#I’ve only gone to my voting poll place

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

Well today was even shittier than I already knew it’d be

[princessconsuela120]

✰ SICKENING ✰

—✰

Summary: you catch a muggle illness, and Sebastian is insistent on being your doctor.

Warnings: protective Seb, cursing, fluff

Author's Note: I just love Seb so much. don't forget to vote on all my polls, enjoy guys!!!

—✰

“OMINIS, YOU KNOW YOU DON’T HAVE TO KEEP AN EYE ON ME.” You offered, pinching the bridge of your nose to relieve yourself of the tension in your head, having been tired of being smothered by the boys all day long. You had developed a muggle cold during your last trip to hogsmeade, and it seems that nothing can make it go away. You assume muggle medicines would be the only true solution, but Sebastian insisted he could cure you himself. When your boyfriend became a doctor you weren’t sure, but he seemed confident.

“Oh yes, I do.” Ominis detested, urging you to sit back down on the couch, tucking you into the blanket he conjured specifically to keep you warm. It seemed ominis was just as protective as Sebastian. When the two of you started dating you realized even more how important ominis was to you. He was like a brother to you, which proved true everytime Sebastian and Ominis fought to keep you safe.

“I’ve defeated thousands of trolls, I think I can handle a little cold.” You teased, making him chuckle as he sat beside you, touching the back of his palm to your forehead to check your temperature before handing you a warm cup of tea for the throat ache.

“Trust me, I know you can. But Sebastian won’t let me leave you by yourself.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at the thought, picturing the scolding tone Sebastian had used with you every time you suggested returning back to classes.

“Of course he won’t.”

“He’s gone insane since you’ve gotten sick.” Ominis explained, rolling his eyes at the thought of the freckled boy who had stressed about your wee cold since you started sneezing a week ago.

“I barely even have a fever anymore. He’s fed me 7 diftany leaves in my tea this morning to try and cure me.” You explained, as the two of you burst into laughter.

“His hearts in it, his minds just completely out the window.” Ominis teased, making you laugh harder, which only turned into a cough but you seemed it worth it.

“Isn’t it always?” You were about to continue before you heard loud footsteps, before the door to the room of requirements bursted open loudly, even startling the Chinese comping cabbages which leapt from their potting tables.

“Ominis!” He shouted, as you both turned your attention to him. “I told you to bring her soup at lunch time! What are you doing?!” Sebastian lectured, coming up to the two of you, his hands on his hips as he tapped his foot angrily.

“In case you haven’t noticed, it’s only 10am.” Ominis explained, furrowing his eyebrows at Sebastian’s worrying.

“Yes, which means y/n should be sleeping!”

“Sebastian, love, I’m alright really.” You tried to calm him down, holding a hand out to squeeze his hand to reassure him. He only gasped in response, holding a worried hand against your forehead.

“Oh god, she’s delirious.” He stressed, kneeling down in front of you as he looked at you with worried eyes.

“Are you sure you aren’t the one who’s sick?” You asked. However, your reassurance was cut short when you felt a prick in your throat and couldn’t help but cough. This of course heightened Sebastian’s worry immensely, making him sigh as he sat beside you, throwing an arm around your shoulder.

“Lucky for you, I’ve decided to skip potions and flying today, so you have me all day.”

You raised an eyebrow at him.

“How on earth did Professor Weasley let you do that?”

“I had took a few exploding bonbon’s before Herbology, nearly knocked Professor Garlick’s venomous Tentaculas over. They thought I was sick, so I went with it.” He explained, laughing as he explained it. You giggled in response, snuggling into his side.

“You’re crazy.” You mummbled against his jumper, already snuggled into the jumper if his uou had been wearing since you were sick.

“Crazy for you my love.” He placed a kiss against your head as he gently ran his fingers down your arm to soothe you. “You’re good to go now ominis.” Sebastian offered, making Ominis sigh with relief, a look of annoyance on his face of the pda you two had been sharing.

“You two are sickening.” He mumbled as he left, causing you to laugh.

“Bye ominis!”

“Feel better!” He yelled after you, sending you a smile before leaving.

“So, the world is our oyster my love.” Sebastian said, gesturing out to express all the things you both could do.

“Oooo, let’s go skinny dip in the black lake.”

The look he gave you made you laugh if loud.

“Are you kidding? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” He asked, holding his chest as you laughed, shoving him lightly.

“I was kidding, it’s just funny getting you like that.”

“How about this. How about a nice, warm, snuggle session. I can put on some music, and we can make sure you get the rest you need.” He explained, making you smile as you sighed happily.

“That sounds wonderful. Thank you.”

“Anything for you my love.”

He waved his wand, starting a record player in the corner. The music soothed the both of you, your eyes closed as you slept against him. He was about to lean in to kiss you again, until he let out a sneeze, causing you both to roll your eyes.

“Oh great. I told you kisssing me was a bad idea.” You lectured, making him smirk.

“Dear, kissing you is never a bad idea.”

“Now your sick.”

“Well I guess now you get to ply sexy nurse.” He teased, wiggling his eyes brows, making you hit his chest at the remark. You then sighed, leaning your head against his shoulder again.

“Ugh, fine. But I’m not missing quidditch practice for you.” You grumbled, placing a finger hard on his chest.

“What if I ask really nicely?” He asked, batting his eyelashes at you. You sighed, snuggling into him once more.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“I know. I am just the luckiest guy in Hogwarts aren't i?”

You rolled your eyes at his cockiness, knowing that you’d always have the most flirtatious boy in Hogwarts. But the truth of the matter was, he didn’t think he was lucky because he was cute. He knew he was lucky because he had you, and he was never going to let you go.

[jdmorganz]

I don’t usually do things like this, but I thought this was kind of a big deal for my blog. When I started this blog I was really only trying to make friends in the fandoms I was in, but it became so much more for me. Making gifs is very relaxing for me. It makes me happy and I love sharing with others the things that I love the most. I want to send positivity out into the world and the fandoms that I’m part of, so I’m very thankful for each and every single one of my followers that I do have. I started this blog when I was a kid and I can’t believe what it has grown to. 

I just hit 25,000 followers the other day and thought it would be fun to do a silly little celebration for it. I’ve gone through quite a few fandoms since joining this community and thought it would be interesting to see what my followers liked the most from some of my favorite characters as well as have some fun. 

Would you please pick your top 5 favorite characters from this list? I separated them by their fandom, just be aware if you are voting for The Last of Us, that you are picking either the video game version or the tv show version. I’ll run the poll for two weeks until Thursday, March 9th and then I’ll tally up who the top 10 favorite characters of my followers are. 

Another thing you can do if you want to until then is send me a make me choose between shows, actors, characters, etc. It will be fun until then because it would be cool to make some artsy type sets in the meantime. 

Thank you to everyone that follows me, to those blogs that inspire me with all the art that they do and for those friends that have been here for me throughout my time being here. This place gives me a break from the real world and I appreciate each and everyone of you! 

[eclipsedcrystalstar]

Which version of my characters should I use for my mini visual novel?

Please read everything about the universes before voting on the poll! So I’ve been wanting to practice some coding, and my first practice will be with a visual novel type thing. Using my DCA characters since they’re the easiest to draw for me and I don’t want to stress too much while making the visuals

but I can’t decide which universe I wanna make it about! So that’s where this poll comes in. Below is information about each universe. All of these will have interactions with the characters not just a slideshow like thing.

CV: This is my base version of events that all the other universes are branches of. Includes Solar and Lunar, two siblings that run the daycare. Sun and Moon do not yet exist in the timeframe I would use here, takes place before the wire incident and Lunar’s death.

Broken (early timeline): Branches off from CV at the wire incident, which never happens in this version of events. The daycare is run solely by Lunar now, and Solar seems to have disappeared. Includes Solar and Lunar.

Broken (late timeline): Same branch as above. Solar is gone and Sun and Moon are built. An incident happens with Sun and he is never fixed. Includes Lunar, and Moon with mentions of Solar and Sun

RS: Branches of after Lunar’s death in CV. The daycare is never reopened and Solar is only kept around for security purposes. He isn’t repaired often and can frequently be found hiding in the utility tunnels. Includes Solar with mentions of Lunar.

NE: Branches off of CV all the way back at Solar’s creation. The event of him being converted to a daycare attendant is done differently resulting in two AIs in the body. Includes the two Solar AIs (Hephaestus and Vulcan) and Lunar.

It’s 1 day long so I can get to working on the sprites quickly, I have a lot of time in the upcoming week to get a chunk of the drawings done which is another reason I’m not setting it as a week

[simlit]

Chosen of the Sun | | forest // sixteen

| @maladi777 | @rollingsim | @catamano | @poisonedsimmer-gone

POLL RESULTS| A 53% majority votes to give the banner up willingly.

4TH TRIAL | FOREST | SCOREBOARD 01 Tayuin // Taiyo - 2  02 Åse // Eve - 2 03 Aster // Eira - 0 04 Sarayn // Therion - 2 05 Indryr // Talila - 1

next / previous / beginning

ASTER: Sorry, Smile. If it’s between you and the point, I’d rather miss it. Take the banner and leave us be. SARAYN: A wise decision. I know those are hard for you to come by. ASTER: Hey now, I’m being cooperative. No need for unsolicited reminders. THERION: Well… good luck to you. ASTER: Mm. Maybe after you’ve had your spot of fun, do a little bit of self-reflecting, eh? Or don’t, I don’t care. THERION: We wouldn’t have killed her. ASTER: Yeah, piss off. EIRA: Bastards. ASTER: World’s full of them. Come on, sit here and rest. Let me have a look at those injuries. EIRA: snorts You? ASTER: Yeah, yeah, I know I’m no Eve, but I’ve had to do my fair share of bandaging up on the road. ASTER: Well, it’s not deep. At least, you should hold up okay till we can get you back to a real healer. But let’s not be in a rush, you look right exhausted. EIRA: I’m fine. ASTER: Of course you are. Bout as fine as I am, which is about as fine as two very not fine things. EIRA: laughs At least you finally admitted it. ASTER: I suppose I have to respect a woman willing to die just to make a statement. Besides, you did your best. I owe you that much. EIRA: Who knew the jackass could use magic? ASTER: He is an elf, after all. EIRA: So are you. ASTER: So people keep saying. Extraordinary. It’s as if having a bit of point to your ears makes you special. I can assure you, that is not the case. In fact, it’s made me rather unspecial over the course of my life. EIRA: Yeah? ASTER: Oh yes. But surely you know all about being outcast. EIRA: You can only be cast out if you belonged in the first place. ASTER: Huh. How profound. I could write a song about that. Or at least, I might have. EIRA: What? The trials so obnoxious they’ve forced you into early retirement? ASTER: Not exactly. But not not exactly. EIRA: Do you ever give straight answers? ASTER: Personally, I prefer zigzags. But… it’s complicated. Or not so complicated. Just stings a bit. I don’t have a problem admitting I’ve fucked up— hell, my entire life is somebody’s fuck up. It's just the reality that maybe it was a bridge too far. Rather a hard truth to swallow. EIRA: So, what was it? ASTER: Eh, you know, robbed an ancient cave. Pilfered a cursed golden skull, the usual. EIRA: Yeah, sounds like something you’d do. ASTER: You’re not wrong. Suppose I thought it might have just been a wee curse. I could handle a bit of poor luck. I’ve broken a lot of mirrors, you see. What was the worst that could happen? Turns out, that black magic can take just about everything from you. At least anything worth a damn. And I’ve only got two things. EIRA: Your voice. ASTER: And my music. Spent a lot of time trying to remember a thing I haven’t forgotten. The notes are right in front of me and I can’t play them. How does that work? Well, I’ll tell you: it doesn’t. Now what do I do? Am I supposed to just find some new purpose in life? That’s a lot of work. And maybe not worth the time. People like you when you’ve got something to offer them, even if for a minute or two. If I’ve got nothing, I’ve really got nothing, you know? EIRA: You weren’t kidding. You’re really not yourself. ASTER: Mm. Last time I told this many truths I was sloppy drunk in a dwarven whorehouse. But maybe I’m just exhausted. I don’t like thinking too much, and I’ve been doing an awful lot of it these past few days. EIRA: I don’t care for it much either. ASTER: Hm? EIRA: Thinking too hard. But I’m not like you. I don’t have distractions. I can’t get out of my head. ASTER: Well, that does sound terrible. EIRA: Then again, maybe you try too hard to get out of yours. ASTER: You’re not wrong there, either. EIRA: If you came by the tavern, no one would turn you away. Music or not. ASTER: I don’t know about “no one”. EIRA: You don’t need everyone. You just need a few good someones. But you’re set in your ways and can’t see what’s right in front of you. I was there, too. You ought to spend time with the Valkyrie. ASTER: Oh? EIRA: She’s good at breaking doors. And arms. ASTER: laughs You know, Witcher. You’re not so bad. EIRA: Yeah. You neither.

