Marty’s leg bounced and he looked down at his watch. 10:57:55. 10:58:38. 11:01:22. 11:01:54. 11:02:01. 11:02:6…

“Doc?” Marty blurted.

“Yes?”

“Are you ever scared you’re going to completely fail?”

“All the time.” Doc declared.

“Really?”

“Absolutely.” Doc admitted, “I didn’t want to start this project because I was worried about failing myself and proving everyone else right.”

“How’d you get yourself to do it?” Marty asked, timid.

“I told myself, ‘what the hell’ and did it anyway.”

Marty half laughed.

“I’m scared I’m gonna fail.” Marty said.

Doc looked back at Marty. Marty had moved from the table to a chair and was resting his head on it.

“I have a road test today and I can’t help but feel like I’m gonna fail.”

Marty looked up at Doc, who was working, but was still listening attentively to Marty.

“Look, I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help it. It’s embarrassing being the only 16 year old guy who doesn’t have a license. I don’t wanna be left behind.”

“Everyone gets through life at their own pace, Marty.” Doc assured him.

“But Dave and Linda and Jennifer passed the first time.”

“Because that was the time for them.”

“They can drive. You can drive. Even my dad somehow did it! My dad who gives up on everything!” Marty blurted. “Maybe I’m just destined to fail.”

“That’s not fair to you.” Doc said pointedly, “You can’t expect yourself to fit in someone else’s timeframe. Besides, nothing in life has a set timeline of when it needs to happen—if at all. You have all the time in the world to get that license.”

“Unless I die before I get it.”

Doc looked at Marty and raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, okay. I’m just being a little dramatic.” Marty confessed. “But I’m not totally wrong. I could die right before my driver’s test.”

“Marty…”

“Fine. That’s ‘statistically improbable’ or whatever. You can spare me the lecture.”

Doc nodded.

Einstein padded over to Marty and rested his head on Marty’s leg. Marty began petting Einstein behind his ear. Marty started to tear up.

“If I fail, I’ll have failed everyone.” Marty sighed.

Doc stopped working. “You won’t have failed me.”

“What?” Marty sniffled.

“You won’t fail me.” Doc promised. “That’s everyone minus one.”

“But I’ll still feel like I did.”

Doc paused for a moment.

“Marty, do you know how I actually got to have faith in myself?”

“No.” Marty said, wiping his face. He sat up and looked at Doc.

“I remembered something my father used to tell me. Now, I’m giving it to you.”

Doc rummaged through the piles on the table to find a pen and paper. In large, quick strokes, Doc wrote down on a scrap of paper: “If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.”

“Remember, Marty,” Doc said, handing the paper to him, “whatever happens today is the right outcome for you. It doesn’t matter when anyone else did.”

“Thanks, Doc.” Marty smiled, pulling Doc into a hug.

#bttf #back to the future #bttf fic #marty mcfly #doc brown #ao3 author #ao3 #ao3fic #jennifer parker #george mcfly #lorraine baines #linda mcfly #dave mcfly #original fanfiction #oneshot fic

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nihils-trolls · 2 years

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So What Is The Plan?

Mayara Khepar, Allaik Tentau | Moxie’s Smithing n’ Arms Google Doc Link | Previous Related Drabble

“Y’know, I don’t think I’ve actually been inside your new shop. Weird, huh?”

“Not really, given your uh, predicament, I guess? If anyone saw ya’ though, you’d be screwed. Don’t need more flies hoverin’ around this place.”

“Relax, doll. Y’ worry too much. But I did check already- we’re all good. May have a few eyes on this place, but not now. That’s why I chose this night.”

The explanation does little to assuage the concerns Maya has, but what else is she supposed to say? Silence fills the normally raucous workshop space the two are occupying. They seem to have a thing for creating such an awkward moment between each other. Fortunately, Mayara is the one who speaks up this time.

“Doll?” Mayara scoffs. “That’s a new one,” she says before promptly returning to finish the piece she was working on.

It was almost done, and going towards a deal she made not too long ago. It was originally just supposed to be a standard project, but for some reason she started putting a lot more effort into it. Guess he’s getting a steal, comparatively, she thinks. Considerin’ I haven’t asked for anything yet.

“What’cha got there? Looks… old fashioned. Like one of those revolvers from a western.” Al peeks over at her worktop as she burns a design into the grip of said revolver.

“Nothin’ for you. Gimme a sec, and I’ll put this away. Just needed the momentum to finish up.”

“Don’t want it anyway. Still happy with the other one I got from ya’.” He waits somewhat impatiently as Maya puts her tools away. There’s important things they need to talk about and get set up. “So, I noticed y’ managed to get the uh, errands all ran.”

She looks over at him with a particularly neutral expression. “Guess so. The real question is, did it affect his business? Can’t really tell just from fucking shit up.”

“Oh, trust me. It did. Even overheard a conversation. ‘Take care of your little ghost problem, and maybe then we can work something out!’ Mar’s absolutely livid. Distributor wants nothin’ to do with ‘im.”

Now that puts a smile to Maya’s face. “Good, then I have his attention.” She motions him over to the center workbench, which had been cleared of tools and miscellaneous debris. Instead, laid on the table was a map with various locations marked and circled. “Part one, ruin his reputation and completely fuck his business partners over- done.”

“Heard that. Guess we’re movin’ on to the next part, eh?” Allaik points down at one of the marked locations.

“Part two. Sabotage. Chrome’s got two other small warehouses across the city. We destroy the supply, maybe take the whole building down with it. I already know what you’re gonna suggest, but for that you’re gonna need somethin’ that burns a lot hotter than gasoline.”

“Way ahead of ya’. Already got my eyes set on a sizable supply of flash powder. Or as I should call it, thermite. That stuff should do the trick, and we’ll just disable the fire suppressants while we’re there.”

Al looks almost… impressed. Maya’s not usually one to take initiative like that, or to plan things so far in advance. That’s one of the reasons he was here. “Okay, well ‘s soon as you get a hold of it, we can get that part set up. Don’t wanna do it too soon, otherwise it’s more likely that someone’ll find it-”

“-Yeah yeah, and that’s the last thing we want. I know. And you’re the one who said I worry too much, doll.” Her laugh is apparently contagious, as Al chuckles along with her.

“Fuck, when you say it, it just sounds weird. Don’t ever say that again.”

He sighs, catching his breath and returning to the matter at hand. “There’s no real time limit, but there is a night that most of the lackeys’ll be out. Probably our best night to make the point. You got ideas?”

She pauses for a moment, looking over to the corner where a small, four-legged robot was charging. “Yeah, kind of. I’ve got a ton of throwable and remote choke bombs for a decent cover. That’ll let ‘im know it’s me who’s there at least, as well as give me some room to work.”

“Fire won’t work with the choke bombs, though,” Allaik points out.

“Yeah, but we’re not burnin’ this one down, are we? It’d be fun, I admit. But there’s something in there that I want- something you can’t grab for me. That’s why you’re gonna plant these around instead.”

Mayara hands him a box- kind of small, but no shorter than his forearm. Upon peeking inside, Al sees it’s a box with small, flat disc-like devices. They’re snuggly fit into foam to avoid jostling, which means they’re somewhat delicate.

“Maya. What the fuck are these?”

“Controlled demolition explosives. Just plant those around on major supports, the whole building’ll crumble apart. Careful not to shake those around too much, don’t need my workshop blowing to pieces for a second time-”

“Second??-”

She makes a sharp noise to cut him off, and continues. “Not what you should be worryin’ about. You’re the one who wanted to burn all the hideouts down-”

“-Excuse you, arson was your brilliant idea-”

“Anyway,” she cuts off again, “that’s the best way to’ make sure what I want from there survives. Do not put a charge close to where my old shop was. ‘Kay?”

Allaik is just baffled by the request, along with the fact that these devices are supposed to be strong enough to bring the whole place down. However, he doesn’t say no. He tucks the box away into his modus, and shakes his head.

“I knew you were fucking crazy. What’s even there that you want so badly?”

“What.”

“What?”

Maya looks him dead in the eye. “...None of your business. I have my own secrets to keep, and you got yours. Just don’t need anyone seein’ it other than me- and don’t, go looking for it. That’s a threat.”

He returns The Look. “Fine. Whatever. Don’t know what’s so fucking important to you there, but I can appreciate you not diggin’ into my business well enough.” He mumbles under his breath. “Askin’ me to fuckin’ blow the place to bits. Okay,”

“Anything else you needed from me this wonderful evening, Allie?” Mayara smirks. She knows he hates that nickname.

“Fuck off, Khepar,” he chuckles. “Naw, I think that pretty much covers it, other than specifics. I’ll keep in touch though.”

“You better.”

Before he makes it out of the back door, Al turns around to face Maya again. “-And hey, try not to get yourself killed, yeah?”

“Haven’t killed me yet, and I don’t plan on dyin’ anytime soon. Now get the fuck outta my shop before someone sees ya’.”

#nihil writes #mayara stuff #allaik #operation: shove it #<- wow! it has a tag now #and for the mention #chromatics #here I go posting things at 2 in the morning again :)

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thekaijudude · 9 months

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Ok, so what kind of power-ups would it take for the entirety of canon to defeat the Dehanatian Army?

Btw, the Dehanatian Army is… absolutely CRAZY, even as far as fanfiction’s concerned. I mean, despite the fact that the way I plan for them to be beaten in my story is with an army described as consisting of “every iteration of every form of every Ultra Warrior and every Absolutian Warrior that has ever existed in the multiverse” as well as every Ultra Series defense team ever, they’d still put up quite the fight due to their numbers and the strength of an individual foot soldier of this army (the weakest ones are around the level of GingaVictory, the strongest are around Ultra Brother Level).

But yeah, let me break that whole statement down for you: let’s use Zero for an example. This army’s not fighting Zero’s base form, it’s fighting all of the forms he’s ever had in my multiverse. On top of that, it’s fighting a version of each of those forms from every year since he gained them. So they’re fighting several thousands of every form of Zero. And yes: on top of just Zero, they’re doing the same with every Ultra and Absolutian warrior that’s ever existed. That includes those who’ve been long dead and those who still have a long way to go in life. Plus, on top of all that, you even have every defense team.

We’ve already talked about who’s in charge of the Dehanatian army: Dehanatis. However, I’ll send you the link to his doc again. Just know he’s planned to fight Ultraman Milave Perfection Mythical, Ultraman Constelas Beyond, and Ultraman Ignitious Solar State to a near perfect standstill and is only defeated with the aid of a heavily buffed Absolute Tartarus (who had just gotten back from sacrificing himself to summon that insane army) and the light of an energy source I’ve named the Multiverse Firmament (which is basically my take on the Eternity Core).

As for the scaling of Milave Perfection Mythical, Constelas Beyond, and Ignitious Solar State, I’ve sent you information in regards to them, too.

Oh, also, don’t use Zhrodulus in this: Dehanatis is already a ridiculously overpowered threat in base form, so there’s no need for that form to be included.

Youre asking a pretty weird question tbh.

Let me explain why.

Firstly, we can obviously see that yr OC is multiversal level, and no one in canon has demonstrated any feats on this level, with the best known feat being of course King fusing with the entire Side Space Universe (Lets just say he's Universal level for the sake of argument)

Secondly, restricting to canon means that u also cant bring in potentially beings that are potentially higher than the Legendary Ultras (eg Power Sources).

Thirdly, theres no powerup we've seen thus far that allows any Ultra to close this gap in power. iirc the best powerup Ive ever noted and explained before was the "Potential Unleashed" form that Ken had when he wielded the Ultimate Blade, which I calculated, grants about 30 000 years of M78 power growth, or a power multiplier of around 10^9 - 10^12 x base power. But we've only seen this work on the Ultra Great War Era Ultras.

iirc, the lowest Multiversal level for powerscaling is Low Multiversal, which the character can destroy from 2-1000 Universes, which is what im gonna put yr OC in since u brought in multiversal feats here (Gonna highball this yr OC abit cause i wanna sidestep the question of the extent of dimensional manipulation that u brought in as well). In contrast, canon has thus far only demonstrated Universal level feats

So clearly if we stick to canon, this would be an easy win for yr OC, and theres no known powerup that we know of in canon that could balance out the scales here. Which means the only way to actually answer this question is to go beyond canon to postulate, which is why yr question is weird cause ill have to go beyond canon to answer this question, or else there simply is no answer due to canon.

With that being said, theres a few ways I can approach this question:

Firstly, by extrapolating canon. Recall King is at 10^90 NG, if we assume that this is the minimum required power level to destroy say 1 Universe, the next known strongest is Noa, being 10^15 x stronger than King, therefore being able to destroy 10^15 Universes, this places Noa in Solid Multiverse Level (or 2B in powerscaling terms). Means we already have an existing member of canon that can hold his own against your OC. But this then becomes a discussion of who can manipulate/destroy to a greater extent, which is a very difficult question to answer cause recall that in the first place, we dont even have a solid Universal feat from canon (which im extrapolating from in the first place), and neither do you have so for your OC.

Another way we can approach this under the same category is of course to include the other postulated beings that are stronger than Noa that are in canon, such as VoL, Ultra Mind, Plasma Spark, Radical Destruction Bringer etc, but the only one that I am able to actually calculate is the DoL, being at 10^9000 NG, but itll just lead to the same undefined conclusion as above, but this just provides another perspective.

Secondly, by sticking as close to canon as possible, while im very sure Legendary Ultras surely have access to greater forms than what we see them portray (they have 300 000+ years of battle experience so of course), I wanna stick to known powerups for now, or else the entire answer would just be AU-based, not grounded in canon. We can simply just use the greatest canonical powerup that I pointed out above, that being the Ultimate Blade and assume it also works on Legendary Ultras, say Noa (whos the oldest and thus, assumed to be the strongest), whos at 10^105 NG, with the Ultimate Blade, this gives a resultant of 10^114 - 10^117 NG. Tho, this still gives the same result as the first point.

Another possibility is more ridiculous tbh as its mainly just testing the limits of the technology Ultras use to power themselves up. For example, theres no known canonical limit as to just how many of say Ultra Cards Orb can fuse to continuously give a stronger and stronger fusion, Like yeah sure itll take ALOT to reach even say Universal level, but considering that theres countless Ultras across the Multiverse, its theoretically possible? But of course its ridiculous nonetheless. Same idea with Ultra Overlapping, Ultra Fusion, Fusion Rise, pure fusion etc.

Lastly, is of course going into AU powerups, which tbh I dont wanna go there cause theres no point discussing this as one can always come up with a powerup thatll somehow bridge the power gap. But unlike the rest of the previous possibilities, this is the only one that could give a definitive answer to your question. Because to sidestep the discussion of which 2B-scaling (or 2A) is greater than the other, we just simply need to come up with a powerup to definitively place a canon being on Tier 1 at Extradimensional level, cause we can then say that itll definitively trump any Tier 2.

