#I’ve had this account since 2018-2019

[meowkid1000]

YEAAAAAAHHHH MY BANG DREAM ACCOUNT WASNT GONE FOREVER ‼️‼️‼️‼️

[gabrielleragusi]

For Artists: My Experience with Commission Platforms and Illustration Agencies

Hi there! I’ve been wanting to compile a list of commission platforms that I’ve personally used for the longest time, and I finally did it! I’ve highlighted the still-active commission platforms in bold and struck those that don't exist anymore so you can jump to the sections that interest you without needing to read my entire story.

Let me start by briefly introducing myself.

I’m Gabrielle, a fantasy illustrator. Since 2014, I’ve been working on book covers and illustrations for publishers, authors, and book subscription boxes. Early on, work wasn’t as frequent as it is now. I had to search for opportunities myself, and even small private commissions were important for building my portfolio and earning some money, which I’d spend on materials, books, and online courses. Like many other artists, I started out by trying my luck with the biggest art community available at the time.

DeviantArt

2009-2018

Once upon a time, there was a virtual haven called DeviantArt. To my teenage self, it was a magical place. I signed up in 2009 and thought I’d never leave!

At first, I created an account just to share my work and learn. I didn’t even think about commissions for four or five years. But when that first inquiry finally landed in my inbox, things took off! My mum swears she remembers my excitement when I got my first commission, but for some reason, I’ve completely forgotten about it. I can't remember what it was or how much it paid. It might have been a portrait of a fantasy character.

Commissions on DeviantArt were fairly frequent, especially considering my cheap prices at the time. I used to offer discounts and post my rates in my DeviantArt journal, or in Commission groups that featured artists either monthly or weekly. After checking out my profile, a client could simply send me a private message and from there, we’d discuss payment, deadlines, and other details, and the platform didn’t take any fees, much like how ArtStation works today. Everything happened through private messages or email, with direct contact between artist and client.

The downside of this process was that there was no dispute resolution system on the platform. I had to handle all issues myself, and unfortunately, problems did arise sometimes: there were clients changing their minds about commissions, asking for refunds after work was delivered, refusing to pay, or just ghosting me. These issues didn’t happen because clients were evil, but rather because I was inexperienced and allowed some to take advantage of my naivety.

However, all that frustration helped me develop my commission process through trial and error (mostly error). And despite the challenges, I can say with satisfaction that most of the commissions I received through my DeviantArt profile were positive experiences.

DeviantArt eventually introduced a commission feature for Core (Premium) users, which came with a platform fee, but I didn’t use it much, and I’m not sure if it still exists.

The real beauty of dA, though, was the connections I made. I was able to meet people, both artists and clients, that I’m still in contact with today, and some of whom I still collaborate with.

I closed my account in 2018 or 2019, but by that time, I hadn’t really used it for a couple of years. The new user interface was a bit of a turn-off for me. I had always loved the geeky, and dare I say cozy, look of the old green and grey aesthetic, with its customisable panels that you could move around and personalise with HTML code... But I digress.

Artists and Clients

2013-2016

While taking small commissions on DeviantArt, I discovered Artists & Clients. It was a nice platform for clients to get things like their D&D characters or groups illustrated for relatively cheap. I think my highest price was $50 for a single character portrait, with the platform taking a 15% cut. I used it for about two or three years before the platform started to change.

As more artists with hentai art styles flooded in, the homepage shifted, and so did the clientele. There’s nothing wrong with drawing naked anime girls, of course, but you can understand that if a client is looking for a fantasy, semi-realistic painting of their female orc character, or a realistic portrait of their spouse, it's more than likely that they won't bother sifting through a sea of anime girls to find the style they want, imagining it isn't here. Let's just say that, at the time, the website took a definite direction that wasn't in line with my genre, but this direction didn't make the different, more realistic art styles stand out either.

Soon, commissions slowed down for me, so I closed my account, but by then I was already working elsewhere.

That said, this platform could still be a useful tool if you’re looking to take on smaller commissions.

DreamUp

2014-2015

DreamUp wasn’t an AI generator back then. It was actually a subsidiary of DeviantArt, where clients could post projects and artists could apply. It was a competitive platform that offered well-paid work–very well-paid. I remember seeing jobs posted that ranged from $300 to $1,200. DreamUp was a very professional platform for clients with a mid to high budget.

I believe I landed my very first book cover commission through this website when I was in my last year of high school. I remember getting the job and going to school the next morning, excited to share the news with my classmates. Everyone was super thrilled for me (we were a really close-knit class!), and I felt like I was walking on air.

Unfortunately, as far as I know, that book was never released, but it didn’t matter because I was moving forward, and fast.

I’m not sure when DreamUp was shut down, but I do know that DeviantArt held onto the copyrighted name, assigning it to something so anti-old DreamUp that it still boggles my mind.

ArtCorgi

Now Artistree

2014-2019

When I received an invitation to join ArtCorgi from its founder, I already had a somewhat consistent portfolio. I was painting portraits and fantasy illustrations, and the clients on this platform were looking for both–your typical wedding and pet portraits, as well as book covers, which were what really interested me. To get to the latter, I had to do the former. Over the years, I’ve painted so many realistic portraits that now I have a strict rule for my own sanity not to do them any more. I have great respect for portrait artists, but it’s just not me.

When I first submitted my prices to the person I was in contact with, she kindly suggested that I raise them... a lot. That was a major step forward in my professional career. I went from charging $50 to $100/$200 overnight. And to my surprise, people actually wanted to commission me at those prices!

From 2014 to 2019, I took nearly every commission that came my way. I never spoke directly with the clients; all instructions and feedback went through my point of contact, which helped maintain a level of professionalism, although now that I’m used to working directly with clients, I’m not sure I’d want to go back to having an intermediary.

Sadly, as with all good things, this chapter came to an end. My point of contact eventually left communication in the hands of someone else, and shortly after, the commission fee changed to, I believe, 30%.

Simply put, 30% is an unrealistic cut for a website like this. For an agent that gets you all kinds of big work in the publishing industry, sure, but since this was not the case I had to stop taking commissions. Despite that, my overall experience with ArtCorgi was very positive.

Today, ArtCorgi joined another platform, Artistree. As far as I can tell, Artistree doesn’t take any fees from artists, with clients covering a small cost instead.

Sketchmob (?)

2016-2020

This was probably the platform I used the most. I’ve lost count of how many commissions I received through Sketchmob. Many. Enough to generate a steady income at the time. With reasonable fees and a variety of art styles available, clients contacted me almost daily. Communication was direct between artists and clients, and payments could be split. The review system also worked very well… for a while.

Once I raised my prices, requests became fewer and farther apart. But by then, I was already working with my own clients.

Is this platform still active? Who knows. The website is still up and the chat feature works, but I’ve seen users complain that money available for withdrawal never arrived via PayPal (the only payment method the platform accepted, if I remember correctly). Personally, I wouldn’t risk completing a job through Sketchmob right now, at least not until they release an update.

If you’ve used the platform recently and successfully received payment within the last six months, please let me know, and I’d be happy to update this section!

Upwork

2017-2019

In 2017, I was determined to break into the book publishing industry. After trying out Fiverr and Freelancer.com with no success (the competition was too fierce for someone just starting out), I decided to give Upwork a shot. The platform looked very professional, and while the process sounded a bit complicated, I wanted to land the interesting projects I saw featured in my category. I really wanted to work with a big client… but big clients didn’t seem to want me, despite having the Rising Talent badge.

In two years of bidding for jobs and submitting proposals, I only landed two projects: a small commission from a private client who actually reached out to me, and another project that I bid on.

