#I’m tired and grumpy and mad at myself

[docbe]

Getting new doctors is always an adventure bc on the one hand, could mean finding something new, but on the other, you gotta wait so looooong….I have a new gp appointment coming up, and her profile online seemed v promising so I’m looking forward to it, but like. It feels like forever til then, and I’ll prob need new specialists around here too so that’s even longer

I’m hoping to maybe get some other opinions on autoimmune stuff tho bc like, health has been making No Sense but is p strongly in the “bad” category lately…thought it was just sinus issues but it’s branched out to muscle/joint/dysautonomia, presumably? I can’t get my shoulders to unknot and my heart rate keeps dipping and is also lower while I’m awake which makes no gd sense

I’ve had a list of shit I’ve wanted to get done and I haven’t been able to do ANY of it and I’m so frustrated about it >:( but, it’s just….waiting

[pedropascallme]

☆Kinktober 2024☆

Day 12: Mutual masturbation

Pairing: Damien Haas x f!Reader

Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI!!!!) mutual masturbation, mild dom/sub dynamics (softdom!Damien is BACK baby!!) dirty talk, little bit of cum play, if I missed anything please let me know!

AN: I actually wrote another mutual masturbation fic with Damien a few months ago, so if that's your thing, you can find it here :D

He wasn’t ignoring you—not purposefully.

Damien had tucked away in a corner of the house, glued to the screen of the desktop computer.

You approached quietly, watching the muscle in his wrist just barely flex when he clicked the mouse.

For as long as you’d been together—and prior to that, as long as you’d been friends—you knew Damien was the type to get hung up on small details. He’d focus until he was burnt out; he’d try to deal with everything in one go and become deeply frustrated when that backfired on him.

He was detail oriented, almost painstakingly so.

At least right now he was hyper-focused on something harmless, something that brought him real joy.

Still, it was going on midnight, and you wanted him in bed with you—for the more selfish purposes, yes, but also because he’d be mad at himself if he stayed up too late, which would morph into a deep-seated grumpiness that would, in turn, make him feel guilty.

“Do you plan on coming to bed on your own tonight?” You draped an arm loosely over his shoulder, leaning over him, “Or am I going to have to drag you there myself?”

Damien leaned his head back against you, eyes glued to the computer screen. It was Elder Scrolls, you knew that much, but which version, you couldn’t tell.

“I’m playing,” he was smiling, that toothy, lopsided grin that he wore, an expression of unbridled joy and genuine amusement.

Your favorite version of him.

“It’s late, Dames…” You bent down and pressed your face into his neck, brushing your lips to his skin.

He let out a contented sigh. “Late to you. To a vampire—very early.”

You removed yourself from his neck, taking the two steps forward that let you position yourself in front of him, leaning the back of your thighs on his desk.

“Game will still be there in the morning…” You reached out to brush your knuckles over his cheek.

He turned his head slightly, ghosting a kiss over your hand. “But I’m…I dunno…” He huffed, still smiling, but his brow creased slightly. “It’s been such a busy week and I want to unwind. And even though it’s late and I’m exhausted, I’m not…tired.” He explained, pulling your hand from his face and lacing his fingers with yours.

You lifted yourself onto the desk, careful not to push anything off the surface.

“Well…I can think of plenty of ways to tire you out…” You purred, and though you meant it as a tease, you were only half joking.

Damien leaned back against the chair he was in, letting your hand go in favor of reaching out to hold your leg.

“Go on.” He smirked, rolling his shoulders.

“I mean, I could—” You tried to rattle off a list of the first depraved things that came to mind, but he cut you off, squeezing your thigh.

“Don’t tell me,” his smirk contorting into a wolfish grin, “Show me.”

You bit lazily at your bottom lip.

“Right here?” There was a ghost of a smile on your face, the merriment you felt momentarily winning out over the lust that had begun to swell within you.

“It’s what you’re thinking about right now, isn’t it?” Damien removed his grip from your leg, bringing his hands behind his head. He spread his thighs and quirked a brow. “Go ahead, princess.”

You stared down at him from your perch on the desk, sucking the inside of your cheeks for a moment as you considered his challenge.

You gave in immediately.

“Fine,” You put your hands on your thighs, leaning forward for emphasis. “I will.”

Leisurely, your fingers danced under the hem of your sleep shirt, tugging at the fabric. You lifted it over your head slowly, revealing your bare chest to him, your nipples pebbling from exposure to the air of the room.

You tossed your shirt in Damien’s lap, and he grabbed it with both hands, white knuckling the fabric, his gaze piercing. He let out a sigh, a soft growl, urging you to continue.

You put your hands on your neck, trailing your palms down over the swell of your breasts and over your stomach, fingertips grazing the waistband of your shorts. You brought them back up to your chest, kneading the supple flesh, pinching your nipples. The feeling sent shivers down your spine, and you subconsciously arched into your own touch.

“I would’ve gotten you to make a lot more noise by now.” Damien’s voice was smug, but his jaw was tight.

Defying his words as best you could, you caught his eyes, letting out a breathy moan while you rolled your nipple between your thumb and forefinger.

Damien took a deep breath, as if to collect himself. His head tilted back slightly, but he found your gaze again and matched it.

“Feels better when I do it, doesn’t it?” He asked, and you squeaked.

“You said I should show you what I want,” you mumbled, dropping your head to watch your hands massage your breasts. “That’s what I’m doing, Damien.”

“And this is what you want, princess?” He smiled, “You want me to tire myself out by playing with your tits?” He let go of your shirt, tossing it to the floor, and shifting in his seat.

The way he said it, gravelly and pleased, made you swallow down a whimper.

But the way he’d moved the obstruction of your shirt from his lap and spread his legs wider to reveal the obvious tent in his sweatpants made your lips part to allow the sound out.

“I have other ideas, if this doesn’t do it for you…” You mewled, still palming your chest.

He didn’t grace you with a verbal response, offering a simple nod, darkened eyes goading you.

You let your hands fall down your body, shimmying out of your shorts and exposing yourself to him. You spread your legs, shifting your weight on the desk in a teasing display.

“Fuck,” Damien’s voice was strained; still domineering but having more trouble holding it together now. “Were you—were you this wet when you came in here, or is that just…?” He shifted his jaw, grinding his teeth and letting his sentence trail off.

You were spurred on by his lapse in dominance, enjoying the fact that you could get him so distracted and wound up by simply flashing your bare cunt to him.

You dragged your hand over your stomach, stopping when your fingers brushed over your clit. You let out a needy sound. Wound up so tightly after groping yourself and listening to him speak over your movements, you were convinced you could cum just like this.

Your fingers spread you apart, fully exposing your glistening hole, and Damien groaned as you circled yourself with your fingers.

“Come on,” his lips parted as he stared, the rise and fall of his chest becoming more pronounced. “Show me.”

Maintaining eye contact with him, you dipped an albeit shaky finger into your sex, down to the knuckle. Your breath caught in your throat, eyes closing briefly as you finally gave your body what it had been craving.

You rocked your hips, slowly thrusting the digit in and out of yourself.

“There you go…” Damien smiled up at you wickedly, “Look at you, princess, so self-sufficient. Is this you trying to tell me that you only want one of my fingers?”

You shook your head, moaning, and pushed another finger inside yourself.

With a groan, Damien gave in to his own urges completely, and you watched him hook a thumb under the waistband of his sweats, pulling them down enough to release his cock. It bounced against him, tip wet with precum, and you whimpered.

He licked his palm, bringing his hand down to smear the precum and his spit down his length and subconsciously matching the rhythm of your fingers as you pumped them in and out.

“This is what you were thinking about, isn’t it?” The question was entirely rhetorical—he knew what you were thinking, knew you were as desperate to get fucked as he was to fuck you.

You offered a weak nod, the pressure of your release building slowly but surely somewhere deep behind your stomach.

You brought one of your legs up, pressing your foot against the surface of the desk to switch the angle to one that would get you there faster.

Damien groaned, sliding his hand over his cock, using the image of you spread out and fucking yourself on his desk to chase his own release.

“Good, princess,” he spoke through clenched teeth, the muscle in his jaw twitching, “Say it. Say that you’re thinking about getting fucked.”

Your breath was stuttered, fingers curling into the tender spot inside you.

“I—yeah, I’m thinking about—about getting fucked…” You managed to squeak out, heavily lidded eyes tracking the movement of his hand over his cock.

“Yeah—yeah, by who?” He coaxed you, twisting his wrist. He watched you drip over your fingers, coating yourself in your own juices, and it was an exercise in self-control for him to not lean forward and press his face into your cunt; lap you up and lick you clean.

“You, Damien,” your eyes closed, your jaw dropped, and you felt the familiar buzz take over your body. “You.”

“Fuck, that’s right,” he keened at your words, brow furrowed as he watched you near your high. “You can do it, baby, you’re so close—fuck your hand, let me see you make yourself cum.”

You were in exactly the right spot, and upon hearing his words, you felt a swell of pleasure; something pushing down on your body in all the right ways, contorting you and satisfying you as your walls clenched and your back arched.

You moaned, letting out unsteady breaths to match your trembling thighs. You continued to press your fingers into yourself, mimicking as best you could the way he always prolonged your pleasure until it became overwhelming, brushing your delicate spots and making you cry out.

“Oh, fuck—” Damien moaned at the sight, the shiver that overtook your body and made you cry out for him. He fucked his fist faster at the thought of how you’d look beneath him, crying that way and begging for more of him. “You’re so fucking pretty, baby, you’re so—you’re so perfect. Fuck, I’m gonna cum…” He jerked himself quickly, spilling over his hand with a low moan.

He panted, all but going limp in his seat as his head fell back, a parallel to the way you had slumped against the wall behind you, taking heaving breaths after you’d finally removed your fingers from your cunt.

He picked his head up, admiring you with a soft smile.

“What?” You scoffed, smiling back at him.

“I’m still not tired.” He smirked at you.

Moving off the desk in a manner most ungraceful, you took his playfulness as permission to drape yourself over his lap, sagging against him and grabbing his wrist.

“That’s a shame…” You brought his hand to your mouth, sucking on his fingers and savoring the bitter spend that had dripped over him. “Gonna just sit here and play games you’ve already played all night?” You quirked a brow, swirling your tongue over his middle finger before dropping his hand.

“Oh,” he smiled, wrapping his arms around you, “I’m gonna play, just…probably not out here and definitely not on this computer.”

He stood, lifting you, and you laughed.

“Monitor is still on.” You nuzzled against him, and he tilted his face down at you.

“Baby, I love your mindfulness, but I could not care less about what’s happening on that screen right now.”

[whoisneo404]

Can I get a fic where male reader has had an attitude all day and Nick decided to fuck it out of him and overstimulate him. (So there is like a lot of teasing and maybe he gets like tied to the bed?)

All I Need.

Summary: after telling you all day to behave, Nick grows tired of you attitude and decides to fuck it out of you.

Tw: NSFW, cursing, a few spanks, Nick calls reader slut a few times.

Note: I tried to keep the readers body as vague as possible so everyone can enjoy this :3 also, i wrote this with that outfit on mind.

There was no reason for me to be grumpy, I just woke up this way, sadly for everyone else today was a busy day.

‘’What do you want to eat?’’ Nick looks down at his phone scrolling throw the ordering app.

