#I’ve been horribly anxious for a while

[mandoholyhell]

I want to see what happened to howdy pillar

Howdy: Alright you gave me the shot, now get the hell out

Eddie: Uhh o-ok…

(I’m going feral over them)

Bonus underneath!

Wally: Hi, Frank. What are you doing?

Frank: Damn Howdy fizzed up my baby girl, so I’m giving him a quick ‘visit’

Wally(off-screen): Here, this may help you

Frank: Aww, thank you Wall-

Frank: !

Wally: And tell Howdy I said Hello.

[eclipsedcrystalstar]

Mmmm wanna talk about CV but have anxiety of people being mad at how I do the characters now

[shawnxstyles]

personal 2

DATE: SEPTEMBER 9, 2023

summary: you can’t stop thinking about your first orgasm, so you try to relieve yourself of the ache. when you’re left unsatisfied, you reach out to harry for some guided practice.

words: 6.6k

requested: a bunch!

warnings: SMUT (f- receiving [masturbation, dry humping (?), thigh riding/rubbing], praise kink, dirty talk), language, and two horny best friends

note: this is a new series i plan on writing (but i don’t know if i want it to have a plot or just blurbs)!! i literally have so many requests (what’s new…), but i have a lot of motivation to write this right now, plus i’ve gotten a lot of requests for it as well. i hope you guys don’t mind the delay of my other writings… x PART THREE

bestfriendrry x inexperienced!reader

—

It’s been a week since you last saw Harry.

Yeah, you’ve texted here and there. Maybe if you saw some funny video that you just had to tag him in or vice versa you would, but you haven’t actually seen him. Not physically. You think if you did, you might just die.

The second that you rose up from his bathroom floor after having your first orgasm ever (and mind you, it was mind-blowing), you stiffly cuddled up with him on the couch to watch the movie he picked out. If he seemed confused by your quietness or hardened body, he didn’t say it. Your head on his chest would vibrate every time he laughed at something funny, but it was hard for you to voice some of your own giggles out. You couldn’t focus on anything other than his body pressed against yours, so similarly yet so differently to how it was merely hours before.

From your position, you were able to feel his heart beating, organ pumping blood and keeping him alive. Stable. And that’s all you felt from him; his stableness and calmness. Your heart was thrashing around anxiously in your rising chest while he was just calm. His lively beat was as calm as the ocean waves, so relaxing that you drifted off to sleep before the movie had ended.

In a deep, much-needed slumber, Harry could feel your body loosen up. He didn’t want to say anything, but he could feel your tenseness. That was the opposite of what he wanted to happen. Orgasms were supposed to make a person relaxed and stress-free, but your body felt nothing like that. He could practically hear all your anxious gears overthinking in your little head. He wanted to pry every thought out and reassure you that whatever you’re thinking is fine and that he’s there for you. But he knew he had coaxed enough out of you when you spilled out your biggest secret to him, earning yourself your first orgasm in the process.

So, Harry never brought it up. Not through the funny parts of the movie, the romantic scenes, or even the ads. He just let the air between you guys grow incredibly thick with your silence, but pretended like he could see through the fog. He remained as nonchalant as possible–it was his forte after all. After you fell asleep, Harry let the movie ride out. He tried to pay attention the whole time instead of pondering what you might be thinking, but he didn’t do too well. If someone were to quiz him on the film, he would fail horribly.

Harry shuts the television off and cradles you up into his arms. Your head lumped onto his shoulder like dead weight before you snuggled up right into his neck. Harry had carried you many times before, and even more times while you’re asleep like that, but the way his skin was getting all warm and melty was something he’d never experienced with you. Your nose was right up against his pulse and it made him feel sensitive and vulnerable, but also so warm and alive. It was really hard for him to stay calm.

When he reached his bedroom, he gently unwrapped you from his body and laid you on his bed. He watched in awe as you immediately curled into a ball like a fetus, trying to hold on to something for comfort. After a few minutes, Harry joined you in his bed and threw your hands around him. Your subconscious didn’t hesitate to scoot closer and bathe in his body heat, snuggling into your favorite pillow; his chest.

It was really hard to stay calm.

You both woke up and went on your way for that day as if nothing happened. You had an afternoon lecture that you had to catch and Harry had to go to work. It was alright. Everything was fine. Everything was normal. Right?

But you couldn’t stop thinking about Harry.

Normally, that would never have been a problem. He’s your best friend, so of course you think about him all the time! Sometimes, you’ll see a sign or a poster on the news board when walking to class that reminds you of one of your guys’ inside jokes that you just have to send to him. If he sees something too, he’ll send it your way. You both find it fun and endearing at the same time because that’s what best friends do; so alike and attuned that they’re always on the same wavelength of thinking. It was normal. But the way you’re obsessively thinking about Harry isn’t normal. You couldn’t even convince yourself that it was and that’s saying something.

Your mind kept drifting off to the way everything played out last week. Even when you were in class on Friday afternoon (one week later) you just couldn’t help thinking of the cold bathroom floor and the fiery body pressed against you. It was so contrasting–it was so wrong. The angel and the devil on your shoulders were bickering more than ever, and you didn’t have a clue whose side you were on.

Harry’s assertive voice echoed in your head, almost as if you were trying to remember it. You had never heard him talk the way he was talking to you last Thursday. It was deep, sultry, and demanding—something you never would have known you liked. You’re not even sure if you actually liked that or if you just liked when Harry did it. Well, you don’t really have anything to base your sexual likings on yet…

When his hands delicately touched and teased you, down your stomach, down your thighs, you felt it. You felt it for days after. His touch lingered like a ghost on your skin, etching a tattoo of himself on you forever. It was blinding and fogging your vision so much, you couldn’t even focus in class. The second that your Friday class was over, you shot straight home. You didn’t look at your phone as you hurriedly discarded your shoes and jacket and stumbled into your bedroom.

You plopped yourself on your mattress with a familiar goal in mind that you were never able to achieve before; you were going to masturbate. Now that you could do it, you were going to relieve yourself of this… stress.

It only took a few seconds before your clothes were completely off and your head was planted against the headboard. You widened your legs and watched your lips slowly pry themselves open with the stretch. You swallowed, small anxiety bubbling in your throat. But you knew what you were doing now. You knew how to do it right because Harry showed you.

Oh fuck. You should not be thinking about Harry right now.

A small amount of wetness coated your labia. It was inevitable–the second his name popped into your head, your mind began to not only recall but wander. You remembered his gravelly voice in your ear, guiding you, showing you, teasing you, praising you. You remembered the ghost of his touch that you attempted to replicate with your own, but it wasn’t the same. And of course, you remembered his bulge that was harshly pressing into your lower back, pleading to be helped. You remembered everything a little too vividly, but it made you so wet thinking about it, and it made it so easy to rub the little button that Harry showed you.

Your clit was puffy, swollen, and needy just like you. Your middle finger circled over it with desperation, snatching some of your wetness to make it sloppier. Your breath started to become unsteady as your eyes trained on your pussy, now soaking with your arousal.

This is when your mind begins to wander. You start imagining things that you haven’t done with Harry yet, but were so intrigued by. You imagined getting on your knees for him and taking him in your mouth, so you could finally relieve his bulky ache. He would encourage you, caress you, and call you a “good girl” in his thick, leather-like voice. The thought of satisfying him until he’s groaning above you has you spreading your legs wider and spinning your finger around your clit faster.

Just like Harry did, you snake your hand up to one of your peaked nipples. You found it was difficult to rub yourself while also tweaking your pebbled buds. It was definitely something you needed to gain muscle memory on, especially if you planned on doing this when you got stressed. Which was often.

You didn’t know how often you would get wet though. You hoped it wasn’t too frequently because like right now, you weren’t completely fulfilled. If you had to do this every other day, you would probably be even more upset if you weren’t satisfied each time. You felt that chase-like desire bubbling up inside of you, like with Harry, but it wasn’t nearly as blissful. Maybe the first one is always better than the rest and with each one you’ll just be a little more disappointed as time goes on. But as a shrieked moan leaves your mouth when you orgasm, a small voice in the back of your head is telling you the real reason you’re not satisfied.

Harry isn’t here.

—

On Saturday morning, after sleeping like shit under your shoe, you asked Harry if you could come over. Usually, you would have more self-control, but there was something about an orgasm that strangled and stole any self-preservation you had.

When you woke up, you went straight to the bathroom just to find out you were wet. Again. The word really? spilled from your lips before you could stop it. You assumed that you had some type of dirty dream, and you wouldn’t be surprised if it was about Harry. But you’re glad you didn’t remember it. You were hurriedly wiping up your mess and tossing your shorts in your laundry bin. In some type of rush, you took a speedy shower like it was a competition.

Then you stared at your phone, wondering if you should do it. Should you text Harry? You’ve never thought about it this much ever, but one message could mean everything if he looked at it right. What if he thought you were obsessed with him?

No, don’t think that.

Texting your best friend is normal. Asking your best friend for sexual help was normal too. Right…?

Y/N: hey, what are you doing today?

You felt a little nervous. Not because you were texting Harry but because of what your intentions were. What if he felt like you were just using him? Your heart spiked when you saw the three small bubbles.

Harry: I just got off work

Harry: Want to come over?

He knew you too well.

—

The second he texted you he was home, you went towards his place. With every red light you hit, you bubbled with anticipation, drumming your fingertips on the steering wheel. Your anxiousness turned into a ball of excitement when you were actually in front of his door.

He opened it with a charming smile, one that you recognized all too well. You welcomed yourself inside and tried to seem as normal as possible. But you couldn’t think of a single thing to say. Your mind kept wandering back to that feeling in your lower stomach.

“So… how was work?” You asked, creating some small talk as you plopped yourself on his couch. The very couch where everything started.

That was not helping.

Harry gave you a look, one with squinted eyes and a half chuckle. “Fine? What’s up?”

“What’s down?” You cringed as the words came out, your nervousness shining through.

“Why are you acting so weird? Are you okay, Doll?” Your stomach simmered at the nickname, differently than ever before. You had a feeling that name was never going to be the same for you again. You sighed, squeezing your legs together as Harry dropped himself next to you. His close proximity was nearly killing you. Not only did he radiate warmth but he smelt good—like he just showered in a tropical forest.

What is wrong with him?

“I’m not fine,” You admitted as your head fell in your hands. Harry grew concerned with scrunched eyebrows, throwing an arm around the back of the couch and waited for you to continue. When you didn’t, he asked.

“Well, d’you want to tell me what’s wrong or just sit ‘ere and complain? C’mon, Doll.”

You groaned, crossing your legs. The throbbing between them was so prominent, it was like a second heartbeat. Your hands balled into fists on your side, nails digging into your palms. Harry watched all your movements that you tried to withstrain.

“You can’t call me that anymore.”

“Woah, what?” Harry’s eyebrows jumped, extremely puzzled and surprised by your attitude. You’ve never had a problem with the name for the years he’s been saying it, so what changed?

“It’s—it’s killing me, H! Everything you’re doing is… just killing me and I don’t know why. I think I might explode. Is this what dying feels like?” You admitted, throwing your hands over your eyes again as a way to hide in embarrassment. Harry feels himself relax a bit, he even chuckles in the air you thought was thick with tension. When you hear his laugh, you look at him like he’s crazy. “This isn’t funny!”

“Oh but it is.” It was evident that Harry knew you weren’t actually upset with him. You were just innocently turned on so much that you were frustrated. And Harry so happened to be the only one to know your little secret. So why wouldn’t you come to him?

“No, you ruined me. Am I going to be… like this forever?”

“What, you mean horny? Probably.”

“Ugh, I hate you.”

“Then why are you here?” he smirks, patiently waiting for you to confess. You huffed under your breath while your eyes stared at your legs, thighs squeezing together at his cockiness. You were so annoyed at his control, but your body for some reason got off on it. You needed whatever he had because clearly only he could give it to you. “Look at me.”

You craned your neck up faster than you would have liked to admit, glaring at his darkening green eyes. A heat swirled not only in the pits of your stomach but in the air around you both, suffocating you with its tension. After gazing at your appearance for longer than necessary, his smirk deepens, which you didn’t even know was possible.

“I have a feeling…” he starts as his hand slowly creeps towards your neck from the back of the couch. “That you’re unsatisfied.”

“Yes,” You grumbled.

“Did you try to relieve your ache? Or did you just let it build up? Either way, you found yourself here.”

Your skin ran hot. Fiery hot. His hand brushed over your neck and he could definitely feel the scorching flames of your skin. Your heart was racing trying to keep up with your body’s excitement, making your eyes blown out and wide.

“I… tried to relieve it.”

“Did you do it the way I taught you?”

“…yes.”

“Did you feel satisfied?” You took a pause before responding, but Harry knew the answer.

“No,” You were honest, just like before. A part of you felt ashamed again, too. Maybe you didn’t do it right and you were just a lost cause. Instead of looking sad at your predicament like last time, Harry smirked. That fucking smirk. It meant he knew something you didn’t and that frustrated you more.

“So I was right. You just need a little help s’all,” his thick hand gently squeezed your neck, causing you to hum and close your eyes. He loved how responsive and sensitive you were, it lit a fire in him. “So how’d you do it, hm?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, walk me through it. What made you want to masturbate in the first place?”

Your eyes shot open and looked as far away from him as possible. Your body clearly stiffened and got anxious from the question. You felt your hips squirm in their tight position on the couch, begging to move. Your little button was throbbing, so much it was becoming painful.

“Don’t lie. I can’t help you then,” Harry was being taunting and condescending. A tingle sparked within you, urging you to be truthful. You hoped he would help you like before because like you said, it was getting painful and you were getting desperate.

“I-I kept thinking about last week.”

“What part?”

“Um, the whole thing,” You bit your lip, twiddling your fingers.

“Be specific.”

“Harry…” You practically whined, covering your face for the third time in embarrassment. “Can you just… make it go away please? It obviously didn’t work when I did it.”

“‘Course I will, just walk me through what happened first.”

“Fine,” You took a deep breath and put your head up. You positioned your body to face him, trying to speak with confidence. “I got distracted in class and was thinking about…you know…and then I went home. I was so stressed that I just decided to do it, but I couldn’t do it unless…”

“Unless what, Doll?”

That fucking name.

You don’t know if it was from his deep voice. Or from his demanding tone. Or his hand squeezing at the pulse point of your neck, but you whimpered. The smallest and most delicate sound that couldn’t have even been recognized by a high-definition microphone. But Harry heard it, and it made him go absolutely berserk.

“Unless I thought of you.”

“Fuck, Y/N. I’ve corrupted you, huh?” he squeezes your neck again reassuringly as you mewl in his grasp, a little less ashamed than before. “Well, you came all this way…”

“Please, Harry,” You delicately begged, trying not to sound as desperate as you were. Because, fuck, were you desperate. With every simple, warm caress of his hand on your neck you thought you were going to suffocate from holding your breath.

“Take off your shorts.” It was an easy command to follow. Harry’s assertive tone sent chills down your spine and a fiery tingle in the pit of your stomach. The same type of tingle you felt whenever you thought about the bathroom incident. But you were never able to dull the flame alone.

Maybe you weren’t supposed to.

Without another word, Harry’s hand snakes down to your waist joined by his other one as he lifts you up and onto his lap. Your lungs deflate, releasing a shaky breath full of your anticipation. Your legs were on either side of his, spreading you open just enough to feel yourself leak into your panties. Resting your hands on his shoulders, you wait for him to tell you what to do.

“Show me what y’got,” his reassuring hand slips from your waist and rests on the arm of the couch. Your expression falls in disappointment.

“What? I thought you were helping me!”

“This is helping you. I have to see what y’did wrong so I can help you fix it. There’s a method to my madness, love.”

“Yeah, yeah,” You rolled your eyes. He’s said that line growing up too many times to count. You used to tell him to shut up every time, but now you’re just immune to his cheekiness. The context was very different now, and that line may never be the same.

“Hey, don’t roll your eyes at me. Do y’want my help or not?”

“Okay, okay!” You assured, your cunt still throbbing against the cotton of your underwear. You swallowed once the playfulness died down, silence surrounding you both. The only thing left was for you to start, which you found extremely embarrassing. “So I just…”

“Do exactly what you did. Walk me through it.”

You took a deep breath before discarding your shirt. You tried not to think about how Harry was looking directly at your body now without the reflection of a mirror. He didn’t hide the way his gaze lingered on specific parts, almost as if he was memorizing each little detail. If you weren’t so hyper focused on remembering what you did and what he told you, you would find it somewhat endearing (and embarrassing).

With trembling hands, you threw off your shirt to tweak at your peaked nipples, just like you had done yesterday. They felt raw and sore between your fingertips. With each twist came a small aftershock of pain, but you only continued to roll the bud. You kind of liked how it hurt a little…

While one hand focused on your breasts, the other began to slide down between your legs. After passing your torso, your fingers slipped underneath the band of your underwear. The pads make contact with your aching clit, just like before, but it was different. When you did it alone, it felt stressful and rushed. But right now, it feels more electrifying and dizzying than before.

Maybe it was because Harry was here and that he was watching you like a hawk. His mere presence was alluring and intensified every touch. His eyes were trained on your every movement, analyzing and critiquing you with those thorn-like pupils. You wanted to know what he was thinking, but you were starting to get too caught up in your own pleasure to care.

“Oh, f-fuck,” You sighed and rocked your hips subconsciously over Harry’s thighs. He sharply inhales, but you don’t register the sound because you’re too busy making your own. You didn’t notice Harry’s growing bulge, merely a few inches away from your dripping cunt.

Your eyelids start to tighten, screwing shut as your thighs quiver. That familiar rush was approaching you fast, and just when you thought it couldn’t come any faster, Harry finally does something. He speaks.

“Almost there already? You are desperate, aren’t you, Doll?” Harry’s tone could pass as pitiful or even taunting as his hand creeps towards your pivoting waist. But the raspy deepness of it is what sends you over the edge. Your fingers squeeze your nipple while your fingers circle your pulsating clit. All of your movements stop as your body overloads, coming down from the much-needed orgasm. Your hand slaps onto his broad shoulder for support as you quietly chant his name with a squirm of your hips. “All the way. There y’go, angel.”

With some labored breathing, you finally peel your eyes open to a smirking Harry. Your skin flushed in sudden embarrassment, realizing your position. You immediately think to move off of him, especially after just coming in your panties, but his hand on your hip keeps a firm grip.

“We’re not done yet. You haven’t even heard my thoughts.”

“…What are your thoughts?” You were a little intimated, which is something you never thought you’d be by your best friend.

