#I’ve literally never had an avocado in my life

[553everly]

a success story ++ how i did it.

what did i get ?

so recently i manifested a new house + a superior job to mom ++ large amounts of money coming toward all of us. THOSE WERE UNDER A WEEK.

i also started building my dream wardrobe slowly with amazing clothing items. bought bags, my desired skincare products + desired makeup items too.

Eating sushi and dumplings for the first time !! DUMPLINGS WERE FIRE !! sushi was good, and i ate avocado for the first time?? i discovered I'm not into it in any way and removed it along w sushi from my life board at Pinterest (I was planning to be eating am sushi in my life along w avocado in my salads or wtv)

basically everything is going perfectly my way lately and everything feels very amazing.

what i actually did ?

A PINTEREST BOARD trust me, it's like a vision board and your mind needs a guide to know where it's going. make a Pinterest board with everything you want, and take a look at it affirming "my life is exactly like what I'm looking at rn" or wtv affs you like, you can use a sub too. Just add wtv you desire type of beauty, desired body, your lifestyle, fashion, grades, room, house, car, items, food. Literally everything ! I literally ate the same sushi that was in my board + bought same skincare and makeup products. It's so powerful. ( You can use a sub along w it.)

I had a mindset playlist. it included everything i ever thought i needed. yk like master manifestor / manifest for others ect.

it can be at any length tbh, depends on the how much time you have at morning! you can listen to the 10 mins the only sub you'll ever need by iwantitigetit or her recent one or v1per's whatever. You can ask for my recommendations too !

anyways once the playlist is ready (can even include one sub) you go prepare your daily affirmations. just a collection of affirmations that you'll repeat ×3 times.

For me - i had two parts of affirmations. Ones with self concept + self esteem + self love + self confidence affirmations.

the other with the i am a master manifestor, everything works out in my favour, i am living my dream life +++ specific affirmations with a feeling (creds to the owner) like I feel so safe and secure now that I have moved into my desired house.... something like that, the feeling can be gratitude.

AND THAT'S IT. Literally.

ill share the affirmations i used to say (creds to the owner since I stole them from random affs posts i saw in here + ig)

the affirmations.

SELF CONCEPT : My manifesting journey has always been easy fun and beautiful.

I’ve always been a master at manifesting. I’ve already manifested everything I wanted. I accept my power to create the life of my dreams I’m beyond powerful and in control nothing can deny my desires. I live in a state of bliss pleasure stable calmness peace and wealth. I’m divinely blessed in life. my life keep changing for the better. I’m a magnet for miracles blessings and abundance. Good things keep happening to me. My life has always been perfect I am always in a good mood and state of life. everything is perfect and I worry about nothing. I’m completely healed inside and out. I have a perfect mental health. I’ve never been healthier and happier. I am enough worthy and safe. I am the girl who has it all. I am worthy of everything I want. I am worthy of everything I have. I am stable and secure. I’m always safe and protected. I’m a master at manifesting. I can have anything I want. my life is beyond perfection. I manifest what I want effortlessly. I’ve always been rich. I can afford anything I want.

AFFIRMATIONS :

I literally have all my desires in a blink of an eye. I always get what I want no matter what. It’s insane how many blessings and abundance rains down on me. I'm so blessed. I’m the chosen one, the luckiest person on earth. My life is always on the right path to true success happiness abundance and love. Everyone aspires to be me and do all the things I do. I live a life of extreme luxury and wealth. Everything I touch turns to gold.I can afford anything I want. I get pampered and spoiled every single day. Im the type of cool you can’t buy or fake. I’m ambitious driven and disciplined. Nothing can stop me.

I’m the most successful and wealthy person to ever exist. Every time I breathe I’m sent a miracle blessing and money. I have men and women all over me. I’m pursued by the hottest richest and nicest people. People always respect me. People would move mountains for me. i’m always the first choice and top priority. I’m so beyond spoiled and rich it’s insane how much I have. everyone wants to spoil me that’s why I receive the VIP treatment 24/7. I deserve the absolute best and most lavish in life and I’m getting it. My self concept and self esteem is sky high. Nothing can break my confidence. I’m one of a kind and everyone knows it.

CHALLENGE AFFIRMATIONS : i am living my dream life. I have my ideal face, I have my ideal body, I live in mom's ideal house and have my ideal room, mom has her ideal job and i study my ideal major in my ideal country and city, every wish of mine is granted. i manifest effortlessly. everything always goes my way. i deserve the best and i never settle for less. i only get princess treatment. my friend group loves and supports me. my mom and siblings are loving and supportive. i am full of love for myself. i am never ashamed to put myself first. i am at peace with myself and others. I am unbothered. I do my own thing proudly. I am so incredibly happy and grateful that I get to live such an amazing life. I get richer day by day. everytime i blink i earn money. getting money is so easy for me. i can afford everything I want. my money is always wisely spent. being rich is my destiny. i am basically an extremely powerful money magnet. i have always been rich. I always have more than enough money. I am literally a billionaire. I am worthy of being rich.

the end <3

IT IS LONG I KNOW my sub playlist was like + an hour long. i just have so many free time at morning so. you can do yours at night, whenever you're free. GOOD LUCK !!

[biological-catastrophe]

Hello! I need to complain because America is a fucking joke. Vent under the cut as well as TW/CW list

TW/CW: School shooting, (preventable) death, cancer, abortion, homophobia/transphobia

This country is a goddamn joke. I could go on and on about how bad it is and I really need to because it’s grinding my gears.

They’re passing a law that makes it ILLEGAL TO BOYCOTT COMPANIES SUPPORTING ISRAEL. They don’t give a fuck about our constitution. In one breath they’re saying this and another saying the fact we can’t afford a place to live is because we keep spending money on Starbucks and avocado toast. And how the fuck are you going to enforce this?? You gonna hold a gun to my head and make me buy McDonalds or Starbucks?? What the fuck?? We already can’t afford to live here.

I’m lucky my parents are still letting me live with them because I could never afford a place to live. I’m pretty sure I did my math right but: minimum wage is $7.25 USD an hour. The average apartment is $2,000 a month. To afford JUST THAT, someone would have to work near 70 hours a week. Not including food, insurance, medicine, gas, anything besides rent. And with the pay I got at my last job ($10 an hour), I’d have to work 50 hours a week for rent. “Oh those jobs are only meant for like high schoolers” so you only want these fast food places to be open from 5-10 pm? You don’t want them to be open during school hours then? Hypocrites.

And SPEAKING OF SCHOOLS, the school shootings are not a joke. I think I talked about it already but there was an active shooter on my college campus while we were outside. We have lockdown drills so many times, it’s ingrained in us what to do since kindergarten what to do. I met a girl who got shot like 7 times and survived. I’ve grown up always having an escape route out of the school. Nobody cares. Nobody cares that a literal toddler was able to get ahold of a gun and SHOOT HIS TEACHER, and the teacher warned about the kid making threats before and the school didn’t do anything. Nobody cares that someone a girl rejected could bring a gun to school and shoot her and many others. It’s hypocritical that they ban abortion and then don’t care for the kid as soon as they’re born.

And god, the abortion ban. I live in Texas as I’ve said. Here, the law is called the heartbeat bill. Abortion is allowed until the fetus has a heartbeat. But by the time people have that, they generally don’t even know they’re pregnant. It’s basically a total abortion ban. And they’re so fucking sneaky with it. You can SUE people and doctors who have abortions. A man sued three women of a million dollars EACH, including is then-wife. And I also heard rumors of them trying to ban state travel for abortions as well which is also unconstitutional.

And do we even want to talk about health care??? I saw a video the other day of a girl and her best friend who both have cancer and can’t afford it. They can’t afford LIFE SAVING TREATMENT. Are you fucking joking?? People can’t afford insulin and are dying from it. People can’t afford life saving shit and die. What the fuck kind of dystopia is that?? I had to go get an MRI and it was THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS???? What the fuck???

And do we even want to get started on the homophobia/transphobia?? The ‘don’t say gay’ bill in Florida and the numerous drag ban bills. Texas is doing the thing similar to the heartbeat bill where you can sue a ‘person who is not conforming to their assigned gender at birth’ or something like that. Femboys and masculine women could get sued. What the fuck? It’s so expensive and hard to get HRT and surgeries for people. They are trying to raise the voting age so people can’t vote against it. They started with kids and now want to include adults into their 20s. I’m sick of it. I’m just sick of all of this.

And I can’t complain about all of this and not talk about the 2021 Texas Freeze. Basically what happened, February of 2021 we had a horrible freeze, at nights it got into the negatives (for reference, ‘cold’ here for me is in the 40s. This is all Fahrenheit. 40°F = 4°C; -3°F = -19°C). Our power plants weren’t ready for this. We lost power during a lot of this. Some people didn’t have power for WEEKS, people died from the cold because the power plant people were greedy and lazy and didn’t put in proper weather safeties. This could have been prevented. Pipes burst, people died and got ill, the state was in a panic for weeks. We had power about half the time, but god was it cold.

I hate this country. I hate it so fucking much. This country is a fucking dystopia, some sick work of apocalypse fiction. I want to leave so fucking bad. I can’t wait till this place crashes and burns.

[berryslimchance]

Days 1-9

Imagine that, me with a late start. ANYWAY. Where to begin? I guess just stating what I’ve been up to and my goals. I made the choice to take control of my life and make a real change this year. I have a purpose and the motivators to get me where I need to be and I’m determined to lose this weight and become a healthier me before I’m 35. I’ve struggled with my weight and relationship with food a really long time. A couple of years ago I lost about 50 pounds, but life happened and depression beat my ass up a little bit so I teetered. This battle with BED (binge eating disorder) is a rough one and it seems never-ending, but we out here. I’ve been focusing on a bullet journal format to keep track of my goals for the year, but I also wanted to incorporate some type of daily reflection to help keep myself accountable and busy (so, Hi!). 

For the month of January, I am solely keeping myself accountable for my calorie deficit. My current cut is a big one, mainly because I’m not exercising yet and I work 40 hrs. a week at a sedentary job. I was trying for 1650 calories a day for the first week and was having trouble meeting that and needed to add in more protein so I upped it to 1700 calories. Baby steps seem to bring me the best results so I start out small. I’m also trying to get back into the swing of meal prepping, so there’s a lot going on in my head right now as I create recipes and try to balance all my calories for the day.

During week one, I had a meal prep that consisted of 2 rotating meals for M-F and daily snacks since I don’t really like to eat breakfast. Snacks were yogurts, fruit, cottage cheese, and nuts. 

Week One: Meal One

2 Trader Joe’s Sweet Apple Chicken Sausages

100g Green Beans

5 oz. Sweet Potato

Week One: Meal Two

4 oz. Trader Joe’s Carne Asada

1 cup Jasmine Rice

92g Roasted Broccoli Florets

As you can see, for the most part I’m trying to stick to a whole diet. I want to try and reduce the amount of processed foods I’m eating and the amount I’m dining out because it’s really gotten out of hand. As long as I meal prep, it seems easy though and I really like that. I created a “picking” grocery list to assist in grocery shopping and meal planning for the week. I’m trying to spend an average of $100/week on my grocery trips to help save money. 

This week I took a little more time to look back on my mistakes from week one. I added more protein to my diet. Although, week one was a success. I lost 10.4 pounds as of January 7th. WOOOHOOO!!!