‘’I don’t know, whatever.’’ He slightly raises his eyes to look at me, his brows a bit frowned.

‘’I’m asking you, what do you want to eat?’’ he asks again and I let out a huff.

‘’Whatever.’’ I roll my eyes at him and cross my arms.

‘’Don’t talk to me like that… I’ll order and if you don’t like I don’t wanna hear you whinnying about it, got it?’’ he looks back at his phone ordering our breakfast.

When the food arrived, I don’t want to eat it. I just stare at it while Nick eats from his sandwich.  

‘’Why won’t you eat?’’ he finally asks after a while, I just shrug my shoulders and he lets out a sigh.

‘’Don’t want to.’’

‘’You could have told me that.’’

‘’Whatever.’’

‘’Don’t whatever me. What happened today? Why are you so moody?’’ he’s frowning, the muscles of his face tensing and I don’t know why, but it makes me feel grumpier.

‘’I don’t know, leave me alone.’’

His jaw tenses and then he speaks softly. ‘’Okay.’’

---

It was a long day, photoshoot after breakfast, lunch with friends, afternoon meeting to discuss the next merch drop, and at night dinner with friends again. Normally this wouldn’t have bothered me, but today I just can’t seem to be able to take it.

‘’Boy, what’s wrong with you?’’ Tara who is sitting besides me asks.

‘’I don’t know. I woke up with the worst mood ever, I am so grumpy for no reason.’’ I grumble to her.

‘’I get it, it sometimes happens to me too. Wanna tell me about it?’’ I do, I talk to her about how I feel and I start to lighten up, feeling like the burden of the day is leaving my body. We start to laugh and joke about our grumpy moods. From time to time I feel Nicks intense stare from across the table, but I decide to brush it off.

‘’Give me a second, I’ll go to the bathroom.’’ I stand up and walk to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and move my hair a bit, I hear the door opening and I see Nicks reflection on the mirror.

‘’So, you are not grumpy anymore?’’ I look at him on the mirror, his arms are crossed over his chest and he looks mad.

‘’Maybe, I don’t know.’’

‘’Oh, I think you aren’t because you were laughing a lot with Tara out there.’’ I turn around and also cross my arms, my chin high and a grin on my face.

‘’Yeah, she’s really funny.’’

‘’Is that so?’’ he raises on eyebrow, slowly walking towards me. ‘’Does she make you laugh more than me?’’

‘’Not really, but she knows how to handle me when I’m grumpy.’’ Both of his hands are on my hips, his gaze piercing throw my soul.

‘’And I can’t? are you saying I can’t handle you?’’ Nicks voice is low, his grip on my hips tightening and I gulp nervously.

‘’Maybe if you feel that way it’s because it’s true…’’ I smile playfully and he growls.

‘’You were being a brat all day, you are so fucking spoiled you think you can get away with everything. Don’t make me get angrier because you won’t like how I am planning to make you behave.’’ My cheeks turn red, he knows just how to handle me, he knows exactly what to do and say to make me melt on his hands. But I want more, I want to see how far a can push.

‘’You hallow threats don’t scare me.’’ I walk away from his grip and to the bathroom door. ‘’Also, I think you look hot when you try to be dominant.’’ I wink at him and walk out of the bathroom; I hear a faint mumbling inside of it and I giggle as I make my way to the table.

---

‘’Want me to drop you off?’’ Matt talks softly to me when we everybody is standing outside the restaurant, saying goodbyes, seeing of they will go to their homes.

‘’I already ordered an uber for us.’’ Nick says standing besides me, his hand on my waist, pressing me against him.

‘’You staying the night there?’’ Matt asks again and Nick hums. ‘’Okay, see you then. Bye.’’ Then he walks besides Chris who was saying goodbye to everybody.

When the car arrives Nick and I sit in silent, both of his hands on his knees, he seems grumpy. I might have flirted a bit with Jake to see how he reacts, but I don’t think he is too mad… is he?

When we arrive at my apartment, I thank the driver and we walk in silence to my place. I feel his gaze on my back as I unlock the door slowly, regretting a bit my actions.

‘’I-… Nick.’’

‘’Shut up.’’ He pushes the door open and shoves me inside too. He closes the door behind him, takes of his jacket and hangs it on the coat hanger. ‘’Go to your room, take off your clothes, leave your boxers. I want you on your knees on the floor when I arrive. If you are not doing it, I swear…’’ he takes a deep breath, he is not looking at me, he is massaging his forehead with one hand, my legs shake as I nod even when he can’t see me. ‘’Go, 10, 9…’’ I sprint to my room, undoing my pants and taking of my shirt on the way there. I slam the door open and throw my shirt somewhere, quickly shoving my shoes out and then taking off my pants, I try to steady my breath as I kneel on the floor in front of my bed.

I hear the faint steps and counting getting louder and louder. ‘’1 and 0.’’ Nick enters the room, his tie undone and his shirt undone a few buttons. ‘’Oh, so you can be obedient.’’ He sits at the edge of the bed in front of me, my cheeks turn red and I nod slightly. ‘’You made me really mad today, being a brat all day, you think that I was going to let it slide?’’ I shake my head. ‘’And then it seems like nothing happened, like you weren’t a fucking whinny bitch all day, you go and laugh your ass off with Tara, and then you fucking flirt with Jake, in front of me.’’ I gulp and look down at his boots. ‘’Maybe I have been too nice with you lately and you have forgotten who you belong to.’’ I shake my head. ‘’Words, slut.’’ His hand grips my jaw, forcing my head up, meeting his eyes that seemed darker than usual.

‘’N-no. I’m yours.’’

‘’Well, you aren’t acting like it. I’ll have to fuck you into my good boy again, don’t I?’’ I nod the best I can with his iron grip on me. ‘’That’s it.’’ His hand leaves my jaw, it goes to his pants to undo them and lower them enough so he can take his dick out. ‘’Come closer, crawl.’’ He pats his thigh, and I crawl closer to him, his hand gripping the base of his cock, pumping it a few times. ‘’Go on, suck it.’’ His hand leaves his dick and makes its way to my head, grabbing me by the hair and pulling my face closer to him, I open my mouth and take him. I move my head up and down slowly, his hand is still on my hair, not pushing or pulling, not yet. ‘’Shit, that’s it. Faster.’’ I obey, moving my head faster and deeper. He lets out a growl, I look up at him, his head is throwed back and his eyes are closed. Then I feel it, his grip on my hair tightening, he starts pushing and pulling my head, using my mouth just for his pleasure, I feel the tip close to the back of my throat, my eyes are watery and I gag with every thrust. He looks down at me, biting on his lip. ‘’God, my slut taking that cock so well in his mouth. Fuck, you look so pretty with your mouth full.’’ He pulls my head backwards, with my tongue out and a few tears running down my eyes I pant, looking up at him with my teary eyes, I feel his precum on my cheek and nose, I can taste it on my tongue.

‘’Shit. So pretty when I use you, so fucking handsome. Is that all you needed to shut up? You needed my dick on your mouth to finally shut up. Tell me baby.’’ I close my mouth, licking my lips and nodding. ‘’That’s it, good slut.’’ I place my head on his thigh and he pats my head softly. After a few seconds my breath is steady again, he wipes the tears that fell down my face. ‘’On the bed, now.’’ I stand up, slowly laying down on the bed. My legs are clenched together trying to find a bit of friction. I see Nick taking his tie off. ‘’Arms up.’’ As soon as he says it my arms are above my head, my wrists together, and he softly but efficiently ties my hands together.

His hands roam my body, his teeth and lips leaving red marks all over my body. He doesn’t miss a single spot, my arms, my neck, chest, belly, thighs. My body squirms and shivers with his touch. Moans slipping from my mouth. ‘’Please, need you.’’

‘’But baby, don’t you remember? You were a fucking brat today; you don’t get to decide what you get… but maybe if you beg I’ll consider letting you cum.’’ He bites my thigh and slaps it.

‘’Please, I need you. Please, I’m sorry, won’t do it again, just please, want you so bad.’’ I feel him smiling against my skin. Nick bites the hem of my boxers and slides them down, my breath hitches at that sight.

‘’God, you are a mess. So, fucking needy.’’ he reaches out to my nightstand grabbing a bottle of lube that he left last time, he coats two of his fingers on it. ‘’Knees to your chest.’’ He demands, I pull up my legs the best I can without the help of my hands. ‘’Good job. Fuck, look at you, all wet and ready for me.’’ His fingers make their way to my entrance, slowly drawing lines and circles on in, making my legs tremble. Slowly he pushes the two fingers in, making my back arch a bit, my mouth opening and a soft moan escaping my mouth. His fingers start making scissor motions for a few seconds, then the introduces another finger, and this time he stars pumping the three of them at an ungodly pace. My back arching more, mouth and pleads leaving my mouth. ‘’Keep your legs up, come on.’’ His other hand on one of my knees, keeping it against my chest.

"Can’t. Fuck, I can’t. Please, please, can I cum?’’

‘’Go ahead baby.’’ a few quick pumps more and my legs were shaking, my head pressed against the mattress, but his hands didn’t stop, he started pumping faster, his fingers curling just the right way hitting all the right spots inside of me. ‘’Fuck, Nick. Please!’’ My eyes get watery, my hands gripping the sheets below it.

‘’I wanna hear you, don’t hold back. Make sure everyone hears how much of a slut you are for me, want everyone to know how good I make you feel.’’ My legs can’t stop shaking. I can’t control my moans. My thoughts are incoherent and my words too.

‘’Please! too much. So good.’’ I feel my stomach tightening again, and once again I let myself go on his hand. But this time he pulls his fingers out.

‘’Good fucking slut.’’ He kisses my cheek. ‘’My handsome pretty slut.’’ My chest goes up and down heavily. ‘’Can you keep going.’’ I nod. ‘’Words baby, need you to tell me what color.’’

‘’Yes, yes. Green.’’

‘’Good job.’’ He kisses my cheek again. ‘’On all fours.’’ He whispers against my hear. Letting go of my thighs he lets me roll around and I try to hold myself up the best I can with my shaky legs. I feel one slap on my ass and then the same hand gripping my hip. ‘’Say please, tell me you want me inside of you.’’

‘’Please, please. Want you, need you, need you inside. Please…’’ I move my hips backwards searching for his warmth and he slaps my ass again.

‘’So, fucking needy. Arch your back a bit more for me.’’ I do the best I can, my legs still a bit weak. ‘’So pretty…’’ I fill the tip entering my hole, I bit my lip, then he slams his hips hardly into me knocking all the hair out of my body. ‘’Go on, fuck yourself on my cock.’’

‘’Ah, fuck…’’ I moan against the pillow, rocking slamming my hips against his, going dumb on his dick. My movements are messy and my legs grow tired of moving. ‘’Can’t! please, fuck me. Please.’’

‘’God, you are so useless without me, aren’t you? Need me to fuck you, baby?’’ I moan loudly as a response. ‘’What a slut, my slut.’’ Another slap on my ass, his hands gripping my waist, pulling me in every time he thrust so I feel him deeper and rougher.

‘’Fuck. Nick!’’ my legs give up on me, I don’t fall because his strong hands are keeping me up.

‘’Didn’t give you permission.’’

‘’Sorry. Couldn’t wait, too good.’’ His trusts slow down and he starts to rub my back soflty.

‘’Wanna help me finish?’’