[jonathanbiers]

i lost the ask about it because i tried to save it to the drafts and it DISAPPEARED, but for those of you who voted 'i want your video' in my wip titles poll, i have written the sentences! this isn't the whole thing, but here's a lil sneak preview & reveal for what it's going to be.

the text included here isn't graphic, but mentions sex work, which the fic WILL later include. 🖤

from i want your video,

“They sound like they suck,” Argyle points out, exhaling as he presses the still burning end of the roach against the bottom of the ashtray. 

Steve hums as if in thought, eyes turned up toward the ceiling. “I think mom would be okay with it, after some initial adjustment. Just not a conversation I wanna have with either of them, y’know—like, I’m not gonna call them and go, ‘Hey, mom and dad, I lied about the job thing. I’ve actually been selling videos of me touching myself on the internet, but don’t worry, it’s pretty good money.’” Steve looks over at Argyle with a put-on grimace. “Maybe let’s not.” 

“Why ever not?” Argyle jokes, reaching over to set the ashtray down on the table by the couch. “I am curious, though—why only the solo stuff?” 

“I’m not against the idea of filming with a partner. It just hasn’t happened,” Steve explains, his hand gesturing vaguely in the air. “It would have to be someone I trust. Turns out, that’s a very small list of people.” 

The weed must be starting to really kick in, because Argyle doesn’t even really remember why he asked in the first place, doesn’t think twice before he lets slip, “You trust me, don’t you?” 

He doesn’t even realize the implication of what he said, his already-short attention span even more of a mess. Not even when Steve considers him for a long few seconds, eyes giving Argyle a once over that, if it had been anyone else—and if Argyle’s self-awareness hadn’t gone out the window—would’ve made it obvious he was being checked out. Maybe because it’s Steve, and because they’re already friends, but it doesn’t make him feel uncomfortable like it normally does, put on the spot when he can tell someone’s eyeing him up. 

It’s just Steve, and he’s just looking. 

“Yeah, I trust you,” Steve says finally, his head lifting slightly so he can slide his own arm under it, the picture of comfort and ease. “If you want to, then yeah, I’m down. We’d just both have to get tested first—safety and all that important shit.” 

“We—huh,” Argyle mumbles aloud, his eyes blinking like that’ll clear away the clouds hovering over his thoughts. It takes a second, but he remembers the earlier parts of the conversation eventually, his mouth dropping open just a bit. “Oh—” Argyle’s mind seems to pause completely while he grasps for words to say. It takes him an embarrassingly long time to come up with anything. “I think maybe I shouldn’t be high for this conversation.” 

[scapegrace74-blog]

The Man from Black Water, Chapter 1

A/N  Thanks to everyone who voted in my unofficial straw poll.  As you can see, I’ve decided to write the Outlander / Man from Snowy River crossover next, mostly because it requires the least amount of planning or research.  You can thank 38cm of fresh snow and a busted knee for the fact I churned out this first chapter so quickly.  Subsequent chapters should arrive at a rate of 2 or 3 per week.

For those not familiar with The Man from Snowy River, it was a movie released in 1982, set in frontier Australia.  This might seem like the least likely contender for a crossover, and maybe it is, but Jim Craig, the protagonist of the film, and Jamie Fraser share a lot of similarities, as do Jessica Harrison and Claire.  Plus, I just really love the film.  It’s pure rom-com fluff with a side of horses and history - what’s not to love?

For those who do know the movie, I have essentially shifted it to 1880s Scotland and made the necessary adjustments, plus a few extra twists to keep things fresh.  I will include a full character mapping in the notes on Ao3, if you’re interested.

Rocky clods of Scottish earth struck the pine coffin, their percussion muffled by a steady downpour and dark clouds that stole the daylight from the sky.  Insensible to the punishing weather, Jamie Fraser knelt in the mud by his father’s grave, his lips moving in silent prayer.  Rivulets of rain stained his auburn hair to mahogany, dripping from his forelock like tears.

Lallybroch’s thin soil had to be convinced to permit Brian Fraser’s burial, as though protesting his untimely death.  A wooden headstone marked the callous details of the Highlander’s life in roughly carved letters:  

                                  Brian Robert David Fraser

                                Died of Accident – May 1885

 Next to the freshly turned earth, another headstone was already grey and weathered to the point that it could barely be read:

                                   Ellen Mackenzie Fraser

                       Gone Home to God – December 1882

At long last, Jamie rose to his full height and redonned his tweed bonnet.  He trudged to where Murtagh awaited him in his ramshackle wagon, feeling far too broken for his nineteen years.  Rollo, the family dog, followed faithfully behind him.

“United in death, the minister said,” he looked up at Murtagh who sat in his only Sunday suit, impervious to the rain.

“Superstitious rubbish,” Murtagh spat.  “Fit fer widows an’ glaikit fools.”

“Tis’ a nice thought, Murtagh,” Jamie defended, tugging at his waistcoat with reddened hands.

“There’s more tae life than death, lad.”

Rollo’s ears pricked up, signaling danger with a low growl.  Riding out of the clag were a half dozen men, their faces obscured by thick beards and low-brimmed caps.

“Wha’ do they want?” Jamie said, pulling his shoulders back to brandish the height and breadth he’d inherited from his father.

“Campbells, by the look o’ them.  Best go ‘ave a listen tae wha’ they ‘ave tae say.”

By the tone of his voice, it was clear Murtagh knew what was coming, but Jamie did not.  The Campbell ringleader, a man with a barrel chest and a thunderous voice, ordered Jamie from his land until he was man enough to farm it.

“Lallybroch is my place now,” his voice rose in defiance.  “I own it!”

In the eyes of the law this statement was patently untrue, and Jamie knew it.  Centuries of tradition saw Highland crofts passed from father to son, while the local laird technically owned the land and collected rents for farms that were considered next-to-useless.  With the arrival of English land barons and the introduction of sheep farming, crofters were being pushed from their holdings, either by ever-increasing rents or through outright eviction.  In Glenshee, Brian Fraser had been one of the last hereditary crofters, clinging to his birthright by sheer tenacity and hard graft.  Now, Brian Fraser was dead.

“Look!” the Campbell henchman bellowed so loudly his horse jumped. “Ye’ll gang down tae the Lowlands, and earn the right tae live up here, jes as yer faither did.”

Without waiting for Jamie to acknowledge this ultimatum, the men wheeled their horses, galloping away until the mist enveloped them.

“I dinna ken what they’d have me do,” Jamie railed at Murtagh as he loaded his meagre belongings into his godfather’s wagon.  “Da sold off the stock bit by bit tae pay their criminal rents. If I leave, wha’s tae stop the Duke from seizing the land outright?”

“Tis a hard country.  Makes fer hard men,” Murtagh shared in his dour philosophical way, slapping his wooden prosthetic leg for emphasis.

Jamie slumped on the wagon’s bench, pulling an oilskin over his shoulders to escape the worst of the rain.  With a flick of the reins, the old wagon bounced across the rocky ground, heading away from Lallybroch.  From behind him, Rollo let out a plaintive whine.  Jamie kept his eyes fixed forward, refusing to glance back in farewell.

***

Unlike Brian Fraser, Murtagh Fitzgibbons had no right to his home, customary or otherwise.  He lived a bothy high in Glen Isla, so old it appeared to have sprouted directly from the stony earth.  There, he scratched out a meagre living raising a small herd of scraggly sheep and reiving the occasional cow that strayed into the secluded glen.

For as long as Jamie could remember, Murtagh also distilled whisky, guarding the location of his still and the source of its water with religious fervour.  Only Brian Fraser had known the secret and had taken it with him to his grave.  

Entering the bothy with an awkward but surprisingly spry gait, Murtagh set about unsmooring the fire and grabbing an unlabeled bottle from the mantle. Jamie stood in the centre of the familiar room, feeling like he might cry.

“A toast,” Murtagh proposed as he filled two filmy glasses with a pale amber liquid.  Lifting his glass to the heavens, he then intoned:

Here’s a bottle and an honest man – What would ye wish for mair, man. Wha kens, before his life may end, What his share may be o’ care, man.

So catch the moments as they fly, And use them as ye ought, man. Believe me, happiness is shy, And comes not aye when sought, man.

The poem was by Robert Burns, and one of Henry Fraser’s favourites.  Jamie raised his own glass in reply and knocked back the entire dram.  It burned his already tight throat and smoldered in his belly, making him forget the damp chill of the stone hut.  Dashing away an errant tear, he filled both glasses again and gave his own short but heartfelt eulogy.

“Tae Brian Fraser, the best man I knew.  May I do honour tae him as his son by keeping Lallybroch in Fraser hands.”

Two drams of whisky combined with the sorrows and indignities of the day, making Jamie’s temper burn hot.  His adolescent ego licked its wounds, committed to revenge both sudden and complete.  He would pour his heart and soul into making Lallybroch profitable once again, and once that was done, he would track down those Campbell henchmen and offer them the rough justice of his fists.

“Ye should concern yerself wi’ keepin’ yerself alive,” Murtagh injected his usual dose of cold reality.  “If ye return tae Lallybroch now, the Campbells will shoot first an’ ask questions later.”

“They’d ha’ tae catch me first,” Jamie blustered.

“Shouldna be sae hard, considerin’ ye’d be on foot.”  

Seeing the lad crumple at the renewed realization of his dire circumstances, Murtagh took pity on him and led him outside to where a small corral hid in the lee of a rock face.  The old nag responsible for pulling Murtagh’s cart stood next to the feed trough, dwarfed by a dark bay gelding with inquisitive ears and a kind eye.

“I’ve no notion of his breeding,” Murtagh began, “but he’s a Highland horse, sure-footed as they come.  He’s yours.”

“I canna pay ye fer him,” Jamie sputtered, shocked by his godfather’s generosity.

“He’s no’ fer sale,” the old man insisted gruffly.  “A man wi’out a horse is like a man wi’out a leg.”

Brian Fraser would often say that his old friend was like a sea urchin: spiny on the outside but filled with tenderness.  Never had this truth been more apparent.

Jamie climbed through the fence, extending a hand until the gelding nuzzled it warmly.  Despite everything, he smiled, having always felt a bond with any animal.

“Thank ye, Murtagh.  Truly,” he said with the utmost sincerity.   “Does he have a name?”

Murtagh grunted in the negative.

“I shall call him Donas, then.  A wee devil tae help me rain misery down on those scabby Campbell louts and win back Lallybroch.”

“Dinna throw effort after foolishness,” Murtagh admonished.  “Ye’ve got a lot tae learn about bein’ a man, Jamie Fraser.”

[classicslesbianopinions]

This is so unbelievably funny. I stopped watching Ninjago ever since I moved to a place that didn’t have cable and we couldn’t afford it, like around season 2, 3, or 4 of Ninjago. And I’ve never seen or read Antigone in my life, but even if I did I would still vote for Lloyd simply bc it’s the funnier option.

But besides all that, having Lloyd’s character being diluted is a crime by Antigone people. Bc Lloyd was quite literally forced to be the green ninja. He had no say in it. It was either be the green ninja or literally die bc the world was ending from what I could remember. Bro was like 7 or 8 dude. Imagine being a literal 3rd or 4th grader and forced to decide the fate of the world itself. He was homeless and essentially abandoned by his family. Dad is evil and mom dropped him off at a boarding school. Literal snakes used him as a pawn when he thought they were his genuine family or the closest thing he had to it. He’s a kid. Like at the root of it all you have to remember he was only a kid. On top of all that, in order to be the green ninja he had to be a near adult. Like bro went from 7 or 8 to 17. He had a whole decade taken from his childhood to be the green ninja. In a whole afternoon it was just Thanos snapped away. All that time just gone. Lloyd sacrificed a whole decade to be the green ninja. You don’t understand. He is my Roman Empire.

Also Lloyd wasn’t born without fingers and still managed to save all of Ninjago. Antigone could never suck my nuts, I’m out.

i like how you're sending me the propaganda rather than the actual poll bracket blog

[walker-extended-universe]

It'll Be Okay

Relationships: Cassie Perez & Cordell Walker, August Walker & Cordell Walker & Stella Walker, Colton Davidson/Stella Walker

Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence, Episode: s02e18 Search and Rescue, Gunshot Wounds, Hospitals, Surgery, Guilt, Feels, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Because there's no way that little trailer got pelted with bullets and the only thing that got hit was Cordell's hat

A/N: Fic finally brought to you by people voting for it during my polls :)

Taglist (if you would like to be added let me know): @theladywyn, @ihavepointysticks, @klaatu51, @neptunium134, @itsjessiegirl1

----

Liam’s phone rang on his way back after his talk with Dan. “Hello?”

“Finally you pick up!” James’ frustration was palpable over the line. “Where the hell have y’all been? I’ve been trying to get you on the phone for hours!”

Well, that couldn’t be good. “Woah, sorry, we were at the nature park trying to find Stella and August. Cell service was really bad out there. What’s going on?”

