#I’ve known since I was like 5 that I didn’t want kids and no one has respected that choice my entire life and I’m 32 now

[raeathnos]

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[wood-white-writer]

“Didn’t mean to make your heart Blue” || [1/…]

- OPLA!Buggy x F!Reader

“So, I don’t blame you if you want to bury me in your memories,”

— Mitski, "Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart"

Pairing: Buggy the Clown (Live Action) x F!Reader

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Summary: You were an apprentice of Gol D. Roger’s crew in your youth, long before his eventual demise. Along with the Red-Haired Shanks and Buggy, you were a formidable trio; the embodiment of a new generation of pirates yet to come. But times changed, and so did you and your friends. Years have passed since you last saw Buggy following the dispute that you thought ended your friendship. When you finally reunite with the blue-haired menace you once considered your closest friend, it’s under less than “friendly” circumstances.

Warnings: Fem!Reader, Canon Typical Violence, Slight Canon Divergence, Buggy is an asshole, The reader used to go by "Cross-Hairs" in the past.

A/N: I’m basing this primarily on the LA! version of “One Piece”, as I’ve just recently begun to watch the Anime.

Luffy, for his unyielding devotion towards his dreams of becoming the King of Pirates, evidently lacks the sense of foresight required of a pirate to successfully navigate the seven seas. Then again, it's nothing new.

You’ve always known. The kid's been a hazard to society even in his youth; no filter between his brain and his mouth despite the ungodly amount of food he pushes between his jaws. You used to watch him make his proclamations in front of Shanks' merry band with little more than vaguely piqued interest, indifferent to the youthful albeit naive optimism he exhibited.

Shanks, meanwhile, always used to find his demeanor endearing - “He’s a good kid. Let him dream,”

And so you let him. You watched him dream for the next ten years, making sure that his dreams didn't catch the wrong kind of attention until he was old enough to hold his own weight.

However, back then, Luffy's actions seldom warranted any real consequences. Save for the incident with the Bandit and the Sea King, he's rarely been in any real danger prior to his debut as a pirate.

An unruly child spouting declarations of desiring to become the next “King of Pirates” hardly would’ve caused more of a ripple effect than to make other people shake their heads and laugh. And if it did, you were there to make sure it didn’t.

Now, not only has his actions earned you the ire of the Marines by stealing the Map of the Grand Line, but it has also garnered the attention of other opponents. Far more dangerous ones than the likes of Alvida or even that Axe-Hand Moron.

It was only a matter of time.

So when you find yourself waking up in a wooden cage with the rest of your reluctant crew mates, accompanied by a head-throbbing headache at that, your first instinct is to heave an exasperated sigh.

"Goddamn it."

"Oh, you're up." It's Luffy. He looks unharmed, albeit disoriented, not too unlike yourself. "How're you feeling?"

"Like I just snorted a bottle of rum through my nostrils." You get up into a crouching position, eying your surroundings, which doesn't leave much up for inspection considering your cage consists of broad wide planks. "What the fuck happened?"

The last thing you recall before being knocked out was a Jolly Roger in the distance, too far away for you to make out properly. So, not Marines, but pirates.

You can't tell if that's a good or a bad thing.

"Think we wouldn't have told you if we knew?" The swordsman - Zoro - replies with a deadpan look of boredom on his face as he attempts to peek through the cracks in your confinement. You have half a mind to tell him where to shove it but opt for a more quiet approach.

It's during moments like these when you realize you actually miss that scrawny pink-haired kid with the glasses - Koby. He never spoke to you like this. Granted, he was probably intimidated by the way you were always hovering behind Luffy like a silent guardian, but he didn't provide unnecessary comments like Bounty Hunter over there does.

Small blessings and all that. Very small.

You provide a solid kick to the plank on Zoro's right side without warning, catching him off-guard and earning you a short-lived glare. The planks loosen considerably, probably not meant to contain you for long.

Meanwhile, you listen half-heartedly to Luffy and Nami as they discuss the potential identities of your captors.

"They're not marines," Luffy assures her. "Before I got knocked out, I saw a Jolly Roger. We've been captured by pirates."

You glance at him from over your shoulder. "What'd it look like?"

"I don't know, it looked ... like ..." he pauses in thought. "A skull with crossbones, and a red ... dot? It almost looked like a nose, if bones could have noses, but they don't."

The blood in your veins freezes up, as does the rest of your body until their voices blur into nothing.

You've been keeping occasional track of him in the years that's passed since you parted ways, and when he amounted to a considerable bounty on his head, his signature Jolly Roger was hard not to miss on his wanted posters.

-------

"I didn't know there were so many pirates."

You tilt your head at the wall decorated with various wanted posters of different pirates, some more torn and discoloured than others, some more dead than others. You can't find your own amongst them in Shells Town, but then again, it has been some time since last you were on the Marines' radar. More likely than not, your poster is hidden somewhere underneath the several layers of—

"Hey, there's yours!" Luffy damn-near exclaims in wonder and points at— Oh yeah, there it is, right above Foxy's poster, a little yellow around the edges but still holding strong.

WANTED Dead or Alive "Cross-Hairs" 25,000,000

"Oh, wow, a 25-million bounty. That's a lot of berries."

The image is well over a decade old, taken back in your early twenties, and you were much more easy to identify back then. You were sharper in some angles, softer in others, compared to the present.

You look different now. Less robust, a little older, but no less dangerous in the grand scheme of things. Your sharp eyes remain the same, a trait Gol D. used to remark upon with a mischievous glimmer in his own eyes.

"You have eyes sharp enough to cut through steele," he'd say and ruffle your hair. A sense of loss perforating your being at the memory.

Despite being in your thirties, age tends to alter the appearance of most people, and you consider that a pretty good advantage right about now as you're standing surrounded by an army of Marine officers. Given the fact that you've spent the last couple of years away from the sea without a trace or clue, the World Government probably assumes you've died or gone into hiding.

Be that as it may, they didn't even bother to decrease the bounty since last time. How odd.

While Luffy spends a few moments admiring your old picture like a child that just learned their relative is some kind of famous celebrity, Koby is less than enthralled by this revelation.

"T-That's one of the highest bounties in the East-Blue." He is hesitant to look up at you. "What did ... What did you do to earn it?"

"A little here, a little there. Kicked a few asses, stole a bit of treasure along the way. Nothing too bad." You admit with a half-assed shrug as you continue to inspect the various posters.

For the boy's peace of mind, you won't go into the less ... child-friendly details regarding your reputation. About the way you used to fight to the blood with most of your opponents, Marines and pirates in equal measure. How you'd stand victorious atop a pile of broken limbs and pleading sounds from the defeated crowd.

"Yeah, yeah ..." Koby agrees with a feeble nod. "There are way worse pirates on the Grand Line."

Your gaze happens upon a particular wanted poster, and your demeanor stiffens. Not enough to notice from an ordinary point of view, but it does nonetheless.

His sharp cerulean eyes and bright red nose seem to mock you from his picture, and a heavy feeling settles in your heart. A feeling of hurt and betrayal you've long since thought abandoned in the corners of your heart. Not even the loss of your old captain could hope to compare to it

You snap back to Luffy, your voice a little strained as you speak though you desperately try to cover it up. "Are we done here, Luffy?"

------

It's your fucking luck it had to be him of all people to come after Luffy first.

Why him?

Fuuuuuu—

"We don't need to fight." Luffy's voice snaps you back to the present. "I can talk to them, pirate to pirate."

"Not with this one," you whisper more to yourself than anyone else. The only one who seems to catch onto this is Zoro, but the moment he opens his mouth to ask, Nami beats him to it.

A discussion regarding the duality of piracy quickly causes you to lose all interest in the following sequence.

You don't trust either the thief or the bounty hunter as far as you can throw them, and the feeling is mutual in both parts. Sure, they proved useful in getting rid of the Axe-Hand, and have had thus far been tolerable enough for you not to throw them overboard.

Still, Zoro recognized you on the spot where the Marines failed to, and though Nami doesn't, your status as a pirate is enough reason for her to distrust you.

As mentioned, you don't trust them, but Luffy does, and his lead is the only one you'll follow. This is his voyage, and you’re not here to keep him from making mistakes unless you consider them particularly vital. If this bites him in the end, then you'll be there to keep him afloat.

After all, you made a promise to your old red-haired friend.

"Look after the lad for me, will you? Help him achieve his dream."

With no patience left to wait to get the fuck out of here as quickly as possible, you prepare to kick through the planks. Just then, the top piece of your confinements unfold, and what you're greeted with is the pinpoint definiton of a fever dream on acid.

Tightrope walkers swinging in the air, acrobatics performing acts of impressive feats, someone fire-breathing, and-- was that a guy juggling on a unicycle passing you just now?

A circus troupe. You've been captured by a fucking circus troupe.

"Oh, what the actual fuck?" Is all you can manage to mutter, a sentiment Zoro surprisingly agrees with if the nod he adds serves as any indication.

The troupe has an audience, you come to observe in the distance. They're clapping and cheering on cue with the sign being held in the air, yet they look ... wrong. Forced. Puppets with strings embedded in their limbs, so to speak.

You narrow your eyes in distaste at the view. The hell has he been up to as of late?

In the midst of the enforced round of applause, a voice gradually makes itself more and more prominent through the masses. Deeper and huskier since last you heard it, but yet painfully known to your ears.

"No, no, no, NO! Stop clapping!"

And then he appears. The ringleader himself, exasperated as he throws his arms out to each side and effectively silencing the crowd.

"No, stop! This is all wrong!"

You momentarily forget to breathe as you watch him come into view from behind the audience. He's taller than the last you saw him, that's for damn certain. Must've hit a second growth spurt in your absence because, while you were relatively on equal foot in your youth, he now seems to have grown a head or so taller than yourself.

And like yourself, he's changed, and not inherently for the better. It's a relative statement considering that the life of a pirate is oftentimes a hard one, but it's a fact nonetheless. The years have not been any kinder to him than they've been for yourself. He still has the same hair, the same general appearance, but he's changed.

Out of the three of you, Shanks seems to have had it the easiest in recent years, appearance-wise. He never lost his smile or affinity for the brighter things in life, even when he had his damn arm chewed off.

Meanwhile, you lost your dreams, and he seems to have lost everything you recognized about him in your youth. His smile, his laughter, and even his stance had been replaced by some replica that fails to hold a candle to the original one.

This is a show master, not your friend. Then again, you haven't been friends for a long time now.

Still, changed as he may be from an outward point of view, Buggy's eyes have not. They're clear like the seas, just as they were long ago. (And his nose, of course. How could you forget?).

You can't tell if that's a relief yet.

You're not a fearful person by nature, having lost the distinct ability years ago. Now, however, you feel the tremors vibrating through your ribcage at the sight of him. That's why you decide to turn your face slightly to the side for now, hoping to prolong the inevitable.

Fortunately, your presence evades Buggy's notice for just a while longer as he berates his crew. "The spotlight was late! You completely missed my entrance!"

The sound of said spotlight changing its focus can be heard.

"And where, oh where, was the dancing lion?"

Good! While he's occupied, maybe you can find the right moment to grab Luffy and get the hell--

"Hey! I know you! I saw your wanted poster in Shells Town!"

... You want to dig a hole in the sand and bury yourself right about now.

"You're the clown guy! Uhm ... Binky, right?"

Buggy, you scream inside as you suppress the urge to yank Luffy by the shoulders and shake him until all of his limbs drop down on the ground. Fuck Shanks and fuck the promise. He's Buggy the fucking Clown, and you did not have to go out of your way to pinpoint that fact!

In your internal state of dismay, you settle with trying to locate potential escape routes. Maybe a hole in the walls of the tent, or an absent-minded guard by the entrance. You're stronger than most, with years of experience behind you, but you're not capable of fighting your way through a crowd with three tagalongs so seamlessly.

"Buggy," the man of the hour states as he approaches, still having failed to notice you. "Buggy the Clown."

No one says anything, which he takes as a sign to continue on with - what you personally regard - as a moronic long line of titles.

"Buggy, the Flashy Fool." Still nothing. He raises his arms, like a lost puppy begging for scraps of recognition. "Buggy, the Genius Jester."

Seriously, what's with him and all the names? He’s always been … overdramatic, but this cuts the cake even for him.

"Wow," Luffy seems genuinely impressed, a stark contrast to his companions, who would rather be anywhere than here. "You have a lot of names. I bet everyone in the East Blue knows who you are."

A range of gasps echo from the unwilling audience, and you finally snap your head to the front in alarm. Fuck, he couldn't have used a better word than that. Granted, Luffy didn't mean it in that context, or even that word, but it doesn't matter.

Another thing that hasn't changed about Buggy... And that very same thing might as well be what snaps him out of his theatric act.

You thought Buggy finally would've noticed you by now, seeing it as you're finally willing to face him, but his eyes remain eerily glued to the kid.

"What did you just say?" Buggy asks, calmly.

Way too calmly for your liking.

Oh, no.

Luffy blinks in confusion. "Just that everyone knows who you are?"

You notice the clown lunging before Luffy does.

In the span of a second, you plant yourself between them, the only barrier between him and the clown's rage. You don't move an inch even as Buggy closes in with his gloved hand outstretched towards the boy, having not yet registered your sudden appearance until his fingers are inches from your face.

Your eyes finally lock, the blue in his eyes more prominent now than ever. Almost two decades since the last time you saw each other, and Buggy ceases his attempted assault as though time itself freezes.

At first, there is nothing in his eyes but surprise. Anger. Maybe even a trace of admiration towards the one who dared stand against him. Hot and burning beneath his irises, like glowing embers left behind in a dying pyre.

Finally, there is recognition, and the fire reignites warmer and scorching more than ever before.

He doesn't say anything at first, and neither do you, but the glare in your eyes conveys the message loudly enough that even the performers and troupe members alike know not to interfere.

"Leave him be."

You think of what to say, what you can say, after years of being silent. A simple “Hi” will not suffice, and considering the way of which you parted, there is little room for confessions.

Then, Buggy begins to laugh.

It starts out as a whisper of a chuckle, then gradually develops until he's full-out holding his stomach in wheezes, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes and smudging his make-up.

He points his arm up as he tries to contain himself, and the guy holding the APPLAUSE-sign picks up on the subliminal message. Everyone in the place begins to laugh, both the captives and the captors, so loudly this time that it makes you feel small in a way you haven’t felt since you were a child.

You glance cautiously around yourself, sharing brief looks with your companions before the noises abruptly stop, having most likely been forced to do so.

When you look back at Buggy again, he's smiling wider than ever, but his eyes hold no genuine humor. No, there's an unidentifiable emotion swirling in the depths of his blue eyes that you fail to decipher before he speaks.

"Well, well, well! Isn't this an unexpected surprise?" He raises his arm to gesture to you, as if you're an exotic exhibition behind a display case for everyone to behold. The spotlight is now aimed at you, momentarily blinding your vision.

"Ladies and gentlemen! It is my honor to present to you, the one and only, the myth, the legendary 'Cross-Hairs'! The Beast of the East!"

Applause rings again in the air as Buggy continues.

"She was famous throughout all of East Blue for her many endeavors, with a bounty greater than even yours flashy truly." Admitting that fact looks like it physically hurt him, but he prevails. "And then, almost ten years ago, after her biggest heist yet, she just POOFS!" He snaps his fingers and lets them slowly decline for dramatic effect. "Vanishes out of the blue. Leaving the seas for an unforeseen amount of time."

It would seem like you were keeping track of each other all along.

The next words Buggy utters are so hushed that only you hear them, and his smile is gone.

"Then again, you do have a track-record of leaving things behind, haven’t you?"

Oh, the fucking nerve of this guy. You take a step forward, clenching and unclenching you jaw so much your teeth feel on the bring of cracking. How dare he? How fucking dare he?

You’re about to shout back at him, argue, throwing every caution to the wind just to correct him and scream:

("You're the one who left me, remember?")

Before you can, something taps your right shoulder. Thinking it's Luffy, you turn around, and the last thing you recall before it all fades to black is an air of red dust clouding your vision.

[klaus-littlestwolf]

I wanted to write a different kind of Alpha!Klaus x Omega and this idea has been kicking around in my head for a while.

Summary: Klaus’ father has been trying to get him for years, not wanting his son to go through the shift the first time alone but Esther always made it impossible. Now he is a werewolf being moved in with his father and his pack-a pack that every member but him has grown up in. As an Alpha and a new wolf he needs to figure out how to survive. He tries to do as his father tells him but once Klaus stumbles across the Omega that he was told to stay away from…it may all be over for him…

If you would have told Klaus 2 weeks ago that he was a werewolf thanks to his father that he had never met he would have laughed in your face.

And yet here he stands, having been moved out of his mother and step fathers home and into his real fathers house on a plot of land in the middle of nowhere.

Klaus didn’t have a problem with getting out of his abusive step fathers home of course. It sucked leaving his siblings but he can talk to them whenever he wants and he won’t have to live his life in fear of Mikael all the time. No, the main problem was moving into a werewolf pack full of people who had known what they were since birth while he has to figure it all out since his mother refused to let him even speak to his father before everything went wrong.

He had turned on his 18th birthday like every other wolf, but did he know that? Of course not, because his mother refused to let him meet his father who had been begging to know his son for years. Klaus had to give him credit, he had tried, but his mother was…his mother. If she didn’t want something to happen it wouldn’t.

And so the anger built inside of him months before his first turn and though he tried to control it, it was the cause of him finally hitting Mikael back and hospitalizing him. His mother buried it to keep their business private like always but then he turned for the first time and while he had gotten out of the house, he was left alone in the woods and in agony not knowing what was happening until his father found him already in his wolf form. He had come for him, after everything he had still tried to take care of him and it meant everything to Klaus. His fathers presence was calming during his change and it went a bit easier before spending the rest of the night on all fours.

Ansel had removed Klaus from his home immediately and he had enough credits to graduate early, so he took his son home where he now needed to live with the pack that he never knew existed but had always known him. Wolves growing up outside the pack wasn’t normal, in fact it was unheard of and he got many stares as his father drove through the settlement they had built here which was rather cozy honestly.

‘Don’t worry Klaus, everything will be alright. You’re safe here, and they’ll get over the staring, I promise.’ Ansel spoke as he helped him move the rest of his things into his room.

‘I’ve just never been the new kid before. It’s weird, in the weirdest way possible.’ He was unsure of how the others would treat him honestly.

Klaus had found out when he turned back that not only was he the freak who had grown up outside of the pack, but he was also an Alpha. His father was the Alpha of the pack, and though he had elders that assisted him in managing everything and making decisions it all came down to him in the end.

Alphas were rare, most of the pack is made up of Betas as all packs are. There were only 2 other Alphas around his age here and he knew it would make him even weirder. The only designation that was rarer still was Omegas, of which there were only 2 in the entire pack. One was a married mother of 5 and the other was a 17 year old girl that his father told him to stay away from as she already has 2 Alphas vying for her affections and adding another would be very overwhelming to her.

Klaus felt for her, he couldn’t imagine what she felt like but he knew what he felt like right now and it wasn’t fun.

‘Why don’t you go look around, get yourself used to the place. It’s not too big but it’ll take you a minute, and it’ll be good for you to get out. Your safe place has always been the woods for a reason kiddo.’ His father ruffled his hair as he walked passed making Klaus feel like a child but he was right. When he needed to get away the woods is where he went to draw or paint, sometimes just sit and think for hours.

‘Okay. Why not? Nothing better to do and I might as well get the staring over with.’ He rolled his eyes, pulling his boots on and walking back out of the house. The houses were all spread out he noted, giving everyone ample space which was quite nice. He knew the pack was very well off and they got everything they needed delivered every week, his father having promised to get him whatever art supplies he needed.

As he walked through the place every person he saw stopped talking or working to look at him, a few nice enough to wave but most just…staring. It was very uncomfortable and it was making him feel suffocated. As he walked passed the town hall there were about a dozen men outside who were joking loudly before one of them pointed at him, everyone stopping all at once to look at him and this time it was all too much.

Klaus sped up his pace and turned down a path into the trees, running as soon as no one could see him anymore and he kept running until his tight chest became too much and he tripped over his own feet. He pushed his back against a tree as his vision blurred slightly, he was gasping for breath that felt like it would never come and his head became dizzy. It felt like he sat there like that for hours before seeing a blurry shape of someone in front of him, their voice sounding a million miles away…until he smelled that lovely scent. It was like the sky after it stormed and wild berries, it settled in his chest and gave him enough to focus on that he began to hear the voice more clearly.

‘It’s okay, just keep breathing. Put your head between your knees!’ The voice was demanding but also soft and he enjoyed it a lot as he did as she said. Someone was hugging him tightly and it was amazing as nails scratched against his scalp and his breathing slowed. ‘There you go sweetie, just keep doing that. You’re safe, not a thing to worry about. Safe…’

‘Thank you…I’m s-sorry…’ he mumbled and she shushed him before he nuzzled closer to her causing her to freeze but as he just held close to her she seemed to relax.

‘Do you feel better now?’ He nodded, sitting up straight and taking a breath.

‘Thank you…I don’t know what…’ he sighed as he didn’t know what to say before looking over at her and feeling his breath stolen again.

‘You were having a panic attack, it’s nothing to be sorry about. I’m sure everyone staring at you endlessly wasn’t a very comfortable situation, they do it to me all the time so I get it. You must be Niklaus, I would like to formally apologize for my pack. We don’t get outsiders around here and a pack member outsider is even weirder. They’ll get used to you quick, and you’ll get it too, I promise it won’t be that bad.’

‘Thanks…it’s better than living with my mother and step father, that’s for sure…you can call me Klaus by the way, or Nik if you want. What should I call you?’ He inquired and she smiled.

‘I’m Y/n, it’s a pleasure to meet you.’ She shook his hand making them both chuckle before he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

‘You smell really nice…is that a weird thing to say?’ Her eyes widened a bit and she blushed.

‘Not really…you can tell you’re not from here though. Alphas are all cocky but not many of them have the guts to tell an Omega she smells good as if it’s not obvious.’ Now it was his turn to look shocked. Klaus thought back to what his father had said and he jumped up instantly startling her.

‘I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to-to bother you. I-I’m gonna go back to-fuck!’ He turned to walk back up the path quickly when his hand was caught and he felt a tingle up his arm that was wonderful.

‘Hey! You aren’t bothering me Nik, why would you think that?’ She looked a bit hurt and he felt bad, not wanting her to think he didn’t like her but also not knowing what to do in this situation.

‘No, I was just-my father…said to stay away from the Omega-he said you were already overwhelmed with 2 assholes who won’t leave you alone and he didn’t want me to make it worse. Which I thought would be easy cause I don’t even know what the fuck that means! And now I’ve done the one thing I was told not to and-‘ he stopped as he saw her staring at him as if she were annoyed.

‘He told you to stay away?’ Klaus nodded. ‘As if I’m not a smart enough Omega to make my own choice?! As if I can’t decide who I want my mate to be without the Alpha telling his son that he’s not an option when he has just as much of a right to be?! Fuck That! If you want to be near me you can and he doesn’t get to say anything about it. It’s one of the very few things he doesn’t have a say in…come with me!’ She demanded, taking his hand and walking back up the path quickly.

‘I feel that I’ve upset you and I very much didn’t mean to, I’m-‘

‘You have done nothing wrong Nik. As an Omega I get to choose between whatever Alphas want to be my mate. That means if you are drawn to me and I smell good to you, you want to be near me then you can and no one can interfere with that and the fact that your father tried is against our laws and honestly quite insulting!’ She raged, still dragging him through town now, everyone watching again.

‘You do smell good, like really good and you’re comforting. I like being with you but I’m starting to think that everyone thinks you’re dragging me back to my house to have me killed like I just tried to jump you in the woods…’ as he said that she stopped and looked around at everyone who was staring and rolled her eyes.

‘Stop staring at him! You’re freaking him out! Give him a chance to get settled, for fucks sake!’ She yelled this at a group of large grown men and they all had the intelligence to look terrified, going back to work at chopping wood which they already had a monstrous pile of. Y/n continued pulling him along until they got back to his house where she pounded on the door angrily and didn’t stop until his father opened the door.

‘Oh shit…what did he do?’ She scoffed, looking ready to hit him out right but Klaus thought that might be against the laws here, assaulting your Alpha.

‘He didn’t do anything. You did! How dare you tell him that he’s not allowed to see me, that he needs to stay away from me! As if I can’t choose my Alpha for myself, as if I’m too fucking stupid to make my own decision!’

‘No, Y/n, I didn’t mean to-‘

‘It doesn’t matter your intentions! You had no right to deny Klaus or myself a chance at that! Whether he grew up here or not, whether I hate being followed around by Tyler and Matt or not! It’s not your place and you know it!’ She was pissed and while he thought he should be uncomfortable with this, he was actually quite turned on by it. She’s hot when she’s mad.

‘You are right. Completely right and I apologize, I didn’t mean to interfere, I was more nervous that he would do something insulting without knowing it and end up with those two idiots jumping him. I’m sorry.’ Klaus had never seen his father nervous but clearly an angry Omega was not something anyone wanted, Alphas and Betas alike.

‘Let them try, I will fuck them up! Come on Nik, I’m hungry. Let’s go get some lunch.’ He loved how she kept his hand tightly in hers as she turned around to leave again. He turned his head to smile at his father who winked down at him with his own smirk before closing the door and leaving them both walking back towards the town, turning up a different path and taking him into a large house. ‘Hey mom. This is Klaus, can he stay for lunch?’

‘Of course! It’s so nice to finally meet you, your father has been trying to get you here for a long time.’ By the women’s soft smell Klaus assumed she was the other Omega his father had mentioned and she smelled lovely. Nothing like his Omega however, she smelled almost floral and motherly.

‘Thank you, it’s a pleasure to meet you, I hope I’m not imposing. She just said “let’s go get lunch”.’ He chuckled awkwardly but she patted his shoulder.

‘We always make plenty, lots of people eat with us here and we make meals for the older pack members as well. Come on in.’ He was sat on a couch beside Y/n and there was a few kids playing on the floor making him smile.

‘They’re cute but they’re annoying as fuck.’ She stated and he just snorted.

‘My littlest brother is 5, trust me, I know. I guess it’s different when they’re your own.’ He shrugged before her mother brought them both a large helping of chicken and pasta drenched in vodka sauce and parmesan cheese. ‘This smells incredible!’

‘Thank you sweetie. I hope you like it.’

‘I haven’t had a home cooked meal in…I don’t know how long.’ He admitted, more to himself than anything but Y/n had heard him.

‘Really? Why is that? What does your mom do?’ He shrugged.

‘Nothing really. She’s a rich wife, hires help to raise the kids and clean the house while Mikael works. She does her Pilates and book club and shopping with her friends.’ Klaus was practically scarfing down the food now and Y/n put her hand on his shoulder.

‘No one is going to take that from you, it’s all yours Nik. You can have seconds too, thirds if you want. Seriously, this is a wolf pack, we eat like nobodies business, my mom makes a lot of food and you can eat all you want. Please don’t choke?’ He was startled by that but chewed a bit slower.

‘Sorry…I suppose I still need to get used to not being home…my step father would take food away when I did something wrong pretty often.’ Y/n shook her head instantly.

‘You don’t need to be sorry for that. That’s fucked up…you will always have food here.’ He believed her, enjoying her treatment as she raked her nails along his scalp as he ate slower now.

‘Thank you. That feels wonderful.’ He admitted, rumbling out a pleased sound before leaning closer to her, her scent somehow improving which he didn’t think was possible. ‘Fuck, you smell fantastic!’ She blushed a dark shade as he nuzzled closer into her neck and she allowed it, seeming quite comfortable with it.

‘Thank you. You smell really good too…like heavy pine trees and paint…I don’t want to overwhelm you when you’re still getting used to being here. I don’t want you to have to figure out your feelings for an Omega when you already have to get used to being a wolf-‘

‘Don’t tell me that you want me to leave, please? I don’t think I could do that right now…’ he growled, the snarling beast in his head refusing to leave this girl even if Klaus wanted to which he most assuredly does not.

‘I don’t want you to leave. You’re the first Alpha whose affections I enjoy, you’re not rude and pushy, and I like taking care of you. I just don’t want to make it harder on you or make you enemies here by being around you.’ Klaus was confused by that.

‘Enemies? Those other Alphas, they can’t just accept that you would choose someone else…if you did of course, I’m not making assumptions on-‘ Y/n cut him off, pressing her lips to his and it felt perfect for the both of them. The kiss was everything, Klaus found excitement in it but also complete comfort at being in her arms and Y/n found her wolf purring at the idea of her mate holding her close and also felt a huge wave of safety and protection in his embrace as his arms wound around her.

‘Alphas don’t take losing very well. They would be in some pretty big trouble if they hurt you but I don’t think it would stop them and I don’t want-‘

‘Shh, it’s alright.’ Klas had this overwhelming urge to calm her worries, he wanted to protect her and make her feel safe. His wolf pushed him to let her know that she is protected and he did, kissing her head and handing her back her bowl of food. ‘Eat love, there’s nothing for you to worry about Omega.’ Klaus had no clue where calling her that came from but her eyes lit up and she seemed to love it so he let it go.

‘But Tyler and Matt are-‘

‘From what I can deduce, idiots, and if they want to jump me they can. All it’s going to do is show everyone how good a choice you made not being with morons. I haven’t even met them yet and I already know they’re stupid. Relax.’ He kissed her forehead before going back to eating once she did.