Don’t get me wrong, I was ecstatic at the time and truly appreciated every opportunity that came my way. But looking back, I can see why Upwork didn’t work out for me. The platform just wasn’t the right fit for my style and niche, which is fantasy illustration. Graphic design, however, was (and still is) in much higher demand.

The commission process on Upwork wasn’t as simple as on other platforms. For instance, at the time, costs were calculated hourly, which was a challenge for someone like me who prefers working with flat fees (having already calculated my average hours spent on an illustration). From what I’ve seen, this has since changed.

One positive aspect of Upwork is its current 10% cut on what artists earn. I don’t recall if this has changed over the years, but 10% is quite reasonable in my experience. Of course, 0% would be even better, but for a platform as large as Upwork, 10% is fair.

Illustration Agency

2019-2021

By 2019, I had built a solid, consistent portfolio thanks to my personal work and commissions. I had a simple website in place, my Instagram following was growing… I was steadily working toward my goal of illustrating covers for big publishers (which didn't happen until two years ago).

So, when an illustration agency reached out to me one day, I was over the moon. I had always heard that artists were the ones who had to approach agencies, not the other way around.

Well, that should have been my first red flag.

I won’t name this agency because, unfortunately, I have nothing positive to say about it. In fact, the word “nothing” perfectly describes my involvement with them. Nothing came of this barely there experience.

The agency invited me to sign up, not on an exclusive basis, but they assured me they’d get me work. That work never came. Once in a while, I’d receive messages saying they were trying to pitch my portfolio to a French publisher or another client, but... nothing.

Please understand that meanwhile I was already working directly with shops and authors, so I don’t believe my portfolio was the problem. The real issue was something I didn’t realise at the time: some agencies do this. They feature talented artists in their catalogue without having actual clients lined up, just to appear more professional and credible to potential clients. Did this strategy work for them? Maybe. I’ll never know.

In 2021, I politely asked them to remove my portfolio from their website, and that was the end of it.

After that, I never actively sought out an agent again. By the time my portfolio was strong enough to approach a serious agency, I just didn’t need representation anymore.

Hireillo

2019-2022

My experience with Hire an Illustrator, or Hireillo, is mixed. At the time, Hireillo was a platform that hosted artists' portfolios, featured artist-submitted news, provided useful articles, resources, and directories of artists and agents. I joined the site hoping to catch the eye of publishers, but I was mostly contacted by authors and one fellow artist for a graphic novel.

Unfortunately, most inquiries didn’t go beyond the first couple of messages due to budget constraints. I did, however, have fun sharing news about my painting process and projects I landed on my own, which were often featured by the website. Additionally, if I had questions about 'complicated' things like copyright, or just needed advice, I could ask the website’s owner and that was incredibly helpful.

Despite these benefits, I didn’t see any real results, which was a little disappointing. The subscription fee was also... odd, for lack of a better word. $5 per week. In the end I just couldn’t justify the cost, so I stopped using the website altogether.

Reedsy

2019-2022

Finally, we come to the turning point.

I remember stumbling upon Reedsy randomly. It wasn’t very well known at the time, and I think it still isn’t. I was nervous when I submitted my portfolio because their catalogue features the best of the best: designers who’ve created covers for bestsellers, THE bestsellers, people who’ve worked on Stephen King covers, or George R.R. Martin's. Designers, editors, and marketers who are veterans. I didn’t have high hopes for my application. So, I was in shock when it got accepted.

I had an introductory Skype call with a representative from Reedsy, who explained how everything worked. Before the call ended, I remember asking if there was a good chance I’d get work through the platform. The rep laughed and said, “Yes.”

A few weeks in, I understood that laugh.

Reedsy has an overwhelming demand for book covers and commercial projects. For every designer there are many more clients. In peak seasons, I was getting requests almost every day. I’m not exaggerating.

Reedsy transformed my portfolio and my pricing structure. Thanks to the income I earned through the platform, I was finally able not to take everything that came my way but be selective and choose only the projects that really interested me.

The commission process is simple: artists pretty much decide how to split payments, what to include in agreements, and the best part, the most beautiful and helpful feature of all, they can request and adjust deadlines. For someone like me who's terrible with deadlines, this feature was a lifesaver. The admins are also very kind and responsive, available via email or chat.

Unfortunately (this is my last 'unfortunately', I promise), my time on Reedsy came to an end for personal reasons. I’ll explain since it’s no secret.

All my images on Reedsy were watermarked with my signature (my full name), which apparently violated the platform’s rules. Why? Because if a client saw my last name, they could contact me directly and bypass Reedsy, which meant the platform lost potential fees. I’ll admit this did happen a few times, but I had the good sense to redirect the client back to Reedsy.

After three years, an admin finally noticed and asked me to remove my full name from the watermark and any text on my profile. It was a simple and reasonable request, but here’s where the problem started. Profiles on Reedsy are public, and images appear in search engines like Google Images, meaning anyone could download my work and use it without permission. Sure, watermarks can be removed, but uploading my work without one in the first place felt like a bad idea. Btw, not only do I use watermarks, but I also use Glaze to protect my illustrations before sharing them online.

Anyway, for this reason, and also because I couldn’t get over the fact that full names were public at the time, something I won’t get into because, believe me, I tried over email, and my reasons went into the void (now, last names are just initialised, like Gabrielle R. Okay. Sure.), I had to close my account–they would have done it anyway because it was already 'flagged'.

Overall, if you’re willing to overlook the last name conundrum, I can’t recommend Reedsy enough. If you have a killer, solid portfolio and a love for books and editorial projects, go for it!

--------------------------------------------

I hope you'll find this useful! If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask (: Oh, and here's an old article I wrote in 2020, titled:

Tips to freelance illustrators to avoid being screwed over

Who knows, maybe I'll write another 'article' post in four years!

Instagram  - ArtStation - Website - Inprnt - Etsy - TikTok

[jinjuomo]

For anyone that’s been on the tumblr side of the fandom since 2016-2019 and is still active, do you guys ever remember seeing a user on here making an animatic of Harrison to a fanmade song that was about him?

Because I vividly remembered around 2018-19, the tumblr user transharrison/minecraftworm (both accounts gone now) made an animatic to the song— which was originally posted on Instagram by a different user from IG, who actually composed the song themselves and wrote it to be about Harrison.

The original post and song itself had this specific art as the cover on it from Instagram (art belongs to hyperboy117.. though I’m not sure since the WM is hard to see)

I don’t remember the exact lyrics or how the whole song went by (it’s been 6-5 years since I’ve last heard it)— but there was a part in the song where it went, “Soon enough you’ll know— this is just another trick” before it goes on “lalalala” with an acoustic guitar playing on and on.

