#I’ve missed doing silly rambles like this on scenes lmao | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

seiwas · 1 year ago

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helloooo sel!!♡

I hope you had a wonderful day today or so far or about to!! and omg you’re majoring in psych😆?!?!? that’s so cool🤩 I have so much respect and love for your career choice🫶

and yes! the fact that things end amicably but it just opens up all kinds of doors and brings up more questions is like bonkers😭 and I agree, reading the trope is one thing but like how healthy can it be for both parties irl like idk😭

And if I were given another to be with him I… tbh I want to say yes that I would go for it, but I also want to say no because I feel weak if I were to cave in that easily LMAO😭 like you know how when reading the exes to lovers trope the two are always kinda like “no! we broke off for a reason, I can’t just go back to them! I have to stay strong!” I feel like I would kinda act like that because I don’t want to be swept up that easily….but then there are the scenes with these tropes that are like “this isn’t right, I can’t be with them! unless👀…” AND I FEEL LIKE I WOULD ALSO ACT THIS WAY🤦‍♀️ like if they’re charm starts sneaking it’s way into the conversation BYE IM GONE💀 I would go WEAK in the knees and fall HARD all over again💀 knee caps GONE🤦‍♀️ (of course this all depends on the fact that if he’s still the same person he was and he hasn’t like drastically changed and become a horrible person or something lol💀 but those are my current thoughts on this topic thank you for coming to my Ted talk🧍‍♀️)

and AW OMG THE WAY YOU SEE YOUR BF IS SO CUTE😭 like all the little things that you see in him and how you interpret them is wholesome🥹 like these characters are just the best and that fact that you see him with all of their best qualities is so endearing like🥹💖🫶😆

and the way he teases you is so funny too (like his teasing is definitely at a atsumu+gojo level lmao), like his eyebrows waggling and the looks like that’s so silly😂 and your relationship is so sweet like the way you guys can still be silly besties but also love one another is so amazing! I just always feel like relationships that have started on the foundation of a great friendship are always so beautiful🥹

And thank you! my day did go well! I actually had a psych class that I had to go to and my professor had started giving us a lecture on sleep stages and dreams so it was really interesting! afterward, I went to this random event that my school was doing with a friend and we got these free air brush shirts and they were pretty cool!

Also I hope you were satisfied with the way your cookies turned out and that it brought you some smiles🥹🫶you’ve also reminded that I’ve been wanting to do some Halloween themed cookies so thank you teehee!! ૮꒰˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶꒱ა

AND YES!! ALL THE IDEAS FROM KOI ARE SO GOOD LIKE🤯 koi’s really cooking it up and serving us WHOLE MEALS over here❤️‍🔥

I’ve actually recently picked up hq bc I started watching it for shits and giggles when all the depressing satosugu stuff was happening in the summer and people were talking about how hq is so wholesome and how others should start watching it now that jjk is about to go through an emotional roller coaster and then…well… I now have another love of my life🧎‍♀️whenever something bad starts happening in the anime or manga for jjk now I just sigh and open up a new tab to watch another episode of hq teehee🤭 (I was VERY happy when we all started talking about hq and jjk on here lol)

IM SORRY SEL I RAMBLED TOO MUCH THIS TIME😭 and I saw that you were wondering whether col had regressed ever since tell me about love and I swear to you it has not😭🫶💖 you’re writing is so beautiful sel like there are so many lines that you have written that feel so poetic to me like omg you’re amazing ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

I hope this weekend is treating you well tho sel🥺🫶💕

⭐️ anon!

hello ⭐️ anon!! welcome back 💓 so sweet of you to swing by!! 🥺

my day has been great so far! had an early start and was able to go to the gym after weeks of skipping!! (actually can't believe how much i missed it 🥹 starting smth again after stopping for a while can be so intimidating but i'm glad i pushed myself to do it!!) & i'm graduated already!! hehe but i'm glad you seem to like psych!! what's yours?

i agree!! an exes to lovers can be so messy if not done carefully 🤧 but i completely get what you mean abt not caving in!! but that's so true!! a lot of time has passed and both of you could be very different people!! and whether that compatibility is still there is a very valid thing to consider!! 🥹

and you're so cute nonie omg 😭 i think i describe him w these characters bc it's the only way i can paint a good picture of him for people on here to understand 🥹 but i'm giggling at how you find it wholesome 🥹 + yes!! omg his teasing rlly is at atsumu/gojo level 😭 he makes fun of me a lot too but it never goes too far 😭 like it's always up until the point that i'm still hiding a smile abt it 🥹 and i do love that abt our relationship too nonie!! that he's my bestfriend and bf in one!! i feel like this is why everything i write is a friends to lovers tbh 😭

ohhh!!! sleep stages and dreams is an interesting topic!! im glad you found it cool!! and the event you went to with your friend too!! im happy you enjoyed 💗

omg i just baked a batch after making it rest overnight and i think i messed smth up in the recipe 😭 it didn't turn out good 😭 but i guess it's bc i tinkered around w it so much 😭 i hope your halloween cookies turn out amazing tho!! ive been seeing a lot of snickerdoodle recipes on my youtube lately!!

YES shoutout to you koi @dear-koi omg you're doing god's work feeding the iwa nation over here 🥹

AND YOU PICKED UP HQ??? OMG THAT'S SO EXCITING!! TELL ME MOREEEE!! hq is really wholesome 😭 you only lose games not lives 😭 (but it's still pretty heartbreaking 😭 hq!! is my bf's fave anime and it made him cry like 2 times 😭😭😭) who are your faves so far?? and who's your team!!! aAAAH

and please don't apologise for rambling omg?? i think it's so sweet that you're continually dropping by to chat and share about your day!! 🥹 and oh gosh my ramblings omg you are so sweet for noticing and for coming in here to reassure me 🥺 i think i just think about it from time to time and worry about it ykno! but i'm glad that you feel that way 🥹 i appreciate it so much and am so touched that you still enjoy the way i've been writing the recent additions!!

i hope this weekend is amazing for you nonie, you are so incredibly sweet!

#long post ahead!#nonie.⭐️#ask #rep #love mail

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itsclydebitches · 4 years ago

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Until proven otherwise, my headcanon is that both Ironwood and Watts survived and are going to team up again out of necessity lmao.

HI, ANON. So let me tell you about how this simple, silly sentence sent me down a 4k writing rabbit hole. “Lol I’m going to write a little parody about that” I thought to myself and then somehow? It got serious?? I honestly don’t know what this fic is, but I’m chucking it at everyone anyway.

Also, I changed the whole “Atlas and Mantle are immediately submerged in water” plot point because it’s my coping mechanism and I get to choose the canon we ignore.

***

Once upon a time there were two villains having a Very Bad Day.

The first, Arthur Watts, had survived an explosion, being buried under rubble, and the threat of a ten-story drop only to find himself suffocating amidst a magically produced fire. A horrible way to go, all things considered. Painful, of course, but more importantly, no self-respecting man should die with soot on his clothes.

Or leave behind a charred corpse.

In fact, Watts had just begun to acknowledge the full indignity of his death when the momentum he'd felt — just there on the periphery of his awareness — suddenly ceased, Atlas crashing into Mantle and throwing him with a squawk in the process. His head took a nasty hit against one of the desks, the smoky gray of the room growing darker, and by the time Watts had come to, the fire had been replaced by water.

Ice-cold water, lapping up to his knees.

"Well," he said, lifting a sodden boot. "I suppose this is an improvement."

***

Elsewhere, James Ironwood — former General of the now sinking Kingdom of Atlas — was lying facedown on the stone of the outer vault, contemplating his choices. Upon reflection, no, he didn't regret what he'd done, but it would have been nice if things had turned out...any way other than this.

"Fuck," he said to the empty hall, enjoying the reverberation. He deserved that much at least.

In time, Ironwood was able to pick himself up off the floor, supported as much by the fact that he'd been knocked out by his own blast as his shaky, barely-there aura. Up the elevator running on emergency dust reserves, through the corridors that groaned ominously under damaged supports. Ironwood headed towards the military headquarters purely out of habit and as he did the sound of water grew stronger, almost like waves, until there was an inch of it across the floor, more trickling in from the staircase. Ironwood had been watching his boots splash with each step, almost mesmerized, and didn't look up until another pair unexpectedly entered his view.

Watts froze in the act of wringing out his pantleg, eyes wide. His expression, the water, how the hallway tilted downward at a slight angle... it all felt like something out of a dream. Ironwood just watched as Watts watched him, until his eyes traveled to the gun clipped on his belt. Ironwood hadn't even realized he'd picked it up.

"Here to kill me, James?" Watts said.

"No." He knew it was true as soon as he'd said it. The mere thought of starting another fight right now was... exhausting. "Do you intend to kill me?"

"Oh really. Does it look as if I'm in a position to fight you? Do use your head for once. I have no weapon, no aura — damn fire ate it all up — I feel as if I've swallowed a hot coal, I am wet — "

Ironwood turned partway through the ramble, meandering back up the way he'd come. He'd passed through two checkpoints before realizing that Watts was not only still talking, but following him.

"What do you want?" he asked, more to shut the man up than out of real curiosity. If Watts was capable of reading the difference between the two, he didn't show it.

"Cinder."

"Cinder?"

"I don't make a habit of allowing people to try and murder me without consequence, James!"

"She's gone."

"Yes, thank you for that stunning bit of info! There's no possible way I could have realized that for myself. What's gotten into you? They left us, fool. Salem, Cinder, Neo, Emerald, even your so-called allies... they all deserve the worst that we can grant them. Though right now, I'd settle for wringing that idiot Pietro's neck. Ten years I gave to that research and he rendered it obsolete with a single report, all because he wanted to play father to some stupid hunk of metal. I never would have gone to Salem if — " Watts cut off, hands balled into fists.

Ironwood just blinked dazedly, coming to a halt. He searched his uniform, the scroll he'd stashed there miraculously whole. Dimly, he registered that he should be feeling some sort of emotion right now.

"I can do that," he murmured.

"What?"

But Ironwood was already keying in the code, the desire to complete a task, any task, taking hold. Watts looked on, mouth twisted in a deprecating sneer.

"I already took out communications, in case you failed to notice."

"But not the trackers I had installed in my top scientists." Ironwood held up the screen where a small, red dot was blinking. "Pietro's still here. Looks like he's out near the mine with a second aura signature. If you want to...?" He wasn't going to finish that sentence.

"I see," Watts said in a tone that heavily implied he didn't. "And you'd just give me this information out of the evilness of your heart?"

Ironwood considered that. "I killed a man yesterday, tried to kill two others, and was ready to bomb all of Mantle to keep the rest of my Kingdom safe. I don't care what you do with the man who betrayed me."

"...fair enough."

Except after five steps Ironwood realized that Watts wasn't following him. He was looking down at his arms, still as a hunted hare.

"You put trackers in all your scientists?" he asked.

"A requirement I implemented after you went missing."

"Ah! Ingenious. Lead the way then."

***

The way led to the tundra, an environment that neither of them were prepared for. Watts was wet from the waist down and Ironwood had long ago learned that snow and metal didn't mix. Neither had the aura for the kind of storm that was raging either. Luckily, the panic of Salem's invasion had left plenty of vehicles to purloin and soon they were speeding East with the heat on, the faint beeping on Ironwood's scroll growing stronger.

He'd felt the impact of his city crashing down and the two of them had clamored out of Atlas' husk, dropping into rubble and cracking ice. Still, the true destruction wasn't evident until they were moving away from it. Through the rearview mirror, Ironwood could see pillars of smoke from fires that the water hadn't yet smothered, dark shadows that could only be grimm, and Atlas itself, plunged halfway into Mantle. It wasn't noticeable from this distance, but all of it was sinking.

"I was lucky," Ironwood said, his voice hollow. His eyes flicked back to the expanse of snow ahead of them. "If Atlas had tipped the other way, the vault would have flooded. I'd have drowned."

Watts snorted. "I'm lucky. That damned water put out Cinder's fire. I'd have burned."

Neither felt particularly lucky and for fifteen more minutes, neither was keen to discuss it.

***

Once upon a time, two heroes were having a Very Bad Day.

"You've got to be shitting me."

Maria paused in the act of bandaging Pietro's leg, mechanical eyes narrowing at the two figures that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Watts sucked in a breath at the duo. Ironwood gave a small, awkward wave.

Then he nodded his head at the scene: one old, exhausted woman and a paraplegic currently bleeding into his chair. "So... going to kill him?"

Watts ground his teeth. "Well now that just feels like a fool's errand. Look at him. He's pathetic!"

Pietro was slumped at an uncomfortable angle, sporting a gash in his leg and an impressive display of bruises across his face. Maria, in contrast, seemed to have only lost her hair tie.

"Pathetic?" she spat. "Your lackey did this!"

"Who?"

"Angry girl with the creepy arm."

"Ah, it all comes back to Cinder." Watts pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, thank you for recognizing that I was her superior, but no, I didn't send her to kill the likes of you. Must have done it on her own, the little idiot. Don't believe me? I was in jail at the time, if I recall correctly. Isn't that right, James?"

"You were helping me hack Penny."

Maria let out a skin-crawling cackle. "Why do you think the girl was here? She blew a hole in the bottom of Amity! Penny tried to hold us up, but..." she swallowed, still pressing against Pietro's leg, but turned warily towards them. "You hacked her? You did that? What precisely do you think happens when a man who never learned to apply aura as a shield crash-lands in this hunk of junk!"

"I expect most men in that position perish," Watts said smoothly. "The fool is lucky to be alive, but he won't be for much longer if you keep trying to staunch the wound with your soiled gloves. Move aside."

"Get away from me!"

"Oh, put your stick down, you old bat. I'm trying to help."

"Why?" Ironwood hadn't realized he'd spoken until Watts was glaring daggers his way.

"So I can kill him later myself!"

Still surreal. Still dream-like in its absurdity. Ironwood listened to the bickering between Watts and... Mary? Maria? He wasn't even sure. He wandered away, content to gaze out through one of the windows at his Kingdom. Or what was left of it. He idly massaged his left arm, trying to rid himself of a pain that wasn't there, and when the howl of a grimm reached them across the snow, he shivered.

His unlikely companions screamed at each other loud enough to reverberate through the whole building. There were the sounds of two bodies trading blows, but only for a moment. Pietro, voice groggy and high-pitched with terror, demanded to know where his daughter was.

"She's dead," Ironwood said. He didn't turn to see their expressions, didn't need to. "Winter she... she defeated me as the Winter Maiden. That can only mean one thing."

"One thing to you, perhaps." Ironwood did turn then, watching stoically as Pietro tried to right himself in his chair, Watts cursing as the leg continued to bleed. "Where is she? I want to see my little girl. I can heal her, fix her — " he broke off, doubling over with a cough that splattered more blood into his hands.

"Maybe you could have," Watts said, a cruel satisfaction in his voice. "If her little friends hadn't made her human."

Some of the pieces fell into place then. His Lamp, long missing, had apparently wound up in Neo's hands, then Salem's, before it was finally used by Cinder. Watts described — with immense pleasure — the plan the group had concocted and the wish they'd asked of Ambrosius. He'd been a bit preoccupied with bomb duty to learn the details, but he knew that Cinder lived and Ironwood, it seemed, knew that Penny had perished. What a tragedy. Do you know how to bring back the non-mechanical, Doctor?

Ironwood honestly thought the old woman was about to kill him, murderous intent put on hold only because Pietro collapsed then, curling in on himself as sobs wracked his frame. The only words that escaped the mess of tears were "Penny" and then "Maria," one hand reaching out blindly for comfort. Pietro found it, the two holding onto each other as Watts sat at their feet, grinning up at the display.

Ironwood thought only, So that is her name.

The other, crucial bit of info was that everyone was gone. Dead or evacuated, it didn't matter. As far as any of them knew, they were the last four in Atlas, with Salem on her way to destroy whatever kingdom next took her fancy. It was over. They'd lost. And despite the horror of it, the realization was oddly freeing too.

When Maria asked in a tone edging on hysteria what precisely they were going to do — because it seemed this was a "we" situation now — Ironwood suspected she meant in the short term. What were they going to do about their wounds? The grimm? Finding and reaching the others? But those were foolish concerns, the thinking of someone who'd never had a kingdom's life in their hands. Ironwood knew there was only one answer here, the same one he'd had from the start.

"You can do whatever you like," he said. The metal of Amity sparkled against the rising sun, leaving splotches of color behind his eyes. "I will defend Atlas."

Maria's mouth dropped open and Watts stared. Even Pietro ceased his crying long enough to suck in a breath.

"Defend it from what?" he asked.

Ironwood shrugged. "The grimm. Salem. I don't know. I don't care. To quote a former friend, I have never wavered in defending the Kingdom of Atlas against its enemies and I don't intend to start now. This is my city and I won't leave it."

"It's sinking!" Watts cried, overlapping with Maria's, "We need to help" and though so much softer, quieter, more innocent than the spittle Watts was scattering across the floor... that single word sank its teeth into Ironwood. The woman may as well have stabbed him.

"Help?" he said. "Help? I tried to help! Everything that I have done in the last two days — the last two years — my life! — has been to help not just Atlas, but everyone I feasible could. Don't talk to me about help when you and Ms. Rose did everything you could to stop me. I had planned to help the world and you all lied. You betrayed. You set your weapons against me and kept me from saving what parts of my Kingdom I could. Tell me again: what precisely did you do to help?"

