#I’m pretty sure in my dream I was looking for a cartoon of eggs
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blaisers · 7 months ago
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When I was nineteen my mom and I travelled a long way to visit my uncle and some other family the other side of the planet at his lake house. Now, I used to have horrible problems with motion sickness, so before we left my primary doctor prescribed me the Michael Jordan of Antinausea Meds™️, which also happens to be a large component in some surgical anesthesia medications (don’t ask me what it is, I don’t remember). Anyway, I didn’t sleep on the flight and I barely closed my eyes on the train, so I arrived to my uncles house pale and visibly exhausted. We had a family reunion that afternoon though, so I put off sleeping to catch up with some cousins. Later, as everything wound down, my mom found me passed out on the couch and said, “sweetie, let’s go to bed okay?” I nodded and started moving pillows, checking under cushions, looking on shelves, et cetera. My mom asks me what I’m looking for and I say, “The eggs. I have to find the eggs.”
Now, for context, we do big family Easters (almost) every year where anyone unmarried and without children hunt for eggs. This tradition had been squashed by the pandemic though, and so the last time we had seen most of the family at this point was most likely at an Easter event. My mom saw my glossy eyes and shuffling gate and went, “Hey, Blaisers is sleepwalking…someone help?” My cousin watched me open cabinet doors for a minute while my mom and uncle went “do we give her eggs and pretend like she won the Easter egg hunt? Idk what to do.”
Eventually I started acting somewhat normally, and my mom coaxed me upstairs to go to bed. I go to enter the wrong bedroom (which someone was already sleeping in) and my mom goes, “no honey, that’s not our room.” And I go “I know mom, I’m going to the store. God.”
My mom sits me down in our room and discusses a course of action with my uncle. To prevent me from wandering into the lake or getting hurt, they decide to lock me and my mother into the room from the outside werewolf-style. I start actively participating in my bedtime routine, and my mother breathes a sigh of relief. My uncle locks us in, and my mother also gets ready for bed. As I’m taking my daily asthma medication on the edge of my cousin’s childhood twinbed, I turned to my mom and said, “so when will we go to the store for eggs?”
The moral of the story is to not get a lake house if you have sleepwalking relatives, or you will have to lock them into your children’s bedroom like a werewolf during the full moon. The End.
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gibsongirled · 12 days ago
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hii.. I'm new here, but I wanna request a Jschlatt fic!! Maybe the reader gets uncomfortable by a guy at the subway or somewhere and calls Jschlatt, and he comes to get her when he hears she's really anxious?? :-)
Take your time with it and whatnot :D, thx!!
SUBWAY !!
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description: people at subway stations were definitely something.
a/n: this is a bit short, but i hope you like it !!
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Ah, New York City. Probably the distant cousin of Texas and Florida.
The pizza rats and the mobs of buskers wearing knockoff costumes of beloved cartoon characters that’d swarm unsuspecting tourists for pictures and tips. That was probably the epitome of New York City in a nutshell.
You moved from LA to The Big Apple last year. Living in New York in your twenties was something that younger you had dreamed of.
You grew up watching Friends because your mother thought it was the best show in the world and you tried to stomach that as much as you could before the laugh tracks started to sound grating to your ears, but the idea and aesthetic of living in The Big Apple seemed appealing to your young and naive mind. Now actually living in it, you had half a mind to sock your younger self in the face and scream: “Do not move!”, because New York was nothing like how Friends portrayed it to be - okay, maybe you related to the theme song more than you’d like to admit.
To be fair, New York was like LA - nothing really changed in your move, the latter just ranked semi low on the insane scale of places to live in. Influencers flock to sunny Los Angeles for its overpriced stores like Erewhon. You might have shed some tears when you wanted to try a smoothie from them and found out about the price - with Schlatt cackling maniacally while you were trying to defend your choices, you were glad to move out after that.
“I’m gonna be a little late,” you said into your phone that was wedged between your shoulder and face. You stepped off the platform and onto the relatively empty subway car with its doors closing behind you, quickly finding a place to sit. “I picked up dinner from that place - yeah, turns out they didn’t shut down. There was a raid or some shit, I dunno, man.”
Schlatt said something on the other line that made you roll your eyes and laugh under your breath. “Hey, they have amazing egg rolls. I will not accept slander on their name.”
“I’ll call you back,” you hung up, cutting off whatever retort Schlatt was cooking up when you noticed a man, who was sitting on the opposite side of you. He started an unprompted conversation with you, making you nod with an awkward smile on your face. Two more stops before you’re home.
“You’re pretty,” he piped up.
You made a face, clutching your phone. “Uh, thanks…”
You cut the conversation off by going on your phone, causing the guy to let out a scoff as you kept your attention on your phone. You texted Schlatt, telling him about the weird guy and to pick you up from your stop if he wasn’t super busy.
You: super weird guy on the subway You: meet me at my stop? You: i’m like t-minus one stop away Schlart: Yeah, sure Schlart: Will be waiting
You sent a smiling emoji back. Your stop was coming up so you stood up from your seat, walking near the doors for a quick exit. Surprisingly, the man didn’t follow you - he didn’t even look at you now - and you let out a deep breath. Usually, those types of encounters didn’t happen to you, but that was also because Schlatt was like a guard dog each time the two of you went anywhere.
The doors opened and you stepped out, a few other people walking in different directions behind you. You saw Schlatt quickly walking down the steps, pushing past some strangers. “Hey!” You waved at him, holding up the takeout bag.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” you nodded, handing him the bag. Schlatt took it, leading you out of the subway station with a hand on your shoulder as you talked his ear off about random things.
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dmwrites · 3 years ago
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“And to think, you used to slay thousands.” Phil teased Techno from his spot on the couch.
Techno turned to face him, eyebrow raised, muffin tin in one hand, and casually flipped Phil off. “I can do both- I’m a multi-faceted pig.” He put the muffin tin down on the counter and took off the enchanting apron he was using as a baking apron.
“I didn’t even know you knew how to make muffins.” Phil walked over to sniff at them.
“Niki has been giving me baking lessons.” Techno said. “Although not gonna lie, this is a boxed muffin recipe. Did you ever meet that demon dude, like super tall and had like an egg issue? Apparently this is his brand. He’s on the box.”
“Egg cults not paying the bills anymore?” Phil snorted, picking up the box to look at the smiling cartoon demon and dog on the packaging.
“More like the prison stopped being a thing. Although I’m pretty sure this is just a passion project of his, he’s Skeppy’s guy after all.” Techno grabbed a basket and towel and packaged up the muffins.
Phil hummed disinterestedly and set the box back down. “Wait, these aren’t for us? Where the hell are you going with them?” Phil took a step back and evaluated Techno’s outfit. “Oh my god… that fucking kid has you wrapped around his finger, doesn’t he?”
Techno grunted. “Shut it, old man. Don’t you have farting practice to get to or something?”
“Okay, Mr. ‘World’s-Most-Okayest-Uncle’, keeping talking shit.” Phil cackled.
“Okay, okay, listen, Tubbo took up knitting recently and he asked Michael who he should give it to he and kept pointing at me. What should I have done, burnt the thing?” Techno laced up his boots and shrugged on a coat.
Phil shook his head. “Tech, you know what’s best for you, but you do realize that this kid is very quickly becoming an Achilles heel for you?” Techno grabbed the muffin basket and headed out the door without a word. Phil followed, slipping in front of Techno to stop him. “I’m serious, Techno. Have you forgotten that you are and always will be a wanted man? What if Dream decides to figure out what he could hold over your head as ransom, huh? That kid could be a pork chop in seconds.”
“Please stop.” Techno twisted the basket handle in his hands.
“No, Techno. I know you may have grown complacent in our retirement, but let’s real quick list off the growing list of people that you love, huh? Me, Niki, Ranboo, all of your animals, that Eret guy keeps coming by so I assume you guys are friends, and now you have a former President whose country you helped to blow up, and his kid! You befriend more and more people, and the noose around each of their necks starts to tighten! You know this, I know you know this! So what the fuck are you doing with all these people?”
Over Phil’s hat, Techno could see Ranboo’s old house. Michael was standing at the window, bouncing up and down watching him. Techno was almost sure he was holding the burlap sack Techno had made into a teddy-bear-shaped stuffed animal.
“I’ve changed.” Techno muttered, trying to sidestep Phil.
Phil moved with him. “Changed? Fucking clearly, Technoblade! And what happened when you started to change, go soft, huh? People start to die. Ranboo dies.”
The basket handle shattered in Techno’s hands, and it thunked to the ground. “Phil.” Techno’s anger was red-hot, turning his insides to lava. But Michael was still at the window, still jumping, still waving. Tubbo was behind Michael now, watching. Techno took a deep breath, and then another. His cold breath rose from his nose and up into the air. “We aren’t the same people that came to this land. I am healing, and I know now that there are people who I can love. The war is over, the only war we have left is the harder one, within ourselves. I want to be happy, not on alert. There is a child over in that house that I care for a lot, and I am staying calm right now for him. And I suggest that if you care about your own child, you’d stop staring at his picture on your wall and start doing something about the bitterness inside of you.”
Techno moved past Phil again, grabbing the muffin basket, and this time Phil didn’t move to stop him. Techno crossed the worn path he’d made in the snow, focusing on his breathing. Michael was waving with both arms now, like some kind of piggy windmill. Techno smiled and waved back.
Tubbo opened the door before he could knock. “Everything alright, Technoblade?” Tubbo spoke casually, but Techno suspected that the arm he kept hidden behind the door was either holding a weapon or the doorknob, ready to close it.
Techno shook his head. “Just a little tiff between old friends. You know how it goes.”
Michael slipped between Tubbo and the door and attached himself to Techno’s leg. Techno chuckled and picked the boy up.
“Never been better, Tubbo, don’t worry.”
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dameronology · 4 years ago
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love in the time of p.t.a. meetings {marcus moreno} - 4/5
summary: after a few months of slightly chaotic bliss, you & marcus start to think about the next steps in your relationship. {series masterlist}
warnings: swearing 
this is up a little later than i wanted & i do apologise, i once again stayed up all night and i cannot recount a single thing i’ve done. enjoy!
- jazz
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Things between you and Marcus quickly fell into a routine.
You kind of had to when you both had kids; their lives needed structure. Depended on it, in fact. It wasn’t long before both of your lives were entangled in more ways than one, mostly for the sake of Missy and Jack having security around them but also because things between you were so good. Neither of you were trying to rush by any means, but when it worked, it worked. You were both good at communicating with each other - not that many issues really cropped up - and you both understood that your children came first. Things progressed easily and naturally, and he made you feel secure enough that you didn’t have to question whether or not it was too good to be true. 
Five months had quickly passed and you were both comfortable. Marcus Moreno was your boyfriend and it wasn’t a big deal. Okay, it had been at first - especially the first time he planted a kiss on your lips in front of the minivan brigade - but now? It was normal. It felt like he’d always been there, and you took it as a good sign. You got on well with Missy, especially since she’d witnessed your spat with Carol and started to think the world of you, and Jack...well, he was obsessed with Marcus. You couldn’t blame the kid. 
‘Jack! Put the soup down!’ 
It was another one of those mornings. It was a Sunday, so you didn’t have to worry about getting up early for school or work but you’d been at Marcus’ till late the night before. You and Jack ended up spending a lot of time at his; there was a swimming pool and a big garden for Optimus Prime to run around in, so it tired both of your tiny spawns out, which worked in your favour.
 Even when the kid had spent four hours swimming last night, he’d still risen that morning at 6AM like Jesus Christ on the third day. You’d woken to find the kitchen covered in smashed eggs and ham, then your oven had broken and the toilet was blocked again. 
You’d been halfway through reversing the problem when you’d heard Jack shuffling in the kitchen. You were stood in the hallway, still in your pyjamas, with a toilet brush in one hand and the other balled up into a fist. 
‘Jack, the soup is about to-’
You paused mid-sentence, watching as the bowl he was trying to reach for toppled straight off of the counter. You’d only washed his hair ten minutes ago, and you might as well have not fucking bothered because it was now covered in chunky vegetable soup. And the Chewbacca onesie he loved so much? Trying to peel that off him for the next few hours to wash the Heinz out of it was going to be a whole task in itself. You’d only just been to the laundrette the day before, and you’d gotten to the point in life where having a place with its own washing machine was a sign of success. 
‘Mum, there’s soup in my hair.’
‘It’s okay.’ You took a moment to breath. ‘We are not going to cry.’
‘I’m not crying.’
‘Wasn’t talking to you, buddy.’ You rubbed your temples for a moment. ‘C’mon, let’s go hop in the bath.’
So much of parenting was just...stopping to breath. Stopping to take a moment to remind yourself that although your love for your child was unwavering and unconditional, you sometimes felt like screaming. All you’d done for the last five hours was go in circles, cleaning and lecturing and cleaning some more. It made you wish you were at work that day, because at least then you could have conversations with people that weren’t about what cheese they wanted for lunch or what cartoon they wanted to watch. 
‘I just had a bath.’ Jack muttered. 
‘Yeah well, you need another one.’ You took another deep breath. ‘I’ll be there in a minute-’
‘- I don’t want a bath!’
‘And I don’t want a kid that’s covered in soup!’ You shot back. ‘C’mon, buddy. Just do as I say, please?’
Your conversation was interrupted by a knock at the door. You frowned for a moment - you weren’t expecting anyone. There was no post on Sundays and you hadn’t seen your landlord since the day you’d moved in. Your nosey neighbour knocked sometimes, usually asking about the noise (he didn’t have kids, clearly) and you were this close to telling him to mind his own fucking business. 
‘I swear to god, if that’s David again, I am going to shove this can of soup up his - Marcus!’ You almost did a double take when you saw your boyfriend stood at the door - he really chose his times, didn’t he? You hadn’t even had time to put the fucking toilet brush down. ‘Hey.’ 
‘Hey, baby.’ He greeted you slowly, eyes slowly taking in your appearance (and not in a sexy way). ‘Were you not expecting me?’
‘Shit, did we have plans?’ Your eyes widened. 
‘No, but Jack called. He said you’d asked him to ask me to come over, but I realise half way through that sentence that starting with Jack called probably means you had no idea.’ He offered you a goofy smile. ‘He said that the sofa had exploded and that you needed help.’
There was a lot to unpack there. When had Jack done that? More to the point, when had he learnt to use the phone? How had he worked out your phone password? The kid couldn’t do up his own velcro and now he was a Russian hacker, apparently. 
‘Oh my god.’ You groaned. ‘I am so sorry. Things have been batshit here this morning and I’m sure he had my best interests in his weird little heart, but he made you come all this way-’
‘- Marcus!’ Speaking of the devil.
Jack pushed past you, wrapping his arms around Marcus’ waist. He leant down to pick him up, lifting him off the ground - albeit at a distance, due to Soupgate. 
‘Hey, buddy.’ He greeted him. ‘You been causing trouble again?’
‘Not on purpose.’ Jack replied. ‘Mum says I need another bath.’
‘I think she’s right.’ Marcus said. ‘Why don’t you go pick out some clothes and come back in a minute, yeah?’
‘Okay!’ Seemingly impressed by the newfound trust in him to choose an outfit, Jack wriggled himself back down to the floor, trotting towards his bedroom. Seriously, how did Marcus do that? Perhaps his ability to have authority over your archaic child was another hidden power of his. 
‘You look like you need a break, baby.’ He reached out, gently running a hand down your arm.
‘I’m fine, he’s just been a lot today.’ You sighed.
‘You have soup on your shirt and fluff in your hair.’
‘Couch stuffing.’
‘Huh?’
‘It’s couch stuffing. Except that was Optimus Prime and not Jack, which makes a nice change.’ You muttered.
‘Look, Missy is at her abuela’s today and she’s been begging for ages to see Jack again.’ He said. ‘What d’you say I drive him over there, you clean up and we hang out? Just us, no kids, no dogs, no stress.’
‘That sounds like a fucking dream.’ You couldn’t help but smile. ‘But Optimus has consumed half the couch and I gotta keep an eye on him-’
‘-we can bring him with us!’ Marcus grinned. ‘He loves the garden.’
‘Are you sure? Because I remember you saying you had work plans today and I don’t want you to cancel them on account for the fact I can’t control my own kid. Or life.’
‘You two come first.’ He said it as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. ‘Three, including Optimus Prime.’
--
In the time it took Marcus to drive Jack to his mum’s and get back to yours, you were able to clean up. The apartment was still a state, but it hadn’t been properly tidy in...how many days had it been since Jack was born? Because it hadn’t been clean in exactly that many days. You felt a little bad dumping him on Anita when he was still covered in soup, but if anyone was able to wrestle him into the bath and some clean clothes, it was her. You’d met her a few times and she was absolutely lovely, but you had no doubt she could be terrifying when need be. She was the sort of woman you aspired to be.
By midday, you were driving out the city. There was music playing quietly over the radio and you were watching the houses go by; even though it was cold out, you had the heater on and you were bundled up in a leather jacket, Marcus’ scarf snugly around your neck. It smelt faintly of his aftershave, which had become one of your favourite scents over the last five months. The time had gone so quickly. You’d seen each other practically every day since then, and having the kids meant you’d been fallen into being domestic pretty quickly. The simplicity of it all - him and you and getting to this point so easily - was overwhelming in itself. 
Your first relationship had been so complicated - so finicky and filled with unnecessary arguments. That should have been a sign early on, but then you’d gotten pregnant with Jack and getting married had seemed like the obvious thing to do. His presence meant you wouldn’t have changed anything, not for the entire fucking world, but it made you a little sad to think about how long you’d wasted on what had clearly been the wrong person. Meanwhile, Marcus’ situation had been entirely different; he’d had the right person the first time around and then he’d lost them. You never felt like a replacement to his wife, or even thought about the notion, really. That had been another part of his life. You were a new part and it didn’t mean he was forgetting the past. The two could co-exist without taking away from each other. 
‘You’re deep in thought.’ Marcus observed. He moved one of his hands to rest on your leg, giving it a light squeeze. He did that a lot, usually whenever you were sat beside him at the table or on the sofa. It was just a him thing. 
‘Yeah, sorry.’ You tore your gaze away from the window. ‘My brain always goes a little into overdrive when things are quiet.’
He chuckled. ‘What’s on your mind?’
‘You, actually.’ You tangled your fingers with his, thumb brushing over the back of his hand. ‘I was just thinking about lucky I am and how good things are, and how it almost feels too good to be true.’
‘Better believe it, baby.’ He replied. ‘Because it is true.’
‘I know.’ You peered over at him with a smile. ‘It’s just...my only perceptions of relationships were based on the single one I’ve had. Everything was so complicated and exhausting. This is completely different and it’s so nice. And normal. And I don’t know, that sounds stupid-’
‘- it’s not stupid at all.’ Marcus peered over at you, shaking his head. ‘It’s natural to be a little apprehensive after a bad relationship and if there’s anything I can do to help, you just have to tell me. You know that, right?’
Maybe it was the way he said it, or maybe it was just him, but you knew for certain that he meant that. There was sort of a silent agreement now that you were both in this for the long haul. Your mum had always said that you’ll know when you know but you’d always written that off. Mostly because you hadn’t known the first time round. But, now you did. You did know and though you weren’t going to admit that to Marcus, you never doubted him for a second. 
‘I do.’ You said. ‘But he’s in the past now - and hopefully it’s where he fucking stays.’
‘I have contacts. I can find him and set Miracle Guy on him.’ Marcus’ grin had returned. ‘Just say the word.’
‘You make a tempting offer.’ You smiled back at him. ‘But the past is the past and I’m ready to...slam the lid on that dumpster.’
‘Do you think he’ll ever want to come back into Jack’s life?’
You pondered for a moment. ‘I don’t think so, but if he did, I dunno if I’d let him. I never wanna be the person who stops someone from seeing their kids but what he did was...it was unforgivable.’
‘You don’t have to make that decision until it actually happens.’ Marcus gently said. ‘And I’ll support whatever you choose.’
He pulled into the drive way of his house - his nice, clean, sofa-stuffing-and-soup free house. Optimus Prime leapt out the car as soon as the door was open, practically tearing past the two of you and down towards the yard. There was a moment of silence and then a splash!
‘Guess he found the pool.’ Marcus commented. ‘At least it’s heated, I s’pose.’
Truth be told, he loved having the three of you at his house. It felt like whatever had been missing before was slowly making an appearance as your relationship progressed. The irony was that you brought nothing but chaos and clutter with you, but that was exactly what made it feel like a home. It was small things; the painting that Jack had done for him at after school club was now hung up up on the fridge, and there was a photo of him and Missy on the fireplace with Optimus Prime. Half of the thousands of blankets of pillows that had been at your place had ended up on his sofa, thanks to the countless sleepovers. 
If he could have it his way, Marcus would have you live with here all the time. The energy that you and Jack brought made everything feel complete. He loved the evenings where Missy and Jack would play out in the pool, and you two would sit back inside, complaining about the cold. Then there were the nights where you’d take both the kids back here when he was working late, and he’d come home to find you piled on the couch watching an old movie, with your burnt cooking abandoned on the stove, surrounded by boxes of left over take out. It was the kind of thing that was so simple and so domestic, but it was everything he wanted. 
That was probably the flashpoint moment when Marcus Moreno realised he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. He already knew he loved you - he’d worked that out about three months in, when you’d fallen asleep in one of his shirts whilst trying to wait up for him - but he hadn’t said it. He’d hinted at it and made back-handed comments but he’d barely admitted it to himself, let alone to anyone else. He knew what you and Jack had gone through before and it broke his entire fucking heart. You both deserved someone who stand by you and support you, someone who would embrace you both for the craziness and warm energy you brought everywhere with you. More than ever, he was realising he wanted to be that person who gave it you. After all, you’d made his life so much brighter without even trying.
Snapping out of his trance, Marcus looked over at you. You’d already ditched your shoes and dropped onto the sofa, pulling one of the blankets with you. This was exactly what you needed. A quiet house, your favourite person and a cable knit blanket. 
‘Hey, baby?’ 
You looked over at him, smiling at the name. ‘Yeah?’
‘You know I love you, right?’
You blinked in surprise, sitting up. ‘I know.’
‘You do?’
‘You’ve never said it, but I can tell.’ You nodded, before offering a smile. ‘And I love you too.’
‘I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner.’ He slowly approached you, dropping onto the sofa beside you and taking your hands in his. ‘I think I just got so caught up in everything and feeling everything that I forgot.’
‘Why are you apologising?’ You couldn’t help but scoff at him, leaning forward to press a kiss to his lips. ‘It’s your actions that say it, Marc. Hearing it is good but you showed it a long time ago.’
‘I know, but really you deserve to hear it everyday.’ He smiled against you, helping you move onto his lap. 
‘You do tell me everyday, with the things you do.’ You reminded him. ‘Like meeting me in the parking lot with coffee, or bribing Jack into going to bed early with video messages from your superheroes, or doing my grocery shopping when you know money is short.’
‘Why wouldn’t I do those things?’ Marcus seemed genuinely confused. ‘It’s you.’
‘I love you.’ You repeated the phrase. 
‘And I love you.’
He pulled you into another kiss - this time it was a little firmer, not unlike your second declaration of love. Marcus did all those things without thinking, simply out of his intense want for you to just be happy. He was the same with Missy, always doing little things to make her life easier just because. It was just part of who he was, and it made him happy to see his loved ones happy. 
With your body pressed against his and your hands tangled in your hair, Marcus realised he didn’t want you to ever leave again. He didn’t want you to have to drive home in the dark at ten because all of your stuff was on the other side of town. You did stay over sometimes, but then you’d have to creep out at 6AM with a sleeping Jack in your arms to get home in time to get ready. He wanted you here all the time. You should have been here all the time. 
‘Move in with me?’ 
He both did and didn’t mean to say it out loud. He did because he wanted you so badly to be a permanent fixture in the house, but he also didn’t because the idea might have been a little absurd. Was it too soon? What if you didn’t want to leave your place? He knew you loved your apartment. It was your home and had been for a long time.
‘What?!’ You suddenly pulled back from the kiss, eyes wide. 
‘I mean...if you want to.’ Marcus slowly said. ‘Hell, Missy and I can move to your place if that’s what you want. It might be tight but she loves the dog and I just want to be with you-’
‘- hey!’ You cut him off, planting your hands on his shoulders. ‘You’re rambling again, but that’s besides the point. I would love to live here.’
‘You would?’
‘I would.’ You smiled. 
It made sense. Aside from the glaringly obvious fact you wanted to, it was also practical. It was closer to the school, closer to your work and it had a fucking swimming pool. Marcus was already clearly financially secure and moving in wouldn’t mean relying on him, but it would have meant that things for Jack were a lot more stable. Missy loved the company of you both, and it meant she would finally have the dog she wanted so bad. 
‘Missy would be okay with it, right?’ You asked.
