#I’m very curious so pls vote!

[mer-birdman]

I AM DYING OF LAUGHTER HERE

GO FIGURE THAT SOMEHOW FOLKS WOULD COME OUTTA THE WOODWORK TO ENSURE I START CHAPTER 3 OF A FIC I HAVEN’T UPDATED IN ABOUT FOUR YEARS

i love you guys i cackled so hard when i saw the results

I am shamelessly stealing this from @faejilly because help i need to write

Rules: Make a 24-hour poll with the names of your WIPs and then for whichever wins, write one sentence for every vote it gets.

Tagging anybody else who wants a kick in the pants to get some writing done :)

[buttsniffingdyke]

pls vote and share I’m very curious

[autumnshighlady]

I’ve Always Liked to Play With Fire (part 8)

NESTA ARCHERON X ERIS VANSERRA X FEMALE!READER

summary: you finally meet Emerie and Gwyn, but an argument between Cassian and Nesta spirals out of control and you come head to head with the High Lord

warnings: the usual IC slander

word count: 6k 

DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE

a/n PLEASE READ: so the vote was almost 50/50 between doing a time jump and not doing a time jump, so I decided to meet y’all in the middle. There will be small time jumps, especially in the next chapter, missing a few important ACOSF moments but they will be mentioned briefly. I hope this is ok! Also this is sort of a filler chapter but I think you guys will like it. I’ve put out like 3 chapters in one week I’m exhausted haha

feedback is appreciated, just no hate pls! these are just my opinions, i’m more curious to see how you all like the writing and characterization and storylines!

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

part 6

part 7

read on ao3

Spotify playlist

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“Are you even listening?”

“No, not really.”

Azriel rolled his eyes at you for what was probably the fifth time that hour. You were sitting in an office area of the House, a map of the Night Court laid out in front of you. Scrolls and manuscript were strewn across the desk messily, as if whoever had been in here last had not bothered to organize it. The soft glow of lanterns illuminated the table in an otherwise dark room, the window nearby facing the mountains rather than the vibrant city below. Azriel had followed through on his promise to teach you about the Night Court before your other training resumed, actually letting you sleep in for once.

Just this one time. He had promised, and you knew he’d meant it.

You had covered Illyria so far, to your distaste as much as Azriel’s. It was interesting how much he loathed his own people, but after delving into their practices you could see why.

“And Rhysand just lets this happen? He allows females be crippled and used for breeding?” You had asked when the spymaster told you about the wing-clipping practice.

“Illyrians are slow to change.” Was all Azriel had said. You pointed out that oh-so powerful Rhysand could simply make them change, or use his mind control abilities to influence the Illyrian leaders. But Azriel had only glared at you, ignoring your comment before moving onto the next subject – the Court of Nightmares.

Which led you to where you were now.

“So let me get this straight,” You said after Azriel rolled his eyes. “The Court of Nightmares is in the Hewn City, and that’s the side of the Night Court that the rest of the world sees and views it to be.”

“Correct.” Azriel huffed, blue siphons reflecting strange casts of light from the lanterns.

You straightened your back. “So my same point as Illyria still stands. Females are suffering there too – you said the Morrigan was rescued from her own family from that very court. But why’s she the only one being saved? What about all the other females in there being sold off into marriage like cattle?”

Azriel’s scarred knuckles tightened in annoyance. His voice was clipped and tense, as you were clearly testing his patience. “Like I said twice already,” He said through gritted teeth. “Change does not come easy. And besides, they have an agreement of sorts. Rhysand lets them do what they please, in exchange for recognizing his authority and providing an army if needed.”

“But you said they have the right to refuse.” You pointed out.

“Yes. The Court of Nightmares has autonomy within the Night Court. It’s the best way to keep the peace.”

“Except for the females.” You muttered, fiddling with a scrap of paper and tearing it up in your fingers. It wasn’t fair how Rhysand and Feyre had the power to help so many people, yet choose to keep things the way they are. Nesta had told you that Feyre often shifted into an Illyrian form – wings unclipped and able to fly her through the sky, above all the female Illyrians down below who were crippled and kept for breeding. The thought of her flaunting those wings when half of the Illyrian population had them taken away simply for being born female made you sick. But it was something to consider for your long-term plan.

“I know it’s hard for you to understand,” Azriel said lowly. “And I know it’s hard for you to hear this as a female. But we help out where we can with the resources we have.”

“No you really don’t.” You scoffed, and then spoke again before the shadowsinger could object. “But if that’s what you have to tell yourself to sleep at night then by all means.”

Azriel huffed, and you felt another twinge of guilt. It wasn’t entirely his fault – he had no authority over the High Lord and Lady, he couldn’t go behind their backs or tell them what to do. You wanted to like Azriel, and a part of you did. But the other part was resentful that like the rest of the Inner Circle, he did nothing to challenge their ways.

“I am trying to help you.” Azriel said slowly, turning his hazel eyes to yours. “I wasn’t lying when I told Rhysand that you had potential. You’re a quick learner, and you’re extremely clever. I want you to succeed and find your place in this court, but I can’t help you do that if you fight back with snarky comments every chance you get.”

“Have you considered that maybe adjusting to your court is difficult for me considering where I came from?” You challenged, meeting his gaze with your own. “Forgive me if it takes some time for me to come to terms that I live in a court where if I had wings or was born in the Hewn City my only purpose would be for breeding.”

“You haven’t been here for long,” Azriel said cooly. “Give it time.”

You sighed, dropping the remains of the paper onto the desk. “If you say so.”

Azriel stared at you for a minute, unblinking. It was impossible to read his expression, as usual. A strand of dark hair fell onto his forehead artfully, contrasting with the golden light and making him look like a painting. “What?” Your tone came out snappier than intended.

“I think you should spend some time with people from this court who aren’t part of the Inner Circle.” He suggested slowly, as if waiting for you to lash out. “Instead of just training with me, you can join the sessions with Cassian and the others. Would that be something you’re interested in?”

You paused, weighing your options before considering his words. Would that be something you’re interested in? He was giving you a choice – your first real choice at the Night Court that wasn’t coerced or scripted. If you wanted to say no, there would be no consequences. But then you thought about Nesta, and the friends she had made. You’d be able to meet them this way and get to know them – spending more time with Nesta was a bonus. You’d have more of an excuse to be around her now, and to coordinate your plan.

The fight. You mentally cursed yourself, remembering last the Inner Circle checked, you and Nesta were on the outs. You didn’t want to have to keep up the argument act, but maybe you could stage something else, something that made it seem like the two of you were on the mend. They’d think it was Nesta ‘healing’ because of them and pat themselves on the back, but you’d have to forgive it and let them have this temporary victory before you pull the rug out from under them.

“I guess I could give it a try.” You said hesitantly, nodding at Azriel.

His lips twitched in a small smile. “Good, be ready at 8 tomorrow.”

*********************

You groaned, rubbing your eyes as you stepped into the training ring. Sleep was scarce for you last night, leaving you groggy and tired as you dressed yourself in the leathers laid out for you. You hadn’t seen Nesta yesterday, but you sent her a mental note about planning for today.

The two of you agreed that you would be distant, but not outright avoiding each other to make it seem more real – Nesta would apologize to you, and you to her, making sure Cassian overheard. Everything was set, now all you had to do was survive the grueling training.

As you entered the ring, your eyes scanned for Nesta. She was sitting down near the corner, stretching alongside a pretty redhead and Illyrnian woman. Her eyes were clear, devoid of the empty hauntedness that had resided in them as she recounted the past few weeks. Hair neatly braided back, she snorted at something the Illyrian female had said.

Taking a breath, you nodded to Cassian and walked over to where Nesta was. The general nodded back, glancing towards Azriel who shrugged his shoulders.

You approached hesitantly, making sure to look nervous. You could practically feel Cassian’s gaze boring into the back of your head, analyzing your every movement like a hawk. “Hey,” You said quietly to Nesta.

“Hi.” Her voice was quipped, yet soft. She looked up at you, expression unreadable. You hated having to play these roles, but you pushed that aside.

“Can I join you?” You asked, fiddling with the loose strap on your leathers.

The other two females glanced at Nesta, one of them raising her eyebrows knowingly. You wondered what Nesta had told them about you, how much they knew.

“Actually,” Nesta cleared her throat and stood up, and you could feel Cassian’s gaze shift to her. “I was hoping I could talk to you. Come grab some water with me.”

You followed her, Azriel’s eyes now on you as well. The two Illyrian males tracked your every movement as you headed over to the water station, grabbing a cup from the table. You stood in silence as you took turns filling it up, waiting for Nesta to speak. Finally, she did.

“I wanted to apologize.” Nesta said, swishing the water in her cup. “For how we left things. You were nothing but kind to me, and I lashed out. You were my only friend, and I was cruel to you. For that, I am sorry.”

You bit your lip, resisting the urge to watch Cassian’s reaction. “I’m sorry too,” You said after a few moments. “For what I said about everyone hating you. It was mean, and I didn’t mean it. I’d like to move past it, if we can.”

“Me too.” Nesta’s lips twitched as she spoke to you mentally. Don’t look, but Cassian just broke out into the biggest grin. He’s watching us.

I bet he’s proud of you for apologizing – thinks it’s all because of him.

Well, it’s not.

I know.

You smiled, following Nesta back over to the group. You glanced at Azriel, who gave you a nod of approval. It was working.

“So why did Azriel drag you here?” Nesta spoke up, interrupting your thoughts.

“He thinks it’ll be good for me,” You said, stopping to pick up a mat from the racks. “To spend time with others from the Court.”

Nesta hummed, sitting back down on her stretching mat as you unrolled yours. “Well, this is Gwyn,” She said, gesturing to the redhead. “And this is Emerie.” The Illyrian female raised her hand in greeting.

“I’m (Y/N).” You said, offering a friendly smile. Gwyn’s large, teal eyes gleamed, the freckles on her pale skin were like stardust in the sunlight. She seemed shy, but courageous. You knew she was a priestess in the library, meaning she had likely been through the unthinkable – the fact Nesta was able to convince her to come out of the library made your heart swell with pride.

Emerie glanced up and down at you, a smirk pulling at her lips. “We know,” She said. “We’ve heard all about you.”

You chuckled as Nesta fixed the Illyrian with a stern glare. You’ve told them about me, now have you? You said to Nesta.

Shut up. Her reply was just as stern as her gaze, but there was some lightness to it. Her cheeks were flushed red with embarrassment – it was adorable.

How much do they know? You quickly asked her.

They know we had a fight. They don’t know it was fake, but I think they suspect something. I trust them though, they won’t say anything unless I tell them first. They’re good people.

Works for me.

“We wondered when you’d be joining us.” Gwyn quipped, extending her other leg and reaching down to touch her toes. Nesta turned the other way, focusing on stretching her hip.

“Yeah, well Azriel knew I’d go crazy only seeing his face for the next while so he decided to chuck me in here with you guys.” You said, making Gwyn giggle. “He needs Cassian’s alliance to deal with me sometimes.”

In the distance, Azriel snorted. He’d clearly been listening, which was good. You wanted him to hear everything. You turned to look at him, and he shook his head and sighed. Emerie laughed, missing nothing. “Mother above, what do you do to him?” She said.

You shrugged, clasping your arms behind your back and stretching them behind you. “I make his life hell pretty much, isn’t that right?” You called out the last part loudly.

The shadowsinger walked a few steps toward you, hauling a large mat across the floor. “You certainly don’t make my job easy.” He muttered, setting it down in the middle of the ring.

You rolled your eyes, turning to ask Gwyn about how her training is going but stopped. Gwyn was watching Azriel, teal blue eyes following the movements of his muscled arms as he shuffled equipment around. She caught your gaze, blushing and quickly looking away.

“So,” You said, turning to Nesta. “What are we learning today?”

“More strength exercises, apparently.” Nesta huffed, groaning and clutching her stomach. “My abs are still killing me from yesterday.”

“Are we ready to go, or just going to sit there complaining all day?” Came Cassian’s loud voice. The four of you exchanged a glance, huffing as you stood up and kicked your mats to the side.

You liked Gwyn and Emerie. You could tell Nesta was relaxed around them in a way she wasn’t with the others in the court. You found no jealousy churning in your gut, only pride. Nesta having friends was a huge step, but then you realized something – eventually, you and Nesta would leave the Night Court. Gwyn and Emerie would have to be left behind, unless somehow they were okay with your plan and snuck away with you. But two females fleeing the Night Court was already risky enough, let alone adding two others to the mix.

We’ll worry about that later. You said to yourself, taking a deep breath and extending into the position Cassian was demonstrating.