Y/n’s mother had been listening in, not yet trusting the new boy around her daughter. An Alpha that is new to his change can be a bit volatile and unpredictable so she was worried, though she quickly realized that she didn’t need to be. Niklaus was a perfect gentleman and even with of his new instincts and feelings he was protecting and looking out for her Omega daughter. He would make a good Alpha of the pack one day, though she kept that to herself for now. She was sure to tell everyone about Klaus and Y/n bonding, wanting them to know what a kind and caring boy the Alphas son really was, as well as wanting the pack to watch out for her daughter and soon to be son in law.

Klaus spent every day with Y/n from then on. He never wanted to be without her and it seemed like she didn’t either. Everyone became accustomed to seeing them around together until Tyler and Matt had to ruin it.

Klaus was walking down the path early in the morning towards Y/n’s house for their early morning ritual, enjoying breakfast in her room before going back to sleep snuggled up together for a few hours every morning. It was their habit and no one minded, Klaus’ father happy that his son was doing so well at courting an Omega despite being so new and Y/n’s parents loving to see their Omega daughter not feeling pressured and creeped out by an Alpha for the first time in her life.

When Klaus didn’t arrive on time though she was worried, she knew something was wrong as Klaus had never once made her wait and so she pulled on her shoes before walking outside to go to his house. Before she got to the town however she heard both angry and pain filled growls making her turn to find all 3 of the Alphas that have been trying to gain her favor in an all out brawl.

‘What The Fuck?!’ She snapped and they all froze, looking up to reveal their bloody faces instantly. ‘You 2 idiots think it’s okay to assault the Alphas new son just because I’ve been spending time with him?’

‘You’ve been spending all day every day with him Y/n! You have to give us some time to try and win you over, just wanted him to be in bed for a few days.’ Matt explained, the softer one of the pair not wanting to upset you but also not wanting to lose the chance at an Omega.

‘He just got here! He shouldn’t be in the running for your mate at all! He has no clue how to care for an Omega! He can go find himself a little Beta bitch to mate with and leave my girl alone!’ Tyler growled, shoving Klaus who glared back but didn’t move.

‘I am not your girl, and you know not to call me that! And you know what? You’ve been an ass since the day I presented as if you thought I had no choice but you and honestly, I would rather be alone than have you as an Alpha! You will never be my mate! You’re cruel Tyler, I don’t like that about you but even worse, your cocky attitude is such a turn off. I choose Klaus.’

‘You can’t do that!’ He raged, glaring at you, eyes fully black in his rage.

‘I can and I am. If Klaus wants me as his Omega then I will accept him, do you know why? Because he didn’t care what I was, he likes me for me, being an Omega is just a plus for him.’ She moved to help Klaus stand, pulling a twig from his hair and brushing the dirt off of him, careful not to hurt him as she didn’t know where he was bruised besides his bloody nose and split lip.

‘Are you sure? I’m still getting used to this, I don’t want to do something wrong…’ Klaus admitted but she could see how happy he really was.

‘I want you Niklaus…if you want me that is…I know I’m kind of needy and bitchy and a bit too emotional but I really-‘ Klaus cut her off, leaning down and pressing his lips to hers sweetly.

‘You are perfect. I love how much you need me, I enjoy watching you scare everyone and you’re allowed to be emotional Princess…Mine.’ He rumbled deeply in his chest which was a new noise for him but he enjoyed how much his Omega loved it. ‘Let’s get you home, breakfast and a bit of a longer nap today are needed I think.’ He declared and she nodded, taking his hand and moving to follow him before she was suddenly grabbed from behind, the tight grip hurting her sensitive skin as Tyler dug his claws into her sides. ‘Let her go!’ Nik warned but as he stepped closer Y/n cried out in pain from his claws sinking deeper.

‘You don’t get to just wander in here and have whatever you want because you’re the Alphas son! I’ve been after her for years and you take her in 4 fuckin days?! No! She’s mine and I will mark her myself!’ He smirked, leaning down to her ear to talk directly to her now. ‘How long is your perfect Alpha boy gonna want you then? Huh?’ Tyler’s fangs were out and he shoved her head to the side roughly making her cry out as he bent it painfully.

‘She doesn’t want you so you’re going to force her to take you? Spend the rest of your lives knowing she never wanted you and you had to force yourself onto a sweet little Omega just to get a girl? You’re fucking pathetic!’ Nik laughed, causing Tyler’s grip to tighten. He could hear people arriving around them now, clearly concerned including Y/n’s parents who were growling at the idiot holding their daughter. ‘You’re going to take her and do it in front of everyone so they all know that you need to force yourself onto a girl just to get someone to love you. You’ll go down in the packs history as the worlds most unlovable Alpha, that’s funny. I like that!’ Klaus laughed.

‘Klaus-‘ Y/n’s mother tried to stop him as Tyler got more and more angry.

‘You know what? Go ahead Tyler, if an idiot like you is this desperate for her then she can’t be worth much of anything at all-‘ and that was Tyler’s last straw as he shoved Y/n away and lunged for Klaus who was waiting for him, taking him to the ground before Klaus flipped them over and began beating his face in. ‘Fucking Asshole! If you ever touch her again I will kill you! I’ll! Fucking! Kill! You!’ He raged as he continued beating the boy. No one intervened, knowing that Y/n had clearly agreed to be Klaus’ Omega was enough, an Alpha killing a man who harms his Omega is a right by law and so if he wanted Tyler dead, then Tyler would die. ‘Think you can mark my Omega by force?! I’m gonna break every bone in your body!’ Klaus’ hands were around his throat as he choked the Alpha when he suddenly felt a soft hand on his shoulder.

‘Alpha? You can stop now…’

‘He hurt you-‘

‘I know, but you saved me…just want my Alpha to hold me now…you’re gonna mark me and he’ll never be able to touch me again.’ Klaus eased his grip, taking a deep breath and smelling nothing but her soft scent. She pushed herself between them as Tyler collapsed and Nik sat back on his knees, pulling her to his chest.

‘I’m gonna get you dirty Omega, you shouldn’t be dirty-‘

‘Shh…it’s okay Alpha. You’ll let your Omega clean you up, won’t you? Come.’ She pulled him up and allowed several men to come and get Tyler to move him to the Healers. Y/n led Klaus back to her house, her parents were just ahead of them and moved to open the door. Y/n’s mother checked to make sure they were fine before she led him to her bedroom where she shut the door behind them and sat him on the large bed.

‘I’m sorry…I can’t-‘

‘Shh. It’s okay Alpha, you protected me so good, even after getting hit in the head Gods know how many times.’ She pointed out as she pulled his shirt over his head and exposed his chest to her eyes for the first time. She did not expect to be so pleased at seeing all of his lean muscle, wondering how easy it would be for him to throw her around like a rag doll. ‘You’re alright now, and so am I. Now it’s your Omegas turn to take care of you. Just relax.’ She took hold of a pack of baby wipes that she had and began wiping the blood from his face gently, cleaning his head as well before taking a shirt that she had stolen from him to put into her nest, pulling it over his head. Klaus couldn’t control the snarl as he smelled her so close like this, a shirt that had been in her nest smelling so strongly of her was now on him and he yanked it back off quickly. ‘I’m sorry! It’s all I had and-‘ Klaus cut her off, pressing his lips to hers and feeling his eyes roll into his head before pulling away.

‘Come here, Omega. Your Alpha is gonna snuggle you all day long now. No one will bother us, just me and you.’ He somehow managed to lift her up and move the both of them to her nest (of which he had the privilege of being in now) to strip her down to her panties and bra. ‘You are so fucking beautiful.’

‘He almost took me from you Alpha.’ Y/n whispered as he pulled the blanket over her.

‘But he didn’t-‘

‘He could have…do…do you want me to be your Omega? You don’t have to-‘

‘Mine! All mine Omega! I may not be the most well versed in our laws and rules but I love you and you are mine now. I will do anything I have to to ensure that you are safe and happy…and mine.’ Klaus swore, kissing her head and holding her to him completely, unsure how to make her feel better before he moved to shut the bedroom door for the night and turn off the lights, deciding to stay in with her after the events of the day.

‘Mark me!’ She demanded and he froze, not moving as his brain caught up while trying to process that request.

‘Y/n, you’re mine. We’ve agreed, you are to be my Omega. I can hear your parents on the phone with my father right now talking about the celebration for us. We don’t need to rush into anything before-‘

‘What if Tyler tries again and you’re not there? I want to be yours Alpha!’

‘You are mine! Nothing will take you away again-‘

‘Yes they will!’ Y/n snapped and Klaus paused, looking back from the door and coming back to the nest instantly.

‘Omega-‘

‘No!’ She snapped, looking away from him, her eyes glazed over. ‘I see the way they look at me…not all of them of course but the other single Alphas. They want me Nik…they think about what it would be like…to touch me…fuck me…force me full of their pups knowing I could never do anything to stop it.’ Klaus was instantly filled with rage and he held her so hard he briefly thought he may be hurting her but he needed to hold her right now and he believed she needed that too.

‘Y/n, I will never let them do that to you. The wedding will be sometime next week, I’ll stay right here with you every night and be by your side all the time.’ Y/n moved to straddle him to make him look at her.

‘I know you want to do it right, you still feel like an outsider, I get it but something is going to happen Nik, please? Please?’ Her voice cracked as the tears began falling and he felt panicked. ‘I need you to do this for me, I’ll tell your father that I begged you but I can hear my wolf in my head and she’s never wrong Nik…if you don’t do this then I’ll never be your Omega…’ her admission threw him and he didn’t like it at all, scoffing in disbelief.

‘So if I don’t break tradition, something I’ve been told is sacred, then you’re not going to be my mate anymore-‘

‘No! Something bad is going to happen Nik, please? Please?! I’m begging you, I want it to be you! You’re my person…please believe me?’

Klaus considered her words for a moment before sighing. He knew that if his wolf said something that he was always right so he would trust his mates wolf as well and just take the heat. ‘Relax your muscles and just hold onto me.’ He instructed, bending her head to the side to expose her neck and licking over his sharpened fangs, tasting the venom dripping from them slowly before sinking them into her soft flesh on her neck. She hissed in pain, clutching his hair and pulling tightly as she whimpered, Nik scratching his claws up and down her back.

‘Thank you…my Alpha.’

Later that night the newly mated couple was sound asleep and completely oblivious to the window being pushed open.

The figure that slid through the window was completely silent as he stepped towards the nest, overwhelmed with the scent of the beautiful Omega, needing to stifle a moan when he inhaled it and knowing that she would be his momentarily. He could see the Alphas son in the nest with her and while he wanted to bash the boys brains in, he restrained himself for the next 5 minutes until she was all his.

Y/n was awoken to a hand over her mouth and she groaned, assuming it was Nik messing with her before feeling how calloused the hands were and taking in the foul scent that reminded her of a fishing boat. She gasped his the man’s hands tightened on her.

‘If you make a noise before I’m done I will slit the boys throat. That what you want? You wanna be covered in your little boyfriend?’ She shook her head frantically, her wolf rioting in her brain against the man. ‘I will fuck you in this nest with his blood everywhere, if you don’t want that then keep your slutty little mouth shut Omega.’ She didn’t like the way he said “Omega” as if she were disgusting but he had always been like this.

Charlie was a member of the pack that had always been very vocal about wanting an Omega, how he deserved one more than anyone else. He had harassed Y/n’s mother when she was of age before her father put him in his place and now it seems he had decided after all of his creepy touches and sniffs of her that he wasn’t taking chances with Klaus being strong enough to fuck him up.

Y/n nudged Klaus with her foot several times as Charlie turned her over with his hand still on her mouth, yanking her hair away painfully and pressing his face to her neck, kissing her soft skin on the opposite side that Niklaus had marked her.

A mark that had settled hours ago.

As soon as Niklaus laid eyes on the man with his face in his Omegas throat he lunged, grabbing him by his scruff and digging his claws deep. The Alpha cried out, giving Klaus the chance to rip him off and throw him to the floor where he promptly jumped on top and began beating the piss out of the monster.

‘What is Going on in Here?!’ Y/n’s mother shouted as her parents barged in to see Klaus beating Charlie to death, her father pulling the young Alpha off.

‘Alpha!’ Y/n sobbed, holding the bleeding side of her neck which prompted Klaus to move to her quickly, grabbing the shirt that he’d removed earlier and pressing it to her neck.

‘Don’t touch My Omega!’ The bloody mess of a man snarled.

Nik looked at his mate who was in pain and desperate for his comfort. ‘You are so fucking smart Omega, you know that? I’m sorry I didn’t believe you right away-‘

‘You did in the end…everything is okay now.’

‘Oh my baby! Let me see! We can fix this, we can! I will find a way to-‘ her mother stopped as she looked at the bloody mess before seeing Nik’s already healed mark on the other side, smelling no one but him which made the women grin. ‘I don’t like that it was before the ceremony but in this case, good job kids.’

‘Let Me Go! Give me my Omega! It’s My Right!’ The old Alpha raged as he was now held by Y/n’s father as well as Klaus’-their Alpha.

‘That may be but you forced a young girl into a mating, if you don’t think I’ll find a way to-‘

‘Actually Dad, she’s not his mate.’ They all looked over at Klaus and Y/n who were clearly in good spirits. ‘I marked her last night, all he did was bite her for no good reason which I must say, I don’t really care for. Makes me want to tie you up in the forest, cover you in raw meat and leave you for a bear to eat…I like that punishment, let’s do that.’

‘I’m sure that that can be arranged. The elders will discuss promptly. You kids get back to bed.’ Klaus’ father directed, manhandling the asshole from the bedroom.

‘Thank you for believing me.’ Y/n spoke, finger trailing over her Alphas exposed chest.

‘Always Y/n. I will always take care of my Omega. And now, since we’ve already broken the rules before the ceremony…I want every wolf at that party to be able to smell my pups in your pretty belly…don’t you?’

Klaus Mikaelson Masterlist

[jocelynscrazyideas]

Just friends? | Matt Rempe x Reader

Pt. 2

Warnings: language, that’s it? NOT PROOF READ

Summary: we head to the Ny Rangers game, matt had gotten three penalties and the rangers lost. We head to our little friend days, i accidentally split the way i feel about Matt, he tells me his feelings.

A:N- FIRST REMPE BLURB‼️🚨I’m scared, this is so gonna flop bc he’s like the most hated rookie…

══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══

I’ve known Matt since we were in seventh grade. It’s been nine years of friendship. I’m excited to watch him play as a rookie in THE nhl.

“Are you ready?” Matt asks me, as if I’m the one who’s nervous. This whole time he’s been pacing back and forth, we play the Hurricanes tonight in the playoffs. I’m excited!

“No. I think I’ll just stay here in the hotel and watch you play from here.” I joke with him, he obviously isn’t in the mood to mess around.

I tie his tie and flatten his suit out, I mess with his hair a bit. “Matty?” Ally walks in.

“Hey y/n! Cars running, we’ll have to leave early, we need to grab gas. Unless you are going in early with matt?” Ally, one of Matt’s older sister.

“Oh hey? I didn’t know you were here.” Steph says as she walks in, checking in on my work. “Nice tie. Who tied it?” Steph asks Matt.

“Cool, cool.” Steph says as she looks at Matt’s eyes that trail into mine.

I’ve never seen Matt the way I’ve seen other boys, maybe it’s because I’ve grown up with him, I’ve seen him go through puberty, get girlfriends, and I’ve seen his room. Ally and Steph on the other hand… well they think Matt and I are literally meant to be.

“Cute.” Ally says as she grabs Steph and walk out.

“So we’ll see you y/n, at the seats?” Ally says as she walks down the hallway of Matt’s home. Matt pulls me to his mirror that is hung in his closet door.

“You look comfy.” He said and he rubs my shoulder, he looks down at me. For preference, I am 5”3, and he’s 6”7’. He’s significantly taller than me.

“You’ll do great.” I say and I grab my bag, my phone and apply lipgloss. He stares at me while I tie up my shoes. I’m wearing a blue tank top, and on top I have a leather jacket, I have a Rangers jersey imprinted on the back of the coat. I walk around with white air forces on my feet.

We walk to the car and we pull out of the driveway. We watch Matt’s older sister’s car get smaller as we turn a corner to head towards the rink.

“Radio on?” Matt asks me, I’m sure he’ll want to play our song.

“Sure.”

He throws his phone at me and gives me aux. “no. Play something fun.”

I play Martin & Gina by Polo G.

“No, play our song.”

So I do, I type into his Spotify search Shower by Becky G. “I love this song!” Matt says as he looks over to me. He keeps his eyes on mine.

“Matt!” I yell as he steps on his breaks. He almost ran a kid over. He let the kid cross the street and Matt wanted some coffee so we head to a Caribou.

“You wnat anything?” Matt asks me, and again he stares me down, I see him looking at me like I’m the great Mona Lisa. Or as if I’m the Eiffel Tower.

“No I’m good I’ll just pick up a Dr Pepper at the food court.” I reply. I look into Matt’s eyes, he has a light bruise that stained his under eye from previous fights. I’m sure he’s fired up for playoffs, I’m excited!

~

We get to the rink and he walks in the player enterance and I head for the other side of the building, making it to the front of the building. I enter in just as normal and get my pass out to enter in as family. I understand that I should’ve gone in with Matt, but it felt better to get in early instead of late like the other family do.

I head for our seats and make it to my spot that I always sit in. I can see all the fans walking to the glass, signs are up and pressed against the window. Rempe jerseys everywhere, and family’s sitting at seats waiting for the game to start.

Hype songs start, warmups are coming. I watch Matt walk on the ice. For some reason I felt this wierd park in my stomach. I got wayyy to excited to see him. I actually smiled so big that my cheeks hurt from staring at him.

~

After game

~

The rangers lost. Matt hasn’t walked out of the locker room, and I patiently wait. He was the last one out, the coaches even left before him. The janitors started to come in and clean up. I have to wait for Matt, he’s the one driving me home.

“Matt?” I said when he finally walked out. “What.” Matt says in the grumpiest tone. He didn’t walk out for post game interviews, so I assume that he would do it later.

“Are you okay?” I ask him, I thought I was being kind for asking. He left me on heard. He just took my hand and walked me to his car. He opened my door for me, and threw his hockey gear into the back of his car.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Matt finally answered.

Okay.

“Okay, let’s just go home alright?” I say canceling our plans that we were waiting for, for the last week.

“What!? No!” Matt whines before he backs out of his parking spot. “I wnat to go.” He said as he looks at me.

“Let’s spend time together. Come on. Please? I just had the worst game of my life and you’re just gonna make me feel worse?” He guilt trips me.

“Maybe.” I sarcastically answered as I throw his hands off my thigh. See, moments like this I believe his sister that maybe we could be something. NO! Matt is just a friend, he’s practically been in my life forever. Freinds for 9years and going on, and known eachother since we were 8 years old.

“I’m gonna shower, and you need to change.” Matt says when he pulls into his driveway. His sisters pull in behind us. “Matty!” Steph tells out for him.

“What.” He replied, he sounds the way he did before we left the rink.

“Um. Okay well me and Ally are going to the mall, and we’re going back to school. See you soon okay?” Steph says and she steps back into her car. That’s the last time I’ll see them, well ofcire we still have summer but they’re all the way at college and I’m just here in New York.

~

“Okay should I wear red, or green?” I ask Matt, I men’s his opinion matters, like a lot.

“Im wearing Blue, so you should wear that blue and white outfit you got a while ago.”

“That wasn’t an option.” I reply. I just do as he says and slide in my corset top dress and a value decal lace, the white silk sits on my curves.

“You’re so beautiful.” Matt says as he watches me walk out of the bathroom. My hair is curled, my makeup done and my legs are shaved, I also have the perfect amount of heel that raises my height.

Matt looks me up and down and grabs my hand. We drive down to a cove. We eat some pasta and we grab some dessert at this small shop downtown. “Don’t get anything in that dress!” Matt warns me, I’m eating like a pig.

He’s so sweet. I could talk to him for hours.

After our foodie phase we head to the coast. We drive about an hour just to get to a beach. It was so nice, we sat and stared at the stars, but it felt wrong. I know that we would be good as a couple but, what his sister say all the time teasing him makes me think he likes me. No.

He can’t.

We’re friends.

“How’s life been? Got a hot boyfriend I don’t know about? You just moved up here in New York so how you like?” Matt asks me, he turn his head and leans back onto his forearms. He’s watching me stare into the void. I’m scared to tell him.

No, we’re just friends.

“Nope. Men are stupid. Not you of course, your perfect- your like the only guy I would date!-or well yeah it’s nice up in New York, city is beautiful and the weather is my type.” I answer, I stuttered about all of my try feelings. Shit.

“Well l feeel the same way.” Matt says, I’m sure he heard my little cry of what the hell did I say.

“What.”

“I like you as well y/n. You didn’t notice?”

[stellar-constellations]

Star Patient: Chapter 5 (ONGOING SLOW BURN SERIES)

WARNING: This series will include; possible inaccurate medical procedures and medical setting, gore, toxic relationships that should NOT be replicated in real life, murder, yanderes, cursing, suicide mentions, implications of misandry (male misogyny), and possibly more.

Inaccurate canon-timeline (this is before Ashley and Andrew murdered their parents).

Reader has a small fear of adult men/rape and has a history of suicide attempts.

Incest is not Wincest.

Amnesiac! Obsessive! Patient! Andrew Graves x Yandere! Nurse! Reader:

Wordcount: 12,000+ words

Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, chapter 4, current chapter, chapter 6, Chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9 (in the works)

Want to listen to music while reading? Check out the Star Patient's Official Playlists! Multiple different playlists and genres!

        Andrew glided through the hospital corridors, taking the elevator to the pediatric branch. He really couldn’t care less about the kid, Hailey, but for some reason his favorite nurse just loved the little nuisance. 

        He felt a bit jealous. Does she like Hailey more than him? 

        Obviously, she does, considering how she had talked about the girl when they first met. He felt pretty annoyed. Did she spend more of her time and attention on the ill girl? Did she get to innocently hug her like that? If Andrew wasn’t so prideful, he’d definitely ask her for a hug.

        Hell, he was really fighting with himself to ask now. Just a small quick hug, nothing bad! He wondered if he could genuinely pull that off. He wondered how she must feel inside his arms. Would she rest her head against his chest, or would she rather prefer resting it on his shoulder? Is she one of those people who cling onto you like their life depends on it, or was she someone who preferred soft and polite hugs? Would she be a long and affectionate hugger, or simple and sweet? 

        He put that thought in the back of his mind for now, rolling down the hallways to Hailey’s room. He didn’t bother to open the door, much like he did with (Y/N)’s room earlier, as he strolled in without a care.

        Hailey laid in her bed, her eyes glued to some book (Y/N) got her, before she glanced at him. Her eyes raised, surprised to see the pale man again.

        “Andrew, was it?” she questioned, her voice sounding better from yesterday. “What are you doing here?”

        “(Y/N) told me to check on you.” He stated bluntly.

        “(Y/N)? Is she here?” Hailey questioned, a smile growing on her face. “I haven’t seen her tonight! I thought she was off work?”

        Andrew was about to open his mouth and say (Y/N) was, before remembering how the nurse didn’t want the girl to know about her condition. 

        “Uh, no…” he muttered, looking away. “She… wanted me to get into books to distract myself… so she told me to go to you for any books.” He lied.

        “So you do have an interest in books after all.” Hailey smiled. “You must have an interest in nurse (Y/N) too, huh?” Hailey smirked teasingly.

        “…What are you getting at?” Andrew questioned, resisting the urge to glare at the sick girl.

        How the hell did this kid know? Andrew questioned to him.

        “It’s very obvious.” She smiled. “See, if I had a past life, I’m sure I was like a cupid!”

        “Uh, yeah. Sure, kid.” He spoke, brushing off the comment as he decided not to entertain nor deny the idea.

        “I’m very serious.” Hailey re-enforced. “I can see it in your eyes! You’re invested in her!”

        Who is this brat… Andrew thought, annoyed but intrigued (much to his dismay).

        “You know, I’ve known her ever since she came here. I know her type of men.” Hailey lied, a mischievous smirk growing on her face.

        “…You do?” Andrew muttered, now he was unashamedly interested. 

        “I could tell you…” she hummed, trailing off. “Or not.”

        Andrew looked hesitant, before letting out a sigh. He rolled his chair up to her bedside, glancing down at her lap where her open book rested.

        The book she got from (Y/N)…

        God, everything just seems to trace back to that woman, huh? No matter what, everything he sees and hears all traces back to her, even outside of the hospital people are attracted to her (even if the reasons could be malicious). It’s almost pathetic how hooked he is on her, despite not even knowing her for a week. It’s almost scary how everyone seems to be attracted to the girl, she just had an aura that everyone was aware of and drawn to. 

        He could look at something stupid like his shoes and remember her footsteps as she walked with him to the surgery room. He could remember her hands on his face, chest, wrist, looking all around and checking his condition, his bandages, his vitals. He could look at his bedsheets and remember her hands tucking him in for bed… and imagine things he’d rather not envision for a woman he just met.

        Yeah, back in the hatch those thoughts go.

        “Could you just tell me?” he huffed, trying to sound as uninterested as possible despite asking for this, rather impatiently at that.

        “Well? Do you like her?” Hailey questioned.

        Andrew took the moment to think to himself. Yeah, she was a pretty nice nurse, and she knew her stuff despite specializing in pediatrics; though he shouldn’t be surprised, children are basically just the same anatomy as adults, just smaller in size.

        She had a nice voice, and she somehow balanced between playful and professional, perhaps that’s practiced for pediatrics to make kids feel comfortable yet still hold authority. 

        She had a cute smile, and her eyes were pretty to look into. He liked looking at her while she worked, sometimes she’d even bite her lip or stick her tongue out to remind herself to concentrate. She looked like an angel laying on that white hospital bed. Even in pain, she still looked pretty. 

        He wondered how she was outside of the hospital. She was a human too, how did she act with her friends, or her family? How did she act alone? Was she single? Did she have a boyfriend, or did she prefer girls? Would she take interest in him? Could she see him as a potential partner?

        Fuck. Yeah, he definitely liked her.

        “Just a little…” he muttered, feeling a little embarrassed.

        This feels weird (and degrading, in a sense) to be relying on a sick kid for love advice. 

        “So you admit it?” she smiled.

        “Are you gonna tell me or not?” Andrew growled.

        By now, Hailey was no longer fearful or anxious of Andrew. Andrew was just a lovesick puppy hopelessly enamored with her favorite nurse, in her eyes at least. She learned that expression from her books.

        “No.” Hailey smiled, picking up her book.

        “Why?” Andrew questioned, feeling a little betrayed that she made him admit his feelings only to not hold onto their deal.

        “Because I lied.” Hailey smiled. “I don’t know her type.”

        “Brat…” Andrew muttered under his breath, unashamed to be talking smack in front of a dying kid.

        He could’ve said worse, but it’s quite mean to talk ill to a sick child, especially in front of them. Besides, (Y/N) wouldn’t like it if she found out.

        “So, books?” Hailey hummed, getting back to her reading. “This book I’m reading right now is pretty good. I can read it to you.” She suggested.

        “No…” he grumbled, still a little upset that he was tricked. 

        He’ll let her lying slide. Kids will be kids, let them have their fun. 

        “How about I read it to you instead?” Andrew suggested.

        He didn’t want her reading to him; he was the adult, not her. Besides, her voice sounds hoarse and struggling, he’d rather him read it to her than have the kid push herself—not because he’s soft or anything, but because (Y/N) would be upset. 

        Hailey seemed to ponder the idea, before handing over the book to him. 

        “Just don’t crease the pages.” Hailey spoke.

        “Got it.” Andrew hummed, looking at the page she was originally reading.

        He started at the beginning of the page, reading a bit wonky at first, before he started to get into the narration. The words started to flow more smoothly, and he even took pauses for dramatic effect at the intense moments that felt like they needed a pause to sink in.

        One chapter became two, and two became four. He was pretty interested in the story, makes sense considering it was his (Y/N) who got the story, of course she’d have immaculate taste too. 

        He read until his throat went dry, the tip of his tongue aching from all the pronunciations. He looked up from the book to see Hailey asleep.

        Did she get bored? Andrew thought, a little offended that she fell asleep at the book (Y/N) gave her instead of giving it to him, especially when he was kind enough to read it to her. 

        Maybe she just liked his voice? It’s perfect for listening to. His voice wasn’t quiet, but it wasn’t loud either, like a polite demand for attention or to respect his authority. It was deep, but not too deep, with a slight rasp from smoking. He was good at projecting his voice so others could listen to him—well, everyone except Ashley, really. 

        Thinking of Ashley, where is she? She was sure acting weird today. Something about the demon’s vision she saw in her dream. She also described (Y/N)’s appearance despite not even knowing the nurse; he couldn’t recall any moment they had interacted.

        Andrew took a white bookmark that laid on her bedside table, placing it on the page he stopped reading on. He closed the book, placing it down on Hailey’s bedside. He wheeled out of the room, making his way back to the elevators.

        He entered the elevator, pressing the button for the emergency branch, waiting for the doors to re-open. The metal shutters opened and he rolled out, going back to (Y/N)’s room.

        He made it, opening the door and entering without bothering to knock. (Y/N) laid in the hospital bed, her eyes closed as she appeared to be sleeping.

        Damn… Andrew thought, disappointed. I was hoping to talk to her.

        He doesn’t know what he would’ve talked about, but he was hoping she’d start the conversation. He wanted to get closer to her, emotionally and physically. 

