#I’ve just had anger tears leaking out of my eyes half the fucking day

[fanfoolishness]

When you wake up horny but your spouse has to go to work to launch a space rocket instead of the sexy sort, so you are le sad

Then you realize you’re just in a foul mood regardless and try to distract yourself with art

(Newsflash: it does not work and you hate everything, and sure now you have more prints but you hate all of them)

Then you think maybe you’ll distract yourself with things that need the internet, only to realize your WiFi is utterly completely dead and has been all day

So you try to reset what you think are the router(s)??? (Why does this always happen when husband, who does this stuff, is gone) Except now not only is your network not working but it is just Gone and no longer even discoverable by your devices (now you have a creeping sense of dread you have created much more work for husband)

Then you remember husband also has the home lights all set to work with WiFi

And it was a 14 hour rocket launch shift so now it’s your bedtime and he’s still not here, and you can’t turn off the lights with your phone like normal, but if you turn them off manually, he won’t be able to see anything when he comes home, so you are going to bed with half the lights on so he won’t trip and die when he gets home at 2 in the morning

And you usually fall asleep to streaming reruns, but remember: no internet, so it’s just silence and you aren’t sleepy at all even though you have to be up in the morning

And basically everything is very stupid and you hate everything and everything is the worst.

[scaramouche-bully]

can i req fem!sub / if you want gender neutral is ok, about being brat on the bed? and (seperate) kaeya, diluc ,xiao &childe respond on it?

— ☆ Bratty Sub headcanons 

Includes: Kaeya, Diluc, Xiao, and Childe

[ Sub ] Gender-neutral reader

Contains: Bratty sub, riding, dacryphilia, humiliation, rough sex, switching, coming untouched, dirty talk, degradation, choking, slut shaming, stomach bulge, masocism, minor blood, drooling + dumfication. 

— ☆ Wrecking headcanons - Childe 🐏 [ Female ]

[ masterlist ]

Apologies for the long delay. It’s been busy. 

I’ve updated my rules to limit requests to two or fewer characters as to not overwhelm myself. But since this request was before the change, I will write all four. For future requesters, please stick to two characters. 

— ☆ Kaeya

As soon as you talk back to him, he gives you most amused but pitiful look you’ve ever seen. He takes a moment to chuckle under his breath before he’s hoisting you up onto his lap, leaning his cheek on his hand, and gestures for you to continue. 

You must think you’re so cute right now. Suddenly thinking that you’re in charge? Alright, if you want to be on top then go. He won’t do anything. Let’s see how long it’ll take for you to start whining. 

He loves the flustered look you get when he suddenly gives into your demands. The brave face you try and put on as you slowly ease onto his thick cock and the frustrated whimpers you try and hide. 

It’s only when you start apologizing that he disapprovingly sighs as he grips your hips, so hard that bruises will appear the next day, and slams you down on his cock. 

“Talking back to me when you can’t even fuck yourself on my cock properly. What am I going to do with you?” he grunts out as your walls tighten around him and you scrabble to hold onto him, “You’re going to take every drop of my cum until your hole is stuffed got it? Aren’t I kind? Go on, thank me.” 

“T-Thank..mm! Yo-You -ahh! More, ah! ” you stammer out as you claw at Kaeya’s back as he forcefully lifts you and drops you on his cock. The heavy drag of his dick against your sensitive spots is maddening that muddle your head. Every time Kaeya thrusts in you feel the breath get punched out of your lungs, the skin of your abdomen stretch and burn as you try and make room for his cock. You don’t realize that you’re crying out to him as you sob into his shoulder. 

“Look at you, does that hurt? Too bad. Maybe if you didn’t act like such  a brat I would be a lot nicer,” he laughs as he viciously grabs your hair and lifts your tear stained face up “Maybe I should take a picture so I can show everyone in Mondstadt what a slut you are?”

He drops your face harshly as he grips your wrists and pulls your hands behind you before he flips you both over so he’s on top of you. Your arms are at an awkward angle that strain them but when he suddenly starts pounding into you with the new leverage, whatever complaints you have are quickly replaced with moans. You mewl at the idea, your friends and family seeing how much of a wreck Kaeya can make you. It makes you burn in humiliation at the idea and you know that Kaeya would do it in a heartbeat. It’s that thought that has you cumming as Kaeya curses and buries himself as deep as he can go, painting your insides with his cum. While you’re catching your breath, Kaeya swipes at the cum that leaked out of your hole as he brings his cum stained fingers to your mouth.

“Open up,” he says, his voice sweet even as he pry’s your mouth open for you. You, naturally, bite his fingers but also lick him clean. It makes his star pupils dilate as he takes in the image before shoving his fingers into the back of your throat so you choke, “You’re so cute. It seems I have a lot to teach you about manners brat.”

— ☆ Diluc

Diluc has to deal with too many problematic issues given to him by incompetent people. It’s weeks like these when his patience runs extremely thin, even when he tries to suppress his temper. 

Naturally, these are your favourite weeks to irk the man. To see just how much you can get away with and how far you can push his limits. From walking around with barely any clothes to flirting with the Knights that attend Angel Share.

Diluc is used to your...mannerisms. That is until Kaeya appears and he’s already glaring at you before you can make a move. Don’t you dare even try it unless you don’t want to walk the next day. 

It takes one touch on your waist from Kaeya for Diluc to snap. He’s closing the bar early and even the drunkards can tell Diluc is pissed. Kaeya blows you a kiss and a wave over the shoulder to Diluc as he locks the door behind him. 

Diluc manhandles you to the bar counter until you’re bent over with your wrists pinned behind your back. You can feel the anger radiate off Diluc as you peer over your shoulder at him. While he has a calm face, his eyes are feral as he adjusts his glove. That’s the only warning you get before he slips his hand to the front of your neck and squeezes with a vice grip. 

“D-Dil-” you cough out before you’re cut with a yelp by Diluc forcefully shoving your pants down as he shoves his fingers in, gloves still on, and stretch's your hole out. 

“Pathetic, you’re already this wet and I haven’t even done anything. Are you going to make a mess over my floors? You know what’ll happen if you do,” Diluc sneers as he arches your back and brings your face next to his, “Do you like being choked? Is that it? You filthy whore getting off on being used like this.”

“Hah..haha...Ka-Kaeya is nn-- oh is rough-er!” you manage to wheeze out as you stick your tongue out at Diluc. He still wears that same neutral expression but you can see something dark swirl in his eyes. He mumbles out, is that so? Before he slams you back down onto the counter top. You’re a bit dazed from the impact that you don’t hear the rustle of clothes, a belt unbuckling, before you’re being rammed into by Diluc’s cock. Your hands are scrabbling onto the countertop for some type of purchase as Diluc wastes no time and abuses your sensitive walls. 

“You’re. Mine.” Each word is punctuated by a deep thrust into you, “No one can fuck you like I can. Not those useless knights. Not Kaeya. Not anyone. Got it?”

You’re dumb on the pleasure of his cock rearranging your insides that you don’t respond that Diluc clicks his tongue, bends down, and sinks his teeth into your neck. An area he knows you can’t hide with your clothes and it’s too hot to be wearing a scarf without making it obvious to what’s happening now. The burst of pain is enough to send you over the edge and orgasm on his cock. Diluc curses under his breath at your walls tightening around him as he cum inside you as he catches his breath. 

“Answer me when I ask you a question.”

“Y-Yes sir...you’re the only one. Only you. Always you...” 

Your words manage to sooth him a little bit but it irks him that you’re drooling all over his countertop that he just cleaned. It’s fine, he thinks, he can make you lick it up later. 

— ☆ Xiao

He's a puppy that wants to impress you, but everyone has a breaking point. The constant taunting of how, despite being a powerful adepti, he can’t even pleasure a mortal in bed sends something feral inside him ablaze. 

He doesn’t want to hurt you so he focuses his efforts into fucking you so good that you end up babbling praises instead. It makes him feel so warm inside when he sees your normally smug face turn dumb as you tell him he’s doing so well. 

It’s the only time you can ask Xiao to be more rough with you without him worrying about breaking you. It’s so cute to you that he tries so hard that you can’t help but tease him a bit. 

“Good boy Xiao. You’re doing so well,” you whisper against Xiao’s lips as you softy kiss him. You’re finally seated on his cock with his fingers are digging into your sides, strong enough to leave marks. It took a bit of coaxing from you to get Xiao to release the death grip he had on the sheets and to move his hands to your waist. If you didn’t see hand prints or bruises the next day, you were going to make this man cry. You slowly rock back and forth as you softly moan at the feeling of his cock inside you as you make small bounces. 

“Don’t you feel good?” you ask as you take one of his hands off your waist and lead his fingers to your hole where you’re both connected. Lacing your fingers together as you force him to jerk off the small length of his cock that appears every bonce you make, “Come on. Go faster. Show me what an adeptus can do.”

“A-Are you sure?” Xiao stammers out as he looks up at you worried. His grip on your body slackens considerably as you sigh before cupping his cheeks. 

“Xiao. Are you saying you can’t? Is it too much for someone of the adepti? What a let down you are, if you can’t do it then I’ll go find someone that cAN-!” you choke on your words as Xiao suddenly slams you on your back and drives his cock to the hilt. This time he’s taking your hand in his as he places your linked hands onto your stomach so you can feel his cock wrecking your insides through your stomach. 

“W-Wait! Xiao! Ah-!”

He pulls out harshly only to slam back in desperately as he rutts against you. His cock is practically gushing pre-come as he slowly loses his sense of rhythm. A deep feral part inside him relishes in the fact that it’s his cock that makes you like this. Pupils blown wide, head thrown back, tongue lolling out. As much as it makes your entire body tremble at the onslaught of pleasure, you can’t help but let a small delirious smile appear on your face. You reach out and cling onto him, digging your nails in so deep that he bleeds, and tell him to fuck you stupid. That he’s doing such a good job and to not stop. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you” he chants as he grinds his cock into you as he cums inside and fills you with his cum. The rush of warmth has you orgasming with him. Your linked hands still on your stomach where his cum paints your walls. 

— ☆ Childe

He really likes switching half way during your fucking. As soon as you’ve had your fill being on top, he’s switching the roles. He might have been crying and begging you to let him cum a few seconds ago but now it’s his time to payback. 

Due to the abrupt switch, you’re still high on your ride and refuse to let his child take control. He loves how feral you both get in your attempts to dominate the other. 

When he finally manages to pin you down, the blood of the scratches and bite marks are still stinging but the pain get’s him rock hard. It’s like any other fight and the feeling of victory gives him a rush. 

He wastes no time in pounding into you, watching you scream as you curse him out as him laughing, leaning over to kiss you as he proceeds to rail you.  

He knows as soon as he kisses you, you’re biting his lips raw. The taste of blood makes him smirk against your own mouth and he feels your exasperated sigh at his kinks. It’s a small moment of respite as you both make out without trying to claw each other’s eyes out. When you finally separate for air, there’s a red line of saliva linking your mouths together that breaks when Childe sits up and wipes his mouth. 

“A bit eager are we?” he taunts as his fingers run over your skin, covered in his hand prints as marks, before settling on your hip. He doesn’t need to look to know his body isn’t any different. He better hope that he doesn’t need to change his shirt in front of the anyone or else they’ll suspect he went and fought a bear again. A cruel laugh escapes you as you reach up and drag him back down to your level as you whisper in his ear.

“It’s a pity fuck Tartaglia.” 

There’s a pause as Childe registers what you said before a switch flips off in his head. He lets out a low growl as he flips you onto your stomach and rams his cock into you. He relishes in the wail you let out as he grips your neck to pin your head onto the bed as he rails you into the mattress. You’re so tight around him that he has to forcefully drag his cock out just to thrust back in. He doesn’t understand how you can stay so tight even after all the rounds you both had previously. 

“You, ngh--ah! b...hah...bastard!” you gasp out and you claw at the sheets as his cock fucks you so well. He slams in so deep that has you spasming with each and every thrust. 

“Behave now,” he hisses out as he bites down on the back of neck as he muffles his moans as he cums inside you. Feeling him spill inside you sends a shudder of pleasure through your body that has your withering on his cock as you cum alongside him. When you’ve both caught your breath is when you elbow him in the stomach and knock him backwards so you’re back on top. He can tell you’re pissed and he’s never felt more excited. 

[beann-e]

haikyu characters reacting to you screaming back at them

sorry , I changed the characters I went with originally for this but , this is to thank everyone for 500 followers !

tsukishima

- he would only scream at you if his comments of telling you to shut up weren’t working

- then he’d just get pissed off because hey ? how else can he tell you to shut up in a nice way except

“ y/n “ you perked up as you looked at the blonde to the left of you on the bench “ look at me “

you smiled softly eyes never meeting his as he stared ahead not turning to look at you “ tsukki how can you tell me to look at you — then you don’t look at me“ your laugh rang out in the gym loud enough for him to hear and for his body to tighten reminding him why he was pissed off right now

His head turning to you smile spread across his face tightly, eyes roaming your face until he spoke voice holding a tone that rivaled the sweet look on his face “ I swear on hinata and the kings freaky quick y/n —if I hear your laugh one more time i’m going to suffocate you and pound you in the head with a volleyball “

your eyes widened as you turned away from the male “ no no no turn back around baby i’m not done yet “

you followed his words hanging on every word as he continued “ you’ve been chewing my ear off all fucking practice and i’m —look it’s pissing me off you talk talk talk and I really doubt “

he shook his head turning away from you “ if you even know what your saying at this point “ he scoffed “ cause I don’t “

The gym went quiet as everyone started to listen to the argument happening next to them him never stopping the vile words that spilled out from his mouth “ I doubt anytime you speak really if your even talking about something important or if you simply just wanna “ he shrugged his shoulders “ talk“

His mouth quirked up in smirk “ honestly would rather hear pipsquek over there talk about the little giant ten times a day than hear you speak at all “

you dropped your eyes to look at the floor him not trying to stop you only thanking god for the peace and quiet head leaning back to look up to the ceiling in thanks

tanakas voice coming out loud as his anger bounced off the wall of the gym “ you have a beautiful s/o like that and you bully them “ he scoffed mumbling under his breath in pure annoyance “ i’ll show you a bully beanstalk “

daichis hand slapped across tanakas chest like a seatbelt “ you do not need to partake in this trust me your not needed “

“ oi tanaka-san i’ve got your back bro “ nishinoyas small body stomped through the gym as he smiled wickedly at tsukishima only to be grabbed and pulled into daichis hold his small body tucked under daichis arm as he flailed around screaming out small profanities

“ there’s no need becau—- “

“ y’know if you want to hear hinata talk about how he was going to reward you tonight because, of your amazing test score then “ you smiled looking forward “ really go ahead —I don’t mind less work for me “

You giggled softly “ honestly , i’d have thought you’d rather receive your surprise from me but, I always knew you had a thing for him since you make fun of him constantly—he’s always on your mind seriously even when we were watching a movie you’ll bring up something stupid he did at practice “ tsukishimas mouth let out short breaths of air trying to find words to stop you

“hinata—I swear he’s got a boy crush on you “ you could feel the male next to you now eyeing you in disgust and holding even more anger than he had earlier

hinatas body rippled as he waved his body around excitedly thinking of your words really just happy to be included “ YOU DO” his face dropping quickly when he started thinking finally registering your words “ tsukki — TSUKII YOUR A GUY YOU HAVE A —“ he coughed regaining himself chest puffed out as he spoke clear with meaning

“well while I do appreciate the admiration i’d like to say — you have a partner and I don’t really feel very comfo— “

“ YOU DUMBASS THEIR JUST JOKING “ kageyamas voice raced through the room as he slapped hinatas head hard enough that sent him straight to the gym floor eyes rolling back in his head tears leaking out slowly

“ you may continue y/n-senpai we—we all give you“ kageyamas eyes twinkled in love before they went cold tsukishimas own eyes rolling with a small scoff “ and shittyshima our attention”

you turned to look at your boyfriend mock confusion on your face “ god tsukki you should have just told me you liked hinata better I would have let you go then “ you shook your head as he scoffed at your next words your face falling to sadness eyes searching his pure disappointment laced throughout your voice

“ and here I thought you were a big boy capable of dating someone older but I guess “ he was starting to get pissed off of course he could handle you how dare you say he couldn’t “ I guess your not capable of it “

“ I am capable “ he said softly turning to you who did exactly what he did moments ago and ignored the heartbroken look held in the eyes that drilled into your side “ i’m fully capable of listening to you y/n I swear “

you smirked never meeting his gaze “ y’know what here let’s do this “ your smile went wide as you zipped up your jacket and turned while reaching into your backpack

“ what—what are you doing “ his voice was low watching your hands gracefully open the bag and pull out a piece of strawberry cake “ wait— you—you got that for me because of my—”

“ no” you laughed “ no— of course I didn’t get this for you what would make you think of that tsukishima “

his heart dropping “ tsukishima—wha—y/n wheres tsu—“

“I got this for my boyfriend who loves to hear me talk and knows how to say things nicely “

“ but—-but that’s me so you did—you got it for me ?“

you laughed “ no this “ you pointed to the cake “ this is what that person deserved—that nice guy— but this“ your hand moved to open the container as you threw it in his face smooshing his head into it and pulling your hand back as he moved to scoop the icing from his eyes

“ this is for assholes “ you giggled “ like yourself“ you closed the container and moved your hands to set it next to him taking your finger and dipping it into the icing that covered his nose to lick it off your finger as you kissed the now ‘un-iced’ part of his nose

Head moving to whisper in his ear “ you pull some shit like that again and i’m leaving your ass you dont talk to me like that — i’m not yams do you understand me “

“ yes “ his answer was short and low but you knew he understood you as he moved to take his glasses off watching through blurry eyes as you left the gym

Daichi dropping a wide eyed nishinoya to the ground and letting go of his grip on a mouth foaming tanaka “ the reason I said you guys didn’t need to help is because — I trust that y/n knows how to handle a situation like that on their own “ he laughed “ how else would they be dating our wonderfully polite first year if they couldn’t take him “

Your head popped back in the gym as you winked over at the boy knowing he couldn’t see it. Body stopping in a halt while cleaning his glasses you were right he couldn’t see you but he could feel you were there —he could feel something evil lurking changing the air in the once breathable room silently cursing himself out in his head for talking to you the way he did earlier “ oh yeah and guys “

everyone turned to you as he muttered out a low fuck “ tsukishima — your star shit talker yeah—he wears dino undies “ you smiled brightly “ with matching socks “

You turned to hinata already knowing what he was going to ask when you left “no you can’t —he and yams already have matching pairs “ you turned to yams his face red and slowly moving away from everyone else in embarrassment “ sorry babes’—one goes down you all go down together “

the door slamming echoed throughout the gym as everyone went quiet kageyamas voice the first to come out as he tried to stifle his laughs, Coach ukai laughing softly before catching himself and screaming at tsukishima to clean himself and his bench up, the team turning away as nishinoya and tanaka defeated the rest of the boys ego in comments asking how many pairs he had while hinata asked if he ever wanted to match he and yams could go shopping for the taller male.

Yamaguchi to the boys rescue as he watched him clean off his glasses and throw them back on. Tsukishimas hand only reaching out to his side with a low sigh to eat the remaining bit of cake youd just smashed in his face “ god — so perfect “

Suna

-he would get so upset if you keep annoying him about trying. it goes with or for anything

-you would be telling him could he at least put a bit more effort into the relationship and he’d spazz

-or even you telling him the reason you had to drag him out tonight was because, there was no food at home and he would get mad assuming you just wanted to take him from the comfort of his own home

The quiet was loud and spoke for itself as you and the male before you sat across from each other in the restaurants booth. The air swirling in and out of your ear as you waited for him to say something.

Your eyebrows furrowed before you opened your mouth to speak “ bab- “

“ I didn’t want to come out tonight “

your face fell as you waited for him to continue speaking only for him to go deadly silent, uninterested gaze stuck on yours, his body relaxed and leaned down into the booth head thrown back to show off his half lidded eyes. His legs outstretched under the table god he looked so lazy.

Your mind raced thinking how was it even possible to look lazy In public

Your mouth tucked into itself before you let it go a small sigh leaving it “ suna there was no foo— “

“ I wanted to eat at home “ even though he looked relaxed you could tell his voice was tense.

You could feel your body losing itself at his behavior he was such a child when he didn’t get what he wanted and when he was forced outside. Throwing tantrums and whining any time you brung him shopping or stayed out too long and he would start to miss his houses comfort

Your weight getting pulled into the ground to a pit of anxiety. you just wanted to disappear you knew he was leading you down the trail of his attitude.

One more time that’s all it would take one more question , statement, anything spoken and he would snap.

It wasn’t often that it happened but when it did it wasn’t pretty

you heard the scoff that left his mouth as his eyes widened a bit before going back to their half lidded state causing you to shift in your chair uncomfortably

“ so you figured it out — “ he laughed softly “ so now instead of speaking your mind like usual your gonna try to stop the argument before it starts “

he smiled “ neat game “

His arms came down on the table in a huff his face showing a small smirk before it dropped “ gotcha baby —i’ll play —look who’s coming over here “

“ HI, what can I get you guys today “ the lady smiled at you as you dropped your head shaking it carefully already knowing what was going to take place

“ would you two like to start off wit-“

“ how about we start with nothin—“

“ suna “ your voice was warning

“ what “ you heard the challenge laced in his own as he spoke again“ is there something you wanted to do ? or maybe had your mind set on doing ? somewhat like myself ? “

“ maybe — maybe I should come back “ the woman moved to leave your boyfriend voice deep “ don’t move “

you snapped your face to look at him warning him to stop he was enjoying this he knew you couldn’t touch him or even come close. You wouldn’t dare not in public.

“ y’know what I do want to order “ he smirked turning to face the lady who was a bit taken back at the male her body heating up when she saw his smile you knew she had a crush

“ I just wanted to know “ here it comes “ what do you like ? is there anything you recommend “

he laughed moving to lean back against the seat “ on the menu that is— I mean I don’t think your eatable—or at least while working you aren’t so , i’ll suffice for right now “

you scoffed he’s always so cheesy “ well I uh “

“ please leave “ your voice was small “ just go please“

“ I am sorry “ she shook her head noticing your eyes holding a bit of annoyance before running off to a new table

“ who the hell gave you permission to take my fun from me”

“ suna your doing all of this because you didn’t want to leave the house “ you deadpanned “ seriously babe? “

“ don’t limit my problems like that “ he whispered looking around “ your making me look stupid “

“ because it is “

“ no it’s not “ he got louder “ the fuck if it is — your always dragging me somewhere that I don’t want to go I was fine on the couch we had food at home what more did we need ? we didn’t have to come out tonight y/n you just wanted to be extra and fancy“ his voice was raised higher than you’d ever heard it making you remember you two weren’t in the confinement of your own house

“ you just want to annoy the shit out of me yet again like you don’t do that enough. Everyday it’s constant nagging ‘ suna you’ve been in the house for 2 days , suna you never go out unless it’s volley , suna , suna , suna—god you never seem to shut the fuck up unless i’m throwing money at you like a stripper “

you laughter to yourself quietly before he huffed “ we had food at home “

your eyes darted out as you looked around you peoples bodies turning to stare at your table a bit shaken by the males screams “ look at you — wont even admit it — you just like putting on this fake face acting like staying at home is so bad “

he moved to grab his phone harshly off the table scooting out the booth “ fuck this — brought me out the house to eat this crap when I could’ve made a sandwich unnecessary money — unnecessary trip “

his body froze a shudder moving over his body as his gaze went soft at the ground. Legs jumpy but unmoving as his mind raced eyes peering down at the grip you held on his wrist

“ sit the fuck “ your eyes crisp and sharp on his own “ down“ him not even waiting for you to finish before he slid back into the booth body going slack to show the others watching the drama unfold that he didn’t care that his s/o just ripped his image to shreds with three words

“ why are you doing all this huh ? “

his voice was steady “ because I wanted to eat—eat at home I said this “ he shook his head trying to laugh away the obviously tense air that was roaming throughout the restaurant due to your cold demeanor

“ tell me suna “ his name sounded foreign on your tounge when you spit it back out at him mocking the way he said it earlier “ what were you going to eat “

“ a— a sandwich “

“ baby—with what bread ? “

his mind stalled before the gears started again except steering him backwards to think back to earlier “ I—I didn’t see any bre— no “ he spoke softly trying not to show you his obvious mistake

“ aw what was that baby speak up we can’t hear you“ you directed his gaze to everyone around as he shifted to sit up so he didn’t look like he was getting his ass handed to him like a 7 year old

“ I said um — there was “ he shook his head wanting to deny that you were right so badly “ fuck there was no bread”

“ ok and what happens to your so called planned dinner if there’s no bread “

he coughed “ no sandwich y/n “

“ awww no sandwich? “ the fake sadness on your face evident as you mocked him

“ fuck you y/n “

“ not tonight “ his body sinking when he saw the ghosts of smiles on the people’s faces that were listening in on you two

his head dropping to whisper “ I — I wasn’t even gonna try tonight maybe— maybe tomorrow so jokes on you “

you shook your head calling the waitress over as she stumbled a bit scared of your table and the negative energies it held “ ye— “

“ get me my check “

“ you — you only bought water “

you smirked thought about teasing your boyfriend yet again “ no I bought a sandwich remember “

“ wh— “

“ but no really jokes aside —can you actually bring me a “ your mouth moved fast as you asked for your favorite food and for it to be brought out and packaged in a to go box the shared table quiet between you two him never looking up until the waitress came back about 10 minutes later

Her hands stuffed full with 2 boxes and a small one containing the dessert you ordered “ thank you “ you smiled widely

Legs moving to stand as suna followed deciding to make yet again another sly comment“ so you did all this just to buy us dinner to go? real fucking classy y/—“

“ who said us ? “ you let out a small laugh as you took a glance at his face your eyebrows furrowing before they relaxed

“ suna this is for me “

“ wh—“

“ your right we are going home “

“ home but ? we— I didn’t get anything to eat “

you laughed walking off opening the door to the restaurant watching as he stayed still his body never moving from the booth you two sat at moments ago “ baby there’s nothing at home remember “

“ oh but I thought there was “ you smiled softly before your face came up in mock confusion “ your sandwich no ? “

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

The God of Magic just wants humanity to be happy and thriving;

Version 1, Good!Merlin

INTRO

(Version 2, Dark!Merlin)

~

“You’re late.”

From their place in the bushes, the gang can see a wide grin break out on the woman’s face as she raises an eyebrow:

“You’re always getting distracted by pretty flowers or interesting conversations, how was I supposed to know that you’d be on time for once?”

Her voice somehow sounds like an ocean in a storm, ear-splittingly loud as the sound cuts right through them to the core, but also a gentle stream, soft and clear and soul-cleansing. The gang struggle not to flinch in their confusion.

Merlin chuckles slightly, shaking his head as he softly replies:

“Ah, I see, you were expecting me to be late, so you told me to turn up half a candle-mark before you intended to get here.”

She raises an eyebrow and nods:

“In the hopes I wouldn’t have to stand around and wait too long,-”

She shudders slightly as her face falls, though she manages to look beautifully intimidating even with a slight scowl on her face:

“-you know how much I hate it up here, on dry land.”

Merlin nods. He looks around him passingly, and the gang tense as his eyes rove over their hiding place; their fear is quickly replaced with shock (and even more confusion) as it strikes them that they’ve never seen Merlin look so relaxed, so at ease. He finally looks back to the woman:

“Hmm. I may not agree with you on that, but I understand. I could have met you at Avalon, you know.”

The woman frowns even more, and the gang can see Merlin tilt his head in question, even more so when she replies:

“I... wanted this conversation to be private, away from the prying eyes and ears of Mother and our Siblings.”

Merlin’s shoulders tense, and Arthur can vaguely see the outline of his hands clenching tightly in his pockets as his cloak billows in a sudden wind. The knights, Gwen, and Morgana all look to each other in confusion, Merlin had never spoken of siblings before, in fact, they’re fairly certain he specifically told them that he’s an only child. This woman was so drastically different from Merlin in appearance, they couldn’t possibly be related by blood. Perhaps she means "siblings" in a similar sense to how the knights are brothers?

A tense silence passes between the two, but it’s quickly broken by Merlin letting out a deep, bone-weary sigh, his relaxed demeanour completely dissolved, and looking to the floor, mumbling:

“What’s this about, Ava?”

The woman, Ava, the gang now know, lets out a sigh of her own, tilting her head and waiting for Merlin to look at her again before speaking, her voice sounding more consistently soft the more she spoke, as if she needed practice to regulate her volume:

“I think you know, Em.-”

(”Em?? I guess that could be a shortened version of ‘Merlin’, but... not really.”)

“-Time is running out, existence is threadbare as it is, and only getting worse with each passing day. The world is splitting, cracking down the middle; magic is running thin-”

Everyone feels Arthur tense at the mention of magic, even more so at Merlin’s non-reaction to the word. Though everyone is already understandably on edge by the way the woman speaks as if the world is ending around them, and they hadn’t even noticed:

“-and we are starving. The fates of The Bane-”

Mordred manages to stop himself falling backwards, but his sudden shaky breath earns him a concerned glance from Gwaine, crouched besides him:

“-and The Darkness have been avoided, if you do not move forward now, then when? With every day you stall, you plan, you stand idly by and wait, we choke on the gaping emptiness of a world that is leaking.-”

Merlin holds up a shaking hand to stop her, his other running through his hair in frustration as he murmurs:

“I know, I know-”

The gang watches with tense, morbid curiosity as Ava cuts him off, her expression both annoyed and sympathetic:

“I don’t think you do, Em. You haven’t been home in years. Could you stand it? To be God of Magic with no Magic to be God over? No universe to hold dominion over?”

Merlin scoffs slightly and walks to the side in his frustration, and the gang can see the melancholy annoyance on his face, plain as day. It’s almost enough to make them forget that he visited Ealdor just last month. It’s definitely not enough to distract them from the fact that she had called Merlin a God. The God of Magic, of all things. What the fuck??:

“I don’t hold dominion over anything I just... am.”

Ava rolls her eyes:

“That’s not the point and you know it. Mother sent you to fix the problem, to stop the purge, to encourage the Once and Future King to bring magic back and start the Golden Age. He has been King for years, but you still act as a servant. You are a God, Em, assert yourself. You could fix the world with a click of your fingers, but you wait for the humans to do it for you.-”

Merlin interrupts her slightly impassioned speech with a deep huff and a shake of the head. From where he now stands, the gang have a healthy view of his side profile, and they can see the emotions warring on his face: frustration, grief, desperation:

“That isn’t... that’s not what I’m doing-”

She rolls her eyes again and the gang are vaguely aware of a distant crack of thunder as she gestures sharply with her hands:

“That is what you’re doing. You’ve become too attached to these... mortals.-”

She steps towards him, cradling his cheek in a soft, elegant hand as her face morphs to one of complete and utter sorrow:

“-You’re setting yourself up for heartbreak, Brother. Human lifespans, the lifespan of your precious Golden King, are but a blink of an eye compared to ours; they will all wither and die and fade from you, and you will be left with your grief forever.-”

Her other hand lifts to settle comfortingly on his shoulder, and the gang can see a single tear slip from Merlin’s lowered eyes:

“-Do what you came here to do, and come home, to Avalon, we miss you, Em, the family needs you back.”

