#I’m sure there is more reassuring proof out there if anyone is well-versed on it pitching in encouraged

[alienssstufff]

Will the petitions against KOSA actually get sent to the governors and lawmakers? My roommate just went through a massive panic attack about it earlier today, and I tried to cheer them up with the example of years ago when Article 13 was rejected because of the worldwide public outcry against it, but I'm afraid they'll have a relapse and I won't have any good news to help them calm down

[ info here ]

From what I gathereddd yes it will get to them directly without outside interference - as all the letters are the same does this mean said lawmakers will read every single one? no - though doing it anyways matters in numbers in ways to tell them that we are aware and want a say in these actions. Like u said Article 13 was rejected because of worldwide outcry, and giant corporations are failing because of the boycott right now - proving banding together does work.

I also think what the bill proposes is a pretty big freaking ask, censorship on a scale as large as the US is a tall order and TBH if they couldn’t get control over guns (the real problem), they cannot get a hold over the internet.

I’m not aware of every censorship policy made ever, but we’re still here now and still have ability to do something about it.

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Can u do a Tom Holland x model (tall) reader where she’s friends with law roach and zendaya and z and law roach introduces Tom and Toms friends to reader at a after party and they become friends and it’s fashion week and reader invites them and reader does multiple runways and photo shoots and Tom really likes her 🥰maybe fluff and smut

IT WAS TO FLUFFY TO ADD SMUT BABE- THANKS FOR THE ASK! REQUESTS ARE STILL CLOSED I HAVE TO FINISH THE ONES ALREADY ASKED!

Summary: ah, nothing like a nice life

Warnings: boob grabbing, dancing, sitting on laps and fluff! No smut!

A/n: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK TO LONG- NOT PROOF READ!

T.H| I’m OuTsIdE iN a AmG

You sat down on your phone, playing candy crush like the old person you are, it was an after party and you came with zendaya and law roach, you’ve been friends for a little bit but it was nice, you both got closer then you both expected. You sat there pretty in a black tuxedo, shirtless with red bottoms on, hair in a shag, a pretty one though. You lifted your leg and placed ontop of the other, it was like any other after party, boring. Zendaya and law roach singing the lyrics while others jumped around them.

“Y/n!” Zendaya said, catching your attention, you shut off your phone and put it in the side of your pants, looking up at her. “Get up I wanna introduce you to someone” “zendaya-“ “later please” she took your hand and lifted you from your seat, you took the seat with you because bitches be wanna steal shit. “So y/n, this is my friend Tom- did you really take the seat with you?” “I sure did, hello Thomas” you looked at him, curly brown hair, a little bit of gel, he wore a charming smile, he was also short. “Hi” he laughed. “Thank you-“ a stranger said, trying to take the chair, “I think the fuck not!” You yelled over the music, tugging it back. “Back Yo ass up!” You say, fake charging at the person making them flinch. “You are so mean” law rolled laughed.

“It’s not my fault she crazy” you sat the chair down and sat in it. “Well anyways, this is Harrison” zendaya said, Harrison waving with a smile. “And Harry, toms brother” he also waved. “Hi Tom and erbodyelse” you waved right back at them. “She apologizes” law said. “What did I do?” You asked, law looking at you. “Hey it’s okay, she’s funny” he laughed, you gave a innocent smile. “Well let’s party right!” Zendaya said, making everyone but you smile....until of course ice cube had to come on ‘you know how we do it’ you had no other choice, you could rap every single word of it, of any 90s song. You weren’t the type to party but you better make the best of it, zendaya handed you a beer and you took it sipping it. “I’m not letting this chair go” you said, “I’ll take it” Tom said, you stood and he took it, walking to the bartista and asking him to keep it back there and not let anyone else grab it. Once the achol got in your system there was no going back, you did what you said you could, everyone was suprised you didn’t even break a sweat, would you remember this? Of course you would! You aren’t that drunk dumbieee.

You’re the life of the party when your not so stuck up and stubborn, but it’s just your personality, you got your chair back and Tom was about tired as hell, he ended up sitting on your lap and having his back on the arm rest, having a normal conversation, you both have a lot of shared likings, basically the same person but not, your feelings are always mixed but Tom is nice to even it out.

“You think this is weird?” Tom asked, “Nah it’s good, look at her” you pointed at the girl who keeps whipping her head around to the song, leaving Thomas laughing as you silently giggled. “So your a model?” He asked and you nodded, sharing a hamburger you got from somewhere, it didn’t matter. You handed it to him and he took a bite “so like Victoria secret?” “Yeah and Rihanna, ya know fenty?” “Of course I watched it like a million times!” “Who was your favorite?” You asked him, “I mean Laura was pretty sexy” he shrugged and you laughed, “yeah she was” “but she wasn’t the best” “who was then?” “You, you danced in that tight underwear, it had to be uncomfterble” “no Rihanna makes sure it’s comfterble” “well I know you would kill it in some butterfly lingerie” he shrugged, handing the burger back to you. “Why thank you, seems like you like me showing skin huh?” “Hey I might not be sober, but I’m sober enough to not tell you my secrets” “dang it!” You laughed taking a bite out of the burger.

“I should come to your runways” he looks at you, his eyes slightly squinted. “That was just what I was thinking!” You took a bite as he laughed with his cheeks filled, you chewed away as you both just looked at each other. “So favorite movie?” “I can’t go one night without watching Spider-Man-“ “really? Thank you” he cheered, you only laughed, “you didn’t let me finish, Spider-Man into the spider verse” “that movie sucks!” “Noooo it’s miles morales! He’s fucking better then youu” “we can fight if you wanna fight” “then you wouldn’t be able to come to my shows” “ah fine”

As the time passed you both only made jokes, watching everyone else dance and point out the ones who don’t know how to. It was fun, he gave you his number and you gave yours to him, chatting and no more drinking, just eating.

“Naw I saw you both!” Law yelled as zendaya hyped it up. “Doing what! We were only talking-“ “and eating!” Zendaya added on. “That’s romance!” “Well I don’t think so, so hmph” you shrugged. “Whatever bye y/n” law exited the call and zendaya did to, it was time for your photo shoot for the week and Tom was expected to come, he didn’t come yet so you had time to get dressed.

You went shirtless with a pair of high waisted cargo pants and combat boots, your hair wet and your long nails black, there wasn’t really any makeup on your face other then a whole lot of highlighter, when you went out you found Tom. He had two water bottles in his hand, his hair wet with a black shirt and normal navy blue jeans with some black air forces, he looked around for you until he found you, giving you a smile as you holded your boobs with one hand to wave at him. He made his way over to you “hey!” He cheered. “Hey Thomas, how are you?” You asked and he shrugged, “I’m pretty full so I’m happy” “you ate without me?” “How was I supposed to know? What do you want” “loyalty” he smacked his lips at you “I got you water atleast!” “I can’t drink that right know, my stomach has to look good” you both looked at it, you basically were glowing.

“Water can’t kill you” “yes it can, that’s my que, let’s go!” You took photos in this large house, with a huge mountain next to it. Tom thought you looked beautiful with your hair out, he was to respectful to look somewhere he wasn’t supposed to. You sat next to the pool with a chair, sitting in it backwards you arched your back, Tom having a seat in the background just watching how you move and how the sun reacts to your skin, lucky you put on some sunscreen so you didn’t have to get sunburns. He sipped his water and smiled to himself, Tyler the creator played in the background and as you took your time you danced some, you were a cute dancer...you couldn’t dance but you looked nice moving!

“Tom I need your hands!” You yelled, Tom instantly came over asking you what’s wrong. “I need you to fix my hair really quick” “you and I both know I can’t do that” “then please hold these” you smile at him. “What’s?” He asked, knowing what you were saying but not so sure. “Hold my boobs dude” you took his hand with your free one. “Alright alright!” He says, coming behind you to hold your boobs. “Thank you Thomas” as you were about to grab your phone your hair stylist came up to fix your hair. “You can’t do it either” she said. You smacked your lips as Tom laughed at you, still holding your boobs with both of his hands, which they perfectly fit too.

“Alright Thomas you have to be in this photo shoot” the photographer said. “What why!” He asked, completely not ready. “It’s just a great pose” he smiled. “I don’t know if she’s okay with that!” Tom said looking at you. “I don’t mind” you shrugged, looking back at him. “Alright then I’m pretty sure we have some cargos for you!” “Right here actually!” Why do they have some men’s cargos, you like men’s clothes sometimes, your more thicker then Thomas though so that’s really confusing. You silently gasped “law!” You said to yourself. “Let me go change yeah” he said, you put your hands ontop of his, he removed his and ran to go get changed, when he came back he was dressed just like you, highlighter on his abs, everything.

“You look good” you complement. “Not as stunning as you darling” he said, ice cube now playing “alright let’s go to the mountains”

You all made your way up there, on the tip of the mountain, if you were to fall you’d die, you afraid of heights but Tom held your hand to reassure your safe, you and Tom stepped on the end, one of his arms came around your breasts, perking them up and the other came around your waist, you leaned on your left knee, tilted your head to lean on toms, the sun glistening your skin as you closed your eyes amd lips slightly open and your hand held his cheek as his lips were softly touching your neck. “Alright, perfect” they recorded you both, then when they look back there gonna make it pictures, they snapped another of you both hugging each other, his back muscles and the back of his head, showing his wet curls as you wrapped one around your finger, your lips so close to his ear, pelvis to pelvis and chest to chest, all very very good pictures.

You and Tom danced to the music, all oldies playing, Mary J Blige, Tony!, Tupac, Brandy, New edition, Micheal Jackson, snapping more pictures while you both weren’t paying attention. “Oh this totally gonna is gonna get in the book, this is gonna be all over the news” “oh tell me about it” the photographers laughed, but it was time to take the solo one, you covered your breasts as you were on the tip of the mountain, your face infront of the sun, you covered your face with your hand from a distance, revealing one of your eyes as they were light from the sun, you looked up at the camera and made eye contact with it, your lips again slightly open. “Perfect!”.

Snapped.

Tom put you on his story, smiling to himself as you came back down. “It’s hot!” You yelled, everyone laughing at what you said. “Guess who’s the new face of vogue!” Jim said, the photographer. “Me!” You jumped, dancing to yourself as everyone cheered you on as P. Y. T played, everyone clapping to the beat as you kept dancing, everyone singing and doing their own thing. Tom sung as he came up behind you, holding onto your waist as you moved you hips, some people recording for the YouTube video. It was like you were dating before you even knew it, it was nice, everyone could see the love you had for each other even if you both were oblivious of it.

“Did a wonderful job darling” he said, both in the same dressing room. “You didn’t do to bad yourself” you smiled at him, putting on your bra and your oversized shirt, taking off your pants and boots next as he followed along to put on the clothes he had on first. “Your the new icon y/n” he smiled at you. “Don’t say that, we both know zendayas the queen” “but you can be the king” he winked at you, you only smiled and shook your head. “So you guys, can we post these videos!” Jim said, you both looked at each other then the door. “Yeah!” Both of you said, I mean it was platonic right? Totally.

For the rest of the week you did the runways, the photo shoots, you of course were the new face of vogue, Victoria secret, Rihanna wanted you to come back, rumors of you and Tom dating which was okay you guessed, it was all just so going good for you, but Thomas not so much. “I think I really fucking like her” Thomas said, sitting in one of the front seats for your runway. “Then ask her out div!” “Harrison shut up!” “I’m just pointing out the obvious” he shrugged. “Well then don’t” he whisper yelled. “I can hear your whole conversation, Thomas” zendaya said smiling, “me too” law and zendaya high fives each other as Tom rolls his eyes, soon music starts playing and models come out, best for last so you weren’t out yet, Tom sat there bored wondering when you were coming out, crossing his arms over his chest as the time ticked, everyone was recording the models, professional cameras all over and recording.

And then your music played ‘Shes A Bad Mama Jama’ as you came out with your yellow layered large poofy dress, a deep v-line and black heels under, dangle earrings and your hair in butterfly braids, shinny lip gloss and long eyelashes, you walked down and danced a bit, everyone clapping for you, just cheering for you, Tom was lucky to even know you, the way your skin shined and you were so photogenic, you were just a goddess really, a mic in your hand as you finished coming down, you said a single ‘hey y’all!’ And everyone cheered for you, clapping.

“As you know I’ve done a lot in this week, including this” you held up your hands at the whole entire place. “But I couldn’t have done it without a few people” people clapped for you. “That includes, law roach” claps. “Zendaya” some ‘woos!’ “And Tom holland” he was shocked but everyone still cheered for him, smiling and waving at everyone who cheered him on. “I honestly feel so honored, I love every single one of you in this room, you’ve been with me ever since I didn’t get a chance, but that’s the thing” you pointed at the camera “if nothing works out, be your own boss. No one can reject you if your doing your own thing, that’s what I did” you shrugged, everyone clapping for you more. “So we have this set up right?” “It’s all in the trunk Thomas” “well are you gonna help me?” He whispered to zendaya which she laughed at “you have guns for a reason” she squeezed his arms. “Shut up” he silently giggled as he still payed attention to you.

You then walked out, everyone still cheering loudly as you waved them goodbye. You made your way to backstage, finding the models, including cara, Naomi, Gigi, Bella, Kaia, and Lupita. You walked over to the table and grabbed the champagne and grabbed it, law, zendaya, Tom, and Harrison all coming backstage and grabbing their glasses. “Ready?!” You ask and they all cheer, all around you, you popped the bottle successfully, you poured poured everyone some, including yourself. “Alright what are we cheering for?” You ask everyone, “your success!” Gigi says, making you blush. “Stop it, our success, we did it all together” you say making everyone ‘aw’. “To our success!” You yelled, everyone said it after you, raising their glasses and clanking it with some people before taking a sip, Tom came over and kissed your temple, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“Congrats babe, you deserve it” he whispered in your ear. “What’s with the pet name” you laughed. “Come to the car with me yeah?” He asked, you nodded at him and the small group followed behind you, making your way to the car he opened the trunk, revealing balloons falling out and flying in the air.

but also a collage of you both, at the club with him sitting on your lap sharing the hamburger, laughing with each other to at the photo shoot, you both dancing with each other, the actual photos you used for the magazine too, then you both hanging out getting coffee and hugging each other in public, then both of you in these dark gothic wigs, with electric guitars, back to back as you put on this weird scrunched face, to hard to explain. You smiled as you picked up the collage “I love it” you said. “I love you” he said back, you looked back at him and he smiled. “I liked you the first moment I met you, your funny, sweet, stubborn, cute, your scattered everywhere-“ “I am not!” You cut him off. “Oh you are” zendaya said, the small group recording letting out small laughs. “You just proved my point y/n, but I love how I can even you out, I like the way you look at me, I want it to last everyday, every night, I just wanna be with you.... so in that case would you be my girlfriend?” He asked, you smiled so wide as you out the collage down in the car, you walked up to him and made eye contact with him as he stood there, looking up at you, you kissed him, smiling into the kiss and kissing him repeatedly “alright get it over with” law intruded, “yeah yes I will” you nodd and he smiled, kissing you again. Zendaya smiles “AGHHHHHH” she screams in excitement. For some reason ‘ivy’ by Frank ocean played and you both just made eye contact with each other.

[illfoandillfie]

would love to see another fluffy/smutty addition to the seaside rendevous verse with joe and reader, am quite fond of that series

It’s been so long since I revisited these two but I had a lot of fun with it! Big thanks to @johndeaconshands​ for the suggestion to take them back to where they first met. I didn’t do the whole revenge tease thing exactly and it might have ended up a little more angsty than originally intended but the idea of them going back to the hotel sparked some ideas! Mostly it’s fluffy and smutty and hopefully you guys like it!  Also it’s like 3k because I am terrible at keeping things short skfjskfjlskf

warnings: smut but it’s not particularly kinky. Mentions of choking but that’s about it.

Seaside Rendezvous Series

Blurb Advent: Day 19 

Things had felt different between you and Joe since the ski trip. Of course, since then you’d started talking more, calls on the phone at night, video chats while you were studying, sharing memes and random thoughts in each other’s Instagram DMs, and of course, a lot of explicit pictures and the like. But neither of you had repeated the sentiments you’d said in front of the fire as you tried to stay warm. It was scary. It felt like saying it would jinx you or something. Like if you admitted it, you’d have to label what you had and the only label available was one that would fuck everything up. Long distance never worked. But not saying anything left you floating in this weird limbo. You weren’t exactly together but you weren’t exactly single either. It was like friends with benefits but all the benefits were just teasing hints of what could possibly be. You’d probably have admitted some things out loud if it had seemed that Joe was ready to say them but he kept quiet so you did too. Your laid back approach to the relationship pissed off your friends and they all at one time or other tried to push you to tell Joe how deeply you cared for him, but you made your excuses and ignored them. Being so far away from the romantic atmosphere of a snow dusted cabin with a roaring fire, as well as so far away from the man you’d spent the time with, made you second guess if what you’d said had been real. Surely it was an exaggeration brought on by nostalgia and hormones. Yes, you felt something for Joe, yes you found him attractive, yes you’d love to have sex with him in the 3D world again, but maybe it wasn’t love. So you kept things in their limbo bubble. When other guys asked you out you turned them down and said you were kind of seeing someone already, you sent Joe steamy pictures of you in the shower and videos of you touching yourself and moaning his name (nearly always receiving something in return), but you never called him your boyfriend and you never really committed. Once or twice you thought that maybe Joe was trying to push things further but you couldn’t bring yourself to discuss it in case you were wrong so you didn’t know for sure. You didn’t even know if he was hooking up with anyone else or if you were right to feel jealous or upset at the thought that he might be.

But with the approach of the Summer break, Joe got some ideas. A break meant there was no classes to go to, no assignments due, no college to worry about. You were free to get on a plane and fly to another part of the country without worrying about missing something important. And that was exactly what Joe suggested.

“We should go somewhere, together. Chatting like this is great but I’d really like to see you again. In the flesh.” He laughed as he potted about his kitchen, one hand holding the phone up so you could see him.

“Going somewhere sounds fun,”

“Yeah, you’re in?”

“Depends where you had in mind.”

“I don’t know yet, still thinking. I’ll give you some ideas as soon as I have them though,”

 It was a few nights later, during one of your regular calls that Joe suggested you go back to where you first met, Hawaii. You readily agreed and began looking for flights, already composing an email to your parents in your head, telling them that you’d been invited to stay with a friend so wouldn’t be going home for the break. Joe sorted out your accommodation and by the time the last day of term rolled around you were packed and ready to go, mostly excited. There was a little apprehension, especially once you’d said goodbye to your friends and were on the road to the airport. They were obnoxiously condescending, telling you that seeing Joe again would be good for you and that you’d sort everything out. Most of the flight was spent trying not to worry about where you stood with Joe, or what to expect from the trip. Was it just about sex or was there more to it? But, in the second you saw him waiting at the airport in Honolulu, all you felt was relief. Joe was quick to pull you into a hug, wrapping you up tightly in his arms as he breathed out how much he’d missed you into your hair. And you squeezed him back just as hard.

Joe had managed to get a room at the same resort as the last time you’d been there. The room you were shown to after checking in was on a higher floor than you’d previously been, decorated with tropical pinks and yellows and featuring art of palm trees and flowers. It’s bathroom had two sinks and a bath big enough for you both, and the main room was largely taken up by a queen sized bed with soft pillows and complementary chocolates in the shape of shells. As soon as you put your bags down you threw yourself onto the bed.

“So much comfier than the one in my dorm room,” you laughed as Joe took the spot next to you, turning onto his side to face you.

“God yeah. I don’t know how I’m going to go back, I think this bed might ruin me for other beds.”

“Well, we don’t have to worry about that for a few weeks at least,”

Joe yawned and nodded.

“Long day?”

“Kinda. Just finished everything up and getting to the airport and everything. How was your last day?”