You had some thoughts and feelings of your own. Yes, this orgasm was better than the one you did alone. But it was nowhere near as satisfying as the one Harry did for you. Why was that? It internally frustrated you that Harry was so good at what he did, but a small—smidge little speck—of you was proud that your best friend was good in bed. Well, you don’t know about all aspects, but you could assume.

You should not be thinking about that!

And maybe another tiny part of you was glad to be one of the people experiencing his euphoria.

“I thought it was pretty good. Pretty good for your what? Third time? Well, second by yourself. Could use some work,” Harry tried to be as nonchalant as possible. His cock was raging in his shorts, just begging to be let out for some relief. He’s not going to lie and say he hasn’t thought about his best friend in a sexual way since their sexual intercounter because he totally has.

What he hasn’t done is jerk off to you. He refuses to stoop that low because in a way, that made him feel dirty, like he was using you somehow. When he came home from work the day after everything, he had to call up one of the numbers in his phone to help settle his little problem. Okay, yes, that might seem hypocritical, but he doesn’t care about jerking off to random people or using his friendly benefits to get off quickly. That’s exactly what they were for. You, on the other hand, were not for that purpose. You are his best friend who just needs a little… guidance in the sexual field. And luckily, Harry has a lot of experience that he is (for some reason) very willing to share.

You were just about to roll your eyes when Harry’s grip tightened even more as a warning. He just knew you too well.

“I want to try something. Willin’ to try something new?” You felt the pacing of your already quick heart accelerate. Your eyes were wide and full of wonder, innocence draped over you like a bedsheet.

“Yeah. That’s the point of this, right?” Your voice sounded a little hesitant, similar to the way Harry blinked. You swallowed your anxiousness down as Harry nodded.

His hands guide your hips over onto his lap. You instantly get flashbacks from last week, his warm hands stilling your hips and rubbing gentle circles on your burning skin. But this time, he adjusts you so you’re sitting on one of his thighs. Your panties were directly on his athletic shorts and it was comfortable, but you had an urge to be closer. You needed skin to skin contact.

Was that too much? Too far?

“Actually,” As if he could read your mind, “I’m going to pull these up, okay?”

With a nod, he tugs his shorts up, revealing his large tiger tattoo. You nearly forgot he had it. As your eyes fixate on the impressive ink, you find yourself becoming a little dizzy with lust. Not only was the tattoo cool but the placement almost had you fainting. You watched his thigh muscles contract when he shifted his hips, the tiger pulsing and looking like a great seat.

Harry was going to—no did—ruin you…

Next, he pulled you forward, nearly causing you to collapse on him. Now, your covered center is directly on his bare thigh, lightly pressing against his thickness.

“Y’real warm, Doll,” Harry observes, hands subconsciously slotting their way onto that soft spot of your hips. You felt as though they belonged there now. Your skin blushed, heat bubbling inside of you at his comment. You couldn’t help but feel shy with his eyes gazing at your every move. Legs wanting to close, you force yourself to keep them open around his waist. Just like he taught you.

“What do I do now?” You didn't really know what to do with your hands and it was evident. Harry saw this, however, and threw your lonesome hands over his shoulders. His action caused you to lean closer towards him, faces merely a few inches apart. You swallowed, but your throat was dry, and your heart was running a mile in record time. You could feel every breath fall onto your face because you were in such close proximity. You wanted to kiss him badly. It was strange because you’ve never felt such a pull towards him.

“I want you to use me.”

“What?” You blinked.

“Use me. Move your hips on m’thigh until it feels really good.”

“I…I don’t know how,” You admitted, fingers trembling within each other behind his neck. A soft, reassuring smile rests upon his lips, and before he even said anything, you already felt a little better.

“Just move first and I’ll help you as you go. Do you remember what to say if you want to stop?” he asked with gentleness as his hand curled on your hip, kneading it with care. You nodded, but that wasn’t enough. He pinned you with a knowing look.

“Stop is red, yellow is slow down, and green is good.”

“You remembered. Good girl,” The two simple words made you flutter inside and out. But they also motivated you to strive and really be a good girl for him.

You released your interlocked fingers from behind his neck and bared his shoulders. You took a deep, quivering breath before beginning to move over his thigh. It was an awkward motion; circling your panties along his naked thigh while he just took it. At first, it didn’t feel all too pleasurable. The idea of it all seemed great, but you just couldn’t get into it. A small part of you was saddened because Harry had seemed excited.

Had you let him down?

But just before you stopped to complain and whine about it, Harry’s grip on your hip tightened and pulled you forward. Your heart jumped at the action, feeling immense intensity in the proximity. With the slight lean forward, your clit was pressing directly on his thigh creating a perfect friction from your cotton panties.

“O-Oh,” You breathily moaned, finally feeling that strike of pleasure you’ve been waiting for. As your eyes begin to close, Harry never seems to remove his from you, analyzing every speck of your body like you’ll perish any second. His hand remains rigid and still on your hip, forcing you forward so your clit is constantly stimulated.

“Yeah? That feel better?” he asks in that familiar, deep husk that rumbles through your body.

“Yes, H,” Your head leaned on his shoulder, thighs beginning to burn with fatigue. It’s barely been a few minutes yet you were already feeling your leg muscles giving out.

“C’mon, Doll. Don’t give up now.”

“I’m trying,” You whined, picking your head up and pouting at him with a small pant. He stares at your puckered lip and dares to kiss it. Would it be crossing a boundary? All he wants to do is suck on all your words until you have none left and leave a few marks in the process. Is that so hard to want?

“Try harder.”

Harry thrusts his thigh up into you, causing you to gasp in bliss. It was an overwhelming and shocking feeling; a single, hefty dose of pressure right into your clit and cunt. Harry could feel your prominent heat burning through your underwear and searing through his skin. He wanted to rid you of your clothes and ravage you, but you weren’t there yet. He doesn’t know if you’ll ever get there with him, but recently, he’s been dying to get there. The thought has never even wandered his mind before, but now that it is, he can’t seem to get it out. It’s as if you’re trapped in his mind and sex is the only key.

That sounds a lot worse than he thought.

“Oh my God,” Your whimpers flow straight into his ears, playing mind games with him. His cock has been puffing up in his shorts, but he’s not even trying to hide it anymore. There’s no way you’re oblivious to the things you do to him—at least physically.

Harry continues to ram his thigh up, encouraging you to move around. When he feels your body seriously about to give up, he holds you still and forces you to stop.

“Color?”

“Green, but I’m tired.”

“Do y’want to stop?”

“No, Harry, please, just—I really need you to do something. Anything. I’m close,” Your desperate pleads are impossible to reject. With your doe eyes and pouty lip, he doesn’t even hesitate to make all your pain go away.

“Need it that bad?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, Doll. Just stay still,” You obey him with a grateful nod as his thigh begins to rock up into you again. It was so much more euphoric this way—having him move while you just feel. Maybe it was a little selfish, but wasn’t that one of the perks of him teaching you? You just got to feel and learn your body.

You hadn’t thought about that part a lot. This entire ordeal was you learning more about yourself. For years you have deprived yourself and avoided all sexual activity for no other reason than fear. Fear of judgment, fear of awkwardness, fear of trust, fear of vulnerability—sex was a huge thing for you. Now, you’re doing things you never could have imagined yourself doing, and you’re doing them with the last person you’d expect; your best friend. But in the strangest and most bizarre way, you couldn’t see your firsts being held by anyone other than Harry. Would you tell him that? Probably not. That might be taken a different way than you mean, and then drama would ensue and that’s not at all what you want.

But what did you mean by it?

“Are y’close? I can feel you clenching on me,” his voice rasps near your ear, sending a shudder throughout your body. You hum a high-pitched sound, seemingly pleasing him. “‘About to come in y’panties? Never thought you’d do that, huh?”

“Mhm,” You hummed again, this time biting your lip as your stomach churned in pleasure. “Touch me, God, please.”

“Are you saying I’m God? ‘Cause that is a great compliment—”

“You’re such an—” he places his lips on your neck, suckling on the spongy part under your ear. You shiver, shutting up immediately. Every word and thought has left you completely, fizzling into the nonexistent. You don’t know if he put his lips on your neck like this last time, but it made you putty on top of him. “Why does that f-feel so good? Please, Harry, I’m right there.”

“‘Cause I’m doing it. Little baby just needed help s’all. That’s right, huh? Say it. Say you needed my help, baby.” Why his words make you feel the way you feel will forever be an unsolved phenomenon to you. There’s a juxtaposition between pain and pleasure and degradation and praise. When he puts you down, he makes sure to pick you right up again, and it might seem toxic, but it was just Harry, and you knew deep down it was all an act. And you liked that.

“I-I needed you, Harry,” A whine fell from your lips, tearing through your throat.

You liked that none of it was deeply serious and you could be what you wanted without the fear of judgment, fear of awkwardness, fear of trust, fear of vulnerability—everything you needed for comfort was there. It was here with Harry. It might all be some type of act, but it felt real. Realer than any other relationship you’ve had.

“C’mon me, Doll.”

You felt his warm hand travel from one hip to your torso. Just the mere feeling of his presence getting lower towards your center sent you over the edge. It was quite embarrassing how his simple touch was all you needed to be folded and whipped, but you couldn’t help it. You were so sensitive as a beginner and, on top of it all, so needy and greedy for it. Harry adored that though.

Your orgasm soaked through your cotton panties, while some of the residue landed on Harry’s thigh. An ever-growing smirk was plastered on his face as your heated face finally reentered reality. You quietly gasped when your awareness finally slipped through the orgasmic fog, realizing the mess you made.

“Look at tha’, Doll. Was that better for you? More satisfying?”

“Yes. Thank you, Harry,” You answered wearily, suddenly being slapped with post-orgasm fatigue. The lingering burn in your muscles told you that you were going to be sore tomorrow, but you were too blissed-out to care.

“Don’t be so formal. S’weird,” You rolled your eyes at him. Again, he’s great at ruining a sweet moment. Sexual Harry versus friend Harry were two different people, but you appreciated both. It was just the sharp switches he makes between transitions that makes your head spin with confusion. Harry, your friend, was loud and cocky with a mixture of kindness. Harry, your sexual teacher, was demanding and precise with a mixture of softness. Both comforted you in a way that you hoped you would find in a partner one day; he was the perfect example.

Recognizing him this way really put things in perspective for you–Harry really was teaching what you wanted. And like he said before, maybe you didn’t need to worry about a husband right now. You should be focusing on what you want and that might take some experimenting. Training with Harry was preparing you for that experiment phase. That’s exactly it.

When you take a breath, you’re reminded of how compressed you are to him. You’re comfortable and cozy when you’re this close, and it just felt right. You don’t remember if you’ve always felt like this, but it would make sense if you have. He’s your best friend, of course.

But of course, the moment ends way too soon, and Harry is lifting you off of his lap. He places you beside him on the couch before standing up.

“I’ll go start you a bath and get you some clothes,” Harry leaves for the bathroom, the opposite of last time. Based on the last two times, to you it seems like he leaves too quickly. You never get to fully absorb the aftermath and internalize its meaning. But maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe Harry knows that if he allowed you the time, you would overthink until you self-destructed and eventually never speak to him again.

You don’t think you could ever do that.

So, like anything you’ve ever done, you’re left alone to analyze the situation. You were aided when you were desperate and Harry was able to mend that ache. But what did that do for him? What was Harry getting out of this arrangement? Was it even an arrangement or just best friends who occasionally do sexual things? Was he doing all of this for you just because he wanted to show you the ropes?

You’re still well-aware of your lack of reciprocation. Out of the two times he’s helped you out, you haven’t been returning the favor. There is this unspoken understanding that everything is about you and that Harry wouldn’t involve himself because what would that teach you? Without him saying anything, you know that Harry doesn’t want you to think that he’s using you for his own pleasure. But at this point in your friendship, you know he wouldn’t do such a thing. Besides, if he needed to have sex that critically, he could just call someone, right? It’s easy to “get some” when you’ve already had it.

Your point being, why haven’t you offered to return the favor? If you did, maybe Harry could give you some pointers and tell you what to do, just like all of the other times. Not only would you know what feels right and pleasurable, but you’d know how to make your partner feel just as positive. Plus, he would be getting pleasure out of it, too. That sounds like a win-win in your book, and probably in Harry’s. But would that be crossing the unspoken boundaries of your friendship? You’ve already traversed through enough together, but how far was too far? Was he basing the limits off of you?

If so, he won’t mind one more session, right?

—

thank you all so much for being patient with me 🩷 i hope this suffices you! part 3

taglist: @pishhhh20989 @harrysslut7 @kathb59 @chronicallybubbly @clarap23 @mrsstylesss @bisexual-desi @littlenatilda @crybabyddl @tiaamberxx @alwaysclassyeagle

crossed out= not able to tag

[bellaxgiornata]

You're My Safe Place

Pairing: Frank Castle x fem!Reader Word Count: 2.3k [Tuna-Tober Masterlist]

Tuna-Tober Prompt: “Shh, I’ve got you now. I’m here.”

Warnings/tags: angst, emotional hurt/comfort, panic attack, mentions of Reader being teased for weight (and a couple other things), soft Frank

Summary: Frank and you are getting ready to attend your family's Thanksgiving dinner later, but the stress of the holiday season and the distress of seeing your horrible aunt has you nosediving right into a panic attack.

a/n: I've always wanted to write Frank comforting Reader over a panic attack so I slipped one in for this event. This is for anyone with a family member (or members) that are awful to be around now that the holidays are coming up. Feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

With both hands grasping the kitchen counter in a near death grip, you leaned over the countertop as you tried to stay focused on the coffee machine in front of you. You were tired, having woken up early to a string of anxious thoughts about the Thanksgiving dinner tonight with your extended family that Frank and you would be attending. But as the coffee began to brew with a soft whir, your mind continued spiraling like it had been doing since five this morning. Ever since you’d woken up in bed next to Frank, staring at his bare shoulder poking out from beneath the bed sheets, you hadn’t been able to stop the dread and anxiety about what horrible comments your aunt would subject you to at this holiday gathering. Especially with all of the stress you’d already been under with the holiday season now in full swing.

Breath coming in sharper, your hands gripped the countertop even tighter. Farther down the hall you could hear Frank moving around in the bedroom getting ready for the day, and as much as you tried to ground yourself in the familiarity of that, you felt yourself steadily slipping as your mind replayed all of the awful things your aunt had said to you in the past–about your age and lack of a husband, the fact that you were still childless, that your profession was a joke, and even making jabs about your weight. Your vision began to blur as her irritating voice rang clear in your mind, your heart pounding so heavily that you felt the resounding vibration in your throat. Your rib cage felt as if it had clamped itself around your lungs and heart like a vice, constricting them both tighter and tighter while you fought to take a single full breath.

A panic attack. You were on the verge of another panic attack. Teetering just right at the edge, waiting to topple straight into it.

But no–no, you couldn’t. Not here. Not with Frank just in the other room. He had never seen you like this before and you never wanted him to see you like this. He had enough to worry about already and you refused to be another reason for the crease between his brows. He didn’t need to know how much something so ridiculous affected you. But at the same time, you knew tonight was the first family gathering of yours he’d be attending. Which meant it would be the first time he’d meet your aunt. The first time he’d be hearing the things she’d say about you.

Desperately you began sharply inhaling air through your gritted teeth, your eyes snapping tightly shut as you tried to get control of yourself. You just needed to focus, to breathe, to think about literally anything else besides the dinner and your aunt. But the harder you tried to fight it, the more her insults kept slipping through the quickly crumbling cracks in your mind. 

You were falling into it now, too far gone. The memories of past family gatherings were surfacing now; her repeated passive aggressive comments at the dinner table about your plate of food, the Christmas gifts that were meant ‘to help you attract a man’ or ‘lose a few of those unnecessary pounds,’ the constant comparisons to her golden child of a daughter, the rude questions about your salary. Your body was curling in on itself as you kept struggling to fight off the sensation that was dragging you under. You were gasping for breath, hyperventilating and too deep in to pull yourself back out. With shaking, sweat-dampened hands, you tried to readjust your hold on the countertop as if it was some lifeline that would keep you grounded in the present. But with your eyes closed, your hand missed the countertop and accidentally bumped into one of the coffee mugs sitting on it instead. You’d opened your eyes just in time to see the white ceramic mug fall to the floor and shatter, the noise louder than that of your own ragged, sharp breaths.

That’s when you lost it.

Dropping to the floor in a heap, tears streamed down your cheeks as you pulled your legs up to your body, as if they’d somehow help to keep your heart from beating straight through your chest. Your nails dug into your calves, partially in an attempt to keep your legs firmly pressed to yourself, but partly because the sting of them biting into your skin helped to counteract the growing panic inside of you.

And that’s when you’d heard Frank’s thudding, hurried footsteps as he came rushing out of the bedroom and straight into the kitchen. With vision tinged in white at the edges, you struggled to look up at Frank when he paused at the entrance of the room. You could only imagine how you looked to him right now, huddled in a ball beside the shattered coffee mug, tears pouring down your cheeks as you continued to suck in shallow, gasping breaths. 

He didn’t stand there long. In four quick strides he was on the floor beside you, a stern and almost unreadable expression on his face. But even in the midst of your panic attack, you could still see the fear and worry hidden behind his dark eyes. He was terrified and confused.

“Talk to me, sweetheart,” he ordered.

His hands hovered in the air between you both, as if he wanted to offer you comfort but he wasn’t certain if he should touch you. Your tongue darted out of your dry mouth to wet your lips as you attempted to concentrate, but the lack of proper oxygen to your brain with the way you’d been breathing was causing everything to become a haze. And with the way your breaths kept coming in sharp and shallow, there was no way you could get a word out.

“Are you hurt?” he asked. “Somethin’ happen? Tell me what’s goin’ on.”

You shook your head in answer to his questions, your entire body trembling against the kitchen cabinets behind you. There was no way you could form words right now, not with the way it felt like your throat was closing up.

Almost as if a light went off in Frank’s head a second later, realization dawned on him and his entire demeanor shifted. Immediately the urgency left his voice, his tone becoming something soft and soothing as his hands finally and gently landed on your shoulders. Though the concern was still apparent in his eyes, not something he could just push away.

“Relax, honey,” he said. “You’re alright. ‘S'just a panic attack.”

You nodded, breath still coming in sharp, short gasps. This wasn’t the first one you’d had, but that didn’t alleviate the fear and embarrassment that managed to surface within you at the moment. You didn’t want Frank to see you like this.

“Need you to take some deep breaths, sweetheart,” he told you. “In and out. Can you do that for me?”