Merlin stills for a few moments at her desperate plea, but then steps back, shrugging her hands off gently and wiping the tear from his face:

“No. I... I’m doing this properly. Mother understands my fondness for humanity, that’s why she sent me, and I’m going to do it properly.”

Ava huffs out a gentle laugh at his determined expression, shaking her head slightly in fond disbelief:

“How can you love them? These... humans, when they slaughter your creations, when they don’t even know what you are?”

Merlin smiles softly, his eyes gazing into the trees as he quietly responds, his voice full of enough adoration to take the gang's breath away, to temper the twinge of fear and betrayal that had been swelling in Arthur’s lungs:

"I love them because they don't know what I am. It's nice, to be human; to walk among them, being loved and hated and respected and touched as if I were not more than they could ever possibly comprehend. Humanity is... made of juxtapositions. Their existence is contradiction upon contradiction, weaved together and held with emotions so large I can scarcely understand how they're contained in such little bodies. I've been alive and watching them for millennia, lived side-by-side with them for almost three decades, and they still surprise me. To walk among them, to see them come to terms with this universe that We made for them, to see how desperately they crave knowledge, exploration, experience... it's beautiful. The way they love so fully, the way they find meaning and importance in every grain of sand, every ray of sun, every tuft of fur on every creature, it's humbling. It's astounding."

Ava has a soft smile on her face, looking as if she could listen to her Brother ramble about his love for humanity for decades. She shakes her head slightly, letting out a gentle sigh as she asks:

"Then why won't you save them? The Gods will starve without magic, but humanity will starve without the Gods."

Merlin pauses for a moment, his face scrunched in concentration as he tries to think of the right way to verbalize his thoughts. 

The gang stare on in unconcealed bafflement; the realisation that Merlin is some kind of God brings less fear or anger than they think it should. Maybe it’s the shock, or maybe it’s the reverent way he speaks about them. Either way, they stay still and silent in their hiding place, and eventually Merlin’s face settles back into a soft smile as he looks to his Sister:

"I wish to see them save themselves, not because We need them to, but because they want to. Because their desperation to explore this universe will one day outweigh their misguided hatred of magic.-"

He nods decisively, repeating in a confident voice:

"-I wish to see them save themselves."

Ava sighs once more, stepping toward Merlin and putting her hand back on his shoulder:

“Your wishes may soon become... irrelevant. We’re dying, Emrys,-”

Arthur struggles to hold in a gasp at that. Emrys. He knows that name. Apparently it’s the name of a God, and not just some secret sorcerer who took a fancy to Camelot and deemed himself it’s protector. Lancelot’s eyes widen, though he manages to hide his shock well; no one else is focused on anyone else’s reactions, all internally freaking out. 

Mordred is pale and breathing shallowly, being the only one in the group who had already known the full truth. Percival looks to be in shock, he grew up with the stories of Emrys, but to learn that Emrys was a God? That Merlin was said God? Not what he was expecting out of this little trip. Gwaine, Gwen, Morgana, and Elyan look worried, seeming to have pushed aside their shock in favour of being concerned over Merlin’s safety and sorrow. Leon stares upon the scene with scholarly-looking curiosity, hiding his apprehension and shock well. Arthur’s expression is... unreadable. Ironically, the only person capable of knowing what he was thinking just from looking at him was currently having an incredibly terrifying conversation with someone who is also presumably some kind of God(dess). 

“-time is running out. I know that you don’t want to, but... it might be best to tell them the truth. You adore your humans because of their ability to love, do you not think they love you enough to forgive you your deceptions?”

Merlin clenches his jaw, and it’s the anguish on his face, paired with his almost-whispered words, that breaks their hearts:

“I... no. Just because I love them does not mean they love me back. I’m just a servant, Ava, I’ll never be important enough to be forgiven, God or not; I’ve lied to them for over ten years.”

She sighs, letting a tear of her own fall as she quietly responds:

“Emrys, you undervalue your worth, they don’t-”

“No. I don’t. You’re right, I have one life-time with them, with... with Arthur, and then I’ll lose them, and I’ll spend the rest of eternity grieving. I refuse to taint the already short time I have with them by having to watch them grow to hate me. I refuse.”

Merlin frowns as Ava rolls her eyes fondly, a victorious smirk on her face:

“If you would let me finish. They don’t hate you now, despite learning what they have just learnt, and you have yet to tell them of all you’ve done for them. Their love for you will only grow, Brother.”

Merlin tilts his head and raises an eyebrow. The gang take in a collective gasp at the realisation that she knows. And has likely known the whole time.

“What are you talking about?”

Ava’s smirk just grows, and she looks to the bushes the gang is hiding in, seeming to make direct eye-contact with a panicking Arthur as she speaks, he voice echoing unnaturally through the clearing:

“You can come out now.”

At her words, Merlin’s head whips around to stare at where she was looking. He opens his mind, allows his magic to stretch around him, and his skull is immediately full to burst with echoes of Mordred’s earlier, and ongoing, warnings, as well as the overwhelming presence of The (former) Darkness, The Once and Future King, and the others. He takes a stumbled step back, hand covering his mouth and tears spilling from his eyes as he becomes more and more convinced of... well... his time being tainted.

The gang stand and shuffle out of the bushes slowly, eyes trained on the floor and hands clasped in front of them tightly. It’s Merlin’s quiet, cracking “No...” that has them look up, paling at the absolute heartbreak on his face.

Lancelot and Gwaine give him weak, though genuine smiles, holding their hands out placatingly, but they halt their movements forward when Merlin just copies them pace for pace, moving away from them.

No one notices Ava rolling her eyes, not until she steps behind Merlin and puts a halting hand on his shoulder, stopping him from moving further away.

Merlin whips his head around, and another loud clap of thunder sounds out, much closer than the other one, quickly followed by a sudden downpour of frigid rain. The gang look to the sky in confusion, and Mordred desperately tries to reach Merlin through the mental link, offering comfort and reassurance; Merlin doesn’t seem to notice, the rain falling harder and harder as he almost fall to his knees, speaking in a desperate voice to his sister:

“Why... why would you... you know what this means. Why... why would you do this?! Ava?”

She rolls her eyes again, seeming to glow effervescently under the rivers of rainwater running down her face and over her clothes. She forces Merlin to turn and look at the gang, holding her hands on his shoulders to stop him from backing away (or collapsing in his grief) :

“Look at them, Em. Do they look angry to you? You should have some faith in the humans you claim to love so much. Look at them.”

Everyone in the gang gives Merlin varying levels of strained smiles; though Merlin, in his panic, is unable to tell that the strain is from concern and guilt, thinking that it was instead from hatred. He falls to his knees, his eyes shut tight enough to give him a headache and his hands clamped over his mouth in an effort to hold the sobs in.

Gwen and Morgana are the first to rush forwards, not paying the slightest bit of attention to Merlin’s... sister or the knights as they collapse to the floor in front of their friend, not sure whether to keep their distance or try to comfort the distraught man... God.

It’s his next choked sob that urges them to move once again, and the girls pull Merlin into a hug, tears of their own gathering at his agony. He freezes at first, then tries to pull away as lightening streaks across the sky, the violent bursts in sync with his choked breaths. When Gwen strokes a soft hand through his knotted hair, and Morgana pulls him further into her lap, muttering “We’re not leaving you, Merls, not ever, we love you.”, he relaxes slightly.

The thunder and lightening cease, but the rain still pours as Arthur stares over the pile of crying bodies to the woman, whose eyes seem to be growing brighter and brighter in the deluge. She stares right back at him, and The King jumps slightly when her voice echoes through her head, despite her still face:

“My brother has lost enough, please do not shatter his heart.”

Arthur nods once, before following Lancelot’s lead to the others, the rest of the knights not far behind them as Ava disappears. Whether she walked away without noticing or simply faded into the rain, no one knows, but no one really cares either. Soon enough, everyone is gathered around Merlin, stroking his back softly and whispering comforting promises over the sound of the rain. When Leon is the only one to notice Mordred’s eyes flash golden as he summons a shield above them, he simply shrugs his shoulders and refocuses his attention on muttering reassurances in Merlin’s head.

His breathing slows after a while, as does the rain, though everyone panics slightly when they see Morgana frown as she strokes the hair away from his face, revealing flushed cheeks and closed eyes. Mordred’s eyes flash golden once more as he presses a hand to his forehead, though no one lets the shock distract them for too long, latching on to his relieved tone:

“He’s just asleep, that would’ve taken a lot out of him. We should get him back to Gaius.”

The knights all stand, stretching and cracking joints to try and rid themselves of the cold stiffness that had settled in their soaked bones. Morgana stays on the floor, clutching at Merlin in her lap desperately, like he could slip away at any moment. When Arthur leans down to pick him up, she shoots him a glare, her own eyes glowing as the wind picks up once more, whipping through the clearing in an obvious warning. Arthur takes in a gasp, but shakes the surprise from his mind as he settles a soft hand on his sister’s shoulder:

“I... look, we’ll talk about this later, and I promise you’re going to be safe,-”

He glances up to an equally defensive looking Mordred:

“-all three of you, but Mordred’s right, we need to get him home and warmed up.”

Morgana hesitates for only a second, but the concern (and love) in her brother’s eyes sway her, and she nods, ever-so-carefully pulling her arms from around Merlin and helping Arthur get the younger (or... much much older) man situated in his arms before standing up.

~

The trek back to the castle is a fairly short one now they don’t have to worry about being quiet, and the rain has almost completely stopped by the time they make it to the citadel gates. It’s late, so the only people they come across are the occasional guard. But The King resolutely ignoring them as he carries his unconscious manservant through the corridors, his closest friends and advisors around him either openly crying or blinking away tears... well... it’s something that very much screams “DO NOT DISTURB US DO NOT SPEAK OF THIS IMMEDIATELY FORGET EVERYTHING YOU HAVE JUST SEEN”.

Elyan runs ahead to wake Gaius and warn him, so by the time everyone gets to the Physician’s chambers the fire is roaring, a patient pallet has been moved in front of the hearth, and Gaius himself is bustling around, preparing various concoctions and tinctures and blankets.

Merlin’s still shivering form is laid on the pallet, and Morgana shamelessly uses her magic to pull the heat closer and dry out his clothes. Mordred sits protectively close to the servant, one hand subconsciously close to his sword, the other resting on Merlin’s shoulder. Gwen settles between him an Morgana, and the knights figure that with her complete non-reaction to the magic... she probably already knew, she was smart like that. Gaius finally makes his way to Merlin’s side, tipping a gross smelling potion down his throat and running a hand through his hair, frowning worriedly down at his ward. 

Not a single word had been said since they entered through the castle gates, and Arthur is the first to break the silence, sitting on Merlin’s other side, opposite Morgana, and settling an almost accusing expression on his sister:

“You knew, didn’t you?”

She looks up at him, somehow appearing powerful and intimidating despite being soaked through and shivering:

“I knew he was... powerful, I didn’t know he was a God.”

Gaius’ head whips around quickly, and Arthur is surprised at the questioning horror on his face:

“A God?? There must be some mistake, Merlin is powerful yes but he’s not-”

Mordred’s quiet voice interrupts him, though he doesn’t look away from the unconscious man as his fingers twitch over so slightly closer to the hilt of his sword:

“I knew. Though if I’d known he felt so... if I’d known how he felt, I would have spoken to him about it sooner, I apologise.”

Everyone looks at the group’s youngest member in shock, almost speechless, but Gwaine stutters slightly before clearing his throat and trying again:

“So... that was real, Merlin is a fucking God.”

Mordred nods absent-mindedly, eyes flashing golden as he presses his hand to Merlin’s forehead once again, frowning. Arthur’s brow creases in concern and he leans closer to Merlin:

“What is it? Is he ok??”

Before Mordred can reply, Leon speaks up, his voice tired, but strong:

“If he’s some... powerful God, then why is he hurt in the first place? Shouldn’t he be able to resist any sort of injury or sickness??”

Mordred shakes his head, finally looking away from Merlin to gaze at the group surrounding him. He looks doubtful at first, but when he sees the genuine concern on everyone’s faces, especially from Gaius and Arthur, he sighs and speaks softly:

“It’s difficult to describe. Merlin could access the full range of his power and do anything, if he wanted, but it’s draining and complicated when stuck in a human body. He himself is a God, yes, but this form is still vulnerable and mortal; he can get injured, and sick, he can die, or at least the body can. Merlin tends to repair this body when that happens, instead of moving on. He... likes it here.”

Everyone nods, understanding at least a little, though Gaius and Lancelot look the most shell-shocked. The room goes silent once again, and Percival, sat on the floor against the end of Merlin’s pallet with Elyan and Gwaine, is the first to speak, his voice shaking and sorrowful:

“He really thinks so low of himself. He’s a God... and he was terrified of the thought of us hating him, as if such a thing were even possible.”

Gwaine curses under his breath and Leon restarts his slow pacing around the room before he stops suddenly, turning to face the others with a look of anger on his face:

“Well of course he thinks it’s bloody possible. He’s right, we treat him like a fucking servant even though he’s one of our dearest friends, and half of us talk about the evils of sorcery on a near constant basis. He’s the God of Magic, of course he’d think we would hate him.”

Everyone is taken aback at Leon’s rage, though no one can deny that what he’s said is true. Leon is... quietly protective of everyone in the group, and it’s a time like this that reminds all of them that he had known Merlin just as long as Arthur had, and definitely held a certain brotherly affection for the younger (uh... yeah, whatever) man.

The older knight sags slightly, seemingly realising how exhausted he is, and pulls a chair up next to Arthur before collapsing in it, head in his hands. Arthur pats him on the back a few times before looking back to Merlin’s now thankfully not-shivering form, taking in a deep breath and nodding his head decisively:

“Well, we’ll just have to show him that it isn’t possible. I... we need to show him that he’s... important to us. Loved.”

Morgana just raises her eyebrow at The King, but doesn’t say anything as Gaius mutters a tearful “My poor boy.” under his breath. Elyan stands from his place on the floor, moving to perch on a bench behind his sister and setting a comforting hand on her shoulder as he softly speaks:

“He needs to know that we want him to stay here, with us.”

Percival shakes his head slightly, looking conflicted:

“Wouldn’t that be... cruel? That woman... Ava, was right. We’ll all grow old and die and he’s a God, he’ll live forever and he’ll grieve. Isn’t asking him to stay selfish?”

No one has an answer, and the room grows silent, everyone stewing in their own tense thoughts, trying to weigh the pros and cons, trying to measure exactly how selfish they were willing to be when it came to Merlin.

~

The sun rising over the horizon and peaking through the uncovered windows is what wakes everyone (bar Merlin) from their fitful sleeps. All of them had been plagued with odd dreams and nightmares through the night, so despite their exhaustion, they were grateful to be awake.

No one said anything though, waking one by one and pacing briefly around the room in an attempt to cure themselves of the aches gained from falling asleep in such awkward positions.

It’s still incredibly early in the morning, so thankfully none of them are needed for at least two more candle marks, but it’s Lancelot who breaks the silence first, clearing his throat and looking down at his best friend:

“It wouldn’t be selfish.”

Arthur looks up to him, noting the bags under everyone’s eyes and the tear tracks no one had bothered to wipe away:

“What are you talking about?”

The knight runs a hand through his hair, sniffling slightly and taking a deep breath before he stares around the room, making sure everyone was awake and paying attention as he spoke:

“For us to tell him we want him to stay, it wouldn’t be selfish. You heard him, he loves it here, he’s desperate to stay, he loves us. He still has at least thirty years worth of memories to make with us, and yeah, maybe that’s not a lot in the grand scheme of the immortal life of a God, but it’s more than the ten he’s already got. We can’t take that away from him. He... he wants to be here. Telling him to leave just to alleviate our own guilt... that would be selfish.”

Everyone looks a little doubtful, bar Mordred, and it’s him that Arthur turns to:

“Mordred? You knew... what he is, which we are still definitely going to have a conversation about by the way, what do you think?”

Mordred sighs, biting his lip for a moment before finally ripping his gaze from Merlin’s still unconscious, but now healthier looking body:

“He is more than any of us will ever be able to comprehend. You still see him as just Merlin, he is, but he’s also much more; he is Emrys, the saviour, the God, the Guiding Light. He is magic itself, woven into the fabric of the universe. He inhabits every space, and no space at the same time, he exists in every grain of sand, every drop of ocean, every speck of sky. To... to assume that he is not capable of deciding what he wants is an act of unforgivable hubris. If he stays, who are you to demand he leave and name yourselves selfish, when he has not deemed it so?”

Arthur pales slightly at Mordred’s words, as does everyone else. Gwaine seems to be taking it in his stride, and Lancelot seems less surprised than Arthur thinks he should (definitely something to question, but not right now), but before anyone can say anything, Merlin twitches, a low groan escaping his throat as his brows crease.

Everyone moves quickly, gathering around his bedside in a huddle. Morgana, Mordred, and Gwen are grateful to still be sat in their seats, and if they weren’t so busy worriedly leaning over Merlin they would be rolling their eyes at the way the others were pushing and shoving to be at the front. Gaius elbows his way to be stood by Merlin’s head, a cold compress in one hand and a grey looking potion in the other.

Morgana strokes a hand through Merlin’s hair and the frown on his face eases; he blinks his eyes open, swallowing before grimacing at the taste in his mouth and groaning again. Gwen leans over his head, smiling as she settles a hand on his warm cheek:

“Morning sleepyhead. How are you feeling?”

Merlin just groans again, rubbing his shaking hands harshly into his eyes as he says, his voice dry and painful-sounding:

“Ugh. Like Arthur’s aim got miraculously better.”

Arthur rolls his eyes and flushes slightly, but before he can defend himself Merlin bolts upright, taking in a deep, ragged breath, eyes wide. Mordred focuses a concentrated expression on the side of Merlin’s head, but Arthur ignores it as he reaches forward, settling a hand on the dark-haired man’s shoulder and muttering his name:

“Merlin?”

Merlin’s breathing only gets deeper as he whips his head around to stare at Arthur. The blonde tries to smile comfortingly at him, but Merlin barely seems to notice as he scrambles back on the bed, only stopping when he comes into contact with Leon behind him.

Mordred’s face morphs into a concerned frown at Merlin’s terror, and now his tears, so instead of waiting for the man to calm down enough to let them explain, he rushes forward, grabbing the back of Merlin’s head and forcing their foreheads together before he can pull away. He shuts his eyes tightly, muttering some sort of incantation under his breath. Merlin gasps loudly and Mordred groans, holding their heads together for a few moments before collapsing back into his seat, clamping his hands over his eyes as if trying to press a headache away. Merlin slumps back against the warm body behind him, and Leon just about manages to catch him in strong arms before he falls to the floor.

This had all happened in the space of a few moments, and when the two of them still, the others unfreeze. Arthur turns on Mordred:

“What did you do?? What was that?!”

Mordred groans again, looking up blearily, first at Merlin, who seems to be in a similar state to him, leant against Leon, and then to Arthur:

“He wasn’t calming down, so I shared my memories. From when we met at the edge of the forest yesterday, to just before he woke up. It’ll take him a little longer than me to sort through them.”

Arthur nods and Morgana looks impressed, and everyone looks to Merlin again, waiting for him to pull the hands from his eyes and talk to them, look at them, anything.

He finally seems to relax his muscles and Leon rubs his hands up and down his arms softly; despite the fact that he’d been warmed by the fire, the knight was still oddly worried about Merlin being too cold. He lets out a deep breath, lowering his shaking hands as he slowly raises his teary gaze, staring at Arthur:

“You... you want me to stay?”

Arthur ignores the tears dripping down his cheeks as nods desperately, forcing a soft smile on his face as he sniffles:

“Yes. Please. We don’t want you to go, we don’t hate you.”

Merlin launches himself at Arthur and the only thing stopping The King from falling back from Merlin’s surprising weight is Percival’s hand on his back. Arthur wraps his arms tightly around Merlin’s middles, turning his head to press a kiss to the other man’s temple as he tries to get his tears under control; he completely ignores the others in favour of muttering into Merlin’s hair:

“It’s alright, Merlin. You stay here, with us, as long as you want. We... I, love you. Stay, please.”

Merlin just sobs harder, gripping the back of Arthur’s tunic as he kneels on the bed, his response stuttering and barely understandable:

“But- but I’m-”

Arthur just hushes him, stroking a hand through his hair and giving everyone else in the room pointed looks. They all crowd around Merlin again, placing comforting hands on his back and shoulders and arms and hands. Mordred whispers his adoration in Merlin’s head, and Morgana presses a kiss to the nape of his neck, all in the hopes of convincing him that the memories he had were true.

His breathing finally calms, and Arthur shuffles to the side so he can sit down next to him, not daring to remove the arms from around his neck or push him away. Merlin pulls away himself when Arthur settles, but doesn’t move far, and there’s no space between them as he hastily wipes the tears from his face, staring at him lap, cheeks flushed. Arthur takes his hand slowly in his, but Merlin still doesn’t look up, so Morgana kneels in front of him, placing her hand on his knee softly and saying with a teasing smirk on her face:

“You know, if I’d known that my teacher was The God of Magic, I might’ve complained less at the studying you make me do.”

Merlin finally looks up at her, a weak smile on his face, and Morgana winks at him. It’s Gwaine who tries next, settling on Merlin’s other side and sighing loudly:

“Forget the God thing do you know how many pranks we could’ve pulled if you’d told me you had magic?? Can’t believe you’d take that opportunity from me, all of you.”

He gives Mordred and Morgana jokingly offended glares and they roll their eyes, though their attention is quickly drawn back to Merlin, whose hands are clenching tightly in his lap. The room goes dark all of a sudden, and a glance to the window would tell them that the clear morning was suddenly overcast, thunder rumbling in the distance as rain slammed against the glass. Arthur squeezes Merlin’s hand and quickly, though gently, shoves Morgana out of the way, kneeling in front of Merlin and lifting his chin with his free hand:

“It’s fine, Merlin. We’ve all got a ton of questions but everything’s going to be alright, I swear. In fact, I’m glad we found out, it was cruel of us to make you live in a kingdom where you aren’t accepted, but that changes now, I promise.”

Merlin stands suddenly and walks between them, taking a deep breath before turning suddenly a scowl on his face:

“It wasn’t her choice to make, it was mine, and she took it from me.-”

With every harsh the thunder grew closer and the glass in the window frame shook more violently:

“-I was going to tell you after you changed your mind about magic because it had to come from the heart. You can’t change the Kingdom just for my sake! I wanted to do it properly and she took that from me because she was bored!”

Everyone rushes to say something in an effort to calm him down, both for the safety of the windows and his happiness, but Arthur’s blunt-

“Why?”

-stops them in their tracks. Merlin looks to him sharply, though Arthur is grateful for the thunder quietening down as he replies:

“What do you mean why? Why what?”

Arthur huffs out a gentle laugh, shaking his head in disbelief:

“Why can’t I change the Kingdom for you? You’re important, you’ve touched so many lives in so many wonderous ways; that in itself tells me that magic isn’t evil, so why can’t I change the Kingdom for you?”

The thunder stops and the rain slows to a gentle patter as Merlin tilts his head, his scowl of anger morphing into a sad, confused frown as he responds in a small voice:

“But... I’m just a servant. You’re not doing it out of fear, so I’m still just... nobody important.”

Arthur just laughs again, walking towards Merlin and settling soft hands on his shoulders, grateful to feel the others close to his back:

“You have never once been just a servant, Merlin. Something tells me you’ve been saving my life, and this Kingdom, since the day we met, so even if it had no effect on anyone else whatsoever, I would still change the law. Because you are a good man, and you are important, and you deserve it. Compared to you, it is us, who are just human.-”

Merlin frowns again and Arthur rolls his eyes to stop him arguing:

“-Just... give me another hug, and accept it. You idiot.”

He can feel someone (probably Morgana) thump him on the back, but he doesn’t turn around, eagerly returning Merlin’s hug when the brunette wraps his arms around Arthur’s middle tightly. The King presses closer, uncaring of what his audience thinks of him for the first time in his life (probably because he has a feeling that they’ve known of his... affections, longer than even he has) and  mutters his question into Merlin’s ear:

“We... I love you, Merlin, more than anything. Will you stay with me?”

The King is vaguely aware of his First Knight whispering “I told you so, idiot.” behind him, but all he cares about is the sensation of the God, more ancient and powerful than anything he could ever comprehend, nodding into is neck.

THE END!!

I really enjoyed writing this, and I hope y’all like it!!

Link to the Dark!Merlin version (I warn you, it’s hella angsty) is at the top!! :)

[jaskierswolf]

No Regrets

A noble!Jaskier A/B/O arranged marriage fic for @greyduckgreygoose as part of a server exchange. - AO3

Ship: Jaskier x Aiden

Rating: E

Length: 2.8k

CW: Smut, Alpha Aiden/Omega Jask, scent kink, fingering, oral sex, penetrative sex, knotting, mating bites

_

If there was one thing in life that Jaskier regretted, it was that he was a noble. Without the ties of his blood, being an omega wouldn’t be so bad. He could have chosen his own alpha, been happily mated if he wished, or stayed free and wild as he roamed the Continent to his heart’s desire. As a child he’d declared that he would be a travelling bard or a merchent, renouncing all claim to the stupid title that now bound his dear sister to the estate. He’d dreamed of his life as a barker to some witcher or other adventurer, strumming tunes on his lute and spreading his music all across the Continent.

A pipe dream.

Jaskier didn’t even regret being an omega. It was actually quite thrilling, the sex was easier with the slick he produced and the desperation his heats brought was really quite incomparable. There was nothing quite like getting fucked within an inch of his life and knotted by some strapping alpha, lost in orgasm after orgasm until he quite literally passed out.

He knew the real thief of his freedom was his blood, his nobility, his dear old parents caught in their archaic ways. Only, now he was to be married to some mysterious alpha that had saved his father’s life a few weeks ago and Jaskier was kicking up a fuss, purposely not looking his best for the wedding. His neck was littered with hickies from a rather lovely beta he’d fucked the night before, but when the alpha, his alpha, walked into the room, Jaskier regretted every decision he’d made that morning.

The bastard was handsome, unbelievably so, and he was wild. Jaskier had been expecting some stuck up noble alpha that only cared about the pups Jaskier could provide, but, oh, ho, ho, gods, this man was a work of art! Long dark hair was pulled back into a messy half updo, long waves falling down past his shoulders. He had tanned skin, covered in scars, from what Jaskier could see, a particularly nasty one striking along his left eye and cutting into his cheek, but gods, those eyes… startling gold like the sweetest honey. Most interesting were his clothes, pretty dark blue garments that Jaskier could have sworn were armoured, and a hood resting on his shoulders. He seemed to be unarmed but something in Jaskier’s gut told him that the man was still dangerous, and that thought had him pressing his thighs together as he felt another rush of slick escape him.

The alpha’s nostrils flared and those gorgeous molten eyes met his from across the room. Jaskier felt as though he had been hit by lightning as he basked in the heat of his alpha’s stare. From beside him, Jaskier heard his mother gasp, the bitter scent of her anger clouding the air, but it was far too late for mother dearest to back out now.

Jaskier was going to marry a witcher!

Maybe his plans of travelling the Continent hadn’t been so far fetched after all. Destiny had truly blessed him on this day, he would be free from the society he hated so much, travelling by this fine specimen’s side until death.

Oh, ho, ho!

He was thrilled.

The alpha didn’t seem too displeased either as he winked at Jaskier from across the room, his tongue flicking out to lick his lips. The man bowed deeply to Jaskier’s parents but there was something in his manner that made Jaskier laugh. There was nothing sincere in his greeting, and the Viscount of Lettenhove knew this, that much was clear from the sneer on his face, the nasty curl of his lips.

And oh didn’t that make Jaskier’s victory all the sweeter. He wondered what the alpha had done or said to convince his old man to give up his only son, and a precious omega to boot. Jaskier supposed a life debt was hard to argue against.

The witcher seemed like a bit of a cad, all flirty winks and mockery of nobility that made Jaskier swoon, his knees buckling a little underneath him under the heavy musk of the alpha’s scent. Slick soaked through his underclothes and he wriggled uncomfortably, his hands itching to slip beneath his breeches and tease at his cock, his hole, anything that could relieve him of the aching arousal in his gut. The alpha let out a wave of pheromones, calming Jaskier’s mind and subduing him. Even his poor mother seemed to relax beside him, but the strong scent of alpha, had his father growling low in his chest. The deluded fool, as if he could take on a witcher, although he probably knew he couldn’t and that was the only reason Jaskier was allowed to marry this god of a man.

“You came,” Lord Alfred of Lettenhove hissed through gritted teeth.

To Jaskier’s surprise, the alpha just laughed, one hand resting on his hips. “I told you I would. I don’t lie, human.”

“Not my son, Alfred, please. You can’t give my son to a witcher!” Jaskier’s mother begged, falling to her knees in front of her husband. “Anyone but a witcher, I’ll even agree to that lass from Nilfgaard, please, alpha.”

It was a pitiful display, one Jaskier hadn’t expected from his mother, but one that truly showed her desperation. Jaskier almost felt sorry for her…

Almost.

“What’s done is done, mother, now please, introduce me to my new husband!” Jaskier trilled happily, subconsciously baring his neck to the stranger that he was about to bind himself to, eyeing up the cat head on the silver chain around the witcher’s neck.

He’d heard rumours about those witchers; feral, insane… assassins.

Gods, Jaskier was weak.

He always had liked an alpha that could tear him in two, but it was rarer than it should have been. Jaskier was not a timid and fragile omega, in fact most people that met him confused him for a beta at first. He had a less sweet and floral scent than most omegas, and his chest was covered in thick dark hair that was almost unheard of even in male omegas, but he liked to feel small and dainty once in a while.

“Julian, I presume,” the witcher greeted, reaching out his hand which Jaskier gladly took, his heart fluttering as his alpha kissed his fingers with a surprising amount of grace. Heat prickled over his skin, as their eyes met, and that thick scent of alpha arousal almost had Jaskier on his knees, ready to worship this man’s cock in front of the entire household.

As it was he was barely able to suppress a moan, as the alpha brought Jaskier’s wrist to his neck, pressing it against the scent gland, making Jaskier whine softly at the gentle waves of pleasure that rolled over him. Fuck, the bastard was going to trigger his heat two weeks early at this rate. He bit his lip as he let his gaze roam over the Alpha’s body, hot and heavy.

“My friends call me Jaskier,” he shot back with a wink.

“And what about your husband?”

Jaskier smirked, “Darling, you can call me whatever you like.”

