#I’ve got good new friends and good old friends and I’m piecing together bits of what I’d like my life to look like

[dogsworth]

Feeling a little strànge these days

[miniwheat77]

Army Green. (Ghost x Virgin!Reader.)

!CW! NSFW, Smut, Age gap (Reader is 20, Simon is 32), unprotected sex, p in v sex, virginity loss, animal getting hurt, Simon in distress, PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS BEFORE YOU READ. (Sorry if I missed any.)

It’s a sunny day, you’ve spent most of the day outside.

Mostly working on your yard, but you didn’t always mind. It did get rough sometimes of course, living alone and doing all of the work constantly. You lived in a pretty small house. It had a smaller yard, gravel driveway. It was fenced in. It was nice.

Sometimes the work piled up, getting busy, trying to pull yourself out of a funk. Especially because doing 100% of the work was new to you. Since you’d just gotten out of a serious relationship. It was a tough situation. You’d moved out with your boyfriend at 18. You were together for the better part of your teenage years, your first real boyfriend, the only serious boyfriend you’d ever had.

The break up was miserable and rough. The fights were bad, the messages were vulgar and laced with venom. It was a really rough breakup that left you damaged.

You went from a two person household, to one. Having to work more to pay the bills, having to pick up the rest of the household chores and somehow still stay sane. It was tough, but you managed. You had a few friends that helped you stay busy, and you were thankful for that.

You were sitting on your couch, it was the weekend and you didn’t want to spend all of it doing yard work. Your friends were supposed to be coming over and you were excited to spend the night with them. Just as you finished cleaning up your house, you heard a knock on your door. Knowing that it was your friends, you yelled for them to come inside. They walked in with all kinds of drinks and snacks in their hands, ready to have a good night.

“Dude, your neighbor is super weird.” One of them mumbles. “He wears a mask with like.. a skull face on it.” She mumbles. “Yeah?” You laugh. “Why does that make him weird?” You question her. “That’s all he ever wears. I’ve never seen him in anything else.”

“So what. Maybe he doesn’t want people seeing his face.” You shrug. “Whatever. I think it’s weird.” She shrugs. “Maybe he’s like.. super hot and doesn’t want people to know.” Your other friend smiles. “Maybe. Walk over there and find out for me.” You nudge her. Earning a laugh from them. “You’ve never met him?” She asks. You shake your head. “No. I’ve actually never even seen him, I didn’t know he wore a skull mask.” You shrug. They laugh. Eventually the subject changes.

Later that night as you’re sitting on the couch, you’re all about to go to bed. “What if your neighbor is super hot?” She asks again. “There’s tons of hot people, be specific.” You toss a piece of popcorn at her. “I mean.. what if he’s like super hot. You should talk to him.” She shrugs. “Um. I’m pretty sure he’s like 30.” The other one laughs. “Oh.. well damn.” She sighs. “What’s wrong with him being 30? Why would that stop me?” You ask. They both look at you like you’ve just called them the worst names known to mankind. “Jesus! You whore!” They laugh. “I’m serious! What’s wrong with that.” You giggle. “Just.. not your own age?”

“Maybe that’s why guys suck so bad. Maybe we need to branch out a bit. Go for the weird old guys that wear skull masks.” She wiggles her eyebrows at you. “Maybe.” You smirk. “Nah, I’m not trying anything with anyone. Maybe not ever after Wesley.” You roll your eyes. “Oh please, Wesley wouldn’t see a good girl if he got hit by one.”

“Clearly.” The other rolls her eyes. “It’s just because I wasn’t ready.” You mumble. Earning glances for them. “Ready for what?”

“Sex.” They perk up. “What? You were together for that long and never had sex?”

“No?”

“Why not?”

“Because.. I’ve never had sex before? And wasn’t ready?” You laugh awkwardly. They’re both staring at you in confusion. “Well shit. We didn’t know that.” They laugh. “Damn. Whole new perspective.” They laugh softly.

“Yeah, my poor ‘old’ neighbor probably heard those nasty fights, no way he’d fuck around with a girl like me.” You laugh. “Never know until you try.”

You roll your eyes. “Goodnight you two.” You laugh, walking back into your bedroom. You settle into your bed, eyes heavy as you fade into a deep sleep.

You hear whining outside, it startles you awake.

You look at your phone, it’s early. The sun has just barely risen, it’s still mostly dark. Cascades of blue painting the sky. You sit up, rubbing your eyes as you hear it again. It sounds like a dog in pain.

You climb out of bed, walking out to your living room. You can still hear it faintly. Your friends are still asleep on the couch and you open your front door quietly, peeking outside. It’s cold, chills creep up your legs and arms immediately, maybe a bad time to sleep in a tank top and shorts. You step outside, covering yourself with your arms as you look around for the sound you’re hearing. You notice the noise is louder now, along with rattling. You spot a dog, it’s got it’s paw stuck in your fence. Fairly close to your bedroom, that’s why you heard it.

“Shit-“ you mumble. You jog lightly to get to her. It’s your neighbors dog, you assume the one with the skull mask. “Hey, stop moving.” You mumble as she tugs to free her paw. You hear a door open and close behind you, noticing it’s your neighbor.

And he doesn’t have on a skull mask.

“Shite, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize she’d gotten out.” He says as he jogs to you. You can hear the gravel giving away under his feet. “It’s alright. No worries.” You mumble. You unwrap her paw. “It’s alright, I’ve got you.” You mumble. As she whines more. Once you free her paw, she frantically licks at it. “Let me see it darling.” You breathe, reaching your hand out. To your surprise she lies down, rolling onto her back so that you could get a good look at her. Your neighbor crouches down to check the rest of her as you look at her paw. “Just a scratch.” You smile. “Yeah, she’s a bit over dramatic.” The man laughs. “I heard her whining.” You laugh. “Yeah. If I accidentally bump her she’ll yelp like I’ve cut her leg off.” He smiles. His accent is thick and his voice is incredibly deep.

And your friends were absolutely right, he’s hot as hell.

“I don’t think we’ve ever met.” You stand up. He stands up with you, reaching his hand out. “I’m Simon.” You send him a smile. “Y/N.” He smiles. “Ah, and this is my dramatic princess Paisley.” He looks down at her. “Nothing wrong with a little bit of embellishment, gets the attention you need.” You smile down at her. He laughs at this. “Anyways, sorry for waking you, love.” You feel your cheeks warm at his pet name. “No worries, I’m just glad she’s alright.”

“Cmon, back to bed with you.” He nods his head at the dog and she walks with him back to their house. You make your way back to your door, stepping inside. You forget that your friends are there and they stir awake with the sound of your door closing. “Y/N? What are you doing?”

“My neighbors dog got stuck in the fence.”

“Is it okay?”

“Yeah she’s fine. But you were right. He’s hot as fuck.” You laugh. Walking passed them, going back into your room.

—

It’s been a while since you’ve had a day off, picking up extra shifts and doing more and more work so that you could afford your house. It was getting rough. You didn’t see much of your neighbor, aside from passing. He did always wear a skull mask which you found weird. Until you were up early and seen him leaving one day.

He was wearing full military attire, Paisley had on a vest and he was telling her to get into the back of his truck, that’s when it clicked.

His accent, why he was always gone, his large build, the mask. It all made sense now.

Your next day off, you’re sitting in a coffee shop with your friends and they’re making fun of you. It’s a gathering, an every once in a while coincidence that all of you had the same day off. “So what’s going on with everyone else? I feel like I’ve been talking about myself this entire time.”

“Not much.” Everyone mumbles.

“Oh, Y/N’s neighbor is smoking hot, I’m waiting for her to announce that she has a controversially older boyfriend.”

The girl next to you is loud when she says it, earning an elbow to the side from you. “Ohhhh. Tell us more?”

You roll your eyes. “I’ve talked to him once, his dog got her paw stuck in my fence, there’s nothing weird about that. Although he is very, very attractive.”

“It’s weird, he always wears a skull mask.”

“Oh!” You sit up. “I know why. I saw him leaving the other morning wearing full military gear. That explains the accent and everything.” You laugh.

“Accent?”

“Oh.. I forgot to say that? He’s British.”

Their mouths drop, and you can’t help but blush at your spaced information.

“No way, Y/N. If you don’t have sex with that man right now..” she laughs. “Oh god, I am not ready for that. I just got out of a shitty relationship.” You laugh. “Well.. just out of curiosity.” She sips her from her cup. “Just how much thinking have you done about Wesley since you talked to your neighbor?” She teases. You roll your eyes which makes them all laugh. “See!”

“Christ. You guys are ridiculous. I have to go do yard work.” You roll your eyes.

“Look sexy!” She calls out as you exit the building, your cheeks are on fire.

When you arrive home, you look up at the sky, noticing the brewing storm. Maybe today was a bad day for yard work after all. Just as you make your way inside, the rain starts to come down. You sit down on your couch, deciding to watch a show instead.

You lose track of time. You could hear the rain pouring down outside. Thunder making you jump slightly.

A knock at your door has you whipping around. You stand up, slowly making your way up to your door. You open it slightly, noticing your neighbor. He’s soaking wet. “Uh.. hi. Sorry to bother you so late. I just.. have you seen Paisley?” He asks. “Uh.. no I haven’t. Is something wrong?” You ask, opening the door up wider. “I let her out earlier and she never came back in. I think she ran off.” He sighs. “I’ve been looking everywhere and I can’t find her.”

“Let me put some shoes on, I can help.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.” He sighs. “No, she’s a good girl, I wouldn’t want something bad happening to her.” You smile. Once you’ve slid on shoes and a jacket, you’re stepping out into the rain.

Ghost notices your tattered old skate shoes immediately. If you’ve got a boyfriend, why isn’t he taking care of you? Ghost knows he’s seen a guy around.

Behind your houses was a huge patch of trees, that’s where the both of you decide to look first. You’re calling out for her, walking along. You part ways when you get into the trees. Calling out for her. You don’t see anything and it’s getting darker as you walk along.

Ghost is somewhere further away by now, he’s calling for her, but she isn’t coming. He stops with a sigh. “Christ, where the fuck are you, fucking dog.” He growls.

“Simon!” He hears you yell. “Y/N?”

“I found her!” You call to him. He quickly makes his way over to you, seeing you’ve got a hand on her collar. “Ugh, damn dog.” He breathes. “Home now!” He says sternly, Paisley bolts for his house immediately. “Sorry. You didn’t have to come out here.” He laughs. “I don’t mind the rain.” You laugh, walking towards your houses with him. “Not real good shoes for bad weather.” He laughs. “Oh psh these? They’re fine.” You wave your hand. “What, your boyfriend doesn’t spoil you?” He laughs. “Oh god, I don’t have a boyfriend.” You laugh. “What? Who was that guy than?”

“Uh.. well. He WAS my boyfriend. But.. it’s a long story.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.” He laughs awkwardly. “Oh it’s fine.”

“I’ve got a fire going in my house, if you wanted to dry your clothes out. You could talk about it if you want.” He shrugs. “Uhh. Sure.” You shrug. You follow him up to his back door, he opens the door up for you. You step inside and he shows you to his living room, where he had a pretty wood stove going. Lined with bricks. “Give me a moment.” His house was really nice. You wait before sitting down, not wanting to get his couch wet. “Here.” He passes you a towel and a shirt. “It’s an old shirt of mine.” He nods. “Thank you.” You smile. It’s Army Green.

He shows you to his bathroom and you change quickly, making your way back to his living room. You notice that he’s put your shoes on the tile in front of the fire to dry them out. You can’t help but smile.

He brings out tea and sets it down on his coffee table, sitting in the chair across from you. You pull his shirt down over your knees, making sure you’re covering yourself. Your panties had gotten wet and you had to take them off too. “Why did you guys break up if you don’t mind me asking?” He asks. “Uhh.” You laugh. “I found out that he was talking to a couple other girls. Meeting up with them and.. yeah.” You look down. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He breathes. You smile, looking up at him. He’s no longer wearing his mask.

“Honestly? I thought it would hurt more.” You shrug. “We.. I mean we’d been together for a long time but our relationship wasn’t serious. I didn’t really have any feelings towards the end, not after all of the things he said to me.” Ghost tilts his head. He’s curious.

“Uh..” you shift awkwardly. “I.. this is probably too much information but.. we never.. slept together. I just wasn’t into it, and he hated that I wasn’t. He said a lot of gross things to me.” You shrug. He nods his head. “How old are you?” He asks. “I’m 20.”

“How old was he?” He asks. “21.”

He smiles. “There’s your problem darling.” He laughs. “He’s just.. stupid and immature. I was at that age too. You’re too young to be worried about all of that anyways.”

You smile. “How old are you?” You ask. “32.” Your eyes widen. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, m’ an old man.” He laughs. “You do not look 32.” You smile. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” He winks.

“You need new shoes.” He nods to them. “Uhhh. Yeah. That has to wait.” You laugh. “Hm?”

“I can barely afford my house, those shoes will just have to do. They’ve done me good.” You smile. You move to stand in front of the fire, crouching to pet Paisley who’s laying in front of it. Ghost stands up too. “How about we check you out, make sure you didn’t get into something.” He breathes, rolling paisley over onto her back. He runs his hands along her fur. Feeling that she’s fine as he stands back up. He towers over you, and now you really feel how close you are to him. “I can help you get new ones.” He nods. “No.. that’s not your job.” You shake your head.

“Course not, you could work for it.” He smiles.

Your eyes widen. “Not- Jesus. Not like that.” He laughs. “Oh good.” You breathe out. “Had me worried for a second.” You laugh. “Got a dirty mind.” he rolls his eyes. “I mean.. if you babysit for me when I’m gone.” He nods. “I usually have her boarded at the base but.. they keep her cooped up a lot there.” He looks down at her. “Simon, I don’t mind watching Paisley. You don’t have to get me anything. She’s a good girl, I don’t mind.” You smile. He nods his head. “Thank you Y/N.” He smiles. “Of course.”

You’re warm from the fire, spinning around to warm your front. He does the same. Looking at the dancing flames through the glass. “Do you have a wife or anything?” You ask. “No.” He laughs. “My job isn’t good for relationships.” You nod your head. “Fair.” He laughs. “Why?” He asks. “I was just curious.” You say nervously. His smile is flirty, and you’re worried.

Not because he intimidates you.

You’re worried by how much you like it.

“You sure?” He looks at you, making you turn your head to look at him. “Mhm.” You smile. He takes a step toward you, making you step back.

Back hitting the wall with a gasp. “Might be overstepping here..” he laughs. “But he was stupid to fumble a girl like you.” He breathes. He’s toying with the shirt you’re wearing. You take in a shaky breath, looking up at him. “Simon.” You start. He tilts your chin to make you look him in the eyes, leaning into you. “Can I kiss you?” He asks. You part your lips, not saying a word. After a second, you nod your head.

He closes the gap right away, kissing you hard.

Your friends were going to freak when you told them.

You feel his fingertips gliding up your thigh and you gasp into his lips as he glides them over your bare opening. “Ah- Simon wait!” You breathe. Pushing him back slightly. “I.. I-“ you’re stuttering, not sure what to say. “I’m sorry, maybe I misunderstood..” he breathes. “No- no it’s not that. I.. I liked it. I just.. I’ve never done this before.” You breath, looking up at him. Your cheeks are burning, because his fingertips touching you is the first time a man has ever touched you like that. And this is only the second time you’ve ever interacted with him. “It’s alright.. I know you haven’t known me long.” He laughs. “No.. I don’t mean..” you clench your eyes closed. “I’ve never had sex before.” You sigh. He raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Oh.. well. I’m sorry I pushed you so hard, I had no idea.” He steps back.

“You didn’t. I.. I liked it.” You swallow hard.

He crosses his arms. “Have you ever been touched.. at all?” He asks. You shake your head. “Have you.. done anything at all? Like.. touched yourself?” You chew on your lip nervously. Shaking your head again. “I’ve tried but.. it’s.. weird.” You bring your hands behind your back. “It’s not weird, not if you’re doing it right.” He looks at you. The room is dark, the lights are dim and the fire illuminates it slightly.

“D-do you think you could show me? W-what it feels like I mean…” You look up at him.

“Yeah, of course. Cmere.” He tilts his head, reaching his hand out for you to take. He walks around his couch, pulling you with him. “Go ahead.” You sit down. “Lay back sweetheart.” He nods. You’re nervous as you lay back. “If you don’t like what I’m doing, if you want me to stop at all, you tell me okay?” He says. “Of course.” You nod.

He pushes the Army Green shirt up over your hips, you’re bare. Wearing nothing underneath.

He glides his hand up your thighs, feeling you shiver as he does. His fingertips gliding over your exposed flesh, rubbing over your opening. When he touches your clit, you flinch away from him. He forgets that you’re untouched.

Sensitive, easily stimulated. He chuckles. “Relax. You’re tense.” He breathes. He moves himself over you, pressing his thigh right up against your opening, hearing a gasp from your lips. He lowers himself on top of you, pressing his lips to yours again. You kiss him sloppily, cheeks flushed, your tummy feels warm as he rocks his thigh into you. You whine into his lips, raising your hips to meet him.

He pulls away from you, kissing your chin and down your neck, pushing the shirt up and over your chest. Exposing every part of you to him. The first man to ever see such sensitive parts of you. He attaches his lips to your nipple, hearing you gasp. You lift your hips into him, wanting more. But he takes his time with you. You’ve never felt this way, never been so turned on before. He finishes showing your nipples attention and moves lower, leaving a trail of kisses down your stomach. You’re nervous as he moves himself between your legs. He looks up at you, leaving a kiss to your thigh. One kiss to your swollen clit and you were done.

You let your head fall back, he pushes his hands up his couch, entwining his fingers with yours as he spreads your folds with his tongue. It takes just a few minutes and you’re crying his name out in the perfect symphony. Your stomach is moving with the way you’re panting and you can barely hold still. He moves his hands away from yours, holding your hips down. Sucking and lapping at your clit, pushing his tongue into you slightly. It’s an unfamiliar feeling. You can feel something building. “S-Simon. Feels funny.” You whimper, lifting yourself up to rest on your elbows. Watching him eat your pussy like it’s the sweetest ice cream he’s ever had.

You feel his fingertips gliding over your entrance, and you gasp when he pushes one inside of you. Curling it right into your spongy spot. You can’t hold yourself together, especially not when he adds another finger, scissoring them. A cry leaves your lips, it’s a desperate moan. Something that tells him that you’re just about to cum. You can’t say anything which is what he wants, he’s cornering you right into pure bliss, leaving you nowhere to go. It feels like your body bursts into flames when he works your pussy to an orgasm. The first of many that he’s going to give you. Your eyes are full of tears and clench shut as he works you through your orgasm. Until you’re sensitive and squirming. He finally pulls away from you, moving himself above you again, kissing you, letting you taste yourself on him. You’re breathing hard when you pull away, looking up at him. Like he’s just killed an army in your honor.

“How do you feel?” He asks. Your lips are parted, you want to say something but you can’t. He chuckles at your trance-like state. “It’s alright. I know it’s a lot.” He smiles, pulling the shirt down to cover you. Pulling you up until you’re sitting up to look at him. “I feel good.” You finally say, cheeks burning. “Good, I hope so.”

Your eyes are lost in him and he says something but you don’t even hear it.

He waves in front of your eyes, chuckling when you flinch away. Shaking yourself out of your thoughts. “You alright, space cadet? I wasn’t too much was I?” He laughs. “No.. no.” You giggle, “sorry.” You blush. “First time is always intense. I get it.” He smiles. Leaning into you. “Can’t wait to see how spacey you’ll be when I fuck that pussy for the first time.”

You swallow hard, eyes clenching shut. You’re quiet.

A laugh is what makes you open your eyes. “I’m only kidding. Relax.” He stands up. “Unless you want me to of course.” He winks at you.

“I know you have work tomorrow, I’m keeping you up.” He laughs. “Let’s get these shoes on you and I’ll walk you home.” He smiles. He kneels down onto one knee, reaching out for one of your shoes. It’s dry and warm.

You’re surprised at first.

He’s actually putting shoes on you, like you’re some kind of princess.

He helps you up, throwing one of his jackets over you and holding your clothes. The storm has passed now, it’s only dark. When you reach your front porch, he passes you your clothes. “I can go change and give you your shirt back.” You stutter when you say. He’s making you nervous. “Don’t worry about it. Keep it. It looks better on you anyways.” He smiles. You blush, looking down. “Thank you, for helping me find Paisley.”

“Of course. I don’t mind at all.” You smile. “Um.. t-thank you for um..”

“You don’t have to thank me for that.” He laughs. “Sorry..” you blush. “It’s alright. Get some sleep.” He smiles.

You smile. “Goodnight Simon.”

“Goodnight Y/N.” He nods. “Oh.. wait. Can I have your phone number? Since you’re willing to watch Paisley for me.” He playing his eagerness off. “Yeah of course.” You smile, walking toward your couch where you had left your phone. You pick it up and walk back to the door where he was waiting, passing it to him. He types his phone number into your phone and sends himself a text with it. “Awesome. Thank you Y/N. Goodnight now.” He smiles.

“Goodnight Simon.”

—

“You seem to be in a good mood LT.” Soap smiles.

“Something going on at home?” He smirks.

Ghost rolls his eyes. “Not now Soap.” He rolls his eyes.

“Who’s the girl, you’ve been checking your phone every 10 minutes.” He crosses his arms. Ghost sighs. “It’s my neighbor. I asked if she’d watch my dog. Stop being weird.” He shoves passed Soap. “Aw Cmon. I’m your friend.” Soap scoffs. “I tell you everything. I’ve never seen you act this way before.”

Ghost sighs. “Alright fine. Yeah, something happened between us and I don’t know what to think of it. But she’s kind’ve way out of my league.” He mumbles. “What do you mean by that?”

“She’s 20.”

Soaps eyes widen. “Jesus. A tad bit young don’t you think.” Ghost looks at him unimpressed. “She’s been my neighbor for a while, I thought she was older.” He shrugs. Soap laughs. “Nah, women just mature way before men do.” Ghost snorts. “Yeah. Well.. what I did with her last night I can’t really come back from.” He laughs. “Did you sleep with her?” Simon shakes his head. “No.. but. I don’t want to talk about it. Paisley got her paw stuck in her fence a few weeks back and I went out to check on her and she was helping her. Last night, Paisley didn’t come back when I let her out, so I stopped by and asked her if she’d seen her and she said no, but offered to help me look for her.” He shrugs. “So.. if you did stuff with her, why didn’t you have sex with her?” Ghost flinches. “She.. uh.” He laughs nervously. “She’s a Virgin.”

