#I’ve been cooking this past week tbh

[heartkade]

there he goes

[graysnetwork]

REQUEST: @tessthesaltwife Umm. ..ok. Could you do one with Leon dancing with the reader? Maybe he's not too good at it and gets super embarrassed, but the reader loves it. (I tried sending this as an ask, but it wasn't going through.)

—

DANCING — Leon Kennedy X GN!Reader

I fixed my asks so thank u for lmk.

I loved this idea sm cuz I’ve been learning how to dance now that I’m getting invited to quinces again. Lmk if y’all would read an imagine where you take Leon to a quince as your plus one.

Notes— js know that i did not proofread any of this. Also you can imagine this w any Leon but I was thinking of re4 or re6 tbh.

Warnings: none that ik of.

Word count: 713

Summary: after watching some movies with you, Leon realizes you love dancing scenes in movies.

Leon had been on his well deserved break for about a week now, he was spending it on the couch or laying in bed while you gave him a massage. That’s he so terribly needed.

He really wanted to take you out, treat you to something that your deserved as week for taking care of him for the past week, but he was exhausted, you knew it, he knew it even though he wanted to ignore it.

He had bags under his eyes, his muscles were sore, and he was waking up at two am from a bad dream and then waking up again at one pm.

You forced him to stay there and rest, he needed it, but he insisted that he wanted to do something for you.

So you compromised, and instead of going out, you two ordered food, and sat back while watching some movies on the tv.

Even if Leon hated chick flicks and twilight, he loved seeing that smile on your face when your favorite part began, or when you’d laugh at the stupid jokes they made.

—

He soon learned that there was a pattern in a lot of the movies you guys watched together that night. Dancing.

There was so many dancing scenes.

Dancing inside of a quiet house, just swaying around with music playing in the background, dancing in the rain. Basically every possible “dancing scene” in movie fiction.

It stayed in his mind for a few days before he finally asked you when you two were watching another movie after dinner.

“You like these things don’t you sweetheart?” He asked randomly, you turned to him looking confused as to what he was talking about. “Hm?” You hummed back at him. “You like dancing scenes?” He asked but it sounded more like a statement.

“Oh, yeah I guess, they’re cute” you admitted, he smiled at the confession, and how you gave him the reason. “Why? Do you wanna dance” you asked now.

His eyes widened a bit and he gave you a light chuckle, truth be told Leon never learned how to dance, it wasn’t something he ever gained interest in when he was young, and then he never had time to learn.

“Yeah.. no” he said softly as to not sound rude, “why not?” You asked “cmon it’ll be fun!” You insisted and got up from the couch and grabbed a vinyl of your favorite song you would dance, clean, and cook to when it would play in the background of your home.

He smiled at you but he was still unsure, “nah sweetheart, I don’t think it’s a good idea” he told you, you ignored him and continued taking the vinyl out.

“Why not?” You asked again “I, I don’t know how to dance” he said behind you, you smiled, for some reason it was cute.

“That’s alright, I’ll teach you, I’ll go easy on you” you said turning back around as the song began playing.

“Here, place your hand right here” you said taking his hand and placing it on your hip and the other in your hand. He still looked embarrassed.

“That’s great, see your a natural!” You told him, Leon was so adorable when he was nervous, it was one of your favorite ways to see him, a bit shaky, but very flustered.

“Is this right?” He asked when you two began to take a few steps. You nodded and continued directing him where to take his next step.

“See your great lee” you told him looking back up/down at him, he smiled back at you. “Thanks for the encouragement baby” he said, sounding a bit sarcastic but you ignored it and gave him a kiss, which he was quick to make more passionate and place his other hand on your hip. So now you guys were just swaying.

And finally the rain began pouring down, and his mission he made for himself was complete.

Giving you all those possible “dancing scenes” in movie fiction. That’s you two watched.

[allthefujoshiunite]

Have you ever thought about red flag uke? Sure, it's easy to find red flag seme, but the uke.... Do you have any BL recs about red flag uke?

Also, can I ask BL recs that kinda remind you of Bokuto x Akashi from Haikyuu? Where one is oblivious, loveable, straight forward person and the other is quite, serious but always looking after the other?

Sorry for this random ask, thanks if you want to answer.....

Hi! It really is easier to find red flag seme (makes sense since the word means “to attack” or “to be on the offence”) but the way authors/ artists depict uke characters have been changing as well ~ I currently don’t have access to my computer, so I’ll just list the titles I have in mind and update if I have any additions next week (ish). Enjoy!

Research is serious business, you guys.

What people consider a “red flag” differs to be honest, some people draw the line at cheating while others may or may not excuse murder depending on the situation. Some want the character to be sweet to their partner but be toxic otherwise, while others want the relationship itself to be toxic. I don’t know which case you feel drawn to, so I’ll be going with my gut (again) lol

Checkmate (Tan): He’s manipulative! He’s petty! Everything you need in a toxic uke, Soohyun has it. And interestingly, Eunsung is not exactly put off by it. I was asked whether I know another title like Checkmate and I honestly don’t. I have reviewed it in the past (now the main story is completed and side stories are being released) so if you want more info, I suggest you check it out.

Wonna Do It? (Cho Sangduck): Another title I mentioned in the answe I linked above. Can be found in Lezhin’s library. This is a very short, unhinged story that I need continuation of immediately!

Liveta (muzi): I have briefly read this one and liked it, you might want to check it out on Lezhin.

Mad Place (Junah): Tbh I was very enthusiastic going into this series and read 30+ chapters but my interest fizzled out. The uke in this title is scheming something (I didn’t stick around long enough to find out) and you can consider him a tad manipulative. There’s crime and investigation and you might find it more intriguing than me! On Lezhin.

Pornographer + Pornographer Playback + Mood Indigo (Maki Marukido): All three are in Manga Planet’s (Futekiya) library. The main character Kijima is an author, and while Pornographer (Playback is the continuation) focuses on him and Haruhiko, Mood Indigo is Kijima becoming an author and his relationship with his editor. I suggest you read Pornographer first and then read Mood Indigo for better context! Kijima will frustrate you to the max skcjdnjc.

A Lotus Flower In the Mud (Tamekou): This is not just a red flag uke but a red flag all over fkfnfj. Be mindful of the tags before you go in!

The King of Home Cooking (Lee Hyun-joo): The uke in this is one of the most frustrating characters I’ve ever read, he’s so unlikable and remains that way until the very end and that’s kinda why I like this series xD It has a very interesting theme as well, highly suggested! Can be read on Tappytoon.

A s for titles similar to BokuAka. I have a previous list that would kind of fit what you’re looking for (except the first and the last one). Here’s another list with puppy seme x cool(-ish) uke types.

That’s all I have for now! Hope you like the recommendations.

[ana-cantskywalker]

mom!Steve headcannons

Some thoughts I’ve had on Steve + The Party. These might be out of character, or these might be like basic things that have been said a dozen times already, idk and idc.

Dustin: Anyone who says he isn’t Steve’s favorite is lying to themselves, he definitely says he ‘doesn’t have favorites’ but out of the rest of the Party Steve spends the most one on one time with Dustin, and generally makes a bit more of an effort to be the male figure in Dustin’s life that he doesn’t have. I like to think that Claudia Henderson eventually realizes what Steve is doing and basically adopts him, he eats dinner at the Henderson house at least twice a week.

Max: Steve is more protective over Max than the rest of the Party, especially between seasons 2-3 when Billy is still around, not in a showy or noticeable way because she would hate that, but in little ways. He drives her places so she doesn’t have ride with Billy, and he doesn’t ask questions when she needs a place to stay because she doesn’t feel safe at home. Eventually, even after Billy is gone, she is a regular occupant of the Harrington guest bedroom (it’s not like his parents are home enough to notice anyways) and Steve grows to see her like a little sister.

Lucas: He definitely drives Lucas to basketball practice, and practices with him, and goes to every game possible. He offers relationship advice when Lucas asks because he and Max are going through another one of their breakups because Lucas doesn’t have an older sibling to go to . (Granted, it’s terrible advice, but it’s well meant)

Mike: He and Mike act one hundred percent exasperated with each other 24/7, but there is fondness there. It takes a bit longer for him to warm up to Mike than the rest of the Party (partially because of his ties to Nancy and partially because Mike is a little jerk) but he grows to like him just as much as the rest of the kids. He teases Mike the most out of the rest of the party, especially about his relationship with El. This might be a bit of reach, but I also like to think Steve understands Mike in a way that the rest of the Party doesn’t, because he understands what it’s like to have a dad that cares more about appearances and his view of success than an actual relationship with his son, so he has a bit more patience with Mike than he would have otherwise. (From what little we know about Steve’s parents, I feel like he wouldn’t have the greatest of relationships with them)

Will: While Dustin might be his favorite, he has an especially soft spot for the youngest Byers. Even without The Horrors™, Steve can tell  Will is a softer soul, and treats him as such. He offers to drive Will to go see the Party because Joyce is so busy, and while he works at Scoops Ahoy, he definitely gets him free ice-cream more than the rest of the party, and Steve always lends him his cassette tapes. He also doesn’t tease Will as often/ the same way he does the rest of the party, sure he jokes around with him, but he is far gentler about it.

El: Like with Will, Steve has a softer spot for El. He meets her last, and she is a bit of an enigma to him at first, but once he gets past the weirdness of it all he grows rather attached to her. He is a little gentler with her, maybe not as gentle as with will, but he’s still careful. Outside of Mike and Hop, he is one of the best at seeing her as a person and not just her powers, and is always there with firm looks and warning words when the Party (sans Mike) forgets to do so. Sometimes he stays at the cabin with her when Hop has work so she isn’t alone, and tries to introduce to more pop-culture than just what he calls ‘nerd things’, he also tries to make sure that when he’s there she gets better food than just tv-dinners, even though he isn't the best cook. He teaches her how to style her hair as it comes in, and he calls her ‘mini-hopper’ because it makes her giggle.

I just feel like his relationship with the kids isn’t expanded upon enough in the show tbh.

[v8nom]

I remember watching a video where Dahyun said “the members always notice when I’ve lost weight” probably because she’s already so small,, could I request something where she’s losing weight rapidly, probably from an ED, and misamo start to notice and worry? No worries if this isn’t up your alley!

Yes! and anon, today is your lucky day because I have not written this much in one sitting in many weeks. tbh thank you for the motivation.

—TW— disordered eating

--

“Hey, Momo?”

Sana’s worried tone causes Momo’s head to snap up, eyes finding the other woman standing in her doorframe, looking uncharacteristically nervous. 

“Yeah, what’s up?” Momo sits up, patting the bed next to her.

Sana accepts the silent request, closing the door behind her before slumping down next to Momo. Her fingers rub at one another as she stares at them for a long moment. 

Momo’s own worry grows as the silence lingers, spinning up possibilities as she waits. It’s broken by Sana blurting out, “I’m worried about Dahyun.”

Silence again. Sana goes back to fidgeting, and Momo thinks. 

She doesn’t consider herself to be very perceptive, so she isn’t so sure what Sana is talking about until she reflects a bit more on the past few days, searching desperately through her memories to find something of concern. And what Momo keeps coming back to is Dahyun’s habits around food. Dahyun is never there at mealtimes. She’d duck out with a smile and citing a need to use the bathroom, to get a drink, to take a call, to do anything else. 

Even at home, Momo doesn’t know if she has seen the younger woman eat much, or… anything? She doesn’t cook for Dahyun as much as she does for a few others, so it’s normal for her not to eat with Dahyun very often. But Momo is used to seeing Dahyun sitting with Tzuyu or with her phone, snacking on something simple, or having a meal she made for their youngest, and she hasn’t. For at least… a few weeks now, she thinks. 

Oh! Yesterday, she saw Dahyun sneaking crackers out of the pantry. Though that memory isn’t normal, it’s coloured in Dahyun looking worried, scared, and like she truly was sneaking the crackers, as if she wasn’t allowed to eat them.

“Her eating?” Momo ventures a guess, still unsure out loud but fairly confident she got it.

“Yeah,” Sana speaks towards her hands, drawing out the last syllable. “Momo,” she suddenly bursts, looking at her, “what do we do?” Momo sees tears in her eyes and her lips wobbling. “What do we do?”

Momo shakes her head, gently taking Sana’s hands. She’s never been good at comforting crying people - she knows how to do it verbally, but never physically - though after years of living with eight women, she has figured some tricks out. She clasps Sana’s hands between hers, taking a deep breath. “We’ll figure it out. Does anyone else know?”

Sana shakes her head, her lips pressed together in a firm line now. 

Momo takes that in, desperately trying to push down all of her own emotions bubbling up: worry and fear for what this means, but mainly for Dahyun. How could have I not noticed? She needs to think of a solution, or, she supposes that this isn’t something that can be solved just like that, this needs to be handled delicately. A plan of action is what she’s looking for.

“Should we..” Momo starts, mind running through options, “talk to Mina? They’re closer in age, so maybe Dahyun would be more willing to hear it from her. Or-“ she bobs her head from side to side, weighing out a couple more options, “you’re good at talking to people, but- I think- Mina would know what to do, or would be able to help at least.”

Momo just notices the silent tears slipping down Sana’s face when she finishes talking. She makes a noise of surprise, shuffling forward to wrap Sana in a hug. “It’ll be okay, Sa-tang,” she soothes, even if she’s not sure of that herself.

Sana nods into her shoulder, sniffing. “We should talk to her soon though, I’m scared.”

Momo agrees.

*

It takes until the evening to find Mina alone in her room, the younger woman having taken her day off to follow Chaeyoung around the city. 

“Mi-tang,” Sana greets, Momo close behind in the doorway of Mina’s room. “Can we come in?”

Mina’s eyebrows pinch together and she very quickly places her switch to the side. “What’s going on?”

Momo almost winces. She had hoped they’d be a bit more subtle.

Sana switches to Japanese when they enter, as she and Momo get comfortable on Mina’s bed. Sana and Momo are aware of the person they’re talking about now being back from her day trip out with Tzuyu, and they don’t want to be overheard, or at the very least understood. 

They know that Dahyun does have a bit of understanding of Japanese - she’s a really fast learner, something that Momo is endlessly impressed with - but she won’t be able to keep up with fluent speakers in their native dialect. 

“Have you noticed anything off with Dahyun?” Sana asks. She’s got one hand holding Momo’s, squeezing. 

Mina’s gaze darkens and her shoulders sink. “She’s lost a lot of weight. I thought I was reading too into it.”

Sana shakes her head. “I’ve noticed it too. And-“ She runs a hand down her face “- I know we’re idols, but she was already perfect before, like, healthy and she looked good to the public. Now she looks…”

“Unwell,” Momo chimes in.

“Yeah.” Sana and Mina both agree.

“What do we do?” Sana asks her question again.

Mina sighs, lost in thought for a moment. “Well, we can’t force her to do anything. And we can’t force her to eat, because that could just make it worse.”

Sana nods. “But we need to do something.”