“Yeah, the same really. Got a reply from mum trying to find out where I was going and with who,”

“Why does that not surprise me?” he laughed, “Did you tell her?”

“God no. If she knew I was here with you she’d either fly out to spy on us or tell everyone I’d run off to elope,”

“And we wouldn’t want either to happen,”

“Exactly.”

“So, I take it your family doesn’t know we’ve been…talking,”

“You are correct. I wasn’t going to tell them when I don’t- when we don’t see each other except over breaks.”

Joe nodded, “Yeah. But, hey, at least we don’t have to worry about sneaking around this time. We can make out on the beach as much as we want,”

You laughed and gently pushed him away but Joe caught your hand and kept it pinned to his chest as he leaned over to kiss you. The rest of the evening was spent in much the same way, laying on the bed talking between kisses until you both fell asleep.

When you woke in the morning it was with Joe’s arm around you and his chest against your back. It was comfortable and comforting to sleep beside him again and you began to wonder if maybe you hadn’t been exaggerating last time. Maybe you’re friends had been right. You wriggled out from under his arm so you could go to the bathroom but when you returned you snuggled back in against him, burying your face in his chest to sleep a little longer.

Waking up the second time was just as good, or better even since Joe was already awake.

“Morning, gorgeous,”

“Morning,” you smiled, pressing your lips to his quickly, “sleep okay?”

“Really well.”

“Me too. Kinda don’t wanna move,”

“We don’t have to,” he shrugged, shuffling around to press himself closer to you, his fingers beginning to trace lazy patterns on your side, “could just stay here all day.”

“Like the sound of that,” you purred. With your bodies so close you could feel what you had to assume was his morning wood though his pants, and you couldn’t deny that sex was definitely one of the big reasons going away together had seemed like such a good idea. Even if there was confusion about what exactly was happening, you knew the sex would be clear and simple. And, after all of the photos and videos and live chats you’d teased each other with, you wanted it to happen sooner rather than later. “Did you remember to pack enough condoms this time?”

“Hey, if you’ll remember correctly, I had enough last time. It was just that during our first time I was so wound up and pissed off that I forgot where I put them.”

“Didn’t answer my question,”

“Yes, I bought enough. Like…fifty of them.”

“Is that an actual figure or just an expression?”

“An actual figure.”

“Well then we have seventy all up cause I also brought a couple of boxes. That should be enough, right?”

“I think so,” Joe laughed.

“You wanna start using them now?”

“Definitely,”

You giggled as Joe rolled you onto your back and kissed you, his legs settling between yours. Kissing was very nice but you wanted more so you rolled your hips against his, hoping he’d get the message.

“Someone’s a bit needy,” he teased, letting you sit up so he could pull your shirt off, “miss me did you?”

“Joe, I’ve been celibate since winter, you don’t have to tease me to get me worked up, I’m already there.”

“Thank god.” He laughed, the sound muffled as you pulled his shirt over his head, “I’ve been trying not to jump you since you got off the plane.”

“So, you didn’t sleep with anyone else?”

Joe paused in his mission to get your pants off, “Why would you think that?”

You shrugged, “I didn’t I just…wasn’t sure.”

“Well I haven’t,” Joe held your gaze to try and reassure you but he quickly slipped back into the demeanour he’d had before the interruption, “And I think the proof will be in how quickly I finish. Just the sight of your bra has got me dangerously close. I mean, do you know how good it is to see your boobs in real life again?” he placed his hands on your breasts and squeezed them.

“Better hurry up and get your pants off then,” you laughed, reaching forward to pull them down, “wouldn’t want you to make a mess in them,”

“Alright, alright,” he batted your hand away so he could roll off the bed and kick his pants off his ankles, “I’m going to grab a condom and the lube from my bag, you just lie there and look pretty. And stay horny,”

“No danger of losing that,” you muttered which made Joe laugh again. You pulled off your underwear, both your bra and panties flung out of sight, and settled back against the pillows. Letting your legs spread you trailed your hand down between them, lightly stroking yourself. You were already wet, just the promise of sex with Joe enough to get you going after so long without anyone else’s touch. But you didn’t want to wait too much longer so you slowly sank your middle finger into your pussy.

“Jesus,” you said, swallowing hard, when he turned and saw you, “What are you doing that for?”

“Figured I’d, ah, save you the trouble, since you’re so close. Wouldn’t want you to touch me and end things before they began,”

“Gonna need more than one finger then, aren’t you,”

You nodded, your hips rising as you added a second. You bit your lip as you met Joe’s eyes, dark with lust, as he climbed onto the end of the bed and settled there on his knees. He watched you as he opened the condom and put it on, softly complementing you, telling you how incredible you looked and how long he’d been waiting for this and how badly he wanted you. He kept egging you on, his voice studded with sharp intakes of breath hissed though his teeth as he spread the lube along his shaft.

“You ready for me?” he asked, walking forward on his knees.

“Mmhmm, so ready,” you almost whined, removing your fingers and holding them out for him.

Joe grabbed your wrist with one hand, his other resting on your knee as he took your fingers between his lips, humming around them. When he was done you let your hand fall to the bed as he settled between your legs and lined himself up, pushing into you slowly. You gasped at the sensation, a slight sting accompanying the pleasurable fullness, though it faded as you adjusted. Joe paused once he’d bottomed out, his eyes closed and browns furrowed.

“Fuck,” was all he said but you knew what he meant. He took a few moments to collect himself before he pulled back a little and eased in again. “God, I was joking before about being close but I actually don’t know that I’ll last that long. You feel fucking amazing.”

You chuckled and pulled him down to kiss you, “Don’t care, just fuck me okay?”

He nodded and drew his hips back before snapping them forward again, finding a rhythm that worked for you both.

Joe was right in saying he wouldn’t last long but he held off as long as he could, trying to get you to the same point, his fingers on your clit and his lips on your neck. It didn’t work though you could feel the orgasm creeping up on you when he groaned and stilled.

“Fuck, sorry,” he said, kissing you again.

“S’alright,”

“Hang on, I can still – ” he readjusted himself, shuffling down the bed, “do this.”

Your back arched as he licked along your slit, “Yeah, that’ll work,” you breathed out, falling into a moan as he sucked your clit into his mouth, replacing his cock with his fingers.

“Missed your pussy,” he said against you, his voice rough, as he worked you towards the edge, “Been thinking about doing this for so long,”

You moaned again, managing to choke out his name as he focused on your cunt, his lips tight around your clit, his fingers pounding into you. You came like that, his face buried between your legs as you cried out your release and he worked you through it.

“How was that?” he asked, wiping his mouth on his arm, and crawling back up the bed so he could wrap his arms around you again.

“Give me a minute,”

“Alright,” he dropped a small kiss to your temple, “actually, hang on I have something for you,”

You looked around confusedly as he got off the bed and, pulling his underwear on, rummaged through his bag again. When he came back to the bed he handed you a long, thin package, wrapped up in shiny wrapping paper.

“What is it?”

“You do know what a surprise is, don’t you?”

“Shut up, I mean’t what’s it for?”

“Well, I don’t know if you realised this but, it’s been a year since we met. Figured I’d get you something to mark the occasion.”

You looked down at the gift and then back at Joe, “I didn’t get you anything,”

“That’s alright, I wasn’t expecting anything,”

You shook your head, “No, I should have thought. I just wasn’t sure what was going on between us.”

“Yeah, I know,”

“I thought things would be different after the ski trip and I guess they were because we were like talking regularly and all that but…what are we Joe?”

“Just open the present, Y/N.”

You frowned at being blown off when you’d finally actually voiced what had been playing on your mind for so long but turned your attention to the item in your hands anyway. Inside the wrapping paper was a box and inside that was a bracelet chain.

Joe lifted it from the box delicately and wrapped it around your wrist, “I know things have been kind of weird and uncertain but I meant everything I said on that ski trip. We’ve known each other for a year and, even though there was time in there where we weren’t in contact, I still think that’s long enough to fall in love. And I guess this is my way of trying to say that and to make up for all the times I haven’t said it lately. After we went back to school last time I started to worry that if I said it again it would jinx things. But that was stupid. I should have told you I love you every time we talked. Even if we couldn’t be together in person.”

You looked at the bracelet closely as he closed the clasp, taking in the charms dangling from the chain. A Christmas tree, a snow globe, a plumeria flower and a heart.

“Most of the charms are to represent moments we’ve had together but the heart is so that, even while we’re apart, you know you have mine. Also the snow globe was as close as I could get to anything skiing related.”

You chuckled softly, “it’s perfect,”

“Good. You’ll also notice that there is a room for a lot more charms to fit on there and I intend to help you fill it. We don’t have much longer left at college so the next one will probably be a graduation cap or something and then we can talk about where to go next. LA or New York or wherever. We can figure things out, actually date, maybe move in together if we wanted. I can introduce you to my family who are just as weird as yours but in a different way. My folks already know about you and are very keen to meet you by the way. And then we can give your mum a heart attack by telling her we’re together. And we’ll make it work. Does that sound okay?”

You nodded, too choked up to speak, and kissed him.

 Joe ordered room service while you got cleaned up and dressed which you took onto the balcony to eat before heading back to bed. In the afternoon you left the room to walk along the beach, hand in hand, leaning on each other as the sun began to set. Joe wrapped his arms around your stomach and leaned his chin on your shoulder as you looked out over the ocean.

“I have a good feeling about this vacation,” he said softly, rocking you gently.

“Me too.” You turned to face Joe, wrapping your arms around his neck, “I love you,”

“I love you too,”

When the sun had sufficiently set you began to pull Joe back up to your room, “Y’know,” you said as you pressed the button for the elevator, “I still feel bad that you got me such a thoughtful present and I got you shit all,”

“I told you it’s fine,”

“I know, but I thought of something I could give you,”

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm.” You led Joe into the elevator and pressed the button for your floor.

“Well what is it?”

“Anything you want,”

“What?”

“I was thinking we’d start with a bath together, and then you could have me however you wanted,” you pulled Joe’s hand up towards your throat, “you could choke me out, I know you enjoy doing that, or I could blow you or I don’t know. Whatever you’d imagined doing to me, you can do it.”

Joe growled, his grip on your throat tightening, “I’ve imagined a lot of things,”

“Good thing we’ve got so many condoms then.”

[smythebros]

challenge #54: twinkle lights

Written for SeblaineSundays. 

word count: 1338 Rating: G 

Genre: slice of life? Honestly this is the first time I’ve written fanfiction outside roleplaying and I wanted to do something sweet rather dirty considering I’m known for writing dirty stuff.  Forgive me I’m bad a dialogue and it was like 2am when I wrote this.  Basically just be gentle with me. 

Sebastian and Blaine set up Christmas in Sebastian’s apartment.  Set firmly with @blaine-d-anderson‘s version of the character and in that verse. 

New York at Christmas was always a magical time for the city and it tended to be a tell tale sign wasn’t a proper new yorker if they told you otherwise but despite that simple fact Sebastian had never officially celebrated Christmas in the city, at least not officially in a way most people would.  Every year prior to this one, Sebastian hadn’t bothered to decorate his apartment or even buy a Christmas tree? He wasn’t a grinch by any means but he just had never seen the point if you were gonna take it all down later and between having a few epic parties for Halloween and New Years. It just hadn’t felt practical for his life.

Of course one should never underestimate the impact one Blaine Anderson would have on your life. It was the first Christmas after Blaine and Kurt’s divorce and the first Christmas since Sebastian had run into Blaine at a certain halloween party that had led to them sleeping together and had finally led to them becoming something more of permanent fixtures in each other's life beyond being facebook friends after the years.  It had been an utterly intense night between them but the days and times after Sebastian had felt himself giving more and more space in his life to Blaine, even if they never spoke actual words to what the relationship was. Sebastian had never been particularly good at having that conversation.  He kept telling himself that it was way too soon for Blaine’s whole marriage to be tied down to anyone anyway in any real official capacity. The idea to actually spend Christmas together hadn’t ever been discussed either, it had simply happened. Sebastian had no desire to spend it with his father and Blaine had seemingly been free for the holiday- which, Sebastian suspected might have been a little white lie on his part, but why call him on it?

The snow fell slowly and leisurely outside the large glass walls of Sebastian’s expensive apartment that overlooked central park, you could barely see the sun though the grey and cloudy sky. The sound of jangling lights and a few annoyed, frustrated sounds come from the taller boy as he stood in front of the black synthetic tree that was proudly displayed- if currently naked-  a little ways from him in the corner of the room.  It had been a bit of a back and forth between him and Blaine about what sort of tree to get with Sebastian pulling every para-legal move he could to argue that dragging a real seven foot Christmas tree up to his apartment was a disaster waiting to happen. Who knew that law degree would come in handy for winning such a thing? 

“I’m pretty sure the store sells them like this just to cause misery to everyone everywhere. Bloomingdale’s is secretly a portal to hell, this is literal proof.” Sebastian muttered as his fingers slipped through another tangled loop to try tug them apart as he gazed down at Blaine who was opening the sparkly tinsel in front of him. Any real frustration Sebastian had did seem to melt away at the sight of Blaine dressed in his adorable two piece black silk pajamas looking more like someone out of the 50’s than anyone modern, yet his hair was still gelled in place, apparently Blaine’s gel didn’t a holiday break - not on this one nor any other. 

“It might explain the black Friday lines they have actually.” The shorter boy’s voice floated back at Sebastian as he narrowed his eyes in the air as if he was giving that thought some serious consideration before they fell back onto Sebastian, who was only dressed in a pair of tight black boxers since apparently the idea of any modesty at all was lost on the other. It might have been the total opposite to Blaine’s style but perhaps that was what the attraction was, Kurt felt like someone who was closed off and particular about how everything, including their relationship, was.  Every choice had already been made in Kurt’s head without ever really making a proper effort to include Blaine in any of those choices.  Sebastian was someone who, despite his charming smile and dirty mind actually made an effort to make him feel like he had a metaphorical seat at the table when it came to choices. Even on dumb holiday plans like this. There’s an easy laugh from Blaine as he tilted his head down as Sebastian gave another louder groan as he tugged the end of the lights from the box to only to discover a whole mess of more tangled lights.   Blaine’s fingers curl around some of that silver tinsel as he pushes off the ground to close the distance between himself and Sebastian, his hand raising as he loops the tinsel around the taller man’s neck.  “All right I’m only gonna say this once, Mister Smythe. You gotta breath. Your first Christmas is going great. I mean, short of christmas cookies in the oven it’s kinda perfect but that seemed like a lofty request on my part.” Blaine pointed out as he tilted his head back to meet those piercing green eyes. 

There was a deep sigh from Sebastian as he let the tangle web of twinkie lights drop to the fall on a heap and instead his fingers found Blaine’s hip as if it was the most natural thing in the world. The touch is already so intimate and natural between them, easing the other against him. “I actually have no idea how to make cookies- I feel like that’s a failing on my part.” Sebastian shot back with his usual mischievous look as he gave an easy little click of his fingers before he dropped his head forward with a little brush of his tongue along his lower lip. 

“ Listen, I just...wanted it to be...special. I guess.”  There were about a thousand things left unsaid. Special after Kurt, after everything in high school, special after all missed years from each other's life.  Most days Sebastian always tended to be someone who showed his affection and his love for someone though actions- be it sex or otherwise but he’d never tried something so...big for someone before, if the mile of broken hearts and one night stands that could literally circle the island of manhattan if you lined them up-  and if if didn’t go perfect. What was the point of it in his mind? 

“It is.” The reassurance from Blaine was like a calming balm and like someone had turned on a light in a very dark room all at the same time. Sebastian’s head tilted up to stare down at the shorter boy’s stupidly bright, adorable disney eyes and wide smile. Him and Blaine had shared quite a few kisses during their...undefined time to together but  there was still a lot of firsts that they hadn’t had and has Sebastian leaned forward to sink his lips against the shorter boys, there was another first,  the kiss was deep and indulge but it wasn’t sexual- it was like Sebastian was trying to bottle all those emotions into a single kiss.  It was the sort of kiss that made time stop in movies, the sort of kiss that would make Anne Hathaway leg pop. The sort that made Blaine breathless when it finally ended, even as Sebastian’s forward dropped against his with a small smile. 

“So, when are you gonna let me teach you how to make cookies?” Blaine’s voice danced over at him, full of affection as his hand reached up to cup Sebastian's neck. 

“Well, now we’ve got plans for Christmas day..” Sebastian answered as he felt like the sun was going to explode out of his chest. He never wanted to not have this with the man in front of him.

Not for this Christmas Day, nor any year after. This is what he wanted, and always would.

[yumeka36]

I just got home from the Frozen 2 advanced screening at Disney Studios (as pictured above, got more swag than I thought I would). Gonna give my immediate thoughts and comments, with a more coherent post at a later date. Obviously, if you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t read below:

WARNING! MAJOR FROZEN 2 SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT!

-I’ve been listening to “Show Yourself” non stop since the soundtrack came out and it was gorgeous seeing the accompanying animation. The song starts as Elsa is riding Nokk towards Ahtohallan and continues as she makes her way through the cave. What was also unexpected for me is that she transforms into her “final form” at the end of the song, so she’s wearing that outfit throughout a good portion of the movie, not just the epilogue, so I hope that means there will be more merchandise for it!

-After that, she wanders through Ahtohallan which is made up of moving “sculptures” made of snow/ice that show memories: she sees some of herself and Anna when they were young playing with Olaf, various people in Arendelle, and of Iduna and Agnarr (I believe Iduna was saying something about being afraid to reveal what she really is, a Northuldra). Some funny parts, Elsa walks by a memory of herself at the end of “Let It Go” and makes a face like “yeah, I was silly back then” XD But the best part was when she walks by a scene of Anna and Hans about to dance at the coronation. She gives it a cold look and then breaks the Hans sculpture, lol.

-The important memory she finds is that King Runeard was using the dam against the Northuldra - something about cutting off their resources so they’d be forced to trade with Arendelle, or something like that, I don’t remember exactly. A poignant part was when Elsa first sees the memory of Runeard and he’s talking about how he hates and doesn’t trust anyone who uses magic, to which she says angrily that his fear is blinding him. And again, Elsa is wearing her final outfit during all this, so there was so much time to ogle it XD

-The “gone too far” part is when she follows the memory of Runeard as it fades down into a deep abyss. He was talking about something suspicious regarding the Northuldra, so she decided to jump down into the depths to find out even though she remembers the song’s warning. She sees that Runeard attacked (and likely killed) the Northuldra leader. She begins freezing as she’s down there and before she gets completely frozen, she sends a burst of magic up above, calling out to Anna (and the fact that Elsa “dies” here is proof that she’s not immortal even after becoming the fifth spirit). Her magic reaches Anna and Olaf in the cave and shows them what happened. They realize they have to destroy the dam but Olaf starts to “flurry” - pieces of snowflakes peel off him and drift away, and he tells Anna that Elsa isn’t okay. Anna pulls Olaf into her lap and holds him there as he fades away. He doesn’t melt exactly and we don’t see the full process: we see his flurries gently flow out of the cave and land in a pile somewhere else. Bruhni watches sadly from a ledge below.

-The saddest thing to me was that, after the aforementioned scene of Olaf’s “death,” the scene fades to black, then opens up again overlooking the same cave but it looks like a different time of day, then cuts to Anna crying inside - so she was literally crying alone in the cave for what could have been hours! I thought right after Olaf melts is when she’d start singing The Next Right Thing, but she spends who knows how long grieving. That is just too sad 8_8 Before she starts singing, she says “Olaf...Elsa...what do I do?” My heart shattered then. Another part that shattered it more was when Anna confronts Matthias and the soldiers as they try to prevent her from approaching the dam. When they ask her why it has to be destroyed, she tells them and says “My sister gave her life for the truth, we can’t lose anyone else.”

