#I’m sure others have some helpful tips to add to so please feel free to reblog/comment with what you find useful!

[zuppizup]

Hi Zuppi! Sorry if this is a bother, but I was really curious how you (and fic authors in general) plan longfics?

I've been working on a couple really steadily (by some ADHD miracle) and I've hit the point where I really need to start planning them out, but I genuinely don't know how.

Do you do it chapter by chapter, or is it more just a vauge idea? How do you know how long something's going to be, or how much time to spend on it?

Thank you so much 😊

Both your asks made it through, but I’ll stick them in one so as to not clog up your notifs. 😊 And no bother at all! It’s always fun to get asks!

I have been asked this before, but it was some time ago and, oof, Tumblr search. I managed to track down those replies, where I go a little more in depth in to my, cough, “process”. They’re here and here.

I guess, first of, you need to get a feel for whether you’re a planner or a panster. There’s pros and cons to each and I don’t think anyone’s really truly one or the other, but most of the writers I talk to do lean one way or another. There’s really nothing wrong with writing and seeing where the story takes you. You don’t have to plan out a story and I’ve certainly written fics where I just started with a vibe and then ran with it. In fact, one of the fics I enjoyed writing the most (Rumour has it…) was pretty much written based on a couple of ideas I thought would be dumb, along with a vague “Rayllum ending”. The rest of the fic, the characters sort of wrote themselves.

Having said that, I am generally a planner and I do generally have pretty detailed plans. 😅

If you also prefer to plan, again, there’s no right way or wrong way to do it. You could have an ending in mind and need to find a way to get there. Or perhaps there’s an inciting incident you want to write but you don’t know how to resolve it. In that case, what are all the things that could happen? What are they things they definitely wouldn’t? Why? Honestly, some of the most enjoyable things I’ve written were stories where I took what was most likely to happen and then threw that idea out the window.

Personally, once I have a rough beginning, middle and end, I break those down into more manageable chunks. I’ll note plot points I want hit or character arcs I have planned and then where they occur. As I said in the links above, I tend to do this in a spreadsheet at this stage, because I find it easy visualise connected plot elements that way and I can quickly rearrange them. A lot of my fics also involve actual dates or action that has to occur around particular moon phases, and I personally find that easier to visualise and manage in a spreadsheet.

So, a basic first pass might be something like this (from Husk)

Generally before I even get here, I know the beginning, middle and end, as well as a few major plot points along the way, but once I start writing this sort of thing out, more ideas flow and it’s easier to add to them.

Beginning - Rayla cursed by Claudia

Callum finds Rayla cursed

Struggles to accept it’s fatal

Glimpse of improvement only to hear terrible news

Middle - Callum attempting to find a cure

Distraction - Rayla’s parents and Runaan decoined

Strained relationships

Ezran arrives for help and support

End - Possible cure found

Things not as they seem.

Temptation and resolve

Conclusion

Usually from here ideas start to flow and I’ll begin to organise by “chapters” though they invariably change a lot in the planning process. Once I’ve got to this point though, I’ll usually have a pretty feel for the whole fic and ideas flow on from each other. Some nitty gritty stuff I honestly ignore in the planning stage. If it’s, say some spell I need or a conflict that I know “will” happen, I’ll add a place holder (e.g. [research spell] [Rayllum disagreement]) and then move on, because I don’t want to get distracted by things I can work out later. Durning my brainstorming time, I really trying to get the idea written down before it drifts on into the ether. Certain details can and usually are changed when it comes time to refine the whole thing.

How do I know how long a fic is going to be? Oh dear, I can already tell a number of people laughed at that question. I am utterly woeful at predicting how long my fics are going to be. Woeful. I thought I could wrap up Zoom-mates in three chapters. It’ll be over 250k by the time I finish posting. Someone asked me if I thought Purgatory would get to 70k and I thought “jeez, 70k?! Imagine!” Likely to be closer to 170k, all in. Even Rumour has it… went twice as long as I had planned.

So in that aspect, I very much cannot help you. 😆

I try! I bunch together plot points and group them into chapters, but invariably I go over, it’s just a matter of by how much. I want to say I’m getting better at predicting, but I think it’s more I’ve conceded defeat and acknowledged I am not in charge of that aspect of my fics.

So after all that talk of planning (which again, is just how I write, but there are many, many pansters among the Rayllum writers and they write gold), onto what I think is really the most important aspect of planning…

Once you have a plan (however detailed), I honestly think the most important thing is to ensure you don’t rigidly stick to it. I don’t mean throw the plan out, but if you find you’re forcing writing or the story doesn’t feel right, the plan might need adapting. Maybe a subplot went places you didn’t initial envisage or character’s motivations were changed by the events that led you to where you are. Don’t be afraid to change the plan, even if you initially thought it was perfect or you’re afraid of “wasting” ideas. I don’t delete anything. If something just isn’t working, then I “scrap” it, banishing it to a seperate document so that it doesn’t distract me from my current project. I’ve recycled plenty of stuff by doing this, and even if I abandon some of it, I think any time spent writing is time spent learning and improving, so it’s worth it all the same.

If while writing you finding yourself caught up writing dialogue or introspection, go with it. You might not use it, but if you’re really in the zone, if the characters or setting are really speaking to you, I think it’s best to run with that and decided if you’re going to use it after. Even if it doesn’t get published in the fic, it likely is telling you something about your story.

I hope this ramble is helpful. I can only talk to my process and experience. I’ve no training in writing, I merely like quiet hobbies and get very obsessed with things.

I’m sure others have some helpful tips to add to, so please feel free to reblog/comment with what you find useful!

[miam0re]

Somebody Might Catch Us | Honkai Star Rail

Warnings: Semi-public risky sex, fingering(blade), blowjob(Welt), teasing(giving and receiving), more stuff i probably missed

Summary: Sex but with the risk of doing it in public. How exciting!

Pairings: Dan Heng, Blade, Welt Yang, Gepard X Fem!Reader (Separate)

Mia's Notes: I'm finally writing for Star Rail as well 😎 okay my favourite is DEFINITELY Welt Yang with his whole DILF vibes like uh hello those wrinkles under his eye?!?!? Please do me already heueuehe. Y'all can drop some more ideas in my inbox if y'all want <3

“Are…Are you sure about this?” He gulped nervously, eyes flitting down to where your skirt was hiked up over your hips, your bare skin shaded aquamarine under the dim lights of the archives room. Wrapping your arms and legs around him, you tugged him close enough to hover over you as leaned back on the table, whispering a seductive ‘yes’ into his ear. Your body was so inviting when he sank his dick into your warm pussy, all worries about anyone walking into the unlocked room have drained from his thoughts. At first, he’s slow, thinking he can satisfy his lust with just a little feel of your amazing body. But with every passing thrust, his pace increased till he started rutting into you like an animal in heat, muffling your moans and cries with his mouth on yours. His hands grab your thighs and push them up, angling his cock to hit you deeper and deeper each time. “I…I’m going to cum…going to cum inside…” His steamy breath fanned over your neck, teeth sinking into the flesh as he released all his essence into you, thrusting it deeper and deeper. Can’t risk spilling a drop over the table now, can you?

“Shhhh, keep quiet now, the others are right on the other side of the wall.” He’s got a mean glimmer in his blood red eyes as he mercilessly fingers your cunt, free hand pinning your wrists above you. You’re helpless under his grip as he taunts you with pinches to your clit, testing your restraint. The way your eyes are screwed shut and how you bite your bottom lip, you’re tempting him to play with you further. His fingers squelch into your cunt with rough movements that make you spasm. He peppers reassuring kissing along your jawline, as if that would comfort the way he adds a third finger to his ministrations, pressing against your fleshy g-spot. “My, my. Look at the way you’re dripping all over my fingers. Are you enjoying this that much? The thought that someone might see how naughty you are being for me?” A whimper escaped your lips at his honeyed voice, laced with lust and hunger to see you writhing even further. His speed increases and so does your desire to scream and come undone over his fingers. Perhaps in the next moment or so…we’ll see what happens first.

“You are quite an impatient one, aren’t you?” He chuckles in a husky voice, caressing your hair as you kneel between his legs. Your hands rest on his inner thighs, eyes glazed over in desire, gawking at his cock. “You do know that the others will return soon. I don’t think they’ll be pleased seeing us doing such…acts in the parlour cabin.” He hisses when your tongue licks the tip of him, before wrapping your lips around the head to get a taste. “Well then we’d better hurry, don’t you think so, Mr.Yang?” You look up at him with a gaze so submissive, he can’t help but smile and grab your chin, parting your lips for his cock to enter your mouth again. He chokes a gasp when you immediately start sucking and bobbing your head to fit his thick cock in your mouth. Your tongue slurps and swallows every drop of his precum, the taste making you crave for the main course as well. “Ah, ah, slow down, Little One. What’s the fun if you’re going to bring me to cum so easily.” He sighs and grabs the hair on your scalp, pulling you and bringing you to a pause. “Go slow, and really savour it.”

“J-just be still and don’t make too much of a sound, okay?” Gepard stutters while fumbling with his armour, trying to release his throbbing cock from its confines. “I didn’t know you were this horny. Should have told me sooner.” You giggled, pressing your chest against the wall in a random alleyway, pulling your skirt up and shaking your bare ass at him. His eyes widened as he pumped his heavy cock a few times, before grabbing your hips and stuffing you full in a single thrust. You gasped and threw your head back against his shoulder. “I’m sorry, sorry. I haven’t had a moment alone with you in a while. Couldn’t wait.” He’d become so blinded with lust that the moment he saw you walking around while he was on patrol, he dragged you into an alleyway to sink his cock into your cunt. “Feels so good…” He kisses your neck to muffle his moans as he snaps his hips into yours, pushing you further into the wall. He grinds deeper into you, holding your thrashing body in a tight grip. “Stay still…need to cum…so bad.” But how can you stay still when his cock makes you feel so good, sending shivers through you? You’ll have to be quiet for a while, he probably won’t stop after just once.

[simmerandwrite]

Sink Into Me - 08 - mob!Steve Rogers x plus size!reader

Pairing: mob boss! Steve Rogers x plus size! reader

Summary: You were simply doing a good deed, pulling the handsome stranger out of the way when a car jumped the curb. Little did you know that the life you saved belonged to Steve Rogers, the Army veteran turned art dealer with connections to the Brooklyn crime syndicate.

Steve Rogers, who won’t stop calling you his guardian angel.

Steve Rogers, whose new goal in life just might be repaying his debt to you.

Steve Rogers, who isn’t shy until it comes to his feelings and will stop at nothing to keep you safe.

Chapters: 01 02 03 04 05 06  07 08 09

Wordcount: 8.3k

Warnings: canon level violence (guns, physical fighting), allusions to dog fighting (but no mention of any kind of abuse), some angst

Notes: HI I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY. life, ya know? but enjoy this little treat, please. and.. uhm.. sorry.

---

“We need to talk about Steve Rogers.”

You took in a hard breath and scanned the man - he had a permanent smug look to him, something that made you feel unsettled. The tag around his neck with his badge indicated his name was Grant Ward, NYPD detective. 

“Give me back my phone,” you said, slowly emptying your lungs in an attempt to stay calm. “Now.”

Ward shook his head, grinning. “Not yet. C’mon, let’s chat.” He slipped your phone inside his jacket pocket and grabbed your elbow, urging you to step further across the sidewalk in front of a closed down shop. “I got your info from Hammond’s file. You were a witness on a little vehicular assault case a while back, right?”

Nothing about this felt proper or to procedure. But you wanted it to end as quickly as possible, so you nodded. 

“What I need to know is why Steve Rogers asked you to lie on your witness report and identify the wrong person.” 

“Excuse me?” Your voice cracked as you tried to piece together what he was saying. “I didn’t lie about anything. Shouldn’t - shouldn’t Officer Hammond be following up with me - if there was an issue?”

“I’ve reopened the investigation.” Ward leaned against the building, glancing up and down the street casually as he spoke. “Your intentional misidentification put someone innocent in jail. How do you sleep at night?”

“I didn’t lie,” you repeated, swallowing hard. Hercules paced at your feet. 

“You’re lying right now. Rogers told you who to point out in that police lineup, didn’t he?”

You wanted to scream in this man’s face but given he was technically a person of the law, you resisted. Instead, you pursed your lips and opted to stay quiet. Shouldn’t you have a lawyer or something to represent you? God, why weren’t you into legal dramas instead of reality tv?

“Here’s what it looks like. Rogers asks you to help him out and in turn, you get a fancy new apartment. Isn’t that right?” Ward took a step forward and pointed past you, towards the rest of the block. “How else can you afford a luxury apartment working your little 9-5 gig? I verified your record of employment and something just doesn’t add up.”

Before you had a chance to reply to his asinine claim, he was reaching for his buzzing phone. “This is Ward.” You tried to listen to the other end of the call, but couldn’t make out the voice. 

He looked back at you, eyes roving up and down as he carried on with his phone conversation. “You’re kidding. That was all true? Wow. Okay. Yeah, I’m with her. Sure.” He raised his free hand and suddenly a nearby SUV was pulling up. “Heading there now.”

Your stomach twisted when Ward turned back to you. 

“Let’s go.” He tipped his head towards the vehicle, where the driver had gotten out to open the back door. “We’ve gotta move this chat elsewhere.”

Your eyes blew open, head shaking. “Absolutely not. Give me my phone and —“

Ward stepped towards you again, grabbing your hand that was holding onto Hercules' leash. “If you don’t get in that car willingly, you’ll have a dead dog on your hands. Is that what you want?” He flashed you a smile. “Let’s. Fucking. Go.”

