#I’m so damn tired right now!
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So a very minor nitpick on Helluva Boss….
I know I said I should only ramble with a sideblog for Helluva boss and Hazbin hotel to put a lot of u criticisms in (it’s not gonna be like an anti blog or anything, the show is still very much a guilty pleasure for me) but I just feel like getting this out of my system
I recalled seeing a critical post about Helluva boss’s lack of music diversity and how we sadly don’t see much other music genres than generic pop songs and musical numbers… They mentioned how they wish they saw more metal music and all of that and it reminded me why I have a massive issue with the show’s misusage of the word goth.
I don’t think anyone outside of the goth subculture or most people (even critical blogs) know this, but goth isn’t really a fashion aesthetic. Just like with metal, punk, and grunge, it’s a music based subculture that originated from the punk movement during the late 70s and on forward gave birth to goth as we all know.
That being said, it’s why I have a massive issue with the show labeling Loona and Octavia being goth, when they literally don’t even show signs of listening to goth music (like the Bauhaus, The Cure..) and mostly just get emo or pop songs.
Loona to me just comes off more like an emo girl than a goth, not even a mallgoth (since mallgoths are more like metalheads) since she’s shown to like bands like My Chemical Romance and even the song when searching for Octavia gave odd 2000s emo vibe. Why couldn’t y’all just went with calling her emo instead of goth 🙃🙃🙃
Now Octavia to me, could come off as a baby bat exploring the goth subculture but she always plays pop music for her and idk… I get it, most baby bats won’t be familiar with goth music right away but idk it be nice to hear those themes.
That being said, Helluva Boss isn’t the only cartoon guilty of this. Majority of cartoons in general were always made by normie people and they don’t know much about the goth subculture and only relied on stereotypes normal people have about goths.
However, there are adult cartoons that actually did research better when writing goth characters and giving them more accurate music that fits them.
Take the South Park goth kids for an example
In their room, you notice a poster that’s called Skippy Puppy and the Blauhaus, which are spoof bands of real bands called Skinny Puppy and The Bauhaus which are two bands that are very much liked by goths (bauhaus being the first goth band that gave birth to goth, and skinny puppy is more industrial than goth, we consider that goth adjacent since back in the 90s, goth and industries music were very much mashed together in goth clubs )
Even by character designs, Michael and Henrietta were modeled after Robert Smith and Siouxsie Sioux, who were very much the big time iconic goth musicians.
Matt and Trey themselves are huge fans of the Cure and even had a cameo of Robert smith and even hung out with goths before, so you can see why they got a depiction of them to notch. And the whole thing with them and the vamp kids was a real thing that happened with the 90s with goths and mall goths, i suggestion checking out Angela Benedict’s video for that.
Another example is Venture Bros since Triana believe it or not, is very much an accurate depiction of a goth. And they even referenced bands like the Bauhaus, Alien, Nik Fiend, and Deathrock music as some of Triana’s interests.
But the big kicker is Triana herself, is voiced by Lisa friggin Hammer!
For anyone who doesn’t know, Lisa hammer was an iconic goth musician during the 90s and was in two ethereal wave bands known as Mors Siphlitica and Requiem in White. The fact they had her voice their goth character shows me they did their research.
Even Seth McFarlene got this right (yes you heard me) with American Dad with Debbie and her goth peers, not only making her a very down to earth person but they made their main theme “Love will Tear us Apart” from Joy Division
For those that may not know, Joy Division is one of the Big 5 of goth bands along with the the Bauhaus, the Cure, Sioxusie and the Banshees, and Sisters of Mercy. So I was surprised that Seth got this right, since he’s known to stereo things in his shows.
And of course we also have Daria, with having two goth characters and no I don’t mean Daria and Jane. (Having a cynical personality doesn’t make you a goth) But rather do I mean Andrea and Trent
She was so obviously modeled after Robert Smith and Siouxsie Sioux since those two were very iconic with goth fashion back on the day, we sadly don’t see much of her but you can tell they took inspiration.
And you may be thinking, but why Trent? He doesn’t even dress goth and just seems like he likes any music. While he’s that may be true, but I Remeber having this conversation with other goths in Instagram where we had a huge disccuin of goth characters in fiction. And one of my peers mentioned Trent also counts because he’s shown to have an interest in goth music if you look at his bedroom. So I thought I check out and what do you know
There’s a poster of Bauhaus and Sisters of Mercy inside his bedroom :) and honestly guys, there are actual goths like this I knew in real life. Where they don’t dress the part but are still a huge fanatic of the music. Like you don’t need to dress all dark to be goth, that’s optional, you just really need to enjoy goth music to be goth.