‘’Yes, please. wanna help you. Need to.’’ I feel a soft kiss on my shoulder and a small bite too. His hips start moving faster, it gets messy and rough again, the room filled with wet noises and moans from both of us.

‘’That’s it, so good for me. I just needed to fuck you properly for you to behave. My good boy, my good fucking slut.’’ His hands grip my waist tightly, my mind is dizzy and I can’t take it anymore, but it feels too good to stop. ‘’Shit baby, that’s it. Can I cum inside?’’

‘’Please, yes, need it inside. Please.’’ his trusts get messier, uneven and slower. His fingers digging into my flesh, probably leaving red marks I will see tomorrow.

‘’Fuck baby, cum with me. Do it. Fuck.’’ he gives two slow but deep trust and then pulls out, my legs are trembling, my breath is shaky. He helps me lay into my back and softly starts untying my hands. ‘’That’s it, good job baby. Good fucking job.’’ He kisses my cheek softly. ‘’Did so good, suck a good boy for me.’’ When my hands are free, they immediately wrap around his neck, nuzzling my face against it. ‘’I know baby, I know. I was a bit mean, but you know what bad boys get… now it’s time for me to take care of you, I’ll go get some water and something to clean us up.’’ I shake my head against his neck. ‘’Not yet? Okay, just a few seconds more, I have to get you some water baby.’’

His hands rubs my sides, his strong sent making me feel safe and warm. Nick knows exactly what to do to shut me up and make me his good boy again. He knows exactly what I need because he is all I need.

[waittheydontloveyou]

Woke up to a sea of black birds in my yard

Molly was like “Slayyy mama”. Like I did it😂🙈

I don’t do well with being that sick yall. Ugh

I have been so fucking grumpy. I don’t know if it’s being sick or my new med or my cycle or what but like…It’s bad. The things I’ve been thinking😖

Anyways

While I was sick I reached out to papi bc I literally have no one else. I didn’t eat for 3 days. Asked for soup and Gatorade.

Whatever I don’t know how to find friends that like actually care? I told two who I thought would be there for me and it was like…”good vibes, feel better soon”. I guess I’m a friend to many… but they’re not for me…I always would ask can I get you anything? Soup, meds, whatever. But lol. Maybe I’m being petty but that hurt pretty bad. One is mostly carless so ok. The other works often so maybe was too tired. But like damn. Damn. I prob won’t say anything. Bc what’s the point. You can’t make people care about you.

The old nurse friend guy asked if I needed anything and I thought he was just being nice bc he lives in Indiana mostly for travel nursing, then he got mad bc I tried to drive and almost passed out. Apparently he’s in town. I can’t just KNOW that sir. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I just assumed he meant DoorDash or something. Which I would’ve welcomed IF I LIVED WITHIN THEIR DRIVING RADIUS. *cries in rural*

My car is broken for real again…barely drive-able. I don’t understand how no mechanic is able to fucking fix the issue for real/figure out the issue?! Almost had a full blown meltdown driving kids home from school over it bc it wouldn’t go past 25mph, then not past 45mph. Which when you live on the side of a 60mhr rd…..is unsafe and scary af bc everyone’s honking and swerving around you. Sob. My anxiety.

Maybe I’ll go to school to become a mechanic. Bc Jesus Christ this is ridiculous. Also fuck nursing. Fuck everything. Plus I’d be cute in coveralls.

I put on the movie Elf

Gonna see if my car can make it to the post office bc then we will have hot chocolate. It’s like 4 back road miles away. So my slow driving won’t be a big issue.

Trying to motivate myself to clean and do laundry bc hot damn. I was soaked in sweat every other hour for 3 days. Ew. Like my pillow. I hope it survives the wash bc 🤮 if it doesn’t my life is basically over bc no other pillow compares.

[the-fiction-witch]

Sweetheart

Media The Queens Gambit

Character Benny Watts

Couple Benny X Reader

Rating Smut

Concept Pick up

Smut Nudity / swearing / bj / breast fondling/ in car smut 

I could barely control my giggles as I waved my girlfriend's goodbye outside the busy club. My drink was still in hand as I waited for the payphone to connect and begin to ring. I was huddled inside the little metal phone box trying to keep warm in my little dress until At Last the phone picked up. 

At first there was silence the fuzzy sound of the phone line all that came thought, until his voice spoke more gruff and strained then usual

"Hello?" He asks the sound of frustration in his voice and haziness it was obvious by his tone he had been woken by the ringing of his phone and had merely picked the phone up from beside his bed and brought it to his ear 

"Hi" I giggled

"Hi?" He asks clearly slowly waking up but only half listening

"So you know I love you benny" I giggled

He sighed "it's two in the goddamn morning?" 

"Pppppppplllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaasssssseeeeeee" I whined 

"Uhhhh fuck- Where are you?" He sighed 

"Uuuuuuuhhh…"

"Please tell me you know where you are?"

"There's a big… building"

"Goodnight y/n" he says before hanging up

"Hu! Benny!" I complained immediately putting more money in and called him back it rang for a good four or five rings before it answered

"Hello?"

"Rude!" I yelled 

"No. We're not doing this. I'm not doing this. It's two in the morning. I'm jetlagged as fuck I am not getting out of bed to come play your personal taxi service because you've been out all night drinking like a fish. Get a taxi. I'll see you tomorrow" 

"Benny!" I whined "please. Pretty pretty please with sugar and sprinkles on top" I pouted 

".... What is the name of the bar you're outside?"

"Uuuuuuuhhh…"

"Read this sign y/n"

"The studio?"

"Okay. Do not move. Do you hear me, you move from that phone box I will not pick you up. understand me?"

"I'll be good I promise"

"Alright, give me five minutes'' he sighed before hanging up I giggled happily sitting on the little seat watching the few cars go by on the little streets I waited for a while but got bored after finishing my drink so I snuck out all secret like to the little seven eleven and grabbed myself a slushie filling it to the top and scampering back outside in hope of returning to the phone box in time but I saw sat on the street waiting impatiently the little blue beetle and at its wheel a very tired and angry benny watts, he knew I had left. And I knew he was mad. 

I went over and smiled, giving him a little wave and sipping my slushie.

"Get in the fucking car." He demanded 

"Should i-"

"Now" 

I quickly opened the door and climbed in, shutting it quickly behind me, he immediately started off down the street. 

"Grumpy benny" I giggled as I glanced at him in the driver's seat in his jeans and a loose button down he clearly threw on from his bedroom floor no jacket or hat to be found, his hair a messy bed head, his rings and other jewelry only on because he never takes it off. His face stern where he was clearly Still very mad. 

"I have been driving around looking for you for half an hour"

"I was in seven eleven"

"I gathered that" he sighed "I told you to stay in the phone box"

"I was pechish" 

"And you weren't outside the studio. You where outside soundscape"

"Ohh. Sorry benny"

"It's fine" he sighed 

"I'm sorry" I cooed leaning over and giving him some kisses 

"Don't" he says pushing me away 

"Oh… Benny doesn't want my kisses?' I pouted slightly tearing up "no kisses" I cried

For a moment or two he didn't answer but he sighed moving his hand to stroke my thigh  

"Of course I want your kisses sweetheart" 

"Really?"

"Course I do" 

"Yay!"  I smiled giving him more and more kisses 

"You should really get taxis when you're this drunk."

"But people could take advantage of that. I could end up with no money in strange places with people I don't know. My benny keeps me safe" I Cooed hugging his arm 

"Alright. Just call me maybe before two am. Or give me correct information. Or stay put"

"I will"

"Sure you will. Your problem is y/n you have the attention span of a goldfish when your drunk"

"Bloop" I giggled 

"My point exactly" he sighed we drove slowly though the new york streets, the dark sky far from lighting even slight, not even stars or a moon in the sky, the only light the orange light of his radio’s tuner in the center console and the waves of yellow light from the street lamps above us.  

"How are you paying for this pick up anyway?" He asked after a while

"My wonderful presence?"

"Nice try, pay up."

"How much?"

"Well you got me out of bed when jet lagged. Made me get dressed.  Forced me into my car. Made me drive around looking for you for half an hour and drop you home." He explained "your usual with tip" 

"No"

"No?"

"No."

"Don't stiff your taxi sweetheart"

"I don't have any money"

"Don't you?"

"No. I spent it all"

"On?"

I simply sipped my slushie 

"You're unbelievable. Fine pay me back next time"

"Next time?" I giggled

"You know what I mean"

"I can pay"

"Yeah how?"

"Sipsip" I smiled offering my slushie

"No thanks. Last thing I need right now is an ungodly amount of sugar" 

"What about?" I cooed sitting my slushie in the cupholder and moving to cuddle his arm, he glanced down at me a moment before he chuckled

"Not in the mood y/n"

"No?"

"No. I'm too tired sweetheart." He says giving my forehead a kiss 

"Well… what about?' I suggested stroking my hand up his jeans 

"I just said-"

"Not that. The other one" I cooed 

"Yeah?"

"That's enough for dragging you out of bed?' 

"That depends"

"On?"

"How good you do it" he growled 

"You know how good I do it"

"Now when your this drunk" 

"I'm not that drunk"

"Really? Because your boobs fell out of your dress five minutes ago and you have yet to to even notice" he says 

I looked down and my dress had indeed fallen down enough to expose both my breasts "I noticed"

"Did you?"

"Did you?"

"Humm course I did" he smirked moving his hand to cup my breast giving it a slight fondle as he drove 

"So? That an approved payment for my driver?"

"Alright" he smirked it wasn't long before he pulled into a store parking lot not sure what store as it was shut up for the night he parked up and turned off the engine for a moment running his hand through his hair "come on" he smirked 

I smiled immediately closing the gap between us kissing his lips intensely holding his neck and shirt close he turned a little to face me wrapping his arms around my waist stroking my dress with his fingers as our heavy kisses moved he pulled back a moment seeming kinda confused and annoyed 

"Fuck- what have you been drinking?"

".... Tequila lime shots"

"Yeah I can taste the tequila"

"Should I have more slushie?"

"Yeah that might be a good idea" 

I moved and had myself more of my slushie trying to remove the taste of tequila all while he cuddles close groping my breasts once done I turned and have him a kiss 

"Better?"

"Much better" he Cooes "umm the slushies made your nipples hard where it's so cold"

"Enough" I told him pushing his hands away so he got settled back in his seat, I crawled over undoing his jeans and tugging them down enough to expose his half hard erection, I slowly stroked his shaft letting him harden into my hand as he relaxed against the seat, I began softly peppering kisses up and down his shaft 

“Ummm fuck sweetheart” he groans shifting his hips towards my mouth 

I giggled a little licking up his shaft often forcing groans out of him, until at last taking him completely in my mouth gently sucking and licking at a slow by passionate pace 

“Ughh- ummm fuck- fuck!” he groans his his uncontrollably bucking towards my mouth his hand softly gripping my hair “Faster sweetheart” he pleads so I did as he asked speeding up and sucking much harder and more intensely forcing louder moans and groans from his lips often rolling his head back on the cars seat biting his bottom lip to conceal his groans “fuck sweetheart!” He groans “I’m close please” 

I smiled and moved my head as fast as I could which was enough to tip him over the edge as he grabbed my hair forcing me as far down as I could go, his hips moving up to thrust into my mouth letting out a loud long groan as he buried his seed down my throat immediately relaxing his whole body and collapsing in the seat 

I pulled back, swallowing everything in my mouth, maybe sure to softly kitten lick him clean before grabbing my slushie to take a sip to clean out the taste from my mouth, “Happy now?”