-Oh my gosh, the reunion at the end was my favorite part and so sweet~ After the mist around the forest fades, Anna and Kristoff approach the pillars with Anna looking like she’s ready to burst into tears...until some snow crystals flutter around her and then behind to where the shore is (not sure if it’s the shore of the Dark Sea since it’s daylight at this time, or it could just be a nearby beach). She sees Elsa riding Nokk - she starts running toward her but then stops because she’s still not sure it’s really Elsa. When Elsa says her name and holds out her arms, she runs to her and they share a beautiful hug (while Anna is sobbing). Honestly I can’t remember exactly what was said because I was an emotional wreck at that point, but Elsa tells Anna that she’s the fifth spirit, that Anna saved her, and that the bridge has two sides: herself here and Anna in Arendelle, and they’d fix the past wrongs together. And I also loved the fact that Kristoff comes over and is relieved that Elsa’s okay: he says “Elsa, you’re alright!” and gives her a hug, then (humorously) says “ you look different...did you cut your hair?” She also gives Sven a little pet. I’m so glad they included this part as it shows that Kristoff doesn’t just see Elsa as a cockblock to Anna, lol. Kristoff proposes to Anna here as well (Sven tears up a little seeing it XD)

-As for Olaf’s revival, Elsa tells Anna “I have a question for you” “What is it?” “Do you want to build a snowman?” She then concentrates and we see the pile of Olaf’s “flurries” come flying down from the cave to become Olaf again. Elsa says it’s a good thing water has memory, implying that he still remembers everything despite being “resurrected.” The epilogue just had so many cute moments - Anna and Elsa share another hug as they walk back to the stone pillars, Elsa wipes away a tear on Anna’s face, they put there foreheads together at one point when they’re talking, Elsa takes Anna’s hand and leads her to one of the now tamed earth giants and they both gently touch his giant nose, and Frohana share a warm hug. I cannot wait to get HD screenshots of it all!

-And for Anna’s coronation? To be honest, it didn’t seem like a coronation to me - it literally just had Kai announcing Anna as she walks outside (onto a stage I think? Don’t remember exactly) but right after that she’s out in the streets with Olaf, Kristoff, and Sven, who are dressed up. So it must have been some kind of event, but wouldn’t the coronation have a party in the castle and a ceremony, like Elsa had? We then see Matthias outside with another Arendelle citizen (he’s discovering the new technology of photograph, lol) - wouldn’t they be part of the ceremony if there was a coronation, and not just out in the streets doing whatever. It just didn’t seem like a major event was happening, I’ll have to see the movie again. Regardless, they reveal statues of young Iduna and Agnarr (they should have had statues of Anna and Elsa too!) and Anna notices Gale flying about and asks if he/she (does Gale have a gender?) to deliver a letter to Elsa. Gale carries it over to the forest and Elsa reads it. As we know, it’s a reminder about charades. Anna ends the letter saying “I love you” to which Elsa says “I love you too, sis” (that’s where this line that we heard in one of the teasers came from - pretty crazy they’d use a line from the very end of the movie, knowing we wouldn’t figure it out!)

-I mostly talked about the ending here but I’ll say a few things that stood out in the rest of the movie to me: Some Things Never Change was adorable. Anna and Elsa share a sweet hug at the end, during the “holding on tight to you” lines. And I absolutely cracked up during Kristoff’s verse when he’s doing Sven’s voice and telling him about getting down on one knee with the ring - some nearby townspeople see him and it looks like he’s proposing to Sven and they get the most awkward looks on their faces XD The scene in their parents’ ship was really emotional: Anna and Elsa clinging to each other with tears in their eyes as they see the memory of their parents take shape...my heart was breaking. The ensuing scene where Elsa’s overcome with guilt and runs outside with Anna telling her she’s not responsible for their actions, and she believes in her more than anything, etc., More was said between them here and I’m having trouble remembering it exactly but it was deep.

-Oh, and the post-credits scene was hilarious: it’s Olaf telling the events of the story to Marshmallow and the Snowgies (Frozen Fever is canon!) just like he does earlier when he describes the first Frozen to Matthias and the others (”it began with two sisters...”) The funniest part was his dramatizing lines of the latter part of the story - ”Elsa is dead,” “Olaf is dead,” “Anna’s crying alone” - it’s hard to describe, it’s funnier when you see it.

Later I’ll write a post with more coherent thoughts about the movie itself and not just a spoiler list - I might do that soon or wait until I see it again this weekend. But I will say that I loved it - having seen it for myself, I truly believe there’s no “tragic separation” that we’ve been fearing. There’s really nothing bittersweet about it, nothing like Anna saying “will I ever see you again?” because it’s a given that they can still be a family and nothing is keeping them from seeing each other whenever they want. At this point, it’s not that I dislike the ending as it is “I want to see what happens next!” It left me even hungrier for more Frozen, like a short reassuring us that they’re still a family by having another charades scene or something like that. Or another movie is always welcome! There was also some lore/plot-wise things I’m a little confused about, but that’ll be for another post. It’s 1am here and I need to decide if I can sleep or not, lol. If you have any questions, please send them via direct message. I’ll either answer them right away, or tomorrow if I do manage to sleep tonight.

The shock of finally seeing this movie after six years of pining hasn’t sunk in yet but it will soon.

[greatfcx]

Rules List for Mobile Users ✨

Last updated: 9/17/24

This is an independent and low activity roleplay blog primarily for the main protagonist of the Star Fox series, Fox McCloud, though it may feature fellow teammates: Slippy, Peppy, Falco, as well as an occasional appearance from James McCloud (borrowing from A Fox in Space and Rayex Visuals for icons) and maybe more to come.  Its canon follows that of Star Fox 64 onward, with some aspects of earlier games, spin-offs, and Super Smash Bros series as well.

I am selective, though I’m not exclusive to mutuals, as I am a shy bean with a full time job and plenty of other offline responsibilities that don’t give me a whole lot of time to indulge in hobbies such as this. Also, please be patient with me for this same reason.

This blog is AU, OC, crossover, and duplicate friendly. Muses from Super Smash Bros. Series and Starlink welcome, too! Just be sure that you have something listed for your AUs and OCs that I can read up on. Also a note on crossovers: I’m a bit poorly educated outside of Nintendo, so I may need some extra plotting and/or time for research with such muses.

IC=/=OOC, my character’s beliefs are not my own.

I ship with chemistry. Feel free to have your muse flirt if they would, but don’t expect anything to develop before we’ve had a chance to talk and plot out the rest OOC. Fox is a bit fickle when it comes to the subject, though, so be warned lol 

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[elletromil]

Promises

This is the last part of the Come Back (Home) verse for my beautiful @honey-bee-britt :) I hope this is all you hoped this would be back when we first plot-bunnied this years ago

Promises

Harry's not expecting anyone to welcome him at the terminal for the very good reason that he hasn't told anyone he was coming back.

Mostly because it's been a bit of a spur of the moment decision.

Or rather, it's been a long time coming, but seeing Eggsy, being with Eggsy for that too short time, it finally pushed him into realising that he's ready to come back from his self-exile.

He also didn't tell anyone because he didn't feel like explaining himself endlessly while he was busy making the arrangements to return to London.

That didn't take as long as he would have thought, but really he shouldn't have been surprised. It had been relatively easy to leave everything behind and start fresh the first time. And if he doesn't want to let go of some of the stuff he's amassed during the course of his new life, well, the important parts are mostly internal.

Still, even if he expected no one, he can't say it's a shock when he spots Merlin glaring at him across the floor.

He knows his friend has been keeping tabs on him and even if he hadn't, Harry's sure that Merlin has some sort of alert for when he uses his official passport.

Which he had done. He's still careful with his identity because retired or not, any enemies he's made who are still alive won't care one bit that he's left the world of espionage behind, but he's found over the years that his real passport is the best way to hide. Apparently no one believes that a spy would choose Hardick Hart as their identity.

Not that they would be entirely wrong. He hasn't really chosen it, what with his parents giving him the dreaded name, but still. One would think that people would make the connection between the two. His 'assumed' identity is merely his preferred nickname since childhood after all.

Highly unimaginative, but it's what has kept him safe for decades.

"Merlin," he greets the other man pleasantly, "it is good to see you."

Merlin keeps on glaring and Harry stays where he is, well out of the way of any other travellers, waiting for him to finally say what is very obviously on his mind.

"What are you doing here Hart?"

He doesn't wince at the use of his surname. He more than deserves Merlin being pissed at him.

But he doesn't let himself be intimidated either. "I'm coming home."

Merlin narrows his eyes and Harry can see from the corner of his eye how people are unconsciously giving them an even wider berth. It's good to see Merlin still hasn't lost his touch.

"And by that, do you mean London or the lad?"

He doesn't stop himself from smiling at the wave of fondness he feels for how Merlin is so obviously protective of Eggsy. It's reassuring to see he left him in good hands.

"That's rather the same to me." He answers honestly. It took a while before he could do it without even thinking about it, but it's a liberty he's allowed now that he's retired. One he never wants to give up again.

Merlin's expression is still somewhat severe, but Harry knows him well enough that even if he wasn't an ex-spy, he'd notice the minute relaxation in his posture. Obviously, Merlin was ready for a fight if he didn't like Harry's answer. And rightly so.

"Home is what he calls as such, because I want to be there for him," he continues, making his intentions clear, "be it London or anywhere else." He wants to be with Eggsy, wants to share whatever is left of his life with him. Even if Eggsy is to continue to go on missions, Harry doesn't care as long as he gets to be the person he comes back to.

"And what if he doesn't want you there?" Merlin asks not unkindly but this time around, Harry does wince.

"I'll have to learn to live with the heartache." He hopes he won't have to, but he's not about to force his way into Eggsy's life either. Sometimes, loving someone is all about letting them go.

Merlin nods once and reaches for one of Harry's suitcases. Harry relinquishes it to him without a word and falls into steps with him easily, the act so familiar from decades of doing so in the manor's corridors.

He bumps his shoulder carefully into the other man's, smiling when Merlin looks at him with an eyebrow arched in interrogation.

"Thanks for coming to pick me up."

Merlin rolls his eyes, but he's also smiling, exasperated fondness written all over his face. "Anytime Harry, anytime."

***

"Alright gentlemen, behave, I've got a meal to prepare."

JB and Hamish predictably make a nuisance of themselves, staying by his feet and whining pitifully for scraps. Maybe he should have left them at Merlin's but he's certain Eggsy will appreciate not having to go fetch the dogs tomorrow.

And if he's entirely honest, he's missed having canine companionship in his life. It's easier to remember the simple pleasure in life when you've got a dog slobbering all over your hand because you fed it a bit of chicken.

He'd have given them proper treats, but Eggsy has changed a few things in the house in the last year or so. And if he has no qualms about breaking and entering, he draws the line at digging through the cupboards like some petty thief.

Anyway, if Eggsy hadn't wanted him to come in, he should have upped his security a bit more than the Kingsman standard and the couple of tricks Harry had taught him. The only way he could have let himself in faster would have been if the door had been left wide open.

The thought crosses his mind that Eggsy wouldn't know to change his security measures to keep Harry out since he hasn't learned about his return yet, but he dismisses it as the sauce begins to boil.

It's not like Harry plans on staying once dinner is over. He'd like to, but this is now very much Eggsy's home only. The fact he's changed so many things since Harry left is proof to that.

And while he hadn't really expected anything else, he's a bit ashamed to realise only now that he really should be looking for a flat of his own. He knows Merlin doesn't mind putting up with him, but that's because he's the best friend anyone could ask for. Overstaying his welcome by months, if not years, would be a very bad way to repay him.

It's deep into those thoughts that he hears the breathy gasp behind him and he whirls on himself, ready to defend himself with the wooden spoon if need be. Luckily, he recognizes Eggsy before he can start an unfortunate fight.

He smiles, some tension he hadn't realised he was holding melting away at the sight of Eggsy standing safely in front of him again.

"Eggsy! You're just in time for dinner!"

Even as Eggsy bends down to pet the excited dogs at his feet, he doesn't look away from him and Harry holds his gaze. Gods, he's missed him.

But the silence stretches between them and Harry starts to worry. Merlin hadn't said anything about Eggsy being injured on his mission, but then again, he hadn't said much at all. Truth be told, Harry knowing about Eggsy's return tonight is mostly due to a slip of Merlin's tongue. Something that only happened in the first place because even though Harry is no longer Kingsman, Merlin knows he can trust him with sensitive information if he has to.

And while Eggsy doesn't look in pain, he doesn't look much of anything at all, his expression completely blank.

"Eggsy?" Harry takes an involuntary step forward, as if closing the distance between them will help him get a better read on Eggsy. "Are you alright?"

"What- what are you doing here?"

He starts answering something about him preparing dinner, but stops himself. Now is clearly not the time for a poor attempt at humor.

"I- I missed you Eggsy. Immensely. After you left, I realised I was making a mistake and that I was the only one who could decide to come home or not."

He's rewarded for his honesty by the appearance of some emotions on Eggsy's face. If disbelief and confusion can be considered a reward.

He still has enough control on himself not to visibly wince at that. If it's nothing like he imagined their reunion would be like the few times he allowed himself to do so, it's his own fault.

Coming here tonight when Eggsy wasn't expecting him, invading his privacy… He had done it impulsively, without thinking it through.

But Harry had missed him so much and he had just wanted to show Eggsy that he would be there for whenever Eggsy would need him...

And Harry has rarely felt like more of a fool than he does now.

"And I realise now I shouldn't have felt so confident of my welcome back into your life, but believe me when I say I do not expect anything out of tonight. I merely wanted to show you that I care deeply about you and thought you'd like a home-cooked meal upon your return.”

He tries to smile, but he fears he is not very successful.

The silence between grows awkward as Eggsy continues to stare at him, as if he can't still quite believe he's here.

He probably shouldn't be.

He hopes Merlin won't be so mad at him for bothering Eggsy that he won't let him drown his disappointment in a bottle of whisky when he gets back to his place.

“Tonight’s obviously not a good time.” Harry finally breaks the silence between them when it becomes clear that Eggsy isn't going to. “I’ll leave you to it, I’m sure you want to rest. Merlin can tell you how to reach me. If you want to.”

If he thought letting Eggsy go the last time had been hard, it's nothing compared to what it takes for him to walk away now.

He wants nothing more than to drop on his knees in front of Eggsy and beg him to stay.

He won't do it though. Can't do it.

It's the last thing Eggsy needs tonight. Harry won't force him to make a decision he's had no time to think over.

And anyway, he had meant what he had told Merlin at the airport. He's ready to learn to live with the heartbreak if Eggsy truly wants nothing more to do with him.

Before he can go past Eggsy however, a hand comes to grab at his elbow, the hold so light that he could easily break it if he wanted to.

He doesn't want to.

"Don't go." The words are barely more than a whisper but Harry is so attentive to everything that Eggsy does that he still hears them above the thundering of his own heartbeat. “Don’t go, please. Just stay. I want you to stay. Please, stay with me.”

He says more, Harry can feel his lips moving against his shoulder as he all but crushes Eggsy to him in a hard embrace and if Eggsy cares, he's got a poor way of showing it with how he's all but clinging to Harry's sweater and oh, Harry will never let him go, he's not making that mistake ever again.

“As long as you want me to. I’m not going anywhere.” He promises against Eggsy's ear, meaning the words like he's never meant anything before in his life.

*

It will take a long time before Harry has mapped and catalogued Eggsy's body as thoroughly as he wants to. Much longer than a lazy morning spent in bed together. Hopefully a whole lifetime.

In the afternoon when Harry leaves the bed to prepare them a very late brunch, Eggsy follows him in the kitchen and all but demands to be put to help. Harry can't bring himself to mind having his plans for brunch in bed ruined when it means he gets to kiss Eggsy every time they bump into each other. He doesn't remember them having such trouble before.

Turns out, feeding each other is quite the messy business. But it's also the most fun he's had in a long time and Harry doesn't care about sticky fingers as long as Eggsy's laughter rings in his ears.

They don't spend the whole week in bed, though Harry does give it a valiant attempt.

But more importantly, he makes good on his promise.

He stays.

[winryofresembool]

Edwin one-shot: Starry Night

A/N: Merry (belated) Christmas, @theothardus, and sorry about the lateness! I am your Secret Santa! You mentioned you liked Edwin and Christmas and fluff, so I sort of combined all those things. Since I’m trying to keep this fic as canon ‘verse as possible, I made up another (very Christmas like) holiday, called the Starry Night. The name comes from the game Harvest Moon Sunshine Island, and it was suggested to me by the lovely @criis55 who has had to listen to me rant about this fic a LOT (sorry about that)! I hope you’ll enjoy :3 (and don’t forget to leave ‘em comments!)

@fullmetalsecretsanta

Words: 2277

Relationship: Edwin 

genre: fluff

warnings: none

The traditional Winter Solstice holiday, often called the Starry Night by the inhabitants of Amestris, was drawing near. Even the small town of Resembool was bubbling of excitement as everyone was preparing to spend time with their loved ones, buying a presents and tons of food, and decorating their homes. Some people were even competing on who managed to put the most dazzling lights on their yards, annoying their neighbors.

One of the annoyed people was Edward Elric, who had never been a huge fan of Starry Night. When asked why he didn’t like the holiday, he claimed it had become way too commercial, making people forget what the day was really about: spending time with their families and friends. Those who knew Ed better, though, suspected that his dislike for Starry Night stemmed from his childhood; since his mother died and father left, he and Al had always spent the day alone, studying ways to bring their mother back instead of joining the girl and her grandmother in the yellow house near them. Every year Winry asked, yet they didn’t appear until over 10 years later, when they had finally finished their journey to get their bodies back.

This time the reason for Ed’s annoyance was a gift he was supposed to purchase. Earlier that day, Pinako, Winry and the Elric brothers had decided that this year each would get only one present. Al had suggested they write their names on a piece of paper, put them into a hat and draw someone else’s name from it, buying the gift for the person whose name they got. Ed had ended up getting Winry’s name, but something about Al’s demeanor when he saw Ed’s reaction to his gift recipient told him that the younger Elric might have planned it from the beginning. He didn’t have any proof of it, though.

Lately, Al had been hinting often that Ed should finally make his first move, claiming he totally knew what was going on between his big brother and their childhood friend, but Ed had tried to ignore the comments. If Ed was honest, it wasn’t that he didn’t know that his feelings towards his automail mechanic weren’t quite brotherly, but it was different to know it than to act on it. What if Winry didn’t answer to his feelings? What if he’d embarrass himself in front of her? What if he ruined their friendship? He wasn’t ready to take that risk especially since Winry hadn’t been sending him any signals of being interested in him… Or that’s what Ed thought, at least, because he could be quite oblivious when it came to other people’s feelings. Had he paid more attention, he might have noticed how wrong he was.

Now, the biggest question was: what should he give Winry? First, he had tried asking her if there was anything she needed from the town as he’d be going there to do some shopping, but she had simply stared at him with confusion, telling him new screws would be great. They weren’t an appropriate present in Ed’s opinion (she did deserve something better, after all), so as he made his way to the town, he still no idea what to buy. Usually, he would have asked Al to come with him, but his pride had won. That pride couldn’t accept that Al would probably pick something Winry would prefer over his present. Besides, he knew Al wouldn’t stop throwing sly remarks about his possible feelings for Winry, so for the sake of his mental health, he decided to go alone.

Ed hadn’t picked the best day to go shopping because unfortunately, everyone else was doing their last-minute Starry Night preparations as well. The shops were crowded and played holiday music loudly from their speakers, making his head ache. Not just that, nothing he saw seemed inspiring enough.

