#I’m sorry I just gotta get the big things for them cus I could on and on about how this fandom treats them
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If I was DC screenwriter I think people would hate me
Cus I’m pulling out all the stops
Dick Grayson with anger issues who absolutely is not a golden retriever (that man will purposely target your occipital bone with his escrima) but does value his family over anything and loves them fiercely (even when they give him a heart attack)
Jason Todd the sunshine robin who’s really passionate which leads to his “extreme anger” Yes he’s a theatre nerd and he does listen to Jane Austen but that’s not his entire personality.
Cassandra Cain can speak.
*ducks away from window* Tim Drake is not a short king who is extremely sleep deprived and needs coffee to function. His smarts rival Bruce’s and he hates coffee, likes Mountain Dew a normal amount, and is sleep deprived but he takes power naps cus he plays into the corporate king role. He’s taller than Dick (cus that’s funny) and he’s missing a spleen but he blew up all the Lazarus pits so he does not care. Also he has commitment issues (mans cannot keep a girl or boy)
Duke Thomas is not the “normal one” he’s just as crazy as the rest of em and if you think he’s not it’s because you’ve fallen into his trap. The boy started a revolution and is the only meta Batman has pardoned (😝 Clark)
Damian is a precocious, traumatized, kinda mean, child. But he’s still a child, he can’t see over the counter at the doctor’s office, he wants his mom and dad together, and he loves being loved. Yeah he’s a bit of a brat but his grandfather is royalty and his father is Gotham’s dark prince; he’s allowed to be a bit pretentious. He’s a good kid and he had some bad influences but He is good.
Bruce Wayne doesn’t collect child soldiers, he is not physically abusive (physically, cus he’s had some moments) He won’t kill joker because the thin line that keeps that little boy in the alley sane is his fragile moral code. His kids were his kids first (with the exception of Tim😭) he would stop if he could, but because he can’t; he trains them.
Talia Al Ghul is not a rapist and she does love her son (the way she knows how).
Alfred Pennyworth is immortal🥰
(I’m aware I left some members off but these are just my main takes)
#the girls get one line and the boys get paragraphs😭😭😭#I’m sorry I just gotta get the big things for them cus I could on and on about how this fandom treats them#Talia was abused and while it doesn’t excuse what she put her baby through sometimes it explains why her worldview is skewed#dc fandom#dc fanon#batfamily#batfam#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#damian wayne#tim drake#talia al ghul#cassandra cain#alfred pennyworth
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EPISODE 86!! (If you’re unaware I do little commentaries and quotes for episodes of JRWI:Riptide cus it’s my first watch through :D)
Jazz;”I can tell by the way you carry yourself you’ve never had a man in your life” SCREAMING CRYING CACKLING WTF
Chip;“I’m scared of people, I’m deeply insecure, I have fatherly trauma, uhm, I’m haunted but I’m giving him the fuck boy face, I’m deeply traumatized by the world around me, I’m a product of my environment and I’m never good for anything”
Charlie;“What are you most scared of?”
Bizly;“B- bees.”
Jay;”My body is a temple”
Goblin;”Exactly exactly you’re getting it!”
I can’t tell if I love Jazz or not
Jazz;”If it’s such a good system what’re you doing up here?”
Gillion;*Insert uncomfortable lip bite*
Griffin;”I’m a big, cuddly teddy bear on the inside.”
Chip;”I thought it was like- 5 years-“
Jay;”5 years- how old do you think you are?”
Chip;”I don’t…I don’t know- how old am I-?”
ALSO ITS ONLY BEEN 4 MONTHS?? EVERYTHING HAS ONLY BEEN 4???????MONTHS????? No fucking way
Chip;”One time she pantsed me and I died.”
Chip;”You have a more like- calming voice! Whenever I talk people just get angrier and angrier”
Jay;”Shut the fuck up Chip- oh wait you’re right.”
Gillion;”Guys :(( I think Satan got our frog :(((“
Grizzly;”I know there’s a difference between seas and oceans but fuck that”
The way Gillion feels so fucking responsible I’m gonna go sob
Gillion;”No wait maybe this all works out! Cus maybe- killing me will fix Filipe and also send me to hell so I can get him back!”
Chip:”This is not, your, fault!”
Jazz;”uh no, i can take you to heaven though,”
Gillion;”FUCK”
MMMMM JAY AND GILLION MOMENTS JAY AND GILLION MOMENTS
Jay;”you worry me y’know?”
Jay;”You’re willing to let Filipe stab you, every night”
Gillion;”That’s what friends do.”
Jay;”Gillion, if you needed to stab me, every night. For the rest of my life so you could stay on the ship-“
Gillion;”I’d explode myself instantly.”
MMMM CALL OUT HIS SELF SACRIFICIAL NATURE YESSS
Gillion;”I guess I’ve never- had anyone come up to me like this- and care in this way-“ GILLION HAS NEVER RECEIVED EMOTIONALLY SUPPORT EVER DIHFKSKDJ
Chip;”We can not go to therapy we’d be there forever!”
Chip;”I’d like to teach you a new word. Come”
Gillion;”I already know cum.”
Chip;”How is saying a mean thing worse than stabbing then stabbing something?!”
Gillion;”Well- saying the mean thing hurts!”
Chip;”So does stabbing??”
Gillion;”but not in like a real way”
Gillion;”You seem like a really well put together guy”
Chip;”…is that sarcasm?”
Gillion;”BA BAM”
Chip letting Gillion read his mind so he can tell when he’s lying aw that’s cu- OH FUCK OH DHIT OH FUCK OH SHIT
Gillion;”I’m a liability?? Aren’t I?” SOBSS
Chip;”Gil im- I’m sorry-“
Gillion;”Me too. I’ve gotta go.”
Chip;”GIL- GIL c’MON-“ my babies :(((
Gillion;”Starin’ at the phone I don’t know what to say, nothing ever ever will be okay.”
Chip is thinking about how he keeps fucking up with Gillion UEUEUEUEUE
Chip;”Or is the chosen one too chicken?”
Gillion;……….whats a chicken?”
Chip;”You jumped out the window and I thought- I thought “this is the guy that’s gonna get me killed”
This lighthearted duel is gonna be the death of me I love them so much
Chip calling Gill ‘Tidestrider’ holds such a special place in my heart”
Jay;”YOURE BOTH FUCKING IDIOTS.”
OMG CHIP TATTOO CHANGE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO
#jrwi#jrwi riptide spoilers#jrwi riptide#just roll with it#just roll with it riptide#gillion tidestrider#chip last name#chip bastard#jay ferin#jrwi riptide quotes
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thanks for answering my previous ask‼️‼️ it’s okay if you can only write tips for your pov, i asked you YOUR process not someone else’s cus i like whatever it is you do to write, if that makes sense? i also don’t mean to shit on the way other people do things tho sjsjdnddjdj. you weren’t rude at all and i do see where you’re coming from‼️ i guess if i need to ask more specifically, how do you plot out ur socmed posts? i think that’s what i struggle with when it comes to writing my own? like i can find funny haha tweets or tumblr post for my/my friends charas to say but i wanna be able to write funny original stuff too? if that makes sense? 🫶🏽
I get that!!! This got long and it’s really messy so,, sorry if it doesn’t make sense~~
When it comes to making posts I personally don’t like to use already existing tweets. sometimes I can find inspiration in em but I’ve never intentionally looked up tweets to use for my socmed stuff. To each their own but it’s not for me! I don’t think they’re really socmed aus so much as like… incorrectaftgquotes type things? And I don’t really find much inspiration from it tbh. I might have one or two somewhere that are loosely based on a tweet I seen but I try my best to avoid that n make most of them as original as possible.
I guess know what kind of thing you’re going to make, in a way. My Exy fans au is essentially every big event in canon from an in-universe fans perspective. So that one’s easy to plot because it already exists and it’s just about coming up with the posts. Sometimes the fox tweets will just randomly branch off into their own things (like the Kevin-outing-Jeremy au) or sometimes they’re just their own standalone au series’ (like the andreil outing au).
I don’t really make long multiple-post “plotted” socmed stuff in the same way someone like Jas did with the Trojans au, but that’s just my personal preference. it takes a lot of work and it’s a lot like a fic in some ways!! It’s like writing a fic except it’s all dialogue and the dialogue has to be under 260 characters. And SOMETIMES there’s pictures. But they’re kind of just the same thing when it comes to plotted stuff. So maybe just do what you’d do if you were writing a fic!
In terms of coming up with funny things I guess it’s just like… don’t force it. If you’re finding something isn’t working, then don’t force it to work. I have all these ideas and scrapped tweets that just didn’t quite work for the post I had bc sometimes ya gotta accept something isn’t quite right. If you don’t want to just copy tweets and use those then try to find somewhere to start - for me that’s the hardest part of the ~random~ fox tweets and why it’s 1000000x easier to make a post that has purpose (like the party, or the q&a, or X au). I think finding pictures is a pretty good place to start, but I swear I’ve spent more time staring at a wall just trying to get into the zone of making tweets than time I’ve spent actually making them.
And I suppose it’s important to check like,,, are you (in the general sense) making them because you want to and have a funny idea, or is it because other people are/fomo/you see how many notes some of em get? Neither answer is wrong! But it’s easier to be funny, in my opinion, when I’m making them because i just randomly thought of a funny idea, versus making them because I feel obligated to or forcing things that aren’t funny because I “have” to post. Does that make sense? I always like to see when peoples’ socmed aus have some sort of story or reason, like the psu intern, or the foxes kids, or the Trojans au, or the au where Seth is still alive and tweeting like the menace that he would be. They’re always more interesting to me than posts that are just reposted tweets with Neil Josten slapped on em. But again that’s my personal preference!!!! Do whatever you want!!!!
Do you care if it’s ooc or not? Is it something that could happen in canon, or canon adjacent, or is it just an au where canon compliance doesn’t really matter at all? For me I try to make them as in-character as possible (with the exception of the fact that I don’t believe Neil, Andrew or Jean would tweet at all irl). I know it doesn’t bother some people if they’re ooc because they’re just for fun and that’s fine too. But them being “in-character” for me takes up a lot of space when it comes to coming up with the “plot” of the posts, if that makes sense!! (There’s always leeway when it comes to this tho - they’re never going to be 100% book accurate)
For me I almost have the characters as their own characters in my posts - which sounds crazy but bear with me. Like Kevin always typing with proper punctuation, and Dan always typing in lowercase. Neil doesn’t use text speak or shortened things like ‘bc’ or ‘lol’ whereas Nicky and Allison do. Nicky uses a lot of punctuation marks, Andrew uses proper grammar but doesn’t always use periods at the end of his posts, and he’s more likely to just post a picture than type out words sometimes. Does that make sense? Figure out how your characters are going to somehow have an individual voice through tweets. And it’s little things that probably don’t make a huge difference to most people but I care about those kind of little things way too much!!
TLDR; Why are you making them? Find where to start, don’t force it, and how in-character do you want them to be? Come up with your characters “voice” - how do they type/tweet? Just have fun!!! And don’t care about what other people are gonna think!!!!
#and once again none of this is a dig or a vague post about anyone or anything#I’m sorry if this was no help at all#just a dump of info from my brain because it’s impossible to come up with a coherent step by step here’s how I make em!#I hope this helps somehow!!!!!#<3#ask
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Do you know how happy I was when I saw that you updated nynn? I read it middle of the night when I accidentally woke up and checked my phone.
I forgot asking about it yesterday but I remember reading Hedwig talking about a giant snake. Was that nagini? If so she is doing a damn good job finding Harriet than voldemort ever did.
I am genuinely curious about something. Do you think voldemort spends all day in front of mirror in the mirror so he could get a glimpse of Harriet? Or does he have some ward or something that notified him everytime Harriet was near a mirror and he rushes out of the death Eater meeting ecstatic to see his soulmate.
Also you made me cry when I read that regulus had fear of drowning and that snuffles was never comforted by anyone in his life. I wish I had a huge dog 🐶 like snuffles but I am very afraid of them even though I think they are the cutest thing in the world.
Anyway sorry for rambling I just woke up and I hope you have a great day 💗
I’m glad that the update made you happy! It made me happy to update it, I was wrestling with the chapter for the entire 2 months, haha.
The giant snake Hedwig is talking about is Voldemort himself. Hedwig sensed him the first time in the park and made a deal with him — he gets ten minutes in the park, otherwise Hedwig will tell on him on both Harry and Sirius which means the Order will move.
He definitely doesn’t spend all day in the mirror. I like what you suggested, that he has a trigger alerting him Harry is in front of the mirror.
I'm sorry to have made you cry with Regulus’ fear of drowning, but I wanted to make his death even sadder that way, so I chose to give him a fear of drowning. But it also shows how brave Regulus was and how determined. And yes, poor Snuffles 😭 he deserves all the cuddles and hugs! Ugh, I feel you regarding large dogs. I am actually afraid more of the little dogs than the big ones, based on what dogs I met in my life. I wish I could get a big dog, but my apartment isn’t big enough, he’d be cramped, the poor thing. Regarding behaviour, it all depends how they are trained. I met wonderful small and large dogs and sometimes I met terrible large and small dogs — my friend has a fear of small dogs cus one bit her when she was a kid!
I gotta say, I favour big dogs bcs they are the cutest and cuddliest. If you ever cuddle with a big dog, I don’t think you will ever go back to small dogs.
Don’t apologise, I love hearing everyone’s thoughts! Good morning and sending love! ❤️❤️❤️
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watch and learn | iwaizumi hajime x f!reader x team japan
there were two things they all had in common: the growing bulges in their pants that they were urgently trying to distract themselves from, and the fact that their full attention was on you.
warnings: 18+, timeskip!everyone, BIG MANGA SPOILERS BASICALLY, exhibitionism, voyeurism, orgasm denial
w/c: 3.1k
a/n: now i don’t know if iwaizumi hajime (27) athletic trainer learned about female orgasms when he was studying sports science at irvine BUT he def knows how to show a girl a good time which is reason enough for me to write this. also, i read this article to prep for this piece and it was super enlightening, so i do recommend giving it a read if you’re interested!
in the middle of his morning run, iwaizumi slowed momentarily to check the repetitive buzzing of this phone, curious as to who was messaging him this early. when he’d left the apartment, you were sleeping, and you had the tendency to still be sleeping by the time he returned, so who else could it be?
he unlocked his phone, quickly finding the source of the notifications: the team japan group chat.
[06:43 AM] miya: hey @iwaizumi—you know stuff abt the human body right?
[06:43 AM] miya: cus like you studied it in college and shit??
iwaizumi rolled his eyes. i spent four years in america to earn my degree, came back home to support my country’s olympic team, and dealt with the biggest idiots of volleyball, only to get treated like this?
[06:44 AM] iwaizumi: yes, miya. i took many courses on the human body. in fact that’s the purpose of my job. to know the human body. because i am a fucking athletic trainer.
[06:44 AM] miya: okay okay i get it. dumb question
[06:44 AM] iwaizumi: why? is something up? you need help or anything?
[06:44 AM] miya: uhhh kinda
[06:44 AM] miya: @hinata i’m not fucking asking this
[06:44 AM] bokuto: bro just do it
[06:44 AM] miya: @hinata @hinata @hinata
iwaizumi cocked an eyebrow. what the hell are they going on about?
[06:45 AM] iwaizumi: so am i needed or...
[06:45 AM] hinata: YES
[06:45 AM] hinata: we had a question
[06:46 AM] sakusa: by “we” he means him, miya, and bokuto
[06:46 AM] suna: yeah don’t bring us into this
[06:46 AM] hinata: don’t listen to them! both suna and sakusa wanna know too
[06:46 AM] iwaizumi: okay. what’s up
[06:47 AM] hinata: we wanted to know how to make a girl cum
he chuckled in disbelief.
[06:47 AM] iwaizumi: you’re telling me that you guys are in your mid-20s, literal olympic athletes, and you don’t know how to make a girl cum
[06:47 AM] iwaizumi: have you never done it before??
[06:47 AM] miya: NO
[06:47 AM] miya: FOR THE RECORD IVE MADE MANY GIRLS CUM
[06:48 AM] bokuto: ME TOO
[06:48 AM] bokuto: i think
he laughed out loud, briefly startling another runner on the sidewalk.
[06:48 AM] iwaizumi: you guys are unbelievable
[06:48 AM] hinata: i mean she says she finished but idk what i did to make that happen
[06:48 AM] bokuto: ^^
[06:48 AM] hinata: so like i wanna know how to actually do it
[06:48 AM] suna: actually im kinda interested in this too
[06:48 AM] aran: i pray for your future girlfriends. this is painful to see. im out
[06:48 AM] kageyama: i’m with aran on this one. you guys are dumb
[06:48 AM] hinata: shut up. you suck.
[06:48 AM] miya: cmon iwaizumi, help a guy out
[06:48 AM] sakusa: it wouldnt hurt for you to give us some pointers at least
iwaizumi sighed.
[06:49 AM] iwaizumi: @miya @hinata @bokuto @suna @sakusa meet in the locker room after practice. ill give you guys a lesson in the art of pleasing a woman
to teach effectively, he needed a volunteer, though he was sure you wouldn’t need much convincing. you’d always loved the attention, and the biceps, of the pro athletes. he spun on his heel and jogged home.
you woke up to the sound of your apartment door opening, your boyfriend creeping inside, forehead damp with sweat.
“hey,” you said quietly, making your way towards him.
“hey, baby. sorry for waking you up, i was trying to be quiet.”
you giggled sleepily. “s’okay, haji. you spoil me too much anyway, always letting me sleep in for hours while you’re off doing god knows what.”
at that, his eyes crinkled in amusement, and as you tried to step into a hug, he shuffled back. “woah there, baby. i gotta shower, ‘m all gross from my run. and then,” he gave you a peculiar look that you couldn’t quite place, “i got a proposition for you.”
after his shower, he waltzed out of the bathroom, steam wafting out from behind the door. his tanned body made you feel things you definitely shouldn’t be barely an hour after the sun’s risen, and you reached out to massage the tension in his shoulders. “so, what’s your proposition?”
“well,” he hesitated. “it’s a bit... unconventional. the team asked me to show them how to make a girl cum,” he took in your intrigued expression. “and it’d be a lot easier to explain if i had someone to do a live demonstration with. so,” his eyes flicked up to you. “that’s where you’d come in.”
“a... live demonstration? like you’re gonna make me cum in front of them?”
“yeah, essentially.” he gave you a devilish grin. “you want that, baby? wanna show those boys how a real man treats a gorgeous woman like you?”
you rubbed your thighs at his words. “yeah,” you purred. “i do. wanna show them how good you are to me.”
and that’s how you found yourself nestled between iwaizumi’s muscled thighs, back pressed against his chest, completely naked, with five of japan’s best volleyball players staring at your body in awe.
practically an expert in his field, iwaizumi knew the human body inside and out. this had many benefits; of course it allowed him to catapult up the ranks and work with the country’s best athletes to keep them at the top of their game, but it also had a unique side effect: an overwhelming vault of knowledge on how to make a woman feel good anywhere.
you’d seen the proof firsthand; he knew exactly where to push, prod, stroke, and tease to have you cumming in seconds, over and over, as many times as you wanted. he was amazing, and you were well-aware just how lucky you were to have such a talented man in the sheets.
“oi,” iwaizumi snapped his fingers, drawing each of the players’ eyes away from your glistening cunt. “pay attention. i know more than anybody that she’s hot as fuck, but you gotta listen to what i’m saying or else there’s no point to this.”
he lightly pressed his lips against your collarbone, slowly tracing them against your jaw, the contact making you squirm. “if you wanna make a girl cum, first thing you gotta do is make her comfortable. if she’s worried about how she looks or sounds or smells she’s gonna be too stressed to let go.” he moved his hands to grope your tits, his calloused fingers brushing over your hardening nipples. “so reassure her, tell her how irresistible she is, how pretty her moans are, how tasty her pussy is. shit like that. the sexier she feels the better it’ll be.”
he leaned into you, whispering into your ear. “feeling good, baby? we can stop whenever.”
you nodded weakly, afraid to open your mouth, barely holding in your whines as his palms worked wonders on your chest and stomach, sending shocks of heat wherever they touched.
you craned your neck up to observe the men before you. atsumu was flushed red, wringing his hands as if he was worried they’d do something embarrassing if he didn’t keep them occupied. hinata was bouncing his leg up and down, wiping his palms on his shorts as he took in the plushness of your thighs. bokuto was basically drooling, greedily tracing your soft curves with his eyes. suna maintained his indifferent expression, but the reddening tips of his ears showed that he was a lot more hot and bothered than he let on. sakusa stood quietly to the side, leaning against the wall, mask tucked under his chin as if he’d just realized how much the temperature had gone up in the room.
there were two things they all had in common: the growing bulges in their pants that they were urgently trying to distract themselves from, and the fact that their full attention was on you.
"make sure to try different things; there’s multiple ways to make a woman cum. only like a quarter of women experience orgasms just from penetration,” someone made a sound of shock. “yes, the number is that small, bokuto.”
his fingertip slowly trailed past your belly button, dipping into the mess between your thighs, causing you to slightly arch your back into the solid chest supporting you. “foreplay with the clit is your best bet; even stupid fucks like you probably wouldn’t screw it up too bad.”
hinata opened his mouth to speak, but iwaizumi anticipated his question and continued.
“i know you’re wondering where the clit is. it’s around here, under this hood of skin,” he slid his digit between your labia. “s’not gonna come with a label so you gotta explore a little bit. i know where hers is like the back of my hand, but for you guys, with your girls, you’re gonna have to move your fingers around. slowly. and pay attention to her expressions.” he began to rub in a circular motion around your clit, causing you to make small whimpers of pleasure and shift your hips to meet his movements.
“if she clenches up or twitches when you feel a certain spot, like this,” your legs flexed as he increased the pressure, “that’s the clit. be kind, it’s not a volleyball. be gentle n’ make small circles, whether it’s with your fingers or your tongue.”
he thought for a second. “speaking of which, oral’s important. very important. most women cum when they’ve been eaten out, so use your mouths for something more useful than just dirty talk. suck on the clit, maybe tongue-fuck her a ‘lil, but your main focus should always be the clit.”
he removed his hands from your sopping pussy, and you made a pathetic noise of frustration. “’m sorry, baby,” he muttered seductively in your ear. “don’t wanna have you finishing too early. lesson’s barely started.”
he turned his attention back to your audience, his lustful tone being replaced by a more instructional one. “there’s other places that’ll help a woman orgasm, too: her nipples, her neck, her ears—”
“her ears?” sakusa questioned. he blushed profusely as everyone turned to look at him, surprised that he’d opened his mouth. “what? we were all thinking it.”