Soap’s eyes are wide. “Christ. You’ve got yourself into quite the situation Ghost.” He laughs. “Yeah. You’ll have to see her.” He mumbles. “Take me with you when you drop Paisley off for a mission sometime.” Soap crosses his arms. Simon laughs. “Alright. If you insist Johnny.”

“I’m good at reading people, I’ll tell you if she’s good for you.”

“She’s not good for me, I haven’t felt like this in forever.” Soap raises his eyebrows, a smug look on his face. “That means she’s good for you. You’re supposed to feel happiness.” He rolls his eyes. Ghost laughs. “It’s bad for a man like me. I’ve lost everyone, makes me vulnerable.” He mumbles. “So don’t lose this one.” Soap pats his shoulder.

Ghost shakes his head. “It’s never been in my control. But.. me being vulnerable, means that I can be very dangerous. So let’s hope this goes alright.”

—

“You WHAT?” She yells from the other end of the phone, you can hear her coughing violently on her coffee. “Uh.. yeah.”

“Did you have sex?” She asks. “What? No. He just.. he. We didn’t have sex.” You blush. “What’s gotten into you?” She squeals, making you laugh. “I don’t know. I guess I just really like him.” You bite your lip. “Damn. Who would’ve guessed. A 32 year old in the military is your type.” She laughs. “I know right. I don’t know. He’s.. ugh.” You sigh. “I’ve talked to him twice ever, and he’s already been so much fucking nicer to me than Wesley. I just.. don’t even know what to say.” You laugh. “That’s how you’re supposed to be treated Y/N.” She laughs. “Maybe he’ll be really good for you. Maybe you’ll get married and have a bunch of kids.” She snorts. You roll your eyes. “Whatever. I have to get back to work.” You mumble. “We’re not done talking about this. You’re telling me every detail later.” She mumbles through the phone, making you laugh. “We’ll see.” You say before hanging up.

You bite your lip.

You can’t stop thinking about the night before. What he said to you.

“Can’t wait to see how spacey you’ll be when I fuck that pussy for the first time.”

Your stomach turns and you feel yourself getting wet just from the thought of it. You needed to get your mind off of this. You stand up, heading outside to find something to do.

You’re sure you could find some yard work of some kind to do.

You look around your house, noticing the patch of grass by your driveway was mixing with gravel. You head back inside, changing into more comfortable clothes to do this task. Not paying any mind to whos eyes may be on you. Simon was meant to be at work anyways. You get a rake, raking the gravel back into it’s dedicated location. You needed to plant more grass seed, maybe line it with some spare bricks to keep the gravel away from it. It’d keep Paisley away from the fence to avoid getting her paw stuck. Simon really needed to fence his yard in to keep her inside. Although she was a pretty large dog, she’d probably just jump over it. You’re carrying bricks when Simon pulls up, Soap is in his passenger seat. “Is that her?” Soap asks. “Oh.. yeah. I guess so. I thought she was supposed to work today.” He mumbles. “Guess I’ll get to meet her sooner than later.” He smiles. You’ve got your ear buds in, not paying any attention. “We’re just checking on Paisley, get your head out of the gutter.” Ghost mumbles. As soon as Simon opens the door, Paisley bolts to your house. “Oh Jesus Christ, seriously!” He mumbles. Paisley attacking you with kisses, jumping on you catches you off guard.

“Oh my gosh!” You laugh. Turning your face to avoid her sloppy kisses. Simon and Soap approach, and you’re petting Paisley. “Hi darling, I’m glad to see you’re okay after your great escape.” You smile. When you glance up and see Simon walking toward you, another man behind him. “Thought you were supposed to be at work?” Simon asks.

“Ah, a bunch of offices flooded last night in the storm, mine included. So I’ve got a couple weeks off while they renovate.” You smile. “Ah, paid I hope?” He laughs. “Oh yeah. I would be out looking for another job otherwise.” You laugh. “That’s good though, a nice break.”

Ghost looks at Soap. “We just stopped by to check on Paisley. This is Soap by the way.” He nods. You look confused. “Did you say Soap?” You ask, looking at him. Soap laughs. “My name is Johnny, but you can call me Soap.” He nods, reaching his hand out. You take it, shaking his hand. Ghost feels jealousy boiling through him when he touches you. He doesn’t like that. “Civilians don’t get the nickname, Ghost.” Soap judges him. You tilt your head. “Ghost?” You smile, crossing your arms. “Nice. A weird duo but I like it.” You laugh. “I like the Mohawk too, don’t see that haircut much anymore.” You nod. “Thanks.” He smiles. “Oh no, don’t go giving the bloke a big head.” Simon rolls his eyes. “Whatever, I’m gonna go find Paisley. She’s nicer than you.” Soap rolls his eyes. “Nice meeting you, lass.” He smiles. “Nice meeting you too.” You wave.

Simon lingers behind. “Why’re you not relaxing?” He laughs. You blush, looking down. “Can’t sit down for too long or I’ll think about what you said last night.” You laugh. “Ah. That makes sense.” He laughs. “I can give you something else to think about if you want.” He chuckles. “Jesus Christ.” You roll your eyes.

“I think Soap is getting impatient, Ghost.” You call him by his nickname and he freezes up. He laughs. “Don’t call me that. Not unless you’re moaning it.” He turns to walk away from you, hearing you laugh. Mumbling a ‘Jesus’ under your breath.

—

As he works, training new recruits, helping out anywhere he can, preparing for missions. He thinks about you.

The jealousy he felt earlier with Soap, it worries him. He’s getting too close to you. He knows it. The last time he did this, he got hurt. Irreversible damage to him that he still suffers from. He needs to stay away from you, but he fears it’s too late.

You’re so kind. Naive in a good way almost.

You’re so nice, so sweet. Even Paisley likes you.

He can’t focus on work without thinking about you. Zoning out as he loads everything up. The way that you sounded with his face buried between your thighs, he thinks about how you’ll sound when he-

He groans out in frustration, earning a couple glances. He throws down the wrench he’s holding, cursing under his breath.

Soap and Captain Price exchange a worried glance as he storms off.

Soap can’t help but laugh when he’s gone, the door shut and latched behind him. “Something going on with him?” Captain Price asks. “Yeah, a girl.” He snickers. “Ah. Trouble in paradise?”

“No.” He laughs. “She’s his neighbor and they aren’t.. anything just yet. But I guess he had an encounter with her.” Captain Price nods. “Women. They’ll do that to ya.” He laughs, picking up the box of ammo and walking to the back of the Humvee. “Tell me about it.” Johnny smiles, digging through the box of tools.

Captain Price sets down the box of ammo in the back of the vehicle, swiping his hands off together to get the dust off of them. “Suppose I’ll go talk to ‘im.” Captain Price mutters as he makes his way into the office that Simon had gone into. He opens the door, seeing him sitting at the desk. He’s got a water bottle in front of him and it’s already almost gone. “You alright Simon?” Price sits down in the chair across from him. Hearing Simon sigh. “M’fine Price.” He mumbles. “Johnny told me a bit about your troubles.” He smiles. Ghost rolls his eyes at this. “It’s alright, maybe we can talk about it. Maybe it’ll make you feel better.” He shrugs. “What, is this a therapy session?” He jokes. Earning a snort from his Captain. “I’m serious, I’m a wise old man with a lot of advice.” He smiles, setting his hands in his lap. The dad energy that Price gives off warms Simon’s heart in a way. “I don’t know. She’s my neighbor and she’s a lot younger than me.” He sighs. “I just think I’m going to end up getting myself into something dumb with her.”

“Well.. what’s she like?”

“I.. I mean she’s nice. She lives on her own. She.. said that she just got out of a relationship.” He sighs. “Oh? Did she say why?”

“He cheated on her because she wasn’t ready to… take the next step with him.” Ghost shrugs. “Hm.. do you know anything about her background? How responsible she is?”

Ghost shakes his head. “Not really. I’ve only talked to her twice but the second time.. we were alone and things escalated.” He mumbles. “So.. you had sex?”

“No.” Ghost laughs. “She’s.. a Virgin.”

Captain Price’s eyes widen, and he shifts uncomfortably. “How old did you say she was?” He asks.

“20.”

Captain Price nods his head. “Hm.. well. What does she do in her spare time? Do you know?”

“She.. mostly just works so that she can pay her bills and hangs out with her friends.” He shrugs. “Do you know where she works?” Simon nods. “A bookkeeper for a construction company. She’s worked there since she was eighteen.” He nods.

“So.. she’s got a stable job.. can take care of herself.. she seems really mature.” Price shrugs. “I know it seems weird that she’s so young, but women mature a lot faster than men.” Captain Price nods. “You’re both consenting adults, who are responsible and can take care of yourselves.. I know you’re afraid of being hurt.” Captain Price sits up. “But you’ll never find your forever if you don’t put yourself out there and be vulnerable for others.” He smiles. Simon nods his head. “I know.”

“You’ll have to bring her around, let me judge her myself.” He smiles. Earning a snort from Simon. “Yeah, Johnny said the same thing.”

Price stands up, patting Simon on the shoulder as he goes to exit. “You’ll never know until you try, Simon. Don’t give up just yet.” He nods.

Simon sighs when the door closes behind him. What the hell was he getting himself into.

Later that day, Simon had come home. He didn’t see you and decided to leave everything be for now. Deciding to watch a show and drink a beer. Give himself time to relax, as bad as he wants to spend this time with you. He sighs, hearing Paisley scratching at the door, whining. She’s pacing back and fourth. “It’s probably just a Racoon. Down girl.” He breathes. But she doesn’t calm down. “Paisley, please. Give it a rest darling. I’ve just let you out.” He groans.

Nothing seems to calm her. He stands up, setting his beer down. He makes his way over to the kitchen to discard his empty beer bottles, setting them by his sink. He glances up through his kitchen window for a second, when something catches his attention.

You’re talking to a guy.

Not just any guy either, your ex-boyfriend. Ghost feels himself stiffen up, eyes narrowing as he looks outside the window. It seems as if you’re having a normal conversation with him. Ghost quickly moves to the back door, cracking it open and holding Paisley back as she tries to force her way outside. “Stop, sit.” He growls.

“Look.. I’m sorry okay? I miss you.” He hears him say it. Ghost can feel himself tensing up. "You need to leave. I won't ask you again." You breathe. "And if I don't?" He sighs. "What are you going to do hm? Nobody will come for you. You're just a stupid girl Y/N." He can hear him. He can hear you laugh. "Go." He hears you growl. "I'll tell the neighbor if you don't go." Simon's smile is too wide upon hearing that. "The neighbor? What, are you friends now?" He hears him scoff. "Come on, let's just talk baby, I can take your mind off things for a while."

"Simon!" You yell, Simon stands up immediately, ripping his door open and stepping outside. He can see that he's got a strong grip on your upper arm. When he sees Simon step down the few concrete stairs, he lets go. "Seriously?" He can hear him scoff. "She doesn't need you, go back inside and mind your own fucking business." He growls. Simon makes his way across his lawn, crossing the gravel of your driveway. "She is my business. She is now." He crosses his arms. "And if you want to leave here in one piece, I suggest you get back in your car and drive as far away as you can." He says it casually. "Yeah? Or else what?" He asks, making Simon raise his shirt up over his hip, not only does he expose his insanely fit body and v-line, but there's a pearl gripped pistol sitting in his waistband. A whistle leaves his lips and Paisley bursts out of his house, bolting to stand next to him at attention, staring your ex-boyfriend down. "Go." Simon nods.

He scoffs, shaking his head. "What, you fucking him?" He looks at you, teeth gritted behind his pursed lips, you glance at Simon before looking back to the ground, swallowing hard. "Some virgin huh?" He shakes his head. "This is fucking stupid, don't even know why I bothered with you." He growls. He walks down the concrete path by your door, walking around and climbing into his car, speeding off. "Go home." Simon mumbles to Paisley. "Hey. You okay?" He asks. You nod your head. "Yeah.." You shake your head. "I'm fine. Just.. yeah." You breathe. "Cmon, I'll make you some tea." He tilts his head for you to follow him. You nod your head, following after him. He leads you into his back door, closing it behind you. You notice Paisley laying in her bed in the living room. "I didn't think you'd be able to hear me." You breathe. "Was worried for a second." You laugh nervously. "Paisley was stressed out, kept harassing me. I happened to notice.” He mumbles. “You were listening?” You ask. “Just.. making sure nothing happened. Suppose it’s a good thing I was though.” He reaches up into his cupboard, shirt rising until you could see the Pistol grip.

You’ve never been more sure of anything in your life.

“Simon?” You say, stepping closer to him. “Yeah?” He asks, turning to face you. Once he’s close enough, you lean in, kissing him hard, cupping his cheeks so that he can’t pull away. “W-woah.” He breathes. “Are you okay?” He asks. “Just kiss me.” You pant. He sets everything he has in his hand down, returning his lips to yours and moving you so that he could pin you up against the countertop, feeling you moan into his mouth. He reaches down, grasping the back of your thighs and lifting you up until you’re on the countertop. You rest your hands on the countertop, pushing your hips forward. Like you wanted him.

“What’s gotten into you?” He asks. You pull away, looking at him, reaching forward and raising his shirt up. Getting a good look at his gun. “Nobody’s ever done that for me before.” You look up at him, taking a deep breath. “What? Told some scumbag off?” He laughs. “Defended me.” You breathe. “Seriously? Not ever?” He asks. You shake your head. “Please keep kissing me, Simon.” You whine. He leans into you, kissing you again. Stiffening up when he feels your hand on him through his jeans. He groans into his lips when you palm him hard through them. He pulls away, resting his forehead against yours. “Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?” He breathes. “Yes.” You whine. You sit up, reaching with both of your hands to unbuckle his belt.

He reaches down, hand gripping onto the cool metal of the pistol, setting it down on the countertop. Leaning in to kiss your neck as you pulled his belt apart and started on his jeans. You can’t help but glance at the gun as it sits there. You’re starting to realize just what kind of man Simon is.

A strong military man. A guarded one at that. He’s nice but gruff, quiet and observing. And something you’ve noticed since meeting him, since Paisley got stuck in your fence.

He’s protective of what’s his.

“Simon.” You pant. “What baby?” He breathes.

“I want you.” You breathe. “But.. you.. you’re..” he looks down between the both of you.

“Please, I want you to take my virginity.” You whine. Pushing your hips out. He takes in a deep breath. “Are you sure?” He asks. You nod your head. He pushes his pants down his thighs just enough to reveal himself to you, hearing you sigh when you see the size of him. “S’alright. Will only hurt a minute.” He moves closer to you. He tugs your pants down, discarding them to the side somewhere. Seeing all of you once again. He spits in his hand, focusing it on the tip of his cock. “Are you sure? Once I take it, it’s gone.” He breathes. “I trust you. I want you to take it.” You pant. He pushes your legs open, getting a good look at you. “Just relax for me.” Your heart is racing and he can hear it thumping in your chest from where he stands.

“If you let me do this..” he trails off, circling your opening with his fingers again, going to take his time stretching you out before he takes what’s rightfully his. “You’re mine.” He leans into you. Lips ghosting over your throat, right where your jugular vein sits beneath the surface. “Simon.” You breathe out.

“I think I was always yours.” You look him in the eyes, watching him stiffen at your sentence. Eyes darkening as he stares at you. “Fuck.” He growls, gritting his teeth. He presses the tip of his cock up against your entrance, tip pressing between your sopping wet folds. He forces you to look at him, taking his time thrusting every inch into you. He holds your throat, not cutting off your oxygen but just enough to hold you still. When your eyes flick down to watch him sink into you, he growls. “Look at me.” He growls. “Keep looking at me.”

“Simon.. it hurts.”

“I know baby.” He breathes. “S’alright, just for a minute. One minute.” He pants. You’re so tight on him, he can barely contain himself. He finally closes his eyes, sighing out as he bottoms out inside of you, hearing you cry out. He leans into you, holding you steady as he slides out, rocking his hips into you. “It’s alright. I know it hurts.” He takes in a sharp breath, hating that you hurt so bad, but he felt so fucking good. He keeps a slow, steady pace. Letting you adjust to him. He notices a little bit of blood, but it doesn’t bother him any.

“Simon..” you’re breathless when you say it. “Hm?”

“Fuck me.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I can take it, please.” You hiss, pushing your hips into him.

He wraps his arms around your waist, holding you tight as he rocks his hips into yours faster, a little harder than before. Pushing your legs up as he slides deeper into you, hearing a gasp leave your lips. “Oh my god-“ you breathe.

He keeps up this pace for a few minutes, letting you get used to him. The last thing he wants to do is hurt you.

“How does it feel huh?” He pants, voice unsteady and desperate.

“‘M fucking your pussy.” He hisses, feeling you tighten around him. “Took your virginity.” He breathes. “How’s it feel?” He smiles. “It- it feels so good.” You whine. ”I feel so full Simon.” You hiccup with watery eyes. “Yeah? That’s how you’re supposed to feel. Supposed to feel overwhelmed and good.” He chuckles. He rests his hands on the undersides of your thighs, gripping you and keeping your legs open for him. Smiling when he sees you gripping the countertop like your life depends on it. He lifts his shirt up more, showing off more of his toned stomach.

“Fuck!” You cry, letting your head tilt back. He’s picking up his pace, getting you so close. You can feel swirling in your stomach, feeling something building.

A pant leaves your lips and you move up, trying to adjust yourself. “Simon. Feels weird.” You gasp. He lowers his hand to rub at your sensitive clit.

Just a little bit of that and you’re crying out for him. Clenching hard around him, your pussy milking him for every bit of his spunk.

He’s panting hard, moans unsteady as he approaches his orgasm. He’s going to cum hard.

He slides out of you last second, pumping his cock until he finishes on your stomach, groaning out, his body jerking as he finishes. “Oh fuck..” he whines.

After a moment of coming down from your highs, it finally hits you. You’d really just given this man, who’s way older than you, way more experienced than you, who you aren’t even in a relationship with. Your virginity. You’re staring at him with wide eyes as he cleans your skin of his filth, making sure you’re completely clean, even wiping down between your legs. He wants you to be comfortable. He sighs when he sees your nervous appearance. “It’s alright. I know.” He breathes. “Cmon, let’s go warm up by the fire.” He breathes. Lifting you up and bringing you with him to the couch. He sets you down, throwing a blanket over you.

You’re silent for a while. Not nervous or upset, more content than anything.

Simon is so caring of you, and he barely knows you. Which tells you everything you need to know about him. That he’s going to be the best thing for you. That he’ll take care of you. He finally sits down next to you after starting the fire. Throwing an arm around you so that you could lean into his chest. “I’m sorry if I took advantage of you.” He breathes. Hearing you laugh. “You didn’t. I’m a grown woman, I know what I want.” You smile. “Well.. good.” He smiles. “I just hope you don’t want it to be a one time thing.” You mumble.

“I was wondering the exact same thing.” He breathes.

“I know you just got out of a relationship and all but.. you’re mine.”

You smile up at him. “Always.”

“Oh yes, one more thing.” He mumbles, standing up and disappearing up his stairs for a minute, returning back down holding a box.

“Here.” He smiles. You take it from him, confused. “Simon.. I told you not to get me these.” You look up at him. “Open them.”

You open the box up, noticing a brand new pair of shoes. You can’t even imagine how much they probably costed. “Simon this is way too much.” You laugh. “You need new ones, I can help out. Let’s see how they fit.” He kneels down again.

“You’re doing too much for me already.”

He scoffs. “What I’m doing is the bare minimum. You’re just used to below average darling.” He laughs, tying the laces. You can’t help but smile at this.

“Thank you Simon.” You breathe.

“Always.”

[akatsukinolola]

𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗧 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧┊ 𝗔. 𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡

ఌ︎. p. hockey player!abby anderson x f!reader // g. smut

ఌ︎. cw. SMUT [18+ MDNI— top!reader + bottom!Abby (dom/sub undertones), kissing, oral (a receiving), tribbing, multiple orgasms, spitting, hair pulling, fingering (a receiving), crying, overstimulation, reader talking abby through it] bisexual!abby, strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, confessions, owen is mentioned like twice (i’m sorry, but i had to drag him a little bit), mentions of alcohol, a sex fantasy daydream, mentions of masturbation, houseparty, lame text message thread, not beta’d n barely proof read— let me know if i missed anything!

ఌ︎. wc. 4.7k

summary: you got it bad for abby

𝗠𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧

ఌ︎. a/n: ahhhh, i’m so excited! this is one of the bigger pieces i’ve been working on. as always, constructive criticism is welcomed and appreciated! enjoy <3!

The smell of cellulose and stale coffee filled the campus library air.

While looking for a specific book on behavioral neuroscience, you decided to pick up one of your old favorites, Lord of the Flies. The stress of coursework and keeping up with sorority activities took its toll on you, so being able to curl up with a good book at the end of the day is a welcomed prize.

Just as your fingertips grazed the spine of the book, it was snatched away. Turning, you come face to face with the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen. Her dark blonde hair was pulled back in a braid that gave you a full view of her freckle filled face and strong nose. Looking further down, you caught sight of her broad shoulders and muscular arms. Her toned torso that led to her strong thighs. You looked back up at her blue eyes, to avoid being called out for gawking at her.

“I know you saw me reaching for that book,” you crossed your arms and cocked an eyebrow at the blonde.

“And I grabbed it first so, I guess you’ll just have to wait until I finish it,” a cocky smirk playing on her pink lips.

Not even in the mood to beg for the book, you scoffed and moved to walk past her. “Un-fuckin’-belivable,” you muttered under your breath. She stepped in your way, blocking you from moving any further.

“Okay, I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget I can’t be a sarcastic asshole to strangers.” she rubs the back of her neck with her free hand, her muscles bulging in her fitted t-shirt. “I have a five hour bus ride in the morning and I need one of the best books ever written to get me through it,” she explains. “However, if I promise to get it back to you when I get back, can we call a truce?”

You narrowed your eyes at her, searching for a reason to curse her out. But her stupid face and her stupid muscles and her stupid voice softened you up. You pulled out your phone and opened a new contact for her to fill out. Handing her the phone, Abby took the phone and added her contact, making sure to text herself so she can save your number as well. You put your contact in her phone as well. Tapping her shoulder with the back of your phone, you look up at her through your lashes, “I’ll be expecting that text, Anderson.”