And of course we have Serena from Downtown who actually was not only based off of a goth in real life, but she’s shown interests in goth bands like Dead Can Dance and a satire of Sisters of Mercy as shown here.
The Brothers of Creation is basically a parody of sisters of Mercy. But not only that, she even brought up on one episode how she got tired of goths being badly judged and stereotyped by others (even being lumped by Masonites, which we all know how controversial Marilyn Manson was back then and how his fanbase ignited a horrible stereotype about goths. He was never a goth artist, but normies had the assumption that all goths are like him and his fanbase based on how they just dress similar to goths) and her annoyance with neckbeards that thirst over goth women just makes her relatable to me. Since sadly, there are many men that creep on goth women like us and we get tired of it.
Now honestly, it really should not be that hard to add some goth music to give for Loona and Octavia. They do that modern day humor so much with Instagram and tik tok, they literally could had use a parody of Dusty from Vision Video (who’s a very popular goth tik toker and even has his own bad that’s very similar to the cure) and given we have knowledge now, this amount of research to write goth characters SHOULD NOT BE THAT HARD.
But you know, all would be forgiven if they don’t have hints of liking goth music if they just made Loona a lot more likable. My main pet peeve with her is that she comes off as a negative stereotype of goths that a lot of us don’t like. It just gives normies a really bad idea of us that we are all shitty people.
So anyways rant over, Vivziepop REALLY needs to try and branch out different music genres or research alternative subcultures better before making goth characters.
#helluva boss critical#vivziepop critical#spindlehorse critical#hazbin hotel critical#yes I’m aware this has been an issue for a lot of cartoons and not just this show#but as someone who’s been in the goth subculture since 2013#this is super frustrating#we have information now to know more about goth#just tired of people depicting goths so bad#like damn get our music tastes right at least#or don’t potray as the way normies see us as negative stereotypes
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vent. sorry i’m honesty hangry and upset
actually i’m still annoyed. has anyone in this damn fandom heard of filtering tags. for shit. they don’t like
also like not to be ‘what about’ but seriously if your biggest problems are fucking shipping wars on tumblr dot com i envy you. truly.
#misc: personal text#also not to Make It Like That but like#a lot of the people i know who like making art about the legion and/or caecade and vulcade#are people of color as well. like do y’all not hear yourselves. asking racially marginalized people who have historically experienced#slavery/forced cultural assimilation#and a host of other issues#if they LIKE SLAVERY and APPROVE of it IN REAL LIFE#fiction can inform reality yes but truly? it is not that deep. some people like dark themes in fiction. be okay with it#i’m indigenous. much of the legion’s narrative is specifically anti-indigenous. i am *literally the product of genocide*#i still enjoy exploring stories with it. because i can choose to like things. or not like them.#some people like to explore unhealthy dynamics in fiction. that does not mean they approve of it.#and DO NOT come at me saying ‘wuh wuh wuh well that means you approve of csam and you’re a pro shipper’ or whatever the fuck people are#saying now. because that is NOT what i’m saying and it is not the same. and you damn well know that.#a piece of creative work does not have to always make you comfortable. i like exploring morally challenging narratives. i like nuance.#i like grey areas in my fiction.#does that mean i condone that irl? hell no#because i know what im about. i know my values. and they’re not necessarily reflected in my storytelling or art#personally i think that exploring horror and toxicity in fiction is a good way to build reading comprehension (once you’ve ‘built’#the thinking muscles for it).#honestly i’m just so so so so tired of this moral scare around always Liking The Right Things#and if you like the Wrong Things and Wrong Media that makes you Bad.#it’s fucking dumb#learn to filter out the shit you don’t like. you are allowed to not like things.