Week Two: Meal One

Perdue Grilled Italian Chicken

Bird’s Eye Roasted Potatoes with Garlic Butter

1 cup Green Beans

Week Two: Meal Two

3 oz. Lean Taco Meat

1/2 cup Jasmine Rice

1/4 cup Black Beans

1/4 cup Corn

50g Avocado

1 T. Salsa

2 T. Sour Cream

I purchased some Ghost Whey Protein....and OH. MY. GOD. The “Fruity Cereal Milk” flavor is the bomb.com, literally like drinking the milk after a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. This week I’m trying to have my daily intake be something like this:

Breakfast: Protein Shake with Fairlife 2% Milk +/- Coffee

AM Snack: 2 Hardboiled Eggs with Mustard and Pickle

Lunch: Meal Prep 1 or 2 +/- Fruit

PM Snack: Yogurt with Almonds

Dinner: Meal Prep 1 or 2 

Late Snack: Cottage Cheese with Strawberries

This time I just gotta stick with it. I’m gonna show up every day and hold myself accountable. I’m going to take baby steps and forgive myself for bumps along the way. This is a lifestyle change, not a diet. Until tomorrow!

xo

[australiablog]

22/7

Today I’m meeting with Sienna at 9am at flinders street, I was too tired last night to have a shower so I did that this morning. That shower was devine, I wish I could somehow take it with me. Breakfast was included with whatever Sienna is planning today so when I left at a little after 8 I found out that the tram ride yesterday was actually much closer as I thought it was. So I was way too early. Meeting Sienna was so fun, we have been talking in the Dean Lewis group chat since 2019 so meeting her was surreal. She took me to an alleyway that’s especially for graffiti art. It was so fun to see, basically everywhere I’ve been so far they all have art on the side of their buildings, it’s so much nicer as just blank walls. We had breakfast in a very cute tiny road/alleyway that only had cafes with tables in between them. I have never had so many avocados in my life. They are in everything over here and Sienna was surprised to hear they cost quite a lot at home. I talked about the play last night and she had actually never realised all theatre is with an American accent, she didn’t knew why either. I am so curious about it though. We wandered around Melbourne and went to art gallery first, most of it is free and it still blows my mind. The state library was so amazing to see as well, it’s one of the older buildings and it was really pretty. We went up all the way to the top where you could watch over the entire ground floor. They have different “rooms” surrounding the main one that’s all dedicated to something else. They even had a child daycare room. There also was the entire building build out of LEGO and we jokingly send a pigeon picture to Bea (she’s scared of real birds but plastic ones are fine)

The next stop was and arcade hall, they have tons of them here, and in my head it would be like game arcades, it definitely wasn’t that. It was little buildings that had all kind of shops in them and had aircon, which makes sense with how warm it gets here. Today is a brilliant day with sun and 17 degrees and I had long since shed my coat and even though Sienna still found it cold she was very happy that we had such a good day as well. I was saying that I was surprised about the amount of sushi places I’d seen already so we ended up eating sushi. There was a surprise tour after lunch, it was the royal exhibition building. It’s one of the oldest buildings in Melbourne that was build on a hill overlooking the city. I hadn’t really realised it was a hill until we were standing in the rooftop overlooking the city. It was really cool! It was build in the late 1800s and it’s still being used to this day. They have university exams, comic con and all kind of events there still. It was even the covid vaccination centre during the pandemic. Our next stop was sea life, which I was really excited about since I had actually planned to go there with Andrew but due to time restrictions we didn’t. We had to get back to the other side of town and were running a wee bit late so ended up getting an Uber. Sea life had 15 spaces dedicated to different animals and areas. They also had ton of photo opportunities and we had great fun doing them all. The beginning were all jellyfish and all kinds of fish, we were going down and ended up underneath a gigantic aquarium. There were really big turtles, sharks and all kind of other fish I don’t even remember the name off. There was a big circular room where the ocean waves were projected on the floor. The big turtle swam by and we lost it for a second, it swam to the other side and both of us squealed and ran after it like we were 5. We stood there laughing like idiots. The rainforest was next and there was a big glass floor and we stood there staring for a bit, neither of us seeing what was actually in it. When we did see it, it was something out of Jurassic park. There was a MASSIVE crocodile in there, and by massive I mean this literally. That thing was at least 5m if not more. It was by far the biggest crocodile I’ve ever seen. When we were nearly done they announced that all visitors should make their way to the exit, we were sad we didn’t get to see the pinguïns and were pleasantly surprised when they were the last thing. They are so cute, yes yes I know also cunts but cute to look at. We had dinner reservations at 6:30pm so we went to have a look at the casino. Sienna had to show her ID everytime and I was really amused by it. She found the bar so pretty that I dragged her to have a drink there since we had plenty of time.

[bxrcodebxtch]

i’ve always really wanted to like avocados but i never have bc the texture has always been bad and it just made me anxious as fuck but i tried guacamole at a work lunch a new weeks ago and i liked it so i bought avocados and then today for breakfast had toast with eggs and spinach and added half an avocado and i liked it so much and i’m so excited about it i literally have texted everyone in my life abt it i don’t know a lot but i do know that avocados are SO good and i think i could eat them on everything

[yundk]

Something that I’ve been looking forward to literally all year, ever since I came to Honduras, was to bring my mom and show her the world that she has gifted me to see. Except for her, it wasn’t exactly something she hasn’t seen before. The very first thing she noticed, other than the sweltering heat and humidity, was how similar present-day Honduras was to the Korea she had grown up in. The verdant pasture crescending into lofty mountains. Timeworn rickety vans and buses vying to pick up and pack in as much riders as the space allows. Those same vans swerving traffic and driving recklessly (relative to the customs of the US) on the paved roads and with even less caution to the wind on the dirt roads that are interspersed around the main highways. Roadside stands with bright fruits and vegetables heaped in piles, a mountain of recently harvested pineapples, or avocados or licha or whatever is in season, laying by the street hawker as they holler to everyone in the vicinity to come and purchase a bag of their garden-fresh produce. Or clothes or toothpastes or random gadgets, if that is what they’re selling. These street stalls and peddlers bring life to the city, intensifying the energy and heat of the already scorching day and as I show my mom around the city that has been my home for the past year, she leads me into a bank and luxuriates in the cool air of the air-conditioned room. This is what we used to do in Korea when it got too hot, she tells me. When we get home, she sits by the fan, two of them blasting full-power in her direction, and that’s pretty much where she stays if we’re not eating or traveling. I can’t have her in the house all day – I have to show her what Honduras is, who its people are, what beauty lies among the green fields and in the hearts of the catrachos that have wholeheartedly accepted me into their home. The next morning, we head out to Copan.

My parents are fascinated with indigenous culture, and my mom’s zealous interest in the ancient remains of the Mayan civilization of Copan Ruinas clearly showed. She had dozens of questions, all of which fell on me to translate with the unarranged guides who kindly volunteered their time to accompany us as we wandered the museum and hiked the ruins. For most of the day, we were the only visitors, and they must have welcomed the company. My mom listened keenly to the responses and stories of the Mayan past, chronicling them down carefully in her mind to later share with my dad and look for connections between the indigenous populations of America and the ancestry of Korea. After a fantastically thorough tour, we got another taste of Honduran hospitality – with no buses in sight and no sign of one coming soon, we hitchhiked our way back to our hostel. Many others would also show us this kindness as we journey through Honduras.

I spent half a day convincing my mom to go on this tour of a coffee and cacao plantation. I thought it would be perfect for her, because if there’s one thing she never forsakes, it’s nourishing our bodies with ingredients found in mother nature in its most unprocessed, organic state. The only problem with the tour was that it includes a two-hour trek on horseback through the rolling, lush hills of the Honduran and Guatemalan countryside. My mom had never ridden a horse in her life, and she was terribly scared of the prospect. After very nearly making a reservation but canceling at the last second, and later returning again to say that we’ve decided to actually go through with it, we trekked through the fertile soil of the massive farmland, cracking and chomping down on cacao seeds and snacking on fruit freshly picked from the trees. And of course, we traversed the unbelievably picturesque grassy highlands on horseback. Pure natural beauty, green as far as the eyes can see. Only a picture can come close to doing it justice. If that eye candy was not enough, we ended our day in a magical hot spring nestled in the mountains, the source of water flowing from a steaming waterfall that is too hot to touch. Everything is just magical, the warm water cloaking my body in the middle of a cloud forest, the views from the hours and days before imprinted in my mind and my camera, unwinding from a challenging year of teaching in such a breathtaking setting, my mom being here to experience it all alongside me.

[rubylane]

*   𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐔𝐕𝐀  𝐁𝐎𝐒𝐒  .     sentence starters from helluva boss.  adjust as needed.  features nsfw topics: swearing, sex, violence, just extremely vulgar language, etc.  some potentially triggering subjects.

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐭 .

❛   i  thought  i  knew  you .  ❜ ❛   it  didn't  do  anything !  ❜ ❛   holy  shit ,  it  actually  worked .  ❜ ❛   i'd  like  to  go  on  record  and  say  that  incident  was  [name]’s  fault .  ❜ ❛   oh ,  sit  on  a  dick .  ❜ ❛   whoever  left  the  fucking  avocado  salad  in  the  fridge ,  i'm  taking  it ,  because  i  have  the  worst  hangover  right  now !  ❜ ❛   why  would  you  drink  on  a  work  night ?  ❜ ❛   oh ,  i  do  judge  you .  quite  a  lot ,  actually .  ❜ ❛   does  immaturely  insulting  me  make  you  feel  better  about  your  sad  life ?  ❜ ❛   alright ,  let's  go  back  to  talking  about  my  outfit .  ❜ ❛   if  i  wanted  to  hear  from  a  spineless  jackass ,  i'd  rip  out  your  spine  and  ask  you  some  shit .  ❜ ❛   he's  kind  of  a  piece  of  shit .  ❜ ❛   well ,  christ  on  a  stick .  i  guess  there  is  a  god .  ❜

𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 .

❛   i  was  a  good  person ,  before  it  all  went  down .  ❜ ❛   think  before  you  act .  ❜ ❛   i  had  a  hard  time  understanding  the  unprompted  melodrama  you  just  spat  at  me .  ❜ ❛   humans  are  full  of  secret  nasties .  ❜ ❛   guilty  and  innocent  aren’t  our  business .  ❜ ❛   this  is  a  really  bad  time .  ❜ ❛   i  was  thinking ,  what  if  we  worked  out  some  kind  of  exchange ?  favors  for  favors ?  ❜ ❛   you’ve  got  to  stop  using  your  fancy  ass  rich-people  talk ,  okay ?  ❜ ❛   that’s  not  exactly  how  it  works .  ❜ ❛   i  mean ,  i  could  fake  it  if  that’ll  get  your  dick  hard .  ❜ ❛   i’ll  just  shoot  you  in  your  smart-ass  mouth !  ❜ ❛   it  won’t  happen  again .  i  promise .  ❜ ❛   i  think  i  just  needed  a  minute  to  process .  ❜ ❛   killing  people  isn’t  that  big  of  a  deal  if  they  try  to  kill  you  back !  ❜ ❛   that’s  messed  up .  ❜

𝐥𝐨𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 .

❛   was  that  a  serious  question ?  ❜ ❛   we  are  rich ,  and  we're  hot .  ❜     ( alt.     ❛   i  am  rich ,  and  i’m  hot .  ❜ ) ❛   don't  invite  me  to  shit  unless  someone's  gonna  die .  ❜ ❛   you  are  so  cute  when  you  are  serious !  ❜ ❛   i'm  literally  gonna  be  sick .  ❜ ❛   that  is...  deeply  upsetting .  ❜ ❛   theme  parks  always  disturbed  me .  ❜ ❛   this  place  reeks  of  insecure  corporate  shame .  ❜ ❛   save  it .  i'm  working .  ❜ ❛   i  hate  that  fucking  clown .  ❜ ❛   y'know ,  if  you  suck ,  you  suck !  ❜ ❛   i  just  want  to  go  home ,  but  home  doesn't  even  feel  like  home  anymore .  ❜ ❛   you're  okay  sometimes .  ❜ ❛   way  to  ruin  another  good  thing .  ❜

𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 .

❛   i  should  have  known  you’d  be  here .  ❜ ❛   awww ,  you  mad ,  [name] ?  ❜ ❛   choke  on  a  sandpaper  cock .  ❜ ❛   why  are  you  acting  like  that’s  such  a  shock ?  ❜ ❛   you  are  making  this  into  a  way  bigger  deal  than  it  needs  to  be .  ❜   ❛   i  don’t  pry  into  your  stupid  personal  life .  ❜ ❛   i  challenge  you  to  a  fuckin'...  challenge !  fuck ,  i  said  that  twice .  ❜ ❛   oh ,  you're  serious ?  ❜ ❛   what  was  that  nonsense ?  ❜ ❛   it’s  not  my  fault  you  got  a  smooth  little  brain  upstairs .  ❜ ❛   you  look  downright  awful .  ❜ ❛   y'all  ready  to  get  fucked  up  and  make  some  bitchin'  bad  choices ?!  ❜ ❛   am  i  interrupting  something ?  ❜ ❛   why  don’t  you  chill  out ?  ❜ ❛   why  can’t  you  stay  out  of  my  face  for ,  like ,  five  minutes ?!  ❜ ❛   i’m  gonna  go  kill  something .  ❜ ❛   ooookay ,  this  is  too  wholesome  for  my  liking .  ❜ ❛   i  wish  i  had  friends .  i  don’t  have  friends .  ❜

𝐜.𝐡.𝐞.𝐫.𝐮.𝐛. 

❛   do  not  be  afraid .  ❜ ❛   please  tell  me  you  got  that  insurance  thing .  ❜ ❛   could’ve  just  used  the  door ,  dude .  doesn’t  need  to  be  this  whole  thing .  ❜ ❛   that’s  kinda  hot .  ❜ ❛   let’s  kill  this  rich  guy !  ❜ ❛   why  won’t  you  let  me  die ?  ❜ ❛   i’ve  never  been  in  love  before .  i  imagine  it’s  quite  nice .  ❜ ❛   you’re  making  things  too  real  now .  ❜ ❛   i  already  sent  him  a  text ,  and...  we’re  in  good  hands ,  'cause  texts  don’t  make  people  angry .  ❜ ❛   if  you  kiss  my  ass  any  harder ,  you’ll  go  right  inside  me .  ❜ ❛   get  out .  ❜

[aheathen-conceivably]

Get to know me tag

I was tagged by the always marvelous and vibey @seyvia 😊

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 9 people you want to get to know better.

Favorite Color: currently green 🌳🌱🍃 But rather specifically: dark emerald green and 1970s avocado green. The first is my wedding color and the second is the color of my kitchen. I also just got my grandma’s full vintage Corelle crazy daisy set as a wedding present. It’s that marvelous avocado green color and I’m obsessed with it 😭

Sweet, Spicy, or Savory: savory all the way!! I had leftover cake, cheese, and pasta from my shower and I literally never touched the cake but I ate all the cheese 🙈

Craving: Hmmm not much actually. I’ve been wanting an egg white cocktail for a while, specifically a pink lady in a coup glass. Super specific and not even a food but it’s what I’ve been after for weeks.