“Julian, you’re being indecent!” his mother snapped, scandalised in a manner that only nobility could manage.

Jaskier scoffed, “I am talking to my future husband, the man that daddy dearest picked out for me. Although,” Jaskier smirked as he turned to face the witcher, “he has been terribly rude and not even told me his name.”

“Darling, you can call me whatever you like,” the alpha winked and Jaskier gasped, stumbling back in mock offence, “but my name is Aiden.”

After that, the wedding went off without a hitch, all the necessary paperwork being completed, as their hands were tied together. It was sealed by a rather enthusiastic kiss as Jaskier jumped into his alpha’s arms, crashing his lips against his new husband’s in a mess of teeth and tongues, finally getting to inhale the alpha’s scent from up close.

His alpha.

His husband.

Jaskier had never anticipated that he would enjoy even thinking those words, but the look of despair on his parents’ faces made everything worth it. He giggled, taking his new husband by the hand and leading him to his bedchambers, thrilled by the protests from his parents who were trying to stop him from consummating the marriage, but there was no fucking way that Jaskier was going to turn down such a tempting cornucopia of delights.

“Eager, pretty little omega, aren’t you?” Aiden growled, a purr rumbling in his chest as he grazed his teeth over the scent gland on Jaskier’s neck, sending a rush of pleasure through him, slick leaking down his thighs.

“Not what you were expecting, witcher?” Jaskier teased, pulling at the ties on Aiden’s trousers.

“Not some stuck up little prick,” Aiden hummed, groping Jaskier’s arse as he pushed down Jaskier’s breeches, leaving him in just a shirt. One hand moved to run through Jaskier’s chest hair, fingers pinching at his nipples, eliciting a moan from his lips that was better suited to a whore house. “Not exactly the fragile flower you claim to be either, omega.”

“Not as easy to break, alpha,” Jaskier hummed as Aiden’s lips nipped along his neck, teeth pulling at his ear.

His scent, fuck, his scent was almost overpowering, strong, rich, sending all of Jaskier’s reason out of the window to be replaced with the desire to be fucked, knotted, mated. A now familiar tug of pre-heat clouded his mind, his cock aching, his hole empty and wanting. With a soft sigh, he ran his fingers through his own slick before pushing them inside, not nearly enough, but it took the edge off as he rocked against his own hand, pressing his body flush against his alpha’s.

He smirked as he mouthed over Aiden’s scent gland, his husband shivering under his touch. He brought his slick covered hand up to Aiden’s lips and the alpha sucked at the digits with a needy moan, his grip on Jaskier’s waist almost bruising. “Now are you going to talk all day, or are you going to fuck me? It’s been far too long since I’ve had the pleasure of an alpha’s knot.”

Jaskier’s words made something snap in Aiden, a fearsome snarl tearing from the alpha’s throat, and Jaskier was thrown onto the bed, barely able to catch his breath before Aiden’s hands were on him, calloused fingers running through the mess of slick on his thighs before pressing inside his leaking hole. Aiden’s fingers were thicker than Jaskier’s, caressing, searching, stroking until he hit that sweet spot inside of Jaskier, making him keen.

“Mine,” Aiden growled.

Jaskier moaned, bucking up off the mattress, pushing back on Aiden’s hand. “Yours, alpha, my alpha.”

Any other words Jaskier might have said were muffled by a bruising kiss, Aiden’s tongue licking into his mouth fervently. Oh and it was blissful, the alpha’s fingers fucking him so beautifully, until he was a panting mess on the bed, sweat and slick sticking to his skin. The fog of heat ruined him, turning him into nothing more than a whore, begging to be filled, knotted, claimed, and Jaskier barely recognised his own voice, hoarse, wrecked, as he cursed, and pleaded with his alpha. His fingers scraped down Aiden’s back as he thrust against his alpha’s hand, trying to get more, more, more, but Aiden had the patience rivaling the priestesses of Melitele.

Aiden pulled his fingers out, leaving Jaskier feeling so achingly empty, pitiful cries resounding in the bedchamber, howling as he was denied everything he needed.

“Fucking bastard!” he slurred, as his building pleasure eased, leaving him wanting.

“Patience, omega,” Aiden hummed, kissing the corner of Jaskier’s mouth before trailing his lips down Jaskier’s chest, sucking and nibbling at each of his nipples as he passed them, chuckling at the needy sounds Jaskier was making. He pressed soft kisses to Jaskier’s belly, nuzzling at the curve of his stomach almost reverently until Jaskier huffed, threading his fingers through his alpha’s hair and pushing his head down further. Finally, Jaskier was rewarded with his alpha’s lips around his cock, hot and wet and oh so good.

Jaskier didn’t know many alpha’s who would suck their omega’s cock, but this gorgeous stranger, seemed more than content to get lost in Jaskier’s pleasure, purring around Jaskier’s cock as if he were the most beautiful thing in the world. His fingers gripped at Jaskier’s thighs, keeping them spread as his tongue flicked over the head, lapping up the pre-cum that was leaking from the tip.

But omegas were meant to be filled, and as much as he was enjoying the heat of Aiden’s mouth around him, it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t cum like this, not whilst he was feeling so fucking empty, and gods, he needed to cum, he needed it so much he could barely think of anything else. He whined, writhing underneath Aiden’s ministrations desperate for something else, something more.

“Alpha, I need- I need,” he whimpered, his words cut off by another moan as Aiden’s tongue delved inside him, the alpha moaning into him as he tasted sweet omega slick.

The bastard had the audacity to laugh, nuzzling against Jaskier’s thigh as his lips pressed against the soft tender skin. “What do you need, little omega?” he asked before biting at the skin beneath his lips. There was a sharp pain, the alpha’s fangs not quite breaking skin but enough to hurt in the best possible way.

“F-fuck you!” Jaskier hissed, his cheeks heating up but gods, he would not let his alpha gain the upper hand.

Faster than lightning, Aiden was gone from between Jaskier’s leg, straddling Jaskier’s hips and pinning him to the bed. Fingers threaded through Jaskier’s hair and his head was yanked backwards. “Try again, buttercup.”

“Fuck me, knot me, Aiden, alpha.”

“Better,” Aiden growled, one hand moving to pin Jaskier’s wrists onto the mattress and in one swift movement had pushed inside Jaskier.

The stretch felt so good, pleasure and lustful fire burning through him, as he arched off the bed, keening as their scents mixed around him, soothing his omega, his need to get as close to his alpha as possible. Every thrust had Aiden’s cock buried deep inside him, filling him up until he could see a slight bulge on his stomach, the alpha hitting Jaskier’s sweet spot with every snap of his hips, until Jaskier was crying, tears streaming down his face as he begged for release. His alpha’s hand wrapped around his cock, tiny in comparison, pulling his orgasm from him with a start, sparks flying as he gasped, panting into Aiden’s shoulder, biting down gently as his alpha fucked him through the waves of pleasure, but it still wasn’t enough. He ground back against Aiden’s cock, sounding desperately needy, pathetic. In his heat hazed mind, he wondered how many times he could cum on his alpha’s cock. He wanted that, wanted to please his husband, his alpha, his Aiden. Jaskier would be the prettiest omega, filled with his alpha’s cum. No one would mistake Jaskier as belonging to anyone else. He was Aiden’s now, and there was nothing anyone in the world could do about it.

“Alpha,” he whined, “please. Your knot, I need it, please, fuck… gods, alpha!”

Aiden purred, a deep rumbling in his chest, pressing his lips against Jaskier’s scent gland and nuzzling into his neck until Jaskier melted against his chest, fingers digging into his Alpha’s back. Despite his orgasm, he felt more aroused than he had ever been before, a mantra of alpha, fuck, please, falling from his lips in a dizzying blur, until finally, he felt the press of Aiden’s knot teasing at his rim.

“Gods, yes,” Jaskier moaned. “Knot me, fuck, please, Alpha.”

“My omega.”

“Yours,” Jaskier agreed, “my alpha.”

Aiden growled, his fangs latching onto Jaskier’s neck, turning Jaskier’s world upside down as the mating bond snapped into place in a rush of pheromones and emotions, triggering Jaskier’s orgasm from out of the blue. One moment he’d been blissfully sated on his alpha’s cock, the next pleasure tore through him like lightning, cum spilling over his stomach for a second time as Aiden pumped him full, breeding him, the knot popping into place and tying them together.

“Oh- oh fuck,” Jaskier groaned, falling back against the mattress and Aiden collapsed on top of him, still rolling his hips in shallow thrusts to push the knot deeper inside. “Bloody hell, that was good.”

Aiden snorted, not bothering to lift his head from Jaskier’s chest. “Good?”

“Perfect,” Jaskier sighed, running his hands through Aiden’s hair until the witcher was purring happily, nuzzling against him, murmuring soft praise into Jaskier’s skin.

Perhaps being a noble wasn’t so bad, not when your parents married you off to a gorgeous and charming witcher.

_

Taglist: @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde, @comfyswitcherblanketfort, @fontegagrilledcheese, @dani-dandelino, @dapandapod @unyielding-as-the-sea @officerjennie @feraljaskier @geralt-of-riviass @kueble @gilberik @llamasdumpsterfire

[suituuup]

that's the kind of love i've been dreaming of

Has Beca mentioned that she hates his guts? Everything is just too… annoyingly nice. His charming smile, his messy but not too messy hair, his sense of humor, and well, his taste in women, as he’s dating the girl Beca happens to be in love with.

Word count: 2005

Rating: T

Entry for Bechloe week, day one: “Because I'm in love with you, dumbass.”

Beta by the lovely @snowonebutyou and thanks to @green-eyed-weirdo for bouncing ideas with me <3

READ ON AO3

*

The muffled giggle greeting Beca when she steps through the door makes her groan. The deep voice that follows confirms that Chloe is indeed not alone, and Beca briefly considers turning around and… going for a walk or something.

But her feet are about to fall off, she feels gross from her overcrowded subway ride home where she’s pretty sure a dude sniffed her hair, and she is really fucking tired.

She’s just flopped down face first on the pull-out couch when the door to Chloe’s bedroom opens, and two sets of feet grow closer.

“You alright, Becs?”

Beca grunts something inaudible in acknowledgment before she rolls on her back. “M’fine.”

“Hey Beca,” Chicago greets her with a soft smile, and Beca somehow manages to leash in her sneer.

“Hey,” she mumbles, the best she can muster when it comes to Chloe’s boyfriend.

Has she mentioned that she hates his guts? Everything is just too… annoyingly nice. His charming smile, his messy but not too messy hair, his sense of humor, and well, his taste in women, as he’s dating the girl Beca happens to be in love with.

Yep. It’s only been four years and a half; not a big deal.

She was this close to admitting her feelings to Chloe, still reeling with adrenaline after her solo performance, when Chloe ran to Army Boy instead. Beca doesn’t think she knew what a broken heart felt like until that very moment.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Chicago asks, setting his hands on Chloe’s hips.

“Yeah,” Chloe agrees and leans up to kiss his lips. Beca rolls her eyes, grabbing her phone from her back pocket as a distraction from the display of gag-worthy affection.

The door finally clicks shut behind Chicago, and Beca hears Chloe sigh. That kind of content sigh that has jealousy flare up within her because Chloe should be sighing like that because of her.

“I thought he was leaving tomorrow morning?” Beca asks as she scrolls through her Instagram, not really registering the photos zooming past her eyes.

“Not anymore,” Chloe says, biting on her bottom lip like she’s trying to prevent a smile from breaking through. “He’s um, going to be stationed in Brooklyn. His request just got granted.”

A huge lump forms in Beca’s throat as she registers the news and an uneasy feeling seized her stomach. “That’s--” she swallows with difficulty, swiping her tongue over her dry lips. “That’s great, Chlo.”

She soon exits Instagram, opening her safari to look for apartment listings.

*

Finding an apartment in New York City within her price range, as it turns out, is pretty fucking difficult.

You would think Beca was aware of that given the fact that there used to be one more person living in her current studio, with a simple curtain acting as bathroom walls.

(she definitely has PTSD from that night Amy had food poisoning from Taco Bell.)

When Amy moved out, Chloe took her room, because Beca is the night owl of the two, usually coming home late from work or cooking dinner after Chloe has gone to bed.

It’s pushing eleven by the time she makes it back that night, and she prays that Chloe is already in bed. The past couple of weeks following the news have been… weird, to say the least. Beca has been avoiding Chloe, coming up with excuses whenever Chloe asks her if she wants to hang out.

She makes herself a quick dinner (okay, makes might be a bit of an overstatement: she just pours some hot water over instant noodles. Don’t come at her.) and messes around on her laptop for a while, turning the lights off just after one am.

A moan reaching her ears just as she feels herself dozing off has her eyes fly open. A moan that very much belongs to Chloe, and Beca just wants to disappear off the face of the earth. Quiet laughter follows, and when the bed starts squeaking, leaving no doubt regarding what they’re doing in there, Beca ponders smothering herself with her own pillow.

She grabs her headphones instead, hastily placing them over her ears before she hears something that will most likely scar her forever. It somewhat cancels out the sounds, enough for Beca to fall asleep. She flees the apartment before either of them is awake, drowning her sorrows in a double espresso from the corner coffee shop.

Over the next few days, she excels in avoiding Chloe. She knows Chloe’s schedule well enough to come back when she’s either asleep or not there. Or at least she thought so.

“Hey.”

Beca freezes as she closes the door, looking over her shoulder to find Chloe popping her head out of the fridge.

Beca clears her throat, rubbing her nose with her knuckle as she stares down at the scuff of her shoes. “Hey,” she echoes, setting her keys down on the counter.

“Long time no see,” Chloe says as Beca sits on the edge of her bed to take her boots off.

“Yeah um, I’ve been busy,” Beca mumbles as she undoes her laces.

“Busy avoiding me?”

Beca’s spine snaps straighter at that, and she looks up to meet Chloe’s eyes. “No, just--” her shoulder lifts in a half shrug. “I figured you and Chicago might enjoy some private time together.”

Chloe hums like she doesn’t believe her. “You’d tell me if-- if something was bothering you, right? I feel like I’ve done something wrong.”

Beca swallows. “It’s not you, Chlo. I’m just--” she sighs, feeling her frustration rise as she scrapes her brain for a believable lie. “Work sucks and I feel like I’m getting nowhere, so I’ve been crankier than usual.”

Chloe nods, her lips curving in a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry you’re having a hard time at work,” she says. “We should go out tonight! It’s been forever.”

Beca’s rebuttal lies on the tip of her tongue, out of reflex. She swallows it back, because Chloe is giving her those puppy eyes she’s mastered so well, and Beca knows damn well she can’t resist. Besides, she could definitely use a drink. Or ten.

“Yeah, okay. Sure.”

That’s how they find themselves in an overly too loud, busy club a handful of hours later. Beca is definitely tipsy, and Chloe has just ordered shots, so she knows she’s likely to finish the night with her head in the toilet. But she hasn’t laughed like that in a while, and it feels amazing to be… Beca and Chloe again.

It’s ruined just after Beca downs her first shot, when Army Boy shows up.

“Hi!” Chloe exclaims, springing up from her stool to hug him.

Beca grits her teeth so hard that she’s half-concerned they might break, her eyes throwing daggers at Chicago’s head.

“Hey Beca,” he says, apparently oblivious as he slides on the vacant stool.

Beca simply tilts her chin towards him, along with a tight-lipped smile. As Chicago orders his drink with the waitress, Beca shrugs her jacket on. “I’m gonna go,” she announces over the music, not caring one bit that it’s obvious as to why.

She doesn’t wait for a reply, letting her legs carry her towards the exit as quickly as possible as tears burn her eyes. She bumps into someone in her haste and mumbles a disoriented sorry, sucking in a much needed breath as soon as she steps outside of the club.

The music gradually fades away as she starts down the sidewalk, tugging her jacket tighter around her frame when a chill rolls down her spine. She’s not even sure in which direction she’s going, set on hailing the first cab she finds.

“What the hell is your problem??”

Beca freezes at the familiar voice, swallowing around the forming lump in her throat before she turns around. She barely meets Chloe’s eyes. “I’m just tired, Chlo.”

“Bullshit,” Chloe spits out, a scoff flying past her lips as she shakes her head. Her typically warm eyes are bone-chilling icy. “You left the second he got here.”

Beca sighs heavily, her hands forming fists by her sides in an attempt to tame her growing irritation. “Yeah well, maybe I didn’t feel like being the third wheel. I thought it was just going to be you and I, tonight. But you two have been attached to the hip and all you can talk about is Chicago this, Chicago that.”

“Well I’m sorry if I enjoy his company,” Chloe fires back. “You know, the least you could do is be happy for me.”

“Oh great, the guilty card,” Beca says, eyes rolling skyward. She sucks in a sharp breath. “I can’t be happy for you, Chlo.”

Chloe staggers back as though Beca’s words slapped her in the face. “What?”

“I said, I can’t be happy for you,” Beca repeats, her tone rising along with her frustration.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Chloe asks, a mixture of anger, hurt and confusion surfacing in her features. “Why can’t you be happy for me? That’s what best friends are supposed to do, you know. I mean, are you even still my best friend? Because you haven’t been acting like one those past--”

“Because I’m in love with you, dumbass!” Beca finally blurts, a lot louder than necessary. Her declaration catches the attention of a few bypassers, but Beca is too focused on Chloe to care.

She watches as realization dawns in Chloe’s eyes, and all she can hear is her heart beating madly in her ears. She swallows, glancing down at the crack in the sidewalk. “And I’m the biggest idiot in the world,” she mumbles, roughly wiping at her cheeks when she feels a few tears rolling down her skin. “I’ll be out of the apartment by tomorrow.”

Beca is thankful Chloe doesn’t follow her when she turns around and resumes her journey home. She ends up walking all the way, too embarrassed to break down in a cab like in those stupid rom-coms. She texts Amy when she makes it back to ask if she can crash at her fancy apartment, fishing out her suitcase as soon as her friend agrees. Tears keep leaking out, and Beca wipes them away with her sleeve before she starts shoving her clothes into the suitcase, trying to ignore the way her heart aches.

A key slides into the lock just as she’s done packing. Beca straightens and hastily wipes her cheeks dry, even though she knows her bloodshot eyes will betray her.

“You’re really leaving,” Chloe murmurs, her voice barely audible.

Beca sniffles as she heaves her suitcase off the bed and sets it down. “Yep.”

“Why?”

Beca bites back a humorless laugh. “I don’t know, maybe because I’m not a masochist?” She deadpans. “Seeing you and Chicago together isn’t exactly fun.”

“We broke up.”

Beca’s breathing halts as she registers the words. Her jaw slacks. “What?”

Chloe clears her throat a little, taking a step closer. She’s fiddling with her keys, something she does when she gets shy, nervous or nervous, or excited. “Well, I broke up with him.”

“You did?” Beca croaks out.

Chloe nods, the corners of her lips upturning in a sheepish smile. “Because it’s always been you, dumbass.”

Beca’s lungs flood with oxygen, and her shoulders slump, releasing the tension at once. “Oh.”

“Oh?” Chloe echoes, raising an eyebrow as she takes another step.

Beca closes her eyes briefly, her head tilting as she frowns. “Sorry, I think my brain needs to be re-booted. Could you um, could you say that again?”

Chloe chuckles, finally closing the remaining distance between them. She cups Beca’s cheek and joins their lips in a soft, lingering kiss. Beca’s knees quake as a bunch of butterflies release in her belly, and she can’t quite believe this is really happening.

She licks her tingling lips when Chloe pulls away, feeling a bit dizzy. “Um, I’m not sure I quite got that one, either. Care for an encore?”

The first of many, many ones.

[marvels-writings]

Used To

Natasha Romanoff Masterlist

Sequel: World Turned Upside Down

Requested by @trikruismybitch​ : NatxReader, 12,18,19,22,29 <-said by R, angst questions. Nat cheats on R with R’s Bestfriend (Steve or Bucky) Nat saying 44, 23<- angst questions, 26, 49 angst dialogue. Just really angsty maybe include a little confrontation with Nat, R, Steve/Bucky with the avengers witnessing it? I’m in the mood for heartbreak (:</p>

12: “Can’t you see how fucked up this is?”

18: “When did you stop loving me?”

19: “Don’t you think you’ve done enough?”

22: “Which part of me wasn’t enough?”

23: “How do I make you love me again?”

44: “How do we fix this?”

26: “Will you ever forgive me?”

49: “Will I ever see you again?”

Word Count: 6.2k (heartbreakingly good)

A/N: I loved writing this, as tiring and angsty as it was. I think this is one of the drabbles i’ve cried while apologizing and writing it. It’s really good in my opinion, please do me the honor of reading it.

Moonlight blurred with string lights, bringing you into a gradient of golden and white colors. The balcony was set up, the fairy lights adorning the open-air gazebo above you. The light shone through the glass of red wine you held, the blood-like light splattering on your hands as you played with your food.

Natasha’s voice flowed around the small balcony, bringing to light her most recent mission. Her voice the only sound throughout the entire date. It wasn’t like her to ignore your silence, yet here you were. She had spent hours decorating the roof for your date night, even longer learning to make your favorite food and serving it to you, you were almost guilty for not trying to enjoy it.

How could you when your emotions cloud your judgment? The emotions brought from weeks of observing your girlfriend and your best friend. You thought you knew Natasha would never hurt you, you almost wished she wouldn’t.

But everything seemed to be changing around you. Bucky was spending more time with Natasha than before. You could’ve sworn you saw him leave her room just before you came back from a mission. You could’ve sworn you saw the same lovesick smile she wore around you, around him.

You were just being paranoid, you almost hoped you were being paranoid, to the point where you were ignoring the signs she didn’t cover. Today, you couldn’t ignore it anymore.

Your girlfriend was wearing an off-shoulder sweatshirt, revealing a hickey on the skin there. You had been on a mission for almost a week, today was the first day you came back. The dark mark was covered heavily in foundation, it showed through the heavy attempt to cover it up.

You couldn’t take your eyes off of it for almost half an hour. Every time you tried to look away or even distract yourself for it, for a few seconds. Your eyes always came back to it.

“What’s wrong?” Natasha asked, a coy smile playing on her lips. “You’ve been quiet lately.”

You tilted your head to the side, considering lying to her, even though it might not work. Taking your eyes off her shoulder to look at her eyes, you set down your fork. The green orbs shone in the soft candlelight, almost distracting you from your turmoil. Almost.

“What?” Nat chuckled, leaning back in her seat, squirming slightly. “I know my cooking isn’t the best, but-”

“When did you stop loving me?” You cut her off, licking your lips nervously.

Your heart hammered against your chest, terrified of her response. What if you were wrong? What if nothing was going on?

Some part of you hoped you were wrong and this would just be another fight. A small voice told you that you were right, you tried desperately to ignore it. You couldn’t, especially when you saw Natasha try to cover up the hickey on her shoulder. It only resulted in smudging the makeup, revealing it more as the cloth slid back.

“I didn’t,” Natasha stated, her brows furrowing in confusion as she leaned forwards into her chair. Her eyes bored into yours, almost asking you why you were upset.

“Then what is this?” You asked, leaning forwards, fingers reaching towards the mark on her shoulder.

 Your hand had barely moved forwards when your girlfriend pulled away. Natasha glanced to the mark before turning towards you. Her face wove itself into a mask, hiding anything she was feeling.

“I, this isn’t.” Natasha stuttered, falling silent when she saw the expression on your face. 

It wasn’t an expression she had seen before. Your lips were pursed tightly, the bags under your eyes seeming more prominent than ever. But your eyes, she wasn’t sure she had ever seen then so despondent.

“How long?” You asked quietly, clearing your throat as your voice trembled. You didn’t want to show how upset you were, not yet. She was barely showing any emotion, you wanted to try to do the same.

“What?” Natasha asked, unsure if she heard you correctly. Her hand inched towards yours on the table, almost flinching when you drew away suddenly.

“How long have you and Bucky been…” You trailed off, you couldn’t say it.

Maybe if you said it, it would become more clear than it is now. Even now, Natasha could deny everything, keeping reality away from you. You weren’t sure if you could handle this reality, starting to prefer if you hadn’t noticed anything.

“Not that long.”

Her mouth opened to speak again, maybe try to make excuses or try to get you to forgive her. You didn’t care, cutting off her lies before she could speak again.

“Don’t lie to me.” You hissed, face morphing into anger as you stared her down. The redhead flinched at your harsh tone, unfamiliar to having it used on her.

Natasha licked her lips, her fingers inching towards the mark to try to cover it up again. It would still be too late, she couldn’t hide the signs once they had been noticed, she couldn’t fix what she broke.

You waited for her to say anything, to tell the truth, to explain why she did this. Nothing, she didn’t speak at all. Her eyes bored into yours as if she was trying to beg you to forgive her with her eyes. You barely noticed when her hand inched towards yours again, her fingers touching yours.

You almost let yourself back into her again.

“I’m sorry, y/n,” Natasha whispered, her thumb drawing patterns on the back of your hand before you quickly drew away. Your thumb rubbed the back of your hand, trying to wipe away the feeling of her touch.

“Sorry?” You scoffed, gesturing vaguely around you. “You think you can just say you’re sorry and that would fix this?”

Natasha hesitated, emotions beginning to leak through her meticulously kept mask. The regret flooding off of her in waves. But underneath it all, you thought you could see a thread of fear. Fear of losing you.

“How do we fix this?” The redhead asked, leaning forwards in her seat. Wincing when she spoke the wrong word. Your eyebrow raised in anger.

“We?” You asked, eyebrow still raised as your arms crossed above your chest. 

Your jaw clenched tightly, muscles tensing as you tried desperately to form some sort of mask. It got harder as you spoke, your voice trembling as tears began to gather in your eyes.

“Natasha, I don’t think you can fix this.” You muttered, hoping you were wrong. 

But there was nothing she could do. The mistake had been made. You had to live with it, even though you wanted to leave it behind.

“You broke everything we had.” You muttered, a tear slipping down your cheek. It looked like liquid gold because of the lighting.

You inhaled sharply when you saw the redhead reach forwards to wipe away your tear. Leaning backward, you almost fell out of your chair when you stood up abruptly. Footsteps neared the door as you tried to leave this mess.

You heard Natasha’s chair clatter to the floor when she stood up to chase after you. Her footsteps barely behind you as she followed you out. More tears began to stream down your face, dropping on the ground below you.

The door slammed shut behind you, leaving Natasha outside. It wasn’t locked, she could follow you if you wanted to. Though, you doubted she would.

You leaned your back against the door, breathing heavily as tears soaked your cheeks. You didn’t know what you were supposed to do. Should you leave? Wait for her in your room? But you couldn’t go back to the same bed where she had forgotten you.

A heavy sigh left your lips as you went in search of someone you could trust.

————

The loud bang of the balcony door was accompanied by rapid footsteps nearing your door. Wanda looked up from her bed, frowning in concern. Pictures were spread out on her bed as she tried to sort through them, wanting to make a photo album.

She expected to hear the sound of your bedroom door slamming shut. It was usually what happened after you fought with Natasha. This time, it didn’t happen.

Waves of anger and despair hit her as the footsteps neared your door. The slam still didn’t sound, she decided you might be waiting for someone. She bit her lip, nervously walking towards her closed door to open it.

The door handle twisted slowly before revealing you. 

You stood in front of her door, your hand raised as if you were just about to knock. Tears stained your face, your eyes still glistening with them. Your hair was messy as if you’d been running your hands through it. Your hand dropped as she opened the door, your fingers wringing together as you glanced down.

“Y/n, what happened?” Wanda asked, opening the door a little wider. Her brows furrowed in concern as you avoided eye contact with her. Your entire body seemed to be shivering despite the warmth inside.

“Can I, can I come in?” You stuttered, shivering a little more. The witch nodded and let go of the door. But you didn’t seem to notice the gesture, your eyes vacant as you watched her.

“Of course.” She stated, stepping back to give you room to step in. The witch glanced around outside, incase Natasha was behind you. She spotted her red hair, glancing towards your girlfriend as she began to close the door.

Green eyes stared at the witch as she closed the door. It shut with a soft click, Wanda licked her lips nervously. Guilt rolled off Natasha in waves, the witch could almost hear her thoughts through the door. 

Shutting her off, she sighed and turned towards you.

You stood near her bed uncomfortably, glancing towards the pictures. Your eyes seemed to linger on the pictures of you with Natasha, more tears beginning to form in your eyes. Your lip slid in between your teeth, watching the images before turning back around to face Wanda.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, gesturing to the bed for you to sit.

Hesitantly, you sat down, not before moving away the pictures laying there. One of the pictures were when you had celebrate your second anniversary with Natasha, Wanda was posing behind both of you as you took a picture.

 Your fingers ran over your happy smiles with an air of nostalgia.

“It’s Nat, she,” You bit your lip harder, willing the tears to stop flowing.

 They spilled forth anyway, a drop of blood staining your lip from where you were biting it so hard. Letting your lip loose, more tears spilled forth. A sob wrenched its way from your throat as you hunched over, eyes stinging.

Wanda sat down in front of you, one of her hands resting on your knee. She tried to look at you, looking up at you to see your face. Your hands covered your face in a hasty attempt to hide your mess. Your back shook sporadically as you shivered, your body wracked with sobs.

Red wisps caught your eye, you glanced towards it before turning to look up at Wanda. Her hand gestured towards your head. She looked at you innocently, hoping you would let her see what had happened.

It wasn’t the first time Wanda had asked. 

You had come to her many times with nightmares or something that left you broken. She helped you with her powers, using them to help you instead of harming others. You trusted her completely, more than Natasha.

You nodded weakly, trying to bring the argument to the front of your mind. The images began to play through, the hickey on her shoulder, Bucky leaving the room once you came back from a mission, the looks they shared. All of it came to the front of your mind.

Wanda looked slightly confused, unsure of what was happening as she probed further. You tried to conjure an image of them in the act. But you couldn’t, more tears began to fall from your eyes as you tried to clear your mind.

But one image kept showing, no matter what. The same smile Natasha always wore when she told you she loved you. Her lies kept coming back to you.

Wanda’s eyes widened as red wisps stopped flowing between her fingers. Her eyes bored into yours, emotions running through her. The main one being shock.

“She, oh my god,” Wanda stuttered, unable to believe it.

Your relationship with Natasha was the strongest she had seen. You had plans for the future, promises to get through everything together. All of it made you what you were. For Natasha to tear that all down for a few nights of sex, she couldn’t wrap her mind around it.

By the looks of it, neither could you.

“y/n, I’m so sorry.” She whispered though a part of her knew it wouldn’t help. Her hand rested on top of yours comfortingly, trying to provide whatever support she could.

You nodded staring down at her hand nervously. Tears fell from your eyes, streaming down to your shirt and soaking it. Your lips pursed together before you drew your hand away from Wanda’s.

The witch let the silence settle over you, waiting for you to speak. There was nothing she could do, nothing she could say to make this go away. She stayed silent, hoping you would speak eventually. Though, a part of her hoped you wouldn’t say anything, instead seeking comfort in the silence.