“s’a valid question,” iwaizumi said. “yeah, you can lick ‘em if they’re sensitive. hers are.” as if to prove his statement, he licked a stripe on the shell of you ear, making you wiggle helplessly at the stimulation. “‘n leave kisses everywhere else. feels good for them just like it does for us.” he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him and forcing your movements to stop as he traced patterns with his tongue all around your neck.
“something you should know about an orgasm is that it’s something called a positive feedback loop.” he looked up and was met with five blank stares. shouldn’t have expected anything from these dumb jocks, he lamented. “basically that means that, once you start releasing sexual tension, things will feel better and better until you climax.”
“oh!” atsumu chirped. “like how my sets get better and better throughout a game.”
“no, not really,” he quipped. “your sets suck throughout.” atsumu frowned at that.
iwaizumi exhaled exasperatedly. “the general idea is that the body gets more and more sensitive, muscle contractions become more and more frequent, and touches feel more and more stimulating until you cum. all right?”
they all made noises of understanding except for bokuto and hinata, whose eyes had glazed over at the first mention of an academic term. whatever, iwaizumi thought. they’ll get it through example.
"don’t worry about it too much if you don’t get it, that’s just an orgasm on paper. in practice, though, this is the crucial step: listen to her. she knows what feels good. never forget that you’re just an idiot with a cock.” he took a breath, gathering his thoughts before proceeding with his lecture.
“if she tells you to slow down, you slow down. if she tells you to go harder, you go harder. if she tells you to keep doing what you’re doing, you...”
“keep doing what you’re doing”, they all chimed in at staggered times.
“that’s right. don’t go faster or else you’ll mess up the rhythm and she won’t cum. and you wanna make her cum, don’t you?”
they nodded simultaneously.
“so if you keep up the tempo and force that feels good to her, you’ll be fine. questions?”
suna spoke up. “what about,” he choked on the word. “penetration?”
hinata hummed in agreement and bokuto jumped in. “yeah, what if i wanna make her cum on my cock?”
iwaizumi made a weird face. “that’s some pretty advanced stuff, but i guess i can go over it. when you try it, though, you have to be patient. with both of your bodies. s’not rocket science but s’not always easy. also it depends on the woman but sometimes she physically won’t be able to finish from penetration alone. just make sure you’re communicating.”
his swirled two fingers over your hole before shoving them in, your wetness making it easy for him to thrust in and out as your entrance stretched to accommodate him. “f—fuck!” your eyes flew open at the intrusion and you body lurched forward, but you were held back by his strong forearm. “ohmygod, oh my g—ah! feels s’good haji, s’good!”
“i know, baby, i know. you’re taking it so well.” he turned his attention back to the men, each of who were gulping heavily. if that didn’t signal to you that they were evidently affected by your moans, the way they shifted in their workout shorts did.
“boys, focus.” he curled his fingertips, brushing at the spongy spot at the top of your walls, ripping a pleasured wail from your throat and causing tears to prick at your eyelashes. “when you’re fingering her, you’ll feel an area inside that’s a bit soft and squishy. that’s the g-spot.”
you trembled in his arms as he mercilessly struck the same place over and over again with his fingers. “when you’re fucking her, try to keep the pressure building there, but it’ll be harder to make her finish since you can’t see what you’re doing.”
your breath hitched as iwaizumi’s incessant movements brought your body tantalizingly close to your release. he suddenly stopped and you almost sobbed in disappointment, until he plunged his fingers impossibly deeper.
a guttural scream of ecstasy came from within you, and your eyes rolled back as he began playing with another part of you, your body putty in his hands. “hngh, haji, ah! so good, s’good...” you threw your hands back around his neck, nails digging into the skin as you desperately tried to keep yourself grounded. your soft moans filled the air.
“stop clenching,” he hissed. “can barely move my hand.” you tried to relax but failed miserably as the tips of his fingers grazed your cervix.
“holy fuck,” suna muttered. “you’re a god.”
“she sounds so pretty,” atsumu said in amazement.
“i wanna make a girl feel good like that, too!” bokuto sulked.
“you can do it, bokuto!” hinata hit him on the arm. “just listen to iwaizumi. clearly he knows what he’s talking about.”
their eyes refocused on your figure, writhing in pleasure, prompting white hot waves of arousal to pool in their stomachs.
“yeah,” sakusa said. “clearly.”
“stop talking,” iwaizumi ordered. “and listen. beyond the g-spot is the cervix, which is basically the end of the vagina. if you’re long enough,” he briefly scanned each of their faces, “which i’m sure you are, you’ll be able to reach it if you bottom out.”
“haji—hajime, please.” the stimulation was coming absolutely unbearable, and you could tell he was sadistically holding you at the edge, refusing to give you the satisfaction of finishing. “lemme cum, please. please lemme cum, please, please, i can’t—i can’t take it ‘nymore!”
“what was that? you can’t take it anymore? gonna cum?” you helplessly bobbed your head up and down, hoping that he’d give you permission. “well,” he growled, “we can’t have that happening, can we?”
he abruptly halted his thrusts, pulling his fingers out of you with an embarrassing squelch and popping them into his mouth. pearly tears rolled down your cheeks as you grieved the loss of contact and relief.
your viewers looked on in horror, feeling immense sympathy for you; you just looked so dejected from being denied yet another orgasm.
“why didn’t you—why didn’t you let her cum?” bokuto asked.
“why do you think?” iwaizumi snapped. “don’t want you guys to see her when she does. that’s for me, and only me.”
“oh, okay,” he responded, disgruntlement clear in his voice.
iwaizumi’s glare could cut glass, it was so sharp. the possessiveness that had enveloped his mind made him hyperfocus on just one thought: being alone with you. “so, any other questions? if not, we’re done here.”
you pouted at that, not wanting the demonstration to be over. “but haji,” you mumbled into his collarbone. “i di’nt get to cum. and i wanna.” you looked up at him, eyes wide with want. “please make me cum.”
iwaizumi sent a harsh glance to the players that nonverbally communicated his message loud and clear: get out. they shuffled awkwardly out of the locker room due to the hardness between their legs that they would most definitely need to deal with soon.
your boyfriend turned his attention back to you. “’m sorry, i know i had to deny you a bunch of times. i just really hated the idea of anyone but me seeing the cute way you look when you cum.”
you made a small noise of acknowledgement and a little whisper of it’s okay, haji. he looked down, sensing the way your poor, desperate cunt was pulsing around nothing, the erotic sight injecting him with the pure need to ravage you.
he shifted his head to kiss you passionately. “why don’t i make it up to you?” he breathed between your parted lips before picking you up by the backs of your thighs, forcing you to lock your ankles around his waist.
he delicately situated you onto one of the recovery beds at the back of the room, before murmuring something that made your pussy throb in anticipation: “i’ll make you cum whichever way you want, however many times you want, all right? all you gotta do is lay back and take it.”
© property of hornime 2021. do not plagiarize any of my writing and do not repost/copy my writing onto any other sites.
#kinky.inky#haikyū!!#haikyuu smut#hq smut#haikyuu iwaizumi#iwaizumi smut#iwaizumi x reader#atsumu smut#hinata smut#bokuto smut#suna smut#sakusa smut#iwaizumi#sakusa#bokuto#hinata#suna#atsumu
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Piercings. 5+1 ficlet, but with piercings. I have a problem.
1.
Ian thought he knew pretty much everything about his husband. He knew him, inside and fucking out.
How could he not? Ian's pretty much been with him for a better part of his life, and they've had enough late-night talks to share all their demons with each other, however hard it may have been. They knew each other.
There was no doubt about it.
But, well. Ian should have known Mickey kept secrets.
He also should've known that one of those secrets was bound to put him in the grave one day with the inscription on his tombstone saying that he died from horniness.
Because one of these days, he would. There was no doubt about it.
It wasn't the most conventional way to go, but Ian didn't mind it.
Because, holy fuck, Mickey just admitted he used to have his ears pierced.
"Sorry," Ian balked at his husband who was standing in the bathroom, eyeing himself in the mirror, a pair of black studs in his right hand. "Did you just say you had your ears pierced?"
"I probably still do." Mickey grabs an earring and places it against the healed-up hole that is so faint, Ian needed to come impossibly closer to see it. Mickey had pointed it out to him after he initially said he was getting his ears pierced again. Right after Ian was left with his mouth wide open, staring widely at him, not trusting he heard him right. "And if not, I'm just gonna reopen them."
How did Ian never notice it? How did he never see Mickey, the love of his life, with earrings in his ears? With little patched-up spots of skin that were so plainly visible to the eye, now that he really looked at it.
Mickey grimaced as he pressed the needle against the hole, pushing and prodding against the uncooperative entrance. He eyed Ian in the mirror, eyes narrowing. "What are you staring at?"
Ian was stunned speechless. Of course he was. Of fucking course Mickey was about to bust out some crazy thing two years into their marriage that would make Ian finally break. Like having his ears pierced, making every single yet-undiscovered fantasy come to life.
He couldn't help but imagine Mickey with a nose ring, now. Tongue piercing. Eyebrow piercing.
Nipples.
Holy fuck.
Blood was rushing straight to his dick, and goddamn it, this was it. Ian was about to die.
Because holy fuck, the earring went through.
So did the other one.
And now, Ian was staring at Mickey, who was sporting black studs in his ears. Two dark diamonds that were obviously fake but could've not been, because this wasn't Mickey anymore. This wasn't the Mickey who rolled his eyes at anything gay—except getting pounded, obviously.
No—this was Mickey with earrings.
Ian's mouth was dry. It was dry as Mickey turned away from the mirror to face him. He stood in front of him, a determined look on his face as if waiting for Ian to call him out. Him, in all his fucking glory.
"Did you, uh," Ian finally stammered out. "sterilize the needles? I don't want you to get an infection."
"That really all you gotta say?"
Ian swallowed. "How come I never saw you with," He pointed at Mickey's ears, unable to even say the word. "those?"
"I was really young. I got 'em pierced when Mandy did. Took them out fairly soon, 'cus, you know." He shrugged, feigning nonchalance.
Ian knew.
He gripped Mickey by the shoulders pulling him closer. His eyes were on Ian's, but Ian's were on the earrings, and Ian never really knew he had a kink for jewelry.
Well, there was the wedding ring, but fuck, this had nothing to do with their relationship, and yet Ian was still sporting a raging hard-on Mickey had yet to notice.
"I love them." He said truthfully, mentally noting to get Mickey real studs once he got the chance. Not the cheap grocery-store ones, but actual diamonds that he wouldn't mind spending money on. Not when they would look so good on his husband.
Mickey blushed, pushing Ian away immediately, not getting away far, arms practically out so Ian could pull him back in. And he did, squeezing him tightly against his chest, careful not to place too much pressure on the newly-reopened piercings.
Mickey mumbled something against Ian's shirt, incoherent.
"What? I didn't hear you"
"I love you."
Ian smiled. Pulled Mickey away so he could stare into his eyes.
"You know you gotta let me fuck you with those on. Pretty sure it will be the best orgasm of my life."
Mickey only smirked, eyes lighting up immediately at the suggestion. He looks fucking amazing, Ian thought.
"Lead the way, hotshot."
Ian was right. With the earrings and the smugness—
It took him less than a minute.
2.
When Ian saw the photo, he was pretty sure he was going to die.
No, not pretty sure. One-hundred percent sure. Death was awaiting him now, ready to pull him in. He was already feeling faint, ready to just slip away into unconsciousness. He was going to die, for sure.
Or maybe it was just the loss of all the blood that was heading way down south that was making him feel this way, because holy shit.
Holy shit.
When Mickey took the earrings out after a few days of usage, claiming how they sucked, Ian thought that was it. Mickey was never going to do anything that reminded him of being gay ever again. He had probably been embarrassed and wanted to take them out, and Ian was feeling at such loss when he saw his ears vacant that he was ready to throw hands.
But, oh God.
Ian was now staring at a picture of Mickey—a picture he posted on goddamn Instagram for everybody to see—and it was him.
Him with a fucking nose piercing.
Ian checked the comments first. It would've probably been saner to call his husband and ask if he actually got a nose piercing and if he was ready to be a widow because Ian won't be lasting much longer, but there were a bunch of comments on the photo, and fuck if Ian wasn't going to leaf through them all. This could be a joke for all he knew.
Some sick joke to get Ian's hopes up, just to get them crushed down until he never had any hopes in life ever again.
Mickey with a nose piercing. Mickey with a nose piercing.
Carl said it looked 'fuckin' sick'. Lip was putting 😲 emojis all throughout the chat, sometimes even adding the 😏 one, probably a reference to Ian (at least Ian hoped it was). The other comments were just about how good Mickey look, which was really no surprise, but holy shit, did that mean this was real?
Mickey was out running some errand. Said he had some shit he needed to. That sneaky bastard. Ian didn't care if he was in the middle of the goddamn line at the Costco aisle or in the middle of a drug run.
He facetimed him.
When Mickey's face came into view, the nose ring present and very much real, Ian was lost for words. Mickey was biting his lip to keep from smiling and once he noticed Ian was just going to continue and stare, he scoffed.
"Man, it's just a piercing."
"No," Ian said. "This is much more than 'just a piercing'."
Mickey chuckled. "Well, I figured since I didn't really like the earrings, I could do this. It felt right."
This was the Mickey Ian knew and loved. The Mickey who wanted to try new things, get to know his own style. Mickey, who was finally confident enough in himself, and hopefully comfortable in their marriage, that he didn't even consider this a big deal. Ian was filled to the brim with emotions, and he was ready to explode.
"You need to come home now."
They met each other's eyes through the screen, blue glimmering in mischief. Mickey smiled. "Why?"
"Because."
"This piercing shit really gets you going, huh, Gallagher?"
It did.
It really did.
"If you're not home in ten minutes, I'll get the whip. So better be fucking home." With that he hung up, getting up to ready the supplies.
Mickey was home in eleven.
Ian knew it was fucking intentional.
3.
Ian might've been getting used to the fucking hotness that Mickey Milkovich with a nostril piercing was, but that didn't mean others were.
In the end, it probably didn't even matter that Ian was one million percent down for any types of piercings Mickey wants to get—he might have even been pushing him for a nipple piercing, but the why of it was for another time—what would eventually decide whether or not the earring stayed in was the reactions of somebody other than Ian.
It was unfair, really, that others would be able to affect Mickey's decision to finally do whatever the fuck he wanted to do, despite his ever-growing confidence. Still, Ian had a way of making sure that nobody made him feel shitty for doing something he wanted to do. Something for himself, without fearing the judgment of others like he had his entire life.
He was an arsonist, for fuck's sake. Let them try and eye his husband the wrong way.
Ian perhaps expected it from old, batty women at the grocery store who didn't have a clue what century they were in or Karens who were homophobic pieces of shit—but he never would be guessed it would be his own family poking fun at something that probably took guts to do. Because it took guts to actually get something like a nose piercing if you were a Milkovich with a past of growing up in a homophobic household.
"So, uh, you gone full gay now, Mickey?"
"Watch out, Ian, I think he might out-twink you."
"You look like Sandy now. Don't be surprised if I jump you."
"I think you look cool, Mickey."
"Uncle Mickey, what's that in your nose? Can I have one?"
Mickey didn't seem to really care about the Gallaghers' opinions. It was mostly just him flipping Lip off at the twink comment and winking at Franny for that last one. Ian, on the other hand.
Ian was the one who was getting fucking offended.
What if Mickey decided that all the teasing and sideways glances aren't worth it and he takes the nose ring out? What if Ian's deprived of sexy, liberated Mickey because of assholes like his own siblings?
It didn't matter how selfish it sounded. There was no way in hell Mickey was ever going to feel conflicted over something he didn't need to feel conflicted about.
So, the second Mickey was out of the room, and the Gallaghers were still unrelenting at the teasing, Ian knew what he had to do.
"Okay, that's enough," He said simply after the eight-hundredth joke about how the ring looked like a booger in his nose—what the actual fuck, Lip?—his voice stern.
"Come on," Lip said, despite the others clearly relenting, palms going up with sheepish expressions on their faces. "We're just joking."
"Well, enough jokes. You could be more like Liam. Tell him he looks good."
Lip snorted. "And why would I do that?"
"Because I asked you to?"
"He knows it's all jokes. He doesn't even care."
"I do." Ian narrowed his eyes. "I care whether or not he feels like he's done the wrong thing because you won't shut the fuck up after the joke's not even funny anymore."
That was what made the smile on Lip's face thin. He lowered his head sightly, as of bowing it down in shame. Ian knew he had finally caught on. Finally understood that, sometimes, even jokes could hurt people's fucking feelings.
Maybe Mickey wasn't at all touched by this. Maybe he really didn't give a shit about what Lip or some old-ass grandma at the store thought. Maybe it was only Ian who gave a shit.
But fuck it, he could give enough shit for the both of them.
If it meant Mickey would always feel comfortable in his own skin, then fuck yes he could.
"Okay," Lip said simply, and Ian smiled at him, thankful.
And when Mickey reappeared with a slight frown on his face and a, "what, no more jokes?" followed by a wide smile, Ian knew he had done the right thing.
Because Mickey looked good.
And the ring stayed on.
4.
"What is it with you and the goddamn nipple rings?"
Ian bit at his lip. Okay, he may have gone a little overboard. With all the research and the reference photos and all the places you could get one... But fuck, he had a fantasy, and he needed to see it come true.
Mickey with nipple rings.
Mickey with nipple rings.
Come the fuck on.
"Babe, listen," Ian started, moving so he was positioned against the headboard of their bed. It was almost midnight—what better time to lay it down on Mickey that he would look really fucking good with piercings in his nipples and that it would be Ian's dream come true. "They'd look so good."
"Then why don't you get them?"
Ian made an incredulous face. "Because they wouldn't look good on me. They would look good on you."
Mickey swiped at his nose, diverting Ian's attention once more to the perfection that was his black nose ring. How could Ian not see all the possibilities with multiple piercings when Mickey looked like that with just one?
"Come on," He said again, the image in his head even more vivid than before. "I googled it. It doesn't even hurt that much."
"I have a feeling like that is a very obvious lie."
Ian rolled his eyes. Okay, maybe it was.
He pushed himself back down onto the comforter, shifting so he could have access to Mickey's chest. He trailed a finger from his neck, then slowly down so it rest in between his nipples, laying out his palm so it could feel the beating of Mickey's heart.
"Imagine the sex," He whispered, trying out a new technique. Seduction. It had to work.
"Probably not until it's healed up and stops hurting," Mickey scoffed. "Also, I really don't think I'd like it. I'd look like a bull."
"You'd look like a very sexy bull. Oh, by the way, septum piercing." Ian wiggled his eyebrows. "Don't you see it? Don't you think it'd look awesome?"
Mickey looked like he was on the verge of either laughing or punching Ian straight in the dick. "I think," He began. "that I've created a monster."
"A monster who is extremely horny for your ass."
"Why do you have to have a kink for this? Ian, out of all the things. Just look up porn with a bunch of jewelry on the guys if you need to get off."
Ian frowned at the imagery. "It's not the jewelry, Mick. I've had hookups who wore a shit-ton of jewelry and it never made me all hot and bothered."
Mickey smiled at the hot and bothered part. "Dork. Then what is it?"
"Well, fucking obviously it's you."
Mickey's face lit up. "It's me?"
"Ugh, Mickey, we've been together for a while. Don't make me feel shy over this."
The exasperation made Ian's cheeks pink. Suddenly, Mickey was leaning in and pressing his lips to the heat, smiling all the way through it.
When he pulled away, there was a wide grin stretched across his face. Ian was a sucker for that grin. That grin was everything he needed in life. Nothing more.
"I won't get a nipple piercing."
Sadness. All Ian felt was sadness.
"But maybe we can check out other options." It was Mickey's turn to wiggle his eyebrows. "Tongue piercing float your boat too?"
Happiness. All Ian felt was happiness.
5.
Eyebrow piercing. It ended up being an eyebrow piercing.
And God. Ian was done. He was completely done with everything. This was it. This was all he ever needed to see in life. Now, he could die peacefully.
He was married to the hottest man alive. Ian could pride himself in that fact. Mickey truly was the hottest person Ian had ever laid eyes on.
Especially now that he had a nose and eyebrow piercing at the same fucking time.
Ian knew there would never be another man to get his attention again. Never anybody else to make Ian feel like he need to avert his gaze. Not when all eyes went to the Mickey with the hot body, amazing ass, great face, and perfect piercings.
"Maybe you should get some piercings, too," Mickey said as they sat together at the table, munching on cereal. "I mean, if you act this way over my shit, who knows how I'll act over yours."
Ian smiled. "I can't pull anything off like you can."
"Bullshit. You're hot as fuck."
Ian's cheeks pinked. "Shut up."
"No seriously," Mickey said as he got up to get more coffee. "Hottest guy I know."
Ian licked his lips, slowly running his eyes down his husband's body. "Well then, guess we both got lucky."
Mickey smiled and the piercings come into view again.
Ian really was a complete goner.
+ 1
"No," Mickey said once he saw Ian come into view. "No. No. No."
Ian grinned widely, tilting his chin slightly so he could showcase the tiny diamond—actual diamond—studs in his ears. "You like it?"
Mickey knew then that this was what heaven felt like.
He barely stopped himself from tackling Ian onto the floor.
Oh, who the fuck is he kidding.
He didn't stop shit.
#gallavich#ian gallagher#mickey milkovich#ian and mickey#shameless#shameless us#fanfic#PIERCINGS#piercings#5+1 things#:)))))))))#i said i had more#i wasn't lying#*ficlet
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I Fear We’re Facing A Problem
Pairing: Carol Danvers x enhanced!Fem Reader
Words: sorry, laptop is still being a bitch so it’s another mobile
Summary: You convince Carol to join you on a night out and a good time is had by all!
Warnings: WLW, explicit language, explicit sexual content (spanking, oral sex (f receiving), mentions of using a dildo), violence (but nothing too gory, just standard canon stuff), SMUT, 18+ ONLY!!!!
A/N: Another from my WIP folder and my second WLW fic! (Which I really need to write more of btw cus this was a real treat). I also may have accidentally stumbled on a little something that I had never thought of before but that is most likely going to be coming in the future, see if you can pick up those hints! 😉
Check out my masterlist and join my taglist if you want!!!
