#I’m weird and idk how to describe it
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that’s such a nice way of thinking about it and i’m kind of the same way
if you dont mind me asking, what are the kinky aspects of it you like? (if you’re comfortable answering tho!)
Oh man, where do I start 😅
So I guess there’s three categories: Things I like doing, things I fantasize about and want to try, and things that are fantasy/role play only.
I haven’t gotten to do much in person stuff, but these things I have and like: I love being teased for my size, and how little self control I have at times. I like being touched, especially in public. Having someone’s hands on me just feels good. It feels like they’re happy to be seen with me. I also really like modeling and showing off. Watching someone lose their mind just at the sight of me is super exciting.
As for things I want to do/only want to do in fantasy, I’d want to try them first so I know how I feel lol. Actually gaining is here, as I’ve never really intentionally gained. And as part of that I like fantasizing about funnel feeding, having quotas for food/weight gained, and slight degradation. I really like the idea of some pretty girl totally taking charge of me and treating me like a pet/toy. Thinking about stuff like that makes my brain go burr. Theres a lot more, but those kinds of things come to mind first. I’m a kinky little weirdo underneath all my awkwardness.
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yeah so this was insane
#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ‘lol same’#but idk :/#this chapter is from jason’s pov#and leading up to it he’s like ‘people keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab wound’#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm#everyone’s like wtf except for percy#and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid#and i feel like it’s echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like#‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’#but he doesn’t make percy feel alone in his desire to just…. end it all#which ik for some people that doesn’t work but you’re not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt#and he can’t tell annabeth bc she’s a main aspect of that guilt#and he doesn’t wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it#so having jason this tough guy be like ‘yo i understand it bc i felt the same way#that’s gotta mean a lot to percy#also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability#allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy he’s supposed to be jealous about#feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame#and also it’s just insane how jason’s wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL#and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him#like this scene is insane and i’ll never shut up about it#also ignore me i’m just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer#jason grace#percy jackson#pjo#ashla.txt
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Pls draw Leboosh and Kavir kissing
I’m sorry this took forever but it’s done. I love them so much it’s actually sickening
#idk why but I need to draw them eeping#I have some weird thoughts about leboosh especially about how Derek describes him sleeping but I’ll probably make a separate post about it#I don’t know if this is what you meant#but I think they have bedtime rituals when they sleep together#also kavir is 100% a crop top guy I don’t make the rules#legends of avantris#avantris#stardust rhapsody#kavir stardust rhapsody#kavir#leboosh#kavir x leboosh#tree's art#as soon as this is posted I’m finishing ep 10 wish me luck
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I’m all against unethical experimentation but I do think it would be funny to have the strictly-pinterest-crowd join tumblr for just a day. Just to see what we have going on here every single day, only a fraction of which they get to experience at the whim of those who venture both sides. I think that would be mildly funny.
#this is abt ninjago but it can be abt whatever idc#i’m saying this because pinterest only people are a different kind of breed#both for the good and the bad#anyways#i got at least two or more comments asking why zane is black#but not in the ‘’oh i want to know your hcs!’’ more in the ‘’they’re lego figures why are you giving them a race’’#and people freaking out but it’s like. not in the tumblr way. so it feels weird#it’s more like in an irl way i guess. idk how else to describe it#non-internet-brainrot-y#cable stupids#lego ninjago#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising
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do you ever just find a fic of your blorbo where they are so mischaracterized that you feel like you wanna die
#zambling (zach rambling)#looking at you ao3 fics involving Kiyotaka Ishimaru#STOP TWINKIFYING HIM I AM BEGGGGINGGGGGGGGGG YOUYUYUYYYUYUUUUUUUUUU#Also not to sound weird but. i saw a fic a while ago where he was written as a trans man but?? really infantalized????#like all of a sudden he was a soft uwu twink who’s literally a baby compared to mondo#something about that feels really really gross??? idk how to describe it#i’m not hating on people who headcanon taka as trans#not my cup of tea personally#but if it’s yours that’s totally cool!!#it just. idk. felt a little weird#as a trans guy myself lmao
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#him saying this outloud sounds so fucking out of character i literally scrolled back to see if I missed a panel where he decides to fake#something or go along with it to see if she cooperates more#YIKES#Nightwing and Huntress#am I tripping or is this actually bad#maybe I’m just dramatic#but it’s so#🫣#yuck#it’s like his and Joey’s relationship condensed to the bad parts#lonely dick#kory not Joey#idk how to describe how off this feels to me#like he’s talked about his feelings before with the titans#with Kory especially#but he also trusted them all completely#he vry much does not seem to trust her that much here#so him talking like this is fucking weird#huntress
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🌹 🌹
send me a 🌹 and i’ll post a sentence from a WIP
Gwen knows that her mother was Hero of Haven once. She knows that the title meant something. She knows that Commander Bronwyn asks her opinion and Chase randomly drops jewelry in her lap. That at least one world leader mirrorcalls her to rage about the difficulties of government. That when she was in her sixth year at school, she came home asking about the Endarkened wars, and Moira answered with a light non-specificity Gwen had come to understand meant there should be no further questions.