“I- Look, there’s a lot to explain but the basic story is we were checking up on a lead and we got ambushed. Walker got hit with a few bullets and it’s not looking good. They’ve got him in the ICU right now.. He’s alive and stable but he’s not out of the woods yet. Get here now.” He rattled off the address and Liam made a note in his phone before his brain had time to catch up with what he’d just heard. 

Well fuck. Looks like the family wasn’t done for the night.

—------------------

Cordell was sedated and put on a ventilator to give his body time to recover. He’d undergone surgery to remove the bullets and patch the wounds. It wasn’t the first time his family had seen him like this but, with Emily’s death only two years prior, it wasn’t easy to see. 

Three bullet wounds. Major blood loss. Internal bleeding. Minor organ damage. 3 hours in surgery. The surgery had gone as well as could be expected and the doctors were optimistic but stressed that the next few hours would be critical. It was very much still a situation of if he would be okay rather than when. 

Unlike the Walkers, Cassie had other things to occupy herself with than just her partner’s survival. “Why wasn’t I called sooner?” she demanded from James. “He’s my damn partner; if something goes down, I need to know!”

He sighed and rubbed his temple with the hand that wasn’t caught in a sling. “Perez, we were investigating a lead. It was my lead and I asked Walker to accompany me. We didn’t need you there and frankly I’m glad you weren’t. As for why I didn’t call you after he was shot, I was a little preoccupied with figuring out why all the Walkers and our DA had suddenly gone AWOL. I’m not proud of it but I meant no slight against you. Besides, there’s something else you need to know.” He explained the phone call with Rita that set them on the investigation in the first place. “We weren’t sure what to expect and I didn’t want to give you any false hope so we kept you out of the loop. We did end up finding something before we got ambushed though.” He gestured behind her and a very familiar face stepped into their small waiting room.

“Miles?”

—---------------------------------

After an hour of sitting in Dad’s room in the ICU with no updates, Stella got antsy and decided to get up for some of the “coffee” they had in the waiting room. She didn’t have her wallet or she might’ve gone to the cafeteria to get a real drink or something to eat, not that she felt like eating anything. She just couldn’t stand to wait there any longer.

Her dad was strong and he’d been in these situations before. But after losing Mom two years ago and almost losing Colton earlier today, she was all too aware of all the potential outcomes, especially the bad ones.

She found a coffee station, poured herself a cup, and blindly walked around as a distraction. She’d been in hospitals many times before (she was pretty sure she was a frequent flier at this location in particular) but she never got used to how quiet they could be. It was one thing in an emergency, when everyone was running around and machines were going off and the air was charged with knowing that something was happening. But those brief moments weren’t the norm.

Hospitals were a dreadful place of quiet. It was a place where grieving family members said goodbye to their loved ones. It was a place where people sat, chained to their beds, knowing there was nothing to be done but wait for the all-clear. It was a place where medical debt was handed out like candy, killing any happiness someone might’ve had from knowing their mother or father or sister or son wasn’t dead after all. For every happy recovery story, there were at least five tales of woe.

She hated hospitals.

“Stella?”

A voice startled her from her thoughts and she turned to see Dan Miller poking his head out of one of the rooms. “Oh, hi Mr. Miller….”

“Call me Dan. What’re you doing here? Did you come to check on Colton?”

She bit her tongue to keep from snapping at him that his family wasn’t the center of the damn universe.. He probably just didn’t know and it’s not like that was a crazy assumption to make. “Uh, not. I’m…. I’m here for my dad. He got shot on a case and we’re all worried…..”

Dan blanched and he sheepishly glanced away. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay,” she said reflexively. “How is Colton, by the way?”

“On the mend. The doctor says he can probably go home tomorrow, they just want to keep an eye on him overnight.”

“That’s good.” At least someone was making it out of this alive. “I’m sorry about everything. I should’ve had my phone charged better and I’m the one that decided to change trails without even telling August-”

“It’s okay,” Dan said. “I know today was hectic but…. It could’ve been a lot worse. And it wasn’t. Because you stepped up.”

She nodded and pretended to take the compliment. “I try. Do… Do you mind if I visit Colton? We’re just waiting to hear about Dad and….” And I need something to do or I’m going to lose my mind.

“Uh, yeah, he’s just down the hall. Room 232.”

She nodded and walked past him towards the room. She hesitated outside the door before going in. She didn’t want to bother Colton but she had to see for herself that he was okay. She softly knocked on the door as she entered. “Hey….”

Colton looked up from his phone and smiled at her. “Hey. I didn’t think you were coming to visit me tonight.”

“I wasn’t,” she admitted. “My dad is in right now. I’m just… Trying to kill time while we wait for news.”

“What happened?”

She fiddled with her empty coffee cup. “He got shot. Not our first time dealing with that. The doctors think he’ll be okay but we’re still waiting on confirmation.”

“I’m sorry,” Colton said, reaching for her hand.

She took it and sat in the chair next to his bed. “Thanks,” she murmured. “He’ll probably be fine but…. I worry about him. It’s like every time this happens I wonder if this is going to be it. If this is going to be the time he got too unlucky….” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, you don’t need to hear all this.”

“I want to,” he said gently. “I can’t imagine how scary that is, even if you’ve been here before.”

She felt a smile tugging at her lips. “I appreciate that, but I did come here to check on you. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Doctor says I can leave tomorrow. You did a good job earlier.”

“I try.” She squeezed his hand. “I know that wasn’t an ideal first date….”

“Maybe not. But it was a memorable one.” He chuckled and she couldn’t help but laugh with him.

—----

It wasn’t until the next day that the doctor’s declared Cordell was out of the woods and on the road to recovery. “You’re very lucky,” they told him after the breathing tube was removed. “We’ll have you out of here in a few days but no going back into the office for at least three weeks. And even then I’m going to recommend desk work only for a while.”

For once, he wasn’t going to argue. This whole mess had been a little too close. With everything going on, he wasn’t going to say no to a little family time. He knew his kids needed to hug him and his mother needed to fuss over him. He got lucky and if the past couple years had taught him anything, it was to not press that luck too far.

They moved him out of the ICU and into a normal room for the duration of his stay. His family was there as soon as visiting hours started. The kids got first hugs and he bit down the grunt of pain when Stella hugged him a little too close to one of the bullet wounds. He just thanked anyone who would listen that he could hug them again. He listened to the story of what happened at the nature park before they got called to the hospital and sent out another “thanks” that his family was still intact.

His parents came in next, followed by Liam. “How are you feeling, baby?” Abilene asked, brushing a few imaginary hairs out of his face.

“Like I got shot,” he muttered. “I’m fine, Mama. Really.”

“Sure you are.”

“What happened?” Liam asked.

“I was checking up on a lead with James and we got ambushed. Guess it was a better lead than we thought,” he tried to joke. “We weren’t prepared for it. Honestly, it could’ve been worse. I’m just glad we can start moving forward.”

“You mean James can start moving forward,” Abby said. “You are resting until the doctor clears you to get back to work.”

“Yes, Mama.”

—---

He could tell something was bothering Cassie from the minute she walked in, as much as she tried to hide it. He may be new to being her partner, but he knew her well enough to know where her thoughts were.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Blame yourself for this.”

“I-”

“Cassie….” Cordell squeezed her hand. “I know you are. You’re doing that thing where you’re trying not to look at me and pretending you’re fine.”

She sighed. “I just…. It’s my fault you were there in the first place.”

“It’s not,” he said firmly. “The whole operation was James’ idea and neither of us expected that attack. We didn’t even know if there was anything to the lead. It’s absolutely not your fault.”

“I know that,” she said quietly. “But…. This is my thing. I should’ve been there.”

“Maybe,” Cordell said. “But you weren’t. And that wouldn’t’ve changed what happened. I’d probably still be in this hospital bed and you’d probably be in one of your own and then we’d be arguing with you about how much work you’re allowed to do on Miles’ case while you heal.”

“Walker-”

“My point is,” he continued, squeezing her hand again, “This isn’t your fault. There’s nothing for you to feel bad about. It happened, it sucks, but we can’t change it. I’m on the mend and in a few weeks I’ll be back in the office like nothing happened. In the meantime, you’re going to do your job and save your former partner from whatever mess he got himself into. Okay?”

Cassie nodded, squeezing back. “Yeah. I can do that.”

“Damn right you can.”

[journeys-debut]

Wha—what is a lightstick? PC? What is—why would we collect plastic? Birthday? In a cafe??? Free..bie?

THERE IS A KPOP CONVENTION AT THE ANIME EXPO PLACE?

HEELLLLLP

*record scratch*

*Freeze frame*

Yep, that’s me. (Not really.) Freaking out over boys a million miles away. I bet you’re wondering how I got here.

Hi I’m Journey, nice to meet you!

So here’s the thing: I’m brand new to K-Pop fandom.

I’m not new to fandom (anime, books, etc.) and I’m not new to K-Pop (in that I’ve always been aware of it; listen to some of the music; I have friends w/in the fandom, etc.) But I have never been in the K-Pop fandom—that all changed w/ Cha Woongki. 

One day, I'm scrolling through Tiktok and see this:

and I’m like it’s giving

queer~,

it’s giving

Reality TV~.

Already my two favorite things. So, I search up the source material, and boom: Boys Planet pops up. 

I jumped right in, wondering if I’d even be into it (Because I have a short attention span when it comes to tv sometimes)—

I got hooked.

Cute, talented guys around my age?

Also some very much giving girlypop?

ALSO competing?

(The survival aspect killed me sometimes as an empath. Stop emotionally destroying those boys please.)

I can’t remember when I started watching the show...maybe half way through the season airing? But I immediately jumped into live voting.

I was super excited, and even thought, "if some of my Top Picks make it into this little group...

...will I be stanning a K-Pop group?"

Then it happened. I went from juggling a few Top Picks, to finding the one.

My BIAS* (which I did not know at the time, because what is K-POP?):

Seok Matthew.

I was like... "him. I’m rooting for that one. I love his talent, he's super freaking cute, and I’m sad when he gets sad on the show."

...and right on time. Because, now, instead of having the option to vote for three Top Picks on the app...we could only vote for one. 

And I was finding that a lot of fans on social media weren’t struggling to select one. It seemed like every fan had one person they really were devoted to /excited about / cheering on. And I was like... "Well, that’s how I feel about Seok Matthew."

I mean, this happens all the time with Reality TV shows, right? We have a fave and we root for them with fellow fans. And maybe even vote.

But the energy of this—felt different.

Only 9 out of 18 guys were going to make it into that debut group**. It all was riding on the votes.

We, as fans, literally had their dreams in our hands.

There were Twitter polls where fans were exchanging and buying votes. Or working with fans of already debuted groups.

There will billboard ads across bus stations and on the sides of buildings advertising top picks. 

There was even this crazy moment where the fans decided who got the best part in the finale performance...all through YouTube streams?! As in, all the competing boys performed the part, and the video with the most views + likes would be awarded the part.

(It was CRAZY. Seok Matthew has just gone through a sad moment on the show and had been dealing with a lot of negative rumors. So, Seokryudans*** were PISSED. All that stress/defensiveness blew up, and w/in a day, the fandom got his views super high.

But get this? One of the most popular boys on the show [rightfully so, we love him] has a HUGE fandom, so they started competing with us Seokryudans.

Like, it was meant to be an 8 person battle, but the competition was ONLY between Zhang Hao and Matthew.

We were in the trenches. Streaming in the millions. SCREAM TYPING on social media.

Hao won.

(I’m almost over it.)

Anyway, so that crazy streaming war? Think of that vibe, but times it by 100000000—because this time we weren’t voting on a part.

We were voting on who debuted.**

We were voting on who got to follow their dreams versus who would literally have go back to their daily lives and struggles / head home / leave the country. 

It was intense.

...

Matthew debuted in the group!

 And two other Top Picks of mine: Gunwook and Hanbin debuted, too.

(*Moment of silence for some of my other faves that didn't survive this time around...

...including the icon, the legend, the one that started it all for me:

)

So, many talented boys didn't make it. But Gunwook, Hanbin, and the LOML Seok Matthew did!

And, throughout the transition from Boys Planet to the new group preparing to debut (through a lot of Tiktoks, birthday lives, and magazine covers, I’ve gotten to really fall for the charms of all the boys in the group—and now I really do love ZEROABASEONE.

And that’s when it hit me:

 I…

...really love a K-Pop group?

As in the background on my phone? As in my previous hyper fixation (*cough* My Hero Academia *cough*) almost replaced??

WHAT???

At least with previous hyper fixations, I had something to jump off of. MHA? Great, I know anime and cosplay.

Thai Drama? Yeah, you know, I’ve watched foreign TV shows before. I can read captions, I get it.

UlTING**** a K-Pop group? Wha—what is a lightstick? PC? What is—why would we collect plastic? Birthday? In a cafe??? Free..bie?

THERE IS A KPOP CONVENTION AT THE ANIME EXPO PLACE?

