#I’ve made so many friends! I’ve learned so many things!!!!!! I thought everything was going to be miserable forever
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redskysailor · 2 years ago
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banging fists on ground I love my friends so much I think I have to kill somebody about it
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meyhew · 2 months ago
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“WHAT WE MOURN FOR THE DEAD IS THE LOSS OF THEIR HOPES.”
I never thought I’d make this post. Any time I imagined a One Direction member dying, I pictured myself weathered and grey. This was an eventuality that wasn’t supposed to be actualized until the boys and I had lived full lives. To have to come to terms with Liam’s death—his perpetual absence moving forward—in my mid twenties feels absurd. I wrote a long thing the day after I found out, so I’ve already gotten some thoughts out. I’m going to try and keep this short. I likely won’t succeed.
Liam was kind. If he’s remembered for anything, I hope it’s that. I know he helped out with food banks in London during lockdown because there were photos of him packing boxes, but I didn’t know until now how much money he gave them. £80,000 without any publicity. And it wasn’t a one-time donation. He kept working with various orgs to help food insecure people. In the week leading up to that unfortunate Wednesday, he gave away thousands to fundraisers—primarily set up to help people with severe illnesses. He’d been part of Soccer Aid for years. He was involved with anti-bullying campaigns. He worked with Rays of Sunshine to make hundreds of sick children happy. Over the years, he also donated to nonprofits that help children in Gaza and other places. The T-shirt he designed for Choose Love has garnered nearly £200,000; Choose Love has been working with the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund and Medical Aid for Palestinians to provide desperately needed aid in Gaza. Liam understood the value of his wealth, and what his social responsibility was. He did his part to make this world better.
All that without taking into account everything Liam did for us. The youtube videos he started during quarantine because it was a way to distract people, give them something to look forward to. His comedic timing was something special. The discord server where he talked to fans and highlighted their creative endeavors. His livestreams, the endless culture-defining tweets he made. I still see people laughing about his tweets. We all remember Mrs. Horan, yes? I mean, go all the way back to TwitCams. Just google the phrase and one of the first videos you get will be Liam’s. From day one, he took it upon himself to make sure the fans were happy. That we felt seen, heard. And he kept One Direction alive for us, on occasion at a great personal cost. He performed deep cuts we’d never seen sung live, he was always so enthusiastic about everyone else’s projects, he never shied away from talking about the band—because it made us happy. He knew what the band meant to us, the blend of hope and nostalgia many of us clung to, and he held on with us. For us. The masses ridiculed him for his clinginess, and he didn’t let go—for us. I’m sure he knew there are those of us for whom the name One Direction still means everything. And how right he was. Look at the global charts for the past two weeks. We’ve made history again. Because of Liam. He had been the glue holding a lot of the fandom together, whether people realized it or not. He brought us all together again in the most heartbreaking of ways.
One Direction came into my life at a time when I was becoming lonelier by the day. I had moved to a new country two years prior, and I didn’t yet have many friends because I knew only enough English to get by at school. Outside of school, I had no friends. They were all back home in the place I’d left. All I had was my two siblings—and when you’re 13 years old, your 14 yr old sister is hardly the person you want to spend all your time with. I didn’t have space for me, to do and to be something that was just mine.
Then I found 1d through a girl at school and they became that something for me. I bettered my English by watching them talk. I found this community because of them, and I have learned so much from being a part of it. So many wonderful people have touched my life because of them over the years, some I’ve fallen out of touch with and some I hung out with just this month. They—and, by extension, Liam—have made me wealthy in friendship.
Claudia, Ingrid, Mery; Thank you for putting up with my insanely specific demands and making headers for me. Ingrid, you’ve been so patient about teaching me how to gif. Mery, I still have your rec list for learning Spanish saved in my notes app. The TPWK print you gifted me hangs on my wall. Cloudy, do you remember that lineart you made of me? I still have it. You’ve all been so kind to me.
Rafa; You have no idea how much you’ve helped build my confidence as a writer. Lyab is a thing of the past now, but those hours you spent fleshing out the details of that fic are priceless to me. I’d never written anything so ambitious before. And, frankly, I don’t think I would’ve attempted a novel if I hadn’t written a 100k fic—which I couldn’t have done without your encouragement. I think this is my first time telling you I finished the first draft of my novel in September. Thank you <3
Yas; Beloved you are so dear to me. You have shown me such kindness over the years, at times I wondered what I had done to deserve it. Not many people check in with me the way you do. I value your presence in my life beyond words. You have so much love and affection to give, and I’m glad I get to receive so much of it.
If I wrote a personal note to everyone who’s in my life because of Liam we’d be here for hours and hours. Jess, Bella, Alex, Jack, Hayley, Hope, Soni, Kayla, Sara, Arsh, Tina, Ola, Cristal, Kylee, Hana, Ali, Antonise, Clare, Abby, Nina, fnh, mert, people I don’t follow anymore, everyone who’s come into my life because of liam—I love you. Literally every single person I follow should be named here because I wouldn’t even be on this website if it weren’t for 1d. You’re all so special to me.
I still can’t believe Liam is gone. I was at the grocery store and it hit me that it’s real, and I thought, no, there’s no way. It feels so fucking weird having this invisible hole in my life that’s never going to go away. But I’ll always be grateful for everything Liam brought into my life. I know I’ll grow old with a whole bunch of you in my life—I’ve already spent a decade with some of you in my life—and I wish Liam got to grow old and weathered with us all.
This is such an inadequate goodbye. I think I’ll keep coming up with things I wish I could tell Liam, or things I want to say to you all. There’s so much history here, so much to reminisce about. He took a piece of my adolescence with him. I’ll miss him forever. Too many of my memories are intertwined with him and I’ll miss him forever.
Sleep easy, Liam. I hope, in time, you’re remembered for your limitless capacity for love and your desire to do better, be better. You deserved more. 🤍
—————
tagging 1d people here because i know many blogs aren’t active on a regular basis. apologies if i missed someone (i’m sure i did). hugs for everyone
@1dclowns @hrrytomlinson @sandiazucar @fookinfreezin @hoeranghae @wlwmermald @tomlinsun @epubgf @heyangel @fireproofs @90sgrungelouis @lirry @iconichalo @itsnotreal @aquickstart @roguecurls @harryscuddles @hoteyelinerguy @babyy-honey @goldencereza @kindathoughtprovoking @kindofsharethat @fuchsiasea @queerbloodyangel @tofiveohfive @aboutmetamorphosis @wastelandbabyblue @delicatepointofview @twentybiqueen @girlcrushau @chaoticsue @chimnation @akasakasads @icouldbeluckyagain @alloutshirt @half-lightl @halohamilton @willowfey @meltedwings @softandslow @loustyles @onedirectiom @pop-punklouis @pridesobright @finexbright @femstyles @baawree @iamnathanscott @avocadolouie @userautumn @niallerer @itsnothesameasitwas @usignedupforthis @svpportive @svncourt
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pinkiemachine · 8 months ago
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I’ve only done some light reading on Selina, but even so, details on her past seem few and far between. Maybe there’s a reason, maybe I just haven’t looked hard enough, whatever. Someone can enlighten me in the comments. What I do know, however, is that she’s eluded to have experienced some form of abuse as a child. Now, this research came on the heels of brushing up on the rest of Batman’s rogues’ gallery and I gotta say, abuse as a backstory comes up a lot. And I’m just sitting here, like, “There are so many unique people in this world with unique traumas and hurts that this feels almost cookie cutter.” Am I wrong? I just wanna be more specific and explore problems more intimately. So… Selina Kyle. What to write for her backstory? I thought a lot about who she is as a character present day—her playful aloofness, her decision to become a cat burglar, breaking rules as if they don’t exist, always on the run, never settling down with anyone long term, stealing nice things for herself—it led me to this backstory: When Selina was a child, she was horribly neglected. Her father was almost never around and her mother was depressed, anxious, under the influence of alcohol quite often, and wished she never had a daughter. Selina found that it was always easier to live as though she were invisible. If she never got caught making a mess or being noisy or causing problems, her mother would never get mad at her, or even a acknowledge her, and neither would her father if he ever showed his face. She never received birthday gifts—or if she did, they were pitiful—and all of her attempts of reaching out via gifts to her mother and father were rejected. She was never loved and grew to believe that the only way she would ever feel cared for is if she just took care of herself and only herself. She was good at being invisible, and so she became good at stealing. She treated herself to nice things whenever she felt like it, and she rarely ever got caught. She never made close friends. She never really fell in love. She built up walls so high that no one could ever break them down… until she met Bruce. Suddenly, here was a guy who could consistently catch her red-handed. Who told her she needed to stop robbing people. Who believed she could be better. Who saw her. And even though she kept double-crossing him, escaping his grasp, and escaping justice, she found that it was a little bit harder to return to crime every time. She had always found him attractive… but the longer they chased each other around Gotham, and the longer he showed that he wasn’t going to ignore her or give up on her, the more that attraction turned into a deep feeling that Selina had never felt before. True love. She was scared of it. She didn’t know what to do with it. It was completely the opposite of everything she had ever known, and she secretly didn’t think she deserved it. After all, she was a criminal. She was a “bad guy.” Someone who stole from others for pleasure and profit. And yet Bruce believed she was a good person deep down. He believed she had the capacity for change. And in time, he would find himself falling in love with her too. By the end of their story, naturally, those walls had come crumbling down and they had each learned how to love again, something they both thought would never happen to them. 💜
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whatifyoulivelikethat · 7 months ago
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never not mine, m | jjk | "... in your eyes."
pairing(s): jungkook x reader
You'll find that you were never not mine. Wandering sometimes leads to finding. Finding sometimes leads to the truth. The truth sometimes leads to pinning someone to the wall and kissing them. But only if it feels right.
part i | part ii | this is part iii
warnings: rated M (18+) for language; sloooow burn; exes-to-lovers / second chance romance; angst and fluff and feels; your POV; smut (nipple play, scratching / marking, handjob, cum-eating / feeding, fingering, penetrative sex - missionary, doggy)
non-idol!AU; fashion model!Jungkook — ft fellow model/actor!Kim Taehyung and model/businessman!Kim Seokjin; reader is not part of the entertainment industry
--
“What is the most important lesson in your life you’ve learned so far?���
The most important lesson I’ve learned, huh… I think I would say that even though this world is difficult, tough, downright unbearable at times, it is okay to be comforted by the small things. I think a lot of people ignore those small things when they’re upset since they seem frivolous or out-of-touch to appreciate when you are having a hard time. But those are the most important times to enjoy them. We should not feel guilty about a small happiness. A taste of a favorite sweet. The sunset sky when you look up. Laughing with a friend even though everything around you feels dark. These moments will become the stars that will light up your universe in this black world.
For such a friendly, unassuming young man in a suit, he had been such a poet.
At first, you wondered if this was something you could apply on to your life. You had asked, it works in reverse too, doesn’t it?
He had tilted his head, inquisitive. What do you mean?
Small, painful things can slowly but surely break a reverie too, if you don’t take notice of them.
Ah. You’re right.
Each conversation had been insightful in its own way. The woman in the white dress. The most important lesson I’ve learned is loyalty. You might not make as much money or be as famous as you would if you turned your back on someone, but money and fame are fleeting. If you nurture those around you well, you will live a fulfilled life. The man with the silvery-blonde hair and white dress shirt. What an odd question. For me… to be proud of doing what I want to do, even if I may not measure up to the success of others. When I was younger, I thought it was more important to reach a massive audience, to have many people see my color. But now... I don’t think that’s what I want. I want to be an important part of someone’s life, short-term or long-term. I want my time to count to those who count. The woman in a tight denim number and lots of colorful bracelets. It’s important to be yourself. No one walks the same path. You might be too much for some but you might be just right for others, and those people will end up understand you best. The last one, a man with a bright smile and black dress shirt that seemed to barely contain his energy. An important lesson, huh? I guess I would say, go for it. Sometimes I’m uneasy or not confident in a new situation, and I have to remember to just go for it. Yeah, I think I’ve learned a lot from just doing rather than thinking too long about it. The only thing holding me back was being scared. But, being scared doesn’t mean you can’t take action. It means you can, because you have the strength to acknowledge your fear.
Yes, well.
Going for it sort of ended in smashing over a million won worth of liquor into the ground.
You couldn’t blame the advice though. Honestly, you were glad for it. You were glad for each and every connection you made tonight with those strangers. You weren’t sure if Kim Seokjin had set it all up or if each one had approached from their own curiosity. A mixture of both, maybe. Before, they had all been only pretty faces. A shallow judgement for each individual’s hopes, dreams, and realities. You were sure that was Seokjin’s plan – for you to see for yourself what kind of world you were in.
Maybe not so vapid after all.
A little silly, perhaps.
“Hmph, well, at least I can thank you for not letting me walk into a porn scene.”
You winced as Kim Seokjin folded his arms. You both had stopped at the end of the hallway with Seokjin waving the guards away to speak to you directly. Your feet were mildly hurting from standing up for so long. It could have also been due to the emotionally draining past hour.
“I had no intentions of that,” you protested.
Those perfect brows furrowed in disbelief. “Uh huh.”
You made a face. “Nothing was happening back there.”
“Uh huh,” Seokjin tittered again.
You couldn’t keep looking up at him anymore. He held a hand up as you shifted your eyes to the wall, crossing your arms too. Mostly to keep warm. And to hide a bit.
“Nu uh, I don’t want to know what dirty things you two were talking about.”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “It’s not like that–”
Seokjin cut you off abruptly. “Did it help?” he inquired pointedly. “Did smashing one of my most expensive bottles of alcohol provide the catharsis you were looking for?”
You felt your cheeks heat. “S-Sorry, I’ll pay for it–”
“Hmph!” He sounded and looked offended. “I don’t need money. I have plenty of that. What I don’t have plenty of is somewhat sane people in my life. I watched you destroy public property and slap one of my security guys as if it was a normal Friday night for you.”
You cowered a bit. “Ah… I’ll apologize to him too.”
Seokjin sighed. He was a refined man with a hint of childishness that gave him eternal youth.
“I was glad to see it.”
He laughed slightly, shaking his head. You stared at him.
“I was nearly afraid that dating Jeon Jungkook had broken you.”
Wait.
“Broken me?”
His large shoulders slumped a little. “Ah, it was… It was so obvious. With Jungkook, too. It was as if the light had been sucked out of him. And you. There was a coldness about you that formed. I worried if you could hear all the whispers behind hands. Hoped Jungkook-ah had shielded you from them or, I don’t know, made you impervious somehow. But you could feel it too, couldn’t you? The ostracization. And he had contributed to it, in time.”
He had noticed.
That was enough to touch your heart.
You faltered. “It’s none of your fault. Or his circle of friends.”
Seokjin waved his hand. “Of course not. But it was still there. Hearing mindless droning all day is still a minor annoyance that builds up to a hornet’s nest over time. And I – no, we – spoke up too late.” He lowered his arms, defeated. “There isn’t much I can do, I know. But I wanted you to know that not everyone among us feels that way. Not everyone has their head in the clouds. Not just my circle of friends, but lots of people in this industry are good people with good intentions who are much better at comforting words than I am.”
You felt a surge of gratitude. Maybe for the first time tonight, you felt like crying. You lifted your head to soft, black brown eyes that were the windows to a big heart.
“Thank you.”
He seemed taken aback. “Ah… Right. Yes, you’re welcome,” he mumbled awkwardly.
You bowed to him.
“S-Stop that!” He smacked your shoulder with a mix of panic and defiance. “Don’t be ridiculous. And, anyway, I didn’t even succeed! You still ended up in an altercation with that big-nosed dongsaeng of mine. Hah…”
You laughed a little. “Ah, I’m sorry about that too. It was my fault he was so riled up.”
Seokjin gave you a contemptuous look that would put even the most disapproving aunt to shame. “No, really?”
You tried not to laugh. He was making it very difficult. It was probably the designer suit and corporately-parted hair mixed with his cartoonish reaction. “Please don’t be too hard on him.”
He made a disgruntled face as if he had to deal with an obnoxious puppy. “You should be worried about me. I’m sure he’s back there stomping his feet and being a stubborn little shit. Hah, well. I’ll have security escort you to your car waiting outside. Don’t slap anybody.”
You pouted. His youthfulness was infectious. “Aish, I won’t. I know my limits.”
“If only your other half did.” Seokjin threw up his hands in exasperation. “Go before I change my mind.”
He wouldn’t.
You backed off anyway, letting Seokjin saunter off, and was greeted halfway to the door by a kind security guard who didn’t ask if you were going to slap him. He did seem amused though. He was professional enough to keep it to himself, leading you to a side entrance where a black car was waiting to take you home after a very long and enlightening night.
-
Night felt different now.
Days felt different too, but the change wasn’t as obvious due to the hours consumed by work. There was plenty of distraction during the day, although you became strangely aware to how the world seemed different. How the sunlight seemed brighter. How there seemed to be a rhythm to the birds’ wings as they flapped away. How you occasionally caught yourself scanning the faces on streets, looking for something.
Someone.
But the sunset is when you noticed the shadows dancing around you. As the day died, you watched people slip from their responsibilities to their desires. A warm meal. A visit to the store to pick up a visual treat or a world within pages. A chance to see a familiar face, ending in a hug or, if lucky, a kiss. Stories within bodies.
You, too.
You found yourself at the movie theater again. You spent a moment, scanning the titles, picking an action movie you had never heard of. Even splurged for the popcorn, shaking it up in the bag with the salty, garlicky powder getting on your fingertips. You spotted a few clusters of friends. Couples. But also a few single individuals that were busy getting comfortable in their seats, placing their belongings just so, as if they did this all the time.
So, you too, sat down and placed your black bow purse beside you, adjusting your popcorn bag to the perfect snacking distance. It was exciting as the lights dimmed to black, enjoying the music score in surround sound, sucked into another world of imaginary action that you could safely enjoy despite all the bullets.
With popcorn, of course.
It felt different now.
It was only after you made your way home that you realized why.
And you smiled.
Another night, you decided to stop by the mall. Not to buy anything really, but to listen to the music at each of the stores. In this day and age of everything online, it was rare for you to make the effort. It was different now though, somehow. Honestly, not so bad. You purchased an overpriced drink and pretended to look at all the clothes as you listened to what was popular right now. Occasionally, you heard something interesting and pulled out your phone to search for the title of the song vis one of the lyrics, the usual way you used to do it. There were definitely apps for identifying songs instantly now, you thought, but there was something hands on and extra satisfying of replicating an old process.
You found yourself in front of a wall of skirts.
You looked up at the colors, the patterns, and saw nothing of what was currently in your wardrobe.
At work, you were required to dress semi-professionally. A lot of single-color blouses, long black skirts, simple silhouette dresses. A cardigan was your idea of spicing it up. In fact, today you were in a maroon button-up blouse with a high neck and billowy sleeves, and your signature long black skirt. Black heels with a cross strap detail, nothing special. Before, while you were dating Jungkook, you had borrowed a lot of clothes, as they had been required for specific events. Transactions. Nothing you personally owned, nor needed to. Even the small, tight dresses that you had purchased for dates you didn’t own anymore. You had donated them all. They had been purchased with the intent to look like a model’s girlfriend. Not to look like, well.
Yourself.
A pink gingham miniskirt with small red strawberries stitched onto it caught your eye.
You left the store with a brown bag with a few parcels wrapped in pink tissue paper and a lighter bank account. Did you know where you were going to wear these clothes? Nope. It was different, buying without a purpose, and yet.
It was an excuse to find an occasion.
You settled on a bench with a smile.
You held your drink and lifted your head, watching people walk past. Seeing glimpses of their stories through the windows of shops. A surprised face at seeing something they wanted. A look of bliss once they took a sniff of a scented candle. A wringing of hands in front of a gift shop, running out of time and paralyzed by decision. You took a sip, wondering if they would be successful. Your thoughts wandered, as they always did. I have someone. Individual realities parallel to yours, with the occasional interaction a demonstration of interaction. Moments that required moving against the natural course for a purpose. Sometimes a brief purpose, and sometimes entangled because they wanted to be.
The question was, did you want to be?
You had become aware of how your line had been. Dulled by distraction, lacking intersections, moving the lonely course without remorse. All the small things becoming a blur of monotony. The roses had become colorless from the coldness that you had inadvertently held onto.
Bit by bit, you were finding color once more.
You stood up with your empty cup, hurrying to find the appropriate trash can to dispose it in.
“Hey, excuse me!”
You started.
A mother with her arm around a small child’s shoulders waved at you. “Your shopping.”
“Oh, sh–sorry!”
You went back, bowing repeatedly as you picked up the brown bag, startled that you had forgotten your quite expensive purchases. The child shook their head at you. You sheepishly laughed, letting yourself be scolded by the kid. “An adult shouldn’t be so careless!” Well, that was a bit harsh, but you thanked them anyway, waving as you parted.
You turned around, returning to your escape route.
Careless, huh?
Maybe the kid was right.
Someone in black was walking down the path. A man. He was walking fast. An oversized grey beanie with dark hair poking out. Body drowning in a slashed black hoodie and ripped jeans. Black boots. Black face mask. It was a bit odd because he was wearing sunglasses inside. Still, there was no reason for you to look twice. He looked up.
Somehow you knew your eyes had met.
You slowed down.
Jeon Jungkook slowed down, reaching up to remove his glasses.
Would your eyes have met if you hadn’t had to double back to retrieve your shopping bag?
If you weren’t careless?
You saw him catch his breath as soon as he knew it was you. You weren’t sure how he knew. Then again, how did you know? This entire adventure had been on a whim. He stopped at a reasonable distance from you, and half-lowered his face mask, as if to greet you. But neither of you could utter a word. You held your small black purse that you haven’t changed in several years. It was a simple design with the designer embossed in very small font above a leather bow sewed flush to the front. Unremarkable, really, unless you knew.
And he knew, because Jungkook had brought it for you.
The first gift at the very beginning. He looked from the bag to you. Wondering if he should comment on it. He hesitated, and you understood why. Two parallel lines. No interaction would occur unless one moved against the natural course and doing so would be, well.
Careless.
“I hope,” you started, cautiously. Something flickered in those big brown orbs. “I hope Kim Seokjin didn’t scold you too much.”
He lowered his head a bit, half-laughing and half-scowling. “I did get a scolding for causing a commotion.”
“It was my fault,” you acknowledged once again.
He shook his head. “No, it was mine.”
You half-smiled. “Wanna fight about it?”
Jungkook raised his head, still holding onto the bottom of his face mask. You could see the mirth in his stance. It was almost as if there wasn’t a weighing limbo trapped between you and him.
“Actually, yeah.”
Almost immediately, you saw him falter, as if he knew he shouldn’t say something like that. You felt a sting witnessing it. He opened his mouth, and you almost heard it, his casual, just kidding, and this wasn’t like him at all.
“Hey, Jungkook.”
You interrupted him before he could add, just kidding. He stiffened, exposing hints of the printed white t-shirt under the tears of his hoodie. You were both occupying space on the walkway. People needed to walk around, some unbothered, some slighted by the inconvenience. His name on your tongue felt foreign and familiar at the same time. An end and a beginning all at once.
I have someone.
So did you.
You smiled.
“It’s really good to see you out and about.”
His eyes widened. You hoped he could tell that you meant it. “Yeah.” He cleared his throat a bit, trying to eliminate the sudden croak. “Yeah. You too. I’m…” His eyes shifted a bit. He was always focused on you, regardless. “I’m glad I ran into you today.”
And maybe that was it.
You were okay with that, though. That might have previously been a lie, but not now. It was probably unnecessary to say. Perhaps you had spoken up for some sort of closure, for both you and him. A chapter ended in some way.
He rubbed the back of his neck, ticking his head to the brown bag by your side. “You came to shop today?”
You held it up halfway with a chuckle. “Ah, well… It wasn’t the plan. Ended up that way.” You noticed the way he intently observed your actions. Couldn’t avoid it, really. You lowered the bag, not hiding even though it was maybe the better thing to do. “What about you?”
He paused. Had he forgotten already? You watched him gain his bearings with bemused patience.
“Ah, I…”
Jungkook looked and sounded embarrassed.
