#I’ve been pissing myself laughing at this for 5 minutes

[absoluteocellibehavior]

I introduce you to one of my favorite crack headcannons: “Spain or Something”

[silentglassbreak]

Anonymous

Noah Sebastian x OFC

-

This story is flying out of me folks. Hope the few readers I have so far are enjoying! Again, if you want to be tagged, lemme know.

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, overall abuse, mild violence (ie. bar fights), smut, swearing, and altogether just a lot of fuckery.

+It goes without saying, this is a work of fiction. All of my words are my own. Plagiarism is a crime.

Part 4 - Never Know

The ride back to Calabasas was surprisingly more comfortable than I expected. Once it was just the two of us, Noah had become rather chatty, going on about the show, the crowd, the lighting that kept pissing him off, the meet and greet.

“It always amazes me how many people walk around with my face on their shirts.” He laughed to himself.

“Yeah, I’ve always found that kind of strange, wearing another human on your body.”

I felt his eyes burning a hole into the side of my head.

“That sounded very serial killer-ish?” His tone was apprehensive and playful.

“Who says that’s not what I meant?” I managed to hold my composure for about 30 seconds before bursting into a fit of laughter, him following right behind.

“Yeah, sure pipsqueak.”

My jaw dropped. “Excuse me! Not all of us are walking Elm trees, okay?!”

“Yeah, and not all of us are shorter than 5 feet!”

My hand batted over at him, his arms flailing in defense while he laughed at me.

“I am five-foot-one, mister!”

He held his stomach, his laughter roaring.

I set my head back on the headrest, my wheels inching forward at a snail’s pace. Normally, a drive to Calabasas from Hollywood would only take about 45 minutes, but a wreck on the 101 Freeway had us in gridlock. We had already been sitting, barely moving for about thirty minutes.

Normally, I wouldn’t mind. We had good music on the radio, it was a cool, crisp evening, and Noah was plenty good company. However, my bladder was going to betray me soon, and I could feel it.

I squirmed in my seat for a moment, trying to arrange my jeans to take some pressure off my bladder. I must have been obvious, because Noah spoke up.

“You okay?”

I stopped wiggling immediately. “Hm?” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Oh, yeah. Just getting restless.”

“You sure?”

I smiled earnestly. “Yeah.”

“Well I don’t know about you but I’ve got to pee like a motherfucker.”

I sighed loudly. “Oh my GOD me too!”

He laughed and turned the heat up in the car. I looked over at him inquisitively’

He put his hands up. “It helps. I don’t know why, but it helps.”

-

Thirty more minutes of traffic and we were finally driving winding roads through neighborhoods I had only dreamed of. I helped sell houses, but not houses like this. He finally directed me to a gated driveway, where he got out and held his wallet up to a small terminal. Slowly the gate creaked open, and he jumped back in the car.

“You want to come in and use the restroom?”

I bit my lip, staring up at the huge house before me. It was intimidating just to look at, let alone imagine myself inside of.

“Erm…” I nervously picked at my fingernail. “That’s okay, I can wait.”

He gave me a look that told me he wasn’t accepting that. “No you can’t, c’mon. No one will be home for a while.”

He hopped out before I could protest further. The call of nature was stronger than my will to fight, so I followed, hastily grabbing my purse and hitting the door locks.

I followed him up a pathway through a large grassy yard, through a door that I couldn’t even guess how tall it was.

When we walked in, I was surprised. It wasn’t how I pictured a rock band to live. He had mentioned him and the entire band lived there. I’m not entirely sure what I expected, piles of beer cans? Guitars everywhere? Random studio equipment? It felt silly now, thinking it back over.

It was normal. Sure, there were guitars hung over the mantle neatly, obviously not played much, with framed records hung between. But the couch looked so comfortable, a throw blanket draped over the back. The staircase wound through the living room, and beyond I imagined the kitchen was somewhere deeper into the home.

“Bathroom’s right there.” Noah pointed to a door just off the staircase. “I’m going to use the one in my room. I’m going to change real quick too. I’ll only be a sec.”

And with that, he was bounding up the staircase, two steps at a time. He really did have to pee.

I cautiously made my way over to the door he pointed out. Inside I found a half bathroom, only a toilet and sink. Black rugs lined the floor and bright red towels hung from the holders. I locked the door and quickly made my way to the toilet.

Washing my hands, I happened to glance at myself in the mirror. Holy fuck, I was a mess.

My eyeliner and mascara were smeared under my eyes, my jet black hair was frizzed, and I had something on my sweater. What the hell did I manage to spill on myself?! Nachos. The god damn nachos.

I quickly took my sweater off, exposing my plain black tank top underneath, tying it around my waist. I pulled my contact case from my purse and easily removed my lenses, before splashing water on my cheeks and rubbing dampened toilet paper under my eyes to rid the excess smudgy liner.

I slipped my glasses on quickly, cursing the metal frames for aging me at least ten years, and threw my hair up in a ponytail, smoothing it out as best as I could.

When I came out of the bathroom, I heard footsteps from the top of the staircase.

“Better?” I looked up at him, hands clutching around the strap of my cross-body bag.

“Much, thank you.”

Noah had a curious smile on his face that made me rebalance my weight in each foot. “What?”

He shook his head and made his way down the stairs. “Nice glasses.”

I instinctively turned my face away. When I looked back, he was next to me. His eyes caught mine in a trance, dark and looming. I couldn’t feel if I was breathing anymore, and I’m not entirely sure if I cared in that moment.

That ‘moment’ went on for longer than I would’ve liked before his eyebrows shot up.

“Sugar!”

This broke me from my daze, confusing me. I raised an eyebrow but too quick, he grabbed me by the wrist and started leading me to the kitchen past the staircase.

“We need sugar.” He let go of me at the counter, opening the freezer drawer of the fridge. He came out with a tub of vanilla ice cream, and loudly pulled two spoons out of the drawer next to me, dropping one in front of me.

Flipping the top off of the tub, he dug his spoon in and stuffed it into his mouth, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip. I tried not to stare at him.

“I think I’m okay.”

He shook his head at my argument.

“Nope. You said that as my sponsor, you’d eat ice cream with me if I needed it.” He pointed at the tub. “Eat.”

I raised my eyebrow and picked up the spoon, getting only a touch of ice cream on the end.

“I don’t remember saying exactly that.”

He shrugged, but I still put the sweet, cold spoon in my mouth. It did help.

We sat in silence for a moment, devouring the fresh tub of ice cream for a few minutes before he grabbed it and headed for a tall black table near the countertop. I followed.

We sat adjacent, tub in the center, and continued to gorge.

“So, am I going to get fat from all the sugar?”

This made me chuckle and shake my head. “You’ve got to counteract the carbs. Work out. That also helps because of the endorphins.”

“That sounds like a lot of work.” His tongue was cleaning the underside of the spoon, and I had evidently stopped mid-bite to ogle this, because he smirked at me.

“Sorry.” He sheepishly put the spoon down.

I blinked rapidly and coughed out a giggle. “No, no, I’m sorry.”

Standing up, I turned around and headed for the sink. Quickly rinsing water over my spoon, I set it in the metal basin with a loud clink.

I felt his arm come up beside me, setting his down as well. I hadn’t even heard him walk over.

He didn’t move away from my side, just standing directly behind me. I felt the warmth of his breath on the bare skin at the nape of my neck. His hand was still resting on the countertop to my right and I saw his knuckles turning white where they grasped the edge.

This was bad. I didn’t know what it was, but it was bad.

He did back away after a moment, breathing loudly. I took an extra second to compose myself before turning around.

When I did, there were those eyes again. Boring into me. However, after a second, he smiled, lifting his hand to my face. I was frozen, entirely unaware of what was happening.

His thumb reached up, and swiped across my bottom lip. Is he serious?

When he pulled his hand back, however, the creamy white liquid made me chuckle. I had ice cream on my lip. I reached up and wiped my mouth, while he laughed and just wiped his hand on the sweat pants he was wearing.

“I’m such a mess today.”

He shook his head in response. “I don’t think so.”

And suddenly, the air was thick. Thicker than water. Thicker than syrup. I couldn’t even breathe. His lips were so close. It wouldn’t take much, just a swift movement. A trip? A leer in the wrong direction?

His eyes were studying mine, back and forth. Mine were fixated on his mouth, pink from the cold. Puffy. Absolutely mouth watering.

My body began pulling back, when a hand grabbed me by the back of the neck, fast as lightning, and pulled me in.

His mouth was hot, despite our dessert. His tongue was searching through my mouth, my eyes rolling back behind my lids.

My instincts kicked in and my hands grabbed his shirt, pulling his body closer.

A low, guttural growl escaped his throat before his hand reached down and grabbed my ass, lifting me in the air. He pushed me back onto the countertop so we were at an even level.

I can’t say how long this went on, our mouths fighting each other, my hands gripping his hair. His hands were sliding up and down my thighs, fingertips touching my hips. My body was electric white hot need.

It had been so so long.

But at that moment, that stupid, idiotic fucking moment, my brain kicked in.

He has a girlfriend.

He has a girl-friend!

He has a girlfriend!

YOU’RE HIS FUCKING SPONSOR!

This brought me back, my hands forfeiting his hair, and pushing my body backwards. The back of my head bumped the cabinet behind me, but not hard enough to care.

His pupils were blown wide, making his irises appear to be entirely black.

“Leena…I…I’m so fucking sor-“ But before he could finish, I had hopped down from the counter.

“I have to go.” I padded to the front door, not looking back. I jumped in my truck and nearly peeled away from the driveway, only slowing down to allow the gate to open again.

What the fuck did I just do?

-

I forced myself to sleep that night, refusing to process what all had just happened.

I regretted it the next day, when I woke up with blackened eye crust and stiff from wearing my hair in a ponytail over night.

I had only the forethought to take my jeans and bra off. I cursed myself when I saw my reflection the following morning. It was horrendous.

My hair was askew, half ripped from the ponytail. My eyes were bloodshot, which is odd given I didn’t think I had cried. Maybe I cried on my way home? Who knows. I actively tried to block it all out.

This was unacceptable behavior from me. I’m the responsible one. The older one. The sober-senior, so to speak.

To only add insult to injury, I had forgotten to grab my energy drinks last night, so I was stuck making a good old fashioned cup of coffee with my barely used Keurig.

While I waited for it to brew, I grabbed my phone out of my purse, groaning when I saw it was on 24% battery. I didn’t even plug it in.

I did notice that I had several fresh texts. One from Laura, one from Abel, and one from Noah.

Naturally, I wanted to open Laura’s first, but my morals forced me to open Noah’s first. He might need his sponsor (which is all I am to him).

Noah: Leena, I can’t even begin to tell you how awful I feel. I’m so so so so so so so sorry. I completely understand if you don’t want to sponsor me anymore. Please just let me know you made it home safe.

Fuck that guy, and how god damn sweet he was. He shouldn’t be apologizing, I should. I should know better.

The text had come in at 11:46PM, right after I left. I sighed, typing a fast response.

Me: Please don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. I’m sorry. I can still sponsor you, maybe we just see each other in group only?

I added a smiley face to hopefully convey that I wasn’t actually angry at him.

His response came too fast for me to ignore.

Noah: I understand. See you Tuesday. I’ll call if I need you.

I felt like the message was almost cold, but I ignored it.

I didn’t even bother texting Laura before calling her.

“Hey babes! I’m so fucking tired this morning. I don’t know how I thought I was going to make it through work today. My back is kill-“

I had to cut her off. “He fucking kissed me.”

The other end went completely silent.

“What?!?!” Her shrill voice mimicked my own panic.

“Yup.”

“I fucking knew you liked him!”

I sneered. “Didn’t you hear me?! He kissed me!”

“Oh okay, so you pushed him off?”

I hesitated. I did, just after being an entire fucking moron for at least two minutes. “Y-Yes.”

My voice was such a God damn traitor.

“Oh no, Leena.” Her tone was serious now. I didn’t even have the balls to respond. “This is bad, babe. You can’t fall for your sponsee.”

“Fall for him?!” My turn to be shrill. “I don’t even know him!”

Poor Angel whined at me from down near my legs. I padded to the back door and let him out.

“Exactly! And see how drawn to him you are already! You need to stay away from him.”

“I’m his sponsor, Laura. I can’t exactly ditch the guy.”

She sighed. “No, but you can keep a distance.”

“Yeah. I told him we should only see each other in group.”

“What did he say?” I read her his response. She tsk’ed. “He’s butthurt.”

“He has a girlfriend.”

“Apparently one he can’t care about too much.”

I sighed. “It’s the alcohol withdrawal, dude. It makes you do stupid shit. Makes you crave…stuff.”

“Like hot little brunette girls?” I rolled my eyes.

“Oh my fucking god.”

She laughed then. “I’m fucking with you.”

“Please don’t. I’m fucking struggling here.” I groaned loudly. “I want a drink so bad.”

Her tone changed. “Babes?” I hung my head over the kitchen counter. “Maybe you should call your sponsor.”

My head snapped up. “You’re right. I’m going to.”

“Call me later if you want.”

I agreed and hung up. Scrolling through my phone, I called the one person I trusted more than myself.

The phone rang only a second before his voice rang out on the other end. “Hey! You okay?”

“Hey Daddy. No, I’m not.”

-

After a good two hour talk with my Dad, a scalding hot shower, and three pieces of cinnamon toast, I was curled up in bed, arm slung over Angel who thoroughly enjoyed our lazy days, watching The Conjuring. It was nearly 8PM, and I had no other plans. My day off tomorrow would be for laundry and cleaning. Maybe a run? Today was for sulking and healing.

Which I could do, if my phone didn’t start ringing.

Noah’s name flashed across the screen and I groaned before fixing my tone.

“Hello?”

“When does this stop being so fucking hard?” His voice was agitated, and much louder than I was used to. He was worked up, which was dangerous when you’re trying not to drink.

I sat up straight in bed, hitting pause on my remote.

“Noah, what happened?”

I heard him huffing on the other end of the phone. “No, answer that for me. Fucking, please!” He was yelling now.

I stiffened my voice. “Noah, please don’t yell at me.”

I heard him take three calculated breaths.

“I’m sorry. I’m just pissed off.”

I nodded, as if he could see. “It’s okay. Talk to me, what happened?”

“Lily and I got into a fight.”

“Lily?”

“My girlfriend.” I felt my confidence slip.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I tried to tell her I didn’t want to meet her for drinks. That I was still sick. She told me I had been acting so weird and told me I’ve been so off lately.”

I laid back on my pillows, letting him continue to vent.

“Which says a lot because the only difference is, I’ve been fucking SOBER! I’ve been working my ass off to get better, and she tells me I’m essentially boring. Like, I’m a vocalist for fuck’s sake! Alcohol murders my voice! I can’t sing for shit when I’ve been drinking! And I always end up fighting someone. Some rando at the bar, or Nick, or Jolly. It’s a miracle I haven’t been arrested!”

His rant was only getting stronger.

“I want to get healthy. I want to be better. And that’s me being off? She hasn’t even noticed I’ve been sober!”

He made a sound that was something of a growling, which made my stomach flip. I ignored it. But I could hear his breathing slow.

“Feel better?” My voice was small, unsure if he was quite done.

His voice snorted on the other end. “Yeah, I do, actually.”

I smiled, sad. “Good.”

The line was quiet for a few, just breathing from each end.

“Maybe it’s time to tell her, Noah? Maybe you should tell all of them. You’ll be surprised who may support you.” He shrugged.

“I don’t know how.”

“I get that, but you know them better than anyone else. You got this. I’m sure they love you, and will understand.” I’m not sure, but he needs the comfort right now.

“Thanks Mileena.” I had never heard him say my full name. “Sorry for calling.”

I laughed. “Never apologize for needing your sponsor.”

“My friend?”

This made me pause, but I did respond. “Of course.”

[corvusblackk]

just a few things happened in my shift but one of them is that i got together with remus, which is so amazing because i’ve been waiting for this since a lot and i was so insecure before this happened, i was so worried to ruin our friendship. i’ll tell you briefly how it went but i won’t go into much details as i’ve been realising some things and i’ll talk about it in another post.

so.

james, peter, sirius, remus and i were screwing around at night and we ended up in the forbidden forest because sirius dared james to go so we all went with him but then we got lost and couldn’t find each other. after just a few minutes i saw remus so we stuck together to find the others.

now, if you haven’t read my other posts, me and remus are best friends since childhood (just like the other marauders) but we have kissed and got “closer” moments together a few times, and i started realising that i actually liked him a lot. because of this, i always was worried of what he felt only because i didn’t want to ruin the friendship. like, some people like to kiss without feelings so i was afraid that would be the case for us too. he didn’t take the chance to talk about this and neither did i.

but since we were alone this time, which is not so easy since we’re always together all 5 of us, i took the chance and started talking about everything that related to what we did and what i thought, ending my speech by telling him that i liked him. he waited a bit as if he was thinking and then he said that he liked me too, which got me saying that i didn’t mean as a friend so he laughed and said something along the lines of “yea i know, but i like you, not only as a friend” (crying rn lol).

then we kissed and oh, it was all so beautiful (except i was kind of pissing myself because of the forest). but it felt really nice, everything. and all the things that came after that moment.

ps. this post will probably seem very dry and serious but i’m not doing really fine because of some reasons related to shifting but i want to focus on the nice things, such as what this post talks about :)

(art by the awesome likeafunerall!)

[tojiscrack]

Hiii bestie, how are u? Hope u're having a good day/night/evening🩷🩷. Praying that college isn't sucking the life out of you ( as it did me 🫠).

GIRLLLLL the way ur fic liar liar WHIPLASHED the motivation t read back into me, you wouldn't even believe. I've been having a reader's block for over a year now and I DEVOURED this fic in 3 days in the midst of college midterms. It is INSANELY GOOD like girl you should be HELLA PROUD OF UR WORK. I do not think I have ever laughed as much as I did reading it. The helicopter scene had me shaking. I nearly pissed myself when they were playing dodge ball. Thank you for ur service queen 🙏🙏 ( I really needed that 😭)

I just wanna ask you a couple of questions

1. How is the gang dealing with sukuna's return every month , like do they lock him up in a shed like a werewolf ( my poor boy is getting possessed in every universe 😂) ?

2. Are we getting a nanami × miss B 😏😏 ( feed into my delusions pls I wanna see him happy at least in one universe 💔😭)

3. I know u said u're gonna delve deeper into the relationship dynamic between toji and satoru, but just in case would u consider hinting to their first ever meeting, I'm curious to know what was it that happened between them that had toji like " yeah I hate this man's guts" , I'm guessing it's gojo's big mouth tbh 🙄

4. YOU HAD ME THERE FOR A HOT MINUTE WITH THE TSUMIKI AND KAMO PLOTLINE EVEN THO I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE KAMO×Y/N FROM THE MOMENT U INTRODUCED KAMO. well played

5. Can I DM ( is that the right word for Tumblr still relatively new) u , probably gonna reread it soooo I'll have plenty to say ( proceed with caution tho , I LOVE to yap and I'll probably bombard u with msgs if agreed )

6. Can I be on the tag list if there's one 🙏

Anwss, sorry this was a bit lengthy. Thank you for this masterpiece again pookie and hope u're doing okay 🩷🩷

HIII mlll 🤭💞 college is absolutely kicking me right up the bum rn, but i took today off to kinda reset and recharge ‘cause the christmas break is soon! (i’ll keep you in my prayers, i hate being a college student ☹️)

you’re telling me that my story, the one i spent hours planning and writing out for shits and giggles, the one i spend randomly doodling about, a piece of work i produced… managed to get you out of a THREE YEAR LONG READING SLUMP? 😭

I DON’T BELIEVE YOU?? ‘CAUSE NO WAY 😭💞💗💜💝💘

UGH, I’M GLAD TO BE OF SERVICE?? ILY?? PLS DON’T DISAPPEAR??

‘you should be HELLA PROUD OF YOUR WORK’ — trust me, if i had any doubts before, they are gone now that i’ve been informed of your three-year-long-reading-slump having disappeared ‘cause of my 150k+ word fic 😳💖

you’re so niceeee and sweet and i’m just overwhelmed rn 😭☹️💗

‘i just wanna ask you a couple questions’ — 🤭 now i’m super duper excited 😋

1. how is the gang dealing with sukuna’s return every month?

i’m gonna touch upon this in one of the filler chapters i have planned (i could be wrong but i believe that it’s the chapter after the next one). honestly, they’re kinda just winging it 💀 the main idea is to keep yuji/sukuna in his room, barricade the doors and windows, and keep anything sharp out of sight 😭

and every month it gets worse and worse, sukuna just gets stronger and stronger, and there have been multiple occasions he’s tried leaving the room to enter wider society. you can imagine what would probably happen if he did manage to escape 🌝

2. are we getting a nanami x miss b?

this isn’t even a spoiler atp, we are absolutely going to get a nanami x miss b endgame 😋 idrk how i’m gonna go about it, seeing as this story is in y/n / megumi’s pov’s, so it’s a little tricky there but… eh, we’ll see.

i saw this one thing on tt where it showed nanami looking at some painting, a man and his wife settling down together, and he is getting his happy ending in this verse (even if some of the other characters here do not) 🤨 and there seems to be only a small community of ppl who actually ship nanami and that baker lady from canon. it’s not a major factor to me, but i do just so happen to be one of them 👀

3. would you consider hinting at satoru and toji’s first ever meeting?

in a bonus scene, perhaps? if anyone’s that curious, but there is some lore behind it, so it probably wouldn’t be small enough to fit in one bonus scene. if you’d like, i could do a separate oneshot on it when i have some free time! 😗 i have some drafts on a lot of scenes (regarding characters in the story) outside of the story, so we’ll see!

you’re actually half right about the reason behind toji hating satoru. half, ‘cause toji’s also to blame 😀 you’ll see what i mean lolol

‘YOU HAD ME THERE WITH THE TSUMIKI AND KAMO PLOTLINE EVEN THO I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE KAMO x Y/N FROM THE MOMENT YOU INTRODUCED KAMO’ — pls the realisation for everyone was the funniest time for me, it reminds me EVERY time of why i love being a fanfic author 😋 you’re smart for figuring it out before tho! a lot of people didn’t!

4. can you dm me?

OMG OF COURSE??? WHY IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION, MY DMs ARE OPEN FOR EVERYONE, SPAM ME IF YOU MUST, I LOVE TALKING TO EVERYONE 😭

we can talk about anything, literally. it doesn’t have to be the fic! i like learning about who you are, what you enjoy, etc.

5. can you be added to the taglist?

absolutely! welcome to the liar, liar family 🤭💝

DO NOT APOLOGISE ABOUT YOUR MESSAGE BEING LENGTHY, I’VE BEEN INACTIVE FOR A WHILE AND I’VE BEEN OVERWHELMED WITH COLLEGE WORK, BUT THIS HAS REALLY MADE ME MOTIVATED TO CONTINUE WRITING AGAIN, SO TYSM 😭💖💖

[jodilin65]

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2001 I’ve been so busy that I haven’t written. Here’s a quick update as to what’s been going on.

His ma’s computer’s broken, so he brought it home to work on and Mary made me another CD.

Tom built a bigger cage for the pigs. Of course, I still don’t know how many I’ll be keeping. It’s a little hard to tell yet, but Tom said that if we’ve got two girls and two boys, he wants to make another cage like the one he made last night. Since they don’t sell bases, he went out and bought the biggest Tupperware container he could find. The extra bars wouldn’t fit into it, even though we bent them a bit. So instead, he cut the wire we were going to use to make mice cages to fit into the base. Because it’s barely a foot tall, we use the lid as a roof. This acts as sort of a burrow for them, yet when I take the lid off it’s a more open cage that lets you see the pigs better. I don’t want them to be able to burrow down too well because then they may end up being too timid when exposed. Anyway, the cage sits on the rats’ cage stand by where the rats are.

The reason I decided not to use the wire for the mice is that the mice really make a mess! They piss and shit all over the wires and it’d be a bitch to clean.

Still haven’t received my dental trays in the mail. Hopefully, I will today or else I’ll have to call them.

I’ve been scanning in my hand-written journals, but only the pages that stand out in some kind of special way. I’m capturing the different handwritings, different ink colors, different page designs, etc. After I scan all the pages I want to scan (some I only scan one or even no pages from) I gut them by tearing out all its pages for Tom to torch. I’m keeping the covers, though. This way I won’t have anything tangible. All my writing will not only be in electronic format, it’ll be decrypted, so that if it ever is stolen, it’ll be nothing but gibberish to whoever stole it. Fortunately, I have a great memory, so if everything were stolen right now and never recovered, I could rewrite my life’s story in a consolidated form. Something I’m going to do anyway.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 2001 Today’s brought me my permanent retainers and 3 little piglets!

I forced myself to stay up 18 hours yesterday, till 5:30 PM. Then just 6 hours later, I woke up at 10:00. I was so pissed and so sure I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep (my appointment wasn’t till 1:00). I did, though, and didn’t get up till 7:00. Shortly afterward I discovered the babies. I predicted there’d be 3 of them too, just by how big she was. Two of them are all black, and one has one white foot and one that’s got a band of brown and a band of white. It’s really cool-looking.

Our plan is to see if we can find another base just like the rats have and use the other set of bars to make a second big wire cage for them. I don’t know if I’ll keep all of them. I offered one to Mary, who just lost her dwarf hamster. I emailed her some pictures I took.

The dentist was compliment city, saying I looked pretty today, and why didn’t she notice my long curly eyelashes before? I told her I probably didn’t have them darkened in with mascara before. “No braids today?” she said, then she told me she began scratching her scalp rigorously and taking multi-vitamins like I suggested for speeding up the hair growth, and she said that already her hair feels “fuller.” I had to laugh at that one. Then she noticed my unusual eye color, saying they looked blue one minute and green the next.

Anyway, they put the retainers in and I’m already used to them. They never made me talk funny like the others did. It’ll be great not having to take these out and clean them. Regular retainers are a bitch. I love not having them stuck to the roof of my mouth and how they don’t show. No one would know I was wearing them.

They only go across the I-teeth. That’s all you need, I guess. The molars tend to stay put, but incisors shift easily.

Although she gave me the fluoride and whitening gels to take home, I didn’t get my trays today. That’s cuz the idiots broke them in transit, so they had to take a new set of impressions. She said she’ll get them in the mail to me tomorrow.

In other good news, we got a new burner, and in about a month when we get the satellite, I should be cranking out CDs! Who’d have ever thought years ago that you could just forget about going to record stores and just download whatever song you wanted online for free and make your own CDs?!

According to Tom, the people at Dan’s place are acting as I predicted, blasting music through open windows to let us know “they have arrived.” They exist. At least it was oldies. This was while I was asleep. He said it was loud enough to tell what song it was when the AC wasn’t running, but when it was, he couldn’t hear it. I’m sure I could’ve heard it well enough in the house had I been up. I expect they’ll probably do this most weekends till it gets really hot again. Our weather’s beginning to cool down, but it still gets pretty hot in the daytime.

Tom installed a cool word game on my computer. It’s kind of like Yahtzee. I beat him all the time, too.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 2001 I decided I’m finally ready, for once and for all, to shed this extra bulk. I’m 120 pounds. I’d like to be 100 pounds, but I’ll settle for 105 pounds. This is what I’ve decided to do about it this time around. I’m going to have a 1000-calorie diet until I hit 115, where it starts getting really hard. Then I’m going to cut it down to 800 calories till I hit 110, then I’m going to starve off another 5-10 pounds. If the 800-calorie thing works well enough, then maybe I won’t have to, but we’ll see once I hit 110. In order to maintain this, I’m going to have 1400 calories a day. At least I think I can maintain it at that. I may have to drop one or two hundred calories, though. Meanwhile, while I’m losing the weight, I’m going to jog for 20 minutes after each thing I eat and rotate every other day between upper and lower body workouts. Once in the maintain status, I’ll jog once a day for 20 minutes but will keep up with the upper/lower body workout rotations. Except for a chocolate malt after next Monday’s appointment, I won’t allow myself weekly treats till the weight’s off, but even then, I think I might go more with biweekly treats. Once my dentist and therapy appointments are done, I should only have to go out twice a month (going out tempts me to stop for treats) to report to Scot. That’s when I’ll get myself candy or ice cream.

Later…

I didn’t get any mail from Mary today. I wonder if she’s having another case of writer’s block.

Tom stopped at Mary’s, and just like she said she would, she had a music CD for me. A data one, though, not audio.

I’m down to 119 pounds and starving. I am soooo hungry!

I saw a movie based on a true story that made me hate pigs, lawyers, judges and everyone in the “system” even more. And I thought I couldn’t possibly hate them anymore than I already do! This case of people that got fucked over makes mine seem like a joke in comparison. This woman wanted custody of her two granddaughters. In order to get her way, she accused her granddaughter’s parents, as well as a couple they were best friends with, of child molestation. As are the ways of the system nowadays, the kids were immediately taken away and the two couples were thrown in jail. The kids were threatened and bribed into saying that the parents did these things when in fact they did not. The parents ended up in prison for a decade while the kids played musical foster homes. The kids were already grown by the time the adults were set free.

The public defender and the black pig have to have kids. God gives kids to people like that like he inflicts AIDS, pain and suffering upon gays. Wouldn’t it be nice to accuse them of child abuse or molestation and ruin their lives for a good decade or so?

But they all protect their own. It’s nearly impossible to bring down anyone within the system. They’d just laugh at the allegation and say, “You’re a cop or a lawyer. You’re incorruptible and invincible.”

Maybe I should’ve become a cop or gotten a job somewhere within the courts, so I could be protected by freeloaders like what we lived with for 3 years in Phoenix and nearly 2 in Maricopa, and from pigs like Mr. Biased, who were biased all right. Biased against whites.

If I suddenly wanted a kid all over again and could conceive at the snap of my fingers, I’d never bring a kid into this fucked up world. A classmate of the kid could tell its mother to accuse me of molesting the kid out of spite and I could lose the kid forever. It takes so little to lose so much and to have your whole life turned upside down, while it can take years and years to build a life in the first place.

Frosty’s turned out to be the coolest mouse. He’s the first mouse to ever take food right out of my hand.

There are 19 babies and more on the way. So far, most of the babies are white. A few have markings and a few are dark brown.

Tom said not to get my hopes up (I never do) but Monday he’s going to call about a computer programming job where you work from home, but I don’t see it. I don’t vibe it, I mean. Perhaps this is a good thing because I might feel smothered if he’s at home all the time. Then again, I could never feel as smothered as I did in jail!

Today I’m 118 pounds.

I’m not sure how much longer I’m going to keep up this letter writing to Paula. I never hear from her. I’ve only heard from her once since I got out of jail, and that’s not fair. I’m spending a fortune on stamps for someone who could be dead or in jail herself, for all I know.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2001 It’s Monday, Bear. You in M? I miss you! I love you! I lust you! I want you!

Meanwhile, my dentist appointment went quicker than I thought it would and I’m stuck with these damn retainers for another week. That’s cuz they do it differently now. All they did today was make impressions to which they’re going to mold the wires. Next Monday they’ll put the wires on and have my trays ready for me so I can do my fluoride and bleach treatments. See? I pitch one appointment only to make another! Anyway, she says I need to do the fluoride treatment for 15 minutes every night forever, and the bleaching treatment for an hour for 2-3 weeks, then if I want to touch them up periodically, I can.

I’m going to flip my schedule around and hope the freeloaders don’t wake me up by having Scot come out here. I think this week or next he will, though, but if I’m too tired to get out of bed, then tough shit!

I’ve been bouncing the mice around like Palma bounced me around. I put 4 of the 7 males in with the pig, then I decided to put them all in the wire cage while I was up to watch to see if any of the more scrawny ones squeezed their way out. So far no one has.

Mary called to find out about the appointment and to let me know she was burning more songs for me (in data format). I let her know she didn’t have to do that because I wouldn’t mind doing it or waiting till we get the satellite and burner to do so (we should have it in about a month), but she said she didn’t mind and that she wanted some of the songs for herself, too.

I’m current as far as typing Mary G’s stuff, but tomorrow, after he goes to the PO, I’m sure I’ll have a new batch of drafts. Hopefully her reaction and input on my Teddy Bear romance, too. I can’t wait to hear what she thinks.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2001 We caught the mouse and freed it. I caught it, actually, and he freed it when he went out to do the grocery shopping.

I decided to do something different with the other mice. I took the wire cage, and this time, I put mice I knew were too big to escape through its bars. The three brown men, as I call them, are occupying that cage now. Then, I took the smallest plastic cage and put two gray and white mice in it and put it on the den table. In my office, in a medium-sized plastic cage, I have a white mouse and a dark brown one. I just wish they didn’t stink so bad!

Another thing Scot asked me as he was going through my little list of “special conditions” was if my payments were up to date, meaning, as he put it, the $40 processing fee. Now just what the hell do they need to “process” every single fucking month that could possibly cost them that much? It’s total extortion money. That’s all it is.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2001 The rat is on the loose again, but he has yet to visit me in here. I think he’s down at the other end of the house.

As sick and as unfair as all this was/is, I’d be one bored puppy if it weren’t for those freeloaders. All I’d have to do is condense my journals and scan the signs in. But on top of that, I have a story to write/edit, a friend like Mary and her story to write/edit, and a Teddy Bear to look forward to.

I’m not sure yet if I’ll proofread Teddy Bear’s copy after I proofread/edit it to be the way I want it to be for me or wait till I see her. There’s still always that chance, as slim as it may be, that I never see her again. I’d hate to go through all the work for nothing. I’m not even going to bother getting other DO’s letters done up beforehand. I’ll wait till she verifies that Palma, for example, is still even working there before I type them up. If I don’t hear from her, then I’ll go ahead and launch letters to Palma, Pérez and Espi. On the other hand, although it wouldn’t matter with the letters, if I have Teddy Bear’s copy of the jail saga done around the time we meet, she won’t have to wait as long for it if I decide to give it to her sooner than planned, depending on how we get on together, what happens, and how eager she is to read it.

The question is – what crisis is God going to sic on me after this one fades away and my current list of projects starts to dwindle? Why must the shit hit the fan in order for me to have more adventures/experiences/tasks?

God, this GP stinks! Even so, I had to go get her. She’s been wailing for attention all night, so I locked the rat down and brought her out. She’s sitting on my lap now. Something rats, who are very animated and hyper, would never do.

After I’ve slept I gotta get down into the vent, pull up my disks and make a backup. I decided that the 1st and 15th of every month are when I’ll do this.

Tom said there was a bomb threat downtown and that a lot of people there were evacuated. Damn! When does it ever end? Not even all flights have taken off again yet.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2001 Another Apple Cheeks day, although this time I went to him. Since he came to the house so early in the month, I wouldn’t be surprised if he came again at the end of the month. Next week or the week after.

He made the comment about all the special conditions being done except for seeing Helen. “It’s hard to believe,” I said.

“I told you it wouldn’t be so bad,” he said.

No, he didn’t. At least he never said any such thing that I can remember of. Anyway, I guess that looking back, I’d say it wasn’t so bad. At first, though, I felt a bit overwhelmed. When you suddenly have 3 appointments a week and hundreds of bottles sitting in front of you after sitting in a jail cell for so long, it’s a shock to the system.

But in the end, I didn’t mind doing the bottles. Now all I have to do is pay a ludicrous $40 a month, report twice a month, piss about 6 more times for these people, and have Scot invade my home and maybe my sleep too, once or twice a month. I should have about 50 more times I have to report to him and about 24 more times that he’ll report to me. I doubt I’ll ever have to report less than twice a month. Not in this harsh, strict state. I think, though, he won’t bother coming to the house as much in the very end. In other words, I doubt he’ll come to the house in October of ’03, but you never know. I didn’t think they’d throw someone in jail for half a year for something they wrote, so anything’s possible.

Teddy Bear, that is Teddy Bear the GP, is feeling more and more comfortable with me, wanting to come out more often. She’s going to drop them babes any sec! By the end of the month at the latest. She not only goes off when I open the refrigerator but sometimes just walking into the room is enough to set her off. She goes off every time I open the rat’s door, too.

Tom used chicken wire to block his office door the way he blocked my office door and the bedroom door while I was away so that Little Buddy could run around a little longer and a little more freely. However, he got to be quite a handful, so I locked him down. He mainly concentrated on my office. Especially cuz it’s new territory to explore and cuz I was hanging out in there. Although it’s a rat’s instinct not to chew wires cuz they can sense the danger involved, there are still too many wires for comfort in here, and he’s a little too infatuated with the idea of chewing on Giselle’s stockings. I could move her, though.

Now that I did it, I’m proud of myself and I feel better, but I had to really talk myself into doing that workout. I was like – why bother? It doesn’t change my appearance. Working out is for those who are either immensely overweight and out of shape, or who are young, thin and not eating much. That way you could really see the muscle you built up, rather than just feel it.

I look forward to condensing my journals into an after-the-fact book, but I haven’t decided whether or not I’m going to do multiple little books or one big book. I may break it down by subjects. I could have the Estrella saga, the freeloader saga (although that’s kind of tied into the Estrella saga), the Springfield saga, the childhood saga, etc. I just wish the Teddy Bear saga would play out a little more. I’m just so curious to see where it goes, although I think I have a damn good idea as to where it’s headed. Either that or I have a damn good case of wishful thinking! But the Teddy Bear saga’s on pause right now, just like my home life was while I was in jail.

Another mouse has been spotted in the house and heard in the vents. Tom saw it before he went to work this morning shortly after I crashed. At 8:30 this morning I awoke to a sound that I immediately thought was a mouse in the vent due to the sound of tin foil crinkling. So, once again I have the trap set up. I haven’t heard or trapped it yet, which leads me to believe it may’ve gotten out of the house and out of the vents altogether.

Later…

I can’t stop shitting! That’s 5 times I’ve shit today. 5 fucking times! I’ve never shit this much in one day without something being seriously wrong with my stomach, and it’s usually all runny when I do. I used to be stuck all the time, but now I’m a regular little shitaholic!

Now for one of the freakiest events ever. This one’s just as freaky as the resurrected cockroach that I knew was dead when it came out of a community service bottle I had just picked up.

I decided to get rid of a rather dull mouse by flushing it down the toilet. I saw it go down the toilet. I know it went down the toilet. I flushed it a couple more times afterward, too. There’s no way it could’ve survived. I flushed one down a few weeks ago, and believe me, it didn’t come back. When I first approached the toilet a few hours later to do what I hoped was my final dump, I know the toilet was empty and that I’d have noticed if it weren’t. Anyway, I had been sitting on the toilet for a few minutes when I heard a plop. I was like – what the hell? Ain’t no shit falling from me yet! I stood up and sure enough, there was the mouse struggling to jump out. At that point, I decided it just wasn’t its time to go and I returned it to its home with its roommates.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 13, 2001 I miss my Teddy Bear sooooo much! How I wish I could know what the future really holds for us and I just wish she wasn’t so far into the future still! So many things could happen. She could find a girl she falls madly in love with and be living with her come next May. She could decide I’m too far away to bother with. Maybe I’ll see her occasionally. Or maybe we’ll get together every week or so and make wild, passionate love like I’ve never experienced before. Nah, there’d be some kind of problem with the sex. There always is. The only difference would be that I’d be attracted to this one like no others in the past. It’s not that Tom, Brenda, Kacey, or Ann Marie were ugly. There was just no sexual spark in the way that there is with Teddy Bear. You know when you’re attracted to someone just like you know when you’re in love with someone. Although Palma diverted my attention away from Teddy Bear for a while during the first couple of months I was in jail, I was always turned on by her and I knew it right away. I wonder if I’d be so self-conscious in bed with her, due to my lust for her, that I felt like a fumbling fool, not knowing what to do, unsure of myself, etc.

The only thing I’m sure of is that I’ll no doubt be more into her than she’ll be into me and that she won’t be urging me to leave Tom to go live with her. Again, I have no desire to leave Tom, but it’s really quite frustrating to have finally met a woman I’m attracted to that I really like and that likes me back, after getting married. Why couldn’t we have met before I got married? On the other hand, as easy as it is for me to say I’d be happy with her, would I really be? Would she accept me the way Tom has? Or would she push me to work and keep a schedule? I don’t know. I just can’t see her going for that breadwinner/homemaker thing.

I asked myself a question, just to be honest with myself, pertaining to whether or not I’d leave Tom for her, and this time I got a different answer than “no way.” This time the answer was “I don’t know” when I asked myself if I’d leave him for her if I could have everything I’ve got with Tom with her, who I’m more attracted to, plus a decent sex life, plus the ability to sleep together.

Hmm…

Well, I certainly can’t see it, but I know I have to keep in mind that anything’s possible in this world. Anything. I have to remember all the things that I thought were 100% impossible that were possible and remember that nothing’s guaranteed in life. I just hope and pray that given that one in a million chance I did leave Tom for her or for any other woman that it’d work out forever. I’d be really fucked with nothing and nobody if I were to leave Tom for someone that ended up leaving me. Then what would I do? Where would I go? We’d have to be even more compatible than Tom and I are overall, and that’s real damn compatible, and she’d have to be real damn convincing in order to get me to give up Tom and the security I’ve got now.

I don’t know. I just don’t know. Even though there is a sexual attraction beyond anyone I’ve ever been intimate with before, and even if we could hit it off even better than Tom and I ever did, could I do that to Tom? Could I just throw him away? That’d be awfully hard to imagine. I’d always be wondering whatever became of him and his life. I’d miss the guy something terrible, too! I don’t know if I’d feel all that guilty, though, simply because we can’t help what we feel. In other words, it’d be silly for me to waste my time feeling guilty over my attraction to her when I just can’t help it any more than I can help liking the color pink, chocolate, music, etc.

A part of me wishes she was just another celebrity that I had a crush on. That way I could get all kinds of pictures of her off the net, and I’d never have to be torn between her and Tom in any way because a relationship would be out of the question in the first place.

Later…

Apple Cheeks stopped by about 15 minutes ago. This was his quickest visit. He stood in the dining area the whole time too, while I was filling out the form. He said he got the form from Gina saying that I’d completed my community service and asked if Helen was the last of the “special conditions.”

He didn’t leave right away, either. He sat in his car for a few minutes after he left the house. I assume he was doing paperwork cuz from my viewpoint out the windows, he wasn’t lurking around the property.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2001 Yesterday was one of the most shocking, most horrific, most oh-my-God days in history. Never have I witnessed terrorism so intense as what I saw on TV yesterday. Tom’s never seen anything like it in his lifetime, either. He called me from work about it.

The World Trade Center (both twin towers) in New York City exists no more. They’re just gone. Demolished. History. Nothing but huge piles of rubble, debris and ash. It makes me wonder when terrorists will rain down bombs and bullets over every inch of American soil that it has to hit us directly, too. So many people were killed that I’d be surprised if I didn’t know of any of them, and as always, it’s those fucking Arabs that are responsible. Always the Middle East, always. They have nothing better to do than to pick on America and Israel. Some Palestinian group is responsible. First I heard it had to do with their sick and twisted religion, then I heard it had to do with unwanted American military troops over there.

And also as always, people will be foolish enough to turn to God, our very enemy. As far as I’m concerned, I’ll stay out of God’s house and he can stay out of mine. Better yet, he can let me stay in mine.

Anyway, here’s what happened. It was a series of events that began at 8:45 Eastern time that didn’t end till about an hour later. The terrorists, at least some of them, killed themselves at the same time they killed about 10,000 others. See? People really will spite themselves to spite others. The freeloaders gave up a free house just to get at me. I was that worth it to them.

About 3-5 terrorists hijacked 4 different planes. At 8:45, one plane plowed through the south tower of the World Trade Center. About 18 minutes later, another one careened through the north tower. The footage of the towers imploding and collapsing into themselves was mind-boggling. And seeing the many miles of smoke and soot from an aerial view was incredible, too.

About an hour after all this started, a plane plowed into the Pentagon in Washington DC, and this plane managed to get into class B airspace, which is supposedly pretty restricted. A plane went down in Pennsylvania and then there was a car bomb that went off in New York. Federal monuments and museums were shut down. They grounded all flights in every single airport throughout the country. They told every pilot that was in US airspace to land immediately or else they’d be shot down. All international flights were diverted to Canada. They even closed a branch of the bank (not where Tom works) that’s near Sky Harbor Airport in Phoenix. They called for a “delta” state of security, the highest level of security there is. The United Nations in New York and all tunnels and bridges were closed and the people of lower Manhattan were urged to head north. The Whitehouse was evacuated and the president was whisked out of Sarasota Florida and secretly flown to Shreveport Louisiana.

The guy they think is responsible trains pilots for suicide missions and shit like that. Tom’s not sure if it’s connected to him because he was in his own country waging another battle at the time. But he made threats on video just a few months ago. And no one did shit about it. This country was too busy throwing people like me in jail and protecting its welfare bums. These fucking Arabs are worse than some others. Others fuck over a few people here and a few people there throughout their lives, and yes, they’re vengeful, vindictive, vicious, hateful little scumbags that use the past and their color as a crutch and excuse to use and abuse others, but they’re girl scouts compared to Arabs. Arabs are a million times deadlier, and they kill by the hundreds and thousands. See, one doesn’t need to be taught racism to become a racist. No one told me as I was growing up to hate Arabs or others. They made me hate them all by themselves.

Tom’s not so sure the death toll’s as high as they say since a woman managed to get out of one of the towers from the 92nd floor. Well, the media does love to exaggerate. Whatever the death toll is, though, enough innocent people got killed for no reason at all. The only ones I have no pity for are the 200 or so pigs that got killed. With a number that high, there had to be plenty of power-hungry, corrupt, lying manipulating assholes that society can do without.

What we both don’t get is how people can hijack planes with nothing but knives. They had no guns. How could 3-5 people overpower nearly 100, and on some flights, nearly 200 people, with just knives??? And how did they get through the locked cockpit door? Were the pilots in on this, too? How did they hijack these planes in the first place what with how tight security is? How can people hijack 4 planes and simply knock down the Twin Towers as if they were a bunch of Legos? I just can’t believe that a group this large pulled this off without someone ratting them out and throwing off their plan! A lot of the people killed on the planes were from MA. God, imagine taking off from Boston, heading towards L.A., only to end up plowing through the trade center!

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2001 Although life is good overall, I’m sad. Sad because I miss my Teddy Bear. Still miss her even though I’ve been gone for over 4 months. At least the bright spot of it is that for every month I miss her, I’m one month closer to seeing her again. I can’t wait! God, I really fell for that woman. I’m in love and lust. It’s getting hard to believe it all happened. I have to remind myself that no, it wasn’t a dream. That yes, there really was a tall redheaded DO that I liked and that liked me back.

As for whether or not she’ll contact me before Christmas rather than wait the whole year, I don’t know. I’m completely vibeless at this point. I just know we’re in each other’s futures at some point. I’ll wait as long as I have to. She’s worth it.

Mary’s a reminder of the reality that existed from last October to April. Yes, I heard from her today. She says she doesn’t do drugs. She only did them once when she was 15 (I’m about to type that part up), but she does smoke cigarettes. She assured me she wouldn’t smoke around me, though. She says she rarely drinks but maybe champagne every now and then with her boyfriend. I kind of figured as much.

She says that although she wouldn’t mind going to Florida, she may do her time here because her 7-year-old son Murphy is in this state. I didn’t know she had a choice. Anyway, she also says her aunt’s in this state, but Todd’s not. She says Todd agreed to go wherever she goes.

She also sent me more story drafts. Her writing’s good, but erratic and not very detailed. I’m literally turning letters into a story. Meaning that she uses no caps, no punctuation, no paragraphs, no nothing.

Tom showed me how to make up address labels since my printer doesn’t want to do envelopes.

Tom also set up a computer in my office to play MP3s on my stereo, but I don’t know if I’m going to like this setup. For one, I hate having to keep turning the monitor off at night so I’m not rocking to the light glaring in my eyes, and it’s not as convenient for quickly fast-forwarding over sections of songs. I think I still might stick to burning CDs and getting a CD changer.

For the first time, we saw someone riding a bike down our street. A kid with a dog following him. I guess that’s a good sign. What’ll really determine whether or not we can sell this place for a hefty profit is the land in front diagonally of us. That’s not part of this subdivision. So if they were to put lots of houses there, that’d help us tremendously. It seems too good to be true, though, and something God wouldn’t allow us to do – make lots of money and live on a boat. On the other hand, I don’t see why we couldn’t do that when he retires if we can’t do it sooner. The question is, though – will we feel comfortable making our home in the middle of the ocean when we get older? Or would we prefer to have our feet on solid ground in some kind of retirement community?

