#I’m serious Becca no reading

[kaylinelizabeth4004]

Young and Beautiful

Alec Hardy (Broadchurch) x Reader

Synopsis: DS Y/N Warner uses DI Alec Hardy’s flat for some late night work

Word Count: 4890

Tags: fem!reader, fluff, smut, praise, sweet, very sweet smut, if your name is Becca look away

She didn't even bother to knock, not knowing or caring if he was in, she just slid open his sliding glass door and let herself inside. Then she plopped the case files on his sofa, pushed his coffee table to the side, and laid them all out in front of in her. He'd come round about an hour later, when all the papers lie in their own stacks across his rug, Y/N in the middle eating a slice of toast with a wild look in her eyes.

"Warner, what're you doing here?"

"There's something we're missing, there has to be, and I'm so close to it!" She said, her baby hairs frizzing wildly as her hair came loose from her ponytail. She either didn't care or didn't notice as she stood up, a paper in hand. DI Alec Hardy stood in his own doorway, flabbergasted to his DS rambling in his room at half past 4am. "I think it has to do with Aaron, it's got to be. His alibi doesn't make sense, he won't tell us where he was, and he knew Sophia well enough. At least more than some of the other persons of interest. I've tracked down the local cab company and one of the drivers says he remembers giving a bloke a ride late that night, said the lad was proper out of breath and not exactly chatty. I've already got him lined up to come in tomorrow for more information. As for the trace amounts of DNA in the victims mouth we don't have a match yet but the lab did say it wasn't as disintegrated as they'd initially thought which gives me hope! I've got -" 

"Warner!" Hardy shouted, interrupting her speech. "What the hell are you doing in my house half past 4?"

She gestured around her as though it should be obvious, "working."

"And you can't do that at your own flat?"

She giggled, and continued to ramble. When she was really tired, like proper one second away from passing out tired, like she was now, she couldn't shut up. It didn't matter if the person she was talking to didn't want to hear it or wasn't listening or couldn't hear it - having a deaf cousin worked to her favor in these instances - she would continue to prattle on about what she needed to, "no. My roommate's got her boyfriend over and they were proper loud. Could practically hear the bed rattling, and it wasn't doing me any good. You don't sleep anyway so I figured I could use the space to lay it out. I didn't think you'd not be home. Why're you dressed nice? Did you come from a date? Is that what this is? Is there some woman waiting outside?"

"No!" DI Hardy looked halfway offended at the suggestion. "I've just got back from work. Was gonna make a cuppa then keep going til you showed up."

She squealed and went for something on the floor, lifting it up then crawling to a different paper,"I take two sugars."

"I know your bloody order. Shouldn't you go and sleep?"

She waved a hand, "I'll sleep when I'm dead. What I really need is for the world to be open 24/7. If I could only call this bloke right now and half my questions could be answered. You know my order? That's sweet."

He scoffed, "it's not unique. Warner, when was the last time you slept?"

"Uhh, I slept a few hours on Tuesday. Why do you look all high and mighty? You don't sleep either, don't eat. You're practically a miserable little skeleton carting your life way through life."

"I am not -" he stopped taking. Partially because she hadn't stopped either, continuing to chatter about whatever her heart desired. And partly because he didn't know if he was going to refute the miserable part, the little part, or the skeleton part. Or if he even could refute it. He snorted, well he wasn't little. He was over 6 foot. And he could eat more, he knew that. But he often forgot about food until he had to.

"I know a fellow who took nine sugars. Can you imagine that! Nine sugars! You're drinking piss flavored juice at that point. Pardon mh French, sir. He was very strange... called himself Witchfinder as though you couldn't search on the web magic shops. Maybe we should start calling ourselves Crimefinders. Criminalfinders? That doesn't roll off the tongue, now does it?"

DI Hardy realized Y/N wasn't going to answer any of his questions in this state, so he shuffled over to the kitchen to make some tea. He took his coat off, tossing it on whatever available counter space there was with a yawn. He wanted to sleep, knew he probably had to, but he'd probably dream of something he didn't want to dream about. Lately it'd been odd mental pictures of his coworkers all hurt, Y/N choked, Ellie crying, hell even Brian made the scene with a glazed look in his eyes. He didn't know why he had these thoughts, he'd never considered himself a particularly caring individual over his coworkers. But it had haunted him off from sleep for the foreseeable future.

He made two cups of tea, disposing two sugars into Warner's as she said. Then he walked back over to his living room and sat down, elbows on his knees as he scanned her work.

"Thank you!" She said, grabbing her mug and take a large gulp of it. "What do you think of this, sir? He doesn't strike me right. Can't place it."

"The name is familiar," Hardy admitted. He went to his laptop and started typing away, trying to place the name. "Ah, he's been arrested for aggravated assault. Both charges dropped, looks like some brawls in the pubs."

"I s'pose that doesn't suggest he murdered a girl."

"Doesn't rule him out either, if he's willing to punch a stranger in a pub what would he do to someone he knows?"

She giggled and scrambled for her pencil, "I should write that down for my novel!"

"You're writing a novel?"

"Mmhmm, started it tonight. 'Adventures of Harner and Wardy.'"

Alec set his mug down, and took hers from her hand as well. "Alright, time for bed now."

"What? No! I've got more novel to write and crime to solve! We've not even started discussing the potential that Louise is lying about her husband's alibi. I mean really? She says he binged Big Bang Theory with her all night and I'm all for binging telly but of all the shows you choose that one? The laugh track is funnier than the actual show half the time - is this your bedroom?"

Hardy had helped Y/N to her feet and led her to his bedroom in the back. She was still rambling about the most irrelevant things when he guided her to sit on the edge of his bed. He didn't often make it, so he was glad to note that it was done up well. Warner hadn't slept in almost a full 48 hours and he knew that even with a brain as sharp as hers, it was dull as Katie's without sleep. He got on his knees before her, carefully untying her shoes and sliding them off her feet. He put them by the door and helped her out of her coat jacket.

"What're you doing?" She finally asked as he hung the jacket on the back of the door. "Are you hitting on me?"

"What? I -"

"Because if you are hitting on me that's totally okay, but I should warn you I'm getting sleepy so I might not be the best lay. But you are proper good looking so I wouldn't say no." She made a face, "my boss wouldn't like that would he? Noooo, can't call someone proper good looking. I'm not trying to be a knob, just communicating that you've got no problems in the looks department. None, like ever. Personality maybe but you took my shoes off for me so that gets you at least a few brownie points."

Alec felt like he was malfunctioning, his arm stuck out, frozen midair from her words. She just called him attractive. And not just good looking, but good looking enough she'd want to sleep with him! He'd never been used to such straight forward compliments and didn't quite know if he believed it. So he just worked on autopilot, helping tuck her into bed.

"Go to sleep, Warner." He flicked off the lights and closed the door. What the hell. What the hell. Alec blinked rapidly like that would make any of what just happened make any sense at all.

He stood awkwardly outside the door of the bedroom. Should he - is he- what's the proper procedure with this? He should know, he was married once, had enough sex to have a child! But it seemed all that knowledge left the moment Claire stole back the pendant, fizzling his marriage, his life, his career. Now he was left taking uneven breaths as the sun crept up, an employee who's attracted to him sleeping in his bed after 40+ hours of not sleeping.

He found himself back at his laptop, slowly typing out what to do when someone admits to fancying you. But the results were not his thing, videos of very forward men and women moving very quickly into other actions. Alec was not opposed to the action, sex. But he couldn't fathom how to get there. So he sat in his kitchen drinking old tea, and staring at his door.

An hour later he crept in to grab a different tie for work, and saw Y/N completely passed out. She was curled in a ball, cradling his pillow and lightly snoring. She looked content. It made him smile against his better judgment. He left her in there, scribbling a note on a piece of paper he taped to the bedroom door before he left for the station.

Y/N Warner woke up nearly 12 hours later. It was practically dark when she opened her eyes. She blinked away the sleep that threatened to creep in around the corners of her eyes, and propped herself up on her elbows to survey the scene around her. She didn't recognize the room she was in, blank walls and bland sheets. There was no personality to it. For a moment, she wondered if she'd gotten a hotel room and just had no memory of it.

Then she smelt a familiar, faint scent. She couldn't place it or really describe it other than she liked it, it was warm. Stupidly, she let her face fall into the pillow to inhale the scent. Oh my god.

She shot up quickly, realizing where she was. The memories of last night flooded her mind.

"Shit, shit, shit." A hand flew to her brow as she tried to process. She'd come here to work because her roommate was fucking her boyfriend into the oblivion. DI Hardy came back, made her a cuppa. She wouldn't shut up, kept rambling about the Big Bang Theory (why?) and Witchfinders (how?) before he guided her here. Then she - "no." She said audibly, she did not make a pass at DI Hardy in his bed, late at night and practically drunk on exhaustion. Her eyes flit around the room before landing on the one piece of decoration, a framed photo of Hardy and Daisy, his daughter. "No." She said again, as though it could stop her ramblings.

Y/N rushed out of the bed, scrambling to find her shoes before she saw them neatly lying next to the door. She was usually very professional, if not a little eccentric. But no one could fault you for being a lot when you were good at your job and solved cases. She brought justice to people, she knew she did. And she might have risked it all because she worked herself too far and hit on her boss. Regardless of how stupid attractive he was, that was still work place harassment.

She shoved her shoes on, forced her arms into the holes of her suit jacket and ambled out into his living space. There were papers everywhere. They covered the floor like a new rug, slouched over the chairs and clung to the walls by hall dead pieces of tape. She looked for her mobile, patting her pockets. Shit, she must have left it in the bedroom. When she turned she spotted a note on the door.

'At the office. Feel free to not come in.'

Oh she was dead. She'd lost her job forever, she would never work again. This stupid blasted career she'd worked so hard on gone.

She ran back and found her mobile among the sheets, shoved it into her pocket and ran to leave the home. Then DI Hardy stood awkwardly at the front door, bags of Chinese hanging from his hands and a weird not grimace not smile expression. He didn't look pleased to see her, but he didn't want to kill her. Good news, right?

"Sir, I am so sorry about last night-"

"Don't worry about it." He waved his hand, coming in to set the food on the counter. He got a lot of it.

"No, I can't not worry about it. I came into your home, made a mess, took your bed and propositioned you-"

"Warner, we've arrested a man for the murder of Sophia Garcia. It was Aaron Baker, his dad's golf clubs, just like you'd said."

Her mouth fell open, "shit, really?"

Alec gestured to the mess of papers while he spoke, "you'd mentioned something about the cabbie last night. When I went in I gave them a ring, and while there was a driver who picked up a grumpy lad it wasn't Aaron. Sounds like a Christie book but it was his twin. Aaron was cross town cleaning up the scene."

"Not good enough," Y/N said softly.

Alec nodded, "not good enough."

"I'm sorry, sir." She said again, her voice still quiet and meek.

He didn't answer her, just stared for a beat before gesturing to the food, "I didn't know what you liked so I bought two of everything."

"All this is for me?"

"You solved the case, Warner."

She shook her head, "I ... you let me sleep in your bed? I ransacked your house, I propositioned you, and you let me sleep and brought me food?"

Alec scratched the back of his neck. He did not like how often Y/N asked questions. It stressed him out, like he had to have an immediate answer to every single one when he figured his actions spoke. But she looked so confused. He just gestured to the food and went to grab plates.

She sat down in surprise, blinking quickly as she watched him come over. "Just a, uh, an egg roll and cho mein please."

He nodded and shoved two of both onto her plate before giving it to her. He didn't put anything on his plate. Y/N sighed and scraped off half of hers onto his.

"Eat, sir. Please."

He blinked, "wot?"

"I've known you for years and never seen you eat. Just eat the egg roll."

He stared at the greasy food. He can't eat that, he thought and was about to say as much when she shot him a dirty look. Tentatively, Alec took a bite of it. He cringed, he didn't quite love the taste but Y/N seemed pleased he was eating so he finished it off just for her.

When they both finished he cleaned up, and she stayed seated. Then he moved past her to the bedroom, undoing his tie and tossing it, along with his jacket, onto a chair in the corner. He started to roll his sleeves up round his elbows when Y/N waited by the door.

"Thank you, sir."

"No need-"

"Let me. Thank you, sir. For the food and the sleep and, uh, well thank you for everything."

"Of course, Warner. I take care of my people." Not typically this much care, but he didn't want to make her feel bad. He focused on sliding off his shoes, shoving them out of his sight.

Alec jumped - well, Alec never really jumped just blinked harshly and cocked the one eyebrow - in surprise. Y/N was now closer to him, her chest heaving as she stared up at him. She was shorter than he remembered.

"I-If I may, sir?" She asked, lifting a hand.

He had a feeling he knew what she was asking, but didn't know for certain. But all the same he nodded. He watched as her eyes fluttered shut as she leaned in, going onto her tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

He hadn't been kissed in a long time, and the surprise of her initiating it made him stand there and accept her soft lips against his. When she broke, he could see the fear in her eyes as though she had done something wrong. Alec hadn't kissed in a while, and he felt the anxiety creep in that he didn't remember how. But the look in her eyes made it worth the fear.

He plunged forward, grabbing the back of her neck gently while his other hand came to cradle her jaw. Her skin was soft under his touch, melting as he held her. Y/N's hands came up to hold his jaw, scruffy and itchy in the most delightful way. Her mouth melded with his as his tongue licked along her bottom lip.

She cherished the way his jaw scratched against hers slightly, sighing when he broke to trail soft kisses down her jaw and the length of her neck. The scratch was enough to make her giggle like a schoolgirl, holding his shoulders. He shot back up, hair slightly wild but nothing compared to his eyes as he looked into hers deeply. He needed to be absolutely certain. There was no time for messing about and hurting anyone.

She smiled. He was so handsome to her, but in an understated way. She took the moment to run a finger on his sculpted jawline, along his freckled cheeks and down his crooked nose. No, not everyone might look at those features and call it handsome. But to her, he was everything. Smart, kind, and good-looking as sin. Her finger fell upon his lips, slightly open and let out harsh breaths as he searched her eyes desperately. Alec always wished he could read expressions better, he was terrified he'd make the wrong decision somewhere down the line.

But Y/N smiled, and nodded, pressing a soft kiss to his nose before taking a step back. Then she toed off her own shoes, shucked off her own jacket, and began to undress.

He followed her lead, removing his shirt and pants. Eventually, they both stood in front of one another naked. Y/N felt that pang of anxiety in her chest at being bare in front of a man. She'd made it very clear to Alec that she found him to be hotter than hell, but did he feel that way about her? She wasn't ugly, she knew that, but she wasn't a showstopper.

And yes, she could see the surprisingly length of him hardening before him. But didn't every man get hard when sex was on the table?

Alec came forward and placed his hands on her hips, pulling her forward as his eyes took in every inch of her. He ran a hand along her stomach - an insecure area for her - and up between her breasts, before settling it on the base of her neck. The simple action left her breathless.

His eyes were still on her body before he brought them up to hers. She was struck by how deep his were, how warm and brown, they seemed to go on forever.

"Look at you," he said hoarsely, his accent suddenly get thicker. "You're gorgeous."

"You think so?" She felt stupid asking it. She should be confident, she should pose seductively and tell him to strap in the way girls do on the telly. But this felt real and raw, and raw didn't shy away from the insecurities. Insecurities laced with cellulite and hair, parts that feel too pudgy there and too concave there. Never quite where it needs to be, never "ugly" enough for the world to tell you you have a right to complain.

"'Course. 'Course, look at you. You think I'm g-good too?" He asked back.

Y/N smiled, "thank you for saying that, most men don't."

"Don't they?" Alec asked in surprise, figuring that was just a part of the experience.

She shook her head and let her gaze trace along his body as well. He was lean and tall, with thin legs and arms wrapped in gentle muscle. His stomach was slightly pouchy and soft, beneath it his length was already hard at the sight of her. She ran a hand up from his stomach to his chest, mimicking his actions, and let it stay on his heart. Beneath her touch it thumped violently. Then she looked up to see his face, her favorite feature. His eyes were warm and gentle even when they didn't mean to be. "All of you is handsome to me, all of you."

He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing, "you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. And if it isn't too crass to say, I'd fuck every inch of you."

It was too crass to say, and even a little cheesy, but it made her blossom with a smile. She threw her arms around his neck and let herself fall into one of his all encompassing kisses she was starting to like the taste of too much. Alec's lips were firm but not overpowering as they engulfed her, setting a tingle from her toes all the way up to her head in a heady giggle. His hands held onto her waist, grasping the flesh there with a sweet intensity. His lips parted with a deep groan.

She walked backwards to the bed, leading Alec until he was over her. His arms were poised by her head, his neck brought down as he peppered open mouth kisses along her neck. She laughed lightly at his scruffy beard, moaning when his lips found the spot between her neck and shoulder that shot straight through her. Y/N writhed under his touch, heat searing her skin. His hands were everywhere, branding her, skating up her waist to grab a handful of her breast, down her back to cup her bum, and feather like fingers traveling over the top of her thighs to the place in between. She gasped as he ran a finger down her slit.

"So wet..." he murmured, not expecting her to be so aroused by him. He'd barely done anything for her, hadn't touched down there at all. Yet she was slick to the touch, heat and arousal. Alec loved the way her chest flushed, her eyes closed tightly as she savored his touch on her skin.

He ran his fingers down, keeping his touch light as he experimentally nudged around. When he found her clit she gasped, her whole body tensing and focusing on the nerves right there against his finger.

"So responsive," he murmured, starting to work gently against her clit as she took shaking, uneven breaths. Alec went to speak again, then stopped. Tess never liked when he spoke in bed, said it distracted her from her climax. So he'd learned to stay silent and focus on his partner's body, her mouth as she fought her body's reaction to grind violently against his fingers. He kissed her sternum, biting at the flesh gingerly. Despite himself, Alec growled into her as she bucked her hips to meet his ministrations.

"Keep talking," she said in a hoarse voice.

"Wot?" Alec asked, taken aback.

Y/N looked up at him, eyes heady with need, "your voice is hot. If it's okay to ask, please keep talking, sir."

Alec grinned his charming, crooked smile. He bent down to kiss along her stomach as he quickened his pace on his clit, driving her faster to a climax then she was used to. That deep Scottish voice rang our praises, some loud enough that she could hear them and clench her thighs, others murmurs against her flesh that made her head feel light and airy. She giggled at the thought of all the beard rash she'd have along her body from him. All the same he told her how well she was doing, how beautiful she was, how lovely she looked squirming underneath him.

Then, as her back began to arch and she could feel the orgasm just a hair's breadth away, he stilled. Y/N whined. Actually felt herself whine in protest. He chuckled, clearly meaning to edge her, using his large hands to keep her legs wide open.

"A-are you ready?" Alec asked, his usual confidence lost to the arousal he was trying to keep at bay for her. His hands were large and warm, holding onto the space between her hips and thighs with a firm yet gentle touch.

Y/N's eyes gazed down to his cock, hard and ready. It looked about ready to burst, but Alec squeezed her thighs to look up into his eyes. They were warm and kind. Asking for consent even in a position like this. It made her all the more sure of her answer.

She reached up for his face, grabbing his jaw and planting a warm kiss on his mouth as he started to guide himself inside of her. He was slow, letting her gasp and adjust to the length inch by inch until he was fully inside of her. Alec paused. She could feel her heartbeat everywhere, pulsing desperately for friction.

She nodded, kissing Alec again. She'd never had a kiss like that, so strong and comforting. Kisses were never her thing, she hadn't understood the fuss over them. Just two sets of lips pressed against one another, the taste of the day infecting it. But with Alec it was more than the cho mein or egg rolls, and it was more than chapped lips pressed against one another. It was full of desire, trying to communicate all that words couldn't. She drank it in fully, gasping against him as he started to move inside of her.

Alec was bigger than she expected and bigger than he was used to, and she wiggled her hips to the feeling of being stretched so full like that. He cherished the feeling of her gasps and moans, dipping to kiss every inch of skin near him.

"So beautiful, so gorgeous..." he thrusted in quickly this time and saw her body tense from surprise. "You're taking me beautifully, Angel."

Y/N could listen to his voice all day. Even before she realized he was far from an ugly bloke, she fancied the way his voice poured over her in sexy waves. Deep, guttural, it was honest and raw. He didn't lie, he didn't cover it with some pretense to be sexy. Even when his voice would break, small gasps from the sensations breaking up his sentences, she found it all the better.

Alec leaned back, not wanting to stop kissing her not wanting to miss the view. He'd pulled her hips down to the edge of the bed, him standing and her legs spread wide and resting on the small of his back. With a gentle pace that started to grow more desperate he thrust into her, watching her body flush and squirm beneath him. Y/N threw her arms up, arching her back to take him deeper. Alec was enamored with the way her breasts bounced with each thrust.