HEELLLLLP

*record scratch*

*freeze frame*

(Yep, that’s me. Newly formed K-Pop girlie, with only one K-Pop group...that’s she's obsessed with.

ZEROBASEONE is debuting as a new group, and I’m debuting as a new K-Pop fan.

This is Journey’s Debut.

...Let’s see how this goes. <3 0_1

.

.

.

BONUS: I will be keeping K-Pop Logs for new vocabulary I learn / pickup / discover within the fandom, and end up using on the blog.

~

K-POP B/LOG:

*BIAS - A favorite member within a group.

**DEBUT - Though “debut” is a word used for music genres other than K-pop, it's often used in K-pop to refer to a trainee who has transitioned to an idol by releasing their first official single (either as a soloist or in a group) or performing in public for the first time.

***Seokryudans - Name of Seok Matthew fandom; a play on the Korean word for pomegranate (seongnyu) and Seok.

****ULT - A bias refers to your favorite member, but it can change through time. Meanwhile, an ULT, short for "Ultimate," is that group or member who's your top favorite no matter how many idols and groups you like in the future.

~

More ways to follow the Journey!

[official-kenralie-fanbase]

This post will be functioning as several things:

1) To inform you all that Chapter 28 of Perfect Match is out! Here's the link and yes, I know that I've skipped a couple of chapters but I'm too lazy to go back and make posts for them :) Tag list for the fic: (that people can actually see now!) @bronte-deserves-better @you-have-been-frizzled @axels-corner @marella-gossipqueen-redek @istanrandomfandoms

2) To convince you to vote for Kenralie in this poll and to read Perfect Match if you haven't already by posting a longer clip from this chapter :) I'm so proud of this excerpt, and you can read it even if you haven't read Perfect Match. I know Kenralie isn't going to win the ship bracket, but I'm still holding out hope that my ramblings about them for the past couple of months can maybe pull them into the third round? Hopefully? (Sorry Marelliana stans- I like them, and they'd definitely beat many other ships for me but just. Kenralie.)

Clip from Perfect Match Chapter 28: Secrets below the cut! For those of you who haven't read the fic, this takes place right after Mr. Forkle first talks to Oralie about Project Moonlark.

Kenric was so focused on his own thoughts, he almost didn’t notice as someone appeared in the street right beside his house, soft footsteps on the ground breaking the eerie quiet of the night. But when he did, he smiled. 

“Hey, Ora,” he called from his porch, and Oralie immediately turned around. Her expression was startled, like a child caught stealing candy from the pantry. “Sorry,” he whispered, rushing to the street to walk up to her. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” 

“It’s alright,” Oralie said, her expression slowly melting into normal. “What are you doing out?” 

“Just needed some fresh air,” he told her. “Where were you?” For the first time, he realized that she wasn’t wearing the same outfit she’d been wearing earlier, but just a tanktop and leggings. She couldn’t have been in a meeting with anyone at all important. It was likely she’d been going to meet a friend, but most of her one-time friends hated her now, a fact she’d cried to him about countless times. Maybe she could have been seeing family, but he knew how awful her parents were, and the one cousin she actually liked had betrayed her all those years before. 

“I went dress shopping,” Oralie immediately answered. “I didn’t expect to run into anyone, so I didn’t bother to put all that formal attire back on.” She smiled at him, though, so Kenric knew she wasn’t actually mad. 

“Well, what’d you get?” 

Oralie tilted her head to one side, examining him. “I found something I like, but it wasn’t quite my size, so the very generous store owner offered to adjust it for me. For an extra payment, of course, but I don't mind. She said it’ll be ready in a couple of days.” 

“Working hard, I see,” he replied, winking, and Oralie blushed. 

“I’ve been working hard all night,” she said. “I felt I deserved a break.”

“What project are you working on, again?” Kenric asked, genuinely curious. 

“Overviewing Foxfire curriculum,” she immediately answered. “It’s rather boring, but I’m managing. I’m almost done, anyway.” 

“So you’ve spent all evening working on it? Then went shopping?”

Oralie hesitated a second before nodding her head. 

Kenric might have been imagining it, but he thought he saw a flash of pain across her face. 

The kind of flash that happened when she lied. 

His theory was only furthered when Oralie took a deep breath, pressing a hand to her stomach. She’d described in detail how it felt when she lied -Kenric couldn’t even imagine dealing with those headaches and nausea- but now, if she thought she could hide it from him, she was mistaken. 

She hid the movement by adjusting her shirt, not meeting his eyes as she said, “I’m really tired, Kenric. I should get to bed.” 

As Kenric looked at her, he saw how exhausted she looked, and something in her eyes that looked like she’d gone through something that would permanently change her. That scared him more than the lie. 

“Are you alright, Oralie?” he whispered, stepping closer. Oralie looked up at him, and he saw tears glimmering in her eyes. 

There was so much he wanted to tell her. He wanted to say that he knew she was hiding something from him, and he didn’t understand why, but he knew she had a good reason. He wanted to tell her about Elysian and about his pointless search, and how much he just wanted to be done with everything ever having to do with the Council. He wanted to drop to one knee right now and ask her to be his wife, then they could live somewhere far away from all this, spending all their time together without rules and expectations and secrets. Just free to love and laugh and be, making their own life together. 

But he didn’t say any of that. 

He couldn't. As much as he wanted to.

So they just looked at each other, the secrets growing between them like a wall separating Kenric from the person he loved most in the entire world. He wished he could take an axe and smash the wall down, brick by brick, stone by stone, but while they were on the Council, he couldn’t. 

“I don’t know, Kenric,” Oralie whispered, her voice so hopeless it broke Kenric’s heart.

“What do you need me to do?” 

She looked at him, a tear streaking down her face. Oralie looked at him for a long, long moment until she finally spoke. 

“If someone gave you the opportunity to change the world, would you take it?” 

Kenric blinked once. 

“I suppose I would,” he said eventually. “If it changed the world for the better.” He saw the expression on her face and added, carefully, “But what would it cost?” 

“I don’t know,” she told him. “Might be nothing.” She stepped forward, putting a hand on his cheek. “But it also might be everything.”

Before Kenric could say another word, Oralie planted a gentle kiss right on the corner of his mouth before she walked into her house. She was gone before he realized what she’d said… and he was back inside his own house before he realized what it might mean. 

“Don’t be a hero, Oralie,” he whispered, though he knew she couldn’t hear him. He walked up to his mantle and looked at a picture of the two of them that she'd drawn for him. His arms were around her waist and their foreheads were pressed together, both of them smiling. They were so, so happy. He wanted to run to her house and show her the picture, telling her that this was what they could have together. No circlets. No Council hounding their every move. Just Kenric and Oralie. 

Kenric pressed his own forehead to the picture, wishing it was Oralie by his side instead of the cold paper. “You already have been. For me.”

She'd saved him from a life of loneliness and never feeling like he truly belonged. With her, he belonged. With her, he was someone. 

And he knew he had to trust her. 

That reminded him of what she'd said, and he slumped down on his couch, hoping someday she'd be able to tell him why she'd kept those secrets. And he could tell her why he'd kept his. Then they could have a life with no secrets, just like it should be.

He had no idea what he had in mind, or what she’d been doing. 

But he was pretty certain it hadn’t been dress shopping. 

He just knew he had to get both of them off of the Council before it was too late. 

And in order to do that, he had to find Elysian. 

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

Good morning from Charlottesville, Virginia! ☕️

All the Thanksgiving leftovers are long gone and I celebrated my 56th birthday this week. I got my free birthday coffee at Starbucks, had BBQ for dinner, and chocolate cake for dessert. Luckily the cake didn’t have 56 candles on it. That would’ve been bad. ����

I hope you had a great week and enjoy the links.

Robert Kagan • Washington Post

Let’s stop the wishful thinking and face the stark reality: There is a clear path to dictatorship in the United States, and it is getting shorter every day. In 13 weeks, Donald Trump will have locked up the Republican nomination. In the RealClearPolitics poll average (for the period from Nov. 9 to 20), Trump leads his nearest competitor by 47 points and leads the rest of the field combined by 27 points. The idea that he is unelectable in the general election is nonsense — he is tied or ahead of President Biden in all the latest polls — stripping other Republican challengers of their own stated reasons for existence.

I can’t see how trials and even convictions can stop Trump from becoming our next President.

Only we, the people, can stop it. If we don’t stop him we’ve lost our nation.

VOTE!🇺🇸

Daniel Jalkut • Red Sweater

This is a substantial update to MarsEdit 5, featuring all new support for the Mastodon publishing system, which is used to host a large number of independently operated Twitter-like microblogging services.

I’ve been a MarsEdit user off and on for well over a decade. This classic Mac assed Mac App is fast, stable, is great at what it does, and has a developer who cares deeply about it and the Mac.

It’s well worth its $59.95 price tag.

It’s time for an opinion. I wish this were subscription based for Daniel’s sake. He depends heavily on major releases and upgrades to keep his business afloat. This is where I believe subscription pricing could help. Her could do something like $9.99/yr, or $0.99/mo, then he could get off the upgrade cycle train and just add features whenever they’re ready. He provides excellent support and fixes bugs on a regular basis.🚂

Of course I’m not a successful indie giving advice to a man with a long established company and app, so there you go.😃

Super Mega Ultra Groovy

Capo was not playing audio for some users on Intel Macs running Sonoma. After spending almost two weeks (and about $850) I discovered that macOS Sonoma had a rather nasty bug that was triggered by loading JPEG images.

I love a good debugging story. 🐞

Sophie McEvoy • gamesindustry.biz

Xbox is working with unknown partners to open a mobile storefront to rival the App Store and Google Play.

It will be very interesting to see if Microsoft can actually make a nice experience for mobile users. Beyond that will Apple no longer demand their 15-30% take, even if on another store? I very much doubt it.

Deepa Shivaram • NPR

It’s been more than six years since images of a neo-Nazi rally in Charlottesville, Va., shocked the world — hundreds of people with tiki torches chanted antisemitic slurs, and a counter-protester, Heather Heyer, was killed.

When this all went down I wasn’t at all familiar with Charlottesville. We were living in California and little did I know we’d move to the area in 2019.

When I started at WillowTree we were located in downtown Charlottesville and I had no idea Heather Heyer was murdered right by our office. It was pretty surreal the first time I walked by it and realized this was the place.

I took this photo five days after my start date with WillowTree.

Nish Tahir

This week OpenAI had a fantastic keynote at their Dev Day event. They announced new products and enhancements to ChatGPT[1]. Interestingly, some parts of the internet described the keynote as an “Extinction Event”[2] for many AI startups. Many of the startups reportedly facing extinction share the common trait of being thin wrappers over OpenAI’s APIs.

I don’t think Nish sleeps at all. He’s into everything and is well versed in every topic he talks about.

Always worth a read when he shows up in my feed.

Steve Benen • MSNBC

Rep. George Santos survived the first two attempts to expel him from Congress. The third vote, however, led to the New York Republican’s ouster.

Well, what do you know. Some folks actually do have an ethics line. Took long enough for them to find it. 🤬

Robb Knight

Earlier this week I had a need to manually find a bunch of people’s RSS feed links. It seemed simple enough: go to their website and look for an RSS/Subscribe link but I was surprised to find that a lot of people don’t have a link anywhere to their feed.

I see where Robb is coming from. He’s after a link of image with a link to your sites RSS file.

Most modern feed readers will auto discover feeds by looking in your sites head for a specific alt tag.

Sites should embrace the tag based method but it doesn’t hurt to include a link somewhere.

Debbie Truong • Los Angeles Times

Montiel, an environmental science major, and Butterfield, a journalism major, had lived in their vehicles for several years, the only way, they said, that they could afford to attend college. They usually found parking in campus lots or on nearby streets.

There was a time when we lived in California where I thought I’d have to get a job in the Bay Area because tech in the San Joaquin Valley is hard to find. I was thinking I’d drive in from Exeter on Monday morning, stay the week, and return home Friday afternoon. I was planning to put a shell on my truck and turn the bed of the truck into my home.

For my first year of employment at LEVEL Studios in 2009-10 I did something similar but I found a room to rent for $250/month.

I doubt you could find anything close to that in the Silicon Valley.

Vincent Ritter

There is another reason why I stopped developing Gluon, for now, and time will heal this. It’s personal. I never said this publicly, but here we are. Funny how one individual in a nice community can just blow everything up 💥 I had super strong feelings about this today, and I can’t get it out my head. Hence this post I guess.

Vincent’s app, Gluon, is an excellent app for Micro.blog. For the longest time it was much better than the first party app and it was my iOS App of choice for Micro.blog.

I wish you nothing but joy and happiness, Vincent. Thank you for all of your hard work making Micro.blog a better place.

Anita Chabria • Los Angeles Times

A unicorn costume, a hammer and a belief that pedophiles are using public schools to destroy democracy: The trial of David DePape for attacking Paul Pelosi was strange and disturbing.