Carol dodged a beer bottle as she stepped into the bar, cursing to herself before scanning the room for additional threats.
And boy were there a lot of them.
When you had drunk dialed her 20 minutes ago, noting your intention to start a fight with some chauvinist assholes, she hadn’t really believed you. But there you were in the middle of a full on brawl, punching some idiot in an army uniform in the mouth before grabbing a pitcher and breaking it over his head.
Carol moved forward as one of your victim’s companions grabbed you around the middle and lifted you off the floor. She tossed aside some moron in a leather jacket easily as he came at her with a broken bottle before wrapping her arm around the neck of the jackass that had you in a hold.
He choked and released you, his hands scrabbling at Carol’s forearm. She ignored him as you launched yourself over the table and kicked another of the army boys in the face before turning and shooting her a grin.
“Hey Danvers!” You said, grabbing another assailant by the back of the neck and tossing him across the room with a shrug of your shoulders.
“Y/N, what have I told you about drinking by yourself?” She said, dropping the man she was holding with a thud as he had finally passed out. She ducked as someone across the bar threw a stool, catching it in midair and hefting it back at him.
“I wasn’t by myself.” You said as you ripped a leg off one of the tables and cracked it across some guys back. “Thor was here, and he brought some bomb-ass mead.”
“That asshole left you here by yourself after getting you drunk on Asgardian mead?” She was going to have to have a talk with that idiot next time she saw him.
“Unlike someone, Thor knows I can take care of myself.” You said with an eye roll before breaking a beer bottle and plunging it into the thigh of some new moron.
“You’re not the one I’m worried about, sweetheart.” She scolded as she caught the leg of one of the idiots and threw him across the room.
“Oh, it’s sweetheart now?” You said with a snort before head butting someone.
“I am so not having this discussion with you right now.” She said before punching some asshole in the ribs.
“We gotta have it sometime, though.” You laughed as you caught a fist in your palm and drove your other hand into the idiot’s elbow until you heard a snap.
“Well maybe if you tried asking me out when you were sober, we’d get somewhere.” She said sarcastically, dodging a punch and throwing the puncher one handed into the ceiling.
“What?!? Y/N, I leave to get you sustenance and you start a fight?” Thor thundered, absorbing a couple of blows before picking up one of the army brats with one hand and striding towards you, hefting the grease soaked bag above the fray.
“Thorsie baby, you got my burrito!!!” You said giddily, tossing the man who was trying to stab you aside as you hopped on a table and pounced on the Asgardian, making grabby hands at the food.
“I can’t believe you left her unsupervised after giving her mead.” Carol said as things finally started to calm down as the bar patrons eyed the god who had just strode in with wariness. She slapped down a giant wad of cash on the bar, hoping it would be enough to cover all the damages.
“She was hungry and getting insistent, I didn’t think she could start anything in half an hour.” He said with a bit of a pout as he ignored your eating, your legs still wrapped around him as you moaned around your burrito.
“You’re a fucking enabler, Odinson.” Carol said with a shake of her head. “Did you forget about Helsinki?”
“Ha, that was a good time!” You said around a mouth full of burrito.
“It was an international shitshow, Y/N.” She said as Thor guffawed. “Poor Nat had to do damage control for a month. What am I gonna do with you?”
“You could make me your housewife.” You said teasingly before taking another giant bite of your burrito, slowly unwrapping yourself from Thor as you arrived at Carol’s Jeep.
She rolled her eyes at you as you gave her the most ridiculous doe eyes she’d ever seen. “You’re so fucking manipulative.”
“Please, I’d be a damn amazing housewife.” You grumbled, waiting for Thor to crawl into the backseat. “Isn’t that right, Thorsie?”
“Her pancakes are delectable.” Thor said with an appreciative nod.
“See?! I’d make you pancakes everyday baby!” You whined as you buckled yourself in.
She just shook her head at you as she started the engine and pulled out.
You stuck out your tongue at her before turning to Thor over your shoulder. “Well, since Danvers here has a fear of commitment,” you said, ignoring her scoff. “ you want to make an honest woman out of me, Odinson?”
He threw his head back and laughed heartily before clapping a hand on your shoulder. “I would be honored to have you for my queen, Y/N.”
“Alright, that’s enough you two.” Carol growled. She was starting to get annoyed with your antics.
“Oh, are you jealous?” You said as you turned back to her, grinning like an idiot. “Cuz just say the word babe and I’d leave Mr. Asgard in a heartbeat, sorry Thor.”
He just chuckled at the two of you as Carol finally pulled into the compound, a scowl on her face.
“Let’s get you back to your room, Y/N.” She said resignedly, climbing down from the front seat and shaking her head at you.
“Are you gonna take advantage of me in my inebriated state, Danvers?” You teased as you stumbled out of the vehicle, Thor catching your arm and steadying you as he followed. “Cuz I’m down.”
“I’m gonna sober you up so you’re ready for the shitstorm that’s coming your way once your little bar brawl hits the news.”
“Ugh, lame!!!” You said with a roll of your eyes as you followed after her.
The three of you made your way to the living quarters, Thor holding you steady as you wobbled on still drunk legs, grinning and laughing with him as Carol marched in front of you. She shook her head at you two as you reached the door to your room. You leaned against the wall with a huff and a pout as she worked on unlocking your door.
“I’ve got her from here, Odinson.” She said as she got the door open, swinging it onwards and giving him his own look of reproach. “And don’t think your getting off easy, I already apprised Rogers of your role in this fiasco.”
“Ha, the Captain doesn’t scare me!” He said, doing a piss poor job of hiding the flash of worry that crossed his face. He turned to give you a grin and a kiss on the forehead before turning to leave. “Have a good night ladies.”
You turned to give Carol a knowing grin before she shoved you inside and followed after you, slamming the door behind her.
She finally let her face split into a massive grin now that the two of you were alone, a hearty laugh ripping from her chest that you reciprocated as she stepped into you.
“So, Thor knows then?” She said as she ripped off her leather jacket and tossed it aside, working on unbuttoning her flannel.
“Of course he knows, babe.” You said as you wrenched your tee over your head, moving to unbutton your jeans. “Pretty sure he figured it out as soon as it happened.”
“You didn’t tell him then?” She asked you with a cocked eyebrow as she stepped out of her boots and kicked them aside.
You rolled your eyes as you bent to untie your sneakers. “No, I don’t know why you want to keep it a secret though.”
“Mmm, I just like knowing that I get to do all these filthy things to you and no one has any idea about it.” She said as she watched you straighten back up, wearing nothing but your bralette and thong. “Now bend over the couch.”
“What?!?! Oh c’mon babe, we weren’t serious when we made that deal!”
“I was absolutely serious, sweetie. Now bend over and take your punishment like a good girl.”
You pouted and did as you were told, supporting yourself on your elbows as you presented your ass to her.
“Spread those legs further.” She ordered, tapping her toes against the inside of your ankle until you complied. “There she is. You’re lucky I’m feeling generous, we’re only gonna do 10 tonight, since you managed to keep your antics local.”
“Yes ma’am.” You said grudgingly, a shiver running up your spine as she ran her fingers up the back of your thigh.
The first smack jolted you forward suddenly, almost sending you tumbling over the couch as you dug your hands into the cushions. Carol ran her hand soothingly over the red handprint that she’d raised on your left ass cheek before bracing her other hand over your back and grinning down at you.
“That’s one.” She said, her fingers brushing over your clothed core and making you whine before she slapped your other cheek just has hard. “Two.”
She made the same soothing gesture over your right cheek before spanking you directly above your clenching pussy and making you scream.
“Ooh, three.” She said, biting her lip as she rubbed her hand in a big circle over your sex, feeling the dampening cloth of your panties with a satisfied smirk. “Fuck, baby.”
She gave two more slaps to each cheek in a quick succession that had you whimpering and sinking into the sofa, your knees starting to give out. Her next smack was over your core again, and you whined as a fresh rush of arousal flowed out of you and started to leak down your thighs, the fabric of your panties now soaked completely through.
“Love how wet my baby gets.” Carol cooed before shredding your panties with a quick twist of her wrist and flinging the ruins aside. She sucked in a breath as she got a look at the mess between your legs; plump swollen folds flushed with heat and pulsing with need as juices flowed out you. “Just two more. Think I can make you cum from just a spanking?”
Her ninth slap was right over your entrance and made you twitch as she kept her hand curled over your mound, just pressing against you as she felt the muscles of your core throbbing under her fingers. She took a layer of slick with her when she withdrew her hand, and you peeked over your shoulder to watch her suck your arousal from her fingers.
“Carol...” you whined, your breath coming in needy little pants as you waited for her to give you your last spank.
“Such a needy little baby. You better ask me real nice sweetie, otherwise I might just tie you up and leave you all frustrated. Maybe I’ll make you watch me fuck myself on that stormbreaker dildo you’ve been keeping secret. Would you like that?”
“Fuck, Carol! Please, please fucking spank me! I promise I’ll be your good girl!” You moaned, trying to press yourself back into her hand, desperate for release.
“Aww, but I don’t want you to be a good girl.” She said.
Her final spank was a direct hit to your clit, and you screamed as your entire body spasmed. Your fingers dug into the couch cushions as you squirted all over Carol’s hand, your knees finally giving out as you sobbed with pleasure.
“Oh, I knew you could do it baby.” She said as she started to press soft kisses down your back, her hand still in between your legs rubbing in big, slow circles over your pussy with just enough pressure to drive you crazy. “Love making my bad girl fall apart. Don’t you dare start behaving now.”
“Yes ma’am.” You sighed into the cushions as you came down.
Carol ran her lips and tongue over the swollen marks she’d left on you, her hand an your core starting to press into you harder. You gasped when she suddenly pulled you apart, her fingers spreading your folds and barely giving you a chance to adjust before her tongue ran over your slit in a heavy stripe.
“Shit!” You cried as you thumped your first against the sofa, your cunt clenching around nothing as Carol lapped at your sex like it was the first drink she’d had in weeks.
She grinned against you, slipping a finger inside you and making your keen as her lips wrapped around your clit. You had to fight to stay upright as she slipped in a second finger, scissoring them inside you and stretching you open as she suckled at your tiny button, making you clench around her.
You let out an inhuman shriek when she added the third finger, thrusting yourself backwards into her face and fucking yourself on her hand as her mouth still worked at taking you apart. She shook her head to bury her face even deeper and you lost it, sobbing as your body tried to curl in on itself as your orgasm crashed over you.
Carol brought both hands to keep you from collapsing at the same time she pressed the flat of her tongue over your pussy, moaning as you throbbed against her face and she caught your release as it squirted out of you, swallowing it greedily as her lips wrapped around your sex.
Your body finally stopped shaking and she stood up behind you, curling over your back and turning your head so she could press her lips against yours. She teased your lips with your tongue and you opened up to her, whining into her mouth as you tasted yourself.
“Mmm, how you feeling baby?” She asked with a grin as she pulled away from you, taking your breath with her.
“Pretty fucking fantastic.” You said, beaming back at her. You flipped yourself over until you landed on the couch with a huff, making her roll her eyes at you. “Really wanna make you feel good too, beautiful.” You said with a wink.
“Yeah? How you gonna do that?” She said as she watched you reach under the couch, searching for something.
“Oh, I’ve got a pretty good idea.” You said as you straightened back up, placing a long black box on your lap. “I don’t know how you found out about this, but it’s gonna blow your fucking mind. Say hello to the stormbreaker.”
You opened the box to reveal a massive, pretty realistic looking dildo and Carol let out a guffaw as you wiggled your eyebrows at her suggestively.
“I love you sweetheart, but I’m not letting you fuck me with a dildo based off one of our best friends!”
“Don’t be such a square, baby!” You said, standing up to chase after her as she headed into the bedroom. “He’d be flattered!!”
Tags!!!
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@drabblewithfrannybarnes
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@chrissquares
#natalie writes#fanfic#fanfiction#marvel#marvel fanfiction#captain marvel#captain marvel x female reader#captain marvel x reader#captain marvel x you#carol danvers#carol danvers x reader#carol danvers x y/n#carol danvers x you#carol danvers smut#captain marvel smut#brie larson#brie larson smut#brie larson fanfiction#smut#wlw#wlw smut#marvel smut#captain marvel imagine#eighteen and over#eighteen plus#do not interact if you are a minor
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Anon.... you literally listed all the people I simp for 🥺 but then again I simp almost all of the characters 🤡
Part 1
Part 3
Reacting to S/O Smacking their Butt (part 2)
Demi
Bae smacks you 😳
Demi’s had people do that to her when she worked at her bar and that was what she would do in response. Now she does it out of reflex
She apologizes so much but stops once she realizes what just happened, that’s when she turns red
Girl got cake AND curves. Her butt is not BIG big, but still noticeable, you know?
Really into it. She thinks it’s cute to do and actually wanted to do this with her future lover years ago, but it’s been a long time since then, so she just forgot. Yeah, that’s the reason, totally wasn’t hella shy to ask you about it
That being said, she is not at all shy about smacking your butt once you let her. She’ll do it in front of the other survivors if she wants, they can’t really do much other than saying it’s weird. She is living out her dream, no one will stop her now 😤🤚
Smacks your butt pretty lightly, and instead of doing that ‘one and done’ type thing, she does like 2-3 quick taps
Do it to her again and she’ll do this cute little giggle along with a sweet smile 🥰
Jose
Do it, I dare you. You’ll break him
This is literally one of the only ways to make him blush. He can’t be caught slippin’ with his professionalism
“H-how indecent, s/o!” what a hypocrite in the end smh
He’s like the “You may spank it. Once.” meme. You gotta REALLY convince him to let you do it bruh i keep comparing this man to memes i gotta stop 😩
Surprisingly but also not surprisingly has a squishy butt despite sailing being a work out for him. Not surprising because he doesn’t do that anymore and because of this main thing. Alcohol 😔
Do it too much and he’ll get mad. Not at you, though, but at how flustered he gets from it
Jose is a gentleman 💖 Smacking your butt is NOT a part of that. So no, he won’t do it back to you at all. And please don’t do it to him in front of others, you’ll embarrass him so much and he’ll smoothly move your arm to his waist as he does a little side hug thing with you
Jose’s drunken state is wild because his hands are all over you, including your butt. He mostly just holds it to bring you closer to him, but when he’s feelin’ spicy aka you remind him that butt smacking exists,,, he still won’t do it, I’m sorry-
JK he loves it sm that he’s addicted. He smacks your butt hard enough to make a sound, that’s for sure. He’d be ashamed if he knew that side of him
He doesn’t actually use his metal hand to smack your butt because he can’t feel yo cheeks on it 🤪
Kevin
Let’s be honest, he’s been wanting to do this with you if he hasn’t done so already
Does a little gasp in happiness when you smack his butt. He views that as a confirmation to ask you if he could do it back
“Darlin’... I didn’t know you knew about that stuff... canipleasesmackyourbutttoo-”
The reason why he didn’t ask you about it before was because he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Can’t make his lover feel that way ❤🤠
Square butt. All I’m gonna say
Nah but for real tho, it’s square, but it’s kinda weird. It has that downward curve where he’s kinda flat at the top, but thicc at the bottom
He’s lucky he got them quaint cowboy chaps because without them, he would look cakeless 💔
He is nice about the way he smacks your butt. It’s rarely ever hard, but don’t get me wrong ‘cus it’s also not extremely gentle. More so like Eli, gentle with force
The type of person who would go “You see that ass? It’s m i n e.” whenever he smacks it in front of someone
Doesn’t react much after a while. He’ll acknowledge you, but he won’t go all ‘ara ara hentai blushes’ like some others 😳
#idv#identity v#idv x reader#identity v x reader#idv barmaid#idv demi#demi bourbon#demi bourbon x reader#idv first officer#idv jose baden#jose baden#jose baden x reader#idv cowboy#idv kevin#kevin ayuso#kevin ayuso x reader#idv headcanons
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They Want To Get A Pet - Headcanons
Summary: Your S/O wants a pet and adorable antics ensue~
Characters: Hizashi Yamada, Taishiro Toyomitsu, Aizawa Shouta, Eijiro Kirishima, Tenya Iida, Hanta Sero, Takami Keigo
Contains: Gender neutral reader, lotsa fluff, Reader has arachnophobia in Sero’s part! Crackheadery in Aizawa’s part
Hizashi Yamada - Cockatoo
📣 You guys totally didn’t plan on getting a cockatoo, or any pet for that matter. Y’all just moved into your new place for christ’s sake!
📣 But after a visit to a lil exotic pet store downtown, your plans changed. And now you’re stuck with a bird with the intelligence of a toddler
📣 According to Yama, the bird just ‘called to him’ and by that, he means the bird literally screamed at him
📣 They’ve got the most bougie cage ever like MTV cribs hit them up.
📣But he doesn’t spend too much time in there as you guys let him roam around the house all day until it’s time for bed or if you leave for a while
📣 If they’re not attached to Yama’s shoulder, you often find them waddling around the house, picking things up off of the floor and throwing them, and squawking at you when they want attention
📣 Sounds like someone else you know huh…
📣 Yama and the bird dance together so much omg. They do the lil head bobs together, he’ll blast some music for them and they go to town he even chirps along to the lyrics omg-
📣 He doesn’t even have to teach them words, they just pick them up on their own… and then never stop saying them… ever
📣 ‘YEAHHHHH’ then from the other side of your home you hear another ‘YEAAHHHHH’
📣 Make it stop
📣 You taught them cuss words for the shits and giggles though
📣 Yama finds it funny too though because he’s got that 8-year-old sense of humor… you all do to be honest
📣 But when the bird chooses to sit on your shoulder you bet your ass Yamada’s gonna fawn over the two of you for the next hour :’)
Taishiro Toyomitsu - Pyrenean Mastiff
🍢 Really wants a pet
🍢 But also really scared of crushing them so…
🍢 You guys settle for a big ‘ol Pyrenean mastiff!
🍢 And when I say they’re big they are big like… I mean knock you over if you’re not careful big
🍢 They’re literally perfect for each other
🍢 They’re both massive units, insanely adorable, and they for sure share the same appetite
🍢 Speaking of food, he makes sure he’s feeding them the best of the best foods even if that means y’all are making it yourselves
🍢 Not as afraid to roughhouse with them as he thought he’d be
🍢 Lots of fetching, frisbee throwing, ‘wrestling’ even?? They’re so rowdy and for what? My heart, that’s what <3
🍢 The dog definitely sleeps on top of him I don’t make the rules
🍢 Mf just hops on up, curls up and they’re ready to go like--- Is that- is that not y’know,,, HEAVY??
🍢 I mean,,, you sleep on top of him too so I honestly don’t think Tai cares too much
Aizawa Shota - Cat
💤 You guys already know…
💤 If he were to get any kind of pet it’d be a cat.
💤 They’re chill, independent, and sometimes want attention. Just how he likes it.
💤 Well… that’s how he thought that things should be but-
💤 BOY was he wrong
💤 After living together for quite a while, stalking animal shelter websites for the perfect cat, and finding the right one, you bring them home!
💤 When you met them at the shelter, they were a sweet lil baby with an aloof attitude that you both fell in love with
💤 But when you brought them home… They became an absolute crackhead.
💤 Forget having ANYTHING on the tables or countertops. It’s on the floor now thanks to them. Fuck your water glass, fuck those papers you were helping Aizawa grade, they’re gone! Shredded! Positively destroyed :)
💤 Forget having free hands, they’re literally attached to his side and won’t stop rubbing against his hands while he’s grading papers and such
💤 If you’re not watching his little dude/ette will try and eat food WHILE YOU’RE COOKING oh my fuckingf god
💤 Heaven forbid this dude tries to leave the room. They’ll ‘cry’ until he comes back.
💤 ‘Go to your other parent, they’ll give you attention.’ ‘mEEEOWWW’ ‘Oh my god fine come here.’
💤 Honestly though he really appreciates when they’re down to sleep. Their purrs and their cuddles are very appreciated
💤 And literally just imagine seeing them curled up on his chest while they sleep on the couch ;; im so somft
Eijiro Kirishima - Bearded Dragon
🏮 This man wants to get THE manliest pet of all,,, a bearded dragon
🏮 He probably saw one on a movie or something and immediately came to you like
🏮 ‘Okay but we neeeeed one just look at their lil beards!! And their tongues!!!’
🏮 You tell him to put it off for a bit, do some research, and see if he still wants one later
🏮 Homeboy is DEDICATED so he puts in the time and ofc he still wants one after the fact
🏮 After a good amount of time, he comes back with a books worth of reasons as to why you guys should get one and you’re honestly shocked
🏮 You just can’t say no to those eyes </33 so you oblige and go out and get one from an owner who’s surrendering it (Because we don’t support chain pet stores in this household)
🏮 You guys can’t pick a name for them so for the longest time they’re just called ‘the lizard’ or ‘little fella’ or whatever else you guys come up with
🏮 Anyways- he’s infatuated with them it’s so funny. He spends all of his freetime watching them get used to their new habitat like,,,, all of it. It’s 1am and he’s just watching it hang out and you’re like ‘Kiri if you love it so much then why don’t you sleep with it’ (not in that way ya nasty)
🏮 HE TAKES IT SERIOUSLY
🏮 Next thing you know he hops out of bed, brings them back and puts them between your pillows.
🏮 Lil homie’s just vibin there.
🏮 You’re done tbh but if Kiri’s happy then you’re happy <33
🏮 Absolutely lets it sit on his shoulders when he’s walking around the house
🏮 He has a leash for them and he takes them out during the warmer months
🏮 Dedicates a good portion of his day to clean out their habitat when need be
🏮 Their relationship is just so cute you can’t help but melt every time you see them together
Tenya Iida - Tropical Fish
🌟 After a particularly rough finals season, you figure that Iida needs to have some sort of hobby that can help him chill out, but also has some sort of brainwork in there because that’s your boyfriend for ya
🌟 You suggest getting some fish!
🌟 He rly said ‘I’ll think about it’ then proceeded to do a shit ton of research on it because he literally does that every time you express interest in something. King behavior!!
🌟 You guys settle on getting a few tropical fish and a super nice fish tank for ‘em
🌟 He lets you name all of them and of course you have to name one ‘Iida junior’ like how could you not-
🌟 But seriously though he finds it so endearing and sweet ;;
🌟 You can’t tell me he doesn’t buy all of the nicest shit he can for their tank too.