‘She was the one who put the idea in my head, actually.’ Marcus admitted. ‘I’d thought about it but then she kind of asked in passing why you don’t live here, and I couldn’t give her an answer.’
‘Your kid is smart.’
‘D’you think Jack will-’
‘- I’m going to stop you there.’ You cut him off.
‘Right, I probably don’t need to ask that question.’ He chuckled.
‘Exactly.’ You pressed a kiss to his nose. ‘Don’t forget the dog, either.’
‘How could I? I can literally see him peeing on my lawn right now.’
‘Our lawn.’
--
Exactly three weeks later - and after a hefty amount of paperwork and hours of sorting through Jack’s endless amounts of crap that he insisted on hoarding - moving day came. 
Anita had insisted on having the kids again. They were both excited, but perhaps a little too much. They were probably more likely to get in the way of things if anything. Children, a dog and large boxes? It seemed like a match made in hell. Plus, she had a whole ass training course in her back garden and if that didn’t wear the kid out, then you were definitely going to take him to the Heroics to get tested. The thought alone was enough to tire you out. 
You didn’t have too much stuff to move. You’d been half-moved into the damn place before Marcus had even made the formal proposal, so that made things a lot easier. You were keeping your sofa for Jack’s room, but the rest was going to Goodwill. Most of it had come from there in the first place.
‘I think that’s the last box.’ Marcus announced, exiting the bedroom. ‘I didn’t realise that a five year could own so many variations of storm-trooper toys.’
‘Oh, yeah.’ You replied. ‘There’s the original trilogy ones, sequel trilogy ones, dark troopers, shock troopers, clone troopers - and I realise half way through listing them that you don’t care.’
‘I never said that!’ He placed his hands on your waist, pressing a kiss to your forehead. ‘I’m excited to learn.’
‘I’m sure Jack is excited to tell you.’ You grinned. 
Then, it faltered slightly with the realisation you were actually leaving this place. You’d never intended for it to be your permanent home, but it had still been the centre of your entire universe for half a decade. Every room told a story; the crayon marks on the bathroom wall, the dents behind the TV from, the crack in the living room mirror. All caused by Jack, naturally. The last five years was contained entirely within these four walls and you got bleary eyed at the idea of it becoming someone else’s. 
‘Hey, don’t cry.’ Marcus gently wiped away a tear from your cheek. 
‘You know, the rent is still paid till the end of the month so we could revisit the idea of you and Missy living here instead.’ You tearfully smiled. 
‘You’re kidding but you know I’ll do it.’ He pressed another kiss to your nose, grip on your arms tightening. 
‘It’s okay.’ You moved so that the kiss landed on your mouth instead, capturing his lips in a brief kiss. ‘I knew we were gonna outgrow this place. I just didn’t expect it to be so soon.’
‘I know. Still kinda feels like it all came out of no-where, huh?’ He replied. ‘In the best way.’
‘You’re right. In the best way.’ You firmly nodded. ‘Can you believe I was 23 when I moved into this place? I found it on Craiglist within ten minutes of finding out I was pregnant.’
‘Do you wanna take a minute before we go?’
‘No, it’s fine.’ You shook your head. ‘We should get going.’
The apartment was just that: an apartment. And the house you were going to was just that: a house. But the people you were with? That’s what made it count. It wasn’t about the four walls or the roof over your head, or whether or not it had a big yard and a jacuzzi bath tub (though, that did help). It was about the laughter and warmth inside; the faces in the photos on the wall and the people you came home to after a long day. It was the smell of your burnt cooking and the pizza you’d ordered in place. It was Jack’s toys left in the exact place where someone could trip and it was Missy using all the hot water in the morning so that Marcus’ showers were practically arctic. It was everyday things that reminded you of the people around you; the people that made it home, and how lucky you were to have them.
That was home. And you’d found yours. 
taglist: @naivara-duneimith @1-2-3-4-5metalfingers @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky​ @lyanna-the-giantsbane @phoenixhalliwell @crazycookiecrumbles​ @bitchin-beskar​ @comphersjost
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positivityfortoday · 4 years ago
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☀ PositivityForToday’s 10K Celebration ☀
There are SO many things worth living for and reasons to smile and be happy! With the help of my lovely followers/friends, I have compiled a list of 1,000 things that make people happy, for my 10,000 amazing followers! Hopefully, this list is able to help you, make you feel better, or give you a reason to smile today! 
☀ 1,000 Happy Things ☀
Seeing cows while driving
Moss on really old fallen trees 
Seeing a lil baby you don't know in public, and they smile at you!!!
Parents doing their kids hair or just people doing someone they care about’s hair
Really ragged old and well-loved stuffed animals 
When the dandelions start blooming
Spring blossom
Daffodils
Bluebells
Sharks
When you're sitting outside your house or something and people passing by wave and say hi
That feeling in the summer when you have your window open and you're listening to your favorite music
When someone does a hobby just because they enjoy it even if they aren't the best at it
Comfort shows and books
People speaking their native languages
When my brother gets something to eat and always gets me something he knows I like
When I finish a crossword 
When I see something that reminds me of someone I care about
Paintings
My best friend (I love her so much shhhh don't tell her)
My dog! I love him 
My little sisters! Adorable, creative, and very witty. I love them
Music! I get the happy shaky feelings and just,,, y e a h/listening to songs
Singing! Especially for band practice!
Sunlight beams in the morning
The moon
Eagles
That feeling when you’re with friends and you’re all laughing so loudly, and you just feel complete
Talking to my favorite people/talking to my best friend
Sunrises and sunsets
Seeing the stars
Cats
Butterflies/Moths
Snails
Warm sunshine
Purple gel pens
Hugs
My children
Sunny days
Beautiful views
Spending time with my family and friends
Playing badminton
Cycling
Playing with little kids
Playing with dogs
Whales
Animals doing daft things 
Talks and walks with my son 
Morning breakfast and coffee 
A good spicy lunch
Laying in my bed at night and just checking on current affairs and news
My boyfriend
My friends 
Art
Owls
Minecraft
Voice acting
Petting my dog
Smelling Flowers 
Feeling a cold thing when I’m warm or a warm thing when I’m cold 
Giving and getting kisses
Random texts from friends
Coffee flavored chocolate 
Singing
Moths with big white wings
Underdone scrambled eggs
A rainy night
Bubbles
That first warm day of spring
Going on hikes
Being outdoors
Candy
Chocolate 
The smell of playdoh 
Taking photos
Getting new clothing 
Candles
Birdwatching
Going on picnics
Writing poetry
Reading books
The holidays
Making people smile/laugh
Coffee
A nice warm blanket
Eating ice cream
Snow globes
Lightning bugs
Flowers after the snow melts
The smell of rain
Sitting on the steps early in the morning
Being the first to wake up
The feeling I get after running
The comfort of a favorite shirt
My girlfriend 
Family
Random acts of kindness
Babies
When I play with my dog by pretending to run at her and she goes crazy with excitement 
My cat 
Rain
Baking
Piano (playing or listening)
Small flowers
Flowy skirts/dresses
Wholesome romances
Hearing a song for the first time and loving it immediately 
Playing my flute
Horses
Listening to vinyls on a record player
When someone remembers a little detail about you
Painting my nails
Doing yoga
Doing exercise
Beating a personal record
Rainbows
Making crafts
Taking a shower after a long day
Going to the zoo
Going on vacation
Being at the beach or near water
Watching Netflix
Going to the movie theatre
Watching a live play at a theatre
Learning something new
Teaching someone how to do something 
Toasting marshmallows and eating S’mores 
Cupcakes
Seeing a shooting star
Taking a nap
When someone compliments me
Decorating my room
Picnics
My favorite band
My favorite celebrities
My favorite actors
Setting a new goal
Collecting rocks
Putting on fresh clean sheets
Seeing Christmas lights
Listening to birds chirping
Giraffes
Camping
Sitting by a bonfire
Eating mashed potatoes
Bullet journaling
Driving in the car with the windows down
Dancing
Looking at pretty pictures
Concerts
Funny jokes/puns/memes
Fireworks
Sparklers
Pretty clouds
My favorite shoes
Getting new art supplies
Making photo edits
Making gifts for my friends and family
Getting gifts from people 
Balloons
Succulents 
Playing an instrument
Drinking a nice cup of tea
Iced tea on a summer day
Eating fresh fruit
Getting my hair braided 
Eating at a restaurant 
Being on a boat
Swimming
Making new friends
Finding an animal in nature 
Pumpkins and pumpkin patches
Carving pumpkins 
Autumn and all the beautiful colors
Acting for theatre
Making video edits
Wearing a costume for Halloween
Dressing fancy
Finding four leaf clovers
Pressing flowers
Scrap booking
Handwritten letters
Stickers
Hummingbirds
Elephants
Eating breakfast 
Gardens
Inspirational quotes
Wearing my favorite necklace 
Baby animals 
Little streams and ponds
Foxes
Sun shining through trees
When it’s foggy out and you can see dew drops on plants and spider webs
Being on a swing
Finally accomplishing a goal you’ve been working on 
When a new season of your favorite show comes out
Doing my makeup
Cleaning and organizing 
Daydreaming 
Taking a bath
Christmas 
Watching funny videos
Wearing sweaters and hoodies
Fuzzy socks
Helping people 
Little figurines and objects
Popcorn 
Brownies
Looking out the window 
Wolves
Opening a window for fresh air
The smell of coffee 
Watching YouTube videos 
Getting a haircut 
Seeing a deer in the woods 
Watching birds fly
Finding shapes and objects in the clouds 
The smell of fresh laundry
When someone tells me something reminded them of me
Stepping on crunchy leaves
Animal crossing
My switch
Softball/baseball
Basketball
Soccer
Seeing cool cars/old cars
Rollerblading
Drawing with chalk on a sidewalk
Going to bed early
Stargazing
Making progress
Checking things off my to-do list
Taking Polaroid pictures
Going for walks
Jogging
Going to the library
Starting a new book
Finishing a good book
Playing board games
Koalas
Slippers
Big trees
Sunlight coming through the windows
Waking up on Christmas morning
Getting book, song, movie, etc. recommendations from my friends
Making music playlists
Finally receiving packages I ordered in the mail 
Baking desserts
When my favorite song comes on
When people make playlists for each other
Finding new characters to ship
Having free time
Sticky notes
Sunbathing
Traveling
Peace and quietness
Alone time
Meeting my step/exercise goal for the day
The people who love me
Soup
Coloring books
Getting into bed after a long day
Pillows
Fandoms
How unique and different everyone is
Getting a lot of work done
Looking forward to my future dream job
Playing video games
Being on Tumblr
Taking time for myself
Practicing self-care
Face masks
Finding money you forgot about
Holding hands
The smell of apple pie
Starting a new tv show
Getting letters in the mail
When the seasons change
Summer
Mugs and teacups
Smoothies
Breakfast food
Disney
Going into the woods/forest
Trying new creative outlets
The smell of sunscreen
Eating the food you’ve been craving
Knowing and feeling that people care
Telling a good story
Laughing so hard can’t stop and your stomach hurts
Late summer nights
Late night drives
Sparkles
Glitter
Listening to people I love talk about their favorite things and what they’re passionate about
Listening to podcasts
Turning up the volume of my music
Putting my headphones in
Blasting my favorite songs through my speaker
People accepting and supporting others for who they truly are
Wearing something cozy
Soft light
Love
Warm weather
A well-rested night
Waking up in the morning and feeling refreshed
Knowing that every day is a fresh start
Well written characters
A book I can get lost in
Sloths
My parents
My siblings
My grandparents
The feeling of sand beneath your feet
Heated blankets
Bagels
Toast
Getting something for free
Samples
Constellations 
Mason jars
Practicing a new skill
Finding a new hobby
Lazy weekends
Mac n cheese
French fries
Having deep conversations with my best friend
New jeans
Going to IKEA
Skirts 
Dresses
Doodling
When other people are happy (especially people I know and love)
Marching band
Sleeping in
Having the day off
Getting new books
Playing guitar
Playing ukulele 
Random compliments
A change of scenery
Cuddling
Waking before the sun is up
Reading old letters
Zebras
Exploring
Building Lego sets
Using photoshop to make edits
Journaling
Walking along the seafront and breathing in time with the waves
A good rom-com or nostalgic show
Writing lists
Pinterest boards
Looking back at my accomplishments
Talking on the phone with a friend or family member
Wrapping presents
A blue sky
Loving someone 
Waterfalls
Washi tape
Penguins
Donuts
The color yellow
Sleepovers
Cooking dinner
Kind gestures
Trust
Inside jokes
Songs that make you feel nostalgic
Seeing other people’s art
Comfy clothes
Wearing pajamas
Calligraphy
When someone calls you by your nickname
Going to Target
The first sunburn of the summer
Ramen noodles
Chinese food
Thrift shopping
Flower fields
Flowers growing in random places, like through a crack in the sidewalk
Writing
Sparkly snowflakes
When it snows on Christmas
Mixing paint colors together
Perfectly shaven legs
Puddles
The color red
Thunderstorms 
The smell of flowers
The ocean 
Adult sized onesies
Driving a golf cart
Fairytales
Cartoons
The color blue
Pasta
AO3
Crickets chirping
Seeing everyone’s houses decorated for the holidays, especially Christmas
Other people sharing what makes them happy
Monkeys
Being understood
When someone texts to make sure I got home safely
Iced coffee
Becoming better at communicating with others
Seeing a friend for the first time in a while
Good morning and good night texts
Drinking a cold glass of water
Deep conversations in the middle of the night
Collecting sea shells
Building blanket forts
Tan lines
Being under lots of blankets
Making better health and money choices
Getting chills from a song even after hearing it countless times 
Liking how I look
Hot chocolate
Finding new music
Buying cute things
Wearing an outfit I really like
When someone tells you how glad they are to be your friend
Gardening
Watching raindrops race down a window 
Trying new food
Finding exactly what I was looking for 
Planning my future
Finding a song that perfectly fits my mood or describes how I’m feeling
Writing little notes to people
When someone tells me I did something good
Eating ice cream on a hot day
Making friends with animals
Going to football games
Seeing people genuinely interested in something
Snow days
The last day of school
Winter break
Spring break
Thanksgiving
New Year’s Eve
Turtles
Sitting outside on a cool summer day
Watching rain
Watching the ocean waves come in
Netflix binges
A new movie release I really want to watch
Driving with a window down for the first time in the spring 
Taking a cruise
Giving helpful advice
Getting helpful advice
Doing a favor for someone who needs it
Someone referencing one of my fandoms or something I love out of no where
Learning and knowing stuff
Doing something physically challenging or scary
Listening to my bedroom fan while I fall asleep
Coming up with a new creative idea 
Finding something I wanted at the store on sale for a good deal
Finishing all my assignments on time or even early
Hugging my dog
Taking my dog for a walk
Teaching my dog a new trick
When strangers stop to say hi to my dog
Listening to audiobooks
The weekend
Finding a new flavor of chapstick
Drinking Kool-Aid, it makes me feel so nostalgic
Watching nature shows on a weekend morning
Watching cartoon shows on a Sunday morning
A good TV show, most likely something I've watched before because that way I know it ends well
A good, delicious comfort meal on a Friday night by myself 
A café in the city centre at noon when it's not filled with the morning rush or afternoon coffee breakers
The stars from my childhood bedroom because they're the brightest here
Listening to my favorite playlist really loud on a long road trip and singing to myself loudly in my car
Having an entire day to myself without interruptions from anyone
Opening the curtains first thing in the morning 
A new jacket
Going to the cinema on a first release day because it's always super exciting and full of people anxious to see a movie they've been waiting for forever
Listening to live music
Riding roller coasters
Going to amusement parks
Lizards
Seahorses
Starfish
Eating fair food
Feeling an instrument vibrate when you’re playing it
Hearing my dog snore
When my dog dreams in his sleep 
Wearing a new piece of clothing for the first time
Feeling the sun on you
Eyes in the sunlight
Seeing city lights
Singing in the shower at the top of my lungs
Looking at someone and them knowing exactly what they’re going to say
Laughing till you cry
Being under a blanket
Going to craft stores
Watching boats
The idea of traveling the world
When my dogs let me lay my head on them
Listening to an old song and having it bring back memories
Candy corn
Crazy socks
Quotes
Fall and the leaves changing color and the crisp feeling in the air
Making snowmen
Making gingerbread houses for Christmas
Making videos with family
Burning a candle
Booping a dog’s nose
Getting letters/notes from people; writing them
Snow globes
Dr. Pepper
Doc martens
Fortune cookies
Potatoes
Easter
Finishing something
Skipping rocks
Warm rain
When someone opens up to you
Finding the right words to say exactly what you wanted
Animal footprints
Eating outside
Fairy lights
The smell of a hotel
Windows
Meeting a new dog
Dolphins
Getting magazines in the mail
Being in the woods as the sun starts to rise and the animals wake up
Warm days
Adirondack chairs
A warm breeze
Clothes and blankets hanging outside to dry
Feeding birds
Aquariums
The color green
Tie dying things
Going to art museums
Going to science museums
New albums from my favorite artists 
Seeing moss in nature
Finding cute little mushrooms 
When a dog wags its tail a bunch and is excited to see me
Playing fetch with my dog
Obsessing over something and having someone to talk about it with
Going on a walk with my best friend and talking about life
Looking at old pictures and reminiscing on good memories
Reading a book that's so good your brain wants to read faster than it can
Laughing with friends about the weirdest things
Being appreciated for doing small things you wouldn't even have thought about yourself because it's something you *just do*
Being creative
Watching animals
A story I can't put down
Stretching
The moment when you listen to a new song/album by your favourite artist
When you're at a concert and anticipating the moment before the band comes out
When at a concert and they play your favourite song live
The moment when someone compliments your outfit 
When you see someone wearing merch of something you like 
Seeing the sunrise/sunset 
Watching the sun rise out of the water or sink down into it as it’s setting
This ecstatic feeling in general when you're just living in the moment with people who love something as much as you do
Hugging my cat and smelling his fur
Listening to my music by myself and singing to it 
Making edits I’m really proud of 
Losing hours in a good book or fanfiction
Writing sentences that I actually like 
My siblings and my parents when they're being chill and funny
Watching my favorite tv shows and movies and yelling about them into the void 
Finding a new good song 
Fresh out of the shower + fresh clean sheets feeling when you go to bed
When I come downstairs in the morning and my dog greets me right at the bottom step with her lil’ tail wagging
Knowing that if I ever needed someone to chat with, someone would be there to lend an ear
Tigers
Lions
When you shuffle your music and the exact song you want to hear plays
When all my family is around the outdoor fire on a summer’s evening
When my nieces and nephews give me squishy kid hugs
Being home alone and being able to cook or bake in the kitchen without disruption
Driving around with a friend in the evenings and just belting our favorite songs
Seaside walks
Disney World
Seeing live theatre
The sun shining on leaves and stone buildings
Dancing when I'm alone
Color-coordinating my outfit
Floating on my back in the sea
The smell of summer nights
The smell of winter mornings
Colorful things/environments
Bunnies
Walking along lakes/rivers/the sea
Spending time in nature
Taking care of my plants
Giving affection to my loved ones
Listening to other people's stories
Reading about people I've never met before or places I've never visited before (especially if they are now just a part of history)
Embroidering
Pandas
Swimming in a river or the sea
Stargazing (my favorite moments usually happen an hour before sunrise)
White-caged-bird
Feeling the breeze when I spin and my heartbeat when I dance for an hour at a time
All the wonderful smells of flowers and colours that nature has to offer
Sharing good laughter with someone
Feeling like I belong
Travelling and discovering new customs of different cultures
Hiking or foraging
That feeling when I'm approaching the end of a really good book and I let myself be engulfed by the fact that it's a unique experience, that I'll never experience as the first time again
Observing my local fauna
Petting and taking care of an animal (double the joy if it is friendly with strangers)
Drinking a good cup of honey tea
Finding a perfume that suits me
Eating something sweet
Enjoying a meal with others
Cat paws tapping on the floor
Dipping a biscuit into tea
Trying to catch leaves falling from the tree
Having sunlight hit your face when you’re napping
Objects that cast a rainbow when the sun shines through them
Seeing patterned shadows
Ambient mood lighting
Sleeping
Wearing jewelry 
Cheese
Playing chess
Fresh air
Going somewhere new
My Mom’s cooking
Being inspired
When someone holding your hand rubs their thumb lovingly in circles
Picking strawberries
Otters
Painting the walls of my room
Wind chimes
Seeing that your favorite people are active online
Finally understanding something you were struggling with
The excitement you get when someone reblogs your writing or art
Getting a new notebook or journal
Appreciation
Validation
When someone tells you they love you and mean it
The smell of freshly baked bread
When my dog falls asleep on me
Making new online friends
Found family
Finishing cleaning my room
When someone lays their head on your shoulder
Doing something right on the first try
Finally sitting down after standing for a long time
Getting goosebumps from hearing or seeing something you love
Seeing a gorgeous view
Loving someone and them loving you back
Freshly baked gooey cookies
When a song comes on and everyone starts singing
When I’m out for a run and it’s hot and it starts raining. Nothing makes me feel more like a human than getting caught in the rain on a run
Swimming in the ocean
When people are talking about something they really love and get carried away trying to explain it all to you
Puppies
Being in the middle of nowhere and actually getting to see the whole sky of stars that you never get to see in a city
Finding people that love the same things you do
 When something silly reminds you of someone you love; like every time I see an orange and green gummy worm I think of my sister
When you’re hugging someone and they squeeze you a little bit before they let go
Weather where you can leave all the windows open in your house
Trampolines
Driving with no destination in mind
Falling asleep to the sound of rain
Hearing other people laugh
Laughing only because you hear someone else laugh and it's just so contagious
The first snowfall of the year
Disney movies
Listening to someone tell stories and they have like 15 side stories in between the main one
Romantic movies
Bubble baths
Smiling between kisses
Wearing sweatpants
A clean house
Pizza
My computer
Cheesy pickup lines
When people tell me they miss me
Cool spring mornings after a storm
My job
Butterflies
New shoes
Oversized shoes
Caramel apples
Volunteering
Meditating
Running my blog
Finding sea glass at the beach
Getting my nails done 
Planning vacation
Hot cider
Telling people I love them
Writing in my gratitude journal
Eating homegrown vegetables, fruit, and herbs
Remembering a good dream I had
Happy endings
Colored pens
Decorating for the holidays
Finishing a really good tv show
Leopards
Summer rain
Thunderstorms where I can just open my window to the full extent and just watch and listen
Calls with my best friend
Seeing a meme and sending it to my friends
Getting an email from AO3
That moment when you get an idea for creating something
Walking barefoot on the grass
Sending thank you notes
Writing events I’m looking forward to on my calendar
Dippin' Dots
Spicy food
Seeing a full moon
Eating cookie dough
Eating seasonal food
Bubble wrap
Going to the car wash and getting rainbow soap
Dark chocolate
Soft blankets
Weighted blankets
Soft drinks with crushed ice
When I get an unexpected phone call from someone I love
Wearing flip flops
Longer daylight hours
Having a BBQ
Frosting cookies
Making cupcakes in the microwave
Watching the Hallmark channel during the holidays
Taking selfies or photos with people I love
Putting on lotion
The smell of a baby’s head
The Office
Online shopping
The smell of freshly cut grass
Surprising my family or friends
Looking at the clock when it’s 11:11
Being productive
Quilts
Doing good on an exam
Someone doing a favor for me (especially when I didn’t ask)
Eating pancakes with syrup
Origami
Sprinkles
Confetti
Waving at people
Giving high fives
Complicated Handshakes between you and your best friend
Naps/feeling well-rested
Eating one of my favorite foods
Hearing good news from/about a friend or family member
Looking at nature (these days it's seeing squirrels in my neighbour's garden and looking at my plants and trees)
When make someone happy or feel like I made a difference (including a satisfied client)
Success (good grades, a gifset that does well)
Hugs from my mom
Learning new things
Chatting with my friends because they’re all amazing people
Group watches of my favorite tv show or movie
That feeling when the house has just been cleaned/when I’m freshly showered
Making jokes/laughing with people
Reading fluffy fanfics
Driving on the road to a destination far away, I love the trip as much as (if not more than) arriving at the actual place
Reading affirmations
Green tea
Getting breakfast or lunch from a nice restaurant 
Learning about topics that won’t benefit me; like Chinese history, geography, ancient flora and fauna, etc. just things that I find cool 
The jokes my girlfriend makes, especially when they’re the same ones she always makes
Stories from the past! Stories from history from people who actually lived through it
Stories in general, just hearing the life experiences of people in completely different positions from me. I love hearing people’s stories
Drawing intricate things, like old buildings, landscapes, and plants
Cooking a nice meal
Grocery shopping and farmers markets especially 
My cat! All of her weird little habits too, like how she stands in front of my feet so I’ll push her where she wants to go 
Botanical gardens
State parks
Museums
Art galleries
Listening to stories my grandparents tell
When people tell me about their life goals and dreams
Being surrounded by the people I love 
Living the best life I can
Partying hard the night away
Daydreaming
Sunflowers always make me smile
Warm tea
Big fluffy clouds in a blue sky
Friendly babies
Hearing a past favorite song
Singing karaoke 
Biking riding
Helping others
Chocolate milk
Sweets and fruits
Having fun doing things I love
Dragons
Video games
My favorite things
Writing
Affection
Exercising
Being on Tumblr
Pinterest
Looking at flowers and plants
Playing with my cats
Chatting with my friends (at the moment it’s through zoom, of course)
Finding new ways to decorate my room
Window shopping
Spending time with my boyfriend
Wearing my favorite outfit/accessory
Eating something delicious
The cool side of my pillow 
Tears of joy
Woodpeckers
Reading poems
Hugging trees
Tree houses
Airstreams/campers
Playing frisbee
Making sculptures
Puppy ears
The first day of spring
The first day of summer
Sending silly photos to my friends
Building sand castles
Winning prizes at the fair or arcade
Marbles
Cacti
Scrolling through my phone
Writing fanfiction
Seeing someone you haven't seen for a really long time
Putting together collages
Printing out photos I love
DIY projects
Sewing 
Crocheting 
Listening to steel drums
Haunted houses
Going through a corn maze
Picking fresh fruit or vegetables
Bubble tea
Starbucks
Dunkin donuts
Disneyland
Disney Princesses
Climbing trees
Finishing errands
Rewatching my favorite episodes
Scrunchies
Milkshakes
Ice cream blizzards
Listening to acoustic versions of songs
Hot tubs
Rubber ducks
Coconut flavored food
Dipping fries in ice cream
Discovering a new type of animal
Seeing hot air balloons
Frogs/toads
Splashing in puddles 
Having plants inside my house
Teddy bears
Iridescent/holographic things
Bird houses
Breakfast in bed
Crystals/gemstones
Ziplining 
Dew drops
Glow sticks
Flower crowns (especially handmade ones)
Spring rain 
Watching other people make art
Lighthouses
Finding heart shaped things in nature
Thinking of getting my own apartment
Coming up with a new recipe for food
Cookbook recipes passed down through families
Bookshelves
Making pretty yogurt bowls
Seaside houses
Flying on planes and being in/above the clouds
Flower bouquets
Looking at and learning about the planets
Fruit snacks
Palm trees
Weeping willow trees
Cherry blossoms
Eating cake
Decorating cakes with eccentric icing designs and colors
Whipped cream
Having snowball fights
Hearing Christmas music
Tattoos
Wearing rings
Green grass
A tidy organized desk with cute desk supplies
My craft room
Hammocks
Little cottages
Cotton candy (and cotton candy flavored things)
Looking at all the paint pallet colors in paint stores
Stamps
Taking silly photos in photobooths
Going to the mall
Making jam, especially strawberry jam
Reading outside
Finding a bird nest and watching eggs hatch
Looking at photos of my family and friends 
Finding old flora and art books
Eating fresh corn on the cob with butter on a summer day
Lily Pads
Icicles
Inner peace
Sitting under a tree
Not having to turn on the light in your room when the sun is shining through
When restaurants have patios you can dine at
Fishing on a pier
Seeing old couples in public
Making gifs
Trees swaying in the wind
Anime
Dying Easter eggs
Laying in the trunk of a car and watching the clouds or stars
Night lights
Flower shops 
Outer space
Kitchens
PB&J sandwiches
Toasted Cheese
LoFi music
Listening to/watching ambience videos
Turtle necks
Peaches
Looking at old maps
Figurines of the earth/globe
Honey and bees
Cheesecake
Seeing footprints in sand and watching them be washed away by waves
Anything related to the moon, stars, and sun
Reading my horoscope (even if I know it’s not real)
Archways decorated with hanging flowers
Yogurt
Pudding
Knowing that I’m not alone
Ancient roman sculptures
Macarons
When someone tells me they care about me
Weddings
Watercolour
Birthday parties 
My brother
My sister
When my dog leaves his bed to lay in the sunlight
Doing mini photoshoots with my friends
Hand making bracelets/necklaces (friendship bracelets)
When someone calls me darling or honey
Love letters
Game night
Skateboarding
Stress balls and squishy toys
Starting something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time
Playing cards
Doing puzzles
Word searches
Kittens
Ordering takeout
Stepping out into the fresh air
Creating vision boards
Getting a massage
Writing positive affirmations
Lunch dates
Standup comedy
Listening to classical music
Nature/animal documentaries
Having someone there to listen to me
Listening to someone when they need it
Accepting myself for who I am
Looking back and seeing how far I’ve come and all the progress I've made
Doing something my future self will be thankful for
Speaking up for myself
Being near loved ones
Finding time for my hobbies
Giving myself time to rest
Saturday mornings
Marrying the one I love
Discovering new things
Going to new cities
My idols
Pastries
Feeling the wind on my face on a car ride
The sensation of music in my ears and like nothing else matters
People who have my best interest in mind
Simplicity
Fulfilling my dreams
Discovering a new ice cream flavor
Knitting
Making myself a priority
Knowing that I am important, and I matter
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Thank you all so much for following me and supporting my blog! It means a TON! I never expected for this blog to become popular, especially because I originally started it to help myself get through some mental health issues. I am so happy to be able to share my journey of healing with you all! It means the world to me to help or make a positive impact on even just one person’s life! Each and every single one of you is amazing!! You matter and you are SO important! Thanks again for your everything! Have a great day!!! Sending sunshine your way!! 