Here’s the latest mouse arrangement, and believe me, it’s going to stay this way! Just when I thought I was a good breeder after all, after seeing that two of the ones I wanted pregnant did get pregnant, I noticed a big fuck-up I made. I noticed a couple of them, actually. I was casually looking into the ladies’ cages when I saw the pair of balls. So I plucked the pair of balls out and put it with the gentlemen. Then I noticed that one of the guys was getting fat. Particularly in the hips. So, when I picked her up and saw that she was quite pregnant, I said that’s it! You’re all living together. That way, it won’t only make my life easier, but then we can be surprised by what they create. As I told Tom, I think that once the count gets too high, I should pluck out the dull ones and that we should just kill them, rather than do anything complicated and time-consuming. People do kill animals all the time for various reasons. However, if we could sell them, that’d be great. That’s not very realistic, though. It’s obvious that while I may want to soar ahead and get with the times, God doesn’t want that for me. He’s determined to keep me a homemaker and nothing more.

I have a lot of projects going such as proofreading my story and typing Mary’s story. I still haven’t started proofing Teddy Bear’s copy, doing a condensed after-the-fact journal of my life, or scanning in signs. Mary’s story will probably take years, but proofing my story for me and for Teddy Bear won’t. Neither will sign scanning. So, when these are done is when I’ll probably tackle my autobiography. Actually, I may wait till this Teddy Bear thing plays out some more, so I can add that to it.

I asked Tom his opinion about what the future holds with Teddy Bear. He said he doesn’t think she’ll call without hearing from me first because, to her, I could’ve been just saying we’d get together. Now that I’m out of jail, she might think I might feel differently, but of course, I don’t. I miss her so bad and can’t wait to see her! The more time passes and the more I think about it, I think he could be right. I think she may wait to hear from me to see if I’m for real and still interested. The question is – will she still be interested? Or was she just talking? Will she have a girlfriend? Will friends or relatives try to talk her out of seeing me because I’m married and was an inmate? And just how far away does she live? She could live 20 minutes north of Phoenix in which case she’d be an hour and a half away.

You never know, though. She could still surprise me by calling me at the end of the year. I’ll just have to keep in mind that just because she may not do certain things, doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t care or have feelings for me. For example, just because I won’t leave Tom, doesn’t mean I don’t love her and wish I could be with her. Just because I won’t move back to the city to be closer to her, doesn’t mean I don’t care about her and want to see her more often.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 2001 I’ve had chronic knee pain that began shortly after I got home and I’m wondering just how long this is going to go on. I’m really beginning to wonder if it’s ever going to go away. It seems like just when it eases up on me a bit, it gets worse. I’ve tried ibuprofen, I’ve tried Tylenol; nothing works. Another question is, how could this have started as suddenly as it did and in both knees? Tom says it could be a type of arthritis. God, I hope not! If I’ve got that starting this bad this young, I hate to think of how I’ll be 20 years from now! Is it going to get to the point where I can’t even rock out? Can’t work my lower body when working out? It’s gotten to the point where they’re aching even when I’m sitting or lying down. Will this ever go away? Like I said, my life’s nothing but one problem after another.

They put the house together today. I don’t like how I can see the front and side of it, instead of the back and side of it. I feel like I have even less privacy. Especially since most people out west tend to hang out in front of their houses, rather than in back, but it’s OK. As soon as the oleanders are planted next year, they’ll grow fast and put a wall between us. If they’re going to blast music out open windows, though, it won’t matter which direction they’re facing.

The plan is to cash some stocks in January and use that money for an exterior fence. Then will plant stuff like oleanders which grow tall and fast about 30’ from the perimeter.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 2001 Today’s piss test was a breeze. That’s cuz he didn’t have anyone to watch me do it. He simply had me stand up to see if I was concealing anything, then I went into a bathroom by myself. Then when I was done, he did an instant test. It was really neat. Neither of us knew these things existed. They just started doing it to save money. He puts a few drops of urine on this thing that tests for cocaine, meth, pot, and a few other things. I assume it tests for alcohol, too. If there’s a line next to each one, it means you’re clean. If it looks questionable, he sends it to the lab to be fully tested. It could be a certain medication that trips the thing up.

My guess is that the next test will be after the New Year.

I’ve got 2 mice that are definitely pregnant, and one that might be, along with a most certainly pregnant GP.

I tried a really cool experiment yesterday with my 8 male mice. I put them in the tub and turned an upside-down bowl over the drain so they wouldn’t chew around it. In the tub, I put 2 wheels, plus the log they hide in. Then I ran a tube up to a small cage that sat on the wide ledge in the corner. That’s where their food and water were. I figured it’d make cleaning easier since all I’d have to do was just rinse the tub and wash the base of the small cage, but it stunk like hell in there. I figured I already had one room that reeked and that I didn’t need another.

The Biting Bitch, as we call the mouse that bit both of us, bit me again yesterday. Right on the forearm. I don’t know what it is with some of these rather violent mice! Guess I need to handle some of them more often when they’re babies.

Got a letter from my doctor letting me know everything was normal. Yeah, I’m just naturally fat with no metabolism and cursed with ridged nails.

Tom and I were discussing the fucked up laws again. He had a point when he mentioned convicted murderers that end up paroled, while conspirators like Charles Manson, who didn’t actually kill anyone, sit in jail forever. He’s been eligible for 20 years for parole but is denied cuz of his crazy behavior and wild beliefs. I think he should be either killed or put away for good in a funny farm. Crazies don’t belong in jail.

I don’t believe this, but Tom says Connecticut would’ve extradited me and charged me with the threatening letter/phone calls I sent Bill (and I admit to doing it, too) if it weren’t for my already being charged in this state for that. If that’s true, then God didn’t punish me by siccing the freeloaders on me; he saved my ass! If I had to be in jail, I’d certainly prefer to be in this state where Tom could visit than on the other side of the country. However, I don’t think that’s why I wasn’t charged. I think I wasn’t charged because I’m 3000 miles away, and because once again, Arizona’s one of the strictest states there is. Connecticut doesn’t jail people for words on paper and answering machines. If that were the case, I’d have been jailed for that back east a long time ago, numerous times. So, unless the laws have drastically changed and are the same as they are here, I was never at risk of charges/extradition in Connecticut. Besides, why would Connecticut not charge me simply because Arizona did? I asked Tom, and he said because that’s how it works. He says mass murderers never pay for all the people they kill. They just take one case that they know will stick and fry them on that.

That’s not the way I always understood it to work. I thought they paid for those they could prove were connected to that person. Anyway, if Tom’s right, and if the freeloaders really did save me from being dragged back east, then more power to them. They owed me that much for all the shit they’ve caused me.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2001 No one worked on the house yesterday or the day before. It doesn’t look like they’re going to work on it today, either.

Teddy Bear’s pregnant. We’ve had her for 43 days, which means the babies could be as far as 20 days away, depending on how soon she got pregnant before we bought her. One of my mice might be too, but I can’t say for sure on that one. Anyway, Tom and I are both psyched at the idea of having baby GPs!

I received 3 envelopes from Mary yesterday. One containing a letter, and two containing her story. It looks like she jumped to ‘92 when she was 15. That’s the year I came to Arizona. I was 26.

In the letter she confirmed my suspicions, telling me that although she’s never been with a woman, she’s had her fantasies and finds the female body to be beautiful. She’s happy with Todd, even though she says she hates guys in general. When she asked why I wanted to know, I told her I was just a very curious person. The kind some mistake for being nosy.

She was really dying for me to tell her who my woman is, so I told her it was a tall redhead. That should definitely tell her. Besides, I mentioned her knowing Spanish and German and how even she told me she’d swap German phrases with her. I know she’ll know who it is. Her reaction will be interesting to see.

I totally dread tomorrow. All I can do is hope I adapt to pissing in front of staring eyes, just like I adapted to peeing in jail with people in the same room. I do appreciate the warning, though.

I’m glad the community service is over, the mental health screening that they were supposed to do in jail is over and the counseling is almost over, but you know what? That’s still not good enough. We still have to dole out a much-needed $40 a month because of these freeloaders. I still have to report to Scot twice a month because of these freeloaders. I’m probably looking at at least 6 more piss tests, too. I appreciate the fact that he’s only coming to the house once a month instead of twice a month, but again, I don’t like it. He’s an unwanted visitor and it bugs me. It really bugs me. I don’t like how he walks throughout the house like he did the last time as if he owns it. I don’t like having to open my door to someone I didn’t invite. I don’t like my space being invaded! I hate having no freedom within my own home, having to watch every little thing I do in here so that it doesn’t come off as questionable. Yes, it’s better than jail, and yes, I’d rather pee once every few months under staring eyes, than have to go 90% of the time with someone else in the room and not have any privacy for shitting, but still – I’m forced to do things I don’t want to do and shouldn’t have to do because of the freeloaders who harassed me for years and who put stress on me day after day, month after month, year after year. The stress was often worse than the actual shit they’d dish out at me. When they weren’t doing something, just the stress of knowing it was just a matter of time before they would, was nearly unbearable. It really played on my stomach, my mind, my sleep – my life! And now I gotta pay for it with this shit?! Thanks, God. Thanks a million.

Yes, I see jail as an adventure, both good and bad, that was quite a learning experience, but it still never should’ve happened. If I was so meant to meet Mary and Teddy Bear, couldn’t God have found some other way for us to meet? Did he really need to go to such extremes?

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 2001 Right month, wrong year. The house I predicted arriving in back in September is here. Tom says he doesn’t think it’s positioned yet, and I hope he’s right, cuz I don’t like how it’s facing right at us. Although I still don’t have a bad vibe, I reminded Tom that we’re out of here if it’s subsidized freeloaders. Because they’re not just a few feet away, voices and barking wouldn’t be a problem, but musically speaking, they could be a huge problem as loud as today’s stereos are and with how many miles their sounds carry. Especially if they’re home all day with nothing better to do but sell or manufacture drugs. I’ll be damned if I’ll waste my time calling George only to get little, no, or part-time results just to end up in jail for complaining cuz they happened to have a piggy friend or cuz I’m white or both.

So that’s two new houses this year alone, and we know George is going to put one more in back of the 3 rentals that are side by side. I never thought I’d wish for this place to build up so we could rake in a profit, sell the land/house for a huge amount of money, then sail to sea. Somehow, though, I can’t see God allowing us to do that. The more I try to isolate myself, the more he seems determined to reach his mighty hand into my house, yank me out of it, and throw me in where all the people are! If I go left, God pushes me right. If I go up, God pushes me down – ugh!

Again, I don’t have a bad vibe, but my hearing has got to have improved for a reason. Not only are certain volumes now too loud for me to stand, unlike before, but according to my last hearing test, my hearing has improved. It’s improved! Hearing isn’t supposed to improve with age, and besides, someone who’s blasted their ears with loud music for 20 years should have a major hearing loss, but that’s not so in my case. Now, this may sound extremely paranoid, but isn’t it quite a coincidence that my hearing improves once I’m further away from people? What better way for God to have someone hear people who are further away from them than to improve their hearing?

Well, no matter what we get in there, all we can do is just live with it. I mean, we’ve got to hear them and the people at Dan’s place sooner or later simply because this is Arizona, and as soon as it cools down, I expect there’ll be something in the way of noise.

I know it can’t be my Teddy Bear coming to live in that house now that I know just how far from the jail we are.

It’s still so cool how they could haul in a house on the property adjacent to ours without our knowing about it till we accidentally happened to spot it like we did this morning when we went outside (Tom’s burning trash right now out there). There’d be no missing a show like that in Phoenix even with loud music playing on our stereo!

After being here this long, I must say that the people next to us can’t be freeloaders. I initially thought they were cuz they were darker and cuz no matter where I go, I always get stuck with the blacks or Mexicans next to me. I think they’re Italian, though, because they’re just too quiet and there’s not enough of them. Mexicans breed like rabbits.

Yesterday we went and dropped off bottles and did what should be our final bottle pick-up. Gina wasn’t there. She hasn’t been there due to a sick relative. Anyway, now that I know which bottles are bad, for the most part, I weeded those out of the boxes as best I could.

They sent us another great deal where you get 50% off any one item in the adult catalog, plus a free vibrator and video. I don’t care for the video, but I’ll take the two vibrators, which will only come to around $16 total with shipping and handling. They break easily, so it’s always good to have a few. Plus, I don’t like the two I got the last time. The first time I had one of the ones I’ve got, I loved it, but now it’s not too easy to get off by. The big, bulky ones just don’t cut it for me as well as those with small points do. I prefer something the same size as the tip of a tongue. It also makes it more realistic when imagining Teddy Bear going down on me till she does it for real!

Since Teddy Bear and I developed our mutual thing for each other, I haven’t had one fantasy concerning Palma.

I’m going to finish Mary’s first round of drafts. Although different than mine, I like her writing style. She’s taking bits and pieces of her life. She’ll take a clip from 81, then another from 82. A day in her life here and a day in her life there of a specific event.

Little could she know in ‘81 in New York, and little could I know in ‘81 in Massachusetts (and 5 months of that year in Vermont) that fate would have us cross paths 20 years later in an Arizona jail!

Later…

I questioned Tom about it, who saw them up close and personal, and asked if he was sure they were Mexicans next door, and they are. Mexicans next to me in Phoenix and next to me here? Yeah, I believe it. Had I known, though, up front, I’d never have bought this land. At least they’re not your typical Mexicans entirely. They live like filthy Mexicans with trash all over their land, but they work and they’re not loud.

Tom says the people at Dan’s are more likely to have people with loud car stereos visiting cuz of the way he sees them outside a lot and hears them talking loudly. Yeah, I’ve already established the fact that I’ll hear them this winter, but mostly by the household stereo blasting out their windows. The more outdoorsy people are, the more there’s a potential for noise.

Tom says that January would be a good time for the exterior fencing cuz he can cash in some stocks at that time. Also, he had the great idea of planting oleanders around the back and south side perimeters (where the Mexicans are) of the land cuz they grow fast and can act like a wall, giving us a little more privacy. It wouldn’t block much sound out, but it’d block out houses, enabling me to still see the big mountains in back, giving it a more isolated look and feel. Out of all the mountains we can see from the house, the closest ones are in back and the furthest are in front.

Tomorrow’s Labor Day, so I expect to hear some music then. We might be at Mary’s swimming and burning CDs, though, throughout some of it.

They worked on prepping the house Sunday but took yesterday off. They turned the house so that just like the others, its side faces us. The house is about 30 years old and identical to the others. I wish more new houses would come in! Not old pieces of crap that people rent. Right now I don’t have a bad vibe.

It was quiet yesterday, though we were gone from 11 AM-7 PM. We went swimming, had pizza and ice cream, and made a couple of CDs. We burned two audio ones for me and one data CD for him of all the songs we wanted from what was in their directory at the time. We also want the stuff I get on CD on the computer in digital format to hopefully replace a CD changer.

I left my list at their house so they can grab some more songs when they get the opportunity. They already had a few of the ones I wanted. I have to reburn a song that got cut off less than a minute into it. There are a few that skip at the beginning, but nothing major.

We’re hoping to get a new burner (and hope to not jinx it), then get a satellite connection so we can accumulate and burn songs ourselves. Right now, songs that take a minute to download on Mary’s computer take about an hour or more for us to download here.

We got a little help financially, for once, even if it wasn’t much. We got two bingo tickets. I’m almost always right when I say we’ll either win or lose, but when we win, I don’t know by how much. It’s usually 1-3 bucks. Well, my ticket won $3 and his won an astonishing $25!

I expect I’ll probably have mail from Mary today.

Later…

No mail from Mary today because Tom didn’t stop at the PO today. He’ll stop tomorrow.

I forgot to mention earlier that the freeloaders gave me back my tub. Yes, I did the last of the bottles today.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2001 September has officially begun the hunting season. I hear shots being fired as I write this. Shoot the freeloaders, will you?!

Mary’s finally begun her book! I was beginning to wonder if she’d ever get started on it. I was surprised that she sent 13 sheets of paper at once, though. Didn’t she know there’d be postage due on that? We owed 23¢, not that she isn’t worth the extra cost. Even so, so it doesn’t get to be a hassle for Tom (because he has to wait in line in order to pay and then get the mail), I advised her not to mail more than 10 sheets at once.

Her writing’s getting easier to read, even though she still doesn’t use caps, paragraphs or periods. I can figure out where those are appropriate. That’s part of my job.

I guess from what she tells me, she’ll be sending clips from various parts of her life, jumping around from time to time. I won’t worry, though, about the story’s layout till she’s given me everything she wants to include in the book.

She sent a 6-page letter and 19 pages of memories from when she was 4 years old in 1981 in New York. I can’t believe she can remember such detail at just 4 years old! I’ve only read/typed up the first couple of pages, though, so I can’t get into what it was about yet.

She asked me to change people’s names, but as I explained to her – what if I renamed one of her exes the same name as another ex? So I told her I’d keep a list of all the names as I came across them, making footnotes. Then, if she has a problem with any of the names along the way, she can tell me and I’ll change them again.

I’ll send her about 20 sheets at a time in small manila envelopes, as I type them up, the same way I’m going to send my book to her once she’s out of there.

She says she’ll look at it like her job. She’ll work on the book during the day, then write me, her boyfriend Todd, and her auntie at night.

In her letter she said, “I know your woman is Palma.” So the next clue I gave her was that she’s tall, at least 5” taller than Palma. If she still doesn’t get it, I’ll tell her that omitting Palma and Gibb, she’s already mentioned her name. If she still doesn’t get it, then I’ll tell her something that’ll be a dead giveaway, without it standing out on paper like a sore thumb. And she knows this about Teddy Bear, too. I’ll tell her that she speaks Spanish and German. The reason I know Mary knows this is because Mary knows a little German herself and she told me they’d exchange phrases here and there.

She says she’s getting along really well with her 3 cellies, Teresa did get page 2’d over a letter she wrote, Misha went home after going to GP, white Johnson’s still on 2nd shift, and Laticia’s a snitch, period.

She says she thinks she’ll be free in 04 or 05, but isn’t sure where she’ll be going from there. She’s sure, though, that she’ll be coming to see me. She even mentioned my visiting New York with her. No thanks, I told her!

She said there’s no Ad-Seg in Florida (this surprised me), but that she won’t need it there anyway.

Lastly, she was born on 10/15/77.

This morning I’m going to go with Tom to drop off and then pick up the final batch of bottles. Then - one less thing I gotta do for the freeloaders! We’re also going to pick up some maze and bingo tickets which I vibe a win. As Tom will admit, I have pretty good accuracy with vibing when we’ll win and when we won’t.

I tried this special shampoo that’s supposed to take the frizz out of coarse curly hair, but as I figured, it didn’t help. We just can’t change what we’re cursed with!

[artzee-bee]

Not going anywhere | Lucifer Morningstar x reader

Fandom: Lucifer

Request:” Hi i have request for you ,Lucifer and the reader have a big fight they are married, and this fight it's lucifer fault The reader leaves home and Lucifer decides to give her space After a few days, he goes to the reader and realizes that she has been missing for a few days,When the person behind all this claims that the reader is dead and gives them a her body . Everyone thinks that the reader is dead and Lucifer He gets depressed and thinks it's all his fault , and after a few days, the thieves release the singer and the reader goes to Lucifer.Lucifer first thinks it is an imagination and then apologizes to the reader Thank you so much”

Genre: Angst with happy ending

Warnings: kidnapping, death

~~~

Your intention had never been to start a fight. All you wanted an explanation (preferably one that also made sense) and an apology, but apparently that was too much to ask, because as soon as you voiced your opinion, Lucifer went up in flames

“Don’t start this again!”

“I dislike it just as much as you do but what I hate more is being cancelled on, AGAIN, through a text message no less!”

“It was an emergency!”

“It’s always an emergency Lucifer! It’s starting to sound a lot like work means more to you than I do!” “The detective needs me, damn it!” your husband yelled

“And she has you! Every day of every week! All I ask for is one date night and for the past month you’ve done nothing but avoid committing to one or backing out at the last second! I’m tired of being your second choice Lucifer! I’m your wife and you are my husband, I love you to the ends of the world, I just wish you'd say no to Decker from time to time...”

“I’m saving people’s lives Y/N. So if you’re not on your deathbed, other people are and they need me now!” as he said this, Lucifer walked right past you and into your bedroom, seemingly ignorant to the painful words he’d just said. You looked around the living room, vision blurry with tears, your chest heavy with anger and disgust. You rushed towards the elevator.

“When you find time in your busy schedule and feel like being my spouse again, let me know!” the elevator door closed before Lucifer could say anything

~~~

When Lucifer woke up the next morning to a cold and empty bed, he didn’t think much of it.Truthfully, he was still kind of pissed at the attitude you had given him a day before, so he got dressed as usual and went to the precinct, assuming you’ll be home by nightfall.

Except when he got home that night, he stopped by Lux first, which ended up like it always does: with him sucked into an endless cycle of booze and dancing, that lasted until well into the night. When he did enter the penthouse eventually, he found it empty. Exactly the way he had left it in the morning. Even the tie he had left on the floor, after deciding last minute that it didn’t go with his suit, was untouched. Now this was curious, but still, Lucifer felt like you must be playing hard to get. He sent you one text message, before going to bed

“Call me when you can!”

The day after that, he figured his part was done! By reaching out first, he had already made a big compromise, so now it was your turn! To reach out, come home! But that didn’t happen that day, or the day after that.

Three days after the text message,Lucifer was getting worried. He was looking at his phone every other minute. Always making sure he hadn’t accidently put it on silent or missed any texts. He sent more messages, telling you he was sorry and that he wanted you to come home. That he would listen and spend more time with you, promising luxurious dates and weekend trips, if only you forgave him. You didn’t even open the messages.

“Lucifer are you listening?” Decker was insanely annoyed at her partner’s lack of concentration

“Sorry detective. I’ve...I’ve got a lot on my mind”

“Well, better get it out of the way now, so that we can move on to our case!” she said, cleaning out her desk quickly, before resting back into her chair “Talk to me!”

“It’s Y/N. I’m worried about her!”

“Why?” “We...had a fight a couple days ago and she left. She hasn’t come back since”

“Have you heard from her at all?”

“No…” Lucifer said, embarrassed at his own lack of care for you. He should have called you earlier, reached out more! He should have tried harder!

“How long had she been missing for?”

“4...maybe 5 days…”

“Lucifer, are you sane? And you’re only telling me now?!” Chloe jumped from her seat, turning on her computer

“I thought she needed space! I thought she was avoiding me intentionally cause she was angry! I didn’t know…” Lucifer choked back a sob, not wanting to break down in tears in the middle of the precinct

“Lucifer!” Chloe caught hold of his hand “I’m gonna find her! I promise you!” A few days later, she did. Well, more like Y/n came to her, in the shape of a pretty little gift box left on Decker's doorstep.

“A lil too late on your case detective” read the note attached to it. 

Inside were Y/N’s clothes, all of them stained with dark, dried blood. Y/N was declared dead that day and the case was closed. At her funeral, only her closests friends were present. Lucifer wanted it to be as intimate as possible.

That day was also the first time anyone had seen Lucifer, since the news. His eyes were bloodshot and the dark circles under his eyes almost matched the black suit he was wearing. Throughout the ceremony he kept twisting his wedding band, a habit he’d picked up on since you went missing. He chose not to do a speech, but once the crowd disappeared, and he was left face to face with your grave, he pulled out a little piece of paper from his pocket and sat down on the grass.

“In hell, everyone feared me. There, I was nothing but another server of the universe, ruling over an empire I never really wanted, because I never had a choice. So eventually I left, thinking anywhere will be better than what I had, and I came to earth.

I ran into you about 2 weeks later, before I really even knew how to behave myself. Before I knew anything about who I really was besides ‘the devil’. I longed to know, grow and discovers different sides of me, where I could be something new, and you gave it to me. You made me who I never thought I could possibly be. You made me a lover. I never thought of myself as capable to love anyone, in any degree, but your light shone everywhere you went and your kindness touched me and everyone around you. It became impossible to not get infatuated with your person. I allowed you to see and feel around every dark corner of my soul and being and every time I thought it was the end. Everytime I would take in your touch as if it was the last, I would prepare myself for abandonment, but it never came. Through everything you stood by my side and when I felt my darkest, you gave me a fistful of your light and that was enough to keep me going. You married a broken man and called him perfect, despite everyone telling you how much of a foul you were. Even then, you shooed them away. Even then you chose me. I wasn’t worthy of your love or your trust and our last night together proved it.

You’re not here anymore to hear my apologies and I’ll never forgive myself for it. You’ve gone now somewhere I can not follow, but I know you are well taken care of there. I hope, someway, somehow, you’ll hear these words: I am sorry. I loved you with my entire soul. Not listening to you was the biggest mistake of my life and I’ll never forgive myself. I choose however, to remember you as you were, because I know that’s what you’d want. I’ll remember you and your laugh.I’ll remember our date nights and shopping sprees. Nights in Lux or on the penthouse balcony. I’ll remember all the meals you prepared for me and the flirtatious remarks you used to make, because you thought they were so silly. I’ll remember the little frown on your face whenever you worked on an important project for work and I’ll remember every evening walk around the block you’d make me accompany you on. I know I always complained about them, but they were always fun. Everything I ever did with you was always fun.