"So fucking beautiful," he grumbled, snaking a hand down to stroke her clit. He could feel that he wasn't going to last as long as he would have liked, but by the way Y/N let out little moans by his feather light touch, he figured she didn't mind all that much.

Y/N was in her own world, feeling his voice slide off her skin like oil as she chased her high. His denial of her orgasm earlier made this one all the more powerful. It seemed to slam into her, causing her to gasp wildly as Alec kept firm ministrations on her clit. Then he too reached his climax, grunting in a low voice before pouring out in a shocking spurt.

Then he pulled out, falling beside her as they both gasped for breath. Y/N quickly ambled out of the bed and used the restroom before she came back in, feeling like her limbs were absolute jelly. Alec brought her back to the bed, laying next to her. His hand held hers, thumb tracing circles on the back of her hand.

"That was incredible," he finally said.

"You could say that again."

"That was incredible." They both paused, turning to look at one another, before bursting into a fit of giggles.

[dreamwritesimagines]

The Eye of the Hurricane [5] - Unyielding

A.N: Here’s the new chapter my loves! ❤️ Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️

Summary: Certain arguments can’t wait.

Word Count: 3600

Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Violence, death, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, drinking. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.

Series Masterlist

For a couple of seconds, you could do nothing but stare at him with wide eyes, frozen in your seat.

“Excuse me?”

“Just hear me out before you grab your gun, it would—” he started but you scoffed and stood up from the lounge chair, the familiar anger rushing through you so fast that it almost made your head spin.

“Do you think this is funny?”

He shook his head fervently. “I’m completely serious.”

A dry laugh spilled from your lips. “Oh really?”

“Charm…”

“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but my stupid little crush on you went away years and years ago,” you growled, glaring daggers at him. “You made sure of that, so if you dare assume for even a moment—”

“Oh my God, that was the wildest bachelorette I’ve ever been to!” Becca’s voice cut you off as she pushed open the door and stepped into the rooftop. “Also I’m pretty sure I’m in love now, so…” she stopped when her eyes fell on you two. “Uh, what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” you said after a beat and threw your shoulders back. “Did you just say you’re in love?”

“Yeah!”

Bucky stole a look at Becca. “Who did you fall in love with?”

“That’s a long story. What’s going on in here?”

You pursed your lips together, your heart still beating in your ears as you tried to focus through the fury, then cleared your throat.

“We were—”

“Y/N, we’re leaving!” you heard Ian’s voice and your head whipped around, then you cleared your throat.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” you said, pressing a kiss on her cheek in a rush. “Let’s get coffee at the usual place?”

“Uh, sure?” she said slowly and you walked out of the rooftop like someone was chasing you, without sparing Bucky so much as a glance.

The road back home was considerably quiet but it did nothing to silence the chaos in your mind. You had excused yourself to your room as soon as you got home, but after an hour of tossing and turning in the bed, you huffed out and kicked the covers off of you, sitting up in the bed.

This was nonsense.

There was no scenario in which you’d marry Bucky. You weren’t even sure you could spend more than half an hour together without being at each other’s throats, let alone being an actual couple—

Not that you had thought about it.

Much.

Fine, back when you were younger and Bucky hadn’t ripped your heart out yet, you used to spend a lot of time thinking about you and him ending up together. He was your best friend’s cool older brother and you were both heirs to your families’ empires, so your little crush let your imagination run wild.

And then he had broken your heart but after everything, even now, your imagination still liked to conjure him up in your dreams some nights.

But unlike before, you weren’t an idiot. You knew what kind of an asshole he was, so there was no way you could even entertain that stupid proposal, no matter what kind of a promise of power it held.

You rubbed at your eyes and got up from the bed, then padded your way down the hallway, then went down the spiral stairs. You stretched out your arms over your head as you followed the hallway to the kitchen where the light was coming from, as you knew it would, then peeked your head in.

Oh good.

It was just Jennifer, your genius chef who was now busy with making a sandwich on the counter while Ryan sat on one of the chairs, his hands clasped together, his back completely straight. Ryan was Ian’s right hand, -ex military, as much as you knew- but unlike Ian, he was much calmer and rational. He was tall and very muscular and didn’t like to talk much, and that added more to the air of mystery he held, considering no one seemed to know much about his past, or his personal life.

“Hey,” you knocked on the door, making both of them turn their heads. “Is this a bad time?”

“Not at all!” Jennifer said as Ryan stood up from his chair.

“Ma’am.”

“Oh don’t!” you motioned at him. “Please don’t stand up, I just…I couldn’t sleep so I figured—”

“Warm milk with honey and cinnamon?” Jennifer finished your sentence for you, making you smile and nod your head.

“Yes please,” you said and pulled yourself a chair, resting your elbows on the counter. Ryan eyed you, then sat down as well.

“There you go!” Jennifer said, putting the plate in front of him, then smiled at him. “Chef’s special sandwich.”

“Thanks Jen,” Ryan said, his voice gruff and Jennifer turned to you.

“Would you like one as well?”

“Ah no, thank you,” you said and heaved a sigh. Jennifer stole a look at you.

“Are you alright?”

“Too many thoughts,” you muttered, leaning your chin on your fist. “Ryan, are you married?”

Ryan’s head shot up as he chewed on his bite, then cleared his throat.

“No ma’am.”

“Any partner?”

“No ma’am.”

“He’s single,” Jennifer said with a grin. “And all my friends are very eager to change that.”

Ryan offered her an almost abashed smile and shifted his weight on the chair as if he was uncomfortable with the sudden attention while Jennifer put your glass of honeyed milk with cinnamon in front of you with a couple of cookies on the plate.

“Thank you so much,” you said as you took a sip, then bit on the cookie.

“Jen, you’re married and in love, right?”

“And I’m also the luckiest woman in the world in addition to all that,” she said, making you smile.

“Do you think people could get married to people they hate?”

“Why would anyone get married to someone they hate?” she asked and Ryan took a huge bite of his sandwich, looking between you.

“Common interests,” you said. “I don’t know, I had this strange thought…”

Jennifer tilted her head. “What?”

You heaved a sigh, then shook your head.

“Nothing,” you said. “Don’t mind me. Just some late-night thoughts, that’s all.”

                                                 *

By the time you met up with Becca, you still couldn’t stop thinking about last night and Bucky’s proposal, if you could even call it that. It was nonsense, you knew it was, but considering Becca was your best friend, the mere thought of keeping it from her was simply absurd.

“He proposed?” Becca asked, gawking at you. “He actually proposed?”

“Well it was technically a business proposal.”

“And a marriage proposal at the same time?”

You shrugged your shoulders while the waiter filled your coffee cup.

“You know…” Becca trailed off. “Hypothetically speaking—”

“You cannot tell me this is a good idea.”

“I’m not but think about it,” she insisted. “You and Buck already hate each other kinda, so you’re technically already married. You just skipped like ten years into it and got to the resentment part.”

“Becca!”

“You fight like a married couple.”

“If some married couple is fighting like me and Bucky, they should get a divorce,” you pointed out, leaning back in your seat. “I blocked his number, and just…ugh the nerve of the guy, can you believe him?!”

“Mm hm.” Becca said, sipping her matcha before checking her phone. “Oh thank God!”

“What?”

“Sarah is coming to the club this weekend,” she said and pointed at you. “So are you, right?”

“Yeah, me and Ethan.”

“What?”

“I’m bringing Ethan with me,” you explained. “I had to ditch him today, we were supposed to meet for lunch but as you can tell, this couldn’t wait.”

“My brother asking you to marry him even if you hate his guts? Yeah, that beats lunch with the cute ex.”

“And you know, since we’ve been texting a lot, I figured…”

“Yeah yeah, bring him over!” Becca said. “It’ll be fun—oh my God, so my brother’s audacity and ego aside, I need to tell you about the girl I met last night.”

“Yeah, I was going to ask you!” you said. “You said you were in love?”

“I am!” she said with a smile. “You know, I was thinking I could invite her and some friends as well, but now that I think about it, maybe I could just take a page from Bucky’s book and open with a marriage proposal.”

“Becca!”

“I’m just saying, we can just skip to the happily married part, flirting is a waste of time at this point and—”

“You’re not doing that!”

Becca let out a laugh.

“I don’t know,” she said. “Just because it didn’t work for him doesn’t mean it wouldn’t work for me.”

“It wouldn’t work for anyone, Becca,” you told her and she hummed.

“I’ll just say one thing about this, then I’ll talk about the love of my life, alright?”

“Alright,” you said and she turned her cup in the saucer, then clicked her tongue.

“You and Bucky being married is an absurd idea yes,” she said. “But he did have a point.”

“How is that?”

“Well, I’ll ask you the same thing my aunt asked me when I took my civilian boyfriend to my cousin’s wedding, and I have a feeling your answer will be different than mine.”

“Which is?”

She smiled at you mischievously.

“Do you want love poems, or do you want power?”

Your eyes shot up to hers before you shifted your weight, then motioned at her with your hand.

“Come on,” you said. “Enough about that. Tell me about the love of your life.”

                                                     *

You and Becca ended up spending the whole day together, and by the time you decided you would go back home, it was already dark outside. Watching outside as the driver drove you home, you leaned your head on the window, then felt your phone buzzing in your purse so you grabbed it, smiling slightly at the name before answering it.

“Hey there.”

“Hi,” Ethan’s voice reached you, and you could tell he was smiling as well. “How was your day?”

“It was good,” you said. “Full of romance.”

“Romance?”

“Becca is in love,” you said and he let out a whistle.

“Your best friend Becca?”  

“Oh yeah,” you said. “I had to talk her out of looking at bridal shops, but we still went cake tasting.”

“Does this person know they’re getting married to Becca?”

“That’s just a small detail,” you joked, making him chuckle. “She invited her to the club for the weekend, I’m pretty excited to meet her. How about you?”

“Do you find data analyzing romantic?”

“Not exactly.”

“Then it was less romantic than your day.”

“And the hospital?” you asked and he took a deep breath.

“Oh everything is fine. Should be free of the bandages next week.”

You bit inside your cheek. “I still feel responsible—”

“Don’t,” he cut you off. “Seriously. The incident had nothing to do with you.”

“Mm hm.”

“Besides, you can’t really blame the rollercoaster if someone gets hurt on one.”

“No one is supposed to get hurt on a rollercoaster,” you pointed out and he thought for a moment.

“Okay in hindsight, it wasn’t the best analogy…”

You pulled your brows together. “Wait, am I the rollercoaster?”

“No! No, you’re sitting next to me on the rollercoaster,” Ethan explained. “We’re both riding it.”

“That’s not—” you started but a black sports car wheezed past yours and sharply drifted sideways as soon as it got in front of your car so that yours would have to stop.

“I’ll call you back Ethan,” you said and hung up the phone, your heart skipping a beat as you grabbed the gun from underneath the seat, looking to your right to see your bodyguards’ car stopping as well. The driver lowered the partition as the bodyguards stepped out of the car.

“It’s Mr. Barnes’ personal car, ma’am,” he said. “I know the plate.”

“Oh Jesus Christ…” you murmured as you put the gun back to where it was and opened your door, then stepped outside at the same time Bucky left his car. Your bodyguards hesitated as soon as they saw him, looking between you and you waved a hand in the air.

“It’s fine guys,” you said and turned to Bucky. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Bucky shrugged his shoulders as if nothing was wrong.

“You blocked my number,” he said. “It’s not like I can text you.”

“And what, it wasn’t enough of a clue?” you asked tersely and Bucky nodded in the direction of his car.

“Come on, get in. We’re going to talk.”

You crossed your arms. “Nope.”

“Charm for fuck’s sake…”

“I’m not going to talk to you, and I’m certainly not getting in your car.”

“You seriously want to do this right here on the road?”

You threw your hands up in frustration. “You are the one who’s blocking the road, motherfucker!”

You could see the petrified expressions on your bodyguards’ faces before one of them gazed up at the sky while the other one put his hands into his pockets and kicked at a tiny pebble on the road, both desperately trying to look like they weren’t hearing you two.

“Listen—”

“I will not,” you retorted. “What is your deal, seriously?”

“We need to talk about last night,” Bucky said and out of the corner of your eye, you noticed the bodyguards exchanging glances, so you gritted your teeth and grabbed Bucky’s arm to pull him to the other side of the car in an attempt to get more privacy.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you said through your teeth and Bucky ran a hand over his face.

“No I’d say there’s plenty to talk about,” he said. “I mean you didn’t even give me an answer—”

“That poor excuse of a joke doesn’t deserve an answer.”

“It wasn’t a joke to me.”

“Well, it was to me.”

He shook his head slightly.

“Just—” he said. “Why not?”

You raised your brows, gawking at him in disbelief and a look of realization dawned on his face before he heaved a sigh.

“Charm…”

You shot him a mocking smile, crossing your arms.

You and Becca sneaking into nightclubs wasn’t a new thing, and now that you were leaving for college in a month, you were trying to spend as much time together as possible. Becca threw her arm over your shoulder as you walked through the crowd to the bar.

“Two martinis please,” she told the bartender and he took a look at you two, but before he could say anything the other bartender muttered something into his ear, then motioned at you.

“Coming right up,” he ended up saying as you turned to Becca.

“So you were saying?”

“Yeah like, he keeps saying he’s too busy but I’m not buying it—ugh, you gotta be kidding me!”

You frowned, then followed her line of sight to see Bucky and Steve stepping outside from the other exit that led to the back alley behind the club, your heart starting to beat faster.

“Where are they going?”

“They’re probably gonna beat someone up, who cares?” Becca said with a shrug of her shoulders. “He’s in such a mood nowadays, I’m not even gonna let him know I’m here. Arrogant asshole.”

You tilted your head. “…Oh?”

“He and daddy had a huge fight the other night,” she said as she took the drink from the bartender while he put the other one in front of you. “Like my mom had to step in because they were at each other’s throats, that kind of a fight.”

“Why?”

Becca shrugged again. “It’s probably about business. The golden heir made a mistake I guess.”

You took a sip of your drink. “Interesting.”

“Yeah and then he went and broke up with Laura.”

Your head shot up. “They broke up?”

“Yeah!” Becca said. “Which, I’m not sorry at all because she was so annoying, but no girl in the world deserves to get dumped by Bucky so I have mixed feelings about the situation.”

You could feel the small glimmer of hope warming your chest and you pursed your lips together, then cleared your throat.

“I just—I forgot I was gonna call my dad, he gets so mad when I don’t let him know,” you said. “I gotta step outside for a moment, I’ll be right back.”

“Okay!” Becca said and you made your way through the dance floor before reaching the second exit, but before you could open the door, Steve had already beaten you to it.

“Y/N,” he said when he saw you. “Hey.”

“Hi,” you smiled at him. “Um—have you seen Bucky?”

Steve looked over his shoulder, then turned to you with an apologetic smile.

“He’s not…” he trailed off. “He’s not in the best mood.”

“Oh that’s okay,” you said and pushed the door open before he could say anything else, then stepped outside, holding your phone for the sake of appearance. When you saw him, Bucky’s bodyguards were dragging a nearly unconscious man out of the alley while he wiped the blood off his knuckles with a tissue, then lit a cigarette.

You could feel your heart beating in your ears, but you bit down on your lip, fixing your dress before clearing your throat.

“Bucky?”

He turned his head when he heard his name, then exhaled the smoke.

“Hey Charm,” he greeted you, making your heart skip a beat. “Is Becca here too?”

You bit inside your cheek, trying not to get discouraged by that, then nodded your head.

“Um, yeah we just got here.”

“Great,” he murmured. “Tell her not to drink too much, will you?”

You nodded again and smiled at him, your hand shaky a little as you fixed your dress again, desperately hoping it looked good on you.

“I didn’t know you would be here.”

“Yeah well, here I am,” he said, taking a drag of his cigarette, leaning back to the brick wall and you licked your lips.

“And are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“Oh, just...” you stammered. “Becca mentioned you and Laura.”

Bucky shrugged his shoulders. “Happens. I’m fine, it was my call.”

Dear God, he was so handsome that you could just stare at him for hours.  

“Are you going to that gala thing as well?” you asked, nervousness pulsing through your system. “My dad is basically dragging me there, is George doing the same?”

His jaw clenched at the mention of his father, and he nodded quietly, exhaling the smoke.

Your voice was trembling a little, your throat incredibly dry because of the nervousness mixed with anticipation, but you still managed to get the words out.

“So I was thinking, do you—um—do you wanna go together?”

That managed to get his attention and he pulled his brows together, then let out a dry laugh.

“Jesus Christ…” he muttered. “What, you rushed here as soon as you heard about me and Laura? Seriously?”

You pulled back slightly, your stomach doing a flip and you shook your head.

“No, I just—”you stammered, tears stinging the back of your eyes already. “I was just thinking—”

“Listen, I know you don’t see it right now, but this little crush of yours is just…” he trailed off with a small chuckle, motioning between you. “It’s kind of adorable, but it’s not going to happen. If I go to that gala with you, you’ll get your hopes up, so will everyone else around us and I’ll end up trapped in something serious—which is out of question. I can’t trust you with the business, not when you’d probably report everything back to your own family and I can’t afford a mistake, not right now.”

You tried to blink back the tears, staring at him as he threw the cigarette butt on the ground, then put his hands in his pockets and shrugged.

“Not to mention,” he said. “I don’t go for daddy’s spoiled whiny princess type, and you’d be better off with a nicer guy anyway.”

You could feel the sobs threatening to climb up your chest, so you sniffled and turned around to rush back into the club, leaving him there before he could say anything else.

“Don’t tell me that’s the reason,” Bucky’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you arched a brow.

“I said nothing.”

“It was what, almost ten years ago?” he asked. “I was an idiot—”

“I am really not interested in whatever this bullshit is,” you told him. “And I’m going to be late for dinner, so…”

“Just hear me out first—”

You looked over your shoulder and motioned at the driver.  “Turn the car around please!”

The driver did as you asked but before you could step away from Bucky, he grabbed your arm.

“Charm, I can help you get the power you want,” he insisted as you rolled your eyes. “You might hate me right now, but you know I can do that. Just let me get you that crown.”

“We’re done here.” You yanked your arm out of his grip and walked to the car but stopped when you reached it, turning your head to look at him.

“I’m not going to marry you Bucky,” you called out, fully aware that the bodyguards could hear you, and the mere thought gave you a strange sense of satisfaction. “I would never marry you. I don’t go for the arrogant asshole type, and you’d be better off with a nicer girl anyway.”

 With that you got in the car, and the driver started driving as soon as you slammed the door shut, the car gliding down the road smoothly.

“Unbelievable,” you muttered to yourself and leaned your head back, closing your eyes. “The fucking audacity.”

Chapter 6

[crazyunsexycool]

Is it a crime?

Chapter 8

Pairing: mob boss!bucky Barnes x mob boss!reader

Word count:5.2k

Warnings: angst, some physical violence, physical violence against a pregnant woman, death threats, gun use, teenage pregnancy scare, arguing I think that’s all

A/N: some of you are upset on how the last chapter ended and I’m sorry! I hope some parts of this chapter makes up for it. A LOT is revealed here too. Please let me know what you think. A very special shout out to the very lovely Em ( @writing-for-marvel ) for being such an amazing person an creating dividers for this series I absolutely love them. Em is also a very talented writer so you should check out her writing!!!

Series masterlist

Ch. 7

17 years old

You paced back and forth in your bathroom. Bucky sat at the edge of the bathtub, his leg bouncing as he watched you. The wait was pure agonizing torture. After a few minutes the timer you had set went off. The answer you were waiting for would be the best news or the worst. You pick up the little white stick with a pink lid and read the result, sighing in relief.

“What does it say?” Bucky asked, still unmoving from his spot.

“It’s negative.”

You showed him the pregnancy test and he frowns slightly. His reaction causes you to frown on return. He pulls you closer so that you’re standing in between his legs. His arms wrap around your hips.

“Did you want to have a baby now?” You ask in a whisper. “We’re still in school.”

“Now or in five or ten years or fifteen years, it doesn’t matter. As long as you’re the mother of my children.”

He smiles up at you, that sweet boyish smile you love and you can’t help but run your hand through his unruly hair.

“What if we’re not together by that time? Or we stop loving each other?”

He pulls back and looks you dead in the eye, his expression serious. “The day I stop loving you is the day I die. Even then I’d come back as a ghost to haunt you with my love.”

“You weirdo.” You laugh at the last part.

“I can live with that as long as you promise to love me back, and marry me when the time is right and have my children.”

