#but he also trusted them all completely
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#him saying this outloud sounds so fucking out of character i literally scrolled back to see if I missed a panel where he decides to fake#something or go along with it to see if she cooperates more#YIKES#Nightwing and Huntress#am I tripping or is this actually bad#maybe I’m just dramatic#but it’s so#🫣#yuck#it’s like his and Joey’s relationship condensed to the bad parts#lonely dick#kory not Joey#idk how to describe how off this feels to me#like he’s talked about his feelings before with the titans#with Kory especially#but he also trusted them all completely#he vry much does not seem to trust her that much here#so him talking like this is fucking weird#huntress
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I keep thinking about Merlin’s love for Arthur and how it’s so clearly portrayed in the show to the point that it practically drives the plot of the show. However when it comes to Arthur’s love for Merlin it’s more subtle and sometimes difficult to even grasp, and I started thinking why that was, aside from the obvious fact that Arthur has a lot of trouble expressing his emotions affection or otherwise. I think it also lies in the fact that Merlin knows Arthur intrinsically throughout the show; he is one of the closest people to Arthur, and sees him for who he really is. Arthur admits as much.
Sure, Arthur knows Merlin but the main part of the plot is that he really doesn't know Merlin. Merlin wants him to desperately understand him and “see me for who I am” but he can't yet. And I think this subconsciously creates a barrier in the way in which Arthur can care for Merlin, and how Merlin can let himself be seen by Arthur.
Which is why I think he was also so hurt when the magic reveal happens because more than the betrayal of Merlin having magic, it was the betrayal of Merlin not letting Arthur see him for who he really is and for hiding a main part of himself. Arthur says it himself “why did you never tell me” that’s what hurt him the most.
I think the most damning piece of evidence for this is the fact that while we see snippets of Arthur’s feelings for Merlin thought the show, the biggest signs are in the last episode after the magic reveal; in which he finally gets to understand Merlin, and this time REALLY know Merlin, and as the barriers of what held them back from understanding each other truly fall away, Arthur evidently “falls in love with Merlin all over again”. We see him actually express himself to Merlin.
This is another reason why I think if anyone was ever to create another season of Merlin after Arthur’s return, it’s physically impossible not to make it about Merlin and Arthur acknowledging their feelings for each other. Because there is no way forward without them acknowledging how deeply they care for each other, obviously anyone is free to argue what kind of love that is, but its impossible not to see the deep love there either way.
They always knew they loved each other, just maybe never realising how much and what that means, because its almost second nature to everything that they do.
#merlin meta#bbc merlin#merthur#ignore me im literally just rambling#im not sure this even makes sense but i had to yap it out anyway!!#i think merlins love for Arthur surpasses his destiny in a way#He foresakes himself and his people just to ensure Arthur lives#but that turned out to be the undoing of them all#I cannot stress enough how insane this makes me#its sometimes harder to look at Arthur and understand how his love for merlin takes form#but the way he starts taking small steps to check in on merlin when he's being particularly quiet#or noticing the changes in merlin is a good indicator because it is so completely opposite his nature#and ofc the way in which he trusts merlin so completely#remember this is a man who has constant problems with people he chooses to trust#and he also shows time and time again how far he's willing to go beyond the accepted norms to also protect merlin#I think it was always harder for him to allow himself to open about his emotions#and it was much easier to keep it under lock and key to avoid it being seen as a weakness#Obviously thanks to Uthers A+ parenting which could not have helped#but as the seasons go on he begins to open up and thats no small part in thanks to merlins influence in his life#and when it comes to the finale they are both boiled down to raw emotion having to face each other#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon
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kids when they hear that their dad is back in town VS. kids when theyre hanging out with a conman that accidentally stole their wallet once
im not even joking btw
bonus heres me being crazy about them in dms ^^^
