#I’ve been such a damned wreck lately | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starrdevereauxx · 6 months

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I said last time would be the last time.

Brandon broke up with me 6 months ago. I’ve been a wreck for weeks on end. I promised myself to get over it, but it’s been such a hard thing to process. We would always fight, make up, make love and act like nothing ever happened. He was gone this time. This was the longest we ever been apart.

I try to find things to do to pass the time, but nothing ever seems to take my mind off him. I still smell him, breathe him, and feel him through my body. Our mutual friends always give messages about him, but I’ve been ignoring them lately. My heart can’t take listening to his name, let alone hearing of any accomplishments.

I need to run my errands today, but like everyday I become sad running them alone. We did everything together, after 6 years I can’t believe that we don’t do this anymore.

Heading to the grocery store I become sad with my list of groceries for one instead of two. I hop in my car and turn on “our” playlist. Hoping I can borrow a feeling from any song that plays. Another slow song begins to play and I’m seeing myself in the mirror. Envisioning him touching me, wishing my hands were his. Rubbing the side of my face, choking me ever so lightly. I literally just felt my pussy drip at this light.

“Get it together Dev” I say trying to convince myself that I’m over him. Knowing damn well I’m not. I can feel him inside my pussy when I think about him. The feeling intensifies with every breath I take.

I gather myself to go inside of the store, with my lonely list of single items. Looking at the list I just remember every single meal I ever made for him. Pouring my heart into each meal, now I can only make food for myself. I sob gathering myself for this lonely trip.

I walk through the store, gathering each item reluctantly. Wishing we were laughing together, talking about what we gonna pretend to watch on Netflix when we got back home. Saying pretend because it we wouldn’t make it pass the opening credits without his chocolate snicker veined dick engorged in my throat. He would be gagging me before we knew the name of the movie.

After looking at my cart, I figured I deserved a treat. I tried to maintain a healthy cart since I’m single, I need to stay in shape. The most physical activity I get is the gym these days, so I had to maintain some resemblance of care in my food intake. But with all the crying that I’ve been doing, today I deserve a treat. I decided to head back to the ice cream isle and help myself to something to lift my spirits.

As I walk to the back of the store with my headphones on, I’m letting Chris Brown sing me to a happy place. I almost begin to get a spring in my step as he’s talking about fucking someone back to sleep.

I make it to the ice cream section and I immediately look for Ben & Jerry’s tasty ass. I see it, straight ahead “Chunky Monkey”. I move my cart out of the way to reach for it. As I get ready to reach for the pint, I feel some thing grab me, startled I think I’m in trouble for climbing inside the refrigerator. Moving my headphones so I can hear, a deep, smoldering voice says

“that’s still your favorite ice cream I see, even though I also remember that your monkey was the only chunky I ever wanted”.

I’m fucking stuck. There’s only one voice I know that sounds like that, and my pussy dripping is letting me know exactly who it is.

“Brandon, oh wow. It’s crazy seeing you here. How are you?” I gulp nervously.

“You look good Dev, time has been good to you. But then again when has it not?” Brandon says as he looks at me like he’s about to take my throat from me right here in this store.

As I prepare to answer him, someone loudly over talks me.

“Babe, BABE.. do you want movie popcorn or kettle corn?” I turn to see a bubbly perky breasted young lady yelling to her significant other about popcorn. I turned back around to see if I see him, just for my heart to sink as I realize that there’s nobody here but me and Brandon here. She’s talking to him. Oh my God, he has a girlfriend.

“I’m so sorry ma’am, I was just trying to get a hold of my fiancé, I didn’t mean to bump you, my apologies” she smiles.

“Kettle Corn baby, thank you” he replies.

She skips off to honor his request. I stand there putting my broken heart back in my chest, not making it obvious that I’m literally breaking apart inside. FIANCÉ!?!? What in the fuck is this? After 6 years together, he never asked me to marry him. I’m even more convinced that it was never going to be me.

“Well congratulations to you and your fiancé, you deserve happiness. Be well Brandon.” I say tearfully as I run off, forgetting my ice cream. At this point I just want to disappear.

I get to the register, pay for my items and hurry to my car.

It was a long walk to my car. I always parked far from stores because I loved to get my steps in. Every step counts to me. So I had enough time to cry myself to the car and be over it by the time I started my car.

I open my trunk and back seat to place my purse down as I organize my groceries in the back, just incase if I needed room for a surprise bullseye store trip. I think after that encounter, I deserve some retail therapy now.

As I near the finish of my organization, I feel someone tap me from behind and say “I thought we discussed you parking way the hell back here. Nobody can see you back here.” Brandon says with what looks like chunky monkey ice cream in his hands.

“What the fuck are you doing back here? Where’s your fiancé? Why are you here? I-“ he stops me mid sentence, placing the ice cream in my hand.

“I’m sorry, I should have told you about Keisha. You didn’t deserve to find out like this” he says looking at me sincerely.

“You don’t owe me anything, we are over. It’s your life. We have both clearly moved on.” I say proudly, pretending that I don’t feel like bending over right now and letting him turn me into a Twinkie.

He stares at me in my eyes with a look I haven’t seen in so long, but I remember well. I break contact and go back to packing my car so I can leave this awkward encounter.

He grabs my arm forcefully, making me drop my car keys in the backseat. Turning me towards him, forcing me to look at him. I begin to tear away in anger because I’m loosing control to my body.

“Get the fuck off me Brandon, what in the hell is your problem. Let me the fuck go.”

I try to break free from his grip. I feel his dick literally growing with anticipation the more I fight.

He stops me and looks me in my eyes. He’s subdued me with his piercing glare. He presses up against me, placing his hands on my body. One softly but firmly on my neck and the other on my left breast, lightly massaging it and grazing the nipple ever so softly. My breathing becomes shallow and scattered. What is he doing? Why is he doing this? Isn’t his fiancé near by or in the car wondering where he is. I’m sure she’s looking for him. In this moment, I don’t think either one of us cares. My pussy is wet and gushing between my panties that I know is drenched at this point.

“I know you feel what I feel for you. I haven’t had a day go by that I haven’t thought about you Dev. We broke up, but never really let go. If you tell me to let you go right now, I’ll stop and walk away forever. You want me to stop?” He says while looking me in my dough eyes. I have no voice to even reply. My red lips are pursed and parted from the small breaths I continue to take. I shake my head no while staring him completely in his eyes.

He leans onto me, kissing me softly, hand still wrapped around my neck. He kisses my lips softly and becomes more aggressive every time he touches his lips to mine. He parts my lips to slide his tongue inside my mouth, I close my mouth to proceed to suck his tongue. Feeling now that his dick is rock hard.

“Show me that you still love me” he says as I’m already unbuckling his jeans. I drop to my knees and open my mouth. Giving him my entire throat to use as he pleases. Forcing my head on and off his dick, using my mouth as his personal pocket pussy. Grabbing both sides of my face, moaning loudly in this parking structure like we are outside alone. He literally has no fear of being caught in this moment. Brandon’s dick is so deep down my throat that he’s breathing for the both of us.

I feel his precum slip pass my lips. He stops. He pulls me off my knees and stands me up, just to pull down my leggings, revealing my cummed in panties. He begins to take his dick to rub my clit while I stand there defenseless.

Brandon forcefully turns me around, placing me in position. I automatically arch the posture of my back, taking my hands to spread my giant ass to show my wet dripping pussy that’s salivating for his erection to be inside me.

“Such a good girl, still obedient like I remember. Tell me what you want” he orders me.

“Fuck me hard please. Take my pussy from me” I say patiently waiting for him to beat my pussy like an Undertaker versus Mankind cage match.

He forces his dick inside my tight wet pussy, moaning hard as he enters. I grip him hard with my pussy as he’s thrusting aggressively in and out of me.

He’s pulsating inside of me as he’s moving. I’m feeling every inch of him as he’s continuing to grow inside of me. Just moving back and forth, harder and harder. I’m moaning so loud and hard, tears in my eyes from how good it feels to have his dick inside me. Holding my breasts as he’s making me take his dick roughly outside where everyone can see.

“Oh my God Dev, you’re gonna make me cum. I’m about to cum. Do you want it in your favorite place?” He says as I scream out “Yes” in reply.

I fall to my knees like a sinner who needs prayer, open my mouth to the heavens and wait for him to bless me. He releases an outpouring of his creaminess all over my face and mouth, as I devour every drop that hits my throat.

He moans as he shakes out every drop til he’s empty. I swallow the rest of him and what’s left of my pride as he kisses me in completion. My pants still around my ankles, he grips my ass holding me in place as he continues to kiss me softly.

I buckle his pants as he helps me with mine. I brush my hand across his face and we embrace each other knowing that he has to go.

“Goodbye Brandon.” I kiss him on the cheek. He walks away silently. Staring back a few times before he’s out of my view.

I said last time would be the last time.

Happy Monday 💋

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m2ok · 6 months

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Golden Salvation Pt.3

Pt.1 Pt.2

Cowboy!ghost x m!reader

A/N: The final part is here !! This series has been so fun to do that part of me wants to do another cowboy AU but with Price. I might do some smaller fics first, we’ll see. Anyways! Enjoy my loves! Mwah mwah

Simon slept late into the next morning, lost to the world in a rare moment of utter relaxation. Skin scrubbed clean of its usual dirt and stubble, he looked almost boyish - troubled brow smoothed, dense frame gone lax in your arms. An image of vulnerable peace you’d wager few had witnessed in all his storied years.

Stirring faintly as you subtly moved, Simon nestled closer with a contented sigh, arm reflexively tightening its protective hold around your frame as if even in his sleep he sought to shield you from further harm.

Exhaustion had etched itself deep in him, but in the dull light seeping past lowered lashes you could see shadows beginning to fade from his features. A sight to lift even the most wounded soul’s spirit, seeing one who guarded others so staunchly finally finding solace in another’s care.

You would smile softly as you ran your thumb across his brow, smoothing away the rest of his worries as you cupped his cheek. You were careful not to wake him with the gentle touches, content to just watch him slumber for as long as he chooses.

You felt lucky to see him like this, and a large part of you thought taking a bullet was worth it. To be able to see him so relaxed and content was something you never thought you would be able to witness. It was like the eighth wonder of the world seeing him so…at ease.

You were hopelessly in love with this man, feelings that ran so deep it almost ached to feel them entirely. Your heart was filled to the brim with absolute adoration for Simon, and it was the one thing in your life you knew would never change, you would always be his.

Simon began to stir slowly as if sensing your tender gaze, even submerged in dreams. Blearily his eyes flickered open to meet your smiling face, and for a moment he simply blinked in bemused confusion - as if certain this couldn't be real.

But no, you were there. Warm and soft and smiling down at him like he was some kind of miracle himself. It still struck him dumb sometimes, the purity of your emotion shining through despite all he’s put you through. That you could look upon a wreck of a man like him and feel anything close to what swelled in his own heart.

Wordlessly, Simon reached up to lightly brush calloused knuckles against your cheek, drinking in every beloved feature like a dying man granted water. He didn’t deserve your forgiveness. Didn’t deserve the love shining in your eyes, warming him through like sunlight, but he'd be damned if he wasn’t going to spend every last day making sure you never regretted giving him a place beside you.

“Mornin’, Sunshine,” he rumbled, voice sleep-rough but smoldering with intent. Leaning up to capture your lips in a gentle kiss, Simon silently swore to spend his every waking moment showing you just how much you meant to him.

You would smile softly into the kiss, languid and slow in order to make up for lost time. It was only when you both needed to breath that you pulled away, a smile on your lips and eyes crinkled in happiness as his taste lingered on your tongue. You ran a hand through his bed tousled hair with a soft hum.

“Good morning, Si. Slept well, hm?”

Simon stretched out with a groan, nuzzling into your gentle touch like an oversized housecat. Your presence alone was enough to chase the last clinging shards of dreams from his mind, grounding him fully in this blessed moment.

“Mm, best sleep I’ve had in ages, darlin’,” he rumbled, pressing a lingering kiss to your palm.

Meeting your gaze steadily, Simon spoke softly, “from here on out, you’ll have me guardian’ your rest same as your safety. Ain’t no one gonna lay so much as a finger on you again, not while I still draw breath.” A gentle brush of calloused thumbs swept away imaginary tears, etching promise into your skin.

“Im settlin’ down for good, if you’ll have me,” always cautious of hoping, but trusting you to see straight to what lived beneath scar and grit.

Your heart stuttered at his words, nearly stopping as you took a minute to take in his statement.

“If I’ll have you,” you laughed softly, “as if I’ve ever wanted anything more.” Your words were firm, no space for him to think twice about the truth behind what you were saying.

Simon’s brows hiked in delight and disbelieving relief at your response. A brilliant, boyish grin broke across weathered features - for once unburdened by ghosts of his bloody past.

“Then I’m yours, darlin’. Mind, body and soul.” He pledged fervent promises between peppered kisses. “Gonna make you so happy you’ll forget I was ever nothin’ but a no-good outlaw.”

Rolling fluidly, Simon maneuvered your form beneath his bigger one, caging you safely in rough hands and walls of corded muscles. Gazing down at your beauty with something akin to wonder in whiskey eyes, he pressed his brow to yours.

“My light. My home,” he rumbled, pure affection sending shivers down your spine. Happiness felt strange on features so used to scowls - but by God, Simon was going to savor every sweet moment for all he was worth.

You giggled softly at his words and the ticklish feeling of his hasty kisses on your skin, a warm smile near permanent on your lips as you soaked up all the love you had missed out on these past years.

With a brain too fuzzy with pure affection, you spoke words you’d been wanting to for years, “I reckon we head North.” You said, heart once again speeding up as you realized the gravity of your words, you continued, though with waning confidence, “We could find a small plot of land - build ourselves a nice little home and a small barn and coop.” You were rambling as you reached under his arm to grab an envelope tucked into the bedside drawer, “these past couple of months without you here..I’ve been takin’ extra shifts at the saloon. Reckon I’ve got enough here for all that if we’re careful,” you said, hands shaking with fear of rejection as you held out the envelope as if worried he wouldn’t believe you.

Simon’s eyes widened into saucers at your proposition, heartbeat stuttering to a gallop in his heaving chest. For a long moment he could only stare in disbelief - scarcely daring to hope this was real. But then your shy explanation sunk in, washing over him with such a profound surge of pride and love he thought surely his seams would burst. All this time spent in your light, you’d been preparing your future without him even having a clue of knowing. Trusting that in hope when he’d scarcely trusted in himself.

Without warning Simon was clutching you tight against his pounding heart, raining desperate kisses across your sweet face near frantic with tender emotion. “Darlin’ you- this is more’n I ever dreamed could be mine,” he choked, rough thumbs wiping away tears he didn’t remember shedding.

Pulling back just enough to claim your lips in a long, slow glide of unbridled joy, Simon poured every ounce of reverence, gratitude, and love into the kiss for your blessing him so. “North it is, my light - and I’ll spend the rest of my days makin’ you proud of me.”

You would gasp at his sudden movement, holding on tight to him as he peppered kisses across your smiling face before eventually catching your lips with his.

With a soft, relaxed sigh you melted into the kiss, body melting in his hold as you looked up at him with shining eyes. You would cup his face, his cheeks squishing under your hold to create an almost laughable look as you moved your thumbs gently across scarred cheeks with loving ministrations.

“Was hoping you’d say that,” you whispered, giddy with the thought of starting a new life with this man.

Simon grinned unrepentantly down at you, “and what would I say but yes to the sweetest darlin’ this side of creation?” he rumbled, nuzzling fondly into your palm like some great, affectionate bear.

“North we’ll go then, just as soon as you’re on your feet,” Simon declared, pressing a lingering kiss to your brow. His hands swept reverently down your sides, lingering protectively over the slowly healing wound before tipping your chin up to meet his steady gaze.

“I’ll start preppin’ for the trip straightaway, and you just focus on getting your strength back, y’hear?” Low and intent, brooking no argument - but shining with a tenderness to disguise any threat in his words.

You would nod at his firm words, tucking yourself under his chin, “Can’t wait to see the mountains… and the pretty trees.” You said with a happy sigh, “oh! And snow! We’ll have to get cold weather gear - add that to your list.” You said as you grinned up at the man.

Simon listened with rapt attention, holding you close as vision of your bright future danced before his eyes.

“Snow, eh? Can’t say I’ve seen much of that white stuff before…” He mused thoughtfully, already calculating additions to be made to your little home to withstand Northern winters. Wool blankets aplenty, a sturdy chimney, thick oak doors - he’d ensure not a single draft could creep past your cozy walls.

“We’ll have the warmest cabin this side of the mountain, darlin’ - not a soul we’ll envy, I promise ya that.” Calloused fingers carded gently through your hair.

“Cabin or not, there ain’t a soul I envy as long as I have you, Simon.” You said almost immediately, words tumbling out so fast you didn’t remember even thinking them first.

Simon huffed a soft, affectionate laugh at your sweet words, cupping your cheek to brush a grateful kiss to your lips.

“And I you, darlin’. More’n any future this wanderin’ soul coulda dreamed.”

He would follow you to the end of the earth.

