#I’ve never actually gotten to see a jumper catch something | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

enthusiasticharry · 4 years ago

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the one where you and harry are keeping a secret from your brother, who happens to hate harry’s guts.

author’s note : hello everyone! i'm back with another fic, one that i can't believe i wrote so quickly to say the least. this is part of @harrystylescherry‘s playlist challenge. i chose drive on by miss charlotte clark because it is an amazing song, and i can only hope that i’ve don't it justice.

word count : 13.9k of a lot of angst, smut and only a tiny bit of fluff. i really don't know what happened to me.

please talk to me about drive on here. let me know what you think :)

But if we parted I'd be half-hearted So I'll leave the light on

As you were getting ready that evening, you knew that you were going to have to try your hardest to not show that you were absolutely dreading what was about to happen. The light sounds of Fleetwood Mac filled your room as you finished making sure that you looked okay. It seemed as though the longer that you looked at yourself in the mirror, the more you started to doubt that you actually looked okay.

You tilted your head to the side as you looked in the mirror, running your eyes up and down your own body as if to check that you’re at least presentable. Your outfit wasn’t too out of the ordinary, just a pair of black, flared trousers and a white knitted jumper because you knew that it is going to be quite chilly and you are going to be outside for a large portion of the evening and you make sure to pair it with some white trainers, ones that match so you start to feel a little more put together. Even though it certainly wasn’t the most out there outfit, it was okay and you had to keep reminding yourself of that.

Walking down the stairs, you could hear the mumbling of your brother, Isaac, in the kitchen, along with someone else’s voice that you immediately recognise as Daisy, your best friend. You’re not exactly surprised at their discussion, because whenever they’re alone in a room together you know that it doesn’t usually end up with them discussing sunshine and rainbows. The more you think about it, the more you struggle to determine which one out of the two of them is more stubborn, because they both are just as stubborn as each other.

“Baby sis!” You try not to roll your eyes at your brother’s greeting, “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

“We’re coming with you.” You respond, walking forward so that you can greet your friend with a hug. You knew that it was going to be a long shot of him letting you come with him, but if Daisy was too you knew that he wouldn’t be able to say no, and that’s why you go with her every single time. It’s how you’re cheated the system of having an overprotective brother.

“I thought you were going to Daisy’s for a sleepover?” He questions, and you nod your head.

“I am.” You smile, “But after.”

You walk over to grab yourself a bottle of water out of the fridge because you know that if you look at him in the eyes he’ll be staring at you in a way that you could do without. You know that he’s only saying the things that he is because he’s protective of you, but you also have to keep reminding him that it wasn’t the first time that you had gone out and been to a race with him, and it certainly wasn’t going to be the last.

Chugging down a bit of the water, Daisy extends her arm out to you and you pass the bottle to her, watching as she takes a sip before passing it back to you so that you can put the cap on. Even though you have been to the races before, that certainly didn’t meant that every time you did go you found yourself being more and more nervous for what you’re going to witness. It’s dangerous, and sometimes you feel a though you’re the only one out of all of them to notice that.

“Every fucking time.” Isaac shakes his head and you smile.

“Thank you.” You had an obnoxious grin on your face as you say the words, and you know it.

“Yeah, well. . .” He shakes his head, “Just come on and let’s get in the fucking car.”

The first time you went to one of the races, you remember not being able to focus on anything other than the fact that anyone could get really injured, or even die, at any second if they’re not careful. Maybe you were just too overly cautious, and you couldn’t ever find yourself focusing on the thrill and excitement of it all because you were too worried that someone was going to get hurt. It was even worse when the person you were worried about was someone you cared about like you did your brother.

“One of these days you will take me without putting up a fight.” You say, following him towards his car, “I don’t know when it will be but I can feel it.”

He looks at you as he opens his door, “That’s never going to happen. For one, I hate that you even come to where the races are held, more so that you stand and watch them.”

You shrug and climb in the car, “Mum and Dad don’t know that you race, and if they’re not able to be there and worry about your safety then I am going to be the one to do so. Can’t have you risking your life and at least not one of us being there.”

He shakes his head and tuts, “I’m not risking my life. It’s just competitive driving.”

You furrow your eyebrows and you hear Daisy chuckle, “You’re delusional.”

“Says you.”

The two of you hear a tut coming from the back seat, “I know the two of you are siblings, and this is just what I have to deal with, but sometimes I really do wonder whether or not you’re children hidden in fully grown bodies.”

“I’m not the child.” Isaac’s quick to say, “If anything, you’re the child!”

“Really?” You shake your head, “You must know that you saying that basically proving everything! You’re the child, Isaac.”

“God, I wish I’d never said anything.” Daisy shakes her head and you cross your arms over your chest, pouting slightly but trying not to make it too obvious because you really were trying to be the adult in this situation.

You and Isaac weren’t the closest of siblings, to say the least. The two of you never did much together and if you did it wasn’t voluntarily, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t care for each other because you certainly did. The two of you would protect each other without any hesitation, in any situation because that was the type of siblings that you were. That didn’t mean that you were friends, though, because you didn’t have to be. You loved each other, and you cared for each other, but you didn’t have to be friends with each other and you were both okay with that. It was was though you both had an unspoken agreement that you’d look out for each other in this way.

Turning onto the ever so familiar field, you know that it isn’t going to be long before your heart rate is going to feel as though it is beating out of your chest and your palms are going to start to get sweaty. You believed that you brother was good at what he did, he wouldn’t have gotten as far as he had if he didn’t, but even if someone is as good and as talented as he was that didn’t meant that accidents don’t happen.

There isn’t just that fact that your brother is good at the sport to contend with, but also the fact that some people who do it may not be as good as he is, and they could be reckless, and in drag racing, recklessness gets people in trouble. You knew that, he knew that and everyone who participated and watched knew that. You knew that there were some people there just to watch the race whilst getting drunk with their friends and you didn’t mind that because that was what it was there to do, but you couldn’t stand the people who were there in hopes that something did go wrong, just to see a little bit of action in their boring day to day lives.

You supposed that a part of your worry for these games were because you weren’t just worried about your brother, you were worried about somebody else also. Isaac stopped the car so that you and Daisy could get out but you hesitated before doing so. You looked at him, and he nodded at you so you nodded your head and again and got out. You stood and watched as he drove away, making his wear to where all of the participants line up their cars before it starts.

Your eyes follow him, all the way along the man-made little road on the field and to where the other cars were. That’s when you see him, stood in exactly the same place as he was a few weekends before this one and a few weekends before that, leant against his car and his arms crossed as he chewed some gum.

The insides of your stomach flutter, and not in nervousness but instead in the complete opposite way. He catches your eyes straight away, raising his eyebrows at you as you smile at him. You nod your head, trying hard not to let too big of a blush cover your cheeks and he nods back. That’s as far as your interaction with Harry can go at the moment, because if anyone saw the two of you communicating you knew that all hell would break loose and you certainly didn’t want to be around to see that.

The race was going to start any second, and you made your way over to where Daisy was stood, knowing that she would have saved you a spot next to her so that you didn’t have to try and manoeuvre your way through the crowd to get a good spot to watch. You were relieved that you had arrived here not early enough to have to wait hours like you had before, because it was in the time like that where the overpowering feeling of worry was able to slip into you like nothing else and you would try really hard to overpower it but the majority of the time you never felt as though you could.

What YN worried about the most though, was the fact that whoever could be injured in the race, or something worse, were both people that YN loved. The two of them for different reasons, of course, but it was still love and all of the love you felt for them was important. You watched as they both sat in their cars, driving towards the starting line with such an ease that you wondered whether or not they’d be able to do it in their sleep. You wouldn’t be surprised if they could. You know that Harry has raced in hundreds of races, and you also know that your brother is quickly catching up to that, but that doesn’t make it any easier, for them or for you.

“Ready racers?” A woman walked in between the cars and held up a flag. Both her brother and Harry respond by a roar of their engine, “3! 2! 1! Go!”

You look down slightly once you hear their cars start, going along the man-made path and over all of the hills and round all of the bends. You only look down for a second before looking up and watching as they drive away from you. The people around you cheer, and Daisy even cheers from the side of you but all you can make up the courage to do is clap your hands slightly. Every time you stand and watch a race, you always say to yourself that you’ll never do it again because you don’t think that you’re heart will survive it, but then you always come back to watch the next race because you physically can’t keep away. Not when two people you love are doing something that you know could end badly.

They drive around, the two of them doing anything they can to try and throw the other off track but you know that it probably won’t work, because it works with everyone else but hardly ever with each other. You know that whoever wins will do so because of their speed, because that’s how it always happens when the two are up against each other. You stand there watching them drive for what feels like hours, the cheers only getting louder as the two of them fight for the first place prize.

As the finishing line draws to a close, they’re playing cat and mouse with each other, and you know whoever is next to cross in front will win.

It’s Isaac. Isaac won. You’re happy for him, but at the same time you know that Harry isn’t going to be the happiest but you’ll just have to remind him that he won last time and that he has to let other people win at some point. Your brother was cheering when he got out of his car, and you could see his friends bouncing over to him with smiles on their faces and drinks in their hands. You and Daisy make your way over, but you aren’t as excited they seem to see him.

“Are you two leaving now?” He asks and you and Daisy look at each other before nodding, “Satisfied?”

“Very.” You nod, “Well done.”

“Thanks.” He raises his hand up and points at you, “Am I picking you up tomorrow?”

You shake your head, managing to keep your cool as you did, “Daisy said she’ll drive me back. I don’t know whether you’ll be at work by the time we’re ready.”

“Sounds good. See you tomorrow.”

You physically let out a sigh of relief when you walk away and he believed you. You hate lying to him, you really do, but you just don’t see any other option to do what you’re doing without lying, which is horrible buy you really don’t know another wine.

Daisy slips her arm into yours as you walk away, “Where’s he meeting you?”

“In the usual place.” You nod, “I couldn’t see him when we were over there so I think he’s already gone.”

“Okay.” She nods, “I’m catching a ride with Dennis, will you be okay?”

“I’ll be fine.” You smile.

“Call me if you need anything?”

“You know I will.”

“Good.” She wraps her arms around you before pulling away, “See you soon?”

“See you soon.”

The walk to the edge of the field, just behind a row of trees that hide Harry’s car from the watchful eye of others isn’t a long one, and you can feel the butterflies bubbling in the pit of your stomach the closer you walked to it. Just as every time you did this, your stomach was in twists and turns tightly in your stomach until you have to place your hand upon it as though it would calm it but it doesn’t. It doesn’t calm down until you see the back of the man you loves head, a slight cloud of smoke around his head and his leather jacket on his body. A smile immediately broke out over your lips.

You bound over to him, immediately wrapping your arms around his waist and placing your cheek against the leather of his jacket. You can feel him tense underneath your touch slightly but once you hear and feel him chuckle, his whole body relaxes.

He hums, “Who might that be?”

He grabs your hands and lightly pulls them away from his body so that he can turn around and place his hands around her back. You grin and place your chin on his chest, laughing softly as he leans down and places multiple kisses around your face, “Harry!”

“What?” He grinned pulling away from you, shrugging his shoulders, “Do you not like my kisses or something?”

You chuckle, “I love your kisses, but don’t you think they can wait until we’ll out of public. Away from my brother.”

He pouts, dropping his head to your shoulder, “I suppose.”

Harry walks over to the passenger side of the car and opened the door for you. As you walked towards him, you placed a kiss to his cheek and slipped into the car. The nerves were back in your stomach as you watched Harry walk around the car and slip into the driver’s seat. The two of you don’t get to see each other as much as you’d possibly like to, so nights like these were special to you, and you hoped that he was just as excited and nervous as you were.

The second Harry was sat in his seat, and had started the car, his hand was on your thigh, squeezing the flesh through your trousers at you sat there. You really had missed feeling having him touching you, even though it hadn’t been that long. If it was up to you, Harry would be with you everyday and you would be able to kiss and touch him everyday without any issues, but you knew that just wasn’t the case.

You and Harry had been together for a little shy of three years now, hiding your relationship from literally everyone apart from a few trusted people on each side of you. It wasn’t that you wanted to hide, but you both knew that you just had to if you were going to be able to have the relationship that you had. When you were younger, Harry and Isaac were best friends. You could always remember sitting in the back of the car after behind picked up from school and being squashed into the door because the middle seat was always taken by Harry. You can’t quite remember why the two of them fell out, but you did remember that it happened when the three of you were around fifteen or sixteen.

It was a shock to everyone, because the two of them had been friends for the longest of times and Isaac did seem to be in a rut once it had happened. You had tried to talk to him about it a few times but he never said anything, so you turned to the one other person in the situation who might have to been able to help you. Harry. At first, he seemed to be completely shocked when you walked over to him one day after school and jumped into his car. He actually looked quite taken aback, but when you started asking questions about the falling out he just went quiet.

To this day you still don’t know what had happened between the two of them, but you do know that was the day that you relationship with Harry turned from being the generally acquaintances because you’re friends with my brother to something more. Harry was somebody who you had grown up with, and yes you could admit that he was handsome, but you’d never thought of him in a romantic way up until that point. A part of you wished that you had picked up on it early because you may have been able to kiss him sooner than you had but you were happy, and the two of you were now three years going strong.

The fact that your brother and Harry had fallen out, and when the two of you got together it was really rocky between them, you both decided that the best thing to do was just not to tell him, which led to not telling anyone. You had said that when things improved between the two of them you would tell him, but once the Drag Racing started, there was no way that it would ever improve between the two of them, and you just had to accept that.

Arriving at Harry’s apartment, it was almost as though your body was working on auto-pilot when Harry opened the door and you walked through. You kicked your shoes off by the door, walked into the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water and made your way into his bedroom. Harry was already stood in the small room, placing his jacket in his wardrobe. You quickly started to undress, swapping your clothes for one of Harry’s shirts and a pair of your pyjama shorts. You walk into the bathroom to take your makeup off and brush your teeth.

“Have you had any more thought into our anniversary trip?” Harry called from the bedroom.

“I’ve thought about it.” You say, running your make up wipe over your eyes, “That’s about it.”

You can hear his sigh even from the other room, and your inside’s twists in not the good way. The anniversary trip had been something that the two of you had spoken about for a long time, and it would be coming in a few months and Harry had been on your back for a long time so that they could get it booked, but you were thinking about a lot of other things rather than booking a holiday. You did hate that you didn’t have anything more to say to him, because you knew that he was disappointed, but there was only so much that you could say.

“I’ll need to book time off of work soon, YN.” He appears only in his boxers in the doorway, leant against it with his arms crossed, “I need to know the dates.”

“I know.” You sigh, turning so that your hip was leant against the counter, “I still just need to figure out what I’m going to tell Isaac.”

Harry sighs and runs his hand over his face, “I know. We can think of what to say to him later, but as soon as possible can you tell me the dates.”

He walks over and places his hands on your waist and you nod, “I will. I’ll check when I get home.”

“Good.” He presses a kiss to your cheek.

You hated hiding things from Harry, you really did, because that man really was your soulmate and the person in this world that you told everything to, so it felt horrible to be hiding something from him. Hiding things from Harry felt like ripping your heart from your chest — you just couldn’t do it— but here you were, doing it without anything happening.

It had been a long night for the two of them, and you knew that even though Harry had a brave face on, you knew that inside he probably wasn’t too happy that he’d lost. The thing about Harry, and your brother for that matter, was that they are so competitive, especially with each other, that when either one of them loses they try to seem like they don’t care but they do. When you walked back into the room, Harry was already in bed with his arms crossed and his face in a sulk.

You sighed and walked over to your side of the bed, pulling the duvet back and slipping under. Harry didn’t even turn to look at you, so you wrapped your arm around his waist and placed your head upon his chest so that he couldn’t help but look at her. You knew that the main thing that you needed to do right now was try and get him out of the rut. It could spring on him at any point but it was never anything that was easy to get him out of. You sighed and pressed a kiss to his bare chest.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You mumbled against his chest.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” He mumbled and you shook your head, lifting your hand up to push some of his hair out of his face.

“There obviously is.” You sighed, “You’re in your rut. Talking about it takes you out of it. I know that, you know that, but you’re just too stubborn to realise this.”

“I’m not too stubborn.” He pouts and you shake your head with a roll of your eyes, raising one of your eyebrows at him, “I just. . . fucking hate loosing to him. Talking about the anniversary, and I know why you haven’t said anything about it yet, baby, just reminded me. I’m sorry.”

You hesitate for a second before smiling at him, “I know you are, H, don’t worry. It’s my fault. I should’ve told you.”

“Don’t.” He shakes his head and leans forward, placing his hand upon your cheek, “Don’t apologise. I get that it’s hard for you, I know. I just. . . wish that I could take it all away from you. It’s my fault that you’re having to keep secrets from your brother.”

You shake your head, “It’s not your fault. I promise that it isn’t your fault. There’s been hundreds of times in the past three years when I could have told him.”

“It’s not just you. We need to tell him.”

If you needed anything else to love Harry for (which you really don’t because you love him with you’re entire being) you feel as though this would be one of those things. You couldn’t believe how understanding he was, and even though the two of you did have times where you butted heads on things, it was never over anything big like this. The two of you made sure that if you ever did have a problem that you needed to sort, there would be some arguing and shouting but there is in any couple, but the two of you always made up before it ended up turning ridiculous.

You turned your head to Harry and placed you lips on his, pushing his shoulders down with your hand so that he’s on your back. You move slightly underneath the duvet that you were both under, manoeuvring yourself so that you were hovering over his body, the two of your lips never separating. You were straddling him, your hands resting on the pillow by Harry’s head. Your hips ground against his boxers involuntarily, and you can feel him smiling against him. Harry moaned into your mouth, and you could feel his bulge growing harder and bigger beneath you.

Pulling away slightly you lean forward and place your forehead upon his, smiling as you place a small kiss to his nose. The hard and stern face of your boyfriend that you had seen earlier when he was racing had completely disappeared, and it was now replaced by his soft and flush features that he only ever saved for when he was with you, and you loved it. You could still feel his hard-on rubbing against your thigh, and you leant forward and placed your lips back on his. His arms wrapped around your waist and back, slipping them down until he could squeeze and knead the flesh over your pyjama short.

“You know I fucking love you, right?” He mumbles against your lips and you nod.

His hips continue to buck up to yours, whilst you grind yours back down to him. You pulled away and leant your head upon his forehead again, “I know you love me. You know I love you?”

He responded you flipping you over, his body now hovering over you. He gave you a boyish smile and nodded his head, leaning his head back down to place his lips on your neck, pressing small little kisses to the skin.

“I know you love me.” He mumbles against her lips, “Do you wanna feel me, baby? Have you missed me?”

You responded with a moan, the sound of his raspy voice goes all the way from your ear, all the way down your spine to the heat between your legs. You wouldn’t be surprised if your panties were completely ruined by now.

“Of course I’ve missed you.” You mumble against his lips, your cheeks flushing as you admit it to him. For years you two have been this close, but it didn’t stop you from being nervous every single time that you are near each other. It’s always how it had been, and probably how it will always be but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Tell me how much you’ve missed me.” He kissed down your neck, and you couldn’t help the smile that crossed you face as he did so, “Don’t hold back, baby.”

You threw your head back as he moved downwards, threading your fingers through his hair as you did so. You just hoped that it made him feel better than it was.

Walking home the next morning, your entire body was relaxed and happy in a way that it only ever is after you’d spent time with Harry. If you passed anyone in the street, you smiled at them and there was a slight bounce in your step. There was an excitement that there hadn’t been in you for a long time because you were going to look over your schedule and finally get yourself sorted for your anniversary trip with Harry. Walking through the door that goes into kitchen, you immediately walk over to the fridge to take the orange juice out.

“Morning little sis.” You jump out of your skin and turn around, leaning your back against the counter and lifting your hand up to your chest as it beats in your chest. Looking at your brother, it seemed as though he had just got back from a run, since he was all sweaty, he had his running shoes on and his headphones around his neck. Immediately your heart started to beat in your chest quicker, and the relaxation that you had felt before had immediately left your body and you feel back on edge as you do a lot of the time recently.

“Morning.” You grin, turning back around to open a cupboard to grab a glass that you could fill with the orange juice carton that you were still holding, “Been for a run?”

He nods his head, walking over to the fridge and taking out a bottle of water. When he wasn’t looking directly at you, a sigh escaped your lips. It was quickly over and he was looking at you again, leant against the counter across from you with his arms crossed.

“Woke up with the want to go for a run.” He explained and you furrowed your eyebrows, looking at him and he chuckles, “I know, totally unlike me but I really did just feel like it.”

You nod, your fingers tapping on the counter slightly, “Did you. . . did you go on your normal route?”

Isaac shakes his head, “I met up with D’Angelo. We went to the lake.”

Just like that, the worry that was in your body had left. The lake was on the other side of the town to where Harry lived, and where Isaac normally ran meaning that he couldn’t have seen you leaving Harry’s house which was good. You were starting to realise that the more you had to make sure that your brother hadn’t seen or didn’t know anything about you and Harry, the harder it was becoming for you to keep track of everything. The lie of staying over at Daisy’s had worked for years now, but the older that you got and the more that situations were changing for the two of you, it was harder to keep it as a lie.

“Was it busy?” You ask, trying to make conversation that made it seem as though everything was normal and nothing had happened.

He shakes his head, “Not really.” He hesitates for a second before looking up at you and tilting his head to the side, “I did see Daisy and Dennis though.”

And just like that, your whole body was back to being on edge and nervous. The only way that you could describe how you felt was a mixture of both shock and immediate nervousness. Isaac continued to drink from the bottle in his hand, with no malice or shock on his features at all. If he did know something, he would’ve had said something by now and you knew that because of how well you knew him and that’s in one of the ways how you were both similar — when you knew something, you couldn’t keep it a secret.

It was something that you had grown up with, your inability to keep secrets and you were honestly and truthfully so surprised that you and Harry had managed to keep your relationship a secret for so long. This wasn’t the first time that you had thought that Isaac had found out about your relationship, and it wasn’t the first time that you hadn’t been able to figure out how to get out of it but you knew that you would be able to get yourself out of it. You hoped that you would be able to get yourself out it.

You were started to get quite nervous though, with sweaty palms and a heart beating directly up against your chest. Your mind spiralled and you hoped that you were going to hear something that would stop your chest in the next few minutes.

“Did you?” You cleared your throat to make it seem as though you were more put together than you were.

He hums, “Yeah. They explained that you were walking home and that Dennis’ arrival was out of the blue.”

You nod and smile, your heart stopping to beat so quickly the second those words escaped her lips, “Yeah. He appeared and asked her to go on a walk before work later. I said that I’d just walk home so that Daisy could go. I think he’s going to ask her out soon.”

Isaac scoffs and crossing his arms over his chest, “I hope so. They’ve only been dancing around it for the last few years.”

You nod, “We’ve all said it. I don’t know how many times we’ve told her but anyway, I’m going to get in the shower before getting ready for work.”

You’re quick to walk out of the kitchen and up the stairs with your head spinning. The entire time that you’re getting ready, showering and doing your hair, standing in front of your mirror and looking at the marks that Harry had left over the entirety of your skin before putting your work uniform on, you’re thinking about what you’re going to do. Today you were going to book some time off work from the café during the week of your anniversary, and even though that Daisy would know why you were doing that, you didn’t have to tell anyone else there. When it came to being at home, and telling your brother why you were going to be leaving for a month whilst Daisy stayed at home was going to be hard to explain to say the least. You were going to have to think very carefully about what you were going to say.

Walking into the small café you worked at not that long later, you were happy to finally be in the place where anything else that happened in your life went to the back of your mind and you could focus on making drinks and serving customers. You had worked at the café since the day you turned eighteen, and you had worked there ever since. It wasn’t what you wanted to do forever, working in the little café with your best friend and your boss that is just an absolute asshole, but you just haven’t got the funds or was it the right time for you to try and get your dream going.

Your dream, albeit a big one, was to one day own your own café that sold your own treats that you made and looked the exact way that you wanted it to. You had been planning your own café and telling everyone you knew about it since sitting in your maths classes in middle school when you realised that school really wasn’t for you. You were okay in school, and you got good enough grades, but none to get you to what you wanted to do in life. Over the last three years, many of your conversations with Harry had been about your café and how you would work there whilst he would take over his father’s mechanical shop.

That was the plan for the future, but first — you had a shift to do and you had a lie to think of.

“Afternoon.” You mumbled as you walked into the small café, Daisy’s eyes immediately widening as she takes a look at you stood there, “How are you?”

“I’m sorry.” Daisy blurts out, not being able to stop herself from doing so, “I really didn’t know that he was going to be there, if I did I would have never gone there, you know that.”

“I know.” You walk over and wrap your arms around her shoulders briefly, “He doesn’t know, it’s fine. I shouldn’t be relying on you so much, Daisy, I know that. I’m trying to figure out what to do.”

“It’s okay, YN.” She mumbles, placing her hand upon your shoulder with a smile, “I know why you’ve done it, but I’m glad you’re finally coming to your senses. It’s three years too late, but at least you’re here.”

“At least it’s happening now.” You sigh, widening your eyes as you look at her.

“You’ll be fine. Everything will be fine.”

You sigh and nod your head, hoping that she was right.

You heard Harry’s car before you could see it, pulling up outside of your house in a quick stop so that you could quickly duck out and get it. Isaac was out for the night, doing another race in another town that Harry couldn’t do because he had work, so they had decided to spend the night together. Due to Isaac being out of town, they decided that they might even be able to go for a meal, to a restaurant, like a normal couple would.

You gave him a small smile and a peck on the lips as you sat in the car. There hadn’t been much discussion between you and Harry that week, not since you had left his that morning. It was odd, because the two of you spoke everyday, even if it was just to check that the other was okay, but the conversation this week had been limited to you asking him to come for a meal and him replying saying that he would. You always knew that this day would come, where the unspoken issue between the two of you had become too much for you to handle.

You had tried five times over the last week to say something to Isaac, trying to drop it in to normal conversation but you always dived away from it, as though you couldn’t allow yourself to say what you wanted to say to him. You had never been as nervous before in your life, and all you had to do was tell him about a secret that involved the one person that Isaac hated most in life and his twin sister. You just had to try your hardest to remind yourself over and over again that it was the best thing to do, and that you’d be happy if you were able to get the words out, but you just couldn’t.