#mob psycho 100#mp100#shou suzuki#sho suzuki#reigen arataka#i know sho doesnt actually BELIEVE his dad is back but even just that split second reaction is a weird one to have over your dad coming bac#he was like 'say sike rn... wait that aint right.'#shou watching them on the bottom floor while being isolated up in the corner at the end of the third stage play. and saying#'it's nice that they're so easygoing.' all wistfully???? im killing somebody#reigen calling him a poor thing and worrying about him DESPITE knowing his mischievous ways. ugh#gonna quote my reaction to clip rq#'bro [shou] heard him [reigen] talking about guardianship over children and making sure theyre safe over anything else and was like-#'this is getting too real for me i gotta make fun of him immediately.''#idc WHAT yall think to ME that was such a thick layer of defense mechanism that even though reigen's guardianship speech wasnt directed#at Sho he still felt the intrinsic urge to shoot back because of what hes experienced with people who are SUPPOSED to be protecting him.#would yall believe me if i told you i am totally insane#there are SO MANY THINGS. woven into their interactions that really enhance it#its totally silly! yes! but also! it is a legitimate ARC of GROWTH within their relationship! we watch as Sho starts off#with no trust in the man at all (although for a pretty good reason)#and over time he realizes hes NOT total shitbag#of course this doesnt mean hes completely vulnerable with him. its easy to infer that his distrust in certain people is formed from#a lifetime of being let down and incapability of dependency on certain trusted adults. his defense must be so heavily built up#even after gaining some sort of trust from Shou Reigen will NOT be exempt from his impish defense mechanisms.#sho will not make himself emotionally available as he would then be open to being hurt by someone else he thought could trust#his 'carefree and prankish' behavior is the wall between himself and such an intense feeling of disappointment and hurt and loneliness#but i like to think hes also just silly. hehe#man that stage play huh. shoots every fatal drug directly into my bloodstream#shou's trust and father issues VS stupid conman who has the common sense to not let children be beat up by grown ass adults. who will win.#i mightve forgotten something but. i think this is pretty packed full already so i am pleased. thank you for reading <3#meowmeow art
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shiv LOVES tom now. not that she didn't before because of course she did but she is ACTIVELY IN LOVE right now as in he compels her as in she is finally afraid of him!!!!. because he stole her dad and flicked her ear and to shiv love is: revenge, jealousy, control, kicked dogs, scuffed shoes, fighting to draw blood, this is not the slimy 'are you just being nice to me?' fear, the 'you're marrying a man fathoms beneath you because you're afraid of being betrayed!' shame, this is him finally LOVING HER IN A WAY SHE UNDERSTANDS. NO CHILDREN MOTHERFUCKER
#tomshiv#succession#i will walk down to the end with you if you will come all the way down with me#also it's horrible because . listen. because the reason he was her achilles heel was because she trsuted him so completely but to shiv to#trust someone and look down on them are the same thing so. now she's twisted him up. and the reason for her love has died but her love is#alive#zombie
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Belobog was my fave main quest but a lot of it is so. Contradictory. It's like they had multiple groups doing different shit and none of them checked in with each other for consistency. And you see this so much in Gepard's profile.
So in the main quest, they made him unfailingly, unquestionably loyal to Cocolia. Gepard's character arc is him learning to question authority etc etc. And this isn't even a bad thing; that's a story worth telling! It makes good conflict between him and Serval! And I love that we got Gepard as a boss battle and I get to see him all the time in SU!
But then you look at his character stories and it's like. The complete opposite.
According to his profile, Gepard has already HAD this awakening, long before the Astral Express, and he'd already decided Cocolia sucks. Even outside of his stories, there's a pretty damning readable between him and Pela.
He even disobeyed direct orders right in front of her- he has been disobeying orders for a while now!
So I've decided I'm marrying the two different sides of this into a 1.5k fic-ish thingy, because I think there's some fun potential there with Gepard not trusting Cocolia, but still having to pretend to be a good obedient little soldier.
Anyway. I love to think of it as like. Gepard knows Cocolia has sunk into her apathy. He can see it in her eyes every time he looks at her. She doesn't care. Not about him, not about Pela, not about all his soldiers on the frontlines giving their lives to protect the citizens. And that's... It makes him bristle a bit, but ok. Gepard can deal with this. Even if Cocolia no longer cares, as long as she does her job then it's fine. Having compassion behind an action doesn't matter as much as the action itself. If Cocolia's heart is no longer swayed, then he'll just have to care twice as hard to pick up the slack. He considers it part of his duty as a captain of the guard anyway. It's fine. Gepard can deal with it.
And then, Cocolia starts coming down to the restricted zone. Issuing direct orders.
And Gepard realizes he is in way over his head.
Because Cocolia orders him to stay back and issue commands from the ramparts, away from all his comrades, away from where he can protect them.
Gepard had thought nothing could be as bad as watching a fellow guard die right next to him. But the first time he watches someone struck by a killing blow, so far away, it hurts. Every defensive scar across his arms itches, his fingers curl in want of a weapon, the cold cannot numb his hands enough as they desperately ache for his shield. It hurts.