This attack on Paul Pelosi was just about as weird as it gets. The dude who did it was so far down the conspiracy rabbit hole he was seeing pedophiles everywhere. These people are the GOP’s base. They’ll believe anything no matter how wild the story. Remember the lizard people who drink children’s blood for the adrenochrome? Yeah, that’s something these people believe.

They all need extreme therapy to repair their addled minds.

[miraculouscontent]

It’s heeeeere! Another summasalt, this time with nearly twice the length of the first one!

(Turns out that not having caffeine doesn’t help me talk any slower.)

Script below:

Anonymous asked:

Thoughts on Rocketear?

Can you Rocketear the newest episode apart with your salt, my beloved Salt Queen?

Penny for your thoughts on Rocketear?

Aw, anon! You can have that for free! I'm a generous goddess.

"Rocketear" begins with Chat Noir and Carapace - just Carapace, really - holding back a pack of what I presume to be the physical manifestation of the writing staff's age, or at least a representation of how behind the times the writing seems.

Just as the dinosaurs break through Shellter. Ladybug shows up with the scientist who revived the dinosaurs in the first place and said scientist uses a whistle to calm the dinosaurs down. There's also a line from Bob Roth about putting the dinosaurs in a theme park to make money and I know what it's referencing but it's so incredibly random that it doesn't really come off as a proper joke.

Carapace was notably sad right after battle, but insisted that he was fine when Ladybug asked. Rena, sporting a... - I would like to say "new design" but it's a recolor in every sense of the word - is hiding behind part of a building and smiles after the heroes before walking off. Ladybug takes Nino's miraculous back but sees that he's still upset and asks him again what's wrong. Nino asks where Alya was and Ladybug claims that she only needed Carapace for the job, which cheers him up but only until Ladybug is already gone.

Mm, I guess Nino and Adrien relate in heroism not being enough for them unless they have their respective love interest to flirt with.

Also, I know this is an obvious set-up, but the show can't tell me that Ladybug just always brought Nino and Alya whenever she needed one of them. Season 3 required her to go to Master Fu to get the miraculouses, and unless she already knew that Nino and Alya would be in the same location - which, okay, the show does basically shove the two of them together whenever Nino is onscreen, fair, if two characters are in a relationship in this show then it's weird for them to NOT be with that person - but it just seems like a gamble, not to mention proof to Shadow Moth that the two are close if Ladybug constantly brings both of them.

Anyway, Ladybug goes into the sewer and asks Rena if she's seen any sign of Shadow Moth or his traps. Rena didn't see anything and they de-transform. Marinette is about to leave when she thinks of something, but Alya assumes it's about her new look, which was apparently not voluntary on her part and the suit automatically adapted to Alya's new role as Rena Furtive, which she has now named it as.

Marinette reminds her that this is supposed to be a secret and that they agreed that the fox has no owner. When Alya is evasive about whether she told Nino that she won't be Rena anymore, Marinette stresses that everyone needs to believe that Alya won't be using a miraculous anymore so that she can remain an undercover spy.

What's the point in changing the look if you're not going to show yourself anyway? I mean, insurance, I guess, but still.

Alya, exasperated, parrots what Marinette has apparently told her before: that she helps Ladybug with Mirage in case Shadow Moth tries to follow her so Rena can follow him instead. Marinette stresses the situation again and Alya tries to get Marinette to agree on her telling Nino that she's Rena Furtive, but Marinette refuses.

At Marinette's house, Alya talks further and explains that she doesn't know if she can lie to Nino since they don't keep any secrets--Alya, babe, you kept Rena Rouge from him and didn't tell him that you knew he was Carapace until Ladybug was forced to give you your miraculouses at the same time. I don't wanna hear it.

Marinette states that it's too late for that and also not technically a lie, but Alya gets upset and says that Nino will never trust her again if he finds out that she kept something from him. Marinette brings up how she had to keep secrets from Alya too, but they're interrupted by Tom appearing and wanting to play games with them. Marinette makes an excuse about homework that she's repeated many times, as Tom comments that the teachers give her too much. After Tom is kicked out - hang on, lemme just... - Marinette uses the moment to show Alya that she's lied to her family a lot and hasn't played games with her father in months. She states that there's no other option as they have to protect their identities, and Alya agrees to talk to Nino.

In Alya's room - I just presume at this point that Nino's house doesn't exist and Chris is an illusion - Alya tells Nino that they need to talk, but stammers and states that it's hard to talk about. Nino thinks that she wants to break up with him, but Alya assures that she loves him. She finally gets to the cover story that Rena herself made up in "Sentibubbler" and Nino understands, sad that she won't be around anymore but agreeing if it's what Ladybug thinks is best.

Is it weird that Nino respects Ladybug's wishes more than Alya does?

Nino hugs her and is confused by why Alya was nervous to tell him, as she can tell him anything and nothing will change their relationship. Alya feels guilty and hugs back, murmuring about how they don't have any secrets; that's not what Nino said, but sure, push this plot to its already predictable conclusion. I mean, I thought it was vaguely sweet that Nino switched to seriousness immediately when Alya said that she wanted to talk, but how am I supposed to be invested in this couple when their dynamic boils down to "STRONG, INDEPENDANT WOMAN who wears the pants in the relationship because her boyfriend is portrayed as a wimpy coward"? Like, the show constantly dragged Nino down to make Alya look "powerful" by comparison, and then when it comes to characters like Marinette, we get a girl who works very well outside of her relationship with her endgame love interest.

It's the fakest form of "girl power," dragging guys down to raise girls up or actually making a strong girl character but having her love interest be a weakness that creates flaws in her that weren't there originally and having that love interest be who she's "destined for."

I'm rambling, sorry.

In class, Marinette assures Alya that she did the right thing and Alya agrees. As they're leaving school, Marinette talks about how their "night walks" start soon, and Alya non-subtly talks about how Rena Furtive will be on the lookout while Ladybug and Chat Noir patrol. She stops, however, as gets excited about some pictures she took of herself as Rena Furtive, which has a lot of details that Marinette hasn't seen. I don't know whether to groan at what I just heard or remind everyone that Rena Furtive is literally just a recolor and therefore this is the writers patting themselves on the back for this design, so let's just move on.

Alya then shows Marinette her phone--AUGH, MY EYES--and suggests making a poll on her Ladyblog so people can vote for their favorite Rena design. Marinette has to stress again that Rena Furtive is supposed to be a spy and thus invisible, which Alya admits that she forgot about.

Okay, I've been holding off on talking about this, but now seems like the best time to bring it up. Alya has been a trash friend as well as a trash confidant, and her role as Rena Rouge boiled down to, "it was convenient for her to be the fox at the time it was needed." She's not particularly stealthy like one would expect of a fox, and she was easily one of the worst candidates to be told Marinette's big secret. I'll get more into this later, but I have to stress that Alya has treated Marinette no differently since learning of Marinette's identity and has already gone against Marinette's orders once before at the time of this episode airing. Episodes are constantly torn between validating their decision to have Marinette tell Alya, having Marinette be worried about the decision while the show considers her to be ridiculous for it, and then having Alya either consider or make choices that clearly don't gel well with what's good for her role. Much like Marinette, she lacks a sense of self-control and--wow, a female character who's impulsive, never seen that stereotype before.

Point being, "Sentibubbler" stressed over and over that Alya was the right choice and deserved to be both the permanent fox and the understudy for guardian, but then we have "Rocketear" here where Alya is making basic emotionally-driven errors that I'm not even remotely sympathetic to when Marinette has gone through so much worse over the course of three+ seasons.

*sigh*

Alya laments that it's hard to find new content for the Ladyblog - ah, yes, tell me more about your struggles, Alya - but figures that at least she can post stuff about Chat Noir instead of--I don't know--making fake Ladybug theories to lead people off Marinette's trail. Marinette says that it's a great idea, though Alya still doesn't look too happy. The scene then rewinds to a little bit to show a different point of view, this time with Adrien and Nino. Wait, this feels familiar, wasn't there another episode that did something like--ohhhh no, this is going to hurt.

After saying good-bye to Adrien - something I wish I could do every time he's mentioned or on-screen - Nino catches the bit of conversation where Alya talks about the Ladyblog. Nino talks as if Marinette isn't there and asks Alya out to the movies because Marinette is chopped liver and this is about Alya and how sad she is, guys.

Wow, she's turning into Adrien faster and faster.

Alya hesitates, but Marinette assures her that there's still time. Alya excitedly runs off with Nino and they watch what I presume are previews given the narrator, featuring recycled footage from the Ladybug PV. Nino is upset because Rena is mentioned but not Carapace, and the preview features Rena telling Chat Noir to forget Ladybug because it's Chat and Rena herself who are trulu made for each other.

I don't know what's funnier; the complete lack of self-awareness or the suggestion that a biracial couple would exist in this show outside of a special that gives them maybe a minute of screentime and acts more like suggestive canon anyway. I think I might've been too generous with that line about dinosaurs.

Nino is offended by the preview and Alya brushes off his comments, stating that it's just a cartoon and it's made to entertain people, though Nino himself is certainly not entertained. Can't say I entirely blame him considering that Alya doesn't really try to say anything substantial or even agree with him. No cuddling or reassuring kisses, she just gets slightly sad and turns to her phone for a bit.

After the movie, Nino is cheered back up again until he catches Alya on her phone once more. He offers to take her home, but she's distracted, and he comments that what she showed to Marinette looked pretty nice; I don't know because they didn't show it. Nino asks what it was and Alya evades the question, stating that her battery is running out. Nino is suspicious, but spots Andre's ice cream cart and the two head over there. Andre calls them his favorite couple and asks what they want, but Alya sees Ladybug gesturing for her and has to run off, giving Nino a cheek kiss as she goes which feels like too little too late at this point.

Nino catches some conveniently-placed kids arguing over who Chat Noir loves, but they settle on the fact that girls in general love Chat Noir. Nino is then seen at the Seine watching the Ladyblog's latest video, where Alya is talking up how amazing Chat Noir is. I hate to stop every five seconds to complain - okay, actually I don't - but I presume this video must've been made after the movie since Nino seems like the type who would actively follow his girlfriend's blog, yet not only is this video perfectly set up to echo the kids and the movie preview, but Alya - despite apparently caring about her boyfriend soooo much that she kept trying to convince Marinette to bend the rules - didn't even try to warn Nino or text him so he doesn't take it too seriously. It's like "Sentibubbler" with the conflicting messages about identity rules; Alya cares about her boyfriend but both isn't thinking about how he'll take the things she says and apparently doesn't know him well enough to realize that he wouldn't be mad over her keeping a secret that she was told to keep. I already talked about how they play up Nino to be the emotionally weaker one of the relationship, but then they don't have Alya try to cover or make up for that. She's been acting very much not like Alya - you know, the one who in "Sapotis" practically bragged about how great she'd be at covering for Ladybug - with her stutters and weak excuses, so I can't completely blame Nino for being upset after everything that's happened when he sees the writers projecting onto Alya as she talks about how Chat Noir is brave and funny and cute and showing all these images of him as well. I don't agree with all of his actions, but--oh yeah, speaking of which--

Nino calls Adrien and is talking to him about how Alya must be in love with someone else. Adrien dismisses the idea, as Alya and Nino are together basically all the time, and asks who she could possibly be in love with. When Nino suggests that it's Chat Noir, Adrien laughs and jokes about it being Fang instead. Nino points out the video but Adrien did see it but is overall unphased and convinced that it means nothing. Nino says that he'll find proof and hangs up, but Adrien is certain he'll find nothing. Plagg comments that Nino will find someone because Plagg's charisma has definitely contaminated Adrien.

Ugh.

Adrien expresses concern that he put on the cat's charm too much and accidentally made Alya fall for him, and decides to visit Alya as Chat Noir to be sure.

Meanwhile, we get a reference to film noirs as Nino narrates. That's the second blatant reference this episode and now I feel like they wrote this script while doing a movie marathon.

Chat Noir arrives at Alya's house and Trixx hides before Alya opens the curtains to reveal her surprise guest. Nino is nearby watching the scene with his phone as Alya wonders aloud if something's wrong. Chat assures that everything's fine, but brings up the video she posted. He insists that it made him happy, but points out that she's been following him and Ladybug since the beginning and that they know each other much better due to everything that's happened. He has some conveniently-worded dialog as he starts to say that he hopes something's just an illusion and Alya gets worried that he's about to bring up Rena. Chat continues and clarifies that he wonders if she started to feel something for him, though adds that he understands because just look at him.

UGGGGH.

Chat clarifies by making a heart with his hands, which Nino sees. Alya laughs at this gesture and states that she has a boyfriend, doing the same heart gesture and suggesting that her love for Nino is even more than that. Chat Noir apologizes - hm, I didn't know he had the capacity to do that - and hugs Alya, saying that he was just confused.