The two of you arrived at a restaurant on the outskirts of the town you lived in, one that meant you would be safe if Isaac did return home and one that the two of you also knew would serve good food. The car ride continued without any words spoken between the two of them, and you tried your hardest to not feel the nerves bubbling inside of you, but you also knew that there was a reason why you were going to have this conversation with him, and there was a reason why you needed to feel nervous for it.

Sitting across from Harry in a booth that sat at the front of the restaurant, you couldn’t even bring yourself to take your eyes off of his face. There hadn’t been a lot of times during your relationship with Harry where you had felt like this, and it was usually always when the two of you were discussing the exact topic that you knew that you were going to be now. Whilst you couldn’t take your eyes off of Harry, it seemed as though he wanted nothing more than to not look at you.

“Hey.” He didn’t look up from the menu that he had in his hand, “Are you going to even look at me?”

You watch as he doesn’t even move a muscle, never mind do the thing that you wanted him to do which was look at you, “I’ve looked at you.”

“Not since we’ve sat down you haven’t.”

You watch as he sighs and drops the menu down so that it was rested upon the table between you and lifts his eyes up to look at you, “Happy now?”

A small smile breaks out your face, a sarcastic one at that, but a smile nonetheless, “Very.”

Harry rolls his eyes and leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. You look at him with your eyes widened. Why this was happening all of a sudden, you didn’t know, but you had a slight suspicion that you weren’t going to be able to argue your way out of this one with him like you had done in the past. The first thing that led you to believe that was the fact that you were in a public place, where you had to do your best to make sure that you were going to tell the truth and nothing but the truth.

As a whole, you were ashamed of your actions over the years, and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to apologise for everything that you had done in the past but you could at least try. Everything had changed now that you had your three year anniversary coming up, and you realised that there was so much more to life than trying to hide a stupid secret from your brother.

“Harry.” You start, a sigh immediately leaving your lips after, “I’m sorry. I really am.” He nods his head, “I don’t expect you to accept my apology, and I certainly don’t expect you to forgive me for the shit that I’ve put you through these last couple of years, but, I want to let you know that I am trying to fix things. I promise you.”

He sighs, “I don’t know how you can, YN. I’ve thought about it a lot recently, in the past week, since our conversation last week.”

“I have too.” You nod, your fingers messing with the hem of your jacket, “I have too. I’ve tried so many times, to tell him, but I just can’t and I don’t know why. He can’t do anything, I’m a grown ass woman and he’s just my brother. He can’t tell me who I can and can’t love, and I do love you Harry more than anything, but there’s a part of me that just can’t tell him.”

Harry cleared his throat and sighed, “I never told you the reason we argued.”

You shake your head, “Neither of you did.”

“Do you want to know?” He asked.

You shrugged, “I don’t know. . . if it will help, than yes.”

Harry sighed and nodded his head, running his finger over his bottom lip the way that you knew that he did when he was nervous, “We were in Eugene’s basement, having just watched one of his races and he had some shit, and we decided to take it. It was just us, everyone else had gone to do something else or get high somewhere else, and we were just sat.” You were hanging off of every word that he said, “We were taking about, I don’t know, life and all the shit that we usually do when we’re high and we got onto the topic of you.”

Your eyes widen, “Me? Why were you talking about me?”

“He mentioned you and how you wanted to do things with your life and how he was fed up that all he had to do with his life was race.” Harry chuckled and shook his head, “I couldn’t even help it, I just blurted out that I liked you and that I was going to ask you on a date, thinking that he would be happy for us, but instead, he punched me in the face.”

Your lips part, “He what?”

“He punched me.” Harry runs a hand through his hair, “And then he just started screaming at me, saying that scum like me wasn’t good enough for someone like you. The more he said it, the more I believed it and I believed it all the way until you got in my car and asked me to tell you what had happened. I didn’t, and I didn’t for a reason, because if I had told you maybe you would’ve thought the same as him, that I wasn’t good enough for you, so instead I asked you on the date, just like I had planned to.”

You let his words sink in for a while, the sound of them bouncing around in your head for a while as you look down at the table in front of you. You couldn’t lie and say that you hadn’t thought about what had gone down between them, and what had been said to make them despise each other as much as they did, but you certainly hadn’t expected it to be about you of all things. It started to all make sense now, how when you had asked him, after your first night together at his house, if he was okay that you didn’t tell your brother about the two of you being together, and he agreed. At first you had thought that it was odd, seeing as though this man didn’t know your motive behind why you were saying that, but at the same time, you didn’t know his motive behind why he said yes.

It all made sense.

You sigh and nod your head, “Why didn’t you just tell me? I would’ve understood. You know that I would’ve.”

He shrugs his shoulders, “Why didn’t you tell me about what you had been thinking? And what you had been trying to do?”

You shrug your shoulders, “I don’t know.”

“It works both ways, YN.” He shrugs, “And I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you but a part of you has to realise that there was a reason you didn’t tell me and you didn’t tell him. I understand a part of you was trying to keep it calm between us, but there had to be more than that.”

You can feel the tears starting to brim within your eyes, and the more that you thought about it, the more that you knew you were going to struggle to hold them back. You start to blink quickly, lifting your eyes up to look at the ceiling. It worked, and you managed to make sure that no tears slid down your cheeks.

“A part of me did do it because I knew that it would be easier for you, that you didn’t have to tell him that you were my boyfriend. I knew how hard that would’ve been for you.” You explain, lifting your hand up to scratch your forehead, “So I decided that for a little while, I just wouldn’t tell him. At least not until things had calmed down between the two of you. After a few months of waiting was going to say something to him, just drop it into conversation and then walk out of it with my hands up but then I realised that it wasn’t going to be that easy. The day that I was going to do it, he walked into my bedroom with this big news that he was so excited to tell me.” You take in a breath and sigh, “It was the news that you were starting to drive, and that he was going to beat you that night and I knew that if I had told him, he wouldn’t have just beat you in the race.”

“I can stand up for myself, YN.”

“I never said that you couldn’t.” She shook her head, “I just didn’t want you getting hurt because of me.”

“I wouldn’t be getting hurt because of you. I’d be getting hurt because of something we did.” He explains, “Just like you can’t blame this all on me, and me on you, I’m not going to let you blame this all on yourself either.”

“Harry.” You sigh and lean back in the chair that you sat in, “We’re going to have to tell him.”

He shakes his head, “He’s not going to like it.”

“I know.” You agree with him and hold your hand out, “But we’ve got to tell him.”

“I know we have.” He grasps your hand in his.

It turned out that you and Harry didn’t have to wait for too long to tell your brother, because when Harry pulled up outside of your house, your brother was already sat there on the steps of the house, waiting for you to arrive home. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing if you were completely honest, and a part of you realised that this was it. You turned to look at Harry slightly, a sigh leaving your lips as you did so.

“You still want to do this?” He asked, pulling his keys out of the ignition as the car came to a complete stop.

You sigh and lean over to place your hand upon his, “I don’t think we have a choice, now.”

“We do.” He turned his head to look at you, squeezing your fingers as he did so, “I could just drive away. Ignore him.”

You chuckle and shake your head, lifting your connected hands up to place a kiss to the back of his hand, “Come on. He might explode if we keep him waiting any longer.”

You certainly couldn’t lie and say that your brother looked like he was handling everything well, because he certainly wasn’t. His jaw seemed to be constantly clenched the entire time that you walked towards him, and you definitely saw his hands that were clenched by his sides in fists. You knew that he was going to be annoyed, and you expected that there would certainly be some shouting involved with this, but, she certainly didn’t want this to become physical at any point. In your opinion, it certainly wasn’t worth it.

“YN.” You stop in front of him once he’s spoken your name, and Harry is just a few steps behind you. Having him there really brings a comfort that you don’t really feel unless you’re with him, so if anything, you were happy that he was there, “What are you doing with him?”

“I’m—” You start, looking at him for a second before letting out a sigh, “He’s—”

You can’t find the right words to say what you want to say. You knew that it wasn’t going to be easy to explain to your brother, but you at least thought that you’d be able to get past the first words without choking up, but it seemed as though that wasn’t the case.

“Isaac—” Harry takes a step forward, so that he was directly next to you but before he could say anything else, Isaac holds his hand out to stop him.

“I wasn’t talking to you.” Harry clamps his lips shut, and you can tell that he’s trying to hold back so many things but at least he isn’t making the situation worse which you knew that he possibly could. Isaac then turns to you, “I was asking you the question. What are you doing with him?”

Letting out a sigh, you shut your eyes for a second to calm yourself down, “I’m. . . we’re together, Isaac.”

He lets out a sigh and shakes his head, tutting slightly as he did so, “When Eugene told me, I didn’t believe him. I said that you’d never do that to me because you know that I hate him more than I’ve hated anyone in my life before.”

At first you listen to the words that he was saying and you nod along, as if you’re understanding what they’re saying, but you quickly shake your head and cross your arms over your chest.

“I’d never do what to you, Isaac?” You ask, your eyebrows furrowing as you say the words you were speaking, “I’ve fallen in love with someone, Isaac, I don’t think that involves you at all.”

“But you know I can’t stand him!”

“Still here, you know.” Harry mutters, lifting his hands up and walking away from them slightly.

You turn over to look at Harry and glare at him slightly before you turn your attention back to Isaac, “Why do you think I didn’t tell you? I knew that you’d react like this.”

“What? I’d react completely sane, YN?” Isaac scoffs and shakes his head.

“Sane?” You physically can’t believe what you’re hearing, “Isaac, you don’t have the right to act like this over who is my boyfriend. Yeah, I understand that you don’t like Harry and he isn’t particularly fond of you either, but you don’t have a say in that.” You stop slightly and let out a sigh of relief when you realise that you’ve got him listening, “I would completely understand if you were upset about me not telling you and lying to you, but that is what you can be mad at.”

He looks at you but then he shakes his head, and you know that everything that you’ve just said has gone and he couldn’t care less about it now.

“YN.” You know that tone of voice anywhere, and you couldn’t believe that he was still acting like this, “It’s Harry. You don’t know the shit that he said, and you don’t know what it was like to sit and listen to him saying everything he said about you.”

This time, it’s you who lets the words that he’s just spoken sink in for a while. If what Harry had said to you earlier was true, that all your brother had to be upset about was him saying that he liked you and wanted to ask you out. Now, you’re not exactly sure how the male mind works, but you’re pretty sure that Isaac can distinguish between someone saying that they like someone and something else. You turn to look at Harry and he looks down at the floor, and that’s when you realise very quickly that there was something else to the story that you didn’t know. The mere thought of it made you feel sick. What had actually been said that night?

“Isaac.” You turn back to look at him, “What was said?”

“YN.” He shakes his head, scratching his forehead slightly, “I don’t want to tell you.”

“Tell me.” Your words are harsh and you can tell by the way that Harry backs away from you that you’re about to be in for a real treat, “Tell me!”

“When we were in high school, we had this list.” Isaac starts, and you know that what he is saying is probably really important context but you just want him to get to the point, “And on this list, we’d rank who we thought were the most fuck-able girls in the school.”

Your entire heart plummets to the pit of your stomach, “That’s disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourselves.”

“I am, don’t worry.” Isaac nods, “Harry never got involved with it, and we all knew why, because he was the good one who never cared about those things and everyone just accepted that. I certainly did.”

“Just get on with it, Isaac.”

“Well, we were in Eugene’s basement and we were high and drunk and everything was just a little blurred if I’m honest, but I asked Harry a question. I said, best friend to best friend, if you were to pick one person to go on the top of the list, and just be his one person and nobody apart from us would ever find out, he turned to me and said: you.”

You can’t figure out what your angrier at. You can’t decide whether it’s because Harry had actually said those words to your brother, degrading you in such a way that you had never ever expected him to or the fact that he had lied to you about what had actually happened. In honesty, you do think that thing that has upset you the most was that he didn’t tell you the truth. He could have told you what had actually happened earlier on in the day on you wouldn’t have cared, because you knew that he was high and drunk and he probably wouldn’t have meant it but the fact that he lied, made you feel sick to your stomach. It made you question whether or not he had lied to you at other points and you just hadn’t known because you were too naïve to see it.

You turn to look at Harry and he’s looking directly back at you, not at the ground and not anywhere else but directly at you.

“Harry.” You can already feel the tears start to form within your eyes, “Tell me it’s not true.”

Harry shakes his head and looks down at the ground, and you shake your head to try and back the tears. You know that if you open your mouth words will tumble out that you really don’t mean, and you know that you can’t let that happen but you’re in such a state that you know that you’re mind would be clouded with how upset you are.

“He knows it’s fucking, true, YN.” Isaac says from behind you, “That’s why we fucking fought and punched the living daylights out of each other.”

You shake your head again, the tears involuntarily spilling down your cheek, “Harry. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought—” He starts but then he shakes his head, “I didn’t—”

Just like you couldn’t find the words to say, it seemed as though Harry couldn’t either. You really didn’t care about what he said, and you wouldn’t care about what he said. There were things that you’d said when you were younger and in high school that you certainly regretted and you would hate if anyone was to bring them up but you wouldn’t lie about it. You had lied in the past and done things in the past that you didn’t agree with, but it wasn’t as though you were doing it for any other reason but to protect the relationships that you had made with people.

“Harry.” He lifts his head to look at you, “I think you should go.”

“YN. . .” He takes a step forward towards you but you hold your hand up.

“Just for tonight.” You nod your head, “We’ll speak tomorrow. We all just need to. . . calm down.”

“But YN. . .” He takes another step forward but you shake your head.

“Please, Harry.” You close your eyes, “Just for tonight.”

He doesn’t seem very happy with what you had said but he nods at you once before walking over to his car and getting in. He slams the door closed behind him, and you flinch when he does so. You watch through the window as he looks at you one last time before starting the engine and driving.

He drives on, and he doesn’t look back, not even one last time and you watch as his car disappears off the street. Once you know that he’s gone, you start walking towards the end of the drive and down to the pavement.

“YN—” Isaac starts but you turn to look at him and shake your head.

“Not now.” You run a hand through your hair, “I’m going to Daisy’s. I’ll be fine.”

With that, you walk down the street and towards Daisy’s house, the thoughts of what had just happened dancing around in your head. You knew that this was going to happen at some point, and it would all blow up in your face, you just hadn’t know that it would be like this.

The next day you return home with bags underneath your eyes and yawns escaping your lips. You would say that you’re nervous, but after being up all night with worry in your stomach, you’re pretty certain that you’re just a little anxious but the thing that overwhelms your brain more than anything is the want for all of this to be over. You needed to sort things out with your brother, so you could go back to being siblings that annoy each other more than anything, and then you need to sort everything out with Harry. You knew that it was going to be hard, and you knew that your emotions were going to be high but you needed to get it over and done with. You weren’t going to allow your life to be like this for longer than it needed to be, and it didn’t need to be at all.

When you walked through the front door of your house, you didn’t know what you were expecting to see, but you really didn’t expect what you saw. Isaac was laid across the couch, with empty beer bottles on the table in front of him. You knew why he had done it, and you hated that it was your fault that he had done it but at the same time he was a grown man, just like you were a grown woman, and he knew that this wasn’t the right way to go about things.

With a sigh, you walked over to the sofa and picked up one of the cushions by Isaac’s feet and threw it air his head. He groaned and moved around and that was when you nudged his legs so that you could sit down. He groaned again but moved them away, and you heard him yawn and felt his body lift up from beside you so that he was upright.

“How’s the head?” You mumble, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning back in the seat.

He groans and does the same, “It’s been better.”

You chuckle and close your eyes, allowing a slight calmness to wash over your body. If there was one thing that you missed about getting older, was not being able to have the stupid conversations with him that made absolutely no sense to anybody but the two of them. But, something that you did know was that even when this was all sorted and everything went back to normal, you wouldn’t be surprised if not everything went back to normal between the two of you. It was something hard to understand, but you just had to accept it because you wouldn’t be surprised if it took years to fix.

There’s a silence between the two of you for a while, but you quickly realise that isn’t going to help you in your situation so without really thinking you collect yourself and let out a small breath that you didn’t know you had been hiding for a while.

“I’m sorry.” You say, the words coming out of your mouth stronger than you had expected them to. You thought that they would at least be broken, but they weren’t, “I’m sorry for everything, but most importantly, I’m sorry for lying and keeping it from you.”

You don’t know what Isaac is going to say, and the fact that you don’t does make you worry slightly but you know that you’d be able to handle whatever he was going to say. You would be able to handle it because you were strong, at this point you needed to be.

“I accept your apology.” He says, and you turn to look at him with tears in your eyes. He nods at you and smiles, “The more I thought about it, the more I understood why you did it. If the shoe was on the other foot I would’ve done the exact same thing. I wouldn’t have even hesitated to.”

You nod your head and close your eyes, a few tears falling from them but you’re quick to lift your hand and wipe them away. He reaches over and grabs your hand, and you squeeze his as you do so.

“I shouldn’t have lied to you though.” You shake your head, “We don’t lie to each other.”

“Oh.” Isaac shakes his head and you furrow your eyebrows at him, “We don’t lie to each other but we certainly keep secrets. The amount I’ve kept from you. . . you’d probably kill me.”

Your lips part in shock, “Are you going to tell me them?”

“No.” He shakes his head, a chuckle leaving his lips, “I maybe will later, but right now, you’ve got somewhere to be.”

“Have I?” He taps his hand on your leg and stands up, and all you can do is furrow your eyebrows in response.

“You have.” You watch as he grabs his jacket and places it on his body, “And I’m going to take you there.”

You know straight away that Isaac is talking about going to see Harry, and just the fact that he was going to take you made you want to burst out into even more tears that you had been before. You didn’t though, because you were able to keep your calm and just smile and nod along with him, but it was certainly hard for you to do. It felt as though you were getting acceptance from Isaac and although you knew that you didn’t really need it, it sure felt good to have. You offered him a quick smile and got into his car, driving you to Harry’s and leaving you there with a squeeze of his hand.

Even though you weren’t that nervous when it came to talking to Isaac, speaking to Harry was a completely different thing. Whereas you and Isaac had a sibling bond that could never be broken, you and Harry had a bond, one that was love to the highest degree, but it was still a love that could be broken. You just hoped that this wasn’t it and you hadn’t met the point of no return just yet.

You palms were sweaty as you knocked on his door, and your heart felt as though it was going to beat out of your chest but you knew that this was the right thing to do. You could hear shuffling behind the door, and then it swung open, and you wanted to sigh in relief just at the sight of him stood there. He looked like he hadn’t slept, but you hadn’t either so it was something that you both had in common, and he had his joggers hung low on his hips in a way that you always found so endearing whenever he did it.

“Hi.” You say, the corners of your lips tilting upwards slightly, “Can I come in?”

He opens his mouth as if to say something but then he just ends up nodding his head and opening the door wider so your body can slip through. It looks exactly the same as the last time you had been there, and it felt comfortable and like your home. It certainly was your home away from home, and living with Harry would be something that you wouldn’t mind doing in the future if time permitted you too. You had to remind yourself to take a few steps back and look at the situation ahead of you, and how you had a lot of things that you needed to talk about before anything else in the future could happen.

Walking into the apartment, you hear Harry shut the door behind you. You knew that he wasn’t too far behind you, so you turned around.

“I didn’t think you’d be here so soon.” He muttered, shrugging his shoulders, “I thought you’d need a few days.”

“I said I would talk to you tomorrow.” You smile and nod your head, “I’m wasn’t about to go back on that.”

You swear you can see the slight lift of the corner of his lips, and it’s the first sign to you that everything might actually end up being okay.

“I know you think we have things to talk about but I actually just have one thing to say.” He says, taking a step forward towards you. You watch as he hesitantly reaches out and grabs your hand, and you smile at just the feeling of his skin on yours again, “I’m sorry, That’s all I can say. I’m sorry that I said those things all those years ago, and I’m more sorry that I didn’t tell you about it when I had the chance. It was stupid of me, and I can understand if you want to. . . if you want to.” He physically stops and you can tell that he’s struggling with something, “If you want to break up with me.”

You gasp at his words, taking a step forward and placing your hands on his cheeks, “Harry. . . no. Don’t think that. I’m not going to break up with you over that.”

You can hear him physically sigh and you couldn’t even understand why he dared to think the way that he was, “I didn’t know. I didn’t know how you’d think.”

“Harry.” You lean forward so that your forehead is on his, “I’m upset that you lied, but I did too. If anything, we’re just as bad as each other. That’s probably why we’re so perfect for each other, right?”

“Right.” He chuckled, nodding his head, “We’re perfect for each other. I love you so much, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” You close your eyes as you let the words sink in, “If there’s one way I know how we’re never going to go through anything like this again, is if we promise to never keep anything from each other again.”

“We won’t.” He mumbles, “I won’t.”

“Good. I won’t either.” Your hands grip onto his arms as they wrap around your neck, “I need you, Harry Styles. I do.”

“I need you too.”

With that you open your eyes so that you can look directly in his, a small smile breaking over your lips at the fact the two of you knew that he needed you just as much as you needed him. It certainly made this entire situation feel as though it happened for a reason, that it happened so that you could be stronger than you already were. You never doubted that he loved you, and that you loved him, but there was the doubt that everything would have caught up with you, and that was something that you knew would be your fault. All of this was your fault, for not being honest in the first place, but that didn’t mean that you couldn’t find it in yourself to be honest now and get you and Harry through this.

Without even the slightest hint of hesitation you lean forward and place your lips on his, and he didn’t wait to kiss back, his tongue moving against his bottom lip before pushing it through your parted lips. Your tongue met his in your mouth, and you pulled each other closer, grasping at each other with the want and need that never stopped when you were around him. The spark that you always felt when you were with him ran all the way down from the skin of your lips to the tip of your toes, fluttering all over your body. You had told him that you needed him, which was the truth, but you were soon starting to realise that there was more to the need you had for Harry than what met the eye. It was something that went past all of the words in the dictionary to actions that you needed to name, and that’s why you pulled away and rested your head on his forehead.

“Harry.” You mumble, “Take me to the bedroom.”

He pulls away and furrows his eyebrows, not expecting those words to slip from your mouth, “Are you sure? We don’t have to.”

“I’m sure.” You mumble against his lips, “Never been more certain of anything in my entire life.”

He presses kisses against your neck and shoulders as he places you down on the bed, his body hovering over yours. When he starts to put a little more pressure on your skin with his teeth, you can’t help the light moans that start to escape your lips. He starts to toy with the hem of your shirt, and you respond to him by lifting your legs and wrapping them around his waist. Your hips move in circular motions to his, and it’s his turn to moan into you.

You pull away and sit up, pulling your shirt over your head and revealing your bra to him. It wasn’t the nicest bra you owned, but it got to the point in your relationship when you didn’t need to wear fancy lingerie all of the time to feel good enough for him, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t every now and then to feel sexy. Every now and then, though, just like you felt now, you realise that you don’t need to wear anything to feel sexy because just the way that Harry looked at you made you feel like that. The was his eyes raked up and down your body, across every inch of skin that he could see. That made you feel sexy. The way he looked at you made you feel sexy.

“Missed this.” He leans over and places a kiss to the skin of your shoulder, “Missed you. You’re so fucking beautiful, YN, you have no idea.”

You lean forward and capture your lips again on his, slipping your arm around his shoulder so that you could run your nails down his back, scratching lightly as you did so. He took it upon himself to slip his hands between the two of you and unbutton your trousers, pulling them as well as your panties down your legs. You remove your arms from around his neck so that you can unclip your bra and pull it down from your torso and throw it down on the floor with the rest of your clothes. This was how you loved it to be with Harry. You just loved it when the two of you were together, alone. You guessed a part of it was because that was all you ever knew of it.

Harry was the most loving and beautiful person you’d met in your life, and you would have loved to be able to show him off to the world as the one you loved but it just wasn’t that easy, but now you had the slight suspicion that you might be able to, and a part of you was excited about that.

Your hands extend back out to him, pulling his body back down so that he was hovering above you again. He places a single kiss to your lips before moving his way down your body, placing kisses to your chest before moving down to the top of your breast and then down towards your nipples. He moves from each of them, one to the other, giving each of them the attention that he always does. You smile and thread your fingers through his hair, running through the curls that sat on top of his head. You used it to pull his head back up and place his lips on yours again. He responds by immediately kissing you back, and he wraps his arms around you so that he could flip you over, so that you’re resting above him now.

You pulled back and rested your forehead against his, “You want me on top?” He nodded and you smiled, watching as he slipped his hands into each side of his joggers before pulling them down his legs, as well as his boxers, revealing his cock. You manoeuvre your body so that you’re further down the bed and so that your head is at the same level as him, and you lean forward, pressing a singular kiss to the tip. The sound that emits from his throat causes you to not hesitate in leaning forward and wrapping your lips around the top of him, starting to bob your head at a slow pace that you know is seemingly working because you can see his stomach moving up and down at a quick pace. Groans tumble from his lips, and you know that he’ll be getting close but before he can do anything else his hands press against your cheeks and lift you back up so that he can kiss you again.

“Don’t you wanna. . . ?” You ask, your eyebrows furrowing as you look at him.

“No.” He shakes his head, placing his lips on yours, “I don’t want anything but to be inside of you right now.”

You watched as he moved backwards slightly, so that you were close enough to the wall that you could rest of your hand against the wall as you manoeuvre yourself over him. His cock slips between your folds, and words can’t describe how wet you are for him, dripping all over him. You place your lips on his again and start to move yourself up and down his cock. The groan that escapes his lips is unlike any you’ve heard before, and you can’t help the smile that dances across your lips.

“You’re drenched for me.” He groans against your lips, “Fuck, I wanna be inside of you.”

“Be my guest.” You grin, and you watch as he leans down to grab his cock in his fist and you lift up so that you can line yourself up with him. You grasp his shoulder as you slowly sink down on him, the familiar feeling of having him fill you up overwhelming you. You had been together for three years and no matter how many times you had sex, it still manages to overwhelm you more than words can explain. You whimper when he’s fully inside of you, hesitating for a few minutes before you press your lips to his in another short kiss.

“So fucking tight.” He mumbles, “Best fucking feeling in the world.”

You tilt your head back slightly with a smile crossing your lips, “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.”

He chuckles but that’s quickly shut off when you start to move, bouncing up and down on his cock. Your nails scrape down his back as you move, and you can’t help the moans of profanities that leave your lips as you move. You knew you were squeezing yourself around him, it was always something that you did that caused him to clench his jaw, just has he was doing now. You quickly found a rhythm, swirling your hips and grinding them in a way that had both of you moaning out each others names.