Tea or coffee: Coffee forever and always.

Last song you listened to: I’m back on a Lana Del Rey kick, so I listened to all of Honeymoon last night while editing pics.

Last series you watched: So I’m nearing the end of my current drama/sitcom pairing which is Downton Abbey and Modern Family. I only have three episodes left of Downton and I keep putting them off because I’m not ready for it to end 😭

Currently reading: I’m rereading Empire of Sin by Gary Krist. It’s one of those few history books that’s as engaging as any nonfiction (I mean the source material is pretty wild so that helps). If anyone is at all interested I highly recommend it!!

Working on: Whew. I am in a race against my own life to finish the 1910s of the Darlington legacy before I leave for my honeymoon. I really want to get a spooky build out and a follower gift but the story posts are 100% taking all my time 😓

I tag each and every one of my lovely mutuals who wanna do this! Please tag me if you do so I can get to know you more 🤗

[twilightpoison]

It’s been brought up to me that a lot of my content is Isekai based. However I didn’t want this to be a Ieskai HC post. Instead let me tell you all about a stupid thing I came up with as a kid that I’ve been meaning to make into a fic for so long.:

What if the characters you play actually can feel your presence and/or can hear your commentary when playing?

Fair warning I never play Hyrule Warriors and Twilight Princess so let me know if I got things wrong.

Head canons under cut!

General head canons (These are all platonic headcanons btw.):

- Let’s say that the simple reason that you are here was to help the chain. Think of it like you’re the groups companion on this journey. Who better then someone that knows about each hyrule?

- The people who dealt with a lot of magic recognize you at first. The others need a bit of a push to connect the dots but everyone gets there.

- The connection wasn’t as strong at times during their original adventures, so its not like they could always hear you or sense you.

Time:

- You saw him and it was clear he has another sibling now.

- Time knew you where telling the true, that you followed both of his adventures however he wasn’t going to be fully open to you.

- Guess who isn’t scared of Time? You.

- Literally at one point you’ve pointed at Time and with a straight face says “thats a child”.

- This is also how the chain found out that Time actually fought the moon technically.

- “You fought Majora on the moon while it was falling. That’s not the same thing.”

- You meet Malon and it was an awkward first meeting since how do you explain this in the first place.

- Yet the two of you got along amazingly.

- When you and time are alone you instantly ask Time if he knew how she got the cow in his house. He kinda just… stares at you? Like you just met his wife and thats what your asking about?!

- The answer was that he wasn’t sure how she did that but the cow isn’t in his old house anymore. Since different timelines and all.

- It’s honestly weird for him to have someone remember both of his adventures in confidence.

- All be a little awkward hearing someone go, “oh yeah! Time had to do something similar.”

- Early on Time did go over boundaries since he really doesn’t like to talk about his adventures to much.

- So instead you both agree to be as cryptic as possible or at least there is an attempt on your part. Since your the only other person that can confirm or deny his claims.

- And no. You also don’t know his true age. But your guess is the closest.

Twilight:

- Since he is one of the Link’s that is drenched in magic, he recognizes your aura instantly.

- Chaotic sibling energy.

- If he is giving Wild or any of the other Link’s a hard time you are by his side calling Twilight out. Unless if the person in question did something truly idiotic then you let him go off.

- Speaking of, you call this man out as much as you possibly can. Like hell if you’re going to let the others think he isn’t a gremlin.

- He did try to stop you by covering your mouth but you licked his hand. So…. guess what he isn’t trying again unless it’s necessary.

- Somethings are kept a secret though. Since he did live through it and even if it was stupid he still could of gotten really hurt.

- You both play good cop, bad cop to the younger Links all the time.

- Twi is surprisingly very open with you about his adventure, to finally talk to someone about it with out having it sound crazy is nice.

- He also has some questions about you and your life. Since before this adventure started you just disappeared.

- The two of you honestly get along like two best friends who haven’t seen each other in years but still can banter like its the good old days.

- Knowing only small amounts about what they all been through it’s nice to know that you’re looking after the others as well.

- That feeling makes him really push himself to protect the family he has here and luckily you are here can smack him upside the head before lecturing him.

Warriors:

- heeeeey… you know what happen the last time he met someone that was suppose to be watching over the hero’s spirit?

- Yeah, so….War’s isn’t so keen on trusting you like some of these Heroes.

- You seem nice and not obsessively crazy. If anything what makes him decide to give you a chance. It’s seeing you get along with the other Heroes post battle or around the campfire when you think no one is watching.

- The moment that he recognizes you. You were cursing out some monsters and calling Dink every name under the sun. Which he actually remembers hearing your panicked voice briefly when fighting Cia.

- Anyway, you guys are a sass duo and even a trio when you get Leg involved.

- You steal his scarf sometimes with Time and Wind’s help

- He finds you and Wind wrapped inside of it leaning on time and his heart just- clenches, he has more siblings now!

- Then Warriors realizes he has another sibling… another sibling that will prank him…

- You two can be found discussing tactical strategies. Mostly him teaching you though since depending on the person not many people will know how to lead an army. Yet he is a good teacher and you catch on pretty quickly.

- Same with Twi, Warrior’s needs someone to pull him back sometimes it seems. Who better then to remind him then the person that already saw his lowest moment when his ego got the better of him?

- Seriously speaking. He wouldn’t come to you to talk. If anything he will try to avoid you if he wasn’t his best. In his head he has a reputation to uphold. Which will lead to a heart to heart. No sass. No banter. Just you and him sitting down to remind him that he is human.

- He needs a hug. Please give him a hug.

Sky:

- Sky actually didn’t recognize you at first!

- Yes he felt your presence and hear your voice in his adventure, but that was a while ago at this point. Also he isn’t as connected to magic as the others are.

- He does slowly befriend you despite everything.

- It wasn’t until you referred to a certain demon lord as a ‘B*tch A** Clown’ and a flood gate of memories open up for him. Memories of you cursing out Ghirahim, calling the imprisoned an ‘avocado with feet’ and so on.

- Nothing really changes between you two honestly, he just accepts it.

- If anything he becomes more open to you about everything, setting clear boundaries on what he doesn’t want to bring up. He will tell everyone about the curse eventually, but just hasn’t found a good opportunity too. Things like that.

- You do have to argue with Sky that the curse wasn’t his fault since you were also there when it was put on him, also the fact that he didn’t asked to be cursed in the first place.

- Most of the time you two are together its to get away from the chaos that the group of nine heroes could bring.

- Walking or sitting in silence is how you two end up most of the time together. It may not look like you two are bonding. There are some days while Sky is wood carving you would work on your small hobby as well. Then there are days he plays the harp and your reading.

- Despite it all he really enjoys the peace you bring. There is a sense of comfort that you have.

- When you and Sun finally meet. The first thing you ask him is to be invited to the wedding and it may or may not been in front of her too…

Wild:

- The recognition was really slow for him like Sky. Since Wild just got off of his first adventure he didn’t actually notice you were gone.

- It was until he realized that he couldn’t hear your panicked voice or snarky remarks when fighting in his head. That he finally realized you where outside of his head. He was quick to connects the dots after that.

- There was a moment where he didn’t know how to react since he just figured that you were just from his imagination.

- He now has another adventuring buddy with Hyurle! Though luckily you do keep the both of them from harm. Mostly because if something happens to them you will get in trouble with like Twi and Leg and thats never fun.

- Though you have your moments. Shield surfing and paragliding are on top of that list and Wild is all up for teaching you the ropes.

- The topic of the history of hyrule gets brought up a lot with the two of you. Since his era has a lot of connections to the past era’s. He is all up for learning about what came from where. Soon theories start to fly about.

- When You, Him and Flora are finally all together. There is nothing stopping you all from bouncing off theories. With your outside knowledge mixing with what they know. Things start to fall into place.

- The answer to why the timeline is like this doesn’t get answer. But hey! At least you all are having fun!

- If you can’t cook he will teach you that too! If you can! Well buckle up your going to share your knowledge with him whether you want to or not.

- Once you know how or get used to cooking while camping, you help him out a lot and its these moments where you both talk the most.

- It’s comforting to him to know he wasn’t alone this whole time.

Legend:

- As soon as you two locked eyes he felt instant dread. Yes he knew. No he isn’t going to opening up to you.

- Playful Insults to bond? Yeah that’s literally how he talks to everyone so no special treatment.

- He keeps you at a distance but its not actually working.

- You talk about his adventures so casually like it happened a few days ago. You avoid Link’s Awakening though. If you got hurt with the plot twist then you could only imagine the pain Leg went through.

- “I’m still trying to process the fact you married a tree.” “Hey remember that one time with Yuga, you slammed face first into a wall so hard you knocked yourself out?” “God do you not wear pants because of the fish thing?”

- This relationship is literally: Only I can bully this one.

- He fears the moment you meet Ravio and Fable knowing full well you all will bond over teasing him.

- Overall though he knows you got his back no matter what, to the point he finds himself confining in you slowly.

- Guess who is also teaming up with Hyrule to get Legend to sleep. It you.

- Once you probably have forced him to sleep by getting wolfie to lay on him. It was the wolf or yourself. In the end it was both of you and he was trapped.

- A sign that he was becoming soft towards you was when he started sharing his items with you. He trusts that you know how to use them and if you don’t he is actually willing to show you.

- He regrets giving the bee badge to you.

Hyrule:

- Another person that is drenched in magic. It only took one look at you for him to realize who you were.

- The two of you were awkward as anything at first. Since to you he never really spoken in his adventure so you didn’t know how to picture his personality.

- There’s a lot of mystery in your mind about him since again there isn’t much to go off of with what your given in game. It’s weird for him to hear about how you interpret his personality from that perspective.

- Hyrule didn’t honestly expect you to try and befriend him tbh. It mostly him over thinking it.

- You do follow him sometimes when he wants to wander around and explore. Mostly because you claim he finds the coolest things when he does.

- But its just a excuse to actually get to know him.

- The two of you trade stories and questions about each of your lives. There might be things you know that he might not know of about his adventure and his hyrule.

- Of course never going into to much details since there are things you couldn’t tell him.

- Hyrule honestly was dreading the day you all would land in his Era. He loves his home but is also very aware of it not being the most…welcoming place.

- So it’s more then surprising to him that there is even more then the glint of familiarity and excitement on your face. Knowing full well what dangers where a head of you, you still were open to exploring his world to the fullest.

- It’s honestly refreshing to see someone love his era as much as he does.

- Another boy that needs hugs, please give him a hug.

- You both cheer each other on though.

- This relationship is just aggressive support between you two and the others.

Four: (I’m actively mixing the Four Sword game and manga just to be clear.)

- Not sure if he would know exactly who you where since during the second adventure your voice and presence bounce between the four of them.

- Yet I also feel like he took after you because he was a child in his first adventure, which worries you a lot. Since you did have choice words for Vaati.

- The first to realize was Vio then it went Blue, Red and Green. Despite being in the same head it was just a theory they had over all. They all had their own ways of confirming it.

- Vio noticed the small things you do around Four. Like not stepping on their shadow, and covering Four when things got chaotic in their head. Small references here and there. When the two of you are alone he almost quizzes you about things. Just to see how much you know and to see if your telling the true or not.

- Blue recognize your mannerisms being something he picked up on during the first and second adventure. Only vaguely since again he was a child / there was only a small part only with him. Your fighting banter when your in battle made you see where Blue got his colorful language from…

- Your comfort was what clued Red in. He remembers your presence more clearly then the others from the first and second adventure. It was a comforting (yet chaotic) presence in their adventures that he latched on to. More so from his first adventure since as a kid he made an imaginary friend to process the fact he could sense and hear your presence. When you came back in the second time around it felt so natural for Red to have you there and really helped make him go forward through his small journey.

- For Green? It was a lot of things but when he see’s you treating each color differently when they are in charged. It’s a refreshing sight to be honest. He just enjoys hearing and seeing that his brothers had someone to confide in. Even when they switch who is in control you some how could tell and spoke to them accordingly.

- They were all some what surprise that none of the others picked up on your treatment of him swapping so much. Yet their also glad because their not ready to reveal themselves quiet yet.

- As Four or as you nicknamed him ‘Rainbow’ the two of you tend to sick together when the world’s shift around. Since his body needs more time to recover.

- You two are another pair that cheers each other on when the moral is low.

- He introduces you to the Minish! Getting you a jabber nut so you can speak to them too. You can’t shrink down to properly talk to them so this was the next best thing.

- The four of them makes you a dagger to bring home to remember him by, there’s a kin stone imbedded where the blade meets the hilt.

Wind: (hello self projection my dear friend)

- Wind didn’t recognize you ether at first, yet he didn’t even blink when you join everyone. He was fully on board with getting a new member and is easiest the most opened.

- It was when you two are alone together that something clicked in his head. You see during the Wind Waker he was alone most of the time when he was on land. So he had to face a lot by himself.

- Having you was reassuring to him when facing some of the monsters alone, especially with the puppet ganon fight. The two of you both agree that it was creepy.

- CHAOTIC SIBLINGS PART 2… well kinda

- Wind is a lot more mature then you realized but you two still have those moments.

- You, Aryll and Grandma get along too! So he and his family basically sees you and the chain as family.