        Andrew debated what he should do, before finally giving in, rolling his wheelchair up to her side. He observed her sleeping face, blissfully unaware of his presence as she slept. Her hair was a little messy, perhaps from sleeping or from the attack earlier. Her skin was a bit paler than usual, perhaps from shock or blood loss. She had more prominent bags under her eyes than usual, resting heavily under her closed eyes.

        He wondered who attacked her, and why. Was it a crazy ex boyfriend? Some stalker? A jealous friend? Someone suffering under delusions? He wondered what happened.

        He had an idea, though he was scared to ponder on it.

        Instead of thinking about it, he distracted himself. He looked down at her bandaged arm, trailing his hands down to her wrists, and to her fingernails.

        Her nails were strangely clean. They were polished and trimmed, which makes sense considering nurses need to have good hygiene, especially so they don’t transfer bacteria or accidentally infect patients. They looked like they had been scrubbed squeaky clean recently, not even a trace of dirt under her nails. 

        Her hands looked small compared to his, clean and petite compared to his rough and damaged ones. 

        His hands had small burns from failing to light his cigarettes as a starter; her hands had small burns from ovens and hot cookware and hot glue guns, yet somehow her scars were far more attractive than his.

        His hands were dirty, stained with blood and sins; hers were clean, baptized in purity and commandant.

        He wondered how her hands would feel against his. They looked soft, would they feel soft? He wondered if she used lotion, what her favorite nail polish was, how long she liked her nails.

        Those thoughts led to other thoughts. What did she like wearing when she’s at home? What does she wear in public? What kind of music does she listened to? What kind of foods does she like?

        He decided it was best to stop those thoughts. He stared at her hands, juggling his thoughts in his head, before finally giving in. He reached out and held her hand with his larger one. 

        He held it gently, feeling the weight of it. His thumb rubbed the back of her hand soothingly, memorized at the difference. Her hand was slightly cold, possibly due to how cold the hospital’s AC is followed by blood loss, but it wasn’t uncomfortable to touch. 

        He looked at her face to see if she woken up or felt the touch. She didn’t.

        His fingers carefully interlocked with her, cautious to make sure she wouldn’t accidentally wake up. She remained neutral, not even a flutter of her eyelashes or any stirring. 

        She must be really tired… Andrew thought. 

        His admired their hands as they eloped together. He noticed discoloration on her hands, He shifted his body, laying his elbow down on the edge of the mattress and using his arm as a pillow. He admired her sleeping face, closing his eyes to relish the touch and intimacy of this moment. He doesn’t know how long it took for him to fall asleep, but it was relatively quick.          .         .        

        A few hours later, Andrew jolted awake first at the sound of the door opening, turning his head at the noise. (Y/N) groaned, opening her eyes and seeing Andrew by her side, holding her hand as a man stood in the doorway, one Andrew didn’t know. 

        Andrew squeezed (Y/N)’s hand softly, a silent greeting before glaring at the man, almost possessive of (Y/N)’s vulnerable state.

        “Hello, Doctor Ryan…” (Y/N) yawned, before directing her attention to Andrew. “And hello to you too, Andrew.” She hummed, smiling as she gently squeezed his hand back.

        She looked down at their hands, wondering when she and Andrew started holding hands, or even when he returned back. Her hands trailed down to her sleeves, more so lack of, as the hospital gown didn’t have any long-sleeves for her. She noticed her scars out in the open and ripped her hand away from Andrew’s, a sense of insecurity and embarrassment rapidly building in her as she hid her arms under her blanket.

        Andrew looked confused (even a little disheartened that she let go) as Doctor Ryan walked over to her. Doctor Ryan isn’t usually at the hospital on Saturday nights, but he could’ve decided to work overtime this week. It’s not unusual since he has a stay-at-home wife and three kids.

        “Hello! I heard what happened and I figured I’d wait to see you when you’re awake.” The doctor smiled brightly, walking over to her bedside and sitting next to Andrew. “And who is this?” he questioned, looking at Andrew, yet having a good idea of who it was as he sent a knowing smirk. 

        While Doctor Ryan had never met Andrew face-to-face, he had read his report when assigning (Y/N) to watch him his first night, along with hearing all the gossip from Penelope. 

        Andrew had a small reputation around the hospital since he’s one of the trouble patients, on suicide watch and needing special treatment for his wounds and wants. Andrew wouldn’t accept any care from any other nurse during the night shift, it was a fight for the day shift to care for him until (Y/N) told him to behave for day shift. His sister was also banned from the hospital due to proving a threat to Andrew’s recovery and health, though she won’t be a problem anymore. 

        Rumors spread pretty easily of Andrew’s fondness and almost admiration of the nurse he chose, (Y/N). Penelope has a big mouth without meaning to, having a bad habit of rambling and over sharing her and other people’s problems and secrets, so it spread pretty quick of the strange relationship the nurse and patient shared. Penelope’s ramblings of doubt as a nurse because Andrew wouldn’t accept her care had reached Doctor Ryan’s ears, being the catalyst of his teasing to his student, (Y/N). 

        “This is Andrew.” (Y/N) introduced when she realized Andrew wasn’t going to answer the doctor’s question, only give him a nasty glare.

        She cleared her throat, shoving her arms into her blanket so the pair of males didn’t see, and flashed a smile. “What’s your visit for? Don’t tell me you’re gonna make me work.” She chuckled lightly, trying to make a joke. 

        “I wouldn’t say 'work' exactly.” Doctor Ryan smiled, before it faltered, letting out a sigh. “You’re here today, so I figured it’d be a good time to tell you. I think it’s best if you see Hailey.” 

        “Hailey? Why? Did something bad happen to her?” (Y/N) questioned, doing her best to not sound alarmed or panicked.

        It’s never a good thing for a nurse to panic, it’d defeat a key factor of their job. Nurses are supposed to provide aid to their patients, whether it’s emotionally or physically, or even emotional in cases like Andrew’s. A nurse panicking would panic their patient since they’re going to look to the one with most experience. If a patient panics, they can worsen their condition or provide unnecessary stress that can affect their recovery or even create new problems. 

        And people think being a nurse is just all fluffing pillows and handing out medication. You have to be constantly in tune with the patients emotions, symptoms, and healing process; from what they're feeling to how much they're eating or using the bathroom. Always checking up on how they are and cater them to the best of your ability; serving them food (and sometimes helping feed them), changing their bedsheets, helping them to the bathroom, helping out with physical therapy, prepping them for procedures or appointments, and charting. The worse is charting. You have to document every single thing; from what they ate and what times, to who visited them today, to how what they said to be feeling and what they looked actually looked to be feeling like, to any improvement or decline or neutrality of their status, to their behavior, to what medicines they had, to their complaints or compliments they have about the hospital or their treatment, and so much more. 

        “She’s just not in the greatest condition at the moment. I think it’s best she sees you.” Doctor Ryan spoke.

        Before she could question it, Doctor Ryan grabbed something from his coat, placing it down on her bedside table. 

        “Here,” he spoke, patting what looked to be a Polaroid recorder down on her table, “I came to drop this off too. This was supposed to be a wholesome visit, until Hailey at least…” he spoke, allowing his smile to drop. “Check out the contents on the camera later. I have to get back to work. Get well soon!”

        “Thanks.” (Y/N) smiled, watching Doctor Ryan leave the room.

        “Who was that?” Andrew questioned, glancing over at her as he resisted the urge to grimace.

        “That’s Doctor Ryan, he’s my professor! He’s the one teaching me pediatrics since I’m an apprentice.” (Y/N) explained, slowly sitting up from the bed.

        Andrew watched her movements carefully, observing how she slowly took her time getting out of bed. She didn’t apply much pressure on her injured leg as her sock-clothed feet hit the ground (with clean hospital socks, none of her blood soaked up in it and used to plug in any stab wounds). The room looked like a carousel, spinning rapidly, and a headache followed with it, screaming loudly in her head. She let out a groan as Andrew quickly placed a hand on her waist.

        "Careful..." Andrew muttered, watching her intently as he kept his hand on her waist.

        "Thank you, but I'm fine." (Y/N) lied, placing her hand on his shoulder to use as leverage. 

        "Yeah, sure." He hummed sarcastically.

        (Y/N) resisted the urge to glare at him. While she wasn't on duty, she was still his nurse and she didn't feel like having any workplace drama. 

        "Do you want me to assist you there?" Andrew questioned, his thumb absentmindedly tracing small circles on her hip.

        "No, it's fine." She spoke, taking a few steps to the door and ignoring the stabbing sensation in her leg. 

        "Are you sure?" Andrew questioned, trying his best to not look too concerned for her. 

        "Yes, I'm sure." She huffed, trying not to be snippy. "It's for the best. I don't want Hailey to be nervous or worried, especially if there's something going on with her." 

        "Just be careful..." Andrew spoke, watching her limp away. "I'll be here waiting for you." 

        (Y/N) took the moment to look back at him, confused. Before she could question it, she stopped herself, deciding there was always later to talk about it. Right now Hailey needs her, Andrew can wait.  

        (Y/N) settled for a nod, rummaging in the hospital cabinets and grabbing a white blanket. She wrapped it around her body to hide her hospital gown; she wouldn’t want to worry Hailey. (Y/N) limped out of the room, going down the halls to the elevator. 

        She pressed the floor the pediatric branch was on, waiting rather impatiently for the doors to open again as she descended.

        Was Hailey okay? What did he mean by she’s not in the greatest condition? Has she gained more symptoms, or weakened?

        Hailey has acute lymphoblastic leukemia, also known as ALL. It’s a cancer inside the blood and bone marrow, where the infected white blood cells are rapidly multiplying, creating blocks in the blood and bones that could prevent other cells from getting through and working. The cancer comes with symptoms such as fever, frequent nose bleeds, weakness or fatigue, easy bruising, pain in the bones or stomach or groin, frequent infections, and swollen lymph nodes. 

        Hailey’s most prominent symptoms are her swollen lymph nodes, hence why her voice is low and raspy, along with her bone pains in her legs, which is why she’s bedridden. At least 90% of kids under 15 who have ALL survive, so long as they’re treated. Even thought Hailey has been in the hospital for three years, she’s made very little progress in recovering. 

        Despite there being no stages in ALL cancer, if (Y/N) had to guess, she’s assume Hailey would be in stage 3. Over the years of chemotherapy and medications, her infected white blood cells just seem to be multiplying more and more, hence why it’s called acute lymphoblastic leukemia, acute means rapid. 

        (Y/N)’s theory is that a doctor didn’t give a strong enough dosage to Hailey, therefore the cells grew a resistance to the medication, creating a superbug that could withstand the medicine entirely. 

        Even then, what matters is if Hailey is feeling alright. (Y/N) exited the elevator and limped down the hallways, making it to Hailey’s room and opening the door.

        “Oh. Hello, Ms. (L/N)!” Hailey greeted brightly, her voice still hoarse and raspy, but having life to it. “What are you doing here? You said it was your day off!”

        Hailey’s upper body shot up quickly as she sat up from bed, a smile on her face as she greeted (Y/N). Her eyes were bright and lively, even waving her arm at the nurse.

        Oh.

        “Sorry it’s so early!” (Y/N) smiled. “It’s at least 5 A.M. What are you doing up so early?” 

        “I couldn’t sleep, I just had such a sudden burst of energy!” Hailey spoke. “I think I’m getting better!”

        (Y/N) ignored that comment, sitting down on the guest chair in Hailey’s room. Her eyes trailed to the wheelchair that sat near her IV pole, a wheelchair that’s only used for Hailey to wheel herself to the bathroom now, but even then she needs help from the nurses. 

        “So? How’s that book you’re reading?” (Y/N) questioned.

        “I’m almost done with it. At least 30 pages away.” Hailey answered. “What are you doing here at the hospital? It’s your night off; unless you’re working overtime again?”

        “Yes! I’m working overtime again.” (Y/N) lied, smiling at the girl. 

        It’s best not to tell her anything, not in her condition.

        “Are you cold? Why are you wearing a blanket?” Hailey questioned.

        “Yes, I’m cold. I’m feeling a bit chilly at the moment. It’s verging to winter and the hospital still hasn’t adjusted the thermostat yet.” (Y/N) lied once more. “Hey, remember when I said I’ll take you to the garden the next time I see you? Would you like to go right now?”

        Hailey’s eyes brightened even more, her grin widening as she nodded. “Yes! I want to see the flowers!” 

        “Let’s get you in the wheelchair, yeah?” (Y/N) spoke, standing up from the chair and using the blanket to hide herself limping from Hailey’s sight.

        Hailey used her upper arms and was able to push herself to the edge of the bed on her own, even moving her knees a bit too! (Y/N) still carefully placed one of her arms under Hailey’s knees and the other on her back, picking up Hailey and placing her in the wheelchair. 

        (Y/N) decided against the wheelchair restraints, not wanting Hailey to feel trapped at the moment. (Y/N) grabbed the blanket off Hailey’s bed, but Hailey spoke up.

        “We can leave the blanket. I actually feel pretty warm at the moment.” Hailey spoke.

        The only warmth Hailey usually had was when she had a fire spreading in her legs, the bone pains acting up and causing many sleepless nights for her. It’s why Hailey is almost always awake when (Y/N) does her rounds around the hospital at night.

        “It’s cold outside. Let’s take the blanket just in case.” (Y/N) persisted, smiling as she covered Hailey’s shoulders and down with the thin white cloth. 

        Hailey decided not to argue against it and cooperated. (Y/N) wheeled Hailey out of the room, her pace a little slower than usually as she felt that stabbing sensation in her leg and stomach. It made her silently hitch her breath, her ears having a slight ring in them, yet she persisted. 

        “Gosh, I haven’t seen these halls in forever.” Hailey spoke, her eyes scanning every nook and cranny of the white hallways. “You know, I read that whenever you enter a unfamiliar area, the reason why you feel dizzy is because you have a sensory overload. Like, you’re saving mental images and color palettes and the layout of the area all in your head, that way you remember where you are the next time you go! Even though I’ve been here before, it feels like it’s my first time down these halls all over again.” 

        Yes, (Y/N) knows that. She was the one who gave Hailey the book she learned that from, but for Hailey’s sake (and to distract her mind from the pain), she decided to play dumb.

        “Wow, really?” (Y/N) hummed, smiling. “I never knew that. It makes sense now that you’ve explained it.”

        Hailey nodded, smiling. “Yeah! I remember having that dizziness when I was at my friend’s for a sleepover.” She spoke, before her smile dropped. “Though, it was before I had cancer, or at least when I wasn’t placed in the hospital… I sometimes miss having friends.”

        “Why, of course you have friends.” (Y/N) spoke. “You have me! And you have Doctor Ryan, and Penelope, and Ruby, and even Andrew too.” 

        “Yeah, but I mean friends my age.” Hailey spoke.

        Normally, that could be arranged in the hospital so long as the patients aren’t being exposed to a infectious disease or illness, especially in Hailey’s case since she’s more prone to getting infections; however, Hailey didn’t want to be friends with the other kids after her hair started falling out due to the chemotherapy. She was insecure of her appearance deteriorating, even if Penelope kept lying to her face and telling her she looked perfectly fine. Hailey preferred (Y/N) over Penelope for that reason. (Y/N) always told her the truth, or at least left it blank so there was no harsh comment. 

        If Penelope asked (Y/N) if she looked sickly today, (Y/N) would tell her that a bit of water and food would help bring back some color to her face. It was a good way to not only promote healthy behavior for Hailey, but also it helped build trust in (Y/N) to always telling her the truth about her health. If she asked Penelope, Penelope would’ve lied and said she looked as bright as the sun; which is kind, but she could tell Penelope was lying by how Penelope’s right eye would twitch and bite her bottom lip. 

        “I see… well, I’m sure we can arrange that soon, when you’re ready.” (Y/N) smiled, taking Hailey into the elevator.

        (Y/N) pressed the lobby floor as Hailey spoke up.

        “Are the flowers even in bloom? Since it’s verging to winter?” Hailey questioned.

        “A secret between me and you; the flowers are fake.” (Y/N) whispered, acting as if there was a camera watching her or something. We have scented pads hidden in the soil to make it smell like flowers, and we wet the soil regularly to keep that earthy smell lingering.” 

        “Really?” Hailey gasped.

        “That’s why they’re always in bloom. It’s depressing to have an empty garden, even something as small as colorful flowers give people hope.” (Y/N) explained. 

        While fake flowers aren’t present in most hospitals, this hospital was different. Even if they were always understaffed and overworked, they at least cared for their patients. Even if the staff excel at their work or not, at least they have work ethic. 

        The elevator doors opened as (Y/N) wheeled Hailey down the hallways. (Y/N) noticed the stares from guests and even some patients; whether it was because of Hailey’s bald head or (Y/N)’s limp. (Y/N) noticed Hailey’s gripping the blanket on her, seconds away from raising the blanket above her head to hide it. (Y/N) recognized Hailey’s insecurity and spoke up.

        “You know, I’m thinking of starting a garden. A real garden with real flowers indoors, that way patients with allergies or conditions can see the flowers too without going outside.” (Y/N) spoke, redirecting Hailey’s attention. “I was wondering what flowers you’d like for me to add. I’ll do a survey with the other patients too, have a nice diversity of flowers. What do you think?” 

        “I think… it’s a nice idea.” Hailey smiled, letting go of the blanket. “I think daisies. You should do daisies.” 

        “That’s a nice flower. I’ll see what I can do.” (Y/N) nodded, smiling as she pushed open the glass door, rolling Hailey to the garden. 

        (Y/N) guided Hailey to the wooden bench, picking up Hailey and placing her down on the seat so she wouldn’t be confided to the wheelchair. 

        Hailey rambled on and on about anything and everything. She talked so much that (Y/N) contemplated if she should go fetch water for Hailey’s throat given how raspy it was, but she decided against it as she noticed the signs.

        Hailey’s bright smile, the almost whimsical joy in her eyes; an expression that (Y/N) thought Hailey has lost over the years as she spent her birthdays in this hospital. 

        (Y/N) remembers bringing a cake for Hailey’s 7th birthday, the first they spent together. Even though Hailey admitted to not liking vanilla cake, she still ate it. It was the last birthday she’d spend with her parents before they threw themselves at work, leaving Hailey along in the hospital with other sick patients and the staff. 

        The second birthday they spent together, (Y/N) had to ditch the candles, concerned the smoke would affect Hailey’s lungs. At least the cake was homemade, even if the frosting looked a bit ugly. (Y/N) made sure it was chocolate this time, so Hailey could enjoy it. 

        And the third birthday they spent together, (Y/N) made an ice cream cake, chocolate of course. She figured the ice cream would soothe Hailey’s throat and Hailey could still enjoy the flavor. It took many tries, but she succeeded in making the perfect cake, gifting Hailey books for her to read too. 

        If (Y/N) had known it would be Hailey’s last birthday, she would’ve made sure to go all out. Buy balloons and party streamers, force her parents to come back and see her, cover her head to toe in presents. 

        Unfortunately, you can’t change time. 

        Hailey’s eyes shined as she spoke, talking about anything possible. She didn’t have many who would listen to her, her doctors and nurses were there for work, and (Y/N) couldn’t visit long since she had other patients to tend to. But now, (Y/N)’s off the clock. At the moment she’s not Hailey’s nurse, she’s Hailey’s friend.

        Eventually, Hailey’s voice faltered, before she let out a hum, satisfied as she rested her head on the bench. She took a deep breath, then sighed, smiling softly.

        “It really does smell like flowers. Those are some good quality scent pads.” Hailey spoke.

        Fake flowers last for years; patients do not.

        “Do you ever wonder what’s beyond us?” Hailey questioned after a long silence.

        “What do you mean?” (Y/N) questioned, turning her head to face the girl.

        “Death. Like, do you ever wonder what happens after?” Hailey added.

        (Y/N) hummed, thinking as she kept her blanket wrapped around her, hiding her hospital gown just as Hailey hid from the cold. 

        She wasn’t sure. Many religions had their own ideals of life and death, but she doubted Hailey wanted an answer based on religion. She wasn’t sure what was beyond. After trying to kill herself, everything in her life started losing value, a spiral of nothing and everything thrown at her all at once. 

        Even if she stopped hurting herself physically, she couldn’t stop mentally.

“I think it changes for everyone.” (Y/N) spoke. “Like, your own paradise. You could be surrounded by anyone you want, and anything you want.”

        “What would you want to be surrounded by?” Hailey questioned.

        She didn’t have to think much on that matter. There wasn’t much in her life she cared about anymore. She did nothing but work nowadays. She was an empty husk that worked itself to death to pass the time, awaiting Death by the door. 

        If she couldn’t open the door, she’ll make Death open it. 

        “Beds.” (Y/N) answered.

        “Really? That’s it?” Hailey questioned, surprised and perhaps kindly disappointed. “I was expecting something… more. Like, deep, or wise.” 

        “You can’t expect everything to make sense in life, you know.” (Y/N) chuckled. “Sometimes things just happen. I think that’s what’s so fun about life, it’s just a mystery to be solved at the end of the line through all that hard work; or, perhaps there’s no mystery. Maybe it just coexists just like we do.” 

        “How can your answer be so boring but your follow-up be so wise?” Hailey pouted, cause (Y/N) to chuckle.

        “Hey, I never said I’d give you any special answer.” (Y/N) pointed out.

        “But, really, why beds?” Hailey questioned.

        “I just like sleeping.” (Y/N) smiled, giving part of the truth.

        “I guess it’ll suffice.” Hailey sighed, disappointed.

        “And you? What would you like to be surrounded by?” (Y/N) questioned.

        “My parents.” Hailey spoke. “And my old friends. And tons of my hair, like as much hair as Rapunzel.” 

        “That sounds nice.” (Y/N) hummed. “Though, you’d have to brush your hair all the time. Maybe it’s not so good having hair, I can’t stand mine at times.” (Y/N) spoke, trying to gently reassure Hailey.

        “Well, maybe just normal hair then. What it used to look like before.” Hailey spoke. “You’d be there too. I wouldn’t only see you when you’re working. I’d see you outside of the hospital as my friend.” 

        “What’s it matter where or how you meet? As long as we’re still friends, I don’t see any issue.” (Y/N) smiled.

        Hailey smiled, nodding. “I like that.” 

        Eventually, Hailey went quiet, no longer having any words to speak. She sat on the bench, observing her surroundings in a youthful fashion. Her eyes sparkled with life, her pulse relaxing as she enjoyed the false nature around her.

        “Thank you for staying with me.” Hailey spoke up, her volume decreasing, the sound of her raspy voice cracking more. “I know it’s probably hard for you to see me like this.”

        “Anything for you, Hails.” (Y/N) smiled, wrapping her arm around Hailey’s shoulder and giving her a gentle side-hug.

        “Thank you for not leaving me alone. It means a lot to me…” Hailey muttered, taking a few deep breaths, before eventually subduing. 

        (Y/N) glanced at the IV pole, looking at the fluids that gently flowed in Hailey’s veins, before she turned her attention back to Hailey. 

        After a few minutes, there was no movement from Hailey. No breathing. No eye movement. No leg twitching. Just nothing.

        (Y/N) took a deep breath, smelling the fake flowers and wet soil, before letting out a sob she’s been holding. 

        Hailey had so much life, and yet she died so young. She was so lively in her final moments.

        All that matters now is she’s not going to be in anymore pain and that she wasn’t scared. (Y/N) thought.

        Even if kids under 15 have a 90% chance of surviving acute lymphoblastic leukemia, it doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed. Life and death is really never a guarantee though, so it’s good to enjoy it while it lasts.

        If only (Y/N) could follow her own advice.

        (Y/N) covered her face in her hands, crying now that Hailey was gone, so she wouldn’t see her tears. This hurt way worse than any stab she could endure. 

        (Y/N) almost contemplated covering Hailey’s face with the her blanket, but she decided against it. She didn’t want to be ashamed of Hailey or her presence, she didn’t want to forget Hailey or brush her aside.

        (Y/N) stood up, deciding not to waste much time, and picked Hailey up, putting her in the wheelchair. She had such lifeless and glazed eyes, her mouth was slightly open and her arms flayed motionless as (Y/N) moved. She doesn’t look like the suddenly bright and cheerful Hailey from just a few minutes ago.

        Terminal Lucidity. It’s an unknown phenomenon that can happen before death, giving you suddenly more strength, a clearer consciousness, and even regaining memory. It’s surprisingly common, at least 88% experiencing the symptoms before death. It can happen from minutes to hours to days before death, and it has a habit of giving false hope to the patients loved ones. While it’s quite common in dementia patients, it can also happen to those with neurological problems or in some special cases those with cancer.

        In the hospital, a terminal patient suddenly acting lively and alert is usually a bad thing because it means they’re near death. It’s not quite known why, but some speculate it could be the brain’s last fight, before eventually giving in. 

        (Y/N) wheeled Hailey’s dead body to the hospital’s mortuary. She checked the body in, guessing the nearest time of death since she didn’t have a watch on her, and the cause of death. She wrote down the parental numbers so they could be contacted, before lumping her way back to the elevator.

        The ride up was deathly silent, not that anyone was in the elevator to talk to her, but it was silent in her mind too. Usually she’d at least be thinking of things to do, but she had no thoughts in her mind.

        The elevator doors opened and (Y/N) walked out. She walked back to her own hospital room, exhausted and tired. Tears threatened to escape her eyes once more, the pain of losing Hailey and the pain of her wounds piling up on her. 

        She opened the door, surprised to see Andrew there, sleeping in his wheelchair with his arms crossed. (Y/N) wasn’t sure whether to feel annoyed or happy. Annoyed because she wanted to cry and sleep, but also happy because it meant she wasn’t alone with her thoughts and feelings. 

        The door opened, jolting Andrew awake. He was probably in a light sleep, whether because he was expecting (Y/N) or because the wheelchair is uncomfortable to sleep in. Whatever the reason was, he was awake.

        His eyes trailed to (Y/N), doing his best not to smile and brighten up at her presence (that would be so lame if he did that).

        “Hey.” Andrew spoke.

        “Hey.” (Y/N) parroted, throwing her blanket at Andrew for him to use instead as she got up in her hospital bed.

        There was no point in hiding her hospital gown now that Hailey was dead, so that blanket could now be used by Andrew while she got under her own hospital bedsheets. 

        “You can go to your room, you know. I’m fine on my own.” (Y/N) spoke.

        “So? You got stabbed.” Andrew gruffed, catching the blanket and placing it down on his lap.

        “And you have two broken legs, mister. You should still be recovering after surgery.” (Y/N) scolded lightly.

        Her response caused Andrew to chuckle. Even injured and off the clock, she still worried about others. Andrew wasn’t sure if it was because she was his nurse or if she was just trying to be a decent human, but he relished the attention anyways. 

        “Ah, c’mon. I feel fine.” He chuckled. 

        (Y/N) resisted the urge to kick his leg to prove him wrong, yet she decided not to be petty today. She hummed, lying down on her bed. 

        “Is there something you want from me? Why are you here?” (Y/N) questioned, looking at the clock.

        It was 6:30 A.M. She’ll be here in the hospital until 3 P.M. She wasn’t fond of that. She needed to bury Ashley’s body and deep clean her apartment. Even though the police hopefully had no trace it was her, and hopefully they didn’t invade in her apartment and swab the place (which, they better of not considering it’d be illegal without her permission or a warrant). 

        Not really. Andrew thought.

        He just came over as soon as he heard (Y/N) was put in the emergency unit thanks to Penelope’s big mouth. He doesn’t really know why he came here, maybe just out of curiosity to see how bad she was hurt. All humans are curious when something bad happens.

        Maybe he just wanted to spend more time with her, to be happy she was here with him. It’s not like she could fight much with him, she was tired and her eyes were red.

        Red eyes. Was she crying?

        “I just figured I see you, since you’re here. It gives me something to do other than being stuck in that hospital bed.” Andrew spoke.

        “And now you’re stuck in a hospital wheelchair.” (Y/N) chuckled.

        “Forget about me. Are you okay?” Andrew questioned.

        “Yeah. I told you. It doesn’t hurt much.” (Y/N) lied, ignoring the pulses inside her wounds.

        “I wasn’t talking about that. I mean, are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying.” Andrew pointed out, leaning back in his chair as he looked at her.

        (Y/N) paused, thinking. Would it be against hospital protocol to say a patient’s status or info to someone if they’re dead? 

        Well, you only live once. And Andrew doesn’t look like a snitch. 

        “Hailey died.” (Y/N) spoke. “And, her parents weren’t there to say goodbye. Really, never visited her much either.” 

        “That sucks…” Andrew muttered.

        He’s not too sure if he could care or not. Yeah, it sucks a kid died, but why should he care about a kid he had no connection with? She died, might as well get over it.

        “It happens more than I like around here. They pass without their family around.” (Y/N) spoke. “But, I just can’t stand when the parents aren’t there for their kids. They die scared, that’s no way to die, for a kid or adult.” 

        (Y/N) spoke, looking out her window as the sun started rising. 

        She wondered where Andrew’s parents were. Why aren’t they here to visit him? Do they not know he’s here? Or perhaps they don’t want to visit their child who’s a murderer…

        “What shitty parents.” Andrew spoke with no filter.

        “Yeah,” (Y/N) chuckled, “that’s what I think too.” 

        To really care about someone you don’t have any blood-relation to, must be a special kind of bond; it’s one you can choose, not one you’re born with, unlike the one Andrew and Ashley shares.

        “So, where’s your parents?” Andrew questioned.

        “I’m an adult, I don’t need them checking up on me.” (Y/N) spoke.

        “Yeah, but, wouldn’t it be nice? A sense of security and all?” Andrew questioned.

        “Well, where’s your parents?” (Y/N) retorted, a bit annoyed.