*********************

“Nesta,” Cassian said after the four of you collapsed onto the mat, panting from exhaustion. “If you were to name a sword, what would you call it?”

Gwyn answered, though she hadn’t been asked, “Silver Majesty.”

Emerie snorted. “Really?”

Gwyn demanded, “What would you call it?”

Emerie considered. “Foe Slayer, or something. Something intimidating.”

You laughed. “That’s no better!”

Nesta’s mouth tugged upward at their teasing. Gwyn looked to her, teal eyes bright. “Which one is worse: Foe Slayer or Silver Majesty?”

“Silver Majesty,” Nesta said, and Emerie crowed with triumph. Gwyn waved a hand, booing.

“What would you call it?” Cassian asked Nesta again. You paused, confused as to why he was so persistent. Apparently, Nesta was the same because she glanced to you before speaking up.

“Why do you want to know?” She asked.

“Humor me.”

She lifted a brow. But then said with all sincerity. “Killer.”

His brows flattened.

Nesta shrugged. “I don’t know. Is it necessary to name a sword?”

“Just tell me: If you had to name a sword, what would you call it?”

“Are you getting her one as a Winter Solstice present?” You asked.

“No.”

“Then why keep asking?” You pressed, eyes fixed on Cassian suspiciously.

Cassian scowled. “Curiosity.”

But his jaw tightened, but you knew it wasn’t that – there was something else.

Why would he want you to name a sword? You asked Nesta.

No idea. She replied. I went to a blacksmith with him a few days ago and helped forge some blades. But that’s it.

“Back to work,” he said, clapping his hands and interrupting your thoughts. “For all that sass, you’re doing double time on the Valkyrie lunge hold.”

Emerie and Gwyn groaned, but Nesta surveyed Cassian for another moment before following their lead. You glanced at Azriel, puzzled, but he averted his gaze. You immediately grew even more suspicious – normally he’d just stare at you with that blank expression, revealing nothing. But his avoidance made you question what he wasn’t telling you.

Just over an hour later, you were back on your stretching mats cooling down. Legs shaking from the grueling exercises, you took a sip of your water before realizing it was empty.

“Here, give it to me.” Emerie said, extending her hand and taking your cup. “Gwyn and I are going to get more water before we all die of thirst.”

“Thanks!” You called out as the Illyrian female and the priestess headed over to the water station. Nesta glanced towards you, and you heard her voice in your head.

I’m going to talk to Cassian.

Before you could stop her, she stood up and stomped over with her arms crossed. You  glanced at Gwyn and Emerie, who were too deep in their own conversation to notice. Continuing to stretch, you listened in the direction of Nesta and Cassian.

“Why were you pestering me about naming a sword?” You heard her demand.

Cassian’s voice sounded in return, trying to sound nonchalant but failing. “I just wanted to know what you’d name one.”

“That’s not an answer. Why do you want to know?”

He crossed his arms, then uncrossed them. “Do you remember when we went to the blacksmith?”

“Yes. He’s giving me a blade for Winter Solstice?”

“He’s given you three. The ones you touched.”

Silence.

You heard the general tapping his foot on the ground. “When you hammered those blades, you imbued them—the two swords and the dagger—with your power. The Cauldron’s power. They’re now magic blades. And I’m not talking nice, pretty magic. I’m talking big, ancient magic that hasn’t been seen in a long, long time. There are no magic weapons left. None. They were either lost or destroyed or dumped in the sea. But you just Made three of them. You created a new Dread Trove. You could create even more objects, if you wished.”

“I Made three magic weapons?” Disbelief rang in her voice.

“We don’t know yet what manner of magic they have, but yes.” You turned towards the water station to see Emerie and Gwyn halting their chatting, as if they could see or sense the shift in Nesta. You turned towards her and Cassian, and you didn’t have to see her face to know anger was rising in her eyes.

“Who is ‘we’?” Nesta hissed.

“What?” Cassian said.

“You said ‘We don’t know what manner of magic they have.’ Who is ‘we’?”

“Rhys and Feyre and the others.”

“And how long have all of you known about this?”

He winced as he realized his error. “I ... Nesta ...”

“How long?” Her voice became sharp as glass. Everyone was watching now.

“This isn’t the place to talk about it.”

“You’re the one trying to coax a name out of me in the middle of training!” She gestured to the ring.

Cassian’s face grew pained. “This isn’t coming out the way it should. We argued about whether to tell you, but we took a vote and it went in your favor. Because we trust you. I just ... hadn’t gotten a chance to bring it up yet.”

“There was a possibility you wouldn’t even tell me? You all sat around and judged me, and then you voted?” You could feel something deep in Nesta’s chest cracking, to know that every horrible thing about her had been analyzed.

“It ... Fuck.” Cassian reached for her, but she stepped back. Everyone was staring now. “Nesta, this isn’t ...”

“Who. Voted. Against me.”

“Rhys and Amren.”

You sucked in a breath. Rhys was not a surprise – he hated Nesta and everyone knew it. You personally were not surprised by Amren, but could tell by the way Nesta froze that she was hurt. She had told you briefly that she shared a sort of friendship with the female once, before it all went to shit.

Cassian’s eyes widened. “Nesta—”

“I’m fine,” She said coldly. “I don’t care.”

She rolled her shoulders and strolled back to where you all were watching. Gwyn and Emerie looked at her with concern, but she did not acknowledge it. She left the ring without looking back at Cassian, or any of you.

Emerie was on her heels instantly, trailing her down the stairs. “What’s wrong?” You heard her say.

“Nothing,” Nesta’s reply came. “Court business.”

“Are you all right?” Gwyn asked, a step behind Emerie.

“Yes.” Nesta said before vanishing down the hallway. You wanted to go after her, but held back, remembering that Cassian and Azriel had to think you two were still only on your way to making full amends.

Talk to me. You begged, but no response came. You heard nothing but felt the roaring in her head. Nesta had gone silent again.

*********************

It had been hours, despite your searching Nesta was nowhere to be found. You looked in every corner of the House you could think – the library, her room, your reading nook, nothing. Nesta had not reached out to you either, but you hoped once she calmed down she would.

Your mind wheeled from earlier. Nesta had made a new trove, and the Inner Circle didn’t even tell her – Cassian wasn’t even going to tell her, he only did because it slipped out by mistake. It was apparent they felt entitled to not only Nesta’s autonomy, but her powers as well.

Stomach churning, you crawled into bed and tried to sleep.

*********************

The next day came, and nothing was heard from Nesta. Azriel had not come to check on you either. Something was wrong.

*********************

Nothing the next day.

*********************

On the third day, you stood on the balcony. Your eyes were puffy from lack of sleep, hair unkept. You hadn’t slept once since Nesta disappeared, and nobody had told you anything. Training was suspended temporarily with no explanation, and worry nagged away at your gut. You had no idea where Nesta was.

Please, You begged her for the millionth time. Let me know you’re okay. I’ll do anything, Nesta. Just… please tell me you’re ok.

You felt a sudden gust of wind behind you, cooling the sweat on the back of your neck. You turned around, seeing Azriel. A few feet behind him was Rhysand, which filled you with dread. The High Lord looked haggard, his raven-black hair disheveled and his black shirt wrinkled. Azriel didn’t look much better either.

You stormed over. “What the hell is going on?” You demanded, not caring who you were talking to. Rage took over, that familiar sea of anger rose inside of you.

“(Y/N)...” Azriel began, taking a step towards you.

“Where have you been?” You cut him off, glaring. “What the hell happened that everyone disappeared for over two days? Where is Nesta?”

“Let me explain–”

“You…” You hissed at Rhysand, pushing past the spymaster. You stormed to the High Lord, who looked defeated. “This is all your fault.”

“What are you talking about?” Rhys’ voice was flat.

“I heard Nesta and Cassian arguing,” You hissed. “She made some sort of magic weapon accidentally and instead of telling her and letting her help decide what to do, you voted about it without her? What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

The High Lord’s violet eyes sharpened, and he glared at you. You felt his presence surrounding you, pushing you to submit to him, to his power. Instead, you ignored it, staring down the male who you hated so much.

“Nesta is fine.” He said sternly.

“Then where is she?” You demanded, cocking your head. “Why did she just disappear?”

Rhysand growled. “She’s with Cassian, they’ve gone away for a couple of days.”

“Rhys…” Azriel’s deep voice sounded from behind you. The High Lord’s simmering violent gaze went glassy for a split second, but enough for you to know that he was telling his spymaster something.

“No,” Azriel said firmly, striding over to face his High Lord. “She deserves to know.”

You furrowed your brows. “Know what?”

Rhysand hissed. “Quiet.”

“No,” Azriel growled. “You put your trust in me to supervise her, and I say that she deserves to know what’s going on.”

“I’m with the shadowsinger on this one.” You said, folding your arms across your chest. Rhysand had not moved, just continued to glare down at you.

He didn’t trust you, that much was easy enough to detect. He still judged you for being from Tamlin’s court, as if you were responsible for Tamlin’s actions against Feyre. No matter how hard you worked, no matter if 500 years went by of you proving your loyalty over and over again to the High Lord, he would never trust you. He would always watch you from the corner of his eye with doubt.

“Fucking tell me.” You growled, fists curling. A scarred hand clasped your shoulder and squeezed, urging you to calm down.

“Come, I’ll explain.” Azriel said softly before glaring at Rhys. “I’m telling her, Rhysand. And if you want to stop me you’re going to have to use that mind control of yours.”

The High Lord’s jaw clenched, darkness filling the area. “I think you’ve grown too close to the matter, Azriel.” His tone was commanding and lethal. “Let’s go.”

“No.” You interjected, yanking your shoulder out from under Azriel’s hand. “You’re going to tell me what happened, right here, right now. And he’s going to shut up and give answers.”

Azriel bit his lip, possibly worried that Rhysand would strike you down there and then. He placed himself between you two. “Okay.” He said firmly. “You know how Feyre is pregnant, right?”

“Yes.” You said, caught off guard for a moment. Azriel’s voice sounded distorted as you got lost in your own mind, recalling Nesta’s words. That’s when we also found out Feyre was pregnant, although Rhys later told us that the pregnancy would kill her since the baby has wings.

“...so he decided to keep it from her until a solution was found.” Azriel continued, recapturing your attention.

“Let me guess, you haven’t found one and Feyre doesn’t know.” You stated, looking at Rhysand instead of Azriel. The High Lord said nothing, only continued clenching his jaw and glaring at you.

“Not yet,” Azriel said calmly. “But she does know now. In her anger from the vote, Nesta decided to storm into the city and tell Feyre about what everyone else knew – that the baby would kill her.”

“Good.” You shot back, furious – while Feyre was far from your favourite person, she was a female who deserved to be able to make a choice about what to do with her body and the baby that was killing her. “Feyre deserved to know, you idiots. How could you keep this from her?”

“Nesta told Feyre to hurt her and to spite me,” Rhysand growled. “Not because she had her best interest in mind.”

No shit, You thought. Nesta owed you nothing. She had all her choices taken from her, and she wasn’t about to let that happen to her sister.

“Shut up, Rhys.” Azriel growled, causing the High Lord to blink in surprise. “But yes, she told her out of anger. Everyone got mad, and Cassian grabbed her to get her out of Velaris. They’re staying in the mountains for a few days until everything calms down.”

Your blood stilled. Something didn’t make sense – you understood taking a few hours apart, but days? Either Azriel wasn’t telling you something, or Rhysand was withholding information from his shadowsinger. You heard stories of the heightened emotions that went along with having a mate. If Feyre was upset and Nesta had been the cause of that, Rhysand would have been angry as hell. Possibly angry enough to….

“You threatened to kill Nesta, didn’t you?” Your voice was barely above a whisper as your gaze landed on the High Lord.

He didn’t answer, so you spoke again, louder. “Didn’t you? That’s why Cassian had to stay away for a few days with Nesta, because he was worried that you’d kill your mate’s sister.”

Azriel furrowed his brows, the first time you’d ever seen him confused. “That’s not true,” He said, but his voice was flat, as if he was trying to convince himself of it as he turned to his High Lord. “Right Rhys?”

The High Lord of the Night Court gave no answer, darkness curling around his fingertips as he stared you down. You could tell he wanted nothing more than to mist you on sight – you laid him bare and tore him down in front of his most trusted friend, exposing him for what he really was. And he hated it.

“Rhys?” Azriel’s voice lowered.

Rhysand finally spoke after a few seconds. “I’m not going to hurt Nesta.”

“But you threatened to?” You challenged.

“Yes.”

Azriel sighed. “Are you fucking kidding me, Rhys?”

