#I’m sorry I cannot think of a single conversation or interaction these to have had that would ever make me think Tony takes precedence | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spectaclespencer · 4 years ago

Text

P.H. // Part 3; Need To Know

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

A/N; Chapter 3!! Yay! I will not lie I got kind of lazy and burnt out when I finally got to the smut scene, and for that I am sorry. I’ll make it up to you guys with a future chapter.

Summary; Reader can’t get her mind off of Spencer, which causes distractions at work. Until one day when he catches on.

Category; Smut (Minors DNI!!!)

Content Warnings; Swearing, Kissing, Mentions of masturbation, Unprotected sex, Fingering, Oral (Male receiving), Drinking, Mentions of being shot, Kinda Sub!Spencer, Virgin!Spencer (but not by the end of it)

Word Count; 7.2k

Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Previous | Next

‘Wanna know what it's like (like)

Baby, show me what it's like (like)

I don't really got no type (type)

I just wanna fuck all night’

Spencer Reid. The object of my attraction, the man I fell harder for with every stolen glance I could manage to throw his way. I was obsessed, and that infatuation only grew stronger every day that I saw him at work.

When we went out to bars after cases we ended up in an inevitable game of Never Have I Ever like a bunch of high school kids. With Emily and Derek in the group it almost always turned sexual. It started with innocent things such as; Never have I ever kicked down a door -- to which Derek drinks. There were some targeted jabs, I got Spencer a few times when I brought up an activity I was certain he had done -- just to keep him involved.

However he never drank past that. He never took a sip when Emily made a sexual innuendo, or when she brought up one night stands, number of partners, most bizarre location to engage in intercourse. Nothing of the sort got him to break. I figured he was a private guy, never one to boast about his sexual experiences.

It was frustrating, to say the least. It got to the point where I couldn’t think about anyone but him. I couldn’t engage in any sexual activity without my mind shifting to him, the way he might slip his fingers in and out of me, or how skilled he was with his mouth instead of the person I dragged home. No other person could even begin to compare to the remedy I concocted in my mind. I didn’t have any information to base my fantasies on, either.

I had it bad. So bad, that at one point I spilled hot coffee all over myself in the breakroom over the littlest interaction.

Spencer came in just after me, mumbling a small hello before reaching to grab a mug for himself. In the process of doing so his shirt rode up, exposing a small expanse of his lower stomach that had me sputtering as I clumsily missed my cup and instead poured the coffee all over the counter. It ran down and soaked through my pants; yet it wasn’t nearly as hot as the way I felt on the inside.

I couldn’t help but wonder the noises he’d make if I were to suck dark purple marks across that plain of skin...or if anyone ever had before.

The small burn was a fine price to pay for my inappropriate thoughts.

Him being the sweet guy that he is, offered to help me clean up. This proposal ended up with him taking paper towels and patting down my thighs -- not realizing just how suggestive the action looked to me.

“Sorry,” He whispered, looking up at my face from his position below me. He was kneeling on one knee, with a hand planted firmly on the outside of my thigh. His voice was soft yet raspy, and oh how I let my mind wander.

“Not your fault,” I said quickly, and borderline ran out the door before he could protest or add anything on.

I headed straight to the bathroom to wash my face, try and stop the effect he had on me from becoming too physical.

If I got that worked up over a small piece of skin showing, nothing could have prepared me for the first night we shared a hotel room.

I was in shambles all night, ever since the moment Hotch handed me a room card and explained we needed to double up.

Emily usually roomed with JJ, Hotch and Rossi got their own, and Derek refuses to bunk with Spencer -- if he could avoid it. Much to my luck, this time he did because Garcia was needed for this case, meaning she and Derek would be sharing.

Leaving me with Spencer.

I stood there helpless, eyes burning a hole into the place that Hotch was previously standing. I was panicking on the inside, my body going into fight or flight mode as I went through scenarios in my head.

I was 99% sure I would be embarrassing myself tonight.

“Hey,” Spencer said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I jumped and shrieked a little bit, and slapped a hand over my heart. “Oh my god, Reid. You scared me.”

“Sorry,” he laughed. “Sorry I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay.”

He nodded, eventually realizing that he was still indeed touching my shoulder. He dropped his arm, only to bring his hand back up to rub over his chin.

My eyes darted down to it, watching at the way his veins stood out. It wasn’t the first time I admired them, there were moments when he was going over maps with two fingers where I wondered what they would feel like on my-

“____?”

“What?” I asked, a little too loud for the setting.

“Did you hear me?”

“No, sorry.”

“I said we should go inside,” he laughed softly, trying to sooth the tension.

I agreed, stepping past him to start walking to our room. I opened the door with trembling hands, wondering just how hard the following nights at the hotel would be.

“I’m gonna go see Emily and JJ. Ask if they wanna go to the bar,” I said quickly, throwing my bag down just inside the door.

“Oh. Okay. Have fun! Don’t stay out too late. You should get a full night’s sleep.”

“I won’t be long. Don’t wait up!” I called, not looking back to see him before half jogging out of the room.

-----

“I cannot go back in there.”

“Oh, because of your little crush,” Emily laughed, much too loud for the early hours of the morning.

Clearly Spencer’s advice about coming back early didn’t plant itself in my head.

“Yes, because of that,” I confirmed. I was staring down at my drink, wallowing in self pity. It was too awkward to even step foot in there, I’m sure just by the sight of him I’d explode.

“What is it about him that gets you hot and heavy?” JJ teased. “No shame, just curious.”

I fake laughed, ignoring her question.

Everything he did was so intoxicating. Even the most mundane things got my blood pumping hard. Each time he let a small gasp through his lips or when he would whisper to himself, a shockwave went through me, igniting a fire deep inside that was near impossible to put out.

But he was so oblivious. He hadn’t a single idea of the effect he had on me. And that was the most frustrating part.

The first time I noticed my extreme attraction to him was shortly after I joined the team, it was only the third or fourth case I’d had with them. Spencer and I walked to a coffee shop to grab some for everyone, and on the way back he was infodumping.

About what, I can’t remember, for I was too fixated on the way his hands wrapped around his cup as he talked. He’d wave it around, and in doing so his fingers would trace little patterns onto the outside of it. I didn't mean to stare, I just got distracted.

I started noticing more little things after that.

Like the way he licked his lips while deep in thought, his mind consuming him to the point where he looked so concentrated and determined. It was hot, to put it simply. I wanted nothing more for him to be licking my lips, to feel him take such care with my body.

He had always been attractive in my eyes, the young boy was nothing but pretty. Even when his hair was shorter and he gelled it back, pairing the look with his glasses -- that he unfortunately wore less often nowadays.

It was nearly painful to be around him all day every day. My head would constantly be spinning with anxiety, only causing more and more headaches to present themselves. It was like a punishment, one I certainly deserved for the tasteful thoughts I had during work hours.

My crush went from an innocent little thing, to full fledged fascination.

‘I just been fantasizin' (size)

And we got a lotta time (time)

Baby, come throw the pipe (pipe)’

Avoiding him as much as I could seemed like a decent plan at the time. If I kept my interactions low, I could distract myself with other things, and not focus on the way his lips pursed as I conversed with him. I raced up more time staring at his mouth rather than completing actual work by my six month stay at the BAU.

“I’m so fucked,” I nodded, coming to a bit of peace with my downfall.

“Well, you could be. If you told him how you feel,” JJ encouraged.

“No way in hell,” I protested, shooting my head up to make eye contact with her.

“____, there is a very, very high chance he feels the same. And if he doesn’t -- which he does -- he’s too sweet to let that impact your friendship.”

“We hardly even have a friendship. Whenever he tries to talk to me I end up running away. He probably thinks I hate him or something. He probably wants nothing to do with me.”

No objection from Emily or JJ there.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Emily asked, changing the pace of the conversation.

“He never speaks to me again. I die of embarrassment.”

“You’re both adults, ____.”

“We are 27!” I shook my head, exasperated. “I hardly even feel like one sometimes.”

“27, exactly. I’m sure by now Reid has gained some experience with talking to women. You’ll be fine.”

“I have absolutely no way of knowing how things will go.”

“Just give him little tests,” JJ suggested. “Like touch him. On the shoulders, compliment him more, really go up to him and make a move. That way if he doesn’t feel the same you can play it off as being platonic.”

I groaned and rested my head on the table dramatically. “You both kinda suck at advice. What am I supposed to do? Waltz into our shared room and confess my love for him? Ask him desperately to dick me down?”

Even though I definitely wanted to.

They laughed at that, saying they were going to bed and wished me luck. Emily advised I should try and ‘get some’ from somebody else, and maybe that would take my mind off of things.

After stalling some more I eventually made my way back to the hotel room, hoping that Spencer was already asleep so I wouldn’t have to face him. But once again, luck wasn’t in my favour.

“Hi,” he spoke softly from his bed.

“Why are you still awake?” I asked, trying my best to stifle a yawn. I threw my sweater down on my bed, before grabbing my go-bag and retrieving my pyjamas from it. “It’s almost one in the morning.”

“I wanted to make sure you got back okay.”

“I told you not to wait up. Naughty boy,” I joked, finally turning my attention fully over to him.

Which could've been a mistake, based on the way you saw it.

He was dressed in flannel pants and a black t-shirt, along with his hair tied up that I’d failed to notice earlier. I froze at the sight, seeing the way his cheeks were dusted a slight red, and lips pink as ever.

His hair was tied up, and I almost dropped dead at the sight. I’d never seen it before. Sure, he sometimes wore an elastic band on his wrist during the work days but never have I seen him actually use one.

“I’m gonna shower and then head to bed,” I said in an effort to keep my voice steady.

He didn’t respond, only turning his head back to the book that was in his hand.

Thankfully when I returned he was asleep, meaning I didn’t have to see him before bed.

The next day was torturous. I couldn’t get the image of him out of my head. The view of him so relaxed on his bed was ethereal, the soft glow of the lamp hand illuminated his skin in all the right places. Did he pull his hair back often? Did he casually sit at home with it up? How did he look in different angles or positions? Are there other things he wears or does that I haven’t seen?

The image was just so domestic that I couldn't stop thinking about it even if I wanted to.

I was afraid to fall asleep, in fear that my dream may turn adventurous. Quitting my job and moving to a new city seems more preferable than having a sex dream about your coworker while they were in the room.

I was hyper aware of every move he made, always keeping tabs on him in the back of my mind so we wouldn’t accidentally run into each other.

Apparently when I was paying attention on how not to see him, I failed to notice how he had filled out recently. He wore looser pants in the past, ones that didn’t allow much shape to show through.

The next day at the precinct I was in for a surprise though, one that was sure to make me fall to my knees.

And I would have, if it wasn’t for the fact I was already seated in a chair.

Spencer walked in clad in pants that were far too tight to be appropriate for work. Or maybe I was overreacting.

“Jesus Christ,” I muttered under my breath, soaking in his appearance of the day.

It was hot outside, so he decided not to wear his usual vest and tie combo, choosing instead just a white pattern button up and grey tie.

I heard Emily snicker beside me, which earned her a light kick in the calf to shut her up. She got up then, winking at me dramatically before leaving the room to presumably go check in with Derek.

“Hey ____, can you come here for a sec?”

I got up without a word, and walked over to the other side of the room where he was standing at the map hung up.

He went off about the unsub’s possible comfort zone -- things that I’d need him to repeat later because I wasn’t fully listening,

I stayed leaning against the table, just two feet behind him which gave me a perfect view of just how tight those pants really were. They hugged his hips deliciously, I wanted nothing more than to rip them off in that moment. I nodded along dumbly, changing my sight from his ass to his back, to his toned arms that were shown off from him rolling up his sleeves.

It was a fair sight, I don’t really think I could be blamed for staring.

A few weeks after that he got a haircut. His longer curls were gone -- yet not forgotten -- and were replaced with a mop of messy waves that framed his face perfectly.

It was like a new blow to my stomach every time I got used to the change.

“New haircut?” I asked the obvious on the first day back from a long weekend.

“Yeah...thought I should change it up,” Spencer replied, picking up his coffee mug to make himself a cup.

I nodded, the room settling in a short silence.

“Do you not like it?”

“No!” I exclaimed, Spencer furrowing his brows in response. “I mean, yes. I do like it. Sorry.”

“Oh, okay,” he laughed. “Thank you.”

“You could pull off any hairstyle, trust me,” I said, before walking back to my desk.

People that we met seemed to feel the same, because he got stopped more often at bars and at shops that were needed to visit. People would give him their numbers, leaving him a blushing mess. It got obnoxious, to the point where I was at my breaking point. My shoulders were always slumped, and my forehead creased with jealousy.

I stayed closer to him when the team went out, in an effort to get other girls to stop making moves on him.

They hadn’t noticed his beauty before, why should they get the privilege to advance on him now?

It was selfish, really. It may have been good for his self-confidence, but not so good for my own feelings.

I made sure to compliment him more often, telling him I liked his sweater vests, and ‘oh my Doctor Reid, is that a new tie?’ It was a win-win really, for both of us. I was building up my comfort level with him, and he knew that I did not, in fact, despise him.

When Spencer got shot on a case a few weeks later, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to show him that I care about him.

It was an easy job, since the bullet only semi-grazed his shoulder blade. Only needed deep cleaning once a night, for a few weeks so it wouldn’t get infected.

“Fuck,” he breathed with a groan, one that sent shivers throughout my veins.

“Sorry,” I answered quickly, keeping my gaze on the task at hand and not on his face that was just so close to mine.

Here I was in Spencer’s apartment, in his bathroom, helping him clean off his wound.

“I’m sorry but you need to stop moving, it’s just making things worse,” I explained.

“It hurts!”

“I’m sure it does! But I can’t do an effective job in cleaning it if you keep thrashing around like that.”

I saw him pout, and lower his head. The gears in his brain were turning, trying to come up with a possible solution.

“You’re going to need to hold me down.”

“What?!”

“I’m not gonna be able to stop moving,” he said, looking over his shoulder to where I was sitting behind him on the floor. “Come on.”

He stood up and left the room, gesturing for me to follow. And I did, collecting the supplies I’d need as he led me over to his living room.

Before I could protest he removed his shirt fully -- not like how it was bunched up by his neck previously.

I stopped in my tracks, eyes taking in every inch of skin that he freed. He was lean, as I predicted, but still toned in areas.

Spencer laid on his stomach down on the couch, motioning for me to come beside him.

“Get on my back.”

“Are you insane?”

“____,” he pleaded, looking up at me. His arms were crossed by his head, he was using them as a makeshift pillow. “I just want this to be over as fast as it can be.”

Right.

“Okay,” I agreed, and began to place my materials down on the coffee table to my right. I then swung a leg over his lower back, straddling him just how I’d imagine doing so before -- only the other way around. “Is this okay?”

He hummed, digging his face as far into the fabric of the couch as he could.

‘I got a lotta new tricks for you, baby

Just sayin' I'm flexible (I will)’

I took that as a yes, and poured some of the disinfectant onto a swab. Bracing myself with a hand on his other shoulder to pin him down firmly he shivered, breath shaking ever so slightly. I tried to catch him off guard with the swab, choosing a random time to press it into his wound.

He was definitely surprised, because he whined loudly into his hands and clenched all of the muscles in his back.

I couldn’t help but wonder if he made similar noises during other activities…

“Just a minute more,” I soothed him, running my free hand over the smooth skin of his back, doing my best to calm him down.

His breathing only became heavier, and was nearly shaking from the burn. I felt bad, having to see him go through this but I’d be lying if it wasn’t doing things to me. I couldn’t help but get a little bit excited when I got the chance to be near him, to be closer than we had ever been before.

It was intense, I was almost sure he could feel my arousal through the fabric of my pants and underwear.

I was an awful person.

Going home that night to sleep was a struggle. I felt guilty, for using his pain for my perverse temptations. Yet as soon as my fingers were buried inside myself I couldn’t stop myself from imagining him above me. The way he might sound, spewing out similar noises that I’d experienced earlier that were still fresh in my brain.

I wasn’t proud of it, and I thought every one of our interactions after that would be even harder.

Going back to work seemed fully impossible, I didn’t have any hope in myself to stay useful while he was parading around, completely oblivious to the effect he had on me. I became more sexually frustrated every day. It was nearly infuriating to see a look of innocence plastered on his face, meanwhile he would do things that made me go crazy.

‘Wanna know what it's like (like)

Baby, show me what it's like (like)

I don't really got no type (type)

I just wanna fuck all night’

“Penelope, I think I might die soon if I don’t get laid,” I said, rapidly opening the door to her cave.

“____-”

“No, I’m serious. I can’t get my mind off of-”

I stopped in my tracks, finally noticing the presence I hadn’t already accounted for.

Spencer sat in a chair to my left, just out of view that you couldn’t see him if you didn’t turn your head. He was in the middle of bringing a chip up to his mouth, but was stopped mid-air with his mouth hanging open.

“Sorry,” he said, scrambling up fast, bumping into things as he collected his satchel with shaky hands. “Sorry I’ll go.”

The door shut with a slam, and left Penelope and I in silence.

“Well, fuck,” I whispered, earning a booming laugh from her. “It’s not funny.”

“It is funny. It’s hilarious,” she giggled, doing a little spin on her chair.

I groaned, and sat down beside her on the edge of her desk.

“Maybe now he’ll make a move on you.”

“Oh shut up,” I slapped her arm, beginning to laugh along with her. “If he was avoiding me before, I’m sure he’ll never speak to me again.”

Ever since I helped Spencer with his injury the first time he’d been semi ignoring me, not trying to actively partake in conversation. We only talked when necessary, but didn’t exchange any extra words when I came over for an hour to help him with his wound.

I was almost happy about that, it meant I didn’t have to embarrassingly throw myself at him all day long.

I was perfectly fine admiring him from a distance, just how I’d done so for years.

However, there was a part of me that was rightfully sad. Did I cross a line, or make him feel uncomfortable? Maybe from spending so much time together recently he gathered I really wasn’t that interesting.

“Don’t say that,” Penelope frowned.

“Why not? It’s the truth,” I shrugged.

“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?”

“How I feel?”

“Don’t even try and wedge your way out of it. Emily told me, don’t be mad,” she said, with the sweetest look on her face that I couldn’t be upset.

“Bitch,” I playfully mumbled.

“Besides you literally were about to say that you can’t get your mind off of him.”

“Uh, no, I was not. I was going to say someone. A general someone. Not Reid.”

She hummed, turning back to her screen to finish up some work Hotch had sent her to do.

“Okay fine. Pen, I’m gonna die. It’s insufferable. I can’t handle it anymore.”

“That’s exactly why you should tell him!” She encouraged excitedly, always a swooner for young love.

“I would scare him. He’s probably scared of me, actually.”

“Oh come on, I’m sure his little virgin heart can take it.”

“What?” I asked, suddenly giving her all my attention. “Virgin? Is he seriously a virgin?”

“I don’t know, truly. I just kinda figured. He doesn’t talk about anyone or anything to do with sex.”

I nodded. That makes sense. With him radiating pure sex appeal in my eyes, the thought never even crossed my mind that he might be a virgin.

But that just made it all the more exciting.

“But hey, if he’s really a 27 year old virgin I’m sure he’s extremely horny,” she laughed.

“We are at work. Let’s calm it down before I actually combust,” I shook my head.

My palms were sweating at the very thought of him doing anything remotely sexual -- which I thought about a lot. Surely he’s had to at least...taken care of himself. I’m sure it was a gorgeous sight, his hand wrapped firmly around his dick and face contorted in nothing but pleasure.

My thoughts were interrupted by none other than the man himself, who barged into the room to say we were taking off for a case in 30.

The flight there was quiet and boring, we left at night so there wasn’t so much we could do when we got there besides head up to our hotel.

“We’re sharing a room,” Spencer said, walking over to me from where he was previously with Derek.

I was standing in front of the vending machine, doing my very best to not eavesdrop on the mens’ conversation, which was only taking place about 20 feet away. Spencer was speaking in a hushed yet agitated tone, and Derek was matching his energy. It seemed they were bickering, but about what I didn’t know.

“Says who?” I panicked.

“Uhh...Hotch did.”

Great.

“Oh. Alright,” I followed him down the hallway, our room was the last one at the end.

I waited for him to open the door, and when he stepped out of the way to let me inside I brushed past him.

When I turned around Spencer was standing there blocking my path, causing me to bump into his chest.

“Hello...” I said confused, taking a step back.

“I…”

“What?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. “Spencer what are you doing?”

He didn’t answer with words, instead reaching up to push a piece of hair out of my face. My breath hitched at the contact, sending me into a short frenzy on the inside. He was inching closer, now his body was getting just close enough so that I could feel the heat radiating off of him. He was glancing back and forth between my eyes, searching my face for an expression of discomfort.

He didn’t find any.

“I was talking with Derek. About you,” he whispered. “He said you’ve been coming on to me.”

My heart nearly missed a beat at his words.

“I've noticed your odd behaviour, you don’t act the way you do with anyone else on the team. You run away from me, and at first I thought you just didn’t like me, but now...I think it’s the opposite. I see the way you look at me, you know.”

“And how do I look at you?” I questioned nervously.

“Like you want me. Tell me. Who were you talking about earlier today? Who exactly can’t get your mind off of?”

I paused, eyes almost bulging out of my head at the implication.

“If I'm reading this wrong, let me know. We can pretend this never happened.”

“Get on the bed and take your clothes off.”

He did just that, moving beside me to shove his pants down his legs, followed by ripping off his shirt, as I did the same. We couldn’t take our eyes off of each other, too busy drinking in our appearances to think straight. He sat down on the edge of the bed in just his underwear, and spread his legs just wide enough to give me space to stand between them.

“Tell me what you want.” he breathed, watching me as I walked towards him.

“You,” I answered simply, climbing into his lap and connecting my mouth was his. “All of you.”

He didn’t protest, only doing quite the opposite. He moaned greedily into my mouth, sucking every last bit of life out of me. He was hungry in his movements, not allowing for a single beat of fresh air for either of us. I was more than happy to return the energy, for I’ve dreamt for too long about what he might taste like. And it wasn’t disappointing, the sensation was far better than I could have ever cooked up in my head.

After a minute he became impatient, and started bucking his hips up to meet mine. I did the same, grinding down on his hardening dick that felt...impressive to say the least.

“I’ve thought about you for so long,” I spoke against his lips, taking a break between kisses.

He groaned back at me, moving his hands from my cheeks down to my hips to hold me flush against himself. He whimpered when I was fully against him, he had to break away to keep his breathing somewhat managed.

“Please, I need you so bad. I’ve thought about you too.”

“What exactly did you think about?” I asked quietly, trailing kisses all across his face, and then started heading down his jaw and neck.

“L-lots of stuff.”

“Tell me,” I demanded, looking up at him from my new position kneeling on the floor. “Please, tell me.”

I brought a hand up to his boxers, ghosting just over his bulge while remaining eye contact.

“Everything. All of you. ____, Please.”

‘You're exciting, boy, come find me

Your eyes told me, "Girl, come ride me"’

“Let me do something first,” I said, pushing against his stomach to encourage him to lie back on the bed. He did so, propping himself up on his forearms to look down at me.

He watched my every move, not a second was missed by his eyes that stayed locked onto my form. I dropped my head down to kiss across his left thigh, and toyed with the waistband of his underwear with my right hand.

He was so vocal, and I hadn’t even done anything yet. I knew we had all night, but I’d waited too long for this to take my time.

‘And we got a lotta time (time)

Baby, come throw the pipe (pipe)’

I pulled his underwear down just enough to reveal his dick hard and red as it stood up against his stomach.

“You don’t...have to,” Spencer stopped me before I could carry on.

“Do you not want me to?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s just…” He stopped, and bit his lip while staring off to one of the walls.

“Has anyone ever done this with you before?” I asked, almost unsure of whether or not I wanted the answer.

“Done what...exactly?” he asked, refusing to look back at me. His cheeks were red in embarrassment, and he was too focused on the distance to see the wave of excitement that flashed over my face.

“Spencer,” I said sharply, prompting him to turn his attention back to me. “Are you a virgin?”

His lack of answer told me enough. He blushed impossibly deeper, and started squirming in place. Just as he was about to speak up for himself I stopped him with, “That’s so fucking hot.”

“What?”

I climbed back up his body, just far enough so that I could grab his jaw in my hand and pull him down to meet my lips. It was even more hungry and passionate than the previous ones we shared, full of such fire I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to kiss anyone else ever again.

“You’re so sexy,” I moaned, hot and needy into his mouth.

He was good, which wasn’t unexpected from my end. His lips were always so plump and pink, they just had to be semi skilled.

“Thank you,” he replied, in a typical Spencer Reid fashion.

“Do you want to stop? Or keep going? Take a minute and think about it. I don’t want to pressure you,” I reassured him, but on the inside I was begging for him to want to continue.

He pulled back for a second, running a hand over the back of my head to keep me from going too far. His eyes were closed, focusing only on his breathing as he thought about his answer.

“I want to keep going. Please,” he decided on, nodding his head. “I just, I dunno, didn’t expect to get this far tonight.”

“Believe me, neither did I,” I smirked, smashing my lips back against his and returning to my spot kneeling between his legs. I pushed him back harder than before, sending a small oof sound from his chest as his back hit the mattress.

“Has anyone ever touched you here?” I asked, finally wrapping my hand around his dick,

It only made sense that a pretty boy like him would have a pretty cock, too.

“O-only once,” he breathed, with his head thrown back. He was staring at the ceiling, staring at the dots to distract himself from the feeling and to not come too soon. “Long time ago.”

“If you need me to stop, tell me,” I said, before licking a broad strip up the underside of his dick.

I paused at the head, swirling my tongue around before continuing my mission back down around the other side. I kissed his base, leaving more near his hips. He whined positively -- probably feeling a little ticklish -- and I took that as a good sign to suck a deep purple mark there.

Just like I’d thought about doing months ago.

I left a few more just up to his belly button, marking him up with the intent to claim him as my own. He’d see those marks for the next few days, and every time he would think of me on my knees for him. I kept pumping him in my hand as I did so, and every time I groaned into his skin his dick twitched with appreciation.

“Oh god,” Spencer moaned as I took him into my mouth unexpectedly, bunching up the sheets in his hands beside his hips.

I looked up to see him now staring down at me, jaw slacked and panting heavily. The sight was enough to elicit a moan from my own mouth, which led to him fluttering his eyes shut at the vibrations that shot through his body.

“Stop, stop!”

“What’s wrong?” I asked worriedly, immediately pulling up.

“Nothing, I just really want to feel you and I don’t think I can last much longer.”

Understandable.

I wasn’t expecting him to last long anyways, I just simply wanted him inside me.

“Do you happen to have a condom?” He shook his head. “I’m clean and on the pill. We should be fine. Is that okay?”

He mumbled an ‘uh huh’ as he watched me stand up, as I pushed my underwear down my legs. He immediately reached out to me, bringing me back in and starting placing kisses across my stomach and hips, mirroring what I was doing to him earlier.

“Good, because if you don’t fuck me right now I think I might die.”

‘Yeah-yeah, oh-whoa-whoa (oh, ooh, mmm)

Baby, I need to know, mmm (yeah, need to know)’

He laughed lightheartedly, fixing himself to be sitting up near the headboard. In the process he kicked off his boxers fully, along with his socks.

I followed after him, not letting him stray too far from my reach.

“I heard that women take longer to, erm, get ready,” he muttered into my skin, hiding his face in my neck. “Let me help you?”

“Please,” I whimpered, though I knew I was far from unprepared. I reached behind myself to unclasp my bra, and as soon as it fell down my shoulders Spencer attached his mouth to my left nipple. “Please touch me.”