“What the hell,” he muttered, shaking his head. “Actually, I cancelled a shoot last minute.”
Your head tilted. “I’m surprised. That’s not like you.”
His pink lips upturned. You could spot that tiny mole underneath them, right at the center. “Yeah…” He trailed off, unable to meet your gaze. Ashamed, almost.
“It’s okay, though,” you offered. You hated to see that expression on his face. “You did what you felt was right. These things happen.”
He scoffed, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I haven’t cancelled a shoot since…” He stopped.
You waited.
Jungkook glanced at you. You saw a pink twinge dust across his cheekbones.
“Since I first asked you out.”
You blinked at him. “What are you talking about?” You frowned. “I don’t remember anything like that.”
He winced and looked up at the ceiling, rocking on his heels a bit. “Actually, I… I lied. I pretended I wasn’t getting any bookings. Just to spend time with you in the beginning. But, uh, then I felt guilty. I wasn’t the man I thought I needed to be. The man you deserved.” He sighed, yanking one of his hands out to scratch his eyebrow absentmindedly. “But maybe I never was, because then I got swept up in all that bullshit.”
Jungkook looked down.
“I know it’s too late to say such things now.”
He seemed to collapse a little bit despite his tall frame.
“Now, it’s…” He sighed. “I can’t concentrate at all. I keep asking myself what I’m doing. For a while there I kept working in hopes that you would…” He grimaced again, but chose to ramble on anyway. “So you would still see me everywhere. Stupid, huh? And now it’s just…” He shook his head. “I think I should give up.”
You didn’t know what to say.
He took a deep breath and straightened. “Ah, my bad. I went on for nothing.” Bowing slightly, backing away. “I have a lot on my mind. I didn’t expect to run into you and now I’ve run my mouth like a madman.”
“Jungkook.”
His name came out of your mouth before you registered it. He stopped moving, looking back at you, halfway between pulling up his face mask. You struggled to find the words, clutching your unexpected purchases and your racing heart, his first present to you against your ribs.
“Don’t give up.”
You made sure not to break eye contact.
“It’s not like you to give up, you know. It’s my… my favorite thing about you.”
He seemed stunned.
“R… Really?”
You couldn’t help but smile. Nervously albeit fiercely determined.
“One of many.” You relaxed a bit, relieved that you were able to say so. You laughed a little at the absurdity of it all. “Although perhaps we need to stop doing these kinds of things in public.”
Jungkook jumped, seemingly realizing all the people around too. “Ah… Whoops.”
You bowed as you spoke. “Then, I’ll…”
The way he said your name, so soft and dreamlike, made you freeze mid-movement. He seemed flustered, stepping a little closer to you. It was the correct moment to pull back, replace some respective distance between you and him to keep a measure of strangers, and yet.
You let your eyes meet his under wisps of black hair sticking out of his beanie.
“Can we spend a little more time together? If it’s not too much trouble?”
It was. You had work tomorrow. You needed to get home and put away your things. Wash up. Do your nightly routine to unwind. Get back to being a responsible adult with responsibilities living a responsible life.
Your lips curved into a mischievous smile.
“Sure.”
-
“Where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere.”
You were standing by his motorbike now. His pride and joy, yet you knew it was rarely used in his day-to-day life. For the best, probably, considering the risk. You weren’t surprised to see it today though. He always rode when he felt frustrated or out of it. The walk here had been silent, which you had expected. Jungkook was the king of speaking without a plan. You didn’t mind it, though. It reminded you of good times.
He awkwardly shuffled, obviously realizing that himself now.
“Hey.”
“Uh?” he answered distractedly.
“Why did you ask me out back then?”
He fumbled with his hands a bit. “Ah, that’s…”
You tilted your head, patiently waiting.
“I…” He stuttered a bit. Cleared his throat again. “I just couldn’t help but look twice. I thought you were hot as hell.”
You almost snorted. “Don’t you encounter enough of that at work?” you chuckled.
He shook his head. “No, it’s more like… Um, even if they’re attractive, everyone knows it is pretty for a purpose. They’re all taking care of themselves. Looks are the selling point, after all.” He poked at his own chest. “Me too.” He raised his head to you. “But you’re different. You don’t have to think about how you look will reflect in a paycheck. You take care of yourself for yourself.”
You thought about it. It didn’t seem that extraordinary. “Well, anybody can do that.”
He smirked.
“If anybody could do it, why could I only see you?”
Heat rushed to your cheeks. You raised a hand to smack him and stopped short. Instead, you let your hand fall and half-rolled your eyes. “Ehhh, don’t try to pull that stuff on me.”
He laughed behind his hand. “Have to try.”
You frowned with feigned annoyance. Jungkook had always been taller than you, even in heels, assuming you weren’t opting for miniature stilts. Still, you always had the impression he was never looking down at you, but up, even when his eyes were downcast.
“Yeah, that.”
You narrowed your eyes. “What?”
“That look you’re giving me right now,” he chuckled sheepishly. “I knew you’d be able to balance me out and set me straight.”
You squinted at him. You let out a puff of air and looked away, tumbled into memories where maybe you could have been the one to change the course of these parallel lines. “Yeah, and look where that got us,” you muttered.
Sigh.
Somewhere behind you, a car honked loudly.
“Standing next to each other?” Jungkook quietly asked.
Two cars were having trouble at an intersection at the end of the row.
Standing next to each other.
Your gaze drifted back and locked with his. He didn’t try to hide the emotions his eyes. You were quite sure he could see through you too. The impasse remained, not because a bridge couldn’t be built, but because it couldn’t bear to be burned once more. Once more meant it would crumble to ash and disappear forever. You had thought it already had, until tonight.
You tried to reason with the unreasonable. “You cannot believe you skipping work and me deciding to spend a good chunk of my paycheck to mean some serendipitous shit, can you?” you scoffed.
He gave you that brilliant smile that had tamed you from the very beginning.
“You–”
You poked him hard in the chest.
“Ahh!”
Jungkook must not have expected that at all.
He almost fell over.
Your hand shot out and grabbed a fistful of his hoodie, dragging him back. His body lurched, slightly off balance, and your elbow swung forward, bracing onto his abs, leaving your faces close enough together for bystanders to get the wrong idea. For him to get the wrong idea. For you, too. You were close enough to count his eyelashes.
Enough time elapsed that you might as well have.
“What… What is with you?” you muttered, gripping his clothes. “You’re so… dramatic.”
He had another piercing on the side of his right lip now. Huh. How come you didn’t notice? Probably too busy being mad at him. Or not staring at his lips in fear of indecent thoughts. This current proximity and shared heat were not helping. His hands were somehow on your shoulders. Probably to steady himself. Or something else. You weren’t sure.
Jungkook stared at your lips.
You didn’t back away.
He leaned down and kissed you.
He must be an idiot to put you both in this position again. You must be an idiot too, because you kissed him back. Fuck it. Your hand on his chest relaxed, fingers spreading out, pressing your lips to his, breathing him in. He still used the same cologne you had complimented on back then. It made you smile into his lips. His tense hands on your shoulders fluttered, one slipping down to your upper arm, the other grazing your neck. His thumb brushing the side of your cheek. His other fingers weaving into your hair, tilting his head slightly. No promises, but.
A dream made.
You tapped his chest, forcing him to break the connection.
“W… What?” Jungkook gasped, his short breath mixing into yours.
“Not… Not here,” you chuckled, feeling your racing pulse in your throat. “I think we’ve done enough public reconciliation. Adding public indecency is not it. Someone is going to recognize you soon.”
Those shadowed eyes watching you were telling you he was ready to risk it.
“No,” you gritted, punching his chest lightly. Surprisingly, Jungkook did not budge and held on very strongly to your arm. “Stop that. Stop it with the sex eyes.”
He grinned. You could tell from the way his eyes crinkled. “Is it working?”
You pried yourself from him with some effort.
“All you’re telling me is that you really like handcuffs.”
“Promise?”
You straightened your clothes and answered absentmindedly. “Promise what?” You looked up to give him an indignant expression. He took your purchases to place them in the back of his motorcycle, giving you no verbal response.
Just a sneaky smirk in return.
-
“What did you think was gonna happen?”
“Uh…”
Before he could make another sound, you grabbed Jeon Jungkook by the collar and dragged him to you.
It was different.
Just not in the way you thought it would be.
Part of you thought to hold back. Build a solid foundation to see if this would work. Talk for a long while, move slow, step by recommended step. Then again, if you actually believed that, you would have instructed him to take you back to your apartment. Maybe send him off with a kiss and a pat on the head. You know. The complete opposite of shoving him up against his living room wall and tracing your tongue over his moaning lips with his hands gripping your waist. If this was going to work, it was always going to work. It didn’t matter if it was the wrong way or the right way.
This love was either going down in a blaze of glory or start an everlasting fire.
Might as well get on the ride.
You let him kiss down your neck, your hands sliding down to his. Interlocking fingers. Shivering at the sensation of his lips in your skin, familiar and new. Body-to-body. You pulled up his hands to force him to lose the top layers, including the beanie, exposing his toned chest and gleaming tattoos going from his right hand to his shoulder. His hoodie and t-shirt fell to the floor in a soft thump. His hair was different than when you had last seen him. Sides shaven, the top still long, messy black waves due to being crammed into the beanie. He flicked his head back, sending black strands all over his half-moon eyes, glistening pink lips parted in a soundless gasp.
You took his wrists and pinned Jungkook to the wall.
Panting, watching him under you despite looking upwards.
“W… What?” he breathed, locked in your transfixed stare.
It was different, yet it was the same. You could feel it. There could have been many others between the last time and right now. You knew there wasn’t. It was both sad and validating, because you knew how much he hated being alone, but now you knew there was truth to those promises he had said to you between sheets and pillows.
You leaned down and licked a wet, fat stripe over his chest, dripping saliva all over him.
Jungkook moaned, leaning his head against the wall.
“You belong to me,” you whispered over his heart. Raised your head and he was looking back at you.
Only you.
“I belong to you,” he whispered back.
You skimmed your lips over his skin.
“Prove it to me.”
He surrendered.
To your tongue, tracing patterns over his collarbones. To your lips, dotting kisses and making him flinch, whining for more. To your hands, holding him down and at your mercy, exploring him with sight, touch, and taste. You let go of one of his wrists to trail your nails over his abdomen, observing the way his body rippled, lifting towards you as sensitivity increased. You let your fingers wander, around his waist and into shaded territory, running your nails down his spine, watching his reaction. His head tilted back, hair in wisps around his temples, dark eyes clouded in lust.
Your name slipped from his lips.
You dug your nails into his lower back and pulled yourself up, unable to keep the side of your lips from curving upwards at his delicious whines.
“Take off my blouse.”
His fingertips slid across the slinky maroon fabric. Button by button, the fabric began to unravel in his hands, your forehead to his as he did so. You took his breath, tracing his muscles, murmuring his name just to feel him shiver as he heard it.
“I never had anyone else after you,” he mumbled, circling one of the buttons with his thumb. “I couldn’t.”
“You could have,” you hummed. “You were a free man.”
Jungkook undid the last button and stared into your eyes.
“No, I’m not.”
You half-smiled. “I wouldn’t take it personally.”
He leaned in again, brushing your lips with his.
“I belong to you.”
His touch, his kiss, the dance of mesmerizing senses. You stepped back. He followed. Tangled in each other, your blouse slipping off and dropping to the floor. Your bra unclasped, tumbling, his hands all over, places he had been a million times and desiring forevermore, squeezing your breasts with his hands, almost tripping over your skirt as you stepped out of it. His pants joined the trail of passion, and then his tongue was on you, lifting you in his arms and tasting your hard nipples with your hands in his hair, clutching his head for support with your legs around his waist.
“I’m going to fall,” you gasped, breathless.
“Over my dead body,” was the muffled answer with his face buried into your breasts. “Fuck, I love your ass.”
Perhaps to avoid death getting two for the price of one, Jungkook let you down, devouring you with kisses with your taste lingering on his lips, sinking his fingers into the soft curves. You curled your tongue against his, making him moan, hips grinding against hips, feeling his insistent hardness against your softness, trapping himself between your legs. You were still in your panties and he was still in his boxer briefs, although the thin fabrics were merely a nuisance to the inevitable.
“Jungkook…”
He was thrusting into you and jamming his cock in between your thighs, his strong arms wrapped around you and his teeth on your shoulder. You hummed, torn between telling him off and enjoying the feeling of his arousal swelling between your legs, but it was he who gasped and threw his head back, his hard length twitching against your clothed pussy.
“You ready to include me in this?” you questioned, amused.
“S-Sorry… Can’t help myself…”
Somehow, by instinct and minor effort, you were both in his bedroom now. The familiar bed you had once called yours, remembering the future dreamed upon those white sheets. Jungkook pulled you to them, calling you to the paradise that could only be created between two. Don’t, was your meek protest as he pulled down your panties and kneaded your thighs, shaking his head, I don’t care, and his tongue slid over your heat. Wet, dripping, your sweet taste and his saliva. He moaned between your legs, decorating you with kisses before sliding his tongue over you, drinking you desperately, you taste so fucking good, fuck, and your fingers buried into the sheets. He remembered everything you liked. Steady, soft licks, then harder when your legs tensed, tipping his head to bring his lips around your clit, drenching his chin with your wetness.
His hands turned and slipped under your legs, dragging you to his face by your ass.
“F-Fuck, Jungkook…”
You reached down and gripped his hair as you came on his face, his muffled gasp of surprise drowned out by the moan produced through your arched back and prolonged euphoria. Fuck. Fuck, it hadn’t been evident how much you missed this, no, him, your knuckles against the crown of his head, his hot tongue all over, his fingers locked onto your ass, even the way his nose brushed against your oversensitive clit as he thrust his tongue into your pussy, triggering another wave of pleasure, sparking electricity that burned through your veins.
His.
He pulled himself up with a groan, his mouth all over your body. Leaving bites, kisses, licks in his lustful wake. Your nails dug into his shoulder and he made that whimper you loved, obviously wanting more, and so you clawed his upper back as he pretended to resist you, refusing to move higher as he sucked on your nipples, gazing at you under half-lidded eyes, rubbing your other nipple between his fingers.
“Take it,” you growled under your breath.
He did, rubbing his hard, neglected cock against your thigh, denying himself longer.
Over time, you had hesitated to do such things. Jungkook had gotten in trouble before for being marked up. After all, his body was his selling point, and booking back-to-back shoots with poor choices in between ended up in humiliation. Unjustly so, perhaps, but you never did it again. Maybe you should have been more considerate this time too, but, no, that wasn’t what he was asking for.
He wanted the consequences of you.
He brought his face close to yours, your orgasm still on his breath.
“Mark me,” Jungkook demanded, his voice low and deep and gravelly. “I’m yours.”
So you did.
Hickeys on his perfect neck, sharp nails over his ass as you pushed down his underwear, adorning him with fierce, vicious passion that bruised him. He kissed your forehead, buried his fingers in your hair, and pinned you to him, pre-cum dripping onto your hip as he kicked off his restraints, pressing his hardness to you.
“You’ll get in trouble,” you warned even though the damage was already done.
“I don’t care,” he retorted, his thigh rubbing against your still-wet pussy. “I don’t care if I have to cancel the rest of the week. I don’t care if I never work in the modeling industry again. The only thing I care about is making sure you always know how much I love you.”
You froze, your lips above the inked floral mandala on his right shoulder.
“I should have made time.”
His arms drew up and encircled your head, his lips against the crown.
“I’m so, so sorry for not realizing how disrespectful I was to you. And I won’t do it again,” he murmured, leaving kisses intertwined with your hair. “I promise.”
“I…”
You reached up and held his shoulders, anchored despite the turbulence of an emotional sea.
“I missed being by your side, Jungkook.”
If his hard dick wasn’t literally throbbing against your hip, you might have cried.
You reached down and touched him.
“Ah!”
“Woah.” Your arm hooked around his waist as your hand enclosed around his girth. “I’m just making sure he’s keeping interest even during this emotional breakthrough.”
His cheeks flushed as he realized he had chosen his moment with possibly suboptimal timing. He didn’t have to worry. His body seemed to recognize your hand right away. You could feel the way his cock eagerly twitched on your palm. You cocked an eyebrow. He gave you a the-fuck-you-expect look, and you curled two fingers around his balls, lightly massaging with the pads of your fingers, simulating your tongue. He gasped, gripping your shoulders.
You leaned down and spit in your hand.
“F-Fuck!”
You backed up and slowly, leisurely, spread the slippery saliva all over his cock, letting him adjust his knees to give you a better positioning. Your other arm had moved behind you, lifting your torso up as you jacked him off. He seemed to not know what to do with his hands, foreign objects in his possession before his eye line drifted down. Down. His fingers trailed over your breasts, squeezing them and playing with your nipples as you increased the pace.
“Handcuffs could come in handy right now,” you commented.
He glared at you.
“S… Shut up.”
His cock had throbbed at the suggestion though.
You tilted your head, watching his breathing quicken as you applied the pressure where he liked it, the same pulse every time, not too fast and not too slow, building the frustration with a smile.
His face tensed.
Faster. A little tighter. Your thumb rubbed just under the base of the head with every ascent. He placed his palms against your hard nipples and you felt the familiar snap of his hips, leaning into your hand, his eyelashes fluttering, and for a brief moment you considered stopping.
Then again, these weren’t your sheets.
He gasped out your name and shot all over your stomach and thigh.
Hot, thick cum splattered onto your skin, making you suck in a breath as you felt it, saw it, smelled it, intense and strong and all over you. You were lucky it was on the thicker side, white streaks sticking to your body rather than running off. A painting of perverse proportions. Jungkook stared at his work, still semi-hard in your hand, clearly turned on by the sight. You sent him a questioning look.
“What now?”
Then he shocked you, and probably himself, by diving down and running his warm tongue over your cum-covered skin.
“Oh, what–”
Instant burning tingles spread throughout your nerves at the contact, vibrating through to your core, dripping as you witnessed the milky white coat his tongue. Your hand touched his shoulder, drawing him up, and he was tamed by your gesture, rising, his lips smeared with his release, and you drew closer to the heavy scent, to him. Lips to lips. Drank it from his mouth, swallowing the mixture of saliva and orgasm. Your tongue tangled in his, his fingers in between your legs again, thrusting two fingers into you, following the pull you had on him. Deep, slow, faster as the kiss grew more intense, breath to consumed breath, rolling your hips up into his hand, tightening around him, and Jungkook moaned, getting harder in your hand as your slick arousal drenched his.
“Condom?”
They spilled over the bed in his haste.
You were pleased to see it was the same brand you usually enjoyed. There wasn’t much to be read into that, though, because they had become his favorite as well per your introduction. You wondered if there would be a second first-time awkwardness and you were immediately proven wrong from the desperate and experienced way Jungkook dragged your ass to line up his dick. There was no time to be anxious, it seemed.
“You’ve acting like you’ve never had me before,” you teased.
Those dark eyes narrowed. “Don’t act like you don’t have the tightest, most perfect pussy I’ve ever been in.”
You half-shrugged. “Things could change.”
He slid in and clenched his jaw.
“You liar.”
You smirked and closed in around his length.
“F-Fuuuuuuuck me…”
You could have probably kept it up if it wasn’t for how fucking good he felt inside you. Just the right girth, and he lifted your legs, deeper, gasping, reaching the depth you liked. Your thighs against his chest. You locked eyes. Jungkook cocked an eyebrow with a familiar smirk. The corner of your lips ticked upward, and the rough, powerful pace began, your hand gripping his tattooed forearm and the other the sheets, losing yourself to the pleasure, pressed between the mattress and his hard body. His eyes closed, your lashes fluttering, witnessing glimpses of bliss, whispers of sweet nonsense lost between moans, leaning your head back onto his pillows, sinking into his scent.
Belonging to him.
His hair flicked sweat onto your chest. Your hand on the bed bent back and shoved the pillows down, using the leverage to lift your hips to his thrust, moaning at the visceral sound of slapping hips, wet and loud and vibrating throughout the room.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he panted out between gasps. “Fuck, you’re so fucking beautiful.”
You tried to deliver a compliment back but it was getting harder and harder to breathe. Your orgasm abruptly interrupted any coherent though, forcing you to bury your head back and endure the vice-grip of wanton delirium, barely able to gasp out his name as the hot wave dragged you under, your inner walls viciously pulsing all around his length. You heard Jungkook groan and attempt to say something, probably how much he enjoyed feeling your orgasm, he had done so before, however he seemed to be in his own dilemma as well, clenching his jaw and snapping his head down, the muscles of his chest taut and tense, and, in your intoxicated haze, you realized he was attempting not to follow, but.
“Fuck!”
He slammed his cock into you and cursed, throwing his head back as you felt the jerk of his cock spilling into the condom, trapped in your tightness, dragged into the kind of fever that couldn’t be sweat out, sinking down, down.
You stilled, suspended in bliss.
It was a little easier to breathe now. You missed this. Him, specifically. The sex you had together, carnal and intense and unparalleled. Closed your eyes, breathing hard, feeling the familiarity of Jungkook on top of you, spent, sweaty, frantic for round two. He didn’t like stopping if he could help it. It was one of his best traits. You felt him lower your legs carefully, backing out of you with a hiss.
Then you heard a wet, dirty sound.
You opened one eye.
He was staring at your body.
Running his fingers over his still-hard cock, bringing it back to full hardness.
“Let me look at you.”
You hummed. “You’re only seeing one side.”
His dark eyes shifted up to yours.
“Okay. Turn over.”
Desire turned his voice deeper, huskier.
With a sly smile, you rolled over, and scooted onto your knees, spreading your ass for him. You heard him suck in a breath, that’s so fucking sexy, and you flexed, letting him watch, entrancing him with the visual and the obvious sound of your wetness.
“Every part of you is perfect.” You could hear him jacking himself off, hard and fast. “Fucking perfect.”
“I feel that your judgement is clouded right now,” you answered back, muffled by his pillows in your face.
You heard the ripping sound and then a groan as he rolled down the condom. Then his strong hands grabbed your hips, prompting you to let go, and he sank into you.
“Fuck no, it’s not,” he gasped, picking you up by the hips to fully sheath himself. You managed to pull a pillow to your chest to allow ample breathing room. “I don’t want anyone else. No one else can satisfy me.”
You made your pussy tighten around him and he moaned again, his hot breath washing down your spine.
“Then let me satisfy you,” you purred, leaning back into him.
Your ass met his crotch in a loud, gratifying smack, easily locking into a rhythm you both enjoyed. Hard, aggressive, powerful, not holding back, you lifting a hand to extend back, and he caught your forearm, thrusting deeply as he held onto you. All of his power was directed below, the grip on your arm simply a symbol of possession, forcing you to lift your head and arch your back, adjusting to that more fruitful angle, sending heat all throughout your blood and nerves, the tension building, louder, harder, more.
He let you go, and you bucked back against him.
Moaned your name, delicious and desperate, begging you.
It was hard to count your orgasms. They seemed to blend into one another, entangled with the passion and the beat, not wanting to stop even as you struggled to breathe, clutching the pillow so hard that you could still feel your nails digging into your palm. The lust searing and yet not enough, chasing more, wanting more, wanting him, only him, your only, the one that belonged to you.
Your head tipped back, seeing only fragments of your surroundings, your hair a mess over your face.
“Jungkook, I love you,” you gasped.
You felt his hips flinch and he moaned your name, long and drawn-out, his hard cock jolting inside you, gripping your hips so tightly you probably had imprints of his fingertips. There was a flurry of expletives and panting. The haze of inexplicable euphoria settling, unavoidable and desired. You closed your eyes, savoring his release, feeling the radiating vibrations of his high pour into you as he slid down, his hot hands over your back, his shuddering exhales warming your shoulder blades.
Sweat, in small shivering droplets, sprinkled onto your skin.
“I love you too.”
He pressed his fingertips into your rising and falling body, touching you all over, confessing to your racing heart beneath his lips.
“I love you so fucking much.”
-
“Are you sure about this?”
“Yeah, totally.”
You turned your head to see Jungkook staring at your tits. You tucked a knuckle under his chin and forced it up. He gave you the big-peepers-in-headlights look.
