#I’m totally sorry for putting you through it with steve 🥲

[nburkhardt]

“I’m sorry, but I don’t like you like that”

He doesn’t know what hurts more, this or the memories of ‘our love is bullshit, you’re bullshit’ in his ears as he ignores the burn of his eyes. Ignores the stares and the silence.

He faintly wonders if maybe this is a curse, if he’s destined to be alone and that everyone he’ll ever love just can’t love him back.

Maybe it really is him?

Before anything else is said, he leaves. He doesn’t hear the shouts, doesn’t hear the apologies or the waits. Can’t handle being there anymore.

His eyes are burning, his heart is gone and he’s done.

Hawkins is a curse, all it holds for him is hurt and pain. He needs to leave, needs to be away. Wants to leave, wants to be away.

He feels the hand of someone on his arm and he doesn’t remember stopping, blinks hard to see past the tears. It takes only a few minutes to find Robin standing there, also with tears in her eyes. Her mouth is moving but his ears aren’t working, still buzzing with “I don’t like you like that” and a faint “you’re bullshit” ringing along side it.

Shaking his head, shutting his eyes tight. He leans his head against her shoulder and shakes, cries and feels her pull him close. Holds him tight and he curls his arms around her, trying to stop the tears and sobs.

“Oh, Stevie, I’m so fucking sorry. I’m here, I know it hurts.”

He clutches her tight and he sobs. This isn’t how this was supposed to go. He could’ve sworn- he really thought- really thought this was it. This was it, he thought he had a chance. Really.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

“It’ll be okay, I swear. You’ll find someone, someone who loves you just as much as you love them. And I love you so much, Stevie. You are everything to me and you deserve it”

He shakes his head, it’s not true. He did find someone and they tore his heart out and called it bullshit and stomped all over it. He found another and they picked his broken heart up and decided to toy with it before ripping it to shreds with a simple “I don’t like you like that” and it’s so, it’s so juvenile.

“Yeah, yeah it is. And you know what? Fuck him, fuck him and everything about it. You can do so much better, I swear. Okay? Do you hear me, Steve? Do you?”

That’s when it slams into him, he was speaking out loud in between sobs and Robin was speaking to him. He nods and thinks hard at what she said, “I can’t Robs, I can’t do this anymore” he whispers and maybe even whimpers a bit, “I- It hurts so fucking much, I can’t be here anymore”

She pulls away and cups his face, his vision is still blurry but he can see that her face is red with tears too, “then we leave, we’ll leave. Okay? We can go anywhere. We can- we can just say fuck Hawkins and find something new- something bright and colorful. Find somewhere, where you can shine”

He can’t help but choke on a laugh and a sob, tries to shake his head. Stopped only because Robin holds him still, “We- I can’t do that to you-“

“You aren’t, Steve. I’m doing this for you.” She smiles and pulls his head closer to place a kiss to his forehead, “All this town has given you is pain and heartbreak, I’m calling it. We’re leaving”

“Isn’t that just- just running away?”

She shakes her head and pulls him close into a hug, “Even if it is, you deserve to run. We’ll pack up all of our things, either say goodbye or don’t, but we’re leaving. I can’t stand around and watch you break again. I can’t let you stick around longing and hoping that maybe fucking Eddie Munson decides to change his mind. I will not let him break you again”

There’s nothing he can say to that, he just hides his face in her shoulder. Holding onto her to keep himself from falling even more apart, listening to her hum and sway him to help him calm down. To stop from breaking even further, she whispers and promises him that she’s here. She’s not going anywhere.

And he believes her. She is his soulmate but he’s still hurting. He doesn’t know when it will stop, if they leave tomorrow it’ll still be broken. He’ll still faintly hear the “I don’t like you like that” mixed in with “you’re bullshit” in the back of his head. Doesn’t know if when he’ll not hear those phrases, doesn’t know if he’ll ever get their faces out of his head when they said it out either.