An absolutely unnecessary hug for two people who, at least in terms of their current selves, have had very little screentime together, but this is also the show where making eye contact basically means your friends and it's all just to push the plot along so Nino inteprets that Alya is in love with Chat Noir, so whatever I guess.

Alya states that Nino is far more irresistable than Chat, then adds that she doesn't even know his secret identity, and she'd never fall in love with someone she doesn't know. Nino then runs away upset and the scene cuts away to the next day where--

Wait, wait, wait, hang on a second. Two things right off the bat there.

First off, we're just gonna sidle past that "wouldn't fall in love with someone you don't know the identity of" while ignoring the existence of the love square? Not even Chat thinking about how he doesn't know Ladybug's identity and trying to excuse that he doesn't have to? This guy is that certain of their relationship?

Secondly, Nino is practically sobbing and Shadow Moth doesn't take this as his opportunity? Same guy who akumatized Mr. Pigeon 72 times and has akumatized Gigantitan more than once? What is this pacing???

But--alright, so Adrien comes into school and sees Nino, still dressed up in his detective gear, which gets ignored completely as Adrien goes to tell him about Chat Noir and Alya. Because the show doesn't know how Adrien would convey this within reason, Nino interrupts him, taking him down into the lower part of the school where he has a desk and chairs set up. Adrien goes to ask when Nino had time to do this, but Nino slams his hand on the desk to cut him off. Nino presents the evidence he took and they go back and forth, likewise with Adrien turning off the background music while Nino turns it back on. Adrien insists that it's a misunderstanding, but pleads innocent when Nino asks how he knows. Adrien states that Alya is just a superhero fan and that she and Chat Noir have nothing in common.

Again, the complete lack of self-awareness is astonishing.

Adrien repeats what Alya said about secret identities and how she wouldn't fall for someone she doesn't know - they're really ignoring this, aren't they? - and continues hitting Nino's soft spots about how unlikely it is until Nino decides to tell Adrien something he's not supposed to.

He tells Adrien, not only that Alya is Rena Rouge, but that he's Carapace. Adrien goes through a range of emotions beyond sAD for once, shocked at the fact that they know each other's identities. Nino states that they don't keep secrets from each other, except now Alya is with Chat Noir. Adrien still doesn't understand and brings up how secret identities have to be protected, or else Nino wouldn't have told him because Ladybug wouldn't agree to it.

Oh, here we go. So that's why they waited.

Nino states that it was Ladybug herself who gave them their miraculouses at the same time; not giving the reason why, of course, nor pointing out that they're temporary heroes so there's understandably some leeway. Adrien is having a moment, but manages to bring the subject back to Alya and Chat Noir, who he still doesn't think are a thing. Nino argues that it's because Adrien doesn't know Chat Noir, but he does because he's Carapace and knows how Chat Noir acts. He says that it's all flowers and confessions when Ladybug appears, but he gets rejected because Ladybug thinks that he's annoying, and she's right. He adds that Chat flirts with Rena Rouge and that's all that needs to happen, with Chat stepping in on the first mission Carapace lost in. Nino laments the loss of the love of his life and wishes to shut Chat Noir up forever; we all do, Nino, we all do. Shadow Moth finally steps in with - oh, less than eight minutes left in the episode, yikes - and Nino is akumatized into Rocketear.

Rocketear rejects Adrien's pleas to stop, insisting that Chat Noir is who he's after, not Adrien, and Adrien transforms in sad fashion despite Plagg's reminder of who Rocketear is after. Alya, meanwhile, is in the art club with Marinette - wait, since when was Alya in the art club - telling Marinette about how Chat Noir thought she was into him due to the video, which Marinette groans at. There's an earthquake and they peek outside to see Rocketear firing his tears at Chat Noir, shouting that he stole Alya from him. Chat Noir tries to tell him otherwise, but Rocketear won't listen.

Alya groans at Nino doing this, then she and Marinette set off to find a place to transform. They conveniently go to the same place Adrien and Nino were, so they see the desk that Nino had set up.

Genuine question, how seriously does this episode want me to take itself, because now when I recount all the unnecessary love square drama in my head - because you know that's where this is going - I'm going to have to think, "Nino, dressed in a detective outfit, ripped off his fake mustache and told Adrien both his and Rena's identities, and also that Ladybug was totally cool with it and thinks that Chat Noir is annoying."

Gettin' two completely different vibes here. The episode clearly wants to be important but it doesn't take itself seriously either, which it totally could while including enough jokes to keep things light. Instead, I'm just left scratching my head and wondering what tone they're going for.

Marinette finds Nino's phone on the desk - I'm calling continuity error on that one because he at no point put it on the desk, at least not on-screen - and she questions Alya on the video she sees. Alya insists that nothing happened, apparently completely unphased by her boyfriend having spied on her, and says that he wouldn't have misunderstood if he'd heard the actual conversation.

The two transform and Ladybug immediately uses Lucky Charm, receiving a projector. Ladybug is clueless and Rena Furtive suggests creating an imaginary movie like Nino. Ladybug gets an idea, remembering Alya's earlier comments, and Rena confirms that she remembers every word of it.

Aaaaand, just like that, all of the tension has been completely sucked away. You know, "Backwarder" was a trash episode, but at least when Ladybug was showing every step of her plan, she didn't tell us what it was.

Meanwhile, Rocketear and Chat Noir are still arguing--I started zoning out at hearing the same thing over and over again at this point, so I just presume they were fighting over who does stuff behind their love interest's backs better; I don't think they came to an agreement but they're both losers anyway.

Chat Noir says that he'll prove his innocence, tossing his baton aside to show him giving up, but Rocketear points out that it proves nothing and strikes Chat Noir with his tears.

Our endgame love interest, everyone. Straight As yet about as smart as a sack of bricks, and that at least won't flirt with anyone non-consensually.

Chat Noir makes a point that he doesn't want to hurt Rocketear, and Shadow Moth tells Rocketear to take his miraculous before finishing him. Chat Noir can only weakly tell him not to before Ladybug snags Rocketear's wrist and diverts the shot. Ladybug explains to Rocketear about the projector and how it'll let him hear the audio of the recording he took. She adds that she doesn't know what Chat said, but she trusts him.

Marinette, I'm sorry, I feel so bad for you.

Ladybug turns on the projector and Rocketear relaxes at actually hearing what was going on. Rena then de-transforms and hurries out to meet with Rocketear, hugging him as Rocketear apologizes for doubting her. Alya also kinda sorta apologizes in a way I don't understand and Rocketear then breaks his akumatization, very casually, all on his own.

Yeah, just--casually, in a matter of seconds in fact. You know, it's really sad when people resisting akumatizations are more tense and emotionally compelling than them breaking them. This is twice in one season now and has zero impact considering that Nino's reason for being akumatized was already taken care of so he had no reason to stay akumatized anyway. Him breaking his own object to release the akuma would've at least been different, but instead it's just a repeat of what Alya went through with even less tension considering that Alya's wasn't even that good in the first place, relying on her relationship to Ladybug rather than who she knew to be her best friend.

Moving on, Ladybug captures the akuma and uses Miraculous Ladybug to bring everything back to normal. Shadow Moth monologues about how love and secrets don't go well together and he's sure that she has a lot and I'll talk about this later.

Ladybug hands over the magical charm, which Nino takes but insists that he won't need it, as he'll never let Shadow Moth use his love to manipulate him again. Plenty of other things to get akumatized over, but they gave the supposedly ace character a robot to help him stick out and also gave the supposedly aro character a miraculous back in season one to give her more importance. If characters aren't in love then they need something to ceompensate for it.

Nino apologizes to Chat Noir for being wrong and Chat Noir assures him that everyone has doubts, even him. He gets sad and Ladybug asks him what's wrong, but he insists that he's fine - officially throwing away his right to be upset at her later as far as I'm concerned - and they do their usual fist buuuuu--

...Really?

Everyone then splits up and Chat Noir sulks by himself instead of--you know, talking to Ladybug, or asking her anything, or making any sort of excuse for her because that would mean he actually has faith in her and understands that their partnership is different from temporary heroes, even if the excuse was as basic as her wanting to protect him more than the others because he would be that egotistical if they didn't want to stretch out this unnecessary drama.

Later on, Adrien is staring at a picture on the Ladyblog that might be a metaphor for the show considering how "in the foreground" Chat Noir and Rena are.

Adrien vents about Ladybug giving miraculouses to Alya and Nino, but Plagg states that she's the guardian. Adrien clarifies that he's referring to Alya and Nino knowing each other's identities, but Plagg doesn't see the issue. Adrien gets huffy and asks why the rule exists for LadyNoir but not Ninya, but Plagg again points out that she's the guardian, so she makes the rules, though obviously he uses cheese metaphors to convey it.

Okay, Plagg is only, like--half-right because he doesn't have all the information. If you don't mind me rambling for a bit, I'm on the fence here because, on one hand--yes, I agree that Marinette should be allowed to make her own rules, and I often do that in my writing because I think she should be permitted leeway in order to let herself be happy, but on the other hand, it's not technically her rule, as she had to let Alya and Nino in on their identities back in the Season 2 finale, so Fu was still around for a season. She wasn't even guardian yet!

Now, presumably so the fandom could blame Marinette if anything happened, Marinette never discussed this with Fu on-screen, so I can't say whether or not Fu knew, but I feel like he must've since Marinette had to have told him the heroes' identities off-screen, given "Party Crasher," and thus I imagine that Marinette would tell Fu everything that happened, which is consistent with what she does on-screen even if she'd keep things from him for a little while.

"Furious Fu" had also established that not even Master Fu followed rules completely, meaning that Marinette is in this awkward spot of mostly following what Fu taught her, which aren't all guardian rules anyway, and having to break the rules on occasion for various purposes. I can't say what Fu approved of and what he didn't, because episodes spend so much time on the love square that they forget about Marinette as a person and how she interacts with everyone else. From an emotional standpoint, I can't blame Marinette for not revoking the miraculouses of people whose identities get discovered because of her, as I imagine she feels guilty and it probably doesn't seem fair to force them into another miraculous or have them be entirely without one because of a mistake that she made, meaning that someone needs to be throwing a lot of red flags for Marinette to be through with them.

Though obviously, from the show's standpoint, it's just an excuse to not make new models, but I complained about that enough in "Sentibubbler" and this episode even went out of its way to design a detective model for Nino while spraypainting Alya's bodysuit in the same breath, so this is the world we live in.

Anyway, Marinette is essentially in this position where she still has Fu's rules hovering over her, but she's also trying to step out on her own and make her own decisions to varying degrees of success or failure depending on your point of view. Tikki--wait, no, bad idea--Su-Han then, could easily give input on these things, perhaps with Marinette discussing a modern day set of rules for someone her age and going back and forth with Su-Han on what the right choices to make are, finding something that's comfortable but within a realm of predictable control. Su-Han was okay with some rules being broken after seeing how Ladybug handled them and they could've easily made this episode about that instead, but instead, we get rules being set and then being broken on a writer's whim.

Which now brings us to the end of the episode, where Marinette is on the phone with Alya and apologizes for causing trouble between her and Nino. Alya tells her not to worry and she'll fix things - you know, those things that, to Marinette's knowledge, have already been fixed - and asks if Marinette trusts her. Marinette does, and Alya hangs up in order to face Nino.

Yeah, that feeling of dread in your stomach? That means you know how predictable the writing is and what's about to happen, good for you.

Alya explains that she has to tell Nino something and he's worried, this time trying to sheepishly break the tension. She explains that she's still Rena Rouge, much to Nino's shock, and adds that she's in hiding, which is why Ladybug didn't want her to tell anyone. Nino asks why she's telling him if she's not supposed to tell anyone - proving my point from a while back that he wouldn't have been upset had she kept it a secret - then asks if Ladybug agreed with it.

I want to give him a pat on the back for considering Ladybug, but he didn't even tell her when he had the chance that Adrien knows his identity now, so I'm just beaten down at this point.

Instead of answering the question directly, Alya says that she can't hide her identity from him because she loves him and they don't have secrets.

You know, like Nino telling Adrien about Rena's identity, or Alya saying specifically that she's a permanent holder, which I'm sure both of them will confess to since they said that they don't have--aaaaand the episode ends on happy triumphant music, okay.

I mean, I guess Alya at least didn't tell him that Marinette was Ladybug, but that is such a low bar and not even remotely worthy of congratulations when Alya told Nino the specific thing that Marinette told Alya not to tell; the thing that they had agreed on.

Nino wasn't upset anymore. He won't be getting akumatized either. Alya endured the supposed hardship of being a permanent fox holder for four episodes before breaking down and telling her boyfriend. Even her excuse doesn't hold any water because, again, they're both still technically keeping a secret, particularly Alya who knows Marinette's identity as Ladybug. The episode also apparently forgets that Alya and Marinette's friendship must not be as strong by her logic of telling Nino specifically everything, as Alya kept Rena Rouge a secret from Marinette for all of Season 3, but tells Nino about continuing to be Rena Rouge in Season 4. Boyfriends before BFFs without explicitly saying it, or to be more specific, whatever screws Marinette over the most, because that's what this comes down to, made worse by "Optigami" where Marinette told Alya that she'd tell her everything and I guess that doesn't go both ways.