You tilted your head back when he hit a spot deep inside of you that sent a wave of pleasure rushing over your body. He didn’t even hesitate to lean forward and capture your nipple in his mouth, flicking his tongue over the bud slightly before moving to the other. He wrapped his arms around your body and slipped them down your back, all the way until he grabbed the flesh of your ass and squeezed. His movements were harsh, but they sent a wave of pleasure through your entire body.

“YN.” You hum, leaning forward and resting your head on his shoulder, not stopping the movements on his hips, “You’re never going to leave me, are you?”

You move so that you’re sat up straight and look at him, “Why would you think that? I’m not going to leave you, Harry, never.”

“Good.” He leans forward and placing his lips back on yours. Your movements don’t slow down, if anything, they speed up and a string of moans escape your lips. His hands are all over your body, and his lips are too, and the the feeling starts to rush over you. You manage to keep your hips moving at the pace for a while before you slow down, and Harry notices this and quickly flips you both over. You lay on your back with your head on the pillow, and Harry doesn’t even hesitate when he slips back into you. His movements aren’t fast, but they’re certainly deep.

“So fucking deep, Harry. Feels so fucking good.” Your words only seem to egg Harry on, especially the way your nails scratch down his back, “I’m so close.”

Harry was hitting just as deeply inside of you as he had been when you were riding him, and the feeling tips you closer and closer to the edge. Your hands drop down to your sides to grasp the duvet cover, and you turn your head so that you can muffle the obnoxiously loud moans that you couldn’t help leaving your lips.

“I know you are baby.” One of his hands slips through yours, “Don’t hide them moans though, let me hear them, baby, you know what it does to me.”

You move your head back so that he can hear your moans, and he smiles as he continues to fuck you. It doesn’t take long before he’s tipping you over the edge and your orgasm hits you. It’s one of the most powerful you’ve ever had, and you have every reason to believe that it’s because of how high emotions are between the two of you at the moment. It’s intense and you can feel it everywhere, all over your entire body and more so in the pit of your stomach. Harry didn’t stop his movements, not until he hit his high as well and spilled into you. You didn’t care about anything else in that moment though, because you felt closer to Harry now than you even had been, and you never wanted it to change again.

Once he pulls out of you, a whimper immediately leaving your lips due to the emptiness you now feel. He quickly cleans you up, and then drops into the bed beside you, and you don’t even hesitate when you wrap your arm around his waist and rest your head upon his chest. When your eyes close, you let out a sigh of relief.

“Harry.” He hums, and you can feel the vibration of his chest beneath your ear, “I’m sorry I told you to drive away.”

“Don’t be.” He mumbles, his fingertips dancing along the skin of your arm, “We’ve all done thing that we aren’t proud of, but we have a new start. One where we don’t have to keep this a secret.”

You nod and smile, still not opening your eyes, “I love you.”

“Love you too, baby.”

#playlistficchallenge #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles au #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x yn #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles

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alicanta77 · 4 years ago

Note

jaemin and basketball

Jaemin spun the basketball on his forefinger effortlessly, flashing you his dazzling smile as he did. Na Jaemin, as well as being the basketball star, was a bit too flirty for his own good, which is why you never trusted a single word that came out of his mouth.

"It's simple." He stated, catching the ball in his hands. "Play me in a one vs one, and if I win, you owe me a date."

You crossed your arms across your chest, raising an eyebrow at his proposition.

"I don't get it. What's in it for me?"

"Besides a date with me?" Jaemin wiggled his eyebrows at you and you bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from laughing at him. As annoying as he could be, the two of you had always gotten along well, making it even harder to resist his charms whenever they were directed at you.

"Isn't my prize supposed to be something I want?" You challenged, a small 'touche' coming in response from Jaemin.

"Ok, how about this? If you win, you get complete control over every decision I make for a week." Now that caught your attention. "But, if I win, it's a date for the whole day, breakfast to dinner, and if we run into someone we know, you're not allowed to lie about what we're doing together."

You sighed, knowing that you would never get out of this, Jaemin seemed to have a superpower where he always got his way. So you shrugged, pulling off your jumper as you made your way onto the court.

You were standing opposite him, the ball bouncing steadily in his possession. You made a lunge, attempting to swipe it from him, but Jaemin was expecting your move. He easily rolled around you, jumping up swiftly and scoring a point.

You huffed, even though you were expecting that outcome it didn't mean that you enjoyed losing. You reset, this time the ball starting in your hands. You faked to the right, spinning to the left only to be met with Jaemin who took the ball from you, turning around and making another shot.

He spun back, giving you that trademark smile and you moved back to your starting position. This carried on for around fifteen minutes until you were out of breath and sweating and still not won a single game.

"Alright." You held your hands up in surrender. "I give up, you win.:"

Jaemin wasn't facing you when you said that so you couldn't see the splitting grin that instinctively grew across his face at your words. He caught himself, forcing his smile to shrink as he turned around. He jogged back towards you. You were resting with your hands on your knees as you caught your breath.

"One date." You murmured while holding up a single finger to reiterate your point. "I'm not falling for your flirting." Jaemin rolled his eyes at you, a groan leaving him. You stood up, looking at him in confusion. "What? You got your date-"

"No, y/n." Jaemin interrupted, stepping forwards so there were only a couple of inches in between you. Your breath caught in your throat at how close he was to you now. "Is it so hard for you to believe that you're the only person I want to flirt with? Yeah, I'm flirty, but I only ever mean it when I'm with you. I've not actually gone on a date with anyone else cause I've only ever wanted you."

"Really?" You breathed, not being able to form any other words through your shock at his confession.

Jaemin chuckled at you, shaking his head as his hands came up to cup your face.

"Why do you think I chose basketball? It's the only thing that I knew I would win at. I wasn't about to risk losing that date. So... how about this Saturday?"

"But, that's tomorrow."

"Exactly."

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prettyboisteveharrington · 3 years ago

Text

Line without a hook

Loki is always there to comfort you. One day you return the favour.

Fluff, hurt/ comfort

It was a cold night at the Stark Tower you were in your favourite jumper in front of the TV trying not to worry

The mayority of the Avengers were out fighting the latest threat of destruction to the Earth this week.

You had been asked to stay back to rest your leg after a particular tough battle the week before that had really damaged your knee.

You felt guilty that you weren’t there helping your fellow team mates.

Loki had offered to look after you, you weren’t quite sure why as you hadn’t spent much time together. You trusted Him though. You knew Him joining the Avengers had been a little rough on Him, not everyone had warmed up to Him after What he had done to New York. You weren’t an Avenger at that time so you didn’t have to fight Him.

I you weren’t exactly friends but you were always hesitant to talk to Him. You never quite knew What to say and you never talked unless you had something meaningful to add to the conversation

You were watching an episode of our planet about forests

When Loki walked in and started boiling water

Ahhh his usual cup of tea

You smiled to yourself. Being apart of the Avengers you started to notice People’s usual habits and behaviours. You found other people facinating and you had such fun watching Them.

Loki put a cup of tea Down in front of you and you looked up at him with a questioning look on your face

‘Thank you’

He nodded at you and sat Down a few seats away from you and started to read his book.

You noticed he didn’t have any cup infront of him

‘Where’s your usual cup of tea?’

Loki smirked

‘I’m not the one who is anxious’

‘I’m not’

He looked up from his book and raised his eyebrows

‘The tea will soothe your soul’

‘I’m fine’ you insisted stubbornly crossing your arms at your chest almost like a child

‘ clearly’ Loki added dryly going back to Reading his book

‘Fine i’ll bite.. What Makes you Think I’m anxious?’ You Said and gave Him a look

‘The jumper, the Nature documentary and the look of panic that graces your features’

You sighed

‘Am i really that transparent?’

‘Yes’

‘Fantastic’ it was your turn to dryly say

‘So Can i ask why you are anxious?’ Loki asked almost carefully

You looked at him for a minute almost debating with yourself if you should tell him or not but shrugged your shoulders and gave in.

‘I’ve never missed a mission, I’ve always been in front of the action. What if it’s actually better without me there. What if I’m -‘

Not Cut out to be here? Not good enough?Useless

You thought sadly.

Loki gave you an a look of disblief

‘ you Can’t possibly Think you Don’t belong’

You shrugged

‘Sometimes I wonder if I’m cut out for it. If I had moved out the way or been faster or stronger maybe I wouldn’t have gotten hurt’

‘You’re human. It happens’ Loki said trying to reassure you

‘Wouldn’t have happened to you’ you said back Defensively

‘That’s different I’m a god. You are a midgardian’

‘Sadly yeah. I don’t like how weak it makes me feel’

‘ you might be many things y/n but weak is not one of them’

Your cheeks flushed

‘What do you mean?’ You questioned

‘You are an excellent fighter, you always give it your very best and I think that’s quite admirable and definitely worthy of being part of a team ’

You shivered partly due to being cold partly because this was probably the most you had talked to the god in all the time you had been apart of the team.

With a flick of his finger your shoulders were covered in dark green blanket.

You smiled a wide smile for the first in a while.

And reached out to put your hand on his shoulder

‘Thank you’

Loki looked at your hand for a moment before looking into your eyes with an unreadable look on his face.

Before going back to reading his book and you went back to watching your documentary.

Both of you just sitting in silence and you reached over and Grabbed the cup of tea and took a sip

Mint. Your favourite flavour.

you didn’t think much of it and kept watching your documentary while you enjoyed Loki’s company.

One day you found him in the library looking for another book to read. you were in a better mood than the day he had joined you on the couch but you didn’t feel amazing either.

You gave him a nod before going over to the book shelves to browse.

You spotted your favourite book of all time and took it and sat down on the ground next to where Loki was standing and staring to read

‘To what do I owe the pleasure of your company’ Loki commented before going back to look for a book

you shrugged

‘If you don’t want company I can leave’ you suggested but he shook his head.

‘Are you anxious?’

You nodded your head

‘ what’s wrong’ he asked before sitting down next to you

‘Nightmare’ you added

‘How bad? Slight trauma or watching your family die in front of you?’

‘Burning alive kind of bad’ you shuddered

Shaking slightly

Loki flicked his fingers and a green blanket

Was around both of your shoulders.

Before he could ask if you wanted to talk about it you had already started to rant

‘ it felt so real. The flames. The burning sensation. I woke up gasping for air’

Loki hesitated before lightly touching your hand with his and he squeezed your hand in a reassuring way

‘It’s not real. You’re safe’

‘ I know’ you admitted before knocking your shoulder against his and going back to reading your book. He stayed by your side as you read.

Loki could somehow always sense when you had a bad day.. he was always ready with a book, a cup of mint tea or a blanket You had no idea how or why he cared but it was actually really sweet of him and it made you want to talk to him more.

This time you stumbled upon him having a rough day.

He hadn’t left his headquarters in days and you had become worried. So you had made him a cup of tea and had knocked on his door.

‘Loki?’ You asked

He opened the door and let you come in

He was sitting on his bed reading.

You sat down next to him and handed him the tea

‘Everything okay?’

‘Yeah I’m grand’

You gave him a look that suggested you knew he was lying

‘You might be the god of mischief but you are a terrible liar’

‘Me? A terrible liar’ he said pretending to be offended

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

‘It’s stupid’ he reassured you

‘I doubt it’

‘Sometimes I wish I was as likeable as my brother’

You looked at Him for a moment trying to decide if it was okay to make a joke

‘The god of Mischeif jealous ?’ You joked

Loki sighed

‘I know. Stupid’

‘No! I’m sorry ‘ you Said and leaned your body next to his and he leaned into the touch.

‘Can i ask why you feel that Way?’

‘All my life people have always favoured Him over me, our parents, our friends, even the Avengers not that i blame Them though’

‘I understand How you feel. Sometimes it’s so easy for people to be so easily Well liked but harder for you’

‘Because they don’t let the burdens of the world bother them’

‘I think it’s because they push it away rather than deal with it you know? But it’s far better to deal with it than to bury it. As for the avengers- give them time and they will see how great you are’

‘You really think so?’

You nodded

‘Also not all the Avengers favour Thor over you. I happen to think he is slightly overrated. I mean he can’t magically get me a blanket when I’m cold’ you added looking into Loki’s eyes and he stared back at you with the softest smile but didn’t say anythinng

You got up from his bed and held out your hand

‘Where are we going?’ He asked as he took his hand in yours and dragged you to the kitchen where you made him sit down.

‘What are you doi-‘

‘ I’m going to make you cookies’ you added and shot him a look as to say there would be no arguing with you.

Loki sat down on the counter And watched you put all the ingredients in a bowl

‘Can i atleast help’

‘Nope just stay where you are’

‘Yes maam’ Loki Said in fake salut and you rolled your eyes but smiled.

You rambled on about your life before the Avengers. About your favourite things in the world.

When you were done you put the cookies in the oven and sat on the counter next to Loki

you were deep into a conversation when Thor came into the room

‘ WHAT IS THAT GLORIOUS SMELL’ Thor Exclaimed

‘Cookies’

You laughed and Loki rolled his eyes but tensed up a bit. You hand touched Loki’s gently giving a reassuring squeeze and Loki relaxed

‘Ah lady y/n and brother! How are yo-‘ he didn’t finish his sentence as he spotted your hands on top of Loki’s

‘Actually i just remembered i need to go ask the Captain about something’ Thor Said with a wide grin as he left the room

‘What was that about?’ You asked confused

‘Heaven knows ‘ Loki shrugged

You let out a laugh.

‘Perhaps you could crush me with your thighs’ your date said giving you a suggestive look

You regretted going on this date. Put yourself out there they Said. It Will be fun they Said.

it was definetly the last time you would listen to anyone ever again. Even Loki had encouraged you to go for it.

If you were honest you would rather be here with him instead but you didn’t know if he liked you. You had grown close lately and you saw him as a good friend if not maybe something more. You just didn’t know if he felt the same.

Your date kept making more more sexual innuendos even though you had made him aware you were uncomfortable.

You had had enough.

‘This was a mistake’ you said as you got up

Your date grabbed your hand

‘Let me go or you’ll regret it’

‘Oh come on! Things were just about to get good’

You turned around and punched him in the nose with your free hand

‘Fucking bitch’

‘ if you ever come near me again I’ll show you what a real bitch does’

And with that comment you turned back around and walked back to the headquarters in a fowl mood

Loki was on the couch reading like usual, Thor was watching some action movie with Natasha and Bruce.

‘Y/N’ Thor greeted loudly as you walked past them all in pure anger

Loki noticed this and approached the kitchen slowly he had never seen you this angry before

You Leaned against the counter trying to catch your breath while holding a drink of water

‘Y/n?’ Loki asked

You looked at him

‘I’m never going on another date ever again’

‘What happened’

‘ lewd sexual comments thrown my way and the fact that I was grabbed and held back as I decided to leave makes me never want to date another person ever again’

‘Are you hurt?’ Loki asked concerned and he was looking for bruises on your body

You looked at him with an unreadable expression and the anger from before vanished

‘I’m okay’ you reaffirmed

‘How did you get away from him?’

‘I punched him in the face’ you shrugged as if it was no big deal

‘That’s amazing. Well done’

You smiled at Loki

‘I will never date again’ you swore

‘You will find someone.You just haven’t found your person yet. Give it time it will happen ‘

‘What when I least expect it?’ You said and took a sip from your glass of water

‘PERHAPS YOU SHOULD DATE A GOD INSTEAD’ Thor exclaimed over from the couch

Loki gave him a dirty look from his place over at the counter like he was throwing daggers at him with his eyes.

You spat out your drink.

‘Ignore my foolish brother’ Loki commented and you nodded your head in agreement.

‘How about we all go out for a drink tomorrow night instead?’ Natasha asked

‘Sounds good’ you agreed.

The next day you were getting ready to go out so you got dressed in a dark green satin v neck dress that reached your ankles, it had a slit in the right side. You were wearing a long silver chain with a moonstone pendant and moonstone earrings.

You had dark lipstick on, mascara and winged eyeliner. Half of Your hair was in a messy ponytail in a half up half down kind of hairstyle.

You walked into the living room area where the others were staring at you In shock but you only noticed Loki.

You were absolutely gobsmacked, you had never seen anyone or anything so beautiful in your life. He was wearing fitted black trousers and a fitted black shirt with his hair tucked behind his ears.

You were breathless and absolutely taken back because wow just wow and he was staring back at you with the same look in his eyes as you

You needed drinks tonight and many of them to distract you from doing something stupid.

Loki walked over towards you and stopped in front of you

‘You clean up nice’ he commented before giving you the brightest smile

Fuck my life

‘I could say the same about you ‘ you said nervously before your cheeks turned a dark shade of red.

‘Come on Lovebirds! Let’s go’ Tony called over his shoulder causing you both to jump a bit as you had forgotten the other Avengers were there.

Without much thought you took Loki’s hand in yours and walked out with the others, Loki hadn’t pulled his hand away but was looking at your hand in his.

Tony, Steve, Wanda and Vision had joined the rest of you for a drink at one of the local bars. Everyone was having fun and talking about anything and everything. You were finishing your second drink before deciding you needed a third.

‘I’ll get the next round you yelled before getting up.

You saw Loki being in the middle of a conversation with Thor, Bruce and Natasha, you smiled in his direction. You were happy for him. It seemed like people were finally warning up to him.

You went to the bar when you spotted your date from the other night but before he noticed you you rushed back towards the table.

‘He’s fucking here’ you breathed out

Loki looked over at you worriedly and walked over to you and Gently held your hands in his.

‘Who’s here?’ He asked calmly

‘ the jerk from my date yesterday’ you shook a bit as you spoke

‘Do you want me to take you home?’ Loki offered

You shook your head

Do you want to get revenge?’

‘No that’s childish and stupid and ‘

‘But do you want to?’ Loki asked you with a mischeivious grin gracing his features

You thought about it for a second.

‘What’s your plan?’ You asked with an expression that matched his.

Loki lead you out unto the dancefloor and you started to Dance next to each other

‘Loki How is this Revenge exactly ?’

‘Show Him that you can do whatever you want with your body. Trust me it will get under his skin. Follow my lead okay? If you are uncomfortable at any point let me know?’

You nodded

You danced for a while. A slower song came on, Loki looked at you slightly nervous.

‘One more thing? Do you trust me?’

‘Yes. With my life’

Loki looked at you somewhat differently at that moment than before but you weren’t sure what it meant.

He put his hand on your hip and his other hand in yours while your other hand was resting on his shoulders and your head was on his chest as you slowdanced on the Dancefloor.

‘Is that the guy from Yesterday?’ Loki asked

You looked in the direction Loki was looking at a guy watching Them intently

‘Yep that’s the creep’

‘Y/n?’

‘Yes?’

Loki looked Down at your lips then back up at you as if he was asking for permission

‘Yes’ you Said in a raspy voice

Loki leaned down and kissed your lips and you kissed him back with full force to the point where you were just passionately making out.

As the Slower song ended you pulled your face away from his face.

‘Is he gone?’ You asked looking in the direction of where the guy had been sitting before

‘Yes’

You pulled Loki into a hug resting your head on his shoulder

‘Thank you. So much’

‘Anytime y/n’ Loki said hugging you back fiercely

After you broke apart from the hug you went back to the others.

Loki and you held hands the rest of the evening.

The next day you woke up in the best mood. But that all changed as soon as you saw Loki.

He was reading on the couch like usual so you went over to the couch and sat down next to him.

‘Hi’ you greeted warmly

Loki didn’t look up from his book but just gave you a nod

‘Everything okay?’

Loki nodded once again and you felt your heart sinking.

Did last night mean nothing

You tried to engage in conversation with Loki a few more times but he wasn’t interested

You sighed and said

‘Didn’t realise I was that unwanted. I thought we were friends. I guess i was wrong’

You left the room before your eyes Got glossy

You avoided everyone for the rest of the day. You hid in your room.

The one person you had ever cared this much about was icing you out.

Yesterday didn’t mean anything to him and you would have to get over this stupid crush.

You were curled up in a ball in your room crying your eyes out.

Had all the times you had bonded lately not meant anything to him? Had all their moments and shared looks been for nothing.

You weren’t even sure what you were to Him now? An acquaintance?

Surely you were more than that though, you had come to Him for comfort and he had opened up to you at least a small bit?

Or were you wrong about that too?

How were you supposed to act around him now?

As the evening approached you went up to the top of the roof and sat down with a blanket wrapped you and you looked up and gazed at the stars.

You don’t know How Long you were up here for until you noticed Loki sit down next to you

You felt bad. You tensed up a bit and Got ready to go back into the headquarters.

‘Y/n please stay’ Loki pleaded almost desperately

You sat down next to Him and looked at Him expectantly

He looked Down at his hands and seemed to be shaking a bit.

Was he nervous?

You gently put your blanket around his shoulders and he looked up at you

You gave him a small smile. You knew that he didn’t get cold with being a frost giant and all but you figured it would at least be comforting and maybe it would give Him the strength to say whatever he needed to get out. He looked at you a bit more confidently now

‘ i shouldn’t have kissed you’

‘I kissed you back’ you reminded him

‘I’m sorry y/n i took things too far and i dont want to ruin our friendship ‘

You swallow a lump in your throat

‘Do you regret kissing me?’ You asked your eyes searching his

‘No! I wanted to kiss you all evening”

“Really?” You asked as your cheeks coloured

“Yes. You looked so beautiful yesterday that i couldn’t take my eyes of you”

“I felt the same way too. You took my breath away yesterday”

Loki gave you a playful grin, his eyes looking looking down at your lips and back up to your eyes

You leaned in and captured his lips with yours, kissing him with as much passion as you could muster and he kissed you back just as fiercely.

After a while you broke apart and smiled at him, your eyes gleaming.

‘If I’m being honest i agree with Thor. Perhaps i should date a god next’

‘ do you have anyone In mind?’ Loki asked and pretended to think but he had a genuine smile on his face

Your heart beated very fast in your chest

‘ a certain god of Mischeif if he is interested’

‘That Can be arranged’

‘Really?’

‘Absolutely’

You leaned over towards Him and met Him halfway until your lips touched in another kiss.

Afterwards you leaned your head on his shoulder

‘The stars are so beautiful tonight’

‘Their beauty is out of this world’ Loki agreed but he wasn’t looking at the stars. He was looking at you

The two of you managed to Fall asleep against each other

Thor, Natasha and Bruce found you two in the morning cuddled into each other

‘YES! I TOLD YOU THEY WERE INTO EACH OTHER’ Thor exclaimed

‘Oh piss off’ you mumbled tiredly and snuggled closer to Loki’s chest being slightly annoyed that he had woken you up

Thor, Natasha and Bruce laughed

Loki kissed your forehead and wrapped his arms closer around you. He was smiling and ignoring his brother.

————-——————-

A/N: I was desperately craving some hurt/comfort in my life. Also I see Loki as more soft after he joins the Avengers, hard to get to know? sure- but softer none the less especially if he starts to care for someone. As the quote in Frozen goes ‘some people are worth melting for’

Also enjoy line without a hook because Ricky Montgomery is👌🏻

#loki fluff #loki oneshot #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki laufeyson #Spotify

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artificialdaydreamer · 4 years ago

Text

How to Say "I Love You"

Emotions are hard to understand, conveying how one feels to the person they love is even harder.

Jon had never been good at expressing his emotions. Growing up he mostly absorbed their descriptions from books, how a character was excited for something to happen, how another was jealous of someone else. The feeling he found hardest to comprehend was love. How was it possible to be so completely devoted to another person that it shifted the way you felt about everything? He loved his parents, even now that they were gone. He loved his grandmother, but he got the feeling that the type of love written about in books was different from the emotions he was actually experiencing.

When he started dating Georgie, something he’d entirely misinterpreted when it had first happened, Jon wasn’t sure what the emotions he felt were. Was the yearning to be close to her love? The happiness to have someone he could talk with about inconsequential things? Then again, if what he felt wasn’t love, then what was? Eventually Georgie came to him, told him that while she liked Jon as a friend she didn’t think their relationship was working out. They’d broken up without much fanfare and going from dating to friends didn’t really change how they interacted with each other.

As he watched Martin sleep, his coppery curls catching the light of the rising sun, his face close enough to Jon’s that it was possible to count every freckle, Jon thought he might finally have an answer. He loved Martin, that was the only explanation for why his heart clenched whenever Martin smiled, why his cheeks flushed and his palms started to sweat from the smallest things. This was what people talked about in those books, what they yearned for with such intensity, wasn’t it?

When had he started feeling like this? When had Jon’s feelings for Martin turned to love? Was it when he’d gone into the Lonely? When Martin had started working for Peter Lukas and Jon was no longer able to see him? Earlier? How long had he loved Martin and just not realized it?

Jon lay there, thinking back to their interactions over the years. Next to him Martin started to stir, blue eyes blinking open slowly. “Morning.” Martin said with a smile.

“Good morning.” Jon tried to keep his voice from shaking as his heart pounded in time with his thoughts. I love you, I love you, I love you.

From then on it was hard to not feel overwhelmed by the love, like a wave crashing over him. Jon would be in the middle of a sentence before getting distracted by Martin, how beautiful he was, his laugh. I love you, I love you, I love you. How did people deal with these emotions?

He started to use actions instead of the words he could not say. Making sure they had enough of Martin’s favorite tea in the safehouse. I love you, I love you, I love you. Offering to cook breakfast so Martin could stay in bed a bit longer. I love you, I love you, I love you. Letting his fingers linger a bit longer than was necessary whenever they touched. I love you, I love you, I love you.

They’d decided to take a walk into town, grab some groceries, and stretch their legs, passing the field full of cows Martin stopped and cooed over them. He’d gotten out his phone to take pictures and the moment was so... normal compared to everything they’d been through that Jon started chuckling.

“What’s so funny?” Martin had asked, tearing his eyes from the cows to look at Jon in confusion.

“Nothing,” Jon took a breath, trying to burn this moment into his memory. “I just love you so much.”

There was a moment of silence where Martin just stared at him, his freckled face looking even redder thanks to the glow of the setting sun. “Wait... What?”

For a heartbeat Jon wondered if he’d said the wrong thing, although he hadn’t even meant to say it at all. He couldn’t help but question if Martin’s confession of “I really loved you” meant that those feelings were gone. Had he been the only one who worried about just what the emotions flooding through his veins meant? Was he just imagining that Martin felt the same way?