I loved you. I still do. You are my everything Y/N. Thank you for devoting yourself to me in all the ways that you did. I’ll forever live on in my heart.“

~~~

It had been months since your disappearance. After all this time, you finally managed to escape your kidnappers and report them to the New York police station, since that’s where you had been held hostage for so long. As soon as the paperwork was done and you were sure that the people who ruined you were getting the punishment they deserved, you jumped on a train and headed straight back home. Straight to Lucifer.

Lux looked exactly the same as you had left it. You were washed over by a wave of comfort that almost brought you to tears. Home. You never thought you’d get to step in here again. Overwhelmed, you took a seat on one of the couches, allowing your head to rest back on it, as you took in every detail of your surroundings: the feel of the leather on your fingertips, the cool breeze of the air conditioning, the warm lights. Everything was still here.

“Y/N?” you jumped at the sound

“Hi love…” your voice broke as you said those words. Words you never thought you would be able to mutter again. The sight of your husband, messy as he was, made you weak in the knees. He was standing at the top of the staircase, dressed in nothing but his robe, tied carelessly around his waist. He had probably just woken up. You wanted to say something again, but before you could, he laughed

“Nope” he said simply, before making his way down the stairs and to the bar “I’m not doing this. Not today, not ever!” Lucifer filled his glass to the top with bourbon, before turning around and trying to leave back to where he came from

“Lucifer, it's me!”

“Sure you are, except you’re not real! Nice of dad, taking my ability to stay endlessly sober, getting me drunk, forcing visions of my dead wife onto me to teach me another lesson about managing my emotions. Real clever, except this is too much! So I’m going to enter that elevator and I expect to never have to see you again, hum? Right, well, au revoir now!” he continued on his way, but before he could get far, you were clutching on the silk tie of his robe. Lucifer felt the tug around his waist and turned around slowly to look at you, this time a little more unsure. As if he was trying to figure you out

“Lucifer, I’m Y/N. I escaped”

“Escaped? But that’s impossible, she died! I saw it-”

“What you saw was a bloody shirt!” he looked up to meet your gaze, tears already forming “They lied to you Lucifer”

Finally, it seemed like he had connected all of the pieces of the puzzle. The glass of alcohol fell to the ground and your husband wrapped you in a big hug for the first time in months. He nuzzled his head in your hair and took in your scent, your figure, your warmth. Hell, you were even more perfect that he remembered! Silent tears fell down both of your cheeks as you collapsed to the ground, still holding onto each other for dear life

“I’m so sorry” Lucifer sobbed in your hair “I’m so so sorry”

“It wasn’t your fault Luci”

“If I hadn’t been a jerk you wouldn’t have left! If I would have simply listened to you, they wouldn’t have gotten to you! You would’ve stayed here, where you belong! You would have stayed with me but instead I was too busy with my stupid job and the stupid cases and I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry” he continued crying on your shoulder as you rubbed small circles on his back

“I’m here now my love” you whispered, kissing his cheek “And I’m not going anywhere”

[zunniva]

The Wallflower

“So have you made any friends yet?” I can hear the sarcasm on my sisters voice, she knows I don't really know how to make friends and she always needs to remind me about it at any given opportunity.

“I just got here you know, haven't been out and about much. Just work and trying to sort out the apartment ok?” I sigh in to the phone

“Yeah well we both know that when I call you in 2 weeks you'll be using that same excuse...or any of the other 30 ones you have in store. You're gonna be as alone there as you were back here” she snickers

My sister's always been mean to me about not having an easy time meeting new people. But it's gotten worse since I graduated high school 3 years ago. I was living with her, sharing an apartment before I came here, hated every minute of it. She is my opposite; cool, calm and collected amongst strangers. Has no problem talking, trusts people to be honest, she's outgoing and she's the pretty one... Mum always said “here's my lovely daughter Laura...and there's the other one” pointing at me

“Laura, it's been a week...” I say

“Well? So? I mean I'd been at college for 2 days when I got invited to my first party, 3 days I got a date... A week is like a life time. You have what, 1 friend and you've known her since you were 5... I think it's time to talk to people, or you'll be sad and alone forever. Fucking eternal wallflower” she's annoyed I can't see the joy in meeting new people “and you need to get a date soon or you'll dry up like a prune, I mean seriously I lost my virginity in senior year, that was kinda late...and you're 2 years older than me. Like...you should have been first. You're not ugly...per say. I mean that 'don't look at me' thing you have going isn't attractive but I mean you have pretty...eyes.”

“Thank you... Well, my life my choices Laura. Like always” I sigh, I'm so sick an tired of her dictating what “I NEED” to do according to her. Like the virginity thing, yeah she lost it her senior year... That was 2 years after I graduated, and I mean I could tell her that so did I, lose it in my senior year...only, she lost it by choice to someone who liked her, I did not. I was a joke to someone at one of the only parties my sister ever got me to come along to. I was the designated driver that night for my sister and her friends. This guy I'd liked for years started flirting with me, and starved for attention as I was I fell for it. He fucked me rough from behind so he wouldn't have to look at me. He wasn't kind, he wouldn't kiss me or even touch me, I wasn't pretty enough for that. He told me when I tried to touch him, told me to keep my fat ugly hands to myself all he wanted was my pussy. After he laughed at me and told me I was just a bet. His friends bet him he couldn't get the loser wallflower to drop her panties for him, and “lucky” for him I was a real easy fuck so now he won the bet. This then led to him making the time we had left in school a living hell, spreading a rumour in our class that I practically begged him to fuck me so I wouldn't graduate a virgin. This along with everything else I had to live through made me even more of a loner. And now I have to listen to my sister telling me I need to get laid so I don't dry up, I'd rather actually. I've been in therapy for the last 2 years about it so, I mean not saying I'm ok with it, but the feelings following that night have subsided somewhat. I will never ever forgive him but hopefully someone, some day might be able to help me heal some of the damage done. Doubtful though seeing as I shy away from everyone instinctively.

“Yeah your choices SUCK Kat... How on earth could you think that moving to fucking nowhere in Indiana would make any difference? You don't even have your freaky friend around. What you're gonna hang out with one of your old teachers forever? That's fucking SAD!” Laura is getting pissed now that she hasn't managed to spark a response from me. It's easier to zone her out over the phone I've noticed.

“You do realize I'm closer to Casey now than I was at home? She literally lives in Indianapolis... Like a 1 hour car ride away. And what's wrong with Stella then? She's like 15 years older than me, not as ancient as you make her sound. I mean seriously Laura, if you can't be civil...just don't call me any more. I'll see you for Christmas and mum's birthday that'll be plenty” I say

“FINE!” and she slams the phone down in my ear, I actually let out a sigh of relief. She's going to call in 2 weeks again. I'm sure of it, she can't not be a a pain in my ass, and she's the nosiest person I know. She NEEDS to ask me about my life, she fucking craves it. It's not that I hate her...but sometimes, MAN do I hate her!

So backstory to how I ended up here in Hawkins, Indiana.

I grew up in Seattle, when I was 5 my mum and dad split up and she moved to a new apartment in another part of town. Me and Laura moved with mum, and I started school with all new kids. This is when I met Casey. The only friend I've ever had. I wasn't as shy and withdrawn until I was about 12. That's when the bullying started to become so bad I kinda evolved into a wallflower to avoid being noticed at all. Casey was always there trying to protect me but she was a bit odd herself so it usually ended up with us against the world. She on the other hand were raised by a single dad and have 3 older brothers who taught her to fight so the older she got the less anyone messed with her. I was shy, had glasses, was chubby and puberty hit early making me the only girl in class with boobs instantly making me “the slut” among the girls in my class. Because apparently, as everyone knows... If you have boobs you're doing it with the guys. Middle school was awful except for Ms Johnsons class, she was the only teacher who saw I didn't want to talk in front of people and the only one who respected that. We became unlikely friends as she would let me hang out after class if Casey wasn't around.

By the time high school rolled around my missions to disappear into the walls was successful, no one ever noticed me at all. This became such a part of my everyday routine I couldn't get out of it. I'd learned that Ms Johnson had moved back to her home town when I hit senior year, I was sad about that. Because now that meant that I only had 1 person left on school grounds who actually liked me, and that was Casey. But she was athletic and had a lot of things going on outside of class so I was alone, very alone, most of the time now. My mum used to try and make me hang out with Laura and her friends, but oh my good god did I not want to do that! It was one of these times when she'd made me drive Laura and her awful gang of friends to a party that the...thing happened. After that I became even more withdrawn from people. This is when my sister really turned on me and became the worst of the bullies. She'd comment on what I wore, what I ate, how I looked, my weight, my inability to make friends, my grades and finally my decision to not apply to college after high school. Everything I did was wrong, but hey apparently I have pretty eyes at least. I think that's the nicest thing she's ever said to me.

So after graduation I worked for a while at a local library and I liked it fine. Mum was SO disappointed that I with my good grades didn't apply to a college when Laura got in to her first choices with her average grades. I asked her point plank if she thought that me with my social anxiety would thrive in a college setting? She just scoffed at me saying something about it just being in my head and I needed to get over myself and grow up. Yeah, real supportive that woman. Dad suddenly passed away leaving a small fortune to me and my sister. We'd never known he had money, maybe not telling us was his way of keeping it from mum. Well Laura bought an apartment straight away, she was “to good” to be living in a dorm anyway. She spent the rest of the money fairly quickly. Me... I still have almost all of it, seeing as I have nothing I want to spend money on,I just have it... I did buy a car though. That was it.

So I moved in with Laura for a while when mum basically threw me out as she met this guy. Then one day out of the blue Ms Johnson called me

“Hello Kat, it's Stella”

“Ms Johnson, hi how are you?”

“Kat...it's Stella. We're both adults now” I could hear her smile

“Ok, Stella. How are you?”

“Oh I'm good thanks, how are you?”

“Well... Ok I guess. Living with my sister so I've been better” she knew the kind of relationship I have with Laura.

“Ouch, well then maybe I'm some kind of fairy godmother calling you like this then. You know I moved back to Hawkins a few years ago?”

“Yeah, I was devastated when I got back to school and you weren't there any more” I say

“Aw, I'm sorry but this thing came up out of the blue and I had to decide fast. So my uncle passed that year and he left me his book store here in Hawkins, I grew up in this store so I couldn't say no when his lawyer called me. But now, I decided I wanna travel some before I become to old” she chuckles “so I wanted to ask you if you'd have any interest coming here and running the store for me while I'm gone?”

“Excuse me? Me, run your book store? Are you for real?” having a book store has always been my dream

“Well I remember you talking so much about it being your dream when we'd have our talks I thought who better to ask” she says and I feel like crying

“Yes... without any doubt yes!”

“Well... you do realize some of it will include talking to people?” she says

“Well... I need to learn sometime, can't be hiding in my local library for ever stacking books. Plus, it's not a big town right?” I ask

“No it's on the smaller side, very charming if you ask me. But then again I grew up here so I might be bias” she says with a laugh “there's barely ever a crowd anywhere except on holidays and then I keep the store closed anyway so you can hide if you feel like it. But I was thinking you could come here like a month before I leave to I can teach you what you need to know. Does that sound ok?”

“Absolutely, when would you like me to be there?” I say feeling excited for the first time in...well forever

“Well I was planning on leaving in June so maybe come at the beginning of May? Or is that too soon?”

“It's not soon enough” I laugh “I would pack up and leave by tomorrow if that's the case”

“Well, I couldn't pay you that much right now and I'd feel bad. But if you'd like to you can come at the middle of April then? That's like 3 weeks from now”

“You have yourself a deal Stella” I say

Telling Laura and my mum I was leaving was the hard part. I think mum always counted on me being there for her to run errands and such so she wouldn't have to and Laura...well she needed me to help pay rent. Otherwise she had no interest in what I did.

“You can't fucking LEAVE?! What about the rent? I can't make that being a full time student!”

“Well you'll just have to take some money from your savings then” I said, knowing very well she spent it all “until you can get a room mate that is”

“Yeah...well. I could, but what if I wanted to live with my sister then, huh?” she tries

“You want to live with me? Laura c'mon no one's gonna believe that. Least of all me. Just get a room mate from college, I bet there's a lot of people wanting to get out of the dorms and live in an apartment down town instead” I say as I mentally start deciding what to bring with me

“A room mate? Like... a stranger?” she looks puzzled

“Well you always say you have such an easy time getting to know people. So get to know someone and ask them to move in. Or just ask any of your existing friends... You do have choices. Whether you like or not I am going to move to Indiana in 2 weeks.”

“Oh you'll be back once loneliness hits you” she's suddenly snappish again

“We'll see” I say and I go to my room and start making a list of things to bring. I decide to call Casey

“Hello?”

“Hey Casey”

“Hey Kat, how you doin' girl?”

“Better than ever, I'm moving”

“Wow...really? Where to?”

“Indiana”

“WHAT!? But where, why, when?”

“This town called Hawkins, Stella called and asked me to be her sub for a while when she's travelling. I'm going to manage her book store for a while”

“Wow! Cool, I didn't know you kept in touch with her”

“Not really kept in touch per say. We've talked maybe twice over the years, but now she just called out of the blue. I'm leaving in 3 weeks, but I thought maybe I can come see you for a week before I leave for Hawkins?”

“Of fucking course you can sweetie”

“Awesome! I'll be there around the 11th maybe?”

“Sure thing! You driving all on your own or?”

“Yeah, I mean I could have my things sent there, I'm not bringing any furniture only my books and clothes. Everything else I can buy there once I know where I'll be staying. But I want to have my car with me so driving seems the best option”

“Well... I was going to come home and see mum and dad soon so what if I come there and then we'll have a road trip back here?”

“You'd do that?”

“Yeah I mean why wouldn't I? Isn't that what best friends are for?” I can hear her smile

“I'd love that Casey! Call me when you've booked your flight and I'll make sure to be ready to go”

“Will do, and sweetie... I think this small town thing might be good for you. City life hasn't been good to you. You might even grow the balls to meet some new people. Gotta go though, talk to you tomorrow or something. Bye love ya”

“Love ya, bye”

Grow the balls to meet new people, nah...not likely. I would however need to talk to people if they come in to buy books. I need to mentally prepare myself for that somehow.

The weeks leading up to leaving are...well strange. Mum calls daily trying to get me to change my mind, and Laura...well she's not speaking to me at all. So at least something is good in all of this. I've packed everything I want to bring with me, the rest I've donated to Goodwill. Casey called me and told me we can leave on the 11th in the morning if we want to. It will take about a day and a half to drive if we make good time and don't stop too often. I'm heaven I'm finally getting out of this place and leaving it and all bad memories behind.

So that was 2 weeks ago, I've been living in Hawkins for 1 week now. Stella helped me find this amazing apartment right in the middle of town. I live about a 10 minute walk from the book store. Stella is super nice, the store is heaven. I've always loved books, they've been my friends when I had no one else. I love that I can be in any world in an instant. I've fallen in love with Mr Darcy, gotten lost in Narnia with Lucy, I've been on an adventure with Bilbo Baggins and not once have I been bullied or made fun of. Books are my escape and have always been. I read absolutely everything I can get my hands on. I might actually lose money from working here. Stella's been teaching me where everything is this first week, next week is ordering both for the store but also how to make orders for customers. Then the third weeks is the one I dread the most...that's when I'm to learn the register and how to do sales. That's when I have to interact with people. But so far everyone that's been in here seems very friendly, and the atmosphere in town is so much calmer than anywhere I'd been in Seattle. Casey calls almost every night asking how I'm doing.

Time jump 4 weeks

“So you'll be ok now? You know how everything works? And remember if there's anything just call Francis ok? I know you can do this Kat, you've been doing great so far!” Stella hands me the keys on Sunday, the night before she leaves

“Yeah, I think I can do it without help. The downside to having a eidetic memory... I can now remember every instruction manual to everything in the store, plus everything you've told me”

“God I wish I had that, would make ordering so much easier if I didn't constantly have to look up order numbers all the time” Stella sighs

“Well, you can just take a deep breath and leave the store in my hands now. Have a great time and send me postcards from everywhere”

“I will, you're my hero Kat! I know you'll do great. Promise me one thing though... at least TRY to make one friend? This town can get boring otherwise” she smiles at me and I promise her I will try, she accepts that and gives me a hug and leaves.

Stella had been saving up for this trip for years, she's going on a round the world trip. So I'm here for at least 6 months if not more, she's visiting friends as she travels most of them in Europe. She also wanted to do a trip through the US when she gets back so she might be another couple of months if I'm doing ok. I'm nervous about the following day being my first alone in the store. I make dinner, then I put away the last of my books. I finally got the bookshelves I ordered delivered so now all my things have a home. I must say the apartment is very cosy, I might have to invite Casey soon.

Monday 10 am

I turn the 'OPEN' sign and unlock the door, it's my first day alone in here. Mondays are slow so I'm in for a smooth start at least. I have some ordering to do and some reorganizing I've been planning. I think the layout of the store could be better. I'm half way through the science corner when I hear the bell on the door. I look around the corner and I see a girl about my age looking around

“Hello? Anyone here?”

“I'll be right with you” the words were stuck for a second but I got them out. I come out from the corner with a smile, I've tried SO hard to make my smile look not so uncomfortable but more open and friendly. “Hey, how can I help you?”

“Oh, hi... Where's Stella?”

“Ehm, Stella has taken some time off. I'm going to be here for a while taking care of the store for her”

“Wow, ok. Well... welcome to Hawkins then I suppose. So, you're new... never seen you before so not a local. I'm Robin, I work at Family Video. I tend to talk too much so just slap me when you need me to shut up. Uhmm... So I need this book right...well duh I'm in a book store. Well so, I read about this book in a magazine and they recommended it if you're like in to science fiction and stuff. 1984? You have it? I know it's like on some high schools reading list... but yeah Hawkins made it's own rules. I mean they thought the kids in the DnD club were Satan worshippers” I just stare at her... there are a lot of sounds coming from such a petit person

“Ok...woah there” I stop her talking “you're looking for 1984 by George Orwell did I get that right?”

“Yeah, right” big smile

“Ok, yeah I have it. I'll get it for you” I go and I get the book she's looking for “here you go. Was that all?” I want to make some kind of small talk she seems nice but my brain can't find any words that aren't book store related

“Thanks, so when did you move to Hawkins and where from?” she smiles at me again

“Well... I came here 5 weeks ago now, from Seattle”

“Seattle? Wow that's far... but like...why here?” She puts her elbows on the counter and stares at me with interested eyes

“Ehmmm... I know Stella from before. She used to be my teacher in middle school. She called and asked if I wanted the job while she was travelling”

“Cool, where she off to then? How long are you here for? Where do you live... I mean do you know anyone but Stella around here?” A lot of questions and my mind is quickly going blank

“I'm sorry... I suck at small talk. I think I'm here at least 8 months, she's going to go around the world. Ehhhh... I live in the blue house on Main...and I know no one”

“Ooook...so when Stella does something she does it thoroughly apparently! Awesome! Well... I can be your friend, and my 2 best friends are amazing I think you'd like them... Wanna hang out sometime?”

“I...ehmmm... I don't know...how to be around new people” I blush

“I think you're doing just fine... I mean I can be a handful and so far you've answered all of my questions. Steve's a bit more mellow but Eddie...well he can be like me a bit intense. But they're great” she smiles. So her friends are...guys.

“So one of them your boyfriend or?” I ask

“Noooo... I'm a lesbian”

“Oh... my best friend is a lesbian” I have no idea why I tell her this

“She is? Bring her here I'll be my most charming self... I mean if she's single that is”

“She is... as far as I know. I was going to invite her here this weekend.” I say thinking that this Robin might actually be just Casey's type

“Cool, well I need to run thanks for the book” she says and pays “so if you wanna hang out and meet Steve we work until 7 pm. So when you close up just, you know come on in to the video store and say hi. You pass it on your way home” she gives me yet another smile and it feels so friendly I can't stop my mouth

“Maybe you wanna come to dinner with me tonight? You can bring your friends? I was gonna make lasagna...” WHAT THE HELL?

“Sure! We'd love to I know I can answer for the guys to”

“What are they like... I mean what do they like to do... I wanna know if I have anything to talk to them about... I... haven't made a friend since I was 5...” I say and I turn a deep red color

“5!? Wow then you need us” she giggles “well Steve he's mostly in to movies and girls... Eddie is a mechanic who loves rock 'n roll and DnD” she says

“Well... I love movies to and ...well I've read every DnD book that's come out so I might have something to talk to them about then” I smile and this time it feels natural

“Wow... So you're a nerd too then? Eddie's gonna love you. Damn gotta go but we'll be at yours around 7:30 then. Blue house on main?”

“Yes, 2nd floor, door on the right. It says K. Smith on the door”

“Nice, see you then” and she's out the door. I start to hyperventilate, what the hell did I jut do? Did I invite 3 complete strangers in to my home? I need to call Casey! I go in to the office and pick up the phone dialling the number for Caseys office

“Casey Rowling, Human resources”

“Hey”

“Kat?”

“Yeah, panicking”

“Why? What happened?”

“I think I've done something potentially stupid”

“Ok?”

“I've invited 3 strangers to have dinner with me tonight”

“Wait....what? YOU did what?”

“Yes....yes exactly I did what... This girl came in looking for a book, talking oh my god she was talking. I like her though and before I knew it I asked her and her 2 guy friends over for dinner tonight. What the hell do I do Casey?”

She chuckles “Well I'd say make dinner... But c'mon Kat, this is a good thing. So ok a girl and 2 guys... like boyfriend and friend or what?”

“Nah she plays for your team... They're her best friends”

“She does...she cute?”

“Well she did want me to bring you here... She's energetic, ehmmm... red hair, greenish eyes, pretty, petit...very friendly and talks A LOT!” I say trying to describe Robin “Oh yeah her name is Robin and she has freckles”

“Sounds like a real cute girl... Soooo...when can I come meet her” Casey laughs

“Well...let me see first if I scare them away with my complete lack of social skills or if they'll hang around for a while” I giggle

“Aww c'mon Kat, you're awesome. Just try to relax and they'll love you. I know I do...and you've been a weirdo since we were 5”

I know she thinks so, and I mean...if she hadn't then why would she have been my friend for 17 years. I just have a really hard time showing anyone else that. She knows this

“I know you're freaking out about this, but something about this girl must have struck a chord with you Kat. Or you wouldn't have invited her, and her friends... I mean good girl right there! Maybe you'll fancy one of her friends? I know you're hurt real bad but not every guy is like that asshole sweetie, maybe... I don't know keep an open mind?” she just wants what's good for me I know but that pit in my stomach that's churning and reaking havoc right now is soooo bad. “I realize you need support here but... I have to work I have a meeting in 5 and I need to look through my notes. You gonna be ok? I can call when I get home around 6:30?” she says

“I don't know... I mean I am freaking out you've got that right. But, I think I'll be fine. If they're anything like Robin they'll keep the conversation going even if I'm not.” I smile at the memory of the very talkative girl “Ok so work hard and play nice. Good luck in your meeting and I'll call you before you go to work tomorrow instead. I might be to busy preparing the food by 6:30 to get to the phone. Love ya” I say

“Love ya to, and you play nice also. Have fun, I'm rooting for you! And just imagine when Laura calls next time and you can actually tell her you've made 3 new friends, might kill the bitch” Casey chuckles and we hang up

She's right... If this night goes well I can finally tell my sister that yes I have made new friends, 2 being male even, she's going to hate that. This makes me smile as I continue rearranging in the store. There's a few more customers coming in throughout the day. Just that small encounter with Robin being kind of a success, from my point of view, makes interaction with any one else coming in to the store easier. I have a smile on my face the whole day, as I close up for the day the butterflies in my stomach start acting up. It's 4:30... In 3 hours I'll have people over, people I have no relation to. I go to the supermarket and get he things I need for dinner, then as I walk past the video store I look inside, I can't see Robin anywhere but I do see a tall, fucking gorgeous guy with great hair stacking some shelves. Maybe that's Steve? No... I mean she would have mentioned if she was bringing someone so handsome it might make me cry. I giggle to myself as I continue home.

Earlier at Family Video

“Steve, you're not busy tonight are you? After work?” Robin strolls in from her morning break

“Nah, was gonna hang out with Ed for a bit”

“Good! Call him and tell him to meet us here. We're all invited to dinner!” Robin smiles

“Dinner? Where?” Steve sounds confused

“I met this really cute chick at the book store. Apparently Stella is travelling the world and this girl from Seattle came to run the store for her. She doesn't know ANYONE here Steve and she's been here a month already. So I kinda said yes when she invited us for dinner...she's making us lasagna” big smile again

“Wait, wait... what? Let me get this... Stella's gone on a trip?”

“Yes”

“This girl from Seattle is running the store for her while she's gone?”

“Yes”

“She's been here a month and still doesn't know anyone?”

“Nope”

“And she invited US for dinner... you sure she didn't just invite you and you're bringing us along as a package deal?”

“No she said to bring my friends if you guys weren't busy. She's real shy but oh my god Steve she's so cute. I think...and I'm sorry dude, but she's just Ed's type. She's read EVERY  DnD book there is, but she loves movies to so I guess you'll have something to talk to her about as well. Soooo... we're going right?”

“Ok... So cute but shy girl asks us 3 to come have dinner? You think I'm passing up a home cooked meal? Do I look like an idiot?”

“Yes...but I thought you'd go for it anyway” Robin makes a face at him “Now call Ed while I get to unpacking stuff. We're to be there at 7:30 ok”

“Ok, I don't even know how to explain this to him but I'll call” Steve sighs and goes over to the phone

“Yeah this is Eddie”

“Yeah... So long story that I have no clue how to explain to you dude, but be here at 7 we're going to dinner at a new girl's house. Robin will...well I guess attempt to explain it to you”

“Steve? I...what?”

“Just be here at 7”

“Ok...fine see you at 7”

Steve hangs up, still confused

“THERE, I CALLED, HE'LL BE HERE AT 7” Steve calls to Robin in the back

“GREAT DINGUS! NOW COME HELP” she calls back and he sighs and goes to the back to see what the problem is.

At around 5 he happens to look out the window as he's putting new arrivals out on the shelves. He sees this very cute girl passing by looking in. She doesn't see that he's looking at her but she seems to be scanning the store for something or someone. Maybe that's the girl Robin met? She sure was cute, maybe not exactly Steve's type but he can definitely see Eddie go for her.

Back at Kats place

Even though I've made probably hundreds of lasagnas through the years now I'm struggling to remember the steps. My mind is so preoccupied with actually hanging out with new people it's starting to overheat I think. I have to leave it all and go out on the balcony just to get some air, this is ridiculous... Robin was a real nice girl, so her friends ought to be nice to? And if you don't hit it off with them then at least you've taken a step in the right direction. I try to give myself a pep talk like Casey would. I look at the time, it's 6, I need to get started now. Cooking and baking is a hobby I've always enjoyed. It calms my mind. I take a deep breath and I shake my whole body trying to rid it of the tension. It kinda works so I get going on the food. As I start my mind finally relaxes and turns thought free for a while. At 6:45 I put the lasagna in the oven and I sit down to try and relax some more before they arrive, instant freak out. I need to shower and change how could I forget? I've been hauling books all day I must smell like a sweaty pig! I run in to the bathroom and I shower at lightning speed, dry myself off quickly and then I freeze in front of my wardrobe. What the hell to wear? Usually after work it's sweats and a t-shirt, doesn't seem fitting tonight. I look through my clothes...maybe just a pair of jeans and a nice top? I have a blue one I really enjoy, Casey said it makes me look amazing. I mean she loves me so she has to say it but maybe I can wear it regardless? I take it out and put it on, looking at myself in the mirror. Well... it didn't make me look worse than before so, I guess it's a win. I brush my hair out and I put on just a hint of perfume. It's almost 7:30, and I'm pacing in the kitchen trying to not have a fit. Set the table...yes I can set the table. There's a knock at the door as I set the plates down on the table. FUCK! One deep breath an here we go!

I open the door and I see Robins smiling face, but no one else. Did her friends not want to come?

“Hey, we're here, the guys had to have a smoke before coming up. So I brought snacks and I brought some beer. I mean not sure if you think beer goes with lasagna but I mean it goes with everything right? And these guys are a bit nervous meeting you so I promised them beer if they just relaxed a bit and yeah here's flowers for you I didn't know what to give you. I mean I had to give you something you're new in town and I said welcome didn't I?” a flood of words straight away, I just gawk at her. Her friends are nervous about meeting me? But...

“Ehmmm... hey, so yeah... welcome. I have to set the table but come in and make yourselves at home. I can take those” I say and take the beers and the flowers. “Good thinking I totally spaced out in the store and forgot to get something to drink. I'm sort of a wreck to...I haven't met new people in...well forever” I say and I head back to the kitchen. I hear voices and heavier footsteps coming through the door. I can do this! I can make small talk and I CAN act like a normal enough person for one night. I keep giving myself this pep talk as I finish setting the table and making a salad.

“Hey can I help?” Robin's suddenly standing in the door “I left the guys in your living room. Eddie's already mesmerized by your book collection... Steve's keeping an eye on him, he gets easily excited, kinda like a puppy. He might climb your shelves if not monitored” she giggles

“Huh? My books? He's in to books as well, wasn't he a DnD nerd who likes rock?”

“Yeah he is, but he reads more than anyone I know. I think he'll try and leave with at least a few of your books” I look terrified and Robin laughs “no, no like he's gonna want to borrow some of them”

“Oh, phew I thought he was going to kidnap them” I smile

“Nah I'll tackle him and you can hog-tie him if he tries” she winks at me “so did you need help?”

“You can cut up some bread if you'd like. Knives are in that drawer over there and the bread's there on the counter” I point and she nods and goes to get a bread knife

“Wow this bread is amazing, so fresh. Where did you find bread like this around here” she says as she cuts it

“Ehm... I made it” I say blushing

“You MADE this bread? Why the hell do you sell books? You should open a bakery!” she takes a piece and throws it in her mouth “OH MY GOD! I've never tasted bread like this before... You sure you're not a lesbian cuz I wanna marry you for this bread alone” she smiles

“Thank you, and no... But my friend Casey will be here soon, she's a pretty good baker as well” I say with a smile

“Oh...cool... So can I meet her?” she blushes

“I think she's counting on it, I kinda mentioned you today. I mean if we get along that well of course” I get flustered I shouldn't have said that

“Of course we're gonna be friends, why wouldn't we? And those 2 out there...you're feeding them. They already love you... puppies remember” she says and I have to laugh

“Ok, maybe I won't have such a hard time with this if I think of them as puppies” I say

“Look, I told them you're shy and that you're not used to new people. I think I'm the worst here and you've handled me like a champ. They're good guys I swear” she says and pats me on the arm

“Ok, so I guess I should go in there and introduce myself then... Could you check the lasagna? If it's soft and seems done please take it out of the oven” I say and I mentally prepare myself to go meet the guys

“Will do chef” she says and salutes me

I wipe my hands on a kitchen towel and I take a deep breath and head in to the living room. “puppies, they're puppies” I think to myself like a mantra. Until I step over the threshold and I see them. Fucking hell these aren't puppies... Wow! It IS the guy I saw through the window today, and by my bookshelves I see what I can only describe as the most handsome guy I've even seen in real life standing looking at all of my books making little notes in a notebook. My mind goes blank, what do I say?

“Uh... Hey” it's more like a croak than an actual word but at least it's a sound

2 sets of eyes turn at me, both intense, both brown. One hazel one deep chocolate. I make a whimpering sound to myself

“Heeeeey, you must be the woman of the hour. Kat was it? Robin's been talking my ear off all day about you. I'm Steve” the one I saw through the window comes up to me and shakes my hand “that's Eddie over there...and I have no idea why he's silent suddenly that never happens” he says smiling at the other one

“Oh, yeah I'm Kat. Welcome to my place” I shake his hand back and I look over at the other guy who's just staring at me “Hello Eddie” I say trying so hard not to sound like I have my heart in my throat. Still only staring from over by the books

“HEY DUDE! Snap out of it the pretty girl is talking to you” Steve snaps his fingers in Eddies direction. Pretty girl? Me?

“Oh...fuck...yeah HI... Eddie, yes I am...him” he drags his hand through his hair turning pink in the face. He comes up and he takes my hand, not shaking it just holding on “Good meeting, nice you...”

“Smooth dude... She's gonna think you're quite normal now...” Steve sighs and Eddie blushes even more. What? This is supposed to be MY move

Eddie takes a deep breath “Ok, do over. Yes I'm Eddie... It's nice to meet you” he takes my hand again and shakes it sending a jolt of something through me

“Kat, hi” I say

“Spelled like the animal or with a K?” he smiles at me I and swoon, that was some smile

“With a K. It's short for Katherine” I say

“Cool, so Kat... The books. Wow! I've been writing down all the books I wanna borrow, I think it's pretty much all of them” he smiles. Before I can say something about these not being all of my books I hear a shriek from the kitchen

“Kaaaat” I stare at the guys and excuse myself to go see what is happening in there.

“What?” I see Robin standing in front of the open oven poking at the tray with the lasagna with a wooden spoon. “Well...you know it's not going to bite you” I say

“I can't find your oven mitts... So I thought I would poke it out of the oven”

“And then what?” I have to hold my laughter

“I hadn't thought about that, ok? Help” she smiles and I go up to her taking my oven mitts from the wall beside her and she facepalms and sighs

“See...ok they were to close to my face...”

“It's fine, just go get Steve and Eddie and go sit down I'll be right there. Bring the beers to will you” I say as I take the lasagna out of the oven

“Sure thing” she says and takes the beers out of the fridge and leaves the kitchen. I stand there for a minute and breathe heavily. Ok so this seems to be going ok, I mean Eddie seemed more nervous than me there for a second. But could they not be so fucking hot? Like...what the hell is this? I don't think I've ever seen guys like these 2 before and I've grown up in a city with around half a million people in it. And Steve called me a pretty girl...like that's never happened before. EVER

One deep breath and a body shake later and I can finally leave the kitchen to join them at the table.

“Ok so here's dinner, I hope you'll enjoy it.” I say and I give them a smile

“Please...do that to me all the time...” Eddie looks at me

I'm confused “Do what Eddie?” I ask

“Smile at me...” he says and I turn blood red “oh sorry... I didn't mean to embarrass you, I just...fuck...I mean you're beautiful but when you smile like that you're exquisite” he looks at me

“Ehm...” I blush and look down at the table

“Ok, stop with the brutal honesty here Munson. I told you she's shy” I can hear Robin scold him quietly

“Sorry... I just... but she iiiisss” he hisses back at her

I glance up at Steve who's just smiling at me “Eddie can be... Well impulsive at best. You ok?”

“Yeah, I just... No one's ever said that about me before, just caught me a bit off guard” I say quietly “but thank you Eddie, really thank you.” I have to make myself look at him across the table he's just staring at me

“No one's told you you're beautiful before? You mean like here in Hawkins?” he sounds like he's in disbelief

“No... I mean like ever. Even my mum introduces me and my sister as 'her lovely daughter Laura and the other one' so... No one” I say and I have no idea why I share such personal information with people I've just met.

“You're shitting me right now?” Robins jaw has dropped and I look at her

“No... There's a reason I can't interact with new people. I just assume they're all going to be mean” I say and I look down at the table again fiddling with the fork “please can we eat now and then deal with the mess that is me on another occation?” I say

“Sure... We respect that. DON'T WE?” Steve is staring at his friends, Robin and Eddie look at each other and they blush

“Sorry, we'll behave” they say in chorus and I have to let out a small giggle. It's like they're being told off by a older brother or their dad.

“So how do you 3 know each other? You seem...very different from one another” I say amazed I'm asking questions now

“We've all been in school at the same time. I'm the youngest I graduated high school 2 years ago. Steve graduated 3 years ago and Eddie is the oldest but since he's not that in to the whole 'doing the things the teacher tells you to do' he ALSO graduated 2 years ago even if he's 23 by now.”

“Ok so let me see if I got this... Robin you're 21? Steve 22 and Eddie 23?” I ask

“Yup correct” Steve smiles at me “And you?”

“I'm 22 just like you” I say to him “also graduated 3 years ago. What about college, any one of you go?” I ask

“Nope, I have the brains but not the money, Steve has the money but not the brains and Eddie here has the brains but not the will or the money.” Robin chuckles “so we're all working class heroes”

“I like that, I hate the idea of college myself” they all look at me “Well I have pretty severe social anxiety and well... college is not the ultimate setting for someone like me. I do have both the brains and the money but...what was it Eddie, not the will?” I smile at him again remembering what Robin said

“Yeah, can't stand the idea of it really. I like working with my hands and reading stuff because I like it not because it's required for a class. So I work as a mechanic now. And then I play DnD, read and play my guitar in my spare time” it's like he's telling me all the good stuff about himself so that I'll like him

“Yeah Kat's real cool Ed... She has a... what was it you called it?”

“My eidetic memory?” I say

“Yeah that! She's read every DnD book out there and she remembers IT ALL” Robin sounds like she's trying to sell me to the highest bidder. Eddie stares at me

“ALL of them? I mean... You have any of them? I can't really afford to buy the books I have to read what little is in the magazines and then make up my own campaigns from that” he says

“Yeah I have a few of them, those books in the living room isn't my whole collection by far. My fantasy and sci-fi collection is in the bedroom” I say and both Eddie and Robin light up “eat first then you can browse” I say nodding at the lasagna. They all help themselves to the food and they're complimenting it so fiercely I feel like my head might explode from the flattery

“I mean... DnD savant, book collector, baker extraordinaire, beautiful as hell AND you can cook... Like marry me please?” Eddie says when he's finished eating leaning back patting his stomach

“HEY! I asked her first” Robin pouts

“Well maybe she's not playing on your corner, think about that? What if she wants a long haired freak instead huh?” he makes a face at her and I don't know how to react

“They're always like this don't listen to them. It's like having stubborn kids sometimes” Steve chuckles “So how come you ended up here in Hawkins of all places? Rob said you moved here from Seattle?” he sees my discomfort and changes the subject, he's quickly becoming my hero

“Well, I know Stella from when she was my middle school teacher. She was the only teacher I liked and as unlikely as it seems we became friends. We've been in touch a few times over the years since she left Seattle to come back here. Then she called me back in March wondering if I'd be interested in helping her manage the book store while she was away on her trip. She knew owning a book store was a dream of mine and I mean I couldn't say no. So I came her in the middle of April and well...here we are.” I tell them

“But like, did you know anything about Hawkins before moving here? It's not like the place people move TO really” Robin says

“Nope, I didn't know a thing. I tried reading up on the town but seems nothing happens here, not a mention in papers in years” I say. Weirdly enough the 3 of them stare at each other with a look I can't really place

“Yup, that'll be Hawkins... The capital city of nothing happening” Eddie laughs a kind of strained laugh, but I think nothing more about it. “But like... what's with the book obsession? I mean I get it books are awesome but you have like EVERYTHING in there” Eddie smiles at me

“Books don't bully you do they?” I say to him staring straight in to those amazingly brown eyes. I've never even looked Casey in the eye, and now I'm keeping eye contact with someone I met 2 hours ago.

“Uhm, no they don't...” he glances down and then looks up again “I get that, more than you think” he then proceeds to say.

“I doubt that to be honest. I don't mean to be rude but...I highly doubt you've had it as bad as me” I say and I start clearing the table to get my mind out of the spiral that inevitably will lead to me having to cry and go to bed. I take all the plates and I go in to the kitchen with them. It takes about 2 minutes and I hear Eddies voice behind me

“Would you tell me about it? I'm not as bad as I might look, I happen to be an excellent listener” he's carrying the other stuff from the table with him

“Thanks” I say and take the things from him “and...maybe. I don't know I have issues” I say and give him a small smile

“Ok, well everyone has those, in some way or another. What's one of yours? I'll tell you one of mine” he starts running the water in the sink “Yeah I'ma help you do the dishes and if you say no I WILL carry you out in to the living room and then I'll do it myself” he smiles

“You don't have to...” he stares me down “ok, ok sorry. Thank you” I smile “one issue? I'm horrible in social situations, I can not handle strangers. I can't make new friends because I don't know how to interact with people”

“Well... I would call bullshit there sweetheart, you'd never met me or Steve until tonight and you're doing just fine” he winks at me and I feel something inside of me catch on fire

“Well... You didn't see me minutes before you came here. Besides, this might sound strange but I feel like I've known you guys for years... I think it's because you ALL remind me of the only friend I've ever had. You feel....homey. Am I making sense at all here?” I say

“Sure thing, I or I mean we all feel the same. You fit in...like instantly. It's weird to think that you weren't here before so you don't know... ehh... things” he says, a bit uncomfortable at the end

“Know things?” I say as I take a towel and start drying the dishes Eddie's done

“You know what, if I can have a go at your bedroom and borrow whatever I find in there I promise to come over some day and tell you all about it. Deal?” he says

I can feel my stomach doing a flip at the thought of him and me being alone here. But not a bad one like I always felt before as I've been alone with a guy. This time it's a good flip.

“Deal Eddie! But... You can't borrow ANYTHING you find in there” I giggle, then I actually realize what I said and how he might interpret it and I go blood red and I feel like I'm about to throw up

“Wow, we have a naughty side do we? Ok so no going through the night stand, noted” he jokes then he sees my panicked look “oh god no I'm sorry... I was just being a freak... I'm sorry, bad joke”

I can't speak, all the years of being awkward and silent comes back and I lose all ability to act normal. I just wanna be the wallflower again. I dry off the rest of the dishes then I leave the kitchen and head out on to the balcony by the dining area. I need fresh air, Eddie comes out after me

“Hey, Kat... I am sorry. I didn't mean to overstep like that”

“It's...ok. I just... have issues with THAT”

“That? What...sex stuff? I'm sorry I'm being an idiot right now...but if you didn't mean what I apparently thought you meant...what did you mean?”

“I...meant like my dresses. When I said it and then you looked at me like that I realized what you thought I meant...oh kill me now” I say and I hide my face

“Hey, hey... there will be no killing of my new favourite nerd. I think you need to have a good long talk with someone who doesn't know you since before” he says and he rubs my arms and I flinch “Ok...like for real” he lets me go

“I have a therapist” I say

“No I mean, not like that. They're good don't get me wrong but I think you need like... Well hell I think you need to talk to me... I might not look it but I do have my own shit I carry around so I might be more helpful than you think?”

“You?” I think about it, would I want to talk to Eddie about myself in a deeper way than I've done so far? Maybe I do... “ok... I'll give it a go some day. Can't promise when I'll feel ok with it but thank you for being there for me even though you don't know me” I say

“Well... That's sorta what I wanna change sweetheart” he smiles “should we get back inside? Bet you 10 bucks Steve's asleep and Robin's trashing your bookshelves by now”

“TRASHING?!” I gasp

“Yeah... reaking havoc galore” he teases

“Ok, was that the master plan all along? You distract me with those eyes of yours and she goes crazy with my books?” I say

“Distract you with my eyes? Was that a compliment?” he smiles

“Don't get full of yourself, yes you have beautiful eyes, ok” I say now more worried about my books than the fact that I just gave a guy a compliment

“Thank you... and yeah of course it was all part of my plan to get you alone with me” he smirks and I tense up instantly “Kat...what's happened to you in the past? That was just an innocent wording and you tense up like I just told you I was going to hurt you... I mean I would never” his voice is hushed and a bit sad

“I'm...sorry. Bad things” is all I can say then I go back inside “as I said maybe one day we'll talk about it” I turn to him and I try to smile

He sighs and he gives me a heartfelt smile “I hope so” he motions for me to walk in front of him in to the living room. It's not quite havoc galore but it's close. Robin's been going through my bookshelves and she's pulled out books in to 2 piles. I giggle as I see Steve's asleep on the couch, just like Eddie said he'd be.

“Ok...so what’s with the 2 piles?” I say to Robin as I enter

“1 is take home now and one is get when I bring the others back...” she smiles at me kind of embarrassed I caught her

“Ok, you've been in to the bedroom yet?” I ask

“Nooo... I wanted to check with you first” she smiles

“Well seeing as you got first dibs on these shelves it’s only fair that Eddie gets first dibs on the bedroom ones” I say and I motion to him to follow me. We walk in to my bed room and his jaw drops to the floor as he enters

“How can you afford this place? And holy shit...” he sees the book shelves in here extending from floor to ceiling. He's in his own world as he drags his hands on the spines of the books. I smile as I hear him draw breath as he gets to my DnD section “like...you own these? And I can borrow them? You're sure?” he's in complete awe as he turns and looks at me

“Yes, maybe not all of them at once. Leave some so you'll have a reason to visit” I say

“Books isn't the reason I'd come visit” he smiles with his back turned to me. He picks out 3 books, then he looks over at the rest of them picking out a few more “you have books here I've never even heard of. Like are they all in English?” he asks

“Yeah, I do have a few in French that I inherited from my grandmother. They're old romance novels she bought way back when she lived in France. I can read them, I just haven't ever spoken French though so the pronunciation in my head is probably waaaay off but I don't care.” I smile

“Wow, you're like...perfect” he's looking at me now “some day, when you're ok with it I wanna kiss you. Just a heads up” he turns to the books again making sure there's nothing he's left out and my mind is racing... He wants to kiss me...some day! Not now, not this instant. Strangely I feel a bit upset by this, that he doesn't want to kiss me now... I smile at his back, and he thinks I'm perfect. I do a tiny dance before he turns around again. “Ok so I have enough to last me like a week now. But trust me I'll be back” he says

“You're welcome any day. I might have something that will interest you. But that's for another day” I say

“Awww tease... I wanna know NOW” he chuckles

“Patience there Eddie, good things come to those who wait you know” I smirk at him

“I knoooow... But I've waited my whole life and nothing good has ever happened to me” he says “so I may have become quite impatient. But for you, I'll wait” he smiles “I kinda think you're the good thing I've been waiting for” then he leaves the room and I'm stuck standing there not knowing what the hell just happened. Does he like me? Like actually LIKE me? I look at the time, it's close to midnight so I can't call Casey now and dissect this in to a million little pieces.

The 3 of them say good night and leave, and I'm alone again. I brush my teeth and I lay down in bed thinking about this day. Why haven't I done this before? It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. Or it might be the people I had over that made the difference. Robin is wonderful, so much fun and full of energy. Steve is an absolute sweetheart and then there's Eddie. There's something there, something I can't put my finger on. I mean I know I liked the way he looked from the first sight of him but then we spoke and...he's amazing. I fall asleep with a smile on my lips, a smile from making new friends.

At 8 I'm woken up by the phone ringing. At first I can't understand what's making that god awful noise. Oh yeah, phone. I drag my ass out of bed feeling like I'm hungover from 1 beer.

“Hello?” I croak in to the phone

“Oh so you ARE alive, weren't you gonna call me before I headed to work? Now I'm skipping my morning chat and coffee with the cute girl down the hall just to call you” It's Casey

“Sorry sweetie, but it was later than I thought when they left and I feel fucking hung over from 1 beer. I think I might be hung over from socialising if that’s even a thing.” I chuckle

“Ok, but that's awesome Kat, like then it was a good evening?” she sounds so excited for me

“It was, it was so much better than I ever would have dreamed of. I really like them all” I say

“Ok, so any of the guys peak any special interest? They hot?”

“Hot? Jesus, Mary, Joseph AND the donkey Casey, they're like model fucking hot. And yeah... I think I might be crushing a little on Eddie” I blush as I say his name

“WEEEEE!” She's squealing so loud I bet her entire office building can hear her. “Ok so I am definitely coming to see you, this weekend good?”

“Uhmm... sure I guess. I mean it's me I never have plans” I say

“You might have now that you've got the hotties in your life” she teases

“Yeah right, in that case I'll just leave you with Robin then” I say

“Done deal, I gotta go love. But I am so happy for you! See people aren't that scary. Love ya”

“Bye, love ya back” we hang up and I start thinking to myself that, no people might not be so scary. OR is it that I found people that I feel connected to that made them less intimidating? Being me, I have no idea how these things work normally. Do you like meet someone and go Hey I like you , I'm keeping you and then that's it? You're friends? I hop in the shower and get dressed, feeling so light and summery today. I look out the window and I see the clear blue sky and the sun and I decide to wear a dress today. I usually never wear dresses as I never feel cute enough to pull them off, but today I'm in a 'fuck that' kinda mood. I pick out a flowy floral dress to mark that summer is really coming in strong now. I look in the mirror and for once I actually am pleased at what I see. Imagine that...

At 10 I open the door to the store and I continue my work from the previous day. A few customers stroll in from the street, all very welcoming and friendly. Some stay an chat a bit, mostly about where Stella's off to and how I know her. At lunch time I go in the back and have my leftover lasagna that I packed, the day is slow and it's to my liking I'm not 100% sure of everything yet. Around 2 I hear the bell over the door and I peek out from the office where I'm going through orders, I see a brown mane of curly hair disappear behind a shelf. Was that? I head out in to the store

“Hello?” I say

“Hey there” I jump at the sound coming from behind me. It IS Eddie

“Hi” I blush “I thought that was you disappearing behind the shelves” I say

“Yeah I didn't see you behind the counter so I thought I'd go look for you. Wow you look amazing” he smiles at me and my knees wobble a bit

“I do? Thank you... You look, well you always look good I suppose” I say a little more direct than I meant it to sound

“That's a weirdly direct compliment. But thanks, I like that you think I look good. Might give me a fighting chance then” he smiles even wider at me

“Fighting chance? At what?” I'm confused

“At getting you to go out with me” Eddie looks at me with those dark brown eyes and I would have followed him to then ends of the earth and then jumped off the edge if he'd asked me to

“You needn't flatter me that much to get me to do that. Quite honestly you could tell me I look like crap and I'd still go” I admit, then I realize how that sounded and I blush “Oh wait that sounded bad, didn't it? I...well I'm weird” I say with an apologetic smile

“Hey, I'm a freak so we're a match made in heaven then. And trust me I don't think you CAN look like crap so I'd never ever have to say that to you and if I ever do you have my full permission to kick my ass for being disrespectful” he says leaning on the counter smiling at me taking my breath away “so you wanna go out with me?”

I study his face as I consider what he's asking me. He doesn't look like the kind of guy that would turn on the flip of a coin to become mean or violent. What the hell

“Yes please, I'd love to” I hear my self say and I am met by the most beaming smile I've ever seen

“Awesome! Friday? I'll pick you up at 7?” he says

“Sure, sounds perfect” this will give me time to freak out enough times to take the edge of before Friday.

Eddie holds out his hand palm up, I look at it a little confused. Then I carefully place my hand on his, I think that's what he wants? He smiles, pulls my hand closer and kisses the top of it

“Until Friday then gorgeous girl” he says and leaves the book store and I am standing there in complete shock. He kissed my hand, and I didn't pull away. Some might call this a small gesture but to me it's a huge fucking deal. I run in to the back office and I pick up the phone

“Casey Rowling, Human resources”

“Yeah...freak out”

“Again? Did you ask another set of strangers to have dinner with you?”

“Nah, but see... Eddie just asked me out Friday and then he kissed my hand”

There is silence “HE WHAT? Please for the love of kittens tell me you said yes?”

“What? Of course I did, I had no reason to say no. Real or made up...”

“Pheeew good girl! See you're doing amazing there, knew moving away from  that toxic place would do you all sorts of good. So...not washing that hand any time soon I guess” she teases

“Nooooo...I've drawn an outline of where his lips touched my skin and I'm going to carefully wash around that area” I say

“I bet” Casey laughs “but hey, as little of a gesture as that seems to me I understands it's huge to you. And I'm happy for you. Guess my visit will have to wait a week then, you'll be busy this weekend” I can hear her smile

“Why not? We're only going out Friday night. You can come Saturday? I mean I might need you to freak out to in person” I say

“Sure thing, I'll be over on Saturday. But I am staying the night so invite those new friends of yours for drinks on Saturday night” she says

“Will do. Thank you Casey”

“No problem sweetie. Talk to you later”