He could have gotten her a piece of clothing; she seemed to love the hoodie he had been wearing on Al and his return day, but he didn’t know her size and was nervous he would accidentally pick something she wouldn’t like. He was aware that their tastes were very different, after all. She liked cute things, he liked skulls and dragons. He fully gave up in the idea when the salesman at the clothes store heard he wanted to get something for a girl and suggested he get her underwear because what girl wouldn’t like that? Ed wasn’t an idiot, he knew Winry would throw a wrench at him faster than he could say “alchemy” if he did that. Besides, Ed found that particular department slightly intimidating, and the last thing he needed in the middle of a busy town was the idea of Winry in only those pieces… And so he ended up leaving the store rather quickly.

He also considered giving Winry something practical. She would probably appreciate a bucket of wrenches? That was better than screws, right? Winry always lost the old ones carrying them all around the house, so it would probably be useful? But then again, he didn’t enjoy the idea of Winry throwing those same wrenches at him, so he should probably get something that didn’t hurt so much if he ended up annoying her again. Which he probably would. The screwdrivers didn’t feel like a lot safer option. Books were useful, but if he was honest, he didn’t really know which mechanics books Winry already had and which she considered relevant to her interests, so he should have figured that out first. And with the Starry Night already happening in a few days, he didn’t have time for that.

Next up were the food stalls, and Ed stopped there for a good moment. Food was something they both enjoyed, but Ed could hear Al’s voice in his head saying that he should get Winry something more personal. Chocolate would be too lame, even though Ed didn’t understand why anyone would refuse a good chocolate bar. Apple pie was out of the question too, since Granny had already promised to bake one, and it would be weird if he baked one too.

Once Ed had walked past the stalls, he was ready to give up. Just when he was about to leave the market place, someone yelled after him: “Oi! I know that expression! You look like someone who hasn’t found the right gift for a loved one. I think I can help you.”

“Can you, really?” Ed asked sarcastically but decided to follow the man into his shop either way.

The man owned a jewelry store, selling products expensive enough to make Ed’s antenna twitch even though he did have a good amount of money in his pocket from his state alchemist days. At first he was certain he would not buy anything from there, but then the store owner asked: “who are you planning to get this present for?”

“A… friend…” Ed answered with hesitation, not really knowing how to describe Winry and his relationship. Truthfully, it was much more complicated than “just friends”, but this stranger didn’t need to know that. Ed decided to add: “… who’s also my automail mechanic.”

“A guy?” the man asked, assuming a mechanic must have been a man. “I’m sure we’ll have something for gu…” “No, no, not a guy!” Ed got angry. “She’s a she and she’s the goddamn best automail mechanic in this country, so don’t you go assuming…!”

“OK, calm down! I got your point,” the man tried to reassure the angry young man. “A mechanic, you say? Someone donated this a little while ago.” He pointed at something by the shop window. “Do you think she’d like it?”

Ed found himself staring at a small silver locket that had a wrench engraved on it, and in the middle of it there was one tiny stone; an aquamarine resembling the color of Winry’s eyes.

“I could see that…” Ed said, surprised he had managed to find something so fitting. “Is that expensive?”

“Funny you should ask… Normally, I would put a very high price on this because it’s 100 per cent silver, but its old owner told me that if this locket would make its new owner happy, that’s all she’d ask for. So, to listen to her wish, I’m gonna give it for a very reasonable price if you give it a good home.”

“Really? How much is it?” Ed asked, now genuinely curious.

The man told him the price, and Ed decided it was worth it. He was also told he could put something into the locket for an extra value, and suddenly an idea started to form in his head.

…

It was finally the Starry Night, and after a good dinner, the gifts were exchanged in the Rockbell-Elric household. Pinako opened hers first, and not surprisingly, it was a bottle of whiskey (how had Winry gotten that, Ed wanted to know, since people weren’t buy stronger alcohol drinks in Amestris until they were 21. And she wasn’t even 17 yet!) and a new pack of cards for her games as the old ones started to get rather worn. Al’s gift was a living being; Pinako had gotten him a kitten from the litter of neighbor’s cat, and Ed eyed it suspiciously for moment, before finally accepting that maybe it was time for Al to get one. As long as he’d take good care of it! Even the old Den had accepted the cat so there was nothing he could do to deny this from his brother. Ed himself had gotten an “ugly” sweater from Al, with skulls, and to Ed’s horror, hearts (the cute looking, not realistic), on it. He still put it on, smirking widely, before it was time for Winry to open her present.

Ed’s smirk turned into a nervous one as she started ripping the gift wrap from the package. He had decided to play a little prank on her, putting the small locket box into a big box under a lot of newspaper, but as he watched her reactions, he started to regret it. She looked quite upset when it started seeming like there was no present at all in the box, but finally she found what she was looking for.

“What’s this?” she stared at the present a bit nervously before opening it. Her breath got caught in her throat when she saw the locket Ed had bought from the jewelry shop.

“Wow, this is not what I was expecting…” she finally said, her eyes shining with the locket. “Ed, it’s really pretty!”

“I’m glad you like it, but it isn’t the only thing I got for you… Open that locket.” Ed poked his finger at the little lock the gift had.

After admiring the silver wrench on the locket for a while, she opened it and found…

“My earrings!!! I thought you had lost them because you never gave them back to me! And… and… a picture of us! Aww, look at how small we were… I think this was before your mother… And did you carve this text yourself?” She noticed the “thank you” carved into the metal that reminded her of Ed’s state alchemist watch. A wide smile rose on her face as she took the gift in.

“I did.” Ed rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I feel we haven’t properly thanked you for everything you’ve for us… So this is for that. Also, there’s one more thing… Look behind the photo.”

Winry took the photo from its place and noticed there was a tiny letter behind it. She moved closer to the fire to read it, not noticing that Ed was blushing next to her.

“Winry,

Thank you for always being there for us, even though that must have been hard sometimes. I know I can be one hell of a brick when I get to that mood. So sorry about that.

Thanks for getting me back to my feet when it was nearly impossible. I don’t know where I’d be without your automail. Not here, for sure.

Thanks for giving us a reason to come back home. For being an amazing friend, and more… I guess we should finally talk about that topic soon. That’s what Al keeps saying to me.

I hope this locket reminds you that you are our, my favorite gearhead, now and always.”

There were tears in Winry’s eyes when she stopped reading, and Ed nearly started panicking:

“Wow, please don’t cry! Tell me those are tears of joy instead of… the others?”

“Yes, stupid, they are tears of joy. Come here.”

Winry extended her arms to hug Ed who had sat down next to her and whispered into his ear.

“That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me… thank you so much… this is an amazing present… I don’t know what to say…” she laughed awkwardly and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. Ed helped her to put the locket around her neck and the earrings in her ears.

“It looks nice,” he said, and she simply nodded. They didn’t even notice the other two snickering at their actions.

Once she finally calmed down enough to think straight, she added quietly: “Oh, and about that thing we need to talk about… Join me here once the others have gone to bed.”

Ed felt nervous for a moment, not knowing what to expect from that conversation, but then Winry squeezed his hand and gave him a smile that reassured him. He had a feeling this was shaping up to be the best Starry Night he had ever had.

[rox-the-proxy]

Of (Not So) Far away Places & Hope

"Are you two out of your minds!? Do you realize running off like that out into the plains and without your mounts is dangerous!? Suicide even!"

"Now, Now Eraqus. Don't be so hard on them. Vanitas knows these plains like the back of his hand. He knows where is safe and where it's dangerous."

It was odd to see the two Tribe leaders arguing like that. Vanitas usually was used to seeing Eraqus the voice of reason and calm. After all, he was a kind man, kept a level head most if not all of the time. He was understanding and forgave easily. It was in his nature, and it's what made him easier to talk to verses Xehanort who usually, was calm also but he was more... aggressive and didn't give second chances often. However it seemed that Vanitas had pushed his luck a little to far this time around. He hung his head low, hands folded behind his back. Terra being in the same position. He had suggested that perhaps they take a walk around the plains but leave their mounts behind.

He figured it would be a good way for the two to get to know each other better, considering they would be married soon. And it was a good way to show Terra around his Tribe's territory as well. Turns out, this backfired on them because soon he had Isa, Lea, Luxlord and Xigbar on their Allos suddenly surround them and escort them back to the villa. It was embarrassing to say the least, Vanitas had gotten into many situations were he would need the Allo riders to escort him back home whenever he wandered to far away from the Villa. And this time he had taken Terra with him and potentially put him in danger. He knew his home plains well and knew where to stay away from, but clearly that didn't matter. At least to Tribe Leader Eraqus.

"You are far to kind to him, Xehanort. He needs to understand he can't go putting the lives of those around him in danger like that. The other tribes would have picked him and Terra off whenever a opportunity like that strikes. You know this." Vanitas heard his tribe leader sigh. He could just imagine the man nodding, the raven bit his lip tightly at this.

"I apologise, Tribe leaders. I take full responsibility of this. It wasn't right for me to put Terra at risk like that. Forgive me." Vanitas said, being sure to keep his head bowed.

"Now hold on, Vanitas." Terra spoke, which caused the raven to look up at him in confusion. The brunette looked annoyed if his glare at the two older men in front of them was anything to go by. "Vanitas and I are old enough to take care of our selves. Hypo and Ash both were at a distance that they could hear us whistle for them if we were in an kind of danger. It's not right to pin the all the blame on him. I made the decision to accept the offer and go with him. Was it not you, Tribe Leader Eraqus, that Vanitas and i go take a stroll in the plains in the first place?"

"With your mounts, not alone and on foot!"

"I am old enough to make these decisions on my own! If Vanitas and I are going to run these soon to be one Tribe, then you need to start understanding we are no longer children. We don't need our hands to be held to go on a walk."

Vanitas stared at the brunette and looked between him and Eraqus. He wasn't used to seeing, much less hearing Terra sound so angry and annoyed at Eraqus of all people. He had nothing but love and respect for his father, Terra had shown that many times. Vanitas envied that relationship they shared as he and Xehanort weren't close like that at all. But to see Terra standing up for him and arguing with his tribe Leader, his Father; it was touching as much as it gave him anxiety. Hypo, bless the soul of his beloved T-Rex seemed to notice his sudden spike in anxiety as the said creature stood up before taking two steps and lowering his head down next to the raven.

The group had froze at the sudden movement and watched the carnivore's movements carefully. Vanitas didn't seem to take notice before he instinctively leaned against him, though he didn't dare lift his head up and look at the angered tribe Leaders in the eye. That was a big 'no' in his tribe. And Xehanort had made sure that Vanitas remembered that rule well. A low, deep grumbling sound escaped Hypo, one that Terra knew was a sound of comfort, not a threatening one. "Terra, we will speak of this later." Eraqus said, turning sharply on his heel and storming off, Xehanort following behind as he gave the two a final nod that they were dismissed.

Vanitas sighed heavily. "Terra, you didn't have to-"

"I was going to let you take the complete blame for something that I agreed to do. I mean, come on it's not like we ran into other Tribes or even untamed creatures." Terra said as he gave a shrug as both turned and started to make their way twords the nearby coast line.

"But you never fight with Tribe Leader Eraqus. I don't want to be the reason you two start to not get along." He mumbled as they both stopped just a few paces away from the shore. The raven sat down on the sand, his T-Rex laying next to him before Terra sat next to him, his own mount laying next to Vanitas'and both easily falling into a light doze. The golden eyed male sighed as he began to fiddle with the wooden charm around his neck. A nervous habit he picked upuo since receiving it from Terra, and something that Lea, Isa and even Luxlord found rather funny. "We don't need more added tension between the Tribes or tension between members of the same tribe. Don't you think?"

Terra hummed, taking a moment to think over the question as he leaned back on his hands. "My father is just worried about us is all. He isn't actually angry. So don't worry, you didn't step on anyone's toes and you didn't get on his bad side." He said, gently shoving the raven against his mount which got him a small chuckle. Terra smiled at him as he turned his gaze back to the water coming in and out, taking sand with it all while pushing some back as well.

It had become common to see Terra here these days. With only less then two weeks away from the marriage ceremony it seemed the two were spending as much time as they could before they became to busy to see each other. They could be found do anything these days, often times they either took Ash and Hypo out and walked along the coast line until the sun started to set. Or they would lead hunting parties together and simply enjoying each other's company. It was a nice change compared to back when Terra wouldn't even look at the Raven with an expression of any kind of warmth.

Now that wasn't the case. When the two would spend time together, it was smiles, sly looks and even challenging smirks all around. It was a drastic improvement to their relationship. "So, those two men that came to get us?" Terra asked, looking at the Raven who looked at him then sighed.

"Xigbar and Luxlord are part of the Allo group. They're a scout group that we use for hunting and or expanding potential new territory. It's complicated with those two though. More so Xigbar then Lux." He waved his hand in a dismissive manner before leaning forward and began to draw random patterns in the sand in front of him. "So...two more weeks....are you nervous?"

"Hmm....a little. But I think that's because I don't want to mess up my promise words." He said looking at the smaller male. "Are you?" He got a small nod in response. "What are you nervous about?"

Vanitas gave a curt shrug. "I'm not sure... everything? My tribe is expecting a lot out of me in two weeks. And well, what if I can't meet their expectations? Or your Tribe's expectations? I know that my tribe isn't happy that I'm moving to go live with you and your tribe but..." He trailed off for a moment, he looked at his mount who now had opened his red colored eyes to meet his own golden ones. Slowly the raven placed his hand on the creature's muzzle. "After the ceremony Isa and Lea will be leaving to the mountain tribes in the east and I'll have no reason to stay here..."

Terra frowned, Vanitas looked stressed out. He knew that the golden eyed male had a lot to prove to his Tribe and his own. After all, Xehanort had let it be known just a few days ago that he was not his biological son and that he had found Vanitas along with Hypo near death. Terra's own tribe had been shocked and angry that they had been lied to about it. Same with Vanitas' tribe. It was one of the rare times the tribes agreed on something. He just wished it wasn't over the fact that Vanitas was this a-stranged person with some messed up creature as a mount who brought nothing but bad luck and death with him. It was depressing to see him only be so close to two people in his entire tribe. He couldn't even imagine how lonely it was for him, which one would think wouldn't be possible with a Tribe as large as his but, Vanitas was proof of otherwise.

"Hey," Terra said gently nudging the other male who then looked up at him. "Don't worry. Despite everything my tribe will accept you with open arms. It's not like you would be the first outsider or stranger that our tribe has taken in. You'll fit in just fine." He said, trying to reassure the clearly nervous male who stared at him for a moment then smiled, letting out a soft chuckle before nodding.

After that, the two fell silent again, merely sitting on the ground, listening to the waves of the ocean and the soft breathing coming from their mounts as they laid together napping peacefully. Terra looked at two Carnivores and couldn't help but smile softly. Ash; his own Rex had taking a strong liking to Hypo, despite his massive size and nasty temper when Vanitas took him on tribe raids and hunts. The two Carnivores got along great and it was nice to see that they wouldn't have to worry about them killing each other.

But still, as much as Terra loved his tribe and as much as he knew about how serious this ceremony was; part of him wished they could have gotten to know each other better and actually fall in love first. But in order for that to happen, they would need to leave their Tribes. And, to tell the truth that didn't sound like a bad idea. At least not to Terra. He looked at the Golden eyed male and found himself wondering if Vanitas ever had these thoughts. And how willing would he be to actually be to go through with running away to somewhere far away.

"Terra? Are you okay?"

The blue eyed brunette blinked and nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay. But I was thinking about something. About how I wish this could have gone differently."

"Differently? How?"

"As crazy as it sounds, I sort of wish we had more time to spend together. To actually fall in love and build up to the marriage ceremony. Not just...be thrown into it without our own consent. You know?" He asked, looking away from the younger male now. "And it sounds really, really tempting to just...pack our stuff and run away. Doesn't it? To go somewhere far away, start over and do this right. Without anyone telling us how to go about this." The bigger male sighed in defeat, as he allowed his eyes to fall close. It was wishful thinking, it wouldn't be that easy and he could only imagine how bad the consequences of them running away together would be.

"Let's do it." At that, Terra found his eyes snapping open and turning his head to look at Vanitas who was standing up now, but his eyes were trained on the ocean in front of them. "Let's run away. Far away from our tribes. Let's start over with this relationship. We can start off as just friends and work our way from there." He said, the male now turned to face the brown haired male.

It was shocking to see the look of hope and desperation on Vanitas' face. Terra knew that Vanitas didn't really like his Tribe aside from three people in it. He knew that he felt like an outcast; like he didn't belong here. But it was only now, seeing how desperate he looked to get away from the here did he realize just how deep those feelings ran. Slowly he stood up and gave the raven a smile, he reached out and took the other's smaller hand into his own.

"Yeah. Okay. Let's go."

And they went, that same night. Terra only leaving behind a letter to his friends from his Tribe. Vanitas, well he actually invited Isa and Lea to come with them. A offer they quickly took up. They didn't know the reaction of their Tribes come morning when they were long gone from the area. But honestly, Vanitas didn't care and he was sure Terra didn't care either. With their leaving, Vanitas hoped it would be the start of something better. Something much more real.

[shireness-says]

Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?

Summary:  Emma's written for as long as she's had words in her head, but some songs she holds closer than others. When you've left a bit of your soul on the page, it's hard to let anyone in to read them. ~2.5K. Rated T for language. Also on AO3.

Previous Rockstar!Emma installments: Maybe I Won’t Die Alone, Second Verses and Happy Beginnings, Lullaby, Nobody’s Business

A/N: Another snippet in my Rockstar!Emma AU verse - definitely go read those first. This particular piece spiraled out from a passing reference in the original to Killian finding a box of piano ballads when he helps Emma move.

Super thanks to @snidgetsafan, my phenomenal beta. Honestly, she’s the best, even when I throw unexpected stuff like this at her when I’m supposed to be working on Playing the Part.

I listen to a LOT of Ingrid Michaelson music when writing this verse, and a lot of those lyrics have found their way into this fic. I obviously own nothing - I just get Emma feelings listening. The title is pulled from "Breakable"; lyrics in this fic pulled from (in order of appearance, and one song per section): "Men of Snow", "Sort of" "Are We There Yet", "The Chain", and "Overboard".

I also maybe possibly made a Spotify playlist of all the songs that I imagine in this series, like for the karaoke and stuff, and will post that if demanded.

Tagging those I know particularly enjoy this series: @kmomof4, @shady-swan-jones, @mythologicalmango, @onceuponaprincessworld, @effulgentcolors. Holler at me if you ever want to be tagged in stuff.

Without further ado, enjoy!

Emma’s written for as long as she’s had words in her head.

She doesn’t have any grand intended purpose for them, no dreams of becoming an author or a poet or whatever else one does with their words, but they’re there and they’re hers and true ownership of anything is hard to come by in the childhood she’s living. They morph from poetic phrases and fragments of stories to songs in middle school when a particularly kind music teacher instructs Emma in the basics of piano during study hall, and Emma finally has the format to match all those bits and pieces of language running through her head.

She’s not even particularly organized about it in those early days, pouring out her feelings onto tiny scraps of paper and the edges of notebook pages and napkins and whatever else is on hand when she needs an outlet, needs to turn all her feelings into verse before they eat her alive. Given enough time, all those scraps - well, at least the ones she saves, the ones she’s actually satisfied with for their own merit instead of as cathartic release - form a layer of creative detritus at the bottom of her backpack as she’s shuffled from family to group home and back again.

Ruth Nolan is something else, however, something Emma can recognize even at 15. Ruth seems to see everything, eyes almost too kind and understanding to be real. It shouldn’t really surprise Emma that her latest foster mother - a woman trying to live up to that title in more than just name - sees her little hobby, if you could call it that, as well.

One day you will go away…

The older woman shows up with a notebook and a hatbox, the latter carrying that particular smell Emma associates with the antique stores Ruth likes so much.

“I thought you might like someplace you could keep all your pieces together,” Ruth says in that tone of voice Emma’s learning means she’s afraid she’s overstepping Emma’s boundaries. “Only if you want, of course. And then a pretty notebook too, for your writing or journaling or just school, if you prefer. What girl doesn’t need a pretty notebook?”