He'd crossed the distance, one hand on his holstered gun and the other leaning against Pietro's chair, using it to leverage himself down into Maria's space. Ironwood didn't need to see her eyes to know the emotion they held.

"I," she spit, "didn't try to bomb a city."

And just like that the fight in him was gone. It had barely existed in the first place. Ironwood straightened, swaying slightly on the balls of his feet. "No. You didn't. So it's as I said, go help if you want. If you can." His gaze slid to Watts. "You were one of her men. That says it all." Pietro. "You helped them reveal Salem to the world. Will she have time to destroy the other kingdoms before the grimm do it first?" Maria. "And I don't know you, but you don't earn a prize like that without seeing combat." Ironwood lifted his metal finger, tapping it against Maria's goggles. She flinched away. "Can you honestly say you haven't made mistakes?"

"You and I are nothing alike!"

"I didn't say we were."

Ironwood turned and walked away, as steady as he could manage as the world grew a little darker, despite the sunrise. Behind him Watts' voice rang out like a shot.

"So that's it then? The captain goes down with his ship? You idiot!"

He paused. "Not quite. It turns out I'm not the only idiot around these parts. Ms. Rose left the vault open." One last turn to savor their shocked expressions. "That's where I'm going. There are still plenty of airships if you'd like to leave, but just remember: they abandoned you too."

Perhaps he should have been surprised that by the time his boots hit the snow, three more footsteps were sounding behind him. Frankly, in fourteen hours time Ironwood would barely remember their conversation, let alone everything that came after it. One of them drove back to the sinking city. Someone tested the ice before they cautiously crossed it. Someone else dispatched the stray grimm foolish enough to get in their way. Ironwood saw and heard none of it. He walked with the determination of a wind-up toy, wobbling now that he'd reached the end of his string. Cool blues, a shining gold, and then beautiful, miraculous grass. Ironwood ignored the murmurs of amazement behind him, dropping directly to his knees.

When his palms hit the ground, only one was capable of feeling how soft it was.

I need to update my arm, he thought, even as he curled into a ball and passed out.

***

When he woke they were already running out of time.

For the first two days Ironwood barely spoke to the others and thus he never quite figured out why they'd stayed. Had it been hopelessness? Spite? The all consuming thought that there was nowhere else to go? That Atlas, for all its rubble and slowly rising water, wasn't any different from what the rest of Remnant would look like soon?

Why not here then?

Especially when the vault, filled with wildflowers and an endless sun, made for such an enticing retreat.

"Soil's farmable," Maria said, running some of it through her fingers. It was a statement of fact, nothing more, and the three of them stubbornly ignored the implications of it.

"There's — " Pietro coughed, self-consciously clearing his throat. "There's plenty to salvage. Machinery to pull water from the humidity in here. First aid supplies. We could section off an area for our wa — "

Watts seethed. "If you finish that thought I will — "

"What?" Maria arched a brow. "Kill him? Like you've been saying for the last day?"

Day? Ironwood blinked. How long had he been out?

"I will!"

"Like you'd be able to. Just try it, beanpole."

They argued, and they threatened, but none raised their hands to one another again, and when they finally dispersed across the kingdom to collect what they could, none of the acknowledged what it was for.

Ironwood waded through the remnants of his home and didn't think about building another. Because the idea alone was absurd.

"Don't let the door slam shut," he'd said when they’d first left, nodding to the stone slab that had appeared after Penny had first arrived. Ironwood watched the three exchange glances, unsure if he was joking.

Fuck if he knew.

***

Those four days — or five, if Ironwood counted the one he'd lost — were conducted in a strange state of frenzy. None of them were in a position to be working on such a project, but when had the world ever cared for their needs? Pietro stayed behind in the vault, cataloguing what they'd found and making lists for what was still needed. His chair, while dynamic, wasn't meant for the sort of terrain Atlas had become and his wound was still healing.

He also seemed to appreciate the privacy, frequently mourning his daughter with an honesty that made them all uncomfortable.

Maria went off to do the Gods only knew what, disappearing for hours at a time, then coming back wet, cold, and carrying little. Though she always had information. Which parts of the city were too grimm invested to traverse, which were now completely underwater, which were too unstable as Atlas tilted like a ship, disappearing beneath the waves. It gave them all focus and, surprisingly, something like hope. Whatever else she carried was usually small, such as the seeds filched from the bio laboratories.

"Couldn't take them all," she said, critically surveying the land, "what with so many of the labels getting lost in the crash. Don't want to eat something your lot has experimented on."

"You should. If we're lucky you'll mutate into someone bearable." Watts, taking stock of the clothing they'd gathered, didn't seem to realize that Maria was flipping him off.

He went on a deep dives (sometimes literally) for salvageable tech, most of it of a practical nature, but other pieces... not. Nothing had shifted Ironwood's world view quiet like day two, walking in on Watts looming over Pietro, assuming there was another fight brewing... only to overhear them exchanging theories, the conversation filled with as many insults as legitimate claims. Still, the seeds of camaraderie were there, and were perhaps easier to grow than originally thought. After all, Watts had once been one of them and Pietro, for all his heroics, had once entered Ironwood's office with a manic gleam in his eye, rambling about giving an aura to a machine. Defense technology at its finest!

What was it Glynda had said? Ah yes, agreeing with young Ms. Nikos about how "wrong" it all was. But desperate times, desperate measures and all that.

They'd had that discussion, of course. Soon after Ironwood awoke, talk of Amity began again, this time about whether it was possible to send another message. With enough time and effort, not to mention luck... a short one, perhaps, and only sent to an individual scroll. But what was the point? Who would they call? When no one could — or would — answer that question, the idea was dropped.

In the days since, Ironwood had fantasized about messaging Glynda. One of the few who'd ever been a true friend, perhaps the only one left alive who might care that he was still among the living... if Ms. Rose's message hadn't killed that too. Not that it mattered. Even if Amity wasn't a hunk of metal gathering ice, Ironwood hadn't a clue what he might say to her.

Dear Glynda,

Thank you. Sorry. Good luck.

Sincerely,

General James Ironwood

P.S. If things had ended differently, I would have asked for a second dance.

How ridiculous.

So he walked the broken streets of Mantle and climbed the streets of Atlas, more and more of it disappearing every day. Their hoard grew though, born of not just military property, but personal belongings as well. It wasn't as if anyone was coming to claim them. Unless more magic was at work, both cities would be miles beneath the ice before anyone crossed the border again. Still, Ironwood would always pause before packing away what he found in the hastily abandoned houses. Bedding. Utensils. The literal shirt off someone's back. He'd changed into jeans and a thick sweater the second day, taken from a collection of civilian clothes he'd placed into a locker years ago and promptly forgot about. The uniform felt... obsolete now, no matter that his goals remained the same.

He'd encountered Maria on one of those trips, admiring a basket of yarn in some nameless Atlesian's living room. Her shoulders had tensed at his approach, but she just snorted at the sight of him.

"You knit?" he asked, unsure of what else to say.

"No."

"Crochet?"

"No."

Ironwood didn't know any other crafts that involved yarn. "Then why are you taking it?"

Maria hummed. "Just a thought. That I might, someday, try to learn." She shook a book she’d pulled from the basket: Knitting For Beginners.

A stray thought indeed. The thing they still didn't talk about. The closest they got was on the fifth night when an explosion sounded outside, massive enough to unsteady them even deep within the vault. By the time all four of them had made it out and onto one of the roofs, the sky had turned a sickly yellow, followed by black tendrils that raced, turning, back and around on each other until everything went dark. The only light came from what little electricity they had running on generators and a red aura, pulsing from the West.

From Vacuo.

Realistically, it might have meant that they'd won. It wasn't as if Ironwood had any idea what the death of an immortal witch looked like. But the night wore on and they had no idea because that unnatural, starless black never receded. In time, Pietro wandered off and returned with two bottles he'd pilfered from somewhere, cracking the tops off on the side of his chair and passing them around.

They still didn't say it aloud, though the sky and the alcohol said enough already. Ironwood kept his eyes on the watch his mother gave him, hours ticking by until sunrise was long overdue. Atlas felt even colder now and that red, seeming to inch closer, sent a different kind of chill down his spine. The grimm that still prowled below had taken off hours ago, summoned by some unheard call.

Ironwood downed the dregs of his bottle and threw it into the city.

"Come on," he said. Ordered maybe, or asked. He wasn't sure he knew the difference anymore.

Blankets. Glasses. As many non-perishables as they could find. Generators. Tool kits. The building blocks of renewable energy. Clothing. Decorations. Wood to build small, individual dwellings.

Watts hoarded laptops and a small mountain of batteries, never showing them what he was working on, intensely protective.

Maria grew obsessed with entertainment, snagging every book, game, and video until there was a veritable library piled on the grass. She kept muttering about deserving a real retirement.

Pietro built a shrine to Penny, a simple stone monument to the left of the doorway. He tended to organize their supplies there, occasionally reaching out a hand to brush the code he'd inscribed with a laser. Whatever meaning it held, Ironwood couldn't read it within the ones and zeros.

And he... he found a cat. His last day, picking his way across dwindling islands until his eyes found the small, electrical fire just out of the water's reach. The cat had wedged herself into the rubble above it, trying desperately to keep warm.

She was as black as the sky above them and Ironwood was sure, when he reached out, that she'd run, terrified of his prosthetic hands. They certainly weren't any warmer, but she weakly crawled into them nonetheless. Ironwood held her securely against his left side, where his heart and flesh were, and thought with an absurd, internal laugh that he'd at least saved one.

There was so much left to do still, but their time was gone. That evening, eating what little they had the stomach for, water began to pour from the vault's elevator. First a trickle, then a deluge, until there was a sizable waterfall to admire. Ironwood sat on the steps with his unnamed cat on his shoulder, watching inevitability creep towards him.

He could still lie though.

"There's still time," he said, addressing the three behind him. "If you head up the elevator shaft and down the west hall, you can still break the surface. Find one of the remaining airships. Fly away."

Watts scowled, avoiding his gaze. He remained leaning against the doorway though.

Maria and Pietro exchanged glances.

"I'd carry you," Ironwood offered to Pietro. They both knew it would be a death sentence with their combined deadweight, but he'd do it anyway.

"No," he said softly. "I did all I could already."

Maria. She was harder to read with those goggles, but it wasn't peace on her face. Guilt, more likely, but that had never stopped any of them before.

"It's damn cold out here," she muttered and marched back to the grass. Pietro followed her, Watts trailing not far behind. He turned back though.

"You coming?"

Ironwood didn't answer and eventually Watts left, heading into the meadow that stretched until you lost sight of where you'd been — and then reappeared there. A tiny pocket dimension, born of a magic now lost to this world. Ironwood figured that a bit of water and ice couldn't break it.

Probably.

He watched the flood cover the floor of the vault, then lap upwards, one stair at a time. There was a part of him, a part unimaginably tired, that thought he might just sit there. Keep rooted until the water was so high it was too late to do anything. That would be easy. Fitting, even. Shouldn't he go with his kingdom?

But then the cat — his cat — dug nails into his shoulder and Watts said something that made Maria screech. Ironwood sighed.

There were still things to protect, simple as that had become.

He turned his back on Remnant, now encased in an eternal night, and walked to the three who remained, cowering in an eternal day.

Ironwood allowed them one last choice and when they all nodded, he kicked the vault door shut.

#tw suicidal thoughts #rwby #fic things #rwby fic #Ironwood #Watts #Maria #Pietro #idk what this IS #post-apocalyptic RWBY I guess #with a side of questionable people not talking to each other #Anonymous

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zevzevarainai · 4 years ago

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Hey! You ever end up doing essay on the kazumaji gifs? (I'm highly interested because it's always majima o' clock where I live)

it’s always majima o’clock here too; maybe we live in the same area... but lmao i didnt write the essay on my kazumaji gifs because i didnt think anyone would want to hear it so i meant it more as a per request kind of deal. and you’re requesting. I want you to know you did this to yourself, my friend

below the read more for everyone’s well being. welcome to my first official majima analysis essay

ok so in those tags i said something like majima is softest with kiryu because it is absolutely the truth (unless you count makoto, which i love them too, but majima has moved on or at least is making an effort to. and that was pre-tacky snake skin jacket and pre-mad dog persona.)

the prompt for the gifset was “maybe something about majima being stupid and unhinged but like, in a sweet way” and the whole point of this rambling is that kiryu is really the only one we see who causes the mad-dog persona to slip. kiryu says he can never get a read on majima but just because he is unpredictable doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand that he isn’t just batshit crazy. he trusts majima, and finds comfort in his lack of predictability, keeping kiryu’s life exciting and providing distraction from the insane amount of tragic shit that happens to kiryu. and majima has a similar experience of idolizing the yakuza lifestyle as teens/young adults only to have the yakuza drag them through hell. But this is supposed to be about Majima.

ANYWAY what GETS ME is again that mad-dog vibe slipping around kiryu. the only time we really only see it again is with Saejima when he comes back from jail. i’m gonna talk about that later too. LET’s GET TO THE GIFS i’m going in chronological order not the order i put them in

Ok so as an audience, we don’t really know what happened between Kiryu and Majima between Yakuza Zero and Yakuza/Yakuza Kiwami. Yes, we get that tiny ending scene of Majima going KIRYU-CHAN for the first time and Kiryu smiling at him. But we are given nothing as to how they met or why Majima started calling him Kiryu-chan. It is left completely to the audience’s interpretation. Because then it goes straight to the first scene with Majima in Yakuza/Yakuza Kiwami after Kiryu gets out of jail. It implies that they already knew each other, and arguably that they were somewhat close -- close enough for Majima to “miss him.” (What was majima doing for those 10 years, i don’t know, but he clearly wasn’t in a great place, missing both kiryu, makoto, and saejima, we ignore y5 lore in this household or make up shit to fill in the giant gaps) You could argue that Majima missing Kiryu is just Majima being “crazy haha woah” but his character is so much deeper than that, and it’s proven in this gif’s scene. Yes he is fighting Kiryu with all his men. But if you are reading this you understand that them fighting physically all the time is a secret love language. They never intend to severely hurt each other. Fighting is how they know that they have an equal, someone else who was modeled into a weapon because of the Tojo Clan.

And yes, “He belongs to me!” is an extremely gay thing to say. He doesn’t even need to say that, though. One of his men didn’t understand that he doesn’t actually want to hurt Kiryu. The guy picked up Majima’s knife and tried to actually hurt Kiryu. Majima willingly gets stabbed so Kiryu doesn’t get hurt. That’s a handful of gay subtext right there. Majima’s first scene in y1 is about how the world is a horrible, shitty place that will chew you up and spit you out if you care. Then he goes and gets stabbed. Self-sacrificially. He cares about Kiryu, even if it hurts.

This one isn’t as deep. It stems of the same concept of them fighting each other as equals. Majima explicitly says more than once that strength is the most admirable trait, Goromi says that it only matters that a man is strong. Kiryu is the only person who presents a challenge to him. He admires him.

(As a disclaimer, I know a lot of people are uncomfortable with Goromi. I’ve also seen a lot of non-binary, gender-fluid, etc. people project on Goromi and Majima, and I feel like that can only be a good thing. Obviously they deserve more and more quality representation. I think the people who dislike Goromi are valid as well, but for the sake of this argument we are going to see Goromi as the people who project on her do and I’m going to use she/her pronouns when talking about Goromi.)

Regardless on your stance on this whole little side quest, the player has the choice to go along with Goromi which creates actually a lot of subtle connecting between the two of them. Even in just talking to her, we see the mad-dog mask slip. She talks about how much she cared about the girls at Club Shine and wonders how they’re doing. Literally says “all part of my tragic-ass backstory.” And Kiryu sympathizes with it. Says he sees through the “i hated it” bullshit and sees Majima/Goromi’s true self, which is that the cabaret job was hard for Majima because he cared about the women and didn’t like using them as a source of income and knew it would be his fault if they got hurt.

Also, Goromi says that "When I’m with a guy, it’s all about if I’m having enough fun. That’s why he’s gotta be strong.” Sound like someone we know? Someone who we are talking about in the last gif with i-just-got-the-shit-beat-out-of-me-and-it-was-awesome bliss on his face?

Anyway, the scene in the gif is near the end of the session. Kiryu is talking about how he’s been in prison for 10 years, and Goromi says that now that he’s out he should try to relax and and a little fun. Arguably, “since you’re so lonely right now, I’m gonna give ya a hand!” is most of Majima’s role in YK1. Kiryu gets out of prison. Majima wants to fight him all the time and says it’s because he’s gone soft and needs to train. Majima Everywhere presents excitement in his life when everything else is hard and shitty and traumatizing. Yes, Majima kidnapped Haruka. But there isn’t a lot of info on that. Majima says he did it so they could fight but it very likely could have been an order from the Tojo Clan or even Nishiki. Until he develops a bond with Haruka, Majima is, in a way, all he has. Nishiki is mean now. Yumi is ???. Kazama is i don’t even remember but he certainly isn’t any emotional support. He’s lonely. Majima is the only person he has from before prison, and quite possibly the only person who understands what he is going through.

YK2, Kiryu has yeeted out of Majima’s life as Kiryu does, but he’s trying to protect haruka so I’ll let it slide. And what does Majima do now that Kiryu’s not there? Leaves the Tojo Clan. Yes it’s because he doesn’t like the 5th chairman’s style and to make up for Kawamura, but the point is he’s bored. The use of “MY Kiryu-chan” is obviously written there because “haha majima he’s crazyyy” but come on. Majima left the Tojo Clan after Kiryu stepped down as the 4th chairman. Because he was bored. Because he couldn’t trust his own men. The only person he considered an equal just wasn’t there anymore and he found it difficult to adjust. (That’s YEARNING, fellas)

So yes, HIS Kiryu-chan came home, but what is home in this context? It clearly isn’t the tojo clan, so I guess it could be Kamurocho in general. But if the clan doesn’t make it home, what does make it home? Perhaps a certain triangle shaped man??