It hurts and his heart is in shreds. Being held together by his soulmate and maybe with her it’ll be protected.

~~~~

I’m sorry 🥲

[forever-rogue]

heyyy beeee🥰

I saw requests are opened and I come here bearing flowers and an idea. Here are the flowers: 🌷🌸🌹🌼💐🌻

And the idea: I just thought it would be funny and adorable for Steve “my favourite Star Wars movie is the one with the teddy bears” Harrington to have a Star Wars loving gf that would roll her eyes fondly and kiss his cheek whenever he got something wrong. He would be so cute trying to be involved bc his girl likes that stuff you know and she’d melt cause he’s trying for her even if it’s not something she expected him to do 🥲💖🩷

AN | But this is my dream (it’s me, I’m Star Wars girlfriend) and it’s so soft. Enjoy🥺

Warnings | Language

Pairing | Steve x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.2k

Masterlist | Steve, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Steve's eyes were glued to your figure as soon as he spotted you. It was a boring afternoon shift alone at Family Video, and he'd been absentmindedly flipping through a magazine. As soon as he heard the doors open, he perked up at the idea of some human interaction.

He hadn't expected to be blown away by having the prettiest girl he'd ever seen walk in. His brain turned to scrambled eggs immediately and all he managed to do was close the magazine as you disappeared into the aisles. You hadn't even noticed him; not on purpose, you were just on a mission. 

Tossing the magazine to the side, he slipped out from behind the counter and started walking in your direction. He cleared his throat, touched up his hair and prepared himself for what he hoped would be an actual interaction.

"Hello there," he turned into the aisle you were in, causing you to look up in surprise. The moment he got a closer look at your face, he suddenly forgot what he was going to say. Your eyes flicked to his name tag and you relaxed when you realized he was an employee and not some random man.

"Hi," and oh. Steve already loved the sound of your voice and the small smile you offered in response. 

"Help need…do you?" He managed to blurt out as you giggled softly. His neck and cheeks pinked once he realized what he'd say. He was already smacking himself internally, "sorry - do you need any help finding anything?"

"Yeah, actually," you put back the movie in your hand and turned your full attention to him, "I'm looking for - and don't laugh - the Star Wars movies. Do you have them here?"

"Why would I laugh?" Steve asked, shaking his head as he motioned for you to follow, "but you're in luck, they were just returned."

"It's just kind of a nerdy thing," you shrugged sheepishly, chewing on the inside of your cheek, "a lot of people think it's really lame."

"It's definitely not lame," Steve was pretty sure that you could read him the dictionary and it would be anything but boring, "its pretty cool. Especially if you're into it."

You felt your entire face flush as you peeked at him. Was he flirting with you? He was flirting with you. You waved your hand around before taking the vhs cassettes that he held out to you, "are you into Star Wars too?"

"Me? O-oh yeah," he wasn't outwardly lying but he was definitely fibbing. He'd seen the movies, watched them at a movie night with Eddie and Robin, but honestly, he'd slept through a good amount of them, "totally."

"Cool," you bit your lip in a way Steve was sure would kill him slowly, "which one is your favorite?"

"The one with the…little bears?" And then you laughed, loud and bold, as he smiled sheepishly.

"Ewoks," you sweetly corrected him, "so Return of the Jedi."

"Yup…"

"You haven't seen Star Wars, have you?" You were definitely enjoying this, especially the way the pretty boy was squirming under your gaze.

"I have!" He countered, "I…might have slept through most of it but I've seen the movies!"

"Well," you rocked back and forth on your heels, "you should give them another watch if you're ever up for it. They can be pretty funny."

"If you say they are, they must be good," the two of you walked back to the counter where he began to check you out - in more ways than one. But he was still trying to keep it respectful, "do you have an account or do you need to create one?"

"I actually just moved to town a few weeks ago," you swallowed the lump in your throat and caught his pretty honey brown eyes, "so I'll need to make one."

"Alright," this was good, he decided. You had no preconceived notions of him from the sound of it, "can I just get your name and number?"

"Are you asking for the account or yourself?" Something was causing you to feel bold. Judging from the expression on his face you'd read the signs right.

"What if I said both?" He teased right back, finding it easy to slip back into flirting with you.

"I'd say yes," you grinned at him, "and that I'm free on Friday night after five."

"It's a date," he said, nervous for your response. But oh, he was already so invested in you and wanted to know everything and anything about you.

"It's a date."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

And one date turned into two and then three, and then countless others. Almost a year later and you were thoroughly and deep in love with your boyfriend, Steve Harrington.

He was so different from you, but the two of you meshed so well. Plus, unlike anyone you'd ever dated before, Steve tried and he cared. And he showed that he did. He tried to understand your interests and loves and you did the same to him.