We hang up, so ok... A date, I've never had a date. How does one act on a date? I know asking Casey would do me no good, she doesn't really date. She goes out to bars and brings girls home and then that's it. I just hope she won't do that to Robin, she seems like the relationship kinda girl not the casual hook up kind. I don't want to do it but I might actually have to call my sister...or wait... I look at the time, it's about an hour before I close for the day. I have an idea, might be a foolish one but it's worth a try if it will spare me a conversation about dating with my sister. As I wrap up the day and turn the sign to say 'CLOSED' I feel the reality of the situation hit me. What if he wants to do stuff? After the date? Do I tell him about what's happened to me on the first date or do I just say no and give no explanation... I start to feel panicked, what if he's like HIM? I don't think he is but, how can I be sure? I lock the door and I head towards Family video. I go in and I hear Robin loudly debating with someone about the excellency of Tom Cruise, apparently Robin is NOT convinced. Steve is behind the counter as I walk up

“Hey Kat good to see you, thanks for last night it was awesome” he smiles widely at me

“Hey Steve, that's sweet thank you. Hey may I have a word with you?” I ask him and he looks at me curiously

“Sure, hang on a sec. HEY ROB! Wanna come do some actual work for a bit?” he calls over to the direction I hear Robins voice coming from

“Yeah be right there, TOM CRUISE IS NOT GOD....fuuuuck” I hear and then stomping footsteps head our way. I have to laugh at her, I wholeheartedly agree, he is not. She beams when she sees me

“Heeeeey Kat! Happy to see you, what's up?” she goes in behind the counter after giving me a hug

“I was sorta hoping I could have a word with Steve real quick” I say and her eyebrows shoot up

“Ok, well sure. Keep him for all I care he's no good to me anyway” she chuckles

“I will not be dragged in to your pointless arguments with Gareth, I've told you this EVERY time” Steve smiles at her “So wanna go in the back and talk?” he asks me motioning to me to come behind the counter

“Yeah, thanks” I say and I follow him to the back room where they have their staff area

“So what's up Kat, what can I do for you?” he offers me a seat at the table and he sits down opposite me

“Well... I didn't know who to talk to. So...” I don't really know where or even how to begin “Eddie showed up at the store today” I say

“Ok, good or bad visit? Am I giving him a high five or kicking his ass?” he smiles a comforting smile at me

“Well, high five I guess... He asked me out” I say

“Well shit! Good going Munson” Steves smile gets even bigger

“See, here's the thing. I've never had a date... I don't know how to act” I blush and look down at the table

“You've never had a date? How is that even possible, a cute and nice girl like you? And I mean not that I mind but why did you come to me? I mean Robin, or your friend you told us about?” he says

I decide to ignore his first statement and go on “Well... you seem to know Eddie the best, and well. What's he like? I mean what does he like to do? On dates...”

“I have no idea, I haven't ever heard Eddie say he's been on a date so... But I mean something about you seems to have caught his interest so just keep talking about what ever you talked about last night I'd say. As for him like a person, well he's super kind to everyone, he's one of those people who cares deeply if he likes you. And he can be funny as hell or just the most obnoxious freak you'll ever meet. And a total nerd”

“I was so nervous last night I was just rambling on about everything... But ok, so I have one more question and this one is more serious please don't laugh at me” I say and I can feel tears threatening in my eyes “what about...physically? Is he...pushy? I have...intimacy issues” I say and a tear trickles down my cheek

“Eddie? Pushy? You mean...oh... hell no. I mean dude's not a virgin but he's probably the least pushy person you'll ever meet. He's flirty but I've never seen him be handsy with anyone unless they ask him to be, he's like a total gentleman. Don't tell him I said that about him” he chuckles and I have to smile

“Good...I was worried” I admit

“Don't be, however...he's one of those people who can drag anything out of you so be prepared to talk about whatever it is Kat. He's a real good guy though and I know he really likes you. He wouldn't shut up about you last night. He drove us home, spent an hour listening to him obsess over you before I could head in to bed” Steve smirks

“He...talked about me? What'd he say?” I'm curious now

“Prettiest girl he'd ever seen, a smile to die for, nerd like him, and the books... god I never wanna talk about books ever again” Steve sighs and I blush all over

“He really IS a freak” I mumble

“He is, but he's totally smitten by you. So if he hadn't asked you out on his own accord I would have done it for him” he says

“Ok, thank you Steve. This was helpful, I can't really ask Casey, she doesn't date. And other than that I only have my sister and that would have been a complete disaster asking her for advice. I like Robin a lot but she, well she's not that helpful with guys I think” I smile

“Your friend who wants to meet Robin doesn't date?” he looks confused

“Yeah, I'm hoping Robin will change her approach to dating actually. Or I will have to stop anything from happening... Casey is a serial hook up girl not a dating girl... I love her but she needs to calm down” I tell him “and I don't want her to hurt Robin. I would never forgive myself”

“Robin's a big girl I think she can handle it. But your friend's coming here soon or?”

“Yeah, she'll be here on Saturday. She wants to meet you all, so I was thinking a small party at my place? I'll cook you guys bring the drinks?” I say and Steve lights up

“Absolutely! Perfect timing to, this is mine and Robins weekend off. I can safely say we'll be there! And unless you end up killing Munson or he makes a complete ass of himself I bet he'll be there to” Steve beams “just pop in and tell us when”

“Will do, thanks again for this” I say and we get up and head out to Robin

“So you guys solve the meaning of life or did you fail?” Robin smiles at us

“We're getting there! Party at Kats on Saturday we're bringing drinks and she's bringing you a date” Steve says

“Woah... I bring booze and I get a date in return? Cool” Robin laughs

“I'll be by like Thursday after work to tell you what time to show up. Casey will most likely have told me when she's planning on showing up by then” I say and I hug them both good bye

“Sounds like a plan, see ya” Steve waves at me and I leave

“So what was that about?” Robin looks at Steve

“Munson asked her out...and she was worried he'd be handsy I guess. I assured her he's not that kind of guy. But I think she's been through some shit, you know she's never had a date ever?” Steve looks after the girl who just left

“Not once? Wow, I mean how...she's so sweet. Well good news he asked her, bad news...we're never hearing the end of it now” Robin smiles and they go on with their workday

As I head through town on my way home I decide to pop in to the supermarket and get some stuff for dinner. When I'm done and finally step in to the staircase of my building I can hear the phone ringing. I sigh, it's been 2 weeks I know exactly who's on the other end. I drag my feet not wanting to talk to Laura today. I want to remain happy, but I know she'll just call later again. I head inside and I put away the groceries I bought and I change in to some comfy clothes and then I take a deep breath and I pick up the phone and I call my sister

“Hello, this is Laura”

“Hey, it's me”

“Why didn't you answer earlier?”

“I heard the last few rings when I was heading up the stairs. I had groceries I had to put away before I could call you back” I say

“Well, you could have hurried up a bit. Wasting my time calling if you weren't gonna answer anyway”

“Well... If that's the case we can just hang up. I mean If calling me is wasting your time Laura I bet actually talking to me is even more so?”

“Well someone's gotta keep track of you. I bet mum hasn't called you?”

“She has, I had a quick talk to her Sunday, she knows I'm good. Did you actually want something?” I'm getting fed up with this

“Well I wanted to hear if my sister is doing ok, I mean hello”

“Laura, you don't care. What did you REALLY want to talk about?” I sigh

“Make any friends yet?” there it is, the sarcastic snappish tone

“What's it to you anyway Laura? Wouldn't you be happier if I was just alone all the time? That would make your opinions about me true...”

“Woah, who's pissed you off today? I was just asking”

“Yeah, you ask...every 2 weeks you JUST ASK. And do you ever expect a different answer than the one you always get? Would you actually listen if I told you anything other than no? We both know you wouldn't, because you don't want to hear it. It would upset your world view Laura. You know what? I don't have time for you. We'll talk in 2 weeks unless you by some miracle finally understand I have no interest listening to you being rude to me for 15 minutes. So to wrap things up, you pissed me off today. Just by calling”

“Bitch! You on your fucking period or what? Damn, that attitude will not help you! By the way, I would SO listen to you if you told me you made friends. Mostly so that I could burst that delusional bubble of yours. I don't think I wanna call you in 2 weeks, not if this is the thanks I get for caring how you're doing. You'll miss me though, and I might consider answering when you call to apologize” she snarls at me

“Don’t hold your breath! See you at Christmas then” I say and I slam the receiver down, I'm furious. Who's she to call me a bitch? I'm so angry I burst in to tears, sitting on the floor sobbing. This is when I hear a knock at the door, a quite timid knock. Like someone's been listening to me getting angrier and angrier on the phone. I drag myself off the floor and go up to the door opening it just to find a worried Eddie standing there.

“You ok?” and I break down completely. The kindness in his voice and the warmth in those eyes gets to me, I cry like I haven't done since after the party when Casey came and picked me up.

Eddies pov

I can't stay away from her, I know I just saw her today but my feet took me here on their own. I take the stairs in just a few steps, that's when I hear her through the door. She's getting increasingly annoyed with someone on the phone. Should I knock and interrupt the conversation? No I'll just wait maybe it calms down. It doesn't soon enough there is actual anger in her voice. The last thing before she slams the phone down is a “See you at Christmas then” I wonder who's on the receiving end of that... Oh my fucking god, she's crying now. My heart sinks, I feels so bad for her.

I place a couple of careful knocks on her front door then I wait. It takes a few seconds and then the door opens and I see her, as beautiful as ever with cheeks wet from tears. I try my best not to let my worries show and I ask her if she's ok. She breaks down in to a state of crying I don't think I've ever seen anyone in before. It's probably close to what they told me Henderson looked like when he thought I died back in 86. I know she's not comfortable with touch, I figured that last night but I feel I need to anyway. I sit down on the floor next to her and I wrap my arms around her, humming to her quietly

Back to Kat

He's on the floor with me? Why would he get down on the floor? I can't move, there's an ache inside of me that needs to get out. So I cry, I cry my fucking guts out and all this guy does is wrap his arms around me and starts humming to me. Just a kind gesture but to me, it turns my whole world upside down. No one's ever shown me this kind of compassion before, not even Casey. This makes me cry even more, I grab him and I hold on tight as I let out all the pent up feelings I've been carrying around with me for ever.

“There, there sweetheart. I'm here for you. I'm going to lift you up from the floor now and carry you to your bed, ok? Then if you want me to keep holding you just, you know reach for me or something. You don't have to talk, and if you don't want me to stick around push me away or something.” he says letting me go momentarily and getting up from the floor. I feel a pair of strong arms swoop me of the floor and carry me through my apartment. He puts me down on the bed carefully and I wont let go, I can't let go. “Ok sweetheart, I'm right here. Don't worry” he whispers as he lies down next to me and once again wraps his arms around me.

I have no idea how long I've been crying for but it's getting darker when I finally feel calm enough to try talking.

“Eddie... I'm sorry” I mumble

“Sorry? For what? Whatever triggered this was in my humble opinion a good thing. This, right here needed to get out” he says in a soft voice “don't you apologize for letting the hurt go”

“But you came to visit and instead of finding the usual me you find this mess of a human” I sniffle

“Hey, I don't mind the mess. She's just as pretty. And apparently you needed me or you would have told me to go. So I stayed”

“You're perfect aren't you” I whisper

“Me? Not even close, but thank you. Maybe I'm perfect for you” he whispers back “You feeling better now?” he hugs me a little tighter

“Yeah, I think I do. I haven't cried that bad in about 3,5 years” I say

“Well overdue on the tears then” he says not bugging me to talk but I can't stop myself. Before I know it I'm telling him about Laura, all the years of bullying from my own sister. How mum never wanted to acknowledge it. About becoming more and more of a wallflower and then never hearing the end of it from my own sister, how she's pestering me about making friends, how I need to find a guy before I dry up. All the stuff I've had pent up inside for years and years. Eddie's just there listening to the flow of words and tears. Then without even thinking about it, feeling so comfortable with him I hear myself saying

“And this whole 'you need to lose your virginity crap' I can't fucking tell her it's too late. That I was used by the only guy I ever liked in school, he fucked me but wouldn't touch me in any other way because I was a fat, ugly loser. I can't explain to her what it's like to hear you were a bet that he wanted to win, that fucking me was just another way to humiliate me, and then for him to just laugh and leave me on a bed in a strange house. How this alongside all the shit she put me through makes me think everyone will end up being mean to me so I shy away instead of talking to people. That that's what's become of me in great part because of her... I could tell her but she won't care and that's what's pissing me off the most. She just DOESN'T CARE” the tears start streaming down my face again as I tell Eddie about the thing I never ever talk about. I can hear him draw a deep staggering breath

“Jesus sweetheart, I'm so sorry. No wonder you reacted the way you did to my awful jokes last time. I wouldn't have guessed in a million years it would be that bad. You don't talk about this I take it?” his voice is soft and I hear the underlying sadness

“No I don't, I told Casey when it happened but then I wouldn't bring it up again. I've talked to my therapist but that's about it. I have no idea why you had to be the one to hear about this, I'm sorry”

“Hey, no... Don't say that. I'm so beyond grateful that you chose to confide in me, I did tell you I'm a great listener. But... how are you feeling about that these days? I mean I get that it was life changing and I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would do something like that to another person. But like, do you think you'll ever feel that need for intimacy or...like... Fuck I don't know how to ask what I wanna know”

I look up at him, the nervousness I felt around him all last night is gone. I just feel so comfortable. “Just ask... I mean I will tell you if I don't want to answer” I say

“Ok...well... Do you think you'll ever want someone...the way...” he sighs “the way I want you?” he looks at me with a tentative smile

“My therapist told me that some day I might meet someone that would help me heal, help me realise that not everyone I meet is going to be mean to me. I didn't really believe her, but I see now she was right. I met you Eddie, you don't seem to have a mean bone in your body. As for the thing you asked...yes...there is a very good chance I'll want someone...” I blush I've never said anything like that to anyone in my life, and here I am saying it to this perfect human sitting in my bed holding me making me feel safe.

“Oh... good. I hope that someone is worthy then, or they'll have to answer to me” he gives me a half smile “and thank you for letting me help you heal, if that was what you meant”

“Eddie” I smile at him “I meant that there is a good chance I want you too, like a lot...just I need to go slow” the smile on his face could light up the darkest of rooms “but hey, you said that you wanted to kiss me some day... could this be that day?” I feel brave...and terrified at the same time

“You...want me to kiss you? Now?”

“Yes...” the answer is no more than a whisper

He sits up next to me and he turns to me, looking me deep in the eyes. His hands move slowly up to my face, tracing my jawline with his fingers. His hands softly grab my face and holds it as he lowers his face towards mine. I think I stop breathing, there's only me and him and the fact that his mesmerizing eyes are locked in to mine. He stops just before his lips meet mine “Sweetheart, you need to breathe. Are you sure about this? Please tell me if you want to stop”

I stare at his lips so close to mine and a whimper escapes my lips. He tenses and looks at me worried

“No, no it wasn't a bad sound...it was just...what if I suck at this?” I whisper and he relaxes and gives me a smile that eases any nerves I have

“I don't think that's possible” he whispers and his lips finally meet mine. I hear myself let out a small moan in to his lips and I feel him smile. The kiss is soft and careful, it's not scary at all it's just amazing. It goes on forever and I let it, I never want to stop kissing him. But he pulls away with a groan “Fuck Kat, this is soooo good. But I need to stop now or I might do something you're not ready for. I'd rather you set the pace for any more stuff happening. But...just so you know, I want you. Like in every way”

“Eddie...just wow... So that's kissing then” I giggle and I get this amazed look back

“What? Wait a god damn minute, was this...your first kiss?”

“Yeah...it was” I mumble kind of ashamed I didn't tell him before

“Oh my god, was it good though? I mean... I didn't come on to strong?” wow this guy is considerate on a whole new level

“Good? Eddie...it was perfection. I don't think there's ever been a more perfect first kiss, not even in the movies or in any of the books in this place and trust me there are hundreds if not thousands of kisses on these pages” I ramble on making a sweeping gesture at the books lining my walls

“Awww shush, making me blush here” he mumbles smiling at me

“Eddie... I didn't have much of a choice having to wait for my first kiss to happen, no-one's ever been interested in kissing me. But let me tell you I'm so insanely happy I had to wait, because now I got to experience this with you. I'm not one to be impulsive or do things on a whim, don't think I'll ever be. So this was just right, just perfect.” I try to explain what I'm thinking but I realise my brain is taking long ways around something that's just obvious “What I'm trying to say is I want you to Eddie...in every way. Maybe not tonight, that's a bit too fast, but this was a good start”

The smile I get back isn't something one can put words on, it's just...like in my books. He looks at me and leans in, pressing his lips to mine once again. Giving me a deep kiss that I can feel in my core

“I will do my very best to be the guy you need, and trust me I would never hurt you or be mean to you. I don't believe in behaviour like that, life is too damn precious to act like an ass to people.” he says leaning his forehead against mine

“Eddie...”

“Yeah?”

“I'm sorry for putting all of this on you in one go. But what did you actually want when you came here tonight? I didn't ask” I say

He chuckles “I wanted to see you, I couldn't get you out of my mind. So I thought I'd come here and maybe get to talk to you, and I was curious about that thing you said you had for me. This was just icing on the cake sweetheart, and I don't mind you telling me all of this. I'll try to help you heal as best I can” he kisses my forehead and I smile

“Aww, you wanted to see me? Twice in one day, how lucky am I?” I smile

“Sweetheart, I'd wanna see you every minute of the day if it was up to me. Somehow from the second I laid eyes on you I was caught, might be because you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen as well as the most interesting one”

“Stop flattering me like this...making me flustered” I giggle

“Hey, I only tell the truth here girlie, deal with it” he smirks

“Oh ok then, keep going” I can't deny liking him SO much already.

“Oh I will, don't you worry about that. I'll keep flattering you from now until you get sick of me. But seriously though...what did you have for me” he looks like a kid on Christmas waiting for Santa to come bearing gifts

“Oh yeah, right. Come” I say and I take his hand getting off the bed. We go out in to the living room and I tell him to sit down on the couch while I get what I was talking about. I go to one of the cupboards in the hallway and I rummage through the boxes stacked in there. All neatly labelled, I get out 3 big notebooks and I bring them over to Eddie. “Here I think you might like these, you can have them if you want” he looks puzzled as he takes the notebooks from me. He opens one and starts reading the text, his eyes open wide and he stares at me

“These are campaigns... Like really well written amazing campaigns. Where'd you get these?” he asks

“I....wrote them” I blush

“You made these? Like for real? Woooow...they're better than anything I've ever written, hey did you say I could HAVE them? Did you mean borrow them?” he's talking and reading at the same time

“No, I meant have them. I have no need for them, I just made them up over the years. Some of this is like therapy, I must admit quite a few of the monsters you'll encounter are meant to be Laura” I giggle “since apparently killing your sister is illegal... I had to get some other outlet at times”

He looks up at me and bursts out laughing “You're killing me here, so if I get the gang to kill these monsters I'll be helping you out. Cool, but ok I'll accept these on one condition”

I look at him, what does he want from me?

“I want you to join me at one of Hellfires game nights ok? You won't have to talk to any of the others unless you want to. But I want you to be there for at least one of these campaigns of yours, so you can be there for the kill” he smiles

“Hellfire?” I say

“Yeah Hellfire Club, it was originally the DnD club at high school but those of us who graduated but linger on here in Hawkins we didn't want to leave the club so it became a mix of high school kids and us 'grown ups' lucky for me they still wanted me to be dungeon master.” he says and I smile at his excitement

“Can I join the campaign to? Or just watch?” I ask and he smiles widely at me

“You know how to play?”

“Well... I've never played for real seeing as I don't have friends... But all the books you saw in there and then some have taught me the basic understanding of the game. See...if you didn't know what an eidetic memory is... I remember everything, everything I see everything I read. I can tell you every word in those notebooks without reading from the pages. I just... I would like to know what its like to actually play”

“Sweetheart, we'd be happy to have you! Tell you what, you come with me Thursday night to watch us play, and meet the guys. Then next week we'll use on of your campaigns and you can join us. Sound ok?” he says

“Are they...nice? Your friends?” I ask

“Yeah, intense little nerds some of them but over all very nice guys. There's me, Mike, Dustin, Lucas, Erica, Will, Joe and Gareth” he says

“Aaaah the guy who idolises Tom Cruise much to Robins dismay” I say and Eddie stares at me

“What?” he chuckles

“Yeah, I have to tell you something kinda embarrassing. I went to see Steve today after work. I was so freaked out you asked me to go out with  you and I've never had a date so I didn't know how to act. Thought I'd ask him what you liked so I didn't make a fool of myself, I overheard Robin arguing with Gareth about Tom Cruise not being God” I give him an apologetic smile

“You went to Harrington to ask what he thought I'd like on a date? Why him?” he laughs

“Well, Casey isn't much of a help seeing as she doesn't date either...she just has hook ups. Robin, well she's on Caseys team so not much help with dating guys and well that left me with Steve, thought he might be able to help seeing he's a friend of yours. He did assure me you weren't mean or overly handsy. And he raised you to the high heavens, you have a real good friend there Eddie” I smile at him

“Wow, he did that? Cool, well yeah I mean we haven't been friends that long. We'd never even spoken before the thing...but after that shit we've been close. Him, me and Robin. They're family now since my uncle moved away” he says

“The thing? This is the second time you've eluded to something that seems to have had a real impact on your lives...would you tell me?” I ask “ I mean I did let you borrow anything from my bedroom, wasn't that the deal? I'd let you do that and you'd come over and tell me?” I say with a smile

“Fuck, you remembered that did you” he smirks “Ok...but let me just say that I KNOW what it sounds like. But we were all in this and we'll tell you the same story so don't think we made this shit up. It's so beyond something one would make up to... I don't know impress people? Scare people...” he sighs and I become even more curious “it's like taken from a book but it's not...we lived through this”

I cuddle up beside him on the couch and I listen as he begins to tell me a story so unbelievable it really has to be true. Government plots, gifted children, monsters, underground labs, Russians, more monsters, disappearances, deaths, a world beyond our own, Vecna and ultimately the destruction of Hawkins and the apparent death of Eddie. By the time he stops talking my head is spinning, I try to make sense of it all. Trying to see if there is a possible spin on this that makes it... I don't know, a collective dream they all had.

“Eddie... I don't know what to say...or believe for that matter. You say you died...yet I mean you don't feel dead to me” I say and I put my hand on his chest

“I was for a moment, woke up though. But by then Henderson had left me, I mean no shade on him he thought I died for real so what was he to do? He couldn't carry me and get away so he had to leave me there.” Eddie says

“I get that part... I just don't... Bats Eddie? Bats aren't...that vicious” I say and he gives me a reluctant smile

“Normal ones, no... These... well these fuckers are nowhere near normal bats. We called them demobats, but after what they did to me I'd just like to call them demons.” he growls

“But, you said they tore the flesh of you... You're sure they were bats?” I'm so stuck on this, bats...they don't do that

Eddie gets up from the couch “Ok so I'm going to do something now I haven't done even in front of the guys...” he takes a deep breath and he pulls his shirt off and stands there in front of me bare chested and absolutely gorgeous. When my mind has calmed it self from the pure shock of how good he looks I see them, the scars. Horrendous scars cover his upper body. I sit up straight and I motion to him to come closer, he attempts to put his shirt back on

“No...please” I whisper at him. He looks at me confused but he lets his shirt hang from his hand as he moves in to stand in front of the couch. I look at the scars, they're deep. All of a sudden I realize, it's all true. None of it is made up and whatever did this, bats or not. It did take chunks of his flesh, it's a miracle he didn't bleed to death for real. I reach out and I gently caress his chest and all of the scarring.  Somehow, because they're a part of him I find them beautiful. I let my hand trace them all

“Please...Kat don't do that” he whispers

“Oh, sorry do they still hurt?” I snap out of whatever spell he has me under and I retract my hand

“No...just... Your touch, makes me feel things” he blushes and this is when I notice an apparent, well reaction. I turn beetroot red in the face and I don't know where to look

“Fuck...sorry” I manage to get out

“Don't be sorry, I mean if anything it's a compliment” he says and puts his shirt back on and sits down. I can't look at him my entire mind and body are in an uproar. My mind just wants me to shut down and hide so that I won't get hurt again but my body it aches to touch him again, and again until he's a whimpering mess in my hands...oh wow where'd that come from? I blush again “hey, may I ask where your mind wandered of to now? I said nothing and did nothing yet you're blushing” he smiles “you know you can talk to me”

“I...know. I just don't know what to say, or how to even start. There's a lot happening in my mind at the moment” I say in a hushed voice

“Well, can I ask you questions then? Maybe get the ball rolling? I don't mean to be so blunt but I want you, like obviously. And I kinda wanna know if there is a chance...some day” he mumbles smiling at me. I nod, vigorously “Ok, I assume that guy was your first?” I nod “ok honey I kinda need you to talk to me, it'll feel better after” he says

“Yes he was my fist, and my only” I croak

“Ok, so no one else after that? When was it did you say? Your senior year? That would be like 3,5/4 years ago then?”

“Yeah, almost 4. It was at the beginning of the year”

“So, you haven't met anyone else that made you feel....stuff since then? I mean I would assume you felt something if you agreed to let him, you know”

I want to hide under the couch “No one, until now” I whisper, I can't even look up “I mean I'd had a crush on him for years but that part of it wasn't that strong. I was just happy to be noticed, I wasn't ready. I did it...anyway” I hate admitting this

“Hey, my first time wasn't planned or even that good, it was a real disaster. Granted I wasn't ridiculed afterward. But trust me I wasn't ready either. I think very few people are, it just kinda happens. But I mean the stuff he put you through was fucking abysmal. Fucking lowlife piece of shit” he mutters to himself

“You said you want me...” I muffle the sound of the question in to a pillow that's how embarrassing I find this

“Yeah, I do... I mean I think you noticed” he's blushing again “do you...? Uhm want me?” his eyes seem to be burning from the inside as he gazes over at me

I take a deep breath “yeah I do, it scares me, but I do” I breath out as I say the words. Eddies face lights up and he reaches for my hand

“I promise you that when you feel ready for anything I'm here, I am SO here for you. Please come to me if...you know” he says. I nod my head so hard it feels like it might fall off. “Words sweetheart” he chuckles

“Yeah, promise” it's more of a sound than a word

“Good, now I'm going to kiss you...a lot!” he smiles at me and I nod again getting a stern look in return

“Ok, please do” I say as he leans in

“Good girl” he purrs and I don't know what to do with myself. He kisses me deeply, not touching anything but my face. I want him to touch every inch of me but I can't for the life of me form those words. They're scaring me senseless, but holy hell I want him. We kiss for what seems like hours and I'm feeling a happiness inside I've never felt before.

“Eddie” I whisper as our lips finally part

“Yeah sweetheart?”

“You're like REALLY good at this” I smile

“Geez thank you. But guess what, you're pretty much a fucking rock star at this yourself” he winks at me “but...it's close to midnight again...I need to get home. Early start tomorrow at work” he smiles at me and I look stunned

“Midnight? Wow...crying and kissing sure makes time fly” I giggle and Eddie laughs and kisses me on the head

“Sure does, with the right company. I'm going to try and keep away tomorrow night so that we can both get some sleep. But I'll be here to pick you up at 6:15 on Thursday for Hellfire. Ok?”

“Yes, that works. Should I bring anything?” I ask

“Well...snacks are always welcome” he smiles at me and winks

“Got it” I say and smile back. I follow him to the door and we kiss for a couple of more minutes until he drags himself away from me, sighs and heads down the stairs. I watch him go and then I slowly close the door feeling like this might have been a dream? I mean real life can't be this good, can it? Or good, I cried for hours...told him about my horrible past. He told me about his. But then the kissing...oh wow the kissing! I go to sleep, yet again with a smile on my face. I wake up earlier the next morning so I get up and head straight for the phone

“Hello?”

“Hey Casey, good morning”

“Morning, I don't have long. Maybe like 10 minutes, what's up buttercup?”

“So...interesting night”

“Oh? Do tell”

“Well it began with Laura calling, you know...right on the 2 week mark”

“Of course” I can practically hear Casey rolling her eyes

“Yelled at her...slammed the phone down. Started crying my eyes out”

“Oh Kat, I'm so sorry...but good for you yelling at her”

“Yeah...there's more”

“MORE? That wasn't enough for one night?”

“Knock on the door...guess who”

“Ooh the cutie patootie?”

“Yup the one and only, so I think I cried in his arms for 3 hours...then...” dramatic pause for effect of course “we kissed for another 2 hours”

All I hear on the other end is Caseys breathing “come again?”

“I think you heard me...just let it sink in” I say with a smile

“You...and he...on the lips?”

“Where else? Oh you know what don't answer that”

“No but like... YOU kissed a guy...not just once but for HOURS? I...I have to sit down”

“Well... I though you wanted to know. Didn't think it would break you” I giggle

“I... well fuck me I'm as proud as a mama. Was it good? I know you don't have anything to compare to but like...was there a tingle?”

“It was, I don't have enough words in my vocabulary to describe what that was like.”

“Sweetie, I love you and I'm saying this as your best friend. You need to go get him! And I know you know what I mean. Just don't overthink like you always do just...rip his clothes off and make him your bitch”

“Well...the though crossed my mind. If it hadn't been for my own words of wanting to go slow I might have, it looked...impressive”

“IT LOOKED...the fuck are you telling me? You saw it?” Caseys voice goes so high pitched I don't even think dogs can hear her any more

“Not...like in the flesh. But it was...prominent in his pants” I say

“Like... I'm going to have to take a Valium or something, this is killing me. And now I have to go to work... Ok so tonight there's oral? What the fuck”

“Tonight is alone time. But I'm meeting some of his other friends tomorrow night. And then there's the date on Friday and then you and I are having a party here on Saturday”

“My mind is so full right now I can't understand a thing you're saying. We'll talk tonight yeah?”

“Yeah, call me when you have the time. Love ya”

“Love ya to”

I smile as I put the phone down, I know there's going to be about an hour and then she's processed it all and she will call me. I take a shower and I get ready for the day. I make tea and some sandwiches and I wait. 1 hour and 15 minutes later the phone rings

“Hey”

“Ok, so I totally forgot to tell you how happy I am for you”

“I knew that without you calling Casey, but thank you”

“But like for real go get some. It's better than you think”

“How would you know? Have you ever been with a guy?”

“Nah, but I mean if he makes you come...that's the same!” she chuckles and hangs up and I shake my head smiling. But I guess she is right, I mean that part of sex is the same whether it's a guy or a girl making you come. The thought of Eddie making me come sends shivers down my spine all gathering at one spot between my legs. I press my thighs together and I moan. God, I do want him.

I head to the store and the day passes without any problems. I stop by and say hi to Robin and Steve as I head home. I don't tell them about me and Eddie, I wanna see where the date takes us first. We talk about Saturday and make some plans about drinks and food. I head home and I wait for Casey to call again. When she does an intense hour of dissecting every minute of my night with Eddie commences. She agrees, with herself, that we were meant to be. I laugh at her, it's strange hearing her this...romantically inclined. She's usually not one for soulmates, feelings, meant to be and all that stuff. If I'm a romance novel she's...an instruction manual for a typewriter. I can't keep from hoping this is her changing a bit herself as well. I would hate it if she hurt Robins feelings by being, well her usual cynical self. We hang up and I make a cup of tea and I turn on the TV for a while, but I can't concentrate my mind is on Eddie the whole time. The phone rings, I look at the time. It's 9, who the hell calls me at 9 in the evening?

“Hello?”

“I know I said I would leave you alone tonight but I just needed to hear your voice” I hear Eddie say

“Oh, hi...I was thinking about you”

“Yeah? Good thoughts I hope”

“Very good” I smile

“Oh...damn” he gasps

“See you tomorrow Eddie. Sweet dreams” I say and I hang up

Eddies pov

Very good thoughts about me? Wow, I hope I didn't read to much in to that. But it didn't seem like it on her voice as she told me sweet dreams? Eddie is smiling to himself, then he becomes serious. He feels like a fucking creep, standing here at a pay phone looking up at her window hoping to see her. He couldn't bring himself to go up there unannounced one more night, so he opted for this. He stands there looking at her windows actually fucking MISSING her. What was this? Sure, he's had crushes before, Chrissy was probably the biggest. But well, that died. Quite literally... But this, this is something else all together. He'd even told Wayne about Kat when he called him tonight. He was pleased, but also surprised at how fast Eddie's feelings caught on.

“Hey son, I know you don't believe in it but this sounds like soulmates if you ask me” Wayne had said to him, no Eddie usually didn't believe in that stuff. And as far as he knew neither did Wayne, but here he was putting words on Eddies exact thoughts. There was something about this girl, it felt like he'd been waiting for her for ever. He looked up again, there she was! He could see her in the window as she turned the TV off, probably getting ready for bed. God she's beautiful! He'd never thought of himself as having a type, but she showed him that his type is most obviously a chubby, brown haired nerd who reads a lot and has glasses and deliciously thick thighs and a big soft ass. Fuck he wants to be buried between those thighs... Aaaand now he feels like even more of a creep feeling his dick harden in his pants. GO HOME MUNSON! He thinks to himself as he watches her turn of the lights and head to bed. He strolls of to his van and he goes home to the trailer he lives in now. The trailer park was relocated after the incident in 86. Some of the old trailers survived, some didn't. His and Wayne's being one of the ones that didn't. But the city bought new ones and put up for those who lost their homes, bought them all new stuff to. Wayne lost his job as the factory was right in the middle of one of the cracks so it was demolished. He got a new job on the other side of the state so he left Eddie the trailer and he moved. This new trailer is fancier than the last one, not as run down. But it's still a trailer, what does he have to offer Kat? She apparently has no issues with money, that place is fucking mind blowing. He thinks about how different their lives are as he settles in for the night. He decides he doesn't fucking care, he's falling in love with this weird, wonderful woman. He falls asleep and he dreams of Kat, dreams of her lying naked in his bed, those awesome thighs spread open for him. Beckoning him to enter her wet pussy. He wakes up hard as a rock and so close to coming that the mere touch of him trying to move his dick in his boxers sends him over the edge and he has to get up and change. Fuck he hasn't had an actual wet dream sine high school, what's this girl doing to him?

Back to Kat

It's Thursday, I'm going to see Eddie today! I stretch and I yawn loudly. This is going to be a good day! I can feel it, the store closes 1 hour earlier on Thursdays due to Stella having some things to do Thursday afternoons. So the whole town is used to that, I'm not going to change it. I have things to do myself today. I'm going to make cookies for Hellfire tonight and maybe I'll make some Rocky Road bars, I mean why buy snacks if you can make them?

I'm giddy all day at the thought of seeing Eddie, what is this spell he has me under? I don't even think that if Laura showed up here today she'd be able to break my good mood. I have a great big smile to give to anyone stopping by today, some have been in earlier in the week and they say I look different somehow. Asking if I changed my hair or my glasses or something, they just “can't put their finger on it” I just wanna look a them an go... Well kissing the hottest man alive for hours will do this to you! As I close up and go to get the things I need for baking I run in to Robin at the grocery store.

“Hey Kat, what's up. Doing anything special tonight or just hyping yourself up for the big date tomorrow? He hasn't shut up about it, been calling me and Steve relentlessly asking us if we think this or that...PLEASE put us out of our misery and agree to a second date even if this one sucks” she sighs

“Hello to you too, well... I am hanging out with him tonight also so I guess technically tomorrow IS the second date? Although tonight we won't be alone”

“Tonight? But Thursdays are Hellfire night, how the hell did you swing that?”

“He's bringing me...” I say

“He's bringing you? To a Hellfire game? Wow you really are special to him. I mean not even Steve's been invited, he threw a fit when Dustin brought him once. Oh by the way...”

“You want me to tell Gareth that Tom Cruise STILL isn't God?” I chuckle

“Actually...yes” she laughs “how'd you know?”

“When I came in the other day to talk to Steve I overheard you... I mean I couldn't agree more, I think he's completely overrated”

“I KNOW right? I'm glad I won't be alone trying to make him understand any more, getting fucking exhausting” she smiles “well I gotta hurry and get what I came for before Steve gets pissed at me thinking I ran out on him. But good luck with the nerds then... Hey by the way what time Saturday?”

“Oh, come over around 7. I think Casey was going to try and get here around 4 but I wanna have her to myself a bit first” I smile

“Oh I get that! But ok we'll be there by 7, you wanna tell Eddie or should we?”

“I think it might come up, I'll tell him myself, but thanks. See you Saturday then”

“Yeah see you then, looking forward to it!” she says, gives me a hug and runs to pay for her things

I stroll around and get what I need for baking then I head home and get going on the snacks. I finish just in time to put it all in bags and change my outfit before there's a knock on the door. I open and there he is in all his glory. Looking amazing in black jeans, a shirt with a design that says “Hellfire Club” and his leather jacket. He beams at me

“Hey there pretty lady, ready to be a full blown nerd for the night?” he hands me a shirt just like the one he's wearing “the uniform, it's mandatory” he smiles at me

I giggle and I pull the shirt I have on over my head

“Are you trying to kill me?” I hear Eddie say

“What?” I'm confused then I realize I'm apparently so comfortable with him I didn't even think about the fact that I'm now only wearing jeans and my bra... “Oh...fuck...sorry” I say and I quickly pull the Hellfire shirt over my head to cover myself up

“Nah, I mean I wouldn't mind having you dressed like that all the time...just maybe not in a room full of other guys” Eddie smiles at me and I blush “what you're hot, didn't I tell you” he winks at me

“Hey, don't exaggerate” I say as I put my shoes on and get the bag with the cookies and the rocky road bars I made earlier.

“Hey, I'm not! You can't tell me what I can or can not think, you're not the boss of me” he pouts

“Ok, ok...fiiine. Thank you Eddie! You're looking like quite the snack yourself” I smile at him

“I look like a snack? You wanna have a bite later on then?” he pulls me in and gives me a kiss so good I lose my breath for a second

“Wow” I say as he lets me go

“Well thanks, don't think I've ever gotten a 'wow' from kissing before. Makes me feel a bit cocky” he smirks

“Well... I'm easily impressed” I make a face at him and he starts laughing

“You must be, but hey good for me. Means I get to kiss you again and again” he takes my hand and we head out to his van. As he turns the ignition the stereo starts playing loudly “fuck sorry, I forgot to turn it down before going in to get you” he says

“It's ok, I mean you can't really go wrong with Metallica. Master of Puppets is a masterpiece” I say and he stares at me

“You...know Metallica?” he says

“Yeah? Shouldn't I?” I say

“I mean no offence but you look to be as far away from Metallica as it's possible to get” he chuckles “but yeah, Master of Puppets holds a special place in my heart”

“I'm not gonna ask what you think I look like I listen to” I giggle “I'm sure that's more offensive than you not thinking I look like I listen to Metallica”

“Might be true” he smiles “well...are you ready? We're almost at Mike's. It's his turn to host Hellfire tonight” we turn in to this really neat looking neighbourhood.

“I don't think I'll ever be ready to meet new people but if you say they're nice I'll give it my best. And I did bring bribes” I say and I hold up the bag

“Yeah? What did you buy?” he looks at the bag

“Buy? Hell no, to bribe successfully you need to pull out all the stops. I made cookies and rocky road bars” I say

“You what? You MADE snacks? You do realize if you spoil these guys like that you're never getting out of this even if you want to?” he says as we stop outside one of the houses

“Spoil them? You sure it's not the dungeon master I need to worry about spoiling?” I say

“He looooves to be spoiled, but he wants more than snacks” he says and he leans over and gives me a kiss “so lets go then beautiful. Time to get your nerd on”

“He might get more than snacks if he's good” I mumble and he looks over at me

“What did you say” his voice is like a low growl and he pulls me in close “don't tease me like that, and for the record I'm always good” he purrs and I feel my legs wobble

“Good to know” I say in low voice not really sure what it is I'm meaning by it. All I know is that this guy has me thinking things I haven't thought in years. He takes my hand and we go up to the house and ring the doorbell. A very pretty woman answers the door

“Oh hi Eddie, how are you?”

“Hey Mrs Wheeler, I'm good. This is a new friend of mine, Kat. She just moved here from Seattle, thought she needed to meet the guys” he smiles at her

“Eddie, my dear. I've told you, it's Karen. Hello Kat, say are you the girl I've been hearing so many nice things about? The one who's minding Stellas book store while she's away?” she smiles at me and I feel that familiar lump in my throat making me unable to speak, but I feel Eddies hand squeezing mine and he gives me a smile. The lump dissolves and I look back at Karen

“Yes, I am that girl. It's nice to meet you Karen” I say

“Lovely to meet you to, but come in. They're all in the basement as usual” she moves out of the way and we head inside. It's a lovely home, me being used to only apartments this is like a castle.

“I love your home Karen” I say looking around

“Oh thank you dear, that's sweet. Where do you live?”

“I live in the blue house on Main” I tell her and she lifts an eyebrow

“Wow, those apartments aren't...cheap” she looks at me with curiosity

“Yeah I've been told, but I compare it to apartments in Seattle and it's...not that bad” I say with a small smile

“Oh, well no I can imagine that’s true. Well have fun” she says and she heads back in to the living room. Eddie takes me by the hand again, whispering to me

“Good girl, see you can talk to people” I look at him

“I think your presence helps” I squeeze his hand and smile and he beams back at me

“Awww aren't you the cutest. Ok so behind this door is nerd headquarters tonight. You sure you're ready for this?”

“Nope, but I'll follow you anywhere” I say as he opens the door and heads down the stairs

“My nerds and nerdettes your dungeon master has arrived!” he booms and I hear a bunch of voices cheering. I stop at the top of the stairs feeling a bit panic-stricken. Can I do this? All new people again? But I have Eddie, I trust Eddie... “So I hope you don't mind but I brought a guest” there is a sudden silence

“A...guest? To Hellfire? Like, an actual other person?” I hear someone say

“Yeah, what of it?” Eddie smiles

“You had a fucking tantrum when I brought Steve around...and now you bring someone yourself?”

“Henderson, let me break it down for you. Steve doesn't know DnD, Steve doesn't play DnD. Hell Steve doesn't even LIKE DnD... Why the hell would I have him sit here with us?” I'm still at the top of the stairs thinking it might be best if I just stay here until this matter is settled. Eddie must have noticed me missing because within seconds I see his smiling face at the bottom of the stairs “Sweetheart, you rooted up there? They won't bite you...I don't think” he holds out his hand to me. I slowly make my way down the stairs, my stomach has a lump the size of a football in it. Every fibre in me wants to turn around but Eddies eyes drags me to him. I'm finally at the base of the stairs, standing right in front of Eddie. “Hey I know this is scary for you, and I promise if it's too much I'll just call a break and I'll take you home ok?” he whispers in my ear.

“Ok...” I whisper back. He steps aside and I am met by 7 sets of eyes all staring at me

“It's...a girl...” I hear some one say. Then the only girl in the company besides me sighs

“Well no shit Sherlock, we all see it's a girl. Your point being loser?” she turns to the guy next to her, by the looks of them they might be brother and sister.

“I just meant... Eddie with a girl?” he says “and I'm not a loser, get over it Erica”

“What ever loser! And even so, good thing Munson got himself a girl. Was beginning to think he's looking in to a future as a monk. Can we PLAY now?”

“Hey, hey, hey Sinclairs...both of you. Ease up a bit! We're gonna play don't worry. This is Kat, she just moved here from Seattle. She makes KICK ASS campaigns, thought I'd show her how Hellfire does things before I beg her permission to butcher her work” he chuckles, She's sitting in on this one and maybe she'll join next week if the vote is unanimous” Eddie says and motions to me to take a seat at the head of the table, next to what I assume is his place as DM.

“You write campaigns? Cool, so you play?” this guy whose voice I recognize as the one Eddie called Henderson asks me. I take a deep breath

“Yeah I write, been doing it for years. I'm a bit of a book nerd so I have quite a large collection of DnD books. Never had the opportunity to play though” I say and I feel Eddies hand on my thigh squeezing reassuringly

“Oh, cool! But why write campaigns if you don't play?”

“Uhm, well I liked the way of writing and the imagination needed to write it. So I thought I'd try and then one lead to another and soon I had a few notebooks filled.” I smile hesitantly

“So...you're this freaks girlfriend or what?” Erica asks what I can see they're all dying to ask

“Erica...c'mon. Not the time, please” Eddie looks at her

“Oh, not gotten that far yet. Well you're special to him if you're here so.” she says and focuses on making her brother miserable again

I'm special to Eddie? Because he brought me here? That's the second person to tell me that today. I smile to myself

“OH!” I say “which one of you is Gareth?” I look around and I hear Eddie chuckle. A curly haired guy looks all confused but raises his hand and looks at me “Robin wanted me to tell you that Tom Cruise is still not God” I say and everyone laughs, except Gareth

“Fucking Buckley, HE IS SO. Tell her that from me” he says but he says it with a smile

The game begins and I sit quietly beside Eddie as he narrates the campaign he made. He's talented I think to myself, he has the right kind of persona to be the dramatic DM. I'm having a really good time as the focus isn't on me at all. The second the first roll of the dice landed they all forgot about me. As I watch them play I can tell that what I've been reading is not even close to what actually playing is like. This is so much more exciting. About half way through the game Eddie calls for a break.

“Need a piss and a smoke. Then maybe snack time?” he says as he stands up

“Weren't you gonna bring snacks this time?” the guy I learned was Mike says

“I did, she's right here” Eddie says and gives me a side hug I blush “all jokes aside, she made snacks for us. It's...did you bring them?” He looks at me

“Oh, damn I forgot them in the car!” I say

“I'll get them when I have a smoke, be right back” he says winking at me before he heads up the stairs with Gareth and Joe.

“Soooo...charmed him completely I see” Dustin, which I learned is Hendersons first name, says to me with a big grin on his face

“Charmed who? Eddie?” I say confused

“Yeah Eddie, who else? I mean he never brings anyone to Hellfire nights. Took a lot for us to get him to even consider Erica. But you missy have him wrapped around your finger! Not saying it's bad I mean you go! He needs it after all the shit...” he says

“Oh, well...thank you I guess? He told me about the shit...he also told me you were the one who had to leave him there, in that place? How are you holding up?” I ask and he stares at me

“Ok, so...if he told you about that...you're it for him, no doubt. Also, me? I'm ok...some days, other days I'm a wreck. He's like my big brother and I had to watch him die you know. AND I had to leave him there. Fucking broke me” he looks so sad I do something I've never even done with Casey. I wrap my arms around him and I give him a hug

“He's lucky to have you as a little brother Dustin. Don't feel bad you had to leave him, he told me he holds no grudges about that. You had to or you'd be dead too. What do you say that both you and me try to put our collected shit behind us?” I look at him

“You have shit to?” he says and I see traces of tears on his cheeks

“You have no idea” I say “but I have Eddie now, to help me get through some of it. Also Robin and Steve. And maybe you?”

“Sure thing! Anything I can do, I like you. Question is, how much do you like me?”

“Wanna borrow my books” I laugh

“Caught me” he smirks

“Well Eddie has most of them held hostage now but as soon as he's done and gets another pile you can have the ones he's done with” I say and Dustin nods

“Sounds like a deal” he smiles

Eddie and the rest return and he hands me the bag of snacks I brought. I open the containers and place them on a table next to where they're sitting.

“Well, help yourselves I suppose” I say and they all dig in. The consensus is that from now on Eddie is ALWAYS on snack duty and that means I make the snacks. Unless I want to be part of the gang then I'M always on snack duty. I smile, these guys are so nice.

The rest of the night is fun, I get so in to the game I cheer when they do and I even get up and celebrate with them when they kill some monster. Eddie smiles at me and from time to time I feel his hand on my thigh and my mind goes haywire. I just wanna ask him to go higher but I'm to scared at the same time. But it feels so good having his big, warm hands on my leg. Even if it's just short moments at a time.

By the end of the night I am completely convinced I need to play next week, this was too much fun just watching! As they wrap up the night they decide that next weeks game is at Dustins house.

“Before we leave, we need to vote. Anyone against inviting Kat to play with us next time?” Eddie says, no one raises a hand. “Ok then, welcome to Hellfire” he smiles at me and shakes my hand

“Thank you Eddie the Banished, I will do my utmost to not let you down with my simple ways” I say as solemnly as I can

“Fair lady I don't think your ways are simple at all. But we do need to come up with a name for you... Everyone come up with a suggestion for next time and we'll have a vote” he says and everyone nods. We say our goodbyes and we leave. We talk about the night as Eddie drives me home, when we stop outside my house he says

“See, nerds aren't scary. You did so good sweetheart. So you did have fun then?” he takes my hand

“I had so much fun, I really liked Dustin. Or well I liked them all but I think I took a particular liking to him” I say

“Thought you might, he's a good kid” Eddie smiles “but I wanna do something now I've been dreaming of all night” me thinking it's something like smoking I'm taken aback completely when he grabs me and pulls me closer and kisses me deeply “fuuuuck been hell having you sit there next to me and have to narrate a campaign instead of making out with you” he breathes

“Again... wow” I say and he smiles

“I would so wanna come up with you and keep this up but it's sorta late and I have to be at work real early again tomorrow. But if you don't mind, I wanna do this ALL night after our date tomorrow”

“Mind? Why would I mind, hell this could BE the date and I wouldn't mind” I'm shocked I said that but I mean it so why not

“Oh, really? Maybe I'll change my plans then” he purrs

“Well if you have plans I'm not going to ruin them. We'll have time to more of this after...” I blush but he just smiles at me “See you tomorrow then Eddie” I say and I get out of the van

“I'll be here at 7 then” he smiles at me

“Perfect” I say and I close the door to the van and I go inside. I look at the time, it's 9:45. I should really go to bed but I just need to tell Casey how proud I am of myself. I go to the phone and I dial her number

“Hello?” her voice is sleepy, like she's just woken up

“Fuck did I wake you?”

“Nah, well you did but all good, I was asleep on the couch so thanks” she says “what's up since you're calling at this hour of the night”

“So I just wanna brag”

“Oh, go on”

“I just hung out with SEVEN new people all night, and Eddie”

“Wow...really? Sweetie I'm so fucking proud, and I'm more and more convinced that moving was the best thing you could have ever done in your entire life.”

“Yeah, beginning to realise that myself. Well, go to bed now and I'll do the same. Need my beauty sleep for the date tomorrow”

“Awww you don't need beauty sleep you just need regular sleep. Well dream dirty things about that guy of yours and then do it all tomorrow!” she chuckles

“Casey! I'm a good girl...” I try and she just laughs at me

“Katherine Jane Smith, I think you have some seriously naughty bones in your body. You just haven't used them...make sure you do that now that you found a good guy. Love ya and I'll see you Saturday, I don't wanna hear a beep from you tomorrow night, ok!?” she says

“Naughty bones” I laugh “well...I'll see if I can dig them out under all the dust they've been collecting over the years. Sleep tight see you Saturday”

We hang up and I get ready for bed. I fall asleep instantly and I dream about Eddie. I dream the kind of dreams that would make a pornstar blush. I wake up feeling that the wetness between my legs has spread down my thighs and on to the bed. I feel like I'm burning, wow so this is what really horny is like? Well...fuck me... I'm laying there panting for a bit trying to get my mind at ease. It's hard, it's filled with thoughts of Eddie...naked Eddie...fucking naked Eddie... Jesus! I didn't think I had this in me, I mean I know I dreamt dreams like these back then before that ass hat broke me. But after that it's like my brain shut that part off just to spare me. Apparently it thinks I'm back in business again, and what the hell maybe I am. I toss and I turn for a while before looking at the time. It's 5:30, I might as well get up and begin my day. Sleep doesn't seem to be happening any more tonight. I hit the shower and then I go to get some breakfast. I sit in front of the morning news on TV and I enjoy a lazy morning for once. Only downside is that when it comes time to get going I'm tired again. I make some strong coffee to take with me and I leave for the shop.

Fridays have been busy so far so I might be in for a hectic day. It's kinda slow until after lunch then people start to drop in more frequently. By the time I'm closing I'm beat. My mind is spinning I just wanna crawl in to bed and sleep until Monday. But no can do, I have a date in 3 hours! Yikes! I rush home not even stopping to wave at Robin or Steve as I pass the video store. I take another quick shower and then I find myself stranded in front of my closet, what the hell do I wear tonight? I don't even know what Eddie's been planning for us tonight. I look through all my clothes and I see this dress in the back of the closet, hanging behind everything else. I bought it last year to wear to Caseys for New Years, it was a bit fancy for jut her and me but I wanted to look nice for once. But then she got sick and I was stuck at home with mum. So it's never been worn. It's a black velvet, kinda fitted dress. I thought it was a bit snug back then but I have lost a little weight since, so maybe it will look decent? I put it on and I study my reflection. Well, yeah it looks good, I think... Not to tight anywhere, the boobs look good, the ass looks good. Yeah I could at least be an 7 out of 10. I take out a pair of black heels and a fancy bag. I put on my good jewellery and then I even put on some make up. I check the mirror again when I'm done and I hardly recognize the girl looking back at me. I look at the time, it's 6... I have a whole hour to kill before Eddie gets here. I decide to continue reading the book I bought at work today. I love Stephen Kings books but I hadn't had the chance to read Misery and when I saw it today as I started reorganizing the horror section I just needed to add it to my own collection. It's just like any other King book, captivating from the start. All of a sudden I hear a knock on the door and I look up at the clock on the wall. It's 5 to 7! Well here goes nothing then.