Oh boy silly Majima wants to fight Kiryu again hahaha weeeeeeeee NO listen, LISTEN, he does want to fight kiryu again, because 1) the man has been bored for a year 2) FIGHTING IS THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE 3) Majima is once again surprising Kiryu in a world where nothing surprises him anymore, where kiryu expects people to be vile and only want him for gain. Every single goddamn game it’s “Kiryu plz save the Tojo Clan plz” and Kiryu NEVER gets anything in return unless you count, i don’t know, Daigo and Haruka’s safety? But Majima doesn’t give a shit about any of that. Majima is one of the only people who consistently does things for Kiryu (even if they’re presented in an abnormal way). Majima is really the only one who makes sacrifices for Kiryu. But this fight, it kicks off YK2 of “hey, i missed you but i won’t admit it because we’re manly yakuza, please let me try to make you smile.”

THE kazumaji scene. Going off of Majima being the only one to make sacrifices for Kiryu, here’s a perfect example. Majima first aids the Tojo Clan which he swore to leave literally only because Kiryu asked him to. Then, here, he get beaten within an inch of his life because he promised Kiryu he would protect Kamurocho from Ryuji. Majima does not give a shit about the Tojo Clan at this point. Yes, Majima LOVEEESSSS beating people up, but he’s fatally wounded. This is not a Majima who would die for the Tojo Clan. This is a Majima willing to die for Kiryu. After warning Kiryu about being to trusting, too.

And of course, we get the Majima collapsing on the pavement and Kiryu rushing in to CRADLE him in his arms like a damn fanfic. You’ve even got the “I did it for you” which everyone knows is basically an “I love you.” Look at Majima’s face in the gif. Bless the Kiwami 2 graphics, first of all. He’s looking at Kiryu like he wants him to be the last thing he sees, like he wants him to know that he’s going out for Kiryu, that despite the fact that he’s about to cough up blood he needs Kiryu to have the information he needs to save the clan and Kamurocho. He’s telling Kiryu all this with labored breath because he promised. Kiryu “One-Expression” Kazuma is viably worried as hell, the little nod in the gif kills me because Kiryu needs him to know he’s touched and he’s so grateful. The only reason Kiryu left him was because there was danger elsewhere and he trusts Kaoru enough to take care of him. (Side note: I love Kaoru Sayama, but I still feel like she’s good enough a character on her own and doesn’t need to be a romantic interest for Kiryu. Like it was like oh... she’s Girl so she needs to fall for the Big Strong Male Protag.... If Majima was a cis girl they would have made out in this game, maybe even y1.)

7) Speaking of sacrifices, Yakuza 3, the game where Majima literally joined the Tojo Clan again because Kiryu wanted him to protect Daigo. That’s a huge lifestyle change, Majima.

Yes, this scene is funny because Majima is riding in a Barbie-ass truck like a 15 year old driving on a learner’s permit in a downpour (yet proves he can drive stick seconds later) and thinks he hit Kiryu while he purposely hit everyone else. Look, Majima needs this ok y3 he looks like he’s been crying since kiryu left no one No One is going to hurt Kiryu now

That truck is likely stolen, he’s driving erratically as fast as he can because Kiryu is in danger, how did he even know that Kiryu was in danger is it like some kind of 6th sense... If you didn’t already know, I would take a bullet for Majima’s voice actor; his delivery of “Kiryu-chan! Where are you?!” could have just been like haha oops kiryu did i hit you ;3 but instead it’s this raw cry of genuine panic, like did his actions get kiryu hurt, Majima could not live with himself if he was the reason Kiryu got fatally hurt

8) Ok I’ve hinted at the fact that I have beef with the Hot Mess that is yakuza 5, wasn’t huge on Y4 and Y6 was fine but it was heavily based on the events of Y5. In my head I’ve got an entire fix-it fanfic in which Majima yeets out to Okinawa with Kiryu after Y3 I could write that upon request too ANYWAY here’s another sacrificial majima...

Despite not caring for Y5, THIS SCENE is RAW. Maybe he’s not super “unhinged” in this scene but it’s just so much. Majima, who Kiryu brokedown in his taxi bc he thought he got killed (because Kiryu made him stay in the tojo clan haha we’re out here crying), chooses Kiryu over Saejima. Saejima, Majima’s oath brother, Saejima. We love Saejima, Majima loves Saejima, but 25 years is a long ass time. Majima changed. Saejima changed. For awhile he had Makoto, but then Kiryu was all Majima had for a good chunk of Saejima’s time in prison. This is the man Majima got his eye stabbed out for defending. But the BaD GuYs that arent memorable enough for me to even look up the names of are like look, we want to watch the world burn because we are Bad Guys, so either you are going to fight your brother to the death or we are going to snipe Kiryu’s daughter in the fucking head. Obviously he doesn’t know that Baba is going to betray them, so he has to pick between Saejima and Haruka. He chooses to potentially kill Saejima for Kiryu’s happiness. I’m sure if things didn’t change, Majima would have held back and let Saejima kill him. Majima would rather die than see Kiryu in pain. Majima would rather kill Saejima/let Saejima kill him than let Haruka die. If that’s not a giant declaration of unconditional love and devotion, I don’t know what else to tell you.

Anyway, thanks so much for indulging me and listening to my yakuza opinions if you made it this far you the mvp :’’’’)

#i can't believe i sat down and wrote this monster #thank you so much for the ask #i love talking about majima and i have no one to discuss it with #distinguishedkingdomwolf #ask #kazumaji

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deadlydreamin · 5 years ago

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okay time for me to ramble about how much i love bts and how much those seven boys mean to me (this is actually a whole 2,390 word fucking essay so you can probably ignore this lmao):

for starters i want to talk about their talent. they have worked so hard as trainees and since their 2013 debut, and a lot of people seem to think they’re overrated. they have worked their asses off to get where they are today and they are always setting new records (or the army is for streams and shit) and doing things never done before when it comes to kpop. members like jin, who started off as a bighit actor with no singing/dancing talent - his vocal coach (and anyone who had heard his vocals from 2013 to now) says that instead of improving, that he’s completely transformed after probable years of staying up until 3am practicing. this is also shown with hoseok, who was meant to be a vocalist and main dancer but instead a rapper and main dancer - he worked hard (with the help of yoongi and namjoon) to learn HOW to rap, and again, if you compare cypher pt 1 to cypher pt 4, there’s a massive improvement in his rap. all of the members work so hard and have natural talent and i just- they deserve to be where they are today.

i also want to mention each of the members and what they’ve taught me.

starting with worldwide handsome kim seokjin, he’s taught me that hard work and perseverance will get you where you want to go in life. like i said, his vocals have completely transformed and he can sing notes higher than the sky [see his crystal snow triple high note, it gives me chills everytime], and his vocals have become so stable now while performing and i am proud of him. in his wings album solo, awake, he also expresses how he feels that he isn’t as talented as his other six members, and i can relate to this - i also feel inadequate compared to nearly everyone else around me. the bridge also makes me cry a little bit because it’s just- holy shit man. he’s also like the mum of bts, despite his love of cracking dad jokes whenever he can.

min yoongi, my ultimate bias. he is someone i look up to and aspire to be. yoongi is an incredible producer, lyricist, and rapper, and i could go on and on about his skills. he also works incredibly hard making music and his rapping is no joke, especially in cypher pt 2, 3, and his mixtape are brilliant. more than this, he talks about his struggles with anxiety (social) and depression, and especially his mixtape song the last - a lot of his songs on the mixtape have amazing lyrics, and specific instances of something happening that was incredibly personal to him. despite struggling with his issues, he has kept going, and when i ever get down, i think of how he has learned to love himself, and that i am capable of this too. also i think i relate to him most on a lot of levels - he’s the tired grandpa of the group, but can be silly and fun when he’s with hoseok. he has a hard time showing how much he cares for the others and isn’t as touchy as the other members tend to be, but he still does show he cares in subtle ways and i also can relate to this, because i often have no fucking clue as to how i should express my emotions. he looks like someone that could beat the shit out of you but is actually a big ol’ softie on the inside and he constantly says shit that makes me go “wow, same.” going back to his rap again, yoongi can rap fucking fast, but still can put so much energy behind his verses while doing it - he often builds up, he will go off and rap so fucking fast you question whether this man has lungs, and then go back - all the while you can tell he puts his entire being into his rap, if that makes sense. he also has a wide range - he can go from a kind of harsh, fast rap to a slower, smooth one (compare his verse of cypher pt 2 to seesaw - though seesaw does have his great vocals in it too, the change in his voice is remarkable).

your hope, your angel, j-hope. jung hoseok is an insanely talented dancer and rapper, and like the other members works so hard. his rapping, like i said, has improved over the years and he’s incredible now. his dancing has always been amazing to look at, because unlike jimin, who was also a dancer pre-debut, he did a lot of hip-hop based dance and he can express literally all of his emotions in his movements which i think is incredible. his vocals are also amazing and bighit needs to give him more vocal lines (like in blood, sweat and tears. that shit gets me every time). he is definitely the member who bias wrecks me a lot and i love his sunshine attitude. he’s a ball of joy and an angel (but also his fancam for that no more dream dance break does actually murder me) and his random outbursts and the fact he is also such a meme makes him lovable too. he’s taught me that i should always have a positive attitude to life and that it makes other people feel good too. hoseok has this effect on the other members (i believe it is referred to as ‘mood setter’ or something?), especially yoongi, where the other members may feel down but hoseok just has to be his extra self and they start smiling - like, yoongi will go from being tired and grumpy. place him in a room with hoseok? they’ll be goofs together and it’s the cutest shit (okay this is supposed to only be about hoseok but i do love me some sope content and i’m gonna go on about them here for a little bit longer). yoongi and hoseok are my two ult biases out of the various groups i listen to, because the two together create this chaotic energy and i love it - see the sope me behind the scenes duet bangtan bomb on youtube. those two are so chaotic in that video.

the kim namjoon himself. he’s the leader, rapper, and also produces/writes songs for bts. he’s also fluent in english due to watching friends, yet again he has an iq of 148 so he can do pretty much anything. namjoon is the glue that holds bts together - he does a good job of it, too, with sorting out solutions to disagreements and comforting the members when they need it most. if seokjin is the mum of bts, namjoon is the dad. namjoon has taught me that it is important we learn to love ourselves. his two mixtapes are different, particularly with the overall sound and tone of each mixtape - rm has a very hip-hop/rap sound, and is quite aggressive, while mono. is calming and very relaxed and reflective. i listen to rm when i’m feeling aggressive, and mono. when i need to relax or calm down (it is one of three things that helps me relax before going to sleep and also good to listen to after i’ve had a panic attack or something). i feel a particular connection with moonchild, from mono. the message namjoon portrays throughout the song is something with a calming sound, but also something that offers some encouragement to me when i need it, especially the chorus: “moonchild, you shine, when moon rise, it’s your time/moonchild, don’t cry, when moon rise, it’s your time”

park jimin. his high vocals are incredible and his high notes also give me goosebumps. he has a beautiful dance style that is unlike hoseok’s, as it is more contemporary/ballet focused and his movements reflect this. he has gone through hating his looks and becoming anorexic because of this, and i think that he is doing so much better now (i am talking him not eating a full, proper meal for upwards of ten days). he’s still quite self critical, and hates whenever he makes a small mistake, but i think that he puts so much work into making sure his performance is always perfect that he doesn’t always take care of himself, and that’s what i have learned from jimin - take proper care of yourself, and you should never have to hate your appearance because others develop high expectations for you. again, he works so hard to make sure he has a perfect performance every time and i commend him for this, but also he tends to overwork himself a lot and i’d love for him to take a week off at some point where he can just relax a bit more. he definitely deserves it.

kim taehyung. i think of the whole vocal line, his vocals are my favourite. he has a wide vocal range, going from notes lower than my not achieved grades to notes higher than the sky (stigma and singularity are great examples of this) - i can also actually sing his parts as i have a lower range and when i can sing a few lines with taehyung, i always feel good. like yoongi, tae can change and influence his rapping “voice”, taehyung can do a similar thing - he can be low and smooth with some high notes, and then suddenly he goes raspy and it’s fantastic (again, singularity vs war of hormone). the other three vocalsists can make their voices rough and raspy, but taehyung i think does it especially well, and it suits his incredibly low notes. despite his low voice, he’s actually got the personality and mental age of a child 99% of the time and to see him on and off stage is certainly interesting lmao. i would also like to add that he too is quite the meme (gucci boy) and he looks really good in a bandana/headband and i need more of that content in my daily life. taehyung was also behind the meaning of the army phrase “i purple you”, which means “i love/cherish/support you”, and whenever someone says that to me, i always feel great for the rest of the day. taehyung has taught me that bts do genuinely love us all and that as long as we support them, they will support us, and the shared love between bts and army.

the golden maknae, jeon jungkook. jungkook’s vocals are great, and in all honesty i do miss and go back to bts’ older music purely for the reason of seeing this young lad as one, a fetus, and two, to hear him rap. he’s good at pretty much anything he tries, having a black belt in taekwondo and various other things, and he’s currently working hard to study and learn english so that namjoon isn’t the only fluent english speaker in the group. honestly i find the concept of namjoon helping jungkook with english wholesome and it brings a smile to my face. despite jungkook being thrown into fame at a young age, he’s stayed humble and a happy person and i think it goes to show that fame won’t always screw someone up if they have the right people around them. jungkook had six older boys who practically raised him from when he became a trainee (which he must have been 12-13 when he became a trainee) and they taught him well. i’ve learned that from jungkook - by surrounding myself with the right people (though he wasn’t willingly technically, i’m grateful he did have the boys there for him and i couldn’t see anyone else in the group), i can remain what is most important in life - staying happy and humble.

bts has taught me several lessons in life, and i think that a lot of people dismiss them because they’re korean, because they’re overrated, because their music isn’t in english. what they seem to fail to understand is that emotion transcends languages, and that multilingual people do exist who translate lyrics for those who wouldn’t understand the entire song. even then, if you listen to the truth untold without english (or your native language) lyrics, you can still feel the sad vibes of the song. likewise if you listen to something like anpanman - you will feel the more positive energy and hype that the song conveys without the lyrics. a lot of people don’t want to listen to kpop because they might not understand what the songs are saying right away, but if you take your time and find music with messages you find inspiring and that impact you, it shouldn’t always matter what language the song is sung in, as long as you have a translated version that you can read and understand the basic message of the song. a lot of people wonder why bts has become so popular, and not just for their golden visuals, or their talent, but also the message they spread, especially with their love yourself album series - and it’s easy to see why after that. self love is something that many, many people struggle with and once people understand this message, people like bts because of this. people will listen to music that may not be in a language they speak because once they have seen/read the lyrics to the song in question, if the message stays with them, they will remember the message when they listen to the song, and just the association of the song and the message is enough for people to feel comfort from it. i am like this with magic shop - it is a song made specifically for the army, and about how we can take comfort in them when we are in pain/struggling/etc. the thought of this message enough while listening to the song makes me smile (and cry too lmao).

anyways, i think this is the end of my rambling. goodnight y’all, and if you read this far holy shit, you are a champion.

#bts #ramble #yoongi #hoseok #jin #namjoon #taehyung #jimin #jungkook #suga #seokjin #jhope #rm #v #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan

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wehelddarkness · 6 years ago

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Annual Writing Self-Evaluation 2018

The lovely @1diamondinthesun tagged me to do the annual writing self-evaluation! 2018 wasn’t my strongest year in writing, but let’s do this!

All answers should be about works published in 2018. (Skip any questions you don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can answer them if they want.)

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3:

Eleven (two long fics and nine drabbles)

2. Word count posted for the year: 154.876

3. List of works published this year:

Tell The World We Finally Got It All Right

Belting out sunlight, shimmering love - The Spring Drabbles series

Joy and fresh days of love accompany your hearts - The Summer Drabbles series

The leaves are ready to begin falling again, as I am for you - The Autumn Drabbles series

Make Your Heart Remember Me

4. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

5. Pairings: Harry/Louis

(putting the rest of the questions under the cut because it became a long post lol)

6. Story with the most…

Kudos / Bookmarks: Make Your Heart Remember Me

Comments: Make Your Heart Remember Me & Tell The World We Finally Got It All Right (both have 27 comment threads)

7. Work I’m most proud of (and why): Although MYHRM is my longest fic this year and even though I’ve envisioned it for two years before finally getting a start on it and spending months working on it, I have to say I’m proudest of TTWWFGIAR. This fic is part of a series that I love with all my heart as if it was a child. @regulusarcblack and I have created such a wonderful world for Muggle!Louis and Wizard!Harry that just getting to write more of their story, no matter if it’s something small and silly, and no matter if people don’t even pay attention to it anymore, it will always have a special place in my heart. I’m very proud of how MYHRM turned out and for the amount of attention it got as well, but TTWWFGIAR owns my heart.

8. Work I’m least proud of (and why): It’s not that I’m least proud of them, but I don’t precisely have much emotional connection with the drabbles series. I’m proud of myself for managing to condense three stories the way I did, but as for the stories, they don’t hold a lot of meaning for me.

9. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I have two.

One from TTWWFGIAR:

Louis fixed his still wet fringe over his forehead and closed his eyes for a second before he answered her back. “That’s a funny story, actually,” he laughed again, “I… we came back here.”

“We? Who’s we, Louis? I’m sure it’s not Lottie because she came back yesterday morning and she was just as lost on where you’d be as I was.”

“It’s Harry.” He decided to cut to the chase and just spill it out. As soon as he spoke he opened his eyes again to see Harry walking inside the room, a white towel around his middle just like the one Louis had on himself, and a smirk on his lips.

It took a moment for his mother to speak again. “Harry? Is… he there now? With you?”

“Yeah, he is.” Louis watched as Harry got the sweatpants and jumper he had conjured for himself the day before and started getting dressed.

“And are you going to explain to me how and why he’s there with you?” Jay wasn’t demanding anything and Louis could sense she was feeling more relaxed to know that new piece of information. “I mean, I’m not mad that you’re there with him. I’m just confused, love, that’s what. What happened?”

Harry looked back at Louis when he finished dressing himself and was putting his hair up in a bun. “Is that your mother?” There was a small frown on his brows as he walked closer to where Louis was sat on the bed.

Louis nodded, mouthing a “yeah” and quirking his lips into a smile.

“Do you want the short or long story?” He talked back to his mother as Harry approached him, his eyes not leaving Louis’ as he softly ran his fingers through Louis’ hair.

“I’m gonna go make breakfast while you talk to her, okay?” He moved his hand down to Louis’ face, caressing his cheek with his thumb.

“Okay,” Louis murmured before turning his face a bit to leave a gentle kiss on the inside of Harry’s palm.

He saw Harry’s eyes soften with the gesture and scrunching up his nose as he leaned down to kiss Louis on the cheek before he turned around to leave.

And from MYHRM:

“Dad?”

Harry hears Lily’s voice very low before he can focus his vision on his daughter in front of him. It’s still dark but he can see her sleepy face yawning as she looks at him.

He startles himself a bit, forgetting for a moment where he is. Then, it hits him as he feels an arm around his middle and the press of Louis’ body behind him as they’re lying on the couch. He doesn’t remember when they decided to move from their sitting positions and sleep right there.

Louis’ breath is serene on Harry’s neck and he smiles at himself before he speaks to Lily.

“Yes, petal?”

“I woke up to go to the bathroom and you weren’t in the bedroom with me.” He sees her rubbing her eyes with one hand. “Can I sleep with you and Louis here?”

Harry wants to laugh because Lily could’ve asked him to go back to the bedroom with her, but the fact that she wants to sleep there, on a sofa that barely fits Harry and Louis together, only warms his heart.

He’s too sleepy to say no or to reason that he should really get up and move to the room and also wake up Louis, or even to think about what Lily has made of him and Louis sleeping together like that. So he simply squirms a little closer to Louis to give Lily some space, opening one of his arms so she can lie there and snuggle up to him.

“Goodnight, dad,” she says against his neck and Harry kisses the top of her head as he tries to get comfortable again to sleep.

“Night, petal.” He closes his eyes and just before he can allow himself to rest again, he feels Louis kissing the back of his neck and moving his arm from Harry’s waist to hold not only him, but also Lily in one embrace, intertwining his fingers with Harry’s over Lily’s middle.

This is the happiest he’s been in a long time, and it doesn’t matter that they are all cramped on Louis’ couch or that he and Louis haven’t actually talked about them and their future. But if the future involves more nights like this, with the two people he loves so much, then he truly can’t wish for anything better.

10. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I didn’t get many reviews on my works this year, but I have to say @derekhaleace’s thorough comments on MYHRM really lifted my mood! @doctorrainbows’ comments on TTWWFGIAR too (Rosie I miss you <3)

And I want to add one that was not my favorite, but it gave me a lot of perspective on MYHRM:

“Good story idea but written with too much decriptions and info ended up skipping a lot of the story.”

This comment really made me laugh out loud, not in a bad way though, but because this was exactly how I was feeling and why I struggled so much with that fic. I wasn’t content on how I was writing it because it felt like I was dragging the story. I was writing and writing and the number of words only kept growing and I felt like I wasn’t advancing on the plot. I took this as a constructive criticism and I know some people have validated me saying that for them the story didn’t feel like that, or others saying that the amount of description was just enough... So, yeah, I know it’s matter of like, but it helped me to be more critic about my own writing.

11. A time when writing was really, really hard: This whole past year tbh? first it started with the fact that I got a serious pain on my right hand, I didn’t know if it was tendinitis or what, so I went to the doctor, did physiotherapy for about 2 months? and in the end the end the only thing that helped the pain was arthritis medicine lol so for MONTHS I couldn’t write properly because if I forced my hand, it would be worse, that’s why I kept doing the drabbles challenge, because 100 words each was easier than trying a full fic. Then in august I finally started writing MYHRM, but it took me longer than I planned because of writer’s block and lack of motivation and a lot of self-doubt about my writing, so it wasn’t easy either :/

12. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you: That’s a hard question, but probably Lily from MYHRM. I had already written a kid fic before, but it hadn’t been like this, because this whole fic focused on the interaction of Harry and Louis with Lily and I wasn’t sure how I would write her, and I needed to remind myself not to forget about her haha In the end, I think I did a pretty good job, her personality is so precious and I love her.

13. How did you grow as a writer this year: I think I stopped caring too much about people paying attention to my fics? It was something that always bugged me, expecting more people to read them, finding them in fics recs and so on. Obviously, I still want people to read them, but if only a few people read notice the and enjoy them, that’s what matters, and mostly, that I’m happy with how my fics turned out.

14. How do you hope to grow next year: I hope to keep writing more for myself, keep thinking of stories that I have fun writing and reading and care less about making it to the famous author’s niche in the fandom. Maybe also try to have some of other ideas I’ve had for other fandoms come to life, who knows.

15. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer: As always, @regulusarcblack who has to listen to my ramblings, even if she’s already sick of them lmao but she’s the one I seek when I’m writing and she always helps me put my idea in place. But I also have t give a HUGE shout out to @britpickerhl for sticking with me for another year, for dealing with my dumb mistakes, for having so much patience with gdocs and me, but mainly for helping me improve my writing and being my cheerleader!

16. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: I never know, because I’m not a person with much experiences, so there isn’t much to include in my fics lol I think I reflect some of my personality when I write Harry, but that’s it. And I’m a hopeless romantic and sap and fluff hoe, so that’s what my fics end up looking like hahaha

17. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: Keep writing for yourself and for the people you know who enjoy your work and try not to feel down if you are overlooked by the fandom. If you are happy with your story, that’s what matters. Also, try venturing to other pairings and fandoms, don’t stick to only what you are familiar with (not only regarding writing but also reading), it will give you a broader perspective of how readers and fandoms work.

18. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting or finishing in the new year: I’m writing a wip, which I can’t talk much about yet, but I’m quite excited about it because it’s been incredibly easy for me to write and I’m having so much fun with it, so I hope to kick off 2019 with this one in a good place about my writing!

19. Tag writers whose answers you’d like to read: I don’t know who has already done it lol so I’ll tag @mediawhorefics @emperorstyles @louisalbumnow @hrrytomlinson @hogwartzlou @tofiveohfive if you haven’t and want to do it!

#i read last years evaluation and i have to laugh lmao #anyway #here's to a better 2019 in writing #my writing #writing evaluation

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anais-mitchell · 6 years ago

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Hamilton Angelica Tour in Atlanta, 6/2/18 Evening

So, this was my first time EVER seeing Hamilton and being the extra person I am I had to document all my thoughts so I could remember everything I loved and share it with others! The cast was the full Angelica cast with Edred Utomi as Hamilton and Karli Dinardo as Peggy/Maria. Putting this review under a read more because it is LONG. If anyone has any specific questions about cast members or songs feel free to ask!

We were seated in left orchestra, and while there was no obstructed view there were moments where characters (often Eliza for some reason) were either blocked by someone else or had their back to us.

(I also credit the structure of these rambles to @fourteenacross whose Hamilton reviews are always so well thought out and insightful 💙)

Alexander Hamilton: I nearly passed out when I heard that first note. But this is just such a good introductory number, everyone played their parts very well. The staging is unique and beautiful and when the ensemble all sang together towards the end I felt it in my soul. The “me? I....” part was as striking as expected.

Aaron Burr, Sir: I could tell from the get-go Edred and Nicholas had awesome chemistry as Hamilton and Burr. The bursar lines were really funny. Edred seemed very deflated in his little “ha” after Burr’s advice. The squad introductions were predictably fun and Chris Lee’s dancing is a godsend.

My Shot: I lovedddd Edred in this song. He had so much energy with the squad and was very determined as Hamiton should be!!! Chris’s delivery of “anarchy” will never fail to crack me up, and Chaundre’s coat flip was awesome. Ruben got the crowd so pumped on the “rise up” bit which is one of my FAVORITE parts of the show. But my favorite part of this song was definitely Edred. He had a great little nervous “oh am I talking too loud?” and his “I imagine death” was so vulnerable and convincing. I loved seeing the sisters in the wings, I’m not sure if this was intentional but I almost saw Julia kinda staring longingly at Ham? Foreshadowing? Or me looking too much into things? Who knows?

The Story of Tonight: Edred and Ruben both have lovely singing voices which made this a 10/10 number. The camaraderie felt so real and it’s just such a sweet little number that I adore.

The Schuyler Sisters: All around so much fun. Karli’s Peggy wasn’t as pouty as some of my favorites but she was still very cute and got some laughs. Nicholas had a very funny delivery of “your daddy’s got money.” They all sounded amazing and had awesome energy!! But one of my favorite dumb details in this show is Eliza’s facial expressions during Angelica’s roast and downsides of being pretty far left, Burr was completely blocking Eliza from my frame of vision :(( still, overall great number and Sabrina especially slayed!

Farmer Refuted: Really funny. Edred’s Ham was so frustrated with this tiny guy because “he’s WRONG and I’m RIGHT and I need to SHOW HIM.” Lafayette distracting Burr in the back was a great detail as well.

You’ll Be Back: I thought this was done well, but honestly it might have been my least favorite king song of the show because he didn’t have many funny moments until the back half of the song. He did this growl on “and ever” that was hilarious, but to me the funniest part was the ensemble scurrying out SO QUICKLY when he called them and following his dance moves.

Redcoat transition got some audible gasps.

Right Hand Man: The beginning of this song where the Schuyler sisters and ensemble sing at the front of the stage then quickly run away is just one of my favorite little details of the show. Such captivating and almost haunting choreography. Carvens has AMAZING stage presence and such a powerful voice!! His Washington was so frustrated with everything and very authoritative. The cannon “BOOM”s were so loud in the theater and really brought you into the scene. Nicholas had a very funny delivery of “from a distance.” I loved loved loved the Schuyler sisters harmonizing in the wings as well.

A Winter’s Ball: This was the first of many moments where Nicholas used obviously fake cheeriness to cover up how annoyed Burr was with Hamilton to AMAZING effect. Chris looked so put out when Hamilton pushed him aside lmao. And I totally missed the faces of the guys towards the end bc I was watching Angelica and Eliza like YES THOSE ARE MY GIRLS. Whoops.

Helpless: Ahhh this was just so CUTE. You could actually hear Julia smiling through some lines, her Eliza was so smitten and pleading w Angelica. Edred and Julia had fantastic chemistry and you could so feel the love between them. Julia had a wonderfully “wtf” reaction to “Angelica tried to take a bite of me.” Also, I owe my life to all her riffs. She has such a lovely vibrant voice that reverberated through the theater so well.

Satisfied: This is my favorite song in the whole show and Sabrina did not disappoint. First of all, seeing the “rewind” bit live is SO COOL. I loved that Sabrina genuinely played it as feeling a real emotional and romantic connection to Hamilton but also was so protective of Eliza and knew she couldn’t have him. She was the perfect blend of Angelica’s stoicism and emotion. And oh god THE BRIDGE. That scene where it’s just Angelica, Eliza, and Hamilton on stage and Angelica looks absolutely gutted as she delivers the “at least...” part and Eliza has this huge smile.... ugh just rip my heart out. No fancy riffs in the end but she did it well. Sabrina’s ending was heartbreaking and the staging w Angelica totally alone on stage was :((( I want to hug her. Fun tidbit: when Eliza and Burr are dancing, Burr was doing this SUPER dorky dance I can’t even explain and Eliza had the funniest look on her face.

The Story of Tonight (Reprise): They were all v drunk and silly and I loved it. Literally any scene Lafayette was in, Chris Lee was doing all kinds of weird dance moves that cracked me up. When Laurens was teasing Burr about Theodosia, Mulligan came up behind Burr and did this huge exaggerated thrusting motion that had me DYING. Edred’s “oh shit” was everything. In the final few lines after Hamilton said “what are you waiting for?”, Nicholas did this little almost resentful laugh that was like, “you could never understand.” Such a great dichotomy between these two characters and the actors did it so well.

Wait For It: First of all, Nicholas has an incredible voice and great stage presence and he rocked this number. I was fully captivated. Also, he got some laughs on “I’m keeping the bed warm while her husband is away” and “Theodosia she’s mine” which I’ve never heard laughs on? However, he had a REALLY BAD line flub that made me cringe but he recovered well. In the bridge part, he lowkey started singing the lyrics to The Word Was Wide Enough and then had like 5 seconds of silence before catching it again YIKES. But he made up for it doubly by going SO HARD on the final chorus w amazing emotion and intensity. You so felt Burr’s philosophy and wanted to root for him so badly. Loved it.

Stay Alive: I absolutely loved the little bit with the Bullet just skirting over Hamilton at the beginning. Robbie Nicholson’s Charles Lee was SO ANNOYING. It was perfect. The instrumentals of this number are superb as well. I really enjoyed Eliza and Angelica's presence in the balcony as well, Julia riffed a little bit on the “stay alive”s and it sounded very good. The Lams moment at the end was subtle but definitely there.

Ten Duel Commandments: I just really enjoy the staging of this song and the use of the turntable. I know I keep talking about the minute deliveries of Nicholas’s Burr, but THEY WERE SO GOOD. His “can we agree that duels are dumb and immature?” and “okay so we’re doing this” were just comic gold.

Meet Me Inside: INTENSE. Carvens basically bellowed his first “meet me inside.” Edred was super argumentative and pissed up until “call me son one more time” where he realized he messed up. Carvens “go home” was very firm but not yelled or whispered.

That Would Be Enough: Julia is a star. This number was just all kinds of cute, she was super touchy and physically affectionate with him and they really tugged on my heartstrings. Also she had one of my favorite touches that Solea did where she holds her belly on “and we could be enough” and her final “enoughhhh” had such a nice vibrato. The ending pose warmed my heart. Such a touching little song.

Guns and Ships: I LOVE CHRIS LEE!!!! His rapping was very crisp even with the accent and he had hella energy. His Lafayette was so eager and energetic. Something you don’t see in bootlegs is how COOL the choreography of passing Washington’s letter to Hamilton is. The Hamliza goodbye was very sweet, Edred touched her belly and she looked very sad.

History Has Its Eyes On You: Carvens has such a captivating and strong singing voice. All the harmonies of the ensemble and the ensemble singing together were transcendent.

Yorktown: Hi again I still love Chris Lee. It felt really good to clap for “immigrants, we get the job done.” You could really feel Edred’s emotion on the part about Eliza and his energy throughout the number was amazing. Jennifer Geller was mesmerizing as the bullet and I adored her part with Ruben. Mulligan’s rap WENT HARD Chaundre really brought it. Also I would like to reiterate my love for Carvens his “not yet” was so powerful!!! That emphasis!! I have never felt more alive than when the entire ensemble was singing at the end and all the chants. Another hidden gem of this number: on the second “the world turned upside down,” I could CLEARLY hear Raven Thomas doing a lil riff and it was much appreciated I was kinda sad to not see her as a sister.

What Comes Next?: This was funny.

Dear Theodosia: Nicholas and Edred had gorgeous harmonies together. A lovely and simple number that worked so well with the two of them.

Laurens Interlude: OUCH. Between Hamilton, Laurens, Lafayette, and Mulligan I didn’t even know who to look at. Hamilton looked so gutted, he was gripping the chair and just seemed devastated. Laf and Herc were in the balcony reading the letters and Lafayette gave a little salute and Mulligan just took a drink. Ruben had a very mournful and sad delivery and the stare between him and Edred towards the end was just heart wrenching. They definitely played up Lams in this scene.

Non Stop: I seriously love this number. Edred and Nicholas play so well off of each other. Edred had awesome energy and totally internalized the whole persistence and blind determination of Hamilton in this number. I completely missed his little flourish on “I practically perfected it” tho FOR VALID REASON and that reason was Nicholas delivering the line “he’s just non stop” with the ensemble through gritted teeth and a fake ass smile which was PRICELESS. Nicholas’s “okay” after “you’re a better lawyer than me” was really high pitched and funny. After Hamilton left, Burr like chased him down during “I’ll keep all my plans close to my chest” and it seemed like Burr was just desperately trying to prove to Hamilton that MY WAY OF DOING THINGS IS JUST AS GOOD AS YOURS, one of many excellent little character moments Nicholas threw in bless him. Edred and Sabrina had excellent chemistry in that tiny bit, his long stare at her was painful. “The other 51!!!” was just as emphatic as I could have hoped for. Julia’s “Alexander... AlexANDER” was pissed and I loved it, the final 30 seconds were beautiful. Julia has amazing riffs that sound so clear even when the whole ensemble is singing. Edred’s last “I am not throwing away my shot!!” was so LOUD lmao what an amazing number though it was a perfect Act 1 closer.