- Pranking buddies! You’re targets would never know. Mostly because your covering up for him. You two team up with Four and Wild so the pranks can get chaotic at times.

- No matter what age you are compare to him and if your ok with it he does like platonic physical affection. Your going to be trading off with Warriors a lot of the time for cuddles or it’s the three of you together.

- You teaching him our worlds sea shanties and him teaching you his? Heck yeah! Even making up songs with the others is something on the table and in the works which is nice.

- It’s another thing to bring back home thats personalized!

Honestly since I’ve written all of this down I want to write the fic more. Though I’ll probably not only because idk if people would even read it lol. So it will just be a bunch of head canons. Anyway rambling is done.

[moon-spirit-yue]

Namaari, smiling: hey dep la, could you go to the store and get a cartoon of milk? If they have avocados get six

Raya, nodding: of course!

*a few minutes later*

Raya, carrying 6 cartoons of milk: they had avocados!

Atitaya, raising an eyebrow: I don’t think that’s what she-

Namaari, shoving a mango in Atitaya’s mouth: thank you so much dep la! I really appreciate it, I love you so much

Raya, beaming from Namaari’s approval: I love you too!

Atitaya, internally: I’ve literally never seen anyone this down bad in my entire life

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”

Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.

lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting

okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer

“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST

I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?

gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”

btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One

anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO

ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!

lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD

KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW

SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW

LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH

SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS

HOLY SHIT DABI

I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes

meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels

ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now

YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK

WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that

OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS

MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!

HEY!!!!

fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things

well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?

oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess

(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)

amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --

“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY

NOOO JEANIST

LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT

“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them

OH FOR FUCK’S

I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls

(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)

also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol

yuh oh

forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time

oh fucksticks

excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF

HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck

this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??

meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING

ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME

seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR

Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD

which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life

THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS

JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE

BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol

(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)

so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen

“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed

oh shit and now the Noumus are here

cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know

-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??

“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT

fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku

FMMFHDKUHK W H A T

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK

(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)

MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??

hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG

MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD

[gay-salt-amber]

Twisted Wonderland incorrect quotes pt 2

The long awaited sequel, this time featuring @blackbutlerfandomnerddomain 's ocs :D

Epel: Why are Leona and Ruggie sitting with their backs to each other?

Jack: They had a fight.

Epel: Then why are they holding hands?

Jack: They get sad when they fight.

Riddle: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

Kalim: Jamil and I don’t use pet names.

Ace: I see. Hey, what do bees make?

Kalim: Honey?

Jamil: Yes, dear?

Kalim:

Ace: Don't ever lie to my face again.

Epel: Hey, Vil? Can I get some dating advice?

Vil: Just because I’m with Neige and Rook doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

Trey: How petty can you get?

Jade: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Ortho: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

Azul: Idia and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Malleus: *Sighing* What did Idia do?

Azul: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Idia: Who wants a steering wheel?

Store Worker: Would a Mx. Lilia please come to the front desk?

Lilia, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Kalim and Cater

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Kalim and Cater, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Lilia: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

Esther: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Arie: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Silver?

Silver: Probably “road work ahead”.

Sebek: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

Ashton: You love me, right, James?

James: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I 

don’t like it.

Kalim: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Jamil: Kalim, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

Epel: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Jack: Several traffic violations.

Ruggie: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Deuce: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Leona: Also, that’s not our car.

Riddle: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?

Floyd: Put spaghetti in it.

Riddle: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.

Che'nya: Put spaghetti in it.

Riddle: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.

Cater: Put spaghetti in it.

Riddle: I'm no longer taking suggestions.

Dylan: Adel you can’t move in with Rashad.

Adel: Why not?

Dylan: Well, um, how are you going to feel when they see you without any makeup?

Adel: I’m not wearing makeup right now.

Dylan: Holy crap, you’re beautiful.

Azul: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?

Idia: Oh, I’m always running

Idia: The question is from wha

Lilia: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person.

Lilia: And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'

Leona: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

Vil: You have to apologize to Rook

Epel: Fine.

Epel: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

Ace: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Jamil: Ace no.

Kalim: Mistlefoe.

Jamil: Please stop encouraging them.

Lilia: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Silver: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Lilia: Death is a social construct.

Vil: bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches

Floyd: A theif.

Riddle: Thief?

Floyd: Theif.

Riddle: I before E, except after C.

Floyd: Thceif.

Floyd: No.

Crowley: What's a word that's a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Crewel: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Sam: Smad.

[stevetonyweekly]

SteveTony Weekly - May 2

I know I say every week that I read a lot this week but I have been indulging in my favorite coping technique and so this list is ridiculously long. Twitter encouraged me. Blame them. 

**Indicates my recent favs 

~*~ 

On the inherent homoeroticism of cake decoration by welcoming_disaster (616/8K)

“She’s matchmaking, Barton,” Carol sighed.

“We,” Thor corrected, thumping himself hard in the chest, “art matchmaking.”

“Who, Cap n’ Tony?” Clint asked, his mouth full.

“Cap and Tony,” Janet confirmed, cutting herself a thin slice of egg and gently depositing it on her whole grain avocado toast, “it’s getting ridiculous.”

“Wait, I thought they were—“ Clint frowned, glancing around the room as though to confirm. Nothing but confused faces met his questioning gaze. “Huh. I really thought they were fucking.”

“And there is the crux of the issue,” Jess licked a bit of spaghetti sauce off her lip.

“Aye,” agreed Thor, “there’s rub.”

-----------

The team tries to set up Steve and Tony. Things don't go as planned.

Baby lovers like you and me (never say die) by FestiveFerret (Old Guard AU/7.5K)

The Avengers. They'd found him frozen in the ice, told him he was immortal, of all things. And with the way he'd lived through seventy years deep in the Atlantic, he found himself inclined to believe them. They'd also been very… convincing.

Without question, they integrated him into their unit - The Avengers, a secret team of unkillables seeking wrongs around the world and making them right, supported and housed by an enigmatic billionaire named Tony Stark. Their immortality, it seemed, was a secret to everyone but him.

Ready, set, bake by ChocolateCapCookie (Great British Bake Off/11k) 

The Avengers are on a nationally televised baking competition, but nobody seems to have warned the producers that the Avengers, while they save the world everyday and put their loves at risk doing so, are a) insanely competitive, and b) absolutely terrible bakers. Steve Rogers, especially, has a competitive streak a mile wide, and he's determined to win this competition, but it's not easy when his only real opponent is also the man he's been in love with for years.

***To make flowers grow (in this barren heart) by SoldiersShield, KakushiMiko (Hanahaki AU/16K) 

“You hide yourself away in your technology, but you are just as human as the rest of them. Your heart betrays your desire to possess.” Her gaze falls to the arc reactor, and Tony's blood runs cold in his veins.

“The Earth will reclaim what we have lost,” she says, dragging a hand over the chestplate of the armor. “It is you, and your kind-- your greed that pulls life from the soil as if it were nothing. You will reap what you have sown, Stark. The avarice in your heart will strangle the very life out of you.” Arna meets his eyes once more, a serene smile on her face as she leans forward.

“I hope he is worth dying for,” she murmurs, before digging her hand into his ribcage.

(Tony Stark falls in love with Steve Rogers. A rogue enchantress ensures he pays for it.)

Shelter from the storm by silkspectred (KidFic/5k) 

Tony adopts a baby. Guess who's Majorly Fucked Up™ about it.

Keep on beating by itsallAvengers (Domestic Fluff/6K) 

There were an awful lot of things Steve loved about Tony. But one thing in particular Steve could never get enough of was his heartbeat.

The good or bad thing by petreparkour (Multiverse/10k) 

 “It’s the metal suit,” Thor informed Steve, his normally-booming voice tinny over the SHIELD comms. “What did Stark call it—Iron Man?”

“But he’s down here,” Steve protested as the Hulk roared in Stark’s face, startling him into waking with a shout. “How could—”

“It’s damaged,” Thor reported. “But it looks different. More advanced. And he—ah. He’s carrying you, Captain.”

“Please tell me nobody kissed me,” Stark breathed out, and then Stark’s voice suddenly came over the comms, but the man lying next to him hadn’t moved.

“Guys, come on, you’re killing me here. What is it, 2012? God, I hate time travel. First, I'm fighting Thanos. Now, I have to deal with my past self and Thor's bad haircut? Oh my God, Cap, yes I hacked their comms, they’re my comms.”

Steve nearly opened his mouth to protest that he hadn’t said anything when he realized that this replica of Tony Stark wasn’t speaking to him.

***The tipping point by nightwalker (Domestic Fluff/7K) 

Tony has a few quirks. Steve's still trying to figure them all out.

We two, how long we were fool’d by glassessay (Soulmate AU/9K) 

Steve Rogers comes into the world as unblemished as his mother. When Anthony Stark is born, his soulmark is an obvious pattern of ink across his tiny chest.

It only takes a century, two names, and a shared love of Walt Whitman for them to find each other.

The tape in the cave by betheflame (Canon Divergent/5K) 

Steve had no idea what was happening.

“You think I didn’t know that?”

Tony was staring Zemo down as though the Sokovian was actual vermin - which, Steve reflected, he kind of was.

“You think that I,” Tony continued, not hiding the sneer in his voice, “Anthony Stark, who has more powerful technology in my literal fingers than most nations have, that I wouldn’t know everything possible about how my parents died? That I wouldn’t know it wasn’t an accident, that your silly little HYDRA Nazi knock-off pals are the ones who murdered them? Please, you are pathetic.”

Happy ending by Robin_tCJ (No-Powers AU/28K) 

 Steve is a mobile massage therapist, and Tony is a stressed billionaire. What could go wrong?

With a decent happiness by torigates (Teacher AU/16K) 

Tony Stark is Iron Man. Steve Rogers isn't, and never was Captain America.

Or, the one where everything is the same except Steve is a kindergarten teacher.

Nothing left but scars by SailorChibi (MCU/6.7K) - Reread

Steve wakes up to the fact that no one ever compliments or even says thank you to Tony, and that he has fallen into the same trap of painting Tony with a specific paintbrush.

This is how he showers a very confused Tony with praise to make up for it.

Our hearts should remember and follow by frostfall (MCU/5K) 

Steve hums. “I didn’t know you could play. Or sing. Don’t think I’ve heard anyone mention it before.”

Tony shrugs. “It’s one of the few things, skills, I don’t flaunt. Not something people are interested in, anyway. Not gonna sway any board members by playing fucking Für Elise for them. Sides’, there’s a high chance I wouldn’t even play. Well, maybe if you get me drunk enough and near an instrument. Then, I might reconsider.”

(After a dream leaves Tony rattled, he turns to the piano as a way to distract himself.)

Finally, you and me by pensversusswords (Multiverse/10K) 

Because in every layer of time, in every conceivable dimension, he was always meant to love Steve.

By some miracle, Steve was meant to love him back.

***Full disclosure not required (but appreciated) by Potrix (Identity Porn/16k) 

The one where Steve knows more than he lets on, Tony knows less than he pretends, Clint has a big mouth, Bucky is a little shit, and everyone learns why keeping secrets never ends well.

Almost never, anyway.

Heartlines by nanasekei (MCU/7.9K) 

“Let me,” Tony repeats. He regrets it deeply, so much, he wants to stick the words back into his mouth again, and it must show, in the way his voice wavers. He feels exposed, all of a sudden, as if he’s asking something bigger than what he can actually say. Let me touch you, let me take care of you. “Just… Let me do it.”

i found a way to let you in, but i never really had a doubt (marriage series) by quidhitch (Marriage Series/16k) 

Tony Stark doesn’t believe in marriage. It’s nobody’s fault. —Well, it’s Howard's fault, probably, but Tony doesn’t like to think about that for too long, finds that it dredges up all sorts of issues he’d rather keep buried under a mountain of strategically employed sarcasm, humorous self-deprecation, and the occasionally effective substance abuse.

***Hide your love away by sineala (Soulmate/33K) - Reread

Tony has suspected for a long time that the soulmark on his chest matches Steve's -- but he's never told Steve about it. And then it's too late to tell Steve anything at all ever again. In the wake of Steve's death, the Skrull invasion, and Norman Osborn's rise to power, the identity of his soulmate is just one of the many things Tony cuts out of his memory forever.

When Tony returns to consciousness, he's forced to deal with the aftermath of a war he no longer remembers fighting, not to mention a Steve Rogers who can barely stand to be in the same room with him. Surely the last thing Tony could ever need in his life is more amnesia. But that's what he gets. And Tony's new missing memory just might be the key to finding out the truth of his soulmark... as well as his chance to make things right once and for all.

Break the chain (can’t live in circles again) by orphan_account (FWB/19K) 

There had been seven amazing weeks of dating Steve Rogers before Tony realised that they weren’t dating at all. And then it was a scramble to adjust to the situation as it had always been: being Steve’s friend-with-benefits.

And if Steve seemed a little confused and bewildered by the way Tony was acting, well. Tony was probably just misreading that, too.

Five times steve and tony (tried to) bail each other out of jail by Teyke (MCU/6k) 

Twice before Civil War, twice after, and once during. For very loose definitions of both 'bail' and 'jail'.