I know that the animatic is gone, and I’m certain the person who composed the song also deleted their post.. but I want to know who made the song at least. I’ve been thinking about this song and the animatic for so long, I just wanna see it again.. I can’t find archives of it anywhere 💔

[astonmartinii]

F1 ASKS!

i saw this tag floating around and wanted to let yall get to know me better since i’ve been doing this a while and have only really spoken in the form of authors notes! also im not going to tag anyone so just do it if you wanna!

who is your favourite driver?

i think for anyone who has read anything i’ve ever written it’s probably a bit obvious but max verstappen! what can i say little me was told we’re supporting red bull and here was this little charmer (emphasis on little who let that child get into an F1 car)

do you have other favourite drivers?

also based on my writing you can probably tell that my top three are max, charles and oscar! however, i will also say that alex is a close fourth for me (he’s also very nice irl). also as for retired drivers i think the mamma mia series is a bit of a spoiler but i love jenson, seb and kimi

who is your least favourite driver?

i used to say i didn’t dislike anyone on the grid - that was a lie. i’ll still write for anyone within reason but you can also probably tell with how in detail the back and forth is on certain pieces that i am really not a fan of sainz, actually people who get yelled at while i write them would argue it’s more than “not really being a fan of” but i am fake and i have maintained that if i meet him at silverstone (which i very nearly did last year) ill tell him im his biggest fan! also not the biggest fan of like pierre he’s just kinda there for me and a wee bit too cringey ALSO what you may not be able to guess from how i write him… im not really a fan of lando! ive really, really tried especially after his win but he just kinda rubs me the wrong way (i was immediately proven right with the trump comments lol). people say i should pull for him cause he’s from bristol which is where i live but he’s from glastonbury babe - also ive done a few swimming competitions at the school he went to a WOAH baby has so much money.

do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?

i mostly pull for drivers but like i guess i like red bull? well i did. i love max so i would follow him everywhere but i did like red bull as well as a team (i like alex, danny and checo so that also helps) but this whole protection of christian horner shtick is really disappointing so id say im a driver person.

if you like teams, who do you pull for?

like i said red bull were the team id pick if i HAD to follow a team - i support chelsea so i cant handle even more disappointment if i followed ferrari and also i only like charles there and they’re the source of all of his misfortune so …

how long have you been into F1?

so my family has always been into F1, my cousin karts and my uncle is a mechanic and makes karts on the side but i had always been more into football cause i could actually go to that with my dad - and also for young me who didn’t know what the fuck a strategy was it seemed kinda boring. but i’d say from maybe 2016ish i started watching it more regularly (hence the max stanship). my mum loves it and her first love in the sport was mark webber which is why we like red bull. but yeah i remember watching max’s first win and was like MUM I WANT THAT ONE (and i have technically met him? idk we made eye contact when his taxi nearly ran over my foot)

what got you into F1?

my mum! i love her and she’s just as much a passionate fan (and hater when appropriate) so it’s a nice thing to do together - especially because me and my dad are season ticket holders at chelsea so spend a lot of time together doing that so this is like my sport time with my mum (along with the olympics that’s our shit we’re very excited for the swimming). so i guess it was being around her watching it and listening to her and my dad argue about it! my mum is an ardent seb supporter and my dad is like a twitter account away from being in teamLH so canada 2018 (2019?) was VERY entertaining. also my uncle loves it so he likes that im proper into it (like have a sports journalism degree) and so we always chat about it - he’s trying to recruit me into motogp next

do you enjoy fanfic/RPF?

i mean i’ve written so much i must love it. lol jokes i do enjoy it and i feel like it helps me like people more (case in point: when i was trying to make myself enjoy the lando win i just read my own fics of him LOL)

but also its something fun to do that’s also creative and has helped me make new friends from all over

how do you view new fans?

ugh i hate the hate new fans get like not everyone can be born into loving a sport? if anything the more people that watch and love the sport the more money it’ll make? idk this whole superiority complex some fans have is just so unneeded for the sport and we all know why is majorly directed at girls. i do fear that some of the new fan behaviours could border on worrying - waiting outside hotels and ambushing drivers is stalking actually!

but overall im always happy to have new people in a sport - a bigger community is always good and new fans bring new perspectives which is good as older fans may just be desensitised to “normal” things in the sport but new eyes can remind them - hey halos are the best thing to happen to F1 and red flags in heavy rain are necessary.

if you could take over as any team principal for any team who would it be and why?

i know i previously dunked on ferrari but there needs to be an intervention because my girly max already has three championships and i need charles to get at least one so i can die happy - then ill move to mclaren, kick zak brown up the ass get a piastri championship and bounce (honourary race with willams or whatever team alex is with cause i need all three 2019 rookies to be race winners)

are your friends and family into F1 as well?

i feel like my other answers answered this but yeah! i also recently reconnected with an old primary school friend who is also really into it. i went to a sports uni so basically everyone there liked it as well (which means me and a friend did trek to the F1 arcade at 4am to watch aus 23 where she had a public meltdown over sainz (i enjoyed it)). also ive made a couple friends through working at races!

are you open to talking to other fans/making friends?

i always am! i am a year out of uni and working from home with all my home friends still at uni after taking gap years so i am big time lonely so always feel free to slide into my messages!

[new-employeeamillion]

I still foolishly dabble in Twitter to see what some of my fellow animation enthusiasts are saying, and one particular SpongeBob tweet annoyed me so much that I’m not even gonna talk about it on that app. It was quoting a segment of the Season 12 episode Shell Games, a fairly standard and innocuous episode, and saying that the plot is an insult to Stephen Hillenburg’s legacy. That was the final straw for me. I can no longer trust the people who aren’t diehard SpongeBob geniuses with Stephen Hillenburg’s name. Especially when they’re blue checkmarks who can benefit from the clout SpongeBob fans will give them.

What was so insulting about Shell Games? Them revealing Patrick’s rock was actually a turtle shell, for one episode, out of nearly 600. I swear, you have less of a reason to be upset over The Principal and the Pauper, and even that’s been an overreaction. I’m not gonna say Shell Games is one of my all time favourites, but I think it’s got enough character with the turtles to make it memorable.

But the gall of that user to transparently have no idea what the show is like now, and still feel the need to stuff the late creator’s name into their opinion to feel better about it. It isn’t 2019 anymore, when Kamp Koral had just been announced and no one had the concrete information on Stephen’s awareness of it. Even back then, my stance on post-Hillenburg SpongeBob stuff has always been “I may not like a lot of it, but I salute the people who he knew continuing to work on it.” How is that such a hard stance to take? Can’t these blue checkmark people have empathy for working class animation teams?

I miss 2015-2018 when the SpongeBob community was more stable. When a Post-Sequel episode aired that the fandom didn’t like, we didn’t jump to “Stephen didn’t want this! Legacy tarnished!”, we discussed what we didn’t like about it and hoped the next episode would be better. A lot of fans still do that, but certainly not the normal people who haven’t even watched the show since they were kids. Fair enough, but if that’s the case, don’t act like an expert out of nowhere. If you were a big fan of Sherlock Holmes, and every single thing made for the past 94 years has had people going “Arthur Conan Doyle didn’t want this! Legacy tarnished!”, you’d understand my antipathy.

Never mind the irony of all this - Stephen Hillenburg was alive when Shell Games was produced. It was the 4th-to-last episode to enter production before he stopped coming in to the studio. Community notes sorted that out quickly. And let me say, you don’t have to like every episode he personally contributed to or oversaw. But come on, why am I expecting nuanced thinking from someone giving Elon Musk their money?

Twitter’s never been a great website, but now, it feels like all the worst people have cracked the code. Only the loudest and angriest voices get the attention, which gets more dangerous the more sensitive the topic is. And then, even if you agree with the sentiment, you will despise the personalities of the very people you’re agreeing with. It’s a platform that encourages all the worst human behaviours. Whenever I so much as make a joke on there, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. It’ll hurt to see less from accounts I really respect, but I’ll offload it for a little while, because it’s not been good for my mood.

And I’m really sorry that this is yet another long angsty blogpost so soon. It’s been those times for me, and I hope you got some sort of useful lesson from what I’ve typed out.

[enigma020]

If you have time can you pls draw asriel x fuko fire or papyrus x red from noveltale

I GOTCHU bud! :D

Okay, Exhibit No. 1:

NOVEL!Papyrus X NOVEL!Red/Lara!

By far, one of the COOLEST concept designs I’ve ever made for NOVEL!Papyrus, by the way. One of my favorite designs for a character since it’s a combined mix of both Pre-Noveltale Papyrus’ sentry armor and Noveltale Papyrus’ Royal Guard armor. I mean, JUST LOOK AT THAT BLASTER HELM AIN’T THAT COOL? :D NOVEL!Red/Lara’s design, on the other hand, was inspired by Epictale’s Red/Lara and the original Undertale Red.