So yeah, stuff gets really insane and difficult to discuss on Universal scales and beyond, especially when we dont have solid feats from canon on this scale in the first place, which is why u cant really expect good answers that are based in canon cause your question premise wouldnt even be answerable without me making so many assumptions and large extrapolations

Thanks for the question!

#ultraman #asks

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morelikedoccock · 3 years

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Just tldr for the current situation, and this will be the last I post about it other than to answer nice asks:

Long story short, I was modding for a big doc ock discord for a while. Did all the mod stuff, trying to uphold the rules and keep people safe and happy, keep minors away from the NSFW content, etc. People weren’t happy with anything we did no matter what, so we managed to get on some peoples’ bad side. 3 mods stopped being active, 2 left, and me and the other 2 were left with over 350 people to try and moderate by ourselves. Got tired of the rudeness and constant mess, and got stressed and anxious about the situation, so I eventually decided to leave, and the others did as well for more or less the same reasons.

The people who didn’t like us sent me those nasty anons. I happen to know who one was and I’m not even mad about it coming from them, I’d expect nothing less🤷🏽

So yeh, I’m back to being free and not being responsible for a server I didn’t even make🙌🏼 and thank you to all y’all who’ve sent me nice asks and messages in response, y’all are lovely and appreciated and you’ve made my night a lot better❤️❤️❤️

#cerbin speaks #discourse #cerbin rambles #I’m sending y’all nice people respectful and platonic hugs #I’m genuinely sorry for this discourse all y’all who were just trying to vibe in the server #these people were telling suicide jokes and mysogony jokes and basically harassing people and showing doxxing behavior #it was not comfortable for anyone who witnessed it and again I’m sorry for that #I do genuinely still love Otto and I really hope y’all can find good spaces to enjoy him too #and once again friendly reminder that real life is more important than the internet #I’m not going to fuck up my day to day life with stupid discord drama anymore #I’ve got my housemates to hang out with and my parents to visit and my chickens to hug #I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I just wanna talk about doc ock with decent people who also still like him #so yeah I’ll stop putting this on y’all’s dashes and resume the regularly scheduled doc ock content #also I’m going to bed cause it’s fucking 3am again

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tennelleflowers · 2 years

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Rewriting “The Power of Three”-The Sight (text version)

Okay, I said I would attempt to organize a written version of my rewrite here for you guys, so here it goes! I know it’s been a while and I should’ve done this much sooner, but it’s just a lot to organize and go through. A lot of my ideas were written over several different docs before they went into the final script, so this will be an attempt to show you guys what I took down for notes, what I wanted to change/fix/explore, and then what I wrote in the end.

I’m gonna break this up by book because this is already gonna be long. Of course if you just wanna hear all of it, go watch my video: https://youtu.be/D0G_40Q4A_o

I know I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Feel free to use any of my ideas to write your own fanfic or whatever. I have 0 plans to ever actually write this, so have at it. My video was my way to talk about my frustrations with the arc and where I would’ve liked to see it go instead.

I also want to emphasize that my main goal with these “Rewriting” videos is to try to stay AS CLOSE to canon as I can, while still finding ways to make the books more enjoyable (to me, at least). Which was a huge challenge for this series because, to be frank, not a lot happens, and a lot of the things that do happen don’t add up to much. And that’s a big problem. So I had to invent more exciting scenarios/explanations of events to build to a climax that I felt would still be in the spirit of the original books and lead into Omen of the Stars without much changing. Of course, my version of PoT does end up making some big splashes to the canon by the end of it, but I think overall it is still in line with the general themes the arc presented us.

Let’s get started with some of my original notes when going into this rewrite for ‘The Sight’:

Rewriting PoT

Goals/Things to keep in mind:

-Keeping the 3 as POV’s for each book. It’s their story, so Jay, Holly, and Lion should get equal development and screen time. Always ask: How does this make x character grow? How does this change their group dynamic? How does x’s growth affect the world around them? If I can’t answer these questions about each of them, I need to think about it more.

-Find a way to tie each story together by the end. Most books will be structured with the three feeling isolated or separated from each other, but the end should find a way to bring them back together: for better or worse. Each book should also feel like a milestone in them becoming more powerful. They need to level up at a consistent rate.

-Moving the plot forward quicker, with Long Shadows/Sunrise happening mid series

-Hollyleaf being “evil” for the second half of the arc, with Sol as the main antagonist

-Make Sol an interesting antagonist, somehow

-What the fuck am I going to do with the Tribe stuff for this arc??? Hhh…I’ve got plans for it in OotS, but I think scrap all but the bare minimum of it in this arc and use it as foreshadowing for OotS.

-Giving all 3 cats more authority so their powers actually come across as scary to outsiders

-Can’t keep this one as canonical as the Rewriting New Prophecy video, bc the problems with PoT are more of a direct result of the slow paced storytelling, verus NP where the main problem was *how* the story was told

-Will still try my best to keep things canonical, but events from Omen of the Stars can be used and shuffled in as well. Since these series are so closely linked, rearranging these events could help build narrative tension.

-Kill Firestar in Long Shadows. It would be much more meaningful here, especially if we build a relationship between him and the Three. Huge power dynamic shift and allows the Three to actually stand a chance at becoming “dangerous prophecy cats”

-No prologues, only epilogues. Making this a series that makes you ask questions at the end. You get a satisfying conclusion in each book, but the epilogue fuels the mystery and tension of anticipation for the next book.

The Sight

What happens canonically:

Jay, Holly, and Lion are apprenticed

Jay wants to be a Warrior but bc of his blindness is forced to be a Medicine Cat

Holly wants to be a Medicine Cat because of the power it gives her, but switches to Warrior when she realizes she’s bad at it

Lion is big dumb lad who wins fights, loves his dad, and hates Breeze

Graystripe comes back with Millie

Cat Olympics

*indicate who is the focal character of the book. Each book focuses on each character, but each book highlights 1 moreso than the others

How could we improve (?) this:

Jay*- Instead of wanting to be a warrior, Jaykit just wants to find a way to be an active member of the clan, because the clan has basically decided to keep him a kit longer than Holly and Lion, with the implication that he’ll be moved to the Elders den eventually and never be given the opportunity to train. Some clan cats (Thornclaw, Spiderleg) resent Jay and say things like “he’s using valuable resources” blah blah blah, but on the other side, Firestar and others say Jay is part of the clan just like any other cat but don’t allow him to do anything. Brightheart stands up for Jaykit and begins training him privately. After a while, Jay realizes he wants to be a medicine cat and Brightheart helps him learn the territory and how to care for herbs so he can prove his worth to Firestar and Leafpool for the job. Jay’s powers are starting to emerge. He can feel the emotions of the clan and how they resent and pity him and this makes him bitter. StarClan, at least, encourages Jaykit to continue pushing to become a Medicine Cat.

Holly- Mostly stays the same. Note that when she is a Medicine Cat apprentice, she feels ostracized from the other TC apprentices, this builds up as time goes on and she gets more frustrated with MC duties.

Lion- Focus more on the apprentice dynamics. The other apprentices are jealous of Lion for picking things up so quickly, and bc he isn’t humble about it. He also trains in the Dark Forest and loves being better than everyone else at fighting, although he feels guilty for talking to Tigerstar and Hawkfrost. He tries to find comfort in Holly and Jay, but both are bitter towards him as well. Holly wants to be better friends with the other apprentices and Jay is bitter about not becoming an apprentice at all. Lion could even be feeling pity towards his brother that Jay calls him out on.

Mid-book Graystripe comes back. (Maybe Graystripe and Millie come back during a normal day, Lion attacks them and expects to be praised for defending the border, but everyone is horrified he hurt Graystripe. This is part one of Lion’s wake up call.) This whole book is about figuring out where you fit in. After seeing the clan struggle with where Graystripe fits back into TC life, Holly and Jay finally get to do their switcheroo and Lion realizes he’s been a bit of a show-off/jerk to the other apprentices and stops that behavior but instead starts to become withdrawn.

End the book in a similar fashion, with the all day Gathering and the climax with Breeze almost dying before Jay and Lion save his ungrateful punk ass.

Epilogue: Firestar gets the Power of Three prophecy

Okay! So those were most of my notes specifically about how I wanted to handle this book and now here’s my actual script for the video:

So, in my rewrite, instead of wanting to be a warrior, Jaykit just wants to find a way to be an active member of the clan, because the clan has basically decided to keep him a kit longer than Holly and Lion, with the implication that he’ll be moved to the Elders den eventually and never even be given the opportunity to train. Hollypaw and Lionpaw get apprenticed while Jaykit stays in the nursery. Some clan cats (like Thornclaw and Spiderleg) resent Jaykit and say things like “he’s using up valuable resources” “He doesn’t contribute anything to ThunderClan”, which is horrible, but on the other side of things, Firestar and his family say that Jaykit is part of the clan just like any other cat but don’t allow him to do anything.

In the midst of all this, Brightheart stands up for Jaykit and begins training him privately. After a while, Jay realizes he wants to be a medicine cat and Brightheart helps him learn the territory and uses her past Medicine Cat training to show Jaykit how to care for herbs so he can prove his worth to Firestar and Leafpool for the position. From the start of all this, Jaykits powers are starting to emerge. He can feel the emotions of the clan and how they resent and pity him and this makes him bitter and gives him all his angst that we know and love him for. StarClan visits Jaykit one night in his dreams and encourages Jaykit to continue pursuing becoming a Medicine Cat.

Now during all of this, of course, Hollypaw is training with Leafpool. For the time being, this mostly stays the same as the book. With a slight addition that when she is a Medicine Cat apprentice, she feels ostracized from the other ThunderClan apprentices. She doesn’t get their in-jokes and feels like she’s being left behind. This builds up as time goes on and she gets more frustrated with Medicine Cat duties. It’s not bringing her the glory, recognition, or satisfaction she thought it would.

For Lionpaw, I want to focus more on the apprentice dynamics and give Lionpaw a bit more character development. Reminder: the apprentices around this time are Berrypaw, Hazelpaw, Mousepaw, Cinderpaw, Honeypaw, and Poppypaw. The other apprentices are jealous of Lionpaw for picking things up so quickly. And because Lionpaw isn’t very humble about his prowess either, they pretty quickly start to exclude Lionpaw and call him a show-off. Ashfur also turns out to be a hard mentor to please. (2 guesses as to why. And the second guess doesn’t count.) With no real friends and no Hollypaw or Jaykit to hang around either, he begins training in the Dark Forest. Tigerstar and Hawkfrost feed into Lionpaw’s ego, and in a way, are the closest things to friends that Lionpaw has made so far. As much as Lionpaw loves being better than everyone else at fighting, he does still feel guilty for talking to Tigerstar and Hawkfrost.

At his lowest point in this book, he tries to talk to Holly and Jay about his problems, but both are bitter towards him as well. Hollypaw wants to be better friends with the other apprentices so she doesn’t understand why Lionpaw can’t just get over himself and be nice, and while Jaykit understands the struggle not getting along with their clanmates, he’s still bitter about not becoming an apprentice at all, and thinks Lionpaw has it easy compared to him. Jaykit’s powers also allow him to read Lionpaw’s emotions, and Jaykit is taken aback. Unlike most of the other ThunderClan cats, who Jaykit mostly feels pity from, Jaykit realizes that Lionpaw doesn’t really have any feelings towards him whatsoever. Only apathy.

So the kids are all kinda being shitty to each other and going through A TIME.

My changes here are all done in the hopes of really putting our protagonists through some tough character development, but also hopefully foreshadow their roles for the rest of the series. Each character is going through their own problems with self-worth and handling it in different ways. Jay, Lion, and Holly start off as ambitious, but loving siblings to each other but then things quickly become complicated and messy, putting a strain on their relationship as each becomes more burdened with their own problems. They forget to care about each other.

As we get to the back half of the book, Graystripe and Millie arrive. Only this time, instead of showing up during a Gathering, Graystripe and Millie show up during a border patrol Lionpaw is on. Lionpaw is the first to notice the different scent and charges in after the intruders, attacking them without hesitation, just like Tigerstar and Hawkfrost showed him how to do. Lionpaw’s clanmates are horrified he attacked Graystripe, and this begins Lionpaw’s wake-up call that he’s been too brash and big headed. He begins to realize that the other apprentices were right about him and his ego is shattered.

As ThunderClan debates on how Graystripe and Millie are going to fit back into Clan life, this parallels Hollypaw and Jaykit problems as well. Through watching Graystripe reintegrate, Hollypaw realizes that she’d be happier training as a Warrior. And when Millie becomes part of the clan, this gives Jaykit the courage he needs to tell Firestar and Leafpool that he wants to become a Medicine Cat Apprentice and he can prove he’s capable of doing it. After all, if a former kittypet can walk into camp and become a Warrior, why shouldn’t he get a chance? Though he can feel his clanmates doubt and pity him, Jaykit also feels Brightheart’s pride and confidence in him.

Jaykit’s nerves do get the best of him a few times, and he makes a few unfortunate mistakes, but overall does the job. Firestar questions how Jaykit learned all of this, and instead of outing Brightheart, he tells Firestar and Leafpool that a StarClan warrior taught him everything. This half-truth seals the deal and Jaykit finally becomes Jaypaw, Leafpool’s Apprentice.Jaypaw feels strange, unfamiliar emotions from Leafpool and Firestar is also still strangely hesitant towards Jaypaw’s apprenticeship, Jaypaw doesn’t know what to make of these emotions other than assuming that they still don’t believe he can do it. Jaypaw burns with anger and determination but tries not to let it discourage him.

As we reach the climax of this book, the clans still go through with the all day Gathering, but this time Jaypaw, Lionpaw, and Hollypaw are enjoying the Gathering together. Before the Gathering begins the siblings have a heart-to-heart where they each apologize for not being there for each other. For the first time, Jaypaw feels his siblings look at him with pride. He confesses that Brightheart was the one who helped him learn everything. And while Lionpaw has recovered a bit from his shame of attacking Graystripe, he’s still a bit withdrawn, but Hollypaw and Jaypaw are just happy to have gotten an apology from their meat-head brother.

Another thing to note is that throughout the book, we would still get introduced to Breezepaw and Heatherpaw. Lionpaw in particular has had a few confrontations with Breezepaw. And at the end, Breezepaw still nearly dies until Jaypaw feels his distress through his power and he, Lionpaw, and Hollypaw go save him.

The clans celebrate Jaypaw, Lionpaw, and Hollypaw heroics and things end on a nice little note about finding where you belong, teamwork, and communication.

Only, now we get the epilogue. Ah ha ha! That’s right. There’s no prologue to this series, only epilogues. Firestar is receiving a dream from StarClan. Instead of any particular StarClan cat visiting Firestar, he can only explore a hostile and dark forest, and the words of a thousand ancestors cry out, “Beware. Three will come, kin of your kin, who hold the power of the stars in their paws.” Firestar wakes up in a cold sweat as he hears commotion outside his den. We, as the readers, now realize that this took place several moons ago as Firestar sees Leafpool and Squirrelflight walk into camp with Jaykit, Hollykit, and Lionkit as newborns and Firestar looks on with uncertainty.