“Very happy sweetheart” he cooes holding my hand and giving it a kiss “Come on let's get you home” He says doing his pants up and starting the car again

“My home or your home?” I asked as he began to drive he gave me a glare but smirked 

“Mine. You can make it up to me properly” He smirked 

[play-rough]

heyyy it's the anon who asked about the punishment thing first.

i was actually thinking about a scene where baby dazai is mad at chuuya and stays grumpy even if chuuya tries really hard to make it up to his baby... and chuuya is tired or something so he stops his ministrations for a bit and dazai suddenly can't handle that cause he just wanted chuuya to feel bad for something but now it's dazai who's ended up feeling bad and neglected. And the baby kind of slides next to chuuya to demand the comfort he very much deserves.

but then i was like why would dazai even want to make chuuya feel bad? maybe because chuuya punished him for something? and then o came to ask you hehe

(lol can i get an emoji to refer myself as in your asks? really sorry for such a long ask!!)

Pick your emoji of choice, my dear, I shall do my best to remember to tag the asks with said emoji (im forgetful) good idea that is a much better idea than me referring to you as punishment anon 😭 jfjksddjkshf

Even though I’m having a hard time with chuuya punishing dazai, i can DEFINITELY see dazai playing too hard to get and then getting sad when chuuya gives him space. That’s the kind of needlessly angsty misunderstanding shit that i love. They’re both tired after a mission and dazai is pushing chuuya away, and so chuuya just decides to let it go for tonight and leave dazai alone, only to be woken up by a teary lonely baby trying to cuddle up next to him in bed 🥺🩵

I can also see big Dazai trying to make Chuuya feel bad and just. Accidentally getting his own feelings hurt and then not feeling like he can go to chuuya for comfort bc he tried so hard to make Chuu feel bad

I actually did try to write chuuya giving dazai a time out like, back before part 2 of classification au came out and idk, it just was really hard to make chuuya not seem like an asshole, like as an unbiased reader i feel like he would have just come across very unlikeable. Im a big fan of using delusions or fever dreams to make dazai think he’s being punished, but i have a hard time when the punishment actually comes from chuuya if that makes sense ejhejkurhegh

[alteregozowie]

   To be honest, he was actually rather comfortable, nearly entirely asleep rather than just calmly resting with the shadow beneath him. Once he got used to the cold sensation that it was giving off, it was rather easy for Michael to find it appealing. Being that he often ran warm, having the cooling effect of the creature beneath him was relaxing. He could stack more blankets on top of them for the weight without getting overheated and he was happy for that. He liked the heavy sensation over top of him without the overwhelming feeling of heat. 

   So the shadow was a pleasant addition to his current sleep problem, one that he found he could actually use again if it would allow it. Of course when he had dragged it to the couch and all but tackled the creature, he had seen the brief panic look. The shifting that meant it was uncertain with what it was doing or going to do. But the creature had settled easily enough, and Michael had started to doze off. Overworked, exhausted and with a growing headache, this was the best thing he could have asked for. 

   So of course it ends far too quickly. 

   The door slamming shut was the first thing that scared the life out of him. His arms that had been wrapped around the shadow’s neck to keep it close had tightened horribly to the point a normal creature probably would have had its neck snapped. Then the sound of static, the garbled words he couldn’t even understand, had him preparing for some sort of fight. The cross of his bracelet was quickly grabbed, the pointed end digging into his palm and causing his skin to slice open. Blood dipped from between his fingers onto the couch and Michael snapped his head over toward the entrance of the room, poised ready to defend his current cuddle buddy. 

   Only to see the Radio Demon himself.

   The relief is replaced with irritation and Michael collapses back down onto the shadow, pulling his right arm out from beneath it to check the wound. Pierced by angelic silver that was going to take longer to heal, and the cross had gone nearly through his entire hand with the way he grabbed it. Unpleasant. 

   Flicking his gaze up toward the Radio Demon in question, he frowned at him and tightened his other arm around the shadow’s neck. “What is wrong with you? I was napping. Don’t you know how to close the door like a civilized person? Or speak in a voice that isn’t designed to torment the local population?” He had nearly given Michael a heart attack! He barely slept as it was, out of the constant fear of getting butchered down here and Alastor might as well have made that a reality. “You’re lucky I stabbed myself and now the shadow, I’m pretty sure if sinners can’t take angelic steel, the shadow itself would have perished at one small poke.” 

   Tired, grumpy and upset, he buried his face back down in the being beneath him, completely ignoring the fact the cross was still in his hand and he was still bleeding. “I’m tired Alastor, and it was just standing there like a sulking dog. Figured someone should show it attention.”

It took him a moment or so to stop himself from being ridiculously infuriated. It should have been him he asked, not his stupid Shadow!

Michael was not happy with his outburst at all, and it earned him quite the scolding for it. Alastor hadn't seen him upset like that, and he flattened his ears as he stared at him through the reprimand.

When the Archangel turned away from him in favor of the panicked shadow he was laying on, it made Alastor distressed. He stood there in a huff, looking up as if struggling to force down the temper tantrum he was trying to quash.

What seemed like a few moments, he exhaled, a little calmer than he was. Alastor crept slowly to the couch, seating himself on the arm. His ears stayed flat, as he fidgeted with his sleeves, graduating to his lapels and his bow.

"Michael?"

The Archangel must really be mad at him, because he didn't turn around. Now it was his turn to be upset.

"Michael?" He tried again with the same result. The Shadow however, was pointing frantically at the resting angel, and to the bloodied hand. Alastor licked his lips, staring wide eyed at the golden blood, but quickly shook his head to clear it.

He moved to Michael's side, kneeling down to very gently take ahold of his hand. He really had saved his Shadow judging by the way he gripped that weapon of his. Alastor moved to sit cross legged, scooting close, and put the hand to his mouth. Then, he began to lick at the golden blood, extremely gentle in case it was paining him. He nuzzled at the back of the palm, his face flushed. His ears were still flat, hoping maybe if he were soft enough, he'd be forgiven.

[ohmytomorrowisthursday]

Until I Fall - Part Seven

Levi Ackerman x Fem Reader.

Eventual romance but this is a slow burn, definitely angsty and darker. It will also focus a lot on Hange, Erwin and the original scouts. Eren and the 104th training corps will be around but I’m focusing on the older characters in here. Your self insert name is ‘Azeria Becker’ pronouns She/Her/Hers. Using a name because don’t like using ‘y/n’.  

Cannon universe. I wrote this for myself but I hope that you enjoy it, too lol <3

As you stood in front of Levi on that final day, you couldnt help but remember every last moment of your time in the scouts. How had you gone from that scrawny young rookie trying to fight titans to Erwin’s right-hand soldier who overthrew the government and was about to charge to your death? It was never fair, you’d never get enough time together. Standing before him, his eyes full of the sadness of the truth, it hurt too much to say Goodbye, don’t forget me. I’ll love you forever, so instead you said the only word that you could manage to speak; Survive.

cw: imagine literally every awful/gory thing that happens in SNK. Death, violence and gore. Drinking, sex.

I will be releasing 2 chapters at a time every few days. You can find all chapters here.

You were up and ready for your early morning training faster than usual. It was so hard to fall asleep, you were far too excited; Ilse and you talked for hours about the next expedition. And Levi. You hadn't expected him to do this for you. It's not that he was unkind, its just that it seemed like he found you annoying. Maybe you were wrong about him. There was so much that you still didn't know. He was older than you by a few years- not too many, but life seemed to have wore his edges down. His eyes were tired and you could tell he had been through hell. Maybe one day he would finally open up and tell you more.

The winter air felt like ice when you went out to train int he morning. "Hey, moron," Levi remarked as he met with you in front of your dormitory, "Wipe that stupid look off your face, it's too early to be this happy."

You kept walking, happy to ignore his grumpy disposition.  "You know what," you said with a little hum, "You can't ruin my mood today. I'm too excited about joining Captain Erwin on the next expedition."

"Tsk. Don't get your hopes up too high. If you stay this bad it'll be your first and last time out with us." He groaned, but you knew that you were up for it. You had only gotten faster and stronger since the 26th expedition out, and it was bound to be easier this time.

"You're just mad that I'm as good as you now, and that's why you don't want me to join," You nudge him a little and he grumbled. "Let's just see what happens, brat."

Training with Erwin was not like training with your previous squad. They spent more time sitting around tables and planning than running drills. Erwin was confident and to the point. They had new gear that he wanted to test out; signal guns that had different colours to indicate whether a titan was spotted, the area was clear, or if there was a problem. It made you nervous to have to test out new equipment with them; you had never even fought alongside them, what if you messed everything up?

Finally, it was time to drill. "Azeria, how are you feeling?" Erwin asked you. He seemed kind, but he wasn't soft when he spoke. He was like a king among men when it came to the scout; so many of you were rough around the edges, scared and motivated by survival. Captain Erwin never seemed to feel any of it, or at least if he did it was buried in some vault deep behind his eyes. He was always perfectly composed. "I'm okay, Captain. I've never used a signal gun like this before." You examined the contraption in your hands; it wasn't like the handguns you had seen the Military Police carrying; instead it was small and light, with a wide barrel for the smoke bombs.

"You'll be just fine. It's a new tactic for everyone, just do your best."

And so, you did. Even though it was just training, everyone seemed as ready as they'd be in a real battle. Mike and Levi were by far the fastest, disappearing into the trees before your eyes. It only became apparent as to where they were when you saw the smoke signal up in the sky. Hange; they were the boldest. When a 'titan' was spotted she always found a creative way to maneuver herself into a high range spot as fast as she could. Her and Moblit took on the titans as a team. You were paired with Oliver; a soldier from the training corps before you. He was young, but had managed to kill 2 titans during his first two missions. "Okay, rookie, here's the plan; you do the spotting and I'll do the killing," He said. You let out a snort.

"Fine, but you'll have to keep up with me!" You clipped your horse and ran straight ahead into the woods. "Hey!" He yelled after you. You were determined to prove yourself to Erwin and the group; you wouldn't be slowing them down. You spotted the fake titan in the bushes and let out a flair. "Good, Azeria! Keep it up!" Erwin called from behind. Using your ODM gear you shot up into the trees to practice luring the titan, Oliver flew in a few seconds later and sliced the neck. "How are you so fast?!" He exclaimed, landing on the tree beside you. It made you even more determined to do well.

Behind, Erwin was riding with Hange, watching the teams youngest soldiers. "Hmmf," Hange let out a laugh, "Not bad for a trainee." Erwin smiled. "Not bad at all."

After running the drill you were exhausted. Dinner could not come fast enough. Erwin's squad was the first in; the group was so experienced that training at times seemed a little pointless. There was no way Levi and Mike needed to run drills.

"You did well today," Hange said, joining you at the table. Your cheeks were pink with exhaustion and you couldn't even imagine what your hair looked like. "Thank you, but I think you all just make it easy for me." They smiled, "A team is only good if everyone works together. Just because you're new doesn't mean that you're worse; we've just had more time to fight those monsters than you."

You paused, staring at your plate. "I just don't want to hold us back. When we're back out there."