Their ship dynamic was simple. Back in either 2018 or 2019, when I first saw and watched Undertale Red, I had this thought. What if Red/Lara, a Royal Guard, trained Papyrus, a sentry, in secret and developed during training? And at the time, Zachary still had the role of the second fallen human adopted by Gaster and was a member of the Bone Brothers. Given the opportunity to do so, I chose to let Zachary help arrange some stuff so that the two could actually form a really close connection, eventually giving better character growth between the two. Now, those thoughts alone were a stupid reason to ship the two still, I know- But a few months, if not an entire year later, I came across a BUNCH of fanart of the two in the internet, making me realize that the thought might actually not matter at all since a lot of people were shipping em too-

And then 2020 came, I finally, FINALLY got myself a Tumblr account and found Yugo’s Tumblr, I continued to read their Epictale comics, specifically the remake and oh boy I GOT REAL HOOKED AGAIN LIKE HOW I FIRST DID WHEN I SAW THE OLD ONE IN LIKE GOOGLE BACK WHEN I WAS A FIRST YEAR HIGHSCHOOL BOY :D- and then I continued working on how to improve on character growth for the two. And just right before I cancelled the AU, I did plan to make it so that Papyrus was a Royal Trainee and Red/Lara was a Royal Guard, trained by Undyne and gets along with the Royal Hounds (The dogs) like in the original Undertale Red lore.

The final idea was that she would assist him through both Snowdin and Waterfall Patrols, often helping her with hers as well. And then they develop through time and then- y’all get the point-

Anyway, ONTO EXHIBIT 2, also known as the last exhibit for today:

NOVEL!Asriel Dreemurr X NOVEL!Fuku Fire!

Their concept was simple. It all came from three crucial thoughts. (There were more, but let’s focus on just the three crucial ones-)

“What if Asriel and Chara lived?” “How would Asriel’s childhood life had gone if he had survived with Chara.” “What would’ve Asriel’s relationship be with Fuku if they had met?” Now of course, I made headcanons for that-

Basically, two childhood best friends who developed while growing up, bonus that they both have the same magic, fire magic. Chara would’ve been there to witness it all happen, being the first person to see the two develop a very deep friendship, and eventually develop feelings for one another and they would’ve also been there to help Asriel in finally getting him to tell her that he likes her and to make him realize that she likes him too.

In the earlier version of Pre-Noveltale, AKA Histale, Zachary would’ve been the second human ally for the Royal family. He would’ve been one of Asriel’s best friends too who’d try to find Asriel a girlfriend while growing up together in the underground.

Not gonna lie, I bet the kid would be real happy if he knew that, even though I cancelled it in the end, Asriel finally got one after 8 years of the AU’s development 🥹

[dear-space-cadet]

Lucky’s big ol’ Franz Ferdinand compilation post

Hello! I’m Lucky! I had a special interest on Franz Ferdinand from 2014-2020 and was in the franzdom for 6 years. I’ve acquired a ton of links and media that I figured I’d share with y’all since there seems to be a bit of a Franzdom resurgence!

I also ran FranzArchive (need to bring that back) and I was one of the I’ll Try Anything Once authors… if that still runs the fandom. I don’t know if it does. I hope it does….. maybe. Basically I’m the reason for the Steckrübe line in Billy Goodbye 💅 Solly Spacecadet reporting for duty!!!

PS I own Sound Bites and the Franz A-Z book, and since I’m at my parents’ house this weekend I’m going to try to digitize them and put them online somewhere

PPS I’m working on a video essay about Franz and the Franzdom in addition to the archival project. It’s a slow burn but it’s going well and I’ll be doing interviews so if you’re interested lmk!

I also ran (run?) franzdom.ferdinand on insta, I have connections at slacken_ties, and my favorite Franz is Nick McCarthy forever and ever.

PHOTO, VIDEO, MEDIA

GOOGLE DRIVE (all of my pics and rares 2014-2020, def some silly stuff in here but it’s the camera roll of a Franz-obsessed teenage girl)

YOUTUBE (need help archiving this, WE ARE LOSING RECIPES (videos are being lost to time))

@find-the-eyes (the official blog for the Slacken_Ties tribute turned archival project. This is the official account for the Franz Archive so go follow!!!! I’m hoping to bring it back soon)

FIC

OUT OF CONTROL (Schuyler and Rossetti)

UNDER AN OPTIMISTIC SUN (by Bachelorettia. I lose the link to this 24/7 but it’s literally how I met my best friend Alli <3)

UNI FIC (by Bachelorettia)

FIND THE EYES (shameless self promo; this fic was me and a few friends in 2018 and 2019. I was Sol. I was responsible for all the weirdo hurt/comfort stuff in I’ll Try Anything Once. If you think you can come up with an ending to that one or want the rest of the outline to try to finish it yourself lmk. Bc I’d love to see it end!)

NILEX MASTERDOC (bc I am delusional.)

I’ll get working on the physical media side soon, but that’s all I have for you right now :3

With love,

Lucky

[builder051]

Whumpmas in July 2024 day 1: Introduction

Here’s (almost) what I look like. Cred to Fotor for the filter.

Hey, all!

I’m Laur. He/him. I’ve always loved sickfics, both reading them and creating my own. I started off writing for OCs and several different fandoms, but eventually I’ve settled into working within the MCU. I have have ~ 10 different ‘verses ranging canon to AU, and many are focused on different individual characters.

Believe it or not, this is my 8th WIJ (or maybe I pre-date the event? I can’t remember.) Anyway, I’ve been posting fics here since 2017.

At the time I created this account, I training as a professional athlete and dabbling in bodybuilding (hence the name of this blog—the numbers are a random add-on to make the account unique.) I would cross train and swim for an hour every afternoon, then set up the laptop and pour my heart and soul into stories to post on Tumblr. I finally found my writing niche, and I’ve made some best friends for life in the whump/sickfic/emeto community.

My big claim to fame is my completion of the 2018 NaNoWriMo (My total word count was just over 90,000.) I filled the prompt for all 30 days of Novemetober, and I completed the draft of a novel with only 28 days of work. The book has since been published and is available on Amazon. (DM me if you want more info or a link to purchase.)

I used to be able to turn out fics and prompt fills every day, but in 2019 I had some huge health challenges that have slowed me down considerably. The deets aren’t so important, but here are some highlights: the onset of a mental illness, major organ failure, 10+ surgeries with general anesthesia, and three brain injoruous incidents. Now I mostly get around in a power wheelchair. Big change from a few years back.

These days, I have a lot of trouble concentrating, and I have a busy schedule, so my fic and art posts are now few and far between. I still love challenge events like WIJ. I know I won’t be able to answer the question/prompt for every day, but I do have ideas that I’m excited to share.

[kittykittyhunter]

The Archive

Introduction On 14 June 2020, I accidentally deleted my tumblr, wiping out a blog that I had been maintaining since January 2011.  I was distraught due to losing a lot of fond memories – and crushed at the thought of so much of my writing disappearing.  I hadn’t been very disciplined about keeping offline back-ups of my work, so when my blog disappeared, so did a large collection of poems, short stories, vignettes and fanfics.