#emerald writes#take your daughter to work day#still fascinating to me that the endarkened wars end up being this weird a 15 year blip in history#I’m working off of the assumption that all demons vanish from the earth with the death of tapyt#idk. a larger than life title is external to the relationships around you but it still impacts them yk#i really really want to get into the pixar turning red of it all if there’s space#bc esp where the shepherds are concerned there is a *huge* cultural difference between how they and their kids grow up#shout out to my friend who described this as ‘what if katniss’s daughter went back to the hunger games’ bc that is kind of it
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A new tattoo might not fix me but it’ll definitely help me feel like more of a bad bitch
#I gotta decide which one I’m doing for my birthday#I have 3 on my arm in kinda weird placement#bc I have plans for most of my sleeve#but more went in the order of what I wanted#which has resulted in the front of my forearm being covered and… nothing else lol#so now we debate if we try to finish up the forearm#or do the ones I want to do which are the back of my upper arm#or the outer side of my elbow (think like the hinge of my arm that you would see if you saw me from the side#idk how else to describe it lol
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honestly being a queer adult is constantly thinking back on certain people in your life that you were obsessed with in any way shape or form and realizing “oh that was cause i’m GAY”
#shhh sharkie#gay/queer/bi you know what i mean#idk i describe my attraction to literally anyone as Gay that’s how it is iykyk#anyway this post brought to you by reminiscing about going to The Cloisters and seeing The Unicorn tapestries in person for the first time#in sixth grade and thinking about how much i LOVE The Unicorn tapestries#and then thinking about my middle school english teacher sitting on the grass during lunch#and having this distinct memory of her looking ethereal as she arranged her long skirt as she sat down on the ground#and remembering thinking that she looked so poised and dainty like a princess#Miss Thayer if you’re reading this please know I was obsessed with you in a way 11 year old me did Not understand#her class was my favorite and tbf I love reading and books and plays and literary analysis but also#she was so beautiful and I was so enthralled by her#(not in a weird way in a like ‘i just met the most beautiful woman ever but i don’t know i’m bi so i’m just very invested in her class’)
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Not to make it deep bc I do love having my own music taste but like. Listening to music that most people don’t like means you have to listen to music you don’t like during sexual/romantic moments, while you’re on adventures, while you work and study, any time you’re in public. Your happiest times are narrated by something that doesn’t feel like it’s for you and your most stressful times are almost mocked by the background music lol. Like not to be a bitch about it bc we all have to experience things that aren’t our favorite but I wish the world made it easier for me to like feel included in my own life. I wouldn’t mind other types of music at all if it weren’t an automatic expectation that I’ll like it and never want to show anyone what *i* consider to be A Vibe
#Idk how to describe the feeling I’m thinking abt lol#it’s like everyone decides for you what’s relaxing to you and whats fun and what vibe matches what you’re doing#and god forbid something entirely different sparks joy for you lol#that isn’t accommodated in the way that you’re expected to compromise 24/7#this post was prompted by a post that said ‘let’s cuddle and listen to metal’ bc I was like me and who#thats the one thing I miss abt my most toxic ex is I got to listen to music I liked during the most intimate/spiritual experiences#(gay sex)#and like i have close friends who don’t know the most basic things abt me!!#and I talk about wanting to show them and it’s like they don’t hear me#I’m scared to like try harder bc I feel like they’ll just make fun of me lol#but GOD FORBID they ask me if I like h*rry st*les and I say no. then I’m a hater#and like in other cases I feel like people do support my interests and it feels so refreshing but#I still feel like I have to be annoying about it lol#im not even rly saying I want my music playing more with people who don’t want it bc that’s uncomfy#it’s just weird how people don’t even realize their music is the default and not everyone hears their own shit everywhere they go#mine#txt#music