“Only you Barnes, only you.” You smile brightly down at him before you connect your lips with his.

“You got her pregnant?!” Bucky hears behind him. He turns in his chair to see Becca walking into his living room and right towards him with a scowl on her face.

It was too early for this. To have this talk or fight. His head was still pounding from the horrible hangover he acquired, which takes a lot of alcohol considering he isn’t a lightweight.

“Answer me, James.”

“No.” He says quietly at first. “I don’t think so— maybe.”

When Becca stands in front of her older brother she can see the red rimmed and puffy eyes. There were dark bags under said eyes, his hair was disheveled as if he ran his hand through it multiple times. It’s obvious Bucky hasn’t slept or eaten anything since Dot announced the pregnancy and that had only been a few hours ago. But it was your face that kept showing up anytime he closed his eyes.

“Why would you even sleep with her? I thought you hated her guts.”

“Becca please, I can’t do this now. How did you even find out?”

“She’s been at home for the last hour talk-“

“It’s like 8:00 am.”

“Anyways, I came here because she was talking to dad. Dot is trying to convince him to make you move up the wedding since she doesn’t want to look pregnant in her wedding dress.”

Bucky’s eyes snap up to look at his sister.

“Fuck,” he throws the glass he had in his hand against the window. “Let’s go now. I’m not moving that wedding up.”

“You should shower and change first, you smell like a cheap bar.”

“Fine.” Bucky growls before stomping away toward his room.

****

Once he’s freshly showered and dressed Bucky heads back downstairs. There’s a whispered conversation going on between Steve and Becca. They both turn to look at him once he makes his presence known. Steve’s expression is more grim than Becca’s.

“What did she say?”

Steve opens his mouth but closes it again. He smooths his beard as he tries to think of the easiest way to say what you had told him.

“Will you just spit it out?”

“She told me to tell you to leave her the fuck alone and that you should be focusing on your future wife and child.”

Bucky curses under his breath.

“I’ll deal with dad first, let's go.”

Not much had changed in the old restaurant Pierce had brought you to. It was his usual spot even when you were a kid. The waitstaff still feared him, his men were still posted at every entryway. He still sat at the same table, with his back to the wall leaving you to sit with your back to a huge window. Sometimes you thought of just sending Cougar to take him out from a few rooftops away but that would take the fun out of everything. And if one thing was certain it was that you wanted to watch Pierce realize he’d lost. For now you indulge this little power trip of his.

“You know I gave up on looking for you about three years ago. You were in the clear, you could have kept living your life. So I don’t understand why you would do something so stupid like come back?” He looked at you over his coffee.

“You’re too old to be acting this stupid Pierce. You know why I’m back.”

“Watch your fucking attitude with me, princess.” He slammed his hand on the table, causing all the cutlery and plates to clang against each other.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. My, my someone is testy this morning. What’s wrong Pierce, did your prune juice not work for you?”

“I’m going to give you one day,” he held up one finger as he glared at you. “To pack your shit along with those good for nothing goons you brought with you, and get out of town. After that I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

“Is that supposed to scare me? Come on, you know better than that.” You shifted in your seat and sat up straighter. “I’m only going to tell you this once, I’m here to take back everything you stole from me. There is no negotiating, I will leave you with nothing and when we get to the end and you’re begging me to just end you, I will take pleasure in keeping you on the brink of death until I see fit.”

Pierce laughed and when he stopped he had a smug smile on his lips.

“Was that supposed to scare me?” He mocks. “I’ve taught you everything you know, I’ll always be ahead of you. There’s not a move you can make that I won’t know about and I will make your existence so miserable you’ll be the one begging for your life to end.” He takes another sip of his coffee. “I could have had you killed the minute you stepped into my city but as a courtesy I wanted to have this sit down. I’ll only warn you once. The minute you step out of that door you have 24 hours to leave. If not, get ready for war.”

You smile at him before lifting your hand and signaling for someone or something. The window cracks and splinters, a bullet flies by your and Pierce’s head imbedding itself in the wall behind him. Before he or his bodyguards have time to react you’ve already gotten up from your seat. You grab Pierce by the back of his neck and slam his head against the table. The gun Rosie had given you just that morning is in your hand and pressed against his temple. “Tell them to back off.” You instruct Pierce as his men point their guns at you. “Now!”

“Do it, put your guns down and back off.”

You lean in “I’ve been ready for war for ten years. You should have killed me when you had the chance. If you think you can intimidate me with your old school bullshit, you’ve got another thing coming. That was the only warning shot you get, next time my guy won’t miss.” You push his head against the table once again before standing up straight. The gun you brandished was now pointed at the other men.

“Where did you get that gun?” He asked, sounding a bit panicked and surprised.

“Why do you care?”

“That was your mother’s gun.” He said through heavy breaths. “She was supposed to have it the night she died but it wasn’t in the car.”

The comment confuses you, how would he know if it was or wasn’t in the car.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure this is the gun I use when I kill you.” You snap before walking out of the restaurant.

Jake was waiting in a car just outside for you. You get in and he barely waits for the door to close before pulling away. He’s fuming, you can tell by the way the veins in his neck are about to pop out.

“Can you tell me what the fuck that was about?” Jake says through gritted teeth. He’s gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles are white. “What were you fucking thinking? He could have killed you.”

“He wasn’t going to. Pierce likes his little cat and mouse game. He has a strict set of rules he likes to follow, he never deviates from it. You know this.”

“That’s not the damn point.” he practically yells at you.

“Watch your tone with me Jensen. I’m your fucking boss, I make the calls not you.”

“And I’m not some low level pusher. I’m your right hand and I’ll call you out when I have to. Listen I get you’re upset about the Barnes thing, but that’s not an excuse to be so damn reckless.” His voice softens a little.

“Stop the car.”

“What?”

“I said stop the fucking car.” You snap and he does as you ask. “You have more important things to do, get to ‘em.” You say as you get out of the car and slam the door shut.

He drives away while you stand there. You take a deep breath and you wish you could smash someone’s head in.

“Fuck.” You mutter as you walk down the sidewalk.

“Oh my gosh, what happened to the window baby?”

“What the fuck are you doing here Dot?” Pierce glared at the bubbly blonde from his seat at the table.

“Well I wanted to see you and you weren’t at your office. The plan worked, James and Y/N think the baby is his.”

Dot gets closer to the older man and inspects his face. She gasps as she sees the red splotches on his face from where you slammed his head against the table.

“Who did this?” She tried to caress his cheek.

Pierce grabbed her wrist and pulled it away from him.

“Ow, Alex you’re hurting me.”

“Are you fucking stupid? Did the bleach finally seep into your brain and ate away at your common sense? Y/N could have seen you. It could have ruined everything.”

“But I just wanted to see you. I’ve missed you and I know the baby misses his daddy.”

“You missed me?” Pierce’s hand connected with Dot’s face. The sound like thunder in the otherwise quiet room. “If you ever do anything stupid like showing up here I will kill you myself, understood?”

Dot tries to wipe the tears away and nods.

“Oh baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to do that but sometimes you just make me so angry. Come here.” Pierce pulls Dot into a hug. “Now do me a favor. Get on your phone and call Rumlow and tell him to meet me here. Can you do that?”

“Brock is already outside. I’ll just tell him to come in.”

“Why don’t you do that and go home. We can’t risk our plan falling apart now can we?”

“No sir.” Dot walks out of the dining area and gets Brock before leaving.

“You wanted to see me?”

“If you ever let your sister near this area again, I will end you.” Pierce glared at the younger man.

“Understood. Anything else?”

“I gave Y/N 24 hours to leave. Burn down one of her warehouses tomorrow.”

“You think she won’t leave?”

“Of course not. I taught her better than that. The offer was just a formality. Now go keep an eye on her place. I want to know what happens.”

“You got it.”

Bucky walked into his family home ready to tear his father apart if he tried to have the wedding moved up. Dot was already gone by the time he arrived which was good because he would have strangled her. He said a quick hello to his mother and walked right into his father’s study. The older man glared at him, George Barnes hated being interrupted in the middle of what seemed like a meeting. This would have earned Bucky a beating but not anymore. Honestly Bucky would like to see his father try and swing at him.

“You know the rules, boy. I’m working and don’t just walk in here when I’m in a meeting.” George growls.

“This meeting is on hold,” Bucky looked down at the man in his father’s office. “Donny take a break.”

Donny looked between the two men and got up to quickly exit the room. He was more afraid of Bucky than he was of George. Bucky had earned a certain reputation over the last ten years that his father could never have.

“If you ever disrespect me-“

Bucky held his hand up to stop his father from going on and on about all the things he would do.

“I don’t have time for this, I know you know about Dot being pregnant. I’m pretty sure that kid isn’t mine so I’m not moving up the wedding. If I find out who the real father is, the wedding and the engagement are off. I’m not going to negotiate any other contract with you. If it turns out that I’m right you’re keeping up the end of our deal.”

“You think you can make demands? This is my business. I say what will and won’t happen. I give the orders and who does what. You’re nothing more than an ungrateful brat. And don’t think that your sister won’t get what’s coming to her for running to you this morning.”

Metal hits wood, a huge indent forms on the dark wooden desk. Cracks shoot out in different directions, effectively breaking the desk.

“You haven’t done shit for this business in years. I’ve been doing all the work, so what I say goes because I’m tired of your fucking bullshit. You don’t even know what’s going on outside these walls, the threats I’ve ended so that we can continue to operate in this city. From now on you will report to me. And if I find out that you put a finger on Becca I will make sure your death is slow and painful. Because trust me I’ve thought of it many, many times already.” Bucky sneered.

“Yeah, if you’re so tough then why haven’t you done anything about it?”

“Because of ma. Maybe you oughta be more grateful I haven’t gotten rid of you yet.” With that Bucky walks out.

He doesn’t care what his father has to say or think anymore. There were more important things in his life and if he really wanted to keep the business going there were more than enough men that were loyal to him. Bucky finds Donny, one of his father’s trusted men. One that had slowly started to gain more respect and fear of Bucky. Bucky instructed him to let the others know he was now in full command of the Barnes family and their businesses. Everyone reported to him and if someone didn’t like it they’d be eliminated.

Now all Bucky had to do was find a way to talk to you.

You got out of the cab you had flagged down after your disagreement with Jake. The familiar brownstone stood in front of you in all its glory. It reminded you of many childhood memories, both good and bad. You only have to wait a minute after knocking. The door flies open to reveal Joseph Rogers.

“Little otter I didn’t know you were coming over today.” He greets you happily. “Come in, Sarah will be so happy to see you.”

You give him a half smile as you walk in and head toward the kitchen where Joseph told you Sarah was. The older woman turned and her face lit up when she saw you walk in. She quickly wrapped you up in a hug. It took everything in you to not break down and cry. You were all raw emotions and doubt. So many questions swimming in your head.

“Well what brings you by today? I heard the club had its grand opening last night. How did that go?”

“It was successful in all the ways that mattered.”

Sarah looked over at her husband with worry as she placed a cup of coffee in front of you.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Just that it did what it was supposed to. I have business deals starting up and I’m meeting with some local business owners in the next few days that are on Pierce territory. They want out from under him and I’m willing to provide the protection. Pierce even had the nerve to show up at my parents' graves this morning. He gave me a day to leave or he wouldn’t be responsible for his actions.”

“That piece of shit. Your father should have gotten rid of him when he had the chance.” Joseph says.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything otter.”

You pull out your mother’s gun and place it on the table.

“Hey, no guns on the table.”

“Sorry Sarah.” You smile at her before turning to Joseph. “Rosie gave it to me this morning. She said mom gave it to you to fix and you returned it but my parents had already left that night. I pulled this gun on Pierce and he was surprised to see it. He said that it was supposed to be in the car that night but it wasn’t. Do you know why he would care about it?”

Again Sarah and Joseph look at each other. The latter gave his wife a single nod.

“There’s something you need to know, Y/N.” Sarah said as she gently placed a hand over yours. “Before your mother was the head of her family and before your parents even met, your mom and Pierce dated. He was very much in love with her. Maybe he wanted to keep the gun to remember her?”

You stare at Sarah with nothing but pure shock and disbelief on your face. The nervous habit of playing with the locket that belonged to your mother brought you a little bit of comfort.

“Did my father know?”

“He was aware of Pierce’s feelings for her but I don't know if he was aware of their relationship.” Sarah tells you as she eyes the necklace. “You know your mother had a locket just like that.”

“This was her locket.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you had it. She never took it off.”

Something about this didn’t feel right. The new information about your mother’s past relationship with Pierce made you question some things from your past.

“I should go. Thank you for everything.” You say as you stand and place the gun back in its holster.

“You don’t have to thank us. Just make sure you come around when you can little otter.”

You hugged them both and walked out. Cougar was leaning against the car you had used to drive to the cemetery. He tipped his hat in the direction of the Rogers and opened the door for you.

“Where to, boss?” He asks after getting into the driver's side.

“Wherever Jake is.”

Jake was typing furiously. It’s like he was punishing the keyboard for the argument between the two of you. He heard the door to his office open but ignored it, there were more important things to deal with. Until a little plastic T-Rex was placed on his desk. The corner of his lip ticks upward. Little plastic dinosaurs had always been how you apologized. There was no rhyme or reason to it. The tradition started when you were little and it stuck. You both had a small collection and you would trade them back and forth.

“I’m sorry about how I reacted this morning. You had every right to call me out. It’s one of the reasons I trust you so much.” You say quietly.

Cerulean eyes framed in circular glasses meet yours. They hold no real anger in them. It always made you wonder how Jake could be so kind but so cruel when needed.

“I was out of line too. I just freaked out when Cougar called me and told me what was happening. I’ve seen you go through too much for it to be over so quickly. So what did he want?”

“He’s giving us 24 hours to leave New York or he won’t be responsible for his actions.”

“Like he’ll be able to do any real damage.” Jake rolls his eyes and turns back to his computer. “Good job on placing that mic though. It took a few minutes but I have it up and running now. It seems like that’s where he likes to do business. Or at least some of it. They have cameras but no audio. I hacked in so that we have visuals and with our mic we have the audio we need for our back up plan. I also thought that if we could offer better deals people would agree to do deals with us instead.”

“This is why you’re my right hand JJ.” You clear your throat. “I need to ask you something. Do you remember when I asked you to look into my mom?”

He stops his typing and turns to look at you again. “Yeah.”

“What did you find?”

Jake pushes off the ground sending his computer chair gliding through his office at the club. He stops himself in front of a cabinet and rifles through until he finds what he’s looking for. Jake pulls out a thick folder. He then moves back to his desk and sets it down.

“This is all I have. It includes those offshore accounts she had made in your name that I found a few years back.”

“Is there anything in here about her death? Any crime scene photos or anything?”

“No, it seems like the police department is behind on digitizing their cold cases. Why?”

“I just found out some very interesting information and I wanted to see what the police found.”

“I’ll find a way to get my hands on it as soon as possible.” Jake stands and opens his arms offering a hug, which you accept.

“Thanks JJ, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Let’s never find out.”

You massage your temples after rereading the information Jake had given you. The music tonight annoys you and you consider going home for the night. There’s no real need to be here and Clay can look over the club. You sigh as you grab the drink you had poured for yourself and finish it off. Sinking into your office chair you close your eyes and think about what’s happened in the last 24 hours.

How bucky had his way with you on your desk and left you floating on cloud nine only to be pulled back down to reality just minutes later. You still couldn’t understand the whole issue he had with this supposed contract. Now it really didn’t matter, Bucky was going to get married and be a father. Two things you’d thought you’d experience together.

The door opens and you’re surprised to hear the soft click of the handle as it closes again. But you’re not in the mood to deal with anyone so you don’t bother to open your eyes.

“Whatever the issue is, Clay can deal with it. Go bother him and leave me alone. I’m going home anyways.”

“Good, let me take you that way we can talk.”

You sighed as you slowly opened your eyes to find Bucky walking towards your desk. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. There were dark circles under his eyes and he just looked hung over. You tilt your head slightly, taking in his form from head to toe.

“No.”

“Just let me explain, bug.” He said as he stopped in front of your desk. Seeing Bucky standing there brought back the memories from the night before. You suppress the shiver that wants to run down your back.

“You had your chance to tell me the truth and you didn’t. That’s your problem not mine.”

“What? When was I supposed to tell you she was pregnant? I didn’t even know.”

You stand up and put some space between the two of you. This is the last thing you wanted to do right now. It hurt so much, just the thought of Dot having the one person you loved the most.

“I asked you if you loved her and you said you couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with her. You could have told me then. Did you sleep with her?” You look up at him.

He pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue and drags it down. Bucky did that when he was trying to find a way to say something he didn’t want to.

“It’s not what you think.”

“Get out.”

“No,” Bucky moves and walks towards you. He’s determined to get you to listen to him. Bucky puts an arm around your waist as you try to walk away from him and pulls you back until you're against a wall. He cages you in, his body pressed into yours and you can smell the alcohol he must’ve drowned himself in. “I’m not going to lose you again. So you’re going to listen to me until I’m done.” He says through gritted teeth, he’s so close his breath hits your cheek.

“If you actually fucking cared you’d give me my space. But obviously you don't, so I want you out of my club before I have you removed.”

“Call them in, have all of your people come in here and try to take me away from you. It ain’t gonna happen. Dot was a fucking mistake, I only slept with her once. I was drunk and I don’t even remember finishing. I wouldn’t be surprised if that kid wasn’t even mine. So please, don’t push me away.”

“You don’t fucking get it do you? It’s not just about the baby. I asked you and you didn’t tell me the truth.” You manage to get away from him and put some distance between the two of you. There was that familiar sting in your eyes of tears threatening to spill. You couldn’t allow them to reveal how much the situation hurt you. “I’m not naive, I couldn’t expect you to not move on or not sleep around, I did.”

Bucky’s jaw clenched at the admission. The thought of someone else holding you like he did angered him beyond belief. Even if he had slept around, none of them were you. He would kick them out of his apartment as soon as he was done, he didn’t care if they were satisfied. They were just a means to an end.

“Y/N, It’s not like that. I promise-“

“Instead of making promises to me you should be making them to your fiancée and your unborn baby. And I’d be very grateful if you’d stay on your territory, taking care of your business and not here. I have more important things to worry about.” You say as you turn and stare him down.

He scoffs before crossing the room and once again invading your space. His hand comes up and he places a finger under your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

“This isn’t over. I don’t care if it takes another fucking decade for you to believe me.”

“Bucky…”

The door opens revealing Roque and Cougar, effectively stopping the conversation from continuing. They both look at Bucky and then at you, waiting for your command.

“Make sure he leaves and figure out how he got past security. If someone let him in I want to know who it was.” You say without taking your eyes off of Bucky.

Bucky steps away, a slightly defeated look crosses his features before he walks away. Cougar follows him out but Roque stays behind.

“You ok, princess?”

You look up at him. “No but I will be. Do you know if Nebula and Gamora are set up at the warehouses?”

“Yeah, it’s what I came to tell you. They are ready to go and will keep us informed of anything that happens.”

“Good, now come sit I have to go over a few things.”

*******

Cougar silently walks Bucky out through the back of the club. Neither of them say anything until they’re at the door.

“Listen, I’m not going to stop until she believes me. That kid isn’t mine.” Bucky was just desperate.

“I believe you, Barnes.”

Bucky turns to look at him. It felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders just by having one of your people know the truth.

“But, maybe you should worry about your fiancée more than you do my boss.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Do you know where your fiancée is when she isn’t with you?” Cougar shrugs. “Maybe you should figure out who she hangs out with before you try to get Boss’ attention again. And you’ll have to do better than just sneak in here because next time I’ll just shoot you, and I never miss.” Cougar just nods towards the door, a clear indication for Bucky to leave.

He pushes the door to find Steve leaning against his car. Arms crossed over his chest, he glared at his best friend once he’s close enough.

“I told you she wanted you to fuck off and you show up here anyways?”

“What did you expect me to do, let her think I have any feelings for Dot?” Bucky snaps as he gets into the car.

“You should have given her the space she wanted, she’s dealt with enough today.”

“What happened?”

Steve sighs. “My parents told me she showed up at their place. She had a sit down with Pierce and he gave her twenty four hours to leave or else.”

“That fucker. We should just take him out.”

“If it were that easy we would have done it a long time ago.” Steve replies. “So what should we do?”

Bucky looks over at his friend for a moment and thinks about everything that has happened.

“Take me to the pub.”

“The pub?”

“Yeah, I’ve taken full control of my family’s business and I need people I can trust.”

“To the pub it is. The guys will be excited.”

“I hope so.” Bucky muttered.