Okay, that was a lot of set up, and some definite changes, but I’m hoping that all of this will strengthen the narrative and characterization, AND give us some juicy foreshadowing of things to come.

#warriors #power of three rewrite #warrior cats #the sight #jayfeather #hollyleaf #lionblaze

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hellfireclub-at-thebau · 3 years

Note

Hi Haley! I challenge you to use the "The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It's actually safer to kiss," quote and "Okay, so do it, doc."

YES YES YES

(Also don't judge me this is my first smut)

Office Hours (18+)

Summary: Things get hot and heated when reader challenges Professor Spencer Reid’s authority, so Spencer teaches reader a lesson on who really has the power.

Content Rating: Smut

Content Warning: mentions of serial killers, graphic depictions of animal death, slight angst, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, degredation, flirting, oral sex (giving and receiving), fingering, choking, spanking, cursing, pet names, creampie, cursing, public sex, orgasm denial

Word Count: 2.2k

I figured I would show up to his office early enough to surprise him. Our session wasn’t going to start until 6, but I think 5:45 was reasonable enough to get my things in order.

I knocked on the door as I entered, peeking in to see if anyone was there.

And there he was, Professor Reid, sat at his desk with a pile of essays and paperwork, reading as fast as I could practically blink. He looked up at me with disdain, as if he never wanted me to show up at all.

“You’re early.” He sighed, before returning to his stack of paperwork.

“And? Early is on time. On time is late.” I stated, closing the wooden door and making my way down to one of the desks that sat in front of his. Setting my bag down onto the desktop, I rummaged through it to get my notebook for his class, the blue cover shining in the fluorescent lighting above us.

Sitting down, I looked up to glance at my professor, who was still reading through his other students’ essays from the week prior.

“I still can’t believe you read that fast.” I said.

“There’s a lot of things about me that you underestimate, Miss Y/L/N.” He said coldly, not daring to look at me.

I bit the inside of my lip, opening my notebook to find the next blank page. The page next to it was my list of ideas for the final essay. He wanted us to find a certain crime or serial killer, and connect it to the court’s charges, define the charges, and perhaps, argue against them.

“Professor? I was wondering if I could write my final about the BTK?” I asked, getting up from my desk to approach him at his.

He sighed, leaning back in his chair and lightly tapping his index finger on his chin.

“The BTK? That’s very unoriginal. Find something more interesting.” He spat.

“But think about it! He spent his early days watching kittens suffocate, and when he saw his mom stuck under the couch, he became aroused! Those are classic early childhood triggers to sociopathic behavior!” I ranted, but he seemed like he had no intention of listening.

“I’ve heard it all before. Find something new.” He said,

I groaned, sitting on his desk.

“Don’t sit on my desk, Y/N.” He ordered.

“Could I work on the Gypsy Rose Blanchard case? Munchausen by proxy has become a lot more common these days.” I said.

“Still not going to impress me.” He said flatly.

“You think I wanna impress you?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“Based on how desperate you are, I would say yes.” He shrugged, leaning forward on his chair.

I furrowed my eyebrows, my knuckles turning white. “I’m not desperate. I just want a good grade.” I growled.

“I am just surprised you haven’t whored yourself out for me yet.” He said, a smile on his face.

Did he really just say that?

“Come on, I’ve seen how you talk to these young men in my class. You are no stranger to the sexuality you exude, and I’ve noticed you’ve used it as a tool of manipulation.” He explained.

“You profiled me?” I asked, almost yelling at this point.

“Don’t get a tone with me, young lady.” He spat, now standing up from his chair, and getting close to me.

There was a moment of silence as we both stared at each other with daggers in our eyes. I could see every detail etched into his skin, every scar, freckle, and wrinkle he had endured. But I could tell he was seething with anger, or perhaps, lust.

But then again, so was I.

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll spend the rest of this study period silent, if you stop acting like an asshole to me in class.” I whispered, putting my hand out for him to shake.

“I don’t need to make a deal with you to get you to shut the fuck up. Besides, the number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It’s safer to kiss.” He whispered as well.

Was he testing me? Fine. Two can play this game.

“So do it, Doctor.” I practically spat, before his large hands grabbed my face and pulled me in for the roughest kiss I had ever endured.

His lips were soft, but he kissed me with a hunger I had never experienced before, to the point where I almost lost my balance. My arms instantly wrapped around his neck, which deepened the kiss, while his tongue licked my lip for entrance, battling mine for dominance.

His teeth grazed my bottom lip as he kissed me, almost too roughly. His hands traveled down to my waist, where he pushed me up and onto the desk, in the only spot where paper had never touched it.

He seemed like he knew what he was doing, even though he acted so much like an incel in class. He pulled my hair, yanking my head back as he attacked my neck, kissing it roughly before finding the most sensitive spot, sucking and biting it roughly. I couldn’t help but grip his hair as he did this, my center getting wetter by the second.

He pulled off of my neck in order to fix his belt. “You enjoying this? Do you enjoying knowing that when you walk back to your dorm, everyone will know you’re a fucking whore?” He spat, stepping out of his brown pants, leaving him in his gray boxers.

“Of course I do. I wouldn’t be a slut if I didn’t.” I said sliding off the desk to get onto my knees.

He pulled down his boxers, letting his erection spring out and slap against his stomach. He was bigger than I expected him to be, and thicker too. My mouth watered at the sight, and my cunt throbbing at the thought of him pounding me with his cock.

I began to stroke his cock, but he slapped my face and pulled my hair to make me look at him. I was surprised at first, but I didn’t realize how much it turned me on.

“No hands. If you use your hands, I won’t pound that pretty little pussy of yours.” He ordered, tapping the head of his cock on my face.

I stuck out my tongue and began to lick his shaft, leaving small kisses as I traveled to the tip of his head. I spat a large amount of saliva on his cock, before beginning to take him fully in my mouth, not daring to stray from full eye contact.

I began to slowly tease him, starting slow as I bobbed my head up and down. I reached the end of my limit, and began to gag. He closed his eyes, gritting his teeth as he leaned his head back in pleasure.

Knowing the men I’m fucking around with are enjoying my sexual nuances turned me on, so I began to go faster on his length, spit building up at my bottom lip. His hips bucked as I blew him, grabbing my hair to push me farther down his length. Tears welled in my eyes as the back of my throat was hit by his large cock.

He growled, forcing my mouth off of his cock. Picking me up by the hair, he threw me on the desk again, grabbing my shirt and pulling it off of me. I started to pull down my leggings, revealing the bareness of my skin underneath.

“No panties? I knew you were a fucking whore.” He growled, ripping my leggings off of me and spreading my legs open.

The glistening shine of my moist cunt was a sight he obviously enjoyed, as he ran his fingers down my slit. I shivered, my inner thighs twitching at the feeling.

He pushed on my chest, implying that I should lie back on his desk, and I did so, taking off my bra in the process. He slapped the inside of my thigh, making me whine in both pain and pleasure.

Slowly but surely, he slipped two slender fingers inside my cunt, getting a feel for the tightness that surrounded him.

“Such a tight little pussy. I’ve never met a whore with such a tight little cunt.” He growled, beginning to pump his fingers in and out of me. My back arched instinctively, throwing my head back as my cunt tightens with each thrust of his fingers.

It wasn’t until his mouth was on my clit that I finally let out a moan. “Fuck, Professor…” I moan, looking down to look him in the eye as he sucked on my center.

He ripped his mouth off my clit. “Call me ‘Sir.’” He ordered, before kissing me roughly to cover my own moans of pleasure.

I held myself up by my core, holding onto the man who held the key to my orgasm. “Fuck me, Sir. Or are you not man enough?” I teased, licking my lips. He pulled his fingers out of me, taking the same hand and wrapping it around my neck, choking me lightly.

“Turn around.” He spat. His dominance shook my legs with pleasure, the feeling of my cunt throbbing against his cock being the ultimate goal.

I slightly hopped off the desk, turning around and bending over it. He lightly rubbed my asscheek, letting the tips of his fingers trail over my delicate skin. This made goosebumps appear on my skin, but the feeling was quickly ruined with a heavy smack.

I whined, going to pick myself up to face him. He took the back of my head and pushed it against the desk, making me grunt in frustration.

“Take it, you whore. A bitch like you needs proper punishment.” Spencer grumbled.

“I’m a bitch now?” I asked.

“My bitch, Y/N. And you’ll remain my bitch as long as you’re filled with my fucking cum.” He whispered in my ear, as he slowly inserted himself in my pussy.

My back arched, my breath becoming heavier and heavier as he slowly pumped in and out of me, his hands gripping my hips tightly. I could hear his animalistic groans above me, as he started to gain speed.

“Fuck, you’re such a good little whore. Such a tight little cunt. You will never get dick like this again.” He growled, placing another loud smack on my ass.

I gritted my teeth, letting a sharp inhale replace the string of curse words I thought about saying in my brain. “Yes, Sir… I’m such a fucking whore. Your whore.” I whined, grabbing at anything on his desk that could help me grip onto the small amount of control I tried to have.

Out of nowhere, he stopped. He exited my cunt and slapped my other asscheek. “Face me. I want you to look in my eyes when you cum.” He spat, placing two more smacks onto my ass.

I nodded, getting up and sitting on the desk again, letting my back slightly rest onto the desk. He gripped my legs, wrapping them around his waist, and inserting me with more ferocity than ever. I gripped his arm, my nails scratching down his arm and leaving small red lines.

I could feel my stomach tighten, and my climax coming closer and bigger than ever. “Please Sir… Let me cum all over your cock.” I begged, now moving my hands to pull his hair.

“No. You don’t get to cum unless I say you can.” He growled, now smirking at me.

“Please Sir…” I cried out.

“No.”

I whined louder than ever, pulling his hair harder. His thrusts were sloppier now, as he was reaching his climax, but the force intensified. “Fuck!” He groaned, leaning forward to suck on the nape of my neck.

“Cum.” He whispered, my stomach now loosening and my orgasm now at its peak. He must have reached his too, as I could feel his seed spilling out of me when he exited. He looked at the work he had done, and watched his cum drip out of me.

“Get dressed.” He ordered, throwing my clothes at me. Though I was surprised that he was still an asshole to me, even after this encounter, but what did I expect? Hugs and kisses and rainbows?

I quickly put myself together, getting off of his desk. Straightening my clothes, I walked back to my desk and grabbed my bag, putting my notebook in my bag.

“Before you go…” He began, sitting down on his swivel chair.

I sighed, letting the bag rest on my left shoulder.

“The essay is due in two weeks.” He said flatly.

“But I have no topic.” I retorted.

“Do the BTK. Dennis Rader has always interested me.” He simply stated, going back to grading my peers’ essays.

I licked my lip, looking down and seeing my bra was still next to his desk.

“Keep the bra… Sir.” I winked, making my way out the door.

God, I can’t wait to annoy him again.

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid #spencer x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #smut #professor reid #requests

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love-r-boy · 2 years

Text

because of all the !! wonderful !! stuff happening, i’m giving a little non-spoilery piece from to honor the deceased, which was difficult because most of what i’ve written out is nothing but the important, big parts and i need to connect them together lol. but i’m digressing. anyway!

Marc shivers.

Mercy Hospital is cold. That’s what he remembers about it—the cold, and the smell. Musty carpet and water-stained ceilings, chalky pills and discount washing detergent. Those are the only things that cut through the haze of injections that they keep him under for, according to them, the safety of himself and others.

Too many movies, his ass.

Marc’s head spins as he tries to focus on the woman sitting across the desk from him. Doctor Ellis is the same ghostly-skinned dead-eyed woman that she’s always been. Absently, she taps her pen against her desk.

“Who am I speaking with today?” she asks.

Even if his mind wasn’t already drifting to listen to the tick of the clock, Marc wouldn’t say anything to her. He closes his eyes as the seconds pass by to the sound of drum beats that drown out her voice, and the squeak of orderlies’ shoes as they walk past the office door and the wind that howls against the window. The noise blankets him, pulling him down, urging him to rest. Just sleep, Marc. Maybe it’ll be better when you wake up. No drugs, no doctors. Wouldn’t that be nice? I’ll get us out of here eventually. Sleep, Marc.

He's startled to lucidity when his vocal cords are used without his permission. The words come out half-mumbled, half-slurred. “That ain’t something you should be saying to patients, doc. Might make them lose hope, you know?”

Marc didn’t say that, and that sure as hell isn’t Steven.

“Jake,” Doctor Ellis greets pleasantly. What had she said to make him speak up after—a glance to the clock—thirty-four minutes of a session? Whatever it was is ignored as she sorts through her papers. “Thank you for finally engaging in your treatment. Today I’d like for us to attempt to walk through some of your early memories again. Do you think we can manage that this time?”

A muscle in their jaw tenses. The room stays silent, except for all the sounds, until Jake says, “I think that you’re part of the dregs of humanity. You wanna talk about childhood trauma? Maybe you should figure out what the fuck happened to you as a kid to make you wanna work as a healthcare professional who doesn’t seem to ever heal the poor sons-a-bitches that come here!”

Jake’s voice had grown in volume until he had been shouting the last words. He falls back against his chair when he’s finished, lips pulled back into a grimace. The world began spinning halfway through his rant as he started to run out of air.

Doctor Ellis breathes in and out. She closes her manilla folder and clasps her hands on top of it. “Perhaps we could get some healing done if you ever put in the work, Jake. Instead you shove your other alters away and play the man made of stone. I have been patient for six months, waiting for you to apply yourself. Then, maybe, you could return to society.”

“We both know you’re never letting us out of here,” Jake says calmly.

Doctor Ellis smiles. “If only you haven’t proven to be a threat to yourself and others.”

“You mean the accident reports that you and your team made up?”

“That’s illegal.”

“And immoral. But they still exist despite Marc being pumped full of drugs every six hours to the point of fucking paralysis before being shoved into a room to collect dust. The only real violence is whatever half-ass treatment plan you force on all of the bastards in this piss-poor excuse of a hospital. There are people in these rooms that could have gone home months ago. Some of them, probably years. But all of us are stuck here because you won’t let us get away!”

Doctor Ellis slowly leans back in her chair, visibly unimpressed. “Are you finished making up this evil narrative in your head? The world is not out to get you.”

Jake snarls and reaches forward to clear her desk with one sweep of his arm. Papers and folders and journals scatter in a flurry; the computer rips off its wires and cracks against the floor. Marc can read Jake’s thoughts as clear as crystal. The doctor’s lack of reaction only pisses off more. He wants a fight, he wants bloodshed, he wants to bite and maim and kill. He’ll never get any of that from her, though. Not on his terms.

Her fights are always with words.

“Tell me,” she says as her eyes drift to the side thoughtfully, “do you think Marc created Jake to hide away his most violent desires, or did Jake create Marc to function as a substitute to the brother he failed to protect?”

The clock ticks. Every second is a drumbeat in their head.

“You know, Doc?” Marc says. “I think Jake was right. There’s something really fucked up about you.”

She blinks and leans forward. “Marc?”