Gepard tries to find any reason to stay. Because surely... He knows Cocolia has lost her love for her people, but surely... She wouldn't...
One day, Cocolia orders for their gunners to advance 20 yards. There are no survivors. She almost looks like she smiles.
Gepard doesn't sleep that night.
Pela brings him the report at the end of the first month; and then the month after that, and the month after that. A significant uptick in losses, and all of it started on that first day Cocolia started overriding his authority and issuing her own orders. The ends of Gepard's pens have all been nearly chewed off. Pela outright calls Cocolia an idiot, and Gepard corrects her. Cocolia isn't an idiot. Gepard had known her through Serval, knew her through all her college years and then some, and he knows how intelligent she is. It's not that she's stupid, and it's not that she's inexperienced, it's nothing of the sort.
Cocolia knows exactly what she's doing.
She must, there's no way she could make such a horrible mess of things so badly by accident. And Pela, quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, always too smart for her own good, catches onto the meaning behind Gepard's correction without any further prompting. The tent goes deathly quiet, nothing but the wind howling outside.
"...She's trying to kill us," Pela whispers, her voice swiftly suffocated by the silence.
Gepard swallows. He can't bring himself to correct her this time. There is nothing he could say that he would actually mean.
His gaze drops, back down to his desk and the reports on it. The names aren't listed, just the numbers, but Gepard knows them, knew them, and there must be something wrong, something he's missing, because why, why would she-? What could this possibly accomplish-?
“Gepard! Focus!” Something snaps right under his nose, and Gepard startles, eyes instantly honing in on Pela's irritated face as she leans over his desk. She holds his gaze for a moment before she huffs and begins to pace, wedges a knuckle between her teeth and bites like Gepard hasn't seen her do since cadet school.
Pela angrily strides from one end of his tent to the other, words hissed between her grit teeth. “What are we going to do?” In the dim lighting, Gepard can just barely see the damp spot of blood weeping under her gloves. “We need a plan.”
“A plan?”
“Wh- Yes, a plan! Unless you want more people to die!” Pela rounds on him then, all the wrath of a blizzard, winds roaring and snow sharp enough to cut.
“We don't even know-”
“What does it matter?! She killed-!!” Pela cuts off with a garbled noise when Gepard leaps up from his desk, hastily shoves his hand over her mouth. The prosthetic, not the flesh one, because he knows better than to assume Pela won't seize the opportunity to leave teeth marks in his skin.
“You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry; you're right. But you need to keep quiet.” Pela quirks an eyebrow at him and Gepard can read the question in her face. “Because we both saw what she did to Serval,” he hisses.
It's amazing the snow plains haven't thawed out yet, the amount of heat Pela can put behind a glare. The mere mention of Serval, and the smoking ruins Cocolia had made of her life and career, have her bristling up like a riled cat. The sudden hot breath she takes fans fog across his metal skin, and Gepard wisely keeps it in place until Pela finally sighs and reaches up, taps her fingertips against the back of his hand.
The second she's free, Pela bats him away and then her knuckle is right back between her teeth again, Gepard leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed to watch her resume her pacing. “If we spread the word, she'll have us discharged and make sure we can't even touch the frontlines,” Pela's voice seethes like an open sore. Gepard nods but keeps his silence. He knows better than to get in her way.
“And if you and I are both out of the picture, Belobog is fucked.” A little harsher than how he would have put it, but there's no denying that they're both important to the city's survival. Pela has the restricted zone running as efficiently as ever, and Gepard had become the youngest captain on record for a reason. “We need to keep this tight under wraps, at least for now… It can't leak to anyone higher up the chain.” Another nod. “Serval might know other discontents…” Another n-
Gepard's head snaps up. “No.”
“No what?”
“No. We're not involving Serval in this.”
Somehow, even the same tone that leaves entire squadrons shaking in their boots has never worked on her. “You're not deciding that for her, Gepard.”
Pela hadn't seen the worst of it, though, back when his sister had just been banned from the Architects. Serval's pride hadn't allowed it. Pela wasn't the one to find her passed out bottle still in hand, hadn't been the one to wash the sick out of her hair or carry her to bed.
Serval still has trouble thinking clearly when it comes to Cocolia, still can't quite bring herself to be objective. And Gepard maybe doesn't want her to be purely objective- but he would worry a lot less if she thought twice before she acted more often.
“At least let me be the one to bring it up to her.”
“Whatever, fine,” Pela gestures affirmatively at him as she paces past, and Gepard sighs. Good, at least that's one thing he can help.