Nodding again, you felt a few more hot tears streak their way down your cheeks. As Frank’s thumbs drew comforting little circles along your shoulders, his face hovering just a foot in front of yours, you tried to inhale a deep, shaky breath.

“That’s it, honey,” he praised. “Nice and slow. Don’t fight it, just breathe through it.”

Nails digging tight into your calves, you tried to focus on Frank’s face and his soothing words. Inhaling another ragged breath in, you tried to take a full breath while fighting the protesting burning in your lungs. Frank’s eyes remained fixed on you as you inhaled the breath, but his hands released your shoulders, both of them coming down to gently pull your fingers away from where they were digging into your calves. 

“Keep going, sweetheart,” he encouraged. “Doin’ good.”

As you inhaled a few more sharp breaths, your tears gradually began to slow even if the trembling of your body did not lessen. The rough pads of Frank’s thumbs began soothingly stroking the back of your hands, the sensation helping to steadily draw you back to the present and out of your head.

“I’m–I’m sorry,” you gasped out.

“Shh, I’ve got you now. I’m here,” Frank murmured, pulling you in towards himself. “Don’t apologize.”

Clinging to him, your hands desperately grabbed at the back of his soft sweater as you buried your face into his shoulder. Your breathing was still shallow and uneven, your heart beating a little erratically in your chest, but you felt yourself little by little coming back out of the panic attack as you continued to follow Frank’s calm instructions to breathe in and out.

It was a few minutes before you finally felt yourself really calm down. You kept your face buried in Frank’s shoulder, embarrassment coursing through you. You couldn’t believe he’d just witnessed you have a panic attack, let alone over something so stupid.

“You good?” he eventually asked after a moment.

Nodding your head against his shoulder, your fingers eased their grip on his sweater, though you didn’t release your hold of him. “Yeah,” you quietly answered.

“What was that 'bout?” he asked.

You stiffened in his arms, afraid to tell him the truth. Tonight was the first family gathering of yours he’d agreed to attend, which meant he was bound to witness some of these comments firsthand. Even if you didn’t tell him about it now, you knew he’d eventually see it happening later.

“C’mon sweetheart,” Frank gently prompted. “Can’t help if you don’t talk to me.”

“It’s…it’s stupid,” you muttered into his shoulder.

“Not stupid if it’s got you this upset,” he disagreed. “Talk to me.”

Sighing, you turned and rested your cheek along his shoulder, keeping your eyes averted as embarrassment continued to flush your face. “It’s just…this Thanksgiving dinner tonight. I have this–this aunt that I cannot stand. She’s always stuck her nose into my personal business–and I mean real personal sometimes. And she makes these–” you paused, wincing, “–these horribly rude comments to me. Usually when it’s just her cornering me somewhere, but sometimes over the holiday dinners in front of everyone. And I–I just don’t want to see her.”

“Then don’t go,” he said. “We don’t have to.”

“I can’t just not go, Frank,” you replied. “I’d never see my family for holidays again if I simply just stopped going to family gatherings. And generally I enjoy seeing everybody else, it’s just–just her. And I’m…”

Your voice trailed off, your eyes focused on the shattered coffee mug still on the floor just behind Frank. Besides hearing the things she might throw at you this time, the other thing that had been bothering you recently was the fact that this time she would be making these comments in front of Frank. He’d be there to hear every jab she made about you, every comment about what a failure she thought you were or what she deemed wrong with your appearance. Right in front of him.

“You’re what?” he asked.

Swallowing hard, your eyes slowly closed before you answered him in a small voice. “I’m not looking forward to you hearing it.”

Frank’s large hands were immediately pulling your face away from his shoulder before turning it to look at him. You were met with a firm, fearsome expression, one that would’ve sent a shudder down your spine if you hadn’t known how soft he truly was beneath that gruff and intimidating exterior. 

“She won’t say a goddamn thing with me there, sweetheart,” Frank told you, voice a low warning. “Promise you that.”

You smiled softly back up at him. “Frank, you can’t start a physical altercation at Thanksgiving dinner,” you pointed out.

“No,” he agreed. “But I don’t have to do that to get her to keep her mouth shut.”

An amused snort slipped out of you at his words, your mind racing through a myriad of possible situations of how Frank would keep your aunt from verbally attacking you this evening. Each scenario was just as satisfying as the next.

“Honestly, I don’t doubt that,” you replied before sighing. “And I know this…just seems like a dumb thing to get so worked up over but…her comments really get to me. Just every time I see her, she’s always twisting the knife. And then her words stick with me. Always have ever since I was little.”

Frank held you a bit tighter in his arms as he shook his head firmly. “Not alright with anyone talkin��� to you like that. Making you feel this upset,” he told you. “She’s already on my shit list and I haven’t met her.”

You couldn’t fight back the little laugh that bubbled out of you at the idea of Frank Castle putting your aunt on his ‘shit list.’ A tiny grin slipped onto his lips at the sound, a mischievous glint appearing in his dark eyes.

“I have a feeling you and her will not get along this evening,” you said.

“I’ve got that same feeling, sweetheart,” Frank replied, his grin growing. “But whatever happens, you know I’ll be right there.”

Smiling softly up at him, you nodded. “Yeah, yeah I know you will be.”

Frank pulled you back to his chest, his hands once more soothingly running along your back. When he spoke again, his voice a deep rumble, you felt a bit of the anxiety in your mind easing just a bit.

“Not gonna be alone tonight,” he murmured. “Be right there with you.”

Frank Castle One Shot Tag List: @heimtathurs @linamarr @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @shiorimakibawrites @xxdrixx @leikelle @pinkratts @1988-fiend @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @stilldreaming666 @will-delete-this-later-probably @yarrystyleeza @pone21 @millennial-birkin @harleycao @kezibear @justanerd1 @sadest-bookshelf @loves0phelia

[satxnsupreme666]

Stronger than you think: Agatha Harkness/Agnes x fem!reader

Masterlist

Requested by: @purple-people15

Summary: Everyone is now free from Wanda´s mind control as well as you and now that you´re not Agnes´ secret lover, Agatha asks you out on a real date because she´s smitten by you, but in the middle of the date your ex shows up to bother you and Agatha shows her protective side.

Word count: 4k

Warnings: Reader has ptsd from a previous toxic relationship, mention of a panic attack, slight angst, apart from that is pure romance and, in the end, there´s a lot of fluff.

Author´s notes: Hi again!  (also I wrote the panic attack part as how I’ve had them, I don’t want to offend anyone, and as this is a serious thing I hope everyone who suffers from ptsd is doing better I suffer from this, I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist too and I completely understand, and if this is a topic that may trigger you, don’t read it please, your mental health is the most important thing first 🥺💕)

This was a requested story, I do not know if I should tag the people who requested at the time, I want to be respectful, so I am not sure if I should tag them, I will try and do it since it was their request and their idea and if any of the people who requested back at the time now feel uncomfortable being tagged, please let me know and I will delete the tag.

This was one of the first stories I wrote three years ago, I had posted them on Tumblr on my old account, but due to my mental health, I had to take a break from Tumblr and the toxicity and hate that had suddenly increased, I deleted all of my stories and my old account, now I have decided to upload them again here on Tumblr and also on Ao3.

I hope you like it!

If you enjoy, could you comment, like or reblog? it would help a lot really ♥️

Taglist: @midnight-lestrange @eliscannotdance

Eastview was now free; you weren’t under Wanda´s mind control anymore but it felt weird to be able to feel everything again. You were not sure how to feel.

Everything happened so fast, two days ago you were walking to Dottie´s house, they were having a meeting again and this time was about organizing a party for the children In the park, you were walking down the street with a bottle of wine in your hands that Dottie had asked you to bring, it was a sunny day but after some minutes you saw the sky changing to red and you felt drawn to the color, you couldn’t stop looking at the sky, you didn’t know why and after what felt like hours something strange happened.

You felt like your mind was released from a slight pressure and blinking a few times, all the memories of your real life came in a rush, you remember your life here in Eastview, and you couldn’t help but feel anxious, this was not right, everything real came crashing you down, there was no more sunny days and the same old awful feeling you used to have, came back to you, this was not right. 

After that you saw how everyone started to freak out, you felt stressed and anxious, it was horrible, you wanted to hide, you started to breath rapidly and you were afraid, this was wrong.

Deciding that it would be best if you went to your own house to hide under the covers you walked in a rush to it, you would be safe in your room.

The only thing that calmed you down was thinking of Agnes, maybe it hadn’t been real what you had, but it had been beautiful.

You had all your memories from the sitcom with you, they hadn’t gone away, they were still on your mind, but you were not sure why everybody here seemed to be so angry, for you it was different, while you were under Wanda´s mind control you had forgotten every bad memory from your real life that caused you pain, everything bad that had happened to you felt like a distant memory, you weren’t suffering, on the contrary the memories from the sitcom were really happy, getting to know Agnes, had been the best part of it, the role Wanda had given to you was of Agnes´ secret date, and it had been amazing.

You really liked her, the way everything had developed between you two made you feel happy, but at the same time you felt devastated, you would have preferred to still be under the magic, it was easy, you didn’t feel any pressure, you didn’t feel anxious, everything you felt was happiness, and now you were back to feeling stressed out and agitated, you were afraid of going outside, you were really afraid you could meet the person who made your life miserable, it took you years to left her, and the worst part was that she was here In town. But what made you shivered was the fact that you had talked to her while you were trapped under Wanda´s mind control, you encountered many times while you were walking or speaking with Agnes, but as you were not aware of what was going on, at the time it didn’t bother you, but now thinking about that made you shiver in fear, you were grateful you weren’t aware when that happened, that could have been awful for you and for your mental health, little by little you tried to be better without her, you tried to compose yourself from all the pain she had inflicted on you.

The time you spent with Agnes had been amazing, but now that you thought twice about it you couldn’t help but feel heartbroken, everything had been fake, nothing was real and Wanda had just made you fulfil a role, the role of the secret love affair of Agnes.

You were alone again, and your fears took over you, what if what your ex told you was real? What if you never find some for you? Would you be alone just as she had told you? All of these questions wouldn’t leave your mind and you just kept overthinking, you tried to think of something else, but each time your mind went to Agnes and how all of what you had was just a role you had to play, now you had to deal with the harsh reality, your former girlfriend was somewhere here in Eastview and you were afraid.

It was hard not to overthink everything, you had been doing alright before Wanda came to Westview, you had packed your things to leave the town but before you could leave something took over you, and after that there was no more sadness, It had been good the entire time you shared with Agnes, but now seeing the reality and how it had ended, you just felt worse than before.

A loud knock on your door distracted you from your thoughts, who could be? You wished it would be you ex, you were not going to be able to stand the sight of her on your door, different scenarios passed through your head, what if she came here to yell at you? Another loud knock on your door made you stand slowly from your bed; you weren’t sure if you should open the door or not.

Walking slowly out of your room you made your way towards the door and with your hands shaking you carefully took the doorknob.

“Who is it?” Your voice sounded weak and fearful

“Y/n?” You released the breath you didn’t know you were holding and took a deep breath, the voice calmed you down a little, you were so used to her cheerful tone but today Agnes sounded different.

You carefully opened the door and you saw her concerned face; you could tell she was worried.

“Hey doll, may I come in?” You smiled at the endearment, you loved the way she called you, her voice didn’t have the same cheerful tone but it was beautiful nonetheless, you found her voice so soothing.

“Yes, come in” You whispered and let her enter your house, you were going to close the door but she did it first and she smiled at you, you gave her a half smile and you walked towards the couch to take a sit.

“Listen doll, I´m here, because I need to talk with you, it´s about who I really am and also” She had taken a sit next to you and she took your hand, she had a soft but firm grip on your hand, you saw how she stopped talking and while she looked at the ceiling she took a deep breath.

“Also I want to talk with you about us” Your mood quickly got worse, you were sure she was going to end things, you knew what you had wasn’t real, but still it was really painful this, you didn’t want to have this talk, not yet, you were not sure if you were going to handle this.

You quickly dropped her hand and you stood up from the couch, you walked a little away from her and you rubbed your hands against your tights a little nervous, you didn’t want to hear what she could say.

You struggled to breathe a little, this was awful, were you having a panic attack?

“Doll, I will walk closer towards you, is that alright?” You heard her concerned voice and you slowly nodded

You felt her near you and she softly placed her hand on your shoulder, this made you feel a little better.

“Take deep breaths sweetheart” She said to you in a soft voice, you looked at her in the eyes and she started to take breaths, you followed her and little by little your breathing started to become normal.

“Concentrate on your breathing honey, deep breaths” Her voice soothed you.

“That´s It darling, you can get through this” Her sweet words made you feel better and you started to calm down, you could feel more her soft touch on you and with a deep final breath you gave her a small smile.

“What do you need me to do sweetheart?” Her voice was calming you realized you needed some water; you cleared your throat a little before speaking.

“Could you give me a glass of water, please?” You asked shyly and she gave you a smile, she squeezed your shoulder softly before going to the kitchen and when she came back with a glass of water, you took it to drink of it and she softly stroked your hair.

“Thank you, I´m feeling a little bit better” You felt a lot calmer now

“Alright, listen I´m sorry about that-”

“No, no it´s alright, you don´t need to be sorry sweetheart, It´s alright seriously” She grabbed your face with her hands and she caressed your cheek with her thumb, you stroked the back of your hand with your fingers and she smiled.

“Darling I just came here to ask you on a real date” When you heard what she had said you opened your mouth; she was asking you on a real date! You couldn’t believe it.

“So, you like me back?” You blurted out

“Of course doll, listen, I was aware all this time, I wasn’t under Wanda´s mind control, and I would like to get to know the real you and I would love that you get to know the real me, and about that, my real name is Agatha Harkness sweetheart” Suddenly all of your fears weren’t there anymore, you felt happy for this and you couldn’t help yourself from hugging her.

It was a hug like the many one she had given you so many times, but this time you were completely aware and you loved it, this time you would enjoy everything in a different and better way.

You stayed like that for some minutes, her hands around your waist and your arms around her shoulders with your head resting in the crook of her neck, until you removed yourself a little from her.

“You´re so beautiful y/n” You heart melted, she was just so sweet as always, she made you felt happy and also, she pushed your worries away, you were happy that she was taking this chance to get to know who you truly were.

“I can´t wait to tell you everything darling” You could tell Agatha was excited just as you were feeling right now, you wanted to know how she was able to be aware all the time, and how she had arrived here.

“Would you like to go now? I´m really excited for this Agatha” Agatha saw the big grin on your face and she smiled

“Of course, darling we can leave now if that´s what you want” You were happy, you really were

“Give me a minute so I can put on different shoes” With that you left the living room and went straight to change your shoes.

Agatha sat again in the couch and you didn’t see the big grin she had on her face.

“I´m ready” You said to her and when you returned to the living room, Agatha was watching the little potted succulent you had on the table in the middle of the room, you blushed a little because it had been the one, she had given you days ago

“I really like that one” You tried to hide your face a little

“I know darling, that´s why I gave it you” Now that you thought about it, even under Wanda’s mind control, the role you had played wasn’t so much different from the real you, you still liked the same things and the only thing that changed was your mood and your behavior, while you were trapped in the sitcom you acted a little less shy and you were happier, again you started to overthink everything, why if Agatha didn’t like the real you?

“Are you alright doll?” You blinked a little when you heard Agatha´s voice

“Yes, I´m sorry, I just got lost in my thought for a moment, but it´s alright, we should get going” This time you didn’t need to fake a smile, because the simply thought of going out with her made you feel alright.

“Alright darling, but if you need anything, you can tell me” You trusted in her, there was something that you knew you could trust in her, so maybe when the time came you would be able to tell her everything.

“I know” You said in a whisper and smiled to her; you really were sure you could tell her everything but that would be later

“So, do we leave now?” You nodded at her question and she stretched her hand out for you to take it, you gladly accepted her hand and Agatha intertwined your fingers with hers.

Both of you started to walk hand in hand and just as many other times Agatha had done it, she opened the door for you to get out first, she was so charming and you loved it.

“Where are we going?” You asked her while you were walking down the street

“Remember the coffee shop where we first met?” Of course you remembered it,  you had bumped into her by accident, spilling your coffee all over her blouse, she was grateful it had been a cold coffee, she had laughed so hard that day, you tried to clean the stain with some napkins but in the end you couldn’t do anything, she had told you that you didn’t have to worry and that it was alright, that she hated that sweater anyway.

“Oh yes, I still feel a little awkward about that” You blushed a little, she always loved how you blushed.

“Sweetheart you´re so sweet, and it´s alright, I have already forgotten about that incident, I liked that we kept coming here to meet, also the place is really nice, it is warm and cozy, don´t you think the same doll?” She was right, the place was really pretty and you enjoyed going there with her, also this felt better you were completely aware so that made everything better.

“You´re right the place is awesome” Agatha grinned at you and she squeezed your hand a little, you were going to have a great time in your real first date.

Now that you looked at your surroundings you noticed how things had changed, the sun wasn’t too bright and the town looked a little bit more vivid than before Wanda had arrived, the people here were still a little shaken from what had happened but they started to just brushed everything off, they thought of this like a second chance.

“We´re here doll” You raised your head to look at her and gave her a wide smile

“I´m really excited” Agatha held the door open for you and you entered the coffee shop followed by her

“I´m really excited too darling” The two of you walked towards the same table near the window and you loved it, it was amazing, now you were going to have a date, a real date with her.

Sitting in front of you, Agatha took your hand and she gave it a slight squeeze to it, a warm feeling started to grow inside you and you couldn’t be happier.

One of the waitresses came to ask for your orders and you ask for your favorite drink and your favorite snack, you were sure Agatha would order a Cappuccino, you still remember that, it was her favorite coffee.

The woman went to prepare your orders and you started to blush when you noticed Agatha had staring at you.

“So, doll, I think I owe you mane explanations and I would like to start to tell you the truth, all of it” You excitedly nodded.

“I´m a witch, and that´s why I came here in the first place” Your eyes grew wide, she was a witch? Like Wanda? You were surprised

“But I´m not going to hurt you” She rushed to say when she saw the expression on your face, she had thought about whether it was a good idea telling you her true identity or not, because she knew you could freak out, you saw the worry on her face and you grabbed her hand.

“It´s alright, I’m not scared of you, you do not have to worry” You saw the quick change of her mood, you saw how her shoulders became less tensed, she took a deep breath before speaking again

“I´ve been living for centuries” Really? You thought, well she didn’t look like she was some centuries old

“How do you look so young?” This made Agata laughed a little and her eyes lit up.