If you really had a sit down with Pierce already, the war that was coming was going to get ugly fast. He should know he had been on the receiving end. It’s how he lost his arm. But even with everything going on between the two of you he needed to be ready to protect you. Because if there is one thing you two have in common is the fact that you would kill or die for each other, no matter what.

Ch 9

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[fandomnsfw]

Teddy Bear’s and Alpha Daddy’s - Scott McCall x Reader (Part 2/2)

Pairing: Scott McCall x Reader

Warnings: Nothing just FLUFF and pack cuddles. And DerBear is a softy!

Enjoy!!

*********

You were seething. Her hand brushed over his arm as she laughed at something he said. Becca was the year bellow you and Scott and currently despite knowing he’s taken, she’s flirting up a storm. You felt your claws extend as your body started shaking violently.

“Shit what are you doing put your eyes away!” Stiles face came into view as if trying to block your view.

“Look at her.” You growled as you took a deep breath closing your eyes to get control.

“Oh I see now. Yeah I understand that one. Yesterday I went grocery shopping with Der and the check out girl literally had the nerve to give her number to him in front of me! I swear he’s too hot to be in public.” Stiles huffed in annoyance.

You looked over to Scott and she was pressing her chest to his upper arm as she clung to it. You didn’t care that Scott looked uncomfortable because he was still letting out happen.

“I’m gonna rip her throat out with my teeth!” You growled as she tried to go for her getting the attention of Scott.

Stiles grabbed you so fast you would’ve probably been shocked if it weren’t for the violent anger you were currently feeling. You felt two people grab you from behind dragging you off quickly.

“Let me go!” You screamed as they dragged you into the boys lockers room.

“Y/N calm down!” You heard Lydia shout from the door. Your eyes snapped to hers with a snarl as you threw off both people holding you.

As you were about to get out you ran into a solid chest that quickly spun you back into the locker room. You were about to launch again but his voice snapped you out of it instantly.

“Kneel!” You felt to the floor instantly, kneeling with you eyes to the ground. Oh no, you were in trouble.

“S-She was touching you…” You whimpered, looking up at him through your lashes. You could feel yourself slipping into little space. This was bad.

“Baby girl we’ve been over this. You can’t just lose it in the middle of school. Now look, you’ve switched I can smell it.” He signed as he started crouching to look you in the eyes.

“I-I’m sorry Da-” You quickly looked around the room and realised all eyes were on you.

“I-I wanna go home.” You gasped as you tried to avoid your pack mates eyes.

“Baby you’ve got a test later, you can’t.” Scott sighed sympathetically as he scooped you into his arms.

“What’s wrong with her?” You heard Liam ask, the question made you tense in Scott’s arms he must’ve felt because he looked away from you. Scott’s eyes let’s Liam’s flashing red in a warning before Stiles started speaking.

“Nothing wrong with her!” He snapped angrily before he approached you and Scott.

“Hey Princess, can you do me a favour?” Stiles asked softly as he bent down in front of you.

“W-What?” You stuttered as you moved out head away from Scott’s chest to look at Stiles.

“Can you go with Lydia to my car to get me a lollipop? If you want you can get one while your there?” He spoke sweetly his smile making you cheer up instantly.

“R-Really?” You giggled wiping your eyes.

“Yep come on sweetie let’s go see what flavours they have!” Lydia caught on quickly, reaching out to you with her hand. You happily took it as she took Stiles keys and lead you out of the locker room.

Scott stood up and brushed himself off before crossing his arms, taking his alpha stance. Everyone straightened up and waited for him to talk.

“She’s a little. I haven’t got time to sit and tell you everything that it entails but I’m gonna have Stiles print off information, rules and schedules. All I can say right now is sometimes she is like a child and needs more care. As her pack that shouldn’t be hard for you to adjust to. If anyone has a problem with it once they’ve read everything then you can leave the pack.” Scott informed them with a serious face, everyone was shocked. Scott had never told anyone they could leave no matter the situation.

“I know what it is an I have no problems. I’ll explain it to Liam later at lunch.” Mason smiled softly earning a smile from Scott.

“I’m gonna take a guess and say Lydia probably knows considering she reads too much for her own good.” Stiles snorted with a smiles before turning to Malia.

“You good Malia?” Stiles asked when she just stared at the floor with wide eyes.

“What was she gonna call you?” Malia suddenly asked and a smirk took over her entire face.

Mason and Stiles started laughing as soon the question was out her mouth. Scott closed his eyes, tipping his head back with a blush spreading over his cheeks.

“Daddy.” He muttered before dropping his head to look at his pack mates.

“Kinky.” Malia laughed as she wiggled her brows earning a halfhearted glare from Scott.

After a few more questions Lydia walked back in with you in tow except now half your hair was in two tiny space buns, the rest of your hair was down. You also had a lollipop stick protruding out of your fleshly glossed lips.

“Don’t you look cute kitten.” Scott chuckled as you let go of Lydia’s hand and ran into Scott’s arms.

His arms were the safest place in the world to you. No matter what happens you know at the end of the day you’ll be fine as long as Scott will hold you. He was your home.

You showed him your lollipop with a grin, he chuckled and nodded his head with approval. He flicked one of your Space buns making you gasp with a glare directed at him.

“Daddy don’t do that! Lydia did them perfect!” You huffed angrily before running back to Lydia. She gave Scott a playful scolding look as she cuddled you.

After Lydia fixed your hair and you finished your lollipop Scott picked you up in his arms before sitting down in a bench with you in his lap. He stared into your eyes with so much love it made you blush.

“Right come on baby girl, Daddy needs you to come out of little space for now. I promise as soon as schools over, we’ll go to your house pick up all your little stuff and spend the night at the pack house and you can be in little space for as long as you want. Okay?” He muttered softly you gave him a pout but figured it was probably for the best.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful and thankfully no one even registered what had happened earlier in the day. Scott promised he’d stay away from Becca since it clearly bothered you a lot.

The pack was currently split between three vehicle’s; Stiles’ jeep, Lydia’s Prius and Scott’s bike. You were sat on the back of Scott’s bike as he drove ahead to grab the things from your place. Lydia followed the bike whilst Stiles went straight to the pack house.

You arrived at your house with Lydia, Scott and Malia followed. You were yet to slip into little space mostly because without it being triggered you felt nervous too in front of Lydia and Malia. Lydia had been nice to you but you were still unsure whether Malia would be as calm about it.

“Right let’s pick out a few things since it’s Friday today, we can all stay at the pack house all weekend. Come on Princess show me the wardrobe!” Lydia giggled as she dragged you to your room Malia awkwardly following.

“Baby I’m gonna get your other stuff together let me know when you’re done.” Scott called as you heard him scuttling around the house finding things to take. You assumed it was probably your pacifier and your sippy cups maybe a few other bits.

You easily slipped into little space without even realising since everyone made it so smooth and natural. You felt happy that everyone was being calm, it made you less anxious.

“Let’s see…Ooo cute where did you get this?” Lydia asked excitedly as she picked up your pink overall dress.

“I don’t know D-Daddy got it for me.” You muttered shyly but Lydia didn’t make a big deal if anything she looked impressed.

“He has better taste than Stiles that’s for sure.” She snorted before turning both began picking more things to take.

You change in your cream T-shirt, your dusky pink overall dress and a pair or khaki green sneakers. You also threw on your fluffy teddy bear jacket just so you wouldn’t be too cold on the bike. It wasn’t exactly cold where you were but as you’d experienced when on a bike it can get cool you down pretty fast.

If you were human wearing a dress on a bike would be quite dangerous incase you fell off but even then Scott is a good rider and you’d probably trust him anyway. You packed your colouring pencils and colouring book, along with your favourite stuffie and your blanket.

You followed Lydia out your room to see Scott already waiting with a new cream teddy bear backpack. You squeaked excitedly as you put it on with Scott’s help. You’d seen if a few weeks ago but as usually you never managed to save enough before it came off the rack.

“Daddy got it for you a few weeks ago when you did so well in your last test.” Scott exclaimed playfully cupping your cheeks gently as he bent down to place a small kiss on the end of your nose.

“Thank you so much! I love you Daddy!” You giggled happily before throwing your arms around him.

“I love you too baby girl.” He chuckled wrapping his arms around you tightly.

“Right let’s get going they’ve already ordered food and if we don’t get there soon out food will be gone to the savagers.” Lydia grumbled as she looked at her phone. She grabbed the bags and walked out the door with Malia quietly following.

Scott hopped on his bike before you followed suit it was a little awkward because your dress was denim but you made it work before gripping onto Scott’s leather jacket covered waist. He smelt like leather and motor oil and a slight scent of disinfectant either from work or his mom. It smelt like home.

You arrived at the pack house and hopped off the bike quickly before running into the house with a giddy scream. Derek must’ve heard you because his head popped around the door with a smile.

“DerBear!” You giggled running up and launching yourself at him.

“Little one! How are you today?” Derek asked with a soft chuckle as he picked you up with one arm carrying you to the kitchen as Scott, Lydia and Malia followed.

“I’m okay but there was a stupid girl who was all touchy touchy with MY Daddy! Can you believe it!?” You huffed grumpily as you remembered this mornings events.

“So what did you do?” Derek gasped playing along with you annoyance.

“I was gonna rip her throat out with my teeth! But butt head Liam and Malia stopped me!” You growled over at Liam before glaring at Malia who threw her arms up in defence.

“That’s my girl.” Derek grinned proudly as Stiles rolled his eyes.

“Think you’ll find this little angry wolf is mine Hale.” Scott growled playfully as he took you from Dereks arms with a possessive glare on his face.

“Silly Daddy everyone knows that.” You sighed with an eye roll.

“Oooh is that right kitten?” Scott huffed a smile taking over his face.

“Mhmm.” You giggled before placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Come let’s go pick a film before food gets here.” Scott laughed before picking you up and carrying you out the kitchen to the front room.

Everyone was so normal and quiet as dinner went by. Despite the fact that Scott would occasionally wipe your face or call you a good girl for eating vegetables you didn’t overly like.

By the end of the film everyone was some how on the big ‘u’ shaped couch. Cory was sat on Mason’s lap on the left edge, Malia and Lydia were sat in the corner together under a blanket, you and Scott were sat in the middle of the ‘u’ cuddled up under your favourite blanket, Derek had Stiles on his lap tucked under his arm in the other corner and Liam and Hayden were cuddling at the other edge.

It was moments like this that made you love everything you had even more. You glanced up at Scott with a tired smile. He caught your eyes and gave you the sweetest smile. You reached up, placing a soft kiss on his lips before pulling back.

“I love you Daddy.” You whispered so quietly if Scott didn’t have wolf hearing you of doubted he heard it

“I love you too Princess, so much.” He chuckled squeezing your body tighter to his as if to prove it somehow.

“I’m so lucky to have you and this family.” You muttered, tears springing to your eyes.

“We’re just as lucky to have you baby girl.” Scott whispered lovingly, his hand caressing your face. You hoped the rest of your life could be spent like this. In Scott’s arms, the pack curling up around you and being able to slip whenever, because you know that your pack has your back.

Part 1 <;-

[thesilvercup]

Come Home Baby

Jake Seresin x Reader

Part two here: please don’t forget me

ok so part one of a new series I’m doing! Hopefully this one gets completed! Let me know what you think by liking, reblogging, or commenting! Or don’t! It’s not necessary ☺️

Warnings: angst? eventual smut and fluff (not in chapter one that’s for sure) uncomfortable breakup

Word Count: 1.016k

I know it’s late and I know you don’t want to hear from me but one thing that I want you to know is that I’ll always be there for you. No matter the day or year say the word and I’ll be there. Sent.

Fuck I really messed this up. That sounds so stupid. Texting people has always been hard for me. I just wanted to tell him one last time before we go our separate ways.

————————— earlier —————————

Jake and I had been dating for 4 years prior to this. I thought he was going to propose yet he told me that he was going away. Jake said not to wait for him but I’ll always wait for him. Mind, body, and soul I belong to him. Like the stars belong to the sky and the waves belong to the ocean. He wouldn’t listen to me and already packed his stuff out of my tiny apartment before I got back from work. But even then I couldn’t hate him.

His eyes were misty no matter how much he blinked and his voice had a tremor to it. “Why,” I cried out. “Why are you breaking up with me? I told you I would stand by your side through anything.”

“Becca,” he whispered, “I don’t want you to stand by my casket. I fly out tomorrow. Get over me. Hate me. Please.”

“Jake,” I croaked out, “I could never hate you. Not a single bone in my body could ever hate you in the slightest.” I reach up to try and hold his face in my hands one last time.

He pushes my hands away, for the first time ever. Tears slip down my eyes unbeknownst to him.

I collapse onto my couch we were hovering next to. The sobs break out of me once I hear my front door shut.

“Is this real,” I cry out. It simply can’t be! I wanted a life with him. Children, a house, a dog, anything. I wanted our futures to be inter winded. I need our futures to be intertwined.

As hours pass I find myself growing calmer but increasingly concerned for Jake. Why did he feel the need to break up with me? Is the mission that serious? It has to be. He loves me. He wanted to be together until our last breaths.

Is this some sick joke, I ponder. Tears quietly escape my eyes and trail down my face falling onto my now damp sweater, that Jake bought me. He said that it was his favorite color; baby blue. I break down again. Struggling to handle what happened I call the one person who could give me more insight, Allie. My lifelong best friend who is married to a Navy Seal.

After calling my best friend, Allie, I decide that he needs support. Allie spoke about what went through Alex’s mind every time he was deployed. He was scared to lose her, to lose his life, and never see her again.

Although this didn’t calm me down I decided o would just have to accept this as a known fact.

I draft multiple messages never seeming to be good enough. How could they be good? What requirements does a message like this need?

Thoughts race and race in my head until I write the best one. It should be good enough. My hand hovers over the send button. I close my eyes and tap it.

I open my eyes to check, it was sent.

I know it’s late and I know you don’t want to hear from me but one thing that I want you to know is that I’ll always be there for you. No matter the day or year say the word and I’ll be there. Sent.

I regret sending that so much. What if it was too much? Or even too little? Anxiety bubbles up in my stomach.

Fuck I really messed this up. That sounds so stupid. Texting people has always been hard for me. I just wanted to tell him one last time before we go our separate ways.

Shit! I forgot that Jake has his read receipts on. To calm my anxiety I turn my phone on do not disturb. I cant see his rejection to my pathetic text. Maybe he broke up with me because of how clingy I am? God, I can’t handle this.

I rush into my bedroom and pack up a few things. I can’t stay here. Not without him. Not in the ruins of us.

I call my parents to let them know what’s happening. They’re as confused as I am but not even the same but distressed. After our phone call I know that I have to go to the only place that will make me happy: California.

Back home surrounded by family and friends is what I truly need. So I gather my bags and lock up my apartment.

I pack my three bags into the trunk of my car. I check the time on my watch. It’s currently 6pm and 4 hours since Jake left me. The drive home is 20 hours long without stops. I have to leave tonight.

Pulling out of my parking space I make a quick stop at a coffee shop drive through. I get 3 iced coffees and some food for the drive.

The car connects automatically to my phone. And plays the last song I had on:

I Will Spend My Whole Life Loving You by Imaginary Future and Kina Grannis.

Oh my love, how you have hurt me. But oh baby, please come home to me. Love’s knife twists away at my heart.

I allow the song to play. As I drive down the highway I realize that I have no idea what my life will be like anymore. But loving Jake was so worth it even if I end up single forever. I slow down as I pass by a sign on the highway. It reads: thank you for staying in Texas.

I gently whisper, “goodbye Texas, I’ll miss you.”

[kaunis-sielu]

Ninth day of Christmas: Bucky x Blossom

For the 9th day of Christmas you had gotten a Bluetooth speaker for Bucky. The one he uses now doesn’t charge very well and sometimes it just dies because it didn’t charge. You know he likes to listen to his phone while he does woodworking so you’re confident you’ve got this gift in the bag.

When you take the gift to his workshop and when you walk in he stops working.

“Hey Darlin’ what time is it?”

“Almost three. I’m going to go see Fawn, Becca and Punkie to make some cookies in like a half hour.”

“You wanna do gift exchange early then?” He asks noting the bag in your hand.

“If that’s okay.”

“Of course it’s okay Darlin’. Let me go get yours real quick.” He offers you a hand as he walks past you and you take it with a small smile. Bucky leads you upstairs and into your bedroom where he goes to his dresser. He pulls an envelope out of the drawer and passes it to you.

“Go ahead and open it.” He says, with a little smile. You open the envelope and find a receipt for a dance class.

You have to read it twice before you realize it’s a couples dance class.

“Bucky! Are you serious?”

“Yea. Sound like fun?”

“Like so much fun!” You tell him pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Now open yours.” You tell him and he opens the bag pulling out the new speaker.

“Oh, Darlin’ this is perfect.” He says, “should we practice for our dance class?” Bucky flirts and your heart skips a beat. You know he can tell that you like the idea because he laughs softly then loops an arm around your waist and pulls you gently to him. He takes your other hand and starts to sway, you can’t help but follow his lead.

“You forgot the music Buck.” You tease him and he hums softly.

“You’re right, but I know you have to go so I didn’t wanna waste time settin’ up some music.” You rest your head and sway with him for another couple of minutes. Then Bucky sighs softly and kisses the side of your forehead.

“Want me to walk ya over?” You have a feeling he doesn’t want to let you go quite yet.

“Bucky is your rut starting?”

“Yea.”

“I won’t go then Alpha. The girls will understand.”

“You felt so excited though.”

“I am but you always come first.” You haven’t moved from his hold and when Bucky tucks his face into the crook of your neck and breathes deeply you know you need to call it. “I’m going to stay.”

“Omega.” He rumbles a low warning.

“Alpha don’t. I won’t pick anything over you so don’t ask me to or we’re going to get into an argument.” You text Fawn just one word, rut, and then put your phone in your pocket. “Now that we have some time why don’t we get your new speaker connected?”

“You’re too good to me Omega.”

“No, we’re perfect for one another.” You tell him and he hums again before kissing you softly.

[painted-doe]

I promised you it wasn't abandoned! After many months, here's Chapter 22. If you've stuck around all this time, thank you so much for reading and for your patience!

WILSON: You know she sent me a real nice email the other day? Signed “big kisses, Becca”. I think it’s getting serious.

BARNES: Sam—

WILSON: She also sent me this old photo of little baby Bucky and little baby Steve in these cute little shorts and suspenders, holding hands—

BARNES: She did not—

WILSON: I mean, you guys were nowhere near as cute as Cass and AJ, but still, god damn, just about gave me a cavity—

BARNES: I know where you sleep.

WILSON: Yeah, and I know what you looked like when you were missing both your front teeth. Is that why they called you Bucky?

BARNES: You are forbidden from speaking to my sister ever again. Or emailing. You two are bad enough on your own, together you’re—

WILSON: Yeah, well, what about you and mine? “Ohhh, golly gee whiz, Sarah, can I wash your car even though everyone knows it’s gonna rain tomorrow? Ohhh, Sarah, can I walk around in an extra-extra-small little t-shirt and chop firewood for you even though it’s like a hundred degrees out?”

BARNES: I don’t sound like that!

WILSON: You are not subtle, dude. Not. Subtle.

BARNES: I’m very subtle!

WILSON: [Laughing loudly]

BARNES: Okay, Doc, what’s with the eyebrow?

RAYNOR: I’m just staggered that the two of you managed to save the world.

[andydrysdalerogers]

Sideline Love ~ Chapter 15 ~ Most Stressful Time of the Year

Pairings - NFL! Chris Evans and OFC Rebecca Rooney

Series Summary: All football player Chris wants is to play football with his best friends in the NFL. But the night before he meets someone who could change his life... if she wasn't the bosses daughter. Can Chris change her mind with a little sideline love?

Word Count: 3K

General Warnings: smut! angst, cheating, parental interference, fluff, football Chris has beard ( 😏 ), injuries during the game, special appearance (don't @ me lol)

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Becca Rooney and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

I am trying out a taglist. Please let me know if you would like to be included.

Series Masterlist ~ Main Masterlist

On the other side of families, it is actually peaceful.  With the animosity between Becca and her father ended, the little family began to prepare for its grand tour.  While plans for Boston had already been made, Becca made sure to plan a day with her family so they could do Christmas right before. Charlie had been thrilled, opening presents early and getting to spend time with her grandparents.

Becca, on the other hand was nervous. As she was packing for Boston, she recalled the first meeting between Chris’s family and herself and she panicked. “Chris what if your mother just remembers me as…”

“As what?” cutting her off. “Angel, I explained what happened to Ma and she was fine.”