Over the last few years, I’ve steadily recovered a decent chunk of my writing (about 300 pieces) thanks to my friends reblogging my posts and being diligent with their tagging systems.  I’ve now been able to archive and remaster my poems and prose pieces – though my fanfiction remains in the ether (which, to be honest, I’m okay with). On that note, I would like to express immense gratitude to the people whose blogs I recovered my works from:

alistersangelsong

@brattyhalfpint

caitsylph

@houkou-nrl

jirohoushi

kara-kitsu-x

kasukasumoe

@kidasbrainspace

@kunimitsuchin

lassinajumper

@lenandbonten

@mono-frog

@mon-qi

seethebattlefield

@s-ephiroth

@tacotits

@ten-thousands-hobbits

thunderdownongreenside-archive

I know a lot of these bloggers either are no longer on tumblr or use these accounts (and tumblr wouldn't allow me to tag everyone?); even so, I want to share my thanks. And thank you to everyone else who read, shared or otherwise enjoyed my writing over the years.  I hope that it inspired deep feelings and I hope that it bought you comfort.  I want you to know that I wouldn’t still be pursuing writing if it wasn’t for all the support you sent my way.  I read and savoured your comments and tags and, I promise you, I am grateful for all the love I received. Methodology While it would have been simpler to reblog the old posts, save for those that were trapped under a Read More (and a fair few pieces fell into this category), for this archiving project, I opted to take the opportunity to edit my works (also, I didn’t particularly want to bombard my friends’ notes by reblogging ancient posts).  This gave me a chance to appropriately re-format some works which had, unfortunately, originally looked quite ugly! The editing process was incredibly interesting – I ended up making changes to almost all my posts, so it’s good to know that I’ve definitely grown as a reader and writer over the last decade.  A very small number of the posts were brand new for the blog, but at this stage, I’m happy to count them as part of my archive.  For me, it’s important to compartmentalise and draw a divide between the writing I shared then and the writing that I will, hopefully, go on to pen in the future. I’m still in the process of proofreading: some of my tags have typos and there are certainly some errant dashes, among other issues, here and there.  Nevertheless, I’m satisfied with the state of things for now. Some posts are titled [‘Circa …’].  If I had been savvier about using tumblr mobile in conjunction with the web version, I could have recovered all of the exact dates of my original posts.  However, what’s done is done and I am satisfied with what I was able to accomplish. Statistics I love numbers – here are some interesting graphs regarding my posts:

Posts by Form - Prose – 37 - Poems – 271 Total – 308

No. of Posts by Year - 2012 – 1 - 2013 – 4 - 2014 – 21 - 2015 – 61 - 2016 – 114 - 2017 – 44 - 2018 – 22 - 2019 – 16 - 2020 – 20 - 2022 – 4 - 2024 – 1 Total – 308 There’s definitely a lot of writing that I wasn’t able to track down: in 2016, for example, I believe that I posted 366 poems.  Still, I’m pleased with the works that I did find – it was great to rediscover works that I’d completely forgotten about. I think that draws this post to a close.  Thanks for reading!

[jbaileyfansite]

Jonathan Bailey interview with the Evening Standard (2021)

There are worse places to conduct an interview than a park, and at least it’s only drizzling.

The only problem is that people won’t leave Jonathan Bailey alone. Which is to be expected, of course: he’s in Bridgerton, the most-watched original Netflix series in its history, viewed on 82 million accounts in a month since it dropped on Christmas Day. Wait. Did I say people? I meant dogs. They snaffle at his heels and rub against his legs while the humans remain impervious. This is because, devoid of his mutton chops and tailcoat, the 32-year-old actor looks a world away from Viscount Anthony Bridgerton, brother of Daphne; lover of Sienna; friend and foe of Simon, Duke of Hastings.

Today he’s dressed in a nylon jacket and sporting very different hair. ‘Bit of a spoiler for season two — I’ve had a light perm,’ he smiles.

And even if Bailey had spent the past two months in full regency costume, fame would have eluded him until lockdown eased and the usual signifiers — being hassled in restaurants, endless selfie requests — were back on the table. Until then it lies in wait, preserved in aspic.

Having spent lockdown thus far on the East Sussex coast staying home like the rest of us, Bailey admits the disconnect is confusing. ‘I feel like I’m being gaslit on a global scale,’ he laughs. ‘Even today, just meeting and talking to actual people who have seen the show feels weird. To me and all the British cast, it feels like Nasa. Netflix launched this spaceship, and you get launched into space. It’s a brilliantly traumatic thing to experience. The launch only happens once, and then it’s about tethering yourself and working it out. I think that might take a while.

‘The isolation of lockdown has been incredibly hard for everyone, but the isolation of feeling like you can’t inhabit the experience that other people are experiencing around you, while being locked down and not being able to see your friends…’ he tails off. ‘Presumably all it will take to shake it off is a big dinner, or even just having a few pints and going out.’

With a slew of TV parts under his belt (Broadchurch, Crashing, Chewing Gum, W1A) and an Olivier award for his role as Jamie in Company (2018), Bailey isn’t exactly an ingénue. But Bridgerton is one of those rare TV programmes that has bestowed fame on a global scale.

Produced by Shonda Rhimes and adapted from the historical novels of Julia Quinn, Netflix’s genre-busting costume drama reached the top 10 in 189 countries, thanks to a sharp script, lavish costumes and racially diverse cast that saw actors of colour inhabit the highest echelons of 19th-century society in a way that had never been seen on screen before. That this high society is presided over by a black woman, Queen Charlotte (Golda Rosheuvel), might be diversity divorced from any historical context, but the alternative — another costume drama inhabited by white people — has never felt more wrong.

Bailey auditioned for the part in 2018 while appearing in Company, sending off a tape to Rhimes’s production company, Shondaland. ‘I got offered the job on my 31st birthday, 25 April 2019,’ he recalls. Filming started in July 2019 and ended in March 2020, narrowly avoiding any impact from the pandemic. 

‘For me it feels like a lockdown anyway when I’m working, so it’s a long time since I can remember normal life.’ Has he been he a banana bread-baking stereotype over lockdowns? ‘I made more than banana bread,’ he laughs. ‘I started with banana bread but went on to cinnamon rolls, although they looked like turds — terrible. But I made amazing hot cross buns.’

The million dollar cliché: what did he learn about himself? ‘I feel more complicated than I thought I was,’ he says. ‘And then I’ve been affirmed by certain things. I did a lot of cycling between lockdowns, in Cornwall and around Italy last summer — pure recharge, pure perspective. Nature is so important. I know everyone’s saying that, and that some people can just keep going flat out, but I know I need to recharge. And I love a bath. I’ve had weeks where I’ve had a minimum of two a day.’ He suddenly looks horrified. ‘Actually, that’s awful. Don’t put that, ’cause it’s wasting water.’

Barely has ‘what did you miss the most?’ escaped from my lips and he exclaims, ‘Theatre! Not just theatre, but the possibility of theatre. But then, I’ve been watching really brilliant theatre creatives smashing it on TV instead.’ He points out that Bridgerton cast members Rosheuvel, Ruth Gemmell, Adjoa Andoh and Luke Thompson are all regulars on the stage. ‘We should be proud in Britain that there’s a massive crossover between theatre and TV. It’s not a semi-permeable membrane: it’s all one talent pool.’ 

Could the Government be doing more to support theatre? ‘Absolutely. It’s just the people who are making the decisions; if it had been someone who loves theatre, and understood the importance of it, this would never have happened. There are certain things in life where you go, “That’s a marker”, and the [2019] government campaign about Fatima having to retrain in cyber was one. That was a wound that will take a long time to heal. And the other marker of a moment is Ruth Sheen’s performance in It’s A Sin [the veteran actress had a cameo as a hospital visitor who took Keeley Hawes’ character to task in the final episode]. The last year hasn’t been about Christmas and Easter. It’s been about markers like those.’ 

Bailey has been described online as ‘openly gay’. I point out that no actors are ever described as ‘openly straight’, and he laughs. ‘I’d say I’m not openly gay. I’m just gay.’ Although he is wary of discussing his sexuality for the sake of it. ‘Then it becomes a commodity and a currency. I knew that I wanted to be visible about my sexuality, because in all the territories that Netflix goes out in, there might be a boy somewhere that goes, “Wait, what?” Which is what I didn’t have when I was young. All I know is that I’m happy to keep working really hard and if there are opportunities for representation, and to make that point, then that’s something I’ll always strive to do.’