“Yes, of course. Talking to her about it is probably the best option. Then we can take it from there, after hearing what she says.”

“That’s what Momo said.”

Momo nods a little, squeezing Sana’s hand back. 

“We need to do it tonight.” Sana is firm on this, resolute. “I won’t let it get worse.”

Momo and Mina exchange a look. They more than anyone know how delicate this is, and charging in isn’t always the right plan of action. But, Momo agrees, they can’t let it get worse. 

“Yeah,” Momo sighs, shrugging at Mina, who eventually nods. 

Sana suddenly sniffs, knees drawing up to her chest as one hand covers her face. “But-“ she warbles, “what do we even do? Oh, our Dahyunnie, what happened?” She starts to sob, her body shaking as tears begin to roll down her face. “I can’t imagine what she’s going through.”

Mina seems to have the same thoughts as Momo, both of them squishing up to Sana’s sides, hands going to comfort. Momo presses a kiss to the back of Sana’s hand still in her grasp, keeping a firm hold as her other hand rubs at Sana’s shoulder. 

Mina murmurs a few soft words, snaking an arm around Sana’s waist and holding her tight. “It’ll be okay.” Momo recognizes her own words from Mina’s mouth. It’ll be okay. She really hopes they’re both telling the truth.

*

*

Dahyun is fucking exhausted. 

Exhausted doesn’t even begin to cover it. She’s tired, she’s shaking, her vision is blurry, and her stomach feels like it’s eating her insides. 

She went out with Tzuyu today to bike along the river - Tzuyu’s idea. It was nothing she hadn’t done before, but it was really nice. Very pretty, very refreshing, a perfect way to spend her day off. And with the added benefit of a little bit of exercise. 

Tzuyu and her had even stopped for lunch. Dahyun ordered something small from the menu, eyes carefully tracing the little numbers beside each food item, weighing out the benefits of being able to make it home and the drawbacks of too many calories. She had been doing such a good job in walking the line of losing weight while not fainting, because fainting is bad, it would let the others know that something is wrong. Why don’t they notice that something is wrong. Nothing is wrong, she’s doing fine. She’s doing a great job at ignoring her missed period and hair coming out in worrying clumps in the shower. 

Tzuyu and her made it back around dinner time, Dahyun grateful for the excuse of being tired, allowing her to skip whatever smelled so good in the kitchen. Tzuyu had titled her head at Dahyun. “You feeling okay, unnie?”

Dahyun nodded, a practiced tired smile slipping over her face. “Didn’t have the best sleep last night.” That part isn’t a lie, the hunger cramps had kept her tossing and turning, tears staining her pillowcase.

“Okay, take care of yourself, and let me know if you need anything?”

Dahyun nods again. “I will, thank you Tzuyu-ah.”

So here she lies on her back under her covers, still fully clothed because she’s also fucking freezing, absently hoping that sleep claims her soon, despite the fact it’s only 7pm and she hasn’t brushed her teeth yet.  

Dahyun groans, low and unhappy, as she gathers the strength to drag her sorry form up and out of bed. She pads over to the bathroom, relying on muscle memory and fingers trailing against the wall more than her vision. She secretly prays for everyone else to be too preoccupied doing something else to disturb her as she quickly tries to go through her bedtime routine. 

Her reflection in the mirror makes her frown, so she tries to avoid it. There’s always something wrong with how she looks recently, and it only makes the anxiety gnawing low in her gut grow bigger. 

Dahyun manages to get through brushing her teeth and washing her face with one hand gripping onto the counter for dear life. She reckons that’s enough for tonight - she’ll shower tomorrow. 

God, when did it get like this? Just a few weeks ago she had been happy to lose a couple of pounds, and now, she’s a shell of the person she once was. Part of her is screaming, seeing the signs of something bad and begging her on its hands and knees to get her to stop this downward spiral before it gets worse. Dahyun has only been at this for a month, and it’s terrifying. It’s addictive. At first, the hunger had almost been unbearable, but now the pit in her stomach is comfortable, it’s right, and that change would be the scariest if not for her exponential growth in fear of food. She used to be wary of certain foods at first, would pick and choose what to eat to ensure she was fitting her twisted version of healthy, but now even the smell of food scares her, and to see it in front of her, having to eat it? It’s getting hard to hide the violent shakes the mere thought causes her. 

But it’s addictive, because once the switch was flipped in her head, she can’t stop. Yes, she knows it’s so, so bad, she can see it in the way she’s cold all the time, the way her face looks an inhuman grey, the way her hair falls out, and countless other things, but she can’t stop. At least not by herself. 

It’s causing a rift in her head, the part that’s pleading for someone to notice to please, help me, and the part that makes sure she eats just enough to avoid notice, that dons baggy clothing to try to hide her too-thin and trembling figure. 

It’s splitting her apart, both mentally and physically. 

Dahyun pulls open the bathroom door, stepping out to trudge her way down the hall again.

“Dahyun?”

Dahyun nearly screams. Instead, she stumbles back, hand clutching her chest. It’s Mina - it’s just Mina - peering at her curiously.

“Going to bed?” It’s a light question, so Dahyun acts accordingly.

“Yeah,” she shrugs, “Need to get a good sleep tonight.”

Mina nods, and Dahyun fights the urge to stiffen under her searching gaze. “Do you need help getting to your room?”

“No,” she huffs a laugh, “I’m good, thank you.” Dahyun continues walking, doing her absolute best to appear as if she doesn’t need the wall for support. She feels Mina’s eyes on her. And then she stumbles.

Fuck. “Here,” Mina is at her side in an instant, one arm going around her waist. Shit. “I’ll help you to bed.”

Dahyun nods - what else can she do?

Begrudgingly, Mina’s support is nice. She’s warm and sturdy and to have someone help her, even if it isn’t about her main underlying problem, is nice. Mina helps her change into pyjamas and helps her into bed and Dahyun feels warm.

But after Dahyun is lying down, tucked in, Mina doesn’t leave. Instead she kneels down next to the bed. 

Uh oh.

“Dahyunnie?” Mina pipes up, gentle fingers brushing Dahyun’s curtain bangs to the side.

Dahyun hums, trying to keep a facade of being unbothered, but anxiety begins to creep up her throat as warning bells sound in her brain.

“Are you eating enough?” 

Dahyun swallows heavily. She has to give kudos to Mina for remaining so gentle and calm, even though Dahyun is pretty sure that Mina knows. She has a choice to make for herself, and that small but loud part of her mind is crying out again.

“Yeah,” she says, eyebrows lowering in feigned concern. “What do you mean?” That small part isn’t loud enough.

Mina shakes her head, her fingers - at this point - just playing with Dahyun’s hair. “Please, Dahyun, don’t pretend.”

Shit shit shit shit FUCK. It’s happening now. Dahyun is exhausted but she’s got adrenaline coursing through her weak, weak body because she’s gotten found out and fuck she should’ve known she couldn’t hide this while living with eight other attentive women who care and love for each other so much. What now? She has to face herself? She has to drag herself out from this spiral to please the people around her (to save herself)? Will the others even handle it right?

She pulls herself from her thoughts, following an instinct. For once, choosing the instinct that has been crying out for her survival and wellbeing, the one that actually knows what’s good for her, not the voices or the urges that run deep, preying on her weak moments. 

Dahyun opens her eyes fully, looking into Mina’s as she feels tears well up. “Help me, please,” she whispers.

Mina’s face grows stony and serious for a split second, Dahyun watching her take it in, then it solidifies warmer as she nods. “We’ve got you now.”

Dahyun doesn’t have the time or the mind to question what she means by “we” before she’s sobbing, face tucked into Mina’s chest as the older woman’s arms cradle her head in a slightly awkward but infinitely comforting embrace. Dahyun is shaking, trembling in fear of what the future is to bring but Mina is holding her and Mina has her now and so maybe it’ll be okay.

[extemporaneousmusings]

1/5/23

Pictured: a reproduction of the Mitchell map from 1755, which depicts the British colonies in North America as they relate to other parties // a close-up of the map showing two rather large bodies of water labeled Bever Ponds where Cincinnati is currently located

Today I:

-got an encouraging email from my advisor indicating that she is somewhat understanding of the fact that I haven’t been in a great writing headspace

-found things on my external hard drive that have somehow disappeared from my dropbox…Yay to finding them and to my past self for backing them up, boo to lost files on the cloud

-introduced my father in law to haim 🥰

-cooked some meals to last my mother in law and aunt in law for the rest of the week after we leave tomorrow

-did some research for fun not related to my diss or job search! I still want to read more about the making of the map, tho tbh from what I’ve read the answers to the questions I have likely require some archival research to figure out and that certainly isn’t in my near future. Regardless, I learned that beavers were already hunted to extinction around Cincy by 1805, and agricultural exploitation has completely transformed what is indicated to be a rather wet landscape

[gontagokuhara]

HELLO CONNORLIZABETH BAZ FREAKING WRITES surprisingly it is not drunk anon coming at ya... its ya girl Cider checking in and thanking you for responding to my last ask! It's been a minute (I started nursing school and I'm already uhh😍 slaying grades wise but not slaying mental health wise, I didnt get to respond to the ask but I'm gonna read it now!) but I have so much inspiration for reading/writing recently and it's making me feel pretty happy!😊 I thought I should send some good vibes your way and let you know that you've still got that lesbian swag 👊🏾 like jesus I left for two seconds and you've already forgotten your lesbian swag??????🙄🙄🙄 Life will work out and your toxic yuri situation may very likely have an unexpected ending! And if you feel like you're doing your best then it truly is what it is💔 Anyway I know you'll do well regardless and hope you have a great rest of your day👍 I AM MANIFESTING THE MOST PERFECT BEAUTIFUL HOT SEXY FUNNY BUTCH TO CURRENTLY STALK YOUR SOCIALS AND FALL IN LOVE AND SHOW UP ON YOUR DOORSTEP AND PICK UP WINNIE AND START LIFTING HER LIKE A WEIGHT. Now I'm gonna take a nap bc my head hurts bad and I was TOO awkward today in class so I need to take a catnap BYEEEEE

CIDER MY BELOVED ❤️❤️❤️ i’ve been sitting on this ask for a few days i HAVE seen it i HAVE been rereading it when i need girlboss lesbian swag and you DELIVERED ‼️‼️ i am feeling better mostly Thankfully this toxic yuri is very much in the past i was just unexpectedly prompted into having Emotions over it u hate to see it tbh…..but we move on HOPEFULLY TO A BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS DREAMY BUTCH (or a pretty femme Love wins ❤️) and in the meantime we grind on pointy objects ‼️

good luck in school beloved i am actually as we speak en route to help my sister (pointy objects co-founder, god among men) move into her dorm……and then i’m hopefully gonna get close to finishing up the chapter because to be completely real with you i am COOKING 😏 and am sooooo excited u have no idea genuinely writing this chapter has been so fun. there were Reasons i abandoned pointy objects in college however and Time is certainly one of them so i Completely understand </3 especially when ur in NURSING!!! my college was majority nursing it is NAWT easy but i believe in u so much its UNREAL!!!! u got this babe and u know me and pointy objects will be here when the right time arises ❤️ i love u have a good week!!!! MWAH

[1d1195]

Hi Sam, just wondering what’s on the menu for this week? I just need to know what to look forward to: it’s just past 9AM and I’ve been crying for ten minutes cuz I saw two insta reels of people fulfilling their dreams (like a little boy got to the train announcement in my cities system and he did such a good job) and I am sobbing. I’m not sad my heart is like full and happy for them but it’s brought me to tears. I feel like as hysterical as men think women get when they’re on their periods. But also I’ve never had this happen to me before. I’ve never been brought to tears cuz my period. I’ve been close to it but usually I toe the line between rage and fiery rage. I want that back. LMAO!!

Sorry for trauma dumping. lol I also have barely slept, I think I might’ve fallen asleep around 4AM the pain was insane; just feeling all the things. I had the hiccups this morning but my nausea was so bad that it was tortuous to try. 🙃🙃

To quote that one tiktok sound, “oh how I love being a woman”—which I do, idk how I’m gonna survive another 2-3 days of this.

Thanks for reading. I know it’s a lot. Can’t wait for whatever you’re cooking up. I already love it. -🐱

OH HOW I LOVE BEING A WOMAN

Don't apologize at all! Periods are the worst in any form. I'm loving the concept of rage/fiery rage. I feel that! My bf says I'm a totally different person when I'm PMSing (and tbh he's not wrong at all lol) Every one of my emotions is connected to my tear ducts so even when I'm rage-filled I'm still crying most of the time. So I also understand the crying when you're really not even sad.

Unfortunately, I didn't have time to get something ready for this afternoon :( I saw Niall over the weekend and then dealt with Father's day stuff and that pretty much absorbed most of my time. BUT I'm writing now so we'll see what I accomplish in the next few hours!

I have a one-shot planned. Very fluffy little to no angst (and if it is, I think Harry's going to be a little on the jealous side). I've got a general outline for it of a bunch of things that I want to happen but I'm at a stage where it's a little tricky to connect the pieces so I'm hoping with a little more time to use my brain and focus on writing, I can get point a to point b. Regardless, I do believe it'll be ready to go for Thursday at the latest!

I hope you're feeling better after a tough morning. Thanks for checking in, you know I love hearing from you 💕

xoxo

[katjasmiles]

so my friend julia and i started a thing we call pizza flipper fridays where we get ✨toasty✨ and take a frozen cheese pizza and zhuzh it up a little with a main mystery ingredient and whatever i have in my pantry/fridge.

my name is katja and since july i’ve been trying to teach myself how to cook and build a diverse pantry so i could create more satisfying meals at home at the drop of a hat for less than i’d spend going out to eat.

🍕🍕🍕

week one, our mystery ingredient was a nice big heirloom tomato

so we sliced up the tomato, crumbled some fresh cheese, drizzled some balsamic vinegar and put some dried basil on top

7/10 it was delicious and the flavors *were there* but it would have benefitted from a balsamic glaze rather than liquid-y balsamic vinegar flooding the pie. also some fresh basil for color. it’s just okay visually so i knocked a point off for it

i actually bought balsamic glaze after making this, it’s actually life changing i got it from whole foods.

🍕🍕🍕

week two, we had julia’s girlfriend lucy over and she brought the mystery ingredient zucchini

so this week we have some panko-fried zucchini, chopped red onion, and a mayo/gochujang drizzle on top.

10/10, absolute banger. panko added a nice crunch because we added it towards the end of the bake so it wouldn’t get mushy in the cheese. kewpie mayo and gochujang paste is my favorite combo right now and I’ve been putting it on everything. very visually pleasing to me, lots of colors.

🍕🍕🍕

week three we have julia and lucy back over again and our mystery ingredient is a rotisserie chicken

we went a little crazy this week and used a white pizza with spinach on top. it breaks the mold a little but pizza flipper fridays is always about thinking outside the bun.

lucy shredded up the chicken and tossed it in a sauce julia and i made up of gochujang, rice wine vinegar, a little soy sauce, a little sesame oil, and a tiny squeeze of kewpie mayo. put a very generous layer of chicken on top. lucy then rough chopped a couple cloves of fresh garlic.

now the issue, i forgot how we did the zucchini the last time and i cut the slices a bit too thicc and just plopped them on top. they got tossed in some salt, pepper, and olive oil. tbh i may have just been a bit too ✨toasty✨ to chop any thinner and was taking precautions.

overall though?