“Oh, darling stop” She said between giggles and this made you smile too

“I´m being serious” Agatha kept caressing the back of your hand with her thumb

“Sweetheart I have to go to the bathroom, but it will be quickly, alright? I´m coming back in some minutes doll” You nodded and Agatha took your hand to her face kissing the back of your hand in the process, her action made you bit your lip, you were not expecting that, you saw how she stood up from the chair and you just started to look through the window.

After some minutes someone sat in front of you and as you thought it was Agatha you lifted turned your head to look at her with a smile.

But your smiled was vanished at who you were looking at.

You couldn’t believe it, what was she doing here? Why was your ex sitting in front of you? This couldn’t be happening, not now, why now? You were completely fine minutes ago with Agatha and now you started to feel as if your world started to crumble, she was looking at you with a quirky expression on her face, you couldn’t keep looking at her eyes, so you quickly lowered your gaze to look at the table, you wished Agatha would come as fast as she could.

“What are you doing here with her?” She asked you with a harsh tone.

“Why do you care?” You whispered; you were not sure where your courage had gone.

“What did you say? I´ve always hated the way you speak, so low that nobody can hear you, you’re so weak, why do you think she´s here with you? That woman looks like she is so much more experienced than you, do you really think she will stand someone like you? You can´t even stand up for yours-“You had closed your eyes, just hearing her made you feel awful and tears started to roll down your eyes, why wouldn’t she left you be happy just for once? But when she stopped talking and you heard some gaging noises you quickly opened your eyes and you saw that your ex had some purple strings around her neck, and next to her was Agatha with a furious look on her eyes, her eyes were glowing purple just as well as her hands.

“You won´t ever come near y/n again, do you hear me?” Agatha was furious and you were shock, she was defending you, no one had ever done that for you.

“You have inflicted a lot of pain in her, she deserves better, she´s an amazing girl, and you didn’t know how to treat her better, you´re pathetic and I swear to you, if I ever see you coming to her or even just looking at her, I will make sure you won´t see the light of the sun again, got it?” Agatha had vanished the string around her neck and now she was just using her magic to grab your ex by her jacket.

You saw the fear on your ex´s eyes and she just nodded, Agatha used her magic to push her away from the chair and she fell flat on the floor, she quickly stood up from the floor and left the coffee shop in a rush, no daring to look back at you.

Agatha quickly sat next to you and she softly held your face in her hands, her touch was sweet and gentle and you loved it.

“Are you alright love?” Her tone was caring and you saw her concerned expression

“I´m fine, thank you so much for that, nobody had ever defended me like you did” Agatha wiped your tears away from your cheeks with her fingers and you leant into her touch

“Oh doll, I will make sure that nobody ever talks you in a bad way, I won´t let anyone seeing you in a wrong way, not even a single glance towards you, you´re so strong, and I won´t let anyone tell you otherwise, because you are so strong sweetheart, you´re stronger than anyone else thinks” Her words made you feel better, you felt that with her by your side you could do anything

You hugged her, and she hold you tightly, you trusted in her with your whole life and you were sure she wouldn’t hurt you; she was exactly what you had wished for so many times.

“She hurt me, she made feel awful, she said awful things to me, she said I was worthless” You whispered into her ear, and Agatha felt herself getting tense again, how could someone dare to hurt you? You were so sweet, you were an amazing girl and Agatha promised herself that she would do everything she could do to protect you, no matter what, she softly stroked your hair smelling your perfume, she loved everything about you, all the time you shared with her as her secret lover, she had got attached to you and she wouldn’t leave you, you were so precious and you deserved the best, she will make sure that you got to know that from now on.

“It´s alright love, she won´t come back for you ever again, no one will ever treat you bad, I swear to you, you deserve the best, let me love you like no one has ever done it” You separated yourself from her to look at her straight into her eyes, she made you feel so loved, you really liked her and even though you were Agnes´ lover, it was obvious that she hadn’t acted at all, she treated you with the same loving and gentle way she did, of course you had fallen in love with her.

You couldn’t help yourself, you didn’t want to wait anymore, she was so beautiful and you felt as if her lips were calling you to kiss them, so you did what you felt right.

Kissing her now being fully aware was the best sensation you have ever felt, this was amazing, her lips were so soft, she kissed you in a gentle way that you felt in heaven, her hand stroked your cheek.

The sound of someone clearing their throat made you come back to reality again and you started to furiously blush, you broke the kiss to separate yourself a little from Agatha and instantly your hand came to your face to touch your lips; Agatha found this adorable.

“Hope you enjoy your drinks” Said the waitress with a smile and then she went back from where she had come.

“So, what if we finish this and then we can keep talking about us?” You asked Agatha with a shy smile at which Agatha responded giving you a soft peck on your lips while she softly lifted your chin.

“Alright doll, we have plenty of time for us” And she was right, you knew she was not going anywhere, you were so lucky to have found her, or had she found you? Either way, you were happy to be here with her, you were going to start something good with her and you knew your heart was safe here with her.

[crljhnn]

The older Jefferson

Pairing: Rodrick Heffley x fem!Reader

Summary: After Rowley announces that his older (half-)sister, who lives quite far away and has never met the Heffleys, is going to visit him over the break Susan invites his family over for dinner. Her not being what Rodrick expects, he starts crushing, which results in him trying to impress her - failing horribly.

No physical description; No use of y/n

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: None

A/N: Hi, just a quick warning that English isn’t my first language and that this is also the first time I’ve ever written a longer text in English that isn’t a school assignment. I also don’t fully understand Tumblr yet, which makes me honestly a bit anxious to post.

[This and a gender-neutral version are also posted on AO3]

“Why haven't you ever mentioned that you have an older Sister?” Rowley and Greg were sitting on the Heffleys living room floor - Rodrick occupying the whole space on the couch - playing a video game. Well, Greg was. It was a single-player. He promised they would take turns, but by now Rowley had been over for about two and a half hours and hadn’t even had the chance to touch the controller yet. He gave up on asking and settled on just watching about 45 minutes in.

“I talked about her before. Multiple times actually.” That is true. Rowley looks up to his sister a lot “Also, she is technically my Half-Sister. She’s been living with her Dad for longer than I remember. Normally we are the ones flying over to visit during summer break, but she hasn’t visited since she was a little Kid, and after her school schedule finally allowed it, we thought it would be a good idea if she, for a change, came here instead.”

“It sounds like you two get along great!” Mrs. Heffley walked in, holding a laundry basket under one arm while carrying Manny with the other.

“We do! I can’t wait to show her my room and have her around for the entire break! I have so much planned out already, it's gonna be so much fun! Best summer ever!”

“That sounds lovely Rowley, I wish Greg was so excited to hang out with Rodrick, but they just won't get along.” Susan sighed, throwing a pitiful glance at her two oldest, who simultaneously let out a laugh hearing this.”

“Yeah, never gonna happen.” Greg says, “I would rather spend the whole summer in school than voluntarily hang out with this idiot.”

“My Sister is actually around the same age as Rodrick.” Rowley buts in. Greg doesn’t understand how this is relevant, but it probably adds to his mother's yearning for her two oldest sons to get along. Rodrick lets out a laugh hearing that.

“I can’t wait to meet them. Just imagine an older, female version of Rowley. That’s actually fucking hilarious!”.

“Watch your language! Also, I'm sure she is wonderful.” Gregs Mom loosens her lecturing stance, turns around, and smiles at Rowley “I would love to have you and your family over for dinner sometime. It has been a while since I’ve seen your parents and I would love to meet your sister.”

“That sounds great Mrs. Heffley. I will ask my parents as soon as I get home!”

That brings us to about a week later, when the Jefferson family, including their oldest daughter, is standing in front of the Heffleys House, ringing their doorbell.

Rowley has been telling you all about his best friend Greg for years, which made you somewhat excited about finally meeting him. However, you can’t say that the picture your brother painted is entirely positive, finding him rather irritating in many of the stories you were told over time. You aren't too mad though, assuming it is normal for young, teenage boys to act like jerks every once in a while. Not everyone can be such a sweetheart as Rowley. Overall you're glad your brother managed to maintain such a long-lasting friendship.

And then there was Rodrick. You've heard rather interesting stories about him as well. In the beginning, you found those quite amusing, that was until you realized that Rowley was genuinely terrified of him. Not the best first impression someone could make on you. Influenced by seeing your younger sibling grow up to be such a sweet and genuine person you tend to be a bit protective from time to time.

You hear some hushed voices from inside, and you can identify one of them as female, reminding someone to behave. Then the door opens and a woman, who you assume to be Mrs. Heffley, kindly smiles at you. Your suspicion is confirmed a second later when she introduces herself and shoos you into the house, before continuing to greet the rest of your family.

Crossing the threshold you can now see a man standing slightly behind Greg's mother. He introduces himself as Frank, making quite a kind impression on you. Then he leads you into the living room to meet his sons.

The two older ones hardly even notice you at first, too occupied with arguing and rowing with each other.

“Boys!”, their father speaks up, successfully catching their attention. Rather comically their gazes fall from their father to you, their eyes widening and their mouths dropping open. You were not what they expected. While Greg looks just shocked, you would describe Rodricks state as mesmerized.

He recovers fast, pushes Greg off of him, stands up, and puts on what he hopes is a charming smile. Extending his hand he starts to introduce himself.

“Hi, I’m-”

At least he tries to.

“Rodrick. I know. My brother has told me one or two rather interesting stories about you”, your smile is sharp. He gulps, his confident smile turning sheepish, cursing Rowley in his head. You are not what he expected and you are definitely not anywhere close to being a female carbon copy of your, in his eyes, embarrassing younger brother.

He normally wouldn’t consider himself the kind of person who has a type, but from now on, if someone asked, he would probably revert to describing you. You were just ethereal, everything about you was attractive to him. The way you walked, talked, and carried yourself, but also your clothing and hairstyle. Your pretty face just rounds up your whole appearance, making you all the more alluring.

He had to get on your good side. While a family dinner, especially with Greg present, may not be the best opportunity, he could ask Rowley to put in a few good words for him. That kid was easily influenced (or intimidated). Still, making the best possible impression over dinner wouldn’t cause any harm either.

You turn to the other boy who has been silently watching the exchange. Now that your attention is on him he starts feeling nervous as well. Your expression, however, turns a bit more friendly.

“And you must be Greg.” he nods. You introduce yourself and lastly say hello to Manny who is sitting on the floor playing with some figurines. By now the others have entered the room, causing Susan to start leading you all to the dining table.

You’re seated between Rowley and Greg, across from Rodrick, which results in quite frequent eye contact. On one side you really want to intimidate him a bit. This could maybe make your brother's life a bit easier, at least for the time being. On the other side, you do want to make some conversation, maybe throw in a bit of (family dinner appropriate) flirting or at least find out if he’s single.

It’s really hard to hold a grudge against someone who is entirely your type.

While you’re conflicted, Rodrick, on the other hand, is sweating. Nervously fidgeting in his seat. You didn’t seem as irritated with him anymore, if the eye contact was anything to go by. Was this his chance to redeem his shitty first impression? He cursed his brain for failing to come up with something cool to say.

Since when is it so hard to talk to girls? Is it getting hotter in here? What impresses girls? What does he normally brag about? His band! That’s it. Now he just has to bring it up somehow. Maybe he can bribe Greg to ask him about it. No, that’s too risky, he can’t count on Greg to not fuck this up. He is just going to casually bring it up ‘I’m in a band by the way, pretty sick huh?’ ‘Do you like music? Cause I’m in a band’ No that’s stupid everyone likes music… ‘Which kind of music do you listen to?’ That’s good, he should bring up the topic of music first, that’s a normal conversation topic. After that step two is to bring up the band. That’s easy, he got this.

Now he just needs to wait till your attention is on him again and then he can smoothly lead the conversation in the desired direction. He has to calm down, he can do it.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Your eyes meet again.

“I’m in a band!” He speaks way louder than intended, his voice is squeaky, and in the middle of the sentence he has the most embarrassing voice crack imaginable.

Silence.

The sole attention is now on him. All he hears is Greg's snickering which causes him to kick him under the table.

“Ow!” That was not Greg's leg. He looks up to see you looking at him with a questioning expression.

That’s it. He fucked up. His chances were already low, but he still managed to shrink them even more, making them most likely completely vanish. Great. His ears were ringing, all he can hear is Greg's quiet laughter in the background.

“I'm sorry I didn’t mean to kick you, I-” he starts his apology but loses track of what he is trying to say when he sees your expression change. You're clearly trying to suppress a smile, but it's not working at all.

“You’re adorable.” Rowley chokes on his food, and Greg's laughter abruptly stops

“Rodrick? Adorable?” That’s it. Greg gives up on ever trying to understand girls. How can his stupid older brother embarrass himself like that, then kick the poor girl under the table and still be perceived as adorable by her, especially since she is so much out of his league?

Rodrick however, was still not functioning properly.

“So that band, is its name by any chance Löded Diaper?”

“Yeah.” He is proud of himself for speaking at an appropriate volume without stuttering. “How do yo-”

“I saw your creepy white Van in front of the house. What’s up with that, kidnapping little kids as a side hustle?” You are still smiling, and with your stupid joke you somehow manage to relax the atmosphere a bit, the adults going back to their conversation.

Rodrick too is now smiling, looking at you with an expression you could only describe as lovestruck, even though you just insulted him.

He is contemplating making a joke about how the space in the back could be quite useful for more than just trapping kids but decides against it, fearing to make it awkward again. Getting nervous about taking too much time to come up with an answer he instead lands on “No only kidnapping pretty girls like you.”. As soon as the words leave his mouth he regrets it, realizing it's in fact not a funny and flirty thing to say, but honestly rather creepy.

At the end of the evening, Rodrick has messed up flirting with you multiple times, however, it’s his luck that you find his desperate attempts to look cool to impress you weirdly endearing. Not that he realizes that. Calling Rodrick confused, questioning why you were still talking to him, would be an understatement.

He certainly doesn’t know how he can have messed up so many times and still end up finding a little note with your number on it in his pullover hood after you left.

[mykoreanlove]

Evaluation

Minho’s head fell back on the silky cushion.

He was exhausted, but utterly happy. You were still on your knees, sucking him off delicately for the third time this weekend. 

He clasped his hands behind his head and watched you giddily - his eyes observed your red nails gliding around his shaft, the spit drooling from your pretty mouth as well as your sticky hair that was glued to your forehead. 

He listened to your vibrant moans, wishing to capture this moment for eternity. 

He had no idea how you did it but you put him under a spell. Every touch of yours ignited a fire within him, one that could never be extinguished. 

Minho had a lot of experience, knowing a thing or two about sex but he had never encountered someone like you. Someone so sexy and devout, confident yet submissive. 

He swore he could have seen stars as he came into your pretty mouth, covering your throat with his warm cum. You wiped away the spit as you released him, looking up at him with your big doll eyes. 

Sex was messy, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

You collapsed onto his broad chest as you came back to your senses, it didn’t take him a second to embrace you in the tightest hug known to mankind.

„Kitten“, he whispered softly. 

„Hmm“, you mumbled into his chest. You felt his whole body vibrating from laughter. 

„You are anything but ordinary, you know that? My little sex queen.“

„Sex queen?“, your head shot up confused.

„Yeah.“, he nodded. „I’ve never been fucked like that before.“

Your irritation was visible on your face. Minho had intended to compliment you, however he brought up an old wound of yours. 

„Kitten, what’s wrong? Did I offend you?“, he asked concerned.

You got up and rolled off him, walking to the other side of the room. Minho followed you hastily, your reaction made him anxious. 

„Hey, talk to me“, he demanded softly.

Your eyes were filled with tears. Even though the incident happened years ago, it still had the same dramatic effect on you.

„Can I hug you?“

You nodded your head, too ashamed to say a word.

Minho threw his arms around you, holding you completely naked under the moonlight.

„You wanna tell me what’s wrong?“

You took a deep breath as you recollected your first time ever.

„It’s about me losing my virginity back then. I was with this guy and he was way older than me and naturally the sex was awful. I was nervous and clumsy and sometimes it really hurt and I asked him to stop. In the end, he came but I didn’t and it was just horrible.“, you explained flatly.

„I’m so sorry, Kitten. I wish your first time had been special.“, Minho said as he placed a kiss on your forehead.

„Oh no, that’s not the traumatizing part, Min.“, you shook your head. 

„It’s not?“

„No. That part came the next day when I woke up and he was gone. But you know what he had left me? A list.“

„A list?“, Minho asked confused.

You nodded. „A motherfucking list.“

„What was it about?“

Flashbacks of you reading each point found their way back into your consciousness, making you shiver with disgust. And yet, ten years later you were still able to recite every single point from that list.

„It’s a list about my sex skills. Or rather lack thereof.“

Minho’s eyes widened in shock, still not fully comprehending what you were saying. 

„Kitten?“

You let out a deep sigh.

„Point one. Be sexier. Don’t be so quiet. Moan and scream. Point two. Your head game needs a lot of work. Look it up. Point three. Don’t act awkward. You’re not a virgin anymore. Point four. You need to get better at shaving. He actually put a smiley at the end of that sentence.“, you rolled your eyes while recollecting.

Minho’s jaw hit the floor as he was too stunned to speak.

„Point five. Don’t tell a guy to stop when he’s getting into it. It ruins the mood. Point six. Don’t be shy. It’s not sexy. And last but not least. Point seven. Get on your knees if I ask you to. My pleasure comes first.“

Hundreds of thoughts were rushing through Minho’s head right now. His blood was boiling, as he could feel his whole body getting hotter and hotter. What kind of jerk had the audacity to insult you like that?!

„You know, don’t get me wrong. I know that my first time sucked and I was very eager to learn. Like, I wanted to get better at sex. But his way of communicating that? I felt so small and disgusting. I gave my body to him, for the first time ever, and he critiqued me like a fucking ballet recital. And you know the funniest thing?“

You looked up at Minho, expectancy in your eyes.

Minho on the other hand just looked at you, trying his hardest to calm down. 

„That stupid list even had a name. A name!“, you laughed manically. „Can you guess it?“

Minho’s face turned white as he realized what it had to be called. 