        So what? It’s not like if she called them they’d come rushing to her. Her mother would care less seeing (Y/N) in a hospital again, and her father would probably go berserk and try to bring her back home where it was safe. 

        “Touché.” Andrew chuckled. “But I have my sister to visit me.” 

        (Y/N) mentally grimaced at that, doing her best to not make a face so Andrew wouldn’t question it. 

        Not anymore… she thought.

        Her hands suddenly felt dirty again. She didn’t know what to do with her hands, so she hid them in the hospital blanket. Once again, Andrew was intrigued with her hands after seeing her hide them. It’s like everything she hides them, he immediately gets curious and wants to see them. 

        He knows of the obvious self-harm scars now, he saw those when she was sleeping. And he saw the small scars and burns from everyday life, but why care so much about them? 

        Maybe it’s just something you have to go through in order to understand. You can’t understand everything on the first try, especially if you have no experience in it.

        Sure, he was admitted for jumping a rooftop, but that’s a bit different than self-harming. Jumping a rooftop is one clear goal; suicide. It has subcategories such as wanting to escape life, or having too many problems to run away from. 

        Self-harming, on the other hand, is more complex. The desire to harm yourself is there, but you don’t want to die immediately. It’s a slow steady process building up. You hurt yourself possibly because you feel ashamed, that you feel like you deserve to hurt because that’s all you’re worth. Or perhaps it’s to relieve stress or pain. There’s not always such a strong intent to die when you hurt yourself? sometimes pain is the only thing people know that they use to feel normal or detached. Perhaps they even get pressured into hurting themselves. Self-harming isn’t to die, it’s to make yourself suffer because you feel that that’s what you need. 

        The question is: what is her reasoning? 

        The question left him wondering, he was almost compelled to answer, but she didn’t look to be in a good mood, so he decided against it.

        (Y/N)’s eyes trailed to the digital recorder on her bedside. Doctor Ryan had left it on her bedside earlier, but he didn’t explain what was on it. She reached over and grabbed it, studying it.

        It was a shiny silver recorder, with a slot for polaroid photos to slip out of. (Y/N) turned on the camera, pressing a button to the camera roll. The camera roll opened, multiple short videos at least 10 or 20 seconds showing. 

        She clicked on one and turned it on, seeing a video of one of her patients. They had black hair and black eyes, sitting in their hospital bed with an IV needle in her arm and bandages around her head. She recently had surgery for a tumor in her brain, now resting in bed.

        “Hi, Ms. (L/N)! I heard you were doing unwell and I wanted to say please get better and visit me when you’re healthy!” the patient smiled.

        (Y/N) chuckled, a smile plastered on her face as she looked at the footage. Andrew wheeled his way over to her side, curious to what she was smiling at. He rested his arm on the bedside, leaning over and looking at the footage. 

        (Y/N) moved the camera in the center of them so they both could see. She clicked the next video, pressing play.

        A boy with brown hair looked at the camera, confused. “What do I say?”

        “Say get better.” Doctor Ryan whispered from behind the camera.

        “Get better.” The boy spoke.

        “Now add more to it, say nice things.” Doctor Ryan whispered, resisting the urge to chuckle. 

        “Nice things.” The kid spoke. 

        “No. What do you like about Nurse (L/N).” Doctor Ryan spoke, now using his normal volume instead of whispering.

        “I like that she’s nice.” The kid smiled.

        “Now say it to the camera.” Doctor Ryan pushed.

        “I like that you’re nice, camera.” The boy smiled, one of his front teeth were missing, only adding to the cuteness.

        “Ah, close enough.” Doctor Ryan chuckled, ending the video.

        (Y/N) giggled at the video while Andrew remained unfazed. She clicked the next video, pressing play. There was a girl inside Doctor Ryan’s office, there for an appointment. She was a frequent regular for common colds, so (Y/N) recognized her instantly. 

        “Hi, Ms. (L/N)! Please get better soon, Doctor Ryan’s handwriting is too messy! I like yours better!” she smiled.

        “Hey! It’s not messy, you just can’t read the prescriptions because it’s long words!” Doctor Ryan laughed.

        “Still bad.” The kid smiled. 

        “Oh whatever.” Doctor Ryan chuckled from behind the camera, ending the video.

        The kid was right, Doctor Ryan’s handwriting was bad. The kid would try to read the prescriptions on the paper but couldn’t read the big messy words, so (Y/N) would just simply write “cold medicine” so the girl could read it. 

        (Y/N) smiled, going through more and more videos as she chuckled and grinned at the kids, their thoughts and feelings, and seeing their current statuses. 

        She eventually got to the last video, the caption above saying it was recorded just eight hours ago, when (Y/N) was still sleeping in the hospital after surgery. 

        “Hi, Ms. (L/N)!” the patient with blonde hair smiled, revealing to be Hailey, lively and well.

        “I heard you’re unwell and I hope you get better really soon! I can’t wait to see you again and to read the books you lend me. Please get well soon, I miss you already!” Hailey smiled.

        “Wow, she looked to be getting better.” Andrew commented, pointing at the screen. “I wonder what happened…”

        Even though Hailey was lively and well, anybody with medical knowledge would know that she was doing bad.

        “Terminal lucidity.” (Y/N) answered. “Sometimes before you die, your brain acts out on a last defense. You gain more energy and strength; but it’s fruitless.” She explained.

        “Oh… that blows…” Andrew muttered.

        No wonder she seemed much more vocal and confident today than she did yesterday. He wondered if he died, would he act like that too before kicking the bucket? That must hurt for the loved ones who don’t understand. 

        “It does…” (Y/N) sighed, her mind going blank as she stared out in the distance.  

        When things become too much, it’s better not to think and just go on auto-pilot. It’s how (Y/N) went through her life when things became too much.

        It’s unhealthy, she knows that, but it helps her cope with reality. 

        She turned off the camera screen, burning a hole into her lap as she looked at the black screen. She spaced out, going motionless.

        Andrew noticed, unsure whether to speak up or not. She was obviously feeling distraught and he wasn’t sure if she should be wallowing in her feelings or not.

        Auto-pilot took over and decided it wanted her to cry. Tears started pouring down her face before she knew it, only causing Andrew to shift uncomfortably in his chair. He sighed, grabbing her hand and holding it. 

        “Hey… it’s okay.” Andrew spoke awkwardly. 

        “No, it’s not.” She spoke, her voice cracking. “All these kids, they shouldn’t have to go through this so young. They shouldn't be in pain or dying.” 

        It’s admirable, her care for others. It must take a good heart to do that, always worrying about others instead of herself. Andrew wondered if he was like that before all this happened. Was he a good person before he jumped and lost most of his memory? 

        No, probably not. This is reality, not a dream. He doubts that he was a good person, judging by the way he acted with Ashley the past three months he could remember. His parents ignored his calls, his girlfriend broke up with him on the phone, and he killed multiple people and even ate his neighbor!

        Yeah, definitely not a good person.

        “There, there…” Andrew muttered awkwardly, squeezing her hand hesitantly. “Sometimes things just happen?”

        “But they shouldn’t happen to kids. They’ve been brought in this world just to get taken out when life has barely even started for them. These poor kids.” She cried, squeezing Andrew’s hand tightly for comfort. “They shouldn’t be wanted to die so early on. They should be enjoying life, not wondering when it’ll end.” 

        Normally, she’d just hide her feelings or bottle it up until she got home, but she can’t even go home and cry because she has a body to bury and a apartment to clean. 

        Life just keeps piling up on her more and more. It feels like a never ending cycle of pain. The only time she even feels happy now in reality, without sleeping, is seeing kids happy and smiling. How can she be happy if they keep dying? How can she be happy if these kids keep getting their happiness robbed?

        Andrew contemplated what he should do. Should he let her vent? Should he try and comfort her more? Should he offer her to shut up and shove advice down her throat? 

        He decided it was probably best to just comfort her, he’d rather not see her cry. She can be emotional outside of his vision. As much as he likes this nurse, he hates sensitive people; maybe he just doesn’t like seeing someone he favors crying. 

        Andrew sighed, reaching over and placing both his hands on her face, wiping the tears off her cheeks with his thumbs. 

        “Hey, don’t cry.” He spoke. “It doesn’t look good on you, you know?”         

        (Y/N) sniffled as she tried to speak. The muscles in her throat felt restricting, preventing her from putting them to use, so she only just shook her head.

        “That video showed Hailey saying that she wanted you to get better, right?” Andrew pointed out, wiping the tears into her skin. 

        (Y/N) nodded, unsure of where he was trying to go with this.

        “So, she knew you weren’t feeling good, even when she wasn't doing good herself She cares about your health. Do you think crying would make her happy?” Andrew questioned. “I think it would just worry her about you. You wouldn’t want her to worry about you, would you?” 

        (Y/N) shook her head, her shoulders shaking from her sobs. 

        "You were there for her when no one else was? Isn't that all that matters in a kid's final moments?" Andrew questioned.

        Andrew's right, at least they didn't die alone. Dying alone must be one of the worst ways to die, alone to succumb to your own thoughts and regrets of what could've happen and what did. It must be worse slowly deteriorating over time, at least dying quick you wouldn't be alone with your thoughts, but dying alone just leaves your thoughts, which slowly fade over time the more and more you stop living and just start existing, before even you lose that too. 

        Yeah, being alone sucks, (Y/N) can vouch for that. Coming home to an empty house with nobody to greet you, eating meals alone, waking up alone and going to sleep alone, shopping alone. It's kind of like dying alone in one way. You're just waiting for that time to come when eventually you stop doing those other things, so you just go on autopilot and wait. Of course, she could easily change all that by dating someone or getting a pet for at home, but it's just so exhausting trying to find a good person to spend the rest of your life with. 

        There's a reason so many people are single in the dating pool. Besides, she doubts anyone would want to date her with her work schedule; she sleeps in the day and either works at night or stays up at night on her days off. Let's not forget how she's constantly tired and depressed, dating someone like her would be such a buzzkill, you'd have to be desperate; at least that's what her mother said to her last time they met up for dinner. 

        (Y/N)’s tears stopped, realizing Andrew was right. Hailey wouldn’t want her crying, and if (Y/N) died, she wouldn’t want to be sad either.

        (Y/N)’s sadness was soon replaced with embarrassment once she realized she was crying. Crying in front of a man and have the audacity to rely on him for her own emotions. It only makes it worse that he was her patient. This must be wrong in some way to be touching her patient like this, considering Andrew isn’t in any need of reassurance she should be providing as his nurse. 

        She pushed him away rather quickly, wiping her own tears out of her eyes instead of him doing it for her. Andrew looked confused, mentally wondering if he did something wrong. 

        Why the sudden change?

        (Y/N) adverted her eyes from his face, feeling childish and insecure for crying in front of someone. Even if he was pretty handsome to her, she’d rather not see the pity, or any other sort of expression on his face. 

        Andrew felt a bit annoyed at the sudden change. He was just holding her and comforting her. She was even leaning against him and crying into his chest! Why did she suddenly push him away? Why did she suddenly not want him anymore?

        His eye unconsciously twitched, showing his mild annoyance as a tinge of insecurity washed over him. Before he could question the sudden change of heart, the door opened, Penelope walking into the room.

        Penelope’s face brightened once she saw (Y/N), before it dropped noticing Andrew. Penelope suddenly became skittish, playing with her fingers as she avoided Andrew’s gaze (glare). 

        “Um… Mr. Graves, you’re not supposed to be here at night. It’s protocol for patients to be in their rooms in the night.” Penelope muttered, her green eyes staring down at the white tiles. “Should I escort you back to your room?”

        “No.” He spoke quickly, wanting nothing to do with Penelope.

        Andrew looked back at (Y/N), his gaze softening just a bit as he looked a bit concerned for her. He didn’t want to leave her. What if she needed help with something? What if she cried some more? What if she needed him?

        Andrew mentally groaned, conflicted with his emotions. He unlocked his wheelchair and wheeled to the door, Penelope stepping to the side so he could pass by her. 

        “You can come back during visiting hours.” Penelope added quietly, resulting in a harsh glare from Andrew.

        If only looks could kill.

        Penelope watched as Andrew left the room, before she closed the door behind her for privacy.

        “Gosh, he’s just so intimidating…” Penelope groaned, taking a seat in the room’s guest chair. 

        “He’s not so bad…” (Y/N) hummed, smiling.

        (Y/N)’s not too sure why Penelope’s afraid of Andrew. Sure, he’s a man, but he’s not really intimidating. Perhaps she’s grown desensitized to him and his menacing aura. 

        Or you know, perhaps she just likes red flags. A killer cannibal certainly is a red flag, but that’s just a theory.

        Besides, what’s he gonna do with two broken legs? Punch her? Penelope just has to climb up on the hospital bed or take the stairs. 

        Penelope took in (Y/N)’s appearance, a frown making way on her face.

        "Oh, you poor thing!" she spoke, the words sounding degrading enough, especially after (Y/N) was just crying a few minutes ago. "Who could do such a thing to you?"

        "Who knows..." (Y/N) muttered, ignoring the sudden shock of anger shooting through her.

        She looked at Andrew. Why did Penelope look at Andrew? Yeah, she was searching for him to bring him back to his room, but did she have to advert her eyes and mutter like a damn school girl? 

        The sudden jealousy pissed (Y/N) off, why was she acting like this? Why did she care? What does Penelope even want?

        "Did you need something?" (Y/N) questioned, not doing too well to hide her annoyance.

        Luckily, Penelope was a bit oblivious, yet still seemed a bit on edge.

        "Oh, sorry... Well, before I speak, how do you feel? Do you need anything? Food or water? Painkillers?" Penelope questioned.

        "I'm doing fine..." (Y/N) spoke, gritting her teeth as she smiled.

        "Good. Well, did you hear the news about that patient? Andrew Graves?" Penelope questioned.

        "What about him?" (Y/N) questioned, glancing at Penelope suspiciously as another volt of jealousy shot through her. 

        "Well, I did some digging online, and I found out he's wanted!" Penelope spoke, her voice a bit too loud for her liking.

        "So?" (Y/N) questioned, already knowing this information, before she quickly switched up her attitude, realizing that wasn't an appropriate social response. "Wait, what? Wanted? Like, by the police?" 

        "Yes!" Penelope nodded, leaning closer to (Y/N) in her chair as she spoke. "Wanted for murder! They said he killed four people at their old apartment. Him and his sister, Ashley. They even said one of the bodies had meat cut off it and it was cut up in pieces! They found DNA and blood in their kitchen, on the counter and pots and silverware!" 

        Well, the police only has to worry about one sibling now... (Y/N) thought to herself. 

        (Y/N) stayed silent, unsure of what a functioning human would respond to this. Honestly, she's grown quite comfortable with the fact Andrew is a killer and a cannibal. 

        "I mean, that's just... vile! And disgusting! How could someone do that?" Penelope questioned, her face turning as green as her eyes. 

        "Why did they do it?" (Y/N) questioned.

        "H-huh?" Penelope questioned, surprised. "What do you mean? They kill four people and ate one! They must be insane or something." 

        "Let's not jump to conclusions. We don't know why they did it." (Y/N) spoke. "Penelope, we should know better than anyone else that people act out for reasons. We're nurses, we deal with mental breakdowns and patients lashing out all the time, and we know they have motives behind it." 

        "Yeah, but that's a medical setting, when something's generally wrong with them! Andrew seems stable enough!" Penelope spoke. "He must've knew what he was doing!" 

        "Peer pressure?" (Y/N) suggested. "Perhaps his act is a facade? We don't know a person's thoughts or feelings. For all we knew, they could've been in a dire situation. I mean, who just randomly kills four people in one day and run? Something must've happened."

        Penelope looked frustrated, her bottom lip pouting as she clenched her fists. "And? So? Why should we care?! He killed four people, you know! We need to call the police!"

        "No! You can't!" (Y/N) quickly shot up from the bed, flinching as she felt a stabbing pain in her stomach where her wound was. 

        "What? Why not?" Penelope questioned, surprised at the sudden outburst as she leaned back in her chair. "Why are you defending him? We're nurses! We need to help protect people. He could hurt someone else here!" 

        "No! You can't take him!" (Y/N) shouted, throwing the bedsheets off her and rushing to Penelope, ignoring the pain shooting throughout her body as she placed both of her hands on the arm chairs, caging Penelope in. "You can't do that! I won't let you."

        "W-what? W-why are you acting like this?" Penelope squeaked, her hands pressing together as she curled herself up in a ball, sinking herself down in her chair as she stared up at (Y/N), frightened.

        (Y/N) paused, realizing the sudden position she put herself in. Damn it! Why did she just lash out like that? She's never like this! Why can't she just let Andrew go? She needed to think of something quick to diffuse this situation and convince Penelope not to report Andrew.

        "Don't you understand? The police are just going to keep him here until he heals up to where he can go to jail. If you report him now and he's aware of that, he might snap and actually hurt people." (Y/N) spoke, trying to come up with a false reason. "You'll just enrage him and give him a motive to hurt others. He hasn't injured anyone severely these past days, only a few books and hits thrown because he was afraid of us recognizing him and calling the police."

        Penelope looked uncertain, contemplating whether she should listen to the younger and injured nurse in front of her. 

        "B-but—" Penelope started, but was cut off by (Y/N).

        "Penelope, please. Don't be an idiot. Don't do something so unfathomably stupid!" (Y/N) pleaded.

        Just make the idea look stupid. Just act like Penelope's the one being insensible. 

        "He could really hurt someone if the police come and tell him he's arrested. They're just going to explain that he's under arrest, and will be escorted to prison once the doctors deem him healthy enough to go. He'll just be here, drugged up from his surgeries, and that could cause him to not think sensibly, it'll make him more of a hazard to others. We can't afford that, Penelope." (Y/N) explained. 

        Penelope adverted her eyes, (Y/N)'s words seeming to sink into her as she started to appear ashamed of what she was previously proposing.        

        "So... what now?" Penelope questioned. "He's not going to be able to stay here long anyways. We have no emergency contacts to contact for him. He has no records inside our hospital. He can't even fill out any of our forms or such because of his amnesia, either that or he's pretending to not to know the information." Penelope explained. "He doesn't have health insurance or can't remember it, and I doubt he can afford the hospital bills if he can't even remember anything! He probably doesn't even know his banking information if he has it!" 

        “If we tell him that, it’ll be bothersome…” (Y/N) explained. “I mean… he could get mad and hurt someone.”

        “Exactly!” Penelope exclaimed. “I-I don’t know what to do! Should we bring this up to HR or the head nurse?” 

        “No.” (Y/N) spoke quickly. “I-I mean, c’mon? It’s hard to trust these so-called professionals. The hospital is notorious for its accidents and fatalities. I mean, we're all working here because we were rejected by other hospitals because of our questionable backgrounds and court filings! For gods sake, there’s an advisement a town from here that has a doctor suggesting anesthesia for depression and it has our hospital name on it! We can't trust the board for anything!"

        “But… what can we do?” Penelope questioned, feeling hopeless.

        “We’re the smartest nurses in this whole shithole,” (Y/N) spoke.

        Maybe it was an exaggeration, but she needed Penelope to believe her, or at least stop her from reporting Andrew so that he could escape.

        Why does she care so much about a wrongdoer? He should be in prison, he should pay for what he’s done, but for some reason there’s a stabbing sensation in her chest at just the thought of not seeing him again. The feeling was almost as painful as the bleeding wound she currently had.

        She needed new bandages, she’s been putting too much stress her body. She would ask Penelope, but she’d rather not stick around with Penelope any longer. Sure, having Penelope around would make it so she’s less likely to snitch, but there’s also the possibility that she could potentially catch (Y/N)’s unnatural behavior and go back on her words. 

        "I-I just... what if we're making the wrong choice? I can't stand the thought that someone can get hurt." Penelope spoke.

        (Y/N) almost felt sorry for the young nurse. The nurse was only three years older than her, yet she seems utterly more helpless in life than (Y/N). Penelope has a bad luck streak with everything. She's terrible at math and doing her taxes. She's terrible at thinking for herself. She's grown up from foster home to foster home. Every relationship she's been in has been disastrous. 

        (Y/N) would care if Penelope didn’t have such an unhealthy obsession about finding love. The whole reason she became a nurse was to try and nurse someone to health so they’d love her; it’s almost sad, really.

        “I just can’t believe it…” Penelope groaned, burying her face into her hands. “Why are the cute guys always so unstable?”

        Nevermind. (Y/N) doesn’t feel sad for her at all. Absolutely no pity. Void of emotion. She was almost considering the idea of murdering Penelope. Seriously, you're caring about how cute a guy is despite him being a major threat to your life? Should you really be focusing on a cannibal's looks. 

        (Y/N) decided to bite her tongue. There was no reason to start a fight (that, and maybe she's just a bit guilty of this as well...) It still didn't stop the bubbling pot boiled inside her stomach and chest as she glared at Penelope though. 

        “Penelope, can you go find my nurse? I need a new change of bandages.” (Y/N) grumbled, desperate for Penelope to leave her as she sat back down on her bed, wincing as she overstrained herself once more.

        Maybe cornering and intimidating a person while injured isn’t the best course of action.

        “O-oh, right! Sure!” Penelope spoke, popping up from her makeshift ball as she stood up from her chair. “Whats your nurse’s name? I’ll go find them.” 

        “I don’t know their name. I didn’t met them, only my doctor.” (Y/N) explained.

        “Oh, okay then. Well, I’ll ask around and see if I can find them.” Penelope spoke, walking to the door. “Door open or closed?” 

        “Close it.” (Y/N) answered.

        Penelope nodding, closing the door and leaving (Y/N) to her own devices. (Y/N) let out a sigh of relief that Penelope was gone; however, there were other things to worry about.

        She needed to figure out a way to solve the Andrew situation. She could talk to Andrew herself and see if he has any insurance. She might be able to judge if he’s lying or not about knowing anything, if Andrew’s a good liar or not, that is. 

        She almost felt compelled to leave her room and go to Andrew’s. She could tell him what happens; no health insurance means paying the full entirety of the bills, which could be five digits to possibly even six after all his car, special requests/needs, surgeries, and days he’s spent admitted.

        It’s fine… she just needs to sleep. She can deal with it another day. If she sleeps now, time will pass quicker and she can get discharged. 

        She closed her eyes, seeing nothing but darkness as she used her drawback to escapism once more, distancing herself from reality as she did her best not to think about her patient.

And chapter 5 is done! I do apologize for it being so long, I wasn't planning on it being so long but I guess I did get a bit carried away... Chapter 6 will have quite a bit of drama and new characters being introduced! Now I just have to get chapter 6 done... which I'm unsure of when will be done, but it's in the works already! Thank you for your patience and for reading, and I'm excited for you all to see the development of (Y/N) and Andrew!

Want more Andrew Graves content? Check out the Andrew Graves masterlist!

Inbox is OPEN for questions about the story and new plotlines/ideas, not for request!

Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, chapter 4, current chapter, chapter 6, Chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9 (in the works)

Want to listen to music while reading? Check out the Star Patient's Official Playlists! Multiple different playlists and genres!

[whateverisbeautiful]

How do you think Rick would react to another man being interested in Michonne when they first arrived to Alexandria back in season 6 ? How would you think he react now ?

Oh thanks for asking! I’ve rolled different scenarios around in my head over the years regarding this and wrote out my thoughts here. 😊⬇️

I always felt like even a scene or two (not a whole storyline) of a man showing clear romantic interest in Michonne pre-canon would have been interesting and realistic since Michonne is such an undeniable catch inside and out. In my mind, the main reason it didn’t happen is because Rick and Michonne were already operating so much like a couple in ASZ. That likely kept men from feeling they could pursue Michonne since she was clearly the most important woman in Rick’s life and already seemed practically married with kids to most people on the outside looking in.

I think if a man showed interest in Michonne when they got to ASZ in season 5, it probably would have subconsciously amplified Rick’s crash out during that ASZ arc. 😬 Like after already spiraling mentally & being in love with his son’s best friend and not knowing what to do, I think seeing another man try to swoop in on Michonne, would have had Rick on edge and acting up even more than he already was in Alexandria.

Rick already was feeling super protective of team family and I think he’d draw an even bigger line between TF and the Alexandrians. He’d think the divide he was making is just because he wants his people safe, but it would also be because he doesn’t want this new guy around Michonne like that. And I just know, even despite Michonne not falling for this new guy, Rick would still be finding it hard to focus whenever he saw Michonne around him, like…

I think even in the pre-canon days there was a part of Rick that was afraid of losing Michonne. And having a new guy pursuing Michonne would likely exacerbate that fear. That’s part of why Richonne’s s5 finale convo is such an important moment because Rick gets to hear Michonne confirm that he doesn’t have to fear losing her anymore because she’s with him no matter what.

If a man started pursuing Michonne in 6A, I think it would have accelerated Rick finally finding his moment to make his feelings known to her. Not in a rushed way or a way motivated just by jealousy, I just think seeing Michonne around this new guy would be Rick’s wake up call that life is way too short to not go after the woman he knows he’s in love with.

And the way Rick and Michonne always paired up for tasks, I think Rick would be making sure this new guy was never paired with them lol. And then once he had more power in ASZ, I feel like Rick would be recommending/assigning the new guy to go on those weeks long runs like the one Tara and Heath went on. 🤭 If he ever discussed the guy with Michonne, I think Rick would try to be “subtle” and take the angle of we don’t know these people and have to be careful. And if Michonne gave him the “we’re in here together” talk still, I could almost see Rick professing his feelings for her right then and there.

I also think by this point even Carl would be giving Rick unspoken looks like ‘alright dad, make your move because we can’t have this new guy coming along and interfering with our family.’ Daryl probably would also have a few more of those stomach-pat moments with Rick because Slick Rick would be wearing all his emotions on his face if he felt like he was going to lose his chance with Michonne.

Rick ultimately would want for Michonne to be happy and for him to be the man making her happy. So I think he’d make his feelings known quicker and he’d snap out of that Jessie mess quicker because it would be harder to distract himself with that situation when Michonne has some other guy pursuing her.

With TOWL, I have a short scene I envision in episode 3 about how Rick would react to seeing someone in the CRM flirt with “Dana.” It would never be a matter of Rick worrying about Michonne’s response to a guy flirting with her, but imo he definitely would be stepping in with that Sergeant Major energy to let the interested guy know he has somewhere else to be and it’s not around this new pretty consignee lol.

As to how Rick would react to someone showing interest in Michonne now, I think @nobleriver already put in great words the thoughts surrounding Rick and jealousy, which I agree with. I don’t think Rick and Michonne get jealous because they know what they have between each other is unbreakable.

No matter who showed interest (and I'm sure many would want to for both of them), Rick and Michonne would feel secure knowing no one can ever come between them. Although I can see Rick and Michonne still having some ‘step back’ energy with whoever was trying to flirtatiosuly approach one of them.

Like Rick would not hesitate to put someone in their place if they think they can shoot their shot with Michonne. But overall, when Richonne both said ‘I’m yours’ in that proprosal they meant that and they know and trust that the other meant it too.

So I think Rick and Michonne's reactions to others showing interest now would never be rooted in worry that someone is going to pull them away from each other. They know they’re forever loyal to each other. They’d just make sure the message was clear to outsiders that they are married and any attempts at breaking that will always be futile. 👌🏽

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Chapter 9

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there.

Roger: A collar of course. You’ve now been promoted from dogsbody to pet. Congrats.

Kate: Thank you! This is a cute collar…Hm, collar? Wait, didn’t I tell you to stop treating me like a dog?

(Geez, it’s such a lovely choker. A collar…)

When I glared at him and pouted, he just stared back with a pleased smile.

(...Roger reminds me of me of an innocent boy when he smile)

His usually tense, thick brows were relaxed, and his parted lips revealed his canines.

Why does seeing him smile make me feel happy too?

(...Also)

Since becoming Roger’s exclusive Fairytale Keeper, I haven’t been feeling anxious or confused. 

(Even if he’s teases me, I have someone with me, watching my growth)

(It makes it all worth it, and motivates me to work harder)

 (Though…I think Roger’s got me dancing in the palm of his hand)

Regardless, I’m happy with the changes I’ve been going through during my time with Roger.

(No doubt Roger’s getting to know me better with the time we spend together)

(It’s like exposing your research subject)

Me on the other hand—

(The more time I spend with Roger, the more mysterious he’s become)

(That’s why…I want to know more about him)

Kate: Roger, um…Can I get one more reward?

Roger: Oh, that’s rare coming from someone who tends to be reserved. Go ahead and say it.

Kate: The more time we spend together, the more I wonder why you chose to be with Crown. And then I start to wonder what you’re even researching at this point. That’s why, I want to know the reason why…

Roger: Are you asking as my exclusive Fairytale Keeper, or for your own personal interest?

Amber eyes expose my heart.

Kate: …Probably both.

As Fairytale Keeper, I record his “sins” as a Cursed One.

As for myself, personally— 

I wanted to know what made my chest throb sometimes.

I definitely had an interest in Roger.

But I couldn’t say what kind of interest.

Kate: Still, I don’t want to overstep any boundaries, like a past you don’t want to talk about. If you don’t want to, then we can forget…

Roger: Pfft, haha. You really are a sincere one. Sure, I got nothing to hide. Summarizing it would be a pain, so hope you don’t mind a long story.

I don’t mind +4 +4

You’re going to tell me?

We have a long trip back.

Kate: I don’t mind. Please tell me about you, Roger.

Roger: In that case, let me tell you a story for our ride back to London.

With that, his long tale began.

—Unlike the train that’s moving us forward, Roger’s story takes us back into the past.