8.5/10, the zucc got baked just fine and softened up but it looks very silly like i have a polka dot pizza. the chicken was 🔥 and the white sauce really allowed the gochujang marinade be the star of the show rather than fight against tomato. if we panko fried the zucchini or even just sliced them thinner/smaller, i think this would have been a solid 10/10.

ALSO WISH I HAD RED ONIONS

🍕🍕🍕

thank you for reading this because it is very silly

stay tuned for the next pizza flipper fridays, where every day is friday (because it has never actually been held on a friday)

[abcdosaka]

Didn’t start looking for a job yet. Maybe tomorrow? I’ve been feeling so worried what people will think of me and just anxiety abt my parents bc honestly I’m so transactional in my relationship with them. I don’t know why. Have they taught me that? Idk where else it could’ve came from tbh even as a kid I remember being like “how abt we all just do our own chores/make our own tea/wash our own dishes” and my mom was like no you’re so selfish. like was that her manifesting this into me or did she spoil me too much as she said she did or what even caused that. Anyway point is I hate depending on them bc I feel like I owe them so much and I hate that.

Honestly had some thought abt romantic relationships. Can I just say I’m asexual and go. I don’t think I am is the thing but im genuinely afraid of connecting with people closely now. Even just a close friendship seems so unknowable to me lol. S actually kinda traumatized me. Idk if I’d say traumatize rly but what other word….had a significant effect on me. There you go that’s how you extend a sentence if you wanna meet the word count. But yeah and romantic relationships just seem so much more intense than friendships idk I just feel like I’m not strong enough for one like idk if I could be there for someone romantically and I’m so afraid of letting people down

Back to jobs. Idk if I’m qualified. I am I know I am but I’m just so scared of applying even though I’ve done it like hundreds of times at this point and had like 30 interviews. It’s always scary not knowing what you’re doing or where you’re life is going. Ik it’s not that hard but also I’m scared there won’t be that many listings I actually want or the pay will be shit or it’ll be a shit workplace. But idk I’ve faced all that before.

My parents rly do spoil me bc another thing is like they take care of me. I don’t have to cook I just have to contribute around the house a bit but even if I don’t they still care for me. I rlly need to step it up

The past two weeks were like my vacation I guess. I just don’t want it to end. I like doing nothing. But at the same time I hate it. It’s like I feel fine but there’s def something under the surface that just very sad and fearful and frustrated and stressed. If I could move out maybe I’d get motivation but it’s stupid to move out without a job. And I’m terrified of getting my license which I absolutely need to do at this point like it’s ridiculous how much time it has taken me and I’m embarrassed that I haven’t but every instructor I’ve had just made me hate it even though I’m like not even that bad at driving. I’m just worried abt parking bc no matter how much I practice I never seem to get it right

[angelbluediary]

We started talking in March I think?

And then sure enough I did start to ghost him without really meaning to.

And he actually put his feelings about being disappointed and wanting to foster our connection out on the table as a goodbye. But I didn’t want it to be a goodbye and had to explain my depressive avoidant embarrassing bullshit.

We’ve been casually talking all the while and he says he understands and reaffirms everything is totally fine when I accidentally blow off his messages for almost two weeks 😬

I feel free to mess up and free to talk only when I want. All our conversations are interesting and make me feel so good. Everything I learn about him is so good—his political views, his empathy, his deep thinking, his music tastes, his attraction style, his GOING TO THERAPY, his willingness and enthusiasm for learning new things. His growing interest in kink (that I did NOT jumpstart myself because apparently he’s been curious, which is a green flag personally, but even more of a green flag is him TAKING CLASSES and educating himself on the kink community before actually participating????).

😤

The only not-perfect thing about him so far is his neutrality towards food and eating for convenience and not pleasure, also probably not being the best cook because he meal preps bland ass shit. But he needed a flaw tbh. And that’s something that’s easy to accept and work with rather than a ton of the other red flags I’ve dealt with in past relationships.

He barely uses social media and we had similar experiences on the Boo app, where we met each other, immediately became interested, and zeroed in on one another. Only difference is he straight up deleted the app once we started texting, and I’m still on there collecting breadcrumbs of validation bc I’m an internet hoe 😬 but I don’t talk to anyone else. Certainly not the way I talk with him. I’m not interested in anyone else, my attention immediately got snagged and I think it’s reciprocated.

So. Not to like, lose my head or anything, but I think by this point it’s okay to start feeling a little romantic. Especially when he’s flirting with the idea of traveling down here “to experience the Carolinas, not to meet anyone cool.” God forbid I start to enjoy feeling a flush in my cheeks and a new lightness in my body! That old old old fluttery feeling I’m now so shy to court. It’s okay to swoon a little girl! Aghhhh!!! And he’s cute and already 30 that’s so hot.

oh god if I start talking back and forth with this guy just a little bit more frequently. If I finally cave and offer my discord ID or some other way to reach me more easily… I just know all the intrigue and slow-building attraction will die in me all of a sudden, out of nowhere, and I’ll be fighting the screaming urge to ghost him.

I’d love to not do that. I’d love to just become friends.

[yokozawass-fan-account]

A study on one Yokozawa Takafumi

 Okay, buckle up guys cause I’ve been wanting to do this for MONTHS and now is the time and it’s gonna be a long post.  It’s time to talk about my sweet baby angel Yokozawa.

As some of you may have figured out already, Yokozawa is my favorite character in the SiH/JR universe. Tbh, he’s my favorite character PERIOD.  I mean, look at him :

He’s gorgeous. I could look at him all day long. So what follows is a bunch of observations and theories (that are obviously 100% totally true, as they are mine) that revolve around the character of Yokozawa Takafumi.

We don’t really know much about Yokozawa’s personal life before his first appearance in SiH. We know of his relationship with Takano and their time together in college, but we know nothing of his past that DOESN’T involve Takano.  We do have glimpses of informations, like the fact that his parents worked late when he was a child and so he had to learn how to cook and take care of himself and that they might be bugging him about getting married, but it’s always given out in 1 short sentence in the novels with absolutely no details, which makes this statements difficult to fully understand. (for example, it isn’t explicited if he has siblings, tho he probably doesn’t, or when exactly did his parents talk to him about getting married, which means that he COULD have siblings and that his last interaction with his parents COULD be from a couple of weeks to several months before we hear of it, maybe even more than a year). We also learn in an EXTRA (like you gave him 6 novels but you put THAT in an EXTRA, NAKAMURA?!?) that his scowl comes from waaaaaayyyyyyy back into his childhood since he’s been scowling in pictures since he was a child, something that he didn’t realize himself until he saw said-pictures again as an adult.

From his first appearance, what we understand about him is that he’s cold, aggressive, loud and work-focused. In fact, it is implied that it’s what many of his coworkers see in him since they nicknamed him the “Wild Bear” of Sales.  His personnality and reputation are so bad at the start of SiH that most of them fear him, and the only coworkers with whom he seems to get along with, outside of Takano, are Henmi (which is honetsly only due to Henmi being a cinnamon roll), Hatori (but it’s more about mutual respect than friendship) and Yukina (who’s not even working at Marukawa and whom he only sees from time to time). He does have cordial relationships with other people, but it’s mostly people who don’t interact much with him or who are unrelated to his own work. 

To summarize, he’s a grumpy asshole with no friends (except Takano but we all know it’s basically like having no friends at all) (sorry Takano kinnies, i love him too but you know I’m right) And we, readers, are expected to hate him with all our heart.

Then, this happens:

And from then on, Yokozawa is revealed to be so much more than what we thought we knew.  The next time we see him in SiH, he’s “back to normal” and tells Ritsu that at the first occasion, he’ll steal Takano back. Thanks to the Yokozawa Takafumi no Baii novels (or YTnB), we understand that he doesn’t really think what he’s saying as he has finally fully realized that he could never have Takano. What he said then was a way for himself to not lose face in front of the man who beat him, who won Takano even though he’s done nothing for it, unlike Yokozawa who had been trying to get Takano for several years. It’s self-preservation, and in the end, it may be more of an act for himself than against Ritsu.  In other words, he’s officially giving up but without admitting his defeat, at least out loud. The worst part is probably that he had known for a long time he could never have Takano, but just couldn’t let go. It doesn’t really work for him tho, because he still feels all the sadness, sourness and disappointment that comes with being rejected for someone else. And of course, since he is very prideful, you can add shame to the mix.  Then, the final strike: there’s no one for him at this moment.  Takano is more or less his only friend, and in this situation there’s no way he can seek comfort from him.  His family? Well, assuming he doesn’t have any sibling, it’s only his parents, and from how much we hear about them (NEVER LMAOOOOO, they’re mentionned 2-3 times in total thoughout the 6 novels and have 0 influence on the plot at any time. Compared to that, Hiyori’s grandparents from her mother’s side are like main characters lmao), he doesn’t seem particularly close with them, so they’re out.

By the way, there’s something really bothering me that I want to share.  In the 4th novel, Yokozawa reveals to the Kirishimas that his birthday was actually 2 days after Kirishima’s but that he FORGOT about it until way after it had passed. He also says that it doesn’t really matter because it’s not important and he usually doesn’t celebrate it anyway. The problem is: as a parent, wouldn’t you, at least, call your child to wish them a happy birthday? Because, if Yokozawa forgot his birthday until AFTER it had passed, it means that NO ONE wished him a happy birthday, or he would have remembered. Therefore, his parents didn’t even call to wish him a happy birthday. His own parents to whom he is -supposedly- an only child. From that, we can extrapolate. If they don’t call him for his birthday, they probably don’t call much at all, right? Now, add to that information that Takano, his only real friend, never calls him by his given name, and that of course no one else does since they’re not close with Yokozawa. The only people who might call him by his given name are his family. His parents. Do you see my point?

This man has very probably not been called by his given name in months.  Your given name gives you individuality. Your family name is something you share with other people but your given name identifies you as an individual among your family. I’m telling you, my boy has been called “Yokozawa” for so long that it’s basically how he identifies himself. (hell, I bet he refers to himself as “Yokozawa” instead of “Takafumi”) And I think that this theory is supported by the fact that he doesn’t like being called “Takafumi” by Kirishima, even after months of dating. It’s like he’s not a person anymore. He doesn’t have anything he’s passionae about, he’s an entity that fulfils a role. Takano’s best friend. The Wild Bear of Sales. Ritsu’s rival.  He’s never allowed to be just “Takafumi”. And when he “loses” the only person he was actually close to, his world collapses, because he doesn’t have anything else in his private life, which is why he turns to work and focuses on that afterwards. Yokozawa is an incredibly lonely character. He feels alone but his pride and self-deprecative tendencies (let’s remember that he expressed multiple times that he doesn’t understand how Kirishima can be attracted to him and keeps questioning his place in the Kirishimas’ household) don’t allow him to realize it.  He doesn’t have anybody, he knows it, he ignores it. But it doesn’t take the pain away, and so he falls into a spiral of self-hate and depression.

It could have ended like that, but then Kirishima forced his way into the picture. That night in the bar, Kirishima is faced with something he (and probably nobody else, honestly) has never seen before: Yokozawa giving out fully to his true feelings. When Takano confronted him, Yokozawa lashed out but he maintained some control over himself, enough to not let Takano see how deeply crushed Yokozawa really was. But with all the despair and alcohol inside him, Yokozawa showed everything he usually never showed to anyone else: his desperation, his love, his tears... And it’s basically the moment Kirishima decided “yep, I’m gonna take care of this guy”, because he SAW, at that moment, Yokozawa’s true heart, his naivete when it comes to love, how deeply he can love and how far he would go for the people he holds dear. Kirishima was facing the guy half Marukawa thinks is an absolute asshole, and realized there was so much more to him than anything he could have imagine. So of course, he started to wonder what other sides of Yokozawa he could discover. And thanks to him, we, the reader, got to see those sides too.

Yokozawa is actually very sweet and sincere. He’s grumpy, yes, and he clearly doesn’t know how to handle his emotions (as if no one ever teached him how to, mmmmmmmmhhhhh, I WONDER), but it’s just the hard exterior that he put up for so long that it basically became his natural state. The truth is revealed about the former n°1 enemy of the fandom: he’s good with animals and kids (because, surprise, he’s actually a big softie with heart of gold), he likes to cook, he enjoys reading  when he has time, he actually really appreciates Henmi despite scolding him all the time, he’s shy when it comes to intimacy, etc... We discover a man who is stubborn and irritable because he’s very dedicated to everything he has responsability over (like the parent race at Hiyori school, my boy TRAINED for WEEKS so he would do his best for a little girl he had known for a couple of months at best, god); he acts clingy at times because he when he loves, he loves hard and fully; he’s bad at sharing his feelings because he has a lot of insecurities and self-doubt (like, every novel he’s ready to leave the Kirishimas the moment they want him out of their lives, even though he acknowledges to himself that it would probably destroy him. like, baby, wtf?). And despite all that, he always does his best to do the right thing. He doesn’t sulk and indulge into his flawed behaviour. When he fucks up, he apologizes and does his best to make up for it (except with Onodera but nobody’s perfect lmao), and even though he’s unsure about his future with the Kirishimas, he gives them everything he has. And for the first time (again, sorry Takano kinnies), he’s given back just as much.