+  +  +

It’s been a little over three months since you met Abigail Anderson who you’ve dutifully nicknamed Bibi. Exactly three days after your encounter in the library, she texted you asking to meet at the library so you could exchange the book. When you met up she had the book ready for you to check out as well as a proposition for lunch.

From there your friendship blossomed.

Outside of Abby’s practices and your community service you two spent nearly every moment together. Meeting up at the library or a local café to talk about any and everything.

The more you hung out with the blonde the more your infatuation grew. The post workout facetime calls when she’s shining with sweat and her muscles are plump. The way she gave you her undivided attention when you were together.

And if you’re being honest, there have been several occasions where you found yourself moaning her name as creamed all over your rabbit vibrator. Imagining what it would be like to feel the weight of her on top of you, feeding your pussy every inch of the silicone strap she chose for you. How it would feel to have her lips on yours leaving them swollen and dragging them down the column of your neck as she sucked bruises on your skin. Oh, how you’ve imagined her head between your legs, fingers pounding in and out of you, every thrust brushing against the spongy area deep within you. Her lips and tongue showing special attention to your clit as she brings you closer and closer—

“Hello?” Abby droned, waving her hand in front of your face to get your attention. The two of you had just finished an early lunch before her practice. You seemed to have slipped into a rather explicit daydream while waiting for her to return from the bathroom.

“Hi,” you gave her a sweet smile and playfully batted your eyelashes. Abby chuckled, shaking her head at your antics.

“C’mon, so I can drop you off,” she held her hand out for you to take. You slung your purse over your shoulder and took her hand as you stood from the table. You expected her to let go after you were up, but she held on as the two of you exited the building. As the two of you made the ten minute drive back to your house, you remembered something you intended to tell her at lunch.

“Oh yea, last night, my roommates decided to throw a party Friday night. I know you have a game, but I wanted to tell you anyway.”

“If I’m up for it, I’ll definitely be there,” she said as she pulled into your driveway.

“And if you’re not, maybe I can crash at your place?” you asked, leaning on the middle console with your head in your hands.

Abby leaned back in her seat, legs spreading slightly as her hands rubbed over her thighs. “Yea, of course you can,” ‘You never have to ask.’ she thought to herself as she looked you over.

You leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek and got out of the car. Ducking into the window you say your goodbyes telling her to text you later. As you walked to the front door, Abby watched your ass sway in your jeans that hugged your body so well. She ran a hand down her face, blowing out a puff of air, as that familiar throb between her legs intensified as you waved your fingers at her again before disappearing into the house. She felt like such a fucking loser. Ready to rub one out right there in the car from watching your ass as you walked away from her.

+  +  +

The last couple days have been pretty hectic. Your physics professor sprung a last minute quiz on the class. You had no time to mentally prepare for it and had you not done the reading earlier than you were supposed to, you’re sure you would’ve bombed it. On top of that, there have been several fights at the soup kitchen you volunteer at— someone almost getting stabbed with a dirty needle had it not been for the hired security. You were mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. All of the excitement you had for the weekend was completely swept away. All you wanted to do was hide away in your room so you could recharge enough to take on the next week.

But considering there was going to be a party hosted in your home tonight, you could only hope you would get a text from Abby saying how she was exhausted so you could go to her place. Your roommates were running around setting up for the party. Mila was rearranging the furniture, Bri was hiding all of your valuable and breakable items in the spare room and Cori was with you in the kitchen setting up the kitchen with snacks and drinks as you mixed together hunch punch in a ten gallon cooler that was gonna sit on the kitchen island.

You were pouring all of the juices and fresh fruit into the container before you opened three bottles of tequila to pour over in there. “Oh Lord, this bitch finna have us all in this bitch crip walking and hitting flips,” Mila said as you emptied the bottles.

“Girl, this is like 10% alcohol. It literally tastes like juice,” you playfully rolled your eyes.

“That’s what alcoholics say!” Bri shouted from the living room.

“Yeah okay, whatever,” you laughed.

It was after seven o’clock meaning that any moment now people would be pulling up. Just as you twisted and duct taped the lid onto the container, the first wave of people began to fill the open space in your home.

Time passed as you mingled and kept your eyes peeled, watching for any weird behavior. Whenever a party was hosted at your home, you and your roommates felt responsible for everyone’s well being so y’all weren’t afraid to beat somebody’s ass because they wanna start drama or can’t take the word “no”. 

Your phone vibrated in your back pocket. Checking the time, it was a little after ten o’clock and you saw a notification from Abby.

+  +  +

“Bibi, you’re not serious…” you asked in disbelief.

Abby had arrived at the party quicker than either of you anticipated. Already a couple drinks in, the two of you were in the kitchen sipping on the punch you made earlier.

Abby’s cheeks burned and she felt slightly embarrassed at her admission. Rubbing the back of her neck with her free hand, she nodded. “As embarrassing as it is to admit, I’m very serious.”

You threw your drink in the trash. Your hands rested on your hips as your tipsy mind tried to comprehend the situation. “So you’ve never had an orgasm?” you whisper yelled at her under the loud music. “It’s one thing to not cum while having sex, but you’ve never even made yourself finish?”

“Whenever I tried, I’d get overwhelmed and just stop. And my ex,” she rolled her eyes, “He didn’t give a fuck— don’t even think he actually tried.”

You nodded your head, taking in this new information about your friend. You felt bad. Everyone deserves to have at least one mind blowing, toe curling, back arching orgasm in their life and this poor woman has never had one. Grabbing the blonde by her arm, you jut your chin toward the back stairs and pull her in the same direction. The back stairs led up to the second floor, where your room was. A street sign in your favorite color with your first name in bold lettering hung on the door. Abby smiled as she read the sign Reaching into your bra, you pulled out a key and unlocked the door. 

You opened the door to your bedroom and invited her in, locking the door behind you and placing the key in the small bowl that held your car keys. The music playing from your sound bar drowned out the sounds of the party below. You dimmed the lights just enough to set the mood. Abby stood next to your bed awkwardly, fidgeting with her hands as she gazed around your room. The various plants you meticulously placed along with the cozy window seat make the space inviting. In her admiration, she turned her back to you. You eased up behind her, gently placing your hands on her waist. She leaned into your embrace and you began to sway her to the music. The previous song transitioned into Tinashe’s Spacetime.

Abby turned around in your hold and your hands slid underneath her fitted t-shirt. Your cool finger tips sent a welcomed shiver up her spine.

“Bibi, I’m gonna use your misery as an opportunity to tell you something really really important.” you looked her in the eye. Abby nodded, a silent encouragement for you to go ahead. Your cheeks puffed as you blew out a breath, “I’ve liked you since you stole Lord of the Flies from me. And when you told me you were bi, you made my little gay heart palpitate so bad I thought I was gonna pass out. And now that you’ve told me, you’ve never had an orgasm, I just wanna treat you so fucking well. Like, take you on dates and hold your hand and get matching nail art and go to your hockey games wearing a jersey with your last name on it,” you rested your forehead on her chest, digging your fingers into her back. The liquor may have given you the courage to admit your feelings, but it didn’t stop you from overthinking your alcohol fueled actions.

Abby’s warm hands cupped your face, angling it toward her own. Her thumbs swept back and forth on your cheeks as she looked into your eyes. She thought she would find eyes full of tears on the brink of spilling, but instead she found eyes full of something sincere, something that could be described as love if she read into it any further. Flicking her eyes down to your lips, Abby saw you anxiously gnawing on your bottom lip. She used one of her thumbs to pull your lip free and leaned in. Your noses touched, lips just millimeters away from each other. Your heart thumped against your ribcage as if it were trying to escape.

“Abigail, if you’re going to kiss me do it before my heart gives out,” you teased, unable to bear her silence. Without any hesitation, Abby pressed her lips to yours. One of her hands pulled you closer by the nape of your neck while the other slid into the back pocket of your jeans and gripped at your ass. You both moaned into the kiss, only pulling away when your lungs were in desperate need of air. Abby rested her forehead against yours, catching her breath. Her blue eyes opened, revealing blown pupils. Standing up straight, Abby’s strong arms wound around your waist and pulled you as close as possible.

“I want to take you on dates too, and hold your hand, and get matching nail art,” she laughed knowing she never gets anything more than a clear topcoat, “and I wanna give you my jersey to wear to my home games so when I look into the stands, I see the prettiest girl who I get to call mine.”

“Yours?”

“Mine,” she said with no room for argument. “My pretty girl.”

You damn near tackled Abby onto your bed. She kicked off her shoes as you tugged at her belt. Shimmying out of her pants, she lifted up and you helped her out of her shirt. When her back touched the plush comforter, you planted one of your hands beside her head while the other traced patterns on her neck and chest. “We don’t have to have sex, we can do whatever you want. I don’t want you to feel like I ambushed you with my feelings just to sleep with you,” you confessed.

Abby pulled you into a kiss, “I’m done waiting. I’ve been waiting since you gave me the death stare after I stole that book,” she looked up at you smugly. You nodded, pulling your lip between your teeth. ‘She wanna play games’ you thought to yourself. Standing up, you toed off your shoes. A cute pout played on the blonde’s face as you pulled your shirt over your head. Finally, shimmying out of your jeans you straddled the half-naked woman who looked real good splayed out on your bed. Abby immediately began to paw at you, touching every inch of skin she could reach. Her hands were perfect. The smoothness of her fingertips contrasting with the calluses on her palms from weight lifting and her time holding a stick.

All of your want for the woman was expressed through your shared kisses and touches. Your lips traveled from hers to across her jaw. You kissed down her neck, desperately searching for the spot that made her weak. She gasped as her back arched when you sucked on the junction between the column of her throat and collar bone. You bit down on the area, soothing the sting with your tongue, and continued to suck until a bright red mark that was sure to bruise later formed.

You kissed down to her chest, placing a kiss in between the valley of her breasts. You cupped them in your hands massaging them through her bra. “Is this okay?” you asked, looking up at her through your lashes. She nodded, making you shake your head. “I need to hear you say it,” you continued to tease her through the thin sports bra.

“Mhm, s’okay. It feels really good,” her voice was breathy.

Abby can’t recall a time she’s ever felt like this. Her cheeks, which she was sure had a pink tint to them, burned under your gaze. Every touch had her clenching around nothing and her clit throbbed, begging for any friction you were willing to grant her. When you asked if you could take off her bra, she hesitated. Having a naturally smaller chest as well as a muscular upper body made her feel somewhat inferior to women who were walking around with C and D-Cups— hell, even B Cups. When you tossed her bra to the floor, her hands were already covering her chest. She looked anywhere but at you.

“Abs, look at me,” you said. Hesitantly, she listened. Taking a hold of her hands you kissed the insides of both wrists, your eyes never leaving hers. You positioned her hands above her head, a silent instruction to keep them there. Reaching behind your back, you unclipped your bra, freeing your breasts from the underwired confines. “I’ll always wanna see this pretty body,” you kissed down the valley of her breasts. “You worked too hard, to hide it from me,” you licked over her left nipple, suckling until it pebbled against your tongue. Abby arched into your mouth, more of her breast pressing against your face. You showed the other the same love before pulling away. Her once pink nipples slightly darkened, courtesy of your mouth. Her abs flexed as you kissed down her stomach. When you began to suck bruises on her hip line, she tried to squeeze her legs together but your body prevented her from attaining any friction. A needy whine left her lips at you denying her pleasure.

Looking up at her you feigned a pout. “What’s the matter babe?” you teased. Your lips found the inside of her thighs as you laid your front flush to the bed. Abby grew needier as she sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth. Unhappy with her hiding anything from you, you bit her hard, teeth marks etched into her soft skin. Abby gasped at the pleasurable pain and the moan that your actions evoked had you rubbing your own thighs together. “There you go,” you cooed as you ran your tongue over the teeth marks left in her flesh, “You sound so fuckin’ pretty baby,” you placed a kiss on her clothed clit. Abby’s hips bucked against your face as her back went rigid. You saw her knuckles turning white from how tightly she was gripping your comforter.  “Don’t tell me that loser bitch never went down on this pretty pussy.”

Embarrassed that you had read the situation so well, she looked away. Raising up from your position, you came face to face with the blonde, lying under you. Grabbing a fistful of her boxers, you pulled them up until the crotch was stretching over her slit. The cotton rubbed against her aching clit and Abby's chest heaved as she tried not to scream. You took her jaw in to your hand and made her face you, “Baby, I’m tryna be nice but if I have to tell you to stop looking away from me again, I’m gonna fuck you until you cry,” you gripped her jaw just enough to convey the seriousness of your words.

“M’sorry,” she blinked up at you in a daze. 

“Don’t be sorry,” you kissed her lips and let go of her boxers, “Just trust me when I say I’ll take care of you, ‘kay?”

“Okay,” Abby nodded. and reached up she reached up to kiss you again. Your hand slipped past the cotton concealing her most intimate area. The slick that coated your fingers had you both moaning into the kiss. Abby’s hips bucked against your hand, chasing the pleasure she’d been craving. Removing your hand, Abby whined at the loss of contact. You sucked her essence off your fingers and swear you could’ve cum just from the little taste you got.

“Can I take these off?” you asked. Abby lifted her hips giving you silent permission. You looked over the blonde’s completely naked body and wanted nothing more than to worship her perfect body. With a chaste kiss, you laid back down, now face to face with her bare cunt. Sparse dark blonde hairs trailed from her navel to the hood of her clit. The landing strip was a nice touch.

Wasting no time, you licked a stripe up her slit. You both moaned— you at the sweet slick coating your tongue and her because your tongue was unlike anything she’d ever felt down there. Abby’s legs squeezed around your head and you didn’t bother fighting it, knowing that you would happily suffocate between her legs. You wrapped your hands under her thighs, to bring yourself impossibly closer to her pussy. A smile played on your lips as you flicked the tip of your tongue over her clit.

Abby was trembling. Your tongue expertly licked through her folds, gathering every drop of slick that dripped from her sopping hole. She didn’t know what to do. When you pinched her thigh, she loosened her legs. You spread her wet lips apart and spit on her clit. Diving back in you suck her engorged clit into your mouth. A wanton moan left Abby as she thrashed against your hold. One of her hands found your hair. Her fingertips found the roots of your hair and tugged. The sting in your scalp had you moaning and grinding your hips into the mattress. 

“Fuckfuckfuck,” Abby cried out as you roughly sucked in her clit. Dropping your head a little lower, you plunged your tongue into her drooling hole. You groaned into the sticky flesh as you lapped up every drop of her essence. Her wetness coated your lips and chin and leaked onto the sheets. Releasing one of her thighs, you eased two fingers inside her.

“You taste so good, baby. Could keep my face buried in this pussy forever,” you pet her clit with your tongue. You worked your fingers in and out of her opening trying different angles. A particular one had Abby clenching around your fingers and tightening her fingers in your hair. “Right there?” you asked. She nodded her head fervently. Taking her clit in between your teeth, adding just enough pressure to make it pleasurable, her legs shook.

“Yes, please! Right there— fuck, right there!” Abby cried as you continued to pleasure her. 

That familiar feeling began to wind inside Abby’s abdomen. That overwhelming feeling that had her running away from her own pleasure. She began to shuffle up the bed. Having none of it, you sat up and placed your body weight on top of her. You never stopped your ministrations as you came face to face with the woman once again. Abby looked up at you with her pretty blue eyes that have now glossed over with tears.

“Why’re you cryin’ mama?” you kissed her, the remainder of her juices still coating your lips. “Hm?”

“S’too much,” she tried to wiggle away from your hand.

“Uhn uhn,” you shook your head. You put your thumb on her clit, circling it as you continued to bury your fingers inside her. “Roll your hips up toward my hand,” you instructed. Nodding, Abby followed your instructions. With every roll of her hips the fire behind her navel began to grow. The lines between pleasure and discomfort were beyond blurred. “There you go. Chase it, baby.”

Abby’s eyes fluttered shut as she moved faster. You felt her walls begin to spasm around your fingers. “Look at me when I make you cum,” you ordered. Abby opened her eyes to meet yours. Your pupils were blown and glazed over with unadulterated lust. You looked at her with so much care, she could’ve sobbed then and there. Never has she ever been put first when I came to sex. But with you? She felt like she could get lost in your touch and showers of affection forever. Your words helped work her up.

“You can take it,”

“Just like that, babe,”

“I gotchu, ’m right here,”

It snuck up on her, taking you both by surprise. Abby’s eye rolled back as her orgasm washed over her. Her hips bucked wildly as wallowed in her bliss. You leaned in for a kiss as you continued to fuck her through her orgasm. Post orgasm Abby was a sight to see. Cheeks flushed, strands of dark blonde hair sticking to her dewy skin, chest heaving up and down, and her bottom lip wobbling. You placed a few more chaste kisses to her lips as you withdrew your fingers from her sensitive cunt. Not being able to stop yourself, you licked up the remainder of her essence from your fingers.

“You okay?” you kissed her forehead.

“Better than okay,” she nodded, that amazing smile coming into view. Abby leaned up to kiss you again, pulling you flush to her body. She ran her hands down your body, grabbing at the fat of your ass. Your whimper into her mouth had her drawing away. “What about you? You okay?” her hand continued to rub your ass.

“I’m good, don’t worry about me,” you lied through your teeth. You’d been throbbing since your first kiss and the stickiness in your panties had become rather uncomfortable. Despite all that, Abby was the priority for tonight. If it came down to it, you’d rub one out in the bathroom after she fell asleep.

“Babe, don’t lie to me. Tell me what I can do for you,” she kissed your neck.

You pulled your underwear down and kicked them off onto the floor. “Spread your legs for me?” you asked. Abby did as instructed. You spread your lips apart, revealing your swollen clit. Dropping your hips, you pressed your clit to Abby’s. Both of your moans echoed throughout the space. You rocked your hips quickly, increasing the friction. The sounds of Abby’s moans and your mixing juices pushed you further and further to the edge. As the knot in your belly tightened, you pressed your chest to Abby’s and stuck your face in the crook of her neck, kissing where you could reach.

The feeling of your soaked cunt on hers had Abby fucking you back. Your hips rolled together in tandem. That familiar feeling had made itself known again, but this time Abby welcomed it with open arms.

“Oh my— fuck! You’re gonna make me cum again,” Abby gasped as her hips stuttered.

Retreating from her neck, you kissed Abby hard. “Cum with me baby,” you gasped, “Wanna cum all over this pretty pussy.”

A few more rolls of your hips had you both screaming as your clits caught one another, sending you over the edge into a sea of ecstasy. You both continued to grind, using each other to prolong your highs. You were trembling like a leaf above Abby as you rested your forehead against hers, panting as you both caught your breaths.

Abby’s hands smoothed over your sides. She tilted her head back to capture your lips in a sweet kiss. Your hands found the sides of her neck, thumbs swooping back and forth over her cheeks as you kissed her back. “I’ll be right back,” you got up from the bed and sauntered into your en suite. When reentered your bedroom, Abby was lying there, hand thrown over her eyes with a goofy smile playing on her lips. She didn’t notice your presence until the bed dipped under your weight. You gently spread Abby’s legs and cleaned her up with the warm washcloth. Discarding the rag somewhere on the floor amongst your clothes, the two of you snuggled together under the soft sheets. You hooked your leg over her hip and drew her as close as possible.

Abby watched you with sleepy eyes. She felt content. Here she was, cuddled up with a woman she had been yearning for.

ఌ︎. a/n #2: if y'all have any thots or questions about hockey player!abby hit my inbox!

[s-che]

reporting from the Dream Library: Apocalypse World

After however many years of games pointing its direction, I finally played Apocalypse Worlds as the first leg of a long series of one- and two-shots I’m running over in the Dream Library, my weekly drop-in-game-and-design-chat discord. We’re starting a unit talking through some of the highs, lows, landmarks, and cul-de-sacs in the now fourteen-year long history of PBTA design — it’s looking something like an actual play book club. 

It’s an interesting journey to be embarking on — and I’ll talk a little bit more about where we’re going next at the end of this post — but, hey, first:

I fucking loved Apocalypse World.

Part 1: Big Thoughts & Caveats

Apocalypse World rules. That isn’t a particularly hot take, and it isn’t a set up for me to tear into the game later. I’m not being polite here. The game fucking rules. Every time I opened the book (I’ve got both a physical copy and a pdf of the second edition), I was confronted by some absolute sick nasty shit that slapped and fucked and went supremely hard. The game is good good good in a way that, tbh, makes me a little disappointed in a whole bunch of PBTA games that come after it and totally miss, imo, where all the cool shit in Apocalypse World came from. 

There’s a way in which, speaking as a mostly casual observer who was mostly not around during the big years of the PBTA boom (for those keeping score at home, I listened to Friends at the Table on and off from about 2016 on and played a handful of Dungeon World and Sprawl sessions as a result, but didn’t start actively participating in the blood machine we call design discourse until after I graduated college in 2021), what seems to get fossilized as the core of PBTA design, especially in the public pitch for various systems, is mostly the simplicity of the dice and resolution systems — make a move, roll 2d6+stat, partial successes, isn’t this so much easier than d20 rollover?

And, sure, those form a part of the marketability of PBTA, especially to a mainline RPG audience. But there’s more than just that in this book — a lot more — in a way which makes me upset that this wasn’t the shit I was hearing about at 17. Meguey & Vincent Baker have skill for designing with what you might call elegant maximalism in mind, a philosophy where you are constantly confronted — especially when handling the physical object — by a book which is impressive both in its length and in its density. 

Apocalypse World (like Under Hollow Hills, which we’ll be playing at the very end of our PBTA unit in the Dream Library) is remarkable both for the number of moving pieces and for the fluidity with which those pieces fit together. I understand why that kind of game, coupled with how easy it is to hack moves into something entirely new, leads to a design moment which emphasizes rules-light play, but — agh! There’s just so much more game in Apocalypse World than in so many of the games which build on it. The text calls for the MC to “barf forth apocalyptica” — and it feels like Vincent and Meguey have done something similar, here, cramming everything which makes the game interesting right into the text.

All that being said, I butchered this game in order to run it as a one-shot. Apocalypse World should not be run as a one-shot. There are lots of very funny forum conversations to be found, if you start looking online for advice on running Apocalypse World as a one-shot, where people tell each other not to run Apocalypse World as a one-shot. In several of them, especially on the old lumpley forums, Vincent chimes in and suggest not running it as a one-shot.