“Look, lady, I’ll be plain. I only vaguely remember this place, but if he doesn’t like you, I sure don’t like you either. Especially not with how you talk to him. And, for the record, you’re wrong.”

“Regarding what?”

“Jake doesn’t have my most violent desires or whatever. Our violence? It’s balanced between us.”

On the ground, having landed perfectly between his feet from Jake’s earlier outburst, is a circular paperweight. Marc had watched it roll there, and now finds it a perfect time to snatch up into his hand, rising to his feet and lunging forward with the perfect blunt trauma instrument in his hand to crack across this fake doctor’s head—

If only his ankle weren’t strapped to his chair.

A shocked cry leaves his lips as his feet jump out from under him, and his head perfectly angles for the edge of Doctor Ellis’s desk. The time slows and distorts as he falls, and Marc has just enough time to think with grim humor, well, Jake, I tried.

#my writing #copying and pasting from google docs got rid of all my italics but they werent load-bearing italics so #it's fine i'll leave it like that #i am SO sleepy

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serendipitous-magic · 3 years

Note

What is your writing advice for young people who want to write fanfiction and original stories in the near future?

If this is just Way Too Much, skip to the end (#16). My most important piece of advice is there. I also happen to think #5 is pretty good.

-_-_-_-

1) Literally just write. Write whatever you want, and do a lot of it.

_-_

2) You don’t have to post everything. In fact you don’t have to post anything. You can, don’t get me wrong, but it can be intimidating to sit down and think “I will now write something that other people will see and read and judge with their eyeballs.” Because that’s probably gonna lead to nerves and writer's block. Just write down the ideas that you have, the things you want to write, whatever’s in your brain that you want to explore and expand upon and make into something. And then if you want to, share it. Or don’t share it. I have plenty of half-baked ideas and documents and random story chapters and shit hidden away on my Google Drive that will never see the light of day, for a whole number of reasons. I wanted to write it but it wasn’t ~Spicy~ enough to warrant posting, or it’s only like an eighth of a good idea, or it’s like one scene with no story around it, or it’s just something incredibly self-indulgent I just wanted to write for my own enjoyment.

Point being, don’t write for other people. Don’t write so that other people can read it; write what you want, write for yourself, and then if you want to share it, do.

_-_

3) You can pretty much ignore any and all of these for fanfiction. In fact, you can ignore pretty much any rules or guidelines you want for fanfiction. Fanfic is a sandbox. You don’t have to be a “professional writer” to post fic. No one expects you to be Stephen King or Margaret Atwood. Fanfic is just for playing in a fandom and having fun. If you wanna write a 50 chapter slow burn with very little plot aside from the OTP slowly getting to know each other, and no real stakes or central conflict, I guarantee people would read that. Really, fanfiction is the Old West of writing: lawless, wild, unpredictable, and free.

However, here are the rules you must follow:

-Separate your paragraphs. (I’m sure you know this already, but I’m gonna say it anyway just in case.) Do not post one big block of text. Make a paragraph break when someone new is talking, when the characters are in a new place, when a new event occurs that changes the scene, when a chunk of time has passed, and when there’s a major change in subject.

-I know it’s obvious, but... grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. They exist to make writing easy for readers to read, and more people will read your stuff if they don’t have to stop and try to figure out what you meant.

-Use tags and labels, as is possible with whatever site you’re using. Especially if you include possibly triggering content in your story. Again, I know it’s obvious, but it’s common courtesy. Bonus: tagging the themes and content of your story helps readers find it and read it :)

-If possible, limit the use of all-caps and exclamation marks / question marks. 99% of the time, one ! or one ? will do. If you overload the page with a lot of all-caps and long rows of exclamation marks or question marks, it hampers readability.

... That’s literally all I can think of. And, like I said, it’s all pretty basic stuff. You were probably rolling your eyes like, “Uh, yeah, Gwen, I know.” But that’s literally it. You can pretty much do whatever you want in fanfic.

That being said, here’s my advice for both fanfiction and original work...

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4) A quick and dirty rule for coming up with a plot, starting a story, keeping up pacing, or maintaining tension: figure out what dreams, desires, and goals are nearest and dearest to your main character’s heart (see #16). Then set up the main conflict to be directly in opposition to that goal. It doesn’t have to be in a tangible way, though it could be. But, if your main character wants more than anything to reach the ships on the southern coast of your world and sail to a new life, make sure the main conflict immediately prevents them from doing that - in fact, make sure to send them north. If your main character just wants to keep their loved ones safe, kidnap the loved ones. If your main character just wants to date their best-friend-turned-crush, make sure they think they have no chance - or, make them cocky about it, and make sure it makes Person B determined not to ever like them. You get it. Figure out what your character most wants, and then keep them from having that. Boom - your conflict now ties in with your character's motivation. It's like instant yeast for plots.

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5) If you’re anything like me, you want your first draft to be Good, despite all that advice about how the first draft doesn’t have to be good and it’s just to get words on the page, yadda yadda. And if you’re somewhat of a perfectionist (like myself), it’s easy to get stuck looking at a blank page because you don’t have The Perfect Words, and you want what you write to be Good the first time.

Here’s how I cheat that:

Instead of trying to write a Good First Draft from a blank page, hit the enter key a few times, skip a little down on the page, change your ink to red (or blue, or whatever - just something immediately identifiable as Not Black) and just thought vomit. Write whatever the hell you’re thinking, exactly as you think it. Don’t worry about it being readable, don’t worry about narrative flow for now, don’t worry about covering all the details, don’t worry about anything except either a) getting all the details of your idea out onto the page, whether that’s a lot or whether it’s just a sentence or two, or b) if you don’t have an idea yet, finding your way there.

Because this method is also very good for finding your way to ideas when you’re stuck in writer’s block.

Because of how human brains work, getting this stuff out onto the page - in all its messy, stream-of-consciousness glory - will likely spark more thoughts. As you write your original idea about the scene, it’ll likely spark more ideas. Creation begets creation. If you just start thought-vomiting your ideas onto the page, chances are you’ll think of more things as you go, and you’ll start filling out description or dialogue or tone or action or whatever, and pretty soon the scene starts writing itself.

Not sure where you’re going with the scene or which ideas you wanna use? Use a lot of ambivalent language in your “thought-vomit draft.” My pre-writing notes are chock-full of the words “maybe,” “perhaps,” and the phrases, “At some point...” and “...or something like that.” In this way, I don’t tie myself down to one idea; it’s just an idea, and I’m keeping it on the page in case I use it, but I might chuck it in the trash or change it or whatever.

And then, once your ideas for the scene (or story, or chapter, or whatever) are on the page, then go back to the top and start translating them into a “real” first draft. Use black ink, and start copy-pasting chunks of the thought-vomit up into the top part of the document and translating them into Draft 1. Separate out paragraphs where paragraph breaks should be. Add the correct punctuation and whatnot. Change “describe the lobby here - include potted plants, fancy carpet, blood stain, etc.” into an actual description of the lobby. Flesh it out, or condense, or whatever it needs. And if you’re still stuck, change back to red ink and ramble some more until you find a path that feels right, then plug that in. This keeps you from looking at a blank page, and it allows you to generate a kind of Draft 0.5, somewhere between a plan and a first draft.

You don’t have to use every idea. Like I said, jot down whatever comes to mind, put a “maybe” before or after it, and keep working. If the idea grabs you and you wanna keep expanding on it and exploring it, cool. If you just wanna jot it down so you don’t forget it and then move on, also cool. Red-ink draft / “thought-vomit draft” is your time to jump around in the timeline, add or finesse details at whatever point your brain moves to, etc. Don’t try to do it exactly in story order, because you will get tangential thoughts and ideas, and you will not remember to write them down five pages later when you finally get to taking notes on that scene. Trust me. On that note...

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6) Write everything down the moment you think of it. Seriously.

“I’ll remember it when I get around to writing that scene in a couple days / weeks / months (/years).”

You won’t.

Write it down.

Phone, journal, google docs - hell, my family regularly laughs at me for grabbing a napkin during dinner and scribbling thoughts down alongside pasta sauce stains.

And then, once you have it written down somewhere...

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7) Consolidate your writing ideas in one place.

Maybe this isn’t really your style, and that’s totally chill.

Buuuut, if you’re Type-A like me - or if you tend to be somewhat unorganized and you know you’ll lose track of your writing notes if they’re scattered across multiple notebooks, journals, napkins, phone notes, etc. - having one consolidated document of notes is a life saver. I keep mine on Google Docs so I can access it, add to it, and look through it for inspiration anywhere at any time. When I have one of those Shower Thoughts that I jot down on my phone or on a napkin during dinner, I set myself a reminder on my phone to type it up in my Story Ideas document later.

(Or, if the idea I had was for a story of mine that I’ve already started planning / drafting / whatever, I put it in the document for that story instead of the Big Random Story Ideas doc. You get it.)

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8) Have other ways to collect and save writing ideas, besides just writing stuff down. If you like Pinterest, make pinterest boards of your characters or stories or settings or whatever. If you’re big into playlists, make a playlist for your character / setting / story / etc. Or both. Or something else. I’m not good at drawing, but maybe you are, and maybe you like to draw your ideas. Whatever form it takes, having another way to save ideas and think about your stories is invaluable.

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9) Some writers can just start writing with no idea where the story is going, and they just kind of figure it out as they go. I envy those writers. And I do that sometimes for fanfiction, where the stakes are somewhat lower and the audience is reading more for scene-to-scene enjoyment (and to see their OTP kiss) than for a Driving And Compelling Narrative.

But here’s the thing: especially if you’re just kind of starting out, writing without some sort of plan is really, really hard, and will likely lead you into a slow, meandering narrative that will likely frustrate you.

Even if you think you’re someone that just can’t write with a plan (and again, I have the highest respect for pansters out there - I don’t know how you do it, you crazy bastards, but you keep doing you) - even if you think “I can’t work with plans, they’re too prescriptive, I just want to write and see what happens -”

Try at least making the most skeletal of plans.

Even if you have no clue what 90% of the story is, yet. That’s fine. But you need to have some idea of what you’re building to, even if that’s nothing more specific than a feeling, or a turning point for your character. Even if your entire plan for everything beyond Chapter 1 is, “At some point, Charlie needs to realize that Ed was lying to her.”

This is where those Draft 0.5 notes come in handy. Because, more than likely, working on your current scene that way will spark ideas for later scenes, which you can put down at the bottom of the document and save for when they become relevant. In my experience, the line between planning ahead and making a Draft 0.5 is exceptionally thin. One can quickly turn into the other.

If you’re really, really resistant to the idea of planning ahead, that’s okay. It’s not everybody’s style. But for the love of all that is holy, write down your ideas for future scenes, even if you’re a person that doesn’t like to plan and writes only in story order, because you will not remember that idea once you get to that scene.

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10) You don’t have to write in order.

Here’s the thing: I’m a person that can only do my Draft 1 in story order (meaning, chronological order). I just have to be in that flow; I need to write in story order for me to best channel where the character is at from scene to scene, both narratively and emotionally.

But my Thought Vomit Draft is another thing entirely. By using the brain hack of putting my notes in red (or another color, it doesn’t matter) and going down to the bottom of the document / page and taking notes there, and then integrating them into whatever plan I have, and then translating them into Draft 1 once I get there in the story - by doing that, I can get my good ideas onto the page (and expound upon them and let my muse carry me and ride that momentum while I’m in the moment of inspiration) without writing out of order.

Maybe that’s just me. But if you’re a person who really prefers to write in story order, that could be hugely helpful to you. It is to me.

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11) Emotion and motivation will do more for your story than technicalities of plot.

If your characters really care about something, and their journey through the (shaky or weak) plot is emotionally engaging, it will be a much more compelling story than a story with a “perfect” plot and unrelatable or unmotivated characters.

If your characters care about what they’re doing, and it means something to them, and their goals and actions are driven by dreams or fears or emotions that are integral to who they are, your audience will care too. If you have a perfectly crafted plot that hits all the right beats and has high stakes and fast pacing and drama - but your characters don’t connect with what’s happening in a way that’s deeply meaningful or emotional for them? You’re gonna have a hard time engaging readers.

When in doubt, prioritize character emotion and motivation over plot. Emotion is what drives story.

This power is highly exploitable. (Just look at pulp novels and shitty but entertaining movies.) You can even use it to glaze over plot holes or reinvigorate a limp narrative. Use it that way sparingly, though. It’s a band-aid, not a surgery.

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12) Evil villains are hard to write - mostly because there are very few truly evil people in the world. (There are a few. Billionaires and several big name politicians come to mind.) But by and large, there aren’t that many evil people. There are plenty of bad people, but bad people have some good in them, somewhere in there. Trying to write an evil villain is hard, because they often turn very cartoony.

Here’s a tip: it’s much easier to write antagonists who aren’t evil. Even if they’re bad people. Of course, there’s no reason you can’t write a villain that’s just truly evil - a serial killer, or an abuser, or a billionaire, or someone who legit just wants to hurt people or blow up the earth or stay in control of an oppressed population, or whatever. But chances are, it’s gonna be really hard to make them feel real, and even harder to create a plot around them that doesn’t feel forced or contrived.

Instead, try writing an antagonist / villain whose motivations and goals directly clash with your protagonist’s - but not because they want to take over the world or see people suffer. Write an antagonist who’s chaotic good, but whose perception of the situation is completely opposite from your hero’s. Write an antagonist whose only desire is to save people, and who will do anything to achieve that goal - anything. Write an antagonist who believes in the letter of the law, and will hinder and oppose the hero’s methods even if they agree with the hero’s motivation. Write an antagonist who got in way over their head and did some things they regret, and now they don’t know how to get out, and they’re doing their best but whatever they set in motion is too powerful for them to stop now.

Write villains who are human. Write a killer who thought they were doing the right thing by taking their victim out of the equation, who vomits at the sight of the body and sobs over the grave they dig. Write a government leader who truly believes she’s doing what’s best for her people in the long-term, even if it might hurt them in the short term, and is willing to endure the hatred and belligerence of the masses if it means securing what she thinks is a better future for her people. Write a teenage bully that thinks they’re the one being picked on by the world, and they’re just fighting back, standing their ground. Write a scientist who will break any code of ethics and hurt anyone he needs to - in order to bring back his baby sister from the grave, because he promised her he’d protect her and he failed. Write an antagonist who is selfish and self-centered and capricious - because in order to survive they had to look out for Number One, and that habit ain’t about to break anytime soon.

Write villains who aren’t even villains. Write antagonists who oppose the hero because of moral differences. Write antagonists who are trying to do the right thing. Write antagonists who treat the heroes with kindness and dignity and respect and gentleness.

They don’t have to be good. They don’t have to be Misunderstood Sweethearts who “deserve” a redemption arc. They can be cruel and nasty and dismissive and callous and violent and etc. etc.

Just hesitate before you make them Evil-with-a-capital-E. Because evil is hard to write, and honestly, boring to read. Flawed human beings with goals and motivations that directly oppose the main characters’ are much easier to write and much more interesting to read.