He moaned into me, bringing his hand down to my core to run his fingers through my folds. He let his middle breach me, moving so agonizingly slow before curling his finger up. I moaned loudly, letting my eyes shut and body fall slack against him. His free arm wrapped around my waist, giving me the support I needed to stay upright.

“So that’s your g-spot?” He grinned against my skin, and I’d be damned to admit it affected me way more than it should have. He sounded so innocent, so eager to learn.

“Uh-huh.”

He explored my skin greedily, brushing over every inch of my chest he could reach. His thrusts became faster every time he re-entered me, encouraged by the grunt that fell from my lips with each one.

“Have you ever done this with a girl before?”

“No,” he replied, moving from my breasts to my collarbone, leaving a dark purple mark in his path.

“Could've fooled me,” I felt him smile against my neck at the praise -- duly noted.

He flipped us over swiftly -- much to my surprise -- and continued with his actions on both my clit and entrance. I did my best to stay quiet, biting down on his shoulder to prevent any noises from leaking out to stop him from getting too cocky.

“Spencer,” I moaned, raking my fingernails up and down his back. “Stop. Please fuck me now, I’m ready.”

“Are you sure you want to? We can stop,” he reassured me in a voice that seemed far too innocent for the activities taking place.

“Spencer, I’m sure. I’m so fucking sure you have no idea.”

I was so turned on I could cry, the pure want running through my veins was starting to send panic signals throughout my whole body. Before I could beg him any further he replaced his fingers with his dick, catching me off guard. He ran the tip over me for a few seconds before gliding in easily, with little to no restriction at all.

“Ah!” I called, gripping onto his shoulder for dear life.

“I’m so sorry, oh my god did I hurt you?” Spencer asked frantically, removing his weight from me and tried sitting up.

“No. God please move, I need you so bad,” I pleaded, pulling him back down before he could get too far away.

He nodded. He started slow. So slowly that I wanted to scream and beg at the top of my lungs for more. However I was above giving him the satisfaction of that -- at least for now.

“You feel so good,” Spencer panted, hips shaking as he slid in and out at a torturous pace.

I pulled his lips back to mine for another kiss, drinking in everything he was willing to offer. I whined every time his body rubbed against my clit in a way that had my toes curling and eyes rolling back.

“This is so much better than I’ve imagined,” I moaned, breaking free from his mouth to lay back against the pillows. I wrapped my legs around his waist, aiding him with the speed of his thrusts. “Please, Spence, oh my god go harder.”

He moaned loudly, and lowered his head to my collarbone in an effort to muffle some of the noises he was letting out.

He followed my directions well -- and I took notes for the future.

The sounds of him bouncing off the walls was amplifying my pleasure to a new degree, it was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. His hips snapped forward impossibly faster, leaving him a whimpering mess above me. Our chests were pressed together, the sound of skin slapping and gliding over each other filled the dimly lit room.

“You’re doing so good for me,” I whispered into his neck, leaving open mouthed kisses here and there.

He moaned freely at all of the praise, and every time I urged him on he’d pick up his speed a little bit. He was now moving faster than I thought I could handle, slamming into me at the perfect angle.

I felt him everywhere. In my stomach, insides of my thighs, chest -- where he was now palming at one of my breasts -- and the crook of my neck. I hugged my arms around his middle to keep him locked against me, preventing his hips from heavily backing out.

“I’m really close,” He groaned, lifting his head to meet my eyes. “S-should I pull out now?”

“No,” I demanded, tightening my legs to keep him trapped. “Come inside me.”

He nodded with a particularly loud moan, and snaked one hand down my body to meet my clit. When I gave a sound of approval he quickened his wrist, rubbing me with just the right amount of pressure to send me closer to the edge.

He came with a final shout in my name, resting his full body weight against me as I rocked my him against him to help him through it. I finished soon after, at the feeling of him releasing himself in me. It was so warm, like a comforting blanket that overtook all of my senses.

It was possibly the best orgasm I’d ever had, it was so profound that I couldn’t see, or focus on anything else.

We laid there for a few minutes, my hand running through his hair and his ghosting up the side of my hip. It took a while for us both to catch our breaths, we were too immersed in the moment to break apart from one another.

“That was literally the best sex I’ve had in my life,” I breathed, staring up at the ceiling.

“Same, but I don’t have anything to compare it to,” Spencer replied, and we both laughed weakly.

“That was okay for you? Your first time? Not really the traditional approach.”

“It was perfect. I wouldn’t have asked for anything different,” he pulled himself up with a smile, before pulling out and flopping down beside me.

“But seriously,” I sat up, resting my head on my palm to get a better view of him. “I’ve never been so attracted to someone as I am with you.”

“____,” he blushed. “I-”

“No! No, let me finish. Please.”

He nodded for me to go ahead.

“Not only are you just insanely sweet and so charming, you’re so handsome. Like I can hardly even look at you half the time. You drive me insane, Spencer you have no idea. Holy fuck I’ve never wanted someone so bad before I met you. You’re intoxicating. I can’t get enough. I’ll cringe about this later but I just need you to know.”

“This may not be the most common way...but do you want to go out with me? L-like on a date?” Spencer asked. He was blushing so heavily, his chest was painted pink and ears were turned red.

“You just came inside of me and you’re nervous about asking me on a date.”

“____!” Spencer exclaimed, facepalming himself.

“Yes,” I grinned. “I’d love to go out with you.”

-----

Please tell me your thoughts on this chapter here! You can also send me an ask to be added to/removed from the taglist.

permanent taglist; @pervhotch @spenxerslut @donald4spiderman @measure-in-pain @thatonezesty13 (check your visibility settings!) @jswessie187 @kuolonsyoja @idonotexiste

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader smut #sub spencer reid #virgin spencer reid #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x fem!reader #mgg #matthew gray gubler #gublernation #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

424 notes · View notes

goldenhypen · 2 years ago

Text

it’s this blog’s one year anniversary 🥹🫶🏻

happy one year y’all !! ah, wow, so many things have happened over this past year ,,, it honestly feels like i’ve been on here forever with you guys as almost another family to come to at the end of the day to listen to all my rambling about my love for jake haha (i’m half kidding) but, you guys, i’m rlly, rlly thankful for y’all. you’ve shown me sm love over this past year, more than i could’ve ever imagined. this blog has been growing crazy fast, and in just one year, with close to around 115 works (how ???) we’ve already hit 3.23k followers (hOW ??!?) !! that’s absolutely insane and incredible and i just wanna give a huge shout out and this is my shout out- to you all for making this such a fun experience and for reading and enjoying and showing love to my works, but also me as a person. i’m so grateful, and i will make an effort to work even harder in the future to repay you guys <3

ah, i’ve met so many incredible ppl along the way as well, and i wanna take this time to thank some of them, however, bc there’s just so many amazing ppl i’ve met, and you all are so special to me and have made my time on here so enjoyable, i unfortunately can’t name them all, but to just a few who have made my time on here particularly special…

[ @heeracha ] — rey <3 omg have we been through a lot ,,, i honestly can’t exactly remember how it was that we became moots (ew the term ‘moots’ sounds weird using it with you since we’re sm closer than just ‘moots’ but anyway). i think we ended up liking a bunch of each other’s works and interacting that way ,, and wow i wouldn’t have ever imagined that the talented enha/skz writer i found on the internet one day would become someone i would talk to every single day and that i’d gain a best online friend out of it <3 ,, you’ve read through paragraphs of me talking about jake, and encouraged my simping, all the way to encouraging me in real life situations, and have comforted me when i felt discouraged. it’s amazing how we can go on talking for—it’s almost been a year now, and we still talk every day. so yeah ,, thank you ,, i can’t imagine my life without you, and you’ve changed it for the better <3 ,,,, and ,, i’m sorry for not giving you your hee pics yesterday. i’ll give them to you after this though ig 🙄😔 ,,,, hehe i love you rey 🫶🏻

[ @ethereal-engene ] — ash <3 words cannot describe just how thankful i am for you. we have sm fun simping over not just jakehoon and the rest of enha but also our svt boys <33 and i don’t get to do that with moots on here v offen and so hehe i’m v grateful <3 but aside from just being friends who fangirl over boys tgt, you have also always been there for me and looked out for me and have been so understanding and supportive of me, and i always have sm fun talking to you, and you never fail to put a big, fat smile on my face. like you said, you’re basically like an older sister to me <33 you’ve become someone v special to me here, ash, and i hope we stay friends for a v long time <3 i’m so grateful for you, ash, and i have sm love in my heart for you. thank you for everything <333

[ @tyunni ] — may <3 ahhh may omg i’m trying to think of how i even met you and how we first interacted but for some reason, no matter how much i try to think, i srsly can’t remember ??? sksjs maybe you can help jog my memory 😭 but anyways, thank you for all the fun and amazing memories. we’ve shared so many deep conversations that i have never had with anyone else on here before, and even though we haven’t been friends for a year yet, i feel like we’ve known each other for sm longer (and i mean that in all the best ways). you’re my fav riki simp that i can always go to and share delulus with <//3 and just ,, you’ve put so many smiles on my face over this past year with all the things we talk about, and i’ve also never had anyone reblog works with as encouraging messages as you have, and now i take that with me and do the same to others so that hopefully i can put just as wide of a smile on their faces as you have mine. i’ve learned sm from you, but this is just one of the many <3 anyway, i can go on and on about just how grateful i am for you, but hopefully this gives a little bit of an idea <3 love you sm, may <3

[ @sultrybaby ] — kel <3 oh how less joyful my time on here would be without you :’) you’re such a fun and thoughtful person, and i’m truly grateful that i’ve had you with me on this journey. i legit can’t even picture this place without you. idk if you know just how caring and encouraging and understanding you are to not only me but also to lots of other on here. we’ve shared so many deep convos with one another, and i’m grateful that you’ve always been here for me when i need it. you’ve put countless smiles on my face, and you’re someone i think of every day, and i adore you and only wish the best for you. you’re such a supportive friend that i can relate to on so many levels, and i just wanna thank you for all the invaluable memories we’ve created. love you sm, kel <333

[ @kpophubb ] — my lovely mia <3 my angel !! mia you are the sweetest, most thoughtful and caring person on this site :( truly, i wanna thank you for everything :( thank you for being there for me and supporting me and encouraging me and for showing me so much love throughout my time on here. i think you were my first moot who was a fellow jakey stan, and it’s been so fun fangirling tgt. mia, you’re one of the most thoughtful ppl i’ve met on this site, and i aspire to be like you in that way. i’m so grateful for you, and i hope we can be friends for a vv long time 🥺 i’ve watched you grow and overcome sm, and i’m so proud of you, mia, for everything <3 stay happy, love bc you deserve nothing but the best. i love you 🥹🫶🏻

[ @sungbeam ] — beam, my twin <3 omg i wish we became friends sooner 😭 like ik you interacted with me first but ugh the fact that i knew of your existence for a while before then, and i should’ve just reached out 😭 it’s the introvert em coming out 😬😭 but omg when i found out that we share sooo much in common, i obviously immediately felt so connected to you already, and it was so cool. i’m so happy we have sm to connect on and that we can go to each other to fangirl about so many things and just talk about all the things we share in common but also the things we differentiate on so that we can learn from each other too :) also ,, kinda random but i’m also rlly glad i found your blog bc i rlly, rlly enjoy reading your works bc they’re some of the most well-written works i’ve read on here, and i honestly aspire to write like you lol ,, but ahem anyways :D thanks, beam, for all the fun memories so far ,, i can’t wait for what the future holds and to make even more memories tgt <3 i love you <3

[ @ljeyes / @enhasfever ] — ari <3 i don’t want this to make you feel pressured to return anytime soon, but it would feel wrong leaving you out of this post since you’ve made such a huge impact on my life here on this blog. you were my first ever moot on here, and i remember reading your works and just being stunned by your style and talent ,,, still to this day, almost whenever i read any fics on here, i think of you and still just wonder how anyone could be so talented. like i still look up to you sm. you’re like an older sister to me and a role model, and i’ve learned sm from you. you’ve provided me with so many fun memories, and ahhh omg i miss you sm :(((( come back 🥺 jk i already told you i don’t want this to pressure you, but ah i rlly, rlly miss you, ari :( i hope you’re doing well :( thank you for being one of my best friends on here :( i love you so much, and truly, thank you for everything you’ve done for me <333

these got so long, i got so carried away ahaha as i write this it’s now already 2:30 am- oops lol i wasn’t even planning on writing individual messages for all y’all but it felt wrong not including them, so ,, yeah. in other words though, if the messages were too long ,, i love you guys and it’s rlly hard to put into just one paragraph how grateful i am for you 🥹🫶🏻

but anyways, this and sm more has happened within just one year of me being here ,, it makes me wonder what else awaits in the future and what new things i’ll experience and who else i’ll meet this upcoming year <3

anyway, i’m still at it, and y’all have helped me stay motivated and to keep on writing, and so thank you for all your support and kind words. i see and read every single one of them <3 you all have helped me grow confidence and challenged me to write a lot this past year, but it’s been rlly good <3

sending you each the fattest virtual hug rn <33 thank you for one fantastic year, you guys <3 it makes me infinitely more excited for the next <3

#we made it y’all woot woot 🥳#i have sm love for y’all and i’m so grateful for every one of you for joining me and showing me sm love on this journey so far 🫶🏻#thank you for such an incredible year <3 #i love you tons <333 #em speaks #lovely moots #1 year anniversary #milestone

26 notes · View notes

iliveiloveiwrite · 4 years ago

Text

take me by the heart, take me by the hand // Elijah Mikaelson

A/N: An extension of the blurb I wrote on my blurb night a couple of weeks ago!! My taglists are open! If you would like to be added, drop me an ask and I’ll add you!! I hope you all like!

Pairings: Elijah Mikaelson x GN!Reader

Warnings: jealousy, soulmates, pining, mutual pining, mentions of food.

Word count: 2.1k

The sun was shining when Elijah Mikaelson began to understand jealousy in its unending torture. He wasn’t used to such an emotion. He wasn’t used to the blind rage that filtered through his body when he caught sight of you laughing with his brother. He wasn’t used to the want that would settle deep within his gut whenever he made you smile, laugh.

He supposed there was a sick juxtaposition in the fact that there he was, a creature of the night, sitting in the sunlight as he watched you laugh along to whatever story Klaus was currently telling.

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t felt jealousy before, but Elijah had never experienced it to this extreme where he felt like the villain of a fairytale, desperate to steal the innocent love interest away and keep them for eternity.

“You wrestled a bear!” You gasp, bringing Elijah’s attention back to the room. Your eyes are wide as you hang onto every word of Klaus’ story.

The narrator nods; a smug smile crossing his face as he begins to act out the crux of the story. “We had this newfound strength after we were turned by our mother,” Klaus explains, “And the bear was easily disgruntled, choosing me for its next meal.”

“What did you do?”

“Well, love,” Klaus croons; his smile turning to a smirk as he hears Elijah grit his teeth. “I chose to engage.”

“Why would you choose to do such a thing?” You demand; eyebrows furrowed in confusion and concern for Klaus’ ability to make sane decisions. Elijah makes himself turn away; if he could, he would press away the furrow between your brows with a kiss, explaining that his brother was ever the exaggerator as he was an actor.

Klaus shrugs, lounging in his chair with a self-satisfied expression on his face. “Because I could and can,” He answers plainly, catching Elijah’s narrowed gaze from across the room and raising a single eyebrow in challenge.

Elijah doesn’t rise to the bait; doesn’t give himself the chance to. Instead, he leaves the room, feeling your frown on his back with every step he takes away from you.

“Have I done something to offend your brother?” You ask Klaus; your voice small as you stare at the doorway Elijah only walked through moments ago. Elijah had been off with you for weeks; staying in the room with you for limited amounts of time before stalking off to another room. He rarely spoke, but the soft timbre of his voice sent shivers down your spine with every word uttered. You couldn’t bear the thought of having offended the man you found yourself attracted to.

“You’ve done nothing, love,” Klaus reassures in a rare moment of affection. “My older brother just has some issues he needs to work out.”

“Oh,” You reply, falling quiet and remaining so for the rest of your time spent with the supernatural family.

----------

“Are you going to explain what is wrong with you, or are you going to stew in your feelings all night?” Klaus demands of his brother as soon as he enters the room, having seen you off only moments ago. The decanter of whisky sits open on the coffee table; one glass out of the two already filled halfway. Klaus helps himself to the other glass, pouring a knuckle’s length of the amber liquid.

“I don’t know what you’re referring to,” Elijah states airily, bringing his glass to his lips. He knew full well that he was jealous; he knew that was distancing himself from you and his sibling, unable to bear the rising envy clawing at his throat. What pains him most is that he can how his distance affects you, how hurt you look when he returns clipped conversations. The furrow between your brows deepens and he feels like a monster for being the cause of it.

“Your behaviour in front of (Y/N),” Klaus explains, doing his best to keep the anger aimed at his brother at bay. “They think they’ve offended you.”

“(Y/N) could never offend me,” Elijah states vehemently.

“You’re going to have to explain that to them.”

“I will eventually,” Elijah sighs, finishing off his drink and quickly refilling it.

“Whatever it is, brother, you can tell me,” Klaus promises in a rare moment of softness.

“That’s the thing, brother,” Elijah begins, “I don’t know what it is. All I know is that I see you two interacting and I lose my mind to jealousy.”

“Ah,” Klaus whispers, a knowing smile on his face as he places his glass on the table. The younger of the two men stands, clapping his brother on the shoulder before leaving the room.

Klaus finds it hard to keep the smile off his face as he wanders the halls of his New Orleans home. His brother had found his soulmate and hadn’t realised it. Their mother had warned them of such magic; the natural magic of the earth that created two souls to be intertwined perfectly. Outwardly, Klaus didn’t put much stock in the belief, but he had seen his mother turn his siblings into monsters cursed with having to walk the night for an eternity. It would make sense for soulmate magic to enter the Mikaelson home once and for all.

Elijah doesn’t stand from the chair; he remains seated for the night, resting his chin on his hand as he tries to get to grip with the feelings roused in your presence. He can no longer deny the attraction he feels for you; can no longer ignore the fact that he would give everything to wake up in a morning with you beside him, but what he cannot explain is the darkness of the jealousy holding him in its grip.

He only leaves the chair when he hears your voice chiming off the stone walls of the compound they call home. Your laughter lightens the atmosphere of the house; bringing joy to a home that was so used to the darkness of Klaus’ moods.

The kitchen is bright with the morning light as Elijah settles at the table; his gaze already fixed on Klaus and yourself. The former grabbing a box of cereal from the cupboard as you help yourself to the fridge for the milk.

It’s as you sit down that he begins to feel it. The sunlight catches you perfectly; your hair practically soaking up its rays as if you were to become the celestial being itself – the brightness radiating out of you with every laugh, every smile, and every animated gesture of your hands as you tell off Klaus for the fifth time already today. Elijah tightens his hand into a fist in an effort to keep the growing possessiveness at bay.

He didn’t know where it began; this dark urge to possess you. All he knew was that the majority of the time, his thoughts revolved around you along with the word ‘mine’ on repeat. The façade of the gentleman, so carefully crafted after a millennia wandering the earth, began to crumble in your presence. Elijah could feel the green eyed monster clawing its way through his body, its claws sinking in deeper with every friendly glance at any man that wasn’t him.

“It comes with finding your soulmate,” Freya announces to her younger brother; the earthy scent of sage blooming around her as she takes a seat next to him. Elijah raises a single eyebrow in question; not in the mood for futile conversation today. Freya represses the urge to roll her eyes as she elaborates, “The jealousy. The irrational anger. The want. It comes with finding your soulmate.”

“Soulmates are a myth,” Elijah counters, finding his gaze drawn to you – watching you talk to Klaus, laughing at one of his calmer moments. The very action has Elijah clenching his fists to keep the anger at bay.

Freya fixes her younger brother with an unimpressed look. “Elijah, you’re one of the oldest vampires in the world, and I’m a witch. We are the myths whispered around campfires.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Elijah wonders in awe. “I never thought I would have one,” He continues in a softer voice, thinking of his past lovers – they had never made his mind race, or his breath stop in his chest, they were never his last thought at night and his first thought in the morning.

You were, however.

Elijah meets the gaze of his wiser, older sister to find her already watching him with a fond smile on her face. “Go speak to (Y/N),” She urges in a soft voice, “Explain everything.”

With the support of his sister, Elijah makes his way to where you sit with Klaus. His younger brother already regaling you with one of his many stories about his past; the darker parts of each tale hidden away this early in the morning. Klaus pauses his tale as Elijah clears his throat. “Could I have a moment of your time?” Elijah asks of you, glancing between Klaus and yourself. Klaus raises an eyebrow but wisely remains quiet.

“Of course,” You murmur, standing from your chair, following the older gentleman to an alcove just down the hall from the kitchen.

“I wanted to apologise for my behaviour,” Elijah starts when he feels certain that his siblings aren’t listening in, “I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you in any way over the past couple of months. I’ve been coming to terms with some personal things and Freya, thankfully, explained the cause of such behaviour this morning.”

“Your apology is accepted, Elijah,” You laugh, smiling happily at the taller gentleman, taking note of how he seems closer to the Elijah you have come to know and love. “What did Freya explain if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I don’t mind at all,” He answers, “You’re bound to find out eventually.”

“Don’t keep me in suspense, Elijah!”

Elijah chuckles, smiling down at you indulgently. “I was jealous,” He explains; his face turning thoughtful. “I couldn’t figure out why. Whenever I saw you speaking or laughing with another man like Klaus or Kol, or even Marcellus though I know he’s happy with Rebekah, I was overcome with such intense jealousy that it was hard for me to get control of.”

“You were jealous?” You splutter, “Of what?”

“Of the men you so easily formed friendships with. I wanted to be the one you smiled at, that you laughed with.”

“I thought you hated me,” You confess timidly. “I thought I had broken an ancient vampire protocol and I had offended you.”

“You could never offend me,” Elijah states, “And I could never hate you, it’s rather the opposite.”

“The opposite?”

Elijah nods. “Freya explained to me the existence of a magic I once believed to not exist. I had never seen it; thus I could never state its truth. It wasn’t until Freya explained that the reason behind my jealousy and dark moods was that you are, indeed, my soulmate did I even remember that such a powerful magic exists on this planet.”

“Soulmate,” You breathe, peering up at Elijah through your lashes, “I’m your soulmate?”

“As I am yours,” Elijah swears, stepping that little bit closer to you.

“Vampires… witches… soulmates,” You whisper, unable to comprehend the change in your belief system.

“You’re not upset, are you?” Elijah asks, reaching for your hand. He need to know your feelings on this; should you not want the bond; he would take a step back. It would hurt, but he would do it for your happiness. Should you accept the bond, he would be a man in possession of the greatest living thing on earth – you.

“I’m not upset,” You promise, smiling at the original vampire, tangling your fingers together.

You place your free hand on Elijah’s chest, fully aware that you would not feel a heart beat under your palm. Even through the designer material of his perfectly tailored suit, you can feel the coolness of his skin and whilst many would be repulsed by the lack of warmth, you only feel further attraction for the man in front of you.

Elijah’s hand covers yours; the action speaking louder than any words could. He can feel the life thrumming through your veins; the vitality that punctuates the air with every breath you take. He feels drunk on his feelings for you; at a loss to understand how your paths crossing months ago could lead to a moment like this.

“I want a forever with you,” You whisper boldly, moving your hand to the back of Elijah’s neck.

“Forever and more,” Elijah promises; sealing the spoken vow with an unhurried kiss.

*****

The Originals taglist: @angelxnaa

Special fic tag: @elijahs-wife

#elijah mikaelson x reader #elijah x reader #elijah mikaelson imagine #elijah mikaelson #Elijah Mikaelson fanfiction #the originals #the originals fanfiction #elijah mikaelson imagines #the originals fanfic

427 notes · View notes

no-droids · 4 years ago

Note

Ch 17 was so, so, so good (thank you!!) 🥺 i am still processing. ((Edit: this turned into an essay so i Am Very Sorry in advance, there is a tldr at the end though))

First of all. We get to see Din going through it the same way sweet girl was a couple chapters ago and I love it! She’s been so clear from the start that she doesn’t want to run away from him and now Din’s getting to the point where he doesn’t want to chase her anymore because he just wants her to be physically there with him again. The second night of comms while she’s camped out at the orphanage?? “I thought this was going to be alright, but I hate it.” ??????????? i am a Puddle of Emotions no one look at me 😭

And then the way he’s so unsure about whether she hasnt begun to reconsider wanting to keep up with his bounty-hunter life now that she’s finally gotten a break if being forced to outrun a mandalorian can be really even be called a break for the first time in a year?? And he can SEE all the places she’s stopped to talk to people on this planet (his comment about the number of times the blond guy turned around to talk to her in the line? 🥺.) Din knows she’s enjoying these small encounters with people, getting to interact with a new planet and learn new things as she’s making her way through each place, and since they’re only talking at night he gets to think about it literally all day long as he follows her trail and tries to figure out what her plan is. This is truly an exercise in Din thinking nonstop about sweet girl (which ofc he does already, but like, thinking critically about what she thinks/wants/does/needs and why) and I feel like that’s causing him to slowly start to second guess himself in terms of where he would put himself on sweet girl’s list of priorities. And I wonder how much of this he’s actually considering for the first time? because it’s always him who leaves and comes back when he gets jobs — this is the first time that sweet girl has left him instead of the other way around. Sweet girl has had tons of time to think about these things, whereas Din hasn’t really had to... because it’s not the one who leaves who feels the absence most, it’s the one who’s left behind (even if just temporarily).

I can just picture Din’s increasing doubts as the chase keeps going, whether he’s worth putting up with his lifestyle and whether sweet girl wouldn’t rather have a life like the people he sees in the footprints around hers? because he knows her, knows she likes soft beds and meeting people and fresh fruit and beautiful scenery, which are all things that living on the razor crest can’t always provide except for the last one bc Din Djarin IS beautiful scenery let’s be clear and just. the ANGST. I cannot. ( a n d meanwhile sweet girl is having a breakdown thinking he wants to STOP looking and LEAVE her? As if)

So when she shuts down his tentative doubts about it on the second night she’s at the orphanage and Din starts asking questions about favorite animals and flowers and things?? 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I lost it. Din is mirroring the love and care he receives from sweet girl (and learning to tap into those emotions as he does) and I am just in awe of both his character development from ch 1 to here and your ability to show that gradual shift in your writing.