Emma’s wary to accept the gift - gifts are easy to take back when she’s inevitably sent back, so there’s no sense in getting attached - but she thinks Ruth might mean it genuinely. “Thanks,” she says, attempting a smile. “That’s a good idea.” Even if she’s hesitant to accept the gift, Ruth’s too good to hurt her feelings, so Emma makes the effort all the same.

“Oh, it’s nothing, my girl,” Ruth excuses, cheeks pinking as she busily fusses with the pillows on Emma’s bed, almost like she didn’t expect even that small praise. After a few moments, she seems to run out of things to do in that direction, straightening with a sigh to meet Emma’s hesitant smile. “You’ll let me know if you need anything else, sweetie?”

It strikes Emma for the first time that Ruth may be just as nervous about this working out as she is, but is trying so hard all the same to make Emma feel like a part of something. “Yeah, I will,” she reassures, before taking it a brave step further. “I thought maybe I’d come down in a few, if you or David wanted to play a card game or something?”

“I’d love that,” Ruth beams, sending a little shoot of happiness and pride through Emma that she was able to do that. “No rush, sweetheart, you come down whenever you’re ready,” she assures on her way out.

Just one more line, Emma thinks, quickly finishing out her thought before putting her pen aside to join the Nolans downstairs.

It takes months and months, but Emma figures out that Ruth Nolan is a no-backsies kind of woman, both with her gifts and her love. The adoption papers are certainly proof of that sentiment, though Emma has moved all her snippets into the hatbox even before everything’s official. She’s finally found a place of her own in this world - it’s time her words do too.

———

My love’s too big for you my love…

The words are a release, a way to express everything she’s feeling when faced with her first real heartbreak at the hands of her cheating ex-boyfriend. They’re never meant to be seen by anyone - hell, Emma’s not sure that she herself wants to read them a second time, bear witness to that pure expression of pain again. Yes, she’s fucking pissed at Neal, and no, she doesn’t want to rekindle things or remotely regret their breakup after finding him in bed with another woman, but she loved him, in that awful, consuming, first-love kind of way. And that doesn’t go away instantly, even despite her anger, even when given the ample evidence that it should. Writing it all down, Emma’s long since learned, is the first step in processing and moving forward.

Tell me what to do to take away the you…

What she doesn’t plan on, however, is Belle spotting the words where Emma’s left them on her dorm room’s desk when the brunette swings by with an impromptu question about their creative writing assignment. It’s far too late to hide them - the time for that was before Belle knocked, honestly, and any efforts now will just make it look like Emma has something interesting to hide. Even if Belle is a sweet girl, one that Emma doesn’t think would pry if she just snatched the page back, there’s no closing the barn door after the horse has already escaped.

“Is this for class?” Belle asks, understandably confused. It’s fairly obviously not a school assignment, since they haven’t been asked to complete anything in verse.

“No, it’s… a personal project, I guess,” Emma half-heartedly explains. “Just a hobby.”

Belle raises her eyebrows at that. “It’s really good. Is it a song?”

“Could be,” Emma shrugs. “I mean, I kind of wrote it like that, but I’ve never actually sat down and figured out the music that goes with it, so…”

“Still, it’s impressive,” Belle comments. “I’d go see a band who was putting out stuff like this.”

“Thanks,” Emma mumbles, feeling her cheeks start to flush pink.

“Thanks for not snatching it out of my hand immediately,” Belle grins. “Do you have any others you’d be willing to share?”

Looking back, Emma thinks the band was born that night - or at least the idea for one. Either way, before the year is out, they’re practicing with two other acquaintances-turned-bandmates in university practice rooms, trying to put together sounds and words that people will actually want to listen to.

(The hatbox remains sealed, however; certain things are just too private to put in front of the world.)

———

They say that home is where the heart is

I guess I haven’t found my home…

She probably should have figured Killian would find the hatbox when she asked him to help her unpack the boxes in the office - a task she’s been putting off for an almost embarrassingly long time. If there’s one thing she’s learned, it’s that Killian Jones is meticulous in everything he does, and helping Emma unpack her belongings and god-awful stacks of files is no exception.

“What’re these, then?” he teases, flashing Emma that grin that he thinks is charming (and Emma sometimes allows herself to find charming as well).

“Oh, you know. Just some stuff I’ve written,” she says, as vaguely as possible. It’s not that she wants to hide this box from him, or that she cares that he’s found all her scraps of songs, but there’s a lot of memories in that box, years of the feelings she hides so well behind her public facade, and they honestly don’t have the time to go through it all. Jury’s still out on whether Emma has the inclination to do so in the first place.

“I don’t recognize these,” he says, frowning in confusion as he scans the messy scrawl dancing across the pages. “Are they from the next album?” His face suddenly lights up with an excitement more characteristic of a young boy, not a grown-ass adult whose best friend will gladly give him a sneak peak of the drafts for the next album if he ever asks.

“No, God no,” she snorts. “Those will never see the light of day.”

“Whyever not?” he asks. The defensive part of Emma reads it as a demand, but her logic and ears at least are able to process his tone as actually pretty polite, though curious. “These are really good.”

Emma shrugs. “Not really our style. Those are meant to be just the piano and maybe an acoustic guitar.” They’re excuses, she realizes, and though Killian seems to be happy enough to take them at face value, Emma feels a twinge of guilt about not giving him more. He’s her best friend, after all; their trust is an implicit thing, strong in the knowledge that they’ll never judge one another. With that in mind, Emma scratches out a small hole in her walls to hand him more. “They’re… personal,” she elaborates, though that was probably already obvious. “I mean, those in the box were my emotional outlet for a while. They’re just too… close, if that makes sense? I don’t really want to share them with everyone.”

Killian drops the slips back into the box quickly, hastening to seal everything back up. “I’m sorry, love, I didn’t mean to pry,” he apologizes.

He really doesn’t need to. “Killian, it’s fine,” she smiles. “You’re not ‘everyone’. Or whatever. Something less corny.”

“Too late, Swan,” he replies, that smug look trying to creep across his face. “I’ll treasure those words forever.”

Emma rolls her eyes at him, but truthfully, she doesn’t particularly mind. She may have been hesitant to show Killian that little bit of herself, but it ultimately wasn’t nearly as hard or painful as she feared. Then again, things with Killian have always been easy - easy and comfortable.

She can’t help but think that maybe, now that they both live in the same city, they can finally explore that something that’s always been simmering just below the surface of their friendship.

They say you’re really not somebody

Until somebody else loves you

Well I am waiting to make somebody somebody soon…

———

Emma Swan isn’t, historically, a wallower, but it was a fucking stupid fight, and looking back, she’s entirely to blame. Or, at the very least, she can’t blame Killian for being frustrated - “her fault” makes it sound like she was out looking for an argument. But at the very least, she sees and understands why he was upset in the first place.

It’s so stupid in retrospect, the events that led to their fight. They’d run into an acquaintance of Emma’s, one of the sound techs that’s working with them on the next album, and it fell to Emma to make introductions - and she’d fumbled. Badly. To the tune of “This is my… this is Killian.” And yes, they were walking down the street with arms thrown around each other, and the techie totally knew that they were together, but still. Not a good thing that Emma’s still too screwed up to even call Killian her boyfriend.

“Don’t you think that hurts, Emma?” he asks later, begs later after she demands to know why he’s being so quiet. “We’ve been together for three and a half months, and I know you’re committed to this relationship - at least when it’s just us - but it’s like a little knife to the heart when you can’t or won’t let others in on that little secret, like this is something to be ashamed of.” He runs a hand over his face in frustration, before shaking his head and turning towards the door of her apartment. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do this tonight. I’ll call you later.” His hand is on the knob when he turns back for the last word. “Think about what you really want from this, Emma, because I won’t drag you into something you’re not 100% on board with.”

And then he leaves Emma to sort out the pain currently coursing through her chest.

I’ll never say that I’ll never love

But I don’t say a lot of things

(and you my love are gone)

Emma knows that she can’t fix herself overnight, can’t suddenly push past all the emotional scarring that’s caused all this blasted hesitance. But what she can do is try harder to show Killian how she feels, even if she can’t say the words yet.

With that in mind, she sits down to write another song, one whose words have just started popping into her head. The Lost Girls are planning to do a short surprise set at the Jolly Roger three weeks from now - maybe this can be added to the set list, this song just for Killian.

———

It’ll take more than just a breeze to make me…

Fall overboard just so you can catch me

“Writing me another love song, Swan?” Killian asks cheekily from where he leans in the doorway.

“You say that like you’ve been deprived,” Emma dryly shoots back. “And I know for a fact that’s not true.”

“Ah, well, a man can dream,” he teases, crossing the room to embrace Emma from behind, chin coming to rest on her head. “In all seriousness, what are you working on there?”

“Something for Ruby.”

Killian snorts at that pronouncement. “Oh, that seems premature. We just introduced her to Graham a few weeks ago, love.”

“Yeah, but I’ve got a feeling,” Emma insists. “They really hit it off the other week, and they both seemed smitten.”

“Are you sure you’re alright, Emma? Or is this some kind of body swap with your sister-in-law?” her husband teases, jokingly feeling her forehead for a fever. “Quick, tell me something only Emma would know!”

“Very funny,” Emma deadpans. “Just you wait, I’ll be singing this at their reception one day.”

“Whatever you say, my love,” he placates, dropping a kiss to the crown of her head before tilting his own in curiosity. “I don’t think I’ve seen the hatbox in a good long while,” he observes.

“Haven’t needed it lately,” she shoots right back. “What can I say, I’m becoming more emotionally healthy, or something.” It’s a quip, for certain, but there’s a certain amount of truth to it; Emma hasn’t had to turn to the hatbox and pouring her emotions out into words no one will ever read because she has Killian instead, who’s always there to listen when she’s sad or frustrated. She likes to think she offers him the same in return.

“I don’t think you were ever so bad as you make it sound,” Killian says, trying to temper her words, “but I’m glad to hear that you don’t need to depend on that outlet so much anymore.”

“Only because of you, babe,” Emma replies cheekily, meaning every word despite her teasing tone.

Killian snorts a laugh all the same, before craning around to drop a smacking kiss on her lips. “You’ll have to write me a song to prove it!” he calls over his shoulder as he wanders back out into the living room.

And who knows? Maybe she just might.

And I never thought I’d be the type to fall, to fall…

[miitzwrites]

Not a passing fascination (ereri) pt. I

Hi! I wrote this a while ago, but didn’t post it here. I’m still unsure, but I might continue this small fic. It’s ereri/riren, lots of angst and set in a post canon divergent verse. Enjoy! (Ao3)

Chap I. Farewell

The fight was brutal. One by one, soldiers from both sides fell. The pained screams, the fury, and desperation resounded through the battlefield. Blood was dripping from everyone’s hands, even from those who swore not to kill a human being. Some of them were young, but they already carried with the death of their fellow soldiers, and of the people they loved. They couldn’t do anything but keep going on, and wait for the best outcome, grabbing their farewell letters against their chest, letters that the soldiers exchanged the previous days, while they prepared for the last mission, that would decide the fate of humanity.

Ooo

“Mikasa doesn’t want to be a squad leader during this mission. She said she’d be with us, and gave her place over to Jean.”

“Tsk.”

After all the ups and downs in their relationship, things had started to sort them out by themselves. In the battlefield, they were partners, more than just a superior and his charge. Both of them had lost a lot dur8ng this life, has sacrificed part of their lives for a common objective. But in private, they were equals, lovers, finding a refuge in the arms of the others.

“Levi… what do you want to do once the war is over?” Eren asked, sitting with his back against the headboard, and massaging Levi’s shoulders. Their relationship was different from the beginning, when they seek the company of the other in their bed, almost, as if only with sex could they fill the gaping on their chests. Nowadays, they only needed the presence of the other, the reassurance that they weren’t alone, and that they had a place to crawl back in when the pressure turned out to be too overwhelmed for them. This was enough. This was all the warmth they needed.

“You’re so sure that this war will come to an end soon”, replied the Captain, leaning against the chest of his young lover. “What does make you think that it will be a place for me when everything is over?”

“What do you mean”

“If the war ends, I will be an ugly reminder of everything that happened with the Titans and the people from Marley. The higher-ups won’t want me around, and I don’t have a lot of options. I don’t know other than killing, and I’m too old to start my own band in the underground. Besides, I’ve tasted a kind of freedom that I didn’t have before, so I’m not going back down there. I guess I will have to wait for what the Capital and Hange decide.”

Both men fell in silence. Although Eren knew better than to wait for a different answer, it still stung. It hurt him not to know if Levi would include him in his future or not.

“What about you?”

“No one wants to be close to someone who can shift into a titan. They don’t want me now, I doubt that could change. I suppose they will want to get rid of me.”

Abruptly, Levi leaned up, turning around to face Eren, kneeling between his legs. "Don't be an idiot. You're under my watch, and I would never let anyone hurt you".

Eren smiled although a little sadly. There was no one who could hurt him as much as he himself did and his self-destructive thoughts. He pulled Levi closer, burying his face on the Captain's chest. "You know I don't have many years left," Eres whispered, aware of the grudge that he carried on his shoulders, "Thinking about the future helps me soothe the pain albeit little."

Levi clung to him, and after that, they didn't say more.

Oo o

The Titans kept coming, moved by one of the Marleans.

Both nations had reached a truce, less than four months ago. They agree on giving up the power of the Titans and the shifters. Hange and Armin had tried to create a cure, an antidote that could reverse Ymir's curse. But they couldn't foresee that most of the combatants were so weak, that during their last transformation, their titan's body exploded with heat waves, being burned alive in an instant.

This affront was considered as an act of way, and both nations prepared for the attack.

Ooo

Eren knew that they would leave next week to the battlefield, though, deep inside, he knew it would be the last. He hadn't seen Levi since the night they talked about their plans for after the war when Eren understood he had to continue on his own, merely because Levi wasn't contemplating him on his own plans.

He walked to the Commander's office and was about to knock. He wanted to consult a few things in case his body went through the same last phase as the other shifters. He knew that, if he did explode, he had to do it as close as possible to the enemy's territory, having the chance to take with him as many soldiers as he could. Bue Eren stood still when he heard Levi's voice coming from inside the office.

"You know it as well as I do, shitty glasses. When the war is done, we're gonna be disposed of and throw away like old dogs."

"You may be right, but that won't be immediate. We have to reunify our troops, make agreements with the Capital, and with Historia's favor, the impact will be less."

"I don't care. My resignation doesn't have a starting date, but consider it irrevocable."

"And your squad?"

"If they're smart, they will find a better position, or command their own squad."

"What about Eren?" Have you talked to him?"

"He's under my watch until we know for sure that he isn't dying. After that, he can decide. He's young, let him do whatever the hell he wants."

Listening to Levi's impersonal words about Eren, was like a punch in the guts for the young shifter. He didn't have a problem accepting that he fell in love with the Captain a long time ago, and without a doubt, he would run away with him if asked. But the emptiness in his voice broke his heart.

Stupidly, Eren had believed that Levi would love him back, someday.

He returned to his room, where he still slept some nights -when he didn't share the bed with Levi-, and just lied down, wishing for the pain to go away.

Back in the office, Hange took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose, tired of dealing with Levi's stubbornness. "You know what I mean." It wasn't a secret that they had a relationship, though no one dared to say it out loud. The insistent glances, quick touches, and nightly escapades were enough proof.

"I won't tie him to an old man like me. He's young, he will get over me, and if he survives, I hope he finds someone or something better, that truly makes him happy," Levi sighed, leaning against the window, "you know I can't give him what he needs. For fuck's sake, Hang, I don't even know what I'm gonna do when everything is said and done."

"I'm not a fool, man. Your eyes speak for yourselves," when Levi shook his head, Hange knew their conversation was going nowhere. "Well, at least, answer me this. Do you feel the same way for Jaeger?"

Levi nodded softly, and that was enough answer for the Commander.

Ooo

The roar of Eren in his titan form made both side stop instantly, even the titans that were wandering around stopped to put their attention on him as if they were waiting for his next instruction. His steps were slow, but he had a clear goal in mind, near the enemy's front lines, and with him, the Titans followed closely behind. The grunts and howls that left his throat were agonizingly loud as if he were hurting. Everybody knew then that he was dying. The damn cure hadn't worked.

"Eren!" Mikasa screamed, ready to put him out of his titan body, but Hange stopped her, telling her that it was his decision.

Levi could only lift up his hand with his blade, signaling the soldiers to way. And they did until the explosion came, and the hate wave started to dispel.

ooo

Around every corner, one could spot cadets talking in hushed tones, giving their letters to their loved ones, and at times, some would be crying. Eren saw the new recruits about to piss their pants, scared of what was coming, holding their partners. He saw the veterans, drinking together, because they knew by experience, that there was nothing they could do. His squad, the most important people in his life, were together, too, but they saw him as a stranger, so he didn't approach them. It was okay, he wanted to think, if they hated him, they wouldn't be sad when he was gone.

Marley left him severely wounded, mentally more than anything, and by miracle, the only person who didn't reject his company, was Levi.

Mikasa tried, of course, to look after him as she always did, but sometimes, he believed it had more to do with a blind devotion that with a real interest on her part. Armin, well, they barely crossed a word. Zeke was a total stranger to him, so the only person who helps him step out of his loneliness, was Levi. Thus, when he didn't show up in his room or called for him, Eren understood that he had gotten tired of him -probably-. Or, just like he heard him talking to Hange, Levi wanted to end this quickly, and a proper farewell only complicated things between them.

That night, Eren didn't sleep. He stayed on his bed, rolling around or looking through the small window how the moon seemed to shine brightly. It was ironic how one could find beauty in a world full of shit.

Suddenly, the door of his room was opened. He didn't have to look at the door to know who it was, he had become familiar with the quiet but sure steps. Levi took off his bots and then his harness and his cravat. He got under the covers, and laid down behind him, sneaking an arm around him to press his chest against Eren's back. His lips brushed his tanned neck, and he could feel how he tensed under his touch, to the point of putting some distance between them.

"What's wrong? Did I wake you up?"

"I wasn't asleep."

"You should. We're leaving before dawn.

"And you decided it was okay to come now?" Eren's voice was harsh, clearly upset after being practically ignored for days. It wasn't as common as before to see him losing his temper, but under all that bravado and blackness, there was still a child, scared about the future and what it might hold. "Tell me the truth, Levi, what am I to you?" Eren turned around to look at Levi's eyes. And despite his calm expression, there was a hint of surprise in his eyes.

"You're in my charge. You're in my squad. You're my partner", Levi answered, as if that was the obvious thing to say.

Eren, then, sat down, followed by Levi, but then his shoulders started to shake, and an odd sound escaped his throat. Was his laughing? Probably yes, but the fat tears that rolled down his cheeks, told a different story.

"I don't know why I expected something different," said Eren with a cracked voice, willing himself not to break down. "After all these years, after sleeping in your bed for months and being together, I thought that you saw me as something more, something more than another recruit."

"Eren.-"

"No! I don't want to listen to your excuses anymore! I don't want to hear you saying that you're my superior and that this is the most we can have. I don't want you to tell me that you're too old for me. I don't want you to keep my hopes high anymore. I'm so stupid for believing that one day, you would love me in the same way that I do!"

<<Yeah, you're an idiot>>, thought Levi, <<If only you could know for how long I have loved you>>.

At that moment, crying with his heart opened, Eren looked like the young boy that Levi used to find sobbing in his sleep, dreaming with a family that he lost, and suffering from the nightmares that didn't leave him alone. He wanted to comfort him, wanted to brush his long hair and whisper into his ear that everything would be fine. But neither of them had the time for that. If they survived the last battle, Eren would die soon. And selfishly, Levi didn't want to suffer, even if he would give the rest of his life, to see Eren happy again.