"You won't. I know you wont. Making it back alive from your first expedition is a good sign that you'll survive, and if you keep doing what you did today, you'll be fine." Hange replied, "Plus, I'm certain that Levi's been making sure that you're ready." You looked over to him, sitting down at the other end of the table. He glanced over at you, and let out a smile. You felt your chest tighten a little and your cheeks go pink. Why do I want to impress you so bad? All you wanted was to see him smile more.

chapter eight

[glenrocklibraryteens]

My Arboretum Adventure (With Ducks)!

My sister and I went to the Arboretum because there was finally a break from the rain. Who would’ve thought that I’d miss the sun and heat? (Just kidding, I’d take rain over the 1,000,000-degree weather from my last post any day). Anyway, we arrived and we became promptly lost within 1 second of walking. Then we scrambled around for a while trying to find the entrance (in hindsight, we must have looked pretty stupid because it was right there, but what are you going to do?). But eventually, we found it, and into the woods we went! I found this cool tree with pink flowers on it and almost immediately afterward, I spotted what I thought was a waterfall, so obviously I wanted to check it out. We stumbled across a lake with a fountain. It was pretty cool! My sister and I took some pictures and tried to avoid the other people lurking around the lake (that was mostly her. She’s anti-social ¯\_(ツ)_/¯). Then I came across this side path with a bridge and I really wanted to go, but my sister didn’t want to go. We argued for a while and then I said we could split up and meet at the spot in 5 minutes. She agreed and we went our separate ways. I’m pretty sure you can guess what happened. Spoiler: I was late. But that’s what she thinks. Let me tell you my side of the story. So I went down the bridge path and checked my watch to see when I needed to be back. My watch said 5:15. Remember that, folks. That’s important for later in the story. Anyway, I was walking and singing some songs and almost tripped to my death over some roots and overall having a grand ol’ time. So I was walking and ended up finding myself on a slanted hill/cliff thing that overlooked the Glen Rock Pool. Then I saw some nice yellow flowers. By that time, it was 5:18, so I figured I’d better head back or she’d get grumpy (grumpier). So I jogged, yes, jogged, (see, I did try to be on time) back, avoiding roots. I already knew I was gonna be late, but I wasn’t gonna be any later than I had to be! Then I got to her, spread my hands, and said, ‘Sorry I’m late!’. So here’s the thing. My sister was convinced that when we parted ways, it was 5:12. So she was back by 5:17, waiting for me. I had gotten back at 5:21. So she was really mad (By the way, my sister is younger than me. You’d think I’m supposed to be the grumpy, uptight one since I’m older and a “teenager”, but nope!). She told me she had been waiting for 5 minutes, but I said I was only a minute late. Because my watch said 5:15. Apparently, her phone had said 5:12. We compared my watch and her phone and the times were the same. I am still 100% certain that we split up at 5:15, but what are you going to do? Not my fault she got the time wrong and waited extra. We bickered for a while, but then we saw some ducks paddling along and all was forgotten. I mean, ducks! We kept on walking and then around 5:30 our dad showed up, so we retraced our steps. We got lost, then found our way, then got lost again, but come on! It’s the Arboretum! Finally, we made it back to the entrance to our dad. I wanted to go through the entrance like a normal civilized human, but my sister insisted on jumping the fence (okay, we didn’t jump the fence. We walked around it. But come on. If there is a giant fence blocking one path, even if it doesn’t cover the whole path, are you going to go around the fence or out the door?). We got in the car and shared our story with our dad, who became tired of us bickering within the first minute, and went home. Moral of the story: little sisters are wrong and ducks fix everything ;)

[angelbluediary]

Everyone has their hang ups and the things they recognize they need to work on, but what really aggravates me is when they go “i sweeeear I’m fixing it! I know it’s bad!” and then continue to do it all. the. time!! Like there is no change, no effort given, so why even say anything??

With M, it’s staying up all through the night and ruining his sleep schedule to play video games, and he’ll say without prompting (after texting me at some ungodly hour) “I’m going to fix my sleep schedule after this and before school starts” and it’s DAYS AWAY??? We’re going to have a tiring day on Thursday for HIS doctor’s appointment with ME driving for hours (and i can not deal with him being in a grumpy mood because he CHOSE not to get rest) and then immediately going from that to staying with his bf in the city and then going from THAT immediately into classes and waking up anywhere from 3–5 AM and he just expects it to be fine?

(Obviously it annoys me for all the “golden boy” comments he makes too when he’s gaming through the night and sleeping on the couch all day while I’m doing chores and running errands for our parents. And also bc he gets a major attitude when he’s tired and can’t deal well with stimulation during the day but like what are we supposed to do about that??).

And my mom with fucking temu, she always says “this is the last time I’m buying from them!” and then she keeps supporting them and buying up random garbage and getting offended when no one wants her “thoughtful gifts” and we KEEP TELLING HER temu is trash and we don’t want anything from there!!!!

And B gets soooo defensive over being asked or told to do anything around the house, or when encouraged to be more considerate or if someone points out the huge difference in how much they eat versus how much food everyone else is left with. They get so upset BECAUSE they’re aware of the way they act?? But they won’t acknowledge that, it’s just a trigger for them and obviously a source of shame because as they’ve shared with M before, they don’t want to be seen as gluttonous, but then they just keep reinforcing that perception by taking and taking without thinking of others or ever giving back?

Anyway this is yet another family vent and it makes me wonder what my annoying thing is. The thing i keep calling attention to and then falling back on. I’m probably more blind to my own faults because it’s easier to point fingers at other people but two things came to mind for me:

- in the past when I had a weed addiction and felt shameful about smoking and never wanted to be seen or have my ex know I’d smoked but still doing it anyway and getting instantly defensive if attention was called to it (though this isn’t a good example and it just makes me mad thinking about how judgmental and hypocritical he was and how i still got things done while high!)

- thinking of myself as someone who holds a lot of deep pain and suffers in silence but i actually am not silent at all and instead complain a ton. I’m very self-conscious of this. I feel entitled to that self-description when I really was alone with my thoughts and my sadness for so long, but now having proximity to even just one person who will listen to my complaints emboldens me. It’s hard to stop once i start.

[sweetmusingss]

“You better stop putting yourself down or I am going to get mad at you for real,” I warn you, pouting at you playfully but I really hated when you were too self-deprecating. I adored you and you were everything to me so I hated to hear you talk like that. “Your birthday is special to me because it means the world to me that I get to spend the day celebrating with you. Being able to grow old with you is a privilege and I do not know how I got so lucky. I hate feeling like I am getting older too but this year, I am just happy because I have you by my side,” I say, taking your hand and leading you to the bathroom with me. I go through my products, making a concoction of a bath oil and a blue bath bomb as I filled the tub up.

“I’m not putting myself down! I’m just saying... old farts don’t need big birthdays. You’ll understand when you’re an old fart.” He teases you, but he didn’t say anything further. He really didn’t want you to get upset or angry at him and he obviously loved being spoiled by you, but he also couldn’t shake the grumpiness that surrounded his birthday. “I’m happy I have you by my side too, angel. For many more birthdays, I hope.” He gives you a sweet smile before following you into the bathroom, watching as you busy yourself with the bath, always loving to watch you work. “I got Chris into baths. He has started buying lush bath bombs for himself and for Renee... your influence is taking over.” He walks over to you once you were done, smiling down at you. “As part of my birthday wishes, can I undress you?”

__

Emma furrows her brows, holding onto your hand and intertwining her fingers with yours. She gave you a sad smile, nodding at you. She was overwhelmed and she felt utterly exhausted but she could not take her eyes off of you. She was almost afraid to leave your side like something bad could happen if she did. She knew she had to talk things out with Regina and let her friend yell at her but she could not leave your side just yet. “Regina is more determined than you think. She’s probably going to be mad at me for a very long time but it’s okay. I have you back and that’s all that matters,” she said even though deep down, of course it bothered her when Regina was upset with her.

Megan was very happy-go-lucky but she was also very empathetic and had a good sense on people’s feelings. For example, she could tell that she made Emma uneasy. That made her feel upset but she could tell when she wasn’t really wanted. She gave you a small smile, wanting to let you have your moment but she also found herself drawn to the mayor and she didn’t want her to feel sad. She rushed after her, struggling to keep up with the woman’s determined walk. “Madame Mayor! Hey, wait up!,” she said, finally catching up to her. “I know you don’t know me but you should not be too mad at your friend or upset with her. Love makes people do stupid things and make reckless decisions,” she said, being more wise than people gave her credit for.

I give Emma a small smile, far too exhausted and mentally drained to argue with her about the fact that her friendship with Regina was important, too. I knew the two of them would figure it out... hopefully. “You’re too cute, no one can be mad at you for too long. Just work your Emma magic on her. She’ll come around.” I give her a sweet smile, squeezing her hand in mine. I glance over at Megan as she gives me a smile, giving her one back, my brows furrowing as she rushes out of the room, still a bit unsure how she was so okay with all of this, not knowing anything about Regina or Emma having actual magic so not knowing that Regina put Megan under a spell so all of this seemed normal. I look back over at Emma, just admiring her for a few moments before yawning a few times. “How am I still tired when I’ve been asleep for so long?”

Regina turned when she heard her name, not expecting it to be Megan at all, looking at the younger girl in confusion. She was surprised by her words, not having spent much time with Megan besides here in the hospital. “Dear, you don’t know the history that Ms. Swan and I share. We’re very... close. I thought that we were close, anyways. We’ve gone through a lot together and I thought she would tell me anything. Also, I technically dated Renee first...” She didn’t even care about that part, she had no feelings for me anymore but she was still Regina, she was still a bit jealous of someone else - especially a Charming - getting something that she had once wanted. 

[fuck-customers]

fuck coworkers - submitted at 2:26 am, the 23rd of October, 2022

i’ve been at my cafe for a year and a half now. in may i went on vacation for five days and the store practically fell apart without me, and they realized they needed to hire someone for more than the two days a week i don’t work. the new guy is a shit person, and lo and behold, a transphobe. i am trans, mind you, as is he. he just thinks some awful things about trans people, who unless they are trans like he is, they aren’t trans in his eyes.

so. 8 am this past tuesday, i walked in for my seven hour shift to find he was already there. he started making snide commentary about me, and god above have i tried being kind to him. i try so damn hard to be kind to him. we have the same favorite band so i tried talking about that with him. i was doing two-three jobs at once while he stood around and whined about how he wanted to go on break, or played on his phone, but i tried being nice. then he started his transphobic crap. to me. who he knows is trans. about trans people like me. who are ‘wrong’ in his mind. because i am not a binary trans person. i walked away and he followed me asking for a ‘civil’ conversation and wouldn’t leave me alone when i asked him to. a manager eventually had to step in and tell him to stop.

i eventually was sent on break myself, and i took that time to relax and not think- because damn i needed to not. when i clocked back in, i went back to drive thru to take orders- only for one of my coworkers to pull me aside and tell me that he was telling everyone i was mad at him for no reason and was incredibly rude to him. she had witnessed the fight and knew how close i was to having a meltdown so she told me she was taking his headset, the angel that she is, and i went back to work.

the end of his shift came and he told me, to my face, that i need therapy because i am a ‘very unhappy’ and ‘anxious’ person. he doesn’t know me. he doesn’t know how much i have struggled with depression and anxiety, he doesn’t know me. he doesn’t know that the me he sees at work is grumpy because of him, he doesn’t see that when i’m not around him i’m happy and jovial and whatever- he just sees me angry and tired of his shit. when i brought this all up with my best friend i was told i am anxious, yes, but i’m better than i was a year ago, after eight months on an anti anxiety medication.

fuck him, and fuck his stupid opinions. could he have just decided to not? at least at work? when i’m working? i know he doesn’t do jack shit but like. other people are working and don’t have time to listen to whiny little boys complain about how wrong nonbinary people are.