“I- I’m sorry... I didn’t mean-” Jon was floundering now, scrambling for something to say to make the situation right again. “If you don’t- I’m sorry.”

“You... Do you mean that?” Martin’s cheeks were practically scarlet, his phone now dangling precariously in one hand.

“I... Yes?” Despite the fact Jon had already come to terms with his feelings, had already said the words aloud, it felt like an entirely different thing to answer when his thoughts were in such turmoil. He didn’t know how to respond in a way that wouldn’t sound selfish, asking for affection he knew in his heart he didn’t deserve. Even if Martin did still like him there wasn’t anything that Jon could do to atone for the thing’s he had said, the things he had done, the person he’d been to have treated Martin so terribly. It was ironic, that at the time he’d swatted away such affection yet now he craved it as though he were an addict suffering from withdrawal. As though he’d been living underground and now that he’d seen sunlight he couldn’t get enough.

The expression on Martin’s face was hard to understand. Was it sadness? Pity? The books Jon had read as a child had talked about brows furrowing, lips being bitten, eyes not being met, but those individual descriptions could apply to so many emotions and Jon didn’t know what it was Martin might be feeling. It was all Jon could do to not scrunch his eyes up as Martin took a tentative step closer, then another, bridging the gap between them and effectively forcing all the air from Jon’s lungs. Then he’d swept Jon up in his arms, Jon’s face nestling into the crook of his neck. It was so warm and comfortable... It felt like Jon belonged there.

“S-sorry...” Martin gasped as they broke apart, his face still red as he seemed to examine Jon for some sort of reaction. “I should have asked first, but I- Are you okay?”

In all honesty Jon was not okay. His brain was attempting to sort out just what he was feeling, synapses firing and crossing out things like anger and disgust with only his limited knowledge of emotions to go off of. Again, the words and feeling threatened to overwhelm him with the constant pounding of I love you, I love you, I love you.

“Jon?” Martin waved a hand in front of his face and it was a real effort for Jon to pull himself out of his thoughts enough to meet Martin’s gaze. “Did I do something wrong?”

“N-no... I just... I wasn’t expecting- I didn’t know if-”

“Wait... Jon, did you not think I felt the same?” Martin’s eyes were wide, reflecting the setting sun.

“I, I’m not sure.” He’d spent so much time absorbed in his own thoughts that he hadn’t actually thought of what might happen if he confessed. He hadn’t even thought about confessing. Jon realized that he’d somehow become content with just loving Martin and not telling him. He’d convinced himself that Martin was better off without him, and that there wasn’t a point in confessing.

“Jon, I’ve loved you for the past two years.” Martin’s voice was soft, his cheeks still flushed as he stared at Jon.

“What?” Jon squawked, taking a step back in surprise. Martin reached out and grabbed Jon’s hand in his own, it was so warm, so comforting.

“Well, not exactly two years...” Martin ran his free hand through his coppery curls. “Since the thing with Prentiss, when you let me stay in the Archives...”

Jon remembered those long nights they’d spent together after Martin had started living in the document storage room. At first Jon had found Martin’s presence kind of annoying, it was impossible to get some time by himself. Then he’d realized what was going on, although he couldn’t explain just how he’d known.

Martin didn’t want to be alone.

While he’d admitted during his statement that boredom had been the thing that had been the hardest to deal with, Jon suspected loneliness had also plagued him. Cut off from everyone, no internet, no phone, and it wasn’t like he could talk to Jane Prentiss. It certainly explained why Martin felt the need to check on Jon every half hour.

Once he’d realized why Martin was acting like a concerned parent he made an effort to take more breaks so they could talk. At first it had been hard to find topics for discussion, as Jon was as good with small talk as he was with emotions, but bringing up the Admiral had certainly broken the ice. After that Jon found it easier to connect with Martin, it was still somewhat awkward, but he certainly made an effort. Jon had also ended up staying in the Archives overnight a handful of times as well, partially because he had work to do and partially to keep Martin company.

It had been those nights where they’d started to connect, going out to eat so they could both eat a decent meal, talking about random things to pass the time while they struggled to fall asleep. Jon had started to get a sense of who Martin was, underneath the jumpers and tea. He was earnest and always tried his best to do whatever task Jon set for him, no matter how absurd it was. He also had a mischievous side to him and had no problem joining Tim in his pranks, although Martin was much better at keeping the pranks a secret.

It felt strange, getting to know a person through whispered conversations, over tea breaks, or at a cafe. Jon was never good with friendships, never good at telling what people wanted from him, so he’d ended up pushing everyone away. After his encounter with Mr. Spider he only became more withdrawn, survivor’s guilt eating him up inside. Martin wasn’t like the others though. Despite the fact that Jon was horrible at communicating, horrible at deciphering what emotions anyone might be feeling at any given time, Martin didn’t seem to care. He seemed to be genuinely happy to spend time with Jon, which was just as foreign a concept.

Now, despite everything that had happened in the past few years, Martin had stayed with him. An anchor in the churning waves that threatened to wash him away from everything he knew and cared about. Jon loved him for that. “I think that’s when I started to fall for you too. I didn’t- I didn’t realize at the time...”

“Oh, I definitely didn’t realize either.” Martin’s cheeks were slightly less flushed than they had been. “I think I realized it when- this is going to sound crazy...”

“You realized it when, Martin?” Jon couldn’t help but ask, smiling at the flustered look on Martin’s face.

“It... It was when I told you about lying on my CV.” Martin sighed, not daring to meet Jon’s gaze. “You, you were so mad at first but after I told you... You just started laughing and I remember looking at you and thinking ‘really? This is the man I fell in love with?’ Thankfully Tim... Tim was too distracted by everything else going on to pay attention to my hopeless crush.”

“Not so hopeless.” Jon squeezed Martin’s hand. “I knew how much I cared about you when I woke up in the hospital after my coma. Georgie was there, and I remember being sad because it was you I wanted to see.” It felt strange to say the words aloud, as though he was only understanding what had happened. He’d been thinking about it so much over the past few weeks, since he’d realized that he loved Martin, but it took saying the words aloud for him to notice. “It was funny, the months that followed, I thought it was a fitting punishment for how I’d treated you. Wanting to be close to someone and yet unable to do so. I knew I loved you a few days after we arrived here.”

“Is that why you were acting so weird?”

“Look, I... I’m not the best with emotions. I don’t get them, I don’t understand how I feel half the time. With other people it’s even harder, trying to piece together how they’re feeling based on their expression or the tone of their voice...” Since he was still holding Martin’s hand Jon couldn’t cross his arms defensively over his chest, so he settled for putting his free hand in his pocket. “This is the first time I’ve ever... I’ve ever felt something so intensely. I didn’t know what to do, how to act, now that I knew I loved you.”

“I get it, emotions are hard. Can I help?” Martin asked, his lips quirked in a small smile.

“Sure? I guess so?”

“How did you feel when I told you that I loved you?”

Jon had to think about it, he’d been so overwhelmed by the tidal wave of emotions that he wasn’t sure what any of them had been. “I was... I think I was happy.”

“You think?”

“I was happy, alright?” Jon huffed. “I was also shocked, and confused... Mostly I was happy, because I loved you so much.”

“Alright, that’s good to know.” Martin took a step closer, still smiling. “How would you feel if I kissed you?”

The answer came easier this time. “Happy. I’d feel happy.”

“May I kiss you?”

“Absolutely.” Jon didn’t know what to expect from Martin kissing him. He’d kissed Georgie and while it hadn’t been unpleasant he hadn’t gotten anything from the experience. This time however, Jon could taste the remnants of whatever chapstick Martin had used, strawberry maybe? He felt how warm Martin’s lips were, despite the cold day, their heat bleeding into him. He wrapped his arms around Martin and pulled them closer, trying to memorize everything as it happened. Martin’s scent, the wool of his jumper, how fast both their hearts were beating. In his head Jon was panicking. He didn’t know what to do, or if what he was doing was the right thing to do. He attempted to understand what the emotions he felt were: happiness... amazement... and love. So much love. Was love even an emotion? He didn’t know, but it certainly overwhelmed his senses.

When they broke apart Martin was smiling and, more surprisingly, Jon was smiling back. “Let’s take it one day at a time, alright? We can work out what you might be feeling together.”

“I- I’d like that.”

I love you, I love you, I love you.

The words still rattled around in his mind, but for once they didn’t worry him. Jon might not understand love, or emotions, or why the characters in his books had behaved a certain way, but it didn’t matter. Martin loved him back, and that was more than enough for him.

I've been sitting on this fic for a year due to some personal issues, on a related note this is not betaed, I apologize for any mistakes there might be

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin #jmart #tma fic #my fic

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malfoymanortings · 4 years ago

Text

to be so lonely

REQUEST FROM @gxvrielle : George Weasley x Reader. I wanted the reader to be a muggle who is best friends with Hermione and attends her Wedding with Ron. She meets the Weasley Family and can't help but grow interested in George.

this one definitely got away from me. i had to cut it a bit short at the end, but if there’s interest for part two, i got yall!

hope this is what you wanted! or, at least suffices.

“Millie, you absolutely cannot tell anyone what I’m about to tell you.”

The summer heat was beating down on the two young girls. One had a wild, unruly bush of brown hair. The other, the smaller of the two, had her long brown hair pulled back in two neat ditch braids. They sat side by side on swings, their feet dragging them to a stop. Hermione Granger and Millie Wilkins had been friends since they were in diapers, and had no plans of changing that.

Millie nodded, her big green eyes staring doefully at Hermione. The tone of her friend's voice was different than usual, and it seemed to set off an alarm in the back of her head. She couldn’t help but feel that something was changing, shifting.

“Y’know how I can.. Do things that you can’t?” Hermione began, waiting until Millie nodded before continuing. “I’m a witch, Millie.”

It seemed as though Hermione was waiting for Millie to yell, maybe cower in fear, or even run away from her. The caution that was written all over the bright young girl's face almost made Millie laugh, were it not for her astonishment at the revelation Hermione laid down in front of her.

“A witch?” Millie repeated in hushed tones. “Like… like Cinderella’s godmother?”

Hermione nodded vigorously, her curls flopping about wildly. “Yes, exactly! Well, probably not exactly, but.. Close enough.”

Millie nodded, chewing her lip thoughtfully. “How d’you know?”

Hermione’s brown eyes glittered wildly, and she launched into an animated recount of a woman named Professor McGonagall, who had come to her home and explained that she was a witch. Hermione would be attending Hogwarts in the coming school year, a special school for witches and wizards. She would need to get special supplies, like a cauldron and even a wand, in a place called Diagon Alley, which was only available for magical folks to enter.

A hard lump seemed to have settled in Millie’s throat, as she realized that her only friend, her very best friend, nearly her sister, would no longer be with her in their next school year. It appeared that the only time she would get to see Hermione would be during the summer.

It appeared that her world had shifted around on its axis. It was a lonely feeling, even with Hermione right beside her.

Ever the intuitive child, Hermione seemed to catch onto what Millie was feeling.

“Oh, Millie, I asked if you could come with,” Hermione’s nose scrunched, and her mouth twisted down. “But she said you’re a muggle. Muggles can't come to Hogwarts.”

Millie’s heart twisted painfully, but she mustered a smile for her best friend. “Well, that just means you’re going to have to tell me all about it next summer. Oh! Maybe you could write me while you’re away!”

Hermione’s eyes glittered with excitement, and she launched into a detailed account of Owl Post, which is what magical folk used to send mail. Millie was almost able to forget that things were changing, as she felt herself get swept away in the excitement of the wizarding world that she herself would never be part of.

Hermione’s departure soon after was full of tears and many sleepless nights for Millie. She felt out of place without her best friend, and found it difficult to find her place in her new school. Hermione was supposed to be here, and it was hard for Millie to adjust without her. She constantly found herself daydreaming about the mysterious Hogwarts, and wished more than anything she was with Hermione.

Millie found herself drawn to the world of crystals and tarot cards around her fourteenth birthday, much to the amusement of Hermione. Millie soon became almost an expert on the subjects, and she felt more at ease having found her own kind of “magic”.

Summer rolled around once more, and Hermione had many stories to tell Millie of her new friends Ron and Harry. It appeared that Hermione had found her place at her new school, and Millie was happy for her, as long as she ignored the twinge she felt at her best friend's adventures. There was also an awful little cockroach, Draco Malfoy, who was utterly disgusting to Hermione. Millie vowed if she ever ran into Malfoy, she would punch him dead in his face.

Time seemed to move fast, after that summer. Millie found a place in her school, and made a few friends, although none of them were like Hermione. She still waited anxiously for summer to come, so she could drink in all the magic of Hermione’s new world.

Of course, good things don’t last forever. Their summers began to be cut short, as Hermione was whisked away to her new friends, and Millie still knew Hermione well enough to know that the witch was hiding things from her.

Summers passed, school years came, and soon, Millie found herself ready to move onto university. She hoped she would see Hermione, one last time, before she left, but she didn’t hold much hope. Hermione had shared very little of her new life, but what she did share wasn’t positive. There was a wizarding war going on, and her best friend was in the thick of it.

It was a sweltering hot day, and Millie found herself lounging on her front porch, swinging back and forth on the swing as she re-read Pride and Prejudice. She loved romance novels, although she herself hadn't experienced anything of the sort. Of course, Millie had plenty of suitors, but none of them were right for her. She always had a reason, and excuse, but truthfully, she didn’t want something mundane. She was still captivated by the world of magic, and no “muggle” had yet measured up to what she wanted.

She had grown alright with the idea that she would forever be alone.

“Hello, Millie.”

The porch swing had stopped moving as another person sat next to her. Millie would know that voice anywhere. She placed her bookmark in the book, and set it down next to her. Turning her head, she saw Hermione Granger giving her a wistful smile.

She wore a pink jumper, and worn jeans. Her hair was as wild as ever, pulled back in a low pony. A stark contrast from Millie, who had jean shorts and a tank top on, her hair neatly pulled into a braid.

“Hermione,” Millie smiled, taking her friend in a hug. “I’ve missed you.”

Hermione smiled sadly. “I’ve missed you too.”

Their hug lingered for a few seconds longer than usual. Millie had a sense of foreboding grasp her, and she looked at Hermione sharply.

“I get the feeling that this isn’t a usual, ‘home for the summer’, homecoming, hm?” Millie raised her eyebrows, chewing her lip out of habit.

Hermione laughed humorlessly, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. “It’s not, no.”

Millie nodded, and the two girls sat in silence for a moment, swinging back and forth on Millie’s porch swing.

“I’m going to University soon,” Millie said in the silence, running her fingers along the rough worn wood of the swing. “It's a few hours away from here. My parents aren’t too thrilled about me moving so far away, but it’s what I wanted. I got Valedictorian, as well, although I’m sure it would have gone to you if you would have been here.”

Hermione smiled wistfully, taking Millie’s hand in hers. “I don’t know, I think my competition would have beaten me.”

Millie shrugged, enjoying the feeling of Hermione’s hand in hers. “I guess we’ll never know.”

“Remember how I told you about the war?” Hermione blurted abruptly, barely waiting for Millie’s nod. “It’s gotten a lot worse. Harry, Ron, and I have to go into hiding. I don’t know.. I don’t know if I’ll get to see you again, so I wanted to come say goodbye. I can’t stay long.”

Millie closed her eyes, feeling her heart thud in her chest. This was what she had been afraid of. Leave it to Hermione to make friends with the face of the Wizarding War.

“Be safe, Hermione,” the words came out funny, her throat was closing. “If you can, when it’s safe… find me. Goodbye, Hermione Jean.”

Hermione smiled sadly, and pulled her in for one more hug. “Goodbye, Millie Rose.”

Millie took one last look at Hermione, and when she blinked, she was gone. In her place, was a photograph the two had taken last summer. Hermione and Millie had each other's arms thrown over their shoulders, smiling and laughing. To her shock, they actually moved.

She gingerly took the photograph, holding it tightly to her chest. This was the last memory she may have of her best friend, and it was magic.

A few years passed, and Millie had graduated from University. Although she hadn't heard from Hermione, she had never stopped thinking of her friend. The magical photograph of the two of them stayed on her dresser as always, and she grieved the loss of her best friend as though she had lost a sister. It certainly felt as though she had.

Millie was able to get a job in her chosen field, primary education, and she was due to start next week. She had her own flat in London, decorated to her liking with hints of magic and literature hidden throughout it. Throughout her home, there were crystals of all different kinds and shapes. They were comforting to her, even if they weren’t wizard magic.

Although she had many good things in her life, she still felt as though she was incomplete.

It was the middle of the night when she woke up to the sound of something crashing in her living room. Her heart thudded, and her blood ran cold. She slowly got out of bed, pulling on her robe. She cursed herself for not having any sort of weapon, and settled for a rather heavy candle she had been gifted for receiving her new job.

“Honestly, Ronald, this isn’t how I would have liked to enter her flat, breaking her plant all over the floor-”

“Oh really ‘Mione, because breaking into her flat at two in the morning is such a good idea itself-”

Millie stopped in her tracks. She would know that voice anywhere.

Rushing into her living room, she flipped on the lights. Hermione Granger stood in her living room, arguing with a tall ginger man.

“Hermione-” Millie sputtered, unable to find words.

“Millie,” Hermione rushed forward, smiling widely as she gathered her into a hug. “I’m so glad to see you.”

Millie held onto her tightly, relishing in the smell of vanilla and gardenias that the young witch always smelled of. Hermione pulled away, a warm smile still on her face. Millie took note of the changes the young witch had. There was a thin white line on her throat, similar to the ones Millie had on her thighs. There were a few more worry lines on Hermione’s face, and although she looked tired, she also looked.. Free.

“Alright, Hermione,” Millie gestured towards her couch and began making her way to the kitchen. “You and your friend make yourselves comfortable, I’ll put on the tea.”

When Millie re-entered the living room with her tea tray, Hermione and the ginger were both sitting on the couch. The ginger had Hermione’s hand in his, his thumb rubbing smooth circles over her skin. Millie’s eyes widened in understanding, as she realized this must be Ron Weasley, the ginger Hermione always pined over.

“Well, Ron, it appears you finally got your head on straight,” Millie sniffed, sitting down in an armchair. “Poor Hermione didn’t think you’d ever find your sense and make it official.”

Ron’s mouth dropped open in shock, and Hermione laughed rather loudly, covering her smile with her hands. Millie smirked, taking her cup of tea and dropping three sugars inside.

“Oh, Millie,” Hermione shook her head, fixing her own tea. “I’ve missed you.”

They stayed up well into early morning, as Hermione finally told her all of the details she had withheld over the years. Everything with Voldemort, Harry, the war. Millie learned so many things that she felt she had no more room for new knowledge. By the time Hermione was done relaying everything, Millie’s eyes were heavy and she couldn’t stifle her yawns any longer.

“Oh dear, I’ve been keeping you awake,” Hermione shook her head, standing up. She flicked her wrist, and their tea dishes were cleared away. “Before we go, there’s one more thing I’ve got to ask of you.”

Millie nodded, in astonishment of the overt display of magic Hermione had given her. She had never seen her do anything like that.

Hermione glanced over at Ron, who had been admiring her the entire time. A blush coated her pale face, and she shook her head slightly as she looked back at Millie.

“I’m getting married, Millie, and I would love for you to be there as one of my bridesmaids.”

Millie hadn’t been expecting that, although she should have. It made sense, the way she and Ron interacted. “Of course, Hermione. I would love to.”

Hermione smiled brightly, and handed her a card with details on it. “I’ll have one of Ron’s brothers come for you, when it's time.”

Millie narrowed her eyes, looking down at the card. “Hermione, this says your wedding is in two days.”

Hermione nodded, looking bashful. “Yes, it took me longer than I would have liked for me to find you. Your parents didn’t live in our old neighborhood anymore.”

“Yes, I convinced them to move,” Millie said softly. “I wasn’t sure if they would be safe with.. Everything.”

Hermione nodded knowingly, a sad smile on her face. “I understand if you can’t make it.”

Millie shook her head. “No, I’ll be there. Just… not much time to look for a dress..”

Hermione scoffed, shaking her head. “Oh, Millie, please. I have one for you.” with a flick of her wrist, Hermione produced a shimmering pale pink gown.

Millie’s eyes widened in shock again at the magic, and she gingerly took the garment from Hermione. It felt soft, silky, and she instantly fell in love with it. “Thank you, Hermione.”

Hermione smiled, and gave Millie one last hug. “One of Ron’s brothers will be here to bring you on Saturday.”

Millie felt that Saturday couldn’t come fast enough. She would finally get to see Hermione’s wizarding life.

Saturday arrived both quickly and slowly at the same time.

Millie wasn’t quite sure what to do with her hair, so she settled on leaving it down in soft curls. She knew Hermione, so she didn’t bother doing much more than natural makeup. The pale pink dress clung to her curves in a shimmery, silky fashion, the top cut in a v shape that exposed her ample chest. She absently wondered if perhaps Hermione had enlisted someone else to pick out the dresses, as the color and fabric was the only thing that shouted Hermione.

Then again, it wouldn’t be far fetched to assume the girl -woman- had changed during the years apart.

At a quarter to noon, Millie sat perched on the edge of her couch. All Hermione had said was that one of Ronald’s brothers would be arriving to get her, and that seemed to be all the explanation she was going to be given.

A sudden shuffling from her fireplace alerted her to someone’s presence, and her heart leapt to her throat as, with a crash of dust and a flash of green, someone stumbled out from the hearth.

Millie gasped loudly, quickly picking up the first thing she could find- an Obsidian crystal tower with a rather sharp point. She brandished it towards the man that had arrived from her fireplace, but slowly lowered it as the red hair registered him to be Ron’s brother.

“Millie, correct?”

Millie nodded, lowering her Obsidian tower back to where it had been. The man was shorter than Ron, and burly, with a few tattoos peeking out from the sleeves of his black shirt. “Charlie Weasley, here to escort you to the wedding of the century.”

“Erm, alright,” Millie took a moment to center herself, nervously grabbing at the Amethyst crystal that was ever present around her neck. “How will we be..”

She trailed off, and Charlie gave her a warm smile. He reminded her of a giant teddy bear, and she felt her reservations slide away. “We’ll apparate.”

The word and definition came out from the recesses of her mind, a long ago conversation a much more naive Hermione and Millie had shared together while the latter had been drinking in any mention of the Wizarding world she could get.

Millie nodded, and rather awkwardly took Charlie’s arm that he extended towards her. “Hold your breath.”

An uncomfortable pulling began at her navel, and it seemed as though the world began to whip past them in a nearly unbearable speed. She could feel herself get nauseous, and as she felt her stomach twist, it all stopped. She would have fallen to the ground, had it not been for Charlie’s arm around her shoulders.

“Millie!”

Said girl swallowed hard, trying to rid herself of nausea. Hermione was rushing towards her, her wild hair tamed and pinned up in an intricate updo, light makeup on her face, completely out of place with the worn flannel button up and jeans she wore. An utterly Hermione combination, Millie thought with a smile.

“Gotta say, ‘Mione, love the outfit,” Millie teased, swallowing away the last bit of nausea she felt. “You’re missing something blue, and something new, however.”

Hermione tsked good naturedly and drew Millie in for a hug, pulling way to examine her childhood friend with an awestruck look. “Millie, you look so… Beautiful.”

“Oh please,” Millie waved away the compliment, blushing. “It’s just makeup. You, on the other hand… Stunning.”

Hermione beamed brightly, a new glow seeming to emanate from her face. A giggle escaped her lips, and Millie couldn’t help but notice the brunette seemed.. Different. Although, she couldn’t put a finger on it.

“I’m going to go find Luminita,” Charlie told Hermione, his face softening at the mention of whoever that was. He turned to Millie and gave her a hug, much to her surprise. “Nice meeting you, Millie.”

The two girls watched the redhead go off, and Millie turned to Hermione.

“Luminita is Charlie’s wife,” Hermione replied, smiling. “They met while he was training Dragons.”

“Dragons?” Millie questioned, but before Hermione could answer, she was interrupted.

“‘Mione, where’d you go?”

The two brunettes turned to see an utterly gorgeous redhead walk out from the oddly shaped house behind them.

“That’s Ginny, Ron’s sister, and my best friend,” Hermione explained quickly, smiling at Millie, noticing the flinch the other girl had at Hermione’s description of the beautiful girl. “At least, my Hogwarts best friend.”

Millie nodded, shoving her feelings of inadequacies away for a different time, and instead exchanged greetings with the exuberant redhead with a dry sense of humor. As she walked back into the house with the pair, she found it was easy to be in company with Ginny. She didn’t make her feel any less than the two of them, even though Millie knew she would probably be the only muggle there.

The house was suddenly thrown into a flurry of activity, and Millie found herself meeting many of the people she had heard stories of nearly her entire childhood. Arthur and Molly, Harry, Neville, Luna, Bill, and countless others that she hadn't heard of. It appeared that Hermione had delegated Harry to the task of leading her about and introducing her, as Hermione had her wedding to prepare for.

“So, this is the Burrow,” Harry explained a bit lamely, his eyes trailing back on Ginny, who disappeared into another room, presumably to follow Hermione. “We’ve spent a lot of our time here.”

“Yes, Hermione told me about that,” Millie smiled fondly, brushing one of her curls behind her ear. “The Golden Trio. I was always so jealous.”

Harry gave her a soft smile. “I think we may have been a bit jealous of you. Ron especially. You got to know Hermione first, before she became the brightest witch of our age.”

“Well, it’s interesting to know this,” she gestured around wordlessly. “Hermione Jean as well. Overwhelming, of course, but I always was fascinated by magic.”

Harry opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by a voice she hadn't heard yet.

“Oi, Harry, Ron’s going barmy, can you come speak some sense to him?”

Harry looked at her regretfully, turning to the voice. “Course, George. Can you keep Millie company?”

“Ah, ‘Miones friend?” The tall ginger man walked towards them, his eyebrows quivering in interest. “Sure, mate. Just make sure my brother doesn’t bugger off.”

Harry clapped the man on the back, said goodbye to Millie, and hurried off to wherever Ron was.

Millie took that moment to look at the man before her, her eyes widening at how attractive he was. It was rare that a man caught her interest in such an intense way, but George was… different. She felt drawn to him, although she wasn’t quite sure why.

“Millie, right?” George questioned, his warm brown eyes staring at her green ones. His lips turned up in a smile. “I’m George. Ron’s older brother.”