From there, it's a lot of hemming and hawing and frustration. Cocolia has them under her boot, and Gepard and Pela both know it. Even with the way she's been cracking down on freedoms lately, Cocolia is still, overall, liked by the people. It's unlikely anyone would believe them. They don't even have solid proof, because most people don't know Cocolia as well as they do and won't see the clues in the same light.
The Fragmentum has been ramping up in recent years, too. Everyone is struggling just to survive as is, they can't afford a fight on two fronts. Gepard is a damn good captain, one of the best for that matter. But they're at a massive disadvantage, his experience is narrowed to fighting a defensive battle against monsters, that's all he's ever done. That's all anyone there has ever done. He has no way of finding first-hand knowledge for taking the offensive against a human opponent, and if he goes at this blind, there's no way he'll get everyone out unscathed. He's going to lose people. He's going to lose a lot of people.
He'd never thought before that Cocolia would have it in her to have someone killed. And with this new knowledge, he has no guarantee she won't go after Serval or Lynx if she decides to retaliate.
Gepard has to remind himself to breathe when he realizes this.
Pela writes down every name the two of them can come up with. Lists and lists of names and groups and anyone they can think of who might be an ally in all of this. They memorize every bit of it, make their plans of who to talk to and when. Gepard watches the sparks reflect off Pela's glasses as they burn the evidence together.
Pela finally leaves, far too late to make it home, but says she wants to stay in the restricted zone anyway to investigate. Gepard watches her make her way in the direction of Dunn's tent, watches her back until she's out of his sight and squashes down the urge to follow and keep an eye on her. His tent feels empty.
In the morning, Gepard is up before the wake up bells. He drags himself out of bed, leads his soldiers through their morning training. The same people gravitate to each other everyday. Friend groups and training partners. There's an ongoing rivalry between a few squadrons that everyone bets on. Some of them have lockets around their necks, keepsakes, mementos. Some of them wear wedding rings.
Gepard is suddenly, painfully aware of something acidic clawing at the inside of his throat, of a heavy weight low in his chest that blooms, takes up room until it threatens to spread his ribs. His mouth tastes of bile and blood.
He rearranges the schedules. Puts himself down for every open patrol into the Fragmentum, makes sure he'll be on the frontlines every single time Cocolia visits.
He only hopes that it's enough.
#honkai star rail#gepard landau#hsr gepard#pelageya sergeyevna#hsr pela#hsr#smacking Gepard out of Hoyo's hands and running off with him skzjmdkd#tentatively Figuring Out how to write these two... It feels a little tricky starting out with extreme circumstances like this haha#I feel like a lot of people see Gepard as naive for trusting Cocolia so much but I don't think that's quite it. He's not stupid.#He's not even naive.#He's someone who has been groomed since birth by his own parents to be an obedient Guard and nothing outside of that role.#You are not immune to propaganda etc etc#But even then there are a lot of things like all the included screenshots where he. Doesn't actually seem to like/trust Cocolia much.#I think Serval was a really good influence on him as a kid. He might have turned out much much worse without her.#and even with how I've written him here. I don't think he's normally slow to act or one to stand aside and make other people lead.#it's just that this specifically was a pretty extreme circumstance for him.#and also he openly states elsewhere that Pela is overbearing and he tries not to interfere with her work whenever possible nskzhdjdjd#Pela too. I don't know that I normally see her as someone with a bad temper or quick to anger.#But again; extreme circumstances haha#Bc like. they both would have seen what happened to Serval when she stood up to Cocolia. they know damn well what's going to happen to them.#if they fuck this up and get caught then they're done.#and I mean. What are they supposed to do? they're two people against the highest authority of the entire nation.#regardless I do love Gepard agonizing over this in the future after Bronya takes over and everything has settled down#did he do the right thing? did he make the right choice? if he went vigilante how many soldiers would have died without his protection?#would Belobog have fallen completely? how many people died because he DIDN'T run away? was it actually enough?#I love characters forced between a rock and a hard place. no good options. pick your poison.#no winning- only weighing what you can and cannot bear to lose.#make your choice and decide whether you want to rot or to burn.