"I can't give you more than this, Eren," Levi said, calmy, clutching the sheets to prevent his hands from touching Eren, "I don't know what will happen tomorrow, nor if Hange's serum cured you at all. And I can't tie you when you have a lot to explore and discover."

"Tie me? Why don't you come front and say that you feel that way with me?" No, Levi didn't feel that way. He wanted to be with him, he wanted to love him and protect him in his imperfect way. But he had never been good with words, never was good expressing what he really felt. Levi let people guessing the true meaning of his words, or let Hange, who was the closest person in the SC to know him, to explain his outburst and speeches, and, in the end, he was used to being seen as someone unapproachable and cold.

But this time, he had fucked up. And when he didn't mutter a word, Eren found his answer.

"Get out, Levi. I don't want to force you to spend your free time with someone like me. It causes repulsion, doesn´t it? So I don't want you to kiss me or to hold me, and I don't want you to tell me that you care about me. You reached your goal, you looked after me until the last battle. So please, let me alone."

"Eren..."

"Get the fuck out of my room, Levi!" The authoritative voice of Eren was strong enough to attract the curious glance of Armin, who was turning around the corner to get to his room. He could hear the rummage of clothes and some hushed voices as someone opened the door. It was Levi, who, without turning around, said to Eren: "We're leaving at dawn, Jaeger. Get to Arlet, you will be riding with Hange's squad. Tell Mikasa in case she wants to change places with someone else."

Just as Levi closed the door, Armin hid, but not before witnessing how glassy the eyes of his captain looked.

Xxx

The next morning, Levi was in the stables, brushing the hair of his horse, preparing him for the ride that morning. Despite the fool smell and the poorly cleaned place, he did enjoy taking care of his animal. It was relaxing in a way. He murmured "don't die before me, alright?" and the horse let out a small grunt as if he could understand him.

Footsteps could be heard near him, and he didn't have to turn to look who it was approaching him. He looked over his shoulder, and with a flat expression, asked: "What do you want, Eren?". Said boy was already dressed in his uniform, wearing his gear and his hair was pulled up in a small bun. Without answering his question, Eren grabbed his arm and made him turn around. Before Levi could do something, Eren closed the distance between them, placing a hand against the nape of Levi's neck and the other on his waist, at the same time that he crashed his lips against the Captain's.

Levi responded the kiss with the same intensity, holding tightly on Eren's harnesses that were part of their uniform. He followed Eren's rhythm, wishing to stay like that for a little bit longer, and even wanting to throw him down and made love to his young lover in that very floor (unsanitary as it was). But he couldn't savor the kiss for longer. They pulled apart, with swelled lips and red tinted cheeks, and without another word, Eren took his horse and walked outside.

No one knew that that would be their last farewell.

Ooooo

The heat was suffocating, and the screams of pain from their enemies were heard. A grey cloud was rising up in the skies, and Levi, still with his eyes on the mission, told his tropes to keep moving on. His soldiers didn't react right away, shocked after watching the titan exploding before their eyes.

When the cloud started to clear up, Mikasa was the first person to reach to the inert body of the titan, preparing her swords to pull Eren out of the titan, but it wasn't needed. The flesh of the titan was practically boiling, and as she got closer to the neck, she saw how the head, neck and upper back had exploded. Afraid of what she might find, she walked to the center, where Eren's body should've been laying unconsciously, but instead, she only found what it appeared to be the part of a calf and a foot, burning in the heat of the titan's body, practically carbonized.

A pained scream was let out, and it was foreign to her ears, but the scream was hers. It was Mikasa who was screaming in agony, screaming out the pain of seeing the only family she had left being taken away from her. At that moment, she broke down and cried as she hadn't done it in years.

Levi approached her, and saw the scene, feeling nauseous, but he had to put up a mask, he had to conserve the little composure he had left. He would have time later to mourn him.

"Move, Ackerman, you can cry later," his voice came out rougher than intended. It was a coping mechanism to hide his pain, under layers of anger that no one could see through.

The girl looked up, watching him with hatred. "Fuck you, Levi."

Levi didn't answer. He flew through the skies, fighting and avenging his pain in the poor souls that crossed his path.

That day, humanity won. Paradis was crowned as the winner, but the strongest soldier of humanity had lost his last hope.

[thosewhoruleegypt]

The Pharaoh’s Lotus Garden (1 - 1)

The Pharaoh’s Lotus Garden is a collection of oneshots and drabbles within the TwRE-verse; Ancient Egypt AU. Each can be read separately, but they'll make more sense with context 

Main Story Begins Here!  Also available on AO3~  Previous Chapter - Next Chapter 

Part I; Chapter 1  In which Thief King Bakura convinces Yugi to unlock his cage door  2500 words; rated T; warnings for discussions of suicidal thoughts and/or actions, and for brief mentions of past abuse 

Ryou Bakura was an unmoving lump on the bed, occasionally snoring softly. Thief King Bakura, however, sat staring out at the dungeon hallway with gleaming eyes. The light filtering in from the tiny sliver of window just below the cell's ceiling turned his gray hair to shining silver.

"Evening, little pharaoh-ling. To what do we owe this moonlight visit?"

Yugi shifted uneasily, then sat down outside the cell with a resigned sigh. "I couldn't sleep. And Pharaoh knows to look for me most everywhere else, and I really don't want to talk to him, right now."

"You can talk to me, if you want. Ryou's pretty impossible to wake, once he's out, but I never could stay asleep through the night."

"Thanks... and sorry," Yugi said, sighing. "Sleeplessness wears at you, doesn't it?"

"I'm used to it. In my line of work, you always sleep with one eye open." Bakura grinned at him, and Yugi gave a small smile.

"Fair enough. I really don't feel much like talking, though."

"That's fine, too," Bakura said, leaning back to drag over a bottle of wine. "Have a drink?"

Yugi shrugged; took a mouthful of wine and then passed the bottle back through the bars. "Wine does help with sleeplessness, doesn't it?"

"It does," Bakura said, with a grin. They sat in amicable silence for a moment, and then he said, "You know what else helps?"

"What?"

"Going for a walk."

Yugi gave him an unamused look. "I'm not that easily fooled."

"C'mon," Bakura appealed, spreading his hands. "I just want to stretch my legs a bit."

"No way."

"How big is this luxurious little cell?" Bakura asked, with a motion. "Ten by seven? And as much as I appreciate the bed—which I do, I really do—it kinda cuts down on space."

"..."

"Ryou's getting sick of my pacing. We almost had a fight today, because of it."

"..."

"What damage could I possibly do, with you as escort?"

"A lot, actually..."

"You can cuff me." Bakura held out his wrists willingly.

"I wouldn't want to do that..."

"And besides, I'd be leaving Ryou behind. He's basically collateral to make sure I'd come back."

Yugi thought about that for a moment; examined Bakura's hopeful eyes. The Thief King was a rather large man, and the cell looked even smaller than it should have around him, even when he was sitting. Yugi swallowed slightly, observing the muscular legs that the Thief King claimed a desire "just to stretch." He was attractive in an entirely different way than Atem, Yugi thought. The Pharaoh of Egypt was lean and sleek, like a caracal or wild cat. The Thief King was powerfully built, like a desert lion, an effect which would only be emphasized as he further regained his health. Already, even in the confines of the small cell, his fugitive-leanness had begun to fade with adequate food, rest, and proper shelter from the elements. Yugi swallowed again, involuntarily, as he recalled the time he had walked in on a very shirtless Bakura doing push-ups with Ryou on his back.

"What do you think?" Bakura's eyes were limpid and sincere as he prompted the other, and again Yugi swallowed.

"I... well..." Though he knew—from experience and legend—that the Thief King was no novice at telling tales, Yugi couldn't seem to summon up a scrap of earnest mistrust. So he stood, slowly, and said, "A walk... yeah, walks are good, on sleepless nights."

The Thief King brightened, a smile like a child's slicing his face. "You're the kindest of Lords, certainly, Yugi Mutou!" He stood as Yugi fetched the keys from some ways down the hallway, then turned back and kissed Ryou's forehead with a murmur of, "Be back, my love." Yugi couldn't tell if it was for show or not.

"Just a quick walk around the garden," he said, as if to reassure himself of the fact. The Thief King came trotting—laudably restrained, in his excitement—into the hallway, and waited as Yugi re-locked the cell.

"Did you want to cuff me?" he asked, and Yugi shook his head.

"It wouldn't do a lot of good, anyway, if you decided to try anything."

Bakura laughed, flexing one bicep. "I know these look impressive, but I'm really not capable of shattering chains."

Yugi gave him an unamused look, less than assured. "Let's go..." he sighed, and Bakura kept obediently to his side as they walked down the corridor.

"So what's your sad story?" Bakura asked, conversationally. Yugi glanced over at him in surprise.

"My sad story?"

"You were a slave, right?"

Yugi nodded. "Yeah..."

"Parents sell you?"

"Oh no..." Yugi shook his head. "Someone I beat in a game. I bet my life on the game, against the debt on my grandfather's shop. He couldn't pay, so I played for a chance for him to keep it. But when I won, the man attacked me. And when I woke up, I had already been sold."

Bakura gave a low chuckle. "Ouch."

"From what I heard, he didn't make half of the money my grandfather owed him, by selling me. That made me a little happy."

Bakura laughed. "That is a bit satisfying. I still think you'd fetch a fairly high price, though."

Yugi gave him a baleful glance, but didn't speak as he opened the outer door of the dungeon complex. Bakura pulled a step or two ahead, but stopped just on the threshold. He raised his face and inhaled deeply, eyes closed.

"It's good to be alive."

Yugi blinked up at him in surprise, closing the door as quietly as he could manage. The Thief King certainly looked more magnificent in the open than in a cage, face turned up toward the moon, his scarred and supple body bathed in silver. Yugi was momentarily caught short of breath.

"I owe that to Ryou, you know," Bakura said, with a catty glance toward Yugi. Then he set off at a leisurely pace, Yugi trotting to catch up and then padding along beside him.

"Was that all true? What you told Atem?"

"You believed it," the Thief King said, with a sideways grin.

"But was it true?" Yugi repeated.

"Every word," Bakura replied easily. He kicked playfully at a stone in the path. "Ever wanted to die, little pharaoh-ling?"

"No."

"It's a wonderful thing, really, if you're lucky enough to live through it," Bakura said, gazing up at a tree as they passed. "You never see things the same way."

Yugi nodded slightly. "I know what despair is like," he said, "even if I've never wanted death. So I do have some idea of what you're talking about."

"I can imagine. From a slave to the betrothed of a pharaoh? It's like me, going from street rat to King of Thieves."

"You did that by your own merit, though," Yugi said, embarrassed. "I was lucky to have Atem appear to pick me up out if the mud."

Bakura shook his head. "You and the Pharaoh... there's something very special that exists between you two. The fact that you got dragged into the Shadow Realm with him is proof of that. And you earn your keep dueling for him, don't you? Am I right?"

Yugi nodded, though he lowered his head. "That's... yeah, that's the big secret..."

"Anyone who knows their way around the Shadow Realm could figure it out. Luckily, there aren't that many out there who do."

"Why do you know?" Yugi asked with interest.

"I made a deal with a demon. A monster. Zorc, in fact," Bakura said, pausing and gazing up into the lush branches of a tree. "I'm going to climb this," he informed Yugi, without looking down. "I'm not trying to escape, so don't freak." He leaped, then, and heaved himself up with powerful arms, vanishing with a leafy rustle.

"H-Hey!" Yugi called after him, then hurried to scramble up the trunk. When he broke out into the moonlight once more, close to the top of the tree, he found Bakura waiting there, leaning on a thick branch and gazing up at the sky.

"We all make contracts with them, those of us who duel," the Thief King said. "I just took it a bit farther. I gave Zorc a piece of my soul, and he gave me access to the Shadows."

Yugi gaped. "A piece of your soul?"

"Mmhm," Bakura touched the hollow at the base of his neck, then trailed his fingers down to the golden ring that hung, always, against his chest. "That was long before I met Ryou. That was when I was dying, for real, as a street rat with nothing and no one. That deal allowed me to keep living."

"But... you gave up a part of your soul..." Yugi breathed.

"Aah, but you're talking to the King of Thieves, little Yugi. I got it back, a long time ago. My soul's intact, I assure you, and I can walk the Shadows, and I command Zorc as my servant in mighty duels. A true King, don't you think?"

Yugi swallowed, wondering yet again if he'd made a terrible mistake by letting the Thief King out to take a walk.

But Bakura soothed his fears with a surprisingly soft smile, and said, "I could overthrow your Pharaoh on a whim. But you, Yugi Mutou? I think you might be able to get the better of even me."

"M-Me...?" Yugi asked, the branch he stood upon swaying.

The Thief King nodded. "You think I didn't have that duel won? Little Yugi, you're the one who beat me, that day. And Ryou says you're the one who saved me, when my pulse stopped. Now I sit in a dungeon, with my precious Ryou, and I'm happy of it, because of you. I don't think there's another god or monster or human soul that could have that kind of influence on me."

Yugi didn't know how to respond, so he remained silent.

"Why don't you want to talk to Pharaoh?" Bakura prompted, eventually.

Yugi sighed. "Because... he can't make it like things didn't happen. He tries so hard... and he does so much, for me... but sometimes... when we sleep next to each other... he can see them, too. The flashbacks. The dreams. They cause him more pain than they cause me. I... Physical distance makes it easier to keep our minds separate, so he doesn't have to dream about that, too."

Bakura nodded slowly; waited patiently for Yugi to find the words to continue.

"It's like... what he doesn't realize is... he can feel my terror, but I can also feel his guilt. He takes it on himself, and he tries to make it like it never happened. But that's impossible. You can't change the past. I have a future, now, and that's thanks to him, but he has to realize that... that the past isn't something either of us can help!"

Again Bakura nodded; said, "The past makes us who we are, pharaoh-ling—you, and I, and even Horus-incarnate, the Pharaoh. We'd be different people, if not for our pasts. It'd be foolish to change them, even if we could."

"I know." Yugi gave a weary smile. "I wouldn't change a thing."

"Neither would I," said the Thief King.

They gazed wordlessly up at the sky, together, for some time. Bakura sighed, softly and in apparent contentment. Yugi recalled a similar night spent with Ryou Bakura on the palace terrace, and smiled.

"You know, I was absolutely planning to escape, if you actually let me out tonight."

Yugi's jaw dropped, and he turned to meet Bakura's eyes—gleaming with humor. "What?!"

"I don't have it in me, though," the Thief King said, with a shrug. Then he dropped down through the boughs, and Yugi scrambled after him, landing just as Bakura was brushing himself off. "Let's head back. Don't want Ryou to wake up and think I've killed you and run off, or anything like that."

Yugi's eyes narrowed as he followed the Thief King back along the path. "Are you teasing?" he asked warily. "About intending to escape?"

"Maybe. Maybe not." Bakura grinned. "Even if I play tame, I'd like to at least keep you guessing."

Yugi huffed.

"We should do this again, sometime," Bakura said, stopping to run his hand gently through a flowerbed as he passed it.

"Not happening. Not after what you just told me."

"Really? Maybe I should make a break for it while I have the chance, then..."

"W-Wait just a minute...!"

"Kidding, kidding... or maybe I'm not?"

"Please stop!"

The Thief King laughed—a warm, deep sound, and Yugi felt his spirit lifted mysteriously. He looked up; saw Bakura's face in profile. The pale, disfiguring scar contrasted even more vividly with his rich skin-tone in the moonlight. The sight should have been a frightening one, but the Thief King's expression was peaceful; his laugh and his slight smile both genuine.

"The legends of the Thief King don't mention your good humor or your wisdom. Why is that, do you think?"

Bakura gave a loose shrug of his powerful shoulders. "When you get a reputation as a thief and a killer, no one cares to listen to your jokes or your anecdotes."

"Makes sense, I guess."

"I am a thief and a killer, Yugi."

"I know that," Yugi said, a bit uncomfortably. "But..."

"But nothing." Bakura, suddenly serious, turned to him. "You should have let me die, by all rational thought."

"I couldn't do that," Yugi said softly. "You reminded me of... and Ryou..."

"I'm not sorry you saved me," Bakura said. "I want to stay alive, for as long as possible. But you're a smart one. You had to realize what saving me could mean."

"But I wasn’t thinking about that," Yugi said. "I was thinking about your life. That's all."

"Why not think about all the lives I've taken? And those I might take, if I lived?"

"I didn't make a mistake by saving you—I'm sure of that! Why are you trying to convince me that I did?" Yugi asked, a bit exasperated.

"So you don't go trying to make friends with every killer and thief you meet," Bakura replied. "Just because it worked this time doesn't mean—"

"It worked?!" 

Bakura blinked. "It what?"

Yugi beamed up at him, any annoyance banished instantly. "Are you saying we're friends?"

The Thief King paused; replayed the conversation, for himself, and then gave a rueful chuckle. "Shit... little pharaoh-ling, don't twist my words."

"I didn't! You said, 'Just because it worked this time.' So you do admit that it worked!"

Bakura laughed; nudged Yugi's shoulder lightly with one fist. "Don't tell the Pharaoh, okay? I'm not sure he wouldn't have me put to death on the spot for claiming to be your friend."

Yugi nodded, his smile brightening further. "Sure! But he'll come around eventually, I'm sure of it." 

"With your skills of persuasion? I'm sure he will."

As they reached the entrance of the dungeon once more, Yugi said, "We should do this again, soon."

Bakura gave him a predatory grin—obvious histrionics that made Yugi chuckle. "And if I try to escape?"

"You won't," Yugi said, with certainty, and Bakura softened.

"I won't, Yugi Mutou. Not from you."

[reptilerach]

“Rejection”; Chapter Nineteen

NOTES: Oh, this chapter’s gonna be good. For best feels possible while reading this chapter, I recommend playing this song in the background when cued. Don’t worry, it’ll be worth the trouble.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own this song and Undertale. I acknowledge and give all credit to Toby Fox, the creator of Undertale, and Pomnoi, creator of this remix of the original song used in this chapter. And since I know it’s popular, I just want to say that if there are any other Undertale fanfics that include it then the fact that I am using it as well is merely coincidental and that I am not trying to steal anyone’s ideas and/or content. Enjoy!

________________________________________________________________

Grillby noticed that the human had left; naturally, he took the chance to speak with Sans. “So…” He crackled quietly, and Sans lifted his gaze up at him expectantly. “hm? wassup, grillbs?” Grillby smiled, and shook his eyebrows up and down suggestively. Sans glared at him, confused, not getting the message. The man of fire picked up a bottle of ketchup, and handed it to the short skeleton in front of him.

“What do you think of your new friend?” He asked, and Sans sat up straight. “i feel like i should be asking you the same thing.” Grillby chuckled, and shrugged. “I wasn’t the one getting all lovey-dovey with her just now.” Sans froze; nearly growling, he scowled at Grillby. “huh?! what are you-” Grillby wasn’t one to interrupt others, but he just needed to stop Sans right there.

Holding up a hand, Grillby made a his point clear. “Sans, I saw you from my kitchen. I didn’t hear your conversation, but I saw what went on. I watched you listen to whatever- (Y/N), was it?- was saying, and the look in your eyes was genuine. You care for her immensely.” Sans rolled his pupils, a slight blue tinting his cheekbones. “of course i do. she’s my friend; and friends have to look out for one another. right?”

Grillby sighed, shaking his head. “Yes, but…” He trailed off, leaving the skeleton to his own thoughts for a moment. “Sans, she looks like she really needs you. The look she was wearing before; I wasn’t surprised when she started crying. I was going to come over, until you stepped in and helped her.” Grillby smiled knowingly, and stated what he thought was the obvious.