“Huh?”
“Are you sure about this?” you repeated once more.
He gave you a confused look. “Yeah. I thought we talked about it?”
You raised an eyebrow. “Pardon me, but I’m not sure how much I can trust a discussion we were having with you balls deep inside me.”
“Eh?” His lower lip upturned. “Why not?”
You rubbed your temple with two fingers. “Why not, hah…”
“I meant it.”
You pulled one of his pillows over your naked chest so he could focus. You weren’t even sure why he had these. Jungkook slept on one of those stiff cylindrical pillows that was supposedly more comfortable. You weren’t too sure about how good that was for his neck, but sometimes you just have to accept the strangeness of your significant other. He must have kept these for the look of a nicely made bed. Or for moments like this. His eyes went back to your face again, reluctantly. He seemed a little disappointed.
“You don’t think I meant it?”
You saw his eyes were drifting to your thighs now. “It’s not really that…” You considered it. “It’s more… Well, we’ve tried already, you know. Aren’t you afraid it’ll happen again?”
His gaze shifted. You waited, letting him collect his thoughts.
“Afraid?” You saw him reflect the past and the mistakes. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am. I’m definitely going to change from how I was before. I can see how my work-life balance was shit, as both a friend and boyfriend. I don’t want to go back to that either,” Jungkook mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I get it now. I can’t get time back. I was stupid, thinking me overworking myself wouldn’t drive you away, you know, we would have so much more time later… I went about it the worst way. I didn’t even discuss it with you. That was just me being selfish, and that selfishness made me insecure… I don’t want that anymore. I promise you that.” He shook his head and looked up at you guiltily. “Still… I can’t promise I won’t fuck up in some other way. And that scares me. But I have to act, even if I’m scared. Even if your final answer is, let’s not see each other anymore, at least I will have honestly given you my all this time, because you are it for me.”
You shook your head too. “There could be someone out there for you that is a lot more suitable than me. The world is the big place.”
He frowned, exasperated. “No. No, you don’t get it.” He placed a hand on your knee and looked into your eyes. “You are it for me. The world is big place, but my world is right here.” He poked you and you laughed, startled at the suddenness. A smile burst onto his face, holding your knee down, trying to drive his point home over your mirth. “Hey! Hey. I really meant it. All of it.”
You stopped laughing.
Somehow one of your hands was covering his now, feeling his warmth and hard knuckles in your palm.
“I belong to you,” Jungkook repeated, his own I love you. “I can’t love anyone else like how I love you. I don’t care if you believe me or not. Even if you leave me, sure, I might find someone to not be lonely with, but I will only belong to you.”
You held onto his hand, curling your fingers into his palm. “You…” This man was crazy, saying things like this. He affectionately squeezed your knee, flashing that killer smile of his.
“So… Yeah, I’m sure.”
He pulled his hand from under yours and touched your cheek, his knuckles against your skin.
“I’ll go along with whatever you choose.”
Truth was, you had already chosen.
“I’ll do my best too,” you murmured quietly, holding the pillow tightly. “I won’t let myself be complacent anymore.”
From the look in his eyes, you saw that Jungkook recognized that it had become an unintentional consequence of his actions. He smiled, still stroking your cheek.
“Yeah. Let’s be a team this time.”
You nodded, smiling back.
An extended silence of staring into each other’s eyes.
“Jungkook.”
“Hm?”
“Are you just imagining rubbing your dick on my cheek?”
His rough fingertips grazed over your jaw. “Yeah,” he replied dreamily.
You smacked his hand.
“Ow!”
“Pay attention!”
“W-Wha, what?” He pouted. “What am I supposed to do!”
You grimaced, feigning annoyance but also not really. This guy. “No wonder we could only have serious talks in public or incarcerated…” you muttered.
“Ah, yeah, that reminds me.”
You raised an eyebrow at him as he twisted around and reached over to his phone, watching the ripple of his back muscles as he moved. Damn. This guy. He bounced back, messing about on the screen. You were too busy admiring the definition of his arms to notice, until.
“What kind of handcuffs should we buy?” Jungkook chirped, turning his phone to showing you the screen display of a sex goods webstore.
You blinked at him.
“What.”
And thus begun round two.
-
epilogue
“Hey- oh, wow.”
You stilled, surprised.
‘Oh, I thought you were going to meet me there?”
In your hand was your well-loved small black purse with a bow. Your other hand held the door open, seeing the tall form of Jeon Jungkook gawking at you in his matching denim jacket and jeans. Calvin Klein, the same brand as his white t-shirt under the jacket. That same brand was holding a lunch event today, except one of their attendees was blocking your path, open-mouthed at your hips wrapped in a tight, pink gingham miniskirt with embroidered red strawberries. Then his stare went to your chest, to the emerald-green satin blouse that complimented the little green accents of the mini strawberries, although you suspected his interest was less in the color and more in the way the seams accentuated the curve of your breasts.
You raised your eyebrows.
“I… I left early. I wanted to pick you up,” he was saying absentmindedly.
You gestured to the black car waiting at the front. “I already ordered a car, though. I can’t ride with you on your bike in this skirt.”
“We can get in the car.” Jungkook’s eyes went back down. You knew he wasn’t admiring the delicate crisscross straps of your black velvet pumps. “Damn, your legs,” he mumbled.
The driver of the car was about to watch a live-action porno if you didn’t take action. You set the alarm and lock before stepping out. Immediately, Jungkook’s hand raised, as did his gaze. You looked from the tattooed hand to his face. He grinned, creating sparkles in his big dark brown eyes.
“I ran off, hehe. I just wanted to personally accompany my darling,” he admitted. “Hopefully no one noticed.”
You fitted your hand in his, letting him lead you. “You’re too handsome not to notice. What a troublemaker,” you joked, pleased at his rebellion.
“Your troublemaker now. Where are we eating?”
“There’s a French themed café near some shops. After, could we stop by the tea shop? My dad has a request I need to fulfill.”
“Ooo, I love adventures with my future wife.”
You gave him a curious smirk. His mischievous grin just kept getting bigger, that underlip mole suddenly visible like a secret wink. He had been dropping such hints lately. You pretended to gloss over it even though the discussion of dream rings had already happened months ago. You reached out to open the car door and Jungkook impatiently nudged your hand away, doing it for you so you could enter easily in your heels. It was a very nice thing to do.
Taehyung probably grilled such behaviors into him. Not that you were complaining, of course.
You confirmed the destination with the driver as Jungkook got in the car from the other side, taking care to hook his sunglasses on the front of his shirt. You heard his phone vibrate. You turned your head to see him snickering at it.
“Taehyungie’s mad that I left him alone.”
“Whoops.” You did feel a little bad.
He waved a hand, tongue in cheek. “He’ll get over it.”
Your eyes met.
He had such beautiful, expressive eyes that held the stars every time he saw you.
“You sure?” you asked quietly.
Jungkook reached over and stroked your cheek with a smile.
“I’m sure I want to eat lunch with my future wife, yup. Then I’ll buy tea for her dad so I can get on his good side.”
You laughed. “Sounds like a sweet master plan.”
His black hair loosely styled over his forehead made him look younger. You knew better. Perhaps grown was not the word for it, but you could tell he was becoming more and more of the man he wanted to be every day. Attending events with Jungkook was different these days; he checked on you throughout the night, actively included you in conversations, and even introduced you to people he thought you might enjoy talking to, now to the point that familiar faces would come up to you first before they recognized him. But what was more important was this – arranging quality time to spend together, more communication, and obvious commitment. The pleasant surprise not being flowers or sweets or other material things, and instead his presence earlier than expected.
His laugh at night.
His forehead kiss in the morning, even if you were half-awake in bed.
His silly photos of fogging up a makeup artist’s mirror with his breath and drawing a heart with your name inside it.
He still had a hectic schedule, but now you and him knew when enough was enough. You could finally talk about it before either of you became too stressed out or lonely by it. That improvement was worth that entire roller coaster to get here.
You smiled.
He smiled back, his knee touching yours.
He was still stroking your cheek.
“Jungkook.”
“Hm?”
“What are you thinking right now?”
He didn’t respond right away. He just adjusted his legs suspiciously and gave you his most innocent look that indicated he was most certainly guilty.
“Eh?”
You took him by the wrist and slowly lowered it before the driver could notice your partner-in-crime’s suspicious behavior. He pouted at you. The tent in his pants twitched. You cocked an eyebrow. Then you remembered something.
“Oh, by the way.”
He perked up. “What is it?”
You unzipped your purse a little bit and flashed the edge of shiny silver metal and chain.
“I borrowed something from a friend.”
Jungkook looked down.
Odd that it took him more than a moment to recognize handcuffs, considering that he – and you – had so much prior experience with them. His eyes went wide once it clicked. His cheeks flushed red. You smirked and rezipped your bag.
“What the fu–”
fin.
-
i hear... | ... the whispers... | ... in your eyes.
inspired by taylor swift's imgonnagetyouback :)
--
masterpost
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meetmypointlessaddiction · 3 months ago
Text
dumb and in love | l.howlett
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Summary: you and logan were friends but you were in love with him. too bad your flirting skills are below par.
Tags: really bad flirting from reader, fluff, slight ooc logan (?)
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“Just flirt with him babe. The man is clearly in love with you so where’s the harm in going for it?” Storm had joined you in your midnight kitchen adventure, the pair of you sitting at the counter snacking on some cereal as she listened to your boy problems. 
“And what if he’s just being nice? What if I ruin everything? Plus, I am too socially awkward to flirt. You saw what happened yesterday when I tried to flirt with him.” 
~~~~~~~~~~
Breakfast at the mansion was peaceful once the children were fed and out of the way. The adults could sit down and enjoy their food and could catch up. Logan and you had been talking, complaining about lessons, talking about plans to go out on the weekend, the normals stuff when you let it slip. 
“I think you’re cute.” Storm and Jean both looked your way, the pair of them knowing about your crush on Logan, but the man just looked at you confused. “I umm… I said can you pass me the fruit?” 
~~~~~~~~~~
“That wasn’t your fault, he wasn’t listening and it would’ve been awkward to repeat yourself. Look, the only way you’re ever gonna know if he feels the same is by asking him so go for it. Plus, if things got awkward, we’d much rather keep you here anyway, we’ll get rid of Logan.” Rolling your eyes at her as you stand and put the cereal away. As much as Storm was trying to encourage you, the thought of losing everything with Logan was enough to put you off the idea completely. You would just have to suffer in silence. 
For weeks after, you basically ignored Logan, avoiding him at meals, going to bed earlier than normal to avoid seeing him and not joining the group on their outings. Eventually, he decided to put a stop to it and cornered you in your classroom. “You’re avoiding me.” There was no room for arguing in his tone, you’d been caught out. 
“Mhm. I have a class to get to Logan, I’m covering for Sco-.” 
“No you’re not. Jean is covering for you. We’re talking about this. Now.” Well that was not how you were expecting this to go. “What have I done that’s made you hate my guts hmm?” 
“It’s not a you thing, it’s a me thing. I don’t hate you, I am just madly in love with you and I can’t flirt to save my life.” The truth came spilling out of your mouth before you could stop it and Logan just stared at you, mouth open before his lips quirked into a smirk. 
“Madly in love with me huh? I suppose I know the feeling.” It takes you a minute to realise what he said and for the dots to connect before it is your turn to stare gormlessly at him. 
“I beg your fucking finest pardon?” 
“Bub, I’ve been trying to drop hints for months but you’re too fucking dense to catch on. You think I make breakfast for everyone? Watch shitty chick flicks with everyone?” 
“I… I thought you were being nice?”
“You’re an idiot.”
Over time, you would learn that that phrase was his version of ‘I love you’, the phrase that he had said so many times to you over the course of your friendship was his way of loving you.
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please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed, it encourages me to write more :)
Dividers: @coolcatsgraphics
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fluentmoviequoter · 11 months ago
Text
Falling Slowly
Requested Here!
Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!rookie!reader
Summary: You are Tim's newest rookie, and his favorite. He treats you differently, able to see that your past affects you, and the little things build up until you can't deny your feelings.
Warnings: so much fluff, brief angst, domestic violence (Tim and reader respond to a call & allusions to past dv against reader), one scene is inspired by "The Switch" (1x4)
Word Count: 4.0k+ words
A/N: This doesn't really fit in any specific season, so I put characters in the roles I wanted them to have and just made up some names to fill in the gaps. Hopefully everything makes sense. Please let me know what you think!
Picture from Pinterest
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“What are you doing here?” Angela asks, surprised to see Tim.
Furrowing his brows, Tim answers, “I’m here for the TO meeting.”
Angela tilts her head back and groans, passing Nyla a 10-dollar bill.
“She thought you’d give up your position for Metro,” Nyla explains.
“I’d like to, someday, but not today,” Tim replies.
“20 bucks this is his last one,” Angela says to Nyla. “He still has the open invite to Metro and his patience can’t take many more boots.”
Nyla reaches to shake Angela’s hand as Tim rolls his eyes and walks away.
“Let me see his rookie first, then we’ll talk,” Nyla decides. “I’ve got a feeling a lot is going to change around here.”
“Like what?” Angela asks. “Nyla! Like what?”
✯✯✯✯✯
Walking into the Mid-Wilshire station on your first day as a rookie is both nerve-wracking and exciting. You’ve heard stories about boots making it through the academy to fail once they reach this level, but you’re determined. When you were a kid, you were in bad situations more often than any child should be, but kind police officers changed your life, and you’d like to do the same.
Waving to one of your police academy friends, you sit in the bullpen, waiting impatiently to learn which officer behind you will be your training officer. Getting the perfect training officer is up to fate, based on what you’ve heard, and your TO can make or break your career.
“Good morning, boots! I am Watch Commander Wade Grey. You have made it through the police academy, but don’t expect a pat on the back, your work is just beginning. This is the time to prove yourself, to show your TO, me, and this city why you deserve to be a police officer.” He pauses, moving around the podium to add, “If you should be a police officer.”
As you listen intently, striving to remember every word Sergeant Grey says, two detectives stand at the back of the room and evaluate the rookies.
“He’s only got one shot,” Angela mutters.
“If he gets the pretty one in the front, I’m not taking the bet,” Nyla says.
Angela looks up a row, her brows raising when she sees you. “If he ends up with her, we’re starting a station-wide pool and getting rich,” she adds.
“Now, it’s time to be assigned to your judge, jury, and executioner,” Wade says with a smile. “Or, as we call them, TOs. Our former rookie turned TO, Nolan: you’ve got Edward Henderson.
 Officer Nolan nods at Henderson, and you remember his story: a late-life rookie who got a golden ticket. Part of you wants to work with him and learn why he decided on law enforcement, but you only nod at Henderson before turning back around.
“Lance Vincent, you are with our newest TO, Eliza Reagan.”
Wade says your name with a smile that seems a bit more genuine than before. “Officer Bradford, last but not least,” he says as he assigns you your new TO.
You look over your shoulder, a small smile on your face as he nods at you. He is undeniably attractive, and you hope it doesn’t cause any problems.
“Oh, he’s a goner,” Nyla whispers under her breath when you smile at Tim.
“Should we tell him?” Angela replies.
“I think we’ll have to.”
✯✯✯✯✯
Something about you bothers Tim. Not in the usual, grumpy-with-a-new-boot way, but he has a sense that you’re different. 
“Nice to meet you,” you say, walking to Tim at the back of the bullpen.
He stands, offering a calloused hand to shake.
“I’m not going to pretend this is going to be easy or fun,” he tells you. “Being a rookie is the hardest part of your career, but if you’re a good cop under the uniform, you’ll be fine.”
Nodding, you promise to do your best and express your willingness to learn everything you can from him.
“Good,” he says. “Meet me outside the war room. We’re not wasting any time, understood?”
“Yes, sir,” you answer.
Tim watches you walk away, and when you stop to let someone carrying a large box cross in front of you, Tim realizes that you’re hurting, or were hurting not long ago. The underlying need to help people is something he recognizes.
“She’s pretty,” Angela muses, walking to Tim’s side.
“Though you know that,” Nyla adds, smiling on his other side.
“She’s a boot. No different than the other rookies,” Tim argues, though his gaze is still on your back as you sign for your bags and weapons.
“Sure, she is. Why don’t you go put her through a Tim test?” Angela suggests.
Tim rolls his eyes as he leaves, wondering what hurt you bad enough to make you want to be a cop. He became a cop despite his hurt, but you’re young and bright – and too good for him – so there must be something in you that makes you worthy of this. More worthy (and more beautiful) than any rookie before you.
✯✯✯✯✯
Several officers wish you luck, with one or two warning you about so-called “Tim Tests” while you wait for Tim behind the shop.
“Don’t tell me you have a checklist,” Tim begins, drawing your attention away from the shop tires.
“No, sir,” you answer. “Just being vigilant, I suppose. I’d hate to start my first day with a flat tire.”
Tim nods, asking where the war bags are. You tell him how you checked the contents and loaded them into the trunk, and he appreciates your brief explanation.
“Good work. The easy part is over,” Tim says. He seems to weigh his options before deciding, “You drive. Show me what you’ve got.”
He follows you to the driver’s side door, opening it as he reminds you of standard shop procedures. As Tim closes the door, you wonder if he’s a gentleman or if he followed you because he doesn’t trust you to drive correctly. Either way, you know what you’re doing, and you won’t let the man in the passenger seat distract you… too much.
Driving toward Wilshire Boulevard for patrol, Tim looks out the window. 
“Blue Camaro has an expired plate,” you alert.
“Call it in.”
You do so, hitting the sirens as you engage the traffic stop. Tim raises a hand to stop you from getting out.
“Remember your training. Don’t let the situation get away from you.”
His words linger in your mind, and you complete the stop with no problem, issuing a ticket and returning to the shop.
“I’m driving,” Tim alerts you, spreading his hand across the small of your back as he directs you to the sidewalk.
“Did I do something wrong?” you ask when he starts the car.
“No,” he answers bluntly.
You lick your lips nervously, turning your attention to your surroundings. Suddenly, Tim pulls over and hits the brakes.
“I’ve been shot, boot. Where are we?” Tim demands.
Furrowing your brows in surprise at his actions, you answer, “Intersection of 12th and Meadowbrook, west of Redondo. There are several hospitals in a five-mile radius, but only one has a trauma center.”
Tim pulls out wordlessly, continuing his patrol route. Tim doesn't say much else throughout the few hours between his first test and lunch. He lets you point things out, answers your questions about the area and procedures, and glances at you out of the corner of his eye. When he pulls up to a small circle of food trucks where several police officers are waiting, he turns toward you.
“You’re doing well. I’m not neglecting to give you good feedback for any reason other than once you start riding alone, you won’t get it. My role here is to prepare you for your solo career, not hold your hand until you get there.”
“I understand, sir. Thank you for answering my questions,” you reply as you open the door.
Tim’s hand finds your upper back as he leads you to his favorite of the food trucks, a light touch that disappears nearly as quickly as it happened. You thank him quietly for the suggestion before sitting with your fellow rookies.
“Hi, Tim,” Angela says.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, his annoyance breaking through his growing fondness for you.
“Just came to get some food. Your boot seems to be in a good mood.”
“Strange, I thought Tim’s thing was ‘break their spirits in the first hour,’” Nyla adds as she joins Angela.
“You two not have work to do or something?” Tim inquires.
“Something like that. How’s she doing?” Angela tips her chin toward you as she asks.
“She’s got good instincts, knows protocols.”
“But?”
Tim shrugs, turning away before Angela can dig deeper.
“I give it a week,” Nyla announces.
“Before what?”
“He can’t take it anymore.”
✯✯✯✯✯
“Domestic disturbance in your area,” dispatch alerts.
Tim grabs the radio, accepting the call as he hits the sirens and turns into a residential area. You chew the inside of your bottom lip; domestic calls are your least favorite, especially when kids are involved. Unwilling to show discomfort, you put on your best brave cop face and follow Tim to the door.
A young girl with a bloody nose and teary eyes opens it, and you glance at Tim before kneeling and asking her to come outside. She listens without question, her lower lip wobbling as you smile.
“He’s hurting my mom,” she whimpers.
Tim nods at you before tilting his head toward the shop. You direct the girl to stand at the edge of the porch and wait for you as you follow Tim inside.
“LAPD, put your hands up!” Tim yells as he steps into a bedroom.
Your eyes widen when you see the large man towering over the girl’s mother. He smiles as he reaches for something.
“Don’t move unless you want to give me a reason,” Tim says lowly. “Step away.”
The man looks toward the nightstand before taking a deep breath and giving up. 
“I got it,” Tim tells you before radioing a code 4.
You wait until Tim has the handcuffs secured to walk outside. The girl runs into your arms, and you pop the shop's trunk, setting her down as you retrieve a small first aid kit. She lets you clean her bloody nose, gripping your wrist when it stings.
“Where’s my mom?” she asks.
“She’s talking to my partner right now, she’ll be out in a few minutes,” you explain.
“Is he nice?”
“The nicest,” you answer.
“Mom!” she yells, letting you set her on the ground before she runs to her mom’s side.
“Get in the shop,” Tim commands as he walks past, his hand brushing your arm as he closes the trunk.
You obey, climbing into the passenger seat and waiting as he talks to the EMTs. When he joins you, he drives to a quiet, empty street before switching off his body cam and gesturing for you to do the same.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice softer than you’ve heard.
“Yes, sir.”
“Don’t say what I want to hear. Domestic calls are tough but that wasn’t your first one, was it?”
You shake your head, looking out the windshield instead of at Tim.
“We all have reasons for becoming a cop, and some calls are harder than others. As long as your past doesn’t get in the way and put you in danger, it’s okay to be human,” he continues. “TOs are notoriously hard on you, but we’re also here for you.”
“Thank you,” you whisper.
Tim shrugs, one corner of his lips upturned. “No more sappy stuff, we have work to do.”
“Oh, if you think that was sappy, I’ve got a lot to show you before I graduate to short sleeves.”
The comment catches Tim off guard and makes him feel something he didn’t expect.
✯✯✯✯✯
By the end of the first week, you feel like you know Tim well. His hand spread across your back or shoulder when you’re in front of him, his little reminders that you’re not alone, that you can show emotion when the time allows, and every other little thing he does makes you wonder why there are so many horror stories around his teaching style.
Likewise, Tim thinks he has you down. You ask him questions, ask for his opinions, listen and apply what he says, and send him small smiles when he compliments your work.
But, it only takes a shift to realize that people are multi-faceted, and cops and rookies are no different.
“Good morning,” you greet, passing Tim a small box.
“What is this? A bribe?” he asks.
You smile as you reply, “Nope. Just something I found, and I thought you’d like.”
Tim opens the box, his eyes widening at the 2000 Super Bowl tickets, the Rams’ first win. “I can’t accept these.”
“They were under a bookshelf in my apartment, it’s not like I spent a million dollars on them, Officer Bradford.”
Tucking them into his pocket, Tim opens your door. “Thank you.”
You smile, and Tim thinks your joy is the better gift.
✯✯✯✯✯
During your first call of that day, you show Tim that you don’t just value his opinions.
“Shots fired!” you radio as you duck behind the car.
“Are you hit?” Tim asks.
Shaking your head, you move closer, trusting him to direct you and keep you safe. The men in the house you were called to have automatic weapons, and though you’re a good shot, you’re not a match for their guns alone.
“Backup is on the way, but I need you to do something for me. You trust me?” Tim adds.
“I do.”
“Reach around the back and open the trunk; just far enough to reach the latch. I’ll cover you.”
He stands above you, firing into the shattered window of the house as you slip your arm and back around the end of the shop and open the trunk.
“Good, perfect,” Tim praises as he ducks beside you. His knuckles graze yours as he leans past you. “Can you reach the shotguns?”
Glancing in the window above you, you locate them quickly. “I can.”
“Do it. I got you.”
Once the shotguns are in your hands, you pass one to Tim as you ready your own. Timing your shots, you take out two shooters just as your backup arrives.
“You’re bleeding,” Tim says, his adrenaline dropping as a tactical team takes over.