A rage that you hadn’t felt before bubbled up inside you. The High Lord of the Night Court, who let the females in Illyria and the Hewn City suffer and be used as breeding cattle, had threatened to kill Nesta, his mate’s sister. Despite how much he claimed to love Feyre, he still treated her like any female of his court by not giving her a choice – he could offer sanctuary to the females in Illyria or the Hewn City like he had with the priestesses in the library, but he didn’t. This male insisted that the monster facade he put on for other courts was purely for show, but you knew that at his core, that’s just who he really was.

And he chased Nesta out of the city because she did what he was too afraid to do.

“This is all your fault, Rhysand.” Your voice was steady, cold as the edge of the sharpest blade. “You didn’t tell your mate that she was going to die, and you threatened to kill Nesta because she let her sister have a choice. You locked her up here because you couldn’t control her like you do the others, pretending like it was for the sake of helping her. You let two thirds of your court live in suffering, then wonder why they hate you. You’re a terrible ruler and an even worse mate, Rhysand. And you will get what’s coming to you.”

The High Lord said nothing as you turned on your heel and strode back into the House, leaving him and Azriel alone on the balcony.

*********************

The next few hours felt like a blur – part of you expected Rhysand to return and rip you to shreds for threatening him. It was stupid of you, but you didn’t regret it – you could tell by the way Azriel’s demeanor changed as he found out Rhys neglected to mention his threat to Nesta’s life that he was shocked, and mad that he was not informed of it. Maybe seeing you stand up to Rhys would give him a backbone after all.

You drifted into sleep, hoping that you wouldn’t wake up in a cell.

*********************

A gentle hand on your shoulder woke you. Your vision was blurry as you lifted a head from the pillow, the sunlight casting a golden glow on the female sitting on your bed.

Nesta.

All sleepiness was gone and you bolted upright, not caring that it made your head spin. Before you could say anything, her arms wrapped around you and held you tight. In your grogginess, you yelped and fell back, head hitting the pillow once again. Nesta followed, still clinging to you as her weight landed on top of you but you didn’t care. The hole in your chest from the past few days swelled as you held the eldest Archeron in your arms again, clutching her as if she would float away.

Tears flowed down your cheeks as Nesta nuzzled her head into your neck, her shoulders shaking, indicating she was crying too. The two of you laid there, Nesta laying on top of you and clutching onto your frame as if you were her lifeline. A white, soft glow began to shine from your sternums, merging into one beautiful light. It filled the room as you held each other in the embrace – life and death entwined into one beautiful force.

“Nesta…” You sobbed, bringing a hand up to cradle her head.

“I’m here.” Her voice was shaky as she spoke into your neck. “I’m here, darling.”

“Azriel told me everything,” You choked out between sobs. “About Feyre and the fight. And the mountains. And Rhys… he threatened to kill you….”

“I’m so sorry…” Nesta’s voice was muffled. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“Shh.. It’s not your fault.”

“I wanted to reach out, I really did. But I couldn’t. I just broke out there, I wanted to die. I couldn’t do it.”

Fresh tears washed out the dried ones, and you held her closer. You wanted to burn Rhysand and his inner circle to the ground for this, for breaking Nesta down until she truly believed she was unworthy of life and love.

“It’s okay,” You said quietly. “You’re here now. You’re safe.”

Nesta took a deep breath, but didn’t lift her head from your neck. She just kept holding you. “We hiked through those mountains for two days.” She whispered, voice hoarse. “Cassian was so mad at me. He had me haul the backpacks, he didn’t notice when I fainted. He didn’t speak to me unless it was to order me to eat or drink. Then when I broke, he held me. I thought he was going to stand up for me, say what Rhys did was wrong, that all of this was wrong. But then he wanted to fuck me just a few hours later. That’s all I am to him, isn’t it? Something to fuck but not enough to love?”

“Did you…?” Your voice trailed off, embarrassed for asking. You felt bad, regretting the question even though it had not fully formed.

“No.” She said quietly. “He was surprised. He tried a few times, but didn’t push it. He respected my decision, but I think he could tell something had changed.”

You inhaled deeply, letting her scent fill your nose. You missed it, craved it while she was gone in a way you couldn’t quite understand. Everything you did, every move and plan you made to escape the Night Court at its core was for Nesta. The female who laid on top of you, curled into your arms, had fought so hard and been through so much. She had been forced into a life she didn’t want, and would have to live in it for the rest of her immortal life. You wanted to get out of the Night Court not just for yourself, but so Nesta could have a chance to truly live.

“Besides,” Nesta said, lifting her head and staring down at you with grey eyes glistening with tears. “Cassian isn’t the one I wanted to do this to.”

Nesta leaned town and pressed her lips against yours. Your eyes fluttered shut as you melted into the kiss, grabbing the back of her neck and pulling her closer. Her soft lips tasted as sweet as you remembered, but this kiss was different than the last one. Last time, it was all fire and desperation, but this one was sure and intimate. Nesta’s weight on top of you was comforting, her legs tangled with yours as she tried to get as close to you as possible. Your lips broke apart for air. Your heart fluttered as she tilted her head and kissed you again, stroking your tear stained cheek with her hand. It was passionate, but not rough or overly sexual like you were pretty sure she was used to with Cassian – it was a kiss that came from the heart, just sexual desire.

The drums of time slowed down as your lips melted together. The glow between your chests continued to shine like starlight, shutting off the outside world. There was no Rhysand to threaten you, no Troves or death gods – it was just you two.

Needing air again, your lips broke apart. Nesta took a shaky breath, pressing her forehead into yours.

“It’s you.” She said breathlessly. “It’s always been you.”

taglist (comment if you want to be added): @queercontrarian @kitkat-writes-stuff @moonfawnx @sevikas-whore @weird-and-wise @jemandderkeinenusernamenfindet @kingshitonly @ladyofcherries @eerievixen @readingwritingwatching @peacecoffeeandflowers @a-frog-with-a-laptop @shadowqueen25 @lana08 @highladyofillyria @rachelnicolee @ladespedidas @little-darlingo @manonblackbeakquidditchteam13 @demirunner @terorovaerangi @hauntedandhopeful  @younxii @microwaveallthedemons @fanfictioniseverything @lovra974 @maddietheshoe @peaceandcrackers @emy1-9 @lostinfantasyworldsbi @issybee0611 @thoughtfulshepherdmongerkid @belledawnidk @whhyyynottt​ @dream-alittlebiggerdarling

[geonppangi]

now that we know that zb1 is getting a show, here are some variety content i want to see

one thing that i don’t really love about variety shows is sometimes they designate one member as the mc/judge because they have an odd number. which is fair! but also i like seeing everyone be able to participate, so i thought it’d be fun if they compete individually or in groups of 3 and then have an expert come in to moderate. so everyone can do it and it would be more educational for everyone too lmfao

also mnet if you’re reading this, feel free to steal these ideas. i want to see these happen so badly

art episode

yes this is because i want to see ricky kill it like????

but i’m also really curious to know how good the other members are at art

maybe like a the members draw each other?? and they can pair up the members who don’t know each other that well

or they can choose what medium they want to use and do like something that represents their upcoming debut like a collage or smth like that

i love mixed media can one of them pls do it

or!!!!! they can do a design contest for the fanclub mascot and we can all vote lmao

so like bts with bt21

would also be a really cute way to introduce the name like maybe the members find out at the beginning of the episode and then based on what they drew we can try to guess what our name is

the potential is endless i’m telling you

i could see them either inviting an actual artist in to help or just straight up letting them go wild

but ricky is their expert

so i just found out after writing this whole thing that jiwoong is also good at art?? ^^his art

so if he and ricky are the new experts now

i think it’d be cool to see them collaborate on a piece and it would be very chill

while in the bg you just hear the members losing it

cooking/baking episode

similar to the cake decorating they did during the finale

i’m also thinking like seventeen’s cooking segments?

we can do teams of 3

can be same format as when they were preparing for their performances on boys planet but instead of killing part, main vocalist, etc, it can be appetizer, entree, and dessert or something like that

to make it even more interesting, they can play a game to find out what ingredients they get or the secret ingredient that they have to work with

so either like the camping cooking segment or like the show mom vs chef where they get an unpopular ingredient and have to make it appetizing

OR no teams and everyone creates their own thing

and they invite a celebrity chef to come be their judge/mc

pls i need a gordon ramsay crossover

i want to see him and gyuvin interact like i cannot tell you why but yeah (also yes, gyuvin can speak english but idk how well)

halloween cosplay episode

i might be biased because i am a cosplayer

but imagine a halloween themed episode where they have to make their own costumes

maybe they’re given like different fabrics or random clothes to work with

and they can figure out their own hair, makeup, and props too

i want at least one member to try sewing like i need to see it

they could invite special guests to come and teach them how to work with stuff like worbla or a sewing machine

and then at the end they have to model all of the costumes and film a dance practice in them because ofc they do

AND THEY ALSO GO TRICK OR TREATING

dorm content

obviously we need some dorm vlogs!!

like if we could get an episode of the members balancing being idols and school for some of them

also a dorm moving in + bedroom decor episode

i’d love to see the members do challenges to win like a budget for their common space furniture

and then an ikea vlog of them trying to get furniture in a certain amount of time maybe??

or it’s a scavenger hunt for money inside of ikea while they’re simultaneously looking for furniture

also cooking vlogs or maybe the members try to host a housewarming party

i’d literally cry if they plan a housewarming and then invite their friends from boys planet to come

please i just need to see dog union and junrae reunite

and imagine if we can get wumuti, seo won, woongki, and hwan hee

this is purely wish fulfillment but i want it so badly

and i want to see their skincare + morning routines

closet tour?? the boys shared their clothes so often on the show that it was hard to tell who wears what normally

pc decorating episode

could be an album unboxing episode

and if the album itself has any sort of interactive element like how seventeen’s semicolon had the weaving kit then they could assemble that

they can also get toploaders to decorate

it can be based on the pcs they pull because i have a strange desire to know what their pc luck is like

also i know this is sort of blasphemy but it is their album so ig they get a pass

but imagine journaling but with the photobook and maybe stickers if they include any

in case you can’t tell, i want to see how artistic the boys are lmfao

amusement park episode

we all knew this was coming

why are we surprised

hear me out, it’s a combo of an escape room and an amusement park

so like to escape the amusement park they need to collect clues which are scattered all around the park

some of the clues require them to go on the ride first

they can also be split up into teams of 3 maybe?? to see who can get out first

and the team that gets out last has to go on a ride that the other two teams pick

school episode

i want yujin to be the teacher

and the rest of them are the students

and they all play some sort of character but like switched

watch sung hanbin and zhang hao switch

jiwoong and gyuvin

matthew and gunwook

this is purely because i need to see gunwook cringe while doing aegyo

gunwook our canadian oppa

tbh i think matthew can pull off the student president character

ooohhhh and he should debate too

and i saved the best for last

taerae and ricky switch, outfits and all

THINK ABOUT IT

LIKE RICH EXCHANGE STUDENT TAERAE

AND LOSER (AFFECTIONATE) FASHION TERRORIST RICKY

---

show and tell?? mini series

like i want each member to teach the other members a specialty of theirs

ig ricky’s was the art episode already so pretend that’s here

cafe episode

yes this was inspired by my idea of hanbin teaching all of the members how to tut and waack

but i feel like that’s too easy, so how about having hanbin bring the group to his family’s cafe and they run it for a day LMAO

or maybe help run it…

and hanbin’s mom can teach them (not hanbin bc cold injeolmi toast…)

i want gyuvin waiter like i cannot tell you why but

and taerae too bc the more i can see him smile the lighter my soul feels

and matthew waiter for the same reason ofc!!!

jiwoong making coffee, pls he has such barista vibes

hanbin on making hot desserts because i want him to redeem himself

and gunwook and yujin on decorating desserts because i also need them to redeem themselves for their cake

ricky on sodas and smoothies because his mocktail video was just too smooth like that’s what won me over

zhang hao on tea and tea lattes

idrk why but i feel like he’d be good on whisking matcha

like the violinist wrist yknow

strings ensemble episode

also zhang hao teaching them how to play violin

he can also play piano and gunwook said that one of his goals was to learn how to play

so what if they make their own little strings ensemble with gunwook piano solo

you cannot tell me that gyuvin doesn’t give off double bass and taerae doesn’t give off cello energy

as a cellist, i’m claiming taerae

ricky would probably play violin, like it has very expensive vibes

and hanbin too because haobin violin lessons…can you see the vision

i think yujin and matthew would play viola. i don’t have any reasoning but ik some violists and they all have that energy

jiwoong gives me saxophone vibes 💀 but since we can’t have that, i’ll also give him the cello

it has a really warm and deep sound?? idk i feel like it suits him but maybe i’m going insane

wouldn’t it be so cute if they played an arrangement of their debut title track

also not alone would be soooooo cute

learning english episode

with our canadian oppa matthew

i think it’d be so funny if ricky and gyuvin pretended like they didn’t know any english

ik vancouverites don’t really have a “canadian accent” but i want matthew to mess with them by doing like a newfoundland accent so badly

or he just starts speaking french but with like an english accent and we see how long it takes the other members to figure it out

i feel like ricky would know but not say anything

debate episode

so as we know, gunwook is a debate kid (i say that both lovingly and maliciously)

so essentially going seventeen’s debate night LMAO

i want the members to vote on something that they fundamentally believe to be true

like what way should toilet paper go

and then put them on the opposite team

BUT we follow actual debate rules so they have to do research and cite their sources

prepare objections, etc etc

all within like 15 minutes lmfao

---

musical episode pt 2

but i specifically want them to write the whole thing

one team can write the script, another can write the music and choreograph and another can build the sets and plan costumes

as the resident actor, i nominate jiwoong to write the script and help direct

maybe gunwook for writing too? he’s a nerd and a debate kid so i feel like his writing must be good