“Now, you just focus on healin’, Sunshine. I’ll go rustle us up some supplies proper,” with a soft parting kiss Simon crawled out of the warmth of the bed. With a soft promise to be back quick he left the cabin, boots crunching surefooted trails into the dusty streets. Townsfolk surely sensed the change in their resident outlaw.

True to his word, within quick hours supplies were stacked neat as you please - all necessities for your healing, the journey north, and simple homestead pleasures. Duty was done. Gently slipping back into covers rosy with sleep-warmth, he curled protectively around your rested form, home again at last where he belonged.

The next few days were spent with careful planning, mapping out safe routes and stops for supply refills should you need them.

The morning you were set to leave you were giddier than a child in a candy shop. While the wound still had tender healing to go through, the worst part had healed. There were a few aches here and there should you move too quickly, but nothing like the searing pain it once was.

“I’m ready, Simon!” You said, nearly skipping over to where he was packing the carriage.

Simon grinned wide as a cheshire at your bouncing excitement, spirits lifting further at your every sweet sound. You shone brighter than the rising sun, lighting his heavy heart like dawn breaking on winter’s gloom.

Gently steadying the horses with practiced care, he turned brown eyes alight with warmth and promise upon your rosy face. “Then let's be off to our future, Sunshine - I got a feelin’ It’s gonna be brighter’n any we left behind”

Kicking the team into a steady amble after climbing on, Simon settled back with a content sigh, surveying the dusty trail unfurling ahead like a red carpet rolled out just for their feet. Nothing but open sky and promise as far as the eyes could see - and each mile would bring them closer to simple joys he’d never dared dream.

Calloused fingers found yours, tangling together in bonds stronger than any chain. With your light to lead him true, Simon swore not a demon from either hell nor earth would tear him from you.

The journey was tiring - days spent riding along dirt roads and nights spent tucked away in the back of a little cart, straw bedding doing little to cushion against the splintered wooden planks.

Yet you wouldn’t trade it for the world - not with Simon by your side to keep you warm and safe, to regale you with tales of his past life and adventures.

As you made your way through the northern mountains your body seemed to relax even more than it had been, gazing out upon the sacred land as you inched ever closer to your destination.

Each mile marker fell away like shackles, yet still Simon was loathe to see the journey end - if only to keep your radiance shining beside him a moment more.

Nights found him awake long after your restful breaths smoothed to dreams, watching over your slumber as stars wheeled endlessly beyond paper-thin walls. You were here, smiling still as dawn kissed snow capped pines in greeting, two weary souls near to their destination and all the hopes therein.

By mid-morn a cheer went up as a familiar clearing broke through evergreens. Turning brown eyes bright as brandy, Simon rumbled softly, “ Welcome home, darlin’.” He said, voice near a whisper as he took in the magnificent sight in front of him.

You would gasp as you finally reached the little plot of land, eyes wide as you took in the scene of gorgeous mountains behind and trees abound ahead.

The plot had been cleared just enough for all you talked about, including a little garden. A perfect dreamy homestead just waiting for your caring hands to create.

Simon let loose a rare, boyish whoop of delight at your awestruck expression, every hardship and dark deed weighing his heavy soul suddenly justified a thousand times over.

“I know it’s a sight a bit rougher than your sunny smile, but just you wait’ll I get my hands to work!” Brown eyes gleamed with fierce passion and promise, already thinking about feats of forestry and framing his calloused fingers itched to create.

With care belying his bulky frame, Simon quickly began unpacking essentials for a cozy camp - sparse but sufficient until more permanent lodgings could be raised from rich wood.

“For now let's get you fed and rest all proper,” he rumbled, pressing a doting kiss to your cheek.

After a humble meal of game Simon caught and red wine from a nearby town, you both fell asleep that night happy and looking forward to the next day when you could find helping hands to start making your perfect home.

It was about a month and a half later when you were done, with the help of many new kind folk, there standing proud and bright was a quaint cottage big enough for the two of you with a bit of extra room for hobbies. It was painted a soft shade of blue, a red wood door adorning the front and a cute little wrap around porch protecting your new shared home.

You stood outside, hands now rough and calloused from hard work resting on your hips as you stared at the building.

Simon slotted the final beam true, wonderment stealing his breath away as months of toil melted beneath the aching brilliance of your smile, every callus and strain of muscle well repaid.

Striding to your side, broad hands gently encircled your waist until foreheads met in shared bliss, eyes aglow with all the tender hopes this home’s thick walls now sheltered.

“Darlin’, I do believe we’ve gone an’ built us our own corner of heaven here,” he rumbled softly, thrilling to feel your heart swell against his in answer. No finer reward than seeing the light in your face nourished by comforts his hands had wrought.

Too choked with tears to respond, you took his hand and stepped inside the new home. The fresh scent of cedar and pine filling your nose as you explored each and every room with child-like wonder. Simon watched with a gentle smile as you explored your new domain, following dutifully behind as he too studied each detail with a sharp painter’s eyes, mentally furnishing each bare space with memories and comforts yet to be.

Turning you gently in well worn hands when the tour came to an end, Simon gazed upon your sweet face with all the devotion of endless skies.

You all but smirked up at him, planting a soft kiss on his lips before encircling your arms around his neck to press warm bodies together.

“Reckon we need to uh… christen that new bedroom of ours, hm?” You teased, a hint of something mischievous in your voice as you batted long eyelashes up at him.

Simon let out a low chuckle, eyes already turning dark as rich barley fields at your siren’s song. Fingers trailing feather-soft along the flawless planes of cheek and jaw long dreamed of, he peered deep into eyes overflowing with all he once believed himself unworthy of.

Scooping you up with practiced care, never breaking contact save to brush a reverent kiss to willing lips, Simon turned towards the bedroom with a purposeful stride.

“An’ why darlin’, I reckon that’s the finest idea I’ve heard in many a year,” gently shouldering through freshly hung door to deposit treasure of beyond calculating worth amidst downy rumples waiting to cradle your joinings, Simon gazed upon the angel fate had seen fit to place within his blessed and devoted keeping.

The night was spent with soft moans filling the room, Simon near worshiping your body as he pulled every whine and whimper he could out of your sweet lips. He was intent on showing you just how deeply he loved you, no doubt leaving you nearly unable to walk the next morning because of it.

As you lay in the bed, the only furniture in the house, you gazed out the window with a weary yet blissful gaze - body content with the pleasure it had been blessed with before you fell asleep with a happy hum, spent bodies pressed against one another as you drifted off into a peaceful slumber. The next days and weeks would bring their own hardships, but here in this moment you were safe and full with love. With Simon holding you close and protective in his arms you were happier beyond belief, and you felt more than lucky that you would get to feel this same way for the rest of your new shared lives. You had saved Simon from damnation, your golden light pulling him from the dark. You were his salvation, his everything.

end~

#cod modern warfare #cod x reader #cod fanfic #cod x male reader #cod imagine #male reader #fanfic #ghost cod #ghost x male reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon ghost riley x male reader #simon riley x gn reader #simon riley x you #ghost #ghost x you #simon riley x male reader

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astrobei · 7 months

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hi i love your fics and I was wondering if you had any byler fic recs

thanks

hello there! in all honesty, i have not had the time to read a lot of byler fic as of late, but it’s been a while since i posted some recs so i’ll drop a few that i’ve enjoyed recently! as always, i do endorse every fic in my bookmarks to the highest possible degree, so always feel free to look through those for new reading as well <3

say it with your hands by pseudologia (@hellfiremike) — will is a new employee at the movie theater mike works at, and mike starts thirsting over will’s hands to a degree that’s downright detrimental to his employment status

GOD. this fic. i gushed in their dms immediately after finishing it because this might be my favorite modern will characterization of all time, and this is coming from someone who has a million and one takes on modern era will byers. this fic just checked all of my boxes — from the summertime romance to mike’s painfully in-character teenage angsting to will being a frequenter of star wars reddit threads and an enjoyer of sufjan stevens. and the TENSION. oh god the tension. i’ve read all their fics probably three times over each, and i also highly recommend like i am home again, a college au set during a halloween party which made me stare at my phone refreshing ao3 hourly until it updated, and can this be a real thing (can it?) wherein mike and will reunite in a gay bar. enough said

landslide by chamb3rs — the party’s senior year of high school

i don’t often reach for chaptered fics since i usually have such limited reading time, but i’m sooo so so happy i stumbled across this one. there have just been very few fics that have touched me like this one did. i blew through this in one sitting a few weekends ago and subsequently experienced the full range of human emotions (and then some) all in the span of a few hours. everything about this was perfect — the will pov, the weird liminality of transitional periods, the party and byhop family dynamics, down to my favorite portrayal of theeeee jennifer hayes in any fic ever. on top of all of that, this fic perfectly captures the heartbreaking euphoria of being in love with your best friend, and all the ups and downs that come with it. i crawled out of the ao3 tab covered in blood and my chest was hurting and i was shaking and i had damn near chewed my own arm off — and then i sent the link to my friend 10 minutes later and watched her experience the same exact thing like a train wreck in slow-mo HAHAHA

what a time to be alive by passerine_in_jade (@newlesbianprideflag) — will disappears and haunts mike from the upside down

i’m forever a total sucker for a good haunting metaphor, so it’s absolutely not a surprise that this fic is appearing on this list. the premise for this was so so so cool and interesting, and it’s another chaptered fic i’m glad i had a little extra time to read. the way the author had me rooting for mike and will the whole time even though half of the pairing was offscreen for a large majority of the fic is a highly commendable feat. mike’s unyielding loyalty to will and will’s constant faith in him felt so true to their canon selves, and there were so many moments that were so quiet and intimate and tender that i really felt like i was intruding on something. good good stuff

that’s what you get for falling in love by harriet_vane — will gets his first boyfriend in college, and mike, ever the ally, has very normal feelings about it

i want to preface this by saying that this fic is rated m, mostly just for mentions/allusions to sex, and one largely non-explicit portion of a scene in the last chapter. if that’s not your cup of tea, it’s easy to tell when it’s coming up and to skip past it without detracting from the plot, but i think it would be a greater detriment to not rec this fic at all, because it has quickly made the list of my favorite byler fics of all time. something about this take on jealous mike especially resonated with me — his inner monologue is simultaneously hilarious and depressing, and his obliviousness regarding his feelings for will feels so true to life without being overdone or cartoonish. you can tell just how much they really care for each other, and the conflict in this actually made me start crying because it felt so visceral and so fundamentally them. you can tell this author really understands their characters, and the love put into this fic is soooo palpable. it’s the kind of fic where you want to bonk their heads together to knock some sense into them, but you are helpless to do anything but hold on as you’re swung along for the ride.

finally, i try not to just rec fics written by my friends, but my recent reading list would be incomplete without these two wonderful additions:

the way you love me by strangeswift (@strangeswift) — byler exes (absolutely heartwrenching edition)

i’ve been hearing abby talk about her ideas for this fic for the better part of a year as she worked on it, and she actually edited and posted the first two chapters while i was visiting her! and by god is this world a better place with her byler exes concept in it, because if you want angst, you’ll never have to look further than her ao3 page. something about the way she writes will in this fic just makes my heart shrivel up and die in my chest — his quiet resignation, the bitterness (always love a good bitter will byers moment) and the Longing that never quite went away. mike’s characterization is also top notch, and you can really feel the chemistry between them during every interaction. at the time of me posting this list, chapter 4 is not yet up, but trust me when i tell you guys it’s going to soooooo be worth it. :-)

the end is here by bookinit (@bookinit02) — a speculative byler-centric season 5

if you’ve been following my blog for any amount of time, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that haven’s canon rewrite series is hands-down my favorite series across any pairing and fandom. her creativity with her season 5 concepts never fails to astound me — from the scripts she’s been working on as an alternative to the episodes she rewrote for s1-4, to her ideas for possible plot lines, and just incredible writing all around. i’ve had the privilege of reading through her scripts before she posts them to her blog (definitely go check them out) but special privilege bias aside, it takes soooo much skill to create such a visually powerful story in a medium that allows for such little narration, and the corresponding chapters just totally pushes it over the edge. pre-s5 required reading for every byler, and 100000% my new canon if the show doesn’t pan out

this definitely is not an exhaustive list because i have a million and one fics on my to-read, and one day i will get around to reading them all, but i hope there is something on this list that strikes your fancy!!

#mutuals specifically there are so many fics i need to catch up on im sorry #once i’m done w school im coming for you all truly #anyways i hope there are some here you guys like! sorry it’s not the longest list and sorry i babbled #actually no i’m not #i have a lot of feelings abt fics i like.#these r all fics that likeeeeee. make me want to Write #which is the highest compliment i can personally bestow #byler #byler fic rec #suni reads

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luvhughes43 · 1 year

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tornado warning | nico hischier x reader

summary: every summer nico comes back home to Switzerland and resumes his fling with yn even though she knows it’s not good for her.

lyrics: "don't understand how quickly we get right back in our rhythm without missing a step, and logically the last thing i should have on my mind but i want you there sometimes"

"i guess maybe thats why im lying to my therapist, i keep saying things like "i never saw him and we never kissed"

word count: 1.1k

you and nico were kind of a thing before he moved to the us for hockey. it was the average high school relationship, hand holding and late night talks on the phone. it was never supposed to be how it is now. you weren’t together, but every time off-season hit, Nico was back in Switzerland and you were suddenly calling out for him and he was there, every single time.

Don't understand how quickly we get

Right back in our rhythm without missing a step

And logically, the last thing I should have on my mind

But I want you there sometimes

he had just gotten back in the country less than 24 hours ago, and your mind was already reeling with how quick everything was already going. he was in your bed shirtless, arms slung around your waist as soft music played in the background. you could feel the rise and fall of his chest against your side, and you could feel his soft hair against your fingertips as you let them brush across his scalp.

“Ni?” you whispered, unsure if he had already fallen asleep.

“Yes?” he replied groggily, not bothering to move so he could look up at you.

you debated on asking him what the two of you were, what you were even doing. you knew that when he inevitably left you again at the end of the summer you would be a wreck, and despite yours, your friends, and your therapists advice, you couldn’t quit Nico.

I guess maybe that's why

I'm lying to my therapist

I keep saying things like

"I never saw him and we never kissed"

your lovely therapist knew all about your relationship with Nico. It was a topic that came up regularly during your hour-long sessions.

“I just don’t know what i’m going to do about this, like… we always fall back into how things were, and i just don’t know if i can do it anymore,” you went over your dilemma for what seemed like the hundredth time. your therapist nodded her head slowly as she listened to you once again reiterate your issues.

she set her pen down against her notepad before looking into your eyes, “be honest, have you seen him since he came back?” she questioned and you tried to still your fidgeting.

“No, i never saw him. I’ve just heard from friends who’ve seen him around,” you lied smoothly, shifting a little on the couch you were sitting on. If your therapist knew you had kissed him too… multiple times… you knew what she’d say. she wants you to move on but how can you when Nicos at your doorstep and is asking for you? you just can’t seem able to get over him.

I think he's onto me every time I say

"I'm over that son of a bitch"

“I am so over him,” you slur to your friends who all give each other side glances. you’ve been telling them the same thing for years, and it seemed like Nico had a sixth sense when it came to you trying to get over him. Every time you declared you were over him, he was calling or doing something to pull you right back in.

“yn honey, why don’t you-” your friend started but you eagerly cut her off.

“no like seriously this time, how dare he come back to me! like he thinks he can just come back into my life every damn time!” you practically shouted, getting up off the couch to really make your point clear. You pointed in the directions of each of your friends and continued, “next time he calls, guys i swear just take my phone and block him because i am never, and i mean never! talking to him again!” you slurred your words and your friends just nodded at your new attempt to rid yourself of Nico.

not even a minute later he was calling your phone, your ringtone blaring through the material of your jeans as you urgently fished it out. “yn who is it?” one of your friends asked as she moved to stand next to you.

a goofy smile took over your face once you saw Nicos contact. The rest of your friends didn't even need to peek at your phone to know who was calling. “i’m just going to answer it,” you giggled a bit, pulling away from your small group of friends.

“yn no! you just said you were never going to talk to him again!” your friend jumped off the couch and rushed over to you, trying to grab your phone out of your hand before you accepted the call.

she was too late. you shielded your phone from her and quickly accepted, smiling into the phone once you heard Nicos voice on the other end of the call.

“Ni!” you giggled into the call, all of your previous sentiments ignored the second you heard his voice asking for you to come over. all of your friends watched you walk out the door and into his car, all of them groaning when you two drove off.

I'll drive you home

You drive me crazy

But that's not gonna stop me

I'll call you out

You call me "baby"

it was nico’s last night in switzerland before he was catching a flight back to jersey. you were driving him home after a late night at your apartment, not having the urge to turn him away when he called saying he wanted to properly tell you goodbye.

“you drive me crazy, Ni” you sighed, watching him unbuckle himself out of your passenger side.

“what are you talking about baby?” he asked, seemingly unaware of the effect his words had on you.