Roger: My old man’s a doctor, you’ve met him before. So for as long as I could remember, going to his clinic’s been part of my daily routine. I’m the eldest of 5 brothers and sisters. That’s probably why my dad relied on me a lot. Before I knew it, I wanted to be a doctor.

(In the beginning, I did get the impression that Roger was like an older brother…)

Kate: So you’re the eldest sibling. No wonder you’re so good at looking after others… What were you like as a kid?

Roger: Haven’t really changed. I was a brat with a thirst for knowledge that’d steal my old man’s medical books and charts. Maybe it’s because he also did as he pleased, but he was a pretty tolerant guy. Most of the time, he’d laugh it off. However, I remember getting a real tongue lashing when I tried to read a certain piece of research without asking.

Kate: And that piece of research was…

Roger: “About Cursed Ones”.

Cursed Ones—A term I hadn’t even heard of until a few weeks ago, but am now familiar with.

Had I not stumbled upon them that night—I would never have known.

(Roger learned about it from his father’s clinic…)

Kate: But only a few people know that Cursed Ones exist, right?

That information is regulated, and both the existence of them and Crown is kept from the public.

(I became a Fairytale Keeper because I knew…)

Roger: My old man’s “a part” of that world. Well, he probably “noticed” while examining a patient.

Kate: …I see. Doctors do examine a variety of people. When your father scolded you, it was because it was information that shouldn’t be known to the public. He tried to keep it a secret from you.

Roger: Yeah. A kid’s curiosity’s dreadful. So I went and read everything I could about Cursed Ones without my old man knowing. Should’ve locked that all up in a safe. He’s disorganized.

Kate: …That’s how you had free access to medical books and charts. I mean, hehe, you’ve been the same since you were a kid.

Roger: I guess. Now onto the main part of the story. When I was nearly done reading through all the research on Cursed Ones. It got to the point where I wanted to meet the author of a document, “Alexander Taylor”. In my search, I found that he was formerly a doctor at Gracefield Royal Hospital. Turns out he was my old man’s coworker.

Kate: When you say formerly, do you mean he left the hospital?

Roger: Yeah. Not sure why.

Kate: Is that how you found him?

Roger: Found him sooner than I thought. When he left the Royal Hospital, my old man rented the Barel family conservatory in the outskirts out to him. I found out he was doing some research by himself there.

“Alexander Taylor” left the Royal Hospital to continue his own research on Cursed Ones.

The more I heard about him, the more my imagination grew.

Kate: Then you…

Roger: Yeah, of course I went to see him. It was late at night, after my old man went to bed. I snuck out by myself.

~~ Flashback ~~

—The conservatory was empty and filled with silence.

Except for a young man in a white lab coat named Alexander Taylor, who was researching Cursed Ones all alone.

Roger: My name is Roger Barel. I’m the eldest child of the Barel family. I’m interested in your research, so let’s be friends.

Alec: …Yeah, go home okay?

Roger: Ah, haha…so that’s how it is. Well I didn’t think this would be easy, but it’s worth the challenge.

Alec: …You’re an annoying kid.

Every time I visited him, he’d turn me away.

However, when Alec realized I knew about Cursed Ones, he gave up and took me in.

Alec: You’re so persistent…

Roger: Yeah, I’m the kind of guy that’ll do whatever it takes to get what he wants.

Alec: *sigh* I know. I give up. You can visit me here as long as you promise me one thing.

Roger: Yeah, I will! So from today on, we’re friends!

Being friends with him made me happier than I thought.

I grabbed Alec’s hand and swung it around.

That was the first time I saw him smile.

Alec: Heh, okay. We’re friends now. Nice to meet you little doctor.

~~ End Flashback ~~

Roger: After that, I started spending a lot of time with Alec at the conservatory. He was my first friend.

There was affection in his voice as he muttered nostalgically. 

Roger: Even though I was a kid, I knew Alec was a very brilliant man. That’s why I couldn’t understand why he left the Royal Hospital. I was skeptical that he was just doing research on Cursed Ones, hidden away in a conservatory.

~~ Flashback ~~

There was a time when I asked him— 

Roger: Hey, Alec. Why are you researching Cursed Ones in a place like this? They’re born all around the world, but hard to come by. Wouldn’t it have been better to do something like establish a treatment center for cancer since it’s incurable? Then the world would know just how talented you are!

Alec: Perhaps. But I’m willing to throw my position, reputation, and money away for this research.

As he said that, he looked off into the distance with a sad look.

Alec: Someone might eventually find a cure for cancer…but I’m certain no one would find one for curses. The voices of the minority tend to get drowned out. That’s why I have to listen carefully.

Roger: Hmm. You’re great for working so hard for others.

Alec: I’m not that good of a person, Roger. I just don’t want my soul to rot away.

~~ End Flashback ~~

Roger: Whenever I went to see Alec, it was always at an appointed time. He didn’t let me come by at any other time. There was a day when I went to see him at the appointed time…But no matter how long I wanted, he never came back. …So I just kept waiting.

Roger’s lips drew tight as if to swallow back his hoarse voice.

Kate: …Something happened.

Roger: Yeah. Alec burst into the conservatory with police after him.

~~ Flashback ~~

Suddenly, the door to the conservatory was thrown open.

Alec: Roger…Why. I thought you went home.

Roger: …Alec, what’s with the police? What’s wrong, what happened?

Police with black hair: Alexander Taylor, former doctor of the Royal Hospital, you are under arrest for being the prime suspect in organ trafficking!

Roger: Organ trafficking? Alec? Alec would never do something like that…!

Police with brown hair: What’s with this child? Is he involved in some way?

Police with black hair: Let’s bring this kid in as a witness.

The police officer reached out for me.

Roger: Stop it.

Alec: …

Alec—he saved me by touching the top of the police officers’ heads.

In an instant, their hands were smacked together.

As if in prayer.

Police with brown hair: W-what? I can’t move my hands apart…

Roger: …Special ability… Alec…you’re…a Cursed One?

Police with black hair: M-monster! Hey, kid with glasses, do you have anything to do with this?

Roger: Of course. Alec’s my fr—

Alec: …Roger. …Our promise?

Roger: Ah.

~~~~ Flashback within a flashback ~~~~

Alec: You can visit me here as long as you promise me one thing.

Roger: Promise?

Alec: If anyone asks about our relationship, reply with this. “We’re not friends. That person and I are complete strangers.”

Roger: What’s with that weird promise? Well, I guess it’s embarrassing to be friends with a kid like me.

Alec: …Yeah, let’s go with that. Promise me, Roger.

~~~~ End flashback within a flashback ~~~~

I was a child then, but I realized the meaning of that promise.

Roger: T-that person…and I… “We’re not friends. That person and I are complete strangers.”

Alec: …Thank you. —"That’s enough.“

[georgeclarkewifey]

Inconvenience | g. clarke

Chapter 5 - The Bach and Arthur Podcast

Summary: Noa spills all in an eventful episode of her favourite podcast

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: swearing (I think that’s all of them? lmk if you think there should be more xxx)

noamurphy

liked by arthurtv, italianbach and 18,938 others

noamurphy Issac wouldn’t smile for the photo :(

but hey, catch me on the Bach and Arthur podcast where I talk about literally anything and everything (sorry Chris)

Comments open

italianbach i look so cool

chrismd10 what do you mean sorry Chris??

⮑ noamurphy guess you’ll have to watch and find out ;)

⮑ chrismd10 Noa…

⮑ noamurphy Christopher…

arthurtv best episode yet id say

⮑ noamurphy yeah bc I was there

⮑ maxbalegde useless hotline when??

⮑ noamurphy 👀

⮑ fan NOA WHAT DOES THIS MEAN????

fan1 the silence from George is LOUD

⮑ fan2 yes!!! Bc why is the entire uk yt scene following her except for him???

⮑ fan3 speculation 👏 means 👏 nothing 👏

⮑ noamurphy fan3 speaking facts

gkbarry_ everyone prepared to get jealous bc I’m meeting her tomorrow

⮑ noamurphy giggling and kicking my feet like a child

⮑ arthurhill can confirm this

⮑ taliamar can I come 🥺👉👈

⮑ gkbarry_ noamurphy odds on making it a London girlies meet up?

⮑ noamurphy let’s do it x

⮑ gkbarry_ freyanightingale consider yourself invited

⮑fan4 this meet up is going to be legendary

“Welcome back to the Bach and Arthur Podcast, where we have a very special guest, please welcome the very cool Noa Murphy!” Arthur introduced, grinning as Noa moved onto the set.

She sat opposite Arthur and Issac, relaxing into the plush sofa. “Hello hello, thanks for having me.”

“You’re very welcome, to be honest I’ve wanted you to come on ever since you moved.” Arthur said.

“What can I say, I’ve got some great stories to tell of our childhood in Jersey.”

“Please tell me you have embarrassing child Arthur stories.” Isaac begged, adjusting the microphone in front of him.

“Oh of course I do.” She replied, grinning mischievously at Arthur, who closed his eyes.

“How am I regretting having you on already?” Arthur asked.

“Maybe you should give yourself a small introduction, so those who are watching who may not know who you are?” Isaac suggested.

Noa nodded, and waved at the camera. “Hi! I’m Noa, I grew up in Jersey with Arthur, and the even more famous Chrismd, and I’m currently working as an architect.”

“God you’re instantly cooler than all of us.” Isaac replied, glancing at Arthur and shaking his head.

“I mean I’ve got a law degree-“

“But you’re not an actual lawyer.”

“But I trained-“

“But you quit two months in.”

Arthur sighed. “Fine.”

“So, growing up in Jersey? What was it like?”

Noa smiled fondly, leaning back in the chair. “Even though it was small, I did really enjoy my childhood ya know? There’s been times where I’ve thought I was a bit hard done by, like missing out on being near London, and all the cool stuff there, but at the same time, as a kid who was fond of the outdoors, being able to run around in fields for hours on end was really good for me.”

“All fine until you encounter a bull.” Arthur added, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

“I’m sensing a story…” Isaac said, leaning closer to the mic with a smile.

Noa rolled her eyes playfully and looked at Arthur. “Shall I tell the story or do you want to?”

“You’re the guest, all yours.”

Swiping a few stray hairs away from her eyes, Noa smiled fondly and set about telling the story. “So, next to the roads where Arthur, Chris and I lived, there were loads of farmers fields - some had crops in, but the majority of them were grazing pastures for cows.”

“Jersey cows, one of the main things we’re known for.”

“Exactly. And so as kids, we’d run around these fields whenever they were empty, which would be a couple of weeks to a month on rotation. The farmer knew we did this, he didn’t really care so long as we weren’t in with the cows.” Noa said, exchanging knowing smiles with Arthur.

“So one summer, I think I was about 12? So Arthur and Chris were 15,16 maybe, and we’re running around these as we do, with the other kids in the neighbourhood. And it’s getting late, so before we go home, what we would do is we’d go up to the fence within the field, to try and feed the cows, Arthur even had a favourite.”

“He what?”

“Oh my god, Moovis! How could I forget about her!”

“You named a cow, Moovis?” Isaac asked, slowly turning to look at Arthur.

He shrugged. “She was cute, and she liked me, so I thought why not?”

“So we went up to this fence as usual, but for some reason the herd wasn’t in the adjacent field, which we all thought was weird, so we decided to investigate.”

“Hindsight shows that we should never have done that.”

“So we all climb over into this field, and start exploring. I think we got about halfway across when we realised why there weren’t any cows in that field.”

“I’m really scared about what’s going to happen next.”

“There were bulls. No cows because there were about five bulls in the field.”

“Honestly, it was one of the most terrifying moments of my life.” Arthur insisted, nodding furiously. “The fear that went through me was insane. I think I’m still apprehensive to go in fields with cows now after this.”

“So we then have to get out, but we’re trying to creep backwards in the hope that they haven’t seen us, and that we can escape without dying.”

“I’m guessing that something went wrong?” Isaac asked.

“So as we’re backing it towards the fence, this fucking massive bull spots Chris, who’s wearing his bright red Arsenal shirt, and does the normal thing and starts charging. Which prompts the rest of them to start charging us. So, we are all scared to death, sprinting for our lives - I’m pretty sure Kelly, Chris’ sister and Chris were both holding my hands and dragging me along, because eleven year old me could hardly keep up.”

“That sounds deeply traumatic.”

“Trust me, it was.” Arthur said, looking a little pale.

“Then as we get to the fence, I reckon they were about ten metres behind, so we throw ourselves over, and as we tumble over, poor Chris landed headfirst into a cowpat.”

Isaac’s jaw dropped, and slowly formed into a grin as he looked between Noa and Arthur. “You’re kidding.”

“She isn’t.” Arthur confirmed, biting his lip in an attempt to grin too much. “He then started screaming about how he had cow shit in his hair and all over his face.”

“So we did the sympathetic thing and laughed at him, because we were all so high on adrenaline and were just happy to be alive.”

“That might just be the best story that’s been told on the podcast yet.”

“I think I have to agree, poor little ChrisMD.”

“He complained the entire way back, and then to make it even better, we had to hose him down, because his mum didn’t want him coming inside with shit covered hair.” Noa added, grinning. “He stank for a couple of days though, he had to play Sunday league smelling like a cow’s arse.”

————————————•————————————

“So, Noa - the question everyone wants us to ask, are you ever going to do content creation?” Isaac asked, glancing over to Noa, who was happily curled up in the chair, cupping a fresh mug of hot chocolate.

She sighed. “It’s a complicated thing - I’ve obviously got my regular job, to which I am very happy in - my project is going well, which is always a plus.”

“For those who don’t know Noa is a really cool architect.”

“Arthur is exaggerating, I’ve just started at my dream firm and this is my first proper project.”

“But you’ve got a Masters degree, yeah?”

Noa nodded, rolling her eyes at Arthur. “Yes. Distinction in Modern Architecture with a Special Specialisation in Greco-Roman Architecture, is the full title I believe.”

“And it’s from Cambridge.”

“And that.”

“So, vlogging, TikTok? Are we going to see you there in the future?” Isaac questioned, trying to steer the conversation back onto the right track.”

“Right, yeah. I have considered it definitely, seeing as nearly everyone I know is a creator. But I’ve really considered the pros and cons, the biggest factor being that I don’t know how to edit, and I don’t really have it in my budget right now to pay an editor.”

“But if you found something that you were good at would you?” Arthur pressed, exchanging a glance with Isaac. “Because we must admit, we both think you’d make really good kinda micro-vlogs, or just really minimalistic ones.”

“Yeah, like they’re only like, ten, fifteen minutes long and it’s just your entire week, and it’s just you doing your normal routine.”

Noa raised her eyebrows. “You guys genuinely think that people would watch that?”

“Hell yeah! Even if there’s hardly any voice over, and you kinda just have some gentle music over your soft footage almost?” Arthur suggested.

“I mean, I’ll consider it. If people would genuinely watch it then yeah, I would probably start doing something like that.”

“You’d want it to be manageable.”

“Oh for sure, because it’s got to come after my job, and I’d also feel a bit weird if I become that one coworker that does YouTube or TikTok.”

“I mean, that was me. And I was working at a law firm.” Arthur added, trying to convince Noa more.

“Well on that subject, how did you get into architecture? Was it something you were always into?”

Arthur gave Isaac a slightly panicked look - this wasn’t something they had planned to talk about. He glanced at Noa, who didn’t seem too phased about the question.

“I mean, kind of? It was my special interest as a kid, aside from other things, and it was always fostered whenever we’d go on family trips to literally anywhere, because I’d just be walking round a city staring at all the buildings. That’s also how I was nearly run over by a bike as a child.”

“Stepped into the road without looking?”

“Indeed I did. Always look where you’re going kids.” Noa said, pointing down the camera lens that was focused on her. “So yeah, when I was applying for uni I knew that it was what I wanted to do.”

“That’s pretty cool. Would you ever design a house for one of us? You know, if we paid you enough?” Isaac questioned jokingly, raising an eyebrow at her.

Noa huffed, taking a sip of her hot chocolate. “Maybe? It would have to fit the style of what I enjoy designing, but maybe.”

“You hear that Sidemen? You want a new house, get Noa to design it.”

author speaks: hello! I’m back! Sorry for the break in updates, moving out of uni took a lot of my time, therefore hardly any time to write :(

but I’m back now, so we vibin 😎

[hedgehog-moss]

Top 10 Best Trees in my local forest

10. I know I know this is a stump hence why it’s #10, but I love that it looks like the outline of a person’s body. A person that was drawn and quartered apparently. I should do a Top 10 Stumps one day, I’ve seen some cool ones!

9. Another stump, but I initially wanted to include this one in my top 10 as a tree, and then it was felled recently :( It was one of my favourite local trees because it had such big roots (larger than most nearby trunks!) that emerged from the ground here and there like undulating sea serpents. I was sad when it was cut but on the other hand it had the sweetest-smelling resin in the world. It was a very windy day so the smell travelled everywhere, and this tree’s fresh resin made the entire forest smell like candy floss.

8. I just like that this one looks like a busy giant centipede crossing the stream on its way somewhere. I’ve always wanted to use it as a bridge but so far I’ve not dared.

7. This one looks like it belongs in a jungle with these thick vines all over its trunk. I had the Playmobil jungle set when I was a kid and it was one of my favourite toys and I would have absolutely loved to find a jungle tree near my home.

6. This tree already looks cool during the day, but at night by torchlight these scaly-looking roots look exactly like a T-rex’s paw clawing at the ground. It’s a mandatory stop every time I go on a nighttime walk in the forest with my cats.

5. This one is unremarkable most of the year but then there’s 1 week every autumn when it just catches fire and it’s a happily-anticipated yearly event (for me).

4. Yes I’ve already made a post about the remarkable tree but I actually went to check it out since then, and it’s the most ridiculous story. 

See, there used to be a genuinely remarkable tree there and it was known as the King of the Forest. Then this tree was felled like 70 years ago but the road sign was already there, so they decided it would now refer to a nearby, nearly-as-cool-tree, which became known as the Queen of the Forest. Then the queen was also cut down. There were no other remarkable trees nearby but people still refused to remove the sign so a normal boring tree became the new remarkable tree. There’s a little sign next to it (otherwise you wouldn’t remark the new remarkable tree) explaining that this is the Viceroy of the Forest (yes, really!) and sort of summing up how this ordinary fellow came to be promoted. I didn’t take a picture of it, that’s how unremarkable it is, but I love the story behind its Viceroy title, it’s exactly this:

3. Now, this one is in the top 3 because it’s my cats’ favourite tree:

Its trunk has completely split in two and one half of it fell over but remained attached and now forms a very long arching “tongue” that touches the ground. My cats LOVE walking on it, it seems to make them feel very important, like a red carpet for cats. Unfortunately I don’t have any photos featuring cats doing their catwalk because they only accompany me at night... But look at this strange tree arch (it’s like six metres long!) and picture three important-looking cats walking on it:

2. This one is shaped like a harp!! A very beloved landmark in my woods, it makes me smile every time I walk past it.

1. This one is just excellent, green-tipped like a Caran d’Ache pastel pencil and with roots that look like they harbour a whole city of little wood sprites. (ft. a Pandolf for scale):

1. (it’s a tie) This tree might not be as cool or fun-looking as the others (although in winter it looks dashing!) but it’s the tree that marks the beginning of my land so it feels like a welcoming friend. For sentimental reasons it will be ranked first.

[peanutpinet]

haii! I saw that you request is open. i want to request with mafia!jaehyun x wife!reader. Jaehyun and your brother (johnny) are known have died, killed by their rivals. unknowingly you're having a child years later, and when the other group saw, they wanted to kill both of you.

suprisingly, you were saved by nct and you mad at them being shadows and hide themselves from you for years especially jaehyun and johnny. so, (especially) jaehyun and the others regaining your trust back and want to be a dad in your child live, you're slowly trust him and others again (maybe there's an incident or something that jaehyun almost being killed cause he saved you and/or child(?)). thank you

Back For You - Mafia! Jaehyun x Wife! Fem Reader (ft Older Brother Johnny)

HAPPY 2024 EVERYONE!! I HOPE THAT EVERYONE HAD A GREAT JANUARY (jokes on me for saying happy new year but posting this at the end of January) I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING MIA BUT I was away for a 2-week holiday which took a lot out of me. Don't worry, I've tried to write a bit and while this isn't my best writing since I'm still trying things, I hope that the anon who requested this and those who are reading will still enjoy it!! Manifesting a better year for everyone!!

A/N: hi anon, thank you for requesting, it means a lot that you like my writing :(( coincidentally, I have been reading a few nct fics about the reader having the neos’ child but the neo never knew that they had a child. I do want to point out that this specific mafia story won’t be included in the mini mafia universe that I’ve made as the timeline doesn’t really match but I will make another Jaehyun mafia fic in the same mafia universe that I’ve created!

Also, to the anon who requested the Johnny & TY mafia, Jisung mafia, thank you guys for being patient but I am going through my requests (actually shocked I have several of requests because I didn't think my writing would be enjoyable without a smut sometimes). Also, also! TY's girl is making an appearance in the next two mafia fics and her name is Kim Eunji because I used this name for my translated version of TY's first mafia fic over on my Wattpad. Okay, onto the story!

Warnings: suggestive, angst, mentions of pregnancy and child birth, gunshots, blood, lil fluff

It took 5 years of trying to heal yourself from your loss. 5 years to finally be able to accept that it was now just you and your son, Yuno together. 5 years since your husband and brother, Jaehyun and Johnny respectively were reported to have died in a car accident. But those 5 years of acceptance and peace were soon ripped in a matter of seconds.

You were just picking up your son from daycare who was one of the last kids there because you had to finish your shift but when you had just arrived, you saw several black SUVs that came from around the corner.

At first you didn’t think much about it because you have never been associated with anything illegal nor have you done anything wrong in your life.

But right when you picked up your son and headed out, there were several men who came out of the SUVs and stopped in front of you and your son.

Instinctively, you held your son tighter to you as one of the men came towards you, mentioning a name that you have not heard in the past 5 years of your life.

“Are you Jung (Y/N), wife of Jung Jaehyun and younger sister of Johnny Suh?” one of the men questioned which made you wrap your arms around your son, your motherly instinct moved him behind you

“And who are you to ask?” you hissed but the man just chuckled until you noticed the other men surrounding you and your son

“We’d just like to ask you several questions about your husband and older brother. So if you would come with us and have a little chat…” the man mentioned, looking at your son. “We wouldn’t want the kid to see something that he wouldn’t want to see, now would we?”

“Mommy…” your son called out to you but you wouldn’t let him come out from behind you

“I don’t know how you know my name, my deceased brother and husband’s name but as far as I know, none of us have any association with people like you. And plus, like I’ve mentioned, my brother and husband are both dead. If there were any debts that they may have, their lawyer would’ve said something to me years ago” you tried your best to sound brave but in reality you feared what may happen to you and your son; especially when some of the men came closer

“You should come while we’re being civil” the man scoffed as he commanded the other men to take out some of their weapons as you shielded your son from the scene he might witness

But somehow, as if your husband has been protecting you even before your marriage, there were other men who came and took down all the men that were surrounding you before they could even do anything to you or your son.

Amongst the men who helped you, there was one with white/silver hair and black tint underneath. He walked past everyone and stood in front of you, his eyes was big but his eyebrows made him have a more strict look.

What he did next was what you didn’t expect. The man kneeled to your son’s level and even called him by his name. “Hey, you must be scared, aren’t you? I’m Taeyong. You can call me uncle Tae. I know your father very well. You have his dimples and eyes but have your mom’s smile. You’re a brave boy like your dad”

“You know Jaehyun?” You asked as Taeyong looked at you, his eyes turned soft and even looked like he was sorry when he stood back up to face you

“I think he and Johnny should be the one to tell you everything. I have no right to get in between family business” Taeyong mentioned while you stood in shock

“W-what do you mean that he and Johnny…” you stuttered but Taeyong continued before you got to finish your sentence. “They’re alive. Both of them. We found them 5 years ago, barely breathing and they were both in a coma for almost a whole year but enough of that, how about I…”

“How do I know that you’re not using them to get to me or something? For all I know you could be working with those people from before or something” you questioned, making Taeyong sigh until you heard the very voices that you thought you would never hear ever again

“(Y/N)!!!” You heard Jaehyun shout and turning around, you saw Jaehyun, your husband and Johnny, your older brother; both of whom you thought were dead were now in front of you

“H-hey, hey” Jaehyun came and held you in his arms, pulling you to his chest as you sobbed whereas Johnny came to hug his nephew

“Sssh, I’m here. I’m so sorry. I’m alive. We’re alive” Jaehyun tried to calm you down but you broke down even more and hit his chest, pushing him away as your tears covered your vision

“How could you! Both of you!!” You screamed at both men who lied to you for the past 5 years. Both men whom you cherished close to you and mourned hard when you heard about their car crash and no bodies were found 5 years ago

“I cried for both of you. I mourned you both. I had to go through pregnancy and birth on my own. I did everything alone for the past 5 years. Y-you both don’t get to just waltz back in as if nothing happened” you cried, even falling to the ground as your son rush to your side, hugging you

“Sweetheart. Little flower” both Jaehyun and Johnny said at the same time, both coming closer but your son stood in front of you

“H-hey lil peach…” Jaehyun uttered, about to kneel down to your son’s height but just like Jaehyun, your son was overly protective of you ever since he was just 2 years old

“Go away” your son shouted as you tried to calm him but he kept on going. “Don’t make my mom cry”

“Lil peach, I’m not gonna…” Jaehyun tried to reach out to his own son but he was rejected. “No!!”

“You made my mom cry! I don’t want mommy to cry anymore!” Your son shouted but you quickly hugged him, calming him down. “Hey, hey. Jeong Yuno, what did mommy teach you?” you mentioned your son’s name, making Jaehyun tear up a bit because you named your son after his name

“Don’t shout at anyone. Don’t shout to your elders, okay? Especially your dad and uncle” you stroke your son’s head who looks at you with the same worried eyes as Jaehyun’s

“I don’t want you to cry anymore mommy. I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t mommy sad. I want mommy happy” your son mentioned, making both Jaehyun and Johnny’s hearts clench

“Mommy’s not sad. Don’t worry, mommy’s okay” you cooed your son, hugging him close to you as you lift him up

“(Y/n)…” Jaehyun uttered, trying to reach for both you and your son

“Don’t…I, I can’t deal with this. I want to go home” you mentioned, your voice was clearly tired

“It’s not safe for you to go back home” Jaehyun mentioned. “Then where am I supposed to go Jaehyun?!” You argued back, Jaehyun clenching his fists

“We’ll take you back somewhere safe. Somewhere no one can find nor touch either of you. Somewhere I should’ve brought you to a long time ago” Jaehyun mentioned, directing to you one of the cars

“Little flower…” Johnny breathed but you walked past him, carrying your son tightly and protectively in your arms

“Know that I’m only going with you guys for my son’s safety and not because I’ve forgiven either of you just yet” you uttered, going into the car as Taeyong closed it before it went off

“Get some rest. Both of you. You can talk to her tomorrow” Taeyong mentioned, heading to his own car

“Hyung!” Jaehyun called out to Taeyong

“I told you that you both that you should’ve gone back to her back then. I kept my side of the promise and took care of her when you both went on that mission. But you broke your side of the promise to go back to her” Taeyong stated, looking at his two members

“I understand during the first year because you both were brutally injured from the accident but afterwards?” Taeyong reminded. “I don’t mean to butt into your family business but if either of you forgot, your wife and sister was pregnant and about to give birth when you guys were already awake from your coma. Regardless of your reasoning, both of you should’ve gone back to her. Losing two of your loved ones during pregnancy and birth is not easy and the fact that she went through all of that alone makes me respect her so much”

“I suggest you both discuss on your own. I can only do so much by ensuring her safety. You both already lost the past 5 years with her. Don’t lose her as well” Taeyong advised

Throughout the ride back to NCT’s penthouse, both Jaehyun and Johnny discussed how they were going to try and approach you. Johnny saying that he wants to approach you first because he is your only related family member left and he wants to make sure that you know he will always take care of you somehow.

But Jaehyun wanted the three of you to just sit down and talk so none of you misunderstood one another. Both Jaehyun and Johnny kept debating until they reached the room that Taeyong provided for you and your son.

Softly, Jaehyun knocked on the door, worried that he might accidentally wake you and your son but luckily you were still awake and answered the door.

Upon opening the door and seeing Jaehyun and Johnny, your first instinct was to shut it close but knowing both your husband and brother, you might as well talk it out with them and get it over with.

“What do you guys want?” you questioned, your voice coming out strong and rough, your eyes and nose were still red from all the crying

“Can we talk? The three of us. We owe you a full explanation about what happened and everything” Johnny mentioned, hoping that you’d give him and Jaehyun a chance to explain for themselves

“Not in here. I just put Yuno to sleep. He wouldn’t sleep until I fall asleep” you replied and hearing your reply, Jaehyun wanted to hug you and let you know that he never meant to leave you alone but he restrained himself until you finally accepted his apology and allowed him to be back in both you and your son’s life

“Let’s go next door then, it’s my room” Johnny suggested and you nodded in agreement

You came to find out that your room was situated between Johnny and Jaehyun’s room with Johnny being right next door and Jaehyun across your room.

Inside Johnny’s penthouse, you were welcomed with the modern but minimalistic interior with several additions of rare collectables which you knew your brother had been very fond of since young. You took in his entire place until you saw several framed pictures of him, Jaehyun, some of their other friends and even with you framed in the center amongst the other pictures.