Tl;dr thank you very much for this latest chapter! I will continue to be a soft emotional little puddle for the foreseeable future, or at least until I can figure out to scrape myself off the floor and function like a human being who has not just read rough day ch 17 and promptly dissolved as a direct result🌻

okay

okay first of all ma’am/sir/friend, please do not put tl;dr’s on a fucking MASTERFUL DISSECTION LIKE THAT like I genuinely hope people read every word of what you have written because you’re so spot on about everything that I was almost taken aback JEJFJJDJFJF

I would like to say, and I need to do this in list form because you have presented so many beautiful points that I’d like to address them one by one,

1.) Din Djarin is used to being alone. Full stop. Like even with sweet girl helping out with the baby and agreeing to stay on the ship while he goes and grabs quarry, he’s gone for weeks sometimes. He is used to being by himself, to fending for himself, protecting himself, patching himself up, EVERYTHING by himself. He is the most independent self-sufficient driven bounty hunter Karga has on the payroll and he’s reliable, which is why Karga would give him four pucks at a time. Giving anyone else four pucks would mean that if they happened to die during their hunts, then more than one puck would be lost and that’s money down the drain. Din doesn’t die, he always comes back with all four bodies and he’s fucking quick about it. Him telling sweet girl “I thought this was gonna be alright” is apt, because he’s been able to exist without her and do good work while he knows she’s safe on the Crest. In fact, the only time he EVER didn’t do good work is when a) she was attacked on the Crest on Corellia, or b) when he desperately wanted to get back to her as quick as possible and he pushed himself too hard and put himself in danger (aka frozen on Hoth scene). And actually c) when he stole Grogu back from the empire and had Karga and the guild on his ass about it. Those were the only times Din had trouble doing his job. The only times he stopped looking and gave up. “I thought this was going to be alright, but I hate it” means that YES ABSOLUTELY DIN DJARIN DOES NOT LIKE STAYING PUT WHILE SHE LEAVES, even though he’s okay with going out and doing his job when she stays. Even though he’s still hunting, it’s like the roles have been reversed. She’s understanding his side, and he’s understanding her side. It’s been 4 days and he hates it, so imagine weeks or months of that. Not being able to move or chase after her either, just hanging out on the crest with Grogu and waiting to see if she’ll be able to make it back. Which

2.) makes it hurt just a lil more in that wonderful delicious angsty way when he actually asks if she wants this life. On Naboo, he didn’t know where she went or where the kid was—he didn’t know if they were in danger, if she was safe. He said he’d rip the galaxy apart to find her if she ever disappeared like that again. But... she’d be safe on Sanctuary II. This is different, and just like you said, he’s had multiple days where all he did was try to think like her. Get in her head, predict her. Understand her more than he’s ever attempted to do before, in a NECESSARY capacity, like he would a bounty he’s hunting. Din Djarin is used to being alone. He’s used to being silent and that’s how connections are severed before they can even be established. His only practice at empathy was through his job, a job that he is very very good at, but it was never enough to get him to stop looking. He would never be able to empathize enough to ask if the bounty wanted him to stop looking for them. Even with the baby, he turned him in at first and then let the guilt eat him alive before going back to save him. So, if you couple that with his true connection to sweet girl, the natural empathy he has for her and the kid (him immediately following her after he accidentally snapped at her on the Crest and apologizing) and Din is now TRULY beginning to understand her on a level he’s never experienced with another person

3.) BUT!!! Even though he “needed to ask” (meaning he understood enough to know that asking the question was necessary) he started out the entire conversation by admitting he doesn’t think he could do it. Before ever telling her what specifically he doesn’t think he could do, he already knows this about himself and says it flat out. I don’t think I could. Even if you asked me to, even if you said you’d be happier if I did, even if you told me right now that it’s what you wanted, I don’t think I could ever stop looking. And a lot of the turmoil he experiences is because of that. I make you sleep on the floor. I teach you to fight when you just want to look at waterfalls. I do all these things that you’d never willingly do yourself, and I’m a bad person BECAUSE I still want you to always be here with me in spite of all that.

4.) Meanwhile sweet girl just has no fucking clue all this is happening and it seems to come out of nowhere, all she knows is that he’s been in the city when he should’ve caught up to her days ago. She’s out experiencing things and meeting new people and yet she always comes back to Din and the baby and how much they should be here with her. She tries to come up with clever ways to outthink him but she also offers to give her coordinates to him practically every single night. Her wanting to be with him so bad but trying to hold out (“ask me again tomorrow”) while Din is also wanting to be with her so bad and also trying to hold out (“find her again tomorrow”) 🥺

So yeah basically in conclusion I love them together and they’re so different but they make each other somehow both stronger and softer in so many ways and yeah u mighta heard of DD/LG u kinky fucks but lemme present to u DD/SG

#ask #anon #I am so sorry I rambled so long jshdjdjdjddh #rough day spoilers

689 notes · View notes

swiftgronmasterpost · 4 years ago

Text

The Swiftgron Timeline Remastered

Hey Guys! It’s Cam from @whatiwillsay

It’s high time the Swiftgron Masterpost was updated with more content and a cross reference of the Achele timeline and other newly learned information.

Now if you’re just looking to prove that Swiftgron is real to your friends click here for a more succinct summation of proof. But if you want to read the sad, beautiful, tragic (no that’s not a Swiftgron song) story of Swiftgron, to go through the ups and downs, from the Hunger Games to SNL this is the place for you!

I was inspired to do this partially by this conversation. TL;DR is there was some lively discourse in the fandom about who the breakup songs on Red are about.

Personally, it doesn’t make sense to me for them to be about Dianna when the falling in love songs are obviously about her (mentions of green eyes, her name in the 22 liner notes, ect.) For one quick example: the songs The Last Time and Come Back...Be Here were written and recorded right around the same time.

I’m sorry but I just cannot fathom those two songs being about the same person. One is about the softest start to a relationship you’ve ever imagined - pining away and missing someone you barely know but are already infatuated with and the other is a gut wrenching heartbreak song about someone you’ve been on and off with for a long time.

Furthermore the Swiftgron masterpost and timeline was laid out by either Kaylors or general Gaylors, but no one who seems to have an in depth knowledge of Achele or even of Taylor’s relationships before Dianna, other than Emily which by all accounts ended in 2008.

So I wanted to fill in all the blanks left open on the original Swiftgron masterpost to see if it’s possible that it missed anything.

Plenty of this data will still come from the original Swiftgron masterpost and shoutout to them for building such an amazing document! It’s a great primer but it does gloss over a lot of events such as the Glee tour in the summer of 2011, the circumstances around all the early Swiftgron meetings, and the obvious Achele interactions through early winter 2012, and of course it’s missing all the weird late stage Swiftgron social media shenanigans.

I wanted to make this masterpost to be able to stand alone so I ripped some gif sets and other info (mostly on Achele) that I didn’t personally build because I don’t ever want anyone running into dead links. If you see an edit or content you made that I haven’t credited please let me know and I will credit you or remove it if you really want me to.

The other reason I made this was I wanted to have one succinct and chronological place to store every single Swiftgron photo, video, or media of any other type. If it’s Swiftgron related I will find it and add it here. If I missed something you can let me know by reaching out to me on my usual blog @swiftgron-get-married.

For those of you that are new to Gaylor here’s a few notes:

1. If Taylor seems fruity to you it’s cause she does to everyone else. Welcome.

2. Swiftgron is the pairing of Taylor Swift and Dianna Agron.

3. Achele is the pairing of Dianna Agron and Lea Michele. It happened before Swiftgron (I think summer 2009 - Early 2012). Achele was real 100%. Go to Achele References on Tumblr for more info but just know I have reason to believe Achele actually dated beyond public information. Take that with a grain of salt of course and look at the evidence for yourself.

4. At some points in this document I reference a forum called The L Chat - that place is a wasteland of biphobia, transphobia, and other gross things but they did closely track Swiftgron and Achele. I don’t recommend going there as it can be very triggering to some. I have gone and pulled out relevant data so you don’t have to go there.

5. There is a notion in the Gaylor fandom that Dianna was toxic, a serial cheater, and I’ve even heard the word “abusive” thrown around due to the fact that the breakup songs on Red do seem to be about a toxic relationship - Taylor has said as much.

Given what I’ve heard about DIanna from people who have actually had contact with her - this would be incredibly out of character. She does have the reputation of being a bit of a player but is literally famous for how kind, giving, compassionate, and amiable she is to fans, coworkers, and friends alike.

I believe that this document proves that due to events on the timeline that although Swiftgron definitely had their ups and downs (Babe definitely suggests at least one instance of a lack of faithfulness, and I’ve clocked at least two obvious breakups before Taylor commits to Karlie and the Swiftgron romance is over for good) however the idea that it was a completely toxic mess is just not supported by actual public data, gathered evidence, and Taylor’s own music and words.

With that enjoy! The pandemic has done some weird things to people hasn’t it? This what I did instead of going outdoors. (I streamed Folklore six billion times while building this, honestly it was a blast!)

Click here to keep reading!

Orrrr

If you want to skip all the preamble of Achele and Tayliz click here to jump into the Swiftgron Spring!

Table of Contents

Early Stages - Ships Passing in the Night

The 2011 Vanity Fair Oscar Party

Spring 2011 - The Achele of it All

The 2011 Met Gala Klossgron Extravaganza

Glee Live Tour Part 1 - Achele is ON

Glee Live Tour Part 2 - Rivergron in Paris

Glee Live Tour Part 3 - Seriously what the fuck was Shirtgate

Glee Tour Part 4 - Dianna’s Gay Panic Shirtgate Essay

Let’s Check In With Taylor - Speak Now Tour and Tayliz

Fairfax Flee Market - Finally Some Swiftgron!

Fall 2011 - Red and Achele winds down

Winter 2012 - Achele sunset / Swiftgron dawn

The Swiftgron Spring - Everything Changes

Shirley MacLaine’s Birthday

Dianna’s 26th Birthday

The Swiftgron Summer Part 1 - Dominick’s and The Glaad Awards

The Swiftgron Summer Part 2 - Hyiannis Port and The First Breakup

Fall 2012 - They Reuinte in Paris and Haylor Rises

Winter 2013 - The Beginning of the End

Spring 2013 - Fall 2013 - The End?

Winter 2014 - Taylor is Clean but then Swiftgron never goes out of Style

Late Stage Part 1 Spring 2014 - Winter 2018

Late Stage Part 2 Spring 2018 (Babe!) - Fall 2019 (SNL!)

Late Stage Part 3 Folklore Shenanigans

Late Stage Part 4 Evermore!

#part 1 #welcome

2K notes · View notes

xiyao-feels · 3 years ago

Note

i've seen takes that jgy started playing turmoil before the staircase, aka wwx comments that it would take 3months for turmoil to kill nmj (ch64) so obviously jgy started playing it a long time ago, causing all of nmj's anger, all of that was his fault.

but also the novel says that jgy made a decision on the stairs or gave something up then a few days later played for nmj (ch 49) and like...idk what that could be except for killing nmj, is there something else this could be?

is wwx right? is mxtx bad at timelines? is nmj kick 3 months in the past, what is the time between 49 and 50 (when nmj dies in 2mo)

idk this whole thing is fuzzy and if you have any clarification or insight i'd like to hear it

-🦊

Fox anon! I'm glad to hear from you, and I hope you're doing well. I'm sorry I took so long to answer this—I was trying to be thorough, you all can judge whether I succeeded.

Now, I think the first thing to note here is that WWX actually and explicitly observes the Song of Clarity working when JGY is playing for NMJ before the stairs (ch 49):

Since then, Jin GuangYao would travel from Lanling to Qinghe every few days, playing Sound of Lucidity to help quell Nie MingJue rage. He tried his hardest, without speaking even a single word of complaint. Sound of Lucidity was indeed effective. Wei WuXian could clearly feel that the hostile energy within Nie MingJue was being suppressed. And, when playing the guqin, the way that the two conversed and got along even had a hint of the peace they had before they fell out. He began to think that maybe the so-called busy reestablishing the Cloud Recesses was just an excuse. Perhaps Lan XiChen simply wanted to give Nie MingJue and Jin GuangYao a chance to ease their tension.

(emphasis mine)

I think this is pretty conclusive. WWX's observations on the spot override his conclusions after a) being extensively soaked in NMJ's anger/resentment (ch 48-50) b) the entire drama afterwards at Jinlintai including being stabbed through by Jin Ling (ch 50) and c) resting and recovering for four days (ch 63).

Moreover, let's look at what WWX actually says in chapter 63:

Wei WuXian, “Jin GuangYao’s spiritual energy isn’t high. He wouldn’t have been able to take someone’s life with just seven notes. And killing him this way would’ve been too obvious. He definitely wouldn’t have chosen a song so powerful. But, if he could use the reason of playing the Song of Clarity for ChiFeng-Zun to calm his temper and continued to play it for three months, would the song be able to act as a slow poison and catalyse ChiFeng-Zun’s outburst?”

He's asking LXC questions about Turmoil, because it's new to him and he doesn't understand everything about it. I think it's pretty clear here that he's starting from how long he saw JGY play for NMJ, and asking if that would be long enough, rather than definitively stating that it would have to take three months; nor is there anything in LXC's response ("… Yes") that suggests three months is any kind of necessary minimum.

So those are the facts at hand. And imho if you look at the text in the later Empathy, there's a great deal of supporting evidence as well. There's the moment you mention, where JGY seems to be making a decision:

Nie MingJue, “Then why don’t you sacrifice yourself? Are you any nobler than them? Are you any different from them?”

Jin GuangYao stared at him. A moment later, as though he had finally either decided on something or given up on something, he replied calmly, “Yes.”

He looked up. In his expression were some of pride, some of calmness, and some of a faint insanity, “I and they, of course we are different!”

I agree with you, he's deciding to give up on NMJ—and if it's something else, what is it? If JGY isn't giving up on getting through to NMJ here, what function does this line serve in the text?

And I think it's worth noting here, as I've noted before—when JGY is talking about how different his and NMJ's positions are, he says "Your background is noble and your cultivation is high"; and the "Your background is noble" part is 你出身高贵, with the 高贵 being the "noble" part. When NMJ is asking him "Are you any nobler than them? Are you any different from them?" the "Are you any nobler than them?" is 你比他们高贵吗—so the "noble" part is, again, the same word, 高贵. Given that JGY has just spent a great deal of breath explaining that he is different from NMJ precisely because of his less-noble background, this is very much a pair of questions that might quite justifiably make JGY feel like NMJ is just completely not understanding anything he is saying here at all.

Besides that moment, there is the way he approaches or interacts with NMJ, which is quite noticeably different after the stairs. If you look at the beginning of the stairs, he's trying to convince NMJ to let the XY thing go: he says that if XY is locked up for life and can't hurt people, this isn't too different from him being executed, and then when NMJ does not accept this, points out that it's JGY's father's command and he cannot simply go against it as NMJ wishes. Once JGY loses his temper, he is still presenting arguments for his position—which granted is now approximately "you're being a hypocrite and you don't understand things", but he is still arguing for it—that is, he is still trying to reach NMJ; he is acting as though on some level he believes he can get through to him.

But in attempting to convince NMJ about XY, he is not acting like someone who expects that NMJ is right about to die; because if he were expecting that, he could simply say whatever he likes to put NMJ off, knowing that he won't actually have to pay up. Similarly, in attempting to get through to NMJ via argument, however angrily, he is not treating NMJ as purely an object to be manipulated; NMJ's beliefs matter to JGY separately (I am not saying /only/ separately) from what those beliefs lead NMJ to do. To put it another way: he cares about what NMJ thinks. This too is something that prevents JGY from simply telling NMJ whatever he wishes to hear, and this, too, is lost at the stairs.

For after the stairs, telling NMJ what he wants to hear, and just telling NMJ something that will put him off because he knows or hopes he won't have to pay up, are exactly what JGY does. When he shows up at the Unclean Realm a few days later, he tells NMJ he's here to acknowledge his mistakes and that he's realized NMJ is "doing this" for him; he promises to bring NMJ XY's head in two months, and tells NMJ he can do whatever he likes with him if JGY does not. This is a significant change in behaviour from before the stairs, and in consideration with all the other evidence it seems to me that this is because, post-stairs, he no longer values what NMJ thinks of him, and he is now gambling on his killing NMJ before NMJ kills him.

The only area where he does push back now is NMJ's treatment of NHS, I suspect because he worries about what NMJ might do or continue to do to NHS in his remaining two months of life.

So: I really do think the evidence is pretty clear that JGY starts with Turmoil after the stairs, in that it is directly signalled by the text and in that all the evidence around it backs this up.

That said, I have seen other objections raised by various anti-JGY folk, and while some of them have more merit than others I think it's worth taking the time to go over them.

-JGY couldn't possibly have prepared the Turmoil music in the few days between the stairs and him starting to play for NMJ after.

Yes, I agree; he must have had it prepared earlier. But that only means that he had it prepared, not that he was using it, and while there are certainly people who will only prepare a weapon if they are sure they will use it, I really don't think JGY is among them. He might also have prepared it as evidence for his father that he was working on solving the problem.

-WWX didn't notice a difference between the music JGY was playing before the stairs and the music he was playing after; therefore, it must be the same music.

Honestly, I think that WWX just didn't notice. It's explicitly described as very subtle, and indeed he can't tell the difference between the altered passage and the rest of the song (ch 63):

Wei WuXian withdrew the flute from his lips, “It really is this section? But I don’t find this section different at all.”

And he again observes how similar they are in chapter 64:

And he combined them so well. They sound as though there were the same. His musical talent is indeed excellent.

His repeated observation that they sound just the same suggests that he could very well have failed to notice, I think, and indeed he would have heard the altered version more often.

There is also another explanation, entirely compatible with JGY only using Turmoil after the stairs. WWX says of JGY playing Turmoil that he must have "used little spiritual power" during the Clarity sections, and "only exerted power" during the Turmoil section (ch 64). So if we think WWX would definitely have noticed the difference, there is an explanation for how he nevertheless very clearly observed NMJ's hostile energy suppressed by the music; JGY might have been using his power during the (much longer) Clarity part, and only used a very little during Turmoil. Personally, I think that it fits better with the overall emotional arc if JGY didn't change the music he was playing until after the stairs; but I accept this isn't ruled out as a possibility.

I feel obliged to note that at one point, after I was challenged on the issue of JGY changing the music after the stairs and pointed out WWX noticing NMJ's hostile energy being suppressed, as above, I was offered as an explanation for the passage that JGY couldn't possibly have abruptly switched to Turmoil right away when he started playing for NMJ, because NMJ would have noticed that he was suddenly feeling worse; and that therefore WWX clearly feeling NMJ's hostile energy being suppressed was not really evidence that JGY was playing Clarity and not Turmoil before the stairs. But I disagree with this, on two counts.

First, it is not clear to me that NMJ would in fact notice. He does not seem to be very self-aware about the effects of the sabre curse. He explicitly denies it at the stairs, for example: "I am not [in turmoil]. I know what I'm doing" (ch 49). After he burns NHS' things, when JGY asks him if he's told NHS about the sabre curse yet, NMJ asks "Why would I tell him so soon?" even though at this point he is quite clearly being affected (ch 50). And when he kicks open the door to kill JGY in chapter 50, he seems not to think about the curse at all. Of course this last is moments before he qi deviates and dies and is therefore perhaps not representative, but it fits with the general pattern; I don't believe we ever see him consider whether his anger might be because of the sabre curse, and indeed he is hardly given to questioning the righteousness of his anger in general.

Secondly, and more abstractly...WWX observing the hostile energy being suppressed—"clearly feel[ing]" it being suppressed (ch 49)—may not be /literally/ incompatible with the idea that JGY changed music after the stairs. But a story isn't just a collection of facts, and I think by far the most natural interpretation of this, in context, is that JGY is playing Clarity and not Turmoil. Which is not of course to say you can't have a resistant reading here, but I think it's generally good practice to acknowledge when your readings are resistant readings, and especially if you have a resistant reading not to say it is the only possible reading of the facts.

-JGY has no motive for playing for NMJ other than wanting him dead.

If we assume rather that he doesn't want him dead, he pretty clearly has a motive to help keep NMJ's temper under control, both on a personal level (so NMJ doesn't attack or embarrass him) and on a political level (so NMJ doesn't lose it and embarrass JGS). I would also like to note that although it was some time ago, and it seems likely that even before the stairs JGY's feelings about NMJ are not as positive as once they were, we have seen JGY go to quite heroic lengths to save NMJ's life before, when he saves him from Wen Ruohan by misdirection and assassination then drag/carries his unconscious body rather than leave him there and make good his own escape.

-The stairs and the fan burning both happen before JGY starts playing for NMJ after the stairs; NMJ wouldn't do either of those things in his right mind…

I agree; the Nie have to deal with the sabre curse. I think it's worth pointing out, too, that aside from Clarity we don't see NMJ take any measures to try to deal with the curse, either directly in addressing the curse itself, or by preventing himself from acting excessively under the influence of the curse; it shouldn't be surprising, then, that the curse can cause such drastic incidents.

-…and the sabre curse wouldn't be strong enough.

This one really confuses me as an objection, I'm going to be honest. We can be pretty sure NMJ would have qi deviated eventually, Turmoil or no. NHS says this in chapter 26:

"The sabers of our past sect leaders were all heavy with hostile energy and killing intent. Almost every single sect leader met a sudden death from a qi deviation explosion. Their irritable tempers also had a lot to do with this."

(As a side note: the missing paragraph in the ER translation right after this has I think occasionally led people to the conclusion that it is the qi deviation and such that WWX suggests is similar to demonic cultivation, as opposed to the sabres turning murderous after the deaths of their owners—you can see the Taming Wangxian and the MDZS Translation versions for the full context of the exchange.)

So NMJ was almost sure to qi deviate eventually! Moreover, he would have greatly strengthened the sabre spirit through his extensive use of Baxia during Sunshot, and after the war he continues to pursue cultivating with the sabre, without, I think, any sign of moderation. And it seems likely that he is already showing recognizable symptoms of the curse by the time JGY starts playing for him alone, as Clarity seems intended to slow the progression of the curse and also like something relatively newly introduced—they don't seem to have been doing this since Sunshot just in case, or anything. So how then could we be sure that the sabre curse on its own would be insufficient?

-NMJ wasn't at all violent before JGY started playing for him

This is simply not true. Unfortunately we don't see much of him outside of Empathy, but looking exclusively at things that happen before JGY starts playing for him:

His reputation in Sunshot is about his destroying the Wen, contrasted with LXC's which is about saving people (ch 48):

During the Sunshot Campaign, stories of praise were told about all three of the Venerated Triad. The ones of ChiFeng-Zun were about how he swept over all obstacles, leaving not even a trace of the Wen-dogs after he finished. ZeWu-Jun—Lan XiChen—however, was different from him. After the situation of the Gusu area had settled down, Lan QiRen was able to defend it with great tenacity. Thus, Lan XiChen often travelled to aid others, saving lives from danger. In all of the Sunshot Campaign, he had countless times recovered lost territory and assisted narrow escapes. This was why people were ecstatic whenever they heard his name, as though they gained a ray of hope, a powerful trump card.

The description of his reaction to seeing MY kill the Jin captain pretty strongly suggests his initial reaction was to attack MY on the spot (ch 48):

Nie MingJue saw all of the scene. Without saying a word, he unsheathed his saber by an inch. A sharp ring pierced through the air.

Hearing the familiar sound of unsheathing, Meng Yao immediately trembled. He spun around, his soul almost evaporating, “… Sect Leader Nie?”

Nie MingJue pulled all of his saber out of its sheath. The body of the sword glared brightly, yet the blade itself vaguely glinted in the red shade of blood. Wei WuXian could feel the billowing anger from him, along with emotions of disappointment and hatred.

Meng Yao knew Nie MingJue’s character more than anyone else. He dropped the sword with a clang, “Sect Leader Nie, Sect Leader Nie! Please wait, please wait! I can explain!”

Even after he's listening, he ends up grabbing MY by the collar and lifting him up (ch 48).

When he's explaining what happened with MY to LXC, he announces his intention to kill MY if he ever sees him again (ch 48), and after MY kills WRH, saving NMJ's life in doing so, and is carrying him out afterwards, he grabs his sabre from MY's hand and tries to kill MY again (ch 49). He only stops when LXC physically blocks him, and changes his mind after LXC explains that MY was in fact a spy, and I think it's worth noting that WWX believes that MY would probably have died under NMJ's attacks before LXC arrived if NMJ hadn't been heavily injured (ch 49). We're also told the brotherhood oath 3zun swear is unusually violent, in a way JGY suggests, and which LXC notably does not refute, was decided by NMJ (ch 50). Finally, while this summary of NMJ's interests is arguably from WWX's perspective, it is still notable that the only two things he's apparently interested in are "training his saberwork and killing Wen-dogs" (ch 49)—which is to say, the study of violence, and a particular and fatal application thereof.

(Totally unrelated fun fact: I was looking at the entrance to the Phoenix Mountain Hunt for this too and apparently NMJ is seventh on the young cultivators list (ch 69). The more you know!)

I want to be very clear that I am not saying that all of NMJ's violence is unreasonable or not understandable. But that it can be reasonable and understandable does not mean that it is not violent; and it is certainly not the only reaction a person could have to the events he's reacting to. Contrast LXC, as someone rather on the other end of the spectrum.

-If NMJ were violent, JGY wouldn't risk his life killing him via Turmoil (and therefore NMJ must not be violent)

Even aside from the extensive textual evidence for NMJ's violence, I don't think this holds together. As shown above, I think it's quite clear that NMJ was in fact always a violent man, but there is absolutely no question that he's violent to JGY in his last months of life, and if you think JGY started playing Turmoil for NMJ before the stairs, then it's really extremely clear that JGY was willing to risk NMJ's violence in killing him! I think the clash between JGY's desire to live and the evident risk to his life from killing NMJ with Turmoil actually supports the position I am arguing here. Assuming we are agreed that JGY is attached to his own life, and as it's clear that as NMJ approached his end he was a danger to JGY (regardless of how that end was induced!), why was JGY playing him Turmoil?

I think the stairs make it clear to JGY that his life is not safe while NMJ is still alive. Using Turmoil, therefore, becomes a gamble he is willing to take, though still an enormously risky one: on the one hand, it appeases his father and enables him to promise NMJ he can do whatever he likes with JGY if he doesn't kill XY in two months (ch 50), a promise he obviously and understandably has no intention of keeping. But on the other hand, if NMJ doesn't die within the two months, he probably will simply kill JGY—and more than that, given his focus on JGY, he may kill JGY anyway, for some much more trivial reason. Indeed, this is exactly what almost happens just before NMJ's death, when he kicks open a door and attempts to kill JGY on the spot because JGY was complaining to LXC about NMJ's treatment of him; if LXC hadn't blocked NMJ's sabre, JGY would almost certainly have died (ch 50). But as risky as this gamble is, it is still a better bet than waiting around and hoping LXC always saves him when NMJ tries to kill him—especially taking into account the risk from his father should he do so.

-The stairs incident was good for JGY and bad for NMJ, which is evidence that JGY arranged it on purpose

...I have a lot of things to say about this position. None of them are very nice. However, as I am in fact trying to argue in good faith, I will attempt to address it as an argument.

I think this comes from a confusion of the fandom reaction to the stairs with the in-universe reaction to it. To people now, yes, looking at this makes NMJ look bad, and inspires sympathy for JGY. In-universe, however—when NMJ publically assaults JGY and tries to kill him, when he calls him Meng Yao, when he shouts he's the son of a prostitute, it's not /NMJ/ who looks bad. NMJ of course is righteous in his anger; really he's only putting that boy in his place, don't you think? I knew Chifeng-zun didn't really accept him. Etcetera. It /weakens/ JGY's position, because the cultivation world does not have the same beliefs and priorities and value judgements that we do!

Certainly if he'd actually managed to kill JGY he would suddenly have found that he had killed JGS's beloved son, the only remaining son of the Jin, a war hero, his own sworn brother who had saved NMJ's life etc etc etc. But only because then there would have been political advantage in it for JGS, and quite substantial political advantage too, and he wouldn't have to deal with JGY being around anymore. As it stands, all NMJ's actions at the stairs do for JGY is tell the world that he is vulnerable and weak and disgusting. The only significant person in-world who would find JGY more sympathetic after this incident is LXC, and frankly a) he is already deeply in sympathy with JGY and b) we don't see JGY playing it up—after LXC's appearance at the stairs rather he minimizes and soothes things, and even when we overhear his complaints to LXC around two months later he is talking about what NMJ thinks of him, and not the physical danger NMJ poses.