“Normal friends don’t just take another’s hand and caress their hair in a hug. They don’t respond as quickly as you did when she finished speaking; they don’t give her the look.” Sans tilt his head in confusion, when he finally understood what the bartender was hinting. His entire face blushed a deep royal blue; shakily, he set the bottle of ketchup down. “oh no you don’t! you can’t possibly think that i-” Sans watched in horror as Grillby chuckled under his breath, nodding his head “yes”.

Sans stood up from his stool in an embarrassed rage, and readied himself to comeback with something good. However, his mind drew a blank when his eyes trailed off of the flaming chef over to (Y/N), who was smiling happily at a new tune floating throughout the restaurant. Sans’ expression changed to one of a less threatening demeanor, and Grillby laughed.

“Right there is my proof. You can’t take your eyes off her.” He stated matter-o-factly, and Sans groaned. “it’s really not. i was just curious to what song she was playing-” “Sure, Sans. Sure you were.” There was no point continuing the argument, so Sans slumped back down onto his seat. Thankfully, (Y/N) was done picking out her song and snapped her fingers along to it.

This caught Sans’ attention, and listened to her hum under breath. He raised a brow, and chuckled. “you sing too? jeez, you do it all.” (Y/N) smiled, and folded her elbow. She leaned into it quickly, then set her arm down. Sans watched in an amused shock, not understanding what she just did. Her grin faltered, and she tilt her head. “What’s wrong?” She asked, while Sans gazed into her brown eyes with shock.

“what was that?” Her eyes widened in disbelief, and she jumped up from her seat. “You don’t know the ‘dab’?!” Sans copied her perplexed stare; he had to hold himself back from laughing. “um, no. is it magic?” She performed the action again, but this time with more emphasis as she flung her arm backwards into the air. Sans couldn’t contain it anymore and laughed hard. He was starting to forget his weird conversation with Grillby.

“It’s a dance move!” She exclaimed, and Sans grimaced. He thought of Mettaton, and how much he despised the bucket of bolts. The creep was always hitting on his brother; but thankfully Papyrus didn’t see him in that way. (Y/N) shot her arm out forward on an angle, and stomped her opposing foot right after. “is that another dance move?” Sans cringed at his own voice; he sounded like a nervous wreck.

“Yep! It’s called-” she did the same exact thing, but with her other arm and foot, “-the whip!” Sans laughed at the stupid name, and wondered why it was called that. “did you make that up?” (Y/N) shook her head, and rest her hands on her hips. “I wish. I would be so famous up on the Surface.” Sans choked on the last of his ketchup that he had leftover from dinner, and spun around away from the bar.

“this is the material you humans like to dance with on the surface?” He mocked, and you scowled. “What? You got some better moves?” You hissed with a snap of your hands, and Sans shrugged. “eh, when i’m trying. plus, the only kinds of dances around here lately are just for formal traditions; not for fun.”

You grinned devilishly, and called over some huge dogs playing poker in the corner. Sans peered at you curiously, with a goofy smile sprawled across his face. The pooches bound over; you’d already grown to like them, as they were the ones who had greeted you when you addressed yourself earlier to the entire bar. You pat Lesser Dog and Greater Dog’s heads, and whispered something in their ears.

They glared at Sans, smiling with their large canines. Sans sweat nervously; his happy smile turning to one of slight concern. One of the dog’s who went by Doggo told your plan to Grillby, whose flame hair burned brightly at the idea. All the people in the pub soon knew what was going on by passing the word around, except for Sans of course. He didn’t like where this was going, as all the tables in the center of the restaurant were being cleared.

Most monsters arose from their seats, and formed a wide circle around (Y/N). She had peeled off Sans’ jacket, leaving it on one of the booths nearby. Her skin glistened with a hint of cool sweat, causing her to somewhat shine in the dim light. She ruffled her long, wavy hair, and rolled abruptly on her heels to face Sans. She had one hand on her hip, the other hanging loosely by her side. A fire sparked within her eyes; an area of her chest glowing an unfamiliar light pink.

Without him noticing, Grillby had slid behind Sans. The skeleton demanded to know what was going on, when the whole restaurant went silent. They were all staring at Sans, who, in turn, was really anxious. “grillbs, what the hell is happening?” He asked with a waver in his voice; the crowd chuckled at his uncertainty. He hated being the center of attention when he wasn’t being a comedian.

Grillby laid a warm hand on Sans’ shoulder, reassuring him that he’ll be fine and that he should, “Go for it, dude.” Sans was extremely puzzled; he tried to ask what for but was interrupted with a command from the middle of the room. “Hit it!” (Y/N) shouted, and the drunk bunny flicked a button on the jukebox.

You smiled evilly, and slid your way over to Sans. One of your favorite songs was turned on; “Drop Pop Candy”. Everyone in the bar knew it, and you were sure the skeleton did too. He flinched when you suddenly appeared next to him. “C’mon, hotshot! Let’s see your moves.” You cooed, and grabbed his hand. His startled expression made you laugh as you dragged him into the newly made dance floor.

The first verse began, and Sans tried tugging his arm away. “(y/n), come on! don’t do this to me. i can’t- i don’t-” “So you can’t dance after all?” You challenged, and he grimaced.

“But look around-” “Dance up and down!”

You wrapped your arms around his waist, and twirled him quickly. The two of you wound up in a dip; Sans glared at you with annoyance. “i hate you so much, ya know that?” You giggled while the chorus came up.

“Can you take me away at the top. Speed. OF. SOUND?!”

At each syllable, you strode away and performed a different dance move. Sans just stood at a standstill, with his hands by his sides. The crowd cheered like crazy over on your end, while his side was still encouraging him. He felt stupid; rubbing his head sheepishly, he sighed and balled his hands into fists-

-when he shimmied over to you, moon-walking with his feet. You clapped along to the beat, bumping into his hip. He looked up at you with a shy gaze; quickly, you took his hands. The two of you moved back and forth together; he spun you around, which confused you as he was a lot shorter.

“Everyday, everyday is okay...”

You detached from him, doing a little krumping for silliness. He stared for a moment, blushing a faint blue; then he went back to his own thing, still keeping his cool, not going out into full dance mode. He threw his hands out in front of himself, and made a circular motion. You saw his body fall backwards dangerously, nearly making you cry out in shock- only thing was that it was just an introduction to some sick break-dancing.

His side of the crowd cheered with awe, thus sending you the need to keep up.

Once his fifteen seconds of fame was over, Sans flipped back into a normal standing position. You boogied over to his side, playfully snickering at the current verse of the song.

“Our love is growing red; need me more, need you more!”

You grabbed his shirt, bringing both of your bodies super close. His cheekbones turned cobalt, causing your heart to skip a beat. You laid your hands on his spine, this time you dipping him while holding up one of his legs by your hips. He smoothed the nervous sweat off his head with one hand, the other holding desperately onto your neck so he wouldn’t drop.

The monsters surrounding you screamed as the music continued. Sans scrambled away; you let him, laughing at his anxiousness. You growled playfully, and stood straight. He grabbed his coat from where you had left it earlier and flung it onto himself. Zipping it up, he threw the hood over his skull and pulled at the front of his jacket like a gangster.

The amusement brought by his actions came to a halt when his dancing got more serious; busting out moves that you could never dream of achieving, he started off with a spin on the floor and ended with an amazing handstand. Sans thumped his slipper on the floor, and shook his left hand out in front of him. He kept his hood pulled over his dark eye sockets, pretending that he was grinding something.

You blushed hard at his appalling dirty techniques. Whatever you used to retort looked pathetic compared to the twirls and twists Sans was doing; but you tried still tried your best. Looking up from his hood, his left eye flared to life. He lifted a hand, and made a motion as if he were pulling in rope.

Suddenly, you felt your soul protrude from your chest with a deep blue color.

“I'll paint it blue- I'll play a tune!”

The audience screamed with delight; you caught a glance of Grillby watching with astonishment. You were dragged over into Sans’ arms by force, and felt his ribs squish up against your chest as he hoisted you up off the ground. Some monsters whistled as you were thrown underneath him, but propped back up quickly.

The two of you circled each other, until the chorus was sung. That's when you caught sight of Sans’ white soul making its way out of his blue hoodie and into the public. You thought this should worry him, as he could get hurt if the soul accidentally hit something; but that same confident aura radiating off his figure told you otherwise. You followed suite, and drew your soul out with your palm.

Sans pumped a fist in the air, while (Y/N) clapped along to the beat once more. The crowd got into it quite well; Grillby blushed to himself when he saw how close his best friend‍‍‍‍‍‍’s soul was to the human’s. He’d never seen nor heard of a time where Sans would put himself in such a position- one where he’s so vulnerable that a single blow to his fragile heart would turn him to dust.

The blue magic that Sans had used on (Y/N) faded away, but his eye still glowed fiercely. He really did trust her; Grillby watched in pure bewilderment at the swirl of emotions and colors inside of the human’s soul.

The end of the tune was fast approaching; readying themselves for a conclusion, the duo stepped closer to one another. They held their hands up in the air up by one another’s cheek, breathing heavily.

“Cry to me, know that I care. Lean on me and I'll be there-”

(Y/N) gently flipped her hair, while Sans silently marveled at how gracefully she moved her body in front of him. He strode right next to her, taking her by the waist.

Using his magic for help, he lift her legs up around his waist and wrapped them there. She was about eye level with him now: just the way he wanted it. Their souls glowed so brightly that it lit up the entire pub; monsters from outside had come in to watch, and were outstanded that the lazy skeleton of Snowdin was actually up in the center of the room waltzing with a girl.

“Shining down on me, you're my blue moon…”

The song neared its end, and Sans did one last spin before planting (Y/N) back onto her feet. She took his hand, and snaked an arm around his neck. He placed his free hand on her hips, walking forward with her majestically. His hood slid off, and his the blue in his left eye died down.

“Taking it step by step, we'll always move ahead. Our love is growing red; need me more, need you more…”

(Y/N) stopped, and put her other hand around him. He moved his own to the small of her back; realizing the small proximity between the both of them, (Y/N) blushed immensely. Grillby could tell by the look in her eyes that she was hoping Sans didn’t notice her embarrassment.

“As we keep trying, we'll find you're always gonna be there too.”

She sang aloud, and Sans’ eye sockets grew in surprise. He would’ve never presumed that a human could have such a beautiful voice. Pushing a sense of courage, Sans closed his eye sockets and harmonized with (Y/N) for the final verse.

“We're always singing the same tune! Everyday from now on..”

The two of you finished, completely out of breath from the rush of adrenaline. The crowd cheered like there was no tomorrow once you were done; some monsters wolf whistled,while others clapped vigorously. Sans’ soul beamed the same bright white it did back in the alley; your cheeks grew to a dark red upon seeing it. The light pink in your soul changed to that lovely red-fuchsia; Sans brought his skeletal hand up to your chin.

He was smiling genuinely, but looked very tired. For what he lacked in physical energy was replaced by the blush on his cheekbones. A chant arose from the audience, but it didn't bother you or Sans at all. Perhaps it was encore; but neither of you cared. All that mattered was that Sans did it- he danced in public with you, no matter how humiliating it was.

FIRST

PREVIOUS

NEXT

Chapter Ten (Where all the chapters before that are)

Chapter Twenty (That’s just the Next one, but there you’ll find Links for Chapters 11 --> 19)

Chapter Thirty (Links for Chapters 21 --> 29)

[vateacancameos]

The Forest for the Trees, Part 4

Sherlock | Fanfic | Johnlock | Unilock | Asexual Sherlock | 5K words | 4 Parts | ao3 link 

January

“Happy birthday, you git,” John said, smiling at Sherlock across the table. Sherlock stiffened in surprise. He hadn’t thought anything of it when John had suggested that they go out to eat that night. He mentioned something about celebrating, but Sherlock had just solved a rather difficult cold case, and he’d just thought John wanted to commemorate that. He’d never told John his birthday, and he didn’t think John had ever seen his ID, so he wasn’t sure how he’d found out when it was.

As if reading his mind, John grinned wider. “I asked your mum at Christmas. Cut it close, with your early January birthday. You would’ve glossed right over it, wouldn’t you have? Idiot.” He shook his head in a way Sherlock had come to see as fond, sort of like Mummy had when Sherlock was young (and sometimes even now). He had always liked that expression on John. It was proof that not everyone found Sherlock to be annoying and difficult to be around. It said that some people found his foibles at least a little endearing, rather than unbearable. And that it was John made it even better.

Sherlock shrugged. “I don’t understand why people feel the need to celebrate their birth. It’s just another day.”

“Well, you might find it tedious, but I for one would like to celebrate the fact that you’re in this world and that I get to share your time in it with you. So perhaps we’re celebrating what a lucky guy I am,” he said with a wink.

“We’ll be sure the waitress brings you the cake then,” Sherlock retorted, but he couldn’t manage any bite to his tone. John considered himself lucky to be friends with Sherlock. Lucky that Sherlock was in the world at all. The idea warmed him like birthday candles never could.

John placed his hand on the table, fiddling with his silverware for a moment. Then he inched his hand toward the center of the table. “I really do feel lucky, Sherlock. The past few months have been… so great. When we first met, I couldn’t believe you’d even give me the time of day. You were so smart, and you seemed so untouchable. But you let me into your world, you shared it with me. I couldn’t ask for more.”

(This a long one, so the rest is below the cut).

Speech complete, he brought his hand further toward Sherlock’s. He hesitated a moment, then picked up Sherlock’s hand, brought it toward him, and kissed Sherlock’s knuckles gently. Then he laid Sherlock’s hand back on the table and looked away for a moment, cheeks tinged with pink. Then he nodded and looked back at Sherlock.

Sherlock was at a loss. He had been explaining away their closeness for months, telling himself that of course friends cuddled on the sofa to watch a movie, of course they spent every waking moment together. Sherlock had never had a real friend before (Greg didn’t count; they had been lab partners, then Greg had been Sherlock’s way into the Met after he’d finished uni), so he’d let himself believe they behaved as any pair of best friends might.

But best friends didn’t kiss each other’s hands. They probably didn’t live in each other’s pockets. And the most likely didn’t cuddle on the couch. But this made no sense. Why would straight-as-an-arrow John Watson act like they were dating? And why did he never mention their relationship? Did John merely feel sorry for Sherlock? Did he just want to give his friend the experience of a romantic relationship because he pitied him, wanted to give him a little handout?

Sherlock felt rage build inside him. He didn’t need pity. He was fine on his own. He hadn’t asked for John’s help. He had never even expressed an interest in a romantic relationship.

“Don’t,” he said lowly.

“Sorry. I didn’t think you’d take it any differently than the sofa cuddling, and you seem to like that well enough. I just–”

“No! You can’t just… play act that we’re a couple. I don’t need your pity, John.”

John looked hurt, but quickly masked it. “Sherlock, I don’t pit–”

“Of course you do,” Sherlock sneered, crossing his arms. “I was an idiot not to see it at first, but I wasn’t exactly well versed in friendship, now was I? I told myself we were no different from any other friends, but then you went along with my mother’s silly idea at Christmas and now you’re celebrating my birthday and telling me how lucky you are and kissing my hand. And it’s made me think back to the sofa cuddling and the touching and– and friends don’t do that! So you must be taking pity on me, letting me feel like I’m in a relationship because you think no one could ever want me. Oh! And let’s not forget that you were doing this while you had your mysterious boyfriend.” Sherlock’s voice wobbled at the last bit. The hurt he’d initially felt over that had come back in full force.

John’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Sherlock… you’re the only boyfriend I’ve ever had. And you’re not a pretend one either.”

“Of course I am. We’re not together!”

John’s face fell. He sat back in his chair like a puppet whose strings had been cut. “Oh.” He looked away.

Now it was Sherlock’s turn to be confused. John looked legitimately sad at Sherlock’s words. But why? He was letting John out of this strange farce Sherlock hadn’t even known he was a part of. John could go back to dating girls and living his own life. He wouldn’t have Sherlock hanging on like a limpet at every opportunity, weighing him down. And yet, he wasn’t happy. He wasn’t acting like a liberated man. He was acting like someone had taken away his favorite birthday gift.

Could John actually want to be with Sherlock? Had he been acting under the misapprehension that they were a couple? Sherlock thought back again, took away the lens of pity and added one of genuine enjoyment—all of their times kicking each other under the blankets on the sofa, the giggling at inappropriate things, the warmth of Christmas, the shared breaks between classes, the casual touches, and the smiles.

He felt a sliver of hope run through him. John maybe wanted to date him. Had thought they had been doing so for months. He echoed John’s earlier word, but accompanied by completely different emotions. “Oh!” His hands went to his mouth. “Oh. You… want to be with me?”

John looked back at him, wary, but not closed off. He studied Sherlock for a moment, then nodded hesitantly. “Of course. Who wouldn’t?”

Sherlock wanted to cry at the words, uttered with complete sincerity and confusion. Instead, he let out a huff of a laugh. “Most of this planet, I would think.”

“More for me?” John asked, his face lighting up a bit.

Sherlock bit his lip. There had been a major miscommunication between them, and he was determined to not only figure out where they went wrong, but how to keep it from happening again. “So, uh, when did we start dating?”

Something in his expression must have reassured John, because he gave a tentative smile. “Back when you told me that you were better than any girlfriend I could ever have?”

Sherlock scrunched his face in thought, trying to remember precisely what was said. As John had said, he had ranted about John’s girlfriends being dull and how John’s time would be better spent having fun with Sherlock. Then John had said…

“So… you and me should–”

“Of course, John. We can stand each other far better than we can stand anyone else. It’s only logical.”

Sherlock had meant that best friends were more important than any dime-a-dozen girlfriend John could dredge up, but apparently John had taken it to mean that Sherlock wanted to date John. He could see now how their tendency to not talk about anything deep had caused some confusion.

“Oh. Right. I see…” he said slowly.

“If you don’t–”

“John.”

“want to, I understand. I was stupid and naïve to think that. And even so–”

“John.”

“I should have insisted we talk about it. I just thought that was you being–”

“John.”

“Let me say my piece, Sherlock. You being you. I know you see relationships differently, and so I thought… this was just how you did them. And it was fine. I was just happy that you wanted me, however it was you were capable of wanting.” John shrugged.

Sherlock felt warm all over. John Watson wanted him. He let himself linger in the glow a moment. Then something John said caught up with him. “Wait. You were willing to be in a mostly non-romantic, non-physical, let’s-not-talk-about-it relationship with me? Just because you… had feelings for me? You gave up girls for that?!? What is wrong with you?”

John smiled self-consciously. “I fell in love.”

Sherlock sagged back in his chair. Oh.

“I’m a rubbish boyfriend,” he muttered, half apology, half statement.

John’s smile got bigger. “You have your moments, but your mostly pretty okay.”

“I’m sorry, John. I was stupid–”

“No, I was stupid. I read things wrong, and then I didn’t ask for clarification…”

“John! My whole being is based on deductions and my ability to do them well. And yet, I was oblivious to the fact that I had an amazing boyfriend by my side the whole time. So I clearly win the stupidity match.”

John raised an eyebrow, not convinced. “Amazing?”

Sherlock grinned. This was brilliant. “Fantastic, smart, fun, perfect boyfriend.”

John beamed back. “So, just to clarify… you want this? Us?”

“Yes.”

“Romantically.”

“I love you, John Watson.”

“Okay. Yeah. That’s good. I love you, Sherlock Holmes.”

Sherlock felt like he could float away, but he didn’t know how to express that, so he merely said, “Good.”

John fiddled with his silverware. “So, for further clarification. Physically…”

“What we’ve been doing, definitely good. Kissing… I reserve the right to form an opinion after having experienced it. Sex… most likely out, but again, reserve the right to change my mind later.”

“Okay. Boundaries, good.” John looked so serious, Sherlock thought he was actually taking mental notes. He couldn’t believe someone took his opinions and feelings so seriously. Even after months as friends (boyfriends?), it was still novel to him. He vowed to not ever take it for granted.