🌟 Fresh aquatic plants, huge rocks for them to swim through, a nice ass heater, the WORKS
🌟 He’s gotta treat yall’s babies right like what did you expect
🌟 Constantly checking their water to see if it’s alright for them
🌟 He’s usually the one to feed them so whenever he comes up to the tank, they all crowd up by the top like doggies when their owner comes home omg
🌟 He finds the noises from the tank to be really good background noise when he’s reading or studying
🌟 Iida’s honestly glad that you suggested to get fish ‘cause taking care of them is such a relaxing hobby and lord knows he needs some of those
Hanta Sero - Rose Haired Tarantula
🧵 So he wants a Rose Hair Tarantula...
🧵 ‘Absolutely not’ - You, 2021 (sorry if you actually like spiders lol, if a singular person wants hcs where y’all both like spiders please @ me)
🧵 Lots and lots of begging and promises
🧵 ‘You won’t even have to clean the cage, I’ll do it!!’ ‘We can keep them in the spare room’ ‘c’mooon pretty please???’
🧵 He had to bust out the puppy eyes for you to say yes
🧵 And with that, you’re now the proud parents of a demon rose hair tarantula!
🧵 ‘We can keep them in the spare room’ your ass. He lets it climb all over him while he’s walking around the house!!
🧵 Not you actively avoiding him when you see them coming down towards you
🧵 ‘But I wanna kiss!!’ ‘Kiss your tarantula smh’
🧵 After he realizes he’s not gonna get any with his lil buddy (yes, that’s what he calls them) he tries his best to help you familiarize with em
🧵 I’m sorry but he’s trying so hard not to laugh as you freak out when they crawl up your arm
🧵 He takes things more seriously after that though. He’ll give you lil words of encouragement, back pats and such
🧵 He’s so happy that you become… tolerable after a while of you guys just hangin’ out that you can’t help but feel proud too.
🧵 You still can’t stand spiders though.
Keigo Tamaki - Bunnies
🐤 Just like Aizawa, he wants something that’s quiet and can be independent since his schedule is a bit busy but he still wants to have a lil buddy to love on
🐤 You’re actually the one to bring up the idea to get a bunny, it’s part of a long list of ideas you had come up with, but for whatever reason, the bunny idea just stuck with him
🐤 You two hop (im a comedic genius hi <33) on over to the nearest rescue you can find, and browse through the enclosures looking for the perfect bunny for you guys
🐤 Ok so like- here’s the thing,,,
🐤 You totally didn’t plan on getting two bunnies… But you guys found a pair that were literally inseparable and y’all had to have them
🐤 He’s already calling them ‘Our children’ straight off the bat like- y’all JUST got home and he’s already giving you baby fever UGH
🐤 He bunny-proofs the FUCK out of the house so they can roam freely ‘cause he didn’t just get these babies to stick them in a cage smh
🐤 Will lay on the floor and just watch them romp around cus he finds it relaxing and funny
🐤 Also please get on the floor and watch them with him. Prime cuddling hours
🐤 They burrow under his wings… I repeat- THEY BURROW UNDER HIS WINGS
🐤 They WILL flop together don’t @ me
🐤 They (and by they I mean all three of them) flop on you when they want attention can I jst--- *cries*
🐤 Have fun trying to get up, this is your life now.
🐤 But are you really complaining? You shouldn’t be smh
#my hero academia#mha#my hero academia x reader#mha x reader#boku no hero academia#bnha#boku no hero academia x reader#bnha x reader#x reader#x male reader#x female reader#x gender neutral reader#headcanons#my hero academia headcanons#boku no hero academia headcanons#mha headcanons#bnha headcanons#fluff#requests open#present mic x reader#hizashi yamada#hizashi yamada x reader#fatgum x reader#aizawa shouta x reader#kirishima x reader#taishiro toyomitsu x reader#tenya iida x reader#hanta sero x reader#hawks x reader#takami keigo x reader
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hello ! if ur requests are currently open, can i get headcanons / scenario of inarizakis manager having a celeb crush (like finn wolfhard, louis partridge ALSO if u can, can u please make the celeb crush louis patridge ? im kinda desperate for sum louis x reader scenarios lawl) and they let them simp for him cuz it's just a crush right ? right, what they don't know is that manager-chan has made some attempts for him (their celeb crush) to notice them and they have successfully made him notice them bc manager chan is such a charm, so what will be their reactions if they see manager chan holding hands with the celeb crush that they didn't worry ab ? thank u in advance if u do it ! but it's fine if ur requests aren't open,, i just didn't see any posts ab ur requests being closed hehe also sorry if i did this wrong 😭 this is my first time requesting sumthn 😭😭
Louis Patridge x Inarizaki manager
Oh my goshhh hi bb. I'm so glad I was your first :D (yes, initially, requests were closed, unfortunately) but this was literally such a good one, I couldn't resist writing it. (I'm in love with Louis Patridge too, bubs)
Also, just a tip (if you're gonna request on anon, make sure you follow me, or have my profile saved because tumblr doesn't give you a notification when I've answered you 🥺🥺)
🦋; Inarizaki manager (reader) x Louis Patridge (celeb crush) x Inarizaki vbc ,, triggers: none!!
“Guys. DID YOU WATCH ENOLA HOLMES?” your breathless face was red due to fact that you've ran a long way, obviously to tell them this.
Atsumu and Osamu nodded in unison, “Yea, that Millie Bobbi Brown chick acted prett' well”
Suna rolled his eyes. “Hated it. Only watched it for Superman, though.”
Kita shrugged, walked up to you, and shook his head as he smoothed your hair down (the stray curls obviously came undone as you were running). “I don't watch fictious movies, y/n-san. Was it good?”
Eyes sparkling, you nodded. “It was more than good. Besides, that actor, Louis Patridge? The guy who plays Lord Tewkesbury? I think I'm in love with him.” a dream-like look glazed over your eyes as you stared at your phone wallpaper wistfully.
Suddenly, the bell rang, jolting you back to reality. “Oh that's right, I need to go to class now.”, and with that, you left six very stunned boys in the gym.
“I wonder what'll be of her crush on that' actor?” asked Atsumu with a smirk. Don't be fooled though, behind the easygoing exterior, he was the most concerned of the lot (and the most jealous).
“Yer' overthinking it. They live oceans apart, and he plays movies on the big screen.” drawled Osamu.
“Yeah, I'm sure one of us still has more chance with her than him, she's actually met us, after all.” chirped Akagi, with a positive note. He was determined to win you over, and a celeb crush didn't deter him in any way.
Suna nodded, whilst Kita and Aran exchanged looks. “It's important to be supportive of her though. Albeit it being merely a schoolgirl crush, this could mean a lot to her.” said Kita, and his tone invited no further disagreement.
Back at home that evening, thoughts of the handsome brown haired boy could not leave your mind, and you logged onto Instagram, hoping to see if he had posted any updates.
He had, and it was a selfie of himself, with his tousled hair in all its "I-just-got-out-of-bed" glory. Damn, this man was sexy.
Smiling, you typed out a comment. “No offense, but if being adorable was a crime, you'd have fine written all over you ˃ᴗ˂ ”. Yes, it was dorky, and cheesy all in one. But why not? He might not ever read it anyways, as your comment got swept underneath the hundreds of others that came after it.
Sighing, you settled down to study, with thoughts about the comment and Louis pushed out of your mind.
Meanwhile, as Louis scrolled through his comments, a single one caught his eye. She used a pickup line (how adorable) which caused his cheeks to redden. Tentatively, he surveyed her profile, before feeling the familiar sensation of having a crush, wash over him.
She was gorgeous, and although he knew he shouldn't stalk random pretty girls over the internet, he couldn't help himself. Her pictures showed her to be the manager of a club of some sort, and she was almost always posing with a teammate. A male, teammate.
But damn, that smile. Even if he felt a small pit of unfounded jealousy at the guys, her smile was enough to distract him from anything.
His fingers hovered over the "follow back" button, before he finally gave in to temptation by following her, commenting, and putting his phone away quickly, suddenly feeling like a schoolboy all over again.
That morning, before school, you could barely believe the notifications waiting for you on your phone.
"louispatridge_ is following you"
"louispatridge_ commented: nah, if anyone's fine, it's gotta be you ˃ᴗ˂ "
Of course, after having seven mini panic attacks, and fawning over him, you set out to tell your boys at the volleyball club the good news.
And all you could think about on the way there was how Louis Patridge somehow noticed you. It was unbelievable, and somehow turned your insides to jelly.
As soon as you reached the gym, you flung yourself on Atsumu, engulfing him in a hug. “Guys I'm so happy” you managed to choke out.
Atsumu obviously enjoyed holding you, and he gently wrapped his arms around you to feel your heart beating quickly
“To what do we owe the pleasure of seeing you this early, y/n?” joked Aran.
Wordlessly, you dug into your pocket and pulled out your phone. “He thinks I'm fine. Fine means hot right? I mean, I used it meaning hot. Because he is hot. And he thinks the same of me, that's gotta be good? And the emoticon. He used the same one, he's so cu—”
But you were interrupted out of your whisper-babble by the boys' shocked faces. He noticed her? This fast? “I'm so happy for you, y/n” said Akagi cheerfully, but internally he was demotivated and sad at the prospect of you dating the young star.
Suna looked at you thoughtfully and ruffled your hair. “That's my girl. She's just as amazing and capable as those girls on the silver screen.” and although it pained him to say this, he just wanted to share your happiness.
The twins were withdrawn, and Kita congratulated you, whilst obviously feeling a bit regretful for dismissing it as a "schoolgirl crush".
In general, the boys were upset, but not surprised. If you had them all collectively whipped for you, why not a movie star?
After kissing Suna's cheek and waving the rest of the boys off, you skipped all the way to homeroom, excited to share the news with your friends.
Silence followed your absence as Aran shrugged. “So are we gonna acknowledge the elephant in the room?”
Atsumu pouted and glared at them all. “Why did he have to notice her? Was it her profile picture? I've always asked her to change it, she looks way too attractive.”
Osamu nodded and jutted his bottom lip. “I mean, we think she's the most beautiful girl in the world, and apparently other guys do too.”
“Oh God make it stop” whispered Suna. “I wish she'd just stay ours. I don't mind competing with you guys, I'm obviously better, but that actor dude? No chance.”
“We'll be supportive” reaffirmed Kita. “Above all, she's out friend and we do not own her. If this makes her happy, we won't ruin it.”. Akagi and Aran were quiet.
Ever since that day, you and Louis have been slowly but steadily growing closer and falling harder for each other.
He tried his luck by texting you, and although you were shy and tentative at first, getting to know the real him was refreshing.
And you really did like him. He was intelligent, adorable, and realistic. The two of you spent your time from dusk till' dawn talking, whether on call or on text.
And no one could deny the blossoming chemistry between yourself and Louis. He was a gentleman in every way, and his honeyed words stuck in your heart, finding its way to be replayed every time you felt down.
The boys slowly saw you drifting away. And when you weren't, it was always "Louis this—" or “Louis said—” and frankly their hearts couldn't take it anymore. It was time to give up, and love you as a friend instead.
But immersed in his attention you barely even noticed.
One day, Louis called you as you were heading home after practice. “y/n! Love, guess what?”
“aw bubs, just tell me. I hate guessing. Mostly because I suck at it.”
You could hear him chuckle on the other side of the line as he softly whispered “I'm coming to Japan on the ninth!”
“Wait, Louis. Today's the ninth.”
“I know. So are you gonna come to that bubble tea place you won't shut up about, or must I come get you?”
“You're joking”
“I'm not. I've wanted to surprise you, and I swear it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Which includes getting kicked by a horse on set, but nevermind about that, y/n, I want to see you, so get your arse here.”
“Coming, Lord Tewkesbury”
“I might have a kink.”
You blushed bright red at his words. “shut up oh my gosh, I'll be there.”
Louis ended the call with a small smile on his face. He knew how easily flustered you were with him and he loved it. It was just another thing on the list of all the reasons why Louis Patridge adored you to hell and back.
The whole way to the shop, your heart was pounding. So you'd finally get to meet the guy you've been dreaming about ever since you laid eyes on him in a movie.
Ever since those late night phone calls and early morning texts made your heart race and eyes sparkle with wonder.
You were finally meeting him.
The familiar sweet smell of the tea washed over you, and a familiar face waited for you at the entrance. His brown eyes looked gorgeous in the sun and his hair was tousled exactly the way you once saw in a selfie.
Wasting no time, you ran to him, pulling him to a hug. He laughed and caught you in his arms, holding you closer as your legs wrapped around his waist. No words were exchanged, just touches. There were too many words said already.
After pulling away, he gently stroked his thumb through your features. Tucking a strand aside, ruffling your hair. His hands ached to touch you, and now, finally, he could.
“You're such a dork.” was all you could whisper, afraid speaking loudly would break the spell.
“Your dork. All yours.”
“Louis!” your voice went an octave higher as the familiar warm sensation came over your cheeks, painting them a delicate pink.
“Oh God, I've always wanted to see you blush. How can you be so adorable?? Oh God.”
You whined in protest, but frankly, you were too happy to be around him to care much at all.
Tipping your chin to face him, Louis Patridge did the one thing he dreamt of doing, ever since he stalked through your Instagram profile one fateful morning.
He kissed you.
And wouldn't you know it? You kissed him back. It was warm, comforting, and everything you thought it'd be.
Meanwhile, the boys had finished cleaning up the gym, and started heading home.
“Hey guys, do you wanna go grab some bubble tea?” asked Aran. The prospect of food, or sweet things always cheered up the boys, and after a day of particularly grueling practice, it was no surprise they agreed at once.
You however, were comfortably nestled next to Louis as you swapped stories. Your hands never left each other, though. He kept stroking your palm, just to remind himself you were here, right next to him.
“So how's the volleyball club, Mrs. manager?”
“Mrs? Do I look like I'm married?” to which Louis responded with a shrug and wink.
Coincidentally, the Inarizaki boys entered the shop at that very moment, freezing in their tracks after seeing you in a booth with Louis.
“Psst. Guys. Loverboy's here.”
“Should we say hello?”
“I might cry if they kiss” whimpered Akagi.
“We need to say hello, it's the right thing to do.” said Kita sensibly, as he walked up to the two of you. “Hello y/n-san, Louis-san.” said Kita with a slight nod.
Happily, you rose from your seat and hugged the captain, thanking him for saying hi, as you introduced him to Louis.
Soon, the other boys came around and one by one, introduced themselves as well. Honestly speaking, they were jealous. How could they possibly get over someone like you? Someone as spectacular and beautiful as you? But when they saw you face shining with radiance as you smiled at Louis, and the way his hands never left yours, they understood.
And they wanted you to be happy. That was the most important thing, above all else for the both of them.
“I love you, manager-chan.”
#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuufanfics#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu hcs#inarizaki#haikyuu!!#inarizaki x reader#inarizaki manager#inarizaki hcs#inarizaki manager headcanons#haikyuu angst#Inarizaki one shot#inarizaki scenarios#haikyuu scenarios#atsumu headcanons#osamu headcanons#kita headcanons#suna headcanons#aran headcanons#ojiro aran#kita shinsuke#suna Rintarō#miya atsumu#miya osamu#akagi michinari#louis patridge#enola holmes#louis patridge icons#lord tewksbury#louis Patridge fanfic
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There’s Your Trouble
Word Count: 3,529
Pairings: Billie Dean Howard x Reader, Sally McKenna x Reader
Chapters: 1, 2
Summary: You and your girlfriend, Billie Dean Howard, are staying at the Cortez for the weekend but you meet a pretty ghost.
A/N: Chapter two is finally here! Hope you guys enjoy :)
The rest of your night wasn’t what Billie had promised. You remember telling her how excited you were to spend time with her at a hotel because it meant you both could maybe have a little alone time. She was constantly working on her show, or traveling, or doing interviews, or signing autographs on the street. This was a chance for the two of you to actually spend some quality time together.
How wrong that assumption was. The rest of the day was spent interviewing different residents who obviously didn’t want to be filmed, and some of them even looked as if they were the ghosts themselves. Billie was so focused on learning the history of the building and asking the owners about James Patrick March. She cared more about her crew than anything you had to say. Any time you would try to speak, someone would cut you off and Billie would completely ignore that you had said anything at all. You were an afterthought to say the least. It had been this way long before you’d arrived with her at the Hotel Cortez. This seemed to be a pattern that never ended.
Night fell rather quickly. You didn’t realize that it was dark out until you glanced out one of the windows of your room. Billie was still going on about all that needed to be filmed before Devil’s Night to her worker bees.
“Uh.. Billie?” you tried to interject.
“I’m thinking we can get a couple shots of the front for dramatic effect? I talked to Liz as well, she said we could see the basement if we really wanted to.”
“Billie-”
“Oh! And what if we got a scene in front of that creepy empty pool?”
“Billie, can I please talk to you for a second?”
The blonde finally turned in your direction. She gave you a wild smile.
“Yeah! Sorry, honey. What is it?”
“Are we gonna go to the bar and get some alone time? I figured tonight would be perfect since we just got here.”
“Of course!” she replied happily. The sound of that brightened your world.
“I’ve just got to get a few shots first.” Your heart sank in your chest.
“Oh… okay.”
“Honey, I promise we’ll go on a date when we get the footage we need.” Billie pressed a small kiss to your forehead. “Do you want to come with us? You could see all of the chilling content first hand!”
“I-I’m okay. I think I’m gonna wait here until you get back.”
“Are you sure, baby?”
“Yeah, I gotta unpack anyway.”
“I’ll film as fast as I can. It won’t be too long, right guys?” Billie looked to her crew for reassurance, though all they did was glared coldly back at you. They barely knew you and couldn’t give less of a shit about your romantic endeavors. She stood up while grabbing her mic before leading everyone out of the room.
“Why don’t we just go out tomorrow night?” you offered.
“It won’t be too late, Y/N, I promise-”
“I’m just tired. It’s no big deal, really.”
“Okay, then. I’ll try not to stay out too late. I’ll see you later, sweetheart!”
“Bye, Billie.”
Alone. Yet again. Your own girlfriend cared so much more about her damn TV show than about spending the evening with you. It stung quite a bit, though you wouldn’t dare to ever let her know. She worked hard to get where she was. You just wished she would care about more important things sometimes.
Instead of wallowing, you figured you would change into something more comfortable. You changed out of your travel outfit and immediately ditched your bra before slipping on some shorts along with a big t-shirt over your head. A sigh of relief escaped you. Folding your old clothes, you began to unpack your bag and put your belongings into the drawers of the dresser. You switched on the tv just to have a little background noise as you finished putting everything away. The only thing left was your makeup bag and a small carrier full of hygienic products. Taking the last two bags, you sauntered into the bathroom to finish getting ready for bed.
As you started to brush your teeth, your mind wandered aimlessly about Billie. You only agreed to come because she told you that she had so many things planned for you. Every business trip turned out to be all about your girlfriend and she’d always happened to just forget about every promise she made to you. This one was only proving to be the exact same. How could a damn TV show be more important than your own relationship? You didn’t understand her thought process whatsoever.
You finished up before making your way back to the bed. Though, there was something off about the room. Something felt incredibly eerie but you couldn’t quite place what it was. Perhaps it was just your mind playing tricks on you. After all, you were spending your week in a haunted hotel, so it was probably normal to feel a little creeped out by your surroundings.
Just as you sat down on the bed, you heard a soft humming sound. Your head quickly turned in the direction of the bathroom door. Was someone in your room?
“My, my… You’re even prettier than I remember, Princess.” a familiar voice spoke. You nearly jumped out of your spot as you let out a gasp.
There standing in front of the doorway was the woman you’d met from earlier. The one in the elevator. You thought you’d locked the door but perhaps you actually had forgotten to and it slipped your mind. She was still as gorgeous as ever, only now she was just dressed in a simple black nightgown. Her fingers were laced around two glasses and a bottle of some brown liquor was in her other hand. You noticed large rips in her fishnets as she made her way closer to you.
“H-How long have you been standing there?”
She shrugged as she inhaled the lit cigarette hanging out of her mouth, “Just a minute or two. The walls are paper thin here, though, so I heard your little conversation with the girlfriend.” She paused to take a longer drag. As she exhaled smoke, she raised a brow.
“Saw her leave too. She seems a little… Prissy.” Sally added in a disgusted tone.
“Billie isn’t prissy. She’s just well-rounded!”
“Keep telling yourself that.” She plopped down next to you on the mattress with a sly grin on her face, her cigarette draping smoke all around your body as she nestled in closer.
“Just because she’s high maintenance doesn’t mean that she’s a bad person.”
Sally handed you one of the glasses before popping open the bottle. Pouring some alcohol into your cup, she chuckled in disbelief.
“I’m not sure I believe that. The bitch is more infatuated with her camera than her own girl.”
Those words definitely stung. You stared blankly down at your drink as you tried hard not to think about it too much as water pricked your eyes. Sally poured her own glass then glanced back up at you.
“Look, I’m not trying to be a debbie downer or anything. I just think it’s fucked up that she’d just leave you here.”
“She’s… She’s just very professional. She takes a lot of pride in her work.” You tried to explain, “Besides, she said we could go on a better date tomorrow.”
She raised a brow. “A bit too professional, don’t you think? How could she pass up a night with a gorgeous girl like you?”
There was a thick silence that hung in the room.Your vision grew fuzzy as more tears welled up in your eyes, though you were quick to wipe them away to appear like you had everything together. “Oh, my poor baby girl.” Sally cooed as her index finger lifted your chin. You could see that her own eyes were watering but you weren’t entirely sure what for. She offered you a soft grin that caused the skin on your cheeks to flush; it had been so long since you’d received this sort of affection from anyone. “Why don’t we have a drink, hm?”
You looked down at the glass skeptically. Was this a trap or something?
“I’m not sure I should-”
“Oh come on, you were gonna go to the bar earlier anyway. What’s one little glass going to do?”
She was right. It wasn’t like you had anything better to do with your night. Rather than waiting for her to pour you a glass, you simply took the bottle from her and screwed off the cap. Your lips pressed against the mouth as you quickly took a huge swig.
“Straight to it.” Sally chuckled as she grabbed the liquor back from you, “What a good girl you are.”
Your whole body felt warm. So warm that you couldn’t notice that damned blush on your face was becoming more apparent. It was probably just the effects of the alcohol and not the fact that her remark had been incredibly smooth.
Nearly two hours had passed in which you both kept passing the bottle back and forth. Each swig from the bottle made you significantly more inebriated as you both talked about everything under the sun. You told Sally about your life, and in return she told you more about herself. You’d learned that she used to be a musician, that she had been dealing with a drug addiction for decades, and that she lived here at the hotel. She even made you crack a smile or two.