I will also observe that while JGY does end up losing his temper, he starts off soothing even through NMJ's first attempted assault, and only loses it after NMJ calls him Meng Yao and says "your whole thing stopped working on me since a long time ago" in front of everyone; this attempted conciliation seems an odd thing to do were he in fact trying to manipulate NMJ into assaulting him, trying to kill him, embarrassing him and weakening his position in public. You could argue that NMJ would be more angered by JGY's attempts to be soothing than he would by JGY's directness, and thus the soothing could be read as provocative, but this simply isn't backed up by the text; while NMJ was obviously already angry before JGY lost his temper, he nevertheless escalates significantly after JGY talks back.

Moreover...I think what NMJ actually does and tries to do at the stairs, in terms of violence, is sometimes not fully grasped.

The first thing he does once they're properly outside is try to hit JGY, though fortunately JGY manages to dodge. When NMJ kicks him down the stairs, even aside from calling JGY the son of a prostitute, JGY ends up rolling down more than fifty steps and acquiring a head wound—/another/ head wound, because he already had one, apparently from the physical abuse he receives at Jinlintai from Madam Jin. And finally, NMJ actually /unsheathes his sabre/ and, after LXC approaches, announces his intention to kill JGY:

Lan XiChen, “Brother, sheath your saber first—your mind is in turmoil!”

Nie MingJue, “I am not. I know what I’m doing. He’s beyond hope. If these keeps on going, he’ll do the world harm for sure. The earlier he’s killed, the earlier we can relax!”

(ch 49)

When I say that NMJ almost killed JGY at the stairs, I am not just talking about kicking him down the stairs, although that certainly could have killed JGY. I am talking about drawing his sabre on JGY with the intention of killing him. JGY would very likely have died if LXC hadn't thought they were taking too long and come to see.

JGY can certainly take enormous risks when it's necessary—but for a risk like this he would have to be gaining something extremely significant, and I remain unconvinced he was gaining anything at all, let alone anything worth the cost.

-NMJ's actions at the stairs and his burning NHS' things are completely unrelated to any of his previous actions and motivations.

In fact, although they're certainly both significant escalations, I think that in both cases NMJ's motivations and actions draw extensively from preceding characterization.

Consider the stairs. The direct classism is certainly new, but there are several other elements that have already been established as part of NMJ's characterization: the tendency to violence, the investment in JGY behaving correctly even while ignoring incorrect behaviour around him, the approach to justice both in his particular and frequently-retributive idea of it and in his commitment to that idea, and a failure to understand the realities of JGY's position.

The violence I discussed above, and the failure to understand JGY's position has I think been discussed sufficiently elsewhere and besides would be a full post in its own right. As to NMJ's approach to justice, you can see both idea and commitment to it in his anger to the men speaking badly of MY (ch 48) and his appreciation and promotion of MY for his accomplishments (ch 48); his initial intention to kill MY after he catches him killing the Jin captain (ch 48), his subsequent insistence that MY turn himself in to the Jin (ch 48) and his intention to kill MY for his betrayal after MY tricks him and escapes (ch 48); his initial insistence that MY should pay for killing the Nie cultivators, even as he acknowledges that MY saved his life and says he will kill himself after he kills MY (ch 49); and of course in his insistence that WQ and WN should pay for their complicity with WRH, even in the face of LXC and JC's defense of them (ch 73). And in describing LWJ as "absolutely [unable to] stand wrongdoings, possibly even more than Nie HuaiSang’s brother" (ch 30), WWX implies a great deal about the extent of NMJ's inability to stand wrongdoings. Of course, not all of these instances involve NMJ seeking violent retribution as justice, but a significant portion do—about half—and it is certainly a recurring theme. This approach to justice, I should add, is certainly involved in attempting to punish JGY for his misdeeds by killing him, but it is also part of why he is so upset in the first place: in NMJ's view of things, holding XY in prison instead of executing him for his crimes is failing to see justice properly done.

The investment in JGY behaving correctly, even while caring less about the behaviour of other people around him doing the same, is likewise an established character note. WWX concludes that NMJ's desire to guide JGY is one of the main reasons he agrees to the brotherhood (ch 49); we see his disapproval of JGY associating with XY, who already has something of a bad reputation, at the Flower Banquet (ch 49); at the conference after WWX rescues the Wen, when JGY backs up his father's lie about what WWX said about JC, NMJ seems to mark it more heavily than JGS' initial lie (ch 73). And then, of course, there is this, from the scene just before JGY starts playing for NMJ (ch 49):

In reality, it wasn’t that Jin GuangYao could calm Nie MingJue’s anger, but that since Jin GuangYao came, all of Nie MingJue’s anger would be directed at him alone, having no time to scold others. Thus, there was nothing wrong with saying that he was Nie HuaiSang’s knight in shining armor.

While NMJ's actions at the stairs are certainly not something he'd have done without the sabre curse, and again the direct classism is new, it nevertheless very much ties in to his preexisting characterization.

What about the burning of NHS' things? Again, many elements of the situation derive from NMJ's preexisting characterization; in this case, his tendency to release his anger on physical objects, his desire for NHS to be a strong cultivator and his angry displeasure with NHS' actual interests and capabilities, and his threatening to burn NHS' things.

Although prior to the burning of NHS' things it seems to be usually a momentary lashing out, NMJ definitely has a history of releasing his anger on physical objects. When he is annoyed at the men speaking badly about MY, he knocks down (or carves up? the English is unclear) a boulder at the front of the cave (ch 48); when he decides not to kill MY after LXC explains MY was their spy, he carves a boulder in half (ch 49); and he cracks the top of a table by bringing his palm down on it in the scene just before JGY starts playing for him (ch 49).

As to NMJ's desire for his brother to focus on and do well at cultivation, and his displeasure at NHS' actual areas of focus, this is perhaps one of his most consistent beats of characterization. We see it in our introduction to NHS at the Cloud Recesses lectures (ch 13); in NHS' plea for WWX's help with the test (ch 14); in LXC's message to NHS from NMJ and NHS' reason for staying in CR instead of going to Caiyi Town (ch 16); in WWX's reminiscences about NHS after discussing the "Man-Eating Ridge" with the "know-it-all of Qinghe" (ch 21); in NMJ and LXC's discussion when NMJ brings LXC NHS' sabre during in Sunshot (ch 48); and of course in the scene just before JGY starts playing for NMJ, both in his initial anger at NHS' preoccupation with the fans and uncertainty about his sabre's location, and in his dismissal of NHS as a "good-for-nothing" even after his temper had faded (ch 49).

The threatening to burn NHS' things, on the other hand, I believe we only see once, and really in the form of "instructing NHS to burn certain specific things of his"; but it is in the very scene before JGY starts playing for NMJ, as NMJ tells NHS to burn the fans he has just been going over tenderly before JGY interrupts (ch 49).

Indeed, I think that scene in general is very much worth a look here, for what it has and for what it doesn't. On the one hand, we do see NHS' fear of NMJ—he literally falls to his knees in terror, and stutters even after getting up! But he also seems fairly comfortable after the worst of NMJ's anger passes, and when NMJ sends him off he goes not to his room as instructed, but to the living room for the gifts JGY has brought him. Yet many of the elements of NMJ's later destruction of NHS' things are present here, and to my mind one of the most important things about the scene is its illustration of what prevents NMJ from carrying out the threats he made in his anger. It's not that he's convinced he's being unreasonable—indeed, he doesn't seem to consciously change his mind at all. Instead it is simply that repeated interruptions and NHS's ridiculous appearance as he greets JGY end up draining his temper, and with his temper drained he no longer pursues punishing NHS. But this has obvious implications for what might happen if NMJ's anger did not diminish, and I think it's quite clear how the behaviour NMJ exhibits in this scene could lead to NMJ burning NHS' things simply by giving him a more sustained burst of temper, even as it is not something NHS ever expected to happen, or something that would happen had NMJ's temper not been worsened by the sabre curse.

To conclude this section—while NMJ's actions at the stairs and in burning NHS' things are certainly unprecedented in themselves, they are nevertheless solidly rooted in NMJ's preexisting characterization, and it's easy to see how the sabre curse could lead to these extreme escalations.

To conclude the post, I think the direct evidence is quite clear that JGY was playing Clarity before the stairs, and I think the indirect evidence also significantly supports it; nor am I convinced by various objections I have seen, for reasons I hope I have conveyed.

#more than one tag could contain #anger burned in his heart #we can't change places #long meta #and thank you very much to confusion-and-more for looking it over + their extremely helpful suggestions and revisions #this post would not be the same without them

136 notes · View notes

chaoticminhos · 5 years ago

Text

priceless

priceless; adjective; so precious that its value cannot be determined.

pairing: bang chan x reader

genre: angst, fluff, enemies to lovers, rich kid! bang chan au

warnings: none, lowkey sugar daddy channie but nothing is sexual

word count: 14.3k (oh my god)

a/n: this is a super long one, i’m sorry! i got a bit carried away

christopher bang. chris. bang chan. he was a boy with the whole world at his fingertips, diligent and hardworking. the kind of boy you could bring home and your mother would adore him. your father couldn’t dream of a better boy to date his daughter.

at least, that’s how everyone else would describe him. but you? no, to you, he was nothing but an arrogant asshole.

he flaunted the trophies and medals he won from swimming like they made him the most important man alive. he never missed a chance to point out that he was top of the class, even with being in sports. he could handle it all, such a balanced and sturdy young man, all of his teachers said.

people called him modest, but you couldn’t see it. not even a peak coming out from under the obnoxious fancy shirts he wore to school every day just to show that he had enough money to own that many different name brand clothes. your school didn’t even have a strict dress code, who the hell in their right mind would wear button up and dress pants in place of hoodies and sweats? a fucking prick who needs to prove in every way possible that he is better than everyone else, that’s who. he was mister fucking perfect and he never, not for one second, let you forget that.

you begrudgingly stepped into your first hour class and made your way to your assigned seat, groaning at the fact that in just a few minutes, the school bell would ring and you’d be forced to sit right next to chan for the whole 45 minutes the class lasted.

honestly, you thought your teacher was fucking insane for placing you and chris next to each other. and in a corner spot, no less! chris was pinned in between you and the wall, the only person other than you in direct line of contact for him being the two seated ahead of you. but that didn’t stop chan, no, he yelled over you to his friends as if you weren’t even there and it pissed you off. you’d offered to swap seats so you wouldn’t have to deal with his yelling over you, but he denied, saying that he didn’t want to get in trouble with the teacher.

“they’re assigned seats, y/n,” he’d said, “the whole point is we can’t just swap.”

students filtered in and, per usual, chan was one of the last to enter. he was almost always just on the edge of being late to the first hour, him and his friend hyunjin. they had before school swim practice and apparently it would kill their coach to let them off 10 minutes earlier so they wouldn’t be late to class. it didn’t matter though, the teacher waited for them every day. god forbid golden boys chris and hyunjin miss the first minute of class.

chan walked behind you to his seat, bumping into the back of your chair as he passed. asshole. there was plenty of room for him to get past you easily, he didn’t need to shove your chair.

the teacher began class just as chan plopped his bag onto your shared table, the straps from it falling across your notebook on your side of the table.

you brushed them off, pushing his bag further away from you. he sent you a look and threw his hands up in the air like you’d just ruined his bag.

“what’s your problem today?”

you looked up at him, breath slightly catching at his damp hair. he showed up to class like this every single day, with his hair pressed to his forehead and his shirt pressed close to his body, still damp from the pool and showering off, but that didn’t change the fact that every single day, he still took your breath away.

as much as you hated him, he was strikingly attractive. it’s a shame that people can’t have both good looks and a good personality.

you put a forced smile on your face, “same as always, bang. you.”

your argument was cut short by your teacher sending a small glare towards you, a silent order to be quiet.

that’s another thing that pissed you off. he had started the conversation, but you were always the one who got in trouble for talking. not once did the teacher scold him for talking in class, only you.

“you’ll be working with your table partners today--“

you didn’t even bother to listen to the rest, groaning and putting your head in your arms on the desk. you had requested not to always be partners with your desk mate, stating that you and chan didn’t get along that well, but your teacher insisted.

“chris is a wonderful person to be partnered with, y/n.”

and of course chan wouldn’t back you up on the request of different partners. he didn’t want to be your partner in everything, god no, but it simply wouldn’t look good for him if he complained about another student.

you looked back up when chan snapped his fingers right next to your ear, causing you to jolt up and send a glare at him. he pointed to the paper that your teacher had placed on your desk.

“we’re supposed to brainstorm together.”

“can’t we just do it separately and say we talked the questions through?”

he put a fake pout on his face, “you don’t wanna share your ideas with me?”

a grin spread across his face as your jaw clenched in frustration.

“i don’t want to interact with you, period.”

“i'm just as excited as you are--“

he was cut off by the sound of your stomach growling. you groaned, you hadn’t had time to get dinner yesterday and you couldn’t afford to buy breakfast this morning.

“someone’s hungry.”

“i didn’t have breakfast.”

“why, slept in?”

“couldn’t afford it.” you mumbled, not thinking much of your words, just letting them fall from your lips.

he laughed lightly, “couldn’t afford breakfast?”

your eyes slowly lifted from the paper to his face, casual mood from just seconds before long gone.

“not everyone was born on a pile of money, chan.”

“sorry, it was just a question.”

it wasn’t even 9 am and you already wanted to rip his head off.

“fucking forget about it, let’s just get this done so you can fuck off.”

he nodded in agreement, pressing his lips tightly together to bite back a response before reading out the first question before stating his opinions on the matter.

he didn’t bother you much more for the rest of the class period, just focusing on the work ahead of you two. he didn’t bring the breakfast issue up again, which honestly surprised you. it had obviously gotten a rise from you, you expected him to milk that for as long as possible.

you didn’t see him again until lunch, where your eyes were glued to the back of his head as you angrily went over the start of your day to your best friends.

“he fucking made fun of me for not having money.”

“he’s such a prick.” sooyeon said through a mouthful of chips, turning to show one of her friends something on her phone. she wasn’t really listening. she never did when it came to you complaining about chan.

sooyeon was your best friend along with jisung, but she has lots of friends other than the two of you. she was an easy person to be around, you understood why everyone liked her:

“i agree,” jisung said as he sat himself down next to you, “i don’t get why you’re so obsessed with him when i’m literally right here.”

you hit his arm, causing his tray to shake as he set it on the table, some of the chocolate pudding falling onto the table.

“i am not obsessed with him, jisung! it’s just hard not to think about him so much when he makes it a point to be a cock every single fucking time we interact.”

jisung ignored your reply, scooping up the pudding you caused him to spill and plopping it onto an empty place on your tray.

you moved to shove him again, but he instinctively reached his hands to your arms to stop you, coating your sleeve with the pudding that he had yet to clean off of his hand.

“jisung!” you shouted, unable to keep a smile from breaking out on your face. there was no real reason to be mad, it would wash out, but you wanted to give him a hard time for it anyway.

“you ruined my favorite sweatshirt!”

you grabbed his wrist, pressing his still dirty hand against the chest of his own hoodie, giving it a stain to match the one on your arm.

“what the fuck?” he called through a loud laugh.

“it’s payback, you dickhead.”

he wiped his hand off on a napkin before standing up and motioning for you to do the same. he packed the apple and chips from his lunch into his bag for later tossed out the rest.

“you are so lucky i have extra clothes in my gym locker.”

you followed him as he started through the cafeteria, “i’m lucky? you’re the one who got pudding on me first!”

“i don’t recall that ever happening. obviously it got on you when you were brutally attacking me.”

you hit him again, laughing as he led you out of the food court and to the gyms.

you hadn’t realized, but you’d walked right past chan and his friends as you were leaving. he observed the interaction between you and jisung and let out a nose laugh at the childishness of it.

he got up and tossed his tray. he’d heard jisung mention the locker room and it reminded him he needed to grab his math textbook from there, he’d left it there after practice that morning.

chan expected you to be in the girls locker room changing or waiting outside of the boys locker room for jisung to bring you a clean shirt, so he thought nothing of stepping into the locker room himself. what he did not expect was to be met face to face with you as you slipped one of jisungs hoodies over your head, chans eyes barely catching the bottom of your bra as you pulled the cloth down.

jisung was still shirtless, digging through his locker for a shirt that didn’t have pudding on it and didn’t smell distinctly of sweaty boy. he looked up upon hearing the door open, nodding to chan as he entered.

he didn’t acknowledge jisung, instead keeping his attention on you.

“you do know this is the boys locker room, right?”

your eyes widened in mock surprise, “really? i thought this was the music department. no wonder there’s no piano.”

he huffed as he walked past you and to his own locker where his book was sat on the bench beside it.

“why are you in here, anyway?” he continued.

“jisung is a dumbass.”

the boy in question turned to you as he slipped his own sweatshirt over his head, “you’re being quite an asshole to me considering i just gave you the one actually clean sweatshirt i had on hand.”

“maybe if you hadn’t gotten pudding on the one i was wearing i wouldn’t need to steal yours.”

chan cut in, “don’t you have your own clothes to change into?”

jisung responded for you, “she doesn’t have gym.”

chan nodded, “not surprised by that.”

he’d mumbled it, but you heard. first he’d made fun of your economic status, now he was going to take a jab at your body?

“what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

you took a step towards him and he put his hands up in defense, “you don’t seem like the sporty type.”

your eyes narrowed and he seemed to get what you had been thinking.

“no, oh my god! i’m not that low.”

you scoffed, “but you’re low enough to tease someone for being poor? come on jisung.”

you bundled your dirty sweatshirt into your arms and swung your bag over your shoulder before leaving the locker room with jisung hot on your trail.

when you entered your first class the next day, you were met with a plastic wrapped muffin sitting on the table of your spot.

you figured someone had forgotten it there from the day before and no one had noticed to move it. you inspected the wrapper, it was still fully sealed. deciding whoever left it there probably forgot about it and remembering you hadn’t been able to get breakfast that morning either, you unwrapped the muffin and took a bite.

and damn, muffins hit different when they’re the first thing you’ve eaten since dinner time the night before.

you were about halfway done with the tasty treat when chan found his way to his spot beside you. he was wearing a plain white button up that day. water droplets from his hair had fallen onto his shoulder and collar, making small see through patches across his collar bones. you caught yourself staring before he did, thankfully.

he pointed to the muffin in your hand, “you got yourself breakfast this morning.”

you nodded, providing no verbal response, just taking another bite of the muffin.

the bell rang and the teacher clapped to get the classes attention, stating that you’d be continuing the discussion activity you and your partner had started the day before.

you looked over to chan with wide eyes. it was supposed to take two days? the two of you had gone through most of the questions the day before.

“did we miss something?” he started, reaching across the table to drag your paper closer to him so he could see it. you sighed, he had his own sheet. it would have taken literally five seconds for him to get his own instead of hijacking yours.

“i think my brain is just too good for her assignments.” you shrugged as you took the final bite of your muffin, crumpling the wrapper in your hand.

“your brain? please,” he leaned back in his chair, turning his body towards you, “i’m obviously the powerhouse of this duo.”

you raised your eyebrows with a smile, “then what am i? the hot eye candy?”

he pretended to think for a moment, “no, i think that one's me too...”

your smile grew, the words were teasing but not in a bad way. you could not believe you were having a civil conversation with bang chan, let alone an almost friendly argument.

you tossed the rolled up muffin wrapper at him, hitting him right in the cheek. he scrunched his nose, “you’re fucking terrible.”

the words weren’t anything different from what you would expect him to say to you, but the tone was lighter than usual. almost playful. still, they seemed to snap you into reality. bang chan was not your friend.

you reached to the paper he’d taken from you and glanced at the last few questions, pointing to the next in line and reading it aloud.

“is it unethical for heinz to steal the pills for his dying wife?” (look up the heinz moral debate if you don’t know what i’m referring to)

he thought for a moment before responding.

“no.”

“why?” you prompted him to continue.

“it says he tried every ethical and legal way, he has no other choice. he doesn’t have the money to pay for the pills, stealing is the only option he has left.”

you nodded, making a slightly surprised face.

“what?”

“nothing. i just took you for the kind of person to be all, i don’t know, fuck the poor.”

you scanned his face and he looked almost offended at your remark.

“of course not, everyone deserves the same opportunities when it comes to things like this.”

the rest of the hour went the same, pleasant way. you had to keep reminding yourself every couple of minutes that he was not your friend. he was being oddly pleasant to be around that day, but he was still an arrogant prick.

you were met with another muffin on your spot the next morning. and the morning after that. and the one after that, too. and the next one, and so on. it became clear to you within the first few days that it couldn’t be a coincidence, someone was leaving muffins there for you every morning. you found it kinda weird at first, considering you couldn’t think of who could be doing it. if it was jisung or sooyeon they would just hand it to you, they wouldn’t go through the trouble of sneaking into the ethics classroom before school started to put a muffin on your spot. neither of them even got to the school in time to do that. but after a while, you just accepted it. you appreciated the little snack every morning, it gave you something to go to school for and it assured you that you’d be able to eat something, even if you were short on money.

after a while, you stopped finding it weird and started to find it cute and endearing.

jisung and sooyeon were convinced it was a secret admirer, that someone had a crush on you and didn’t know how to show it. you didn’t believe that idea, no one even knew you even existed other than the two of them and a couple other friends. still, you honestly couldn’t think of another reason.

either way, it changed your first period class from being something to dread because of the boy seated next to you into something to look forward to. that, and chris had been more bearable. he was still an obnoxious asshole and he didn’t deserve half of the positive attention he constantly had, but not every conversation with him was full of angry words and snappy remarks anymore. you were starting to realize that maybe some of the things he did weren’t really mean or annoying and it was just you finding different excuses to be mad at him, but you’d never admit that out loud.

you still didn’t call him a friend, and he didn’t call you one either. he would probably be embarrassed to call someone like you his friend. he still annoyed the living hell out of you, but you couldn’t make yourself have an undying hatred for him anymore. just a strong disliking.

but he was not your friend. he was still the same dickhead he had been the whole time you’d been in school with him. he wasn’t a nice person.

you still didn’t like him.

you seemed to repeat that to yourself quite a lot.

you smiled as you picked up the muffin from the table, you’d lost count of how many had been left for you by now. you unwrapped it and started eating, you’d stopped checking the wrappers for holes after the first few. it was silly, but you trusted whoever was leaving them for you.

hyunjin and chan walked into the room just as the bell went off. chan was laughing at something hyunjin said, his dimples showing. they’re something you’d grew to really like about him. you didn’t even know he had dimples before, he never smiled at you up until a couple weeks ago.

the teacher waited for them to reach their spots before beginning the lecture, talking for a while about something or another. you didn’t really pay attention, zoning out as you finished your muffin and tossed the wrapper at chan like you’d made a habit of doing with every wrapper you had.

it was funny, you thought. every single day, even though he complained about it, he would pick up the wrapper from wherever it landed and deliver it to the trash himself. he tried to make you do it originally, but you refused.

“you’ll be working with the same partner you’ve had all semester. i have rubrics up here if anyone wants a paper copy.”

you tuned in to the last bit of what your teacher said, catching on that she was assigning another partner project, and your partner would be the same as always- chan.

both of you pulled out your laptops and pulled up the work. neither of you complained about always being partners anymore, the same argument over and over again did no one good. plus, it’s not like he was the worst partner to have. because of his position as golden boy, he always did good on his work, assuring you that you’d have a partner that would do their share.

the project consisted of you drawing a topic from a hat the teacher passed around and finding the other group with that topic. you would be debating against that group on whatever topic you and chan had drawn.

chan let you be the one to draw from the hat and you drew ‘the morality of euthanasia (anti)’

you laughed at it, “kill the old, eat the rich.”

chan raised an eyebrow at you, laughing at your response.

“we’re supposed to be against it. don’t kill the old, no eating the rich.”

“you’re just saying that because you don’t want to be eaten.”

“oh, you got me. i don’t want to be cannibalized, how dare i.”

you were paired to debate against two boys, kim seungmin and lee felix. they were chans friends. they didn’t swim with him, but they sat with him at lunch and hung out with him a lot, you’d saw them around him enough to get that.

you spent the rest of the period doing general research on the topic. it wasn’t biased, so you were able to work with seungmin and felix on it, too. they were actually pretty fun to be around. you expected them to be stuck up and bratty like chan, but they weren’t. seungmin was really sweet and felix was super funny.

“i’m telling you, eat the rich.” felix spoke.

“that’s what i’ve been saying!” you called out, reaching your hand out to give him a high five.

“felix, you’re literally rich.” chan pointed out.

“no, channie, my parents are rich. i am simply living off of their rich people money.”

you checked the clock, realizing class would be ending in a few minutes. you packed your things back into your bag before turning to chan.

“she said we’d need to work outside of class. does the library after school work?”

he sharply inhaled, “i have practice and by the time it’s over the library will be closed. if you’re okay with waiting we can go to my house after practice?”

you were slightly taken aback by the request.

“uh, sure.”

“you can watch practice if you want, or even just sit in the pool room doing homework or playing on your phone or something and then i can give you a lift to my place.”

that solved the issue of finding a ride there and you figured he couldn’t live too far, you’d be able to walk home, so you agreed.

the last bell rang and you lifted yourself from your chair and headed to the hallway, meeting jisung and sooyeon by their lockers.

jisung raised his keys, “ready to go?”

“actually, i’m staying to work on a project with chan, i forgot to tell you.”

“you’re getting awfully close with him recently.” sooyeon teased, wiggling her eyebrows.

you would have hushed her just as you did every time she even dared to mention you and chan becoming closer, but jisung cut you off.

“here?”

“no, at his house.”

“do you have a ride there and home?”

“yeah,” you started, “he’s driving me there and i can just walk home.”

“walk?” jisung frowned, “how far away is his place from yours?”

you shrugged, “can’t be that far.”

he shook his head, “not happening. text me his address and i’ll take you home when you’re done.”

there was no point in arguing with him. he got super protective over you and sooyeon when it came to stuff like this. he said it wasn’t safe for you to walk home alone, that’s the whole reason he drove you and sooyeon home every day.

you barely had time to promise jisung you’d let him drive you home before someone was calling your name from down the hallway.

“y/n! chan said you’re watching practice?”

you looked at the source of the voice, hwang hyunjin. since when did he talk to you? or even know your name?

“yeah,” you replied, “i’m coming.”

you waved goodbye to your friends before jogging to meet hyunjin at the end of the hallway, letting him lead you to the practice rooms. you’d been in them before, you went to a fair share of sports games and meets, but it felt weird being in it with it so empty, especially alone with a boy you’d barely ever talked to. he noticed the tension.

“sorry, i’m hyunjin. chan’s been mentioning you a lot lately so i figured i should make myself present.”

“oh,” you laughed, “it’s not a big deal. we aren’t really close or anything.”

hyunjin raised his eyebrows and a smirk played at his lips, “so you’re not dating or anything like that?”

your face flushed red, “god, no. i don’t have a boyfriend.”

his smile grew, “good to know.”

your face grew even more red as the door to the locker room opened and chan stepped out.

“stop flirting with y/n and go get changed.”

hyunjin turned to him, “you seem to have forgotten that i am the captain of this team and i do not take orders from you.”

he punctuated the last word with a finger to chans chest as he passed him and entered the room to get ready for practice.

“how’d you know he was flirting?” you laughed.

“it’s all he does.”

chan stepping closer to you in his shirtless form did nothing for your blushed face. he was actually in more than he would be during meets, considering it was just a practice so he was allowed to wear swim trunks, but it was still a lot more of him, or any boy for that matter, than you were used to seeing.

to your dismay, he noticed how your eyes avoided him as he stepped closer to you.

“what, not used to shirtless boys?” he teased.

“unless it’s jisung, no.” you replied, eyes trained on the pool behind him.

he raised an eyebrow, “i thought you said you two weren’t a thing?”