--

“Storm coming tonight..”

Steve looked up from his plate of pasta, watching his mom across the table as she put down her cutlery. Sarah rubbed her hands together, tired with the weight of time and the pressure of weather changes that seemed to grow worse with each passing season. 

“I can feel it in these old joints,” Sarah continued, leaning back in her chair before glancing to the window above her kitchen sink.

“Ma,” Steve finally replied, quietly returning his own fork to the side of his plate. “Why don’t you skip the rest of this monologue about the weather and tell me what’s really on your mind?”

Steve tried to have dinner with his mother at least once a week, if time permitted. The last few months had been a bit chaotic for him though, mostly his own doing of course. And Sarah hadn’t pressed when he canceled. But, something about her tone and strange casual conversation wasn’t sitting well with him. In fact, he could read his mother really well and she was upset, maybe even mad at him. If there was one thing Steve hated, it was when his mother was upset with him.

He liked to nip it in the bud as quickly as he could.

Sarah sighed, slowly crossing her arms over her chest as she eyed down her son. “I haven’t had the chance to tell you about who I ran into at the hospital a few weekends ago.”

“You gonna give me a clue?” Steve smirked, taking a long pause to enjoy a sip from his wine glass. “Who?”

When your name left his mother’s lips, Steve felt his chest tighten. He had very quickly and casually explained to her that you and he had called things off, respectfully asking Sarah not to press him for details. Surprisingly, she hadn’t asked any follow up questions, though Steve knew she hadn’t been feeling positive about the news. In fact, he had assumed his mom would have had a much more passionate reaction. And maybe it was still coming.

He took a deep breath. “Oh. And.. how is she?” Would it be possible for this conversation to only last one more sentence? Would he be able to get out of it without his mother making him feel any worse?

When Steve met his mom’s gaze again, he knew that question wasn’t what he should have asked. He was starting to think maybe saying nothing would have been best.

“How is she?” Sarah repeated, letting out a hard laugh. “Steven.”

“Ma, listen, what happened between us is..” He hesitated. Complicated was not the word he wanted to use, but what else could he say? “I had to cut things off. She’s safer this way.” 

There. His heart was torn off his sleeve and slapped onto his plate. 

“Steve,” Sarah was softer this time, releasing the anger from her shoulders as she reached across the table for his hand. “You’re not being fair. To yourself. How are you supposed to live this way? Don’t you want a family in the future? Or a break from.. everything?”

Steve squeezed her hand but didn’t respond. Sarah waited another moment for him to say something, then stood and carried her plate to the sink. 

Without turning back around, she continued. “I told her about Hamilton House.”

Steve sighed, leaning back in his chair again and shaking his head. “Ma..”

“Why didn’t you just talk to her? She would have understood.”

“You barely made it out of that fire alive!” Steve pushed back from the table and met his mother at the sink, placing a hand on her shoulder. “And I can barely live with myself as is, but if something happened to her too, I’d..”

“Honey,” Sarah’s voice was even quieter now as she pivoted to look at him. She reached her hand up to cradle his face. “You need to stop blaming yourself, please.”

How could he ever do that? The scars were still quite obvious on many parts of his mother’s body - 

“Steve.” Sarah took in another deep breath. “I’m a grown woman who can take care of herself. And so is she.” There was your name again, coming off of Sarah’s tongue like it just warmed her soul. “She’s good for you.”

“That doesn’t matter anymore.” A painful laugh gurgled up in Steve’s throat. “I made pretty sure she’ll never talk to me again, unfortunately.”

“Steven.” This time the soft edge had left Sarah’s tone. The disappointment was back. “Don’t tell me you pushed that girl away on purpose.”

“I’m a grown man who can take care of himself,” Steve repeated back to her, stepping away from the sink and turning to grab his coat. “I’ve gotta go, Ma. Thanks for dinner.”

Sarah grabbed his wrist, eyes bright with words she wouldn’t say. Instead, she shook her head and sighed quietly. “At least take a container of pasta for Bucky.”

---

The further the vehicle traveled beyond your neighbourhood, the further your stomach sank. You did your best to listen to the conversations happening between Ward and his driver, but nothing seemed clear. 

Where were you going? Were you in trouble? You hadn’t lied to the police - you knew better than that. But how could you prove that when clearly they had another story created? Was this about Steve? You weren’t even talking to him. What the hell was going on?

The only thing saving you from a breakdown was Hercules resting his head on your lap. Gently you scratched behind his ears, doing your best to reassure your dog as he did the same for you. 

You were going to be okay. There had to be a positive solution to this mess. 

Eventually, the vehicle slowed down in an industrial area you weren’t familiar with. In the growing darkness of the night, everything kind of looked the same - rows of large warehouse style buildings, some in much worse shape than the others. As you approached one of the buildings, a garage door opened up to allow you access.

“Let’s go,” Ward barked out as the car stopped, quickly sliding through his door and throwing the one closest to you open. He reached for your nearest wrist. “But first..”

Handcuffs. What you could only assume were police-grade handcuffs joined your wrists together, despite your protests. Ward was choosing every opportunity to remind you he had a gun, so when he told you to head towards the staircase leading out of the parking area, all you could do was comply.

The driver, some other nameless brute listening to Ward’s every word, held on to Hercules’ leash and followed behind. The panic within you stirred.

The building had clearly once been a thriving warehouse or multi-level business hub. Now, it was reduced to whatever criminal activity these men were tied up in. Every second window was boarded up or leaking in cold air through broken shards, with the evidence of previous occupants littering the floors. Old desks, chairs, appliances laid strewn about.

Ward guided you across the second floor, leading towards the far side of the room. You could hear other voices as you approached. He yanked the door open and pressed against your back for you to enter ahead of him.

You stumbled past the threshold, lifting your head up to look around the room. It felt out of place, given the state of the building. This room remained intact from days before, the remnants of an executive office with a large boardroom table sitting opposite the broken windows. A man you didn’t recognize was seated behind an oversized mahogany table, a burning cigar hanging off his lips. Behind him, a disheveled blond wearing an ill-fitting suit jacket stood scrolling through his phone.

That man you did recognize – you were certain he had been one of the men who had broken into your apartment. You could feel the familiar wave of panic come over you again.

Sitting in a pair of chairs in front of the desk were another two men – one dressed in a long overcoat over his suit, with perfectly coiffed hair. The other donned more casual clothes, well worn with a scowl across his face, strong and silent. You thought perhaps you recognized them, too. You might have seen them at Shield or maybe they had worked with Steve? 

“This is her?” The man with the cigar asked, rising from his seat. The other two seated men had turned their heads to look in your direction, then stood the same. 

Ward laughed, returning his gun to his jacket, and reaching a hand to grip your neck. He urged you closer to the desk. 

“Russo – you’re sure?” The same man asked again, shooting a glance at one of the other two men. Ah, nice suit, nice hair - Russo. He had interrupted you and Steve, that day at his office.

“Yep. I know, doesn’t make sense to me either,” Russo replied with a dry laugh, stepping away from the desk and waiting to the side with the other man, Mr. Strong and Silent.

“Walker, you’re on dog duty,” Ward added after. He snapped his fingers and the guy scrolling on his phone was at attention, rolling his eyes as he grabbed Hercules’ leash from the driver. 

Hercules whimpered at the back of the room.

You tried to look towards your confused pup, but Ward’s hands landed on your shoulders. He pushed down to encourage you to sit in one of the vacant seats at the desk.

Finally, the man with the cigar looked at you. A tight smirk curled up on his face as he said your name out loud. “Well, nice to finally meet you. I’m Brock. We’ve got a lot to discuss.”

You sat still, hands resting on your lap. You resisted replying with some snappy commentary and instead dug your fingernails into your palms. Maybe you needed to comply, but God, what was the point of all this?

“I’m not really sure what I’m doing here,” you said quietly, letting out a long breath. “I told him-” you jerked your head at Ward, “-everything I said to Officer Hammond was true. Steve didn’t ask me to lie about anything and I’m sorry if someone you know ended up in jail but I had to tell the truth.”

Brock raised an eyebrow, amused. “Well, I don’t give a shit about any of that. We’ve gotta fix this and you’re going to help.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line. 

“You’re going to meet with Hammond and tell him you lied about-”

You shook your head. “I didn’t lie.”

Brock abandoned his cigar and slammed his hand on the table. “Don’t interrupt me, darling.” He took a breath and started again. “You’re going to meet with Hammond tomorrow morning and set things straight, alright?”

“And if I don’t?” You swallowed the lump in your throat as you asked your question. 

Brock leaned back in his chair, grinning. “You’re really asking that? Damn. Well, if you don’t - you’re never going to see your dog again, for starters.”

Your face fell and you shuffled in the chair again, turning to look back towards Hercules. “Please don’t hurt him.”

“What do you think, Walker? The mutt would be good for the pit, huh? They could use some fresh meat for the next fight.”

You gasped as Hercules pulled at his leash, trying to walk to you. Walker held the leash tight.

“P-please. Don’t. He doesn’t deserve that, he’s just..” Your voice shook as you turned and looked back at Brock. “Okay, fine. I’ll talk to Hammond.” You just had to agree and get out of here. Once you were home, you could call the police station and tell them the truth and and and–

“Hammond is expecting you first thing tomorrow morning at the station.” Ward was looking down at your phone, tapping away at the screen. Great, he was just sending messages on your behalf. You hated that. Clearly you were not getting your phone back. Fuck, how were you going to get out of this?

“Now,” Brock leaned onto his elbows on the desk, returning his cigar to his mouth for a long drag. “Let’s talk about Rogers.”

You gulped.

“I need every little dirty secret you’ve got,” Brock said with a snap of his fingers. “Let’s go. Talk.”

“I don’t..” You faltered, glancing around the room quickly. Russo was watching you carefully while his partner seemed to be preoccupied with his feet, his eyes were drawn down. “I don’t know what you think I might know.. Steve and I.. We.. He broke up with me a while ago.”

A laugh escaped Brock. “I heard that wasn’t the case.”

Russo stepped forward. “Rogers took you home from Shield a few weekends ago, did he not? Drove you right back into your apartment then even walked you to the door?”

You stilled. Why did these men know about that? Were they following you? Or Steve? How did they know where you lived?

“I don’t know anything, I swear. Even when we were..” You closed your eyes. “We didn’t talk about business.”

“You know, I don’t believe you.” Brock let out a frustrated huff and tapped his cigar ash to the floor. “Let’s start easy, alright? Rogers has a ledger, the Bible for all his transactions. Where does he keep it?”

You shrugged. “I honestly have no idea. I don’t remember ever seeing a ledger or–”

“Bullshit.” It was Russo jumping in now. “You were fucking him for months. Christ, give us something.”

If you shifted your head back and forth in a shake anymore, you were going to give yourself whiplash. “I-I don’t, really.” You didn’t like how they were both crowding in on you, guns visible on their hips as their voices escalated. “Steve didn’t tell me things - he.. I didn’t..”

“Where does he keep his safe? What buildings did he take you to?” Brock continued on, reciting any thought or question that seemed to jump into his head. “I need to know which Senator is really in his pocket. And what he promised to Rhodes.”

You repeated yourself again and again and again as they bombarded you. “I don’t know, I don’t know! He would never tell me those things.”

“Think harder then.” Brock stood up in a fury, circling the desk to plant himself in front of you. “I need something fucking useful.”

Squeezing your eyes shut, you tried to think of something, anything to stop this. Everything you retained about Steve wouldn’t be what they wanted - that he was an old soul, a gentleman who kept your best interests at heart. Who loved old musicals and his mother. Who cared deeply about things but had hurt you deeply, too. None of that would have been helpful so what the fuck were you supposed to do?

“I..” You let out a breath. Would it be worth it to lie?

“If you say ‘you don’t know’ one more goddamn time..” Brock leaned forward, closing in the space between you and reaching for your jaw. He held it between his fingers, keeping you in his grasp waiting for an answer. 

When you didn’t respond, Brock growled and reached for his cigar, flipping it in his fingers and bringing the burning end closer and closer to your exposed neck. You could feel the heat before it even touched your skin and all you could do was scream in anticipation. 

“I don’t– please! Please don’t-” You pressed yourself into the chair, trying to get as far away from him as possible. But, the burning sensation never came.

“Hey–” This was a new voice. The Strong and Silent man lingering near Russo had rushed between you and Brock, shoving him away before the cigar made contact with your skin.  “You said you weren’t going to hurt her.”

Brock pushed him back. “This has nothing to do with you, Castle. Back the fuck off.” 

Castle didn’t move - acting as a barricade between you and Brock. They stood at a standstill, and eventually Brock let out a long dramatic sigh. “Ward.” He snapped his fingers again and Ward came forward. Once again, a hand landed on your shoulder.

“Take her up to the roof.”

---

“Do we not fucking knock anymore?” Steve called out as Bucky burst into his office, dragging Peter by the collar as he did.

Steve’s patience had run thin following dinner with his mother. She had managed to stir everything else up again, the feelings Steve was desperately trying to eliminate from his heart. Yet, they hadn’t dulled over time like he wanted. They remained steady, as steady as the beat of his heart. 

“She’s good for you.”

On top of that, they had managed to clear out most of the out of territory drug dealers creeping into Brooklyn. But it hadn’t really stopped. The drugs still found their way in, and the problems were escalating moreso. Angry clients, aggravated partners, a particularly frustrated future Mayor who needed Steve’s compliance and trusted network underground for insight. 