Ask why. Why is your villain trying to take over the world? What does that even mean? Are they trying to create a Star-Trek-like post-capitalism utopia, but they know that won’t happen in a million lifetimes, so they’re trying to do it by force? Are they actually super in favor of human rights, but they got very impatient waiting for the world to do anything about poverty and war, so they decided to take it into their own hands? Are they determined to fix the world - no matter the cost? Are they terrified and overwhelmed, but committed to see it through to the end? Or - maybe they’re just doing it on a dare. Maybe they don’t really give a shit about world domination, they were just a mediocre rich white guy who decided to fuck around and find out, and now he’s kind of curious how far he can take this thing. And now he’s kind of an internationally-wanted criminal, so he’s kind of stuck living on his hidden private island in his multi-billion dollar secret base, strapping lasers to sharks’ heads for the hell of it. Gross, selfish, uncaring, and dangerous? For sure. Evil? Depends on your definition. See, now we’re getting somewhere.

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13) It’s tempting to let the plot control the characters. It’s easy to drop your characters into a situation and see how they react. But here’s the thing: that doesn’t drive plot. In fact, it bogs down pacing. Instead, try to build you plot off of your characters’ actions and decisions. Let your character build their own situation. Not to say it should go they way they wanted it to go; in fact, usually, their grand plans should go to hell very quickly. But having the characters take action and make decisions, and letting the plot develop based on that, is much easier to make compelling than making a rigid series of events and then trying to herd your characters into them.

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14) Having trouble justifying a character’s actions? Consider having them make the opposite decision, or having them approach the situation in a different way. For example: you need your character to go meet the bad guy, for plot reasons, even though there’s no way it’s not a trap. If the character goes, readers are gonna be groaning with their head in their hands, because c’mon man, that was really fucking stupid. But he’s gotta go, because the plot needs that. Two ways you might handle this: a) He knows it’s probably a trap. He decides not to go. The plot conspires to get him near the villain anyway. Or, b) He knows it’s a trap. But he needs to go, for (insert reasons here). So, he approaches it in an unexpected way. He brings backup, recruiting a side character we met earlier in the story. Or he arrives on the back of a dragon, because ain’t nobody gonna fuck with a dude on a dragon. Or he goes - early, and ambushes the villain. It may work, it may not. He may get himself kidnapped anyway. But it moves the plot along without having Stupid Hero Syndrome.

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15) This is a legit piece of advice: if all of this sounds overwhelming, literally just ignore it and write what you want. For real. Writing should be fun, and every single writer operates differently. If you’re sitting here like “I’m getting stressed just reading this,” just flip me a good-natured bird and get on with your life. I promise I won’t take it personally. Same goes for literally any other writing advice you see. Lots of rules and guidelines can very quickly make anything thoroughly un-fun. Just write. If you’re passionate about it and you do it for long enough, you’ll start figuring out the tips and tricks on your own.

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16) Here’s the best piece of advice I can give you: know your characters. More importantly, know what’s important to them. Build their personality and decisions off of that, and build your plot off of their decisions.

I see a lot of character building sheets that ask a shit-ton of questions like “What’s their most prized possession?” “Do they like their family?” “What’s their favorite food?”

And while these are good questions, my problem with this type of character building is that if you start there, with the little stuff, you’re building on nothing. IMO, to make a truly strong character (not strong like Inner Strength, strong like effective), you need a strong foundation.

Here are the things you must know about your character:

a) What are their greatest fears / deepest insecurities? And I don’t mean “wasps” or “heights.” I mean the deep shit. I mean fears like “living a meaningless life,” or “turning out just like their parents,” or “that no one will ever love them,” or “being powerless.” You may say, “But they’re really scared of wasps! They fall into a wasp nest when they were little and got stung so much they almost died!” Great! That’s a fantastic bit of backstory. They should absolutely be afraid of wasps, and that should absolutely be an impediment later in the story. But dig deeper. What about that event actually scarred them? Was it the helplessness? Stumbling around, swatting at the air, not being able to do a single thing to stop what was happening to them? Was it that they were alone, and no matter how loud they screamed, no one was coming? Was it the bodily horror of feeling themself turn into an inhuman creature as they swelled up from the stings, unable to move their fingers or face normally anymore?

And don’t forget insecurities, because those factor in, too. Are they deeply insecure about their identity? Do they believe, deep down, that they’re ugly? Did they grow up poor and they’ve always been really touchy about that? Why? Dig deep. Figure out what really, really bothers them.

b) What are their hopes and dreams? What do they truly want out of life? What do they consider the most valuable to their experience here in this thing called life? Is it the freedom to forge their own path and be independent? Is it the approval of their family or peers? Is it a home? Is it knowledge, or understanding? Spiritual fulfillment? Is it deeply important to them that they contribute to their community, or protect those they love? What do they need in order to feel truly and deeply fulfilled in life?

Figure out those two things (each one encompasses several things, btw, you don’t have to stop at just one for each), and then use that to inform how they behave and the types of decisions they make within the story.

It also informs character behavior and personality.

Let’s say we have a character who’s afraid of helplessness. They’re probably gonna be the person that always wants to do something, try something, no matter how hopeless the situation seems. They’d despise just sitting and waiting, probably, because it makes them feel powerless. They might even be the person that makes rash decisions and acts impulsively and puts themself in danger unnecessarily, because in their mind it’s better than being at the mercy of fate. This is one way you could use a character’s personality to inform their decisions, which in turn helps to inform plot.

Or, let’s say we have a character whose greatest fear is being left behind or forgotten. We may have a chatterbox on our hands. They might be obnoxious. They might love the spotlight, constantly vying for attention no matter the situation, because deep down they’re so afraid that they’d be forgotten otherwise. Or, it may go the opposite way. They may be so afraid of people leaving them that they’re terrified of bothering people. They don’t want to do anything that could annoy people, anything that might give people a reason to leave them. They might be exceedingly polite, quiet, accommodating. A push-over, really.

These are two nearly opposite types of personalities, both stemming from the same core fear/insecurity. You can go a lot of different ways with it. But if you build on that strong foundation, you’ll have a strong character, and a stronger plot.

Likewise, the structure of your story can and should inform the design of these character traits. If you need your characters to team up near the end, it may be impactful if you give your main character a deep fear of commitment, an insecurity about being unwanted or left behind, and make them highly value independence and freedom. That could make their team-up for the final battle very meaningful. Conversely, you can use your character’s deepest fears and desires to help design the plot. Is your character deeply insecure about voicing their opinions or taking a stand, because of trauma they faced in the past? Make them face that. Build that into the climactic third act. Give them the big inspirational speech where they stand up and talk about what they believe to be important, what they think the group should do. And then design that character arc to run through the story, giving you more handholds and stepping stones, more pieces of foundation on which to design the plot.

In this way, character should inform story as much as story informs character. It’s a feedback loop.

Bonus: if you build your character and your plot off of each other in this way, it automatically starts to build in the foundations of that emotional investment I mentioned earlier. If your character’s decisions are based on what they most want and do not want in life, you basically have your character motivation and stakes pre-built.

Note: you need to know these things about your villain, too.

-_-_-

I’m genuinely sorry about the length of this, lmao. But you did ask.

Best of luck!

Edit: I forgot an important one:

17) Start when the scene starts and end when the scene ends.

What do I mean by that?

If your notes say “Danny asks Nicole out after school and majorly flubs it,” start the scene when Danny approaches Nicole after school. Better yet, cold-open the scene on “I was wondering if, you know, you’d wanna. You know. Hang out some time?”

Don’t start that morning when Danny goes to school, unless you’re gonna cover the school day in like one or two sentences. Don’t spend whole paragraphs going through the school day, unless it’s to cover other plot points first (in which case apply these same guidelines there), or if the paragraphs are there for a specific reason, like to illustrate how stressed he is and how it seems like every little thing is going wrong. Even then, trim the fat as much as possible. Expounding and describing everything Moment-to-moment is for the meat of the scenes, not the leading-up-to and coming-away-from.

Here’s my rule of thumb: study how and when movies cut from scene to scene. Movies have exceptionally strict, limited time for storytelling; they’re excellent examples of starting a scene when the plot point starts and ending when it’s over. If you can’t picture a movie showing everything you showed, start the scene later and end it earlier.

#asks #anon #writing advice #writing tips #writing #fanfic writing #fanfiction #character creation #plot development #character development #my advice #original writing

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nerves-nebula · 3 years

Note

hi your "hunter escapes and has a fun little camping moment" au is living rent free in my brain rn, please Please share some more thoughts and rambles about it!

ANON PLEASE- (affectionate)

you gotta understand I was not lying when I said I have 5 pages of a google doc worth of comic ideas. Unfortunately it's still kind of a mess and I'm still sorting out some of the basic dynamics of this AU. I also like the idea of keeping most of my notes and making them into their own comics/posts so idk how I feel about just saying stuff in a list AND YET.

So here's some stuff I think I can say outside of a comic?? I’ll still probably make some of these into comics/doodles, but anyway I hope this is what you were looking for.

Hunter:

Hunter gets very into studying wild magic up close, something he wasn't allowed to do much before. But now he lives in the forest surrounded by wild magic. Because of this I plan for him to discover a few glyphs on his own, like Luz does, mainly the plant one. But you’ll see how that goes later ;)

He's also still trying to cure his uncles curse. He insists he's not going to go back to Belos, but if pressed on why he's searching for a cure for a man he plans to never see again, he'll get very defensive and angry. Sometimes it's not as easy as "I'm leaving and never coming back." sometimes you still wanna help the people who hurt you :P and THAT one is from personal experience

Hunter takes a while to really get into the whole “I’m on my own and can do whatever I want” thing, but I plan for him to mess around with his presentation once he gets more comfortable.

Rascal helps him change his eye bandages! I haven’t decided if his eye is damaged yet or just the area around it tho so stay tuned.

Hunter will often assign himself “missions” to go on because he doesn’t know what else to do with his free time. He knows he doesn’t technically have any deadlines or stuff like that anymore but he gets stressed not having a goal to strive towards so to cope he just.. gives himself arbitrary goals !

Funfact! This is not the first time Hunters pissed Belos off so bad that he’s fled the castle for a moment. But it IS the first time he stays away for this long.

Home Hunter AU subscribes to the “Hunter is the grimwalker/a clone of Belos’ brother” theory just for extra angst. I kind of like the idea that he wasn’t even a big part of Belos’ plans though, just that Belos saw a chance to “Bring back” his brother and went for it fsdfsfsdf.

Hunter is terrified of relying on someone too much because no matter how much he trusts them, they could always kick him out. And he’d rather kick himself out before they get the chance. Boys still got issues, is what I’m saying.

Because Hunter lives in the woods he starts to get a bit... Feral. People will not see him for a week only to realize he’s been not showering or changing his clothes. He was never the most normally-socialized kid but now he’s in the habit of hissing at people the way he does at wild animals that encroach on his tent.

Hunter is very possessive of his belongings (he has so few) and will tackle you if you try to take something from him without asking. He also hoards food and has trouble sharing it, but he feels a bit more embarrassed about this habit than others so he tries to hide it.

Luz:

Luz is basically the first person Hunter reaches out to after living in the woods for a few weeks, and she’s the only one he trusts, at first.

She offers to let Hunter stay at the owl house a LOT, and sometimes he does :D ! But usually only if it’s raining or he has an injury he can’t heal himself, or if they’re just hanging out.

Luz’s Super Secret Sad Boy plan is to try to trick Hunter into staying at the owl house for extended periods of time, so that he eventually doesn’t want to go back to the forest. She brings it up A LOT. This has yet to work though, because Hunter feels very uncomfortable about not understanding their family dynamic. That and it makes him feel a bit worse about his own. (kind of like when you go to your friends house and their parents are nice, so you cry afterwards. But to the extreme that he has trouble relaxing cause he’s viscerally aware of how much he doesn’t feel like he fits in.)

Luz tried to teach Hunter glyphs but he brushed it off. 1. because he’s still nervous about wild magic lmao but 2. because he didn’t think he needed to learn them since he has Rascal. He only starts looking into them when he personally finds them in nature on his own. After that point he starts eavesdropping on Lillith and Eda’s glyph lessons and hijinks ensue.

Lillith:

I’m actually super down for the idea that Lillith would bond with goldie in some way. They both know what Belos is like so they can bitch about him together!

I’m also a fan of the “Lillith regrets calling Hunter a brat” idea. Idk if she’s canonically seen his face or anything but I like to think that, at least NOW, she sees him for what he really is. A poor little meow meow.

That being said don’t think that Mom!Eda is out for the count. They’re ✨ co-parents ✨ and I like to think they bring different things to the table when it comes to caring about Hunter. Raine might show up eventaully too :D. They still can’t get him to move out of the woods tho.

Belos:

Not much to say about him and his plans yet, but what usually happens when Hunter runs off after upsetting Belos is that he comes back a few hour/days later with something to win back Belos’ favor. So the emperor isn’t concerned at first, but then a week passes, and then another.

In this AU Belos is very protective of Hunter but in a weird, possessive, fucked up way. Basically, he’s convinced himself that nothing is really a threat to him or Hunter (since he trained Hunter personally and believes in his nephews abilities). He was never afraid of Hunter being killed or leaving him cause he never considered those things as possibilities. So when Hunter doesn’t come back and is seen actively avoiding him, he goes a little apeshit? But like in a subtle way? Like, he’s losing it but quietly lmao. BASICALLY I do have plan for Belos to attempt to do a lot of stuff to catch/coerce Hunter, and maybe he succeeds! We’ll see.

That should be enough for now!

important to note that a lot of this could change on a whim since I’m still thinking about all of it but y e ah these are some things I’ve mused about.

also I hope this makes sense, I’m not really a writer so I just kinda type it how I talk it I guess.

#toh hunter #toh #the owl house #hunter toh #luz noceda #emperor belos #the golden guard #lillith clawthorne #eda clawthorne #home hunter au #ask #nnstuff

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strawberrymilkgeorge · 4 years

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Part Four. "You hosted me?? In MINECRAFT??"

warnings: swearing but that’s it (i think)! just karl being a goof and dream being a little shit but whats new word count: 3k (not ncluding pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

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Y/n sat to Karl's left, out of the camera's view as he scrolled through Twitter on his PC.

"Um... oh, how did you guys meet?" Karl read before looking offscreen at Y/n. "Uh... school?"

"What? I was going to make up a funny story but I'm appalled by the seriousness in your voice! Is that really how you think we met?"

The embarrassment on his face answered her question. "Karl! I'm two years younger than you, how would we meet have met at school?"

"I don't know!" he said back defensively, raising his shoulders. "Clubs?"

"Like I was in any of the nerd clubs you were in."

"Well, then, how did we meet?"

Y/n sighed with a laugh. "Our moms–"

"Oh, wait wait, I remember!" he cut her off, excitedly looking towards Y/n. "Our moms are friends and they forced us to hang out." He smiled proudly and looked back to his screen as he continued scrolling for good questions. "If I'm honest, I only still hang out with you because my mom makes me."