“Why?” You asked, voice cracking as you spoke. You bit your lip tightly, trying to steady yourself. Taking in a deep breath, you turned to face Wanda.

Her heart broke a little seeing you like this. Your eyes were turning red and puffy, tears still falling from them. You looked at her with so much pain in your eyes, like you’d watched something die.

In a way you had.

“Why the fuck did she do this?” You asked again, your voice steadier than last time. It still broke slightly as you leaned back against the headboard. Your jaw clenched as you waited for the witch to answer.

You didn’t know what you expected her to answer. Maybe she would tell you it was a mistake, or this was just a bad dream you needed to wake up from. 

Part of you hoped for that last reason, almost clinging onto it like a lifeline.

“I don’t know,” Wanda whispered, shattering the last of your hopes.

You licked your lips, tasting the salt from your tears, remembering how Natasha used to wipe them away. You could feel the ghost of her touch her thumbs running over your cheeks as you cried. 

Her comfort after you had a nightmare. 

Her lips on your skin as she drew you out of your mind’s hell.

You wiped your face angrily, trying to wipe away the ghost of her touch. The last thing you wanted was to be seeking comfort from the same woman who broke you. Turning to Wanda, you saw the gears turning in her head as she tried to come up with a solution.

“Maybe you can still work this out?” Wanda suggested timidly, cowering slightly.

You huffed, running one hand through your hair as you stood up. Voice caught in your throat, you coughed before speaking. The witch moved away from you, knowing she had said what you didn’t want to hear.

“Wanda, I don’t think…” You trailed off, palms digging into your eyes to stop the tears from flowing. 

A broken groan escaped you, the pain worsening. Your chest tightening as your arms fell to your sides. You gave up, a sigh leaving your lips as you stared down at her.

“Can’t you see how fucked up this is?” You asked, eyebrows furrowing. It was as if you were begging her to see your point of view. 

Wanda winced as she shook her head, waiting for you to explain. You almost didn’t want to, scared of narrating your worst nightmare.

“I wasn’t enough for the only person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.” You muttered, jaw clenching shut tightly.

Memories came back to you, memories of talking to Natasha about your dreams. Everything you wanted to do later, from the small cabin on the lakeside, to what you wanted to name your children. 

All of your plans, even to the small outdoor wedding you had planned. 

All of the things you wanted to do with her, gone.

“And Bucky, of all people,” You sighed, running one hand through your hair, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. Deflating, you sighed as your anger began to leave you. An empty feeling taking it’s place as tears continued to stream once more.

“even if it was a stranger it wouldn’t be that bad.” You said, another heavy sigh leaving your lips as you set your hands onto your lap. You leaned backward, laying down on the bed, fidgeting with your fingers as the witch watched you.

Bucky is, no, was your best friend. He had helped you through your hardest of places, you’d helped him once he came back from HYDRA. He was the person you wanted to go to after a long day to rant about, the person you trusted most.

 It was almost ironic that he did this.

“When, when you and Vision broke up, how did you cope?” You asked, turning to face Wanda. 

Her lips were pursed, she wanted to keep the answer to herself. You had been there when the breakup had happened, you had seen how miserable she was. But she pilled through it in a matter of months.

“Y/n…” Wanda trailed off, not wanting to answer. She wasn’t sure if you were going to break up with Natasha, she almost hoped you wouldn’t.

“Please?” You asked again, watching her carefully. Wanda caved with a heavy sigh, avoiding eye contact with you as she spoke.

“I had a few one night stands.” She confessed, glancing up at your. “Then I left for a month, to take a break from everything.”

You huffed in frustration, her answer wasn’t something you had hoped for. If it was something you wanted to do, you would’ve gone for it. But one night stands, it didn’t make sense. 

Leaving everything, that seemed a better option, even though it shouldn’t.

Wanda watched you carefully, seeing what you were going to do. She could see you weren’t going to do what she did. But you might leave, she couldn’t blame you if you did.

“You’re not the kind of person for one night stands,” Wanda stated, her jaw clenching as she noticed your posture stiffen. You relaxed slightly as you spoke, your words more of a quiet confession than an answer.

“No,”

“But you want to hurt her the same way she hurt you.” She continued, hoping she was wrong. 

The look you gave her confirmed she was right.

Your pain was morphing into anger, wanting Natasha to feel some of the pain she was causing you. The last thing you had wanted to cause her was pain, after this, you weren’t sure what you wanted anymore.

“You didn’t need to read my mind to figure that out.” You scoffed, turning away from her towards the window. The stars shone in the sky, the clouds nearing the slowly to cover the light that remained.

“I didn’t,” Wanda whispered, almost too quietly for you to hear.

Silence filled the room again as you considered what to do next. What options were there, you could stay and try to work things out or break up with Natasha. Or you could leave, away from this giant mess she had created. You had the right to.

“Do you think I should leave? Take a break?” You asked, turning towards the witch. She shrugged, not knowing what to answer. Her knees were curled up to her chest, her chin resting comfortably on top as she watched you.

“I think you should do what’s best for yourself,” Wanda answered, truly thinking so for the first time. 

She didn’t want you to leave, but it was probably what was best for you.

You chuckled sadly, wiping away the tear stains on your face. A hand-wound itself in your hair as you smiled again. Your eyes glazed over as memories continued to filter through your head.

“You know, I used to think that Natasha was the best thing that happened to me, the best thing for me.” You turned to face Wadna, silent tears streaming down your face. 

They rolled off your cheek and into the blanket below you, creating small stains. Your words stung you, a crushing feeling in your chest as you continued speaking.

“That being with her was all I would ever need.” You continued, feeling the air leave your lungs as you remembered the feeling. The feeling of looking at her and thinking, almost knowing that this was all you needed for the rest of your life.

Natasha was all you had needed.

“I used to think she felt the same.” You muttered, turning to face the ceiling. Your arms felt heavier than they should be, too heavy to wipe your face. You let them remain there, licking your lips again. Aware of the pitiful green eyes watching you.

Wanda stayed silent, unsure if you were finished. Even if you were, there wasn’t much she could say. 

You opened your mouth again, closing it as you chose your words carefully. A broken chuckle left your lips as you turned on your side, propping your head on your arm.

“How foolish, I used to think she loved me.”

Your words resounded in the room, circling back to you as you spoke them. They were so tired like you’d already given up on Natasha. You’d given up on everything you had, even your plans.

Wanda watched you turn away from her to sleep. The crying had worn you out, you found some comfort in thinking your mind couldn’t come up with a nightmare worse than your reality.

There wasn’t anything she could do to comfort you. If she tried to reassure you, maybe tell you that Natasha loved you, she would be lying. 

You had already been through enough lies.

She sighed, pulling up her knees and taking a book from the nightstand. Sleep wasn’t something that would come easily to her. Your thoughts were still too loud, she did her best to try to comfort you using her powers.

Eventually, you fell into a dreamless sleep. 

One devoid of lies and Natasha, one almost better than the reality you were in.

————

Noise from the bathroom filled the room as you lay on the bed. Sunlight streamed through the open blinds into your eyes. Wanda was in the bathroom, you were alone in the small bedroom. The pictures which were there last night had been moved.

Treasuring the small moments of the morning, you avoided the events of yesterday as you hoisted yourself of the bed. 

Honestly, you weren’t sure what you were going to do. Natasha was still in the compound, waiting to talk to you. She wasn’t one to run away after fights, you were.

Rapid knocking sounded on the door. Your head snapped to the doorway, waiting for a voice to sound.

“Y/n?” Natasha called, the door muffling her concerned voice. “Please, I know you’re in there.”

You froze at hearing her voice, convincing yourself she would go away if you didn’t do anything. Soft footsteps sounded near the bathroom. Wanda stood in the doorway, hair wet from her shower as she watched you.

It was up to you to let her in. If you talked to her, what good could come out of it? Maybe the apology, maybe a plea, but nothing enough to make you stay. If you didn’t want to talk to her, you knew you could ask Wanda.

 But it wouldn’t make this go away. It would only delay the inevitable.

Licking your lips dryly, you shook your head, deciding not to talk to her. Wanda nodded to you, heading towards the door to tell her off. The lock sounded as the doorknob rattled, along with the sound of a lock being picked.

Your eyes widened slightly as the door opened. Natasha stood behind the half-open doorway. You looked away from her as she came in, jumping to your feet.

“Y/n-” Natasha began, not getting in another word as you whirled to face her.

“NO!” You shouted, finally looking at her. Her eyes were red and swollen, hair messy but she still looked like the same woman who had lied to you. You couldn’t do this, not now.

“Natasha, I don’t want to talk to you.” You stated, keeping your voice level to not scream at her. Wanda glanced at both of you, unsure what to do. You stared her down, waiting for her response.

“Please? Just let me apologize.” Natasha pleaded, wincing under your gaze. Her eyes bore into yours, looking for any sort of response. But you’d shut yourself down, adamant to not give her any reaction. though, you doubted that would last.

“Let me try to fix this.” She asked, hoping to get a response from you, hoping you would let her explain.

But you didn’t, you scoffed and raised an eyebrow. Your arms crossed over your chest confrontationally as you looked at her. Heart hammering in your chest, you tried to stop feeling. Stop feeling everything, the nostalgia of what you were, the pain of this, everything.

“Don’t you think you’ve done enough?” You asked, voice cracking as you spoke.

Natasha paused, the answer clear in itself. She had done enough, there was nothing she could do to fix this. Explaining it could only make it worse. What could she explain anyway? 

Explain why you weren’t enough for her?

You didn’t want to stay near her. It was strange, how her mistake managed to turn everything upside down. You used to think of her as your home, the only place you felt safe and protected. Now, you’d give anything to be away from her.

Shoving past her, you headed out the door. Natasha didn’t hesitate to follow you, arm reaching out when she stopped herself.

You didn’t know where you were going, storming into the common room where the rest of the team was. They glanced up at you coming in, Natasha and Wanda at your heels.

“Y/n, please stay, just-” Natasha began, reaching out for you again. You turned around at her words, close to shoving her away from you before she stepped away.

Bucky looked up at both of you guiltily while the rest of the Avengers observed. None of them knew about your fight yesterday. Natasha had kept it under wraps, hoping she could fix this before they found out.

“Why the fuck should I stay, Natasha?” You asked, voice cracking as tears began to form in your eyes.

 The whirlwind of emotions you were avoiding caught up with you. A sob choked in your throat as you glanced away from her.

“Why should I stay when everything I gave you still wasn’t enough for you?” You demanded, stepping closer to her to look her in the eye.

Natasha avoided looking at you, trying her hardest to mask her emotions. Every question you asked cracked her mask more until it began to break. The weight of her mistake was bearing down on her, nearing like a wrecking ball. She was scared it was too late to fix the wreckage.

“Why should I stay when everything we were,” You said, wiping your face hastily to clear the tears. “everything we could have been didn’t matter to you?”

You clenched your jaw tightly, unexpectant towards answers to your questions. You watched her, thinking she would lie to you again. But she didn’t, she stared down at the ground as her eyes grew watery.

Her mask finally broke.

Tears slipped down her face, dripping onto the floor, landing with the soft patter of raindrops. Showing emotion wasn’t common to her, crying was out of the question. She had rarely let you see her breakdown, let alone the rest of the team.

Silence shrouded the room in an ugly cloud. Natasha’s sobs the only sound in the room. No one dared to move, watching both of you intently. The redhead opened her mouth, closing it after as she weighed her words.

“You should stay because I love you,” Natasha whispered, her voice barely loud enough for you to hear.

You licked your lips slowly, eyes tracing the tears falling down her cheeks. A small part of you wanted to wipe them away, to never hurt her again. It was what you’d promised her after all, to never hurt her or lie to her.

It never occurred to you that she would be the one hurting you. That she would be the one who should have made that promise.

“I don’t love you anymore.” You stated, keeping your voice as flat as you could.

Natasha looked up to you, searching your face for your tell. She couldn’t see it, staring at you, desperately hoping you were lying. It was like she was searching for you, but instead of looking for the truth, she was looking for the lie.

There wasn’t one. 

You were telling her the truth.

“Not after this,” You muttered, facade breaking as you let out a sigh. Your eyes slipped to Bucky, who looked up at you. Shutting your eyes tightly, you looked away from him, unable to look him in the eye.

There wasn’t anything you could say. Your heart thudded dully in your chest, the nervousness of seeing Natasha wearing down. Now, you were just upset and angry. All you wanted was to leave.

But there was a question you needed to ask her.

“How do I make you love me again?” Natasha asked, speaking before you could. 

You sighed again, a despondent sound as you looked back up at her. Your eyes were vacant, sad like you’d given up on her.

“I don’t think you can Nat.” You whispered. A sad smile graced your lips, twisting the corners of your mouth into a broken look.

You turned around, about to leave when you remembered the question you’d been asking yourself the moment all of this began. You didn’t want to ask her, scared of the answer. But you wanted to know.

“Just tell me one thing.” You began, turning back around to face her. Natasha looked up at you hopefully, but your expression was serious, crushing her hopes easily.

“Which part of me wasn’t enough for you?”

Natasha opened her mouth but closed it after. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She should have answered something. Maybe lie to you, tell you that nothing was wrong with you. But she didn’t admit it, staying silent.

“No, I genuinely don’t understand.” You ran one hand through your hair, stepping backward. Your eyes glanced around the room.

Wanda was watching the interaction, looking at you worriedly. Steve’s face showed nothing, but his eyebrows were furrowed in anger as he looked at Natasha. You didn’t look at Bucky, you still couldn’t. He sat in your peripheral, looking from you to Natasha guiltily.

“I don’t understand how I wasn’t enough for you.” You spoke, voice wavering as tears began to form in your eyes. “I don’t understand how you slept in the same bed as me, knowing you had broken us.”

Natasha didn’t say anything.

She slept in the same bed as you, made plans with you about your future, told you she loved you. All in the same day she had cheated on you. All in the same day she decided you weren’t enough for her.

“How, how did you even sleep at night?.” You spoke, stepping forward to look into her eyes.

“In the same bed, we talked about spending the rest of our lives together, you broke us.” 

Natasha opened her mouth to speak, a strangled sound coming out. Her eyes glanced down, staring at the floor instead of you. She had never seen you this hurt. Even after missions, when you were scared and crying after a nightmare.

She hurt you more than anyone before, even though you had given her what no one had.

“Y/n, please, it was a mistake,” Natasha begged you, pleading you with her eyes. You stepped away, betrayal shining in your face as you did so. Her eyes slipped to Bucky who looked almost as guilty as she did.

“Please just,” She reached forwards to take your hand, watching you pull away quickly. 

Her eyes shut tightly in a desperate effort to stop crying. It only irritated her eyes as more tears slipped away. She looked up at you again, staring at your blank face.

“Will, you ever forgive me?” She asked, watching your facade crash into anger.

Forgiveness. After everything, after throwing away everything, she dared to ask for your forgiveness. It was almost funny how naive this situation had made her. Anger shrouded you as you looked at her.

“You don’t deserve to be forgiven.” You stated harshly, clenching your jaw tightly.

The redhead winced at your word, a broken chuckle leaving her lips as she looked up at you. She remembered when you had told her otherwise. When you had told her she deserved to be forgiven for her mistakes. 

What she had ruined would come to haunt her.

“You convinced me I deserved to be forgiven, that I deserved love,” Natasha whispered, fondly remembering your promises to her.

You remembered your reassurances as clearly as she did, maybe even clearer. Her nightmares were always more shattering than the reality. But you were always there for her, convincing her that she deserved your love.

“And you had me convinced that you loved me.” You breathed, watching the fondness fade from her face into heartbreak.

You knew she still loved you. She had told you too many times, making it a tradition more than important words. The first time she said them, it was more difficult than you had thought. After, it was almost like the words were meaningless to her.

“I believed you, I used to think you loved me.” You spoke, heartbreak resonating in your tone as you turned away.

Everyone was still watching you intently. Your entire family was watching you, the rest of the team was in the living room now. Funny, the only time you thought they would be watching you and Natasha talk like this would be at your wedding, the day you promised each other your lives. 

Now, they were watching as you broke apart.

She opened her mouth to speak. You winced, waving her off.

“Don’t, don’t say anything.” You stuttered, stepping back slightly. You didn’t want to hear her speak, her lies, or her truth. Not that you could tell the difference anymore. She closed her mouth in surprise.

“I can’t tell the difference between your lies and your truth.” You said, licking your lips nervously.

To your surprise, she didn’t say anything. Maybe she had given up on trying to fix this. You had already given up.

Looking down, you decided to leave. If you stayed, all you would get was apologies from your family and Natasha. If you stayed, nothing could come out of it. Wanda was right to take a break after her breakup. She came back stronger after it.

Maybe you would come back stronger after. You didn’t know if you ever planned to come back.

“I’m leaving, away from this mess.” You told her, looking around the rest of the room.

They were shocked, but Wanda looked like she expected it. She gave you a small nod, leaving the room quickly. The rest of them looked up at you in shock, almost stepping up to argue with you when they caught sight of a tear making its way down your cheek.

They couldn’t stop you from leaving. Not even if they wanted to.

Your eyes fell to Bucky. He looked up at you apologetically as you finally looked him in the eye. Everything was gone from your eyes, the affection you used to greet him with. He was sure his mistake would haunt him for the rest of his life. 

This was one of his biggest regrets.

“Will I, will I ever see you again?” Natasha asked timidly, hope underlining her tone. She couldn’t stop you from leaving her with her mistakes. All she could do was hope for your return. Upon seeing your expression, that seemed unlikely.

“If the entire world turns upside down, you might.” You said a halfhearted joke as you turned towards the door.

Leaving your things behind, leaving your entire family behind. There wasn’t anything here for you anymore. Her mistake had taken that away too.

Maybe in a few years, you would come back, turn this into a story to tell your friends. Tell them the story about how Natasha Romanoff loved you. The story about how you used to love her.

World Turned Upside Down

A/N: I actually wove all of them together. And everyone who made it down to here, please tell me how it is, I put a lot of time and effort into it. Comment and reblog!!!

Tag List: @capcarolsdanver​​, @versdan​, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught​, @lovebotlarson​, @dhengkt​, @hstoria​, @natasha-danvers​, @veryfunnyal​, @xxxtwilightaxelxxx​ , @ophelias-heart​  , @never-didbefore​ , @justarandomhumanhere​, @the-most-unicorn-of-them-all , @thatssocamryn​ , @lesbian-x-blackwidow​ , @marvelbbyx​ , @wlw-imaginesss​ , @hcartbyheart​​ , @summergeezburr​​ , @imnotasuperhero​  , @a-stressedstudent​ , @aaron-despair​ , @rooskaya-yelena​ , @dynnealberto , @thewitchandtheassassin​ , @wannabe-fic-reader​ , @izalesbean​, @higherfurther-romanova​  , @natalia-quinzel​    let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!

[sunset-curve-fantom]

Hey hey hey!! My boo! It’s been rather hell lately at work with dealing with this pandemic, rude clients, RUDDER patients... and the occasional chasing a dog towards the door. Could you be a dear and write about my dearest Lucas Patterson on how he reacts and helps me after a rather rough day at work... from the stories I’ve told you I’m pretty sure you’d have no trouble in adding how a normal day of mine goes. Hint... it’s never a normal day unless I get hurt somehow or have to wrestle with something. If you want to have me being Alex’s sister that’d be dope!

Is it detailed enough or shall I add more 👀

IN A WORLD OF DOGS - ALIVE!LUKE X READER

SYD- YOU BETTER FUCKING ENJOY THIS AFTER YOUR ROUGHT DAY.

WARNING- SMUT, UNPROTECTED SMUT

This pandemic has been filled with long days, chasing animals and their owners through the hectic vet’s office. As the days dwelled on, so did the stress and amount of unhappiness you were feeling. A day at work was a day without Luke, and he was the one who brought a smile to your face daily. 

Today was one of those days, long hours, and lots of patients. From tiny Chihuahuas to the nastiest of Rottweilers, your day was filled with stress and body pain. To top your day off, you spent half an hour trying to tackle a Great Dane running loose through the vet’s office. Which only caused more stress on your body, on top of the normal wear and tear. 

 So of course, your attitude was high strung. You were done with your job, you were done with these owners, and all you wanted to do was go home and cuddle with Luke. 

On this snowy night, you were heading home, and you knew Luke was going to be unhappy with you. As you had worked a double at the vet’s office due to three of your co-workers being out of the office with COVID.  

The snow was filling your wind shield as you pulled into the house, the garage lights still on as Luke was most likely practicing late. An easy distraction for him when you were busy with your overwhelming amount of work. Thankfully, you were only a vet assistant, and not a full-blown vet so Luke saw a lot more of you.

 But either way- he was saddened when you had to work these longer shifts and you didn’t make it home until later. The snow clung to your hair as you began to pry open the garage doors, seeing Luke chilling on the couch with his guitar.

 He pried his eyes away from his song book to catch your cold figure walking in. He rose from his spot on the couch, laying his guitar down as he took in your appearance. 

 “Is it cold out there?” he said, approaching you. 

It was clear to you that he was more interested in other things, than you coming home.  You shot him a nasty look, was that all he had to say to you? 

“I’m sorry, what?” You said, swinging around to meet his eyes. They seemed so cold as the stared back at you.

 “I asked if it was cold, did you not hear me?” He said, venom filling his voice as he glared harder at you. You could feel the icy glare in your soul.

 “Oh, I did- but the attitude is unreal, Luke. I don’t need it today.” You said, as you walked past him. Carefully brushing your shoulder against his, but as you made your way by him. He roughly grabbed your upper arm, pulling you close to him.

 “And I didn’t need you working a double today but look what you did.” He said, the anger clear in his tone. 

“I have a job, Luke. What do you want me to do? Not show up. I am the one making money to put into this band. So, stop acting like a child and maybe be grateful for what I am doing for the both of us” You said, venom dripping off your words as you tore your arm away from him. A growl came from his throat as he grabbed onto you tighter. 

“Do not use that tone with me- I am grateful for what you do for me, for this band, for us as a couple. But I am not grateful for your attitude and your uncanny ability to not call when you are working late. I sit around all day waiting for you, because I love you and I want to spend time with you. Period.”  

You melted into this angry side of him, it was turning you on as the time dwelled on. You slowly turned to face him, as the grip on your arm started to loosen. You both knew the fights were never ending, but it was out of love and not hate. 

 “Luke- I…” You began as he cut you off, taking your lips in his. You both fought for dominance in your kiss. You were so close to winning until he tightly wrapped his large hand around your throat, throwing you onto the couch behind you.

  A gasp escaped from your throat as you looked up into his dark eyes, clearly shadowed with lust. You felt the coolness from the couch, creep onto your back as your shirt was raised slightly.

  ~IF YOU YOUNG- ITS TIME TO GO 18+ ~

 You could feel his hips starting to grind into you as he deepened the kiss. A soft moan escaped your lips as you aggressively pulled at his hair, his orange beanie tipping off his head. 

 His rough hands running under your work scrubs as he began to explore your body. Soft groans falling from your lips as his calloused hands running up and down your body, as he nipped at the sensitive spot on your neck.

  He roughly pulled at the bottom of your scrub top, almost as a signal to take it off. He quickly tugged it over your head exposing your breasts to him. He shot you a smirk before taking your hard nipple in his mouth. 

 You threw your head back in total pleasure, as he began to suck aggressively leaving love bites all over your sensitive breasts. You began to pull at his band tee, as he hovered over you. He looked down deep into your eyes, as he sat up and pulled his shirt over his head, exposing his toned chest as his necklaces collided with his collarbone.

 You leaned into his collarbone and began to suck lightly, leaving a small love bite. He pulled your dark hair roughly away from him, taking your lips quickly in his. The kiss once again became a struggle for dominance, as he slipped his tongue in your mouth. 

The kiss was becoming sloppy but full of desire, as you moved your hands down to his jeans. Carefully undoing the button and began lowering them down his legs as far as you could reach. He pulled away from you, giving you a smirk. 

 “Can I help you babe?” He said, his voice husky and lips swollen. 

You squirmed under him, “I need you to rail me into the fucking wall”

 He just smiled before ripping your scrub pants from your legs, exposing your leaking heat to him. He stood up, before ridding himself of his constricting denim and bright colored boxers.

 He shot you a devious smirk before he dove carefully between your legs. Lapping up the fluid leaking from your sensitive heat. Your back arched as he took your clit between his lips and began sucking gently. An ungodly moan came from deep inside of you, as you tried to move away from him. 

He gripped your thighs and held them open as he continued to lap up your fluids, as an orgasm began to overtake your senses. You bucked your hips as it was like a wave crashing over you, he knew exactly what he was doing with that tongue. 

As he rose from your heat, he shot you a dirty smirk before crashing his lips to yours, tasting your orgasm on his lips. You gently tugged at his hair once again, as he settled between your legs.  

He carefully pulled back, looking deep into your eyes before slowly entering you, giving you a few moments before moving. He slowly began to thrust into you, before he harshly thrusted into you.  

Your eyes rolling back into your head at the pleasure you were feeling with him deep inside of you. As his thrusts began to speed up, you could hear small growls coming from his throat as you moaned under him. 

You reached down between the both of you, slowly rubbing your clit. He noticed what you were doing, and he harshly reached down grabbing your hands, pinning them above your head as he thrusted faster into you.  

His brow began to furrow as his thrusts became sloppier, he released your hands as he wrapped one hand around your throat and the other began to rub your clit. Your eyes rolled back into your head as you felt your orgasm beginning to form. 

You began to buck your hips into his thrusts as your orgasm was on the brink of exploding. Your nails were clawing at his back as you began to pulse around his cock, he moaned loudly in your ear. His orgasm was on the brink, as he slammed his hips against yours and began to fill you with his load. A spread of warm filled your lower stomach as he filled you.

 The room was filled with heavy breathing and the smell of sex, as he rolled off you. He chuckled under his breath as he sat up, looking back at you.

  “What?” you said, placing a soft kiss to his shoulder as you put on his band tee. 

“You want a massage now? Or just more rough sex… don’t want to fuck up that fractured vertebrae even more.” He said, sending you a smirk. 

You gasped and hit him with a pillow, causing him to laugh at your reaction.

 In a world of dogs, you were thankful for Luke Patterson.

TAGLIST: 

@notasofti @julies-molina @calamitykaty @kcd15 @crybabyddl @all-in-fangirl @gia-kerks @morganayennefertyrell @imsydneywalker @dancethroughthethunder @thee-ava-mariee

[boonki]

Kiss prompts: no. 48? 🥰🥰

48. kisses with trembling lips from these prompts! 

HI FRIEND HOPE YOURE READY TO BE SAD

this takes place right after the deception/rako hardeen arc, right after obi-wan gets his real face back. because what the FUCK was that whole arc. anyways, hope you’re having a wonderful day! thank you for the ask ❤️❤️ here you go love: 

______

Anakin can hardly feel the sharp edges of the chair beneath him, his anguish and rage drowning out his senses as he waits for Obi-wan to return to their quarters. 

Nothing has changed, of course. Anakin hadn’t had the heart to move his stained and loved mug, his inherited and half-dead plants, his discarded robes, and treasured books, rare and precious, much like their owner. He felt a pang of solidarity for them: he, too, was one of Obi-wan’s forgotten things, abandoned in death. 

When Obi-wan opens that door, it’ll be like he never left. 

Except that’s not quite true: how can Anakin even begin to explain what havoc Obi-wan’s wreaked on his heart? 

The kitchen is sterile, devoid of Anakin’s habitual mess, and poorly lit. He doesn’t want to face Obi-wan in the light; he’d rather be able to hide his grief in the shoulder of his dear friend, the shadow, who has seen so many of Anakin’s hot, quivering tears. Only the emergency lights that backlight the sink have been left on, solely because Anakin can’t turn them off without tripping the alarms. The place glows a bleak, navy blue, like the rain that falls from a weeping sky. 

Their door creeps open, hesitant. The face that follows is so familiar Anakin can’t help the minuscule gasp that rips out of his throat. 

“Anakin?” Obi-wan asks, genuinely surprised. Guilt laces through every feature, tugging on upturned eyebrows, pleading eyes, and pressed lips, pulling his entire body taunt. 

“What, did you think I’d be asleep?” Anakin scoffs, malevolent. 

Obi-wan doesn’t respond, but the downturn of his mouth tells him the truth: he did think Anakin would be sleeping. 

“How could you do that to me?” Anakin whispers, each word violent, a dagger that Anakin wants to tear into Obi-wan with. He’s holding onto his rage like it’s the only thing keeping him together, and in a way, it is. If he lets go, all the grief and yearning will come pouring through and empty him out completely.

Obi-wan closes the door and treads lightly over to Anakin, pulling out a chair and taking a nervous seat next to him, knees close enough to touch. His face is cast in shades of blue from the emergency lights, full of sorrow. 

“It was wrong of me. Please forgive me.” 

Anakin takes in his apology, but there’s so much anger left, a sickness he needs to spew before he can heal. 

“Obi-wan, I”—he whimpers, emotion clogging his throat—“I held your dead body. I grieved for you. I watched them bury you.” His nose stings with unshed tears, vision going blurry. “And for what? So you could...could use me in some plan? I mean, how did you think I would feel? Huh?”

Obi-wan looks anywhere but his face, studying the fine grain of their standard issue tabletop. 

Anakin has been sitting still up until this point, hands in his lap, but now he turns to Obi-wan, shifting in his seat so that their knees are interlaced. He leans into the man’s space, and with each inch closer, the sharp tendrils of fury melt into the all-encompassing ache of heartbreak and suffering. Of longing. Of regret. Of a keen and simple yearning for more.

Or, blending them all together, the messy and complicated condition of unrequited love. 

He’s waited too long to tell Obi-wan, and has learned the hard way that the regret of unspoken feelings is a ravenous beast, waiting to devour the hopeless.

“And I never got to tell you that I loved you.” He corrects himself: “That I love you.” With shaking hands, he ghosts his palms over Obi-wan’s cheeks, cupping his face. “Do you know how much that haunted me?” 

Obi-wan’s eyes are blown wide, and he’s holding perfectly still, his lips parted in disbelief. When he doesn’t respond, Anakin takes the opportunity to skim his fingers over Obi-wan’s forehead, into his hairline, over the curves of his ears, into the soft skin of his lips. He runs his palms down Obi-wan’s shoulders, his athletic and sturdy arms, and into the calloused skin of his hands, where he holds tight. Obi-wan’s fingers fold around his: their lifeline. 

“I can’t believe you’re alive.” He says to Obi-wan’s hands, to himself. 

He hears Obi-wan swallow and breathe in through his nose. 

“I thought you wouldn’t…” Obi-wan trails off, his voice tight with emotion. “I thought you didn’t…” 

“What? Care?” Anakin looks up at Obi-wan with leaking eyes. “Are you kidding me?” 

Obi-wan feebly shakes his head, and breathes out his response. “Notice.” 