The last thing Steve wanted to deal with now was another issue. But when Steve saw the panicked look in Bucky’s eyes as he grabbed Peter’s shirt, Steve paused.

“Show him.” Bucky urged Peter forward, eyes wide in a panic. “Now.”

Steve stood from his chair slowly, meeting the young man in the middle of his office. “What’s going on? Is this about Beck again?”

“No, sir. No. It’s uh..” Peter’s hand was shaking as he gripped his cellphone, tapping on the screen before he glanced between Bucky and Steve again. “I keep an eye on social media - mostly just to see what’s happening, who’s hanging out where. My friend Ned he..” Peter shook his head. “Whatever. No one knows it’s me who watches their stuff. So. I was clicking through John Walker’s Instagram stories - that guy is an idiot, by the way. Always trying to bait women to find him at clubs or wherever. And..”

Peter tapped through something on his screen then turned it toward Steve. “Mr. Barnes said he recognized the dog in the background of this video..” 

Steve snatched the phone and pressed play on the screen recording. John Walker was in the middle of the frame, filming himself with the front camera as he talked about which bar he’d be showing up at later. But none of that mattered to Steve. What did matter was the dog tied up in the background, pulling at his lead as he started to bark. 

“Christ. Sorry about the mutt. Dealing with something for work..” 

Steve raised his eyes from the screen, eyebrows furrowed. “When was this posted?”

Peter swallowed before he replied. “About 20 minutes ago.”

Bucky turned to Steve. “Is that..?”

All Steve could do was growl, shoving the phone back at Peter. “Send that to me. Right now.” Steve reached for his own phone, heading out the door of his office towards the primary club facilities. Bucky was at his feet, asking what he could do to help. 

“Buck, call Kate. I need a timestamp for when Hercules was picked up.” 

Bucky nodded and tore off, phone to his ear. 

Steve called Clint directly. “Barton, I need your help.”

---

Kate confirmed you had picked up Hercules just before they closed. She didn’t notice anything concerning, aside from your general demeanor seeming quiet. 

Clint reviewed security footage outside your apartment building entrance, back door and lobby. No sign of you. It’s possible you had picked up your dog then gone elsewhere, but Steve wasn’t convinced. 

Fuck. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

Steve paced his office again and again, waiting desperately for some information. Peter and Thor had stolen off to a few well known bars to see if they could track down Walker or any of his friends. 

Clint had gone to your building to troll the neighborhood and seek out any additional video footage that might help. 

Steve called Vision to see if he could connect with Wanda to get some information about where you might be, without leading to anything especially suspicious. 

Steve needed to know where you were and if you were okay. Truthfully, he wouldn’t be able to settle until he knew you were safe - until he saw you himself. 

This was the fucking risk, wasn’t it? Letting you in. People were going to use your relationship against him. It was staring him right in the face all along. Fuck, how could he live with himself if you got hurt?

Steve let out a fit of rage that had been brewing within him. He grabbed the rocks glass off his desk, still half full of melting ice, and sent it flying into the back of his door. 

God fucking damnit. He didn’t like any of this. With no news from Vision and Wanda, his mind was going to bad places.

Steve stalked across the broken glass and threw his door open, grabbing his coat as he left. He found Bucky downstairs at the bar, phone in hand as Natasha leaned beside him. 

“Please tell me someone has some fucking news to share,” Steve growled out as he approached. He didn’t even have to ask Natasha to pour him a drink, as it quickly appeared on the bar. 

“No Walker sightings yet,” Bucky said as he glanced at his phone. As he turned the screen, a new message appeared. 

The text didn’t contain any information or words, just a simple location pin. Bucky tapped on it, revealing an address on the outskirts of Brooklyn. 

“Who sent that?” Steve asked, eyeing over Bucky’s shoulder as he drained his glass. 

“No clue. I don’t know the number.” Bucky replied quietly. “No message either. Just a thumbs up emoji. But the timing is suspect.”

Steve shook his head. What did he have to lose? “Let’s go. Have Sam meet us there.”

---

You should have worn more layers, warmer clothes. Not that you anticipated being abducted on your way home. But you trusted the warm fall morning and now all you had was regret. A thin sweater barely kept you covered and the looming thunder overhead meant the threat of rain was very real. 

Ward had dragged you up the barren staircases to the roof, where he had then removed one of your handcuffs only to attach it to some external pipe system that hugged the outside wall of the building. You could sit on the dirty cold roof or stand and try to peer down, but nothing else. You were stuck. 

When you tried to plead with Ward  for your escape, he only smirked then offered an alternative. 

“Tell you what - if you get on your knees for me, I’ll remove the handcuffs altogether.”

As an answer to that proposal, you spit in his face. He really didn’t like that - which left you pushed to the ground and cuffed with no coverage from wind or impending rain. God fucking damnit. 

Once Ward disappeared through the door again, you yelled for help. If it made any lick of difference, you had no idea. There was another building very close by, yelling distance at least. But it looked abandoned just the same. On the other side of the roof, it looked like an emergency staircase existed. 

Not like you’d be able to escape. You seemed very stuck.

Were they going to leave you out there all night? Was this some scare tactic? What did they want from you - a detailed breakdown of everything you knew about Steve? You couldn’t do that - you wouldn’t. Despite the ricochet of emotions you had been through with Steve, you still felt.. something to him. Be it loyalty or kindness or whatever, you couldn’t throw him under the bus. 

Steve was a good person. You saw that in him often. But these men? You weren’t so sure. 

What if they left you until you had to meet with Hammond? Ten hours in the cold and rain. You could survive that, maybe. Maybe. 

Thunder rumbled above you. Rain started to fall. 

Fuck. Maybe not. 

In an attempt to make yourself as small as possible, you sat against the side wall and wrapped your free arm around yourself. It didn’t do much to protect you from the rain, but it helped retain what little body heat you still had. 

You weren’t sure how long you sat in the rain before you heard the access door burst open. You looked up and braced yourself, but felt almost relieved to see it wasn’t Ward again. 

It was Castle. 

He hesitated when he saw you, then quickly hurried in your direction. 

You closed your eyes in a panic. “I’m sorry - I don’t have anything to share about Steve  - I can’t remember if there was—”

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. I’m not here about that.” Castle crouched down in front of you. “I can’t let you go but let me help, alright?” He reached into his pocket and took out what looked like a Swiss Army knife. “I’ll get out of these cuffs at least.”

You braced yourself as he gently touched your wrist, using his tool to work through the lock mechanism. “Thank you.. uhm, Mr. Castle?”

He chuckled, barely. “Frank.”

You nodded, grateful as he freed your hand and left the cuffs dangling. “Thank you, Frank.”

“Over there,” Frank turned his head and pointed to the middle of the roof, where a small maintenance structure stood. It had a sloping roof that could provide more coverage. “Go. You’ll be covered at least.”

Frank got to his feet and offered you his hand. Once you were standing, he shrugged off his own heavy coat and handed it to you. 

“Frank,” you clutched the coat and met his gaze, eyes blurring from the rain. “Can you just.. make sure my dog is okay? Hercules? He’s a lover, not a fighter. But he’s all I have and- and..”

Frank gave you a curt nod. “Go.” He motioned back to the small shed and you nodded too. 

You had no idea why Frank was helping you. But you decided it had to be a good sign, right?

---

Steve had no idea what he was walking into. He had done this before – going in blind to certain situations was the nature of his entire job. It wasn’t always possible to anticipate who he would run into, if the person he trusted would deliver, if weapons were involved. But given his state of mind and the all-consuming worry he had about your wellbeing; he didn’t really care what he was faced with.

He just needed to figure out where you were and ensure you were safe. 

The location that had been sent to Bucky was outside of Brooklyn, just barely. Along an industrial neighbourhood, where plenty of abandoned factories and distribution centers lived, the coordinates lead them to a nondescript building. 

Steve and Bucky climbed out of the car, strapped with more than enough guns and ammunition to fight their way through whatever and whoever they were about to face. As they approached, Sam jogged into view, too.

“Thor couldn’t find Walker anywhere,” Sam provided as an update once they were waiting outside. “But Peter’s little tech friend managed to track a location for some recent postings to this general area..”

“Sounds like a likely place to look,” Bucky concluded, raising an eyebrow as he glanced at Steve.

Steve took in a deep breath, eyebrows narrowed as he gazed at the doors ahead of him. Raising his hands, he tugged at the collar of his coat and smoothed it out before nodding. He was ready to deal with this.

“If she’s anywhere in here, her safety is priority, you understand?” Steve glanced from Bucky back to Sam, waiting for their own nod of understanding. “If anyone put her in danger, they’re going to pay. But not at her expense.”

Bucky pressed his knuckles into his metal palm, a coy smirk raising on his lips. “Here’s hoping I get to fuck up Walker’s face again.”

Sam took the lead and yanked the dilapidated entry door open, busting open the lock mechanism with little effort. The main level they entered on was mainly being used for vehicle parking and what looked like some storage. A staircase led up to the next level.

Steve carried on - striding to the top of the staircase and heading through the doors. The entire building was in bad shape but this wasn’t their first rodeo.

Someone was hiding out somewhere. And when he found them, it wasn’t going to be pretty. 

“Sam - call everyone to be standby, including Thor and his brother. Get Barton to scope out next door, too. Lots of windows for coverage, the rooftop. Remind him about the Bullseye protocol.” Steve ran a hand through his hair then glanced to his right, motioning to the far door with Bucky. “You’re with me.”

In a few long strides, Steve reached the door and waited. Then, he raised a hand and knocked against it. Bucky stood behind his left shoulder. 

Someone on the other side of the door was yelling, then eventually they heard heavy stomping as someone approached. When the door opened, Steve didn’t hesitate - he leaped forward and reached for the collar of whoever it was. 

Steve growled. Grant Ward.

“Oh Jesus fucking–” Ward yelped out, trying to pull away from Steve’s grasp as Steve backed him into the room. “Take it fucking easy, Rogers. What the fuck are you–”

“Where is she?” Steve’s voice boomed, holding Ward in his grip as he glanced around the room. It was a fairly sparse leftover office, but sitting at the end of the large boardroom table was Billy Russo, Frank Castle and Brock Rumlow himself. A few other nameless thugs waited behind them, guns at the ready. “Where IS SHE?”

Steve threw Ward to the ground, reaching for his gun as the men at the table stood up and drew their own weapons, too. Bucky followed in behind Steve and kicked Ward down when he tried to get back on his feet.

“Stay down,” Bucky said to Ward. 

Rumlow moved from his spot slowly, waving his gun around and placing it down on the table as he walked towards Steve. “Rogers.”

Steve didn’t respond, darting his eyes from Rumlow back to Russo and Castle at the table. Russo looked away, suddenly preoccupied with anything else but Steve. Castle, though, also put his gun away.

“Rumlow.” Steve growled out your name this time. “Where. Is. She?”

Brock smirked. “Who? Oh.. yes. Sure. We just met. As far as I know, you two aren’t together anymore. What’s the concern?”

“If you fucking touched her-” Steve raised his hand again, gun pointing directly at Rumlow as they stood apart. “Tell me where she is.”

“Me and Russo have been talking. I think the three of us could be working together better. If you haven’t been picking off my dealers one by one, the pot could be a lot sweeter.”

“You and your drugs aren’t worthy of Brooklyn.” Steve stepped forward. “Tell me.”

“You know, I didn’t want us to meet like this.” Rumlow brought his hands up, in a faux act of surrender then slowly moved one of them forward to encourage Steve to put his weapon down. “In fact, I went through a lot of trouble to keep your pretty face away from here.”

“Not much trouble, it seems. And it sounds like you have a mole,” Steve shot back, sparing a quick glance back around the room. Russo looked away again but Steve met Castle’s eyes for a beat, then turned back to Rumlow. “Loyalty is rare around these parts.”

“Speaking of loyalty - your girl.” Rumlow stepped back and let out a long breath.

Steve matched him and stepped forward, raising his gun up once more. “If you laid one fucking hand on her–”

“I’ll tell you where she is after we chat, alright? I need a promise from you - to share the territory.”

Steve huffed, lips pursed as he scanned Rumlow’s face. “Tell me where she is.” Steve could hear Bucky shuffling behind him, metal fist clenched, growing just as impatient as Steve was. 

“Nah.” Rumlow shrugged, glancing around the room. “If you won’t negotiate, my lips are sealed. I still need her, gotta clear something up with the cops. Then, I don’t know. I guess she’s nice enough on the eyes, bit thicker than what I usually go for but maybe I’ll get her to warm my bed for a–”

Steve wasn’t an idiot. Rumlow was baiting him. And god fucking damnit it worked. Steve surged ahead, letting out another growl of rage as he attacked Rumlow with his fists.

On the other side of the room, Ward slid over to kick against Bucky’s knee - angering Bucky all the same. Sam rushed in to join them at the first sound of chaos. It wasn’t quite contained and really, it didn’t come as a surprise that everyone in the room was more than prepared for a fight. Rumlow’s extra lackeys seemed more than charged enough for the action. Bucky easily took care of Ward on his own, as Sam darted between helping Steve with Rumlow and the others as Russo tried to keep his distance. 

“Where is she?” Steve had Rumlow on the ground, pummeling his fists into Rumlow’s jaw. He didn’t get a response, as the sound of gunshots sounded out, ending with shards of glass flying across the floor. In a brief moment of hesitation after, Steve took in the rest of the room. 

Russo had slipped out. Castle too. 