Hiyori is obviously perfect, she’s the best, I love her. But his relationship with Kirishima is what really allows Yokozawa to reveal everything he has in him. - I said I’d accept you unconditionally—you don’t have to change one bit. “ That statement is, in my opinion, the exact thing that makes their relationship work and the proof that Kirishima is the ideal partner for Yokozawa. Kirishima acknowledges Yokozawa’s flaws later  in the scene, making it clear that he’s not blind of them and that he knows what he’s getting himself into by being Yokozawa’s lover. And saying loud and clear that he knows about them and is willing to accept Yokozawa, not despite those flaws, but WITH them, he’s basically giving Yokozawa exactly what he needs. Yokozawa is aware of his flaws and that he pushes other people away with his shitty behaviour, but no one ever gave him the opportunity to grow and change in order for him to become a better person. Deep down, he’s an amazing guy, but no one before has ever been willing to wait long enough to see it. When Kirishima says this sentence, I don’t think he’s refering to Yokozawa’s behaviour towards himself because of course that he wants Yokozawa to act differently with him after they become lovers, like being lovey-dovey and more laid-back around him. I think he’s telling Yokozawa “I know who you are deep down, I see you, and I’ll take it with everything it goes with without hesitation”, and that’s precisely what Yokozawa needs: to be loved for who he truly is, and to be given the time to change the way he behaves without being rushed or judged. The proof of this is that, Yokozawa DOES change in the course of the novels. He’s less grumpy and angry and stressed, but also more confident and relaxed and able to solve problems with calmness and communication. And those changes all come from his desire to be a better person for the people and to be able to support people around himself. He doesn’t change to please Kirishima; he changes because he’s wanted to change things about him for a long time and Kirishima offered him the opportunity and the support he needed to make those changes in himself. I think Kirishima being a father really helps here, because he’s a good father, which means he has learned to be patient and understanding and to leave others the space to grow, just like he does with Hiyori. So, yeah, he’s right when he says that having a child is “a plus” for his relationship with Yokozawa, because it gave him the tools to be the partner Yokozawa needed and deserved. On a personnal note, I think I fell in love with Yokozawa because I used to feel a similar type of loneliness and that horrible feeling that you could technically do something but you still somehow can’t manage to actually do it, and you feel horrible about yourself. But by loving him, I learned to love and forgive that part of myself. Because I saw this part of myself in him, I realized that it does not make me horrible or pathetic or disgusting. It’s humane, it’s hard, and it should be handled with support and kindness, not disdain and disgust. So, thank you my grumpy bear boy for allowing me to accept all this, I love you <3

[icequeenbae]

Stay the Night (m) | BBH [pt.2]

Sequel to: Lost and Found [pt.1]

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Dilf Dad!Baek, Established Relationship, fluff, smut

Warnings: explicit content, unprotected sex (it’s either dumb or strategic), mommy and daddy going at it ©, creampie, a sprinkle of body insecurity?

Word Count: ~3.2k

Summary: It’s been a few months since Baekhyun bumped into you in daycare. Your life has changed dramatically since then, and while introducing a second parent to your son was no easy task, the relationship between you and his father also remained… unsettled. So far.

© Please do not copy/ post on other platforms without permission.

Author’s Note: Hi darlings!! I’ve been going through some rough time lately, and it seems like it’s gonna last a few weeks (months?) at least. But I didn’t want to disappear since I got many things planned. So, as promised, this story is getting a continuation, and it’s great timing (to celebrate the 400 followers milestone) 💌 Tbh this was written around the time I posted pt.1 (if not before that…), so I hope you’re still waiting for the update~ Get a playful parent!Baek, who can charm the hell out of anyone. Especially when they are already weak for him 😷 Please enjoy this part and let me know what you think! Also, I strongly suggest that you read Lost and Found before this, it’s pretty short anyways:)

Network tags: @superm-net​  @exo-writers-net​​  @bbh-net​

It always made you wonder where kids get all that energy from.

You even questioned this now, while putting the dishes away to the dishwasher. The machine was a big help since cooking for these two was already an exhausting enough job (on top of your actual job!), and washing the dishes would just leave you with zero time to breathe. Despite being extremely stubborn, you were thankful for everything Baekhyun had done for you in the past months. Most of it was through coercion, of course; he knew you wouldn’t just pick up and move in with him ‘just because’.

Just because he owned a fancy apartment at a fancy Seoul location, for instance. That was times and times larger than the one you stayed at with Hyunwoo.

Baekhyun found a way to insist on the move – his son needed to live nearby for him to be able to see him often. And if you weren’t ready to move in with him, then he could find a nice apartment for you. That was a more or less reasonable request. He knew you couldn’t say no to him wanting his son to be close by, and at this point there was no way you could afford renting such a place.

‘You know how busy I am, and I already missed the first two years of his life. I want to spend as much time with him as I can, Y/N-ah,’ Baekhyun whispered, leaning in to kiss the top of his son’s head while the boy was snoozing in your arms. ‘He’s the most precious gift I’ve ever received.’

His sparkling eyes gave you goosebumps. The more hours he spent with you, especially saying things like that, the needier you seemed to become. You prayed that he didn’t notice how easy it was to get you all hot and bothered. But that time he only mouthed ‘thank you’ and pressed his lips to your forehead innocently.

So, you moved. To a two-bedroom apartment that was at least three times bigger than your previous one, and with everything you could possibly need. You didn’t agree to this option either, but Baekhyun already signed all the paperwork and presented you with a key, leaving you no options to downgrade even a little. ‘I want the best for my family,’ he said, and you had no choice but to comply.

It was nice. The two and a half years you had to struggle alone were very tough on you. Having someone to take care of both you and your baby boy was a great relief. Your heart was finally at ease: Hyunwoo went to the nicest daycare around, was always well-fed and nicely clothed (Baekhyun was obsessed with buying him new outfits every other week…), and had a great health insurance plan thanks to his dad. But most of all, your son was happy.

If the obnoxious brattle and giggling from the other room was any indication.

You chuckled, turning the dishwasher on. They’d been at it for at least an hour after dinner, and it was a miracle Baekhyun could even keep up with the little guy. He was great with Hyunwoo though. Easily made his son fall in love with him, and now these two were wreaking havoc almost non-stop. What a duo.

As you reached the doorway, the laughter and gasps became more conspicuous. Baekhyun was already lying on the floor, breath labored from all the running around. Meanwhile, Hyunwoo plopped on top of him, still giggling and fidgeting about, making his father grunt.

‘Ah, appa is too old for this,’ he muttered, palm hovering over his son’s back protectively to prevent him from falling over.

His neck was straining slightly from the uncomfortable position, yet he was in no hurry to change it. Your eyes lingered on it a bit longer, watching the bulging jugular vein and the slight bob under the taut skin when he swallowed.

‘Finally worn out? The neighbors are ecstatic,’ you cleared your throat, and they turned to you.

Baekhyun suddenly seemed much more energetic than seconds prior.

‘Hyunwoo-yah… Wanna chase mommy?’ He whispered conspiratorially, sitting up and holding the boy close.

‘There will be no chasing mommy, thank you. Haven’t you kicked up enough dust already?’

Baekhyun started rising slowly, and you took a step to the side.

‘No,’ you warned, but the grins on their faces said there was nothing you could do to stop them. ‘Come on, you- ah!’

You squeaked and actually began running away from them, but not far – as soon as you ended up on the sofa, you had to call a truce. They still jumped you and made you laugh with the tickle torture. Which ended in you breathing heavily too, hugging your son, who was resting comfortably on your chest now.

‘I think he’s finally tired,’ you whispered at Baekhyun, noting how your baby’s eyes were growing sleepy.

‘And he knows all the best resting spots,’ he responded, earning a mildly exasperated sigh from you.

‘Puppy, let’s go get you ready for bed,’ you placed a kiss into the soft hair on his head, and he yawned, mumbling that he didn’t want to go to bed yet.

‘I’ll take him,’ Baekhyun interrupted the exchange. ‘Finish up in the kitchen, while we,’ he took your son into his arms, ‘go on a bathroom adventure!’

‘What is it?’ A curious voice asked.

‘Appa will show you!’

You followed them with your eyes, smiling at how great they were together. It was also a relief there was someone else to give Hyunwoo all of the attention he craved. As his mother, you always did your best to show him love and affection, but he was so active these days… You’d never be able to keep up if you had to do it alone.

Baekhyun was an amazing dad, too. He easily handled any tantrums and essentially spoke the boy’s language, knowing when to reason with him and when to say something to pique his interest. Your son adored him, and you sometimes wondered if it was even fair for Baekhyun to gain this amount of love in such a short time.

Before you knew it, they were all done with the night routines, and Hyunwoo was out like a little light. When you crept in to see what was up, Baekhyun was making sure he was well tucked in before turning the lamp off.

You ended up in your room, finally sitting down to chill. He slouched on the sofa, and you took a spot on your bed. Baekhyun’s legs were spread, the way he usually sat, and he seemed relaxed and comfortable, as if he wasn’t going anywhere. For a split second, you wished that he wasn’t.

‘Wow, that’s one energetic boy,’ Baekhyun’s low laugh brought you back to reality.

‘I wonder whom he’s getting that from.’

Both of you snickered at that.

‘Maybe that’s why he loves you so much,’ you continued.

Baekhyun squinted at you from the sofa.

‘Are you… pouting?’

‘No.’

‘You are. Don’t tell me you are jealous.’ He huffed in disbelief.

Well, you decided to ignore that. Because you were not jealous at all.

‘Oh my god, Y/N. How territorial of you,’ he taunted.

‘I’m not jealous!’ You objected almost too loudly.

‘Right,’ he sneered. ‘I guess that he gets from you.’

You raised a confused eyebrow.

‘Remember how Hyunwoo behaved when I came along, the tantrums and the silent treatment? So jealous of his mommy. Can’t blame him though,’ he suddenly eyed you head to toe.

You gulped from the intensity of his stare, and he licked his lips slowly before snapping out of it. Back to his chill self.

‘He even fought me once. Fists were involved,’ Baekhyun recalled in an exaggerated tone.

‘Yes, the two-year-old beat you up. I’m sure that’s how it was,’ you responded on autopilot, fidgeting on the bed.

‘I let him win. Strategically. He wins the fight, I win the war – that sort of thing.’

‘How clever. Did you? Win the war?’

‘Don’t know yet. But at least I have a strong ally now. We’re getting there.’

A strange sensation in your chest caused you to bite your tongue.

‘How’s work?’ He suddenly changed the topic, eyes still studying you lazily.

‘Good. The four-day schedule works fine so far, my day-off is tomorrow. Will probably go to the dog café with Hyunwoo, he loves it.’

‘Runs in the family,’ Baekhyun nodded.

‘Hey, I love dogs too!’ You protested.

‘Like I said, runs in the family.’

His words instantly got you even more flustered, and you had no idea why. This happened more and more often in the recent weeks. There was no good comeback, so you just fell silent again. The crumpled sheets were suddenly more interesting than anything.

Sensing the shift, Baekhyun (likely thinking he made you uncomfortable) cleared his throat.

‘I guess, it’s time for me to-’

‘You can stay!’ You interjaculated, rising from the bed abruptly.

Somehow you both froze in surprise.

‘It’s… late, and…’

‘You want me to spend the night here?’ He clarified, taking a careful step towards you.

‘Um- There’s a couch-’

The closer he was, the more incoherent your speech became. This was relatively new. But then again, you didn’t spend this much time alone with him until recently. Maybe the cozy domestic Baekhyun was just throwing you off. He was the father of your son, after all, and seeing him interact with Hyunwoo may have affected you too. Or maybe all of this was just an excuse you came up with instead of admitting that your feelings for your ex were still there. With him close like that, you couldn’t even register the burning in your cheeks.

‘You want me on the couch?’ Your knees almost faltered when he simply touched your bare forearm, stroking up. ‘Are you blushing?’

‘I don’t want- Why are you touching me?’

‘We’re always touching each other. Why does it suddenly bother you, Y/N-ie?’

You swallowed, lowering your eyes just enough to have a clear view of his wet pouty lips.

‘So,’ his voice deepened, almost turning into a hoarse whisper. ‘Do you still want me on the couch, or…?’

Your eyes shot up, but you didn’t get a chance to respond. He didn’t leave you a spare second before he planted his mouth on yours. It ended unsatisfyingly fast. Like he was giving you a chance to back out. But once you felt his lips, you wanted more. You wanted the actual kiss, with tongue and with the lack of oxygen making you lightheaded.

And he eagerly gave you exactly what you desired. Time ceased to exist as you got enchanted by the vaguely familiar swirl of his tongue, held tightly in his arms.

‘Y/N, is this- what you want?’ He asked while you traced his jaw with your mouth.

‘Lock the door,’ you murmured.

There was his answer.

Baekhyun reached for the door, and you couldn’t resist the desire to have your lips on his tense neck. But a second later he was already hoisting you up, just to lay you down on the bed.

‘Stop fussing,’ he whispered, helping you get his t-shirt off. ‘And be quiet.’

You grunted impatiently in response, removing your top while he tugged your shorts off. A kiss on the belly made you jump. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, you tensed up and met his eyes with your uncertain ones. You did lose most of your baby weight, but your body… wasn’t the same as it was before giving birth. The life you were leading wasn’t exactly dedicated to exercising, so the belly stuck around. And your breasts went at least two sizes up from hormones and breastfeeding… Naturally, those deflated a bit when you stopped feeding Hyunwoo, but that only made them sag a little. Not to mention the stretch marks.

However, Baekhyun would have none of that. He just went right back to peppering kisses around your navel.

‘I can hear what you’re thinking,’ he murmured. ‘Don’t be silly. You are beautiful.’

He reached your bra, pressing on the cups to squeeze your breasts together.

‘Don’t even get me started on these,’ he dove between them, making you laugh breathlessly. ‘And the unspeakable things I wanna do to them…’

You squirmed, shifting your butt underneath him.

‘Can you feel how hard you make me?’ He rolled his hips forward to confirm.

It was enough to provoke you.

‘Baekhyun,’ you whined, falling apart as soon as his hand gripped your thigh firmly. ‘I literally haven’t had sex in years, can you fuck me already?’

‘In years, as in…’ He paused, searching your face. ‘Since us?’

‘Yeah. I was… kinda busy,’ you mumbled awkwardly. Being a new single mom wasn’t something you could juggle dating with.

He kissed you on impulse, doing a poor job at containing the inappropriately joyful smile.

‘So, I was the last person to fuck you?’ His fingers rubbed you slowly through your panties.

‘How much more ego-stroking do you need?’ You were getting quite irritated with the stalling.

‘None, I just wanted to mess with you. Sex is better when you’re frustrated.’ He smirked, removing your underwear and touching your now bare skin. ‘Because then you wanna be even more vocal than usual…’

He lowered himself on top of you again, and finished his thought.

‘…but you can’t be.’

With that, he jerked forward, covering your mouth with his right palm to prevent your surprised squeal from escaping.

‘Sh-h-h,’ he brushed his nose across your neck, pressing a chaste kiss onto it. ‘You don’t wanna wake up the entire neighborhood now, do you?’

He was just teasing – you couldn’t respond anyway. Not with the skilled maneuver of his hips, nailing you to the mattress. Baekhyun was going deep but slow in the beginning, allowing you to adjust to the long-awaited stretch. But as you moaned into his palm, he sped it up, taking it as his cue.

Finally lowering his hand, he let you gasp for air before he kissed you again.

‘Bae-k-hyun, please,’ you uttered, and he sat back, changing the position slightly.

Hooking his arms under your knees, he pulled your hips up.

‘Ow,’ you reacted to the strain, mentally cursing your lack of flexibility.

But your partner was quick to react and find a pillow to stabilize your pelvis.

‘Better? Or another one?’

‘Use two,’ he nodded and added the second pillow.

The angle he was getting now seemed perfect, so he didn’t waste any more time.

‘Shit, if this is a dream, that’s definitely the best fucking dream I’ve ever had,’ he gritted, shaking his head to get his hair out of his face. Some still stuck to his sweaty forehead, which you found incredibly hot.

‘Do you have fucking dreams about me often?’

‘Does daydreaming count?’ He huffed a laugh, sliding inside. ‘Then, every day.’

You wanted to respond, but the spots he was now hitting made it impossible to keep holding your moans back. All you could do was purse your lips and cover them with the back of your palm just in case. At some point, your head nearly blew up from how much you wanted to sound the stirring euphoria.