“I’m not your baby” you admitted softly, turning around so you can face him full on. his brow furrowed at your words. you desperately wanted to say something to him, bring up your feelings or how conflicted you were about this whole relationship-that-wasn’t. but you guys were never the ones to sit and chat about all your feelings, so you let it all go.

“I’m sorry, i think i’m just tired” you tried laughing it off but it sounded a little strained.

“well we had a busy night,” Nico laughed as you felt your face heat up, turning around so he could face you properly too.

you smiled at him, painfully aware that this was the last time you’d be seeing him in months. you felt the lump grow in your throat, and you painfully swallowed it back as Nico reached for the door handle.

Nico opened the door. he halfway outside before he seemingly realized something and leaned back inside, kissing you softly on the lips over the middle of your console.

he pulled away too soon, and then you sat watching him walk away. The lump in your throat getting more painful with every step he took. you had no idea how you were going to get him out of your mind this time.

#sabrina masterlist #nico hischier x reader #nico hischier fic #nico hischier blurb #nico hischier imagine #nhl fanfiction #nhl blurb #nhl fic #nhl imagine

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the-iceni-bitch · 10 months

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“You made me miserable and I still loved you.” With Carol 🥹🥹🥹 I’ll go get my tissues. Wishing you a happy angsty bday 😘

Oooooof, this was the prompt that I knew was going to wreck me so I’m just going to apologize right off the bat 😭

When you spotted her across the bar you froze. It had been months and of course she still looked amazing. You wanted to run. Your heartbeat was getting faster and you were starting to sweat. But for some reason you stayed rooted in place, a high pitched ringing in your ears when she saw you and gave you that same easy smile she used to.

“Hi baby.” It was like she didn’t even remember, or care even, what she had done to you. “God, it’s been a while, how you been?”

All you could manage was a mumble that just barely resembled the word ‘fine’. Anyone else would tell her you were fine. Nobody knew about you crying yourself to sleep every night, or about how worried your doctor had been when you lost so much weight in the two weeks after she ripped your heart out of your chest when you couldn’t manage to keep anything down. What the fuck were you supposed to say to her?

“That’s good. I’ve been thinking about you lately.” She stepped closer and rested her elbow against the bar right next to you, making every hair on your body stand on end. “We did have a good thing didn’t we?”

Before you knew it a laugh bubbled out of your chest. God, you sounded fucking hysterical, laughing like a madwoman and crying as you rested your hand against the bar to hold yourself up.

“Sure, Carol, we did have a good thing.” People were looking at you but you didn’t care. “I felt like we had a fucking great thing. I was planning a whole fucking future for us with a white picket fence and all that shit, looking at matching rings, naming our future dog. And then you,” she still had a damn smirk on her face and you wanted to slap her. “You just left. You said you found someone who made you happy without ever letting me know that I hadn’t been. You knew I was making a future for us. You knew I was devoted to you. You let me plan and plan and plan and then you just fucking left. And you know what’s so fucking stupid?” You were a damn mess at this point but you couldn’t stop yourself. “Even now, looking at you and knowing exactly how much you hurt me, I still want to you to take me back. I still want to believe that maybe this time you really did fucking change and you won’t just abandon me like every other time before. You made me miserable and I still love you. There’s still no one else for me because you have my whole heart after you tore it out of me. And I don’t even know if you ever cared about me or if you were just waiting for me to fuck up so you had an excuse to leave. Fuck you for making me still love you, Carol! And fuck me for just wanting you to hold me and tell me it’s gonna be okay!”

You didn’t know when you collapsed. Or when Carol left. Or who had put their coat around your shoulders while you wailed. All you knew was that you were alone again, like you would be for the rest of your life, and suddenly your tears just stopped. The hole in your chest was throbbing and numb as you rose to your feet to pay your tab, your face back to the blank mask you wore whenever the grief wasn’t overwhelming you. You were a dead woman because of her, but you’d never stop loving her.

⁂❆❅ 𝒥𝑜𝒾𝓃 𝑀𝓎 𝐵𝓁𝓊𝑒 𝐵𝒾𝓇𝓉𝒽𝒹𝒶𝓎 ❅❆⁂

#natalie answers #nat’s blue birthday #carol danvers #carol danvers x reader #carol danvers x you #carol danvers x female reader #carol danvers x y/n #angst #female!reader #asks are always open #love my mutuals

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froggy-demon · 8 months

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Oh, Deer - Part Two

A/N: This is part two to my Alastor x OC slowburn story, I hope you enjoy <3

Chapter Summery: Lilly gets settled at the hotel and a stressful day of work leads her to getting a little closer to one particular staff member.

Part Three

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up to my morning alarm blaring at me, shit I didn’t even think about how long it will take to get from here to work, fucking fantastic. And I have none of my clothes, also fantastic. I book it out the door and head to my old apartment. I grab a book bag I had laying around and stuff as much of my shit in it as I can fit, the less trips back and forth I can make while moving, the better. I change into an outfit for work, a pinstriped mini skirt and a turtleneck blouse with puffy sleeves with my trademark tights and kitten heel Maryjanes, throwing my backpack over my shoulder and getting to work as fast as possible. All in all, I was only 10 minutes late which is a fucking miracle if I’ve ever heard one. I busy myself by checking in with the other assistants and sorting out who is covering what assignments and shows today. Velvette slams open the studio door and is already looking pissed off, the day just started how can it already be going to shit? That question answered itself as behind her trailed in Valentino talking her ear off, switching between whining and yelling.

“Valentino it is time for at least one of us to actually do our jobs, fuck off already and find someone else to bitch to!” She yells at him and stomps off. This pushes him over the edge, he grabs a passing by assistant and snaps her in half, like it’s nothing. I duck my head down and find a way to be very busy and as unnoticeable as possible, hiding behind my clipboard as much as I can.

“No you fuck off Velvette! Tell me what the fuck I can do one more fucking time! Try to run anything once I’m done with you precious shitty studio!” He threw the couch he had trapped that studio aid on just the other day against the wall and it smashed into a hundred pieces. He reached for a fleeing model and ripped her head off, damn and she wasn’t even an annoying model. He rampaged through the room and Velvette just ignored him and stomped my way.

I straightened my back as she approached and tried to not seem bothered by the 10ft lunatic killing my coworkers and ripping apart anything else in his reach. “We are not getting off schedule, get my designers so we can keep our shit on the air! Get them here in the next five minutes while I get fucking Piss Baby out of here.” She Barked and I nodded

“Yes Ma’am.” She seemed pleased enough and walked off to order around anyone else still breathing. I used my ear piece to try to locate the desired designers, keeping my back to the scene behind me.

“Designers, if most of your limbs are still attached, your presence is requited by Ms. Velvette immediately, bring what you have been working on for her and try not to be killed on your way.” I received 4 affirmatives and glanced back to see Velvette on her phone to presumably Vox. Thank Satan, this was definitely a big guns problem. I looked around at a few cowering workers near me and smoothed out my clothes. “C’mon, get this place straightened up. It’s a fucking mess in here, get a broom and a mop, now.” The three jumped up, though a bit reluctantly, and went in search for the cleaning supplies. I saw Velvette manage to force Valentino out the studio door and lock it behind him, hopefully keeping him out. I saw two of the designers come in and waved them over, having them stand up on a small platform that wasn’t totally wrecked and Velvette made her way over.

She was clearly still not happy, but at least wasn’t getting worse. Vox appeared next to her with a cheeky smile plastered onto his plasma face, contrasting her fiery attitude. I thought I saw him give me a small scowl, but I've never spoken to Vox, it couldn't be personal. He asked her where Valentino had gone and was back on his way.

The day continued with far fewer bumps, minus the power outage caused by Vox's tantrum. Valentino stayed away so I guess Vox was able to calm him down well enough and Velvette stayed at a manageable level of pissed off until the outtage.

“Fucking hell! Fine fuck him, everyone go the fuck home!” She screeched and no one was waiting to confirm that order. I grabbed my bag and booked it out of the building and back to the hotel. Alastor’s broadcast was all I could hear people talking about, though they kept it hushed so close to the Vs. Losing was not something they, especially Vox, liked. When I walked through the door I was surprised to find a new face in the parlor. He was a snake demon and Charlie was excitedly chatting with him while Vaggie stood to the side looking apprehensive.

“Here she is!” Charlie exclaimed turning to me, smiling ear to ear. “Lilly! This is Sir. Pentious, he is our next guest at the hotel!” She motioned for us to shake hands, which I obliged. He seemed nervous, but still gave a small smile.

“Ah, Lilly, it isss quite nice to meet another future redemption-ee!” He said and I tried to return his smile.

“Lilly he blew up the hotel this morning.” Angel added dryly, I stopped smiling and looked at Charlie confused. Angel clearly wasn’t buying whatever the serpent was telling Charlie.

“He said he is sorry! That’s what we’re all about, second chances!” She defended and really tried to sell it. I looked between her and Sir. Pentious, a little skeptical myself honestly.

“If you are confident, I will trust your judgement.” I stated and turned to Angel, who filled me in on all of the details on the fight that had taken place that morning while Charlie taught Sir. Pentious how to apologize to Alastor. Geez, you go in for one shift and miss everything!

“Say, Dear, how did my little show go over at Vs HQ?” Alastor asked, appearing behind me and giving me a bit of a fright. He sounded particularly staticy. Angel rolled his eyes at his theatrics. I turned to face the demon and met his glowing eyes for a moment before looking back at Angel.

“I couldn’t say for sure, but I’d say not well. Vox particularly was still glitching and zapping about when Velvette dismissed us after the power shut down. We couldn’t do anything with him fucking up all of the tech.” I said and he laughed, clearly pleased with himself and patted my head. Angel was deeply distracted by his phone, someone was texting him quite a lot, every few seconds his phone would buzz with a new notification.

“Wonderful to hear! I’m glad I got my message across.” His eyes glowed a bit brighter, clearly there was some contempt held for Vox, and it went both ways. Seeing him like that sent a little zap of fear through me. I know what he’s done to those he doesn’t like to get what he wants, but he chooses to be so hands off with it this time? Maybe he just wanted to give a fair warning, I don’t know, but I do not want to get in the middle of it. “Speaking of your work,” He moved to stand between me and Angel now. “Why not find some new employment now that your housing is supplied? Something less television based maybe?” He eyed me, as though he suspected me of something. I tried to look past him to Angel again, but he blocked my vision, seemingly growing a little taller, a little more menacing.

“Well, as much as I’d like to,” I said a tad nervous of the overlord in front of me “I can’t. Velvette owns me, my soul that is. As a day job it isn’t too bad at least.” I mumble the last sentence and Alastor raises an eyebrow at me. Angel is still preoccupied, but I see him throw a look my way when I mention my deal.

“Deals aren’t usually Velvette’s style, she typically prefers to leave that work to the boys, how unfortunate for you then.” He says, returning to his normal chipper self and walks off. As he disappears I finally take stock of myself, I look like shit. There is dried blood on my shoes and spots of guts dotting my outfit for the Valentino’s carnage earlier, gross.

“Angel, I’m going to take a shower and unpack a little you know where to find me if you need anything okay?” He doesn’t look up, clearly in a mood, sitting down on a nearby chair and crossing his legs over the arm and mumbles out an okay. I make my way upstairs, to my room, and then turn on the hot water for the shower attached to my room. After peeling off my clothes it felt good to let the hot water wash over me. The water pressure was better here too. A little refresh is really what I needed after today. Once I felt better I rummaged through my bag until I found my pjs, a pair of little shorts and an oversized t-shirt VTech gave out during some marketing campaign, it was at least comfortable. I started to unpack more and realized Niffty must have been here earlier because there was significantly less dust everywhere and my bed spread seemed freshly laundered. I will have to thank her the next time I see her. Just as I’m finishing up I hear some kind of commotion coming from somewhere in the hotel, what the fuck was that? I poke my head out and hear more noise, like someone is fighting, is that Angel Dust? I run down to the noise and meet Charlie and Vaggie walking up to the same disturbance.

Angel says that Sir. Pentious is working for the Vs, but I can smell the liquor on him from here, and the snake denies the accusation. Angel rolls his eyes and points out the video camera hidden between two books on the shelf, causing Sir. Pentious to panic. He screams into his watch to help him as Vaggie face palms and it's my turn to roll my eyes. Not only is he a spy, he’s an absolutely terrible one at that. I can hear Vox laughing at him though the watch, but Charlie has big doe eyes. He begs for a quick murder, but Charlie welcomes him in with open arms, despite protests from the three of us. After a set of profuse apologies, we head back to bed.

Angel has his arms crossed, the whole walk. I want to say something, but he has been in a bad mood all day and I don’t want to accidentally make it worse. “Angel, y'know I-“ but he waves me off.

“I don’t want to talk about it. Work shit, and we said work shit stays at fucking work.” He snaps, but sighs and I know he isn’t mad at me, just someone else. My guess, Val. I wonder if that’s what Valentino was raging about this morning, I hope for Angel’s sake it’s not. He slams the door to his room and I turn towards mine, just to be greeted by Alastor, he sure does have a knack for popping up.

“Take off your shirt, Dear.” He glares at it, taking me back. This is a tone shift.

“Excuse me?” I ask, taking a step back, not there there is really anywhere to go if you want to run from a shadow walking overlord at night.

“Well, I’m going to burn it and I just figured you would want it off your body before I do that, but if you prefer,” Alaster smirked and lit a small fireball in his hand “you can keep it on!” He was very serious, I look back down at my shirt, I guess I set myself up for this one wearing a shirt with Vox’s face plastered on it, but hey it was a free shirt. I yanked it off and Alastor took two big steps towards me and took it from my hands, his eyes glowed devilishly as he set it on fire and watched Vox’s face burn away while he grinned ear to ear. “Much better! I appreciate your cooperation, however,” he bent down to my height and made me look him in the eyes. His voice grew more staticy as he said “I better not see anything else with his face on it here.”

I nodded, it was all I could manage, I felt frozen in place and suddenly self-conscious as I realized I was in my bra and shorts in front of a murderous overlord, not exactly confidence inspiring for me. He stood back up straight and spun his cane, pleased with himself. “Very well, Goodnight!” He sang and I didn’t wait before quickly going into my room. Great, now I need a new sleep shirt, that will be a tomorrow night problem. I got into bed and curled up. I’m not doing amazing at staying off Alastor’s bad side, maybe tomorrow I will break that streak.

The next morning I joined everyone else in the parlor downstairs, I had some time for once before I was needed at work. Charlie excitedly explained that we were doing some bonding activities as a group today, that it would help if we all trusted and got to know each other. I wanted to check in on Angel, but he was still hung up on his phone. Okay, so I’m going to have to make a second friend, it can’t be that hard can it? What do I have to work with?

Niffty is a little… crazy… maybe not my first choice. Let’s see Sir. Pentious is eager, but do I have anything at all in common with him? Let’s see he likes building things? Nope. He likes being a leader, of his egg boys at least, uh in the right light sometimes you could kinda say I like bossing people around. I think that’s everything I’ve learned about him though, and I’m not really someone who goes out looking for a fight anymore, even if Cherri wants me to. Vaggie is a little too focused on Charlie I think to start worrying about anyone else, I can’t blame her, as sweet as Charlie is she is also a handful. I think Alastor is waiting for me to sneeze wrong to justify breaking my neck and is no where to be seen sooooo… my new friend is going to have to be Husk! The only hard part about that is he doesn’t really ever want to participate in our activities. I can work with that though.

I take a seat next to Husk for activity time and give him a small smile. I haven’t really gotten what his deal is from Angel yet, maybe he just acts tough. “So, Husk, what brings you to the hotel? You don’t really seem like you’re here for redemption to me.” I ask trying to sound cheery. He just rolls his eyes at me though.

“My job.” He huffs out, motioning over to the bar. Okay smartass. I fold my arms and lean forward towards him.

“And out of all the bars in hell, why work at this one? Don’t tell me its for the dental insurance.” I quipped and he almost smiles. He leans back in his chair and looks across the room at nothing in particular.

“Alastor, he tells me to go so I go.” He finally says. Ah, could Alastor really own his soul? I won’t press for now. Satisfied with the answer I sit back in my seat and he slumps down more in his, but then my phone rings. Velvette, why is Velvette calling me? I don’t hear from her that much seeing as I never have a day off anyway, not even extermination days. I hop up out of my seat so not to bother anyone and answer the phone.

“Yes Ma’am?” I answer, stepping out of the room. She shouts that she needs me immediately, one of the models didn’t show up today and now she needs extra hands on deck and I better be there immediately. I try not to let her hear me sigh or sound disappointed. I guess I did get to sleep a couple extra hours which is more than enough to be grateful for. “Yes Ma’am.” I reply and she stresses I better hurry or I’ll be costuming for Valentino’s sets for the next year and she hangs up. I walked back in and the group looks up at me waiting for my explanation. “Okay guys, sorry to cut the team building short, but I’m needed at work sooner than expected, sorry Charlie.” Charlie looked disappointed.

“Oh.. so when do you have a day you don’t work anyway?” She asks. “We’ll just catch you up then!” She beams at her great idea. Angel chuckles, Cherri probably has told him before if he knows my situation.