“Sam!” Steve stood quickly, keeping his foot against Rumlow’s neck. 

Sam hurried over and tagged in as Steve rushed through the door to follow where the other two had gone. Running towards the staircase, he looked upwards and could hear the distinct sound of hurrying feet and the slamming of a metal door.

He bounded up the stairs towards the roof.

---

The rain continued to fall, although it had at least slowed down to a cool drizzle. It didn’t mean much since you were already soaking wet, though the coat from Castle had helped. It hadn’t really fit you but the extra layer kept you marginally more comfortable, despite the fatigue and hunger setting in. Was anyone else going to check on you? Would Castle come back to help?

Did.. did Steve know what was going on? Although - how would he even find out? Fuck, you kept going over everything again and again and again. The steps you took today, the conversation you had with Sarah a few weeks ago, Steve’s last words to you at your apartment…

You wish things had gone differently. Maybe in a different life or timeline, it might have all worked out.

Gunshots.

You could hear gunshots from somewhere nearby. Downstairs in the building, maybe. Truthfully, at least up on the roof, you were away from the reality of this situation - that these people had guns and clearly weren’t afraid to use them. Up there, in the rain, you could ignore all of that.

But no, here was the glaring reminder. A few more shots sounded out then it seemed to stop. You tried to keep ignoring it, laying your back flat against the wall of the structure until you heard the door open again. You couldn’t even bring yourself to look until you heard someone barking out your name. This time the voice belonged to Russo.

A set of footsteps tracked further onto the roof, but you held your safe position. Russo finally appeared ahead of you, a scowl etched on his face. “I thought Ward tied you up. Whatever, let’s go.” He grabbed your closest wrist, urging you away from your hiding space. You tried to yank yourself away.

“Please, I don’t want to-”

“Bill - come on, can’t we just drop all this?” Frank came into your eyeline next, looking you over quickly then back towards the door. “Rogers isn’t dumb, he’ll follow us up here anyway.”

Your heart jumped at Steve’s name. He was here, he was going to get you away from this.

Russo’s grip tightened on your wrist, though he turned to look at Frank. “The plan remains the same - we need her to talk to Hammond so Rogers can land some jail time. It’s the only way we can get ahead.”

Frank let out a noncommittal sigh. “Rumlow is a fuckin’ idiot. You don’t think his plan is to screw us over later too?”

“I don’t give a shit about that right now,” Russo growled, looking back towards you. “Let’s go.”

Frank hesitated again, but didn’t argue any further. You pleaded again as they took you to the far side of the roof, where the emergency fire escape stairs were. Russo let you go momentarily as he stalked over, peering down towards the stairs. 

“They should hold up, I hope” he said with a shrug, motioning his head for you to go. “Ladies first.”

You shook your head, taking a step back and glancing towards the door instead. “No, I..” You turned on your heel.

A gunshot sounded out behind you, loud and piercing. You screamed, eyes wide as you turned back. Russo was scowling again, holding his gun high as he shot it upwards into the sky. He lowered it slowly, pointing it at you directly instead. If that wasn’t enough of a warning. “Down you go. Now.” 

You glanced at Frank, who remained completely stoic as he looked between you and Russo. 

Suddenly, the door flew open again. You all turned to look.

A wave of relief flooded through you - it was Steve. He called your name as he walked towards you, never breaking his eye contact with you. In an instant, all your worries and doubts and everything seemed to shatter as he looked at you with such gentleness and grace.

Russo let out a hard laugh, waving his gun for a brief moment before aiming it back at you. “No time for your cute reunion. Let us walk away, Rogers.”

“Sweetheart,” Steve didn’t even bother replying to Russo, though he did stop in his tracks when he realized Russo had a gun pointed at you. But, Steve carried on, repeating your name. “Are you okay?”

You swallowed hard, jaw shaking as you nodded. 

Steve softened, for a fraction of a second. You knew he could tell you weren’t being honest. But what were you supposed to do? You were a hostage, soaking wet on a roof, with a gun pointed in your direction - no, you were not okay.

You watched as Steve transformed again, soft eyes replaced by hard lines, a tight jaw. He finally broke your gaze and turned his attention to Russo and Castle. “Let her go and we’ll all walk away from this unscathed.”

A loud laugh escaped Russo. “Right. I don’t think so. We’re walking away from this with the leverage we need.”

You watched as Steve took in a deep breath, then reluctantly put his hands up. “What do you want, Russo? Money, territory, names? What? I’ll give you whatever you want - just put your gun down and let her go.”

“You think I’m an idiot?” Russo shook his head. “No, I’m not playing this game.”

“This isn’t a fucking game,” Steve continued, reaching his hand slowly for his gun. He raised it up then just as quickly tossed it behind himself. “Please, Bill. Just leave her out of this.” 

“Billy..” Frank finally spoke up too. “Let’s call it, okay? Sounds like Rogers is willing to talk and–”

“No.” Russo took a step closer to you, gun firm in hand. “No, we’re going to–”

Before you realized what was happening, you weren’t even standing on your own two feet anymore. A flurry of noises rang out around you - screaming, gunshots, shouting. Someone had wrapped their arms around you – you fell towards the ground – you landed on.. Steve. It was Steve.

He had run towards you in the action, caging you in his arms as you both landed on the rooftop together. Safe. Alive. Steve shielded you with his own body from the noise and chaos happening around you. You didn’t know who had been shooting who, if anyone escaped or made it down the fire escape. All you knew is that you were safe, in Steve’s arms.

Steve was whispering out your name, again and again, like some sort of prayer on his lips. His words were wrapped in apologies, in cries for your safety, in hushed words that begged for reassurance. As everything else seemed to quiet down, he gently pushed himself up to peer down at you. 

“Sweetheart, I’m so–”

“Steve, it’s okay. I’m okay.. I’m..c-cold.” 

He shook his head and quickly shifted again, standing up and helping you back to your feet, too. He shrugged off his own jacket and draped it over you. Slowly, he raised his hand and slid it down the side of your face, wiping away stray droplets of water with his thumb. His palm was warm against your cheek, you could feel his whole heart pulsing as he held you. 

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m–”

“Steve!” Bucky’s voice broke you both from the spell. Steve reluctantly looked away from you, pivoting slightly as he looked towards Bucky running in their direction. Across the roof, both Frank and Russo were on their knees, hands wrapped behind their backs.  A makeshift bandage was wrapped around one of Russo’s biceps.

Wait, had someone shot him? It couldn’t have been Steve, he had put his gun down. Would Frank have..

Bucky leaned in slightly and mumbled into Steve’s ear, then they both looked across the roof towards the adjacent building. Bucky waved in that direction and Steve nodded, then they both turned back to you.

Before Steve could say anything else, you reached for his shirt. “Steve - you..we need to find Hercules. They said.. They..” You closed your eyes tight, head shaking as you tried to form your words. “They were going to take him somewhere to fight. I don’t know if..”

Bucky stood up tall again. He said your name firm, like a promise. “I’ll find him.”

As Bucky left, Steve wrapped his arms around you again - tighter this time. With one hand, he secured your back and the other cradled your head against his chest. He didn’t say anything and you couldn’t find any words either. 

---

You were back at Steve’s apartment. You thought you’d never see those big windows overlooking Brooklyn ever again and yet, there you were. Safe.

Safe and warm, following a long shower in Steve’s guest bathroom. Stripping away your damp clothes and stealing away into the stream for longer than probably necessary had been a nice escape. Especially given that Steve had driven you back to his place in silence - though it wasn’t as awkward as before. It just felt like maybe there were things you both needed to say but couldn’t bring yourself to mention yet.

Before you had left the building earlier, Steve hadn’t let you leave his sight. Well, except for about ten minutes where Bucky hovered over you instead.

Steve brought you inside, back downstairs to that same boardroom and office space. But this time, you weren’t faced with bad guys with guns. Well, the bad guys remained but the guns were gone.

All four of them were bound and seated at a chair. Ward’s head was lolled to the side, Brock had a bloody face, Russo and Castle were mostly left without much damage. But you had a feeling that wasn’t going to last.

Steve squeezed your hand, gently turning you away from looking at them. 

“Hey,” he said quietly, tipping your chin up with his thumb. “Can you tell me what happened? What they did?”

You swallowed hard, eyes wide for a moment as you considered his question. What was he going to do?

“Don’t overthink it, okay? Just tell me what you think I should know.”

You let out a breath then recounted everything. Ward ambushing you on the sidewalk, Brock threatening you, Russo joining in…

“But Frank he..” You finally spared a glance over your shoulder. Frank sat up straight in his chair, resigned to whatever fate awaited him. “He helped me. Tried to protect me, gave me his coat..”

Steve nodded, looking in Frank’s direction the same way. Steve called for Sam, then gave him another nod and Sam went to untie Frank from his chair. 

It was only a few moments later that Bucky showed up with Hercules, who - thank god - looked unharmed, if a little worked up. You couldn’t help but start to cry as you broke away from Steve and rushed to your son. 

But, It wasn’t lost on you how quickly Bucky led you away from the room with your dog. Or how the door shut behind you, leaving Steve and Sam in there with the rest of the men, the overlapping sounds and sounds of distress…

When you finally decided you had wasted enough water and regained all the proper feeling in your body, you shut off the water and let out a long sigh. Outside on the counter, folded neatly beside your warm towel, was some clothes you had left at Steve’s ages ago. Soft and clean layers to keep your temperature steady as you got ready for bed.

You supposed it was a choice you made - agreeing to go home with Steve instead of back to your own apartment. But you knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep there - not tonight. And you knew Steve would insist on staying and keeping guard outside your door anyway. So it made more sense this way.

After you changed, you found Hercules waiting for you in the hallway. You could hear Steve in the living room, speaking quite passionately on his end of a phone call.

“Jim, this is the only deal I’m making. Proof of your dirty cop aside, I’m handing you Rumlow alive on a silver platter, even though I should have let him bleed out. So you have to do this for me. I don’t give a fuck about protocol..” There was a heavy pause. “Every instance of her name on any police report - gone. I don’t want her attached to any of it, do you understand? No trace of her. I don’t care - redact it or burn it. Get that done and I’ll deliver Rumlow to you in the morning. Understood?” 

You knew you probably shouldn’t be listening, but it was your name he was mentioning.

“As for Russo, I’m dealing with that myself. But keep him on your radar. If you need another arrest to clench your win, you can have him once I’m done.”

You quietly slipped into the guest bedroom once you realized his call had ended. Once Hercules followed you in, you shut the door. Fuck. What happened now? Maybe you and Steve needed to talk about all of this - you definitely needed to talk about it.

You heard footsteps coming down the hallway towards the bedrooms and Steve stopped outside your door. You held your breath, wondering if he would say your name or knock. But - nothing. His phone buzzed again and he disappeared into his bedroom.

With a heavy sigh, you leaned against the door. 

---

Mentally, Steve was exhausted.

Physically, his energy peaked in the midst of the action and hadn’t seemed to peter off yet. 

You were safe, you were safe, you were safe.

Why couldn’t he calm down? You were one wall away, falling asleep. Safe. He got to you before anything critical happened. Christ, nothing should have happened in the first place.

Following his long frustrating phone call with Rhodes, he wanted to talk to you. He wanted to say everything that was weighing down his heart - but your door was closed and he couldn’t even find it in himself to knock.

You were probably even angrier with him than before - given that this was all his fault. But that was fine with him. He could deal with your anger if that meant you had any feelings towards him left. Anger counted.

He rinsed off in the shower then pulled on a pair of pajama pants before falling into bed, not that he was tired. His brain was wired and maybe an allnighter was in his future. 

Steve sent off a few last messages to Bucky and Sam, then discarded his phone on the nightstand. He leaned back against the headboard and–

There was a knock at his bedroom door. You were knocking. He swung his legs off the bed and hurried to open the door, just as you were about to push it open yourself.

“Hi,” you said quietly, meeting his eyes in the low light streaming in from his lamp.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, scanning you for any signs of distress.

You shrugged, drawing in a deep breath. Then Steve took a step back, waving his arm to invite you in. You released your lungs slowly, nodding and following him inside. Wordlessly, he climbed into the bed and offered the open blanket to you, arms wide. You just nodded again, crawling in and finding a spot - your spot - underneath his arms.

---

CHAPTER 07 - CHAPTER 09

[worshipper-status]

💙Tips from a Worshipper💙: How to Make a Shrine

Hello! I hope you’re having a good day! This post is an idea I’ve had for a while so here’s my guide to making a shrine for your own darling! This post isn’t the be all end all to shrines but it’s tips and advice I’ve gathered from doing my own thing for a while. Feel free to add your own tips in the tags of this post if you reblog it. I’d appreciate it a lot!

1.) Get a shoe box or a larger gift  box if you want more space.

This is entirely for practicality purposes. You don’t want to have a full on shrine in your room, in case anyone ever visits you or goes in your room. It’s inconvenient and annoying to have to take it down and put it back up, if there’s a possibility someone may want to go in your room. This is particularly useful for me, because my beloved knows I identify as a yandere but I get self conscious about her seeing the things I do because of it, so keeping it in a neat enclosed space to take out and do what I please and then pack it up and put it away when I’m done helps a lot both mentally and for practical reasons. 

2.) Consider the materials you want for it. Don’t be afraid to have fun with it!