Plus, it was really cute when he tried to understand all of your Star Wars and other nerdy interests. But it was the sheer love and enthusiasm that he did it with that made you love him all that much more. And - if you really wanted a deep conversation about such things - you had his (and now your) friends Eddie and Dustin.

Steve was over at your apartment for the night, and you'd gone to make some popcorn for the movie the two of you had agreed on for the evening. When you walked back into the room, you found him studying your bookshelves curiously.

"Anything interesting?" You asked as he started slightly with a pink flush welling up in his cheeks. You set the bowl down on your desk and walked over to him, standing behind and wrapping your arms around his waist. You felt him relax into your touch as he put a hand on top of yours, and you pressed a row of kisses to his shoulder.

"Everything about you is interesting," he stated sincerely as you snorted in amusement. He took your hand and gently turned around so he was facing. He was pretty, so pretty that it still managed to take your breath away at times. Those honey brown eyes, soft smile, and the freckles you loved kissing one by one. 

"Stevie," you chided him softly although there was no malice behind your words. He exhaled softly before pressing his lips to your forehead. You sighed contentedly, "I love you."

"I love you," he nudged his nose against yours before inching you closer to the bookshelf. He pointed to a few books that had caught his eye as you just smiled at him, "but these seem very interesting. Not as interesting as you, of course."

"You're so sweet," you carded a hand through his hair, "you're more than welcome to borrow them at any time. What's mine is yours, honey boy."

"I don't know," he said quietly, "don't know if I'm quite smart enough for all of that."

"You are," you insisted softly, "you are so much smarter than you give yourself credit for! Even if you don't believe you are right, believe me. I would never lie to you."

Steve practically melted under your praise, even though to you it was just the truth. You knew the Steve of now, the kind hearted and golden man you'd fallen in love with. 

"Thank you," he whispered as you pulled him into a hug, lightly swaying your bodies back and forth. You let go of him before pulling a few books off the shelf, ones you were sure he would enjoy.

"Try these," you really were the brightest spot in his life. A ray of sunshine on even his darkest and cloudiest days, "and let me know what you think."

"I will," he promised, "hey, I have an idea-"

"Uh oh," you teased, a bemused lilt to your voice, "that's even a good sign."

"Hey!" But the two of you were giggling at each other, "I was going to suggest watching Star Wars. Figured I could give it another shot."

"Really?!" Your eyes lit up like Christmas lights as you tried to contain your excitement. You'd never pushed him to watch them again so the fact that he was offering made your heart happy. He nodded eagerly and you pressed a kiss to his cheek, "you're the best! I hope you'll like them this time around! But if you get bored or whatever, just let me know."

"I will," he tugged you towards the bed. In his your absence, he'd already missed the vhs tapes out of the cabinet. He'd bought them for you a few months after you'd started dating so you didn't have to keep borrowing them from Family Video. He was so thoughtful, "but I have a feeling I'll like them this time around. I've got the best company."

"I'll try to shut up," you held up your fingers in a scout salute, "but I cannot promise to avoid all commentary."

"I would expect nothing else," he turned on the television and put in the first tape as you made yourself comfortable in the bed, "what's your favorite character again? Booba or something?"

"Boba Fett!" You were laughing as Steve shrugged and grabbed the remote to join you, "he's the best and one day, people will realize that and see how underrated he is!"

"I'm sure they will," he set the bowl of popcorn between the two of you as he pressed play, "now sit back and enjoy, angel."

"I will," you snuggled up to him, "because I'm watching my favorite movies with my favorite person!"

And yeah. Steve loved the sound of that. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Steve had an idea. An idea that involved your birthday, a lot of planning and assistance from his friends, and you. Or in other words - Steve planned a Star Wars themed surprise birthday party for you. He hoped you’d like it and wouldn’t find it too much or over the top. He got the sense that you didn’t place too much stock into your birthday considering you hadn’t even mentioned. He found out accidentally when you’d asked me to grab your ID for you. You’d insisted that he didn’t need to do anything special, but that wasn’t going to stop him. 

Steve had picked you up after work and took you to his and Robin’s apartment, under the guise of having a quiet night in. He’d already sent you flowers at work and gotten you a card and a cute little cupcake, which was more than enough for you. You just needed him and nothing less.

You were trailed behind Steve as he unlocked the door, talking about something random. You’d noticed he was a little jumpy today, but you weren’t going to question it. 

“Come on,” he motioned for you to step inside; the apartment was dark so you figured Robin wasn’t home. You went to flick on the light and were instantly met with a chorus of surprise!

Your friends jumped out of their hiding places, as you took a moment to calm your racing heart. You looked around at everything, and found yourself almost tearing up; the whole apartment was decorated and there was food, a cake, and a small pile of presents. 

“You guys,” you quickly wiped away the tears as you looked at all of them, “what’s all this for?”