Anakin just stares at him, looking from one eye to the other as Obi-wan formulates the rest of his thought. The cool air swims like a pool of blue between them, the somber lighting paling Obi-wan’s skin out. 

“I didn’t think you’d notice I was gone.” 

The entirety of Anakin’s face crumbles at the thought. But before he can answer, Obi-wan continues: 

“I didn’t think I was important to you anymore. You’re not my padawan—you don’t need an old man like me anymore.” His voice cracks, and for the first time since Anakin was a child, he sees water pool in the corners of Obi-wan’s eyes, glistening, staining the murky whites a painful red. A droplet escapes onto his lower lashes, and traces over the curve of his cheek. 

Anakin is heartbroken, indignant, and devastated all at once. He abandons his chair in favor of straddling Obi-wan’s thighs, bringing his hands up to Obi-wan’s face again. With trembling lips and tears, he peppers soft kisses to the lines of Obi-wan’s features: the salty, tear-stained crinkle of his eyes, the worried creases in his forehead, the edges of his wobbling lips.

“Of course I need you,” he keens. “I’ve always needed you.” He rests his forehead against Obi-wan’s, closing his eyes. “I’ll need you as long as I live.” 

Obi-wan takes a few breaths, his exhales hot on Anakin’s lips. “Oh,” he says, softly. 

Anakin closes the distance and kisses him deeply, the feeling of Obi-wan’s pliant lips a salve to Anakin’s hurts. It’s barely a start to what Anakin wants to do with him, but he pulls back and instead gathers Obi-wan up in his arms, cradling the back of his head in one hand, shuffling his hips forwards so that he’s completely enveloping Obi-wan’s torso in his own. They melt together, Obi-wan threading his arms around Anakin’s waist and squishing his face into the hard space of Anakin’s shoulder. 

“I love you, Obi-wan. Never do that to me again.” He mumbles into Obi-wan’s hair, feeling like he might crack under the weight of his own heart, his own love. It’s so much, and he’s had to carry it alone for so long. 

“I love you too, dear one. And I’m so sorry.” Obi-wan confesses.

And in each other’s arms, Anakin sees the path forward; he’s been lost in the desert, stumbling around for a future, ready to hit the hard sand and crumble to dust, but now he sees Obi-wan on the horizon, and he’s running, slipping, bounding towards the man as if he held life in his hands. The terrain might be rocky, forsaken, depleted, but together, they’ll make it out okay. 

Because Obi-wan is still alive, folded neatly into Anakin’s arms, resting against and inside of his beating heart, forever, where he’s always belonged and always will remain.

[hailbop1701]

Fleet Week

October 5, 2021 (Stabbed)

Word Count: 2,018

This one has to be one of my favorites! Not beta-read (yet I think it may be updated later on) but I hope you enjoy it anyway!

-H

Masterlist

Starfleet medical was bustling with activity, this was due to the fact it was the busiest time of the year. Fleet Week; like the days of old. Fleet Week was the tradition of being in a port town for shore leave. Now it was when multiple fleet vessels were orbiting Earth for some well-deserved shore leave at home.

San Francisco is sprawling with multiple different species with multiple different diseases, drugs, and STDs. So this means that the local hospitals were overflowing and doctors and nurses were at their wit’s end.

“Fucking Fleet Week,”

One doctor growled his southern drawl more pronounced after working the ER for the past seven hours after his regular thirteen-hour shift. Rushing in and out between cubicles of overflowing patients, he saw almost ten people in the last ten minutes. And he definitely saw more than he ever wanted to, but unfortunately, that’s the job.

Doctor Leonard McCoy scowled his way through the throngs of people in the Emergency room, upon seeing him they parted like the Red Sea. He looked down at his PADD with a grumble, the man he had just treated had shoved several data chips down his throat in hopes to hide the information from the police. McCoy rolled his eyes and signed the PADD before shoving it into the hands of the officer who brought the guy in, “Watch him closer next time,” he growled as he walked past.

Taking another PADD from the nurse who was trailing him. “Cube seven, multiple lacs, and a dislocated shoulder.” She said with pursed lips. McCoy stopped and looked at her and then the name on the PADD.

“Really?”

The nurse shrugged, “He asked for you specifically,” she crossed her arms knowing exactly how to deal with the cantankerous doctor. Throwing up his hands in defeat, Leonard strode over to the cubicle and glared at its occupant. Sitting there with a shit-eating grin was James T. Kirk. He was bleeding from multiple different deep cuts and gently held his arm to his chest,

“Hey Bones!” the kid greeted and McCoy snorted his brewing headache steadily growing worse and worse. The stabbing pain made him wince ever so slightly as he moved to examine his battered friend.

“Damnit Jim,” the doctor muttered. Kirk winced but laughed as McCoy gently poked and prodded at him. “I swear it wasn’t my fault this time!” the young cadet said hissing in pain when he accidentally jostled his shoulder. McCoy hummed sounding unconvinced,

“Yeah, who was she?” he asked looking at Kirk with a raised eyebrow. The kid laughed dryly and nodded, “Lucy…” he breathed and then frowned,

“Shit, I forgot to get her comm. number.”

McCoy shook his head looking exasperated. Clicking his tongue Leonard gestured for the nurse to take Kirk’s other side. Together they managed to get the cadet’s shoulder back into place. Jim gritted his teeth but otherwise didn’t make a sound; unsurprised McCoy took the hypo the nurse offered and unceremoniously jabbed it into Kirk's neck. The young man yelped,

“I thought you were supposed to do that before putting my shoulder back into place?!”

Leonard gave his best friend a smirk and shrugged, “I forgot,” he said innocently tapping away at his PADD. Jim grumbled curses under his breath, he slowly laid down, shifting uncomfortably as the nurse began to clean him up and place a regen unit on his lacerations.

A loud shriek and crash from outside made Leonard fumble and drop his PADD to the floor with a shatter. Kirk sat up quickly and groaned in pain at the sudden movement. The screaming and shouting continued, “Stay here!” he ordered his patient and nurse. Striding out into the bay McCoy swiveled and saw immediately what the problem was.

A very large man was rampaging through the ER. “Fucking Fleet Week,” he snarled. Rushing over to a sealed medical cabinet Leonard placed his hand on the scanner. It beeped and lit up green before opening with a low hiss. Grabbing a detox hypo and a potent sedative Leonard moved cautiously back into the fray.

The man was wrecking and tearing apart the ER was practically naked; right down to his skivvies. Leonard eyed the screaming snarling man as he quietly approached, ‘Elevated body temperature, confusion, extreme agitation, adrenaline-induced strength. He was either drugged or taking drugs, it’s similar to old PCP.’ he thought mind running a mile a minute.

McCoy froze as the heavily drugged male roared and kicked a biobed, patients, nurses, and doctors alike screamed and quickly moved out of the way. That’s when he saw it, the knife. Huffing a quiet sigh Leonard eased himself forward as quietly and quickly as possible.

When he was only a good five feet away McCoy stashed his hypos up his sleeves and straightened. He gave a shrill whistle gaining the attention of his new patient, the man whirled around screaming at the medical cadet. Leonard didn’t flinch, instead, he made eye contact and slowly raised his empty hands in a placating gesture.

“Easy now big fella,” he said keeping his voice calm and even. The man screamed and kicked a hoverchair out of his way; it missed McCoy by several feet but it didn’t make the security team that just arrived any less twitchy. “Easy, I just want to help. If you put the knife down we’ll get you some water,” Leonard offered hoping that the man’s thirst outweighed his need for violence.

The man seemed to relax slightly, he lowered the knife so it was by his side instead of pointed at McCoy. Leonard moved a touch closer hands still raised and visible.

“Okay now if you want that water, I need ya to sit down for me,”

The man looked at the doctor numbly before heavily sitting down on a gurney. McCoy breathed a little bit easier and tried to not focus solely on the knife that was still in his patient’s hands. He was almost standing in front of the drugged-out individual when his luck took a turn for the worst. The area had been silent, everyone was watching with bated breath, keeping silent in fear that the slightest noise might provoke the man again. They were right.

Someone stepped back, but by doing so sent medical instruments crashing to the floor. The noise was deafening. Time stood still, McCoy’s eyes widened as the man in front of him reared up like a spooked horse. Knowing he had very little time Leonard pulled the two hypos from his sleeves. Security fired their phasers, bystanders screamed and ducked for cover, McCoy called out trying to stop them. But it was too late.

The man was on the ground smoking, multiple phaser wounds covered his chest and stomach. McCoy raced forward and checked his pulse, there was none to be found. Growling he glared up at the boys in red,

“Bones!”

Kirks’s voice echoed over the revived hustle and bustle of the ER; doctors and nurses moved with renewed energy trying to reestablish some kind of order to things. Jim ran over to him but stopped short when he saw the body being lifted off the ground,

“You okay Bones?” Jim asked warily upon seeing the thunderous anger on the country doctor’s face. Tired hazel eyes met worried blue ones, “I’m-” Leonard sighed and shook his head in disappointment.

“Let’s finish getting you fixed up and discharged,”

Under normal circumstances, Jim would have groaned and moaned but he figured in this case he thought it would be best if he did as he was told. Kirk sat silently on his exam bed as Bones flittered around the room doing some unnecessary straightening as the regen unit was doing its work. Jim chewed on the inside of his cheek nervously, he wanted to talk to his best friend, to say something that would make him feel better but he just couldn’t come up with the right words. Kirk wholeheartedly blamed the painkiller he was on.

Jim sat up when he saw it, at his sudden movement and hiss of pain McCoy turned. He opened his mouth to berate the young cadet but it fell short. Leonard staggered feeling suddenly light-headed.

“Bones, you’re bleeding!” Jim gasped, Leonard followed his gaze. He was right, there on his right side was a giant blossom of red coating his uniform. Cursing under his breath he was beginning to feel it, the bloodloss, and now that his adrenaline was dissipating the pain and fatigue. “Damn he must’a knicked me,” he murmured sounding annoyed. Jim spluttered,

“We need help, why don’t you-”

McCoy held up his hand silencing his best friend mid-sentence. “No need to fuss, Jim, I got it,”

Kirk’s jaw went slack as he watched McCoy sit heavily on a stool and lift up his shirt. Jim blinked, sure he was inclined to a special male friend every once and a while. But Bones was off-limits. Only brotherly love there. Jim couldn’t help but think,

‘Damn Bones where did you hide the abs?’

“This puts a whole new spin on ‘Physician heal thyself,” he said aloud with a snicker. McCoy rolled his eyes. ‘This isn’t the worst thing I’ve had to fix,’ he thought with a slight grimace.

Leonard pulled his shirt up and held the ruined fabric in between his teeth. He leaned back and examined the bloody wound, grunting in annoyance he reached out blindly for the cleaning wipes that had been left on the tray beside Kirk’s bed.

Upon finding what he was looking for McCoy expertly cleaned away the blood only hissing at the occasional sting the alcohol made.

“Bones, are you sure you don’t want me to call a nurse or something?” Jim asked disbelief coloring his tone. McCoy curled his lip,

“No, they’re busy with half of the galaxy and their mother. I’ll be fine,”

Kirk cocked his head to the side only managing to decipher half of what his best friend said; his mouth already preoccupied with his shirt made him sound completely muffled.

The blood finally cleaned away despite more and more leaking from the open wound Leonard grabbed the portable regen unit. Flicking it on he carefully placed it on his abdomen. Sighing the doctor looked up,

“What?” he asked raising a single eyebrow at his dumbfounded speechless friend. Jim just shook his head,

“You look like you’ve done this before,” he muttered with a dry chuckle. Leonard snorted and nodded at the kid’s guess. Leonard let go of his shirt allowing it to fall and rest on the regen unit he held.

“Jim, I worked the ER in Atlanta. Things occasionally got a little hairy,”

Kirk stared at the country doctor like he had grown three heads and sprouted wings. McCoy snickered, “Boy, I’ve seen some shit in my time, ain’t no little cut is going to stop me from doin’ my job,” Leonard’s southern drawl became pronounced. So pronounced that it made McCoy wince and wrinkle his nose. Jim pressed his lips into a thin line, the appearance of McCoy’s accent meant the older man was tired. Very tired. He knew that the doctor hid his drawl almost as if he were self-conscious of it. Kirk remembered once hearing Bones admit (heavily drunk, mind you) that people tended to not take him as seriously. It may have been the twenty-third century but there were still biases.

The regen unit beeped happily and lit up green. McCoy lifted it away and examined the wound again. Grunting in approval he set the regenerator down and grabbed a thick gauze bandage, glancing up he gave a little shrug,

“Knowing my luck, I’ll end up opening it back up,” he muttered wryly. Jim snorted and shook his head, “Man you can’t say shit to me now. You’re just as bad!” he accused with a grin. McCoy rolled his eyes,

“Sorry Kid doesn’t work that way. I don’t go searchin’ for trouble,”

Jim barked out a laugh, “Bullshit!”

Leonard rolled his eyes and scowled hoping to hide the slight smile that wants to spread across his face.

Tags:

Everything: @lauraaan182, @chickadee-djarin, @cowenby2, @bluesclues-1234,@sayuri9908

WhumpTober: @theatrevicki, @ekna1307

[manianart]

Unlikely Alliance pt2

He woke up due to light shining into the room he was in. His first reaction was to sit up fast and look around, fearing he had overslept and the light had been turned on by someone to get him. But nobody was there-

That’s strange. Why was there light if nobody had used the light switch, he didn’t have a window in his room after all.

Then it hit him, he wasn’t in his room at the facility.

This was a different room. Memories of the previous day came flooding back into his mind and he took a deep breath. Oh, right!

He changed his position, letting his legs hang over the edge of the bed, and looked around the room some more. It wasn’t a bad room. A table with two chairs, a heater, a small carpet, two doors leading to different rooms and a window. The window looked big but when he looked again Sheriff saw that it had bars in front of it. Not that he would really know where to go anyway even if he got the chance to escape. And with the chain around his ankle even the thought of fleeing felt ridiculous. 

Sheriff looked out the window for a bit. It was nice to see the sun rise again. When it went missing the first time he had felt something missing but somehow they had gotten a second chance. He didn’t know how it happened or why but he was happy for it.

He didn’t know how long he had been sitting on the bed staring out when one of the doors suddenly opened and Hank stepped inside.

H: “...you’re awake early.” Sheriff gave an uncertain half smile at that. Sh: “Yeah...I’m used to not sleeping much.” Hank stared at him for a second or two after that. Did he say something wrong? Before he could ask any questions Hank sat down in one of the chairs at the table, motioning for him to come closer and sit as well.

Sheriff swallowed, not sure what was about to come. He quickly got up to follow the others orders, too quickly. Grabbing his middle fast as the stinging signaled the wounds on his stomach opening back up again. Looking down he saw some blood start soaking into his clothes and suddenly Hank was there, holding onto his wrists with his hands and looking at the blood.

H: “What did you do?!”

Sheriff blinked a few times, the harsh tone of the other bringing tears to his eyes.

Sh: “N-nothing! I’ve had these for a while! I think I just moved too fast.”

Hank stared into his eyes with an intensity that made Sheriffs knees feel weak. Would he believe that? It wasn’t a lie after all but what would he do if Hank didn’t believe him?

H: “How?”

Sh: “Wh-what?”

H: “How did this happen?!”

Sh: “O-oh...uhm...remember when...your friends, the rebels, stole that crate? I was tasked with keeping that… there was a locator chip in there that was...pretty important. When Phobos found out I had fucked up...this...this was part of the punishment.”

Hanks eyes showed a huge amount of disbelieve at that, giving Sheriff a few slow blinks before his hands let go of the others wrists and moved down to his shirt so fast Sheriff couldn’t even get out a word of protest. Two of the cuts had opened back up again, seeping out blood and stinging as fresh air hit them.

H: “You didn’t even bandage them!”

Sh: “They were doing okay up until right now! Something must’ve rubbed up against them to cause this…”

Hank sighed, a pang of guilt hitting him in the back of his head as he thought back to the way he carried the Sheriff. Over his shoulder with the others stomach rubbing against his shoulder pads.

H: “This will need to be cleaned and bandaged.” Sheriff felt his face heat up before swiftly covering his midst with his arms. Sh: “Didn’t you just tell me the other day that you don’t want to waste any medical supplies on me?” Anger was leaking out of that statement and Hank stopped for a second. Sheriff was looking away, not able to look at the other at the moment, until Hank started to stand up. He looked unhappy, his eyes cold and his stare and voice leaving no way for discussion as he spoke again.

H: “I said that so you wouldn’t do something stupid! THIS needs to be attended to and you WILL comply with what is about to happen, Un-der-STOOD?!”

Sheriff gave a whimpered response, nodding to show he understood.

Hank nodded as well, leaving the room after staring at the other for a few seconds longer to see if the point really was made clear.

When he was satisfied with the resulting shiver he got from the Sheriff he left and got back inside the room a few minutes later, a medi-kit in one hand and Sheriffs beloved hat in the other.

H: “Forgot to give this back yesterday. Here.” Hank swiftly placed the hat on top of Sheriffs head, covering his eyes with it by placing it wonky.

A snicker came from the taller man as Sheriff grabbed for the hat, a bit disoriented at that since he was under the impression he’d never see it again. Rearranging his hat so he could see again he sucked in some air as Hank was really close now, staring at the cuts and getting out some cotton balls, a flask with some liquid and some bandages.

The moment the flask was opened the room was filled with the strong smell of the disinfectant.

H: “Hold still and it’ll be over soon.” Sheriff nodded and bit his lower lip as a cotton ball doused in the disinfectant was pressed to one of the cuts.

The coldness of it hit him first and then the bruning started. Fucking damn this hurt.

Hank worked fast, making sure all the cuts were taken care of before taking the bandages and putting them around Sheriffs mid section. He pulled them a little too tight for Sheriffs liking but the smaller man didn’t dare say anything. Once done Hank looked at his work, making sure nothing looked out of place or bad. When he was happy with it all he packed away the left over supplies, recapping the flask and putting away the clean cotton balls before grabbing the bloodied supplies to discard of them.

H: “You can close that now. I’ll get some food.” Sheriff quickly got to buttoning up his shirt again before halting his actions.

Sh: “Wait. Food? How did you get that? I mean...if medical supplies are so low HOW do you have food?”

Hank turned around, looking at Sheriff for a second or two, probably contemplating on if he could tell the other or not, before deciding that there was no danger to it.

H: “Your organization likes to raid peoples homes, right?”

Sh: “Don’t...don’t call them my...uhm… yeah I guess.”

H: “When you guys kidnap these people your underlings always take most of the med supplies in the house or apartment they raid but they never take the food. We just have to wait a bit and then there’s basically free food just sitting around.”

Sheriff nodded, that made sense.

He felt kind of bad now, hearing how careless the foot soldiers of the Nexus were truly being.

Sh: “Oh...okay.”

With that the other man left the room, leaving the Sheriff sitting at the table to ponder what he had been told.

About 10 minutes later Hank reentered the room with a plate and a glass. Sheriff was lost in thought, looking out the window again and holding his midriff while looking like he was having a conniption.

He flinched away when Hank placed down the plate and glass, looking up fast and wondering how someone so tall and big could be this silent.

Sh: “Th-thanks.”

Hank nodded.

Looking down Sheriff saw a piece of bread with a fried egg on top and a glass of water. His stomach reminded him that he hadn’t eaten in a while, not being able to stomach much while inside the Nexus headquarters.

He picked up the water first though, happy to have some liquid for his dry throat before turning his attention to the food. His first bite felt heavenly. The food was good.

Everything was gone in no time and Sheriff looked to his side to see Hank was watching him with a strange look on his face.

Sh: “Uhm..thank you. It was really good.”

H: “You looked like a starving dog eating that. Do they not feed you or what?”

Sheriff felt himself shrink a bit, his shoulders moving up to somewhat hide his face.

Sh: “We get food, yeah. Just...wasn’t hungry in a while so I never got any from the mess hall.”

Hanks eyes became slits at that, making Sheriff shrink in on himself even more.

H: “How long did you not eat for?”

Sheriff had to think about that for a second.

Sh: “About..two days plus yesterday..I think? I didn’t really think about it at the time. Just drank a lot of water and juice.”

Hanks eyes went wide at that.

H: “Three days?! Did nobody notice you not eating?!”

Sh: “Nobody cared.”

Hank felt himself tense, breathing out hard and giving a growl.

H: “Fucking hell those idiots are incompetent.” Sheriff felt himself smile but it was a bitter smile.

Sh: “Perfect for me then, isn’t it?”

Hank looked down at the other, self deprecating humor the last thing he thought would come from the other at a time like this. Sh: “Where do I put the plate?” H: “I’ll bring it to the kitchen.” Sh: “A kitchen?” H: “Yeah, normal apartments tend to have one of those.”

Sh: “Can I see?”

Hank looked at him for a long moment.

H:”The chain isn’t long enough.”

Sheriff sighed.

Sh: “That’s a no...fine. I get it.”

Hank sighed before grabbing the plate, leaving the glass with Sheriff. Sheriff looked back out the window, nothing else to do really getting lost in his own thoughts again but right as he was slowly turning off the world around him Hank suddenly put a hand on his shoulder.

Sh: “Wuah!”

H: “Calm down, it’s just me. I’ll need to get in contact with the others now so I brought you a book and something to write with. Just be quiet and don’t disturb me for the next few hours, okay? The chain is long enough to go to the bathroom or the hallway and the hallway closet if you need anything to clean if you want to. We haven’t used this hide out in a while so you might need that. Just be quiet, okay?” Sh: “Y-yeah, sure.” Sheriff held his chest as his heart was racing. Hank really did surprise him.

He felt the taller man hold onto his shoulder a little longer before leaving the room again, leaving him with the book and some paper and pens.

The call to his comrades took about 3 hours, explaining what happened, his situation now and what he had done or more specific, who he had taken along and why. 2B was skeptical and so was Sanford, with Deimos alone giving the benefit of the doubt. They couldn’t get to Hank any time soon sadly. He was rather far from their normal headquarters, too far into the city for them to not be noticed. Hank nodded, understanding their stance and started to make more plans with them.

Once everything was said and done he decided to go take a shower. Feeling refreshed after that he looked over to the door that lead to the room Sheriff was in. He had kept quiet alright. Maybe Hank should check up on the man.

Walking over he knocked on the door, halfway out of reflex after hearing 2Bs voice and halfway because he didn’t want to catch Sheriff off guard again. The man looked so pitiful when he got startled and it messed with Hanks head.

Hearing no answer from the other Hank opened the door to look inside the room. He found Sheriff sleeping at the table, his body hunched over some drawings and his hand still somewhat holding onto the pen he had been using. Hank felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth, being reminded of 2B or Deimos when they’d make plans for the team.

His curiosity somewhat peaked at what the other was drawing. Slowly walking up to the table and peeking over the others shoulder he saw a picture of the room Sheriff was staying in. It looked...good. Real good actually. Hank grabbed at the paper, waking Sheriff in the process.

Sh: “Hmh? Is your meeting already over?”

H: “Yah...you draw this?” Sh: “Yeah, already finished the book so I thought that that could keep me busy.”

Hanks eyes went wide at that.

H: “You already finished the book?”

Sh: “Yeah, I always was a fast reader. It’s one of the reasons I moved up the ranks so fast. I could remember about anything you gave me to read so the work I did was almost always good if it was just paperwork.”

H: “Huh. That...weirdly makes sense.”

Sheriff gave a half smile at that before turning to the table again, grabbing his glass to drink but finding it empty. Hank saw it and silently took it from him, going away and returning with a full glass and a plastic bottle with water in it.

H: “Here you go. This should make it easier.”

Sheriff looked up, his expression unreadable to Hank.

Sh: “Thank you. ....what is going to happen to me now?”

H: “Well, 2B wanted me to kill you right away before you cause trouble-”

Sheriff flinched at that. His heart beginning to pick up it’s pace he swallowed hard.

H: “But Deimos and Sanford mentioned that you could maybe help us out with some things so 2B let it slide and just told me to keep an eye on you.”

Sheriff sighed, releasing the breath he had been holding.

Sh: “Yeah sure, I can try.”

Hank gave him a funny look now.

H: “Just like that? I don’t even have to torture you?”

Sh: “Please no. I mean...what else can I even do? If I try to do something stupid you kill me. If I were to escape, Phobos will probably get me and then...I don’t really want to think about that possibility to be honest. And if I were to set you up you either die and I slowly starve to death or you get hurt and come back and kill me then. So...my best option...my only option really, is to help you guys to end this whole mess.”

Hank listened to the other man, noting how broken he truly sounded. Once the other stopped talking Hank thought about what he said. It was true, the best thing to do would be to help out and end this chaos. Still, Hank didn’t fully trust the man in front of him yet. He’d start asking questions he already knew the answers to for now before relying on the info he got.

“Okay, then lets talk a bit.”, Hank said, grabbing the other chair provided and sitting down opposite of the other.

For the next half hour they talked, Hank asking questions about menial stuff he knew already and Sheriff answering everything truthfully up until one question.

H: “What circuit do I need to short to get the east door to building deta to open?”

Sh: “...upper left in the control panel.”

Hanks eyes lit up for a second, knowing that the right answer would be the lower left panel.

H: “Wrong! That was a test.”

Sheriff looked at him confused for a second before he flinched back and brought his hands up to shield himself from Hank as he stood up slowly.

Sh: “NO WAIT! The plans for that building were updated after one of the techs found traces of a hacker in our system viewing the plans to the building! I told you the truth I SWEAR!”

Hank halted in his movement, cocking his head to one side.

H: “What?”

Sh: “We recently updated some of our plans as well as some codes and passwords after a hacker attack was detected. That was about 2 weeks ago. I got the new plans memorized the moment they were given to me. Please. What would I get out of lying to you?!”

Hank thought back to the time he watched 2B hack into one of the systems of a branch of the Nexus organizations. How long had it been since then?

Right, two weeks. Looking up at the others' face he looked for traces of guilt or manipulation but all he found was fear and uncertainty.

H: “What else was changed?!” Sh: “U-uhm...17 different passcodes, 3 door panels, 9 groupings of guards were updated on their weapons and the main door to Phobos quarters was reinforced so it could withstand weapons up to the strength of a grenade...w-why? Do you...believe me?”

Hank ran a hand over his face and head.

H: “Not sure yet, but if what you are saying is true it complicates things.” Sheriff looked down, looking somewhat defeated now.

Sh: “Oh..okay.”

H: “I’ll have to talk to the others again. Don’t try anything while I’m gone. We’ll talk again later.”

With that Hank walked out of the room leaving behind a scared and uncertain Sheriff.

Sheriff wanted to say something, to try and get Hank to believe him, but he knew better than to try, so all he did was look after the other with a dejected look on his face, a single “okay” leaving his mouth before the door to the room he was in was shut and he was alone once more.

[hale-13]

The Trouble with Tabloids

By Hale13 for @jenniboo311

“Oh look at this, this is a good one: ‘Some suggest that Parker’s powers include the male spider’s ability to hypnotize females.”

“Stop, c’mon,” Peter says back, slightly irritated at her teasing.

“Yes my Spider-Lord,” MJ says, dropping her voice in pitch and, against his will he starts chuckling. It makes him feel lighter and calmer and warm.

“Can we just like sit up here all day? It is so crazy down there.”

MJ hums and flicks over to the next page, still skimming. “I mean we could,” she says, neutral. “But would it really help anything?”

Or

MJ reads the Daily Bugle and Peter is an nervous mess about returning to school after his identity is reveled to the world.

Words: 5313, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandom: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Relationships: Peter Parker/Michelle Jones, Peter & May, Peter & Ned

Read on AO3 or below line break

“Does any part of you feel relieved about all this?” Michelle is curled up on her side, the half priced Christmas twinkle lights she picked up off a dusty shelf when they went thrift shopping a few months ago hung up haphazardly behind her. They make the edges of her hair glow red and throw strange and beautiful shadows across her face. Peter is almost too distracted looking at her to register her question.

“What do you mean?” His voice quiet and questioning. His living room is completely dark – his face lit only by his phone screen where he holds is just above his chest.

MJ’s face scrunches a little and she readjusts her head on the pillow, a few stray fractals of light bouncing off the broken black dahlia necklace and painting rainbows onto the wall and ceiling. “Now that everybody knows you don’t really have to hide or lie to people.”

Peter feels his hackles rise just a little at that comment but he’s too tired and burnt out to really be upset. He feels like he’s been fighting for years even though its only been a few weeks since Beck outed him to the world. His head pulsates with the starts of a headache and he just sighs. “For the record,” despite his desire to sound neutral his voice has a bit of an edge, “I never wanted to lie to you. But how do you tell someone that you’re Spider-Man?”

MJ hums noncommittally, it’s the sound she makes when she disagrees or has strong feelings about something in particular but doesn’t feel like arguing – he’s sure it will come up later and that her opinion will probably be correct. It makes him feel thankful and pissed simultaneously but he takes a deep breath and tries to let it go. Anger seems to be his default emotion these days. Anger and frustration and a dash of hopelessness. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” MJ asks, changing the subject abruptly and Peter settles a little more firmly into the ancient couch that May picked up from one of their neighbors. It groans under him.

“Sure,” he replies with a bit of a crooked smile that he can tell doesn’t reach his eyes – the little image in the bottom of his screen that shows his reflection makes him look pale and washed out and so so tired. No wonder May had been hovering so much recently. “I’ve always wanted to try and balance being a well known vigilante while going to high school.”

MJ chuckles and gives him a fond smile. The school year technically started a few weeks ago but Peter has been on unofficial home arrest while the NYPD and FBI and the freaking UN sorted out what to do with him. The unaltered footage from EDITH along with the character witness statements and testimonials from Happy and the newly returned to Earth Nick Fury (shape-shifting aliens what the fuck?) made it clear quickly that he was innocent but just opened the door for a whole host of other problems.

Like a large portion of conspiracy theorists still saying he killed Beck and that the government was covering it up. Or the fact that his address had gotten leaked and people had camped outside with signs or support or hatred and he and May had needed to move somewhere new. Or how Ned had been accosted by a crazy Fox News journalist on his way home from school one day.

That had made Peter see red and it was only May and Happy taking his web-shooters and phone and nearly restraining him that kept him from leaving to do something he would probably (maybe) regret later.

Jimmy Woo, the FBI agent over his case, had advised him to just lay low while the local and worldwide organizations hashed everything out. Peter was still too young to sign the Sokovia Accords but they couldn’t have him running around and ‘causing untold destruction’ in other countries. And, well, the NYPD still wasn’t his biggest fan when it came to the low-to-the-ground and neighborhood problems he liked to deal with.

As it was, he was now allowed to continue being Spider-Man in New York City but he would need special permission from local governments to act anywhere else. This suited Peter just fine; he would rather not leave home anytime soon after his last ‘vacation’ and Spider-Man was a Queens hero anyway. The clock on his phone ticked over to one in the morning just as his battery bar turned red.