There was so much alcohol in your system now that you were completely relaxed. It was as if Sally took every problem you ever had and melted it away with simple conversation. You had to admit, no one had ever made you feel this way before. Not even your own girlfriend.
“Can I ask you a question?” You asked, your words slightly slurred.
“Only if I can ask you one in return.” Sally replied with a sly grin.
“That sounds like a fair trade.” “Then go right ahead, gorgeous.”
You took a deep breath as you tried to summon the right words. It might’ve been stupid, but you had a sneaking suspicion that there was something paranormal about this woman. You could’ve sworn you felt something deep in your gut telling you that it was true. The worst that could possibly happen was that she’d think you were crazy. “I’ve noticed that you’re rather unique.” You gulped, “This might sound stupid to ask, but uh, are… a-are you a-” Before you could finish your sentence, she cut you off completely. “Are you asking if I’m a ghost?” Your brows furrowed as your eyes widened slightly out of shock. It was as if she had taken the words right out of your mouth. The blonde chuckled to herself when she saw your reaction, then inhaled more smoke from her sixth cig of the night. “Yeah. I’m a ghost. Been dead for fucking years now.” She paused briefly, a fire in her eyes now. “Does that scare you?” So it was confirmed. Sally wasn’t alive… If you were honest, you weren’t sure how you felt about that. You’d seen enough of Billie’s work to know all of the signs but you didn’t figure you’d be the one that would have a run in with the dead. Shaking your head, you could feel yourself growing dizzy from this new information. You weren’t about to act like a wuss in front of her now. “Not at all.” You muttered maybe a little too quickly. Sally raised a brow at your response. “Do you believe me?” You shrugged. “I mean, you practically walked through the wall when I wasn’t looking. And you took me for a spin in the elevator earlier, which was a little eerie.” “So is that a yes?” “Yes… I believe you.” Sally looked rather pleased with you as she took back the bottle. “Good… You’re not a skeptic.” She took a swig and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “I fucking hate skeptics.”
You simply just nodded along as you listened to her. If you were honest with yourself, you were still on the fence as if you actually believed her or if it was the alcohol getting to your head. You had been overthinking the matter so much that you had barely missed the other women speaking directly to you. “Shit- Sorry. What did you say?” You asked.
“I said it’s my turn.”
“For what?”
“To ask you a question.” A mischievous grin appeared on her pretty pale lips.
You gulped. It was just a question, and surely what she had to say wasn’t too terrible.
“R-Right. Go right ahead, ask away.”
Sally paused for a moment to fully pivot her body in your direction. She leaned forward a bit before asking,
“Why do you stay with a woman who doesn’t give you the time or day?”
A much more loaded question than you were expecting. Instead of responding, you simply took the bottle from her lap and took a very long swig to avoid saying anything whatsoever. The blonde chuckled to herself as she watched you chug the liquor down. “We had a deal, Princess.” She sang out. There had definitely been a deal, and you needed to hold up your end of the bargain.
“Billie does care about me. I promise… She’s just really busy.” You set the bottle back down before continuing, “She’s been waiting for months to get coverage on this place. There’s a reason she’s so preoccupied.”
“I’m sure that���s what it is.” Sally scoffed. “I don’t mind, though. I’m just very happy that you like blondes.” She gave you a wink as she ashed her cigarette into the glass bottle.
You were at a loss for words. No matter what you said, your new acquaintance never believed a word that you said despite explaining yourself over and over again. In a way, you felt completely defeated. You were defending a cause with not a lot of evidence to back you up. Sally could tell you were getting upset, for she got even closer and let out a whine of sympathy.
“Awe, don’t pout. Here, I’ll make a bet with you.” She began, “If this Billie chick comes in here tonight and fucks you when she sees you in this number, then I’ll keep my distance and respect your relationship. But if she goes straight to bed?” She paused for a moment to discard her cigarette completely, “You have to come by my room and let me show you how pretty you are.”
The immediate flush upon your cheeks was enough for Sally to chuckle darkly to herself. You were sure you had never blushed this hard in your life. You couldn’t remember how long it had been since someone had flirted with you like this, let alone your own girlfriend.
“U-Uh- I’m not so sure about that-” You stammered.
“Let me put it this way; When will you ever get to tell someone that you got to make a bet with a ghost?”
She had a fair point. Surely the drinks weren’t helping you to make any logical decisions. Your head felt like it was spinning as the words fell out of your mouth,
“Fine. Sure, why not.” You were sure that the blonde was just bluffing, what harm was one little bet going to do?
But oh how you would regret ever saying a damn words.
“Good.” The next moment, Sally’s face was only an inch away from your own and those deep brown eyes were staring directly into yours.
“How about you let me give you a sneak peek?” She whispered.
Your breath caught in your throat. Her stare put you into a trance, though you did your best to stay grounded. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Mm, it’s only a kiss.” Her fingers reached out and danced upon your shoulder, “Maybe two.”
Before you knew it, you were paralyzed under her touch. Your eyes shut tight as if to try and wake yourself from some sort of dream, but as you did so, something hot pressed to the side of your neck. Her soft lips brushed against your skin, your heart beginning to beat rapidly in your chest. Her hand traveled up to caress your cheek and her forehead rested upon yours as you slowly opened your eyes. There was no denying there was a heated passion building inside you.
“Come on, Princess. Let me taste those pretty lips of yours.” Her voice was so dark and inviting. You couldn’t help but swoon into her touch.
“Sally…” You tried to protest, but you were finding it hard to resist. Your vision grew hazy the moment she captured your mouth into a tender kiss.
You felt as if you should’ve been beating yourself up for not stopping her, but you craved the amount of affection she was offering you. After the first, she kissed you again with much more confidence. Her tongue slid against your bottom lip as if to beg for entrance. Your mouth opened with ease as she eagerly deepened the contact between you both, slowly but full of lust. A low groan escaped her which in turn caused you to whimper against her. You could tell how bad she wanted you, but more importantly, you were starting to realize how badly you wanted Sally.
You pulled away briefly to catch your breath though you managed to stay close. The other woman let out a soft laugh before practically moaning, “I could eat you up.” She bit her lower lip as her gaze studied your mouth and back up to your eyes.
“I can’t imagine what your pussy tastes like.”
“Sally- jesus.” You hissed.
Thankfully, she rose from where she had been sitting before picking up the bottle of liquor and the two glasses she had originally come in with. Her hip was cocked out to the side as she watched your every move.
“You just wait,” She said as she pointed toward you, “You’re gonna lose.”
“I will not!” You rebutted.
“We’ll see about that.”
You moved to protest her words, but in the blink of an eye, she had completely vanished. The room had seemed to change as well for everything seemed much darker than a moment ago. The window revealed a black sky full of stars. How much time had passed?
The faint sound of clicking heels echoed down the corridor outside your door. Billie.
At least she was finished filming so you could forget this night had ever happened. You made sure to freshen up your hair and get into a position that looked inviting for your girlfriend to walk into, for you were sure you wouldn’t lose your end of the bet. Billie loved you, and that was a fact. She wouldn’t deny the chance to spend a sensual evening with you.
The door swung open. In the doorway was Billie Dean, her posture slightly slouched as she flashed a winning, yet sleepy smile to you.
“Hey, Honey. How was your night?” She asked, her voice groggy as ever.
“It was fine.” You replied immediately. Your head was still woozy from all of the alcohol. “I missed you, though.”
Billie plopped down on the opposite end of the bed as she kicked off her heels. She shimmied out of her skirt, then worked at the buttons of her blouse to reveal her silk slip. You did your best to appear sexy but it was proving to be difficult when she wasn’t even paying attention to you.
“I missed you too. I’m so exhausted, we spent hours wandering this place and didn’t find a damn thing.”
“That’s too bad.”
“Yeah. We’ll try again in the morning.” Once she was situated for bedtime, Billie got under the covers next to you. She leaned over to press a soft peck to your cheek before turning around to turn off the lamp beside her.
“Goodnight.”
“Wait, don’t you want to spend some time together?”
“I’m sorry baby, I’m so tired. Why don’t we grab breakfast in the morning? I promise I’ll make it up to you after I’ve had plenty of sleep.”
“But-”
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
She turned completely away from you and didn’t notice a damn thing. Not what you were wearing, or what you looked like, or how she had made you feel so lonely. Instead of fighting her on the matter, you sighed sadly to yourself.
“Goodnight, Billie.”
You turned off your own lamp before curling up under the blankets and faced where Billie’s back had turned. Tears stung your eyes once again, though you managed to stay completely silent to try and drift to sleep. You were nearly asleep when you felt a familiar sensation upon your neck; hot breathing and a soft pair of lips. A warm kiss was placed upon you as you heard Sally’s voice faintly whisper in your ear,
“I win.”
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birthday love
matthew gray gubler
summary: you surprise matthew on his birthday
word count: 1795
warnings: love, affection I guess. lmk
you and matthew have been friends for years.
you and him met at paget's wedding, you being one of her closest friends and since then you and matthew were inseparable.
he brought you on set almost everyday, just wanting you to be around.
whenever he was high on emotions, he'd run right back to his trailer where he was sure you'd be sitting on the small couch watching a random movie. you'd hold him close and kiss the top of his head and eventually the noice faded out and it was just the two of you.
whenever it was his birthday, you were almost always the first person to call him, or drop by his house to spend time with him.
to say he loved you, was unconditional to say the least. he loves you - he's in love with you.
you were at the top of his mind, he was always thinking of you.
he felt as if you were it for him.
but with love comes fear.
he was never planning on telling you how he felt.
♡♡
spending time alone in a big house on your birthday can be a little draining.
covid was a huge issue and matthew couldn't go out to see his friends like he'd wanted too. he didn't want to spend his birthday alone, but he didn't feel like he had any other choice.
knock knock knock
he wasn't expecting anyone to come around, but when he saw you through the peep hole, he was elated.
"y/n!!"
"hey matthew. happy birthday dude"
"what're you doing here?"
"it's your birthday. I wasn't gonna not come"
you could tell he was trying to keep a safe distance, not wanting to risk anything for the either of you.
"I spent two weeks all isolated and even took a test to make sure I was safe so I could come here. I didn't want you to spend your birthday alone"
that sad look in his eyes went away and all he could do was smile.
"that's ridiculous" matthew laughed and went straight to you, picking you up and dragging you back into his home. "you're ridiculous"
as he put you down, he grabbed your face and kissed your head. "I can be"
affection was something both of you was so used to, cuddles, sleeping on top of each other on small couches inside trailers, little kisses every once in awhile. you both loved it, but he wanted the real thing but he'd known you for so long and he didn't want to risk messing anything up.
"I feel like you should be the one kissing my head" he was a lot taller than you, so it was a bit difficult sometimes but you grabbed his face pulling him down and gave him something better, butterfly kisses all over his face just until he couldn't stop laughing.
"you're very pretty matthew"
"hm. so are you"
as you pulled your bags towards his kitchen, he followed you around like a lost puppy. "whatcha doin?" you started to pull together all his birthday stuff, dinner and dessert. "I'm making you stuff" he laughed lighted picking up a jar of sauce, probably reading something off of it. "just stuff?" you took the jar from him putting it aside.
"I'm making you dinner and a desert" he looked up at you with those adorable eyes, especially in his glasses he looked so cu-
"y/n!"
"what?"
"I said what're you making" sighing feeling like you've been defeated you completely avoided his gaze now trying to get started on cooking. "I'm making you a huge salad" but you couldn't help it. you looked at him and he gave you the most demonizing look. "I don't want that" and now all you could do was laugh. "relax I'm kidding. I can't tell you yet, it's a surprise."
"you're making spaghetti, aren't you?"
"shut up"
"okay fine. where's my gift" smiling mostly to yourself, you still didn't look at him. "you're looking at it"
"I want to exchange my gift. I don't like it, she's very mean" scoffing to yourself, you swung a spatula between the two of you. "I am the very best gift you will ever have. and I am very nice by the way. you should be thanking me" he took the spatula out of your hand, holding it softly. "you are. thank you y/n"
and now you were gone. when he did shit like that it made you think he was just as in love with you just as much as you were, but how could he? he was him and you were you.
"great. now I am going to make dinner. you need to leave my kitchen, I need to cook in peace" laughing to himself he gave you back the spatula "your kitchen?"
"matthew!"
"okay okay, I'm going. meanie"
♡♡
by the time you had finished making dinner, you set it aside and finished up desert, making a huge mess all over yourself.
"matthew!!" matthew came running over to you, thinking you were in danger. "what's wrong?" he was clearly out of breath from running through his house. "I got flour all over my clothes, can I borrow something of yours?"
"seriously?"
"what?"
"the way you screamed my name i thought someone was trying to kill you"
"that would be very unfortunate given you aren't a real FBI agent"
he looked upset and you almost felt bad for making him worry about you. "okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you" sighing looking away from you, he pulled you close in a hug kissing your hair. "you're so stupid" laughing together you realized he was right. "yeah that's true, but uh I gotta say matthew" pulling away from the hug you stepped back away from the mess "you look more of a mess than me gube. I think you're one year closer to that senior citizen membership, you might need to start using your cane again" you thought it was funny, matthew on the other hand, wasn't having it. matthew took a cup of flower dumping it right over your head. "matthew!! what was that for?" he was laughing now. throwing his head back, filling the house with his echoes of laughter, you could almost fall for him all over again by the way that he looked. "what's so funny?" after awhile he finally stopped laughing looking at you straight in the eyes. "you have flour all over your face. you look older than me!" you couldn't help but laugh with him.
after what felt like forever. you both eventually stopped laughing. matthew gave you a sweatshirt and you cleaned up the mess, then changed out of your messy clothes. the sweatshirt he gave you was so soft, a little big on you given he was much taller than yourself but it was cute. it had little bears all over it.
after awhile, you and matthew ate dinner together and watched a bunch of old Halloween moves together, mostly just throwing popcorn at each other until the bowl was empty. "I think I want my desert now" smiling at him, you kissed his cheek and ran off to the kitchen.
coming back into his living room with a small cake on a bigger plate, you sat on the small coffee table across from him as you put the candles on his cake and lighting them with a match. "make a wish" he took the plate from your hands. "sit" he motioned you to sit next to him and when you did he pulled you closer kissing your nose. "thank you y/n. you really are the best gift" crunching your nose at him, hiding your clearly visible blush, he poked you with his nose to look at him. "aren't you gonna sing for me?" you pulling your hands up in his hair, moving it out of his eyes. "isn't that a little cheesy?" he laughed softly, pecking your nose again. "nope. you don't have a choice."
as you sang him 'happy birthday' you noticed all he could do was focus on you. and for you, it was so hard to keep looking at him. you wanted him to kiss you, you wanted to kiss him. but it was his birthday, planning on confessing your undying love for your bestfriend can wait another day just in case he turns you down.
when you stopped singing, he blew out his candles and set the cake down. he took both his hands in yours, kissing your knuckles. "thank you y/n, really" smiling mostly for him, he pulled you into a hug. "of course. I'd do anything for you." as you pulled away, you scooted a little further from him. "what did you wish for?" he laughed as he started to cut his cake, putting them on two separate plates. "I can't tell you that" sighing as he handed you a plate, you looked at him as he started eating. "why not?" he gave you an obvious look but answered anyway. "because it won't come true"
now was a time. you could tell him now, tell him about how much you loved him far beyond friendship. matthew wasn't the type to back away from a friend so even if it all went to hell, he'd still be there for you.
you took both plates setting them back down, he looked at you with a confused look on his face. "matthew?..." you took his hand looking at your intertwined hands, not being able to look in his eyes. "yes?"
you let go of his hand, bringing his face closer to yours and kissing him softly on the lips. he was surprised at first, you could feel it but in about a second, he pulled you closer, resting his hands on your waist.
when you both pulled away he brought his hands to your face smoothing the hair away from your frame. "I love you y/n"
laughing happily with him, you kissed him again. "I love you too matthew"
after awhile of soft kisses, he pulled away grabbing the plates back. after you both finished, joking about what seems like nothing he couldn't help but laugh at whatever was going through his head.
"what's so funny?"
"it's just weird, I guess"
"what is?"
"how you manage to make my wish come true" you laughed with him and kissed him again, quicker this time. "that was so cheesy" he pulled you on his lap, leaving a small mess next to you both. "yeah, but you love it"
grabbing his face, you kissed him again as he held into your by your side.
letting your heads rest against one another, it almost felt molded for one another.
"yeah, I do"
#matthew gray gubler#gube#matthew gray#matthee gray gubler x reader#matthew gray gubler x y/n#matthew gray gubler x you#matthew gray gubler fanfiction#mgg#mgg imagine#mgg fic#criminal minds#i can't believe he's 25#spencer reid
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bartender love pt.3
Date:210611
Warnings: ANGST, mental health (unnamed) , unease about sex (not very detailed or long), g.e.l.
Pairing: Kyungsoo x F.Reader
WC: 6,2k
NOTE: I know... But, save for a 1 week break, I'm gonna try to stick with this one.
pt.1 pt.2 Masterlist
¤¤
Going on three months you and Kyungsoo still had as much fervor for one another as in the beginning, only now it was cemented by a comfortable knowing of each other; you knew it could take him hours to reply to a text, but it’d be something sweet when he did; he knew you could seem a bit blasé when he asked you to come over, but you’d be as happy about seeing him as ever. There had really only been one thing that had bothered you (save his underwhelming cooking skills). You’d told yourself that it wasn’t a big deal, yet it kept playing in your mind, that time, a few days ago when he woke you up in the middle of the night:
You woke up by him kissing your shoulder and stroking your breasts, waist and legs. Sluggishly turning around, he was on top of you just as you opened your eyes, continuing with the kisses.
“Shit, Kyung, slow down, I’m not even awake yet”, you said, not minding his actions, but rather his pace.
“You’re plenty awake, Y/N”, he said excitedly, making you chuckle. “You’re not wet yet.”
You weren’t a stranger to the saliva solution, but up until now it’d been reserved for the quickies - the bathroom at a party, a dark alley, the laundry room - so for him to spit in his hand and use it as lube instead of waiting caught you off guard.
“I’ve been awake for an hour thinking about fucking you”, he breathed in your ear as he pressed himself in. “Shh, shh, relax…”, he prompted when he felt how tense you were.
“I haven’t been up an hour, Kyung…”
“You’re right, sorry”, he said and pulled out a bit. “I have to be careful with my precious baby.”
“What..?”
“Well you are...”, he cooed, while kissing you “...my baby.”
“I’m not a baby.”
“Oh, really...?”
He started moving his hips slowly, feeling much less resistance than before.
“Then why do you like it so much?”
The sex was great, per usual, but how it started out had left you feeling...something. You hadn’t even told Iseul about it. If it happened again you would. But since then he’d been the same cute and caring guy you’d come to know him as. Sitting at the end of the bar, waiting for his shift to end you smiled to yourself at the girls batting their eyelashes at him “Damn, you having a seizure or summin’?”
Your phone buzzed - there was a text message from him: “Can I kiss you in 5 seconds?” You looked up to see him counting down with his fingers, taking big steps towards you. When he reached zero you nodded.
“You may.”
He held up a menu, blocking the view to the rest of the room:
“Privacy screen”, he smiled before pressing those plush lips against yours.
¤
Walking home together, there was a chill in the air not usual for this time of year, and seeing you shiver Kyungsoo put his jacket over your shoulders.
"Did you see that in a movie and think that's a great move, gotta try it?", you teased him, laughing all the while.
"What! I was being a gentleman..!"
"Alright…", you held your hands up in defeat. "I guess there's a first time for everything."
"You're such a..!", he exclaimed, pulling you in by your shoulder and giving you a kiss on the head.
There are two things - opposites really - you love about being as close with Kyungsoo as you are. One is being able to have hour-long conversations about miscellaneous issues, like narwhals and the making of milk cartons; the other is being silent, like now.
If you could only choose one, holding hands would win, but having your arm around his waist, your hand just under his t-shirt to feel his warm skin isn't bad either.
"Hey, do you think I could walk the whole way there?", he asked, pointing his finger when you came to the bridge.
"What, the railing?"
"Mm-hm."
"Technically… If you're not afraid of heights."
"I'm not. So you think I can?"
"Can? No, I don't think you can, 'cus only an idiot would try to."
"Am I?", he asked with a mischievous smile that made your throat tight.
"Stop it, Kyung."
"Wanna bet? Ten bucks says I can."
"Are you serious? No. No, I don't wanna bet, I wanna cross the bridge on the ground like normal people."
"Guess I'm not normal then", he said and jogged to the railing.
"Jesus Christ, can you just stop fucking around..."
You were sure he was yanking your chain, but when he started heaving himself up on the ledge you realised he was going to try.
"Ta-da..!", he said triumphantly, stretching his arms out. "It's barely five metres down, I wouldn't die if I fell in."
His stupidity didn't just scare you - it angered you - but you didn't want to shout at him while he was up there.
"It's not the fall that kills you, it's the undercurrent."
"I guess that's what it'll say on my tombstone", he laughed as he started walking. "It was the undercurrent…"
"Can you just get down?", you pleaded, feeling a burning behind your eyes. "Please. You're scaring me, Kyung. Kyung!"
When he didn't say anything is when you'd had enough.
"Fine! I guess you are a fucking idiot", you hissed, picking up the pace to leave him behind. "Here's your fucking jacket", you continued, throwing it on the ground.
"Come on, Y/N..!", Kyungsoo chuckled. "You're cute when you're mad."
His whole demeanour baffled you. He'd always had a carefree up-for-anything attitude to things, but he was never outright stupid. And the fact that he wouldn't come down when you asked when his soft nature had always been his strongest trait… There was a clank followed by a yelp from Kyungsoo - your stomach turned to a vacuum, heart in your throat, as you spun around, ready to hear the splash of him hitting the water.
But there he sat, swinging his legs on either side of the railing. He burst out laughing.
"You should see your face..!" He jumped down and clapped his hands, still laughing. "You thought I went over, right..!"
Still reeling from the shock of thinking he had fallen, his mockery sent you into a rage - now you had half a mind to shove Kyungsoo off the goddamn ledge yourself.
"What the fuck's wrong with you?!", you screamed at the top of your lungs, barely recognizing your own voice.
"Jeez, calm down, babe", he snorted and put his arms up to pull you in.
"Fucking idiot", you spat at him and shoved him in the chest.
"Stop being such a rabbit”, he frowned and tried again. “I-”
“Don’t fucking touch me”, you warned him and swatted his hand away.