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another-tmnt-writer · 4 years ago
Text
You Fell From the Sky
Leonardo x Reader
Author: Admin Mo
Prompt: okay this'll sound real dumb bUT- this universe!reader meets bayverse boys? like maybe reader wakes up in the bayverse and is very aware about the turtles? i dunno it sounds confusing but maybe it's an interesting prompt?
Note: I love this concept. I’ve dipped my toes in the water before, but this time, I’m going all the way. Also, I know you didn’t specify a turtle, but I zoned it in on Leo. I can definitely write another if y’all want more because I’m obsessed with this idea. <3
Warnings: Some language…
Word Count: 1.9k
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“Okay, guys, don’t crowd her. I’m sure she’s gonna be disoriented, and-”
“Donnie, is the angel alright? It must have hurt, falling from heaven.”
“Get outta the way, Mikey. Go wash the pizza off your hands.”
“Could we give her some room, please?”
The voices echoed around in your head, which was pounding painfully. You opened your eyes and everything was blurry. You were just about positive you were hallucinating, because when your vision finally started to come into focus, you were surrounded by four very tall, very familiar mutant turtles.
“No fucking way…” you murmured, looking up at each of them. They were even more detailed and lifelike than they were in the movies. Which was to say, very lifelike.
“Not the reaction I expected, but I’ll take it.” Mikey smiled, shifting to present himself to you. “The name’s Michelangelo, but the ladies call me—”
“Mikey, yeah, I know.” You cut him off and he gaped at you, his blue eyes wide.
“Are ya psychic or something?” Raph asked. You stared at him for a long second. His muscles were impossibly large, his eyes just as green as you thought they’d be.
“N-No, not exactly. I…well, I’m pretty sure I’m from an alternate universe. Or something.” You looked at Donnie, who was furiously taking notes and way taller than you expected him to be, and then to Leo, whose arms were crossed, his clear blue eyes analyzing everything you said. “Because where I come from, you guys are fictional.”
“Woah. I did not expect that.” Mikey said, looking at Raph for some sort of reaction from his older brother. “Bro, did you—”
“Shut up for like two seconds.” Raph snapped, his attention turning to you. “Can you say that one more time?”
“You guys are fictional. When I was growing up, I watched your cartoons, collected action figures, read your comics…This is unreal.”
“Comic books?” Donnie inquired.
“Cartoons?!” Mikey’s eyes widened.
You nodded.
“So…you know everything about us?” Leo asked, a twinkle of amusement working its way into his icy gaze. He wasn’t quite convinced yet, but he had to admit you were convincing at the very least.
“I mean, not really. Kind of. Maybe?” You shrugged. “I know you have a bonsai in your room.”
You didn’t think it was possible for them to blush, but after that comment, Leo proved you wrong, chuckling and rubbing the back of his neck.
“Just about everything then, yeah.”
“So what happened, Donnie? Why am I here?”
Donnie straightened up when you addressed him by name. “Uh, well, I was trying to figure that out, actually. We were out on patrol and there was a bright flash in the sky and you fell from it.”
“Leo caught you even though I called dibs.” Mikey pouted.
“You saved my life.” You gasped and looked up at Leo. “Thank you.”
“I couldn’t just let you fall, ma’am.”
“(Y/N).” You introduced. “My name is (Y/N).”
“Well, (Y/N), I hope ya like the smell of sewer.” Raph chuckled. “If not, you’ll get used to it.”
***
The turtles spent the rest of the day asking you lots of questions about your world and the representations of them that were in it. You told them that the universe they were in was closest to a series of movies by Michael Bay, which, Raph and Mikey found exciting given their love of the Transformers movies.
Leo didn’t say much, but he was always in the room, listening. When night came, Donnie was the first to leave the room, retreating to work in his lab. Then Leo went to his room to sharpen his swords and water his bonsai. Raph went to sleep next, and Mikey stayed up the latest, playing Mariokart with you until pretty close to dawn. You’d almost forgotten that the boys usually slept during the day.
When you were out alone in the living room, Leo came into the room, holding a large knitted blanket and a pillow, a tentative look on his face.
“Hey.” He approached you quietly. “I figured you’d need these. It gets kind of cold down here.”
“Thanks, Leo.” You tucked your hair behind your ear. “I really appreciate you guys letting me crash here.”
“Don’t mention it. It’s the least we could do.” He shook the blanket out and draped it over your legs. “If you need anything, my room is over there.” He pointed back towards where he’d come from.
“Thank you.” You smiled. “I’m sure Donnie will figure this all out soon enough and then I’ll be out of your hair.”
“Well, you’re welcome to stay for as long as that takes.” Leo smiled and then added, “Good night.”
“Night!”
Once he was gone, you laid down on the couch and stared up into the darkness for a little while, thinking about the events of the day. You were stranded in the Bayverse. And…well, actually, you weren’t all that upset about it.
***
When you opened your eyes the next morning, you half expected it to all have been a dream. I mean, that was the only logical explanation, right? Well, then you took a look around at your surroundings and realized that it was three in the afternoon and you were in the lair instead of your bedroom.
Once you stretched and got your bearings, you got up and walked to the kitchen, where Splinter was pouring tea from a teapot.
“And you must be the girl who fell from the sky.”
You had to stop and admire him for a second. Master Splinter, the boys’ dad, a wealth of endless support and wisdom. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t looked up to him when you were young. Hell, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t look up to him now when you needed advice.
“It’s an honor to meet you, sir.” You were shaking. “I’m not sure if the boys told you where I’m from…”
“They have, yes.” He nodded. “Donatello told me of the alternate universe you came from.”
“You helped me through so much when I was growing up. You all did. It’s really surreal being here.”
Splinter smiled and stroked his beard, that wise twinkle in his eyes. “I’m glad you found your way to us, child. We’ll make your stay here as easy as possible.”
“Thank you.”
“(Y/N), I made eggs.” Leonardo’s voice from behind you scared the hell out of you.
You jumped and turned around, laughing as your racing heart slowed back down to normal.
“Sorry. Do you like eggs?”
“I do, yeah.” You chuckled. “Thank you, Leo.”
“Of course. They’re on the stove.”
“There’s cheese on the counter!!” Mikey added, already sitting at the table. “I saved you a chair over here, angelcakes.”
You had to admit, hearing him say that in person did make your heart flutter a little bit. You put some eggs and toast (with jam, provided by Donatello) on a plate, sprinkled some shredded cheddar on top and settled into the seat Mikey had saved, conveniently located between the youngest brother and the leader in blue.
“So every day, you guys wake up this late?” You asked, still a little bewildered that breakfast was at three in the afternoon.
“That’s just the downside of living in the shadows.” Raph shrugged. “But it ain’t so bad.”
“Right, of course. It’s just different than what I’m used to is all.”
“So what do you do, normally? Like, in your world, I mean.” Donatello asked. He didn’t have his notebook on hand, but you could tell he was taking mental notes.
“Well, I’m a student. I’m in college. I read comics and watch movies, and sometimes I write in my free time.”
“Comics about us?” Mikey raised an eyebrow, smiling knowingly.
Your cheeks burned red and you laughed. “Maaaaaaybe.”
Leo let out a little sigh and shook his head. “That’s still so weird to me.”
“Let me tell you, that’s a two way street.” You chuckled. Even thinking about it was still almost too weird to comprehend. You pulled out your phone, which still worked, fortunately, and went through your photos, scrolling all the way back to Halloween. You held it up to show them. “My roommates and I were you guys for Halloween.”
“And you were Leader Boy, huh?” Raph pointed out. “Noted.”
“I mean, yeah.” You didn’t think your face could get any more red.
“Wait, Leo’s your favorite?” Mikey pouted. “Aww…”
“I don’t think it’s fair to pick favorites. I like all of you guys for different reasons.”
“It’s alright if you admit you had a crush on Leo.” Raph whispered, cupping a hand around his mouth.
“Alright, alright, enough of that. She’s our guest. We’re not gonna grill her. She just got here.” Leo stepped in, a faint blush on his cheeks. He wasn’t sure why, but he couldn’t get the picture of you in a blue mask with little foam katanas out of his head.
“Right, there’s a two week minimum before we get to grill her.” Donnie added, grinning as he pushed his glasses up his nose.
“Aww, how considerate.” You laughed.
The rest of breakfast was pretty uneventful. You finished eating and then went out to the living room and settled onto the couch. Luckily, your backpack had made the trip over with you, so you had your laptop and some of your homework. Not that you could get online and get in touch with people from your universe, but at least you could get some writing done if you wanted to.
Leo wandered out, his muscular arms crossed over his chest, a soft look in his eyes. He hovered behind you for a few seconds before finally speaking. “Hey.”
Unaware that he had been there, you jumped. “Jesus! You guys are quiet, holy fuck.”
“Sorry about that.” He laughed, carefully sitting on the opposite end of the couch, giving you space, but still sitting close enough to make your heart flutter the teeniest bit. “And, uh, I’m sorry about them earlier. Raph specifically. I’m sorry if he made you uncomfortable or—”
“No, it’s fine. Really,” you said. “But thank you for checking. I appreciate it.”
“Of course.” He was quiet for a few moments before he asked. “Do you believe in fate?”
“Until yesterday, I’m not sure I did. But there’s gotta be something like that out there for me to end up here of all places.”
“For the record, I’m glad you ended up here, too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. His blue, blue eyes met yours. “Is it selfish if I say I wouldn’t mind if you stuck around for a while?”
“Is it selfish if I agree?” You replied, causing him to laugh.
“Glad we’re on the same page, then.”
“Me too.” You smiled and just spent a few long moments admiring him. The movies truly didn’t do him justice. Honestly, it was the truth: you wouldn’t mind sticking around for a while. For a long while…
Part 2
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love-takes-work · 4 years ago
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Korean Lunch for the Universes 
Why yes I did make an entire Korean meal for two based on less than five seconds of footage in “Steven’s Dream,” why do you ask?
Instructions and commentary below!
See more SU food tutorials!
It's that time again where I have to spend an entire morning cooking a full meal because seconds' worth of food on a cartoon
Steven and Greg went to Korea and Did All the Things. That includes lunch.
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Welp. I'm that weirdo who makes Every Dish In Steven Universe, so get ready to learn now to make all this food.
Four Parts
Sushi
Noodle Bowl
Dumplings
Pickles
I'm pretty familiar with the Japanese equivalents, but this is Korean food and honestly I'm a total tourist to this. So I'm afraid I'm going to mostly approach it like a tourist and take some shortcuts. Some of my stuff is from packages instead of from scratch. Sorry!
SUSHI
This Korean sushi is called gimbap . You will need to make the sushi rice a specific way and then prepare the sushi roll.
Ingredients:
11 1/2 ounces sushi rice
1 1/2 cups cold water
4 tablespoons rice vinegar
3 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 package nori (seaweed sheets)
1 carrot
1 danmuji (pickled radish)
Some leaves of spinach
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First, sushi rice is made a special way. I am no expert, but the way I do it has worked fine for sushi in the past. First you measure out your 11.5 ounces of rice and put it in a sieve, then wash thoroughly with tap water.
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Put it in the pan you will cook it in, pour the 1.5 cups of cold water on, and let sit WITHOUT COOKING for 30 minutes.
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When the soak time is up, turn on high and boil. As soon as it hits boil, turn to low, cover, and cook 15 minutes. Then turn off the heat and let steam in the pan for 10 more minutes. You now have fluffable, tasty, sticky steamed rice!
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Next, make your vinegar concoction. Combine the vinegar, the sugar, and the salt in a small dish. Microwave it to dissolve the sugar. I did this in a few 20-second bursts. It smells strongly but I love that smell. Make sure when you stir it, there's no sugar on the bottom! It must be dissolved.
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Pour the concoction over the hot rice and stir it in. You are ready to work with it!
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While you're waiting for soaking, boiling, and steaming, you can prepare veggies.
• Pickled Radish: Cut discs and chop in six to eight pieces each.
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• Carrot: Wash, peel, and cut into medallions. Chop those medallions into halves or quarters depending on how big they are.
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• Spinach: Chop off the stems and cut into ribbons.
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Put a sheet of nori on your rolling mat, rough side up. Spread some rice on using a wooden implement designed for this and get it out to the edges evenly.
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Place a line of each vegetable toward the upper third of your mat of rice.
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Roll, compacting as you go, and pull the rolling mat out with a tuck before the top edge goes under. Roll up the rest of the way, remove from mat, and cut in thin slices with a sharp knife.
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Gimbap is DONE!! (Sorry, it’s messy. Not my first time doing sushi, but it was my first time trying to slice thin.)
NOODLE SOUP
This particular kind of noodle dish reminded me of a dish I once ate in Japan: Zaru Soba. It's buckwheat noodles served cold! Well, turns out the Korean equivalent is very similar. It's called naengmyeon .
There are many varieties and choices when it comes to making your own naengmyeon. You should have thin brown noodles (buckwheat works), a chilled broth of either beef or kimchi/radish water, seasonings (usually mustard powder and chili paste), and various garnish.
As mentioned above, I am taking some shortcuts here as I'm no expert to this cuisine, so I got a packaged naengmyeon kit that included noodles, broth, and seasonings.
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For garnish, after looking at naengmyeon recipes and comparing Steven and Greg's soup to them, I determined they have strips of English cucumber, strips of beef brisket, slices of Korean pear, and a hard-boiled egg. The garnish was up to me. I got these items and substituted pan-fried soy bacon for the brisket.
NOODLES
I boiled water, added the cold noodles, boiled them for only ONE MINUTE, strained them, and ran cold water over them before placing them in serving bowls.
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BROTH
The broth is supposed to be literally icy and mine was but it was no longer apparent once I poured it out and stirred seasonings in, to taste. Then I added it to the noodle bowls.
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PICKLE
I chopped an English cucumber into strips to lie on top.
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"BEEF"
I fried soy bacon in oil in a frying pan and added soy sauce for color to make it resemble beef brisket.
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KOREAN PEAR
These things are more like apples from where I live! But taste like pears. Crunchy and good. (I also read that you can juice these into your broth if you want more kick.) Slice thin slices and add to the pile.
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HARD-BOILED EGGS
I boiled six eggs like this: Put cold water in a pan until there’s enough water to cover the eggs by about an inch. Boil the water. Once it’s boiling, add eggs cold from the fridge. The water will briefly stop boiling. Wait for it to start boiling again and wait 30 seconds.
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Then turn the heat down to LOW and put a cover on the pot. Let the pot simmer for 12 minutes.
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Then turn off the heat, remove the eggs from the water, and put them in ice water. Let them chill briefly, then peel.
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Cut an egg in half and add to the pile.
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Congrats! It's naengmyeon.
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DUMPLINGS
Here's another one where I took a shortcut. Most likely Steven and Greg are eating mandu, which is kinda any kind of dumpling, but the pork buns are super popular so they are probably pork buns.
I decided I should make my own since I don't eat pork. I was planning to fill them with tofu, carrots, and scallions. But guess what.
Couldn't find the dumpling wrappers.
So instead of making my own, I just bought some frozen ones that contain vegetables only and I steamed them at home.
I used a lightly oiled steamer in a pot of boiling water for about 5 minutes.
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Wish I could have made them myself but these will do. I arranged them nicely on a plate.
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RADISH
If you notice, there's a small bowl of pickles on the Universes' table. They are danmuji, pickled radish.
I reserved some from my sushi and chopped it in slices like we see in the illustration.
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Great!!
COMPLETE MEAL
In my attempt to earn the title of Most Over-Enthusiastic Steven Universe Fan, I set up my table to look very much like Greg and Steven's from the trip to Korea in "Steven's Dream"!
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I hope you like it!
And yes, it was all delicious!
See more SU food tutorials!
124 notes · View notes
Note
I would love for you to talk more indepth about the montage. To me it feels so off and weird. Almost like a parody? So many scenes in it are "funny" moments that just don't make sense in the context of an emotional overview of the road so far... (Like all the scenes where Dean is eating, Donna with donut dust on her face, Sam getting hit during the game show.) I don't know. Isn't the montage supposed to make me nostalgic, teary-eyed? This one definitely doesn't do it for me!
Here I am! Yes, I absolutely agree. The montage is Weird(TM). It’s kind of a tone rollercoaster. It’s very full of funny/silly moments, with some serious moments smacked in. And it definitely looks like... there’s something about it.
For an easier consultation I will reference the gifs I have made of the montage sequence here.
[Gif 1] It starts pretty much like I’d expect a Supernatural goodbye montage to start. The two brothers meeting for the first time in the pilot, a reminder of their childhood with John, their banter still from the pilot, a couple moments of them driving in the car in the first seasons, Dean saving Lucas in 1x03 which is the first Dean-heavy episode and also an extremely symbolic moment for Dean’s entire journey - just think at how Lucas as a mirror was still relevent during the “drowning” Michael possession arc. Everything feels normal so far. We’re starting from the beginning! Now--
[Gif 2] Interesting and weird choices start here. Them pretending to be high school teachers from After School Special 4x13 - actually a very iconic moment for the fandom, remember that post of Dean in shorts from that episode that you had to reblog when it came on your dash? (Actually I’m not sure if I ever reblogged it lol.) Dean celebrating getting young again from The Curious Case of Dean Winchester 5x07 (and Jensen showing off his agility). The two of them showing their FBI badges to Jesse Turner’s biological mother in 5x06. Dean mowing the lawn of Mary’s house in the Djinn dream and immediately after Jess and Sam kissing also in the Djinn dream, from What Is And What Should Never Be 2x20. Then Dean after killing the witch when he was under the memory loss spell, in Regarding Dean 12x11. Sam happy when they celebrate Christmas in A Very Supernatural Christmas 3x08. Them being “lucky” under the effect of the rabbit’s foot in Bad Day At Black Rock 3x03. Sam also happy in Baby 11x04.
Again the present, then the montage starts again with the water-related ghost from Red Sky At Morning 3x06, a Bela episode, and then Bela herself from her first episode, 3x03 again.
What do these moments have in common? Not all of them, but for many of them I’d say reality being manipulated. The Djinn dream, the rabbit foot, Dean’s aging, the Antichrist... and it’s not over yet. Also, them pretending to be teachers, agents etc - not “real”.
[Gif 3] The tone suddenly gets more serious and relevant to current events: Chuck in The Monster at the End of This Book 4x18 (eh). Death in Two Minutes to Midnight 5x21 (the first appearance of Death, while now we’ve had Billie’s last and a very short-lived new one), and then two major moments from Lazarus Rising - Dean emerging from the grave and finding the handprint on his shoulder. Crowley’s first episode, Abandon All Hope 5x10. Zachariah’s death in Point Of No Return 5x18. Anna from The Song Remains The Same 5x13, where she is the antagonist having been brainwashed successfully by heaven. Michael burning and Sam jumping in the cage with Michael in 5x22, then another moment from 4x01 (the brothers hugging after reuniting). A moment from The French Mistake 6x15 (reality fuckery again!). Sam in Frontierland 6x18.
[Gif 4] Reality fuckery continues with Becky marrying Sam in 7x08. Funnily enough, this is the peak of Becky’s obsessive behavior which she went to therapy for and grew away of - it definitely emphasizes how far Becky has come. Donna’s first appeance in 9x13. That iconic shot of Dean in Bloodlust 2x03 because he’s pretty. Charlie’s first appearance in 7x20 while she dances to Walking On Sunshine (relevant?), Kevin’s first appearance in 7x21 when he becomes a prophet (lots of firsts). Abaddon’s first appearance in As Time Goes By 8x12. Then there’s the first appearance of the bunker, in the next episode, a couple shots in fact. Then more 4x01, Ruby pretending to mistake Dean for the pizza man (eh). Then more present...