I get up and I head to the door and I open it, Eddie's standing outside smiling. When he sees me his smiles dies and I feel like I wanna die, I look that bad?

“What's wrong?” I say in a timid voice

“Wrong? Nothing's wrong, jut...fuck you look so unbelievably good and here I am looking like this” he motions at himself. He looks amazing, black jeans and a dark forest green shirt.

“But you look amazing Eddie” I say and he smiles at me again pulling me in to his arms, he kisses me softly.

“Thank you babe, but if anyone looks amazing tonight it's you. Like, how am I going to keep my hands off you when you look this hot?” he kisses the side of my face, down my jawline and continues down my neck “this ok?” he whispers

“Uuhuu...yeah...sure is” I say as I can't seem to form a sentence to even begin to tell him how good this makes me feel.

“Well good then, I'll keep doing it” he says and his kisses follow the base of my neck around to the other side and up towards my lips again. “But we better get going, I made reservations” he says as he pulls away from me and I just wanna tell him to forget those reservations and just fuck me, but as usual my nerves get the better of me and I just nod

“Ok, lets go. Where are we going by the way?” I feel like my face is on fire and I'm sure I'm all red and flustered. Eddie chuckles a little and takes my hand

“I made reservations at Ellie's, it's a restaurant one town over. Thought it would be fancier than anything this place has to offer. It was Steves suggestion, he tells me they have awesome food”

“Oh, exciting! I hope Steve is right then” I say thinking I would have eaten at the gas station if I could just be with Eddie.

“Well, if the food's bad then I KNOW dessert will be fantastic” he says and shoots me a smile that makes my knees weak

“Yeah?” I say

“Yeah, dessert will be more kissing” he winks at me

“Oh, well then it will be a 5 star dessert you mean?” I smile back

“ I sure hope you'll think so” we're down the stairs and we head outside “uhmm...this is a bit awkward but I thought, did you have a car?” Eddie looks at his feet

“Yes I have a car, why?” I say

“Well, my van...well it's not that fun to go for any longer rides in” he mumbles

“Oh, of course we can take my car. Here, you drive” I say and I hand Eddie my keys, he looks at them. His frowns as he looks at the emblem

“You...drive a Pontiac? What kind of Pontiac” he gasps

“A 1971 Le Mans” I say and he stares at me

“No fucking way, you drive one of the sexiest cars from the 70's? Like how are you even real?”

“Well, dad died. Left me and my sister a heap of money. She spent all of hers...all I wanted was that car. I've saved the rest. So...you wanna drive?” I smile, I knew that car would be a bit of a surprise to him

“Do I wanna drive it? I work as a mechanic and I haven't even seen one in real life. It's like a wet dream, only not as exciting as the ones about you” he looks down at the keys in his hand again

“Wait, what? You have those kind of dreams about me?” I'm confused

“What...oh...fuck I said that part out loud?” he drags his hand through his hair giving me a blushing smile “yeeeah... I do... you mind?”

“Why would I mind? I think it's nice knowing I'm in your dreams” I say and I lean in and kiss him “c'mon lets get going. The car's over here in the garage” I say and take him by the hand. As I open the garage door Eddie lets out a sigh

“Look at that! What a beauty!” he walk up to the car running his hands up the hood “You're sure I can drive?” he looks at me

“Yeah of course I wouldn't have given you the keys if I didn't think you could handle my baby” I say and he chuckles

“You sound like a guy, calling your car your baby” he opens the door for me and I get in. He runs to the drivers side and gets in to. “wow, just...wow” he says as he looks around in the car, I mean I know it's a nice car. I'm just used to it now so his admiration is so endearing to me. He puts the key in the ignition and he turns it. The cars V8 roars and I think Eddie's about to cream his pants. I've never seen anyone look this happy starting a car. I giggle

“Do you realize how cute you are right now?” I ask him

“What? Oh...thanks” he smiles “but, ok... are you one of those people who stick to the speed limit no matter what or can I actually put this to the test?” he looks over at me

“Well, as long as you don't run us off the road. Go for it” I say and I get the biggest smile in return.

Well, the ride to the restaurant was a fast one, I think that Eddie might even be sporting a semi from driving my car. But then again I've taken a ride in his van... I guess anything's better than that. But he's like a kid that's gotten absolutely everything they wanted for Christmas.  He's all giddy when we get out of the car.

“THAT WAS AMAZING!” he actually lifts me off the ground and jumps around with me in his arms

“Woooah, calm down or they might think you're high. I want food” I laugh

“Sorry, sorry...just it's a great car. I know I'm like such a duuude right now” he beams at me putting me down on solid ground again. He pulls me in close and he kisses me “now back to you. I did tell you how fucking sexy you look tonight didn't I?”

“Not in those words, no” I say and I blush

“Well, I'm saying them now. This dress should be illegal, making me think all sorts of things” he murmurs in my ear

“I...thanks...wow” I can't find words, he's just to good “what things” I manage to whisper

He chuckles at me shaking his head “Nah sweetheart, I can't be telling you things like that right now. Either you'll be scared of me or you'll try to eat me alive” he looks me deep in the eyes and then he kisses me once more making my head spin “lets get inside, I'm kinda hungry myself” he takes me by the hand and we head in to Ellie's. We have an amazing evening, good food and awesome conversation. He tells me all about being the freak of Hawkins high and I tell him what it was like being the wallflower in Seattle. He tells me about his uncle, who I can tell he loves very much and I tell him about my dad and how I always wished I could have stayed with him when mum and him split up. He asks me if I would like to come with him to see Wayne sometime. I tell him I would love to. We keep talking about what life has thrown at us when he suddenly says

“I wanna come with you to Seattle some time... I wanna be there when you rub your new life in your sisters face” he's looking very serious

“Really? I mean...it could get ugly” I say

“Well, not to be rude to you or anything but I think you might need me there. Or she might just kill your happiness. And I don't want that, I want to be the one to make you happy and I will do anything to keep you happy as well. Even meet that sister of yours” he smiles at me

“Then by all means come with me. I would love to see the look on her face” I laugh

“It's settled then, when you feel ready for it I will come with you to Seattle. But right now I just wanna pay for this and get you home so I can kiss you without making people blush” he says and his eyes burn at me

“Oook...please” I say losing all train of thought again. Eddie laughs a little at me and he gets the waiters attention and asks for the check. He pays and we head out to the car again. He starts driving towards Hawkins again, we keep talking about life in general. All of a sudden without him thinking about it he puts his hand on my thigh and lets it slide up under my dress. I draw a deep breath and Eddie panics

“Fuck... God I'm sorry I just... I'm sorry I didn't mean to”

“Eddie... Hey Eddie... It's ok. I didn't mind” I say and I smile at him “the thought of you touching me is getting less scary by the minute. Please put your hand back, I liked it” I whisper, he glances over at me

“Making me a very happy man babe” he says with a soft voice and he puts his hand on my thigh again slowly letting it slide up under my dress “you tell me when to stop” he whispers. When his fingers are almost touching my panties I feel that lump forming

“I think...that's as far as I'm comfortable with right now” I blush as I say it, feeling a bit stupid

“Hey no blushing, I told you we do this at your pace. I'm just happy I get to touch you” his hand squeezes my thigh a little and I feel a jolt of energy centring between them. I can feel that I'm getting wet from only this, quite innocent touch. But to me it's the most erotic thing I've ever experienced. Eddie speeds almost more as we head home in the night. We get to my apartment and we head for the front door.

“I hope you're coming in for a while?” I say

“Try to stop me, I want dessert now” Eddie winks at me then he presses himself against my back and places a kiss on my neck “this ok?” he says and I can feel his breath on my neck making every hair on my body stand up

“Oh yeah it is! It's better than ok” I sigh as I unlock the door and we head up the stairs. We barely make in my apartment before Eddie spins me around and his lips crash in to mine.

“Fuuuuck been longing for this all night” he mumbles as he kisses me

“Wanna stand here or should we move it to the couch at least?” I say as his lips trail down my neck

“Couch...yes” he says and he keeps kissing me as he steers me backwards to the couch. He turns and he lays down “c'mon lay down on me” he smiles

“You wanna die? I'm too heavy” I say looking down at him

“Don't be like that, please” he says and pats his chest. I carefully lay down on top of him, he pulls me in the last little bit and he kisses me deeply

“See, I'm still alive. You feel just right on top of me” he purrs “but now to the burning question...may I please touch your ass? I've wanted to since the day we met” he smiles

“You've wanted to touch my ass? Why?” I giggle

“It's a great ass... I just wanna feel if it's as good as it looks” he tries an innocent look, he fails miserably considering the smirk on his lips

“Wow, smooth Eddie. But yeah, you can touch my ass” I say as I start kissing his neck, just the way he's been kissing mine. I feel him draw a deep breath and then his hands slide down my sides landing on my ass. One hand on each cheek and I can hear Eddie moan

“Fuck yeah, this feels a thousand times better than I imagined it would. Great ass...so soft” I smile as I keep kissing his neck, following that sharp sexy jawline up to his lips. I try to ignore the hard thing I feel pressing against my stomach. I can't really deal with that when my mind is fully preoccupied with his hands massaging my ass so deliciously. We lie there kissing and I feel Eddies hands moving all over my ass. The lump in the pit of my stomach starts up and I tense up. Eddie notices straight away “sorry sweetheart, I got a bit carried away. We'll slow down. Or would you like to end the night here? I've had a perfect evening so I won't be disappointed I promise. This is all up to you” I want him so bad but just the thought of telling him that makes my insides churn and I feel a bit sick. I stay quiet, words just aren't coming to me “sweetheart, I can tell this is too much right now. Here's what were gonna do. We'll get up from here and we'll have a few more kisses. Then I'll go home, VERY satisfied with the evening think nothing else. And then we'll see each other again tomorrow night” he strokes my hair and kisses my forehead. I nod and I get up from my very comfortable place on top of him. I sit down at the end of the couch and I feel like the biggest loser ever.

“I was so doing so good” I whisper with tears in my eyes

“Yes you were, but it got to be too much for you, it's ok babe. It really is, I promised you I'd do everything at your pace didn't I? But you do have a great ass” Eddie smiles and winks at me

“Thank you, I enjoyed the touch very much. It's just...my body wanted so much more but my brain isn't really there yet” I whisper still a bit sad

“Sweetheart” he pulls me closer hand gives me a long warm hug “I like you, I like you A LOT. And it's only been days. I can wait, I mean do I want to do all sorts of things to this body? Hell yeah I do, but I'm pretty sure this body's gonna be around for a while, or I hope so at least. Kissing and kneading that ass is goooood times so don't worry about me” he kisses me a couple of more times then he gets up from the couch. “I'ma head home now and we'll talk in the morning. Maybe I can come help with something before your friend arrives, like kissing the hostess. I bet Casey's not doing that?” he smiles

“No, she doesn't have the privileges you do” I say and I giggle “I had a very good night Eddie” I look at him standing there in front of me towering over the couch “a really wonderful night and I can't wait to do this again” I stand up and I give him another kiss and then I follow him to the door and we say good night and he leaves.

I get ready for bed all the while scolding myself for being such a wuss. It's not like sleeping with him will hurt me, I'm no virgin. He's been nothing but respectful to me so I doubt he's going to do what that other asshole did. I walk around arguing with myself as I brush my teeth and change out of the dress. I crawl in to bed and I fall asleep faster than I thought I would. And I dream, fucking hell do I dream. I wake up so turned on I don't know what to do with myself, my hand trail down under my tiny nightgown, in between my thighs. I slip my fingers in under my panties and I feel how wet I am. I try doing what Casey told me she did to herself when we were gossiping as teens. But his doesn't feel right, I must be doing something wrong. It's not helping the matter, only making me ache for more. I throw the covers off me and I get out of bed, no plan just pure impulsivity driving me. I put a jacket over the skimpy thing I'm wearing and I head out to the car. I pull out of the garage and I put petal to the metal as I speed of towards where Eddie pointed to me he lived. I skid as I turn in to the trailer park. I slow down so I can look for the van. There I see it outside one of the newer looking trailers. I stop outside and I get out and go up to the door knocking . It takes a few minutes then I hear the lock and Eddie opening the door, bed hair deluxe and looking so fucking hot in only pyjama pants.

“Kat? What...did something happen? You ok?” he stands back so I can come in

“I fucking dream about you, like so fucking hot dreams I wake up craving touch. I try to do it myself but hell being the fuck up I am I have no idea how to because of course I've never done that. So here I am in the middle of the night and I have no idea what I'm doing … so please Eddie.... touch me” I say and I just let my clothes fall to the floor in front of him “help me...I need you” my chest feels like it's about to explode, my breathing is heavy and I must look like a lunatic. But for some odd reason that must be something this man likes because he only closes the door and he's by my side in two quick steps pulling me in close, breathing in my scent with a deep breath

“Fuck babe, would you look at you. I've never seen anything this sexy ever. But are you sure?”

“Don't make me think about this Eddie...just...please fuck me Eddie. Help me get rid of the demons” I say and I reach up and I pull his head down to me and I kiss him with all the emotion I have in me right now. As we pull apart his eyes are black and they seem like they burn from somewhere deep inside. I gasp as this is the hottest thing I've ever seen

“Wow, just like...wow. I will chase those demons of yours all the way back to hell, just one thing though”

“Yeah” I say as I press my body against his feeling that aching wetness between my legs

“You've never touched yourself? You've never had an orgasm?” he studies my face while his hands start doing their own thing following the shape of my naked body pressed against his

“No... I haven't” I whisper still not taking my eyes off him “please be my first Eddie”

The sound he lets out sends shivers down my spine making my knees wobble it's like a mix of a groan, a moan and a deep growl “Fuck babe, I will be you first and your forever if you'll let me. Bedroom...now!” he says and he swoops me off my feet and he carries me to the back of the trailer. I didn't think this man was this strong, he doesn't look it. But damn he carried me like I weigh nothing. He drops me down on the bed “please lay back babe” he purrs

I do as I'm told, all the while watching this perfect man standing there looking at me. His gaze sets my body even further on fire, he slowly pulls his pj's down and I finally get to see what I've only felt so far. And I was so right, it IS impressive. Long, thick and veiny. I mean I've only ever seen  one before but I am convinced this is the most beautiful dick in the world.

“God, Eddie you look so fucking good” I whimper “I want you... I really fucking want you”

“I'm all yours sweetheart, all yours to use in any way you want me” he says and he gets in to the bed with me “now a word of advise. Just do, don't think so much about this. If it feels like a good idea it most likely is” he smiles “and I will take good care of you, just tell me if something doesn't feel right” he pulls me closer and he begins kissing me. I wrap my hands around his neck to pull him even closer, I press myself against him wanting to feel him all over me. His hands touching every inch of my body, his moaning in my ear. It's all heaven to me. He maneuvers me so I'm on my back with him on top of me, he continues kissing me and his hands have found my boobs. He's massaging them, pinching my rock hard nipples softly between his fingers. He pulls away from kissing me, looks down at me “ready for me sweetheart?” he purrs

“Yeah, ready” I pant and he smiles as he starts kissing down my chest. Licking and sucking my nipples making me squirm with pleasure, the ache between my legs so strong I don't know if I can handle it to much longer. His hands trailing lower, down my body, squeezing the soft belly. Then down to my hips, his kisses following along. He sits up on his knees looking down at me

“Fucking hell you're prefect babe. I've been dreaming of getting smothered between those thighs for days now. So fucking sexy” he growls and I feel my entire body blush and my breathing halter for a moment. He looks...wild, almost like some kind of animal. He's so sexy it's almost painful to look straight at him, like the sun. I writhe beneath him as I just want him to touch me. He lays down and lets his hands follow the flesh of my legs up towards the insides of my thighs trailing kisses behind.

“Would you look at this pussy, so fucking beautiful” he murmurs as he spreads my legs and looks at me with adoring eyes, I feel like I should shy away but I'm to memorized by the way he looks at me to even care any more. He can from now on do whatever he wants to me, I am completely under his spell and I wouldn't wanna change a thing. His fingers grace the edges of my pussy, just at the base of my thighs. “May I? Oh please tell me I can touch you” he whispers and looks up at me

“I'd kill you if you refused at this point” I say and he chuckles

“Good” only one word then I feel his fingers where I've so longed to have them. He drags one finger in between my folds drawing in a sharp breath as it glides in “fuck you're wet, all mine” he growls

“All yours” I pant as this is excruciating, I want more...of everything

Eddie slides his thick finger in my slick getting it nice and wet before he finally reaches my clit. I jilt from the sudden impact and he tenses at first

“Good or bad?” I can tell he's still worried he's going to fast with me

“All good, too good almost. You told me just do, don't think. Please take your own advise” I moan and I hear him laugh a sexy little laugh

“Yeah, I did say that” he starts circling my clit with his finger and I'm grabbing his sheets I with my hands. My head I buzzing with this new sensation, my pussy is clenching around nothing wanting something. I'm rocking my hips to meet whatever movement Eddie does. He stops playing with my clit and I want to fucking hit him! But he's just switching it up a notch for me, his thick and long middle finger is pressed in to me hitting all the right spots inside making me groan out loud. “Fucking feel so good around my finger babe, I'ma taste you know. I need to taste you” he's mumbling before he latches on to my clit with his mouth, sucking and licking me in to the high heavens. I scream as my first ever orgasm hits me like a ton of bricks thrown out of nowhere.

“fuuuuck that's my good girl, tasting so good and feeling so amazing on my finger” Eddie purrs at me as I come down from my high. He's pulled his finger out now and is sitting up on his knees caressing the insides of my thighs with his hands “felt good babe?” he smiles

“Good? That was heaven, you're a god Eddie Munson! But please...fuck me for real now. Can't let a perfect dick like that go unused” I say with a moan looking at his cock twitching between his legs

“Well, I'm a good boy I do as I'm told” he smiles and reaches for a condom in his bedside table. I'm watching him roll it down his hard length and I feel my insides do a flip of excitement. God! Will this thing even fit inside me? Eddie positions himself between my open legs and he's gritting his teeth as he slides the head of his cock in my wet folds.

“You're not going to hurt me” I whisper

“No I know...just I've been wanting this so long now I think I might blow my load upon entry if I don't at least try to pace myself” he grins “I wanna see you play with yourself as I fuck you babe” he growls

“I...tell me how” I whisper

He moans and he slowly presses his cock in to me all the way to the hilt. He stops for a moment letting us both get used to the feeling. I let out a long moan, this is so fucking good. He feels so perfect

“Fuck babe, this pussy was made for me, God you feel amazing. C'mon take your fingers and put them on your clit...right so yeah...now move them, circular motions. Just like I did...yeeeah look at that you're a natural. You'll feel kinda soon what feels good, just keep doing that as I fuck this amazing pussy of yours” he's talking he through my first time playing with myself. At first I feel a little silly, but then I find a pace that seems to work as that knot inside of me starts growing again. He fills me up so deliciously, fucking me with long thrusts watching my fingers play with my clit. “God babe, you have no idea how sexy you look” he growl and I feel a tingle pass through my body I arch my back a little

“Faster Eddie, please” I moan and he grabs my hips holding them up as he picks up the speed of his thrusts. This time I can feel the orgasm coming and I begin panting and writhing beneath Eddie as it crashes down on me. “Eddiieeeee fuuuuuuck” I scream his name and I feel myself clench around his dick over and over

“God damn babe, I'm stuck in a vice here. Amazing woman” he growls as he trusts a couple of more times before I feel him tense up and let out a guttural moan “fuuuuuck here it comes....oooooh God Kaaaat” he slumps down on top of me doing a few more slow thrusts as he breathes heavily looking up at me with a beaming smile. He leans in and kisses me deeply “I have NEVER been so happy to be woken up in the middle of the night before” he says. I feel him pull out and then he gets out of the bed to go and discard the condom and wash his hands, apparently someone got them all sticky. I giggle at him as he says this to me with a wink. He comes back and he crawls in to bed behind me and pulls me in close, nuzzling up in to my neck. “Feel ok sweetheart?” he whispers

“Amazing Eddie, thank you” I say as I caress the arms that are wrapped around me

“Glad to hear, because THAT is something I wanna do again and again, forever and ever” he mumbles in to my hair. I can hear he's tired and so am I. I'm almost asleep already

“Me too, Ed. Me too” I yawn and I wiggle my butt closer to Eddie so I can feel his warmth and his body close to mine

“Sleep now beautiful and we can do this again in the morning” he places a kiss on my neck and he wraps his arms tighter around me and we fall asleep. The sun is shining in when we're woken up by a booming voice from the kitchen

“Fucking hell Munson, did you swipe a car from work. That's a real beauty out there. Did the date go late last night since you're still sleeping. Get up fucker” the door to the bedroom swings open with a bang and there's Steve with a mug in his hand “want some...coffee...oh”

“Morning Steve” I murmur as I pull the covers closer to me, nudging Eddie “get up and talk to him please... I have no real clothes. See you tonight though Steve” I say smiling at the shocked face in the doorway

“What...huh... Oh...fuck I forgot to lock the front door didn't I? Hey Steve, be right with you, wanna go back in to the kitchen man...I'm sorta naked under here” Eddie chuckles

“Uhhhh...sure” the door closes and we start laughing

“Oh well...no need to think about how we're gonna tell them then I guess” I say as Eddie gets out of bed and puts his pj's on again

“Nope, he'll be calling Robin the second he gets home”

He walks out in to the kitchen and I hear Steve

“It's Kats car? She's been here with you all night... Put it there man!” I hear the sound of hands clashing in a high five and I smile to myself “this is great man, I'm so happy for you... YOU BOTH” Steve raises his voice so I'll know he's talking to me too

“THANKS STEVE” I call back to him. They keep talking but they've probably moved to the couch because I can only hear the muffled sound of voices. I drift off to sleep again, feeling happier than I've been ever. Also, the anxiety that's always with me...it's subsided, not as loud in my head. Maybe Eddie did take some of the demons and sent them to hell last night. Maybe I should let him loose on the biggest one of them all...she never did manage to get a hint so she should be calling in like a week and a half. Half asleep I feel Eddie crawl back in to the bed, sliding in under the covers and pressing his now naked body against mine. Suddenly I'm fully awake

“Hey there princess, you looked so peaceful. But I wanna make you scream my name one more time before you have to go” Eddie's breath is on my neck and his hands are cupping my boobs, softly pinching my nipples making them stand alert. I press my ass closer to him

“What were you thinking?” I murmur wiggling my ass against him feeling him getting rock hard in seconds

“THAT! I was thinking that...fuck this ass is out of this world. Lift your leg please” he purrs in my ear and I feel my pussy start throbbing as I do what he asks me. His hand slides in between my thighs as I lift my leg “shit babe, so wet and hot already” his skilled fingers find my clit and I draw a long sharp breath as he starts circling the little knob with his fingers. “Want something to fill you up sweetheart?” he kisses my neck

“Yeah...please fill me...please” my voice isn't more than a whisper I am fully focused on how amazing his fingers are working me. Playing my clit like the strings of a guitar.

“That's my polite girl right there” Eddie says, voice sounding like a low growl sending shivers down my spine. I moan out loud at his words making him chuckle a little before I feel his hand leaving my pussy and grabbing his cock, stroking it a couple of times before he begins sliding it up and down my drenched slit.

“Please...Ed....fuck I need... I need you in me” I'm a whimpering mess trying so meet his movements with my hips, hoping to make him slip in by accident. I can't take this, I'm already cock drunk and we haven't even started yet. We've fucked once, and I'm addicted to this guy.

“Since you said please with that sweet voice of yours who am I to deny you” he says coarsely as he slowly pushes his hard cock all the way in me, bottoming out with a groan. “Fuuuuuck babe this is unreal...oh my god this pussy” he stays still for a moment, gripping my boobs  and kissing my neck before he slowly begins to move. He's so big and he fills me up so perfectly. “Keep your leg up and do what I told you last night, play with yourself babe. I wanna fell you come undone all over me” he growls in my ear. I let my hand move down and I begin working my clit the way I did last night and holy fucking hell it feels totally different in this angle. I'm squirming feeling the orgasm closing in rapidly. I scream as it takes me and I hear Eddie softly whispering praise in my ear making the effect even better. “Fucking hell babe you came so good for me, almost squeezed my dick off. Can I try something else though” he whispers as I calm down some

“I'd fucking let you do anything to me after that” I say panting and he giggles

“Be a good girl for me and get up on your knees” he murmurs in to my neck and I feel all the hairs on my body stand up...that's the way HE did it back then... I'm feeling that ball of anxiety form in the pit of my stomach, but I look back at Eddie before I say anything and the look of complete admiration and desire in his eyes kills the lump. I WANT him to do that to me, fuck me that way. And I know that if it's too much he'll stop if I ask him. I tentatively get on my knees, pouting my ass up at Eddie who growls at me “Jeeeesus H Christ you're sexy babe” he leans down and he kisses my ass, letting his tongue slide in between my wet folds making me shiver and moan. Then he positions himself behind me, one hand on my ass grabbing all the supple flesh it can hold and the other guiding his cock to my opening. At first I feel like getting away, it's to familiar....to scary. But then he slides in an all is forgotten! Shit this man is perfect for me, it feels so good I make a sound more suited for The Exorcist than the bedroom. This way Eddies cock hits spots I had no idea were even there. “Fuuuuck babe this isn't going to last long. You're so fucking tight and amazing around my cock” he pants as he's grabbed my ass with both hands now pressing me down slightly as he fucks me with long, hard thrusts. I can feel I'm close again myself, letting my hand find it's way in between my legs to work my clit. He wasn't kidding when he said it wouldn't last! The second I feel my insides clench around him when yet another orgasm hits me I feel him slump down on top of me growling my name and digging his fingers in to the flesh of my ass. “fuck, fuck, fuck babe you're perfect” he whispers and leaves kisses all over my back before pulling out and getting up to go get rid of the condom. When he comes back I'm sprawled out on my stomach, all fucked out and happy. He smiles at me “You're the best thing that's happened to me, like EVER. And seeing that I made you smile like that...fuck I feel proud right now” he says laying down beside me in the bad kissing me deeply

“You're the best thing to happen to ME Eddie Munson. If it weren't for Casey I'd wanna stay here doing this ALL weekend long” I say and I kiss him back

“Any time babe, this home and this bed will always be open for you. Any day of the week from now until my dying day” he pulls me in and hugs me so tight I almost lose my breath “you have no idea what this meant to me” he whispers and I see he has tears in his eyes

“To you? What do you mean?” I look at him, how could this have meant something to him to give this reaction

“I didn't tell you...when we talked about my past. But I don't...I can't sleep very well, memories turn in to nightmares. But tonight, I slept Kat. I slept like I haven't slept since before the Upside down. Thank you” he's kissing me again and I grab his face looking in to his eyes

“Eddie, thank you for telling me. Also... you helped me more than you think to. Hell must be overflowing with newly arrived demons” I say and I smile at him

“Well, I hope you'll keep letting me help you” he smiles and gives me a very sexy wink and a kiss

“Oh you bet, until you're sick of me” I say

“Impossible” he whispers and I feel my heart swell and I wanna cry

We lay like this for a while, just talking and kissing. Soft touches and hugs. I don't ever want it to end but I glance over at the clock on Eddies wall and I jump to my feet. It's 2 pm, I need to get home and get ready for Casey.

“Being here with you sure made time fly, sorry but I have to go now. But I'll see you tonight?”

“Try to stop me...and now that we're 'out' I can kiss you and touch you as much as I want! Yay me!” he claps his hands like a excited kid

“Weirdo” I say and I giggle

“That's why you like me” he beams “and I prefer Freak, you're the weirdo” he gets up and he kisses me on the nose

“Oh is that so?” I smile

“Sure is, you let the town Freak in to your pants...you're a total weirdo” he chuckles “ask anyone”

We hold hands as Eddie follows me to my car and we say good bye for now. I head home, where I have 4 messages on my answering machine. All from Casey the last one informing me that if I haven't called her by 2:30 she's calling the police. I look at the time it's 2:20 so I call her

“Hello?”

“I'm alive”

“WHERE THE FUCKING HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!?”

“Exactly that...”

“What?”

“Fucking...is where I've been”

Silence

“I'm getting cab now, going straight to the bus station...this is so not a phone thing” she slams the phone down in my ear and I laugh

I start preparing food for the evening. I need to go shopping but I guess I'll wait for Casey. The phone rings

“Hello, this is Kat”

“So did Steve find you naked in Eddies bed or has he been smoking some seriously strong shit?” it's Robin

“I have no idea if he's been smoking, but he did find me there yes”

“Soooo....wow, good date I assume”

“Nah it sucked but his dick made up for it” I say and I hear Robin snorting

“HA! Good one, you do realise I will be using that against him right?”

“Yeah I figured, but yeah it was a lovely date. It...well... I can give you the details some other day. I'm a bit pressed for time right now, Casey's on the way and I need to sort out food for tonight.”

“Sure thing! So any preferences when it comes to drinks? Beer, wine, bourbon, vodka? What's your poison?” she asks

“Get some beers and maybe a couple of bottles of wine for the food. I know Casey likes Tequila, I'm more of a vodka girl” I say

“Sorted! See you at 7 then”

“Yes! See you”

We hang up and I decide I am in desperate need of a shower after the night I've had. I should have about 30 minutes before Casey gets here. I shower and I pick out a pair of jeans and a shirt to wear while going to the grocery store and picking up Casey at the bus. I get out to the car and I head for the bus station. I park so I can see all the buses arrive. I wait for about 10 minutes when I see a bus that says Indianapolis on it. I get out of the car and cross the street. I hear her before I see her, I feel sorry for anyone else on that bus. I just smile and shake my head. The doors open and she lunges herself at me

“YOU LOOK SO FUCKING GOOD KAT!”

“Wow, do you think I've gone deaf Casey? But thank you, you look good yourself” we hug and then we hear a soft cough beside us. It's the bus driver bringing Caseys bag for her. Apparently she was in such a rush to get off the bus she forgot it on the seat next to her.

“Thank you sir. Sorry I just haven't seen my friend in a while” she beams at him

“No problem miss, you're lucky someone saw your bag or it might have gone back to Indianapolis with me” he says smiling back at us

We cross the street and put Caseys bag in the car.

“So wanna get a coffee before we head for the store?” I ask her nodding towards a cafe right next to where I parked my car

“That's a stupid question. There is some serious gossip we need to tend to, and that calls for coffee so...yes” she says and grabs my hand dragging me in to the cafe

We find a table in the back where we're not easily spotted. We order and we sit down

“Ok, so... Were you kidding me before on the phone?” Casey stares at me

“No, actually I wasn't” I say and I blush

“Well then, remind me to buy this man a gift” she nods approvingly “but like, a few days ago you were freaking out when he kissed you. May I ask what changed?”

“Remember when we were like... 16 or something. You tried to tell me how to get myself off, you'd read bout it somewhere and you swore by it” I laugh

“Oh fuck, yeah that” she laughs “what about that disaster?”

“Well... after the date I had this really hot dream about Eddie. Woke up all riled up, couldn't get it to work” I giggle “I don't know what got in to me I just got in my car and I drove over to Eddie's and asked him to help me”

“Wow...hot! I would LOVE for a girl to do that to me” she sighs “so I hope he appreciated that”

“Oh he did...A LOT!” I say with a smirk

“Oh you slut. So he's...good?” she winks at me

“Good? He's perfect...like rock my world kinda perfect” I sigh

“Well then, he just needs the Casey Rowling stamp of approval and you guys are ready to walk down the aisle” she says

“Woah, down girl. One date... easy does it. Be nice to him please, you can come scare him after say...5 dates”

“Awww...no fun. I love scaring men” she pouts

“Yeah that's what I'm afraid of” I laugh “you can scare Steve though...a little at least or Robin might be angry”

“Right....fuck I'M the one who has a date tonight. Maybe I shouldn't be such a tease... By tomorrow I might be just as bad off as you are” she says with a fake groan

“Exactly, maybe we're racing for the aisle before we know it. But I mean we both know you'll be the biggest bridezilla out of the two of us” I say poking her

“Nuhuu will not! I'm cool, calm and collected. Nothing but a lady”

I raise my eyebrows at her giving her a knowing smirk

“Whatever...” she chuckles

We finish our coffees then we head for the grocery store getting all I have planned for the evening. We discuss this as we go home and I assign Casey with things to do while I cook. It's so nice to have her here, the guys are great so far. But this is my person, my home. Everything feels so much better with her around, I just hope she'll like my new friends. Time flies away and suddenly we have like 15 minutes to change, we panic a little and run in to the bedroom. We grew up together so stripping down in to my underwear in front of Casey is no big deal

“Wow...he's an ass man?” I hear her chuckle

“What?” I ask

“Your ass...it looks like a paint by numbers” she smiles and I tun to the mirror to check. I start laughing as I see 10 spots on my ass perfectly tracing Eddies fingers on my ass. All in a different shade of purple

“Well...” I blush and giggle

“God I love this man without even having met him yet” she says and she gives me a hug “if he's making you this happy he is my new hero! Superman can fly the fuck away and be gone for all I care” she smiles

“He wants to come with me to Seattle...to help me cope with my demons” I say

“Oh please let me come! I wanna see him shut her up for good” Casey has nothing but hate for Laura

“We can talk about that later” I say with a smile “now get pretty you have a girl coming over” I say and I clap my hands

“Fuck yeah I do, you think she'll like me?” I've never heard Casey worried if someone will like her or not

“I'm sure she will, but be nice to her even when her mouth moves faster than her brain...she has a tendency to talk first and think later” I say

“Best kind of people, that's when you can get the good stuff uncensored” Casey winks at me

“Can I please ask you one more thing... IF you don't hit it off with her, please don't use her and leave. I like this girl I don't want her to shy away from me because...well”

“Hey I wouldn't do that to you, c'mon Kat. I know I'm a slut but I can behave for you. If I like her we'll see where it leads. If not I'll be a good girl and just be friendly. I promise” she looks a bit hurt I hug her tightly

“Thank you, I'm just so happy I have more friends for the first time that I'm a bit scared they'll disappear” she hugs me back

“I get that, but c'mon you gotta look pretty for your man now to!” she smiles at me

“I have no good clothes, I wore that black velvet dress I bought for new years when you got sick last night so that's old news. Can you check if there's some hidden potential I've missed” I say sighing

“Why can't you wear the black dress again? We just need to style it differently and it'll be like he's never seen it before” she says and I take out the dress and I put it on “woooowsah what a babe! I understand why he's all hot for you” she whistles at me. “Lets see, if you yank it up so it's shorter and then....hmmm....here a belt to keep it from sliding down again. Then some colorful jewellery and some makeup and BAM BABE 2.0!” she says smiling widely

I look in the mirror, and she's right. This doesn't look like the same dress, or the same girl even. She looks different, this one looks happy. The doorbell rings and we look at each other

“Game time!” Casey says and she follows me to the door. I open and I see Eddie beaming at me

“Hey, am I late?” he comes in and he kisses me

“Well... I don't have to guess which one you are” Casey chuckles

“Oh, fuck sorry. Hi I'm Eddie, you must be the famous Casey!” he takes her hand and shakes it beaming at her, I can see even she reacts to that smile

“Famous?” she turns to me “what have you been filling his head with?”

“Only the good stuff, I promise” I say and I make a face at her

“Yeah that's what I was afraid of, well Eddie. Almost all of it are vicious lies” she smirks

“Oh, ok... Suuuure...” he nods and winks at her

“And you're not late, Robin and Steve haven't arrived yet. But some on in, you guys can get comfortable in the living room while I check the food. Eddie, you'll get the door when they arrive won't you?” I say

“Sure babe” he smiles

“Oh God, stop that's too sweet” Casey shakes her head and heads to the living room

“She seems cool, I think Robin will like her” Eddie whispers and gives me kiss that makes me have to hold on to the door for a second. Then he smiles at me, squeezes my ass and follows Casey to the living room. I'm stuck at the door for a moment trying to collect my thoughts. Then I giggle to myself and I head in to the kitchen. About 10 minutes later I hear the doorbell again and Eddie pops out to open it. I hear the familiar voices out there and I peek out of the kitchen

“Hey guys, just finishing up the food. So I out Eddie to work the door. Make sure to tip him” I wink

“Yeah, here's a tip. Make sure to have clothes on if you're not going to lock your door” Steve grins at Eddie

“Thanks man, good one. Gonna try to remember that...or remember to lock the door” Eddie grins back and the guys go in to the living room. I hear Steve and Casey introduce themselves and they start talking like they've always known each other. Robin comes in to the kitchen

“Hey, should I put the drinks in the fridge?” she says

“Hey, yes please do. You look lovely Robin” I say

“Oh, thank you sweetie. You do to...” she smiles at me “I'm so fucking nervous” she continues in a whisper “what if she doesn't like me?”

“Of course she'll like you! I mean you'll at least make a new friend if there isn't any sparks. I have some cold beers in the fridge already, take those and join the others. I'll be there in a little while” I say and I smile reassuringly at her. She does as I tell her and I hear her take a deep breath before she enters the living room. I can't hear anything, weird I think. What happened in there, they were talking and having fun just a moment ago. Eddie shows up in the door

“Well that was...interesting” he chuckles

“Oh?” I say

“I don't think I've ever seen Robin that shade of red and your friend...well I think she turned mute the second she saw Robin. I'd say it's instant attraction if nothing else...something I'm VERY familiar with” he purrs pressing himself against my backside

“Behave Eddie” I giggle but I can't help wiggling my ass against him making him gasp

“Fuck...didn't think about this” he chuckles and he pulls away from me fixing his jeans, which all of a sudden seem awfully tight. I'ma go back and keep Steve company. Love that ass though” he says and slaps me softly before leaving

I smile to myself as I finish the food and I set it up on the table. I've made a bunch of little dishes, all recipes I haven't tried before but that seemed delicious. Nothing too fancy but fun for an evening like this. I bring out wine glasses and the wine bottles. Then I head in to the living room.

“Ok guys, welcome. Well the food's ready so come sit down” I look at Casey and I almost laugh out loud. She's completely smitten, she's just staring at Robin as she's in the middle of a discussion with Eddie about something. Steve rolls his eyes at me but he's smiling to.

“Well if no one else is listening to our lovely hostess at least I am” he says and he gets up and goes to sit down with me at the table “I think it's a hit, I've never seen Rob this flustered about a girl before” he whispers

“Good! And I've never seen Casey this smitten” I say and we high five

“Hey guys” I call in to the living room

“MUNSON! You really keeping your girl waiting?” Steve yells and we hear rustling as they all come hurrying in

“Sorry babe, sorry. As it turns out... Tom Cruise isn't God” Eddie kisses me on the cheek and smiles

“Really? THAT'S what they were discussing?” I laugh and I look at Steve

“What'd ya think the eye rolling was about” he chuckles

The evening is a complete success! The food was amazing, even I thought so. We eat and we drink, we talk and laugh in to the wee hours. Steve passes out on the couch. Me and Eddie are sitting on the floor, him holding me and kissing me on the neck. This is when we realize we haven't seen Casey and Robin for a while

“Where the hell did they go?” Eddie laughs

“I have no idea, I know they said they were going out on the balcony a while ago. Are they still out there?” I say getting up from the floor and heading for the door. I look out there and no one's out there. I check the kitchen, the bathroom and my bedroom. Then I hear Eddie with a giggle

“Both sets of shoes and jackets are gone, I'd say Robin took her home”

“Wow, well...good for them” I giggle “what about him” I point over at Steve

“Well knowing Harrington he's gone, no point trying to wake him up from a tequila sleep. Been there, tried that, doesn't work. We might as well go to bed” he smiles at me and I think I'm about to pass out he's so handsome. I take him by the hand and I lead him to the bedroom, making sure to lock the door behind us. Eddie chuckles at that

“Good idea” his hands are already all over me unzipping my dress. I wiggle out of it letting it hit the floor where I'm standing. “Fuck babe you're so gorgeous” Eddie's hands find my ass and his lips find the crease of my neck. He suddenly freezes

“What?” I ask turning towards him

“I didn't bring a condom, didn't think we'd have a chance to do this” he says

“Well...if you'd teach me I'd like to...try using my mouth on you. Maybe we can do that tonight?” I blush, not really used to talking like this yet. Eddie's eyes widen and turn pitch black

“You want me to...teach you how to blow me?” the words almost get stuck in his throat

I nod “yes...if you want me to” I say

“Want you to? Sweetheart, any part of this amazing body you wanna use on me I'm all for. But I wanna return the favour if I may” he smiles at me

“Well, ok then. You may” I wink at him wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing myself flush against him making him moan. I take the rest of the things I'm wearing off, then I lay down on the bed watching Eddie, he's stunned. Just staring at me “hey wanna join me?” I say and I hold out a hand to him. I don't think I've ever seen anyone get naked that fast before. 2 seconds flat and he's in bed next to me running his hands all over my naked body. He's on top of me resting on his arms looking down at me

“You're sure this is what you wanna do? I mean...it's not too fast for you?” he asks

“If I don't feel comfortable I'll tell you. But I wanna try, read enough portrayals of it in my spicy books. Always wondered what it feels like having a dick in my mouth” I smile

“You're a dream aren't you? Like... I'm dreaming having met you, you're unreal...” he's looking down at me with admiration in his eyes and it almost makes me tear up. “Guess I'll get better situated for you to...try me out then” he smiles and he lays down on his back next to me “whenever you're ready sweetheart” he purrs.

I study his naked form and I feel how the wetness between my legs spill over and start running down my thighs as I sit up on my knees. I straddle his legs, making sure I have one of his chins perfectly fitted to give some pressure in just the right places. I grind on him a little so he can feel how wet he's made me and this makes his eyes burn with wild fire. “Fucking hell Kat, you're soaking my leg. It that all for me?” he growls

“All for you Eddie” I whisper as seductively as I know how to as I lean forward and start trailing kisses over his chest and abs. I let my tongue run circles over the sexy line of hair going down to his rock hard erection. He's leaking pre cum, making it pool a little at the side of his bellybutton where the tip of his cock is twitching. Looking like it's doing little jumps to catch my attention. I take his cock in my hand stroking it slowly while making eye contact with Eddie. He's looking wild under my touch, soft moans escaping his supple lips. “So how do I do this? Any pointers?” I say with a wink

“Well... I'd say no teeth is the biggest pointer. And don't try to go deeper than you're comfortable with until you're ok with it. Just...fuck just go for it” he moans as my hand lets go of him. I smile and I let my tongue play on his stomach right next to the head of his cock, not touching just yet. He's squirming and his cock is twitching smearing his pre cum all over his stomach. I move my head and I let my tongue run from the base of his cock all the way up to the tip. Then I swirl it around the head tasting him before wrapping my lips around it. It's a a strange feeling having something so soft and delicious in my mouth and I am not supposed to chew on it. Eddie's moans are getting louder and this gets me even more turned on. I seem to be doing ok at least. I take him in a bit further in my mouth “fuck babe, doing so good for me, so good” he pants as his fingers nestle in to my hair. “could use some more spit though....make it glide easier” he murmurs and I oblige. I collect more saliva in my mouth before taking him in again, feeling the difference it makes. I go deeper and his grip on my hair tightens “fuck, gonna cum soon. Your mouth is amazing babe, fucking amazing” his hips are meeting my head bobbing up and down on his cock. Going even deeper, I've almost got him in completely to the hilt. Eddie looks down and he groans loudly “fuuuuuck if you don't wanna swallow or spit babe you'd better get of him now” he moans, his chest heaving with his breathing. I wanna try, I wanna taste him fully. So I keep going pushing that little bit that's still left before he'll be all in my throat. He stiffens and he lets out a guttural scream as he convulses under me and his cock pulsates in the back of my throat. He shoots his warm seed down me and I swallow as best I can, some going up his shaft and out the sides of my mouth. I let him slide out of my mouth and I lick the remains up, he tastes good. Salty but not at all unpleasant. I lick my lips and smile up at him

“I did good?”

He just laughs at me, at first my heart sinks. I think I did so bad he finds me ridiculous. But then he grabs me and pulls me up

“Good? Jesus H Christ babe, BEST head I've ever gotten! Why didn't you tell me you have no gag reflex?”

“uhm...gag reflex?” I say confused

“Yeah... Look by no means have I gotten a lot of head in my days but no one's been able to take more than maybe half of my length before gagging on it. You didn't...so...no gag reflex”

“Oh, well no I guess I don't. Just never thought of that as something good” I giggle

“Babe, it's...like a birthday present and Christmas gift all rolled in to one if you ask me” he kisses me, ignoring fully that I still have the taste of him still in my mouth. “I don't even know how I'm going to be able to repay that but I sure as hell am going to give it my best” he says and he spins us around making him on top. He leaves kisses all down my body until he gets to my pussy. He eats me out like I'm the last meal he'll ever get. He doesn't stop until he's had me screaming his name three times. I don't even fucking know what planet I'm on by the time he crawls back up and pulls me in, spooning me and kissing my neck “Such a good girl, I love hearing you scream my name like that” he purrs in to my neck and I shiver out of pure bliss. If you would have told me this a few days ago I would have called you a crazy person, but now I'm having multiple orgasms screaming this guys name as he's knuckles deep in me. Fuck I screamed...

“Eddie...” I whisper.... “what about Steve” I blush

“Sweetheart, when Harrington's drunk and fallen asleep...nothing and I do mean nothing wakes him up” he chuckles

“You sure? I kinda need to use the bathroom” I say

“I'm sure, hurry back though. I wanna cuddle” he smiles as I get our of the bed putting a long t-shirt on. I open the door quietly peeking out in to the living room. Just as Eddie said, Steve's snoring away on the couch. Not a care in the world, a bit of drool on the side of his mouth. I smile and I tip toe to the bathroom, do what I came to do and head back to the bed room. Eddie's moved under the covers, he lifts them when he sees me coming. I pull the t-shirt off and I join him. It's warm an cosy under there. I wiggle up against him again and he puts his arm over me. Within minutes he's snoring softly behind me

“Eddie... I think I'm falling in love with you” I whisper quietly before closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Eddie's pov

I have no idea what I've done right in my life to deserve meeting this girl. But she's amazing, so innocent but god damn she's got a wild side to her. I can't wait to help her discover it. She sneaks off to the bathroom and I get up as quietly as I can and I peek out of the bed room

“Good job man, sounded like a home run for the both of you” I hear a whisper from the couch

“Shut up, if she finds out you heard us she's gonna die...” I whisper back

“Nah only heard the finish...she ain't discrete when screaming your name. Other than that I just put the pillows to my ears, tried to give you some privacy”

“Thanks dude... But you gotta look like you're sleeping again. She'll be back any minute” I whisper and I get a thumbs up from Steve and a great big smile. I knew he doesn't sleep to well when he's drunk. He wakes for nothing, but I thought that might scare her from ever wanting to do stuff if people are around again. I mean I want this girl any time, any place she'll let me have her. I get back in tot he bed and under the covers just in time before hearing the bathroom door close and her tip toeing back. She crawls in with me and wiggles that great ass against me with a happy sigh. I have a feeling she might be the kind of person to say things when they think no one's listening. I pretend to fall asleep. “Eddie... I think I'm falling in love with you” I hear in the darkness and my heart nearly stops. She's falling in love? With ME? I try to maintain my breathing to seem like I'm sleeping, but in reality all I wanna do is cry. No one's ever loved me, hell no one's ever fucking liked me. Maybe Chrissy did but I never got the chance to figure that out. How do I pretend I didn't just hear the best fucking sentence I've heard in my entire life? I mean... I know now. I could be the first to say it out loud to her...but is it too soon? She's sleeping now, I pull her closer and I whisper as quietly as I can “too late I loved you first” then I actually fall asleep for real.

Morning

I wake up to the smell of coffee coming from outside the door. I stretch and I feel Eddie stirring behind me. So it's not him? I sneak out of bed and I get dressed, I head out in to the living room. The TV's on at a low volume and a newly awake Steve is sipping coffee watching the morning news.

“Hey, sleep well?” I ask feeling myself blush a little

“Morning, yeah like a dead man. Hey where's Robin and Casey?” he looks at me, maybe he didn't hear us after all

“Uhm... we have no idea. They said they were going out on to the balcony to get some air and then they just disappeared...so I would guess Robin's place?” I say

“Wow, cool...well grats to them then. When did I pass out? By the way there's coffee if you want some” he says

“Aw great thanks! I think it was around midnight when you passed out.” I smile at him

“Fuck, great guest I am. Feel like a truck hit me, I drank a lot didn't I?” he chuckles

“Well...we got 1 tequila shot each...the rest was all you. Crying about being all alone and singing soppy love songs... But you know, you're charming so it's ok” I laugh and he looks mortified

“I though that was a dream” he groans and hides his face in his hands “your friend must think I'm a lunatic” he says

“I don't think she even realized you nor Eddie were even here after seeing Robin. But I think she liked you just fine, or you would have known. She's kinda vocal when she dislikes people” I say

“Morning there Sinatra” Eddie's in the door smiling at Steve

“Shut up Munson”

“Aw c'mon you were crooning so lovely for us. The crying was perhaps a bit excessive but other than that you were a gem Harrington!” Eddie laughs and he comes up to me kissing me on the head “is there more of that?” he nods at the coffee in my hands

“Yeah there is, thank Steve he's the housewife this morning” I say

“Thank you Mrs Steve” Eddie makes a face at Steve who just rolls his eyes at him.

“How about we try to see if the other two are alive and then we order pizza?” I suggest

“Absolutely, I can call Robin and you two can go get pizza” Steve says

Eddie gets his coffee then him and me go to get pizzas, drinks and snacks. When we return Robin and Casey has appeared again.

“Hello there” I say meaningly to Casey

“Hey...” she blushes, I don't think I've ever seen Casey blush before.

“So...did you guys fall of the balcony last night or what?” I smirk and Eddie chuckles

“Well...you know...we thought it was crowded enough here...” Casey doesn't know where to look

“You do realize I'm not mad right, I'm happy for you. Next time though, tell me if you leave” I hug her

“Ok...sorry” she smiles

“But you're good?” I whisper in her ear

“Fucking marvellous, she's perfect Kat” she whispers back and I'm so happy I could scream for her instead I hug her so tight her eyes nearly pop out

“So what happened here after we left?” Robin smiles

“That one passed out, and we had mind blowing sex” I say pointing at Steve, Eddie chokes on his pizza and turn full on beetroot

“Oh, well... with the exception of a passed out Steve...same” Robin says and now it's Casey's turn to turn in to a well cooked lobster.

“Well...ehmmm...thanks for sharing. Can we...like talk about just about anything else?” Steve clears his throat and we all laugh at him

“How about the concert you gave us?” Casey smiles at him “you don't sound half bad there dude. 4 out of 5 starts from the Indianapolis jury” she says

“Ok...maybe not ANYTHING else apparently...but thanks” Steve blushes

The rest of the day is spent eating snacks, talking, playing cards, making fun of Steve, watching a movie, making fun of Steve again and more eating. Casey has to leave by 8, it's the last bus going to Indianapolis. We all tag along to drop her off. She promises that she'll be back real soon, I think that promise was mostly directed towards Robin. We wave her off and then we drive Robin and Steve home. When we're alone again Eddie looks at me

“So how does if feel?”

“How does what feel?” I ask

“Life?” he smiles at me

“Amazing Eddie, I have friends. Like actual friends, not just singular any more. And I have you” I can't help a tear falling from my eyes

“Awww sweetheart, don't cry” he says stroking my face

“Happy tears Ed, nothing more ok” I say and I kiss him

The days pass, like the kind of life I've always dreamt of. I work, then at night I'm either at Eddie's or he's at mine. It's perfect, but I have this dread in me. I know the call will come, and I hate the thought of what she's going to say that will spoil this for me. Eddie senses something is really wrong when he picks me up from work on Wednesday afternoon.

“Hey, what's up babe? You've become more and more withdrawn. Is it me?”

“No, oh no sorry Ed... It's just...Laura will call. Probably today, and this is how I always feel, she's going to find a way to put me down I know it” I sigh

“I wouldn't worry” he says and I look at him confused

“What...are you thinking?” I say

“Let me answer the phone, ok?” he smiles

“Wow...ehm...ok. I guess...” I don't know what he's up to and I'm not sure I wanna be here when the reaction comes back in full swing. We head home and I make us dinner. I feel a little more relaxed, but also even more on edge but for a whole other reason. At 8 I think we're out of the woods, she's not calling tonight. But then, like she can read my mind the phone rings. I look at Eddie who just smiles at me and goes up to the phone and picks it up