"Sentibubbler" had Alya stress that no one would ever know. She promised Marinette and told Marinette to trust her, and the episode spent its entire running time talking her up and assuring Marinette that she was the right choice, even considering Marinette ridiculous for worrying when Alya had done something without Marinette's permission the episode right before it. Then, three episodes after "Sentibubbler," when Marinette is finally comfortable and trusts Alya completely, Alya betrays that trust. Nino betrayed that trust, knowing he wasn't supposed to do so but telling Adrien his and Rena's identity anyway, because he was losing an argument and needed to PROVE something.

Marinette gives them an inch and they take a mile. Marinette bent the rules so that they could continue to have the miraculous they'd started with and they disrespected her because it was hard for like a day.

And if this bites them back, it won't reflect poorly on them, it'll reflect poorly on Marinette.

It's not like Alya just overrode Marinette. She didn't go, "Hey, I'm telling Nino, I'm sorry," or tried her hardest to go back and forth with Marinette until they both agreed. No, she did what she told Marinette she wouldn't do without saying a word to her, because LOVE and SEEEECRETS.

And this only applies to her, of course, because don't think I didn't notice the parallels between this episode and "Truth," because WOW.

Episode begins with Marinette hoping for something and it blows up in her face? A date at the cinema that ends on a sour note? Plot-centric couple trying to get Andre's ice cream and the female with a secret needing to leave in a hurry? Boyfriend character getting akumatized over their girlfriend's secret? Boyfriend assumes/suggests that the girlfriend's secret involves Aaaaaadrien - or his alter-ego in "Rocketear"'s case - and the episode hints as much to him even though he's completely wrong? Akuma's colors are blue and black? THE BRIDGE?

But, ahhh, little difference, here and there, y'know, like how Marinette was forced to break up with her boyfriend while Alya got to keep hers, and Nino got to have long talks with Alya while Luka got little to nothing with Marinette.

Because do note that Alya, while trying to convince Marinette and talk to Nino about not keeping secrets, at no point suggests that Marinette deserves to be happy and deserves to have a boyfriend and that Marinette should be allowed to tell Luka her secret so they can get back together, so you have Alya here selfishly prioritizing her relationship with Nino while making no comment about Marinette's relationship, essentially asking Marinette to allow her what Marinette herself didn't have the luxury of, and Alya knows this because Marinette told her. It is both incredibly insensitive of Alya and incredibly insulting of the show to make so many parallels between this episode and "Truth" just to have everything crash down for Marinette because she's Marinette while everything goes well for Alya and Nino because they're not Marinette.

We've talked before about the formulas that are literally baked into the show, and one of those is how Marinette makes a mistake in every episode and has to learn from it. What that mistake is in this episode, I don't know, but considering that she apologizes for Alya and Nino's problems, I guess the show blames her for what they themselves had taught her.

Point being, there's a clear karma system in place, but it only applies to Marinette, and forcing her to mess up in every episode means that she is literally not allowed to be with Luka because had she been able to clear things up between them, he would've eagerly accepted her and they could've been happy. It'd be too difficult for her to mess up when Luka doesn't put mountains of pressure and expectations on her like everyone else. Factor that in with how she can be herself around him and it leads to situation that are too difficult for her to screw up in because her mistakes - more often than not - center around Adrien or her role as guardian.

And because another rule in the show is to bring up Adrien so they don't "lose him for too long," she can't avoid bringing him up either. If he's not in the plot, he has to be mentioned, leaving Marinette in a lose-lose situation that she'll never be free from.

So, let me just get this straight then:

The guy who spied on his girlfriend instead of talking to her about his assumptions gets to keep his girlfriend, not because he realized it was wrong regardless of whether he was correct or not, but because the situation had been cleared up for him, yet the guy who actively resisted his akumatization, saddened by his girlfriend's secrets but wanting her to share them when she was ready, gets broken up with and tossed to the wayside because he's not a rich blond boy who got a miraculous because he happened to be within the twenty meters of space where Fu was searching for new holders?

Meanwhile, the girlfriend who has gone against the wishes and insistence of her best friend - guardian of the miraculouses, by the way, so she calls the shots, something that Alya herself said in "Optigami" BEFORE GOING ON TO DO HER OWN THING IN THE SAME EPISODE AND BEING REWARDED FOR IT - is allowed to go against the wishes and insistence of her best friend again for the sake of "all love, no secrets" with her boyfriend and so she can have the happy ending she wants, yet the girl who was chosen for a miraculous without her consent, forced to screw up and talk about a random boy who doesn't even go out of his way to spend time with her, treated like absolute trash by writers who find humor in her misery, and is the only one to receive overly harsh and long-lasting consequences for her actions while also covering up and forgiving the actions of others within the episode where they do it...

doesn't get her happy ending, and won't ever get her happy ending. That thing Shadow Moth said about love and secrets not going well together? Yeah, only goes as far as the writers want it to, because both Nino and Alya still have secrets, and some of the ones they did tell each other were forced by someone else and kept until that very moment. This idea that people in love have to tell each other everything and that it makes a relationship stronger makes me immensely uncomfortable, and that lesson is also in "Guiltrip."

People should be allowed their secrets, and obviously there are exceptions for things that are being hidden with malicious intent, but being essentially forced to share everything or risk not having a "full and complete" relationship is stifling and sounds like it'd only cause stress.

This episode sucks. It furthers and confirms everything I've already thought about the show, Nino's screentime continues to be dependent on Adrien, Alya, or both, there are pointless references that completely take me out of the experience, and the utter betrayal from Alya and supposed message of the episode just reminds me that Marinette is inevitably going to be stuck with a guy who didn't even DO anything in this episode and is going to let himself stew instead of asking for any sort of clarifications from someone he apparently trusts so much.

So the takeaway is that Marinette's life is awful, she'll be forced to apologize for rules that she didn't even come up with herself, her best friend will walk all over her for the sake of her relationship with a guy - not even for the sake, really, they were going to be fine, it was more for HER personal comfort if anything - and the guy who actually makes Marinette happy and could've known her identity instead BECAUSE HE AT LEAST DIDN'T HAVE A TRACK RECORD OF SPILLING HER SECRETS gets treated in the exact same way that she does; like nothing, just something to abuse unfairly.

What a waste of an episode.

[hangezoeenthusiast]

Papa

Part 2 Part 3

let me know if you wanna be tagged please. this will be a series

fem!daughter!reader

word count: 1,855

person: c!schlatt, c!quackity, c!karl, c!sapnap

warnings: parents, cursing, yelling, orphans, cigars and alcohol mention (btw these are the warnings for now)

synopsis: you were loved, you were cherished, then someone left, and other people replaced that person, and you didn't like that.

-

Your biological parents threw you out of their home because they couldn't care for you. You were at least at the brink of 2 years old when this happened. They put you in a little stroller and took you to an orphanage. "Miss Jessica's Home For Orphans", it was a stupid place, but the place got you fed, and clothed.

On some fortunate day, you were going to get adopted. Quackity his name was. He came in, and asked for kids 2-6. "Those ages are easy to maintain", he thought in his head. He was contemplating whether or not to get a child of his own. He was lonely, no one to love, no one to care for. So Miss Jessica called everyone 2-6 years old to come.

With help from a older person, everyone 2-6 came downstairs. Quackity looked at everyone, and wondered which child he would bring home. Then he looked at you. you looked so adorable, so cute. He asked you, "Hey kid, what's your name." "I'm Y/n, how are you." you smiled at him with barely any teeth. He pulled you gently off to the side, "Hey kiddo, do you want to come with me to my house?" "Yes Mr." you answer.

You were glad to go to Quackity's house, you never had any love from anyone.

-

(Spongebob theme) 8 years later

You were 10 years old, living happily with Quackity. 8 years ago, he came to the orphanage and picked you up, ever since, you were showered with love and care. But there was one thing, you never called Quackity dad. You would just call him Alex or Quackity.

“Hey Quackity, what’s for lunch?”

“Ummm, some pizza with wings, buffalo right?”

“Yeah.”

Quackity felt bad, you never and did call him by dad, or any parental name. “Hey kid, can i talk to you about something.”

You put down your water, “Yeah, what’s up?” “So lately I’ve noticing that you have been calling me by my name?”

“Are you uncomfortable with me using your name.” you asked. “No, no, but it’s kinda weird, since, yaknow, I adopted you, and I’m a parental figure in your life, so maybe if you would call me dad or another parental name that would be cool?”

“Ohh, the only reason I was calling you by your name because I thought you were uncomfy with me calling you dad?”

“Oh thank goodness, I thought I did something wrong.” he sighed out.

"Could I possibly call you papa, since you-" he cut you off by hugging you. He squeezed his arms around you really hard, 'YES, YES, ANYTHING."

So after that, you would call him papa or dad, and sometimes use his real name.

-

6 years later, you were 16. The election happened, the calling out of the votes, Coconut2020 coming in fourth, which was last, who was lead by Fundy and Nihachu, Schlatt2020 coming in third, lead by Jschlatt, Swag2020 coming in second, lead by Quackity who is your papa and Georgenotfound, and Pog2020 coming in first lead by Tommyinnit, Wilbur Soot, and Tubbo. Also the sudden announcement of Schlatt2020 and Swag2020 polling votes, and the speech by Schlatt stating that Wilbur Soot and Tommyinnit were no longer citizens of L'Manberg now turned Manberg.

You were surprised, you didn't know that your father with add his votes with Schlatt's. So immediately after Wilbur and Tommy got banned from Manberg, Quackity and Schlatt called you and Tubbo up to the stage. "HEY YOU TWO, COME UP HERE." Schlatt yelled at you both. You both were reluctant to go, Schlatt was scary, his ram-horned self.

"It's ok Y/n, you're ok." your father told you. You stiffly went up the stage with Tubbo. "Tubbo, I want you to be the Secretary of State, and Y/n, I want you to be the First Lady, since your dad is the Vice-President." Schlatt demanded you both to be.

You didn't really want to be in a position of power. You were happy with living with Quackity, in L'Manberg, with no place of authority over anyone.

"Are you sure Schlatt, I mean, I suck at authority." said Tubbo. "Yes, I'm sure, I'm totally sure."

-

You were doing some paperwork for Schlatt when Tubbo came into your office, "Y/n, Schlatt and Quackity want you in their office."

"Ok, I need to finish this paperwork for Punz, he needs-"

"They said it's urgent."

"Fineee." you got up from your chair, "Thanks Tubbo, by the way, can you finish the paperwork, if you aren't busy."

"Yeah sure Y/n, just hurry up, they are really acting crazy in there." he jokingly stated. "Trust me, they're doing nothing."

You went out of your office, and walked all the way to Schlatt's. There, you found Quackity and Schlatt sitting together, talking about some random presidental shit. "Hey, what you guys needed me for?" you asked. You were desperate to go back to your office, still not used to this place. "We need to tell you something." they synchronized.

"Okkk, so what?"

"Umm, well Y/n, meet your new dad." you gaped at Quackity, then Schlatt repeatedly.

"NOPE."

"NEVER."

"WHY HIM."

"HE SUCKS ASS."

"HE SMELLS LIKE CIGARS AND ALCOHOL, WHY WOULD YOU WANNA DATE SOMEONE WHO SMELLS LIKE THAT."

You rambled on and on until Quackity covered your mouth to stop your obsequent talking, "Calm down mi quierda, first of all, it's not your choice, he makes me happy, I make him happy, and lastly, he smells great."

"YEAH I DO, YOU TELL HER BABE, I DON’T STINK." Schlatt yelled across the room.

“But why him, like there is multiple other people who is better than him.” you whined.

“Ok kid, I like, no love him, he loves me, why can’t you be happy with that.” Schlatt told you irritated.

“But-”

“No buts, just please be supporting of us, please mi amor?”

“Fine, doesn’t mean I like it.”

-

After that little argument you had with Schlatt and Quackity, you finished leftover paperwork so there wouldn’t be a pile of it when you came back to the office the next day.

You heard a knock on the door, and told them to come in. To your surprise, annoyingly, it was Schlatt, holding up your favorite hamburger from McDonalds. “Hey kid, what you doing?” he asked you.

You didn’t respond to him, trying to stay silent and finish the paperwork. “Your dad told me your favorite meal from McDonald’s, yaknow, as a present I guess.”

You still ignored him. "Kid, I know you don't like me, I wouldn't like me either if I found out my dad was dating-" you interrupted him, "It's not that, I want dad to be happy, it's YOU, you don't deserve his love. Do you understand Schlatt?"

He put his hand on your knee, "I know, I don't deserve him, I'm not trying to replace anyone in your life, I just want to make Quackity and possibly you happy."

You blankly looked at him, "Ok, that was a good statement, but if you hurt dad, I will make sure you live the rest of your life feeling like shit."