Unfortunately, the limits of trying to run a series of games in conversation with each other, in a reasonable period of time, with a rotating set of players means that I can’t play Apocalypse World the way you’re supposed to. I’m going to host it again later this month, and I may try to run that session as a a little more of an as-written Session 0 (or follow Vince’s advice on playing it con-style to the letter), but that’s getting a little close to what-comes-next talk, which I said I’d save for the end. 

All-in-all, I’m not terribly unhappy with the way my cobbled together one-shot went, but — as I talk through some of the points of friction in a moment — I’m going to try to keep in mind (and I’d like y’all to keep in mind too) that much of this is my fault, for breaking the game before we every played.

That being said...

Part 2: The Session

I had four players, who made characters ahead of time — except for Hx, which we did at the top of the session. None of them, as far as I know, had played Apocalypse World before. We got an angel, a battlebabe, a brainer, a hardholder out of it. 

There were strengths and weaknesses to prepping characters ahead — while it did save time and let us play harder and faster than we would have otherwise, I struggled at times with what felt like an almost immediate divide between player characters: the hardholder and the brainer on one side, the angel and battlebabe on the other. There wasn’t player tension or conflict — just folks interests going in different directions, which is 1. totally fine, and in fact can be fun to play with over a longer time and 2. probably my fault for giving players the full list of playbooks. Hardholder is good shit, but it’s also big and requires more prep than basically any of the others, and then grounds you in a world I wish we’d had time to explore longer. 

I prepped a holding, with the help of our hardholder Mother Superior: the Red Priory, an underground market in the tunnels beneath the ruins of a city-which-was, located on the remains of an interstate highway in the slow process of sinking into the burned and blackened mudflats left behind when the wetlands dried up. I prepped some threats: a gas supplier to the west and a gang called the Crow-Eaters who were picking off caravans to the east. And then we jumped into play, opening in media res. Mother Superior was stranded, hunted by the Crow-Eaters as he tried to make it back to the safety of the Priory, while our other players (Charmer the Brainer, Kerrbox the Angel, and Rapture the Battlebabe) set out looking for their boss. Again, a breach of how the game is supposed to run, but opening with something high-octane felt important when we only had a couple of hours to dick around in the world.

We had a brief encounter at a blockaded highway, some good chats about the safety and feasibility of offroading on a dried up swamp (don’t), and an absolutely miserable (in a good way) knock-down, drag-out shootout between Mother Superior and his pursuers, which ended when an escaping Crow-Eater rode headfirst into our other players’ search party and wound up getting dragged behind a bike some five hundred feet down the road, psychically interrogated, and imprisoned in the Red Priory. Having made it safe — but badly injured — back to the holding, we capped off the session — and our story — with an attack by the full Crow-Eater gang riding a souped up bulldozer and a fleet of bikes which Kerrbox and Rapture road out to deal with while Mother Superior drifted semi-conscious in a hospital bed, dreaming with Charmer about the Crow-Eater’s boss, Lady Magpie — who, at that moment, was dueling Rapture guitar-ax-on-chains on top of the bulldozer. Every step in the process was sick as shit. The combat felt great, the social dynamics felt great, the shifting scales of threat and tension as things amped up felt great — and even with a couple of players with pretty limited RPG experience, the game felt like it had an interesting answer (or a way to find an interesting answer) to every question we hit. As always when playing online, I did wish we were in person (flipping through a book around a table just feels better than flipping through a book on a discord call) and we ran into the usual hiccups with to do the move, do it type games: cases where players had an interesting image of what they wanted to try which the moves didn’t quite cover and cases where players knew what move they were angling for but I had to push them to frame it narratively — but both of those things are solved by familiarity, and would have been smoothed out if we’d gotten to play for longer. 

There’s a slightly paradoxical way in which a one-shot of a GM’d game tends to rely more heavily on the GM than long term play does, especially when the non-GM players haven’t spent a lot of time with the game beforehand. Even if you aren’t expected to have prepped as thoroughly as you might for a campaign, the labor of hosting and facilitating has a tendency to balloon in a first session, and there were a number of times when my players looked to me for answers when, in a longer game, I’d like to think they would have felt comfortable answering the questions themselves. Some of this is just players getting warmed up to the space and to playing with each other, but there’s another edge as well: I think some players have a tricky time feeling like they can claim authorial power in a one-shot. A one-shot is perceived as a kind of bespoke experience, something hosted by me for you — a perception which, I admit, I play into when I end a Dream Library session by thanking my players for joining me. I don’t know why I do that — I certainly don’t feel that need when I GM an ongoing campaign — but I do.

Apocalypse World is a great game for breaking this habit. Even as I over-prepped for the first session, limiting myself to developing threats (and the basic setting details worked out with the hardholder) meant there were moments when not only did my players ask me questions I didn’t have an answer to, but questions which I did not feel I was the right person to answer at all, and I passed authorship off — either back to them or to another player. Breaking up the authorial duties by making it extremely clear what the MC is and is not is a huge part of what makes the Bakers work tick — and something I’ve seen them do in other, even more asymmetrical games (like the excellent Wizards Grimoire zines which are on sale right now). 

On top of that, though, Apocalypse World gives you Agendas, and most importantly the command to “Barf forth apocalyptica” which I mentioned once already. In a one-shot, having a textual instruction to answer questions with the most grotesque, evocative, and apocalyptic answer we could find was an incredible mandate which changed the world in the process of play. The mudflats got muddier as we went, the Red Priory seedier. By the time we met her, Lady Magpie had discarded her original fit for a massive cloak strung with bits of broken metal and glass which clattered and flickered with her every movement. 

Apocalypse World enshrines the call to lean into the obvious answer into its text, reminding us that it is, in fact, fun to play in genre. It is fun to play in the trope. It is fun to make things strange and beautiful and frightening purely for the purpose of being strange and beautiful and frightening. It fucking rules.

I wish, again, that I’d gotten to play it longer, and watched the world get even weirder and more apocalyptic.

Part 3: What Comes Next

I’ve got another session of Apocalypse World that I’ll be recruiting for in the Dream Library basically as soon as this post goes up — then next month we’re moving on to Night Witches and Sagas of the Icelanders to talk a little about historical fiction and genre. The schedule beyond that has been laid out, but only tentatively (at one stage, I had games planned to run until next April, which is absurd, but I’m trying to keep things flexible and let the unit lead us where it does). If you’d like to get in on the action, shoot me a message! I’m not posting the link to the Dream Library anywhere publicly at the moment, but genuinely — if you want in, you should come on in. If you don’t want to play, you don’t have to play — we’ve got a little text-based book club talking through the games simultaneously to our unit, for folks who can’t make it but still want to talk games.

On the other hand, if you want to run a game you should for sure let me know. I’ve already got a few guest hosts lined up, and I can’t wait to see what they do. Is there a game you think is secretly the key to understanding PBTA? Something you’ve been itching to try, but never found a group for? A game you hate, but feel obligated to talk about anyway?

Come and join. We’d love to have you.

We’ve got fourteen years of design to talk shit about, after all.

[unknownbiscuits]

A poem I made while watching Yagsterr’s premiere last night

I had already posted it under the farewell video’s comment section over on YT, but I’m just reposting it here since I’m really proud of it.

I’m not gonna be able to watch the whole thing right now, but I made a poem while I was listening to the video. It’s very personal and deep, exploring my journey through Murder Drones and the fandom and how it impacted me throughout its lifespan.

Anyway, I hope you like this. Take care, guys.

New places, old faces

Hidden for what felt like ages

Unready, unsteady to see these people again

Never knowing, showing, not feeling where I’m going

Searching for a place to perch in this sunny, hot, humid school

Never never ever felt comfortable or cool

Until I found my old faces

They introduced me to a new place, a place that I’ve tried to picture in my mind before

Ice, snow, oil, robots galore

A small community, at least during the dance

Maybe I had found that place that would give me a chance

Haven’t felt this way since the underground tale

Hopefully this one won’t fail

Introduced to new friends, visible across tables and texts

Hooked, not knowing what’s next

But this place felt nice

Seeing new and interesting characters that I liked

Helping me understand the blue, red and yellow puzzle pieces with the golden retriever

Navigating the hallways and my classes with a crow on my shoulder, always watching forever

It was good, great even to properly traverse

That would be the end of this first verse

Would've been

That's when everything pǝddᴉlɟ

Felt like I was getting w h i p p e d

Over

          and over

                           AND OVER AGAIN

Some of my friends weren't what I thought they were

The ones that got closest to me hurt

He wouldn’t let me go I had no choice

But to hide again, no voice

Felt like I was

F 

 A 

  L

    L 

     I 

      N 

       G

Until the purple caught me

Purple, black, not ignoring

Neon eyes glowing, calming my soul

I had to perch on a new place, with a not-too-new face

Her face is still everything; it’s what kept me safe

Away from the sharp metal that looked shinier every day

The dirty black that looked cleaner every day

I leaned on her soft metal, as she taught me anew

How to walk, talk, do

She showed me lessons, building with my broken pieces of trust

She helped me live as I must, moving her perch from my shoulder to my head

No.

To my heart.

Of course, we both watched her journey together

For we knew that I had to move

We had to move together, or not at all

Watching her journey together

Learning new lessons both in and out of the snowy picturescape

She even helped me find new friends, ones that wouldn’t hurt nor tether

The community had since grown

Gifts being given across and forever

I know this place wouldn’t be the same without the people

Cause with more people, the show had a bigger easel

We spent countless days laughing and watching together

Me, the people, and her

Until we reached the absolute end of it

Did the fandom start to shift a bit

Some went, most stayed

For we knew there was more to play

And even though I won’t see any of her and the others officially, they’ll always live on

Unconditionally

They’re timeless, boundless, now left for us to continue with

Knowing this place…

It’ll be one for the myths

So thank you to the fans

The makers

Not the fakers

The artists

Always pouring their heart in this

To Uzi

For helping me not lose me

And most importantly,

To Glitch, Luke, Kevin, and Liam

For helping and feeding the fandom and allowing us to grow in the way we are today

For impacting countless lives, such as me

But I know

We’ll never leave.

As far as this poem, this is the final verse

But not the end of this universe

[alexanderlightweight]

I legit can't decide which amazing verse of yours I want to read more of currently so I'm gonna just do a little shortlist of themes for any that tickle your fancy, verse obviously is dealer's choice:

Legit anything that has Mirai being a badass in it.

The troublesome trio (Izzy, Jace, Clary) facing consequences

Alec realising more of the world loves him than he thought (could be Downworlders, could be Institute, anything)

The Fab Three (Magnor, Cat, Ragnor) up to shenanigans

I hope the new place is all set up and y'all are finally all settled in! Smushes to Nighshade.

we are settled in but i'm still unpacking for everyone so thats a bit slow.

Nightshade sends wiggles and cuddles!

okay so Magnus is mentioned heavily but this is the Fab Three (magnus is there in spirit) and it's in cider verse during the sequel it's a bit of insight because the first fic focused heavily on the problems alec was dealing with in the institute.

the sequel broadens out because alec's institute is stabilizing (except for the treason he's about to deal with) but he's got Mirai and is taking no shit so he's on a good path.

and so we start seeing more how the war and Magnus' actions are affecting those he cares about and how Magnus is dealing with valentine and how alec is working with him because honestly, they get more done together in a day than alec does with an entire clave retinue in a week.

this is kinda insight and also because imo it's why cat and ragnor were nearly completely absent season 1 (aka they were protecting magnus by not being targets and ragnor can't afford any interest in himself when he holds the secret keeping jocelyn unconscious)

<3 lumine

btw they are definitely having shenanigans and you learn about past antics

sequels name by saeth is: the choice of hope

-

Cat smiles at the fire message she’s still holding, fingers wreathed in magic delicately stamping out the gleaming cinders and preserving the piece of parchment so that it will withstand centuries to come.

Next to her, Ragnor is doing the same.

“Jem included the vows and the runes he was able to use,” Ragnor hums thoughtfully as he shuffles through the small file of notes that had discreetly been slipped to Tessa who then sent them to Cat who brought them to him. “It will add a magical boost to whichever of the rituals Magnus choses. I’ve narrowed it down to five that he can pick from.”

“If you were anyone else—” Cat teases, because it is true. If Ragnor and Cat were anyone else, then the liberties they’ve been taking with planning Magnus’ own consort ceremony without him would be considered scandalous. As it is, Magnus has left the planning to them because it is both safe and because he trusts them.

If they were anyone else, Ragnor and Cat wouldn’t be within a thought of this ceremony until it was ready to be witnessed.

“If he wants me to participate then he’s going to pick one of these five.” Ragnor crosses his arms over his chest with a huff, “I’m not getting bloody naked and romping on the meadow floor when Magnus is perfectly capable of gathering enough sex magic on his own without an entire orgy boosting him.”

Cat snorts, because he’s not wrong and from the small bits Magnus has had the time to share, she doubts he’s going to be willing to share quite that much of his nephilim husband with the Elders even without Ragnor putting his foot down.

“He won’t care what choices you give him,” she murmurs as she lets her fingers trace the penmanship of an old friend they now rarely see. It is a relief for all of them that despite eloping with a nephilim, Magnus had a friend and confidant there to take care of him and his boy. “At least this way, we won’t be trying to figure out a dual ceremony.”

“I would sooner kidnap them both and force an elopement than allow the clave and their minions to see how vulnerable Magnus is for his shadowhunter.” Ragnor gives anther sigh and then a softer smile crosses his face, “he looks happy. Content and healthy and this boy of his truly blesses us.”

Cat nods, because Magnus has become proactive in regards to his own safety in such a way that it’s stripped away the reckless anger he’s held since the Uprising. Magnus no longer wants to win at any cost, especially not if the cost involves himself. Magnus has a young, devoted husband who would be heartbroken and well, no one has ever denied or doubted the depth of Magnus’ protection regarding those he loves.

Magnus will not risk leaving his new husband vulnerable and alone, especially not one who is a shadowhunter. If something happened to Magnus, there is little doubt that the clave would do everything in their power to make an example of his husband for daring to marry a warlock, especially when the first ceremony was a nephilim one.

The knowledge and weight of that truth settles in Cat and Ragnor’s hearts with a deep relief. They cannot stay at Magnus’ side to protect him or ensure that he protects himself when their presence will only offer up more ways to target and hurt him.

Alec Lightwood is already in the spotlight of the coming war and he’s made it clear that his priority is Magnus’ safety, even to the detriment of his own position in nephilim society. He is a warrior. One who can and expects to stand by and fight at Magnus’ side. Guarding his back and his reputation and more importantly, his heart.

It’s a boon that Cat never thought she would be able to press as a balm to the worry she constantly feels for Magnus.

Aloe vera on a seething burn that soothes and cools and heals.

Meanwhile, Ragnor is frowning over seven different shades of warlock blue and Cat bites back a smile. Magnus will have no time to plan the ritual that will bond him to Alec as not only a spouse, but as a true consort of a High Warlock and an Elder, so Ragnor will take on that honor and Cat will help him when she has the time.

Well, she’ll come to Ragnor’s and watch him dither and fret while finally putting her feet up and taking a breathe and Ragnor will relax at the evidence that one of his dearest companions is safe and resting in his heavily protected home.

“He really is quite tall,” Cat frowns as she looks at the picture, “I think we should avoid anything too intricate. Magnus isn’t going to make it past the ritual and to the celebration if we don’t plan this carefully. He’ll complete the ritual and snatch his consort away to their bed if we don’t plan this right, and we need to plan this right. The Spiral isn’t aware yet that Magnus is bonding a nephilim, but you know they’re going to take this as an opportunity to see how sympathetic he is to warlocks in general, or if it’s only Magnus that’s an exception to his care.”

“You’d think they’d know by now that Magnus wouldn’t ever tie himself to someone who couldn’t respect and protect his people just as much as Magnus does.” Ragnor grumbles as he finally brings his choices down to a mere three pieces of fabric. “This one will bring out the gold in Magnus’ eyes, but this one will make his boy’s runes pop more.”

The third color he considers for a longer moment before he sneers and eradicates it from existence.

“Everyone is going to know he’s a nephilim. We don’t need to bring more attention to it. They’re already married by nephilim standards but we can add a few gold accents?”

“I suppose Magnus doesn’t have to wear platinum jewelry.” Ragnor wrinkles his nose, “oh dear, he’s going to want to go with abyssal metals, isn’t he? So he doesn’t clash with the gold.”

Cat can’t help her snort even as she takes the chilled glass of beer Ragnor has absently summoned and handed her. After the last few weeks, her favorite brew is a relief and refreshing in a way that Ragnor finds his tea.

“No one would ever believe that Magnus learned his fastidiousness and dedication to his fashion sense from you.” She teases and Ragnor takes the gentle mocking with a sniff.

“There is an art to being perceived.” Ragnor says — as he does every time this is brought up — “while we may not share the same flare or tastes, Magnus has ever been the most devoted and dedicated pupil. I’d say he’s far surpassed me in some ways,” here he chuckles fondly. “I am seen how I want to be and Magnus as he wishes to be. I’ll admit I was skeptical when he first created a persona for himself through how he dressed, but he’s long since grown into it and expanded it until it became the armor I hoped to protect him.”

Cat lets him have his memories as she summons several pictures that Magnus has sent her and enlarges them so she can better see the large hazel eyes and the soft expression full of adoration that she knows was directed at Magnus.

It’s a picture born from a memory after all.

“How much time do we need to allow between Valentine’s demise and announcing a date for the ceremony?”

Ragnor’s question makes her snort and then she laughs, unable to help it.

“We announce it at the same time? Depending on how involved they are with his death.”

“Oh, I do hope they manage to harvest Valentine’s heart—” Ragnor takes a sip of tea with a calm, happy smile, “one of my favorite rituals involves the heart of a mutual enemy. I’d love for Magnus and his hunter to be able to use it, all the blood makes it rather romantic.”

-

*my head canon is that ragnor is aro and therefore (like me) has a skewed sense on what romance is and because warlocks already have a skewed sense of romance... yeah. and he's who magnus went to for advice for a century or two before they realized that ragnor's understanding of romance was a little off even for warlocks. magnus doesn't care, his romantic inclinations may be different but ragnor was a good mentor and luckily alec is a shadowhunter, who have even worse understanding of romance

[iamyoursonly]

In another life (04/01/2023)

guys if this is poorly written please don’t come at me… i just wanted to write something during my exam and it turned out to be this and i actually liked it so i had to share the joy >:) so enjoy? Also it’s in his pov ;)

Maybe in another life, we could be together. Because in this, you and I are just friends.

Soulmates, is that what they call people that are destined to be together no matter what? I believed that you and I were. Since our bond were inseparable no matter our distance; no matter when we see each other; no matter who we fall in love with… But then when I finally thought I really had a chance with you, to love you forever and be with you, you fell in love with another man. That man is not good news according to me, but you didn’t listen to me. You married him and moved away, leaving me alone with my poor heart broken — because I fell in love with you.

Heart shattering, cracking and breaking up. You can hear the piece of my heart trying to reconnect with each other but failing, one after another did it continue to crack. Everywhere I see reminded me of you, first it was the good memories, then it was a good old reality check. Sometimes I wish I could just change reality and stop all this nonsense that’s going on, because he didn’t deserve you. You deserved better than him. But guess love really makes people blind.

Why would you leave for another man though? Why did you not listen to me? Thought our promises were real and we’d be ‘for lifers’ forever? Were you lying all along? All the ‘move in together’ and the trips and the gatherings never happened. For what? For you to play with my feelings? I’m pretty sure everyone has noticed by now that I have had feelings for you since eternity.

You invited me to your wedding, in Germany. I took a flight as fast as I could to attend and tears rolled down my eyes when I saw you walk down the aisle. The tears weren’t happy though, they were showing how sad I was that you weren’t mine. But I was so desperate to be yours, to be your groom. Because he doesn’t know you as well as I do, and I’m the one for you! Your soulmate!

Did you not notice every time I stole glances at you back in high school? When you caught me, you’d just smile and continue concentrating in class. I tried to believe that you may be in love with me and all this was just a prank, but you were already a married woman. I miss these moments, our hangouts, our story time, our daily check-in session, our daily bickering and most importantly — you.

Turning back, the time we had together wasn’t a lot, but it warmed up my heart no matter how cold my hands and feet were. Every conversation had engraved into my soul, and each time I remember them, I smile. No matter how old we’re turning separately, my heart was always for you.

I got married at 35, about ten years after you did. Because I tried to move on from you. My wife, she’s a famous runway model, actress and song writer, and makes more money than I could ever make my whole life. Did I win the lottery just because I happened to successfully ask for her hand in marriage? No. I never won. Because the price I’ve always wanted was you.

I invited you to my wedding, it was in Germany just like yours. And you were sitting on the front row with your husband and two of your children — they looked just like you. And you looked beautiful in that formal dress you wore, it really did show off your curves and how beautiful you actually were. You gave me your best blessings and wished us the best, and it took everything to not burst out in tears and put you in my embrace.

“Hey, congratulations on marrying such a successful queen.” You told me. And I could just fake a smile. You, I wanted you instead.

“Thanks! She’s amazing isn’t she.”

“She is!”

I hoped you’d feel a little bit sad about me getting married to another woman that’s not you, but you didn’t look sad at all. Was it because you’re trying to be happy for me? Or was I simply being delusional. I think the possibility of the second option happening is higher…

Sometimes in the depths of my heart, emotions swirl like a tempestuous storm, and tears cascade down my cheeks, their silent rhythm echoing the ache within. It is a bittersweet symphony that plays within me, for while my heart longs to embrace the one I desire, the realization of my own marital commitment casts a shadow upon my dreams. My wife would find me crying in my sleep and try her best to comfort me, I tried to cry it all into her arms but guess the feeling wasn’t the same when you comforted me.

“Love is the most twisted curse of all.” I’d tell all my students, because from my experience. It didn’t really go well. When it does, congratulations, you have won in life. But when it doesn’t, you’d just be forever indulging in this mess.

I wish to hear you calling my name everyday and that you were around me forever. Like when I call out to you, you’d respond immediately. Maybe in my dreams I could close my eyes and start to envision our next life together. Two children, one that resembles me and the other resembles you. And we’re living somewhere far away, so that we can finally enjoy the peace and quietness you liked. You’d call out ‘Satoru, Satoru’ when you needed me, and we could own a farm! Live on the bare necessities but be as happy as we could be. I couldn’t help but hide my smile as I think about this.