“Of course she’ll say she’s fine but she could be harboring dark feelings about it.  I mean Scott was ok but your mom was only concentrating on you at the moment.”

“Sweetheart, please relax.  My mom is a very understanding woman.  I send her pictures of Charlie and you all the time. She asks all the time about you.”

“Really?” Becca chewed the side of her mouth, her tell that she didn’t believe him.

Chris sighed.  “Look, I know that we had that bump in the road and it just so happened while we were in Boston but trust me, my family is going to love you.”  He kissed her forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too. But…”

Chris kissed her slow and deep, effectively shutting her up.  He pulled her close to him by her hips as her hands floated up to his hair, dragging his fingers through it.  He finally pulled away, leaving her breathless.  “Gonna keep talking?”

“Maybe.  Chris, I’m serious.”

“So am I”.  He kissed her again, this time walking her backwards against the wall. He pulled away. “Stop thinking Becca.  Everything will be ok.”  He started to work her neck, nipping and kissing.

“Chris,” she moaned, “we have to stop.  We need to pack.”

“Hmm, I know but you need a moment to relax.”  He started to pull her on her jeans, thumbing open the button and pulled the zipper down. His fingertips grazed the top of her panties.   

“Baby, ah shit,” she moaned as Chris dipped his fingers into her panties.

“Shh, quiet Angel.  Don’t want to wake Charlie do you?”  He stroked her gently, making sure to hit her clit with his palm. Becca’s head leaned back as she closed her eyes and pushed her hips forward. Chris chuckled against her neck.  “Enjoying it love?”

“Fuck yes,” she whispered trying to hold in her noises.

“I can tell. Cum for me Angel.” He continued to work his fingers until he could feel her tightening.  “That’s it.  That’s my girl.  Look at her, cumming on my fingers.” Becca bit onto his shoulder to quiet her moans. He slowed his movements as she came down from her high. He removed his hands and licked them clean.  “Feel better Angel?”

“I don’t think I can stand,” she replied, still holding on tightly to his forearms. Chris smirked and scooped her into his arms.  He carried her over to the bed and laid her down.

“Better?”

“Better.” She yawned but snapped her eyes open.  “What about you?”

“I’m ok Angel.  You can take care of me later.” He kissed her forehead.  “Take a nap. I’ve got some tape review to do for the game. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

**

The day before they were set to fly to Boston, Becca’s phone rang. “Hello?”

Becca, its Robert.

“Hi. What’s up?”

Tom has asked for a meeting with you while you are in Boston.  Just you.

“Me?  What the hell for?”

I don’t know.  I told him under no uncertain terms that you were meeting without counsel present.  But his lawyer called and explained what was happening. I think you should take the meeting.

“Robert, what is going on?”

I can’t say yet.  Just, think about it.  I promise, it would be worth it.

Becca said goodbye and hung up, sitting on the bench by the window.  Charlie was spending the day with Sebastian and Lizzy so Becca got lost in thought. She jolted up when her phone buzzed.

Tom: I promise it’s a good thing

Becca: You said that last time

Tom: I know.

Tom: But I need to say what I need to say to you in person

Becca: I don’t trust you

Tom: Bring Evans.

Becca: What?

Tom: Bring Evans.

Becca starred at her phone until Chris’s voice pulled her, starling her.  “Angel?”

“What time is it?”

“Almost six.  Angel, what’s wrong?”

“Tom wants to meet with us in Boston. Both of us.”

“Oh.”  Chris scratched his chin. “Okay.”

“Just like that.  Okay?”

“Well Angel, he must have something important to say.  We are Charlie’s parents so we have to decide what’s best for her.  If Tom wants to talk we should acknowledge that.”

Becca smiled softly. “We?”

Chris’s smiled faltered.  “I mean you are her…” but Becca stopped him.

“I love that it’s ‘we.’ You’re right.  We are her parents.  So the day after we fly in?”

“Its Christmas Eve Angel.  You sure?”

“If its going to ruin Christmas I would rather it be done sooner rather than later.”  She picked up her phone.

Becca: we fly in the 23rd .  We’ll meet you on the 24th.

Tom: Chris is from Boston right?

Becca: Yeah

Tom: Holy Grounds. 10AM

***

Charlie bounced in her seat for the short flight from Pittsburgh to Boston, her excitement being exaspertated by Chris’s own hyper energy.  The Steelers were going into a small Christmas break with the lead in the standing and Chris was riding the high. He had Charlie on his lap for most of the flight, describing things out the window until the pilot advised they were going to land.  “I can’t wait to show you around Angel.”

“I’ve been to Boston before love.”

“Yeah but not Sudbury.”

Coming off the plane with a 5 year old, a dog and three carry-ons, Becca and Chris tried to navigate to find the rental car desk when they heard.  “Yo Evans! You suck!”

Chris turned around to see who was yelling and a big smile graced his face. “Not as much as you do Evans!” Scott bounced forward and pulled his brother into a big hug.

“Its so good to see you and not in a hospital bed,” Scott said.  He let go to see Becca holding Charlie’s hand.  “Becca, its nice to see you as well.”  He pulled her into a gentle hug.  He let go and turned to Charlie, dropping to a knee.  “You must be Charlie.”

“Hi,” she said shyly before hiding behind Chris’s leg.

“Munchkin, this is my brother, Scott.  He’s…uh…”

“He’s your uncle, Charlie.  Uncle Scott,” Becca stepped in.

Charlie looked at Scott and then stepped towards him.  “You look like daddy.”

Scott chuckled.  “And you look like your mommy.  Can I give you a hug?”  Charlie stretched out her arms and Scott picked her up and hugged her before setting her on his hip.  “Ok Pitt gang, to the car!” Scott guided them to where he had parked and drove them home.  “Ma is excited to see you bro.  Its been Chris this and Chris that.  Geez, leave some love for the rest of us.”

“Don’t be jealous.”  They all laughed. 

“So Becca, how’s work.”

“Its ok.  Still not sure where I’ll end up after the season ends but at this rate I won’t know until February.”

“You think the Steelers have a chance?” Scott used the chance to rile Chris up but Becca answered.

“As long as I don’t distract the quarterback too much we should have a decent chance,” she deadpanned.

Scott roared with laughter as Chris threw a smirk her way. “I’m ok with you trying as much as you want Angel.”

“Oh gross,” Scott said, fake throwing up.

“Uncle Scott, are you sick?” Genuine concern crossed the little girls face.

“Nice one,” Chris said.

“Uh no sweetie.  Just playing around.” Scott looked in the mirror at his newest niece.

The arrived to a big house fully decorated for Christmas. “Momma look! They have a Santa on the lawn!”

“They do monkey.  Let’s get you out.”

Chris came and got Charlie out of the car and then helped Becca out.  He walked them over and the door opened revealing a nice looking woman in an apron.  “Chris!”

“Hey ma!” He embraced his mother hard.

“And who is this?” She looked at Charlie who leaned into Chris.

“This is Charlotte. Or Charlie. Charlie, this is my mom.”

Charlie waved but kept her body close to Chris.  “Hi Charlie.  I’m grandma Lisa.”

Charlie perked her head up.  “Like my Nana?”

“Yep.  I’m Chris’s mommy.”

Charlie studied her for a moment before reaching out for the woman.  Lisa held the little girl tightly before setting her down.  Lisa turned back to the couple.  Becca stood next to Chris, although shielding herself a bit with his arm.  “Becca, right?”

“Yes, ma’am.  Its nice to see you again,” Becca says, extending her hand.

Lisa takes her hand and pulls her into a hug.  “Thank you for making my boy happy,” she whispers. She pulled back.  “Let’s get inside and warm up.”  She took Charlie’s hand and led her into the house.

“That’s it?” Becca squeeked.

“Were you expecting her to yell?” Chris look amused at Becca’s facial expressions.

“Well… yeah.”

Chris kissed the top of her head.  “I told you Angel.  My ma is very happy for us.  Now c’mon, its time to meet my sisters.”  He pulled her hand and tugged her into the house.

“UNCLE CHRIS!” Three voices yelled as they tackled the quarterback.  Becca took a step back, smiling at the scene of two boy and a girl attacking Chris.

“Ok, alright, relax,” as Dodger added to the frey. He collected the children in a hug and then sat with them on the floor.  “Guys this is Becca.  Becca, this is Miles, Ethan and Stella.  They are Carly’s kids.”  Lisa stood back with Charlie.  “That over there is Charlie.”

Stella immediately ran over to Charlie.  “Do you like Barbie?”  Charlie nodded and Stella took her hand.  “Come to my room and we can play.”  They ran off together as Chris stood up.  He noticed his sisters in the door way. 

He took Becca’s hand.  “Becca, these are my sisters, Carly and Shanna.”

“Its nice to meet you.” Becca said as the girls eyed her up and down.

“So you’re the one that almost cost my brother his career,” Shanna said.

Becca began to panic. “I, uh…”

“Shanna that’s enough,” Lisa said sternly from behind them. “This is neither the time or the place.” Shanna looked away as Becca kept her head down. “Chris, why don’t you show Becca your room.  I set up the cot in Stella’s room for Charlie.”

“Sure Ma. Angel?”

Becca looked up at him and he could see the sparkle of tears in her eyes.  He threw a murderous look at his sisters before wrapping his arm around his girl and walking her away.  As they made it upstairs, Becca was able to keep the tears at bay. She took in Chris’s room. “Surfer?” she asked, looking at the poster.

“I haven’t had a chance to update it,” he grumbled as Becca laughed gently.

“So this is pre college Chris, huh?”

“This is it. I’m sure Ma has all the photo albums ready for you to look at and embarrass me with.”

“I’m sure.”  Becca walked around the room.  “I love it.”

“I love you,” he said, pulling her onto his lap.  “You ok?”

She shrugged.  “I guess your sisters hate me.”

“Ignore them.  They don’t know the whole story.  Ma does and Scott doesn’t care.” He caressed her cheek. “I love you Angel.”

“Love you handsome.”  She kissed him softly.  “We should head down and be social, I guess.”

“If you are ok.”  He took her hand. They went back downstairs as Lisa was serving hot chocolate to the kids.  “Oh, Becca, I forgot to ask if Charlie is allergic to anything.”

“Bananas. Not anything severe,” she assured Lisa. “You have a beautiful home.”

“Thank you.  Please sit, let me get to know you.  I know I saw you at the hospital but I was…”

“Distracted.  I know.  I was too.  But ask me anything. Open book,” she replied.

Scott bounced in just as everyone is sitting.  “Hey Bex, so can you really get me field passes to see Chris?”

Becca looked at him curiously.  “Bex?”

“Oh, well, Rebecca, Becca, Bex.  Is that cool?”

“Just for you Scottie.” She winked at him and they laughed.  “Sure, I can get you passes.”

“Awesome.  Me and Steve really want to get up close and personal, ya know.”

“Steve?”

“Oh my boyfriend. You’ll meet him tomorrow.  Do you guys have plans?”

Chris cleared his throat.  “We have a meeting tomorrow in the morning but afterwards we should be free before the Christmas stuff starts.”  He could feel Becca tense in his hand.

“Meeting? I thought you weren’t working Chris,” Carly asked looking at Becca.

“I’m not.  We just have to meet with Charlie’s father,” he replied without thinking. “Shit.”

“Charlie’s father?  You’re dragging my brother into your issues?” Carly asked.

“Carly, stop,” Lisa said.

“No! I want to know what is going on.  I read all about her court case and she’s dragging Chris down, making him get benched and I want to know the truth,” Shanna said.

“Kids, why don’t we go into the playroom,” Scott said. “I’ll watch them.” He gave Becca a sympathic look.  Becca waited until her daughter and Chris’s nephews and niece were out of the room before rounding back to his sisters.

“I didn’t drag Chris into anything.  I broke up with him to try and protect him from all of this.  But instead he stood next to me and held me up at my lowest point.  I love your brother with everything I have. My father didn’t want me to date any players and I tried to stay away from him so he wouldn’t ruin his career.”

“Angel…”

“No Chris, they want the truth well here it is.  I had a relationship with Tom Brady for a couple of weeks six years ago. He cheated on his wife with me.  And I ended up pregnant with my daughter.  I raised my daughter all by myself after he denied being her father.  Now he wants back in and Charlie has to spend Christmas Day with him. He’s trying to take her away from me and now I have to meet with him tomorrow.  He asked that Chris be there as well.  I tried.  I tried so hard to protect Chris that it cost me a month without my family.  I quit my job to follow Chris wherever he goes because he deserves this.  So hate me, curse me, whatever.  I would do anything for this man.”  Becca turned and ran up the stairs.

Chris looked at his sisters.  “Really?”

They looked dumbfounded.  “Chris, we didn’t realize…”

“You guys are seriously the worst. She’s been through hell and back.  She’s worried about losing her daughter. She’s been so nervous to meet you guys. Thanks for this.”  He followed her out. He got up to his room but didn’t see Becca.  He walked around until he heard her quiet cries from the closet.  “Angel?” He opened the door to see her in a ball. “Oh Angel.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell,” she wailed.

“I know baby, I know.  Its ok, they deserved that.”  He sat next to her. “You wanna stay at a hotel?  We can.”

Becca shook her head. “No, I know you want to be with your family.  I think I’ll just stay out of the way.”

“Angel, you can’t do that.”

“Yes I can.  I’ll just stay in here.”

Chris sighed.  “Angel, please, you can’t stay in the closet. At least let me put you in the bed.”

She nodded and he picked her up. He laid with her until she fell asleep before heading downstairs to get her a drink and some food.  His mother was in the kitchen.  “Is she ok?”

“She’s refusing to come down.” Chris leaned on the counter with his arms crossed.  “What is their problem?”

“I think they are just being protective of you, Chris. I’ll talk to them.” Lisa wiped down a counter. “I didn’t know Brady wanted to meet with her while she was here. I’m sorry she is going through this. All I wanted was to meet her and her daughter. I really just wanted to get to know her.”

“I know Ma. I wanted you to get to know the woman I love too.  Maybe we can do something just the three of us.” He gave his mother a hug before he grabbed the food and water. “I just want to protect her.”  He walked out just as his sisters were coming in.  He ignored them and walked around just as he heard his mother round on them.  “I am so disappointed in you…”

The following morning, Lisa reassured Becca that Charlie was in good hands before Chris drove them to Higher Ground.  They snagged a table in the back and ordered a couple of coffees.  Becca hadn’t said a word, her knees bouncing.  “Angel, please relax.” She gave him a small smile.  Chris was worried.  Becca was always talkative but the last 24 hours had taken its toll.  He looked up and saw Brady approaching their table.  “Brady.”

“Morning Chris, Becca.”  He sat in front of them. “How are you?”

“We’re fine,” Chris answered, with Becca still looking away. “Rough landing here in Boston but we’re ok.”

“Sorry to hear that.” Tom swallowed. “I, uh, wanted to talk about Charlie.”

Becca jerked her head up to look at Tom.  “What now?  Not enough time.  Need more from me, from us.” 

“Becca, I…”

“No, you can’t have more. I can’t… I can’t bare it anymore.” A single tear slipped.

Tom looked at Chris.  “You hadn’t told her?”

Becca looked at Chris as he said, “you asked me not too.”

“Tell me what?”

  “I want to change the custody arrangements. I’ve submitted a petition to the court.”

Taglist

@patzammit @texmexdarling @jennmurawski13-writes

[carinalastimosa]

Will the Bachelor Franchise Give Asians Their Flowers?

I was a latecomer to The Bachelor franchise. It was the first year of COVID,  we’d gotten past the lockdown stage but it meant that new scripted content had dried up. So naturally, my husband and I turned to the backlog of Bachelor episodes on streaming services to keep the drama alive and well. That’s how it works, right? Either way, we were hooked and took enjoyment in watching every bloated episode of “starting to fall in love”-isms. 

I think part of our viewing enjoyment was being detached from the real time drama that unfolds between each week of an episode’s release. We could speculate in our own little bubble how serious Greg was about Katie or if Becca regretted not choosing Blake. Reality dating shows have long struggled with addressing social media. Should they focus on what was presented during the show or touch on the narrative created outside of the show on social media? It’s a tricky balancing act. Just ask Vanessa Lachey after the season 4 reunion of Love is Blind. The Bachelor franchise, which includes The Bachelorette; Bachelor in Paradise; The Golden Bachelor; and soon to be The Golden Bachelorette iteration to air this fall, is no exception to this. In fact, The Bachelor franchise first piqued my interest when Season 13 Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay published her article on being the first black person to lead the franchise and the challenges and failed expectations that came with that. This coincided with the surfacing of photos of Season 25 Bachelor contestant Rachel Kirkconnell attending an Antebellum-themed party. At that time, The Bachelor was airing Season 25 with Matt James, their first black man to lead the franchise. I followed these headlines loosely as it made the pop culture news rounds but I still brushed off the show, thinking that it was something not worth investing in, as ultimately, this was a dating show by white people, made for white people. 

Cut to March 2024, and I have now become well versed in the Bachelor universe, having now watched 8 Bachelor seasons and 10 Bachelorette seasons. I have my favorite contestants (Gabby Windey), favorite seasons (Tayshia Adams’s half of The Bachelorette), and honestly look forward to whenever Jesse Palmer pops up to do some hosting. I had found my trashy T.V. , my guilty pleasure, the thing I can turn on to turn off my brain. It was supposed to just be something I could watch and that’s it. But to be a part of Bachelor Nation is more than that. 

Bachelor Nation is known to dig. No matter how beloved or trivial a contestant, they will find something that could move the dial in a devastating way. Some of it hilarious, like Season 28 Bachelor contestant, Daisy Kent, being a part of a music video, featuring the poetic lyrics of “I think I’m better and I don’t give a f*ck now / So you can lick on my sack suck my nuts now / That ain’t no fossil, oh bitch this a bust down / I feel alright ain’t dark like the sundown”. While some are worth discussing like Season 19 Bachelorette contestant Erich Schwer dressing up as Jimi Hendrix in blackface for a Halloween party; which the show ultimately ignored during their finale because Schwer ended up being Gabby Windey’s choice and the show needed their happy ending since co-Bachelorette lead Rachel Recchia’s choice ended up cheating before they could even air the finale. While not ultimately a part of the show, I do view it as supplemental material that either enhances or informs my viewing. Bachelor Nation has done my research for me so that I don’t have to. But there’s only so much I can consume. I’m not one to engage in the comments, whether it’s reading them or writing them. Whatever Bachelor Nation has found, I get nice little summaries of it from my favorite recaps such as The Ringer’s podcast Bachelor Party and YouTube channel Bachelor Fantake. 

The latest season to air this year, Season 28 of The Bachelor starring Joey Graziadei seemed to reignite Bachelor Nation’s love for their leads. Off the heels of the very successful debut of The Golden Bachelor, despite the fallout of Gerry Turner post the show’s airing, Bachelor producers capitalized on the moment and it seemed that everyone fell in love with Graziadei. Heck, I did too! I mean the emotional intelligence and the way he looks at you! With all eyes on the bachelor, it meant that close attention was also paid to the Bachelor contestants. Nothing too disparaging was found, with the exception of the already mentioned Kent music video, but that’s more unfortunately hilarious than damning. Instead, the discourse came well into the season, when fan favorite, Maria Georgas asked Graziadei for a moment to speak to him privately just as the final 3 rose ceremony was about to begin, and when Goergas came back to join the rest of the women, fellow contestant Rachel Nance asked, “What was that about?”. Out of context, this seems like a simple enough question, and even watching the moment play out, there was nothing to clock. In fact, what I found to be slightly irritating was Georgas’s response to Nance, “I’ll tell you one day.” But Bachelor Nation perceived this differently. Immediately attacking Nance, not necessarily for what she did (ask a question), but for who she was (half Black/half Filipino). I don’t gotta say it but this is where I mention that Goergas is a white woman. Call me biased but Nance was my favorite contestant on Season 28 of The Bachelor.  Sure, partly because she’s Filipino, but she also seemed like a really cool, chill, no fuss kind of gal. As down to earth as a person can be considering they decided to be on a reality T.V. show. The kind of woman I want to be. When she made it all the way to hometowns, I was fist pumping over her teaching Graziadei how to greet her parents with mano po and her saying she likes the fattier parts of the lechon. This was exposure to a culture for a viewership that is predominately white. I was thrilled! So it saddened me when the Women Tell All aired with a segment where host Jesse Palmer discusses the racist comments fired at Nance over social media. Hearing her repeat what had been slurred at her reinforced to me that Bachelor Nation still isn’t accepting of a black lead and is not ready for an Asian lead. This show that I love to indulge in, will continue to be ruled by whiteness.