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Yuma's unshakable trust in Astral makes me cry every time
#Yuma doesn't even think twice about jumping in and defending Astral every time#He just trusts Astral so much#When Mr. Heartland said that Astral was a bad guy Yuma immediately got angry and started defending Astral#and also with Luna he talked in defense of Astral#and even when Astral started to have doubts about himself Yuma was quick to reassure him#because he knows that Astral is a good person#and no one will change his mind#Yuma is like “Yes I know that Astral is weird and arrogant and sometimes makes no sense but he's a good person and I'm sure of it”#He has no idea about what the Numbers are but he knows Astral and that is enough for him to know that they can't be completely bad#and he is sure that Astral will never misuses them because he knows Astral better than anyone and he trusts him!#he trusts him even when Astral doesn't trust himself#and Yuma's trust is so important to Astral#he remembers so little about himself and doesn't know what he really is but Yuma cares so much about him#to the point that even his “baseless confidence” is enough to reassure Astral#because Yuma's power of believing in people is one of the things that Astral admires and loves the most about Yuma#and Yuma believing in him gives Astral hope that he will be alright#Astral even said that Yuma believing in him without hesitation made him happy#These two make me feel too many emotions#they are everything to me#I will probably talk about these scenes in future posts because I love them#but for now I wanted to have all of them in the same spot#I love this manga so much I want to talk about every scenes of it#(and seeing how much manga posts I have in my drafts that is likely to happen)#astral zexal#astral yugioh#yuma tsukumo#yugioh zexal#yu gi oh zexal#ygo zexal#zexal
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"[Elizabeth Woodville] was the only member of [Crown Prince Edward of Westminster's] original 1471 council not already on the king’s council and her name headed the list of those appointed as administrators in Wales during Edward’s minority. [She remained on the council after it was expanded in 1473 and granted significant new governing and judicial powers]."
"In 1478 Prince Richard [of Shrewsbury] married the Mowbray heiress. Like his elder brother he had a chancellor, seal, household and council to manage his estates. His council, like that of Prince Edward, comprised the queen [Elizabeth Woodville] and a group of magnates and bishops, few of whom were Woodville supporters [...] It was Elizabeth who mattered, for Richard resided with her and Rivers treated his affairs as their own."
-J.L. Laynesmith, The Last Medieval Queens: English Queenship 1445-1503 / Michael Hicks, Richard III and his Rivals: Magnates and their Motives in the Wars of the Roses
#good👏🏻 for 👏🏻 her#historicwomendaily#elizabeth woodville#15th century#english history#princes in the tower#my post#Reminder that these sort of additional official positions in governance were very unusual (unprecedented) for late medieval English queens#Elizabeth's formal appointment in royal councils (+ authority over her sons) should not be ignored or downplayed in the slightest bit#It should instead be considered one of the most defining aspects of her queenship that spanned over a decade and lasted right till the end#& should also be highlighted as one of the most vital topics of discussion when it comes to broader queenly power in late medieval England#I think it also says a lot about Elizabeth's relationship to Edward IV and the regard he seems to have had for her capabilities#'The only member of the original 1471 council not already on the king’s council' that speaks VOLUMES. Once again: good for her.#It's also really frustrating how some historians (Katherine J. Lewis; AJ Pollard; Laynesmith etc) have incredibly lopsided perspectives on#Elizabeth that fundamentally *do not work* when you remember these actual facts and what they reveal about her power and influence#I'm also still baffled at Lynda Pidgeon's claim that 'Elizabeth's influence with Edward IV was less than with family members who were#part of the king's council or that of her son Edward prince of Wales'. Like???????#First of all - we *already know* that Elizabeth had the most personal influence with Edward and was the one he trusted the most#The case in 1480 & his own will in 1475 (where he referred to her as the one 'in whom we most singularly place our trust') make both clear#Second of all - ELIZABETH WAS LITERALLY ON HER SONS' COUNCILS HERSELF. HER NAME HEADED THE GODDAMN LIST. How have you missed this????????#It's actually bizarre because it completely ignores the fact that 1) Late medieval queens *weren't* generally given positions like this?#If we accept Pidgeon's (false) interpretation we have to claim that NONE of them were influential at all#Which I'm pretty sure nobody agrees with? So why have I seen people agreeing with Pidgeon's FALSE take on Elizabeth based on that lmfao?#2) Elizabeth WAS in fact given such positions. She genuinely was given unusual authority and was an Exception™ rather than the rule#Forget emphasizing her atypical role - Pidgeon has outright erased it in an effort to diminish her#She does the same thing when talking about Elizabeth's role after Edward IV's death and it's equally ridiculous and incorrect#There's stupidity and then there's willful misreading & rewriting of history according to your own imagination. This fits the latter
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atsushi straight up losing akus coat is very funny but also hnnbnbnghg coat theory.........