Cracked hearts under iron ribs by XtaticPearl (Established Relationship/14k)

Rhodey is away for almost six months now and comes to meet Tony after the mission. He doesn't understand the domesticity of the whole Tower and unknowingly sets off a whole truck of insecurities which make Tony crawl back into being a Stark instead of just Tony. The team is not at all happy and Rhodey joins them in trying to figure out a way to help their resident genius feel better in his skin.

The single biggest problem with communication by BlossomsintheMist (616/108K)

In the wake of Steve's return from the dead and the end of Norman Osborn's reign of terror, the superhero community is recovering--Steve has taken on a new role and Tony is trying to put his life back together. Things are still awkward between them, but they're determined to put things to rights. But when a discussion about their feelings leads to further misunderstandings, they discover that might be more difficult than either of them realized. Set in the early Heroic Age after the end of Dark Reign, this is a get-together story about crossed wires--and second chances.

What are friends for? by bobertsmallismydad (MCU /2.8K) 

In which Steve is targeted by a virus. Will the Avengers be able to save him in time?

Starving by festiveferret (Vampire AU/2K) 

Steve woke up starving.

***Everybody wonders (What it would be like to love you) by SoldiersShield (MCU/3K) 

“...Is that what this is about?” He asks slowly. Steve blanches.

“Oh my god. It is.” Tony has no right looking as giddy as he does. “Steven Grant Rogers, are you jealous?”

--

Or: Steve and Tony have been dancing around each other for a while now, and Steve's rather content with it. Attending a gala together just might change that.

Re(A)d all over by brandnewfashion, MusicalLuna (Drunk Flirting/3k) 

Contrary to popular belief, Tony Stark can blush.

It just takes Steve getting drunk on some magical Asgardian mead for it to finally happen.

***The Do-over Proposal by nightwalker (Established Relationship/1.2k) 

Steve wants to go on a journey, Tony doesn't think it's a good time, and Bucky needs to beat some sense into both these idiots.

A Winter’s Ball by alliejowrites (Victorian AU/3.8K) 

Steve moves to London in search of a patron, so that he can finally devote himself to painting. He is not expecting everything he finds upon meeting Lord Stark. A fluffy little Victorian AU. One-shot.

What’s a fanfic by starksnack (AvAc/1K) 

Kamala introduces Tony and Steve to the world of fanfiction. There is a surprising amount of content about them being gay.

[noladyme]

You and Me makes Three - Part 1

Lyla moved to San Fransisco for work, and for a fresh start. The standoffish guy across the hall of her sublet peaks her interest in more ways than one; and when he finally opens up, she jumps at the chance to get to know him; and whatever it is his dark secret is.

Eddie Brock x OC Lyla

TW: smut and fluff

1.

I’d found the sublet on craigslist; which I came to regret, when meeting the current tenant. Ziggy – as the guy called himself – turned out to be a long haired ultra-deuche; who’d spent most of our first meeting looking down my top, and talking about his upcoming tour of Illinois, with his band; Dirty Riders. I’d had my share of adventures with guys in bands; but in Ziggy’s case, I could literally smell the perfume from the chick he’d probably banged the night before.

After spending 20 minutes trying to distract me from the task at hand; I finally got him back on track, and we’d come to an agreement on the rent for the 3 months I’d be using his place. It was steep, but after having landed the job at a private school – and having been asked to start the week after – I needed a home; if only temporarily, while I looked for something else.

With most of my stuff in storage; all I had with me the day I was supposed to move in, was a couple of suitcases; and three boxes of essentials – like my books, pens and notes. And of course, my computer – my lifeline.

The neighborhood wasn’t the greatest; so, when I realized the door phone wasn’t working, and the Zigster wasn’t answering his cell, I was lightly panicking. I was standing alone on a street in a new city; with my most valued belongings, and no way to get out of there; as the cab that had brought me, took off as soon as the driver got my last box out of the trunk.

I kept calling Ziggy, and pounding the button for the apartment; but nothing came of it. I sat down on the doorstep, and was just about ready to cry; when a guy in his 30’s, wearing a casual leather jacket, walked up to the door with a key. “Excuse me”, he muttered, pulling out his keys. I looked up at him. It was hard making out his eye-color – blues, greens and browns meshed together to make a color all of its own. I found myself caught up in trying to distinguish the different shades in them; when I realized that he was about to unlock the door, and walk in.

“Hey”, I said. “Do you live here?”. He sent me a friendly but reserved smile; making me also notice his full lips; and the way his front teeth were just a little bit crooked – just enough to make him look interesting. “Yeah”, he said. “I do… Can I help you?”. I let out a relieved smile. “I live here too”, I said. “Or, I’m supposed to… I’m subletting from Ziggy”. He raised his brows. “You’re a friend of Ziggys?”. “Not exactly”, I scoffed. “He’s leaving town for a few months, and is letting me use his place… but the door-phone isn’t working, and he isn’t picking up his cell”.

The man seemed to be having an internal dialogue, before coming to a conclusion. “Yeah. Ok… come on in”. “Thank you!”, I smiled; almost crying in relief. I picked up my suitcases, as he unlocked the door, and carried them inside; after which I got the first two boxes – the man holding the door for me. I thought I heard him mutter “Fine!” under his breath, before he stepped outside, grabbing the last box for me. “Oh crap! Careful, that’s heavy”, I managed to say; before he groaned from the weight of the many books, I’d stored in it. “Shit, no kidding”, he grunted.

He put the box down just inside the door. “Do you need help up the stairs?”, he asked; obviously hoping for me to say no. I smiled and shook my head. “Nah, I’m good. But thanks!”, I said. I stuck out my hand to shake his, and told him my name. “I’m Eddie”, he answered. “I guess we’re neighbors. I live across the hall from Ziggy”. “Thanks for the help, Eddie”, I grinned. “I’m Lyla… by the way”. “Nice to meet you”, he muttered. He walked up the stairs, sending me an inquisitive look over his shoulder.

Five trips up and down the stairs later; I finally had all my things outside Ziggys door. I tried calling him again; and heard a phone ring behind the door. You’ve got to be kidding me! I banged the door. “Ziggy! I’m here”, I yelled. “Open up, you dick”, I added, below my breath. I looked behind me, at what was apparently Eddies door; and saw something move behind the peephole.

I banged the door again. “Ziggy?”. Someone coughed and moved around some stuff behind the door; and Ziggy finally opened; looking at me with a seriously hungover expression. “Fuck. What’s today?”, he rasped. “Wednesday”, I said exasperatedly. His eyes widened. “Shit, beautiful. I’m so sorry!”, he said smilingly. “Come one in!”. “My name is Lyla”, I reminded him, and stepped in behind him. “Lyla-licious”, Ziggy sniggered; making me want to barf violently.

The studio apartment was, if possible, worse than I had imagined. A heavy smell of incense, weed and stale beer hung over the room; and a collection of bongs shaped like female torsos sat on a shelf. Ziggy had decorated the wall over his bed with posters of his own band.

Ziggy scrambled to get his things together. Apparently, he’d not packed up his things for the upcoming tour of steakhouses, coffeeshops and dive-bars throughout Illinois. “Let me just get this…”, he smirked at me; before rubbing himself as close as possible to me to get to a pack of xxl-condoms on a shelf in the kitchen area. “You know, if you need it, you’re welcome to hang around after I get back”. “I’m gonna be pretty focused on getting something permanent set up”, I smiled; swallowing bile. “Absolutely, yeah. That’s so cool”, he said; leaning against the counter I was standing by. “Just let me know, ok?”. He put his hand on my shoulder, and squeezed it. “Sure…”, I said, and stepped back; going to check out the rest of the space.

It was one room – combined livingspace/bedroom/kitchen. A small bathroom with – thank God! – a bathtub; which was going to need some serious cleaning before I’d even put a foot in it. But it was mine… at least for the next three months. It’s not a lot, I thought to myself. But I can work with this.

Ziggy seemed to have his stuff packed up; and was standing in the doorway to the small bathroom; blocking my exit. He had a guitarcase casually hanging from one shoulder. “So… I’m ready to go”, he smirked. I nodded and half smiled. “Keys?”, I said. “Right. Here…”. He handed me a set of keys “If I get any mail…”. “I’ll let you know; once a week, like we agreed”. “Yeah”, he smirked and nodded; looking me over like I was edible. “So, I’ll call you?”. I swallowed bile again. “Yup”, I said, and reached out my hand to shake his. He took it; and held on to it; letting his thumb stroke my fingers. I will tear off your arm if you don’t let go, I thought to myself.

“Take care, Lyla”, he said; and winked at me; before finally moving away from the doorframe; and grabbing his bags to leave. “Shit, I forgot. The guy across the hall… he’s kind a of weird. Be careful, ok?”. “Sure…”, I muttered, and walked after him to the door, closing it behind him. I let out an audible sigh of relief, and put on the door chain.

---

I opened the windows, and got to cleaning. An old ashtray shaped like an avocado, turned out to be an actual shell of an avocado; and for the third time that day, I almost vomited. Riffling through some old dusty cd’s of Ziggys, I found a Fleetwood Mac album. “Yes!”, I cried out. At least you have that going for you, Ziggy, I thought – until I realized he’d never unwrapped the cellophane around the cover. I unwrapped it myself, put on the album; and skipped to my favorite song; singing along to the lyrics. “… well, I’ve been afraid of changing, ‘cuz I built my life around you. But time makes you bolder, even children get older…”.

Someone knocked on the door. For a second, I was afraid Ziggy had changed his mind about touring, and had come back. I opened the door slightly, leaving the chain on. Outside stood Eddie. “Hi”, I said cautiously. He seemed warmer. “Hey. I think you dropped this in the hallway”. He was holding one of my notebooks. I unlatched the chain, and opened the door fully, taking the book from him. “Weird”, I said. “I could swear I’d packed it in the bottom of one of the boxes”. Eddie smiled nervously. “Well… maybe it jumped out”, he said. “Maybe”, I chuckled. “Thanks”.

He lingered. “The music…”, he said. “I’m sorry. Is it too loud?”, I asked. He shook his head. “Nah, it’s fine”, he said. “Just different than what usually comes out of this apartment”. I laughed. “Yeah… The Zigster seems to have a very specific taste”. “Yeah?”, Eddie smiled. “You should see his collection”, I said. He nodded and smiled crookedly. “Maybe… sometime”.

I noticed the door to his apartment was open. It seemed like the mirror opposite of mine. Just less disgusting. I met Eddies eyes. I still couldn’t figure out the color of them – all I could conclude was that they were… kind. I would have lost myself in them, if he hadn’t turned to walk back into his own place. “Uhm, Eddie?”, I said. He looked at me again. “Could you point me in the direction of a good… grocery store?”. Idiot… He scratched his head. “Yeah, I mean… I do most my shopping at Mrs. Chens, down the street”, he said. “Just don’t tell her you know me. She’ll try to sell you meditation tapes and scented candles”. I laughed. “A scented candle wouldn’t hurt this place”, I said. “Ziggy left behind some pretty gnarly smells”. He laughed. “He’s a… special guy”. Our eyes met again for a moment. Eddie seemed to want to say something else, but then his eyes moved, as if he was listening to something. “I gotta go”, he said; and went into his apartment, closing the door. He's strange, I thought. But something inside me wanted to figure him out.

---

The next few days went by without much happening. I finally finished cleaning my new living-space – except for the mattress. I couldn’t get myself to sleep on it, after I’d taken of the old bedding left behind by Ziggy; and finding quite a few stains I didn’t even want to touch with rubber-gloves – so I’d slept on the couch so far.

Once, I’d run in to Eddie by the mail slots; exchanging a friendly helloand a smile. He seemed to be in a hurry to get out of the door, carrying a messenger-bag and a motorcycle helmet. I noticed him opening his own slot. It had E. Brock, written with bold letters on it. Watching him walk away down the hall to the door; I couldn’t help but bite my lip and smile. He moved like he was late for something; but at the same time didn’t want anyone to tell him when he was supposed to get there. Like some kind of internal struggle, I just wanted to unwrap and explore.

Saturday morning, I woke up early for once, craving coffee and carbs. I had neither of those things in the kitchen; so, I got dressed in my favorite jeans and a light, loose t-shirt, to head out and track something down. As I was still new to San Francisco, I wasn’t sure about how the weather would be in October. I brought my short leather jacket. Just in case. I put a notebook and a pen in my shoulder-bag, and was off.

Outside the building I grabbed a free paper to have something to read. I took a streetcar towards the Mission District; enjoying the sunshine and smells from food carts we passed. Hunger was about to take me over; and I opened my paper, to distract myself. The headlines were mostly fluff stories and ads; except for a couple on the murder of a local politician, and animal attacks by the harbor. Some drug dealers had been found with their heads bitten clean off. I winced at the thought; before turning the page, and a new header caught my eye.

Home robberies in Downtown Oakland – Gangs or criminals on city payroll? - Story by Eddie Brock.

I was surprised for a second. He didn’t strike me as a journalist in the traditional sense.

The story was mostly an opinion piece, but was based heavily on facts he’d dug up from interviews with victims, and homeless youth in the area of the robberies. Eddie was questioning the arrests made on young gang members for the crimes; and in stead suggesting that city-leadership was paying crime syndicates to commit the robberies, to be able to gentrify the area. If he was right; this was a big story; so, I was finding it strange to see the story in a free newspaper.