“I don’t get any days off, sometimes I only work 10 hour days though!” I tried to make that sound like a good thing and gave her a thumbs up, but Charlie frowned again.

“Well that’s not good, you’ll never have any time for our activities then!” She protested and started pacing. “Can’t you just say you need a day off for something important?” She looked at me with those big doe and and I shook my head, crossing my arms.

“Some of us have jobs, dollface, contracts.” Angel points out dryly. He finally looks up from his phone to give Charlie a pointed look. It must be nice to be her.

“There are no days off for me, if Velvette says come in I can’t say no. It’s just the way it is. Now she’s waiting for me, I have to get going.” I slip on my shoes and head for the door leaving a protesting princess behind.

I get there as quickly as possible and as soon as I walk through the door Velvette is tapping her foot waiting for me. She looks as pissed as usual, but it isn’t usually my direct fault that she’s pissed off.

“Now, I happen to know that your apartment is all of five fucking minutes away so how the fuck did that take 25 minutes today?” She demands. Since when has she even known where I live? I straighten my back, I am not used to talking back to her, usually we even work pretty well together. “Well, spit out whatever pathetic excuse you have and get to begging for forgiveness! Some of us have important shit to be doing!” An assistant walked up to her and they quietly conversed while he showed her a different selection of blouses.

“I moved Ma’am.” I stated, adverting my eyes. She snapped her head away from her conversation to look at me again.

“Well who the fuck told you to do something stupid like that? I need you near here for when I call you, fucking move back.” She said it like it doesn’t matter where I live or what I think if it doesn't serve her needs. She might own my soul, but that is not our deal.

“Ma’am, with all the respect in hell, I cannot do that.” I stayed cool, that’s good. She walked over to me, until she was less than a foot away from my face. Her red eyes glowing and piercing into mine.

“The fuck you will. As fucking kind as I am to you every fucking day, whose dick you’re riding just to crash in their shitty bed anyway?” She snapped at me, glaring at me while waiting for my answer.

I took a deep breath. “Charlie Morningstar, Ma’am, well her hotel that is.” I added, looking down. Velvette was seething in front of me. She grabbed me and threw me to the ground. I hit my head hard on the stone floor, because exactly what I need is another head injury.

“Don’t give me that kind of bullshit ever again. Remember who you are speaking to.” She spoke through gritted teeth. She materialized the link between us, the chain attaching me to her, our deal. I knew exactly what I signed, but she was right. I should have held my tongue. She used it to pull me to my feet in front of her. “Now get to fucking work.” She spat and let me go. I stayed on my feet and smoothed my outfit and hair, composing myself for the coming day.

“Yes Ma’am.” I kept my eyes on the floor as she rolled her eyes.

“Good, now get Kelly Killjoy’s suit options ready, it’s almost time for her to be on air, then come back to me.” And then she waved me away and I was happy to be able to walk away. I did as I was ordered, bringing the approved wardrobe to the news host's dressing room for her to pick from once ready. I raced back to the studio room to see what was next and Velvette sneared at me when she saw me. "Perfect, the seamstresses need a pin cushion, go be that until they are done with their projects.” And she turned away from me again. A pin cushion, this was going to be a long day.

Twenty hours later I am still in the studio, but I have finished every task I’ve been given, skillfully I might add. Well, as skillfully as one can be a pin cushion, mannequin mover, and general studio bitch without a single moment to sit or even pee. I was back in front of Velvette awaiting her next order. She looked at me and shook her head.

“Morning, cunt. Your outfit is hideous and you look more terrible than usual.” She said and zapped me into a new outfit, honestly the highlight of my day to have on something fresh, but really it was just a toned down version of her own outfit, but is all grey. Of course she would think her outfit was better. “Now perk the fuck up, I need you to set up the lights for the shoot we’re doing for my fabulous new clothing line today! And set up all the looks we created for it. Make sure those fucking models look right too, I can’t stand shitty sloppy work.” She said and I nodded, hoping it will be easy to learn how to set up studio lights.

“Yes Ma’am.”

After falling off a ladder more than once setting up the lights, organizing all of the set groups of items for the photo shoot, and labeling them, and then adjusting every single item on the models throughout the 10 hour shoot, I was ready to beg for Velvette’s forgiveness. I hadn’t had a drop of rest or caffeine in nearly two full days.

Finally I was told to go home, but to be back tomorrow bright and early with a smile on my face. I don’t know what pissed Velvette off so badly in the first place that she felt the need to take it out on me, but maybe tomorrow will be different, unlikely, but maybe. I walked into the hotel and went straight to the bar, come to think of it that might be one of the best parts about living here. I slumped onto a stool putting my head down on the bar. Husk raised an eyebrow at me while he was organizing his bottles.

“I wasn’t sure if you were coming back when no one saw you last night, where ya been?” He asked, he didn’t sound concerned, but he did sound curious. I picked my head up and propped myself up on my elbows.

“Work. I’ve been at work since I left. Someone pissed off Velvette and that became my personal problem.” I muttered. I took a deep breath, I don’t need to bitch about my shitty day though that won’t have made it any better. No, I wanted a boost, I should go out I want to feel good about myself. I don’t want Velvette to be able to dictate my mood like this.

“My, my, someone looks a little worked over,” Alastor sang as he walked up. “Did someone mistake you for a pin cushion?” He asked lifting my arm to inspect the hundreds of tiny and sore pricks in my skin. I pulled my arm away from him, trying not to humor him.

“Hello to you too, Sir.” I said, holding back my irritation. I look at husk and he poured me a drink, I give him the best smile I could muster when he placed it in front of me. Alastor took the seat next to me, crossing one leg over the other and giving me his signature smile. I took a sip and let the warm feeling wash over me.

“Tell me, is television work loosing its charm? Such superficial work after all, but maybe that’s how you prefer it, dear.” He laughed at his own joke and tapped his cane on the ground. I drank more of the mixed drink Husk had made me, but it didn’t cool me off as much as I needed it too. I gave him another look and he went to pour me another but I looked up at him and motioned to just give me the bottle.

“Aye, take it easy kid.” He said, but still handed it over. I took three big gulps and set it down.

“Alastor, I’m not in the mood for your insults and condescension, I think I’ve had more than enough of those today.” I said dryly and took another drink. He looked at his nails, as if he didn’t have a care in the world, enjoying getting a rise out of me.

“Oh, but I’m positive they haven’t been as witty as mine will be! Humor me won’t you? It’s been so boring today.” He leaned towards me, it was another request that didn’t really sound like a request. I couldn’t push back against Velvette, but I could with Alastor, maybe. I finished the bottle for some confidence and got out of my seat.

"No." I told him flatly, that should have been enough to get him off my back, but not Alastor.

"come now, don't tell me the big bad overlords you've worked for for years just now broke your spirit! Where's your moxie dear?" the demon quipped, leaning an elbow on the bar. I could feel my misplaced anger building, but shit he didn't have to be such a prick when I clearly was in a bad mood. I can't have five fucking minutes of peace?

“I told you, fuck off!” And stomped out the door, throwing aside the now empty bottle.

Fucking Radio Demon, fucking Velvette! I’m more than that, I’m not just someone to shove around. I don’t have to take that, not when I’m not at work. She might be able to give me as much shit as she wants, hell she could actually assign me to fuck ass Valentino’s porno costuming I wouldn’t even care, but I will not go home and have some other demon make me feel like shit too. I’m worth something!

I look up from the sidewalk that I’ve been so concentrated on and realize I don’t really have anywhere to go, I’m tired of bars and clubs, but hell maybe it'll make me feel like a person again anyway. Maybe someone will talk to me like I’m just a fucking person. So at the next neon sign I see advertising a drink I walk in and order and get just that. It doesn’t take long, it never does in hell, until someone starts talking me up, buying me a drink, then another, and another, and then says we should get out of here. He's good looking for a demon, tall and thin with blood red hair and long black horns twisting out of it like a ram's. I agree. I follow him outside and he starts taking me down an odd way, its quiet and dark here, but maybe he lives on a quiet street in hell, what do I know. Then he turns around, smiling, and holding a handgun. It takes a moment to register. He closes the distant between us.

“What are you doing?” I ask, he laughs and grabs my arm. I’m not stable enough to avoid it and he pushes me up against the alleyway wall and points the gun at my chest.

“I’m robbing you, dipshit, cough up whatever you have on you. I know someone dressed as pretty as you has a couple of bucks to spare right?” He sneers and shifts the barrel to under my chin. The only problem was I really didn’t have anything else. I had maybe a single dollar on me after buying that first drink and I don’t think that’s what he wanted to hear.

Then all the sudden he was off of me, I fell a little and caught my breath which I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. What the fuck was that? I looked around and saw a familiar pair of eyes walking out of the darkness, blazing red. Shadow tentacles were holding up the attempted robber as Alastor emerged from the darkness, how is Alastor here? He was taller than his normal stature, and had a sinister smile, antlers protruding from his hair. This is the demon I’d heard on the broadcast those years ago, he had bloodlust in his eyes.

“I don’t think so.” His voice was thick and distorted cutting up the still night, I could feel the energy pouring off of him. I didn’t know if I should stay where I was or get the fuck away from there at this point, but my legs felt too heavy to run very far. I looked up at him with wide eyes, it was like a car accident I didn’t want to watch him rip this demon in half, but I also couldn’t look away. He laughed maniacally as the sinner he held begged for forgiveness and his life. The Radio Demon drew him closer “Is that anyway to treat a lady?” Static filled the air and there was ringing in my ears, it felt like it was pounding in my head to the point that it was difficult to keep looking up. Alastor met my eye for one brief moment and then, unexpectedly, threw the creature across the city rather than ripping him in half. His piercing eyes didn’t change as he began to return to his normal self as he walked toward me having eliminated the threat. The static softened and I felt a weight leave my chest. “Terribly sorry for the fright! Charlie sent me to make sure you came back to the hotel in one piece tonight, I didn’t expect to find you in so much trouble.” He put an arm around me for support, but I shook it off. As uneasy as I felt I’m not sure if he was the one I should take it from.

“I wasn’t expecting any help, especially from you.” It came out as a statement of near disbelief, but I was still angry. Recovering from the personality whiplash Alastor had given me I took a few steps away towards the entrance of the alley. How am I supposed to see that and then trust him? “I can handle myself.” My knees wobbled and I leaned my palm on the wall again for support.

“Clearly.” He said sarcastically and smoothed his hair back where his antlers had disrupted it. “You sure did seemed to have a handle on that one! Next time I’ll just let it run its course, how’s that sound?” He adjusted his tie and grinned. More of his bullshit. I took another step back, I was certainly afraid of the power I’d just witnessed, but looking at him now he was just another demon.

“Whatever, I don’t need to take this bullshit, you can’t just talk to me like that because you’re used to being scary, I get enough of this every other hour of my day. Maybe you can treat Husk however you want because you own his ass, or other people are just too scared to say shit, but I’m exhausted! I’m too tired to bite my tongue and,” I was running out of steam, and those burning red eyes were still bearing into mine “it seems I’ll never get out of that cycle.” I slid down the wall to my side and held my knees to my chest. “I just, I’m tired of filtering myself to fit the situation I’m in. Just to please someone who can’t even tell the difference anyway. Putting up the right front to help maintain her goddamn brand. I can't do it with you too.” I sighed. How disgusting. Here I am shouting at someone who would love to rip my head off my body, just because my boss is shitty and unappreciative, and now I’m pitying myself for it on the ground of a filthy alleyway. This might just be my rock bottom.

Alastor quietly walked to my side and placed a hand on my shoulder, sending a jolt through me. “If it’s any help, I’m condescending to everyone!” It was so stupid, so fucking stupid I had to let out a laugh. Geez, at least it isn’t personal I guess. I ran a hand through my hair, looking at my shoes in the dim light. “What was Charlie’s first lesson? Apologies.” I looked at him funny, his red hair nearly looked all black in this lighting, did he want an apology from me? He’s as crazy as Niffty if he thinks that’s happening. I picked at the ground next to my shoe to occupy myself. “Charlie also wanted me to apologize, I didn’t really mean to offend you. While I do find joy in watching the misery of sinners around me, on the other hand I am here to help Charlie and I can’t do that if I’m sending one of her guests spiraling now can I?” He offered me a hand up and I just stared at it for a second. “I’m sorry, Lilly.” He sounded as sincere as I’d ever heard him, which granted was likely a front to save face anyway, but I pushed my pride aside and took his hand, standing back up. It felt good to get that rant out of my system and it maybe even felt a little good to get an apology. I brushed the grime off of my skirt as best as I could, looking back at Alastor. He looked happy with his pep talk, but he kind of always had that demeanor so it’s hard to say.

“Thank you Alastor.” Was all I managed to say. Pleased, he hooked our arms and pointed us in the direction of the hotel. We were quiet for a minute, I knew it was my turn to say something more, but I couldn’t figure out what was right. I kept dwelling on how he looked back in the alley, how the energy he put off felt all the way down to my bones. Even now it made my skin crawl, I’m quite glad to have made it onto his team I suppose because I would not want to be on the receiving end of that fury. “Why do you want to help Charlie?” I said it as soon as I thought it, but it brought me back to earlier. Husk is here because Alastor is here, but why the hell is Alastor here?

“A good question! It’s really very simple, I think Charlie will succeed and I like to be on the winning team. Plus,” He looked at me with a wicked look in his eyes, “If I’m wrong I’m no worse off and I get to watch everyone else suffer!” And began laughing. Not very comforting, but does make sense. Still I have a feeling Alastor is a few steps ahead in whatever plan he is hatching than he is willing to share. I wonder what else he was working up in his head, he’s difficult to read that’s for sure. The only actual emotions I’m sure he experiences are joy and anger. “If we’re asking intrusive questions now, I must say it’s been plaguing my mind, what exactly do you get out of your deal with Velvette?” He smirked, “Don’t tell me it’s for the dental insurance.” He mocked me, is there anything that happens in that hotel he doesn’t know about?

“You mean besides a boss who won’t fire or fuck me? Well,” I chewed my lip for a moment. I always felt ashamed of my deal, how ironic as I landed myself in hell for the vice of pride in life. “You know it’s not easy starting out down here, one day I met Velvette and she, well she made it look easy.” In life I was the secretary to a man who ran a fashion magazine, I was so enthralled by his work I thought every piece that crossed his desk was genius. I fantasized about what I would design if I was able to. “When Velvette told me what she was doing down here I wanted in, hell a bit of me wanted to be like her, she told me there was only one way I could be on her team, but her success would be my success too and really I didn’t see any other opportunities coming my way. I was naïve and she was happy to take advantage of that. Don’t they all kinda go like that though?” I laughed awkwardly, mentally preparing myself for whatever shitty jab Alastor would make at my expense. He let me stew in it for a minute, or maybe for once he just didn’t know what to say. The sound of my heels rang in my ears as I was aware of his lack of response, buzzing with the city noises happening around us.

“How unfortunate!” He used my arm hooked with his to pull me closer and gave me a sideways smile. “I would have given you a much better deal than that!” And winked at me. I gave a small laugh, right like being his tailor for the rest of my afterlife, how fun. He glared at the window of a TV shop as we passed it, Vox was giving some interview, but it distorted more the longer he looked at it. Just as soon as we had passed it, the screens returned to normal. Another mystery to Alastor. “Don’t worry dear, you aren’t the only soul in hell who has made an unwise deal. I think half the inhabitants of our hotel are in that very same boat with you!” As dumb as it is, it kinda made me feel better that I’m not the only sucker that I know.

We reached the steps of the hotel and he followed me up.

“Well if you need any emergency alterations you know where to find me!” I smiled and opened the door. After all of that I do think Alastor made me feel better, and I still have the entire $1 to my name that I could have lost, or worse.

“Well someone is in a better mood than she was before.” Husk snarked from the bar and I shrugged.

“I didn’t die so I guess I can’t complain too much.” I threw a wink to him and he let out a small chuckle. Alastor cleared his throat to regain my attention, which I gave him, clasping my hands behind my back.

“As happy as I am to have been of service tonight, I must bid you adieu my dear, I have much to do!” He gave my head a pat and made his way up the grand staircase without waiting for a response. I watched him go and disappear down a hallway off to whatever chores awaited him. I let out a well earned yawn and looked back at Husk. Is he always behind the bar? Where does he sleep? When does he sleep? I shook the thoughts from my head and waved him goodnight.

I made my way up to my room but as soon as I drifted off to sleep all that filled my dreams was the image of Alastor in his demon form in the alley, but this time I was his prey. I would focus on his eyes and the intense fear they filled me with, shadow arms raising me higher and higher into the air as he laughed at my pleads for help. His whole body expanded and grew more wicked and disturbingly sharp. One of his claws dragged across my cheek, drawing blood. I woke up in a cold sweat and panting to catch my breath. I went to my bathroom to splash some cool water on my face, but struggled to feel much calmer. It was just a dream, but it was based on real events, even if they didn’t happen quite like that. I decided to throw on a robe and knock on Angel’s door, it was late, but hopefully he would be awake. He opened the door, rubbing his eyes.