Like just about everyone else, he loved It’s A Sin. ‘It was an incredible way to talk about an awful pandemic, and an absolute tragedy that so many people will be triggered by it. In Ruth Sheen’s character, you have a heterosexual woman who is mother to a gay son, challenging another mother. I found that rage incredible. The gay fantasy isn’t just hanging out in bars and meeting men. The gay fantasy is to have guardian angels of allyship.’

He’s hesitant to say whether he agrees with director Russell T Davies’ assertion that gay people should play gay roles. ‘It’s a big old conversation and one I’ve spoken to Russell about, and many other actors. But it’s really hard to give a sound bite to sum up.’

I tell him I don’t want a sound bite. ‘It’s about redressing the balance of access to roles. There just aren’t that many gay roles, so when straight actors go to take that space up, it’s eliminating the chance for other [gay actors].

‘We know there has been a history of needing to be closeted to succeed and be famous, especially in acting. And the idea of not being able to believe heterosexual relations and narrative, if you know one of the actors is gay… everyone should be able to play absolutely everything. But let’s blow away all the cobwebs, and one of the hang-ups and shadows of the past is that we need to be a lot more open to the idea of sexes playing different sides. There have been amazing performances by straight people playing gay and by gay people playing straight. It’s a moment to think about that, and I think Russell’s point was that there’s a vitality and a joy to It’s A Sin because he cast gay people in gay roles. That’s completely true. It’s not a bad thing to own your narrative.”

He is glad not to have received any flack for playing a straight role such as Viscount Anthony. ‘Bearing in mind the internet is a place where anyone can say anything, there hasn’t been anyone who’s had any animosity, or challenged it, so that’s good. Yes, I’m looking forward to gay actors playing gay parts, but for me it’s so important that everyone at home can see a bit of themselves on screen, to allow them to feel heard and seen, and also allow them to have aspirations.

‘Good actors can do anything, and there’ll be amazing writers who are willing to write for everyone. If there are people who don’t have access to creating their own TV shows or telling the stories they want to tell, then absolutely, everyone has to make space for them. That’s not just to do with gender or sexuality. It’s to do with race, religion and everything else.’ He pauses. ‘The idea that someone could read that and go, “God, that’s just a woke viewpoint,” I find really funny. It’s just basic sense, isn’t it?’

Another dog — this time a cockapoo — launches itself on Bailey mid-flow. ‘We have a family cockapoo. I looked after him in Lockdown 1,’ he says. ‘That was a real baptism of fire. He ate a sock. A full sock. It was a Muji sock. Stripy. And then it came up again three days later.’ What’s he called? ‘Benson, after the village I grew up in.’

His sounds an idyllic childhood. Brought up in Oxfordshire, he eschewed drama school for an Open University degree. Neither his parents nor three older sisters have anything to do with acting, but his interest was sparked as a child after watching a production of Oliver in the village hall. He joined the local drama club and also pootled around at the back of the class while one sister did ballet. ‘I wasn’t really invited, but I remember having Velcro trainers and just squeaking in the back and trying to do some pliés. I stopped dancing aged 12 because of the inevitable narrative — peer pressure. Ballet became a euphemism for something else.’

Was he the sort of kid who always got the lead in the school play? ‘I did play Jolly Roger in Jolly Roger,’ he smiles. ‘But then I was taken down a peg or two when I played a raindrop in Noah’s Ark. You win some, you lose some.’

With Bridgerton likely to run for many more seasons, and Viscount Anthony’s storyline taking centre stage in season two (now that sister Daphne is married off, the plot will focus on his own romantic life), Bailey’s newfound fame isn’t going to dissipate any time soon. He has mixed feelings. ‘You work and strive to be an actor and you can get better at it and enjoy it. But you can’t be good at fame or enjoy it. Some people do, some people don’t. It’s a different cocktail for everyone. There are suddenly opportunities available, which is brilliant, and I’m incredibly lucky. But then I realise this is when people say it’s about saying no, because what you say no to keeps you on the path.’

What also keeps him on the right path is the role itself. ‘Bridgerton is actually delivering on changing the bar, and the standard, of representation. Because of that, I’ve had amazing messages from people who have been able to talk about their sexuality, or people who have seen themselves or their children in the Duke of Hastings [storyline]. For me that’s the thing that’s always going to ground [the experience]. It’s a candyfloss juggernaut theme park ride — like multiple sensory overload.

‘So thank God for family. Thank God for friends.’

Source

[1000-directions]

yes that’s a hockey pun D:

well, 2022 was not a year that wanted to make words. this was very much the year that i created the least written stuff since i started making these round-ups. however, i really, really love everything i did write this year. it wasn’t much, but it’s all stuff i’m really proud of :)

this year, i published exactly 2000 words on ao3. it’s just a little scrap of something, but it’s mine, and i made it even though making things is hard, and it turned out just how i wanted it to. i also wrote a poem, which i never do anymore, and a song, which is one of my favorite things i’ve ever made.

i also left 7457 words of comments on @jedusaur’s fics this year, which has had lifechangingly good consequences for me. if you’re ever looking for reasons to leave comments on someone’s fic, just consider that one possible outcome is they might fall for you and become your partner and make you happier than you could imagine :) individual results may vary!

ao3 account writing tag 2021 round-up 2020 round-up 2019 round-up 2018 round-up 2017 round-up

[image description: the background is a comics panel from david aja’s hawkeye, depicting a newspaper with the headline ‘EVERYTHING AWFUL: Oh God Somebody Do Something.’ text superimposed at the top says ‘steph’s 2022 writing round-up.’ the ‘2022′ has been clumsily pasted over scribbled out, illegible text beneath it. text at the bottom of the image says ‘#stephwritesahattrick2k22.’ this has also been pasted over scribbled out, illegible text. the impression is that the image has been repurposed and updated several times. end id.] 

POEM

a poem for someone who used to be my favorite person

SONG

lone wolf - i was not really acknowledging that i wrote this for jed, but i extremely wrote this for jed<3

FIC

with a bang and a whimper - bucky/clint, 2k, P R A I S E  K I N K

[puyoginge]

What's been going on with me.

3 years later I’ve decided to resurrect my Tumblr because it is my sanctuary and the social media ever. I disbanded twitter because it makes me angry all the time and for the sake of preserving my dwindling adult sanity. lol.

You may remember me from my few posts under the username yaboinate28. very 2018 lol. I posted a lot of trans / general mental health relatable stuff to manage my struggle with gender dysphoria and hopefully connect with others who felt the same as me. If you want to get a taste of what's been going on since then then please do read on below!! (TW mental health stuff)

WHY I LEFT

Some time in 2020 I purged all my trans posts, removing all my incentive to return to this new decade apocalypse of a site. I guess was feeling really insecure about the discordance between my Tumblr open-transness (??) and my irl extreme stealth thang. I was chronically worried about people from my real life finding my account basically. 

Much of my stuff was very Tumblr cringe and probably stuff you’ve seen before but there were a couple of self help posts that were actually insanely good resources for coping with gender dysphoria (particularly in the early stages of social transition) which I seriously regret deleting. I remember a lot of my memes “blowing up” which made me feel really special and like I could contribute something to the world. As a young teenager struggling with self harm and severe depression as well as navigating my life within a home that outright rejected my trans identity, my Tumblr was my lifeline, the people I met made me feel hopeful for the future, and seeing people reblog with “I needed to hear this” or “thanks so much for posting” meant everything to me.