As of right now, I wish you were in my embrace instead of this bouquet of white roses. When I put them down on your grave, I could only pray that the next time we get old, we have to do it together. In another life, when I could finally call you my wife.

masterlist

[what-gs-watching]

"It's not my fault you're like, in love with me."

So while I was trapped in the house for days on end because of ridiculous weather, I kept whinging that I just wanted to get out and see the new Mean Girls. My sister was not surprised at all to hear it, assuming I would have gone the day it came out. 

Because I’m old, old enough that the original movie came out when I was a teenager and it was a big fucking deal. I remember going to the theater with my bestie and being completely obsessed. We all wanted to be Lindsay Lohan at that point, 2004 was a crazy time, and we were incredibly impressionable. So, Mean Girls was everything.

To be fair, it definitely wormed its way into the culture. My sixty-something mother-in-law knows ‘fetch’ and my metal headbanger favorite dude friend appreciates that on Wednesdays, we wear pink. Millennials get it. I’m honestly not even sure how many times I’ve seen it. If my life depended on it, I could accurately quote most of it.

So, I was excited to see the new one, and a little weary. 

But it was cuuuuuute, y’all. I purposely didn’t read anything about it, so I was slightly surprised that it was basically literally the same story, but I guess that makes sense. The whole schtick is that it’s a musical now, so I can roll with that.

One thing I will say though, it’s hard for musicals to make perfect sense. You lose some of the story by trying to flatten it into a catchy number. So it didn’t feel as comprehensive or fleshed out  as the original (which sounds insane because Mean Girls is just a story about girls being bitches, but still). 

I also really appreciated that they kept a good bit of the classic lines that everyone wants to hear. You have to have “stop trying to make fetch happen, it’s not going to happen” and “Yo go, Glen Coco!” it’s literally not Mean Girls without that. (LOL at the explanation though that 'fetch' is slang from an old movie.)

They did strip out some of the weirder aspects, leaving out the gym coach hooking up with one of the kids, which was sketch to begin with, even in 2004. And Karen trying to make out with her first cousin, which, yikes. So ya know, progress. 

But it did feel like they took some of the bite out of Regina. Like, I got that she was supposed to be mean, but there weren’t a ton of actions to reinforce that. Or even a ton of interaction between her and Cady. The frenemy-ship wasn’t fleshed out as much as I wanted it to be. 

On the bright side though, I didn’t expect the actress they chose for Regina. Body positivity, gang! And the cast was a lot more diverse. 

But, no one is ever gonna best Lohan at the role of Cady. Sure, New Cady was cute, and she did her best but honestly, she did not have the same kind of presence or charisma. But I’m probably biased as hell. Like I’ve said before, I just want Lindsay Lohan to get her life back together. 

ALSO, this is just me complaining, but I absolutely do not fucking understand fashion right now. Like, I just…I can’t. It’s weirdly 90’s, and it wasn’t cute in the 90’s originally and it’s not cute now. I was not in love with Cady’s “makeover” and that was one of the funner aspects of the original. Which could just be me projecting because I wanted to wear all of the shit that they did in 2004 but I was not that cool, gang. So now I’m the old guy who wants gen Z fashion to get off my lawn. It’s not their fault, but it’s still confusing. 

The point is, it was a fun way to spend two hours, and I love that Tina Fey and Tim Meadows reprised their roles. I will love anything Tina Fey does, forever and always. And she loves Mean Girls so much. So I’m going to, too. And I might bump “Revenge Party” because who doesn’t love a party that ends with a head on a spike? 

Did we really need this movie? Maybe not. But I suppose we can let the zoomers in on the fantasticness that is Mean Girls. Y’all can have a piece of the crown too, I guess - it’s just plastic, after all.

[kujo1597]

Alright! I’ve updated my fanfic. Posted some silly doodles after much frustration at Tumblr being a functional website. Bought a really cool Chun-Li action figure. Time for Jem! This is the last of the episodes that were originally Super Sunday shorts. It gets pretty crazy and it’s an entertaining way to pave the way for the full series.

When we last left off Eric hired a private detective named Malone who found Synergy. And after her highly advanced security system failed he smashed her with a chair. Now, I’m no Private I. but I feel like you shouldn’t be smashing the thing you’re supposed to be investigating.

Before you click on that Read More you should know that I not only hit the 30 image limit but I also embedded three videos. So this might be a slower load than usual.

Synergy contacts Jerrica to tell her that there’s an intruder and she along with her sisters spot Malone leaving Starlight Drive-In. Synergy projects a disguise on them where they look like cute old ladies.

D’awww look at them.

They follow Malone to the Bureau of Records where the self proclaimed greatest detective asks for the ownership records of Starlight Drive-In. Come on man, you must know who owns everything else with the word starlight in it.

Greatest detective my ass…

That’s okay because Eric has no idea either. EMMETT BENTON GAVE YOU HIS COMPANY CALLED STARLIGHT MUSIC IN HIS WILL! Eric! Jesus!

Anyway, Malone proposes the idea to Eric that Jerrica and Jem are the same person. But Eric brushes him off because he’s seen Jerrica and Jem together. Malone says that’s weird and tells Eric that there’s something spooky going on. And also tells Eric that he’d better hurry up and pick up the machine in the photo because it’s currently blowing a couple fuses.

Because he hit the machine with a chair.

Malone is very good at his job.

Jerrica and her family walk into where Synergy is kept and see that she’s in pieces.

But it’s okay! Synergy’s actual security system was pretending to get smashed by a chair. Upon seeing that Synergy is actually fine Jerrica tells everybody that they need to hurry up and move Synergy out of the drive-in.

Meanwhile we see Eric in a truck with Zipper and a new guy on their way to pick up the mysterious machine.

It is now a race against the clock to disassemble Synergy and load her up into a truck.

They pulled it off just in time. Eric is mad that he missed his opportunity to seize something important to uncovering who Jem is.

After bringing Synergy to Starlight Mansion they reassemble her. It takes a bit for Synergy to boot up, much like an old computer, and her first action was to turn Jerrica into Jem. And this leads us into the first music video of the episode.

She’s Got the Power. I like this song! I enjoy this music video. It’s a good time. It makes Synergy look really cool. She fires a bow and arrow made out of fire, sets off explosions, makes rainbows come out of her hands. And other neat stuff.

Let’s see what Eric and the Misfits are up to. Roxy is complaining to Eric and saying that he needs to do something. Which he does. The battle of the bands is coming up soon.

During this “conversation” Ashley knocks on the door and lets herself in. Pizzazz immediately starts criticizing Ashley, Stormer appears from… somewhere off screen. Ashley says that Pizzazz was never her friend and gives the $30 up. Pizzazz takes it without hesitation. And don’t forget guys, that was Stormer’s money. Well, she’s probably never getting it back.

Eric walks up to Ashley and asks who she is. Roxy calls Ashley a useless Starlight Orphan and this excites Eric. He’s hatching a plan and it’ll use Ashley. Eric sends the Misfits out of the room. Stormer didn’t leave at first but Pizzazz makes her come along.

We cut to Starlight Mansion where everybody trying to figure out what to wear. One of Kimber’s choices is Shana’s dress. As much as I ship Kimber with a certain blue-haired Misfits I actually don’t think she would look great in dark blue. Kimber has a handful of blue outfits but they tend to be on the lighter side. So I think Kimber should pick something else.

I really enjoy these lighthearted moments where everybody’s joking around and just having a good time. My big four year writing project might make you think otherwise, but I do enjoy levity.

The phone rings and it’s Ashley. She asks Jerrica to help her and says that she’s trapped. Of course she’s in Eric’s office and he tells Jerrica that Jem and The Holograms can’t perform and that Jerrica can’t tell anybody about this or else Ashley will pay the price.

After the commercial break (Did the short end with the phone call?) we see the band discussing the kidnapping. Jerrica tells her sisters that she’s not going to tell them what to do, but she’s going to meet up with Eric. Naturally everybody says they’ll come with Jerrica and this is when Rio knocks on the door. Jerrica tells Rio that they need more time to get ready. But Rio knows something up with Jerrica, they are high school sweethearts after all. But Jerrica insists and after a sigh Rio leaves.

Shana says that he could have been a big help but Jerrica doesn’t want to risk Ashley’s safety.

A quick change into Jem later and everybody heads out.

We cut to the Music Bowl and hey-

*squints* Nah, those are probably cardboard standees. Moving on.

Wait no. What? What is going on? Those aren’t standees! Cosplayers maybe? News broadcast talking about the event. And then we see a garbage truck getting loaded up and crushing things in it with menacing music. Hm. Let’s keep this in mind.

Eric dumps Ashley off with the Misfits and Pizzazz both has no patience for kids and is really mad at Ashley so she suggests sticking her into a trunk until the contest is over. But Ashley won’t take this lying down! She slips away from Roxy and Pizzazz and the two of them chase her all over the room. But unfortunately Roxy manages to catch Ashley and Pizzazz grabs her feet. They toss her into the trunk. Stormer isn’t too keen on this idea.

Pizzazz and Roxy leave but Stormer stays behind to calm Ashley down. Sadly before Stormer can let Ashley out of the trunk her bandmates return. They pressure Stormer into leaving Ashley behind. She looks heartbroken but decides to go with them leaving Ashley alone and yelling for help from Stormer.

But she won’t be getting help.

Oh look, it’s my favourite person. And Pizzazz is flirting with him again. She says that Jem’s not coming to the competition.

Ah! Sudden image quality boost! Anyway, I decided to embed the last two music videos of the episode. I knew from the beginning that I'd embed Jem's song from this competition but I decided to embed this song as well. I wasn't going to because these posts are so image heavy and I don't want them to take fifty years to load for people.

I really like this one. It’s one of the few Misfits music videos from this batch of episodes I find myself returning to somewhat frequently. Pizzazz’s singing voice was provided by Ellen Bernfeld who did a really great job. I praised Britta Phillips in the last episode recap and I need to give Ellen props too. We get a better showing of her abilities as the series goes on. She really captured Pizzazz’s attitude and energy. A perfect casting. All the musicians did great work on Jem. I applaud them. The backing vocals in Taking It All are also really good.

One of the things Pizzazz takes is Rio. She can have him. Haha, kidding. God that relationship would be a fucking disaster and everybody around them would get dragged into their fights.

Or maybe it could be like multiplying two negative numbers together and how that makes a positive number. Their awfulness cancel out and somehow turn into something really good. But that is extremely not something that would actually happen.

Besides, at this point in the story Rio is still a decently solid guy.

Okay, now to catch up with Jem and The Holograms. Eric sent them to Starlight Drive-In. Jem’s pretty angry that Eric kidnapped one of her girls. Remember, six months have passed since the first episode which gave Jerrica plenty of time to form a connection with Ashley. It probably isn’t much of one considering how Ashley’s been feeling during these last six months. But it’s enough to make Jerrica protective.

As everybody guessed it is a trap. Ashley isn’t even here. But Eric, Zipper, and his goons are.

After demanding to see Ashley and not getting her Jem elbows Eric in the chest so hard that he collapses. It’s great. Good on her.

She tries to make an escape, leaving everybody behind, and Zipper pursues her on his motorcycle. He eventually catches Jem who had ditched her car. And Synergy starts shouting out Jem’s real name through the two-way communicator in the earrings. Thankfully Zipper is on a loud-ass motorcycle so he can’t hear Synergy. Jem removes the earring and throws it like a shuriken.

I wish I could say that she was throwing it at somebody as a weapon. But alas, no.

After the commercial break we see Eric going over his plan to win by default. What a coward, he’s not standing with his band. He doesn’t have faith that they can win on their own merits. And maybe at this point in the story they can’t.

And why is that? Well, the original concept for The Misfits was that they suck. They can only get sales and beat Jem by cheating. If you listen to the audiobooks you’ll get a lot of this. Constant telling kids that The Misfits are a garbage band. Which honestly makes me feel bad for the kids who watch the cartoon and do like their music. It’s basically telling those kids that their tastes are trash and that they should like Rude Jem instead. Fortunately in the show The Misfits actually improve as a band and become a really talented group with a ton of excellent songs. The Misfits actually put work into their craft and it shows. Stormer does most of this work. But still! They don’t need to cheat later in the series. They just have fun doing it. It makes them feel more like rivals and I wouldn’t be surprised if this shift was to actually legitimize them as the rival group.

Plus you know, I’m sure a lot of budget went into the music for the show and they probably didn’t want to pay musicians to sound terrible. Even these early songs are still well performed.

Tangent over. We see the Misfits exit the stage and Howard Sands explains the applause-o-meter to everybody. And the Misfits did pretty good.

Eric states the stakes to Rio and Danielle and Rio knows that Eric pulled something to keep Jem from performing.

He grabs Eric by the collar but Howard breaks it up.

Now we cut to the drive-in and Zipper tells one of his goons, the fat guy we saw earlier, that he shouldn’t open the door. No matter what happens.

And back to the battle of the bands a forklift is hauling the trunk Ashley was locked in. And for some reason this perfectly good trunk is set to be demolished by the garbage truck from earlier. What’s wrong with the trunk? Why are they destroying it?

Anyway, deep down Stormer isn’t a horrible person so she shouts out that Ashley’s locked in that trunk and Rio pulls it off of the forklift before Ashley meets her end. Rio lets Ashley out and she tells him Eric’s plan. Howard tells Rio that he only has fifteen minutes to rescue Jem. Though judging by the audience even fifteen minutes will be too much of a wait.

Back to the drive-in, there are less cuts in the rest of the series, thankfully, and Jem hatches an escape plan. She makes sure with Synergy that she understands. Because boy howdy is it ever complicated. I'm going to link to it here so you can watch it too. (Assuming it's not blocked in your region.)

Oh god, this makes me laugh every time. Okay, first part of the plan, LIONS. They start screaming about lions being in the building and Synergy projects a pack of lions running towards everyone. Zipper is understandably freaked out by them and runs to the door screaming. But Dumbo isn’t opening the door, he’s following orders. Then part two of the plan, remember that earring Jem threw earlier? That’s being used to project a bunch of cops at the drive-in. So now Dumbo is panicking and trying to get inside. But Zipper is trying to get out.

Unfortunately Synergy’s specs aren’t as good as she claimed because the cops vanish. But not before Zipper sees that the girls have escaped.

Part three of the plan. Project Jem and The Holograms in a random place to distract Zipper as the real ones run towards the door. I think. Well, the door is fake so maybe the Holograms trying to escape were fake too. This is hard to follow. Zipper and his goons run straight into the wall. And now for sure the real girls are trying to escape.

We know this is the real people because Zipper grabs Kimber’s arm.

I don’t know if this was part of the plan, but Synergy makes Jem, Aja, and Shana look like Eric Raymond and they tell Zipper to let Kimber go, and when he doesn’t they throw a crate at Zipper.

Now more cops!

But Dumbo isn’t falling for it this time!

Oh wait, this is a real cop and Rio. Dumbo gets put in handcuffs and Rio enters the warehouse. I’m just going to call it a warehouse. He sees everybody just calmly sitting around. They greet him as if nothing’s happened.

And hug and a kiss later Rio tells Jem that the contest is about to end. She takes a second to pick up her earring before they drive off to perform the last song of the episode.

Well first I have to point out that Rio is driving a police car.

When we see the stadium Howard is telling everybody that Jem won’t be performing because she didn’t arrive on time. But wait! We hear the beautiful sound of Jem singing. Eric is extremely unhappy.

Music is Magic is really good. Really really good. Please do listen to it.

I recently watched an interview with Britta Phillips and she talked about how when she was recording for Jem she was quite young and her singing voice was loud and high. The director for the singers, sorry don’t know the term, kept asking Britta to sing louder and higher. And she had trouble with some of the songs. But she nailed it almost every single time. It’s impressive as hell. Like, damn she knocked it out of the park as Jem.

To nobody’s surprise Jem wins the contest. The applause-o-meter completely fills up. Even if the Misfits were written like they’re actually a good band with real musical ability they would have lost. That high note Jem hit sealed their fate.

Stormer and Roxy are in shock and honestly kind of dejected. But Pizzazz is their leader and smacks them on the shoulders and tells them that they are going to get even some day.

With the triumph at the battle of the bands we cut to Starlight Music. Jerrica and Rio go up the elevator to celebrate her victory over Eric.

But wait! Eric is in the office! Jerrica demands to know what he’s doing there. And also wonders how he isn’t in jail. Eric says that lawyers can do amazing things if you pay them enough. And then well, I’m embedding the video because getting a screenshot will be very difficult.

He backhands Jerrica in the face and she falls to the floor. Rio is not going to take this sitting down so he punches Eric square in the jaw and sends him flying. This scene didn’t air in every country and I totally get why. We have a grown man smacking a teenage girl in the face. When I make my other Jem posts I take screenshots from the uploads on the Jem Italy YouTube page and noticed that this scene is missing from those uploads. So I’m guessing Italy is one of the countries it was cut for.

And we end the episode on a high note. Jerrica and Rio embrace while looking out at the city. Jerrica vows to make Starlight Music something that he father could be proud of. And then the couple kisses.

That’s where the Super Sunday shorts end. Boy, what a ride. The main series gets a little less crazy than this. It still has its moments but it’s also overall a lot more grounded. I hope I do post these more frequently because at the rate I did these first five episodes it’ll take years for me to do the entire series.

Hopefully in future recaps I won’t be pushing my fanfic as much as I have been. Though that being said it did earn a couple Kudos since I started posting these. So it has gotten some attention. And I did start doing this to get back into the Jem fanfic writing mindset. And it's helped! A lot! I'm basically done writing that darn wedding.

In the next recap you guys will see an improvement in how the characters were drawn. The show looks a lot less janky and some characters get some redesigns. Some more drastic than others.

[themollyjay]

Am I The Asshole For Refusing To Die?  (AITA D&D Edition)

First some Background.  When I(25f) was 12 years old, a gang of monster hunters broke into my dad’s lair and killed him.  My mom and I escaped through one of the secret passages he’d built into the lair, while my dad was busy roasting the monster hunters with his lightning breath (dad was a 2000+ year old Bronze dragon).  After my dad was killed, my mom and I ended up settling in a small town with an active smuggler community.  Mom ended up as the top lieutenant to the head of the largest smuggling operation in the city, and I was one of their best forgers, so it was a pretty sweet set up.  Not as nice as living in a dragons lair, but still, we were doing pretty well.  I even got a nice Tiefling girlfriend. 

About 8 years after my dad died, I was out for the night with my girl, and this guy, call him Smugface (fake name) killed my mom, her boss, and all the boss’s lieutenants.  I found out about it the next morning when I found one of Smugface’s goons dumping my mom’s body in the trash outside her boss’s headquarters.  I killed the good and took his gun, then loaded up my mom’s body in a stolen wagon, and buried her next to my dad in his lair.  Then I went back to town, swearing vengeance on Smugface for killing my mom.

The whole experience messed me up.  I broke up with my girlfriend because I thought maybe Smugface hired her to lure me out of position so it would be easier to kill my mom and her boss, and since Smugface took over the smuggling ring, I was out of work, and had to take jobs smuggling stuff across the desert instead of on ships.

Since then, I’ve built up a good reputation as one of the best couriers on the sand sea, but I can’t go more than about four months or so without Smugface sending someone to kill me, which is annoying.  But every time I send a piece of one of his goons back to him to let him know I’ve killed his latest assassin, he acts like I’m the one in the wrong.  I’m like, ‘Hello, they were trying to kill me.  What am I supposed to do, just stand there and not kill them first?’

Seriously, I just sent back the fifteenth assassin’s ears about 6 months, and word on the street at the time was that Smugface upped the price on my head by another hundred gold pieces.  I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong.  Dad always told me that if anyone tries to kill you, you kill them first.  I’m just trying to follow dad’s advice, but after the fifteenth time Smugface has thrown a fit, I’m starting to wonder, Am I the Asshole for non dying?

Edit:  I know I said he usually sends a new assassin once every four months, but the city state we live in got caught in the middle of a civil war, and that’s been taking up most of Smugface’s time, while I’m trying to destroy the death cult that engineered the coup that started the civil war in the first place.

Edit Number 2:  For those who are asking, no, it turns out my girlfriend wasn’t working for him.  I found out recently that Smugface was trying to kill me that night.  Turns out the head of the monster hunter gang was actually one of the leaders of a cult worshiping a death god (same one that started the civil war at home), and they wanted me dead because killing me with break a magic spell that was cast a thousand years ago to imprison their death god.  The GF and I got back together.  We ever have our own flying ship now.  My GF is the captain of the ship, and my other friend and I are leading a coalition of 7 armies to kill the death god.

Edit Number 3:  Guys, the bit about leading an army wasn’t me bragging or anything.  It’s the shittiest job you can imagine.  Long hours, high stress, people trying to kill my all the time (that part isn’t *too* different).  I’m a fucking mailman.  I have no idea what I’m doing, but everyone looks at me like I’m some kind of champion out of the sagas, off to save the world.  I tried to explain that I won the last battle by sitting on the general of the opposing army, but everyone thinks that’s impressive somehow just because I turned into a dragon first.  I’m like, “Hello, my dad was a dragon, how is this not normal?”, but everyone still looks at me like I’m some sort of hero, when all I want to do is crawl in a nice, damp seaside cave and nap for a couple of centuries.

[heavendear32]

A White Lie—C.Yj

Pairing: Choi Yeonjun X Fem!Reader

Summary: you have a perfect reputation, smart, kind, clean-cut but also boring. So you decided to spice your life up a bit but when a rumor gets too out of hand, life comes crashing down or a easy A-ish fanfic with Yeonjun

Word count: 5,352

Warnings: sexual themes, mentions of sex (no smut), swearing, mentions of underage drinking, sexual assault, reader is a bit manipulative, angst, prostitution (if you squint), lying, Virgin!Reader, a little fluff at the end.

“If you’re watching this you probably know who I am but if you only know me for my bra size or as the whore of the school then hi I’m Y/n Y/l/n and welcome to ‘the rumor-filled totally false account of how I ruined my flawless reputation.’” You said as you picked up a piece of paper that held what you just said

You weren’t sure how many people were watching but you hoped it was enough to get back some of your old reputation, “no more lying because I’ve learned how far white lies can go and I hope that with what little respect you have of me, you’ll listen and understand. there are two sides to every story and this is my story….the right one, and it begins during spring break.”