“Hello, this is Eddie” he nods to me “yeah this is her phone” he smiles “who's asking?” I can almost SEE the horns growing out “I'm the boyfriend, who are you?” Boyfriend? He's my boyfriend? I look at him, he sees my amazed look and he blows me a kiss “well...I've heard a lot about you. Yeah don't get cocky none of it's good” his smile is devilish by now “well... I'd say 4 weeks now. Well who the fuck cares if she hasn't mentioned me. Considering what I've heard about you I'm not surprised” he's nodding, rolling his eyes. I can hear my sisters sharp voice on the other end “WOAH there bitchy, wanna calm that mouth of yours when talking about my girlfriend? Yeah well...she's not available at the moment” I hear yelling “do I sound like the kind of guy who gives a rats ass? I'M A BULLY? Lets get one thing straight here Laura, yeah I know your name. I have no good thoughts about you what so ever, and neither has your sister. So either grow some manners or don't bother calling. I can guarantee you'll be facing me every time” a big grin and he hangs up the phone. My brain is foggy and my mouth is dry

“I’m your girlfriend” like that's the thing to focus on...he just hung up in my sisters ear. There will be hell!

“Oh babe, sorry... I hope so” he looks down all guilty like he should have checked with me before calling me that. I jump at him wrapping both arms and legs around him kissing him fiercely.

“Guess what?” I say, cheeks rosy with excitement. Eddie shakes his head in amusement “I have a boyfriend” I grin and he laughs at me kissing me passionately

“Good for you, hope he's got better manners than that freak on the phone just now” he smiles

“Oh he's perfection” I coo

The phone rings again, I sigh. Eddie rolls his eyes. “Again?” he says

“Bet you it's mum this time” I say. Eddie puts me down and takes the phone again

“This is Eddie... Hello Mrs Smith... Yes I did speak to Laura a moment ago... Well ma'am I'm not sure if you're aware but your youngest daughter is quite a bitch to her sister... Well I don't care, she starts throwing names around I'm gonna get mad... Well 4 weeks ma'am... Yes I do ma'am” I'm watching him talk to my mum, a whole other attitude than the one with Laura “Well, maybe you can talk to Laura then ma'am. I'm not going anywhere and I will be quite protective of Kat, just sayin... Ok then ma'am you have a good evening also” he hangs up

“So... 4 weeks?” I ask

“Well I though that sounded like a better amount of time than us only knowing each other for a week and a half” he smiles

“And what is it you do?” I'm curious

“What?” he tries to look like he has no idea what I'm talking about

“You said 'Yes I do ma'am' so what is it you do? I need to know if it's something I need to remember if I talk to her” I say

“She asked if I love you...” he says looking at me

“She...” there's silence, my brain is trying to process what Eddie said.

“I...well... I said I do” he whispers

“You...do?” I croak

“Yeah, kinda fell head over heels first night. When we were here for dinner... I'm sorry if it's too soon” he mumbles, fiddling with the rings on his fingers

I...love you to Eddie. But be careful, I've had this boyfriend for 4 weeks now and he's crazy protective” I say taking Eddies hands in mine. He lets out a chuckle

“Sounds like an ass” he smiles

“Nah, he's pretty great actually”

This is going to be good, I see a bright future ahead. Brightest of all, Christmas in Seattle with Eddie. Oh I can't wait to unleash him on Laura. Life is pretty good when you find your people!

So this will get a part 2 at some point as soon as I’ve collected my ideas and put them in order :) Thanks for reading <3

[lubdubsworld]

Change of Heart ( Taehyungx OC)

Pairing : Taehyung x OC Werewolf AU!!

Genre : Romance, Explicit Content.

Warnings : None. ( Some mild violence but mostly off screen ) werewolf sex, ruts, knotting etc

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3/ Chapter 4

[ Summary :

Times are changing.

After years of being oppressed, werewolves are taking a stand against humans , demanding equal rights and fair treatment. Heading the movement is Kim Taehyung, the breathtaking heir to the Kim fortune and one of the few remaining Alpha werewolves in the country. His disdain for the human race is well known and well warranted. They killed his family after all…..

He wants to change the world , to put humans in their place but when his five year old daughter takes a shine to their very human neighbor , maybe he has to start with a change of heart , first.  ]

Chapter 5

I found myself breathing through my nose, woozy and incoherent as the doctor fussed over me. 

“This is looking pretty damn bad, Dr. Jeon...” He was muttering while Jungkook sat next to me gripping my hands. My throat went dry at the words, fear making my heart jackrabbit against my ribs. 

“The bullet’s hit pretty close to artery near the clavicle, she’s lost a whole lot of blood. “

“Seo Joon’s going to prison for this... “ Jungkook swore, stroking my palm as I tried to stay conscious. 

“Tell me I don’t have to stay in the hospital for a long time...” I begged, desperate. 

Jungkook rolled his eyes. 

“You got shot... It’s not a playground scrape, Mirae....” Jungkook sounded exhausted. 

I nodded.

“ Whats going on with my father? Seo Joon was pissed off about something with my father....” I said, remembering the reason the wolf had been so pissed in the first place. 

“We’ll talk about this later- You need to rest and-”

“Just tell me damn it!!” 

Jungkook sighed.

“Your father got called out for trying to sabotage the vaccine drive going on on the island and he played the whole, ‘ why would I sabotage something my daughter helped make...’ card on TV. It’s had an effect....” 

I swallowed.

“What do you mean by effect?”

Jungkook looked a little angry now. 

“Can’t we talk about this tomorrow...you’re bleeding and hurt ...you need to fucking rest...”

“What’s going on...?” I demanded. 

“The weres don’t want the vaccine anymore. They think...well they think you may have tampered with it....” He looked uncomfortable and I couldn’t comprehend what I’d just heard. 

I stared at him, my jaw going slack in shock. 

“I’m not.... I have nothing to do with the vaccine...that is so far above my paygrade..I’m a lab tech..... what even-” I was too outraged to even think clearly. 

“People don’t know that, Rae. All they know is that they have always associated your father with bringing harm to the were community and somehow his daughter is here working on something that has the potential to both hurt and heal.....”

I bit my lips.

“He’s not even my real father.” I choked out. 

Jungkook looked surprised at that. 

“What?”

“It’s true. He adopted me because he raped my mom and she fucking killed herself over it. I was eight years old at the time and the bastard did not want any loose ends...” The words came out , bitter and edged with anger but it was an old hurt. An old rage that had long faded into a blunt sort of ache. I had been so young. Too young to fully comprehend 

Jungkook looked completely stunned.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry....”

“He wanted me to marry one of his anti-were associates . That's literally all he raised me for. When I refused , he cut me off completely. I’ve literally been on my own for years now and my job is the only thing keeping me from dying on the  streets....”

I hissed when the nurse touched my shoulder , the physical agony of my shoulder somehow intensifying as the nurse moved to finish dressing the wound. I would have to wear a sling next but I couldn’t even fathom moving,   let alone sitting up for that ordeal. 

The nurse gave me a slight smile.

“Your ribs are bruised again , this time its going to take longer to heal because one of them actually has a hair line fracture.” 

Great. That explained the woozy breathlessness. 

“It doesn’t hurt much...” I said confused.

“That’s because you’re on enough drugs to fell a horse...I’m actually surprised you’re still conscious.” Jungkook shook his head. 

“It’s just the adrenaline...that and the fear of being fired.” I muttered. 

Jungkook laughed a little at that.

“Don’t worry about anything. Just rest for a while and we’ll talk tomorrow , yeah?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up to fingers in my hair, soft and gentle. 

My eyes fluttered open and I felt my breath catch when I saw who it was.

“Yuggie ??” I croaked out, my brother’s face coming into focus as I blinked back exhaustion.

“Welcome to the land of the living...” He said softly, keeping his fingers on my hair, stroking the strands back gently.

“What..... how did you get here so soon?” I whispered.

“You’ve been out for forty hours, baby....” He laughed a little and I blinked, 

“I....I got hurt.” I whispered bleakly. My shoulder was still throbbing and the pain in my rib was now a bit more prominent. I took a deep shuddering breath. 

“I’m glad you’re here.... “ I whispered, lifting shaky hands to hold his face. 

“Dad called me. He wants you to come back home.” 

I felt my entire body going cold, hands going clammy at once. 

“That’s not going to happen.” I said sharply and Yugyeom looked worried.

“He’s really upset , Rae. Kim Taehyung winning the election was not a part of his plan and he’s desperate to try and cover his ass before he gets carted off to prison.” 

I blinked at that.

“what do you mean by prison?” 

“We can’t talk about this here. He’s not allowed on the island. None of his cohorts are. So he’s been trying to get you transferred to a hospital in Seoul. Jeongguk was the one who called me. They’re holding off on the transfer but ....you know how dad gets.” 

I felt my head pound . 

“What does he want me for?” I whispered in disbelief. 

“I’m not sure. But I think you should at least go see him and find out what it is that he wants.”

I shook my head .

“I’m not going anywhere near him, I’m-”

The door swung open and I found myself jerking in surprise, the movement jostling my ribs and making me wince. I felt my eyes widen when I saw who it was, fingers scrambling to grab Yugyeom . 

“Dad...” He whispered, sounding terrified and I felt that familiar jolt of sickening fear . 

“There she is.... my precious little one.” My father’s eyes held no emotion as he stared at me, lips curled in a perfect smile. He looked so much like a good guy that it was nauseating. 

I took a deep shuddering breath. 

“the management here is terrible. I had to petition the fucking courts to get a permit to visit my own daughter.” He shook his head as he made his way over and I lurched away instinctively. 

“I’m taking you home now. Bout time you came back to me.” He smiled, chillingly and I shook my head. 

“No...thats not going to happen. I’m an adult, you cannot force me to...” 

“You are my daughter. And you will be my daughter till you live. Cha Eun woo is still single. He’s looking for a wife and you were promised to him a long, long time ago. “ 

“Dad.... she’s fucking hurt...she got shot like three days ago can you not do this right now...” Yugyeon had stood up, reaching out to actually shove my father away and he looked surprised for a second. 

He gave Yugyeom a glare but my brother didn’t back down, towering over my father easily. 

“Forgive me. I didn’t mean to sound insensitive but it just worries me that my only daughter is choosing to stay in an island full of beasts and getting mauled quite often . Isn’t this the second time you got attacked in that same cabin, by wolves?” 

“that doesn’t mean you can just offer me as a gift to one of your buddies.” I hissed. 

“He’s one of the richest men in Seoul....you should be on your knees thanking me for letting you so much as breathe near him.”

“Isn’t he a werewolf?” Yugyeom frowned in confusion. 

My father shrugged.

“I’ve since learned that your sister has a preference for them. Well if she’s going to spread her legs for an animal, better an animal I happen to hold the leash to....” He stared down at me with calculated cruelty. 

The crude words made nausea rise up in my throat and I almost dry heaved. 

“You’re not pimping me out to serve your own selfish purposes.” I shook my head. 

“He’s here. Outside. He’s going to stay here and he’s going to bring you back to his apartment in Seoul and you’re going to stay there with him. End of discussion. Yeom, I want you to come back to Seoul with me now. “

Yugyeom looked torn as he stared at me and I bit my lips. Yugyeom was still a kid, still in college. He couldn’t afford to antagonize my father.

“I’ll be fine. Go ahead.” I smiled. 

“I’ll send Eun Woo in.... “ My father nodded at me and then sighed. “ contrary to what you think, I don’t want you to hurt. I’m offering you a good life. Marry the fellow and spend your days lounging around in luxury. Thats hardly a punishment now, is it?” 

I turned my head away in disgust. 

Less than two minutes after he left, I felt a hand on my arm and I jolted.

“Mi Rae ssi.... I’m Eun Woo.” 

I glared at the man in front of me, barely looking at him. 

“I have no interest in being your wife.”

He looked bored at my outburst.

“I have no interest in indulging your  interests.  Your father is paying me handsomely to take you off his hands and that's all I’m doing. If you happen to be good at taking my knot, that's just gonna be a pleasurable bonus?” He pressed a thumb to my lips, stroking the skin in an almost gentle caress.  . 

A knock on the door made him pull away and I glanced up, relief flooding me when I saw it was Jungkook. 

“She’s going to have to rest now, Mr. Cha. Her father told me that he’s arranging her transfer to Seoul but that's going to have to wait for tomorrow at least. “ He was staring at the beta with narrowed eyes and Eun Woo bowed lightly. 

He shot me one leering glance before walking out casually.

“So...fiancee huh? You’ve been holding out on me...” Jungkook whispered thoughtfully and I flinched.

“Didn’t know he existed till five minutes ago..” I muttered. 

“Are you in trouble, Rae?” Jungkook looked worried and I hesitated, before shaking my head. 

“I’ll be fine. I can handle him. I just hate the thought of having to leave the preserve... even if its temporary. But I don’t want to annoy my dad right now... He’s... He can be irrational and i don’t want him to take it out on the Preserve and do something harmful to the research program itself , just to be petty.”

It was exactly the kind of thing he would do, too. My shoulder still had a lot of healing to do and it was unlikely that Cha Eun Woo would actually hurt me , at least till i got better. My dad, for all his anger was still rabidly protective of what he considered his. And i was definitely high on that list. 

“So you’re going then?” 

I caught the hint of disappointment in Jungkook’s tone.

“Aww....is my poor Jungkookie gonna miss me? If I weren’t sporting a broken rib and a messed up shoulder, I’d definitely, at least give you a handjob…” I waggled my eyebrows. 

Predictably, his eyes went wide , lips tinged fire engine red in a second. 

“Wha- Shut the fuck up, noona” He whined and I laughed. 

And then I sobered up when he sat next to me, linking his fingers with mine .

“I’m serious, Jungkook. I’m gonna be just fine. My dad’s upto something. If I stick close, I can at least figure out what he’s planning. I don’t want him to hurt you guys.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Right little firecracker his daughter is. So fucking pretty and man, those lips. I’d like to take a drink from that....” Cha Eun Woo gripped the shot glass hard, throwing back the whiskey with practiced ease. 

Taehyung struggled to keep his features neutral. 

“ Yoon Jae hyun’s daughter? From the preserve?” He had meant to sound casual but he sounded like he was being strangled. 

Eun Woo hummed.

“ Yeah....Her name is... Mirin....no wait ? Lirae? Mirae? ….. whatever. Poor thing. Apparently she has a tendency to get mauled by wolves too often. She was in bad shape when i saw her. “ 

Taehyung felt his heart lurch at that. He had wanted nothing more than to sink his jaws into Seo Joon’s throat, when he’d heard what had happened. If it weren’t for his abysmally packed schedule he would have rushed there as soon as he could. 

 As it was he had talked to a few of his acquaintances who were in prison. Seo Joon was going to go to prison and he wasn’t going to be coming out alive. 

“So, she just.,...agreed to marry you then?” 

“Not like she had a choice. The old man is going senile. Dude really thinks he stands a chance with his whole Reform Camps proposition. Wants to put weres in concentration camps.... What the fuck, are we in the middle ages..? He also thinks that betas are naturally resentful of Alphas or some shit. Kept feeding me crap about how you alphas want to subjugate the rest of us. Of course the fucker’s feeding into my Hotels and resorts so i just nodded along and agreed to his shit. Next thing I know he’s offering me his daughter in return to me being an ally in his campaign.. Figured I’d agree. See if i could get some inside dirt on him. I know you’ve been trying to bring him down for years, Tae...” Eun Woo gave him a reassuring smile. 

Taehyung felt a jolt of pride for the beta. Cha Eun woo had been a close friend of his from childhood and he knew he would never betray their kind. He had worked hard to earn his position as one of the biggest tech moguls in the country and he stayed true to his roots. Taehyung liked Eun Woo.

Admired him even....

But the idea of him touching Mirae.....

His claws nearly popped out at the mere thought of it. 

“And well if I get to fuck a nice little human bitch in the process, so be it right Taeh- Fuck!! “ Eun Woo jumped when Taehyung’s claw popped right out, shattering the beer mug in his hand and spraying both of them with the frothy liquid.

“Fuck...” Taehyung groaned and to his utter horror his fangs had dropped as well, his words slurring around the lengthened canines and he felt embarrassment flood his face. . When was the last time he’d popped a fanger in the middle of a fucking conversation....not since he’d been through puberty.

“Uh...you okay, pal?” Eun Woo looked worried now, beta eyes flashing green as he stared at him and Taehyung waved him off. 

“Be uh... Be careful with the daughter.” He muttered , trying to sound nonchalant. 

Eun Woo just waved him off. 

“Whatever , I know the type Tae. Likes a good, feral fuck from a wolf that knows how to give it to her good, you know?. Could smell her all over the alpha doctor who works there... Jungkook was it? Yeah... Girl gets around a lot, i could tell. And you can just tell that she’s going to be so fucking tight when you knot her you know, i mean human bitches always are but those hips just look like they-” Eun Woo stopped, stunned when Taehyung suddenly shoved the table away from him, hard. The older gripped the table and stood up on shaky limbs. 

“ I need to get going...” Taehyung fought the urge to shift, his wolf warring inside him, snarling at him to shift and leap across the table and devour the man across from them. To lock his fangs on the beta’s throat and rip his jugular out. 

 He’s threatening our mate...... He’s talking about what is ours....

The voice in his head was so clear and concise that he nearly blacked out at the very force of it. 

Eun Woo was saying something behind him but Taehyung was moving swiftly , stumbling to the bar where Jimin was taking one of the shifts.

“I need to go home...” Taehyung choked out. “ Call....fuck... Call my chauffeur.”��

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Pre rut symptoms....are you fucking serious...?” Taehyung growled at the doctor taking his vitals. the man, long used to Taehyung’s intimidatingly deep voice, merely hummed. The man had been one of his father’s dearest friends. And one of Taehyung’s most trusted confidantes. 

“You’re body believes you mate is around. A mate you haven’t yet claimed. It’s reacting to it.” 

Next to him Ji hyun was looking disturbingly excited.

“It’s not you.” Taehyung snapped at the tall woman who recoiled in shock. Taehyung felt momentarily bad but the truth was he had been trying to break up with Ji hyun for a month now. The model was just so shamelessly clingy it was getting to him. and he most certainly did not want her around if he was going into rut. 

What he wanted was a luscious, chestnut-haired human with ebony eyes and a scent like heaven. 

Fuck... he was burning up and his skin felt like it was stretched thin. 

“You need to leave Ji hyun. I want to talk to the doctor alone.” He demanded and the were bowed, moving out of the room quickly. Taehyung turned back to the doctor. 

“So what do I do?” He demanded. “ I don’t.... my mate died two years ago. “

The doctor sighed.

“She was not your mate. I told you that already. She tricked you. She was wearing your mate’s scent but it wasn’t hers...” The doctor shook his head. 

Taehyung growled. 

“I fucking know that..... And I’m gonna fucking bury Yoon Jae hyun into the ground for what he did to me..... But I need to have my senses about me if I want to do that...Him and his entire drug cartel is coming down.....But. That's not gonna happen if i go into fucking rut  now.. so close to me taking over office. So tell me how to fix this. “ 

“Who is the girl?” The doctor said casually. 

“What?”

“the girl who smells like your wife. Like your mate. Who is she?”

Taehyung sighed. 

“Its Yoon Jae hyun’s daughter.” He muttered. 

Dr. Lee’s eyebrows shot straight up to his hairline. 

“Oh no... do you think he .... again?” 

Taehyung shook his head. He had distanced himself entirely from Mirae just to make sure he wasn’t being pulled into another fucking trap. But so far , from what he learned, the drug did not work on humans. There was no way a human’s scent could be manipulated to fool his wolf.

And that meant that it wasn’t a trap at all. 

His wolf really did find a mate in a fucking human of all things. 

God, he couldn’t believe the sheer irony of this. 

“it doesn’t work on humans. It is her scent. She’s... She’s the one I want.... “ He groaned. 

The doctor chuckled.

“ You mean, she’s the one your wolf wants?” 

Taehyung frowned.

“Isn’t that what i said?” 

“No, you said she’s the one you want and it makes me wonder.....do you perhaps....care for the girl?” 

Taehyung shook his head swiftly.

“I barely know her...she...she used to look after Luna. “ He finished. 

“Luna...? Interesting. “ The man’s words carried a hint of amusement and Taehyung felt his hackles rise. 

“ What does that tone mean?” 

“I’m just saying.... You don’t let people watch Luna that easily. You’re fiercely protective of your daughter. If you let this girl watch her, you must trust her at least.” 

Taehyung sighed. 

“I.. of course i trust her …. she’s a good girl.  A good....person...” 

“ I would suggest spending your rut with her. Claiming her if she’s interested. With you being you, I doubt she’s going to refuse.” The older man’s eyes fairly twinkled, 

“I’m not knotting her when I’m on my fucking rut …” He snapped. “ I’ll likely break her in two. “ 

The doctor chuckled. 

“It wouldn’t be a very pleasant experience for her, yes. But ….there's no reason why you can’t make it enjoyable for her. “ His tone turned gentle and more serious. “ Listen to me Taehyung-ah...… There is a reason wolves mate for life. We are not meant to be alone. If your wolf has found a mate, he’s not going to let you function till you claim her. That's just the way our body’s are built. You need to talk to her. Make some sort of arrangement. You have three weeks at the most before your rut hits and trust me you don’t want to be alone when that happens. “ 

Taehyung felt his insides churn at the prospect. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“No fucking shit.... You couldn’t have just told me that instead of letting me mouth off about her like that ? “ Eun Woo groaned , watching Taehyung with guilty eyes. 

Taehyung brushed him off. 

“It’s fine. I just.... can you just...keep her at your place till she gets better. I’m ...not in a good headspace right now and i don’t want to hurt her. she needs to recover.”

Eun Woo nodded.

“The doctor says three weeks and she’ll be fine. I’m a bit busy myself so I’ll just arrange for her brother to pick her up. Her dad’s busy meeting some suppliers. I sent the details to your men.... Did they get it?” 

Taehyung nodded. 

“The guy’s a bigger idiot than i thought. He’s actually met a few of these dealers himself. We just need one of them to ID him and he’s going to get locked up for life.” 

Eun Woo nodded.

“Everything by the book, Tae. We stick to the laws....no  bloodshed without cause and no one gets hurt. He likes to hide behind the fucking law when he’s trying to destroy our entire species , we’re gonna use that same ;law to rail him to the ground .” 

Taehyung grinned. 

“ Not just on the ground, Eun Woo. I’m gonna be putting him six feet under.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The recovery from my shoulder was surprisingly easy compared to the bruise on my ribs. Movement was difficult and it definitely hurt but my pain threshold had definitely gone up. It helped that Cha Eun Woo had stayed away from me and Yugyeom was on a three week break . We crashed out at his apartment and It was like being a kid again. 

We spent the days lounging by the indoor pool or playing video games. Yugyeom was a great cook and he liked cooking. 

Two and a half weeks after I had moved in, I was finally out of the sling. The physiotherapist visited me at the apartment and after making me move my hands well, she gave the go ahead to start my normal routine ahead. 

“I still want you to take it easy. Your ribs are healed and so is your shoulder but no roughhousing.... I’m only saying that because i know how it is i when siblings live together.” She smiled and I laughed, nodding. 

“I’ll make sure she’s resting well, noona.” Yugyeom said seriously. 

I closed the door as the doctor left, smiling as I watched Yugyeom trip over my sling on the couch, when the doorbell rang again.

Surprised , I turned back tot he door.

“ Did you forget something, Unnie-?” I froze in shock. 

Kim Taehyung stood leaning against the wall, looking like he had run all the way from his home across the city. 

“Taehyung-ssi?” I stammered out, taking in the untucked shirt, sweat drenched hair and flashing red eyes .

“I’m.... I fucked up.” He whispered, eyes fluttering shut. It took me a second to realize that he was falling and instinct made throw myself under him, holding my hands out to catch him. 

Pain shot straight up my shoulder as it took the entire brunt of his weight. The pain only lasted a second though, because Yugyeom was shoving me out of the way and grabbing the taller alpha by the waist.

“Holy shit....is this Kim Taehyung?” He looked awestruck as he stared at him and I felt my heart race. Taehyung seemed conscious but his breathing was raspy. 

I pressed my palm against his cheek and his eyes fluttered open .

“I’m... I need you.” Taehyung growled right at me. 

Yugyeom froze next to me and I felt my throat go dry. 

“I... sorry?” I squeaked out. 

“You...need you....under me... fuck...” 

“What the fuck, Rae?” Yugyeom hissed , face turning red as he tried to maneuver the alpha werewolf to the couch . 

I stayed frozen, having no idea what the fuck was going on.

Taehyung scrambled to a sitting position on the couch, gripping the cusions and he was paniting, his eyes wild as he stared right at me. 

“Mine.” His voice was ten times deeper than usual, fairly vibrating with power and Yugyeom went completely still. He was shaking as he reached for me, the terror evident in his face. 

“Oh, shit... Rae...is he....? Fuck , is he -” My little brother sounded terrified and I pulled him behind me. 

Taehyung’s eyes flashed red again and then they shifted to my brother. His gaze narrowed and his mouth opened. 

There was a split second when I knew exactly what was going to happen and I whirled around , grabbing Yugyeom and shoving him straight into the hallway leading to the front door.

“ YUGGIE, RUN!!!”  I screamed with all my might, and behind me Taehyung let out a vicious growl, pouncing across the room at my brother. Yugyeom managed to avoid him by a hairsbreadth and instinct made him move faster to the door but he stopped near the door looking terrified but torn. 

“ Rae...come with me,...come...” 

I stared at the alpha on the floor, my heart racing. 

Taehyung was clearly fighting against the wolf in him, trying to stay down, on his knees, fingers gripping the carpet to ground himself but the little growls that he let out told me that it was a fight he wasn’t winning. He looked up at me and there was so much pain and contrition in his gaze that I felt my heart break. 

“I’m...sorry...” Taehyung gasped out eyes fluttering shut. He was panting harder now, fingers clenched into fists around the carpet and voice ragged. i looked up at my baby brother and he looked so young and scared that I couldn’t stand it. 

“Its okay.... just go... I’ll be fine...he won’t hurt me... Just go...” I whispered desperately and Yugyeom shook his head.

“No... No... you’ve got to come with me... Rae...Noona....”

He never called me noona. I realized just how scared he was and tried to comfort him, but wary of going near him, lest Taehyung attack him again. 

“Yugyeom listen to me carefully. He’s on his rut. He’s not gonna hurt me, he just thinks I’m his mate. If you stay here he’s going to see you as a threat, so you need to leave..If I come with you he will hunt us down....I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself. You just need to go.” 

Yugyeom nodded, moving to the door and I turned back, feeling my stomach clench when Taehyung’s claws came out, tearing through our rug with ease. 

I heard the door shut behind me and I stayed perfectly still. 

Taehyung was still trembling and he finally looked up at me. Now that we were alone he was distinctly calmer. 

“I shouldn’t have come here.” He rasped out. 

I nodded. 

“So why did you?” I asked, staring at him as he stumbled to his feet. 

“You smell ....fuck you just smell like. ....like...”

“Like your wife, yes.” I muttered . “ So you want me to be stand in for your wife tonight?” 

Taehyung’s eyes shot up to stare at me. 

“My wife .... she worked for your father.” He choked out.

I straed at him, the blood running cold in my veins. 

“What?”

“Your father hired her.... to get rid of me. She... used a drug . A drug that confuses a wolf’s senses. Makes the wolf think he’s found his mate. Wolves cannot hurt or live without their mates. Its important to us.  She...She got pregnant on the night we mated and by the time I found out she was already carrying Luna and there was nothing I could do....I couldn’t...it wasn’t even a fucking bond.... I couldn’t sense her...couldn’t feel her...couldn’t muster any kind of affection for her but ... but she was carrying my baby and I just couldn’t bring myself to send her away......”

“Taehyung...” I whispered, remembering how Luna had talked about her father not liking her mother. 

“Its not natural for a wolf my age to be without a mate. But ....that scent ....I... I never picked up on it with anyone else till I... “ He sighed. 

“Till you met me.” 

“Till I met you.” 

I stared at the floor. 

“I’m not.... I’m not actually in rut yet. It’s still a day or so away. i didn’t want to come here but.... I’m supposed to be taking over the office in three days. When I do, I can finally use my position to bring your father down. He is using his drug dealers and suppliers to mess with our biology and its ...something sacred to us. Wolves mate for life and to make a wolf doubt his ability to choose his mate is the worst kind of sacrilege.....”

“What do you want me to do?”

He stared at me....

“If I go into rut and I don’t have.... my mate ...it’s going to fuck me up. I don’t wanna go into the gory details but I most certainly will not be able to take over the office. ” He laughed without mirth. 

There was nothing else to be said , was there?

“You have no right..... asking me to do this.....” I whispered , angry . 

“I know.... I know and if you say no, I will walk out this door and you will never see me again.” 

I laughed. 

“I think you came here because you knew. “

He didn’t respond.

“You fucking knew I wouldn’t be able to say no to you. ��� 

His gaze was steady as he stared at me.

“I’ll take care of you.... I won’t...this isn’t a one night stand or a no strings attached thing, Rae..... You will be mine. I’ll be yours. “ 

“And yet, your eyes tell me that there is nothing you hate more, than standing here asking me to be your mate......” I said bitterly.

He didn’t deny it. 

“Will you come with me , then?”

I stared at his handsome face , the surreal beauty of it. And I thought of my father and how he wanted only to destroy anything that he didn’t understand. If Taehyung was going to bring my father down , I wasn’t going to be the thing that stopped him from doing it. 

“Let me get my clothes.” 

AUTHOR’S NOTE : IT WAS EASIER GIVING BIRTH THAN WRITING THIS FIC 

just kidding i love werewolf tae. Please let me know what you thought uwu

[acourtofsnakes]

Mesh’la - Rogue, Chapter 18| The Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader (f)

(I know the gif is Javi, but there aren’t exactly many Mando gifs that would fit this chapter.. I’ve also had this for a while so let me know if its yours and i’ll tag you♥︎)

Summary: After Din’s revelation, walls that have been crumbling for a while, finally break. 

Warnings: 18+ Swearing, smut, cunnilingus/fingering(f receiving),unprotected sex,  p in v sex, flufffffffff finally. Let me know if I forgot anything!

AN: I have nothing to say but… enjoy. 

Word count: 7.6k +

Rogue Taglist:  @snipskixandbeskar​   @weirdowithnobeardo​ @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @jackgrzs @sarahjkl82-blog @boomtownboy @goldielocks2004 @seninjakitey @what-iwish-you-knew @queenofthefaceless @rosiefridayrogersunday @greeneyedblondie44 @itsnottilly @welcometothepedroverse @xgoldenjenny @heyitsjaybird @mamacitapascal​

Rogue Masterlist | Introduction| 1: Solus| 2: Arir | 3: Tor | 4: Gaa'tayl | 5: Kyr’am | 6: Cabur | 7: Ret'urcye Mhi | 8: Haran| 9: E’tad | 10: Tome | 11: Aliit ori'shya tal'din| 12: Mar’eyce | 13: Kov’nyn| 14: Ne’tra| 15: Or’dinii| 16: Dar| 17: Haalur| 18: Mesh’la

Mando’a Translation: Mesh'la - beautiful

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Those three little words echoed around your mind, bouncing around the walls of your conscious and then travelling down to your heart where they curled up there, settled into the space that had been carved out for Din, long before you met him. 

“You…” Your voice broke a little, so you cleared your throat and tried again, talking over the splash of the water that was no doubt going to turn cold any moment. “You love me…?”

Din was breathing heavily, the wet fabric of his clothes pulling over his chest and he nodded. “Yes. I love you.” His voice was still soft, but imploring you to understand him, to listen and stop saying such things about yourself. “I… I’ve loved you for a long time, sweetheart.” 

Well.

His words rendered you… sort of speechless for a moment. 

He loved you. 

Din had loved you for “a long time”. 

Just as you had loved him. 

You blinked up at him, water rolling down your hair, making beads over your skin as steam floated about the small space. It probably wasn’t doing his helmet any good, but there was no way either of you could leave this moment. “I… I had no idea...” 

Din laughed, it wasn’t cruel, it was more a sort of exhausted laugh, yet there was a level of love in it, “I know… You’re the most intelligent person I know, and you could talk your way out of anything... but when it comes to noticing what’s right in front of you…” His voice was a little teasing, “You are a little blind, princess.”

Despite the revelations and the shock – and elation - screaming through you, you did have to pout. “You can’t blame me… How was I supposed to know?”

Din leant against the wall, “Well, I know this…” He tapped his helmet, “Makes things a little difficult but…” He huffed a little, “I didn’t really know it myself at first. It wasn’t until people started to mention it… I realised that everything I’d been feeling...” Din seemed to stumble a little over his words again. “For weeks… I… I’ve just... needed to be close to you. After I sent you to Nevarro, I met Haran for the first time on Tatooine. He told me he knew who you were, that he was coming after you and I only had a week. I was… I felt something I haven’t felt in a long, long time. True fear. And when I got into that cantina… and I saw him sitting there with you…” Din shook his head, looking down. “I wanted to kill him. And then you started shouting at me…” He laughed a little, “You always have such a fire in you when you’re pissed at me… It’s like flying into the sun.” 

You couldn’t help the soft laugh of your own, “I’d say I’m sorry but…” 

He lifted his head, tilting it and you could feel his eyes on you through the visor, “Then I’d know that fall had done more damage than it already has.” The laughter visibly drained from his body, his voice, “I thought I’d lost you… You were…” He seemed to almost choke on the words, “You were dead. In my arms. Your heart wasn’t beating… You were just… gone.” His voice broke and he sucked in a breath. “My whole world stopped.” 

The feeling of darkness, of those icy bands wrapping around you and filling your lungs washed over you, and you shuddered. You wouldn’t be forgetting the feeling of having the air crushed from your lungs for a long, long while. 

You could only imagine what it was like for Din, having to pull you out. Having to coax your broken body into living again…

“I tried and tried, but… it just wouldn’t work. You were dead.” His voice was stricken, haunted and you had a feeling you might be waking up to Din’s nightmares soon too. 

He sucked in a hitched gasp of his own, touching his helmet like he would run his fingers through his hair – his hands were shaking, almost violently and he curled them into a fist.

“All I could think was... how am I supposed to go on? I let you down, in the worst way possible. I let you slip away, I let him take you and hurt you and then you died... without... without seeing my face, without knowing what keeps me up at night, the things I so desperately want to say to you. That threaten to come out every time I see and... and I have to change the subject or leave because I look at you and I just...” He lifted his head again, watching you, his chest heaving, “Lose my mind. Lose everything I know. It all just fills with you. And then I don’t know which way is up or where to go that isn’t by your side. I want to be there, all the time. I want to hear the way you think, I want you to shout at me when I annoy you. I want to watch you play with the kids and get them to do things when they don’t listen to me. I want to see the world through your eyes, see the beauty in every single thing.” 

You couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything but let these words, this outpouring wash over you and listen to the way he’d been feeling for… months. 

“And to know that you would have died without knowing that, without me being able to tell you just how much you mean to me, how much I need you in my life and I want to protect you. How you make me a better man and-” He made a little noise, like he was winded. 

“Din.” You limped across to him, cupping the jaw of the helmet, “Din, breathe.” There were tears rolling down your cheeks, your mind reeling at his sweet, meaningful words, but he was going to send himself into some kind of attack in a minute. You slid your hands down to rest on top of his shoulders, feeling the broad strength beneath the fabric. 

At your touch, even with the layers, he groaned like he was in pain. “Whenever you touch me… I feel like I’m burning. Like… electricity is searing through me. It makes me feel alive. I… Mandalorian’s don’t really… we don’t really experience touch.” He motioned loosely to his armour, being careful not to bump you – or move you away. “We don’t get to feel the breeze on our hair… or the sun on our skin. We don’t feel a casual touch or a hug or… anything.” He sounded a little hesitant, speaking such words that he would never, ever have previously said aloud before. His tone was a little jagged and stilted, like he was torn between keeping the anonymity of the Mandalorian’s and telling you everything.

“But… When I feel your touch, your skin… It’s like... I’m feeling everything all at once.” He lifted his hand, brushing wet, gloved fingers down your cheek, but the touch still ignited you, “That night I felt your hair... and when you had your nightmare… I thought I was going to die. From how you felt around me, the way you were so… ready… ” Another ragged hitch of breath. 

You turned your head into his touch, goosebumps rising over your skin, “So, touch me again.” 

Din’s fingers stilled, and you almost heard his heart thud, “I… what?” 

You lifted your hand, brushing your fingertips over the edge of his gloves, “Touch me.” You looked up at him, heat coiling in your belly, your very soul, “Din, touch me. Please.” Desire and pleading coloured your voice, your expression. A wildness came over you, and you shed yourself of your torn top, leaving just the thin bandeau around your chest. 

Din’s hands curled into fists as you took off your top and he looked at you, your lips parted, your cheeks flushed, desire burning through your eyes and darkening them. 

“Close your eyes.” His voice was husky and rough, equally desperate for you. 

Without a hesitation, you obeyed, squeezing shut your eyes, barely able to restrain yourself. 

You heard the sound of leather on skin, two wet plops on the floor and you expected Din’s touch on your skin but… instead, you heard him pick up your top. 

A soft ripping noise was heard over the water, and then you felt the sodden fabric against your closed eyes. He was tying it behind your head, like a blindfold. “Din, what are you…” 

“Shhh, cyar'ika.” There were some sounds you couldn’t identify and then… 

Then the sound of air hissing – a little bubbly -, and then something hard and metallic being set down on the floor, then the wet plop of his top. 

Your heart stopped. Everything stopped. 

Something hard. 

And metallic.  

Oh, Maker and all the stars above. 

“Din…” You whispered his name this time, your heart suddenly pounding a frantic beat in your chest, your neck, your wrists. Heat flooded across your body, your skin tightening in anticipation and it was a little harder to breathe. 

He’d taken off his helmet.

You heard footsteps, and then Din’s hands cupped your cheeks, big, a little rough and always so warm. “Princess…” He whispered it back, and you had the sense of him coming closer. 

The first brush of his lips consumed you. 

They were a little chilly, but plush and unimaginably soft. And there was a scratchiness on your lips…

Oh, by the Maker, he had a moustache… That did things to you. Things that resulted in heat and warmth between your legs. 

Din moved those lips over your own, like butterfly wings, checking you were okay with this. 

Like he wasn’t the one who had just removed his helmet for the first time, properly around you. Like you weren’t standing there with just a piece of torn cloth shielding your eyes. You could easily reach up and swipe it away and see his true face. 

But you would never do such a thing. 

Never even think of it. 

And he knew that, which is why he trusted you so much. 

It made your heart ache, in the best way. 

But this soft kissing… it wasn’t enough. 

You angled your head more into his, his rough hands still cupping your jaw and you kissed him with a little more pressure. Your hands reached up, fingertips brushing his bare shoulders and then you dropped them to his waist instead, and you grasped his hips, letting him know he could let go, that you needed him to let go as well. 

Din made a little noise against your lips, and by the way he went still, you just knew it was with restraint. You could feel that tidal wave inside him, cresting and so close to crashing back down. 

You wanted it. No… you needed to consume you both. 

Needed him to consume you. 

You pulled back mere millimetres, just enough to whisper, “Din… Let go…” You brushed your hands along the sodden fabric of his trousers, your thumbs brushing the bare skin of his hips.  

That simple touch, that whisper of a caress on such previously untouched skin melted any restraint within him. 

With a noise like a moan and growl all in one, he pulled you closer. His mouth came down on yours, kissing you with a sudden fierce intensity that seared through you. 

It broke your own walls, and you curled your fingers into his belt, rising up on tiptoe and matching his frantic pace. 

Within seconds, his tongue lightly traced your lips, and when you parted for him, he moaned low in the back of his throat, that proper taste of you nearly bringing him to his knees. 

The press of his hot tongue against your own was a blessing, a curse, and a damnation all in one. 

He tasted like… like cool water on a hot day, like fresh tea in the morning, like the best chocolate cake, all rolled into one and topped with his distinct, smokiness that clung to him. 

Din’s arms snaked around your waist, sliding up your back, holding you into his body but it wasn’t close enough, not enough for how long this had been building between the two of you. 

That intense heat never failed to take over, whether you were teasing each other, arguing, or doing delicious things like this. 

It had been there from that very first moment on Sorgan. 

You took the initiative, summoning the strength that had been building again and you pressed against him, pinning him to the wall just behind so you could lean your full body weight into him, so you could feel every inch of his body against yours. 

It was heavenly, the feel of his bare skin, so new to you, against your own and the contact made your eyes roll back into your head a little bit. 

He was solid, warm, and so familiar beneath your body, that every cell just cried out for more, no matter how close you were. 

Din made a choked noise of his own, his entire body shaking with all the contact, a sensation he had never felt for years. It was like stepping into the sunlight for the first time, like sinking into hot water, or being electrocuted. 

You felt him shaking against you, felt the ragged drag of his breath and you pulled back from his lips, “Din, if this is too much-“ 

He shook his head, chasing your kiss, his voice almost tortured, “No, don’t. Don’t stop, please. I… Just don’t stop.” He gasped a little, bringing his mouth back to yours. 

You needed him, needed him in body, soul and mind and wanted to burn with him forever. 

A torn sound of need escaped against his lips as you fought his tongue for dominance, tracing your tongue over his teeth. 

Din groaned, his hands leaving their roaming over your back, just long enough to slide down over your ass and the backs of your thighs. He grasped them, bending his own knees and he picked you up, winding your legs around his waist. 

He brushed against your core, and your moans of unison echoed over the pounding of the water. He rocked his hips against yours, the friction pressing against your burning heat, the rub of every hard in of him. He needed you, as much as you needed him and you were prepared to ask him, beg him to take you right here in the ‘fresher, against the wall…

Except, it chose that moment to go absolutely, completely, ice cold. 

You squealed, pulling away from Din and ducking your head into his shoulder, trying to hide from the icy spray that was now hitting mostly the back of your head and neck. “Fuck me, that’s cold!” 

From somewhere above you, Din burst into a chuckle, “Hang on, princess.’ His voice was low and husky, and only heated you even further, the icy water having no effect in diminishing the fire. 

He turned off the taps, and the sudden silence was almost as loud as the water had been. 

He gingerly stepped from the wet floor, holding you against his body still and he fumbled with one hand before a towel was swathed around your body. “Let’s get you warmed up.” 

I can think of way you can warm me up.

There was a soft snort, and you knew your face had given away that thought, even with the blindfold. You rested your head back against Din’s neck, allowing him to carry you back to your room, just relishing in the feeling of being held by him – in more ways than one.

He made his way expertly through the ship, his feet making wet squelches on the floor that had you giggling. 

By the time the doors to your room opened, you were both laughing, cheeks flushed and hearts stumbling over each other. 

Din set you down carefully, his hands on your upper arms and the laughter faded away into something much more intense and serious. 

You could feel his eyes on you, dragging over your skin like he was taking in every single inch. His breathing was ragged, his touch searing through your skin and warming your very bones. It occurred to you that you knew this man, inside and out. You could tell the change in his mood from his breathing, the tenseness of his body or what his head tilts meant. 

You hadn’t seen his face, or any of his skin and yet… you felt like you knew him deeper than that, deeper than just what was on the surface. You could locate him in a dark room, from the sound of his breathing alone. 

And he knew you too. 

He always had. 

His warm, broad hands brushed up your arms, over your shoulders, tracing a path. “Are you okay?” The rough cadence of his voice told you that he was holding back, everything in him that was still threatening to come out. But he was making sure you wanted this, wanted to cross the wall that had been crumbling ever since that night you broke down. 

One word from you, and he would haul that wall back up and it would be fine. 

Your lips parted at his touch and his voice, desire and a need for him coiling in your belly. You wanted to be close to him, to feel his skin on yours, his touch, map his body blindly and just… Rise to the stars and never fall back down, wrapped in him and everything he had bought to your life. “Yes… I want this… Din, I want you-”

No sooner had you finished talking, Din made a noise low in his throat and then he was on you, his hands sliding up your neck to your jaw, framing it in his hands like you were something precious and rare, and then his warmed lips came down upon yours. They were soft at first, dancing against your own with an almost shyness. And then it changed, his tongue brushing over your lips and then slipping inside your lips when you granted him permission. 

His tongue danced with your own, and just the brush of his facial hair and the taste of him could have brought you to your knees. You moaned low, arching your body into him so you were pressed against his tall, broad frame, the bare skin of his belly and the tickle of his happy trail only making you wetter. 

As you battled for dominance in the kiss, Din walked you backwards, pulling from your mouth with a tug to your lip and then he was planting kisses along your jaw, trailing them to your ear where he sucked your earlobe gently, earning a breathy moan in return. 

He pushed you gently toward the bed, but not before pressing soft kisses down your neck – and then tracing back up the line of your throat with his tongue. 

You felt that stroke of his tongue everywhere, the wet heat of it searing a line straight down your spine and you cried out a little, hand flying up to the back of his head to grip his hair by instinct. 

And you froze. 

You hadn’t asked for permission to touch him – if it was even okay, if he wanted you to. “Din, I – I’m sorry.” Your voice was choked with need, your fingers loosening. 

“No!” Din shook his head rapidly, “No, keep it there – I... Touch me. Please.” His voice was hoarse again, his words hot and desperate against your throat. 

His repetition of his words from the ‘fresher assured you it was okay, and you wound your fingers back into his hair, curling the locks around your fingers as he mouthed over your skin, dragging his teeth, “Din, I need you...” 

The edge of the thin cot hit the backs of your thighs, and he pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek, “I know, sweetheart...” He kissed underneath your chin, then the hollow of your throat, “I’ve needed you, for so, so long...” His lips trailed lower, ghosting over your collarbones where he paused for a second, tracing a hot, wet line along them with his tongue again, “I think since the moment you tried to kill me on Sorgan.” The trail of lips moved over your chest, then your left breast, on the fabric of your bandeau, “When you teased me every moment after…” His words resounded with your soft, breathy moan, and he moved to the right, “And on Nevarro…”

He groaned a little, slowly sinking lower and his hands came up to your sides, as he bit gently on the skin of your belly, “Those words that came out of your mouth on Nevarro… You were killing me, you were seeing right into my head and telling me my dreams, like you knew them.” His tongue darted out, tracing a circle around your belly button and a shudder ran through you. 

You dropped your hands to his shoulders, needing more grip and balance. And there was more than enough. You knew his shoulders were broad, but fuck, actually holding them was a completely different story. 

Stars, you were going to fall apart and all he was doing was kissing you. 

“You have no idea how much I wanted to do those things, how long I’ve wanted to… but… Most of all, I wanted this. To be able to take my time, and explore,” He kissed underneath your belly button, his facial hair scratching gently on the sensitive skin, “Every…” his hands slid down to grasp the belt loops of your trousers, and the waistband of your underwear, “Single…” He slid them both down over your hips, exposing your bare skin to him, “Inch,” He dropped down to his knees as your trousers reached your ankles, and he helped you out of them, “Of your body first.” He sat back on his knees, his voice sounding hoarse and choked again. “Look at you…”

Through the thin fabric of the blindfold, you could just make out the silhouette of him on his knees in front of you, a faint outline of his broad shoulder, a fuzzy outline of curly hair. 

Your knees were trembling in anticipation, in fact your whole body was trembling as he just… admired you.

On his knees, worshiping you for the warrior goddess he believed you were. 

His fingertips danced up your calves, your knees, grasping the backs of your thighs and then you felt his nose against your skin, his hair tickle your lower belly and then, finally, the press of his lips on your wet heat, but too soft, too gentle. 

A ragged gasp emerged from your throat, and you lifted your hand back to his hair, pushing him closer, “Din.” You didn’t care how pleading your voice was, but you needed more than soft kisses. 

A low chuckle rumbled against your sensitive bundle of nerves, and he nudged his nose to them once more before his hands tightened on your thighs. 

The first brush of his tongue elicited a cry of relief from your lips, echoing with Din’s appreciative half growl at your taste, at how wet you were for him. He went in after that, dragging his tongue through your folds in broad strokes, like he already couldn’t get enough of you. “Shit, you taste...” he groaned again, burying his face further between your thighs, his tongue probing your entrance before sliding back up between your folds again. 

You already couldn’t breathe, the moan getting caught in your chest and resulting in a soft, high whine and you leant into his touch, arching your spine. Letting your head drop back, you could do nothing but feel the hot stroke of his tongue, licking every inch of you. 

He tilted his head back just slightly for a better angle, circling your clit with the tip of his tongue and your legs shook again, aching as they held you up and trembling.  

“Din, wait-” You reluctantly tugged his head back, then half collapsed back onto the bed, and Din followed you like a magnet. He remained on his knees at the edge of the bed, and hooked one of your legs over those sinful shoulders, allowing him a better angle, a deeper angle to devour you like he was starving. 

He pressed his tongue flat against you, before sucking on your clit with an intensity that made the room spin. It was like he was pulling electricity through your veins, making every nerve stand to attention, wait for his command. 

You dropped your back onto the bed, both hands fisting into his hair and your hips rocking upwards against his lips. There was an ache within you, you wanted to feel more of him, needed just a little more – 

Like always, he read your mind, and mere seconds later, he was sinking two long fingers into you, curling them up exactly as he had that night. Exactly as he knew you liked. 

“Fuck, Din-” You keened his name softly, hips moving to match the pace as he pumped his fingers in out, curling them up into that spot that he found so easily. 

He heard every noise you made, every reaction of your body and adjusted his pace and pressure in response, tucking away your reactions so he would always remember what you liked the most. 

His rhythm wasn’t perfectly balanced, but it altered according to you. He learned fast and made sure that every single action provided the best possible feeling for you. 

And stars above did he do a good job. 

That electricity and fire was curling tense in your lower belly, singing through every inch of your soul. You were so desperate for him, your body crying out for him so badly that he had taken you to that edge already. “You… Shit, keep going, just like that…” 

Din switched pace so fast you didn’t register it at all. One minute, his lips were sucking at your clit, his fingers stroking you – and the next, his tongue was pushing inside you and his fingers were on your bundle of nerves instead, drawing rapid circles and figures of eight that made you fully arch up off the bed. 

“Din!” You cried his name, your whole body crying his name actually. It just felt so good, so devastatingly good that you weren’t sure how you were supposed to not want to do this all the time. 

Your back arched further, your fingers wound so tightly in his hair as you shamelessly rode your hips to his rhythm, chasing down your high that he was holding you above. You knew you must be hurting his head, but he didn’t seem to mind, if anything, it was spurring him on, knowing that you needed to hold onto something to try and contain the pleasure. 

His hands shifted to your hips, not to hold you down, but to pull you in closer, so he could bury his tongue deeper inside you, his own moans and growls of pleasure vibrating through the soft flesh. His stubble and moustache scratched against your sensitive skin, and that in itself was herding your body closer and closer to the edge, dangling you over. 

Words were beyond you, the hot press of his tongue inside your walls was something you could never forget, and as he curled his tongue upward, brushed against that spot and pressed his fingers down harder, light exploded across your eyes. 

The heat of your pleasure seared through every inch of your body, taking over with a pleasant hum, rendering you almost helpless as his name fell from your lips again and again. 

Din didn’t stop, working you through your orgasm with that same pace, until your hips stopped rocking, your fingers relaxed in his hair and you could see again.

“Fucking hell…” You mumbled the words, shivering as Din cleaned you up, soft gentle strokes with a husky chuckle. 

He pressed kisses back up your body, allowing you to catch your breath but by the time he reached your lips, and you tasted yourself on his tongue, you were ready, needing him again. 

And by the hard line of his trousers, you knew he must be too. 

As soon as his lips touched yours, you kissed him with fierce intensity. Your hands roamed down his back, mapping over his scars and bruises, painting an image in your mind of the man you loved, bringing him to life in the darkness. 

He groaned into your mouth as you slipped your hands between your bodies, feeling the tenseness of his stomach muscles, layered with a softness that showed his age – which you absolutely adored. 

This man wasn’t some young, bumbling fool. He was mature, devoted, and you loved every single inch of him. And he had never been touched like this before. 

Sure, he’d had sex – as you found out one slightly drunken night when you were asking each other questions – but you knew that it was just… a release. No touching, no armour off, maybe not even his gloves. 

Who knows how long it had been since this man had been touched like this on his bare skin, with love and passion? You could easily guess it was the same amount of time as you – longer. 

And… you were the first person. 

The first person to feel him. 

To lay your hands upon his skin and show him how truly magnificent he was. 

Spurred by his gasps of pleasure and surprise, you roamed lower, over the happy trail and began palming him through his trousers and pressing your hand into the hard length of him.

Then, quickly, you slipped your hand inside his trousers, feeling the tickle of short, coarse hair and then you gently grasped him, fingers wrapping around his thick, swollen length.  

He moaned roughly against your lips, sucking in a sharp breath and you pumped him a couple times and his hips jerked forward against your touch. 

Your mouth watered at the feel of him, and you pressed your thighs together at the thought of him filling you, being buried inside you and coming undone…

You had never been more grateful for stopping in a town a few years ago and shelling out the obscene number of credits for getting a contraceptive implant in your arm. 

It was something you didn’t really need to bother with worrying about, but sometimes, the lonely nights got to you – and you didn’t want to have to worry. 

And now, you could almost get on your knees and thank the Maker for that stroke of luck, because now you would be able to feel him inside you, every ridge, every vein, every inch of him. 