“Jeez... Okay, I’m sorry, alright? Let’s just go home. I bet you’ll forget all about it once we’re in bed...”
You were flabbergasted.
“Yeah, well that’s another dumb bet you’ll loose. You’re not coming with me.”
“Come on, Y/N-”
“Leave it.”
He looked at you for a moment then lifted his hands in defeat.
“Alright…” When he turned to get his jacket he chuckled. “Fucking downer…”
¤
You didn’t want to talk to Kyungsoo during the following two days. Ironically though, not hearing from him had stressed you out all the more. Going from is he angry with me now to what if he went up on the railing again and fell? You didn’t believe any of those things, but it didn’t stop them from picking away at your mind. That you hadn’t spoken to Iseul about it probably hadn’t helped - this is exactly the type of situation one needs friend therapy for. You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, but you were embarrassed, without even knowing what about; it’s not as if she thought he was perfect - or better yet - that everyday of her relationship with Tony had been a Hallmark card. Was it because you had gone on and on and on about him only to now think that maybe you don’t know Kyungsoo that well at all? Whatever it was you trusted she’d sort it out for you as you poured her a glass.
“Damn, white wine… What happened?”
“Aeh...nothing”, you sighed and grimaced.
“Sceptical Iseul is not convinced…”
“Of course she isn’t. I don’t wanna have to tell you - but I want you to know...”
“Kyung..?”
“Yeah”, you nodded and frowned. “Fuck it.”
So you told her what had happened on the bridge, start to finish, not trying to make yourself out as having been sweet and sensible; if anything, you sugarcoated Kyungsoo’s behaviour, so she wouldn’t hold it against him in the future.
Iseul pursed her lips and knitted her brows.
"Hm… Is it that bad, though?"
"Agh..! You don't think so?"
"He was an idiot, for sure, and I get why you're angry, but I thought you were gonna tell me something major. You know how guys, not even guys - people - are. Out of the blue they do some weird shit", she said, shrugging her shoulders. "Or are you seriously thinking of ending it over this..?"
You had a knot in your stomach. You knew you had to tell her about when he'd woken you up.
"No. But I'm worried it might be a part of something else, his true self or something …", you sighed, making byunny ears. "The other night. He…" You paused, trying to find a segway in. "I don't know, he…"
Iseul's eyes narrowed as she leaned slightly forward.
"Did something...", you said, fidgeting with the seam of your trousers.
She put her glass down and looked you dead in the eye, her chest rising high with nervousness.
"What do you mean "he did something"?"
"Listen. I didn't think it was a big deal when it happened, so I didn't tell him."
"Okay…"
"I mean, it's not like I brought it up to him and he's had a chance to explain himself - it. It's been sitting uneasily on my mind, is all, alright?"
"You're making me uneasy. Just tell me."
If you said it out loud it would be fact and real, instead of your bothersome secret.
"Agh! Okay", you sighed loudly. "He woke me up the other night, last week, wanted to have sex. But you know how you are when you wake up like that, you need a minute to understand that you're even up, right? And if your head needs a minute…", you trailed off, raising your brows demonstratively.
"Your body needs two", Iseul filled in. "Yeah, course."
"But he didn't...care? He just spat and tried to do it anyway-"
"Wait", she said, and went still. "Are you telling me that he-"
"No. NO", you said sternly, grabbing her wrists. "NOT THAT. I swear. God, Jesus, the saints, it wasn't like that, Is. It was just...", you shook your head, yourself still not being able to put words nor feelings to it properly. “It was…”
“Not right..?”
“Yeah. It was just not right. But he didn’t like...force it, when I told him to slow down. It was normal after that, so I don’t know… Do you get why I’m- no wait. He called me baby.”
“He always says that to you, doesn’t he?”
“No, it was more like that.”
“Like daddy baby?”
“Yeah. He’s never done that. Maybe he’s wanted to, but didn’t know how to ask, but with the whole thing and now this...fucking bridge thing…”
“I think you should talk to him about it, all of it. What? What’s with the face?”
“I thought you were gonna fly off the handles when I told you. You know how nervous I’ve been..!”
“Few years ago I prolly would have…”, she smiled, and took her first sip in a long time.
“Ah, Tony calmed you down?”
“More like Tony taught me people are allowed some fuck-ups… Not just him, me too. Things can snowball so fast. If we hadn’t started talking - or listening - we wouldn’t have made it. ‘Cus...you don’t wanna break up- wait! You’re not officially a couple are you..!”
“No, we're not, Mrs Tony. And no, I don’t.”
“Well, then it’s simple, if not easy. There might be something going on with him that he’s not saying, you know. If you manage to get your foot in the door maybe he’ll let you in, hun.”
“Ah..! Now you made me wanna call him now, forgive and have sunsets and roses..!”, you wailed.
“Fuck that. He apologizes first, you hear?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be angry again in an hour. Thanks.”
“Before we go all sunset… If you ever feel not comfortable with sex, don’t do it.”
“I know.”
“No, I’m serious. Trying new things, you do for him, he does for you, sure. But never do it so he won’t be in a pissy mood, or whatever. That shit will fuck with your selfworth so bad you don’t even know...“
“Mm… I guess I just don’t know how to broach the subject…”
“Do you trust him? Apart from being mad at the moment?”
“Yeah. Yes.”
“Then start with some Dr. Phil shit “Kyungsoo, I trust and lo-”. Iseul stopped mid-sentence and looked at you with glittering eyes. “Do you love him?”
“Go on with your Dr. Phil.”
“Do you? Come on, you do..!”
“Go. On”, you said, trying to be stern, but breaking into a smile.
“Kyungsoo, I trust and may love-”
“Oh, shut up, Is..!”, you hollered. “See, this is why I always regret telling you things…”
“You didn’t even tell me anything”, Iseul affirmed innocently, putting her hands up.
“Yaic… Give me the damn bottle, and let’s talk about something else.”
“Cheers to that. Let’s leave anger behind. Let’s talk about…”, she giggled, and you knew precisely what was coming “...loooove.”
Iseul was your best friend in everything.
¤
Another two days passed and as predicted, your anger came back. As you lay down to sleep after your shift, the day just getting started with a pale blue on the horizon, you continued the three-stop circle you'd been on for a few hours: blazing irritation, want, anxiousness. You grabbed your phone and open the inbox to read the text for the umpteenth time:
"I MISS YOU! COME DOWN, I'M WORKING!"
Your heart had skipped a few beats when you read the first part, but went stone cold when you read the rest. Or rather; when you didn't read what you should have - an apology. Incensed is the perfect way to put it, and of course you hadn't done yourself any favours by going over it again and again, in a sense deciding what Kyungsoo was thinking (that there was nothing to apologise for) instead of sticking with the facts (he said he misses you and wants to see you). That part is what had you feeling restless, thinking maybe you shouldn't have ignored him; even seeing his missed call you could've texted him to let him know you were at work. But then again, why should you? Why should you come running as soon as he snaps his fingers - especially after all this time without a beep from him? And that's how you went until you dozed off.
You couldn’t tell how long you’d slept, but judging by the dark shadows still stretching out from the corners of your room it wasn’t very long. You looked around, ears pointed, to figure out what had awoken you.
“Y/N..!”
It was coming from outside. Throwing your covers to the side you got up and peeked out through the curtains. Sitting on the grass below your apartment was Kyungsoo.
“For fucks sake…”, you swore under your breath as you opened the window. “What!?”, you hissed.
“Y/N..!”
When he got to his feet and brushed himself off he stumbled: he was - as they say - as drunk as a skunk. As if your patience wasn’t already wearing thin he continued shouting.
“Open the door..! I miss-”
“Shh! People are trying to sleep..!”
“So let me in!”
If not for anything else than to make sure your neighbours didn’t call the cops on you, you hurried down the stairs and let him in.
The sweet smell of alcohol surrounding him nauseated you, so you kept your distance as he was kicking off his shoes in the hallway.
“Why didn’t you go home?”
“I wanted to see you. Why didn’t you come down to the bar?”
There’s no point in arguing with an intoxicated person, so you gave work as your excuse.
“I was working too, but I still made time for you”, he said like a little know-it-all, bobbing his head, squinting with one eye.
“How much did you drink, Kyung? Henki isn’t even open this late…”
“Not enough. We went to Andrew’s place.” He paused to swallow a burp. “And then I missed you, so now I’m here..!”
“Dandy… Well, I just got back, I have to sleep”, you said and went back to your bedroom.
“Does that mean no sex?”
You bit your tongue, careful not to give him the earful you so desperately wanted to.
“Mm-hm…”
“That’s okay”, he said and slumped down on the bed. “We’ll be sexless from- oh, shit!”
They way he hurried out the door you knew what was coming - literally. Luckily you heard the lid smack open before the retching. You were annoyed as hell that he’d come over, and the sounds coming from the bathroom made you cringe - but it also made you feel sorry for him, and remember what Iseul had said about patience.
“Where’s my…”, he groaned, then stopped to spit.“Where’s my toothbrush..?”
He looked so pitiful where you found him, sat grimacing on the floor.
“Are you sure you’re done?”
“Yes”, he nodded with his eyes closed. “I just wanna go to bed.”
“Here”, you said, holding out his toothbrush, pasted and ready.
His eyes had become glossy, making him look almost like a seal when he looked up at you. You sat down with him as he brushed his teeth and felt the ice thaw.
A bit more lucid, but tired and somewhat slurring his words he crawled under the covers.
"I'm so glad you're not still mad."
"I am", you sighed tiredly.
He stopped mid-motion of putting his arm around you, letting it rest on your hip instead.
"Why'd you let me in?"
"The cops..?"
"Don't be mad at me, Y/N", he whined. “Please…”
"I won't be", you replied and pulled his arm up around you.
The sweet vapors of drink still surrounded him, but the feeling of his body enveloping you one-upped them. When you're used to sleeping with someone's chest on your back, being without is like going without a safety blanket. The scolding could wait til the morning.
¤
Getting over a fight, finally seeing each other, has a way of shining the brightest light on things, making them new. As you lay listening to Kyungsoo’s breathing, his stuffy nose irregularly whistling, all traces of anger seemed to have vanished. That is not to say the issue had, but you thought the best course would be to actually talk, not berate.
When you started tracing the lettering on his back his shoulder blades pushed together as if it tickled.
“Good morning. Day”, you said and scooted closer.
To your disappointment - albeit not total surprise - he pulled the covers over his head when you put your arm around his waist. Not what you were hoping for after so many days apart.
“Did the nightly prince turn into a hungover frog?”, you snickered. “Hey”, you said in a softer voice, but you could see the silhouette of his hand moving up to his head. “I’ll get you something for your head and make some broth. You need something in your stomach.”
You’d been there a few times yourself; headache so bad you think you’ll never be able to stand on your feet again and nausea so bad you feel you never want to eat again. One fed the other, so starting off with the soup from insta-noodles was perfect - it could be downed in a few mouthfuls and it restored your salt levels. In an hour or two he’d manage to get some fruits and coffee down.
But when you went back to see if he was ready for more you found he hadn’t even finished half of it, seemingly swallowed the pills and rolled around to your side of the bed. You opened the window a bit, hoping the fresh air would make him feel better, before kneeling down by the bed. His hand was peeking out so you held it lightly.
“I put some coffee and nectarines on the table here”, you whispered. “I know you feel sick, but you’ll feel better if you eat. I’m working tonight, and going over to Is in a few hours. You can stay, but I’d worry less if you got a little better before I leave, Kyung.”
When he didn’t say anything you sighed in compassion, kissed him on the hand and let him rest.
¤
He hadn’t eaten anything before you left - nor responded to any of your texts or calls from work - so it was with pity, worry, and determination to get him to eat you opened the door. It was dark in the hallway with only a faint light coming through from the living room window. It wasn’t without some despondency, not having spent actual time with him, you flicked on the lights and looked at the floor to see if he had dropped your spare key through the mail drop like you said. Not seeing it you got a little excited - had he kept it, claimed it, as his?; did that mean you would be getting one in return next time?
When you took your shoes off, you realised that the chill you’d felt on your body and chucked down to you being tired, extended to the floor - it was freezing cold. The radiator was warm to the touch.
“Kyung…”, you sighed.
Guessing he must’ve forgotten to close the window, the thought of laying down in the iced bed made you groan as you turned the corner and braced yourself to go in. The door was closed. He can’t still be here, you frowned. The temperature drop gave you goosebumps in a second and seeing Kyungsoo did nothing to warm you up; exactly as you had left him, there he lay.
“Jesus, Kyung, it’s freezing in here”, you exclaimed, and hurried to close the window.
When you turned on the lamp on the nightstand you saw he hadn’t taken a bite or sip.
“Haven’t you be-”
You stopped dead in your tracks when you saw the look of him. He had the covers pulled up to his eyes, but you could see clear as day that he was drained; his skin had an almost greyish hue to it and his eyes were tired, zoned out.
“What’s the matter?”, you asked, putting your hand on his forehead to see if he was running a fever. He shrunk away from it and turned, making you all the more worried. “Hey…”
You tried soothing him by caressing his back, but he curled his shoulders with dislike and grunted something sounding like “no”, or maybe “don’t”. Realising it was the same thing he'd done in the morning you got worried - scared - for real, thinking this wasn't just some metaphysical hangover. What do I do? Call the emergency services? Loey. What if he doesn't want me to? Shit. Call Loey. You sat motionless, staring at his back for what seemed like an eternity. You wanted so badly to touch him, to hug him, but it obviously made him feel worse. Why… Gathering courage you went to find his trousers, feeling the pockets for his phone.
"Kyung… I'm gonna call Loey. I… Can you tell me if you don't want me to?"
Perhaps it was nothing more than a slow blink, but it could’ve been an OK.
You paced back and forth in the living room, swallowing nothing from your dry mouth, as you waited on Loey to pick up. What if he didn't think it was a big deal, or understand what you were talking about, what then?
"Radio night love with Loey, what's on your mind, caller?", he answered jovially.
"Eh, hi, Lo'. It's Y/N."
"Oo?"
"Yeah, I don't know… I think something's wrong with Kyung. He's-"
"Wrong how? Are you- where are you?" The change in his tone meant he knew what this was.
"At home, he's just lying there-"
"Okay, I'm coming."
"What should I do? He hasn't even eaten in a day."
"Don't worry, I'll be there in 20. Just let him be."
You waited for Lo' on the bedroom floor; sitting out of Kyungsoo's view so he wouldn't feel watched. Having Lo' take control of the situation made you feel both better and worse: he obviously knows what to do - which means it's likely this has happened before. And will happen again. Thinking back on the past two weeks, you see it so clearly now - so fucking clearly. Did I make it worse by fighting with him? Could I have stopped it if I'd caught- the phone rang in your hand. Finally, Loey was downstairs.
¤
"Has he been weird, hyper?", he asked, keeping you in the stairwell.
"Yeah. I thought he was just…", you throw your hands up. "Acting a little wild, having extra energy. We had a fight last week, so I hadn't seen him until last night."
The guilt of having shut him out overwhelmed you and your tears started pouring freely from your eyes. “I should’ve known something was wrong, instead of just-”
"Hey. Hey, hey…", Lo' tried to calm you down, grabbing your shoulders. "It's not your fault. If anything it’s mine, for not knowing he was lying to me...", he sighed.
“Lying..?”
“I asked him if he was off his meds last week. I should’ve fucking known he was lying, he wasn’t just in a good mood. I didn’t get back until a few hours ago so I couldn’t check either. Is he sleeping?”, he asked, and continued up the stairs.
“I don’t know…”
Off his meds?
¤
“Can I talk to him alone?”
“Mm. I’ll…”, you trailed off, but walked towards the kitchen.
“Hi buddy…”, you heard him say in his deep, low voice before closing the door.
You could hear a faint rustling of the covers and gathered Kyungsoo was at least reacting to Loey. Thank god.
You hadn’t waited very long when Loey came back out. He sighed and tried to put on a brave face.
“We’re gonna go. I’m taking him to the hospital…”
“Oh… Can’t you take him home, give him his meds?”, you asked, feeling small and dumb.
“Not with this”, he said, pointing backwards. “He knows he has to.”
“Yeah… Of course. Um…”
“We should go…”, he said awkwardly and turned around.
“Lo’… Will he get back to normal?”
“Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll call you when we’re done, okay?”
When they came out, Kyungsoo was fully dressed. The clothes that yesterday represented a very drunk and stupid Kyungsoo were now doused in helplessness. You could see that everything was heavy for him; standing up, waiting. For a split second the haze covering his eyes was lifted and they were clear as day - for a split second you saw utter despair. You pressed your body hard against the wall to stop yourself from moving, holding your arms crossed tight.
Loey looked around the hallway, lifting up your clothes.
“His jacket..?”
“He didn’t have one”, you said, remembering how cold it was.
“Here", he said, pulling off his own sweater and dressed Kyungsoo in it. "It's bad enough without you catching a cold."
Kyungsoo seemed to let Loey do what he wanted, like a child who's done crying and tiredly agrees to everything. Selfishly, you wished he'd responded to you like that instead of being uncomfortable with your touch.
"Okay, let's go", he said and opened the door. "I'll...call you later."
Through the window you could see them getting in the car; Loey's hand reaching out to put the seatbelt on Kyungsoo. As they drove off towards the paler sky you shivered and breathed out slowly. Don't cry. You heard Lo', he's gonna be fine. Blinking your tears back down you decided there wasn't much else to do than go to bed - unless you wanted to stay up and stay worried - so you washed up and went to lie down. There was a whiff of his scent whenever you moved the covers or pillow, making it impossible to banish the thoughts completely; and so you fell asleep with a ghost in your body, clutching your phone waiting for Loey's call.
You were startled awake by the heavy guitar riffs blasting in your ears.
“Yeah…”, you grunted, still drunk with sleep.
“Shit, did I wake you? It’s Lo’.”
“No”, you said, rubbing your eyes. “I mean yes. How’d it go? How is he?”
As soon as you got your bearings, the somersaults in your stomach were back at it.
“Eh, he’s...not fine, I mean, you saw him. But at least he’s sleeping now”, he sighed, worn out not just by this night’s event, but every night like this.
“Where is he?”
You were desperately hoping Loey would say he was with him at home, but it didn’t come as a surprise when he explained Kyungsoo had been admitted to the hospital and would be staying there for some unknown amount of time. Understanding you didn’t know what - or how - to say or ask, he tried his best to put your mind at ease.
“He’ll be back, Y/N. It’s like he says, just a glitch in his matrix. He’s pretty sedated now-”
“Sedated?”, you burst out. “What do you mean? He was calm when you left..?”
“No, not sedated. It’s a side effect from the drugs he takes to avoid worse ones from his real meds. He gets tired, sleeps all the time. He’ll be up in a few days.”
“Shit, you scared me", you exhaled heavily. "Are you allowed to visit him?"
"Yeah, sure. His mum will call once he's up. You want me to go with you?"
"Should I go?"
Judging by the silence on the other end of the line, Loey was surprised at your question.
"I mean, maybe he doesn't want me to come? He never told me about this. I don't want him to be embarrassed…"
"He won't be."
"Okay, maybe not embarrassed, but like he wants to tell me himself when he's ready, you know. If he knows you've already told me-"
"He's not like that", Loey interjected. "What was he gonna say? That he just had a bad hangover, come on. He'll be happy to see you."
"You sure? What if...ai, I don't know..."
"I'll ask him when I see him, alright?"
"If he says it's okay, yeah, I'll go."
"He's not gonna dump you over it. He was gonna tell you anyway."
"He was..?"
"Of course he was. You couldn't very well get hitched without him letting you know, could he?"
"Hitched? Married? Eh, I think we're a few years away from that carnival, Lo'…", you brushed it off, but couldn't help smiling to yourself.
"That's what the kids always say… All I'm saying is he's nuts about you and I know he'd like it if you came by. Unless..?"
"Uh-uh, no. If he says yes, just you try to stop me", you said energised.
"That's the spirit, Y/N..! But one more thing…"
"What?"
"What you think of my new hair?"
You could tell he was grinning, trying to lighten up the heavy mood.
"Oh, shit. You're blonde!", you shouted, suddenly realising he'd dyed his hair. "Shit, Lo'..! It looks good."
“I wasn’t sure about it myself, but one of the other roadies convinced me to try it.”
“Did this roadie happen to be a woman, Lo’..?”
He laughed and cleared his throat.
“I’m not saying she wasn’t...”
“You two…”, you sighed and felt the absence of Kyungsoo. “You okay?”
“Me? I’m tough as nails, an iron man. Honestly, if I’m not freakin’ out, you don’t have to.”
“I guess… Yeah, you’re right. Thanks. Call when you hear something?”
“No doubt. Bye.
“Bye.”
¤
A part of you wanted the elevator to malfunction so you’d be stuck between floors, unable to see him. Ever since waking up, the scales of excitement vs. nerves had slowly been shifting towards nerves and every time the digits on the monitor changed the buzzing in your body increased. You knew - or at least thought - that it was just a matter of getting the first awkward moments out of the way, but logic was apparently not applicable to this situation. You rubbed your sternum with your knuckles, hoping to relax the electrified lump you had in there, but as soon as the elevator pinged you knew it was no point, you’d simply have to walk in there, ready or not.
As soon as you came up to the desk a kind-faced nurse looked up from her seat. Reassurance.
“Hello..!”
“Hi. Eh, I’m here to visit someone..?”
“M-hm. Who?”
“Kyungsoo”, you answered, again somehow making it sound like a question.
“Hm, okay, let me see here”, she said, and fiddled with the computer in front of her. “Ah, here it is. 4 PM with Kyungsoo...and your name is…”
“Y/N.”
“Y/N. Yep, that’s right. Let me just see he’s not sleeping”, she said, getting up.
In a sudden onset of self consciousness you looked in the window of the entrance door to make sure you looked okay; straightening out your already straight shirt; fixing your hair that looked exactly the same as it had done. When the nurse came back down the hallway and nodded you almost liquified. But it didn’t last long, because peeking out from the room, there he was. After a quick scan his eyes found you and he smiled shyly, but widely. If there is ever a good sort of punch to the stomach, this was that. Like sitting outside when the clouds suddenly give way to the sun to warm your face. There was no way you looked normal walking, not with the way your wobbly legs felt they were gonna give out any moment. But if he noticed anything he didn’t remark on it as he shuffled inside to let you in. He stretched his arms out a little, but brought them back to his side, chuckling. He was as nervous as you were.