Y/n smacked Karl's arm and he laughed but pretended to be hurt. "WHAT THE HONK, BUGSY?!"

"I can't stand you. I barely hit you, nimrod."

Karl giggled and read another one. "How tall is Bugsy? Two feet, four inches."

"No, I'm 7'6," Y/n lied easily and Karl laughed.

"How tall are you actually?"

'I think 5'10 or something? Maybe 5'11. I'm not 6' but I'm taller than you for sure, I know that much–"

"Okay, you are not taller than me. Just to be clear. Chat, Bugsy is not taller than me."

"Yes, I am. Wanna test it?"

"No," he replied quietly in defeat.

"Because you know I'm right," Y/n laughed as her eyes flicked over to read chat. They were spamming their surprise, expecting her to be short. "Yeah, no, chat, I'm tall. I'm taller than Karl."

"Only because your shoes make you tall! Doc Martens are tall and that's pretty much all you wear!"

"You're shorter than me when I'm barefoot!"

"That's literally false. Like completely."

"Just accept it, shorty."

"I'll accept that you're taller than George and Sapnap, but not me. I'm barely taller than you but I'm still taller."

"Whateverrrr. I'll move on to protect your dignity."

Karl ignored her and laughed, pointing to a message from Dream in Karl's chat.

"Dream said I have short girl energy," Y/n read.

"You kinda do."

"What does that even mean?"

"You're shy around new people and you act all sweet."

"So tall girls can't be shy and sweet? Or shy and sweet girls can't be tall?"

"Stop twisting my words," Karl groaned.

"Also, wait, what do you mean I act sweet? Am I not?"

"No, you are. But I mean you also aren't when you don't want to be. Upset Bugsy is scary Bugsy."

Y/n frowned, not recalling a time she's ever been angry or upset at Karl but she let him move on. He pointed to another tweet as he looked at Y/n, giving her an 'I told you so' look. She read it before shaking her head at him.

"Don't read that one."

"Pleeease, can I answer?"

"No!" she whisper-shouted. I don't want to be shipped with him for asking or you for answering, she mouthed so Karl's chat couldn't put together clues.

"Are you assuming I'll answer positively?" he teased, earning him a hard smack on the arm.

Y/n couldn't help but notice every time she put her hands in the frame, which was usually to hit Karl, half of the chat turned into simps requesting a hand pic because they could see her bracelets and nail polish and now that they knew she was tall they wanted to see how big her hands were. They really wanted every crumb of content they could have regarding her looks. She caught one that said something pretty kinky about her hands which she tried to scrub from her mind immediately.

"Fine," Karl sighed at her request to not read Dream's tweet out loud, instead reading another. "Bestie sleepover? Yes! Bestie sleepover! Bugsy and I are gonna cuddle all night--"

"No, we aren't. I'm sleeping on a completely different bed. Or couch. Nowhere near you."

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME?"

"Karl! Stop trying to get me to cuddle with you!" Y/n laughed as she pushed away his arms, which were trying to give her a hug. "You're a freaking heater and I don't like touching people!"

"That's my worst nightmare in a friend, how did I end up with you?"

"No idea. Deal with it. It's still a bestie sleepover even if we don't cuddle."

Karl giggled and looked back at his stream. "Oh, by the way, in case anyone ever wanted to know or was Dreaming about it, Bugsy is very cute. Just thought I'd mention it in case anyone was wondering or if anyone tweeted specifically asking..."

Y/n smacked his arm again as she yelled, "Karl!"

He grabbed his arm in dramatic pain as if it had been cut off. "Ow! Ow! Bugsy hit me!" he cried as he fell to the floor. "Oh my gosh. Someone call a doctor!"

"I cannot stand you," Y/n informed as she stared down at him. She glanced at chat, who were all joking about how bad his condition was, saying things like they might have to amputate his arm. "Chat, don't encourage him. Oh, Karl I know what we can do!"

"As long as I don't need two arms for it..." his voice still laced with fake pain.

"Karl Jacobs."

"What is it?"

"Give me a tour of Dream's SMP. Dream whitelisted me yesterday."

"Oh, yeah! What could have possibly made you think of him?" he teased as he got back in his chair.

Y/n glared at him and he cowered slightly.

"Minecraft, yes. There's a PC in the other room you can play on. Do you need help setting it up?"

"No, I've streamed once or twice," Y/n teased as she stood up.

"I'm just trying to be a good host! Gosh!"

"Wait, I have to cross over to leave the room."

"Just do it? What's the issue? Literally no problem, just walk?" he joked before zooming in his camera on his face so it took up the whole screen. Y/n laughed as she went across the room, chat now forced to look at disturbingly close footage of Karl staring directly into the camera with his eyes crossed.

Y/n called Karl on Discord after logging in. "Hi, Karl and Karl's stream."

"Are you on yet?"

"I'm logging in to my Minecraft account right now."

"Okay, join a vc on the smp discord so others can talk to us if we run into anyone. I'll be over in a minute, just give me a bit to read some donations." They both muted, leaving Y/n to herself.

She typed in the IP address to the server and joined a random voice channel that no one was in. She spawned and looked around, confused by the cobblestone wall around her. Her phone lit up so she occupied herself with the texts from Naomi.

A green figure caught her eye on the screen and she looked up. In the distance was Dream's infamous green Minecraft skin punching the air as he faced her. He ran towards her and stopped in front of her. She set her phone down and slid it away, crouching as his character did the same.

Dream whispers to you: are you streaming you whisper to Dream: no but Karl is and he's about to get on to tour me Dream whispers to you: hmmm okay here

He uncrouched and dropped a few diamond blocks before punching the air again and running away.

Dream whispers to you: shh don’t tell anyone you whisper to Dream: omg :D ty <3 you whisper to Dream: first twitch donos now mc donos you whisper to Dream: rich man over here giving out money and diamonds to everyone like it's candy Dream whispers to you: no, only to you Dream whispers to you: a little gift before our date ;) Dream whispers to you: oh and this

He came back and paused in front of Y/n before dropping a red poppy and sprinting away again. She acted cool despite the huge smile on her face.

you whisper to Dream: charming you whisper to Dream: you give me a flower and dart away before I can properly thank you Dream whispers to you: oh yeah? how would you have thanked me?

Y/n smiled, her cheeks flaming up as a dirty thought entered her mind. Stop, he's not flirting, she told herself. It’s literally a block game and he’s not flirting.

you whisper to Dream: guess we'll never know ;) KarlJacobs joined the game

"I'm back," Karl's voice filled her headset as he joined her voice channel, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Where are you?"

Y/n looked away from the chat in Minecraft and turned around in the game. "Still at spawn. Some forest and cobblestone walls."

"Go left and I'll meet you halfway."

As she ran, the Minecraft chat reappeared with new messages for everyone to see.

<Dream> hey Karl <KarlJacobs> hello Dream <Dream> thanks for answering my question on your stream <KarlJacobs> just doing my civil duty as a bugsy dream shipper <KarlJacobs> official petition for the name to be dreamsy <Dream> signed

"Oh my gosh," Y/n muttered, making Karl laugh.

"What?" Karl asked innocently, but his laugh was maniacal. "Oh, I found you. This way! I built everything on the server, by the way. So if anything is impressive, just remember that I did it."

"Karl, that's the biggest lie you've ever told me. I watch the lore videos."

"Well, I did build it all so I don't know what to tell you. Let's go this way first."

Y/n followed as he showed her stuff, including background and unknown facts about things that have happened off stream. After the tour, they messed around the chessboard. At some point, she found a blue cornflower and turned to Karl.

"Do you have an anvil?"

"I don't exactly have one on me at the moment but I think there's one over here. What for?"

She killed some chickens with her fist to gain XP so she could carry out the task in mind. "I need to name this flower I found." She followed him a few blocks away and clicked the anvil and named the flower 'love, bug'. "Okay, thanks."

"Why did you name it?"

"It's a gift for someone."

"Me?" he asked as his character jumped up and down.

"No. My presence is your gift."

"Ouch. You know, honestly, I'm really hurt by that. Like, why would you say that to me? It's just sorta rude."

"Fine, I'll go get you a flower."

"Well, I don't want it if it isn't sincere. Who's that one for?"

"...no one."

"Tell me or I'll keep complaining about not getting a gift."

"I can deal with that."

"Okay, then tell me or I'll make you sleep in my bed and I'll smother you to death with my affection."

"Ah, okay, fine. It's for Dream."

"Wow you really hate me that much!" Karl laughed.

"No, I'm just not touchy like you!" she defended. She always worried she offended Karl since he was so physically affectionate towards his friends but she just wasn't a physical person.

"Oh, speaking of Dream..." he turned and Y/n followed his characters line of sight, having to zoom in to see the green figure perched at the top of a tree.

"He's very menacing."

"He does that."

<Bugsy> come here pls dream <Bugsy> i have a gift :]

Dream ran towards Y/n and stopped in front of her expectedly. She looked at Karl then back at Dream and dropped the gift, backing up after and crouching.

His character picked it up and held it, pausing to read the name. After a moment, he slowly looked up at Y/n's character before jumping and spinning in circles. Y/n hid her smile in her sleeve even though no one could see her.

<Dream> wait lemme see the one I gave you <Bugsy> what D: <Dream> I wanna name it

"What is going on?" Karl giggled.

"Gift exchange. Mind your own business."

"Woah!" Karl gasped dramatically. "Uncalled for."

Dream came back and dropped the renamed flower for her. Y/n picked it up and hovered over it to read the name.

'host, dream'

She gasped and started punching his character. He backed up and ran away but joined the call seconds later.

"Wait! Stop hitting me!" Dream yelled into her headset.

Y/n laughed, trying to contain her smile as she continued to hit the green character. "Dream! Are you kidding? I tried being all cute and you hosted me?? In MINECRAFT??"

"It was a joke! You said something like that to Wilbur on Twitter a while ago, I was just using your humor!" Dream's giggles filled Y/n's headphones and she smiled but quickly dropped it so her voice could sound serious.

"Give it back."

Dream looked at her before letting out a small, "What?"

"Give me back the flower so I can go burn it with the other one."

"Bugsy!"

"What is going on?" Karl asked through a cackle. "Dream, did you hurt Bugsy??"

"Yes, Karl! He hurt my feelings! He gave me a flower and gave it back to name it something mean!"

Dream just laughed so Y/n punched him again.

"Dream! You can't hurt Bugsy!" Karl defended, also punching Dream.

All Y/n could hear was the sound of Dream wheezing, his character running as the two chased him. "Stop! You guys are so– STOP HITTING ME!"

"Fine," Y/n finally said, crouching and facing the ground as she walked into a corner to look like she was pouting. "I'm just not going to go on any Minecraft dates anymore."

"Wait, no," Dream protested in a soft voice, his character stopping to look at her's. "Take that back."

"Heart been broke so many times..."

"You're so stupid."

Karl gasped happily. "You guys have a Minecraft date? Can I help plan it?!"

"We did. In exchange for letting you give me the tour. But I've changed my mind since I've been so betrayed."

"Oh my gosh, you're so..." Dream trailed off but his wide smile could be heard through his voice.

"So what? Finish that sentence, Dream," Y/n dared teasingly.

"So... ANNOYING!"

"DREAM! SAY YOU'RE SORRY!" Karl yelled.

"Okay! I'm sorry! Bug, I'm so sorry. Really. Please let me... let me rename your flower something cute. It'll make you so happy that you'll fall in love with me all over again and–and we can go on our date. Please don't burn our flowers."

"And what if I don't give them to you?"

"I'll just kill you and pick them off your corpse."

"Woooooowwww. Okay, it's like that?"

"Yes, it is like that," he said through a smile. It was so apparent in his voice that he was grinning like a kid on Christmas morning.

<Ranboo> how is the tour going Bugsy was shot by Dream using DEFINITELY NOT PENIS <Ranboo> ah going well I see

Bugsy screamed in her mic as the death screen appeared. "DREAM!"

"You took too long!" He wheezed as Bugsy respawned.

"I don't know where I am!"

"Hold on, I'll avenge you!" Karl declared before he died too.

"You thought you could kill me with your fists? Karl, you're naked and I'm wearing full Netherite."

"You weren't when I started punching you! You pulled that out of thin air!"

<Ranboo> canon

Y/n smiled at Ranboo's comment. She had never talked to him but she knew he and Tubbo were close friends and he seemed really funny. He had already proved he had a dry sense of humor in the 30 minutes she was on the SMP and she loved that. Y/n made a mental note to befriend him before returning to being drama queen to Dream.

"So, Dream, now that you've made me an enemy–"

"WhAT? We are not enemies, Bug. I'm actually naming a flower something really cute as we speak. Enemies don't do that."

"Maybe I'm not your enemy but you sure are mine."

"Oh come on now," he mumbled lowly, running chills down her spine. What the hell was that?? "What do I have to do to make it up to you?"

"You-you murdered me in cold blood. Nothing will make it up."

"So I could get the flower! It was out of love! So I could give you a better present! Does that count for nothing?"

"Hm," she hummed. "We'll see what new name you come up with and then I'll decide."

Karl and Y/n got back to the chessboard and waited for Dream to return with his new flower.

Breaking character and turning towards her best friend, Y/n laughed at Karl. "Sorry for distracting from our BFF shenanigans time."

"This is way more entertaining," Karl assured. "Me and my chat got front row seats to the Dreamsy love saga."

"Shut up," she mumbled as she punched him in-game.

"OW! STOP PUNCHING ME SO MUCH!"

"Okay, okay, I'm back!!" Dream announced and they saw his figure sprinting and jumping towards them. He dropped the flower for Y/n and stepped back, crouching and standing repeatedly.

Y/n picked up the flower and hovered over it to read the name.

"Is it worthy of your forgiveness, Bugsy? Does it pass the vibe check?" Karl asked with a giggle.

Y/n bit her lip as she smiled at her screen.

to the prettiest girl in the world. love, dream <3

It was a joke, obviously. He was just continuing the joke of flirting with her like he does on Twitter just like Sapnap and Karl and George and Quackity do. They all joke about flirting with her and this was another joke.

But it still gave her tummy butterflies.

"Bug?" Dream called softly.

But why would he joke like that when neither of them were streaming? Karl's chat wouldn't see it so there was no one to point in feeding into the joke, unless he meant for Y/n to show Karl? She was overthinking. She needed to play it cool.

She also needed an enderchest so no one could find it and no one could take it away from her and destroy it but they didn’t need to know she liked it that much.

"Mmm.... it'll do."

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PREVIOUS | NEXT

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A/N: yeeee hope you guys liked this one! i think this is my favorite so far i just think dream was being too cute and i wanna be best friends with karl so much it hurts. we’re gonna get deeper into the dream relationship soon!! i just needed to indugle in bff karl content real quick!!!

taglist: open (at the time) @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb @letsloveimagines @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad @sometimeseverythingsucks @powerpuffyn @itshaileyn @millavalntyne @automaticcomputerpaper @nikkineeky @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @sprucekot @bellomi-clarke @possiblyanxioushuman

#rpf #real person fiction #dream x reader #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken x reader #dreamwastaken x y/n #social media fic #dream smau #dreamwastaken smau #smau #mcty x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt fanfiction #dream fanfiction #dreamwastaken fanfiction

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yeetwinchester2 · 3 years

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The Son He Never Got...