“Lilly? What the hell are you doin’ up at this hour?” He asked, one set of arms hugged himself and the other attempted to straighten his hair. I realized how dumb the truth sounded. ‘Oh I had a bad dream and wanted to talk to you’ I couldn’t say that, he would close the door in my face.

I glanced up and down the hallway, surely even Alastor is asleep at this time of night? “I need to tell you about my day, now.” I tried to look very serious, but I was also pretty tired. Angel stepped to the side and let me in, giving me the first proper look of his room. It was very nicely decorated, it looked just like him. Everything was pink and there were little string lights hanging from the wall giving off a soft purple twinkle.

He sat on his bed and patted the spot next to him. “What can’t wait until the mornin’ doll?” I took the seat and crossed my legs in front of me, pulling my robe a little tighter for comfort. “Husk told me you walked out pissed, but nothing else.”

“I just needed to get out. After the last two days of nonstop I just wanted to feel like a person and I didn’t here. Listen, to make a long story short, Alastor showed up to get me out of some hot shit. Apparently Charlie had sent him, but I saw him attack this demon and I, I don’t know I just can’t stop seeing it now. I’ve seen some fucked up shit here, I literally saw my coworkers get torn limb by limb a few days ago, but I don’t know something about how he looked at that demon.” I shivered. “How he looked at me after. It just, it freaked me out a little.” I pulled my legs up to my chest and rested my chin on my knees. Angel rubbed my back to sooth me.

“Ah don’t worry about him too much, you’ve got Charlie’s stamp of ‘Do-Not-Kill’ on yah so he won’t lay a hand on you!” He crossed one set of arms “even if you want him to.” Apparently still making no progress in his flirtations. “Plus, if it’s dreams you’re worried about, maybe you just wish his arms were around you in another way!” He joked and lightly elbowed me in the side. I rolled my eyes at him and smiled.

“Angel if you can’t pull him I’ve got zero luck, plus I am not interested like that. He’s just such a mystery I can't keep him out of my head.” I said, thinking on it I know shockingly few things about him for the amount that he seems to pop up and know things about me.

“Oh baby, the best dick is!” We both giggled and I felt a lot better. I asked him how his day was and he lit up. “Me and Husk got to have some quality time, if you know what I mean!” And he gave a cheesy smile. “We shared a drink is what I actually mean though. I think I’m breaking him down!” He beamed and then told me about how Husk had once been an overlord, until he was too far in the hole with gambling and ended up making a deal with our very own Alastor, confirming what I thought. Once I was caught up on the hotel tea I noticed my eyelids feeling heavy and the idea of getting some more sleep sounded better and better. Angel laughed and pulled the blanket over me and before his head hit the pillow I was out.

Part Three

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanfic #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x reader #alastor x oc #radio demon #slow burn #angel dust

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j2h5b5 · 8 months

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Testing the Limits

Summary: JJ Maybank’s little sister is doing some experimenting.

***

Oh. Oh shit.

That was Milly Maybank’s first thought upon waking.

And it wasn’t just because her head felt like a balloon filled with blood, stretched fit to burst and throbbing along with the beat of her heart.

Or because her mouth seemed to be filled with cotton, and tasted like something had rotted inside there.

Or because her stomach was roiling like the HMS Pogue in a high wind and she was pretty sure she was about to vomit all over these clean white sheets.

These clean white sheets on her hospital bed.

Yep, that’s why she woke up mentally cussing.

Because she didn’t have much memory of last night, but what flashed through her mind wasn’t good at all, and whatever had happened to land her here had to have been literally catastrophic. They couldn’t fucking afford a hospital.

There was a needle in her arm with a clear tube leading up to a bag on a pole like you see on TV, and a beeping monitor that was presumably alerting everyone in the room to the fact that she was alive?

Everyone. That would be … Without moving her head (both because to do so would risk popping the balloon that was keeping her liquefied brain in place and also because she was afraid to draw attention), Milly took mental stock. Pope, Kiara, Sarah, John B. And, of course, JJ.

Her brother was perched in a very uncomfortable-looking plastic chair at her bedside, his blond head resting on his arms, which were resting on the edge of the mattress. His eyes were closed and she bit her lip as a flashback of the night before fluttered vaguely at the back of her mind.

What did you take? Milly, answer me, what did you take?

JJ, she’s not hearing you, she needs a hospital.

I know, FUCK, I KNOW, let’s go. Move, just fucking move, I’ve got her. Come here, baby sister. Come on, Jay’s got you.

The world tilting on its axis as strong arms lifted her like she weighed nothing at all.

A bumpy ride, tires spinning gravel and mud, panicked fussing and bickering that made no sense, then bright lights, violent and harsh.

Then nothing.

Then this.

That was it for the details of the AFTER. From the BEFORE, she remembered more than she wanted to. The fight with her brother, hurling sharp words at all his soft spots. Blind anger making her cruel. Running off into the night. Running toward the very thing JJ was trying to keep her from in the first place. Triumphant at winning the battle.

She’d stayed gone for two days. Ignoring texts and calls from all of them and successfully staying off the radar until she got too brave and went to grab a late lunch at The Wreck. Sitting at a deck table off in the far corner with her back to the late-afternoon stragglers. She had almost finished wolfing down her burger when an open palm smacked the back of her head hard and a much-loved voice with an icy sharp edge commanded: “Hey brat. Call your damn brother.”

Looking up at Kie, Milly saw the older girl’s annoyance and responded with an admittedly childish “No.”

“He’s worried about you.”

“He’s a dick.”

“Yeah? He’s JJ. That’s not the point. You owe him better than this.”

And Milly knew she was right, which was why she doubled down. “I don’t want to talk to him yet. I’ll call him when I’m ready, and when he’s done treating me like a stupid kid.”

“Stop acting like one.”

Milly pushed her chair back and stood up from the table, making to leave. Kiara set down the tray she was carrying and reached for Milly. “Wait, wait. Where are you staying? At least tell me that. Are you being careful?”

Dodging Kie’s grasping hand, Milly shot her a look of honest apology—really, this whole thing had gotten out of hand but she didn’t know how to fix it now. “I’m fine. Tell him I’m fine.”

And she left fast, because Kiara was a good runner and Milly wasn’t positive she wouldn’t be chased all the way back to where her new friends were waiting.

And now.

When she finally tore her eyes away from the head of floppy blond hair next to her, she realized the others—all of them—were watching her.

Time to face the music.

***

TBC?

#outer banks fanfiction #outer banks #jj maybank #protective jj maybank #obx fic #john b routledge #kiara carrera #the pogues #jj obx #oc #bigbrotherjjmaybank #protective pogues #found family

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meiliarotten · 1 year

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Team Fortress 2 Kinktober Time

Day 29: Overcome (Edging)

🔞MINORS DNI🔞

Pairings: Spy x Male!Reader

Summary: Five thousand words of Spy just wrecking the reader.

Tags: Edging, dirty talk, degradation, lube, dom/sub, teasing, oral

Word Count: 5.1k

The Masterlist

You couldn’t quell the sense of apprehension that you felt as you approached Spy’s private quarters. You knew he probably wanted to go over the day's battle- which inevitably devolved into listing each and every misstep you had made. You would be lying if you said it wasn’t a bit discouraging, especially since this had become a near weekly routine.

Perhaps it would be easier if he wasn’t so damn attractive. Spy was a handsome man, even with the mask, you could tell. You wanted to impress him. Unfortunately your attempts to do so often led to the previously mentioned missteps. In your opinion, he could probably be qualified as a workplace hazard with how often he distracted you on the job. Then again, as a mercenary, workplace hazards were pretty much in the job description.

Today you were especially distracted, most likely because your little infatuation was getting worse. You had practically walked right into enemy fire. The fact that Spy had seen it all made you want to die, but then again, respawn would probably just bring you back to face your embarrassment head on.

Well, there was no point in stalling. With a resigned sigh, you entered the room. It was always more organized than you expected. It was definitely tidier than yours, and probably cleaner and more well furnished than any of the other mercenaries’ rooms. The scent of smoke was evident, but not suffocating. Spy was seated on the edge of his bed, and you startled a bit when his eyes met yours.

He wasn’t wearing his mask. You had seen glimpses of Spy without the balaclava before, but they were few and far between. More often than not it was with stolen glances in the showers, which you tried to keep as subtle as possible. You had certainly never had the chance to see him up close like this before. You shook your head, trying to regain some focus.

“You wanted to see me?” You asked, trying not to make it obvious that you were staring. He had the faintest bit of stubble on his face, and you couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to feel it, to simply brush your hand against his cheek. “Look, I know I was really off my game today. I promise I’ll do better next time-”

“That is not what I wanted to discuss, my dear.” Spy cut you off. You were actually thankful to be interrupted, as you knew you would just start rambling if you went on.

“It’s not?” You asked, tilting your head to the side curiously.

“Non, at least, not entirely,” he explained. “It is obvious that you’re quite distracted on the battlefield as of late. I know you have potential. You can improve, yet you make foolish mistakes and take unnecessary risks, and I think I know why.”

“Oh? And why is that?” You asked, feigning interest. It almost sounded as if he was about to give you some half-assed inspirational speech. You couldn’t suppress a smile at the thought of that, almost laughing at the idea of Spy of all people giving a pep talk.

“You have been trying to impress me.”

Your smile dropped as soon as it appeared. Oh. Oh fuck.

“Excuse me?” You tried to stay nonchalant. You must have heard him wrong. You couldn’t possibly be that easy to read, could you?

“You have been trying to impress me,” he repeated, just as clearly as the first time. “You’ve wanted my attention for some time now.”

Your mind was racing as you tried to find a way out of this. Maybe you could still play dumb? You tried to maintain a poker face- which may have worked if it weren’t for the fact that you had never won a poker game in your life.

“It’s not what you think-”

“And before you try to deny it, I’ll have you know that I keep a close eye on everyone in the base.” Spy said, cutting off what would have been a futile attempt at damage control. “I’ve seen you sneaking glances in the showers and the way your face glows red when you notice me watching you on the battlefield. It would be ineffective to lie to me.”

You clenched your jaw in defeat. He was right, and you were irritated that you hadn’t hidden it better. Then again, he was a spy. You should have known you would be figured out eventually. It was frustrating to be read like an open book. But the most frustrating thing by far was that even now, as he called you out like this, you still found him so damn hot.

You were also quite preoccupied with the imminent hard on you were trying not to think about. That was a concern for later, when you were by yourself.

“So what are you trying to say, Spy?” You asked, defeat evident in your voice. “What is this about? Did you just want to humiliate me?”

“I would never, chéri.” Spy looked offended, hurt even, at the idea that you would ask such a question. “What I’m trying to say is, I know what you want, and I am more than willing to give it to you. That is, if you are willing to listen and obey.”

The sense of vulnerability you had been feeling since you entered Spy’s room threatened to boil over. You felt seen. Spy knew that he could have you shuddering beneath his gaze and going weak at the sound of his voice if he tried hard enough. Even now, your head spun at the prospect of what you were being offered, breath quickening and inhaling an intoxicating blend of expensive cigarettes and cologne which permeated the air.

“What would you like me to do?” You asked, cautious, perhaps even a bit hesitant, but willing.

Spy paused, thinking for a moment, as if he hadn’t expected you to submit with such ease. The way he looked at you made you shiver. His eyes were narrowed and focused, like an animal stalking prey.

“I would like you to undress,” he said, finally breaking the silence. You breathed a shaky sigh. You knew that this would likely end with you naked, but you hadn’t expected it to be so immediate, nor did you expect to be commanded to strip in such a matter-of-fact way.

Steeling your nerves, you pulled off your shirt and pants, trying to look as alluring as possible as you did so. Based on the way Spy chuckled, you guessed that your efforts came off as more cute than handsome, but at least it was endearing anyway.

“All the way, darling,” he said when you were nearly done, motioning towards the briefs you had neglected to remove.

You hesitated, realizing for a moment how much power you had given Spy, and even though you could revoke that power at any moment, it still made you nervous. Perhaps that was part of the appeal. You put on a brave face, hooking your fingers into the waistband and dropping the final garment to the floor along with your other clothes.

The way Spy looked you up and down made you feel like some kind of exotic animal, paraded around for his viewing pleasure. It should have felt demeaning, but under his gaze all you felt was excitement. And of course, now that you were naked, there was no way for you to hide the physical evidence of that excitement, save for holding your hands strategically in front of yourself, which was exactly what you opted to do.

“Very nice. Now come here,” Spy finally spoke after what felt like an eternity of simply staring at you. In reality, it had probably lasted for only a few moments, but you were still happy to finally be proceeding. You approached Spy, and he stood for the first time since you entered his room. Still, he looked perfectly relaxed. It was the posture of someone who knew they were in control, who knew they were perfectly capable of drawing you in and bending you to their will.

You gasped softly when he took hold of your wrists, pulling your hands away from where they futilely tried to hide your arousal. You were fully hard at this point, and you hoped that the smirk that spread across Spy’s lips was a sign that he was impressed with what he saw. Silence fell over the two of you again, and again it felt like forever before he finally responded.

“You are quite a sight, mon ange,” he said, barely above a whisper. “I want to touch every inch of you.”

You let him do just that, shuddering as he ran his hands down your sides. The unmistakable texture of leather gloves traced the curvature and edges of your body. His gaze seemed to burn, intense and focused, as if he was looking through you, seeing your every layer, perceiving the deepest details of your being. It took every bit of will you had not to cover yourself again.

For a while you watched his hands to distract yourself from your nervousness. As they traveled over your flesh your eyes followed them. That worked until he brought one of those wandering hands to your chin, tilting your head upward so that you met his eyes. They were alight with lust and something you couldn’t quite place. You didn’t have time to ponder it though, as he leaned in and caught you in a kiss.

You wasted no time kissing back, but it was clumsy, especially compared to Spy’s more experienced movements. His tongue slid against your lips in a silent request for entrance that you gladly gave in to. He explored your mouth skillfully, gradually deepening the kiss. The two of you parted for breath in intervals of only a few seconds before setting upon each other again, rough, needy, and hungry for more.

You didn’t even notice that you were being carefully guided to the bed. Only when Spy pulled away fully did you realize that you were seated on the mattress, gently being pushed backwards.

“Lay back, darling. Relax,” Spy said, grinning as he climbed atop you. Before you could say a word he was pressing his lips against you, from your mouth to your neck and then lower still. You arched up against him, shivering at the feeling of the expensive fabric of his suit against your bare skin.

“Spy, please! Fuck me!” You begged, reaching up and pulling at the lapels in an attempt to get his attention.

“Not yet.” Spy calmly removed your hands, freeing himself from your grasp, which had managed to wrinkle his suit slightly.

He didn't seem to mind, as he immediately proceeded to make his way down your body, kissing over every inch of your skin. You shivered when his touch ghosted over your chest and stomach, growing impatient with the slow pace Spy was taking.

“What are you doing?” You asked, slightly annoyed, although most of that annoyance was smothered by the breathy sound of your voice which you just couldn’t keep steady. You didn’t get an answer, instead feeling the sensation of Spy’s hand gripping your cock without warning. A gasp tore from your throat and looked down, meeting his gaze. He simply glanced back up at you, eyes narrowed deviously.

“I want to taste you.” It was a simple enough statement, and Spy’s desire was evident in the lowering of his voice, an almost growl-like sound permeating his words. It made your breath quicken, and the sensation of his tongue lapping along the underside of your cock certainly didn’t help. You shuddered and tried to hold back any embarrassing sounds with little success. Of course, Spy commented on the strength of your reactions. “So sensitive…”

That was the last thing you heard him say before he took you completely into his mouth. You had to struggle not to immediately buck into that wet warmth. Luckily, Spy held a surprisingly strong grip on your hips to help keep you still. Brief moments of eye contact passed between the two of you as he watched your every response to his actions. You were sure he would be grinning if his mouth wasn’t otherwise occupied.

Seeing Spy perform such debaucherous acts while still dressed to the nines added a certain charm to the experience. Even his gloves were still on, and you felt the leather against your skin every time Spy squeezed your hips in warning, keeping you from thrusting into his mouth. The feeling of the material made you curse under your breath. You had always had a thing for gloves, and it figured that your little kink would rear its head mid-blow job with the man you had been not-so-subtly lusting after since the first day you joined this team.

Your train of thought was cut short as Spy’s tongue slid over the head, lapping at the precum beading there. He was surprisingly skilled with that mouth of his, better than you had expected, and you were already embarrassingly close to coming.

“Spy! Fuck, I’m close!” You moaned, just barely able to warn him before the point of no return. Spy stopped sucking, as you expected, but to your dismay, he didn’t proceed to stroke you to completion. It was especially unfortunate given that the thought of those gloves on such a sensitive area was something you very much wanted to make a reality.

Spy was kissing you again before you had the chance to complain. You gasped in surprise and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Your thoughts went foggy as you tasted yourself on his tongue. His hands started wandering again, eventually running over your chest, brushing against your nipples as they went. You pulled away with a moan, breaking the kiss and causing Spy to look down at you curiously. He ran a thumb over one of your nipples, placing focus on that area briefly before sliding his hand down your side again. This was met with a similar reaction, and a devious grin spread across Spy’s face.