[thesoftanon]

Cold nose, warm heart (platonic mango & purple)

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FIRST POST

guys I was so proud of this fic and it just went- *poof*

well, anyways here's the fic

Mango didn't have a good day today. Usually, he would manage through the day with only his grumpy self, but given the… special dates he was currently close to, he spaced out a lot in the memories —which resulted in lots of small accidents, nothing serious but pretty annoying— and somewhere in the way he ended up there, lost in a winter forest in the middle of a snow storm. 

"Ah fuck, just my luck" he cursed under his breath, feeling his body tremble from the cold breeze that blew against him, normally he would just use a portal to the nether and travel through there back to his shared residence (he always preferred the heat anyways) but the moment he tried to cross the portal–

…

Shivering from the cold, mango clumsily opened the door and got inside, rushing beside the fireplace and starting a fire to warm himself up.

"Jesus, what happened to you?" Purpled asked, coming from the kitchen with some nether wart tea "did you go out in the storm?"

"The fuck does it look like prick?" Mango answered while starting to heat up and stopping the shivers.

"God… what got you so mad lately? You've been acting weird all month" purple mumbled, going back to the kitchen "you should probably take a shower and rest for the night, I'll make you some tea and-"

"No." Mango suddenly got up, no longer caring for the cold and going to his room "don't you fucking baby me, I'm a grown ass stick and I can take care of myself"

"Excuse me?" Purple rubbed their temples at the sudden attitude "I am not babying you,  I'm merely being a decent stick figure" but by the time they were done talking Mango had already locked himself in his room "dramatic bitch… don't come crying tomorrow when you feel like shit and you need someone to take care of you" but purple knew that was a lie, and they would help anyway the older needed him.

Just as they predicted, next morning Mango woke up to a killer headache and an extreme fever, taking a second to get up but instantly getting nausea from it and sprinting towards the bathroom to vomit.

"...are you okay?" Purple wanted to say 'I told you' and rub it into mango’s face before helping, but knowing the mood of the man in front of them they knew this wasn’t the occasion for it “I’m gonna call blue, they probably got some potions that can help with this”

Mango raised his hand while still puking to stop purple from talking, purple got on their knees and rubbed circles in mango’s back as he kept going on. When mango finally stopped, his sore voice spoke again “I’m not that bad, didn’t you have plans for today?” he wiped the spit out of his chin, awkwardly getting up to hear loud, exasperated sigh from purple

“your health is more important than just a random hangout, now stop being a bitch and let me take care of you” 

“I don’t need nor want your fucking pity” with lot of less force than he usually would, mango pushed purple aside “go away with your stupid friends and let me alone”

“ugh, what the hell got into you?! I’m just trying to help!” purple’s patience started running thin “Look, you’re getting into bed and letting me take care of you whether you like it or not”

“Make me!”

…

Tucked on bed while being tied to it, mango glared at the shorter stick figure with tired eyes “Fuck you purple, you’re the worst” he struggled to get out but it was no use, the ties were too strong 

“Uh-uh, sure I am” they shook their head as they walked out, hearing the doorbell “that must be red, blue send him with the medicine… stay here, I’ll be back with some soup” 

mango just stood silently glaring as purple left the room, and once alone he kicked the covers off, used his feet to grab a golden dagger he kept hidden under his bed and cut the ropes (what? did you really think our king couldn’t get out of this one?). Quickly he changed into warm clothes with intentions of going out, he moved as stealthy as he could with his current state.

Lucky him the door that connected the kitchen with the main entrance was closed, so no one would see him as he left. He was so close to his objective when a single sound made him stop dead in his tracks.

A sob, a sob he could identify as from purple’s voice.

Mango looked at the door of the kitchen undecided, well, just a glance to make sure everything was in order wouldn’t hurt anyone, right? So silently opening the door just enough to peek inside and get to know what was happening.

Purple sat there while a pot started to boil, leaning both elbows on the table as his hands covered his face, red sitting beside them and rubbing soothing forms on their back “C’mon purple, it can’t be that bad…”

“You really don’t get it” purple’s voice came out as a whisper but progressively got louder “I have tried everything, I thought we were getting somewhere, I thought he was starting to open up to me but… it always comes to this” and while mango couldn’t exactly see purple’s face, he could see how red wiped something off their face, he assumed those were tears “Am I just that bad? If he disliked me that much, why did he accept to live with me? I-I don’t… I don’t get it. I thought he was getting better, I thought we were getting better”

Mango couldn’t keep hearing that any longer, so he closed the door and took a step back. So that really happened, mango wasn’t a moron to not know he could damage purple with his attitudes, but he never expected it to be that bad, to see them cry. Guilt taking over him, he decided that just for this once he would make things differently. For purple.

…

Once the soup was done and red left, purple got upstairs with a plate –fully expecting mango to not be there– and opened the door.

“What took you so long?” mango asked, putting down a book he was reading and sitting properly to eat.

“you… you’re still here? untied?” 

“I’m sick, where else could I be? and I don’t like being tied, duh” mango answered, getting the soup and starting to eat -it helped a lot to his aching throat- “this doesn’t taste like shit, what did you put in it?” mango tried to subtly compliment

“nether wart and chicken- mango, the fuck is going on?” 

“...” mango knew this was out of character for him, but whatever, he can blame the ferver on this. Deep breaths mango, deep breaths “...ᴵ'ᵐ ˢᵒʳʳʸ” just a mumble, hard to understand but purple managed to hear it.

Silence.

“...what?”

“ah, you heard me so don’t make me repeat myself-”

“no, not that, why are you apologizing?” purple looked confused, mango swallowed his pride… a bit.

“Because I’ve been a pain in the ass and you just wanted to help, so… yeah” mango finished his soup faster than ever, god he was hungry and– wait, no, this is not the time for food “Purple, I might be one of the biggest pricks you’ll ever meet, but you- urgh, this is gonna be one of the cheesiest things I’ll ever say, be grateful I’m this sick” he already felt embarrassed by merely thinking it, but mango still remembered victim telling him how important is to communicate both positive and negative things “I do love you, I do see you as my annoying little sibling and I– H-hey! don’t cry! why are you crying?!” Did he mess up again?

“You are a prick mango tango” purpled jumped to hug him close “I thought- ugh, doesn’t matter, I’m just happy things are turning out alright”

“hey, keep the distance or you might get sick” 

“Don’t care, hug me right now bitch” and mango did.

Maybe there were still things left to talk about, maybe this wouldn’t be their last fight, maybe things wouldn’t be so nice between the two of them all of the time, but who cares? all the siblings fight every once in a while. That wouldn’t break their bond.

[sugxrslushy]

You’re my safe spot

➪ a/n: I DELETED THE ASK AND IM SO MAD AT MYSELF AHHH. someone had asked me for “you’re my safe spot” with Kid! I wrote it and I’m so sorry I accidentally deleted it! thank you for the little compliment though, here’s me writing a soft Kid once again lol

includes: Kid (w/ a gn!reader)

warnings: nonsexual nudity, reader just helps wash his hair in the shower

Winding down after a fight was still something you’d never get used to. Your body still shook from the excitement and adrenaline coursing through your veins. Your heart beat loud and strong, you could feel it without even pressing your hand against your chest.

You sighed and cupped your face in your hands, gathering yourself before rising back to your feet. You were a mess but it wasn’t shocking, the fight had erupted out of nowhere and you had no time to get ready. You were tired enough beforehand, now all your energy was beyond drained.

It grew quiet as everyone returned to their rooms, you walked past the bathroom to hear a crash and cursing. You stopped dead in your steps, turning to listen more closely. Has someone managed to hide on the ship? Should you go get someone?

“Fucking hell!” A familiar gruff voice shouted and you muffled your laugh, taking a step forward. It seems like messes always follow your boyfriend everywhere. You rap your knuckles against the door then crack the door a bit.

“You alright there?” You call in and you hear another string of curses.

“I keep dropping shit, ‘s annoying” He mumbles. You can imagine, he’d still been adapting to only having one arm now. It’d been tough lately and he’d fallen into a dreary and sour mood ever since the fight.

“Let me help you, I need to take a shower anyways. I’m gross after the fight.” He huffs but makes no argument. You strip down and join your grumpy captain, taking the bottle of shampoo from his hand and lathering it up in your hands.

The water is warm and relaxing, calming you down and clearing your mind from the fight. Kid relaxes against you as you reach up to help wash his hair. It’s slightly knotted, probably from the hairstyle and lack of motivation to look after himself lately. You carefully work your fingers through them.

Kid sighs and melts into your touch. It’s rare to see him like this, every time he’s fallen sick with love he still keeps up that cocky attitude. You’d loved it, that’s why you’d fallen in love with him after all. But there was always something about seeing him be so soft for you that made you fall in love all over again.

“Lean back.” You mumbled and he did, letting you wash out the soapy bubbles from his hair. After it was all out, you let your hands slip down to hold his face. You smiled softly, rubbing your thumb against his cheek. “Thanks for letting me help you.”

He leans down, bumping his forehead against yours and wraps his arm around your waist. “Why wouldn’t I? Too much of a damn pain on my own.” He grumbles. “It’s better having you do it, after all you’re my safe spot.” The last sentence is barely above a whisper but it’s clear to you.

“Cutie.” You steal a kiss from him.

tag list: @cjm-cookiethief​ @kirakirakill​ @doublebird​

[tommybaholland]

when they’re grumpy but their s/o wants attention [1.5k follower special]

featuring: kuroo, kenma, akaashi, nishinoya, and kageyama

thank you for sharing this fun celebration with me! can’t wait to host more :) enjoy! x 

kuroo

he’s not super temperamental but he can develop a short fuse when he’s stressed or overwhelmed 

you’ll try to get him to take a break but he gets stern really quick 

when he doesn’t give in like usual, you take defeat and leave the room

he immediately feels bad that he snapped at you 

he will hug and kiss you until you accept his ample apology 

“oh. hey, beautiful,” your boyfriend greeted after you wrapped your arms around his shoulders from behind.

“what are you doing?” you asked, leaning down to look at the screen. 

“just work again.”

“do you wanna take a break and come cuddle with me?” 

“i wish i could, babe, but i need to get this done.”

“but you’ve been working forever. please, tetsu?” you give him your best pouty, puppy dog eyes that he always falls for. 

“not right now,” he replies shortly. 

you start playing with his hair, something you know he can’t resist. 

“babe, seriously. i’ll come cuddle with you later. now, please, i need to finish this. can you just leave me alone for another half hour?”

“fine.” 

“no, baby. wait--” the door slammed behind you before he could finish his sentence. he swears under his breath, knowing that he hurt your feelings. he quickly exits his work and gets up to go find you. 

you’re sitting on the couch, looking at something on your phone. he saunters over and immediately puts his head in your lap. 