You look at your arm, just noticing your ripped sleeve and bloody skin. Tim lays his hands on your arm as he turns it toward him.
“I think it was just glass from the windshield,” you say quietly, pointing to the car behind you, riddled with bullet holes and broken glass.
“Either way, we need to get it checked out.”
“Officer Bradford?” you interject. “Thank you. For making sure I trust you.”
“Thanks for trusting me,” he mutters, so soft you can barely hear it.
He taps the Super Bowl tickets in his pocket as he rises to get a paramedic to check on you, and you smile, wondering how bad it would be if you fell in love with your TO.
✯✯✯✯✯
“You’re quieter than usual,” Tim points out. “I need to know that whatever is bothering you won’t impair your ability to work with me.”
“It won’t,” you promise. “Sorry.”
Tim considers pressing, but he trusts you. “I’m here. If you decide you want to talk about it.”
He exits the shop and opens your door before you can reach for the handle.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Did you see that?” Nyla gushes, elbowing Angela.
“Ow. See what?”
Nyla points to Tim, closing your door and laying a hand on your shoulder as he ducks his head to talk to you.
“That’s not a reprimand,” Angela deduces.
When you smile, a tiny upturning of your lips, Nyla laughs.
“Oh, that boy… The door, the touches, listening to her? He’s gone.”
“Not just him,” Angela adds. “She asks him questions, smiles at him, trusts him more than anyone… and the Super Bowl tickets? They’re adorable.”
“Should we do something?”
“Not yet. I think they’re close to realizing.”
✯✯✯✯✯
After your longest, and worst, day yet, you find yourself in a hospital waiting room beside Tim. He hasn't said anything since a speeding driver ran into your side of the shop, though you've apologized countless times (even though there's nothing you could have done).
Tim’s jaw is clenched so tight you’re worried it will snap. You’re sitting close to him, a bandage around your wrist and an ice pack pressed to your cheek.
“Sorry,” you whisper.
“Stop- stop apologizing, it’s not your fault,” Tim sighs.
His arm is on the armrest between you, and you move your hand toward his. When he doesn’t back away, you turn your arm to allow your knuckles to brush against his.
“It’s not your fault,” you tell him kindly. “He ran a red light.”
“And you could’ve been killed,” Tim replies, standing abruptly and walking away.
You slump in your seat, dejected and curious about what you could say to make him stop blaming himself for someone running into you.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Tim and his rookie sitting in a tree,” Nyla sings under her breath.
“I don’t have time for this right now,” Tim replies.
“Right, because you’re too busy being mad that she got hurt. Cops get hurt Tim,” Angela reminds him.
“Not with me,” he begins, pausing to take a deep breath. “Despite what you think, I’m upset that she got hurt, not because I’m in love with her.”
“Whatever you got to hear, buddy,” Nyla replies. “But tell me this. If it was Nolan when he was a boot, would you have felt this bad? Even if I believed you didn’t have feelings for her, which I don’t, you’re different with her and you know it.”
Tim sighs, looking out the door at you. He knows it’s true; despite his constant denial, he does treat you differently because you are different, and you’re like a magnet, incapable of being ignored or forgotten. Finally confessing it to himself, Tim knows that his feelings for you will get one or both of you in trouble unless something changes.
✯✯✯✯✯
“It is time for The Switch,” Wade says as he walks into the bullpen. “The day you ride with a new TO.”
You glance at Tim, who gives you an encouraging nod. He tells you that you’re a great rookie, but he also tells you that you’re pretty sometimes, which doesn’t seem pertinent (or always true, in your eyes). Wade says your name, and you look up.
“You’re with Nolan,” he tells you.
Smiling at Nolan, you cross your fingers under the desk that it’s a good day. 
“Henderson,” you call as he stands up, “what’s Nolan like?”
“He’s great. Really understanding and knowledgeable. A little talkative, but fairly easy going. Just stick to protocol and listen to his directions; you’ll be fine.”
“What about Bradford?” Vincent asks you. “Everyone says he’s the toughest. Anything I should be aware of?”
“I don’t think so. He’s quiet sometimes, but he’s great.”
You collect your war bag with the expectation of a good day. You will miss Tim, but learning how another TO teaches and his views can be invaluable. As you slide into the driver’s seat beside Nolan, you realize something: you like Tim as more than your TO. He means more to you than just being your teacher, your mentor, and a trustworthy officer. The thought hits you so suddenly you're not sure where it came from.
With each passing moment, you find yourself remembering something Tim said or wanting to tell him something, but he isn’t there. Nolan is kind and laughs at your muttered comments, but it is nothing like riding with Tim. As you think about all the little things Tim does, everything begins to make sense.
Someone yells your name when you step out of the shop to get lunch. Turning, you’re surprised to see Vincent storming up to you.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he demands.
“Tell you what?”
“That Bradford has ‘Tim Tests’ and nothing pleases him!”
You glance over his shoulder, finding Tim and Nolan talking. Tim glances over at you, and the tension in his shoulders seems to ease until Nolan says something else.
“His Tim Tests aren’t that bad; he’s just teaching you awareness and safety.”
“He wants to end my career,” Vincent exclaims before muttering something about you not understanding as he walks away.
✯✯✯✯✯
“How’s Vincent doing?” Nolan asks.
“That kid has no situational awareness,” Tim answers. “I stopped at a street sign, and he couldn’t figure out where we were.”
“He’s probably scared of you,” Nyla interjects. “And, no, Bradford, I don’t have anywhere else to be.”
“My rookie can tell me where I am, no matter what,” Tim adds.
“Your rookie is very good, I’ll give you that,” Nolan replies. “But Vincent has potential. Besides, your boot has people problems.”
Tim glances over at you, locking eyes with you while Vincent talks to you dramatically.
“So do I, but I’m still a good cop.”
Nyla watches as both you and Tim sigh before abandoning the conversations you’re in. She shakes her head, calculating her winnings if the betting pool goes her way.
✯✯✯✯✯
Walking out of the locker room at the end of the day, you’re surprised to be called into Sergeant Grey’s office. You sit across from him, fiddling with the hem of your shirt to spend your nervous energy.
“You are being assigned to a new TO. Officer Bradford has decided to hand you off to someone better equipped to teach you,” Grey informs. “But you’re not in trouble.”
You still your hands in your lap. “Okay. Effective when?”
“Monday morning. So, rest up.”
As you stand, Grey says your name, smiling as he repeats, “You’re not in trouble. This was Bradford’s decision, nothing to do with you. Well, nothing to do with you as a rookie.”
You purse your lips at his phrasing, and he chuckles before sending you out. Walking through the parking lot, you see Tim’s truck is still there and decide to ask him what happened. Standing by the tailgate, you chew your bottom lip as you wait, nervous that you did something, though Wade assured you differently.
Tim walks up unnoticed, saying your name to get your attention.
“What did I do wrong?” you ask, jumping straight to your questions. “I can fix it; there has to be a way to fix it.”
“You didn’t do anything,” Tim promises. “I just can’t be your TO anymore.”
“Why not?”
Tim shifts his backpack on his shoulder. “It’s not appropriate.”
Your heart drops. Tim knows you have feelings for him, and it makes him uncomfortable; that’s the only explanation. Nodding slowly, you accept your fate.
“And I can’t do this,” Tim adds.
His hands slide onto your jaw, his palms against your cheeks as his fingers settle behind your ears, pulling you into a quick kiss. You only begin to respond when he pulls back.
“You’re the best boot I’ve ever had,” he whispers, brushing his thumbs over the apples of your cheeks.
“I’m not your boot anymore,” you remind him.
“That’s your fault. Those little gifts, and soft smiles, and how well you listen… You make it impossible not to fall for you.”
You laugh, leaning against his hands as you reply, “You do too. How do you think I felt when you called me pretty or touched my back? Then you kept comforting me and inviting me to talk. It was too easy.”
“Go to dinner with me?” he asks.
You nod, smiling against his hands before he moves to touch your back again, opening the passenger door as he helps you in. Tim slips his hand into yours, kissing your knuckles as he keeps you close.
✯✯✯✯✯
When the rest of the rookies leave the station, noticing that your car is still there, they ask each other if anyone has seen you.
“Bradford’s truck is gone,” Nyla notices as she walks out.
“Looks like we won,” Angela cheers.
“Where’s Bradford?” Vincent asks.
“On a date,” Nyla answers. “With his former boot.”
The rookies’ jaws drop, wondering how you managed to pull Mid-Wilshire’s resident grump.
“Don’t expect the same to happen to you,” Angela says as she passes the rookies. “We all worked for this one.”
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cherryswisherz · 8 days ago
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KARMIC BALANCE ✷ CHAPTER III
✷WARNINGS cursing, pining??? idk. mention of the nd game and h*annah h*dalgo
✷NIYAH SPEAKS aye we back! this one is just paiges pob
✦✦✦✦
SENIOR YEAR
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We lose to Notre Dame every year. 
Every. Fucking. Year. 
And now that I’m home in Storrs, looking at everyone as they try to mask their disappointment, I feel the loss even more. 
Which is why I’m walking around in the middle of night, the December air biting into my skin. I can’t stop thinking about everything that went wrong. Why everything went wrong. 
I honestly have no fucking clue why, but I know what went wrong. Everyone does. Our defense was lousy, our shots were horrible, we got too tired. I could go on, but that won’t fix anything. 
I find myself at Xavi and Janes house before I realize it. I tell myself that it’s because Yanna’s there, and not because of the wisdom that Xavia seems to have about every aspect of life. 
When Xavia opens the door wearing a smile and a moo moo, I ignore that bubly feeling in my chest and ask to come in. 
Once inside, I see her apartment is almost completely dark. The big lights are off, the living room being lit only by a candle and two lamps in opposite corners. 
“So, what’s up P?” Xavi asks, running her hands down the silk of her moo moo. “It’s almost midnight and you’re usually dead to the world by 9.”
Knowing that Xavia knows my bedtime makes me smile for reasons I don’t want to admit. 
When I first met her, Xavia was like a mystery. She was funny and smart and absolutely fucking beautiful. She’d apologized for making a false assumption about me. It was the first and only time anyone had ever done that and I never forgot it. 
When she and Jane started coming around more, I forced myself to swallow the want I had to learn more about her, to learn from her because I knew that if I’d gotten to the root of who she was, I’d be even more enthralled than I already was at that point. 
Eventually my heart stopped beating so fast around her. I’d stopped avoiding being within 3 feet of her and trained myself to treat her like I’d treated all my other friends. 
Because that’s what she is. My friend. 
It didn’t matter that her not worshipping ground I walked on excited me. It didn’t matter that almost every conversation we had alone rested in the back of my mind at all times. 
Xavia is my friend and that’s all she’d ever be. 
“Yeah I know. I just can’t get the ND game outta my head and I thought Yanna would be here to talk to.”
I’m lying and I know it. Whether Yanna was here or not, I would have found a way to talk to Xavi. I always did. Not because I wanted to be around her, but because she always had the answer to whatever problem that I have. Anyone would do the same if they’d stopped to pay attention when she was trying to get a word in. 
“Oh, yeah, she’s not here.” Xavi pointed a thumb to the back of her house, where Her and Jane’d bedroom’s were. Her locs swayed with the turn of her head. “Her and Jane went to Urgent Care cause she hit her shoulder on the wall and-” She waves her hands anxiously, as if she doesn’t feel like explaining a complex situation. “It was a whole thing. I’m sure you’ll hear about it tomorrow.”
I know I should be worried about my teammate who can’t seem to stay healthy. And I am. I make a mental note to check in on Yanna at some point, but right now, I’m thinking of a way I can stay and talk to Xavi without making it a thing.
“Oh…” is what I came up with. 
“You can talk to me?” Thank. God. “ If you want.”
Of course I fucking want. It’s all I’ve done for the past three years. 
I want to be a better person. 
I want to be 19 again and do everything differently. 
I want to win the championship this year. 
But all those wants are null and void for the biggest want of all. 
I want to get drafted to the WNBA.
And I’ve made  too many shitty decisions to get there to just throw it all away. So what if I’m miserable?
“Uh, yeah. That’s cool.” I play off my desperation and take a seat on her orange bean bag. 
Xavi plops down on the couch in front of me, crossing her legs and folding her hands. All her attention is on me and a part of me feels like I don’t deserve the attention of this amazing woman. But a bigger part is screaming that this is how it should be. 
Me, admiring every part of her, and her, willing and ready for anything I give her. 
Of course, in this situation all she wants is to know what’s on my mind, but I would give her whatever else she could think up. 
“So whatcha thinkin ‘bout?”  She asks sweetly. 
Her voice isn’t obnoxiously high. It’s kinda deep and mellow, just like she is.
“Um… I just can’t get over everything.” I shake my head and look at my hands. Hands that are supposed to get me everywhere I want in life.  “Like, I get why we lost. What we did wrong on the basketball front. But we were off the other day. We’d run those plays over and over again in practice. Studied film. We should have been prepared, but we were just off.  Like no matter how hard we tried, we just couldn’t get there.”
Xavia nods her head like she understands everything I’m saying. 
“Like everything was against you guys?” she questions. 
“No. I don’t think that anything was unfair. I think that our all just wasn’t enough.”
“Well, I know you can’t speak for anyone else, and I’d never ask you to. But why do you think you were off that night?”
She sounds like a therapist. The kind that isn’t just trying to fix you, but trying to understand you. The kind that hangs on to every word, but not to hold it against you.
“I don’t know. I just kept getting madder and madder and it threw me off. I did everything I was supposed to do.”
She looks confused now. “What do you mean ‘supposed to do’?”
“Like everything I thought was right. Everything I've always done.”
“Maybe that’s the issue.” 
Now I’m confused. 
“What?”
Following my routine has taken me and my team to the Final Four, and for Xavi to tell me it’s wrong stings a little. 
“Maybe doing everything you’ve always done isn’t the answer. Paige, you’re a somewhat mature adult. Do you honestly think you’re right all the time?”
What does she mean ‘somewhat’ mature? 
“...No?”
“Right.” Xavi sounds so sure of herself, leaning in and starting to talk with her hands like she does when she’s talking about her coursework or something equally as interesting to her. “It’s impossible to be right in every situation because every situation is different. When you throughout your daily life, do you treat every person the same? Do you go into every conversation with the same mindset, expecting the same outcome?”
I mean most people are the same, so what else am I supposed to do?
“Kinda, yeah.”
“Well that’s no bueno, babe.” She huffs out, pointing at me. Then, she entrances me again with her hands as she speaks. “ Every human is different. They have different pasts, and different views. Even if the difference between one person and another is miniscule, it’s there. And that difference is why it’s so important that we don’t generalize people.”
I know she’s stopped talking but I’m so caught up in her voice, and her hands and her face, and her to contribute to the conversation.
“Are you understanding?” She asks, seemingly genuinely concern with whether I’m comprehending what she’s telling me. 
And the answer is no, I’m not understanding. Whether there’s a differenc eor not, each person want the same thing and should be dealt with the same, based on what they want. 
This is the code fucking live by,a nd she’s sitting her debunking it in the most intellectual, attractive way possible.
“Not really.”
“Okay so like…” She sighs, pauses to think and then continues. “Do you remember when we first met? When I assumed you were a whore like alot of college athletes are?”
The reminder of our first interaction brings a calmness to me. I remember everything abou that night in her dorm. She wore sweats with no bra, and I’m pretty sure she was stoned.
“Yeah of course. You apologized to me that night and it kinda weirded me out.”
“Right.” Xavia snapped her fingers, bringing me out of my memory. “I apologized to you, because I generalized you and made an assumption based on one aspect of your identity. And I think it weirded you out because you’d generalized every person who’d made an assumption about you. I guess it’s rare that people apologize after being an asshole to you.”
It was rare. So rare that she’s the only person who’d ever done it.
“Okay…”
“So. Incourpurating that into basketball. Every team is different.”
I nod my head to let her know I was following. “Of course.”
“Okay and so every player on every team is different too.”
She lost me.
“No.” Now I’m the one leaning forward, talking with my hands. “They all move as a team. Yes, they have differences, but they’re all working together.”
“I see it differently.” She shrugs like she’s the master of basketball and done copious amounts of research on the psyche of an athlet.  “I feel like every player on that court moves individually. Do they play for the same team, and have the same goal? Of course. But they’re all different. They all have different thoughts and concerns and ideas. You said that girl Hannah was the head of the snake, but I think you should see it differently.”
“How so?”
“Instead of thinking of a team as one snake, think of it like… Like cheetahs!”
“Cheetahs?”
“Cheetahs.” She finalizes. “Once the mama cheetah gives birth, she trains her cubs to survive in any situation. To adapt to any surroundings. She teaches her cubs how to kill different animals, to hide, all that. Eventually, the cubs form a sibling group and go out together to execute everything their mother has taught them. Are you getting the analogy?”
When she’s explaining it in laymans terms, of course I get it. She could probably explain thermodynamics to me and I’d understand it fully. Xavia just has a way of making everything in life seem so simple. It’s wonderful, really.
“Yeah. Like the coach is the mother, the players are the cubs.”
“Right. But each cub is different. There’s a more dominant one, there’s submissives and then theirs the runts. Each one has to edit their mothers lessons to make it useful to them individually. Does that make sense?”
I’ve decided that she’s blown my mind enough for tonight, once again by being right about everything. So I just chuckle and dismiss the topic.
“How do you come up with this shit, Xavi?”
She laughs like a seductress and leans back on the couch, “I dunno. I read alot.”
You read alot? Reading alot has given you the ability to break down a sport like you’ve played it your whole life?
“Well thank you for sharing your knowledge with my dumbass, oh wise one.”
I stand up from the beanbag and make my way to the door, ready to take my exit.
“I’m not wise, I just see from a different point of view than you. Sometimes you gotta get outta your head.”
“I guess.” I sigh, then open my arms. “Thanks, Xavi.” 
She steps into me, her head just below my chest and wraps her arms around me. Her body is warm, but the silk she’s wearing cold. She doesn’t hug me tight or aggressively. Just stands there with her arms around my waist. 
It feels terrifyingly comfortable. 
“Anytime P.” she mutters, pulling away and ushering me out of her home. 
The whole walk back, my mind is on her and everything she said. 
How is it that this girl that is the exact opposite of everything I’m looking for, seems to be everything I need?
✷TAGLIST @patscorner @riyahtheballer @mattslolita @thaatdigitaldiary @janaelalfysblunt @mrsengstler @kmoneymartini @sageworld
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@pppaaiiiggggeeeeee @uwupaige @paigeluvvr @colorthecosmos444 @authentic-girl03 @makethemhoesmad @lovegalor333 @mrsarnold
@sellasstories @heart4caitlin @avvwritesstufff @st4rrzynight @bueckersp @paxaz535 @thelightknight21 @paxaz535
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morgansorgans-org · 2 months ago
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Collection of nrmt/klpl fics!
An oomf on Instagram asked if I could compile all my favorite Ace Attorney fics! They are all and Wrightworth and Klapollo fics. The first few are my favorites (usually means they made me cry or emotionally impacted me 🧍) but I like all the others I linked here ofc as well! Many of these came from rec lists on tumblr, because that’s how I started out reading aa fics!
Wrightworth fics
Legal Partners by Miggy, 132k words, 34/34 chapters, 2013
Summary: Miles Edgeworth isn't totally sure how he ended up in this bet to demonstrate the strength of his and Phoenix Wright's (entirely professional and platonic! really!) relationship, but he knows it's Klavier's fault.
Absolutely one of my most favorite fics ever, I’m not gonna lie. Genuinely so good. I was clutching my phone the entire third act of the fic, absolutely ridden with anxiety. I read for 12 hours straight that third act, during exam season, eyes absolutely bloodshot and had a splitting headache by the end because I was staring at my phone for far too long. It’s so good.
I think my biggest qualm I have with this master class of a fic if I had to say, would probably be the characterization of Klavier? he feels too straight in this I don’t know how else to put it. But honestly it’s so minor I don’t really care and I’ve read this twice (which I never do)
Project Matchmakers by WingSongHalo, 126k words, 16/16 chapters, 2018
Summary: It was quite distressing, Pearl thought. For years previously, she had been quite fixated on the idea of her cousin and Mr. Nick living happily ever after. Even after she had accepted that this would never happen, she was always somewhat enamored of the idea that one of them would someday be caught up in a whirlwind romance, passionate and adventurous.
So she was rather surprised to find herself immensely enjoying the steady, familiar relationship she saw between a defense attorney and a prosecutor. It wasn't loud or flashy or wild, but calm and reliable and quiet. Rather than a blazing fire that consumed everything, theirs was an affection like a candle flame, bringing forth light and warmth.
Well, except for when they were in court. Then they were rather more like two overzealous flamethrowers.
An excitable group of girls (and a reluctant Apollo) team up to make Phoenix and Miles realize they're crazy about each other. But are such measures really necessary?
Canon universe.
Loved this one. Very good. I loved the side casefic it had and how it affected the main characters as well. I love the everyone ships wrightworth trope so much.
A Night You’ll Never Regret by MaudMoon (Idle_Wanderings), 88k words, 7/7 chapters, 2018
Summary: After learning about a clerical error on their wedding certificate, Maggey and Gumshoe decide to go all out and invite their friends and family to a vow renewal ceremony in Las Vegas. Edgeworth, spurred on by his sister's threats encouragements, decides to use the trip as an opportunity to express feelings he's been holding onto for years.
However when Edgeworth, Larry, and Phoenix wake up the morning after Gumshoe's bachelor party, it doesn't take them long to realize things didn't go as planned: Edgeworth's cards have been declined, Larry has been mysteriously injured, and Phoenix wakes up wearing a wedding ring. And, to top it all off, Gumshoe is missing. They'll need to rush against time to find Gumshoe before his wedding, and to do that they'll need to figure out what the hell exactly happened last night.
Soooo good! I love the mystery aspect of it all and everyone recounting and slowly piecing together what happened. It’s very sweet too and also kinda nsfw be warned…. also Maya x Rhoda was definitely not what I was expecting tbh
To play due process like a fiddle by Harmony, 19k words, 1/1 chapters, 2024
Summary: As far as Miles can tell, Agent Lang's initial impression of certified hot mess Phoenix "That Man" Wright upon their first meeting wasn't exactly the most positive, and tragically enough, it's not like Miles can really blame him for having that perception.
That said, they both probably should've known that Phoenix hadn't been named the Turnabout Terror for nothing.
(Or: what it means to judge solely based on first appearances and then have all of your expectations rocked off-balance, especially when they revolve around one of the most outstanding attorneys the criminal justice system has ever known).
Deeeeeelicious. So good. Love the tension between Phoenix and Lang and them essentially kinda fighting for Edgeworth even though it’s a very skewed battle against Lang. Aaaagh
A fool in love (with you) by gen, 17k words, 1/1 chapters, 2016
Summary: Miles and Phoenix (finally, no really, after two years of being engaged) decide to tie the knot. On the day of the wedding, they are reminded of all the moments that got them there.
Sooooo cute! This one helped inspire me for my last chapter of my own wrightworth fic actually! This author actually wrote a klapollo long fic I’ve been meaning to check out actually, called The Sound of Silence. I’ve been scared off by how heavy the warnings of the angst ahead are ngl. But this one shot in contrast is very fluffy and sweet!
A Beginner’s Guide on how Not to Write Steel Samurai Fanfiction by chameleonwrites, 16k words, 6/6 chapters, 2021
Summary: Verity Baytum, a court stenographer, has a secret passion for writing Steel Samurai fanfiction based around the pairing Magisteel. When she finds an unlikely source of inspiration during her job, she can't help but watch court proceedings in search of further lines that fit her fics.
Miles Edgeworth, said source of inspiration, has a secret passion for reading Steel Samurai fanfiction based around the pairing Magisteel. It doesn't take long for him to realise the reason the characters sound like him and Wright is not due to personal projection.
I really liked this one, it’s very funny and sweet. I also realized this fic kind of predicted the name Verity for an AA character…
Yours, Mine, and Maybe Ours by estelraca, 13k words, 1/1 chapters, 2015
Summary: Phoenix convinces Miles to bring Trucy in with him for Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, despite Miles' misgivings. Everything becomes even more complicated when Kay Faraday and Shi-Long Lang call on him for assistance. Set between the original trilogy and Apollo Justice; mild spoilers for both Investigations games.