“You like these, don’t you?” Spy asked, raising a gloved hand and flexing his fingers.

“Maybe…” you whispered, not willing to raise your voice any more than you absolutely had to. The way Spy was looking at you was wolf-like, and it made you feel small, like you were completely at his mercy.

“You like the feeling of my gloves against your skin.” This time it was spoken as a statement, clear and precise. “You like it when the leather brushes against you, when I caress you, when I stroke you like this .”

You jolted when you felt Spy’s hand wrap around your cock. The moan you let out was embarrassingly loud, and he hadn’t even moved yet. Spy stifled a laugh, albeit not very well. Of course, you didn't exactly have the time to be self-conscious once he began stroking you.

“Oh fuck,” you moaned as he settled into an agonizingly slow pace.

“That feels quite nice doesn’t it? The leather rubbing against your most sensitive areas, bringing you closer and closer to climax.” Spy’s breath tickled your ear as he leaned in to whisper to you. “Tell me when you’re about to come. I don’t want this to end just yet.”

Honestly, you were lucky you didn’t come right then and there. Somehow you held back, managing to save yourself from even more humiliation. You tried to get ahold of yourself, taking deep breaths and trying to focus on anything other than how good Spy was making you feel.

The leather added an extra element of friction that you found immensely gratifying. The gradual pace at which Spy stroked you kept you right on edge, seeming to extend the pleasure indefinitely. It was when he began to stroke his thumb over the head that you began to lose control.

“Spy!” You stammered, unable to choke out any further warning. Luckily, Spy seemed to get the message, recognizing how your voice shifted in tone and volume when you were about to finish. He ceased his movements, leaving you trembling, any sense of satisfaction having been delayed once again.

“Hands up, against the headboard,” Spy ordered. You obeyed, and before you could get a word out, he had removed his tie and used it to bind your wrists to the bed frame. You glared at him, rapidly losing your patience being teased.

“Oh, don’t pout, mon chéri. We can’t have you touching yourself, can we?” He said, dragging a finger along the underside of your cock.

“Please, get on with it!” You sounded ruder than you meant to, but Spy was pushing you to your limit. If your mind wasn’t so clouded with lust, you might have been a bit embarrassed at the fact that a little edging was all it took to make you come undone. Spy simply shook his head, looking at you the way one might look at a disobedient pet.

“So impatient. Have you still not learned who is in charge here?” Spy asked. You continued to glare at him, and he met your eyes with an equally intense look. “And such a willful expression. Perhaps I haven’t broken you enough. I could always keep you like this, darling.”

You tried to suppress a shudder as his fingers traced down your stomach, down to the base of your cock, before abruptly changing their course to stroke over your thighs. They remained there, so very close to where you longed to be touched. It left you quivering with need.

“I could repeat this pattern of teasing you to the brink for as long as I need too. I am a very patient man,” Spy continued. “And when I finally let you come, what makes you think I’ll stop there? I could keep going, stroking you, working you up again, watching you cry out from the overstimulation, reducing you to a sensitive, writhing little whore. I could have you screaming for me if I wanted to. So tell me, are we going to do this the hard way, or are you going to be a good boy for me?”

Spy’s words had you suddenly much more hesitant to misbehave.“I will,” you said, realizing that submitting was the only way to get what you wanted.

“You will what, mon cher?” Spy pressed on. Your face flushed, and through gritted teeth, you conceded.

“I’ll be a good boy.”

“There, that wasn’t so difficult, now was it?” Spy said, cupping one of your reddened cheeks. The embarrassment was almost worth it to see the way Spy smiled at you. “Now, just sit back and relax, my love.”

You did as you were told, leaning back on the pillows as best as you could with your hands still bound above your head. Spy stood up from the bed, only to begin stripping for you. He hit the perfect balance between teasing and nonchalant as he shucked off his jacket and pants. ‘Sitting back and relaxing’ became especially difficult when he decided to unbutton his dress shirt at a snail’s pace, but eventually that too fell to the floor along with the rest of his discarded clothing. Finally, in contrast to everything else, the briefs were removed relatively quickly.

Your breathing hastened as you drank in the sight of him. There was no shame in staring for as long as you wanted here, unlike in the showers, where you were limited to sneaking quick glances. He was gorgeous, and despite his slim build, he managed to make you feel small in comparison to him. This wasn’t helped by the fact that he immediately returned to the bed by climbing on top of you and taking his sweet time looming over your shivering, restrained body with a look of immense satisfaction.

“You look quite nice beneath me like this,” he said, smirking at how you squirmed for him. Spy had clearly received the reaction he was looking for from you. You were right where he wanted you, and you prayed that now that he had his fun, he would finally have mercy on you.

“Please…” you muttered, growing more impatient by the moment. You pulled against the tie, but it held up surprisingly well against your struggles.

”Je sais, you’re desperate to come, aren’t you?” Spy teased, cupping your cheek and pressing his lips against yours in a brief kiss. “Do you want me to take you here and now, my dear?”

“Yes yes yes, please! Please fuck me!” Any shame you had left was abandoned. You were positively aching to be fucked, and you threw all of your effort into begging for it without hesitation.

Your pleas were met with a low chuckle from Spy, who proceeded to roll off of you, ignoring the way you whined as he did so. For a brief moment, you thought he was going to leave you desperate once again, but you quickly fell silent as you watched him retrieve a bottle of lube from the drawer of his bedside table. It figured that he would have something like that handy at a moment’s notice. He returned to you, kneeling between your legs.

“Have you done this before?” He asked, his gaze softening as he looked you over.

“Not like this,” you admitted hesitantly, trying to suppress the nervousness that was beginning to build. “But I do want it, I want it so badly, Spy.”

“I don’t doubt that, but you will need to show just a little more patience,” Spy said with a small, genuine laugh, the sound of which helped to dissipate your anxiety. Still, you gasped when you felt his fingers begin to circle your entrance. “Soon, I’ll make you feel good. I’ll make you come, mon amour.”

He paused to apply some of the lube to his fingers, and you whimpered softly as he pushed a single digit into you. You tried to relax for him, focusing on how good it felt to finally have something within you. Spy hummed in approval, being able to thrust a second finger into you just a few minutes later.

You took to the sensation quite nicely. By the time he added a third, he was starting to curl his fingers within you. You moaned aloud, all apprehension gone as you begged him to fuck you already.

“You’re doing very well, darling,” Spy said, removing his fingers. You couldn’t help but squirm at the feeling of emptiness, even though you knew you would soon be getting exactly what you had been pleading for.

Spy poured some more lube into his palm and you watched eagerly as he stroked his cock with it. He leaned over you, meeting your eyes for a moment, silently asking for permission to proceed. You nodded, and his gaze became more intense as he entered you slowly.

Despite all the preparation, you instinctively tensed up. You knew it would feel good eventually, but in the moment it was more than a little awkward. Spy paused, allowing you to adjust at your own pace. The moment he saw any signs of discomfort he leaned down to kiss along your neck. His hands ran down your sides, feather light touches allowing you to relax into his surprisingly gentle touch.

“Mon dieu, you feel amazing,” Spy moaned, beginning to thrust into you shallowly and cautiously, giving you time to get used to the strange new feeling. You shuddered beneath him, hands clenched in tight fists against the headboard. However, you soon found yourself easing into the sensation, moaning freely as pleasure began to replace any discomfort.

“Such a noisy little thing, aren’t you?” Spy chuckled.

“I can’t help it, it feels so good,” you gasped, trying in vain to be quieter. Spy looked down at you with a devious smirk, clearly intent on making you moan even louder by the time he was done with you.

“We’ve barely begun, mon cher.” He leaned down to catch you in a kiss, going slowly and passionately in contrast to the rough and hungry kisses you had shared at the start of this little tryst. “I am going to go faster now, is that alright?”

“Yes, please! ”

“Perfect. Let me show you just how good I can make you feel.” Spy sped up, and you immediately found that you weren’t prepared for what he had to offer you. Of course, you enjoyed it all the same. Being fucked like this was so new, so overwhelming, and it made your head spin. Yet it was all so intoxicating at the same time, almost addictive.

As for Spy, he certainly wasn’t quiet either. He moaned as he thrust into you, clutching the bedsheets in tight fists, panting, groaning. He made no secret of just how good he was feeling. Even so, you were quite a bit louder. Right when you thought it couldn’t possibly get better, a change of angle had you reeling, mouth agape in a silent scream until you managed to regain the ability to make noise with a gasp and a full body shudder. Spy took note of your reaction immediately.

“Right there?” He asked, grinding against your prostate and seeming very pleased when he got an even stronger response from you. “Oh yes, that is a very good spot, isn’t it?”

You nodded, feeling as if you had gone completely boneless. Spy thrust into you again, this time stopping just short of your sweet spot. You squirmed and tried to buck your hips, but he held you still.

“Spy, I’m so close!” You cried, squirming futilely against his deceptively strong hold.

“Beg.”

It was a short yet clear command. You were so aroused it was almost painful, and you certainly weren’t about to risk another round of denial.

“Please, please fuck me!” You pleaded. “I need you to fuck me!”

“Is that the best you can do, mon amour?” Spy clearly wasn’t impressed with your efforts. You writhed and tried to thrust yourself onto his cock, but the hold on your hips was unyielding, and the tie around your wrists didn’t help your lack of mobility. That left you with no other choice but to throw away the last bit of dignity you had. Not that you had a problem with that.

“I need to come! I need you to let me, please Spy, please make me come!” You threw yourself wholeheartedly into begging. Most of your efforts became strangled groans, but the few coherent words you managed seemed to satisfy Spy. He had successfully made a pitiful, moaning mess of you, and more importantly, you had enjoyed every moment of it.

You heard him chuckle and begin to pull away, and for a bewildering moment, you thought you were being denied once again- and then he slammed back into you, much more roughly than you were expecting. Your mouth fell agape as Spy set a breakneck pace that you didn’t know he was capable of. You were vaguely aware of him whispering to you, praising you, muttering sweet nothings as you chased after the pleasure pooling low in your abdomen, threatening to overwhelm you at any moment.

Of course, you didn’t stand a chance the moment Spy located that especially sensitive spot within you once again. All it took was a few more well placed thrusts to have you coming undone on your own stomach and chest, your climax hitting you harder than you could have predicted. You jerked against the tie around your wrists, hips bucking upward as you practically screamed.

“Oui darling, that’s it, keep making those beautiful sounds for me!” Spy’s movements grew uneven, and his voice became strained as he chased his own orgasm, thrusting into you and sending sparks of overstimulation up your body until he went still and finished with a low groan.

With a heavy sigh, he fell to the side, and both of you were left panting like animals for several moments. You tugged against your restraints weakly, and with shaky hands, Spy reached up and untied you. You massaged your wrists and clenched your fists repeatedly to bring feeling back into them. The rush of blood back to your extremities left you with the sensation of pins and needles on your palms.

You laid on the bed for several moments, simply waiting until you caught your breath. Your heart was still racing. Unwittingly, you leaned your head against Spy’s shoulder. When he didn’t pull away, you elected to stay there.

“You did very well for your first time.” Spy brought a hand up to run through your hair. He didn’t sound nearly as out of breath as you were. You would have been a bit jealous of how composed he was compared to you, but the haze of euphoria hadn’t quite disappeared enough for you to feel anything more than mild annoyance. Plus, you couldn’t deny that the praise made your cheeks flush a little.

“That was really good,” you muttered, half to yourself, unsure of how to reply to Spy’s compliment. That bit of awkwardness was all it took for your mind to start racing. What happened now? Were you expected to leave? If not, then how long were you expected to stay?

Thankfully, before your train of thought could completely devolve, Spy answered several of those questions for you, by pulling you into his arms and tossing a blanket over the two of you. Apparently you were expected to stay for a while longer.

“Spy, the others will get suspicious if we’re missing for too long,” you warned, even though you weren’t really in a hurry to leave his embrace.

“Let them. I’m perfectly fine with letting everyone know that you’re mine. If they don’t already know, that is. You were quite loud,” he said with a smirk. You, on the other hand, went red and hid your face in your hands at the thought of anyone overhearing what had just occurred.

Spy chuckled, and you heard it as much as felt it, as you rested your head upon his chest. Even though he was teasing you, you found the soft vibration of his laughter comforting, closing your eyes with a soft smile.

You knew that eventually the two of you would have to get dressed and face the other mercenaries at dinner, but that was a problem for future you. Right now, you were content to stay beneath the covers, pressed against Spy’s body, basking in the afterglow. The only care you really had was how you would hide the telltale limp you would no doubt be walking with later.

#tf2 x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #merc x reader #minors dni #smut #tf2 smut #team fortress 2 #tf2 spy #spy tf2 #spy team fortress 2 #spy x reader #spy x you #male reader #masc reader #spy x male reader #tf2 fanfiction #cross posted on ao3

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weaselle · 6 months

Text

actually after adding this story to another post i got so mad i'm making it a separate post

when i was a kid in a musical production of Peter Pan I got a largish role which was awesome, but i was already self conscious about my voice and during rehearsals for one of the songs the director came up onto the stage squinting like he had a mouth full of lemon juice and stalked up and down in front of us until finally he zeroed in on me and had us all stop singing and then had just me alone sing a couple lines and nodded and said "yeah, you don't sing anymore, just mouth the words silently" and then told the kids on either side of me to sing a little louder to cover it...

and no amount of knowing logically that he was wrong for doing that has helped me overcome my fear of singing in front of people after that

and there have been some other times people (looking at you, mother) have said things to similar effect

the real hell of it is, i'm like... i have a lot of songs in me. i'm constantly writing original songs that i'm too afraid to sing for anyone

here are a few. they each have a specific melody.. I wish you could hear them

i don't feel like complainin' 'bout my life today and i ain't got a lot to brag about so i'm just usin' this music to keep movin' and i don't mind if i'm a part of your show so look at life all over and it can be rough if gettin' is your goal you won't get enough but i got me and i'm free an' warm spinnin' and grinnin' in the eye of the storm

i don't need to be winnin' while i'm gamin' and i don't feel like a losin' man no winnin' or losin' i guess that leaves playin' and i don't mind if i'm a part of your band

they say this race of rats is crazy it's dog eat dog they need a sheep to be a workhorse and go whole hog well i'm no genius most of the time but at least i can be nobody's fool but mine

at least i can be! nobody's fool but mine

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I don’t care … I don’t care if this minute is our last you can bet I’ll be living it before I let it past

(repeat)

Plan in command like a band with a marching tune, dooming our duo when you go embarking soon, damn I’m just glad that we had this hot interlude, hoping we’ll pause and not stop ‘cause I’m into you! checking the phone when alone for the text – that gives me this feeling I’m reeling I’m blessed – the sex is appealing for real but the rest of the sum of your parts makes my heart beat its chest

I don’t care … I don’t care if this minute is our last you can bet I’ll be loving it before I let it past

(repeat)

a decade ago we met lost and were friends christened our roads and then crossed them again we played and we dated like it ain’t a thing but lately our hook-up is more than a fling the two of us truly unduly effected - direction of goals that we hold gonna wreck it but check it I’m with it I’m livin’ it reckless to be where you’re breathin’ is leavin’ me breathless

I don’t care … I don’t care if this minute is our last you can bet I’ll be loving you before I let it past

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I went to bed lonely, found waking I’d only held dreams of you… In Dreamland I dwelt, but those feelings I felt still seem so true… I dreamt you still wanted me, that’s what’s still haunting me deep in my heart… though awake I believe in the many good reasons we’re keeping apart…

I cry diamonds! I weep songs of may never be I cry gemstones! each one a good memory each action taken, all of the fine bad and more I’d never trade them, these tears are my dragon’s hoard

I’m happy to see you, I knew that would be true our love never could end… I would swear an oath, this is best for us both and you’re still my good friend… but some nights my soul just doesn’t feel whole when I’m not by your side… so I add to and hold, all the jewels and the gold that I’ve already cried…

I cry diamonds! I weep songs of may never be I cry gemstones! each one a good memory each action taken, all of the fine bad and more I’d never trade them, these tears are my dragon’s hoard

So I’ll seek out adventure, eventually enter a time. when. I… leave this treasure heap, spread my wings and leap into the sky… I’ve dreams I believe in but please know that even when I. reach. them… I’ll visit these memories, loving and tenderly holding each gem..