“George…” Millie trailed off, the name pinging her memory. “Fred and George?”

The reaction that name gave George was instantaneous. His smile crumbled, replaced with a firm line. His fists clenched, and a muscle in his forehead twitched. It almost looked like he was going to be sick, and he squeezed his eyes shut.

“I-I’m sorry,” Millie rushed out, wanting to place a hand on his shoulder but unsure if that would be the right response. “Erm, so, you’re Ron’s older brother, yeah? You guys sure seem to have an awful lot of siblings.”

He still had his eyes shut, and showed no sign of relaxing. She tried again, and began rambling in a way that should have embarrassed her, in a way that she only did with Hermione.

“I always wanted siblings growing up,” she watched his face carefully, waiting for him to show some sign of relaxing. “I had Hermione, and she basically was my sister. We basically floated between each other's houses, y’know? But I still had wanted my own sibling, my blood sibling. My mum tried, miscarried a few times. I didn’t mind much, because I had Hermione. But then she left.”

George seemed to be relaxing, and had opened his eyes. They were haunted. He nodded, in a way to urge her to continue.

“She left for Hogwarts, but we still had summers together.” Millie swallowed hard. “Then things got more complicated because of the war stuff you guys had going on. I was always so jealous of her, the magical world she got to be part of… But honestly, with everything she went through, I feel like I may have been lucky, to have been spared all of that hardship. Did you know muggles have their own version of witches and magic?”

The question seemed to have caught George off guard, and he clenched his fists and relaxed slightly, save for a furrow in his brow. “Yeah, card tricks.”

Millie laughed, an edge of relief mixing in. “No, more than that. Some muggles think that with intent and manifestation, certain things can be achieved. There are special stones as well, called crystals, that can help with that. There's different herbs too, which reminds me of Herbology that Hermione told me about. Even Tarot cards, which is like a form of Divination.”

George seemed almost taken aback by the onslaught of info she threw at him, and he blinked slowly. “Am I to assume that you participate in.. that?”

He didn’t say it in a degrading way, but she still felt a bit defensive and cursed herself as she blushed. “I… I do, yes. I’m wearing a crystal right now, it’s a rose quartz.” She pointed out her necklace, holding it out.

George reached out and took the small stone in his large hands, scrutinizing it. “It doesn’t feel much different from any old rock. It’s pretty, I suppose. What is it supposed to do?”

A blush coated Millie’s cheeks once more. “Erm, well. It’s a love stone. It, um. Opens the heart and increases self acceptance, it brings peace.. Helps with transitions, too… It basically helps in all facets of love, intimate or friendship.”

George blinked again, a small smile gracing his lips. “Are you finding it hard to find love, Millie?”

This time it was her turn to be caught off guard, and she took a moment to answer. George let the necklace drop back to her chest, and she didn’t miss the way that his eyes lingered on her chest. A thrill ran down her spine.

“Most people bore me.” She decided it was the easiest explanation, looking up to meet his gaze.

“I’m far from boring.” The words left his lips quickly, his brown eyes not wavering from hers.

She felt it again, that shock of electricity that seemed to emanate from George Weasley. She examined his face, a strong jawline and nose, with wide lips. A smattering of freckles across his face seemed to sharpen his features, disappearing underneath the smartly fitted suit he wore. His shoulders were wide, strong, and he was at least a head and a half taller than her. Even through the suit, she could tell he was muscular. And his hands… They were large and had almost a musical feel to them. She wondered, for a moment, if he played any instruments, muggle or magical.

Unbeknownst to Millie, George was drinking her in the same way she had done to him. It had been a long time since anyone, much less a girl, had peaked his interest. It had been exactly two years, three months, and seventeen days, to be exact.

Millie was short, something that had always been attractive to him. She was deliciously curvy, with wide hips and an ample chest. He had always liked bigger girls, and Millie was… exactly his type. She had long honey hair that brushed past the middle of her back, that fell in wonderfully soft curls he had to resist reaching out to grasp.

Her dark green eyes were framed by long lashes that seemed to sweep her cheeks when she ducked her head in a blush. Her hands were small, and he wanted nothing more than to hold his up against hers to revel in the size difference. Her lips were plump and paired perfectly with her ski slope nose, and carved cheekbones. He wondered what it would feel like to have her neck between his hands… and he had to stop his train of thought there.

“Georgie, good, you’ve met Millie,” Ginny appeared out of nowhere, startling the two out of whatever trance they had been in. “You two are walking together. It’s time to start, let's get going.”

The two looked away from each other suddenly, following the whirlwind that was Ginny Weasley. Each time their hands brushed, it felt electric, and Millie had never, ever, felt this way with anyone before.

They joined the rest of the bridal party, and Millie squinted as she tried to recall everyone that was there. The sun warmed their skin nicely, and they all arranged themselves in line and began their procession into the aisle, where they would eagerly await the appearance of the bride and groom. George held his elbow out for Millie, and she nearly jumped at the feeling she got when her arm as their arms interlinked. From the way George seemed to flinch, she wondered if he had felt it too.

Ginny and Harry led the way, with George and Millie following. Next came Neville and Luna, then Bill and Fleur, Percy and Angelina being the final ones to walk the aisle. Charlie was officiating the wedding.

As the music started up, and Ron was led down the aisle by his father, Millie couldn’t help but wonder who, exactly, would give Hermione away. Her parents were in Australia, forever addled by the memory charm the young witch had been forced to throw upon them. She couldn’t imagine who Hermione picked to replace them.

Hermione wore a beautiful white gown that bore a striking resemblance to the one Millie recalled seeing Cinderella wear. It was a story she and Hermione had been captivated with growing up, and when Hermione and Millie caught eyes, Hermione gave her a wink, and Millie nearly laughed. Of course, Hermione would have gotten Cinderella’s gown for her wedding.

Millie didn’t recognize the person leading Hermione down the aisle, but she was a tall, slender, formidable old woman, who had an undeniable air of authority around her. She had a soft look on her face as she walked Hermione towards Ron, and Millie could have sworn there was a tear in the corner of her eye.

“Thank you, Minerva.” Milie just barely heard the words leave Hermione’s lips.

The woman, Minerva, gave Hermione a swift hug before returning to her seat. The ceremony began, and Millie found herself staring at the people around her. Everyone here… they were Hermione’s chosen family. It nearly took her breath away to finally see them for herself.

Her eyes kept wandering to George, and each time she looked at him, he was already looking at her.

The ceremony ended rather spectacularly, with cheers of joy and hollers breaking out around them. Ron wrapped Hermione up in his arms, kissing her like she was the last woman on Earth. Millie’s heart swelled for her best friend. She had finally gotten her happy ending. Hermione deserved it more than anyone Millie knew.

Magical folk definitely knew how to throw a party. The backyard of the Weasley’s burrow transformed into a reception area complete with a dance floor, music, fireworks, and plenty of drinks and food that Millie hadn’t heard of before. She mingled with the people she had met prior to the ceremony, aside from George. She wasn’t sure where he had gone. It seemed as though after the vows were said and done, he disappeared into the crowd.

After an hour or so, Millie found herself slightly overwhelmed and needed a break. She grabbed a bottle of Butterbeer, that of which Hermione assured her actually contained no alcohol, and she wandered off to the edge of the property. Away from the crowd of people, she leaned against a tree, taking a deep drink from the Butterbeer. It was surprisingly good, and she laughed as she almost felt irritated that Hermione had never shared this with her.

“What do you find so funny?”

Millie nearly jumped, looking up to see George in the tree above her. “Oh my goodness, I had no idea you were there!”

George jumped down, landing rather gracefully for someone of his height. “Seriously, what did you find so funny?”

Millie gestured to her drink. “Just thinking that this is pretty good, and how I’m almost irritated that Hermione never brought this home for me to try. With everything I had to miss out on, it feels like this could have been one thing I got to share with her.”

George laughed, although it appeared to be humorless. “There’s a lot of things I wish I could share with someone who is no longer here.”

Millie cocked her head at George, waiting for him to elaborate. He didn’t seem as though he was going to, until suddenly, he ran a hand down his face and pulled a wand out from his pocket. Flicking his wrist, he conjured up a swing that hung from the tree, reminiscent of the one she had at home. He sat down, and motioned for her to sit with him.

“Just let me get out what I have to get out, and then comment, alright?” George asked, waiting for Millie to nod. She did, and he continued.

“Fred was my twin brother. We did everything together, always have. Towards the return of Voldemort, we opened up our jokeshop. It was super successful, just as we thought. We fought against Voldemort with our family, we fought during the final war, and Freddie… Freddie didn’t make it. It's been two years, three months, and seventeen days without him, but sometimes I wake up and I feel like he’s still there with me, and I’ll rush to go tell him something, but then… he’s not there. And I remember it all over again. When things like this, a wedding, happens, it’s harder. Because Freddie should be here, giving a speech about how we tried to make Ron’s name a taboo, or how we gave him a fear of spiders by turning his teddy bear into one, or how we burned a hole in his tongue with an acid pop, or just… anything embarrassing, because that was our job. And now, without Freddie, it’s pointless. Everything feels pointless.”

Millie waited for George to continue, but it seemed he was done for now. She felt her heart twist for the redhead beside her, and she placed her hand over his.

“I’m so sorry, George,” she said sincerely, watching as George swallowed hard. “I can’t imagine how that feels. I wish that I had the right thing to say, but there really isn’t one. I could go on about how it wasn’t fair and it was senseless, but you already know that. I think all I can say is that you are incredibly strong and although I didn’t know Fred, I’m sure he’s proud of you for making it without him. He’ll be waiting for you, when it’s your time. And then you can tell him about all the havoc you caused without him.”

Again, George swallowed hard, and he turned to Millie with a sudden urgency on his face. He gently placed a hand on her cheek, brushing a curl out of her face. His gentle brush felt like fire on her skin. His eyes flicked from her lips to her eyes, almost like a question.

Millie leaned forward, shutting her eyes, feeling his lips connect with her own. It was like fire, she was almost surprised that there wasn’t a flurry of electricity around the two of them. She hadn’t felt anything like this before in her life, and she reached a hand up to tangle her hands in his wild red hair.

His own large hands roamed around her neck, and down to her sides, his thumb brushing against the side of her breast. She moaned softly in his mouth, surprising even herself. He trailed his hand down further, stopping to rest on her thigh, his fingers gently massaging her skin through her dress.

Their lips parted, and George rested his forehead against hers. Millie felt her head swimming, and took a steadying breath, breathing in the scent of cinnamon that seemed to come from George.

“I think,” George murmured softly, clearing his throat. He pulled away slightly, reaching one hand up to cup her cheek, the other still on her thigh. “I think I may have underestimated you, in a way.”

“How so?” Millie asked, her heart thudding in her throat. What could he mean by that?

“You’re going to be far more important to me than anyone has ever been.”

Before she could respond, George stood, and held a hand out to her. She took it, a bit unsure, and he pulled her up from the swing, keeping her hand in his.

“Care for a dance, beautiful?” He asked, a crooked grin on his face, and Millie broke into a smile as she nodded.

His hand felt so wonderful wrapped around hers.

The two re-entered the party, which had only slightly begun to die down. George and Millie found a place for the two to dance with, and continued conversation.

“So, that thing around your neck is a crystal?” George asked, twirling Millie around in a circle to the fast paced song Millie didn’t recognize.

Millie nodded. “There’s other ones, of course.”

“Like what?” George asked, a smile on his face. “Tell me your favorite.”

“If I had to choose one, it would be Amethyst,” Millie replied thoughtfully, blushing as George rested a hand on her hip. “Although, Smokey Quartz is a close second.”

“What do they do?”

“Well, Amethyst is a calming stone, and it just balances everything out. I usually wear it everyday, unless I feel compelled to wear a different one, which is rare,” Millie supplied. “Smokey Quartz helps get rid of negative energies, and helps with organization. I’m always so disorganized.”

“It’s a good thing I’m a fairly organized person,” George winked at her. “What are your plans for tonight?”

“Nothing beyond going home,” Millie replied sadly, reality seeping into the rather magical night she had had. “I start a new job on Monday.”

“What do you do for work?”

“I just got my teaching credentials, so I’ll be teaching primary come the school year,” Millie smiled, her face softening. “For the summer, I’ll be teaching early childhood.”

“Little kids?” George questioned, smiling when she nodded. “Well, perhaps sometime soon you could come by my jokeshop. In Diagon Alley.”

Millie nearly shouted with excitement. “I could go to Diagon Alley?”

George grinned, nodding. “I think I could arrange that.”

Millie hugged him tightly, not even thinking twice. George didn’t hesitate, he wrapped the shorter girl in his arms, vowing to himself that she would experience magic for the rest of his life.

#george wealsey imagine #george weasley #george wealsey x reader #hermione granger #hermione #granger #weasley #oc #george weasley x oc #harry potter #harrypotter #georgeweasley

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captaincravatthecapricious · 3 years ago

Text

If That’s What it is

A difficult reunion. cw for strained friendships.

Tim doesn’t remember how to be friends.

The was never the one… He could fake it… once. Or maybe he really was like that. Was he ever as friendly as people seemed to think? Was he just filling a roll? Covering for his hurt? Where does the facade end?

It doesn’t help matters that this is Jon. Jon. How can he rebuild bridges long set on fire then torn down then had both sides bricked over and a cemetery developed between the halves.

Sat on opposite ends of the couch in the quiet of a London flat.

The distance of a few handspans may as well be a journey of a thousand steps.

It may as well be made of pages of misdeeds, or the longest novels written stacked end to end and must be read to cross.

Why is he even here?

It was fine when he… what did he even think?

That Jon had gone full monster? That he intentionally ended the world? That he died trying to prevent whatever the fuck that was? That he simply died years before, maybe when Tim supposedly had. He doesn’t know what he thought but he had deniability, for whatever that was worth.

Jon keeps opening his mouth, as if to speak, but shuts it tightly every time.

This isn’t the first attempt. Nor is it the second.

Just… the most awkward, as hard as it was to beat the previous encounters.

Encounter one:

Scene: the grocery store.

Enter Tim, minding his own damn business with his headphones in. Loud enough that he can actually hear it, even if it means just about everyone else in the store can hear it too. Probably should be paying more attention to his surroundings as he runs into someone when he’s trying to buy peanut butter. The someone probably says ‘oof,’ but Tim can’t hear it.

“Sorry, mate.” He offers a bit of an apologetic smile. (Smiling has gotten easier, but… But not as easy as it was.)

He doesn’t plan to meet the eyes of whoever he ran into, but even he can hear the squeak when the someone, Martin, catches sight of him properly.

“TIM?”

Oh shit. It’s Martin. Martin Blackwood. Martin K. Blackwood. Archival assistant. (Does he count as a one night stand if the “one night” was over two weeks on in the nightmarish magical mystery ride of the Distortion’s hallways?) Friend? Abomination apologist. Friend. …Yes, a friend who thinks Tim is very very dead.

Martin’s shopping is on the ground, and without thinking, Tim has helped Martin to the ground and is pushing his head between his knees to stave off what is shaping up to be a panic attack.

Tim hasn’t even paused his music.

It’s still blaring something irritatingly of the wrong mood into his ears.

Once Martin has his breath back, he starts signing furiously.

And Tim has to stand back stunned at the barrage affection and anger and resentment and relief, and off balance that Martin still remembers the sign he learned for Tim.

He leaves without his peanut butter, and with a coil of guilt deep in his gut, with nothing to curb the ringing in his ears because he can’t tolerate music right now, and an address and a number ‘only if he is ready to step on his anger and listen to Jon, for once.’ He hadn’t even gotten a word in. He hadn’t even told him that Sasha was alive.

Just been yelled at in a grocery store.

Encounter two:

Scene: A Living Room, night.

“Jon isn’t here.” Martin tells him this before even letting him in. “He knows you are, but he isn’t here. He’s having dinner with some other teachers in his department. It’s just us.” Martin’s signing this.

Tim is wearing his hearing aids, but Martin is signing anyhow. Maybe it’s easier for him to get it out through that halfway-to-icy expression on his face. Maybe it’s out of coldness, but Tim can’t help but feel a warmth deep in his chest that Martin remembered the BSL he labored over when he was assigned to the archives.

Tim swallows hard around the hope and bitterness and anger and regret and longing. He nods. “Thanks for having me.” He signs quietly.

Martin ushers him in, and hands him a cup of tea. It’s still hot. It’s just how Tim takes it. And he’s sat on a squashy couch, staring at a squashy cat who is glaring at him.

Well. That seems fitting.

Cat glaring. Martin… almost glaring. No, not glaring. He’s got his own tea. And he is sipping it, giving a very chilly look to the poor wall.

Tim takes in the photos on the wall, while avoiding Martin’s eyes. All Polaroids. There’s Jon and Martin in Martin’s ratty looking jumpers (ones that were significantly more new when they first met) standing in the countryside squashed together and laughing their assess off. Jon in oversized wellies, covered in mud, facing off against a cow. Jon standing in the shallows of a pond, looking peacefully into the distance. Martin asleep, in a rustic bedroom, golden morning light spilling across his lax and happy face. There is a frame containing the Litany Against Fear from Dune. A frame with a page from Slaughterhouse Five. …A frame with a picture of a young and unsecured Jon looking grumpy, a young and happy and probably drunk Tim with an arm slung around him, and an arm around Sasha who is giving a blushing Martin bunny ears. That one has a place of honor. It’s a little worn looking, but in a way that makes it clear it survived a lot… the end of the world, in fact.

Seeing it hits Tim square in the chest. It hurts.

Martin finishes his tea and turns towards Tim.

“So.”

Tim puts his nearly cool tea down on the coffee table. The squashy cat keeps glaring at him from an equally squashy arm chair. He faces Martin, but can’t quite meet his eye. Martin is waiting for him to talk.

“Didn’t die. Thought I would. Thought I had. Didn’t. Walked away. Got a job. I… I uh. Found Sasha. Stranger had fucked her up pretty badly, so don’t be mad at her for not calling, she had a lot of trouble remembering and being remembered. Survived the apocalypse. Got on with life, or tried to. Got some therapy.”

He braces himself for the impact. He’s mentioned Sasha over text, but still. Not to mention, it’s all a lot.

Martin’s jaw tightens.

“Thought you could just, let me think you died? Tim, the only person who came back from the Unknowing was Basira. The only one. Call me selfish, but you died, Jon essentially died, we thought Daisy had died. Then my mother died too. I know you had your head up your ass, but do you know what that did to me? Yeah, sure, great, you got out. Whoop-de-fucking-do. You could have called. Or texted. Or sent a letter. Anything! And you know what? Partly it was a relief, because at least I thought you were happy. Or at peace. Or at the very least you wouldn’t be there to harass Jon anymore. But you all died. It was just me. Everyone I cared about was dead. Six month Jon was dead. And no, don’t you dare get on Jon’s case about that. He mourned you. He still is mourning you. He’s been walking on air since you and Sasha… Tim, I swear, if you hurt him… If you hurt him again, you will regret it. You will only see him if you are ready to listen. You don’t have to forgive, but you are not allowed to be cruel.”

Tim doesn’t have a single doubt. “I… I’ve missed him. I’m sorry.”

“No yelling, no grabbing, no sudden movements, nothing passive aggressive. And I will be in the next room and so help me, if you scare him…”

Martin lets the threat hang.

It hurts. It isn’t anything he’s ever gotten from Martin. Didn’t think Martin had enough of a spine for it. …But. But he guesses when everyone dies(? he has a lot of questions, but it doesn’t look like Martin is in the right headspace to answer them, and Tim might not be either. His breathing is uneven and his face is hot and he isn’t sure if he wants to break something or cry or scream or maybe just repaint his and Sasha’s home all in one go.)… Well… he doesn’t have to guess. He knows exactly what that can do to a person. And it isn’t pretty. He feels the guilt coiling again. He wants to tear it out and stomp on it. But… but he guesses, the guilt can guide him. He needs to do right by the people that used to be his friends. The people he’s missed every day since he got his head on straight with extensive therapy and a variety of coping mechanisms.

The scene: The same squashy couch, in the same quiet flat.

The squashy cat is in Jon’s lap. The cat is glaring, and Jon is staring at him with those giant, hopeful, tired, guilty eyes. Haunted and rimmed in shadow, as ever.

He knows Martin is in the next room, ready to step in if he needs to.

All Tim needs to do… is reach out.

#the magnus archives #tma #jonathan sims #tim stoker #timothy stoker #martin blackwood #hoh tim #cw strained friendships #reunions #fic #my words #my fic

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high-functioning-lokipath · 4 years ago

Text

SH - John Watson x Reader - Better Late Than Never - Words: 2,679

A/N: This was the prompt: Reader went to med school with John, she liked him but never told him so. John gets deployed and they lose contact. A few years later they meet again because of a case.

"C'mon, Y/N," John laughed. "If you don't study for the test tomorrow, I won't give you the ice cream I bought!"

"Is it Death By Chocolate?" You replied, raising your head only slightly from it's spot on the floor.

"Maybe," He replied with a smirk. The two of you were in your dorm, trying to study for the quarter finals. You were in your 6th and final year of med school. You'd met about halfway through your 2nd year and had instantly become close friends. Small displays of affection were normal between the two of you, the type that best friends would share without giving a second thought. John didn't have a clue, but you had developed quite the crush on him. You never told him, though, for fear of messing up the one good friendship you had.

"John!" You groaned, dramatically sprawling out further on the carpet. "I think my brain has died." You had been trying to remember everything you'd studied and were coming up blank.

"Hm, I'm studying to be a doctor, not a coroner, but I would say time of death was somewhere between 6 years ago and now," He teased, leaning over you from his nearby perch on your futon. Pretending to be mad, you threw your foot up and kicked his leg.

"You git!" You exclaimed with a grin.

"Oi!" He replied, dramatically tumbling to the floor next to you. You both lost yourselves in a fit of giggles. You stopped laughing and just stared at him when your brain caught up with your eyes and you had one of your "moments". He looked so happy lying there next to you, laughing his head off. His hair was a mess, his jumper had gotten abit twisted and was creeping up his torso, and his eyes were bright with tears of laughter. "You ok, Y/N?" He asked when he noticed you had stopped laughing.

"Yeah, just thinking," You replied quickly.

"Ok, as long as it's nothing serious," He said. "Really, if anything is bothering you, you can talk to me. You've been zoning out more often recently so," He looked away, a bit embarrassed. "I was worried."

"I'm fine, John," You replied, not having the guts to tell him what was really on your mind.

About a year later, only 3 months after graduation, John called you. You still kept in touch, although you lived in different cities now, and your feelings hadn't changed. John had dated a few different girls but nothing ever worked out. You, though? You had gone on one date but left halfway through when the guy wouldn't shut up about himself and asked if you were splitting the check. John had told you he had applied at a small clinic near his apartment so you assumed his call was to update you on that. "Hey!" You said, picking up immediately.

"Uh, hey, Y/N," He said, sounding fairly upset. "Look, I," He sighed. "You remember that I enlisted a few months ago?"

"Yes," You replied, a lump forming in your throat.

"I've just gotten my deployment letter. They're sending me to Afghanistan. I leave this Friday." Silent tears streamed down your face and you found yourself unable to reply. "Y/N? Are you still there?" He asked.

"Yeah," You choked out. "Yeah, I'm still here, John. I, well, I guess I should wish you well then." You pinched the bridge of your nose and breathed deeply, trying to get ahold of yourself.

"Look, I know you're not a fan of the military but can't you at least congratulate me? This is something I wanted after all."

"Is it? Is it really?" You nearly yelled. "You didn't sound all that cheery two minutes ago when I picked up the phone! Besides, how could I congratulate you when all I can see is you getting blown to bits out there!"

"Sorry," He replied immediately. "That, that wasn't fair of me to ask." You both were silent for a moment before John spoke up again. "I'll write."

"Not with that handwriting you won't, " You replied, falling back into your regular banter.

"I'll try to make it legible for you," He promised. You nodded, though he couldn't see you, and started crying again.

"Alright," You said. "Can I drive over Friday and see you off?"

"Best not," He said. "I think it's better for both of us, yeah?" You reluctantly agreed. The two of you chatted for a few more minutes before saying goodbye. Shaking off the foreboding feeling that had settled on you, you continued with your day and started planning your first letter to him.

The first few weeks went well, his letters arriving regularly on Friday's without fail. Then one week it came on Monday instead, the next on Wednesday, and soon two weeks passed without a letter. When you finally received it, he said that they had gotten to a point where it was getting harder and harder to safely send a receive mail. He asked for you to stop all letters and promised to find you again when, or if, he got home. That night you wrote him one final letter but, of course, never sent it. You were determined to move on with life now but you promised yourself to never forget him.

"Good morning, Molly," You said walking into the hospital with her. You'd moved to London and gotten a job at St. Bart's, working in the outpatient clinic. A few weeks after starting there, you'd met Molly while on break. You exchanged numbers and started meeting in the cafeteria if you both had breaks at the same time. In time you met Sherlock. What an experience that had been. He immediately deduced which department you worked in, how long you'd been there, where you went to college, when you went to college and he even figured out that you'd been in love with someone in uni and never got over them. Needless to say, you were impressed. Ever since then he texted you occasionally for confirmation on medical related hypotheses.

"Good morning, Y/N," Molly replied.

"Have you heard from Sherlock recently? I haven't gotten any texts from him in the past few weeks." Molly chuckled and nodded.

"I've heard from him. He has a new flatmate. A doctor too!"

"Wow!" You replied. "Good for him! Let me know next time he comes by so I can meet him. I'd like to know who my replacement is," You teased. Molly giggled and you continued chatting as you walked over to the elevator. As the doors were about to close, you heard someone yell.

"Hold the lift!" You slammed the open doors button and Sherlock ran in. He nodded at you and you let go of the button. The doors started to slide closed again when another person called out.

"Sherlock!" You froze hearing that voice. You tried to get the doors in time but missed.

"Y/N?" Molly asked, worriedly. "Are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost!" You nodded and leaned on the wall, trying to get yourself together. You decided to ride up to Molly's floor and see if Sherlock's friend came up on the next lift. Sherlock kept staring at you, confused, while you sat there waiting. A few minutes later, he came storming in the door.

"Sherlock! What were you thinking? Why didn't you hold the lift for me? I had to wait for the next one which happened to-"

"John," You gasped, amazed that it actually was him standing in front of you. "John!" You exclaimed, jumping up and running over.