‘I want to hear you when you come,’ he slowed down to get rid of the bigger pillow before leaning in. With your butt slightly elevated he now had the best setting to just ram into you until you couldn’t take it anymore.

His palm assumed its earlier spot over your mouth, allowing you to let go. As you whimpered into it, Baekhyun’s chest rumbled.

‘Agh, baby, just give into it. If you don’t, I can’t promise to pull out before-’

He gasped at how tight you became, and you whimpered again, gripping his shoulder. Your watering eyes didn’t break eye contact, telling him that stopping or slowing down was out of the question. With the sound of your abrupt frenzied breaths on top of everything else, he couldn’t prevent the sensation about to explode in him.

Scrunching his face up trying to delay it a little more, he held his breath, still working his hips to get you there. It was unbearable. He waited so unbelievably long to get you back like this, and then you said you hadn’t been with anyone else since... All of this was too much for him to process.

Just as you put your hand onto his neck, where the veins were the most prominent, he snapped. Eyes locking with yours, he made the decision to quit holding back. The change in his gaze affected you instantly, pushing you right into your orgasm. And there was no stopping for him now, so he simply allowed you to take him with you.

Minutes passed as you just lay there, sweaty and completely spent. You contemplated what happened for a few moments, belatedly scolding yourself for not even trying to avoid getting pregnant again. But you had zero willpower when it came to Baekhyun.

That was most likely how he knocked you up the first time anyways.

‘Damn.’ He scrambled himself off of you and sat back, watching his cum drip out of you as you shifted. ‘Sorry, I couldn’t help it.’

You fussed under his gaze in embarrassment and closed your legs, but he still reached down, smearing his semen between your swollen lips.

‘Once it’s in – it’s in, you know the rule,’ he hummed. ‘Unless you want me to…?’

‘No-’ You blurted out at his suggestion.

He smiled cheekily and then licked the corner of his mouth.

‘Good call. You could never stay quiet when I went down on you.’

You only sighed at this. Why argue? That was an absolute fact. This man used to make you go insane with his tongue. In more ways than one.

‘Would you stop… staring? It’s creepy,’ you squirmed, urging him to lie down.

‘Haven’t seen your pussy for years, why’s that creepy? We’ve missed each other.’

‘You never know when to shut up,’ rolling your eyes, you threw your leg over his to get him closer.

Ignoring the ticklish sensation between your thighs, you leaned in to caress his damp face with your palm. Using the proximity, he kissed you again, slowly this time. Waiting for no longer than two seconds before spoiling the moment.

‘Can’t believe I just fucked a milf.’

You almost roared. His mouth was still great at making you go insane.

‘If I’m a milf what does it make you, a dilf?’

‘Oh,’ his voice acquired a greasy undertone. ‘You can call me daddy any time.’

‘You wish.’

He switched the lights off and lay there silently for a minute, full of himself, and then voiced another of his compulsive thoughts.

‘Are you gonna keep the bra on while you sleep?’

‘Baekhyun.’

‘I just want you to be comfortable…’

‘Will you shut up if I get comfortable?’

‘Mm-yes.’

‘Of course,’ you muttered, getting rid of your lingerie.

‘They are gorgeous,’ he whispered excitedly, putting his palms onto your breasts at once.

You cleared your throat, reminding him of his promise.

‘…and I will enjoy them silently.’ He agreed, only adding under his breath, ‘Until we move in together.’

Masterlist

A/N: Aw, isn’t he cute? Who can ever resist him??🤷🏻‍♀️ Daddy/ hubby Baek is becoming my thing, or maybe I’m just soft lol Anyways, thanks for reading! And you’re always welcome for a chat, I miss interacting with you guuuys!! ❤💔❤

[chosonore]

cynosure

cynosure [noun. one that serves to direct or guide; a center of attraction or attention]

pairing: sukuna/f!reader

summary: in which sukuna re-discovers being human one aspect at a time, through many lifetimes, at the price of losing you over and over.

wordcount: 8.7k

content/warnings: reincarnation au, slow burn but also not really because there's only hints of romance? language, it's not canon at all, just pretend sukuna was never sealed away, lowercase is intended

a/n: this is more self-indulgent tbh sukuna is probably uncharacteristically soft? sometimes i'm reminded of the fact that he used to be human and while we don't exactly know how he became a curse just yet, i kinda felt sad about it lol i'm too sympathetic with everything, it's gonna kill me one day fhuierhfa a lot of these moments are based on my own experiences, where i had to remind myself that even the small things in life are really good and important, especially during the pandemic. that being said, i hope you enjoy and stay safe everyone :) (and please don’t judge me too hard on this lol i haven’t written in like what. six years?)

001.

“oh,” you stared at the tall, pink-haired man in front of you. “i didn’t think anyone would be here around this time…” he stared back at you, not replying nor making any move to scoot over so that you could sit on your bench. it was only then that you noticed the black markings framing his face and adorning his wrists. you were a little dumbfounded - your mother had always said that you had a poor survival instinct. though you supposed that his pink hair eased your nerves a little; surely someone with pink hair couldn’t be as evil. but you couldn’t recall ever seeing someone like this around the proximity of your village. maybe he was a vagrant. 

“i don’t mean to be rude but… that’s my bench and i would appreciate if you could maybe… scooch over?” you asked gingerly, not wanting to upset the stranger. you approached him slowly, grasping your basket tightly. if he got a little rowdy, maybe you could just wack him with the basket, right? although it probably won’t hurt but it surely would stun him long enough for you to run.

“i don’t see why i should move just because it’s your bench,” the stranger answered gruffly, crossing his arms. were you naive or just stupid? “do you not know who you’re talking to, woman?” 

you cocked your head to the side, not sure what he meant. maybe he was one of those famous poets or musicians that your parents liked to talk about. you weren’t entirely sure. even though he sounded annoyed, the look in his eyes didn’t quite match the hostility - he looked rather bored, unamused even, but not hostile. maybe you could humour him a little. “am- am i supposed to know you? i’ve never been outside of the village so i don’t know much. only what the merchants tell me. i apologize if i’ve offended you,” you explained hastily, then pointing at your basket. “i just came here to enjoy the sunrise. um, today is my birthday, so i treated myself to some dessert!”

“if- if you scooch over a litte, i could share some with you…” you tried to bargain with him. now you were truly starting to sound desperate but this was your favourite spot and it was the first time in a while that you had a free day to relax. out of all days, just why did he have to be here now? you’d be damned if you let your day get ruined by this unfriendly stranger. 

“are you trying to bribe me?” the stranger narrowed his eyes at you and you thought this was it. he was going to kill you and bury your body in the forest and your parents would come look for you, only to find your empty basket and then start a huge search party to find you and- the pink haired man moved to the side, refusing to look you in the eyes. “sit.”

you let out a squeak in glee, quickly taking a seat beside him. he watched in silence as you unwrap your desserts, glancing at the objects in question. even though you’d offered to share with him, he didn’t actually expect you to give him some of your food. sukuna was surprised when you handed him a… round squishy thing? 

“what is that? how is that going to satiate me?” he asked, almost offended, which made you giggle. you didn’t reply, instead thrusting the mochi towards him until he begrudgingly took it, closely inspecting it in suspicion. 

“that’s a daifuku mochi. it’s made out of rice flour and filled with red bean paste. but come to think of it… do you even like sweets? i’m sorry if you don’t particularly enjoy it,” you explained and grabbed one as well. you were about to bite into your mochi when you saw the stranger opening his mouth, ready to devour the entire mochi in one go. in horror, you quickly grabbed his wrist to stop him, only to have him suddenly pin you down and tower over you.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry!” you hastily said, now suddenly aware of the dark, threatening aura that he was emitting. maybe he was a killer after all. “i just didn’t want you to eat it in one go! they’re kind of difficult to eat in one go… plus you’re supposed to savour and enjoy it, take your time eating it!” 

sukuna stared at the girl in disbelief, you’d grabbed him out of nowhere just to stop him from eating too fast? not only were you not aware of who he was, you apparently did not know how to be cautious around strangers. it irked him that you were acting like he was a harmless human being. so much so that he briefly contemplated killing you. “who are you to tell me how to eat?” he growled at you, not softening his grip. he saw the panic and fear in your eyes but for some reason, he couldn’t quite put a finger on it, it didn’t fill him with joy as it usually did.

“i’m just telling you how we usually eat mochi!” you harrumphed, now annoyed that he was acting like you just committed murder. “you didn’t know what these were, so i was just trying to explain! food is supposed to be enjoyed, not ravished all at once. you have to appreciate your food because there might be days where you won’t have any. and besides, enjoying and properly tasting your meal is the least you can do to show gratitude to the person who cooked it for you.” sukuna let up and sat back on his previous spot, seemingly accepting your answer. you sat up, adjusting your yukata and pouted at him. what a rude stranger! you at least expected an apology from him but seeing that he was already taking a bite from his mochi, you guessed you should just let it go. it wasn’t worth getting angry over anyways, not on this day.

“why are you looking at me like that, little girl?” sukuna questioned, taking another bite from his mochi. he did actually enjoy it and it took every bone in his body not to hastily eat more and to savour it like you’d told him to. maybe this wasn’t so bad after all, it made him think about his meals a little more. not eating for the sake of eating, but for enjoyment, he mused. sort of like living for enjoyment, not for the sake of living. 

“you never told me your name,” the girl replied innocently. sukuna sighed. so you really weren’t aware of who he was. “my name is y/n! now it’s only fair if you tell me, especially because i shared my food with you. please?”

before sukuna could reply, he sensed someone quickly approaching. they were hiding somewhere in the forest; it likely was a jujutsu sorcerer, trying to exorcise him. he could deal with them later, but not here, not with you around. the girl looked at him in disappointment when he abruptly stood up, turning towards the forest behind them. unfortunately, he had the inkling that you wouldn’t let it go until he answered: “my name is sukuna, king of curses.” your eyes widened in recognition but you didn’t immediately react or scramble away from him, most likely frozen in fear. 

“now go. someone is coming and you do not want to be in the crossfire.”

002.

as a seamstress, you’ve encountered all kinds of customers. ranging from rude and bratty to eternally grateful, you’ve seen it all. your supervisor had always told you to remain calm and polite, to just adhere to their wishes to not cause any ruckus. after all, people of status often assumed that they were untouchable and could treat others poorly. it wasn’t worth the hassle to start a fight with them, you could lose your job after all. there was moments you’d have to stand up for yourself but this wasn’t it. fortunately, your employer paid you well, enough for you to provide for your family. the customers were high-profile after all.

you looked at the clock on the wall, your next customer was supposed to come soon. it was a nobleman that apparently travelled here from far away, having heard that the store offered beautiful, one of a kind fabrics. you just hope that he wasn’t rude and that you could leave in time. you’d been working overtime for weeks now, taking every appointment and customer that you could get. your mother’s birthday was approaching and you’d been saving up to buy some of the soft and silky fabrics to sew her a new yukata. your mother had always sacrificed her own comfort to buy the best items she could afford for your siblings and you and now that you were older, you could finally treat her to something nice as well. your employer was even willing to give you a small discount and you gratefully took up on her offer.

the chime of the doorbell made you look up, the good feeling in your stomach slowly fading when you saw who entered. you were familiar with the customer after all; he was well known in the area, being a rather volatile and sometimes scary aristocrat who had the reputation to be particularly difficult and having outrageous demands. you hastily stood up, brushing the wrinkles out of your clothing and walking over to greet him. you bowed politely, taking the outerwear that he took off and placing it on a nearby armchair. “sir, i’ll bring you a few samples shortly. do you have any colour or pattern preferences?” you asked him, placing a pot of tea and a cup on the small side table for him to enjoy. you made note of his wishes and disappeared in the storage room to pick up the samples. the customer had made himself at home, eyeing you scrutinizingly. he made you queasy, looking so incredibly unfriendly and you could tell that you were not going home early tonight.

you showed each of the fabrics to him, explaining what materials they were made of and what occasions they were good for but with each explanation, he just looks more and more uninterested. not to mention the snarky remarks he made, seemingly not happy of the choices you presented him. you were running out of options and you didn’t know what else to do to please him when suddenly you heard someone enter the shop. both the customer and you looked over confused - you weren’t expecting any more customers today, it was already late after all. a tall, pink-haired man entered the shop, scowling at your customer. you jumped slightly; he looked scary and you were terrified, not sure what to do in this situation. not only were the black markings on his face and body terrifying, there was also a threatening aura surrounding him, dark and slowly spreading out, all your instincts were screaming at you to run. should you politely ask him to leave? he looked like he wouldn’t take it too well. before you could ask him whether he was looking for something, the stranger spoke up: “you know who i am, leave.”

your eyes widened, slowly inching back towards the back of the store. you were not aware of who this man was but by the looks of your pale-faced customer, he surely did. “this is outrageous!” he exclaimed indignantly, jumping out of his seat. “you can’t just burst in here and demand that i leave! i have an appointment! are you aware of how long the waiting list is? this is the finest shop in the entire prefecture and i would rather die than to give up my spot for a scoundrel like you.” the stranger raised his eyebrows at the shorter man, clicking his tongue in annoyance. you slowly reached out to grab your pair of scissors. they probably weren’t of much use but it made you feel more safe, knowing you could at least somehow defend yourself.

“oh? you would rather die? i’m sure that can be arranged,” the stranger threatened and it was with horror that you watched his fingernails, sharp and pointy, grow in size. he wasn’t human, you’d just encountered a monster. he would kill you and it wouldn’t take him much effort to do so, you were sure he could just stab you with those fingernails. your customer squeaked and left the store in panic, slamming the door in the process, while you quickly hid behind the counter. you hoped he would leave you alone, you didn’t want to get involved. this wasn’t your problem, you were innocent and it was an unfortunate coincidence for you to be here. 

“stop hiding,” the stranger commanded, slowly approaching the counter. you peeked from below the counter, holding your breath. what else could he possibly want from you? demons surely didn’t need money. oh god, was he going to kidnap you?

he swiftly rounded the corner and knelt down to take a closer look at you - you couldn’t react fast enough, he’d already grabbed your chin and made you look at him, turning your head from side to side as he examined you. his fingernails were slightly digging into your skin, making your face scrunch up in discomfort. “so it is you,” he exclaimed in a low voice, then abruptly standing back up. you were confused - what did he mean by that? at least he didn’t kill you, at least not yet. but what else could he possibly want from you? “i need a new kimono. that scumbag just left anyways, make one for me instead.”

a kimono? a simple kimono? you couldn’t believe what you just heard. this demon just came in here, threw a fit but all he wanted was a simple kimono? you couldn’t help but scoff at the situation though it probably was difficult to enter a store without people fleeing or refusing to serve him. while he did look human, the markings on his face made it difficult not to feel threatened. but why did he know you? you had never seen this man in your life before. not in passing, not on drawings, nowhere. no matter how hard you wracked your brain, you just couldn’t recall. “d- do you have any- any colour preference?” you questioned him, watching how he took a seat and grabbed himself the cup of tea. 