This section seems to be mostly “first appearances” - including Ruby’s s4 meatsuit, i.e. Genevieve’s first appearance.
[Gif 5] We suddenly jump to more recent events with Kelly and Jack in heaven in Byzanthium 4x08. Jack’s iconic hello from 4x16 Don’t Go In The Woods. Dean teaching Jack how to drive in 14x07 Unhuman Nature. But then we suddenly go from Jack things to something completely different on the surface: two consecutive moments from Changing Channels 5x08, including the iconic Nutcracker scene, and Sully from Just My Imagination. We are actually back to the previous theme: reality fuckery. Gabriel’s episode was about placing them in “television shows”, Sully, while real, is literally a child’s “imaginary friend”. And then... a moment from the cartoon part of Scoobynatural! It doesn’t get more reality fuckery than that. Oh, wait! Charlie and Dorothy going to Oz in 9x04. That’s a pretty strong contender. Dean being hit in the face by a fairy in 6x09 - also about a realm Dean briefly went to. And, in case we felt like we hadn’t gotten enough 4x01 yet, Pamela’s first appearance (her last, albeit a hallucination, was about the whole “How come you only want what you can't have?” thing).
[Gif 6] We continue again with a mixture of firsts and weird things. Ellen’s first appearance in 2x02, Dean and Cas in 4x18 (we saw Chuck from that episode earlier), Jody’s first appearance in 5x15 Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid. Rufus in 6x04 Weekend At Bobby’s (not his first but a good episode...), Garth in 9x12 Sharp Teeth (not his first but the first in which he is a werewolf and is married... relevant to recent lamp events??), Missouri in 1x09 (her first appearance).
Then Gabriel from 13x21 Beat The Devil (an episode where he plays a trick on Lucifer) and Rowena from the same scene (in fact a scene where they’re flirting).  Then Eileen coming back to life in 15x06 and smiling at Sam. Jo flirting with Dean in 2x02 - her first appearance, again. Funnily enough, she had been introduced as a love interest, but ended up being repurposed as a sisterly figure. Tempted to say it’s relevant in an ironic way. Mary in 14x11 Damaged Goods, when Dean has a goodbye mother-son moment with her. Amara in 11x09 Oh Brother Where Art Thou when she was looking for her brother. Then Lucifer in two different vessels (12x07 Rock Never Dies and 12x21, when Lucifer regains control over the vessel).
Then Metatron doing the find a wife make babies speech to Cas in 8x23! Relevant??? Dun dun dun. Then Ketch for some reason (the first episode where we see his face, 12x08 LOTUS).
[Gif 7] Then Jo/Anael in 13x13, another first appearance. (I cropped these horribly I should have cut them when the present happens lol.)
Sandwiched between two shots from the present, Dean Sam Mary and John having dinner together in 14x13 Lebanon.
Then we start again with Dean riding Larry in 12x11, Dean and Cas dressed as cowboys in 13x06 (mini pattern here...), Asmodeus with the archangel blade in 13x13 (insert meta about Asmodeus in Christian lore here), and the really intriguing “Intermission” shot from the play in 10x05.
[Gif 8] To continue a certain pattern we might be tempted to see, Dean eating piecake from 14x06 Optimism (an episode about a distorted version of romantic love), then Dean eating noodles from 10x13 Halt & Catch Fire (the ghost is a husband that passes on thanks to his wife). Dean after his dentistry session with Garth in 15x10. Meg from 6x10 Caged Heat (the episode with the pizza man porn). Dean and Sam investigating in 4x12 Criss Angel Is a Douchebag (an episode about growing old poorly). Crowley in 10x16 Paint It Black (that episode). Dean playing that game in 14x17 Game Night (the episode Cas calls for God, and when Mary dies - the one playing the game was God...). Sam and Dean getting out of the car in 13x05 when they visit the traumatized kid (peak mourning Dean episode...). Then we go into reality fuckery territory again with 14x15 Peace of Mind, Sam under the psychic’s control and Cas disgruntled about it.
[Gif 9] Mick Davies from 12x16 Ladies Drink Free, when he learnt a lesson about monsters. Dean geeking out about the Hatchet Man - so heavy with mirror significances - in 14x04 Mint Condition. Belphegor - Jack’s dark mirror - in 15x03 The Rupture, the break-up episode. Donna’s first episode again, this time Dean and she eating donuts. Dean, Sam and Mary hugging in 12x22 after the confrontation in Mary’s head. Kaia in 13x09 The Bad Place, when Jack uses her to find the way to where Mary is (Mary pattern?). Claire&co rescuing Jody and Donna in 13x10 Wayward Sisters. Dean in 1944 dresses as a sailor in 11x14 The Vessel. Baby nyooming in 15x11 The Gamblers...
Aaand more Changing Channels, the genital herpes ad. It’s almost like reality fuckery is a theme. Followed by Sam drinking the anti-cold concoction at Garth’s in 15x10 and the two of them outside the monster fighting pit in the same episode. Then Cas, Dean, Sam and Jack on a video call with Ketch in 14x09 The Spear when they talk about the egg to trap Michael.
[Gif 10] We stay in the same episode with the four of them heading to Michael. Then the four of them celebrating Jack’s return to life (after Cas’ deal with the Empty). More present, and then the iconic “we’ve got work to do” [trunk closes] moment from the pilot.
So: some of these moments seem like genuine moments you’ll want to put in a montage, but there’s a weird predominance of characters smiling and looking happy or goofy. It’s kind of... not exactly representative of the show as a whole, you know? There are moments that fit as, you know, iconic steps in the story, but surprisingly few, and many moments you’d expect to be in a “final” montage are blatantly not there. Several moments with, let’s put it like this, suspicious meta connotations. Moments that, well, we don’t know what happens in the finale yet, but smell like they might be relevant to future developments. (Metatron’s speech to newly human Cas anyone?)
What really strikes me is the amount of moments connected to reality being manipulated or distorted in some way. Lots of Changing Channels, fantasy elements of various kinds (the Djinn dream, Scoobynatural, Oz, the imaginary friend Becky’s wedding to Sam, the fairy, ...), them acquiring luck (s3) or losing it (s15), and so on. It’s almost like the sequence is telling us something...
Thoughts?
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snarktheater · 4 years ago
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Ready Player Two — Opening Cutscene & Chapter 0
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Hello again.
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It’s been a while. I haven’t been active on this blog since, fittingly enough, Ready Player One. I was going to do this sooner—even had an alarm set up and everything—but then, it turns out, I’m feeling so much negativity about the world in general that a book just pales in comparison.
Seriously, I had to scrap this post’s entire intro because it’s not even 2020 anymore as I write this. And you know, maybe that’s for the best. I’m not really in the mood for doom and gloom and bitching anymore. I uninstalled Twitter from my phone a while back, I’ve been doing good at my daily writing sprints, my biggest fanfic project concluded on a positive note from people I didn’t even realize had been following it for years.
So I don’t know what this is going to be like. My commentary, I mean; I’ve heard echoes of what the book is like, so I’m not expecting a surprise there.
The book opens right after the end of Ready Player One, in a “Cutscene” where Wade recounts to us what happened after he won Halliday’s contest. It also assumes you remember exactly who the main characters of the book are, which is a bold move for a sequel that came out almost a decade after the original.
Technically, I could just look up the details I’m fuzzy about. But also, I think it’s more authentic if I don’t. I trust my memory enough that if I’m wrong, it’ll be in subtle enough ways that it’ll almost be a private jokes between all of us. An “if you know, you know” sort of error system. And I don’t think there’s anything more true to the spirit of this book than that.
Shoto had flown back home to Japan to take over operations at GSS’s Hokkaido division.
So Wade starts his tenure with nepotism. Wasn’t Shoto really young? Why is he qualified to run anything?
Aech was enjoying an extended vacation in Senegal, a country she’d dreamed of visiting her whole life, because her ancestors had come from there.
You know what, I’m not touching “send the token black character back to Africa.” This isn’t my lane.
And Samantha had flown back to Vancouver to pack up her belongings and say goodbye to her grandmother, Evelyn.
Why is she saying goodbye? Why, she’s moving to Columbus to be with Wade, of course! It’s not like there was anything else in her life. Was there? And why isn’t she referred to as Art3mis? I’m pretty sure Wade found out all of their offline names in the last book, and the inconsistency mildly bothers me.
These three sentences are back to back, by the way. Someone—I forget who—once described Ready Player One as a book that’s fun to write a wiki about, because it’s got fun concepts to summarize about until you realize that all the emotional connective tissue you need to turn a list of things into a story is missing, and that’s roughly how this first page feels.
Hell, the first line of the book is Wade telling us he remained offline for nine whole days after winning the contest, but by the end of the second paragraph we’re already to him logging back into the OASIS to "distract himself from [his and Samantha’s] reunion.
I’ll give Ernest Cline one thing: it feels like he wrote this opening nine days after the first book and did about as much maturing as a teenage boy would do between the two books.
Way more time is spent describing Wade’s OASIS rig, or the in-game planet where the climax of the last book happened, than anything else in this introduction. He is immediately greeted by a crowd of adoring fans who have been waiting over a week for him to come back in the game, because they’re all grateful that our protagonist and his friends restored their avatars after they were annihilated by the Sixers.
You’d think the adoring fans would serve some kind of purpose, or that something would happen, but no. Wade immediately goes “ew, people” and teleports away, since he essentially has ultimate powers within the game. With a caveat: the powers are actually coming from the Robes of Anorak he’s wearing, and I’m mentioning that in the hopes that it will pay off sometime in the book’s future, assuming Cline at least learned to do that. But still, let’s not skip too fast the fact that we introduced that crowd of adoring fans for no other purpose than to tell us they’re out there, because it fits right in with the last book’s attempts at saying as little as humanly possible in as many words as possible.
Anyway, Wade went back into Anorak’s study, where he arbitrarily checks out the Easter Egg he got at the end of the last book, and finds an inscription on it. I was dreading another riddle, but no, it’s just straight-up instructions to a vault in the GSS archives, so Wade logs off and goes to check it out.
Of course Halliday had put [the archives] [on the 13th floor]. In one of his favorite TV shows, Max Headroom, Network 23’s hidden research-and-development lab was located on the thirteenth floor. And The Thirteenth Floor was also the title of an old sci-fi film about virtual reality, released in 1999, right on the heels of both The Matrix and eXistenZ.
I’m equally shocked that it took two whole pages (on my ereader) to get to the first slew of references, and that one of these references is from 1999. I didn’t know we were allowed to think of anything that isn’t the 80s. Speaking of which, I’ll spare you the whole paragraph, but the book does feel the need to explain why it’s vault 42.
Inside the vault, there’s another egg containing a super-fancy and advanced OASIS headset. The egg also has a video monitor that plays a video message from James Halliday shortly before his death.
But despite his condition, he hadn’t used his OASIS avatar to record this message like he had with Anorak’s Invitation. For some reason, he’d chosen to appear in the flesh this time, under the brutal, unforgiving light of reality.
That oh-so-important message? An infodump about the headset’s working. He called it an OASIS Neural Interface, ONI for short. It basically lets you experience the OASIS through all your senses with sensory input just like the real thing, you know, that thing Wade had to get a fancy suit and massive rig to do in the first book. And yes, Wade does spend a paragraph or two comparing it to other works of science fiction. Of course he does.
More importantly, it also records all the sensory input into a separate file, which can then be replayed over to re-experience said sensations, or live someone else’s experiences. Halliday tries to frame it as a tool to generate communication and empathy, seemingly all without acknowledging the potential creepiness of that. But hey. Who knows. Maybe that’s because this is the setup stage, and it’ll pay off eventually.
I also wondered about the name Halliday had chosen for his invention. I’d seen enough anime to know that oni was also a Japanese word for a giant horned demon from the pits of hell.
Add “reducing Japan to anime” to the list of things the book has failed to improve upon. By the way, the narration insisted on spelling out ONI letter by letter earlier, so it’s weird to make that link now. It’s also just kind of inelegant to just tell us “this is the symbolism behind the name”, but that’s just the sort of thing I’ve come to expect from this book.
Anyway, the reason Halliday kept this for his successor to find is he wants Wade to test out the technology and decide if humanity is ready for it. Why Halliday thinks the most glorified pop culture trivia / video game competition qualifies you for such a decision should be a problem, but sadly, a lot of billionaires have said and done a lot of dumb and eerily similar things in the past few years since I read Ready Player One, so actually, I can’t fault the book for that one. Tragically, our fates really are in the hands of people who should rightfully be cartoon villains.
To his credit, Wade does question Halliday’s motives in keeping this under wraps at all rather than releasing it himself. So hey, maybe it really is setting something up.
Wade goes back to his office with the ONI, and we’re treated with this lovely piece of narration:
I was grateful that Samantha wasn’t there. I didn’t want to give her the opportunity to talk me out of testing the ONI. Because I was worried she might try to, and if she did, she would’ve succeeded. (I’d recently discovered that when you’re madly in love with someone they can persuade you to do pretty much anything.)
There’s a lot to unpack about the implications this has for their relationship, but it’s way too early in the book for me to editorialize when one character hasn’t even been on the page yet. So I’ll just leave it here for the record. Hopefully you see the problem without me needing to point it out anyway. If not, feel free to hit my inbox.
So Wade, confident in the fact that Halliday would have warned him if there were any risks to using the ONI, decides to try it out. Even though he immediately follows up that statement with this:
According to the ONI documentation, forcibly removing the headset while it was in operation could severely damage the wearer’s brain and/or leave them in a permanent coma. So the titanium-reinforced safety bands made certain this couldn’t happen. I found this little detail comforting instead of unsettling. Riding in an automobile was risky, too, if you didn’t wear your seatbelt…
Wade. My dude. What the fuck is this simile. And why don’t you see that maybe a machine where you’re forcibly trapping yourself inside a virtual reality might be dangerous? Hell, when I said this was setting something up, I was expecting something vaguely interesting about the potential breach of privacy, or how you don’t need to literally walk in someone’s shoes to feel empathy for them, or anything substantial, but now I’m worried it’ll just end up as “man, sometimes science fiction machines will scramble your brain, isn’t that weird”?
Like, I don’t know, to me “it will put you in a coma” sounds like a good reason for Halliday not to release the ONI. Maybe we can still make it into a commentary on how corporations will sell stuff they know is directly harmful if it can make them a profit. Who knows.
The book waffles on about more risks, and the mechanics of how the ONI activates, and the warning disclaimer when it does turn on. Specifically, there’s a time limit of twelve consecutive hours, after which you’ll be automatically logged out, because yes, using the thing for too long can also cause brain damage.
Gregarious Simulation Systems will not be held responsible for any injuries caused by improper use of the OASIS Neural Interface.
See, now there’s the sort of thing that could be a source for commentary, but no, instead it’s thrown in there like it’s nothing and Wade glosses over the entire warning, and instead keep wondering why Halliday didn’t just release the ONI if even the safety disclaimers were in place.
By the way: this whole system has apparently gone through several independent human trials already, so I’m finding it hard to imagine that it’s actually a secret Halliday took to the grave as Wade says. Unless he also had everyone involved in those trials killed afterwards. Or maybe they all ended up with brain damage which rendered them incapable of talking about it.
And before you think I’m being unfair and maybe we’re supposed to understand that ourselves even if the protagonist doesn’t, I’ll remind you that the book didn’t trust its reader to know what the number 42 is a reference to, or what an oni is, even though I don’t think anyone in the target audience wouldn’t know about these two things.
There’s also the fact that, since this book came out, a video game did release with a scene intentionally designed to cause seizures, and it had countless fans flocking to defend it over that fact. So you’ll have to excuse me if I’m not assuming this book’s stance on whether your video game console causes brain damage and possibly coma is actually a bad thing, or just an acceptable risk.
Wade certainly seems to think so, since he agrees to the terms of service.
As the timestamp faded away, it was replaced by a short message, just three words long—the last thing I would see before I left the real world and entered the virtual one. But they weren’t the three words I was used to seeing. I—like every other ONI user to come—was greeted by a new message Halliday had created, to welcome those visitors who had adopted his new technology: READY PLAYER TWO
Well now that’s just silly.
And that’s our opening cutscene. And while this post is already long enough, I feel like I have to go on to chapter 0, because it feels like barely anything has happened so far. We didn’t even introduce any new character motivation or conflict, or a mystery to set the plot into motion, unless I’m supposed to think “why didn’t Halliday release this?” counts.
So Wade is back into the OASIS, and tells us about how much more real it all feels thanks to the ONI. I especially have to question how he can smell or taste anything—both of which he tells us he can. Like, who coded that? Did Halliday implement every single smell and taste himself, without anyone noticing? I hope you don’t need me to tell you that’s not typically how features are added to a large-scale video game.
If it feels like I’m nitpicking at the logic of the book, even though I always say I’m not very interested in that and would rather talk themes, it’s because I am, because there isn’t much else to discuss so far. Wade is happy about tasting virtual fruit. That’s the scene.
He tests out if he can feel pain, but no, the ONI reduces pain (a gunshot is translated as “a hard pinch”). On one hand, good, it would be a nightmare otherwise. On the other hand, I sort of hope there’s a setting for that in there, because otherwise, you just lost an entire clientele of kinksters.
This was it—the final, inevitable step in the evolution of videogames and virtual reality. The simulation had now become indistinguishable from real life.
Ah, now we have some juicy themes. Because if you think this is the inevitable final step in the evolution of video games, I invite you to look at literally any other art form, and what happened to them once hyperrealism became easy. Hint: they didn’t stop evolving, because it turns out realism isn’t the only goal one can achieve with art.
The realism discussion is not a new one in video games, mind you. In case you’re out of the loop: most of the big-budget blockbuster games (“AAA” as they’re known) are aiming for hyperrealism nowadays, and it results in development teams being forced to work in horrible conditions (known with the equally horrible euphemism of “crunch”). And, because it turns out that 1) humans working themselves to the bones isn’t healthy and 2) racing for realism with little to no vision besides it makes for poor creativity, a lot of these games come out as disappointments. Oh, there are hordes of Gamers™ who will defend them to the bitter end, but inevitably, in the months following release, the defense cools off while the criticism keeps on going, because the defense was a knee-jerk reaction born of a mix of people hyping themselves up for a game they hadn’t seen that much of yet, then attaching a part of their identity to liking that thing.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that this throwaway line feels like it comes from someone who is so out of touch as to accidentally support a world view that has in fact resulted in the biggest part of the industry stagnating artistically while growing more toxic for the people working in it. All the while, more and more independent games come out every year, proving that that realism is nowhere near the most important thing to making a game good, and that you can achieve much better results with a small team.
What I’m trying to say is: watch Jim Sterling’s channel, they’ve been bleeding out subscribers since they came out as nonbinary and make much better commentary on this topic than I could, and play Hades.
Back to the book, which sadly hasn’t become any more interesting since I decided to go on a tangent. Wade tests the ONI functions some more, all the while musing on how he knows Samantha would disapprove but that he doesn’t care, because what loving relationship doesn’t consist of that?
Among the functions, he tries the ONI files, the aforementioned recordings of someone else’s experiences. Specifically, a woman, which Wade tells us by telling us he suddenly has breasts, I suppose because Ernest Cline saw that subreddit about men writing women and went “I want a piece of that”. Oh, and also, those sample files were recorded from real people, in the real world. And yes, this goes exactly where you think it does.
SEX-M-F.oni, SEX-F-F.oni, and SEX-Nonbinary.oni
Look, I actually started writing a complaint about the boobs thing, and I deleted it, but now Cline is doing it on purpose. So, here goes: I saw a quote from this book on Twitter that looked like Cline attempting to make up for Wade’s casual transphobia in the first book. It wasn’t good, but it at least sounded like he was trying. So to immediately get this is…a lot? Let’s go for a lot.
I can almost excuse the use of “M” and “F”. You gotta name your files and you could excuse a non-exhaustive list. But…nonbinary? On one hand, I want to know what Cline means. On the other hand, I don’t think he can come up with an answer I’ll find satisfactory.
We are thankfully spared from finding out because Wade has just lost his virginity to Samantha a few days ago and he’s 1) not ready for this and 2) pretty sure this counts as cheating. You could make a case that this is more like porn, but I can see that this is more of a personal distinction anyway, and I can respect that one. Plus, you know. I don’t want to find out.
Wade logs off, and he can’t tell the difference between the OASIS with the ONI, and decides this will change the world. And then it’s back to the “how did he do it and keep it a secret”, even though Wade now finds out in the documentation that this had been in development for twenty-five years, basically since the OASIS launched. So it’s not really that it’s a secret, so much as there are a lot of people under very strict NDAs out there. Or, again, they’re all dead and/or otherwise incapacitated.
The ONI is the product of the Accessibility Research Lab, and Wade tells us about other stuff that the lab has produced using similar technology, mostly for medical purposes.
GSS patented each of the Accessibility Research Lab’s inventions, but Halliday never made any effort to profit from them. Instead, he set up a program to give these neuroprosthetic implants away, to any OASIS users who could benefit from them. GSS even subsidized the cost of their implant surgery.
Look, it’s nice that you want Halliday to be the good guy through and through, but it’s kind of hard to take any social commentary seriously when you think this is how a billionaire is made. Hell, even when he shut down the lab and fired its entire staff, he gave them a big enough severance package to set them for life. You know. Capitalism!
Hey, remember when Samantha said she was going to end world hunger if she won the contest, a thing billionaires right now could be doing, but aren’t, and she is now the co-owner of GSS? Yeah, I kind of hope the book remembers that too.
Speaking of the co-owners, the book just completely skips over the debate that our four main characters have over whether or not to release the ONI to the world. All we know is that they voted, and the vote goes in favor of releasing it. I mean, why have characters who could have opinions and feelings that could create a discussion? That might make us care about them! And who wants to care about characters in a story?
We put them on sale at the lowest possible price, to make sure as many people as possible could experience the OASIS Neural Interface for themselves.
What exactly is “the lowest possible price” here? Your company literally owns money. Like, OASIS money is real money. There is literally nothing stopping you from giving them away, especially because what you’re giving away is access to the platform you’re already running for a profit.
It’s almost like, even trying to make “good billionaires” out of its protagonists, the book can’t stop and actually make them significantly good.
Oh, I should mention. If you thought my Ready Player One review was angry at capitalism, wait until you see what the past couple years have done to me.
Anyway, once they his 7,777,777 simultaneous ONI users, a new riddle shows up on Halliday’s website. Because yep: our plot is apparently not about the implications of releasing the ONI, or any of the potential ideological discussions associated with that, it’s another riddle. Oh boy, do I wish I’d known that.
Seek the Seven Shards of the Siren’s Soul On the seven worlds where the Siren once played a role For each fragment my heir must pay a toll To once again make the Siren whole
I cannot wait to have the book give me just not enough information to solve the riddle until it’s solved by the book itself. That was so much fun the other…what was it, five times? Six times? Something like that. Wade already tells us the Siren might be Kira Morrow, because her alias was named after one of the sirens of Greek myth, so I can’t wait for that plot point to stick around. It was so fun to hear all about this man pining for another man’s wife the first time!
So this is the “Shard Riddle”. People are apparently convinced it was made by Wade and his crew as a publicity stunt, but of course, they know that that isn’t the case, and they also don’t know what that riddle is supposed to lead to. So, that’s great. We have a puzzle, and we also don’t know what the stakes are. All we know is that Wade wants to solve the puzzle essentially because it’s a challenge.
We skip over a year, and Wade tells us about how IOI collapses and gets absorbed by GSS because of the ONI’s launch. Remember IOI? They were the bad guys, so I guess we have to cheer?
GSS absorbed IOI and all of its assets, transforming us into an unstoppable megacorporation with a global monopoly on the world’s most popular entertainment, education, and communications platform.To celebrate, we released all of IOI’s indentured servants and forgave their outstanding debts.
On one hand: good for the slave. On the other hand: not gonna cheer for a monopoly, you guys.
Another year’s skip, and now 99% of the OASIS users are using the ONI, and yes, that includes trading their experiences with one another too. And I guess we’re still hand-waving any possible problems associated with that technology, because the technology is made so that all recordings must be shared and played through the OASIS.
This allowed us to weed out unsavory or illegal recordings before they could be shared with other users.
How? Do you know any of the problems associated with content moderations on the current platforms? I don’t know if I want to point to Youtube’s extremely faulty algorithm, Twitter’s complete apathy towards its Nazis, or Facebook doing moderation by making underpaid staff watch all potentially problematic content, which resulted in serious psychological damage to said staff.
You can’t just say that as if it solved everything. The chapter later says this is handled by an AI called “CenSoft”, and as an AI engineer myself, let me tell you: this is not going to work. Again: Youtube is the way it is for a reason.
It also let us maintain our monopoly on what was rapidly becoming the most popular form of entertainment in the history of the world.