So to my surprise, and most likely disappointment of Bachelor Nation, Jesse Palmer announced the next lead of The Bachelorette, Vietnamese-American Season 28 Bachelor contestant Jenn Tran as the franchise’s first ever Asian-American lead. It’s been made public that Tran was not the first pick (Maria Georgas), nor was she even the second (Daisy Kent). This is also reinforced by the casting of Tran’s men, predominantly virtually white men with just one Asian man. While Tran does not have to date a fellow Asian, it shows how little Bachelor producers have thought this through. Pre-casting under the assumption that surely one of the 2 fan favorites from the top 3 will say, “yes” but then having to pivot to a contestant who placed fifth and focusing on the historic casting of it all to try and gain brownie points worries me.

I must admit, I was also skeptical of Tran’s casting and I felt guilty over that. Shouldn’t I have been thrilled that there was meaningful representation for a show that caters to whiteness? But I was placing unrealistic expectations on Tran that I wouldn’t have any other lead. Watching her Bachelorette announcement segment started out on a high that quickly deflated as Tran failed to meet what my expectations were for Asian representation. In a quick effort to make Jenn relatable, producers went with the “Fun Jenn” angle where she’s just a gal who wants to have a good time and will ask for shots to get the party started. To me, it came off as someone not ready to take on the responsibility of being the first Asian-American to lead this franchise. It’s always tough to be the first in something where barriers need to be broken. You need to be so many things for a marginalized group of people that contains a multitude of perspectives and values. By already dismissing Tran as not my type of Asian, I missed sight on what she was trying to achieve and move forward for the Asian American community. I projected my own baggage of having to prove myself in white spaces. She doesn’t have to be all the things, she just has to be herself, which looking back at that announcement segment, she already was doing. That in of itself is progress. We can also let loose, have a good time, and also still bear the weight and responsibility of what it means to be an Asian-American, a child of immigrant parents, a woman of color, and more all at the same time.

Tran has mentioned in interviews, “I just never saw herself as a main character.” A sentiment that I connect to deeply. Growing up in the 90’s, there wasn’t much Asian representation in the television or movies I watched. And now, as an adult, trying to carve my spot in acting, I’m constantly trying to prove to casting that I’m worth it. That I can be that person you cast as your lead because my voice is worth hearing.

Tran will now do the same as The Bachelorette premieres tonight. Like the many Bachelorette leads before her, her journey of love begins as she meets the men and hands out roses until the final rose that leads to engagement. She’s going to do it her way and America will watch every week, captivated by the choices she’ll make.

Bring on the Jenn-ergy. 🌹

[booksandwords]

Stumble by Becca Seymour

Series: Outback Boys, #1 Read time: 1 Day Rating: 4/5

The quote: “I don’t know if I’m flattered or insulted that you think I’m, what, good-looking enough to hire out my services? That I’ve caught your attention enough to think someone like Mark would pay for a piece… well, damn, I think I quite like the idea.” — Trey (upon it being implied that he is an escort)

Warnings: Homophobia

Stumble provides a pleasant escape from the realities of the world for a couple of hours. For some people, Trey will be highly relatable. When we meet him he is having some serious aerophobia. it is this anxiety that becomes the thing that pulls him and Mark together with Mark having a natural caring instinct, especially when it comes to Trey. They have known each other for a few months and Mark has always been there for Trey. Neither of them lies to themselves about their attraction to the other but neither vocalises the attraction.

The language used in Stumble is important. This is a book that is set between Queensland (Brisbane and the Sunshine Coast) and Salt Lake City using two Australian protagonists. The language used couldn't be American or British English, it had to use Australian preferably Queensland language (both spelling and slang). The language used is right but I would think still readable to an English speaker. Fark is said fairly early on. The requisite mate, trady. Fark is I think an even better choice, it is dialectic for Queensland.

I feel the financial positions of the protagonists needs to be addressed. It needs to be acknowledged that Trey and Mark come from very different situations. Trey is something like the everyman, a web developer working from home. He is used to living somewhat frugally but spends money on the things that mean the most to him. In contrast, Mark runs a multimillion-dollar construction company. He does work hard for his money and always has, he doesn't carry that air of entitlement but the money he and his family has is key to the story, it is to a degree the driver of the plot's drama.

We don't have the pleasure of meeting both protagonists for Bounce, the second book in the Outback boys series. However we do get to meet one though, Aiden, described as standoffish in the blurb for his book. Yeah, I can see that but when he opens up he has a contagious personality, he's a transplant from Alice Springs with a serious past I would guess.

Yeah sorry, this is a bit of a weird review that ignores most of the key points of the plot. Including meeting the family homophobe and the fantastic mother in play. But I did enjoy it. Does it have some perhaps problematic elements? yep. But it still works.

[karolinanovotneys]

on a scale of one to “set your workplace on fire”, how bad is your day going?

[dreamwritesimagines]

The Eye of the Hurricane [15] - Morning After

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, it's a calm one❤️ and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️

Summary: The first day of marriage can be relaxing.

Word Count: 2800

Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Violence, stabbing, death, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, dysfunctional relationship. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.

Series Masterlist

When you woke up next morning, it took you a while to understand where you were because this was not your bedroom or the honeymoon suite you had been staying at for a month but—

Oh.

Barnes weekend residence.

You rubbed at your eyes and turned around in the huge bed to see Bucky sleeping soundly right beside you, still in his clothes from last night. Your heart skipped a beat and you looked down at yourself to see your white afterparty dress, then yawned and pushed yourself off the bed.

Your afterparty dress was pretty, but it was way too uncomfortable to sleep in.

You grabbed your clothes from the bag Becca had prepared for you, then made your way to the bathroom to change into them and walked back into the bedroom again. When you pulled open the curtains to let the sunlight in, the sight of the huge green yard caught your attention and you smiled slightly, leaning sideways to the windowpane.

It was a good thing you were going to get this house in divorce.

“Morning,” the raspy voice reached your ears and you turned around, your heart skipping a beat as your gaze fell on Bucky. He ran a hand over his messy hair as he sat up in the bed and you stared at him for a moment, noticing for the millionth time just how handsome he looked before you frowned, throwing your shoulders back.

“Why are we in the same bed?”

“We’re not,” he said, motioning at you. “You’re standing right there.”

“No I mean last night—”

“I hardly remember anything about last night,” he murmured, rubbing his eyes before his head snapped up. “Wait.”

“What?”

“Did we…?”

You scoffed a laugh. “You wish.”

He managed to shoot you a mischievous grin despite being sleepy, then leaned his back on the bedframe to look at you better.

“Anyway isn’t it a good start?” he asked. “I mean considering we have one bedroom in the penthouse.”

“There are two guest rooms.”

He tilted his head.

“Y/N, I need an office in the apartment and so will you,” he said. “You do realize that?”

Your frown deepened as you tried to wrap your head around the idea. You hadn’t thought about the fact that he would need an office but it made sense, most of the deals were done at bosses’ homes and now that you were going to become an active player in the business, you would need one as well.

Oh, God damn it.

“Are you serious?”

“You chose the apartment,” he reminded you. “Besides I think it’s safer for us to sleep in the same place in case of an attack, especially with everything that’s been going on in town lately.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose and heaved an irritated sigh.

“Great,” you muttered. “I want one of those huge beds then.”

“Done.”

“And if you dare assume—”

“I’m not assuming anything,” he said and he got off the bed, then started unbuttoning his shirt, making your eyes widen.

“Uh, what are you doing?”

“I’m gonna take a shower,” he said. “You didn’t eat yet, did you?”

“Um…” you trailed off, trying to focus. “No?”

“Great, I’m starving,” he said, checking his wristwatch before tossing his shirt aside. “Our chef is a genius, you’ll see.”

…Jesus, this was just simply annoying.

You tried not to stare at his muscular torso but the tattoos on his strong chest made it impossible to look elsewhere. Your eyes darted over the small numbers around the gun before slipping down to his abs, but then snapped up to his face when he cleared his throat, his cocky smile playing on his lips.

“Don’t fucking say it,” you said and he held up his hands.

“You know, if you wanted to consummate our marriage—”

“It’s not the Regency times and that will never happen.”

“Just saying, the offer is on the table whenever you want.”

“I wouldn’t sleep with you if you were the last man on earth,” you pointed out, trying to ignore the fire burning your cheeks. “I’ll—I’ll go and check if the breakfast is ready, don’t be late.”

You walked away from him before he could say anything else, but you could still hear his laughter as you left the room. You shook your head as you made your way to the top of the stairs, then gritted your teeth.

“Keep your head in the game,” you muttered to yourself and went downstairs, your heart still beating fast.

                                                 *

This right here was the reason why you liked the Barnes weekend home this much even when you were growing up. It was pretty far away from the city and it was such a huge estate that it made you feel as if you had escaped from all the chaos and tension that came with the city. You and Bucky had decided to go back to the city around the evening so that no one would have any doubts about you not “enjoying” each other’s presence the morning after your wedding since you weren’t going on a honeymoon.

Bucky had given everyone the business excuse, and considering the state the city was in right now with HYDRA you were sure everyone agreed, but it was still a good idea to play it safe.

You thanked the maid who brought you your mimosa before she walked back to the house, then took a sip and leaned back on the sunbed, heaving a sigh. It was such a beautiful day so you decided to enjoy the sunlight with a book you had found in the library while Bucky was swimming in the pool. You stole a look at the pool before dragging your gaze to the green yard, then put your glass back on the small table beside you but before you could go back to your book, your phone vibrated on the table, making you frown.

“Who the…” you trailed off, then raised your brows when you saw the text.

From: Ethan

Hey, just wanted to say congratulations for the wedding.

You pursed your lips, taking a deep breath and your finger hovered over the button before you typed in your reply.

Thank you.

You sent it and saw that he was typing for a couple of seconds before you received another text.

Can we meet when you’re available? I’d like to apologize in person.

You blinked a couple of times, then sat up straighter and sent your text.

Nothing to apologize for, but I’d love to meet sometime this week?

You jolted with a gasp when Bucky’s phone started vibrating and shook your head, then put your phone down to grab his.

“Bucky!” you called out, holding up his phone and he turned in the pool to look at you, then swam towards the edge of the pool to pull himself out. A warmth spread through your stomach as he came closer to you, sunlight falling on his skin as he ran a hand through his wet hair, then grabbed a towel so that he could wipe his face. You swallowed thickly, averting your gaze from his body and put the phone on the table again, pretending to be engrossed in your book.

“Hey man,” Bucky answered the phone and listened to the other line, then let out a chuckle. “Hold on I’m putting you on speaker.”

You looked up from the book at him as he flung himself on the sunbed to your left.

“Hey Y/N!” Sam’s voice reached you and you smiled.

“Hi Sam.”

“Not interrupting anything I hope?”

“Nope,” you said. “What’s up?”

“How badly did you scare Ian?”

You pulled your brows together while Bucky grinned. “What?”

“He wanted a meeting with me and Steve as soon as possible,” he said. “Today, actually. Before you got back to the city.”

“Unbelievable…” Bucky muttered, curling an arm behind his head and you bit back a smile.

“Did you say yes?”

“Are you kidding? I’m still hungover,” he said with a small laugh. “No, meetings can wait until Monday.”

“Even better,” Bucky commented. “Let him panic.”

“Did he sound panicked?”

“Oh he did,” Sam said. “And very obvious too because if it were about business, your father would be the one to call me. Arthur is the one I make deals and have meetings with, not Ian.”

You nibbled on your lip, that familiar jealousy sinking your stomach.

“Well, he’s usually in the room though,” you muttered. “Does my dad know?”

“About the meeting? I doubt it,” Sam said. “Anyways, I just wanted to let you two know. Your cousin is freaking out, Y/N.”

“Serves him right,” you said with a grin. “Thanks Sam.”

“Anytime. Buck, I’ll see you when you get back?”

“Absolutely,” he said. “Thanks again. Tell Steve I said hi?"

“Will do,” he said and hung up, and you took your glass into your hand while the maid brought Bucky a drink. Bucky thanked her, then turned to you.

“Him being scared is going to be hilarious to watch.”

You huffed out a small laugh, then sipped your drink.

“He will try to stand in my way though,” you said and Bucky shrugged his shoulders.

“He will,” he said, nodding his head. “And we will run him over.”

That managed to put a smile on your face and you nibbled on your lip, looking down at your drink.

“Having second thoughts?” Bucky asked and you frowned, then shook your head.

“No,” you said. “No, never. I want this, I just—I also know it will make my dad furious when he finds out what I’m trying to do.”

“He can be furious all he wants,” Bucky said. “You’re the right choice here. He’ll see.”

You bit inside your cheek, trying to get rid of the familiar nervousness pulsing through you. You weren’t so used to going directly against your father ever since you were a child, especially on important things, and the family business was as important as it got.

You wished he could just name you the heir. That he could just let you prove yourself instead of pretending he couldn’t see that Ian was not fit to be the next boss, but since he refused to do it, you refused to feel bad about what he forced you to do.

He had promised you the position after all, so many years ago.

You snapped out of your thoughts and turned your head when Bucky’s vibranium hand touched yours.

“Hm?”

“Swim with me,” he said, shooting you an irresistible smirk that made your heart skip a beat, but you pulled yourself together and scoffed.

“Absolutely not.”

“Come on, it’d be fun.”

“I’m sure you’re very familiar with the idea of having fun by yourself,” you snarked, grabbing your book again to turn the page. “Don’t let me stop you.”

Bucky shot you a grin.

“Fine, stay here and pretend you’re not staring then.”

“I don’t even notice your presence,” you shot back as he got up from the sunbed, then walked to jump into the pool again. You stole a look at him, then clicked your tongue.

“Much,” you added quietly to yourself. “I don’t notice your presence much.”

                                                    *

By the time you and Bucky got to the city, it was already evening. The road hadn’t taken you long, but spending the whole day by the pool and knowing that tomorrow you had to plan just how exactly you would first get involved in the business at least officially made you feel quite tired.

And it was going to be the first night you would stay in your and Bucky’s new apartment.

In the same bed.

Lovely.

Having already ordered the biggest bed you could find, you were sure that this time tomorrow, you would be able to go to sleep and not even notice you were not alone in the bed but tonight was going to be rather challenging. You knew you had slept in the same bed last night, but both of you had been drunk so—

Getting drunk tonight as well sounded like a good idea actually.

When you reached the top floor and saw Bucky’s men patrolling the hallway, you repressed a yawn and followed Bucky to the door of the apartment. He unlocked it, then turned to you with a grin.

“What—” you started but was cut off when he hoisted you up bridal style, making you let out a surprised squeal. “Bucky!”

“It’s tradition,” Bucky said, still grinning. “We’re a traditional couple.”

“No we’re not, put me down!” you said, trying your hardest to stop the giggle threatening to spill from your lips as you held onto his shirt, painfully aware of Bucky’s men stealing glances at you two. Bucky opened the door and stepped inside with you in his arms, then kicked the door close with his foot.

“You’re unbelievable!” you said, unable to stop yourself from smiling as he put you down, and he had the audacity to give you an innocent look.

“What?” he said. “Sweetheart, we’re married now. I’m supposed to carry you over the threshold.”

You lowered your head just so that you could hide your smile and smoothed over your dress, then turned your head to see the multiple gift boxes and flowers in the living room.

“Ah,” you said. “I almost forgot about the wedding gifts.”

“Did we put weapons on the gift list?”

“No,” you said, making your way to the living room. “But we got them, probably. I call dibs on any knives we get by the way.”

“I told Steve I wanted brass knuckles,” Bucky said. “I think he got us a matching pair.”

“Oh I love brass knuckles.”

“I saw this really cool—” Bucky started but stopped talking when a small meow reached your ears. You pulled your brows together and opened your mouth to ask whether he heard it too, but a white ball of fur wheezed through the living room.

“What the…” you trailed off when a beautiful white cat with a pink ribbon on her leash reached you, and sat down to look up at you with wide blue eyes.

“Mrow?”

“Are you seeing this as well?” you asked Bucky and he nodded.

“Why do we have a cat?”

“She’s so cute—did she come with the apartment?” you asked. “No, right? She wasn’t here when we first saw here.”

“No I don’t think…” Bucky said and walked to the door to open it. “Aaron?”

“Mr. Barnes.”

“Who brought the cat?”

“Miss Becca, sir,” the man replied and you bent down to scratch at the cat’s head, making her close her eyes for a moment, purring.

“Hi there,” you whispered, smiling wide. “Aren’t you the cutest thing in the world?”

“Jesus…” Bucky muttered as he closed the door, then took out his phone and touched the screen before putting it on speaker. “I mean it's Becca, of course she-"

“Hey there!” Becca’s cheerful voice filled the room and you looked up, still scratching the cat’s head.

“Becca, why is there a cat in our apartment?” Bucky asked, making her gasp.

“That’s your baby!”

You bit back a smile, fixing the ribbon on the cat’s leash while Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Right," he said. "And why do we have a baby on the first day of our marriage?”

“Because as you said, you’re married now which means you guys can be all responsible and stuff,” she answered. “Her name is Alpine by the way. She’s my wedding gift to you, isn’t she sweet?”

You picked Alpine up, holding her in your arms. “You know, a lot of people just sent flowers as a gift.”

“A lot of people are boring,” Becca replied. “Leila’s friend found her on the street, the poor thing! I’d keep her but Leila is allergic, so there you go. Now you two have a daughter.”

“I’ve always wanted a daughter,” you nodded solemnly and Bucky blinked a couple of times as if he couldn’t believe you were playing along.

“Y/N…”

“I gotta go now, enjoy the first night of parenthood!” Becca said and hung up, making Bucky gawk at the phone before putting it back into his pocket.

“Of course she got us a cat,” he muttered. “Of course.”

Alpine purred in your arms, making you smile down at her before looking up at Bucky.

“We should probably buy stuff for her,” you said, looking around the apartment. “A bed, some food, toys…”

Bucky’s brows rose. “Hold on, we’re keeping her?”

“Of course we are, you heard Becca. She’s our daughter, apparently,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders as you walked to the door. “Her surname will be dashed as well, by the way. Mine and yours together.”

“Y/N—”

“Come on!” you called out as you stepped out of the apartment with Alpine still purring happily and Bucky heaved a sigh, then followed you to the elevator.

Chapter 16

[coffeecatsandcandles]

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭-𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐕𝐈- 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

➵ 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | widow!dad!teacher!bucky x teacher!reader (ft. Rebecca Barnes and other friends)

➵ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 2.5k

➵ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | Minor angst, lots of fluff!

დ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | დ 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | დ 𝐤𝐨-𝐟𝐢

One Year Later

James stared blankly at the drawing Rebecca had given him to give to you. This was unlike anything he’d ever seen before. She’d been upfront about most of her artwork and gifts, giving them directly to you herself. But this was different. Rebecca begged her father to give it to you, as she was too shy to give it to you herself.

The drawing itself wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, and it was in fact rather colorful. You and Rebecca were drawn with a purple crayon, holding hands in a bright green field of pink and blue flowers and surrounded by red butterflies.

But in Rebecca’s handwriting, in big pink letters, was “Can I please, please, please call you my mommy? Or mom, whatever you are okay with. If you don’t want me to, it’s ok. I still love you.”

James knew this wasn’t new. Becca loved you, and you were basically her mom. He was just harshly reminded of the last time Becca had tried to call you that. It was tough to grasp, and a part of him still had trouble letting go of his late wife, but he knew it would be good for his daughter.

He found you at your desk, in the home office you two shared now that you’d completely moved in. You were hard at work creating lecture slides for your students. James couldn’t help but think about how adorable you looked as you were so extremely focused that you didn’t hear him come in. Turning to him, you almost jumped at how unexpected his presence was. “Hi,” you said, smiling once your initial fright melted away.

“I have something for you. It’s from Bec,” James said, watching your head perk up. You were just the most precious thing in his eyes.

He handed you the drawing, and you smiled at it before reading the words. He watched your expression change as you read- first in awe of the drawing, then melting away to focus on the words, then blank, as if in shock.

You looked up at him finally, your eyes surprised at both the note from Rebecca and the fact that James just stood there, calm. “Really?”

James nodded once, “She’s a little shy right now.”

“Are you okay with this?”

“Are you okay with it?” James asked back.

“James, it doesn’t matter what I think. If that’s not something you want, then-“

He cut you off with a kiss to calm you down. “It does matter. I’m tired of putting Rebecca’s happiness on the backburner. If you’re okay with it, then I’m okay with it.” He kissed you again, “She needs a mom.”

You smiled, nose pressed against his, “Where is she?”

“Her room.”