MUSIC TEACHER HAO WITJ DANCE TEACHER BIN AND SINGER SONGWRITER TAERAE

literally the dream team i’m sobbing

ricky on set design and costumes because he’s an art kid so i trust him

and matthew too because his cake in the final episode was actually really cute??

not sure where i’d put gyuvin and yujin? maybe gyuvin on script writing so he can be with gunwook because i will never get sick of watching them interact

and yujin on set design?? but also yujin and jiwoong (T ^ T) and i want to see the sheer chaos that is gyuvin trying to build a set

maybe they can play rock paper scissors to figure it out

actually just a whole school performance episode or mini series??

so each episode could be a different performance that they put on as a school recital

to perform for their parents LMAO (yes this is just the artist battle special star creator stage)

i need them to do a spoken word poem and or interpretive dance because i had to do that in elementary school and i need somebody else to share in my suffering

some ideas include: a poem about the importance of colours?? and a series of tableaus depicting the creation of the Canadian Pacific Railway

they could also do church plays but instead of stories from the bible they can be like korean folktales or disney ripoffs

and ofc they have to do the awkward singing and then doing hand movements that correlate to the lyrics of the song

could also be done with their debut track btw

i want fancams of all of this

sports day

you know i had to do it

isac also works!! but idk if they're doing that so um

so with the summer olympics coming up in 2024, i think it’d be so funny if they do some summer olympics sports

volleyball segment for gunwook our resident haikyuu nerd please

and they can wear the uniforms from the anime too

please please please wakeone think about it

also imagine a skateboarding episode?? idk why maybe it’s the north american but i feel like matthew would be surprisingly good at it?

also surfing?????

idk if the surfing scene in korea is good but if not they can always take a trip to hawaii or smth i certainly will not be complaining

esports + pc building episode

listen we have 3 whole gamers in the group, this is kind of perfect

the gamers can be the captains of each team

i want the lame ass esports poses and intros

and the stats too like imagine

ALSO if you guys have seen the trash taste pc building special but think about the potential

so it’s partly based on skill and also how well they can build a pc

so they build the pcs and then play using the pcs

there should be a separate prize or bonus for building it the fastest (but not necessarily the best)

also i want the editing thing where they have an expert build the pc properly and then every time that the boys fuck up, the clip of them messing up is played right after the expert does it the correct way

think about the chaos

mock trial episode

same sort of thing as the debate night but they have to represent their clients

i feel like sung hanbin would be the defendant like i have no evidence for this but i want someone to indict him

he just seems like he would be really good at pretending to have not committed a crime

and then 2 attorneys and 2 witnesses on each side

prosecutors: gunwook and zhang hao (imagine the haobin tension guys) (also gunwook just has major prosecution vibes idk what to tell you)

defence attorneys: matthew and gyuvin

prosecution’s witnesses: yujin and taerae

defence’s witnesses: jiwoong and ricky

i feel like gunwook and zhang hao would be really good and logical

but like how can you not want to trust matthew and gyuvin like they’re so sweet

also i need them for comedy

gyuvin would 100% object to random shit and i need that

i’m sorry but i can’t imagine yujin and taerae being very good witnesses so ig it balanced out gunwook and zhang hao?

and jiwoong and ricky would be AMAZING witnesses

like it took skill to not be evil edited so ricky would be able to keep his calm so well and jiwoong too like i would trust whatever they say

and the judge could be an actual lawyer they brought on as the expert for the episode

and the jury can be the staff lmfao

now what is hanbin’s crime you might be asking?

being too handsome tbh i have no idea maybe the fans can vote on it the week before or smth LMFAO

---

volunteering mini series!

it really warms my heart to see people give back to the community, especially idols because it inspires a lot of fans to do so too!

it’d be really nice if maybe as a holiday special? they went around to different places and volunteered to spread awareness for the causes

maybe it’d be better if they split up?

the members can choose what they’re passionate about too

my personal suggestions/ideas would be:

a retirement home (they can perform music for the elderly people there. i’m thinking zhang hao and taerae would be a good combo)

a hospital

a soup kitchen

a community centre (i’d love to see hanbin and gunwook teach after school dance lessons to children)

and the proceeds for the episode could go towards different charities or programs for these places (ie if they need more funding or renovations) as well as a link for fans to donate more to these places

---

[thesingingrevolution]

VOTE ON THE WINWIN KITTY VS PUPPY POLL

i ask because i really can’t decide…

he’s so cute and eager sometimes like a puppy… i think of that video from his birthday last year when he struggled to blow out the candles and his eyes were so wide he looked so cute

i think he’s also like a kitty in the sense that he is selective with his attention and is also kind of eccentric/quirky in a sweet and funny but kinda “teasing” way it’s hard to explain but he’s also very kitty to me

[hopecomesbacktolife]

poll for funsies, I’m so curious!

said Show & Tell, for reference:

(image is from Pinterest as I unfortunately couldn’t find a clear picture of ours in any of my photo albums)

I’m very curious to see these poll results! as children my sister and I grew up with one of these and spent many delightful hours with the records + slides and having fun storytimes, it was at our Oma’s house when we were kids and we absolutely loved that thing.

we also had a couple of Viewmasters (I think one of them was from the 1960s and one from the 80s based on what I remember of their shapes and the subsequent googling to identify) but I was thinking of some childhood memories today and decided to look these up, and it turns out the one we had (pretty much identical to the one pictured, right down to the spinning table beneath) is from the 1960s!!

I’d love to know if others had these growing up, and if so feel free to pop the approximate decade(s) you played with them in the tags! my sister and I grew up in the 90s and 2000s, but we were definitely raised on more vintage technology than the tech of the times, so sometimes I still run into a situation like this and start to wonder how anomalous our experience was for the time we grew up :)

also because I love sentimentality and nostalgia etc please feel free to share any fun & fond memories you have of these Show & Tell systems in the tags/comments as well! and thanks for checking out and voting in the poll 🫶🏻

[bucksangel]

(also pls remember to rb so other ppl that may follow me can see!)

[best-sim-tournament]

Here’s the list of characters for the competition so far:

Agnes Crumplebottom

Ajay Loner

Alex Moyer

Alexander Goth

Angela Pleasant

Ash Harjo

Bella Goth

Betty Newbie

Bob Newbie

Bob Pancakes

Bonehilda

Brandi Broke

Brent Hecking

Brant Hecking

Buck Grunt

Burglar

Bus Driver

Caleb Vatore

Captain Whitaker

Cassandra Goth

Catarina Lynx

Chip the Dancer

Chloe Curious

Circe Beaker

Daniel Pleasant

Dina Caliente

Don Lothario

Eliza Pancakes

Eric Lewis

Erin Beaker

Erwin Pries

Father Winter

Felix Psyded

Flower Bunny

General Buzz Grunt

Genie

Geoffrey Landgraab

Goopy Gilscarbo

Grim Reaper

Guidry

Hermia Capp

Hermit

Hula Zombies

Jenny Smith

J Huntington III

Jill Smith

Johnny Smith

Johnny Zest

Judith Ward

Juliette Capp

Katrina Caliente

Kaylynn Langarak

Kent Capp

Kevin Puri

Knox Greenburg

Lazlo Curious

Liberty Lee

Lilith Pleasant

Lilith Vatore

Loki Beaker

Lola Curious

Malcolm Landgraab

MarySue Pleasant

Mayor Whiskers

Mei Prescott

Mele Kahananui

Molly Prescott

Morgyn Ember

Mortimer Goth

Mystery Man

Nancy Landgraab

Nervous Subject

Nina Caliente

Octavia Moon

Olive Specter

Ophelia Nigmos

Orange Bailey Moon

Pascal Curious

Patchy the Scarecrow

Pollination tech 7

Pollination tech 9

Puck Summerdream

Rahmi Watson

Ripp Grunt

Romeo Monty

Servo

Sidney Price

Social Bunny

Stella Terrano

Summer Holiday

Tank Grunt

Temperance

Therapist/Sim Shrink

Thomas Watson

Thorne Bailey

Tragic Clown

Travis Scott

Unsavoury Charlatan

Vidcund Curious

Yamachan

I tried to include as many characters as I can think of! I’m not very familiar with the earlier games, so I might have missed a few from there. Pls let me know if there’s any you’d like to add!!!

I haven’t decided when voting has started, but I need to find a bracket template and sort some other things out first.

[alto-tenure]

Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright - Survey Results

Thanks to everyone who took my Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright survey, whether you found it from the PL or AA subreddits, from my earlier post here, or from my Twitter! Almost 350 people responded, which is way more than I expected.

Overall, the results pretty heavily skewed towards people who have played Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright -- around 81% said they had played it, and only 19% hadn’t. That’s about what I expected, given the nature of the survey. I tried to market it to people who hadn’t played the crossover too, because I wanted to know whether Ace Attorney fans or Professor Layton fans were more likely to have played the crossover, but I wasn’t very successful. Around two-thirds of responders said they were fans of both Professor Layton and Ace Attorney, but I had a bigger reach to just Ace Attorney fans over just Professor Layton fans. I suspect there are multiple reasons for this -- the first being that the Ace Attorney fandom is just...bigger. There are a lot more Ace Attorney fans than there are Professor Layton fans active on the Internet right now. Layton hasn’t had the same publicity in recent times that Ace Attorney has gotten from both the release of DGS in English and some prominent streamers (RTGame comes to mind). The other reason is that I’m in a lot more fan spaces for Ace Attorney than Professor Layton -- I basically only engage with Professor Layton via the Discord I run and posting on Tumblr, but I’m in at least half a dozen Ace Attorney centric Discord servers, so this survey was promoted to more Ace Attorney fans.

Only seven responders said that they didn’t enjoy Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright, and of those, two of them said they disliked the Professor Layton mechanics and two said they disliked the Ace Attorney mechanics. One other person said they disliked the Ace Attorney mechanics and didn’t play the Ace Attorney games because of it but still enjoyed Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright, and two other people said they disliked the Professor Layton mechanics and didn’t play the Professor Layton games because of it but still enjoyed Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright.

Of course, most people were fans of at least one franchise before playing Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright. About 33% of responders that have played the crossover said they were fans of both series before, which makes about 30% of responders being only fans of Professor Layton or Ace Attorney before playing the crossover.

More results under the cut!

Most people have played at the very least the first game of both series (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney + Professor Layton and the Curious Village). The majority of responders said that they’ve played the whole Phoenix Wright trilogy. The least played Ace Attorney game was Gyakuten Kenji 2, which I suspect just comes down to the fact that you can’t legally play it in English, and the least played Professor Layton game was Layton Brothers: Mystery Room. I don’t quite have as good of a pulse on trends in the Layton fandom, being relatively new to it myself, but it’s not as tied to the rest of the Layton franchise as far as I’m aware.

The favorite games among people who had played the crossover roughly reflects the distributions among the fandom at large -- there isn’t much correlation between “having played Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright” and any game in particular, to the best of my awareness.

The favorite Ace Attorney game was fairly evenly spread, with Trials & Tribulations being the top one at 25.4%. Here’s the top 5:

1) Trials & Tribulations (25.4%) 2) The Great Ace Attorney 2: Resolve (18%) 3) Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (13.7%) 4) Gyakuten Kenji 2/Investigations 2 (11.6%) 5) Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney (9.5%)

Every game in the series got at least one vote (shoutout to the three people who said Investigations 1 was their favorite, I didn’t think there was anyone who thought that game was their favorite. play Investigations 2 if you have the chance).