“Hey,” Michelle said, pulling his attention back to her. She gave him a tired smile and pulled her blanket up higher on her shoulder. “We’ll be there with you the whole time.”

“I know,” Peter whispered, fingering the stitching of the t-shirt he had stolen from his girlfriend and was wearing. It still had just a bit of her scent that he could probably only pick up due to his enhanced senses and it made his chest feel a little full. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“You will,” MJ said, ending the call and leaving Peter alone. The shadows that stretched across the walls from his dim phone light looked foreboding and he stared at them until his screen went dim. He really should get up and go to bed. He should pack his book bag. He should definitely charge his phone.

Instead, Peter creeps to his room and shimmies into his suit, jumping out his window into the cool night. ———————————————

Peter crawled back through his window just before his alarm goes off at six, tired and sweaty and still freaking out a little but feeling marginally better now that some of his nervous energy was gone. May is sitting at their little kitchen table nursing a cup of coffee in her robe and looking just as exhausted as he feels. He can tell she knows that he’s been out all night but he’s thankful she chooses not to say anything as he makes his walk of shame to their cramped single bathroom to shower.

When he emerges about twenty minutes later with damp hair and layered up in his favorite flannel shirt and a plain white t-shirt May has brewed another pot of coffee and has a stack of toast and jam on the table and his heart clenches. Toast and jam has always been his go-to for mornings where his anxiety is at an all time high and his stomach is twisting and he wraps his arms around May’s shoulders from behind in a fierce hug and tucks his face into her neck like he’s a little kid again. May gives him a kiss on the temple and lets him soak in some comfort from her before she shoos him over to his seat to eat.

They both sit in silence; Peter munching on his toast and drinking black coffee full of sugar to perk him up and May nursing her own cup and staring at the wall. May’s knee bumps against his when she scoots a little closer and he can feel a little bit more of the tension leak out of him – as long as he still has her he’s okay. No matter what happens with school and Spider-Man and the Avengers he has May.

“I’m so proud of you,” May tells him a few minutes later as he’s chewing on his last piece of toast and Peter can feel the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes but he refuses to cry. He sniffs and coughs, choking on emotion and May scoots her chair over more to pull him into a hug and he just lets himself be held for a minute.

“I love you,” he tells her, leaning into the hug for just another second before pulling away. May smiles, her own eyes watery and she fidgets with his hair, smoothing out the wild curls and fixing his collar. He knows she hears everything else he’s trying to say: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t want this.

“I love you too,” she says; It’s okay, its not your fault. “I have the next week off so if you need me for anything – and I mean anything – I want you to call me okay? I’ll come get you.”

Peter nods even though he would never call her to come bail him out and goes to the sink to rinse his cup and brush the crumbs off his plate. “I know May and I will, I promise.” Liar. The knock at the door interrupts them and Peter glances at the clock; its later than he thought. May bites her lip like she’s waffling on saying more but relents and goes to answer it. He can hear her greeting MJ and Ned, can hear the brushing of clothes as she hugs them both and Peter takes just a moment for himself. He closes his eyes and takes a fortifying breath – in through his nose and out through his mouth – and straightens his spine, squares his shoulders.

He can do this.

And he’s does. He’s fine as he slinks out of his building (the first time leaving as Peter Parker since his arrest and meeting with multiple government organizations and moving) and down the steps to slide into Happy’s car with Ned and MJ on either side of him. Ned is wearing the ridiculous letterman jacket from Acadec that he spent way too much money on and MJ is wearing a dark blazer he’s never seen before but instantly loves. He would probably love everything she wore to be honest.

“Hey kid,” Happy says. He looks completely unruffled in his usual dark suit and tie but Peter can hear his heart beating faster than usual as he double and triple checks his mirrors before pulling away from the curb. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Peter says but his voice is all wrong and he clears his throat to try to get rid of the lump that’s formed there unsuccessfully. Michelle slips her hand in his and squeezes tightly and Ned presses their sides together in a quick moment of support on his other side.

Ned’s phone buzzes against Peter’s leg and he fishes it out, unlocking it and reading through the message before typing a short reply. “Flash is meeting us out front,” he says. And that, probably, had been the biggest surprise from this whole identity reveal mess but it probably shouldn’t have been. When they had come back from the blip, fifteen kids out of their class of forty-three, they had come to an understanding.

The apology and forgiveness had gone unsaid between them but, suddenly, Flash wasn’t as terrible to be around. There was still some ribbing and snarky commentary but nothing to the intensity of before. No more ‘Penis Parker’ no tripping him in the halls or pushing him into lockers like before.

If the Blip had done one thing it was reset everyone’s preconceived notions and priorities.

After Beck had released his heavily doctored video, Flash had practically beat down Ned’s door and asked how he could help. With his large Twitter, Instagram and TikTok following, he had been able to help get the word out about local protests and had been the person behind #NY❤️sSpidey and #PeterParkerisInnocent trending on twitter for multiple days.

Peter had uninstalled all social media from his phone weeks ago to protect his sanity and had basically only been texting May, MJ, Ned and Happy but he really appreciated the sentiment and had dropped in on Flash when he was in the park the other day as Spider-Man to say a quick ‘thank you’ as he patrolled. Flash had looked stunned and excited in equal measure but had offered a scoff and a fist bump that Peter gladly returned before swinging off.

“Well shit,” Happy muttered as he turned into Midtown drawing Peter out of his thoughts.

The school was a madhouse – news trucks were lining the perimeter, their cameras and newscasters being careful to not step onto school property and under close watch from the scattering of NYPD and SRO on the scene. That was fine, they had expected that.

What Peter had not expected, what no one had prepared for, was the literal mob of protestors with signs and banners and t-shirts screaming and chanting behind a series of guardrails that fringed the path up to the school. His classmates were walking up the path mostly unmolested and filming and taking pictures, some of them lingering around the front entrance or on the steps or surrounding lawn as they watched in fascination. A couple were enthusiastically talking to a cluster of cameras and reporters near the subway entrance.

“How did they know I was coming back to school today?” Peter asks, mouth and throat dry and making his voice croak.

“Someone must have slipped it,” MJ says, not sounding surprised. There had been a school wide assembly the Friday before where Principal Morita had announced Peter’s imminent return and had put some ground rules in place – don’t treat him like a zoo animal, no crowding the halls, no harassment – but Peter didn’t really expect anyone to listen. He’d had his own meeting with May and Morita via Zoom a couple weeks before to hammer out the details of his continued education at Midtown and his tardy and absence policy. The man has assured him that he would do everything he could to keep Peter’s school experience as normal as possible which had bolstered May’s confidence but Peter had known it was more of an empty promise than anything else.

“It’s fine Pete,” Ned said. “They can’t do anything to us.”

Happy met his eyes in the rear view mirror and raised a questioning brow and Peter gave a shake of his head. He wasn’t going to back out now, besides, the car had been spotted and multiple cameras were pointed in his direction and the mob was screaming and waving their signs even more aggressively now.

Happy pulled to a slow stop in front of the path and put the car in park. “I can have them removed if you want,” he offered. “Or find a back entrance? You don’t have to deal with them Pete.”

Peter looked at the crowd again and gnawed at his already ragged lip. “It’s okay. It’ll just make it worse if I try to avoid them.”

Happy muttered something about self-flagellation under his breath with a fond eye roll but didn’t fight him. “Just don’t say anything,” he advises. “Don’t look at them and don’t say anything. Just keep walking until you’re in the school okay? I’ll be here right at four-thirty to pick you up after decathlon.”

“Thanks Happy,” Peter says, trading seats with Michelle so that he’ll be the first to emerge from the car and tightening his backpack straps. He wishes he had his red and black suit with him instead of the Iron Spider in its housing units on his wrists – the weight, minuscule as it is, is always comforting on his back. He wishes he was wearing his mask. He wishes he could just be plain Peter Parker again. He takes a deep, fortifying breath and opens the door.

The angry roar of the crowd when they see him nearly deafens him and he fights the urge to cover his ears and protect his sensitive hearing. Flash materializes out of nowhere to stand staunchly at his side as MJ slips out of the car, clearly nervous but ignoring the mass of people and grabbing his hand. “Nice hair Eugene,” she teases as Ned joins them and closes the door. Flash rolls his eyes at her and pushes his shockingly blonde fringe out of his eyes.

“You wish you could pull this off,” he offers in response and her smile becomes more genuine at the ribbing.

“Maybe red,” she muses, adjusting her own bag on her shoulder before she starts to walk up the sidewalk.

The path is only wide enough for them to walk two by two and MJ pulls him closer and holds his hand tighter as they face the school. Peter tries to ignore the signs and screams as he walks resolutely toward the door but he can’t completely block them out, especially after seeing a blown up copy of his year book photo with devil horns calling him a murderer. The woman holding it, wearing a t-shirt with a similar message and a button with Mysterio’s helmet on it, spews even more vitriol when she sees him look her direction. Her face is red and angry and Peter redirects his attention back to the school.

His classmates crowd the stairs and most of them have their phones out to livestream him coming to school. He feels like a bug pinned under glass and he can feel his breath speed up in his chest but he tries not to show it. Ben had always told him that he was an open book and that anyone could read his every thought on his face. It had been funny back then but now Peter just wishes that it was anything but true.

It, unfortunately, doesn’t get any better inside. The halls are lined with curious teenagers and teachers alike who all watch him walk down the hall and film him and get way too close for comfort. Morita had told him that he can’t, technically, enforce the no phone rule before school officially starts for the day and after it ends so Peter will have to deal with it.

His locker is also, unfortunately, down a completely different hall than Ned, MJ and Flash’s so they have to separate if they plan on being on time for home room. He’ll meet Ned there but he won’t see the other two until second period and he has first period, APUSH, completely alone. It’s almost enough to send him over the edge.

“I can walk with you,” Ned offers, adjusting his bag but Peter just shakes his head. He can do this. He has to do this.

The heckling gets worse once the others leave and his classmates get bolder – pushing into his space and taking selfies with him and asking invasive questions. He’s never been popular and he’s always been ignored and its just getting to be too much but at least he understands why some celebrities go off the deep end and straight up punch paparazzi now.

He makes quick work of getting his locker open and stowing his extra notebooks and gym bag before hassling in the direction of his home room. Ned meets up with him halfway there, a little out of breath from clearly rushing to meet him and pushing through the crowd, and the groupies back off a little once he’s around and forming a barrier between them and Peter. Ms. Warren glances at them from her desk when they enter and her eyes linger on Peter a little longer than normal but she otherwise ignores them and Peter feels honestly faint in relief.

“Dude,” Ned tells him as he slips into the seat to Peter’s right at the scratched up black lab table. Peter groans and drops his head onto his crossed arms, not really knowing how to respond. “At least you have Dell for APUSH – he won’t put up with any shit in his class.”

“Yeah,” Peter responds. “Lucky.”

Ned winces and goes to say something else but the bell rings and the school morning newscast starts playing on the TV. Ms. Warren turns it up just as Betty Brant says “This morning our very own Midtown Avenger joined us back in classes. In case you missed it, Jason and I were live on the scene for his-,”

Peter crammed his headphones in and turned on the white noise to drown out the sound of the newscast and pointedly ignored Ned’s sympathetic looks and Ms. Warren who looked at his headphones in blatant disapproval but didn’t ask him to take them out. Thank God.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he peeked at the message coming through – a single eye rolling emoji from MJ followed by Must be a slow news day. He smiled despite himself and tucked the phone back away just as the bell rang.

His first class alone was a nightmare – Mr. Dell had assigned them all seats and had put Peter front and center in what was, probably, an effort to keep his classmates for hassling him too much and keep everyone’s attention on what he was teaching and not on Peter. It didn’t really work since people kept taking sneaky Snapchat pictures and videos of him under their desks when Mr. Dell’s back was turned. Peter set his jaw and tried to ignore it but he knew he would have to borrow Ned’s notes if he even hoped at passing the class.

His AP English class was a little better since he had both Ned and MJ with him but Mr. Harrington who was, arguably, his favorite teacher and one that had, apparently, really gone to bat for him against the PTO and school board so that he could keep his scholarship and go to school, was a little oblivious. His classmates were even more bold and blatant and he was clenching his jaw so much he thought his teeth might break.

“Come with me,” MJ said, pulling him out of his desk right as the bell rang and rushing out the door.

“Where are we going?” Peter asked, stumbling after her as she pulled him toward one of the stock rooms, pushing him in and closing and locking the door behind them.

“To the roof,” she answered, standing on an overturned bucket to open up the small window. Peter blinked in surprise.

“But you have art this hour.”

“And you have a free period,” MJ said like it was obvious, hopping off the bucket and herding him to the window. “Ms. Goode loves me anyway so she won’t care if I miss a class. Hurry up and get sticky.”

Peter let out a bark of a laugh and climbed up the wall, pulling Michelle through the window after him and carefully avoiding the classrooms and front of the building until they reached the roof. The sun was bright and warm on his skin and he laid on his back just reveling in the silence. “This is nice,” he said, catching the book MJ dropped before it hit his stomach without opening his eyes and positioning it behind his head as a pillow. She settled in next to him, rustling with some paper and he cracked open one eye to glance at her. “What is that?”

“The Daily Bugle,” she answered, flicking through a couple pages and skimming the words, ignoring as Peter choked on his own saliva and fell into a coughing fit.

“You’re actually reading that garbage? You know what they’re saying about me right? Jameson keeps calling me a ‘Spider-Menace like that even makes sense-.”

“It’s actually pretty hilarious,” she said interrupting his tirade and stopping her flicking to read through a page. “Oh look at this, this is a good one: ‘Some suggest that Parker’s powers include the male spider’s ability to hypnotize females.”

“Stop, c’mon,” Peter says back, slightly irritated at her teasing.

“Yes my Spider-Lord,” MJ says, dropping her voice in pitch and, against his will he starts chuckling. It makes him feel lighter and calmer and warm.

“Can we just like sit up here all day? It is so crazy down there.”

MJ hums and flicks over to the next page, still skimming. “I mean we could,” she says, neutral. “But would it really help anything?”

Peter sighs and flops over on his stomach to beat his head gently into the book. “Probably not.” His stomach growls and he sighs – at least lunch is next. MJ’s hand skims down his neck to sit in the small of his back.

“I can think of something that could take your mind off it,” she says lightly and Peter feels his cheeks heat just a little but rolls his head over to smirk at her.

“Do tell.”

She gives him a little smile of her own before poking him until he moves enough for her to perch on his lap. He curls block out the sun and she’s at just the perfect height for him to lean forward and pull her into kiss.

They slip back into the window of the stock room just before the bell rings to end third period with their lips swollen and their hair a little more messy than it was before but with bright smiles and less tense muscles. Peter keeps his ear to the door and waits for the hallway to clear before they slip out and make their way to the lunch room.

Both of them had brought lunch so it was easier to creep in unnoticed through the side door and join Ned and Flash in the back corner of the cafeteria. It didn’t take too long before their classmates started murmuring and pointing and, despite the numerous warnings from various administrators and the fact that five of the sophomore level teachers were seated at their own table near the front of the room, many of the students took notice of their sudden appearance and were attempting to take surreptitious pictures and videos of them on phones hidden under tables and halfway in hoodie pockets. Peter felt his ears turn red as he ducked his head closer to the table and nearly into his sandwich. MJ glared at the table closest to them and the few girls seated there at least had the decency to look ashamed though they didn’t tuck their phones away.

“So this is fun,” Flash muttered as he picked at the flavorless and congealed school spaghetti on his tray. His normal table of friends and groupies were seated a few tables away and looking at him with jealously. Awkward silence followed his deadpan grumbling and Peter shifted uncomfortably.

Michelle rolled her eyes and snorted indelicately before glancing at Peter with clear mischief in her eyes and slapping her copy of the Daily Bugle on the table before flipping it open to a page she had earmarked. Peter groaned and dropped his head to thunk on the table dramatically as MJ said “ Did you know that Peter can hypnotize females with his spider powers?”

Ned snorted so abruptly some of the water he was drinking dribbled out his nose causing him to cough and gag and Flash to thump him on the back. “Oh my God,” Ned said reverently, touching the gossip rag and cradling it like it was special as his eyes darted across the page. “This is the best thing I’ve ever seen. I need to get this framed!”

Peter whined and thumped his head on the table a few more times. “Yo Parker, this says you lay eggs,” Flash pointed out, skimming the edge of the page where a bullet pointed lists of ‘Fun Facts!’ were.

“I don’t lay eggs!” Peter groaned out in dismay, giving MJ his best betrayed look. She ignored his misery as she gleefully looked at the paper upside down to read the other inaccurate facts listed about him. “This is abuse,” he muttered, trying to pull the paper away from Ned but failing as his friend dodged and Flash batted his hands away.

“Does your ability to hypnotize only work on females? What exactly is the process?” Ned teased, voice shaking in mirth. “Wait! Wait what do you make them call you? Master of the Spiders? Arachnid King?”

“Spider Lord,” MJ provided with a shit-eating grin that had Flash and Ned sputtering with laughter and drawing even more attention their way.

“Oh come on,” Peter begged. “Don’t let anyone hear you or they’ll believe it!”

“Of course Spider Lord,” Flash intoned with barely concealed glee causing Ned and MJ to cackle more.

“You’re all the worst,” Peter told them without heat. To be honest this was the best he had felt all day – he hardly noticed the extra stares and muttering anymore. The bell announcing the end of their lunch rang and he hurried to cram the rest of his sandwich in his mouth as quickly as possible; they all had to hurry since they had gym and had to change before the tardy bell rang in ten minutes.

The heckling continued up until they split off to enter different locker rooms and Peter abruptly clenched his jaw as he realized the majority of his class was not only early to class to change but also waiting in the locker room and looking busy while they waited for him. Ned shot him a wince as he ducked into one of the stalls to change. Peter could feel the eyes following him as he did the same.

“Come on Parker,” he told himself as he took a few moments to center himself. “It’s just gym. You’ve done it a hundred times. This time’s no different.” He took as much time as possible to change, only sneaking out just before the bell rang and the majority of the room emptied.

MJ had saved them seats a bit away from the rest of the class and Peter squeezed between her and Ned, taking her hand and giving it a soft squeeze. Coach Wilson, looking particularly bored, was lugging a couple bags of foam balls from the locked equipment closet and Peter felt his stomach turn with dread. He detested dodgeball.

“You know the drill,” Coach Wilson drowned from the middle of the court. “Split in half, game starts on my whistle. Not you Parker,” he called over the din of talking and scuffing tennis shoes. “New PTA rules – you can watch and do individual work but no more team or contact sports.”

Peter felt his face flush again as he lowered himself back into his seat as the class broke out into louder conversations around him. Ned clapped him on the shoulder and said “Don’t worry about it man,” and Peter opened his mouth with the intent to thank or reassure his friend that he was okay but Ned, taking advantage and wearing a smirk, loudly went directly for the kill. “Besides, its unbecoming of a Spider Lord to comport himself like one of us mere plebes.”

Flash promptly tripped down the stairs and barely caught himself from falling on his face and breaking his nose on the floor, MJ had to sit back down to get herself under control as the rest of their class just stared at them with confused looks on their faces.

“I can’t believe you’ve done this,” Peter told Ned seriously causing his friends to break out into laughter again. If you can’t beat ‘em right?

“You’ve been an awfully good sport about this,” MJ told him later, leaning against a neighboring locker as he packed his bag and grabbed his decathlon binder. He shot her a questioning glance as he zipped up his bag. “The Spider Lord thing. It doesn’t actually bother you right? Because Ned already changed your name in the group chat and I’d hate to hurt his feelings by changing it again.”

“No its fine,” Peter reassured her. “It’s a little funny.” He slammed his locker shut and took her hand, “We’re going to be late Captain,” he told her, walking in the direction of the library. And maybe it didn’t bother him but it didn’t stop the wheels from turning. The attention rankled and he just wanted to go back to being Peter Parker again, to be completely anonymous.

He may know a guy who could help with that – it would only take a quick trip to Bleeker Street.

[whosaskingwrites]

Forget You (Kuroo x Reader)

A/N: This one is told entirely from Kuroos pov except for the very beginning. Because, Reader's pov wouldn't have been sad. As she doesn't remember him by the time they see eachother again. Edit: Y'all deadass let me not have the theme in here since the 24th. The theme has been added as of the 29th.

WARNINGS: None really? Angst Kuroo is a sad boy. Tooth rotting fluff from Bokuto i guess if that counts as a warning. Kuroo yells at you in the beginning.

Date: Saturday October 24th, 2020

Details: 5.5 pages 2,040 words

Theme: Stranger- when you get heartbroken you have the option of forgetting the person who caused the heart break as long as you say the word stranger with enough conviction while thinking about the person you want to forget.

Angst masterlist

“I can’t fucking stand you! Why are you so Goddamn annoying!” I took a step back as I looked at Kuroo “All I asked was to meet your friends! Since you talk about them all the time!” I yelled back. I didn’t know what had made him so mad we had been dating for six months having been roommates previously.

“And I told you no so why didn’t you accept that?” I shook my head “Actually you just started yelling at me-" “God see! You always have to be fucking right about everything!” I flinched as his voice raised more “You know what? Get the fuck out,” I looked up at him “w-what?” I voiced “Get your shit and get out I don’t wanna see you again. I’m breaking up with you,” My other roommate Kenma had finally come out of his room at that “Hey Kuroo-" I held up my hand to stop Kenma “No…its okay i-i'll leave but I’m leaving my stuff here until I have a new place. Kenma I leave it in your care,” my voice was shaky as I turned.

“Y/n…,” I shook my head at Kenma “I…I’ll see you later Kenma. Kuroo,” I turned a glare on him to see he was already glaring at me “I hope I never fucking see you again,” I turned on my heel leaving the apartment with heavy footsteps. It was sunset and my feet carried me to the trains I took a random one and let my feet carry me as I ended up at park. I had no idea where I was but I couldn’t find myself to care as I cried.

I wiped my tears slightly thinking about Kuroo and I knew then I didn’t want him to occupy my thoughts anymore. I looked at the sunset and focused before saying the word with as much conviction and venom as I could muster. “Stranger,” I blinked a few times and rubbed my eyes.

More tears leaked out of my eyes when I recalled my roommate Kenma had kicked me out of our apartment. “Where am I?” I whispered sighing as I realized my phone was dead.

“Excuse me…Are you okay?” I turned my head looking at a guy who stood next to the bench. He had what appeared to be silver and black hair his head tilted slightly to the side casting half his face in the dying sunlight. I vaguely noticed that his eyes were gold and seemed to glow despite no light being cast on them. “I…I think so?” I voiced as I looked back at him.

“You think so? Why are you crying in the park then?” He got closer and sat on the other side of the bench. “My roommate kicked me out of our apartment and my phone is dead so…,” I looked away as he hummed “Um…You could stay at my place,” I turned back to look at him with wide eyes. “I don’t even know your name and you’re asking me to stay at your place? Do you know that makes you sound like a serial killer?” He laughed suddenly eyes crinkling in mirth.

“Sorry I’ve been told I’m too nice by my teammates. Im Bokuto Koutarou,” He held out a hand giving me a smile. I took his hand and mirrored the smile “Y/n L/n. You’re on a sports team?” His smile widened suddenly and in his excitement he pulled me closer still holding onto my hand “Yeah! Volleyball I play for the MSBY Black Jackals,” he puffed his chest with a sense of pride causing me to laugh.

“Volleyball huh? Sounds like fun,” He nodded rapidly “It is! You should come to one of my games- ah sorry! I’ve been talking about me when you’re the one who’s sad,” I shook my head with a smile as he let go of my hands eyes wide in panic “Its okay. I’m not sad anymore but I think I will take you up on that offer as long as you promise not to hurt me,” I held up my pinky towards him giggling lightly.

He smiled widely hooking his pinky with my own “I promise. This will be the best adventure of your life,” I nodded at him “I’ll hold you too that Bokuto,” He chuckled at me

“Deal Y/n,”

Two years.

It had been two years since I’d seen the love of my life. I regretted it everyday since our argument and Kenma never made me feel better about it. “No she never talks about you or asks. And I don’t bring you up,” was the last thing he told me when I asked about her. I never meant to yell or kick her out and I’d never forgiven myself for it. She had blocked my number fairly quickly and Kenma never told me where she was.

“Hey Kuroo pay attention to the game,” Kenma voiced causing me to zone back in and stop thinking about Y/n. I sighed “Why are we even here?” I asked watching Bokuto preform a cross-shot that had the audience screaming. “Bokuto said he wanted to say something and he wanted all of us there,” I shrugged “He’s probably just gonna tell us that he’s got a spot on the Japanese Olympics team,” I sighed out while Kenma clicked his tounge. “Sure…,” I looked at him “Kenma do you know something I don’t?” Before he could answer the whistle blew announcing the Black Jackals as the winners of the match.

Kenma stood “Let’s go congratulate them,” I stood with him as he walked off “Hey you didn’t answer the question!” He kept a quick pace ahead of me while I followed. We stepped onto the court Kenma immediately going to Hinata I couldn’t see Bokuto but my eyes caught sight of a familiar face standing by the Miya twins. She laughed at something Atsumu said and laughed harder when Osamu added something that caused Atsumu to glare at him.

I gasped as I looked at her she looked just as beautiful as she did the last time I saw her. H/l h/c hair cascaded down her back her e/c eyes sparkled brightly like gems she wore a Black Jackals jersey and a pair of jeans both of which hugged her figure in just the right way. I let my feet carry me towards her knowing I needed to apologize. I didn’t know why she was here but Kenma probably invited her so I could see her.

“Y/n!” I called when I was close enough she turned her eyes meeting mine. I expected many emotions to pass her face in all the times I pictured seeing her again. Anger, sadness, happiness, etc. But confusion was never one that crossed my mind. “I’m sorry…Do I know you?” she asked causing my eyes to widen in shock. “No…You couldn’t have…,” I voiced quietly. She stared at me offering a slight smile but nowhere in her expression did I see any form of recognition. And I knew then she had forgotten me entirely.

I smiled back realizing I could start over with her “Sorry I’m Kuroo Tetsuro…You’re very beautiful,” her face turned pink slightly and the Miya twins laughed. Suddenly I saw familiarity light up her eyes and I smiled thinking she remembered me. “Oh! I know you! You’re the friend that Kou always wants me to meet! He gets so sad everytime you blow him off,” she frowned slightly at the end. Causing me to frown as I realized she really didn’t remember. But I also frowned at the name it was vaguely familiar though I couldn’t place where. “Kou?” I mumbled quietly to myself.

“Excuse me! Can I have everyone’s attention?” the gym quieted down everyone knew Bokuto was announcing something so most of the audience had stayed to listen. We all turned to the source of the voice and I noted that he looked beyond nervous for whatever he planned to say.

“I’d like for my beautiful girlfriend to come here,” The twins suddenly shoved Y/n forward causing her to stumble a bit but she walked forward anyway. I froze as the name connected in my mind on why its so familiar 'Kou…Koutarou' 'She calls me Kou and its so cute!' I saw her stop next to him and they smiled at each other “Oh fuck,” I whispered to myself as Kenma slid over. Bokuto was fidgeting slightly and rocking on the balls of his feet a telling sign that he was anxious.

“I’ve got something to say and I’ve thought about it for awhile,” he sent a reassuring smile at her when he noticed she looked nervous. He took a deep breath before continuing “Two years ago I found you crying in a park. I remember you told me that your roommate kicked you out and you called me a serial killer,” she turned red as he and others laughed.

I realized then that the day they met was the same day we broke up. “I took a leap of faith that day and told you that you could stay with me even though I had no reason to,” He chucked lightly at the pink dusting her cheeks “At the time I never would predicted that by the six month mark I would have fallen in love with you,” I frowned at the collective aw leaving the audiences mouths. 'That should be me' I thought as I watched the two of them.

“And after a year and a half I’ve decided that I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. I want to wake up with you next to me, I want to laugh at everything and nothing with you, I want to spend nights with you wrapped in my arms as we talk about whatever comes to mind,” a pink flush had taken over his face and from behind me I heard a sniffle.

“Tsumu are you crying?” I heard “Shut the fuck up Samu,” Kenma snorted next to me at the twins. “I want these things because I’m so completely and Irrevocably in love with you so…,” I watched Bokutos eyes flicker to Akaashi who nodded at him. He dropped to one knee and everything became a buzz as I zoned in on Y/n the audience gasping was barely audible to me as I watched her cover her mouth with her hand her eyes were bright and glassy and every fiber of my being screamed at me to stop this. ‘Get her back! Stop him!’ my mind screamed. I couldn’t move though I was frozen on the spot feeling like id just been doused with freezing cold water.

“Will you do me the honor of continuing this adventure and marry me?” I could hear Bokuto but it sounded so distant to me. ‘No! Say no!’ My mind screamed louder but I felt my heart crack as she nodded in response. He got back up to wrap his arms around her picking her up he spun her around a few times and buried his face in the crook of her neck pressing light kisses to her shoulder.

‘Get away from her!’ I shook my head as I watched him slip a silver band on her finger. I caught sight of the f/c gem attached to it. It was surrounded by small yellow gems that matched Bokuto's eyes. He kissed her cheek as everyone cheered and congratulated them. She pulled back pulling out a small envelope and pressing it into his hands. He looked at her and opened it before his eyes lit up even more. He whispered something to her to which she nodded at. His excitement couldn’t be contained as he picked her up again “I’m gonna be a dad!” He didn’t need the mic this time plenty loud enough without it but it reignited the audience’s excitement as they screamed again.

He placed her down wrapping an arm around her waist and finally I watched my entire world shatter and heart crumble as the love of my life kissed her fiancé and father of her children.

‘That should have been me'

————————————————————————

TAGLIST: @wonhomarshmallow

[abluescarfonwaston]

“Damnit Lambert!” He coughed violently. Rolling over to curl in on himself. “Why didn’t you warn me you had a bad batch of tawny owl?”

He wrapped the cut on his leg. Scrapping guts off his armor. “What are you on about. It was fine.” He wanted to roll up into a ball too but the cramping was only going to get worse and they still had to get a trophy off the damn thing.

“This,” Aiden groaned pathetically. “Is not fine.

“This is what fucking tawny owl does Aiden!” The pain making him snappish. “It helps and then it wears off and you want to claw out your guts. That’s how it fucking works cause this life is a goddamn nightmare!” He stabbed between the vertebrae hard and severed its head quickly.

“Fuck what?” Aiden rolled over. Sounding extra pathetic about it which just pissed him off more honestly. “Who taught you how to make potions Lambert? Cause I need to stab them.”

 He spun on him. Knife to his throat. “Don’t ever fucking threaten them Cat.”

Aiden watched him. His slow heart beating faster than Aiden’s. The stench of the corpse filling their noses. The potion curdling their guts. “Sorry.”