Loved this one! I really like any fics with Trucy as a bigger character (wow who knew look at all my SNS accounts with trucy pfps) especially ones that delve deeper into her relationship between her and Edgeworth.
The Prosecution Rests by Commander_Freddy, 4k words, 1/1 chapters, 2016
Summary: Miles Edgeworth goes to bed, and then wakes up.
Very good. Short but impactful and angsty and sweet. Commander Freddy has some other very good AA fics you should check out also.
Archeology by sunsmasher, 8k words, 1/1 chapters, 2014
Summary: Phoenix and Maya finally clean out Mia's office. Far, far too many people help.
Very short but very good. Deals with Mia grief and also has side Wrightworth content.
To Their Happiness by ,,,,, 41k words, 10/10 chapters, 2024
Summary: Trucy Wright sees that her daddy's friend, Miles Edgeworth, makes him happy in a way she can't. She knows he's sad and lonely, despite trying his best to hide it from her. She makes a promise to herself that she would try to have Miles around as often as she could, for his happiness.
Or, an evolution of Wrightworth's relationship through Trucy's eyes. Trucy and co. sees Phoenix and Miles feel that special way that adults feel for each other and tries to matchmake them. It's mostly Trucy doing that, though.
teehee. you think I wouldn’t go without promoting my OWN fic? you thought wrong!!! I’m also working on a Klapollo fic (it’s like 37k words so far) but I’ll be lucky if it gets uploaded by the end of 2024 with the pace I’m writing it at. It’s so close to completion though…
Klapollo fics
Hot for Justice by indirectkissesiniceland, 43k words, 26/26 chapters, 2013
Summary: After the events of State v. Misham, Klavier finds himself in a slump, stressed at the prosecutor's office and unable to pen new songs. To his surprise, he finds creative inspiration—and unexpected feelings—spending time with Apollo. Now if only he could release the new tracks without raising any suspicion as to whom his love songs are for.
God, is there a klapollo fic rec list without Hot for Justice on it? It’s such a classic, and rightfully so. This fic also inspired me as well to write my next fic! It’s just this good.
Vacation All I Wanted by JJsADragon, 111k words, 24/24 chapters, 2020
Summary: “A vacation?” Apollo asked.
“Yeah! You know what a vacation is, right Polly? When are you going to get another opportunity like this? A beach vacation? A pool? It’s not like you could afford this place without splitting the cost.”
One condo. Six lawyers. Seven secret plans. What could possibly go wrong?
This fic is like. A need I go on? Moment. It’s so iconic and good. This along with Legal Partners probably permanently organized my brain chemistry, I think. Good god the angst. The fluff. this fic genuinely made me sob which. A book hasn’t done that to me in a very long time! there’s a scene where Apollo talks about grief and that was very relatable. This fic also does breach the subject of suicidal ideation, but it is brief. In general this is a lighthearted fic!
If it’s really me you seek by seamint, 83k words, 21/21 chapters, 2021
Summary: “Anyway,” Ema keeps going, fully ignoring his sarcasm in favor of staring at a neat corner where the walls meet the ceiling. “I asked if he wanted to go to your party together, but he said he wasn’t going.”
“What?” Apollo suddenly finds it very hard to breathe. “Why?”
“Hell if I know,” Ema says nonchalantly, but then she turns to him with a smirk. “See if you can figure it out: I believe he told me, and I quote—ahem—'Ach, I would, Fräulein, but I believe Herr Justice would be more comfortable without me there.’”
Or, when Apollo comes home from Khura'in only to learn that Prosecutor Gavin is avoiding him, the last thing he expected was for Gavin to offer to let Apollo stay at his house while he looks for a new apartment.
It’s been a hot minute since I read this one (one of the first klapollo fics I read) but this one was veryyy good. Very much inspired me. Honestly all of Seamint’s stuff is good.
And if all my wishes could come true by seamint, 45k words, 8/8 chapters, 2022
Summary: “‘Our son’ my ass. You’re getting way too into this,” Apollo grumbles, rolling his eyes. “Is this your dream? Do you dream of being divorced and paying alimony, Gavin?”
Klavier doesn’t tell him that as far as dreams go, his is to live in a world where a relationship with Apollo, past tense or otherwise, is at all possible. Apollo doesn’t need specifics, or terrible confessions in vet clinics that show how badly Klavier wants to play pretend with him.
Or, Klavier, Apollo, and how cats bring people together in the most convoluted ways possible.
Looove this. Very fluffy. Mikeko being the center of attention as well and that’s of course why we’re reading this who cares abt klapollo frrr
Turnabout Dungeons (and Dragons) by Synthpop, 170k words, 33 chapters, 2016
Summary: According to Mr. Wright, Dungeons and Dragons is good, if not crucial, for cultivating trusting relationships between friends and coworkers. Apollo has his doubts.
So goood. I love D&D and Klapollo and this is the perfect mix of this. Bard klavier, paladin apollo, need I go on? Phoenix is the dungeon master and Ema, Trucy, Athena and Simon are also apart of the party as well
can I go where you go by parchmints, 40k words, 6/6 chapters, 2021
Summary: Apollo Justice has rotten luck: he actually wins the grand prize for a mail-in contest, but It's a couple's getaway to a fancy ski lodge in the mountains and Apollo is aggressively single. With no one to go with, Apollo offers them to Klavier since surely, a rockstar would be able to find a date before then, but Klavier has a better idea—they go together and pretend they're a couple. That way, they both get a vacation, plus free food and wine.
And well, Apollo's never been one to pass up free food.
So good!!! There’s some wonderful art in this one as well!! I remember being super hooked by this one and giggling over the fake dating stuff. Loved it
Things are as they are by hechima, 34k words, 3/3 chapters, 2021
Summary: Klapollo cabin fic. That's really all this is.
Need I say more? Yes, two cabin fic recs back to back. One cabin in the snow and the other in some desert. Loved the character analysis in this one.
Gravity by Euphorion, 46k words, 7/7 chapters, 2014
Summary: In the aftermath of his brother's arrest, Klavier is trying to balance his law career and a solo music career, with some success—but with less savory consequences as well. His fans are fixating on every aspect of his life, desperate for his attention and jealous of his relationships with the people around him. They've singled out his courtroom rival, Apollo Justice, as the target of their frustrations.
hooo boy this one is pretty angsty in a way. Lots of things going on in this one. We have some crazy Gavinners fans in this, endangerment of lives, stalking, mail… it’s a bit dark but very engaging!
It’s all that I am and all that I have by eternalmagic, 58k words, 12/12 chapters, 2016
Summary: Apollo sucks in a breath, attempting to steel his nerves. Should he honestly send this...? He doesn't even know who this man is. This is a huge, huge mistake. But, even so, he hits send before he can remind himself of how awful an idea this is.
Dear You,
I think I love you. Just wanted you to know.
From,
Me
Klavier's phone pings with an email notification, and the moment he reads it, the smile fades from his face. God, this was so much easier when he didn't know that the sender hated him in real life.
[ or, the you've got mail au. ]
Sooo good! I’ve never watched the movie before, and honestly, you don’t have to. It’s very engaging and oh my goddd the angst you have to get through to get to the fluff…. So worth it.
Anyway, Here’s Guilty Love by u_andcloud, 129k words, 22/22 chapters
Summary: The entirety of Ivy U is smitten with Klavier Gavin—with one exception. Apollo Justice could do without Klavier’s constant presence in the quad, where he serenades passerby with acoustic versions of his band's songs. Apollo is also not particularly fond of Klavier’s clothes, his hair, his tendency to sprinkle German into his conversations, or the fact that, despite all of this, Klavier is still at the top of the class.
So when Klavier asks Apollo to help him start a club for aspiring lawyers on campus, Apollo isn’t entirely sure why he accepts. It’s a resume builder, he tells himself. It’s not like he has to like the guy.
Except, well....he's starting to think that he might.
[Or, a simple college AU turned AA4 re-imagining.]
AHHHHH. College AU fic set in Ivy U. In AU fics like these, I’m always interested in how the author will deal with Kristoph, considering his story is so intertwined with both Apollo and Klavier. This fic did it so well and seamlessly my goddd. I loved it.
Undeniable you (the currents pulling me onward) by experimentaldragonfire, 59k words, 11/11 chapters, 2020
Summary: Kristoph Gavin is found dead in his prison cell, and Klavier Gavin is the prime suspect.
With nobody else available to defend him, Apollo Justice flies in from Khura'in to take the case--but during the course of the trial and its aftermath, long-hidden secrets come to light.
I looove Klavier being suspected of murder fics. They executed this concept very well. I know abt experimentaldragonfire as they were one of the hosts for the klapollo minibang (2024) I was apart of! Their writing is indeed, fire. Check out their other fics as well!
Apollo Justice: Between the Cases by joggingoctopus, 84k words, 18/18 chapters, 2023
Summary: What happened between cases in the Apollo Justice game? Here's one way things could have played out!
A retelling of apollo Justice, kind of! I really liked how the author explained some of the stuff in Ace Attorney, and it will go into my personal AA belief system I think. They also have a sequel fic which I’ve yet to read bc im very scared! (Clay things)
Delicate by ronsenberg, 30k words, 5/5 chapters, 2020
Summary: Everything about the situation is wrong, from the suitcase in Apollo’s arms to the blaring of car horns from the cars waiting behind him. It doesn’t matter. “I have been thinking-” he starts, voice faltering. It is very unlike him to be at such a loss for words, but he has never found himself in a situation quite like this before. “Ach, wondering, really-”
Apollo raises his brow, glancing at the digital clock on the dash and back into Klavier’s eyes in quick succession. “Klavier, my flight-”
“-Marry me?” The words come out in a rushed and poorly articulated interruption. Apollo blinks, his mouth falling slightly open in surprise. “When you come back, ja? Marry me.”
A Post-Spirit of Justice Proposal fic.
As of writing this right now, I just finished this fic so it’s very fresh in my memory! I really liked it! The way they wrote what would most likely be a realistic depiction of Klapollo if it were to happen in real life. It has all the downs and lows and the highs that you’d expect in a realistic relationship.
Glowing embers dying fire by virtualmushroom, 88k words, 20/20 chapters, 2023
Summary: Klavier has a crush on Apollo and he makes that abundantly clear.
Apollo, however, is oblivious and takes Klavier's enamored flirting for simple teasing. After all, why would a famous prosecutor rockstar come to like an "average" guy like him?
Despite that, Apollo comes to unlearn the preconception he has of Klavier and see beyond his mask, into the person he really is, someone not as cheerful as he may appear.
An also realistic in-canon depiction of Klapollo I really like! This was also written by my good friend!
Words Come Fluently by ItsyRoyal, 50k words, 12/12 chapters, 2021
Summary: Klavier Gavin is the most famous rockstar in the world. Guilty Love is about to go platinum and the tour sold out fourteen stadiums. So there's really, really no reason why one anonymous music critic on Youtube who hates him should get under his skin. And yet somehow he'd do just about anything to convince MikekoMusic to like him.
Apollo has been doing Youtube as a fun side hustle while he tries to break into the talent management industry, and he's just landed an assistant gig working for Kristoph Gavin. Whose main client is his golden boy younger brother. Whose music Apollo has been anonymously trashing for years.
Yeah, this is all going to go fine.
auuuuuuuuuuugh oh my god the DRAMA in this. Really good. The best part about this is the reassurance of no murders and clay BEING ALIVE!! I love clay alive fics, esp if they’re of him reacting to Klapollo.
Mission Control by ForeheadandFop, 12k words, 1/1 chapters, 2015
Summary: Like any good friend, Clay takes an interest in Apollo's career; he can't help it if the most interesting part is Klavier.
Loved this as well. Very good. It fulfills my needs of clay reacting to klapollo as mentioned above but however. This is canon compliant….🧍happy ending though …
I think that’s it for my list for recommendations! Sorry a lot of them are long fics 😭😭
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btswithluv13 · 21 days ago
Text
Two Friends
Tumblr media Tumblr media
bestfriend!Jungkook x fem!Reader
[fluff, angst, ongoing series]
teaser: Friends, just for now? 
warnings: alcohol, language, infidelity (kinda?)
recommended songs: Sparks - Coldplay // Night Bus - Gabrielle Alpin // Clementine - Wet
Note: I have been sitting on this for a while and originally wanted this to be a one-shot. It’s heavily heavily inspired by Love, Rosie so please be warned, it’s going to be angsty. Not sure how many chapters this will be but I have Chapter 2 ready to go after some editing and Chapter 3 in the works soooo, please look forward to it :D 
Chapter 1 - A Toast to the Bride and Groom
wc: 920
You've dreamt about this day, fantasized about it even. The wedding hall was beautifully decorated with carefully curated and meticulously placed flowers and soft warm lights illuminating the space. You take a minute to look around taking everything in and thinking how surreal this all feels. The pianist starts to play a melodious song making the atmosphere even more romantic. In just a few moments, everything's going to be different. You take a deep breath, forcing yourself to control your nerves.
Jungkook stood by the altar waiting. He was dressed in a black tuxedo with his hair slicked back. It’s so different from his usual casual attire but still he is as handsome as ever. He looked nervous as he started scanning through the crowd. His eyes land on you and his expression eases as you offer him a gentle smile. You’ve always been each other’s safe place. 
You can't help but think about how much you and him have grown. It feels like yesterday when you and him met in middle school. You remember how he looked with his bangs covering his doe like eyes and how much he hated it when people would take notice.
You both kept to yourselves and so you hadn’t really talked to him before until some dumb kids started messing with you causing you to trip and drop the things you were carrying. Of course, Jungkook happened to be there at the right time. You thought he’d join in on teasing but instead, he silently helped you pick up your things and from then on you decided he was someone who had to be in your life.
You were happy… at least that’s what you tell yourself as The Wedding March starts to play and the bride makes her way to the altar to join Jungkook. There's a pang in your heart as you think about how things could've been.
In another life it would've been you standing beside him. It would've been you he was looking at with stars in his eyes, saying his vows and declaring his love to. Except it isn't and you thought you made peace with it. You told yourself It would be alright, at least Jungkook would still be in your life. At least, his soon-to-be-wife was nice... You tell yourself you'd be fine, you’d repeat it to yourself again and again until it would be true.
The ceremony goes by in a blur and it was finally time for the speeches. Of course you were going to speak, it’s your best friend’s wedding. Just get through it, it'll all be over soon. Your grip on the mic tightens as you prepare. There's a lump in your throat now and you try your best to swallow it down along with all the brimming emotions.
“Good evening everyone… first of all congratulations to both of you!” You tried your best to sound cheerful, your smile not quite meeting your eyes. “For those who don’t know me, I’m ___ and I’ve known Jungkook all my life and because I’ve known him all my life I feel compelled to warn you all. Please don't let Jungkook grab a hold of the mic! He will not stop singing, trust me I learned this the hard way.” Earning a light laugh from the audience and a playful glare from Jungkook, you continue.
“I am so lucky to get to know someone who shines as bright as Jungkook and everyone who has had the chance to bask in his light would know just how special he is. I’ve always thought that Jungkook’s bowl grew to hold more capacity throughout the years but it turns out, I underestimated just how much it would take to fill it…”
You look at him fully now, both your gazes unwavering. “and so as I have come to learn just how much kindness and love his heart has to give, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to give it back. I will always support you and your decisions. I love you, Jungkook.” There’s an expression on his face now that you can’t quite read. You wonder if you’re overdoing it, if the audience can sense the storm of emotions brewing inside you and the true intentions of your words… your feelings. You clear your throat.
“...like a sister loves a brother and so I'm glad he has you now,” Glancing at his wife. “To fill in his bowl.” Your voice falters a bit and not trusting your composure you end the speech by giving a toast to the bride and the groom. The crowd gives an applause and you see Jungkook mouth you a thank you as he wipes a lone tear from his face. You nod at him, tears also threatening to spill but you hold it in. It's done. The hardest part of this night was over and you feel the tension in your body ease up a bit. 
The night continues on with festivities and you decide to step outside for some fresh air. The moon's glow accompanies you as you reflect on what you were feeling. You've dreamt about this day, fantasized about it even… but that's the problem about dreaming, it's never going to be your reality if you don't act upon it. You love Jungkook and if you were brave enough maybe things would’ve been different. You come to the conclusion that sometimes loving someone means loving them enough to let them go. You'll be alright, you think this time, it's true. 
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ahonice · 1 year ago
Text
just friends
nico hischier x fem reader
word count: 10.9k (the longest fic i’ve ever written i’m so sorry)
warnings: unplanned pregnancy and mentions of unprotected sex, cursing, the word climax, a little angsty, if i forgot anything lmk.
note: i started this on september 1st, this actually took forever. ANYWAYS hope y’all enjoy lmk if you love it, if you hate it, any feedback in general is appreciated!! love y’all babes <3
+++
it was an accident.
you and nico had been in a casual friends with benefits relationship for about a year and a half, having known each other for three years in total, when it happened.
you and nico were being stupid one night. after a few too many drinks, and no condoms to be found anywhere in your apartment, you and nico fucked without protection. 
you were on birth control and nico had pulled out, well he did halfway through his climax.
you didn’t think anything when you didn’t get your period the following month or the two months after that, you hadn’t had a period in four years thanks to your birth control. 
for weeks you thought you were just bloated, maybe you had been eating too much lately. you were much hungrier these past couple of weeks, it made sense.
it wasn’t until you threw up eleven times in one week before ten in the morning that you grew suspicious and worried at the possibility of you being pregnant. 
you stopped by the drug store on your way home from work and panic bought nine different pregnancy tests. 
you drank seven things of water during the day and took no bathroom breaks in preparation for this moment, and you had never been so scared to get test results back.
positive. every single one of them.
you felt faint, like the walls of your tiny studio apartment were caving in on you. 
you couldn’t have a baby, you couldn’t be a mother, it just couldn’t happen.
+++
the first thing you had to do was tell nico.
you and nico weren’t exclusive, and while he probably has his fair share of hookups, you did not. he was the only possible candidate for the father. 
nico was currently three days into an eight day road trip, and as much as you wanted to just get it over with, you knew this is not the type of bombshell to be dropped via snapchat or imessage, considering you two only used imessage to play game pigeon and the nature of your saved snaps was not welcome to an “i’m pregnant and you’re the father” chat.
you decided to just text him that you needed to talk when he got back.
to: nico (hookup)
hey lmk when you’re back in newark, we need to talk.
from: nico (hookup)
oh? 
from: nico (hookup)
everything okay?
to: nico (hookup)
not quite sure yet.
+++
five days later you found yourself at nico’s door, nine positive pregnancy tests in a ziploc bag in your purse. you were shaking, you don’t think you had ever been this nervous in your entire life.
nico opened up the door with a wide smile. you didn’t know what face you were making, but it was enough to make nico’s face fall and worry come through his tone of voice.
“y/n? what’s wrong?”
you didn’t even register his words, you just moved past him into his apartment and sat down on his couch.
“y/n?”
“i’m pregnant.”
the words fell out of your mouth before you could stop them.
nico sat there frozen on the loveseat as you pulled the pregnancy tests out of your purse.
around three minutes later you pulled your phone out and opened up some home makeover game, nico was still frozen.
“-oh and you’re the father but you probably already know that.”
+++
it was around four minutes later when nico finally opened up his mouth to speak.
“what are you going to do?”
his question made me a little angry, yes he wasn’t entirely at fault, but he could’ve at least taken
a little responsibility and said “we” instead of “you”.
“i don’t know yet, i have an appointment with an obgyn on saturday. i’ll learn about my options there.”
“what time?” nico asked, opening up his phone calendar.
“10:30.” you knew that nico had practice at that time because it was a game day. “you have practice, i’ll just let you know what i decide to do.”
“this is my child too, i want to be a part of the decision making.”
“well you’re not going to be the one taking care of them, i am.”
“what makes you think that? i mean obviously i will be on the road at times during the season, but when we’re on homestands and since we’ll be married we’ll have the off season together-”
“woah take a girl out to dinner before you propose nico.” you interrupted. “we aren’t getting married…” “we’ve done a whole lot more than just dinner, and yes we are? how are we supposed to raise this baby together if we aren’t together.”
“have you ever heard of co-parenting? -also who says i’m keeping it, i haven’t made my decision yet.” you get up from your spot on his couch. “look i have to go, i’ll tell you about my appointment tomorrow.”
nico let out a heavy sigh. “don’t make any decisions without me.”
+++
“y/n?” 
you looked up at the nurse who was holding the door open with their body and walked up to greet her, your knees slightly wobbling from the nerves running through you.
“please follow me into room two, i’m just gonna get your vitals.”
you stayed silent as she took your blood pressure and checked your reflexes, you had to take a moment to calm yourself down after you saw your weight, you had freaked out before you remembered that there was currently another being inside of you.
“alright your vitals look good.” the nurse spoke before exiting the room. “follow me into this room, you can go ahead and take a seat on the bed in the center of the room. the doctor should be in shortly.”
you nodded and thanked her before she exited and you took a look around the room, taking a few mirror selfies to send to the family group chat. you had told all of your immediate relatives over facetime on your way back from nico’s yesterday, the news was received better than you had planned so you couldn’t say anything about your mom’s comments on being a grandmother, she made it very clear she was on team “keep the baby and be a badass single mom in the city”.
you sat on the bed/chair thing, ripping the paper instantly as you tried to get comfortable.
you took your eyes off your phone as you heard a series of knocks.
“miss y/n?”
“yes, that’s me.”
“hi, i’m dr.swarn i’ll be assisting you today. is this your first ultrasound?” the middle aged woman asked.
“yes it is.”
“and do you know how far along you are?”
“i’m assuming three to four months…i just found out yesterday…”
“well we will find out today.” the doctor began getting the sonograph ready as you attempted to mentally prepare yourself. “-and i have to ask…the father, is he in the picture?”
“he is, but it’s complicated…we aren’t together.”
the doctor simply nodded before asking you to lift up your shirt and warning you that the gel might be cold.
after a few moments, a grainy black and white image showed up on the screen, dr. swarn pointing things out. “-and this is your baby! it is a couple weeks too early to figure out the gender, so i would estimate that you are about four months pregnant.” 
you didn’t really focus on anything she said though, all your attention was on that tiny blob.
“do you want to hear the heartbeat?”
as dr.swarn began to turn up the volume the door swung open.
a very out of breath and sweaty nico stood in the door frame, bent over catching his breath.
“sorry i’m late!” nico walked up towards where you were lying on the table and smiled up at the doctor. “i’m the father.”
dr.swarn smiled at him before speaking. “well you made it just in time, we were just about to listen to the heartbeat.”
she had the screen turned towards her so nico had yet to see the baby. “this is your baby-” dr.swarn turned the screen back towards you and nico. “and this is their heartbeat.”
it was like everything around you had disappeared and all you knew was the image of your baby and the sound of their heartbeat. nico grabbed your hand and effectively pulled you out of the trance you were in.
“would you like me to discuss your options with you?” dr.swarn asked, turning the heartbeat down.
“no, i’m keeping it.”
+++
you got a recording of the heartbeat and got a couple prints of the ultrasound before exiting the doctors office, nico getting the same things as you.
“so you’re actually gonna keep it?” nico asked once he had walked you to your car.
“yes i am, and i don’t expect you to be involved at all if you don’t want to…i can do this on my own.”
“well you won’t have to.” nico started. “move into my apartment.”
you sighed, but nico spoke again before you could. “look we don’t have to get married right away, just move in…we will see how things go from there.”
“nico- i’m not moving in with you, i am perfectly fine living in my apartment and so is the baby.” you didn’t mean for your tone to come off so harsh, well you did a little bit, but you didn’t want nico thinking that you would be getting together just because of your child together. “look nico, i know that you believe that to raise a child the mother and father need to be together but i don’t and i don’t want to be with someone just because people think we have to. i will not be having a shotgun wedding.”
“what is a shotgun wedding?”