Din only moaned louder as you brushed your thumb over his head, catching the drop or precum there and he rapidly pulled away. 

You had no time to worry if you’d stepped over a line, because you heard him working at his belt, the sound of metal catching like it wouldn’t release. 

Din swore under his breath and you realised the fumbling was due to his fingers trembling, in anticipation and the result of what was about to happen. 

Heart melting, you sat up, reaching out blindly and finding the belt yourself, “Let me…” 

You managed to undo his belt, even with your eyes covered and pop the buttons on his waistband, all the while feeling Din’s belly rise and fall unevenly as he watched you. 

It felt like hours, but maybe it was only seconds as you heard Din rid the rest of his clothes and climb back over you, one hand next to your head. His breathing was a staccato rhythm and matched your own as your entire body held tight and coiled like a live wire. 

He lined himself up at your entrance, nudging the head of his cock against you and he swore again under his breath as he felt how wet you were for him again, soaked and swollen. “Shit… You... you really want me…” His voice was full of wonder and surprise. 

He still couldn’t get over it, that he had this effect on someone. That he made you half mad with need for him and he could make someone, make you feel that way. 

You wanted him, wanted whatever he could give you and you were happy with it. Lying there, teeth sunk into your lower lip, cheeks flushed and your body open and yielding to welcome him home. 

It was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. 

“Din…” Your whisper broke him from his reverie, and then he was pushing into you, his hand curling into a fist in the sheets next to his head as if to hold himself back from going any quicker. 

He was thick, and you felt every inch as he slowly sunk into you. 

You both moaned in unison as he bottomed out, and he paused for a second so you could adjust to him, a slight sharp sting there but it felt absolutely delightful. 

You would feel this tomorrow, feel that you had finally been joined as one, finally broken down those walls. 

A few seconds later, sheer delight coursed through you and you slipped your hand up to his wrist, curling your fingers around it, “Move... Maker, please, move-”

Din pulled out slowly, before jolting back into you with a force that felt like your very spine would dissolve into nothingness. He felt so good, so perfect inside you and if you had any doubt that soulmates existed, it was gone now. It was like you were made for each other, slotting into one another souls and lives perfectly. 

He started a slow, building rhythm, dropping his head into your neck to suck at the skin, rocking his hips into yours, “You have no idea how good you feel, sweetheart.” His words were a tight whisper into your neck, and you could feel the tense, rigid line of the muscles in his wrists from his clenched fist. He was still holding back, still afraid to hurt you or push you too far. 

You tilted your head into his hair, your words clear, if not a little high with need, “Let go. Din, stop holding back – please, you won’t hurt me. You won’t scare me.” Fuck, you needed this just as much as he did. You didn’t want slow and gentle. You didn’t want to keep dancing around each other. It had been too long, and you had wasted far too much time trying to hold back in front of the other. 

He was still hesitating, still unsure so you took initiative, hooking one of your legs around his waist and pressing the heel of your foot into his lower back to further emphasise your point. The angle opened you deeper, made him sink a little further in so you clenched around him, tight. 

Din choked a little into your neck, his resolve breaking and then he lifted his head, grabbing your knee for grip and then he really began to move. 

He snapped his hips faster, every few thrusts slowing down to push all the way into you, to hit that spot he was so acquainted with until you shouted his name, a prayer and a plea in one. “Fuck, sweetheart – you look… so beautiful, so fucking beautiful-” He moaned the words, watching you arch under him, your hips moving in tandem to match his pace thrust for thrust. 

He dropped his head back to your chest, kissing and sucking at your breasts and nipples, adding new sparks of pleasure along with the deep fire of him pounding in you. 

It wasn’t rough, not at all but it was raw, intense, your bodies syncing and moving with each other in a new dance, saying everything that needed to make up for the past few months. 

Time ticked past as you climbed higher and higher together, your moans echoing with Din’s jagged praise, your nails scratching lines down his back as he pushed up even deeper inside you, hitting places you didn’t even know you had. 

You lost sense of where you ended and Din began and you felt the threads of your lives tighten around each other, saw the golden threads strengthen with each rock of your bodies, further and further as you both flew up and up, exploding into light and stardust. 

Both of you fell apart at the same time, your walls clenching tight around him as he exploded into you, filling you with heat as his hips jerked and stuttered. You both rode each other’s orgasms out, drawing them on and on until you were both utterly spent. 

Din pressed open kisses to your neck, his rough growl still echoing in your ear as he mumbled sweet nothings against your sticky skin, his body weight heavy and welcoming into yours, “You are so beautiful. So, so beautiful.” Again, and again, he whispered these endearing things, until he eased out of you, leaving behind an incredible sense of loss. 

You lay there blissfully, catching your breath, feeling a delicious ache in your bones that had replaced the dull pain from the week’s ordeals – and drowning. 

How surprising such a day ended like this. 

Though you didn’t doubt you would be hearing about it later. 

Din returned, flicking what sounded like a switch on the way back in. 

You heard him kneel next to the bed, and then a warm damp cloth glide over your thighs as he cleaned you both up, before slotting himself against you in the thin bed, facing you this time. 

You eased onto your side, curling up against the wall and his body, a sated smile on your lips, “I… That was…” You shook your head a little, unable to stop the huge grin on your lips. 

Din laughed softly, a quiet, rough laugh that caressed over your body and settled up in your heart. “Amazing? I never knew you were such a cliché.” He tapped your nose playfully, and you could hear the grin on his lips. 

You couldn’t help the slight ache to your heart, the longing of wanting to be able to see how beautiful that grin was, see it light up his face and spark in his eyes. But you would never ask, never even let the thought of asking pop into your head. You appreciated every single thing he gave you, and you were more than content with whatever he was willing to offer. 

So, you shoved that thought away, and instead lifted your fingertips to his face. 

“Uh, sweetheart, you’re about to poke my eye.” 

Indeed, you felt the soft brush of his eyelashes on your fingertips like moths’ wings, and you mumbled a sorry before tracing the line of his eyebrows, up his temples and across the slight wrinkles on his forehead. “I told you to stop frowning.” 

Din huffed softly at your teasing, his warm breath tickling your wrist. 

You followed a path down his nose, feeling the gentle bump to it that added a new little unique feature to the blurry map in your mind. On your fingers went, over the hair lining his upper lip that you could still feel the ghost of between your thighs. “I like this…” You couldn’t stop the slight cheeky smile, your toes curling a little. 

He chuckled again, his lilt to his voice letting you know that his smile had turned wicked, “Oh, I know. I tasted how much you liked it.” A warm lick of heat tickled in your lower back at his voice, and you shook your head adoringly. 

Next up, his lips. Those soft, plump lips that should be made sinful. You ran the pads of your fingertips over them, then yelped softly as Din suddenly bit them, lightly and playfully. “Hey!” 

“Sorry, sweetheart.” He didn’t sound sorry though, he still sounded like he was smiling, and you realised it was... the happiest you’d ever heard him. 

You were about to say as much, when you heard him move and then suddenly, the blindfold was tugged off your head, disorientating you with the unexpectedness of it.

You gasped, squeezing your eyes shut rapidly, “Din! You haven’t-“

“Relax, cyar'ika. Open your eyes…” 

“But-”

“Open them, princess… Trust me.”

Hesitantly, you opened your eyes the faintest slit, and you were met with… Darkness?

Opening them further, you realised why. 

Din had turned the lights off on his way back in from getting the cloth. That’s what that sound was. 

The entire room was swathed in darkness, only the faint glow of the control panel over his shoulder. It provided the barest silhouette of light, allowing you to see the slight outline of those ridiculous shoulders, and just about the edge of his ear. 

“I couldn’t stand the thought of you keeping that blindfold on… I… I know this isn’t… me… but… That way… You’re not kept out entirely. I could never keep you out...” His voice was a little rough, and you could feel the rapid beat of his heart. This was the barest he’d ever been before you, the most exposed. 

The amount of trust he was bestowing in you was almost heady. All it would take is one tiny malfunction in the ship, for the lights to come back on and then you’d see him. 

You swallowed, your own heart pounding and you gazed in the general direction of his face, seeing him but... seeing none of his features at the same time. But still, to know he was right there, to feel his breath on your skin and see the tinies outline of him… it shattered you nearly.

“Thank you… I… Thank you. This… all of this... I can never thank you enough, Din. For everything you’ve ever done for me. For throwing away the bounty puck, for keeping me safe, for rescuing me… You’ve kept me alive far more than you know. You saw something in me and chose not to give up. And that’s more than a lot of people have every done for me, ever. When I’m with you… I feel safe. To be myself and… I feel like I could conquer anything, as long as you were there.” 

You felt his hand snake to your waist, tracing slow, soothing circles on your skin. 

“There’s so much I have to thank you for, so, so much I want to say to you. I’m… not always good with words… And it’ll take me time to… to open up fully but…” You shook your head slightly, all of the words tumbling over in your head, and you didn’t know where to start or if you would ever end. So, you settled for the four words that would be just enough for now. “I love you, Din.” Tears sprung to your eyes as you finally said those sweet words aloud, “I’ve loved you since I saw you in that alleyway, pretending you didn’t know me to keep me safe.”

Din’s breathing stuttered, catching over itself as he caught his breath. You felt him shudder a little as you mumbled the words, he had so longed to hear. He leant in, pressing his lips to yours in a slow, tender kiss that was so blissfully warm, so loving that it almost hurt. “You don’t ever need to explain yourself to me or feel like you need to tell me things. We’ll… we’ll work on it together, okay?” 

Work on revealing yourselves to each other, bit by bit. 

You smiled, breathlessly and teary against his lips, “Okay…” 

~

It might have been hours later, but you were wrapped up in Din’s arms, your legs tangled, his arm over your waist and the other under your head – the bed was still extremely small.

You’d both drifted off to sleep now and then, in between the gentle kissing, the random conversations about Grogu and Duru’s mishaps or whether the best flavour of macarons was blue or pink. 

But you were awake now, something floating around your head that was still there form a few days ago. Din was relaxed in front of you, his breathing even and deep, tickling your skin. 

He had given up so much of himself to you already, even more so tonight allowing you to touch him, to see him in a way. And you loved him with every single fibre of your being, and... knew that he felt the same. 

And… it was time. 

You wanted to. 

You wanted this. 

Despite that, you still had a nervous writhing in your stomach, and it was a good fifteen minutes before you plucked up enough courage to speak, “Din? Are… you awake?”

 His previously still fingers traced up the tattoo on your spine, “Mmm…” His voice was a rough hum, but you knew he was awake. 

No more secrets. Starting now. 

“I… I want to tell you something. About me… My past.” You bit your lip, fiddling with your necklace. 

You heard Din nod against the pillow slightly, “Okay… Anything.” 

Swallowing, you closed your eyes, like it might give you strength. “I want to tell you… why I have a bounty on my head. And why it’s so high.” Your words were a near whisper. 

Din went very still around you, so quiet you might have thought he had gone back to sleep. Just before dread began to curl in your belly, the low rumble of his voice broke the silence. “I… I know what you’re going to tell me. And… I know.

At that, your eyes flew open, shock filtering though you, “What?

Maybe he misunderstood what you meant, or had heard another rumour…

Like always, he could read your mind, what you were thinking even in the darkness. “Sweetheart, I know.”

Previous| Next.

[fallingforyou123]

Cupcakes and Therapy-Meeting

A/N: I'm so sorry this is late, I had it queued up for the wrong day, but it's finally here. This is just the first part, I plan on continuing this with little blurbs after. I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 2.15k

Warnings: Some language, a panic attack and talks of panic attacks, falcon and the winter soldier spoilers

He woke up in a cold sweat, the last of his nightmare still fresh on his mind. For the third time that night he’d been jolted awake, the idea of sleep slowly slipping away. The sun was just starting to rise, a few rays slipping through the cracks in the blinds. He hadn’t slept through the night since his time in Wakanda. After Steve left him and the fighting stopped, there was nothing keeping his mind occupied anymore.

Slowly, he rose from his makeshift bed on the floor, every inch of his body aching from lack of sleep. He made his way over to the window, looking out at the street below. A new hobby he’d found was people watching, as creepy as it is for an ex-assassin to do, but it calmed him. It brought him back to reality when he felt like he was slipping into a dark place.

He doesn’t realize how long he’s stood there until Alpine starts rubbing up against his leg, meowing loudly. Alpine never fails to remind him just how utterly starving he is after sleeping for 22 hours a day. Bucky makes his way to the kitchen to fill his bowl, making note of all the things he’s running out of, a trip to the market after therapy becoming his plans for the day.

He throws a jacket on over his t-shirt and slips on a pair of gloves before leaving the apartment and making his way to the small coffee shop just around the corner. His routine had started consisting of coming here at ungodly hours of the morning for breakfast before making his way to his weekly therapy sessions.

He walked in and sat at his usual table, the barista on shift coming over with his usual coffee and muffin. Bucky hands her a crumpled 5 with a small smile, before grabbing a newspaper. He doesn’t really read it, he’s not one for politics before noon, but he does it to keep him occupied. It also helps to make it not look like he’s scoping the place out when he sits there for hours a day.

He sits there sipping his coffee and nibbling on his muffin, still too shaken from his nightmare to stomach much. He looks up from the newspaper every now and then to watch the people around him. Sunday mornings make the cafe crowded, couples and groups of friends line the one wall, families taking up space at the tables, and a few solos floating through.

There’s a feeling in his chest that hits him hard as he watches a mom trying to wrangle her daughter as the dad laughs. It hits again as he sees a woman curled into the side of the man beside her, giggling at something he’s whispering in her ear. His eyes shift from person to person, the ache growing strong as his breathing becomes difficult. He stands up abruptly, his knee hitting the table causing his coffee to spill, the few people around him shooting him strange looks. He rushes for the door, barely having time to apologize for bumping into someone.

The heat hits him hard when he steps outside, the feeling of being suffocated only worsening. He can’t think straight, the lack of air in his lungs making him dizzy. He turns into an alleyway, leans against the wall and tries to ground himself. A woman spots him as she walks by, coming over to check on him. She rests her hands on his arms, shaking him gently to get him to focus on her.

“Sir, sir you’ve got to breathe. In, out. Easy, easy. There you go.”

Her voice is smooth, almost melodic, and it does the trick to help calm him. Bucky attempts to follow her breathing, gasps of air slowly turning into steady breaths.

He manages to say a small “Thanks,” between breaths. The girl smiles and lingers a little longer to make sure he’s okay before heading on her way. Bucky’s stuck momentarily, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Suddenly much more tired and willing to go back to bed, he wishes he could head back home and hide for the rest of the day, but he doesn’t want to deal with what’ll happen if he doesn’t show up to therapy.

***

He keeps zoning out as his therapist talks, his mind wandering to what had happened that morning. He was no stranger to panic attacks, but they usually came after a nightmare, not sitting in a coffee shop. And the woman, no ones ever been that quick to help him, not when he looks the way he does. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, her face stuck in his mind.

“James, at least pretend to pay attention.” His therapist's voice knocked him out of his thoughts.

“I’m listening.”

“No you’re not, you’ve got that look on your face that means you’re thinking about your nightmare while telling me you’re not having any.” Her voice is calm, but he knows she’s getting annoyed with him.

“I can assure you, I’m not thinking about a nightmare. I, uh, had a panic attack this morning.” He looks away from her, the confession more than he’s ever shared.

“James, that’s normal. PTSD has a lot of symptoms.”

“No, no this was different. This wasn’t because of a memory or a nightmare. I was sitting drinking coffee, just looking around, and it hit me. I had to leave, spent a while trying to calm myself in an alley. And this woman, she came over and tried to help me. I mean, it worked, but I just, I don’t know. It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid, you’ve got to stop downplaying these things.” She’s really starting to get annoyed now, her voice now having a slight edge to it.

Bucky can’t quite figure out what pisses him off more, knowing she’s right, or how she doesn’t sugar coat things.

“Tell me exactly how it started, what were you doing?”

He groans, not feeling up for a heart to heart at the moment.

“Listen, I told you. I was drinking coffee and looking around. People watching, I guess. Keeps me occupied.”

“Ah,” she sighs. “I think what’s happening is your minds telling you that you’re lonely. Seeing all those people being happy together, it’s something you haven’t had in a while. You need people, James.”

He doesn’t want to hear it and she knows it. It’s all he’s been told for months now. But he’s fine, really. He has weekly lunches with Yori, and Alpine is plenty of company when he’s at home.

“Listen doc, I’m fine.”

“Bullshit. After everything that’s happened to you, being alone is the quietest, most personal hell. And, James, it is very hard to escape it.”

***

The market was crowded today. The mid-summer heat enticing people to spend their days in the sun. Bucky made his way through the rows of stands, stopping to grab various items he thought his fridge was lacking. This had become a weekend routine for him, spending Sunday afternoons trying to create some sort of normality in his life.

He gets distracted momentarily by the sound of a high pitched laugh, forgetting about the bag of fruit being handed to him. It’s then that he spots you, the same girl who helped him in the alley. You’ve traded your hoodie for a tank top and you’ve got a little yellow apron covering you now. There’s a basket of pastries in your hand and you’re laughing with a group of people.

That small ache in his chest makes an appearance again, thoughts racing through his mind. Bucky doesn’t believe in fate, he’s far too old and seen too many things to think it’s real. But in this moment as he watches you, the girl who took time to care for him in a dark alleyway, looking like the world belonged to her, he can’t help thinking that maybe it does exist.

He doesn't know what comes over him, but before he knows it, he’s shoving everything into his bags and heading towards the shop. He doesn’t know what he’ll say, blinded by the need to just be near her. Before he can reach you, you’ve already headed back into the building and stationed yourself behind the counter.

He walks in and is hit with the smell of fresh pastries and he’s brought back to spending weekend mornings baking with his mom and sister. You’re just finishing up with the group, turning your attention to Bucky, “Hi! Welcome to Honey, what can I get for ya?”

Bucky blinks a few times, suddenly losing every ounce of confidence he’d had. “Do you need a few more minutes? Or would you like a suggestion?”

He takes a second to compose himself before replying, “Yeah, um. A suggestion, please?”

He doesn’t understand where his shyness has come from, but you seem to find it endearing. You motion to the display case and start rambling on about each treat, “The orange zest cookies seem to be a fan favourite, personally I like the neapolitan ones the best. We’ve also got every flavour of scone you could imagine if you’re feeling more classy. And oh, this one's new, bourbon pecan nut bars, a little midday pick me up. We’ve also got some fresh sandwiches if you’re looking for lunch. Or if you’re still not sure I can do a sampler box?”

“Yea, I’ll just get one of those, and maybe a sandwich too?”

“Sure thing!”

Bucky watches you fill up a little basket for him, noticing how you add multiples of your favourites. When you head into the back for a moment, he starts figuring out how to bring up this morning without being creepy. He doesn’t want to sound like he stalked you, that would really mess up his shot with you. You finish it up with a fresh sandwich from the back and hand him a neatly wrapped basket. “Alright, is that everything?”

Bucky realizes that this is his last moment to say anything, “Yes, and no. I don’t know if you remember, but I’m the guy who you stopped to help in the alley this morning. I didn’t stalk you or anything, I swear, I was just shopping in the market when I saw you and I thought I’d come over and say thank you.” By this point he’s wishing the ground would open up and swallow him, his face turning extremely red.

“I thought it was you. Don’t worry, I’m not freaked out. It’s no big deal, I’m glad you’re okay. I know how scary panic attacks can be when you’re alone, I’ve had far too many.” You offer him some sympathy, knowing how awful these things can be.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. Thank you again for the help. I’m Bucky by the way.” He reaches his hand out towards you, and when you take you swear you feel something, “Y/N, nice to meet you.” You reply with a smile.

The both of you stand there for a moment, lost in each other, only shaken out of it by the ringing of the door as someone enters. “I should go, I’m still on the clock.” You reluctantly let go of his hand.

“Can I get your number before I leave?” The question takes you by surprise, but you’re quick to put your number in his phone, and he makes a promise to call you later that night.

***

When you arrive home that evening you’ve completely forgotten about the promised phone call, too eager to make dinner and then climb into bed. You’re in the middle of cooking when your phone goes off with an unknown number on the screen. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Bucky.”

That voice fills your ears and your heart stops for a moment. He sounds tired, the raspiness sending a warm shiver throughout your body.

“Hey, yea, how are you?”

The both of you fall into comfortable small talk. He asks you about work and you tell him about all of your favourite moments from the day. You ask him about the pastries you sent him home with and he confesses that his favorite were the oatmeal lemon cookies, they remind him of the ones his mom used to make.

You end up still on the phone with him by the time you’re curled up in bed, barely able to keep your eyes open. “You should go to bed doll, I can hear how tired you are.”

“But where’s the fun in that?”

Bucky laughs, a small little chuckle, and all you want is to be able to hear that sound forever. “Why don’t you come over tomorrow after I’ve closed up the bakery and I’ll teach you to make something?”

“I’d like that. I’ll see you tomorrow doll.”

“See you tomorrow Bucky.”

[rlmfanfic]

Interview with Mike from 2003

The following is the unabridged interview from Garreb Gilchron’s old FastForward website (note the dickish jab at Mike when Gilfalon calls it “the famously unreleased Gorilla Interrupted”). I’ve included all of the original photos from the site.

Mike is especially snarky throughout the interview, but some of my favorite lines are: 

“You're floundering in your own fabricated self worth.”

“The internet is cool, but it can be a tempting siren of laziness.”

“Never give up, never surrender. Unless you make porno.”

Sultan of Schlock: An interview with Mike Stoklasa 

Mike Stoklasa of GMP Pictures, along with his star performer Rich Evans, have been creating original comedy for over a decade. Mike’s insanely creative editing, filled with jump cuts, slow motion, warped audio and perfect comic timing, has been much imitated by those who’ve seen his many movies, but never duplicated. Although clearly comedies, the films of GMP rarely have jokes in them, making the audience laugh through sheer force of strangeness, and by constantly taking their expectations and subverting them. Mike’s last major release was The Long Walk Home, a brutal spoof of amateur films. 

Mike is very critical of all amateur films and filmmaking, keeping his own library of bad amateur movies, which he often spoofs in his own work. In person Mike comes off as very funny and very depressed. When he’s putting his heart into a project he can release more movies, and release them faster, than seemingly anyone else in the amateur movie world. When he’s unsatisfied with a project, he does nothing and lets the world know … as with the famously unreleased Gorilla Interrupted. He is currently trying to finish up shooting on the relatively expensive talking fruit epic, Oranges: Revenge of the Eggplant. 

Mike Stoklasa: My apartment is cold. 

Jason Santo: Mine too. Mike, you and your production company, GMP Pictures, have been making movies for many years now, resulting in what's been estimated at over 100 original productions. How do you manage such a prolific output? 

Stoklasa: You know... 

Santo: I do? 

Stoklasa: I ask myself that question. How we made like 9 "features" and all those short movies, and I'm not sure. I think the feature films are shitty, that helps. And the shorts are not well put together either so that helps too. GMP has sort of a midas touch of schlock comedy. 

Santo: So do you think quality has been compromised because you've put out so much?

Stoklasa: Depends on the definition of quality. Amateur movies and quality is a fine line. I've seen millions of movies about a guy with a gun, often well-shot but with lame subject matter and horrible acting. You just can't watch it. but they may have spent a year making it. In comparison something we slap together in a day may be funnier and more entertaining. Our features take months, but they look like they took minutes so go figure. Amateur cinema is a dangerous thing. 

Santo: Dangerous? Why? 

Stoklasa: It's now in the hands of illiterate high school kids. Powerful PCs with complex editing capabilities are now in the hands of total morons, and it's sinking us all down like the Titanic.

Santo: Some would argue that the movies are getting better.

Stoklasa: I guess it can be liberating to some, but others will get lazy and want to rush ahead to the "special edition dvd" of the movie shot in their moms back yard. They're missing the point. I'm someone whose first movies were shot in-camera with one take each. I slowly worked up to a computer. I don't know, just seems like people are stupid now. Rushing things and making movies just to make them, not learning the important stuff. There are people who make movies not to make a movie, but to make a box for a movie. Like Guy McConnell. Promotional stuff really pisses me off … 

Santo: Is that because you don't feel you're good at it yourself, or is there something more base in your hatred for it?

Stoklasa: Because there's no point to have a trailer for a 5 minute film. Or a website or a t-shirt, its just self indulgence. It’s not hard to self promote things. It’s just like movies are secondary.

Santo: Part of the movie business is the business end of it. Are you saying people at the amateur level should forsake this?

Stoklasa: Yes, because there shouldn't be a "business" end to amateur movies. Unless you’re really trying to sell the stuff legitimately. Like when Random Foo sold me their compilation of films on the first Foo Base One tape. It was a very slick website, all the movies had titles and their own posters, but the films were just terrible! Like they thought the idea of these movies having titles and posters was cooler than the movies themselves. I paid 12 dollars for the tape, totally insane. There should be a certain level of quality achieved before one makes a theatrical release poster, website, and starts selling a film. It should be something they have worked hard on and invested money and time into, as to not confuse the buyer. 

Santo: So effort comes into play with all of this. In your mind, movies made with little or no effort should not be sold as a movie made by people working hard. 

Stoklasa: I guess. It's not so much about effort as it is about this new fascination with DVDs and all this marketing. It's like Rich said that all these people are just "playing film makers" especially all these new kids. Like these kids that come out and have a poster for a movie thats not even written yet. And they’re saying what will be on the special edition dvd when the movie is done. I’ve seen this many times. What's so special edition about their DVD? They need to focus on making movies, and learning how to work with actors, and what match cuts are, and how to use different shots, and how to record sound, and expose a good picture, and turn off the auto focus, and to move the dog out of the room when they are shooting. Adherence to the most basic rules. Learn moviemaking first. When you are at least competent, then go out and start selling. You can rush a movie all you want...if you know what you're doing. I wrote a feature script for Gorilla Interrupted in 5 hours and we shot the thing in less than 7 days. Granted it didn't turn out the best, but it still had some funny moments, and we got it done. We got shit done from experience. This darn Internet has taken the patience out of people, that’s my only gripe. No matter how many silly promotional things one makes, whether a movie is entertaining or not will always be the final determination.

Santo: So it's not necessarily that people are making "bad" movies that's got you upset, but rather the fact that they seem to be focusing more on the marketing aspect of things and not trying to learn the craft.

Stoklasa: I am made of walnuts. Yes. I love bad movies, I love good movies. I hate mediocre movies where people seemed less concerned about making a movie than they did about telling people they made a movie.

Santo: What is it that you love about making movies?

Stoklasa: The magic of creation. The magic of shooting a scene and then putting all the pieces together, to make it into something. That’s why I love editing so much. Taking what is sometimes junk and turning it into something. That’s why I like the Oranges stuff so much, cause we're making a miniature world and characters out of our voices, styrofoam, fruit, duct tape, wood, plastic, paint ....things that are in our houses everyday, but we take them and mold them and give them life. It's great fun to see that. Then add in sound and music and editing, and you've created a world out of nothing but your own creativity.

Santo: Have you made any movies that you would feel good about marketing and selling?

Stoklasa: I think this new Oranges film will be sellable. I like GMP’s more subversive and weird shorts. They appeal to people on a strange level, but none of that is sellable cause it’s just home movies.

Santo: So if you don't sell your movies, how do you get people to see them?

Stoklasa: Who cares if people see them? So they can say "good job, what’s next?"

Santo: What would be so bad about that? Why make movies if you don't want people to see them?

Stoklasa: I show them to people around me. Friends. Family. They matter. I show ‘em in South Dakota. Some screen name on the Internet doesn't matter to me. We’re trying to make a quality film now we can sell. I feel after all of my work I have finally learned enough to make something good. EVERYTHING before was just practice. And that’s one thing people don't get. They fall in love with their own movies (and themselves) a little too much. NO ONE wants to see you think you're funny acting like a hitman in your own basement. All these movies are just junk. Disposable junk. Everything I've done, up until the point I sell something, is basically, when you boil it down, just junk. The good you get from it is learning the craft a little more each time. They are not movies you make websites for, and posters, and special edition dvds! Not while millions of shot-on-film indie productions are struggling to make it out there. It's all a waste of time. To me amateur movies are really about learning for yourself and exploring your creativity. They’re not paid-for entertainment for other people.

Santo: So what's your advice to someone getting their start with a camcorder and an editing station: make movies, but show them only to friends and family? Don't start a website and create marketing materials until you actually have something good to show?

Stoklasa: It doesn't hurt I guess, but basically yes. Devote your time into getting good at making movies. Learn how to write a good script and so on. Don't rush the film to get it out on the internet. The internet is cool, but it can be a tempting siren of laziness. And if you feel your movies are bad and you're just copying other people, stop making movies and go out and play baseball.

Santo: So you believe the internet is partly to blame with the mediocrity some associate with amateur movies?

Stoklasa: Yes. Yes it is. The internet is hellspawn for movies .... mainly just newbies though. It’s good for people like Timberwolf that have Paypal and want to trick people into ordering their films with pictures of boobs. Because stuff like that is tough to get into stores, the lower lower end of B grade softcore schlock. But to the 15 year old who wants to copy-cat hollywood marketing with his film starring his little brother in a ninja costume... it's a bad thing. Cause the internet gives false hope to him. Back when I'd make a movie like that, people would want to turn it off... so you try to make one better. So your neighbors and relatives would like it. You try harder and harder to get it good; figure out how to put music in, figure out how to do that early chroma key effect so at one point someone would say "wow.” Rewind is a very bad thing cause we just say "good job" to these kids and their shit movies - Rewind is meant to be "supportive" of these kids, when they need to be told they suck so they try harder. They can not be told "good job," cause then they rush into the DVDs, and they think they’re good cause they have a poster that looks just like the one at the local cineplex. Amateur movies are about sucking. It’s the very nature of it. They aren't meant to be seen by human eyes, much less supported. This is where the misconception comes from that I hate amateur movies. I don't. I cherish them. I hate them being marketed or mistaken as Hollywood product. Or mislabeled, misrepresented as what they are : Rough drafts of talent yet to blossom.

Santo: So this odd clash that the amateur movie world is facing between independent cinema and amateur work - it shouldn't be happening?

Stoklasa: Yes. Queequeg Films is one of the few groups that has come the closet to actual marketable product, along with some other films, but 98% of the rest of it isn't marketable or useable in the Indie sense.

Santo: Do you think having an annual festival that invites the public to view amateur pictures is obscuring what amateur cinema is really all about?

Stoklasa: Yes I do. People don't want to admit it, but an amateur film festival is a contradiction. None of it is sellable to a distributor, and the public isn't too interested.

Santo: Some disagree with you on that...

Stoklasa: Mainly Rewinders filled the theater. To some it is entertaining, but to most public they'd spend their time elsewhere. I love Camp Rewind though, for personal reasons. Meeting people, hanging out. Rewind is now that metaphorical "friends and family" I spoke of since we all know each other.

Santo: So showing movies to people at REwind is a good thing. They can offer valuable feedback and help you move forward.

Stoklasa: If they offer that helpful feedback, sure. But people need to be meaner.

Santo: They’re not being truly supportive by just saying "Yes... very good job."

Stoklasa: Correct. I just think that when making a movie, people need to try hard, or don't try at all. 

Santo: So, as you’re working on a movie now that you believe you will be able to sell, will that mean you'll be leaving REwind?

Stoklasa: No. Rewind isn't a house I live in. There is no coming or going. I will always support and be a part of Rewind. Because my film probably won't sell. But Rewind has at least taught me the difference.

Santo: If you were to somehow get the attention of Dreamworks with Oranges 2, and they were to sign you to a picture deal that would bring you millions, what would you do to support amateur moviemaking?

Stoklasa: I would buy Rewindvideo.com and place a picture of a horse on the main page. I would do my best to stop amateur film making. Too many people are doing it now that suck and don't have good ideas.

Santo: But don't you need the bad to appreciate the good?

Stoklasa: No, Confucius. It’s like the Olympics. Olympians are amateur athletes that compete – they are not professionals. We as the public don't need to see the millions of people that tried out for the Olympics running, jumping, and swimming. We just want to see the best of the bunch compete. But the internet has given access to any schlup with a camera to post his filthy shitty movie for all to see, and be annoyed by. Seeing failed wannabe Olympians suck isn't the point of the Olympics, ya dig?

Santo: I do, but how can people get better if they don't mess up to begin with? Failing upwards is necessary to evolving into a better artist. REwind helps foster that, doesn't it?

Stoklasa: No.

Santo: Because it's too busy organizing the "crap" and patting people on the back?

Stoklasa: Yes. It’s not Rewind’s fault. People need to figure this shit out for themselves. People need to say "Gee, this sucks. This is inside jokes. Maybe we shouldn't release this.” Instead it's a race for numbers on how many movies you made. Random Foo has made 198 movies … a new one every second. That makes them the big tops at Rewind. It should be the opposite. Rewind should condemn such activity. Unless none of these people are actually serious about making it in the film industry. Then they can do what they want. 

Santo: I think you're confusing Foo work with my work. I was the one who made too many movies too quickly, and I probably created this image you find so annoying about them... 

Stoklasa: So be it. You see my point though.

Santo: Absolutely. Very clear.

Stoklasa: I think I'll just start making porno. 

Santo: You don't seem to have a problem at all naming names when it comes to backing your points. Do you feel that sort of candor is frowned-upon at REwind?

Stoklasa: Yes. I will be hated. I am hated.

Santo: Does that bother you?

Stoklasa: I shouldn't be hated. This is my opinion. We all can't be people that sit there and congratulate each other and don't have the nerve to speak up. The people in Random Foo are nice people to talk to and so on, but I don't care for their stuff too much, though I did like Inquisition. 

Santo: I still cannot believe you liked Inquisition. Jesus, Mike. You must truly hate the movies I make. Christ. Sometimes you frighten me, Commander. 

Stoklasa: What? 

Santo: It's times like this that I honestly feel like giving up.

Stoklasa: "Times like this?" When you talk to me?

Santo: No... when I think of all of the work I've done, much of it honest, real work that I tried hard to get right... then realize that something I think is shit outshines it in the eyes of people whose opinions I respect. I wonder what the fuck the point is. I wonder if I'm disillusioned. I don't think I have the drive or will to continue with this shit for much longer. I'm tired and sick. After Bent 3, I will consider folding if I see no momentum.

Stoklasa: No! Make a feature! With me and Rich in it! It’ll inject new life and energy into your stuff.

Santo: Gee, Mike. Thanks. That's a huge vote of confidence. J ... you suck on your own. You need me and the mediocre talents of my oddly likeable chubby best-friend to heighten your banal movies. Fuck. Blech. 

Stoklasa: I need the banal serious slick stylings of Senor Santo to make my movies appear less like childish filth and more like quality material! 

Santo: It gets old sometimes, doesn't it? Wanting to succeed at this? I'm only 28 and I feel like an old man.

Stoklasa: I'm 23 and I feel like an old man! Yes. It gets very old. Especially when you're broke.

Santo: I love the fact that a guy who I don't believe is all that great minus his editing skills is telling me what I need to do with my career. That's very interesting.

Stoklasa: Har...you wait and see sucker. I'm a wise man.

Santo: Heh. Indeed, Commander. There is some wiseness there.

Stoklasa: You're foundering in your own fabricated self worth.

Santo: Floundering, you mean? 

Stoklasa: Founder is when a ship sinks. Flounder is when a person is drowning.

Santo: Ahhh...

Stoklasa: Founder - to fill and sink, to fall down or go lame; collapse. Flounder - struggle awkward, proceed with difficulty.

Santo: Mike, you need to have a vision, an idea, a notion, a plan to move ahead in this art. I have it. I'm good at it. I know I am. I believe in my abilities. If that's foundering, then I don't mind because it keeps me working. I do mind, however, when fucking parasites are calling themselves the real deal and others back them. I get ill. You know... I think I was happier when I was away from REwind. I think I better disappear again. I shouldn't be around again. It's making me feel bad.

Stoklasa: No!

Santo: It makes me sick, Mike. It really does. No kidding.

Stoklasa: You can't hide in a cave.

Santo: I can just concentrate on making my movies and living my life away from them.

Stoklasa: Me and Rich dream of the day when we will defeat the evil forces around us.

Santo: Make a good movie and it might happen.

Stoklasa: Never give up, never surrender. Unless you make porno.

Santo: What the shit?

[moonprincemulti]

Hii, could I request a bottom jimin x top male reader?? Where Jimin develops feelings for the reader and fully realises his feelings when he gets jealous coz the reader's hanging out a lot with another bts member instead of him. Thank youuuu💜💜

∘₊✧— Spend Time With Me —✧₊∘

- 5 Mar 2021

- soo it's probably a bit long but hey, you had to wait long too so.. sorry

- i hoped i fullfilled your request, this is the first time i write for a bts member

- let me know what you think of it!

"Do you remember that one time where you ruined the project of someone else because you thought it was trash just lying around?" Y/n snickered at the memory, eventually just breaking out in full out laughter. Hoseok laughed along just as loudly, playfully hitting y/n as they remnisced about their adventures in high school. Y/n was one of Hoseok's long time friends, and they hang out a lot in the free time that BTS had during schedules.

Jimin had met y/n years ago when Hoseok had brought him over for the first time after they moved into their dorm. Y/n always had a great time with the boys, as they were smiling and playing around a lot. Jimin always felt some kind of connection to y/n, but he never really could place what that feeling exactly was. One time when they had gotten a bit too drunk, they experienced a quite akward moment when Jimin had broken down in tears, saying that y/n had cheated on him.

That moment had since then been forgotten, atleast Jimin hoped it had been. They had never talked about it again, because to them back then, it didn't make sense. Jimin sighed as he thought back to all the great memories they had made together, the smile on his face giving away that he wasn't really listening to the conversation that Hoseok and y/n were having currently. Hoseok nudged Jimin and cleared his throat. "What are you smiling about? It's not fun to lose a pet.."

Jimin blinked and looked at the other two males, suddenly feeling guilty. "What? No I... I was thinking about something else. Sorry." Jimin looked down, Hoseok patting his shouder and then continuing to talk to y/n. Jimin closed his eyes, shaking his head lightly. Why did he have to make a fool of himself all of the time? He then got up, walking off to his room. He stopped at the end of the hallway, looking back in the direction of the livingroom. He was always happy when y/n was here, but everytime the taller male had left, Jimin only felt sadness. He never knew why.

━━━━━━━━ ✤ ━━━━━━━━

Over the course of the next few weeks, y/n kept coming over almost every day. But y/n only seemed to have his attention for Hoseok, and not for Jimin or one of the other boys. The others didn't really seem to mind as they just did their own thing and let y/n be, but Jimin had slowly gotten irritated by it. As y/n got up to leave one night, Jimin got up as well. "Y/n uhm.. do you want to hang out with me sometime this week? You seem to have a lot of free time.." Y/n tilted his head, a bit confused by this sudden question.

"Well actually, I'll be pretty busy starting tomorrow. But don't worry, our weekly sunday nights can still happen. I'll be here again to watch a movie with you guys then." Y/n smiled gently, but he noticed that Jimin didn't get the answer he wanted. "No I.. Just... you know, nevermind. I'll see you on sunday." Jimin wanted to turn around and walk to his room, but y/n grabbed his arm and made Jimin face him. "Why? Is there something specific you wanted to do with me?"

Jimin felt his heart skip a beat as he looked in y/n's eyes, and it suddenly felt like he had no control over his own body. Jimin stuttered in an attempt to answer, only confusing y/n more. "What? I'm not going to bite you for asking.." Y/n furrowed his eyebrows. "Come on, tell me. I can try and fit you in my schedule if you tell me what you want to do." "You.. you always spend.. spend so much time with Hoseok but you're my friend too!" Jimin blurted out, getting embarassed then and turning his face away.

Y/n glanced at Hoseok, who shrugged unknowingly and looked at Jimin as well. Jimin got out of y/n's grip and turned around then. "Nevermind, okay? I'll go find myself a best friend so I don't bother the two of you." Y/n wanted to stop Jimin once more, but the smaller had already walked off to his room. Y/n looked at Hoseok, a bit worried. "What's up with him? Did something piss him off during practice?" Hoseok shook his head. "Not that I know off."

━━━━━━━━ ✤ ━━━━━━━━

Weeks went by and Jimin had locked himself in his room everytime y/n had come over. Y/n had tried to talk to him the first few times, but gave up as Jimin just answered with pure silence. Jimin had realised what his feelings had been telling him for years now, and he was slightly angry, but mostly very embarassed about it. He was jealous. All those heart flutters and stings of pain had come from jealousy. Jealousy that y/n was spending time with the others and not exclusively with Jimin.

As the six boys sat in the livingroom with y/n, they were talking about different things, Jimin opened his bedroom door, peeping out to listen to them. He heard y/n's familiar laugh, which made his heart flutter ever so slightly. Jimin bit his lip, not knowing what to do. Would he ever have enough courage to confess to y/n? He couldn't keep it in forever, it was starting to hurt their friendship. He stepped out of his room, leaning against the wall to listen in on the others' conversation.

"Jimin was so good during practice today, the way he moved.. wow... it's always so mesmerizing to look at." Taehyung had spoken about the dance that Jimin had practiced for one of their award shows. Y/n hummed and smiled. "I wish I could see him dance for real. I've only seen recorded clips. As you said, it looks mesmerizing on video, but I'm sure his body expression is even better in real life." Jimin felt another flutter go through his body. He wished he could show y/n how he could move, but how to do that when they weren't even talking.

━━━━━━━━ ✤ ━━━━━━━━

As the others continued their conversation, Jimin gathered the courage to do something he thought he would never do. Y/n kept talking about Jimin in an adoring way, and Jimin felt like he had to act now or never. He walked towards the livingroom, making a bee-line straight to y/n. He hovered over the taller who was sitting on the couch, cupping his face and placing a deep kiss right on his lips. He leaned back a bit then, looking into y/n's eyes. "This is why I didn't talk. Why I locked myself up. Do you understand now?"

The others were shocked by the sudden action, Hoseok furrowing his eyebrows. "Jimin, was this really necessary-" Hoseok stopped talking as y/n reacted back. Y/n had grabbed Jimin's collar, pulling him closer quite harshly, reconnecting their lips. The others just looked at them in astonishment, not sure what to say or do. Y/n groaned softly, making Jimin sit in his lap as they made out for a minute or so, exposing their feelings for eachother that had been kept in for so long.

Y/n broke the kiss then, taking a deep breath and stroking over Jimin's cheek. "Do you want to spend some alone time with me tomorrow? Just us?" Jimin nodded and smiled, his lips a bit puffy from the deep kiss. "Yes please... that's all I wanted." Y/n smiled and pulled Jimin in a hug, finally looking at the others. "Do you guys mind? This uh.. this was going to happen sooner or later.." Hoseok shook his head and smiled gently. "No, we don't mind. Just.. keep the intimate stuff during your alone time, okay? We don't have to watch it." Jimin huffed and stuck his tongue out to Hoseok. "Don't tell me you're the jealous one now." Hoseok chuckled and the others smiled along as well.

[alloftheimaginess]

Can you do a supernatural cast series where you’re the wife and you do different interviews, like the videos on YouTube like Ad or thirst tweets or just answering fan questions whatever plz. If you have questions just message me and I’ll try to explain it further

Lol sorry it’s been like four months so don’t hate me but it’s been hard work juggling trying to write, school and work so sorry. I think it sucks but hopefully you’ll like it and I’ll be tagging the other parts in this one

Burning Fan Questions

Other parts

Alexander Calvert

Misha Collins

Jensen Ackles

"Hi I'm Yn Padalecki and I will be answer the fans burning questions about my life" I say smiling at the camera as I grab the bucket that's full of questions.

"I'm super nervous for this because before I got here Jared double dog dared me to answer literally every single question so I can't use my skip button" I say and the crew behind the camera laughs.

"Please for the love of god let their be questions to embarrass Jared more than me so he can eat it" I say giggling.

"First question" I say grabbing a folded up piece of paper from out the bucket.

"Who is the rudest celebrity that you've ever had the chance of meeting?" I read and I laugh.

"Oh that's a lot of them, there's an unsurprising amount of rude celebrities who think that they own Hollywood" I say laughing.

"But enough stalling because I have to answer this question anyway, the rudest celebrity that I've ever met was Christian Bale, no offense but he was a total dick to literally everyone around him, on set, off of set just everywhere" I say digging around the bucket for another question.

"What scandals has your team had to cover up?" I read and I start laughing.

"Noooooo" I say laughing even harder because I know I have to tell them.

"Okay okay. When I was 23 I had first met Jared and we got caught you know doing the deed and then the pictures were about to go out and they had to buy all of them back for double of what they were going to get" I say laughing shaking the bucket up and grabbing another one out.

"Have you ever used your celebrity status to get something for free?" I read.

"One time when I was out my daughter, Harlow we were getting frozen yogurt and I left my credit card at the restaurant we were at before without realizing it and at the register she goes oh my god are you Jared from supernatural's wife and when I'm with my daughters I usually pretend like I'm not but I totally knew she was going to give us the yogurt for free so I was like yeah, and then I asked her how she was and she was like oh this is totally on the house" I say laughing.

"I eventually went back and tipped a massive tip because I didn't pay last time" I say.

I grab another one out and I put the bucket down opening it "how many kids do you actually want?" I read.

"Well I already have two now but I'm aiming for at least five" I say laughing.

"I have a big family I'm one of 9 so I've always wanted a big family but not as big as mine so four or five would be a perfect size family for me, I honestly have a enough love for a million but four or five is definitely good for me" I say grabbing another question.

"If we came to your house what would we find in your cabinets food wise?" I read laughing.

"What an interesting question" I say.

"Everyone in the Padalecki household has their own cabinets because they are huge smackers. Harlow's is filled with the stuff she likes such as teddy Grahams, fruit roll ups, dried Cranberries, jolly ranchers stuff like that. Mine is filled with little cakes, gushers, banana chips which I swear by, peanuts, popcorn and Jared's, he has tons of candy, he is absolutely in love with white chocolate macadamia cookies and he always has those in his stash and Kiernan she's still on baby food so she's fully stocked on that" I say grabbing another question out.

"If you had to marry anyone that has starred along side your husband in his show supernatural who would it be?" I read.

"Oh hmm" I say laughing.

"Okay, Jensen is like Jared's best friend but I'm way closer to Misha so I'd definitely have to say Misha but no offense to his wife because I'd totally marry her as well or maybe even Rob, I love that man to pieces, he's a really good friend but then there's Rich, no offense to his wife Jaci but Rich and I have the best dance off's so that would be something to look forward to" I say laughing as I grab another question.

"If you woke up in Jared's body and had to stay in it for a day what would you do?" I say laughing.

"Easy, I'd leave myself little notes with plans for tomorrow so when I switch back he'll have to go through with them and we could have a perfectly planned out day because I planned it" I say laughing.

"If you go out to dinner with your non-famous friends, do you all still split the bill or do you pay?" I read.

"It depends really, my childhood friends don't like for me to pay for their stuff so we'll all split the bill but if I'm the one inviting everyone out then I'll pay before hand because then it'll be a lot of work trying to break it up" I say grabbing another question.

"What's one thing that Jared does that absolutely pisses you off?" I read cracking up.

"Breathes" I say smiling at the camera.

"I'm just kidding" I say laughing.

"When I'm super busy and like concentrating on my work he'll come over and innocently wrap his arms around me but then when I'm not paying him enough attention he'll start softly biting me and while I'm trying to work that can be so annoying" I say.

"What was the worst rumor that has been spread about you?" I read.

"I've had some pretty bad ones that I like to pretend didn't happen because they were literally so outrageous but I guess the worst one was that I was cheating on Jared. A few years back Harlow and I flew to my hometown for a few weeks and we spent Halloween out there and my twin sister and I dressed up as Sally from nightmare before Christmas because we've always done matching costumes whenever we're with each other and I posted a selfie on Instagram so everyone knew what I looked like but no one knew my twin sister was dressed identical to me and she took Harlow around with her now husband while I helped my parents be set up for the party and the paparazzi caught them together while they shared a kiss and while Eric played with Harlow and she was giggling and they put the photos on the front of the magazine and I was getting so much hate before I even knew what was going on and I was getting calls from our friends and they were asking me like how I could do that and then I had to go and post my pictures with my sister and write this long ass message about it and it was super bad" I say moving on.

"Who do you look up to the most, and what qualities do you love about that person?" I read.

"My grandma, she pretty much raised me. My parents weren't around often so I had to live with her for like 5 years, me and all of my siblings" I say digging in the bucket.

"But the qualities that I love about her is one, the fact that she is the strongest person I've had the honor of meeting" I say holding up one finger.

"Two, her boldness is like unbelievable. I took her to the oscars and she started flirting with The Rock and that's when I realized my grandma was my hero" I say laughing and I pull another question out.

"What's something you did as a child that no one knows about outside of your family?" I read.

"For two years I only spoke in a British accent, I had everyone confused at school because I never broke" I say laughing.

"How often do you and Jared have sex?" I read burying my face.

"No, I'm not going to be embarrassed. Sex is a normal thing, it brings about joy, relaxation, sometimes accidental pregnancies" I say laughing.

"But back to the question, I don't know. He's gone for like nine months out of the year but if he has a three day weekend or whatever then we'll spend a night together but when he's home in the three months he's off of filming it's literally whenever the kids are gone if even just for 20 minutes. We try to keep it as normal as possible" I say laughing.

"What's the last text conversation you had?" I read pulling out my phone and I laugh.

"I texted Robert about his new Batman movie because it was announced the other day and I just seen it this morning so I had to quickly congratulate him and he tells me that while I'm super late he still appreciates it and won't hold anything against me when it's time to hand out movie tickets and I said I'd never forgot about you shiny and he sent the middle finger emoji" I say laughing.

"What are your pet names that you and Jared have for each other?" I read.

"Ha, finally a question that he'd normally not talk about but I was dared so I call him Bubba or bubs" I say laughing.

"Literally it's how he's saved in my phone and he thinks it's so embarrassing" I say pulling my phone out and showing his contact name and photo.

"He's Bubba and he calls me a lot of different things but the one he always goes back to is beautiful or baby" I say smiling at the camera.

“Do your siblings and Jared get along?” I read and I laugh sighing.

“Like I mentioned earlier I’m one of nine so that’s eight siblings and then all of my siblings are older than me. I’m the baby and they are all married so my older brother and his husband love Jared and Jared loves them, we’re actually both of their kids godparents but then with my third oldest sister she doesn’t like me so she doesn’t like Jared by default you know” I say grabbing another question.

“Okay this is a question I have to know how often you do and Jared shower together?” I read laughing.

“Do you have to know that?” I ask laughing harder.

“Sorry to let you down but we don’t really, we’ll not anymore with kids it’s best one of us is out the shower while the other one quickly showers because we can’t leave them along for too long” I say knowing that my answer is not what they were expecting.