What’d I Miss?: After seeing Act 1, I knew Chris’s Jefferson would just be above and beyond, and I was so not disappointed. @ontheupandupagain said something in her tags the other day that he has such a good singing voice in this song AND HE REALLY DOES, his voice is like silk. But the acting was just invariably hilarious. His best scenes as Jefferson were playing off of Chaundre’s Madison though. Chaundre coughed into his hand and then shook Chris’s hand with it and his face was just like, “what the fuck dude?” and I thought it was SO FUNNY. He also did so much crazy stuff with his extra af coat which I loved.

Cabinet Battle #1: This was highkey the funniest number in the show. Chris and Chaundre had so many tiny little flourishes that had me in stitches. Ex. Chris getting ALLL in Edred’s face, Chris dropping the mic and Chaundre trying to pick it up but fanning it like it was too hot, Chaundre being so offended by “getting high with the French” that he literally shoved an ensemble member out of their chair and had to fan himself, them delivering “you don’t have the votes” with dance moves in PERFECT synchronization. Ugh so good. Edred was really good in this too, his mimicking of Jefferson’s dance moves was hilarious and he went v hard in his bit. After Jefferson and Madison left, he was very indignant w Washington like “I’m right!!! Listen to me!!!”

Take a Break: Julia and Ruben were very cute. Philip was tapping his legs like a little kid while playing the piano which was very in character. I thought Ruben’s Philip rap was very good! He was nervous until like the last two lines and then had such a funny victorious run up the stairs. But again, left orchestra probs, Edred was totally blocking my view of Julia beatboxing :( And god bless Edred for having equal amounts of chemistry with both Sabrina and Julia. The “my dearest Angelica” hits you right in the heart and Sabrina was almost fearfully hopeful but then dismissed it right away. Julia and Sabrina had awesome harmonies, and the bit where Angelica tried to go after him and Eliza stops her will never not hurt me.

Say No To This: Edred was very actively narrating to the audience in the beginning so you could definitely tell everything Maria did was through his retelling. His first “show me how to say no to this” got laughs which was kinda weird. One part of his performance that was so unique was that his “fuuuuu-” was very exasperated and funny more than downright shocked and horrified. Karli definitely played Maria as more of a victim too, she looked so panicked during the middle bit. Her “stay” note was AWESOME. One bit that tugged at the heartstrings was after James Reynolds clipped his whip thing, she stared at Hamilton very longingly and it almost seemed like a cry for help. I really liked the way all of them did this number.

The Room Where It Happens: Okay so this was definitely the best performance of the whole show. Hands down. Nicholas ran the gamut of Burr’s emotions from frustration to anger to horror to unbridled ambition. I can’t even really comment on Chris, Chaundre, or Edred because of how captivating Nicholas was. One touch I really liked was when Jefferson and Madison were planning for the meeting, Burr was aggressively pointing at them to the audience like “look at them!!! look how corrupt they are!!!” But yeah he tore that ending up on Leslie and Josh levels. There was huge applause MIDWAY THROUGH THE ENDING. He went so so so hard, literally slamming on the floor in just an unhinged state of finally letting go of his calculated demeanor. Such a huge shift for Burr and a showstopper in every sense of the word. Ugh I have chills just remembering it.

Schuyler Defeated: “They don’t like you” was delivered to great effect. Burr was almost nagging Hamilton towards the end as Hamilton walked away. These two just really had endlessly great chemistry.

Cabinet Battle #2: Very good all around. They were both super frustrated, and all the typical funny lines were very funny. I think Edred could have gone a just a little bit harder on “you must be out of your goDDAMN MIND” but hey that’s a very minute complaint. Chris got all up in his face for “Daddy’s calling.”

Washington On Your Side: Jefferson’s “wtf” face when Burr shows up will never not amuse me. And Chaundre’s “which I wrote!” was so indignant. They were all very calculating through the whole number and the crescendo of the song pumped me up so hard. 11/10 guys.

One Last Time: This was my favorite number Carvens did by far. His Washington was very desperate to have let a good impact on his country but in a very different way than Hamilton is. Edred’s reactions to all the different bits, especially “Jefferson started it,” were great. And I’d be lying if I said the ending didn’t draw some tears to my eyes, Carvens has such a powerful voice and this song is so cathartic.

I Know Him: I enjoyed it. The lines that are usually funny were funny.

The Adams Administration: Nicholas almost broke because of the king bouncing, but he kept it together. The “sit down” bit was predictably very funny. i loved how conniving Jefferson, Burr, and Madison were at the end, especially how Chris said “let’s let him know, what we know.”

We Know: Hamilton was kinda dismissive when he first said “Secretary Jefferson” but slowly realized something was up by “what is this?” He was very frantic to discredit their accusations. Chris’s “my God” was so disgusted and he was on such a high horse it was HILARIOUS. It totally reminded me of Gina Linetti high horsing Amy in the Season 1 B99 Thanksgiving episode, it was that good. Also, Eliza and Philip in the balcony was a subtle but heartbreaking touch.

Hurricane: I would literally die for the staging, lighting, and choreography of this song. Some of the light changes just hit you straight in the heart and all the choreography with the ensemble holding the chairs is so good. As for the actual performance, I think Edred was the perfect balance between Lin’s quieter emotions and Michael’s almost rage like intense emotions. He got kinda choked up at the part about his mother which ouch. Edred just had a lovely voice too which really shone through in this song.

The Reynolds Pamphlet: This song is EXPLOSIVE live. Chris was so thrilled and Edred was so defensive. Philip was so upset seeing the pamphlet. And oh god, when Angelica showed up Hamilton was so relieved but she yanked away so quickly and she genuinely seemed pained to do so. She was so so hurt and angry, she almost looked on the verge of tears because she had sacrificed so much for him and Eliza and he just threw it away. She almost spit out “god I hope you’re satisfied” into his face and raised a finger in his face, it looked like she could hit him. Rather than staying in his face like Renee did, Sabrina was so angry she left right away. And the dancing in the middle of the stage was definitely the funniest thing the king did.

Burn: UGHHHHH MY HEART. First of all, Julia’s voice is just beautiful on its own. But she really brought the emotion in this. She was so devastated and betrayed, and the fact that she played Eliza as so utterly in love with Hamilton before just really fucked me up. She barely choked out the “I’m” after the long pause. Her ending was super angry though but it was all anger coming from real sadness and hurt. After her final line, she did this little choked sob that just put the nail in my coffin of love for Eliza. This whole song I was just fully engrossed and probably had my mouth just hanging wide open.

Blow Us All Away: I whispered “oh no” to my dad at the beginning of this. Ruben’s Philip was so confident and idealistic and the father/son scene just made you want to scream at Hamilton. Little observation, Eacker’s cape is so swooshy and the actor was playing around with it so much. But yeah this Eacker seemed so much older than Ruben’s Philip and there was a definite power imbalance. Ruben seemed really nervous right before :( and oh god, when he shot on seven my heart just dropped to my stomach because WHY IS THIS HAPPENING. The whole theater gasped.

Stay Alive (Reprise): :(((( Edred’s Hamilton was so panicked and desperate. You could tell he really internalized it when Philip said “I did exactly what you said Pop” and was horrified that this was partially his fault. And Julia just ran out with tears already in her eyes and it was just over for me. She was so motherly and you could tell this was just her worst fear of something bad happening to her son. Ruben didn’t expressly play it like he was dying but he definitely seemed terrified and in pain and didn’t have the Musical Theatre Death Smile which thank god. You could hear a pin drop when the heartbeat stopped, and Julia did a version of the scream that was more like a sob but wow I was in pain. And she yanked that hand away from Hamilton so quickly. It was like she felt he didn’t deserve to mourn with her.

It’s Quiet Uptown: My god, what an intimate and beautiful piece of theatre. I cried which was a given. But really, between Hamilton, Angelica, Eliza, and the ensemble, the grief is so raw and powerful. There are some staging bits I never noticed before, like the ensemble kneeling and doing the sign of the cross during the lines about church. Edred was SO CHOKED UP during some lines. You could just feel how much regret he felt and how he realized how much he’s messed up everything. His delivery of “and you would smile, and that would be enough” was particularly gut wrenching. Sabrina’s voice was beautiful and so sympathetic in this song too which just added to all the poignancy. And then UGH. When Julia’s Eliza took his hand she was just so tired and relieved and devastated. Edred was audibly sobbing (so was I.) This scene is just the perfect encapsulation of the unconditional love Hamilton and Eliza had for each other and Edred and Julia’s performance was just so :(((

The Election of 1800: Chris Lee dramatically saying “Can we get back to politics?” and Chaundre Hall-Broomfield saying “Please?” through tears is really just the best way to get an audience full of crying people to laugh. Burr was SO FAKE during this song I loved it. His reactions to the voters was priceless, and when he greeted Hamilton with “Alexander!” he had such a fake ass smile and exclamation with his arms spread out for a hug; it was GOLDEN. Edred was so emphatic when he said “Burr has none” and Nicholas seemed so personally betrayed. And of course, the ending was flawless. Burr was trying so hard to go back into his cheery public persona but Jefferson just wanted nothing to do with him.

Your Obedient Servant: Burr was LIVID at the beginning of this song. Nicholas had such a great buildup to his anger. The back and forth between the two was just so good through the whole song and they hit the comedic bits right on. But the actual challenge part was very “shit’s about to go down.”

Best of Wives, Best of Women: They were such a good Hamliza pair :( so soft, so in love, so pure.

The World Was Wide Enough: Both Nicholas and Edred were just on their A-game for this song. It seemed like Nicholas, for the first half, was really trying to justify to the audience that he was doing the right thing and that Hamilton was a bad person who deserved this. His “this man will not make an orphan of my daughter” was heart wrenching. And props to Jennifer Geller for being a fantastic Bullet, especially in this song. Edred’s monologue was so mesmerizing; every word was delivered with purpose and you really got the vibe that he just wanted more time. And I truly think that “rise up, Eliza!” and then “my love, take your time; I’ll see you on the other side” is one of the most emotionally impactful moments in the whole show. My heart just stopped. My heart also stopped on the shot because woww ouch. You could instantly feel Burr’s regret and just overall thought of “what did I just do?” Angelica and Eliza looked so sad when they came out. The final bit, with Burr alone in the middle of the stage and Hamilton looking down on him from the balcony, and then the light going out on Hamilton is just genius direction. Nicholas had a really dramatic pause on “for Hamilton and.... me.”

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: The instrumentals of this song alone make me tear up. Sabrina was so fierce coming out for her part and I loved it. And then was Julia came out as Eliza I was just a mess. “I live another 50 years” was delivered particularly well. She was so frantic trying to ensure she had done everything, and then there was that moment of beautiful clarity with the orphanage. God bless Julia K. Harriman and God bless Eliza Hamilton. The ending with Hamilton and Eliza was absolutely breathtaking and the perfect final moment of their love, and Julia’s gasp was everything.

Edred Utomi as Hamilton: I will admit, I was a little bummed to be missing Austin Scott as I’ve heard great things about him. But I was so impressed by Edred! He had killer chemistry with Julia, Sabrina, Nicholas, Ruben, Chris, Carvens, Karli and basically everyone with whom he interacted. His singing and rapping voices were both equally good. I did prefer his Act 2 to his Act 1 though as I think he was more comfortable and really thrived in some of the more emotional numbers i.e. It’s Quiet Uptown in which he absolutely destroyed me. I really have no complaints, he did everything a great Hamilton needs to do and was such a nice guy at stage door. I hope he gets a lot more opportunities to go on in the future and maybe even a principal role in a company.

Julia K. Harriman as Eliza: I was so excited to see Julia as she was amazing in First Burn and the audios I’ve heard of her. Her journey as Eliza was so heartbreaking because she was genuinely so in love with Hamilton and was so betrayed and sad by the events of Act 2 :( she was a very good mix of an angry Eliza and a sad Eliza but she conveyed her inner strength so well. I can’t even pick a favorite number for her because she wowed me in every song she sang. Plus, her voice is just out of this world and I would love to hear her do some recording in the future.

Nicholas Christopher as Burr: If you couldn’t tell from my review, his Burr was one of the best parts of the show. This role suits him perfectly and he was able really make you sympathize with Burr. It’s such a complex role to play and he did it with aplomb; he had a very distinct difference between Burr’s almost corny fake public persona and his inner ambition and drive. His final verse of Wait for It and his entire Room were religious experiences, plus he was so emotionally impactful in The World Was Wide Enough. I also loved that his Burr was so funny! Burr is usually not a comedic role but he had a much more subtle humor than the characters who are explicitly played for laughs and he had me cracking up. He had so many little moments of characterization that made the payoff in the end that much more worth it. He is now right up there with my all time favorite Burrs and I would kill to see him again.

Sabrina Sloan as Angelica: I knew of Sabrina before she was cast because of her run as Vanessa in ITH, and I was super excited as she was a Vanessa I really enjoyed. She so did not disappoint. I feel like the role of Angelica is being turned into a mostly “sassy” role and sassy can sometimes cross into bitchy or straight up unlikable, but Sabrina really made you feel all of Angelica’s emotions and that is exactly the kind of actress that my favorite character deserves. I obviously loved her in Satisfied because that song is the very thesis of Angelica as a character, but she was also so good in Reynolds Pamphlet and Take a Break. In the gran scheme of the play, Angelica does not get that much to do despite being one of the most well written and complex characters imo, but Sabrina forced you to be so invested in Angelica and feel her every feeling. I adored her.

Carvens Lissaint as Washington: Superb. For those of you who don’t know, Carvens used to tour as a poet before musical theatre and that honestly helped his performance so much. He knew exactly what words to emphasize to punch you right in the gut; his “not yet” was seriously so good how does one make two words so powerful. He has all the gravitas of CJack and has a very gospel-esque voice that he put to WORK in One Last Time. I was so thrilled to see him in this role and I can only wonder what his Burr and Laf/Jeff were like on Broadway.

Chris Lee as Lafayette/Jefferson: THE ACTUAL STAR OF THE SHOW. Listen I am a person who gets very annoyed by the emphasis of Jefferson as a character over the females and Burr in the fandom but god Chris Lee is a revelation I am so sad he is leaving but infinitely glad I was able to see him. Everything he did was so funny. In Act 1, if you looked in the background of any scene he was doing these little body roll dance moves and in Act 2 he just had this super jazzy and unbothered swagger when he walked which were both amazing. His singing is also super underrated as this is not a singing heavy part but he riffed all over the place in What’d I Miss and Story of Tonight. All of his little flourishes in the Cabinet Battles were just golden and he played so well off of Chaundre and Edred. Definitely my favorite Laf/Jeff so far.

Rubén J. Carbajal as Laurens/Philip: He has a man bun now! I enjoyed him more than I thought I would. I wasn’t particularly wowed by him in the bootleg but seeing him live was different. This role is really small but I think it can be one of the best parts of the show when really done well, and while I don’t think Ruben reached that level, he definitely didn’t fall into some of the tropes I really dislike for that character like the smiley death scene or the complete lack of chemistry between Laurens and Hamilton. (Seriously, the boy is 19 and dying I will never understand why some performers insist on making it seem like he’s all mature about it Philip should be TERRIFIED it irks me.)

Chaundre Hall-Broomfield as Mulligan/Madison: I thought he was awesome. His Mulligan was very brash and booming like Oak’s which I liked, and he went really hard during the Yorktown rap. His Madison was FANTASTIC against Chris’s Jefferson. He was such a sweet guy at the stage door too.

Karli Dinardo as Peggy/Maria: She was announced as an understudy right before the show started and she was good! She didn’t really wow me but it’s such a small part I was satisfied with what she did. I preferred her Maria to her Peggy because she was able to add some emotional nuance to the character. She has a really nice voice so that helped. It would have been cool to see Isa but I’m not disappointed, I thought Karli’s performance was super well done.

Peter Matthew Smith as King George III: Good! All King George’s blend together for me honestly but he was funny.

Ensemble: Every moment where the entire company sang together was heavenly and filled the theater so perfectly. The choreography of this whole show is just so great and they were all amazing dancers and added so much to every scene they were in. Appreciate ensemble 2kforever. Jennifer Geller was an excellent bullet and really drew your eye in every scene. Like I said before, Raven’s voice really stood out in some parts which I loved.

Stagedoor: It was kinda awkward because nobody really cheered or anything when the cast came out? But everyone was really nice. Julia, Chaundre, Karli, Edred, and Robbie Nicholson all came out and were super nice and took pictures. I was next to a little girl and they were all so sweet to her. Chaundre passed out flyers for their BCEFA event on Monday too which was cool. When Edred came out someone next to me said they cried and Edred was like “me too!” lol. But there was one girl next to me who was pushing and kept calling the male cast members “dad” and asking when Chris would come out which ugh. We left after Edred bc our ride was there and I think Chris came out after him bc I could hear cheering down the street rip.

If you’ve made it this far thanks for reading my rambles, I enjoyed it so much and couldn’t ask for a better first Hamilton cast! It went above my sky-high expectations and I cannot wait until I get another chance to see it, whenever in the future that may be.

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saeranlover · 6 years ago

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Here’s the first part of the backstory of one of my main OC’s (Ciel’s) grandmother... I’m literally just rambling and going with the flow lmao-

“You don’t get it, do you?! Those things are biologically inclined to kill, and attack, and cause suffering! They can’t do good, Alessia!”