"Y/N!" He replied, a grin spreading on his face. His smile faltered quickly though. "I," He said. "I need to be going. I forgot I had an appointment. Yeah. That's it. I'll see you at the flat, Sherlock." John quickly limped out the door and off to the elevator.

"He's the one, isn't he?" Sherlock said after a few moments. You nodded sadly.

"Why'd he run off like that?" You asked.

"Well it's obvious he didn't have an appointment. That leaves two possible reasons for his lying. One he could be-"

"Oh shut up, Sherlock!" You cried. "I know why he left. I-" You cut yourself off, choking back a sob. "Just sod it all! I need to go to work. I'll see you at lunch, Molly." You ran off, down the hall and to the elevator.

"Molly, I know that look in your eyes," Sherlock said once you'd left. "What are you planning?"

"The perfect set up. Now help me-"

"Molly," Sherlock interrupted her. "I may not understand a lot of things related to the topic of human relationships but I can tell you this, if either of us were to get involved, we may be maimed." Molly nodded in agreement.

Weeks went by and you worked harder than ever, taking extra shifts whenever you could. Your boss finally told you to take a week off to recharge. After much arguing, you relented and headed home for a week. Being alone all day, however, left your mind wandering. Thinking back to what might have been. To occupy your time, you decided to catch up with one of your good friends who lived nearby. You hadn't had the chance to hang out in some weeks but you texted each other every day. When you didn't hear from her yesterday, you worried but figured she probably was just tired. "Maybe she'll have some good advice for me," You told yourself. Knocking at her door, you checked your phone again to see if she had replied yet. Now you were really worried. You grabbed your spare key to her apartment and went in.

"What do you want?" Sherlock said, answering his phone.

"Sherlock, it-it's Y/N. Can you," You paused, taking a shaky breath. "Can you come down here please? I need your help. Lestrade's already on his way."

"On my way," He replied, grabbing his coat and scarf. "What happened?" As you explained to him everything, he grabbed John's coat and tossed it to him. John was mildly confused of course, but went along.

"I went in and found her in the bathroom," You told him. "I'm probably missing something obvious. I'm sorry," You cried.

"No, you're doing fine," Sherlock said genuinely. John looked at him surprised as they got into the cab, still not aware of who was on the other end of the call. "We'll be there in 7 minutes."

"We?" You asked. But Sherlock hung up before he answered.

"Y/N?" Greg said, coming up behind you. "I hate to say this but, we're going to need a statement. Do you want to wait till Sherlock gets here?"

"No, it's alright. Let's get it over with." A few minutes later, you'd told Greg everything you knew and he'd gone inside with the others to investigate. A cab pulled up and Sherlock rushed out. "Sherlock!" You exclaimed running up to him. As you approached, you saw another person getting out of the cab. "Why did you bring him?" You hissed.

"He's my assistant, flatmate and, if I have deduced correctly, a friend of both of us," Sherlock said.

"Look, that was years ago, I don't even know if-" You started whisper-yelling. You got cut off though when John walked up. You noticed he was limping again.

"John," Sherlock said. "I believe you're acquainted with Y/N. You're much better with people than I am," He stated briefly before going into the apartment.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry," John said once Sherlock left. You nodded, sitting down on a nearby bench before your legs gave way from exhaustion.

"She was a good friend of mine. I don't know what could have happened." John was quiet as he sat down next to you.

"Sherlock will figure it out. If anyone can, it's him," He finally said.

"That is for certain," You replied with a dry chuckle. "So how did you meet Sherlock?"

"Oh, well, you remember Mike Stamford?"

"From uni? Yeah, I remember him."

"Well, he introduced me to Sherlock. We were both in need of a flatmate and he matched us up." John paused for a moment, brows furrowed. "That sounds much too much like a bad dating ad. Mike got us together."

"Nope, that's worse," You replied chuckling.

"You understand."

"I think so," You finally replied. "So," You paused. You were so desperate to ask him more but you weren't sure if this was the best time. "Oh, well, nevermind. Glad that worked out." You quieted again, staring off down the street. John looked at you for a moment before clearing his throat.

"Right, yes. So, what have you been up to?"

"Work. I got a job at St. Bart's about 2 years ago. That's how I met Molly and therefore Sherlock." You were silent for a moment before adding one more thing. "I've missed you, John."

"I've missed you too," He admitted. "I'm sorry I didn't write or call when I got back. I-" He sighed and absently rubbed at his leg. "I couldn't. I was scared, if I'm being honest."

"Why? What happened?"

"You know we got sent into a very dangerous area. That's why I had to stop writing to begin with. But then, well, I got shot."

"Your leg?" You asked since he had been limping and rubbing at it.

"Ah, shoulder actually. The limp is psychosomatic. It comes and goes when I'm particularly worried or upset."

"Oh, I'm sorry," You said, not completely sure of what to say.

"I've been back in London for about a year. I looked you up actually. I found out you were working at Bart's. That's why I ran into Mike that day. I was in a park nearby, trying to work up the nerve to go and see you."

"Why didn't you?" You asked. He looked away, embarrassed. "Sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No, it's ok. I should be honest." He ran a hand through his hair and chuckled nervously. "I was afraid of what you'd think of me. I didn't come back as some 'war hero'. I'm a washed up medic who can't even walk correctly."

"It's psychosomatic, right?" You asked, tilting your head slightly.

"Sherlock says so."

Well then, you have nothing to fear." He looked at you questioningly. "You know I never cared about the military so I could honestly care less if you came back known as some 'war hero' or not. You're not washed up, just look at you! Out here solving mysteries with the world's only Consulting Detective, Sherlock Holmes! And you can too walk right! You're just too scared to."

"I'm not so sure-" You interrupted him by leaning over and planting a kiss on his lips. Pulling away with a giggle you got up and ran a few feet away.

"You'll have to come here to get another!"

"Oh, you devil," He grinned. He got up and walked over to you quickly, picking you up, spinning you around and giving you another kiss. You laughed happily and leaned on his shoulder.

"See? You did just fine!"

"I suppose I did, didn't I?" He chuckled.

"Oh, John," You giggled. "I should have told you a long time ago. I love you, John Watson." He smiled from ear to ear.

"I love you too, Y/N L/N. But a crime scene isn't really the best place to do this at."

"Why not? We giggle at murders all the time?" Sherlock suddenly butted in.

"How long have you been standing there?" John yelled.

"Well," Greg suddenly said, a few feet away and holding up his phone. "This video is already 4 minutes long, so," He trailed off.

"John," You said, not taking your eyes off the two other men.

"Yes, love?" He asked as you reached for his hand.

"Let's get 'em." You then spent the rest of the afternoon chasing Sherlock and Greg around the neighborhood, enjoying their girly shrieks, until Mycroft showed up and put a stop to it. Later that evening, you and John were enjoying some Chinese takeaway back at your apartment.

"I really can't apologize enough for leaving you in the dark, Y/N," John said. "I should have written," He chided himself.

"It's alright, John," You assured him. "Actually, you just reminded me of something. Wait here a moment." You ran off to your room and pulled an envelope out of a small box in your desk. You returned to the living room and held it out to John. "This is for you. It was my last letter but," You paused, blushing lightly. "I never mailed it."

My Dear Captain Watson,

I hope you're doing well. I hope you're staying safe and helping as many as you can. I hope -

Oh what am I writing. John, there's something you should know and I wish I could tell you in person but better now than never I suppose.

I love you.

There. Feel free to never write me back again or return this with a 'Dear John' letter. Well, you know what I mean. I wish I could have said it better or sooner but I was scared to lose your friendship. Now I'm more scared of actually losing you.

John, please return safely. Even if we never speak again. The world should not be without John Watson.

All my love,

Y/N

"Y/N," John said, tears in his eyes after reading your letter. "Why didn't you send it?"

"Well, you had asked me not to write anymore since it was dangerous and," You paused, shaking your head sadly. "I chickened out again."

"Well, I guess what they say is true then." You looked at him quizzically as he pulled you close to him and leaned his forehead on yours. "Better late than never."

Sherlock BBC Taglist

@lucywrites02

@delightfulheartdream

@bartv21

@another-crazy-fangirl

@ladylulu143

@gaitwae

#sherlock bbc #sherlock #john watson x reader #john watson #sherlock imagine #sherlock fanfic

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imagintheworldaway · 4 years ago

Text

Used Pt 2

Anonymous said: Hello i loved your post “used” with Harry and i just wanted to know if you are planning a part 2 in the future?!?

Anonymous said: Loved your most recent imagine of Harry! Can you plzzzzz make a part 2 of used, where she’s a bad B and becomes even more successful and she’s better off without him? Thank you!

A/N I loved that you guys loved the first one! I went through a few different ideas / endings for this one and I think I'm happy with the outcome! warning it is a long one so strap in!

Used Pt 1 can be found here

Requests are open!

That night at Harrys apartment felt like a life time ago. The breakup wasn’t messy as neither of us addressed it really, I archived all of my posts of him and he had done the same for me and that was about it. It didn’t take the fans to catch on but what can you expect, they know more about me than I do. it had been almost 6 months to the date, not that I was counting or anything but I honestly felt like Harry was my soulmate at the time. Oh how love can blind you.

The past few months I had submerged myself into my channel and my fans. I had done an array of meet and greets and was interacting more with them, and honestly my love for YouTube was restored and I felt like a whole new person. I had had a full make over and due to this my channel had grown immensely and I had hit 50 million subscribers, a huge achievement which I never though would happen. it was amazing to see the amount of support I was gaining from my fans and how much I had grown, from a naive teenager to a young adult. I had received an overwhelming amount of support from my friends. When Harry and I broke up they tried not to take sides but It was evident that that couldn’t last forever and I was ok with that.

I had just finished a meeting with my manager at her office. With my new look and attitude brands seemed to swarm at me and I was gaining so many new opportunities it was kind of crazy. It was like I was a completely different person and it seemed to be working in furthering my career. I got in my Uber and made my way to my new apartment, after the break up I felt like starting a new was best and so I moved into my new multi million apartment in knightsbridge. It was nice to be in an area by myself as it meant that I had more privacy and was able to truly live my best single life. Plus a tour of new apartment left many of my friends in awe, and honestly I loved that I could show off all my hard work.

I thanked my Uber driver and made my way to my apartment, once inside I collapsed on my sofa and kicked off my heels, which I was still getting used to in all honesty. Having changed from living in baggy jumpers and old trainers was a bit of a shock but I loved wearing my more out there wardrobe, with tighter clothes and higher heels, my makeup always done to perfection, I always felt like people had their eye on me and I felt amazing. My change in personality and look hadn’t gone unnoticed either, although they didn’t say anything I could tell my friends liked my new attitude, after wallowing in self pity for a few months I think they’re happy that I’m back and stronger than what I was before.

I still thought about Harry from time to time. How I not so secretly still had one of his jumpers and when I was alone id wear it, just to feel his embrace once more. When we had initially broken up it took him less than two days to send Freezy round my apartment to drop off my box of things and to request his stuff back. I know Freezy felt bad but what choice did he have if Harry wanted to erase me from his life then so be it. More fool him, I had grown so much and if he was truly clout chasing then he should’ve stuck around a little longer.

I woke up to my doorbell ringing. I must’ve fallen asleep on the sofa. I stretched a little when the doorbell kept ringing. “Jeez I’m coming” I mumbled to myself. I pressed the array of buttons for who ever it was to get through the front gate and after a few minutes I opened the door to reveal Talia. “Have you been sleeping?” She giggled at me as she walked into my apartment, propping herself up on one of my breakfast stools. “Hmm, oh yh, busy day” I laughed closing the door and standing the other side of the breakfast bar looking up at her.

“Soooooo” I edged her to start talking. “Oh right sorry, your release party, Simon was pestering me to ask you if a certain arsehole could come?” She said the last part in a sheepish tone. Fuck, my release party I completely forgot, I had had so much on my plate that I forgot I was opening a club and releasing my own line of spirits. I stood up looking at Talia with a confused look “why the hell would I invite my ex to my release party?”. I reached up and grabbed two wine glasses pouring us each a glass of rosé. Passing over a glass to Talia as she pondered her reply. “Honestly I said the same but apparently all the lads feel bad as everyone we know is invited except for him” she swirled her glass of wine and took a sip as I copied her mentioned. In all fairness it was rude that I invited everyone but him, plus it was going to be the event to beat, and I had a few spaces on the guest list. “T, I don’t know” I shrugged at her sighing. “If I was you id tell him to stick it where-“ Talia started before I cut her off “I know, I know, it does seem a little harsh, I have invited so many people and, well, you know what fuck it, I’ll get my manager to add him to the list if you let him know” I decided. Talia looked gobsmacked, I had never seen her this speechless in our lives. “Are you sure, he’s a dick like you really don’t have to” she said cocking an eyebrow at me. “Look its not fair, plus there’s going to be hundreds of people there and the likelihood of us actually interacting are practically 0” I stated. Which was true, there was going to be just about the whole British YouTube community there, as well as some celebrities and journalists, and I would have my team around me at all times so the chance of him even getting near me is slim.

That night Talia and I had gotten wasted, watching movies and just have a nice little girly night. However, right now I was shaking in my heels. My hair and makeup had been done to perfection and I was in a body hugging dress which showed off all of my curves perfectly. I looked almost like a model that’s how good I looked. I of Course was going to be the last to arrive at the venue, I needed everyone to be chatting with flutes of complimentary champagne when I entered so all attention was on me, as conceited as this sounds my publicists and manager had worked months for this to run as perfect as possible. I arrived at the venue and I could hear the music from outside “you ready?” My manager, Lucy asked. I nodded my head and made my way through the back entrance. I stood behind the stage door with a mic in one hand and a bottle of my own vodka in another. “Deep breaths, you’ll smash it” Lucy smiled at me, I just nodded and plastered on a smile, I heard the music die down a little and the door opened and I made my way on stage. An eruption of applause and cheering began from my friends and guests. I smiled taking it all in for a moment before I raised the mic to my mouth.

“Thank you all so much for being here today and supporting me in my new business venture. If you would have told me a year ago that this is where I would be I would have laughed. These past few months I’ve grown more than I ever have, my channel, my business and more importantly myself. I can’t thank you all enough for the continuous love and support, without you guys or my fans I wouldn’t be where I am today. So id like you to all enjoy a complimentary glass of my new Vodka and enjoy yourselves. Because tonight is about friends and loved ones. So let’s get wasted!!!” I recited my speech cheering at the end. I got a mass amount of applause and cheers and I smiled looking over the crowd. I could see all my friends together happy, the way it should be and I smiled until I saw him, he actually came. My smile faltered slightly and my breath hitched in my throat. I quickly shook it off and made my way to the stairs, exiting the stage. I was quickly engulfed in a mass of hugs and bodies, people I knew and some I didn’t all congratulating me.

I had done it I had made it and all on my own.

After about half an hour I made it over to my closest group of friends. They all cheered when I went over and I did a mock curtsey, careful not to reveal too much. I got handed a glass of something and started polite conversation. “We’re all so proud of you” Gee gushed “you’ve done so well I can’t believe that you are basically the most sought after name at the moment” freya added. “ I couldn’t have done it without you guys” I smiled. “Oh shut up little miss humble” Ethan who had clearly had a bit much to drink already. “You’re the queen of UK YouTube, you have your own empire going and you built it all yourself” he grinned at me before smothering me in a hug. “You need to be in more of our vids then maybe we’d be doing just as well as you” Simon commented earning a laugh from the group. “Here’s to Y/N the baddest bitch I know” Talia toasted and everyone joined in. I smiled as we fell into polite chatter. “I’m just nipping outside” I informed my friends smiling at them before making my way to the balcony. I leant over the edge and smiled, nothing could ruin my life right now. I thought to myself. That was until I heard footsteps approach me from behind and the body heat of someone I could recognise in an instant next to me. “Before you say anything I’m here to congratulate you” Harry said. I kept my gaze forward, not wanted tears that I didn’t know still existed for him to spill. “I’m so proud of you, honestly I am, so are my family, they miss you, I miss you” I turned my body and met Harrys gaze. I studied his face, he had bags under his eyes and the usual scruff on his beard was longer than he usually kept it, his hair was also scruffy, not scruffy like usual but tangled and unkept. He was wearing smart trousers and a nice button up shirt, no blazer, Harry hated formal clothes. “Thank you” was all I was able to say as I smiled at him. “You know, with every day that goes by someone reminds me how I fucked up and should have kept a death grip on you, that you were the best part of me and now I’m just some boring kid who plays Fifa” I half chuckled at the end. I felt sorry for him, it seemed that I had grown and succeeded and that Harry had stayed stagnant in his life. “Harry, I, I don’t know what you want me to say” I looked at him with sorry eyes, I think maybe I still loved him, but I had been doing so well without him I just I didn’t know whether I wanted to kiss him or kill him. “No I, I get that, I was a dick. I was in a rut and I took it out on you. And well honestly seeing you do so well without me just shows how I was holding you back. I’m proud of you, I’m happy for you, honestly I am bear, sorry Y/N” we had made eye contact at this point. So many memories came flooding back to me. Our first kiss, our first date, the nights we spent talking about what we wanted to name our children, and how we wanted to have a house in Guernsey and one in London. How we were going to grow old together and never let the other go.

I broke my gaze when I heard Lucy call my name. I took a deep breath. “I loved you harry, with all my heart, with all my being and I was willing to stay and love you no matter what. I think I still do love you. But right now I need to focus on me, my empire has only just started and I don’t want us to back peddle. The only way for me is forward no mater if you’re there with me or not.” I spilled my heart out to Harry before I heard Lucy call me name again. “Sorry” was all I could say before I headed back inside. I wiped a stray tear from my eye and took one last look at harry, I had left him so broken. But now was time to put me first Y/N is number one in my life and as much as I wanted to fall back into my old self I couldn’t. I had made promises and shown that after heartbreak you can build and make yourself stronger than before. And I was not about to throw it all away.

#sidemen #Harry Lewis x reader #Harry Lewis one shot #Harry Lewis imagine #wroetoshaw #harry lewis #w2s

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smallmediumproblems · 5 years ago

Text

My Soul to Keep

“You know you shouldn’t stay,” said Jon. Callum Brody slouched resolutely before him in the middle of Night Street. His arms were wrapped around his middle, and his face was dominated by a truly world-class pout. Jon knelt down in spite of his protesting knees. “The Dark will have to chase something. As soon as we leave, you’re all it has left.”

“Don’t think so,” said Callum. His eyes fixed on a nearby stub of grass that had grown all the way up through the concrete only to wither in the darkness. “You’ve been out there, yeah? Past the end of the street? There’s still people, right? I can use them.”

“There are,” said Jon. “Some might even consider it a welcome distraction.”

“Long as it’s not me, that’s fine,” Callum shrugged. “Maybe fun, even. This place was getting boring.”

Jon studied him for a long moment. He’d expected him to be angry when they started their work. He had been fully prepared to fend off a supernatural tantrum. Instead, Callum had gone immediately to sulking. Jon could Know why, of course, if he really wanted to.

But it never hurt to ask, first.

“Do you think you’ll be alright?”

Callum finally met his gaze. He finally looked upset, and frightened and hurt, and all of the other things that he’d managed not to be in front of the other children. “Are you stupid? No. Nothing’s alright. Not anymore.”

“I know that,” Jon said softly. “I just… You shouldn’t have to do this alone. If there’s any way we can help, I-”

“Get out.”

Jon made no move to get up.

“I said get out, we’re done here,” Callum repeated, louder, as if perhaps Jon hadn’t heard. “I’m not coming with you. You want to help, let me have this. It’s all I’ve got.”

“Alright.” Jon stood slowly. “Alright. I wish I could promise that we were coming back,” he said.

Callum’s expression softened. It occurred to Jon that he probably hadn’t considered his unlikely guests being in danger; either because he didn’t care, or because he tried not to think of the world outside of his domain.

“Thanks,” said Callum. To Jon’s surprise, it sounded like he meant it. “Um. Don’t die, I guess. Or, whatever happens to people now.”

Jon laughed slightly. “You too. I guess.”

They both turned on their heels and paced back to their respective parties. Callum went into the darkness, unflinching at the hungry shadows that followed him. Jon retreated into the light.

“Did he change his mind?” asked Martin. He took a second to shift the weight of the bodies in his arms. Marnie had gone sleepily boneless in the soft expanse of his jumper, but Gavin still clung to his shoulder like an especially squirmy bandolier.

“No,” said Jon. He glanced down in surprise as little Jeremy took his hand, but didn’t pull away. “No, this… It’s best for all of them, him included. He understood that.”

“D’you think he wanted to come?” Martin asked.

“I don’t know,” said Jon, “I don’t think he would have admitted it. I certainly wasn’t about to make him tell me.”

Martin nodded, running a hand over Gavin’s back idly. “Kay. So, what now?”

“Now, we go back,” said Jon, loud enough so that some of the crowd around them could hear. “Back to the Lonely. I can get us there faster, now that we’ve already been. If that makes sense?”

“Nope!” Martin said brightly. “Never does. I’m dead certain you’re just making this stuff up half the time. But if it works, does it reeeeally matter?”

“I suppose not,” said Jon.

“What’s the Lonely?” asked a small voice from his side. He looked down to see Katya keeping pace with Jeremy, still eyeing Jon suspiciously. She wasn’t in the business of trusting strange adults.

“It’s like a big, awful haunted house,” Martin explained. “But instead of fun and cool, it’s sad and the worst. There’s still fog, though, so it’s got that in common.”

“Is my mum there?” asked Kayla.

“Yes,” Jon assured her, “In fact, I think… both of them, yes. That’s why we’re going. There are a lot of mums there, and I expect they’re missing you very badly right now.”

The first thing they’d learned about Night Street was that none of the parents were real. Their fear was far too valuable to let them waste away here until their children were of age. Instead, the houses were populated with crude fabrications, stitched together from flickering television light and the muffled vibrations of shouting behind closed doors. They just needed to be hostile and sharp enough to drive “their” children away, into the arms of the Dark. Nothing more complicated or less horrible than that.

Accordingly, that was the first thing they’d explained to Michelle when they finally caught her. She was not easy to catch. She was faster than should have been possible, and ran from what she thought were two new spectors sent to torment her. Her downfall was that she preferred to hide. Not even the Dark could keep her from the Archivist’s sight. Unlike the shadows that prowled her house, Jon and Martin had every intention of actually catching her, not just letting her run and find a new place to simmer in her fear. When she darted to avoid Martin, she was caught up in the tangle of Jon’s arms, and the constant, quiet stream of words that spilled from him the moment he held her.

It’s alright. This is safe. They won’t get you. They can’t hurt you with me here.

Michelle screamed and cried and begged to be let go, but with each word, she knew more closely that he wasn’t lying.

It’s okay. You don’t have to be scared. We won’t hurt you, and neither will anything else, I won’t let them.

Michelle cried more softly, and pleaded for him not to leave.

I’m right here. You’re alright.

We’re not leaving without you.

Michelle knew that they wouldn’t.

She asked if they could help wake her father. Every now and then, she was able to dart across the house into his bedroom while the monsters weren’t looking, but he never gave her more than a mumble of annoyance for her efforts. Jon told her that no, that wasn’t her father at all- he could even show her the empty bed, the supposed bulge under the covers just a trick of the light, the muttering a creak of the floorboards. Her father was somewhere else entirely. (Jon had to look first, because he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to tell her what he found). He was in the Lonely. He was there because he was looking for her.

This discovery brought a new layer into their plan. In some ways, it actually made things simpler. The proof of concept was the important bit - if they could rescue one child, it was theoretically possible for them to rescue the rest, that was just maths and a matter of time, so very much time - but they had always gotten stuck on what to do with them. They couldn't take them all the way to the tower. The other Fear domains were arguably much more dangerous. Jon could keep a watchful eye on them all, but protecting them was another matter. Using the children to rescue their parents didn’t just free more people. It would provide shepherds who were uniquely willing and able to care for their newly acquired flock. Some children had parents in other domains. Some didn’t have parents left to find at all. But the overwhelming majority were in the Lonely, and it was such a number that all of them combined could hang on to the lost children until a more permanent solution was found.

So they told Michelle that they would get her to her parents.

Then, they told Sam.

And Chris.

And Briana.

And they did not stop until there was no one left to tell.

“I miss my mum,” said Ron, who was trailing close behind Martin. He yawned over an envious look up at Marnie. “When can I have a turn?”

“Ten minutes,” Martin said sternly, “That’s what we negotiated. Except that time doesn’t work, so, um, whenever Mr. Sims says so.”

“Excu- don’t bring me into this,” said Jon. “I will not be made into a hug trafficker.”

“I thought you were Mr. Sims,” Ron said faintly to Martin. Martin went very red, and Jon arched an eyebrow.

“Is that so?” asked Jon.

“Hmm,” Martin made an interested noise, like Ron had just shared a new and exciting fact about an obscure topic. What he did not do was offer any correction to Ron’s statement. Jon raised the other eyebrow to match.

“I wonder where you got that idea?” Jon pressed.

“Julia said that Mark said that you two kissed,” said Ron.

“Gross,” Jeremy commented. “Kisses are gross.”

“It wasn’t a gross kiss, it was nice,” Ron argued. “Like on the cheek, and then the other person smiles a lot.”

“All kisses are gross,” Jeremy repeated adamantly.

“Here, I’ll show you-”

“Ah-ah-ah, absolutely no kissing without permission,” Martin yelped. “Here. Jon?”

“I mean, as long as it’s not gross,” said Jon, struggling very hard to keep a straight face. Martin rolled his eyes.

He kissed Jon on the cheek.

Jon smiled quite a lot.

#the magnus archives #tma spoilers #tma 173 #tma s5 #fanfiction #fix-it FIC #geeeeeeet yer fix-it fic #how are we lads because I am sad after this last episode #smallsays

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melancholyblues0 · 4 years ago

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𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊

𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑒𝑒 : 𝒽𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝒶𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑒

brian may x reader series

warnings : swearing, that’s it rlly tbhh

a/n : so i was planning on posting last week but i got completely caught up in my new job lol so im only just posting now !! so sorry about the wait. ive already started the next chapter, and i was planning on spice but we’re going for a plot twist instead 🤨 the smut is definitely coming i promisee, im tryna build up the courage bc smut isnt my strong suit but im practising (that sounded a bit odd but you get what i meann). so. voilá :)

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

y/n groaned, rubbing her head as she sat up in bed. her pager lit up beside her, grabbing her attention. she scrambled over to read the notification she'd been sent - from brian. she immedietly smiled as she swiped the hair from her eyes, as she reached for her phone to ring him.