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like i’m telling you so seriously it is the WORSTTTTTT feeling ever not having a fixation on something. recently i’ve been feeling that creative itch to write like SO strongly and then i realize i don’t have any characters to write about. for the past like month there’s just been this part of me that’s been soo restless not being able to write when i’m finally motivated to sigh.. if y’all have tips lmk PLEASE
#like i would still call It an obsession of mine. i love it so so much and am still very familiar#and i’m still SO attached to the characters#but recently i’ve kind of lost this like. idk how to describe it. this Connection with the characters#that used to enable me to write about them. now when i go to write it’s like. i’m not connected to them i don’t know them well enough#EVEN THOUGH I COULD ANSWER ANY QUESTION ABT THEM AND HAVE TO MANY HEADCANONS N THOUGHTS…#*so many#i just hit this wall whenever i want to write abt them!#might be something to do with me entering a new era of life and associating writing with the old one#or more specifically writing reddie fic#when then makes me feel really weird when i want to write reddie fic#*which then#good god i can’t type#ITS SO FRUSTRATING.. i should reread It or somethin and try and get back into it cuz it’s killing me#ghost rants
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me when the bacteria c o l o n i s e s
#m a n. i thought that the sample would turn out negative for bacteria (like the rest have been for the past. what. year and a quarter(?))#esp since the agar testing stick things used were freshly expired (thanks for the expired reagents workplace; cost cutting ftw!!!!)#but. ewwwwwwwwwwww it actually grewwwwwwwwwwww#and the small stick thing was covered from like top to bottom in countless dark red colonies. ewwwwwwwwww#all the other agar stick things were completely clean though so it was def a problem with the sample and not with my handling of the agar#in any case!!!!!!! it was the first time i saw a positive for bacteria growth on a sample and!!!!#it was also my first time reporting the results for this test!!!! without any of the test-familiar staff around!!! so!!!!! not fun!!!!!!!!#i didn’t even k n o w what they meant when they asked to ‘describe the colour/appearance of the colonies’ bc the managers’ expectations are.#just. *weird*. sometimes. ughhhhhh im ready for the inevitable groupchat callout on tuesday with ‘who taught you to report like this????’s#well e x c u s e me for not knowing sir you never taught me how to report colony growths or anything auauaaaaaaaaaa#but is ok!!!!!! i’m taking tuesday off anyway!!!! it’ll be the tuesday workers’ problem now!!!!!!!! good luck guys!!!!!!!#at least there was no fungi either… now *that* would’ve been extra gross#the bio class flashbacks were r e a l today… thank god i don’t ever have to open that stupid pharmacopoeia ever again#also reminds me of (one of) my stupidest moments in a bio class though…#back in the days of yore (read: anatomy class in the year of ‘17) i was an absolutely horrible student who’d never fail to nap in class#so when my lecturer asked connecting questions down the class register…#yk stuff like asking student 1 to ‘name a type of cell’ and then asking student 2 to ‘name an organelle that a [student 1’s cell] contains’#he asked the girl before me to name a hormone. she answered ‘growth hormone’. and i was like. dammit. idk where it’s found. lolhelp.#(bc i never read ahead either + the growth hormone didn’t even show up in lessons during that school term)#so when he inevitably asked me to ‘name the organ that produces the growth hormone’ i answered (exact quote) ‘i don’t know; the ovaries????’#the class laughed. sad. the lecturer retorted with sth like ‘then are you saying that boys can’t grow?’ and i just shrugged#the girl after me (who incidentally has the same first+last name as me phonetically speaking) gave him the right answer thoughhhh#i hope i managed to buy my name twin enough time to look up the correct answer (if she didn’t already know it) with my stupid guess#yeahhhhhh i do n o t miss bio class. at all. giggity#anyways that’s enough flashback sequences for one year. can’t believe the next year’s less than 10 days away tbh. can’t wait!!!!!!!!
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One of the biggest questions I have for the Call Of Duty fandom is where the actual fuck the headcanon that Ghost is blonde and blue eyed comes from?!? Isn’t it canon that he has brown hair and brown eyes? Like isn’t that a pretty noticeable trait he has in the comics?