But its important for me to address that I’m not the person I was back then, !!and whilst I'll be attempting to find and repost some of those self help resources!!, I probably won’t be posting about my trans experience much anymore other than within this entry. But please please reach out if you need someone who’s been through it to talk to. I’d love to support you however i can!! I’m only a message away. 

LIFE STUFF

Since 2019 my attitude on life has changed a lot and whilst coping with my mental health issues are still a daily hurdle, I’ve found myself a groove in which to sit and ride the wave. Essentially I’m managing and I’m happy and able to maintain a positive outlook on life, which is good. Additionally, with time my family have softened to my trans identity. Its not perfect, but I’m not at risk. I love my family and I don’t blame them for their actions, I’m just taking it slow. 

Passed my GCSES with flying colours, passed my A-levels with regular colours, and I'm going to uni. Life has continued and its good. And whilst I would rather eat my own shit than go back and relive the days when my mum had to force me me out the door to get me to go to school, I made it through every last day. That's fucking badass, and tbh I'm pretty resilient now because of it lol.

I guess my point is (crass warning) see the joy in what you have. Take life day by day. Don’t let yourself take the easy route, because then you’ll learn how fucking strong you are. And you are stronger than you think even if all your cards are stacked against you.

TRANSITION STUFF

Since the last time we spoke I’ve legally transitioned, and am (at the time of writing) dealing with the initial admin of medical transition. I’ve been speaking regularly with a gender specialist therapist for 2 years. more recently I’ve been exploring my gender expression with my new found freedom. AND I’m in a relationship with someone who is beautiful and kind and couldn’t be more supportive of me (I adore them). And.... I’m still as stealth as ever. Just as resistant to say “yAYYyy i’m trAns!!!” as I’ve always been. I fucking love it. Some things never change lol. As I said family are being dragged by the tail along with me and have warmed to the whole thing. Support is not the word, but acceptance is pretty apt. They both realise it’s always been “me” at this point and that's enough for the time being.

WHO I AM NOW

I’m now an adult (wtf so surreal????) I have allowed my passion for retro gaming to flourish, recently got super fucking into rhythm games, developed a healthy collection of games and consoles which I may post about perhaps. Resurrected my love for anime, particularly dumb slice of life shows and Madoka Magica (all hail you beautiful broken masterpiece of infinite spinoff potential)

I found my interest in psychology (wowwww surprise!!) Got a job, found some friends, told some people a long overdue fuck off. And rounded myself into a much more open minded person than I used to be.

I couldn’t care less how many people read this, mainly I’m doing it for me. To provide myself a clean slate and stuff. But if you do read this, and you used to enjoy my silly little posts or find them helpful or whatever: I hope you’re well, I’m glad you stuck around and I hope you stay :)

[catb-fics]

I have been fan of catb since 2019. Until then I hadn't known much about the band's ups and downs or if they had any. But for an unexplainable reason and cause I read rumours about "drugs" I feel like 2018 was a dark period for them ( not between them). Do you think or know if some of them were or are addicted to drugs?

Hey, I’m afraid I’m a little in the dark around this period too, I mean I’ve been a fan since 2016 but I was more of a casual fan until 2019 which is when my obsession really kicked in after seeing them live! I didn’t really delve much into the fandom side of things until then… however I’ve seen plenty of rumours and fan accounts which would suggest that things maybe weren’t great for some of the band members around this time. I believe a fair few shows/tours were cancelled and band member illness was cited as the reason. I also heard Bondy did some lives where he was quite visibly upset (this could have been earlier but idk). People say Van became much more withdrawn too. I really don’t know anything first hand though and I’d hate to speculate about unfounded rumours about drug addiction… I do think they probably worked themselves into the ground with relentless touring and they were properly exhausted, and I guess the cracks maybe were appearing where all was not as sweet and happy as the very early days 😭

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

I don't know if you there att but I feel like between the surge of fans in 2018 and 2019 in the twitter and instagram fandom ( I came to tumblr way late so I wouldn't know what went on here ) there was a relatively normal acting fandom with few weirdos then that Sharon Osbourne did her interview and that somehow gave a lot of these people the courage to act as senseless as they could because ofc taking the word of this not even Queen adjacent women who didn't know anyone she is talking about is completely fine lmao. This is what she said btw -

.

But please don't give me the shit in that movie about Brian doing this, and Brian doing that. Brian [May] did what Freddie told him to do, and that's it. And you know what? It's like finally these two [Brian May and Roger Taylor] have got to their late 60's, and finally, finally, they have got the attention that they always wanted, but never got because of Freddie.

As you say, you watched Queen you didn't give a shit about anybody else. You were drawn to Freddie. And who did anyone want to write about? Nobody but Freddy. So there were these frustrated fuck musos that sat at home going, 'We hate Freddie. We hate Freddie.' And that was it."

---

I actually watched the shift happen because people got the reason to let their hate finally run free.

I want to know how it’s 2023 and I’m just hearing of this. The fucking nerve of that piece of trash, god. What a brain dead thing to say and for no fucking reason.

Since I’ve literally never heard anyone cite that interview, I don’t know how much of a role it played in shifting fan opinion. I think that bullshit line of thinking had been around even before the movie, and then a bunch of dumbass Freddie stans who hated the movie jumped on that train, because they think Brian and Roger supporting the film means they don’t love Freddie as much as they do 🙄 Right before I deleted my insta account, I remember some dipshit justifying their Brian hate boner with “I’m always going to be Freddie’s warrior!” or some embarrassing shit

[sarah-aliterarylife]

Books I Couldn't Finish

As you may recall from one of my previous posts, it takes a lot for me to break up with a book.

In fact, there are few things I dislike more than admitting to myself things just aren’t working out.

It doesn’t happen often, but admittedly post-2020 I have become slightly more discerning in terms of doing things that make me happy, and not continuing with things that don’t. Life is simply too short.

So with some regret, here is a short list of books I couldn’t finish.

Gilead by Marilynne Robinson

Over the last few months, I have been working my way through all 100 books recommended by Oprah Winfrey as part of her Book Club. This book is (so far!) the only one I could not bring myself to finish.

Set in 1956, it takes the form of a letter from the elderly Reverend John Ames to his young son. In the letter, the reverend reflects on his life, his Christian faith, spirituality, community, love, death and loneliness. The book is largely a religious text (or at least that’s how it seemed to me) and the plot is minimal.

Gilead started off well, but I soon found that every few pages my mind would begin drifting onto other subjects such as work, my to-do list or what to make for dinner. Sometimes, within a few minutes I drifted off to sleep. That is not a good thing at 3pm in the afternoon! Ultimately, after 110 pages, I’d got the gist.

Shortly afterwards, I was slightly horrified to find that the book was part of a series, and four were recommended by Oprah as part of her reading list! Sorry Oprah, I don’t think I’ll be revisiting Gilead any time soon.

2. Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut

This book is a semi-autobiographical account of the Dresden fire bombing by British and American air forces in 1945. That’s the first I’ve heard of it.

I don’t remember where I was or what I was doing when I read Slaughterhouse 5. What I do remember is that somewhere around page 30, I realised that I had no idea what was going on or what the book was about.

I put it down and have never looked at it since!

3. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

In fairness, this one started off well – I took it with me on a work trip to Stavanger in 2018, and devoured the first few chapters quickly. But there was no movement in the plot and I quickly realised that each evening, the same events were going to happen. Settling down each night in my hotel room, I would have no idea in what order events were taking place, I would wonder if I’d missed something important, and the main character would begin to irritate me after about 10 minutes.

I persevered until about halfway through, before I couldn’t take it anymore and found something else to read instead.

4. Moby Dick by Herman Melville

I tried. I really did.