And again, monopolies are totally a good thing as long as it’s in the right hands!
When I’m implying that the book does not care for any of these potential problems, I mean it. These enormous ethical issues are sidestepped in cold narratin, and we just keep going on introducing new slang that I hate, but have to quote so help you keep up.
“Sims” were recordings made inside the OASIS, and “Recs” were ONI recordings made in reality. Except that most kids no longer referred to it as “reality.” They called it “the Earl.” (A term derived from the initialism IRL.) And “Ito” was slang for “in the OASIS.” So Recs were recorded in the Earl, and Sims were created Ito.
There. You have been infodumped.
In the midst of all this (still extremely dry) exposition about how this changed media, we also get this tidbit:
You could take any drug, eat any kind of food, and have any kind of sex, without worrying about addiction, calories, or consequences.
Now, I was going to rant about this, but then, a page later, this happens and spares me the trouble:
I’d struggled with OASIS addiction before the ONI was released. Now logging on to the simulation was like mainlining some sort of chemically engineered superheroin.
So, you are aware that addiction isn’t just possible, but extremely facilitated by this. But sure, no worries! It’s perfectly safe! Because our protagonists are good.
Also, remember how the last book ended on a weak attempt at having a moral that maybe the real world is good, actually? Yeah, Wade tells us the ONI helps poor people live enjoyable lives in the OASIS. So. Fuck that message, I guess. It only applies if you’re the literal wealthiest man on Earth.
And me? All my dreams had come true. I’d gotten stupidly rich and absurdly famous. I’d fallen in love with my dream girl and she had fallen in love with me. Surely I was happy, right? Not so much, as this account will show.
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Aside from the aforementioned returning OASIS affiction, there’s the Shard riddle that Wade is now obsessed with, to the point of offering a billion-dollar reward to anyone with information about the riddle’s answer.
I announced this reward with a stylized short film that I modeled after Anorak’s Invitation. I hoped it would seem like a lighthearted play on Halliday’s contest instead of a desperate cry for help. It seemed to work.
On one hand: good, Wade finally has a character flaw that the book actually acknowledges as a character flaw. I can work with that. On the other hand: this is all told to me in such a dispassionate that I am dreading how the book will handle this character flaw. Which is to say, I’m not expecting it to be very good.
(For a brief time, some of the younger, more idealistic shard hunters referred to themselves as “shunters” to differentiate themselves from their elder counterparts. But when everyone began to call them “sharters” instead, they changed their minds and started to call themselves gunters too. The moniker still fit. The Seven Shards were Easter eggs hidden by Halliday, and we were all hunting for them.)
Especially when this is something the narration feels is more important to tell me about.
Anyway, skip another year, and a gunter finally leads Wade to the First Shard. Solved that riddle, I guess. And wait, wasn’t part of why IOI was ~evil~ in the first book that they were paying people to find the Easter Egg for them? How is this any different, Wade?
And when I picked it up, I set in motion a series of events that would drastically alter the fate of the human race. As one of the only eyewitnesses to these historic events, I feel obligated to give my own written account of what occurred. So that future generations—if there are any—will have all the facts at their disposal when they decide how to judge my actions.
And that is the end of our chapter 0. And can I just say: what a mess already. I don’t think my snark can properly convey how utterly devoid of emotion this book’s writing is, and that alone is honestly more of a turn-off than anything else in the book so far. Even, knowing that I railed about it in the first book, I still feel newly unprepared for it. And it’s not like this double-prologue is making me hopeful that the book will show an ounce more critical thinking—or decent fucking humanity towards marginalized groups—as its predecessor.
So, that’s a lot to look forward to! For the sake of my sanity and schedule, don’t expect me to do such big posts every time. I’ll probably do one chapter a week from now on, if that. We’re in for a long ride, but I hope it’s worth it, at least.
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sophiexteresa · 4 years ago
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Thomas Sanders Instagram Q&A Transcript
From @thatsthat24’s Instagram story, 25/8/2020. Questions in bold. Text added to the story in (parenthesis/brackets), and descriptive info in *italics*. I tried uploading the video(s) too, but Tumblr is having issues, so here’s the transcript only! 
Thomas: I had some time this evening so I figured, hey, why not? Another lil’ Q an’ A, so if you want to ask a question *posh French voice* be my guest!
When approximately will the next sanders sides be out? Very good question! Uh, we are aiming this for a late September release, that’s what we’re all working towards.
Favourite musical you have been in or just favourite musical in general? This is really tough, I can’t decide. I’m between Rent where I was in the ensemble, Peter Pan where I played Slightly Soiled, which was just one of the lost boyos — boyos? Boys — and, uh, Into The Woods where I played Cinderella’s prince and that’s where Roman’s first costume came from.
Are you ever gonna due your hair purple again? I loved it! Yes! I miss the purple hair too.
Do you love me? *laughing* Yes of course! I do love me.
What would each of the sides’ reaction be to seeing the Grand Canyon? *speaking very quickly* Roman would be revelling that we made the journey, Patton would be marvelling at the memories being made, Logan would be telling you to look at these fascinating signs for important information, Virgil would be telling you to ‘get back from those cliffs!’, Janus would be telling you to take pictures to make it look like you’re next to the cliff, ‘for clout’, and Remus would be like *Remus voice* ‘you could push somebody and get away with it’.
Also when will we get more Picani, I miss him? You and me both, Bri, and honestly with the amount of amazing cartoons that have come out recently *sighs while smiling* yeah, I am a-hankering (?) to get back to Emile!
How have you been doing, like really? Mental health is important as you teach us: I feel like everybody’s kinda struggling with mental health right now, especially people in the USA with COVID. Uhm *clears throat* for me I continuously struggle with the balance between work and leisure time, um, social media makes that difficult, blurs the lines, and I’m working on it.
Do you have any tattoos? Umm, I don’t, uh, I struggle with the permanence of tattoos. And like do I, can I, make a decision that I like? But! There are tattoos that I might like. Where I’d put them, I have no idea, umm, but I think like, maybe like, little stars!
What rank of “Gay” are you? Big gay? What rank? *speechless pause* uh... General. You know? I wanna do my duty. Come back a hero. An all-American Queero *gets an idea* *roughly quoting Hamilton* Queer comes the General!
Can you please make Logan day something Patton would say? *Logan’s voice* Something Patton would say? Umm... please, I request more baked goods from the kitchen so that I can fill Thomas’s body with more trans-fats at 3 am. I don’t know, I don’t like this game.
Have you ever dated a girl? *awkward silence* I have. It was pretty uneventful.
Do you miss your friends? *laughs* Oh... *face crumples as if he’s about to cry*
What are you voice acting in or are you now allowed to say? Not until tomorrow.
When did you know you were gay? I think I answered this one on the last Q&A, but it was early. I was like, 9 or 10 at least.
When will we see Gavin? Gavin has started school! He’s back in his hometown, so I don’t know when I’m gonna see him. He’s still getting taller — I can actually include a picture of him that his mom sent me after he got a new little hairdo *insert photo of an awesome Gavin here*
Do you miss vine? For like, sentimental reasons, yes. Uh, I mean, technically it had its issues and I don’t miss being restricted to 6 seconds anymore *laughs*
What has been your favourite part of the day? My favourite part of today was actually... I came up with this last minute short video, and I got it done and I sent it to some friends and they really liked it. I have to save it until Thursday thought, but it’s just nice to come up with stuff that makes your friends laugh.
Janus acting like Remus? *Remus’ voice* Remus here! Looks like the Dukey just dropped in! *Remus’ laugh* *Takes a breath and snaps into Janus’ character* I spend a lot of time with him so I’ve had a lot of practise.
Why do I feel like we’re gonna have another angsty Virgil moment? When is Virgil not being angsty...?
Please can you say trans rights? Uh, heck yah trans rights! I, uh, this one was very simple but I wanted to say it!
Do you think Virgil would be into anime? Actually, if you remember from, uh, Accepting Anxiety, uh, part 2, there’s actually a Death Note poster in his room, so he definitely likes some anime.
Hi! Can you say hola to the Hispanic fanders in el vecindario fander? Please? We love you! Oh my gosh, *a very naturally american pronunciation* hola! that’s very kind of you guys. I appreciate all of the support you guys give, and I love all of you guys. 
STORYTIME! I love you: *upbeat voice* Storytime! I love you back.
How gay are you? Like, 15 gay! I rank General! 
How did you end up meeting and babysitting Gavin? Gavin is actually Leo’s nephew, so he would come up here, uh, during the holidays or during the summer, and alternate being baby-sat between me and Leo’s mom - his grandma.
What was the inspo for Janus’ outfit? Ooh, that’s a really good question, uh... Joan had a vision in their mind for almost kind of like this early 20th century or late 19th century kinda Jack the Ripper vibe.
Any advice for gaybies to fit in with society? Don’t apologise for being yourself. If people have an issue, that’s their issue that they have to work through. Do not apologise for being yourself. 
What type of gay are you? (Math gay, plant gay, caffine gay, etc): Wait, there’s such thing as a math gay? I am absolutely that, and I feel like I’m just gonna be naming traits about myself but I’m a trivia gay, a driving gay, apparently a math gay, a Disney gay *laughs* and a theatre gay.
Not a question but I’m glad to be alive at the same time as someone as great as you: Dude, this stuff is really sweet. *laughs* That’s really sweet, umm, trust me, I feel the same way about all of you. Honestly.
Why don’t you own a doggo yet? I... went to Petsmart today - I didn’t get an animal, but like... I’m thinking about it and this question is like... hmmm...
I’ve run out of cartoons to watch, any recommendations? Owl house! Owl house, owl house. I just tried it, and I immediately got hooked. Infinity train’s also a really good one, duck tales is amazing, and I’m getting ready to start Tangled: the animated series, so *shrugs*.
What is Patton’s opinion on rats? *adorable Patton voice, slowly zooming in on his face* They are tiny little squishy precious babies!!!
How do I ask people for their pronouns? I don’t know, I mean, I don’t think it’s like a big deal? I hope we could get to the point where we could just be like ‘what are your pronouns?’ and then they would tell you, and then you’d just, you know, carry on the rest of your conversation. 
A circle has no bounds and it’s the same with your beauty: This is really precious, and it of course came from Nash (?) who is a poet, he published a lot of wonderful, wonderful poems on twitter, they are are amazing, and you are once again far too sweet, Nash. 
Dream role? This is a pretty broad question, so maybe dream theatrical role would be Sweeny Todd, dream movie role would be anything in the marvel universe, uh, really just give me anything in any voice acting role, *smiling mischievously* egg rolls are also really good.
Can Remus please say ‘I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand’? *Remus voice* I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand! (love that vine)
Are there still plans for the Roman series? *nods* Oh, yeah, yeah, it was definitely hindered by COVID, uh, as was this Sanders Asides episode that’s coming up, which is why it’s taking longer in the editing stage, it is our, uh... strategy, for circumventing the obstacle, and we hope you like it.
Are we still getting an August playlist? Uh, heck yah you are! But honestly, actually, if you guys have any suggestions I should include in the playlist, lemme know! I’d be happy to get some suggestions - but yes. You will be definitely getting one.
May I please see your feet? *confused, slightly disgusted expression* *begins to move the camera away from his face* *holds up a tape measure, extended to 1 foot long* *grins*
Any shows on Netflix to recommend? Umbrella Academy is really good, Dragon Prince, uh, She-Ra, of course, umm The Hollow (?) is really cool, there’s a documentary about video games called High Score, that was really fun.
Roman, who would you say the gayest side is? *Roman’s voice* Oh, we’re all equally gay, okay? *chuckles* it’s a sexuality, not a personality trait. *takes a breath and speaks quickly* I’m just kidding it’s *sings* meeeeee!
If you were not a YouTuber, what would you see yourself doing and why? Uh, maybe putting my chemical engineering degree to some use. *laughs awkwardly* Uh, I went to school for 5 years for that one.
Like you literally make me so flipping happy: I’m glad! I don’t know what I’m doing to do that, but the feeling is absolutely mutual. 
Can we have Virgil saying “Falsehood”? *hair already over one eye, in Virgil’s voice* Uh, c’mon, okay, sure. *very quietly and unenthusiastically* falsehood. Is that good? Is that? I don’t know, I don’t wanna steal his bit.
Which Sanders Side do you feel you embody most? Ah, I would probably say it’s either Patton or Roman because Patton can be definitely me, all the time, just really enthusiastic about things and finding things cute, but Roman... Roman’s sensitivity, oh. That’s me. 
What was the first job you had? I actually worked as a page in a library! A- pages basically just kinda like, shelve books, check books out; it’s one of the chillest jobs I’ve ever had, one of my favourites, and my dad always had a lovely dad joke for it: ‘you’re working as a page, when do you get promoted to a book?’
How tall are you? I usually say 5ft 10, but I think I’m trying to be a little more realistic with myself. And I’m probably 5ft 9 and a half. *zooms in on his face, staring into the camera* I’m holding onto that half a foot for all dear life. 
DROP THE SKIN ROUTINE PLEASE! This is very sweet, uh, I, *laughs nervously*, uh, I use Curology? They’re very nice. Umm, just... different kinds of lotion, I guess. (I suppose I should write down what I do lol)
Can we get a FALSEHOOD? *is standing* *clears throat* *points upwards from his eyeline* FALSEHOOD! 
Do you have a boyfriend if not are you planning on dating soon? I do not, uh, dating is kinda difficult right now midst COVID, you know, kinda tough... love... in the time of Corona... umm, but, you know, option’s open.
When was your first kiss? I’m sure I’ve answered this somewhere, it was in high school, I might have been 15 or 16. It was with a girl. *Shakes head* And all I can remember is hitting teeth. A lot.
Can we get a super super vague hint about the new Asides episode?  Alright, I’m getting ready to end the Q&A, so this, you know, if you’ve made it so far you deserve this super vague answer, umm... it includes a side that was not in the last episode. (This isn’t much, I apologise lol)
Thomas: And that is it for this evening! Thank you so much, you guys, for watching. I know some of you are still over in Europe watching and it’s like 4 in the morning, and I need to go to bed so thank you all so much for your questions - I gotta do this more often ‘cause I really enjoy it. Love you guys, gals, and non-binary pals. Peace out!
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elysicndrcvm · 4 years ago
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━♡ guess the 23 YEAR OLD FEBRUARY baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because CHU EUNHA is just as BEDAZZLING as the month of FEBRUARY. wait, why do they remind me of JACOB BAE? beyond that, they seemed JOYOUS and SAVVY upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of DELICATE and QUIXOTIC though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX 1 / APARTMENT 0215 / FLOOR 3 ; HE seem(s) to have a lot going on with HIS job as a PATISSERIE OWNER/NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE STUDENT. ( ez, 21, she/they, gmt. )
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     well hey there !! im ez but you fellow dallyeogers can call me ezzy, i have been in dallyeog before so some may remember me as having someone v different to my new bb i bring u now, i joined before with miss tam carmen !! anygays i return with this lil angel who i am all ‘ i say that’s my baby and i’m proud ’ over already even tho i literally came up with him like two days ago. you can find his pinboard here ( which btw i fuckeN love like he’s so aesthetic to me u go king ) and i made him a lil playlist which u can vibe to here. you can learn more about him under the cut but he’s a super soft-hearted gentle dove of a muse and quite...simple for me ?? sdhdh that’s not the right wording but U GET IT djjflg he isn’t super full of angst or trauma he’s just kinda viBIN livin his best life so that’s fun !! but ye without further ado: 
so as u kno from his app he owns a patisserie, it’s his lil babey and he is very dedicated to his craft and makin sure all his ideas for the place and the baked goods he sells are like rlly quirky and avant-garde. like he is so passionate about it u dont even KNOW, he tries to make sure most of the stuff on his menu is something like fun and new u wouldn’t get at just any old patisserie or cafe and that it’s super varied and also kinda aesthetic af? the place is very like trendy. it’s called patisserie d’elysian cause ya know he’s an extra biTCHH and proud.
he has three pupperino’s. all as adorable as each other, snickerdoodle is his golden lab and often ppl shorten it down to snickers, butterscotch is his dapple daschund pup, shortens the name to scotchie often. toulouse is his fancy toy poodle boi, shortens the name down as toto. if u are on the shortened name basis with his pups then u can consider urself one of his close pals. 
he’s actually adopted by his aunt but she raised him like she was his mother so that is what he considers her, she’s on his mother’s side but they are half-siblings. in terms of first name reasoning as well she just liked eunha as a name and didn’t even think about how it is traditionally for a female, she liked that it meant gift from heaven so it stuck. his father is still around, he’s just quite elderly so it felt like a better living situation for him to be raised primarily by his auntie. unfortunately his mother has passed on but no tragic story, she just went peacefully in old age. 
he dyes his hair quite often, it’s currently like a really pastel blue with black streaks consistently throughout like lil ones so it looks super cool. but he’s also had it be a more electric blue, lilac, and a duck egg kinda faded silvery blue. it’s naturally dark brunette. has brown eyes kind of a hazel hue. 
his style is kinda androgynous ig?? he just lives for soft retro fashion, lots of color in his wardrobe but also lots of tapered short and t-shirt fits frequented, sweater vests, rolled up jeans, high skater boi socks, soft jumpers with shirts, shirts in bright colours or satiny texture worn over plain white t-shirts, cardigans, pastel denim jackets, jeans with printed patterns on like clouds, flowers etc, favors yellow and blues. sometimes does eye makeup, occasionally wears heels bc he’s a baddie or super heeled boots/chunky shoes. 
obsessed with music, can play violin and guitar. he’s a big mitski and rina sawayama fanatic, likes anything that sounds peaceful or calming or has like a good fun vibe to it. also likes the trademark gay icons like carly rae jepsen, lorde, etc. he’s not ashamed. obsessed with mamma mia movies. but also likes rap which is rlly funny cause its like the bad bitch female rappers only and like he’ll listen to it while arranging his sock drawer or making his bed or something ajdjdj it’s like hype anthems for being a baddie and a hoe and he’s just doing his night sleepy routine adkfkf. 
showers, blankets, music, baked goods especially bagels are his happy places. 
very much a sensitive lil romanticist, falls in ‘love’ like five times a day, he just likes to giggle and smile around pretty people and admire the artwork hnghdh, he’s like yeARNS though ya know?? like he’s all i will flirt by making prolonged eye contact, i made you a playlist, this song makes me think of you etc. it’s either memes as flirting with him or elaborate love letters u never know what ur gonna get akdkd. 
awful sense of humour, loves his friends more than anything on earth except his pups, would fully live in a huge house of just like his pups and all his closest buds for all eternity. likes fruits way too much, enjoys puns about fruits way too much. milkshakes, sushi, orange hues and bus rides are some of his absolute favorite simple pleasures of life. clouds, flowers, salt lamps, the sunrise over the sea, skateboarding, fresh soda, teddy bears, busy street markets, parasols, fish tanks with exotic fish, sorbet, bike riding, polaroids, record players, rain at night against floor to ceiling windows with a fresh steaming pot of tea on the desk beside it and warm fresh sheets from the laundry on his bed, ponds, skateboarding. all little joys in life that give him like the biggest pleasure dopamine hit in the world. 
his cousin actually owns a florists so he has flowers just littering his apartment like a lot and it just looks like he has ten million suitors from the late eighteenth century attempting to court him but no all these flowers are from him to him or worse from his aunt djfjg she sends him some for valentines every valentines, pls help him, pls send him flowers. 
studies nutritional science and he fucken hates it. do not ask him shit cause he doesn’t KNOW OKAY? he doesn’t understand it either. he took it because he needed something to go alongside the passion for baking that was a real ‘qualification’/job so that is the only reason he’s doing it. no point doing a baking degree after all when he’s already a baker with a business, he’s super young still he gotta keep his prospects open. so YAH. he’d rather be doing culinary arts but eh. nutritional science sounded better and more logic based. the real miracle is he still gets top grades all the time even tho he spends his life like wtf am i even doing is this even legit akdkdk. school is the worst thing in the world for him watch his mood instantly deflate the second its brought up. 
despite being a quixotic, he’s a lil afraid of intimacy. like oh god does he love it, those small touches and acts of affection u kno? the subtle things that normally go unnoticed, eye contact, brushing of hands, linking of little fingers, rubbing a thumb, kissing eyelids or foreheads or palms or shoulders in little gentle pecks, back massages and rubs or finger tracing patterns absent-minded, shoulder massages, laying your head on someone’s shoulder or on their lap, knocking knees together, exchanging a small glance only the two of you get before bursting into laughter, smiling into kisses, napping together, having blankets placed over you warm and fresh, or towels put ready like it, someone making you something they know you like a lot. that’s his sHIT. but like he’s terrified still, someone skimming their fingers on his skin makes his breath hitch like he’s a scandalized and alarmingly aroused victorian woman sjdjd. he’s literally still a virgin, he hasn’t even had his first kiss okay my baby is delicate be gentle with him akdkd but he still LIKES PASSION AIGHT kfkf. 
real soft spoken, honey tinted voice like i shit u not this boy talks like he’s an angel sent from heavens above to guide you to the paradisaical garden of eden or some shit akdkd. ur gonna fall in love with eunha’s voice before u even fall in love with any other part of him like his adorable beaming smile or stunning eyes akdkf. 
has dance parties around his room when getting ready in the morning, listens to bella’s lullaby unironically yes from twilight yes u heard right, bit of a himbo streak sometimes in his obliviousness djfjf. quite silently subtly funny actually much like jacob himself. 
he is gay, afraid of driving, cannot do math, blanks out often and he is valid for all of those things. has a collection of cartoon and disney animal movie dvds. has a dream notebook. always has blue painted nails in some kinda shade. 
does not enjoy turning in assignments bc he is scared he’ll fail, avoids looking at his grades for weeks after they’re released and hates knowing that they’re out. 
cannot dance, dances often. collects vintage stuff esp clothes and mostly sweaters. likes midnight trips to corner stores and fields where he can just lay and look at the stars. makes friends rlly easily but has super bad performance anxiety. cannot ever have a messy room like even the tiniest bit messy. even like clothes being stacked on a chair instead of away. 
bakes peanut butter, banana and choc chip muffins (they r called monkey bites normally) whenever he’s super stressed. if u want to cheer him up when he’s anxious or stressed then u should give him french lavender honey, chia seeds and caramelized pear on toast/bagel. it is his comfort food. he fancii when he needs a pick me up. treat urself and all that. 