“white,” he answered curtly, taking a sip from the tea. “i’ll leave everything else up to you.”

you felt uncomfortable but there was nothing else you could do than follow his orders. you grabbed a few plain white fabric samples and slowly inched over to him, holding them out with your trembling hands. “what?” he deadpanned. you huffed in frustration. 

“sir, you should… you should choose the fabric. it’s your kimono after all, you might not like the feeling of the fabric or it might not be a good fit for your everyday life,” you explained.

“i don’t care, just choose whatever. i’m above the comfort you stupid mortals choose.”

“that’s stupid,” the words left your mouth quicker than you could stop yourself and you slapped your hands over your mouth. the stranger looked at you as equally shocked. “i mean- i mean there’s nothing wrong with indulging in comfortable clothes!” you explained quickly, pressing the samples into his hands. “see you wouldn’t like scratchy clothes, right? or fabric that quickly makes you sweat or feel too warm! i always talk to my customers about what kinds of fabrics they would prefer… i believe life is too short to wear ill-fitting clothes or ones that don’t feel comfortable! good clothing should make you feel like… like a warm hug.”

the stranger didn’t look like he understood what you meant, making you scoff again. some people really didn’t care about what they wore and how they looked like and it just bothered you. good quality fabrics and well tailored clothing could make you feel confident and safe, even in the worst situations. how could you possibly relax if your clothing was maybe scratchy or ill-fitting? “i’ll prove it to you!” you exclaimed and left the room to gather your supplies, then coming back to instruct him where and how to stand so you could take his measurements. now that he was towering over you, you were suddenly very aware of how tall and broad he was. you felt like a dwarf next to him. up close, you noticed more details about him. he was attractive, you couldn’t deny that - the long wispy eyelashes, the watchful ruby eyes and his soft-looking pink hair. if he picked up on your staring, he didn’t comment on it.

once you were done taking notes and choosing fabrics, you gave him a slip of paper, noting down time and date for him to come back to pick the kimono up. “as for payment-” you started but the stranger dropped a huge bag of coins on the counter. you gasped, pushing the bag back into his arms. “sir, that’s too much! i’ll calculate the exact price for you but-” 

“take it,” he insisted and pushed it back towards you. “i have enough. you need the money right? see it as a generous tip.” your face flushed, you didn’t even know what to say and instead only profusely thanked him. it was so much money, the tip was enough to cover your family’s expenses for a year.

when sukuna picked up his kimono weeks later, he still didn’t understand what a hassle you made about the choice of fabrics and why you were so diligent in taking the measurements. he was fine with everything as long as he had something to wear in the first place. he didn’t care, he wasn’t a measly human that whined about the mildest inconvenience. in the private of his abode, he tried the kimono on, abruptly halting his movements as soon as the fabric touched his skin. so the girl was right, the fabric did feel incredibly good on his skin. it was very smooth and silky, a little cool on his skin. very lightweight but not flimsy. the kimono wasn’t too short and fit his tall statue well, you really did a good job he supposed. he glanced at himself in the mirror. it did look good on him, even the matching colours and patterns were chosen well. you really were a good seamstress, no wonder everyone was flocking to the store.

now that sukuna wore the kimono, he suddenly didn’t want to take it off. it was comfortable and soft, reminding him of you.

003.

your favourite spot was one below a tree, on top of a hill where you could see everything. the small city below, the horizon, the stars in the sky. you often came here when you felt like your life came crashing down your shoulders. it didn’t feel like your own anymore, not with your future already laid out for you without you being able to control it. complaining had always felt redundant and ungrateful to you - you had everything you needed, a loving family, food on the table and your family was wealthy enough to not have to worry about money. but in return, they expected everything from you, their eldest daughter. sometimes, the pressure was too much for you but they expected you to do as they say. everything was well until they announced that you were to get married and they’d found a suitor for you. you couldn’t even protest, the decision had already been made behind your back and you couldn’t refuse. you sniffled quietly, wrapping the blanket tighter around you. you didn’t know this man; he might be a complete asshole and not treat you well at all.

the wind was biting at your skin, cold and unrelenting, and yet you felt safe here, away from all your worries. the starry sky made you feel like your worries were miniscule, reminding you that there was so much more out there for you to discover. you’d always liked the sight of stars, they always made you happy. on lucky days, you’d even get to see a few shooting stars. you’d close your eyes and clasp your hands, hopeful that whatever wish you made would come true. the crunch of leaves and twigs made you look up in alarm, scared that your parents had found out you left the estate and now found your secret hiding spot. you couldn’t quite make out the figure in the darkness, only being able to tell that a tall person was approaching you.

you were wary, inching towards the tree behind you to hide but froze when a voice rang out: “i know you’re there. i was looking for you all over the city, little one.” a man clad in a kimono was coming closer, stopping right in front of you and looking at you in disdain. your eyes lit up as you recognized him; you’d met sukuna a couple of times in the city before, mostly when you went to pick up some books to read. he’d been there one time when you were choosing your books and scoffed at your choice. you’d ask him about it, wondering why he thought that your choice was a bad one. he went on and on about how historically inaccurate the book was and that the information about curses was wrong and how an author like that should be ashamed to even publish it. you appreciated the dialogue, you liked having someone to discuss with you. your parents didn’t like that you read fantasy books and books that talked about supernatural events and beings, dubbing them as nonsense and that you should focus on your studies instead.

after your third meeting, sukuna had finally opened up and told you his name. your meetings became more frequent then but you’d never met anywhere other than the bookstore. you were surprised that he even found you here; you decided not to question him though, sukuna always seemed to know where you were, always sensing where you were headed. truthfully, you looked forward to spending time with him. he was attentive and always listened to you, barely ever talking. oddly enough, it made you feel like finally, someone was paying attention to your thoughts and needs. lately, a heavy feeling in your chest was always accompanying you when you met up with him. it was a dull ache, some kind of yearning that you couldn’t quite put a finger on. it didn’t help that you felt like you’d met him before, but you really couldn’t recall where you had met him before. “what are you doing here?” you questioned him, scooting to the side to offer him some space on the picnic blanket.

unceremoniously, he sat down and glanced over to you. he didn’t reply, simply shrugging. “why didn’t you bring a coat?” you asked another question instead, frowning at his choice of clothing. aside from his kimono, he wasn’t wearing anything else. “you’ll catch a cold!” you scolded him, swatting his arm before tugging on his sleeve and signalling him to move closer to you so you could wrap the blanket around his shoulders. you struggled a little to reach him, almost stumbling - sukuna’s arm immediately shot out to hold you so you wouldn’t fall. your cheeks flushed red and you were thankful that it was dark. you cleared your throat and sat back down, snuggling into the blanket and his side. 

“by the way, i read that book you disliked the other day,” you told him, rambling about the contents of the book and what you thought of it, all while sukuna simply listened to you. he only spoke up when he challenged your way of thinking or to agree, otherwise staying silent and just watching you.

suddenly you grasped his hand in excitement, pointing at the sky. “oh, oh! look!!” sukuna’s gaze followed the direction you pointed to, spotting some shooting stars flitting across the sky. “you have to wish for something!” you squeezed his hand and nudged him, then squeezing your eyes shut to prepare yourself to wish. 

“what would i even wish for?” sukuna frowned and pinched your cheek. “what do you wish for?”

“you’re not supposed to share wishes! if you do, they won’t come true,” you argued back and stuck your tongue out at him. sometimes, he really was too skeptical, never indulging in harmless fun. it might be childish to believe in these things but sometimes that little spark of hope was all you need to wait for better things. you sighed when the shooting stars disappeared and let go of his hand, screaming internally. did you really grab his hand like that? you sure hoped you didn’t unsettle him. 

“i don’t think i told you, but my parents have found a suitor for me,” you confided in him quietly, staring at the grass near your feet. “i’m supposed to marry him next year but… i don’t want to, i don’t know this person and i just want to live my life with no one controlling it.”

“i see. there’s still time to get to know him, isn’t there?” you knew sukuna was trying to console you but it wasn’t exactly working. your words frustrated you a little; subconsciously, you’d hoped that he shared the same opinion and maybe, just maybe, help you do something reckless. 

“i don’t want to get to know him,” you huffed and crossed your arms (sukuna thought you looked like a petulant child). “i… i already like someone.”

“you do?” sukuna looked at you surprised and that was the first time that he’d shown any other emotion than indifference. you nodded shyly, hoping that maybe he’d get the hint. you weren’t confident just yet to confess to him but maybe he’d get it from your description alone? 

“i recently met him and i really like that he makes me feel like, you know, important and always pays attention to me. he doesn’t talk a lot but i think that that’s okay, we still have a silent mutual understanding, i guess. and i also think he looks really handsome! although i-”

sukuna had enough of your rambling, he felt annoyed that you were telling him about your stupid crush. whatever boy you had a crush on, they would never amount to the likes of him. why would you look at someone else when he was right there? right here, with you. sukuna reached over and grabbed your cheeks to make you look at him before pressing his lips on yours. you froze for a short moment before returning the kiss, holding onto his kimono when he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer. why would you pay attention to someone else when he could be with you? for the first time in his existence as a curse, he briefly felt human again. maybe shooting stars were the key to wishes coming true after all; in this moment he wouldn’t mind being human again, being alone with her with only the stars as your witnesses.

004.

gradually you were really starting to dislike your night shifts. usually, you’d ask to cover them because it was quiet, there were no nosy customers and the only people that ever came in so late were sleep deprived students that pulled all nighters to write papers or study. well it used to be that way until a group of, presumably, freshmen started coming more and more frequently - they wouldn’t have been so annoying if it wasn’t for them talking and laughing obnoxiously loud. they would stay until late in the night and kept ordering drinks. the audacity to have oddly specific orders, to watch you like a hawk while you were preparing their drinks, it made your blood boil. to top it all off, one of the guys kept flirting with you, even when you’d already made it obvious that you were not interested at all. no matter how uninterested and abrasive you acted, the guy would not leave you alone and his friends would try to act as wingmen. clueless and horrible wingmen.

you were glad that you were never alone during your night shifts, depending on the weekday you’d work in a team of two or threes. whenever they could, they’d cover for you and you were thankful but also felt bad, which usually resulted in you taking over anyways. you placed the basket on the counter, grabbing a towel to dry the cups you’d just washed. the chime of the doorbell made you look up, your heartbeat speeding up at the sight of sukuna coming in. like the group of freshmen, sukuna had recently started to visit the café more and more. he usually only came late at night and he probably was your favourite regular. scratch that, he was your favourite, no one was as calm as him and he never caused trouble. yeah, maybe those night shifts weren’t all that bad, you thought to yourself. you looked forward to him visiting every time you had a night shift.

“hi sukuna,” you greeted him softly and gave him a smile, placing the cup on a shelf. “the usual?” he took a seat near the bar, placing his wallet on the counter and taking off his coat. sukuna was peculiar, not particularly in a bad way. you always thought that he was a little mysterious. he always wore the same kimono - who wears kimonos everyday in this day and age anyways - the same white kimono but maybe he just owned mulitple of them. you could never tell what he was thinking and he had never shown any emotions other than brief moments of bliss when he was having his usual order. his order had always and would probably always be a simple black coffee and some daifuku mochi. it was a weird combo, you mused, but somehow fit him. it was a sharp contrast, just like his tattoos and the soft pink hair. you finished up the order, pushing the cup of coffee and the plated mochi towards him - you’d sneaked another one in just for him, knowing how much he seemed to like them. sukuna looked up at you, ready to protest but you just brushed it off, telling him that it was okay.

out of the corner of your eye you saw your not so secret admirer approaching with an empty cup and you instantly knew you were bound to be annoyed again. you sighed, returning to the cash register to take his order. “so, when am i finally going to get to take you out?” the guy asked, leaning on the counter to get closer to you. you gritted your teeth, ignoring his question and instead took the empty cup, placing it in the kitchen sink behind you. 

“oh come on, don’t ignore me, baby,” he whined, not letting up until you answered. you were annoyed, so so annoyed. your co-workers were currently organizing the inventory so you were all by yourself - usually that would be fine but you’d had enough. this week has already been awful and you just wanted to be left alone. you glanced around, spotting sukuna on the side. suddenly a lightbulb went on in your head and you faced your admirer confidently. 

“i’m sorry but please stop flirting with me and trying to ask me out,” you started and pointed to sukuna who was innocently taking a bite from his mochi. “i already have a boyfriend and i don’t think he appreciates you cornering me like this. you being this persistent is really annoying, girls don’t like that.”

upon hearing his name, sukuna looked up and as if on cue, he glared at your admirer. “yeah, i suggest you fuck off. get a hint, you creep, she’s mine,” he snarled, making a move towards the other guy who was already scrambling to get away and profusely apologizing. mine, mine, mine. his words kept repeating in your head, your heart squeezing painfully. was he interested in you? would he ever come to see you more than just a barista? you sighed in both relief and affliction, trudging over to sukuna. 

“i’m sorry i dragged you into this,” you apologized embarrassed, shoulders drooping and you stared at the floor just so he wouldn’t see your reddened cheeks. “he’s been pestering me so much and i kind of thought that that was the only way to get him to back off.”

“i don’t mind,” sukuna replied curtly, resuming his seat. he didn’t say anything else and you slightly panicked, you wanted to keep talking to him, stay in his company for a little longer. 

“ah uhm sukuna, i want to thank you! if… if you don’t mind, i would like to treat you to another drink?” you suggested, your face now beet red. this was the most straightforward you had ever been with a guy, usually too shy to make a move. in distance you could hear the chime of the doorbell and the doors slamming, indicating that the group had left. you were alone. sukuna didn’t reply at first and you were sure you’d fucked up and got ready to backtrack and laugh it off when he nodded. 

“go ahead, little one,” he nodded towards the counter. “you choose the drink.”

you didn’t know why sukuna kept calling you little one but for some reason, you didn’t mind. it did however make your heart ache in what you could only describe as melancholy. you weren’t sure why. while you started brewing some green tea for the two of you, the sound of thunder rumbled in the distance. the pitter patter of raindrops against the glass front was the only sound audible in the entire café. sukuna hadn’t uttered another word, not even making a sound of acknowledgement when you handed him the cup of tea and sat next to him. 

“you didn’t bring an umbrella,” you noted, looking out of the window. it was raining heavily, with no signs of it stopping anytime soon. “i guess you’ll have to stay here for a little longer, otherwise you’ll get sick. i hope you aren’t sick of me though.”

sukuna took a sip of his tea. “i don’t mind your company,” he replied, looking at you. you couldn’t tell what he was thinking but you sincerely hoped he wasn’t joking. hearing that gave you a little hope. 