Pairing: Steve Rogers x daughter!reader, Bucky Barnes x Rogers!reader (platonic), Peter is there but no real relationship between the reader and him.

Warnings: abandonment-ish??, ✨daddy issues✨, angst, more angst, thoughts of not being good enough, blah blah blah, I think you get it. steve's not really the good guy here. Bucky fluff

Requested: yes/no "Prompts 1, 2, 13 and 14 with Steve Rogers x daughter!reader" #1: "Why would you do that?” #2: “I can’t believe it...” #13: “I hate you.” #14: “Go to Hell.” I don't think I included all of the quotes that were requested... but they'll be there in the next part or two.

Summary: When a boy named Peter Parker shows up as a new recruit, Steve starts spending more time with him. The reader notices, but Steve doesn’t. Bucky is helpful :)

A/N: Thank you for the request!! This is (maybe) the second request that I’ve actually completed :) I hope it's alright!!

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Turning off your alarm, you get out of bed and get dressed for school. Today you were supposed to have a father-daughter date with your dad after school. You decided to wear a plain black flowy shirt, a pair of skinny jeans, and your white Doc Martens.

Throwing you backpack over your shoulder, you head down to the kitchen to get some breakfast and tell everyone good morning before you leave for school. "Mornin' everybody! Hey, dad. Did you pick out where we're going today?" you say with a toothy smile.

"Hey, sweetheart. What're we going out for, again?" he sounded confused, but you just ignored it.

"For our father-daughter date, dummy." you said, jokingly punching his arm. Not that it'd hurt him. He's a super soldier for crying out loud.

"Oh, yeah. About that... We're gonna have to reschedule our dinner tonight, hun. We can do it another night. The team and I are going to meet the new recruit tonight. You should meet him too!" he was rubbing the back of his neck, hoping that you wouldn't be too upset.

"But we've always had our dates on the first Friday of every month. We can't just skip this month!" He's not seriously going to reschedule dinner because of a new recruit... he wouldn't do that to you, right?

"I know, I know. Can we please just have dinner another night? This new recruit could be some serious help for the team."

"Yeah, okay. Whatever. I've got to get to school. I'll see ya when I get back." He's seriously gonna choose the recruit over me, his own daughter? No, maybe it's just more important than I realize.

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"Y/n, its probably nothing. Maybe he just needs to talk to some new people. Being stuck in ice for 70 years and all, he doesn't have many friends," your friend, Milo, tries to reason.

"The recruit is my age. He's a highs schooler. My dad isn't gonna make friends with some high schooler. I don't know. I guess we'll just wait and see." It's nothing, he needs to get to know the recruit anyways...

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After a long and tiring day at school, you get home to see you dad and the new recruit going over what you're guessing is paper work.

"Hey, dad. Hey, new recruit. It's nice to meet you, I'm y/n." you say, holding a hand out for him to shake.

"I'm Parker Peter. I-i-i mean, Peter Parker." he says with a wide smile. You can see his cheeks become a little more red.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Peter. How long do you think you'll be staying tonight? I can't have you stealing my dad from me already!" you say, jokingly. The three of you let out a short laugh.

"I'm not sure. I guess I'll leave once I've gotten the tour and we've gone through all of the paper work." Peter says. Why does he need a tour? He's only here to train, right?

"Sounds good! I'll be in my room if y'all need anything." you say, adding a fake smile. Turning around, you head to your room. The rest of the night, you do nothing but homework, completely forgetting about Peter.

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The next few days consisted of the same exact thing. You'd eat breakfast, go to school, come home and greet your dad and Peter, and go do homework. Had your dad asked you how your day was during the few days? Not once. Had he asked Peter how his day was? Yep. Did your dad ask if you needed help with homework? Nope. Did he ask Peter? Of course he did. Every day. I can't believe it... Is my dad replacing me with Peter? No, he's just helping him out, right? Right.

The next day was Wednesday, which meant you got to workout with your dad and Peter. 'Oh boy. I get to train with two abnormally strong superheros. Yay.' you thought sarcasticly. You went about your day as you usually do. On the way home from school, you texted your dad to let him know you might be a little late because of traffic. You When you got home, you changed into workout leggings and a sports bra, and headed to the gym where you usually meet your dad for workouts. You then realized that your dad hadn't texted you back. When you walk into the gym, you figured out why. Him and Peter were already halfway through the workout that y'all were supposed to be doing together.

At this point, you're starting to realize that your dad is actually replacing you with Peter. Peter's like the son he never got. He's been pushing you and the plans you've made to the side. He's been making Peter his priority.

Walking up to the two sweaty guys, tapping them on the shoulders to get their attention. "Peter, I hate you. No offense though. It's not your fault. Dad, can I talk to you? In private, please?" You do hate Peter, but not because he did anything wrong. He didn't. He's a real good kid. But he's you dad's favorite now. He replaced you, but he didn't know it. So, by default, you hate Peter.

"Hey! Don't talk to Peter like that! He didn't do anything wrong. You can't just walk in here and tell him you hate him. That's not how it works," he practically yells. Your dad never yells at you. The harsh reaction cause tears to swell up in your eyes.

"Dad. I need to talk to you. In private. Away from Peter."

"It can wait. Let us finish what we were doing. Then, we can talk. Got it?" he said sternly.

"Yes sir." you say, holding back tears that you knew would fall as soon as you turn around. And you were right. As soon as you turned around to go to your room, the tears fell, and they wouldn't stop. It only got worse when you got to your room. Forgetting to ask F.R.I.D.A.Y. to soundproof your room, you continue sobbing, yelling every now and again. Bucky, in the room next to yours, heard your crying.

Bucky was always there for you. He had been since the day he met you. His face when he found out Steve, THE Steven Grant Rogers, had a daughter. You and him have been close ever since. He's more like a best friend than an uncle if you're being honest. You go to him for everything. Well, almost anything. You hadn't told him about what was going on with you and your dad. You knew he'd be pissed about how your dad was treating you and go argue with him about it. You didn't want to make a big deal of it or anything at first, in case it was nothing.

Bucky, hearing you crying, run out of his room and to your door, softly knocking on it. "Y/n? Hun? Can you please let me in? It's Bucky."

You slowly stand up and walk towards the door, opening it. Looking up at him, with red eyes and mascara running down your checks, you move back to the bed. Bucky closes the door and sits next to you. "You wanna talk about it?" That's always the first question either if you ask when one of you is in this kinda situation.

"I don't know. I don't know, Buck." You lean into his shoulder, crying again.

"That's okay. Take your time, y/n/n. I'll be right back." he says, standing up from the bed. You see him walk into your bathroom, knowing exactly what he's doing. The two of you have a good routine for these kinda nights. It's usually always the same, but it works. When you're crying like you are now, you get horrible headaches. So, Bucky will always get you some ibuprofen and water to help. When he gets back from the bathroom, he hands you a two small pills and a glass a water. Without a second thought, you swallow the pills and some of the water. You thank him and set the glass on your nightstand. Pulling the covers up over your shoulders, you lay back down.

"Thank you.."

"Mhm. Are you gonna sleep first? Or talk? You know we're gonna talk about it at some point."

"I know, I know. Can I sleep right now? We can talk about it another time. I'm exhausted."

"Yeah, of course. But you're not getting out of it, and I'm not giving you the whole 'Its not healthy to keep it all in' lecture. You've heard it enough, so have I."

"Thanks. Mucho appreciated, old man."

"No problem, kiddo. Get some rest, we'll talk tomorrow. 'Night, sweetheart."

"Night, Buck."

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A/N: Cool. This is part one of this. Yes, I will (eventually) finish part two of Excuses. I have no idea when, but eventually. Same goes for part two of this one. But I really like this first part, so I think it'll continue. Thoughts? I hope y'all like it :))

#steve x daughter!reader #steve x daughter #steve x reader #steve rogers #marvel x reader #marvel #peter parker #peter parker x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky fic #fanfiction

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creepytoes88 · 4 years

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WARNING ⚠️- this is absolutely FILTHY like I need to go to church for real. like the last one is rainbows and kittens compared to this one y’all 😰🥴 sorry for any grammar mistakes or miss spelling

PSA- y/n in this smut is a famous TikTok weeb and she doesn’t understand how famous she is yet and Vinnie has a fat Crush on her readers to find out more 😈 and covid doesn’t exist in these obviously

https://youtu.be/NocXEwsJGOQi

Song/dance I’m talking about 👆

Vinnie’s POV

I watch her dance again I’ve watched it 8 or 9 times. Her baby blue thigh high socks and her lace pink skirt. The little bit of thigh poking out between the two driving me crazy the thoughts going right to my downstairs area. I groan and close TikTok I can’t keep thinking these things about y/n it’s not right I then hop out of bed and head downstairs to get some breakfast and coffee. When I get downstairs and step into the kitchen J immediately yells to me from the living room “DID YOU SEE HOW HOT Y/N LOOKS IN HER LAST TIKTOK!” Before I could answer Anthony come out of his room and gets something from the fridge “Avani is coming over and she’s bringing a friend that’s moving in with her, apparently she’s shy so everyone is nice I’m not getting bitched at cause you all couldn’t keep your dicks in your pants and made her uncomfortable” we all nod in agreement I take my muffin and coffee up to my room and watch some tv.

Y/n POV

I take a deep breath as I step off the gate moving to LA was a big move but it’s for the best I skip baggage claim because all of my stuff should be at Avani’s house by now. I pull my phone out of my carry on but before I could call Avani and see if she’s here yet but before I could I hear my name being called I turn around and see some boys around my age coming towards waving at me I wait and we take pictures I say goodbye as we walk away and call Avani’s phone “HEY! DID YOU LAND?!” “Yes I landed, I’ll be out front by the doors come find me.” I laughed as I hung up, It only took 10 minutes for Avani to find me and run at me full speed before nearly taking me and her self to the ground “WOAH!” “So how was your flight?” I laughed “very pleasant” Avani pulled away from me before looking me dead in the eyes. “There’s someone I want you to meet” point, Blank, period that was all she said before grabbing my hand and pulling me to her car. “Not that I don’t appreciate that but I’m not looking for a boyfriend.” Avani stops dead in her tracks before turning around to look at me “Then just fuck him” I stared back at her with a shocked face.

“I- wh- what “she turns back around before pulling me to her car, she unlocks the car and I throw my carry on in the back seat and get in the passenger side. Avani starts the car up then puts her seatbelt on, she turns on her blinker and waits for space so she can get out “well who is it?” I’m a little curious. Avani looks at me and smiles “I know you don’t follow him but maybe you have heard of him” she says with a big smile “his name is Vinnie and he is simply and cutest and sweetest most annoying human being on this earth” she says as she pulls out on to the road heading to her house or so I thought “no I can’t say I have heard of him.” About 30 minutes later she asks if I need to change because we’re gonna stop and pick up her boyfriend and maybe some of his friends then we’re gonna get some food. I thought about it and remembered I brought a mini skirt with me and some thigh high socks along with my doc martens and the sweatshirt I am wearing I think that’ll be fine “no I brought some clothes to change into.”

“Okay cool,” she says we sang to music before pulling in to the expansive looking neighborhood. I guess I should get used to this in a couple of months I’ll be in my own house in an expensive neighborhood just like this one (wink wink 😜) we pull into a house with a bunch of cars in the driveway. I’m kinda nervous for all the people my anxiety starts to kick in a little bit so I take a deep breath “if you want you can change in the car or the bathroom.” I almost agree about changing in the bathroom and for some reason, I change my mind “ it’s ok I’ll just change in the car.” Ok, that’s fine just come in when you are done past the stairs and then you’ll see the living room I’m gonna get Anthony from upstairs.”

She says as she walks away ok this is fine I hurry up and change I slid my socks on before putting my boots on as fast as I possibly could. I put my bag in the trunk in case more people decide to come then just us three I then walk up to the door and take a deep breath I grab the handle and turn it, Of course, it didn’t open. Why would it open, nothing goes right in my life. Great time to make it more awkward for myself, I knock on the door a couple of times and nothing happens so I do it again. Still nothing I take a deep breath before pushing the doorbell great just great I think to myself. I hear someone yell and I stand up straight and got ready to start explaining myself especially if Avani wasn’t the one to open the door. Not a second later a BEAUTIFUL man opens the door, soft brown eyes with hints of green and long eyelashes, rosy cheeks, and big red lips. Even his unruly curly hair was beautiful. I had to tilt my head back to look up at him ( you can change this if you are tall we love tall queens here) his eyes meet mine and Immediately his face changes from confusion, shock and then finally he hits the ground.

Vinnie’s POV

After I finished my breakfast I hopped in the shower and made a TikTok (the one where he has a towel wrapped around his waist) I then put on some sweats and walked downstairs I saw Jordan and Kio playing on the x box so I laid on the other couch before falling asleep. However, I woke up to the sound of Kio screaming my name I look up at him “will you go answer the door I’m about to win.” I groaned as I got up to answer the door I looked out of the peephole and saw nothing but the top of a head with pigtails on it “what the fuck” I said to myself chuckling and I opened the door to see a girl and as she looks up at me I immediately realized who it is and then everything went black.

Y/n POV

I look down as he lays on the ground unconscious I gasp before calling Avani’s name all of a sudden three boys come out of nowhere. “I don’t know what happened he opened the door and when he saw me he passed out” the boys looked at me with wide eyes before they started to laugh and make fun of the boy on the ground for being “whipped” and a “simp” I just look at them shocked “YOUR FRIEND IS PASSED OUT ON THE GROUND AND YOU'RE CALLING HIM A SIMP!!?” The boys stop and take their friend to the couch about that time Avani comes running down the stairs “ OMG Y/N ARE YOU OK I HEARD YOU SCREAMING!” “Yea the door was locked and that guy answered it and then just passed out when he saw me.”

Avani let’s out a load laugh “what the fuck is wrong with y’all” I say with a scared look on my face. “THAT'S VINNIE!” Avani yells as she laughs “he has the biggest crush on you and he passed out when he saw you OF COURSE WE’RE GONNA LAUGH!” She says almost crying “that’s Vinnie,” I say with wide eyes he’s fucking beautiful I think to myself. Maybe I will fuck him I laugh at my own joke I turn around as I hear one of the boys say “welcome back simp” I hear him groan. ”You guys I thought I just saw Y/n but I am pretty sure I was just still asleep, tell that girl I’m sorry please I’m gonna go lay down,” he says as he gets up slowly “you should put some ice on that bump.” You say as you walk towards him he looks up at you with wide eyes “don’t pass out again, please.”