“i’m sorry, kitten. i shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. i’ve been stressed with everything lately but that’s no excuse because you don’t deserve that. i’m sorry.”

you sigh and try to get up but he stops you by wrapping his arms around your hips, pressing his face into your midsection. 

“no, baby, please don’t go. i need you and your cuddles. pleeeeaaasssseee,” he pleads, hugging you tighter. he feels your stomach vibrate against his face and he looks up to see you laughing lightly. 

“what’s so funny?” he chuckles with you. 

“nothing,” you reply, putting a hand in his hair. “you’re just so cute.”

“does this mean you forgive me?” he asks, sitting up. 

“i suppose you can be forgiven.”

“i’ll take it. now, c’mere.” he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into him to accept the many kisses he places on your cheek. 

kenma

he gets frustrated or irritated kinda easily 

mostly when he can’t complete a stage in one of his games 

he can displace his anger onto you when you want to snuggle up to him 

he doesn’t realize what he did until later when he finds you sitting by yourself

he has a simple apology but he makes up for the lack of attention he’s given you 

you always knew where to find kenma. in his room, playing a game. if it’s new, you probably won’t see him for a while as he tries to spend all his free time trying to complete it so visits to his house were frequent. 

even if you had an outing planned, he would try to get in some gameplay beforehand. 

“hey, ken,” you greeted as you entered his room.

he doesn’t respond for a few seconds as he vigorously mashes buttons to defeat the battle he was on. he lets out a frustrated grunt as the ‘lose’ screen taunts him before turning to you. 

“oh, hey.” 

“are you ready to go?” 

“yeah. um, let me just try one more time to beat this,” he negotiates. 

“okay,” you reply as you sit close next to him. he restarts the stage and you watch him play until you yawn and start to lean your head on his shoulder. 

“y/n, i can’t do this while you’re-- oh, god. no!” 

he loses again, causing him to harshly nudge you off his shoulder. 

“ugh, i was so close just then. why do you have to lean on me like that?”

“i’m sorry. i was just kinda tired.”

“well, maybe you should get more sleep so you don’t make me lose again,” he snaps. he mutters under his breath before picking the controller back up and starting again. 

he barely even notices you’re gone until he completes the stage on the next round. he gets up and goes to look for you. he finds you sitting outside his house, presumably waiting for him. he frowns, feeling guilty about what he said to you and continued playing instead of apologizing to you. you could’ve been sitting out here forever. 

“y/n?” he says softly, getting your attention. “i’m sorry. i was mad at the game, not you. i didn’t mean it like that. i’m ready to go now if you want.” 

you’re not totally convinced which prompts him to sit down next to you. he leans his head on your shoulder just like you had to him earlier. he slowly reaches his hand over to yours, interlocking your fingers. 

“i really like when you lean on me. please don’t listen to anything i say when i’m playing games.”

you sigh. “it’s okay. i forgive you. let’s go.” 

he nods, standing up with his hand still in yours. 

“can i have a hug?” he asks cutely, his other hand reaching for your elbow. 

you grin and nod, letting him pull you into him. he hugs you tightly, his fingers tickling your back as they brush across. he pulls away, his hands moving to hold either side of your head to kiss the tip of your nose. 

“okay, let’s go.” 

he holds your hand the whole way there. 

akaashi

he’s pretty calm and not quick to yell like kuroo but he can let stress take over easily

he’ll try to take a nap to relieve it but you come over as a surprise 

he doesn’t take it too well and ‘snaps’ at you 

you end up leaving his house completely and now he feels like he can’t just nap this one away

hugs and cuddles you as he apologizes 

he had finally felt the sweet embrace of his bed after the longest day ever. he just wanted to sleep it all away, easing his aching muscles. what felt like seconds later, he heard your voice. 

“keiji,” you roused, rubbing a hand over his back. “are you sleepy, babe?”

he groaned, shifting over to face away from you. 

“i’m trying to nap, baby. what are you doing here?”

“i just wanted to surprise you. you seemed like you were having a bad day,” you explained.

“yeah. i was. and you just woke me up.”

“oh, i’m sorry. i can rub your back if you want.”

“i want to take a nap. alone.”

“oh. i, um-- okay,” you stuttered, getting up quickly and leaving the room without another word. 

he couldn’t go back to sleep after that. you wanted to make him feel better and he only pushed you away. he quickly got out of bed, hoping he could catch up with you. you weren’t very far from his house as he rushed down the street. 

“y/n? please, wait!” 

you stop in your tracks but don’t turn around. his heart is hammering against his chest as he stops behind you, trying to catch his breath.

“i’m...sorry.”

“why are you apologizing? i’m the one who ruined your nap,” you reminded him. 

he walks around to stand in front of you, pretty eyes looking down at your wilted figure.

“no, you didn’t, baby. you didn’t do anything wrong. i was being a jerk and didn’t need to say that to you. i think i need you more than i need a nap. although, you and a nap would be nice, too.” 

your lips perked up slightly in a smile, making him lean down to get a better look at your face.

“is that a smile i see? no, don’t hide it. c’mere, beautiful.”

he takes you in his arms, hugging you tightly. he rocks you from side to side as he leans his head on top of yours. 

“i would love for you to join me for some cuddles. but i’ll probably fall asleep.”

you agree, smiling at him before he gives you a sweet kiss. he leads you back to his house where you go back into his room. you get all comfy under the covers with him lying on top of you, his head on your chest. 

he kisses your cheek a few times before laying down. “thank you, baby.” 

nishinoya 

he’s usually a very bright and happy-go-lucky boy but he can get irritated 

he’ll get way too amped up about something and then get frustrated when it doesn’t play out how he thinks 

he does get loud when he lets it all out on you as you’re trying to comfort him 

you try to hide your tears and leave him alone but he cannot believe he just yelled at you 

he will literally get on his hands and knees as he apologizes 

you liked to meet up with him after his practice so that you could walk home together. seeing him in the gym, you decided to surprise him by placing your hands on his shoulder and using him to brace yourself as you jumped into the air, which is something he would often do to you and his teammates. 

“hey, sweetie,” he greeted after turning around, looking kinda solemn.

“you ready to go?”

“yeah. let’s go.”

you followed him out but he didn’t take your hand like he would whenever you walked home. he could never hide his feelings though.

“ugh, i missed almost every dig today. every one! i’m so pissed, i’m going to do so many push-ups-- what are you doing!?”

he snatched his hand away from you when you tried to hold it. you winced at his sudden outburst. 

“um, i just wanted to hold your hand.”

“are you even listening to me? i’m really pissed off right now, babe.”

“i- i’m sorry,” you apologized. his heart broke when he heard the break in your voice and seeing your eyes become glossy. what was worse, he was the cause of it. 

you tried to push the tears back into your eyes. “i’ll walk by myself.” 

he grabbed your wrist quickly to stop you. “no, wait.”

you couldn’t hold it in and started sobbing. your hands coming up to cover your face. 

“don’t cry, beautiful,” he consoled, wrapping his arms around you. “that was stupid of me to yell at you. i love when you want to hold my hand. my emotions just got the best of me.”

“it’s, it’s okay,” you sobbed, wiping your eyes. 

“no, it’s not!” he declares. “what do i have to do to make it okay? please tell me, sweetheart.”

“oh, i know--”

“that’s okay, noya. you don’t have to--”

he was literally on his hands and knees in the middle of the road asking for your forgiveness. 

“oh, my sweet, beautiful, gorgeous, smart, strong s/o! will you please forgive me and my idiot self for being a bad boyfriend?”

“noya, you’re not a bad boyfriend. please get off the ground.”

“not until you forgive me!” he wraps his arms around your middle, pressing his face into your tummy. 

“okay, okay. i forgive you,” you laughed. 

“yay!” he jumps up and into your arms, kissing you many times on the head. “you are my favorite person and i can’t stand to see you cry.” 

“now will you hold my hand?”

“of course. can i kiss you too?” 

kageyama

he’s known to be habitually grumpy 

he enjoys your presence the most so if he starts getting short with you, you know something’s bothering him 

yells like noya but you’ve heard it before so you’re able to leave him to cool off 

he’ll eventually realize he was being dumb and didn’t need to yell at you

but he’s not the smoothest at apologizing  

kageyama did not like school. he’d rather play volleyball for the rest of his life. he was good at it, he memorized all the plays, and he could understand it. but when he actually does study and still gets a bad grade, you’ll never hear the end of it.

“ugh, this is so stupid. i thought i studied enough!” he vented as you two sat in his room together. 

“it’s alright, tobi. we’ll just try something different next time, that’s all,” you consoled, patting him on the shoulder 

“pft. easy for you to say,” he grumbled.

“excuse me?”

“you get good grades all the time without any effort. it doesn’t make sense.”

“i actually try very hard and i want to help you--”

“well, i don’t need your help!” he blurts out, shifting away from your touch.

your lips draw into a hard line “that’s fine. i just don’t want you to get discouraged about school, that’s all. you know i care about you,” you reasoned. you could tell he was already on a short fuse and were currently trying to defuse him. 

“i just think that you should--”

“look, you’re not my mom! can you just shut up about this now? i’m done talking about it.”

you nod quietly before packing up your things and leaving. it was obvious he needed some time to himself and you weren’t about to be on the receiving end of his aggressions. 

later that night, there was a knock on your door. it was none other than your grumpy boyfriend who looked rather remorseful. 

“uh, hi.”

“what’s up?”

“i, i know you probably don’t want me here right now but i just wanted to say that i’m sorry.”

you simply nodded, the silence allowing him to keep talking. 

“i was being a dumb jerk. i know you care about me and i really, really care about you. i feel like i don’t appreciate you enough for everything that you do for me.” he looks down, ashamed of how unfulfilling his love seems compared to yours. 

“that’s not true, tobi,” you negate, reaching to him. “i know you care about me. you just have a different way of showing it. like coming here late at night with a-- is that a bento box?” 

“it’s some snacks my mom helped me make. she said this is good brain food. i was hoping you could help me with some homework.  also,” he looks away from you once more.

“i can’t go to the tournament if i don’t pass japanese lit. could you please help me?”

you look him up and down for a few moments before grinning. “of course i can.”

you let him into the house. you feel a tugging on your shirt and turn around to see him standing there awkwardly. 

“yes?”

“would you-- can you hug me, please?”

you don’t respond except with a smile and simply wrap your arms around his waist. he hugs you tightly, burying his face in your neck. 

“thank you. love you so much.” 

he has lots to learn, but he’ll get there and one day, it’ll be as easy as volleyball. 

the event is over but more coming soon! send a request in the meantime..

[leahblackk]

I have not sent in a request jn like 6 years but okay -

something maybe a lil big angsty but like spencer is being over the top sarcastic with reader. maybe they’re in an argument over his job or something some argument and Spencer is just being very rude and sarcastic to the point where reader can’t tell if it’s a joke or not, and in the midst of their argument spencer is called away on a case, and comes home to see reader has left. (if u wanna fluff it up at the end he can apologize profusely and they can cuddle it out but up to you leah bc your mind is genius)

Hurtful words

(Not my gif)

Summary: a little blurb by my local amazing ideas giver, Alex. Let’s all say thank you Alex for this idea.