I cry diamonds! I weep songs of may never be I cry gemstones! each one a good memory each action taken, all of the fine bad and more I’d never trade them…

these tears are my dragon’s hoard

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i wanna go off… i’ll go on the run- i wanna go big… go off like a gun they tell me come on just do as i’m told stop dreaming of hot find joy in this cold but i want the heat (oh yes) i want to feel warm! don’t want to repeat (this mess) don’t want to conform

still i pay my taxes i jump through the hoops it never relaxes: life lived in a loop

I want to go off… go off like a gun! a bright shooting star- as hot as the sun

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my best my best is what i give i never rest i never live but i don’t die i try to grip this liquid life inside my fist is this a test what must i learn if this is hell oh well i’ll burn and use my body as a meal is this what godly beings feel?

so come the worst i’ll curse and taaaake it if i don’t try this life is waaaaasted I’ll struggle puzzled cold and naaaaaaked and hold to hope that i will maaaake it and if i don’t then may my bones out in the garden over-grown be turned into some little home for those as lost and as alone

the stars all wheel over head it’s always heal or be dead i must i know let go of dread and trust my questing steps instead

the day will play and i will daaaance it i’ll set my bet down and i’ll chaaaaance it with danger hurtful flirt romaaaaaaantic make my own wish, insist i graaaaant it

my best my best is what i give i never rest but do i live still i don’t die i try to grip this liquid life inside my fist…

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i said i'm a tramp hobo and bum an' one mean son an' that's okay i said i'm a tramp i know but lovin' keeps on comin' my-y way

some times i'm just a drifter who's down on his luck but a smile from the Lady tips my own lips up!

down and out i ain't got nothin' but my laugh and my tough an' my-y name down and out my main skill bluffin' it's enough in thi-is game

my rhymes are just a whistle i'm hummin' along but with some help from the Lady i can sing this song!

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maybe i'll find a singer or some musicians to partner up with

#song #songs #song master list #poem #poetry #all songs are poems i guess

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bugbugdraws · 2 months

Text

Just finished the last chapter of HTP. What an incredible final chapter, so amazingly constructed! @aquaquadrant you're amazing amazing. I liveblogged my thoughts as i was reading which I thought you might enjoy <3

Okay I’m a bit late starting writing down my thoughts but I think live-blogging this will be my only way of surviving these chapters.

Tango getting put back in the farm… WHAT. THE. HECK. God damn my heart, it was just as brutal as expected but I was not prepared… Im in pain

“And we can’t have you living a lie anymore, can we?” I SEE YOU AQUA, the lyrics from the Atlas song. That just took me out of it. You sneakkyyyy

Tango’s regretting the plan now ahhhhh, they didn’t remove the collar :S

Im having to pause because MY HEART IS HRUUTNG

Sudden realisation jimmy’s gonna find Tango in the farm like that D:

Flashbacks to hours before when everyone is fine is FOUL, im getting whiplash

(No, surely he’s not gonna…) -me and you both watchers

GRIAN WATCHERING IN JIMMYS HEAD, that’s so fucking funny get wrecked jimmy

MUMBO FRICKING JUMBO, the joy I feel right now almost makes me forget the pain of the present timeline

Poor mumbo jumbo speed running hels lore

we’ll… need you to go get X.” - the big guns coming in hot. I didn’t comprehend we’d get more characters in this chapter and im over the moon to see them! You write every single one so so well Aqua

“Right, okay…” Mumbo hesitates, scratching the back of his head. “Um, who’s Timmy?” I CAN HEAR MUMBO SAYING THIS, Aqua you never miss

Grian calling jimmy Tim and having to correct himself is such a nice touch

“Even knowin’ what would happen, I’d choose you a million times over.” HNGNNNNNN ARGH I love these stupid block men so much

Bravo seeing Tango’s ‘touches’ to the house, aww man

(Intermission me going out for a meal and multiple bevs)

Im not mentally or emotionally prepared for the rest of this

I love how you write everyone interacting. Even though there’s so many people no one is left out

Bravo forgetting Joel’s name hahah mr j

Bravo calling Tango ’skippy’ amuses me greatly

Timmy looking out in the overworld AHHh my heart

‘There’s a fragile stillness to him. Like a glass bottle on the edge of a table.’ - How do you come up with this poetic shit aqua wtf

Oh no, we’re addressing the eating D: Poor Timmy my heart

Me googling ‘shovel talk meaning’

I have beef with the metaphorical ocean that is tangos subconcious

Tango’s memories <3 No words, just happiness

Pt 2

Omg Brian not coming on the mission to keep Clear company is quiet amusing

No one expects the surprise ravenger

IMPULSE FULL DEMON MODE LETS GOOOO

Jimmy and Bravo fighting together is so… I love it

Jimmy glad he didn’t make a tit of himself is so relatable. I feel ya bro

Omg they’re at the door, this is to intense for me

Oh god they found him

HEEY HONEY TANGO CMON

Atlas is Widowmaker I swear, man is unstoppable with a crossbow!!

Bravo and tango fighting together now toooo, Jimmy’s preoccupied bless him

Atlas screaming is the most satisfying thing ever, get wrecked ya bastard

Omg tango has more wither stains now ahhh, that’s so heartbreaking

Tango chewing Atlas out is GLORIOUS

THEY’RE ATTACKING HIS SCIENCE, HIT HIM WHERE IT HURTS

‘Shoddy science’?! It was my magnum fucking opus!” - mans going through it, honestly what a line

Then he punches Atlas in the face. - god I hope his glasses are okay

Bravo steps forward to deliberately crush Atlas’s shades under his shoe. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

They made it through the portal :’ ) Tango embraced his blaze, and got one up on atlas <3 mannnnn im happy

bX just put Atlas through his second vocal beatdown of the day, daaamn

TIMMY GOT HIS BATH, THAT’S ALL I WANTED

Bravo giving Timmy a kiss on the check… im softboy right now, man I want them to be happy, please come back to him bravo

OHHH BOY DBUBS AND PATHO SEGMENT LETS GO

…

I AM UNHAPPY WITH THIS SEGMENT

Okay I’ve been reading pretty intensely, it’s 2 in the morning, and suddenly STEVE??

HEROBRINE IS HELS ADMIN

I need to take a walk

Tango oh my god he’s gonna do it

He feels lighter oh my heart hug this man Jimmy

Im crying

Well, it’s 3 in the morning. Aqua you’re amazing <3

#hels to pay au #bugbugsays

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raspberryfingers · 2 years

Text

A Lion in the Garden -Tywin Lannister x Reader- (Part 19)

WARNING: Mentions of miscarriage

—————

My grandmother was arriving from Highgarden today, much to both Margaery’s and my happiness. It had been a long few months without her, especially when I’d been gone in Dorne and Margaery had been the only Tyrell—minus my father—in King's Landing.

I was waiting for her at the gates of the Red Keep, and watching her carriage come through the grand doors made me smile more than I had since winning at the tourney.

The horses stopped, and I instantly approached, watching my grandmother step down and look around with a sigh. She’d never been fond of Kings Landing.

“Hello, dear,” she said as I took her hand and kissed it.

“Grandmother. Welcome back,” I said, and she scoffed, linking our arms as we made our way toward the castle. Our slow pace was convenient, as my stitches had been taken out, but walking was a bit hard if I did it for too long. The maesters assured me that if I continued to take care, I’d be back to normal in about two weeks.

That naturally excited me, because though Tywin and I had continued to… well, enjoy each other, it would be nice to do so without cautious restraint.

“I’m not happy to be back. Dreadful city. Though, when I received that raven I knew I had to come,” she said, patting my hand gently as we went inside.

“I wouldn’t have sent for you under any other circumstance. Margaery loves me, but she needs you here right now, as I’ve been a bit too busy helping Tyrion Lannister manage finances and plotting with the Lord Hand on how to handle Stannis Baratheon should he somehow manage to defeat Robb Stark,” I explained, and my grandmother nodded.

“Yes I’m aware, you’re quite involved. Margaery needs someone who knows her experience, anyways, and as far as I’m concerned, you don’t,” She said, raising an eyebrow at me. I shook my head.

“No, I certainly don’t. It’s happened to you before?”

“It happens to plenty of us, dear. It’s never discussed, but it occurs far too often. It causes far too much pain,” my grandmother said, lamenting what had apparently also happened to her.

I felt my heart sink, and I had no clue what to say or do. All I could do was apologize.

“I’m sorry, grandmother.”

“It was all a long time ago. How has your sister been doing? Relatively, of course,” she asked quietly, not wanting anyone to hear us as we journeyed through all the damned stairs in the castle.

“Slowly but surely she seems to be improving. Though, she hasn’t been eating as much these days, and I believe she’s been spending less time with the king. Cersei made a passing comment about it the other day, asking if she was alright because Tommen had not seen much of her lately. I explained that she had been sick and was recovering, though Cersei clearly did not buy it,” I informed her, watching her nod and sigh.

“Margaery’s going to need to start going outside again if she doesn’t want people to whisper. We’ll keep her away from more tedious things of course, but she needs to maintain her relationship with her husband or else things are going to go very wrong,” my grandmother insisted, quite animated with her free hand.

“She’ll take it better from you.”

“Yes, I know.”

I looked around and sighed, a feeling of dread in my stomach. I felt so bad for Margaery that it often made me sick.

“Oh, I nearly forgot. You’re a bloody fool for going to Dorne with Jaime Lannister,” she said suddenly, though I realized it was most likely because I was struggling with the stairs.

“It was fun, grandmother, and both Myrcella and Tyrstane are safe. Plus, they’re to marry at the end of this week,” I said, watching her roll her eyes.

“Fun. You are utterly ridiculous, (Y/N). You love jumping into the wreck, don’t you?”

“It’s certainly my biggest flaw, grandmother.”

“The two children are quite eager, aren’t they? You’ve only been back for two weeks now,” she noticed, to which I nodded and laughed.

“Yes, they certainly are eager. They are both good people, though. Cersei gave me a genuine thank you when I brought her daughter home,” I said, making her laugh.

“That would've been a sight! She detests the whole pack of us, only the gods know why. Perhaps she doesn’t like the thought of her mother being replaced,” my grandmother guessed, laughing even more as she whispered the last bit to me.

“Oh please, grandmother, for the last time, I’m not-“

“Enough, (Y/N). Lord Tywin already told me the two of you kissed. I suspect you’ve done much more than that since then,” she scoffed, waving her hand at me in annoyance.

I remembered then, that Tywin had said she’d made him promise to marry me after bedding me. I thought perhaps she’d done it as part of her assumptions about us, not based on actual evidence. Though, I was not entirely surprised. Nor was I upset, somehow. If Tywin had truly wanted to keep it secret from everyone, he wouldn’t have told my grandmother a thing.

Perhaps he didn’t mind telling people because he thought… there might be something more to our relationship?

“We have not done more since then. And either way, I’m certainly not replacing Lady Joanna. Tywin has a special place in his heart for her,” I said, shaking my head.

“Try telling Cersei that.”

I sighed, knowing my grandmother was right. I hoped that someday Cersei would come to tolerate me, but I found the chances of that oddly slim. Then again, it seemed anything was possible now that I was in love with the man I’d hated for a lifetime.

—————

Olenna and Margaery were sitting together, and though Margaery felt bad for making her grandmother come to King's Landing, she knew it was what she needed.

“I know it’s hard, my dear, and I’m so sorry. You’re still young though, and it doesn’t mean you won’t be able to have children,” Olenna assured her, taking her granddaughter's hand from across the table. Margaery nodded and looked down, pressing her lips together.

“I just- I wonder if it was something I did. Or rather, something I didn’t do. I wonder if it was my fault,” She whispered, making her grandmother shake her head.

“No, my dear, it wasn’t any of that. Children die in the womb all the time, only the gods know why. I’ve gone through it too, and look where I am now. I have three wonderful grandchildren to make up for my disappointing son,” she said, making Margaery laugh for the first time since she had miscarried.

“What was it… what was it like, for you?” Margaery questioned, fidgeting with her hands.

“It wasn’t easy. I was a bit farther along than you, and your grandfather already knew I was pregnant. He was thankfully supportive, but it took me a long time to move on. You don’t have that luxury, my dear,” Olenna said, making Margaery look down once more and furrow her eyebrows with a distinct sadness.

“I don’t want Tommen to know. He’ll let it slip to Cersei and Tywin without even realizing the implications,” Margaery said softly, knowing that this was something she’d had to suffer through alone. A pain she would always have to keep a secret.

“Which means you’re going to have to resume public life much faster than you’d like to. You don’t have to be ambitious just yet, but perhaps you ought to stay with the king in his bed tonight, and walk with him in the gardens tomorrow,” Olenna suggested, knowing that if Margaery remained secluded for too long rumors would inevitably spread and her relationship with Tommen might be affected.

“What if he wants to… to…”

“Let him down gently. Tommen’s a sweet boy, if you tell him you just want to hold him, he’ll comply. He probably won’t think anything of it,” Olenna said, to which Margaery nodded.

“As for Cersei and Tywin, don’t worry yourself. So long as Tommen doesn’t know, Cersei won’t. Even if Tywin knew, he wouldn’t dare do anything, your sister would take his head,” she continued, to which Margaery smiled a bit.

“I feel bad for (Y/N). I’m worrying her, I know I am,” she said softly, making Olenna scoff and shake her head.

“Don’t even think about (Y/N), her feelings in this don’t matter. What matters now is you, my dear,” she assured her granddaughter, hand to her cheek. Margaery simply nodded, which Olenna took a sign to move on from the topic. The last thing she wanted to do was make the trauma and pain worse by discussing it too much.

“Now, tell me what I’ve missed, dear girl.”

“Kings Landing has been quite boring, I’m afraid. Besides a small uprising of religious fanatics, which were crushed quite promptly, nothing has caused any problems,” Margaery informed with a shrug. Olenna nodded.

“And what of your sister? Anything new?”

“Well, (Y/N) was the champion in the tourney, and she went to Dorne just before the wedding, though you already know both of those things,” Margaery said with a soft laugh.

“Believe me, when I learned of it, I was in the right mind to send down our best guards and retrieve her from King's Landing. Even more so when I heard that she’d accompanied Jaime Lannister to Dorne. Your sister is a complete idiot. It’s good to know I at least have one smart grandchild,” Olenna complained, a distinct aggravation in her voice. Meanwhile, Margaery found she could not stop laughing. She was extremely grateful you’d send for Olenna.

“I’m certain Tywin Lannister would’ve thanked you for doing it. I wish you’d been there, grandmother. He kept yelling for the match to stop while (Y/N) was fighting, and he was shaking. I would’ve sworn I saw a tear slide down his cheek when she was being choked. I’ve never seen a man look more terrified in my life,” she said softly, as if worried someone might hear what she was saying. Olenna nodded and sipped her wine, swallowing as she processed everything.

“Do you think he’s bedded her yet?”

“It’s hard to say, but if I could place my bets I would say yes. The day (Y/N) left for Dorne, Ser Elias came up to me and asked if I knew where she was, to which I responded ‘no, should I?’” She began, pausing for dramatic effect, “apparently she’d told him that she was spending the night in my chambers. I covered for her of course, but it was rather odd, and when I saw her later that day she looked unusually happy.”

Olenna merely nodded, and Margaery thought it was rather odd. She would’ve expected her grandmother to laugh. She did not know, of course, that a promise had been broken. Well, the Queen of Thorns would not let that stand.

—————

Tywin Lannister was making his way up the tower of the hand, returning from the King's chambers, where he had informed Tommen that he planned to lead 500 men to Winterfell to destroy Stannis. He expected to leave in a little over a week, though he knew you would not be happy with it and would most likely demand to come along. When he’d agreed to send 500 men, you expected he would send another to lead for him, such as Kevan. But, in all honesty, he missed battle just as much as you did. More than anything, he just wanted to leave King's Landing for a month or so.

Admittedly, he didn’t want to leave you. Dorne had been miserable for him, but he tried to rationalize how much he missed you by telling himself it was merely because he was worried about your safety.

While you’d been gone though, he had truthfully realized something else. It had been eating at him since you’d returned.

“Lord Hand, Lady Tyrell is here to see you.”

Tywin had reached his chambers, and was surprised when the guards said that. Had you really climbed all the stairs? He knew you were mostly healed, but it seemed a bit strenuous all the same.

Opening the door and going inside, he looked around and did not see you. Were you in his bedroom?

He ventured to find out, licking his lips somewhat anxiously at the thought of you waiting for him in bed.

However, as he pushed open the door, he found your grandmother sitting at the small table in his room. There was a distinct shock in his eyes, and it gave Olenna great satisfaction.

“Lord Tywin, how lovely to see you. I have a feeling the sentiment is not shared, though. You were expecting my granddaughter, I would guess,” she said, rising from her seat and clasping her hands together.

“I did not realize you arrived today, Lady Olenna,” he said sharply, standing straighter and making sure that the initial shock on his face was nowhere to be seen.

“Either way, the guards did tell you Lady Tyrell was waiting for you inside, and your first instinct was to come to the bedroom,” she noted, to which he scoffed and looked away from her. He would not tolerate this.

“And that is relevant, why?”

Olenna merely laughed, sitting back down and pouring herself some wine.

“You’ve broken your promise, Tywin,” she noted, looking over at him smugly. He raised an eyebrow, sitting down across from her.

“I have done no such thing.”

“Then would you care to explain why my granddaughter has dresses in your closet?” She interrogated, making Tywin suck in his cheeks for just a moment. He was backed into a corner now, was it better to admit it or continue to resist?

“I don’t blame you, Tywin. My granddaughter is quite beautiful, and I was aware that your restraint would tire eventually. I’d only like you to be honest with me so that I might be honest with you,” she said, watching Tywin pour himself some wine and take a rather large sip.

“I would like you to know that (Y/N) presented herself to me, and that I attempted to protest. I had every intention to maintain my promise,” he told her after a moment, watching as she began to laugh.