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In case you didn’t know or needed to hear it, things do get better after you turn 18. Your life isn’t over even when you hit 21. 💜
This is me at vaguely around my mid-twenties. I’m trans & I’m here & while I don’t have everything figured out, I certainly have figured myself out way more than when I was younger. 💜 Yes it gets better. Yes you can grow older & be trans. There are people out there willing to love & accept you for you. There are partners, friends, family to be found. Don’t give up! 💪 Be proud, be loud, & let your rage out! Down with cis! Let’s rock this joint & keep on living!! 🖤 Things will be less noisy eventually, just please live! ⭐️
💖 You are worth it & it gets better! 💜
#I don’t know who needs to hear this today but you are loved#you are worth living#living is worth it#I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let some government goons be the cause of my undoing!#live in spite of it all#this TDOV my heart goes out to all the tired; exhausted; drained folks out there. I love you#this trans day of visibility you tip those transgender SWs that you adore#send aid to your trans siblings in need of it#give that transfem or transmasc in your life a hug if they’re okay with that#check in on your trans loved ones 💜 a little care goes a long way#trans positivity for you first because we all need it right now 💖#to all my AFAB AMAB folks & everyone else too I love you; please don’t stop living!#I’m a nonbinary agender femme & I love you all so much#tdov 2024#tdov#mine#op#enby#genderqueer#my face
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beaut 🐎 🍂
#new car!! but I’m mourning my old one#I’ve cried twice about it pls#sentimental to a fucking fault#everyone should start out with a used little car with a cd player she was so beat up but so loved#cars been there for the last six years through so many moments#happy and sad and tears loss and laughter#she held up and protected us through so much#so many deep talks and star watching and laughter in that car#so much damn food eaten in there (and spilled)#bared witness to a lot but she needed more work than I could do and it was time#I would’ve made my friend take her if I knew I would be this sad about it#it’ll get easier though just feels like a loss of a friend right now#they said she was going to auction not destroyed so maybe she'll be someone else's first car#new babe is badass she’s so beautiful#will fill her with memories too#she can’t ever replace her but I love her already and I’m excited for all the adventures we’ll see together#right in time for fall too#have to decorate her and put love into her like the other#idk how to act with a brand new car my other one had like 125000 miles like huh!#my radio didn’t even work (again)#| miss her little crusty ass!!!!!#here's to a new season though of change and growth and feeling safe out there 🖤🧿#(almost got a green one but it wasn’t the right shade in the sun) but she was pretttty#saw the most delicious green one with big olllll tires maybe in the future
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Did anybody notice that after Eddie said Steve was good dude when he wasn’t looking Steve had the cutest smile on his face?? I think I’m gonna cry 🥺
#steddie#they’re so precious#I cant#i’m crying right now#help#I’m a mess#i’m down horrendous#cant function#i’m so tired#damn#wow#tears#crying screaming sliding down the wall#throwing up screaming crying#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#steddie headcanon#steddie hcs#steve x eddie#idk what else to tag#help lol#please#i cant take anymore#come on#manifesting#power#so cuuuute#lmaooooooo#that is so funny
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maybe I’m just meant to be misunderstood
#damn no matter how much I express myself show how much I care it’s never enough..I always put everyone before myself so know when I get a#little busy and do things for myself I’m moving different or don’t care.. wtf.. if I don’t take care of myself who will.. I’m so sick of it#I’m tired of the always being the bad guy when all I do is love and care for everyone more than myself cmon now that’s not right 😔
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I made a tweet about how I don’t want MCU Sharon to be a villain and a B*ckyZ*mo shipper was like “Sharon being a villain is an improvement to her boring character tbh”
Sharon-haters love to say they stan her now that she’s a villain, but I know damn well they’d turn on her the moment she does something villain-like. It happened during the Power Broker reveal in FATWS and it’ll certainly happen again if the MCU takes this stupid villain-Sharon storyline any further.
Also that person has the nerve to talk shit about Sharon when they stan Z*mo, who is a whole ass N*zi?! HELLO???!!!
#man I’m so ready to be done with the MCU! I’m tired of them doing Sharon dirty!#the source material was RIGHT THERE and instead the writers decided to bullshit their way through her story in favor of P*ggy and N*tasha…#like just free my girl from this damn franchise atp#y’all didn’t do right by her then and y’all don’t do right by her now#FREE HER#sharon carter
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#a little rant look away#I want to just post that I’m gay on my fb but the family discourse#will be fucking insane. I don’t want to hear it when I see these people in two months#I can already see the call me comments right now ugh#but I’m so tired of these crusty ass men they keep trying to introduce me to#only three people in my family have heard it straight from me and I thought that was enough#but damn#no matter how fast I shut it down they still don’t take the hint#everything I say they take it as a suggestion anyway#told my grandma I was talking to a friend she started using he pronouns my mouth said they so fast she clocked it then#but still trying to sneak this tj dude into every conversation#if he so great why y’all won’t set him up with any of my other straight cousins. like girl boo
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Me -> 🧍🏽 <- The dumbass who decided to do this dumb project with wire so now my hands hurt so bad also the only pair of pliers I have suck