„How to become a sex queen.“, you snorted. „Ain’t that funny.“ 

[gene-nine]

late night talking (j.p. x fem!reader)

pairing: james potter x reader

synopsis: when you can't sleep, james (coincidentally) swoops in to help.

warnings: ❌ proofread (oops, my b)

words: 1379 (short lil story)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it was dark and silent in the Gryffindor common room. the clock above the fireplace reads 1:07 a.m. in the throes of late night insomnia, you figured a change of scenery might help you relax. that’s how you find yourself in sweatpants and a t-shirt, sprawled on the couch in the common room. 

you don’t often find yourself unable to sleep, only when there’s a lot on your mind, and studying for and taking your OWL’s for the past week and a half has certainly put you in that position. you swear every time you close your eyes, ancient runes decorate the backs of your eyelids. you had even begun having stress dreams of a potion gone horribly wrong. Lily had recognized your anxious state and invited you to quiet study sessions by the lake. a momentary distraction was all it turned out to be. all your pent up stress returned the second you re-entered the castle. 

but now it’s all over, and the ghost of the pressure you felt still lingers. your skin feels unnaturally warm, even now rid of your bed covers. you’re starting to think the slight headache resting on your temples is permanent. the solitude of the common room at this hour is therapeutic, it’s so rare that you get a moment to yourself away from the obnoxious group headed by James Potter and Sirius Black. but the longer you sit in solitude, the more it starts to feel like loneliness. that is, until a familiar face shows up.

enter: James Potter, clad in his red and gold checkered pajama pants and a black sweater. his curly black hair tousled from his pillow and his cheeks pink from sleep. he looks as tired as you feel, only he was lucky enough to fall asleep for a few hours. he doesn’t see you at first as he walks around the back of the couch, but jumps slightly once he spots you. 

“good morningggggg.” you groan, scrunching your legs up enough that he can sit at the end of the couch. James rubs his eyes tiredly as he flops into the empty space. he pats his lap, signaling you to return your legs to their previous position, which you do. 

“what are you doing up?” he asks through a yawn. you’re almost jealous. while your exhaustion is very much real, it’s apparently not yawn-worthy. he takes in the slight bags under your eyes (exaggerated by the dimming fire) and your messy hair. “you look…great.” he mumbles sarcastically. you move a foot to jab him in the side.

“don’t even,” you grumble as you cover your face with your arms, “i’ve hardly slept all week.”

“that explains a lot.” he laughs quietly.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” 

“nothing, you’ve just been…snappy.”

“i have not been snappy.” you retort, offended. this earns a laugh from James. a real laugh, the kind that makes him throw his head back slightly. 

“how about when Sirius asked if you needed any help with your defense spells and you told him you’d ‘rather die than be stupid enough to need his help’?” he says through giggles. 

“a well earned response, i think.” you sit up from your place on the couch, rubbing your eyes and linking your arms over your head, staring at the ceiling. you always wished the common room had a skylight, it seemed a waste to have a giant castle in the middle of a clearing with no trees and not design it so the stars can be visible from the indoors. “why are you awake, anyway?” 

“i was asleep, and then i wasn’t. Sirius’ snoring is a lot less tolerable when you’re awake.” James follows your gaze to the ceiling, “hey, would you wanna go somewhere?”

“it’s one in the morning, James, where on earth would we go?”

“astronomy tower?” a small smile twitches at your lips. you turn your head to look at the boy next to you and nod. he shines that bright James Potter smile that puts knots in your stomach. he stands up and holds out a hand for you to grab. you take it gladly and let him pull you to your feet

the trip to the astronomy tower was filled with hushed giggling and being pulled through the halls by a skipping James. by the time you get there, you’re feeling slightly more awake, yet thoroughly winded. the night air is refreshing compared to that of the castle. you walk out onto the balcony overlooking the lake, the lights from the night sky lighting up your face and the bare skin of your arms. you had never seen so many stars at the same time. 

“woah.” you breathe out, without fully realizing you said it out loud. you wrap your arms around yourself as a breeze ruffles your hair and your loose t-shirt. 

“better than the common room, don’t you think?” James’ voice asks from close behind you. you turn around to see him standing less than a foot away from you, already looking down at you. you didn’t think he could look any more beautiful, but here under the moonlight, he’s proved you wrong. his hazel eyes seem to glow, the whites looking impossibly bright. the small smile he looks down at you with makes your stomach flip, like the feeling you get right before the drop of a rollercoaster. 

“much better.” you scrunch your nose, as if it wasn’t obvious you’d rather be here than the suffocating castle. a light brush of your arm makes you look down, James’ hand gently crossing the skin on your forearm that’s prickled with goosebumps. 

“cold?” he asks quietly. before you can answer he pulls off his sweater, leaving him in a t-shirt. he motions for you to hold your arms up so he can slip it on you. your head gets stuck in the collar, causing you both to break into giggles as James tries to fix it. he smooths your hair out, tucking it behind your ears before lowering his arms. with anyone else, this moment might have been awkward. but this was James. and rather than feeling embarrassed, you feel comfortable. you break eye contact to gaze back up at the sky, and as he steps up next to you, you feel your hands brush. 

“which one’s your favorite?” he questions, staring up at the constellations above you. you think for a moment, breathing deep.

“boring answer? orion, because i can almost always find it. niche answer? cassiopeia. it’s the one right…there.” you point at a cluster of stars that forms an M, some are dimmer than others. he follows your gaze and nods. 

“not sure that i have a favorite constellation, but Sirius is my favorite star because…well duh.” James laughs. without thinking too much about it, you lean into him, and you feel him wrap an arm around your waist. 

“this might be my new spot for when i can’t fall asleep.” you whisper, not sure whether you’re talking to yourself or James. 

“well now i know where to look for you.” he tightens his hold on your side to accentuate his point. you mumble a response, all of a sudden feeling much lighter than before. then, as if some sort of miracle, you yawn. “we should get you back to bed, yeah?” James says, looking down at you as your eyes start drooping. you mumble again, partially in agreement (because you’re tired) but also in protest (because you’d do anything to stay on this balcony with him). wordlessly, he starts guiding you away from the balcony railing and towards the stairs that brings you back to the main corridors. James lets you lean on him as you make your way back to the common room. pausing at the staircase to the girls dormitories, you pull away and he lets you. 

“see you in the morning, James.” you smile fondly up at him. he smiles back, looking just as sleepy as you. 

“see you tomorrow. get some sleep, okay?” he whispers, grabbing your hand and squeezing it affectionately. you turn and ascend the stairs back to your dorm. as you slip back into bed, still wearing his sweater, you doze off much faster than you could have hoped.

[ilovedinodino]

…i was so miserable? l. hc smau

33. dummy (written)

wc: 1625

"I love you."

You froze.

“W-what?” You stared at Haechan in shock, noticing that he looked equally stunned. The sudden confession left you completely speechless. Both of you stood frozen in place, gazing at each other as an uneasy tension filled the air. Your anxiety, which you had momentarily pushed aside, came crashing back.

“Y/N! That was incredible! And you were saying there’s nothing special about this? Why would you… Y/N?” Karina’s excited voice cut through your haze as she approached. But as soon as she got closer, her expression shifted when she noticed your strange state.

“Are you okay—”

Before she could finish, you grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the studio, leaving the boys behind, confused and worried.

“Haechan, what’s going on?” Mark stepped closer, placing a hand on Haechan’s shoulder. Jeno and Jisung followed, their concern evident. Jeno, in particular, looked deeply worried about you two.

“I told her I love her.”

Haechan stood still, staring blankly at the wall. A wave of anxiety washed over him, mirroring your own. He hadn’t planned to confess like this—he hadn’t planned to confess at all, at least not anytime soon. He didn’t even realize what he had said or why. The moment he froze while looking at you, his mind had completely shut down, and the words slipped out on their own. He truly hadn’t meant for this to happen.

“You what?” Jeno’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

Haechan turned his head slowly to look at him, and Jeno noticed the faint glimmer of tears in his eyes. Without hesitation, he stepped closer and wrapped Haechan in a firm, reassuring hug. The four boys stood silently, giving Haechan the space he needed.

——

“Y/N, breathe. Everything is fine.”

Everything was fine. Rationally, you knew that. But you couldn’t stop the tears streaming down your face. You sat on the cold floor of the restroom as Karina crouched in front of you, gently holding your trembling hands.

“I’m here. I’ve got you.”

“I…” Your voice broke, and the tears only came faster.

“Shh, you don’t have to say anything right now,” she reassured you, but you shook your head, determined to get the words out.

“H-he just told me… that he loves me,” you whispered between sobs.

Karina’s eyes widened in surprise. “He told you he loves you? Just now? Y/N… is it that upsetting? Do you dislike him that much?”

“It’s not that…” you stammered, your voice trembling with emotion. “It’s just… you know how much I hate living, Karina. I don’t understand why he… why…”

Your voice cracked, and you buried your face in your hands as sobs wracked your body again. Karina sat beside you and wrapped her arms around you tightly.

“I can’t give him anything but pain, Karina. That’s all I am. I’m horrible… I wasn’t even planning on staying…”

“Stop.” Karina’s firm voice interrupted you before you could finish. She pulled back just enough to meet your teary gaze, her hands still gripping yours.

“Y/N, don’t say that. You’re not horrible. Haechan loves you exactly as you are. Even when you pushed him away, he never stopped caring about you. He never gave up on you. You deserve to live, Y/N. You deserve to be happy. Please, give life a chance.”

“I don’t even know why I feel so anxious, Karina. I can’t control it…” you admitted, your voice breaking. Today had been overwhelming, each emotion building on the last until it all poured out in this moment. You felt raw, exposed, and completely drained.

"You're not to blame for this, okay? We'll find a solution, and everything will be fine. But please, don't push Haechan away right now."

You sighed, no longer crying, though your breathing was still unsteady.

"Karina, can I tell you something?"

She nodded, and you began sharing your story with her.

——

After some time, there was a knock on the door.

"Y/N, can we talk?"

It was Haechan.

Karina looked at you, waiting for your response.

"You can go, thank you. I'll talk to him." Karina gently patted your head one last time before stepping out, allowing Haechan to come in.

Haechan stood before you, and the two of you silently stared at each other. You noticed his eyes were red and swollen. It became clear that he had been crying too.

"You've been crying? Why?"

Haechan flinched at your question, and you saw tears starting to stream down his face again.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say it like that. I wanted to give you time. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to leave without giving me a chance, I swear I can stop being so clingy and…”

He suddenly froze, startled when you hugged him tightly. Haechan panicked for a moment, but then buried his face in your neck, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close, as if afraid you might slip away.

“Donghyuck, it’s okay. You’re not clingy at all, I just got scared.” You smiled softly. At that moment, it felt as though you had switched roles: Haechan now seemed anxious and emotional, while you were the one calming him down and reassuring him that everything was fine.

“I love you too.”

“What?”

“I mean… I have feelings for you too, but I was scared to admit them. I didn’t think you’d want someone as broken as me.”

“Y/N, I'm broken too. Didn't you notice how I lost it after confessing? I didn't even realize I said it, and when I did, I got scared and wanted to disappear into the ground.»

You smiled again, watching as Haechan puffed out his lips and struggled to find the right words to convince you.

"Are you sure?"

"Sure about what?"

"About wanting to be with me?"

Haechan hugged you again and softly muttered:

"Y/N, I’d turn the world upside down just to be with you. I swear, I’ll take proper care of you, I’ll do anything for you. I really want to be your boyfriend."

"We’ll have to talk a lot."

Haechan pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes.

"We will! Starting today! Every single day, we’ll talk, and I’ll fix everything—I promise, Y/N."

Silence fell between you as you simply looked at each other.

"Then say it."

"Say what?" — Haechan looked confused.

"The proposal."

He kept staring at you, puzzled, but after a moment, realization hit him. Straightening his back, he firmly took your hands in his.

"Y/N, can I be your boyfriend?"

You didn’t say anything, just smiled. Haechan froze, clearly growing nervous, but a moment later, he felt your lips on his. You waited for him to respond to the kiss, and when he did, his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer. The kiss was soft, yet full of emotion, as if all the feelings he had tried to hide were suddenly unleashed. He held you tightly, not wanting to let go, as if afraid it might disappear. You could feel his breath, his lips, and in that moment, everything around you vanished. When you finally pulled away from each other, you were both breathing heavily, but smiling happily.

"Does that mean yes?"

"It means I’ll think about it."

And once again, Haechan stood there with a shocked expression, unable to believe your words. You laughed, surprised at how out of it he was, so much so that he couldn’t even recognize your usual sarcasm.

“Donghyuck, have you stopped understanding jokes or what?” you teased, lightly hitting his arm.

“Hey! I’m emotionally unstable right now! You can’t mess with me like this—I might start crying again!” he exclaimed, pretending to be offended.

The two of you laughed, easing the tension a bit. But Haechan noticed your hands were still trembling and gently held them.

“Hey, are you still anxious?”

You glanced at him, then down at your hands in his, and lowered your gaze.

“No, I’m fine now. It’s just that my hands always shake after emotional situations or anxiety. I’m okay, really,” you said softly, brushing your hand against his cheek. He smiled warmly in response.

“Are you sure? By the way, the others were planning to eat after practice.”

You immediately froze, your face going pale. A pang of guilt hit you as you realized how much your outbursts might have ruined the mood for everyone. You felt terribly sorry.

"Donghyuck, did I ruin everything?" Haechan looked at you in surprise.

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone was happy before all of this happened... They probably won't want to go anywhere now... Maybe they want to kick me out of the team for being so anxious all the time, and this time I took it too far..." Before you could finish your sentence, you felt Haechan's lips on yours. He kissed you to interrupt and stop your flood of thoughts.

"Y/N, stop. It's not like that. If you want, we can go out right now, explain everything to them, and we’ll go eat. We're all close friends, they’ll understand you and me. Everything's fine. And no one is going to kick you out. Are you crazy?"

"Yeah, I’m crazy."

Haechan clicked his tongue and gently wiped the tears and mascara from your cheeks with his fingers. He kissed your forehead one last time, took your hand, and led you toward the exit.

"Let's go, I’ll order you the biggest combo with a strawberry milkshake, just how you like it."

"You know I love strawberry milkshakes?!"

"Dummy, I love you, of course, I know these simple things about you."

You smiled and followed Haechan.

Anxiety is completely gone.

——

SYNOPSIS : Haechan was in love with a girl from his dance studio, but one day he accidentally found her Twitter account with her terrible secrets

or how Haechan found out that his crush suffers from depression and anxiety

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[sparklysung]

✨MEDDLE ABOUT – s.j.y.✨

© sparklysung – 2024. all rights reserved. no reposts, modifications and/or translations allowed.

pairing – sim jaeyun x female!reader

genre – smut | non-idol!au, university!au, strangers to lovers!au

warnings – kinda dom!reader (?), awkward!jake, oral (f. receiving), a bit of grinding maybe (?), mentions of alcohol and weed, pet names (mainly pup or puppy), physics major!jake, chemistry major!reader, reader calls jake a nerd lol. lmk if i forgot something!

word count – 2.370 words

summary – the one where jake ends up on his knees, eating you out after meeting you in a crowded bar. 

note – so i guess i’m back? from the dead? i’m so sorry if anyone cares that i literally for like a hot minute:’) i’m approaching the end of my university program so i’ve been super busy in the past couple years. stressed? all day every day. wanting to graduate asap? hell yeah. anyway, this was obviously inspired by meddle about – chase atlantic since i’ve been obsessed with them lately. pls lmk what you guys think, i’m trying to get back into writing and this is the first piece i’ve been able to finish so far lol. but pls be kind with me or i’ll cry lol i’m really anxious about posting again but fuck it we ball. this was also not proofread so ignore the errors if you find any lol. also lmk what y’all think about maybe starting a playlist type of series? with different idols and songs?

well, come and get it now,

when jake agreed to go bar hopping on a regular wednesday night with his friend group, he was not expecting the chain of events that would lead to where he was now. 

sure, he was hoping for a good time, especially since wednesdays were designated ‘dollar beers’ and the usually expensive alcoholic drinks were at a more accessible price. it was the perfect opportunity for broke college students to go out and get drunk while on a budget. 

that was why he did not put up much of a fight when jay let him know about their plan for the night, quickly coming to terms with the idea that he was going to have to show up to class horribly hungover. he knew no matter how many excuses he offered, jay was not going to take no for an answer. 

so, at 8 pm, jake took one last look at himself in the mirror, psyching himself up for what the night had prepared for him, before heading to jay’s place. 

come and get it now. 

“you made it.”

jay commented as soon as he propped the door to his apartment open, a satisfied smirk adorning his face. 

jake trailed behind his friend like a lost puppy, a bit anxious and painfully sober. once they reached the nicely decorated living room, the group was finally complete. 

by the look of it –if the others’ flushed cheeks were something to go by–, the night had already begun. 

his friends were chatting loudly, the sound of laughter and alcoholic beverages being passed around filled the otherwise neat area. the cold night air made him shudder as he joined the group, the smell of weed coming from the balcony making his lungs burn. 

baby, show me what you’re doing, 

before he knew it, jake found himself surrounded by sweaty bodies, the stuffy air enhancing the effect of the weed he had smoked earlier. the music blasting out of the multiple speakers scattered around the bar, the bass making his body feel numb. 

jake joined his friends, dancing with not a single care in the world, the concerns about school quickly slipping out of his intoxicated mind. 

it felt great to finally be able to relax for once. 

however, just as he was starting to enjoy the night, he somehow managed to make a fool of himself. 

“fuck,” jake yelp, utterly embarrassed. “i’m so sorry, i swear i didn’t mean to spill your drink!”

come and turn around. 

“you can make it up to me by getting me a new one?”

the sound of your melodic voice made his head tilt upwards, following the source, shame washing over his body when he got a look at you. 

you were hot. 

a little stunned by your pretty face, he struggled to say something. 

“o-of course!” he blurted out a little too loudly for comfort, and jake’s cheeks grew hot when you giggled at his awkwardness. 

we only met each other just the other day,

“i take it this is not your scene?” you wondered out loud, obviously trying to start a conversation with the cute boy. 

“uh, something like that,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his head, visibly nervous. “i don’t usually go out on weekdays, especially when i have class morning classes the next day.”

“i see,” you hummed, thinking about your own morning classes tomorrow. but who cared, right? have fun now and deal with the consequences later. 

“so, uh, what’s your program?” you smiled to yourself at his attempt at keeping the conversation alive, relieved to know he interested in you enough to engage with you.  

“chemistry.”

his eyebrows shot up at your words, impressed. 

“no way, i wasn’t expecting that.”

“yeah? what’s yours?”

“physics.”

you gasped loudly, feigning shock, and he smiled abashedly. 