“Oh, she’s just like me, that girl. And, it’s quite a thing isn’t it? You attempted. Come now, Tywin, we both know that’s certainly not the same as maintaining it. You wanted my granddaughter, just as she wanted you.”

Tywin involuntarily fidgeted with the ring on his finger. The one you had given him.

“I’ll be honest, yes I did. And I don’t regret it,” he said sharply, trying to maintain his confidence before your grandmother.

“I’m glad, because now it’s time you actually uphold that promise. You recall just as well as I do what you vowed to do once you began to bed her,” Olenna remarked, watching the Old Lion look down into his lap.

“I need more time.”

“Perhaps you should’ve considered that before you decided to bed my granddaughter. I’m going to be frank with you, Tywin. My son intends to accept another marriage proposal for (Y/N) by the end of this week, and to have another one of her suitors end up dead will not look coincidental. If you have any intention of ever marrying my granddaughter, you ought to ask her now,” Olenna explained, watching fire ignite in Tywin’s eyes at the mention of another man marrying you.

“I still have time. Even if the proposal is accepted, I have until the wedding planning begins. Your son might be an idiot, but he’s not so stupid he won’t understand that marrying his daughter to me makes infinitely more sense than some boy from a liege house,” Tywin reasoned.

“Of course, but then it will create conflict. Whichever damn lord my son intends to give her to will naturally be upset that the engagement was called off, and perhaps even more upset at House Lannister. Should that liege house decide to try and do something to spite you, you would feel compelled to do what you’ve always done and destroy them. Now, when that happens, there’s a unique dilemma for House Tyrell. Not only would we be failing to protect a liege house, but we’d be marrying our eldest child to the person that committed the assault. You need to propose now, Tywin, that’s all there is to it,” Olenna said sharply, making sure that Tywin completely understood the repercussions of him deciding to wait. The lion would keep his promise or watch the woman he loved be married off, there was no debate or compromise.

Tywin sat there in silence, knowing your grandmother was right. It did have to be now, lest he hold his silence forever and be forced to see you married to some pathetic boy and swell with his children.

No.

It was time now, and Tywin knew it just as well as your grandmother did. And the truth of it was, he did want to marry you. He wanted to claim you as his wife and spend the rest of his years with you, even if they should be only a few. But there was an underlying fear in him, especially as he recalled what you’d said the night the two of you had laid together for the first time.

You weren’t ready to marry him either.

He doubted that in the last two months or so that had changed, and it made him beyond anxious.

“What are you thinking, Tywin? Men like you don’t usually stay quiet for very long,” Olenna said, interrupting his thoughts.

“I’ve already procured a ring for your granddaughter. I’ve been intending to give it to her since she returned from Dorne,” he replied after a moment, watching Olenna’s eyebrows raise with surprise. She certainly had not expected that of him.

“A ring?”

“She gave me this one as a testament of our good relationship. I’d like to give her one of her own as a testament to my devotion to her. As a testament of my- my love,” he explained while showing her the ring you had given him so long ago. Your grandmother smiled at him.

“How romantic of you, Tywin. I would not have expected it.”

“I am worried she won’t accept it,” he said, ignoring the previous comment made and pouring himself more wine.

“You’re worried she won’t accept your marriage proposal? Don’t be ridiculous, Lord Tywin,” she remarked with a scoff, believing the man to be exaggerating or unnecessarily nervous.

“Before she left for Dorne was the first time I took her into my bed. Before I did, I told her that you had requested that I did not bed her without requesting her hand shortly afterwards. In response, she said that she understood I was not ready to marry her, just as she was not ready to marry me. If her sentiments have changed in the last month or so, then I am unaware,” he explained, watching her nod.

“Let me ask you something then. Before that night, did you already want to marry her?”

“No. I felt our relationship was too young.”

“And since then your sentiments have changed?”

Tywin paused, nodding and looking away from Olenna’s satisfied smirk.

“Then naturally, Tywin, I don’t think it’s fair to assume that my granddaughter's sentiments are still what they were.”

“Even so, I don’t want to pressure her. She’s always expressed a desire to live her life the way she wants to, and I’m not going to take that from her.”

“She doesn’t have a choice, Tywin. It’s you or a liege lord. My son is clearly relentless, and I’ve already been trying to slow him down. She’s not getting any younger, and she does need to marry and have children,” Olenna said, despite wishing you didn’t need to. She’d enjoyed watching you grow into yourself, and had always dreaded the day you got married. Somehow, though, she felt you would thrive with Tywin Lannister for a husband.

“Even if she marries me, it’s important to consider that she-“

“She detests the idea of children, I’m aware. Perhaps it’s a good thing given that you’re so much older than she is,” she noted after a moment, leaving the bait out. Tywin had no clue it was a test.

“It’s not the idea of children that she detests, it’s losing her freedoms with it. She’s excellent with her younger siblings, and I have no doubt in my mind she would make an excellent mother. However, (Y/N) would kill herself if that’s all she was ever permitted to be,” he corrected, watching as a smile appeared on your grandmother's face. It reassured her, in a sense. It made her feel that perhaps Tywin truly did understand you, and it was not a lustful fling.

“And so, I will come to my next point. Something I have meant to speak with either you or your son about before asking (Y/N)’s hand in marriage. Something I am going to demand,” he began, standing up to assert a certain level of confidence and dominance in the conversation. Olenna remained unphased.

“You’re not in much of a position to make demands, Lord Tywin. Either you marry my granddaughter or somebody else will,” she said, raising both eyebrows at him to demonstrate just how genuine her statement was.

“Tell me, Lady Olenna, if your son found out I was not only willing, but actually quite eager to marry your granddaughter, what do you imagine he would say?” Tywin questioned, already knowing exactly what the response would be, of course.

“He would most likely jump up and down while clapping his hands together, the pathetic fool,” she mumbled, remembering just how excited Mace had been upon hearing Margaery would marry Joffrey.

“Precisely. Your son is more eager to marry (Y/N) to me than (Y/N) is to be married to me. Therefore, I am in the position to be making demands. Demands that he is not going to like, mind you, but demands that he will fulfill in order to marry his daughter to me,” Tywin asserted, making Olenna’s face twist with distinct annoyance. Gods, Tywin Lannister really was an insufferable cunt, wasn’t he? She had not a clue as to what you liked about him.

“You love and desire my granddaughter far too much to ever give her up, Tywin. Let’s not pretend that I’m a blasted fool.”

“Correct. I have every intention to take her as my wife, but your son doesn’t know that, and I would threaten to reject her should he not give in. Don’t look so annoyed, you’ll like this demand.”

“But my son won’t?”

“No.”

“Very well, what is it?”

“I will marry (Y/N) on one condition: she must remain head of the Tyrell army until she can no longer hold a sword. That is my demand,” Tywin said sharply, watching Olenna’s eyes widen.

“My son is not going to give into that demand easily.”

“Nevertheless, he will if he wants to see his eldest daughter married to the richest man in Westeros,” Tywin assured her, knowing the kind of man your father was. He would complain, and then he would do as he was bid.

“What if he does not? The one thing he’s quite unrelenting in is making Loras the new head once (Y/N) has been wed,” Olenna questioned, knowing just how strongly your father felt about the subject.

“He will.”

“Yes, you’re right. But hypothetically, what if he does not? Would you truly sacrifice marriage to my granddaughter over it?” She asked, genuinely curious now. Tywin did seem quite confident in the fact that Mace would accept his request.

“No, of course not. I would give (Y/N) anything on earth that she desires, and if she desires to be my wife, then she will be. It’s exactly why I am making this demand. She desires to fight, she desires to lead. So she will,” he said simply, knowing that any other man might’ve been blind to your misery as merely a wife and mother. But no, Tywin would not see you unhappy, even despite his concerns. He would rather watch the garden be overgrown than see it barren after he had cut everything back.

Olenna merely nodded at the man, rising from her chair with a distinct satisfaction. It was odd for Olenna to consider that Tywin Lannister, the coldest, most brutal man in all seven kingdoms seemed entirely enslaved to your wishes.

Just as he had been a good husband to Joanna, your grandmother was confident he would be good to you. Somehow, she got the strange feeling that deep down, Tywin Lannister was a romantic. She likened him to something such as ember, once soft and hardened after all these years.

Of course, he’d been rather harsh even as a boy, but it seemed those who managed to find a way into Tywin Lannister’s heart would have his utmost loyalty and devotion. So long as they did not do something that might remove that sentiment, anyways.

He was a small, sturdy fortress. Fiercely protecting the few that could fit within his walls, and easily repelling those that did not.

Yes, you would do well with Tywin Lannister for a husband, your grandmother had not a single doubt about it. And even more than that, you would be happy.

Olenna wanted to laugh at the thought. Two years ago, even she would not have been able to conjure up the thought of you marrying Tywin Lannister, for love especially. Yet, even now, at 28 years old, you continued to surprise your grandmother. She supposed you always would.

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#tywin lannister #tywin lannister x reader #game of thrones #game of thrones x reader #house lannister #charles dance #tywin x reader #asoiaf #tywin imagine #a lion in the garden

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trashforhockeyguys · 4 months

Text

Vienna Wait For You -9- William Nylander

Avalyn sat in the green room of the studio, leg bouncing up and down, sweat gathering at the nape of her neck. She’d never been this nervous, but that’s because she’d never had so much to lose before. She was getting ready to out her parents, and immediately following her lawyer, Mr. Jefferies was going to file the lawsuit. After today she’d be free for the first time in her life.

Jackson sat next to her, refusing to let her do this on her own. She was grateful for him in more ways than she could ever put into words. But all she could think about was the text she sent William earlier this morning, requesting that he tune in to her interview. It was the first time she’d asked him to watch an interview of hers. The first time she wanted him to hear what she had to say, because today would change everything.

“It’s almost time,” Jacks said from his spot next to her, “Are you ready?”

She was shaking where she sat. Feeling more like she’d vomit with every passing second. She wasn’t afraid of what her parents might do to her, but more afraid of what they would do to the people she loved. William included, because she did love him. God above, she loved William.

“No,” She admitted shakily, “But I have to do this.”

“It’s not too late to bail and just go upstate,” He reminded her, “They can find another way to fill the time slot.”

“No they can’t,” She shook her head, “This has to be now or it’ll never happen. They didn’t announce that I was doing this, so my parents have no idea, they’ll be blindsided, which is what we wanted, remember?” “I’m just saying, there’s more than one way to do this.”

“Not with them, there isn’t.”

She swallowed the thick lump in her throat when they came to retrieve her. This was going to happen, now there was no more putting it off. No more trying to find another option that wouldn’t potentially wreck her career. She would wreck it all, if only it meant she would finally be free.

“Today we’re joined by none other than Hollywood’s favorite young starlet, Avalyn Bradshaw Kreitzbrg.”

She took a deep breath before plastering on a nervous smile as she walked onto the stage, waving at the crowd a little as she did. She made her way to the seat left open for her, taking another deep breath as she sat down.

“Thank you for having me,” She said, voice still a little shaky.

“Now this comes as a shock to all of us, but you’re releasing a tell all memoir today,” the interviewer stated, “You managed to keep this under wraps for, as you said in your book, years. And I have to say, there’s some pretty shocking things in this.” They held up a shiny new copy of her book.

Avalyn nodded, not making eye contact with the book that would wreck everything, and yet put it all back together again, “Yes, it was incredibly important for me to be able to tell my story in a way that meant I still had privacy while doing it. And that meant keeping it a secret from everyone, so I could tell my truth.”

“Now, in this book, you say some incredibly harsh, and might I say, damning things about your parents. What does this mean for your relationship with them?”

Avalyn sat up a little straighter, “I’m hoping it means I can finally be free of them. For years I’ve been nothing more than a source of income for them, not their daughter. I’ve been treated with very little respect, and never any love by them. But that doesn’t make doing this any easier, because they’re still my parents. They gave me life, but that doesn’t mean I should let them control every aspect of it.”

“You write about being in a fake relationship with Jackson Portland, which comes as an absolute shock to most of the world,” They continue on, “Can you tell us more about that?”

“We’ve been best friends since we were little,” She shrugged, “But when my parents decided it would be best that we act like a couple, he and I went along with it because it was just easier. We’d be safe with one another, you know? We could protect each other from the world and anyone else seeking a relationship. It was the safest option for both of us to continue the ‘relationship’ as we got older. I only disclose it now with his permission, so we can go on being best friends, but not have to make out with each other every time there’s a camera on us.”

The interview continued on. They asked more questions about her parents and their treatment of her. Asked about Jackson some more, because he was always a hot topic. Off stage, you could see him smiling at you, beaming with pride at what you were accomplishing by doing this.

She continued on, spilling her secrets and her pain in front of the audience, and the thousands of people tuning in the second it was announced she would be on the show, very early this morning. She was risking it all, yet Avalyn was strangely happy about it.

“I want other people in my situation to know that they aren’t alone,” She said at the end, “I want them to know that there is an out, even if it seems like it’s impossible, and that there is freedom. You just have to be brave enough to take the first step towards it.”

“Thank you so much, Avalyn Bradshaw Krietzburg everyone!”

She let out a deep breath as she walked off the stage and into Jackson’s open arms. No matter what happened, he would be her family, him and his parents loved her as if she was their own.

“Let’s get in the car and head upstate, yeah?” Jacks said, kissing the top of her head.

“Sounds amazing,” She breathed out.

Because for the first time in years, she felt like she could truly breathe. Felt the massive weight lifted off of her shoulders, and a new life was going to begin. She had two weeks before she had to be back in Toronto, two weeks where she could lay low and just live.

So she and Jackson headed out of the studio, greeted by hoards of screaming people, and got into the town car before starting the drive upstate. Rose promised to meet them there, saying her family was dying to see both Avalyn and Jackson again. Truthfully, Avalyn was dying for some of the normalcy her family somehow managed to maintain on their little homestead.

Her phone started ringing half way there, William was calling. He was one of the few people to have her new number.

“Where are you right now?” He asked frantically.

“On my way to upstate New York.”

“I was really hoping you’d say on your way back to Toronto,” He sounded deflated, “How long will you be there?”

“A week, maybe more,” She replied.

There was silence for a moment. There was so much she wanted to say, and he had plenty to say himself. But he didn’t know how to articulate any of it. Avalyn didn’t know how to tell him that she loved him, and that they could give this a try now that her parents were out of the picture.

Avalyn could only imagine how furious they must be. Not only losing their best client, but knowing that their other clients would follow because of how they treated their own daughter. She suddenly became very glad she ditched her old phone this morning so they couldn’t call her and harass her.

“I wish I could see you,” He admitted softly.

“I have tickets to your next home game,” She told him happily, hoping he’ll see the admission for what it was.

A declaration of love.

“Oh you did?” He questioned, “Are you coming with Jackson?”

“Yes, but only as friends,” She replied quickly, “He is bringing a date.”

“So you’re really free then?”

“I am. Finally,” She smiled as she breathed out.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were doing this?” He questioned.

There were, in truth, a lot of reasons why she didn’t tell him. The biggest being that she was afraid that something would happen and the plan would fall through. And then she’d be worse off than she was then. But the plan went off without a hitch, and Mr. Jefferies called to say that he filed the lawsuit just after she left the studio.

“I’m sorry,” She sighed, “But I couldn’t tell anyone, just in case somehow word got back to my parents. God, they must hate the world right now.”

“They don’t matter anymore,” He replied, she can hear the hint of his smile, “You’re free.”

“I’m free,” She repeated, a smile spreading across her face.

“I wish I was with you,” He admits softly. So softly you almost don’t even hear him.

“I wish you were here too,” You reply almost dreamlike, “But I’ll be back in a week or so. Just enough time for some other scandal to take over and all of this will be water under the bridge.”

“I love you.”

Your heart soars with his admission, because you know he means it. You can feel it in your very bones, and know once you’re back together again, nothing is going to stop you from seeing him. You yearn for him.

“I love you too, Willy.”

You can practically see him smiling behind your closed eyes as he replies, “It’s so good to hear you say that.”

“It’s nice to finally feel like I can say it,” You admit to him, “I’ll be home soon.”

Because although Toronto wasn’t truly your home, it felt as if it was. The city had taken up residence in your heart, along with the rag tag group of boys and men that made up the hockey team. Your cast and crew had become your family in a way that you hadn’t expected. You were ready to go back to them, after everything blew over.

“I’ll be counting down the days.”

You blush, unable to stop it. You feel utterly undone by the blond on the other end of the phone. In utter shambles at the thought that you finally don’t have to hide away. Your relationship can be shouted from the rooftops of Toronto if you wanted. It’s everything you ever wanted for yourself. To be free and have someone that truly loves you.

“I’ll see you soon, Will.”

“Don’t do anything else crazy before I see you again,” He laughs.

She found herself wishing she could save that sound so that she could go back and listen to it whenever she was feeling down. Because nothing made her smile like he did. She ached to be near him, but knew she needed to be off the grid for a little while, just until things settled down.

“I promise. I’m just going to be hanging out on a friend’s farm for a little while.”

“Good. I have to go, but I love you Ava.”

“I love you too, Will.”

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