“-it does matter. we are not getting together nico.” you got into the driver's seat of your car. “i don’t really know how this co-parenting shit works, and i’m assuming you don’t either so let’s just make sure to be patient with one another, okay?”
nico nodded before you said your goodbyes and drove off in the direction of your apartment.
+++
around two weeks later as you sat in your little cubicle your phone started ringing.
nico (hookup)
you sighed and saved the progress on your current project before picking up the phone.
“hello?”
“hey, are you home right now?”
“no, it’s two in the afternoon on a thursday. i’m at work.”
“oh i didn’t think you would work while pregnant…” “i need to fund this child’s life somehow.”
there was an awkward silence for a few moments before you spoke up again.
“did you need something nico?”
“well i called to ask if you would like to come over for dinner tonight.”
“what are you making? because i don’t mean to sound rude, but this child doesn’t like anything i cook and you’re much worse than me.”
“hey i’m not that bad!” you both chuckle before nico speaks again. “is there anything you’re craving right now?”
“jiggly cheesecake and that gouda mac n cheese with sausage i got when we went to new york two years ago.”
“okay i can’t make any of that.”
“just make whatever you want, i’ll force it down if the baby doesn’t like it. what time should i come over?”
“5:30?”
“okay, i’ll just come straight from work.”
you said your goodbyes before you go back to your work.
+++ 
once the clock struck 4:45 you called it a day and headed out to your car before driving to nico’s apartment.
you knocked on the door, a tad bit confused because you heard multiple voices on the other side of the door, if it wasn’t for the welcome mat on the outside that you had forced nico to get you would’ve thought you were at the wrong door.
“hey.” nico opened the door, the voices only getting louder.
“hey…are other people joining us…?” you asked, looking around his apartment confused.
“yeah i probably should've mentioned-”
nico had begun to speak, but a voice that you knew as nico’s mother. “is y/n here!?” soon you saw her smiling faces coming towards you with open arms. “oh come here, it’s been too long sweetie!”
god bless your work bag that seemed to span to five feet because it was hiding your baby bump that was very noticeable in your blouse.
“hello mrs.hischier, how are you?” you asked politely, but you were really wanting to strangle nico right now.
“i’m great! luca and nina are here too!”
“oh that’s great! i’ll go see them in a second, i just need to talk to nico really quickly.”
you smiled as she walked away before turning to nico and gave him a swift slap on the backside of his head. “are you crazy!? did you just ambush a pregnancy announcement on me!?”
“look, i know this probably wasn’t the best way to approach this, but my family needs to know.”
“i am fully aware of that, but this is something that you plan out, not something you spring on a pregnant woman!”
“i’m sorry! just- let’s go into the living room, nina really misses you.”
you had met nico’s family multiple times before and were especially close with his sister nina, she was the only one who knew of you and nico’s odd relationship and was the number one supporter of you two getting together.
you walked out, your work bag still covering yourself as you greeted luca and nina, the later giving you a look that only made you nervous.
you made small talk with the family before nico announced that dinner was ready. thankfully nico had brought your plate to you, both you and the fetus were happy with the look and smell of the fettuccine alfredo, with sausage, that nico had made. “thank you.”
as much as you didn’t want to, you had to set your work bag that had been used as a bump shield on the floor to eat, you just hoped everyone was too distracted by the food in front of them to notice.
“so what was the news that you had to share? i assume it has to do with y/n?” mrs.hischier spoke excitedly, it was obvious she was hoping that you and nico had started dating.
“y/n is pregnant and i’m the father and we are keeping it, but we are not together.” nico spoke quickly, his head down as if he was a child being scolded.
“oh…” 
it wasn’t the worst reaction that could’ve happened, but it definitely wasn’t the best one, but how good of a reaction could one get after they tell their mother they got their fuck buddy pregnant.
“we’re figuring this all out as we go, but i am very sorry mrs.hischier i understand this isn’t how one would usually want their son to become a father.” you apologized, your head was also down.
“i’m not angry, just shocked and a little bit disappointed in you nico…but everything happens for a reason so i fully support you two.” you and nico let out identical sighs as his mother revealed that she was not going to disown either of us.
+++
the rest of dinner went great, you even made plans for both yours and nico’s family to get together for a small gender reveal brunch before the hischier’s headed back to switzerland.
nina had called dibs on walking you out so you prepared yourself for the question you knew she was going to ask.
“are you absolutely, one hundred percent, serious when you say that you and nico are not together in any way, whatsoever, romantically?” nina asks, using too many synonyms for the word definitely.
“yes i am absolutely, one hundred percent, serious when i say that me and nico are not together in any way, whatsoever, romantically.” you reply, mocking her words.
she doesn’t seem too pleased by your answer and whines. “why? i want a sister and you are the only person i like, in general.”
“that is very sweet nina, but me and nico don’t like each other in that way. we’ve been…boinking for almost two years now. if either of us had feelings, i guarantee they would have been confessed by now and we probably would not be expecting a child out of wedlock in five months.”
nina let out an exaggerated sigh as you neared your car. 
“me and nico are just friends, okay?” you spoke, getting into the driver’s seat. 
“yeah friends who happen to boink on a weekly basis and are now expecting a child together.”
“i’ll see you at brunch on sunday nina.” 
+++
“i’m team boy and girl!”
“mom i already told you we aren’t having twins.” 
the sunday morning activities were supposed to be fun, and they were, but they were causing you a shit load of stress. 
it seemed like everything nico was doing was aggravating you, and when nico and your little brother were in the same room it was a recipe for disaster. plus your mother wasn’t any help, she teamed up with nico’s mother and kept pressuring you to at least move in with nico, who you believe put them up to it.
“okay let’s just get this over with!” you yelled out, just wanting to figure out the gender so you could go home and have some much needed alone time.
nico came up next to you holding the envelope that contained the gender. “you ready mommy?”
“ew, don’t call me that.”
everyone had their phones out and began counting down as nico opened up the envelope.
“it’s a…GIRL!”
everyone’s cheers only furthered your headache, but you gave nico a smile and side hug before going over to your mother who ecstatically hugged you.
“a baby girl! i’m so happy for you y/n, my first grandbaby!”
you quickly said your goodbyes, not bothering to eat any of the food that was made or open any of the gifts that were brought.
were you being a rude, ungrateful, bitch for no reason? yes. but you were too exhausted to care or feel bad about nico’s constant dejected looks on his face throughout the morning.
+++
the second you got home you passed out on the floor of your apartment , god bless the pregnancy pillow your mother had delivered to you because you had a weird thing for sleeping on hardwood floors. 
you woke up at three in the afternoon to a series of knocks at your door. you took a while to get up and once you did you regretted it because you saw nico looking very angry through the peephole. 
you grabbed a sharpie and a sheet of paper towel and wrote the words “GO AWAY” in a very bold font before slipping it under the door.
the knocking silenced for a moment before it got louder, along with a call of your name.
“y/n. open the fucking door.” nico was seething.
you opened up the door. “what? i was sleeping.” you pointed to the pillow and blanket on the floor of your kitchen.
“on the floor?”
“yes- what do you need nico?”
“you left the party so quickly that you didn’t even get to open up your gifts, or acknowledge them.” nico gestured to the large bag of wrapped gifts that sat at his feet. “you actually left the party so early that the food wasn’t even served before you had said your goodbyes, which by the way thanks for not saying goodbye to me and thanks so much for the fake smile and side hug you gave me after we found out the gender of our child. that’s gonna be a real joy to look back on.”
you felt your headache coming back, you were starting to believe the sole cause was nico.
“seriously what was your problem this morning?” nico asked after a few moments of silence.
“my problem was that i didn’t even want this baby in the first place and i know for a fact i’m not going to be a good mother, and you! nico you are my problem, everything you did this morning seemed to piss me off and it’s probably just the pregnancy hormones making me easily irritable, but you were getting on my fucking nerves by breathing this morning.” 
nico kicked the bag of gifts into your apartment in a fit. “well i’ll stop bothering you then.”
you knew you should’ve been a rational adult and went after him, but you weren’t, so you slammed the door and brought all the gifts to the living room so you could open them.
you smiled as you realized that all of the gifts were for you. your favorite candies and snacks, maternity clothes, and some prenatal care items that you probably should’ve started taking the second you found out you were pregnant, with the exception of one gift. it was from nico, you could tell by the poor wrapping job, you had been the one to wrap all of his christmas gifts ever since you met him except your own of course, those he always wrapped himself and they were a nightmare.
once you got his present unwrapped you found a boat load of mini devils gear. bibs, socks, a onesie, even a pair of noise canceling headphones. at the bottom of the box you found a very tiny devil’s jersey with the number thirteen on the back and a big patched “C” on the front. you teared up once you saw the big patched “DADDY” above the thirteen on the back and a matching bow headband with a small note. i’m writing this before the reveal and i know we don’t know the sex yet, but i’m hoping for a girl and i know you are too. i hope the headband is a little good luck charm that baby girl judith is on the way. - nico.
you teared up at the note, especially at nico remembering the name you’ve always wanted to name your first daughter.
you quickly called nico, tears streaming down your face and nose all stuffy.
“hello?”
“come back up…please.”
“on my way.”
+++
you stood by the door waiting for nico to knock and once he did you immediately opened the door and nearly tackled him from the hug you gave him.
“i’m sorry.” you mumbled, still crying.
“i know, it’s okay.”
you walked into your apartment and sat on your couch next to nico. “you remembered my baby names.”
“how could i forget them?” nico stated.
“what would you have done if it was baby boy gannon instead of judith?” you asked, turning your head that was leaned on his shoulder up to look at him.
“turn the headband into a bowtie…?”
you laughed at him before your stomach growled loudly.
“what are you in the mood for?” nico asked immediately.
“canes, but that’s in the city and i don’t wanna make you go to new york.” 
nico stood up after hearing your restaurant of choice. “c’mon, i’ll drive.”
+++
“how is it?”
“this is sex in a chicken tender nico, thank you for taking me here.”
nico laughed at your response before the both of you continued to eat a comfortable silence.
“hey tell your family that i’m sorry for how i was acting this morning, i am super grateful for them helping plan the reveal and to delay their flight to attend.”
“don’t worry, they understand that pregnancy emotions can be a lot, but i will still let them know.” nico said, making a mental note to text the family group chat.
“their gifts were very thoughtful too, how did nina know i like black licorice?”
“oh i let them know all your favorite things, that wasn’t alcohol.” nico shrugged as if it was no big deal.
you took a moment to process his answer, it wasn’t that weird for nico to know all of your favorite snacks and desserts, that’s what friends do…right?
+++
to: nico (hookup)
i have my sixth month checkup tomorrow at 10am, would you like to join?
from: nico (hookup)
yeah, do you wanna meet there or drive together?
to: nico (hookup)
could we drive together? 
from: nico (hookup)
of course, i’ll pick you up at 9:30, we’ll stop by mcdonalds for breakfast. i know you love their sausage muffins.
you hadn’t seen nico since the day of the gender reveal party and when you went into the city together to get canes. of course you stayed in contact, but it was hard with both of your work schedules that often collided. 
the next day nico was knocking on your door right at nine thirty in the morning, and you were still passed out. the pregnancy pillow and weighted blanket combo was not being your friend right now, though it was at 5am when the gremlin in your womb wouldn’t stop kicking. which she did for the first time earlier that day.
after about five minutes of nico knocking on your door with no response he began to fully panic, had you fallen down and couldn’t get up? were you dead in your bed? did you forget he was picking you up? so many things could’ve happened to you.
after a few moments of contemplating, nico decided that his only option was to break the door down. he began backing up a few steps and then running full force into your door, it took about seven tries for the door to fall to the ground.
the sound of the first impact of nico’s body was enough to wake you up. at the second impact you became aware of your surroundings, and at the third you thought someone was trying to break into your apartment.
you grabbed the closet weapon you could find, a meat pounder that you left on your kitchen counter last night, and got in position, ready to attack the person on the other side of the door.
once the door fell to the ground and the body fell on top of it, you got ready to swing.
“y/n!? are you alive!?”
“AHHH- nico!?” you froze your movements, the pounder hanging right above your head. “what are you doing here!?”
nico was still on the ground, also frozen as he tried to catch his breath. “ultrasound.”
you dropped your hands to your side as an ohhh played in your head. “i’m sorry i completely forgot. just give me a few moments and then we can leave.”
you turned around to enter your room before you froze and turned back around.
“i don’t have a front door…”
“i’ll text jack to come over and watch over the place and reattach it while we’re gone, the kid needs something to do this morning anyways.” nico said while pulling out his phone.
“does he know?”
“no, but he will…i’ve been meaning to ask you about telling the team anyways.”
“we can talk about it later , i need to get ready.”
you quickly got dressed, sporting a tight tank top, tight leggings, and a tight zip up. all tight because this baby had you gaining five pounds a minute. you huffed and puffed trying to get the tank top on. eventually you got it over your bump, but it was rising up and you were spilling out of it in too many places. deciding to just embrace the bummy look you threw on uggs, didn’t bother to put your contacts in, and left your hair in the rat's nest bun you’ve been wearing for the past five days since you were told to take a break from work by your boss, of course you had to faint in front of her.
“nico i need to get maternity clothes, i’m pretty sure these tanktop strings will snap if i raise my arm and don’t get me started on these leggings.”
“you’re huge…” 
“thanks nico, you’re really helping out right now.” you joked, but deep down you were upset. you don’t tell a pregnant woman she is huge, especially if it’s your baby. “let’s go, we can’t be late.”
“jack is almost here, babe.” the nickname slipped out before nico could even process what he was saying.
“uhm…”
“yo nico what’s up…where is y/n’s door.” jack said while walking into your apartment.
“you’re standing on it.” you spoke. jack’s eye’s wandered to you and then to your belly, and then they got really wide. “hi jacklyn.”
“oh shit.”
“we can talk about this later, but me and nico really have to go because we’re already running late.”
you and nico quickly walked out, the later telling jack that you had a toolbox under your sink and to “go crazy.” 
“no mcdonalds then huh?” nico asked as you got into his car.
“no, but i’ll be fine.”
+++
you weren’t fine.
you quickly got hangry and so did judith, nico seemed to be your punching for just about everything and even though he said he was fine, you could tell you hit home when you told him he needed to wax his eyebrows.
dr.swarn was completely fine with you guys being ten minutes late because she didn’t have anyone scheduled after you. the appointment went great except judith didn’t want to kick when nico felt your stomach, and of course nico’s hands were all dry and calloused which you hated feeling on your skin, and then after the ultrasound was over you guys rushed to mcdonalds because nico was determined to get you a damn sausage muffin, but of course you were two minutes past the cutoff for lunch and the teenager taking your order wouldn’t budge and you had to pretend like the cheeseburger didn’t come back up the second you got into the restroom. all you wanted to do is go home and be alone…and eat jalapeno poppers…and mozzarella sticks…
nico stopped at target to get what you wanted, and mac n cheese bites because he knew you’d love them.
you were pleasantly surprised when you arrived home to your door back on. luckily it had just separated itself from the hinges when nico tackled it to the ground, so it was an easy fix for jack.
once you stepped inside, nico quickly got to work, placing large portions of everything he bought in your airfryer. nico said it was crazy to buy a twenty size quart size air fryer and that you would never use it, but here he was being proven wrong.
you quickly changed out of the leggings and jacket, leaving the tank top on because you knew it would be just as much of a workout to get it off as it was to get it on and you threw on nico’s heart boxers he swears he wore as a joke, but you knew he picked them out at the store being one hundred percent serious.
“you two kids come sit down.” jack spoke loudly, as if he was your father.
“jack we are both older than you.” nico spoke sitting down in the spot next to you on your couch.
“doesn’t matter. you’re pregnant?”
you both nodded as jack pointed to you.
“-and you’re the father?”
you both nodded as jack pointed to nico.
“and you’re keeping it together as…”
“friends, just friends.”
“friends don’t have babies together.” jack gave you a skeptical look.
“they do now.” you stood up. “goodbye jack.”
+++
“i think it’s best if you two move in together, for both your safety y/n, and the babies.”
dr.swarn spoke before leaving you and nico in the room alone,
you were now seven months pregnant and you were constantly fainting, your boss had stopped allowing you to come into work and told you that you “needed rest” so you met her halfway and you now work from home.
nico was over one night after a game when he walked in on you passed out on the kitchen floor, but this time it wasn’t on purpose. he immediately began staying the night on your couch to make sure you were alright and as soon as you could he got you into dr.swarn’s office.
“i’m taking you home and we’re packing you up. i’ll text jack to come over with luke.” nico said as you exited the obgyn. 
“you know i can help right? judith is fine-”
“-but you’re not fine! you told dr.swarn that you’ve been fainting since even before you got pregnant, and i didn’t know. why didn’t you tell me about all this?” nico interrupted you, obviously upset.
“because it’s not important!” you snapped back. “it doesn’t affect judith in anyway, so i don’t understand you’re so worried.”
“it’s important because it affects you. i am worried about you, and i’m allowed to be. now there is no more arguments, you will be moving in with me and ending your lease at your current place.”
“nico-”
“no, that is final.”
+++
for the rest of the day you sat and watched tv while the two hughes and nico packed up your apartment until they had to pack your tv, which you insisted they did last.
“the truck is all loaded up, we’re gonna drive it over to nico’s and he is going to drive you in your car.” jack spoke as you approached where the truck was parked on the side of the street.
you nodded as nico helped you into the car. you hated admitting it, but you were much larger than you were expecting to be at this time in your pregnancy. 
+++
once you had made it to nico’s apartment you did the same thing you were doing before while the boys unpacked your stuff into the second bedroom, absolutely nothing.
you got up and waddled over to where the guys were all watching luke struggle to get the fitted sheet on your bed.
“can i please do something? anything?” you begged.
“yeah, go out and use my laptop to create a list of things you want as gifts at the baby shower, a registry because i know you want specific things for judith.” nico answered your begging.
“baby shower? i’m having a baby shower?” you had not been informed of this.
“yeah, all the guys on the team and their partners are gonna come, so are your friends and family, mine is coming too.” nico spoke like it was no big deal. 
nico had told the guys about three weeks ago because they saw the ultrasound in his locker. which in response had you getting multiple text messages from some of the girls all sounding very similar to “i thought y’all were just friends?” 
“when is this?” you asked, knowing you would need to get an outfit ready.
“next saturday, we have no game.” nico replied simply
“that’s in a week!” you shrieked, when you went maternity clothes shopping that did not involve any dresses.
“yeah, so you better get working on that list.”
+++
it only took you ten minutes to make the list because all you had to do was transfer it from a google doc, where it was already made but just titled as your shopping list, to a spreadsheet where people could claim a gift to give you, nico, and the baby.
it was a list with the basics. a stroller, breast pump, car seat (preferably one that went with the stroller), bed sheets, clothes, the essentials to keep a newborn alive, but you also had other things like decor for the nursery toys, and this bedside bassinet that your mother had been raving about since she saw it on facebook. you thanked god that your new room had a walk-in closet because that was going to be judith’s room. you weren’t even sure it was a closet because it was completely empty, no shelves or rods to hang anything on, it was more of a very small room, but it worked out better for you so you couldn’t complain.
you quickly went back to where the boys were, silently screaming as they made your bed completely wrong.
“please, oh please for the love of god, let me make my bed.” you begged nico, genuinely astonished that they had managed to put your pillows in the wrong order and put your comforter on inside out.
“i thought i told you to make your list?” nico said.
“i already finished. it was easy.” you said as you began stripping your bed of everything on it. “i just put down everything i already had on my shopping list…and then some because i know my friends are gonna wanna get me multiple things.”
you made sure to stare jack down as you put your comforter on the correct way before you placed your pillows in the correct order as well as the blankets at the end of your bed.
nico was quick to rush you back into the living room, turning on a movie for you to watch. you quickly got bored, which meant you quickly got hungry.
“nico!” you yelled out, needed your baby daddy to come to your rescue.
“yes honey?” nico approached where you were lying down, the two brothers laughing at their captain.
“i’m hungry.” you gave him a hopeful smile. “for taco bell…” “you’re order still the same as it was last time?” nico didn’t even hesitate to grab his shoes and keys. 
“yes, but if they have nacho fries please get those too.” you answered, nico had basically all of your fast food orders memorized by now.
“nico can i get some food too?” jack asked in a girly voice.
“please honey!” luke added.
“fuck off you two, go finish putting her clothes away.
+++
soon enough you had dragged nico out to go shopping for a dress for your baby shower. luke and jack had left shortly after nico arrived back home with your food and once you finished eating you got nico to drive you to the mall.
“ooh what about this one?” you pulled out a simple floral dress.
“it’s nice, but it’s only march. don’t you think it’ll be too cold for a tank top?” nico spoke, reminding you that it was still freezing cold in new jersey.
a few minutes later you approached where nico was sat in a chair with a dress you thought would be more appropriate. 
“what about this? i love the pink.” it was basically a dupe of the skims long sleeve dress, but you didn’t really care. “we’ll have to find a polo that matches the color while we’re out.”
nico approved of the dress so you were quick to go to the checkout and buy the dress, excited about the event that was going to happen, after you pulled nico into the closest department store and found a polo that was close enough to the shade of pink of your dress. 
“how are you gonna tell the media about…this whole thing?” you asked on the way home.
“what whole thing?” nico questioned, not exactly understanding what you meant.
“the fact that you knocked up some chick, who you are now living with to raise the baby, but you aren’t together with said chick.” you deadpanned, thinking of all the reactions you knew you were going to get from the hockey world. you could already see the “baby trapper” and “gold digger” comments and dms you would get.
“i didn’t knock up some chick, i knocked up my…friend?” 
“yeah go with that, it sounded real believable nico.” you said sarcastically.
“look i don’t really know how to tell the world that i got my hook up/best friend pregnant because, as jack as told me multiple times, my pull out game is weak.” you laughed and agreed with jack that nico did in fact have a weak pull out game, the evidence was currently kicking you. 
after a few moments of silence nico spoke up again. “alright what if we don’t mention our relationship at all. we just make an instagram post together of images of the ultrasounds and pics from the baby shower and tell everyone that we are expecting. we definitely won’t post the gender reveal video because you look like you were planning my death in it, but we just make the post and don’t comment on our relationship.”
you had to admit that it was a good idea, but you already knew that this would make everyone assume that you were dating. most people did already, which you understood. you wore playoff jackets with nico’s name and number, you attend team events and parties together, hell you went to the nhl awards with him and his family, and you are super close with his family, so you were never upset that people assumed your relationship status with nico because you did everything that the other girlfriends and wives did.
“i like that idea.”
+++
“alright this gift is from me and jack.” luke spoke as he handed you a gift.
you were a bit overwhelmed with the amount of people looking at you and just simply being in your home, but you knew that these people were here for you and at the end of the day you were getting a shit ton of gifts. 
so far every single thing you had put on your list was gifted to you and now it was just things people thought you or the baby would like.
“oh you guys…i love it!” it was a wood wall decal of judith’s name and it matched the pink polkadot of her sheets.
“there is more under it.” jack spoke up. 
you lifted up the large sign and saw a baby onesie in maize and blue that said “future wolverine.”
you and your friends started laughing at it. 
“you guys do know that i went to ohio state right?”
you were met with a disgusted stare by the brothers, more specifically the youngest, only causing you to laugh harder, not noticing nico’s pissed off expression, the one he had on his face all day.
+++
you continued to open up gifts and thank everyone, nico was one writing duty so he wrote down each gift and who it was from so you could send them thank you cards later in the week.
once presents were done it was photo time. you took lots with your family and nico’s family, as well as some with your friends, and of course you had to keep the tradition going with the girls from the team and took a picture of everyone pointing at your belly.
you only took a couple with nico, as he had been oddly distant all day.
after everyone left you and nico began moving everything into judith’s nursery and setting things up.
“thank you for setting that up, i had a lot of fun.” you spoke up, interrupting the awkward silence that was looming around you two.
nico nodded as he finished building the crib, you were given the simple task of putting all the wipes and diapers in the changing table’s cabinet.
“so once we’re done do you want to make the instagram post? or were you wanting to wait until after judith was born to post?” it was awkward, nico was just sitting there once the crib was all set up. “...nico?”
you were met with silence, nico was staring at you, yet not speaking.