“good thing i’m into nerds.”

but you already got me feeling some type of way. 

you were so bold with your words, so smooth with the way you flirted with him. your honey-like voice had him blindly agreeing with you, almost in a trance-like state. you could be asking him to trade his soul for a chicken nugget and he would instantly agree, no questions asked. 

the way you blinked at him, long lashes fluttering so innocently as your glazed over eyes stared straight through him, spiking up his heart rate. your body leaned closer with his every word, fingers toying with a loose strand of your silky hair in such an endearing way his fuzzy mind could not comprehend. 

it had to be illegal to be this attractive. 

and you were guilty as charged. 

now, if i could figure it out,

one thing led to another and soon your lips were on his plush ones, leaving a kiss that felt like a cup of hot chocolate in the winter. warm and sweet. 

jake was able to shake off the initial surprise and deepened the kiss. one hand found its way into the nape of your head, pulling you closer, and the other to the small of your back. his touch was hot and reassuring, allowing you to get lost in the feeling of his mouth on yours. 

your short dress rode up revealing more of your thighs as you reached for his broad, strong shoulders for support, your weight leaning on his athletic body. and to your delight, you could already feel the hardening bulge in his pants. 

he pulled away, his breathing uneven and lips swollen, appearing dazed. 

“wanna get out of here?”

i’d take you back to my house so we can meddle about. 

jake barely managed to lock the door before you were pushing him against it, arms going to wrap around his neck to bring him in for a kiss. your hungry lips on his, your hot body against him, the scent of your perfume. the combination of sensations overwhelming his senses and leaving him panting for air. 

he couldn’t get enough of you. 

jake noted to thank jay later for almost dragging him out of his house. 

your ministrations, the gentle but eager touch of your hands and your searing lips on his sensitive neck had jake struggling to keep up, far too aroused to think straight. his pants had become considerably tighter since he met you earlier. and he couldn’t help but push his hips into yours, searching for some much needed relief. 

the giggle you let out at his desperate attempt at humping you had a frustrated whimper almost escaping the poor boy. 

so pretty.

“aw, is my puppy getting impatient?” you asked in the most taunting tone, getting off on teasing him. 

“y/n, please, i need something,” jake pleaded, cock throbbing in his jeans. “anything.”

and who were you to deny such a polite boy?

somehow you both managed to stumble into his room, hands never leaving the other. 

‘cause it’s not just a figure of speech,

jake’s body fully sprawled on the bed trembled when you brought a hand to cup the tent in his jeans. his groans only grew louder, raw with desire as you slipped your hand under the fabric and made direct contact with his length. 

jake thought he was having a fever dream from how stupidly hot his body felt. each caress of your soft hands had him weak on the knees, hips bucking to follow your touch, not caring about how needy he seemed. 

your panties were drenched as you felt him up, mouth watering at the thought of his dick fucking your throat until you choked. 

but that could wait. what you needed right now was his mouth on your dripping core. 

you got me down on my knees. 

“fuck, please,” he whined, “let me taste you.”

jake looked at you from his place on the floor, looking all desperate to get his hands on you. you could see his pretty eyes shining even in the darkness, a glint of need letting you know just how much he wanted you. 

slowly, you lifted your dress to reveal your underwear, your fingers teasing the hem of the garment. 

he swallowed, his mouth uncomfortably dry. his own fingers itched to reach for you and get your panties off himself, too eager to get more of you to wait.

your eyes scanned the boy in front of you, eyebrows scrunched together, a bead of sweat dripping down his temple. despite your limited vision, you could easily make out the outline of his cock in his pants. you almost wanted to jump straight into business just to get a look, wondering what shade of pink it was.

key word: almost. 

“what’s wrong, puppy?” you teased, biting back a smirk. when he only huffed in response, you decided to push further. “speak up, sim, i asked you a question.”

his hard cock twitched from the confines of his jeans at your tone. 

you looked annoyed, tapping your foot impatiently as you waited for an answer. 

“i need you, please,” his words came out slurred, too horny to care. 

you nodded, raising a brow at him. “it wasn’t that hard now, was it?”

his body almost vibrated with excitement when you pulled your panties down your legs. you stepped closer to him once they hit the floor, and his eyes immediately shot to the discarded piece of clothing, breathing getting heavier when he found the wet patch at the crotch. 

among the wide range of traits you possessed, liar wasn’t one of them. the sight of him, on his knees, begging to please you, had you rubbing your thighs together. your neglected core dripping with arousal. 

“be a good pup and eat me out.”

jake perked up as soon as his brain processed your words, scooting closer without a care for his knees. he hummed when you gasped at the feeling of his tongue licking a stripe up your slit. 

it’s getting harder to breathe out. 

jake groaned when you pushed his head closer, his nose digging into your pussy and putting pressure on your clit. his hands immediately went to grab at your thighs, gripping them for dear life. 

he was enamoured with the way your hips bucked into his mouth, your plush lips letting moans escape. it was like music to his ears. 

girl, just scream it out,

jake could barely breathe but he didn’t care. all he could think about was the intoxicating scent of your arousal, how sweet you tasted on his tongue. he could feel a mixture of your juices and his saliva drip down his neck, and he felt like he was about to cum in his pants like a bitch in heat. 

his hips desperately humped the air, too engrossed in making you cum all over his face to feel embarrassed. your fingers tangled in his soft locks, tugging at the roots whenever his tongue swiped just right only egging him on to work harder. 

tell me what you’re thinking about. 

“j-jake,” you whined, feeling the knot in your stomach tightening at the speed of light. “don’t stop.”

bet, he thought. 

if the way your thighs were trembling around his head was something to go by, he knew you were close. 

feeling you fall apart just from his mouth only was driving him insane. he couldn’t wait to see you take his cock, velvety walls stretched around his thickness. he wanted to hear your sweet moans as you struggled to fit him whole, pussy too tight for such a big dick. 

hell, just the idea if it had jake eating you out like he would never get pussy ever again. his skilled tongue poked at your entrance, trying to push it as far as he could, relishing in the squelching sounds filling the room. 

“fuck,” he moan into your pussy when you pulled his hair a little harsher than before, the vibrations directly against your clit sending you over the edge. 

you swore your mind blanked out for a second there. your orgasm washed over you like a tsunami, leaving you light headed. your body convulsed as if you were experiencing a demonic possession first hand, hips humping jake’s face like a rabid dog, riding out your high. and if it weren’t for jake’s grip on you, you would’ve hit the floor. 

once you regained a hint of control over your body, you pushed his head away from your sensitive core. 

to your satisfaction, jake looked as equally as fucked out as you. his once pristine shirt was now clinging to his toned body due to the sweat, his dark hair disheveled and sticking to his forehead. his pupils were blown out, chest heaving up and down at a concerningly fast pace. 

you had him exactly how you liked men, utterly ruined. 

with a sly grin on your face, you pulled him back up on his feet by his shirt. before he could yelp, your lips crashed against his in a heated kiss. jake stumbled towards you, unintentionally pressing your body into the cold wall behind you.

his hands grabbed your hips to pull you impossibly closer, need to feel more of you. your fingers wandered back to his hair, playing with the strands of silky hair and hissing against your lips when you pulled a little too hard. 

his body felt like it had been lit on fire, the touch of his large hands almost burning you, leaving behind an invisible outline of his hand on your skin. the kiss you shared grew more passionate, more desperate with each passing moment, your tongues waltzing to the pace of your fast-beating hearts. 

although you were enjoying the heated exchange, you both needed more. 

no, i wanna see you undress now. 

you hastily removed your clothes, tossing them somewhere in the room. jake followed suit, matching your eagerness, ready to pounce on you the moment he got the chance. 

soon you found yourselves all over each other once again, hands touching and feeling up the other’s body, lips finding each other with a growing intensity. 

jake placed you on his bed, looking down at you like you just escaped his wildest dreams. 

i wanna hear you confess now. 

“i want you to fuck me, jake.”

–lia:)

[aliceintheworld]

PURE ATTRACTION | JJK | TATTOO ARTIST

Pairing: TattooArtistJungkook X NaiveReader

summary: "I shouldn’t be watching a man undressing, specially not from the house next door."

Warning: angst 😭 (I know, but I promise it will pass soon) kiss, crying, Jungkook being an idiot, but regretting later (he will suffer a bit more in the next chapters, I promise) alcoholic drink, confession 😍

A/N: I know, I promised I would post this yesterday, but my internet stopped working and there was nothing I could do 🤷‍♀️ anyway, here it is: finally things are aligning a little bit. Spoiler alert: the OC's mother will soon find out what’s going on, and things will get ugly 😬. Speaking of which, PURE ATTRACTION is coming to an end, and I'm already thinking about new projects. I hope you can join me on this journey 🤟

Previous Chapter

CAPITULO 11

The fright pulls me away from Y/N instantly. When I look back, it's Bora calling me. She stops walking and stares at us for a few seconds. Then she smiles in a mischievous way, almost as if we were doing something more than a near kiss. I can't ignore the bad feeling that overwhelms me when I can't achieve my goal. I know I'm confused and should avoid playing with someone else's feelings, but being apart from her these past few days, has been my greatest martyrdom.

“Sorry to interrupt.” She giggles, biting her lower lip.

“You didn’t interrupt anything.” Y/N quickly shakes her head, embarrassed. “I need to see Hayun. Is she around?”

“Yes.” Bora nods in agreement. “Jungkook, Namjoon was looking for you. Please go see him. No one can stand him anymore, seriously. It feels like a funeral over there.”

“I’ll be right there.” I sigh, feeling I have no choice. I didn't want to go, but I know I need to. I glance at Y/N one last time before heading inside Yoongi's house. I try to maintain a calm expression, but I can’t. I’m so dazed by everything happening that I can barely think straight.

Namjoon came to Busan out of the blue, and even though I have some regard for him, I didn’t want him to do it. I shouldn’t have mentioned the party to him, but I'm so used to having him in my life, I didn’t expect him to travel, just to see me. I didn’t want to do this to Y/N; she must be thinking horrible things about me—part of which are true—but before heading to Seoul, I wanted to talk to her and clear things up, not this mess that just happened. When she left my apartment that day, I spent hours in my room, echoing her words in my head.

I’m a proud person. I don’t like being wrong, and when I am, it’s hard for me to stop, breathe, and ask for forgiveness. However, that same day, I knew I needed to do it. I knew I needed to talk to Y/N and resolve everything before it was too late. Contrary to what she says, I really do like her. She makes me feel good, makes me happy... whenever I’m with her, I don’t think about anything else. My world, filled with problems and worries, becomes a world that is only hers. I wanted to say this to her, but I'm so confused about Namjoon that I'm afraid to make the situation worse and regret it even more.

As I approach the house, I see him among my friends, leaning against the wall. He seems unfazed by the grim situation, but I know he is bothered. I’ve known him for years, and I know he liked everyone before all the shit hit the fan, throwing our dreams and what we built together, in the trash. He smiles at me when he sees me, and I can’t reciprocate in the same way. The pride I once felt being with him, no longer exist.

“Is everything okay?” I ask when I reach Namjoon. He shrugs and shows me a red cup with a clear drink. It looks like water, but I'm pretty sure it isn’t.

“I’ve been better.” He explains in a slurred voice, watching Taehyung and Yoori kissing in the corner. It used to be the two of us, the lovey-dovey couple. “Is everything okay? You were with that girl for a good while.”

“I needed to talk to her.” I say honestly, feeling anxious; it’s like I’m doing something wrong when I know I’m not.

“She seems important... the way you looked at her...” He suggests, but it doesn’t seem serious. It’s as if he’s saying all this, but knows there’s no possibility of any involvement. Y/N isn’t the type of person I would have approached with interest, in the past, and Namjoon knows that.

“She is important.” I confirm, trying to stay relaxed. Namjoon bites his lip and looks at me with an expression I can't decipher.

“You’re joking, right?” He asks; his jaw tightens, waiting for a response.

“I’m not.” I shake my head; my heart pounding almost as loud as the music. “We had a connection, and she’s important to me, that's why we talked.”

“Wow.” Namjoon scoffs, drinking more of his drink. He rolls his eyes ironically, and then sighs. “You really bounce back quickly.”

“What did you expect me to do? Wait for you?”

“No, just that you’d wait until everything could align.”

“You didn’t wait, Namjoon.” My throat burns with my growl. How can he be so hypocritical? “You ended everything. You slept with that guy from your work when we were about to move in together.”

“I made a mistake. You needed one mistake to end everything.” He replies.

“I needed one mistake to realize you weren’t the right person for me.” I say, clarifying the fact for both him and me. “Love doesn’t hurt, doesn’t deceive. What you did... you just ruined everything. What are you really doing here?”

“I thought I was welcome in your life.” He argues, and it’s the first time I see pain and regret in his eyes. He steps closer to me, his short breaths hitting my face. Him being taller than me never bothered me, but now it feels like he’s a tower over me. A mountain. “I thought you still loved me.”

“I loved the person I thought you were.” I say, closing my eyes. My throat tightens and my chest feels heavy. All the good moments we had together flash in my mind. The first time I saw him, the first time we made love. The first time I said I loved him, scared that he wouldn’t feel the same, and Namjoon reciprocated, exceeding all my expectations. All of that no longer exists. The Jungkook who was crazy about him, who admired him, is just a shadow of who I am now. I loved him so much that I almost overlooked his betrayal for us to be together. I no longer see a future for us, I see nothing but emptiness.

“I made a mistake once, Jungkook. Just once.” He says with a slurred tongue. He looks drunk and sad. A bad combination.

“Namjoon, that’s enough. This is serious now. I want this to end. Go back to Seoul. Stay in your apartment. You need to forget me and move on. We’re not good for each other.”

“We can fix all this. We can move on together.”

“We can’t, because I’ve already made my decision. You no longer fit in my life.” I’ve never been so decisive as I am now. I remember, in the back of my mind, the way I feel every time I see Y/N; none of this feels right.What he did is unforgivable, and I could never trust him again. It just seems wrong. His dark eyes fill with tears, and he takes another step closer to me. His scent mixed with alcohol is still good, but doesn't draw me like three months ago.

“I can show you that you still want me. That I still have you.” He whispers, and even though I don’t want to, I close my eyes to welcome him. For the last time. Just this once, and then everything will be over.

His mouth crashes against mine with ferocity. He seems to show through his actions that he’s regretful, and I can feel it, but it’s not enough. In the midst of the kiss, I take everything from him. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him against me. Namjoon is mine, for the last time. All these years together, I thought it would be forever, but we can’t be anymore. His tongue meets mine in a wildness I recognize. I grunt between his lips as I feel his hand on my back, so forcefully that it’s as if he wants to merge with me. The kiss is sexual, but devoid of feeling. Y/N echoes in my head once again, from when we kissed in your room while her mom was knocking on the door. When our lips met, I felt so much more than just physical contact or her touch. It’s then that I realize it’s not worth it. All the suffering has passed, and I don’t need this anymore. I abruptly pull away from him. Our heavy, quick breaths mix as I stare into his eyes. He tries to get closer again, but I don't allow it. I push him away with my hands, trembling, anxious and sad.

“It’s over.” I whisper. His face contorts as if I’ve punched him. I feel sorry for him, but I can’t deceive us anymore. “It’s over. That was the last time we kissed. The last time you touched me. I didn’t end our relationship. You did.” I conclude; my voice comes out hoarse and in a grunt from deep in my throat. There’s no anger, no resentment towards him. Namjoon doesn’t respond, completely silent, and how could he?

I cover my face with my hands, and let out a sigh mixed with relief and anguish, escaping my soul. When I turn around, my eyes unconsciously go to the woman who, since I met her, changed something within me. Her eyes, however, are filled with tears; her cheeks flushed as if she’s holding back an impending cry. Only then do I realize that Y/N must have seen the kiss with Namjoon, and I can’t imagine what she must be thinking. Before I can react, she turns her back and walks away from the crowded room.

“Y/N!” I shout through the people, but my voice sounds low amidst the music. I move instinctively and hurry after her. Her body almost disappears down the hallway, but I run faster, pushing past two guys who look like they want to kill me, and a girl, who yells at me for bumping into her. None of this stops me until I manage to catch her by the arm. “Y/N, stop!”

“Let me go!” She twists her wrist, shaking her body so I’ll release her. I loosen my grip on her skin, afraid of hurting her, and she pulls away again, faster this time. She heads for the main door of the house and flings it open.

“I’m not letting you go!” I yell at her, walking faster as the facade of the house gets further away from us. “Y/N, listen to me!”

“Stop following me!” She screams at me; her usually sweet and soft voice sounds angry and hurt. I run faster until I can stand in front of her. I don’t touch her, but I don’t let her pass, using my body like a wall to block her path. “Let me through, Jungkook.”

“No.” I shake my head. Her face twists. Her nose crinkles, and her forehead furrows. I’m sure if she could hit me right now, she would.

“Let me through.” She pleads again, taking short steps that I once again block.

“No, not until you listen to me.” I say with such force that she flinches. Her angry, hardened face transforms into an ironic laugh, which fades as more tears fill her eyes. Her white, smooth neck is filled with veins, as if she’s about to burst with rage. Her breath comes fast, as if she doesn’t have enough air.

“You’re a fucking bastard, a total son of bitch. I don't want to listen anything.” She growls at me. It’s the first time I’ve seen her curse; it’s so strange that it feels like those words don’t belong to her. “How can you do this to me? Yo-You are... I don’t even have words to describe you!”

“I know! I know! I’m a fucking mess, do you think I don’t know that?”

“You’re a son of bitch!” She screams again at me, pushing against my chest. “I want to punch you right now! I want to hit you until you turn into someone Irrecognizable.” She pushes me again, but I hardly budge. Although she’s angry and furious with me, I’m much bigger and stronger than her. I remain silent, watching as the trapped tears begin to flow down her face. The face that so often had been lit up with joy when she was with me, now looks defeated.

“I know... Y/N, I know.” I respond in a whisper. I stop her from pushing me again, holding onto her fist. I imagined she would use her strength against me and pull away one more time, but she doesn’t. Her silent crying takes over her body, and her shoulders shake. The pain I feel seeing her this way, knowing that I caused it leaves me frozen, but my arms move before I can think, and I hug her.

Her face aligns against my neck, and her sobs grow deeper. I open my mouth to say something, to apologize for everything I’ve caused her, but the words stick in my throat, and a voice in my head tells me that even if I tell her how sorry I am, nothing changes what I did. I hurt her, regardless. Apologies, unfortunately, don’t help much in this case.

“I’m sorry.” I say, contradicting all my thoughts. Even knowing that words don’t help at all, I say again: “I’m really sorry. Forgive me, Y/N.” I plead, closing my eyes. I feel her arms wrap around my body, bringing me a pleasure I can't even describe. How long has it been since I felt that excitement from just a hug?