The Professor Layton favorite game results were much more heavily skewed towards Unwound/Lost Future, which is about what I expected. Diabolical Box/Pandora’s Box did much better than I had anticipated, and so did Layton Brothers: Mystery Room. I suspect that Mystery Room is the only one that has any connection to “liking and having played Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright”, since it’s also a murder mystery game (according to my friends who have played it, at least). Here’s the top 5, again:

1) Unwound/Lost Future (40.5%) 2) Diabolical/Pandora’s Box (16.2%) 3) Curious Village (10.9%) 4) Miracle Mask (9.2%) 5) Last Specter/Spectre’s Call (5.3%)

Azran Legacy and Mystery Room are both tied at 3.2%. Nobody selected Katrielle’s game.

Most people said they already knew everything there was to know about either franchise before playing, but there were a lot more people who said they knew nothing (1) or almost nothing (2) about Professor Layton. I suspect this one is due to how Ace Attorney is more pervasive in general pop culture; I had been aware of Ace Attorney before I got into it (mostly from Tumblr reposting “almost Christmas means it wasn’t Christmas” yearly). Meanwhile I didn’t know Professor Layton existed until I heard about the crossover. Then again, that’s just me, I’m fairly young (the first Ace Attorney game is older than I am) and thus don’t have a pulse on 2000s video game fandom. Someone who was around at the time the games were first released could probably tell me more about the culture.

This is the graph of how much people said they knew about Ace Attorney:

And this is the graph of how much people said they knew about Professor Layton:

About 28% of people said that Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright had an impact on why they played Professor Layton, with most of this group saying they played Professor Layton because they enjoyed the puzzles. About 32% of people said that Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright had an impact on why they played Ace Attorney, with most of this group saying they played Ace Attorney because they enjoyed the trials. Overall, most people said they played it either because they liked the main characters that appeared in the game, or because they enjoyed the mechanics, if the crossover had any impact on why they decided to play the game.

Some things I want to address:

1) Why Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright couldn’t be selected as favorite game in either series

I wanted to see if there was any major differences between the regular fandoms of Ace Attorney and Professor Layton in their preferences and people who have played the crossover. The answer was no. I appreciate the people who would say that Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright is their favorite in either series; it’s a great game (personally, it’s not mine -- yes yes I’m a little stereotypical but my favorites are TGAA2 and Unwound Future).

2) Why I made you choose between Barnham and Darklaw

Originally, this question was going to be “favorite inquisitor”, since the prosecution is a key part of any Ace Attorney game, but I knew that most people were going to select Layton for this question, so I took him out and just made it Barnham and Darklaw.

3) Yes, Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright was released almost ten years ago, I realize that

I’ve only been in the Ace Attorney fandom for around a year, and in the Professor Layton fandom for about a month. I know that there are a lot of long-time fans who have played the games as they came out, so thank you for trying to remember what your experience was like nearly ten years ago now! I appreciate it greatly.

4) Why I didn’t include “Yes, because I disliked [the characters]”

It would have made me sad if anyone said “Yes, the crossover impacted my desire to play PL because I didn’t like Luke and Layton/my desire to play AA because I didn’t like Phoenix and Maya”. It’s a little selfish, I’ll admit -- but I don’t regret my decision. It made me sad enough to see the few people who disliked a fundamental mechanic of one of the game series haha, especially since I got into PL to solve puzzles

Some comments people left on the survey that I want to highlight:

- People tended to talk positively about the Golden Court and the soundtrack! Both of which, in my opinion, are major highlights.

- A lot of people complained in the comments about the ending, which is fair. Some people said they disliked how Barnham was shoved aside, or how Espella’s relationship with her father was written, or just in general how it felt like they were going way too big on the scale of the twists.

- Shoutout to the people that mentioned minor characters in there. Jean Greyerl is indeed best girl (and also trans, which yes was brought up in my comments). Emeer Punchenbaug is one of my least favorite characters from either franchise (none of the Layton NPCs annoyed me nearly as much as he did), but I respect the bit. And to the one person who mentioned Johnny Smiles, massive respect for liking a witness from the tutorial case that doesn’t really show up again.

- Another shoutout to the Professor Layton fan dating an Ace Attorney fan -- I’m glad the two of you had fun with the crossover!

- A couple people mentioned that they have a big soft spot for the game because it got them into one of their current favorite game series, most of those being Ace Attorney fans who got into Layton because of the crossover. I am high-fiving each and every one of you. I see you. I understand you.

- To the person that mentioned Danganrompa v3 -- I’ve never played Danganrompa and I have no interest in doing so, so I have...no idea what you meant by copying the ending of Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright, but I am vaguely intrigued because I can hardly see anyone copying it because of how crazy it gets.

- To the person who wants a TGAA/PL crossover -- that sounds like a really fun idea. I’ve thought about it before, but it requires either digging into Layton’s backstory as portrayed in AL or messing with the canon of Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright to make the timeline work.

- To the person who said Maya was their favorite animal -- I see you, and I salute you. Creachur vibes indeed.

Re: The Fun Questions:

1) The Barnham-Darklaw question did favor Barnham, but by a much smaller margin than I expected, if I’m being honest. It was 51.3% to 48.7%. I was expecting for there to be a lot more people who chose Barnham. It’s nice to know that it’s closer than I expected, especially as a Darklaw Enjoyer myself.

2) Eve the cat beat Constantine, but both of them beat Cracker. One person wrote in Snowy the goat, which I am deeply ashamed of forgetting. I’m sorry :(

3) The plurality of people didn’t like that I made them choose which crossover team-up was the best, but Phoenix and Layton took the crown, followed by Luke and Maya, then Phoenix and Luke, and then Layton and Maya.

I kind of wish I had included a question about side media, especially with Eternal Diva and LMDA being canon parts of the Layton franchise, but Ace Attorney doesn’t really have any equivalent (most of the non-game-media is just adaptations, either of the first game or the trilogy), so it would have been unbalanced. Besides, then it’d be a question of which media exactly I should include, because there’s a lot out there on both sides, and I’d probably have to exclude some.

Anyways, here’s the link to the results spreadsheet, feel free to make a copy and use the data yourself for some other analyses. I’d love to see if there are any correlations.

[lil-bit-louder]

7 (both giving and receiving[? if you can say that about someone else swallowing]), 3, 38, 45, 47, 48, 49!

😳

7 Spit or swallow?

… 🫣 swallow (im curious!)

(i haven’t sucked a dick but it looks fun..)

3 Quickest way to get horny?

open tumblr lmao. fr any post that’s like, framed as speaking to the reader as a sub gets me going alarmingly fast

irl, touching my leg under the table

(oh I was thinking w/ ur feet but yeah grabbing my thigh also makes me horny 😅)

38 How do you prefer your partner's pubic hair?

moderation in all things? lol I haven’t been w someone’s whose I’ve wanted to change 🤷‍♂️

45 Favourite sex toy?

I don’t have any 😔 unless pillow humping counts..?

46 Do you masturbate with penetration?

Not yet… I’m nervous about my butt😅 i definitely need to try it tho, maybe I’ll report back 😏

47 Do you like roleplay?

YES LET ME ROLE PLAY I WILL BE VERY NORMAL ABOUT IT

(i am a big roleplaying nerd but ive never done it in bed, lemme get way too into character pls)

48 Any funny sex stories?

a dramonie fic I read once where draco voted nader

personally speaking the time a girlfriend was worried being a sub meant i was gonna cheat on her bc that’s what happened on desperate housewives lol

49 Weirdest porn you've ever watched(/read)?

well i was on 4chan in middle school SO im gonna choose to interpret “watched” as “intentionally enjoyed” lmao

uhhh 😳 weird is probably either incest or monster fucking (weird as in taboo) free use/bored sex (weird as in strange) or unusual amounts of cum (weird as in gross)

weird as in specific, very frequently come back to this fic about a woman getting increasingly sexually harassed by a gang of lesbian ne’er do wells whenever they see her subway. it’s a steven universe fic? (i do not know steven universe. afaict the characters in the fic have *very* little to do w/ the alien rocks they are named for)

[object-show-analysis]

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO BUILT ROBOT BOW PLS I NEED TO KNOW IM SO CONFUSED AND EXCITED

I do! I have a solid theory that I’m pretty confident in and I’d love to share it.

Who Built Robot Bow

“Who built robot bow” seems to be the biggest question circling the ii community currently. And it’s a perfectly valid question! Especially considering the history that this series has regarding robots. But before we answer who Could be responsible, let’s talk about who’s definitely Not responsible.

I’ve seen many people suggest that villains such as Steve Cobs or Taco are somehow linked to the creation of Robot Bow. As interesting as that would be, we know this couldn’t be true, because the creators have outright confirmed that season 3 will not be linked to any major plot development in season 2, and that it’s meant to be a more lighthearted season. Taco specifically has been confirmed to not be making an appearance in season 3, as she won the popularity vote to get in, but she isn’t part of the cast because she still has things to do in season 2.

I’ve also seen some theories linking it to be either Walkie Talkie or MePhone. Which very well could be possible, but given MePhone’s surprise when Bow first showed up, in addition to the fact that until episode 3 of season 3 he didn’t want her around, I’m inclined to believe it’s not him. Walkie Talkie could supposedly be responsible, but there’s really no evidence to suggest that they are. So until anything else comes up, there’s really no room to speculate.

Personally I believe there’s a lot of evidence to suggest that TestTube is responsible for the existence of Robot Bow.

We know that TestTube is capable of making a robot such as this. She’s certainly made more complex projects in the past. But what really made things obvious for me was her reaction to Bow glitching out at the mention of chairs in the most recent episode

TestTube doesn’t seem concerned or confused for Bow at all. When Cabby notices that there’s something wrong with Bow, TestTube looks concerned at Cabby, and immediately interrupts her, grabbing her attention away. It’s very clear in this scene that she’s making an effort to keep Cabby from taking notes on Bow.

(TestTube later gives paintbrush the same worried expression when they notice something is up, but without the other evidence, this could just be read as concern for Bow)

We see no signs of TestTube’s own curious nature when Bow begins to glitch. It seems obvious to me that she knows something in this scene that no one else knows. She drags Bow away and tells her to “cool off” (interesting choice of wording) and it’s only after this that she really seems to want to get Cabby off of the show.

Obviously I cannot describe the full moment word for word but I do encourage others to rewatch the scene with the mindset that TestTube is displaying suspicious behavior.

It wasn’t just this episode that made me think that TestTube was somehow related to Bow’s reappearance. What really got me suspicious of TestTube was Fan’s elimination, in which he seems to whisper the words “you have to tell her”

(Lip reading was done by me)

The clip cuts to Cabby. But we know the “her” couldn’t have been referring to Cabby, because she’s no longer in the game. Her story is over (unless she rejoins, but there’s no guarantee of that) Therefore it makes the most sense for this to be in reference to Bow, the one who Cabby was studying earlier that episode.

I think that’s more than enough evidence to say TestTube is most likely involved, but I have seen some other people point out that we saw a Bow related machine built by TestTube back in season 2. Perhaps this also has some relation to Bow’s reappearance?

I definitely believe it was TestTube who is responsible for the creation of Robot Bow. Out of all the theories I’ve seen, it has the most evidence to stand on.

I’ve got a lot of thoughts on Robot Bow, and I can’t wait to share them in future posts (soon to be posted!)