I arrived near Mission Dolores Park; having read about a nice, upmarket coffee shop there; with donuts that the blogger had written were to absolutely die for. They turned out to be less so. After standing in line for 30 minutes; I was handed a stale cup of organically sourced, fairtrade coffee; and a donut that was hard enough to break a window. Stepping outside the shop; I decided to give it a chance; and bit in to it – instantly almost choking on the floury consistency of the pastry.

“They’re not very good, are they…”. I turned to face Eddie; standing with an amused smile on his face. “Nope”, I answered, and spat out the donut-bite into a napkin. “Sorry…”, I said embarrassedly. “No worries”, he chuckled. “If I’d known you were coming here, I’d have told you. They’re vegan…”. I raised my brows at him. “Shit, sorry! Are you vegan?”, he asked. “No”, I shook my head and chuckled. “But I’ve for sure had better vegan food than this”. He sighed and seemed to ponder something. “Come on”, he said, and gestured for me to follow him.

We walked down a narrow street; passing smaller shops and street vendors – some of which seemed to know Eddie, and sent him friendly nods. “You’re popular around here”, I said; walking next to him. He chuckled in response. “I dunno. I prefer buying from smaller shops. Personal touch, you know?”. “I get it”, I said. “Locally sourced, and eco-friendly; right?”. He shrugged. “Something like that”.

He stopped by a small storefront; displaying pride-flags and caricatures of politicians in the window. I knew already that I would like this place. The man behind the counters face lit up. “Yo, Ed! Back so soon, man?”, he grinned. “I know you got that parasite thing, but seriously…”. Eddie looked uncomfortable for a second. “Yeah, Don… this is my new neighbor”. He introduced me, avoiding my eyes. “She went to La Boulange”. Don inhaled sharply through his teeth. “Yikes… New in town?”, he asked. I chuckled and nodded. “Coffee black?”, Eddie asked me. I nodded. “Give us two blacks and a couple of glazed yeast”. “I’ll add some sprinkles for the lady”, Don winked friendlily. Eddie groaned. “Just… don’t make them the green ones”, he said. “I was high for 12 hours straight last time”. I laughed out loud.

We left the store; Eddie politely having paid for our coffees and donuts. Through the window I saw Don point at me, and give Eddie the thumbs up and a wink. “He’s a character”, I smiled. “He sure is”, Eddie answered. His voice was deliciously raspy, and watching him speak I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of trouble his lips could get in to with mine. I had to shake myself out of the thought. “Thanks for this”, I said. “You haven’t tasted it yet”, he said.

I bit in to my pastry. It was carb-heaven in my mouth. “Oh. Oh my God!”, I said, mouth full. “I know, right?”, Eddie smiled. I raised my brows and nodded fiercely. “It’s why I go out of my way to come here every morning”. “Don’t journalists work all over?”, I asked, covering my mouth with my hand, as I was still chewing. He scrunched his brows at me in question. I pulled out the newspaper from my bag. “Oh, yeah”, he said. “I do freelance stuff mostly; but I have a position at a newspaper downtown. Used to write for The Globe”. “New York?”, I asked. “So, why move to San Francisco?”. He shrugged. “I lost the position for… being what I am. An honest reporter”.

I half smiled. “So, a new life”. “Yeah, and a girl”, he admitted. “My fiancée”. My heart dropped; and I did my best not to show it on my face. “Oh! You’re engaged? That’s great!”. “Not really”, chuckled. “I messed that up too… by being what I am”. “An honest reporter…”, I muttered. “And at times a little too cutthroat about it”. He sighed. “It’s good though. She’s good. I’m good. We’re good”.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why am I telling you all this stuff?”, he said and laughed. “Are you sure you’renot a reporter?”. “Nah. I’m just an elementary schoolteacher”, I said. “I do write, though. But not articles”. “What?”, he said earnestly. I shook my head. “Another time. I’m sure you have somewhere to be”. He looked at his watch. “Shit, yeah!”, he said. “Sorry, I gotta run”. “It’s fine. Thanks again”.

He nodded and smiled. “You take care, teach’”, he said. “See you around”. He walked away; scratching his head, and looking back at me a couple of times. I took my time enjoying my donut and coffee; and walked in the opposite direction. Eddie – Be still my beating heart.

---

I spent the rest of the morning trying to map out the best way to and from work. As I was starting the next Monday morning, the nerves were getting to me. They’re just 5-yearolds, I kept telling myself. 5-yearolds attending a private school funded by their very rich parents; and some pretty serious sponsors from Silicon Valley. And me without my degree from MIT…

I stopped at Mrs. Chens for some light groceries. Although I’d loved Don’s donuts – and his coffee had been heavenly – I was to anxious to see myself making my way all the way to the Mission District the next day; and I always needed caffeine and access to some kind of breakfast in the morning. The lady behind the counter – Chen, I assumed – seemed nice, though a bit standoffish; and quickly checked out my coffee, bacon, eggs, cheese; and other essentials. “You’re new here”, she said. “How did you know?”, I asked. “I usually only get regulars”, she answered, and narrowed her eyes at me. “I moved in down the street. My neighbor recommended your shop”, I smiled. “Who?”, she demanded. “Eddie…”, I answered timidly. Her face instantly became warmer. “He’s a good boy”, she said. “Tell him to pic up my cousins latest cd. It’ll do him good. As well as his parasite”. That parasite thing again. Weird. I thanked her, grabbed my stuff; and left the store.

I made my way back to the apartment; cranked up the Fleetwood, and danced it out for a while. I’d always done that; when I needed to get something out of my system. It was better than drinking myself into oblivion – and I was out of whiskey.

I was completely oblivious to anything around me, when I heard someone clear their throat. I turned around, arms in the air; and almost died from embarrassment. The door was open; and in the opening stood Eddie.

“Sorry, it was open”, he said; trying to stifle a smile. “Ziggy had a crazy ex kick it down once. It’s always needed an extra push and pull to close properly, since then”. I nodded, blushing. He held up a carton of eggs. “Chen said you forgot this”, he said. “Thanks…”, I said, taking the pack from him. I grimaced. “So… this is embarrassing”. He laughed. “What? The eggs, or the dancing?”, he chuckled. “Ha, ha. Laugh it out”, I said, stifling a smile. “I was enjoying the view”, he said; and glint to his eyes – before grimacing himself. “Sorry… that was… probably crossing a line”. “It’s fine… you’re fine…”, I said; realizing what I’d just said. “Good, I mean. Shit… I do this to clear my head, sometimes. Dance. It relaxes me”.

He laughed. “I just got back from… a thing”, he said. “I need to clear my head a bit as well. Was gonna take a ride up to Coit Tower”. I smiled; my blushing beginning to fade. “That sounds nice”, I smiled. He exhaled. “Yeah… do you wanna come?”. My jaw dropped. “Uh… yeah. Sure. I’d like that”, I said. What the hell, Eddie? Are you asking me out? “Great”, he smiled. “I was gonna take my bike; are you good with that?”. “I don’t have a bike”, I said. He chuckled. “Not that kind of bike”. Right. The motorcycle helmet. “And now I feel like an idiot”, I muttered. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve met the biggest idiots in media, politics and sports; and you look nothing like them”, he said. “You do look like someone who needs to get out of this place for a while”. I smiled; grabbed my jacket; and followed him out the door – making sure it was properly shut behind me.

Eddie grabbed two helmets from his apartment; giving me another chance peak into his place. It smelled nice. Like tater tots and musky cologne. I didn’t know why, but suddenly it was my favorite smell. “Let’s go”, Eddie said; handing me one of the helmets; and we made our way down the stairs.

Outside the building stood a motorcycle. It was clearly well cared for. Eddie got on it, and put on his helmet; gesturing for me to get on behind him. “You should hold on”, he said. I searched for something to grab; and he took my wrists; pulling my arms around his waist. Wow. Ok. Firm. “You good?”, he asked. “Yeah”, I squeaked. He chuckled behind his helmet. “Sit tight, teach’”. He started the bike, and revved the engine; before taking off. “Oh my God”, I yelped; feeling his body shake in laughter in front of me.

I was convinced he took the steepest roads; scaring the shit out of me for the first few miles – before I finally got comfortable behind him. I relaxed my body; and let myself enjoy the view of the city in the dusk – and how close I was to Eddies warm body. I felt his calm breathing; and matched it – soon feeling completely relaxed. We hit a bump, making the bike jump a bit; and I laughed in glee; hearing him laugh along with me.

The drive was over way to soon for my liking. We’d made our way up Telegraph hill; and I got off the bike, taking of my helmet. “You liked that, huh?”, Eddie grinned at me. “Yeah, it was fun!”, I smiled. He looked at me; almost in wonder. “Was that your first time on a bike?”. “I tried it once, for like five minutes; when I was a kid, but kind of. Yeah”, I admitted. “I couldn’t tell”, he smirked sarcastically. I frowned in mock annoyance. “Shut up”, I said. “You’ve never had a better passenger”. He laughed. “Yeah… come on”.

The sun was going down; and we were too late for tickets to get up the tower; but Eddie seemed unfazed. “There’s a good view over here”, he said; putting his hand on my lower back, to lead me over to a railing. “You gonna push me over this thing?”, I joked. “Nah, would be a poor move for a first date”, he said. I looked at him. “This is a date?”, I smiled. He seemed to have an internal dialogue. “I… don’t know”, he said. “Do you want it to be?” I bit my lip. “Let’s see how good this view is; and I’ll let you know”.

The view was stunning. I could see both the lights of the city as well as the Golden Gate bridge. My jaw dropped at the sight. “Wow…”. Eddie looked at me. “Yeah, it’s pretty special”, he said.

I stepped towards the binoculars; searing my pockets for change. “I don’t have a quarter!”, I heard Eddie whisper. “It’s fine”, I smiled at him. “I can see pretty clear anyway”. He looked me, caught off guard. “Yeah. Sorry…”. I leant against the railing. “I could fall in love with this city”, I proclaimed. Eddie smiled warmly at me, walking up next to me – close enough for me to feel the heat radiating from his body.

We looked at the views for a while, talking about this and that. I told Eddie about my hometown, and how I’d loved it as well. “So, why did you decide to come here”. “It’s a long story”, I muttered. “Come on, I’ve already seen you dance!”, he chuckled. “You don’t like my dancing?”, I gasped in jest. He smiled. “You really put the oogie in the boogie”, he said. “You’re the most graceful elephant in a porcelain shop, I’ve ever seen”. “So now I’m an elephant?”, I raised a brow at him. He grimaced. “I walked right in to that”, he muttered. “Sorry…”. I smiled at him in forgiveness. “Seriously though. Why’d you make the move?”

I couldn’t help myself. I had to mess with him. “It’s embarrassing”, I said. He smiled encouragingly. “Ever since I was a kid… I’ve always wanted to act. Be in the big movies”. His lips parted, and he looked really uncomfortable. I continued. “So… I decided to give it a shot. Come here; and be near Hollywood, you know?”. I smiled earnestly. “I think I’ve finally got a shot; now that the studios are just down the street”. Eddie looked genuinely sorry for me. “Lyla… I don’t…”, he began. “Eddie…”, I smiled. “I’m kidding”. He exhaled in relief. “Thank God. I really didn’t want to be the one to tell you… You know?”. “I know”, I smirked. “’Cuz we’re a way off from Hollywood here”. I nodded. “About 400 miles. I realize that”. He began laughing, and shook his head. “Is this payback for the elephant thing?”, he said. I shrugged. “Maybe”, I smiled.

He bumped my shoulder with his own. “You’re bad news, darlin’!”, he laughed. “You’re not, though”, I answered. “Tell me; why did your article on those home robberies end up in a free newspaper, instead of some big ass media outlet?”. He sighed. “Not everyone wants to run the hard stories”, he said. “As long as it gets out there…”. I nodded. “I get it”, I said. “Besides, in a free paper the story will get a broader audience, right?”. He shrugged. “I hope so”, he said. “I think it’s an important story”. “Me too”, I agreed.

I told Eddie about my new job. “Private school?”, he grimaced. I laughed. “Yeah, I know”, I said. “Not very socially conscious of me. But the pay is good. And I needed a change”. “What made you move here? The truth this time”, he smiled. “It’s got to be more than the job. You don’t strike me as someone who does things just for money”. I chewed my lip. “I wasn’t in a very good place in my job, or my life”, I admitted.

He looked at me with warm eyes – the color even more indistinguishable in the dusk. I bit my lip; wanting desperately for something to happen. “How’s your head? A bit clearer?”, he said quietly. “Not really…”, I admitted. He let out a quiet laugh, and wrinkled his forehead. “Yeah, me neither”, he muttered. “Can I kiss you? I just feel like I should, you know...?”. I interrupted him by taking his hand. “Yes…”. He nodded and sighed in relief. “Ok. Then… I’m going to do that. Now”. I chuckled; and laced my fingers with his. He stepped closer; putting a lock of my hair behind my ear; before placing his hand on my cheek; letting his thumb stroke my cheekbone. “I like your eyes…”, he said. “Stop talking, Eddie”, I smiled. “Ok”, he said; and finally let his full lips meet mine.