“Stop apologizing.” She asks, pulling away from me. In the place of her warm body, only coldness remains in mine, with her distance. “Why did you kiss him? Why did you say all those things to me and then kissed him?”

“Because I needed to.” I clarify. Y/N opens her mouth to say something, perhaps to curse me again, but I’m quicker. “It’s over. We are nothing more than strangers now."

“How come?”

“That was the last time we were together, after almost five years. After everything, I needed this ending. I realized he no longer fits me.” I say, and not feeling the sadness I felt before, just imagining such a situation, brings me hope. Hope that I won’t have to suffer for Namjoon anymore. That I won’t have to feel anguish and pain over him.

“I don’t... I don’t know what to say.” Y/N shrugs, wiping her wet, swollen face. “But I don’t take back what I said. You really are a bastard.”

“I know.” I agree, unable to deny any of her statements. “And I also know that I hurt you, but I want to fix what I did. I want to fix all the shit I made you go through.”

“I don’t want anything from you.” She presses her lips together; those red lips I love so much, that for a second, I get lost in thought. I miss kissing her. Talking to her. Observing the little wrinkle at the corner of her right eye, every time she laughs. Not when she smiles, but when she giggles heartily. I never thought this could happen so quickly, even after Namjoon, but my heart leaps just thinking about her. Thinking about our kisses.

“Y/N, I can finally fix what I did wrong. That day I was so confused. I told you I didn't want something serious, but I did. I was scared; I just didn't want to get hurt again.” I confess to her, recalling the memories of that morning, when I turned my back on her because I couldn't bear to look into her eyes, as she left my apartment.

“Do you really think I'm going to believe all of this? After everything you've done to me? You're being a damn liar, a manipulative jerk." she grunts; I can see the anger in her eyes, the disbelief radiating from her.

“Y/N, I needed that. To finally know what I wanted.”

“You needed a kiss? You're a joke. Seriously.”

“Believe me.” I plead, my voice a whisper. I lean closer to her, holding her face in my hands. Her cheeks are flushed from crying, from the turmoil of emotions. “I want you.”

“I won’t be your consolation prize.” She whispers back, furrowing her brows. Y/N seems so determined and strong, that it's like all my words means nothing to her.

“You’re not.”

“I won’t be your second option.” She repeats, grunting at me.

“You’re none of that.” I repeat, irritated that she even thinks that way. She tucks her hair behind her ear and looks away, as if she could be saved by someone amid the darkness of the neighborhood. When she finds no one else, she sighs, biting her lips hard.

"I wish you had said all of this earlier. How can I believe anything you say now?" she asks, and unfortunately, I have no answer for that question.

"I'm sorry again," I beg, defeated. "Y/N, can I take you home? Can we talk about this somewhere else?" I ask, a bit hesitant. I want her to understand that even though I made many mistakes, I'm willing to do anything to show her how important she is to me. Y/N shakes her head, however, breaking all my hopes.

"I can't be near you. Every time I'm close, I end up losing control." She says, and I completely understand what she means. Whenever we're alone, I feel an energy between us that draws us together like an invisible magnet. I smile, agreeing with her.

"I can't control myself when I'm with you, either," I respond earnestly, and her previously sad face lights up with embarrassment.

"Jungkook, stop," she pleads, almost through clenched teeth. Her cheeks are flushed now, thanks to my words.

"I'm telling the truth. Deal with it."

"I really need to go," she changes the subject, shaking her head. Then she sighs, looking at her fingers. "I... I’ll call a taxi." She turns her back to me, before I can react.

"What? What do you mean?" I follow her again, as she walks back to Yoongi's house. Y/N looks at me, as if mentally questioning what I'm doing so close to her, but I don't care.

"Jungkook, go back to your party," she commands, walking faster.

"I'm not letting you take a taxi home at this hour. Forget it." I shrug, annoyed. She may not want to listen to me or look at my face, but nothing will convince me to let her go with a stranger in the middle of the night.

"What does it have to do with you?" she questions without looking at me, and I have to walk faster to get in front of her again. Her irritated, mocking, and sarcastic expression fades, when I look her in the eyes.

"Stop talking like that. Do you really think I don't care about you?"

"You are a—"

"I’m a jerk. I know. I just asked if you really think I don't care about you. Do you really think I don’t want what’s best for you?"

"I don’t know," she replies, shrugging. "After tonight, I can't think about anything else," she argues, furrowing her brows. I step closer to her, taking a short step forward. Her perfume, different from Namjoon's, completely captivates me. It's as if everything about her is designed to drive me crazy.

"Y/N, let me take you. My car is over there, across the street," I whisper, locking my gaze with hers, noticing how her pupils dilate when she accidentally glances at my mouth.

"I don’t know," she repeats, as if she’s fighting something internally.

"I'll take you. We don’t have to say a word to each other. You get in the car and then get out when we reach your place," I conclude, hopeful. She pauses for a moment and sighs, looking at her fingers again. It seems she's contemplating my offer for a few seconds, still uncertain.

"Okay," she says softly, as if afraid of her own decision. Her voice, once filled with anger, now sounds neutral. If I could choose any superpower right now, it would definitely be the ability to read her mind.

I clear my throat, nodding, and slowly step back from her, wary that any sudden movement might make her change her mind. My car isn’t too far away, so we walk in silence for just a minute. Yoongi's house still seems lively, with people coming and going through the main gate. I take one last look at the place, mentally thanking myself for leaving the car key in my pocket, as I glance at Y/N without saying a word. She remains silent the whole time, while I quickly open her door and then mine. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice how she pulls on her seatbelt and looks at me for a moment, as if she’s examining me.

Even under her gaze, I don’t utter a single word. My whole body feels tense, alive, electric. I dare to contemplate her, the same way she does with me, taking in her from head to toe, from her Converse sneakers to her dress that’s much larger than her body, with a small slit opening on her left leg that, for God’s sake, reveals her smooth, soft skin –the same skin I had touched and taken everything from, just days ago. I clear my throat and start the car, reluctant to leave my spot.

A sudden rain starts to wet the windshield, and I thank the universe for, even if not intentionally, give me more time with this. The entire drive is a torture and, at the same time, a source of pleasure. I keep thinking to myself that if I can’t convince her, this might be one of the last times I ever see her before I go to Seoul. I savor everything about her: her scent, her presence, her calmness amidst so many storms, trying to imprint all these details in my mind. How did I get to this point? How could I be so confused about Namjoon when I’m clearly in love with her? Obsessed with everything she does?

When her house comes into view, I swallow hard, feeling my mouth dry. I want to say so many things, yet no words seem right. I look at her face, and almost immediately, she looks at me too. We both sit in silence, listening the rain and lost in thought. Then she smiles shyly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Thank you for bringing me," she says, looking down. "And I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have cursed at you. I shouldn’t have said all those things. I... Jungkook, I wanted to see you hurt, just like I felt, but I had no right. I was wrong for that. I want you to be happy. I want you to be loved, no matter who you’re with." She confess, and her eyes crinkle the way only hers do, calm and serene. I open my mouth to say something, to affirm she had every right over me, but she gets out of the car before I can tell her everything. "Goodbye." She whispers with a weak smile, giving me her back and entering before the rain makes her wetter.

I stay there for a moment, frozen, breathing heavily. I look at the door of her house, and then at my mother’s, thinking that, unlike my father, I’ve always considered myself brave. I’ve always seen myself as a confident person. With everything that has happened in my life, I have never taken a step back, and I have never let fear paralyze me or hold me back from anything. I get out my car hesitantly, but I don’t stop. I walk quickly to the short steps, and ring the doorbell, freezing with cold and the water. Y/N opens the door a second later, almost as if she was waiting for me on the other side. Her face illuminated by the yellow streetlight.

"Y/N, I don’t want you to leave my life," I declare breathlessly; my heart pounding so hard it feels like it’s about to jump out of my chest. "I have no right to say this and I don’t even deserve you to listen to me, but I want you to know that since the first time I saw you, at your bedroom window, everything about you caught my attention. The way you speak, the way you look at me, how you listen to everyone as if they all deserve your attention, how empathetic you are, and how simply good you are... I can’t stop thinking about you. I talk about you to my friends, to my mother. I miss you even when we haven’t seen each other for a short time... I don’t want this to end. Us. I don't want us to end." I laugh desperately, not even knowing what I am doing, filled with hope and moments of us together in my mind. I can literally feel my blood rushing through my body, pulsing strong like never before.

"Jungkook, you—" She tries to say, but I stop her by placing my hands on her cheeks. I lean in so close I can feel her breath on my face.

"I know I’m an idiot, but I’m so damn in love with you that I deserve a second chance, just to show you that I’m worthy of you, that I can make every day, from now on, the best day of your life." I whisper, gazing into her eyes. They widen in shock and surprise. Tears form in them, and one falls onto my thumb, on the apple of her cheek.

"I’m in love with you too," she confesses in a whisper, and I have to lean in closer to assure myself that I’m not dreaming. She smiles, as if she senses my confusion. "I’m in love with you too," she confirms, just for my ears.

And I can’t hold back any longer. I can’t anymore. It's when I kiss her, so intensely and suddenly, that it takes her a few seconds to respond. Her soft lips form a sweet smile against mine, and I can't help but chuckle too, happy, content, all at once. She places her hands on my face, tenderly, and then winks at me. Her eyelashes brushing against the tops of her cheeks because of the rain.

"Come in, I don't want you to get sick from the cold," she invites me, pulling me in. Then she kisses me one more time.

Thank God for this fucking rain.

Ask for a TAGLIST in the comments

@ane102 @joonwater @ttipa @kookienooki @missbangtangirl @kelsyx33 @minimoninini @myjungkookthighs @elivision

[venusvxen]

The Outer Man Cannot Desire For He Does Not Exist

This may sound a bit hypocritical given what my last post was BUT. Hear me out!

This is not a take that should be taken too serious. It either resonates with you or doesn’t but this is a way of thinking that soothes me and relieves my anxiety.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how Edward and Neville go on about how all desire comes from within and have been taking that literally. Seriously.

What I found is that I can be going through very trying horrible circumstances on the outside but still be content and giddy and warm and bubbly on the inside which really does lead me to co-sign this statement 100% but that’s not the point of this post.

Because of this “all desire comes from within” mantra… It’s made me think about why I fall out of states. Why do I happen to feel anxious and feel wanting and desire inside despite feeling all those beautiful lovely emotions from my new state that I’ve accepted as true?

It’s because the inner man is acting as the outer man and seeing life through the outer man to desire.

If all desire comes from inside that means that all our thoughts, all our anxieties, all our stresses, ALL of it simply comes from what our inner man is experiencing inside.

If i feel anxious about not getting my desire, it’s not my outer man talking, but instead it’s my inner man leaving the state of the wish fulfilled and seeing life through the eyes of the unfulfilled outer man. That saying “the eyes are the window to the soul” kinda rings true because I’ve been taking this saying very literally and telling myself that our senses are really just our Inner Man’s way of gouging what’s happening in the world in a bit. He has the freedom to disregard them (unlike the man of the senses [outer man]) and create something new, but he ( IM) still knows what’s happening outside. Which is why (to me) when we think unlovely fearful thoughts, it’s really our inner self slipping into a state because again, thoughts come from states, and states all are occupied by THE INNER MAN.

After this revelation it led me to think about the role of the outer self and what I came to realize is that the outer self is nothing more than a mere shell. It cannot desire, it cannot create, it can’t even create its own thoughts because that’s a product of the state the man inside has slipped into. The human self is nothing more than a minion. It has no mind of its own. No original thoughts of its own. The tears we cry are a product of a state we fell into. The elation we feel when we think of something is because of a state we fell into. But none of that is being created from the human self. The human self is a slave in a sense a sense. But a slave to who? Why to imagination.

This line of thinking while very esoteric has allowed me to feel very at peace. Because unlike before when I felt like I was at odds with my “ego” and trying to get it on board, I now realize that acknowledging/identifying with lack is caused by.. the same person that created my desire. It’s not the outer man looking around and saying “i don’t have this where is my manifestation ”. it’s the inner man looking outside through its human lenses and deciding to fall out of a lovely state and into an unlovely one.

It reminds me that there is only one.

And so when I get anxiety at times about my desires and feeling like it’ll never show up, i soothe myself by reminding myself that “the outer man doesn’t even desire this… only the inner man does”. Because it’s true. Desire comes from the inside. The outer man cannot desire anything because it’s a shell. Almost like a turtle shell except the skin is softer and it can talk and move. And so if i remind myself that the only place where I truly want my desire is within, I’m able to maintain that state longer.

If the inner man is the only one that desires because the outer self if a shell of the one inside, then i can fully be content with only having my desire inside which is something i STRUGGLED with before omg!!! Because if the inner man is the only one who is conscious and truly alive then all i have to do to maintain this happiness is keep my focus on my desire and not on what’s happening outside? Because external confirmation does not matter, because the outer man does not have thoughts of its own or wishes of its own.

The outer man doesn’t WANT anything. It can’t want anything. it’s a SHADOW.

This isn’t to say that I don’t occasionally fall out of a state from time to time. No, I do. But i’m able to maintain states longer because I remind myself that validation from a turtle shell means nothing and most importantly, the only one who is making me believe that I need validation from the outside is myself.

Occasionally I’ll see something that gives me anxiety or look around to others getting their things sooner than me and feel anxious, but, i remind myself of the fact that the goal is to be happy within.

I should not look to my human self who is a slave to something bigger than himself for confirmation on if I’m doing it right. For me, when i really feel the wish fulfilled I get this insane rush of euphoria and smile so hard my cheeks hurt.. I can’t even recreate the smile by myself if I try to. I remind myself that THAT insane rush of happiness that I can’t even recreate if i try to (without being in the state) is confirmation enough. Not the 3D. Because one comes from within and is God smiling, and God being happy, whereas the other is nothing more than an effect of a cause.

In short this line of reasoning if you chew upon it enough allows you to be comfortable only (for now) having your desire in the 4D and being comfortable with it because the 3D self cannot desire anything and the only way to perceive lack is if your inner man leaves the state of the wish fulfilled and chooses to occupy a state of lack. It’s never been about the outer man. Because the inner man can be inside you fulfilled and happy even despite your outside world and because the outer man is a shell with no thoughts or opinions of its own it can’t say anything about it. Choose to keep the inside man in the state of the WF and remind yourself that that’s the only part of ur psyche that even desires.

And also, if the human self is apart of the 3D and I catch myself smiling a lot while doing my imaginal acts, doesn’t that mean that there IS movement happening?

Food for thought. Anyways this post was long, idk if it made sense but oh well

[yuri-is-online]

Hi Yuri! Have you ever considered the idea of there being an alternate version of the twst boys in Yuu’s world? Since we have no clue if it’s just another planet or an entirely separate universe, it’s theoretically possible. Poor Yuu would think they are going crazy seeing a familiar face or hearing a familiar voice in another world. Perhaps it is even painful to the point Yuu tries to avoid interacting with the boy in question. - 🦐

(Also, I am well aware of how often I’ve been sharing these thoughts. If they’re annoying you or you don’t feel up to it, I don’t want you to feel pressured to respond or anything. I’m just spitballing and posting before I forget. 👉👈)

OH BOY DO I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS ON THIS!!!!! (first and foremost being that you are very much not annoying <3)

An alt version of a twst boy in Yuu's world is just so yummy. There's so much angst potential depending on what the relationship is/was. Did their boy die in some horrible accident? Is he waiting for them, anxious and terrified about where Yuu went? Does this imply that twst also has a version of Yuu somewhere out there in the world? Questions questions. I did sort of write about this idea in the tags of this yan version of the soulbound au, wherein a cursed Yuu driven insane by their curse kills their soulmate before being isekaid to Twisted Wonderland and finding a different version of him, horrified with the realization that they could kill him again... but I want to cook up some dynamics for what the dorm leaders/overblot boys could be up to in Yuu's world first sooo...

I had a hard time thinking about Riddle until I remembered he's a horse girl and cast Yuu in the role of bad boy ranch hand whose dad's got a job at the barn so they're forced to help take care of the horses and warn all the would be YA protags about the "special horse" who doesn't take orders from just anyone. Not that Riddle is the protagonist... he's more the well established rich petty bitch who looks down on the new girls and especially on you because you're never taking care of his horse in accordance with all his stupid rules. And in stereotypical horse movie fashion Riddle has a massive not so secret crush on bad boy ranch hand Yuu who just doesn't get why he keeps trying to talk to them.

There isn't much royalty left in the world, but imagine Leona as the son of some rich business magnate whose older brother got the company and left him with "nothing." Maybe Yuu works at a liquor store part time and Leona comes in to pick stuff up every once in a while. You wouldn't call him a friend, but you guys shoot the shit enough that you have a general feel for each other to the point he joins you on your breaks to keep up the talk and play chess.

I love the idea of student president council Azul. He's made for that trope. Born for it, he'd be such a terror with Jade as his VP and Floyd as well. Floyd. I can't see him really being a part of the student council but I had this idea the other day based off this instagram post I saw about this mom who sews right? Her daughter was running for class president and she made these bracelets with little shrimp on them and attached them to cards that said "Keep it shrimple! Vote for (kid's name)!" And I was struck with this vision of Yuu doing that so like. Yuu running against Azul with that campaign slogan and he's tearing his hair out over it being so popular because people like memes (the original idea had Floyd running as Yuu's vp but they both dropped out at the last minute because neither him or Yuu wanted to do the actual work lol.) I also like student council president Azul and delinquent Yuu... but that's because of Tsuredure Children ha

Kalim and Jamil are hard... but I think the same set up of rich businessman's kid and his bodyguard in training still fits. How Yuu meets them is beyond me, but if you were friends with either of them could you imagine how painful seeing the same tragedy play out in this new world would be? Jamil doomed to always be a servant and Kalim doomed to be betrayed by his best friend... that would be so painful for someone who cared deeply about either of them I could see it motivating Yuu to try and resolve things for twst Jamil and Kalim that much harder.

Ok so hear me out... Vil still wants to be an actor in your world but he doesn't have the connections to his dad and is working as a pharm tech with Yuu at your local drugstore while going to school and hunting for gigs. He mentions being interested in cosmetics and magical pharmacology in game... and he also mentions knowing nothing about his mom so like. Your world Vil ended up with his mom instead of his dad and you get to see him on the cusp of his big break as one of his number one supporters from the very start, only to get isekaid to a world where you get to see what things could have looked like. It's strange how similar and yet not both versions of Vil are...