“we’re not. he just has stupid high body heat and strips randomly in the middle of movie nights.”

he nodded, taking a step closer to you.

“you’re so flustered when it’s just me out here, are you gonna be able to handle the whole team?”

you stepped back, “i’ve watched swim meets before chan, it’s fine. it’s just weird because we’re alone right now.”

as if on cue, the door swung open and the boys streamed out of the locker room, hyunjin last. you didn’t really recognize anyone on the team but chan and hyunjin. they made their way to the edge of the pool and chan jogged to join them, pointing at the stands near the pool for you to sit down at.

the boys started to warm up and a small crowd of girls built up on the bleachers around you. none of them seemed to notice you until the coach entered and scanned the small crowd.

“you’re new a new addition.” he pointed out.

you were gonna reply that you were just there for the one day when chan cut in for you with a smile on his face, “i invited her, coach.”

the coach looked in between you and chan with a small smile.

“oh, you did?”

you didn’t know what it meant but his words had been laced with a teasing tone and it made yours cheeks heat up. did it matter that chan had invited you and you hadn’t just randomly showed up?

apparently it did. you got a tap on your shoulder and you turned around to face the person who did it.

“did chan really invite you specifically to watch?”

“i mean, yeah.” you began, “i’m going to his place after so he said i could just wait here.”

her eyes widened, “he invited you to his house?”

you grimaced, this was drawing more attention than you wanted, “it’s nothing like that, we have a project to work on.”

she hummed and nodded, focusing her attention back on the boys.

you thought you’d get bored during the practice and end up scrolling through your phone, but you didn’t. something about the way they moved so fluidly and easily in the water was captivating to watch. your eyes kept mostly to chan, but they drifted to hyunjin a lot, too. watching him, you understood why he was captain. he had such control of his body even under the pressure of the water, it was like it was moving according to what he willed it to.

practice ended and all of the boys jumped out of the pool and grabbed a towel, heading straight for the locker room. everyone but chan. he dried his hair off before slinging the towel around his neck and over his shoulders and walking up to where you were sitting at the bleachers. he leaned against the cold metal as he spoke to you.

“i just need to shower quick and get changed then we can go. i won’t be long.”

you nodded and gave him a soft smile. most of the girls who’d came to watch the boys swim had left already, but the few who hadn’t began whispering after seeing your and chans interaction.

you didn’t know why it was such a big deal, you were his partner for a project.

high school dynamics always confused you.

after a few minutes of mindlessly scrolling through your phone, chan pushed the door open and stepped out, calling to you to follow him out. he lead you through the school and outside to the parking lot. it didn’t take much for you to find his car, you guessed it was one of the few that looked like they cost more than you were worth. no doubt the other ones belonged to his friends.

to say you were surprised when he jogged ahead of you to open the passenger side door for you would be an understatement. he really had changed a lot from a couple weeks before. or maybe you just started seeing things differently.

he frowned slightly at your confused face as you approached the car.

“what?”

“i didn’t take you for the gentleman type.”

“how would you know? you’ve never gone out with me before.”

you shrugged, he had a point.

he slipped into the driver seat and put the key in the ignition. the startup was so quiet you wouldn’t have even known it was turned on if he hadn’t shifted gears and started to drive. you were so used to clunky old cars like the one your family had or the one jisung drove around in.

speak of the devil, your phone lit up with a message from jisung.

sungie🤢💗: at his place yet?

you: headed there now

sungie🤢💗: address ??

you: one sec

you lifted your eyes from your screen to look at chan, “hey, what’s your address?”

he looked confused, “why?”

“jisungs gonna pick me up when we’re done.”

he glanced at you before training his eyes back onto the road, “no he’s not, i’ll take you home.”

“sung already said he could.”

“i thought it was a given that i’d give you a ride home since i was the one to invite you out?”

you laughed, “since when is that an unspoken rule?”

he shrugged, “it’s just good manners.”

you leaned back into the seat, sending jisung a message than chan was giving you a ride home.

who knew bang chan even knew what good manners were.

you were right about his house not being far, he was pulling his fancy car into the fancy driveway of his fancy house within just a few minutes.

although you knew it was normal life for him, you were amazed that he could step into such a pretty house so casually. you felt like if you touched anything, it would shatter.

he slipped off his shoes at the door and you did the same, following him up a large set of stairs and into what you assumed was his bedroom.

you’d expected it to be neat, but it was the exact opposite, clothes tossed randomly on the floor and open chip bags laying around. you laughed at the condition of his room and he pouted as he hurried to try to clean up some of the mess.

“don’t make fun of me, i didn’t expect company.”

“who knew that you, bang chan, were so messy.”

“i’m a high school boy, what did you expect?”

“yeah, but you’re also the pride of the school.”

he huffed, plopping down onto his bed after deciding cleaning was no use, “i’m still just a kid.”

you sat yourself down next to him, pulling your laptop from your bag and opening it. you were immediately faced with the issue of not having wifi connection.

“chan, what’s your wifi password?”

“it’s super long,” he mumbled as he reached across your lap and took the device from your hands, “i’ll just type it for you.”

you didn’t have the time to scold him for just taking it from you, you were too busy trying to convince yourself that you did not feel butterflies in your stomach when he had gotten that close to you.

you just weren’t used to boys other than jisung being so casual around you, that’s all.

he handed your laptop back to you and rose to his feet, getting up and doing something behind you for a few seconds. you didn’t pay attention, already getting to work on research.

a few seconds later, you felt the bed dip beside you and chan was pulling his legs onto the bed and sitting with them crossed and his own laptop in his lap, his loose button up he’d worn all day now replaced with a plain black t-shirt.

your face flushed red when you realized he’d just changed his shirt with you in the room, not that it was a big deal. he was a swimmer and he was used to people seeing him shirtless, it didn’t mean anything to him, but it was still odd for you.

the two of you worked in silence for about an hour before he fell onto his back, closing his laptop and tossing it onto the bed beside him.

you let out a small laugh, “what?”

“it’s boring.” he groaned, “let’s get food.”

it didn’t take much for him to convince you to ditch schoolwork and get food instead. he led you back down the stairs and into a kitchen that you swore was bigger than your whole house, opening the fridge door and leaning down to look at its contents.

he shut the door and let out an obnoxious groan, “i don’t want any of this,” his eyes locked with your and a grin appeared on his face, “let’s go somewhere for food.”

you gave a skeptical look before a small smile took over your features, “okay.”

he walked up to his room with you and you grabbed your bag before the two of you slipped your shoes on and you hopped back into his car, him rushing ahead to open the door for you once again.

you buckled your seat belt, “where are we going?”

he shrugged, “what are you hungry for?”

“you’re the one who wanted to go out for food.”

“and now i’m asking you to choose.”

you huffed, “i don’t know, anywhere.”

he hummed and nodded his head, “the diner a couple blocks down from the school?”

you perked up at the suggestion, that was your favorite place to eat.

“oh my god, please.”

he laughed at your reaction, pulling the car from his driveway and starting the route to the small diner. as the building came into view, you wondered why chan even knew about this place. he could afford so many more fancy restaurants.

he held the door open and you stepped into the small place with a smile on your face, you hadn’t been able to come here for a while.

chris let you choose where to sit before grabbing a menu from the stack on the table and shoving it in your direction.

“get whatever you want, i’m paying.”

you tried to object, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. honestly, you didn’t fight too hard, either. it saved you from the trouble of finding the money to pay for it.

you still didn’t want to make him spend a bunch on you, so you decided to just repeat the name of whatever he ordered to make sure you didn’t get anything too expensive.

he ended up asking for a classic, just chicken strips and fries. you silently thanked him for ordering your favorite meal, repeating the same thing when the waitress asked what you wanted.

“would you like any sauce with that?”

you nodded politely, “barbecue, please.”

chan scrunched his nose and made a sound of disgust across the table, “barbecue is gross.”

you tried to hold down a smile as you glared at him, “says the one who ordered ranch! who the fuck eats ranch with chicken?”

“i do.” the waitress giggled, and you jumped. you’d kinda forgotten she was still there.

“oh, i’m sorry!”

she laughed, “it’s okay. what can i get for drinks?”

“i’ll take a chocolate shake, please.” chan answered first.

“i’ll take a chocolate shake, too.”

you folded the menu in front of you, content with your order.

“aw, come on.” chan made a sound of disapproval, “get a different flavor. if you want some chocolate, you can have some of mine.”

you felt a blush creep onto your cheeks, “um, okay, i’ll take strawberry then.”

the waitress clicked her pen shut with a smile, “i’ll have those out as soon as possible.”

you waited until she was out of earshot before speaking again.

“still think you’re fucking gross for eating chicken with ranch.”

he chuckled, pausing for a moment before responding.

“do you come here a lot?”

you shrugged, “i used to. i don’t too much now though,” you debated telling him the truth, you couldn’t afford to eat out much, but opted not to. you were still upset with him for his response the last time you mentioned your money issues.

“too busy.”

he nodded in understanding.

“what’s your favorite thing on the menu?”

you let out an unamused laugh, and it sounded a lot more harsh than you’d intended it to.

“why are you asking so many questions?”

he frowned, “just friendly conversation.”

you leaned back in your seat, “we’re not friends.”

you could have swore you saw something like hurt flash across his features before you were interrupted by the waitress setting your milkshakes in front of you.

you took a sip of your strawberry milkshake and any grumpy feelings you had for chan making you order it went out the window. it had been so long since you’d had a strawberry milkshake, or any kind other than chocolate. you always took the safe bet and got a chocolate shake, knowing you liked them, but you’d forgotten how good strawberry was.

you almost regretted snapping at chan as the two of you sat in uncomfortable silence waiting for the food to arrive. luckily, it didn’t take long, considering it was sort of late in the evening and there weren’t many other customers.

you made a gagging sound as the waitress placed a small container of ranch on chans plate.

the playful interaction seemed to give him the confidence to pick up conversation again.

“i used to come here all the time when i was little. me, hyunjin, felix, and seungmin got ice cream here practically every day in the summer.

you hummed in response, taking a bite of your food. the two of you ate in comfortable silence until both of your meals were complete. you shook your head lightly when chan motioned his chocolate shake to you, silently offering you to have a drink. you finished off your own shake with a sigh, leaning back into your seat.

“ready?” chan asked and you nodded in agreement, lifting yourself from your seat to stand.

you followed chan to the counter where he payed, leaving a generous tip for the kind waitress.

you watched as he opened the car door for you yet again and made a secret promise to yourself to beat him to it next time.

wait, next time?

you shook the thought from your head as you fastened the seatbelt across yourself.

you gave chan directions to your house and helped him find each turn along the short drive. it wasn’t far, you really could have walked home.

you couldn’t help but feel slight embarrassment as he pulled into your driveway. his car was probably worth more than your entire house.

you half expected him to make a rude comment about it, but instead he mentioned the small garden you had planted in the front yard, barely visible in the dark. it was lit up by your porch light.

“what do you plant?”

“huh? oh, flowers mostly. i might plant some tomatoes to throw at you though.”

he laughed as you stepped out of his car. he waited until your front door was shut behind you before pulling out of your driveway and making his way home, where he immediately found his bed.

he frowned when he saw two computers on it, you must have forgotten to put yours in your bag before the two of you left to get food.

he packed both of the devices into his school bag before getting ready for bed and crawling under the covers.

although he knew you’d only agreed to hang out for the project, he was glad you had. it seemed like he was finally breaking your shell of whatever you seemed to have against him.

you were digging through your book bag the next morning, muffin in hand, when chan and hyunjin strolled into the classroom, borderline late as always.

your eyes went to chan as he called your name while making his way towards you, lifting a laptop up in the air.

that’s where your laptop had disappeared to.

“you left it at mine last night.”

you thanked him as he set it in front of you, ignoring the whispers that erupted when chan announced that you’d been at his place the night before.

everyone in this class of all people should know it was just for the project.

he pulled his own out of his bag and typed in the password, getting right to work.

the class was quiet, no conversation between you and chan really happening other than when he cursed you out for throwing your muffin wrapper at him and as everyone was packing their things moments before the bell rang.

“my house again tonight to go over what we researched?”

you sharply inhaled, “i promised jisung and sooyeon i’d go to the basketball game with them.”

he shot you a skeptical look.

“i already told you i watch sports sometimes.”

“i’ve never seen you at a basketball game.”

“were you looking for me?” you teased.

he shook his head, “i’ve never seen you at swim meets either.”

you stood as the bell sounded, “i go to sports games, chan.”

he put his hands up in defense, “i never said you didn’t! just making observations.”

you hopped back into jisungs car after dropping your bag at your house, scolding sooyeon for stealing the shotgun seat while you were in your house.

the three of you had killed some time driving around in jisungs car and screaming the lyrics to whatever song came on, so the game was due to start in just about 40 minutes. you waited patiently in the like to get tickets, joking around with sooyeon and jisung to pass the time.

your turn came to purchase tickets.

“$5 a person, please.” the lady handing out tickets smiled sweetly. you assumed she was one of the players mothers.

sooyeon and jisung handed her their money as you checked your pockets for your wallet. where the fuck was it?

“y/n?” jisung questioned.

“i think i left my wallet at my house.” you said.

“i only brought enough for me.” sooyeon chimed in.

“me too.” jisung seconded.

you were getting ready to tell them to enjoy the game without you and tell minho you were sorry you couldn’t make it, that you’d just go home, when someone reached their arm around you, handing a $10 bill to the ticket lady.

“for her and me.”

you knew that voice.

“i don’t want your fucking money, chan.”

he raised an eyebrow, “sweetheart, you’ve been in my house. you know i can spare $5.”

sweetheart? where did that come from?

you huffed, allowing him to lead you out of line to give the people behind you a chance to get their tickets. sooyeon and jisung followed as you stepped into the gym and scanned the bleachers for seats.

“you actually came.” chan started again, “i thought you were just using it as an excuse not to hang out with me.”

“it’s not hanging out, it’s for school.”

“you’re saying you didn’t enjoy the diner yesterday, then?”

you gave him a light shove towards where you noticed hyunjin and felix sat down, “shut up.”

your friends followed you as you made your way up the bleachers and to the highest point, just a few feet from where chan was sat, sitting down in a big opening.

“excuse me,” jisung began, “what diner?”

you shrugged, “we got food after working for a bit, it’s not a big deal.”

“like a date?”

you slapped jisungs arm harder than you probably needed to.

“it was not a date.”

“did he pay?”

“yeah?”

he turned to sooyeon, lowering his voice, “it was totally a date.”

you shoved him again, “jisung, it was not a date!”

your eyes glanced towards where chan was sitting, surprised to see him already looking at you with a smile on his face.

oh my god, he heard them teasing you about him.

your immediate reaction was to flip chan off, which just made him laugh and turn back to his friends.

“you absolute cock,” you lowered your voice at jisung, “he heard you call it a date.”

he shrugged, “yeah, and he smiled about it.”

you ignored him, turning to face the court where the game would be starting soon.

“i’m just saying,” jisung continued, “would it really be that bad if you liked him?”

you didn’t answer him, keeping your eyes trained to the court and pursing your lips together in annoyance.

you didn’t notice that chan had overhead what jisung asked, something in his stomach dropping when he saw your negative reaction to the question.

he returned his focus to his friends, joining in on whatever conversation felix and hyunjin were on about. he tried to focus on them, but he couldn’t keep you off his mind, stealing glances at you every few minutes and hoping that maybe you’d be looking back.

he’d honestly hoped you’d sit with him during the game. there was enough room where he was seated for you and your friends to join, he didn’t get why you had to sit somewhere else. was he really that unbearable?

the game was just a minute away from halftime, the scores tied. you and everyone else in the crowd were on their feet, cheering on their respective teams.

you weren’t the biggest when it came to school spirit, but you were friends with a couple of the players. lee minho was someone you’d known for a long time, he’s actually the one who introduced you and jisung. you didn’t know whether to slap him or thank him for bringing the boy into your life, but either way, you always loved seeing the smile on his face when his team won.

minho had the ball in his control with the seconds ticking away at the timer. he passed it to someone else on his team, moving a few feet before they passed it right back to him. he was lined up perfectly for a three point shot.

you glanced at the scoreboard. 10 seconds until halftime.

he lined himself up to shoot and you cheered him on.

“you got it, min!!”

he released the ball from his hands and it went smoothly through the net just as the buzzer sounded, pausing the game with your team 3 points ahead.

although the gym may have been too loud for minho to have clearly heard what you said, chan heard it loud and clear.

min? you must be pretty close with him to call him that nickname, right? but chan had never heard you mention being close with lee minho before, so it couldn’t be anything serious. of course, he thought, with a twinge in his heart, you probably wouldn’t tell him if there was anything going on. as you’d made very clear the day before, you were not friends with him.

he watched as you rose from your seat and called to minho, stopping him from following the rest of his team to the locker room for a break before the second half.

he turned towards your voice, smiling when he noticed it was you. jisung and sooyeon followed you as you made your way across the gym and to him.

chan couldn’t hear what was being said from the other side of the gym, but he could see the way minho smiled down at you and wrapped you in his arms. he could see how you didn’t even complain about being pulled into the sweaty hug. if chan dared to hug you in that state, you’d probably kill him right then and there. on second thought, if he hugged you at all you would probably snap his neck.

without really thinking, he stood up and told hyunjin and felix he would be back soon. they exchanged a knowing glance as he crossed the gym to you, locking eyes with minho as he called your name.

he noted minhos arm hung loosely around your shoulders.

“i’m getting concessions. come with?”

minho raised his eyebrows at you, as if to ask “since when were you and chan close?”

“i don’t have money, chan, you know that.” you deadpanned.

“i know.” he rolled his eyes, “i’m buying.”

you were about to tell him to go on his own when minho spoke up, turning his face to you with his arm still around your shoulders.

“you go ahead, i should probably join my team.” he removed his arm from you, heading the direction of the locker rooms, “talk more after the game?”

“only if you win.” you teased.

“guess i got something to win for then.” he laughed, turning his back to the four of you.

chan unconsciously clenched his jaw at the interaction, motioning for you to follow him.

“you, too.” he pointed to jisung and sooyeon, “i’ll buy.”

jisung, never one to turn down free food, agreed immediately. you sent a glare in his direction, for all of the complaining you did about him, jisung seemed pretty pro-chan.

while waiting in line, jisung decided to start conversation.

“you’re actually kinda chill, y/n always makes you out to be an asshole.”

you hit jisung and chan let out a small laugh, one that could have easily been taken as amused if you didn’t see the hint of sadness lacing it.

“i can seem that way if you don’t know me.” he glanced at you before returning his eyes to jisung, “she’s getting to know me, though, so hopefully that changes.”

jisung nodded, motioning chan forward where it was your turn to order.

chan politely asked for just a sofa before stepping aside slightly to let you three order.

in natural jisung fashion, he ordered a soda and two pizza slices. sooyeon stuck with just a soda, and you got a soda and a small pack of m&ms.

chan payed for all of you before stepping out of line and sliding his wallet back into his pocket.

you all thanked him for paying as you headed back to the gym.

when you entered, he made his way back to his spot beside hyunjin, glancing back to see if you would follow. to his slight surprise, you did. you placed yourself on the bench next to him, jisung and sooyeon following suit.

his plan had worked, you had just sat down beside him willingly.

felix greeted you with a small wave, introducing himself to your friends. hyunjin did the same before a sly grin crossed his features as he pat his lap.

“i have a better seat for you, y/n.”

you reached across chan to playfully hit hyunjin, telling him to stop being a pervert, but neither he nor chan missed the blush on your cheeks at the comment.

you chatted a bit as a group before the alarm sounded, indicating that the game would be starting up again.

chan smiled in amusement at how into the game you got. he’d notice when you were sat a couple seats away from him, but he noticed it even more so now. he really had been wrong about you not caring about sports.

he watched as you clenched your fists every time the ball got stolen from someone on your team and cussed out the opposing teams members when they shoved one of your boys.

he chuckled as the same thing happened but with someone from your team shoving a boy from the opposing one, but you did not have the same sympathy when one of their teammates fell.

“get up, you’re fine!” you called, eyes following the ball.

you cheered whenever anyone from your team had the ball or scored, but you seemed to cheer a little harder every time it was minho in question. it made sense, you were friends, but chan couldn’t shake the frustrated feeling in his stomach every time you called minho's name.

by the time the game only had a few minutes left, the home team, your team, was up by enough points that it would take a real comeback for the other team to win.

they knew they had the game in the bag, swapping their normal varsity players like minho out with people who didn’t tend to get as much varsity playing time.

chan half expected you to lose interest in the game now that minho wasn’t on the court, but you remained just as invested as before, cheering on the younger players.

unsurprisingly, when the buzzer sounded, you were up by quite a few points. the whole of your schools team jumped up, congratulating each other on their win.

as everyone in the crowd rose and made their way out of the gym to head home, you stood, but remained in the gym.

after sitting with chan, felix, and hyunjin for the past half an hour, it didn’t strike you as odd when they stayed behind with you, sooyeon, and jisung as you waited for minho to shower off and meet you.

“y/n, chan,” felix singled you two out, “how’s that debate coming? pretty sure me and seungmin got this one in the bag.”

you stepped up a level on the bleachers to face felix, motioning between you and chan.

“we’re pretty confident.”

chan laughed, “are we?”

you shot him a glare for breaking your ruse, a laugh erupting from his throat. you took a small step to readjust your position, but your foot slipped off of the edge of the bleacher, causing you to lose balance. as you fell backwards, chan reacted quickly, wrapping his arm around your waist and planting his foot on the bleacher you’d slipped on to secure the both of you from falling.

you’d mentally prepared yourself for the impact, letting out a soft sound of surprise when it never came. chan helped you balance again and loosened his grip on you, keeping one hand on your waist as the other flew up to push your hair out of your face.

“you alright?”

you nodded, violently aware of his hands on your body but not really thinking anything of the interaction until you heard felix and jisung let out snickers.

you brushed chans hands off of you, “what?”

“oh, nothing.” jisung said.

just then, you heard the door to the locker room open and minho stepped out into the gym, changed out of his basketball attire and into some comfy sweatpants and a plain white shirt.

you hopped off the bleachers to go meet him, chan following immediately beside you.

you missed felix and jisungs snickers behind you, “he’s so whipped.”

minho glanced between you and chan again as you approached him. seriously, when did this happen? the last time he’d heard, you had nothing but dislike for him.

he nodded his head to address you, “dinner and ice cream?” he directed the question towards you, jisung, and sooyeon, turning to the others as an afterthought.

“you guys are welcome too.”

you smiled and accepted his offer, trying not to show that you really wished he hadn’t invited the other three. more specifically, chan. you still did not like him, you told yourself.

the more those words passed through your mind, the less truth you felt behind them and the more it felt like an empty phrase.

“where to?” jisung questioned as you all headed for the door to the parking lot.

“that diner a couple blocks away?” hyunjin suggested.

chan shook his head, “me and y/n just went there yesterday.”

you shrugged, “i’m fine with going again if you are.”

chan shrugged back, “it’s decided, then.”

you rode with sooyeon in jisungs car, you didn’t know exactly how the others pooled other than chan was driving, you recognized his car behind jisungs.

jisung parked the car and you stepped out, waiting for the others to arrive and join you before entering the small place.

when you did, you were greeted by the same woman who had served you and chan the night before. she looked between the two of you.

“back again? weren’t you just here last night on a little date?”

your face flushed red and you glanced at chan, his was bright red as well.

he started to politely deny but you broke in, “that was not a date.

she shrugged with a teasing smile, “you sure acted like it was.”

your mouth fell agape as you let her lead you to a table big enough to fit all of you, “no one tip her.” you joked, eliciting another laugh from her.

chan was surprised you’d been so calm about denying it, honestly. he’d expected a huge show, you making a point to make sure everyone in the restaurant knew you were not dating him.

he sat down and you,once again to his surprise, slipped in right beside him.

he frowned, it was like you said one thing but acted out another. you always made a point verbally to tell him and everyone else around you weren’t close but then you did things like that, deliberately choosing to sit next to him when you could have easily waited and positioned yourself between sooyeon and jisung or minho.

minho slid in next to you, jisung and sooyeon after him. felix and hyunjin sat on the other end of chan.

you opened your menu even though you were probably going to order the same thing you always did and a red flag shot off in your mind as your eyes locked with the prices. you’d forgotten you didn’t bring your wallet. you looked at your two friends, either they hadn’t realized their issue yet or just assumed someone else would pay for them.

you folded the menu back up and set it in front of you.

chan raised his eyebrows, “already decided?”

you nodded before softly speaking, “i’m not hungry.”

he frowned, “wanna just get a milkshake or something?”

you shook your head, playing with your hands in your lap.

he nudged you with his shoulder, “hey, my treat. get whatever you want.”

you looked at him with wide eyes, “you’ve already spent so much on me today.”

he waved you off, “$10 is not a lot, sweetheart. plus, i remembered you didn’t have your wallet when i agreed to come. i intended on paying for you anyway.”

you nodded, face flushing at his comment.

you’d be blushing if anyone called you by that nickname, you told yourself.

you made no move to grab the menu again, you would just opt for your usual.

the waitress arrived and took everyone’s order one by one. you decided to get another strawberry shake. after having the one yesterday, you remembered how good they were.

a few minutes later everyone’s drinks arrived, the waitress stating that the food would be done shortly. you took a sip from your milkshake before glancing over at chan.

“does the offer still stand from yesterday?”

he frowned and you gestured to the milkshake, indicating you wanted a sip.

he nodded, pushing it in your direction. you took a drink of the chocolate milkshake and then frowned a little, taking a sip of your strawberry one before tasting the chocolate again.

chan laughed, “what are you doing?”

“deciding which one i like more.”

he chuckled, reaching for your shake and doing the same.

“i think they’re pretty equal. both good in different ways.”

you agreed, saying they both had their own charms.

the waitress finally brought the food out and you had to bite back a remark as she set the ranch down on chans plate again. he noticed the look on your face as you eyed the sauce.

“are you going to fight me about my ranch again?”

you were going to reply, but minho cut in.

“i’m sorry y/n, do you have a problem with ranch?”

you looked between the two, “yes, actually, i do. who the hell eats it with chicken?”

the rest of the table caught wind of the conversation and joined in.

felix pointed at your plate, “barbecue all the way.”

jisung and hyunjin agreed, sooyeon stating that she liked both.

“okay,” jisung prompted, “but which ones better?”

“i swear to god if you say ranch we’re replacing you with felix.”

hyunjin pouted in faux hurt, “why not me?”

you shrugged, “or maybe hyunjin, i don’t know yet. we’ll hold a challenge to decide.”

she laughed, “not necessary, i’ll keep my spot. i gotta say barbecue over ranch.”

minho and chan groaned, they were heavily outnumbered.

“her opinion doesn’t count,” chan grumbled, “she’s not even eating chicken right now.”

you laughed and for a moment chan thought he was in a dream. the way your lips curled into a smile and your eyes shined while you laughed made his stomach do flips, the fact that he was the one causing your laughter just making it all the much better.

the meal was pleasant, fun and casual conversation flowing between everyone as you ate. the time to pay came and the waitress approached the table again, gathering the empty plates and glasses.

“how should i split the bill?”

chan spoke up first, gesturing between you and him.

“we’re together.”

felix scanned the table, “anyone need someone to cover them?”

both jisung and sooyeon timidly raised their hands, felix telling the waitress to but then on his tab. hyunjin and minho both payed their own.

as you all got out of your seats and headed for the door, jisung spoke to you.

“y/n, we should hang out with your rich friends more.”

chan heard the words leave jisungs mouth and prepared himself for your reply, but you didn’t say anything along the lines of what he’d expected. you would have. in fact, the words were just at the tip of your tongue.