"y/n ! hi - i need to ask you a favour. anita is going away for the weekend with the women, and i'm supposed to be at the studio with the guys. it would be absolutely amazing if you would be able to babysit the girls tonight for me ? jimmy is completely unreliable and i can't leave them by themselves."

you'd completely forgotten about the 'women's trip". you'd managed to uninvite yourself, claiming you had homework due in. this would be the perfect opportunity to spend some more time with brian. granted, he would be out tonight, but you had all of saturday, and if you were lucky, at least until sunday evening with him. you quickly checked the time - it was almost eleven am, meaning the ladies had most definitely already left for the holiday home down south.

"hey, of course i'm free tonight. you're lucky i'd spun a lie to get out of that godforesaken trip." you laughed, hearing him chuckle also down the line. "i must be a very lucky man. the girls are already at school, and i'm at the studio just now. i've left a key in the flower basket near the door, just let yourself in at any time. i should have enough time to pick them up later, but i won't be able to stop for long. they really want this bloody album finished soon." he sighed. y/n chuckled, before letting him know she'd head over soon. "will you be back tonight ?" you asked, hoping he would. "yes, definitely late. you're more than welcome to crash at mine. i know you're only over the road, but i worry about the girls." he replied scratching his forehead as he leant against the doorway. you smiled; it was nice to see that he genuinely cared for his daughters' safety, unlike your father. "of course. just let me know when you're way and such." you replied, beginning to get out of bed. you both said your goodbyes, and hung up.

- - -

after slipping on a pair of shorts and a jumper far too large for you, you packed a small overnight bag and wrote a note for xavier, telling him where everything was. knowing your father, he wasn't exactly reliable, and whether he would actually come home was a mystery. you and xavier had bets on who he was cheating on your mother with - his secretary, or florence. you personally were betting on florence. you'd seen the looks they gave each other at gatherings, and how the so often ended up being absent at the same time. you didn't really care, but you also didn't blame him if he was. your mother was an absolute nightmare, and an absolute bitch to everyone (to put it lightly). you walked over to brian's place, and opened the door after finding the key amongst the dirt, and stepped inside. it was almost exactly the same as yours, but seemed bigger almost. it could've been the open planned ground floor, though. you set your bag next to the sofa, and sat down, and making yourself comfortable. you glanced over at the array of women's magazines sprawled on the coffee table - obviously anita's doing. there was something about her entitlement that annoyed you. the little side glances and once overs she'd give you when you went within a five mile radius of her husband. that day at the country club seemed like almost a trick, a game. after he'd defended you from mark. he wouldn't have done the same for her; not for the past five years anyway. they'd drifted long before you'd been in the picture, if you were even in the picture in the first place. to most, you were just the innocent but rebellious neighbour, simply doing a favour for brian. but to anita, you were a home wrecking, conniving little bitch who needed putting in her place. you were just a naive little girl to her, trying to take something that wasn't yours, not even to look at. you'd gotten bored quite quickly thinking about anita, and what she so clearly thought of you. you got up to look around the house; the kitchen, the girls' rooms, the toilets, and brian's room. you smiled as you saw a small section of the wall covered in polaroids. you looked closer, and realised it was every city he'd visited while on tour, all the way back to their first ever tour. you smiled - he looked so happy, and so young. he wouldn't have been much older than you in some of the pictures from the early 70's.

you left the room quickly, not wanting to seem weird if he turned up with the girls and found you looking around his bedroom. it was almost four, and realised that the girls would be back any minute. you heard the door open, and louise and emily walked in, brian not far behind them. "dad, i don't need a baysitter. i'm fifteen-"

"only just, lou. it's just one night. just think of it as extra company."he laughed, before catching your eye. "nice to see you, y/n," he smiled, before walking over to the kitchen. "and yourself. how's recording going ?" you asked, although by the look of brian's face, it wasn't going well. "don't ask. freddie and roger both have a stick up their arses today, and keep biting each other's heads off. we're no where nearer to finishing the album than we were two weeks ago," he groaned, setting the glass of water on the table before sitting next to you. "sounds rough. i'm here all night, so take as long as you want. you're more than welcome to go for a cheeky pint before you come home, if you want."you smiled, nudging his shoulder. he shook his head, laughing good heartedly. he explained the girls' usual routines, and also added that louise would be fine, she's just being a 'teenager' as he'd put it. you'd gotten on well with lou at the party last week - you were sure she'd be fine. "i'll try and get home when i can, but i'll give you a ring when i'm on my way." he smiled, kissing your temple. you blushed furiously, smiling to hide your panic. he headed out, leaving you with the girls. you thought of calling your mother - you never did, but she usually had some good gossip on these trips. you had a good half hour before the girls would be back downstairs, so you dialled her number and waited for her to answer.

#brian may #brian may x reader #brian may smut #brian may x y/n #queen band

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puckinghell · 4 years ago

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Why (Won’t You Love Me) | Elias Pettersson

Summary: Time and time again, Elias watches you get your heart broken by guys who aren’t worth your effort, and he just can’t help but wonder why you can’t love him instead. Words: 3,5k Note: Based on the 5sos song with the same name.

There’s a glow on the pavement, fresh from the rain. Dark clouds are still packed together in the sky when they arrive at the plane, but the rain is mere drizzle now, and Elias doesn’t bother with an umbrella as he hauls his bag over his shoulder.

Brock, of course, has the hood of his jumper pulled tight around his face, and he looks absolutely miserable. Normally Elias would tease him – probably something about his hair – but today he’s not in the mood.

He’s pretty miserable himself.

“Petey, hey.” Brock runs to catch up to him, as they approach the plane. Elias should’ve known Brock would notice: his best friend always seems to know when he shouldn’t be alone. “What’s up, dude?”

Elias huffs out an indignant sound that’s not resembling any English words, and not really any Swedish ones, either. He pulls his eyebrows together in a frown and makes a frustration motion with his hand.

“Y/N…” he says, your name falling off his lips a little rough. “She’s having guy trouble.”

“Ah,” Brock says, like he understands. He probably does.

It’s not the first time Elias is in a mood because of your ‘guy trouble’.

Now it’s not really fair to you, he knows that. You’re not actually aware of the fact that you’re hurting him, by talking about other guys, so he can’t hold it against you.

It’s just…

“Why won’t she love me?” he finally says, as they stand in front of the stairs to the plane, waiting for the others to go in first.

There’s no use pretending, not with Brock. Brock knows him better than anyone and he knows how far gone for you Elias is, how much it hurts that you don’t feel the same way.

Brock shrugs. “She loves you,” he says, but he doesn’t sound quite so sure.

“Not like that.” Elias can’t help sounding a little mopey, and Brock slaps his hard across the back to show his support, in the way that bros do, sometimes.

“Sorry, man,” he says, and he sounds genuinely remorseful.

Elias met you right after he arrived in Vancouver, and he knows it’s cliché to say, but he immediately knew that you were it for him. You made him laugh with some snarky remark at a rude customer in the coffee shop, and that was it. He was sold.

It’s not become anything but friendship, though. And sure, it’s a friendship Elias holds dear to his heart, but he’s not afraid to admit he’s always wanted it to be more. It’s just, he’s never been able to find the words to tell you that.

In the beginning, he blamed his lack of English, but now he knows it’s just you.

You render him speechless. When you look at him with bright eyes, when you say his name. And whenever he thinks about telling you, and thinks about the look of pity on your face and how you would say “Elias…” like you’re the bearer of bad news, he feels like his throat has swollen to the point where talking is impossible.

So he says nothing. But he hates himself for it, every time you sit on his couch and tell him about your failed dating endeavours.

He sits down and takes his phone, to put it on airplane mode. Brock is humming under his breath next to him, and it’s distracting enough that he nearly misses the text notification.

Nearly, but not quite.

Sorry for crying on your shoulder again the text reads.

Elias thinks back to last night, when you’d showed up at his apartment, nearly in tears because the guy you’d gone on a few dates with had cancelled your date and said he’d rather be friends.

“When they say that, they never actually wanna be friends, Petey,” you’d sighed, your bottom lip trembling.

And he’d pulled you inside, parked you on the couch and made you tea, and then you’d watched MasterChef together, your body curled into his, until you weren’t so sad anymore.

He always tried everything to stop you from being sad, and he usually succeeded, too. Taking care of you is one of the things he’s best at, in his opinion.

“I guess finding a decent guy to love around here is just too much to ask,” you’d said, after at least an hour of comfortable silence. “Well, at least I’ve got you, right?”

And Elias had to bite his lip so hard he can still feel where it’s sore, only to stop himself from asking:

Why won’t you love me, instead?

He stares at your text now. Behind it, his background is still visible: a picture of him and you, that he likes to look at when the road is a little too lonely.

“You gotta turn it off, Pete,” Brock says, and that’s when Elias notices the plane is already about to take off.

He quickly texts back “No worries” and switches his phone to airplane mode. The glass of the little round window is cold against his cheek when he leans against it.

It’s gonna be a long road trip.

The bar isn’t busy, but there’s a constant hum of chatter around you, and you try to use that to quiet your mind.

It doesn’t really work.

You’re a few drinks in, and there’s tears burning behind your eyes.

Normally, you would’ve called Elias. But now you don’t feel like you should, anymore.

Elias has been different, since he got back from what felt like the longest road trip in history. He’s been dodging your calls, not texting as much, and you have only seen him once since he got back a week ago, which is not normal for you two.

If you knew why he’s been avoiding you, you could fix it.

But you have no idea.

“Excuse me, can I borrow this chair?” a voice asks. A girl has her hand on the empty chair opposite you, and she smiles at you when you look up.

You open your mouth: something inside of you says no, but you know that’s ridiculous. This is a table for one, tonight.

“Sure.”

It’s not like that guy is gonna show up three hours after he was supposed to.

It’s not your supposed-to-be-date, that you’re thinking about though. Maybe you should be sad about him, because he just stood you up, but instead you’re thinking back to the last time you saw Elias, when he’d just come back. They had won two out of three road games, so he’d been in a good mood, and when you went to his house for pizza and Netflix he’d been chatty and filled with laughter all evening.

His good mood dimmed, when you mentioned you had a date planned.

“Do you know this guy?” he’d asked, and there was a hint of judgement in his voice that instantly got you defensive.

“No, my friend set us up,” you said. “But it’s not like I have a choice, Elias. Time is slipping away from me, and I can’t just sit here and wait for the love of my life to show up while everyone is getting married. It’s no fun being lonely.”

“No,” Elias had said, a strange look on his face. “It’s not fun.”

You would’ve asked him what he meant by that – surely he wasn’t lonely, being Elias Pettersson in Vancouver – but there was something about him that stopped you.

For the first time since you met him, it felt like there was a wall up between you, and it felt like for every stone the wall was made off there was a matching stone in the pit of your stomach.

It felt like you did something wrong, but you can’t put your finger on what. You hadn’t lied to him, although it hadn’t quite been the full truth either. You can’t tell him the full truth, because the full truth is too pathetic.

The full truth, of course, being that when your other best friend Liza got engaged, you realized that everyone had someone, except for you. You just had Elias, and that has always been enough: until you sat there staring at the giant diamond on Liza’s finger and realized that Elias was never going to feel that way about you.

He’s your best friend, and although you’d want him to be everything, if he was interested in more, he would’ve done something by now. And so you decided you had to stop waiting for someone who would never love you like that, and find someone who would.

You haven’t found that person, yet, and you haven’t gotten over Elias either.

You look at your phone now. It’s 2am, and you probably shouldn’t call him, but…

But it’s Elias. He’s your best friend and you know he cares for you, even if he is mad about something.

You just got stood up, and it’s late, and you’ve had a bit too much to drink, and you don’t really want to have to walk yourself home…

“You can always call me if you need anything,” Elias said all the time. “Even in the middle of the night.”

So you call him.

There’s no answer. There’s no answer the next time, or the next, either.

You throw some money on the table. It’s time to take yourself home: after all, you’ve always been able to take care of yourself. There’s no reason for this burning feeling behind your eyes.

He’s just a friend.

The next morning, there’s two texts waiting for you when you wake up.

3 missed calls? Everything OK?

Sorry I missed them. Have to go to practice now, talk later.

There’s no smileys, no familiar XO’s that Elias has been using since Brock forced him to watch Gossip Girl, no love you at the end.

So that’s how you know something is really wrong.

Creating some distance between you is harder than Elias had thought.

“She hates me,” he grumbles. It’s probably not the right time to do this, in the middle of practice, but he’s been distracted and since this is all Brock’s fault, he figures he should just say that.

“She doesn’t,” Brock says. “Also, how is this my fault?”

Elias leans on his stick. They’re both waiting until it’s their turn to do the drill. Jake skates past, shoots on Marky. Scores.

“You said I needed some distance. You said to put my phone on airplane mode every now and then. Last night she called me three times and I didn’t answer, and now she hates me.”

Brock rolls his eyes, ever so slightly: but enough for Elias to see, and he glares at his best friend.

He feels a little vindicated when Brock flushes red and shuffles a little away from Elias.

“Look, bud, I said that because you’ve been miserable.” Brock’s face is gentle. “But since this is clearly not working, have you thought about just talking to her?”

He has thought about that. A lot.

“Absolutely not,” Elias says. “She’s not interested in me, she’s made that clear by dating half of Vancouver.”

Brock laughs. “I didn’t know Vancouver had 6 people living in it.”

“Shut up.” But there’s no heat behind it, and Brock shuffles closer again.

“Petey.” He sounds remorseful. “You haven’t scored even once today. And Marky’s not even trying. You need to fix this.”

At that moment, his name gets called, so Elias shoves Brock aside and skates up to the puck, taking it with him towards the goal.

He shoots wide.

Fuck. Maybe he does have to do something about this.

Elias may have decided he needs to talk to you, but he sure as hell doesn’t have to do it right now. He’s allowed to go home and get changed first, because he’s not going to confess his love and get his heart broken while wearing a Canucks tracksuit.

Unfortunately, it ends up not really being his choice, because when he walks into the hallway of his apartment you’re sitting on the floor, leaning against his front door.

Elias stops dead at the end of the hallway.

You’re doing something on your phone, not noticing him right away. You look tired, and your hair is a mess, and it squeezes something in Elias’ heart.

You look… kinda like shit, and whereas Elias knows he probably doesn’t look much better himself, it’s worse when it’s you.

Suddenly, guilt washes over him like a tidal wave. You needed him last night, and he wasn’t there for you. It was 2 am when you called him: you could’ve been anywhere, anything could’ve happened, you could’ve gotten hurt.

Suddenly he’s walking, faster and faster, until he reaches you.

You look up, and when you see him, there’s a small smile curling at the edge of your lips. But you don’t look happy, and Elias’ worry only intensifies.

“Hey,” he says, reaching out his hand. You let him help you pull you to your feet, but then you drop his hand right away.

It stings.

��Can I come in?” you ask. Your voice is small and you’re fretting with the edge of your shirt.

“Of course.” Elias opens the door, lets you walk in first. Normally, you would kick off your shoes at the door and throw yourself on his couch, or immediately dive head first into his fridge. You don’t do that now, and it’s wrong: everything feels wrong, and Elias hates it.

If he could make it go back to the way it was, he would do anything for it to stay that way. He would ignore his feelings, he would push them away. He would answer the phone.

He wouldn’t hurt you like this.

“Are you okay?” he blurts out. He regrets it instantly, because your face falls even more.

He should’ve eased into it. He should’ve let you say what you came to say, first.

“I’m so sorry for not answering the phone,” he continues, helplessly, because you’re not saying anything and the silence is too much for him to take. “I put my phone on airplane mode and I shouldn’t have done that, you needed me and I should’ve been there for you and…”

“Elias.” Your voice is soft, but stern. Your hand reaches out, fingers curling around his wrist. “Calm down. I’m fine, nothing happened last night.”

Something heavy dissolves in the pit of Elias’ stomach, and for the first time that day, he feels like he can breathe.

“I’m just…” you pause, sigh. Then you stand a little taller, something determined settling over your features. “I just want to know what I did wrong.”

“Huh?” Elias can imagine he must be staring at you pretty blankly, but he truly just doesn’t get it. “What you did wrong?”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t play dumb. I know you’re mad at me. So tell me what I did wrong, so I can fix it.”

Elias can feel it: the energy shifting in the room. There’s something harsh in your eyes, and he knows you came here looking for resolve as much as you came here looking for a fight.

Fighting, he figures, is a way to feel things, too. But he’s not about to let you do that to yourself, especially when it’s his fault.

“Y/N,” he says, softly, and then he shakes his wrist out of your grip and takes your hand in his, instead. Your hand is cold, skin soft, and he immediately decides he wants to hold your hand for the rest of his life. “Come sit with me.”

You let him lead you to the couch, and sit down next to him, body turned away from his.

Once again, you’re sitting on his couch, on the verge of tears. But it’s different, this time. You’re not crying over guys that aren’t worth your time, you’re crying over him, over Elias, and he has to fix this one even more than he did all the other times.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Elias starts. This time, you don’t fight him on it. “It’s me, actually. I think I did something wrong.”

You look up. There’s a hint of fear in your eyes when you ask: “What?”

Elias sighs. It’s hard, to get out the words, even harder than he was worried about. He doesn’t know what to say, how to say it, or how to make you understand.

“I made a mistake,” he says, carefully. “I thought I needed some time away from you, but that wasn’t right.”

“Away from me?” The look of hurt on your face doesn’t pass by Elias. “Why?”

“Why?” Elias repeats. “Because it’s too hard sometimes. It’s too hard to hear you talking about all these guys you’re dating, and how they always hurt or disappoint you.”

Your eyes are fixed on the floor. “I don’t mean to be a bother,” you mutter.

“You’re not, that’s not what I meant.” Elias takes another breath. There’s something about the way you’re sitting here, shoulders hunched, arms wrapped around yourself, that gives him the courage to say: “You talk about them, but you always come back to me.”

You look up at him, eyes swimming with questions.

“Whatever guy you’re with, no matter how lonely you say you are, how many dates you go on; you always end up coming back here, to hang out on my couch. Why?”

“I mean,” you start, then stop yourself.

Are you really gonna tell him?

You think back to months ago, when Liza had asked you to picture your perfect guy.

“I can’t set you up if I don’t know what you want,” she’d said. “So, close your eyes, and picture yourself happy, in the future. You’ve got a house, and a dog, and a job. You’ve got a partner. What do you picture when you think of the partner?”

Elias.

You hadn’t said it, you’d said something about blond hair and kind eyes and someone who always makes you laugh, but you’re not dumb enough to deny that it was Elias that you were describing to her. That you pictured, when you closed your eyes, an alternate reality in which Elias was yours and you were his.

But you clearly can’t say that to Elias, because he’s not interested in you like this, and you don’t want to ruin this friendship. Not when it means the most to you.

You’d give anything to be able to hold onto Elias, and have him hold onto you.

So you say nothing, just stare at Elias’ hand, which has come to rest on your thigh. His fingers are long, slender, and you miss the feeling of them tangled with your own. You wonder if you could get away with grabbing his hand, every now and then, just as friends.

“Y/N,” Elias repeats, and this time he sounds a little desperate. “You’re always saying you’re lonely, and you want someone to love you, and you need a decent guy, and I don’t know what you’re waiting for but…”

I’m waiting for you, you think.

“But I’m right here.” Elias sits up a little straighter. There’s determination in his eyes, a quiet conviction that he usually reserves for hockey. “I’m right here, and I’m a decent guy, and I love you, so why won’t you love me?”

Time freezes.

You’re pretty sure if Elias had a clock you could look at, you’d find the hands of the clock not moving. If you looked outside, the cars would be stationary, the birds would be frozen in the air.

But Elias isn’t frozen. He’s somehow closer than he was before, and he’s moving closer, still.

“Stop me,” he whispers. “Stop me if you don’t want…” He doesn’t finish his sentence.

Doesn’t have to, really.

Because there’s a million things running through your mind, things like because I’m scared and he loves me and we’ve wasted so much time but at the end of the day they all lead to one single conclusion.

It’s him. It’s always been him.

So you launch forward, crash your lips against his in a feverish desperation to finally, finally make it right. He moves back from the force of it, but then his arms are wrapped around you and he’s pulling you closer, into his lap.

He slows down the kiss, softens it. The way he kisses you has your toes curling in your shoes, your heart beating in your throat, because he kisses you like no one has ever really kissed you before.

He kisses you like he loves you.

When you pull away, gasping for air, Elias’ eyes are soft when they lock with yours.

“Yeah?” he asks, and it’s hesitant, careful, like he’s still waiting for you to close the metaphorical door in his face, to take his heart and break it in two.

“I thought it wasn’t possible,” you admit. “I thought you would never want this.”

“Always,” Elias mumbles, and he leans a bit closer, presses a kiss against your jaw. “I’ve always wanted this.”

Always. He’s always wanted this and you were both too dumb to see it, both too dumb to connect the dots. You can’t believe you lost so much time, and you can’t believe it took so long.

Why did it take so long?

“Why didn’t I…” you start, but Elias cuts you off, kissing you once more. Gentle and short, this time, but still just as loving.

“It doesn’t matter,” he says. “What matters is that I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you say, and you bury your face in the crook of his neck, allow yourself to press your lips to his collarbone.

Maybe the why, or the how, or the when, doesn’t really matter in the end. Maybe it’s about the happy ever after.

And you think you found that, now.

#elias pettersson #vancouver canucks fic #nhl fic #elias pettersson fic #elias petterson one shot #elias pettersson imagine

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procrastinatorimagines · 4 years ago

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I Want Us Part 6

Fandom: Chicago PD / SVU

Series: I Want Us

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 (Final)

Pairing/s: Sonny Carisi x Intelligence!Reader

Warning/s: tw rape, murder, assault

Word Count: 1,795

Summary: The Intelligence Unit’s last case with Manhattan SVU had them flying out to New York to track down an abducted boy, and had Dectective Y/L/N and Detective Carisi growing close in the process. Now, a string of rape-murders in Chicago has SVU boarding the next flight out, believing the suspect to be the same man responsible for a set of identical crimes 10 years prior. As the case unfolds, Y/N and Carisi are brought back together, reigniting the spark between them.

You arrived at the previous night’s crime scene a few minutes before Special Victims, slipping on gloves and treating carefully as CSI went over everything they’d found, or didn’t find more accurately, with you. You were knelt down next to where they’d recovered the body, a grim look plastered on your face as you took in every detail of the victim, she almost didn’t look real.

“Detective Y/L/N,” you heard, standing up and turning you attention towards the woman ducking under the crime scene tape and making her way towards you.

“Captain Benson, welcome back to Chicago,” you greeted, meeting her in the middle and shaking her hand, “sorry it isn’t under better circumstances.”

“Oh, believe me, it never is,” she informed you, eyes drifting from you to the body of Jessica Connors with a mixture of sorrow and determination that made you admire her even more than you already did. You still didn’t know how they did these kinds of cases everyday.

Sonny and Kat came through after their Captain. “Hey Y/N, I hear we’re borrowing you from Intelligence for this case,” Kat said.

“You don’t mind that I asked Voight for you to join us do you?” Benson asked, your eyes unconsciously sliding to Sonny as she did. He hadn’t said anything yet, but a small smile was forming on his lips as he looked at you.

“Of course not, anything I can do to help,” you replied.

“Glad to have you then,” Sonny voiced with a grin, ignoring the pointed look Kat gave the both of you.

“You up to speed on the new victims?” You asked, noticing the way Benson was looking at Jessica’s body, CSI just finishing up at the scene.

“Yeah we are,” she told you, her tone and the familiarity in her eyes suggesting that she actually had worked the first case in New York. She noticed you staring and shook the thoughts from her head.

“We’ll catch him this time,” you said, meeting her gaze.

“Will will,” she nodded, looking around at the scene with a Captain’s eye, “Kat and I will talk to CSI, match up any details, see if we can pick up any leads, you and Carisi talk to any witnesses, the officers first on scene, and the man who found the body,” she ordered, turning to go talk to CSI with Kat when she had your confirmation.

“Hey,” Carisi said with a smile when you were both alone.

“Hey yourself,” you replied, “how was the flight?”

“Not too bad, reading up on this case certainly passed the time,” he said, hesitating before adding in a quieter voice: “I was also... looking forward to seeing you again.”

You felt your cheeks go a little red, remembering yourself as you cleared your throat. “We should, um, get on with our orders,” you managed, flustered by the look in his eyes.

He smirked but agreed, gesturing for you to lead the way to where a man of about 35-40 was stood with two uniforms. He was a bit on the shorter side, dark hair and bright white running gear on, not the most practical for a run in the woods, as made apparently by the mud stains. The long scar across his face was distinctive, but you tried not to stare as you made your approach.

“Mr Tate?” Carisi asked, checking his notes briefly to make sure as the man nodded, the unis leaving you to talk to the him. “Thanks for sticking around.”

“You mind if we ask you a couple of questions?” You asked, pulling out your notebook and a pen.

“Of course detectives, anything to help,” he told you both, running a hand through his hair, “I’ve already told the officers that arrived on scene everything I saw.

“We know, but we just want to make sure all our bases are covered,” Carisi clarified.

“Ask away,” Tate spread out his arms, ready for you to begin. Carisi looked to you, signaling you to begin.

“Do you always run this route?” You asked, looking around at the well worn and clearly marked path; the killer wanted the body to be found.

“Yeah, it’s quite a popular trail,” he confirmed, rubbing at a bit of mud on the sleeve of his jumper.

“You see anyone else?” Carisi asked. It was a pretty wide path, and it didn’t diverge much, the killer would have had to use this trail to move Jessica’s body.

“Just another jogger,” he told you with a shrug, something that probably wasn’t very uncommon, even later in the evening.

“But they didn’t see the body?” You probed further, finding it strange. Jessica wasn’t exactly hidden, she’d practically been on full display of the path, anyone would have seen her from where you were.

“I don’t know... I guess not, they were running past me, so I’d be surprised if they didn’t but...” He answered, you and Carisi sharing an identical look as you put a circle around this other jogger in your notes.

“Remember what he was wearing?” Carisi asked for some clarification as Tate scratched his head, thinking.

“Er, black tracksuit, baseball cap, oh and glasses too, like sun glasses, I thought that was strange given how dark it was,” he recalled, your suspicion growing further with each detail.