[katierosefun]

can you pls pls pls tell me more abt your ocs (all of them!!) I want to know what they’re like!!! I can ask specific questions but I’d like to get a general grasp on them first!!! totally okay if you’d rather not btw I’m just super curious !!

hi anon! thank you for asking me about my oc's, because i love talking about them! there's a few different clusters of them, so here's a brief rundown of the oc's i have probably tagged under my blog . . . (and they actually have real names, but for privacy’s sake, i’ve just given them random identifiers) 

and oh . . . this got long, so hold onto your butts (i’ve got many more original characters than these, but these are the ones i think i can share the most of right now/have tags for):

black turtleneck slut & crew: an alternate 2020 - onwards

black turtleneck slut: about 20-21 years old. very grumpy, really loves black coffee. she may or may not have sabotaged some people in order to cross over to a place she really shouldn't be . . . but that's so she can regain some forgotten memories. (fancasted with han so hee but specifically her look in my name, lee ji eun, but specifically her look in my mister)

sunshine tol: maybe 19-20 years old. she's absolutely sweet, and like the title suggests, a ray of sunshine. i can probably best compare her to a rapunzel-esque figure--someone who’s very obviously sheltered but doesn’t really want to be, sheltered for reasons that she knows are important. (unsure who i would fancast her as. she’s just pretty tall, maybe 5′10 or so? and also hair that’s up to her waist. also, she likes to wear long skirts.)

scarf boy: 28-29. dark hair that’s dyed reddish-brown for reasons known only to himself and to his childhood best friend/work partner, girlboss but sad. has daddy issues and might be cursed/dying in 3 months. or maybe swallowed whole. we don’t know, he’s very private about it. something about a deal that he really shouldn’t have made. (fancasted with choi daniel, a cross between his look in school 2013 and jugglers, with the whole academic type look. usually wears a dark blue scarf and plays with it when he’s anxious.) 

girlboss but sad: 29-30. like the title suggest, she’s a girlboss--youngest ever to achieve the rank she’s achieved (at about age 16, making history in her world), although we don’t know what she’s done to earn that rank (well. scarf boy knows a little too well what she’s done to achieve that rank). insane guilt complex, like insane guilt complex. (unsure who to fancast her as.) 

ballerina lawyer: 22-23. think gifted child burnout syndrome + hyper perfectionist. might have grown up alongside turtleneck slut, somewhat of a narrative foil. someone play the plagues from the prince of egypt soundtrack, but specifically skip to the part where it goes once i called you brother. voted most likely to have a literal breakdown and then go to the next meeting looking like a porcelain doll. she’s . . . doing fine. 

ewan mcgregor (derogatory): probably mid/late 40′s. it’s funny that i’ve named him ewan mcgregor (derogatory), because i’ve changed the fancasting. he might have looked after ballerina lawyer and black turtleneck slut since they were kids. very coolheaded. also very cunning. can see right through you. literally. 

main relationships/tropes: 

black turtleneck slut/sunshine tol (r: i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this) -- i have a soft spot for them because they’re very much the “i hate everyone in the world but you, and now i’m realizing i want to love the world because you believe so much in it” + “lmao what a nerd. [pause] FUCK, THAT’S MY NERD” + hey, you know the trope of character a being bloodied and broken but staggering up to their feet and very quietly going, “if you want to get to her, you get through me first”? because that’s them. that’s them. some songs that come to mind when i think of them is paper rings by taylor swift + is there still anything that love can do? from the weathering with you soundtrack. 

scarf boy/girlboss but sad (r: when the sun came up you were looking at me): you want some childhood friends to work partners to co-parents to lovers? because that’s them, baby! they’ve known each other since they were little kids + pine after each other for so goddamn long, because part of it is “how can i love someone who i’ve hurt so badly” and “please don’t love me because i’ll be gone soon” and “i really wish we had more time, could we have some more time?” songs that come to mind when i think of them is funeral by maisie peters and out of the woods by taylor swift. 

spoiled brat (affectionate), anxiety gay, and the rest of disappointed sound’s silly children: takes place waaaaay back in time, thinking maybe the 14th century? heavily inspired by the korean joseon dynasty, but now make it fantasy.

anxiety gay: 18-22. a witchling who really just wants to keep living in the mountains/woods, but surprise, seems like she’s going to become some bratty princess’ . . . what? witch? what does that even mean? she doesn’t know. she doesn’t like that she doesn’t know. she’s worried about so many little things, but she’s also rather cunning, usually two steps ahead of everyone (probably because she worries about the worst possible outcome all the time).

spoiled brat (affectionate): 18-22. the said spoiled brat of a princess that anxiety gay is supposed to be a companion to. heart of gold, but has a rather, uh . . . fiery temperament. will casually flirt with anxiety gay, just to get her riled up. (it works way too well.) is smart, except she really hates academic life. 

shut up about the dragons: 17-21. another prince. smiley boy. smiley boy. knows way too much about dragons. terrified of water. he’s apparently supposed to marry spoiled brat (affectionate), but . . . he doesn’t really want to? he thinks she’s neat, but not in that way. he doesn’t really like the idea of ruling in general. 

my wife duh: 18-22. shut up about the dragon’s witchling adviser person. she’s probably the only one who can keep up with the prince’s rambling. very put together, very sweet. calmly braids other people’s hair and has a really good green thumb. 

disappointed sounds: 44-49. he’s basically looked after spoiled brat (affectionate) since she was a little baby. the type to accidentally adopt like a million children along the way. he’s pretty textbook in that he balances out his spoiled brat’s temperament, but he’s plenty cunning himself. he also knows how it’s all going to end, which gives him a particularly terrible burden. alexa play marjorie by taylor swift. 

main relationships: 

anxiety gay/spoiled brat (affectionate) (r: knew you tried to change the ending): rivals to friends to almost-lovers to enemies to lovers? it’s a windy road, but then again, love sometimes goes about that way. they get at each other’s throats at first, can often be found bickering and rolling their eyes at each other . . . until, y’know, a few life-or-death situations has both of them reconsidering their feelings for each other before they’re flung apart again, and then it’s . . . you know. the typical love as undoing type beat. anxiety gay is found crying into my wife duh’s lap because it’s unfair, that’s what this all is. also, something about two people training together and there’s a moment when spoiled brat absolutely rolls on top of anxiety gay, smiling wickedly and then her smile fading because oh god, feelings, feelings, feelings, GAY FEELINGS, and anxiety gay doesn’t even do anything because she’s just did she always look this pretty or am i going crazy and anyways, someone play cardigan by taylor swift, someone play betty by taylor swift. 

shut up about the dragons/my wife duh (r: so give me your two lips / and baby, i’ll shut up): friends to lovers, but i think unlike scarf boy/girlboss but sad, these two have a lot less angsty pining and a lot more . . . “you’re my best friend in the whole universe, and i understand you, and you understand me, and i guess i never really entertained the idea of you getting married to anyone else because in my head, it was always going to be the two of us” type of feeling. also, you know that trope when two characters run to each other in the middle of a battle and they’re all grimy but they scream and hug each other as soon as they realize the other is alive, you’re alive! and it’s the best and it’s also a messy “i love you so much, and i’m sorry i didn’t tell you that before, but you know, just in case we die, i wanted to let you know that i am so in love with you, and if you could just--” (and my wife duh kisses him very hard, because okay, i love you, please shut up. also, we’re not going to die.) 

and my newest children, who i haven’t really named yet, but i still need to kind of welcome them to the family: takes place right before the end of the world . . . (also i guess i’m going to make up tag names for them now) 

dear moon: about 22 years old? he’s not really . . . alive. but he has a very important job that involves dead people. i won’t go into much more detail than that, but it’s a very lonely life, and all he knows is that he needs to keep doing this before finding peace of his own. he only remembers a bit of who he might have been. isn’t scared of a whole lot of things except . . . maybe one thing. maybe that thing that creeps in the corner of his eye, maybe that thing that’s been following him around ever since he entered this line of work. he sleeps outside a lot because of it.

dear sun: also about 22 years old. he’s very much so alive. might have accidentally stumbled into dear moon’s work. doesn’t know who to trust, but dear moon is the first . . . not dead person who has extended him a hand, and so he takes it. he’s very sweet, and he has a mostly optimistic view of the world, even though he’s got so much of his own baggage. he also likes swimming, which is such a goddamn lucky thing. 

main relationships: 

because there are actually so many characters in this particular original work, but i guess we should cover r: a ghost story is a love story, because that’s what dear moon and dear sun are about: something to do with how do you love something that’s already dead and what does it mean to love someone, anyways and also what does it mean to live and honor both yourself and the ones you love? also, something about sun/moon imagery, also something about that one trope that’s just one person scrambling through a crowd to get to another person. also, peeling tangerines for another person. 

[wooyoung-a]

SUPER MEMA BUT I'M VERY CURIOUS what got u into the groups u stan now? :DD

NOT MEMA AT ALL PLS i actually like answering things like this 😭

SO ATEEZ DIBA i actually knew some of their songs na and i stanned them late last year lang right after their thanxx promos THEN

i had these bad bad thoughts bc i felt really depressed i couldnt talk to anyone, so my safe place was alone, in the dark, watching kpop funny moments AND this came up idk if u know this but here,, U DONT HAVE TO WATCH IT

all woosan moments in fer road got compiled in this big ass kpop funny compilations AND WHEN I TELL YOU I DONT SHIP IDOLS,,, I DONT,,

wooyoung and san changed that theyre literally so cute

theres this clip wooyoung kissed san's cheek when he was sulking and immediately, i binged watched all their shows and there we goo, they became my hope in hard times :D

THE BOYZ NAMAN idrk but ayun din sa kpop crack vids din i knew them na but i always stopped myself from stanning them kasi andami ko na groups na inistan and ayoko na gumulo lalo buhay ko HHSKSJAJ

IT WAS NO AIR OR DDD era palang I'm not so sure pero ayun nga i always told myself no, nope, not yet ansdkjna

PERO I ALREADY WAS CAUGHT UP WITH THEIR SCHEDULES !!! ASKJDNKAJ I JUST WASNT ADMITTING TO THE DEOBI LIFE

until stealer i was still denying it until kd happened and I felt really really bad nung hindi ko sila binoto with my tons of accs kahit isang beses sa first round SO LIKE... hehehe. .... hehh.... why not give half votes to them..... heheh....

THEN I just admitted that I'm a deobi in o sole mio nalang HAHAHAH glad they're both 2nd and 3rd thOooo

that basically summarizes it huhuuh sorry if messy HAHAHAH

HOW ABOUT YOU !!!! TBZ AND NCT DIBA ???? tama ba?? hAHAHHAH TELL ME CURIOUS DIN ME

[vanillawaiver]

i tried to figure out the enneagram types of dream smp characters

have you ever wanted to know the enneagram types, and therefore motivations and fears, of your favorite dream smp characters? that’s a rhetorical question. don’t answer. this post contains a quick explanation of the enneagram and an analysis for every included character. i’m just gonna put it all under the cut.

i’d absolutely love to hear your thoughts!

ENNEAGRAM EXPLANATION

a quick low-down on the enneagram, for those who don’t know:

the enneagram actually refers to a funky circular graph, numbers 1-9 on the outside that depict 9 different personality types. each type is adjacent to two other types around the circle (see image for clarification). the two types on either side are the possible wings for that specific type, a wing being an additional set of personality traits alongside the main personality type. an enneagram type is written as [type]w[wing]. for example, my enneagram type is 4, and i have a type 5 wing, so my enneagram type is 4w5.

(the lines through the inside of the enneagram won’t be mentioned in this post, but you can find more information on them online if you’re curious. i won’t link anything because links can be sketchy)

the nine enneagram types are mostly easily explained by their basic fears and basic desires. the enneagram is intended to explain the “why” behind someone’s actions, which is why it’s so hard to type someone else. you cannot get inside their head to find out their true motivations. however, today i am working with entirely fictional characters and not the content creators themselves, so i give myself a free pass. please don’t go around psychoanalyzing your friends or people you don’t even know and jumping to conclusions without their input lol

also all of these are just what i think ! if you (respectfully) disagree, i would actually love to hear your opinions - you are probably right and i am probably wrong.i don’t watch every stream or even know of every event, and my reasoning is probably weak at best. enough rambling, here we goooo

the grouping will be by type, just because… idk how else to organize this.

again, /rp /rp /rp ! i don’t know these ccs in real life and will not pretend to. i’m talking about minecraft roleplay.