“You’re a stubborn little suck-up, Sol! Some angels are annoying – like you – so surely that means that some demons can be good too!” With a slight huff, the dark haired woman turned her back, and tapped her foot. “Stop being so judgemental!”

It was a clear understatement to say that the duo were causing a scene in the town centre, with the noise of the fountain not even being enough to drown out the bickering. The fight had been started simply by Sol, the man of the two, mentioning how his parents had imprisoned a demon for simply entering the heavens, despite them insisting it was an accident. Sol had made a slight remark that it was ‘a good riddance’, and had set Alessia off in a fit of anger.

However, at the point which the fight had reached… It seemed that neither angel was going to get their point through to the other.

Alessia’s shoulders dropped when she heard her friend muttering to himself as he briskly walked away, leaving the onlookers giving her intense stares from all directions. Needless to say, she didn’t stick around for much longer. She had to find a demon who could prove her point… prove that not all demons could be given the brand of a nuisance.

Luckily for her, she had been doing her research… There was a popular gathering place for demons in the human world – at first glance, it was merely just an inn of sorts… But everyone who worked there was a demon.

She had to admit, she liked the concept.

Once she had calmed herself down and pulled herself together, Alessia left the heavens without saying a word to anyone… She didn’t want anyone disturbing her after all.

It didn’t take her long to locate the place where the demons were all gathering, seeming as most humans she could see quite clearly avoided the place, as well as because of the dark aura which she could pick up from the building. It did scare her somewhat, but she was not in the mood to return home upset that she couldn’t even approach a demon, let alone say that she feared them.

Inside, the heavy feeling on her chest… subsided, for some reason. Everyone inside was laughing and smiling, enjoying their time. To Alessia, it seemed as though despite them being known to angels as beings which only knew suffering as a form of entertainment… They were also inclined to other emotions. She couldn’t wait to rub that in Sol’s face-!

“… Hey. You. Stranger. What made you walk into this place, rather than the other inn down the street? People prefer that other inn.” Alessia flinched when somebody tapped at her shoulder and spoke, so she quickly turned around to be met by a man who was tall just like her, but a slight bit shorter… Definitely taller than everyone else there though. “Hey, answer me.” He ran his hand through his hair, which was a pale green colour and just as odd as some of the other colours around, before raising his eyebrow.

She clenched her fists slightly, before taking a deep breath. “This is the place… where demons meet, correct?”

The entire building fell silent, as though she had said something which she shouldn’t have.

For a few moments, the person who had spoken to her looked curious, before a smirk grew on his face. “And if I’m guessing correctly, based on the shitty clothes you’re wearing… You’re an angel, right?” When Alessia bit her lip, the man laughed. “Well, it seems that you’ve got the right place, little angel… The thing is, we don’t let your kind in here. You’ve all imprisoned, traumatised, and even killed our friends, our families, and all those dear to us… And sweetie, you chose the wrong day to even try to set foot here…”

“Well I came here to prove to the others that you’re all not the maniacs they think that you are-!” The frustration on Alessia’s face seemed to be nothing but entertaining to the demon as he placed his arm over her shoulders. “I just want to talk-!”

“Relax, we’re not going to hurt you… However… We can’t be having any other angels come to this place, so you’re not going to be returning to your home.” He then laughed as she tried to shove him away unsuccessfully. “And as I said before – you chose the wrong day to come here. You see… My name is Dusk Lovell. I am the newly crowned king of Hell.”

All colour drained from Alessia’s face then. She’d heard horror stories about him!

“As king of Hell… I can punish you for your crime of trespassing onto demon territory, even if it’s for such a sweet little reason of trying to prove that we’re not as bad as we’re made out to be. And so...” By this point, she was both angry and scared, made worse by the fact that some demons were cheering on their king, others were hissing at her, and some even seemed to be intensely staring at her. Before she could try to make a final attempt to back away from Dusk, her leg turned horribly cold and she realised that he had wrapped his tail around her ankle. “I sentence you to, hmm… How does life imprisonment in my castle as my entertainment sound? I quite like the thought of it, you’ve brought me much more fun over these few minutes than the fallen angels sent to Hell by your silly head angels have over many years...”

------------------------

“Son, you’ve not been speaking to that friend of yours recently… Normally the two of you are attached to each others’ side! What has happened to her? And what about that marriage proposal you wanted to do?” In the heavens, Sol had been rather silent since his argument with Alessia. His parents had been highly concerned for him, as he had been acting completely out of character since that day. He had planned to ask for her to be his lover the time where he had seen her last, but their argument had sent things completely off-track.

“… I don’t know. I haven’t seen or heard from her since we argued. Her family says that she hasn’t been home since that day too.”

“But Sol, that would mean she has been missing for a whole week!”

Sol remained silent, before he leaned against the window he was stood by, and gazed outside. He hoped that she would appear in the garden like she usually would do – there was a tree which the two of them had planted a few weeks earlier which she loved to check up on, to make sure that it would thrive. Eventually though, he got distracted by the flow of the stream until his eyes closed, and he fell into a light sleep.

Unfortunately, Sol was woke up by the sound of a loud knock on the door, followed by his parents talking. He was curious, so he went to the stairs and slowly made his way down until he could overhear the conversation which was being held.

“Y- Yes, this letter was directed to both of you… A- And it a- appears to have been sent by the demon royal family...”

“What?! Pass it here, quickly!”

“Let me see it too, dear...”

There was a slight silence for about a minute, before there was the sound of a frustrated shout. “The demons have what?! That angel is our son’s closest friend! And they’re holding her as a prisoner until we release all of our demon prisoners! They believe that one angel life is enough to free hundreds of their disgusting kind?!”

Sol couldn’t quite believe what he had just overheard, so he slowly emerged in the room where his parents were talking, his entire body visibly shaking.

“Mother… Father… Did you just say… That Alessia is being held prisoner by d- demons…?”

--------------------

Alessia had no idea how long she had been stuck inside this one small room. All that she could remember was struggling to get away from Dusk, much to the delight of the other demons… Then everything went black, and she woke up on the bed by the barred window of the room.

Not once had she seen any living soul from inside the room, she had only heard the occasional noise of executions outside… Demons were more disgusting than she had been led to believe…

One thing was currently scaring her more than anything though – she could feel everything about her which made her an angel diminishing. Her powers of healing were weakening, as she couldn’t even deal with the bruises which were covering her leg from when Dusk’s tail had grabbed hold of her. Her wings, on the odd occasion where she could get them to appear, were growing weaker and were constantly in pain. The only thing which relieved her was that she wasn’t stuck there as a fallen angel – that meant that her wings wouldn’t begin to turn all red and dark, and also that if she ever could, she would be able to leave Hell without any consequences.

Suddenly, as she sighed quietly, the door opened. Fear filled her body, and from the corner of her eyes, she could see that it wasn’t just any demon who had entered… “I’m not speaking to you, Dusk.”

“Well, isn’t it a shame that I’m talking to you, Alessia? Yes, that’s right… I’ve found out your name. I sent a little message to the big-shots in your silly Heavens… And they replied in a rather hostile way. So, I think that you’re definitely going to be staying here now. And to think, if they would have released the demon prisoners, I would have let you leave...” He approached her as she silently stared at the floor, before he threw a piece of paper at her face. “Read it. You can see just how ‘kind’ and ‘pure’ your leaders are.”

As much as she didn’t want to believe it was a real letter, Alessia recognised the handwriting which was on the paper… That was definitely the writing of Sol’s mother – one of the two head angels. As well as that, there was all of the official seals on the paper… It made her want to cry as she picked it up, and looked at what was there.

‘To the so-called ‘king’ of the demons,

How DARE you capture one of our kind, when you and your animals are constantly torturing us and the humans. The lady which you are holding as your unlawful prisoner is the love interest of my son, the next in line to become head angel. As such, we demand her release immediately, or there shall be consequences. All demons being held within the heavens have been sentenced to death already – you would not wish for worse to happen, would you?’

Alessia tensed up reading the letter, before she creased it up in her hand before dropping it onto the ground. She knew that Sol’s parents were strongly anti-demon, but actually saying that an angel’s life was worth more… it almost disgusted her. Angels and demons existed to create a balance in the human world – Angels to protect and guide the humans, demons to invoke the negativity in their lives to provide growing experiences to make the humans stronger…

“… This is exactly why I wanted to prove to them that demons aren’t all bad! Just as some angels are bad, some demons can be good...” Tears were pouring down Alessia’s face by then, before Dusk kneeled down in front of her and took hold of her chin so that she would look at him.

“Well, sweetie… I have a proposal. I will grant you more freedoms as my prisoner, as long as you assist me in a little task which I have to show those idiots that demons can’t be bad… You get what you wanted, and more freedom during your life imprisonment… And I get those fools off my back, even if it’s for a short while… We struggle greatly as a race when angels are breathing down our necks constantly.” Dusk then held out his other hand, a devious smile on his face.

Much to his surprise… Alessia took hold of his hand and nodded.

“… They’re being rather shocking. I want them to stop… I’ll help you. Just… Don’t call me ‘sweetie’. Please.”

#mari's ocs

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sitaaronkepaar · 7 years ago

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Daily Rikara Ramblings

Oh god, I know today's episode will give me high-key michmichis. Pls give me strength

Aww, Gauri's so cute in the precap. Also, it's kinda giving me English Vinglish teas.

Hain, why is Annika crying? Also, she's looking pwetty!! ♥️

Uff, yeh Oberoi's raaz banane ki factory hai. Har din naye naye raaz manufacture karte hai. Ffwding 🙄🙄🙄

God, why did you make gauri so QUYT!!! Like I want to hate this track, but Gauri's being so cute in it 😫😫😫

Thank god, crying, insecure Gauri is bye bye though. I was getting major michmichis looking at her. Back to my beautiful, confident, chirpy bulbul. That's the spirit kid. ♥️

Lol, iss uncle ki toh genuine problem hai. Upar se putting so much effort to learn the language of his bahu instead of forcing her to learn Marathi/Hindi. Progressive uncle is progressive! Go uncle!!!! ��👴👴

Ohh, hot guy makes entry! Bet this is their professor. 😏

On a closer look, he's really not (hot)😔

But I'm so looking fwd to him making Omkara jel. Fuckin yissss😊😊😊😊😊

Ugh, this guy is really nice you guys!! Gauri should run away with him. 🤣🤣🤣

Also, I was so right about English Vinglish teas. Harneet ne us movie ko bhi nahi choda 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Okay, I never watched IB, and I mostly skip Shivaay's scenes but why the fuck does he hold his phone like a retard? Idgi. 😕😕😕

Fwd

Awww, man, I live for Omkara worrying about Gauri. He's so cute. 😭😭😭

Lol, he's hiding, pretending he's busy!! I can't, I can't. 😂😂😂😂

Gosh, this scene is so funny. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

"Matlab tumne mujhe dekha hi nahi"

Ab woh tumhe nahi kisi aur ko hi dekhegi Om. Shoulda hit that when ya had the chance boiii 😏😏😏😏

Lol, daadi pooch rahi thi. Like you don't care. Such a typical guy!! 😂

"Waise maine bhi..........nahi khaya tha"

Fuck wtf. He waited for her and usne suna bhi nahi, i can't. Poor Omkie. 😢😢😢 Now you know what Gauri's been feeling like all these months, eh 😼😼

Yaar, someone feed this boy. He didn't eat waiting for gauri, and i can't take his dejected face. 😖😖😖

Ffwding again, and Annika is crying but happy? I guess she read his letter? Thank god their confession is over. I hope they don't drag rikara's love confession(if it ever happens, that is). I want it to be something natural and in the moment. Like heart bursting so full of love they can't keep it inside, ya feel me?

Oh, no saahil ki custody naam ki hai. So sweet Shivaay. ♥️

Why am i lowkey interested in this? 🤔 Someday I'm gonna rewatch IB and hope i get invested in shivika. Honestly, it will probably be worth it. My poor heart can't take the stress Rikara give me daily. 😢😢😢

Aww, man shivika are so cute. My heart 😍😍😍😍

SvetVi nonsense. Wake me up when they team up against Tej again. Jhavi is at least tolerable when she's in team Svetlana, not against her.

Ffwding

Baki sab toh theek hai but kisi ne mere heere bete Om ko khana khilaya ya nahi? 😿😿😿

Hain, Bariely se parcel? Meaning Gauri's mom still remembers she's alive? Wow wow wow. 👏👏👏👏

Lo, aagayi Rikara ki cupid no 2.

"apne husbandS ko bhi bina bataye chali gayi"

Lmaoooo, I can't stop laughing at this. 😂😂😂😂 Koi pinky aunty ko bhi english classes me enroll kara do yaar. I can't. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

But i love how she tries to fuel their insecurities ek ek karke and it always fucking backfires. 🤣🤣🤣

Sigh, Omkareshwar stop being so naice to her! 😒😒😒

Fuck that horrible, no good flashback is back 😿😿😿😿😿

Idgi, gauri can pronounce words like "intelligent" with no problem, but she can't say "go" 🤔🤔🤔🤔

Lol barish ho gayi. Omkara pakka aag babula ho raha hoga waiting for gauri. Gosh, kitna forgranted leta hai ye banda gauri ko. Why does she need to be infront of him 24/7 hmmm. 🤔🙄🙄

This group scene is bakwas. But I've finally started finding OpenHairKara hot af. 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤Like now i don't want him to tie his hair at all. 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

Oh god, this teacher dude is such a bad actor.

"I'm allergic to eggs" and down he falls. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Gauri ki kismet me bas faint hone wale ladke hi likhe hain 😥😥😥😥😥

I should be worried for him but i can't take his bad acting lmao. It looks fucking hilarious. 😂😂😂😂

This angrez is a doctor. How convenient lmao.

Maybe Gauri should think about running away with this angrez doctor. I'm sure staying with nazuk omkara has given her ptsd for life. Maybe this angrez can help treat it. 😏😏😏

Aee le. Dadi ne ek aur naya function paida kar diya. Normal logo wale function kyu celebrate nahi karte yeh log? These Oberois be so extra i swear. 🙄🙄🙄

How are they celebrating this function without Gauri? Matlab Gauri koi ahemiyat bhi hai kuch ghar me ya nahin? 😑😑😑😑

Even Rudy's like, "not another silly game, ughhh" 😂😂😂

He's still traumatised by lovakshri!! Rofl 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Don't think I didn't notice Omkara calling Gauri in the background. 😏😏😏😏

Aaj kuch zyada hi miss kar raha hai. 😃😃😃

Lol, is it because it's a team game and Omkara's like, "hamari team sahi hai" 😁😁😁

Ahhhhh, my heart, Omkara missing Gauri, looking for Gauri, calling Gauri, all tadaping and shit is just making me want to give him a hug! What a qt puppy ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Ofc, pinky doesn't want to play this game. She only likes to play real life games which ruin people's lives 😒😒😒😒

Oh god pinky is so fuckin annoying. Like I legit want to punch the bitch. 😤😤😤😤

I want to ffwd this nonsense, but I don't want to miss Omkara pining for dear wife in the bg lol. 😍😍😍😍

Man, he's sitting all akela and my dil is feeling so bad for him. 😩😩😩

Lol, shakti, cactus kaha se layega ab 😂

Why is everyone in the family trying to force RuVya. Like do they even realise she was just there on duty? Is poore kamre me bas chubby k paas hi dimaag hai.

Fuck you rudy, stop being a dick to chubby, man! He's so nice, and you're being an ass. 😾😾😾

FINALLY GAURI, THANK GOD.♥️♥️♥️♥️ Tumhare bina meri bhi Omkara jaise halat ho rahi thi 😌😌😌

Lol, Svetlana's pushing tej on the bed like she's getting ready to fuck him 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Lukwarm sada nahi gunguna pani hota hai. But yay, SmartRi is back ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Matlab sabse hawa ladki ko chest pump karne k liye bola. I know Gauri's powerful and all, but couldn't he have asked someone with a little more dum? Lol

"sorry guys, he's no more"

Hain, is this a test? Itni jaldi kaise mar gaya? Must be a test? But on second day? Oh fuck it. Main kyu sir khapa rahi hu 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Ffwding bhudhon ka ishq 🙄

"Boom, hahahahhaha"

Knew this was a stupidass test. Lameness ki hadd. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Agar main gauri hoti, I'd have punched the guy!