something something atsushi being responsible for aku being clothed in something that isnt the scraps dazai left him
#but also. like. haha atsushi lost his coat and aku has a cunty lil outfit#shin soukoku#sskk#anyway. thinking about death and rebirth and shedding the skin of your past self#and with dazai it was odas death and dazais rebirth in terms of becoming a Person rather than a shadow like he was in the mafia#and shedding moris shadow to wear his cunty lil trench coat that he has now#but aku has to die himself in sacrifice for atsushi before he can be reborn as something more than a shadow#so he too has to shed the coat dazai gave him in favour of something new#and obviously its Been a thing symbolically that aku is sharing the weight of dazais expectations with atsushi#and hes had moments where he isnt wearing it arnd atsu bc atsu is wearing it instead#but the fact that its completely gone now. in time for them to truly work as one#oh yeah. its all coming together#sskk win trust and believe#anyway. im insane i think abt sskk and my brain leaks out my ears#bsd
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I dunno why but it's one of the funniest moments in TF:Exodus. Like, the way Megatron just ignores Shockwsve's words makes me think it wasn't the first time. Like "yeah, yeah, you might desire to conduct an inhumane experiment on me, but check out my new name".
But Shockwave and Soundwave are such good besties. No questions asked, just be who u wanna be.
Also my personal hc that Shockwave and Megatron met through Soundwave. 2waves already knew each other, cuz Shock used to patch Sound up. And after Megatronus fought Soundwave, the latter was very interested in his opponent, so he sent Laserbeak Rumble and Frenzy to spy on the best gladiator. He wasn't really happy with cassettes following him, but once they explained themselves he decided to meet with Soundwave again. After they've gotten closer and became brothers in arm, Sound decided to introduce gladiator doctor/unhumain scientist. Megatron really wasn't happy with Shockwave using gladiator's corpses for his own caprice. Yet he was still useful for the cause so he had to tolerate scientist. After all of them became kinda close. They had a very strange type of friendship, but it worked and no one complained.
#tfp#transformers exodus#transformers prime#transformers#maccadam#tfp soundwave#tfp megatron#tfp shockwave#but genuinely they all thought “primus I'm the only one sane here” for a long time but somehow they made it work#and it was a very hard time for Megatron to trust this new so called doctor#so for the majority of the first few operations Soundwave had to attend or else Megatron was gonna go patch himself up#SPOILERS FOR LATER CHAPTERS some part of me believes that the bombings of the amusement park and others was a collective work of three of em#Megatron planned everything#Soundwave found minicons who were brave enough to agree on this avanture through his connections#And Shockwave prepared boombooms for them to complete it using his knowledge in chemistry#also the part of me likes to think that MegaSound were genuinely upset when Starscream told them that Shocky died#and logically they were honestly happy once he came back#and also Megatron is really nice to both if them like really#he pushes everyone around yet he never even yells at them#tell ko to immediately fix Soundwave and says that 'he doesn't want to lose' shockwave again#and yeah it probably was just because only he could revive predacons but let me at least dream Megan has feelings apart from anger#megatron#soundwave#shockwave
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The New Titans #55 (1989)
Batman (2010-) #641
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Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016-) #6
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Batman and Red Hood (2011-) #20
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Batman (2016-) #138
They sure do bAT&Tman. They sure as hell do.
Yet Jason never thought this way about you.
#Don’t you dare kill them with a simple headshot Jason! I have to keep them alive so I can torment them until they wished they were dead#they’ll never use their hands again. this is the superior way#and you should follow in my footsteps as any self-respecting non-criminal vigilante would in order to keep your conscience squeaky clean#also how dare you not be more understanding of the fact that I completely betrayed your trust#and threw your unhealable trauma in your face and shamelessly admitted to it#after I slit your throat in front of the murderer responsible for that same trauma while he laughed in your face a few years back#god you are a terrible son u are so selfish everything I ever said about you while u were dead was true ur being such a burden rn#also I just love how in batman 640 Bruce was going around interrogating Ollie and Clark (ppl who died + came back)#to find a *~rational~* explanation for how Jason was even here#instead of yk. just being glad your child is alive#and when Damian died he does all this shit to Jason to figure *how to* bring Dami back#after he burned his artwork the same way he emptied out Jason’s room#god you flaming turd of a father never change#the fact that lobdell boiled down Jason’s reasoning to ‘he’s the bad guy and you’re the good guy Jason’#already shows we’re starting off on the wrong foot but#Jason coming back to Bruce in every new comic and saying the same ‘I tried it your way. or sucks’ thing is so silly because#it*#he already learned that decades ago#all the way back in batman 424 lol#you’re just. making him. look like an idiot. but yk what maybe that’s still better than the self-deprecating diversion bs#that’s actually convincing more people ‘yay Jason want redemption this is revolutionary & has definitely never been done a billion times b4#and is a step in the *right* direction’#my post
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Ryuji is so anxious in the beginning of the game :( hes so caught up in his head during the kamoshida arc; makes me think hes been like that for awhile, at least until u get a bit further in the game. The rumors, the self loathing, the whole stint w kamoshida; hes got too much on his brain and its kinda nice (and a little sad) that he starts sharing those anxieties and doubts the second hes in a safe space to do so.