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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago
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Survey #343
“i slither like a viper and get you by the neck  /  i know a thousand ways to help you forget about her”
What's your favorite kind of bear? I don't really know. I just like bears. Have you ever sent a FWD because you were afraid? Ha, yup, as a little kid. Would you ever date more than one person at a time? Nooooo sir. Have you ever rebounded... or been someone's rebound? No. What’s the biggest argument you’ve ever had with a family member? Did things ever go back to how they were beforehand? My grandmother cursed me the fuuuuck out one night as a kid because I was in a mood and didn't tell my mother goodnight. I still remember being called an ungrateful bitch with her like an inch from my face, and admittedly, I was being rude because I wanted to go home, but it kinda scarred me for life. For the remainder of her life, I was always sort of on edge around her and was convinced she didn't like me. Have you ever experienced some kind of natural disaster? I've been through lots of hurricanes. None that massively affected my life, though. If you have pets, do you feed them human food or do they just get regular pet food? If they do get human food, what’s their favorite thing to have? Venus is a snake, so she obviously doesn't get food meant for humans. Roman is very well-trained to not beg or make a move for people's food; he tried once as a kitten, and giving him a pop taught him right away. Have you ever been in a physical fight? Who won? No. What’s the mode of transport that you take or use the most? The car. Mom's, specifically. Have you ever had a zoo keeper experience or anything where you’ve been able to go behind the scenes and look after/feed the animals? No, but I wish. :( Would you ever want the responsibility of being a politician or a similar position of power? NOOOOOOO. What’s something your parents do that really annoys you? Mom is *always* right, pretty much indisputably. And she WILL have the last word. Dad, meanwhile, can be pretty rude to people. I don't think he realizes it half the time, but still. It's not an excuse. What is your main source of anxiety? Social interactions. What’s your favorite 90s cartoon? Pokemon. Describe the moment you realized you were falling in love with someone. I'd rather not. What’s your favorite sparkling water brand/flavor? I've never tried sparkling water. What’s your favorite makeup brand/brands? I don't have a favorite, considering I don't wear it nearly enough and have never even bought my own. I just use whatever Mom buys. What are some female names you would name a baby? Alessandra is my favorite for sure. I also love Anneliese, Justine, Evelyn, Chloe, Evangeline, Quinn... There's a lot. What about male? Severin is my favorite, and I also like Damien, Vincent, Victor, and Luther. Do you have any subscription boxes? No. What fictional creature would you like as a pet? I want a dragon, goddammit. Idc if it can breathe fire ok I want a dragon. Ewoks are also the one and only thing I enjoy from Star Wars. What kind of dwelling do you live in? Just a one-story house. Is there anyone you work with that you don't get along with? Why? N/A Do you have an opinion on adopting/purchasing a pet? PLEASE adopt, especially with cats and dogs, given the number of strays. Purebreds tend to have so many underlying issues, and besides, it's just a LOT of money for an animal that probably wouldn't outlive a mutt. Don't feed the machine if you can. What's your favorite chain restaurant? The Cheesecake Factory or Olive Garden. Why were you last pulled over? I’ve never been pulled over before. What was the last thing you've done on the water? Just kinda swam around a bit in the ocean. It was so warm, totally like a bath. I do NOT miss that sun poisoning, though. Are you cool with swimming in a lake? I think I'd do it if someone invited me to, and the lake didn't look filthy, of course. Do you have a drone? No. What's your favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant? We have this tiny, local Mexican place that's really good. I don't know the name of it, and I wouldn't share it for obvious reasons. What do you order from there? Chips and salsa of course, along with a shrimp and cheese quesadilla, and finally their cheesy rice. What's your favorite ice-cream flavor? Depending on my mood, it bounces between vanilla with chocolate syrup or just plain chocolate. Do you have any t-shirts from any local businesses? No. Do you listen to any talk shows or podcasts? I used to listen to Mark, Bob, and Wade's podcast, but I'm like... ten months behind, haha. What's something someone calls you that you find endearing? I like "love" a lot. What's your favorite children's book? I loved books like The Rainbow Fish, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Stellaluna, 10 Minutes 'til Midnight, What Makes a Rainbow?, Chrysanthemum, etc. Is there a new season for a series you're excited to come out? Meerkat Manor comes back this summer, and I am fucking HYPED. How old are you? I'm 25. What is something unique you enjoy about the one you like/love? I tease her about it all the time, but it's really cute that she keeps all of her snakes' good sheds in her room. Proud reptile mom. Are you more liberal or conservative? I'm close to the middle, but I lean towards being more liberal, and I seem to go more that way with time. Do you watch American Horror Story? I used to. I saw the entire first season and really liked it, and then I almost finished the second, but I lost interest. The story got a bit stupid imo. I'd be willing to watch other seasons, though. Does your hometown have any urban legends/scary stories? None that I’m aware of. The people there are scary enough. What's the scariest nightmare you remember having? Let's not talk about it. Are you medicated? Uh very. Are there any apps you're addicted to? Nah. Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? It was initially a bunny holding a polka-dotted blanket, then it become a moose I got from Cabela's when in Ohio. Do you still collect stuffed animals? Only meerkat ones. Have you ever stolen/borrowed clothes from an ex? Haha I've worn Jason's pj pants before and they just kinda... became mine, lol. What's the last movie you watched at home? The Shining, I believe. What's the last movie you watched in theaters? The CGI remake of The Lion King. I still don't get why it was received so badly. Have you ever had eggs cooked over a campfire? I don't think so, no. If you do drink, what's your favorite alcoholic beverage? Margaritas, generally. However, Sara's dad made me this absofuckinglutely incredible chocolate drink before that tasted like a milkshake. It had like, no alcohol flavor, which worked out well for me considering I very much dislike that taste. Are there any songs you've been listening to repetitively lately? There's a new one every day lately, haha. Today it's Halocene's cover of "Love Bites (So Do I)." Cereal, granola, or oatmeal? Cereal. What TV shows did you grow up watching? You gotta gimme an age group... but I'd say the typical stuff for kids of that time. What does your phone case look like? It's just a boring purple that came with it. What were your favorite toys to play with as a child? I looooved playing with my "family" of a father crocodile, a mother deer, their two "children" (a fawn and smaller croc), and "friends" that were little Pokemon figurines. Then there was an evil t-rex with two stupid sidekicks, haha. I can't remember what dinosaurs they were. What's the most embarrassing thing you can ever remember doing? Hold on, lemme find my book. Do you remember what you dreamt about last night? I only very faintly recall dreaming about my cat Roman. Have you ever done anything embarrassing in a dream? Thank FUCK they're just dreams. Do you vape? Nah. What was a song you loved as a child? So uh. Apparently. I loved "Dookie" by Green Day. It's an undying story from Mom about how it came on once at a putt-putt place and I apparently started yelling "dookie!" and dancing. Do you enjoy the Arctic Monkeys? Yeah, I love some of their songs. Are you going to see Finding Dory? You bet your sweet ass I saw it. I've cried everytime I've watched it. Have you ever been horseback-riding? I have not, but I would love to. When was your last piercing? Whenever I got my tragus done, which I can't remember. What did your first crush look like? I don't remember my puppydog love first crush, but I can talk about my first REAL crush, Sebastian. He's a skinny dude with short, brown hair and a lip piercing... I can't remember which kind. He dressed in an emo style, and Facebook pictures at least suggest he still kind of does, I think. Is your body more curvy or flat? Well, I'm not at all skinny, so... What's your least favorite holiday? Probably Christopher Colombus Day, honestly. You didn't discover shit. Don't pretend to me it's worth celebrating in a clean conscience. if you’re having a boring day what do you usually do? If I'm rock-bottom bored, quite honestly, I normally nap, even though I know I shouldn't. Do you turn to food when you're upset? Ugh, I'm admittedly an emotional eater. I got way better about it, and then I started up again. Is your bf/gf good with your parents? I don't have an s/o. Do you think soda should be served at school? Vending machines are fine I suppose, as I don't believe they should be free seeing as they're nothing but sugar content, and I feel schools shouldn't just hand that out to kids at lunch or something. Do dogs have feelings? They sure do. Are you afraid of snakes? Oh no! I adore them. I respect snakes and am going to give wild ones their space for sure considering I don't recognize every native venomous one, but nevertheless, I'm not afraid of them. They are so vital to the ecosystem and are incredibly fascinating animals that deserve our protection. On that note, PLEASE do not kill any snake you come across in your shed or whatever. Call someone to relocate the terrified thing. Favorite snack? It depends on what I'm in the mood for, really. Ever seen The Notebook? Read the book, seen the movie plenty of times. Do you think cussing is trashy? No. Who is the most famous person you’ve met, if any? Nobody. Do you own any animals that aren’t domestic? No. Have you ever feared that you would lose a body part? No. Do you like gore? Yeah, generally. Do you like to drink water? Ugh, I really don't. I wish I did. Have you ever had a wax? I used to get my eyebrows waxed. Do you have any sets of matching bras and underwear? No. Are you any good at improv? Not at ALL.
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kylo-rens-scar · 5 years ago
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Weekend (Clyde Logan x Reader) 6k (!!!)
Note: Two years of extreme on and off writing and now I finally have something! Answering the prompt of “I'm so excited to see this and currently am looking forward! :D How about something fluffy as a good start for the audience?” from @creamyvanillalove Hope you and everyone enjoys it! This is actually part of a series of multiple one-shots I have cooking, because thinking about my dream life with Clyde Logan has been one of the only constants in my life for the past few years.
Sleeping in until 10 am on a Saturday was something rare in the Logan household especially with 22 month old triplets. Clyde came home around 2:30 from the bar and was still sleeping. You kiss him on the cheek and get out of bed, making your way to the bathroom. You throw on some yoga pants and wash your face. It’s surprisingly quiet in the house, and you thank the lord above the boys are still asleep. You have some much needed emails to catch up on.
You walk into the kitchen and turn on the coffee, and start to think what to make for breakfast today. You spot some overly ripe bananas Clyde swore he was going to eat a few days ago when you bought them, and yet there they were. Banana pancakes it is then. The boys are not too picky with breakfast so this would be easy for everyone. And Clyde would finally eat the bananas.
You are finally able to sit down at the dining room table to check your email when the first fussing is heard from matts monitor.
You make your way to his room and slowly open the door to find him standing up in his crib, rubbing his sleepy eyes and scrunching his face
“Good morning sweet boy,” you coo as you grab his glasses and put them on him. He yawns and makes grabby hands up at you and you pick him up. After quickly changing his diaper, you scoop him back up and carry him to the upstairs family room. You put Matt on the couch and turned the tv on quietly to Paw Patrol. Someday, you want to get they boys a dog, but they’re too young. Matt is immediately engaged to what ever show is on and you go back to finally checking your email.
Ben is the next to get up, but he sounds more of screaming bloody murder when he wakes up, something you pray to god he grows out of. And as usual, he’s fine, nothing’s wrong with him. As soon as you open his bedroom door, the screaming stops and regular crying begins. Very typical of Ben. The crying turns into sniffles when you pick him up.
After another quick diaper change, ben is plopped down next to Matt, both now engaged in the morning cartoon. Taking after his father, you know kylo will very much sleep until noon or later, so you let him sleep a little longer, so you can get to those dang emails.
——
About halfway through your inbox, you hear shuffling downstairs, and then slow footsteps up the stairs. He walks up to Matt and Ben an ruffles their hair before sitting down next to you on the couch. They boys were too engaged in to the tv to really notice their father. Clyde puts his arm around you then kisses your temple. You’re finishing up you last reply and smile.
“Where’s kylo?” Clyde yawns.
“Still sleeping, I checked on him when I got the other two up and he was still sound asleep.”
“Hmmph” he grunts as he sips some of his coffee. Clyde isn’t that big of a morning person, especially after a long night at the bar.
You close your computer and and stretch. Y’all have a busy day today and you were pretty sure Clyde didn’t hear you last night about it.
“Honey you and the boys are getting hair cuts this afternoon then we have that football tailgate party with the colwells tonight but before then I have to run to the store and get some things for them. I told Them I’d bring dessert and some tortilla chips. Clyde did you even hear a word I said?”
“Huh? Yeah I got everythin’ what time we leaving?”
“I’m hopin’ by 1:45, your sister said anytime after 1:30 was fine for us to head over to the salon”
“Why ain’t you getting you’re hair done?”
“Because I get mine done during the week when the boys are at daycare”
“Huh”
The two of you sit in comfortable silence for a little bit, Clyde was still waking up and the boys were still glued to the tv, with occasional chatter from them. It was about 11:15 and you decided to get Kylo up finally. You told Clyde to bring Matt and Ben downstairs for breakfast while you woke up the last triplet.
———
Kylo was sound asleep still when you walked into his room. You opened the binds slowly to let the sunshine in. He stretched and yawned, then standing in his crib with a sleepy smile.
Kylo was the furthest along in potty training. He usually could hold it in at night and sometimes let you know when he had to go. Matt was the next furthest but usually didn’t have a dry night or could hold it in time to tell you. He tries as best he can but gets frustrated a lot. And then Ben showed absolutely no interest yet.
It was another dry night so after you took his diaper off you set him on his training potty. You praised him after he went and you let him put a sticker on the potty poster before heading back down with the rest of your family.
Clyde had Ben sitting on the counter, Matt in one arm and had a carton of eggs in his other hand. Ben was just about to get into the flour before you quickly whisked it away from his reach. Disappointed, Ben huffed and crossed his arms and looked at the ground, something he copied from Clyde a couple months ago. You ruffled his hair and helped Clyde by taking the egg carton and giving him kylo.
“Darlin I had things under control down here, we was just about to start fixin breakfast.” He protested
“You can help by putting the kids in their seats and getting their sippy cups.” You reply, kissing his cheek. “also kylo had another dry night!”
“Good job bud!” Clyde says and kisses his forehead.
With breakfast underway and the boys settled down in their seats, Clyde takes a moment to stare out into the backyard. He noticed the leaves in the tree line were beginning to rust into beautiful crimsons and oranges. Fall is Clyde’s favorite season. The changing of the leaves, cooler days, shorter days, warm drinks, you’d think he’s a basic white girl. Some mornings he’d see some turkey or deer rummaging in the grass, even a black bear once. This morning was quiet out there, nothing to be seen.
“Clyde honey, are you okay? I’ve been callin at ya for the past few minutes” You ask walking up him an putting your hand on his arm.
“Wha? Yea I’m fine darlin’, just zoned out for a lil bit. Sorry I wasn’t paying attention.” He apologized and kissed your cheek.
“Well breakfast is ready and we got a big day ahead of us.”
———
After breakfast, you take the boys to your bathroom to bathe them and you send Clyde upstairs to get their outfits. You were smart enough the night before when you put the boys to sleep that you had their clothes out and ready.
Bathing three squirmy little boys was something you managed to master very quickly. Each one liked doing their own thing in the bath. Matt enjoys drawing with the bath crayons on the tub wall, Ben likes any kind of bath toys and Kylo prefers the bathtub stickers. Kylo is usually first, then Matt, and finally Ben. As each little one was finished you wrapped them in their towels and sat them on your vanity bench in the bathroom. Most of the time they will sit there and wait for Clyde to get them ready one by one, but sometimes they crawl down and scamper off to the closet and get into trouble. Today was one of those days.
Matt was sitting perfectly content on the bench with Kylo until he spotted his daddy’s shiny new belt buckle on the closet floor. Clyde won it at the fair a few weeks ago in the arm wrestling tournament.
Clyde was still upstairs grabbing the boys clothes at this point and you just started rinsing the shampoo out of Ben’s hair when Matt bounded towards the closet. Kylo was thankfully still on the bench and looked like he wasn’t moving off.
“Matthew James, you best not be getting into trouble in there...” you warn as you finish washing ben.
After discovering the shiny object and carefully inspecting it, Matt decided to run over to show you. But the towel was in the way and Matt tripped on it, causing him face plant straight onto the bathroom rug, followed by crying. You come to his rescue and scooped him into your arms. Clyde is back downstairs and walked into the bathroom to investigate the commotion. Ben and Kylo were wrapped in towels on the bench, both sliding off and shuffling over to Clyde.
“I’ll get these two ready?” He asked, herding the boys out of the bathroom.
“Please, Clyde. We might be a minute” you reply.
Matt has tears streaming down his face, and you see the worst possible place he got a rug burn: his chin. And to top it off, the burn was very much indeed raw. Ouch. Wrapping Matt back up in his towel you sit him down on your counter and open the first aid drawer. His chin and left palm had carpet burns.
“It’s gonna be okay baby, just a couple of little boo boos, hmm?” You try to reassure him.
After the small fiasco and a couple bandaids later, you and Matt emerge from the bathroom, Matt still bundled up in his towel. You hand him over to Clyde, who kissed Matt on the cheek and Clyde started to get him ready while you got dressed and ready yourself.
———
“Darlin I got all three ready to go, should I start loadin everyone in the car yet?” Clyde asked, peering into your closet. You were getting your boots on.
“Yes babe thank you I’ll be right out. I’ll text mellie we’re heading out now.” You nod, grabbing your coat. While making sure you had everything before heading out to the garage, mellie texted back, telling you not to rush. You get out to the suv to see Clyde in the passenger seat, turned around towards the boys with a stern look on his face. As you open the door you are greeted with a chorus of crying.
“BEN QUIT SMACKIN YOUR BROTHER HE AINT DONE NOTHIN WRONG TO YA!” Clyde bellowed to the back seat as you stepped into the drivers seat.
“What in the world has happened in the 10 minutes I was gone? Hmm?” You ask your husband.
“I swear everythin was for fine, Ben started smacking Kylo for lord knows why then Kylo hit back and also took Matt’s stuffed animal and threw it into your footbed.” Clyde motioned towards your feet.
Nodding, you pick up the stuffed animal giving it back to Matt. Like Clyde, you turn around in you seat to look at the boys. “Now, I don’t wanna have any more crocodile tears in this car or for the rest of today, got it?” You chide, elbowing Clyde for support.
“Uhh yeah boys, don’t get momma upset today.” he adds.
Knowing that little pep talk probably did nothing for them, but it was the thought that counts, you face the front again and start up your car. The boys remained quiet, except for the occasional unintelligible babble to one another, which was normal. Clyde was adjusting his prosthetic, humming contently when it was to his liking.
———
When you got to the salon, you saw that Ben had fallen back asleep on the drive. You gently get him out of his seat first and pass him over to Clyde, along with the diaper bag. Matt and Kylo were easy to get out of the car, but Matt insisted on being carried in, not loosening his grip on your top. Locking the car, you and your family walk in to the salon to see mellie near her chair, checking her phone. She looks up to Clyde and immediately comments on his hair.
“Good lord almighty Clyde, you’re growin a mop! According to my records it’s been 8 dang months since you last been here and honey it shows.” She says.
“Now Mellie you and I both know you done cut it too damn short last time so I been lettin it grow out again, short hair don’t suit me. My ears stick out.” Clyde huffed.
“Well then how ya want it done then? Last time you said ‘shorten it up for me, it keeps bothering me at work’ and now you said it was too short!”
“I dunno, just don’t do what ya did last time I guess?!”
“Clyde Logan of you don’t tell me ima buzz all it off!”
“Okay fine then, ask Y/N!”
The both turn towards you, Clyde lookin all worked up and mellie looking annoyed at her brother. You crack a smile and roil your eyes.
“Wet is head down first and then let’s go from there?” You offer.
“Sounds good to me, who’s first?” She replies, looking to all your boys.
“I think we’ll start with mister Matthew, but he’s gonna have to sit on my lap it seems like. He tripped this mornin after bath time, and now he doesn’t wanna go near the floor now.” You sigh, stroking Matts blonde curls.
Matt was very anxious during his haircut, lots of squirming and tears. It’s something that has happened the past couple of times, and you and Clyde were a little concerned. You make a mental note to call the doctor about it. Ben was next and was very good in the chair. He just loved the attention, from Aunt Mellie, Clyde, and you. Kylo was calm too, but his hair grows really slow so he didn’t have much cut.
All three boys had different haircuts, with Kylos the longest and Bens is the shortest, with Matt being in the middle of the two.
Clyde was last to go, you pull up a picture of him from a while back to show Mellie a desired length. Clyde asked to look but both you and his sister declined his request, saying that it was gonna be fine. Clyde argued that it’s his hair and his head so he should be able choose his hair style.
You narrow your eyes at him, “Clyde William Logan I swear on the lord himself, you are actin far worse than the boys right now! Now you need to trust me and your sister and if you don’t we’re gonna just buzz all of it off!” You snap. He sighs in defeat and nods, finally letting go of the whole situation.
After all of the boys had their hair cut and styled, you tried squaring away the bill with your sister in law. That was impossible because all she said “y’all are my family I don’t need to be chargin’ ya’ll!” She laughed.
“You sure? They were extra rowdy I don’t want it to be any trouble to you!” You say, trying to hand her $40.
“oh stop it, you’re gonna start insulting me!” She retorted.
You roll your eyes and put the money back in your wallet. “ Alright then, at least come over for supper one night? It’s the least we can do.” You know mellie can’t resist your beef brisket or your Mac n cheese.
“Oh alright!” She finally agrees.
———
“Darlin are you sure you know where ya goin? I thought cooper and them was on the other side of town,” Clyde commented when you pulled out of the salon.
“No babe they do I just gotta run into the Kroger and grab the chips”
“I thought you was bringing a dessert too?”
“You’re right I am. The boys and I made cookies and brownies yesterday afternoon but I already put them in the back of my car this morning when I woke up. “
“Okay, what kinda cookies y’all bake?”
“Just sugar, the boys helped decorated for about 7 minutes before they got restless so only a few look a little crazy. I did the rest when they went to bed.”
“Ya think I can tell who did what cookies?” Clyde smirks.
“Oh definitely,” you giggle.
Once you guys were pulling into the driveway, you see one of the dogs trailing you to the side of your suv.
“Who is it Clyde? I didn’t catch the fur color too well.” You ask.
“I think it’s Hank, he’s the pointer, right?”
“Yeah he’s the pointer, keep an eye out that he doesn’t get too close to the car.”
“Mommy mommy mommy!” You hear Matt from the back.
“Yes baby what’s the matter?” You glance in the rear view mirror.
“Potty mommy!” He whines.
“Okay okay we’re almost there, you can make it Matt,” you try to encourage him as you pull up to a grassy spot in the side yard.
“If you wanna run him in you can, I’ll try to get everyone else organized.” Clyde offers as you open your door.
“Thank you babe that’d be great,” you say unbuckling Matt.
“Mommy...!” Matt reaches out for you. You grab the diaper bag too and run inside. You say your ‘hey y’all clydes coming in with the boys’ and ‘gimme one second we have a potty situation’ as you b-line it to the powder bathroom with Matthew in you arms.
Before even getting the door closed you see Matt scrunch his face and tense up his body- it was too late. You sigh. Even though he still had his diaper on, you sit him on the toilet to finish and go through with the motion of using the toilet. You still praise him and even flush the toilet together
Matt starts crying when you change him. You have a feeling it’s because he didn’t make it in time again to the toilet. You feel bad for him, you know he is trying his best but he can’t seem to get the hang of letting you or Clyde know in time. It’s just something you will have to work on with him.
“Shh it’s okay baby mommy isn’t upset. I’m happy you let me know you had to go potty,” you try to calm him down. He stops crying after a little bit and you kiss him on the cheek.
You pick Matt up again to carry him to his brothers and the rest of the kids. They were all in the basement playing various things. Ben and kylo were with some older boys playing with trucks. You set Matt down with them and ruffled your other two boys hair before heading back up. All three were entertained with the others so you let them be.
As you headed back up to everyone else you see Clyde talking with cooper and lance. You grab a beer from one of the coolers and walk over to Clyde. He kisses your head and puts his arm around you.
“Didn’t sound good from what I got to hear” he sighed.
“Yeah poor thing didn’t make it again. He needs to tell us sooner, I think he hasn’t connected that he needs to tell us way before versus right before.” You leave it at that.
“Mhmm. I brought everythin in too. Game got pushed to 5:30 cuz rain I think.
“Oh ok.” You respond. You take a sip of beer before properly saying hello to everyone else.
A little into the first quarter you send Clyde down to check on the boys and give them some sippy cups. He comes back up with nothing unusual to report, everyone is still content. With that, you decide to get some food for yourself.
———
At halftime you are talking with Maggie and Carter about the fall carnival at school when you see ben crawling up the stairs and heading straight to you.
“MAMMA MAMMA!!!” He wailed as you picked him up, not sure if he was ok or not.
“Yes little man what’s wrong?” You ask, looking for anything off.
“Food?” He asks, pointing to the counter with all the food.
“Of course baby. Do you know if brothers want food too?” You ask him.
“Yea.” Ben nods, pointing to the other two who were making their way up the stairs too.
You set him back on the ground and walked over to the plates, getting one for each and getting them a few things. All three are at you feet, on their tip toes to see what foods there are. You ignore their begging for straight desserts and chips, and scold at them for trying to reach up for food too.
“Cmon guys, let’s get over to the table” you say as they follow you back to where you were sitting. All three fit on the bench seat together so you helped each one up and gave them their plate. Once they were all eating and have mostly quiet down, you sat back down and took a sip of your beer. Both Maggie and carter looked shocked at what they just watched you orchestrated.
“Girl how in the world do you do it with triplets? It looked like y’all rehearsed this or something before y’all got here! I am so impressed with your patience and mom skills.” Carter laughed.
“Yeah that’s more impressive than the game honestly,” Maggie adds.
“Awe well thanks y’all. I can tell you it’s not always this organized, every once and a while all three seem to be on the same wave length and they’ll listen. And I’m even impressed considering they did not get a chance to nap before getti- Kylo do not grab food off Matt’s plate you have the exact same thing on yours!” You snapped over to the boys.
“See? It’s not always perfect.” You suppressed a giggle.
———
After the game was over, everyone still stayed behind a little while longer to socialize and help clean up. The kids were all back downstairs watching a movie, with most of young ones passed out on the floor with some blankets.
You head downstairs about 10 to see how your boys were. Sure enough they were still up, eyes glued to the tv. Getting them ready for church tomorrow was going to be fun.
You head back up to get Clyde to help you get the kids. He yawns and follows you down, stealing a kiss at the stairs landing. You turn the lights on downstairs and announce to all the kids it time and Clyde added “yea y’all better hurry I heard y’all’s parents are gonna leave without ya!” He says with a straight face. All the kids scramble up to their own parents, all with looks of fear of being left.
“CLYDE WHATCHA TELLIN MY KIDS DOWN THERE??” You two hear lance yell down. Clyde bursts into a roar of laughter.
You and Clyde gather your three and their shoes, which unfortunately happened to be littered all around the basement.
“Momma?”
“Yes kylo?” You respond as you put his other shoe on.
“Go home now?”
“Yes we’re all going home now.”
“Oh okay.”
You get all the boys in their seats and start the car, Clyde still saying his goodbyes to everyone. The boys were overtired and grumpy, Matt surprisingly the worst. Clyde opens the backseat door to put the leftovers on the floor when Matt screams and tries to kick and push Clyde away from him. Ben and kylo start crying as a response.
“Ow- Matthew quit it!!” Clyde says and shuts the door, retreating to the passenger seat. “What in the hell is up with him and the other two?” Clyde asked you.
“No nap today. Get your seatbelt on so we can go. These three need to go to sleep. “ you plead.