“Hi…”
You didn’t say anything, laughed a bit, and went to hug him. His embrace was as before: you could feel he was strong; the contours of his chest against your cheek, his arms reaching round your shoulders - but he was also gentle. The sweet-sticky smell had vanished, and you could smell him, warm Kyungsoo.
"Can I kiss you..?", he whispered.
You nodded, your head still against his chest, eyes closed.
"You better…"
He blew out a giggle through his nose and cupped your face as you turned towards him. Warm Kyungsoo. So soft you registered the way his lips were pushed down as he pressed them against yours, the tickle of his upper lip over yours. His tongue tasted exactly like it should. Too soon did he break the kiss to hug you tight.
"Ugh, I'm so glad you came…", he sighed. "Do you wanna sit outside? I've got a balcony."
"Ocean view?"
"You bet", he said, and took your hand to guide you. "Do you want something to drink, eat?", he asked, filling up a glass of water.
"No, I'm fine. I had a late lunch."
The balcony was barely 4 square ft., with a pair of those white plastic chairs. Looking behind, beyond the banister, there wasn't much of anything; a few trees in a pretty rundown playground, and a seemingly abandoned warehouse. He put his glass on the edge and declared:
"There..! Ocean view", as he sat down.
"Not really what I expected…"
"I'm sorry to disappoint you", he smiled.
It was meant as a joke, but it shifted the energy profoundly. There was a tug in your gut. Kyungsoo frowned, suddenly looking tired, and ran his hand through his hair which fell on his forehead now that it was without styling. He leaned forward and took your hand.
"Hey, tell me what you're thinking."
“Nothing…”
He tilted his head, not letting you get away with that answer.
“I…” You shrugged your shoulders, looking anywhere but at him. “Everything..? I jump to the next question before even figuring out what the previous question was… I’m worried - scared.”
“Of me?”
“No, for you!” You emphasized by nearly crushing his hand. “Never of you, Kyung… I don’t know what to do.”
“You don’t have to do anything.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Fix me..?”, he chuckled despondently.
“I’m not that dumb, Kyung. It’s just…” You started gesturing widely, so he let go of your hand. “Like on tuesday. Lo’ knew exactly what to do and I just sat there without a fucking clue... I should’ve called him sooner - I should’ve known something was up..!”
“Hey, hey. You can’t think like that”, he said in an effort to calm you down. He put his hands on your knees and looked at you, his brows knitted, upset you’d even consider blaming yourself. It worked. You lowered your voice and finally looked at him.
“I just…wish I’d done something.”
“Listen to me. Don’t just nod your head, Y/N. Listen, okay?”
“Mm”, you said, nodding again as you felt a lump in your throat.
“Whatever you think you did, you didn’t. This is how I am.”
Fast, like ECT, the current went through your face - shutting your eyes tight didn't stop it.
"No, don't cry, babe. Please don't cry", he begged softly, putting his hands on your arms, your neck.
It'd only been the shock that made you start, not your overall feeling, so you managed to stop.
"Sorry", you laughed and dried your eyes, feeling a little silly. "I'm just a little…", you exhaled loudly, fanning your face.
"...little emotional?"
"Yeah...", you sniveled and laughed again. "Little bit."
He looked so sweet with his crooked smile and compassionate eyes, but also sleepy.
"Do you want to go to bed?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"Kinda."
"I'm sorry..!", he wailed. "I really want to be with you, I missed you like hell, but I'm-"
"Tired?"
"So fucking tired", he chuckled.
"Well, it's no use trying to talk if you're over here falling asleep anyway, is there. Come on", you said, getting up. "I'll come back soon anyway."
"You're leaving?"
You looked at him dumbfounded.
"Well, I… No, I can stay. I'll sit with you."
"Sit with me? No, sleep with me."
You looked at each other then burst out laughing.
"Going straight to the point, are we?"
Kyungsoo's rumbling laughter filled the room as he got into his bed.
"Aish… Come here."
"Am I allowed to?"
"What are they gonna do, I'm already in here, ain't I?"
Strange, giddy, nerves took hold when you unlaced your shoes and got into bed, but dissipated as soon as he put his arm around you and pulled you in close.
“Good night”, he said and kissed your neck.
“Night?”
“Oh. No…”, he said drowsily. “The other…”
You waited to hear his final answer, but instead felt him settle; his hold loosening, chest rising slowly.
“Good nap, Kyung.”
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memories of my first love
part 3 link to series: O
fluff to angst
(The first 3-4 chapters are slightly boring)
it’s a boring Saturday all you did today was watch tv and play video games, you are now watching your favorite anime till you heard a ding on your phone:
you and him had a sleepless night, his sisters finding him an outfit to wear to the “date” and you wondering what you should wear
morning:
You woke up early today to get dressed but you still don’t know what to wear, it isn’t even a date, you said to yourself, he just has an extra ticket…
Bokuto was waiting by the cafe and while you were coming he posted on Insta:
His palms were sweaty from overthinking maybe you didn’t like him that way…
you came at 10:15 seeing Bokuto out of his school uniform… wow he’s cute you thought to yourself… you blushed slightly and went towards him:
“hey bokuto” you said fidgeting with your purse “h-hey y/n” he said blushing at how cute you look “wow you l-look so cu-I mean nice” he said clearing his throat “thanks Bokuto, you look nice to” you said blushing harder than before…
both of you standed in silent till “OIII the movies about to start you two lovebirds can talk later” the girl with the same hair color as Bokuto said honking her car, you both went inside the car “hi it’s nice to meet you I’m the owl’s older sister Kaori you can call me ori” she said with a big grin that reminded you of him “it’s nice to meet you I’m y/n” you said, wow the Bokuto family is packin hot😏 “So are you two dating?” She said with a devilish grin “Sis we aren’t!” He said with tinted red cheeks “ooo okok I see” she said smirking again, Bokuto was cute whenever he got flustered you said to yourself…
You both are now at the movies Kaori drove back, Bokuto and you brought popcorn and some snacks, the movie was really funny but sad, you cried at the end and you could tell Bokuto was slightly tearing up to, now the movie ended and you both exited the theater
“That was so good but sad!” You said to Bokuto “I know I really liked Rengoku” he said with his hair slightly dropping down “I hope the Hashiras avenge him” you said furious “Yeah!” He said both of you laughing at each other , you both waited for Kaori to come but then she texted Bokuto and said that she “will come back by 5:00 and to enjoy yourselves😏”
“I’m sorry y/n” he said “oh no it’s ok” you said trying to make him not feel guilty “what about we go to that arcade” you said pointing at the arcade “yeah are you sure?” He said “yeah come on let’s go!” You said getting excited because you never went into a arcade before
You both played most of the games, you didn’t really know how to play them because of your parents being strict of “no video games” but you got the hang of it, you don’t know if Bokuto was letting you win which would be embarrassing but this is the most fun you ever had, “Bokuto you got the dino! it’s so cute!” you said eyes glistening over a cheap plushie he won from the claw machine “y-you can have it”he said blushing at how cute you look right now “are you sure??? You won that” you said feeling guilty “you can have it, you just gotta help me with English homework for now” he said with a smile “okkk” you said smiling back
You both decided after 2 hours of playing games you both would eat, while you were eating Bokuto posted this:
you both talked and finished eating, it was now 5:00 and Kaori drove you back home “thanks for taking me to the movies Bokuto san” you said smiling at him “We should hang out more y/n” he said smiling and waving at you “bye ori” you said waving goodbye “bye cya later sister in law!” She said driving away
you now slightly had a crush on the boy you didn’t like at the beginning, it felt wrong but your heart told you differently, you now went back home your parents concerned on why you were out for way to long, you took a shower, dressed up, and hugged the Dino stuffy he gave to you and rewinded the “date” you had with him, “Bokuto Koutarou I can’t wait to try new things with you” you said falling alseep.
#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu angst#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#bokuto headcannons#bokuto angst#bokuto x reader#bokuto koutarou
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S3A - E8
I’m realizing just how damn far behind I am on working on season 3, but I don’t wanna skip any episodes of the rewatch, so let’s get to it! Double time, double time!
Content warnings for discussion of cannibalism.
Forewarning, this one is a doozy, so be prepared to Read More:
Lesgo!:
First thing’s first, Derek has experience with those awful sound thingies? Can you imagine how freaked he must’ve been seeing Chris bring those out when they were tracking Boyd and Erica?
Also, Chris Argent has been hunting Derek one way or another since he was a child. Even BEFORE Kate. Why the hell do we have a Derek & Chris broness in the later seasons? This kind of shit doesn’t just go away. I can’t believe I forgot about it.
I love how awkward sweet bby Derek is trying to run through the trees and tripping on branches everywhere. It’s honestly so much more realistic for a teenager than just the crazy cgi stuff. Also, since we know Derek is comfortable in the woods, it really gives you a hint as to how truly messed up he is from fear right now. He’s off balance in a dozen ways.
DEREK HAS BEEN WATCHING PEOPLE DIE IN FRONT OF HIM SINCE HE WAS 15. I’m gonna CRY. If I wanna hurt myself even More, you could argue that the Random Beta (RB) got shot bc he stopped to talk to Derek. So...guilty minds would assume Derek has been watching people die because of him since 15. I hate everything.
PETER comin’ in clutch. Also, hilarious that they use that arrow catching move so much.
I almost like how they tried to make Gerard look younger by just having him wear a douchey leather jacket instead of the serious grandpa one he wears in S2. He swaggers over to the body of RB, and it’s hilarious.
Okay, what is this bullshit about “Bring them back alive, we go by the code?” If you were going by the code then you wouldn’t be fucking hunting them AT ALL. They’re innocent! Why the fuck are you ‘bringing them back’ in the first place? Chris, you piece of shit. This is supposed to demonstrate that you’ve always been a stickler for the code, but all it does is emphasize how little that code actually means. “We hunt those who hunt us.” Fuck off, you hunt anything you deem ‘dangerous’ and find excuses to kill them so you can feel righteous.
Gonna casually note that RB was shot in the Throat with an arrow, but bc of makeup necessities they moved the arrow down to his chest when he’s shown on the ground. It’s funny. :)
It’s seriously so hard to hate Peter, do the writers realize that? Like, yes, he did horrible shit and I’m not denying that, but when you show him running into the hunter-filled woods to save his nephew’s life at 24 years old, then hiding with him in a cellar for two fucking days when he could probably have escaped on his own, it’s hard to see him as a heartless bastard.
I’m almost afraid to find out why Cora knows the details. Can you imagine? She would’ve been, what, 9-10? Her big brother and uncle both go missing for two days after a hunt and she had to stay at home waiting for someone to say they’d found their bodies. God, the lives of the Hales are so fucked up.
The rain is really making the mood here.
I gotta say, I’m confused about this initial Cora-Stiles interaction. He goes on about everyone who’s died or nearly died, but then Cora assumes he wants Derek to do something about the deaths, and Stiles agrees? Except that Derek currently fits the COD that all the other sacrifices have hit. Missing for about two days. Everything Stiles has said implies that he’s worried Derek is also dead. I don’t get why they go with ‘I’m worried about the missing man that I’ve been helping for the last four months because I blame him for the Alphas even coming to town”?
One thing they got on point here is just how disgusting they made Gerard. The slime and the spitting and ugh *shudders* it’s just so gross.
I’m also...I think intrigued is the right word--that they shoved this whole story into the episode without ever addressing the fact that Derek IS missing and they should go looking for him or something. It starts with Stiles asking where the hell he is, but then everything else is about this past moment. Talk about going off on a tangent. I mean, I don’t blame them, but if I shoved this much character background into one chapter people would call me out for the infodump that it is.
Which is all this episode is. Info-dumped exposition. Here’s how werewolves were made. Here’s why Derek’s cranky. Here’s why Duke’s an asshole. Here’s why the Hales are ‘special’
Again, I don’t blame them. It’s just...a lot.
Just a tiny thing: Why do they both roll up their sleeves when Scott only has to touch Gerard’s hand?
It is also very hard to believe that either Allison or Scott are remotely good people when they’re both lying to everyone about Gerard’s existence.
*finger guns, bc now i have to use the tag* I think this is the longest I’ve ever gotten before using it.
Another thing: Why does Gerard make the gross noises like he’s in pain, when we know it doesn’t hurt to get the pain taken away from him? It certainly didn’t hurt that lady in the ER.
I know this is a weird thing to notice, but I find it interesting that Paige is wearing actual makeup. Not just the ‘natural’ look, but eyeshadow that’s visibly dark. *shrug*
Is she Actually playing the cello? The notes Don’t look like they match up with her bowing and fingerings.
HA that music cut in is fucking Hilarious. Derek turns around like he’s in a teen rom-com, with that casual “I never stop smiling all the way bc I’m the coolest guy around” grin and the music just WHAM. That’s right, Derek Hale used to be a JOCK. He didn’t used to be ‘a lot like Scott.’ He was a lot like JACKSON.
So, this group of cronies Derek has. What is that about? He’s gotta have that posse just like Jackson did in S1? Unnamed people to cackle at his jokes.
Paige’s face, right there? That is the SHIT for me. That’s not hidden attraction, that’s genuinely “What the fuck is my life, why are you so lame?” and I am LIVING for it.
Derek peacocking is also hilarious. Peacocking so hard he (THE WEREWOLF) didn’t notice that she’d left the hall, is even more so.
I hate to tell you this Paige, but THAT is where I could tell you liked him. Giving in to his bullshit offer was the first step, that look on your face when he said, “Hold on” was Blatant “Holy shit, my crush wants to talk to me” but then all you idiots did was make eye contact. Paige, if you’re trying to get the ball, try looking away from those pretty eyes, okay?
Derek, you always go too far. You can see Paige lose interest when she realizes that he’s not actually into Her, he’s into showing off.
OOOF, i guess they weren’t such good friends after all, cus’ they left when Paige did.
I also feel the need to point out Derek is WEARING A CHECKERED SHIRT. *inarticulate screaming* Everyone who makes jokes about him thinking plaid is disgusting owes me five bucks bc he CLEARLY didn’t think checkers/plaid were that bad when he was in high school.
I’ll admit...the instant sorry is like...really good. If they’d had him come in and be More of a dick and then end up together, I’d be a lot more bugged. But his First real introduction to her is an apology.
THEN he goes back to being a dick. But at least this time it’s not about him, he wants to know about Her.
And I LOVE the turnaround! THIS is flirting. THIS is cute teasing. She plays his game Back at him, shows her own skill and forces him to get on her level. Then he weasels out of it, but in a Cute Way.
If there’s one thing that I’m routinely impressed by in TW it’s the scoring. They’re Really good with music to fit the moods and the vibes of the whole episode. For instance, all the transition music in this episode is Cello, bc it’s about Paige.
I hate agreeing with Gerard on Anything, but he makes a good point about the Dark Druid taking and killing someone else right alongside Deaton. Why would she take 4 people when she only needed three? She wouldn’t know that Deaton got a message out or that Scott would save Deaton. Plus the addition of the mountain ash circle is kind of weird, don’t you think?
Yah, I have no clue why your body is producing anything Either. You literally make no sense and you shouldn’t be alive. Period. Bringing you back was a lazy way to have someone who could be a sub-sub plot and hand out exposition and red herrings that are totally useless.
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT GERARD? You weren’t There when Deucalion found out he could still see with his Alpha Eyes (Which makes no sense btw, he doesn’t have TWO sets of eyes???) and if you’d interacted with Deuc since then he’d have ripped you to shreds.
SERIOUSLY people, why the FUCK are we getting this information from Gerard when it makes WAY more sense for Deaton to tell them this? He was THERE for the whole thing!
I get that the point of the episode is supposed to be “Unreliable Narrators” (The whole show has an unreliable narrator.) but you had that covered with Peter’s story. You could’ve Instilled TRUST in Deaton by making a contrast and having Deaton TELL THEM THE TRUTH. Show the difference between reliable and unreliable. Gerard doesn’t need to be here!
Stiles, asking the real questions.
AND GETTING THE MOST BULLSHIT ANSWER IN THE UNIVERSE.
Could these writers GET any lazier? Put some fucking effort in and give us some information about Werewolves IN YOUR WEREWOLF TV SHOW.
What the fuck were Paige and Derek into that they knew where an abandoned distillery was when it wasn’t even in TOWN? And you’re telling me they left town every time they wanted to make out? Even worse, are you implying they had SEX in that distillery? And then trying to tell me that none of the fucking Alphas and their packs noticed the smell of Derek and his girlfriend all over the building?
...what...do people seriously not remember being teenagers? What the fuck Peter? In what fucking universe is “one minute it’s ‘i hate you, don’t talk to me’ the next it’s frantic groping in any dark corner’ remotely accurate to real life?
Teenagers in the majority don’t DO that. I really fucking hate that all teenagers are made out to be like this. Like they’re “run by their hormones” and “everything is sex to you” STOP. Seriously, STOP. Saying shit like that completely negates the fact that Teenagers are Real fucking People. They’re not just buckets of hormones and sweat that need to be shaped into an adult. They’re fucking PEOPLE and reducing them to sex-crazed idiots is lazy and stupid.
Are you ALSO telling me that the hunters dragged RB’s DEad Body to an abandoned building, then strung the corpse up and cut it in half? AND that someone happened to go the abandoned building and found the body and called the cops, or that they MOVEd the two halves somewhere they would be found, Or that They were the ones to call and report the body?
Has teen wolf got even a Single brain cell?
ALSO, what the fuck is this timeline? Derek and Peter went missing for two days after RB was killed, but the packs don’t get together to discuss RB’s death until After Derek has run out of the building with Paige because he could smell blood from RB being hemisected. So, they waited at Least two days before talking to each other about RB’s death? And Derek apparently recovered Instantaneously from his two day nightmare and went right back to macking on his girlfriend and laughing freely the Day he was found? Or did they wait even longer? I’m so fucking confused!
Okay, you tell me that this place is their favorite makeout/groping spot, but they seriously just walk in the door and start kissing in the middle of the room? You guys didn’t bring some blankets and pillows here? You’re gonna stand there the whole time?
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING PETER A PERVERT? He was fucking watching his nephew make out with his girlfriend through the wall??? WHat is WRONG with you?
ALSO, Cora was alive and active in Derek’s life at that point. She wasn’t That young. She could easily point out that Peter being Derek’s best friend is total bullshit if it weren’t actually true. Which means Peter is telling the TRUTH here. Hell, she doesn’t call out his heartbeat for lies the entire time, and while they imply at the end of the episode that Really Good Liars can just force their heart to be steady while lying so they don’t get caught, that isn’t a thing for the entire rest of the show. Derek trusts KATE when she says she’s not lying. So the evidence actually points toward Peter telling the TRUTH in this entire episode.
THAT is accurate to teenagers. Using the word “like” and “liking” so many times in a conversation that it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore.
Paige...dude, I’m so torn. Like I’m glad you’re being honest with Derek about your worries, but also it’s a complete dick move to just Assume that he’s gonna bail? To say to his face that you Know he’s leaving you and you’re just waiting for it? Fucking rude.
Ennis...bro...how exactly did your Beta “Accidentally” kill a hunter? How would that happen?
AGAIN WITH THE TIMELINE. If the packs only CAME to beacon hills because of Ennis issue with the hunters, why was RB running through beacon hills when he was killed?
Also, side note: Where are all of these werewolves staying? Are they territorial so they like, all claimed different hotels to take over? Or do they not mind, and THAT’S why the Hale house is so big for such a small family? Because they had a ton of guest rooms for packs that visited to get that sweet, sweet Hale Wisdom?
I firmly believe that werewolves are clothing-optional people. Talia straight shifts into a naked human form in front of over a dozen other wolves.
Also, where the hell is the Hale pack here? Some random chick comes up and gives Talia a robe, but that person is standing with Deuc’s pack. So....what?
I’m so curious about the formation the wolves make when they hear Talia coming. Everybody backs away, except Deucalion. And they do this weird focus on his face as he watches her come in. And her eye contact is JUST with him.
OH GROSS. DID DEUC HAVE A THING FOR DEREK’S MOM????
I will admit that watching things with subtitles sometimes ruins the surprise. There’s that little pause before “I’m just a deputy” like it was supposed to be shocking to the audience, but the subtitle on Amazon Prime just Pops up right away and it kind of ruins the effect.
Here we go! The one piece of concrete information on “Packs” and “pack members” that we’re given in the whole fucking show. Word for Word. “Losing a member of your pack isn’t like losing family, it’s like you lose a limb.”
That is....severe. Now imagine that your entire family IS your pack. And losing almost every one of them. Is it any wonder that Cora, Peter, and Derek are so messed up? That they’re so dark and wounded looking?
I s2g sometimes Peter literally just sounds like he’s a self-insert for the writers. He explains shit that the writer’s are showing Really Badly as if to wave away the fact that the Ennis flashback is pretty much Completely unnecessary. “You just don’t understand my artistic genius, it’s never just a single moment, it’s a confluence of events. I have to show you all these random flashbacks because you need to understand why Derek is soaked in MANPAIN all the time. Which is totally relevant to the current plot bc....bc....bc ART (and also Tyler Hoechlin was busy so we could only get one shot of him for the entire episode)”
That is just the cutest shit oh my god. Derek listens to Paige’s music while he’s in class and doing homework. THAT is love, you realize? He doesn’t just deal with her dedication to her music, he loves it.
THat little wince when he says “Are you sure about that?” Paige knows he’s gonna screw with her.
THAT IS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. He gives her space! She likes studying during lunch so he Leaves her Alone. I LIKE IT.
What do you mean “Laura told you about the packs being here.” Derek KNOWS they’re here because he watched RB DIE IN THE WOODS. Seriously, I”M SO CONFUSED.
FUN FACT (that I might’ve already shared) Oak wood was liked by the Celts because it was really sturdy and hardy and bore food, but it wasn’t their favorite type of wood! Rowan was the favorite, and Irish pagan practitioners used to sleep in rowan trees so they could have prophetic dreams. After that, it was Hazelwood. :P
I...do not enjoy when they bring up the Celtic Druids. *Scuttles to get my textbook bc this is my nerd shit*
“We’re in a Nemeton” This is the correct wording, actually! A “Nemeton” isn’t a thing, it’s a “sacred meeting place” as Chris calls it. Go chris! Nemeton refers to the entire grove/area around the main tree.
I can’t speak to whether they chose a ‘Large, older tree in a grove” but it does make sense bc if we’re talking about Oaks they were a symbol of food and safety (acorns were a staple to Celtic diets) so choosing an older tree would not only look more impressive, but it would probably bear more acorns for the clan.