(also, i didn’t proofread this. sorry fnjakdfda)

type 1: the reformer

principled, purposeful, self-controlled, perfectionistic

desire: to be good, to have integrity

tubbo - type 1w2

tubbo is a classic example of a type 1 being put into the worst possible situation for their current mental state. tubbo was the moral and sensical anchor for tommy’s more eccentric and self-centered actions, and they functioned as this duo UNTIL tubbo was made the president of l’manberg. tubbo’s more self-critical tendencies were amplified because his actions had so much weight. tubbo is quick to turn against and polarize those he sees as “evil”, making broad generalizations like “technoblade is wrong” and “tommy is good”, regardless of all the moral gray areas, and even changes his mind drastically between them as he seeks the right answer. (ex: exiles tommy, but then decides it was the wrong idea, and now seems to agree with everything he says again.) i think part of his flip-flopping comes from a sense of people-pleasing and generosity, again amplified by his position as the (now former) president of a nation.

type 2: the helper

generous, demonstrative, people-pleasing, possessive

desire: to feel loved/appreciated

quackity - type 2w3

(as far as i know) quackity’s first major action on the smp was to run for president. wilbur and tommy wanted quackity (as part of swag 2020) to share the votes of the two parties in order to ensure a victory over schlatt. however, quackity acted out against them because he felt used instead of appreciated for his ideas. schlatt promised him at least some amount of respect, so quackity switched sides regardless of what was better for the smp at large. i believe quackity kept looking for approval from others, but also some sense of accomplishment, by founding mexican l’manberg (is this even canon…idk but i liked it), starting the butcher army, and trying to bring schlatt back to life. quackity even fought technoblade despite being grossly unqualified and i believe this is due to the martyr mindset that often comes with unhealthy type 2s. 

type 3: the achiever

adaptable, excelling, driven, image-conscious

desire: to feel valuable

nihachu - type 3w2

(at the time of writing this, niki hasn’t had a ton of canon screentime, so this is mostly based off of the doomsday stream.) when in emotional distress, niki applies her type 3 ideas of being the best she can be to others, hyperfocusing on “teaching them a lesson” by destroying l’manberg. unhealthy 3s also tend to become jealous of other people’s happiness and success to the point they attempt to destroy it, perhaps explaining how niki’s character felt that no one wanted to listen to what she had to say about the political state of things. i see niki as a character that values her image in relation to others, hence the 2 wing. when fundy showed her respect, she became even more sure of herself, and this seems to be the kind of thing she is after.

schlatt - type 3w4

much like ghostbur (as mentioned later), schlatt is a very exaggerated character. it’s hard to type him, because the enneagram focuses around people who behave in the way real people do, and schlatt is a larger-than-life villain. i’ve typed schlatt as a 3 because of his narcissistic tendencies. schlatt not only wanted to be but believed he was integral to l’manberg’s continued function. unhealthy 3s tend to be devious and manipulative in order to hide their own wrongdoing, like how schlatt exiled the main opponents of his rule. schlatt doesn’t have the emotional introspection of a 4, only the temperamental self-absorption, but i think this is the best i can do lol

type 4: the individualist

expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, temperamental

desire: to be significant, to find identity

tommy - type 4w5

most of my reasoning for tommy’s typing comes from his time in exile. tommy displayed an impressive connection to his emotions, maybe just out of necessity because he was alone. his constant cry was that no one cares about him, but not in the way a 2 may fear the same thing. tommy feared he had faded from significance. when he felt this way, he was quick to make rash conclusions and decisions. he is self-centered, caring more about his discs than about anything on the server. the 5 wing is there because of tommy’s constant assertion that people pity him when they show basic human kindness. he dreads others viewing him as incapable.

type 5: the investigator

perceptive, innovative, secretive, isolated

desire: to be capable and competent

awesamdude: type 5w6

is sam incredibly important to the plot? not as i write this. but i don’t want to leave type 5 empty. sam does cool redstone and built a cool prison. he’s super swag. i’m too lazy to attempt to do an analysis. this is just what i believe to be the objective truth on his character. give sam your primes.

type 6: the loyalist

engaging, responsible, anxious, suspicious

desire: to have security and support

wilbur (alivebur) - type 6w5

(pls disagree with me on this. this was so hard and i didn’t start watching dream smp until after the original “it wasn’t meant to be” moment sjkdfadkl) it’s right in the l’manberg national anthem. a place men could go to emancipate the brutality of their rulers. wilbur created l’manberg for what i interpret as security reasons. a peaceful land without americans. as an american, i understand completely. wilbur demonstrates the tendency of 6’s to shun outsiders and to turn to hysterical violence in times of distress. wilbur’s final action before his death was to blow up his safe place, because he believed the security had been tainted. i have typed wilbur with a 5 wing almost exclusively because of the intentionally radical beliefs that unhealthy 5s exhibit, becoming obsessed with blowing up the place he once called home.

type 7: the enthusiast

spontaneous, versatile, distractible, scattered

desire: to be satisfied and content, to avoid pain

fundy - type 7w6

fundy grew up in constant distress, what with his dad kinda losing it and the constant political turmoil. fundy has acknowledged that there is nothing that comes from conflict except for personal gain. fundy is selfish (taking netherite meant for everyone, hardly taking other people’s feelings into account) by nature of the society he was born into. like most distressed 7s, he has mood swings and comes off as demanding. i gave fundy a 6 wing because of what i see as the origin of his issues: a lack of support and stability. because of this, fundy often seeks external solutions (material possessions) instead of internal ones (fucking THERAPY OH MY GOD).

badboyhalo - type 7w6

“l’manberg? pogtopia? who cares?” :D

type 8: the challenger

self-confident, decisive, willful, confrontational

desire: to protect themselves, to be in control of their own life

dream - type 8w7

(warning, a lot of this typing is based on my own theories about the smp, because dream doesn’t stream rp to give us his own perspective.) dream claims that his motivation, at least presently, is to cause as much chaos as possible, but this has to come from a more philosophical place. dream is the one who started the server, and, i believe, canonically created the world they all populate. dream’s rule was originally questioned by the creation of l’manberg, which he interpreted as a personal attack. as a type 8 would, he is attempting to destroy all that does not conform to the vision he has for a peaceful, unified server. this may make it seem like dream should have 9 wing, but i don’t believe stability factors into his reasoning. dream seeks fun, for himself and others, and also finds this by causing chaos, as mentioned before.

technoblade - type 8w7

now, just because techno and dream have the same enneagram typing here does not mean they are at all similar. techno also lashes out at things that do not conform to his vision (anarchy) but has a stronger connection to his 7 wing. he wants to protect himself because of the comfort and happiness that would provide, not exclusively to be in control. he cares more about the pain and suffering caused by the government. still, i don’t think techno’s primary motivation is to be happy, as he still causes harm and puts himself in danger in order to achieve his goals. when a type 7 would become depressed and isolated, techno decides to spawn six withers. to each their own.

type 9: the peacemaker

receptive, reassuring, agreeable, complacent

desire: to have inner stability, to avoid loss

ghostbur - type 9w1

more than anyone on the server, ghostbur is a two-dimensional character. (absolutely not meant in a negative way. i adore ghostbur as both comic relief and a consistent character. ghostbur simply doesn’t behave like a normal person, and that is the point.) this makes it difficult to type him, but i tried my best. ultimately, ghostbur cares about others, but not in the way a 2 does. blatant negativity from people he interacts with doesn’t affect him in the slightest. he hands out blue because he is good, hence the 1 wing, and not to be loved. the only time (i can remember) that ghostbur has expressed anger was when friend the sheep was killed in techno and dream’s terrorism upon l’manberg. loss is the only thing he seems to be afraid of, and he applies this to all people within the smp. 

philza - type 9w8

to put it nicely, philza is a mediator. to put it not-so nicely, he doesn’t give a fuck. philza has actually achieved much of the goals a 9 has, making him an anomaly on the smp. (most every one of these characters expresses extremely unhealthy characteristics of their type.) philza is accepting of others, and does more listening than speaking. however, philza still feels the effects of loss from murdering his own son in cold blood (just minecraft things <3) and presumably fears losing something else important to him, thus forming few attachments (ex: didn’t care his house in l’manberg got blown up, didn’t react much to tommy’s betrayal.) i typed him as a wing 8 because of his healthy self-confidence and confrontationalism.

please keep in mind that this is all referring to the dream smp characters these streamers portray. i don’t claim to know anything about their deeper philosophical reasoning for whatever they do irl. not really on that parasocial type beat, ya feel me? i would love to hear your thoughts.

 thanks for reading!

[highgaarden]

Lizzie/Landon - "I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so." (pls let them break a bunch of other stuff while actually having sex)

two-shot! read and comment on ao3, please!

where you cast those stones you wear;

rating: explicit chapters: 1/2 characters: lizzie/landon; background klaus/caroline, background hope/landon, background josie/penelope; the whole SS gang.

where you cast those stones you wear

part i

----

“There you are.”

Lizzie’s smile is the fakest ass fake smile he’s ever seen, and he’s seen a lot of them.

It’s how she smiles when Wade asks her for donations to his Anime club. Or when Dr Saltzman caught all of them at the Old Mill trying to make moonshine (Kaleb’s idea). Her smiles are especially at their fakest when she wants to pull Hope away from him for some magical assistance to whatever trouble she’s managed to get herself—

—and Josie, and Alaric, Raf, MG, (himself, though she’ll never count him) and probably half the school along as well—

—that week. “Just the person I wanted to randomly bump into in study hall.”

“Really,” he deadpans, not believing her one bit.

He shifts his book just a little closer to his chest. He’s not nervous, but her energy is full of it sometimes, and sometimes it’s just energy personified that bounces off the calm he tries to fill his study hall with.

You know, where they’re supposed to study – in silence, preferably – but with Lizzie, there’s never much of silence.

It’s with a bit of a niggling discomfort that Landon realises he’s learned her tells: Lizzie can talk up a storm, always, but it’s in tense moments that she can’t seem to shut up. Not that he’d ever tell her to shut up; he doesn’t know why he always just wants to be nice to her, despite her printing out posters of VOTE ARTISANAL JAR OF MAYONNAISE FOR HOMECOMING KING last semester and sticking them all over school.

 —

 “Well?” Lizzie prompts, clicking her tongue.

Landon’s just sitting there, and for all his humble bragging about being at the top of their classes he’s just… sitting there, with a look that tells her he’s not quite registering what she’s just said to him.

“I’m—I’m sorry?” he finally says.

Lizzie sighs loudly enough for the entire study hall to send glares their way. Landon attempts to tamp down on their aggression, but all Lizzie does is just sigh louder.

Sorry, Landon mouths apologetically again, raising his hand at Wade, who looks close to crying over exam revision.

“Landon,” Lizzie says with finality.

“Lizzie,” Landon matches her tone. “I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to repeat yourself.”

Murder is the only word that comes to mind with the glare she sends his way. But she decides to humour him.

“Wow, that’s so weird. I feel like I’m just mishearing you. Again, please—hey, I said please.”

Lizzie’s mouth moves around the words she’s telling him.

Landon continues to stare at her blankly. “Sorry, there’s just this weird ringing in my ears. It sounds like you just asked me to be your boyfriend?”

 —

 Elizabeth Jenna Saltzman.

Asking him, resident emo-boy, a marginally competent bird as she always ‘fondly’ calls him, to be her esteemed partner.

“Am I hearing this right?”

Lizzie hisses right through her teeth, “Do not insult me, you moderately competent bird.”

See?

He lifts his book as if to deflect the blow of her mighty glare. “Look, I’m not! I’m just – are you feeling alright? Been getting enough sleep?”

“Two weeks have passed since my mom’s come back, and I have thoroughly exhausted every single mother-daughter bonding activity ever, and she’s moved on from Oh Lizzie, my favourite daughter, I’ve missed you so much snuggling to Who is this Sebastian your father keeps mentioning lectures.” Lizzie adds flippantly: “I’m not vibing with it.”

“Sebastian?”

“Super sexy perma-teen vampire but a complete misjudgement of character on my end.”

“And this isn’t?” Landon mumbles.

“I need to get my mother off my back, keep up.” Lizzie inches forward in her seat. The ends of her hair graze the table with how much she’s leaning towards him, making him look her in her wide, blue eyes. Always with the theatrics. “You’re just about at the exact opposite end of the Sebastian spectrum. Mopey, dependable, not obviously good looking, but your other qualities probably can make up for that. And you’re the kind of guy would probably wake up super early to get me a coffee and croissant before school, because that’s just how cheesy you are.”

“Thanks?”

“Don’t interrupt me. Anyway, it’s not just for my benefit either.”

“Somehow I find that hard to believe.”

Lizzie’s smile widens just a touch. “Heard your little crush on Hope just went up in flames.”

So is his face now, all puffed out and embarrassed. He lowers his voice and hisses, “How do you know about that?”

“Oh Landon. My sweet thrift store hobbit,” Lizzie sighs. “Everyone knows about it. You wear it like a badge of constant glumness. You didn’t speak to Jed for a whole week after he bought her a sandwich last week.”

“I could’ve bought her a sandwich too, big deal,” Landon mutters.

Lizzie raises a sharp finger and looks smug. “Ah, but you didn’t! See, my boy, you’ve got no game. Now imagine how much cooler your image would be if you were seen with resident popular girl,” she gestures to herself. “Your reputation would shoot up the ranks.”

“There are ranks?”

“Duh,” Lizzie says like it’s the most obvious thing. “And you, being a phoenix without actually possessing any unique phoenix qualities other than resurrecting – ”

“That’s not unique enough?”

“—looking like a pale artichoke in gym class doesn’t help, either. I am your salvation!” Lizzie finishes, hands on her hips and jaw raised like she’s standing centre-stage at their annual talent competition.

Landon narrows his eyes. “You think people will like me more if it looks like I’m dating you?”

“Now we’re getting somewhere. Move a little.” She takes a seat next to him gracefully, tucking her skirt under her thighs. “Listen. I need my mom to stop breathing down my neck. She’s been looking at me like she wants to give me the birds and the bees talk, with visual aid, flash cards and mini-theatre and I’d rather not go through that again. Once was more than enough. Pretty sure Dad wants her to exact power over my social life, since he doesn’t really have any say in that, and I’m looking at two semesters of constant surveillance. Or a twelve-step programme. And Professor M isn’t helping either—”

Landon shuts his book. “How does Professor M know about your love life?”