#and also the video game#idk i didn’t play it#but I saw enough clips at this point#and i read the comic#because if something has a comic you damn we’ll know I’m gonna read it and be a bitch about it#like it doesn’t really bother me that much but now that I know it I can’t unsee it#y’all are describing him like the guy from my German course who doesn’t think misogyny is real#who also happens to be named Simon unfortunately#idk it’s just weird#stuff#text#call of duty#simon ghost riley#also this guy is destroyed when it comes to mental health#the line 'all roads end in black rot' personified in one warpropaganda videogame character#that we all also have decided to babygirl like it’s our gods give right#wich it is tbh#anyways Post with nonsensical tags about my current petpeeve#is that how you write it?
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mwah im so glad u like it!!! honestly the bg colour was unintentional but LMAOO IT WORKED OUT HAAHHA
LIKE IT? I LOVE IT!! Even if it was unintentional, it still turned out so cute and pastel. Your coloring looks like a cotton candy galaxy. I kind of want to eat it??? ☆〜(ゝ。∂)
Mwahs! Thank you again Vanessa. I always love seeing your colorings 🩷
#asks and answers#sukerokus#it was a happy accident#🩷#the eating thing is weird idk how to describe it lol it’s just so pretty like those cute animal shaped pastries or sanrio bentos#I’m sorry LOL#love youuuu
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yo I like really just don’t think I wanna be a part of society
#I’m so done with shit fr#I feel like I shouldn’t have been put on this planet sometimes#not bc I hate myself or shit#but bc I don’t fucking fit in with this bs#I know other peoples relate to this feeling#how fr we gonna make it idk#but we can do this#ugh#nothing makes any sense#I am tired#I’m ok no depressed shit rn#I am just over it all#idek how to describe it#gonna smoke a blunt about it#AND#fucking and. there’s more#the gas station dude that’s obsessed with me I am gonna have to spell it tf out to him#he continues to flirt with me even tho i literally DONT DO IT BACK EVER AND NEVER WILL#I WAS PRAYIN ON MY HANDS AND KNEES On my way! AFTER WORK THAT IT WOULD NOT BE HIM AND IT MFING WAS#AND HE WAS ALL FUCKING WEIRD AND EXCITED AND WAS TRYINT O MAKE ME TOUCH HIS HAND WHEN I WAS GIVING HIM MY CARD#AND I WAS NOT LETTING HIM AND HES LIEK ‘why’re you mad’#and I’m like bc just get my stuff so I can go home pls#also I go through the drive thru btw#but yeah he gets my stuff and fucking asks me again bc he was STILL being ducking weird to me and I’m just gonna kill him next time#problem solved#murder#jking#but I will probably have to be mean#he’s gonna make me do it and I really didn’t wanna be mena but fuck him fr#I do not care about his feelings anymore
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ngl. unconsciously disengaging from this website has been hdjfkg kinda good for my mental health overall? like yes im still dhdjfjf left out of a lot of stuff BUT i see it less so that means my feelings don’t get as hurt lmao. functionally that’s more or less the same thing probably?
going recluse isn’t what i ever want to do (& I didn’t even do it on purpose, just got busy and had a low social battery because of it) but aside from me being overall comfortable by myself, it just kind of seems like it’s where people are content to leave me. doesn’t feel great but it is what it is.
#not rly on discord servers for the same reason tbh#got tired of trying to interject my awkward attempts at participation#I mean people can still @ me but i just don’t have it in me for the server stuff#my social perception is low enough that I can’t tell what the right move is but high enough I know when I fucked up#idk if I’m just not built for larger groups or if it’s something else :(#wish I knew so I could work around it but it’s not exactly a perfect experiment#so w/e. I do kind of miss it a bit but I also feel like my absence doesn’t make a difference#which is a sad thought in itself but that’s how it goes#idk I think in general I’m in a weird spot where I make an impression but it’s never a vital one to the dynamic ?#I do sometimes doubt like. what I bring to interactions in general lately#doesn’t feel like much if I’m being honest. I mean I think I’m at least moderately interesting but djfjf who knows#weirdly settled with myself as a person but I’m thinking that cost is probably an isolating one#knowing a lot of people just never breaking past that surface level#sucks. not much else to describe it as.#idk I’m sure this is bad for me but I think I’ve kind of already messed up first impressions#it’s so stupid but I keep encountering the same dynamic of either we Click fairly quickly or we just don’t really at all#and I feel like that’s wrong of me bc I know some people need time but unless that initial click happens I just seem to falter??#idk idk idk I guess lately it’s like I feel alone/lonely but I don’t feel like I’m wanting to return to anything#bc I never felt like I really had a place there to start with#weird feeling. very weird feeling.#logging back off now dhjfkf
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