Idia is the guy who comes in to buy snacks at your convenience store during the night shift who you start talking to when you notice him buying a game time card for something you also play. You're stupid awkward around each other at first, but it's nice to finally have someone to talk about your niche interest with once you've passed each other's sniff tests. You don't actually know him know him though... so getting sent to another world where there's another version of him makes you worried the more you learn about his backstory that maybe you should have been there for your Idia more. Is he doing ok back home? Did he think of you as a friend? You hope he isn't blaming himself for any of this...

Malleus is an old money trust fund baby whose family was absolutely royalty at some point and is still overly attached to it. He likes old buildings, cemeteries, long walks in the fog, you know all those good goth things. He's tall and socially awkward and so grateful for you, his first and best friend who he met one moonlight night he swore was a dream in his favorite abandoned building who spoke at length with him about all sorts of things he liked. So you know. More or less the same. Just without the world ending powers... I think this is another one that would be quite sad. Which version of Malleus needs Yuu more? Which one is the real one? I'd hate the idea of him being destined to always be lonely and lose the ones he loves.

As for Yuu avoiding them... I could see that. It would feel weird seeing someone you love so much only for it not to be them at all. I know that the Lovebrush Chronicles kiiiiind of deals with this??? I wish I had the patience to play through it has an appealing glasses wearing ro but it's a mobile otome :/ but still. It's a concept I promise I am totally normal about.

[sorrowfulrosebud]

Not too sure if you're bored of these yet but have another ask.

Reader's work. Do they work at home or not? If they don't, what's the day like for hybrid Bakugou who's stuck home alone? If they do, how do they keep Baku busy every now and then while they work? Cause we all know sometimes we have to sadly get rid of distractions to get some work done, even if it's one ya want~

Finally in a writing mood!!!! Sorry for the wait my angel, thank you for your patience!!

For reader’s work, I imagine you to have a job in law (bc I do) since reader is so passionate about equality for hybrids. You spend a fair bit of time in the office, but you’re allowed to go home frequently enough to make sure Katsuki is okay.

It’s horrible leaving him by himself for long hours of the day. Your mornings usually consist of you hunting down your shoes since Katsuki hides them from you, and they often have bite marks from his mauling. You then have to encourage him to eat something before you go, because you know he’d probably nap too much or forget to eat out of anxiety rebelliousness.

Soooooo, what do you do with a pouty pup who gets anxious when you work? You give him as many toys as possible! Since living with you, you have given him so many toys that he is often spoiled for choice. Squeaky chickens, rope toys, balls, the whole works. He could spend many an hour chewing on them and gnawing holes in them.

Then of course, you have the TV. Katsuki didn’t understand it at first, barking and snarling viciously at the screen when he first settled in. But now he races to grab the remote before you can, chuffing victoriously when he clicks to a nature documentary. You can only roll your eyes playfully as he settles on the couch whilst you make his favourite breakfast of sausage and bacon butties.

He sits for hours watching the soothing waves of the ocean and its inhabitants, of lush rainforests and harsh deserts. You often hear him growl at the TV when smaller prey animals are on the screen, and you can practically feel his drool drip onto the couch. You serve him his breakfast with a gentle rub between the ears, then get ready and fight him for your shoes.

With a final goodbye kiss, your hybrid is left to his own devices. You taught him your phone number in case he needed it, but he much preferred when you called him. So he sits and waits for you to come back. He watches TV for a while, potters around the house and naps. For lunch he waits for your phone call, sitting in almost silence bar a few grunts or growls when you ask him questions. He’ll then potter to the fridge and heat up the food you left him.

You had been teaching him to cook. He was quite the natural, but he was still learning and you didn’t quite trust him to cook by himself just yet. He eats lunch, naps more and plays with his squeaky toy. If he’s lucky, FatGum video calls him with his best friend Kirishima. The two puppy-boys stare at each other as they communicate.

It was abysmal, the guilt that rotted in your tummy after leaving him alone for so long. That’s when you had the most amazing idea ever. So, you changed up your routine. Along your journey to work, you passed by FatGum’s farm.

Katsuki waited for you on the couch as you finished getting ready for work. You wandered into the living room, yet again tutting at the state of your backup shoes that Katsuki had mauled. He smirked indignantly. You shook your head.

“Kats, go get your shoes. You’re coming with me today, I have a surprise!” You told him, grabbing your jacket. Katsuki stared at you.

He would never admit the thump in his heart. Was he bad? Were you sick of him?? Were you getting rid of him?!

“Well, go on. I have to be at work soon, so hurry,” you ushered him gently. Katsuki swallowed as he stared at you. You caught on almost immediately as your gaze softened.

“I promise you Kats, it’s a really nice surprise. I’ve not lied to you before, have I? Go on, I’ll wait for you,” you promised him softly, rubbing his sandy ears.

Katsuki stood up shakily, walking to his room. He was sure you’re going to get rid of him. He prays that you would do good on your promise to love him forever. He slowly makes his way downstairs, you smiling at him gently as you held out his jacket. You fixed his collar for him, the silver tag with his name and address soothing his nerves.

You’d never get rid of him if you’re making him wear his collar.

Katsuki followed you to the car, sitting in front as he puts on his seatbelt. After doing the same, you pet his ears proudly.

“My good boy, such a good boy,” you coo. Katsuki’s tail swayed against his will, causing him to pout as you giggled. You drove the familiar way to work, but caused him to blink at the destination you stopped at.

FatGum’s farm.

You get out the car, opening his door and walked to the door. An excited series of barks akin to gunshots sounded off as a happy redhead bounced in the window. FatGum opened the door with a laugh as a streak of red bashed into Katsuki, sniffing and chuffing his best friend.

Katsuki couldn’t help his wagging tail as he sniffed his friend back, growling a little when he was caught smiling.

“I feel so bad leaving you alone during the day. So, whilst I’m at work, FatGum said you’re more than welcome to spend the day here! You’ll be helping him of course, with some work here and there but it won’t be difficult,” you explain happily.

Katsuki stared at you with wide eyes, Kiri clinging to him happily. He walked to you slowly, before resting his forehead against yours with a gentle bump. His carmine eyes were soft as they looked at you through blonde eyelashes. You felt his gratitude as you gave him a hug and bid him farewell, leaving him to play with his best friend.

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 4 . Musings

a/n: double update in celebration of something I can't say out loud <333

tags: Hidden Injuries, Observant On

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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Navigation Masterlist prev . next

“You look anxious what’s the matter?”

“Cale-sunbae, the two hooded people over there are elves. I fear that Raon-nim might get discovered.”

They are currently in an inn near the Ten Finger Mountains.

Cale could immediately tell that this trip was gonna be a headache. Why else would elves go down to where humans are if it doesn’t entail a headache?

“Ignore them, act as if you don’t notice them or their gaze.”

Ignoring the elves and making Raon spin in a circle seems to work somehow. Well, he got confronted by the elf but they left him alone for the most part even if they acted weird.

The Henituse’s eldest son just hoped that would be the case until he got the Fire of Destruction and got out of this place.

Safe to say that future Cale is definitely going to curse his past self for jinxing it…

Meanwhile, while Raon and Cale were busy obtaining the ancient power, _____ was left with the rest of the group in the inn.

With nothing else to do, Mary and _____ are just enjoying their time sightseeing while casually chatting.

“This is my first time seeing such scenery. I’m thankful to the young master-nim.”

Mary’s voice may sound like a GPS but _____ could tell that they were grateful to Cale Henitue. How could they not when they feel the same way?

“What about you _____-nim? Do you love nature too? Maybe you’ve been to even more places with beautiful views.”

The question made the healer look far away as if reminiscing something. For a moment Mary thought they were looking back at all the places they'd been to. However, the sadness in their eyes told her otherwise.

“Hmm, well not really Mary-nim. You and I are more similar than you think. I know it's weird considering that I’ve been living above ground compared to you. But this is also the first time I have been allowed to appreciate such sights.”

The necromancer wanted to ask questions but did not after seeing such a serene expression on the healer’s face. The previous sadness in their eyes has been replaced by something Mary can only describe as contentment.

They chatted for a few more minutes before the kittens called _____ so they could play.

While playing, Cale came back and announced the change in their plans. They are now going to help the elves because they are being attacked by Arm.

_____ never had another encounter with Arm after the plaza incident but knows the details as to what they’ve done. They understand to an extent just how horrible of an organization they are.

Everything went smoothly for the most part. Well except for the part where Cale bled and fainted but _____ could tell that the man was fine thanks to his ancient power.

They just felt sorry that they couldn't do anything about his hunger.

_____ did their best to aid the young master’s regeneration powers to speed up his healing powers. However, they could do nothing about the consequences of using such volatile power.

Nonetheless, even if _____ knew about Cale's condition, others did not. And unfortunately, the healer couldn’t say otherwise. 

It was because they figured that it would be more beneficial for Cale if the elves thought that he made a great sacrifice to help them. That was why the healer opted to keep their mouth shut.

That and the healer were low-key scared at how vicious the group looked.

_____ was aware that the group was a bit vicious, they were all experts after all. But seeing it firsthand really intimidated them.

So to not show their feelings, the healer opted to help the injured elves recover. Something they did because of their sense of responsibility as a healer, definitely not because they have people-pleasing tendencies.

Naturally, their number one patient was the young master. _____ always makes sure that Cale is fine first before leaving to aid others. 

The healer was mostly alone in this endeavor for the others opted to stay but Cale’s side. To which _____ completely understands. Still, On always check in on them. Something that _____ found cute and endearing so they made sure to always assure the silver kitten that they aren’t overdoing it.

For that reason, on the one day _____ could tell the wounds of the people they were healing were catching up to them they still made sure to assure the child. Act as if nothing was amiss. That morning they tended to Cale as usual before excusing themself to go rest, reasoning that they felt more lethargic than usual.

It wasn't just for the sake of appeasing the child. It was also because Cale was already unconscious. It'll be too much of a liability if another one becomes sick.

What _____ failed to consider is the fact that On was super observant.

The others may not have noticed it as their attention was on Cale, but On noticed how the healer’s hands seemed to be shaking a bit when they checked on Cale. Or how they had to hold on to a wall to stop themself from limping.

On noticed it all.

A few minutes after _____ excused themself, the kitten told the group she was going on a stroll. 

It’s not like On lied, she just didn’t say that the destination of her stroll would be _____’s room.

When On arrives inside the room the first they see is an unconscious _____. At a distance, it looks like they were just sleeping. However, upon closer inspection On could see how they were struggling to breathe. The poor healer was almost wheezing.

On might not admit to it later but the sight scared her.

It reminded her too much of when they were on the run from the Cat Tribe.

During one of the days they were trying to escape, her brother became sick. They had nothing on them except for the few things they managed to snag before running away and the clothes on their back.

They certainly did not have the resources to cure Hong.

Luckily the red kitten managed to get past it. But still, that experience left a scar on his older sister.

And right now On felt as though she was relieving that experience but this time with _____.

“_____? _____?”

Even after the kitten lightly shook them they still wouldn’t wake up. So she opted for the next best thing, which was lifting their sleeves.

Underneath their pristine white sleeve was a bandage tainted with blood.

The sight shocks On. The wounds didn’t look too bad as only little blood seeped through the bandage. Nonetheless, the mere fact that _____ is wounded was shocking.

Because On could tell that it was most likely a side effect of their healing abilities.

There was no way they got injured. Everyone made sure that the healer was far away from fighting and made them focus on support.

Another possibility is them being bullied by the elves.

However, why would the elves do that to one of their benefactors? It just doesn't make sense.

So the only possibility left in On’s mind was _____’s mysterious healing powers.

“I am so gonna tattle to Cale when he wakes up.”

On pawed _____’s face for a bit before helping them get more comfortable. She essentially played nurse. Cleaning their wounds, changing the bandage, and ensuring they don't develop a fever.

She did all that while trying not to cry.

Not that anyone would know as she has no plans of telling anyone until her guardian wakes up.

[aaronhotchnersworld]

Forever and Always

Aaron Hotchner x bau wife reader

summary: Aaron helps reader during a rough case

——

“the unsub killed 4 teenage girls and has been dumping them at random locations so-” Derek began to say before being cut off by Aaron’s phone ringing.

A few seconds go by before Aaron speak, “they found another body, teenage girl. let’s go.”

We’ve been here, in florida, for two weeks attempting to catch this unsub. The unsub had been kidnapping teenage girls, killing them and dumping their bodies in random areas. It’s been extremely draining, especially for you.

Everyone is stressed, you and Aaron had a disagreement about the case yesterday which ended in an argument and now you aren’t even speaking to each other.

You normally ride in the suv with Aaron, but you decided to ride in the other one.

You hop in an SUV with Spencer, David, and JJ. You sit in the back and lean your head against the window.

“you okay y/n?” JJ asks you.

“yeah i’m just- this unsub is killing these poor girls so brutally and Aaron and I aren’t even speaking,” you sigh.

“I know it’s tough. Aaron is just frustrated, we all are. I’m sure you guys will be okay once we finish this case.”

“yeah you’re right this is just so hard.”

“I know, i’m sorry. let me know if you need anything y/n,” she says softly.

“thank you JJ.”

“of course y/n.”

As you all pull into the parking lot of the next crime scene, the florida weather seemed to be picking up resulting in the body of the teenage girl smelling horrible.

Aaron and David walk over towards the sheriff, Spencer and JJ walk into the abandoned building towards the body to look for any clues, while Derek and Emily begin searching around the building for anything, which just leaves you.

You decide to walk inside the old abandoned building, following Spencer and JJ but a police officer comes up to you and begins talking.

She behinds spitting out facts about the poor teenage girl, her age, her features, how she was killed.

The anxious feeling continued to rise as she spoke.

You went over to the body after she was done speaking. As you looked at the poor teenage girl, it all became too much and you felt like you were going to throw up and you couldn’t breathe.

You turn around and exit the building, the summer heat only making you feel worse.

You walk to the back of the building and feel slightly relieved that no one else is back here.

You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes as you try your best to breathe but you can’t.

You can feel yourself begin to shake and you can’t control it. You feel a hand on your back which makes you jump.

“it’s okay it’s just me.”

Aaron.

“I- I can’t- br- breath.”

He grabs your hand softly and guides you towards the bench, making you sit down.

He kneels down in front of you.

“look at me sweetheart.”

You do as he says.

“what- what’s happ- happening,” you choke out.

“you’re having a panic attack, it’s okay you’re okay. follow my breathing,” he tells you softly as he strokes your hand.

“Aaron- I- I can’t.”

“yes you can. I know you can. Deep breath in and deep breath out. I’ll do it with you okay?”

You just nod your head, unable to make a full sentence.

“that’s good, you’re doing so good y/n,” he says as he stands up and sits next to you.

“what’s going on y/n?”

You ignore his question and say something else, “i’m sorry I snapped at you yesterday, I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry.”

You feel the tears well up in your eyes again and Aaron wraps his arms around you and pulls you in for a hug.

He rubs your back softly, “it’s okay. I could tell this case is taking a toll on you, i’m not mad at you.”

You don’t pull away from his embrace, wanting it to last forever.

“what’s going on y/n?”

“I’ve been useless this entire case. I can’t do anything right and I yelled at you last night and these poor girls are getting killed and I can’t even help find the guy who’s doing it,” you choke out.

“That is so far from the truth y/n. You are not useless, none of us have found anything big yet. Listen to me sweetheart, we’re all having a hard time with this case but I can tell you are having the hardest time. I notice how you’ve been tossing and turning at night, unable to fall asleep. I think you just need to get some rest and stop being so hard on yourself. You have done nothing wrong and you have never been useless,” he says softly.

“I love you Aaron.”

“I love you y/n,” he says as he places a kiss on the top of your head.

“Are you ready to go back yet sweetheart?”

You let out a sigh, “can we just stay here for a little longer please?”

“of course we can,” he says softly as he continues to rub your back.

You both sit in silence before you decide to speak.

“How did you know I was back here Aar?”

“I saw you walk out the front, I could tell something was wrong by the look on your face. I called your name but you didn’t hear me.”

“I didn’t think anyone saw me,” you say honestly.

“David and I both saw, after I called your name and you didn’t answer, I told him I was coming to check on you.”

“Thank you Aaron.”

“i’ll always be here for you honey.”

You give him a kiss on the lips.

“Are you ready to go back yet?”

“I think so,” you say softly.

You both stand up and make your way back to the front of the building. The team had just finished up and were ready to go back to the police station.

——

It was around midnight and you were all just arriving at the hotel for the night, once again, no where further in the case.

Aaron told everyone to meet back up in the lobby at 10am.

As you and Aaron enter your hotel room, you feel even worse then you did this morning and you know Aaron notices.

“let’s get ready for bed sweetheart.”

You just nod and you both make your way to the bathroom.

“I’m gonna take a shower, do you wanna get one too honey?”

“yes”

He undresses himself and you do the same, both entering the shower.

You both are done within 20 minutes, Aaron’s exits first and grabs himself and you a towel.

He leaves the bathroom to grab his clothes and walks back in with his pajamas on. He had grabbed your pajamas for you, a pair of underwear, pajama shorts and one of his t-shirts.

You give him a smile as he hands them to you.

Aaron begins brushing his teeth while you change and you join soon after.

After you both are finished, you exit the bathroom and you make your way to your bag, grabbing your brush and brushing your hair.

Aaron sits on the end of the bed and pats the spot next to him, “come here sweetheart, let’s talk.”

You let out a sigh and walk over to sit next to Aaron.

“please talk to me y/n/n”

“It’s just all too much sometimes. These poor girls are being murdered for no reason and we can’t find the guy. I don’t understand how people can be so evil,” you say softly as tears well up in your eyes.

He rubs your thigh softly before speaking, “I understand. We’re going to find the person responsible for this, I promise. There will always be bad people in this world but there will also always be good people in this world, good people like you and our team. I want you to come to me when it becomes too hard, please don’t hold it in, it only makes it worse.”

You look up into his eyes, not even knowing what to say.

“it’s okay to cry y/n,” he says softly and that’s all it takes.

Aaron wraps his arms around you as you begin sobbing.

“it’s okay I got you”

“I love you”

“I’ll protect you”

“shhh it’s okay”

These are all things he whispers to you as you sob in his arms.

After your crying subsides, Aaron speaks again, “i’ll always be here for you y/n, no matter what.”

“I love you Aar.”

“I love you,” he says as he kisses your head.

“Why don’t we try and get some rest?”

You both stand up and lay under the covers, your head on Aaron’s chest and his arms wrapped around you.

“get some sleep y/n,” he whispers to you as he rubs your back.

You fall asleep moments later in the loving hands of your husband, Aaron.