“Your birthday,” Steve stood behind you and pressed a kiss to the crown of your head. He paused for a moment before whispering softly, “I hope this is okay. But I wanted to do something special for you.”

“This is…wonderful,” you turned around, “thank you, Steve. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” he gently nudged you towards everyone, “happy birthday, angel.”

“Thank you all much,” you grinned at your friends, “I’m so happy to see you all!”

Eddie threw on some music and it was only then that you noticed that everything was Star Wars themed. Everyone was having a good time eating, drinking, and hanging out. It made your heart so happy.

The best of all was the little stuffed ewok that was sitting next to the cake. You walked over it and lightly picked it up, holding it to your chest; you knew exactly who it was from. You turned around and from across the room Steve caught your eye. His smile lit up his entire face as you held up the little ewok. He excused himself from his conversation and came over to you, “do you like it?”

“I love him,” you grinned, “I love this little bear from that one Star Wars movie. And I love you even more.”

“I love you,” he peppered your face in kisses, “happy birthday, angel.”

And it was the happiest of birthdays. The first of many.

[dimplesandfierceeyes]

AO3 Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @incandescentflower! Sorry it's taken an actual age for me to get round to it!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I somehow have 47...

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

556,173 words... a totally normal amount

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Bad Buddy, mostly . I wrote for a few others, almost a decade ago or longer, but Bad Buddy finally got me posting again! One day I might branch out... but we'll see haha!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Fine Line Between Hormones and Home 

A Soft Boy in Soft Sweaters

All that Gleams is Not Gold, but Some that Gleams Is

music is not in the notes, but in the silence between them 

you can't lose a game you don't want to win

Actually, a couple of those are pretty surprising! 😂

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I always try to, though sometimes it might take me many months. I love to let people know that I appreciate the time they take in replying to my fics.

Fanfiction writing can be a pretty lonely endeavour. You're writing sommething that you hope is going to resonate with the fandom but until you put it out there, you can't know! So when I get comments, I want to respond in kind. For me, it helps with the feeling of a fandom community.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Priestly Duties - a Stucky fic where pre-serum Steve is a Catholic priest who gives into his desires for Bucky, but only once.

I didn't start it expecting it to turn out so angsty but the character kind of took it out of my hands!

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Pretty much all of the others? I'm actually a big happy endings girlie. If I had to pick one though, I'd probably pick Aroma-nce So Sweet because the boys have no family feud to contend with.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not often, but sadly, hate abounds despite out attempts to push it out of fandom spaces

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

Do you want to know a secret? When I first started out in the Bad Buddy fandom, I had no plans on writing any smut for PatPran.

Then, less than three months after posting my first fic, I stumbled across a tumblr prompt and after that, the floodgates well and truly opened.

In terms of a 'kind', I'd say it tends to be on the explicit but wholesome side

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

I don't write crossovers exactly but I do steal concepts and scenarios from other shows to put my characters in haha.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! It was very flattering to be asked 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, though not a published one

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Whatever I'm obsessed with in the moment, which is currently, of course, PatPran

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My Bad Buddy Regency AU 🥲🥲 I just can't get it to come together…

16. What are your writing strengths?

I focus quite heavily on characterisation in my fics, I like to make them feel authentic to the original versions of themselves, even in an AU. I get quite a few compliments on it so I like to think I do pretty well haha

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing too much 😂😂 I can be a little unnecessarily verbose. I'd like to work on cutting it down a bit

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done it once or twice but I’m not very confident in it so I avoid it honestly, except for the odd word

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ahhhh probably HP, a long, long time ago.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I just went through my fic list to see if one jumped out but all I found was that they all have a soft spot for me in different ways haha.

 I think in terms of how people reacted to them, The Fine Line and The Space Pirate and the Officer of the Law are the two that stand out. I had an amazing response from the fandom about those two so they're particularly special for me

---

Again, I'm not sure who's already done this so tagging a few people but sorry if this is one that you've already done!

@loooreleii @thebroccolination @toomoonfic @mendacity17 @Wolfsbane15 @itsmylifekay @geckoholic @paalove @nejineeee