“It would represent the center of the world” *Puts on vine voice* THat is NOt Correct! The tree at the center of the Nemeton was called a “crann bethadh” or “Tree of Life” and it was essentially a Totem that marked the center of the tribe’s territory. It was not ‘the center of the world’ it was the center of THEIR world. Their land.
“There was a belief that cutting or harming the tree would cause serious problems for the surrounding villages” Not sure if ‘villages’ is the correct term for the era, but the rest of it sounds like a close mistranslation. See, in Ireland there were raids people would do against other clans where the SOLE PURPOSE was to destroy their crann bethadh, because it was demoralizing. It’s like graffiti-ing the front of a church. But technically, it WAS severely frowned upon to harm the tree in any way.
This is mostly because in most Celtic areas, Oak trees were considered symbols of the “Father of the Sky” or the “God of Thunder.” Of course you don’t wanna piss off Thunder man.
Also, you notice how I’m saying CELTS and not DRUIDS. It’s because DRUID isn’t a cultural label, it’s a SOCIAL CLASS. It’s like saying “The Educated”
Okay, back to the--OH WAIT. Before anyone gets any ideas, the blood on the crann bethadh isn’t human. Estonian Celts smeared animal blood on the tree roots as an assurance for rain and good harvests. This is the same concept as TONS of other religions, including Christianity. (Abraham was supposed to sacrifice his son, Isaac, to God, but God stopped him and had him sacrifice a Ram instead. So, Yes. Christians used to perform animal sacrifices.)
NOW back to the show.
THe fact that gerard doesn’t know this stuff implies that Chris is the nerd of the family.
I LIKE THIS. I hate that I like it bc it’s Gerard, but I LIKE IT. Gerard gets up from his wheelchair. He doesn’t need it All the Time.
I’ve never seen another show that bothered to have a wheelchair user who wasn’t wheelchair-bound, which is stupid because it’s Very Common for people using wheelchairs to not need them all the time.
though it does beg the question of why he’s sitting in a wheelchair when he’s in his own bedroom? Was he going somewhere? Or did he know he wouldn’t have enough chairs and didn’t want Allison or Scott to sit in his chair?
The story of Lycaon, who was considered a savage ruler of Arcadia and Zeus went to his house disguised as a human (this is v common in myth) to find out if he was batshit. Lycaon and his FIFTY SONS (he also had one daughter) wanted to know if the stranger was a human or a mortal, so they fed him human flesh in stew. Zeus flipped shit and blasted the room with thunderbolts, murdering all but one of Lycaon’s sons, and then turned Lycaon into a wolf.
So...this whole ‘myth of lycaon’ is totally fucked up when it didn’t need to be? Like, they didn’t NEED to change it to make it a messed up origin story of wolves. It already was.
There’s three major versions to choose from
Lycaon was a pius man who founded the city of Lycosura on Mount Lycaeus and used a child as a sacrifice to Zeus, thinking it would please him. Zeus flips shit and turns Lycaon into a wolf. FROM THEN ON; at every sacrifice made to zeus a man was transformed into a wolf and if he managed to restrain himself from eating human flesh for 8-9 years, he would be turned human again.
The same story as the first, except Lycaon Knew Zeus was in disguise and the child he fed him was Zeus’ own son, and it was revenge for seducing his only daughter Callisto.
If you want to make it match what you’ve already said about wolves in the show, they could’ve used the last one and it would’ve demonstrated how Ingrained the concept of vendetta/revenge is for wolves.
If you wanted to focus on the Turning Human part and working with Celtic Druids to learn to become werewolves, you could’ve used the second one.
there was no reason to add in the bullshit about Prometheus except as an excuse to make Deucalion look like he picked his name to be an asshole, which he fucking didn’t.
I’m so sorry about all the classical shit (i’m really not) but I studied it in college and I can’t just let this bullshit stand.
I’ll give them a pass on the ‘the lesser known part’ bc it’s technically plausible for the wolves to have run north to the Celts and beg for help, And the Druids (those who’s education was specifically in magic, not all of them) were known for shapeshifting (though not usually into animals. They did that to Other people, not themselves)
I cannot believe this is so long, i’m so sorry.
But WHY tho, Cora? How is an Emissary supposed to keep you connected to humanity if No ONe KNows Who They Are?? How are they supposed to do their job??
Yeah, well now Deaton is a sour bitch who has a chip on his shoulder against the Hale pack so like...fuck his advice.
I will say though! Pre-fire Deaton doesn’t give me the heebies like post-fire Deaton. He’s much more clear about the advice he’s giving, and it’s actually helpful! He still has a dumb little anecdote/parable about the scorpion and the frog (which...in most circumstances I hate. It doesn’t even match what happens) but he gives Real Advice instead of vague asshole nonsense.
“I’m an Alpha, I never walk alone.” I have an inordinate affection for this line.
Paige is clearly some kinda bad bitch if she thought nothing of going to hang out in the school in the middle of the night with Derek.
Okay, but like...why would he attack Ennis like that if he was the one who asked him to bite Paige? And why is the moment played up “A fifteen-year-old boy against a giant” Derek was literally swatted to the side while Ennis walked out of the building. this wasn’t some big showdown.
If she’d already been bitten, why was Ennis still grabbing at her??
....seriously? Peter is literally right there? And no one noticed?
Again with the “Scott is a genius now” LIsten, bro, why the fuck would Scott know a sanskrit fable? If he Did know a story like that, it would be bc Deaton taught him. In which case he would know the FROG and the scorpion. Come on, guys.
OH MY GOD GERARD DOES IT TOO. GERARD, PETER, AND DEUC all have a CHRONIC case of verbal diarrhea when they’re trying to be intimidating.
I do NOT understand this warehouse scene. It’s a GAS gerard, if you stabbed yourself with some sort of...antidote or whatever it wouldn’t save you from the GAS you’re inhaling. At the very least you would be shouting like everyone else because it HURTS going in.
why did it take so long for Talia to come? It’s implied that Peter left to get her, so why did it take so long? Even PAST peter looks fucked up at seeing that Paige is dying, it’s not like he would wait.
I’ll be real, i get weepy so i’m skipping the actual death. Just know that it hurts me. Severely.
Y’all know how much I hate this ‘innocent life’ bullshit for blue eyes. It’s very True Alpha-y in that it’s impossible to pin down the specifics. What constitutes an ‘innocent life’? What constitutes taking it? With wolf claws? With a gun? What counts and what doesn’t count? Ugh.
Eyyy, so I’m exhausted and this is so long that my computer is fritzing. There are five minutes left and nothing happens in them at all. Just Scott pointing out the heartbeat thing and threatening to kill Gerard (so he’s still fine with murder at this point in time. Good to know). Stiles telling Cora that he doesn’t think Peter was telling the truth (which she would Know if he wasn’t) and that he’s gonna ask Derek about it (which we never got to see). And Deucalion murdering his own Beta (who, tbf, tried to kill him first. Which, again, what the fuck is up with Deaton’s office that wolves are able to rip each other apart in it, but it’s still ‘hard for someone like Scott to cause me any trouble.’ I’m just so confused
Final Thoughts: This episode actually had some interesting stuff in it, which is kind of sad considering there was no PLOT, just Exposition. I look forward to tweezing the bits out that I want and dumping the rest in the garbage where it belongs. Oh, and like I said, the music was on Point.
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A (very long) list of all of my favorite AJJ lyrics because why not
Candy Cigarettes and Cap Guns (2005)
“Well my great grand-dad he died of cancer, from smoking too many cigarettes. But I must confess that he did quite profess to being the coolest motherfucker I ever met.”
“And cocaine is essentially vegan and they don't give a fuck anyway.”
“And I can't help but miss him even though he hit me everyday.”
“So fuck white people! (fuck white people!)”
“Heaven is a special place in hell where you can watch the people you hate get hurt.”
“You find me quite charming and I find it quite alarming ‘cause I'm gonna take your life. You find me quite charming and I find it quite alarming and I'm sad you won't be my wife.”
“What makes you think you can be so pretty? And what makes you think you can be so great? And what makes you think you can be so intelligent? And what makes you think you can be so far away?”
“What makes you think you can be so wonderful? And what makes you think you can be so keen? And what makes me think I can be so hurtful? And what makes me think I can be so mean?”
“Sometimes I feel like a cigarette, I'm wrapped in paper and I'm suffocating to death.”
“I don't want to be a cigarette anymore. I'll go to hell in my self death all day and night, so please just put me out.”
People Who Can Eat People Are The Luckiest People In The World (2007)
“Rejoice despite the fact this world will hurt you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will kill you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will tear you to shreds. Rejoice because you’re trying your best”
“I'm afraid to leave the house. I'm as timid as a mouse. I'm afraid if I go out I'll outwear my welcome. I'm not a courageous man. I don't have any big lasting plans. I'm too cowardly to take a stand, I want to keep my nose clean. And it's sad to know that we're not alone in this and it's sad to know that there's no honest way out. In this life we lead, we could conquer everything if we could just get the brave to get out of bed in the morning.”
“And I give a thank-you to my father for not raising me, and I give a finger to my step-father for beating me, and I give props to myself for achieving, and god damn I’m glad that I survived, and god damn I’m surprised that I survived.”
“So I looked into your eyes and I saw the reflection of a coward you and I both hate very much and then I grabbed the knife and I let the blood out of your throat and I smashed those tiny mirrors inside of your skull.”
“If I don’t go to hell when I die I might go to heaven, might go to heaven. But probably not.”
“Just happy times and half assed rhymes and mimes because mimes are dears, but most of all I want no more tears.”
“No more racism. No more discrimination. No more fat dumb fucks keeping people out of our nation.”
“We’re all one big band across this land and we should sing in tune. Let us grow the balls to break the walls, we’ve got to do it soon.”
“And I hope our candles flicker and die so that our hearts don’t burn to the ground.”
“First we were babies, we're birthing and dying. Then we were children, we're playing and crying. And then we're teenagers and smoking and fucking. But now we're all grown up and we're sadly sighing.”
“And your manic depression, it comes and it goes. Your parasympathetic nervous system reacts and you're in fight or flight mode.”
“How's the world so small when the world is so large? And what made the world? Could I please speak to who's in charge? Everything is real but it's also just as fake. From your daughter's birthday party to your grandmother's wake.”
“I've tried to know which words to sing so many times. I tried to know which chord to play and I tried to make it rhyme. And I tried to find the key that all good songs are in. And I tried to find that notes to make that great, resounding din.”
“There's someone in your head waiting to fucking strangle you.”
“I've got essays, I've got finals due. I have got lots and lots of problems.”
“Welcome to this world, have as much fun as you would like while helping others have as much fun as you're having. Be kind to those you love and be kind to those you don't but for God's sake you gotta be kind.”
Can’t Maintain (2009)
“I wanna pick up the pieces and plant them in the ground. When a tree grows there I want to chop that tree down. Build it into a boat and float it in a lake. And with dynamite I will explode the thing that makes me make mistakes.”
“Sometimes I get so lonesome I can't breathe. Sometimes I get so scared that I can't speak. Sometimes I get so worried I can't hear my heartbeat. Anyway…”
“I wanna tear out my heart and give it away to a person more deserving one day. If all I see is the worst in everything that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get.”
“And people freak me out. People make me scared. People make me so damn self-aware.”
“I get bronchitis twice a year at least. My lungs aren't the way they should be. And I smoke more than a mother fuckin chimney. I declare war on my body.”
“You will cough up crows that peck my eyes and I will do nothing but go blind.”
“We could live there together or I'll live alone, less happy but I'll live... unfortunately.”
“And no one will know how I truly feel ‘cause I can no longer differentiate between what is fake and what is real. I don't know how I feel.”
“And I will always appreciate bad days like this because they grant me a point of reference in regards to my happiness.”
“If the bridge that I was driving over collapsed while I was driving over it that may not be such a bad thing. I would finally meet my maker, I could meet the great creator, and I'd punch him for teaching me how to sing.”
“Don't know if I believe in god but sometimes I pray because the way I was raised keeps me afraid.”
“I hope I can forgive me for having the nerve to exist. I hope someone can help me make some sense of this.”
“Sense and sensibility and peaceful productivity, a pretty girl with broken wings is all that I desire. But there's so much hostility in all the things surrounding me. The awful glow of enmity is trying to stop my shine. So I try to look inwardly at all the things inside of me but sodomy and buggery keep bubbling to the top.”
“I met you once over the phone, you sounded sad and you seemed alone. You left me but I never left you. I never had the chance to.”
“If you spend all your heart on something that has died you are not alive and that can't be your life.”
Knife Man (2011)
“There's no one to blame. People are just fucking mean.”
“So if I see a penny on the ground, I leave it alone or fucking flip it. I'm a straight white male in America. I've got all the luck I need.”
“I've got a pile of broken mirrors and I'm walking under ladders and I'll spill a ton of salt because to me that doesn't matter.”
“You were dead by the time that I had found you. Your blood was spilled on the couch where we had first kissed. So I carried you west to the sea so I could wash you. Your body felt just like a back pack.”
“I hate whiny, fucking songs like this but I can't afford a therapist. Sorry guys, here's a solo.”
“Some days I feel like I'm the weakest and others the strongest. These days are the longest and I've got the weirdest feeling about this and I wanna go away for a while.”
“I wish I had a bullet big enough to fucking kill the sun. I'm sick of songs about the summer.”
“When you have no one, you are no one. Like I said, I used to work at the people pound. All these no ones clumped together, just like a human lost and found. If they left them all be someones there wouldn't be enough to go around. It's better for us all us if there are no ones. And I knew a lot of no ones round that time. They used to all be someones until something took their life and all their someones disappeared while they're stuck there waiting in a line. And for them now, no one seems to have the time.”
“They say ambition is an enemy of weakness and greatness is an enemy of fame.When I pick up my guitar and I try to write a song, I think of what my mentor used to say… “Who fucking gives a rat's ass Steve, just write a love song. Cus they'll keep your belly full and your wallet lined. Don't bother these nice people with your sad sack songs. If you ask me I think they're just a waste of time.””
“Inspiration is the best friend of my sorrow and sorrow is the best friend of my drink. Well I want to look myself in the eye tomorrow but I'm too worried of what other folk's will think.”
“And the troubles in my heart need to get let out. And the troubles in my heart need to escape. And I never liked writing poetry and I never liked doing pottery and God knows that I never learned to paint. So every now and then, I'll sing sad songs. Cus it keeps my spirit light and my conscience clean. And if you don't care to hear I don't mind if you go out for some air. Cus I'm happy that you're happier than me.”
“So I wish I had a cigarette for every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette but I wonder what a cigarette will really do to help that person out. I wish to God I had some spare change for every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change but there's not enough spare change in the world to make such an empty gesture count.”
“You can hope it gets better and you can follow your dreams but hope is for presidents and dreams are for people who are sleeping.”
“You don't have it any better and you don't have it any worse. You're an irreplaceable human soul with your own understanding of what it means to suffer and that’s a huge bummer.”
“I'm afraid of the way I live my life. I'm afraid of the way I don't. I'm afraid of the things that I want to do but I won't. I'm afraid of God. I'm afraid to believe and I'm afraid of all the loved ones that I've made leave. I'm afraid that my dog doesn't love me anymore. I'm afraid of the social laziness that let Kitty Genovese die. And I'm afraid of the mob mentality that makes otherwise normal people go blind. I'm afraid of the way that the world works and I'm afraid of the words in my notebooks. I'm afraid that you all know that I am a pervert.”
“It's harder to be yourself than it is to be anybody else. I wish I were a little less of a coward but the big red bird that lives under the city doesn't give a damn about me and it dies every night. So I bought a knife. I am a knife.”
Rompilation (2012)
“I used to be a spiderman, I used to be a cowboy from hell, but not anymore. Now I'm just a clam and I live inside this shell inside this shell I am. God damn I hate my brain.”
“I'll dip my brain in medicine so that you can stand to be with me.”
“Give me your tired, give me your tired, give me your poor. When our government acts like this, I wonder what World War II was for and the rest of the country hates us more and more. Lady Liberty is not a whore.”
“This is not a protest, it's a tortoise slowly pushing through a race. I hope the tortoise keeps its patience while the hare continues to pepper-spray its face.”
“There is no enemy, there's only people that also love their families and they're scared that they won't have enough long after they are deceased. But how much money do they need? Love turns into fear, and fear turns into greed. There is no enemy, there's only dummies that also love their families.”
“And this is not a phase, it's just a matter of time, with diligence and peacefulness, you will reach them and you will change their minds. If you stay there long enough, they'll start to see you.”
“And when you pushed my face in shit how could that have made you feel like a man or like a monster. It's your fault that I can't tell the difference.”
“In the evening I try songwriting. I'm self loathing, but I love singing. I'll try escaping these evil feelings but they keep coming, they keep coming…”
“So the baby's gonna have a daddy, that's wonderful news. He won't be the greatest parent but neither will you! Gotta get out while you can, otherwise you're screwed. Your legs are broken and your eyes are black and blue.”
“And smoking is like hiring a hitman for five dollars a day, and as cool as that is, I don't wanna keep dying this way.”
Christmas Island (2014)
“Shoot him again ‘cause I can see his soul dancing.”
“If you give it to me I’ll give it back much harder. If you treat me like a son, then I’ll treat you like a daughter. Everyone has a future, everyone has a soul, everyone has a heart, they have a mind, they have control.”
“The Coffin Dancer dances like he has something the prove because he does. He sleeps a couple hours in the morning, hates the morning when he wakes up.”
“The Coffin Dancer dances like he wants to make a friend, but he does not.”
“Getting naked and playing with guns. There's a gerbil in the microwave, a baseball bat in everyone. Sharing kisses and building a bomb. We'll set it off like Microsoft in '94.”
“McDonald's PlayPlace before the Xbox, cake frosting, sweet talking, bedroom wall, covered in knives, touching God, burning shit. We'll make a wish and take a trip to Future Town like our daddy did.”
“Have you ever wanted to be, have you ever wanted to see someone better in the mirror? Have you ever wanted to go, have you ever wanted to know somewhere greener, somewhere cleaner. I bet you got something beautiful in mind.”
“I can’t handle astounding works of beauty. I think I like my pretty pretty ugly but the beautiful soul I witnessed in that movie was an entirely different kind of overwhelming. It was a dog that won’t stop barking. Like a cut that never stops bleeding. Arizona sunsets in the early evening. Or a grown man inconsolably weeping.”
“I am the Kool-Aid stains on the mouth of a kid whose name is most likely Cody. He had a juice box for breakfast and he carries a stick that he most likely found in the alley. Cody doesn't have friends and his parents hate each other and he wants to find a better way to love his family and after school he hangs out in the abandoned house behind the Arby's.”
The Bible 2 (2016)
“Oh, I love you cause I love you cause I can.”
“On your last night at Saint Mary's you were way too intoxicated to breathe. So I used your ribs as ladders and I climbed up on your chest and I jumped up and down just like a trampoline.”
“Confused and rude. Such a special kind of way to be cruel.”
“If I were one of the things, I'd be american garbage. The most beautiful thing. The most beautiful american garbage you have ever seen.”
“No more shame, no more fear, no more dread.”
“And if you don't want to feel the feeling, no one should ever make you feel the feeling.”
“I thought I saw you before I knew who you were.”
“I just wanted to rage but all I got was tired”
“I showed him all the books that I was raised on. Your Madeleine L'Engle(s) and D'Aulaires' Mythologies.”
“And his eyes became a beacon, an LCD projector, broadcasting all my memories in a clear and vivid picture. His tongue became a staircase, his uvula - The knocker of an ornate wooden door that lead me straight into my future. His throat became a hallway with a thousand baby pictures and I became forgiveness, I transformed into the closure that I lost when I learned about the tragedy of all of us. I lost it when I learned about the tragedy of all of us.”
Good Luck Everybody (2019)
“If you don't give it to them they'll starve to death and that's alright.”
“I've got the normalization blues, this isn't normal, this isn't good.”
“I'm detached and I'm distracted, all keyed up but unproductive, vacillating between being all excited and disgusted and then dozing lackadaisically in this bubble where I've made my mental home. Connection's more important now than it ever was, but I'd rather be alone.”
“And when we talk about the president, we're either pissed off or we're giggling about an atrocity he's committing or some stupid shit he's tweeting. He's a symptom and a weapon of the evil men who really run the show. The ones who melt down human beings into money like a cruel Sorcerer's Stone.”
“This is the golden age of dickotry, probably the last golden age of anything, and the ugliest word in the English language is anthropocene. Good luck, everybody. Good luck.”
“But before that, you'll be a doormat, for every vicious narcissist in the world. Oh how they'll screw you, all up and over, then feed you silence for dessert.”
“I'm sorry that you have to have a body, filled with infection, one hundred scabs singing in unison, eyes and hands, sometimes bullets, uninvited, passing through us.”
“Oh to be awake for such a shitty dream. A bullet in the head of every decent thing.”
“The lake of dead black children that America created is getting fuller than the founding Fathers even wanted. The ghost of great America was underestimated and now it rages like a cold sore on the lip of this dumb nation. Again we've slipped inside a pit of absolute despair. That's where we live.”
“Rewarding our worst cruelty, they destroyed our shared reality, and now they upsell us our dignity like some fucked VIP package.”
“There is no absolute, these days there's no such thing as truth and you don't need to be a dick about it.”
“I'm a burnout and a fool, oblivious to all I do. I move my lips when I read and breathe with my mouth open, wide open. Timid, meek, and cruel, this is the best that I can do. I need to speak my truth, yet here I'm broken wide, wide open. My resentment, big and strong, and all the things that I can't change. They'll buckle me beneath the weight. I will drive myself insane with all the things that I can't change. I hate all the things that I can't change.”
“You're a loudmouth and a tool, and as it turns out I am too, and you don't need to be a dick about it.”
“Because I know that you know what I need more than me and I know that you need me more than that.”
“For all the pussies you grab and the children you lock up in prison, for all the rights you roll back and your constant stream of racism, for all the poison you drip in my ear, for all your ugly American fear. I wrote you this beautiful song called Psychic Warfare.”
“I hate you with all of my heart. I hate you with all of my art.”
“I went back to the desert, little Midwest in me, and now I am colder than I used to be. I live in a fortress the shape of my body, and now there's a coldness, and it's shaped like me. Now I don't suffer any more bullshit gladly. Even though everything's bullshit now, here in 2019 and you can bet it's gonna be a bunch of bullshit too out in sweet 2020 or whenever this album's released.”
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