“i like moments like this,” you confessed to him, clutching the warm cup with your sweater paws. “having a warm cup of tea and watching the rain from the comfort of your home. or in this case, a café. the sound of rain is really calming, isn’t it? makes you forget about all your worries for a while, it’s just you and your cup of tea.”

again, sukuna didn’t reply for a while. you thought you’d bored him to death with your monologue until he spoke up: “i don’t see how it’s any different from having a cup at any time of the day.” your cup was placed back on the counter. you frowned, not sure how to explain it to him. in moments like these, sukuna seemed to be something of an old being that has seen everything, feelings now dull and locked away. 

“well, see it like this. making yourself a cup of tea or coffee everyday is a normal thing to do, right? it happens almost automatically because it’s just part of your daily routine, you like how it tastes, it makes you feel more awake or helps you sleep. but… but you never really take your time to enjoy it, right?”

sukuna was contemplating, you almost giggled at the little frown on his face. but you were glad that he was willing to listen to you and discuss it with you, instead of dismissing the topic entirely. “but what does that have to do with rain?” he finally asked. 

you pointed outside. “you wouldn’t really go out in this weather, right? not if you have any emergencies or urgent matters to attend to. and same goes for everyone else; it kind of… kind of forces you to stay inside, to fully enjoy your warm beverage. the sound of rain is pretty calming, it’s some kind of whitenoise that might block out intrusive thoughts, at least it does that for me. so it’s only you, the sound of rain and your cup of tea. for a few minutes, you can just relax and have a moment for yourself.”

sukuna still didn’t quite understand how humans worked. it’s been hundreds of years since he’s ceased to be human, he’s forgotten what is what like being human. what human emotions entailed. but he agreed, it has been a while since he’s felt at ease and peaceful even. it was a moment of bliss, a moment that caused a flare-up of old, buried feelings inside of him.

004.1

you still hadn’t mustered up the courage to actually ask sukuna out after you dragged him into that fake dating-situation. he did still come late at night, being the most loyal customer of the café at this point. it was almost… almost as if he’d seeked out your company. though he did tell you that he didn’t mind your company; your ego deflated a little. sukuna still wore his kimono but paired it with a thick winter coat - it was winter after all and the weather had been very extreme. the ground was covered in inches of snow and you hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. sukuna insisted on walking you home when your shift ended. you weren’t sure why because he’d never offered to do so before. you were thankful though since it was still snowing and the streets were completely empty; even though the snow looked beautiful, it was still a little eerie to walk home in this weather. especially since a lot of busses weren’t running anymore due blocked roads.

“sukuna, aren’t you cold?” you asked as you switched off the lights and fumbled with your keys. finally finding the right one, you closed up, shoving the keys back in your back and fishing out your gloves. “you don’t even wear gloves!” you gasped when you saw his bare hands, handing him one of yours. sukuna looked at you as if you were crazy.

he wasn’t cold but he couldn’t tell you that, couldn’t let you know that he was a curse. but handing him one of you gloves? you were too nice, always thinking of others first and never being selfish. sighing, he put on the glove that was uncomfortably small but he’d endure it for your sake.

“it’s been a while since we’ve had this much snow,” you mused and took a few steps around, giggling at the sound of crunching snow beneath your feet. sukuna simply followed you, looking comical with the bright yellow and tiny glove on his hand. you smiled at him, admiring how etheral he looked underneath the streetlights with the snowflakes flurrying around him and some getting stuck in his hair. your heart suddenly ached, a far away memory emerging. it was blurry and unclear, a cold night similar as this underneath the stars and a face staring at you. you couldn’t tell who it was nor were you sure whether it was just a case of déjà vu.

“you know, this kind of calls for a snowball fight,” you grinned at sukuna mischievously and grabbed some snow, beginning to form it into a ball. he raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, looking at you defiantly. 

“i’m not going to indulge in childish business like th-” he didn’t get to finish his sentence as you hurled the snowball at him and giggled like a maniac as it hit his shoulder. you quickly hid behind a bush as you quickly tried to form another, enjoying the dumbfounded look on sukuna’s face. clearly, he didn’t expect you to follow through with your plan and was caught by surprise. “oh you’re on,” he growled after a moment and grabbed himself some snow as well. you quickly threw another snowball at him, this time only being able to hit his leg. eyes widening at the sight of sukuna raising his arm to throw his snowball at you, you let out a squeak and dove behind a tree - the snowball still hit you square on your back, making you yelp at the cold feeling.

for minutes you could only hear the crunches of snow, loud laughter and snowballs hitting objects. you sat on a bench, exhausted from running and ducking away and your belly was starting to hurt from all the laughter. sukuna caught up to you, juggling a snowball in his hands. “you gonna give up?” he asked, a smirk gracing his lips. clearly he was winning, being able to aim a lot better than you. you missed him most of the time but had fun regardless. 

“never!” you replied, holding out your arms to defend yourself from the incoming snowball. it never came and instead sukuna was inching closer with an evil look in his eyes. oh no. what was he up to? you yelped when you realized that he was aiming for your neck, jumping up to get away from him. sukuna was quick to react and grabbed your arm, pulling you back into his chest and holding you close, smushing the snow against your neck. “ew sukuna, stop!” you laughed and squirmed in his arms until he threw the snowball away, rubbing your back gently. 

“that was really cold, you know,” you pouted, burying your face in his chest. 

he wrapped his arms around you, sighing quietly. “i know, i know, sorry.”

you swore that you felt his lips on the crown of your head.

005.

you were, undoubtedly, lost. your phone was about to die and you were stranded in the middle of the city, not sure where to go. to be fair, it was very, very easy to get lost here and it was your first time visiting. your grandparents lived here and while you’ve visited before, you couldn’t quite remember anything anymore. you were a child back then. and the city had drastically changed too, making it difficult for you to navigate yourself around. though your poor sense of direction was probably at fault as well. you sighed, trying to call your grandparents again. no one was picking up. you turned your phone off to save some of the battery, maybe you could call them later.

luckily, you’d brought your cameras so you could at least keep yourself busy until someone freed you from this misery. you walked towards the nearby shrine; there didn’t seem to be any people here, it was very quiet aside from the sound of cicadas. you took a few photos before continuing your journey, soon finding yourself standing on top of the hill. the view from here was breathtaking, even more so because the sun was starting to set, painting the sky in a beautiful yellow and orange hue. you fumbled with your camera again, trying to take a photo when someone suddenly moved into your shot. you paused and looked at the person in front of you who was staring at you as well. considering they were wearing a kimono, you assumed that they must work here. did you make a mistake? maybe you weren’t supposed to take photos and this person came to tell you off.

“i’m sorry!” you said quickly, quickly shoving your camera in your bag. “am i allowed to take photos here?” 

the stranger frowned at you, clearing his voice before replying: “how am i supposed to know? i don’t work here.” 

you groaned, rubbing your face in embarrassment. of course you’d say something wrong, you always did. and now you probably annoyed him too - he looked really annoyed. but since he wasn’t working here and there was no one else around, you guessed you could take photos after all. there was no one to tell you off anyways. however, the stranger was still standing there, looking at you in what seemed like interest. you felt awkward just continuing your endeavors without acknowledging him, so you asked: “do you live here? i’m just visiting, so i’m not very familiar with the city.”

“you could say that,” the stranger simply replied. when he didn’t say anything else, you decided that it probably was okay if you just continued taking photos without acknowledging him. though it did make you queasy, knowing that he was just watching you. didn’t he have anything else to do? a few minutes passed. he sighed and walked over, pointing at your camera. “what are you doing?” you were surprised at how straightforward he was, not expecting to engage in a conversation with you. maybe people in this city were just extra talkative and you’d have to get used to it. your grandparents never told you about this though. 

“ah i’m visiting my grandparents here and i thought i’d document my stay here. so i can look at these photos whenever i want and just have the memories on photo,” you explained and rummaged in your bag to show him the polaroids you took earlier. “i particularly like polaroids because you can’t edit or change them… whatever moment you capture, it’s true to what you saw. there’s no need to make photos beautiful when they hold a special place in your heart and are tied to a specific memory.”

the stranger nodded, pointing to your polaroid camera. “and you take them with this device?” his choice of words startled you a little, he didn’t seem to be familiar with this type of camera which you found odd. everyone knew what these were nowadays, almost everyone owned them. but you didn’t want to judge him or make him feel stupid though, patiently explaining to him how the cameras worked and where he could purchase them. he seemed to be really interested, closely inspecting the camera, turning it around and fumbling with the buttons. only after you finished rambling, you realize how much time had passed - it was almost dark now and your grandparents were probably worried sick. your phone was turned off the entire time and you forgot to call them. 

“excuse me, i really need to call my grandparents!” you looked at him apologetically, leaving him with your photos and camera. normally, you would be very wary; normally, you wouldn’t even show anyone your photos, rather keeping them to yourself because they were your precious memories. but something about him resonated with you, he seemed familiar and yet he didn’t.

you found a spot a few meters away from him calling your grandparents and profusely apologizing to them for not calling sooner. you promised them to wait at a popular and well known spot nearby so they could come to pick you up since it was already getting late, then hung up. to your relief, the stranger was still standing there, watching you intently. “thank you,” you smiled as he handed you your belongings. “my grandparents are picking me up soon, thank you for keeping me company. won’t you be going home soon?” 

suddenly his face expression turned rather… sad? somewhat melancholic and you feared you’d said something wrong until he shook his head. “i have to go somewhere later. let me walk you for a bit, it is dark after all.” you looked at him a little dumbfounded, not expecting him to suggest something like that.

“oh you don’t have to! i’ll totally be fine, i-” “i want to. let’s go,” he interrupted you, already beginning to move. you hastily followed him, clutching your bag in your hands. the entire walk was rather silent, none of you saying a word. it wasn’t a tense and uncomfortable silence though - you very much enjoyed his presence. it made you feel safe too, even though you’d told him earlier that you didn’t mind walking by yourself, it was comforting to know that he was by your side. you were in an unfamiliar city after all. hell you even got lost, so who were you kidding. you wondered who the stranger was, what his story was, what his personality was like. this was a one time meeting though, so you didn’t really have any hope of meeting him again. that was very unlikely.

“okay this is the spot. my grandparents are going to pick me up here, so it’s okay if you go,” you pointed at a café and gave him a reassuring smile. he didn’t look impressed. “o-oh wait, i need to thank you somehow.” you held a finger up to signal him to wait for a bit and fished out a polaroid you’d taken earlier. it was a simple shot, only the temple, bits of the trees and the sunset in the background. but you thought it was appropriate, the two of you had shared this moment after all. 

“here, this is for you. it’s not a lot but i guess… it’s a really nice photo and maybe the start of your collection, if you decide to get a polaroid camera?” he took the photo from you, inspecting it before nodding and thanking you. he looked like he was about to say something else but was interrupted by some bright car lights and the sound of honks.

“ah, i have to go! it was nice meeting you,” you bid farewell to him and waved, running towards the car. sukuna watched your figure retreat, arms dropping to his sides.

006.

it was so cold, so incredibly cold. you really hated disliked these long winters, the sky was constantly dull and grey, the days were short and you hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. it made you feel sluggish and unmotivated, you were just hoping that spring was coming earlier this year. you yearned for sunshine and warmth, to be able to go outside without freezing and just spend more time outside. regardless, you held onto your daily walks because they gave you some peace of mind in your hectic life. you were approaching the last year of your studies and the amount of exams, assignments and your looming thesis were just suffocating you. but soon, soon you were done and could finally take a breather, until then, the only moments of relaxation you’d have were your walks.

despite the cold, there were a lot of people near the park; children who were engaging in snowball fights, elderly who were walking their dogs and some joggers too. your eyes were wandering around, watching all the busy people around. too absorbed in your task, you didn’t notice the man in front of you until you bumped into him. you quickly removed your earbuds and apologized to him, about to continue walking when he suddenly grabbed your arm, holding you back. you were confused, did you maybe accidently hurt him when you bumped into him? you looked him up and down to make sure that he was okay; there really wasn’t anything wrong. he let go of your arm. “is something wrong?” you asked concerned and turned to him. 

“y/n?” 

you froze at the mention of your name. how did he know you?

“who are you? i’ve never met you before.”

in all your past lifetimes, you’d taught him how to be human again, how there was value and joy in even the littlest of things. with each iteration of your existence, sukuna thinks that he’s learned to love you more than the last. when he sees how at ease you are spending time with him, a curse that is feared by everyone, he contemplates confessing to you. but something holds him back, it’s the fear; the fear that you won’t return his feelings. he’s seen you be with someone else, see you fall in love countless of times. he yearns for it to be him, hoping that you do choose him, love him. for thousands of years, he’s spent his time finding you - your reincarnations don’t recognize him and it pains him to get to know you anew each time but nothing pains him as much as his existence. he wants to hold you, be yours, grow old with you.

for the first time in thousands of years, sukuna wishes to be human again.

ps.: i am so sorry if i hurt your heart there omg

[deidearly]

Kakashi Relationship Headcanons

Guess who’s back with another relationship headcanon today? And as usual, I had a good time writing this one even got slightly carried away, hehe. Enjoy! XX. 

Well— Hatake Kakashi, huh? Dating him would be such a roller coaster ride, tbh. It’s like, one moment he’s so clingy, fragile, so afraid of losing you— but one moment he’s like, “Just do what you need to do. I don’t really care.” This is due to the fact that he’s got a lot of things in his mind and occasionally struggled to sort out his priorities. 

Anyway, of course you’ve complained about his ‘reading-smut-in-public’ issue, especially when you’re together. You two would come up with an agreement somehow. But to piss you off, he’d pretend like you’re the one who’s obsessed with reading smuts.

You’re browsing for some important books and he playfully yelled, “Y/N! Come here, it’s your favorite book— Icha Icha Tactics! My, I know you’ve had four books, but another one won’t hurt, right? Since you love it that much!” making everyone in the bookstore giggled.

He received “Y/N Signature Punch” that day.

To your surprise, he’s not very secretive about his relationship with you. In fact, you’ve caught him frequently use you as an excuse for him to escape some unwanted occasions.

Let’s say Gai was asking Kakashi to fight him like usual— and he wasn’t having it that day. “Gai, with all respect— I would gladly accept your challenge. But can’t you feel the springtime of romance youth is blooming? I must see Y/N immediately.”

Gai’s tearing up.

Don’t worry, he actually went to your place.

“Yo. Can we hang out? I just told Gai that I would come to your place. Please say ‘yes’ to make me less of a jerk, will you?”

Would totally show up in front of your place at an ungodly hour.

At first it surprised you but now you’re used to it.

You just finished your mission, it went pretty well but you felt there were some wasted chances due to your captain’s miscalculation. It’s nearly 2 AM but you caught yourself wide awake, reviewing back your battle– only to got distracted by a knock on your bedroom’s window. Instead of turning your head in surprise, you already knew who it was. To have a little fun for yourself, you ignored the sound, which was later followed by a second knock. Walking over to the window, you saw a silver-haired man with a mask. Although half of his face was covered, it’s obvious that a smile was apparent. “Yo.” he greeted, but you replied with a sigh. “You could actually knock on the door and I’d let you in through the door. It’s something normal people would do, Kakashi.” you grumbled, opening the window for him to get in. “Ah, spare me the lecture!”