“But…” he began, trying to decide how to phrase it. “Maybe, if you want to, you could move into my room?”

“Yeah?” John asked, crooked (adorable) smile returning. “You just want me because I’m warm,” he teased.

Sherlock softly kicked his ankle, then let his foot rest where it was. “Berk.”

“Git.”

* * *

They left the restaurant that evening in great spirits, buoyed by good food and better conversation. As they walked down the pavement back to Baker Street, Sherlock slipped his hand into John’s. John squeezed it, then laced their fingers together. They fit perfectly.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

[dylanmaystk]

My top 10 Music Artists of All Time

I’ve thought about doing a post like this for a while but always held off because I felt like it would be an impossible feat that would eventually remain unfinished due to my inability to commit to just ten, nevertheless... here we go.  The idea kinda came from a conversation I had with one of my friends on his top five bands of all time. This was something I always thought would be easy to decide on, until I’d ultimately remember a band pivotal to my very existence that would cause me to reshape my whole list in entirety an hour later.  When looking at the subject of top ten artists of all time, I thought about it in the simplest of terms: What artists, by any means, would I not be able to live without? Doing it this way kinda helped, but I’m sure to raise a few eyebrows especially to those that don’t really know me. Even after reworking the list a few times, this was the one that stayed the most consistent. So fuck it, my top ten music artists of all time:

10. The Smiths  

What could you say about The Smiths? Other than being the soundtrack for every brooding and emo teen since the groups first album in 1984, The Smiths are just great.  Complex to the point where it’s welcomed, fans of the group have praised them for their songs of love, loss, and just about everything in between.  Ofcourse, the band really isn’t much without one of the most recognizable voices in alternative music, Morrissey (what I’d kill to have that ‘preme shirt). The don that is Morrissey gave us so much content throughout the years, but maybe what he’s best known for is his vividly descriptive, weird, yet endearing chorus on “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out” that’s been known to show up on countless TV shows and movies.

“If a double decker bus, crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die/and if a ten ton truck, kills the both of us, to die by your side, the pleasure, the privilege is mine.”

Yup, gotta love The Smiths. 

Recommended Listens: The Smiths, Meat is Murder 

9. Lauryn Hill

From the Fugees to her flawless The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, L-Boogie has always been a revered and ominous presence in Hip Hop. Having the smallest body of work on this list, people have pleaded to get her back in the studio in hopes of creating something with even remotely as much magic as her solo and only studio album. What’s amazing about Lauryn is she seems to be great without even trying.  Her only album nabbed a Grammy for Album of The Year and is one of only two Hip Hop based albums to ever have that honor.  Not only that, her verses are so eloquent and deep you really can’t capture everything in one listen. With layers beyond belief, Lauryn Hill embodies the saying “quality over quantity” to perfection.

Recommended Listens: The Fugees’ The Score, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill

8. Paramore 

Holy fuck they’re finally back.  After about a four year hiatus, Paramore is slated to release their fifth studio album this month and it couldn’t be more overdue. Their longest break between albums to date, Paramore’s sound is forever evolving and their new singles Hard Times and Told You So are proof. Although vintage Paramore will always my favorite, their new 80′s/poppy inspired sound is something they’ve hinted at for a while and fans like myself are curious to see what surprises they have coming. 

At their core, Paramore is angsty yet refined. Their early grunge inspired sound led by Hayley Williams is alot of what I remember about the early 2000′s and is done well enough that I find it worthy of commendation. Something I always revert back to, Paramore is the pinnacle of the Warped Tour collection of bands and continue to prove why they’re one of the best collectives of the last decade.    

Recommended Listens: Riot!, Brand New Eyes

7. Drake 

Champagne Papi or Coquito Papi (shout out J.Lo) is the biggest hip hop pop artist on the planet, that’s a fact.  I honestly don’t know if there’s anything he can’t do.  Since 2009 and the debut of So Far Gone, a mixtape that’s changed what mixtapes are by their standard, Drake has reigned supreme and has dominated commercially as well as in the barbershop conversations for best rapper of today (you’re there too Kendrick, don’t worry).  What makes him so universally loved is his appeal and his ability to identify with both the male and female demographic.  His vulnerability has spawned a new wave of what many call “emotional rap” that has since been replicated by many but none with the sheer bravado and lasting brilliance quite like Drake’s. He’s calculated almost to the point where its scary and shows a grit that 90′s rappers can be proud of. With his ability to give you an emotional and heartfelt ballad one minute, then talks of “crushing some ass even if it ain’t too big” the next, Drake is certified platinum and a legend in his own right. 

Some chunes for your headtop: Take Care, So Far Gone 

6. Nas 

The Street’s Disciple had to have a place on my list.  Nas is arguably one of the greatest rappers of all time and has inspired so many people I listen to today. His wit, cadence, and knowledge was unheard of for his age and at the time of his now enshrined Illmatic. Out of all of the golden age rappers, Nas seemed to stick out to me the most because he knew exactly what he wanted to be/was straight from the beginning.  A few mediocre albums aside, Nas’ return with Life is Good in 2012 was so reassuring that he hadn’t lost his touch, I myself even exhaled. Flashy with the wordplay and a knack for stealing the show- even at the age of 40- Nas’ brilliance can’t be met. We need the new album Nas..... like seriously.

Recommended Listens: Illmatic, It Was Written 

5. Taylor Swift 

Remember how I said Drake was the biggest pop star in the world? Taylor Swift might just rival that. I don’t care what anyone says, Taylor is the greatest songwriter of this generation. I say it all the time because I think it’s something she hasn’t received enough credit for.  Granted, country Taylor just seemed to flow more, but that could be because Speak Now is one of the greatest albums I’ve ever heard.  Although sometimes she can tatter on the line of whiny, Taylor’s honesty and storytelling are what makes her connect and continue to sell out arenas worldwide.  Translating seamlessly to pop and still conveying that same sort of style and message are the reasons why her fans haven’t left her. I’ve been a fan since she was crying about that nigga Drew on “Teardrops On My Guitar”, and that was in ‘07.  

Recommended Listens: Speak Now, Fearless 

4. Michael Jackson 

Any music list that contains the words like “top ten” and “all time” should include the King of Pop.  Michael Jackson is literally the GOAT, like his name is synonymous with a four legged petting zoo animal. His music and overall presence in pop culture cannot be overstated and his influence is shown in many of the top 40 artists of today and I’m sure years to come.  I once asked why Thriller was the best selling album of all time (I was like 11) and my dad played it for me and said “just listen.” Yea I never heard anything so amazing in my life. Michaels just one of a kind and they’ll never be another, enough said.

Recommended Listens: Thriller (even though you’ve definitely heard it), Bad, Off The Wall 

3. Kanye West 

From one GOAT to another, Kanye might not have the lasting legacy Michael has now, but I think he definitely will.  Kanye seemed to come out of nowhere breathing fresh air into a genre that was predominantly still in the sex, drugs, and money era.  The College Dropout was huge in that it showed everyone what direction hip hop could go in, that sort of elegant and glamorous atmosphere that only Kanye himself could propel it to.  He has the most Grammys by any Hip Hop artist and for good reason, he’s been a pioneer in pushing the culture forward ever since he came on the scene.  Forever ahead of the curve and meticulous to the point where it frustrates his peers, Mr. West is the only artist where I can say my favorite album from him changes any time you ask me (even though the majority of the time I’ll say Graduation).  With what continues to be a privilege to hear anytime he releases new music, Kanye will probably agree.  I don’t have the answers Kanye, but I’m sure you do.

Recommended Listens: Graduation, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

2. Queen 

I have a tattoo of Freddie Mercury as a skeleton dressed in his drag outfit from the “I Want To Break Free” video on my leg.  That was a mouthful, and incase you don’t think you read that right, you did. I’ve loved Queen for as long as I could remember and I’m not really sure as to why specifically. The obvious reason would ofcourse be the frontman Freddie, but the band was so much more than its star. What’s crazy even to me is just how much I love this band even though I wasn’t even alive during their reign at the top of British and American music charts.  Queen signifies a universal acceptance and the idea that you shouldn’t give a fuck what anyone says and just produce dope shit, because at the end of the day that’s all that matters. With countless hits and some of the most widely recognized songs, the argument can be made that they could be in the top five bands ever to grace a stage.  If you tell me you listened to Bohemian Rhapsody in the car and didn’t go full Wayne’s World I’d call you a liar, simple as that.  

Oh also, their Live Aid performance may have been the greatest performance of all time, just ask Watchmojo.

Recommended Listens: A Night At The Opera, The Game, Hot Space (fuck what you heard it’s actually fire)

Honorable Mentions    

Kendrick Lamar

Chvrches 

Daft Punk 

Wu-Tang Clan 

A Tribe Called Quest 

Shania Twain 

Lana Del Rey 

Nirvana 

1. J. Cole 

J. Cole will always be my favorite artist and I credit alot of who I am today to his music.  He is the soul personified and his takes on life and personal growth add to his ability to make the human struggle seem beautiful in just about every way. Overshadowed at times by both Kendrick and Drake, Cole fans would attest that his openness and relatability range far beyond his contemporaries and put him in a category all his own. He’s responsible for creating my favorite body of work by anyone ever, Friday Night Lights. This mixtape (or album) changed my life in more ways than one and it’s sentimental value holds Cole at the top of my list for good reason.   I think what’s great is that although we don’t hear the hunger in his voice like we did on early tracks - especially those when he was seeking to ink a deal with Jay - we still get his energy and thought provoking lyrics in the form of a streaming social consciousness and a never ending want for social justice.  What some may find boring, I find incredible. “Cole world no snuggie” was a pretty questionable bar though...oh well, you get the pass fam.

Recommended Listens: Friday Night Lights, The Warm Up, 2014 Forest Hills Drive   

[carrioncrows-readers]

As an ages-old conspiracy starts to unfold in front of you, you politely decide to take the door out.

Content Warnings: n/a

You want to laugh in her face.

“Templars,” you say slowly, flatly. “Like the Knight’s Templars. The Poor Fellow-Soldiers of Christ.”

“Wouldn’t call them very poor at the moment,” Jacob mumbles, and you want to throw something at him. The Templars don’t exist anymore — anyone with half access to a history book would know that. And yet here you are, trapped in the middle of some fantastical fairy tale war between them and the Fryes. Or rather, the Fryes’ shady paragovernal association of bloody killers, Morvell apparently an integral member. It sounds unreal. It sounds just plausible enough that you might have believed them if you were stupider.

“Well,” you say, leaning back in your chair. “This has been extremely fun, I suppose, but whatever you’re planning to do with me, I think you can just go ahead. No need to lie about all that.” Evie and Jacob’s eyebrows furrow in tandem while Jayadeep snorts, covering his mouth with his hand.

“You assume we’re lying?” Evie asks, and there’s an edge to her voice that positively thrills you. This is the first time you’ve managed to reach under the porcelain mask she’s so firmly attached to her face and touch the monster underneath. You wiggle your fingers further in, chasing after her retreating teeth.

“Why wouldn’t I? All this talk of conspiracies — you could just tell me that Morvell is on your payroll and end it. That would be kinder, wouldn’t it? Rather than stringing me along for a week in this,” you motion to your poorly disguised cell, “charming  place.”

“The only reason you’ve been here for a week is that you have insofar refused to cooperate.”

“Drop the fucking charade,” you hiss, and you stand. Evie follows suit, and the other two begin to close in on you like circling wolves. “I am tired. I want to go home — what’s left of it, since your associate so kindly decided to pull the rug out from under my feet, probably on your order. You didn’t have to keep me here. You just wanted an excuse to be cruel. ”

The silence that follows your tirade is so heavy it hurts. It sinks to the bones of your shoulders, the base of your skull; all four of you stare at each other unblinking. Jacob is the first to break eye contact when he turns his head away to rub the back of his neck.

“I promise you, Morvell wasn’t acting on my behalf when he did that,” he says, “but I am not about to order the execution of a member of the Creed without due cause.” You imagine what it would feel like to squeeze the thick column of his neck until he turns blue. You imagine what it looks like when the light leaves his pretty hazel eyes. It-

Well. It’s disturbing that something in your stomach tightens, but it’s not exactly new. You thought you trained yourself out of  that  particular vice, but it seems that stress is forcing bad habits to rear their ugly heads. You rub your temples and take deep breaths to calm down. Now is not the time.

“I want to believe you,” you say, “really. That would, somehow, make this entire ordeal somewhat more bearable. But I have no evidence that any of this is actually real beyond a silly story said to me by a pair of frankly theatrical siblings.”

“I wish I had proof that I could show you,” Jacob steps forward, arms open. “I do. But I can’t. You’ll have to-”

“Don’t you dare ask me to trust you, Jacob Frye.” He doesn’t. Instead, he stares like he’s been wounded and shoves his hands into his pockets.

“Let me take you home, then. Believe you’ve been stuck here with our lot long enough.”

“Jacob!”  Evie is scandalized and scalded.

“Are you sure that is wise, Jacob?” Jayadeep pokes his head into the group. Jacob raises a shoulder in a shrug.

“Our guest has staunchly refused to believe us,” he says, “why would it not be?” The look in his eye is chilling — it stinks of mischief and a plan. You don’t like the idea of either one.

__

The carriage ride home is long and silent, with you sitting in the back and Jacob at the reins. The snow sticks to the cobblestones, slicking the roads. He keeps the horses slow. The winter quiet, and gentle pitch and yaw of the cab, rock you to a light, dreamless sleep. You’re easily woken by Jacob’s subtle encouragement of the horses to stop and the squeak of the wheels. You sit up and fix your hair and clothes before he opens the door. The wrong door.

He hops into the seat beside you and sighs, grabbing his hat to run his hand through his hair, the door propped open with his foot.

“Chilly day,” he says. You look outside the window in a panic, only relaxing a little bit when you see the dead windows of your home.

“There are so many lines you are crossing right now,” you say, tense and terse, “and have continued to cross since I have met you, Mr. Frye.”

“I like lines — particularly the ones I can pick up on either end and skip rope with.” You narrow your eyes until he deflates. “Listen. I just — I suppose I simply wanted to apologize. For everything that’s happened.” He leans back, pressing his knees into the front wall of the carriage.

“Morvell is looking after our financial interests, but finding out that people have gotten hurt by it… It rubs me wrong. I’ll try and see what I can do. I promise.” It’s surprisingly sweet of him to offer—empty, precious promises. You stare down at your knees, the hopeless weight of everything pushing against your core.

“Thank you, Jacob,” you say. “But it’s naïve to think no one is hurt by power and money or the pursuit of both.” You’re starting to realize that now, now that you’re on the knife edge of losing what little you had. It’s a pain between your ribs that won’t go away. Speaking it aloud just drives it in deeper until it nestles in the space behind your heart and makes it hard for you to breathe.

“Maybe. But if I don’t try and change the system, who will?”

The two of you sit in the wake of that — you thinking, Jacob stoically letting you. It’s a bold statement. An innocent one. It speaks to a man who carries weight on his shoulders you haven’t given him credit for. You tug your shirt hem down to try and cover your bare hands from the chill.

“You’re very sweet, Jacob Frye,” you say, watching him blink hard from your periphery.

“Well,” he takes a moment to recover. “Thank you. You could say I’m positively fruity, with all this sweetness.” You roll your eyes and make for the door. It’s awkward — Jacob refuses to budge, even as you try and maneuver around his knees and end up not-quite-straddling his thigh. You expect him to politely take the hint. You don’t expect him to lay a hand on the junction of your hip.

Electricity goes up your spine, and so does fear. You knew it — somehow, you knew Jacob was just waiting for an excuse. They always do, and memories of Morvell scraping his eyes over your body make bile sting the back of your throat. Even growing up he-

“I’m,” you claw your way back to reality. You can have a breakdown later. “I’m trying to get out, Jacob.”

“Oh,” Jacob says, and then more emphatically, “oh! Sorry.” He chuckles and jerks his hand away from your waist, scooting out of the cab and onto the sidewalk.

“Thought we were having a moment there. Let me help you out.” You don’t stop to wait for his hand — you just hop out of the carriage and try not to wobble, legs numb from sitting so long and the panic attack slowly creeping its way up from your thorax. “Or not.” He mumbles, watching you walk your way through the wrought iron gate and up the walkway. You stand at the hungry, yawning throat of your house, dreading the guts where you live. You turn your head, peeking over your shoulder as if you’ll find reassurance behind it, or maybe a ghost.

All you see is Jacob patting the horses. When he notices you staring, he waves earnestly and openly. It makes you smile for the first time in months, a reflex born out of social obligation.

When you walk into your house, you sprint to a nearby closet, lock yourself in, and scream. You scream for what feels like days while your thoughts torture you bloody. Your memories rot at your brainstem until sepsis sets in, and all you can do is sit, huddling, your knees curled to your body. After an hour, you fall asleep there, finally home, finally swallowed by the dark you keep crawling back to.

__

Breakfast is a lonely affair; you had to lay off the staff, and since you’re not well-versed in the art of making them yourself, you’ve taken to visiting the pub alone for your meals. If you eat at all that day. Your dwindling wallet means you cut out more and more food, eventually getting to the point of simply ordering a cup of coffee and staring at it until it cools. Every day, the circles under your eyes get darker and darker; every day, you pawn more furniture and hand the money over to one of Morvell’s leering agents.

Morvell. You think about the way his hand would linger on your shoulder, how long his hugs were, the uncomfortable look on your father’s face when he would run his hand over your hair or squeeze your arm. Every happy memory comes with new horrifying detail. You thought he was paternal, the family friend he made himself out to be.

Your stomach churns. You turn your head from your coffee and press your knuckles against your teeth, shoving the cup to the other end of the table before you put your head in your hands.

You need to find a way to end this. You need to find a way to beat Morvell away from you long enough you can gather the resources to ruin him. Revenge is an expensive project — and right now, you simply don’t have the means to put anything in motion.

You wonder, briefly, if Jacob has spoken to Morvell yet; you don’t hold out much hope. There’s not much he’s liable to do if Morvell is one of his fiscal assets. You’re foundering in shark-infested waters. You’re sinking.

Out of instinct, you look up as the door to the pub opens, your fingers laced against your mouth and your leg shaking underneath the table. A flash of green catches your eye, and the embryo of a plan starts to form in your skull while a trio of Rooks shakes down the pub owner for half the earnings in his safe. Maybe — maybe you could turn this in your favor. Maybe you could get an in.  Maybe you can earn a few guineas in the process.

You fish your payment out of your wallet and place it on the tabletop, not paying attention to anything but the group of greens making their way onto the street. You almost run up and kiss each of them — they’ve given you the best idea you’ve had in months.

“I would like some employment,” you say, hands folded in your lap. Jacob tries not to laugh — he really does. But there’s only so much a man can take before his façade breaks down, and he ends up howling in your face, along with the rest of his goons.

“You want — hold on,” he wipes his eyes, “you want me to give you a job? Doing what? ”

“Figure something out. Your sister’s a smart woman; steal some of her ideas.” He frowns.

“And why would I do that?”

“Well, since Thomas Morvell has taken every last penny that I have,” to make a point, you pull out your last handful of money — it’s barely enough to cover a train fare. “I believe I deserve some recompense. In the form of gainful employment.”

“I said I was going to talk to him.”

“And how has that gone?” His silence is all the response you need. “It’s either that or I’m out on the street. Because of your little operation.”

Jacob Frye changes before your eyes. Now he looks at you in a new light — you’re not an unfortunate casualty in his silly make-believe war anymore. Now you’re something else. Something valuable.

An asset.

“Manipulative little prick,” he says, though it’s not unkind; it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that there’s admiration there. “Do you do this with everyone you meet?”

“More or less; such is the nature of business and capital, Mr. Frye.” He hums.

“Never been one for either,” he taps his finger against the tabletop. “I think I just might have some use for you.”