#chattin#ryuji#hes definitely more relaxed by the madarame arc#like he got friends and a purpose and he just bounced back immediately#but i am thinking of like. the year everything went to shit for him#like it wasnt his fault but also hes the center of all the controversy#and he went from being very popular (im SURE he was; hes called a track STAR)#to being completely alone w failing grades and a broken leg. like he had alot of time to sit and think#and all the stuff w his home life being so disruptive#like despite what the school body will say he does think before he acts#he had a grown man rile him up to make him act; he didnt just go in guns blazin#i dunno where im going w this lol. i just think he gets alot of flak for being loud and annoying#but just like w everyone else; u get to see their real personality when theyre supported and loved#and ryuji is just loud and brash and he loves w his whole heart#just like ann became super vocal and silly about so many things after u help her w shiho#All the thieves are like this. ryuji is a ball of anxiety#but its quieted down when he has real support and purpose in his life again#and its less that hes ‘quiet’ about his worries; if anything hes more vocal about it#but bc hes so vocal about it; u can see the difference between him messaging u every day worrying about kamoshida#to him going w the flow and putting more trust in u and the team#he loves them sm !!!!
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power coming to love two humans despite originally believing they all deserve to die and aki coming to love two devils despite originally hating them and thinking it was impossible for him to care about one and denji who toes the line between the two coming to love aki and power like siblings despite his history of being abused by men and seeking validation through sexual/romantic relationships with women. and denji turning down a vacation to take care of power and aki trying to keep them from having to fight the gun devil and them going with aki to visit his family’s grave and lightening the mood for him and trying to cook him dinner and power asking denji to find her even though she won’t know him and to love her until she’s her again anyway i hate this manga for making me sob hysterically multiple times.
#sorry god i was thinking about how sweet it is that denji’s trying to make all that money so nayuta can go to college#and every time i think about part 2 denji i spiral like he’s been through so much he’s lost so much but he’s still got such a good heart#and he’s so nice to asa even after she was so weird and mean to him why do i care so much about this stinky chainsaw boy#god i love asa she’s so fucked up and weird but she’s trying so hard!!#also yoshida just showing up out of nowhere with no excuse like girl why are you just at the aquarium in ur school uniform#i hope he keeps being weird but never does anything significant. i don’t trust that kid but it’d be so funny if he’s just there for funsies#but also the dynamic of denji asa and yoshida being a wildly unsuccessful love triangle is funny to me#like i don’t think that’s actually what’s happening but it’s funnier than shipping any configuration of the three#like none of them are actually into each other but they just keep striking out and getting mad about it#beth watches csm#csm spoilers#i love to make a post about chainsaw man and then the tags are completely unrelated but still about chainsaw man
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i log on to this site. i write essays about dnp and their gay little antics. i save them to my drafts because i am scared of being perceived. i log off again
#i have thoughts. but at what cost#i know people on here are generally really cool but i dont wanna risk it lshfldkjfslkjg#like this isnt twitter but there are still topics that people will bully you for having the wrong opinion on djfskkjfk#and also theres the fact that my dissociative episodes have been better lately since im less sleep deprived but#i still have a really hard time trusting my own perception of reality sometimes if that makes sense???#like every time i try to express a serious thought on here my brain goes#ok but what if i got all of this wrong.#what if i misremembered everything and i cant read suddenly so i cant fact check it#what if dan and phil arent even real and i just made them up and nobody knows what im talking about dsjhgljglknfls it's rough#it's making it really hard to finish my thesis project as well bc i second guess every single thought i have like i cannot trust myself.#losing my mind#discussing dans phantwerp autism blunder over the last few days really took it out of me#bc i started panicking like omg what if he didnt even say that at all and i just completely made it up dsflglglsknvlknvlnknkldsnv#anyway rip to the 126 posts in my drafts which will never see the light of day