“they’re not my friends, jisung.”

but as they almost left your lips, they didn’t taste right.

instead, you gave a small laugh, “or you could get a job and use your own money.”

“nah,” he waved a hand in dismissal, “who would drive you around then?”

you waved everyone goodbye as you hopped into the back of jisungs car, letting sooyeon take the front seat because you knew you’d be getting dropped off first anyway.

a week went by and it was finally time for the debates to start. each debate would take an entire class period, so you and chan didn’t have to go until the thursday of the week. you ate your muffin as quickly as you could, silently pouting to yourself that you would have to throw your own wrapper away today without even having thrown it as chan. what a waste.

you’d dressed up a little bit more than normal being that you knew it impacted your grade. you stood at the front of the room with felix and seungmin waiting for chan to arrive so you could begin.

he and hyunjin entered the room seconds before the bell rang, chan not even bothering to go to his seat to put his bag down, just laying it near the door.

you let out a small laugh at the way you, seungmin, and felix were dressed so much nicer than normal, but chan looked just as he did every day.

“you look nice.” was the first thing chan said to you.

you thanked him just as the teacher introduced who would be debating and where each team stood on the topic.

you and chan were set to give the first opening statement, which you’d both agreed you would say. but as the teacher gave the good to go, you found the words stuck in your throat.

chan noticed your nervousness, gently placing a hand on the small of your back and rubbing soothing circles with his finger.

if you’d been told a few weeks ago that chans hand on you like that would calm your nerves, you would have punched whoever said it in the face.

but now, as you focused on the way his hand felt against your back through the thin fabric of your outfit, you felt the anxiety lessen slightly. it was still there obviously, but you were able to get the words past your lips with a tone that made it sound like you were confident.

chans hand remained on your back until the opposite team's opening statement was completed and it was his turn to speak, getting into your first argument.

he’d taken a chance by touching you, but now he was glad he had. regardless of what you said, the way you reacted to his touch proved to him that you didn’t hate him. at least not as much as you claimed to.

the debate was rounded off and there were still a few minutes left of class. there would be no actual decided winner, just a grade to mark how well your teacher deemed your performance.

still, that didn’t stop you from arguing with felix that you’d obviously beat him and seungmin.

“we demolished you, lix.”

“you so did not,” he laughed back, “we actually had to go easy on your guys because we felt bad.”

the four of you argued playfully until the bell rang, releasing you to your next class. chan stopped you just outside the door.

“hey, y/n?”

you turned to him, humming to acknowledge you’d heard him.

“i’ve got a meet tonight, do you wanna come?”

you were taken aback by the question.

“oh, um, where is it?”

“it’s home,” he replied, “just a couple hours after school gets over, so you could probably just wait here if you wanted, we’re not really going to be practicing anyway.”

“i’d have to see if jisung can give me a ride to my house so i can pick up my wallet...”

“no need!” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small card, “use this.”

you frowned slightly at the piece of plastic, it was his fan pass, a free ticket for one person of each swim team members choice to get into every meet for free. each person only got one a season for the sake of still gaining profit, and chan was giving his to you?

you hesitantly took it from his hand, sliding it into your own pocket.

“are you sure?”

“yeah!” he beamed, “you’re the only one i could really think of who i’d want to have it.”

you felt your heart swell at his words, watching as he turned from you and headed to his next class.

you couldn’t fight the stupid grin from climbing onto your face and the giddy feeling in your stomach. chan wanted you at his games, more than anyone else. enough to give you his fan pass to make it easier for you to afford to come.

your heart did a summersault before dropping in realization.

you had been so focused on making sure you didn’t have any platonic feelings for him that you’d completely ignored the possibility of a different kind of feeling.

you had fallen for bang chan.

you didn’t mention your realization to anyone, not even jisung or sooyeon. the only mention of going to the swim meet was when you asked them if they wanted to go with you. sooyeon had to go to work, but jisung said he’d try to make it, letting you know minho would be there even if he himself couldn’t go.

they all went home to drop their stuff off before the meet, but you denied jisungs offer to give you a ride home. instead, you headed to where you the boys would be, as chan put it, not really practicing.

you entered the pool room and saw that he was not joking around, they really weren’t practicing. they weren’t even in swim gear, all just sitting in a circle on the concrete next to the pool and chatting. you noticed a pile of backpacks near the door and you added yours to it before stepping in further.

you weren’t sure whether to approach them or not, they didn’t seem to be doing anything serious, would it be okay for you to join them?

as if reading your mind, chan called you over to sit beside him, sliding closer to one of his teammates you didn’t know the name of to make room for you.

“who’s this?” one of his teammates asked with a curious smile.

“his girlfriend.” hyunjin piped up, earning a chorus of cheers from the rest of the teams. your face flushed red and chan waved his arms to calm everyone down, “y/n is not my girlfriend.”

you swallowed thickly, just a week ago you would have jumped to agree with those words, but now they made your stomach hurt. when did this change even happen? you couldn’t pinpoint it.

he noticed your discomfort, placing a hand on your knee to calm you down, hoping you would have the same positive reaction to his touch that you had that morning.

noticing the action, one of his teammates spoke up.

“not your girlfriend my ass.”

instead of responding to his teammate, chan directed his attention towards you.

“the meet starts in about two hours. i’ve gotta go in one to get ready, do you have someone to wait with you so you’re not alone?

you nodded, “i know minho is for sure coming, jisung might too.”

he wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of minho coming, but at least he knew you wouldn’t be sitting alone.

you thought it would be awkward sitting with chans swim team for an hour, especially considering how much they’d already teased you, but it was actually pleasant.

the group of you talked about random stuff, laughing and joking around. you’d even learned some of their names. jeongin and changbin were the two you spoke to most, aside from chan and hyunjin.

the time came when they had to go prepare for the meet and get changed and you waved them all goodbye, pulling out your phone to text minho and ask if he’d gotten to the school yet.

he responded almost immediately that he had just parked and would be in in a few minutes. you walked out to greet him by the ticket booth where there was already a line forming.

you slipped into line beside him and started casual conversation.

“do you come to sports stuff alone a lot?” you asked, referring to the fact that if you hadn’t been asked to come he would have been sitting alone.

he shrugged, “i guess. you don’t need someone with you to enjoy a sport.” he send a wink your way as he lightly pushed you with his shoulder, “everything is more fun with you, though.”

you laughed, stepping ahead to show the woman taking money the pass chan had given you. before you could get it out of your pocket, minho was thrusting a $10 bill to the ticket taker.

you stopped him, pulling the card from your pocket and showing it to both him and the ticket taker.

“i’ve got this, you don’t need to pay for me.”

he furrowed his brows in confusion, “chan gave you his fan pass?”

you nodded, a blush forming on your cheeks.

he nodded, swapping the $10 for a $5 bill to avoid getting unnecessary change.

you walked into the room and caught sight of your backpack. it was alone on the floor now, all of the boys had taken theirs with them when they went to get changed. you moved to pick it up, pausing when you noticed a sticky note on top of it.

paper clipped under the note was a small amount of cash, and scribbled across the piece of paper was a small note. you knew the handwriting right away, you’d been forced into too many ethics projects with chan not to recognize his handwriting by now.

“forgot to give you this! for if you get hungry :)”

you didn’t notice the smile on your face until minho commented on it.

“what, he’s your sugar daddy now?”

you shoved him lightly, laughing at his joke.

you swung the bag over your shoulder and pocketed the money along with the note (it was cute, you wanted to keep it).

being there so early, it was quite easy to find a good spot. chan had told you which lanes and pools he’d be racing in so you knew where to sit to be able to see him, too.

deciding to finally ask what changed between you two, minho spoke up.

“didn’t you hate him like less than a month ago? and now you have his fan pass?”

you shrugged, “he got less annoying. started acting like a normal person instead of an asshole.”

minho frowned, “he seems the same to me.”

you shrugged, “he probably acts different around different people.”

“so,” he continued, “are you two like...”

you shook your head as your face flushed pink.

“no, no. he just didn’t have anyone else to give the pass to.”

minho raised his eyebrows but hummed and accepted your answer anyway.

you hadn’t noticed time ticking by and the area growing more crowded as you talked until a man stood on a high platform near the center pool with a microphone in his hand began to speak, welcoming everyone to the meet.

the races began and chan wasn’t in any of the starting line ups, but hyunjin was. being the only other person you really knew, you focused on him.

watching swim was different than watching a lot of other sports, but you enjoyed it anyway. there was no fighting for a ball or scoring goals, no ball to follow, but it was just as entertaining to watch the way the water worked with every swimmer.

you were still amazed with hyunjin’s movements. you weren’t surprised in the slightest when his race ended with him being the first to complete the set.

as much as you found hyunjin interesting to watch, you couldn’t help but be happy as the first round ended and the second began, the first chan would be competing in.

you watched as he stepped out to the edge of the pool, scanning the crowd for you. he smiled and sent a small wave in your direction before getting into position to dive.

you ended up not using any of the money chan had given you for drinks and snacks, not even when minho got up to go get some food of his own. you stayed planted in your seat the whole time matches were occurring, always either trained on hyunjin or chan. there were the occasional time that neither of them were racing in any of the pools, but it wasn’t often and rounds were never long enough for you to leave without missing anything.

at the end of the night, the added up scores were close, but chan’s team had won. you weren’t as caught up on the scoring system of swimming as you were of other sports, but you didn’t need to know. the announcer let out the final scores of each team, your schools team coming out on top.

people stood and began to leave as the swimmers began towards the locker rooms and the team managers started cleaning up the pool area and covering the pools again.

chan waited for you before leaving to change, allowing you to congratulate him on the win.

minho said a quick goodbye, stating he had to get home and do some work before it got too late, leaving you and chan alone.

before really realizing what you were doing, you wrapped your arms around chan and held him in a tight hug. he faltered for a moment before wrapping his arms securely around you, holding you close to him. you moved to pull away, but he kept you locked in his arms.

“chan, let me go! you’re still soaked!”

“you hugged me first, you asked for this!”

your hands found his chest as you planted your palms there and pushed him away from you, suddenly very aware of the way his bare chest felt under your hands.

you retracted your hands from his body, wiping them on your pants to dry them off.

ignoring your thudding heart, you spoke.

“now i smell like chlorine.”

a sly smile spread across his face, “no, now you smell like me.”

you blushed and he took a step closer to you, closing the distance between the two of you and holding your elbows as he kept you close to him.

“thank you for coming.”

you smiled up at him and teased, “i only came because you asked me to. i really hated it.”

he gasped in faux hurt, “you mean to say you didn’t enjoy watching me shirtless for three hours?”

you shook your head, “hyunjin looked pretty good though.”

he chuckled and you felt his grip on your arms loosen as he moved one of his hands to your face, cupping your cheek.

the next thing you knew his lips were on yours and for some reason, that didn’t upset you in the slightest. you kissed him back, his lips were so soft for someone who spent half of their time in chlorine soaked water.

he pulled away and scanned your face for any sign of discomfort, a big smile covering his face when he found none.

“i’m not going to lie,” he chuckled, “i kind of thought you’d punch me when i did that.”

you laughed, raising your eyebrows, “i still have time to.”

he removed his hands from you and held them up in defense, taking a step back from you. you laughed even more at his reaction, surprising the both of you and closing the gap, hands going to his neck as you pulled him down into another kiss.

the moment was cut short as the locker room flew open and hyunjin stepped out, pausing in the door when he saw the scene taking place in front of him.

a smile crept onto his features and he spoke with a teasing tone, “i thought she wasn’t your girlfriend.”

you both laughed softly before chan responded, “she wasn’t.”

“is she now?” hyunjin prompted.

chan looked at you with his brows raised as if to ask “i don’t know, are you?”

ignoring the furious blush across your cheeks, you replied, “i mean, yeah.”

hyunjin clapped just hands loudly, “fucking finally.”

“language, hwang!” the coach called from across the large room.

“my bad,” he yelled back before directing his words towards chan, “you should get changed.”

chan nodded, sending one last smile in your direction before walking into the locker room and leaving you and hyunjin.

“when you realize i’m way hotter than chan, give me a call.” he sent a teasing wink in your direction and you laughed as he left the room, leaving you alone.

you waited patiently for chan to come back from the locker room, scrolling through your phone. you debated texting your friends the new update, but you figured you’d just tell them the next day.

despite being the last to go into the locker room, chan was not the last out. he came back to you just a few minutes after leaving.

he held his keys up, signaling it was time to go. you followed him to his car, letting him pull open the door for you. you slipped in as quickly as possible, slamming the door shut behind you and pressing the button to lock the doors.

chan sent a small glare in your direction, but you could see the smile threatening to poke through.

he held up his key fob, clicking his own button to unlock the doors. he made a move to open the drivers side door and pulled on the handle just as you clicked the lock again. you repeated this a few times before letting out a loud laugh and finally allowing him to get into his car, tossing his things into the back seat.

“we’ve literally been dating for less than an hour and you’re already terrorizing me.” he grumbled.

he paused for a moment before continuing, “straight home or are you hungry?”

you shrugged, “whatever you want.”

he nodded, pulling the car out of the parking spot, “food it is.”

he didn’t bother to ask what restaurant you wanted, heading to the same little diner a few blocks away he’d taken you to before.

you laughed as you entered the diner to see the same waitress that had served you the last two times you were there.

“do you ever go home?”

she laughed, “do you two ever eat anywhere other than here?”

“touché.”

you chose your spot before ordering almost immediately, you’d learned that chan also tended to stick with the same choice every time.

“hey,” chan called to the waitress before she could walk away, “guess what?”

“what, dear?”

chan reached across the table and grabbed your hand, “it’s an official date this time.”

she broke into a big smile, “i knew it was only a matter of time.”

you sat down at your spot the next morning with a pout on your face. for the first time in about a month, there was no muffin on your spot.

it wasn’t like whoever put them there was obligated to give you one every morning, but you’d gotten so used to it.

you looked ahead at who would be debating today, you couldn’t recall any of their names.

chan walked through the door earlier than normal due to the fact that there hadn’t been practice that morning because of the meet the night before. you smiled at him as he approached your table, but the smile dropped into a look of confusion as he placed a muffin ahead of you before slipping behind you.

he sat down, “morning, baby.”

when you didn’t respond, a concerned look crossed his features.

“what’s wrong?”

you held up the muffin, “you’ve been giving me these?”

he shrugged, “yeah. i remembered you saying you didn’t always get breakfast.”

as he smiled at you something clicked in your brain.

minhos words from the night before repeated themselves in your head.

“he seems the same to me.”

that’s because he was the same. that was it, he hadn’t changed. he never stopped being an asshole, he just never was one in the first place. he wasn’t ever a prick, you just had your heart set so strongly on hating him that you saw everything he did in the worst way possible. the things he used to do that annoyed you were now things you grew fond of. the way he bumped your chair sometimes in the morning used to make you livid, but now it brought a smile to your face. you used to want to rip his head off when he hummed while working, but you adored the sound now, even going so far as to not put in headphones so you could hear him. he was the same boy he’d always been.

he didn’t change, the way you saw him did.

but just as quickly as these became things you loved about him, they fell right back into being annoying habits.

5K notes · View notes

carlyraejcpsen · 3 years ago

Text

alright, i’ve tried to keep quiet because i truly believe in karma and wanted this rp to close through the admin’s own actions and not give them any opportunities to blame it on me instead. it also felt like beating a dead horse, because i was sure they’d close the rp after losing a huge proportion of their active members and the majority of their diversity. however, after seeing multiple people sharing their experiences today, they are still posting promo posts and starting their event. so yeah, here’s my experience with @thevillagerp

NOTE: i no longer have screenshots from my conversations with the admins, as i blocked them when i left the rp for the sake of my own mental health, but i did save the text in my drafts, so the messages below are copy pasted. i have not edited them in any way. They also deleted my original anonymous messages off of their blog.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: racism, very vague allusions to homophobia and transphobia

so i was a member of this roleplay for around two months. during my time there, it was startlingly obvious that white fcs were preferred and prioritised, both from the fact that they got more plots and interactions in general and from the fact that admins never promoted diversity on the main. even now, they repeatedly say they “would still love to receive some more male and non-binary apps” while ignoring that they currently have a ratio of 8 fcs of colour to 24 white fcs. their diversity rules at the time were that 1/3 of a mun’s characters had to be played by an fcoc. so people could easily just play one or two white characters.

a while ago, i sent an anonymous message to the main asking if they had considered perhaps changing this rule to be 2/3 characters instead of 1/3, since there were so few muses of colour in the roleplay (as i said before, they’ve since deleted this from their blog so i cannot provide a screenshot). they responded that they had been thinking of upping the character limit to four instead of three, with a rule that 2/4 must be played by an fcoc. i gave them the benefit of the doubt and the time to enact this change, but nothing happened.

so a few weeks later, i sent them this message on anonymous:

I was wondering if you had thought any more about the diversity rules here? I know you said before that you were considering increasing the character limit, but I noticed that hasn’t happened and I wanted to know if that was a change we’re going to see or if you would consider changing the rules in another way? I’m really disheartened by the lack of diversity in the roleplay

at the time there were 18 characters of colour out of a total of over 60. they responded (again, i’m sorry i don’t have the actual wording since they’ve deleted the messages) that they had thought about it and decided against upping the character limit, but instead would be having a weekly “poc acceptance day,” where they would only be accepting apps with fcs of colour. they also said they were doing this “now that the waitlist was mostly cleared,” which meant that the rp was mostly at capacity anyway, so they needed to look more at how to encourage their existing members to promote diversity, since there weren’t spaces open for new people to bring them in.

i responded with another anon expressing my disappointment and pointing out that they had done more to prevent having too many celebrity characters than too few muses of colour, as at the time they had a ban on celebrity muses. i wouldn’t usually suggest a ban on certain fcs, but as it was something they had done for celebrity characters, then i supposed it was a reasonable option.

they didn’t even respond to this message and instead posted on the main asking me to come off anon to discuss it. so i did, and i sent them the following dm:

i didn’t want to come off anon because i honestly feel really ostracised in this group and didn’t want to make it worse, but i don’t want to drop this issue and you aren’t comfortable addressing it publicly so here we are i guess. like i said in my previous message, i really don’t see how a “poc acceptance day” is going to make anywhere near enough of a difference. people will just wait for the opportunity to play their white characters. there are only 18 characters of colour in a roleplay with over 60 characters. that’s less than a third, which is obviously concerning. what’s even more concerning for me is that these characters are more often than not overlooked. i am often ghosted when plotting, or people don’t even reach out at all when i like plotting calls or intro posts. and then i have to watch characters like leo almost exclusively interact with white women (i’m sure that’s not the only example, but it is the first that comes to mind as he is one of the more active characters).

so this issue goes so much deeper than there just not being adequate representation in the rp. i really tried to help, i suggested making it a rule that 2/3 characters need to be poc in my original ask and you mentioned upping the character limit in response. i was worried that my concerns were being brushed aside, but i waited a while to give you the benefit of the doubt and the space to discuss the issue. so you can understand why it was really upsetting today to learn that the one thing you suggested was dropped and instead replaced with something that is barely scratching the surface of the problem. and i don’t know if it was your intention, but by saying that you were waiting for the waitlist to clear, it comes across as not wanting to receive any backlash from people who would want to join with only white characters. and even if people did want to join with faceclaims of colour, they can’t because the waitlist is cleared. like i suggested, you could change the rules so that 2 out of 3 characters must be people of colour. or, as was your proposed idea, up the character limit to four. you could also put a temporary ban on white faceclaims until the ratio evens out. as i mentioned, it’s really distressing that this was something you were willing to do for celebrity characters, but not to aid diversity.

i also just want to make it clear that these have been the only anons i’ve sent, i know you’ve been getting other ones, but those weren’t from me!!

( for context, they were receiving anons from someone else claiming that they felt left out in the rp ).

i had hoped that coming off anon would show them that this was a very real issue which was affecting their members, as well as giving them a space to discuss it privately instead of on the main. they responded with:

Hi Em, thank you for coming forward. We really, really appreciate it and we understand it’s not an easy thing to do. We also appreciate you flying the flag for diversity so strongly. We can always strive to be better, we are on the same page with you here.

Let us just explain our decision making. Firstly, just to address the waitlist, that was certainly not at all our intention when we brought it up. It was a logistical decision with 5+ applicants having already waited a week for acceptance and aware of their position on a waitlist.

When we decided against upping the character limit (and therefore the 2/4 POC character rule), we thought a POC acceptance day could be a good alternative course of action. In our eyes, this was something that would probably bring more POC characters to the group than the 2/4 rule because we knew there weren’t going to be many muns taking up an additional fourth character. This was a rule we’ve seen other groups enjoy success from so we wanted to try it out here. Plus, we think a day that explicitly highlights diversity every week would bring the message to the forefront of everyone’s minds. As we said, we’re going to monitor this over the next couple of weeks to see if it brings any improvement because we’d really like to have it as an ongoing rule.

The non-POC ban is actually a measure we’ve spoken about too and we are considering putting one in place should this fail. Thank you for raising your concerns, know that we’ve taken them very seriously and we hope that you’ll trust our judgement in trying this rule out first to see where it leads.

first of all, i don’t think i even have to mention the wording of “flying the flag for diversity.” but the real crux of the issue here is that they supposedly wanted me to come off anon to discuss the issue, but instead just explained their idea further and didn’t take anything i said on board. they didn’t even say a single word about how i told them i felt ostracised and regularly got ignored. i knew from speaking to other muns in the rp who played muses of colour (and just from looking at the dash) that they felt the same way too, but of course was only speaking from my own experience.

i thought long and hard about how to respond to this, as i was so disheartened by their unwillingness to listen to their members and the fact that they didn’t care that i felt left out. it felt like they had asked me to come off anon just so they knew who was messaging them and therefore put a target on my back, so honestly the thought of being on the dash or talking to the admins made me incredibly anxious. before i had a chance, however, they responded again with:

Hi hun, we’ve continued discussing this issue over the last couple of days and we wanted to let you know that we’ve decided to put in place a non-POC ban instead. Thank you again for holding a mirror up to the group. We do hope that this will recorrect the balance.

so i waited to see how things would play out. they posted about this new ban here and pinned the post to the top of the main:

[ IMAGE ID: a screenshot from thevillagehq of an admin update, which reads: in the interest of keeping the village a diverse space, we are currently only accepting applications for POCs. please note that any apps or reserves submitted to us for faceclaims that are not POCs will be deleted. we will lift this rule once we see fit.

thank you for your understanding and your efforts in making this group a brighter, more inclusive and diverse place for all. /END ID ]

this rule remained in place for around two weeks, during which time they made almost no effort to promote it. the above post was pinned to the main page, but that was the only mention of the ban anywhere on their page, they didn’t update the rules page or even put a note on the application page about it. during this two week period, the admins posted 10 promo posts, none of which suggested fcs or even mentioned the ban or diversity at all. the ban was then lifted suddenly when the pinned post was removed and the admins just went back to accepting apps with white fcs. the ratio had only evened out in those two weeks (from 18 out of 65 to 24/50) because of people going inactive or leaving, and there was nothing put into place to continue to promote diversity after the lift of the ban. in the three days after the ban was lifted, the admins posted over 10 promo posts, the same amount they had posted during the entirety of the ban. it was clear that they had no intention of actually making changes in their rp and had only done so because i refused to drop the issue.

again, i thought a lot about what i wanted to message them. i knew at this point that they didn’t want to make any real changes, but i still felt like i had to make it clear to them how disappointing their actions were. once again, i was messaged before i even had a chance, this time for bubbling.

as you can see in the above correspondence, i had told the admins point blank that i felt left out and ignored in the rp because of the characters i played (aubrey plaza, mj rodriguez and keiynan lonsdale fcs. all of my characters were queer and used either she/they or they/them pronouns). as a general rule, the only people who wanted to write with me and have interesting plots with me were people who played other muses of colour. the rp had a rule that you must reply to 3+ muns on every character, which i had been doing. i had only been back from my hiatus for a few days at this point and had responded to 6 different open starters the day prior. their message to me read:

Hi hun. There’s something we wanted to address to you directly. It’s been expressed to us by multiple members during these last few weeks that they have felt excluded by your character within the group, especially when it comes to the friend bubble that has formed between Mars, Bowie, Luvena, Asher and others.

While we encourage the development of friendships and trust that this isn’t intentional, we have a zero tolerance for bubble roleplaying at The Village. We are aware that our three mun activity rules have been met by all parties involved, however, bubbling is usually a little more nuanced than that and it seems it has unfortunately begun to create a bit of a divide within the group.

We have already issued individual warnings to a few people within the bubble, however with multiple members still expressing their concerns to us, we decided it would be better to address the group as a whole. We hope that by pointing this out to you, you will try and branch out to your fellow members a little more from now on - and try and be a little more inclusive when it comes to everyone else in the group.

We take such matters very seriously as admins, and while we hope it won’t have to come to this, there will be consequential steps taken should we not see any changes in your interactions in the weeks to come.

as you can imagine, i was incredibly upset to receive this message after already telling them i didn’t get plots from many of their members and they had done nothing. even people who i had previously messaged continued to only write with the same few white characters. i don’t deny that we definitely had a friendship group between our characters, but there were multiple people in that roleplay, including the admins, who only cared about ship plots or plots with the same few muns. me and other people who received the same message had all previously told the admins that people aren’t plotting with us and gotten ignored, so receiving this message made it clear that they neither cared about us nor wanted us in their rp. and so i responded as below:

yeah i literally told you i felt left out because there are multiple people only writing with white characters and you never addressed it, so this message is honestly insulting. i have reached out to almost every new member, responded to multiple open starters and have tried to plot with as many people as possible. like i told you, i am often left on read or people don’t even message me at all. if people do message me, i am usually expected to put in all of the effort and if people aren’t interested in actually developing plots with me then i am obviously not going to force my characters on them. all of my characters are queer, non binary people of colour and the harsh truth of this roleplay is that people don’t care about them. i even wrote out a whole list of 20 detailed suggested connections in an attempt to get more plots and nothing came from that either. i’ve even gotten anonymous hate saying that offering to explain my characters’ pronouns was “patronising,” which i didn’t feel like i could approach you about because, when i told you about how i’m feeling excluded, you didn’t care.

so if i only have actual plots with the people who actually care about my characters, i make no apologies. i also don’t even have threads with half of the characters you named, asher being the only one, and have literally only just come off hiatus. so please explain how i am bubbling, because this really just feels targeted at this point.

you’ve made it endlessly clear that this rp isn’t a safe space for people who want to play diverse characters. the main was practically silent while you had a ban on white faceclaims, which you never actively promoted, and then you dropped that suddenly without putting anything else in place. you also deleted my initial anonymous messages asking about diversity as if you were trying to hide that there was ever an issue. you turned anonymous messages off, so that no one can safely criticise you. because i did that off anon and ever since it has felt like there is a massive target on my back. my characters have been “accidentally” on the activity checks multiple times despite me being on hiatus (people get a notification that they were tagged even if you remove their name from the list btw). plus when i asked for an extension on my hiatus, you said that you would allow it “just this once” which now makes me feel like i can’t come to you if i’m busy. right now, for example, i am in the middle of moving house, but i’m also stressed about trying to stay active because you have made yourselves completely unapproachable.

the ratio only evened out slightly because members left. then suddenly after the ban you’re posting multiple promo posts a day??? you couldn’t get more obvious. i came to you about diversity in good faith, hoping that it was something you were unaware of, but you have made it abundantly clear that you actively do not want to promote diversity in your roleplay, we are just here to be witnesses to your ship. there are multiple members who are actually bubbling who have been brought to your attention, but nothing has been done. leo continues to only write with the same three white and white passing characters. charlotte pretty much only appears to write with leo and post a vague “message me for plots” post that wasn’t even tagged. both of you only put effort into your ship threads with each other and the occasional text threads. even with something like group events: while i’ve been here, there’s been a pride event that neither of your characters were even in new york for (an event where i was the only one reaching out and posting multiple starters, by the way); there was no event last month, and this month all you’re talking about is this housewarming party.

i’m really disheartened that it’s come to this, but i can’t be here anymore. please post unfollows for all my characters. you’ve said multiple times that we should trust you as admins, but this message shows again that i simply can’t do that. from the disregard of trigger warnings, to the way you treated being held accountable for the lack of diversity, to how you respond to people asking for hiatuses, this isn’t a safe space. even if i stayed, the target you have placed on me is making it insufferable to just write my characters in peace.

the other muns who received the same bubbling message (copy pasted btw, we all got the same one word for word) all responded with their own concerns and criticisms in responses of a similar length to mine. none of us received a reply, our unfollows were just posted the next day without any further responses from the admins. a few of the other members who had written and plotted with us chose to leave as well, which the admins wrote off as us just dragging them with us as opposed to them being able to make their own decisions and being aware of the situation (which was incredibly obvious. no promotion of a white fc ban, suddenly being active on the main once they try to stealthily drop the ban, then the majority of their muses of colour leaving???)

i haven’t paid the rp much attention since i left, as i mentioned above i blocked the main and the majority of the members just for my own mental health. but from a quick scroll through today i can see that the only change in diversity rules is that now instead of your third character having to be a poc, it is now your second. however, you still only have to have 1 character out of 3 have a fc of colour. so very little has been done, but of course i’m not surprised in the slightist.

these admins don’t want diversity in their roleplay. if you play any character who isn’t a rich, white, cishet neurotypical, please avoid it at all costs. it’s not in any way a safe environment.