I say with my hands out in front of me to push him back if he falls forward “ I-I I’m ok really.” He says as he scratches the back of his head “well show me where the kitchen is and I’ll get you an ice pack.” I saw with a smile “oh good luck we don’t have those here.” Vinnie says with a laugh “I got this don’t worry” I say with a wink. We walk into the kitchen and as he sits at the island I look around for a ziplock and fill it with ice, then wrap a rag around it. I walk towards Vinnie and hand it to him “thank you” he says with a smile while looking into my e/c eyes I stare back at him I don’t know how much time went by with us staring into each other's eyes but Avani walks in and laughs.

“Alright you two do you guys wanna stay here and we’ll bring you back food all the guys wanna come and we only have 5 seats sooo?”

I turn to look back at Vinnie “is that fine with you?” He looks at me and smiles “ I would love that” he says as he looks in my eyes again I take a deep breath staring back at him. I look at his beautiful lips his smile is just everything. “okay well text me what you guys want and we’ll be back in a couple of hours have fun, but not too much fun.” she says laughing I roll my eyes and look back at Vinnie “does your head feel any better?” “Yea actually” he pulls the ice back from his head and throws it in the sink “wanna watch a movie with me,” he asked with a smile “yes absolutely but first do you wanna film a couple of TikTok's together?”

I ask with puppy dog eyes “yes!” Vinnie says with no hesitation my eyes widened in shock at how fast he said yes “ok great. Well where should we film?” Vinnie thinks and asks if I wanted to film in his room or by the pool “hmmm the pool” I bet the sun is about to set “ok come, on silly girl,” Vinnie says as he walks away I run after him to see him go through a door so I follow and I see the big ass pool, I was right the sun is going down “wow,” I say to myself “it’s so beautiful right” Vinnie says with a smile “yea it’s is beautiful.” “Not as beautiful as you though,” Vinnie says with a slight blush on his cheeks I turn and look at him before walking towards him. I stand on my tippy toes to kiss him on the cheek I feel Vinnie put his hands on my waist “come on before the sun goes down” Vinnie and I make a couple of dancing tiktoks and we decided to make a thirst trap on his account so we went to his bathroom.

Vinnie started the video in front of the mirror by himself and then he transitioned to where I’m standing in front of him holding the phone. The next transition was me sitting on his sink counter as he takes his finger and snaps my thigh high sock against my thigh he laughs at my shocked face before ending the video he watches the video back with his hand still on my thigh. His thumb drawing small circles on the outside of my thigh I just stare at him I could feel my heart thumping and butterflies in my stomach going straight to my heat I can’t be thinking about him like that we just met an hour ago tops. Vinnie looks down at me his eyes then trail from my eyes to my lips he licks his own lips “V-Vinnie” “ yes beautiful?” He asks “what are you thinking about?” Vinnie looks me in the eyes again and says “About how great you’re going to taste.”

My eyes widen in shock and I put my hands on his shoulders to stabilize myself I can’t do this I shouldn’t be feeling this way I barely know this man “V-Vinnie?” Vinnie looks down at me “what baby?” I move my hands to the back of his neck “kiss me please” Vinnie didn’t waste any time attaching his lips to mine he grabs at my waist and chest. I nibble on his lips teasing him he opens his mouth for me but I denied it and keep biting and teasing him. However Vinnie grew tired of my teasing he picks me up off the counter, he then rubs the little but of ass that’s poking out I gasp as he does, Vinnie takes the opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth, I can feel my heat throbbing against his rock-hard abs, my legs pulling Vinnie even closer to me and I start to grind my hips against his toned stomach and I let out little moans between kisses.

Before I realized what was going on he drops me on his bed immediately my legs fall apart and I reach my hands up to grab him but Vinnie is too busy staring at my cheeky white Lace panties with a cute pink bow at the top. I grow self-conscious I remember that I’m probably a little prickly down there and begin to close my legs, maybe this isn’t a good idea right now “don’t close your legs baby I think you are gorgeous.” He says with a sweet smile and lays his hands on my knees resting them there “I-I haven’t shaved in a couple of days and I-“ “I don’t care” Vinnie says with a duh face as a smile creeps on his Lips “as long as you keep you’re skirt and socks on I’m happy.” I give him a weird look and Vinnie looks back at me with an open mouth “ unless that makes you uncomfortable-“ “no I’m just curious as to why” I say with a smile “god I hope I don’t make myself sound like a creepy stalker” Vinnie says as he takes a deep breath “I have been following you for at least a year now and I have always had a crush on you I've had dreams about fucking you in a skirt with your socks on” he says really fast a deep blush on his cheeks.

“You just make it look so hot with your thick thighs and bubble butt-“ I take my sweatshirt off before he could finish ”so no shirt?” Vinnie looks at my boobs with his mouth open just staring “n- no” he clears his throat “ no bra huh” he says with a small smile “that’s a nice surprise” his eyes trailing down my naked chest “you can touch them if you want.” I say with a smile Vinnie immediately pushes my legs open and lays between them he then grabs both of my boobs in his hands and pinches my nipples with his thumbs and pointer fingers. I let out a whimper and grab his strong biceps I can feel his muscles flexing in his arm every time he squeezed or rubbed my boobs and nipples I began to rock my hips against his stomach again “c-can I lick them?” He asks in a small voice I throw my head back and let out a moan “YES PLEASE” Vinnie takes one of my nipples in his mouth and sucks harshly and pinches the other with his ring-covered hand as he begins to grind his bulge against me.

I gasp as he nibbles and sucks before moving on to the other nipple I run my hands through his hair I know I’m fucking it up but it’s so soft. I feel his lips trailing down my stomach I open my eyes and look down at him and the first thing is seeing is a bunch of big and little red mark all over my boobs and tummy “you left hickeys!!?!” Vinnie looks up and then looks down I see the blush creep on his cheeks and he looks down “well it’s too late now” I say with a breathy laugh “just keep going” Vinnie’s eyes light up before he went back to leaving hickeys on my hips. “Please vin” Vinnie looks up at me “can I” he looks down and then looks back up at me “yes, please do“ I laugh as I run my thumb over his bottom lip. Vinnie kisses the palm of my hand As he then kisses my lips again he rubs and squeezes my thighs for a while before pulling away to unlace my boots once he got both off he spreads my legs wide and looks at my panties that are soaked with my excitement.

I throw my hands over my eyes I know there’s a wet spot I just know it “Jesus baby all this for me” he says as he runs his pointer finger over my wet panties “you even made a mess on my bed baby.” Vinnie says as he kisses the inside of my thigh leaving hickeys I groan in pleasure and embarrassment my cheeks glowing red. Vinnie’s eyes shoot up to look at me and I can feel him smile against my thigh before switching to the other side I moan as I feel my walls clench around nothing. I can feel my wetness gush a little and I throw my head back whining and moaning Vinnie’s name. I feel Vinnie push his nose against my heat, he takes a deep breath through his nose, he groans as he licks his lips pulling away “you smell delicious baby, I bet you taste delicious too.” Vinnie leans his head down taking my underwear in his teeth and pulling them down my legs once they were fully off Vinnie pushes my legs apart and pushes my knees up so they are by my shoulders he can see EVERYTHING.

Vinnie keeps looking down eyes locked on one certain area I could feel him looking at it.“Maybe one day if you get lucky” I say with a smirk ( let me know if you would be interested in part 2 with✨anal✨😊) Vinnie blushes and then realizes what I said before smirking and leaning down between my thighs. Vinnie licks a stripe from my wetness to my clit he groans before shoving his tongue as far into me as possible “mmmm baby you taste like fucking candy.” he slurps and nibbles I gasp and run my hand in his hair “how is that even fucking possible?!” He groans “I could live down here.” he says as he shoves his long tongue into me yet again but this time he grazed a special spot making me release a small shout in shock.

“O-OH VINNIE YESSS DO THAT AGAIN!” I yell as I push his head down and grind my hips on his face at the same time basically using his face to get off. Vinnie pulls my hands off his head after a few minutes and pulls away “n-no keep going-“ “sit on my face please.” Vinnie says as stands up and pulls me towards him by my legs. “Why-“ “because I asked nicely,” he says with a cheeky smile looking down at me, so I sit up and get on my knees Vin lays down on his bed and gets comfortable he then reaches out to me with both hands. I take them and slowly shuffle my way up, when I finally am above his face and I start to lower myself Vinnie grabs my thighs and pushes me so all of my body weight is on his face ”mmmmmm baby! “Vinnie moans inside of me I moan and try to get away from his torturous tongue and vibrations that’s making my legs weak I don’t have the strength to fight him anymore and I fully sit.

Immediately he starts eating me out twice as fast and deep he starts rubbing my clit with his nose while he moans. He’s squeezing and slapping my ass with the other hand “OH OH GOD YES VINNIE JUST LIKE THAT.” I was humping his face at this point I don’t even realize he wasn’t holding me down anymore and it was me I thrust my hips a couple more times before calling out to him.“YES VINNIE MAKE ME CUM DADDY MAKE ME CUM ON YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE!!” I yell with my head thrown back “do you want me to cum on your tongue daddy?!” Ask in a whimper Vinnie groans in response to the vibration shoving me over the edge. I throw my head back so hard I fall off of Vinnie’s mouth onto the bed still moaning and whining, Vinnie jumps up and attacks my pussy with his mouth again.

Before my high is gone making me scream again and thrust against his face once more before I lay with my legs and mouth open gasping for breath. “Are you ok” I didn’t have it in me to talk so I just gave him two thumbs up Vinnie laughs before asking “are you down for another round?” My eyes widen and I look at him before I answer I take a good look at his hair all over the place lips red and plump my juices on his face. My eyes then got distracted but his god-like features my eyes taking extra long to graze over his v-line and his rock hard cock. I take my hand and run my fingers down his hard stomach feeling all the bumps and grooves down to his happy trail and I follow it to his sex Lines. I push Vinnie down on the bed before crawling in between his legs I begin to kiss his neck and leave hickeys as he did on me.

I lick his nipple on the way down and he lets out a surprised gasp grabbing onto one of my pigtails as I trail my lips and tongue down to his hip bones to leave hickeys there and on his sex lines. He trusted his hips up towards my face and let out a hot whine so I pull down his sweats and underwear in one go I immediately start to rub my thumb on his tip. I lick the vain from the bottom to the top and then I took his balls in my mouth as I stroke him Vinnie's head thrown back in pure pleasure “ple-please don’t stop” he says in an airy breath I pull off from his balls making a popping sound. I then take him in my mouth if there is one thing I’m good at its blowjobs the bigger the better and Vinnie is the biggest I've ever seen.

I suck the tip and make my way back down as far as I can go without deep throating him yet I got about halfway down his cock I then started to hum and move my tongue around what I could reach. I then began to deep throat Vinnie and as my throat was expanding to his size I couldn’t help but moan “F-FUCK.” Vinnie yells as he grabs both of my pigtails and shoves my head the rest of the way down making me choke “OH MY GOD! I’m so sorry-“ I moaned before doing it again myself my eyeballs rolling to the back of my head I then pull off and catch my breath. “Mmhm fuck my throat daddy” I say as I start to suck his tip again with big wide innocent eyes Vinnie’s hips snap against my face his hands grabbing my pigtails again fucking my throat.

I could feel his balls slapping against my chin and I grab them in one hand and start to massage them while I rub his thigh with my other hand. I feel his balls start to tighten and his tip twitched so I pull off “lay down I wanna Fuck you.” I say with confidence “I-I ok” Vinnie stutters laying on his back now as I straddle him. I take him and put his tip at my entrance before starting to sink down on him I let out a small moan as Vinnie let out a load moan as he grips the sheets trying to keep him self from pushing you down. ”Fuck Y/n your so fucking tight, I’m gonna explode” “ooooh yea, you gonna cum in me daddy or are you gonna put your baby’s on my thighs instead hmmmm maybe on my ass cheeks?” Vinnie let’s out a loud moan “any-anywhere baby please just let me cum” Vinnie groans “mmm fuck me baby.“

I say I feel him grab my ass cheeks before thrusting up into me at a super-fast pace. Vinnie groans and moans as I scream and moan “ahh are you gonna cum in my little pu-pussy daddy?” “Mmmm yes baby I’m gonna paint your walls with my seed.” Vinnie says as he pounds into me at an even fastest pace if that’s possible. “I’m gonna shoot my load so far up your pussy it’s gonna be coming out of you for days!” He yells as he grabs my neck and licks my face we are both groaning and yelling things at each other. “HIT ME DADDY HIT ME” I yell I’ve never asked someone to hit me before so this is new.

Vinnie without even thinking about it throws me on my back and slaps me across the face. I could feel the stinging sensation and my pussy throbbed so I whimpered “again” he slapped me across my face again. I moan even loader this time I could feel the knot starting to twist “AGAIN DADDY SLAP MY FACE AGAIN AN-AND CALL ME YOUR LITTLE SLUT!” I scream at Vinnie so he slaps my face again harder this time. I could really feel the sting that time I let out a cry but immediately moaned right after “YOU LIKED THAT DIDN’T YOU SLUT” he pounds into harder. I let out sobs of pleasure tears running down my face.

Vinnie then pulls out completely before flipping me on to my hands and knees, I immediately drop my head to the bed so my ass is in the air. I feel Vinnie push inside of me again this time from the back, he grabs my hips thrusting in to me at a fast pace ”DADDYS GONNA SLAP YOUR ASS TILL ITS PRETTY AND PINK” Vinnie shouts at me as he begins to abuses my ass cheeks with his open palms I push back on him and I moan my eyes rolling to the back of my head ”P-P-PLEASE DADDY CUM INSIDE OF ME I WANT TO BE YOUR SLUT !” I scream at the top of my lungs I can feel the knot about to pop “F-FUCK YOUR SUCH A DIRTY LITTLE SLUT YOU WANT ME TO CUM IN YOUR TIGHT LITTLE WHORE PUSSY!” He moans “SUCH A DIRTY SLUT FUCKING A MAN YOU MET TWO HOURS AGO AND ALREADY ASKING ME TO PUT BABIES INSIDE OF YOU!” He shouts as I let out a scream it was like everything stopped my mind went blank all I could think about was how good daddy’s cock felt inside of my slutty little pussy.

I hear Vinnie start to pant “I’m gonna-I’m-I’m CUMMING” he yells as he grabs my boobs and falls into my neck his hot breath on my neck. I wrap my arms around his waist and I start to rub his back “thank you, Vinnie.” He starts laughing “I should be thanking you I don’t think my dick will get hard for another woman ever again.” I laugh and give him a tight hug “you know I don’t actually think you're a whore right “ I look at him and smile “well I would hope not considering you had sex with a complete stranger too” I kiss him on the lips “will you go on a date with me y/n?” I smile at him “yes, absolutely I would love to!” He chuckles and kisses my lips “I never thought I was gonna meet you, or be going in a date with you. let alone have sex with you AND cum inside of you all in the same day, life is full of surprises” he says with a big smile. I smile back at him before kissing him once more and getting comfortable “will you take a nap with me?” “Yea of course my sweet girl.” Vinnie says with a kiss on the head.

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