Or maybe not,

"tum intelligent ho gauri"

Aww, look at bby. That exhibition fiasco really hurt her self esteem. She's the same gauri who'd said just bc i don't know english doesn't mean I'm stupid and today she thought she wasn't intelligent. I'm just glad this guy actually helped her raise it, and made her believe in herself again unlike some other guy who barsaoed his gussa on her for no damn reason 😒😒😒

OMG WHAT A FEELS WALA PRECAP!!! CAN'T WAIT 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

#rikara #omkara singh oberoi #gauri kumari sharma #ishqbaaz #live blogging

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hyotaem · 7 years ago

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why kim kibum is a RAVENCLAW

first of all kim kibum’s ugly ass can fight me for shoving his “““““““““““slytherin””””””””””” self in my face with all his stupid instagram posts this is the FIRST time i haven’t been excited about him posting. now let’s be real here the sorting hat must’ve been smoking some crack or something if it put kibum in slytherin………. he’s CLEARLY A RAVENCLAW and i have PROOF. SO MUCH proof that i’m about to write six pages of this shit!!!! ten virtual bucks and all of miss sha’s love to you if you actually read all of my anger induced rambling :)

okay!! now let’s get rowling’s awfully one dimensional and un-fleshed-out definition of what a ravenclaw is out of the way : the smart ones. that’s it. “wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure” blah blah all of that. basically the way she set it up in the (amazing) shitshow that was the harry potter books, most people interpreted it as “oh you do well in academics and stuff you get straight as and all that cool jazz so you must be a ravenclaw!” EXCEPT. getting good grades isn’t the only type of intelligence you can have and this especially applies to kibum because although i don’t know how well he did in school i do know that he has immense creative intelligence that screams ravenclaw AND NOT FUCKING SLYTHERIN GOD DAMN IT. also point number two!! if that was the only thing that made you a ravenclaw then hermione wouldn’t be a goddamn gryffindor. if you think back to book one (for those of you that have forgotten already, that’s the sorcerer’s stone or the philosopher’s stone depending on where you came from - a completely unnecessary change that still baffles me because despite the fact that americans are dumb i don’t think we’re THAT dumb that we wouldn’t know what a philosopher is but i digress) there’s that scene while they’re in room with the logic test with the poison and she says something along the lines of “yeah logic and cleverness is great and all but bravery and friendship is where it’s at harry!! now go beat voldemort’s ass!” (keep in mind i don’t have the books in front of me right now lol) it’s because she values those gryffindor qualities more than she values the qualities of intelligence that she was placed in gryffindor but that wasn’t very well expanded on in the books and it isn’t super relevant to ravenclaw kibum so i’ll move on.

one of my biggest points is the whole intelligence isn’t limited to getting good grades in school one. so in 1983 a developmental psychologist (don’t know what that is and i’m too lazy to google but i’m assuming he knew what he was talking about) came up with this theory?? idea?? whatever. that there are in fact nine different types of intelligence and you can’t bullet point in essays so bear with me: there’s naturalist intelligence which is like nature and stuff… not my thing and not kibum’s either so we’ll move forward; musical intelligence - let’s stop this list right here so i can point a giant finger at kibum’s obvious musical talent (which fingers crossed we’ll get to see in his solo album which will happen i have hope) - logical/mathematical (it took me four tries to spell that right could you believe i used to be a three time school spelling bee champion hahhahhahah) which is what i believe most people think of when they think “intelligence;” existential (why do we exist? what is our purpose here on earth? what the fuck exactly is a human? what is consciousness? this is for the ones who have existential crises every other day congrats you’re smart). this paragraph is getting too long lemme move to the next one -

yes hi where were we : interpersonal! this is a another one i think kibum has a lot of; he’s really extroverted and have you ever noticed that he knows like. everyone because he makes friends super easily and everything?? he knows how people work and he’s comfortable around them. next, linguistic intelligence, which he possesses a lot of too - we all know the man’s smart as hell when it comes to languages it’s real sexy; intra-personal (this is like…. knowing yourself and your thoughts/feelings which sounds fake to me but whatever); and last but not least (or yes least depending on how much of it you have) spatial intelligence which yeah kibum has a lot of because this applies to visual art and stuff and also comes in handy if you’re an engineer. (shout out to any of those reading this now stop and go do your job or something fucking nerds!)

so we’ve established that kibum is super intelligent, especially creatively, which you already should’ve known if you’ve been a shawol for longer than two seconds or aren’t stanning solely for visuals… my point is : kibum’s a smart dude!! so one box for ravenclaw checked! i’m not trying to say if you’re not a ravenclaw you’re stupid by the way because all of this means jack shit if you don’t value your intelligence, which brings us back to the whole situation with hermione - she was in gryffindor because gryffindor’s qualities were more important to her. but i think it’s clear kibum takes a whole lot of pride in his creative accomplishments and he’s always looking to add more to his loooooong resumé of cool shit i’ve done at such a young age (taemin has one of those except his is cool shit i’ve done at an even younger age). it’s these traits of his that stand out the most in my opinion which checks another ravenclaw kibum box!

completely unrelated to actual house sorting but kibum looks incredible in blue. pretend i attached pictures for reference.

listen being in ravenclaw isn’t all flowers and rainbows (that’s more hufflepuff; you can find them in the kitchens xx). this emphasis on logic and intelligence can often create a chasm between the more human side of things. ravenclaws tend to forget that emotion plays just a big a part in how things work as pure, cold logic does - which obviously doesn’t always apply, because interpersonal intelligence is a facet of ravenclawism?? let’s pretend that’s a word. ravenclaws can also be real perfectionists and super hard on themselves. and don’t forget that they can get big heads too - placing a higher value on intelligence, creative or not, doesn’t make you better than the rest of the houses, ravenclaws.

trust me, i know. i’m a ravenclaw. fuck pottermore.

i just realized something. in any proper school essay, you never just jump into things the way i did. idk if any of you learned tags?? theme, author, general, specific (or something like that; forgive me if i can’t remember, oh sophomore year honors english teacher) but yeah i forgot to do all that and just kinda went KIBUM IS A RAVENCLAW FUCK HIM so…

i’m assuming whoever’s reading this has either read and/or watched at least one of the harry potter books/movies. if you’ve only ever seen the movies (or worse, just one movie) get the fuck out of my sight! nah, just kidding, i’m ready to explain all this shit to y’all. so buckle in, kids and non kids, because you’re about to have a crash course on hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry completely from my shitty memory!

so hogwarts is this amazing school in england that teaches young, impressionable kids magic tricks but with real magic. it’s the wave your wand, say the latin inspired magic words, and boom! you just turned your rat into a teacup (or if you’re ron, you got stuck halfway and now peter pettigrew is having the worst time of his life since [spoiler]). it’s pretty much the most dangerous place you can send your kid especially if one (1) harry james potter is in the student body, because this snake man with no nose is coming to get him because he’s holding a ten year or so grudge that he couldn’t kill him when he wanted to. also [spoiler] plays a part in that lmao voldemort isn’t that shallow. but he is pretty shallow.

on your first day at this super cool school you put a magic talking hat on your head and it compartmentalizes you into one of four houses based on your personality, your values, and your strengths. it’s like divergent except less black and white. (and if you’ve seen/read divergent and not harry potter get your fucking priorities in order wtf???) you’ve probably heard of these houses - gryffindor, slytherin, ravenclaw, and hufflepuff - even if you know shit about harry potter because you’re friend has said to you “oh yeah i’m a hufflepuff” and you went “oh cool haha sounds fucking dumb” and unfortunately for your poor hufflepuff friend most people look down on hufflepuff. thank god that’s changing and fuck rowling for making it that way. no one has time for her silly “all slytherins are evil” narrative.

rowling-wise (hope y’all are realizing by now that i’m not her biggest fan) the houses are pretty much as one-dimensional as divergent was: gryffindor was for the big, strong, brave people; ravenclaw for the smart; slytherin for… well, evil; and everyone else gets to be a hufflepuff and get labelled as nice. nothing wrong with being nice, but if you’re just nice, you’re boring, and hey, hufflepuffs don’t deserve that. maybe it’s tweaking canon a bit, but fandom has collectively shifted away from these stereotypes and effectively (more effectively than rowling, at least) expanded on what actually makes a gryffindor a gryffindor and so forth. (also, yeah, i thought i was a hufflepuff for years before i took a good look at myself in the mirror and realized i’m a lazy piece of shit that doesn’t deserve to be in that house)

off the top of my head, hogwarts was founded by four wizards with varying levels of assholishness, and their last names are where we get the houses. each one of them basically picked the qualities they wanted to see in their students (gg : “i want the loudmouths who are brave and awesome!” rr: “i want the ones who think being smart is sexy” ss: “i want the ambitious prideful ones” and lovely helga hufflepuff was like “cool i’ll just take the rest they’re amazing too”) and so the houses were formed. things quickly unraveled after that because mr. slytherin was a racist piece of shit and he only wanted the “pure-blooded” families to send their kids to hogwarts (meaning the ones wizarding families who were all wizards) and the rest were like “wtf bro?? what about the mixed kids. or the random muggle-borns blessed with the ability to bewitch??” and salazar was like “nah i’m out goodbye fuckers i hate you all for being open-minded and shit.” so, i mean, it really doesn’t come as a surprise that slytherin gets such a bad rep considering the first ever slytherin was on the high end of the asshole spectrum. and then all that shit with the [spoiler] in chamber of secrets happened, so not only was he an asshole, but he was also fucking insane. good riddance. but the rest stayed, and they made hogwarts famous, and then they died and became ghosts to haunt the corridors of the school or whatever.

so now that your brief hogwarts, a history lesson is over, let’s talk a little more about slytherin because i feel like it! also the whole idea about all slytherins being evil, power-hungry, greedy fuckers is wrong and needs to be dispelled. yes, power does play a huge role in who a slytherin is, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be a “crush everyone underneath me” kind of thing - it’s more like an ambition-driven one. sure, a lot of slytherins are bad, like, say, voldemort, who was so obsessed with power and living forever that he pretty much killed himself, with a little bit of help from our lovely hero harry. and like… i could go into detail about how horrible and abusive snape was (yes he did have a few good qualities but they certainly weren’t redeeming ones fuck off) but i’d max out the number of pages for this essay so maybe another time. if you’re a snape apologist…… well i hope you see the light soon. that’s a real stain on your person. but yeah - not every single slytherin you see is pure evil; regulus black exists (please read the books) and like. narcissa malfoy just wanted to protect her son, you know? doesn’t excuse most of the shit she did but her intentions weren’t completely “oh i want to be powerful also i’m better than everyone because i’m pureblood and you’re not haha.”

also taemin!! there’s a lovely slytherin. smart, ambitious, sweet, great smile, i’ll stop before this turns into a soft rant - taemin is textbook slytherin but surprise he isn’t in the game just so he can put other people down. and i wasn’t serious about my other if you’re blank then stop reading this but if you don’t think taemin’s a slytherin you can exit. right now. i’m serious i don’t want to be associated with y’all. AND IT’S EVEN WORSE IF YOU THINK HE’S A HUFFLEPUFF!!! you’re going to put lee “work over relationships” taemin into hufflepuff? he’s pure slytherin; he’s driven by ambition - idk if you noticed when he was talking about his budokan concerts but he mentioned how he worked so hard on it for his own sake. he wanted to prove to himself as well as others that he could pull off something so grand and incredible (and he did but once again that’s soft rant territory so i’ll pull back) and that’s slytherin. this isn’t necessarily in a bad way, but he’s so willing to throw his members under the bus for his own sake - go watch their weekly idol. THAT DOESN’T MAKE HIM EVIL LMAO a big part of being a slytherin is relationships with others!! when the worst comes to worst, loyalty is important to slytherins. it’s not one of their defining characteristics like it is for gryffindor but it’s still super important. that’s not to say he doesn’t have hufflepuff traits (y’know, working hard! being dedicated!) but those coupled with entirely slytherin motivations of proving oneself and becoming the best they can be point him towards slytherin’s direction. slytherins have a tendency of throwing everyone and everything away (including, many times, themselves) for the sake of achieving their goal and taemin is a perfect example of that. sure, he’s as sweet as a person who laughs when other people are crying can be, but that doesn’t automatically make him a hufflepuff. it’s not like everyone who isn’t a hufflepuff is mean or that every hufflepuff is a gooey pile of chocolate and sunshine.

anyway… this is about kibum…

(fun fact : the animal associated with the ravenclaw house is actually an eagle. something about soaring to new intellectual heights or something. would’ve been easier to just make it a raven because it’s not like ravens can’t fly too but whatever.)

probably one of the biggest roadblocks with sorting people into hogwarts houses is the overlap that occurs between traits of different houses. having one trait - or even a few of them - doesn’t automatically mean you fit solidly into a house, because you have to take your own ideals and values into account, as well as the way you approach things in life. it’s not to say kibum isn’t ambitious, because yeah, he is, but the way his ambition is directed towards his creative pursuits for the sake of expanding his creative intelligence is a ravenclaw thing you know?? same with jonghyun (who is also a ravenclaw) - the way he approaches all of his creative pursuits is completely in the artistic sense. jonghyun is creatively brilliant - let’s look at his radio show, or his song-writing, or his composing, or his book writing, etc. - and just because he’s a ravenclaw doesn’t mean he’s not ambitious. sure he’s ambitious but is anyone sitting here calling him a slytherin?? no, seriously - does anyone think jonghyun’s a slytherin? because i’ve never seen that. most people put him in hufflepuff and not ravenclaw… but why? is it because he’s soft? because that’s a hell of a stereotype, too, and it’s not like all ravenclaws are cold, emotionally detached bitches who only care about getting 100 percents on their quizzes.

what i’m trying to say is people can’t be categorized into boxes the way the houses were originally constructed; otherwise, most of the population would just be hufflepuffs. sorting also takes your personal wishes, your goals, what you think is important into consideration. so, yeah, if kibum really wanted he could totally be a slytherin, but it would pretty much be for the sake of being a slytherin because that cunning is not what he deems most important. let’s go back to harry potter himself - the sorting hat was really fucking ready to put him in slytherin, and as much as you can argue that it was because a piece of voldemort, of evil, was in him or whatever, you can’t deny that harry has a lot of inherently slytherin traits. he knows how to work people, he knows how to get out of tricky situations because he’s witty and yeah, cunning as hell. and yes, he asked not to be put in slytherin, but that’s mainly because he walked into hogwarts having heard nothing but stereotypes about the house (like that one line that ron said about how not everyone in slytherin was evil but how everyone evil came from slytherin, the whole square rectangle relationship). and keep in mind that he didn’t specifically ask to be put into gryffindor but that the sorting hat recognized those qualities that he also had and the fact that he valued them more as well and made the decision to sort him into gryffindor.

sorting is a tricky business, thanks to those gray areas. there are ravenclaws that could be academically behind others, but they work their asses off because they want to learn. hard work is, again, technically a hufflepuff trait but their objective, their main focus, is the learning aspect which makes them a ravenclaw! an excellent real life example would be minho, who you can argue has several gryffindor traits, like… he’s loud and i guess he’s brave and all, but hufflepuff fits him a thousand times better. the importance he places on relationships and especially loyalty is purely hufflepuff and he makes a damn good one, too. i think that’s what annoys me most about people who think taemin’s too “sweet” or “nice” to be a slytherin - i hate to break it to you, but not every slytherin is mean and selfish. they just value being at the top because they believe they deserve it, and you can’t really fault a person for that, and it doesn’t mean they think everyone else is automatically lesser, either.

i’m going to wrap this up now because i want to watch final life and i’ve also made pretty much every point i can think of right now. kibum might be out there dropping $100+ on overpriced slytherin wands and parading around in his slytherin scarf but honestly? i’m still convinced he’s a ravenclaw because it just fits him so much better. but i guess slytherin is a good second choice! he really made me angry enough to write an entire goddamn essay about this wow

#shinee #key #amar rata #kim kibum #RAVENCLAW KIBUM #i'm serious about the slyth taemin thing by the way #i'm gonna go watch final life now and support my baby bye #mine

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mysmessmistake · 8 years ago

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(((hi!! i really love your headcanons and gosh u just put so much character into these dorks ur amazing))) can i ask for MC getting drunk after a fight w/ Seven + V + Saeran, finding her and driving her back home? (Extra points if she sleeps in the car on the while the boys apologize lmao)

I wasn’t too sure onwhere to go with this, so it might be a little all over the place. I also hopeyou don’t mind I did headcannons, thank you so much for saying that, it means alot.

Saeyoung

The fight started, how the very first fight you ever had started, with Saeyoung ignoring you

Then Saeyoung pushing you away

Yelling at you

Telling you to leave because of one reason or another

So you did

You went to a bar and got absolutely pissed.

Saeyoung was going to leave you be, maybe you’d ’come to your senses’ and leave a ’dangerous man like him‘

Because he didn’t deserve you

However, Saeran being the sweet baby brother that he is

Smacked his brother over the head

With a hardcover book

And yelled at him to go get you back

“Are you a moron? You throw away the best thing you have? They don't deserve to be sad because you can’t get over yourself”

Okay Saeran ease up a bit

Saeyoung knew he was right, so he got in his car and headed to the bar he’d stalked you to seen you enter

You were moping at the bar, drinking some sort of cocktail

Saeyoung approached you, and you grumbled out a sentence without even looking at him

“Leave me alone I have a boyfriend"

The reply was instant and rehearsed like you’d already said it a thousand times

“Well, that’s a relief"

You turned at the voice, eyeing him carefully.

"Saeyoung?”

“Is that bad?”

The two of you were silent, you didn’t want to tell him to go away but you were tired of fighting

And also drunk

“C'mon, lets go home"

You obliged

It seemed neither of you had anything to say in the car

Until Saeyoung spoke

"I’m sorry”

Oh are you?

No words came out, your eyes began to flutter as you rested your head against the car door frame.

“I really love you MC. Sometimes I forget you’ll stay by my side… and my self hatred gets too out of hand. But Saeran was right, he said I should get over myself. I’m really sorry MC, I love you so much and- and”

He looked over at you briefly

“And you’re asleep”

He couldn’t stop the grin on his face because of course you’re asleep.