With James not too far behind you, you made your way upstairs to Rebecca’s bedroom, gently opening the door to find her giggling softly and hiding under her sheets. “Becca,” you said softly, sitting on the edge of her bed and trying to get her to come out from under the covers.

“No,” she teased, the giggling slowly coming to a stop. She knew what you were here for, and she knew she couldn’t control your answer. But what she could control was if she could see your face or not.

You knew this behavior- you saw it all the time when you taught Kindergarten. She thought she was in trouble for asking you such a big question. The last thing she wanted was to see you get mad at her for asking. And sure, it also might’ve been a rather embarrassing situation for her to be in. She was putting herself out there by asking you, a little bit of shyness was to be expected from an eight-year-old.

But you weren’t mad at her for asking, you couldn’t be. Gently, you tugged at the sheets again. You were okay if she didn’t want to look at you, but you wanted to see her cute face. “Were you serious about what you wrote?”

James watched from the doorway as Rebecca looked down at your hands, fidgeting with the engagement ring on your finger- that her daddy had so graciously put there just last week- to continue to avoid eye contact.

“Becca, look at me, honey,” you said tenderly, finally getting her bright blue eyes to meet yours, “do you really want to call me mommy?”

Reluctantly, Rebecca nodded.

You smiled, watching as Rebecca’s anxiousness faded at the sight, “Becca, I would be so honored for you to call me your mom.”

The little girl gasped excitedly, any nervousness in her body gone for good. James continued to watch from a distance as his daughter engulfed you in a hug. This was the life he’d been dreaming of for so long. He was beyond excited that in a few short months, he’d get to call you his wife. He often found himself sitting and reflecting on the life you two led together, and has admitted so many times since that giving him a second chance was one of the best things to ever happen to him.

He unearthed his late wife’s things not too long after rediscovering them, unsure of what to do with them and needing help. The day he came home from a meeting to you putting together a chest near the front of the house, telling him it would be a memory chest- that was the day he knew he wanted to marry you.

Together, you and James organized what was left of her things, throwing a few old things out, like the expired makeup, with his permission. You loaded the chest with the boxes of home videos, some of her old clothes, an old blanket James had hidden away, and everything that his wife left and kept it in this safe, open area. James hung up pictures on the wall that it occupied, and you topped it off with a vase of white chrysanthemums. The finished product was beautiful- it even made you feel like you knew her, too.

“Now Becca can come here whenever she wants.”

“Not just Becca,” you said, “you can, too.”

That evening, James searched for engagement rings online and found one that was perfect for you within a few days. If this was how you made your students feel too, he was grateful that someone like you was able to be his partner. Maybe he was a little jealous too, but only because he wanted you all to himself. When he proposed, you both broke down afterwards, feeling the overflowing love between the two of you and knowing that you’d found happiness again. That you never wanted to let go of this feeling. It was scary for you, so you knew it had to be even scarier for him to fall in love again. But when you did, you knew you were going to be okay.

-

“So, if you and Mr. Barnes have a baby, would they be born without an arm too?” one of your students, Eli, had asked once the lesson was over. The class had free time, and instead of talking amongst themselves, they decided to ask you questions about your recent engagement.

“Who’s your bio teacher? Mr. Stark? I ought to call him and tell him what you just said to me. It doesn’t work like that.”

Eli shrugged it off, a few of the more science-inclined students filling him in.

They asked you all kinds of questions- when the wedding was, if you were taking his last name, if you were already pregnant and just hiding it from everyone until after the wedding. All of which you just laughed off. You liked their imaginations and how they always craved a good story.

At the end of the day, you were visited by Sam, who’s classroom was only a couple of doors down from yours. You knew he wanted to do a joint lesson with you, but also took the time to catch up. All the drama and your busy schedules kept you from talking to each other.

“All I’m saying is I better be invited to that wedding, no matter how small it is,” Sam said, “I’d give anything to see James Barnes all happy. I just can’t picture it in my head.”

“Well, consider yourself invited. A guest of honor, even,” you joked, “and he’s so sweet. He’s amazing, and he’s such a good dad, too.”

Before Sam could respond, you spotted James opening your classroom door, his smile turning into confusion at the sight of Sam.

“Hey honey, we were just talking about you.” You smiled, getting up and kissing his cheek.

Sam also got up, but only to exit the classroom. “Well, I’ll give you two some privacy. Probably got a lot of wedding planning to do.” He laughed, you playfully rolled your eyes in response.

“You ready to go?” you asked, going over to your desk to grab your bag.

“Who was that?” James asked.

“James, Sam has been teaching here just as long as you have, I don’t think he’d appreciate-“ you looked up, cutting yourself off as you noticed he wasn’t paying attention to what you were saying. In fact, James was only watching Sam walk away, as if he were hunting. “Oh my god, you’re jealous.”

James whipped his head over to you, immediately defending himself. “I am not,”

You laughed, “You totally are.”

“Well, I mean, you see any guy talking to someone as pretty as you, you can only assume they have one thing on their mind.” He made his way over to you, protectively wrapping his hands around your waist after closing the classroom door, giving the two of you some actual privacy.

“Okay… so if the tables were turned, and I saw you talking to someone like Ms. Sokovia-“

“Mrs. Maximoff is hardly a threat, she’s married. Besides, that’s different. All your kids like you, all of the faculty thinks you’re perfect, I just want them to know that on top of that, you’re mine.” He kissed you once, resting his forehead against yours.

“You don’t have to worry about me,” you said, “I’m yours, and I’m always gonna be yours. Also, Sam is engaged. So you’re worried about absolutely nothing.”

James smiled, “Let’s go get our girl.”

“And some pizza, I’m starving.”

“Cesario’s?” James offered, watching your eyes light up.

“That sounds perfect.”

-

“Mommy, I need help.” Rebecca asked, pointing at the word search written on the kid’s menu. She was having trouble finding the word ‘MUSHROOM’.

Your heard leaped a little, so did James’s. “Here, go row by row and find an M. Then look around it to see if you find a U. If you don’t, just go on to find the next M and do the same thing.”

A familiar face greeted you at the table, and you and James found yourself surprised, as if you didn’t know she still worked there. Kate smiled upon seeing the two of you together.

Before Kate could properly greet you, Rebecca gasped in excitement. “I found it!”

Kate laughed, setting down your straws and napkins. You smiled up at her, knowing James still felt too awkward to say anything. “Congratulations, Kate. I bet you’re so glad to be done with high school.”

“Oh, you have no idea.” Kate laughed, “And I should be the one saying congrats, I heard about you two getting engaged! That’s so exciting!”

You smiled as you noticed Kate sneakily try to take a look at the ring. You saved her the trouble and showed it to her yourself. “Do you know what you want to do now? Is college in your plans at all?”

Kate shrugged, “I don’t really know. But I guess I could be a matchmaker, yeah?”

You and James looked at her blankly.

“Okay… I totally set you guys up. I wanted the two of you to be my mentors because I could just see the fireworks between you. And now you’re engaged, because of me!”

The poor girl seemed so excited and proud of herself, you didn’t want to just knock her down and crush her confidence.

James clearly didn’t have the same concern, “Kate, that’s very nice. But I liked her long before-“

“You know what?” you interrupted, trying to signal to James to just roll with it, “You really did. And you did an amazing job, we owe you one.”

“No worries,” she pretended to act humble, “but I wouldn’t be upset at all if I got a wedding invitation in my mailbox one of these days.”

You shared a polite laugh with James, allowing the conversation to move forward so Kate could take your orders.

“I finished! Look Mommy!” Rebecca pointed at her completed word search, every word found (almost) completely on her own. You smiled, kissing her forehead. You knew she was going to take every chance she could to call you that, but you didn’t mind one bit. You didn’t realize how much you’d love her calling you ‘Mommy’ until it happened. At first, you worried you were upsetting the dead- you were sure if the tables were turned, you’d be absolutely pissed if you found out another woman was letting your daughter call her ‘Mom’ while you were gone. But after a while, you were just overcome with the feeling of calmness, as if it was James’s wife- a woman you never met- telling you she was okay with it. You saw her photos differently now; there was a new sense of kindness and understanding in her eyes, as if she were looking at you instead of a camera. You couldn’t help but feel like you were connected now, and you silently promised that you would always take care of her baby.

“What was that for?” James scoffed as Kate walked away to ring in your orders.

“Just let her think she did something.” You said. James still managed to be a little grumpy sometimes, but in a much tolerable way now. It was actually pretty adorable.

“Well, maybe she kind of did-“

“Shh… don’t say all that. A seventeen-year-old didn’t set us up.” You cut him off with multiple tiny kisses until he allowed himself to relax and smile a little. That was always your way of getting him back to his happy self.

“You’re something else, you know that?” he smiled down at you, your arms draped around his shoulders as Rebecca moved on to a maze game on the kid’s menu. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” you teased, rubbing your nose against his.

Despite the long, painful road it took to get here, James considered himself the happiest man in the world, and it was all thanks to his perfect girls.

It was simple, it was gentle. Life itself was more tolerable now that you had each other to point out the good that was still left in the world. James Barnes didn’t believe finding love again was possible, then you came along to prove him wrong.

Now he had this beautiful little family to call his, and he couldn’t be happier.

[cripplecharacters]

Mods

[Large Text: Mods]

Bee

[Large Text: Bee]

Hello, I'm bee (she/her) and I'm a bi ace gal with epilepsy. My seizures are considered generalized and I'm nearly 4 years seizure-free (yay). My epilepsy is still around though it more so plays a part in causing headaches and the now occasional migraine. I'm a full-time college student and I work as a cashier part-time. I have loved creative writing for a long time, and I also greatly enjoy fashion, cooking and reading!

Faelan

[Large Text: Faelan]

Hi all! I'm Faelan, and my pronouns are they/them. I'm a speculative fiction writer, artist, ferret aficionado and former federal public servant! I am Autistic and have inattentive type ADHD as well as dyscalculia. I developed fibromyalgia in early adulthood due to a serious physical injury, which causes all kinds of fun neurological problems and chronic pain.

Frog

[Large Text: Frog]

Hi! I'm Mod Frog (he/him, ey/em) and I'm a fulltime wheelchair or cane user with neurological issues and chronic pain which may or may not be migraine-related. I'm also autistic, have C-PTSD + DID, and am on the schizospec. I've been writing disabled characters based on my own experiences my entire life, and I'm very excited to be able to help others with their characters! My favorite genres are fantasy and sci-fi, and I'm passionate about showing that characters who use wheelchairs can be involved in the adventure scenes, too.

Lane

[Large text: Lane]

Hi! I’m Lane and I’m a bi woman who uses she/her pronouns. I have ADHD and have been blind since birth from LCA (Lebers Congenital Amaurosis). I have a career in Blindness education and customer service, and I’ve been heavily involved in blindness community as a member and elected leader for about 10 years. I’ve also got depression, anxiety, and some Az Yet undiagnosed issues with low blood pressure/hypotension. I am a massive sucker for all things cat and spend most of my free time playing D&D. You can find me on basically every platform as Ask a Blind Person!

Nugget

[Large text: Nugget]

Hello! I’m Nugget (aroace, she/her), and I am a longtime creative writer with a love for all things fantasy and sci-fi. My other hobbies are videogames, boardgames, reading, movie/TV-watching, and learning. I am pursuing a career in mechanical engineering. I have social and generalized anxiety, as well as mild depression and chronic pain resulting from injury.

Roman

[Large Text: Roman]

Hey, I’m Roman, previously known as Becca! I love writing, reading, Twenty One Pilots, and superheroes. I’m working on becoming an EMT and am a very queer idiot. I am HoH/Deaf, schizophrenic (schizoaffective disorder), asthmatic, and have essential tremor and arthritis as well as PCOS and C-PTSD. I’m also mildly colourblind. My pronouns are they/them.

Sasza

[Large Text: Sasza]

Hi! i am sasza and i use he/him pronouns. i am a disabled artist who loves to write and draw characters like me!  i am autistic, (mild) intellectually disabled and have several physical conditions like dyspraxia, severe hyperkyphosis, fourth cranial nerve palsy (a rare condition causing double vision, chronic pain and minor facial difference among other things) and hypermobile joints. i also have an undiagnosed disorder that causes me to have motor tics

Teeth

[Large Text: Teeth]

Hello! My name is Teeth, and my pronouns are it/its; I have no preference for backup pronouns, use whichever is easiest. I’m a multimedia artist whose work often focuses on identity and perception. I have h-EDS, which mainly affects my mobility, and causes instability in my cervical spine, in addition to POTS and MCAS. I am autistic, and have BPD, OCD and C-PTSD.

Tyler

[Large Text: Tyler]

Hey! I’m Tyler. I’m chronically ill, trans and neurodivergent. I’m the host of a medically recognized DID system and have autism, ADHD, BPD, C-PTSD and anxiety. My physical conditions are currently undiagnosed but I have tics, severe joint pain and weakness, issues with walking and standing as well as chronic pain, migraines, nausea, etc. Basically just pick any part of my body at random and I probably have an issue with it. I use mobility aids to get around in day to day life and use a cane or rollator when out of the house.

Mason

[large text: Mason]

Howdy! I'm Mason, a bi transmasc nonbinary person. I'm schizoaffective (depressive type), and have a myriad of health conditions including fibromyalgia, frequent migraines, IBS, tachardyia, ovarian cysts/endometriosis and a hypermobility disorder currently undiagnosed but suspected EDS. I also have generalized anxiety disorder and cPTSD. I'm a playwright who focuses on disability and a part time cane and brace user.

[aliciam72]

I’m only me when I’m with you…

This is for my Secret Santa @sivan325. The prompt was for hurt Alex and Michael taking care of him. I hope this is what you wanted. I truly enjoyed writing this!

read on AO3

Michael rushed through the hospital doors and stopped in front of the nurse at the information desk. “Alex Manes, where is he?”

The nurse looked up. “Are you family?”

Michael hesitated. Technically he wasn’t family even though Alex had said they were at Caufield. But he doubted this nurse would take a frantic declaration meant to save a stubborn alien from dying with his mother as proof he was family. “No, I’m his…I’m his friend.”

The nurse punched a few keys on her computer. “Only family is allowed to see Mr. Manes. I’m sorry.”

Michael ran his hand through his curls. “No, no, no. I have to see him. I need to make sure he’s okay.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just following protocol. If you wait over there I’ll contact the nurse’s station about his condition.” The nurse pointed to the waiting area.

“Michael? How did you get here so fast?” Kyle walked toward them. “Becca, it’s okay, he’s with me.”

The nurse looked up from her computer screen. “Are you Michael Guerin?”

Michael nodded. “Yes.”

Becca held out her hand. “I need to see some ID.”

“Really, Becca, it’s okay…” Kyle started to say but Becca raised her hand.

“Yes, it will be as soon as Mr. Guerin shows me his ID.”

Michael scrambled to get his wallet out of his pocket. He hastily pulled his license out and handed it to her.

She shook her head and smiled, handing it back to him along with a visitor’s badge. “Next time, lead with your name. You’re Mr. Manes’ emergency contact so yes, technically you are family.”

“Thank you!” Michael said before turning to Kyle. “Where is he?”

“Right this way.” Kyle gestured for Michael to follow him. “He’s okay, Guerin. I told you that on the phone.”

“Alex’s idea of fine is very different from mine.” Michael grumbled.

Kyle chuckled. “Very true, but I wouldn’t lie to you. His wrist is broken, we’re waiting for the swelling to go down a bit before we cast him. His prosthetic was damaged when they pulled him from the car and he’s got a few cuts and scrapes, but there are no other serious injuries.”

“Not that I’m complaining but why’d you call me? Alex and I are barely speaking.”

Kyle stopped outside Alex’s room. “Because he wants to go home and he can’t be alone right now. I figured you’d be able to stay with him until he gets his new prosthetic.”

“What? Why me? Didn’t you hear the part where we are barely speaking?”

“Because you have a certain set of skills that will make taking care of him a little easier.” Kyle pushed the door open.

Michael stepped into the room and froze. Alex’s eyes were closed but he could tell he wasn’t sleeping. His breath was rapid and shallow, an indication he was in pain. “Why isn’t he on pain meds?”

“Because I don’t like the way they make me feel. Kyle, is there a reason the one person I didn’t want to see is standing in my room?” Alex asked without opening his eyes.

“If you didn’t want to see me, maybe you should update your emergency contact. What the hell did you do?” Michael crossed the room and stood over Alex’s bed.

Alex opened his eyes at that, hurt flashing briefly before being replaced with anger. “What did I do? Of course, I’m hurt and it’s my fault.”

Michael swallowed around the lump in his throat. “That came out wrong. What happened?”

“Car accident.” Kyle answered. “Someone was speeding on Main Street and ran the stoplight.”

“Are we sure it was an accident?” Michael pulled a chair over and sat down. He wanted to reach out and grab Alex’s hand but wasn’t sure that would be appreciated.

“Yes, the driver was late for work and thought they had enough time to make the light.” Alex replied.

“Your father could still be behind it.” Michael insisted.

“Doubtful. But I’ll look into it when I get home. Speaking of, when can I get out of here?”

Kyle shifted uncomfortably. “Um, about that.”

Alex turned his head to look at Kyle. “What?”

“Your prosthetic was damaged when they pulled you out of the car. It’s going to be a week or two before we can get you fitted for a new one. And your wrist needs to be cast before you can go.”

Alex closed his eyes and groaned. “So, I’m stuck here?”

“Not exactly. I have a solution that will let you go home this afternoon.” Kyle replied.

“Am I going to like this solution?” Alex asked.

“Probably not but the alternative is staying here or the rehab center on base.”

Alex opened one eye and tried to glare at him. “Just spit it out, Kyle.”

“Michael can stay with you.”

Alex barked out a laugh. “No, not happening. I’ll hire someone.”

“I’m really so bad you’d rather hire a stranger? A stranger you’d have to let into your home?” Michael asked.

“Yes. I’d rather have a stranger in my home than someone who not only told me we’re not good for each other but is dating my supposed best friend.”

“We’re not dating. And I was angry when I said that. Besides, what does any of that have to do with me helping you? Isn’t that what family does?” Michael said.

Alex scoffed. “Oh, we’re family now?”

Kyle sighed. “Alex, do you want to go home?”

“Yes! But I don’t need help.” Alex insisted.

“Stop being so damn stubborn! You can survive a week or two with Michael. You know he’s the best choice to help you out…you know with his special skills.” Kyle gave him a pointed look.

Alex rolled his eyes but he knew Kyle was right. Michael’s telekinesis would help him get around easier until he could get a new prosthetic. And even though he was still angry with Michael, he trusted him. He sighed. “Fine. But you’re gone the minute I get my new leg.”

“Anything you say, private.” Michael smirked when Alex turned and glared at him.

***

Michael parked in Alex’s driveway and hurried to help him out. Once he was on the ground Michael asked, “How do you want to do this?”

“Just hand me my crutches. I’ll be fine. I don’t know why Kyle insisted you stay with me.”

“Because your wrist is broken and you shouldn’t be putting weight on it.” Michael replied.

Alex rolled his eyes and Michael put his hands up in defeat. “Fine. Here. Try not to fall over.”

Alex snatched the crutches from Michael and slid them on his arms. He moved to take a step and hissed at the pain shooting through his wrist. Determined to make it inside without help, he took another step and would have crumpled to the ground without Michael’s telekinesis.

“Would you like me to carry you?”

“Over my dead body.” Alex spat out.

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. I’m here to keep your stubborn ass from hurting yourself even more.”

“You’re confusing self sufficient with stubborn. People tend to let me down so I learned to rely on myself.” Alex said.

Michael’s brow furrowed. “When have I let you down?”

“Do you want a list?” Alex said without thinking. If he hadn’t been staring at Michael he would have missed the pain that crossed his face. “Fuck. I didn’t mean that. Look, just let me lean on you and use that brain of yours to keep me upright.”

They made it into the house without incident. Michael helped Alex to his room and arranged the bed for him. “Are you hungry? I can make something,” he said softly, still hurt by Alex’s comment.

Alex shrugged. “I could eat. Hospital food sucks. Not sure what I have though, I’m not good at the whole food shopping thing.”

“I’m sure I’ll find something. I can go shopping for you later. Just make me a list of what you like.” Michael turned to leave.

“Guerin, wait.”

Michael didn’t turn around. “What is it, Alex?”

“I’m sorry for what I said.”

“Forget about it. I’ll be back in a bit with the food.” Michael headed to the kitchen.

Alex leaned back against his pillow and closed his eyes. Why did being around Michael always throw him off balance? He thought avoiding him after he expressed his interest in Maria would help heal his broken heart and make it easier to be around him, but it didn’t. It just made it painfully obvious that he still loved him. Of course, he never had the chance to tell Michael that and now he wasn’t sure it would make a difference.