“okay what the hell is up with you today? you’ve been weird all day, the only time you were even interacting with me was during pictures.” you had snapped, getting aggravated by the swiss’ behavior today.
“it’s nothing i just…” nico started speaking, but trailed off quickly.
“are you having second thoughts about all of this?” you whispered, scared to say it too loudly, scared that it is the truth. “second thoughts about judith?”
nico’s head instantly shook. “no, of course not.”
“then what’s wrong?”
“it’s nothing, i’m just not feeling the greatest and i didn’t want to risk you getting sick so i tried to keep my distance from you…” nico lied.
earlier, when the party was first starting, nico had overheard your conversation with your friends about how you couldn’t wait to give birth so you can start going out on dates and having meaningless hookups, saying that you missed being a twenty two year old who could do twenty two year old things. 
nico understood you had urges, hell he had his urges too. over the course of your pregnancy you and nico had the occasional…hang out, but ever since you moved it was happening once, sometimes twice, a day. he thought it meant something, he thought you guys were finally going somewhere, but it seemed like you just wanted to go back to how things were before, which would probably be impossible, you have a fucking kid togther.
nico had realized a year ago that he had feelings for you. the only reason he didn’t go full legal team on your ass when you told him you were pregnant was because of how desperately he had fallen for you.  
“oh, well you could’ve just told me that earlier, i was worried that i had done something.” you said before an awkward silence settled in the room. “well could you put all the sheets and clothes we got today in the washer? i’m gonna start on thank you notes in the living room.”
you shook off the tension as you exited the small room, nico gathering everything that needed to be washed in a small basket before going into the laundry room.
+++
“i don’t like that, why don’t we just wait to post until she is born to post everything, have the caption just be judith? i think that's better than a three hundred word rant that could be summarized by i knocked up my friend.” 
three weeks until you were due to pop and you and nico still hadn’t gone public with the pregnancy. of course the wag blogs found a way to get a hold of a picture of you and nico from earlier on in the pregnancy where people could only speculate whether or not you were with child or just had a large lunch and somehow it got out that you had moved in with nico, only furthering the rumors that had been going on for years that you and nico are more than just friends. 
“okay. let’s wait until she comes to post, but i don’t like that caption, let’s keep thinking.” nico replied, the devil’s PR team email staring back at him. “they want us to publicize it before someone else does it for us.”
“well it’s a good thing i’m chained to this bed until i go into labor.” you joked, you were so big you could barely sit up let alone walk anywhere. “no one is going to find out, don’t worry. it will all be okay.”
+++
two weeks later you had been having contractions all day, but dr.swarn said to not go to the hospital until your water had broke because these contractions could’ve been directly connected to stress. considering that your pregnancy was exposed three days ago, you would say that you were pretty stressed out.
one of the girls, not even thinking, had posted a photo dump on instagram to celebrate the devil’s season ending and included one from your baby shower. nico, you, and unborn judith right in the center of it all. it was quickly taken down, but the damage had already been done and now all of nico’s and your social medias were being flooded by comments. 
nico was currently at locker cleanout, and the meeting he had to have with the PR team to apologize for not listening to them and to set up a game plan to rescue him from whatever deepshit this was going to get him in was scheduled for right after.
you were laid down on the kitchen floor, your mother was somewhere in the living room timing your contractions. you were having a big contraction, holding onto the nearby chair leg for support, when you felt a gush of liquid puddle under you. 
“MOM!?” you yelled out, your water had just broke.
“sweetie!? what’s going on- OH LORD!” your mother scrambled to get you on your feet as you cried out in pain. “let me get the bag!” you had never seen your mom run so fast, you would’ve laughed at her nearly tripping if it wasn’t for the child threatening the slip out at any moment.
you were assisted into the backseat of your mother’s car as she drove to the hospital.
“if you could step on it, that would be great i’m kinda-” your sarcastic comment was cut off by another contraction. “nico…oh my god nico! i need to call him!”
you fished around the packed bag until you got a grip on your phone, dialing up nico as quickly as possible.
“i’m sorry but the number you reached is not available. please leave a message at the sound of the beep.”
you groaned loudly, speaking into the phone. 
“your child is currently in the process of being born, i’m at the hospital closest to the arena. please hurry.”
+++
you laid in the weirdly comfortable hospital bed, not yet fully dilated. it worked out in your favor because nico had yet to show up. you left a couple text messages and then a few more voicemails.
“i don’t know what the fuck your doing right now, but if judith is born before you get here your last name will not be on the birth certificate.” you said into the microphone, leaving the third voicemail of the day.
nico’s entire family was flying in next week and nico had made sure that he had all of next week off from any media or anything related to hockey so he could be there for the birth, but now judith was coming early and no one but your mother was here.
dr.swarn entered your hospital room again, she had arrived shortly after you because you had paged her the second you got into the car. “how are we doing momma?”
“not good, baby daddy is nowhere to be seen and i’m still not dilated enough to get this monster out of me.” you answered, setting your phone down beside you.
after a few moments dr.swarn smiled. “well i’m sorry about nico’s absence, but judith is ready to come out. you’re ready to push.”
+++
you don’t remember much, the epidural had kicked in. 
you remember holding onto your mom’s hand so hard that she yelped in pain at one point.
you remember cursing nico for not only doing this to you, but not being there for you.
you remember crying, a lot, and you remember judith crying a lot too.
you remember holding judith for the first time. both of your tears stopped for just a moment as you had skin on skin contact.
you whimpered as they took her away for cleaning, but soon she was wrapped up and you were able to hold her again. 
you remember the sound of footsteps and a thick swiss accent begging to be let into the room, continuously yelling that he was the father. your mother was quick to go into the hall and defend nico from the nurses saying he couldn’t go into the room, and as soon as nico saw you holding judith he began crying. 
“y/n i am so so sorry, i was-”
“where the hell were you!? i just had to give birth to our daughter without the father there!” you scolded the man.
“i put my phone at the bottom of my bag during locker cleanout and didn’t even think to take it out before my meeting with management. i got here as fast as i could.” nico had to catch his breath while he spoke.
“i was all alone…” you teared up, all of your emotions catching up to you again.
“i know. i know baby and i’m so sorry.” nico said, coming to your side. “can i hold her?”
you were too distracted by nico calling you baby, well more specifically by the feeling in your stomach, to answer with words. you just nodded and handed judith over. “be careful, and make sure to support her head.”
you smiled at the sight of nico holding judith, tears in his eyes, quickly taking a picture.
“were you serious about my name not being on the birth certificate?”
+++
once everything had settled down and you and nico were finally given some alone time in the hospital room you began making calls.
your mom had already messaged your families group chat, informing them of judith’s birth and sending pictures, so now you just had to call nico’s family. first was his mother, you had wanted to call her before you went into labor but it was around midnight for her and you didn’t want to wake her up.
she was so happy to hear from you, and you had never heard such an excited scream in your life when you turned the camera onto where judith was currently sleeping in your arms, nico having moved to lay behind you in the bed, his chest being your pillow.
“oh you have to call nina next, she has been so excited to become an aunt!”
that’s exactly what you two did.
facetime nina was fun, she gave you some much needed comic relief and she didn’t make any comments on yours and nico’s relationship…while he was in the room.
the second nico stepped out of the room nina was quick to ask when the wedding was.
“never gonna happen. i don’t like nico like that, and he doesn’t like me like that.” you said while putting judith back in that plastic jail they call a crib. “we’re here to talk about my gorgeous daughter who looks a little too much like nico for my liking.”
“ouch.” 
your head whipped around to see nico standing at the door. “your back early.” you were hoping he didn’t hear what you had said earlier. lately nico had been acting insanely weird everytime someone brought up your relationship with one another.
“the nurse was just outside, she’s gonna go finish the final paperwork and we’ll probably be out of here in the next hour.” nico said before turning back around. “i’m gonna go help out with the discharge papers.”
once he left you let out a groan. “nina why is your brother acting so weird?”
“what’s up with him?” she asked, curiously.
“ever since the baby shower he has just been…off. i don’t even know how to explain it.” you  started off, beginning to pace around the room. “he is so distant, and really out of it. i would think it might just be with the upsetting ending of the season, but this has been going on since before the playoffs. he keeps saying that he is sick and doesn’t want to expose me to germs, but i live with him and i haven’t even heard him sneeze from allergies.”
“do you think, and i hate to ask this, that he is having regrets about…everything?” 
you felt tears fill your eyes at her question. “yeah, i do. i asked him, and he denied it, but i can’t think of any other reason why he would distance himself from me and from judith.”
the lack of response from your friend on the phone was enough to make you start crying.
“i have my essentials packed up and my mom has a lawyer on speed dial just in case something happens…” you felt horrible having to admit this, especially to his sister. “i don’t want the lawyers, it’s my moms doing.” you felt guilty for what having a lawyer would be implying. 
“-i’m not judging you. just make sure nico doesn’t find out, i have a feeling he won’t be a fan of you even having a bag packed.” nina cut you off. “look i have to go, just keep me updated.”
you assured her you would before saying your goodbyes.
+++
“hey you just have to sign the discharge papers and the birth certificate, then we can leave.” nico said, entering the hospital room you had been in for the past couple of hours.
it had been around twenty minutes since you said goodbye to nina, deciding to finish phone calls tomorrow and instead spend your time crying while holding your crying newborn, best way to bond right?
“okay.” you sniffled. “could you put judith in her carseat? i’m gonna change.”
bond right?
“okay.” you sniffled. “could you put judith in her carseat? i’m gonna change.”
nico nodded and picked judith up from the hospital’s crib, holding her close to his chest and staring at her in awe. he couldn’t believe that this precious little girl was his.
“i’m always going to love and protect you, no matter what. your mother too. someday we’ll be a happy family, the three of us, hopeful gannon will join us sometime soon…” nico trailed off. “daddy loves you and he loves mommy too, you’re the two most important women in my life now, don’t you ever forget that…your mommy does a lot.” 
nico couldn’t finish his peptalk, or whatever one would call the conversation with his daughter, because you had stepped out of the bathroom changed and ready to go. “are you okay?” it was obvious that you were crying, you don’t know why you were even trying to hid it. 
“i’m fine, just emotional…just gave birth ya know.” you tried to laugh it off.
nico didn’t believe it. “we’ll talk when we get home.” 
+++
“why have you been acting so weird-”
“i overheard what you said-”
you and nico spoke at the same time, nico gesturing for you to go first.
“you overheard!?” you were convinced you were breaking a sweat from how panicked you had become in an instant. “look nico, the lawyer was my mother’s idea a-and i haven’t even actually talked to them yet, my mother just has them on retainer.”
“wait, what!?” nico stared at you with a look that scared you. “i was talking about what you said at your baby shower. you have a lawyer!? do you have all your things packed too so you’re ready to leave me and take judith with you!?” your silence only made nico angrier. “oh my god you do have your shit packed.”
“j-just the essentials…” you stuttered out.
“yeah because that makes a difference.” nico had distanced himself from you. “i cannot believe this.”
“i only did that stuff because for the past month it's seemed like the last thing you wanted was to be in mine and judith’s life!” your loud voices woke judith up, her loud wails only making the room more tense. you picked her up and tried to soothe her as you spoke to nico. “i’m only gonna ask you one more time nico, do you regret being with me and deciding to be in judith’s life?” 
“no. i do not regret it y/n.” nico spoke sternly.
“then why the hell are you treating us this way?” 
“because i am in love with you.”
your eyes widened in shock and you nearly lost your grip on judith from the whiplash that seemed to go through your body.
“you…what!?” 
it was essentially a stare down between the two of you, it was so uncomfortable in the room that even judith shut her mouth. 
“i have for a year now, probably longer, a-and i thought that judith would finally be my way into your heart. i thought that me being there for you, and for our daughter, would make you love me too.” nico’s tone of voice was one of a kicked puppy. 
“what are you doing?” you asked, not pleased with what he was throwing onto you. “why are you telling me this?” 
“i just needed you to know.” nico whispered his response, not expecting that reaction.
“so you’ve been in love with me for a year now?” nico nodded at your question. “so how does that add up to you treating me like some gold digging whore who got pregnant on purpose for the past month?” 
“i’m not-” nico let out a heavy sigh. “at your baby shower you said you couldn’t wait for everything to get back to how it was before the pregnancy.”
“yeah, so?”
“so!? you’ve basically been counting down the days until you’re able to fuck someone else, while i’ve been doing everything in my power to prove myself to you that i am worthy of being more than just the guy you fuck when no one else is available.” nico grew angry, if this was a cartoon steam would be coming out of his ears.
“i didn’t ask for you to do that nico! i was happy with how things were before judith, is it so wrong to want that back?” you were equally as angry. who was he to make you feel guilty about not being in love with him?
“yes it is! you are a mother now y/n, you are not allowed to be irresponsible anymore. you have to take care of two lives now-”
“are you not going to be helping me!?” you interrupted nico.
“when i can, yes i will, but i have a job that keeps me away a lot.” 
you rolled your eyes at his words. “you are not allowed to dictate my love life just because you knocked me up.”
you didn’t know if you should be thankful or agitated that judith decided to start crying at that moment, but either way you started your slight bouncing movements back up to try and settle my daughter, as odd as it was to use that term in a real scenario, and tried to find those parental instincts everyone was always talking about.
“she’s probably hungry.”
“i didn’t ask you…but thank you i will try that.”
+++
the first night with judith was rough. as much as nico wanted to, he couldn’t leave you alone and retreat off to the hughes’, both because if his mother found out, and she would, he might as well get his obituary ready in advance and he just could not handle the torture the brothers would put him through.
it was like your daughter had a sixth sense for when you were just about to fall asleep, choosing those exact moments to cry out for something. you never knew what she wanted, always going through the same order of “milk, diaper change, pacifier, cuddles, burping, scenery change, and clothing change” until one of them worked. 
nico slept on the couch, it was close enough to your room where if judith began to cry he would hear it and wake up. he was going to stay in your room with you and judith, but after the blowup of him confessing his feelings and you borderline rejecting him things it got a bit awkward. still now, almost twenty four hours later you and nico hadn’t had a proper conversation let alone spoken about what had happened. 
you were on the phone with nina for a while, then your mother, then nina and your mother, both of them giving you their advice but following it up with “just listen to your heart.”, so it was all canceled out in your mind. 
you turned to your newborn, who was staring at you from her little bed next to yours. “judith what am i supposed to do? your daddy, the one with the funny voice, is so amazing and sweet. he treats me like a princess, so why am i struggling so much to figure out what i want with him?” 
judith stared at you with those large brown eyes, a small look of adoration on her face. 
“i love you.” you whispered to her. “-and i love your father too.” 
you sat up in bed, eyes widening at your revelation. you love nico. 
“oh judith, thank you for listening to your mommy!”
you hopped out of bed, rushing into the living room. “nico! nico! nico! nic-”
“what!? what's wrong!? is judith alright!?” nico basically jumped off of the couch, worried that something had happened.
“she’s fine, everything is fine…well not everything it’s just.” you took a moment to look at nico, the lighting was horrible yet he still looked amazing. “i love you too nico.”
there was a silence that followed, it wasn’t awkward or filled with tension, just a calm silence. 
you blinked and then suddenly nico’s lips were on yours. 
the sound of judith’s cries separated your lips and caused you both to race to your bedroom.
spoiler alert: nothing was wrong with judith, she was just crying to cry. 
nico’s arms were wrapped around you and were holding you into his chest as you both laughed. 
“so what now? are we dating? getting married?” you asked, leaning your head against nico’s shoulder. 
“as much as i would love to get married right now, we’ll start with dating…so will you be my girlfriend?” nico asked, mumbling against your head and giving light kisses every now and then.
“yes, i will be your girlfriend.”
“yes!” 
you laughed at his response, judith held in both of your arms. “let’s go to bed, she’s finally asleep.”
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nicohischeir and y/nonfilm
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nicohischier me, my girlfriend, and our beautiful babygirl. welcome to the world judith.
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jackhughes god father mode activated😎
y/nonfilm …who said you were the god father?
ninahischier best day ever!! i got a niece and a sister 🩷🩷
njdevils baby hischier alert‼️
comments on this post have been limited
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note: i 100% HATE this ending (the whole thing actually) it’s so rushed and just bleh, but i have literally been working on this for 71 days. SEVENTY ONE DAYS. college has been kicking my ass lately so i haven’t been very focused on writing anything. but i hope y’all still like this PLEASE DON’T LET IT FLOP i’ll cry. okay love y’all babes BYEEEE!!!
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inamoratasonata · 18 days ago
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Broken Silence Axel Kovacevic x Reader
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Summary: Axel Kovacevic has always kept to the sidelines, especially when it comes to her—the girl who silently owns the corner of the library. Quiet, reserved, and a little lost in his own world, Axel has admired her from afar. But one rainy afternoon, he decides to take a chance. Will this quiet encounter lead to something more, or will she remain just a dream?
It was a rainy Tuesday afternoon when Axel Kovacevic first saw her again. He’d noticed her before, of course—how could he not? She was always in the same corner of the library, tucked away with her books, headphones on, completely immersed in her world. He’d passed by her countless times, but each time, he’d only dared to glance her way before quickly looking down at his shoes or pretending to focus on something else. He wasn’t the type to make a move, not in the way other people did, the ones who had the confidence to strike up a conversation or make their presence known. Axel had always been quieter, a little more reserved. It was easier that way.
Today, however, something was different. Maybe it was the way the rain pattered against the library windows, the world outside muted and distant, or maybe it was just the weight of unspoken thoughts pressing on his chest. Axel had never been great at talking to people, especially not the ones who made his heart race just by existing in the same room. But there she was again—the girl who had taken up residence in his mind for weeks now—and today, Axel decided, maybe he’d take a chance.
He gathered his things: a textbook he barely understood, a notebook filled with scribbles that could hardly be called notes, and his usual iced coffee that had long since turned lukewarm. His friends often teased him for always sitting at the same table by the window, as if he didn’t like change. But today, that wasn’t where he was going.
No, today, he was going to her corner.
Axel hesitated as he walked down the narrow aisles between the towering shelves, each one seemingly closing in on him. His stomach twisted with nerves. What if she didn’t want to talk to him? What if she didn’t even notice him? All those thoughts buzzed in his mind, but as he rounded the corner, there she was again—curled up in her usual spot, completely lost in the pages of a book.
Her name was (Y/N), something Axel had learned from overhearing her in passing, when she spoke to someone else. But that was all he knew—her name, and the fact that she was as quiet and solitary as he was. She wasn’t one for small talk, and neither was he. But the thought of never talking to her at all felt like a missed opportunity he might regret forever.
Taking a deep breath, Axel pushed his anxiety aside. He approached her table, the clink of his shoes on the hard floor sounding louder in his ears than it ever had before. She didn’t notice him at first, so he waited for a moment, lingering awkwardly by the side of her chair.
“Uh, hey,” he said, his voice low, almost drowned out by the soft hum of the library’s quiet atmosphere. He winced at how uncertain he sounded.
She looked up from her book, her (Y/E/C) eyes meeting his with a surprise that quickly turned into a soft smile. “Hey,” she replied, her voice gentle, like a breeze on a warm day. “Can I help you with something?”
Axel almost froze. This wasn’t how he’d imagined this moment going—he hadn’t expected her to look so effortlessly calm, so… comfortable. He had spent so many nights thinking about what he’d say, crafting a perfect line, but now that he was standing here, everything felt messy, unorganized, like his thoughts were tumbling over themselves.
“I, uh,” he cleared his throat, his fingers fiddling with the strap of his bag. “I’ve seen you around the library a lot. You’re always in this corner.”
(Y/N) chuckled softly, a sound that made something warm flutter in Axel’s chest. “Yeah, it’s kind of my spot. I like it here. The quiet helps me focus.”
Axel nodded, his hands now nervously resting on the edge of the table. “I get that. I usually sit by the windows, but I—well, I thought maybe I’d try something different today.”
Her smile grew a little warmer, and Axel couldn’t help but notice the way her (Y/H/C) hair framed her face. There was something about her that made him feel like he’d been missing out on something, like there was a world of conversation and ideas just waiting for him to step into it.
“I’m (Y/N), by the way,” she said, her voice soft but inviting.
“Axel,” he replied, feeling an odd sense of relief. They had finally exchanged names, something that made this moment feel less like an impromptu encounter and more like an actual conversation.
They both stood there for a beat, unsure of what to say next. Axel wasn’t exactly the best at small talk, and it seemed (Y/N) wasn’t either. But she didn’t seem uncomfortable, just curious, like she was willing to see where this went. For the first time, Axel felt like maybe it was okay to let the silence hang between them. Maybe that was enough.
“What are you reading?” Axel asked, glancing down at the book in her hands, the title unfamiliar to him.
“Oh, it’s a collection of short stories by Kafka,” she said, her eyes lighting up as she spoke about it. “I’m trying to get through all of his works. I find his writing really fascinating—how he captures human nature and the way we cope with absurdity.”
Axel blinked, genuinely impressed. He had read The Metamorphosis for class once, but he had never given much thought to Kafka beyond that. “That sounds… interesting,” he said, though he wasn’t sure if he could fully grasp what she was saying. Still, he wanted to keep the conversation going. “I mean, I don’t think I’d get that deep into it, but it sounds like you really like it.”
She smiled again, the edges of her eyes crinkling slightly. “I guess I do. But I get why it’s not for everyone. Some of his stories are pretty strange, even for me.”
Axel laughed quietly, feeling his nerves ease just a little. There was something so effortlessly disarming about her—her intelligence, her calm demeanor, the way she spoke with such clarity and passion. It made him want to know more, to be a part of her world.
“Well, if you ever want someone to talk about it with, I’d be up for that,” Axel said, his words coming out more confidently than he expected. He couldn’t believe he’d said that, but it felt right. It felt like a step toward something, even if it was small.
(Y/N) looked at him for a moment, her expression softening as if considering his offer. “I’d like that,” she said, her smile growing just a little. “Maybe we can meet up next week and discuss it. I could use a fresh perspective.”
Axel nodded, his heart racing now for entirely different reasons. This was happening. He was talking to her—really talking to her. Not just standing in the same room or glancing from afar. He was here, with her, and maybe—just maybe—this was the start of something new.
“Sounds good,” he said, smiling back at her. “I’ll see you then.”
As Axel walked away, heading back to his usual spot by the window, he couldn’t help but feel a little lighter. The rain outside had started to pour harder, but inside, it was as if everything had shifted. He hadn’t expected anything big to happen today, but somehow, he’d taken a step toward something bigger than he had ever thought possible.
For the first time in a long while, Axel felt like he was exactly where he was supposed to be.
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vhaos-chaotic-writing · 1 month ago
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HII you don’t have to do this and srsly I hope you day is amazing and GAHH IM SO SORRY IM SHY I’ve never requested anything before >0<
But I was wondering if it’s okay to request TFP yandere Arcee with a fem cybertronian reader? I just love my arcee content ghghgh
Love uuu 💕💕 (also sorry if this is a bother AA-)
NOT A BOTHER!!! I LIKE THIS REQUEST!!! \(@^0^@)/ I'm still working on a TFA request, the "Rebirth" TFO Optimus part 2 and I have many ideas to write! (╹ڡ╹ )
(TFP) Yandere!Arcee w/ Fem!Cybertronian!Reader
WARNINGS: Yandere behaviour, typical violence from the show and a little bit more. Reader is female, cybertronian and an Autobot (and just an inch smaller than Arcee because I say so). Use of (Y/N). Cliffjumper was an ArceeReader shipper def def.
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As I stated on a past post, my TFP Arcee is a violent yandere.
The suffering, the loss and the trauma has made her resent, hate and be stuck in her own cycle of grief, the anger boiling her energon and from time to time making her sight get blinded from the wrath and need to bring justice by her own servo against those who have hurt her - who have hurt the ones she loved and care for.
Arcee is a force that, while not may be the strongest, is still moving and always stands up, again and again. It's like a fire that can't be but off, growing again and again to burn everything in her path.
Everything - except you.
Precious you; one of her teammates that has been nothing but sweet, kind, patient and respectful with Arcee.