He made sure you got home safely and tucked you into bed, sleeping separately incase you didn’t want him there

The next morning he made you breakfast in bed and apologised again

Cuddles all day

Saeran is happy and also exasperated by his brother

you and V hardly ever fought

The only serious fight you can remember is when he wouldn’t get the eye surgery

And it wasn’t even a proper fight

It was an argument that lasted a few hours

then finally V understood why he needed to get his eyes treated

V is always acting happy and telling you nothing is wrong

As well as always agreeing with you and going along with whatever you decide

So there are rare arguments

Which is actually why you’re arguing now

He never tells you what’s on his mind

Or how he really feels

Or what he really thinks

And it irked you to no end

So after yelling at him for a solid ten minutes, you made your way to the local bar

And got absolutely smashed

V left you for a few hours but eventually went to find you to make sure you were okay.

He sat in the stool next to you, and you have give a droopy smile

“Hi! My names MC"

"Hello MC” V smiled at your silliness, realising you didn’t know it was him.

“Will you let me take you home, MC?”

“Oooohhhhh no, I have a boyfriend. He wouldn’t like that. Actually maybe he wouldn’t care. I don’t know if he cares. Does he care?”

“Of course I care MC"

He was heartbroken to hear you say that

"Will he show it?"

The bartenders never seen a mans heart break quite like his did when you said that, and looked him in the eyes with desperation.

"It’s me, MC. It’s V"

"Ooohhh. V!! Why are you here? Do you come to this bar too!?"

Your mood did a 180° flip that V couldn’t help but laugh at

It took a while but eventually he convinced you to come home

The two of you sat in the car, and you rambled on about random things, most things didn’t make sense

Then you went quiet, V thought you’d fallen asleep until your voice, barely above a whisper, came out again.

"I’m worried everything V bottles up will get to him one day and he won’t be able to stop bad thoughts”

Holy shit you were really worried about him

He began to apologise long and hard, he promised in the morning he’d open up about anything and everything you wanted to know, he wouldn’t hold back.

He wanted you to know he trusted you more than anyone in the world. And he would do anyth-

Your snores interrupted his words

He smiled, relaxing slightly and taking a deep breath

He kept true to his promise and the next morning the two of you had a very long conversation about deep and personal things

Saeran

you and Saeran bickered often but had never fought

Not really

Sometimes on his bad days he’d tell you to stay away and lock himself in his room

But this day was after a really bad day

Saeran couldn’t sleep because he couldn’t stop thinking about how he’d told you to get out of his life

He felt so bad

He didn’t miss your frown after he said it either

Saeran made a stupid, one sided decision that you needed to be with someone better

So the next morning he yelled at you, he screamed until his face was red and you were crying because you couldn’t understand why

He told you to leave, get out of his life, make his life better by vanishing, he said he hated you and that you were just used for his recovery

Saeyoung suggested you leave after Saeran locked himself in the bathroom

“MC, he must be having a horrible day. Please don’t take anything he says to heart, but you should go somewhere else until he calms down"

You listened to him, and made the mistake of heading to the local bar

You were there for hours on end until Saeyoung finally talked some sense into his brother and Saeran searched for you.

He didn’t bother sitting down at the bar, he grabbed your arm and got your attention quickly.

"Saeyoung!! You look along like Saeran when you’re drunk!!"

Your giggle would’ve been cute had you not just called him Saeyoung

"You’re drunk not me”

You ignored him

“What are you doing here silly? You have to look after Saeran!!!!!"

"MC, I am Saeran"

"Haha, your tricks can’t fool me”

He argued with you for a few minutes, before getting uncomfortable with how many people were looking at the two of you and giving up

“Yes yes I’m Saeyoung, can we go home now?”

“Does Saeran want me there? I donwanna make him worser”

He wasn’t going to point out that what you said made little sense.

“Yes, Saeran wants you home"

"Oki doki. Let’s go!"

He quickly fled the scene and strapped you into the car

He ignored everything you were saying because it was mainly bullshit

But suddenly began to spout very person stuff

"If I tell you something will you promise not to tell Saeran?”

He knew he shouldn’t of said yes

“Yes, I promise"

Dammit Saeran

"Im in love with Saeran”

S i l e n c e

Neither of you had told each other that before

“He’s been through so much, and he still has a long way to go. But he always makes me feel a happiness that I’ve never felt before"

His face was bright red and he’s so happy that you didn’t currently know who he was

"Also, I steal his sweaters when he isn’t home”

God dammit MC

he didn’t apologise to you yet, there’d be no point because you thought he was his idiotic brother

The next morning however, you found yourself in Saerans bed with Saeran sitting on the floor, his back against the bed and s game-boy in his hands.

After he noticed you woke up he joined you in the bed, bringing you into a hug as he apologised for his behaviour

He told you it was all a lie and that he never wanted you to leave

“I love you, MC"

"Also, stop stealing my sweaters"

You smiled, because that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

#mystic Messenger #mystic Messenger imagine #mystic Messenger headcannon #mystic Messenger Saeyoung #mystic Messenger V #mystic Messenger Saeran

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petersasteria · 8 years ago

Text

All Preference!

A/N: I can't pick one :(

Kinda like fave imagines but it's a preference.

Y/F/_/G means your fave ___ guy

1D = One Direction (obviously)

5S = 5SOS

TV = The Vamps

YT = YouTuber

TT = The Tide

NHC = New Hope Club

You'll get it once you read it. Just put your fave's name in it (depending on which band or youtuber).

Song Preference: When She Loved Me by Sarah McLachlan

P.S. It's from Toy Story 2 bc I fell down a hole of childhood feels. I got the full version of the scene so that y'all can remember and feel the song lmao. All in his POV.

I put pictures before the group except for the YouTuber one bc there are so many YouTubers.

* * * *

Y/F/1D/G: (AU)

When somebody loved me,

Everything was beautiful.

Every hour we spent together,

Lives within my heart.

"Teacher! Teacher!" I turn around and see a little girl from my class.

"Yes sweetie?" I ask her, crouching down a bit to be at her level.

"I have a question." she mumbles.

"Okay. What is it?" I furrow my eyebrows.

"Can you tell me about love?" she asks.

"Okay." I say as I sat down in front of her and she does the same. "Love is a feeling. It's when you feel a certain way about someone. It's caring about someone so much that you sometimes forget about caring for yourself. You feel different around them. Love is everywhere."

"Can I see it now?" she asks looking around.

I laugh, "No, you can't." She pouts at this. "You can feel it. It's abstract. You can also show someone you love them." I smile.

"How?"

"It depends. For example, your mum shows you she loves you by cooking your favorite food. Or your dad shows you he loves you by teaching you how to ride a bike." I say.

"Do my siblings love me?"

"Of course! Siblings are a bit tricky. They might not show you they love you, but deep down they do love you and care for you."

"Oh okay. Have you ever loved someone?" Geez. This question struck me.

"Yes, I have." I answer honestly. How could I forget about her?

"What's her name?" she asks excitedly.

"Her name is Y/N." I say with a sad smile. Saying her name brought back memories.

"What's she like?"

"She had the most beautiful eyes. You can get lost in them. Her hair was as soft as cotton. She's as beautiful, inside and out." I ramble.

"Wow. She must be very pretty."

"She's very pretty."

"You look sad." she says with a frown. "What happened?"

"You see, sometimes love doesn't work out like you want it to be." I say with a sad look on my face.

"Why?"

"I don't know." I shrug. "It's just like that."

"What if it worked out like you wanted it to be?"

"Y/N and I would still be together. We would've been creating new memories, get married, and have kids. But we're not together anymore." I say, trying not to cry.

"Why? Where is she?"

"She's with someone else now, and I'm really happy for her. I really hope her dreams come true with the guy she's with."

"You don't look very happy." she says with a straight face. "Why would you let her be with someone else?"

"You see, love is also about letting go. Even if it means not being with the person you love. If they're happy without you, just accept it." I say sadly.

"Geez, love has loads of meanings!" she exclaims. I laugh.

"Well, I need to go now." she says standing up as I did the same.

"Okay. Have a safe trip home. I'll see you tomorrow!" I smile and walk to my desk to fix some papers.

"Teacher?" she says before leaving.

"Yes?" I look at her once again.

"I hope you find someone like Y/N. Or I hope you get back together. I don't want to see my favorite teacher sad." she says sadly. This made my heart melt. "Oh and thank you!"

"For what?"

"For teaching me what love is. I guess you love us too, because you show us that you love us by teaching us."

"I guess." I chuckle. "You know, for a little girl you're very smart." I compliment.

"Bye teacher!"

"Bye!" and with that I'm left alone in the classroom.

Y/F/5S/G:

And when she was sad,

I was there to dry her tears.

And when she was happy,

So was I when she loved me.

I'm here today standing at the altar waiting for the love of my life to walk down the aisle. I see her and immediately, my eyes starts to water. She looks at me and smiles. I smile back, but frown immediately when she held the hand of her husband-to-be. No, I'm not the groom. I'm just the best man.

It's really sad, because I'm always here for her when she needs someone. But she's happy now, and I'm happy for her. Y/N never knew about my feelings towards her, and it'll be like that forever. Maybe it's because I'm in a band and I never got time to tell her how I feel, because of touring and promoting and stuff. It's too late now. I can't ruin the one thing she's been dreaming of ever since we were 10.

Y/N asked me to be her best man, because we've been friends for as long as I can remember now and she wants me to be happy and find someone. She joked about wanting me to get with one of the bridesmaids. I laughed, but I only have eyes for her.

The wedding's finally over and it's time for my speech. I'm the best man and it's necessary. Geez, I don't know where to begin. Okay here it goes...

"Hey everyone!" oh god I'm so awkward.

"I'm Y/F/5S/G. Y/N's been my best friend ever since we were children. Since then, we've been stuck together and I never want to be stuck with anyone else. We're like Fred and George Weasley. We get in trouble together and we have fun together and stuff like that."

"I remember when she told me about Andy (a/n: random guy and this is based on that song from Toy Story so yeah). She was so happy and she had this look on her face that says 'he's the one'. Y/N, I believe you're right. He is the one. I'm happy for you; for both of you."

"Now that you're married, you're basically starting a new life with Andy. I hope he'll be there with you every step of the way just like I did. And now that that's happening, you're not going to need me as much anymore. But I'll always be here for you. I'll be looking out for you like what Snape did to Harry."

"I'm not breaking our friendship up, but I'm letting you go on with your life with less me in it. Mischief managed." I say with a sad smile.

I know it's not proper to end with a quote from Harry Potter, but it means a lot to both of us.

Y/F/YT/G:

Through the summer and the fall,

We had each other that was all.

Just she and I together,

Like it was meant to be.

"Hey everyone! Welcome to this week's video!" I smile while saying my intro.

"And this video is different from the others, because I'll be talking about something I've never really shared with you guys." I say in a straight face.

"As you may or may not know, I've been single for awhile now. I know that you're probably thinking that I'm seeing someone or something like that. No, I'm not." I shake my head.

"I know some of you are like 'he can do so much better' or 'he'll have a girlfriend soon' or 'you're so lonely just date someone already'. Thing is, I did." I admit.

"Her name is Y/N and we've been together since high school. We broke up nearly a year ago. You're probably asking why such a long term relationship like ours ended so quickly. Well because I wanted to pursue this dream of mine and she got accepted to Oxford University."

"You have no idea how bad I want her to be a part of this dream of mine. She's great. With her, everything was in place; like it was meant to be there. It was us against everything and I miss her so much. I keep asking myself if she's okay or if she's taking care of herself or if she's...with someone else."

"I know it's silly to talk about someone who's obviously not coming back. She was pretty serious about the break up. I really want her to be happy and successful. I remember her telling me that she wanted to become a pediatrician, because she loves kids. You know, a part of my dream is to be with her and have a family with her when I'm done with this YouTube thing. There'll eventually come a point where I would want to settle down with the money I earned. I know it'll happen...just not with Y/N."

"Um, Y/N if you're watching this I hope you're doing okay there at Oxford. I want to visit you, but I'm afraid I might be in the way of something. You're a really special girl and I hope you know that. You deserve to be treated the way you deserve to be treated. I'm sorry I couldn't be a part of your dream. College isn't really my cup of tea and you of all people should know that. But for you, I'll try."

"You were really worried when I told you that I wanted to be a YouTuber, because you said that I have nothing to fall back on when I'm done. You're right. That's why I've decided to check out some universities/colleges."

"Yes guys you heard it right. I'm going to college, but don't worry I won't stop making videos. I mean, I'm living on my own now and this is where my source of income. This'll help me with my tuition fee and all." I laugh.

"I guess I'll end it here. Sorry this isn't the usual video I make. I promise a sick video next week! Thank you so much for watching! All my social links are in the description below and you can click here to subscribe to my channel." I smile and point at the imaginary bubble on my left. "Bye!" I waved and close the camera. Since this is a really touchy video, I uploaded it without editing it. Minutes later I get notifications from my subscribers and followers.

This'll be worth it in the end.

Y/F/TV/G:

And when she was lonely,

I was there to comfort her.

And I knew that she loved me...

Y/N and I have been together for awhile now and we haven't said 'I love you' to each other yet. I haven't told her yet, because I'm afraid that she wouldn't feel the same way; afraid that she didn't like me too much to even love me.

I may not say it yet, but I do show her that I love her. So far, she hasn't been opening up about our relationship which is understandable, because she warned me in the beginning that she might be all shy and stuff. She also told me that she's never been kissed on the lips before, because she wasn't ready for that. I said that I'll wait and it's worth it.

"Y/N what's wrong?" I asked one day when I visited her.

"Nothing." she answered. Although we've been together for a short while, I can already read her like a book.

"C'mon there must be something." I said to her.

"Fine." she sighed. "You know that feeling when you're in a group but not IN the group? It's stupid I know."

"Hey, it's alright. You've got me! You've got the lads! You're family! And you've got the fans that support our relationship!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. It's just that my friends don't include me in anything anymore." she said in a sad tone.

"It's alright, love. You'll meet new people and make new friends and I promise you, you'll forget all about the friends who just tossed you aside." I smiled at her with a reassuring smile.

"Really?" she asked.

"Really." I said as I cuddled next to her.

"I'll get us some food while you pick a movie to watch. I'll be back." Y/N smiled and leaned in to kiss me on the lips. I was taken aback for a sudden, but I smiled through the kiss before she pulled away and went to the kitchen.

I smiled to myself and that's slowly opening up and that's when I knew that she loved me.

Y/F/TT/G:

So the years went by, I stayed the same,

But she began to drift away.

I was left alone,

But I still waited for the day

When she'd say 'I will always love you.'

It's really difficult to move on from someone you've been with for years. You'll think that you'll be together until you say your "I do's". We can't always get what we want.

I guess she was tired. Tired of the fans treating her badly, tired of her mom and dad nagging to her about how she can do better than me, tired of me touring the world and tired of me leaving her alone. And I guess that's why she began to be distant. She never said 'I' in 'I love you' anymore, she never cuddles with me, she faces the other way when we sleep, she makes breakfast feel like a job; she used to make breakfast because she wants to...now I feel like she's just doing that to make me happy, to make me feel loved.

As she began to distance herself from me, I start to feel the same way she feels when I leave for tour; alone and lonely. There are times when we walk together and actually enjoy. Sometimes I wish it could be like that forever, but it's not going to be that way.

I expect that one of these days, she'll break it off with me. So far, she didn't. I guess she felt that I still loved her and she didn't want to break my heart. Everyday I'm trying to win her heart like I did before she agreed to be my girlfriend. Now it's not working.

"Knowing Y/N, she probably accepted your gifts because she didn't want your efforts to go to waste." one of the boys said after telling them about my current situation.

"Yeah I agree. She's really sweet and she's too nice to say no." another said.

"She probably still loves you. Maybe not like before, but at least she still cares about you. Think about it, if she didn't care about you she wouldn't get up and make you breakfast, lunch, and dinner." the other shrugs.

I guess.

I'm still waiting for the day she'll say that she still loves me, because I love her too much to let her go.

Y/F/NHC/G:

Lonely and forgotten; never thought she'd look my way.

She smiled at me and held me just like she used to do.

Like she loved me, when she loved me...

The lads and I are walking around London to buy some food, because we're growing boys and we're hungry. I went to get ice cream, but I remembered that Y/N used to get ice cream for the two of us. The memory made me smile for a bit.

I got my favorite ice cream flavor and I also got the lads their favorite ice cream, because why not? I looked up from the freezer and saw Y/N.

I continued to look at her despite the boys waving their hands in front of me. I thought she wouldn't look. I thought she forgot about me. The thought of her forgetting about me made my heart shatter. I was about to look away when she looked back.

"Blake!" Y/N smiled. She smiled like the way she used to smile at me; full of love and happiness.

"Y/N..." I said still in shock.

The next thing she did shocked me even more. She hugged me.

"It's been 5 months. How're you?" Y/N asked as she pulled away.

"I've been good. And yourself?" I asked. When we broke up I was really worried about her. After 2 years of being together, I learned all things about her. You see when she was a kid, everything was spoon fed. She didn't really have time to explore things on her own. When she was 15, she decided to try and do things on her own. That's how I met her. I taught her things she needed to know and I hope she still remembers.

"Um, I'm great! I'm still adjusting to my flat. It's really hard living alone. I don't know how to fix the heater." Y/N smiled shyly.

"Um, I can come over if you want? I mean, I'll fix it for you." I suggested. I mentally thanked myself for saving her number.

"That would be great! Are you sure it wouldn't bother your schedule?" she asked.

"Anything for you...as friends of course." I said awkwardly.

She laughed, "Okay well, I need to go now. I'll, um, see you around."

"Yeah, see you." I smiled and gave her one last hug.

She smiled and walked away.

When somebody loved me,

Everything was beautiful.

Every hour we spent together,

Lives within my heart.

When she loved me...

* * * *

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