Couple: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Warnings: Spencer being a little shit. And mentions of being injured because of gunshot. And many mistakes I’m sorry :)

Oh my god yes! I feel like I haven’t done a blurb in years. Your blurb ideas are the ones that keep me going. And you are the genius!! Your ideas are extremely amazing and I’m happy I can make them true <3

Spencer Reid.

What a mystery that man was.

Y/n met Spencer as a sweet young man with glasses and cute jumpers. A man who didn't catch certain social things. He didn’t understood sarcasm in certain occasions or indirect messages or double intentions. Of course, he knew what it was, but he didn’t know how to act with it or how to use it.

Until he learned how to be passive-aggressive.

The first time Y/n ever saw Spencer being passive-aggressive with someone was with JJ when the Lauren/Emily thing happened. Spencer, of course, was very mad about it. JJ was his best friend, the person he most trusted besides his girlfriend. He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t know. It wasn’t like he was going to tell anyone! He had the right to know that his friend whom he loved so much wasn’t buried five feet underground! He cried on his girlfriend floor for hours, and when he was too embarrassed by her looking at him, he went to JJ’s house. She saw him, she saw him crying his eyes out for her and she didn’t say a damn thing! Of course he was going to be mad.

Y/n never thought she had to worry about him being like that with her.

Spencer always has been a sweet man. But he isn’t when he’s under stress, mad or sad. The pressure over him made his IQ of 187 slashed to 63. He couldn’t think straight. And Spencer never worried about him being like that with his girlfriend. He didn’t had any reasons to be. She was all nice to him and cared about him.

But now, things changed while they were fighting in their shared apartment.

Y/n has been injured on a case after being reckless, or that was the way his boyfriend thought, but to be honest she saved a life, even if that got her hurt. She didn’t care. She would do it again. And that petrified Spencer.

Even if her doctor told her she could go back to the field. Spencer wasn’t going to have any of it. That was why they were fighting. Neither of them liked to deal with strong emotions. He wanted to say he didn’t want her to be there because he was scared he was going to lose her. He couldn’t lose her. She was his everything. His glue putting him together when the world tried to bring him down and shatter his heart. She was the thing that keeps him going. But instead of saying that, he was treating her badly and Y/n on her side wasn’t going to have any of it.

“Why can’t you understand, Spencer? I’m not a child. I can perfectly take care of myself.” She said putting her clothes on her go-bag while Spencer took them out.

He chuckled, “Perfectly take care of yourself? Yeah of course I believe you. When did you take care of yourself? When you put yourself in front of the unsub and he shot you? Yeah, Y/n, that’s taking care of yourself.”

She frowned.

That hurt.

“Excuse Spencer but you’re not no one to tell me what to do.”

“I’m your boyfriend!” He said, hurt.

“And? That doesn’t give you any right to tell me what to do. I’m a grown-up, Reid. If you didn’t notice. I’m not a child you can take care of.”

“Sometimes I think you are, you know?” He then looked at her, “You act worse than a child sometimes. Being so reckless and putting yourself in danger.”

“Like you haven’t done that yourself either.”

“I have! But I knew what I was doing. You weren’t thinking!”

“When is gonna be the day you understand you can’t tell me what to do?”

“When you stop being so reckless and actually take care of yourself,” He crossed his arms over his chest, “But apparently that’s not happening.”

She sighed with anger and looked at him. Throwing a shirt over his face and going downstairs to the kitchen to drink water and calm herself. Spencer followed her and entered the kitchen taking a glass of water as well.

She didn’t even look at him. He wanted her looking at him. He wanted to feel those eyes on him even if they were full of anger.

So he made it in the wrong way.

“And you said you’re not a child,” he murmured referring to her throwing the shirt on his face.

“What was that?” She turned around and look at him.

“You perfectly heard it, Y/n.”

“I can’t believe you’re the one calling me a child. Look at you,” she moved her hands up and down in front of him to make a point, “I’m going to that case you like it or not.”

“I wouldn’t risk the team to be with you on the case. They might end it up injured with your recklessness.”

Silence.

The words Spencer throw made echo in both lovers ears.

Reid bit his bottom lip regretting the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. Trying to take them back but the damage was already done.

Y/n looked at him without any emotion. Until her eyes start to burn and the tears came out. She lifted her hand with anger and wiped them off feeling her cheeks getting warmer and warmer.

Spencer looked at her and his heart ached. Why did he said that? She was a great agent. He was just scared of losing her and if by telling her that stuff, she would stay home safe, he would do it. But he regretted it now. He regretted it so much.

She chuckled without any humour and licked her bottom lip, tears coming down her face again.

But she let them now. Too tired.

Spencer’s first instinct was to step forward to her, but she stayed back putting her hands in front of him, to stop him.

She didn’t want to be touched by him.

He looked down.

He spends his life touching her. Loving her and worshipping her body. Touching her soft skin with soft moves, carefully not wanting to break her as she was a porcelain doll. But now, she didn’t want to be touched by him.

And Spencer understood.

He did.

It was all his fault at the end of the day. He made her stayed back when he wanted to pull her in. It was his fault. “I don’t want you to touch me,” she murmured and passed him taking her arms close to her so they wouldn’t brush his skin.

Spencer’s tears came down now.

I don’t want you to touch me.

She didn’t want him to touch her.

But all he wanted to do was touch her and let her know he didn’t mean those words. How could he? She was perfect in everything she did, her job included. Mostly her job.

Spencer didn’t notice how much time had passed while he stood frozen in the middle of their kitchen until he felt his phone buzzed. He took it out of his pocket. It was Morgan.

Hey Spencer. I know you love your girlfriend so much but we have to hurry! People are dying you know? Not everything is vanilla and roses like you two.

Spencer chuckled. Only if he knew.

He went upstairs with careful moves while he pressed his palms together trying to stop the trembling. He mostly did.

All her clothes were now in the closet, her go-bag as well. She wasn’t going to the case. It wasn’t a surprise. He knew he would achieve what he wanted after saying that. But now it didn’t felt right.

He moved closer to where she was. On their shared bed. He sat down. He was about to open his mouth to say something but she did it first. “Please don’t say anything. You have said enough and I think your thoughts are very clear,” her voice sounds broken. And was all his fault, “Just go. Tell the team I haven’t made full recovery yet.”

He nodded even if she couldn’t see him because she was hiding under the blankets.

What Spencer didn’t notice was the way after saying those words, her hands end it up on her mouth trying the sobs not to come out. She knew if Spencer heard those he would stay with her, even if they just argued. It was Spencer at the end of the day.

He would do anything for her.

Spencer full of guilty took his go-bag and walked directly to the door, looking at her once more.

He wanted to ask.

He needed to know.

You’re gonna be here when I come back?

You’re gonna still be here when I come back?

But the words never left his mouth. They got stuck on his throat. The pain and the tears as well. He needs to say he still loved her. That no matter what he still loved her. He loves her.

He-

He loves her.

But he couldn’t. So he turned around, and left.

When the front door closed Y/n finally let the sobs out.

…

The young doctor tried to avoid all the questions on why he was so grumpy and distracted.

The answer to those questions was “I just had a huge fight with the love of my life and I’m worried she leaves while I’m here. Even if she have every right to I’m still scared because she’s the only thing that keeps me going.”

But of course, he didn’t said it.

He just dismissed everything saying he didn’t have good sleep which didn’t make things better because later on, he was going to be teased by Emily and Morgan.

And when the case was finally closed, he ran to the closest flower shop to buy her favourite flowers and then he went to her favourite restaurant to get her favourite food to then ran to the metro all the way to their shared apartment.

He tried to manage to open the door with all the things in his hand but he couldn’t so he put his satchel and the flowers on the wooden floor, and he was about to put the food as well but then he thought about the germs even if the food was protected, so he put it above his satchel and he was finally able to open the door.

The lights were off which wasn’t weird of her. She wasn’t a lover of the lights of the apartment, always reminding Spencer that they needed to change them as they were too bright, but they never had time to do so, but that was exactly what Spencer was going to do tomorrow.

He then took off his shoes and put them next to the others, but her shoes weren’t there which was weird but he didn’t think too much about it. Maybe she forgot to take them off.

Spencer, then, open the door, even more, to put all the things inside of the house. He put his satchel on the little table next to the shoes and his keys as well.

Her keys weren’t there.

Spencer’s heart stopped.

Her keys weren’t there.

He breathed in and out softly trying to calm his desperate heart beating faster and faster on his chest wanting to get out. He put his palms together trying to stop the trembling but this time was impossible.

He took the flowers with him and went upstairs closing the front door behind him and he open the door of their shared bedroom.

She wasn’t there.

She-

She wasn’t there.

Where did she go?

Did she leave?

No.

No.

“No,” Spencer whispered the tears coming down his eyes.

She wouldn’t. Even if she was mad. She wouldn’t do that as everyone else did without any more explanation than a letter or a note.

A letter.

He needed to find the letter.

He searched on their bed and the tables beside their side of the bed. He didn’t look in their closet or bathroom because she wouldn’t leave that there.

Spencer went downstairs to the kitchen looking for the letter on the dining table and outside of the refrigerator. But there was none.

He, then walked to the living room looking and moving things making a mess.

He needed to read the letter.

She must have left a letter.

Everyone else left a letter.

And the door open but he didn’t heard it because of his desperation and the sound of his heartbeat making echo in his hears

He needed to find the letter.

He turned around and she saw her. Standing there with a sundress and her hair tied. She looked beautiful. She always looked beautiful, but she had a frown on her face looking with confusion at her surroundings, the mess he just made and then back to Spencer repeatedly.

And then he understood he needed to explain himself. “I-I,” he looked down and closed his eyes full of tears for a few seconds. She saw the trembling on his hands. She made a step forward from instinct but then she stopped as she remembers what happened between them. He looked up at her. He couldn’t get the words out of his mouth but she waited for him to talk, patiently while he tried to find the correct words. “I came here right away. Well not right away because I went first to the flower shop and then to your favourite restaurant,” he rambled looking at her. She didn’t stop him. She didn’t have any intention to stop him. Instead, she listens carefully. She always listens, “you weren’t at home and I’ve been nervous all these past days because I thought you would leave, and you had every right to and then I came back here and you weren’t and I looked for a-a note or letter.”

Her heart shattered.

People that left his life always left a note or a letter. She remembers when he told her that.

“I didn’t leave,” he nodded. She didn’t. She stayed. “Penelope called me and she needed help with something and then she asked me if I knew why you were acting so weird and I talked to her for a while and I didn’t realize how late it was. I’m sorry.”

He shocked his head. Stepping forward to her. “You don’t have to apologize. I’m the one who needs to apologize. I shouldn’t have treated you so badly and I want you to understand that I didn’t mean a single word because you are so great and so amazing in everything you do. I would never mean those words,” now was her turn to nodded, “I just said that because after you being injured, I didn’t want you to hurt yourself or even get killed. I’m selfish, yeah I know that. But you’re my everything, Y/n. Without you, I don’t know what will I do, you’re the only one who keeps me together and the one who brings light to my darkness. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he took her hands looking for permission first, “I said those things because I knew you would stay home, but I didn’t mean them I swear I didn’t.”

She nodded again and hugged him. He sobbed while he hugged her as his life depends on it. “I know. It’s okay love. I won't leave you I promise,” she sobbed too. “I love you.”

“I love you more, so so much.”

And they held each other while they sobbed and repeat those three little words back and forth.

They were home now.

They were okay now.