I read this at the close of 2019, at the beginning of a long period of illness. At the time, I wasn’t sleeping or eating very well, and my mind was heavy with worries. I tried my best to focus my mind on the exciting tale of Captain Ahab and his quest to kill the whale, Moby Dick, but I just couldn’t do it. There was simply no room in my brain for such a complex and intricate novel. Of course, I didn’t realise this at the time, and I became angry with myself for failing to grasp the language or the plot.

Perhaps now that my brain is back to full capacity, I will revisit Moby Dick and give it another go.

5. Every text on the Medieval Literature module of Newcastle University’s BA English Literature course

Yes, you read that correctly.

I have never struggled with so many books as I did on the unfortunate occasion I chose to study Medieval Literature at university. Reading them back to back was an absolutely Herculean task. I struggled with the intricacy of the language, the themes, the plots, and even the online study notes were not helpful.

In my defence, at the time I was also working nearly 30 hours per week, struggling to support myself and in an unhappy relationship that I didn’t know how to end. Unfortunately, I didn’t have space in my brain to also decipher The Canterbury Tales, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, and Morte D’Arthur. I still have no idea how I managed to pass the module!

What are some books you couldn’t finish?

[orangepunkwitch-blog]

Where have I been?

I will try not to get into too much detail (considering this is a witchy blog; I originally wanted to get into the super-detailed stuff in my main blog) but a LOT has happened since 2018!

If you’re a new follower: hello there! You likely haven’t seen much from me in recent years because I migrated from tumblr in 2018, only to make a friggin’ back-up account because I needed to vent about stuff, lol. But I’ll be posting more frequently now! Especially since I saw this post the other day, which made me come back here. 

But first, to the old followers: we got catching up to do.

I should note that any followers who followed me to my Mastodon account saw me sort of drop off from there but I’ve been more active on there the last few months.

CONTENT WARNING: I will be talking about some health-related trauma and there will also be mentioning of ED for the next few paragraphs. I’ll signal the end of that with all caps bold-italics.

2019 was the year my body decided to... ramp up the pain. From the tail-end of summer onward, I had developed health issues that affecting my colorectal areas, complete with rectal cramps, but all on one side. Eating was becoming difficult for me, as I had to do everything I can to avoid constipation as my chronic anal fissures worried me. It was to a point that I actually got a cane, and I ended up skipping eating at all except for dinner on my first two days of my period. This continued into 2020 as my high metabolism made me slowly drop in weight over time to a point where I was really underweight. But that pain on my period that caused me to use a cane because I thought I had some sort of.. growth or something pressing on my sciatic nerve... That’s what kept making me constantly adjusting my diet. But it’s hard to eat when the pain eliminates your appetite or makes everything come back up and you nearly collapse from exhaustion.

April 2021, I had an anal fissure that, while not very painful, had a considerable amount of blood that warranted my very first ambulance right to the ER. I’m fine, but I had blood tests done just in case it was Crohn’s. It’s not. I was recommended a gastroenterologist, who at first recommended a colonoscopy, but I begged for something less invasive (my first CT scan!). And he was glad I did, because I had a golfball-sized cyst on my ovary that was pinching and pressuring my large intestine, as well as creating pressures everywhere else.

He referred me to the best gyno I’ve ever met. Upon meeting him, he immediately told me, “I want to perform surgery on you as soon as possible.” He also went, “While I’m in there, did you want your tubes removed?” Like.. no questions. This guy was fucking awesome. I felt like a person to him (the gastro-doc was cool, too!)

September 2021, I got surgery. This gyno specializes in ovarian cancer, and that’s what he was afraid of. But lo and behold, it was not cancer! The cyst was chocolate in color!

It was endometriosis, confirming my decade-long suspicion.

He told me that the cyst was sticking to my bowel, and he gently pulled it loose, but saw no other signs of it anywhere else in me. He wasn’t a specialist, but he knew what to watch out for.

I ended up losing the ovary. But post-op recovery was a breeze. I didn’t need painkillers, and that still freaks my husband out, lmao.

2022 saw me going to seek a counselor for a few things (abandonment issues, trauma related to health issues, as well as being assessed for Autism, which I’ll get to that last one after the content warning bumper at the end here), and the counselor I ended up seeing was some... I guess religious lady who specializes in eating disorders. By this point, I knew I was underweight and was trying to get a hold of the right doctor to get that taken care of, but despite telling hr of my health issues, she kept insisting I was anorexic.

Meeting after meeting, she refused to listen. She did everything but tell me directly that she didn’t believe me. She invited my husband to come in on the last meeting, to which I agreed, and when he took my side, she immediately ignored he existed. And I’m still messed up from her.

I saw a nutritionist who recommended a nutritional shake intended for gaining weight and such, but she also acted like I had an eating disorder, begging me to “just eat more” and eventually told me, “I don’t know how endometriosis affects how you eat.” The only silver lining is these shakes do the trick.

I am gaining weight, just not at the rate people would like me to, but I’m DEFINITELY making progress. It’s just a high metabolism has ALWAYS made weight-gain so difficult to me.

OKAY, THIS IS THE END OF THE TRIGGERING STUFF. I APOLOGIZE. THE REST SHOULD BE FINE. IF NOT, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

I’ll keep this bit brief, but I’ve discovered that I’m Autistic! I’ll keep it to only self-diagnosis, as if I had an official one, that could rip all sorts of rights away from me here in the US. I’ve got a mouth on me, so someone (anyone, really) could use such a diagnosis against me if they wanted (such as having me involuntarily committed, abuse as a patient at any medical facility, etc.) Figuring out how my own mind works has helped me a lot to a point where my husband says my mood has significantly improved.

And now, the important part relating to this blog: my practice.

This is... a lot. So I’m going to sort of keep it short because I definitely want to make more detailed posts on some of this.

I’m of Serbian descent; I’ve had the most cultural exposure in my family to Serbian Orthodox practices (it wasn’t a whole lot, because I guess my dad (who is where I get my Serbian heritage from) wanted me to be “normal” or something... the guy wants to be plane white-bread ‘Murican and tried to make me like that, too, basically), and after realizing how much of stuff in general is appropriated, I decided to back off from a lot of things outside of the safe stuff (like Tarot, color/candle magick, runes, etc.)

I also realized that on my mom’s side (she’s Irish, and the only Irish-American culture she has is getting to say that she’s Irish), I have actual colonizer’s blood in me, and that did not sit well with me at all. (Mom loves to brag about how we’re related to Andrew Jackson.... yeah...) I didn’t want to have any association with that at all, not even by accident. So I decided to educate myself a little regarding colonizers and the Americas.

And after I did lots of reading, I’ve come to the conclusion that, in my eyes, much of Christianity is basically a colonizing tool. And if anyone knows anything about Serbian history, it took 2 tries for that to take hold, which is precisely why much of the Pagan practices still remain within Serbian Orthodoxy.

So what’s my practice now? Welp, I’m still Pagan, I’m still a Lokean, but I’m gonna reclaim my roots and reform it. And by “reform,” I mean not only shedding the Christian aspect of it, but also adjusting the folk magick practices (so, for example, no sacrificing of animals). I’m going to do a separate post soon after this one about that, too. But I do want everyone to keep in mind that this is what I’m doing for me. I’m not trying to convince anyone to do anything regarding reclaiming their roots. If you wanna do it and have your reasons how and why you wanna do it, go for it! But I’ll be sharing what I’m doing (and plan to do, I’m still kinda in the beginning stages of it) so that others have an example in case that’s the route they wanna go.

I’m gonna end the post here, because I’m gonna start going all over the place. So once I fold laundry, I’ll make the next post all about my practice and what I am doing and planning to do in better detail (including what gods have left my life and who are sticking around!)