It was soft. Gentle. I parted my lips; letting the tip of my tongue meet his. He wrapped his arm around my waist, and pulled me close; and I slid my hands around his neck – letting my fingertips play with the hair there. He pulled his head back a bit; letting our foreheads meet. “You’re… something else”, he smiled. “Something good, I hope”, I answered. “Yeah”, he breathed. “Can I… just… one more time?”, he muttered; before pressing his lips to mine again. I chuckled against his kiss; and returned his enthusiasm. This time there was a bit more heat to our connection. He held on to me; making me stand flush against him. I felt a rush of blood to my core; and my breath hitched.

Someone cleared their throat. Our lips parted, and we saw that we we’re being watched by an elderly couple. “You kids should take that somewhere else”, one of the men said. I flushed red, and Eddie took my hand. “Yeah. Let’s… go”, he smiled.

---

Once back at our building, Eddie gave me a hand to get off his bike. We walked up the stairs together, and paused in front of our doors.

“Thanks for this”, I said. “I needed a distraction”. “I’m a distraction now?”, Eddie asked with a smirk. “A good one”, I chuckled. He ran a hand through his hair, and sighed. “Thanks for the… kissing part. I liked that”, he said. “I did too”, I said, before chewing my bottom lip for a moment. “We could do it again… If you want to”. Eddie looked relieved. “I really do”, he smiled, and took a step closer to me. I met him halfway, and leaned in to him, as he cupped my cheek, and our lips met. He took my bottom lip between his own; softly tugging it – and the repeated the process with the top one. My tongue brushed against his lips, and he met it with his own; letting them reacquaint themselves with each other.

Eddie put his arm around me, and I shivered in pleasure, as our hips met; and I felt his body’s very obvious reaction to our kiss. He let out a soft groan; a sound that sent electricity straight to my core. Grabbing on tighter to me, he almost had my knees give in. In spite of his normally withdrawn and almost aloof demeanor – which he’d relaxed somewhat, curing our evening together – he now seemed like he couldn’t get me close enough; almost hungry in his kiss. I was right there with him; ready to throw all inhibitions out the window, and let him take me in that hallway. I literally had to dig my nails in to my palm, to tear myself from the heated moment.

I put my hands on Eddie’s shoulders, and pushed him away as gently as I could. “I’m sorry… Did I hurt you?”, he asked, in a surprisingly concerned voice. “No, Eddie; I’m…”, I tried. “I don’t always know my own strength. I’ll be more careful…”. Eddie seemed unable to stop talking. I put my fingertips to his soft lips – for a short second considering slipping one into his mouth; just to feel him suck on it – and took a step back. “Eddie, you didn’t do anything wrong. Really!”, I smiled. “But, I have this rule… I don’t have sex on the first date”. Eddie’s eyes widened, and he took a step back himself. “No… Of course! I don’t want you to think, I see you as some kind of… I mean, if you were, there would be nothing wrong with that… People can enjoy sex, that’s completely normal… But I would never expect you to just…” I couldn’t help but smile at his flustered babbling, but in the end, I decided to put him out of his misery. I leaned in, and gave him a short kiss on the cheek. “Goodnight”, I said. “Yeah… goodnight, Lyla”, Eddie said. He watched me as I unlocked my door, and I gave him a final smile, before stepping inside, and closing it behind me.

I leaned against the wall, and sighed frustratedly. It felt like everything below my bellybutton was literally screaming at my brain, saying; open the door, and stop thinking so much, you stupid blob of fat and water! I want to play!. I peeked out of the peephole, and saw Eddie beginning to fish out his keys. He looked like he was having a frustrated conversation with himself. He turned and looked at my door, and I quickly pulled back from the peephole. “You’re being an idiot”, I whispered to myself.

Before I knew it had happened, I had opened my door. “Eddie…”. He dropped his keys in chock, and scrambled to pick them up. His jacket and shirt rode up slightly, letting me get a peek at his tattooed torso; only making my resolve stronger. “Yeah! Hey… Hi”, he said, and got up to stand again. “You know, when I said I’d let you know whether it was a date or not…”. “Yeah?”, Eddie muttered. I chewed my lip, and took a deep breath before continuing. “I decided it wasn’t a date… So, technically, I wouldn’t be breaking my rule”. Eddie looked confused for a moment, before his eyes lit up. “Oh… Oh! You mean…”. He seemed unable to finish the sentence; and I felt my cheeks beginning to burn. “I mean, unless you changed your mind”, I muttered. “No!”, Eddie said, taking a step towards me. “I’d like that”.

I let out a pleased sigh, and was even more relieved when Eddie decided to take the lead, and step over to me; instantly capturing my lips in a warm kiss. I put my arms around his neck, and let myself float away in the pleasurable sensations his soft, full lips sent through my body. I’d known this man for less than a week – I could hardly say that I knew him at all – but everything in that moment was perfect; as if we were made to do this. Eddie pressed me against the doorway to my apartment, and let out a guttural groan when I ran my nails through his short hair. He pressed his tongue into my mouth, and once again I relished in his taste.

I looked out the corner of my eye at the main living area of my sublet, and frowned. I pulled back slightly, to be able to speak. Eddie moved his kisses down to my neck, and I gasped audibly. “Eddie… Oh, god. That’s… No, stop!”, I rasped. He pulled back instantly, and met my eyes. “What?”, he asked. “The bed in there is kind of gnarly… Can we do this at your place?”, I said. “Yeah, of course”, he smiled, and tore himself from me, to run over and open his own door. I closed the door to my own place – giving it that extra yank it needed – and stepped up behind Eddie. He looked at me over his shoulder. “Sorry about the mess", he muttered apologetically, and opened his door.

Eddie’s apartment was cluttered, but not dirty. I could have sworn I saw a few unwashed dishes by the sink, but when I blinked, they were gone; as if a shadow had whisked them away. He had post-it notes hanging with ideas for stories, and a couple that read things like If you eat it, replace it and Pigeons are not food. “Do you have a roommate?”, I asked. Eddie chuckled nervously to himself. “Nah, I… forget things”, he said, and tore down a note reading No roadkill in the tub!.

I decided against asking, and simply made my way over to the couch, letting my finger run along the back of it. “Do you want some coffee? Or a beer?”, Eddie asked, and moved towards the fridge. I bit my lip, and shook my head. “Maybe… after?”, I said, trying for seductive; and failing miserably, when I tripped over a stack of papers on the floor. Before I knew what happened, Eddie was next to me; catching me before I hit the floor. “Wow… you’re fast!”, I said. “I… did track in high school”, he said. “You were all the way over…”, I began.

Eddie pressed his lips to mine, to shut me up, and soon I was forgetting all about the ten feet he’d traversed in less than a second. As quickly as I could, I shed my jacket, and Eddie’s lips once again travelled down my neck. I pushed his jacket off his shoulders, and couldn’t help put squeeze his biceps; finding them as firm as I’d imagined. As Eddie latched on to my pulse-point, I let out soft moan; and was rewarded with his hands moving down to my butt. Giving them a tight squeeze, he suddenly lifted me up, and made me put my legs around his waist. “Let’s move over here”, he muttered, and walked us over to the bed in the corner; gently setting me down on it.

We both began tugging at each other’s tops at the same time, but after chuckling at each other; we silently decided to take care of our own clothing. After I’d shed my tank-top, I kicked off my sneakers while Eddie took off his boots. We kept eye-contact as much as possible, and I saw nothing but appreciation in his gaze, as he saw me get more and more undressed. I was enjoying the sight of his bare torso as well; wanting nothing more than to bury my face in the soft hairs of his barreled chest. I pulled off my jeans – leaving me in socks, bra and panties – and moved back on the bed. Eddie raised a brow at me, and shook his head; and once he had gotten rid of his own pants, he grabbed my ankle, and pulled me closer. I yelped in glee as my groin met his, and he pushed me to lie back. I managed to reach down, and hook my finger into the waistband of his boxer briefs; but Eddie grabbed my wrist. “We got all night…”, he said. “But…”, I said. “Relax”.

He smirked mischievously, and kneeled down at the foot of the bed, and ran his palms up my thighs; leaving goosebumps in their wake. As he left a soft kiss on the inside of my left thigh, while his fingertips stroked circles on my right one. My breath hitched, as his warm breath travelled up to my warmth. I was ready to scream by the time his soft lips left an openmouthed kiss on my covered folds. “Please…!”, I whined. Eddie chuckled, and I felt his tongue lick a broad stripe against the lace covering my throbbing, most sensitive parts. Once again, I tried to take charge, by grabbing his head; but he grabbed my wrists, and forced them down my sides. “I really don’t want to have to hold you down”, he chided. “I kind of need my hands for what I’m about to do…”. I let out a frustrated groan, and relaxed my arms as much as I could. “Good girl…”, Eddie hummed, and let go of my hands. I threw my arms back, and grabbed for one of the pillows above my head, and dug my fingers in to it, to keep from getting in the way of Eddie’s work on my privates again.

With agonizingly slow movements, Eddie hooked his fingers into my panties, and pulled them down my feet. He held them up with one finger, and gave me another smirk, before flicking them away. They landed over his open laptop, and we both laughed for a moment; before Eddie once again lowered his face. The last thing I saw before throwing my head back in pleasure, was Eddie’s pleased eyes widening at his upcoming feast. His perfect mouth closed around my folds and clit, and he gave me a deep suckle, before flicking his tongue over my clit. “I know…”, he muttered. “Come again?”, I croaked. “I’m just enjoying my meal”, Eddie replied, blushing adorably. “Ok… Uhm… well, contin… Oh my god!”. Eddie had entered me with two fingers, and began moving them in a come-hither motion, while sucking hard at my nub. Letting out a growl against my wetness, Eddie soon had me seeing stars. As his fingers worked on my most sensitive spot inside, his tongue moved in a zigzag pattern between my folds; going up and down, and never forgetting to give my clit a languid stroke when he reached it. I put the pillow over my face, and cried out in pleasure, as Eddie worked me towards a mind shattering orgasm. Everything went white, and I’m pretty sure I floated above the mattress for a few seconds; as if something was lifting me in the air.

I was panting into the pillow and shaking all over, as I came down. “Don’t do that!”, Eddie grunted. “What?”, I muttered through the pillow. Eddie climbed up my body, and pulled it away from my face, looking flustered. “Just… don’t cover your face. I want to see you”, he said. “Ok…”, I said.

We smiled at each other, and kissed again. I could taste myself on his tongue, and enjoyed it more than was proper. Eddie laid down between my legs, and pressed against me; making me leave a wet spot on his boxers, from my still glistening folds. “Let me just get these off”, he smiled, and pulled down his underwear; and letting his erection spring free. I smiled in appreciation, and took a hold of my new friend; gently beginning to stroke it. “That’s… that’s nice”, Eddie said, straining to keep his composure. “A bit harder, please”. I tightened my hold, and received a deep moan in reply. “Condom?”, I asked. “Shit, yeah”, Eddie said, and reluctantly pulled himself out of my grasp. As he got off the bed, and ran over to search one of the drawers in his dresser, I snapped open my bra, and took it off. When he turned around to face me, with a foil packet in his hand, his jaw dropped at the sight of my mounds. “That is… Those are very nice”, he croaked. I chuckled, and pulled off my socks; wanting to be completely naked. “Oh, right!”, Eddie said, and tugged his own socks off, one at a time; losing his balance, and falling on to the bed next to me.

I nabbed the foil packet from his hand, and opened it carefully, pulling out the condom. Straddling Eddies legs, I closed my fingers around the tip of the rubber, and held it to the head of his penis. I rolled it down a little, before lowering my head, and closing my mouth around it; rolling it the rest of the way with my lips. Eddie let out a gasping groan, and looked down at me with wide eyes. Once the condom was all the way down his hardness, I released him from my mouth, and sat up; smiling sweetly. “Where did you learn that?”, he asked. “While you were doing track in high school, I was under the bleachers; doing other kinds of workout”, I shrugged. “It’s an interesting talent”, he chuckled. “I have many more”, I said, raising a brow at him. “I’m sure you do”, Eddie smiled, and grabbed the back of my head; pulling me in for a hungry kiss.

I was flipped onto my back, and Eddie placed himself at my entrance. “Yeah?”, he said, searching my eyes for the go-ahead. “Please”, I said, unable to hide the pleading tone in my voice. Eddie gave me one more deep kiss, and as he did, he pushed himself inside me; bottoming out in my warmth. We both moaned deeply as we were conjoined, and Eddie began moving slowly in and out of me. “You’re so warm… and tight!”, he gasped into my ear. “You fit perfectly”, I panted, and moved my hips to meet his every thrust. “I do, don’t I…”, Eddie chuckled. “Holy… wow”. I locked my leg around his hips, and Eddie grabbed my other leg; hooking his arm under my knee. With ever thrust, the head of his penis brushed against my g-spot; but even just the friction against my nub, and the feeling of his velvety hardness brushing against my walls, were enough to make me whimper in pleasure.

After a while of moving together slowly, I felt my walls beginning to quake; and Eddie’s face lit up. He began thrusting faster and harder, and soon I was crying out in ecstasy again. Every atom in my being felt like it was exploding, and I came around him. “Yes!”, I cried out, and Eddie laughed, seemingly overjoyed that he could make me feel this way. “Fuck, you look beautiful when you come”, he grinned. My hair was a tussled, and I was pretty sure my makeup was a mess, but I took his words as truth in that moment; convinced from the expression on his face, that there was no way he could be lying. “Thank you… for that”, I gasped. “And for the orgasm. That was pretty awesome too”. We laughed together for a moment, before Eddie leaned down, and kissed me. “Are you good to continue?”, he asked. “Don’t you dare stop!”, I exclaimed. “Ok… Turn around, then”.