“Everyone knows about my love life, Landon. I’m interesting.” She rests an unwilling hand on his shoulder with a grimace. “And soon you will be too.”

“Because I’ll be dating you.”

“Fake dating,” Lizzie corrects primly.

“And you think Hope will like me, even though I’ll be unavailable?”

“There’s something to be said about wanting the unattainable, Landon. And trust me, you will be unattainable once you’re standing by my side.”

“Yeah, because everyone will think I’m nuts.”

“I resent that. Say yes.”

“Lizzie, I—” a panicked, helpless sort of look crosses Landon’s face. “This is really dishonest; I don’t think we should be…”

“Let me do the thinking for both of us, alright Little Bird?” Lizzie snips. “Getting back in my parents’ good books, the teachers off my backs for any sort of inevitable breakdown, and you… get to be Professor M’s potential son-in-law one day.”

“This is extremely coercive, you know,” Landon points out, but the protest is feeble at best. “And making me really uncomfortable. Nobody will buy it.”

“We’ll just have to put on a really good show,” she swears. “Say yes.”

 —

 Two things happen the next two days:

Landon attempts to say hi to Hope, who looks right through him to greet MG a good morning.

During lunch break, by some kind of miracle, he joins Hope and Lizzie for lunch just in time to hear Hope say, “You were right about the bio homework, by the way. Your ideas aren’t that bad, Saltzman.”

Lizzie cocks an eyebrow at Landon. “Welcome, Kirby.”

“Oh, hey Landon,” Hope greets warmly.

Landon takes all of thirty seconds to make up his mind.

Lizzie’s phone vibrates in her bag. When she checks it, it’s from Landon.

Just one word.

Yes.

 —

 Every Friday evening, the rag tag group of upper-secondary students meet for some dumb study group Emma had made them all participate in, in an effort to like, ‘bond’ as ‘one’ ‘community’ or something.

It’s astonishing that all of them consistently make it every single week, but no one will admit it’s because they appreciate each other’s company. They’d chalked it up to Stockholm Syndrome.

Rafael comes when he feels like it, but he’s usually stuck in detention helping Dorian jar newton eyes or something, but even he tries to be on his best behaviour so he doesn’t miss much of these.

It’s during one of these study groups that MG, having been not-so-discreetly been spying on Lizzie and Landon whilst they all parroted off chemical equations to each other, demands: “Why are you touching him?”

He’s probably been watching them really closely since the Bomb had Dropped.

Lizzie makes sure to have Josie walk into them in the courtyard one day with her hand placed very carefully on Landon’s thigh, and shocks her twin so much she goes running through the hallways until she bumps into Penelope, and blurts out the scene she just witnessed, swearing her to secrecy.

Penelope, of course, tells everyone else.

Lizzie pretends to fidget with the hem of her shirt. “Excuse you?”

MG narrows his eyes. “You just… keep putting your hand on Landon’s arm. Willingly. Why.”

“Haven’t you heard?” Penelope smirks, whilst Josie turns red and avoids Lizzie’s glare, “they’re the Salvatore School’s It Couple right now.”

“Fake news,” Jed coughs into his notes, and Kaleb guffaws.

Hope doesn’t do anything but watch the entire exchange with curious eyes.

“Look, Penelope, you don’t have to believe it,” Landon begins, but he’s making mopey eyes at Hope, so Lizzie decides to cut in.

“As devastated as I am to admit it, Frodo’s been growing on me,” Lizzie sighs, the vision of a woman distraught. “Who knew I was into nerd porn?”

MG’s ears might as well be whistling, and Jed’s cough sounds like a choke now.

“Girl, say what,” Kaleb says in one disbelieving breath. “Tell me you’re not serious. You okay? Been getting enough sleep? Is this a breakdown thing, ‘cause Emma said we have to like, show solidarity and help you visualise your inner child and shit—”

Lizzie smarts at that, just a little. Her lips part to shoot some of her automatic sass bullets, but surprisingly nothings comes out. Landon secretly puts his hand on her knee in a secret show of solidarity.

“Kaleb,” Josie says sharply. “People can change.”

Lizzie eyes Landon curiously. He shoots her a small smile, which she looks away from.

“Exactly,” Penelope nods, but she’s smirking in a way that says she doesn’t buy a single thing, and is enjoying every second of watching Landon squirm under everyone’s scrutiny. “Who’d you lose the bet to, Lizzie?”

Lizzie, despite herself, starts to feel annoyed. “I’ll have you know, Penelope, Landon isn’t the short end of an already short bunch of sticks—”

Landon tries to figure out the compliment there.

“Then – then prove it!” MG blurts out. “Kiss. If you’re really a couple, then – Kiss!”

That stops Lizzie short. “Milton. Ew.”

“Really gross, MG.” Hope shoots him a look of distaste.

“Voyeur much?” Penelope smirks.

“Nah, I’m with MG,” defends Kaleb. “This is really entertaining and all, but it’s kinda starting to weird me out. Suck his face. No way you’d do that willingly.”

“You’re all wrong,” Lizzie tells them politely. Or as politely as she can. Things are a-movin’ and she’s excited; she can already feel her legs tingling when she accidentally siphons some of Landon’s magic from his hand on her knee under the table. She swallows down the smugness in her voice, because this is exactly where she’d hoped the day would go. She turns to Landon, and wills him not to look so pale.

“Pucker up, ‘90s,” she coos.

Keeping her face as forced-smiley as possible she leans forward and gives Landon a peck on his lips. A small little one. A peck really, bird to bird.

Landon, to her discreet pleasure, kisses her back.

When they part their chaste, publicly-acceptable form of display, everyone is looking at them, shell-shocked.

Penelope steals Jed’s can of Coke just so she could do a spit-take.

 —

 “That plan worked out awesome. Score one to Saltzman,” Lizzie sighs victoriously as she plops down onto her bed. “Now on to Phase 2.”

“I really don’t want to know what Phase 2 is,” Landon mumbles. He’s got his arm slung over his eyes as he slumps three inches down into Lizzie’s plushy pink armchair.

“Phase 2 is Mom walking into us. She’s about to start baking downstairs. I know. It’s Tuesday. Ready?”

Slowly, Landon removes his arms. He stares at her. For like, a really long time. “What do you mean,” he widens his eyes, “by walking into us.”

Lizzie smiles deviously. Without warning, she lets out a very soft moan.

“Lizzie,” Landon hisses harshly.

“Yes, exactly, keep doing that,” Lizzie responds in a breathless voice, whilst she grins manically at him and flaps her hands, motioning for him to go louder.

“Lizzie,” Landon groans now, completely exasperated. “It’s barely been two days, I really doubt we’ll be having sex right now—”

“Yeah, keep talking dirty to me!” Lizzie all but bellows and jumps up on the bed, the mattress squeaking. She glares at Landon, who sighs, and very reluctantly joins her.

They jump up and down, and every so often Lizzie punches Landon in the arm so he lets out a believable grunt.

The mattress springs keep squeaking. Lizzie keeps up her panting.

After four more minutes of that, Landon’s a little out of breath, puts some spring in his jump, and lands in a pile of Lizzie’s haphazard pillows.

“Give it up, Lizzie,” he says, resuming his previous moping position of arm-over-eyes. “I think I pulled a muscle.”

“Sexy,” Lizzie says the way one might say ‘rancid foot’, but drops down next to him anyway. She stares at the ceiling, and they let out a long sigh.

After about another four minutes of moping, Lizzie turns to her side and swats Landon’s arm off his face. “Enough! Tomorrow night is another day.”

“That doesn’t even make sense,” he points out, before propping himself up on one elbow to face her. “About that kiss just now—”

“They totally bought it,” Lizzie can’t resist interrupting.

“You sure you okay with this?” he mumbles in that Landon way of his. He studies her face. She notes the dark circles framing his obsidian-blues.

“Getting cold feet already, Kirby?”

“No, it’s just that—”

Her door swings open. “Elizabeth, do you remember where your mum put the…”

Lizzie and Landon whip around to see a very livid Professor M, staring at them, at the space between them, at the sweat beading on Landon’s forehead, at Lizzie’s once-sleek French braid that has now shaken loose, at the two of them again, at the space between them, and once more at Landon.

“Professor Mika-Mikaels—” Landon squawks, turning white as a sheet.

The growl that emanates from Professor M seems to make the room tremble, and Landon all but stutters to a stop. Lizzie, however, is coming up sunflowers. She practically bounces to her knees and throws her hands up, eyes crinkling warmly, exclaiming, “What did you need of me, my beloved stepfather!”

“Well, darling, I was looking for your mother’s ridiculously expensive sea salt but now I’m looking for something else entirely,” he grits out through clenched teeth, despite being slightly mollified by Lizzie’s welcome.

“And that is?” Lizzie all but croons, making a very conscious move towards Landon. “We’re kind of in the middle of studying right now.”

“Banishing objects, hm? Your books are missing.”

“Invisique,” Lizzie sings in reply. Landon just wants her to shut the fuck up, right now.

Landon’s head disappears, which is a good thing, because he looks like he’s holding in from puking his guts out, the way Klaus observes him like he’s a piece of meat.

“You’re the phoenix, yes?”

“Yes,” Landon says squeamishly.

“Alright,” Professor M seems to deliberate, before flashing over to Landon, grabbing him and throwing him out the room and right down the stairs.

“Niklaus Mikaelson!” comes her mom’s furious bellow.

“For FUCK’S SAKE, KLAUS!” She hears Dad yell. “WE JUST TALKED ABOUT THIS.”

Screams erupt, there’s a clattering of feet, and Lizzie falls out of bed in a perfect traumatised swoon, back of her hand rested delicately on her forehead. “Stepfather! Can we not with the dramatics!”

“We’re going to have a talk about this later,” he warns with a finger wagging her way, his undisguised rage making his accent thicker.

“I’ll miss you when you’re suspended again,” Lizzie pouts.

He groans, already hearing Mom’s boots stomping up the stairs. “As shall I, my sweet.”

 —

 At least Landon’s gotten used to resurrecting. Cause of death: the ire of Professor Klaus Mikaelson.

Lizzie’s waiting for him with a warm blanket when he starts to stir, her head facing the sky like she’s enjoying the sunset. Blinking groggily, he turns onto his stomach and rubs the back of his neck. He feels the weather-worn wood of the docks pressing into his face and he groans. That’s going to leave a mark.

“Welcome back,” Lizzie quips.

“Just because I can’t die doesn’t mean I wouldn’t appreciate some sympathy, Lizzie,” Landon mutters, throwing her a murderous look. “So what’s your damage.”

“Let’s see,” Lizzie says as she drapes the blanket over Landon’s crumpled heap of a body, face and all. “Two weeks of grounding. Mom suggested making it three weeks, but Dad intervened and said he’d rather us be on library duty instead for the rest of this semester.”

“Us?”

“Professor M also suggested throwing you out the window and have me try to levitate you before you hit the ground—”

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

“—but Mom was all Oh, maybe that’s a little too harsh,” Lizzie continues thoughtfully.

“A little?” Landon squeaks underneath the blue and white embroidered quilt. “Literally dying wasn’t enough?”

“But on the plus side, they were yelling so hard the entire school now knows we were caught post-doing the dirty.” Lizzie shoots him a grin. “On to Phase 3!”

“No!” Landon yells and clambers to his feet. “Lizzie, so far all your plans have kind of sucked for me, you know? How the hell is Hope supposed to like me now that she thinks I’ve slept with you!”

“Easy, lover boy,” Lizzie says, frowning. “This is the 21st century, she’s not a prude.”

“You don’t — you don’t know her like I do,” Landon says, burying his face in his hands and turning towards the water. “She’s not like y…”

He whirls around, hands already halfway lifting up like a gesture of apology but Lizzie’s already standing up, facing him squarely. Her eyes are narrowed as she takes him in coolly. “Not like?”

“Nevermind,” Landon says quickly. “Let’s grab some dinner, I’m starv—”

“Finish your fucking sentence, Frodo,” Lizzie says in a voice that is low and dangerous. Is it weird that he’s seeing some Klaus in the shadows of her face right now?

“Lizzie… let’s drop it.”

“No. Let’s hear you say it. Not like what? You were saying she’s not like me,” she hisses. Her fists are bunched into tight fists and he’s so glad she doesn’t have anything to syphon right now. He really hasn’t tried dying twice in the span of 12 hours.

“Look, I’m sorr—”

“Invisique,” she whispers.

“Lizzie!”

He hears the wooden boards squeak as she runs away, and when her feet hit grass there’s no telling where she might be.

“Fuck you, Landon!” he yells and heaves a rock into the water with a loud splash.

 —

tbc