Your darling deserves a beautiful shrine! If you have photos of them, print them out and line the walls of the box with them, or simply just leave them in an envelope inside the box to flip through when you want. Maybe if you’re artsy, decorate the inside of the box with markers and pens. Get some stickers and slap those on the side of the box. Maybe there’s something you associate your darling with? Put imagery of those in there too! My beloved associates me with sharks and associates herself with eevees so there’s a lot of that going on in mine. I often leave a candle in the shrine to take out and light whenever I’m doing anything with it. Bonus points if you know what your darling smells like so you can grab a candle with a similar scent. Other things I leave in the shrine are things I use to symbolize tokens of affection, so crystals, rings, jewelry, art pieces I’ve drawn for her, gifts my darling has given me, printed screenshots of text conversations with my darling that make me happy, etc. This is very individualized to you and your darling, but if all else fails, just fill it up with things you associate them with. Do they really like bunnies? Bunny themes. Is there favorite color green? Green everything. Do they like nature? Nature motif. 

3.) What’s the purpose for the shrine? Adjust accordingly.

Maybe you just want the shrine as a storage space for things your darling has given you? Or maybe you want to use it as part of a nightly routine to make sure no matter what you’re giving your beloved the proper amount of love and affection and wishing them goodnight. Maybe you just want a space to express that obsessive side of you in peace, and then be able to pack it up and put it away as a coping mechanism for your obsessive thoughts. No shame in any of these options! But make sure you’re designing it to help you with these things. I tend to use mine as more of a place to express my obsessive side in peace and then pack it up and move on with my day, kind of as a way to satiate the thoughts. So what I did was I made a lock for my box. Yeah it’s not really functional, you could easily just rip open the box to see what’s inside, but it helps me make that mental distinction of, this is Worshipper time, and this is not Worshipper time. For nightly routine type shrines (or daytime whichever you prefer), I recommend having a pre determined nightly routine for this. Maybe every night, you talk to the shrine like it is your darling to get out thoughts you never said earlier, maybe you read off an honoring poem, maybe you just brush your hair in front of the shrine while daydreaming about your darling doing it, anything works, just make sure you have the things you need handy, such as keeping a printed poem in the box, or a hairbrush, or whatever else suits you. 

4.) Does your darling know you’re a yandere? Are you brave enough to ask them for things?

I know I’m lucky to have a darling that knows I’m a yandere and for the most part supports it. However, we are currently long distance (yeah, I know, it’s killing me) so I can’t get gifts from her often. However, once we are living together, I know I will not be afraid to ask for tokens of affection for the shrine. This is going to involve me stealing her hoodies (we’re the same size in clothes lol), maybe a few strands of hair from the bathroom sink, any little doodles or notes she leaves around, etc. This is also for those people lucky enough to have a vial of blood from their darling (I wish TwT). Give it an honorary display in your shrine for when you’re not wearing it. But yeah, if there’s anything in specific you want your darling to give you and you know they’d be willing, ASK FOR IT! 

5.) Consider a digital shrine!

I’ve actually just started curating my digital shrine and I think it’s a really good option for people! I have mine on a private discord server that’s just me and pluralkit. I use this server for mostly keeping track of my daily life stuff, system things, recipes, to do’s, etc. But at the bottom of the server, I have a separate channel for my shrine! It has all the selfies I’ve saved and gathered from my darling, images I’ve grabbed online that I feel embody our relationship, screenshots of convos, various poems and writings of mine, future ideas for dates and otherwise. It has been way easier to put together and curate than the physical one,  and I actually enjoy it quite a bit more. It’s a lot easier to make a daily thing, and a lot more fun for me too. I love scrolling through the internet and grabbing things to add to the shrine, throwing my own writings in the mix, and knowing that no one else is going to see it because it’s in a private discord server and unless someone gets onto my computer or phone, I’m fine. 

[minas-linkverse]

Hi again 😃 I was wondering if you would feel comfortable with kinda elaborating on paranoia ( I think you said you have it yourself?) this is the first time I have seen it represented in media properly, and have also lately been questioning wether I have it or not, as a person with adhd and autism. I’m not really sure how to phrase this well but if it’s okay with you do you have any tips/parts of paranoia that could maybe help me in my consideration on wether I have it or not (I would get an assessment btw ) Please please don’t feel any pressure at all with sharing, having such good representation already in your comic is epicly awesome already and I don’t think people should have to do stuff that they are not comfortable with sharing.

I love your comic, your art and greatly appreciate your representation it’s so cool and awesome , sorry for the long ask I hope you have an nice day 🤩👋😃😊

I wasn't planning to answer this ask but I am in an odd mood tonight and felt it might be beneficial for the both of us. 👍

I'm also autistic, but I think my paranoia also mixes with my OCD, so that may make my experience appear different. I also have never been diagnosed with paranoia, but it is a symptom I've often discussed with my therapists over the years.

For me it has been present since I was around 12, when I would struggle to take the dog for a walk because I feared the air was poisonous or a sniper would shoot me down. (I live in a country that's not had any kind of shooting for decades.) Honestly I'm not entirely sure what caused those, besides the fact I had a lot of unchecked anxiety. I started going to Therapy at age 13.

A lot of things happened between then and age 15 or so. Including my OCD manifesting and a few years of emotional abuse inside my home.

Since then my paranoia has fed my OCD many ideas to use to cause me compulsions. Possibly more relatable-- it has also turned into periods of hyper-vigilance, which is a state where a person is hyper aware of their surroundings and constantly looking for threats and escape routes.

Thankfully all of the above mentioned symptoms have gotten better for me with years of therapy and hard work. Although I will likely be living with them for the rest of my life, it's more like a bad roommate than a danger.

Some advice I can give to anyone who relates to what I've said here is to research things, especially hearing personal accounts can be a huge relief. Another thing is to not ask yourself "What's the worst that could happen?" but "Whats the most likely thing to happen?" It's simple but very helpful.

But yeah, my understanding is that it's more of a symptom alongside other disorders, but I'm not a professional nor have I studied this stuff. My sources are experience and 10 years of therapy. I highly recommend seeking out a professional who gives you a good vibe with their presence.

Also others are free to add to this! ✌️ I'm sending my support to anyone reading this.

[bluberibear]

Cod oc lore :3

I’m not the best at writing but if u have any tips/see grammar mistakes feel free to tell me :3

Tw- rape, illegal relation ship, underage sex, abuse

{idk what else but if you do think something is triggering and i should add it please tell me in the comments}

???-firecracker(did i call him that because i hadn't decided a real name other than his callsign, yes, leave me alone)

Firecrackers dad-Joshua

Firecrackers mom- Mary

Part 1

His dad was a priest of a cult/church in a very isolated village, not the top dog but still a man who was looked up to and praised by the people of the village. Being a priest meant obviously not being allowed to have a wife or intimacy, though Joshua was a very corrupt and wealthy man. If he did do anything it could have been easily covered up. He was in the good graces of the people, no one would believe some peasant reporting him for being corrupt and if they did they could easily be silenced. He had a lot of one night stands but one night during a church ceremony he saw a beautiful girl praying with her family. She didn't look older than 17… but it was no worry for him, he knew the social classes of people just by the way they dressed and he knew that he could pay the dad to “help teach her about their religion”. Though it slowly turned from one a week to bringing her over to his house and pretty soon he started cutting off her family and friends and not allowing her to leave, putting the leaves of worry and fear of what would happen if she went back out into the dangerous world into her brain. Though Mary had a friend outside the village who she would sneak out to see, they tried convincing her to leave not only Joshua but the village. Start anew with them and be happy, they even gave her little trinkets from the outside world. One night she had gone to visit them, but she had been followed by joshua. You'd think he would have some empathy being a priest but he was a cold man, the second he saw his wife with another person, he saw red. Her friend handed her a small lighter, gray with red markings, a black bear's skull engraved onto it. She kept it with her. “One last gift, to symbolize a new beginning”. She took the lighter and put it in her pocket. Mary's friend had convinced her to leave, to be free though it didn't last long. Joshua took out a pistol and shot them right then and there. Mary couldn't tell if they had died or not as she had been knocked out by joshua. She made a promise to escape and she would be damned if she didnt after this. Joshua took mary home and proceeded to rape and beat her. It didn't take her long to get pregnant… Joshua had said to kill it but Mary simply couldn't bring herself to rid the world of her child so she begged Joshua to keep it, and he agreed. They named the child ???, he looked exactly like his mother. Too much like his mother, if he was allowed out people would know he was hers and then they would ask who the father was and it didn't take a genius to find out what had happened. It could be enough to get the church into trouble or make him lose his status if it got out that he had married a poor innocent girl and kept her isolated like this. Therefore Joshua had decided that ??? was prohibited from leaving the house too. Though Mary knew what it was like to have her childhood robbed from her and she would be damned if she let it happen to her son. She had a new job, escaped with her son or atleast get her son out of the village. she would help him leave when joshua was away though she told him to come back before joshua was home, worried of what joshua would do to her if ??? wasn't home. Now this went on for years before. Joshua knew but when he knew he’d beat ??? and his mom, he also installed cameras to make sure they couldn't leave. Eventually ??? got super sick and Mary saw an opportunity to save herself and her son. She begged Joshua to see ??? and let her take him to a doctor. He obliged but warned her there would be consequences if she tried anything. She took ??? to a local doctor who had been informed about Mary's situation but was bribed into keeping it secret. Once Mary got it ???checked out she walked around, thinking about if she should really do this but she knew she had to do this for her son.

[skzstoryvault]

Into the Earth (Hyunjin, we'll see if spicy)

Hyunjin x f!reader

multi-chapter fic

AU

happens a few years in the future

Hyunjin is in his post-idol era. Working as an artist and fashion icon.

Warnings: mentions of scamming, dishonesty, abusive people and various kinds of abuse, parasites (and not the Bong Joon Ho clever kind), misogyny (but not Hyunjin!), ageism. More to be added with later chapters.

This is in no way meant as a commentary on the real persons depicted here. They all deserve the world.

Please be kind.

Please do not report this post. If it's not your thing, just scroll away.

If you're underage, please scroll on, there is nothing for you here.

If you enjoy this story and are reading along, I would love to hear your comments in the replies, reblogs or DMs - however you feel most comfortable.

Like I mentioned, this story is finished, but I will slightly change its course based on the way the chapters are received. Story title is inspired by a Lorna Shore song Part 1 Song for this chapter (I promise it is not blackened deathcore this time!)

Part 2 - Beautiful “Hello, I’m here for the job ad? You said you were looking for help with the farm?” He says, in English. “I just arrived today.”

“You don’t look like you’re used to working.” The hiring person, who introduced himself as Agustin, says. “I am looking for men who can work hard, long hours and not bitch, complain and take tiktok videos every five minutes. We sometimes have tourists come and try to work here for the experience and then they complain when they learn they actually have to work.” “I know I’m not the biggest, but I am strong and I am used to long hours.” Hyunjin says. “And I am used to getting yelled at,” he adds, thinking of his idol days. “I mean, I work well under pressure.” “Do you have a copy of your criminal record? We do hire people who’ve been to prison, but we have to be notified if a criminal record exists.” “I do, I put a copy in my application file. It’s just two blank sheets with police headers, I’ve been a good boy so far.” “Hm. Let me see that.” The man says, reaching and taking the file closer. “Man, you come from far away. What kind of name is Joseph Hwang?” “Uhm, I’m Korean. But I lived in Paris for the past few years.” “Oh, so you’re not new-new to Europe. Good. You don’t look like a Joseph to me. Ok let’s see… Studies… Choreography and English? How does a pretty boy like you decide to come work on a bio farm? You know the pay is not what you’re used to, right? We do offer health insurance and the legal number of free days, but I’d say, uh, well, you should aim higher. Unless you’re running from something and-” “I am, actually. Nothing bad, I just… need to do something else with my life.” Hyunjin offers, feeling that honesty is the best choice right now. “I get it. I’ve been there.” The man says. “Well, what the hell. You have the job. I’ll show you where the rooms are and you can go get settled in. Report for work to Paloma. Lunch is your responsibility. We make and have breakfast and dinner together, at six and at eight. If you survive your two trial weeks, you will also get to be in the role of mother and make one meal of the day for everyone else, so I hope you’re not some spoiled kid who’s never set foot in a kitchen. Questions?” “No, everything is alright for now and I am sure the rest will explain itself along the way. Thank you.” “Oh and, new guy? Consider going by José. It’s more approachable.” *** Hyunjin does not, in fact, go by José. Agustin gave him many other useful tips, but he stuck to his name and everyone at the farm made an effort and learned it. People here are so different and lovely, from different cultures and speaking different languages, and while the team is not huge, it feels tightly knit and like a functional unit. Even the coworkers who do not speak English well know enough to allow for communication, and Hyunjin knows he will pick up Spanish in no-time because he is utterly in love with the sound of it. He wants to cry all the time, but in the best of ways. He is filled with bliss to the point of overflowing. He wonders if this is what enlightened monks feel all the time. Just an overall feeling of simmering ecstasy, unlike anything he’s ever known. A sharp contrast to the utter misery and alienation he felt while in the military, when at times he felt his soul cowering in the tiniest corner of his being, not wanting to take note of his body while in that state. The farm is an old villa with many rooms. The workers, him included, live there, together with the owner. It’s like a family, they just don’t call it that. Tumblr says this is as long as this chapter can get so- I guess I'm doing some edits already.

Part 3

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Oooooh I’m so pumped about these new fics you’ve added! I’m officially intrigued and excited to read!

Also I should probably apologize for the amount of emojis here but I keep sending long requests and you keep fulfilling them fabulously sooooo I guess what I’m saying is that this is on you for enabling me :p

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️(PROPOSALLLLLL - also my dear poor bobby trying to both encourage eddie to marry buck while also trying to prevent him from proposing poor guy)

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨(loving the established buckley-diaz family!)