"We got a deal kid, you accept this partnership between me and your dad, and I'll won't break his heart, deal?"

You shook his hand, "Deal Schlatt."

-

"Hey kid, we're going out to a date, you want anything from outside?" Schlatt knocked on your door to your room. You were reading your favorite book when Schlatt interrupted your reading process, "Nah, have a good date."

You were kinda accepting Schaltt dating Quackity. You didn't like their PDA though. It was absolutely digusting, but it made your father happy. "Hey babe, what you doing in here?" Quackity appeared at the frame of your door. "Nothing, just talking to little ol' Y/n, isn't that right?"

"Yes, don't call me that though." "Ok then, you ready babe?" asked Schlatt. "Yeah, Y/n, don't do anything stupid while me and Schlatt are gone." You rolled your eyes, "I'm not going to do anything stupid papa, just have a great night with Jcum." "HEY, DON'T CALL ME JCUM."

"Love you both." you got back into your book, not knowing that the both of them were shocked.

Those three little words got both of them gaping at you. You didn't like Schlatt from the beginning, and you were saying to him "love you"? "What did you just say mi amor?" "I said love you both." you didn't know that those words were significant to Schlatt.

He wanted your approval of dating Quackity, since you are his only daughter. "HOLY SHIT, YOU SAID LOVE YOU TO ME, TO ME." Schlatt leaped with joy. "Don't take it too serious Jschlatt, you kinda warmed up to me these past weeks." you smirked.

He walked to your bed, and hugged you with all his might.

"Schlatt."

"What are you doing?"

"You are squeezing me too tight."

"I can't breath right now, let go of me."

You squeezed out, he was crushing all the oxygen out of your body, "Sorry, Y/n." he shyly spoke, rubbing the back of his neck. "Schlatt, we have had a lot of arguments, I didn't like you, still kinda don't right now, but you are actually a good person, and I actually, not fakely, approve you to date my dad."

Schlatt ran out your room screaming repeatedly, "YES, LET'S GOOO."

-

Quackity was out doing some random things for Schlatt, while you were cooking Schlatt's favorite food. Since last week you declared that you were actually ok with their relationship, you actually got comfortable with Jschlatt being near you.

It was a teasing relationship, you guys making fun of each other when the other did something wrong. To kinda celebrate the event, you were making food. You heard the door open, and there Schlatt was in his presidential suit. "Hey Schlatt, what's up?" you questioned while mixing the pasta in the pot.

He took of his jacket, shoes, and tie, looking stressed, "Nothing kid, just stresed out" "About what?" "Tubbo needs a lot of items to get something for me, but I don't have them." he sighed. "What does he need?" "He needs stupid netherite, the only thing I don't have in hand." "I actually have some, I could give it to Tubbo." you stated. "Thanks kiddo." "No problem Schlatt."

"Anyways, food is going to be ready in an hour."

"Thanks, I'll be in my room."

"Ok dad." He stopped in his tracks, "What did you just say to me." "What do you mean?" "Y-you just called me dad." he stumbled on his words with unbelief lacing them.

You smiled over your shoulder, "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't, who knows?" "You actually consider me to be your dad?"

"Well yeah, you're nice to me and papa, you take care of me, you love me, so why not?"

He hugged you from behind, "Thanks kiddo, I'll receive this announcemet with honor," he jokingly stated. "No problemo dad, just go take a shower, you stink." "NEVER." he wrapped his arms around you as much as he could.

(This is the end of this first part, this is my first time making a series, let me know what you think)

[lesbianrobin]

a definitive ranking of how gay each st character is, as voted by me and 104 of you guys

i’ve gone through and calculated each character’s GNC, or Gay (Not) Quotient, named as such because i set this up poorly and the higher your quotient, the less gay you are. 

the GNC is calculated by finding the weighted value of each vote (a single vote for steve in 5th place, for example, gives him 5 points, while a single vote for steve in 8th place gives him 8), finding the sum of all weighted votes, and dividing by the total number of survey respondents (105) to give each character a rating somewhere along the scale of 1 to 13.

so without further ado here they are, from least to most gay (for the drama)!

13. hopper, GNC: 12.10

i don’t think anyone is surprised by this one. at least three of you indicated that you put hopper in last place specifically because he’s a c*p, which i cannot fault you for. personally, i’d put him just a couple of places higher because i think he probably had a gay experience in his youth that he didn’t NOT like and he just wrote it off as a couple of dudes being guys. he definitely isn’t a homophobe. however, i do think he’s pretty goddamn straight, so overall it’s a fair ranking.

12. lucas, GNC: 9.98

guys i’ll be honest. i was NOT expecting lucas to end up lower than DUSTIN of all people but it happened and i’m judging you all just a little bit. lucas may be straight but if he is, he’s one of those straight guys who has a huge crush on like michael b. jordan or someone, yknow? like his #mcm is actually hot and not just some weird ugly athlete. technically not an INCORRECT ranking, but he’s lower than he should be.

11. dustin, GNC: 9.91

so maybe i was a little dramatic earlier and there’s only a 0.07 point difference between lucas and dustin. what’s it to you. i think you all got this one more or less right i think dustin might be a little homophobic honestly. like he wouldn’t call you a slur out of malice but he definitely thinks they’re okay for him to say. fair ranking.

10. joyce, GNC: 9.45

honestly i don’t think there’s much to say about this one. joyce is pretty straight like yeah she wears lesbian jeans and she kinda had a mullet in s1 but they’re not aesthetic choices so much as her just being poor so :/ she’s definitely a very supportive PFLAG mom which is why i think she’s earned her ranking in the top ten.

9. nancy, GNC: 9.10

i know you r*nance warriors are to blame for this. i am not ashamed to say that i personally put nancy in dead last, as did 15 of you, and i am speaking my truth to stick up for all 15 of you because you were right, god damn it. nancy is in the young republicans and she can’t even say the words “gay” and “lesbian” she just says “like that” or “those people.” we all saw how she talked to robin that’s pure homophobia. 

anyway. nancy looked kinda dykey sometimes in s1 so i’ll let it slide this time. way too gay but not an OFFENSIVELY gay ranking, i guess.

8. murray, GNC: 8.69

rest in peace to dr. alexei. rest in peace love. rest in peace babycakes. you would have loved the results of this poll saying that your little jorts-wearing loverboy is, like, medium homosexual. 

six of you specifically shouted out either murrlexei or the gay little jorts in the comment section. three of you specifically said that murray is the most disgustingly heterosexual man you’ve laid eyes on (i’m paraphrasing). this man’s potential gayness is tearing our family apart.

shout-out to whoever put murray in first place. i can’t agree with you but wow do i love the confidence. i think this ranking is more or less fair.

7. mike, GNC: 6.18

this feels wrong :/ whoever put mike in last place ur sick mike did NOT put his tiny anemic little hand over will’s and say “crazy together” for that kind of disrespect. know your herstory. 

anyway. unfortunately for mike, all of these bitches are very gay, and somebody’s gotta fall behind. as we all know mike has a tendency to fall behind the rest of the group because his gay little legs are useless so i suppose this shouldn’t have come as TOO much of a surprise. decent ranking.

6. jonathan, GNC: 6.12

we’re officially in the top 50% of gayness. he deserves it. have you seen the way he stands? the way he puts his gay little hands on his gay little hips? the way he appears physically ill whenever nancy so much as looks at him? the way he’s extremely passionate about being different and “not liking things because people tell you you’re supposed to?” the way he has a nice, tasteful tapestry hanging above his bed?

that is a gay little rat boy. solid ranking.

5. el, GNC: 5.94

speaking of gay little rats! we all watched season 2. we all saw the overalls. we all saw el pull that “get out of my school” shit with max. we all know the truth.

i’ll be honest, i’m a little surprised you all voted el to be gayer than mike, but i’m not displeased. i think s3 is probably what gave her the edge, considering how much time she spent holding max’s hand and sleeping in max’s bed and wearing her gay little suspenders. 

all el needs is for someone to tell her that gay people exist and then she’ll not only get her powers back but become even more powerful than she’s ever been and when she goes into the void it will no longer be infinite blackness but the original rainbow road track from super mario kart for the SNES. good ranking.

4. steve, GNC: 5.67

king steve more like QUEEN steve amirite? 

you guys put steve just about as high as you possibly could considering the competition. and he deserves it! he didn’t wear all of those gay little vests for nothing. i’m very impressed with everyone’s judgment on this one. excellent ranking!

3. max, GNC: 3.83

many of you expressed regret at not being able to put all of our top three at #1, and i must say that i share your sentiment. there is not a single moment in all of stranger things where max mayfield is serving anything less than 100% pure, unadulterated lesbianism. sorry lucas but you’re gonna get hit with a bathroom scene eventually, it’s only a matter of time. f’s in the chat.

anyway, absolutely immaculate ranking.

2. will, GNC: 2.34

it’s what he deserves!

king of wearing gay little wizard robes. king of being a rude little bitch when his friends get girlfriends. king of not caring when his friends get dumped by their girlfriends. king of drawing rainbow ships and standing in front of rainbow apple posters and whatnot. king of not liking girls. king of dramatically destroying the physical representation of his childhood innocence in the middle of a rainstorm. king of getting called two different homophobic slurs by his own mother immediately after being trapped in a nightmare dimension with a monster that’s trying to eat him. 

will byers is all of this and more, which is why he’s absolutely earned his spot as the second gayest stranger things character.

and now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. our winner is...

1. robin, GNC: 1.30!

look, we all saw it coming but i thought she deserved the fanfare.

what is there to say about robin that hasn’t already been said? she’s sexy. she’s smart. she’s got chipped black nail polish and she wears thumb rings and men’s business casual attire with converse. she drew naked ladies and wrote “TIDDIESZ” on her shoes. she has both the desire and the ability to fuck your mom. 

now that she’s been bestowed the honor of gayest stranger things character, not only will she go down on your sister, she will ALSO go down in history.

thank you all for voting!

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Up until now voting had been a super convenient act that gave me a sense of community with familiar faces. I’d just walk around the block from Mom’s house and go to the polling place I’ve always gone, chatting to people I’ve known all my life. Today I walked around the block to see everything had changed.

It was obvious something was wrong when I looked up that street, but I had to walk all the way there to see the little sign saying there was a new polling place.

“NCESBA Auditorium”

I had no idea what that abbreviation meant at first. Now it wasn’t too hard to figure out. Other than churches only one place has an auditorium: the school. Thing is, though it’s been a long time since the schools stopped being a community school**, I have never, ever heard anyone use the abbreviation. Admittedly I don’t have any connection to kids going there, but all I have ever heard it called in conversation is “the school”.

Really, I bet a lot of older folks, still in the 20th century “Jamesville School” mindset I bet it was very confusing.

Anyway, I had to walk back to the house and drive to the school. School is in session, so the parking lot was pretty full. You had to find a spot, but then you had to find the entrance.

Turns out “auditorium” meant the emergency side exit to the auditorium, not either main entrance. There was a little faded flag saying “Vote here” near the door. It wasn’t really obvious.

I discovered I STILL have school issues. I spent twenty years having school nightmares, and getting so I didn’t feel a spike in my heart rate when I drove past the place. I hadn’t set foot in that auditorium since the day I graduated. My hands were shaking as signed the paper they handed me.

I hate that place. I hate it.

When I was a teenager I once had a dream where that auditorium featured. The school was a slaughter house kids were channeled through. My classmates hung on meat hooks on a conveyer that took them through that auditorium and to the butchering behind the curtain on the stage. The were alive a screaming as they swung over those deep red seats. All these years later the dream returned to me, vivid as ever.

There were no familiar faces. No one particularly friendly. No one that even smiled back at me. Obviously, this meant for the first time no one was asking about Mom, my brother, or even me. All white and super serious too.

It felt so cold. It has never felt like that, even in highly contentious elections like the last presidential one. There had always been a sort of friendly warmth, like “Yeah, I know who YOU are voting for, but we are still neighbors so how ya’ been doing.” This felt so….wrong.

There was no line, so it didn’t take long, though they said it had been incredibly busy earlier. Who knows what that will mean for the results. And really, I won’t be watching. I have too much to stress about to deal with the ups and downs of all this.

Voting done. That’s a relief.

It’s a lot less convenient for me with this new polling place. I’ll have to decide what to do next time. Early in person voting would involve going 10 miles away, but maybe I will finally go the mail route. I didn’t have the energy to research how to do it this time, and voting in person had always been so painless I didn’t need to worry about it. It was too much of an unpleasant chore this time. It might finally be better for me to vote some other way.

** TBH, county consolidation kinda killed the feeling of community in Jamesville. Up until then Jamesville school had been the sort of focal point of the area, where everyone mixed and social events occurred. I hated going there, BUT I had actually valued that aspect even then. I LIKED the fact all of us were thrown together, regardless of background. Now it’s only churches where people connect, all in their little bubbles.