The drive home was fun to say the least. All three boys did not fall asleep in the car and were fussy when y’all got home. You get the boys upstairs and ready for bed while Clyde gets them sippy cups of milk.
Once all three were changed for bed, Clyde was upstairs helping you get each one settled in their cribs. Kylo was the first to go down. Once he had his sippy cup he got super sleepy and was asleep in no time. Matt was next and was overtired to the point he didn’t want th lay down. He just stood up in his crib and sobbed, wanting to be picked back. You and Clyde felt bad but knew if you picked him back up it would only make it worse. You kissed his forehead and put his sippy cup in his crib with him and you let him hash it out by himself. Ben was fast asleep in clyde’s arms when he handed him to you. You kiss him on the cheek before setting him down.
With all the baby monitors on and alert, you and your husband head back down to your room. All the monitors were quiet, even Matt’s which meant he gave up and went to sleep. You sigh and kick your boots off, walking in your bathroom to take your makeup off and change out of your clothes. Clyde went off into the kitchen which meant he either went for a glass of milk or a late night snack before bed. You changed into one of his big old T-shirts he doesn’t wear that much. Partially because it’s neon green and well, Clyde doesn’t wanna look like a damn highlighter in public. He only wears it sometimes if he’s doing yard work or sick at home. All the other times it’s in your pajama drawer. Clyde doesn’t understand how that god ugly shirt looks so adorable on you, even if it goes to right above your knees and you practically are swimming in it.
You quietly head to the kitchen to see Clyde halfway through a pb&j. You lean against the island across from him and watch him eat.
“Did you not eat over there during the game?” You ask genuinely curious. Not only was there the typical game day bites, but there were also burgers and hot dogs on the grill.
“I did, I just wanted a little something before bed, wanna a bite?” He offers.
“No thank you, I’ll be in bed. Don’t forget to turn off the lights out here before coming into the bedroom.” You say, standing on your tip toes to kiss his cheek before head you the bedroom.
———
You’re settled in bed on Pinterest when Clyde walks in, leaving a trail of his clothes to the bed wearing only his boxers. He takes his prosthetic arm off and carefully places it on his night stand before getting into bed. You shut your phone off and turn to face Clyde, scooting close to him too. He leans to kiss you and you only scoot even closer to him. You drape an arm over his waist and tangle your legs with his.
“We goin to church tomorrow mornin’?” He asks, his hand starting to wander down your side.
“Not until after lunch for evening service. The boys don’t have bible nursery tomorrow morning and I already said we might not be there until the afternoon,” you say.
Clyde grunts in satisfaction with your answer. He was hoping to not have to wake up early for church.
His hand settles for your hip and he kisses your forehead. You exchange I love yous and both of you fall asleep rather quickly, in each other’s arms.
You two are both awakened to the crying coming from a monitor. You roll onto your back and rub your eyes before looking to see which child it is. You look and see it from bens, so you head upstairs to see what the fuss is all about, Clyde close behind you. Coming into his room you see his stuffed animal fell out of the crib, away from his reach. You pick up the toy and pick up ben too, kissing him on the cheek. He wraps an arm around your neck and holds the stuffed animal with the other, when you see Clyde walk in after checking the other two.
He mouths an “all good” with a thumb up, indicating Matt and kylo were still asleep. Ben quickly falls back asleep in your arms, so you put him back in his crib and head back downstairs with Clyde.
Back in bed, Clyde laid on his back while you curled up under his arm. You two fell back to sleep almost instantly.
———
The next morning, you are woken up by Clyde sliding into bed-with kylo in his arms. You blink again to see if you were still sleeping, but sure enough Clyde was putting kylo down in your bed, with ben and Matt, who were also still sleeping You close you eyes and try to fall back asleep for a little bit longer. Ben woke up first, Clyde picking him up and holding him on his lap.
“Daddy, mommy sleeping?” You hear Ben ask.
“Yeah buddy we gotta stay quiet for mommy” Clyde replied, whispering and putting a finger over his lips for him to be quiet. Ben nods.
You managed to doze back off for about 45 minutes until you feel someone crawl over you.
Barely open an eye to see its kylo, staring intensely at your face.
“Mamma? You sleeping?” He asks, poking your cheek.
“Yes baby, mommy is sleeping!” You exaggerate and flip over to you back and cover your eyes and loudly fake snore. You hear three little giggles you continue to loudly snore until you feel the other two crawl on top of you. All three were bursting with laughter as they sat on top of you. You finally exaggerate a yawn and a stretch, rubbing your eyes and acting completely surprised when to see the boys on top of you.
“What are ALL three of y’all doin!? How’d y’all get in mommy and daddy’s bed?!” You say with a fake surprised voice and look up at your husband. Clyde looked away towards the window and took an innocent sip of coffee.
————
For a moment, you thought about just not going to church today. You could say Clyde or one of the boys are sick, or even yourself. The idea was nice, but wouldn’t sit well with your conscience as the day went on. Clyde was in a good mood today, something you rarely see on a Sunday. He never cared too much for church, thought it was a waste of a day for getting dressed and then being packed into a room with people. A lot of Sunday’s it was just you and the boys who went to morning service, with Clyde showing up for lunch and afternoon activity/service. Clyde would get home at sometimes 3 in the morning from the bar so you let him sleep in.
“Babe you want me to get you coffee? Clyde offers, you nod in response. The 5 of y’all were still in bed, all cuddled up watching a Disney movie. The boys wanted to watch Tangled- for about the 15th time this past month.
“Momma? Has some?” Matt asks you, pointing at the coffee Clyde just handed you.
“No baby you can’t have any,” you calmly reply, taking a sip yourself.
“Why?” Matt presses, pouting a little.
“It’s very hot and not good for little boys” you answer.
“Why?” He asks again. You sigh, ready to answer again when Clyde butts in.
“Mommy said no Matthew,” he sternly warns him, knowing this may develop into a tantrum or the other two will get involved. It’s the later.
Ben and kylo turn to you and Clyde, now curious to try both of your coffees, with Matt still wanting the coffee too.
You look at Clyde dead in the eyes and raise a brow. “You’re coffee cooled down?” You ask him. He narrowed his eyes at you and nods, not sure of your little scheme. Clyde takes his coffee black, while you on the other hand have cream and heaps of sugar. You know if the boys tried yours they would enjoy it but if they had your husbands they most certainly would not ask to try it again for a long time.
“Alright alright y’all win, you can try Daddy’s coffee! But be careful, it’s a little hot!” You warn and Clyde hands you his mug. “Matthew you can try it first ok?” You say as Matt scoots up to you. You grab the spoon from your mug and swirl it around clydes coffee before gathering a small sip on the spoon for Matt. He took an eager sip and immediately spit it back out, all over your pajamas. He scrunches his face and you start to see some waterworks. You smile ever so slightly and Clyde chuckles and takes his coffee back. You hold Matt’s face and look at him. “See baby? Mommy said you wouldn’t like it, but you wanted to try it, which is ok! I’m glad you tried it, now you know that it’s icky.” You praise him. He nods and hugs your arm.
“Kylo? Ben? Do you want to try daddy’s coffee?” You ask the other two, both surprisingly nodding. With Matt still holding onto your arm you have Clyde hold the coffee mug while you used the spoon to feed them the coffee. Kylo just made a sour face and pushed the spoon and mug away after he tried it. Ben took the whole spoonful and spit it up on you, then threw a fit.
“Benjamin why are you upset? Was it daddy’s coffee?” You ask, watching him roll around sobbing. You see him nod a little. “Is there a way mommy or daddy can help?” He nods again. “Baby use your words so we know what you want,” you encourage him. He lifts his head from the bed and rubs his face.
“Cuddles... Daddy,” he finally says.
“You want to cuddle with daddy?” You confirm.
“Yea,”
“C’mere bud,” Clyde offers his arm and pulls Ben into his lap. Clyde kisses his forehead once he settles. Kylo decided he wanted in on this family cuddle pile and makes his way right in between you and Clyde. Matt stopped crying too and was still curled up in your lap. You still had spit up coffee on your shirt. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling but you ignored it because you and your family were cozy, watching the same Disney movie for the umpteenth time and you wouldn’t trade this moment for the world.
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seeksstaronmewni · 5 years ago
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Samurai Jack Season 5 in Review: EPISODE XCVI
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Things can change greatly when one is open enough to see the truth.
As the episode’s TV spot promoted (as with earlier TV spots for the season in general), it’s time for the Scotsman episode of Season 5! Enough said.
NOW, as the Scotsman proclaimed, “NOW we... CHAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!!!!!”
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This’s the first episode in Season 5 to be rated TV-PG-V (for “moderate” violence), although it’s not really that violent. It clearly could be TV-Y7-FV, but I guess that Cartoon Network is concerned about easily imitable violence such as kicking and punching (unlike Disney Channel/Disney XD), so it may never be TV-Y7 again.
NOTE: Obviously, I started working on this post on Memorial Day of 2020 in honor of our dear Scotsman. Anyway, I’m curious as to what was going on with the Scotsman’s family and what they were plotting, during the time that we’re focusing on Jack and Ashi... but we still have 40 episodes to come until the series is complete. I was too busy or lazy to finish the post before the end of the day or month (for that matter, I was mostly inactive on it for 6 months), but I’m slowly back on it, so WACH’OUT!
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We start with Aku’s place... which appears much more barren than it was in EPISODE I. The episode is another Andrews-Tartakovsky duo-boarding. Just the sound of wind, but no mist full of demons for some reason. Perhaps some bombing or missile attack cleared Aku’s yard?
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A tank rolls over to the edge of Aku’s yard. A soldier within signals the other tanks to advance with his horn. These tanks are designed by the late and great Chris Reccardi and @heydusty​.
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The camera streaks further back to reveal another army of men riding a 20-legged, rhino-like creature, in armor similar to the exterior of the tanks. He signals his army with his horn, too.
How about another army, then?
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Signaled by a woman with her bagpipes, she leads her army...
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a whole army of women
Talk about girl power... compared to The Powerpuff Girls, which stopped in 2019 and wasn’t nostalgically correct enough for the last 3 seasons anyway.
Whichever one I find most attractive all depends on which hairstyle looks most attractive... like the one in the bottom right corner. Aside from that, they pretty much all look and sound the same.
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The sound of wheels grows audible. Who is that man in the wheelchair?
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He has a machine gun for his left leg. Slowly, the camera, defocused except on his leg, eases out.
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“Ha ha! We found him!”
It is, indeed, the Scotsman. The hype-inducing Scotsman!
And he’s pretty much ready to fight!
Well... except for one thing...
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“I take you out for a day of battle, and you’re dressed like you’re goin’ dancin’!”
She’s kind of bashful. Isn’t she, Scotsman?
Flora was apparently out of appropriate uniform... not that it’s the time for dancing, or dance-fighting, however they intended to take Aku down face-to-face. She looks kind of hot, but this’s not the time to be thinking about fashion or a sultry appearance.
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“That goes for all of you.”
“Cover yourself!” the Scotsman yells; “You’ll catch your death of cold!” He definitely cares about his daughters--I know not how many he has, but it’s an army’s worth--but I don’t think that they’re really cold at all.
What season is it, anyway?
(Oh, and, for the shot above, Flora has tiny dot eyes X3)
“Now”, the Scotsman proclaims, “we... CHAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!”
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“EYAAAAHHHHH” he shouts excitedly, as Flora drives him into battle.
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The Scotsman’s army rolls into battle, firing with some nicely-colored smoke.
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*p-powaa-p-p-powaa-powaa-p-powaa-aa*
Yep. There’s that more familiar Universal/Hanna-Barbera explosion, like one would hear in Seasons 1-6 of The Powerpuff Girls, serving as the sole sound effect for this shot and repeating itself. Joel Valentine’s uses of these classic explosions are probably different from those on Sound Ideas’ Universal & H-B sound libraries as these’re cleaner in quality.
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The armored creatures apparently shoot some pretty hot snot out of their trunks, leaving us to wonder what this particular animal ultimately is. That classic Anime whistle (kind of sounds like “SHELL SCREAMING WHINE DOWN”) becomes audible as the bunch of hot snot falls toward Aku’s place.
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“It seems we are under attack”, Aku overhears. “Under attack?” Aku highlights, beginning to consider use for this opportunity as he slowly stretches his beard. Aku takes a peek at the war through his own kind of TV or something. “Perhaps annihilating this scum will break me out of my...
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me-lai-i-i-i-i-se.” Aku streak immediately upward.
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Meanwhile, the Scotsman was firing HIS LEG gun... (footage that the last TV spot advertised for the coming of Season 5 in March, well before this episode itself was advertised, also showing the same footage)
Not sure at what HIS LEG gun was firing, since Aku wasn’t out, until...
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*bwssss! wb-wb-wb-wb!*
...Aku rockets out of his place...
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...trailing blazing fire as he turns into a giant ball...
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...bowling his way over all of the tanks. The armored creatures on which 1/3 of the army rides are next!
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“You know what?” The Scotsman said, come to his senses. “This was a bad idea! Time to go, girls.” Protective of his many daughters,  the Scotsman knew what to do in such a disastrous moment: “I’ll stall him while you escape.”
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“I’m sorry, old man; I think you are lost.”
Just as Aku was about to make the annihilation complete, a voice froze him: “Hold it! You’re not goin’ anywhere, you big buffoon”. Not knowing who this guy was at all, Aku looked down upon him... and he seemed pretty serious, even though he met not this guy before at all.
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“The samurai is still out there, inspirin’ people by the thousands!”
“I ain’t lost, y’ tree ogre!” The Scotsman talked back, pushing his insults further and further. “After all these years, you’re powerless against him... afraid to show yourself ‘cause you know he’s out there, and you can’t do anything about it!”
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“Ah ha ha! You’re just a big baby! Why don’t you go cry to your mama--”
Aku was not in the mood for being “roasted”.
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*wshiiiiiing*
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A third of a sword flung out of the explosion.
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Aku burned him.
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*psst*
Aku burned him good.
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Those catchlight-y eyes don’t lie, Flora.
OK; “highlights” would be the more common term.
This’s why I began writing this post on Memorial Day 2020.
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When you roast Aku, Aku roasts you back.
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“Why did he bring, up, the samurai?”
A relative question: If Aku cares no longer, what else has Aku to do with his life? Must he be evil? Some centuries worth since he started ruling... I guess that the Scotsman was just trying to make Aku upset, when he could speak a better conversation than mostly insult him.
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Flora stabs the remainder of the sword into the ground by his ashes. There is some inscription on it that should be interesting to decode. I wonder if there’s an Easter egg in its words...
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“I be back--and in me prime, no less!”
BOOM! Souls don’t die! Of course, rather than probably being in Heaven, he’s more of a ghost who’s still able and willing... by Celtic magic, which apparently connects to the inscription on his very sacred sword. “We’ll find Jack” he plots, “and finally defeat that BIG BABY!”
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Anyways... one night, probably very far away from wherever Aku’s place is, Ashi was doing some thinking.
She grew up with her mom, who claimed that Aku created everything, but now she met Jack, who told her that Aku had the world ravaged.
Ashi was raised to believe that “The samurai is the poison killing the land”... as if Aku even cared at that point; she never even met Aku. Jack’s wisdom begat conflict in her mind: “If you... let go of (your) hate, you will see the truth.”
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At least it’s an otherwise peacful night.
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Well. It was.
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“I have questions, mother.”
Ashi began to hallucinate (or it was some kind of weird fever dream... I know not) as the moon turned into her mother’s mask. “The samurai sleeps”, she slips through her mouth. “Kill him in his slumber before he wakes!”
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“How DARE you?!”
I suppose this’s what comes of wishing for the moon.
Ashi was not ready to act on instinct as this samurai saved her life, but her vision was merciless. She had questions (and had the... moon failed??? Well not the moon, just her mom), and frankly one could question if she or her mother knew who exactly the samurai was and what he looked like. She was apparently secluded from the rest of society and we know little of her life growing up, so of course she’d have questions.
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From there, that very island, Ashi’s journey began, and the next morning Jack found a sea dragon to continue the journey.
Although the dolphin chirps act as a faint, echo-y sound in the scene, they stand out as more unique recording than the stereotypical Hollywood Edge recordings one would hear pretty much everywhere else, like in Spongebob or whatever.
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The sea dragon submerges into the ocean and makes a giant leap into the sky! Not sure why, but it probably got them closer to land.
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ANIME LINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It might not seem too noticeable, but the animation right here looks a bit... tight/slow-paced or whatever. Korean animation’s been thinning out on ln-betweens since, like 2016 for some reason, but they still put more effort on this Cartoon Network Studios project than most right now.
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“I shall not forget your kindness.”
The sea dragon gives him a snort and a roar of... gratitude?
Jack and Ashi finally made it to a bigger land (and probably not just a bigger island). Now where would they go from here?
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“Goodbye.”
It looks like Jack was just going to part ways.
I’ll continue working on this post later, preferably/almost daily if not weekly. (I’ve just been very slow mentally and more autistic this year than I ever realized)
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steve0discusses · 5 years ago
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Yugioh S4 Ep1 Part 2: The Soul Stealing Motorcycle Card Gang With an Australian Accent
So a lot of things that happen at once in this episode, and one of the wild things is something that has been building for 3 entire seasons of Yugioh but because all this other stuff is happening, it’s like...secondary. Slowly, we’ve been watching all of these cards becoming more and more real to the point that yes, they are in fact Physical now--other people are noticing, it’s finally happening. the cards are finally real. Magic exists. This is a very big deal.
Like I’ve seen some of y’alls comments about how S4 is kind of crazy and well...cards becoming real was my one and only guess as to what crazy thing could happen in S4 and that happened halfway through the first episode so...it’s all uphill from here
But what’s crazy about this is that although this has been built up for so long,  all our main characters are so freakin distracted, that they look up at the sky and see...youknow...this tapestry here:
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And treat it like they’re looking at a flock of really weird birds or something. Like this is world breaking, terrifying, end of the world, Independence Day level red alert and yet instead of the military marching down and shooting lasers at all of these things, everyone is going to just simply walk home.
No one is going to evacuate. Yugi’s Dad isn’t going to show up in a Mad Max style motorcycle in jean cutoffs and be like “I knew it was happening, Son, this is what I’ve been doing for the past 3 years PS, it was worth it now, huh?” no, that isn’t happening.
Instead we’re going to very patiently, and very carefully just not panic and walk home.
Everyone’s just gonna...walk on the sidewalk home, huh? Patiently follow traffic laws? Wait for the light to turn red and everything?
No one even slightly wants to know what any of these monsters taste like? Just me? I mean this is your one opportunity to cook and eat a scapegoat and you know that thing’s got to be delicious under barbecue sauce.
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And the funny thing is, people saw this happening and was like “I should call that game company and let them know that there’s real ass dragons that look like their video game flying around.”
Like imagine that Nintendo became real and there’s just...Goombas everywhere. Would I be...calling the Nintendo Hotline?
Hell No. I would be checking all food blogs everywhere for how to roast a Goomba on a grill, because you KNOW those things would be nuts after a few hours in a marinade, draped with fried egg on rice.
But in Yugioh, they’re like calling up Kaiba Corp and hoping that customer service can somehow make the living, breathing dragons and whatever that flying turtle thing was just...stop existing. They’re pretty sure Kaiba can “turn off” the flying monsters.
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I think I’m still spelling it wrong, too.
Also, Kuriboh is real now and that...sucks.
That’s a lot of gross hair just flying around and I guarantee it’s gonna give everyone lice. That nasty ass sentient ball of hair you pulled out of your shower drain is just...flying around outside with huge googly eyes.
Freakin sucks. You can’t possibly eat a Kuriboh, it’s way too much hair and I guarantee when you skin that thing it’s like just a meatball to put on the tiniest little skewer and that’s it.
Sorry Bro just informed me that Kuriboh is a ghost??????
???
Also one of the cards is straight up an American Quarter.
I just want to bring up that there’s one (1) cursed ass American Quarter somewhere on Earth and that is going to be a real shocker for the one person that picks up that Quarter and doesn’t realize that when you flip it, it can kill people.
And I just did hunt to figure out what the hell the quarter card is called and I’m starting to think maybe the the show made it up? Wtv my memory is patchy when it comes to the cards.
And for all the cards that are just people but with more muscles, what are they gonna do? Is Dark Magician gonna have to go try and get a reception job to pay the bills? Is anyone going to hire Dark Magician in this economy?
(read more under the cut)
On their pleasurable walk home amongst all the horrible abominations and I guess a couple of bizarre magician hats floating around, they come across...this:
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They just left them there in the middle of the street next to this nasty ass Gecko that would ABSOLUTELY eat them.
Also that Gecko...that’s just an alligator that can climb walls, right? Like this is Florida level of insane terrible creature you never want to have climbing walls? That was the one thing we had on alligators--vertical walls.
Youknow, Florida is probably the only place on Earth in this Universe that is actually completely fine.
On the other side of town, Roland is having his best day ever.
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I do enjoy that Roland's line was “Mr Kaiba assured me that it’s not their company’s fault” which makes it sound sort of like he had some serious doubts. And might still have some serious doubts. And that he’s so sure that it was Kaiba, that he’s just going to say the “company” isn’t to blame.
And so they decided, well instead of evacuating the city, lets go have dinner at the Muto house. So, they all decided to not check in with everyone else’s parents and family and instead had a fun hang out sesh and watched TV.
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They went to school with this guy.
Like they went to school with this guy like a month ago and now he’s giving press conferences in front of a dictator-style tapastry.
The imposter syndrome in Domino High must be pretty wild if you’re always getting compared to Seto Kaiba, is all I’m saying. Maybe that’s why the rest of the class has just decided to drop out.
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*Cut to Pegasus’ island where there’s like 80 dead wife zombies running around and Pegasus and Croquet have locked themselves into the bathroom while they watch the zombie wives eat whatever’s left of PaniK.*
It looks like my dream ending of Yugioh, that Seto Kaiba’s company gets sued to hell and back and everyone goes to prison isn’t quite realized yet but it’s looking slowly and surely more real every day.
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Kind of surprising that they assume so quickly that Kaiba is lying when they’re sitting next to Pinocchio over here.
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So once you think, well...they can’t add more to this episode, no, we’re just gonna straight up knock out Yugi’s Grandpa...again. He needs a life alert. Does Yugi wear a life alert?
And you’d think they’d assume that a monster did this, right? Nah. It’s people. Real ass people did this but not one of the many huge ass monsters that apparently are kind of like Pokémon and don’t feel like doing more than just flap their arms and sit on stuff.
Anyways, the God Cards are gone. Goodbye, Deux ex Machina cards.
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Feel a little bad for the one building just directly under the shadow of obelisk, looking up and just seeing a giant, glittery, blue ass.
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And then a whole bunch of motorcycles showed up??? Like MOTORCYCLES. And I was like “BRO are they gonna play cards on motorcycles!?” because one of the only reasons I decided “OK Bro, lets actually watch Yugioh” is, and I’ve said this before, because someone mentioned on twitter that they’ll play cards on motorcycles but no.
No one plays cards on motorcycles this episode, they just show up to rev their engines and shine their brights.
Also at least one of them has like the thickest stage Australian accent and it is...rough. He said “bum” once instead of “butt” and you could tell it was just...they said bum to make him sound a little bit more Aussie because we don't really know how to do Australian in the States. We don’t know how this accent works, I’m so sorry.
But anyways, apparently after the God Cards got their energy sapped out, they can now just...be played by whomever? Not entirely clear.
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And then they just...drove away.
Like they drove away without even telling them where to go?
And I was like...maybe they just went to that building under construction right there that is...somehow directly across from Yugi’s house which is...directly across from a super wide 12 laned street?
But...that can’t be right, right? I’m sometimes a little confused by the geography of this show but it’s a cartoon and they’re hard to make so we’ll forgive it.
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Anyway, while Grandpa Muto counts up the damages to send to the insurance company, they figure out where to go, probably by following the God Cards which are...summoned here like holograms although...they are real? Right?
Like...
...so if there’s monsters just flying around, and it’s all the monsters of the duel monster deck, then there is a version of Slither just hanging out somewhere already, right? Or is the one they summon with the card the real Slither?
The show never thought that hard about it honestly. You can both play duel monster cards which I believe are no longer holograms when you play them and also they just inherently exist now so...Lets not think about it and just go to a brand new fight club roof. You know how much these kids love construction equipment.
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Also is this the roof of a freakin IKEA? Look at the size of that thing.
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This cultist just begging for Seto Kaiba to run a helicopter straight into him. Which Seto would probably do all over again if Seto were here.
I guess Seto decided to either go the hell to sleep and hope tomorrow will prove today was a bad dream, or he is celebrating the very best day of his life with his brother, sight seeing all the dragons and desperately trying to lure the dragons into his home with carrots under a box trap or something.