#rpc #rpt #rp #thevillagerp #hope this makes sense i think there's a lot that needs context and hopefully i did a good enough job explaining #sorry to my non rp followers this blog is such a mess

59 notes · View notes

mmmonie · 4 years ago

Text

I have obey me brain rot and I physically cannot take it anymore so here are some random HCS I fucking busted out about demons under the read more (and some angel stuff thrown in. For fun. Spice is the variety of life or whatever) I formatted this on mobile so forgive me for my crimes pls..... 😔

Also as an fyi I have never written anything in my life <3 (and also I’m dyslexic) so if something sounds stupid I’m sorry lol <3 also I’m sure u can tell but I never know where to put commas so if that bothers u........sorry again lol

*There are (at least) two demonic languages: one is a bit like Latin albeit way more fucked up. The second one is spoken only. A human can learn to understand both but the second one requires a lot of concentration to discern due to the subtlety in the growls, clicks and other noises demons are capable of making. It’s also very dependent on body language, especially in demonic form.

*It would be nearly impossible for a human to be fluent in the second one because of that. (unless you’re like. A really good mimic?)

* the second one is the oldest language. The new language and it’s written counterpart are derived from it with a little twist, so you’ll still hear some interesting noises thrown in there. It would take some dedication to learn, though the written part is fairly easy once you get the hang of it. It was made to be read quickly and efficiently. The speaking part however...................good luck.

* Demons and angels can instantly pick up human languages including reading and writing. Wouldn’t do you much good to be summoned in like. Germany and not know the language LOL

* Demons purr LOL you can’t click and growl and NOT purr. Like cats, it is both a happy thing and a self soothing thing.

* There is a slight difference between a happy purr and a self soothing purr, but the difference depends entirely on the demon.

* Demons (and angels) are nearly impossible to kill. It’s also very hard to damage them in any meaningful way. They also heal very quickly, so even if you did get a good hit on one, if they managed to get away chances are they’d heal in a matter of hours.

* Stronger demons like the brothers are even MORE impervious to damage. The amount of times Beel’s reached into the oven barehanded just to pop a piping hot cookie in his mouth is insane. He swears it’s the best way to eat them.

* Angels are very stiff but very physically powerful. They have a lot of control over their bodies and are trained from a young age to be able to wield that power responsibly.

* Demons on the other hand are incredibly flexible and bounce back easily. Though your average demon might not be the same physical strength as an angel, they have agility on their side. Angels are heavy hitters where demons rely on their ability to strike multiple times very quickly.

* This was a very weird transition for the brothers, though the amount of strength they had barely changed between realms. Fallen angels don’t change that much strength wise, but a little bit is burned up in the fall (to protect themselves.)

* Angels may be strong but demons also posses a massive amount of strength and have to learn to control it over time. This is known as a “juvenile phase” but it happens at different ages depending on how they were born. Fallen angels do not go through this as they have already learned to keep a grip on their power. Do I have an entire separate post ready about this bc I just couldn’t shut up? Maybe...

* There are four ways of being “born” a demon. Fallen angels, half demons, human borns and natural demons.

* Humans can choose to be turned into demons, but it is a very painful process and they won’t be able to gain any strength, what they get is what the get. They are referred to as “human born” and were considered the lowest of the humanoid demons until Diavolo came into power.

* Human born used to just be made whenever by whoever but that caused problems. Demons would make human borns and then just leave them to flounder about by themselves in an unknown territory. Diavolo’s father put an end to that during his reign, but “accidents” still happen. Now you have to do paperwork if you want to turn your human friend/lover into a demon lol.

* The ceremony for turning humans into demons is incredibly complex, which is why banning making human born unless given permission is less of a problem than you’d think.

* Half demons are just that, they’re only half demon. Most are half human but there are a few other kinds of magical creatures mixed in there. They aren’t as strong as a natural demon nor a fallen angel but they can gain power through their other ancestry. Many of them specialize in unique kinds of magic.

* Half human/demon children aren’t as rare as you’d think they are. This is due to the fact that demons have all sorts of ways to keep a demonic baby alive. Ranging from shapeshifting and (magically) taking the baby themselves once it’s grown enough to handle the transition to various forms of potions and spells to help a human along.

* Half demons and natural demons have the luxury of being born already (mostly) acclimated to the devildom, making some of the transitions that come with a demons lifespan easier on them than human born and fallen angels.

* Angels are taught to control/ignore their instincts where demons are taught to rely on/embrace theirs. Because demonic instincts often work against the things taught in the celestial realm fallen angels have a hard time adjusting to their new environment. Though, as their sins overtake them, their instincts become easier to fall back on.

* Demons have multiple forms, not just the two shown in game. All in all, the brothers have 5, each becoming less and less humanoid.

* Half/human born demons are more likely to have both a tail and wings in their first demonic form. Stronger demons like the brothers are merely showing off the strongest of the two, but everyone has both. (Bc I think they slap LOL *points* u get a tail and wings! *u get a tail and wings*)

* •a demons features can be influenced by what sin they are, but it’s not a hard or fast rule. Don’t be surprised if a demon who looks more akin to Mammon is actually a Sloth demon.***this does not apply to little Ds who’s look is entirely dependent on their sin. Little Ds are an entirely separate conversation 😈

* human borns/half demons can have two sins assigned to them, though this makes them less powerful in both. Usually there is a more prominent sin.

* Diavolo’s rule has helped quite a bit with bringing humans into a new better light, and many natural born demons who haven’t been able to interact with the human realm have become increasingly curious about humans and the way they work. Much of this is due to media that was brought from the human world to sedate Dia’s intense curiosity.

* In the eyes of many older demons, humans are merely playthings and it is expected that most demons will eventually mate with at least one other demon. A human and a demon dating is seen as just infatuation on the demons part, and it’s often thought that there are no real feelings behind a relationship like that. However there have been/are many successful and happy human/demon relationships.

* Demons don’t really have a concept of marriage. They live so long there really isn’t a point to tying yourself to one single person (or a few people) However, that’s not to say that there aren’t relationships like that. There are binding ceremonies for expressing love and devotion to other beings and it has its own unique culture.

* though the gates to the human realm are still technically closed and have been for a long time, demons can still be summoned by witches (sorcerers, wizards, warlocks, whatever you call yourself.) They can also be successfully summoned if you are not a magic user, however this is rare and often can go wrong, much like horror movies.

* Summoning very powerful demons like the brothers is incredibly hard even for an extremely experienced magic user, so often the demon you get claiming to be Satan really isn’t LOL. There are demons who are actually assigned to go to summonings in the place of the seven lords of hell, but many demons will just take on the role to fuck around with whomever summoned them. You think a prince of hell has time to just go possess some object or person for fun? (Ok...Mammon Satan and Belphie might.......if they’re bored enough LOL)

* Demons are actually relatively cuddly creatures. They might be a little rough with strangers but base instincts with family members will always be to coddle rather than fight. They’re more like humans in that right.

* Angels don’t do much casual touching, they’re very uptight. Beel and Belphie being as close as they are was a bit of an oddity in the celestial realm. That’s not to say angels don’t need causal touch lol just that they were trained to avoid that “temptation”.

* the brothers had a hard time starting out in the Devildom because of this. They still have a hard time with casual touches, which is why they seem so touched starved with the MC.

Things I might elaborate on later:

* There is a difference between demons, incubi and succubi but it’s not what you think it is.

* Demons, angels and humans all have very different takes on gender.

* The juvenile phase (DO not tempt me I wrote out like 1000 words about it bc I couldn’t shut the fuck up)

* Animals in the Devildom are fucked up. I WILL fucking talk about this bc it’s my passion.

* Pacts and how they work..........

* Maybe I’ll also elaborate on the hierarchy/power structure of demons sometimes

#I was like that kid WHOS trying not to cough meme I could NOT fucking keep it to myself anymore LOL so now u will all SUFFER my shitty takes #I think abt obm constantly so........if I don’t delete this out of embarrassment tomorrow I might post more.....we’ll see.........sincerely #I fucking might LOL I’m already sweating.#anyway it’s 2:40 am I’m gonna eat this fucking cheese stick and go to bed goodnight bestie (<-u if ur reading this mwah)<3 #mental eelness...........#obey me!#obey me headcanons

148 notes · View notes

wesimpforxiao · 4 years ago

Text

Say My Name and I’ll Be There: 6.1

Twenty-four hours, thirty minutes, ten seconds and counting. Xiao continued to pace outside of Dawn Winery in complete silence. He still hadn't heard a single word from you, and he had stayed awake all night. Not really a sacrifice since he pulled all-nighters frequently, but his hopes were crushed when his long night was filled with nothing but silence.

Inside, Aether approached Diluc rather quickly with Paimon in tow. "How would you like to kill Fatui?"

"I beg your pardon?" Diluc set his glass of grape juice on his desk. He had been busy with mapping the next wine delivery route when they suddenly barged through his doors. He kind of wished they had the kindness to knock, but the desperate glints in their eyes caught him off guard.

"We said, how would you like to kill the Fatui?" Paimon crossed her arms.

"We need to infiltrate Snezhnaya. They took her."

"'Her?'" Diluc raised a brow, already annoyed by the vagueness of their requests.

"Ugh, the same girl from yesterday! Who earned her cryo vision! She was taken last night at your tavern! Didn't you see us all run out?" Paimon's brows furrowed impatiently.

"We need to infiltrate Snezhnaya," Aether repeated and took a step forward. "We can't do it without you on our team."

"Hold on," Diluc waved a hand to silence them. "We can't just infiltrate a foreign country. There are laws and regulations you have to--"

"That's why we came to you!" Paimon yelled. "If anyone can get us in there, it's you and your underground connections!"

"You hate the Fatui more than anything," Aether continued. "Will you help us?"

Diluc thought for a moment while he traced the rim of his glass with his index finger. "We can't recklessly barge into enemy territory. I'll see what intel I can gather. Wait here."

Xiao burst through the doors almost as if he had seen a ghost--actually, that would be an inaccurate metaphor since he's quite experienced with the spirits of the dead. No matter. He burst through the doors as pale as a sheet. "I hear her."

..................................................

You glared at the third plate of food that sat upon the stool Childe left in your cell. You had refused to eat the prior two meals while he was in the cell with you. He had your cuffs unlocked so you could eat, but you refused to move from your place against the wall. Cooked fish, some sort of vegetable, and white rice. They were treating you well. You were needed alive and healthy, after all, but you weren't hungry. And since Childe had finally left you alone, well, that gave you the chance to talk to the only person you could.

Xiao. Xiao! The thought of startling him brought a thin smile to your lips. I wonder if I scared you...I'm safe--well, as safe as I can be at the moment. I miss you... Your smile faded. But I cannot call for you. It's too dangerous; I'm sure they already have a way to capture you. Now that I know you're always listening, it's nice to talk like this. Less lonely.

Something clinked against the outer cell door, and it opened. Childe and one of the harbingers you saw yesterday entered. The latter held a strange white-and-gray mask that obscured everything besides part of his right cheek and lips. His bluish-white hair almost seemed to brighten the small room from how light it was.

"It's a sign of disrespect if you refuse to eat the food provided for you," Childe commented once he saw that your plate was yet again untouched. "We're treating you with more hospitality than our prisoners, after all."

"This is still imprisonment. Screw off," you brought your knees to your chest as if your legs served to protect you from their stares.

"Ah, yes," the other harbinger picked the plate up and placed it at your feet. "My test subject needs to eat. I suggest you do it by your own will before I see to it myself."

"You might want to listen to him." Childe was warning you, but not out of consideration for you.

"Go to hell!" You threw the plate at the new harbinger since he was closest, and covered his tidy suit in food. The white rice mostly clung to the fabric. Thank the archons that your shoulder was healed and your arm could be put to good use now.

"Listen here, you little--" The man grabbed you by the collar and lifted you like you weighed nothing until your feet dangled above the ground. "I don't have the patience of the Tsaritsa's war dog. I do things quite differently, and you are under my jurisdiction now. See to it that you follow my orders to the tee, or I can make things very unpleasant here on out." He dropped you to the floor and exited the cell.

Childe gave you a look of 'I told you so' as he followed suite.

...............................................

What day is it? Your hazy mind stared at the opposite wall. You lazily traced figure-eights over your tattered jeans. Approximately twenty-one meals were served--and wasted-- so maybe it was day seven? A full week of sitting in this barren room?

A few days of no nutrition were of no consequence to you; you were a light eater anyway. But by day five you were beginning to get dizzy from your voluntary starvation. You slept most of the day. The slightest of movements made the world spin around you. Thoughts of giving in and digging into the meals crossed your mind several times.

I will not falter. They will not get what they need from me. I'll starve before they can have me, you gave yourself the pep talk over and over again. The hours that were filled with zero social interaction drove you mad; you'd either talk to yourself, or to Xiao, who you only hoped could still hear you and maybe even reply in his own mind. It was a shame the conversation couldn't go both ways.

"I miss you," you murmured a breath. "If I get out of this, would you like to go eat almond tofu with me?"

Childe entered quietly, and knelt in front of you after giving your full plate the side-eye. "This little hunger strike of yours needs to stop. You need to eat." You didn't answer, and he let out a small sigh. "Il Dottore finished his set-up this morning. I'm sure he'll be ready to take you from under my watch by tomorrow at the latest." He sat down now, and examined you carefully.

I didn't think we'd break her this quickly, he thought. Such a stubborn personality reduced to this pathetic heap of a woman. A slim smile spread across his lips when he realized how much he loved watching you break under the pressure.

"Leave," you breathed.

"You're smarter than I thought, you know." Childe placed his chin on the hand that was propped up on his leg. "If you really thought he had a chance at defeating us, you would have called for Xiao by now. You've isolated yourself from the only person that caught your eye."

That's what you think, you scoffed. I've been talking to him this whole damn time.

"Or have you been praying to him?" Childe's eyes narrowed and the grin on his lips only widened. The small glance you sent him validated his question. "You're telling me that this great and mighty adeptus has heard your suffering, and has yet to do a single thing about it? Are you really sure he's reliable? Oh, ojou-chan," he clicked his tongue and shook his head at you. "He won't neglect his duties to protect Liyue to come save you."

"You don't know him like I do," a bit of fighting spirit entered your hoarse voice, and your eyes began to glow.

"Oh, but I do. An ancient yaksha that's at least half the age of Morax himself, falling in love with a human girl? Is that what you're expecting from him?" The words cut deeper than his blade had cut through your shoulder. "You really believe such a hardened soul could learn to love in as quickly as a single human lifetime? Ojou-chan, open your eyes. He does not care for you, and he couldn't even if he tried. Look around you, ojou-chan. You're still here, in this dark cell, and he's where? In Mondstat? Liyue? He doesn't seem to care all too much about you."

"That's because I told him to stay away," you growled, eyes shining brighter. You curled your fists and prepared to strike him if he had the audacity to continue spewing nonsense. "You know, you have your entire life to be a jerk. Why don't you take today off?"

"Even if he did save you, there's no future with him. You will continue to chase after the illusion of love with him for the rest of your life, only to die alone with your youth wasted. Even if you escaped, you would be on the run for your entire life, hiding away from the preying eyes of the Fatui. Is that worth an escape, if you can no longer truly live?

"You're better off working with us, following Dottore's orders, and gaining the trust of the Tsaritsa. You can make a life for yourself here if you decide to survive. But out there," he pointed toward the cell door. "Out there, you will not live."

"You know, your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth!" You yelled as he exited the cell. Your plate collided with the door right as it closed. Hot tears stained your cheeks once you were left alone.

He's only trying to break you into submission, you soothed yourself as you hugged your legs. They felt thinner than usual. He's just trying to break me. But why do his words...make me feel so upset? You buried your face into your knees. Maybe he's right.

......................................................

"So the guard schedules all overlap? There's no way in?" Paimon looked over the scattered notes on Diluc's table. Most of them held ineligible scribbles on them, and she furrowed her brows because of it.

"This was all you were able to gather in a week?" Aether pulled at his hair and sighed heavily.

"Not many are willing to oppose the Fatui," said Diluc. "It took all my resources to get this much. We don't know the interior layout of the castle other than the main exits and entrances. But I did manage to find us a caravan that leaves at dawn tomorrow."

"Finally!" Paimon huffed. "Something useful!"

"I am sorry I haven't been of use to you all," Zhongli bowed his head in a sincere apology. "It has been years since I've last seen Snezhnaya and the cryo archon." You meant a great deal to the group, and Zhongli probably took your abduction the hardest since he could not intervene with the Tsaritsa and her plans.

"At least we finally have enough of a foundation to squeeze out a plan!"

"Have you heard from her at all today, Xia--?" Aether interrupted himself. "Are...you okay?"

All eyes turned to antisocial yaksha that stood at the back of the room. It was a small thing the traveler had noticed, but it was significant enough that it totally contradicted everything Xiao was.

He was crying.

First, you asked to eat with him when this was all over. Then an overwhelming sense of dread and helplessness flooded his mind like a tsunami. A single tear rolled down his cheek and he hastily wiped it away. A tear?

"Stay out of my way," he disappeared from the room and manifested outside. What was this unfamiliar clenching in his chest? This clenching in his throat? The way his hands tingled and his eyes stung? The afternoon sun seemed to worsen it.

"Xiao," a deep voice spoke behind him, and he turned to face it. Zhongli placed a large hand on the yaksha's head and closed his eyes for a moment. When he released his grip, he too, felt the same pain in his chest.

"She's in pain," the yaksha murmured. "Every day she grows weaker. Her strength, it...diminishes." While it was a blessing to know you were alive, it was also a curse. He could hear the uncertainty in your voice when you prayed, and the way you hesitate to speak to him each passing day. The centuries of hardened walls blocking the yaksha from emotion grew weaker the more you did.

"Your bond has grown," the archon explained the physical and mental phenomena Xiao was being put through. "You feel her emotions, just as she feels yours."

"Rid me of them," Xiao ordered. "I have no need for the emotions of a human."

"She is no longer the only one that holds human emotions. You care for her deeply, do you not?" No answer. Blank stare. "I'm certain you've contemplated and understood my words in Qingce Village by now." Zhongli's eyes followed the ascending path of two cranes flying overhead. "You wish to rescue her, even though Liyue requires your protection? You're worried I won't grant your request?"

"...Yes."

"Worry no longer; it is granted. But be warned, Guardian Yaksha, emotions cannot be permanently ignored. They will rise to the forefront sooner or later," his gaze returned to Xiao's. "You best be sure to share them before they fall on the ears of an early grave."

#xiao x reader #genshin impact #xiao genshin impact #genshin impact xiao #genshin imagines #xiao #xiao fanfiction

225 notes · View notes

thinkingisadangerouspastime · 4 years ago

Note

(pt 1) i really enjoy all your atla analyses & you've done a great job breaking down the usual arguments re how eip shows that kataang shouldn't have happened. i'm curious about your take on one specific argument that i just saw today, in an analysis of the show by a zker that was otherwise quite good and respectful (i know you've already talked about eip a lot, so no problem if you don't feel like rehashing). the premise: aang didn't just pressure katara in eip, he threatened her.

(pt 2) they point to when katara joins aang & asks if he’s alright: “aang: no, i’m not! i hate this play! katara: i know it’s upsetting, but it sounds like you’re overreacting. aang: overreacting? if i hadn’t blocked my chakra, i’d probably be in the avatar state right now!” the suggestion is he’s threatening her when he says ‘i’d probably be in the avatar state right now’ to describe his anger. i think this take exaggerates and oversimplifies it, but interested in your thoughts on it.

Hello my friend!! It is true I am Old inside and don’t like rehashing dhdlksjslks BUT your comments on my posts are always incredibly kind and insightful so I am more than willing to do a bit of rehashing for you 🥰 Besides! I’ve seen this general take before a few times and it’s always irked me for the exact reason you point out - it simultaneously exaggerates and oversimplifies the situation (and honestly that’s an impressive duality since it’s seemingly contradictory, so hats off to them lmaooo) - and now is as good a time as any to address it. So, for starters, let’s go ahead and get the excerpt they love to focus on so much:

Cut to Aang standing alone on a balcony. Katara enters and walks up to him.

Katara: Are you all right?

Aang: [Angered.] No, I’m not! I hate this play! [Yanks his hat off and throws it on the ground.]

Katara: I know it’s upsetting, but it sounds like you’re overreacting.

Aang: Overreacting? If I hadn’t blocked my chakra, I’d probably be in the Avatar State right now!

Here’s the thing about so-called analyses of this excerpt: in a manner extremely convenient to the poster, they never seek to contextualize this moment. (I mean, to do so would deplatform their entire “argument” - perhaps that’s why they avoid performing a full analysis?) So let’s avoid that pitfall from the start.

Firstly, below are some links to related posts; I’m going to do my best to summarize the most relevant parts, but for anyone who desires greater detail, I gotchu 😤

This post explains why EIP (the play, lol) is imperialist propaganda and is intended to belittle the entire Gaang.

This post explains how Aang never acted “entitled” to Katara’s affections, particularly in regard to EIP.

This post breaks down the infamous EIP kiss like Snopes Fact Checker, covering common misconceptions, important perspectives to consider, etc.

Alright. With that out the way, it’s time for some context.

Aang and Katara have this conversation on the balcony after watching 95% of “The Boy in the Iceberg,” a play chock-full of Fire Nation propaganda that demeans the entire Gaang in order to prop up the Fire Nation as superior (hence why the play ends with Ozai’s victory). Here is my general breakdown of Aang and Katara’s treatment in particular from a previous post:

- katara, an indigenous woman, is highly sexualized and portrayed as overly dramatic and tearful, because the fire nation objectifies women not of their own people and views them as less intelligent and less emotionally stable

- aang, the avatar, the sole survivor of the fire nation’s genocide of the air nomads who is incredibly in-touch with his spirituality and femininity, is portrayed as an overly-airy and immature woman. the fire nation portrays him with a female actor to demean him (like, that’s classic imperialistic propagandist tactics) and furthermore writing his character as a childish airhead reinforces the fire nation sentiment that the air nomads were weak, foolish people who did not deserve to exist in their world

In other words, these kids have just watched almost an entire play that preys upon their insecurities and depicts them using racist and sexist stereotypes about their respective nations. It is completely understandable that tensions might run a little high and that their interactions would not be as balanced as usual (Katara and Aang have a great track record of communicating well with each other, as it happens!).

So we have to keep that in mind when examining the aforementioned excerpt. But there are other factors to consider, too! Namely: they are kids. Children. Teens. Aang is 12, Katara is 14.

If we want to be scientific, a person’s brain doesn’t finish developing until they are 25, lmao, and the preteen/teen years are when the prefrontal cortex that controls “rationality,” “judgement,” “forethought,” etc. is still developing. This doesn’t mean Aang and Katara are irrational and make poor decisions 24/7 (obviously not), but it does mean that in an intense, highly emotional situation, like after watching a play that intentionally demeans them and depicts them as inferior, they are more likely to overreact, more likely to be emotional, and more likely to make mistakes. Like, I’m serious, lol. “Teens process information with the amygdala.” That’s part of the brain that helps control emotions! It’s why teens sometimes struggle to articulate what we’re thinking, especially in situations that require instinct/impulse and quick decisions, because we’re really feeling whenever we make those choices. Acting more on emotion. Our brains simply haven’t finished developing the decision-making parts, lmao.

In sum: Aang and Katara are both kids, not adults, and should be interpreted as such. This doesn’t negate their intelligence, because they are both incredibly smart and Aang is arguably the wisest of the Gaang, but they are human. Young humans. They have emotions, and we should not be so cruel as to assume they’d never act on them.

So taking that all together, we can now acknowledge the high stress Aang and Katara are under, understand why they might be upset (*cough* imperialist propaganda is hurtful *cough*), and examine how their youth might play into their emotional reactions. And funny thing - all analyses that come to the conclusion of Aang “threatening” Katara here do not usually bother with this context. I can’t imagine why!

And you know what, let’s add one more piece of context: Sokka states that Aang left the theater “like, ten minutes ago,” which is what cues Katara to go look for him on the balcony. The reason I mention this line is because to me, it suggests Aang knew he was more worked up than usual! He chose to separate himself from his friends so he could process his frustration! He did not take his anger at the play out on them; instead, he purposefully took time and space to be alone.

With that in mind, I don’t understand at all how Aang’s Avatar state quote could be interpreted as a threat? Canonly, Aang is someone who was aware enough of his frustration to separate himself from the others - yet the logical next step is him threatening Katara as a result? He knew his intense emotions were because of the play (which he says himself), so the logical conclusion is that he then pinned the fault on Katara? What?? Sorry, that interpretation has no textual basis, lmao. But I digress!

Aang tells Katara, “If I hadn’t blocked my chakra, I’d probably be in the Avatar State right now!” As you said, this is the line people point to in an attempt to justify their (baseless) conclusion that Aang is “threatening” Katara. So let’s bring in the two key pieces of context: imperialist propaganda and age. Given that Aang is 12, and given that Aang has just watched almost a full play that demeans him and everything his people stood for (and let’s not forget it also mocks his and Katara’s love for each other)…

His reaction is understandable. An exaggeration and needlessly dramatic, but understandable. He feels vulnerable and insecure and Aang is human. He is human and flawed and he overreacts here and I love that A:TLA shows how even our heroes, even people who are truly good at heart and in soul, can get overly upset (especially given the aforementioned circumstances!). Would Aang actually be in the Avatar state at that moment, had it been possible? Of course not! He’s young and he’s hurt and as such he says something dramatic to convey his anxieties and frustrations. The line is not meant to be taken literally, and seeing people do so despite all the factors that should be taken into consideration when analyzing it… Cue a long, tired sigh from me and so many other A:TLA fans.