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸(EEEEEEEEEEE!!!! - the sound my heart makes when i think about this fic)

🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮(explore them childhoods buck and bobby!)

🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮(a lovely dog and a tsunami avoided i do think things are looking up for buck!)

🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠(NICO MY BELOVED IVE MISSED YOU SO!!!) (and while i support your declaration that this is the last one if you ever change your mind please know I’ll be thrilled to see any other stories you dream up)

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟(after what you’ve done with your vampire premise im slightly scared and entirely excited to see what you do with zombies!)

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑(MADNEY CINDERELLA?!?!??! WOW YOURE TOO GOOD TO US CAL I CANT WAIT)

…yeah I definitely went crazy feel free to cut this down as much as you need. Thank youuuuuuu you’re amazing!!

HEY!!!!! YES I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS.

Do not apologize for the length. I saved it for last (unless someone submits something else) so that I could dedicate the right time to it. I am pumped.

---

Starting with 48 for ⚡️ (Proposal chapter posted! So this will be post-proposal!)

---

Eddie laughs. “You sure did.”

“It looks great,”  Maddie agrees. She walks around Eddie and Chris to give Buck a big hug.

“Congrats, guys,” Chim adds. “This is awesome. I knew it would happen from the moment you had that dumb, peacocking argument in the fire station gym.”

“What?” Chris asks. 

“Nothing,” Eddie says quickly. “Chim’s just being funny.”

“Thanks, man,” Buck laughs. “I appreciate all your help.”

Jee wanders over to Eddie and Chris and stands on tip toes to look at Eddie’s ring. Eddie lowers his hand to give her an easier view. 

“Wow,” she says, looking at the ring. “Green!”

“He wears a lot of green,” Chris tells her. “It made sense.”

“I do,” Eddie admits. 

“I like green,” Jee nods sagely. 

Maddie, Chim, and Jee leave after a few minutes. Eddie, Buck, and Chris make smoothies and sit in the kitchen, where Chris batters them with a million questions about the proposal. Buck does not forget to mention how Eddie derailed things. Kind of him, really. 

“So when is the wedding going to be?” Chris asks once everything is blended and they’re all sitting down. “This year? Next year?”

“We don’t know yet, bud,” Eddie answers. “These things take some time to plan.”

Especially when you don’t have basic training and childbirth as a time constraint.

“Probably not this calendar year, though,” Buck adds. “We can take our time planning it, I think.”

Eddie nods. “For sure.”

“Well, where are you going to get married? Is it going to be big? Like a huge party?”

“Chris, Buck and I haven’t even started talking about that yet,” Eddie tells him. “Give us some time.”  

“Well, you had all of last night!” Chris protests. “What else were you doing?”

Buck and Eddie stare at each other, nervously, for a moment. 

Sometimes it feels like Chris is growing up way too quickly. Then a nice little moment like this comes along to ease his anxiety. 

“I guess we talked about other stuff, kiddo,” Buck says, trying not to smirk.

---

27 for 🚨 (THANKS!)

---

“Wait, you know Alan?” One of the hungover, frantic-looking partygoers asks. Probably the one who called 9-1-1. He’s wearing a speedo and a blue terry cloth robe. 

Eddie frowns. “Wait, you know Alan? Prescott?”

“Who do you think fell out of the pool?” The young man exclaims. 

“What?” Eddie asks, expression dropping. His face goes a little pale. 

“It’s Alan! Alan is the one who needs your help!”

That, Buck realizes, is not good. Very, very not good. 

Someone Eddie used to love might be dying. Again. 

🔹🔹🔹

There’s no way around the fact that it’s a rescue with a high chance of failure. Alan is in a bad position. There’s no way to get the truck underneath him to lift a ladder up. He’s off the side of a cliff. A cliff covered in thick foliage. And there’s not a lot to hook a winch up to to send someone down after him. Nothing super secure, anyway. The pool is huge and spans the majority of the back line of the yard. They can’t just rappel over.

---

69 for 🩸 (THANK YOU SO MUCH THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!)

---

Buck can’t stop chewing the inside of his cheek. It’s becoming a problem. He is beginning to taste the coppery tang of blood in his saliva. All these months of waiting, and it’s moments away from being finished. Buck is practically vibrating out of his skin. 

They’ve arrived. Buck knows they’ve arrived, because Chris texted him the moment the plane was taxiing. Probably before he was even allowed to take his phone off airplane mode. He’s been keeping Buck diligently updated in the half an hour or so since. Which is how Buck knows they’ve collected Christopher’s checked bags. They’re on their way out of the baggage claim area now. They’re a breath away. 

Buck fires off a quick text to Eddie and Sophia on WhatsApp, notifying them. They were able to get Eddie’s old phone charged and working, but unfortunately the line has been canceled for months on account of his supposed death. And he can’t exactly call the company to reinstate it. So Wi-Fi based communications it is, for now. Buck will get on adding a second line to his account, soon. They just need another SIM.

Eddie gives the message a thumbs up. It seems like a muted response, but Buck knows the truth is just that he’s probably sitting there shaking. There’s nothing to say, anyway. 

It’s in that spot, standing in the arrivals terminal, checking his phone, chewing on his cheek, that he hears Christopher call out to him. 

“BUCK!”

Buck lifts his head to see him. He’s making a good pace, trying to navigate the LAX crowd with his crutches, in a beeline towards Buck. He’s taller. A decent amount taller. Buck could weep.

He takes off in long strides towards Christopher, pushing past people who he might on any other day be apologetic to. Today they don’t matter. Today Chris is home. He’s here, in front of him. He hardly even looks at the veritable clone of Sophia walking, tight-faced, behind Chris as he reaches them. He and Chris more or less collide together. Buck pulls him into a tight, crushing hug, ignoring the way one his crutches dig into his thigh. 

“I missed you so much,” Christopher says, eyes watering.

“I missed you, too,” Buck tells him. “I’m so happy you’re home.”

“Me too,” Chris mumbles. 

Buck pulls away from him, leaving his hands on his shoulders. He scans Christopher head to toe. 

“You’re so tall,” Buck laughs, eyes stinging. “What were you eating out there, huh?” 

“You can’t talk!” Chris protests. 

“I guess that’s true,” Buck smiles. 

Buck takes a quick moment to look at Adriana. He can’t help but feel a cold coil of anger towards her, for how upset her sister was last night. He tries to remind himself she is missing critical information. 

“Thank you for bringing him,” he says to her. 

Normally he would probably offer to buy her lunch for her trouble and the long day, regardless of the discomfort between them. But he needs to get Chris home to Eddie. 

Adriana purses her lips for a second before replying. “Sure. Chris, you’ll remember to call, right?”

“Right,” Chris agrees, though Buck can tell he’s annoyed. Probably not the first time he’s heard this. 

Buck steps forward to take Christopher’s bags from Adriana. She slides them over without complaint.

“Is there anything you need before you catch your flight back?” He asks her. 

She scoffs a little. Buck, again, is prepared to be mad. But then he sees such a sincerely hurt, heartbroken expression across her face. Her eyes, so much like Eddie’s, are big and wounded. 

“There’s nothing you could do for me.” 

“Tia…” Chris protests weakly. 

Adriana hardly seems to hear him.

---

27 for 🔮:

---

It’s different, because Buck has so many other people in his life now. He’s not alone. But… But Bobby still didn’t go after him. 

He should have gone after him.

But what would he have said? He still can’t explain himself.

Bobby looks around Buck’s room, hoping to distract himself from this feeling of uselessness. To take in more small, previously unknown-to-him details about Buck. This solitary, sad Buck. There is a stack of CDs on a desk. An iPod classic with a sort of girly sticker on the back. Bobby wonders if that came from Maddie. There’s a school library copy of To Kill a Mockingbird open and facedown, and a spiral bound notebook where the scattered beginnings of an essay are written in messy graphite. A gaudy school jersey is on the ground, next to cleats. He forgot Buck played football. He wonders if the sport was ever the draw, or if it was always the team.

All of a sudden, Buck flips over and sits up. He sniffs, rubs his red eyes, and pulls himself up off the bed.

“Fuck this stupid family,” he mutters. 

Ouch. 

Buck rounds his bed, picks up the cleats off the floor, and puts them on. He takes off his sweater, so he’s just wearing a tee shirt, and tosses it on the frame on his bed. He grabs a football out of his closet and tucks it under his arm. 

Bobby watches, unsure of what he’s about to do, as he walks over to his bedroom window, wrenches it open, ducks his head low, and swings a leg over the side. Bobby’s eyes widen nervously. What the hell is he going to do? Well, Bobby knows what he’s going to do. He just doesn’t know if this is one of those stories that ends with Buck breaking a bone.

---

Well 🦮 has been posted! And I hope you enjoy/ed it!

In exchange, what I can give you is 24 sentences of the fic I started to replace it, another Gotcha for Gaza prompt. I will give it no context, but here it is and here's it's emoji 🛞

---

“Well, you weren’t the last person to sit in this seat,” Buck explains.

Eddie frowns. “I wasn’t? Someone else changed my settings?”

Chim holds back a sigh. If they could turn on the Jeep and get going, that would be great. He has a former foster child being adopted by his best friend to see. 

“Eddie, Chris was the last person to sit in the seat. He changed the settings.”

“Oh,” Eddie says. “Well, I’ll have words with him later.”

Wow. 

“He resets my settings in your truck, too.” Buck argues.

“No, you reset his settings in the truck, because you have giraffe legs.” Eddie rebuts. 

Chim is going to scream. 

“Eddie, you’ll survive,”  he says. “Buck, let’s beat traffic.”

“Right, right,” Buck says, starting the ignition. “Can you put in the address for me, Eddie?”

“Yep,” Eddie replies, taking Buck’s phone right off his thigh, and plugging it in. The Apple CarPlay display flickers to life. 

Eddie holds Buck’s phone to his face and it unlocks. 

---

45 for 🌠 (haha thank you! I am open to more but feel like I've explored what I wanted to?):

---

“You ran off, right?” 

“No!” Nico shouts. “I didn’t want to be alone! I don’t want to be alone! I want Dad!”

He sounds like a little kid. Half of Christopher’s heart aches for him. Half of it resents him. And that latter half is cruel and unfair and Chris knows that. He knows it’s good that Nico is terrified and unsure how to act. He knows it’s good Nico isn’t used to this. It’s fucking great for Nico, that, by this age, he hasn’t dealt with a parent killed by a distracted driver, a parent shot overseas and at home, and a parent struck by fucking lightning. He is healthy and adjusted and things have always, always been easier for him. 

And Christopher feels like a total asshole. Here he is, not far off thirty years-old, just realizing how much resentment he holds for a child. His little brother. Who he does love. Really, he loves him dearly. They’ve just lived apart more than they ever lived together, and it feels like they don’t know each other as well as they should. 

When you find something to work on, you forget about everyone else.

Fuck. 

“Nico, okay, I won’t-”

“Dad could be dying and you don’t even care!” 

Tears are streaming down his brother’s face now. Christopher wants to scream. He feels frozen. This feels impossible. Sometimes he thinks about the fact that his dad and Buck weren’t that much older than he is now, dealing with him at this age. How his dad was younger than him when his mom died and he was alone with a little kid. And Christopher wasn’t the world’s easiest kid. He knows that. Even if Dad would never, ever say it. 

“That’s not exactly what’s… Of course I care,” Christopher tries to reason. “God, of course I care.”

“Then why are you just working and acting like nothing is happening?”

Christopher takes a deep breath. 

“Nico, it helps me to keep my mind off of it,” he explains. “If I don’t, I get anxious. Because I care a lot, okay? You think I don’t? Between us, I’m the one who knows how shitty it feels to lose a parent.”

Nico’s expression drops. Anger and hurt turned to immediate regret. 

---

24 for 🧟 (Thank you! A bit more traditional zombies. Mostly bc none of our characters is one haha)

---

Hell, they could be so fucked up from everything that has happened nine months, that they’ve just snapped and want to cause pain. Buck isn’t risking the only family he has left. 

The cop car stops right in front of the turn to drive into the library parking lot. Like it, too, doesn’t want to cross the red line. The driver’s side door opens with urgency and a woman steps out. The windows are all tinted, and Buck can’t see if there’s anyone else in the car.

The woman’s back is to Buck, her arms in front of her, holding something. A gun perhaps. She’s dressed in what looks like the pants part of a cop uniform, but a bright, souvenir-style tee shirt. She’s shorter than Buck, but carries herself with a presence. An authority that, under other circumstances, Buck would either butt heads against or easily follow. 

The woman takes a step towards the library. 

Buck stands up and aims. 

“I wouldn’t do that.” He calls. 

The woman whirls on him, handgun pointed right at his forehead with what he can just tell is precision. If this goes badly, no chance she misses. He can see that. 

“Nice to meet you,” the woman quips. Buck would put her in her fifties. She has the trace of a southern accent. The tee shirt she’s wearing has a big, illustrated orange on it and the word Florida. Which explains the accent. 

---

36 for 👑 (THANKS! All credit to the prompter though):

---

“While Santa Claus was dying and she was covered in his blood?”

“Oh, please. Santa will be fine.” Hen waves a dismissive hand. “But who knows? Maybe fate will intervene and you’ll bump into her again.”

ii.

Fate does intervene. Just not in the ways Chim might expect. 

It’s a two-pronged day of surprises. 