“Do you still like your tea with 90% milk and sugar?” Johnny asked, already at the pantry, brewing up your favourite tea for you

“Yea, I can’t have too much caffeine during the night anyways” you replied, accepting the tea from your brother

“So, you guys going to explain yourselves on leaving me for the past 5 years?” you questioned, looking down at your husband and brother who sat across you

To say you were speechless was definitely an understatement because as much as you tried to understand their point of views, you became angrier than before. Ever since your brother was in high school, he had already been in the mafia and as for your husband, Jaehyun officially became apart of it when he almost graduated high school.

Not only were they able to keep this secret life from you for the past 10+ years, but the fact they also hide themselves for the past 5 years all because they were scared to face you when they were still injured just didn’t make sense to you.

“What the fuck do you mean that you were scared to face me?!” you shouted, standing up from the sofa, angry at both your brother and husband

“Flower, we wanted to back to you, I swear. We were just caught up with other things…” Johnny tried to reason. “We were both badly injured and barely able to process anything…”

“But you got back up. You could’ve come to me. Your friends could’ve said something. I want to understand you but I can’t. Do you know how hard it was when I found out I was pregnant but before I could tell either of you, I saw your car crash on the news. I almost lost my baby. I almost lost my son that day too if it weren’t for your mom coming over to visit me early in the morning” you rambled on, making both Johnny and Jaehyun even more guilty

“Does your mom even know, Jaehyun?” you asked but received no answer from him

“I’m leaving” you let out which made both Johnny and Jaehyun immediately stood up, blocking your way

“I mean I’m leaving this room and going back to see my son. I can’t be in the same room with either of you right now” I pointed out, about to head to the door but a hand grabbed my wrist and from the touch, I knew that it was Jaehyun

“(y/n)…dimple…” Jaehyun let out that nickname he used to call me those years ago

The nickname that he gave me because he would always mention how he consider me as his dimple because his dimple is a part of him and he would always consider me as a part of him. I believed it, until he disappeared and reappeared back.

“Don’t call me that, Jeong” I hissed back, tears were threatening to spill again

“I swear I wanted to come back to you. Both me and Johnny. Me especially. I know what we did was horrible towards you and I’m not asking you to forgive and accept us back immediately but I just hope…” Jaehyun sighed. “I hope that you would at least let me into Yuno’s life. Let me be the father and husband I should’ve been all those years that I was gone”

Immediately, you ripped your arm away from Jaehyun and looked at him with anger and frustration. “You both got badly injured during and needed a year to fully recover fine. Your friends/members not coming to tell me anything about you because it’s classified, fined. But not telling your own mother and letting her, me and our son to believe that you were dead is beyond me. I don’t need words, Jeong. Neither does Yuno. All we wanted was for you to be there but you weren’t. You’re basically 5 years too late”

“I know” Jaehyun let out a shaky breath. “I, we, didn’t mean to lie to you and not come back sooner. We wanted to tell you but we were just waiting for the right time because we wanted to protect you long enough until we weren’t heavily involved anymore”

“Protect? Protecting me from those who were against you or protecting yourself from what might happen if you had told me before you disappeared?” you sighed

“You know what hurts more? Not when I lost both of you and almost lost Yuno that day. But the fact that I can’t hate either of you. I want to hate you both but I can’t. Because I know what it feels like growing up without a parent figure. I tried so hard to be that parent figure for Yuno but I could never replace his dad” you said, making Jaehyun more hopeful

“Don’t think that I’ve forgiven either one of you just yet. But I’m not as cruel as you to not see Yuno or try to be the father and uncle he should’ve had since he was born” you opened the door, ready to go back to your son. “I’m saying that you both can try your best to come back to our lives, but I can’t guarantee that either one of us would accept you. You might be the father Jaehyun but I was the one that took care of him the past 5 years and from what you’ve seen, our son doesn’t even consider you his dad even when I’ve told him and showed him pictures of you. Good night, Jaehyun, Johnny”

You left both men to the quiet and chill room with the loud noise of their own thoughts and guilt.

Despite leaving both Jaehyun and Johnny on a bad note, the two accepted your anger and instead, hearing you let out your own emotion fueled them to try their best to do whatever it took to get both you and Yuno’s apology.

The next morning, right when you were about to leave and bring Yuno to daycare, both Jaehyun and Johnny were right in front of your door as you came out with your son.

“Geezus, can you guys not this early in the morning?!” you sighed as your son gripped your hand tighter

“Sorry. We didn’t want to disturb your morning so we waited out here. But we got some breakfast sandwiches for both of you and caramel latte for you” Jaehyun mentioned, handing you the bag which you accepted

“Thanks. If there isn’t anything else, I really need to go and take Yuno to daycare and I also need to go to work” you mentioned, about to walk past both men but they stopped you before you could take another step

“What is it this time?” you asked, raising your eyebrow

“Sorry lil sis, I don’t think you should be going to work anymore” Johnny said, making you scoff. “You might be my older brother but you don’t have the rights to tell me what I can or cannot do”

“Johnny’s right (y/n). Those men the other day know who you are. It would only take time before other people would find you or Yuno and neither me nor Johnny wants that to happen again” Jaehyun replied, looking at you with those damn worried eyes

“If I don’t work then how am I supposed to afford a living?” you argued, challenging both Johnny and Jaehyun

“We’re both here now. We’ll fund everything. Especially me. I’m going to fun for both you and Yuno. I want to be the father that Yuno deserves to have. You can push me or Johnny away as much as you want but we will still try to squeeze ourselves back into both of your lives” Jaehyun mentioned and hearing his tone, you know how stubborn Jaehyun is going to be

Sighing, you agreed to not go to work and let your boss know that you have to quit so suddenly because of a family issue.

“Fine. I won’t go to work. But I’m not going to let my…”

“Our son” Jaehyun mentioned, making you roll your eyes. “Our son not go to school” you finished your sentence while Jaehyun kneeled down to Yuno’s height

“Of course not. I’ll take him to school and wait until his school ends” Jaehyun mentioned, smiling at Yuno, his dimples showing

But when Jaehyun took his hand out, trying to convince Yuno to come with him, Yuno shook his head. “No. I want to go with mommy”

“Lil peach…your mommy and uncle need to have a chat and I want to get to know you more” Jaehyun tried to convince him but Yuno stood his ground, gripping onto your leg

“Hey, hey lil bud” you mumbled, kneeling to your son’s height, holding his small hands in yours. “What did mommy tell you before?”

“Give daddy a chance” both you and Yuno said at the same time, making Jaehyun want to tear up knowing that despite what he did, you still taught your son to give him a chance

“That’s right lil bud. What happened to mommy shouldn’t be the reason for you to not give your daddy a chance. Also, it’s a good way to know if he’s actually making an effort. Plus, mommy needs to talk to uncle Johnny, okay? When you come back, mommy is going to make your favourite food, braised beef with toppokki” you mentioned, Jaehyun almost choked on his saliva hearing his son’s favourite food being the same as his

“Okay mommy” Yuno mumbled, looking over at Jaehyun who still offered his hand and slowly grabbed it

“I promise that I’ll keep him safe” Jaehyun mentioned, standing back up, softly holding his son’s hand

“On scratch on his body or any drop of blood, I will end you, Jeong” you threatened, kissing your son’s cheek as he kissed yours before letting Jaehyun take your son to daycare

Jaehyun’s POV

On the way down to my car, Yuno didn’t say a word and even when we were in the elevator, out of (y/n) and Johnny’s sight, Yuno let go of my hand which confused me.

“Lil peach…” I let out but Yuno’s reply shocked me. “Yuno. That’s my name. Not lil peach. Only mommy gets to call me other names”

“Okay, Yuno. Can you tell me why you let go of my hand?” I asked as the elevator opened to the car park and I directed him to my car

“Because even though mommy says you’re my daddy, you’re not” Yuno mentioned, getting into the car without my help

After closing the door to Yuno’s side, I went into mine and saw that he already put his seatbelt on his own. “Damn, this kid is too smart for a 5-year-old,” I thought to myself as I drove off

“Why would you say that I’m not your daddy?” I asked

“Because you hurt mommy. You made mommy cry” Yuno mentioned. “You might be my daddy but if you hurt mommy, you’re not my daddy. Wait until I grow up and I will be the only guy that mommy needs”

“You should know that without me, you wouldn’t exist. You can try all you want but I will win your mom back and then let’s see who the guy will come out on top” I scoffed, disbelieved at my own son’s words to me

“You can try but you’re no one to mommy. You’re not related by blood unlike me. You don’t know mommy like I do. You don’t know how hard mommy tries to be strong to take care of me. You don’t know that mommy likes to talk about you. You don’t know that mommy talks nice things about you but to me, you still hurt mommy. Especially when you came back” Yuno mentioned, making me grip the steering wheel harder

“H-Has your mommy been seeing someone else? Another guy?” I asked, being selfish and hoping that (y/n) hadn’t seen anyone else

“No. Though lots of guys have been trying to talk to her but when I ask mommy, she always mentions you” Yuno admitted, making me sigh with relief

“I won’t leave you both again. Especially your mom. I love her so much that I want to come back and take care of her. And you” I mentioned, parking by the daycare, looking at Yuno

“Why are you looking at me?” Yuno asked

“Because I need your help” I mentioned

Your apartment - Your POV

After Jaehyun left with Yuno, Johnny wanted to immediately talk but I told him that I wanted to grab several things from my previous apartment. Johnny agreed and he drove us to my old apartment.

“What actually happened since you found out that we were involved in an accident?” Johnny asked, his voice sounded nervous as we walked into my apartment

“Lots of things happened, John. I almost lost Yuno. I had to sell our old house to have enough money to live for a year or so since both of your accounts sacred and I only had the joint account with Jaehyun but even that, somehow, the account was frozen so after Yuno turned 1, I had to look for a job since I didn’t want to burden Jaehyun’s parents who were both already at old age” I explained, recalling one of the most traumatic moments in my life

“I’m sorry sis. We both are, really” Johnny let out

“I was lucky Jaehyun’s parents were still around. We were all sad at what happened to both of you. Did Jaehyun ever go back to his parents?” I asked but Johnny shook his head

“He was scared. We both were. When Taeyong and the others couldn’t find us, they froze our accounts, everything linked to us. Of course not your or his parents’ personal accounts. That’s how your joint account was frozen” Johnny explained

“What could have possibly scared the two of you more than me and Jaehyun’s parents getting angry at both of you?” I questioned, about to blow a fuse at my confusing brother for his reasoning but Johnny sushed me

“What is it now, John…”I let out but we both hear unfamiliar voices

“I thought you said that you saw that clueless bitch and somehow alived brother walking past here just now” an unknown man stated, making you worry and looked at Johnny who looked pissed

“(y/n), go into your room” Johnny looked at me, his hand was by his waist and I could see him holding a gun. “Now”

I didn’t need to be told twice and rushed to my room, locking it and as I was about to get under my bed, I heard a loud gunshot followed by several grunts. Not wanting to listen to all the noise outside, I decided to call the only other person that could manage to calm me down.

“Hello? (Y/N)” Jaehyun’s voice was a bit taken aback that I called him

“Jae…” I let out

“Where are you? Where’s Johnny? What happened?” Jaehyun asked, his voice was worried

“I’m at my old apartment. Johnny…” I was about to reply but heard another gunshot. “Johnny’s outside, there are some people that I don’t know of”

“Dimple…I’m sorry that you have to go through this two days in a row but one things for sure, we won’t let you be alone anymore. Talk to me dimple, tell me how you’re feeling” Jaehyun replied

“How are you so calm? What if something happens to Johnny and…I can’t lose either one of you again” you replied back

“It’s part of our job, dimple and you’re not going to lose either one of us again. What happened 5 years ago is a one time only. It won’t happen again. Me and Johnny will make sure of it” Jaehyun ensured me

“How’s Yuno? Did he cause any problems for you?” I asked, trying to get my mind off what was happening outside

“No problems at all. He just told me some things, that’s all. You really taught him well, didn’t you. He even stood up against his own father for his mom” Jaehyun joked

“That’s because he didn’t know you like I did” I replied

“And how did you know me, hmm?” Jaehyun teased, making me roll my eyes

Luckily, before I have to reply him, I heard Johnny called out to me. “(y/n)? Are you alright in there?”

“Johnny’s calling. I’ll um talk to you later then Jae. Don’t forget about Yuno” I told him but heard giggling. “Don’t worry about him. Go, Johnny’s going to get worried”

Turning off the call, I opened the door and saw Johnny who looked a bit tired but relieved. Immediately, I hugged him as he hugged back. “I’m okay, don’t worry about me. You’re okay, right?”

“I’m okay. W-what happened out there?” I asked but Johnny shook his head

“Nothing you should worry about. Come on. I’ll help you grab the things you need and we can head back” Johnny mentioned

It didn’t take long to take almost all the things because apparently, Johnny had called some of his friends to come and help us bring some of mine and Yuno’s things back to the penthouse.

Arriving back at the penthouse, Johnny and his friends helped me unpack some of my things and during the tidying up, we heard a ring to the door and Johnny opened it to let Jaehyun and Yuno in. Yuno immediately went up to me and I hugged him.

“Did you have a good day today?” I asked as Yuno nodded and took something out of his backpack, which was a drawing

“My teacher told us to draw something that makes us happy and I draw you being happy even if it’s with daddy and uncle” Yuno mentioned and I looked at the drawing he did

It was a simple kids drawing but knowing our history, it meant a lot that Yuno somehow is slowly accepting both Jaehyun and Johnny in his life even though they have been absent in both our lives for the past 5 years.

Sometime during the rest of the day, you and Jaehyun decided to cook together and after dinner, the two of you were doing the dishes together; reminiscing the times you both were in college and cooking in the small tiny dorms whilst Johnny and Yuno were getting to know each other.

“How did you manage to get Yuno to talk to you and actually like you?” you asked, waiting for the water to boil as Jaehyun was leaning on the counter after washing some of the dishes

“I wouldn’t say that he has completely accepted me but we managed to talk. He’s very smart for a 5-year-old” Jaehyun mentioned

“I know. I worry about him. I don’t want him to mature quickly just because of the situation. I want him to have a normal childhood where he’s loved and can have fun for as long as he can” you mentioned, looking over at Yuno who was actually having fun with Johnny

“(Y/N)” Jaehyun called out to me, making me look at him as he grabbed my hands in his; an act that he always did whenever he wanted to talk about something serious

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for both of you the past 5 years. I’m sorry I was a coward for not going back to both of you sooner and I’m sorry that I can’t turn back time to change all that because I know I would do anything to go back and be with the both of you. Especially you. I should’ve been there to take care of you. I should’ve been there to protect you. I should’ve been there to feel the pain you’ve felt because it was nothing compared to mine” Jaehyun mentioned, kissing the top of your hands, another habit that he likes to do to calm your nerves

“Jae…” you breathed out but Jaehyun didn’t let you continue. “Would you allow me and Johnny back? I know that it’s going to take a lot more to make up for the times we’ve lost but I’m willing to do anything for the both of you and…”

Kiss This time, you were the one that didn’t let Jaehyun continue and landed a soft kiss on his cheek, whilst caressing his jawline with one of your hands.

“You know that I hate all the bullshit talk. You might as well show me how sorry you are” you challenged Jaehyun who felt a sense of relief wash over him

But before you and Jaehyun could continue anything, both Johnny and Yuno came up to both of you. “Umm, sorry to disturb but I’m gonna take the lil guy back to my place” Johnny mentioned and Jaehyun was internally screaming thank you because he finally got to have some alone time with you after 5 years

“Do you need anything or any snacks bub?” you asked your son who just shook his head

“I’m okay, mommy. I wanna play some games with uncle Johnny!” Yuno exclaimed, making you giggle

“Alright. But don’t stay up too late. Go grab your pyjamas and backpack. Johnny, I trust you won’t be irresponsible. He has school tomorrow” you mentioned, looking up at your brother who just shrugged whilst your son rushed to his room

“I won’t. But I’m not so sure about you both so that’s why I’m offering to take care of the lil guy while you both sort things out together” Johnny snickered making you smack his arm while your son comes back, already wearing his backpack

“Bye mommy!!” your son greeted you as you went down to his height and he kissed you on your cheeks

“You behave alright. Don’t trouble uncle Johnny” you reminded as he smiled

“I promise don’t worry” your son replied and he went towards Jaehyun who also kneeled to his height. “Don’t make mommy cry!”

“I won’t lil peach. If she cries it’s because of a movie or something else” Jaehyun mentioned, making you smack his head. “You see. Your mom will kill me before I hurt her anyways”

Shaking his head, your son went over back to you and hugged you before going to grab Johnny’s hands, the two bidding both of you and Jaehyun goodbye.

“I should really get you and him to have more father and son outings before he really rebels against you” you mumbled while Jaehyun went behind you, snaking his arms around your waist, letting his head rest on the crook of your neck, giving it light kisses

“It’s alright. You’ve taught him well enough. He’s looking out for his mom anyways” Jaehyun murmured, sucking on your skin, making you moan as you let your head fall back

“I’ll teach him more though. If you’ll let me. I know that you’re worried but I’m more worried if something were to happen to both of you and I wasn’t around” Jaehyun sighed but you turned around, your hands wrapped around his neck

“I trust you Jae. You maybe a dick for leaving us for 5 years but you promise to make up for it. Then do it. Make up for your lost time with us. Treat us how you’re supposed to treat us those psat 5 years” you challenged him again

Without warning, Jaehyun lifted you up, forcing your legs to wrapped around his waist as he turned you around, making your back hit the wall as he captured your lips to his; one of his hand cupped your jaw, deepening the kiss between you.

When the two of you pull away and looked at each other, the two of you giggle just like when you were in college, sneaking around to make out with each other.

“Shall we continue it here or do you want the bed?” Jaehyun asked but you kissed him instead

“Anywhere Jeong. Just proof to me that you’re not leaving us again. I can’t deal with another loss” you cried but Jaehyun quickly shushed you

“You won’t. I’m promise. I came back for both of you and I’m staying for both of you. I’m sorry, dimple. I’ve missed you too. I’ve missed you so fucking much” Jaehyun kissed your temple, each of your eyes, the tip of your nose and then your lips

Each kiss makes you bring him closer to you as you cried on his chest while he cradles your body. “It’s okay. Let it out” Jaehyun knows that he can make up for all the intimate and sexual needs later and what’s important is to make sure is to tend your needs. Whatever you want or need, Jaehyun will do it.

When you finally relaxed in Jaehyun’s arms, you looked at him again with glossy eyes but to Jaehyun, you’re just as adorable as he remembers. Smiling and flashing his dimples, Jaehyun leaned down to give a softer kiss to your lips but you were the one that craved more.

“Someone’s eager. Bed?” Jaehyun asked but all you could do was nod

Immediately, Jaehyun carried you bridal style just as he did the night of your wedding when Jaehyun carried you to your bedroom.

Because of your motherly sense, you woke up earlier than you would have liked and went to the kitchen, slowly removing Jaehyun’s big arms. When you got to kitchen to make breakfast and check your phone, Johnny already texted you that he already took your son to kindergarten and told you to just rest.

Johnny: I took the kid to kindergarten already. We got some breakfast sandwich along the way and I’m gonna wait for him. You have fun with Jae ;)

You smile as you read the text, not realising that Jaehyun was eyeing you from the corner until you turned to see him leaning towards the wall with only his sweatpants, his chest was still bare from last night’s activities.

“Geezus. Can’t you at least knock. You’re going to make me have a heart attack” you exclaimed, making Jaehyun chuckle as he went next to you, kissing the side of your temple before backhugging you as you attempt to make breakfast

“I wouldn’t dream of it” Jaehyun murmured

The two of you just enjoyed each other’s company whilst making breakfast together until Jaehyun asked you a question that he wanted to ask. “Dimple” Jaehyun called out, making you look at him

“Why didn’t you get mad at me? Why didn’t you make me suffer more and longer? I deserved it you know. 5 years is a long time and not to mention for 9 months you were pregnant and had to raise Yuno on your own with my parents for the next few years. You could’ve made me beg for the next 5 years but you didn’t, why?” Jaehyun asked, making you blink a few times before going to stand in front of him, cupping his jaw in your small hands

“I’m disappointed. Not angry. There’s a difference. I’m still disappointed in you and Johnny but I know that there’s no point in staying angry for too long. Yes, I still don’t fully understand the world you guys are in but I know that it’s not easy at all and you both tried your best to take care of me and Yuno however you can. Let me ask you back. When Yuno turned 3 and I received an email from the bank that our joint account was not frozen anymore, it was you, wasn’t it? When I was struggling to pay the bills and suddenly the landlord said it was all cleared for the next year, it was you, right? When Yuno was sick and there was medicine in the mail, it was from you, wsn’t it?” you asked, and Jaehyun held your hand, rubbing it

“I was a coward. I helped you but I didn’t have the strength to face you. You should hate me” Jaehyun mentioned

“But I don’t because I know that when it comes to family, you would never forget us no matter what. I’m still hurt and need reassurance but I want us to be a family again. Only if you promise to be better” you replied and Jaehyun immediately kisses you

Pulling away for a moment, Jaehyun caresses your face and lets his forehead rest on yours as both your noses touch each other. “I fucking love you, you know that? I promise I’ll be better for you and Yuno. I’m officially back for both of you”

[otakubimbo]

.The Rabbit and The Wolf

Bad date and confessions

You’re still trying to get your not a date but a date with Iruka out of your head when you get some information that sends you into a spiral.

MDNI. MATURE CONTENT.

Ch 1 2 3 4 5

master list

OBN: okay so i realized that i uploaded chapter 4 twice so here's chp 5, it's a lil shorter than the regular chapters cause i cut the original into 2. hehe. mwah!

All night long Kakashi’s face plagued your dreams, tossing and turning with the thoughts of him. As you awake, if you could even call it that since you didn’t even sleep, you realize you’re covered in sweat and your bonnet has escaped you in the night.

“Fuck” You groan attempting to pull yourself from the entrapment of your sheets. It was a long day before it even began, dragging yourself to the bathroom to get a good look at yourself. Yeah, you looked exactly like how you felt. Like shit. Hopefully, a shower will fix you up a bit; the steaming hot water should put some life back into you.

After your shower, you hadn’t even realized that you were already running behind, you would have to go visit your sister after training or you would be late. Barley putting yourself together, you hurry to the training grounds, but you are still late to your standards especially since Sasuke was already there.

“You look terrible” He comments, noticing you as you walk up.

“Thanks, didn’t notice.” You say pushing your palm into his forehead for his rudeness.

“Must have been one hell of a date.”

You groan with an exaggerated roll of your eyes telling him to watch his mouth, “It wasn’t a date Sasu, first of all. Second, where is your respect for your sensei and her personal life?”

“I’ve known you for too long for that to matter,” he says casually which makes you roll your eyes even harder as you give your body the stretch that he needed. Unfortunately, he was right, he was like a little brother to you, and just like a little brother, he was annoying.

“Are you seeing him again?” His question throws you off guard. He wasn’t one to usually ask these kinds of questions.

“Well, well, well, aren’t you nosy today? I mean, Yeah, we are friends. We will see each other when ya know we all hang or whatever.” You respond with a shrug of your shoulders.

“So, it didn’t go well.” He comments chuckling to himself. You flick him right in the forehead this time.

“Please stop” You groan putting your face into your hands. The last thing you wanted was more reminders of last night.

Eventually, the rest of the team shows up, well besides Kakashi of course, and they immediately both start pestering you about last night. The vein in your head would explode at any moment if they wouldn’t stop bothering you about it, so you made them a deal. If they could land a hit on you before Kakashi showed up, you would tell them about your night. You assumed it was going to be easy, except the training that you had been putting them through was having them show actual improvements. There were movements that you could feel they may have to take them with some type of seriousness.

“Well better luck next time, kids” You chuckle taking a place beside Kakashi as soon as he decides to arrive, “Took you long enough.” You elbow him in his side.

“I was actually late for a reason today. We have a mission.” He states holding up a scroll in his hand. “We just must deliver this, simple enough. But there is a festival happening in the village we are going to so I thought it would be nice. A reward for all the hard work.”

Naruto and Sakura celebrate, of course, while you look at the man confused. You place your hand on the side of his face to check for warmth.

“You sick? Who are you and what have you done with Kakashi?” You question as you’re still trying to gauge his temperature. He swats your hand away. You have never known this man to do anything easy.

“Yes, I’m fine. There's nothing wrong with taking things easy for once.” He remarks casually.

“Hmmn, well y’all have fun with that.”

“Oh. You’re coming on this mission too.”

“Me?” You question and you can see him smirking under his mask.

“Yes, you.” He responds, bringing even more joy out of Naruto. “We can discuss the details of the mission. Everyone else go get ready, it’ll be a three-day trip.” He dismisses the kids, and you stand there knowing that there must be something else going on for you to also have to go.

“So, what’s the actual mission?” You ask him once the kids leave.

“Your favorite, a little recon, a little stealing intel.”

A huge grin spreads across your face. These were your favorite missions, and they were always your favorite with Kakashi because there would always end up being some type of bet involved between the two of you.

“Oh, this is going to be fun. Just like old times. I knew you weren’t getting soft on me” You playfully pushed him.

“There really is a festival and I do want the kids to enjoy themselves, that wasn’t a lie.”

“Awh you are getting soft on me in your old age.” You laugh at him while he just rolls his eye, and you stick your tongue back out at him in return. You were really excited for this. Back to what you were good at, what you loved. Maybe get to fight a bit, hopefully. You haven’t gotten your hands dirty in so long.

The two of you go your separate ways and you head to see your sister since you didn’t get to see her that morning.

The first thing out of her mouth when she sees you is about your ‘NOT’ date, which makes you immediately groan before you fill her in on everything that happened. By the time you were done, your sister was laughing her ass off at the whole ordeal.

“It’s honestly not that funny.” You grumble crossing your arms. Your sister was laughing so hard it was bringing tears to her eyes, which she wiped away before settling down.

“It actually is considering you didn’t view it as a date at all and then he had such confidence to kiss you. It’s hilarious.”

At the very least, you were glad to bring a smile to her face even if it was at your expense. She was looking better and healthier, she even was feeling better according to her. Maybe she would be able to leave soon, you hoped.

“Anyways,” You start, making her lay back down “I actually have a mission to go on tomorrow with Team 7.”

“They’re sending those kids on such a dangerous mission it requires you to go?” She questions, a bit concerned.

“Nah, it's mainly a mission for me and Kakashi, they’re just coming with us because the old softy wants them to go to this festival.”

“Awh, he really is a sweet man” She compliments, and you snort.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. It should be a fun easy mission though.”

“Good, I know you're ready to get back out instead of babysitting your big sister.”

“Don’t be silly, you always come before anything. You and me.” Your hand reaches out to hers, grasping her small fingers gently.

“You and me” She repeats back to you, using her other hand to pat yours, “I know.” Her smile is soft and gentle.

The two of you talked casually after that, about random things and whatnot until you had to leave. As you leave the hospital, you run into Kakashi.

“How’s she doing?” He asks as a greeting.

A smile sets on your features, your eyes softening with the thought of her “She’s doing really good actually, a lot better. I really think she could make it through this. Ya know, unlike our mom.” The smile on your face, wavering a bit.

“Well, she’s strong like you so I know she’ll be fine,” he says attempting to calm your thoughts, it’s as if he can hear the worried voice in the back of your head.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” You say, pausing to look at him, realizing you had never thanked him for looking after your sister while you were away. “Uhm, thanks by the way.”

He looked down at you confused, “For what?”

“Ya know, checking on my sister and everything while I was off on all those missions.” You say avoiding his gaze.

“Of course, the both of you mean a lot to me, “he says so casually as if that didn’t make you stop breathing for a second.

‘The both of you’.

If you meant so much to him, why did he leave you alone after your night together and then immediately avoid you? If you were going on this mission with him, you would have to ask him. It had been hanging in your thoughts for too long.

“Thanks anyways. Can we walk and talk?” You ask nervously, not knowing how you would be able to approach this.

“Uh, sure.” He says and you immediately turn and start walking in the direction of your house feet moving automatically. “What did you want to talk about?” Your behavior was confusing him because you’re not one to act so nervous, hands fumbling with a shruniken with your lips pursed in thought.

“I was just thinking” You start not knowing where to really go with the conversation. He can tell there is really something on your mind so he’s patient and allows you to get your thoughts together.

“Ya know this is our first mission together since before my sister's wedding.”

“It is” he commented, assuming where this conversation was going. He just thought you were going to let it go by the way you had been acting previously.

“And then my sister's wedding happened.” You continue, even though you brought up the topic it was as if you were avoiding the main point.

“it did” His gaze follows down to your face as you steel your nerves to proceed.

“And then what happened after.”

“And then what happened after.” He repeated back to you, making you stop in your tracks to face him. You finally look up to meet his gaze on you. His expression is unreadable, but you knew you had to continue regardless of your hesitations. What were you supposed to be afraid of?

“Why did you leave and then disappear on me?” You ask, looking him dead in the face hoping your voice sounded stronger than you felt. There was a long silence between the two of you. His face is still unreadable, and you hoped he couldn’t see the small panic you were feeling. Luckily for you, your expression was as unreadable as his to him. Eventually, he’s the first one to break eye contact with a sigh.

“Because afterward, I realized I was in love with my best friend,” he confessed, lifting his head back up to hold your gaze once again.

 It felt like your brain stopped working for a second. The gears in your head are completely unmoving.

“I’m sorry. What?” You ask, as your brain finally comes back online.