At first she tried to push you away, so she could be consumed by the fire of her wrath on her own.
But you kept trying and trying to reach for her - and you managed to make your way into her spark.
"Leave me alone, (Y/N)." Arcee growled, frowning as she clenched and unclenched her jaw, her servos, feeling like she was about to explode like a bomb.
With a concerned frown, you approach her slowly but making sure to make your steps be heard and slowly wrap your arms around her torso.
And the contact of your frame and her suddenly makes everything go silent for her.
And Arcee is surprised - since she lost Tailgate, everything became too loud. When she lost Cliffjumper, everything became too deafning it was making her go mad.
But with you... everything is quiet.
That long lost peace came back to her.
"Please, don't close off with that suffering from us, from me, Arcee." You say, nearly sounding pleading. Your helm rested against the back of hers. "You are important to us - to me. I can't stand and just... see you suffer by yourself. I won't ask you to forgive, to forget or - or anything. Just... let me stand by your side, please."
From that day on, Arcee felt like her spark and yours bonded; it was like whatever your spark felt, hers felt it too.
While she allowed to open herself, to vent and let out the sorrow she kept holding at the loss and grieving, healing from it and learning to let go of Tailgate's and Cliffjumper's death as you held her - her obsessive, violent love for you started to bloom.
The rest of the team at first were so happy to see you and her bonding, growing closer and see you getting to help Arcee to heal and move on.
But then things started to get... more concerning.
And you noticed it, too.
In the beginning you thought nothing about it - yes, Arcee was glued to you, but that's what friends do (even more at times of war). You brought her support, unconditional love and care. For Primus' sake, you and her started to fall in love! (It was there way before Cliffjumper's death - he was well aware of it, always teasing you and trying to get Arcee to develop a crush on you, too).
But... she would always act as a small barrier between you and the others. It was subtle and passive (slightly more aggressive with Smokescreen around, it didn't go well when he flirted a little with you when he arrived...)
And you finally understood how badly the situation was relating to Arcee when you were out on a mission with her.
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"(Y/N)!!!" Arcee's scream made Bumblebee, Optimus, Smokescreen, and Bulkhead turn their helms at where Arcee and you were.
All of you got out on a mission after Ratchet managed to pin point a cave full of energon - if all of you wanted to get that energon back to the base, then you all needed as many servos as possible to carry it. But of course, the decepticons arrived in time with the same objective and a battle broke out.
The autobots got to take the majority of raw energon they could way before the decepticons arrived - and Optimus called for a retreat. But when you started to run towards the groundbridge, about to grab Arcee's servo so you two could run together and escape with the others, a still standing vehicon fired its weapon at you.
The shot reached your backplates, making you let out a pained cry as you fell to the ground. Arcee's wail was loud. And for her, everything started to go too slow.
Your expression of pain, your frame falling forward to the ground as your optics were locked with hers full of pain and already forming tears, the smoke coming from your injury, the weight of your frame falling into her arms, the shape of the vehicon with its weapon pointed at you...
Arcee saw nothing but red.
Arcee heard nothing but your cry, echoing inside of her systems, hurting her whole being as if she was the one injured.
The moment she heard the heavy steps of Bulkhead and Bee's beepings getting closer to where you two were, she got to let you kneeling on the ground, and when Bee was reaching for you to hold, Arcee allowed him to take her place... and started to run towards the vehicon.
Neither Bulkhead, Optimus nor Smokescreen got the opportunity to shoot at the vehicon when Arcee was already over them.
With the cry of a warrior, full of wrath and a burning despair, Arcee started to punch the vehicon, keeping it pinned on the ground harshly with one of her servos while she kept punching it with her other servo. Arcee kept screaming like a wounded animal, her optics holding nothing but the need to destroy, the need to kill. Her punches even broke the vehicon's faceplate and kept going to the point she started to splatter energon with each following punch.
The gory sight made the little remaining vehicons to retreat, too. Leaving their already lost teammate at the mercy of Arcee's hate.
When the offlined vehicon's faceplate was no longer recognizable and there was silence around her, Arcee stopped screaming and punching, catching her breath and staring down at the destroyed vehicon that dared to hurt you.
There was energon dirtying her servos, her frame, even a little bit her faceplate. Her throat felt raw for screaming that much and with such force.
The others were... frozen in place.
Arcee slowly turned towards her team, but they soon became blurred shapes when her attention was put on you. And she left the broken vehicon and ran towards you. Bee moved quickly away from you, and Arcee held you close to her.
"You'll be okay, (Y/N) - You'll be okay. You'll be okay." Arcee started to mumble, quick to carry you with her arms and servos and ran towards the groundbridge. "Don't worry, it's okay - you'll be okay. They can't hurt you anymore, I'll keep you safe. I'll avenge you."
You were still alive, the injury was not life treatening - hurtful, yes, but you'll live. But her muttering, her words, her promises... it made your spark twist, fearful. You could only stare up at Arcee with fear. The energon on her frame now dirtying you.
Back in the base, while Ratchet treated you and Arcee made you company, never letting go of your servo, the rest of the team quietly discussed about what just happened... about how destructive Arcee was, ending the life of the vehicon that got to hurt you in such a gruesome way, with her own servos.
Her love for you was too violent - she would destroy, burn and kill anything if it meant to keep you safe and sound. She was going to end everything before it takes you away from her.
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I need Arcee to get me pregnant. ♪(´▽`) Vhaos out!
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months ago
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Am I the asshole for getting mad my gf for making assumptions ?
🦖🍀
My gf and I have been together for 2 and a half years. She’s in her mid 20s I’m in my late 20s. We’re a het couple, both bisexual. When we first started dating my gf said she has a lot of friends, guys and girls and she intends to not break up any already established friendships unless they prove toxic. It was hard at first not to let my jealous run wild, but I learned to manage it.
My gf has this long distance friend who wasn’t always long distance, we’ll call him Sam. Sam and her have been friends since they were teenagers. I only heard about stories of Sam. Sam moved in the area and my gf and him have been hanging out. I’ll be honest I was jealous. They had better conversations, they motivated each other in ways I didn’t know I could motivate my gf. I felt like everything they did was a slap in the face that should have been together.
My gf has her life together and so does Sam. I often feel like I don’t and my gf often emotionally supports me. I don’t really feel like I can do that for her equally. (I do put in the effort but she doesn’t have as many problems as me/her problems she always in the conversation that they’re her problems to fix). She doesn’t outwardly ask Sam to support her, she’ll just mention in passing about something and he just good at letting her rage out.
To deal with my jealousy, my gf gave me her location, would let me know when she was hanging out with Sam, offered to let me pick out outfits, and ask all questions I wanted. Even with all that I still didn’t feel it. It wasn’t that they were doing anything, it was the fact they were a better match. I finally asked her if she ever did have feelings for Sam and she just straight up said no.
So she made me hangout with Sam. And I started hanging out with him more. Hes a lot, but good hearted. He was a guy I actually opened up to and didn’t regret it. I didn’t tell him the stuff I felt about him and my gf but we talked about other things and how it’s hard to be a man sometimes.
Later Sam invited us over to his place for dinner. He said he had something to ask us. He did this confession where he had fallen for the both of us and wanted us to be a three way couple.
I was shocked because at first I thought I finally had my proof something was going on between my gf and Sam. Before I could fully process that thought, my gf declined. She said that she isn’t interested in Sam that way, and my gf and I had talked about polygamy and we never liked the idea of it for us.
She wasn’t lying about the polygamy thing we have talked about it and really didn’t like the concept. We needed up leaving and hugged sam goodbye. She thanked him for asking us both at the same time and they’d talk soon.
On the way home I thought about it and I was kinda annoyed. I was annoyed my gf made that decision so quickly without even discussing it. So I asked her and she just said that we’ve talked about it already and we weren’t interested in the hypothetical and she doesn’t like Sam like that. She apologized for letting her gut do the talking but she can’t imagine having a third.
I had started thinking about Sam as a third when he had brought it up and it didn’t seem bad. His confession was genuine. I thought it was mean how fast she said no. And maybe Sam would be the only one who could be our hypothetical 3rd if we ever wanted that.
I think I’m more offended that my gf has always been more decisive than me. She has been the one holding the reins in this relationship. It hasn’t been all bad, but when I wanted to talk about getting serious she wasn’t ready, but then later she was ready and I wasn’t. When I wanted her to move in with me she didn’t because she was ready and didn’t want to give up her space, but when she found a bigger place for us she was ready.
I’ve been kinda cold to her and she asked what’s wrong and I just told her I wish we would talk about this instead of letting your gut talk. She’s grown a little distant just saying she doesn’t know what she wants to say to that because she thought we were on the same page and I said she always assumes we are but we don’t talk.
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neo127 · 1 month ago
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ʚɞ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ my heart is yours
synopsis. y/n writes love letters to jake, even though he’ll never receive them. pairing. sim jaeyun x gn!reader genre. fluff, strangers to lovers + headcanons (sort of??) notes. i wanted to do smth different!! maybe i’ll make this into a series with the boys…and make an angst one!
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✉︎ i hope this letter finds you well…lol sike you will never ever get this. i just hope you’re doing okay. obviously i’m too much of a wuss to actually go up to you in person and ask, so i might as well get my feelings out somehow. i like to imagine that you’ll receive this and appreciate how much i care for you. but unfortunately, you don’t really know that i exist so this is how i will show my affection. maybe one day we will speak…
love, y/n
✉︎ jake! i can’t believe you actually spoke to me today. even though it was simply asking me how i did on midterms, it was still special. the way your eyes lit up when you explained how you managed to get a stellar score on your physics exam…definitely enough to make me melt. the fact that you acknowledged me definitely makes me feel more confident to speak to you now. obviously i can’t tell you how this hopeless crush is running my life, but baby steps! i hope you’re doing well as always and that you get the well deserved rest you need after midterms.
love, y/n
✉︎ jake, you asked for my number. it’s crazy how close we’ve gotten only after a couple of weeks. this really isn’t good for my heart…but it also makes me happy that you know i exist. and the fact that you asked for my number first? i almost couldn’t believe my ears. since we’ve started talking more, i’ve been paying attention more to your habits. you seem to fidget with your hands a lot in class, often playing with the rings on your fingers that only makes me want to intertwine them with mine. you also run your hand through your hair a lot, which looks really fluffy and i honestly have to hold back the urge to touch it. or whenever you bit your lips, my thoughts go elsewhere but i would rather not expand on that. i don’t want to sound like a creep…it’s simply and observation. you’re so pretty, i can’t help but take glances from time to time. anyway, that’s all i have to say for today. i’m sure i’ll be back with another letter soon.
love, y/n
✉︎ jake, we had our first hangout outside of school. it went amazing of course. i learned a lot of new things about you that unfortunately made my crush even worse. how is it that i am so blessed to know such a kind, smart and talented man? i can’t believe how lucky i am. even if we never end up together like i would want, being your friend is enough. sometimes i wonder if i’ll ever get over how i feel about you. i wish i would sooner. it hurts to talk to you and be so close to you but not touch you. being friends is amazing of course, but i so desperately want more. maybe you’ll feel the same way one day.
love, y/n
✉︎ jake, you were really sad today. after knowing you for so many months, i have never seen you cry up until a few hours ago. it was heartbreaking to say the least and i never want to see you upset. you told me that layla had run away. you hugged me for the first time, but i only felt sad. i never imagined our first hug would be like that and all i wanted to do was comfort you. i hope you find her soon, i know how much you love your best girl.
love, y/n
✉︎ jake, it’s been an eventful past five months. i haven’t written you a letter in a while because i’ve been distracted. i found layla on my walk home from work and you were more than happy. you ended up kissing me as a thank you, which changed our relationship for good. and ever since then, it’s as if you can’t leave me alone. i thought i would be the clingy one in a relationship…seems as if i was very wrong. dating you has been everything i’ve imagined and more. i honestly can’t believe that you chose me as someone to love, but i’m really glad that you did. being with you is like a breath of fresh air, as cheesy as that sounds. i feel free to be myself. even though i may laugh loudly, or have habits that may seem odd to others, you have never judged me. i’m so lucky to date a person as amazing and thoughtful and beautiful and compassionate as you. maybe one day i’ll show you these letters, but for now i can tell you how i feel in person!
love, y/n
✉︎ jake, happy birthday! i’m happy im able to spend another birthday with you. i know i tell you this often, but i love you a lot and you’re truly a blessing in my life. i love hearing you rant about your nerdy interests, even if i might not understand some of it i listen anyway because hearing you talk instantly makes my day better. i love how you’re so attentive and pay attention to even the smallest details about me. you never let anything i say go unheard, you really know how to make someone feel special. i hope to make you feel special today and show you just how much i love and appreciate you. i hope you enjoy the letters i’ve written you over the years, it’s one way to give you my heart :)
i love you so much, y/n
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jupiter-letters · 9 months ago
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Dating J'onn J'onnz would include:
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Fem!Reader or GN!Reader TW: None
A/N: For the sake of my sanity and J’onn’s happiness, Martians are alive and well and these headcanons are based more on the young justice show. The reader is already a member of the justice league in this but maybe I’ll do some civilian headcanons later.
You both started out as pretty good friends but you never thought he’d like you romantically due to cultural differences. For him what you looked like didn’t really matter, your personalities meshed so well he wanted you around all the time. 
Despite having an open and honest friendship you kind of tried to bury your feelings from J’onn when you guys would talk telepathically. He did pick up on this though and it bothered him for a while but he didn’t want to pry. 
There’s this lingering tension though, you both like each other but one doesn’t want to overstep and the other is afraid of rejection. Other people can pick up on it too but nobody wants to say anything. There’s this romantic undertone with how you guys talk to each other but again nobody says anything. The other members of the league watching you guys interact is basically like this:
J’onn: “Would you like some refreshments after your journey to the watchtower? I’ve prepared some coffee for you.”  You: Ah, no thank you I appreciate it! Are you ok? I heard your last fight in Metropolis was tough, I was worried about you.  J’onn: And I you, your battle with Grodd caused me some distress but it was well fought. I’m happy you are unharmed.”
Wonder woman, Superman and Shazam standing in the corner like ???🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️🧍???
Things really get shaken up when M’gann makes her debut, she picks up on it as soon as you enter the room thinking you wouldn’t mind(due to your friendship of course). She ends up reaching into that crevice you thought you’d hidden. J’onn is unaware of this for like a second before she just comes out and says it. “Uncle J’onn have you guys started dating yet??” After she says that he’s looking at her like 👁️👄👁️. 
You fall out of your chair and M’gann realizes she messed up. Lucky for her she made a swift exit out of the room. You try not to make eye contact but J’onn is looking directly at you. 
At this point you both couldn’t put it off anymore and talked it out. You tell him your insecurities and he does the same. His fears about the attraction not being mutual due to the whole alien thing. Fortunately for you guys none of that matters since you’re so sickeningly in love. Now we get to the nitty gritty! The dating!
J’onn does everything in his power to learn Earth customs, especially your own culture, the language, the food. He wants to learn about it all to be closer to you. If english isn’t your native language he does a little brain download of it and speaks it with you. He’ll even prepare your favorite dish despite many, many failed attempts. When you make the same effort to learn about Martian culture it really warms his heart. It’s a rocky road but you get the hang of it, his family loves having you over. They’ll shapeshift into you when you come over and give you one big hug. 
You have to awkwardly explain why you’re seeing a new guy every week before J’onn chooses a form he likes. He doesn’t understand why it’d be a problem but he stops for you. It doesn’t matter though since he takes it off when you get home or when you’re among friends. He loves to shapeshift for you to make you laugh, turning into celebrities or mascots to prank you. You wake up in the morning and open the bathroom door to see Chiitan taking a shower. He’ll even do stupid stuff like long furbys or the fresno nightcrawler. 
Fighting together is a breeze, nobody is crazy enough to go after you in the field. And psychic attacks forget it, you can’t beat a martian when it comes to telepathy. People often underestimate how strong J’onn actually is so they do enter the process of fucking around and finding out. He never doubts your ability to protect yourself either but if the need arises and you get overwhelmed he will step in. 
You understand J’onn’s feelings more than most, despite constantly being linked to each other’s mind. Like Bruce his body language is subtle, there are certain ways his lips twitch or how he rubs his fingers together. You both have a great understanding of each other’s emotions, it’s so wonderful. He never keeps things from you and is very blunt with his opinions. He feels like it’s insulting to you to use flowery language instead of being honest. 
He doesn’t mind PDA, however much you’re comfortable with he’ll do. However he won’t be hanging off of you in public, he will stay within arms reach. He always wants you to know he’s nearby and you’re safe. His love language largely revolves around words of affirmation. J’onn is a great person to vent to since he is a great listener and he’s lived a long life so he’s got some words of wisdom. You need advice? He’s your man.
You can literally feel how much he loves you, he’ll even show you how he sees you. All colorful and bright like the sun. He’d literally walk through fire for you, his loyalty is unmatched.🗣️🗣️ You always tell him he doesn’t need to but he’ll do it anyway. After the most difficult day of missions and handling Martian and Earth politics, a moment in your arms rejuvenates him. For someone who isn’t super touchy the other thing he loves to do is hold your head in his hands and press your foreheads together. No words are exchanged, you just quietly enjoy each other’s presence. 
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inhurtandincomfort · 2 months ago
Text
A Night to Regret
CW: Kidnapping, abusive relationship
Part 2 / masterlist
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“Hey babe,” Kieran answered his phone with a grin, “Yeah, I’m on my way back now. Guess what? I’ve got a job!” 
“Really? That’s amazing!” He pulled it back from his ear as Abigail squealed, “What is it?” 
“It’s a short film, an original horror I think. I don’t know all the details, Kate said she’d email them to me first thing Monday. It’s a student film, but they’ve done quite a few popular ones.” 
“You know what this means? Celebration! We should invite Mike and Lisa, I’ll see if Cameron’s free too, and Jaysen, though I think he’s busy…”
Kieran laughed softly, “Is that really necessary? I was thinking we could just have a quiet night in, just the two of us.”  
“We do that all the time! Come on, we haven’t had a get together in ages. It’ll be fun. We’ll order pizza, and if you pick up some drinks on your way home… ooh, make sure you get some of that beer I like.”  “Since when did this become about you?” 
“I’ll pay for everything!” 
He smiled even though she couldn’t see it. “I got it, don’t worry. You order some pizzas, I’ll be home soon. I love you.” 
“Love you!”
Kieran slid his phone into his pocket, making a u-turn to head towards their favoured liquor store. He shivered, hugging himself as he walked down the quiet street. Strange, to be so quiet on a Saturday evening; it was freezing, he reasoned. It wasn’t that late, but the sun set early this time of year and a starless sky made the frigid air seem bleak. Still, deserted streets always held an eerie feeling. Though they weren’t completely empty, he only saw an occasional passerby in thick coats, scarves weaved around their faces. Man, he should have brought a scarf; his lips were probably turning blue. 
A small, childish part of him wished he had stayed talking with Abigail. Past every alley, every covered stranger, a chill crept up his spine that had nothing to do with the weather. He considered calling her back. She was probably calling their friends though. You’re worrying over nothing, he scolded himself. He was a grown-ass man, he could handle walking down a street himself, the same route he’d taken many times before. Alone. In the dark. 
Abigail kept telling him he should ask his doctor about anxiety meds. Maybe she was right. 
He was relieved when he made it to the store, offering him a brief respite. There was only one other customer who seemed to be studying two bottles intently. Kieran made his purchase, making easy small talk with the grizzled cashier trying to ignore his stomach twisting in knots.
He rubbed his hands together in an attempt to get warm, an awkward motion carrying bags of glass bottles. He hummed to himself as he walked, a cheesy romance he hoped would stave off anxious thoughts. He glanced behind. A couple of men were trailing at a steady pace, scarves concealing their faces. He turned back to face forward, his pace quickening just slightly. People are allowed to walk behind you, Kieran. He told himself firmly. Learning to face your fears is an important part of recovery. Don’t let anxiety control you. 
…But he’d also been taught to follow his instincts. What was he supposed to do when every gut feeling told him to run? 
He considered stopping to let them pass. Would that just make him seem suspicious? It would probably be weird. Home wasn’t far, he’d be there soon. A black car with tinted windows was parked up ahead. Had it ever been there before? He shook his head. Paranoid. He’s just paranoid. Lukas had always said so. It was hardly an unusual car, it’s no surprise he’d never noticed it. And people were allowed to visit.
Still, as he got closer his shoulders hunched, blood rushing in his ears. His stomach cramped, tightening painfully as every signal in his body rang wrong, wrong, wrong. Something was wrong. He halted in his tracks, willing himself to move, his body frozen as his mind raced, every alarm bell screaming go back, go back, danger danger dangerdanger-
A heavy weight slung around his shoulders drawing him in. He opened his mouth to yell, a gloved hand silencing him. Something hard pressed into his back, small and rounded and fuck, this wasn’t happening, this couldn’t be happening-
“Don’t make a sound,” A gruff voice whispered, a voice that didn’t sound natural. They were trying to disguise it. “Come with us quietly, and there won’t be any problems.” 
Kieran nodded numbly, his heart hammering against his chest. With a small nudge from whoever stood behind, with a gun did they have a gun please say that’s not a gun he was bundled into the black car where someone was already waiting to drive away. Two men sat either side of him, blocking every exit.
“Head down,” One commanded, shoving his head to his knees before he even had a chance to do so himself. His shopping bag was placed by their feet. They’d probably take the drinks for themselves. They took his phone too, along with his wallet leaving him with no form of identification. 
“Who are you?” Kieran dared to ask, his voice trembling. “Where are we going?”
“Shut up.” 
They were going to kill him. Oh god, he was going to be murdered, his body thrown in a woods somewhere or a lake or burned and oh god. Would they ever find him? Would his mother get to bury him? What about Abi, would she blame herself? How long would it take her to grow concerned? Was she already pacing around anxiously, wringing her hands, waiting for him to come home?
When they were out of city limits, they pushed him to the floor, wrapping cloth around his eyes, binding his wrists and ankles with duct tape which they also placed over his mouth. They must have driven for miles. He was transferred to another vehicle at some point, open conversations taking place in a language he couldn’t understand. Occasionally they’d rip the tape off to pour water down his throat. He fell asleep at one point, he thought. It was all a haze, fuzzy memories leaving him unable to distinguish what’s real and what is fake. 
Next thing he knew he was being roughly dragged outside, mud staining his clothes as  he was thrown to the floor. 
“Good to see you again, Angel.” 
Kieran stilled, every hair on his neck stood on end, his heart leapt to his throat. He thought it might just stop. 
“What? Cat got your tongue?” Lukas jeered, his honeyed voice washed over Kieran like acid. The blindfold was yanked off his face, letting him look up to a man he wished he’d forgotten. 
Calloused fingers cupped his cheek tenderly, bronze eyes filled with such gentle warmth met his own. He used to melt under that same gaze, putty in his hands. He would have done anything to please him, debased himself in so many ways just to see those soft eyes look at him once more. 
Now they just filled him with fear. 
“It’s been so long, hasn’t it Angel? Were you afraid you wouldn't see me again? I was beside myself. I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing your face, haunting me like an enthralling ghost. I didn’t know what to do, I was so lost without you.” Lukas grabbed Kierans face in both hands, leaning in so close their noses almost touched, staring deep into his eyes in a way that made his skin crawl. This couldn’t be happening. This had to be some horrible nightmare, he was gone, he got out, he fled across half the country just to be safe and it wasn’t enough. He wanted to scream, wanted to yell, wanted to kick and scratch and do anything that would get him out of here, anything to never be trapped with this monster again. 
But his limbs were bound, his mouth stuffed full of cloth. Even if they weren’t, he wasn’t sure he was capable of it. He’d never fought back then. He hadn’t changed at all, not really. He was still the same meek figure he’d been back then. 
“You should never have left me Angel,” Lukas breathed, his breath hot on his face. “You’ll never leave me again.”
If you enjoyed please consider reblogging, it really helps the reach and lets others enjoy it too!
Being kidnapped by your abusive ex is bad enough - even worse is Lukas needs to make money. How will he do that? Hurting his Angel on camera, of course <3
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