They have a shift the day after Christmas. Christmas which Chim did end up spending alone. He didn’t feel right about going to Hen’s, and he didn’t feel right intruding on the Lees, so he just told each party he was going to the other’s. It was kind of shit. Not that he’ll say that to anyone. 

The point is, they’re on shift. It’s the 26th of December. They get called a kitchen fire in Beverly Hills. Nothing serious; a kid trying to make fancy vegan, gluten free cookies while her parents obviously were not supervising. No one is hurt. But that’s where Chimney sees her again. On a Christmas card of all things! 

He physically has to stop in front of the mantleplace where it’s displayed. A glossy, photocard type thing of two older white people with their two adult children. 

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays from the Buckleys, it reads. Wishing you all the best in 2018. From Phillip, Margaret, Maddie, and Evan. 

Whoa. Whoa. 

She has a name. Maddie Buckley. And from the distant way they’re all sitting in the portrait, not touching, that is certainly her younger brother, not her younger husband. Yikes. Now that he looks closer at them, neither Maddie nor Evan looks especially happy to be there. They’re all dressed in expensive clothing. Hair styled. This is a very, uh, special Christmas card. They look rich. Beverly Hills rich.

[fellowshipofthenoodles]

Morgana escaped her viv through a vent (apparently she has super strength because I literally used aquarium sealant to avoid that, also after several escapes through those viv vents I don’t trust vivexotics anymore)

I currently have food out, a cave, and a warm spot (there’s a radiator next to the food and cave), her viv is open in case she goes back herself, a water dish on the floor next to her viv so she can drink and there’s plastic bags/crinkly stuff on the floor so i can hear her if she comes out.

Do you have any methods I haven’t thought of that might help lure her out? I’m devastated.

Aw fuck, I’m sorry! Kingsnakes are such bastards and for some reason Mexican blacks are ninjas at escape 😩

I wouldn’t have plastic bags down personally due to suffocation risk as they’re actually very silly animals that would 100% do that to themselves. Other than that, this is what’s helped us with escapees in the past:

- Keep doors to the room she’s in closed, especially if it’s been less than 24 hours.

- Make sure you double and triple check all hides. When Wraith “escaped” once, we tore her entire house apart and eventually found her curled up in the mug we used as a humid hide

- Keep her heat on! It’s a bit chilly so having a nice heated house may be tempting for her.

- Depending on how food motivated she is, might be worth going around the room with the food on tongs trying to see if she will come out for it. Don’t do this for too long, as if she’s not taking the bait she could get stressed.

- Make sure all holes and escape routes are cut off. Toilet seats down, windows closed, , vents in room closed, draught excluders down if you have them or stuff with blankets, etc

- Check under things - we found Yuzu as a tiny baby hoggie curled under a plushie once.

- Don’t panic! When Sesame escaped he somehow managed to survive outside in winter in wales for a few months. She should be just fine and back with you soon.

With the vents, super recommend putting them in so that you have to push them in from the inside of the viv. That way no creature without opposable thumbs can pop them out.

We have our fingers crossed for you! Keep us up to date, and followers please feel free to add on your tips for naughty escapes.

[heymacy]

I’m sorry if this is bothersome, but I am interested in learning how to make GIFs. Could you possibly nudge me in the right direction on how to do so? And, again, I’m sorry if this is an annoying ask, I’m just genuinely curious.

hello sweet friend! this isn't an annoying ask at all! i'm so happy you reached out and i'm more than happy to share some resources + tips that helped me start on my own gif making journey!

lots of info + babbling below the cut!

first, THIS is the initial tutorial i used to get started. you will need Photoshop (or an equivalent, though i will admit i'm not familiar with the other applications) and a computer - and that's pretty much it! i know it can seem overwhelming at first because it's so much information but i promise this tutorial has absolutely everything you'll need and is laid out in a really straightforward way!

second, if you're planning on using the video import method as opposed to screencapping, like i do, you'll need video files. i don't know how to use websites like MEGA or any other file downloader so i got all my videos from THIS youtube channel (which i feel most everyone in the gallavich fandom is already familiar with, lmao) - but the quality is still really really good! 1080p should be all you need. you can either download an application to your computer that converts the files via URL or you can use a website (THIS one is really good) OR you can do what i do sometimes when i realize i'm missing a scene (because some videos that are age restricted [see: dock scene] often won't be convertible via applications and websites) which is screen record on your computer or phone and then plop the file wherever you need it - whatever works best for you!

third, when it comes to adjustments, coloring, editing, etc. it's going to take a lot of trial and error but you WILL get there! my favorite adjustments are: curves, levels, hue/saturation, color balance, selective color, vibrance, and sometimes black & white. my favorite filters are the smart sharpen feature and noise.

for SMART SHARPEN my settings are:

amount: 500%, radius: 0.4px, reduce noise: 10%, remove: gaussian blur

THEN a second adjustment using:

amount: 10%, radius: 10px, reduce noise: 10%, remove: gaussian blur

then for NOISE i usually add 4% noise, uniform, monochromatic! admittedly i just recently started using this filter but i think i've found my sweet spot! feel free to play around with this one. for example, black & white with high level noise gives old movie vibes - experiment, experiment, experiment!

HERE is a link to the BBC coder for colored text for captions

HERE is a link to a website where you can get a ton of free PNG files for overlays and funky edits - just make sure you put "PNG" after your search terms!

i also have a bunch of bookmarked links to various gif maker's resource pages that have been helpful to me in the past - if you'd like them please just DM me and i can send you some links!

finally, do you know about the Shameless Creator's Network? we're a network of digital creators for shameless; all characters, all seasons, all experience levels! if you're on Discord, we have a server where we have channels dedicated to just this: learning, growing, inspiring! HERE is an invite link and HERE is our blog!

otherwise, if you have any other questions or need help along the way, PLEASE don't hesitate to reach out to me via asks or DM - i am MORE than happy to help! i love seeing people learn a new craft and if i can assist at all with that then i absolutely will!

[small-river]

Hey i see you're also a cg!! I have a question since um... i had asked my bf recently if he'd be okay with being a cg sometimes, and i told him all about agere. But I wanted to ask if you could give some pointers maybe tips for caregiving? We do communicate our needs fairly well I think, but I'm a little so I dont know much about the caregiver side...

hey hun! I’m a fairly newer cg as well but I will share some tips I have learned over the passed couple months!

-communication is always key, big or little space, anywhere anytime!

- when your little is in a mood, or upset, be patient. Big feelings are apart of that and just take time and please be patient. And if they want to talk, let them talk and try to help them feel better! Same thing if they don’t. If they don’t want to talk, understand that they don’t have to in the moment or ever, and try to distract them or lift their mood up!

- check ins are obviously a must. No matter what. With boundaries, what they like, what they don’t like, how they’re doing, ect. Make sure everyone is on the same page and doing well.

- when your little is having yucky feelings, make sure you make it known how proud you are of them and how much you love and adore them. How far they’ve come is amazing and they are amazing.

- coming up with cute little games for them: I have one where I try to guess what my little is hiding. Or I also have one where I guess what they’re drawing on my hand or back. Just fun little games you both enjoy and have fun with.

- make sure you both are fully in it. I know some people who have had cg’s who barely do anything and just kinda left them by themselves. Make sure you both fully support the other and understand what comes with that.

- so all in all, just communicate and have fun. being a caregiver has made me so happy and allows me to take care of people that want and need it, and I love it and my little so much!

If anyone else has anything to add, please feel free. I’m not sure if this is helpful at all but it’s what I learnt and have kept with me throughout!

[ukagakadreamteam]

I can't get audio to work

idk what to do i’ve tried to thing you guys put back in 2019 but it’s still silent 

—

@dollbirb​ Pardon if the formatting is awkward here, I’m not used to working with submissions.

There are a number of reasons the audio might not be working! I’ll give a rundown of common problems, but it’s hard to know what your specific issue is without more detail.

For anyone having trouble with sounds not playing: please read the debugging tips under the cut. If you are unable to fix your issue, then feel free to send us an ask with more details about your specific situation. The following details would be helpful:

What version of SSP are you running?

Can no ghosts play sound, or are some of them able to?

What ghost are you trying to play sounds with?

If it’s a ghost you’re developing, are you using the sound tags or a SAORI to play sounds?

What sound file are you trying to play?

What file type is it?

Do you have LAV Filters installed?

Are you getting any error messages? If so, what do they say?

The more information you can provide, the better!

(Sidenote: sorry for the lack of alt text on these images! For some reason Tumblr is forcing me to use the old editor, which, while nostalgic, doesn’t seem to be letting me add alt text.)

1. The “Don’t Play Sound” option is set

You may have already checked this, but hear me out. SSP has two different preferences menus. One of them is default settings which apply to all ghosts by default, and one is individual settings which are set per-ghost.

To get to the default settings, you’ll want to right click a ghost, hover over Options, then click Preferences…

Once you’re in the preferences menu, click on Ghost(2). These are the same options you’ll find in the individual preferences, but here you are setting the defaults for every ghost.

You will want to make sure “Don’t Play Sound” is unticked on this window (it’s the top option).

But that’s not the only place you have to check!

To get to the individual settings, right click on the ghost whose settings you want to change, hover over Options, and click Ghost Preferences…

This will pull up a slimmer preferences menu with no sidebar. You can see that it has the same options as the Ghost(2) page of the SSP preferences, but this time, you’re changing settings for this ghost specifically!

Any settings that you set in this menu will override the default settings, but only for this ghost. Before we get into that, though, one thing to take note of.

Do you see the tick box at the bottom which says “This Checkbox Means Default Settings are Applied”? I believe the look of this tick box will change depending on your OS. On mine, it is filled in with a square.

If you see that tick in a box on this menu, that means that the setting is currently set to its default value (the value you set in the Ghost(2) page of the SSP preferences).

So in this case, the “Don’t Play Sound” option is set to my default value, and my default value has this option unset. So, that’s good! In my case, this ghost will be able to play sound, because my default settings allow it to, and my individual settings don’t specify otherwise.

If I wanted to specify that this ghost should not be able to play sound, but I still want my other ghosts to be able to play sound, then I would click this tick box twice to make it appear like so:

This tick means that the setting is applied, regardless of the default settings.

If I wanted to do it the other way around, I could instead go to the default settings and tick the “Don’t Play Sound” option”, and untick this option in the individual preferences.

If the default settings are to not play sound, then this setup means that only this particular ghost would be able to play sound.

So, make sure that you check both the SSP preferences, and the ghost’s individual preferences! If you don’t have a need to adjust a ghost’s settings individually, then just make sure that it matches the defaults, and set your defaults properly.

2. SSP is muted in your computer’s settings

Keep in mind that the issue may not be due to SSP at all! If your settings are correct and it still won’t produce any sounds, then it’s worth checking your computer’s settings. Note that if only some ghosts will play sound and others won’t, you can skip checking this.

How you do this will vary by system. The following description will be for Windows 10.

Next to the system clock, there should be a little sound icon (it’s to the left of the ENG text here):

Right click that sound icon, and you should get this little context menu:

Click on Open Volume Mixer and you should get this little window. Note: SSP will only appear here if there is a sound currently playing! You may want to use a ghost that plays longer sounds like music to test this.

You’ll want to look for SSP’s bow and bell icon. The name of the ghost that is listed here will be determined by which ghost you last interacted with, so in my case it says FLUX, because I’m using FLUX to play music and it’s the last ghost I interacted with.

If this slider is set all the way at the bottom, or if the icon below the slider shows that it is muted, then you won’t hear anything! Unmute it, or adjust the slider accordingly.

3. If you’re using a ghost that uses a SAORI to play music/sounds…

This issue in particular affects FLELE, as well as a few other English ghosts that have music players. These ghosts use a SAORI to play music.

If you’re using an English ghost and you’re unsure how it plays music, you might be able to find out by checking if the ghost has a page on our wiki, and seeing what it says about the ghost’s music player. If it describes the ghost as using a SAORI to play music, then this may be your issue.

The SAORI typically used to play music is called “mciaudior”, and it has some limitations. It only supports a few types of audio files, and even with supported file types, some of them will not play for reasons that we’re not quite sure of. I suspect it has something to do with settings such as bit rate, but I haven’t been able to confirm this.

If you run into this problem, you can always try a ghost that uses a music player based on SSP’s sound commands instead of a SAORI. FLUX is a notable example of this. If a ghost with a non-SAORI based music player also will not play music for you, then this isn’t your issue.

If, however, you find that these other ghosts are able to play music, but the SAORI-based music player cannot, and you really want to use the ghost with the SAORI-based music player, there is one thing you can do. If you run your music file through a conversion tool to change it to another compatible format (such as converting an mp3 to a wav, or vice versa), or you import it into an audio editing tool such as audacity and then re-export it again, this will usually resolve the issue. (I would recommend doing this on a copy of your music file, so that you keep your original intact with all of its original quality/metadata.)

4. If you’re using a ghost that uses SSP’s built in sound commands to play music/sounds…

This would affect ghosts such as FLUX. As described above, if you’re unsure whether the ghost in question uses a SAORI to play music or not, you might want to check our wiki if it’s an English speaking ghost and see if you can find info on it.

There are a couple possible causes for this issue.

    4A - You’re on an out of date version of SSP.

At the time of writing, the current version of SSP is 2.6.61. If you are using a version lower than this, update before you try anything else. SSP has had multiple fixes to its sound commands, and there’s no point trying to debug if you’re on an older version.