“White... black...?” Carisi continued, making sure you didn’t miss any detail about your new suspect.

“White, definitely, had a rucksack on too,” Tate said, face scrunched up in thought.

“You were seen him running here before?” You mused, knowing killers sometimes prefered places that were familiar.

“I don’t think so,” he answered somewhat apologetically, “expensive shoes like those... I’d have noticed. Does that help?”

You and Carisi nodded to each other before you took a card out of your pocket, “it does, thank you, get in touch if you think of anything else.”

He took the card, looking over it before slipping it into his pocket, “will do.” He turned to leave, glancing back at the crime scene one last time, Carisi gesturing for the unis to make sure he got back okay.

“Security cameras?” Carisi suggested, reading your mind as your eyes scanned the surrounding area carefully. There wasn’t any this far into the trail, you weren’t that lucky.

“We should check the entrace and exit, if there are only the two ways onto this route then they had to have gone back to one of the car parks, we’ll check the cameras there,” you told him, pocketing your notes and heading back to Benson and Kat.

“You got something?” She asked as you approached.

“Maybe, we’re going to go see what we can find on the nearest security cameras,” Carisi told her, filling her in on everything the witness had just revealed.

“The park ranger can help, he’s with a couple of officers,” she said, a distant and guardedly hopeful look in her eyes. This was as close as anyone had gotten.

You both went off with the park ranger, being led back up the trail to the car park and the rangers station. It was a quiet morning, not surprising given the amount of cop cars and crime scene tape. You’d certainly find a different route if you saw it.

He led you into the station, his partner already having the tape set up to play. “This your guy?” He asked, hitting play as you and Carisi leaned forward, watching intently.

It was dark, but the time stamp matched up as a dark figure emerged from the direction you’d just walked, his jogging slowing to a walk as he approached an equally dark car. The description matched the one Tate had just given you.

“Can you zoom in on that?” You asked, pointing to the number plate on the car. The ranger nodded, pausing the footage and focusing in on the plate. “Got it,” you nodded, Carisi already calling in for a BOLO on the car, a bentley, a long with as good of a description of the driver as he could in the dim light.

“Thanks guys,” Carisi told them as you exited the station, stepping back into the car park as you made your way towards the stop where the bentley had been parked.

Carisi was about to say something to you when your phone rang, digging it out to see Hailey calling. “Hey, how’s it going with Jessica’s family? We think we’ve caught a lead here,” you relayed to her.

“Yeah we heard the BOLO over the radio, got something that might help you with that too,” she told you, a questioning look from Carisi as you put it on speaker for him to hear.

“Oh yeah? What did the family know?” You asked, your aching for them and what they were going through.

“The parents didn’t know much, but when the little sister let us out she mentioned that Jess had been planning to go on a date the last time she’d seen her, about a week a go now,” Hailey explained, the cogs in your mind whirling.

“About the same time we found Lily Hamilton’s body?” You checked, thinking that maybe the killer had swapped one woman out for another.

“You got it,” Hailey confirmed grimly, “and get this, the sister said that Jess had been super excited, saying she’d found her prince charming.” She emphasised the last words, the images of the fanciful ball gowns all the women had been dressed in fresh in your mind.

You heard Jay calling Hailey from somewhere further away, “okay, thanks, we’ll meet you back at the district,” you said, saying your goodbyes and hanging up.

“Prince charming?” Carisi echoed, clearing piecing it together the same as you.

“Sounds like it fits, let’s check if any of the other girls had dates,” you suggested, taking out your car keys.

“I think I read something about that in a couple of the old New York files,” he agreed, following you to your car as he typed away on his phone, most likely telling Benson the plan.

“Looks like we’ve got some work to do,” you told him with a little bit of hope, “guess you’re going to be stuck we me for a bit.”

Carisi grinned, “I can’t say that I mind.” You smiled as you reached your car, more than glad for the company.

Still, something didn’t sit right with you. Not that you didn’t like easy cases, but this... it was too neat, too quick. 9 women dead in New York without so much as a trace of evidence and this lead just falls in your lap?

You couldn’t quite put your finger on what you were missing, but if it helped stop other women from meeting the same fate, you were going to find out.

#sonny carisi #svu #law and order svu #chicago pd #one chicago #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi imagine #svu imagine #law and order svu imagine #chicago pd imagine #sonny carisi imagines #svu imagines #law and order svu imagines #chicago pd imagines #i want us

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thejilyship · 4 years ago

Text

11. A Step Behind You

Hey everyone! I wanted to post this last week, but I only just got the internet situation figured out, so thank you for your patience! This is the third prompt that I’ve written for Jilytober from my list that you all voted on!

Muggle office romance au

WC: 2.2k

James just wanted to get home before Sirius, Remus and Peter ate all of his mother’s Christmas biscuits.

He had tried to steal a couple before heading into the office, but Mia Potter had insisted that he had to wait until tonight and then kicked him out of the house after she caught him in the kitchen ten minutes later, again, trying to knick a biscuit before he had to go to work.

Also, he was angry that he had to be in the office this close to Christmas in the first place.

He typed away at his computer, wondering why his boss had been so adamant that he wanted James in the office, when he clearly could have finished up these reports at home.

There were a few other people scattered through the office, looking just as miserable as he felt.

He was falling into a hypnotic state, hearing nothing but the sound of the keys at the ticking of the clock. Still thinking about the Christmas biscuits.

And then, out of the corner of his eyes, a flash of red.

His breath hitched and he whipped his head around, spotting her rushing down the hallway.

He didn’t know her name, he only saw her every few weeks, and he’d never been able to work out which department that she worked in. He didn’t want to be a creep either, so he couldn’t try too hard. He had just kept hoping that they would eventually run into one another.

Now, she was carrying a watering can.

And that just felt like the kind of thing he was allowed to follow her down the hallway to ask about.

He jumped up from his chair, work and biscuits pushed from his mind, as he followed after her.

“Excuse me!” He called out, spotting her at the other end of the hallway.

She stopped short, her hair swinging back and forth like a pendulum in her plait. She spun around to face him. “Yes?”

“What are you doing?” He asked, his hand jumping to his hair now that she was looking directly at him. Her eyes were green. He hadn’t noticed that before. They were a brilliant shade of green as well.

She looked down at the watering can and then up at him. “I’m surprised no one else has asked me yet,” She gave him a small smile and his heart skipped in his chest. “I came in to pick up my plants before Christmas break, but then I noticed that almost everyone in my office left plants here, so I thought that I would just water them so they’re not all dead when everyone comes back next week.”

“Oh,” James blinked, not knowing what he had thought her answer was going to be, but the one that she’d given him was just so damn sweet. “Would you like some help?”

She smiled again, dimples forming at the corners of her mouth. “I’d love some help.” Then she waved for him to follow her and turned around, continuing down the hallway.

James jogged after her so he could catch up.

And he found out that she worked on his floor.

For the last few months, all he had to do was follow her down this one hallway and he would have found out that she worked in billing, on the same floor as he did. How had they not ran into one another?

“My name is Lily, by the way.” She said, turning to look over her shoulder as she stepped into the first cubicle in the room and then turned to carefully pour water on a fern on the corner of the desk. “I’m not sure that we’ve met before.”

“We haven’t.” James said, and then he furrowed his brow. Did he say that too quickly? “I’ve seen you around before, but I didn’t know that you worked just down the hall here. My name is James.” He knew that he needn’t have said all of that and he could feel his ears warming.

Luckily, she didn’t notice his embarrassment, because she was now focusing on a second fern on the other side of the desk. “Well, I walk past your office almost every day, so I’ve definitely seen you around before.” She looked up and smiled at him, and then she was off to the next cubicle.

He blinked after her and then followed her again. “What can I do to help?”

Lily shrugged her shoulders. “I was hoping that you wouldn’t get wise on me, but I only have one watering can. I was hoping to keep you around for the company so that I could ask you for a favor in a few minutes.”

James had already been intrigued by this girl but she had him on her rope now. He crossed his arms over his chest. “The company? And what if I have important things I should be doing right now?”

She turned to face him fully, smiling with her dimples again. “Then you probably wouldn’t have offered to help me water plants. Here,” She handed him the watering can and then riffled through the top drawer for a pad of sticky notes and a pen. “Go to the next one, I’ll be right there.”

James didn’t even question why he was listening to her, he just did as he was told. Which, if anyone who knew him could see him just then, they would think that was very strange. James Potter never did something just because he was told to do it.

But now he was watering plants, and Lily was following behind him with the sticky notes and the pen.

“What are you writing?” He asked after the fourth desk.

“Goodbye notes.” She said, drawing a very embellished heart.

“But they won’t see these notes until they see you again. Aren’t we watering the plants because-” He stopped and pushed his glasses up his nose. “You said that you were coming to collect your plants.”

Lily nodded. “I did say that. I got a new job that I started after the new year. My last day was yesterday.”

James frowned and Lily smiled at him.

“This is where most people would congratulate a person.”

“Right,” James nodded, “Right of course, congratulations! Where is your new job?”

“At a primary school a few blocks west of here,” Lily smiled. “I’ve finally gotten my degree finished, so I get to start teaching!”

“In the middle of the year?”

“Yes,” Lily grinned. “One of the teachers went on maternity leave a week ago, so I’ll be taking over her classroom until she gets back.”

“Well that worked out perfectly!” He should have tried to talk to her before today.

“Yes,” Lily was still grinning and James’ heart was still jumping around in his chest. “I’ve actually had a string of good luck lately.”

And now she was about to tell him that she had a boyfriend and demolish his hopes even further.

“Like when you asked me what I was doing. That was lucky.”

James narrowed his brow. He hadn’t been expecting that. “Why was that lucky?”

“Because I’d never had a reason to go into your office, so I’d never had an opportunity to talk to you before. And I’m never going to have a reason to come back into this building, so,” She shrugged and the peeled off the sticky note and stuck it to the pot that James had just watered. “I don’t know, I’ve got nothing to lose here so I might as well be honest, yes? I think you are rather handsome.”

James blinked at her, taken aback at her straightforward comment, but also completely shocked that she had noticed him in the same capacity that he had noticed her.

“Biscuits?” He said stupidly and Lily wrinkled her nose in confusion.

“Excuse me?”

“I- I,” His hand was already buried in his hair at this point and he furrowed his brow. “That isn’t what I meant to say.”

“I thought not,” Lily nodded and then started tapping the pen on her pad of sticky notes. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable-”

“You didn’t.” He said quickly. “I think my brain just- listen,” He dropped his hand from his hair to his side and thens et the watering can down on the desk. “I have obviously noticed you around the office before, and a moment ago I was just kicking myself for never trying to catch you in the hallway.”

She was smiling again, and James took that to be a good sign. “And you said biscuits because…”

“My mum is having a holiday biscuit party tonight. I’ve been thinking about them all day.” He shook his head. “Which sounds dumb, but I’m trying to ask you if you’d like to come with me. Unless that’s a terrible idea. I’m saying it outloud and it sounds like it might be a terrible idea.”

Lily’s smile disappeared. “Is it a terrible idea?”

“I just asked you to come to a family Christmas party for a first date, that definitely sounds like something that will scare you off.”

“But it’s a biscuit party.”

“Yes.”

“I like like biscuits and I’m not afraid of meeting people either. How many biscuits could I eat before people look at me weird?”

James started smiling again. It felt very nice to know that his intuition about this girl had been right. “I mean, so long as we don’t see the biscuits that you eat again, no one is going to look at your weird.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “So you want to come then?”

“Yes,” Lily nodded, poking his arm with the end of the pen.

“Do you have an ugly Christmas jumper?”

“Of course.” Lily bounced on her heels and James laughed. “I love Christmas parties and it’s been a while so I’m very excited. Let’s finish up here so I can get home and change!”

James laughed again and nodded, “Alright, let’s go.” And he picked up the watering can again and headed to the next desk, now even more anxious to get off work.

He still didn’t think that it was a good idea to bring Lily on a first date where not only Remus and Peter would be, but also Sirius and his mother. It actually seemed like a terrible idea when he remembered that Sirius and his mother would be there. It was almost a guarantee that they would scare her off.

“Are you sure you want to come? I can take you-”

“I’m sure I want to come,” Lily cut him off, peeling off another note and sticking it to another coworkers desk. “The fact that you’re second guessing so much only makes me want to come more.”

“Giving me a hard time already? We haven’t known each other for more than twenty minutes.” James sighed as he moved on to the next plant. “You’re going to fit right in at this party.”

She looked over at him, her eyes sparkling. “I knew I was going to like you.”

“Yeah, well, just remember that when my mum starts asking you how many kids you want.”

She laughed out loud, startling him slightly, but then he was chuckling along with her.

“Six.” She said suddenly, looking back at her sticky notes.

“Six?” James’ eyes widened.

“Four?” Lily offered, looking back up at him. “I’m not entirely sure, but I know it has to be an even number more than two. I was one of two, and my sister and I don’t get along. I think if there were a few more siblings, then we would have had more people to fight with and it would have been spread out more.”

“I was an only child growing up, so my mother will be thrilled with that answer.”

“Excellent.” She poked him with the pen again. “Alright, I think that’s everyone. Can you help me carry my things down to my car? I don’t know how I managed to accumulate so much stuff over the last year.”

“Of course,” James set down the watering can and followed her to a counter on the back wall that had two boxes, one full of plants, the other full of books and trinkets. The contents of either box could comfortably fit into the other. “This isn’t so much.”

“I had a bigger box that I took home with me yesterday.” Lily admitted. “But I uh,” She cocked her head to the side and eyed him before picking up the box with the books in it. “I wanted to make sure that I had enough stuff left here for two boxes so I could ask you for help.”

“You know,” James picked up the box of plants. “For someone who hasn’t had the nerve to just walk into my office and talk to me, you’ve got a lot of nerve.”

Lily laughed, “Yes, well, you’re bringing me home to meet your family. My confidence has been bolstered.”

And as he followed her down to her car, carrying a box of plants that she’d packed separately just so she’d have a reason to talk to him, his heart skipping happily in his chest and his cheeks already sore from all the smiling he’d been doing, he had a feeling that he was stepping into the rest of his life.

Because he was quite certain that there weren't many places that he wouldn’t follow Lily.

#jily #jilytober #muggle au #jily au #office romance au #jilytober 2020 prompts

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storiesforallfandoms · 5 years ago

Text

recruit ~ eric coulter;divergent

word count: 2602

request?: yes!

“Yay in so happy you'll do divergent pics! I've fallen down mainly an Eric x reader hole. Could you do something cute and fluffy with Eric pleaseee. He may be a jerk but I love him so much “

description: the newest member of the dauntless faction finds herself drawn to her brutal trainer

pairing: eric coulter x female!reader

warnings: swearing, slight mentions of a toxic home life

masterlist

The wind whipped around me, tangling my bright yellow dress around me. My heart jumped to my throat as I expected to land on the cold, hard ground. I was starting to regret my choice. Even if the aptitude test said I was Dauntless, I should’ve stayed in Amity. Being here, they were going to kill me!

I almost let out a cry of relief when I felt a net underneath me, catching me from falling further down the what looked like bottomless abyss. I crawled to the edge of the net, my whole body still shaking. The initiates trainer waiting for me was full of tattoos, had his hair shaved on the sides, and had a piercing through his eyebrow. He looked like the poster child for Dauntless, and if he didn’t look so young, I would think he was the Dauntless leader.

He eyed my clothes with a raised eyebrow. “Did you fall into the wrong faction?”

I shook my head. “No, I chose Dauntless.”

“An Amity choosing to be Dauntless? Interesting,” he noted. “What’s your name, Pansycake.”

I winced at the Dauntless nickname for Amity before responding, “(Y/N).”

“Even sounds like an Amity name,” he muttered before turning to the rest of the initiates who had already jumped and announced, “Our next jumper, (Y/N)!”

He roughly pulled me from the net just in time for another initiate to come flying down from the building. Once all the initiates had jumped, we followed our trainers into the Dauntless city. I marvelled at the place, I had never seen where the Dauntless lived before. Not even in pictures really. Understandably so, Dauntless and Amity weren't exactly the closest of factions.

“Dauntless initiates, you’ll follow Lauren. New initiates will come with me,” the trainer who had caught us said. “We won’t start your training tonight, but we’ll get you settled away and show you around.”

The initiates broke in half and the newbies followed our leader around the city. I took this moment to look around and take in my fellow new Dauntless members. There was a number of blue bodies (the Erudite), few black and white (the Candor), but of course no grey (the Abnegation) and only one yellow, me.

We were finally led to the room where the initiates would be staying. Our leader turned to us before allowing us to enter.

“Before you really get into this,” he started, “I have to warn you that the Dauntless training is not an easy task. Just because you’re new to the faction doesn’t mean we’ll be taking it easy on you. We’ll be training you just as hard as we train our Dauntless initiates. If you don’t measure up, if you step out of line, if you refuse to keep going after we’ve told you to, you’re out. No ifs, ands, or buts. If we don’t think you’re cut out to be Dauntless, you’re done. If anyone wants to leave now, we recommend you do so you don’t waste our time.”

I pretended not to see the eyes darting towards me before quickly looking away. Instead, I held the trainer’s eye contact. He was definitely being less subtle about thinking I was going to fail, but the joke was on him. His doubt in me was only going to push me more, to make me want to pass and become a full Dauntless member. I wasn’t going to fail, not if I had anything to do with it.

When no one stepped away or responded, he spoke again, “Good. Now, go rest. We start right after breakfast tomorrow morning. You’re all gonna want to be well rested and ready to go.”

~~~~~~

Despite how hard I tried, I just couldn’t sleep. I was staring at the ceiling for hours, listening to my fellow initiates sleeping heavily around me. I couldn’t stop thinking of the day before, when I chose Dauntless. Every time I closed my eyes, I could see my parents faces. Part of me wished I’d open them again and it would just be the day before the ceremony, and all of this would be some sort of nightmare, but of course that didn’t happen.

I gave up trying to sleep. I silently pulled myself up out of the bed and slipped on the jet black Dauntless clothes that were provided for us. They were a little tight, but it seemed like that was the Dauntless way, too.

I silently creeped out of the room, making sure I didn’t wake any of the other initiates, or that none of them got up to follow me. The last thing I needed was some Candor or Erudite trying to prove themselves early by attacking the Amity. I had heard stories like that before.

I walked to the chasm that we had been shown on our tour of the Dauntless city. Although I could hear the water crashing down below, it still felt like yet another bottomless abyss. Looking down into it made me feel dizzy, but I swallowed my fear and sat myself up on the railing around it. I wasn’t going to pass the initiation if I backed away from my fears now.

“What are you doing up, Pansycake?”

I turned to see the trainer from earlier approaching me. Instead of shying away at the nickname, I scowled at him.

“You can’t call me that,” I said. “I’m Dauntless now, like you.”

“Technically you’re not. You haven’t passed initiation yet. You could be factionless by this time tomorrow.”

I scoffed. “I’m sure you’d like that, but I won’t be. I intend on passing the initiation, with flying colours if that's possible.”

“Watch it, you’re starting to sound Erudite.”

He pulled himself up onto the railing next to me with ease. He sat so close I could almost feel the warmth from his skin. I tried to repress the shiver that was coming up my spine.

“Why aren’t you in bed?” he tried again.

I shrugged. “Just couldn’t sleep. I figured getting to know my possible new home would be better than laying in bed all night. Besides, maybe the fresh air will knock me out.”

“Or the fear of the Chasm will.”

I was trying my best to avoid looking down into the Chasm, but as he mentioned it I couldn’t help but letting my eyes flicker down. Sitting on the railing, I could finally see the bottom, and I could see that it was full of sharp rocks. I felt my stomach lurch and my head begin to spin, but I couldn’t prove weakness now. I simply looked back up at him.

“It’s not that scary,” I said, hoping my voice sounded as even as I wanted it to.

He snorted. “You’re really trying, Pansycake, aren’t you?”

“Stop calling me that,” I hissed. “Even if I fail the initiation, I won’t be Amity anymore. I’ll be factionless, which means that no matter what, I am not Amity, which means I am not a Pansycake.”

He put his hands up in surrender. “Okay, geez. Calm down kid, I’m just trying to have some fun with you. We’ve never had an Amity initiate before, this is all new to us.”

“I’m not a kid,” I huffed. “Not to you anyways, you look like you’re close to my age.”

“I’m 18,” he said. “But I’m still your superior, which means you’re still a kid in my eyes.”

I sighed, frustrated, and rolled my eyes. I was getting sick of this guy. And now I had to train under him? It was going to be a brutal few weeks.

“So, what did your people think when you chose Dauntless?” he asked. “I can’t imagine the peaceful being angry like ever, but I also can’t see them being too happy that one of their own chose violence over peace.”

I looked down into the Chasm, the nauseous feeling starting to subside. Falling down this Chasm would’ve been much easier than having to relive the day before, where I betrayed my parents and my faction by choosing Dauntless over Amity.

“It’s not like no one has ever chosen to leave Amity,” I responded. “It’s just...a lot of them tend to go to Abnegation or Candor. Selflessness is seen as the closest thing to peacefulness, and the Amity also value truth over everything else. I went into my test thinking I’d come out as one of those. I always followed by what my parents taught me, what the faction taught all of us. I thought it was simple that I would get one of those three factions.”

“But you didn’t.” His voice was no longer harsh and teasing. It was light, almost understanding. I wondered if my brutal initiation trainer was a born Dauntless.

“When the test ended, the woman who administered it to me was shocked. She was also Amity, a family friend, actually. She kept looking over the results, muttering to herself that they must be wrong. Of course, to me, worst case scenario was I didn’t test for any faction. That I was some freak who would never fit into any of the factions, that I was meant to just be factionless for life. But when I asked her what my results were, she looked at me and said, ‘Dauntless’.”

He let out a bark of laughter. “Really? She was panicking because you were Dauntless?”

“The Amity seem to think that if one of their own is tested as Dauntless, then they somehow taught that person wrong. I’m sure you can vouch for the fact that there are very few Amity born Dauntless. I mean, I’m the only initiate from Amity here. It’s as rare as an Abnegation testing for Dauntless. Of course, me being the first one in who knows how long, it was a big deal. I didn’t tell my parents, I begged her not to, either. She struggled with the decision, but said she wouldn’t as she isn’t allowed to anyways.”

“So they found out at the ceremony.”

I nodded. “I kept saying I couldn’t tell them what my results were, and that they’d know by the time I chose. They were so excited that they had themselves convinced I had gotten Amity. Or maybe they were just nervous about losing their only child that they had to convince themselves that they wouldn’t. When I dropped my blood onto the Dauntless coals...I swear, I could hear my parents hearts break.”

Well, I could hear my mother’s anyways. My father...I could already hear the angry yelling. I was glad I had been whisked away before they had the chance to really say anything to me.

“What was their reactions?” he asked. I was so lost in thought I had forgotten he was there for a moment.

“Mom is a born Amity, so she understood. She cried a lot and hugged me so tightly it felt like she was crushing every bone in my body, but she understood that if I tested for Dauntless, that I should choose Dauntless...my father on the other hand...he didn’t even hug me goodbye. His face was so red with anger, I was sure if I was there another moment he would’ve yelled at me.”

“That doesn’t sound very peaceful of him.”

I looked down at my lap. Did I tell this complete stranger, that had done nothing but taunt me since I got here, the biggest secret of my family? What exactly could he do? It wasn’t illegal what my father did, just wrong. The worst that could happen, maybe he became factionless. Maybe that’s what he deserved.

“My father isn’t a born Amity,” I revealed. “He didn’t even test for Amity. He’s from Dauntless, tested for Dauntless, but chose Amity.”

He looked at me with wide eyes, disbelief written all over his face. “What? Why would he...no one ever does that. Especially not a born and tested Dauntless. They’d choose Erudite, maybe even Abnegation before Amity.”

“Apparently he was just in love with my mom,” I responded. “They met in school, they were the same age. The day they got tested, they met up with one another in private to discuss the results. When they found out they had been tested for their own factions, they were both disappointed thinking they’d never see each other again. The day of their choosing ceremony, my dad chose Amity to be with my mom. He’s good at pretending to be peaceful in public but...when he was angry...he was angry. He always took it out on me and mom, but because mom is a born Amity she doesn’t do anything about it to keep the peace. I feel so terrible for having to leave her behind, but I had to get away from him.”

“You chose faction over blood, as you’re meant to,” he said. “At least you’re out of there.”

I didn’t realize I had been crying until he touched my face. I jerked away at first, until I realized he was using this thumb to wipe the tears from my eyes. I was happy to be away from my father, but I hated having to leave my mother. I wished nothing more than to go back and get her, to somehow sneak her into Dauntless, but I knew this wasn’t the place for her. She loved Amity, and, despite how he was, she loved my father. She was so caring, so selfless - a true Amity.

“You’re pretty tough for an Amity girl,” he told me. “Standing up against your father by choosing the faction you tested for over the one he probably threatened you to stay in. That takes guts.”

I scoffed through my tears. “More like cowardice. I was looking for a way out, not looking to stay true to what I tested for.”

“But getting away from that scenario is tough, whether you want to believe it or not. You got guts, kid. I think you’ll make it here.”

I smiled and wiped my face dry using the sleeves of my shirt. “My name is (Y/N). You can call me that, you know. We’ll be equals once I pass the initiation.”

He laughed. “And there’s the cocky attitude. You’ll definitely be a great Dauntless. Since you’re so hellbent on being equals, you can call me Eric, but only in private. Don’t want the other initiates knowing we’ve gotten close or else they may think I’m playing favourites.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You think we’re close?”

“I think I’d like to get close.”

My face heated up at his words and I had to look away. I was grateful for the gust of wind that blew at that moment, cooling me down.

“I’d like that, too,” I decided. I put a hand over my mouth to stifle the yawn that came suddenly.

“Tired now?” I sheepishly nodded. Eric jumped off of the railing and offered me a hand. He helped me down, making sure I was safe on the ground before letting me go. “We have training after breakfast tomorrow. Come find me in the dining room, I’ll be sat with the other trainers and the Dauntless initiates. You’ll be seen as pretty daring sitting with us.”

I smiled and nodded, stifling another yawn as I did so. Eric laughed and wished me a goodnight before heading back towards his own home. I watched him go for some time before I excitedly hurried back to the initiate room, but trying not to make the excitement seem so obvious. Maybe I would like being a Dauntless after all.

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