He hated that. How earnestly he apologized. He sat back against a rock. Stared at the things leathery skin. “Vesemir taught us.” Aiden waited. Or maybe he just couldn’t think of a response over the pain. “He was a fencing instructor. He taught us what he remembered but. It’d been a long time since he learned.”

“Lambert?” He groaned. “If this is what all your potions are like then destroying that bag would be an act of love for you and self-defense on my part.”

“They’re not. All this bad.” He defended but honestly some of them were far worse. “Swallow’s decent.”

“Lambert?” He grunted. “You’re a great fighter. But we are never using your potions again.”

He took a sip of the freshly made Petri’s Philter. To test it out. He’d made it like Aiden had shown him but it was the first time he’d done it himself.

“You cheater! Taking a potion before we spar!” Eskel cuffed him.

“I was checking if it came out right.” An idea popped into his head. “You can use one too. Petri’s Philter. See whose works better.”

“Not a fair comparison.” Geralt pointed out. “Eskels better at signs than the rest of us.”

“What are you scared?”

Eskel eyed him unimpressed but went to grab his. Took a swig. “How do we want to do this?”

“Who can toss Geralt the furthest?” He suggested ruefully.

Geralt’s protests when unheard as Eskel launched him into the base of a snowbank with Aard.

He glared at them. Covered in snow.

“Come on Geralt! It doesn’t count if we use a different person the second time.”

“I’m going to throw both you in the river.”

“Just the loser.” Eskel argued.

“Then I don’t get to throw you in.” He grumbled crossing the courtyard to them.

“Nah I’m willing to take that bet.” They both looked at him like he was being daft.

He adjusted his glove. Don’t fail me now Aiden. Launched Geralt into the air.

He landed with an oft and a puff of white snow. Halfway up the snowbank.

He grinned as they sputtered.

“Guess it works.”

“How’d you learn this Lambert?” Vesemir asked as he copied down the last recipe Aiden had had the chance to teach him.

“Found a cache with the information.” The cache was another witcher but he wasn’t going to tell them that.

“Right.” He felt Vesemir watching him. Not believing him.

He dug his heels in. He didn’t owe the old man answers. Didn’t breathe a word as a cold wind whipped through the giant hole in the wall. He wondered if the Cats had caused that one. He didn’t ask but he wondered.

“Aiden what did you use in this necrophage oil?” He sniffed the vial walking over to him.

He perked up from his disappointment over how many less necrophages he’d killed to tell him.

He laughed full bodied and loud. Aiden wasn’t smiling when he finally managed to stop, wiping a tear from his eye.

“I thought you were just shit at fighting but that’s garbage. What’s it supposed to do? Make them itchy? Impotent? Hurt their feelings?”

“Well how do you make them then?”

Next spring he wondered how many Cats were using Vesemir’s recipes.

“Damnit.” He cursed. Shoving the broken arm piece back together. Trying to sow the gash closed.

Aiden watched him from across the fire. Lazily rotating the fish they’d bombed from the water. “You really need to just replace that mutt.”

“Fuck off pussy I don’t have the diagrams on me and were nowhere near anyone who knows how to make it.”

“Well no one’s going to be able to figure out what it was supposed to look like from that.”

He stared at the mangled and ruined armor in his hands. His fingers dug in and the thread he’d used on it snapped. It fell back apart.

He tossed it away with a frustrated scream and ran. Ran until his lungs burned and his feet ached and the exhaustion finally over powered the anger.

Aiden was asleep in his bedroll. His fish still waiting for him- although they had long gone cold. He chewed the small bones not bothering to pick them out.

A small set of papers sat rolled next to it.

He unrolled it.

Kicked Aiden.

“I can’t fucking wear this!” He shoved the diagram back to him.

“It’d be just until you could get new armor. You can’t work in a shirt and pants.”

“Cause Cat armor is a huge step up from that!”

Aiden scowled at him. “Oh cause people thinking for half a second you might be a Cat is worth dying over. Just show off your medallion and bark at them. I’m sure they’ll figure it out.”

“You’re fucking right it is!” He grabbed his medallion and bared his teeth. “I’m not a Cat.”

They had murdered his school. Killed so many. Destroyed the closest thing he had to a home. It was a shitty home and he hated it. Some days he wished they’d finished the job. Some days he was glad he had a home at all.

Aiden face shuttered closed. “Well we can’t all be Wolves Lambert.”

In the morning he was long gone. The diagrams laying in the morning dew.

He picked them up.

However upset they’d be at him for wearing them wouldn’t match how upset they’d be if he didn’t come home. Probably.

He found a leatherworker and had a set made.

“What are you wearing?” Eskel blocked his entry. “I almost shot you Lambert.”

“Glad you didn’t.” He shoved him out of the way. “I’m tired. Piss off.”

He grabbed him. “If Vesemir sees you wearing that-“

“It was this or go without armor so Fuck Off Eskel.”

Eskel studied him. Let go. “Let me warn the others at least. You know that,” He motioned to the armor. “Is going to bring back bad memories.”

“Would you preferred I died out there?”

He raised his hands placating. “Didn’t say that. Happy you’re home.”

“Yeah well that makes one of us.”

No one asked about the armor. They left a set of wolf armor diagrams for him outside his door and he spent the winter in clothing and furs.

No one why he had cat armor. He didn’t offer to explain. He wouldn’t have answered if they did. Would have made it very clear it wasn’t a topic for discussion.

But no one asked.

He sat in his room and stared at it. It looked so similar to Aiden’s. Which of course it did.

We can’t all be wolves Lambert.

No. But why you have to be a cat? Anything else would have been fine.

He gasped short and quick and barely breathing at all. His eyes losing focus. Pinned to the tree by the dead monster’s antlers.

What a shitty way to go.

“Wooh. Glad I came. Thought I smelled wet dog.”

He raised his head. Vision spinning as he did.

A cat. His cat. Aiden.

The world went dark.

“Look who returns!” The fire popped as he opened his eyes. “Holding up alright?”

“Love questions like that.” He whispered as Aiden lifted his head and raised a potion to his lips. “Holding up? Holding up what? My dick?”

“Well you certainly are one so I wouldn’t put it past you.” The vial moved away. His head was lowered onto Aiden’s thigh.

“This is shit and you know it.”

“Yeah. It is.” Aiden craned his neck upward at the stars. “I was really looking forward to yelling at you.”

“Do it you pussy.”

“It’s no fun if your injured bitch.”

“What think I can’t take it?”

“Take what? My dick?” He chewed something loudly. “Come on. Even a lone hunter can use a helping hand some time.”

“Don’t quote Vesemir at me you prick.”

“Oh I’m a prick now? What an upgrade.” A different flask came back and he drank greedily. “And I wasn’t. Guxart said that.”

“Sounds like a dick.”

“No. I like dicks Lambert. He was pussy.”

He chuckled. Which hurt. It pulled at his wounds.

“Did you know it was me?”

“Knew it was a wolf.” He dropped some of the jerky on his chest. He nibbled on it. “Hoped it was you.”

“Would you have helped? If it wasn’t.”

He was quiet while he considered. If he weren’t so tired it would piss him off. “Yeah. I would have.” He believed him. Because it was Aiden. “Glad it was you though.”

“Why?”

“Cause I missed my mangy mutt. Who else is going to teach me how to fish with bombs?”

“I started building a boat. So I could do it on the lake.” He was starting to feel hazy. Aiden’s potions sometimes had painkillers going for them. Which was nice. “At Kaer Morhen.”

“Bet it’s going to leak like a drunkard.”

“Yeah. Bet it will.” He thought of the lake and keep. “I hate that place.”

“Can’t say I understand why you go back.”

“Why do you go back?”

“Go back where? At best the cats have a traveling caravan of misery these days. I don’t visit.”

“What? But winter sucks.”

“Not going to argue with that.”

He had a brilliant idea. “Come home with me. We can sink my boat together.”

Aiden looked down at him. So sadly. He reached up for him in confusion.

“They’re assholes but the keeps pretty big so we can just avoid them. We can sleep in my room. I’ve got a lot of nice furs. It’s pretty. Please?”

“Sure Lambert. Sure.” He cupped the hand that had found his cheek. Kissed it. “Don’t worry. I won’t hold that against you in the morning.”

“If you were there maybe I could breathe. Cause.” It was really hard to keep his eyes open. His hand was heavy in Aiden’s. “The one good thing this life gave me. Was there.”

“Love you Lambert. Love you too.”

“I asked you to come with me.” He said weeks later.

“I surprised you remember. You were pretty loopy at that point. Do you remember explaining why pigeons were the best bird too? Cause that was pretty funny.”

“You’re lying.”

“You wish I was.”

He scowled at him. “I don’t remember your answer.”

“I said I wouldn’t hold you to it in the morning obviously. I’m not stupid.”

“Oh.” The horses crunched gravel as they continued on. “I did mean it. I want you to come.”

Aiden kept his eyes ahead. “We both know that doesn’t matter.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His horse picked up speed at his unintentional request. He tugged him in front of Aiden’s, halting him. “What I want doesn’t matter?”

“When has what we wanted ever mattered Lambert?” He flinched. Eyes stuck on Aiden’s reins.  “It was very sweet of you. But the other wolves would kill me for being in twenty miles of Kaer Morhen and we both know it.”

He couldn’t look away from his dark scarred hands. “Why’d you have to be a cat?”

“Why’d you have to be a wolf?” He moved his horse so they were side by side. Took his hand. “We get three out of four seasons together. That’s pretty damn good.”

“I want more. I want more than this life.”

“Hey. Maybe if you build good enough boats we can.” His hand squeezed. “We could be the first. Retire on some big lake and fish with bombs.”

“With a little house infested with mice because we can’t convince any cats to come within ten feet of us?” He into his golden eyes and for the first time could understand why people called them beautiful.

“With a tiny little house with a leaking roof that you always curse at.”

“We’re never going to get that are we?” He didn’t comment on the tears in Aidens eyes or the blur in his own.

“No.” Aiden squeezed his hand. “But it’s a nice dream isn’t it?”

“It’s awful. Why did you make the roof leak?”

“Why did you fill it with mice?”

“Cause I want it to be real.”

“So do I.”

They clicked their horses forward. Not letting go.

“So this house. Smells like rat shit huh?”

“Yeah. And our clothing gets all mildewy cause we just throw it in the lake to wash it and forget to hang it up.”

“Ugh. I hate that.”

“Yeah it’s awful.”

“But it’s ours?”

“It’s ours.”

“I had a friend. Aiden was his name.”

“Gonna retire to your vineyard wolf?”

“I might.”

“Good for you. Make sure Dandelion writes a song about your beer gut.”

“Lambert-“

“Pardon my interruption gentlemen.” Majordomo stepped into the room. “A gentleman just arrived looking for Master Lambert. It seems urgent.”

“Lambert?” Geralt shot him a confused look.

“Hey don’t look at me! I don’t know!”

“Let’s go met your guest.”

They pushed the door open and he looked to the left. Geralt to the right.

“Who are you?” Geralt asked. He turned to the newcomer.

He exhaled. “Aiden.” When he inhaled it was like coming up for air for the first time in months.

Scarred. Hair long. Covering one eye.

Alive.

“Hey Lambert. Been a while.”

“You fucking heartless asshole!” He yelled as he lifted him off the ground in a crushing embrace. “How fucking dare you.”

“Missed you too bitch.” As he attempted to break his ribs with the force of his hug. “Nice place you got here.”

“It’s Geralt’s and it sucks.”

“Yeah.” He mumbled into his ear. Not letting go. “Our place is gonna be way nicer.”

“With rat shit and everything.”

“Yeah.”

[wiypt-writes]

Riding High

Ch9: I Must Be Doing Something Right

Chapter Summary: When you try to do the best thing, it never works out the way you plan does it?

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words, and a game of Cards Against Humanity, which is really fucking offensive so if you are easily offended, suggest you steer clear!

Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: Contains SPOILERS for the film!!!!! If you haven’t seen it please be aware of that before you read on. This is a REALLY long chapter but there was SO much to cram in!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding High Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 8

Seven days was all it took.

Frank met the Foster Family on Sunday after Cullen had tabled the suggestion and agreed to the proposal that evening, ignoring Fliss and Roberta’s pleas to think about it for a few days at least. He didn’t want time to think, he was NOT going to surrender Mary to Evelyn, and if that meant she had to live with this nice family, in a posh house in Tampa, with a pool and a piano, then so be it.

The details were thrashed out between all attorneys and the state departments on the Monday and Tuesday, being finalised on the Thursday. Both Frank and his mother were given weekly visiting rights and once a month Mary was to come stay with him for a weekend, with longer visits to be agreed and settled with her foster parents as convenient during the holidays. When Frank was offered his choice of date to surrender Mary into care he chose the following Monday. Greg gave a little start and asked him if he wanted more time, convinced he could get Frank at least a fortnight, but he refused. The longer this dragged out the worst it was gonna be, just like pulling of a band aid.

Better to rip it fast and suffer a short, period of pain.

His mother had been unable to resist one last shot as she left him on the steps of the court building and her words were rattling around in his head as he stood watching Mary with Fliss as she hugged the woman tightly.

“I've been thinking a lot about the word called ‘compromise’. On one hand, good challenging school…on the other foster people. They can watch sitcoms with her. Take her to Olive Garden. Teach her to say ‘irregardless’ The only saving grace is, I suppose, is that she is better off than she was.”

He was clinging onto that thought. That Mary would be better off with this family than with his mother. And probably him if he was honest and he hoped Mary would in time, understand that too. At the moment she was still in denial, insisting that Frank was going to change his mind. He had told her time and time again this was a court decision, not his. Greg had explained it to her, the foster parents had explained it to when she had met them during the week, hell, Fliss had even explained it to her but nope, she wasn’t having it. Even before when he told her to go and say ‘see you later’ to Roberta, not goodbye- because it wasn’t goodbye- Mary had laughed and told the woman this entire thing was stupid and that she would be back with Frank later that evening.

And she was doing the same to Fliss now.

“You’ll be back for a visit before you know it.” Fliss brushed Mary’s hair off her face, blinking back her tears as she knelt in front of the girl. “And Monty will be waiting for you.” Mary shook her head “Look, we all know this is ridiculous, Frank isn’t gonna leave me there. He promised I wasn’t going anywhere and he’s never broken a promise to me yet.” “And he still hasn’t.” Fliss shook her head. “This is a court order, not Frank’s. Now you promise me that when you get there you show all these new people you’re gonna meet what a wonderfully funny, smart and incredible person you are. And then, when you come back I want you to tell me all about it.”

Mary shrugged “I’ll see you at the weekend I expect.” With that she moved back and looked at Frank like he was an utter idiot before she headed for the car.

Fliss stood up and wiped her eyes.“You gonna be okay?”

“No.” he shook his head. “Nothing about this is okay. At all. When she finally realises this isn’t some huge big joke or that I’m not gonna change my mind, she’s gonna flip.”

She stepped forwards to give him a hug, but he kept it brief, knowing that if he stayed he’d break. And he couldn’t. Not yet.

Fliss watched them drive away, before she turned back to her office, shut the door and curled up on the chair, arms hugging her knees as the tears coursed down her face.

***** Frank could see the moment that it finally began to sink in with Mary that this was all, very real. And he watched her heart break as she stood there, in the hall of her new foster home, begging him not to leave her.

Frank sighed, bowing his head. “You're going to a brand new school. A better school.”

“I don't want to. I want my crummy school.” Mary sobbed.

“And you got Fred…” Frank carried on, fighting back his own tears.

“Please.”

“And once a month you can come back and stay with me and Fliss and Roberta…”

“I want you and Fliss and Roberta now!”

“And in a few years, if you want, you can come back. You can live with me.” he looked at her, smiling encouragingly.

“I wanna stay with you. Frank, you promised me.” Mary stomped her foot, angry tears pouring down her face.

“Come on. Don't do this.” Frank sighed softly, rubbing the tops of her arms and shoulders.

“You promised me.”

“I know.” he bowed his head blinking back tears. He had, and he’d broken that promise. And he felt like shit. “I know.” he repeated lamely, his left hand gently resting on the side of her face, brushing away her tears.

“Please, Frank. Why are you leaving me?” she sobbed as he took her face in both his hands and looked at her.

“Because the court said I have to. You know this. We've discussed this ad naus...” he stopped himself and looked down, swallowing thickly. “We've discussed this.” he looked at her, taking a deep breath.“Come on. Come on. Please.” he said, gently moving to sweep her into a hug but she shoved him hard.

“No!”

Frank could do nothing but kneel there as she hit him again in his chest, then once on the side of his face, screaming at him. At that point her foster mother stepped forward and Mary continued to lash out, screaming at Frank.

“Sweetheart, you know what?” The woman began to talk to Mary as her foster Father looked down at Frank sympathetically.

“There's no easy way to do this.” he said. At that Frank jumped up and walked to the door.

“It’s not gonna be as long as you think, honey.” her foster mother was soothing her, but Mary was having none of it.

“Frank!”

“You're gonna see.”

“Frank!” Frank opened the door and paused, looking back as Mary was fighting against her foster mother who was gently holding her arms, screaming at him “Don't leave me!”

And that was the moment his heart broke into a million pieces. He had to go, he had to get out of there. He quickly stepped through the door and pulled it closed behind him, heading quickly for his truck, trying to block her screams and yells out as they still hit his ear from inside the house.

“Don't go! I need you! Fred needs you! You promised me!”

Sniffing back his tears he climbed into the truck, started it up, and then sat, both hands on the steering wheel, head bowed for a moment whilst he composed himself, before he put the truck in gear and drove off, leaving Mary behind.

**** Fliss had half expected Frank to show up at the yard again later that day, but he didn’t. Instead he messaged her telling her he needed some head space so was heading down to the Marina to do some work. Which was where she found him later that evening, working on the same boat he had been on all week.

“Hey, down there.” she said gently as she climbed the ladders up the side of the boat “The Serenity” Frank looked up at her, gave her a faint smile, before he turned back to what he was doing as Fliss stepped onto the deck of the boat, watching him carefully.

“I don't know which mistake is worst. Designing a water pump that leaks or putting it somewhere no human being can reach” he ranted as he leaned further into the uncovered pump. As Fliss took a seat on one of the raised benches at the back of the boat he stood up, the offending part in his hand and sighed “How you design something you know is gonna fail? Gotta be devious or clueless, right?”

He dropped what he had been reaching for onto the table in front of him and glanced at Fliss who was sat watching him, her hands pressed between the knees of her denim-short clad legs as she shot him another small smile. He picked up a small wrench and returned to his previous position, crouching over the machinery of the boat.

“After the first few weeks, I knew I had to find a real family for her. I was in way over my head.” he reached for a bolt that was in the box he had resting on the side and continued his work. “And every day I'd say today's the day I'm taking her to child services and every day she'd do something just…” he paused, his hands still working as a soft, yet heartbreakingly sad smile flickered across his face. “…so unbelievably cool.” He swallowed, still not looking at Fliss. “Her little personality was exploding. She was funny and she was angry, and she was happy, and she was sad and was cute.” He reached for something else, his voice groaning slightly with the strain of stretching. “Just so damn entertaining. And so I kept her.” His voice started to rise in tone, revealing the anger he felt at himself. “Not that that's in her best interest. Not that I'm capable of raising a child.”

“Frank that’s not true.”  Fliss spoke softly, butting in but he continued his rant.

“A child that might still have a mother if I'd taken the time to notice she needed me.”

“Ok, now stop it.” Fliss’ voice was a little sterner now “Frank, we’ve been through this.”

“And now,” he stood up, reaching for a towel to wipe the oil off his hands, “six and a half years later I finally got her to a foster family and you know what? It was great.” He said sarcastically. “She loved it.” He tossed the towel onto the side. “I thought it would be a nightmare of abandonment and betrayal.” He hopped up onto the level of the boat Fliss was sat on and threw his hands out to the side “And it turns out it was a huge success.” With that he bent back down to pick up the broken part he had retrieved from the pump, tossing it slightly in his hand. “I'm a fuckin’ hero.” He angrily launched the part out of the side of the boat where it hit something with a crash.

“Hey.” Fliss stood up and moved to gently run her hand down his arm. He was dirty, sweaty, covered in grease and he was conscious of this so went to pull away but she stopped him, her grip firm before she moved her hands to his face, her palms gently pressing against the scratch of his beard, sweat beading on his brow as he looked at her.  “Listen to me.” Her eyes locked onto his “Mary will be ok. It’s gonna take time but-”

“You didn’t see her.”  He said, stepping back out of her touch, his hand flying to his hair “She fucking hates me. She was screaming and I just left her.” He finished, somewhat lamely. “After I promised her, I promised her she could stay with me.”

With that he went the side of the boat, and hopped onto the ladder at the side.

“Frank.” Fliss moved to follow but he shook his head.

“No, Lissy,” he trailed off, holding his hand up. He sighed and took a deep breath. “I appreciate everything you've done. Just...” he shook his head again and continued own the steps.

Fliss watched him go where he headed back into the little workshop area, swallowing slightly. She looked up at the starry sky and took a deep breath, blinking back her tears. She knew she shouldn’t take it personally. He was hurting and needed time. She licked her lips before she climbed off the boat and turned in the opposite direction he’d gone, deciding to take the long route around to her car so as not to pass him again.

Frank walked into his workshop area and launched an angry kick at a box of engine propellers scattering them all over the floor. He stood up, both hands on his hips as he took a deep breath and turned half expecting Fliss to be behind him. But she wasn’t. With a sigh he made to go back outside and apologise but when he looked up she wasn’t on the boat anymore.

“Fuck.” He cursed, turning to look to his right where he saw her walking a hundred yards or so away down the side of the marina.

“Liss!” He called, and she stopped, turning towards him as he set off towards her in a jog. “Lissy, I’m sorry.” He stopped in front of her, shaking his head.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” she replied “I understand.”

“No there is. You came her to check on me and,” he took a deep breath, “believe me, if there’s one person in all of this that I have no right to be mad around it’s you. I didn’t mean to snap.”

“I get it, honestly I do.” she smiled gently, stepping towards him and rubbing his arm. “Today must have been so hard, I can’t imagine how you felt.” He fell silent. “But I meant what I said Frank, none of this is your fault.”

“I should never have let her go to that school.” His azure blue eyes misted over again, and he looked down at his feet, shaking his head. “Shoulda, woulda coulda.” Fliss shrugged as he pulled his head back up to look at her. “You can’t keep beating yourself up about things you can’t change, trust me, I know.”

Frank sniffed slightly before she sighed and carried on

“It’s done, Mary is with a good family, she’s going to get a good education and, yeah, it might take a while but she’ll come round and soon realise that you did what you did, not because you didn’t want her, but because you wanted what was best for her.” “I hope you’re right.” His voice cracked as Fliss stepped forward and pulled him back into her arms “I love her Fliss, and I don’t know what I’m gonna do if she won’t forgive me.”

*****

Fliss was worried Frank was going to go off the rails, but he didn’t. He simply threw himself into his work, ever night and day he was at the boat yard. They talked daily and she invited him to dinner on Friday, in an attempt to keep him away from Ferg’s for fear of him getting himself absolutely trashed and doing something stupid like picking a fight. She hadn’t expected him to accept, however, so was pleasantly surprised when he took her up on her offer.

He was a little more subdued than normal, but they talked over the bolognese she had made and then Bill had popped his head in and invited them through to the house for a few drinks and a game of Cards Against Humanity.

Frank’s face twisted into a grin. “You know I’ve never played it before.”

“You’re kidding?” Bill looked at him.

“Oh Frankie, it’s great fun.” Fliss grinned. “You get to learn a lot about people, and how twisted and sick their minds actually are.”

“Verity is the worst.” Bill said, seriously “I been with her now for almost thirty-one years, married to her for…” “Twenty-Eight.” Fliss supplied.

“Twenty-Eight, thanks Titch, and I had no idea how warped she was until we played this a few years ago.”

Frank chuckled and Fliss looked at him and he shrugged, “Not like I got anything else to do so, sure, I’m in.”

Fliss nodded and together they made their way out of the annex and over to the main house. Frank had been in here once before and, despite the fact that it was ridiculous large and fancy, he felt at home. Verity greeted her with the usual warmth, wrapping him up in a motherly hug as she looked at him and scalded him for losing weight. He sighed, he knew he hadn’t been eating properly but he didn’t look that different.

“Leave the lad alone.” Bill looked at his wife, thrusting a chilled San Miguel into Frank’s hand. “He’s come here to relax not have you nagging on at him.”

Verity rolled her eyes and began to quibble with her husband whilst Fliss shook her head, grinning at Frank before she led him through to the dining room where the cards were placed in the middle of the table.

It didn’t take long for Frank to get the hang of the game, and it also didn’t take him long to realise Bill was right. Verity had an extremely warped sense of humour, that said, so did Fliss, and the more alcohol she consumed, the worse it got. He declined another beer from Bill, stating that he had to head home, but Fliss frowned at him.

“Take the spare room.” she offered, but he shook his head.

“I’m working tomorrow, got a few things to finish so…”

She didn’t push it, and that was another thing Frank loved about her. The fact that she would take no for an answer without questioning him.

“Ok…so…” Frank leaned over, taking the cards that were face down, shuffling them so he didn’t know whose were whose “Do not fuck with me I am literally what right now.” He turned the top card over and gave a snort. “Seeing things from Hitler’s perspective,” then he turned the next card and arched an eyebrow, “dying…oh god that’s bad…” and the final one, “pretending to care…it’s gotta be the Hitler one!”

“Yes!” Fliss grinned as she took the card from him. “Catching you up mum.” After a few more rounds which contained winning combinations such as “This is your Captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for- September 11th, 2001, “ and “”In the beginning there was- the mixing of the races- and then the Lord said ‘Let there be- Nazis,’” the cards were finished and they all counted. Bill was bottom, Fliss and Frank had tied, and Verity was the runaway winner. After a little more chat they called it a night and Frank walked back to the annex and his truck with Fliss.

“Thank you.” He turned to her “Not just for tonight, which was real fun but…”

Fliss smiled and gave him a hug. “Any time, Sailor.”

He dropped a kiss to her cheek. “Ya know, I’ll hold you to that.”

He gave her a cheeky grin as he got in his truck and Fliss watched him go, pleased to see that for the first time since Mary had left that Monday, he seemed to be getting some of that Frank spark back.

*****

Frank parked the truck and grabbed the wrapped box of lego, the ping pong balls for Fred and the next Harry Potter book in the series (the third one) from Fliss off the passenger seat and headed up the steps. He knocked politely on the door and smiled as Kevin looked through the glass window to the left

“Hey.” He smiled as Kevin opened the door

“Hi, Frank. We're errr…” Kevin stepped outside and closed the door “… having a little bit of a problem in there.”

“What?”

“Mary's fine but she's having a little bit of a meltdown.”

“Right.” Frank sighed, nodding “Let me talk to her.” He made to enter the house but Kevin stopped him

“No, hang on. That's not a good idea.” He said gently as Frank looked at him, a slight frown on his face “Your visit here is the reason for the meltdown.”

“What?” Frank’s brows furrowed together

“She don't wanna see you.” Kevin said, apologetically.

Frank felt like his chest was being crushed. He took a deep breath and visibly slumped. Kevin continued sympathetically. “I'm sorry, man. This is predictable. You know, she needs time.”

Frank fought to keep himself composed. This was his first visit, it had been agreed that the first one would be the Monday, a week after she had left, then moving to Saturday afternoons, and they’d done that for a reason, to give her a full week to settle in. He hadn’t expected it to be plain sailing but he had been hoping she would calm down. He needed to see her, whenever they argued, they always talked, always sorted things out. And this wasn’t any different.

“Just give me five minutes with her.” he looked at Kevin

“I let you inside and then we're gonna betray her trust and have an even bigger problem.” the man shook his head.

Frank got that, he did, but it didn’t make it any easier. He nodded, still keeping himself composed, before wordlessly he thrust the items he was holding into Kevin’s hand and turned and headed back to his truck.

He got drunk that night. And, as he lay on the sofa, with his tumbler of cheap scotch, he realised that the ache he was feeling was the same ache as when he lost Diane. He was grieving. Grieving for the loss of his wonderful, beautiful, annoying, smart-ass niece. Only she wasn’t dead, just gone. Gone from her home and gone from him.

The next morning he woke on the sofa, still clothed, with a mouth like sand paper and a banging headache. After a shower and litre of orange juice he went down to get his mail and found himself sitting on the bench near the mail boxes, simply staring into space. He was vaguely aware of someone sitting next to him, and when Roberta reached out and worked his right hand free from where it was joined tightly with his left, he let out a sigh as she simply squeezed his fingers.

Wednesday morning, after Fliss had stopped by with breakfast from the bakery not far down the road, he was sweeping up the kitchen, which didn’t seem to be half as messy anymore now there were no cat biscuits lying around seeing as Fred wasn’t there to deposit the ones he didn’t want under the table. He opened the broom closet and his eyes fell onto the basket full of shells that Mary had collected over the last god knows how long. He stared at it for a moment before he threw the broom in the closet, slamming the door.

Thursday morning he woke to a message from Fliss asking if he fancied meeting her for lunch. He accepted her invite and headed down to the Marina, his spirits lifted a little at the fact he’d get to see someone he actually cared about soon. He’d been there for a few hours, putting the water pump that he’d finally managed to strip out of that damned boat back together when his phone rang. He glanced at the number and frowned when he saw it was Bonnie. Sighing, he dropped it back to the desk next to him. She’d called a few times since Mary had left, Fliss had reasoned with him that he should answer as she probably just wanted to know how he was. But, seeing as he didn’t actually fucking know how to explain how he was, what on Earth was he going to tell her?

Instead, he let it ring out as usual and then a little while later it beeped, signalling he had a message. He ignored that too, he’d deal with it later.

*****

“Fliss?” Joanne called “There’s a call for you in the office.”

“Ok, hang on.” Fliss put down the bridle she had been piecing together in the tack room and headed through, taking the phone off Joanne. “Fliss Gallagher…” “Hi Fliss, it’s Bonnie, Bonnie Stevenson.” “Oh, er,,,hi…” She said, surprised to hear the woman on the other end of the phone.

“I’m sorry to call you it’s just, well Frank is ignoring my calls and my messages and I was just kind of worried about him.” “Oh…” Fliss took a deep breath, scratching at her head. “He’s been a bit up and down so don’t take it personally.”

“Look, don’t want to step on your toes because I know you two are kinda, well, anyway, I was just in the library at school today and well I saw a photo of Fred on the adoption board for the Pinellas County Animal Shelter and was a little-.”

“Hang on.” Fliss cut her off, not quite believing what she was hearing. “Fred is in the Animal Shelter?” “Yeah.” Bonnie sighed. “I just, well I know Mary loved that cat and I’m concerned Frank is making a mistake giving it away, Mary would-”

“Bonnie the cat went with her.” Fliss took a deep breath, her mind whirring

“What?” Bonnie whispered

“Mary took the cat with her to the foster home. Frank hasn’t turned him in. Fuck, he’ll be devastated when he finds out.” she bit her lip. “Leave it with me, I’ll call him.” “Ok, well, good luck.” Bonnie offered. “Thanks. And thank you for calling and telling us, I mean me, him…whatever” Bonnie gave a chuckle “I hope you get there in time.”