And to be honest? I cannot fathom how people watch this episode and come to the conclusion that Aang is “threatening” Katara. To me, this episode - besides being a recap episode - is one that humanizes our cast even further. Aang snaps at Katara, kisses her when he shouldn’t (which the story appropriately treats as wrong). Katara pushes down her true feelings and retreats into herself, afraid to start a relationship with the boy she loves because she’s already lost him once before and can’t bear to do so again. Zuko further confronts the hurt he’s enacted upon others, especially upon Iroh. Toph practices being vulnerable and accepting vulnerability from others by conversing with Zuko. Sokka witnesses how others have erased his contributions and labelled him as nothing more than the token nonbender in the group. Even Suki learns that she is not the only person who holds a place in Sokka’s heart and that she can never replace what he has lost.

To watch this episode where our heroes must come to terms with how the Fire Nation deems them inherently inferior, with how they have more fights to overcome in the future with the Fire Nation than a single war, and to come to the conclusion that… that what, Aang is abusive? A monster? Irredeemable? That he would threaten his best friend, someone he loves in every way?

Wow. That says more than enough about the viewer, doesn’t it?

#getting back into the swing of things babey ✌️#aang #katara #kataang #kataangtag #the ember island players #atla #avatar the last airbender #amy answers #dramaticowl #amy analyzes #also i am speaking in GENERAL TERMS here lmaooo this is not a direct response to any one post 😂😂

112 notes · View notes

antiloreolympus · 3 years ago

Text

A Submission about the LO Book

(From OP: I haven’t read the book since I’m not paying for it so I can’t confirm if everything here is 100% accurate at the moment.)

-----Spoiler Warning for the Bonus Chapter-----

So I was at the bookstore today and came across LO the book version and people are right - the formatting of the webtoon into a book leaves for a Lot of extra white space and its not adjusted to fit the book format so some of the images are discolored and other times the dialogue is in very tiny hard to read print. There IS a mature content warning at the beginning though, (which is nice) but also theres an extra chapter at the back and hoo boy. RS literally cannot write a single thing without shoehorning HxP in can she? She cut it because the chapter was supposed to focus on Hera and all it did was focus on HxP imaginary scenarios.

Basically what happens is its Heras birthday and Hades brings along Minthe, who is Actually Nice and Respectful of Hera, who treats her like garbage in return and says something along the lines of she "needs more alcohol if shes going to be interacting with nymph trash" (and Amphitrite is Right There too). Anyway Hades brings her the fur coat that he eventually gifts to Persephone and Hera has a vision of Hades getting married (to Persephone, and their outfits are the blandest thing ive ever seen, I'm sorry, but - Hades is dressed like a military dictator and Persephone's outfit looks, well, boring and plain) and Hera is frustrated because she wants to see who Hades is marrying in the vision but Perse is wearing a veil and the vision ends, thus she returns the gift to Hades saying she cant accept it because she thinks he'll need it in the future (so I guess Hera is technically responsible for setting up HxP in the first place).

Although, I am curious - Hera seems to have issues with Minthe (a nymph) for dating Hades (because shes a nymph) but does anyone else get the vibe that shes judgy of Minthe also because shes having / had an affair with Hades and it was implied she (Hera) still had feelings for Hades?

So basically there was an entire chapter that was meant to center around Hera (and her birthday) and all it did was give Hera the 'a-ok' to be good with HxP in the first place (long before she had that conversation with Hades, Zeus and Poseidon in the strip club / bunch meeting) and set it up so Hera could be HxP's marriage cheerleader in the future).

Also also the book description is something... - it says persephone, a goddess who was raised in the mortal realm gets permission from her mom to hang out with the other gods if she goes through with being a sacred virgin and gets swept up in political intrigue and relationship turmoil - but all we've seen so far is Perse meeting Hades, going to school, getting r*ped, running from said r*pist and now a murder trial (at least without all the subplots and filter) so I ask - what high stakes political intrigue?? They make it sound almost like a romance spy thriller of a rookie being caught up in a world they know nothing about - but again, the story seems to mostly be small moments over time with little actual moving forward plot elements??

Idk, thoughts?

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lo book

37 notes · View notes

royallyprincesslilly · 4 years ago

Text

Title: Healthy Competition***

Regé-Jean Page x Reader x Trevor Noah

Warning: Cursing. SMUT. Threesome. NSFW AT ALL. DP. Oral.

Words: 5k

Summary: Non-Covid world. End of Summary.

Note: I cannot be stopped. This is my first dip into either of these two on here. I tried to talk myself out of this, but I have no self-control. This is probably an acquired taste, but fuck it, I wrote this for my sanity.

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy this.

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG ❤️❤️

**Loosely Edited/Proofread**

**Slightly Interactive**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“A toast to Regé, our good friend who we’re out celebrating tonight. Every guy should hide their girlfriends tonight because Mr. Steal your girl has arrived,” Trevor teased.

Regé snorted and dropped his head back, laughing at his friend of almost ten years. He was absolutely ridiculous.

“Mate, you think you’re hilarious, don’t you?”

Trevor shrugged, “I mean, I am the comedian here, so--.”

He shook his head. “You’re not a very good one,” he teased back.

“Well, your tastes are slightly askew than the rest of the world. You are British after all,” Trevor quipped, making him and their shared friends bust out laughing.

“Oh, shut up. You’re the only one who has a problem with me being British, though we all know my Zimbabwean side would outperform your watered-down South African any day. The ladies prefer full strength over all else,” he slid home.

Trevor laughed loudly, slinking to the side as he snickered. He knew he had him but knew Trevor would have some comeback. This was their usual banter.

“Why do I smell a wager coming on? I feel like you’re saying you can get any woman in here to choose you over me.”

He knocked back his drink with a smile. “Maybe I am saying it.”

He watched Trevor gulp down his drink as their friends looked at each other with a cautious eye.

“All right, enough. Y'all remember the last time this happened,” Adam interjected.

“The last time? How about every time,” Marcus added before he took a sip from his glass.

“Remember that girl in Brazil, that one we met on Ipanema Beach, she owned the beach shack,” Adam reminded.

He remembered, and a few seconds after he did, he saw when Trevor did. His snickers returned.

“There was nothing wrong there,” Trevor pointed out.

“Yeah, because you won, proceeded to rub it in all night.”

“You couldn’t even bother to close the door of the shack. You just wanted me to hear her,” he said, shaking his head as the memory washed over him.

They’d gone back and forth with her all night. Each of them laid their game out, charmed her, put in their best work. He went to grab them all another round of beers and came back, and her small shack was shaking as her moans filled the night sky. Trevor’s laugh brought him out of his thoughts, making him roll his eyes.

“See, that’s why we’re not doing this,” Marcus finished.

“You’re not still salty about that, Regé, are you?”

He shook his head and raised his hands. “Not at all. you win some, and lose some.”

“One day, the two of you are going to pull this on someone who will make you two the competition,” Adam professed, making he and Trevor laugh.

“It’s not like we swindle anyone, there is consent, and everyone knows what to expect and not expect,” he threw out as he stood.

“Where you going?”

“Refill,” he said, holding his glass up to show its empty state.

He walked out of their section of the VIP area toward the VIP bar slipping through the crowd, making sure to not bump into anyone. When he was mere steps from the bar, someone bumped him from behind, sending him lunging forward, knocking into the back of someone else. He heard a gasp and automatically thought he’d spilled someone’s drink. Sliding beside the stranger, he leaned closer.

“I’m so sorry.”

You turned to him, pulling an oversized candy cane from your mouth. Instantly his eyes dropped to your mouth and that candy cane that slowly revealed itself to be several inches long. When he clocked that it was about seven inches or so that you’d pulled out of your mouth, he lost every single thing he was thinking, even his bloody name.

“Mmm, almost went too far,” you said, with a smile before you put the tip of the candy cane into your mouth. He instantly wanted to put something too far.

He watched you raise your glass to your lips before you put it back to the bar’s surface, and in went the candy cane. He was speechless, and it was something that rarely happened.

“Uh—I’m—sorry.”

You smirked and swiveled the stool to face him again and perched the candy cane to the side of your plump painted lips, and spoke. “You said that already.”

The way the red, white, and green colors of the candy cane looked with your lipstick made him wonder how other things looked with it. Clearing his throat, he looked away to behind the bar where all the bottles of liquor rested. He wasn’t trying to decide on what he wanted to drink. He was trying to gain some composure.

He heard your snort beside him. “Cat got your tongue?”

He looked to you, zeroed in on your eyes, and rose a brow. “What’s got your tongue?”

You smiled slowly, then pulled out that damned candy cane making your lips make that juicy puckered kiss sound.

“This candy cane at the moment.”

You stared at him as if silently daring him to say something to it. He smiled and nodded his head. “You brought a candy cane to a club?”

“It came with the drink,” you said, bringing the confection to the red-tinted liquid before you.

He watched you stir the liquid and return the candy cane to its rightful place—against your tongue for you to lick it slowly. He didn’t know what the hell was wrong with him. It was a damn candy cane.

“What can I get you?”

Before he could speak, you did.

“You look like a fun guy no matter what that crisp accent says. May I?”

He studied you for a few moments, then shrugged before he motioned for you to go ahead. You trailed the candy cane along your bottom lip as you looked over the bottles that lined the wall. You looked like you were in deep thought, and he made a note of how adorable you looked with your perfectly crinkled eyebrows, pursed lips, and fist resting on your jaw.

“Okay, I just need to know two things,” you began.

He smirked and sat on the stool next to you. “And what is that?”

You turned to him again. The crossing of your legs brought his eyes down to see the tempting split in the dress you wore. The luster of your skin raised the temptation he was feeling. He imagined how his hand looked on your body. It was the wrong thought at the wrong time because it made it impossible for him to look into your eyes again. He did, though, and when he did, he saw the mischievous glint in your eyes. He knew then, you were dangerous.

“Your name and favorite color.”

“Why my favorite color?”

“If you tell me red, chances are you like strawberry undertones. If blue, maybe a blueberry or blackberry.”

“What if it’s orange?”

“Then we should end this conversation now and go our separate ways because no one can pull off orange anything.”

He snorted and laughed. He liked you.

“Safe to say red is yours?” he nodded to your drink as his clue.

“Wrong, but this is about you. So tell me.”

“Regé and grey.”

Your eyes widened. “Regé as in reggae music?”

He nodded but didn’t speak.

“Wow, nice. I thought it was something stuffy like Albert.”

“Just ’cause I’m British?”

You smiled and shrugged. “And your favorite color, Regé, is grey.” I’m tempted to say grey isn’t a color, but okay. He’ll have that fifty shades of grey cocktail you tried to give me earlier.”

“Uh-oh, something fruity, huh.”

“Let’s add an extra shot for Mr. adventurous,” you added.

Turning his attention to you, he licked his lips and watched you devour that candy cane.

“What’s your name?”

You smiled and pulled the candy out of your mouth. “Y/N.”

He held his hand out for yours and waited for you to take it. Once you did, he shook it, never taking his eyes off of yours.

“You’re beautiful,” he said.

You didn’t speak for several moments, and he wondered if he should have kept that to himself.

“Yes,” you said.

“Yes? Yes, what?”

You sucked the candy cane back into your mouth and took a sip of your drink. “Yes, I’ll let you buy me another drink.”

Ten minutes came and went, then fifteen, and he was in no hurry to go back to his friends. Your conversation was entertaining and titillating. You held his attention easier than any other had. Not to mention everything you did had his heart pounding. Once you’d finished that damn candy cane, your glass was what brought his attention to your mouth. When the drinks were finished, his eyes roamed your exposed shoulders, cleavage, and thigh until his palms itched to touch.

“I see what’s been holding you hostage, over here.” Trevor’s hand rested on his shoulder as he stood to there to his left.

“Hostage? Hardly,” you responded with a smile.

“I’m Trevor,” he said, holding his hand out to you.

After a few seconds, you took it and let him shake it.

“Trev here is a good friend of mine,” he began before taking a sip of his third drink. “Meet Y/N.”

Trevor smiled again. “What a beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”

He couldn’t help but smile. He knew the game had begun. However, he’d had a twenty-minute head start. He watched Trevor order you another drink before suggesting you moved from the bar to go back to their section. You didn’t answer right away, and he didn’t know what you’d decide.

“I’ll meet you there. I have to freshen up,” you said, pointing toward where the restrooms were.

He pointed to where their section was before you walked off.

“May the best African win,” Trevor said, holding out his hand, making him roll his.

~~~~~~~

-Y/N-

You made sure to reapply your lipstick and rearrange your hair as you inspected your face. Pleased that your products were holding up, you stood there just staring at yourself, making a plan. They thought they were slick, you thought to yourself.

MSG Fifi: He looked hooked.

You smirked.

MSG: He’s hot.

MSG Fifi: So is his friend. What’s the plan?

You thought for a few moments because you hadn’t decided yet.

MSG: I’m going to go have a little fun. I’ll let you know.

You adjusted your dress then walked out of the bathroom. In the loud club again, you looked around, trying to remember when they’d pointed. You didn’t remember. Suddenly you felt a body behind you and a hand on your hip.

“Lost?”

The sexy British accent told you just who it was. Smiling, you bit your bottom lip, deciding you liked how he felt pressed up on you.

“What if I said I was?”

You could feel his breath at your ear and smell the hint of grape and vodka.

“I’ll find anything you want me to,” Regé groaned, making you tilt your head back to look at him over your shoulder.

“Anything?”

He smirked then licked his lips. “I’m not if not a gentleman. Anything, Y/N.”

The look in his eyes had you frozen in place, wishing he’d bring his large hand lower. You scoffed and got yourself under control

“Good to know,” you said before walking away, leaving him to follow behind you.

Once Regé led you to the VIP section, Trevor stood holding your drink to you. Having not been born yesterday, you asked a passing waitress for a fresh drink. Neither of them took offense. When you sat, you were in the middle of both men and able to appreciate the beauty that you both were. They could have passed for brothers, and when they assured you that they weren’t, you relaxed a little more.

After an hour, you’d learned quite a few things about both men. You leaned that while Regé had this overwhelming sensual vibing coming off him, he tended to hang back physically, but his eyes were all intensity, and you could tell he preferred words. When it came to Trevor, he approached things differently. He was a flirt through and through, and you could tell he preferred touch.

They were both like opposite sides of a coin, and you couldn’t decide which side you preferred. Some days called for heads and others tails. One thing was sure; they were both feeling you, and neither of them could hide it. It was in the way Trevor touched you with sly touches and in the way Regé reacted when you went close to him to whisper something or bit your bottom lip.

Two hours and countless drinks later, you still sat there with the two men, and you’d all but made up your mind. Regé leaned to you and whispered in your ear before he met your eyes. Nodding, you took his hand and let him lead you to the dance floor. Once you got to a semi-secluded spot, the song changed to Teyana Taylor’s new school version of Tell me what you Want, and you watched him bop to the beat while keeping on point. You were impressed.

Regé spun you around, so your back pressed to his chest and his hands wrapped around you. he smelled incredible, almost as incredible as he felt. That was when your movements synced together and slowed. You were now swaying from side to side. You began circling your hips against him and let him hold your hands in the air as you got into it. Regé came to your ear and whispered.

“Tell me what you want.”

Your panties were instantly wet. Fuck, you thought. In front of you, you watched Trevor approach the two of you. Once he was in front of you, the song changed again, and the slowest, sexiest tune came on. The lights in the club changed to a deeper hue of red. Trevor came so close that his face was just inches from yours. His hand wrapped around the small of your back, pulling you against him.

Goddamn, you thought as he moved your body how he wanted it. Your eyes met, and Trevor’s hand clasped your jaw in his large but soft hand. Slowly he slid his hand across your skin before you felt a hand on your hip spin you around. Your back was now pressed to Trevor’s chest while Regé was the one who was now inches from your lips.

The two men sandwiched you between them, each focusing on different parts of you. Trevor’s hand was wrapped around your abdomen, searing absentminded circles on the material of the dress you wore, while Regé’s was squeezing your hip, sinking in his fingertips, so they marked you. Trevor’s jaw pressed to your ear, which Regé’s was resting against your cheek on the other side of your face. You doubted anyone could tell where you began and either of them stopped. When you felt a pair of lips press against your right ear, your breath hitched in your throat.

Pulling back slightly, you gazed into Regé’s sultry almond-shaped eyes, and your hand balled the fabric of his shirt at his waist, hoping to control yourself.

“Tell me what you want,” Regé repeated.

Fuck it; you thought as you brought your lips to his kissing him with the scorching energy that was between the three of you. Regé delved his tongue into your mouth, wrapping it around yours, and it was then his hand slid lower on your hip and snaked back to your ass. As he cupped it, you released a moan unable to contain it any longer. When he sucked your tongue, you pulled back and nibbled his bottom lip. His moan caught you off guard and only fueled your steadily uncapping desire.

You felt Trevor behind you begin to pull away from you, no doubt feeling like the loser of their masculine competition of the night. That was when you pulled from Regé’s lips and pulled him back to close the space he’d created. You had both men’s undivided attention, and the power you felt was unmatched. Bringing your lips to Trevor’s, you kissed him with the same fire you had Regé seconds ago.

Again, you held control of this kiss. Trevor allowed you to decide just what you wanted to do, and it was probably going to be his downfall for the night. You bit his bottom lip, and his moan swam in your mouth, making you eat it like a succubus taking his life force. The decision was made.

You pulled away and found their eyes on you. Smirking, you turned with their hands in yours and led them through the crowd. You were thankful you’d decided on the club inside the hotel rather than the other one you and Fifi were thinking of. Once in the hotel’s lobby, you beelined it to the elevator bank and wondered if they were at this hotel too. As the elevator doors opened, you stepped on and waited for either of them to press a button. This was their turn to make a decision.

You pretended not to notice them give each other a look before Regé stepped forward and pressed nineteen. You smirked and rode up in silence. Interestingly enough, the elevator made no stops until it came to the nineteenth floor. You let them lead you, this time keeping a few feet behind them. You could feel their angst as they exchanged looks every few steps, no doubt trying to formulate a plan. It’s funny they still thought they were in control.

The two stopped at the door at the end of the hall then opened it. Regé was the one holding the door open, and Trevor stood on the other side, letting you walk in. You glanced at both men, smirked then walked inside. You walked toward the bar you saw in the corner, then took up two bottles before you continued walking through the suite. You knew the layout was similar to yours, so you just walked where you expected the bedroom to be.

Finding it easily, you walked in and found some music on the bedside table system, another easy feat thanks to apple music coming with every room. You pulled two chairs in front of the large window of the bedroom. You then walked to both of them and led them each to a seat.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

You smiled at Regé’s sweetness and went toward him to sit on his lap.

“Would you like me to leave?”

He shook his head.

“Then tell me what you want.”

His lip quirked up at the side. He had to remember his words to you a little while ago.

“Will you give it to me?”

You kissed him again. as soon as your lips touched, his hands were cupping your ass, pulling you closer onto his lap. You felt the strain of his manhood against his jeans, and the anticipation had your sex quivering. Groaning, you pulled away and walked to the window. You put the bottles you held on the floor and turned to them.

“Since you like competitions so much, the first one to move loses.”

Trevor and Regé looked at each other quizzically. They didn’t get it yet. You untied the neck of the dress and slowly brought the straps down, careful not to allow it to fall from your body yet. Though the light in the room was scarce, you could tell the desire in both men’s eyes. You walked to Regé then turned your back to him.

You swayed your hips from side to side to the rhythm of the music bringing yourself down to the floor before coming back up to bend in front of his face. Peeking behind you, Regé’s jaw was clenched so tightly that you thought it had to hurt. You stood and swayed again to the sounds of Sabrina Claudio. In no time, you were lost in the music bringing your hands to the back of your neck, letting the straps hang around your waist.

Turning to them, you heard both audibly exclaim.

“Fuck.”

The accents were entirely different but sexy nonetheless.

“Something wrong?”

You stood between Trevor’s legs, topless, and circled your hips while doing your best snake charmer dance. You deemed it was acceptable because neither of them gave any indication otherwise.

“You’re gorgeous,” Trevor whispered.

You could see his hands clenching the arm of the chair and wondered just how much control he had in him. You pushed the dress off your hips and stood there in your thong.

“Fucking hell,” Regé uttered when you turned your back to them. Using the strong knees you were blessed with, you brought yourself low and popped a baby twerk, not wanting to give either of them a heart attack. Every time you changed the direction of your hips, you looked over a shoulder to watch them watch you. They looked absolutely tortured.

You walked to Trevor and stood there but stared at Regé. You motioned for him to come to you, and in seconds, he was by your side. You kissed him, taking the time to tease him with each passing second while noting he was a great kisser.

“Lay right there,” you said, pointing to the spot between your feet. Regé obeyed, then you dipped down to your knees, your sex hovering over Regé’s mouth. You were about to speak, but shock cut you off.

Regé wrapped his arms around your hips where your thighs met them and buried his face between your legs.

“Oh fuck!”

That was not the end of your shock because seconds later, you felt a wet velvety tip brush against your lips. You opened your eyes and came face to face with the impressiveness that was Trevor’s dick. You opened your mouth to speak, but a sharp stab of pleasure between your legs prohibited it. Your mouth fell open, and Trevor pushed himself into your mouth.

You almost laughed. They were the dream tag team. The room quickly filled with moans and groans as you pleased Trevor and Regé pleased you. The way his tongue flicked against your clit was quickly bringing you closer and closer to your first orgasm of the night. You knew if they had anything to say about it, you’d have more.

“Shit, your mouth—it’s—incredible,” Trevor panted, rolling his head back.

Not relenting, you bobbed your head faster on Trevor’s cock, taking him as far as you could. He grabbed your head and held it in place, then fucked your mouth, making you gag every so often.

“Uuuug!”

When he released your head you continued the pace and moaned on his flesh from the pleasure Regé was giving you but also the pleasure you got from giving it to Trevor. When you felt gentle nibbles, you pulled back and gasped, then began using your hands.

“Oh, fuck, yes! Right there, mmmm!”

Regé sucked your clit into his mouth as he reached up to one of your breasts to pinch your nipple. Following suit, Trevor did the same to the other, and that pushed you over the edge. Your screech was loud as it filled the room and probably the hall outside. Bucking your hips against his mouth, you rode his face as it was meant to be ridden.

When you rolled off of Regé and collapsed to the floor, the men stood and surrounded you. Regé went to your head while Trevor between your legs. You watched him sheath himself with a condom before he met your eyes.

“Are you sure?”

You nodded before you reached to palm Regé’s pulsating and impressive member. As your mouth slid along Regé’s length, Trevor’s slid inside your heated core, stretching you deliciously before filling you perfectly with his thickness.

“Good god,” Trevor whispered, hovering over you to catch his breath.

“You’re so tight, Y/N,” Trevor moaned, beginning to circle his hips.

With a full mouth, you were unable to speak and instead used the pleasure you felt to return it tenfold to Regé. His head lulled back while his jaw dropped, and he grunted, sending the last few inches of his need into your throat. You fought your gag the best you could. Trevor then sped his thrusts. Each time he connected your bodies, your breasts swung, and your sex clenched around him, gripping him like a vise.

Soon your moans and mumbles made it almost impossible to properly enjoy what Regé had to offer, so your hands to make up for the job your mouth couldn’t do. Trevor’s thrusts got rougher, and in seconds you’d come for the second time. Using your feet to push him off, you stood and crawled onto the bed. While lying there, you watched both men slowly approach you. Regé was the one between your legs this time while Trevor was beside you.

Trevor wrapped his lips around a pert nipple, then sucked, licked, and nibbled it. As your mewls spilled from your lips, Regé still had yet to move an inch. He kneeled there, rubbing the tip of his cock across your soaking slit.

“You’re so wet. Show me, Y/N.”

You slinked your fingers between your legs and dipped one inside to show him the evidence of your overwhelming arousal. He smiled, then sucked your finger into his mouth before he thrust forward in one powerful move.

“Fuck!”

The men ravaged you, one with their mouth and the other with their skillful appendage. Where Trevor was girthy and nicely proportioned, Regé had been blessed with girth and an overabundance of length. It didn’t take much for you to come again and again and again. When you rolled onto Regé to take control, you took your time crippling Trevor as he stood in front of you.

The room was sweltering, and your bodies were slick with sweat, so every move the three of you made, the sound of bodies rubbing together echoed throughout. If it wasn’t the slickness of skin, it was the squelching of your wetness as they plowed into you or you rode them into oblivion.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

The feel of both men nestled snugly in your tight trove was close to have to see stars. You crashed your lips to Regé, who was underneath you while Trevor was behind. He pumped more vigorously into you, making you pant and whine with each connection. Trevor, not being the one to be outdone, slammed into you, coaxing that spot in you that you knew would soon have you combust into a million specks of dust as you floated the galaxy.

“I’m coming,” Regé and Trevor both shouted as if competing for who could say it louder. You rocked your hips against Regé while slamming back onto Trevor. You intended to bring both men to their knees, but after a few movements, you realized that you’d come undone just as ferociously.

“Come for me, Y/N!”

Shivering, you tried to ignore the command as you repeated your actions over and over. Underneath you, Regé bit your nipple, and behind you, Trevor your shoulder. Either way, these men intended to sear their marks into your flesh. Something about that was so fucking hot. You sped your movements, and that was when your body shook.

“Fuck!”

Both men shook with you and released such loud grunts and groans that rivaled your own whining. Your orgasm was expected but what was not expected was how long it continued. After a minute, you were still coming with both men still trying to secure themselves as deeply into you as possible. Both thrust into you once more, and that was all you could handle before stars erupted behind your eyelids, making you clench around both of them.

Trevor and Regé gasped and hissed before the three of you dropped onto the bed. You were between them as all three of you tried to catch your breaths.

Your eyelids were heavy, your limbs tense, muscles tight, and between your legs sore. You couldn’t move even if you wanted to. So you didn’t.

~~~~~~~

-The Next Morning-

When you opened your eyes, the sun had yet to rise from behind the high rise next to the hotel. It took several moments for your vision to return clearly. When it did, you looked around, recognizing you were not alone. You felt a body nestled to your back and one in front of you. You froze, not wanting to stir anyone awake. You didn’t want a whole morning after thing. This was not what this was. It took you some time to slither from the clutches of the gorgeous men you’d spent the night with.

Once free you stood there for a few moments and took them in. Trevor was on his side back to the window completely bare assed. It was a nice one too. His arm was thrown over his head leaving only part of his face visible. He looked adorable asleep. Regé was on his back, one arm over his head tucked underneath the pillow he rested his head-on. That was where your head had laid, right on his chest as if it belonged there.

You shook off any attachment that was trying to creep its way in. You didn’t often do things like this, matter of fact, this was downright as rare as a blue moon. However, you hated the cliché of women who got attached after clear one night stands. You never wanted to be one of them because you knew for a fact men always laughed at them. You wouldn’t be that cliché, you thought to yourself. You gave the men one last look, then turned to gather your things.

Once dressed and inside the elevator, you smiled to yourself. They really thought they picked you up when in fact, you’d heard their friendly competitive banter and decided a little fun was in order. Seeing how the night went, it was safe to say you were the real winner.

MSG Fifi: Everything okay?

You smiled to yourself.

MSG: Pussy put their ass to sleep. Call me, NyQuil.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TagList:

@chaneajoyyy @caramara3 @night-of-the-living-shred @mauvecherie @areubeingserved @queenoftheworldisdead @ramp-it-up @i-just-like-fanfics @give-me-a-million-dollars-pls @wondersofdreaming @koko-michelle

#risk it all fic #regé jean page #rege jean page fanfiction #trevor noah #trevor noah fanfiction #black fanfiction #healthy competition fic

240 notes · View notes