#txt#i cant quit now but like damn. tomorrow is going to suck -_-#i have paint & sharpie all over my arms right now#creating stuff is so messy#I’m so tired I’m sleeping now
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I am so high I love you dabs I love you big bong rips I love you huge heavy bong I love you only having 20 dollars to my name and no plans but getting high and ignoring it I love you oh no I’m thinking about it
#I want to take an ice cold shower and scream and smoke a whole pack of cigarettes and lock myself in a closet for 72 hours in the dark with#no distractions to figure out what I actually want to do with the rest of my life and to face every bad thought I have and struggle to#ignore even years later like ugh I just need to be at the bottom of the ocean floating sinking alive dead in between for like a month and#then pull me back up and either I’ll be normal or I’ll be so fucked up they just put me back in there#like either way I am vibing at the bottom of the ocean (I have been desperately imaging a sensory deprivation tank all day)#(put me in a fucking sensory deprivation tank until something in my fucking brain rewires and I get worse or better than I am now this#inbetween stage is fucking killing me like what do you mean I’m not a horrible person but also what do you mean I struggle every day but I’m#normal but I have things about me other people don’t and alienate me to the point of near total isolation but also this is just how humans#are and I need to take meds and actively struggle to fit into a perfect little box of what a person should be like god damn I am so tired of#getting better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and I’m miserable and I’m happy and I’m sobbing and#I know a month from now I’ll be depressed again or I’ll be the best I’ve ever been and it’s so fucking horrible to be in the middle stage#where I actually have to step up and admit shit is wrong and face it like why can’t I just lay in bed forever until I become the bed and not#like get a job and have a future. ugh. depression is so fucked esp bc most things in my life are normal I guess or like easier than my#friends like we all have seperate challenges but I’m the only one still living off their parents (ha. parent. forgot for a second.) and the#only thing wrong with my life is the mental health issues but I won’t step up and deal with it bc I feel like I’ve been depressed for so#long I like fucked up the foundational shit and like I know it’s fine but also I feel so behind and I feel like I’ll be behind and unhappy#forever even when im happy I know the next depressive episode is right around the corner and I give up again. ugh. I hate knowing that’s#what’s wrong with me but still not having the energy to step up and fix it. im so pathetic I want to cry. my brain is me but my brain is#destroying my life. anyways. im high and now im sad and have dry mouth. I think im gonna drink ice water and change into shorts+lay in bed)
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really need someone to whack me over the head with a sign that says “your worth is not measured by how much or how often you create things, and if you berate yourself for a lack of productivity you will never regain enough energy to do what you love”
#like i WANT to write more but i’m so tired and sometimes i get too consumed by the fact that i’m Not Writing#plus i’ve been so busy recently too like damn @ me go easy on yourself!! the summer break only started a week ago!!#(sorry i’m Going Through It right now. just a little bit)#pfb talks
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I keep developing more and more frivolous and silly crushes and it’s fun!! I like randomly falling for people for five minutes
#counterfeit-stars#crushes#PEOPLE ARE SO BEAUTIFUL#I’m tired and loopy rn can you tell#rn im looking at Riley from hivemind thinking ‘damn he cute’#and I know in five minutes I’ll probably feel different#but idk!! he’s cute to me right now and that’s fine and awesome and I can enjoy it
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man what a time it is to be a desi kpop stan
#sorry this is a complete 180 from my last post 😭#idk i feel like i really should care more about the fact that idols constantly disrespect desi culture but i honestly don’t#because it’s such a reoccurring issue and it happens so often that my first instinct is to brush it off#it’s like i’m desensitized to it and want to forget about it so i can ignore the issue#like… idk i just don’t really have the thoughts to express my words right now lmao i’m so tired#i’m referring to twice and stayc here btw#like. they’re my favs and i love them but also. damn. it’s just a constant issue with kpop#like there was the youngji thing a few days ago#and i can name plenty more instances but it’s also so complicated because on the one hand i personally may not care about something#but others in my culture may so i get so conflicted#being a non korean poc kpop stan sucks sometimes#anyways i’m going to take a nap now#isai.txt
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My dad has this theory about “project-based friends” that I’ve been thinking about lately. A project-based friend is someone you meet through fandom/hobbies, and they’re usually really easy to get super close to while you’re both invested in the project, be it an actual project or the same fandom/fixation or whatever else.
But as soon as one or both of you moves on from the project, you fall out of touch. Because the project-based friend doesn’t really care about you as a person as much as they care about what you bring to the project. Or even if they do care about you, they just don’t know how to keep a friendship up when you don’t have a project together.
This isn’t necessarily a selfish thing, it’s just… the friendship isn’t personal. A project-based friend will have fun with you while it lasts and then either move on entirely or stay kinda half in your life, never really reaching out or holding real conversations. And I think a big part of my problem is that I’ve been expecting project-based friends to stick around for me when really we just liked the same work of fiction for a while. I keep thinking I’ve made a new best friend and then they get into some media I don’t like and the whole friendship kinda disappears.