“But before kids it’s was an every morning thing we did together before heading out for our different business or whatever we had to do that day” I say.

“Did you have an oh shit moment at your wedding, and if so what was it?” I read and I nod.

“Yeah actually I did. But it’s been so long since we got married that I actually forgot until I read this question. My brother bless his poor heart showed up drunk like he was pregaming our wedding and the security didn’t know he was my brother so they were like kicking him out and my sister runs in like “oh my god Yn, the security just kicked Kalin out” so I’m like half dressed and I go down to try to figure out what the hell is happening and then I meet up with him and he throws up all over me like I’m talking full body covered and the make up artist just left and I had to shower and call her back so she could come fix my face and it was very traumatizing because it was so gross” I say laughing.

“But the whole wedding was beautiful and he didn’t drink at all” I say.

“If you had to pick a song from the late 10’s-2020 to be you and Jared’s couple song what would you pick?” I read and I awe.

“That’s a cute question. I guess I’d have to say Flicker by Niall Horan, we danced together to that song when Alex Calvert and his wife got married and it literally felt so magical and now whenever I hear it, it takes me back to a happy place and I just think about slow dancing with my best friend and husband” I say smiling.

“Do you and all the wives of the supernatural cast get along?” I read and I quickly nod.

“Those girls are some of my best friends, they know what it’s like to have a family and their husband work on supernatural so automatically we have something to bond over also with Alex’s wife she has a massive family so we often talk about the drama and problems that come along with it” I say laughing.

"Last one. What celebrity have you had beef with?" I read laughing.

"Daniel Radcliffe" I say quickly.

"But it was when we were younger filming the Harry Potter movies. We didn't like each other for like the first 4 movies" I say laughing.

"Our characters were close in the movie but on set we hated each other, I don't know why and I don't think he does either, I guess our energies just clashed but when we got to order of the Phoenix and we talked it out before we started filming and have been best friends in person ever since" I say laughing and tipping the bucket over.

"That was my last question. I'm Yn Padalecki and this has been answering fan questions. Thank you for watching and I hope you got a laugh out of at least some of these questions or you learned something you never thought you would learn about me" I say smiling at the camera

[ciggylungz]

Pray to me

word count. 4,077

Warnings-like probably the most risky smut i’ve ever written, church sex, wild stuff (sorry)

Pray to me:

(A random little smutty one shot relating to my bad boy harry series, it’s not going to affect the story line so just imagine this is another au for my au that’s an au. I just gave myself a stroke writing that.)

__

Detention.

A ‘punishment’ Harry Styles was used to getting by now, he was in his third year of Catholic high school and to say he has gotten his fair share of detention slips is a gross understatement. You’d think being surrounded by crosses would help subdue his cursing yet Harry didn’t seem to inherit the same fear his classmates did by the ‘word of god’ that was crammed down his throat every day. So, it wasn’t exactly tolerated when the boy strung a slew of curses together to describe the head Priest, or when he got caught smoking spliffs in the boys bathroom when he was supposed to be in math and well, those choices led him to where he is now. Slouched in a pew whilst the head nun was giving him a proper tongue lashing and explaining to him that he was to clean the chapel from top to bottom, smooth any creased pages in the 300 bibles that were stacked in the rows of pews, get any gum off the under side of them as well and wipe down the stain glass windows. The school had called his mum to tell her he would be home very late that day knowing the job would take a solid 4 or 5 hours to complete and that’s if he rushed it. To say he was pissed was putting it lightly, yet the biggest shock was yet to come when he heard the heavy wooden doors open and slam again as another person shuffled inside.

“Miss Yln, you’re here. Mister Styles here can tell you the duties you both must complete, here are the keys lock the doors when you both are finished. We’ll expect to meet with you before mass tomorrow to get a proper apology once the work if finished. Right-o, chop chop kids.”

The grouchy wrinkle faced nun thrust the keys into an anxious Y/n’s hands while she shuffled her way towards the exit, giving a careless slam of the 20 pound doors causing both Harry and Y/n to flinch. Harry was genuinely surprised to see Y/n there with him, he’s used to seeing her at mass or in line at confessional but detention? That was a new one for her. He took his time standing from his seat, cracking his back and neck whilst he settled onto his feet, casting a curious glance at the girl who stuck out like a sore thumb in the somber hostile environment. He knew Y/n well, he considers her a friend which is rare since he’s not the friendliest of people around town. Yet he liked Y/n, she was cute as button and what teenage boy doesn’t find an innocent girl wearing a catholic school uniform appealing?

“well well well miss sunshine, what did you do to get yourself this torment?” Harry gave her the quick once over, using his typical teasing nickname for the girl just to get her cheeks to blush a bit and help lighten the mood. Y/n blew out a breath out through her plump glossed lips, subconsciously stomping her foot a bit in annoyance which Harry thought was funny, and also cute. “I accidentally said a bad word in class! James tricked me into saying it and Sister Amy heard and gave me detention.” Her pout grew further when the boy chuckled at her attitude. “How did he trick yeh into saying somethin’?” Y/n grunted a bit, very peeved and mentally hexing James for what his actions caused her, “He said hold your tongue while you say apple…” Harry at this point was letting out a belly laugh, just imagining Y/n’s face when she realized she’d said asshole and finding humor in how ditzy she could be sometimes. “You fell for that? Did you not have a childhood? I thought everyone knew that trick, hon” Y/n simply smacked his arm and tossed the keys onto the nearest surface. “Shush Harry” her little finger pointed at him, trying to be serious but he found it comical. His hands moved out to poke her sides, knowing exactly how ticklish she was feeling content as Y/n squirmed and squealed. Adorable giggles falling from her lips and making the chapel seem a bit less creepy, her tiny hands trying to push his biceps back to free herself from his tickling fingers. “Ah! Harry!-“ she was trying to speak between her laughs, the boy one year her senior smiled, dimples sinking into the flesh of his cheeks, “Dunno what you expected, love. You thought you could tell me to shush?! no one tells me to do princess.” “Okay! Okay I’m sorry! I take it back!” after what seemed like an eternity to Y/n, but was only a few ticks over a minute Harry finally let go, smiling down at her while he ruffled her hair chuckling to himself while she tried to straighten her uniform back out. “That was not a fair fight Harry, you had an unfair weight AND height advantage!” y/n stuck her tongue out at him. “Hey, you started it bossy pants. You’re lucky I didn’t throw yeh over m’ shoulder and tossed yeh around. You got off easy this time missy.”

Harry wasn’t typically so playful and relaxed, he couldn’t bring himself to be so cold around Y/n. How could he? She’s sunshine personified, the real version of the rhyme ‘sugar, spice and everything nice’.  The girl was the only thing that kept him from dropping out. Y/n makes day to day bullshit tolerable for him…and well she also has given her inspiration more than once when he couldn’t sleep at night and resorted to a quick wank while mumbling of dirty phrases topped off with her name to send him off to dreamland.

 _______________________________

After some more shenanigans, the pair got to work on their scheduled tasks.  Y/n had started in the bibles in the first 6 pews on the right side of the chapel while Harry dug through a supply closet to get a ladder out to wipe the windows. He was contemplating if he should pretend to fall and collect an insurance claim instead of actually cleaning the 12-foot art pieces but he decided against it by the time he found what he was looking for. After setting the ladder up and grabbing the giant duster Harry decided to take his first break, he knew he was just procrastinating but who cares? He decided during his break he’d get Y/n to take one with him. “Hey love, wanna take a fiver?” Y/n looked up from the 12th bible she had fixed giving him a frantic nod, her mind numb from the task she was busy doing.

“what do yeh wanna do?” she left the choice up to the older boy, watching as he bit his lip lightly in thought, shrugging and scooting in next to her. “truth or dare?” he wiggled his eyebrows tempting her and being the compliant and very bored girl, she was, Y/n agreed.

“Okay you first Harry, truth or dare?” the boy pondered for a moment before shrugging, “Truth” he didn’t miss the way she was fidgeting with her skirt all excited for the game. “Ok, have you ever uhmmmm got drunk?” her innocence laced her tone, genuine curiosity. Her voice slightly lowered as if what she was asking was naughty which of course got Harry to chuckle, “Yes, pretty much every weekend. You’ve never drank? Not even once, love?” his left eyebrow raised and she timidly shrugged “Nope, I only had wine at communion but then it’s only a sip. Never been drunk before…Okay your turn!” he hummed slightly, “Truth or dare y/n?” “uhhh dare!” at this point she was squirming in her seat from her giddiness, and Harry took full opportunity over the chance he had. “I dare you to kiss me.”

Y/n wasn’t exactly expecting that one. She thought maybe he’d dare her to say another bad word or smoke one of his cigarettes, but he wanted her to kiss him…and she was confused on why she wanted to. She didn’t want to say no, she had the urge to follow through with it. The girl noticed the butterflies in her stomach she was used to getting when around her older friend, and a blush crawled up her neck to her cheeks. Harry sat with an amused smirk, darting his tongue out to lick over his lips whilst tipping his head to the side slightly, “cat got your tongue, love? What are yeh waiting for?” a pointer finger was placed under her chin to get her to look at him, and y/n decided it was better to bite the bullet and pushed her thoughts out of the way while quickly leaning in to give him a peck.

Harry was surprised she actually did it, feeling her lips on his for a split second before she pulled away with a shy giggle yet he was having none of that. “uh uh, a real kiss” his natural dominance reared it’s head when he grabbed the girl and plopped her on his lap, holding her jaw and planting his lips on her’s yet again coaxing her to move with him. When she didn’t respond how he wanted he tugged her hair a bit, biting her bottom lip and dragging it down so her mouth was pried open, “Being a tease y/n, keep your mouth open wanna taste ya’”

y/n’s head was swimming, she’d never done anything like this but her body went weak under Harry’s rough hold and demanding voice and so she complied opening her mouth so his tongue could infiltrate. She wasn’t really skilled in the kissing department; she’d only kissed one person before and it was nothing like this. Harry didn’t mind her clumsy, clueless movements he found it even hotter that she didn’t know what she was doing and he was the one cracking away at her purity. His heart was pumping, his fingers tangled in her hair as he tugged her by it to get her to move where he wanted her, it was hot. So fucking hot.

When he finally pulled away from the kiss he observed her. Plump lips now a flushed red, swollen and slick with her lingering lip gloss and their mixed spit. She was breathing heavily, eyes staring into his darkening ones. She looked amazing. “God…pet you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to fuckin’ do that” his tongue darted out to lick over his own lips frowning when he got a heavy taste of sticky lip-gloss , “gotta get this off yeh, it’s too sticky” his sleeve was pulled down to cover his palm whilst he rubbed the remaining product off her delicious lips before shuffling it back up to bunch at his elbows. “There, look a little dazed petal. Yeh alright?” Y/n nodded quickly at the question, smiling a little bit before kissing his nose and each of his cheeks then going back to his lips mimicking how he’d kissed her prior. The boy could hardly contain himself, taking over the kiss and pulling her hands off his face holding both her wrists in one of his hands yanking them above her head so she was completely bound. “No no no, little love. I make the rules hon, you don’t. I didn’t say to kiss me again did i? I didn’t say you could touch me, hmm? Being a bit naughty aren’t yeh baby?”

To say she was overwhelmed and a tad confused was accurate, she had really no experience in any sort of sexual situations all she knew is she was going to listen to Harry. His gaze was enough to melt her into submission. “Words Y/n, did I tell you to do those things?” his grip on her wrist tightened a bit, “No….no you didn’t tell me to…” his eyes were staring into hers a subtle hum exiting his throat. “Good girl, now tell me your sorry.” “I’m sorry, Harry” an adorable pout decorated her lips, Harry was loving this.

He let go of her hands, both of them falling into her lap where she folded them, making sure to follow the new rule of not touching without permission, waiting for what was going to happen next. Only a moment later did Y/n feel Harry’s right thumb pressing into her bottom lip, eyes jumping to meet his, “open” she complied, letting him slip his thumb past her lips to rest on her tongue, “Close, now suck.”

Her confused gaze met his stern one while she started suckling on his digit. She didn’t really understand why he wanted her to suck his thumb, regardless she did it.

It was taking everything in Harry to not bend the girl over and shove himself inside her, god he fucking wanted to but he had something else in mind. Something more sinful than two teenagers having premarital sex in a chapel, no he wanted to give the biggest ‘fuck you’ he could to the school, and the ‘god’ he was forced to submit to. He knew if all the preaching’s were true, this idea was his first-class ticket straight to the devil’s doorstep.

“Listen princess, you’re going to do what I say, okay?” Y/n gave a quick nod of her head, Harry scooting her off his lap and removing his thumb from her mouth as he guided her up the steps to of the pulpit where the priest usually gave his sermons, a holy pedestal of sorts but today it would get a new use.

“on your knees.” It wasn’t a request, it was an order. Harry stood in the center of the pulpit, the religious art work surrounding them did little to stop his ‘sinful’ desires. Desires of the flesh were the only thing on his mind.

Y/n was on her knees before him, looking up at her friend who had a smug sultry look on his beautiful face. His hands fumbled with his belt whilst he looked down at her.

“you’re going to pray to me now, angel.”

Y/n couldn’t believe she was really in this situation, kneeling under the podium in the pulpit where she hears sermons 5 days a week for 3 hours with Harry pulling his cock out. when he finally managed to get himself free a loud groan echoed in the sanctuary, one that made Y/n feel a tingle between her legs and salivate slightly. A strange new sensation she couldn’t describe, but she knew she liked it.

“open your mouth, sweetheart.”

Y/n had never seen Harry’s eye’s look so dark, his tone so demanding and his breathing so heavy. His cock loomed over her face, bobbing slightly with every beat of his heart whilst something clear and sticky was leaking from the tiny slit in the top of it webbing onto the underside of his tip. She was nervous, but she did as she was told opening her sweet little mouth so the older boy could guide the crown of his cock into the warm cavern of her virgin mouth. The sensation was the closest thing to heavenly Harry had ever felt in this room, her mouth was warm and wet. Tongue slightly textured and slick with the nice, thick spit that comes from the back corners of your mouth. It’s better than any lube you can buy truly. He instructed her to suck his flesh, hollowing her cheeks and massaging his prick with the flesh of her mouth for the very first time in her life.

“Holy fucking shit, doll…you sure this is yeh first time? Good little cock sucker aren’t yeh? On your pretty knees, praying to me now huh?” Harry could see his cock pushing into the side of her cheek as she nodded, her mouth stuffed full of his leaking member, and because Harry was Harry and liked to really make a statement he decided if he was going to hell for this, he might as well make it worth it.

His fingers plucked one of the small wooden crosses off of the staircase on the pulpit, it was a decoration dedicated to Christ yet he had other plans for it.

The boy took a step back from Y/n, moaning slightly at the sight of her following after his cock when it started slipping from her lips. She wanted it, she liked it and god he fucking did too but he couldn’t wait any longer to execute the idea that just tumbled into his mind. Harry snapped his fingers in front of the drooly lipped girl, getting her attention on his eyes instead of the cock she wanted so desperately back in her mouth. “Up, don’t be greedy yeh can finish me off when I’m done with yeh..” Harry lifted the girl by her underarms up onto the flat part of the pedestal, where a bible was sat opened to a scripture that was suddenly smothered by the doe eyed girls round plump ass. Harry wishes he could dig his teeth into it but that’s for another time.

Y/n didn’t resist at all when he tipped her back a bit, hiking her skirt up and spreading her legs. The only reaction she gave at first was a quick gasp when he ripped her school tights right at the crotch her white cotton panties now in his view. “cute” was mumbled under his breath as he toyed with the tiny pink bow stitched into the waistband of her panties, but soon they were gone as well pushed fully to the side to expose her cunt, a small smattering of light curls at the apex of her thighs. They looked soft, light and quite cute. He could tell they’d never been shaven off before by how soft they were, wasn’t a very course or thick section of hair. That was likely to come later in her life, but for now her cunt was the only thing he was willing to worship in the holy home of Christ.

“Fuckin’ beautiful…got a real nice little pussy, angel.” Y/n was past the point of being shy now, she was spread eagle perched on top of a open bible with her cunt on full display in front of her half naked friend. Modesty flew out the door a while ago. And so, she responded in a little whine and shimmy of her hips, feeling the cold air lapping at her hot center and cooling the slick that had collected between her folds that she didn’t even notice till now.

The boy thought he might have been in the midst of one of his wet dreams, the stereotypical catholic school girl splayed out in a chapel with his hungry eyes staring at her virgin cunt. He was trying his hardest to take a mental picture so he can relive this the next time he has a wank, but in this moment his plan was coming to fruition.

Harry held up the small wooden cross, holding it between his thumb and pointer finger. The piece of religious art was about as wide around as a taper candle and maybe a good 4 inches from the base to where it met the divider of the cross. Much smaller than his cock, but a good size to fuck his classmate with.

“Open.” His voice doomed after the stretch of silence, Y/n letting her lips fall open again gurgling a bit as the wooden cross was thrust into her mouth. Harry was purposefully being rough, pushing her gag reflex intentionally, “Gag on it, get it nice and wet. Do as I say y/n, m’ getting’ yeh throat to slick it up. Could shove it in yeh dry be glad I’m lubing it up pet.” With a few more jabs at her uvula the boy was content with the amount of thick spit that dripped down the object.

Y/n couldn’t help but squirm and mewl, feeling Harry split her labia. An audible clicking sound fell on their ears from the wetness adhering the folds of skin together, the sound gave a boost to his already prominent smirk. Once her engorged clit came into view Harry made a point to give it a few strong strokes with his thumb before pressing the end of the cross into the girl’s virgin opening. The sight was nothing short of filthy, completely sinful. He wouldn’t be surprised if the floor caved in and they fell straight to hell as he finally managed to press through her thin hymen gaining entry to the untouched inners of the girl.

The stinging caused Y/n to hiss slightly, her legs quivering as he finally made it inside her. A small streak of her purity stood out against the white wood. Harry couldn’t help but snicker to himself, he thought of Virgin Mary in this moment. Ironic right? The first thought into his mind when seeing Y/n’s virginal blood striping a cross was how this was a strange twist on the story of the savior’s mother.

His movements sped up considerably after the flimsy membrane of resistance was punctured. The cross now being plunged in and out of the girl’s sacred spot in quick succession while she gripped the railing behind her in an effort not to tumble off the stand.

“Would yeh look at that, might be the first girl in this school to get fucked with a cross, baby. Always knew you were special huh?” Harry migrated his hand down to thumb at her clit, the foreign sensation of something inside of her and a massaging of her pleasure organ had the girl pigeon toed and panting. Harry swears he’s never seen anything hotter than what he was doing in this moment. His arm was getting tired but he didn’t dare fucking stop. No, he decided he was going to violate the artwork until Y/n had her first orgasm clamping onto the now not so holy figurine.

Y/n could barely form a thought, pleasure wracking through her body and a strange sensation building inside of her. Harry mumbling filth to her was the icing on the cake, her body tipping over the edge. Her body went stiff before breaking out into shakes, vocal cords strained from the moans and yelps escaping her throat. Her first ever orgasm was the most intense feeling she had ever felt, and Harry almost came just watching her suddenly remembering his abandoned cock.

Y/n was scrambling to regain control over her body, pushing Harry’s wrists away with a slick popping noise following as the cross was removed from her body. Harry leaned down to kiss the panting girl, dribbling spit into her open mouth while she gasped for air. “good girl, you’re such a good girl.” His ring clad fingers pet her cheek lightly, the other hand sitting her up and tugging her forward giving her a shove to get her back onto her knees.

“Now, time to finish your prayer, love” His hand pushed his cock back into the cavern of her mouth, she suckled hard on him. Tongue lapping at the underside of his cock, suction hard on the crown of him. The way she gave harsh spongy movements of her tongue and cheeks had his knees weak having to hold himself up on the podium. “Shit, Christ pet I’m gonna cum”.

Harry felt his climax rapidly approaching, taking both of his hands and putting them on the back of her head forcing the entirety of his cock down the girls sore throat. The muscles already tired from all the noise she made with it, but she only dug her fingers into his thighs as he spilled down her tight throat.

Harsh breathing along with Harry’s pleasured chuckle were the only noises filling the room as the pair removed themselves from each other. Harry getting his control back, putting his cock away before pulling Y/n to her feet giving her a few smacking kisses as he helped straighten her out tossing her ruined tights into the trashcan.

“Think we took more than a fiver babe, guess we gotta finish now huh?”

His smirk was wide while he put the cross right back in it’s place, cum still dripping off of it.

[lubdubsworld]

Insatiable

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x OC

Rating 18+

Genre : Vampire Au!!!! , DILF! Jungkook ! Bodyguard AU! Babysitter OC!   Age difference!!!

Chapter 1   Chapter 2  Chapter 3    Chapter 4  Chapter 5

WARNINGS : THERES JUST WAY TOO MUCH FILTH HERE !!!!!!!!

A huge thank you for the banner  to @helenazbmrskai​

Chapter 6

“You sure you don’t want to take that?” Yugyeom gave me a look as i rejected the call for the umpteenth time.

“Oh..uh... Yeah.” I shrugged it off feeling exhausted. 

The whole point of going out with Yugyeom was to take a break from one Jeon Jungkook but that was impossible..... with said vampire calling me every five minutes. 

“So...anyways.... Mingyu was way out of line and I really wanted to apologize on behalf of the idiot. Although your bodyguard seems to have put the fear of God into him....Kid was trembling when he came home last night. “ Yugyeom chuckled. 

I smiled weakly.

“Yeah...he tends to do that.” I said hoarsely. 

Jungkook was the one topic I was hoping to avoid. Because having sex with him hadn’t scratched the itch the way I had thought it would.... It had merely amped my lust by a few hundred thousand times and I was ill equipped to handle it. I didn’t know what to do with myself around him and I was so fucking terrified I was going to do something awful;.

Like jump him in front of everyone. 

So I’d spent the whole day trying to be aloof but it hadn’t worked very well. 

Jungkook stuck close me , tossing lingering glances that made my skin heat up, , hands brushing mine way too often, eyes trained on me without any restraint 

And don’t even get me started on the  touching.

Hand brushing my waist when we turned a corner , fingers brushing my hair off my face when I had my hands full with the kids, an arm wrapped around my shoulder when Minhyuk had asked me out again. 

And I’m not saying i didn’t love it because it felt like Christmas and my birthday had come together but.... but... I had a job to do. With  kids.

It wasn’t the place to be fantasizing about how good your bodyguard’s cock had felt inside you. 

“Jungkook right? Jeon Jungkook ....” Yugyeom said thoughtfully. 

“Uh ...yeah...”

“Tall dude? Black hair? Looks way too intimidating and dresses like he’s just stepped off a runway?” Yugyeom prompted and I blinked.

“You know him?” I asked surprised. 

Yugyeom shook his head.

“No, but I think he’s over by the bar and he’s looking at me like he wants to tear out my jugular.” He said casually. 

My gaze snapped to the bar behind us and I felt my eyes widen in disbelief. 

Jungkook stood leaning against the bar, eyes narrowed dangerously and I groaned. 

So much for avoiding him. 

“He looks pissed.” Yugyeom commented.

“I kinda ditched him.” I muttered.

“did you tell him , I’m a friend?”

“Don’t think it would have made much difference.  Gimme a minute?” I whispered, and Yugyeom laughed, waving me off. 

I stood up slowly , bracing myself for the interrogation I knew was coming,  before turning around and walking over to him. 

Jungkook’s eyes stayed trained on me as I made my way over and I felt my throat go dry at the sight of him. He hadn’t dressed for the place today, a black turtleneck and a black jacket and black slacks with a silver belt buckle. Hair tousled all over his forehead as he stared, unsmiling. 

“Is this whole angel of death thing really necessary?” I whispered as soon as I reached him.” I’m sorry. I just needed to ...” stay away from you for a bit and last night was so amazing and i can’t stop thinking about it. 

“ You couldn’t take a few minutes to tell me where you were going?” He asked casually and I swallowed. 

“Jungkook, Yugyeom’s ...a good friend.” I muttered.

“How about you let me make that call?” He said coldly, eyes narrowed in annoyance and I felt chilled.

“I’m sorry... To be honest, I missed you. I’ve gotten used to you being around and I was going to cut the night short. I promise.” 

He scoffed. 

‘Really? I don’t believe you. For someone who spent the better part of a month begging for my cock, the novelty seems to have worn off pretty fast for you.” He said casually. 

My head snapped up , the words stunning me into silence. 

I could only gape at him. 

He gave me another lazy once over.

“And it made me wonder.....did I not  fuck  her good enough?”  

Oh, Christ. 

I felt my face turn a flame red , my fingers going clammy. 

“Jungkook, stop.” I whispered , glancing back at Yugyeom quickly. He was fiddling with his phone, 

“What’s wrong? You need to head back? YOur boyfriend’s gonna be upset?” 

I frowned. 

“He’s not my boyfriend.” I muttered. 

Jungkook grinned. 

“Right...he’s just the clown you wanted to suck off when you were younger...” 

“God, what’s gotten into you?” I groaned. 

Jungkook shrugged.

“I don’t like being ignored. It’s a character flaw of mine.” 

I gaped at him.

“I am not ignoring you.... I... I was out with a friend....It’s been less than an hour since I saw you... I literally spent the whole day with you.” I said shrilly. 

“Really? Then why’d you not pick up when I called....?” He waved his phone and I flushed, looking away. 

“Because I wanted an hour with an old friend....Without anyone interrupting.” I lied.  

Because you’re driving me in sane and I need an hour without you around so I can get my friggin body under control before I get arrested for public indecency. 

He clenched his jaw. 

“I see. “ He reached for a glass of wine on the countertop in front of him and turned around. “ Here” He held it out for me.

I took the drink, suspicious. 

“Go on , then.... I won’t interrupt...” He shrugged. 

I nodded, relieved.

Turning around I made to move away.

“Thought you’d be interested in a little gift I got you.... but if you’d rather spend time with the clown... I get that.” 

His voice was low and deep, a drawl that made the hair on my skin stand on end. 

I turned back to him, eyes narrowed. 

“What gift?” I demanded. 

He shrugged. 

“Nevermind.”

I felt my hackles rise. 

“Jungkook...”

“Are you sure.. what if that clown misunderstands... ...” he pointed a finger at my table and I glared at him. 

“Stop calling him that , God..his name is yugyeom. “ I snapped.

Jungkook’s smile was positively feral.

“Don’t know .Don’t care. So, you want it? You sure ?” He asked casually. 

i nodded, holding my hand out.

“Gimme .” I said quickly. 

He shook his head. 

“Can’t give it to your here,  angel.” 

I frowned , drawing my hand back.  

“There’s a ladies room on the fifteenth floor. It’s being renovated ... no one goes there... Meet me there in five?” 

I stared at him.

“There’s a firework show in half an hour. I don’t wanna miss it.” I protested. 

Jungkook gave me a thoughtful smile.

“You wanna watch the fireworks?”

I nodded. “ Yugyeom booked it for me. I wanna see it.” 

“Alright.. I’ll get you back in time for the fireworks.” He nodded, face frustratingly neutral. 

“Okay..then .. and I’ll meet you there.” 

“Can’t wait ...” He murmured softly. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The restroom on the fifteenth floor was deserted like he said and looked less like the ladies room and more like a luxurious parlor. The stalls were further in and the waiting space had beautifully upholstered couches and armchairs. Ornate mirrors hung on all the walls and I found Jungkook seated on one the couches, legs spread wide as he casually browsed his phone. 

I stepped in carefully , shutting the door behind me. 

Jungkook looked up at me, smiling. 

“Lock the door.” He said casually and I hesitated.

“Jungkook, we shouldn’t be-”

“If you need to be at the firework show , you need to stop wasting time baby...” He said firmly. 

I locked the door quickly, making sure it couldn’t be opened. 

I turned back around and jumped when I ran right into Jungkook, who had crept up on me. 

He smiled at me. 

“Hi.” He said gently. 

I felt myself melt . 

“Hi.” I laughed.

“Don’t like it when you ignore me.” He muttered. bending low and nipping my jaw. 

I grabbed his shoulders, knees weak. 

“Uh... is this the gift...?” I gasped when he bit down hard, teeth sharp on the skin and he licked the little abrasion, wet and warm. 

“Not really but I’ll get to it. Before that, “ He pulled away, “ I just realized I never got to eat you out yesterday.” 

The gears in my head stopped spinning. 

I could only stare at him, stunned/ 

“But, I like to be thorough and we don’t have that kind of time right now. So I’m just gonna ask you this.....Do  You regret last night?”

I blinked. 

What even...? I couldn’t keep track of his thought process. 

“No.. no of course not...” I said harshly.

“You wanna keep doing this?” He tilted his head, eyes boring into mine. 

 Only for the rest of my life. 

“Yes!!” I said angrily and he chuckled. 

“Okay...but angel, I don’t like it when you run around doing as you please without letting me know what you’re up to. What you did today...” He shook his head. “ That doesn’t work for me.”

I flushed.

“I said I’m sorry.” I muttered. 

“But are you?” He said thoughtfully. 

“what..What does that mean...?”

“Apologies don’t mean shit if you don’t back them up with actions. I’m just saying... you ready to back up your words by doing as I say?” his eyes flashed red. 

I hesitated. 

“What do you want me to do. ?”

“Just don’t ignore me.” He shrugged.

“Okay...” i agreed at once.

“ You can do that?” He asked with a frown.

“Uh...sure. “ 

He hummed. 

“I’m not so sure... I think you need a little help with that.” 

“Jungkook , what are you even -”

“Go lie down on the couch for me. “

I stared at him. 

“Hurry up baby, your boyfriend’s waiting upstairs remember? .”  He grinned. 

“Please stop calling him that...” I whined, moving to the wide couch in the corner and lying down after toeing off my shoes.

. Jungkook grabbed an armchair, dragging it close to the couch. He sat down , close enough to touch and I swallowed.  

Jungkook shrugged out of his jacket, tossing it on the arm of the couch , near my feet. 

He spread his legs and my eyes nearly popped out of my head when he began unbuckling his belt, dragging the leather out through the hoops before fiddling with the buttons on his fly. 

“I was thinking of last night. Was your first time right angel?” He asked casually and I stared as I watched his hands. Long nimble fingers gripping the zipper of his slacks and yanking the metal down , revealing black briefs. 

“Uh... I.. yes?” I felt my thighs clench in arousal, toes curling into the fabric of the couch.

 “  I’ve been around enough women to know that I’m bigger than average. “ He sank his fingers into his briefs, hands curling around the hardened length of his arousal and I flushed when he pulled his cock out, hard and thick. 

“Jungkook!” I whimpered, moving to scramble to my feet but he pressed a hand to my shoulder, pushing me back down.

“ Stay there angel.... Let me finish” He said sternly. 

I pouted, not entirely sure if I liked this Jungkook. Where was the sweet man who wanted to let me call the shots? 

 “ This is what I’m like. “ Jungkook said , grinning as though he could read my mind “ Just because I indulged you last night, doesn’t mean I’m gonna let you walk all over me ....Running off without telling me where you went? That’s not gonna happen again angel and I’m gonna make sure of it. ” He reached out and gently gripped my chin before squeezing down enough to make me wince. 

I glared at him before my eyes slipped back to his cock and my mouth watered. It looked so good, thick and hard and he was close enough for me to see the precum beading up at the slit. I wondered what it would taste like. How it would feel,

“Can I suck you off?” I asked softly, batting my lashes. 

He gave me an amused look.

“No. You can’t.  Anyways... Like I was saying , I know you said you were a virgin but then, you also took my fat cock like you’d been doing it all your life. “ He frowned. 

Blood rushed to my face in embarrassment. 

“That’s... you...” I spluttered. 

“And that’s when I realized... Just because you’re a virgin, doesn’t mean you haven’t fucked yourself. “ He grinned devilishly. 

I buried my face in my hands.

“Oh god...” I choked.

“Guess what I found in your room...” 

My eyes snapped up to him and he was rummaging in his jacket pocket. 

I shrieked when I saw a very familiar vibrator , a pale mauve in color. It wasn’t very long but it was really thick, only a hairsbreadth smaller than Jungkook. 

I glared at him.

“You went through my things!!” i yelled affronted. 

He rolled his eyes. 

“Hardly.  It was literally on your bed when I went looking for you in the evening because I couldn’t fucking find you.. “ He snapped. 

I shut my mouth. 

“Okay...fine ..yeah I use sex toys. Big  deal.” I muttered. 

He shook his head. 

“No it isn’t. Which is why I want you to show me. “ He leaned back, casually wrapping a hand around his cock. I stared at him as he casually began stroking the hard length of his dick, after licking his palms. 

Did he really think I was too shy to put on a show? 

Boy was he in for a surprise. 

Smiling evilly, I pulled my dress up quickly, hooking my thumbs into my panties and yanking them down quickly, kicking them off. 

I gave him a smile. 

“Can I turn around? You’ll have a better view.” I smirked. 

His eyebrows shot up.

“Go ahead, princess. Better impress me.” 

I rolled my eyes at that. 

Sitting up , I sat back down against the cushioned arm rest, keeping my eyes trained on his and I bent my knees and spread my legs, utterly shameless because well... because I had always liked the idea of being watched. 

Jungkook wasn’t shy by any standards and his gaze flitted right between my legs without any hesitation. 

“Pretty.” He murmured gently and I fought the rush of embarrassment. I’d started this and I was going to see through it. 

“What am I supposed to get turned on by?” I asked innocently running my fore and middle finger up andn down my slit gently. I was really fucking wet on the inside but he couldn’t know that.  

And just for good measure, I let my gaze drop to his cock and back up, looking bored. 

His eyes narrowed. 

“How about the way I filled your sloppy little cunt last night? Remember that?  Remember how fucking wet you got, just from me licking your nipples....?” He smiled. 

I felt my throat go dry and my pussy clenched,  damp wetness seeping out and coating my hand  and my fingers slipped right in  before I could do anything about it. 

Jungkook laughed, eyes trained where my fingers had disappeared. 

He kept his hands on his cock and leaned in closer, kissing the edge of my earlobe.

“Thought so. “ He whispered right into my ears, :” My horny little slut. Bet you walk around all day with that cunt dripping wet and ready. Bet I could fuck into you with ease, anytime I want...just flip that skirt up, push your panties aside and drive my cock into you, yeah? “ He licked a stripe up my cheeks and I shuddered,  pumping my fingers into my pussy faster, “  Virgin..???  what a fucking joke... You are the farthest thing from a virgin my sweet little whore...” 

“Jungkook...” I whimpered and he gripped my wrists, stilling my fingers and pulling them out. He pulled my hand closer, right up to his mouth and I groaned when he wrapped his lips around the wet and messy digits, licking up all the wetness there.

“Sweet and spicy , just like I thought...” He directed my fingers back down between my fingers...” Get more of that wetness for me baby...want you to jerk me off with that hot slick you have dripping between your thighs...” 

:” On your knees.” He prompted and I sank down in front of him. “Jerk me off, baby...Make me feel good...” He whispered, spreading his legs and I wrapped shaky hands around his cock. I swallowed , gazing at him , licking my lips as I stroked his dick, faster. He took one of my hands and directed them down to his balls.

“Like this... This makes me feel good..”He whispered, showing me just how he liked to be touched .I nodded, following his lead and speeding up my movements, gripping a little tighter, using my thumb to trace circles on the head, rubbing the wetness around his slit and the thick vein on the underside of his cock. 

He groaned and shuddered a little. And then he leaned forward, gripping my chin. 

“ I want you to get on my lap now.... and then I’m gonna cum inside you “

I whimpered, already scrambling to my feet but before I could get on him, he gripped my waists. 

“ Let me finish, angel.I’m gonna fill you up with my cum and then I’m gonna stick this , “ He held the vibrator up, “ inside you . If you can keep your slutty little pussy tight enough for me, keep this thing  and my cum inside you till tonight...maybe you’ll get your gift. “ 

I stared at him, my jaw coming unhinged. 

 What. 

WHAT.

He pulled me closer, maneuvering me onto his lap and I swallowed. 

“I’m not... I can’t..” I whispered.

“Sure you can.. I believe you. But if you don’t want to.” His gaze softened. “ We can forget all about it.” 

I bit my lips, staring into his gorgeous face and and really, it was a no brainer. I wasn’t going to say no to Jeon Jungkook. It was just not going to happen. 

I spread my thighs and he grabbed his cock, tracing the tip on my slit.

“Ready?” 

I nodded, sinking down on the hard length easily. My breath caught , fingers curling into his shoulders as I swallowed the whimper that threatened. God he was so fucking big inside me. So hard and real and good and I wanted to sit on his cock forever. Wanted to stay locked in a room with him forever,  just fucking and teasing and fucking again and only stopping to shower or eat. 

“Don’t cum.” He said gently.” You don’t get to cum till I tell you to. You understand baby?” 

I whimpered as he fucked into me just once or twice. Warm wetness flooded my insides and I clutched his shoulders, burying my face there as he groaned, fucking me full of his release. 

He grabbed the vibrator from the couch and I swallowed when he brought it down to my entrance.

“Ready baby? Gonna pull my cock out and put this in.....Need to you clench down on it and keep my cum in... Don’t make a mess alright?” He kissed my cheeks sweetly, the affectionate gesture a complete contrast to his filthy words. 

I did make a mess... 

A little bit and the vibrator was thick enough to stay lodged in, and I felt my eyes roll back in my head as he pushed it in fully. 

“You okay?” He whispered, kissing me softly before running his palms up and down my thighs. “Gonna help you put your panties on, baby. okay? keep your pussy clenched for me. ” 

I nodded weakly, trying to keep my muscles clamped around the hard length of the toy inside me as he helped slip my bikini briefs back up my thighs. 

“You okay?” 

I nodded.

“Good. Let’s go see those fireworks, shall we?” He grinned devilishly. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook stood leaning against the wall of the rooftop restaurant , arms crossed as he watched her, a smile playing around his lips as he watched her squirm, shifting her weight from on thigh to the other as she tried to sit on the hard backed chair, her eyes glassy and unfocused as the Kim vampire talked to her. 

Dude didn’t seem to realize that she was so out of it she probably didn’t understand a word he was saying. 

He stayed in the shadows because the front of his thighs was stained with cum, a little bit of white streaks, stark against the black of his slacks. She had let a little of it spill out of her when he’d pulled out...which was a little sloppy of her and usually, Jungkook would punish something like that in a partner but...well because it was the first time he would just let it pass. Besides, he was sure she would improve with time.

He trained his eyes back to her hips and his lips quirked when gripped she armrest, shivering a bit. 

This felt better,  he thought.

Watching her with other men was easier when he knew that he was the one on her mind. Knew that all she could think about was keeping his cum inside her, the hardness of the toy a reminder that he was the one she was trying to please and impress.  

He slipped a hand inside his pocket, playing with the tiny little remote . 

Should he? 

Would it be too much? 

He smirked. 

Only one way to find out. 

He thumbed the small knob at the top of the remote, eyes trained on her .

The moment he flipped it on , at the smallest setting possible, she went completely still.

And he wondered how it felt, the electric vibrations of the toy against her insides...he wished he could see it...she her pussy spread out for him, pink and wet and swollen and wrecked.... God, the things he wanted to do to her. 

It annoyed him a bit, how shamelessly she’s spread her legs on that couch, let him see the pink of her cunt without an ounce of shame .....annoyed him because he wasn’t sure if it was for  him  or because it was what she was  like.... 

Annoyed him because if it wasn’t for just him.... would she do it for other too? 

He couldn’t stomach the idea of it. 

That pretty pink pussy, so wet and wanting...he wanted it all for himself . He wanted her legs spread out on his bed, her arms tied to the fucking bedposts so he could show her just how dangerous he could be when he wanted to....

That just because he’d let her take the lead didn’t mean he would settle for anything less than her complete submission.

Smiling, he turned the vibrations up a little bit, smirking as he watched her. 

Sera gripped the armrest gently, raising her hips off the chair a bit and turning around slowly to stare right at him.

He grinned wide, relishing the shocked desperation on her face. He pushed away from the wall, sauntering over to her slowly till he was right behind her. 

“Doing okay? baby?” He whispered gently for her ears only.

“Don’t do this to me.” She said softly, nails digging indents into her part as she clenched her fists , resting her hands on her knees.

He hummed. 

Poor baby, he thought fondly. . When this night was over he would shower her with kisses. Giver all the affection. Cuddle the fuck out of her, brush her hair back and make her feel so, so , good. 

But the night was  far  from over. 

He glanced at her companion.

Yugyeom gave him a smile and nod, went back to talking about art or something. 

Sera had her eyes fixed straight ahead, glassy and unfocused. 

He leaned over to whisper into her ear.

“Don’t forget...You cannot cum.” 

And then he sauntered back over to his place near the wall, before slipping his fingers into his jacket and turning up the tempo for her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Was fun catching up, Sera... I’ll text you, yeah?” Yugyeom gave me a light hug and I stared at him, slightly teary eyes and about a second away from collapsing into a heap on the floor. 

I was sore and tired and a little out of my mind. The fireworks had lasted fifteen minutes.

It had felt like a year. 

And I hadn’t even watched them because I had kept my eyes screwed shut, concentrating only on not cumming, because if I did, not only would I literally drip all over the chair , but I would likely scream loud enough to wake the dead. 

Jungkook had turned the toy off when the show ended but it had done nothing for me...in fact it felt worse because the lack of stimulation was even worse than the steady thrum of the toy against my walls. 

Jungkook looked entirely unaffected as he watched me bid good bye to Yugyeom and it was only when he had driven away that he lightly took my arm.

“You okay baby?” He gave a me a slow smile and I glared at him through wet lashes.

“I won’t go anywhere without you again. I promise. Please just get this out of me.” 

He cooed, pulling me into a hug. 

“Alright angel. I believe you. Come on...” 

He led me to the large black Palisade , grabbing the keys from the valet.

“Get in the back seat.” He prompted. 

I nodded, too out of it to even question it. I climbed into the seats and sat down, whimpering when the toy moved inside me, shifting in deeper. My clothes were damp , almost soaking wet and my thighs trembled. 

He glanced at me.

“Can you hold on till we get home?” He asked  gently.

I stared at him, unseeing. Tears filled my eyes and spilled over.

“Please.” Was all I could get out. 

“Fuck, okay baby. Hang on.” 

Jungkook drove quickly, pulling out of the hotel premises and into the road. But instead of taking the left like he usually did, he took a U turn, picking a side road that led away from the city’s bustle . 

I gripped the seats as he drove in further away from the crowded city light , only blinking when he took a right into secluded side road, empty except for us.

I stared in confusion as he parked the car , turned off all the lights  in the car. I watched him climb out of the front seat, slamming his door shut before prying mine open. 

“Lay back for me baby. Up against the door.” He said gently. And then when I didn’t move he climbed, in all but lifting me up and settling me down till, I was leaning against the door, staring down at him.

He didn’t waste any time, spreading my legs, and pulling my panties off before pushing my knees up and apart. 

“Gonna eat you out.” He growled and my eyes flew open, the first pang of lucidity hitting me. 

“Wha-Wait...your...there’s...inside, there’s....” I couldn’t even say it. 

“My cum? Yeah... i know my cum’s inside there...” Jungkook laughed, fingers gripping the base of the vibrating and twisting it just a little bit. “ i know angel, and now I’m gonna lick my cum out of your sopping wet pussy..” 

Jungkook pulled the vibrator out of me and I sobbed at the gush of wetness that dripped out of me. But it didn’t spill, because he chased the wetness with his tongue, curling the hard length of it inside me, scooping up every last drop of the filthy mess inside me, taking it all into his hot, wet mouth . 

He hummed a little before pressing a thumb to my clit, rubbing the nub till I began quivering already way too overstimulated to experience anything but a throbbing pain disguised as pleasure. I stared at him , vision swimming as he crawled to his knees on  the back seat, head bowed because of the car’s ceiling and I watched him fumble with his belt, pulling out his cock and lining it up against my entrance. 

He drove straight in, without any hesitation, leaning over me till his face was just a little away from mine, staring down at me, cheeks a little puffed. He fucked into me with a force that shook the car on its wheels, the large vehicle somehow shaking like a leaf from how hard he thrust into me. I felt like my body was on fire, breath getting punched out of me with every thrust of his cock inside me and I could only whimper , fingers curling and uncurling on the seat as I rode the high of being fucked into incoherency. 

Jungkook grunted, hipped my waist hard used one hand to rub my clit harshly. 

And then he bought his other hand up to slip two fingers into my mouth, prompting me to open my mouth. The digits slipped in , rubbing the flat of my tongue before pulling out. 

I stared wordlessly, as his fingers slipped down to cup my jaw, squeezing till I opened my mouth wide. I stuck my tongue out instinctively and he groaned. 

Jungkook gave me cheeky little wink, eyes flashing red before he opened his mouth, spitting the wet mess of his cum and my juices right onto my tongue just as he pulled back and drove into me, his cock going so deep I saw actual fireworks. 

I went completely still, the sheer filthiness' of the act and the force of his thrust driving me straight over the edge , even as he groaned and kissed me full on the lips, tongue swooping in to swirl the mess on my tongue all over, his fingers gripping my hair as he fucked me harder, chasing his own pleasure now. 

My body hummed, exhausted, drained, completely wrung out and wrecked. 

I went limp as he gave one last thrust, spilling into me again. 

He was panting against my neck as he came down from his high and I raised a shaky hand to gently stroke the back of his head as he shuddered against me.

When he pulled back to stare at me, brushing my damp hair off my face he had a smile on his face. 

“Did you enjoy the fireworks baby?”  He whispered.

It took me two whole minutes to even remember what he was talking about.  

Author’s note : 

Jungkook sure knows how to get her attention back on him doesn’t he? 

@ladyartemesia        @veronawrites   @alpaca1612     @bonyg    @unseejuice21  @sppvjj     @ggukkieland     @tae-by-tae      @blr1004      @yoongichild    @stussyjeon  @jellybearo  @sumzysworld   @carolsummerlove

@bunniechoon

@preciouschimine    

[thebookreader12345]

Meet the Parents

Pairing: Jay Halstead x reader

Summary: Jay and Y/N have been dating for awhile now, and it’s finally time for Jay to meet her parents

Requested: No

Warnings: slight swearing, mention of having sex

Word Count: 1,596 Words

“Look at that. Another case solved. We are officially the best unit ever,” Adam spoke.

I laughed. “I mean, you’re not wrong. Hey, has anyone seen Jay?”

“He was just in the locker room,” Hailey informed me as she packed up her things.

“Yeah. Any reason why he looked like he was about to piss himself?” Antonio asked me.

“He’s meeting my family for the first time tonight. I should go talk to him. I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” I tell the team and make my way towards the locker room. When I got inside, I found Jay sitting down on one of the benches, his legs resting on either side of the wood. “Hey,” I greet and straddle the portion of the bench in front of him so that we were mirror images. “What’s going on?”

“What if they don’t like me?” Jay asked and looked up at me.

“Why would you think that? You’re an amazing guy, Jay,” I murmur and take his hands in mine. “And my parents and sister are going to love you.” I leaned forwards and pressed a chaste kiss on his lips, which lasted longer than I expected, but I didn’t mind. When Jay and I finally parted, I rested my forehead against his. “I love you.”

Jay gave me a small smile. “I love you too.” After leaving the locker room, Jay and I packed up our things and headed back to our shared apartment. While we had only been dating for a few months now, we had known each other from work for a good amount of time, so it wasn’t a hard choice to make when Jay asked if I wanted to move in with him. At the apartment, I kicked off my shoes, took off my jacket, and then dragged Jay over to the couch for some cuddle time. I pressed myself against his chest and draped an arm over his waist, him doing the same for me, and just laid against him. Being in Jay’s arms always put me at ease, and I’m sure it did the same for him because I could feel the shift in his mood. For a while, we lounged around the house, but soon, it was time to get ready to go to dinner at my parents’ house.

“Babe, are you almost ready?” I ask and head into the bedroom, only to find Jay staring at his dresser. “Jay, why are you not dressed yet?”

“I don’t know what to wear,” Jay replied.

I chuckled softly and walked over to his dresser, pulling out a plain gray t-shirt and blue jeans. “Put this on. It’s my favorite outfit on you, except when you’re naked, of course.” Jay shook his head with a smile playing at his lips and took the clothes from my hands. “Now go get changed. I don’t want to be late.” Once Jay had finally gotten dressed, we made our way out front where my car was parked and climbed in. As we started driving, I could tell Jay was beginning to get nervous again. It didn’t take long to get to my parents’ house, and as soon as we got out of the car, I wrapped my arms around Jay’s torso. “Just be yourself. Everything is going to work out. I promise.”

“Okay,” Jay mumbled and laced his fingers with mine as we made our way up to the front door. I rang the doorbell, hearing the pleasant jingle go off in the house, and seconds later, the door opened to reveal my little sister, Elizabeth, or Lizzie for short. She was a whole 8 years younger than me, which, when we were little, was a huge difference, but now it didn’t matter too much.

“Hey, Lizzie,” I greet and step forward to give her a hug. Lizzie hugged me back quickly, and when I stepped back, I glanced towards Jay. “Lizzie, this is my boyfriend Jay. Jay, this is my sister Lizzie.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Jay spoke and held out his hand, which Lizzie shook politely.

“You too,” Lizzie greeted and scanned him up and down before turning to me. “Y/N, why wasn’t I aware that your boyfriend was this hot? I would have put on some nicer clothes.”

“You look fine right now,” I tell her and lead Jay into the living room, where Lizzie’s college textbooks were scattered all over the coffee table.

“What are you studying?” Jay asked Lizzie.

“Uh, molecular biology. Sorry about the mess,” Lizzie muttered and went to clean up her books.

“It’s cool. My older brother actually majored in biology. He’s a doctor over at Chicago Med,” Jay said.

“Y/N? Is that you?” my mother called out from somewhere deeper in the house.

“Yeah. Is dad with you?” I question and gesture for Jay to follow me.

“Of course he is. You know he can’t go 5 minutes without sneaking some food,” my mother replied. I laughed and went down the hallway at the back of the living room, which had the bathroom, dining room, and stairs branching off from it, and at the back of the house was the kitchen, where both my mom and dad were. My mother was busy putting dough into a circular tray while my father was digging through the pantry looking for something to snack on. My mother then looked up from what she was doing, and when she saw me and Jay, she smiled. “You must be Jay. Y/N talks about you quite a bit, you know.”

Jay grinned. “I wasn’t aware.”

“Well, I can see why. You’re very handsome. You and Y/N would have beautiful babies,” my mother commented.

“Mom,” I hiss as I felt my cheeks begin to heat up.

“What? I’m just putting it out there. Do you like deep dish, Jay?” my mom asked.

“I love it,” Jay responded.

“Good. I’ve been making it homemade since Y/N was born. Louis, get your head out of the pantry and greet Jay,” my mom scolded to my father, who still hadn’t emerged from the pantry.

“Yeah yeah, Janine,” my father said and exited the pantry, closing the door behind him. He then extended his hand to Jay. “It’s nice to meet you, son.”

“Nice to meet you too, Mr. L/N,” Jay concurred.

“All right. I’m going to show Jay around. Please do not take out any embarrassing photos while we’re gone,” I urge my mother.

“No promises,” my mother said with a small smile. I shook my head and led Jay out of the kitchen and up the stairs, where we entered the first door on the left.

“Welcome to my childhood bedroom,” I reveal. Nothing had changed since I had moved out to attend college. The walls were a light gray along with the carpet and my bed set, seeing as I had a neutral theme going on. My twin sized bed sat in the far right corner with my desk in the far left. On it were some fake plants, a few picture frames, and scattered souvenirs I had picked up along the years. Immediately on our right you had my dresser, and to our left I had two white beanbags sitting on the floor. Jay headed straight to my desk and examined the pictures within the frames.

“You have not changed one bit,” Jay told me.

“Oh shut up,” I tease. After showing Jay the rest of the house along with the backyard, dinner was finally ready. We all sat down at the kitchen, and that’s when the questions started.

“So, Jay, how long have you been a police officer?” my father asked.

“Not my whole life, like some people may think. I actually used to be in the army. I was a Ranger,” Jay informed my family.

“No shit. I was in the Marines,” my father responded.

“When did you know you wanted to be with Y/N? I want all the details,” Lizzie demanded with a huge smile on her face.

“Um, there was one night after work where Y/N and I were at Molly’s together having a few beers. And as we were talking, I realized that I couldn’t survive without her, so I asked her out,” Jay answered. Finally, after eating dinner and talking for about another hour or two, it was time for Jay and I to head back out to our apartment. Jay was waiting for me by the front door when my mother pulled me aside.

“He’s a lovely guy, Y/N,” my mother exclaimed. “I really like him.”

“Yeah,” I say. “Me too. I’ll talk to you later, mom.” As Jay and I walked out of the house hand and hand, I stopped in my tracks and pulled Jay down so that our lips touched. I could feel Jay smile against my lips as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to his chest.

“What was that for?” Jay asked me.

“I love you,” I tell him.

Jay grinned. “I love you too. So, how’d I do?”

“Amazing. My whole family loves you. I told you it’d be fine,” I reply.

“And you were right. What do you say we get back home and celebrate on how well this went?” Jay suggested.

“What are you thinking?” I question.

“Maybe an activity that involves your clothes on the floor,” Jay whispered in my ear, which sent a shiver down my spine.

“You don’t know how turned on that just made me. You better speed home,” I state.

“Oh, I was planning on it,” Jay said.

__________________________

Tag List:

@prettypyschoinpink @securityfriendly-jay @scarletsoldierrr @lorenakaspersen @virtualreader @carnationworld @caitsymichelle13 @dreamingmanip @campingmonkey @winterberryfox @nevertoofarfromivar @anotherfan07 @giagma @mrspeacem1nusone @i-like-sparkly-things