He pulled out of me – leaving me feeling empty and wanting more – and grabbed my hip, to make me turn over. I got on all fours, and once again felt Eddie probing my entrance. He pushed into me with a pleased sigh, and began moving again. He shifted between fast and slow; as if every time he picked up speed, he willed himself to slow down again. “It’s ok. I can take it”, I said. “Alright”, Eddie panted, and let out a groan, as he slammed in to me. I feel forwards on the bed, landing on my chest; and felt my backside lift with every one of Eddie’s thrusts in to me. “… just go to sleep!”, I heard Eddie behind me. “I’m not…”, I said. “What?”. “I’m not asleep. How could I be?” “Oh… No, yeah; of course!”.

He snaked a hand underneath me, and expertly began stroking circles against my clit. I was soon, once again, feeling the familiar rush of an impending orgasm. “I’m gonna…”, I rasped. “Again?”, Eddie panted; still thrusting in to me, and having found the perfect rhythm for the both of us. “Uh huh…”, I whimpered, and turned my face into the mattress; crying out in pleasure. My walls contracted around Eddie’s hardness, and moments later, he let out a rasping groan; and came.

I was trying to regain my breath, and still feeling my muscles clenching throughout my body; as Eddie pulled out of me. He placed a soft kiss to the back of my neck, and got off the bed, to rid himself of the condom. I pulled at the sheet, wrapping it around me, as he returned to the bed and slipped his boxers back on. He looked satisfied, but also a bit frustrated, and I quietly excused myself to the bathroom, to clean up.

Through the door, I heard him shuffling around the small apartment, and seemingly talking to himself. “… stay out of it… was a me thing… I don’t need that”. I was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable at the situation; and must have been stood for quite a while in the small bathroom, because suddenly there was a knock on the door. “Are you ok in there?”, Eddie called out. “Yeah!”, I replied, quickly finishing my cleanup, and washing my hands. I stepped out into the living area again, and gave him a half smile. “Uhm… are youok though?”. Eddie leaned in, and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek, before stepping over to the fridge. “Of course… I’m awesome”, he said, and got out two beers. “That was great!”. I examined his face, and couldn’t help but frown. “Ok… You just seem a little out of it”, I said, and accepted the drink. “Are you regretting…”. “No!”, Eddie exclaimed, his eyes wide and earnest. “Not at all… I just get in my head sometimes”. “Ok…”, I muttered.

Eddie sighed deeply, and took my hand. “Come on”, he said, and pulled me over to sit on the couch. “That… what we just did; that was really great. You were great”. “So were you”, I smiled, biting my lip. “Yeah?”, Eddie said; a slight pink hue to his cheeks. “Thanks…”. As I took a welcome sip of my beer, he merged his fingers with my free hand. “I’d like to do it again… If you’re good with that”. “I’d like that”, I said. We sat for a moment in silence. “Do you wanna stay the night?”. “I should get going”. We’d spoken at the same time. “Oh… Well, if you wanna go…”, Eddie said. “I just thought – seeing as you said the bed at your place wasn’t that great – maybe you’d want to sleep somewhere else”. “The couch isn’t much better”, I chuckled. “Are you sure though? I don’t want you to think you have to…”. “I’d like you to stay”, Eddie said. I felt my cheeks burn. “Ok… I’ll stay”, I said.

Eddie lit up in a grin, and leaned in to give me a warm kiss. “I’m happy you moved in across the hall”, he said. “Me too”, I smiled. “Me three…! Too!”, Eddie said, his voice having shifted from deep, and back to his raspy tone within seconds. He cleared his throat. “Sorry… My throat is a bit dry”, he said, and took a deep swig of his beer. I frowned in confusion, but decided to let it go. We had just spent a good while exercising, and my own throat was a little dry as well; and I took another sip of my beer.

We sat for a long moment in silence, sipping at our bottles, and smiling warmly at each other; before Eddie frowned deeply. “I have to tell you something”, he said. “And… You might change your mind about staying”. I felt a shudder go through my body, suddenly worried where this was going. “What is it?”, I croaked. Eddie took a deep breath, and blew it out. He took my beer from me, and put it down on the coffee table, next to his own. Taking both my hands, he looked deeply in to my eyes. “Here goes… Uhm… Wow, this is hard”, he said. “Just tell me”, I said, trying for calm and encouraging. “Ok… I snore… And not in the cute way”, Eddie said. “I give the streetcars a run for their money, when it comes to noise”. I instantly began laughing in relief. “That’s it? You should hear me!”. Eddie raised his brows at me. “I’ll bet you 20 bucks and a donut from Don’s, I can outdo you”, he said. “You’re a journalist. Don’t you have a Dictaphone?”, I asked. Eddie sprang over to his messenger bag, and pulled out a small recorder. “Let’s do this!”, he exclaimed.

I got to my feet, and followed him over to the bed. Unwrapping myself from the sheet, Eddie gave me a sly smile, and pulled me in for a deep kiss – running his hands up and down my sides – before he let me crawl onto the bed. Once I laid down, he crawled in next to me, and put the sheet over the both of us. He clicked the record button on the Dictaphone, and put it by the bed: before pulling me in to his arms. I cuddled up against him, and let his warmth lull me; feeling suddenly very tired. “Goodnight, Ed”, I whispered. We gave each other a soft kiss. “Goodnight, Lyla”, he replied.

I was already halfway asleep, when something tucked us in; pulling the covers over us. “Eddie?”, I yawned. “Yeah?”, he asked hesitantly. “Was that you?”. “Yes!”. “Ok. Goodnight”. I was out.

---

[blush-and-books]

Hey! Do you have a fic rec post and if not, would you mind sharing a few of your favourites?

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE. TURN IT UP!!!!!!

*all of these are juke so hopefully thats what you were looking for*

**list is subject to change when my dumbassery fades for a moment and i remember all the ones i probably forgot**

Multi-Chapter Fics:

A Hundred Bad Days (Make A Hundred Good Stories) // Just a Casual, Casual Easy Thing by @pearlcaddy - if you haven’t read this. what are you doing. please read it. also read pearlcaddy’s entire body of work, especially Some Killer Queen You Are which made me sob

i’ve got a crazy feeling this isn’t our first time around by @lydias--stiles - once again. i cried. the yearning is lovely. 

We Found Wonderland by @pink-flame - oh my god it took me so long to actually start reading this and i regret every day that i put it off. i have sobbed so hard (BUT ITS NOT SOLID ANGST ITS JUST THE PINING OF IT ALL) and the talent here is so palpable and this could literally be a novel and gahhhhhh consistent updates too which is v legendary

Beating Like Thunder by petalpusher on AO3 - look i am not a werewolf girl but this shit FUCKS!!!!!!! i love it so much and author im sorry idk if youre on tumblr if you are please follow me 

Who Could Deny These Butterflies? by @xxprettylittletimebombxx - there’s only one chapter but its the way i am so excited for the continuation!!!

there’s an ache in you (put there by the ache in me) by jukulele on AO3 - i love the slowburn thats happening in this one and cant wait for an update!!!!! again author idk if you have tumblr but follow me if you do!!

relight that spark by @ruzek-halstead - literally so amazing, also consistent/relatively consistent updating, the cinderella story juke au that i never knew i needed but dont know how i lived without 

The Best Shades of Life by @captainkippen - oh my god. just. OH MY GOD. IT IS SO GOOD. 

One Shots:

Can I Keep You? & Ray Molina, Crime Scene Photographer and Matchmaker are both by @bluefirewrites who also has amazing multi-chapters that she is working on but her oneshots are iconic!!!!!! 

dead of night by @ruzek-halstead - they have so many amazing oneshots so like, read them all, but this one has to be my favorite!!!!

anyway, here’s wonderwall by encroix on AO3 - i dont know how to explain it but this one fucked me up good and simple

at long last, love has arrived by @lydias--stiles - monster 40+k royalty au that will make your day

We play pretend by fanfics_she_wrote on AO3 - THIS MASTERPIECE IS SO UNDERHYPED. MAYBE ITS THE THEATER KID IN ME BUT DAMN THIS HITS HOME, THE YEARNING IS SO INSTENSE IT HITS ME SO HARD EVERY TIME I READ IT AND I READ IT LIKE. MOST DAYS. OH MY GOD 

not an avocado by @pawprinterfanfic - you’re laughing. i laid in bed with tears running down my face over a fucking purple bronchitis and you’re laughing

Let These Petals Fall Where They May by @wisdomofme - this whole thing is so beautiful and so creative and i literally panicked when i had to write a secret santa gift for this actual goddess. another one that i reread all the time bc it makes me feel just as strongly as i did my first time around

Pearls by @pawprinterfanfic - luke gets his wisdom teeth out and all of the simping just hits full force as it fucking should

Wizard Love by @pearlcaddy and every one shot in the series - i know this list is like the same three authors over and over but. what can i say. we have talent in this fandom

Finally: If you haven’t read any of my works, I have a healthy blend of multichap and oneshots. Here’s the link to my AO3 page!

[romancemoving]

✨ *'ai no senshi' chorus voice* vowing in our hearts, soldiers of love!

01. NAME OR ALIAS : rae / diren. 02. BIRTHDAY :  december 24th 1991. 03. ZODIAC SIGN :  capricorn sun, leo moon, leo rising, scorpio venus. *cue honey cocaine’s ‘ I’M AN ASSHOLE. ’* 04. HEIGHT :  pretty average around 5′7”. if u see me in public taller cuz i wear platforms or super chunky soles most of the time and im too good to wear flat shoes... pretty hos dont wear plain sneakers. 05. HOBBIES :  music!!! listening to it, making it, critiquing it, dissecting it. i just started a rateyourmusic account so im gonna turn into a douchebag real quick. video games, cooking, skincare, makeup, nail art, reading, botany, documentaries, staring at shoes i really like...., roleplaying of courzeee, photography, collecting tacky 90s blouses, watching people argue on reddit. i love drama. what can i say. um... watching wrestling heehee. football. american football. not whatever u europeans are into. obsessing over cars i loooove cars. love lookin at em... love fixin em.... also just studying shit. i know an obscene amount of trivia about things from bizarre country border disputes to metaphysical theories and physics and the like. also ask me what i know about fashion. i know exactly what collection that belt buckle was featured in, in that runway post u reblogged. 06. FAVOURITE COLOUR :  burgundy. :)))!!!! i think........ 07.  FAVOURITE BOOK : ' love warrior ’ by glennon doyle. it’s so honest and gripping..... i rec it if you like nonfiction from people whove been thru it. 08.  FAVOURITE FOOD : bibim guksu, budae jjigae, butter chicken, avocado in everything, blackberries, greek salad!!! lemon pepper wings... i also fuck with diao xiaomian with chili oil!! 09.  LAST FILM / SHOW WATCHED : idk. i think it was ‘ all purpose cultural catgirl nuku nuku ’ lol.

10.  INSPIRATION : virote started off as an oc for a jrpg from a tiny little company u may know called square... ya know, kingdom hearts, etc etc. he was an oc for final fantasy x. he was a summoner, endowed with the gift to save the world. but he failed. mostly everyone he loved was taken from him and his journey was dealing with the aftershock of all of that but then he kinda grew into his own thing of an amalgamation of stuff. 90s pop culture, 2000s pop culture. trashy reality tv. art house films. 80s and 90s anime. some 2000s anime. ive watched so much anime, its fucking stupid. that obscure ova that hasnt had a physical copy since 1994? ive seen it. that weird ecchi one-off with a publisher that has literally no info available? i’ve watched that. manga that was only printed a couple of years around 2005? been there! also just life experiences. i’ve met so many crazy fucking people in my life.... done and seen a lot of crazy shit. never a dull moment in an alabama town where everyones high off their ass on meth! people tell me vi’s pretty real.... ya.... a lot of his experiences are real. down to meeting a guy behind a post office selling cough syrup from the back of his car. down to the bald drug dealer that pedals through the neighborhood on a little bike with a cute bell, wearing socks and sandals. city pop music too..... the magic, the sparkles, the twinkles. the wavy haziness of vaporwave. vi’s just this big, big reference i kinda love that. wish more people got said references. glkfdjglkdf.

11.  STORY BEHIND URL : it’s the from the og lyrics of the iconicccccccc sailor moon theme ‘ moonlight densetsu ’!!!!!!!

the moonlight makes me want to cry i can’t even call, it’s midnight but i’m so innocent, what should i do my heart’s a kaleidoscope

moonlight guides how many time we’ll be reborn counting the twinkling of stars predicting the course of our love because we were born in the same country it’s a miracle romance

a wondrous miracle approaches us we meet by chance again and again the countless shining stars above us foretell love’s whereabouts born on the same earth a miracle romance i do believe in that, a miracle romance.

✨ TAGGED BY: @antigoddex TY! ✨ TAGGING: @emptyvictory @debtwon @tckkis @starfoam @bruisedconscience @oddisms @guttersniper + ummm if u wanna do it ur tagged :),,,,