“I said,” He took a step forward, taking your face into his hand. The rough pads of his fingers move along your cheek. “That night I realized I was in love with you. That I had been in love with you for so long. And that terrified me because I didn’t want to lose you.”

You just stare up at him, eyes big as saucers blinking.

“You were in love with me?” You ask barely above a whisper. This was not what you expected.

“I am in love with you.” He corrected. ‘Am’ present tense.

taglist: @smarsd

[jagibee]

Call Me Luna

(Stray Kids x Reader)

Chapter 5

5,842 words

A/N: So so so very sorry for the delay! I’ve had like 3 major life changes since I’ve last posted so please forgive me😭

…

Sent

hi

bangfuckingchan

Hi :]

Oh my god he even uses that face in his texts.

By this time, it was around half an hour before the company car was picking you up again. You had all your stuff ready and were just waiting, and you decided to text Chan because you had his goddamn number and what stupid idiot would not text him?

Sent

I was just wondering… are there any Korean-specific subgender-based cultural norms that I should know about?

bangfuckingchan

None that I can think of. Felix might hug you at some point and the others probably won’t but that’s more of their personalities than any cultural things. And we won’t blame you for not knowing everything about Korea! Felix went through the same thing when he moved here (and so did I many many centuries ago) so we all understand that it can be a lot and we want to help in any way we can!

After squealing into your pillow for a bit, you got the notification that the car was here. Before you rushed down, you remembered to respond to him.

Sent

You’re literally too nice! See you in a bit!

bangfuckingchan

Hey, let me know when you arrive at the building! I can walk you in!

How were you supposed to survive today?

When the car arrived at the company, you made sure to tell Chan.

bangfuckingchan

Great! See you down there ;)

What the hell was the winky face for? Was he trying to give you a heart attack?

You turned to watch the car drive away while you waited and then shifted your gaze to a nice omega couple who were laughing and holding hands as they walked. Smiling to yourself, you turned back to the company building just in time to see Chan jog out.

Stopping in front of you, he grinned and held out a large iced coffee.

You smiled back while cocking your head in confusion. “Hi?”

He shook the drink which made the ice rattle. “I got you a coffee.”

“Oh my- you didn’t have to do that!” Your heart warmed as your gaze flickered between the drink and his face.

He shrugged in response. “I had to buy coffee for all the kids anyway, and I should really pay you back for the food last night.” He rattled the drink again.

Taking it, you raised your eyebrows at him. “Again, the company paid for that. It wasn’t my money.”

Chan looked to the side. “Yeah, well, the company pays me and I bought that with money they paid me so if you think about it, the company paid for that, too. Ah!” He looked back at you. “If you don’t like coffee or iced Americanos, you don’t have to drink it! I wanted to surprise you and most of the kids drink iced Americanos, but next time I’ll ask!”

You shook your head at him. “Next time? You anticipate buying me coffee often?”

He smiled even wider at you. “Well, we can’t have our star caretaker falling asleep on the job, can we?”

You giggled at that. “Star caretaker? You’ve known me for less than 24 hours and I haven’t even met the rest of your pack, I don’t think you can really judge my caretaking abilities based on that.”

Chan’s smile morphed into a smirk. “Yeah, but you bought me food, so that tells me enough.”

You rolled your eyes at him playfully. “You are ridiculous.”

His jaw dropped. “Hey, I will take that coffee back! I’m sure one of my members will enjoy the extra caffeine!”

Hugging the coffee to your chest, you hissed at him jokingly. “Stay away from my coffee!”

You turned away and saw Jisu step out of the building, holding a few papers and a pen. “Ah, Y/N!” She narrowed her eyes at the sight of you and Chan but seemed to ignore it as she turned to you and handed you one of her papers. “Here is your schedule for today, each of the caretakers will meet one-on-one with a member from the caretaking department, and you are actually assigned to me. There’s just a couple more things sign pertaining to what you can and can’t say on camera or in public, and then you should be done with all that. Then you will meet with your band’s leaders, or,” she paused, glancing at Chan who had been standing silently behind you the whole time, “in your case, you’ll be meeting a few of the other members. That will be in time for lunch, which you can get from the cafeteria and after you eat with the members, Bang Chan can dictate what you do with the rest of your day and if you will spend more time with the band or not.”

You turned slightly to see Chan smile at you softly. “Nah,” he said, tilting his head, “I think I’ll probably kick her out of the company by then.”

You resisted the urge to kick him and settled for a flick on the shoulder.

He cupped his hand over where you flicked him and stumbled backwards dramatically, causing you to roll your eyes in response. Yeah, like he can even feel it through those damn arm muscles.

Turning back to Jisu, you saw she had a calculating look on her face, cat-eyes squinted and eyebrows furrowed. You straightened up and adjusted your outfit in order to appear more professional. She blinked a couple times before fidgeting with the pen in her hands. “Shall we get going, then?”

You nodded and followed her into the building and up the elevator, staying silent the whole time.

Yesterday, Jisu had been professional, but today she seemed colder. You got through a presentation and a couple contracts without her saying a single word other than what she had to, and when she did speak, there was no emotion in her voice at all.

Oh, god, is she jealous of me? Does she have a thing for Chan?

You thought back to your interaction earlier.

She didn’t really say a single word to him, did she? She just looked at him when she talked about him. But he didn’t really say anything to her either, which seems a bit unlike him.

Your phone buzzed, bringing you away from your thoughts. You glanced up at Jisu and saw her turning away from you. Checking your phone subtly under the table, you couldn’t help smiling.

bangfuckingchan

Link -> The Top Ten Best Mini Fridges For Sale

bangfuckingchan

Should I get the one that plays elevator music? I’m sure that won’t get irritating fast

Seeing Jisu concentrated on looking over the last contract, you texted Chan back.

Sent

How do you know it’s elevator music?

bangfuckingchan

Actually the review says it plays Happy Birthday. My bad!

You muffled a giggle at that.

Sent

But that’s even better! Now, when it’s one of your members’ birthdays, instead of sitting awkwardly while 7 other dudes sing happy birthday, they can sit awkwardly while the fridge sings happy birthday!

bangfuckingchan

Yeah but it doesn’t actually have the lyrics, just the music :’(

Sent

Ooh so the fridge can play music while 7 other dudes sing Happy Birthday! Maximum Awkwardness!

You saw Jisu straighten up out of the corner of your eye and you put your phone away.

She smiled politely at you, looking just a bit less playful than the way she smiled yesterday. “Alright, Y/N, it seems like you’re finally done with the contracts and presentations. I’ll be taking you to meet Chan and the others now.”

On the way to wherever it was that Jisu was leading you, she walked briskly and you had to basically jog to keep up. You pondered asking her what was wrong but you figured that after only two days, you weren’t exactly bestie-level friends.

She stopped in front of a door and knocked. Quicker than you expected, a curly-haired, beanie-covered head poked out of the room and smiled at you.

“Y/N! Hi!” Chan exclaimed, like he hadn’t just texted you a couple minutes ago.

Jisu cleared her throat. “Alright, I will be in Conference Room 6B if anyone needs me.” With that, she walked off seemingly even faster than she walked here.

Unfazed, Chan turned to you. “Are you ready to meet the others?”

You took a deep breath and tried to shake your nerves out. “Ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s do this.”

Your heart pounded as you stepped through the doorway.

The first thing you noticed was the smell. After working all day with just you and Jisu, each wearing heavy duty scent blockers, you had gotten used to the relatively scentless air of the company building, but when you walked into the room, there were several sweet scents overlapping to fill the space.

It looked to be a dance studio, but a bit smaller than the ones that idols usually had in their dance practice videos, and there was a circle of wooden crates in the very center of the room, some of which were occupied by-

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Holy motherfucking shit.

You were in a room with over half of Stray Kids.

And they were staring at you. Fuck, do something cool, you told yourself. Before you could do something that would have been completely awkward and embarrassing and unforgettable, your hours of Jisu’s and Kwang-sun’s etiquette classes kicked in and you bowed and greeted them formally.

The members on the crates glanced at each other briefly. Felix was curled up against I.N on one of the larger boxes and had their legs splayed out on another. Hyunjin had shoved a few crates together to lay down all the way with his head in Lee Know’s lap, his neck in some sort of headlock/neck hug from the older boy.

Chan appeared beside you after shutting the door, resting his hand on your back.

“Hey, guys, this is Y/N.” He turned to smile at you. “Our new caretaker.”

His warm voice and soft eyes made you feel like you were in your own nest back home with a nice hot drink and your favorite book. Before you spent too long staring at Chan, you turned your head to the shuffling coming from the other boys.

Felix had untangled himself from I.N and made his way over, beaming at you. He grasped both of your hands in his and met your gaze. “Hello, Y/N! It’s nice to meet you!”

You had to quit. You had to. You could not handle Lee fucking Felix saying your name in that perfect voice or his flawless hands gently holding yours. This was going to kill you.

Taking a deep breath, you squeezed his hands. “It’s nice to meet you, too. I look forward to working with you.”

You felt something bump your hip and turned to see Chan grinning mischievously. “There’s no need to be so formal, Y/N. None of us are that serious.”

Your jaw dropped in mock offense. “I’m just trying to make a good impression!”

Chan rolled his eyes at you sarcastically before smiling and showing off his dimples. “The company has already hired you and made you sign a thousand contracts, you would have to make a pretty bad impression for us to get rid of you. Plus, you gave me food, so I already like you. Speaking of which,” he added, looking back at the others, “we should get some lunch. Any suggestions?”

Hyunjin suddenly started wriggling around violently in Minho’s grasp. “I suggest that hyung lets go of me so I can talk to Y/N properly!”

Minho, who had been staring at you analytically, turned his gaze to the boy in his lap who was still squirming frantically. Then he looked up at Chan. “Hyunjin wants tissues for lunch. Think we can arrange that?”

Felix giggled and squeezed your hands again while Chan shut his eyes and sighed. “I thought we agreed to be on our best behavior.”

Minho’s eyebrows raised at his pack alpha. “When did I agree to that, hyung? You just said we should be on our best behavior and assumed, incorrectly, that we would agree. I think she should see us at our worst. That way, we can only get better.”

You smiled at him. “I think that if feeding each other tissues is really your worst, I don’t have too much to worry about.”

After you said that, Minho’s eyes narrowed at you appraisingly and his mouth twitched like he wanted to say something more.

Suddenly, Jeongin spoke. “Trust me, hyung, that is definitely not your worst. Hopefully, for her sake, she will never have to see that. And hopefully, for my sake, I never have to see it again.”

Minho turned to the youngest. “What do you think is the worst?”

Chan cleared his throat. “Any edible suggestions for lunch?”

“Pfft. You can eat paper.”

Chan fixed Minho with a glare until the younger rolled his eyes. “Fine. There’s that place a couple streets down that we ate from when we got back from Bangkok.”

“Sounds good!” Chan clapped his hands together. “Anyone against it?”

The younger members shook their heads and stayed relatively silent while Chan called to order, only to start up again when I.N asked Minho if he ate paper a lot as a child.

When Minho had launched himself across the crate circle at the youngest, Hyunjin was finally released. He sat up and dashed over to you and Felix, smiling shyly at you.

“Hello, Y/N.”

“Hello, Hyunjin.” Looking over the two beside you, you felt a quiver of excitement. “So this is it,” you told them, “you’re my omegas.”

They enchanged glances and turned to smile at you even wider. “Yeah,” Felix said, “I guess so!” He took one of his hands from your little tangle and offered it to Hyunjin, who took it, and in turn, offered you his own. You placed your hand in Hyunjin’s, completing the circle.

“I hope I do well,” you murmured, “I can’t believe I get to work with some of the prettiest and most talented omegas on the planet.”

Two pairs of ears had turned red when Chan walked over, finishing his call to the restaurant. “Okay,” he announced, “the food should be here in about 45 minutes. In the meantime-”

A shriek was heard from the other side of the room, where Minho and Jeongin had been wrestling. Currently, Minho was sitting on top of the other boy and a spare pair of sweatpants had seemingly materialized out of nowhere and been wrapped around I.N’s head.

Chan sighed and went over to help settle things.

You looked at Felix and Hyunjin and frowned. “Should I help?”

Hyunjin shook his head at you. “Ah, no. It’s better to just leave them to sort it out.” He rolled his eyes playfully. “Alphas.”

Sure enough, Chan was walking back to your small circle with Minho thrown over his shoulder. Jeongin trailed behind, his hair going in all different directions, but with a satisfied smirk on his face.

“As I was saying,” Chan stated casually, like he wasn’t carrying a grown man over his shoulder, “the food will be here soon, so I figured that we could use this time to ask Y/N things in order to get to know her. What do you think?”

You realized his last question was addressing you. “Oh! That sounds perfect. Ask whatever you want.”

Chan smiled at you, showing off his dimples. “Great! Shall we have a seat?”

You and the boys maneuvered the crates until you each got comfortable. Minho had sat down on one and immediately pulled Felix into his lap, without much protest from the younger boy. Hyunjin was on the floor leaning back against a crate and had Jeongin resting between his legs. Chan had opted to sit closer to you with both of you sitting on the long crate.

“Y/N!” Chan turned to you. “Are there any questions you want to ask us?”

You tilted your head to the side, thinking. “Hmm. I guess, what do you want me to call each of you? Do you want me to call you by your stage names or any nicknames or anything?”

Chan looked around at the others. “I think most of us don’t really care about what you call us. Our fans call us by every nickname we have so as long as you aren’t insulting us or anything, anything should be fine. Everyone agree?”

Minho raised his hand slightly from where it had been resting around Felix’s waist. “I actually don’t care off-camera, but I would prefer if you called me ‘Lee Know’ on camera.”

You nodded at him. “I can do that for sure. Anything else?”

He shrugged back at you. “That’s it.”

“Okay.” You smiled at everyone. “I don’t actually have any more questions, so you guys can ask me questions now.”

Felix squirmed in Minho’s lap. “Can we- no, nevermind.”

Chan frowned. “No, Felix, what were you going to say?”

“You can ask me anything,” you told him. “If I’m going to be your caretaker, we should be comfortable with each other.”

Felix hesitated for a second before speaking again. “Is it alright if- you can totally say no- but…” He paused and laced his fingers through Minho’s, continuing to stare down at them. “Could you… take your scent blockers off? I just want to get used to your scent if we’re going to be around each other a lot.”

You sat up a bit straighter. “Of course! Can I- am I allowed to take my scent blockers off here?”

Turning to Chan, you saw him furrow his eyebrows together. “Yeah,” he responded, “the eight of us usually like to hang out without them, so if it’s just us without any managers or other staff, we don’t usually wear blockers. All of the other employees know to knock to give us time to reapply them before they come in, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Alright,” you murmured, “if everyone is comfortable with it.” You glanced around the circle but no one protested.

Slowly, you reached a hand to pull off your scent blocker.

Your floral-earthy scent washed over the others and they took a moment to take it in.

You glanced at each of them to observe their reactions. Having smelled it before, Chan just smiled softly. I.N slumped more from in between Hyunjin’s legs and Hyunjin blinked rapidly. Minho’s hands tightened around Felix’s waist before relaxing again, and Felix closed his eyes and leaned back against him.

With the blocker off, your own sense of smell was heightened and the scents of the others became stronger. With all five of them, it was hard to differentiate the different smells, but you sort of liked the chaotic mix that belonged to them.

A pinging sound broke you and the others out of your trance and Chan fished his phone out of his pocket. “Ah,” he muttered, “the food’s here.”

“I’ll get it,” Minho said, standing up suddenly and picking up Felix from his place on his lap. A small whine escaped the younger boy in surprise as he was yanked up, but he quieted when Minho deposited him in Chan’s lap.

Chan’s only reaction was to rest his hands on Felix’s hips. You got the feeling that them passing each other around like stuffed animals wasn’t anything new.

While Minho put on a fresh scent blocker and got himself together to go down and get the food, Felix peeked at you from his place against Chan’s neck.

“Wait.” Something suddenly occurred to you and you turned to Chan. “I thought we were supposed to eat the cafeteria food. Why did you order something?”

He rested his head on top of Felix’s and squinted at you. “The cafeteria food is good, but you deserve something better for your first day with us. Plus,” he added, eyes glinting, “I owe you for last night.”

You pouted at him. “I told you that you don’t have to pay me back. That was the company’s money, and you already got me a coffee!”

“Oh,” Hyunjin piped up. “So that’s why you got an extra coffee this morning. I knew you weren’t ‘just trying something new,’ you liar.”

Chan gaped at him. “Uh, technically, I’ve never given coffee to Y/N before, so I was trying something new, and I wasn’t lying.”

“Hyung, oh my god,” I.N groaned. “No one cares about your coffee and whether or not you were lying.” His head slumped in your direction. “Noona, just let him buy food for you. It makes him happy. Part of his whole ‘head alpha leader’ thing.”

You giggled at that. “Fine. But it’s literally in my job description for me to take care of you guys, so let me buy you food every once in a while, okay?”

Chan opened his mouth to protest, but was interrupted by Minho entering the room.

“Yah, come and get it, you gremlins!”

The younger members swarmed the takeout bags while you and Chan followed more slowly. Soon, they had the food all laid out on the floor and you crouched down beside it. I.N scooted over to sit between you and Minho on your right, Felix sat on your left, leaning against Hyunjin on his other side, and Chan took his place directly across from you.

While the others were sorting the food, Chan handed out water bottles to everyone. “Does our maknae want to say anything?”

Jeongin unscrewed the cap and lifted the bottle in a toast. “Y/N-noona, welcome and good luck. Hyungs, don’t embarrass me or yourselves too much.”

You and the others laughed and they rolled their eyes while you each drank.

The group started eating in relative silence, occasionally one of them would ask what you liked and would pass you something to try, but they seemed to be pretty concentrated on eating.

Then, Minho broke the silence. “So Y/N, what exactly is your interaction with us supposed to be like on camera?”

Putting your bowl down, you considered his question. “Well, for now, they don’t want me going on lives or doing anything super public because I guess I haven’t built that trust yet. I’ll travel with you through the airport, go to your concerts, and be with you whenever all eight of you are together, but if you all have individual schedules, I’ll just go where I’m needed. That will probably be worked out between Chan, your managers, and I.”

You paused for a second, swirling your spoon in your bowl thoughtfully. “They also want me to be sort of known? I’ll be on camera more than your managers and they want to make it clear to the public that you guys and the other groups have caretakers, but they don’t really want to put a spotlight on me as a person. They want someone with a caretaker title and maybe a face to that title, but they don’t want people to be super interested in me.”

Minho’s eyebrows furrowed. “That’s going to backfire.”

Your head tilted in confusion. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged. “The more mysterious you are, the more people will be interested in you. Or they’ll just make things up in order to give you a personality and suddenly there are rumors all over the place.”

You took another bite of food before responding. “I’ll just continue doing what the company tells me. If it backfires, it’s on them and not me. Plus, I don’t really care about rumors. I know who I am and no matter what random people on the Internet have to say, I’ll still be the same person.”

Hyunjin laughed at that. “So much backbone! Binnie-hyung is going to love you!”

You smirked at him. “And you? Do you love me?”

Hyunjin blinked in surprise but before he responded, Felix piped up from between the two of you. “Hey, noona, you said you’re going to be with us when it’s all eight of us, but what about the dorms? Are you staying at one of them or going back and forth?”

You couldn’t help but smile at Felix when he shoveled a few too many noodles into his mouth. “I’ll actually be getting my own place,” you explained. “The company agreed because it means that you guys won’t be suffocated by me right away and if you ever need a mental break away from cameras or the other members, my apartment will be sort of a neutral zone for you to just chill. Actually,” you added, checking the date on your phone, “I’m supposed to look at apartments this weekend.”

“Really?” Chan looked up from his own food. “I’ll go with you.”

You choked on the bite you had just taken. After clearing your throat, you shook your head at him. “You don’t have to do that! You’re probably busy anyway.”

He shrugged. “I was just planning on working in the studio but I’ve been spending too much time in there anyway. Plus, I could help you find a space that’s good for all of us.”

You hummed. “That does make sense, but you really don’t have to if you don’t want to!”

Chan waved his chopsticks at you. “No no no no, I want to go with you!”

“Alright,” you huffed. “You can come with me, if you really want to.”

“Can I come, too?”

You turned to Jeongin and tilted your head. “You want to come?”

He nodded shyly and turned to Chan. “I don’t have any schedules in the morning.”

Chan shrugged back at him. “It’s fine with me if it’s alright with Y/N.”

You smiled at both of them. “Sure. I’m supposed to meet the real estate person at 9. I’ll text you the address.”

Hyunjin sighed loudly and flopped backwards. “Why do I have to have a vocal lesson? I want to go apartment shopping!”

Felix giggled and laid back until his head rested on Hyunjin’s stomach. “Hey, at least the rest of us can’t go either. We can all suffer together.”

Minho groaned and stood up. “If everyone is done eating, we should start practicing soon. I gave us an extra long break already.”

You all helped to clean up and shove the crates to the corner of the room. Chan told you that this was all they had for the day so you could just sit back and watch them.

“But this is brand new choreography,” he added playfully, “don’t take a video and spoil our moves on Twitter!”

You laughed at that. “I think that would violate around seven of my contracts.”

He smiled and took his place.

You watched them dance for a while, time seemed to slow down and pass faster at the same time.

Their moves were hypnotizing and there was one point where you audibly gasped and Minho turned back to smirk at you.

Your phone screen told you that a little over an hour had passed before the boys finally took a break. Each of them collapsed on the spot except for Minho, who made his way over to you.

With four other sweaty men in the room, you couldn’t exactly pinpoint his scent, and you didn’t remember what his file had said, but you could tell that he smelled sweet, which was a bit surprising. You had expected an alpha like him to have a harsher scent. A scent that deodorant companies would bottle up and name something like “CLIFF JUMP” or “CAR CRASH”. Maybe Minho would be “TIGER FANGS” if he had a scent like you had expected.

But he didn’t.

He sat next to you, wrapping a washcloth around his neck and draining his water bottle. “So.” He turned to face you. “What do you think?”

You raised your eyebrows at him jokingly. “I think your fans would appreciate more twerking.”

Hyunjin burst into a cackle and turned over so he was laying on his belly, then pressed his forehead into the floor. The others still seemed too exhausted to laugh, let alone move.

You smiled at them and made your way over to their water bottles, trying your best to remember which one belonged to which member.

You passed them out, receiving grateful smiles in exchange. When you got to Chan, instead of drinking from his bottle like the rest of the boys were and like any normal person would do after an hour of intense dancing, he just hugged his water bottle to his chest and grinned at you lazily.

“Thanks, Y/N. You didn’t have to do that.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “It’s literally in my job description to take care of you all. When are you going to get that through your head, Bang Chan?” You huffed, kicking his feet.

“Don’t even try with him, noona,” I.N wheezed, finally able to speak. “Hyung is allergic to being cared for.”

“Yeah,” you mused, “I got the feeling.”

They danced for a few more hours, using the last half to practice their older songs and keep them fresh.

At one point, you were caught unconsciously moving your arms and legs like the dance called for. Your face went hot when the boys started imitating you and calling you cute.

One of these days, you were going to die of a heart attack.

At least you would die happy.

At the end of dance practice, Felix sank into the seat next to you and laid his head on your shoulder. You were a bit surprised at the affection but you welcomed it happily, lifting your hand to run through his hair.

Chan came to stand in front of you, the other members packing up their water bottles in their bags.

“So,” he huffed, still not fully recovered from the workout, “do you want to quit yet or do you still think you can handle eight of us?”

You smiled at him teasingly. “Are you that desperate for me to quit? You could just fire me, at least I would get a good compensation package.”

Before Chan could respond, you felt a tug at your wrist and turned to see Felix sniffing along it. When he caught your curious gaze, his eyes widened and he dropped your wrist like it burned him.

“Sorry!” He licked his lips and your thoughts evaporated momentarily. “I didn’t- you just smell so good, noona.” He scooted away from you and looked guiltily at Chan.

Choosing to analyze that later, you moved back into Felix’s space. “Hey, it’s alright! Here,” you grasped his wrist in your hands, mirroring his previous position, “I’ll smell you and that way we’re even. If that’s okay with you.”

He smiled softly and nodded at you, so you lifted his wrist to your nose and- oh fuck.

Felix’s scent flooded your senses. It smelled mostly like lemon but with a hint of something sweet as well. Maybe lemon pie or lemon cake? Definitely something lemon flavored with frosting. You felt like you could have started floating like a cartoon character when they smell something tasty. It wasn’t fair that he could smell like this after hours of intense dancing.

“Shit.”

You looked up at the word and were honestly surprised to see the other boys there. It really just felt like you and Felix floating on a lemony cloud. Even Chan’s presence had faded away.

Hyunjin was staring at you with his mouth parted, his hands paused where they had been rifling through his bag.

You froze. What the hell did he mean by that? Were you going to be fired for smelling Felix? And right after you had joked about getting fired? What kind of sick irony was that?

Before you could spiral any further, Hyunjin turned to Chan with his lips pouted. “Hyung,” he whined, “they’re too sexy for people who are already cute! Tell them they can’t be cute and sexy!”

You snorted at that. “Well, then you’re breaking your own rule, Hwang Hyunjin.”

His mouth parted in surprise before his lips moved into a shy smile as he looked away and zipped up his bag.

Chan made sure everyone’s scent patches were on and they had their things before exiting the dance studio. You walked down to the cars, listening as the boys decided to just take one car and have Hyunjin spend the night at the other dorm. Chan told them he was staying at the studio, which surprised no one, but the announcement was still met with groans.

“Hey, you can’t just blame me this time,” he said defensively, “Changbin and Hannie are joining me there!”

The groans of the others continued. “That doesn’t make it better,” I.N muttered.

Chan rolled his eyes as you made your way outside and shoved them towards one of the waiting vans. Minho started corralling them while Chan waited with you for the next van to pull up. Felix suddenly shot forward and wrapped his arms around you, tucking his head into your neck like he was trying his best to smell you despite the scent blockers you wore. You hugged him back before Minho patted Felix’s butt in a little “let’s go” gesture. The two of them along with Jeongin and Hyunjin waved at you as they finally got into the van.

“Bye, noona!” “See you, noona!” “It was nice to meet you, noona!”

You smiled and waved back at the younger members. Minho, the last one to get in, turned to you. “I hope you manage to survive meeting the others,” he smirked.

As they drove off, Chan edged closer to you and bumped your shoulder with his. “That went well, I think.”

You grinned at him. “Yeah, just be sure to let me know if any of them secretly hate me.”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “They like you more than they like me, but sure.”

“Just wait until I have them kick you out and elect me to be the new leader of Stray Kids.”

The van pulled up next to the two of you. Chan sighed. “Well, I guess this is it. I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N. Or should I say leader-nim?”

His eyes glimmered at you in a way that made you want to take a picture and keep it in your wallet.

In order to keep what was left of your sanity, you turned to the van and opened the door. “Call me what you want,” you told him over your shoulder, “but can I call you mine?”

You took a seat in the van and watched his jaw drop before he started giggling. You closed the door and watched him as you drove away. He was still smiling and had brought his hands up to half-cup half-hide his face.

I could get used to a view like this.

…

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[jbaileyfansite]

Interview with Interview Magazine (2024)

Before he was known as the dashing Lord Anthony Bridgerton or Tim Laughlin, the character in Fellow Travelers for which he won a Critics Choice Award earlier this month, Jonathan Bailey caught the attention of Phoebe Waller-Bridge with his confident, self-possessed audition for her show Crashing nearly a decade ago. “You came in like a fireball,” said the Fleabag star on Zoom with Bailey, recounting how, while reading for the role of the sex-obsessed Sam, Bailey asked permission to lay his script out on the floor in front of him like a rainbow. “You had no embarrassment. You didn’t actually refer to it again, but you took those few seconds to just completely set up what you exactly needed for that audition, and then you were so free.” In the years since, with roles in Bridgerton, the Showtime drama Fellow Travelers, and the upcoming Wicked movie adaptation, Bailey has become one of the most sought-after actors in the business, capable of generating sparks with whoever’s on screen with him. Waller-Bridge attributes this to the 35-year-old’s distinct understanding of tension. “You’re like a chemistry machine,” she gushed. “There’s this incredible erotic energy that people are so excited about.” Last week, from a hotel room at Claridge’s in London, Bailey talked to Waller-Bridge about longing, orgasms, frosted tips, nostalgia, Shakespeare, and his very first role: playing a raindrop in a stage production of Noah’s Ark.

PHOEBE WALLER-BRIDGE: Hi.

JONATHAN BAILEY: Hi.

WALLER-BRIDGE: I’m taking my glasses off. Now I can be real.

BAILEY: I’ve just had a gin and tonic, actually. I had a meeting and he really wanted a glass of Whispering Angel, so I was like, “Well, I’ve got to dive in.”

WALLER-BRIDGE: What’s the time there?

BAILEY: Oh, I’m literally around the corner from you. Literally, I’ve come into Claridge’s Hotel and checked in for an hour just to have a Zoom.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Oh, god. That’s so chic. Jonny, I want all of your secrets.

BAILEY: I feel like you’ve got quite a few of them already.

WALLER-BRIDGE: I do, actually. And we’re not going to talk about any of those. But I did also get to do a little bit of research on you.

BAILEY: Oh, god. What have you got?

WALLER-BRIDGE: Jonathan Stewart Bailey, I’d like to jump straight in with the fact that the first professional job you had was playing a teardrop, or a raindrop?

BAILEY: There were teardrops, but yeah, I was playing a raindrop.

WALLER-BRIDGE: You were a crying raindrop.

BAILEY: A crying raindrop in Noah’s Ark.