So, reverse psychology works best for Kakashi. Like the Icha Icha Tactics– the more you ignore his behavior, he would actually try not to read his book in public like you told him to. But the more you complain, he’d read it in places where he shouldn’t be reading it at all. This method works in almost every cases.

You’ve been dating for weeks, but you haven’t seen his face.

Yes, when kissing, too.

You’ve had enough of kissing fabric. 

You had planned to make a dinner together at his place. He was preparing the dishes and you’re about to finish your cooking, when he suddenly asked, “Hey, Y/N. Have you ever wondered what would I look like under this mask?” You were dying to know actually. So, now you’re stuck with two options: (a) be honest about it, (b) pull out another reverse psychological answer— and you chose the latter. “Huh? Not really,” you shrugged, “I don’t really care so it’s not like I’m eager to see it.” and of course, this was a lie. Kakashi went silent for a while. “Anyway, dinner’s re—“ you swore you could’ve dropped the whole pan when you saw an unfamiliar presence. “Kakashi?” you asked hesitantly. The man looked up with a questioning look, “Why are you blushing?” he replied casually.

“ANYONE WITH A DECENT EYESIGHT WOULD BLUSH TOO, YOU STUPID.”

He’s honestly so heavenly to look at.

Sometimes it’s just too overwhelming to see his whole face, you thought.

It’s safe to say that it’s a privilege to be able to see his face. But due to his immense charm, you’d prefer to have him with a mask on.

“Y/N, I feel naked without my mask—“ , “And I honestly feel like I’m being forced to see an illicit nudity, too. Put your mask on, it’s fine honestly.”

He’s been very good at his job for almost his whole life, a fine shinobi. So, he’s rarely exposed to mundane things, moreover a relationship. Thus, making him quite restrained in expressing himself. Plus, he was labelled with some negative titles, saying how cold-blooded he was and he just decided to live with it. This, obviously, requires a lot of patience.

But he’s determined to change, the first step he took was letting you in— into his life.

It started rocky, though.

He’d say something like how he didn’t care much about you and sadly, he really didn’t.

But as the time went by he realized how your presence has been the one that helped him through it. How you’ve always been there to comfort him, by listening to him, giving him a lot of supports, or simply by reminding him that he’s not completely alone.

And when that moment came, he’s sworn to protect you with all his might.

He had a lot of nightmares, he still does, unfortunately. But when you’re around, your presence eases him up a little.

When you’re not around, however, he’d rather spend all night unhealthily tiring himself until he fall asleep.

His personal favorite would be curling up next to you with his hand around your waist while hiding his face near the crook of your neck as he’s giving you some soft neck kisses.

Again, NECK KISSES.

He had a hard time trying to open up himself fully to you and this applies to romantic gestures, I believe. He surely would take his time to explore you, what you like, and what he likes.

Would shower you with kisses, all over your face without missing a spot. He greatly admires every inches of yourself. 

Body worship, oof.

Lowkey (semi highkey) protective.

Lowkey (semi highkey) a show-off.

Would straight up jump to save you if it’s necessary.

And since he’s a show-off, he lowkey loves PDA— but the soft ones, of course. You two would always get spotted together. He would casually sling his arm around your shoulder or lazily has his hand wrapped around your waist.

Favorite time to spend with you is training together. No matter how many times you’ve told him to “fight with an intent to win” he simply refuses— saying how, he’s “far too powerful” for you.

But deep down he just doesn’t want to hurt you…

Chatting in the middle of a training

“Tsunade-sama hasn’t assigned me any missions lately *throws kunai*” , “Maybe if you threw your kunai accurately, she will. *dodge kunai*” , “Kakashi, shut your pretty mouth up. *throws MORE kunai aggressively*”

When you turned him down while he was showing off his new tricks, though, it weirdly turned him on.

He loves someone powerful, with a right amount of cocky.

Doesn’t talk big. He’s a man of action— his action speaks louder than words!

Doesn’t spoil you that much, though. Because it’s actually him who needs to be spoiled.

Really loves it when you trace your fingers all over his skin— it’s intimately soft, he claimed.

LOVES YOUR SCENT. Has it memorized probably.

He’d prefer someone independent. Someone who could actually take care of themselves instead of relying on him completely. 

Anyone too childish would remind him of Team 7, tbh.

Speaking of Team 7, they would probably be the one to get introduced to you.

Naruto was so shocked to find out that his sensei was capable to develop a romantic feeling towards someone. But he had his doubt— do you really know Kakashi? He started to bombard you with questions to test your knowledge.

“So, do you know what’s Kakashi Sensei’s favorite—“ , “I’ve seen his face. Multiple times.” , “YOU WHAT?”

Complained and sulked about it, “Kakashi Sensei, we’ve trained together for years. How could you?!”

Sakura was confused.

“How? I know he’s probably very handsome under that mask but come on, Y/N, reading smut in public? That’s an absolute no.”

On the contrary, Sasuke was thrilled, internally.

“Yeah. Finally. Old man has someone to annoy besides us. About time.”

He has a pretty bad behavior, too. Unlike Gaara, who’d put an emotionless facade when he’s only in the Kazekage mode, Kakashi would treat you just how he feels like doing it that day. 

Let’s be real, he has so many bottled up feelings inside his heart so it’s not a surprise that someday, somehow, a random painful emotion just hit him— hard, and he shut himself out.

The hospital is the place you immediately visit right after Kakashi’s arrival after a mission because you know he’d be there— reading his book with a few bruises here and there. But this time was a bit different. When he’s hospitalized, he would whine about you not being able to stay more than an hour— but right now you’re puzzled, since he’s been completely silent and avoiding you, answering your questions with a mere shrugs.

Tsunade told you that the mission went pretty well, thanks to Kakashi for eliminating all the enemies on the field, singlehandedly. You automatically knew that it must brought up his past traumas. “Kakashi, it’s not your fault.” you decided to speak, earning a glance from Kakashi, but that’s it. “It’s a mission and you protected all of your comrades!”

“I killed them, Y/N. I didn’t have to, but I did.” he said, with his eyes still glued elsewhere. “Every time I look at my hands, I feel dirty. It reminded me of that—“, “Kakashi, look at me.”

You moved closer to his bed, reaching out your hand and traced your fingers softly on his face. His cheeks were cold, and you could clearly see how he was slightly trembling with teary eyes. “Kakashi, if you didn’t do it— it could’ve been your own comrades. Now they’re safe and sound, thanks to you.”, you paused as he slowly began to move his sight to you. “And if I could meet you way sooner, I would remind you every day that it’s never your fault— it’s never been. You’re a good person, Kakashi. I, and all of us, are forever thankful for the things you’ve done.” you whispered, now wiping a few tears that fell down to his cheeks. A weak smile started to bloom, “I’m forever thankful for you as well, Y/N.”

[mqnasluvr]

skinship headcanons | genshin impact

pairings; jean x gn!reader, amber x gn!reader, albedo x gn!reader

mentioned; kaeya, lisa, huffman, sucrose

warnings; suggestive themes ( jean ), all lowercase, not proofread

word count; 1.7k but half of it is albedo

jean

jean is not the touchiest person out there, but she does enjoy holding you. not too big on pda either; the most you’ll get out of her in public is maybe a quick smooch on the cheek and hand holding🛐 other than that, shes quite reserved.

her hugs are very comforting, but the first couple of times it was awkward on her part. she was used to giving barbara and klee hugs, but this was different. she wasn’t sure where to put her arms, and if anything she got more frustrated the more she hesitated.

once she grows accustomed to it, she’ll be fine. she enjoys the warmth and innocence of hugs, especially if you’re taller than her.

like i said, in public she isnt very touchy. while running errands she does keep you close though, and enjoys holding your hand more and anything.

behind closed doors shes a little bit bolder, but still shy overall. she’s not sure if she’s moving too fast for you so she waits until you initiate any type of physical contact, then takes it from there herself. it took her a long time before she managed to get the courage to kiss you tbh

one time when you two were in her office, amber walked in on you “distracting” jean from her work.

“y/n, i have to get back to work, please,” jean adverted her eyes from your gaze, embarrassed. she kept looking at the door, mentally asking herself if the door was locked or not and getting more nervous as the seconds passed.

you sat straddled on the young womans lap, her hands loosely placed on your hips. holding her face in your hands, you guided her face back to yours. “you work for way too long,” you frowned. “and i’m bored. there’s nothing to do in here.”

“the library is just across the hall—“

“if i read another book my brain will implode.” jean sighed and shook her head.

“please indulge in me just this once? please jean?” she stared at you blankly, her resolve quickly deteriorating. a couple of kisses couldn’t hurt, could it? she looked up at the clock in the corner of the room, then back at you.

sighing for the umpteenth time that day, she nodded. “just for a little while-“

before she could finish speaking, you pressed your lips to hers hurriedly, not wanting to waste any time. jean barely ever separated herself from her work, and refused to accept help from anyone else. you almost never had time alone with the acting grand master— you weren’t going to miss your chance now.

the kiss was not heated whatsoever, just very.. clumsy. and needy. on your part, at least. jean tried her best to slow you down, gripping your hips as her face heated up.

“jean, lisa needs you for somethi- oh,” amber nearly dropped the papers in her hands, immediately covering her eyes with it instead. you whipped your head around and stared at the girl wide-eyed before she spoke up again. “d-did i come at a bad time? i am so sorry, i’ll um. i’ll go now.”

jean couldnt look her in the eyes for WEEKS

it was painful

but overall, she likes physical affection, shes just nervous :,)

amber

amber LOVES touching you!! she’s 100% okay with pda. she isnt as forward as maybe kaeya or lisa, but she’s still rather bold. sometimes she forgets youre in public too, which ends up drawing a lot of attention to the both of you.

when you two go out on dates she is always touching you. hand in hand, arm around waist, whatever. theres always some type of physical contact, no matter what.

it’s so PAINFULLY obvious that you two are dating but for some reason she didn’t think that anyone knew ?? one time huffman saw yall kissing in an alleyway u really aren’t slick🤨

she loves cheek and forehead kisses, but likes receiving them more than giving really. shes a hyper one, and these kisses fluster her enough to make her quiet down. ( it’s so cute )

she often picks you up to hug you, spinning you both around in circles in an almost bone crushing hug. other than those times her hugs are really soft, but the energy is still there. ^^

have i mentioned that she is affectionate?? because she really is. she does respect your boundaries though, but if you feel uncomfortable you’re going to have to speak up on it because she won’t notice.

in private her clinginess is amplified by 10.

“i’m trying to cook, amber,” you mumbled, struggling to stir the paste sauce in the pot. all you were trying to do was make dinner for the two of you, but around 5 minutes ago she came up behind you and wrapped her arms around your arms and torso. you could feel her bury her face further into your back.

“mhm, and it smells really good too,” she hummed. you groaned, and she just giggled.

“i’ll be done in like, 20 minutes, amber. you can hug barron bunny in the meantime,” you tried to pry her arms off of you but she started whining.

“that’s too long.”

“no, it isnt,” you turned around with a spoonful of pasta sauce, motioning for her to open her mouth. she slurped the sauce and gave you a thumbs up.

“see? its good, right? well it wont get much better if you keep clinging to me so much,” she stayed quiet, but at least loosened her arms around you so that it was easier to move. you lightly patted her hand. “thank you.”

“whateverrr,” she drawled, and you couldnt help but laugh.

the pasta was in fact very good

in the end, shes the exact opposite of jean, and youll need to slow her down a lot :,)

albedo

as far as physical contact goes, it’s literally the last thing you will ever find on his mind. he’s too caught up with other things to think about physical affection

he does love you yes, but he doesnt show it through physical means. he does more gift giving, like when he sees a pretty flower that reminds him of you while going out to find starsilver shards.

if you want a hug or anything out of him you’re going to have to initiate it first— it’s foreign territory, and it’s not something he’s particularly interested in, so he doesnt feel the need to indulge in it

however the first time you two cuddle you can tell that he’s hooked. and he does a terrible job at hiding it.

now, he insists that you sit in his lap while he is taking notes because it “helps him focus better” and because “he’s so lonely”

we all know that aint true lmfao

he also really likes it when you play with his hair. please play with his hair, especially when you want him to get away from his studies. physical contact is completely foreign to him so something as simple as a scalp massage will make him melt 🛐

whenever he refuses to get away from his work, sucrose always asks you to step in because he wont listen to her

“y/n,” sucrose quietly approached you as you conversed with kaeya. you turned to her and nodded, albiet a bit concerned. sucrose never really needed you for anything, what did she need now that she couldn’t do herself?

kaeya took this as his sign to leave, but not before giving you a quick pat on the head. “yes, sucrose?” you said. “did something happen?”

she nodded meekly, watching kaeya walk off. a little bubble of guilt formed in her stomach from interrupting. “ah, i need your help with something. you see, mr albedo has been doing research non-stop on a new thing that has caught his eye since yesterday afternoon. i’ve tried to get him to put his research on pause, but,” she adjusted her glasses. “he doesn’t listen to me. i was hoping if you could maybe convince him to take care of himself?”

you pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. he was doing it again. but you couldnt really blame him, he was terrible at keeping his hyperfixations under control. “i’ll take care of him, sucrose. don’t worry.”

she visibly relaxed at your words. sucrose flashed you a smile of gratitude, then waved and walked off to finish her errands in mondstadt.

—

it didn’t take him very long to notice your presence behind him. you were practically glaring at him, but there was no true anger behind it. wordlessly, albedo turned around in his chair and looked up at you.

you crossed your arms. “albedo,” you started, and it took everything in him not to sigh at the inevitable lecture.

“sucrose sent you, did she not?” he propped his arm up on the armrest of his chair, leaning his face into his hand as he gazed at you nonchalantly.

“of course she did. why aren’t you taking breaks?” he turned his chair back around, but you sat on the desk he was working at. you placed your hand on top of his papers and he shot a glare at you. it didnt phase you in the slightest.

“i have work to do. it’s much easier to do it all at once than stop inbetween.”

“have you at least been taking care of your basic needs? when was the last time you ate, or drank water?”

your eyes softened when he looked away.

hopping off of the desk, you grabbed his hand and pulled him away from his work ( gently, of course ). he barely protested.

you started muttering about how he needs to take better care of himself while pouring him a cup of water and making him a simple sandwich. he was a bit disappointed in himself for making you worry, and ate the food you gave him guiltily.

you pinched his cheek as he ate, giving it a light tug. he slapped your hand away playfully and a bit of the guilt he felt lifted when he heard your laugh. “i’m sorry you have to go through this for me.”

you shook your head. “you just need to learn how to stop yourself. you’re smart albedo, i’m sure you’ll figure it out in no time.”

he finished eating his food and, uncharacteristically, pulled you in for a hug. albedo rested his forehead against your shoulder, relaxing even further when you weaved your fingers through his hair.

“...i’m sorry, y/n.”

“stop apologizing.”

“okay. sorry. oh-”

you laughed.