#this is hard to accept because it’s some of the people I consider my best friends. but my dad is probably right.#they’ve gotten a new project and that doesn’t mean they hate me it just means I’m like. not on their radar how I once was.#do I cry about it every weekend? of course.#but I am trying to learn to not take it personally#cause I don’t think it’s about me. I think it’s about them having new interests and me not being able to join in with that#I’ve TRIED to join in but it just doesn’t work. I just don’t like the current project.#and maybe when the project is something I do like we can talk again#that’s another thing about project based friends is it seems like I am always the one making an effort to get into their new thing.#almost never them trying for me. and if they do try it is very short lived. oh well#Calvin talks#vent#I guess#personal#I dunno. it’s been over half a year. I’m getting tired.#also WHY is it that 9 times out of 10 my project based friends will get me into the damn thing and then move on before I do#dude I did this for you!!! I got into this shit so we would have something to talk about!!! and now you are ignoring me!!!!#sorry. I’m having a rough evening#I kinda don’t know if I should post this actually#I don’t like to get personal on tumblr#and this isn’t intended to vague anyone it’s just some ruminations on the nature of almost every friendship I’ve ever had.#even tho it DOES feel especially bad lately#like I care more than ever and people are either stringing me along or ignoring me entirely#but like. again. I just tend to get too invested in relationships that don’t matter to the other person#or that do matter to them but not as much#delete later
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Goddamnit I’m starting art again I can’t just longingly stare at my old stuff and wonder where the time went when im currently so full of ideas my brain feels like popping. I’ll post my old middle school shit or something, and go up from there.
"ai is making it so everyone can make art" Everyone can make art dipshit it came free with your fucking humanity
#i’m just rambling#and angry#because I stoped drawing because it wasn’t good enough in my eyes#I know take as old as time#but this is going in#motivation#and#for myself#because fuck do I deserve better#(I’ve got some personal shit going on ignore the drama)#anyways#start of the#mon arte#tag and now I’m gonna be so uncaring about it#because I’ve missed the damn process#and I’m fuckinf tired but so so energized to draw#(it’s 20:42 right now and I’m avoiding my homework)
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⛈️ //
#tag vent bullshit would highly recommend just scrolling past this if vent bs aint your thing#so run along now for those who would rather avoid. im just tossing in tags bc its easier on me.#anyway… just… …#this stress is really eating me alive & im so tired#ive been crying on & off since yesterday esp w my health taking a swan dive to hell amidst this#but i have to just. deal with.#crying when alone specifically like fuck am i gonna show a damn thing to anyone. fuck no ❤️#esp when it feels like my emotions im feeling are me somehow being manipulative.#because i dont have a right to any of this right. its just a pity party im throwinf for myself.#& yet all these feelings emotions everything i havent processed continue to fester & bubble up to the surface in pure vitriol.#pure hatred & anger bc of it coming from a place of hurt but what does that matter. right? …im just.#i feel manipulative expressing anything. i feel manipulative having feelings. i need to remove them at once. i need them gone at once.#i feel manipulative even so much as talking about situations that hurt me. bc i ‘shoulsnt feel this way’#all this shit to me feels like it just reads as ‘woe is me’ bullshit i hate it so much.#im tired. i dont know. im in distress & emotionally really falling apart but just.#it almost feels more comforting to just let myself bleed out on myself metaphorically speaking than to dare task anyone via asking them#to help me w my own metaphorical wounds. bc then im shoving a burden onto them. & I’m not supposed to do that.#so much for being a pillar of stability for others LMFAOOO. whatever. whatever.#faulty ass pillar that’s just falling apart from being built on an unstable foundation#im tired im tired of hurting both emotionally & physically due to flare ups from the sheer stress as well#& crying feels fucking humiliating & like im just begging for pity.#i shouldnt be fucking crying. i shouldn’t. im supposed to be fine. i say. & at first i was fucking able to fucking.#dissociate & let quinn join me too so i could be fully coldly detached. from it. but thats not happening bc i cant control when she joins#joins front w me. & i almost wish she could take front fully. take front from me fully for as long as this situation keeps going.#even if that means i end up in solitude & w barely much recollection of what may transpire. at least when she’s upfront? i dont have to be.#solitude bc she doesnt like talking to anyone even my own trusted friends.#unless its somehow fucjing necessary but at least w her upfront i just. i dont. have to feel. i can disconnect & forget everything.#i just want to stop fucking falling apart & i have so many unprocessed emotions over this all that feel unacceptable to talk abt STILL.#im that fucking convinced any neg emotion i show is wrong somehow & while ive gotten better w this im still. not. idk. just. w/e. ifg.
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