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This guy ABSOLUTELY does Shakespeare in the park and only gets like minor, very minor roles, right? Like he’s the understudy for King Lear’s manservant who has no speaking lines and just pours water into a cup in one scene? And he takes it VERY seriously?
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Yo these side burns.
So bro was like, who do you think would have more product in their hair? This guy or Yugi? And it’s like..well...here’s the thing about Yugi’s hair, he’s got a lot of product, but he has enough scalp to tease the hell out of it. But how do you tease your side burns? How do you tease your side burns so they have the lift of an old timey moustache? you can’t. Those side burns are 90% Elmers glue.
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Hello there, offbrand Final Fantasy guy I see you got a Cloud shoulder pad but you wear two of them.
...
It’s a look they chose.
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I...there’s a lot going on with all of these looks, especially the guy who is straight up wearing pieces of armor on his shoulders in the middle here for no reason but oh I will get to the looks when we see them in more detail later.
But it’s like, do you think Mr Monocle, who’s only character design trait is a single Monocle, will stay in the show very long? Compared to these guys?
Hm.
I guess we will see.
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Thanks, Pegasus.
Thanks for giving us absolutely NO heads up about any of your disaster cards you produced and let loose across the world. Congrats on that. Congrats on printing this freakin card that steals people’s souls and delivering it out there where children could find it in their happy meals.
Like do you think he printed the Orichalcos card before or after the God Cards? Because I’d like to think that he finished up shoving the God Cards onto Ishizu and then was like “phew, crisis averted” and then immediately painted a weird geometric shape and was like “Damn it! I did it again!? Every time I decide not to paint my dead wife I just paint something even worse!”
Anyways, it’s aesthetic takes me back to a much simpler time of my life, and when it shows up the Titanic song pops up in my head? I can’t explain it. It’s just very...very...
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It just screams edgy Riverdance to me, maybe it’s just me, but I feel like it should be accompanied by Enya? Just me? The runes just seem very old world Europe.
Bro really wants these to be the runes above Noah’s fireplace and he’s been holding this in for like an entire season, but that’s not going to happen.
Because I have the receipts:
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Evidence again that Noah’s fireplace was just what Noah thought art was, since he’s a computer and all. He rendered perfect fire and then got to the art and was like fuuuuuuuuuuu just like anyone else who first gets into Unity.
Anyway, Joey got knocked over, so Pharaoh decided to save his friends and it got him nowhere because, like we already figured out last episode and basically more and more every episode of Yugioh, Pharaoh is a freakin idiot.
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So fun fact about the 00′s I’m sure everyone here fondly remembers unless you’re 12 (in which case, why are you on tumblr?) Remember how much we were OBSESSED with glowy blue-green lines and dots on everything in concept art? I really think that trend lasted until about James Cameron’s Avatar when we realized “we took it too far y’all” and then it just kinda died. Still hangs around, but it’s not quite as obvious as the 00′s when it was like “ah I see you have a glowy pastel magicky thingy in your art. A+, lets put it in a grimdark dystopian YA fiction.”
...It was a phase and seeing this shade of green as a glow just really brings me back to the halcyon days of a little less than 10 years ago. It’s very something that would have been in steampunk.
They also get this logo on their head when they use this card, just like Pharaoh but significantly less cool. And it’s on all this guy’s monsters too, so everyone gets the power of branding. With this logo that looks like a joke Portlandia would make about indie logos.
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Pharaoh kind of shrugs this off because like...his soul lives in a freakin necklace and he has magic so...whatever.
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And then we get the full cheese spread--look at this cheese!
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WOWOWOWOW
Look at Dieselpunk Amelie! Here I thought that now Marik wasn’t around we’d have no more stupid crop tops, but it’s back and man I am so happy it’s back. Damn. Everyone has a popped collar covered in as many square inches of belts as they could fit on em. Belts just hanging off willy nilly in every direction so you can barely walk through a hallway without your belt slapping on the edges. Them walking through a revolving door must be the most dangerous game outside of Duel Monsters.
woah.
Oh man, and I didn’t even noticed that they made the middle guy ripped as hell for no reason. His arm looks like a Payday candybar.
But MAN.
Someone give that guy on the right a sword the size of himself because...holy hell his jacket is so massive that it has an accordion shoulder pad for some reason???
Oh shoot I didn’t even realize guy on the right has about 6 rivets on his fingerless gloves, too. Wow.
Oh man it’s a lot to take in.
Do you see em? Do you see how many weird ass accessories are all over these characters these underpaid animators will have to draw SO MANY TIMES?
Oh man, the poor cosplayers! It must be so hard to go from Bandit Keith--a fairly easy cosplay--to the Accordian shouldered 11-belted jacket on Mr I-Dare-You-To-Cosplay-These-Sideburns.
And then this guy screws himself:
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I’m not gonna add him to the Yugioh Death Counter yet, but I have a feeling, especially after seeing how few belts this guy has on...I just have a really strong feeling he’s absolutely going to die.
Goodbye, normal guy, you were too normie for this bizarre world.
Anyway, feel free to leave in the comments, if Yugioh cards became real, which one would you immediately eat and how? (and we can count plant cards as actual plants for the vegans, even if they can talk or whatev--them’s plants, they’re kosher.)
(realizes I have no idea if there’s even plant type cards in Yugioh or if that’s just a pokemon thing)
Anyway that’s all for now but if you just got here, this is a link to read all my Yugioh recaps in Chrono Order, fair warning...this is S4.
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2010s Art: Music, Games, and TV
So I love all forms of art. It may not seem like it since I tend to stick mainly to movies, with the odd cartoon or video game thrown in, but that’s really because movies are more my thing due to not being massive time investments. Like, don’t get me wrong, I gamed, I watched TV, I listened to music, but it was a lot more casual than my deep dive into becoming a major cinephile.
With games and TV, it was mostly issues of money and time respectively. I have a few consoles, mostly Nintendo and Sony ones, and my wife helped me experience Xbox games, but I just don’t have the money needed to experience every good game that comes out. With TV, the time investment is the biggest roadblock, especially when all the best shows have hour-long episodes these days. With movies, I just have to spend 90 minutes to two hours on average; for TV, it’s countless hours I could be watching movies. As for music… well, I listened to a lot, I just don’t feel totally qualified to properly rank and list songs and albums.
So instead of the big decade-spanning list for movies that I’m doing, I’m going to go over some things I enjoyed from the past decade and maybe a few things I didn’t in music, TV, and video games. Here’s a little guide so you know what stuff is something I consider one of my absolute favorites in any given medium - if it’s from this decade, it will be in bold, and if it’s from a previous decade but I experienced it this decade, it will be underlined.
Television
I figured I’d get this out of the way first since it’s the medium I have the least experience with. Let me put it this way: I have seen only one season of Game of Thrones, the first one (and by all accounts I dodged a bullet by dropping that show). I also had the misfortune of jumping in to The Walking Dead right as it was gearing up for its abysmal second season, which turned me off that and led to me only watching an episode here or there. 
I had better luck watching live action shows on streaming. I managed to get through almost all of Pretty Little Liars on Netflix, which was a chore in and of itself; it’s a good show, but boy could it ever get arbitrary and frustrating. Speaking of Netflix, I think it goes without saying that Stranger Things is their best effort; from the likable cast of kids to the awesome soundtrack, even though it never really surpasses season one the show always has something cool going on in one of its plots. My other favorite from Netflix would probably be their take on A Series if Unfortunate Events, which is how you do adaptation expansion right; everything they add feels like it’s in service of fleshing out Lemony Snicket’s dismal world, as well as giving Patrick Warburton an incredible dramatic role as the Lemony narrator himself.
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Amazon managed to score two hits in my book. The first is the unbelievably fun and charming Good Omens, a miniseries that somehow got me to love David Tennant and Michael Sheen more than I already did. The second was the gory joyride that is The Boys which while not the smartest or most original superhero satire is definitely the most fun.
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While I didn’t watch the whole show and would not consider it one of my favorites, I do want to give props to Hannibal for introducing me to Mads Mikkelsen. As far as I’m concerned, he’s the only person aside from Hopkins worthy of playing everyone’s favorite cannibal. Another show I DO consider a favorite despite slacking on keeping up with it is Ash vs. Evil Dead; I only needed to see a single season of Bruce back with the boomstick to know this show was a masterpiece.
On the animated side I have much more to talk about. Not since the 90s have we been spoiled with so many genuinely great and varied cartoons. We got Adventure Time, Regular Show, Steven Universe… really, Cartoon Network raised the bar this decade and made up for an awful 2000s. They even finally gave Samurai Jack a conclusion, which despite the mixed results, was still a real exciting phenomenon to experience.
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Of course, my favorite CN show came from Adult Swim. I am of course referring to Rick & Morty, a fun sci-fi adventure comedy that attracted the most obnoxious fanbase possible in record time. While certainly not a show you need a high IQ to understand and having an atrocious third season, it still manages to be funny and thought provoking in equal amounts. Seriously though. Fuck season 3.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is another great show that I sadly fell off the wagon of around the fifth or sixth season. It never got bad of course but it never really engaged me like the older episodes, though what I’ve heard of the last season makes me wish I’d kept up with it. It was a great show with a lot of heart and character, and I’m not sure we’ll ever see a show like it again.
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Netflix did not slack in the animation department; I didn’t catch their most famous show (it’s the one about a certain Horseman) but I did catch their fantastic take on Castlevania, which as a huge fan of the series was a real treat. Where the fuck is Grant though?
My two favorite shows of the decade, however, are what I see as the pinnacle of East and West: Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure and Gravity Falls. 
JJBA is a series I had vague passing knowledge of, only knowing its existence due to seeing Stone Ocean referenced on the Wikipedia page for air rods when I was younger and, of course, the memes that spawned from Heritage for the Future, which were inescapable back in the day. As soon as I got into the series, it became one of my biggest inspirations, teaching me you can be deep, complex, and filled with great character interactions while also being so batshit insane that every new and absurd power is incredibly easy to buy (looking forward to the rainbows that turn people into snails, animators). They managed to get through the first four parts and start up the fifth over the decade; so far my favorite part is four, mainly due to the magnificent bastard that is Yoshikage Kira (played time perfection by D.C. Douglas) and in spite of serial creep Vic Mangina playing the otherwise lovable asshole Rohan Kishibe.
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Gravity Falls on the other hand is just a fun and engaging mystery show that manages to excel at being episodic and story-driven all at once. There’s only one or two “bad” episodes across two seasons, and it lasted just as long as it needed to, wrapping things up with a satisfactory ending that still gave fans a few mysteries to chew on. It also gave us Grunkle Stan, perhaps the greatest character in all of animation, the pinnacle of “jerk with a heart of gold” characters who is hilarious, badass, and complex all at once. This is my favorite western animated show…
...but then the last year of the decade threw a curveball and, if I’m being honest, is on par with Gravity Falls: Green Eggs and Ham. Netflix really wanted us to know 2D animation is back in 2019; between this show and Klaus, the future is looking bright for the medium. It’s a fun, funny roadtrip comedy that knows when to be emotional and when to be funny, and it’s all filtered through the wubbulous world of Dr. Seuss. It’s just a wonderfully delightful show.
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And on the subject of JoJo, I had a kind of love-hate relationship with anime this decade. The attitudes of anime fans turned me off from anime for a long while. Sure, I checked out stuff like Attack on Titan and Sword Art Online, but neither series really clicked with me. The main anime I loved this decade were ones that started in the 2000s and ended in the 2010s, like Dragon Ball Z Kai and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. I suppose I did enjoy My Hero Academia, which is a really fun show with an awesome and varied cast and great voice acting. Love Froppy, best girl for sure.
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One of the most unfortunate things about this decade was how many great shows got screwed over by their networks. Sym-Bionic Titan, Thundercats, and The Legend of Korra were all great shows in their own right but were treated like shit by their respective networks. It really makes me upset that stuff like that not only happened, but continues to happen to this day.
But let’s not end on a bad note; let’s talk about the astounding returns old shows got. Invader Zim got a movie as did Hey Arnold, with the latter in particular finally wrapping up the dangling plot threads, but those are actual TV movies so they don’t really fit here; what DOES fit is Static Cling, the triumphant return of Rocko’s Modern Life. A forty minute special, it follows Rocko and his friends as they navigate the modern age, trying to bring back Rocko’s favorite cartoon. Rachel Bighead’s arc in this in particular is pretty groundbreaking and awesome. 
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Also awesome was the first few episodes of Samurai Jack’s return, though it did end up petering out halfway through the season and ended on an anticlimactic note. Still, Tom Kenny’s Scaramouche, the sheer amount of continuity, and the awesome final curbstomp battle against Aku are worth giving this a watch. And if nothing else, stuff like this gives me hope for future revivals. What will we see next? Gargoyles comeback? Batman Beyond continuation? KENNY AND THE CHIMP REVIVAL?! Chimpers rise up!
Music
Much like everyone, I listened to a lot of music this decade. There was a lot of shit, and I definitely used to be one of those “wow no one makes good music anymore” morons, but I grew out of that and learned to look in the right places.
Let’s start with the albums I loved the most. Continuing her meteoric rise from the 2000s, Lady Gaga drooped her magnum opus, Born This Way, an album that successfully showcases her skills as she takes on numerous pop styles. No two songs sound the same, and with a couple of exceptions every song slaps. While we’re on the subject of pop stars, Gaga’s contemporary and lesser Katy Perry managed to hit a home run with the fun bit of pop fluff that was Teenage Dream.
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Weird Al was sorely missed for most of the decade, but what albums he did drop featured some of his best work. While Alpocalypse doesn’t hold up quite so well, it’s still solid, but even then it is blown out of the water by Mandatory Fun, an album that just refuses to stop being funny from start to finish. And that’s not the only funny albums this decade; aside from artists I’ll get more into later, George Miller AKA Filthy Frank released Pink Season as one of his last great acts as his character of Pink Guy. The album is as raunchy and filthy as you’d expect. And then for unintentional comedy, Corey Feldman dropped Angelic 2 The Core, an album so musically inept that it ends up becoming endearing; it’s The Room of music.
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As I gamed a lot this decade I got to experience a lot of great video game soundtracks, but the two I found to be the absolute best were Undertale and Metal Gear Rising’s. I couldn’t tell you which soundtrack is better, and I’ve actually made a playlist on my iPod containing my favorite tracks from both games. Pokemon had solid soundtracks all decade, but they definitely were better in single tracks such as Ultra Necrozma’s theme from USUM and Zinnia’s theme from ORAS.
And speaking of individual songs, there were a lot I really loved. The disco revival in the easel ide half of the decade lead to gems like “Get Lucky,” “Uptown Funk,” and… uh, “Blurred Lines.” The controversy to that one might be overblown, but it sure isn’t anything I really want to revisit.
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Corey Feldman may be the king of unintentional comedy, but this decade was seriously ripe with so bad it’s good music. The crown jewel is without a doubt the giddy, goofy “Friday,” but I think the equally stupid but also endlessly more relatable Ark Music production “Chinese Food” is worth some ironic enjoyment as well. 
Meme songs in general were pretty enjoyable, though it came at a price. Remember when everyone tried to be funny by ripping off “Gangnam Style?” Remember when people took that Ylvis song at face value? Irony and satire were lost on the masses. I think the best mene song of the decade, though, is “Crab Rave,” a bouncy instrumental dance track with a fun music video and an absurd yet hilarious meme tacked to it. And then we have “The Internet is for Music,” a gargantuan 30 minute mashup featuring every YTMND, 4chan, Newgrounds, and YouTube meme you could think of (at the time of its release anyway),
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Then we get into artists. Comedy music was great this decade, with Steel Panther and The Lonely Island putting out great work all decade, but by far my favorite funny band is Ninja Sex Party. Dan “Danny Sexbang” Avidan and Brian “Ninja Brian” Wecht are pretty much my favorite entertainers at this point, with them easily being able to go from doing goofy yet epic songs where they fuck or party to doing serious and awesome cover albums where Dan flexes his impressive vocals. A big plus is how all of their albums are easily some of my favorites ever, with not a single bad CD, and that’s not even getting into their side project Starbomb. These guys are a treasure.
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Then we have Ghost, a Swedish metal band who play up the Satanic panic for all it’s worth. These guys captured my interest when I heard the beautiful “Cirice” on the radio, and despite that song rocking the fuck out, Imagine my surprise when it ended up being only middle of the road awesome for this band! With killer original songs like “Rats,” “Mary in the Cross,” and “Square Hammer” to a awesome covers like “Missionary Man” and “I’m a Marionette,” it’s almost enough to get a guy to hail Satan. I think they appeal to me mainly because they have a style very in line with the 80s, most evident on tracks like “Rats.” 
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While I’d hesitate to call him one of my favorite musicians yet (he is really good so far though), one of my favorite people in entertainment is Lil Nas X. From his short but sweet songs that crush genre boundaries to his hilarious Twitter feed, this guy is going places and I can’t wait to see what those places are.
And finally, the guy I think may be one of the greatest creative geniuses alive and who has nearly singlehandedly shaped Internet culture with everything he does… Neil Cicierega. While it’s not like I only discovered him in the 2010s - the guy has been an omnipresent force in my life since Potter Pupper Pals debuted - he definitely became the guy I would unflinchingly call the greatest artist of our time over that period.   Whether he’s releasing the songs under his own name or as Lemon Demon, you can always be sure that the songs are going to burrow into your brain. His Lemon Demon album Spirit Phone, which features songs about urban legends and the horrors of capitalism, is easily my pick for album of the decade. And then under his own name he released three mashup mixtapes: Mouth Sounds, Mouth Silence, and Mouth Moods. All three are stellar albums, but only Mouth Moods has “Wow Wow,” the bouncing track about homoerotic bee-loving Will Smith and outtakes so good they deserve to be on the next album.
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Video Games 
Having a PC this decade was great because it let me experience a lot of games I probably wouldn’t have otherwise, like Half-Life, BioShock, Earthnound, Mother 3, and Final Fantasy VI and VII. All of these and more are among my favorite games of all time now, but we’re here to talk about the stuff from this decade I consider great.
It’s hard to talk about this decade in gaming without mentioning Skyrim. Yes, it has flaws and the main storyline is a bit undercooked, but there’s so much fun to be had dicking about in the wilderness it’s hard to be too mad. And if you have mods, there are endless opportunities to expand the game. The same is true for the other game I have sunk countless hours into, The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth. Not only is there a thriving modding community, but it has been supported and encouraged by the creators and some mods have even made the leap into becoming fully canon! It’s always a blast to revisit and see how far I can break the game with item combos.
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Surprisingly, Batman managed to get not one, not two, but THREE awesome licensed games this decade! Arkham Asylum, Arkham City, and the unfairly maligned Arkham Origins all kick as much ass as the Dark Knight himself. The former two reunite Mark Hamill and Kevin McConroy as Joker and Batman while the latter features numerous stellar boss battles. The combat in these games is so graceful and fluid, you WILL feel like Batman at some point, be it after flawlessly clobbering two dozen mooks or silently eliminating a room of thugs before they even realize you’re there.
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Pokémon had a bit of a rocky decade; it started out strong with the fifth generation, the best games in the series with a great story, region, and sidequests and then just went downhill from there. Not incredibly so, of course - the games were always fun at least - but gens VI through VIII were not the most graceful steps into 3D. Still, every gen managed to produce some of my all-time favorite Pokémon. Gen V had Volcarona, Chandelure,  and Meloetta; Gen VI gave us Hoopa, Klefki, the Fairy type in general, and a gorgeous mega evolution for my favorite Pokémon, Absol; Gen VII had the Ultra Beasts and Ultra Necrozma, some of the coolest concepts in the series, as well as Pyukumuku; and Gen VIII gave us Cinderace, Dracovish, Dracozolt, Polteageist, Hatterene, Snom, and Zacian. And those are just samplings mind you, these gens are full of hits.
Bringing back old franchises yielded amazing results. Look no further than the triumphant return of Doom in 2016, which had you ripping and tearing through the forces of Hell with guns, chainsaws, and your bear fucking hands. This game is HARDCORE. Less bloody and gory but no less awesome was the return of not just Crash Bandicoot, but Spyro as well in remakes that are easily the definitive ways to experience the games. And don’t even get me started on the remastered DuckTales!
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Platinum games did not fuck around this decade, delivering Bayonetta 2 and Metal Gear Rising. The former is a balls-to-the-wall sequel to the amazing original Bayonetta that, while lacking in bosses quite as impressive as the first game’s, is more polished and has a fun story and a better haircut for Bayonetta; the latter is an action game so insane it makes the rest of the Metal Gear franchise look tame in comparison. The latter in particular is in my top ten games ever, with every boss battle feeling epic, all the music kicking ass, and Raiden truly coming into his own as a badass.
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Speaking of Metal Gear, the divisive The Phantom Pain easily earns its place here. While much fuss has been made about the game being “unfinished,” it still has a complete and satisfying ending even if it doesn’t totally wrap up the dangling plot threads the young Liquid Snake leaves behind. The overarching themes as well as Venom and his relationship with characters like Kaz, Paz, and ESPECIALLY Quiet make this game, with his and Quiet’s being particularly beautiful and tragic. The Paz quest, Quiet’s exit, and the mission where Snake has to put down his men after they get infested with parasites are all some of the most heartbreaking moments in the franchise. But it’s not all tears; there’s plenty of fun to be had harassing Russians in Afghanistan while blaring 80s synth pop from your Walkman. Oh yeah, and fuck Huey.
The Ace Attorney series also thrived, with both Spirit of Justice and Dual Destinies transitioning the series into 3D a lot more graceful than some other franchises while still maintaining the with and charm the series is known for. And if that wasn’t enough for my point-and-cluck adventure needs, Telltale had me covered with The Wolf Among Us and the first season of The Walking Dead. The stories and characters of those games are so good, it’s enough to make you sad they never got a timely sequel or sequels that weren’t shit respectively.
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This decade is when I really got into fighting game, though I’m not particularly good. I supported Skullgirls (and am even in the credits!), and got into Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 and JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All-Star Battle (and I also got into its spiritual predecessor, Heritage for the Future). But by and large my favorite fighting game of the decade and the one I’m actually pretty good at is Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, the most ridiculously ambitious crossover in video game history. The fact that the game is STILL getting more characters added is a testament of how insanely great the game is because instead of being mad that there’s so much DLC, people are going rabid waiting for news of more. It’s such an awesome, complete game out the door that the DLC feels earned rather than half a game being held hostage. Other devs, take note!
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A lot of franchises put their best foot forward for sequels. God of War III was an awesomely bloody finale to the original journey of Kratos, with more epic bosses than ever; now he’s off fighting Norse gods, and I hear that game is even better! Portal 2 is just an absolute blast, and easily surpasses the first game on the merit of having Cave Johnson alone; the fact we get Wheatley and the malfunctioning personality cores honestly feels like overkill. Then we have BioShock… 2. While it’s certainly not as good as the first game, I think it was a lot of fun, and it got way too much flak.
 I think it definitely aged better than Infinite which, while still a good game in its own right (it’s hard to hate a game with a character as endearing as Elizabeth), definitely was not warranting the levels of acclaim it got with such a muddled narrative. “Overrated” and “overhyped” are not words I keep in my vocabulary and I certainly would not describe Infinite as such, but I do feel like people got swept up in the gorgeous visuals and the story bits and characters that are effective and so weren’t nearly as critical of its flaws. It’s still a good, fun game with an interesting world, but it pales in comparison to the other two BioShocks. I feel like The Last of Us is in a similar boat. That being said, I couldn’t tell you why; it has a great story, good characters, plenty of replayability, and fascinating enemy design. But despite all that, I appreciate this game more than love it. It’s the Citizen Kane of video game sin that regard at least.
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I’d be remiss to not mention the big indie successes of the decade. Shovel Knight is easily one is the greatest platform era ever made, taking everything great about the platformers on the NES and SNES, removing the bullshit, and delivering numerous bonus campaigns with unique playstyles. Then there was Abobo’s Big Adventure, a marvelous mashup of all sorts of games starring the beloved Double Dragon mook as he goes on a bloody quest to save his son. It’s a blast and there is tons of variety but some sections are definitely as hair-pullingly difficult as the games that inspired them. And then there is Doki Doki Literature Club, the free visual novel that brutally subverts your expectations. Sadly, I do feel the game loses some impact on subsequent playthroughs, but it’s still a great, effective story that skillfully utilizes meta elements.
Still, the greatest indie success of them all is Toby Fox’s masterpiece, Undertale. Charming, funny, emotional, and populated by a cast of some of the most fun and lovable characters ever conceived, this game was an instant smash and is still talked about to this day. Sure, things like Sans have been memed to death, but it’s hard to not just love and cherish the beautiful world Toby Fox managed to create. This game may not be the greatest game of all time, but for what it is I wouldn’t hesitate to name it the game of the decade.
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There was a lot of great art in the 2010s, and while I couldn’t get around to all of it, I’m so happy with what I got to experience. Here’s hoping that the 2020s can be just as amazing!
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