WALLER-BRIDGE: And how old were you then?

BAILEY: I think I was about 5 going on 29. I was really upset because it didn’t rain. The bitch that played Noah, she forgot the cue for the rain to come. So my dance didn’t make it, but at the end of the show they allowed me to do it once everyone had applauded.

WALLER-BRIDGE: I asked you that specifically because you’ve also said that your grandmother took you to see a production of Oliver in London and that’s what changed everything.

BAILEY: Yes.

WALLER-BRIDGE: So was the raindrop before or after that? I am getting to something, I promise.

BAILEY: I think it was probably afterwards. I was really young when I went to see Oliver.

WALLER-BRIDGE: I’m interested because I read that seeing it made you decide you wanted to perform. Can you tell me the specific thing that made it click?

BAILEY: I’ll tell you, the most bizarre thing is that I had three seasons at the RSC under my belt by the age of nine. There was a moment where I played Prince Arthur, the kid in Shakespeare who gets his eyes gouged out and has to escape a turret. I remember doing that production and thinking I was aware of the power of words, if that makes sense. You’re so porous at that age, I think. It is such a gift, isn’t it, to be shown what iambic pentameter is.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Do you still feel passionate about Shakespeare now?

BAILEY: I do, actually. It’s my dirty, filthy habit.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Your dirty little habit. I know what you mean, though, how if you come to it quite raw, and it’s not something that you’ve had shoved down your throat at school, there is nothing more epic and spectacular.

BAILEY: And being around people who are just so committed to their vocation, whether they’re writing or creating. The smell backstage at the RSC at the Barbican was like cigarettes, stage makeup, Joe Fiennes, and hope.

WALLER-BRIDGE: That’s a lot of beautiful smells you’ve got going on there.

BAILEY: I know. Talk about top notes and bottom notes. I was like, “These men, these titans of theater!”

WALLER-BRIDGE: That’s extraordinary that you were exposed to that kind of level of professionalism. Because you are consummately professional, and I remember that. You have this incredible ability to be completely live and spontaneous and wild at the same time as being so incredibly professional, and that’s why working with you felt totally safe. I know that I’ve got a professional actor coming today, but I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen because you still managed to keep that spontaneity and danger.

BAILEY: I suppose it’s sometimes dangerous. Today I had to do an interview. Crashing came up and I described working with you as being on the constant edge of an orgasm and also hysteria.

WALLER-BRIDGE: It did have a kind of wild, beautiful energy.

BAILEY: There’s a chemical alchemy when you get the right group of people led by the right people.

WALLER-BRIDGE: I haven’t had that in quite the same way since, where everyone has equal importance in the story. That’s the thing that feels quite rare, actually, there’s like six of you and they’re all as fucked up as each other. I remember your audition. You came in like a fireball and you already felt like you had a Sam energy. You sat in your chair, took out your script from your bag, and then you were like, “Give me a second,” and you laid out your script around you on the floor. You had no embarrassment about what you needed or in front of you. You didn’t actually refer to it again, but you took those few seconds to just completely set up what you exactly needed for that audition, and then you were so free. And I just wonder if you’ve felt that particular type of confidence your whole life?

BAILEY: That’s a really good question. I’ve got three older sisters and I wonder if they are a structure. I’ve definitely been in environments where I don’t feel free, and then you give the worst performance of your life. What I’ve found in the last few years is that, of course, you have to adapt so quickly to work out what you need in order to be able to be free. I think if I don’t have the equivalent of that on the floor, I panic or get really scared.

WALLER-BRIDGE: There’s something about that, which is being able to play dangerously in a safe environment. I feel like that’s got so much to do with an understanding of tension, which I think you have. You’re like a chemistry machine. Obviously, with Bridgerton and then in Fellow Travelers, there’s this incredible erotic energy that people are so excited about.

BAILEY: I really think it comes from Crashing.

WALLER-BRIDGE: It doesn’t come from Crashing, it comes from you. I think you’re the king of tension. I think you understand what that is.

BAILEY: I think you can give yourself butterflies, can’t you?

WALLER-BRIDGE: Is that what you’re looking for, the butterfly all the time?

BAILEY: Yeah, I’m always looking for my butterfly farm. The misty, slightly smelly greenhouse full of butterflies.

WALLER-BRIDGE: That’s your tummy?

BAILEY: Yeah, that’s my tummy.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Did you always dream of playing leading man roles growing up?

BAILEY: Not at all, no. I never thought I would be able to.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Why?

BAILEY: I’ve realized that I’m completely in awe of other people and performances and creative endeavors. I go to the theater and I love a performance and I’m like, “How do they do that? I can’t see the seams.” So therefore, I feel like I must be driven by that. And when something comes my way, there’s a fear that it won’t work.

WALLER-BRIDGE: What’s really exciting to me is when I see palpable dynamics between characters, which you have done multiple times, like the relationship between Tim and Hawk. There’s so much opportunity for intimacy and that kind of danger. And when you get to play those sorts of roles, when you know that you can stand in front of each other and you don’t really need to do anything because it’s giving you something, it must’ve just been a joy walking into this world because it’s like a banquet of stuff to play with, right?

BAILEY: Totally, and it feels sort of vital and sexy. I do remember this one memory, which I guess I’ll share with you now. I did play and there was a tiled wall,at eye level with a mirrored border around. And there was a guy, we were into each other, and I remember just looking up in the middle of a conversation and he was looking at me in a reflection. And I was like, “This is what life is about.” Anyway, I think that it must have something to do with feeling the most alive in that.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Do you know Esther Perel?

BAILEY: Yeah, I love Esther Perel.

WALLER-BRIDGE: So she’s written about how she believes that your next orgasm begins at the very end of your last one, which is basically our whole life just building up to our next orgasm.

BAILEY: That’s just fantastic. It’s just so positive and hopeful—

WALLER-BRIDGE: And so beautiful, isn’t it?

BAILEY: It is.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Everything that you encounter in your life, every conversation that you have, is in some way building up to the next euphoric physical experience. Every single character has to have that inside them one way or another, because every human does. And I think with Fellow Travelers, because you long for them so much as an audience and you want them to have everything that they want from each other, but they’re also brutal to themselves and to each other, there is something so extraordinary seeing characters in that time portrayed in the way that you guys have portrayed them.

BAILEY: One thing that we’re all born with is the sense of longing. Longing comes before anything else, doesn’t it? Whoever you put on the wall, laminate the poster or whatever, it’s there. And actually, if you long for someone, more often than not you don’t think you are worthy of it. And that, to me, is a way into characters.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Do you remember your laminated poster longing person?

BAILEY: I think I had the Simpsons, which was obviously me trying to disguise myself as much as possible. Lucy Liu was a big one for me, too.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Well, I can see that.

BAILEY: I suppose there’s the laminated wall in my literal bedroom and then there’s the laminated wall in my gay—

WALLER-BRIDGE: Mind.

BAILEY: Who was yours?

WALLER-BRIDGE: You know what? It’s really interesting, because I was the eagle in the Rescuers Down Under. That wasn’t necessarily a sexual longing, but it was a romantic idea, that overwhelming sense of watching the Rescuers Down Under and being able to run out of the back of my house on my own, age 10, and jump onto the back of a giant eagle and he’ll fly me around. But in terms of just a hottie that I really fancied, I think it was probably Leo [DiCaprio].

BAILEY: Oh, yeah.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Are you a nostalgic person?

BAILEY: Yes, I think so. I think a lot about my younger self. I’m always like, “Guys, remember this?” It’s slightly annoying, but I’m always drawing a line between the past and now for sure.

WALLER-BRIDGE: That’s how you measure your life, by remembering the time that’s gone by or what 11-year-old you would think of what you were doing?

BAILEY: I think I’m probably more romantic than nostalgic, if that makes sense.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Go on.

BAILEY: Well, I just think I’ve fully committed to the idea of everything being brilliant and then I work backwards from there.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Well, having starred in two hit period dramas and also being a huge part of the fact that they are a hit, that’s why I wondered about what your relationship is with the past and history, and how much you actually knew about McCarthy America?

BAILEY: Oh, no. Have you got a quiz?

WALLER-BRIDGE: I actually don’t. Do you want one?

BAILEY: No, that would be the worst.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Do you enjoy historical novels? Do you live in the past in any way in your mind? Or you are kind of like, “We’re here and we’re moving forward?”

BAILEY: I do think I’m here and moving forward. I really struggled with history at school, I could not take in information about the past. When it came to exams, I would remember the page where things were written but I couldn’t stitch together epochs and eras and kings.

WALLER-BRIDGE: It crashes my brain, too. I have a friend, and you can say to her, “June 24th, 1999,” and she can tell you pretty much what she was up to.

BAILEY: That’s amazing.

WALLER-BRIDGE: You can see her go into the diary in her mind. She has a very different wiring of her brain. But speaking of longing, are there any fictional or real life couples, gay or straight, that captured your heart over the years?

BAILEY: Oh my god, what a question. What about Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling in Blue Valentine?

WALLER-BRIDGE: I think Morticia and Gomez Addams were the most romantic couple.

BAILEY: Yeah, I see that.

WALLER-BRIDGE: They understood it. They got it all.

BAILEY: Also maybe Ryan and Marissa in The OC.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Any gay male couples that you ever looked up to or were romanced by?

BAILEY: Well unfortunately, there just weren’t that many were there growing up.

WALLER-BRIDGE: So wild.

BAILEY: But I met Matthew Rhys recently, who I just love. And I was thinking about that relationship in Brothers and Sisters. And then there was Queer as Folk. Russell, T. Davies changed the game. So many people owe so much to him just purely for visibility. There is no Tim and Hawk to a 2023 audience without Queer as Folk.

WALLER-BRIDGE: But did you feel frustrated?

BAILEY: Well, speaking of history, I was doing media studies with an amazing teacher and I decided that I was going to do my dissertation about the representations of Hutus and Tutsis and the Rwanda genocide, looking at Hotel Rwanda and Shooting Dogs. And then Brokeback Mountain came out and I was like, “Hang on, how can I possibly create a world where I can go and have a free pass to go to the cinema to watch it 10 times?” I’m really proud of my 17-year-old self, I wasn’t necessarily out, but I changed the topic to representation of homosexuality in Brokeback Mountain and I watched that film 10 times. And this amazing teacher, Dr. Brunton, who probably had an idea of what was going on, was just like, “This is brilliant, keep going, keep going.” And I think it was the best mark I ever got.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Do you still have it?

BAILEY: It must be on a hard drive upstairs in the attic. And obviously, that completely changed me, something chemical happened there. But it’s funny, I’m not clear on memories. And I do think it’s a common thing for a lot of people, growing up and having to survive and be basically in fight or flight, there’s a murkiness to how I recall.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Of course, because you couldn’t be truly present because you weren’t being completely yourself.

BAILEY: Totally, yeah.

WALLER-BRIDGE: When you look back and start unpacking it, do you feel overwhelmed with sympathy for how hard you were having to work as a 16-year-old, coming up with excuses to see the movie that you wanted to see?

BAILEY: Yeah. But I spent more time trying to be sympathetic towards the people that were around me who didn’t support or couldn’t help. I look back and I go, “Hell.”

WALLER-BRIDGE: Yes. But you are representing that and living that for so many people now. Your speech at the Critics Choice Awards the other day was so sublime and beautiful and straight from the heart. You are so electric as a human being and that is the most important thing. There aren’t many people in the world that can do that, that can stand there in front of people and speak from their heart about what it means to them to be given this opportunity. And I know that your career is just going to be the most extraordinary journey. When I first met you, I remember sitting with Josh [Cole], who was the producer on Crashing, and we were like, “If we get this guy, it’s going to be the game changer for the show.” And I know that every single person now wanting you on their project is feeling the same thing.

BAILEY: I definitely feel overwhelmed by that, but it’s lovely to hear.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Can I just ask you one question which I couldn’t remember about Crashing?

BAILEY: Yeah.

WALLER-BRIDGE: The frosted tips were your idea, wasn’t it?

BAILEY: I had this conversation today. I think it’s in the script. But my reference picture was Justin Timberlake in double denim.

WALLER-BRIDGE: No, I don’t think it was [in the script], because Sam’s a character that I hold closest to my heart because, in so many ways, he represents how I feel about maybe my inner life. I just love him so much, and your ability to play every single little corner of him that I dreamed of.

BAILEY: Maybe that’s the answer I was looking for when you asked if I was drawn to any romantic couples? No, it was just about wanting bleach blonde hair.

Source

[jobrolion]

𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔢 𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯 - 𝔯𝔬𝔥𝔞𝔫 𝔨𝔦𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔟𝔢

rohan x gn!reader

cw | smut, innapropriate stand use, slight somnophelia, overstimulation, dominant reader

wc | 1835

****

Josuke saluted you as he was rushed out the door, his laughing growing muffled as the distance between the two of you grew wider. A disgruntled Rohan rested his back against the door, eyeing you down as you sobered up.

“I’m sorry, Rohan. I really am. Things just got carried away, he’s such a fun kid, you know?”

“Oh I’m well aware, dear.”

You took a step closer to your boyfriend, testing the waters.

“I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to distract you. I should’ve known this would happen.” 

Josuke’s invitation was a result of Rohan’s fast approaching deadlines. A last ditch effort to remove you from his environment, because heaven knows he can’t distract himself from you. 

Rohan sighed, bringing the heel of his hand to his temple. Usually you rolled your eyes at his pity parties, but he looked so exhausted and tense. If he keeps going at this rate, he’ll burn out before the year is up. 

Knowing he would get no more work done today, Rohan resigned to the couch, already coming up with excuses to give his publisher.

Next to him, you took your usual place on the left side of the couch. Hesitant to reach over, you folded your hands neatly on your lap. 

“I accept your apology.” He said, eyes forward. It seemed like he had more to add, but nothing followed and you smiled.

“Thank you.” 

Rohan huffed and took a peek over to you, your smile turning into a goofy grin. 

“I’ve missed you.” You started, “It’s been so long since we’ve had any time together.”

“What is this? What’s with that look on your face?” 

“What look?”

Rohan gestured to you in your entirety. “You’re up to something. I don’t want to play this game.”

“It’s nothing too bad, my love, I promise. It's just that, well, what I think you need is incentive.” 

His silence told you he was listening.

“You need to finish by your deadline tomorrow night, right?”

“Yes, but-”

“Tomorrow, by your deadline, if you have finished your work I will use my stand on you, all night long.” 

Rohan breathed hard, not knowing if he could handle a night being the target of your stand.

“You want that, yes?”

He nodded, his eyes averting from your intense gaze. You can’t help but be giddy whenever you’re able to make Rohan flustered.

“Alrighty then. Get to work, Kishibe.”

He hesitated when he stood up, you had gotten him worked up and now the last thing he wanted to be doing was working. By the time he thought to kiss you goodbye, you had already turned away. 

Stand Name - Lover Come Over

When Lover Come Over is within a 5 meter radius of its target, every sensation is amplified. The closer it is, the stronger the sensation.

Stand Stats

Power - C

Speed - C

Range - B

Durability - E

Presicion - A

Potential - B

Rohan sat at his desk, head down with one hand in his hair, the other clutching his pen with enough force that soon he had to drop it, grunting as he did. You hadn’t used your stand on him in months. He longed for it. To be overwhelmed by all his senses and completely at your mercy. 

“Fuck.” 

Hour after hour he worked. His eyes never leaving the paper for a single second, his will was iron. His goal was set and he would not falter. 

But by the first rays of sunlight, he had collapsed onto his work.

When you woke you rolled over to find the opposite side of the bed was cold. This made you frown. 

You dressed quickly and headed down the hall to Rohan’s study. He was still sitting there working and didn’t even glance up when he heard the door creak open. Most likely he worked through the night. You debated pushing him to take a break, but for completely selfish reasons you decided against it. You wanted him bad and a break would only delay your satisfaction.

After a long day at work, you came home, kicking your shoes off at the door and making your way upstairs. 

The door to the study was still cracked from when you opened it that morning and through it you could hear his soft snores. When you walked in you saw the uncomfortable position your lover had found himself in. 

Whispering his name, you placed your hand on his shoulder, rubbing softly, earning you a hum of contentment. 

Eventually, Rohan sat up straight, an almost panicked look on his features. And if only for your own sadistic enjoyment, you encouraged him. 

“Last page. You got this baby.”

You perched on the edge of his desk, watching as he quickly outlined and filled the last of it. He packaged the papers in an envelope, and finally it was completed. 

“Now you need rest. I don’t want you feeling extra tired.” You giggled at your own joke.

Rohan glared at you, but no malice was behind those eyes. “Only if you come with me.”

Taking his hand in yours, you led him to the bedroom where you both changed clothes and crawled into bed. You wrapped your arms around him, as usual, and he fell asleep with a smile, also as usual.

It was dark when you woke up, spooned by the man you loved. A silent yawn left you and it was then that you felt something rubbing up against your ass. 

You smirked and whispered, “Lover Come Over.”

A purple-blue figure haloed in yellow light appeared above you. You directed your energy toward Rohan and immediately became aware of the effect your stand was already having on the man. 

He whined and brought his fist up to his mouth where he bit onto it, muffling the sounds. 

You turned to face your love, “None of that, baby. Wake up, Rohan. Wake up.”

Trailing down from his collarbone, your hand traveled lower and lower until you cupped the bulge in his pants. His eyes shot open and a pornographic moan left his mouth.

Your name fell from Rohan’s lips once, twice, gasps, barely registered, but you knew what was said. Your stand was right on top of him, the pleasure from your feathery touch was almost enough to send him spiraling, but you wouldn’t let that happen so you removed your hand and kissed his cheek before sitting on your heels beside him.

“Not so fast. I told you all night, remember?”

“You did…” 

“That’s right. Now where do you want me?”

He looked surprised to hear the question and didn’t know how to answer. He wanted you in all the ways right now all at once. It seemed so useless for you to ask anyway, he’d only end up how you thought was best. That was all he needed in this state. The all encompassing stimulation blurring the edges of his world made it too hard to answer silly questions like yours.

“Well?”

“I want your mouth.” He whispered.

“As you wish.”

You gave him a long, sloppy kiss, not caring how proficient you were proving yourself to be. Your kisses moved lower, making sure that not an inch of his skin went unloved. 

Before long, your teeth met the drawstring of his loose sweatpants. Your fingers aided in their removal before you took his already aching sex.

“Oh Rohan. Am I really having this effect on you? That’s so sweet.” You cooed.

He fought hard to keep his mouth shut, a witty comeback wouldn’t do him any favors.

“Nothing to say to that, dear?”

This time his lips parted to speak, but before he could, yours already surrounded his tip. All that came out of him was a garbled moan.

You wrapped one hand around his cock and the other circled his propped up thigh, nails digging into the skin there. Rohan would die for this mix of pain and pleasure.

By now you had taken as much of him in your mouth as you could. Your pace was slow, you didn’t want him cumming yet. 

You looked up at him expecting to be met by his gaze, but his eyes were locked on the ceiling. 

See, Rohan had gotten good at this. If you had told him not to cum, he wouldn’t. His sheer will would keep him from his orgasm despite your best efforts to make him break his promise.

You pulled away from him slowly, fist pumping him a couple times before you grabbed his hands and crawled up his body. 

Quickly and clumsily you removed your clothes and took a seat on Rohan’s stomach, regaining control of his hands and pinning them on either side of his head. You peppered his cheeks and lips with kisses, moving lower to his neck and sucking kiss marks on his collarbones.

All the while he stared in awe at you, like you were his god. At this moment it could be argued that you were. 

“Please, please.” 

You knew what he was pleading for, and you gave him what he wished.

Positioning yourself above him and lining up, you sank down on his cock. You took your time before fully seating yourself. Once you did, you gave Rohan a moment. 

Your stand was a little further away now. Too much stimulation has been known to ruin the fun, so you mind your lover and allow him to take a few breaths. 

He called your name, hands struggling under yours.

“I love you, baby.”

You started moving, slowly at first, but that would not last long. 

His hips started meeting yours at some point, sending you both into a lust fueled frenzy. At this point, anything goes and Rohan used that to his advantage. He flipped you onto your back and buried his face in your neck, and pulled you closer by the shoulders.

He started chanting your name, praises, and declarations of love and adoration, thrusting harder with each word. You lightly scratched your nails down his back eliciting a low groan and earning you a few more kisses.

Without warning your climax washed over you, a legs shaking, head spinning orgasm that had you gripping Rohan even tighter.

“Cum for me, Rohan. Please!”

With your permission, he thrust a few more times before pulling out and spilling onto your stomach. He nearly fell on you as he collapsed, breath heavy with a tear in his eye.

He was never one to recover quickly to begin with, but under the effect of your stand he was rendered powerless.

You wiped your stomach with your discarded shirt before resting your head on Rohan’s chest, thumb rubbing light circles on his skin. 

“You can recall your stand now. I might break with any more of this.” He said, voice breathy and low. 

You did as you were told, humming contentedly before the fatigue overwhelmed you and you fell asleep. 

Rohan fought to stay awake, basking in this moment for as long as he could. 

****

title reference

lover you should've come over - jeff buckley

****

a/n | i haven't written anything in ages, i hope it doesn't show too badly, but i'm back to it so hopefully i'll get more comfortable with it soon

[darcytaylor]

As someone with ADHD, like Luke, and the rejection sensitivity and anxiety that comes with it, I don’t have public social media profiles. So on one hand, I have some empathy for him. I really understand the low self-esteem, high levels of self-criticism, people pleasing tendencies, overwhelm, executive dysfunction, and stress. But he chose to go into film/ TV acting rather than theatre, knowing that the recognition and scrutiny that comes with it would be worse. He chose to go into acting even though it’s known that rejection is a huge part of the job. He has chosen to keep social media. He could have totally deleted all of his profiles when he deleted Twitter. Many actors aren’t online, including his own cast mates. I find it hard to believe that he solely kept it to please the fans, since he doesn’t post snippets of his life like he once did. He also chose to share that his profile is just for work now. Yet, he has been caught liking his girlfriend’s photos within minutes, even though he has a private account to do that, while Nicola posts about Bridgerton and he can’t even be bothered to throw her a like or a comment- let alone posting something himself. It’s been months of this. If he’s already online, it doesn’t take a lot to screenshot a news headline and share it to his story with a “thank you, these numbers are incredible”. So, on the other hand, I understand where the frustration is coming from. Is this a work account or not? The timing of some of those online-but-not-for-Bridgerton incidences coupled with the timing of the InStyle and premiere stunts was not a good look. It makes him seem ungrateful and like he wants nothing to do with the show. It’s his bad luck that Nicola is the internet’s darling. He won’t ever have her social media savvy and I do feel for him there. She outshines him in interviews and online. But the bar is really on the floor for him and a lot of fans are handling him with kid gloves (not you by any means). A lot of the criticism he’s facing is fair. He’s in an overwhelming situation right now, but he has the financial means to tackle it through therapy and by handing over his social media account to the publicists he already pays. I was jealous when he mentioned he has coping strategies for his ADHD and dyslexia in Bowral- it’s still a struggle for me. Unfortunately for me and women everywhere, we weren’t adequately included in ADHD research until the 90s and there wasn’t even a long-term study until 2002. I’ve been in weekly therapy for 5 years now, following a major breakdown coupled with grief, and for 4 of those years, I was waiting for an appointment with a covered psychiatrist to get *any* diagnosis, since I didn’t have the thousands needed to pay for my own private testing. If I have been able to prioritize this within my meagre free time and budget (rather than trips, nights out, restaurants, unnecessary shopping, etc. and with some debt), he can easily do the same. That lifestyle isn’t quite how I imagined my young adulthood would pan out. One Soho Farmhouse weekend of his could pay for a few months. And he’s had months on end since season 3 wrapped filming when he could have done intensive daily therapy, especially after his break up, rather than pursuing 20 year olds online or jetting off to another holiday. Maybe he did- I don’t know his life- but maybe he needs more right now. When he turned on Nicola’s notifications and started liking random posts she was tagged in by brands, I already assumed he had handed over his account. If so, his team should extend that to story posts for Bridgerton news. All of that to say, my empathy has its limits. The barriers currently holding him back have solutions.

Thank you for your response and taking the time to write in an ask. I appreciate you!

I do understand the frustration/disappointment of how Luke is handling some things (especially his social media). It seems like this is an area of his life that could be an easy fix for him (hand it over to someone more capable) and he just can't seem to take that step.

Luke is overwhelmed (as he has stated multiple times) and while I can also say it is the life he chose, I think it could also be a case of not realizing exactly what his industry entails.

It's easy to say that he's the one that chose it, but if he's doing something he loves to do, it was probably worth the risk in the end. Maybe he truly believed he could handle things like this. Hindsight is 20/20.

I am sorry that you weren't able to afford the proper health care and it has taken you so long to get a diagnosis. I hate that things like that are unattainable without money. It should not be the case.

Luke is privileged in that aspect for sure and it sucks when it seems like people take that for granted. Although hopefully, like you have also stated, he has been able to seek the help that he may need. All things like this take time and is also very personal (I don't want to further speculate on that matter).

I always strive to look at situations empathetically (and sometimes even to a fault). I always like to look at and come up with multiple reasons why someone may be doing what they are doing. This has let me see some situations in a different light, allowing me to be empathetic or sympathetic to situations. I know that with most situations it is never the case of being black and white (life is nuanced, people are nuanced). So many things can be at play at one time, and most of the time I can see valid reasons why someone is doing what they are doing (even when they are making bad choices).

Obviously I don't know what is going on with Luke at the moment, or where his head is truly at. But I have faith that he will come around and straighten himself out. I don't think he has done anything that is completely unforgivable, so I'm giving him a little bit of grace.

[archivalofsins]

Addendum (September 23, 2024 5:03pm )- It was brought to my attention by a concerned friend inquiring if something had happened yesterday that this post can come off as complaining about a fandom issue of some sort. Because of how often "Don't be like x" (in particularly Futa) has been used in regards to ongoing Milgram fandom incidents.

It was not my intention to invoke those sort of alarming past experiences for anyone that may have come across this post. My intentions when writing this were to interrogate the prevalence of that phrasing when it came to Futa as a character while including the prisoner paired with him known for bullying as well.

To put it in a plain and jovial way- These are my feelings in regards to this topic in a meme format,

Since I have now been informed of how emotionally disruptive this phrasing can be given the things it's been associated with in the past at least within the tumblr Milgram community I will be putting it under a cut with one more addendum further down that uses the same phrasing.

Once again saying to not be like Mu.

It's easy for individuals to understand why they shouldn't be like Futa. In a lot of ways, not many people would see their actions as being similar to his even when they are. This is why I stress not to be like Mu either.

Because it seems to me that a lot of people are comfortable with being bullies as long as they convince themselves they were the victim first.

A trait that's present throughout both Futa and Mu's narratives. Even if not many people recognize how emotionally manipulative, insidious, and abusive this sort of behavior is socially.

Because just like with these two, some will convince themselves it's the other parties fault for doing something wrong first.

That the person who did something wrong should just,

"You apologize if you do something wrong, you learn that even before words, don't you?"

Q.09 Do you want to apologise to the person you killed?

Mu: I think the person who did something wrong first should apologise first.

These two are simply not as different as some fans like to tell themselves. They are both reactionary bullies. Just because one goes on offense (attacks) and the other defense (cries/deflects) doesn't make one any better than the other. That's why they both got into codependent relationships with another prisoner over the first trial intermission.

Both Amane and Haruka provide them with something. Giving Futa and Mu hope and help in a difficult situation. Along with something to do with themselves to prove their own worth. They also both took on a naturing and protective role in Amane and Haruka's lives. Making the other their main priorities as of the second trial.

23/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday)

Futa: Oi, you. Is he ok? He’s not even left his room lately.

Mu: You mean Haruka-kun? Hmm. Yeah, probably. I’ve been bringing all his meals to him so he should be fine. Isn’t that great of me?

Futa: Hah? Who the hell says that sort of thing about themself. ……ah, no, well, right now I understand a bit. When you’re feeling down, it’s nice to have someone who relies on you and accepts you. The rest of us can’t really understand you from where we’re standing. But well, if you’re Haruka’s “salvation” then I guess it really is great.

Mu: Salvation……? I don’t know what you mean. Futa-kun, you don’t sound like yourself. Did you hit your head or something? Oh, wait, you actually did, didn’t you. Ahaha. Ah, putting that aside though, did you know it’s my birthday today?

Q.02 What do you think of Haruka?

Futa: I can’t afford to be worrying about other people at the moment. Anyway, he’s not a little kid.

This is also why one of my first posts discussed them together. They were both even abandoned by their groups,

"Everyone else was having fun, weren't they? What about them?! Why is it just me?!"

Q.18 Do you regret anything?

Mu: I think maybe I should have chosen my friends a bit more carefully.

Q.11 Who do you want to see right now?

Mu: I miss my friends too. But most of all, Papa and Mama.

Yeah, don't be like either of them, actually.

This is not a healthy thing to strive for. The only difference between them is that Futa takes the orders, and Mu gives them. Aptly portrayed in the relationships they've formed over the course of Milgram.

Also, a bully is a bully regardless of if they cry about it. Women have been weaponizing crying for decades. Stop pretending like this is a brand new undiscovered form of manipulation it's not.

Addendum (September 23, 2024 5:03pm ) continued: Also it was not intent to specifically call to attention Mu's characters flaws or take any digs at people who relate to her. Saying things like don't be like x character can be inconsiderate towards individuals who relate to that character a lot especially if it's something done on a consistent enough basis.

These are once again my feelings on that in meme format.