Note that a while ago, SSP’s automatic updater got broken, which means that very old versions of SSP will not be able to download updates automatically. If you right click a ghost and go to Utilities, then click on Check SSP Updates, it will tell you if it is unable to check for updates. If this is the case for you, then you’ll need to install a manual update package from SSP’s website. How to do that is a bit off topic for this question, so if anyone needs help with it, please send in an ask!

    4B - You are using a file type that can only be used when LAV Filters is installed

If you play a sound and you see an error that also includes this message:

You can try to install LAV Filters ( https://github.com/Nevcairiel/LAVFilters/releases ) and restart SSP to solve this problem.

Then you need to install LAV Filters from the provided URL in order to get that sound to work. LAV Filters is an open source program that helps with playing sounds. All you need to do is install it, and then you may need to restart SSP for it to take effect. You don’t need to do anything with LAV Filters after installing; there is no setup required.

LAV Filters will allow ghosts to play many types of audio files, and will resolve most problems with sound files not playing in ghosts that are using SSP’s built in sound commands. It will NOT help with ghosts that use the mciaudior SAORI to play sounds.

    4C - There is something wrong with the file, the file path is incorrect, or you’ve found a bug in SSP

If any of these is the case, you will usually get an error message from SSP stating that there is something wrong. If so, then take a close look at that error to try and figure out what’s up. If you share the error with us, we may be able to help.

If there is something wrong with the file itself, then you’ll need a different audio file. If some audio files are working for you, but not all of them, then it’s likely a problem with some of your files rather than SSP. As mentioned above, you can try converting them to another compatible type or re-exporting them in an audio editor to fix it.

If you’re developing a ghost, then you might not be pointing to the correct file names for your sounds. Make sure you double check that your file names/paths are correct.

If nothing else seems to fit, it’s possible that you’ve found a bug in SSP. Bugs can be reported on SSP’s BTS, just make sure you follow the instructions there (and keep an eye out after submitting a bug - sometimes follow-up questions are asked).

—————

Those are all of the common issues that I can think of at this time! If you’re still having trouble, please send us an ask with more details, as mentioned at the top. The more information you can provide us, the better we’ll be able to help you!

Good luck!

[nothums-from-tj]

In honor of me coming out to my dad tomorrow uhhhhh here’s a playlist to send to a loved one you plan on coming out to (starts with information, then with advice and stories, and then good trans/non-binary representation in media) bc I’m gonna be sending this to him afterwards. Feel free to use this playlist and these resources for your own coming out if you’d like :] it’s a long list so uh scroll to the end for my final point

PFLAG (can help parents find support groups to try to cope bc this is a shift in relationship and it’s ok for them to grieve, or at least find other resources to help them to support you)

HRC Resources (this particular section debunks myths on transgender issues and popular arguments against trans people and transitioning and answering common questions about said issues)

Understanding Gender Identity (article with a long list of definitions, go through and tell them what to start with to understand you and the situation better; there’s a beginning part too, though I feel it’ll be too confusing to start them off there)

Transgender Brain and Gender Identity (article discussing some improvements in transgender research and providing hope for trans people’s future I’d think, it’s a little wordy and an excellent read methinks)

GC2B (for my AFAB friends, this is probably the highest quality chest binder you can get and wearing a thin top under or wearing it inside out should help with any sensory issues, also since it’s made by fellow trans mascs they know how to not hurt our bodies; transitional gear is an excellent way for a loved one to support you if they can afford it; DO NOT go a size too small, don’t even risk it, they don’t work the way bras do)

Transguy Supply (also for AFAB friends, this I mostly trust for packers and packing boxers, and again transitional gear is an excellent way to support you if it can be afforded; do your own research for packing so you and your loved one are on the same page or at least you’d be able to let them know)

Menstrual Boxers (last one for AFAB friends lol, specifically for y’all who menstruate; this is such a dysphoria reliever for me as it feels like men’s underwear and I don’t have to really worry about “protection” for a little while, they also have regular “girl” boxers that can help you find a middle ground of sorts with the person you’re coming out to for a bit, just to ease into it)

Bra Resource (now for my AMAB pals, unfortunately I’m not skilled here as I myself am a trans man so I want to do my best here anyway: here is an article written by a trans woman with her bra experience and has varying other articles that I’m hoping will help you and a loved one out to pick one out for you as, again, transitional gear is an amazing way to support you if they can afford this type of gesture)

Tomboy X (from compression tops to packing boxers to adaptable bras to gaffs, y’all are set to go with just about everything here they do their best to relieve everyone’s dysphoria—def look at the reviews for things for a better judgement)

TransTape (skin-safe “tape” that can be used for packing, binding, and tucking; I think binding with TT is safer than with a binder since it’s not actually compressing, don’t quote me on that though; READ THE INSTRUCTIONS before use, please don’t hurt yourself)

Reminder that while it’s not your responsibility to do all the education for them, it’s important to push them in the right direction, at least to give them reliable sources. Make sure to look at the sites, read the articles, and watch the videos either before your coming out or do this with them so you can pick and choose what you want to narrate in your own experiences. Stay cool and be safe! Feel free to reblog with other sources, tips, anything you want to add!

If it helps at all: they don’t need to fully understand, the goal is that they accept you

(Edit from the next day, 5/5/2023: everything’s good and fine and cool between us and I can only hope y’all have a similar experience <3)

[monthofsick]

Updated Rules

The rules for this event have been slightly altered to reflect some recent changes which include the extension of the event beyond the designated month and creation of the official AO3 collections. They also now include some clarifications which seemed necessary in reflection of this year's event, relevant to early/late submissions, trigger warnings, and event mod tags. See below or the Rules page for more detailed information.

Write/draw/create emeto works that fit the prompt of the day

Include all potential trigger warnings at the top of your submission in bold (if you’re not sure whether it’s a trigger, it’s best to be cautious!)

On the day of the relevant prompt, submit your piece through the submissions link on this blog, OR tag this blog using @monthofsick.  Make sure the tag works/is linked to ensure I get notified to reblog it here. Feel free to link to external websites as well if that’s your preference. If I don’t reblog your post within 48 hours of the prompt day, please send an ask or DM to this blog so that I can find your submission!*

Submissions posted outside of the event's designated month will be reblogged on a monthly basis throughout the year.

Early submissions will not be reblogged until the day they correlate to. If I forget (LIKELY!!), please remind me!!

Last but not least: have fun!  It’s pretty chill.

*Tumblr limits the abilities of newly created blogs, so you may need to send an anonymous ask if you are unable to DM or if non-anon asks don't seem to be getting through

Not allowed:

pedophilia: with minors defined as <18 - sexualization of minors, romantic/sexual relations between a child and an adult

incest: sexual/romantic relationships between family members, including step-relatives, half-relatives, and cousins of any degree.

sex: I’m not against sex, but I personally can’t read it, so unless someone who can would like to join me in running this event, it simply isn’t feasible for now

Common Trigger Warnings to Include

alcohol / alcohol poisoning*

emeto / vomit

anxiety/panic and anxiety/panic attacks

child sickie / child emeto: whenever a minor (<18) is the sickie

real person fiction: for real life people rather than fictional characters

emetophobia: when a character within the submitted work has a fear of vomiting

*vomiting from alcohol is a trigger for me, so please include these warnings when relevant

This is not a comprehensive list. Please include additional triggers as needed for each individual submission, and don't hesitate to ask for clarification if there's anything you're unsure of.

Other Tips

Consider including fandom/characters/a short summary at the beginning of your submission to help people find what they’re looking for

Feel free to self advertise - include a link to your blog or your ask box if you’d like!

Notes

AO3 Collections:

Novemetober: parent collection - anything added to the other official collection(s) will be automatically included in this one Novemetober Rescheduled: feel free to add any fic which fills this event's prompts to this collection

Tagging: I try to use a standard set of tags for navigational purposes, but with many submissions, I miss some on occasion. If you notice any of the following missing from your fics or others', feel free to let me know!

submission - this tag should be attached to all submissions so anyone who wants to browse everything can easily sort! Very important tag that I am unfortunately very prone to forgetting. Trigger tags: tw [trigger]. Ex: tw vomit, tw panic attacks, tw rpf Please note that if you need something triggered that hasn't been in the past, I am more than happy to include additional ones and to talk to participants about adding it to their warning list. There are probably many common triggers that I and others are still unaware of. Event tag: A tag with the name of the event and/or year. Ex: Novemetober rescheduled, Novemetober2022 Creator tag: Creator's username, copy + pasted. Ex: caspersickfanfics, casper-has-a-cat Daily tag: [event name/year] day[x]. Ex: rescheduled day11, 2022 day15 These correlate to the appropriate prompt, not to the day it was submitted. So, a day 15 prompt submitted on day 17 will still be tagged as day15. For alt prompts, I tag them based on the day they were meant to replace, so usually the day they were submitted. Feel free to specify if you'd like them tagged otherwise. Prompt tag: prompt: [prompt]. Ex: prompt: totally drained/exhausted, prompt: too feverish to think Fandom tag: fandom: [fandom] Ex: fandom: genshin impact, fandom: original characters

Late submissions are okay! I have a small worry that if there are too many within the event month, I won’t be able to keep up, so please do not submit more than 2 late submissions per participant per day. I’ll let you all know if I get overwhelmed, but until then, it’s no biggie!

Many participants approach this event as a challenge to have a submission for each day. While this is totally fine, the original intent was more general - just providing prompts for each day throughout the month without any pressure to participate regularly. Basically: use the event in the way that suits you best.

[love-me-a-lotta-whump]

Hello! I want to start making some whump lists of my own and I was wondering if you possibly have any tips? I’m having trouble with the wording and I feel like I might be over explaining but I’m not sure. If you could help that would be amazing.

Hello!!!

I do have some tips!

————

1. Wording

Since you asked specifically about wording I’ll start there. What I do is use words for tropes that the community most commonly uses. For example: drowning, kidnapping, hostage, shot, etc. I personally like to be specific with certain things. I’ll say what they were shot with or if they are restrained I like to specify handcuffs vs rope vs zip ties vs ✨chains✨. With some tropes that are not as commonly spoken about or may not have a name I will use wording I feel best describes it like “heavily lidded eyes”. Idk how else to word it but that’s how I do it.

2. MULTIPLE COPIES

Those who have been around my blog for a while know about me losing lists. I now have lists saved in 3 different places. (Soon to be 4) Even if you make your lists in Tumblr drafts, SAVE THEM ELSEWHERE! I keep them in my notes on my phone, Google Docs, Microsoft Word and soon an app on my iPad. I have lost MONTHS worth of lists before in The Incident. I won’t do it again and I hope you never do.

3. Stay Organized

I have my Whump List Library (masterlist) and my Whump List Directory (sub masterlist?) all (mostly) organized. It helps people find your lists easier and tbh it helps you find them easier! I am always so happy when I can easily update or fix a list because I stay organized. Also if you have multiple WIP lists, it’s best to keep those organized as well.

4. Figure out YOUR systems

If you want to add time stamps, colors in your formatting, stick to 1 or 2 countries, add different links, etc. do it. Do whatever you want to do. I have changed formatting twice and it’s such a hassle to fix especially once you get to a certain number of lists.

5. Recs and Requests

If you decide to accept recommendations and requests, PLEASE remember you can say no and you don’t have to do them. I say this because I struggle with it. But if you have no interest in making the list, don’t do it. However I will say taking recs and requests have been AMAZING! Some of my favorite dramas ever have been requests and recommendations.

6. Pace Yourself

It’s all fun until you realize you’re forcing yourself to work on a list after a long day of work. Make sure you keep it to where you enjoy it. I personally try to update people if I feel like list uploads are going to slow down, still, but don’t force yourself to make them just so you can get them out. (Another one I’m guilty of lol)

7. Misc.

Even if someone has already made the list, you can still make it in your own way. Having multiple lists never hurt anybody.

Team up with other bloggers! I have and it’s been amazing! (I tag GIF makers’ GIFs to tropes in my lists) (Some bloggers have adopted my incomplete/dropped lists)

SAVE MULTIPLE COPIES (I know I already said it but pls don’t lose your progress omg pls don’t)

Continue asking for help/advice if you feel you need it.

Make a to-do list, keep it organized and in multiple places.

SAVE MULTIPLE COPIES

Figure out which streaming services work best for you and get good at finding dramas/movies that aren’t on regular streaming services

SAVE MULTIPLE COPIES

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I hope this helped!!! If you need any more help please feel free to DM me or send another ask!

[robinsnest2111]

I’m not sure if this is an OCD thing but I have this compulsion of having to sort every image (fanart, art, art reference, backgrounds, photography I’ve taken or from other artist etc) into albums on my cellphone

I have over 190 000 images saved on my camara roll and randomly I’ll remember a drawing I saw once and I become extremely anxious if I can’t find it. Is very stressing because I feel like i need to find that image and sort it into an album where I can find it later on.

If the drawing has say cooking I need to save it on a album that is about cooking if the image has rain I need it to save it on an album dedicated to rain and so on.

But it has become so stressful I’ve stayed up to 4:00 of the morning trying to look for a specific drawing. I don’t think that’s normal and perhaps it could be some sort of internet hoarding?

I’m aware that this pattern doesn’t help and is useless but is something I feel like i need to do to.

If that’s a type of ocd how can I get better at controlling it?

hey anon, sorry for the late reply.

honestly I have no idea about ocd, how it can present or how to properly deal with/control compulsions.

i'm not the right person to turn to. sorry.

if anyone has tips for anon, feel free to comment or add links to resources please!