***

Alex woke to Michael softly calling his name. He rubbed his eyes and tried to sit up. “What smells so good?”

Michael set a tray on the dresser and helped Alex sit up, fluffing the pillows behind him. “Just pasta and sauce. Nothing fancy.”

“I had sauce?” Alex noticed Michael still wasn’t himself and his stomach tightened with guilt.

“No, but I found some canned tomatoes that were still good and I added some spices. I have to say I was surprised at the variety you have, I didn’t think you were big on cooking.” He set the tray across Alex’s lap and placed the bottle of water on his nightstand.

“I’m not. They were a gift from Kyle. I think he’s trying to get me to stop eating so much take out and frozen dinners.” Alex took a bite of the pasta and almost moaned at how good it tasted. “This is amazing! Where’d you learn to cook like this?”

Michael shrugged. “Here and there. Mostly from Sanders.”

Alex lowered his eyes and took a deep breath. “Michael, I was an asshole earlier. I hate feeling vulnerable even when it’s with someone I trust as much as I trust you. I’m sorry for saying you let me down enough that I have a list.”

“You trust me?” Michael looked like he didn’t believe him.

“With my life.” Alex answered. “Hey, can you sit down, it’s messing with my neck looking up at you.”

Michael looked around the room in confusion. Alex chuckled and patted the bed next to him. “It’s okay, I don’t bite.”

He toed off his boots and settled next to Alex. “That’s a lie you know.”

“What’s a lie?”

Before he thought better of it, Michael leaned close to Alex’s ear. “You love to bite.”

Alex’s breath caught in his throat. He grabbed the water and took a big swallow, desperately trying to figure out what to say. He felt his cheeks flush and took another bite of food instead.

Michael cleared his throat. “Uh, I talked to Sanders while you were sleeping and told him I’d be staying here for a week or two. It’s been slow at the junkyard so he won’t miss me. I’ll try not to bother you while I’m here.”

“You won’t be a bother. But uh…is Maria okay with you staying here?” Alex asked, chest tightening with jealousy he shouldn’t be feeling. Michael made it perfectly clear he wasn’t his anymore.

“Not sure it matters to her anymore. I was serious at the hospital, we’re not dating.”

Alex felt the tension leave him. “You’re not?”

Michael shook his head. “Nope.”

When he didn’t expand on his answer, Alex cleared his throat. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you finished? I’ll clean up and head to the store for supplies.” Michael stood and took the tray from Alex. “Do you think you’ll be okay for an hour?”

Alex nodded. “If you get my wallet I’ll give you my credit card.”

Michael stiffened. “I’m perfectly capable of paying for groceries.”

Alex realized his mistake and tried to back peddle. “I know you are but you’re doing me a favor so I just figured I’d pay.”

“It’s not necessary. You need anything before I go?” Michael asked, not meeting Alex’s eyes. Truthfully, buying extra groceries would probably leave him stretched thin for a bit but he wasn’t going to admit that to Alex.

“No. I think I’ll just rest while you’re gone. Get whatever you want since you’ll be doing the cooking. Maybe we can watch a movie when you get back?”

Michael’s heart leapt at the quietly spoken invitation. He smiled brightly. “I’d like that. I’ll be back before you know it.” He took the tray into the kitchen and headed out the front door.

Alex sighed when he heard the door close. “What am I doing?”

***

Michael was able to put away all the groceries, clean up the dishes from lunch and start an early dinner before Alex woke from his nap. He quietly opened the door to check on him for the third time since he got back and Alex sleepily turned his head to the sound. “You’re back.”

“I’ve been back for a while. I hope you’re okay with roasted chicken and vegetables.”

“That sounds great. Um, could you help me up?” Alex struggled to sit up.

“You can stay here until dinner. You should rest.” Michael said.

“I’ve been resting. But now I need to use the bathroom so…”

Michael rushed to his side. “Sorry, I should have asked. What do you need me to do?”

Alex laughed. “Just help me up and let me lean on you. I’ve got some handrails in the bathroom so I’ll be fine once I get there.”

Michael helped him to the bathroom and let go once Alex grabbed a handrail. “I’ll be right outside.”

“Thanks.”

After the bathroom, Michael helped Alex get comfortable on the couch then he went to check on dinner. “It’s almost ready, do you want another bottle of water?”

“I’d actually love a beer.” Alex called back, smiling when a beer floated into his waiting hand.

Michael sat down next to Alex sipping his own beer. “How are you doing? Still in pain?”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“What’s the deal with not wanting to take pain medication?”

Alex shrugged. “I don’t like how they make me feel.”

“How do they make you feel?” Michael prodded.

Alex shrugged again but didn’t answer, instead he took a long drink of beer.

“Sorry, it’s none of my business.”

Alex tried to meet Michael’s eyes but quickly lowered them. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It’s hard to explain. Growing up, feeling pain meant I was still alive, that my father hadn’t broken me. So when I take pain meds now, my brain thinks something is wrong and I panic. I know it’s not logical and I’ll probably heal faster if I’m not in pain but I just can’t bring myself to take them.”

Michael nodded, rubbing his hand where the scars used to be. “I get it. I wish I could heal you like Max could.”

Alex reached out and took Michael’s hand. “It’s okay that you can’t.”

“I better check dinner.” Michael pulled his hand away and went to the kitchen.

Alex watched him leave and sighed. He seemed to be making Michael uncomfortable with everything he did or said. He needed to clear the air because they couldn’t spend the next two weeks walking on eggshells around each other. Unfortunately, communication was not his strong suit. Everything he learned about communication came from the Air Force and his father. In the Air Force you were either the one following orders or the one giving them. And his father’s idea of communication was using his fists and yelling ‘do you understand?’ Still, he needed to do something, anything because he didn’t want Michael to leave once he got his new leg. He wanted Michael to stay, forever.

Michael glanced into the living room and took a deep breath to calm his racing heart. Being so close to Alex without fighting with him brought back memories long buried. Memories of the two of them cuddled under a blanket in the back of his truck, looking at the stars and sharing their dreams. Dreams neither of them ever got to achieve. Dreams that once upon a time included each other. The few short hours he had spent in Alex’s home, cooking and taking care of him made Michael realize this is where he wanted to be. This is where he wanted to spend the rest of his life, with Alex.

***

Alex set his fork down and smiled at Michael. “I think I need to send Sanders some tequila as a thank you. I haven’t eaten this good in a long time.”

Michael blushed. “He’s more of a whisky kind of guy.”

“Seriously Guerin, dinner was delicious. I could never make something like this, thank you.”

“It wasn’t a big deal. I can teach you once you’re better.” Michael casually offered.

“I’d like that. Cooking is probably a skill I can use to keep from starving or going broke ordering takeout.” Alex joked.

Michael placed the plates in the sink. “Did you still want to watch the movie?”

“I’m still kind of tired but we can watch if you want to.” Alex offered.

Michael shook his head. “Let me get you settled in bed and then I’ll clean the dishes.”

“I was hoping to maybe take a shower before bed…”

“Can you do that with your wrist?” Michael swallowed hard, trying to get the image of Alex wet and naked out of his head.

“You’re right, maybe a bath would be better? Kyle did say the cast is waterproof so once I get in the tub I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, let me put the leftovers away and I’ll give you a hand.” Michael covered the pan and placed it in the refrigerator.

Michael turned on the water and adjusted the temperature while Alex sat on the toilet seat watching him. “Thanks. I’ll call you if I need anything.”

Michael furrowed his brow. “Are you going to be able to get in without help?”

“I think I’ll be okay. I still have one good leg and one good hand but thanks.” Alex waited until Michael left before stripping and pulling himself up with his left hand. It was actually harder than he thought it would be and he lost his balance. He caught himself before he fell face first into the tub but various bottles crashed to the floor.

Michael rushed into the bathroom at the sound and sucked his breath in at the sight before him. Alex was naked, gripping the handrail, eyes a little frantic. “You okay?” He croaked out.

Alex nodded, not trusting himself to speak yet. Michael was staring at him, the lust evident in his eyes.

“What do you need?” Michael asked softly, not breaking eye contact.

Alex decided to be brave. “You.”

“What?”

“You, Michael. I need you to help me into the tub and I want you to stay with me.” Alex reached out with his right hand, the left still clutching the handrail.

“I-I’m still not sure what you’re asking?” Michael was sure Alex could hear his heart beating in his chest. Was he saying what Michael hoped he was saying? Did he want Michael like Michael wanted him?

“I’m not good with words, that’s more your thing.” Alex began softly.

Michael smiled sweetly and took his hand, squeezing the fingers peeking out from the cast. “You do okay.”

“I miss you, Michael. I miss your hands on my body. I miss your lips on mine. I miss the way my heart skips a beat when you do that thing with your tongue. I miss everything about you.” Alex rushed out.

Michael wrapped his free hand around Alex’s waist and pulled him close. “I miss you too, private.”

Alex opened his mouth to correct him, yet again but any sound he was going to make was silenced with Michael’s lips on his.

When they broke apart, Alex saw Michael’s eyes filled with unshed tears. “What’s wrong?”

“I never thought I’d get to have this again. I thought I screwed it all up when I went to Maria.” Michael admitted.

Alex brushed his lips against Michael’s again. “You get to have this if you want it but please, can we not talk about Maria right now. I know we have to talk, like really talk but can we get naked and wet first?”

Michael kissed Alex hard and sloppy before gently helping him into the tub. Once he was sure Alex wasn’t going to slip and fall, he turned off the water, stripped out of his clothes and slid into the tub. He settled behind Alex and wrapped his arms around his chest, circling his nipple with this thumb. “We can get as wet as you want.”

A soft moan escaped from Alex’s lips. He shifted back, leaning his head against Michael’s chest. Michael leaned down and kissed his neck behind his ear, smiling when Alex moaned. Encouraged by the soft sound, Michael slid his hands down Alex’s chest and settled them between his thighs, gently caressing him.

“You good?” Michael asked, voice low and breathless.

“Mmhmm.” Alex stretched his neck to give Michael better access.

Michael took the invitation for what it was and kissed him again. “I’ve missed this.”

Alex turned and captured Michael’s mouth with his, biting at his bottom lip. He parted his lips and Alex licked into his mouth, turning the kiss dirty and sloppy. When he broke away to catch his breath, his heart sped up at the soft look in Michael’s eyes. He smiled and snuggled into Michael’s neck.

“Baby, I want you…” Michael whispered in his ear.

“I’m yours.” Alex whispered back, gasping when Michael wrapped a hand around him and started stroking him slowly.

“Yeah? You’re mine?”

“I’ve always been yours. God, I forgot how good you are at this.”

Michael reached a hand up and gently ran a thumb across his lips. “I’m yours too, you know.”

Alex gasped when Michael nipped at a spot behind his ear before gently kissing away the sting.

“That’s it, baby, let me hear you. How do you feel?”

“So good, Michael, you make me feel so good.” Alex closed his eyes and lost himself in the pleasure Michael was pulling out of him. He wanted to stay in this moment forever. He never felt as safe and loved as he did with Michael wrapped around him.

Michael changed his rhythm and sped up his strokes, wanting nothing more than to bring Alex over the edge. He wasn’t disappointed a few moments later when he came shouting Michael’s name.

Alex snuggled against Michael, not caring that the water was getting cold or that his chest was covered in his come. He opened his eyes and looked up at Michael. The soft smile combined with the gentle caress of Michael’s thumb on his cheek made him bold. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.” Michael kissed Alex for a few moments before using his powers to pull the plug, letting the water drain around them. He managed to get them standing without much effort. “I think we need a shower now. Then maybe bed?”

Alex ran his hands down Michael’s chest, while he adjusted the water. “Mmmm, I like the sound of that. I want to feel you inside me, want you to fuck me.”

Michael pulled the body wash to him and gently cleaned Alex’s chest. “That’s not what I meant.”

“You don’t want to fuck me?” Alex almost sounded like he was pouting.

“Of course I do! I always want to fuck you but we’re not doing anything else tonight.” Satisfied that Alex was clean, he turned off the water and grabbed a towel to wrap him in.

“Why not?” Michael looked at him and Alex was definitely pouting now.

“Because you just got released from the hospital. I’m sure sex is on the list of things Valenti doesn’t want you to do. You need to relax so you can heal.” Michael guided Alex to sit on the closed toilet seat and quickly dried himself off.

Alex rolled his eyes. “I’m fine. I want this. I want you.”

Michael leaned down and kissed him. “I want you too but I also want you to get better. You’re exhausted, I can see it in your eyes. Let’s go to sleep and see how you feel in the morning.”

“I’m still going to want you in the morning.”

Michael scooped Alex up, ignoring his sound of protest. “Then you can fuck me in the morning.”

Alex sighed against Michael’s neck. “I could get used to this.”

“Me carrying you around?” Michael joked, setting him on the bed.

“No, I will never get used to that. I meant us…I could get used to us.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that because I’m not going anywhere. I’m done pushing you away, I’m done being the drunk asshole who hurts you, I’m done trying to deny how I feel about you. I’m here for as long as you want me.” Michael sat on the bed next to Alex and held his face in his hands. He rubbed his jawline and stared into Alex’s eyes. “I’m sorry for every horrible thing I’ve said or done to you. I need you to know I’ve loved you since the moment you snatched your guitar back from me, I just didn’t realize until we kissed under those ridiculous fake stars.”

Alex felt a tear slip down his cheek. “Michael, I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for leaving you behind when I enlisted. I’m sorry for not seeing that something else was going on that summer. I’m sorry for every time I pulled you back in and then walked away. I’ve loved you since that day under the stars too, I just let what happened in the shed and my father’s bullshit get in the way. But I’m done letting shit stand in our way. I’ve lost pieces of myself over the years, to war, to my father, to this shitty town, but not anymore. I love you and if anyone tries to hurt us again I will burn the world down to stop it. Because you are the piece I can’t go through life without.”

Michael brushed the tears from Alex’s cheeks.”Nothing is going to tear us apart again. You know why?”

Alex leaned his forehead on Michael’s. “Why?”

Michael grinned. “Because we’re cosmic, baby.”

[bowdownbucky]

𝐁𝐀𝐃, 𝐁𝐀𝐃 , 𝐁𝐀𝐃 !

part two!

summary- you have an encounter with rebecca barnes older brother.

warnings- kissing, slight language and hickeys.

pairings- innocent! reader x college! bucky barnes

bye— i had a dream about this and i deciddd to make it a reality. lemme know if you want an actual story cause there is more to this!! not proof read(sry!)

you and rebecca barnes had been best friends for as long as you can remember, but what you don’t know was that she had an older brother. his name was james but everyone called him bucky, bucky first grasped you attention when you and rebecca were putting flyers around the school for you homecoming dance.

you passed becca the bright flyers, watching her on the ladder as she taped them to the walls. “so i booked our hair appointments at ten? is that good?” becca asked you, you often had a habit of drifting off into space but rebecca quickly put you back on earth. “hello! earth to y/n! i swear it’s like i’m talking to a brick wall.”

“sorry bexs, hair appointment, ten, got it.” she rolled her eyes at you. you and rebecca have small conversations until a loud voice bellows through the hallway. “rebecca what the hell?” you watched as a brunette with pretty blue eyes walks toward you. rebecca climbs down the ladder with her hands on her slender hips.

“what do you want bucky? cant you see i’m busy.” rebecca pointed at you and the flyers, bucky eyed you up and down but didn’t pay you any kind. “would you hurry up! i got somewhere to be.” bucky huffed.

“yeah, like smoking pot with your shitty friends is so important. why are you here anyway? i told you to pick me up at seven.” you stay silent as bucky and becca bicker back and forth, you never knew of bucky’s existence and wonder why becca never mentioned him.

“do i look like a chauffeur? hurry up.” bucky rushed his sister. rebecca turned to you and gave you a big hug. “do you need a ride?” you shook your head. “no, steve is picking me up later.” rebecca wiggled her eyebrows at you. you and steve weren’t super serious but you did claim each other, well you claimed him.

“tell me all the deets later!” rebecca gushed. “there won’t be anything to tell, he’s just taking me home.” rebecca rolled her blue eyes and waved goodbye as she caught up with bucky. what you don’t realize was that bucky had gotten a couple glances at you but somehow you were too naive to notice.

friday rolled around and you were sleeping over at the barnes house, you were excited about homecoming, considering it would be your last one as a highschooler. rebecca showed you her dress, which was a pretty pale blue which matched her eyes. you admired your best friend, she was pretty and what every guy wanted, you were her sidekick and you were okay with it. “i like it but i want mom to add some more sparkles and make a cute slit.” becca explained to you. you normally let becca talk for most of your sleepovers, she never really let you get a word in and she always had something to say.

“i’m gonna go see if mom is up to make a few adjustments to my dress. be right back. make yourself at home y/n” you nodded, painting you nails white. you curse to yourself when you over painted your nails, you walked through the hallways, as you made your way to the bathroom you admired the family photos the barnes had placed on a accent table.

you pick up a picture of bucky, seeing him smile made you feel warm inside. he looked just like his mother, the same blue eyes and cheeky smile. you carefully place the picture down and approached the brown bathroom door which was cracked. you opened the door only to become wide-eyed, seeing bucky inhale the smoke coming from his joint. “oh-sorry! t-the door was cracked. i assumed no one.” bucky held his hand up to cut you off from speaking. you immediately shut up not wanting to upset him.

“no worries. shit the door would ya?” you slowly pushed the door close behind you, you mind was telling you to run but you body stayed, intrigued but the boy i from of you. “this is the only place i can get some alone time, mom is always asking about college and dad is going on about finding a job. kinda hard to get high in my room.” he said, blowing smoke out of the window. “so how’s your stay at casa de barnes?” you didn’t dare look at how red his eyes were. you stared at the ground.

“not the talkative type huh? kinda hard to imagine you and my sister as friends. she never shuts up.” bucky released the joint from his lips and held it out to you. “how rude of me, go ahead.” you opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out. you closed it and shook your head.

“good girl, wouldn’t want to ruin you.” you knees almost bucked at his words. you didn’t even know him and he already had you wrapped around his fingers. “so you going to the home coming dance?”

“y-yes, i’ve b-been planning with beck.” you suprised your self when you spoke. you don’t know how you could speak but he had a hold on you and you were stuck in the bathroom fo. with him for the time being. “miss that stuff to be honest, me and the guys used to have so much fun. and the girls, so nervous, wait g for guys to dance with them. but the girls now are different. they don’t have that innocence anymore.” bucky eyes you up and down like you were his next meal. “well some of them don’t.”

he stood up and you hitched your breath, suddenly afraid to breath around him. he made you nervous but he liked it. it kept you on your toes. he walked up to you, dangerously close, you felt his breath fawning over you you, a mixture of weed and cherry suckers. he reached his hand behind you, locking the door. “wouldn’t want to get caught now would we?” his hand traced yours as he drew another hit from his joint. he blew the smoke into you face expecting you to flinch but you stood tall, face to face with him.

he hummed at you, you wish you could enter his mind and figure out what he was thinking. “you know, there’s something about you. you’re not like becca, all prissy and shit. you’re pure, i bet you’ve never ever been kissed before, ain’t that right doll?” he was mocking you and you liked it. you nodded and his smirk grew wider. he moved closer to you which you don’t think was possible. “i bet you taste nice and sweet. you wouldn’t mind if i had a taste right?” he taunts.

before you could speak his lips, brushed over yours. you couldn’t believe you’d be having your first kiss with your best friend‘a brother. he now had his lips fully enclosed on yours, you could taste a hint of vodka on his lips and it was bitter but the bitterness was overpowers by the sweetness of the cherry sucker. he kissed you deeply, his left hand leaving his side and coming to you like a rocket heading to space. his hand touches your waist, lifting you shirt a bit so he could feel your soft skin.

he nudged his leg between your thighs, feeling you pulsating core on his leg. you gasped at the feeling, giving bucky access to slipping his tongue into your mouth. he roamed you mouth like he was trying to find treasure. he moaned into the kiss, pushing you back and forth against him, creating a hot friction to his thought and your hot core. you let out a tiny moan, you could feel him smirk on your lips.

he removed himself from you now red lips and kissed down from your jawline to your neck. “wait, i-i have a boyfriend.” you knew it was wrong of you but steve never was touched you like this, it wa as new experience and you didn’t want it to stop.

“shhh babydoll, i’ll take care of you.” he sucked on you neck leaving dark purple and red bruised, your blank canvas would be littered with his touch. you didn’t want the feeling of euphoria to stop but it sadly had too when rebecca knocked on the door. “y/n would you hurry up? i need you to paint my nails.”