“In time?” Fliss frowned.

“Yeah, Fliss it’s a kill shelter. They only keep the animals for a week or so, depending on their hopes and chances of being adopted.”

Fliss felt her heart sink. Suddenly her thoughts went back to Frank and how he had told her Mary refused to see him on Monday as she was having a meltdown about him going. What if the melt down had been about Fred?

“Fuck.” she mumbled, “Bonnie, I’m sorry I gotta…” And at that she put the phone down. She grabbed her keys, purse and mobile and sprinted for her jeep, yelling to Joanne that she had an emergency. She dived in her car, sped off down the drive and called Frank as she went.

“Hey,” he picked up after two rings.

“Oh you’ll answer to me!” She said, turning left onto the freeway, keying in the location on her GPS.

“Of course.” he said, his tone a little puzzled “What’s…”

“Bonnies’ been trying to call you.”

“I know, I just…” “Shut up a minute.” Fliss cut him off “She was calling because she saw a poster, an adoption photo for the Pinellas County Animal Shelter. It was Fred.”

There was a pause before Frank breathed out “What?”

“They gave her cat away, Frank.”

There was a loud clatter at the other end and then she could tell Frank was running from the sounds and the way his voice wobbled with his momentum.

“I can’t, oh god Fliss, Mary’s gonna be devastated.” “I know. I’m on my way now. I’ll meet you there.”

“Ok.” he said, and with that he hung up. *******

Frank didn’t think he’d ever driven that fast before in his life. He literally dumped the truck on the car park, haphazardly parked in a disabled bay, and ran into the shelter, straight to the reception desk.

“Hi!” he said, resting his hands on the desk.

“Hi! Can I help you?”

“Yeah. Do you have a one-eyed orange cat named Fred?”

At that he heard someone else crashing through the door and a second later there was a gentle touch his arm and he turned to see Fliss, dressed in her riding gear besides him.

“We have a one-eyed cat.” the receptionist nodded after a pause “But I don't know what his name is.”

“Where?” Fliss demanded impatiently.

The receptionist turned to the woman behind her who was digging in the drawers. She turned and pulled a sympathetic face “I don't know. Today was his last day.”

Fliss sighed and Frank hung his head, as a dog gave a loud bark from somewhere in the rear of the shelter. Suddenly there was a violent tug on his hand and he was being dragged down the side of the desk, the receptionist shouting objections as Fliss pulled him through the door at the end. They past the rows of dogs in kennels and then Frank spotted another room to their right.

“This way.” He said and this time he was pulling her along as they headed into the cattery area, but there was no sign of Fred. They continued through, and then headed into the veterinary area, trying each door one by one and the final one they entered was occupied.

“What are you doing back here?” The vet looked at him as Frank saw three needles on the table and let out a soft groan.

“I told him he couldn't.” He heard the receptionist trail off, as his attention was taken by Fliss

“Thank God!” She breathed out, moving to her left. Frank heard a familiar meow and he turned to see Fred in a cat cage on the side.

The relief that flooded his system was insurmountable. He joined Fliss who was now stroking Fred through the bars as the cat tilted his head and looked up at Frank, letting out a meow.

“Hey Fred.” Frank sighed, his hands falling to the top of the cage as he kissed Fliss’s temple in relief and thanks, and then the anger came back.

“Who brought this cat?” He turned round to look at the helpers who were stood in the room.

“Some guy.” The one from the reception shrugged. “He said it was an allergy issue.”

He let out an angry snort and looked at Fliss “Evelyn. She’s allergic to cats.”

Fliss face slid into an expression of understanding as she turned to look at him. “Seems like Mr Perfect Foster Father fed you a load of bullshit on Monday, Frank.”

It took them half an hour to iron out the paper work which allowed Frank to bring Fred home, and because the two other cats in there, Chili and Toby, were on death row they came too, well, with Fliss that is back to the stables.

They carried the cats out between them and Frank turned to Fliss as he passed her the cage containing the black and white one.

“I’m going to get Mary back. This is wrong, it’s fucking wrong. She needs to be with me. I mean, she’s a good kid, right?”

“I’ve told you before, she’s an amazing little girl.” Fliss looked at him as she shut the rear door to the car.

“Well then, I can’t be that bad a substitute parent can I?”

Fliss beamed at him before she asked. “So how we gonna play it?”

He noted her use of the word we, and smiled. “I’m gonna give my mother exactly what she wants”

Huh?” Fliss frowned “I’m not…”

“I’m going to give her another way to achieve her dream without using Mary.” He said, biting his lip as he turned to face her. “Once you’ve dropped those two off meet me at mine as fast as you can. I need to pick up some stuff, and Roberta.”

*****

Fliss did as she was told and less than twenty minutes later they were speeding along the freeway to Tampa, Fliss driving at a steady ten clicks over the limit. It felt like the journey took forever, but it wasn’t much over twenty minutes, and Frank jumped out of Fliss’ jeep before it had even stopped, running up the steps to the large house.

He pounded his fist on the doorway and it swung open.

“Frank?” Kevin greeted him

“Where's Evelyn?” He demanded.

“Evelyn? You mean your mother?”

“Yes.”

“Kevin,” they were joined by his wife, Emma who grabbed his arm as Kevin had opened his mouth to speak. ”Evelyn is in the guest house.”

Frank turned and headed back down the steps, jumping the last three.

“Yeah, listen. I'm sorry, man.” Kevin followed. “Frank, let me tell you. She was so helpful with the tutors. Mary was so distant and she-“

“Hey!” Roberta stepped out to block Kevin’s way. “Look, we know what you’re up against.”

Kevin sighed, nodding “She’s tenacious…”

“Do you want your life back? “ Fliss looked at him, her glare steady as Kevin watched Frank heading up the steps to the guest house “Go back inside.”

Frank reached the top of the stairs and wrenched open the door to see his mother sat at a desk with Mary, whilst there was a man stood pointing at a book, another sat in the corner on a computer. All four of them looked up and Frank took a deep breath, shaking his head at his mother.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, surprise evident on her face.

Frank ignored her as Fliss and Roberta stepped into the room, Fliss carrying the box he had brought with him.

“Come on, Mary. We're going home.” Frank heled his hand out as Fliss placed the box on the desk and folded her arms.

“No.” Mary replied gently, shaking her head, eyes locked on Frank.

“You're trespassing!” Evelyn started but Frank ignored her, flipping the lid off the box, pulling out a ring bound file “You need to look at this.” He tossed it on the desk and walked towards Mary. “Let's go, Mary. Let's move. Come on.” He beckoned with his hand.

“No!” she repeated, sliding off her chair. She pushed the man next to her out of the way and dodged round the desk. There was a cacophony of people moving and shouting her name but Frank gently stopped Fliss as she made to grab her.

“It's okay. I got her.”  He said, flying out of the door after her.

Evelyn made to follow but Fliss stepped right in her path, blocking the way, her nose inches from Evelyn’s as she stared the woman down.

“Think again, lady.”  Roberta spoke from behind her, her hand laying on Fliss’ shoulder, giving a squeeze of support.

Evelyn looked at the two of them for a second before she jerked her head to flick the piece of hair that had fallen forwards into her eyes before she tuned and picked up her phone. She looked at Fliss again, who arched an eyebrow, and then turned back to her phone before she stopped dead and her eyes fell on the ring bound file Frank had thrown onto the desk.

Fliss exchanged a look with Roberta, neither of them understanding what was in the file, but clearly Evelyn did. Fliss had a feeling it was something to do with the equation Frank had told her that Diane had been working on, maybe some research. Evelyn glanced over Fliss’ shoulder to the door, her breathing deep as she looked back to the file.

“This,” she said, looking at it,“it can’t…”

Then she snapped out of it, going for the door but Fliss once more stepped into her path.

“You’re not going out there, not until Frank has a chance to speak to Mary.”

“You have no right.”

“And neither do you.” Fliss said loudly

“I have visitation rights. I’m her grandmother!” “Oh please!” Fliss snorted “Up until a few months ago you had never seen her. And what kind of grandmother rips a little girl away from the person who has shown her nothing but love all her life, and cared for and provided for her for over six years?”

Evelyn raised her chin defiantly.

“And all for what? Some fucking dream about a stupid maths problem that no one bar a gang of stuck up Oxbridge middle aged tossers give a shit about!" "How dare you?" Evelyn glared at Fliss. "I'm not having some jumped up, dressage riding tart speak to me like this! I did this for Mary. To give her the life she deserves… " "No you did this for yourself." Fliss shot back. "And you know what? Maybe Frank doesn’t have the poshest house, or the most prestigious career in the world, but kids don't need money, or laptops or huge fucking homes with a pool and a summer house! They need love and care, to know they're safe and wanted, and she gets all of that with Frank, with us." She gestured to Roberta as she continued. "And if you stopped to listen and look at her as a person and not your ticket to fame for just one second you'd see what an amazing, wonderful little girl she is and that's down to your son." Fliss took a deep breath and wiped at her eyes as Evelyn looked away from her to Roberta almost as if she was expecting a verbal tirade from her too. Roberta simply shrugged "I got notin' to add, she said it all for me" "Frank is one of the kindest, most loving and gentle men I know." Fliss swallowed, her voice softer. "He has a heart of gold and everything he does is for that little girl. Maybe he doesn't always get it right but who does? He tries his best, and I'd love to congratulate you on bringing up such and amazing man, but I literally have no idea how he turned out the way he did with a cold hearted bitch like you as a mother."

****

“Mary!” Frank called, sprinting after her as she ran down the drive “Mary!”

He gently grabbed her arm and dropped to the floor as she spun round “No, let me go!” she yelled at him, lashing out again with her arms the same way she had done when he had left her. Frank turned his head holding his hands up to deflect the blows.

“Stop, Mary.Stop, stop!”

“No!”

“Come here.” he urged, his voice soft as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him as he stood up, holding her tight.

“You lied to me.” she shot at him accusingly

“I know.” He scrunched his eyes up, ducking his head as she continued to rain blows on him.

“No, no!”

“Stop, stop, stop!” he pleaded as her blows grew weaker until she collapsed against him, crying, her head buried into his shoulder. He closed his eyes and pressed his face against her cheek. “I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I'm so sorry.”

“You promised me.”

“I know.” he agreed, taking a deep breath, looking upwards.

“You promised.” Mary’s voice was quiet as her small arms moved around his shoulders.

“I know. I'm sorry. I’m so sorry.” his voice cracked as he gently walked them towards the house a little.

“You said you wouldn't leave me!” she broke her heart once more as his hand moved up to hold between her shoulder blades and he pressed his cheek to the side of her head.

“I made a mistake. I'm sorry.”  He stressed, rubbing her back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed him tightly and he closed his eyes, swaying her softly on the spot.

“I was so sad!” She sobbed as Frank simply stood, breathing heavily, eyes still closed as he desperately fought for composure. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”  He whispered into her hair as he pressed a kiss to the side of her head, blinking back the tears that were filling his eyes. God he should never have agreed to this, ever.

“They took Fred.” Mary cried and Frank shook his head.

“No. It's okay.” He sniffed, bending down to place her on the floor so she could look at him. “We got him. He's home.”

“What?” She asked softly, her cries stopping as she looked at him, her eyes so like her mother’s bored into his.

“He's at the apartment right now. Me and Fliss went and we got him.”

“For real?”

“Yeah.” Frank assured her, his right hand reaching up to wipe away her tears as he cupped her cheek softly. “He's home kicking around his ping pong ball.”

“Why did you leave me here?” she asked, her sobs starting again. And that was the moment he broke. He couldn’t hold it in anymore and he too began to cry.

“Because I thought I was bad for you.” his voice cracked as he struggled to speak, a tear falling down his cheek. “And then it dawned on me. If Mary is this amazing, smart, sweet human being, then I must be doing something right.”

She looked at him, her face contorting as her cries grew shallower and she reached out with her small hands rubbing at his beard before her thumbs crept into the side of his mouth, and she curled his lips upwards and he swallowed again, his eyes crinkling slightly at the corners.

Her hands fell to his shoulders and she looked at him. “You're smiling”

He nodded and bowed his head, his chest heaving with unshed sobs before Mary wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He closed his eyes again, holding her close, his hand rubbing her back.

“I’m never gonna let anyone take you away from me again, Short Stack.” He promised as she pulled back, her hands fiddling with the collar of his grey T-shirt.

She paused for a moment before she looked at him. “Can we go home now?”

“You’re damned right.” He nodded, as he stood, picking her up in his arms. They made their way back up the steps to the guest house, pausing slightly to look at one another as Fliss’ angry yells hit their ears.

“Fliss is mad.” Mary’s eyes grew wide and she looked at Frank.

“Yeah, well she’s missed you too. So has Roberta.” Frank smiled as they carried on up the steps. They reached the door just in time to catch Fliss calling Evelyn a “cold hearted bitch” and as Frank opened the door, Roberta and Fliss turned to face them both.

“Roberta! Lissy!” Mary yelled as Frank set her down on the floor.

“Hey baby!” Roberta smiled, as she hugged the girl tightly before Mary released her and threw herself at Fliss.

“Oh kiddo.” Fliss sighed, dropping a kiss to Mary’s head. She looked up at Frank and he gave her a wink, before nodding gently to the door.

“Of all the stunts you could pull.” Evelyn looked at him and he glared straight back as besides him, he heard Fliss say something to Mary as her and Roberta ushered her out of the door.

“Where are they going?” Evelyn demanded

“Nowhere. Not yet.” Frank looked at her before he turned his attention to the two tutors in the room “You two, out!”

Once they left, Frank and his mother began to argue about the file he had given her, Evelyn refusing to believe it was real, that Diane had solved the Millennium Problem. Eventually, Frank had enough and shook his head.

“Evelyn, stop!” he said firmly. “I'm taking Mary and I'm raising her how I believe Diane would have wanted”

“We'll see about this.”

“I realize she's not normal.” He continued, his voice steady and definitive. “But if Einstein can ride a bike so can she.”

“Let’s just say Diane didn't tell me, which is nonsense. It's a Millennium Problem!” His mother blazed “She would have shared it with the world. That's where your charade falls apart.”

Frank sighed and looked down, one hand resting on the surface of the table between him and his mother, the other shoved into his pocket.

“If she had completed the proof, she would have published it!” Evelyn finished.

With a deep breath he looked back up at his mother before he looked down at the file and spoke a little softer this time “Diane instructed me very clearly,” he swallowed and looked down at his left hand, his fingers tapping lightly on the table, “that I was only to publish it post mortem.”

“She died six years ago.” Evelyn demanded and he looked back at her.

“It wasn't her death she was talking about.”

He watched as his mother’s mouth fell open slightly in understanding and shock before she looked down, swallowing. Despite everything, Frank felt a pang of sympathy for her, he was taking no pleasure in any of this. His mother sank into a chair, her eyes closing as her head bowed slightly

“I tried to talk her out of it.” Frank explained gently. “But you know how Diane could be when she made her mind up about something.”

Evelyn didn’t say a word, she simply stared at a spot on the desk, her eyes darting from side to side and Frank could see she was suddenly coming to terms with the fact that, really, she hadn’t known his sister at all

“I called MIT.” He continued “Shankland's out of his mind about the possibility of publishing it with you.” At that Evelyn glanced up at him. “He's waiting for your call.” Frank nodded. “You're gonna spend the next few years of your life defending it. You won't have time for her.”

Evelyn swallowed again, before she floundered to speak, struggling slightly to form the first word. “What If I say no?” She eventually said, taking a breath and looking back up at Frank.

He looked to the side slightly. “Well,” his eyes flicked back to hers, the nerve in his jaw twitching slightly, “back to Plan A”

“Wait for me to die?” Evelyn’s voice took on an almost amused tone as she fixed Frank with a look.

“I know Diane was hard.” He said after a moment’s pause, his voice remaining calm. “I know she was angry. But something really good came out of this, Evelyn. She needs you now. You're the best woman for the job. Take it”

Evelyn looked down at the file again, her brows raising slightly. “It doesn't seem like Diane wanted me to have it.”

“Well, Diane didn't always think things through.” He smiled softly as Evelyn looked up at him, the fact she had spoken those exact words to Frank weeks before had clearly not passed her by. “I'll be outside. Let me know what you wanna do.”

With that he left the room but he hadn’t even gotten halfway down the stairs before Evelyn shot out after him. He turned and glanced back up at her, questioningly

“I’m not going to fight you anymore, Frank. I’ll take your offer. Diane deserves for her work to be published.”

He nodded and turned to go again but she stopped him a second time.

“Will you let me give you one piece of advice before you go?”  

He looked at her expectantly.

“Fliss,” “What about her?”

“The way she was fighting your corner before, the things she was saying, well, it almost made me proud to be your mother.” Evelyn gave him a smile. “Don’t let that girl go.”

“I don’t intend to.” Frank shook his head, one corner of his mouth twitching upwards slightly. “Goodbye Evelyn.”

***** Greg wasn’t overly impressed with Frank’s display of recklessness, his yell down the phone of “you dumb-ass mother fucker,” was loud enough for Fliss, Mary and Roberta to hear. With a grimace, Frank headed out of the apartment and explained what had happened and Greg listened, before promising to set the ball rolling right away. Two hours later he called back having spoken the woman from the Welfare Department who had been managing the fostering arrangements.

“She’s happy, given Evelyn’s seeming lack of contention, for Mary to stay in your care for the immediate future.”

“Immediate future?” Frank held his breath. “What does that mean?”

“It means that we’ll need to go back to court to obtain formal Guardian status. But, given your Mother’s U-Turn, and the Foster Parents being surprisingly supportive of you, there’s no way this is going anywhere but in your favour.” Greg’s voice was full of warmth and Frank let out a sigh of relief. “I’ll organise the paper work and we’ll file for a hearing as soon as possible but it could be after thanksgiving. I got another big custody case going on now so…” “So there’s no way she’s gonna be taken?” Frank pressed.

“I’d bet my house on it.” Greg informed, making Frank smile “The only potential bump in the road here now is if your mother requests formal access or visitation rights.” “Well if she does, I’m not opposed to her having a relationship with Mary, but it’s done on Mary’s terms, not hers.” Frank replied. “And being reasonable like that will go even more in your favour.” Greg chuckled “I’ll get the paper work sorted on Monday. So in the mean-time enjoy your weekend and do me a favour and take Fliss on a date will ya?”

With a laugh and assurances that he was going to try at least, Frank headed back inside to be hit with a barrage of noise as Journey “Don’t Stop Believing” was blaring out of the stereo. Mary was on the sofa, bouncing up and down as she sang whilst Fliss had hold of her hands, moving them back and forth as they danced. Frank leaned against the doorframe and simply watched them until Roberta moved over and dragged him into the middle of their group. Mary threw herself at him and he caught her with a loud huff which was followed by a laugh as she reached up and ruffled his hair.

A few hours and a Chinese takeout later, Mary was fast asleep and both Fliss and Roberta decided it was time to go. Gently lifting Mary from where she was led with her head in Fliss’ lap, Frank tucked her in bed fully clothed (like it mattered) and then headed outside. He said goodnight to Roberta, the woman hugging him and Fliss before he walked Fliss back down to the jeep.

“Thank you for today.” He looked at her as they walked. “I never knew you had such a fierce side.”

“Well, I spent so long being trampled and stepped on, sometimes I like it when my inner lioness makes an appearance.” she smirked at him.

“You certainly made an impression on my Mother.”

“Oh, yeah.” Fliss winced “I kinda..well not kinda, I…err…I shouted at her. Called her a cold hearted bitch.” “Yeah I heard that bit” Frank snorted and Fliss scoffed.

“In my defence, she started it, she called me a jumped up dressage tart.”

“Well that’s just rude.” Frank agreed “You show-jump.” Fliss stopped by her jeep and looked at him before she burst out laughing and Frank grinned. There was a pause before Frank looked down at the floor and then back at Fliss “You know, she gave me one final piece of advice as I left.” “Oh yeah? What was that? Buy a mosquito net? A Bug zapper? No, wait, she told you to get a string vest and a banjo didn’t she?”

Frank shook his head grinning. “She told me not to let you go.” He said, holding Fliss’ gaze before she looked down, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Although the banjo does sound fun.” “Piss off.” She said gently with a grin, shoving him in his chest. He caught her wrist softly and then moved his hand to tangle their fingers together, looking down at her small palm against his before he looked back at her.

“You know, if this was a movie I’d use some really shit cliché here like oh, you came into my world and turned my life inside upside down.” he shrugged, “but my life was already upside down and inside out, and you,” he let out a breath, “you just help put it back to where it should be. You make everything better Lissy and these last few months without you in my corner..." he trailed off as her eyes locked onto his, shining in the dim light, his thumb gently skating the back of her hand. "Look, I know you said I wasn’t in a position to know what I want but I do. I really do. And it’s for you to be part of this, albeit, royally fucked up life I have." As he looked at her he spotted the twinkle in her eye as she smiled at him, her hand squeezing his.

“I think it's about time you took me sailing don’t you?"

He gave a laugh and nodded “Yeah, yeah I do. Does tomorrow work?”

“Works just fine, Sailor.” she grinned, standing on her toes. She placed a soft kiss to the side of his mouth and it took every inch of self-control Frank had not to grab her and kiss the life out of her, but he knew now wasn’t the moment.

Instead he smiled as she stepped back, and climbed into her car. He shut the door for her as she wound he window down, starting up the engine.

“My last lesson is at three so I can be ready for any time after five.” She smiled up at him as he leaned on the roof her her car with his hand.

“Okay, I’ll text you.”

“Looking forward to it.” She beamed, and with a final smile and a tap on the roof of her car he stepped back and watched her drive off up the road.

**** Chapter 10

[jaalismyhusband]

Roommates (part 5)

Title: Roommates

Pairings: Bucky x f!reader

Warnings: stalking, language, smut smut smut

Wordcount: 1.8k

Catch up: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Masterlist

Part 5

After the fight, Bucky had his breakfast in silence. Steve tried to talk to him, only to fall on deaf ears. After a half an hour of Bucky not responding to his attempts to make a conversation, he gave up.

Bucky knew he had to act quickly or he would lose the chance to get together with Y/N. And just when things were going so well for them! But no, he had to fuck up monumentally. Although, he wasn’t losing hope, yet. He just had to eliminate competition.

Determined to succeed, he left the kitchen and made his way to Y/N’s room, only to find her already gone. She must have snuck out.

“Two can play this game, doll,” He muttered under his nose and followed her to the café.

He parked his car two streets away, in order not to get recognized. Putting a black baseball cap on his head, he blended with pedestrians. Seven minutes later, he found himself just across the street from the café, with the perfect view through the glass windows. That’s when he spotted Y/N. She was about to finish ordering. Good, he wasn’t too late.

As he was watching them, he tried to figure out, if and how should he intervene. He couldn’t just show up at their table. Hey, uhm, so I have been stalking you for a while and I really don’t appreciate how close you are to my almost girlfriend - there was no way in hell he could come up to them, without compromising himself. He knew he had to stay calm and keep his distance.

However, the sight of Y/N holding hands with Jason had him fuming. In a way, he envied him. Jason had something, or someone, he wanted. And from the looks of it, Bucky won’t get his hands on her in a near future, if he doesn’t do something about it. But now, the only thing he could possibly do, was to continue to watch them. Mostly, they were talking and laughing, whilst holding hands.

After what seemed like unnecessary number of laughs to Bucky, Y/N finally stood up, as well as Jason. Bucky clenched his jaw, when he saw them hug. Although, what really hurt him, was a subtle kiss, that Y/N planted on Jason’s cheek. After they pulled apart, Jason looked lovestruck and Y/N gave him a heart-warming smile, that Bucky adored. The fact that he wasn’t on the receiving end of it, stirred something in him. He couldn’t stand watching them anymore. He got to get away. Looking around him frantically, he felt a rush of what he thought was an anger and fled the scene.

He decided to finally make her his.

Y/N felt good after the talk with Jason. Their closure brought her much needed relief. She was ready to come home, take a bath and munch on some snacks. She totally deserved it. As soon as she got to the Stark Tower, she filled her promises to herself. Warmed up after the bath, dressed in comfortable clothes and armed with a controller, she camped on the couch and took out her frustration shooting hostile aliens in her favourite video game.

There was only one piece missing of her serenity. Bucky. She hadn’t seen him throughout the whole day and was getting progressively worried and tad bit sad. Making peace with the fact that they will only stay friends, she sighed and made way to her bed. She succeeded in distracting herself from the drama, but nonetheless, her thoughts started wandering Bucky’s way anyway. No matter what happened between them, she couldn’t stop thinking about him.

She changed into her pyjamas and got under covers. Laying on her back, she zoned out, whilst looking at the ceiling. Ugh, why can’t I get over him, she huffed. Turning on her side, she fell asleep.

Bucky was miserable. He almost lost Y/N today, for good. He could always kidnap her and keep her with him, but he didn’t want to take such an unnecessary measure. If there was a chance to get her willingly, he would try. That didn’t mean, he wasn’t tempted to do so. As much as he wanted to give her space and time, he wasn’t cool with fucking around and not doing any progress in their relationship. They were stagnating during her whole fling with Jason and just when he thought, they took a step in a right direction, he made them take two back. He basically rushed her to Jason’s arms, again.

“Fuck,” he let out a frustrated sigh. He had to do something, right now.

And so here he was, standing over Y/N’s sleeping form. He learned, that she was a deep sleeper. For many nights, he tried to be as stealthy and quiet as possible, but as the time went on, he found out, that even his mumblings aren’t enough to wake her. So, he talked away the nights spent next to her. He told her about his day, then proceeded onto his dreams and plans for the future – many of them involving her. Oh, how he wished to tell her about those, while she was awake. He couldn’t help, but took her sleeping form in, admiring how her nose scrunched, when she dreamed. Sometimes he stole a cheeky kiss. Other times he tried his luck, touching himself right in front of her. Maybe he wanted to be caught in the act. He dared her to wake up. Although, she never did. But tonight, he was going to stay here long enough for her to wake.

Morning sun invaded her room, landing its rays on her face, stirring her from her slumber. Feeling refreshed, she moved to stretch her rested body, only to be restricted by handcuffs.

“What the hell?” she mumbled to herself, as she tugged on her wrists once more.

“You’re awake. Good.” A deep voice startled her. Bucky.

“What is this? Uncuff me, right now.” She wanted to sound confident, but her demand came out as a pathetic whimper once her eyes met Bucky’s dominant gaze. He was standing in front of her bed only in his underwear. Y/N zoned out, admiring his godly body and her mouth watered at the visible bulge. He was big.

“I think we both know, what will happen.” A cocky grin plastered over his face.

“Yes, you’ll untie me and then I’ll kick your ass.” Y/N said, trying to resist the wetness pooling in her underwear.

“Feisty. I like that.” Bucky smirked as he climbed on her bed. “We’ll see how long you can keep that attitude on for.” And with that, he kissed her. Y/N was in pure shock. She had to remind herself to move her lips and not only gawk at her beautiful best friend, who was finally kissing her.

So, it wasn’t one-sided after all! Or this is another dream. A very cruel dream. But Bucky’s warm calloused hands exploring her body were, for sure, real. They pulled away to catch their breaths, staring each other right in the eyes.

“I’ve wanted to do this ever since I first saw you.” Bucky cooed. Y/N replied by pulling him for another heated kiss. Bucky then descended down to her swan-like neck, marking her for everyone to see, who she belonged to from now on. She moaned desperately, as Bucky started grinding his hips against hers, while simultaneously playing with her nipples.

“Bucky, please, I need you.” She looked at him, with her eyes hooded. Hearing her beg made something in him snap. He lost control, turning feral. Tearing right through her clothes, he moaned at the sight of her bare body.

“My pretty little girl.” His words made Y/N blush.

“Please…” She squirmed under him, impatient for his touch.

“Tell me, what do you want, doll?” He wanted to make their first time slow, to devour her, to make her go crazy by the time he would finally enter her. All that was forgotten after her reply.

“I need you inside me, Bucky,” she said, her voice timid, just above a whisper. Although it was all the consent Bucky needed for wrecking her tight aching hole.

Quickly, he slipped out of his boxers, making his cock sprung free. Y/N gasped at his size, worried look in her eyes as he reassured her, that he’ll go slow.

He reached between her legs, only to find her dripping and needy for his stuffing. He plunged his two metal fingers in, making her gasp at the sudden cold sensation. Coating them in her wetness, he scissored her, while watching her face expression intently.

“Stop teasing me and fuck me already!” She huffed, clearly frustrated with him, while he only laughed and withdrew his fingers. He smeared her juices on his throbbing cock, mixing them with precum, that was leaking from his angry red tip.

Not wasting any more time, he lined himself up with her entrance. They moaned in unison as he slowly split her in half. She cried out at the impossible stretch, but soon accommodated to his girthy length. His hand wandered to her clit as to ease her pain. Soon enough, he started rocking his hips back and forth.

She struggled against the restrains, wanting to touch Bucky. She would scratch his back, rake through his hair and pull on it, make him know, how good he was making her feel.

“Tell me, who this tight pussy belongs to.” Bucky’s growl went straight to Y/N’s core.

“You, o-only you,” she stuttered, as he hit that special spot with a pronounced thrust.

He sped up, whispering filthy things to her. She could only lie there and take it. Her brain was fogged and the only thing she could think of was her nearing orgasm.

“Fuck, I know you’re close. Can feel you squeezing my cock, you little slut.” Bucky exclaimed, making Y/N moan at his dirty talk. He thrusted even deeper, getting her closer and closer with each jerk of his hips.

“Cum all over my cock, babygirl. I know you want to.” He wasn’t wrong. Not long after, Y/N came with almost a pornographic moan, as he kept fucking her through her orgasm. Her pussy throbbed from overstimulation.

“I want you to cum in me, daddy.” She whispered. Bucky lost control after hearing the title he was given and fucked her harder into the mattress. Tears started streaming down her cheeks. The overstimulation. The pain. The pleasure. It was all too much.

Bucky’s thrusts became sloppy as he shot his seed deep into her, pulling another orgasm from her, as well. Her walls tightened, milking every drop of his potent elixir. He threw his head back, as he stilled inside of her, vein on his neck bulging out. A bead of sweat rolled down from his temple, onto his jaw and neck, making way towards his muscled torso and Y/N thought, he never looked hotter.

Still sheathed deep inside of her, his lips met hers in a breathless kiss. After he uncuffed her, they both laid next to each other, basking in the post-orgasmic bliss.

“Why? Not that I’m complaining,” asked Y/N. Bucky pulled her close.

“I needed to claim you for myself.” He flashed her a toothy grin.

“Well, mission successful,” replied Y/N as she cuddled into him.

THE END

@vicmc624​ @ok-but-loki​