You never wanted spring break to end, you didn’t want to go back to your mundane and boring life you were use to but the clock kept on ticking down until you would be just Y/n again. There had to be something more to life, and so you made a plan. When you went back to school, you weren’t going to be just Y/n Y/l/n, you were going to be the Y/n Y/l/n. The plan started with a new look, some makeup and new clothes as well as a new attitude and some more confidence but the thing that was going to pull it all together was the story. You had gone to Busan, staying with your aunt and uncle (which was true) and there you had gotten new clothes and had a nice expensive vacation and went on a date with a really cute guy. Just a little white lie to make you seem rich and cooler, that was all, nothing too crazy and nothing that could get out of hand right? Boy were you wrong.

❤︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎

Standing here, in front of the school made your heart race. You were a nobody, a nerd, invisible to the opposite sex, just a background character in someone else’s story but not today you were going to make sure of it. Quickly you took a deep breath and closed your eyes.

“You got this Y/n, just be confident.” You whispered to yourself before you started walking towards the crowd

You tried remembering how to look confident, just the small things like don’t slouch and keeping your chin up and taking larger steps. The thing you weren’t too worried about right now was eye contact, the sunglasses gave you a “mysterious” feel and it was already working, a few kids stared and looked confused or surprised as if they hadn’t seen you before. Maybe you could be someone new and just go by your middle name, it could’ve worked if you hadn’t ran into someone. Your eyes went wide as you looked down at who you ran into, Jeongin was on the ground.

“Sorry about that.” You said in a calm tone as you reached a hand out. The boy stared up at you for a second before saying, “Y/n is that you?”

You smiled and nodded, I.N grabbed your hand and stood up. His eyes wander your body and a confused expression cover his face and all he could say was, “you look different.”

“Thanks.” You smiled. “It was good seeing you I.N. You should tell me about your spring break sometime.”

Before the boy could say anything else, you had started walking away. This was going to be fun, I.N was friends with Beomgyu who was one of the most popular boys in school and in high school secrets never stay secret.

“You went out with a boy!” Y/f/n squealed you giggle and said back, “yes but you don’t need to scream it out.”

Your friend quickly grabbed you hand and pulled you into the bathroom watching the door as it closed.

“Tell me everything that happened. Did you do it?” She whispered before gasping. “You totally did it, didn’t you?”

You were stunned for a bit, you didn’t mean to lie but how far could a little white lie go? So you answered, “yeah maybe.”

You laughed as you watched your best friend freak out. You calmed her down, wondering if their was anyone else in here.

“Shush, you’re so loud!” Your friend didn’t care but you both stopped hearing one of the stall doors unlock

Your eyes looked up seeing who was also in the bathroom. The only person you absolutely hated, Hae-won the religious and control freak of the school. She glared at you and your friends turning on the water, it was silent except for the water running.

“What are you staring at Virgin Mary?” Y/f/n snapped at her

“Some whores of Babylon.” She said and smiled before grabbing some paper towels and walking past you making you roll your eyes as she hit your shoulder

That day was better then most other days. You were noticed more, and once in class you asked for a pencil and 10 guys pulled one out. The next day was different, your lie about your virginity had become the talk of the town and you heard the rumor being spread in whispers. It was funny, before you were invisible now it seemed as though everyone knew your name.

Your heart raced and you felt like you were finally popular, the only downside was that you’d have to face Yeonjun at some point but you’d cross that bridge when you got to it. You had never felt like this before, and boy did you have fun with your new popularity. To Hae-won’s dismay, people liked you and it became easy to mess with her and also get things you wanted. The popularity was going to your head but you hadn’t had this fun in forever, you weren’t a monster though. You tried to use your popularity and lack of virginity to help your friends, particularly one guy you knew.

A guy named Si-woo who was gay and bullied by everyone. You used to talked to him, years ago when you were kids and before everyone became homophobic. So one day you were talking to him in detention (you got because you gave Hae-won a taste of her own medicine, she insulted you and you insulted her back but you were the only one who got detention), he asked how you got popular.

“How did you do it Y/n?” He asked

“Did what?” You asked as you looked back at him

“Become popular.” You just shrugged as he added, “I wish I wasn’t gay so I would get bullied.”

“Just act straight.” You doodled in your notebook

So-woo looked confusedly at you, “and how would I do that?”

“I don’t know, sleep with a girl.” You snapped at him

Detention moved by slowly but you were glad that you were talking to an old friend. You had told him that his house was always open and you were always there to talk, and so it wasn’t weird to see him in your room asking for a favor but you didn’t know that the girl he wanted to sleep with was you.

“No!” You said to his request

He got onto his knees in front of you begging, “please Y/n, help a friend out.”

“Si-woo, you do realize I’m a girl.” You pressed your hand against his chest. He stared up at you for a second before shrugging, “so?”

“YOURE GAY!”

You couldn’t believe what was happening right now. You didn’t think that lying about loosing your virginity would lead to a gay guy asking to have sex with you.

“What if we don’t even do it and I just say we did it?”

You leaned closer to him, “no!”

“I’ll pay you.” Si-woo begged even more. “I don’t want your money. Si-woo just leave.” You yelled at him

“I know I should just be myself and people will like me for me but I’m sick of getting bullied and I just wanted to be normal for once. I just thought that out of everyone, you would know what it’s like. I’ll see you at school Y/n.” He sighed sadly as he got up and started walking towards the door.

You had changed your clothing, your attitude, and your confidence but sitting here watching as your friend looked so sad after asking for help, one thing you knew you couldn’t change was your heart. You sighed and rolled your eyes calling to him, Si-woo stopped and turned around.

“I want a gift card to My Boon and you tell everyone I’m amazing in bed.” You said watching as a smile covered his face

“Thank you Y/n, so what do we do? Do I go and tell people?” He asked

You shook your head, “no if we’re going fake sleep together, we have to do it right. Lisa is throwing a party tomorrow night, all the popular people and your tormentors are going to be there. That’s when we’ll do it.”

❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎

Si-woo fidgeted nervously next to you, the party was down a block but your car slowed to a stop. The boy looked at you confused on why the car had stopped.

“Are we walking the rest of the way?” He asked

You turned to him, “let’s get the plan straight, we’re going to walk into the party together and acting drunk, I will ask Lisa for a room, and we’ll go from there okay?”

He nodded and gulped harshly as you added, “just follow my lead and don’t do anything stupid.”

The car pulled up to the house, music was blasting from the inside. You had been to Lisa’s house once before, you almost had your first kiss here but back then it seemed so much bigger, her house was already huge but it seemed like a castle when you were a kid. Si-woo quickly got out of the car and stood by you, it was silent for a second as you thought some more.

“Okay.” You finally said. “Put your arm around me and laugh like you just said something funny.”

Si-woo nodded and put his arm around your shoulder letting out a laugh that would sound real to anyone drunk. You pushed open the door, kids lined the halls and looked at you and Si-woo. They whispered and shot confused looks to each other, as you walked through the house. You stumbled a bit making it seem as if you already had a drink. Lisa’s eyes found you and she held the same confusion everyone else had.

“Hey, Y/n you came along with….Si-woo.” She said as Si-woo answered with a half fake ‘what’s up’

You giggled a bit, “I hope you don’t mind but we did have a few drinks before coming over.” You leaned forward closer to Lisa and said loudly. “Talking about drinks, Lisa, Si-woo was just telling me this really funny thing which was really funny and I was wonder if there was like, a room where we could go so he could finish telling me that thing that’s really funny, if you know what I mean.”

You smacked your lips before saying the last little bit. It was half to creep her out and half to make a point, Lisa pulled away and told you to use her room. You let out a squeal and drunkenly thanked her as you wrapped your arms around her. She pushed you away and quickly turned wrapping your arm around Si-woo and walked towards where her room was. Everyone started talking and walking after you, you smiled and slammed the door in their face locking it.

“Close the blinds.” You said to si-woo who rushed over and did what you said

You hands ran down your hips and under your dress as you pulled your panties off. Si-Woo’s face went red as he saw.

“Relax don’t get your panties in a twist.” You said turned to the door hanging it over the handle covering the key hole so it made it harder to see

Once you were sure no one could see you clearly you walked over to the bed and patted a spot next to you. You told him to grunt but as he did it sound more like he was constipated or going through labor.

“Moan.” You hissed at him. “Like, sex noises.”

You lightly hit his face and he let out a noise that was somewhat convincing. You smiled and nodded telling him to continue making that noise.

“Oh yeah.” You moaned out. “Oh fuck!”

You chanted those things over and over again before pulling him up onto his feet.

“Don’t stop!” You said as you started jumping on the bed and whispering to Si-woo to say something

The boy panicked and said, “I’m gonna turn you around and take you from the back.”

“That’s not gonna make people think you’re straight.” You told him as you stopped jumping. “You just sound like you want to fuck a guy.”

“Never mind that gayness because I’m a straight guy.” You rolled your eyes at Si-woo, there was no way he was straight

You continue moaning, saying any cuss words that came to your head that would sound natural. After a couple more minutes of doing the same thing over and over again, you grabbed Si-woo’s shoulders.

“You ready for the grand finale?” You asked with a smile as he nodded

This is going to be fun, you said to yourself as punched him in the groin. Si-woo fell to his knees as he yelled out in pain and you yelled out as well, “fuck!”. You should panted as you jumped off the bed and walked over to the boy who was still writhing around in pain.

“Come on, get up.”

He slowly got up and walked over to you, he was still groaning in pain. You messed up his hair and his shirt.

“Go forth as now you are a man.”

He grabbed your wrist, “thank you.” He said before walk up to the door which still had your panties hanging on it. You quickly grabbed them and stuffed it into his pocket.

“Evidence.” You told him as he opened the door

Everyone scattered as he walked out of the room. You were still catching your breath but walked out of the room a few seconds later, you needed a drink. Pushing past people, finally you reached the kitchen and started pouring yourself a drink.

“Y/n?” You heard your name so you looked up seeing Yeonjun

You smiled, “oh hey, Yeonjun.”

“I thought you hated parties.” The boy sighed before taking a sip of his drink

You bit your lip and fidgeted slightly, “yeah.”

It was awkward, standing here staring at your old best friend. You took a sip of the drink you poured yourself, feeling your cheeks heat up as Yeonjun looked you up and down.

“You look different.” You looked down at his words, Yeonjun was right. In any other circumstance you would never wear this dress and you weren’t sure how you weren’t trying to pull it down over your knees every second

“Does it not look good?” You ask getting self-conscious about the dress and did it get shorter?

“Uh no-no it looks good, you look amazing it’s just I’ve never seen you wear it.” Yeonjun answered. “I was also wondering if you wanted to hang out with me and my friends.”

You looked over at where he was pointing seeing the rest of his group, they were still the same. Taehyun had his arm wrapped around some girl, Soobin was arguing with Beomgyu and Kai was lost in dreamland. You forgot how much fun you had with them, smiling before looking back at Yeonjun.

You sighed, “I wasn’t going to stay long, thank you though.”

He quickly replied with, “well then let me take you home.” You smiled at his offer but seeing that he had been here longer he must’ve had more drinks then you so you shook your head. “I’m okay I’ve only had one drink. It was nice seeing you Yeonjun.”

You turned from him and walked through the halls and back out the front door, Si-woo had forgotten about you and now off somewhere so you just left. You felt bad for leaving Yeonjun but even now with your confidence boost you weren’t sure you could talk to him.

Si-woo kept his word, you got your gift card and the rumor spread to say that you were sensational in bed. The only bad thing was that your reputation of the clean cut good girl had been tainted and now you were known as the whore of the school or the better known one: a dirty skank. That should’ve thrown you off the path that you were going down but all you could think was “fine, I’ll be the dirtiest skank they’ve ever seen”

And oh if Hae-won could see your closet now, she’d have a heart attack. All your long sleeves had been thrown out, anything baggy was dumped, and now heels were your best friend. On every hanger was a corset, some black, some pink or white or blue but all your clothes had one thing in common: the scarlet ‘A’ decorating the barren design. It was supposed to be “a sign of shame” but it made you feel powerful.

❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎

The expression on your classmate’s faces were priceless, they all stared at you but no one stood in your way. A smirk on your face as you didn’t stop, hearing as they whispered before toying with some boy and it only became easier now.

In class, no one could pay attention to the teacher. At lunch, boys crowded closely around your table with their mouths wide open and Hae-won couldn’t even keep her eyes away from you. Glaring and always saying something about how she was praying for you. This was fun but your reputation suffered more and more, the good girl who had perfect A’s became more faded as “the whore of the school” surfaced.

The funny thing was that you never expected to make your “lack of a v-card” a job but one day a boy you barely knew, In-Ho a guy you used to be a mathlete with, asked you to do what you did with Si-woo saying that the boy told him the truth. You refused at first but what happened with Si-woo happened again and seeing that boy who asked for your help sulk away made the Y/n before the lie come back out so you agreed, and so you got an $100 gift card for second base.

That second rumor spread faster then the first and basically by the end of the day, you were in for business for those who actually knew and that happened to be a lot. Nerds, losers, and anyone who were like what you used to be, invisible to the opposite sex and you had a stack of gift cards from all your ‘clients’ but the more deals you made the more you just wanted romance. You wanted something from a kdrama, you wanted Hyung-Sik caging you in between his arms so “the world couldn’t do anything to you”, or Lee Seung-gi letting you dance on his feet, you wanted Song Kang to tell you that you were so pretty it made his heart flutter. All you wanted was to feel loved, you didn’t ask for much but even if it was just once, you wanted to feel like you were in a kdrama.

One with romance and a really good soundtrack. You could dream all you wanted but you weren’t the female lead in “Love alarm” or “Strong girl Do Bong-soon” hell you would’ve even taken “Vagabond” if it meant that you ended up with a man like Lee Seung-gi but hey you got to get one shampoo free if you bought another one so it wasn’t all that bad right?

Hae-won had started a group what you liked to call the ‘kick the fallen down’ group whose whole job was to torment you and try to get you kicked out of school. For once, since the whole lie started you felt hopeless and you had never felt more alone. It was funny, you were popular enough to have people saying that they slept with you but no one made the move to actually sleep with you. So you found yourself at another one of Lisa’s big parties, this time staying longer as you chugged down another drink trying to forget the whole shit-show going on with your life until a familiar face walked up to you.

“I’m starting to think you were lying about hating parties.” Yeonjun said

You smiled sadly, “yeah well the booze is nice and also gotta keep up my reputation.” You hated that stupid lie, but it had become you now so you had to run with it wether you liked it or not

“Me and some other people are playing seven minutes of heaven, seeing as you…um do you want to play?” Yeonjun cleared his throat in the middle of his sentence changing the topic, you didn’t know it hurt worse when it came from the guy you used to be friends with and your crush

You took another swig of your drink and nodded walking over to where they all sat. Beomgyu sat next to Soobin, water dripping from his hair and clothes and a towel had been thrown over him telling you that he had jumped into the pool. Some other guys and a few girls sat talking to each other grouping up leaving you lonely once again. Yeonjun sat down by Beomgyu and the game started, Beomgyu spun first going in with a girl next to you and by the expression of the girl once they exited nothing happened.

You watched as most of the people playing took their turns, Yeonjun’s turn came (hoping that the bottle landed on you but it didn’t) and passed until finally it was your turn. You took a deep breath and spun the bottle, it slowed to a stop landing on Jae-Hwa. You weren’t upset on who it landed on, there were worse boys but you were hoping it landed on Yeonjun. Slowly you and Jae-Hwa climbed the stairs and Beomgyu closed the door behind you, the time started now.

It was awkward for a bit as you stood in that room staring at Jae, he was nice and kind. You fidgeted a bit as Jae started talking.

“I’m glad that it landed on me.” Jae said taking a couple of steps closer to you as you smiled up at him, “oh really?”

He was inches away from you as he reached into his pocket pulling out a gift card as he said, “I’ve got something for you.” You looked at the gift card, it was a LINKO gift card. “200 dollars to LINKO.”

You put on a fake smile and gulped harshly, “I didn’t know this was a-“ you couldn’t get the rest out, to sad at the fact that the one time you thought someone had liked you it was just another business exchange

“I know it sounds kind of lame, but they really do have some awesome stuff.”

“So, what did we do on during this time?” You asked almost spitting at Jae

“Whatever 200 bucks gets me.” He answered and leaned forward pressing his lips against yours

It was funny, this was the exact room you almost had your first kiss in, and this was the exact almost way you had it but this wasn’t the guy you wanted to have it with. That guy was sitting downstairs right now, you pushed Jae away.

“That’s not really how it works.” You said to him but he just pulled you back in kissing you again, and so you pushed him away. “Stop! I’m not really having sex with people for money. I’m saying it but not actually doing it.”

“It’s okay. It’s all right, come on stop being such a prude.” Jae said trying to pull you closer his lips inches from yours

“Stop, no, no. You’re an asshole!” You yelled at him before turning away and opening the door rushing down the stairs as Jae ran after you. You stopped for a second to throw the gift card back at the man chasing you.

“Hey your seven minutes isn’t up!” You could hear Beomgyu yell but you needed to get away

Tears streamed down your face as you rushed out of the house as fast as your heels would let you. You stopped at the edge of the lawn hearing footsteps behind you.

“Y/n!” Yeonjun called, god why was it always him

You turned around trying to make it seem like you were okay. Yeonjun stopped as he reached you.

“Hey are you okay?” You nodded at his words trying to stop the tears

“Yeah I’m fine, I need to get home.” You turned around trying to walk away but Yeonjun grabbed your wrist almost begging, “please let me drive you home.”

You nodded as the tears returned to stream down your face. The drive was as peaceful as it could be.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Yeonjun asked softly

“What else is there to talk about? Everyone thinks I’m a whore…and to be honest, I’m starting to believe it.”

“What why?”

“Oh come on Yeonjun, you know what everyone is saying.”

“Yeah I know that, but it doesn’t mean I believe them.” He smiled eyes flickering over to you

You wiped away your tears, “really, you believe me?”

“I know you Y/n, I know that you hate parties and that dresses make you insecure. But I know without a doubt that you have the biggest heart and can’t not help people because years ago there was a scared little boy who wasn’t ready for his first kiss and there was a amazing selfless girl who lied for him.”

You chuckled a bit, “you still remember that?”

“I wish that was my first kiss cause then I’d actually had enjoyed it.” Yeonjun said

You smiled as the car pulled up to your house. You talked a bit more to Yeonjun and the crappy feeling you had just a few moments ago slowly was fading.

“You know when I became popular, I couldn’t understand why no one liked you and I realize that it was because you were real.” Yeonjun stated. “You weren’t scared to be who you were.”

“Did you think about me like this before my transformation?”

“way before and if you wanted to stay this way that’s fine but would you stop pushing me away?”

You blushed, “you know if you had been here a couple of weeks ago, all of this would be different.”

Yeonjun smiled at that, it was silent for a second as his eyes flickered between your eyes and your lips. “Could I kiss you? I won’t tell anyone but I really want to kiss you right now.”

Your smile faded as you slightly shook your head, “no.” Yeonjun looked away and cleared his throat quickly apologizing but you responded with, “no I mean not like this. I look like a mess and with just having some guy try to stick his tongue down my throat. I’ve wanted to kiss you for years but I want it to be perfect. My life is a mess but if you give me some time to straighten my life out because I don’t want to drag you into it.”

“What if I wanted to be dragged into it. I can help Y/n.” You smile and leaned over pulling him into a hug before you got out of the car and walked into your house

One thing these past few moments had taught you was that even though there was shitty people, at least there was one kind and caring person out there for you. With that knowledge you knew this small white lie had to stop and so you knew one person who would set your story straight, the very first person you helped: Si-woo but it turned out that he didn’t need your help as he basically left his fake life behind. So that was one person down, and after that it was just getting all the guys you helped to come clean that it wasn’t true but after begging and begging for them to come clean, it felt like life was purposely doing this to you and if this was your punishment then you couldn’t be mad.

So it was finally time to put a end to the white lie that got out of hand once and for all and you were going to do that by telling your side of the story, all you had to do was get enough people to listen.

❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎

“And that’s why I decided to do this webcast. So here we go, part 5. Not with a fizzle, but with a bang. So today with the help of Yeonjun and unknowingly Hae-won, who lets say got to carried away with trying to kick me out, let me and Yeonjun sneak into the principal’s office letting me do the announcement and so with about 30 seconds, a minute at best to get everyone to go home and watch this I sang the only sexy song I knew and it worked so here you all are…waiting outside the bedroom door for me to kiss Yeonjun, listening to me pretend to have sex with Si-woo, paying me to lie for you, and calling me every name in the book. I took one thing out of Hester’s book but let me tell you that it sucks to be the outcast.”

You sighed just as you looked at the window seeing Yeonjun smiling from outside. You moved to the window opening it as he rested his arms against the frame.

“Have I ever told you that you’re so beautiful it makes my heart flutter?” He said making you giggle

“How did you know?” You joked

He shrugged, “just guessed.”

“You watched the live. I hope you know it’s still going on.” You pointed back inside

“Screw them. They’ve had enough of you. Figuratively speaking.” He said and climbed into your room

As he stood up, he pushed you against the wall by your window making you blush.

“I’ll protect you. Nothing can hurt you now.” He whispered and you laughed some more before looking over at the computer

“Give me a second.” You told him as he lowered his arms letting you walk over to your desk. “That’s Yeonjun. I don’t owe anymore confessions but this is just between you and me, I really like this guy and I might even really lose my virginity to him. I don’t know when it will happen, it could be in five minutes or in five years or on our wedding night but you know what, it is nobody’s goddamn business. Goodbye everyone.” You turned off the camera as Yeonjun walked back up to you

You giggled as he stood in front of you reaching his arms out as he raised his eyebrow, “care to dance my lady?”Yeonjun asked in a joking tone

You held up your finger and Yeonjun looked at you confusedly as you quickly walked up to your phone pressed a few things and turning it to full volume as a song started to play. You wanted your kdrama and so you hurried back up to Yeonjun.

“Of course my good sir.” You answered before placing your hands on his shoulder and stepping onto his feet adding. “‘You can’t complain that I’m heavy’”

Yeonjun just smiled and laughed leaning down and pressed his lips against yours before he slowly moved in a circle. When he pulled away, you hoped off of his feet before starting to dance more, Yeonjun twirled you around and dip you. Nothing mattered anymore, not your reputation, not Hae-won, or that stupid lie as long as you had someone who, like Yeonjun, knew you for you.