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im not even the biggest bradford fan but whenever i think about how they got rid of any nuance or self-criticsm they could have on the "kids going on dangerous adventures and having to save the world" in favor of just having bradford be evil despite giving him an understandable backstory and then trying to prove hes REALLY evil by making HIM be the one to tell della about the spear and that he was ~pure evil the whole time~ THAT ⬆ is how i look
#plant talk#I REALLY ENJOYED HIM AS A VILLAIN TBH... i was like Ooh we're gonna get Nuance.#and erm... we didnt........................#dt criticism#YOU CAN HAVE A CHARACTER THAT DOES BAD THINGS. THAT THINKS THEY ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING. AND NOT HAVE THEM BE A COMPLETE DOUCHEEEEEE#WHY WOULD HE (IN CHARACTER( TELL DELLA ABT THE SPEAR. like with how smart they made him#i think he would EXPECT that scrooge would spend a shitton of money to try and find her. and he doesn't like spending shittons of money lol#even if it was to 'make scrooge vulnerable' or whatever#bradford being an evil advisor is so fun tho. that was his peak.#but also like... bradford practically MIRRORS the kids on how he was taken on dangerous adventures and stuff. but he didnt enjoy it at all#a bad guy projecting onto children is REALLY FUNNY. THEY SHOULD HAVE LEANED INTO ITTTTT trust me. trust me
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To socialise or not to socialise, that is the question.
#Looked at two places I could move out to & they are complete opposite vibes in terms of socialableness#Both have roommates ofc but one gives me a lot more of my own space & it seems like I would barely have to interact with them at all#So I'd be left pretty much completely alone. Which is usually the dream#And ngl knowing the other people there would keep to themselves & have no interest in knowing me is especially relieving#Given the whole thing that pushed me to move out in the first place#The other has extremely small & cozy vibes. Owner's stuff all over the place#By cozy I do mean cluttered#The girl I met with there (not the person I'd be renting from) gave me a tour for five-ten mins#And then the next 30 mins-60 mins we spent chatting over tea#Someone more sociable than me might call it instant bestie vibes#Which. Has been something I've kind of very much been missing/yearning for irl I will admit#& from the sound of it the person subletting has the same vibes with her#She says he's 'interesting' and 'I'd like him'#From the combination of her description and the clutter I'm getting eccentric professor vibes#Which is generally a good vibe to me#But I am even more skittish of renting from someone t#Too sociable#After prev landlord#Though I want to trust othet tenant's vibe check. Because it might actually be very nice to have some kind of real life friends#It's also a very different kind of sociable than prev landlord#She was 'chatty and gets you to open up easily' sociable & it sounds like the other guy will be approximately the same#& also 'repeatedly assures you can ask her to stop if she's being too much' sociable. Which is always a relief#Meanwhile prev landlord was 'wants to know why you're not relaxed & tells you you should be without doing anything to help you be' sociable#'gets very pushy about finding time to talk/hang out' sociable#'teases you for being awkward' sociable#None of which were the real issue with him of course. But they didn't help & I can't help but see them as red flags in retrospect#I'm currently leaning towards 'to socialise' because it was a very cosy vibe & I do feel starved of irl friendship just a bit#But it could either be very good or very bad#& I don't want to risk very bad again#Anyway. This has been missives from a pizza shop I ducked into to charge my phone before I go back to being lost in a snowstorm
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question for you all
(the husband is NOT abed. important info)
(read the tags for my “abbreviated” thoughts If You So Desire)
#because like#obviously he’s gay like I think we all agree his character makes no sense unless you read him as gay#so him having a wife would likely completely counteract all that queer coding and just be. completely wrong for him#which would be difficult to watch tbh#BUT#if he has a husband it means the writers acknowledge his queerness but are ignoring what that means for his relationship with abed#like they’re just making him gay for representation points and giving him some throwaway husband character#voltron style#actually both of these options are kinda voltron style tbh#but one of them is referencing klance and one is referencing shiro or whatever his name is#I’ve never actually seen that show thank god that migjt be too much for me#ANYWAY I got very sidetracked#so yeah him having a husband would also be. ouchie. like what about abed. what about everything theyve been through#what abouuuut trust#jesus christ okay that’s enough tags#just curious abt yalls thoughts on this#community#nbc community#community nbc#abed nadir#troy barnes#trobed#troy and abed#community tv#six seasons and a movie#community movie
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