[remturtle]

list five things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last ten people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your followers, mutuals and all the wonderful people on here!

HI ARU!! ILYSM!!! 💜💜💜

1. Matcha flavours!!

Especially in Milk tea, sweets and desserts! (Mainly because it’s not overly sweet when done well, and as someone who famously does not like sweets, it can be a blessing when I’m pressured* into getting a little treat while out with friends)

2. Villainess Otome Genre!

Look, okay, just hear me out. I know it’s an overused cliche now, but when I’d just broke into it there were very few that had comprehensible English translations, so I feel like I got the golden scoop. And I’m not as much of an avid reader of manga/manwha/manhua as I was a couple years ago, so I’m not bombarded with rip offs and trend jumpers all the time. That being said, my number 1 fave villainness manga is Hamefura! (My Next Life As A Villainness) (also!! New VN Coming for it on the switch?!? I’m so excited!!)

My beloved Bakarina is the golden standard of idiot MC dialed up to 100% and she IS my daughter.

3. Isekai genre!

Yet another overused cliche, but I’m not defending myself this time lmao. As almost every isekai fan knows, the medium is over flowing with shitty-lack-lustre-power-fantasy-harem-building but every once in a while (read: every once in a million years lmao) you’ll come across a read that is generally really interesting, whether it be through a new twist on the concept or just really great characters and world-building. A particular favourite of mine is Campfire Cooking. A more recent entry (though it might be a little old now? I don’t watch often.) but it’s basically just ‘salary man makes food for magical dog who happens to have the personality of a cat’ with a bit of monsters and worldbuilding sprinkled in. 100/10 highly reccomend (AroAce bonus: there is no romance or love interest 🥰)

Edit: campfire cooking was originally a light novel I believe, but I found it through the manga - which has an amazing and really unique artstyle that the anime COMPLETELY BUTCHERED (also I love my silly dragon dork Elrand(yes it’s ripped straight from ‘Elrond’(yes I thought it was very funny and a cute lil nod)))

4. Retro/Vintage Aesthetic!

This mainly applies to furniture and decoration, I’ve grown up with a lot of retro things around myself since my parents are a fair bit older than the norm for my generation, and there’s just something so cosy about it. You’ve probably heard me ramble about it at some point in our servers together but I’m planning on getting a lot of retro furniture for myself in the coming months. I’d love to own vintage clothes but the masc leaning pieces tend to be too restricting for my tastes, I prefer looser, more casual outfits.

5. Food!!!

Self explanatory. But just in case: as someone with very little emotional or sentimental connection to physical objects and an overwhelming lack of object permanence, pretty much the only thing that is guaranteed to consistently make me happy is good food. In particular I’m partial to Japanese and Korean dishes, but Malaysian food is pretty high up there too :3

|| * AKA: Being very strongly reminded to eat and not skip meals or ignore my body’s needs

[carmenized-onions]

and i’m back with another yap session🤭okay okay, there were some parts that i forgot to mention last time so hopefully i can hit them this time and feel less insane😀

1. SYD AND TONY!!! i’ve been wanting to touch on them for a while but i never know how to do in a way that makes sense?? BUT THE FRIENDSHIP IS SO PRECIOUS, I CAN’T. they remind of the tiktok sound that’s like “we were girls together” and i literally can’t get that outta my head with them🥺 i think i just love reading about tony and the rest of the gang?? like i love seeing how they fit into the chaotic puzzle that was the beef– ESPECIALLY with all the new changes happening!! plus carmy’s reactions to tony’s dynamic with everyone is actually hilarious😭 like when he was so pressed that ppl have their own nicknames for her. like carmy, please remember to breathe LMAOOO

2. also the current chapters are still making me wanna run up my WALLS😭i don’t think i ever know peace anymore… WHAT DO MEAN THE WORSE DAY IF THEIR LIVES IS COMING?? SAVE ME?? IM SCARED??

3. and carmy’s so sick and twisted but like me too so it’s cool😎 but in all seriousness, it reminds me of that feeling of being in a 3 person friend group but knowing there’s a duo and you’re not apart of it (am i articulating this properly?? idk??) it’s such an odd feeling to be jealous of something that you know you probably shouldn’t be. like just because they’re besties, doesn’t mean that they care for you any less. but i also get his desire to wanting to be her person and not just the little brother full in but then again, you can’t even blame him for feeling like that cause WHO WOULDN’T??

AHHH THERES SO MUCH MORE I WANNA SAY but this is getting kinda long so i will hold off‼️again, just wanna reiterate how much your writing makes me wanna ascend into the divine plane; it literally so amazingggg😫 tysm for reading this certified long ass yap session🫶🏾

Cannot define enough how much I love these yap sessions, literally always feel free to send me any and all fleeting thoughts in the brain box.

aside: new chapter uhhhh Sunday probably? Maybe tomorrow possibly? Pending how fast I am. I'm trying to get the next two chapters drafts done together so I can refine the first one with the knowledge of what's gonna happen in the second. Cause n Effect, All That.

ANYWAYS, you can be incoherent-- Just so you know-- It's my job to make sense of what's in my inbox, u don't have to work on that. BUT YES I LOVE WRITIN EM, I am slowly more and more just writing bits and pieces of my own friendships and isms into them. So, they're a delight of memories, to write about. AND VERY MUCH SO WE WERE GIRLS TOGETHER. I think that's literally a line, in delivery fees, something like 'you become girls, together' cause it's just ! regress! in a good way hehe.

I love writing Tony with the idea of a season 3 Bear-- Because it's this weird thing where she is simultaneously new and old-- And everything to her is also new and old. It's this weird fucking neo-nostalgia that's really fun to chew on. AND YES HE'S SO CREASED.

I try to put myself in the perspective of the perspective I'm writing for, with whatever, and when I was writing Carmen's chapter I was like this stupid motherfucker Richie got to do all this shit and hae all these stupid nicknames why the FUCK DO YOU WANT TO SAY HI TO HIM?? RICHIE!!!!?!?!??!?! And then reading it back now, a week or so later, I was like Wow. Kind of a lot, bro. Lets both take a step back.

2. Your fears are valid. Well. Is that what I'm supposed to say here? Hm. Here's what I'll say, I haven't gotten to the bad bad part, yet. So like, it could end up being not that bad, to you guys. To me it's bad. It's really bad. But like, maybe you're fine. ALSO 3RD OR 4TH WORST DAY I SAID-- JUST THE WORST FRIDAY. Because I had to give them Top something, I just needed to get specific.

3. As the littlest sibling, 100%. I can't see myself being friends with any of my older brothers' friends, so the idea of becoming one of their friends and posthumously finding out they were best friends with my brother? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? DID THEY TELL YOU ABOUT ME? DO YOU THINK I'M LITTLE BABY LITTLE STUPID? And it's also like, just being friends with All of The Beef is like ohhhhh, I remember it took me a long time to warm up and make my way with them, but for you it was probably so easy cause you're just like that, which is why I like you so why do I feel angry about that !!!

AND ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU THANK YOU, FEEL FREE TO YELL IN MY INBOX WHENEVER. P.s if anyone made it this far, u got me. I'm makin' a taglist. Reply/DM/Ask to be added!

But if you wanna be added,,,, you gotta send an essay in with it baby, or I simply won't it's the RULES!

p.s i really do love u so dearly for sending in your thoughts thank u thank u angel <3

[snaillamp]

Vaccination Day

Enjar folded his hands onto his lap, threading his fingers together in an effort to hide he shaking. He read the advertisements along the desk again, trying to get his mind off what was coming. One was about asthma and staying safe in winter, one was about diabetes and talking to the doctor about some new, fancy blood glucometer and the last poster… the one that kept sending chills down his spine: Get your flu shot today! Prevent the spread of the flu! The flu stops with you!

He turned back to the glucometer ad, shuddering. Enjar had never liked needles, who did? But as his eyes flicked to the deep scars on his arms, he remembered the doctors. The needles poking him, hurting him… He could’t make them stop as he was strapped to the bed, the cannula hurting his arm as…

Vaccination day was always the worst. He had always hated needles, but now, they were a weapon, bringing back memories he'd rather forget.

“Svenson, Ulrich?”

A young doctor looked up at the group of people waiting in line. An old man pushed up and out of a chair, cane shaking as he got to his feet. He shuffled toward the man. The doctor greeted him, helping him into his office.

Out of the corner of his eye, Enjar felt someone sit next to him, causing him to twitch a little. Glancing at who it was, his eyes sparked in recognition. “Hello Enjar.” Dr Fayed murmured, smiling warmly. “You look a lot better than last time I saw you, good to see you’re doing well.” The man’s thick accent calmed Enjar, who smiled back, nodding as he tucked a little bit of hair behind his ear. His fingers brushed the scar on his face as he did, before he sat back and looked over at his friend.

“Thank you, Ahmed…” He looked around, wondering what to say. “Uh, how’s things with you?” Dr Fayed laughed, “Ahhh, you know. Two teenagers in the house and a busy work life. My wife says I’m married to the job as much as I am her!” He chuckled again, twisting his wedding ring. “I’ve actually organised a reservation in the city for her birthday, I even flew in her brother from France. She has no idea.” The man grinned wickedly. “I’ve been planning it for months.”

Enjar couldn’t help but snort at the doctor’s grin. “You’re a piece of work, Ahmed.” Enjar murmured, watching as a doctor he didn’t recognise stepped into the waiting room. “Ahh, that’s Dr Hillmar, new in town. I hear he’s pretty good… Big city hotshot if you ask me.” Dr Fayed snickered, before leaning back and patting his stomach. “Nielson, Enjar.” The doctor spoke, and Enjar froze, his stomach dropped like he had just hurtled down a rollercoaster.

“You got this, big guy.” Dr Fayed patted his shoulder, breaking Enjar out of his frozen state. He stood, letting out a breath, before approaching the doctor. ‘Trust me to get the new guy. Where’s Dr Bloch when I need her?’ Enjar thought as he swallowed his anxiety. Dr Bloch always knew how to work with him to make him feel calm, to get him through the injection…

“Nielson, Enj-oh.” Dr Hillmar looked down at Enjar, who had approached him. The doctor was at least 6 foot, compared to Enjar’s smaller 5'8. Enjar watched the usual eye movements as the doctor’s watery blue eyes danced over his scars. He clenched his jaw, making the scar ripple a little, a subtle way to remind the doctor there was still a person under the scar he was gawking at. Enjar usually wouldn’t mind people staring at his scars, but he wasn’t in the mood today.

He inhaled, making himself look slightly bigger as the doctor met his stormy, grey eyes. “Mr Nielson?” Dr Hillmar raised his eyebrows, looking slightly nervous. Enjar nodded, clenching his jaw harder to hide his anxiety. “Right this way…” Dr Hillmar gestured timidly, guiding Enjar to his office.

“Uh, take a seat and I’ll be with you in a second.” Dr Hillmar pointed at the uncomfortable plastic chair sat by the door. Next to it was a wall decal, a giraffe with heights for children marked on its; neck. Dr Hillmar sat by his desk, typing away at his computer, pulling up a file and reading it. Enjar could tell from where he was sitting it was his medical files, the short, curt message, completely useless to explain how he got his scars. Below that, a new note had been added, presumably from his last trip to the hospital… Enjar winced, remembering how awful he had been to the nurses.

“Soooooo… Mr Nielson, you’re here for a checkup and a vaccination, correct?” Dr Hillmar’s bravado was returning slightly as he spun in his cushy leather chair to face Enjar, who nodded. “You’re uh, a quiet one, huh?” Enjar shrugged. “That’s fine.” Dr Hillmar chirped, reaching over to his desk and grabbing a fancy stethoscope.

He watched Enjar for a second, studying him as Enjar did the same, each man taking in the other’s face. Enjar was good at reading people, he could tell the doctor was intimidated by his appearance, but he could only hope his own nervousness was well hidden behind a scowl. He didn’t want a repeat of last year.

“So, let’s start. Uh, it says in your files that you’ve had some bad experiences with medical professionals. Just know that here, you’re safe and anything you say or do is confidential. Any time you need a break, just let me know.” Dr Hillmar smiled, trying his best to break through Enjar’s scowl. All Enjar could do was nod. He just wanted Dr Bloch.

“You must be wondering, Dr Bloch has moved to another practice and I will be taking on her patients, she left some notes about you, actually. Let me see…” The doctor stood, reaching to the shelf covered in folders as he pulled a large, fat red one onto the desk flicking through. “Ah, here it is. Uhhhhh,” The doctor hummed as he skimmed the notes. “Pretty much what it says on your file. Just take it slow…” He frowned, mumbling to himself. “Huh… weird everyone else is so detailed… She was never one to miss anything… weird.” He replaced the folder, turning back to Enjar who was reading a poster tacked to the wall.

It had a person, all the layers of muscle, bone and organs revealed, listing them all. Dr Hillmar glaced at it, before grinning. “You like it? It’s a new one.” Enjar could tell the doctor was desperately trying to befriend him, but that made him want to shut off even more. “Did you want to start?” Dr Hillmar asked, leaning forward. Enjar nodded, sighing. “Sure.” Dr Hillmar smiled, thinking he’d made progress.

“Hop up on the bed there for me.” The doctor asked, Enjar complying. He watched the doctor prepare, gathering a few tools and cleaning his hands. The man was older than him, probably in his 50’s, his red hair slowly thinning and greying. He had a scratchy beard and a small, barely noticeable tattoo on his right wrist. It looked like a date. He wore black, rectangular glasses, pushed high up on a large nose and as he got closer, Enjar noticed a hole in his ear, a former piercing probably.

His dress shirt and pants were neatly ironed and his shoes were shiny, fancy leather ones, all pulled together with a red, silk tie. A large leather belt sat around his waist, the buckle engraved with a bear paw print. Enjar’s nose twitched as he caught a whiff of the doctor’s cologne. It smelled musky.

“Okay, we’ll go head to toe, so just let me know if you need a minute. Nice and slow, I promise.” Dr Hillmar sighed as he pulled out a light. “Can you just pull your hair back for me, please?” Enjar complied, reaching up and tying his hair up with a spare hair tie, feeling the scars on his arms tug slightly as his arms moved to the strange angle.

“Wonderful. Okay, follow my finger with your eyes for me.” Dr Hillmar instructed, watching as Enjar’s eyes locked onto his finger, following it closely. “Okay, now I’ll just flash a little light in your eyes, let me know if it’s too bright.” The doctor flashed a small penlight in each eye, comparing them. “Wonderful. I’ll do your ears now. You haven’t had any issues with hearing? I read that you’ve been knocked unconscious a few times.” Enjar glanced at the doctor as he put an otoscope in his left ear, looking at his lips smile as he saw a presumably healthy ear canal. “So no issues?” “Nope.” Enjar replied, as the other ear was checked. He kind of liked the feeling of the cold, smooth tube in his ear.

“Alright then, mouth time! Open wide, I’ll put this stick on your tongue, it’ll be quick I promise.” Enjar’s jaw tightened before he opened his mouth, he hated tongue depressors. Dr Hillmar placed it on his tongue, pressing down a little too far back in his mouth. Enjar gagged a tiny bit, pulling his head away, the memories of the tube crammed down his throat flashing through his mind. “Oh, are you alright?” Dr Hillmar asked, kneeling down to meet Enjar’s eyes. After a couple of breaths, Enjar nodded, opening his mouth and balling up his fists as the doctor checked again. After a few seconds of brief panic, he settled and felt fine, the doctor finishing that section of his exam. “Well everything looks healthy up there. Did you want to move onto your chest or do something else first.” Enjar looked at his lap, appreciating being given the choice. ‘Ahmed was right, he is good.’

“Something else first, thanks…” Dr Hillmar smiled at Enjar’s reply, nodding softly. “Okay, well take off your shoes for me and we can do a few more checks. Enjar complied, placing his shoes on the floor beside the plastic seat. “Okay, just stand here on the wall for me, nice and straight.” The doctor reached up, pulling the measuring device down to touch Enjar’s head. “Wonderful, and just take a few steps forward for me.”

“Good.”He pointed at a poster next to the anatomical one. “Just read those off for me, top to bottom.”

“A, X, R, V, M, Q, R, T, U, Y, O, L, K.”

“Awesome. Jump back on the bed, and I’ll test something else.” Enjar could tell the doctor was stalling a little. He didn’t mind that though, so he sat back on the edge of the bed, watching as Dr Hillmar stood in front of him. Sitting on the bed, they were almost the same height.

“Okay, just grab onto my hands for me, wonderful. Squeeze them tight for me.” Dr Hillmar’s hands were soft, unlike Enjar’s own calloused ones. He squeezed hard, until the doctor gasped slightly. “That’s good, that’s good. My, you’re a strong guy, what do you do?” Looking at the doctor, Enjar blinked, not expecting his strength to be brought up. “Lighthouse keeper. Though I do a lot of work for the coastguard too.” Dr Hillmar’s eyes widened, “That would explain the muscle. And just pull your right arm against mine, good, now your left. Wonderful.” Dr Hillmar kneeled down, looking at Enjar’s feet. “I’m just going to touch your feet, alright.” He placed his palms against the bottom of Enjar’s feet before looking up at him. “Wonderful, just press down for me. Good.”

Standing back up, he checked the nervous response of Enjar’s knees, tapping them with a small hammer, making them kick out. “Well… I’ve done everything else. You ready for me to check your chest?” Dr Hillmar smiled at Enjar again, who nodded, the anxiety in his stomach twitching. “Okay, just pull your shirt off for me. I promise I’ll be quick.” Enjar was beginning to feel annoyed, the doctor was coddling him a little. ‘I’ll be quick, I’ll be quick… I know, you keep saying it.’ His thoughts flashed through his head as he tugged off his shirt.

“Ready?” Dr Hillmar lifted up his stethoscope. Enjar nodded. “Okay. I’ll listen to your heart, then your lungs alright?” Nodding again, Enjar straightened, before the cold bell of the stethoscope touched his skin, sending goosebumps prickling over his body. The doctor listened for a moment, before moving to a new space, lower down, then another, more to the side of his chest. “Beautiful. Alright deep breath in.” He asked, placing the bell back on the front of Enjar’s chest. “And another.” This time, Dr Hillmar placed it on the other side of his chest.

“Again. Good. Once more on this side. Wonderful.”

Enjar watched as Dr Hillmar stepped to the side, “Just lean forward a little, I want to listen to your back too.” They repeated the process, Dr Hillmar nodding happily when he was done. “I’ll just check your stomach, then you can put your stuff back on, okay?” Enjar nodded again, he wasn’t looking forward to this. “Just lie back for me.” The doctor patted the bed.

Enjar lay back, sighing as he stared at the ceiling. “I apologise if I have cold hands. I’ll just press down a little then I want to check the scars from your surgery, then we’ll be done.” Enjar nodded, shutting his eyes as the doctor pressed gently on his abdomen. He went around in a circle, pressing four places with the flat of his hand, feeling for anything out of the ordinary.

“Good, I’ll just move your pants down a little, is that okay? I just need a better look at your mower abdomen.” “Mhmm…” Enjar mumbled, breathing in calm, slow breaths. The doctor moved the hem of his pants down, examining the scars from his appendectomy. He pressed them a little, making Enjar twitch. “Ah, still tender, sorry. How long has it been since the surgery?”

Enjar’s mind danced around dates, trying to remember. “6 months, give or take.” He grunted as the doctor pressed the other scar. “You had a laparoscopic surgery?” “Yeah…” Enjar’s head began to feel fuzzy and the doctor stepped back, he could feel the anxiety gripping his mind more. ‘This isn't that place...’

“Okay, all done. You can sit up now... Mr Nielson?” Enjar groaned, squeezing his eyes tight before opening them, sitting up slowly. “Are you feeling okay?” Dr Hillmar asked, looking concerned. “Yeah… just a little tense… I’m fine.” Enjar reached over to his shirt, pulling it back on, the room feeling quite cold all of a sudden. He shivered a little, before hopping off the bed to replace his shoes. “And we’re almost done, just the vaccination now. Uhh, I see here you have an… ‘aversion to needles’ is that right?”

Enjar looked up at Dr Hillmar, frowning as he glanced at his notes. That was a new one. Must have been Dr Mathieson, maybe Dr Singh. “Something like that…” he mumbled in reply. His mind drifted to his last hospital stay, ripping the cannula from his arm and throwing it at the wall. “You’re not prone to fainting are you, cause I don’t think I’m strong enough to catch you!” Dr Hillmar joked awkwardly, waving his smaller arms. Enjar certainly had more muscle than he did, the doctor was probably lucky to be 80 kg soaking wet. Shaking his head, Enjar sighed, taking a seat back in the chair. “I just… haven’t had great experiences with them. I uh… was treated for injuries in a pretty traumatic way.” He gestured at his arms. He heard the doctor hum, “Did you want to eleaborate? It’s okay if you don’t.”

Enjar shook his head, “No, may as well… I was injured, loosing a lot of blood, barely conscious… The medics, the doctors were just trying to keep me alive. They stuck me with so many needles I just… They remind me of that time… It makes me… quite anxious.” Enjar chose his words carefully, he didn’t want to overwhelm himself, or spill too much... if he went into anymore details, he might actually collapse.

“Well, we will look after you, you’re safe here, I promise. I’ll go get the nurse to prepare the vaccine for you.” Dr Hillmar stood and slipped from the room, leaving Enjar to lay back in the seat and breathe. He rested his head against the wall and sighed, soothing the rising anxiety creeping up his throat. ‘It’s okay. You’re okay. You’re not there, you’re here…’ He repeated his mantra in his head, before he heard the door squeak open, making him jump. “Oh, my apologies. The nurse is here now, just sit tight, or did you want to lie down?” Dr Hillmar offered the bed with a gesture, but Enjar shook his head, swallowing his fear. His stubbornness was playing up again, he wasn’t going to take the bed, no one else did, why should he?

The young nurse walked in, all the pieces ready to go. Enjar watched as she prepared the injection, his stomach tingling as she did. She handed the needle to Dr Hillmar, who thanked her before walking up to Enjar. “Alright, which arm do you want it in?” Enjar sighed, thinking for a second, before looking back at the doctor. “Left.” He eyed the needle, long and sharp, glinting in the light. It looked a lot longer up close than it had a second ago.

“Okay, just relax your arm for me.” Dr Hillmar directed, as Enjar fixed his stare at the anatomy poster. He felt the cold cleansing wipe clean his skin, before a sharp prick and a flood of cold fluid into his arm. He felt mostly fine, except the temperature of the fluid making him feel a little dizzy. ‘Huh... No flashbacks, great!’ He thought as glanced over at the needle, watching it slide out from inside him, before a cotton wad was placed neatly over the small hole it left. A glimmer of hope beginning to burn in him, he had made progress and hadn’t even realised it.

“And we’re done. I’ll just ask you to stay in the waiting room for 15 minutes so we can monitor you and then you can go. All just standard procedure from here.” Dr Hillmar instructed. Enjar smiled softly, thanking him, before standing. He took a step, before his vision blurred, spots spinning around him and the world going black as he came crashing down onto the cold, hard floor.

~~

Dr Peter Hillmar smiled at the strange man sitting next to him. He didn’t know what all the fuss had been about, the man took the needle without even a flinch. “Thank you, Dr Hillmar.” The man spoke in a low, quiet voice, glancing up at him with tired, grey eyes.

Peter watched as he stood, before frowning as the blood suddenly drained from the man’s face. As he took a step, his pupils grew wide, before his eyes rolled back and he crumpled to the floor. “Oh!” The young nurse cried as she leapt back. Peter’s mind jumped into action. He rolled Enjar’s limp body over, pressing his fingers into his neck. The man’s pulse was racing, sweat beading on his forehead. “Get Dr Dahlvig!” His tone urgent as he spoke to the young nurse, who nodded, racing from the room.

“Mr Nielson? Enjar? Can you hear me?” Peter raised his voice, shaking Enjar’s chest as he tried to make him wake up. Nothing. “Shit. Come on, wake up for me, Enjar.”

The nurse returned with the senior doctor of the practice, Dr Clara Dahlvig. “Peter? Oh, what’s happened here?” She asked, leaning down to assess his patient. “Don’t know, he just went out like a light.” Clara looked at Enjar’s face, frowning. “Ahhh, I know him. Enjar Nielson, right? Something is always up with this guy. Weird, he’s never collapsed like this before though.” She mumbled, feeling the pulse in his wrist. “He hit his head hard?” She asked, slipping on some gloves and feeling Enjar’s skull. “No idea, he just went down like a rag doll.”

Clara nodded, before pulling her stethoscope out and putting it in her ears. She listened to the man’s chest, counting the breaths. “He seems fine, he’s just fainted I think. Maybe get him up on your exam bed, let him come to. If he isn’t around in a few minutes I might get you to call an ambulance.” She helped Peter lift the heavy man up onto the examination bed, before huffing and leaving the room.

“Ah, Dr Fayed, could you come here for a second?” She asked, standing outside the door. Peter glanced around, not recognising the name. There wasn’t a Dr Fayed at this practice was there? He watched the door as a short, stout man walked in, glanced around and spotted Enjar, slumped on the bed. “Oh no… What’s happened?” He asked, his voice sympathetic. “Don’t know, I was hoping you might know, you know him right?” The new doctor nodded. “Well, I shouldn't say much... but off the record, yes I do. What happened?”

The doctor’s strongly accented voice broke Peter out of his stupor. “Uh, just collapsed after a vaccination. Blood drained from his face and he went down.” Dr Fayed frowned, “Maybe it was the needle, what happened last vaccination?” He asked Clara. “Bloch and I watched him hyperventilate for about 10 minutes before he was fine and took the injection like nothing happened. He was a little shaky after but nothing out of the ordinary.” Peter huffed exasperatedly, it seemed all the doctors knew this guy.

At that moment, Enjar groaned, turning his head as he came around. His eyes fluttered open, and he stared blankly at the room, not recognising it. “Be quiet, he might be reliving something, let him come back in his own time…” Dr Fayed whispered, looking at the man’s glazed over eyes. Peter frowned, this Dr Fayed guy knew a lot more about Enjar than he was letting on.

Outside the room, someone dropped something, causing a loud clatter. All four people in the room cringed as an old man yelled a loud, angry, “FUCK!”

The young nurse slipped from the room, pulling the door shut to help the old man, but the damage was already done. Enjar stiffened, eyes wide as his breathing quickened, becoming uneven and gasping. He pushed himself up, before trying to get off the bed, but the second his feet touched the floor, his knees buckled. Faling to the ground, shaking as tears streamed from his face, moaning low, panicked words. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…”

He gasped, pressing his head into the floor, his entire body quivering. Peter reached out to touch him, his fingers barely grazing the man’s shoulder, but Enjar ’s hand shot up, grabbing his wrist and yanking it, pulling Peter to the floor. Peter yelped as he wigged, trying to get out from the Enjar’s grip as the man pressed a knee firmly on his chest, pinning him down.

He looked up in horror, at the man who had seemed so withdrawn and quiet a moment ago now baring his teeth and growling, eyes wild and angry. “Hey, what’s-your-name?” Dr Fayed hissed at Peter. “Dr Hillmar.” He replied. “Dr Hillmar, stop struggling. You’re making it worse. Just close your eyes and take a deep breath, go as still as possible.” Peter followed the order, closing his eyes and breathing deep, letting his body relax.

“Good, good.” His chest hurt as Enjar pressed into it harder. “Enjar, it’s Ahmed. Can you hear me? I need you to stand down, this man is not a threat.” Peter opened an eye to glance at Enjar, who’s eyes seemed to spark with a semblance of recognition. They danced from side to side as his grip loosened around Peter’s wrists. “Stand down. Stand down.” Dr Fayed spoke firmly, talking to Enjar like a superior officer in the army might, was this guy ex-millitary or something?

Peter watched as Enjar blinked, his weight shifting off his chest and life coming back into his eyes. He grunted, skittering back and pressing himself into the corner where the bed and wall met “Get away from me...”

“Hey, look at me Enjar, you’re okay.” Dr Fayed knelt down speaking softly as Enjar’s breathing quickened again. “Look at me. Do you know who I am?” Enjar glanced up at Dr Fayed, jaw shuddering a little, before he stuttered a name. “A-A-Ahm-Ahmed…” Dr Fayed nodded, “Yes, and what’s your name?” Enjar looked at his hands, whispering his name. “Enjar…” Dr Fayed nodded again, “And where are you Enjar?” Peter watched as the shaking man’s breathing calmed, and he rubbed his eyes. “At the GP’s clinic…” He groaned loudly, leaning back against the wall and placing an arm over his eyes.

~~

Enjar felt like he’d been hit by a high speed train as he suddenly realised where he was. Dr Fayed asked him where he was and his spinning mind suddenly slowed as he focused on his surroundings, making him feel even more nauseous. “At the GP’s clinic…” He groaned, embarrassment flooding his body. What had he done? He could vaguely remember grabbing something that had attacked him. Lifting his arm off his face, he looked at Dr Hillmar, sitting on the ground looking shaken. “Wait… whaddid I do..” He mumbled, words slurring slightly as he fought to keep his eyes open. “Hey, Enjar, stay with me.” Dr Fayed reached out, “I’m going to touch your shoulder, okay?” All Enjar could manage was a weak “Mhmm…” as he focused all his energy to staying awake, it felt like it was draining from him with every breath.

Dr Fayed’s hand touched his shoulder, and Enjar pressed his cheek into it. The hand, Ahmed's hand, squeezed his shoulder hard and Enjar closed his eyes, feeling the floor under his fingertips, hearing his breath and heartbeat, and feeling the squeeze. After a moment, he opened his eyes and tried to stand, his legs unstable. Dr Fayed help stabilise him, and after a few breaths, the finally world stopped spinning around him. He stared at the ground, not making eye contact with anyone. “What did I do?” He whispered again, haunted and shaken.

Dr Fayed frowned, “Don’t you remember?” Shaking his head, Enjar’s shoulders drooped. “Ever since the appendicitis… I’ve just been a little easier to tip over the edge, and I remember less and less. I just need time to get back to where I was and I'll…” Dr Fayed sympathetically wrapped him in a hug. He knew all too well how much it hurt being pushed back in recovery. “I was better… then that stupid infection…” Enjar's voice cracked as he whispered into Dr Fayed’s shoulder, a tear falling from his eye.

Standing up straighter, he wiped his face. “What happened? I need to know.” Dr Hillmar stepped forward. “I uh, touched you and you pinned me to the ground. You were... You weren't there, behind your eyes, there was nothing.”

Enjar took a step back, swallowed his anxiety again, looking at the doctor squarely. “I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t hurt you.” Dr Hillmar smiled, easing the tension a little. “Just my ego. I’m fine, I promise. It’s you I’m worried about. Hop up on the table, I wanna check you over.” Turning his head slowly, Enjar sighed.

Dr Hillmar waved the rest of the people in the room away as Enjar laid back, eyes glazed over as his blood pressure was checked, then his oxygen saturation, heart rate, respiratory rate, everything the doctor could think of. “Have you ever fainted like this before?” He looked over at Enjar. “No…”

Dr Hillmar hummed, checking Enjar’s pulse again. “Well, I think you just... fainted. I’d like to observe you for a little longer though. Check out in the waiting room and I’ll see you in 30 minutes.” Enjar groaned as he sat slowly, before shuffling to the waiting room and sliding into a seat with a grunt.

He noticed someone idle over. “You look awful.” Dr Fayed pointed out. Placing his head in his hands, Enjar rubbed his face, trying to get rid of the haze in his brain. “At least I’m vaccinated…” His tone sarcastic as he feigned joy. Sitting up, he slumped back in the chair staring at the clock on the wall.

“I’ll shout you a coffee, you and me.” Dr Fayed suggested, looking at Enjar, who’s eyes slowly moved to meet his. “Mmmmph… I can’t ask you to do that, Ahmed.” Dr Fayed shook his head, smiling. “It is of no problem for me. I promise, think of it as a friend looking out for his friend.” Rolling his eyes, Enjar smirked, “Fine.”

They sat together in silence for a while, before Dr Fayed leaned in and murmured something, causing Enjar to stiffen. “I still go to meetings, you know. You should swing by, catch up. People have been asking about you.”

Enjar pulled his had through his hair, grimacing. “I- I’ll think about it. Its’ been 3 years, I just… Wanna move on, but the world won’t let me. Every time I think I’m fine, I get someone breaking into my home or I get sick, or I collapse… I’m just tired, Ahmed… I want to be okay again… For good.” Staring at his arms, he traced the thick scars.

“I’m seeing Dr Dall next week... Dr Singh told me to see her… I finally got around to booking it.” Dr Fayed placed a warm hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. “I understand. But the burdens we carry, they are not something we will ever stop carrying. Instead you have to train your mind, make it stronger, so that the load is easier to carry. It will always be there, but you can carry it. You’re stronger than you know, my friend.” Enjar smiled weakly, nodding. “I wish I felt it.”

Dr Hillmar came out and did a quick check over of Enjar before nodding and dismissing him. Dr Fayed followed him out as they wandered down the street to a cafe. “So I just fainted for no reason? Great.” Enjar grumbled, scuffing his foot into the concrete. “I’ll add that to list of things that’s wrong with me. PTSD, scars, no appendix, and now faints after needles.” Enjar’s sarcastically gleeful tone made Dr Fayed laugh as they took a seat at a table in the sun. A young waiter came out to take their order, before rushing back inside. “Hmmmm…” The doctor hummed, staring at the sky.

Enjar raised his eyebrow, curious. “What you thinking about?” The doctor looked at Enjar and smiled, “In a week it’ll be 7 years since we left Syria.” Enjar nodded, “Oh… Alright.” Dr Fayed smiled, pleased at the response. “See, you get it.” He looked up as their coffee arrived, thanking the waiter. “You know how to respond.” The two men looked at each other for second, before they both left the conversation at that. They both knew they didn’t need to add anymore to it.

“So your anniversary? How many years of marriage?” Enjar piped up, enjoying to warmth of the coffee as he sipped it, it made him feel slightly less dead inside. “20 years. Best 20 years of my life.”

The men talked for a while before they both finished up, going back to their respective cars and driving off. As he got drove, Enjar kept thinking about what the doctor had said to him.

When he got inside his cabin, he picked up Ulrich’s skull and sat it on the dining table, looking at it. “What do you think? Should I go back? I want to but all those people… their stories… They made me so sad. They all went through way worse stuff than I did… I shouldn’t complain. They have a reason to be traumatised.”

The seagull’s eye sockets stared blankly back at him. “I don’t have to go back if I don’t want to, right? Like Dr Dall said, if I don’t want to be there I can leave.” He picked up the skull and held it in his hands. It was so light, so delicate. He could crush it in his hand if he wanted to…

“I guess you’re like me huh? Breakable. Then again, I guess all people are.” He placed the seagull back on the mantle above the fire, before climbing the tower and setting up the light.

He stood on the balcony watching the churning black sea for a while, enjoying the taste of the wind and the sound of the waves. He was better than he had been when he first took over this place, but he knew he could be even better than that. He wanted to be. “I promise to be better, for you guys…” He whispered looking at the stars as a slight breeze picked up. He felt his team smile and for the first time in a long time, the weight felt a little easier to carry.

~masterlist~

~taglist~ - lmk if you wanna be added :D

@emcscared-whumps

[thesokovianaccords]

(press you to) the pages of my heart

two: “it reminded me of you.”

a steggy friends to lovers au - also on ao3.

“Well, I’m just not sure this shade suits you, darling.”

Steve poked his head out from the en-suite, bits of shaving cream still dotting his face. “Sorry, what? I missed that.”

Peggy twisted the small black container between her fingers and uncapped the tube. “This deep red simply doesn’t match your skin tone. Really, it’s better for brunettes, don’t you think?”

It was a rare and precious gift, the bright flush along Steve’s cheekbones - especially to see it in person after months on FaceTime. Barely resisting the temptation to cross the room and poke his rapidly reddening face, she twisted the tube and raised a single eyebrow. “In fact, this shade is very close to the one I’m wearing right now, is it not?”

He ducked back into the bathroom for a moment to grab a towel (and his composure) and then crossed over to Peggy, plucking the black tube out of her hand with a raised eyebrow. “This shade? Hmm, can’t say I’ve seen it before. Must have been dropped into my suitcase by…an old friend of mine.”

She wiped a remaining speck of white cream from his top lip, affecting an angry expression belied by the laugh in her voice. “An old friend, hmm? A lady friend, I assume.”

He nodded eagerly, his eyes unnaturally wide. “She’s always leaving her stuff everywhere - a bit careless, that one.”

“She sounds high-maintenance. How on earth do you put up with such nonsense?” Peggy smoothed her thumb over the line of Steve’s freshly-shaved jaw, enjoying the way he shifted closer on instinct.

“Pining from afar, mostly.”

“Flatterer,” she snorted, curving her hand around his cheek and pulling him in, not about to waste a second of their short time together on something as ridiculous as personal space—except for her commitment to a bit.

Steve let out what he would deny was a whine as she pulled away, raising one eyebrow critically. “I was right. Not your shade at all.”

“Unbelievable,” he said, tilting his forehead against hers, unable to suppress his grin even as he complained. “Months of desperately longing for you, and all you do is make fun of me.”

“Well, someone’s got to keep you on your toes, Steve. I’d hate for you to get bored of me.” She wove her fingers through the short blond strands at the back of his neck, holding him in place, soaking in every second of his skin against hers.

“It reminded me of you.” He returned the favour, pulling on one of her curls. “The lipstick. I was walking home from work and passed by Sephora and—I dunno. it was like having a small piece of you with me.”

“I love you.” The sentiment wasn’t new to either of them, not anymore. But to hold him close to her, to sink into his arms around her, to laugh and live with him—nothing compared.

“I love you too.” He tugged at her curls again and pulled away slightly, far enough to see her crinkle her nose at the distance. “Pretty crazy, right? Spending 25 dollars on a lipstick I won’t use—even if I did get you the loyalty points.”

Peggy squeezed his hand and stood. She tugged him along as she crossed her tiny flat with purpose. She stopped them abruptly in front of her desk, covered in papers and notebooks and a troubling collection of unwashed mugs. Right in front of her monitor, in the middle of her chaotic workspace, sat a very familiar glass bottle.

“If you’re crazy, we’re a matched set,” she said. Settling against his chest and drawing his arms around her, Peggy smiled. “I bought that at Dulles, just before boarding my flight in December. When I miss you so badly I can’t stand it, I spray a bit of it on one of my jumpers.”

He pressed a kiss to her hair. “I think you mean my—“

“My jumpers, thank you very much. What’s that phrase—finder’s keepers?” She dodged a pinch to her side with a laugh. “I can pretend I’ve just stolen it off you and that you’re in the other room, about to storm in and complain that you’ve got no clean tops left. Not quite as good as this, but a fair substitute until we’re back here.”

“I knew letting you borrow that sweater freshman year was a mistake.”

She laughed, even as she pushed herself further into the circle of his arms and basked in the heady feeling of being surrounded on all sides by her favorite person. “Well, it’s too late now, Rogers. We’re quite the pair—you clearly can’t take us anywhere without an impractical impulse purchase close behind.”

“We’d better stick together, then.” He spun her around, the cool London sunlight catching the blond tips of his eyelashes, pulling the breath from Peggy’s lungs at the sight. “Better for both our budgets.”

“Oh, if we must.”

[janeykath318]

Wintershock Meeting at a Wedding.

“Hey, Steve, who is that woman in the hot pink? She looks familiar, but I can’t seem to place her?”

Bucky’s whispered question to his best friend was clearly meant to sound casual, but Steve wasn’t blind and he’d observed him eying Darcy with decided interest for most of the reception.

Sharing a pleased look with his bride, he turned back to Bucky.

“Oh, that’s Dr. Darcy Lewis. She’s an astrophysicist who used to work with Dr. Foster at the Tower. You probably saw her around there. She is quite the firecracker.”

“Hmmm,” Bucky mused thoughtfully, a gleam in his eye that suggested the old flirty Bucky. This was very promising.

“Would you like an introduction?” Natasha inquired hopefully. She’d been trying to set both Steve and Bucky up unsuccessfully for years (Steve being unsuccessful because it turned out he was in love with her and didn’t want to date anyone else) and what better time to help secure her longtime friend’s prospective future happiness?

“Nah,” Bucky declined. “It’s about time I did that on my own again. Wish me luck.”

“Like you need it,” Steve retorted playfully, knowing how smooth Bucky could be when he wanted to.

“I appreciate the vote of confidence,” Bucky replied with a touch of his old smirk as he ambled toward Darcy. He had been making major progress since he’d changed therapists to someone that actually cared to understand him.

“This could be very interesting,” Steve remarked.

“I can’t wait to see the sparks fly,” Natasha agreed.

Darcy was laughing at one of Maria’s dry jokes when she saw Bucky Barnes approaching.

“Oooh! I think he’s looking at you!” Wanda squealed, nudging Darcy.

“Yeah, right,” Darcy retorted, but then she looked up right into a pair of blue eyes that were definitely smirking at her. Her mouth went dry.

“Dr. Lewis?” He asked. (Ooh, that voice! Oh that tux!)

“Yes, that’s me,” she managed. “What can I do for you, Sergeant Barnes?”

She inwardly cringed at how flirty that had sounded, but Bucky just smiled even more.

“I haven’t been to a wedding in eighty years and I’m a little rusty on how they celebrate nowadays. Would you care to show me the ropes?”

There went that smirk again. He really was flirting with her. Wow, okay. She could work with that.

Darcy smiled encouragingly back at him.

“I’d be happy too. First off, can you dance? It’s okay if you can’t, because I do have a backup plan for non-dancers.”

“That won’t be a problem, doc. One of my few talents lies in the dancing area. Just ask Steve.”

She scoffed at the “few talents” line and shook her head.

“Oh, I’ve heard stories, but how do I know Steve wasn’t exaggerating? You’ve gotta prove it, soldier.”

Bucky stepped up closer to her, piercing her with a challenging, yet still amused, stare.

“Alright, then. Dance with me and I’ll give you all the proof you need.”

“Oh, you’re on,” she replied breathlessly.

Bucky proceeded to prove to her very, very decisively how well he knew his way around a dance floor and Darcy thought she’d died and gone to heaven, especially when he dipped her. Oh, Steve had not been exaggerating in the slightest. In fact, he’d undersold it.

Despite his statement, Bucky had had a tiny bit of worry that his skills were as rusty as his wedding etiquette, but it didn’t take long for it to all come back again as he twirled around the floor with Darcy. She didn’t have a problem following the steps, so he let himself add in a few twirls and dips. Her pretty blue eyes sparkled at him and she was clearly enjoying herself as much as he was.

“Well?” he asked expectantly as the song ended.

“Okay, okay. I admit it,” she panted. “You’ve got serious skills, Bucky. Gosh, that was fun. Now I know why you were such a ladykiller back in the day.”

He felt himself flush.

“I did enjoy a good time back then. Now that the fighting is over, I’m hoping to piece a new life together.”

“Well, you certainly deserve one,” she commented. “I remember seeing you from afar a few times at the tower, but certain people thought my personality might be a bit much for you at that stage of your recovery.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Punk was being overprotective. I would certainly have enjoyed getting to know you.”

“Well, you certainly can know,” she said warmly. “Nice haircut, by the way. I almost didn’t recognize you during the ceremony.”

“Thanks,” he answered, feeling a little flutter inside at how she was looking at him. “It feels a little weird, but easier to deal with.”

“And it shows off your excellent jawline,” she added, winking at him. He winked back and they both laughed, catching the eye of Steve and Natasha, who were both looking at them very smugly, like they’d orchestrated the whole thing.

“They look way too pleased with themselves,” Darcy observed. “What do you say we find somewhere quieter and I’ll tell you how Wanda and I managed to get those two stubborn heroes to get a clue.”

I am all ears,” Bucky replied eagerly. “I never did get the whole story since I was unfortunately dead at the time.”

Darcy let out a snort, then immediately clapped a hand over her mouth.

“I’m so sorry. That was very inappropriate of me, but you said it like you’d just gone on a vacation or something.”

Bucky shrugged. “It’s okay. I guess it’s become old hat for me. But back to the Steve and Nat topic….”

“Oh, yes! Come, Bucky, and hear the epic tale of your best friend’s obliviousness.”

Bucky followed her very willingly. By the time the night ended, he had her number and a few dates lined up.